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Chapter Text

A small group of nurses hurriedly pushed a hospital bed, at the same time asking everyone to move aside and make way for their entourage. The quiet corridor was soon thrown into a hectic state; pairs of eyes instinctively trying to catch a glimpse of the patient being carried in such urgency, while others were attempting to dig for information by asking others around them, hoping that someone might hold an answer to satiate their curiosity. 

In the midst of this chaos, Luo Wenzhou stood leaning against a crutch. On top of having a broken leg, one of his hands was supported with a cast; his head and neck covered in white bandages, painful bruises and cuts scattered on the surface of his skin not hidden by the hospital gown. He saw that bed being pushed into an operating room. Inside, doctors and a few more nurses had already been waiting with stern anticipation.

He heard it, before the door was closed, one of the nurses exclaimed:

“Doctor, the patient’s heart has stopped beating!”

He did not know how the doctor responded, nor did he know what method they were going to use to resuscitate him for the door was shut tight in the next moment. Time seems to flow irregularly, he could not tell if it was going fast or slowing down. People were passing by around him in a blur, all sounds seemed to have been blocked out of his ears. Holding the crutch, he failed to notice that his hand was trembling violently, and his other hand was balled into a fist so hard that his fingernails almost dug into his palm. Within that period of time, his anxious eyes did not seem to blink even once. All that was reflected on those dark pupils was the closed off operating room, dreadfully silent like  a gate guarding the path between life and death.

It was the first time in his life that he felt so terrified and helpless.

Finally, after what seemed to have been an eternity, the door slowly opened. Luo Wenzhou could not get a clear look of the situation inside, just that he felt everyone was strangely quiet. One of the doctors stepped out to the corridor where he stood, at the same time removing the surgical mask from his face. The face revealed underneath wore a grim expression. Before he could even shake his head in regret, Luo Wenzhou had felt his heart going cold.

Did he scream? Did he cry in that otherwise serene corridor? He only knew that an unknown power propelled his wounded body forward, limping and shaking as he held the crutch tight while forcing his way into the operation room. The doctors and nurses tried to stop him, but he pushed them all aside and stumbled to the bedside.

The moment he stood there, the familiar face that was lying on that bed did not greet him with a smile. His beautiful peach blossom eyes were closed, his face was pale as a clean sheet of paper and his lips bereft of blood.

He was lifeless.

Luo Wenzhou wanted to speak yet found his voice stuck in his throat. Only when a nurse proceeded to cover that face with a white cloth did he finally manage to open his mouth.

With all his remaining strength, he screamed out that person’s name.

“...uo? Captain Luo? Wenzhou!”

Luo Wenzhou was startled awake. So startled that he thought he almost fell from the chair, simply to realize that it was just his elbow slipping from the chair’s handle, hence his head that had been supported by his arm suddenly dropped, as well. Bleary-eyed, he swept his gaze around in confusion, soon finding that he was sitting at his own desk, inside his own office in the City Bureau. For a moment, he let out a sigh of relief; his heartbeat that was racing from shock gradually calming down upon seeing the familiar sight.

In front of him stood the person who had been calling him just now.

“Wenzhou, are you alright?” Tao Ran slightly bent down, giving a light pat on his shoulder, “You look terrible.”

“Nonsense. If I look terrible, other people must’ve been disfigured,” the Captain of the Criminal Investigation Unit waved his hand carelessly; the brief moment of vulnerability that he showed mere seconds ago seemed to be nothing more than an illusion. He fixed his sitting position and looked back at Tao Ran. “What is it?”

There was a brief pause. His deputy did not answer immediately but stared at his half drowsy, half awake face. Tao Ran did not comment any further, however, and placed a thin folder on his desk instead.

“This is a report from today’s case,” he said, “The autopsy report matches the evidence we found on the crime scene. The young woman stabbed her boyfriend first, and after making sure that he was dead, she killed herself with the same weapon.”

“I see. And the motive?”

“According to their relatives that we interrogated, before she went out with the victim, she used to date another man and experienced a very bad breakup. When she dated the victim, she seemed to suffer from paranoia caused by her previous relationship and became extremely obsessive towards him.”

“So she got tired of feeling scared. Rather than waiting for that guy to leave her one day, she thought she might as well kill him and then kill herself when they were still together.”

“That’s about it,” Tao Ran replied, slightly casting his gaze down. Luo Wenzhou studied his expression for a bit. With his old friend’s personality, the truth of this case must sound quite disturbing. Yet there was nothing they could do about it. What already happened, happened.

“Well, it’s good that this doesn’t turn out to be a complicated case with plot twists hiding in the corner. Are the suspect and the victim’s family still here? If yes, we’ll go tell them and-”

As he said this, Luo Wenzhou placed the folder back on the table and rose from his seat. Nevertheless, the moment he stood up, he felt the view around him spinning and he inadvertently swayed to the side. Tao Ran’s pupils contracted. He quickly rushed to his friend’s side and supported him before he fell crashing against the cold, hard floor.

“Wenzhou?!”

Luo Wenzhou wanted to play it off as usual, but this time he was betrayed by his own body. Although his sight was no longer spinning, the inside of his head was pounding. It wasn’t so painful to the point that he wanted to curl up and collapse, yet still it took some time for him to regain his focus. Luo Wenzhou lifted his hand to cover his eyes, shaking his head a few times. Only then could he take a deep breath.

“I’m alright,” he said to Tao Ran in his usual voice. Even so, the other person had known him for far too long, he couldn’t be deceived so easily. The Deputy Captain frowned as he pulled back his supporting hands.

“If you’re alright, then those patients at the hospital must’ve all kicked the bucket,” using his own words against him, Tao Ran started scolding, “What happened to you? Are you sick? Your complexion doesn’t look good.”

“I told you nothing’s wrong with me,” Luo Wenzhou replied. But he soon found Tao Ran staring at him, partly hesitant to keep pushing for an answer, partly brimming with concern he couldn’t let this matter go just like that. Luo Wenzhou had no choice but to add in an explanation. “It’s just lack of sleep.”

“Lack of sleep?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

To his response, the Deputy Captain raised his brow; his mouth almost hanging open in disbelief. Tao Ran had always been a kindhearted person. If he could, he would never say anything that might offend others. However, even without having to hear him speak, Luo Wenzhou could already read his thoughts written all over his agape face.

“You? Not sleeping well? Are pigs going to start flying?” was more or less what this guy wanted to say, probably.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tao Ran’s unspoken reaction bestowed him a smack in the face with the very file folder he had brought in just now. Luo Wenzhou didn’t even try to hide his grumble, and his old friend immediately gathered himself, resuming the conversation from where they left off.

“But I thought you never have any sleeping problems? Since when have you been struggling with this issue? Why?” he asked.

“Who knows? Maybe because my bed warmer leaves me all alone for a full month with two ungrateful felines that keep stepping all over my face every night.”

Tao Ran immediately stopped asking; all signs of concerns disappeared from his face at once. Their captain was always like this. On one hand, he was a dependable superior that everyone looked up to, a brave police officer who would uphold justice at all cost. On the other hand, he really did have a knack to summon an urge in everybody’s mind to beat him into a pulp, even when they were genuinely worried about him.

But still, this and that were completely different matters. Despite his prattles, Luo Wenzhou’s complexion really did not look good and when he was about to fall over just now, it did not seem to be a mere case of him being careless and tripping over something. Tao Ran, of all people, understood him the most. The Deputy Captain sighed and looked at him.

“Forget about the suspect and the victim’s family. Lang Qiao and I will take care of them,” he said, “Working hour is about to end soon. Why don’t you go home and rest?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I said, go back home and get some rest,” Tao Ran spelled each word for him, “I don’t know how long you’ve been having problems with your sleeping quality, but continuous lack of sleep can invite other illnesses and impair both your physical and mental state. Right now we don’t have any big cases at hand. Your subordinates are more than capable of handling mere paperworks and communications, so you can leave this to us. We’d be sure to call you if there’s anything urgent. And at that time...”

Tao Ran lightly pat him on the shoulder.

“At that time, we’ll need our Captain to be in perfect condition so he can lead us all as always, don’t you think so?”

A reassuring smile from a reassuring friend. Though he was never at all fond of being lectured and being told what to do, not only Luo Wenzhou knew that Tao Ran was making perfect sense, he was also aware of his own physical condition. To be honest, he, too, just wanted to sleep. He also wanted to have a good rest.

It’s just that he had a reason…

“...Alright, I’ll leave it to you guys then,” in the end, Luo Wenzhou decided to concede, “Make sure to call me if something comes up.”

“Yes, sir,” Tao Ran smiled, looking eased to find that this stubborn specimen of a superior was listening to him for once. A flash of worry remained on his gentle face, nonetheless, and as he watched Luo Wenzhou strolling out of his office, the Deputy Captain couldn’t help but follow along and walk alongside him. “You’d be alright on your own, right? Your place is close, but if you don’t feel good, maybe it would be best to call for a taxi to drive you home. Also, if you think your condition hasn’t improved tomorrow, I think it’s alright to call in sick.”

“What are you raving on about? Are you my boss? My mom?” Luo Wenzhou smacked him square on the forehead, “It’s not like I’m suffering from some chronic disease. I can get home safely even with my eyes closed.”

Hearing his answer, Tao Ran could only smile.

“When is Fei Du coming back?” he asked.

“Dunno. Should be around next week according to his initial plan, but he may or may not extend it depending on how business turns out over there,” Luo Wenzhou shrugged.

“President Fei is working hard,” Tao Ran laughed, “Watching him growing up, can’t say I don’t feel proud of him.”

“Lao Tao, are you getting old?”

“If I’m old, then so are you,” to his remark, Luo Wenzhou received an elbow on the side, “Alright, I’ll go back now and wrap up the rest of this case. Take care, Lao Luo.”

Luo Wenzhou gave him a “Mn” and a nod.

The two of them parted ways. As Tao Ran went back into the City Bureau’s building, Luo Wenzhou walked out to the parking lot where his car had been waiting for him since morning. He threw himself into the driver’s seat, starting the engine and remained seated for a while, not immediately leaving the office. Both hands holding the steering wheel, he pressed his head against the back of his palm, closing his eyes and groaned.

“The truth is I also want to sleep as much as I can. It’s just that every time I fall asleep…”

The sound of police sirens and the following ambulances ripped through the quiet night of Binhai. Arriving in front of an abandoned building that used to be a lumber mill, Luo Wenzhou hopped out of his car and stormed inside with his comrades.

Dead bodies lay scattered everywhere, from the front yard and into the building, all the way down the stairs leading underground. Some of them were thugs and criminals working under a certain clan of a renowned conglomerate, some others were not familiar faces, but Luo Wenzhou knew who they were and for whom they were working. His mind had no room to think about these details, however, for every single grey cell of his brain was entirely occupied with something far more pressing than identifying a mountain of corpses.

Cold air entering his lungs was as painful as knives slicing down his chest whenever he breathed. The rate of which his heart was beating could perhaps rupture his veins if it rose any higher. Bullets of sweats dripped down from his temple. Amidst the chilling temperature, the shirt on his back was already soaked. With each hurried step he took he could only pray, praying that he wouldn’t be too late.

There were sounds and voices clashing against each other further down below. People howling and cursing, fists and blunt objects hitting god knows what, but the most obvious of all was the sound of guns and rifles being fired times and times and again.

How many people had been shot? Who had been shot? Luo Wenzhou could hear a terrifying alarm resounding in his head with every passing second, numbing his senses. It took him everything he had to hold back from screaming and smashing his head straight into the wall so that these dangerous thoughts would stop gnawing at him for a second.

At the end of the dark labyrinth-like path, he finally discovered the scene of the crime, the place where the two clashing criminal groups were facing off. Ignoring the brawls and fights around him, upon his first step into this place, Luo Wenzhou’s eyes were locked only towards a certain sight at the center of it all.

A terminally ill old man crawling on the ground, holding a gun on his hand. Across the pointed muzzle was a slender young man; his neck clasped tightly with one end of a metal ring, while the other end was choking the throat of a comatose patient on a wheeled stretcher, a scumbag that was his father. On the young man’s hand was a device that would decide the fate for either one of them; himself or the man whose life was hanging by the life support stuck onto his body.

The howl of the crippled old man at that moment pierced through Luo Wenzhou’s ears, planting itself deep into his mind.

“PRESS IT! PRESS IT DOWN! HAVEN’T YOUR FATHER TRAINED YOU COUNTLESS TIMES TO SQUEEZE YOUR MOTHER’S THROAT WITH THAT THING?! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?! HAVEN’T YOU BEEN DREAMING OF KILLING HIM ALL THIS TIME?!”

Without a second thought, Luo Wenzhou rushed to kick that old demon at the same time he fired his gun. The bullet strayed, and he flung away that weapon before another bullet could be shot. He dashed to catch the young man then, trying to find the mechanism to remove that metal ring crushing his delicate neck.

It finally opened with a click.

“Fei Du!”

That weak and slender body fell effortlessly into his arms. The glasses he was wearing had fallen and broke into pieces. A bullet wound caused his foot to bleed profusely from his ankle; cuts and bruises marred his pale white skin. Even if the ring strangling his throat had been removed, there was no reaction, not even a single cough.

“Fei Du! Fei Du!!”

Luo Wenzhou kept calling, again and again until his voice became hoarse. But Fei Du did not answer. The frail body lying in his arms showed no signs of waking up.

He was no longer breathing.

The sound of angry horns shook Luo Wenzhou out of his nightmare. Instinctively, he looked to his left and right, and then to the front.

He was sitting in his own car, and out there was a traffic light that had turned green. The drivers lining behind him kept sounding their horns, some even started yelling and cursing before they finally ran out of patience. Luo Wenzhou, at loss, could only stare as he saw those cars moving aside one by one, cutting through him and charging ahead in a flash, not wanting to wait until the color of the light switched.

It took a while to gather his focus that was scattered all over the place. When he came to it at last, he realized that it was a crossroad just a few blocks away from home. While he remained stuck in his seat, the green light had changed to yellow, and then red once more.

“What am I doing…?”

Luo Wenzhou covered his eyes with one hand and groaned. He scolded himself. How could a police officer fall asleep in the middle of the street while driving? He was fortunate that it was during a red light. Otherwise, what kind of catastrophe would he have caused to himself and others? What kind of excuse could he have used to explain? That he hadn’t been sleeping well? That he’d been having trouble sleeping at night?

Once, he thought it was merely a fleeting reverie. He was startled, but he forgot about it as soon as he woke up.

Twice, he might have been overthinking, but which person in this world had never experienced a bad dream or two? 

Thrice, he began to worry. Those were all things of the past, a bad scenario that never happened. Why would they come to haunt him one after another, even if everything had turned out fine in the end?

He could not tell why, let alone how. Before he knew it, every few days or so - sometimes in succession, sometimes occasional - whenever he closed his eyes, these would be the only scenes playing in his dreams. It all felt so real. It struck him right at the most vulnerable spot, the fear he’d been quietly suppressing ever since he’d decided to give his heart to that person.

It had been a short one month since Fei Du left to take care of his company matters overseas, a business trip as normal as one could imagine, but from that day onwards, all that he ever saw in his sleep were the sights of his death.

Again, and again, before his very eyes, Fei Du’s life slipped away from his grasp. 

And he always came too late. Late, and powerless.

Not long afterwards, the traffic light changed to green for the second time. Luo Wenzhou wouldn’t allow himself to make the same mistake twice. Ensuring that his thoughts and mind were in one piece, he stepped on the pedal, driving his car away from the crossroad and resumed his trip back home.

“You may have suffered slight PTSD,” he remembered Tao Ran once told him after they wrapped up that long, exhausting case at Binhai. At that time, he did not want to think too much about it. All loose ends had been tied. The case was closed, the guilty captured and the wounded healed. Despite the huge stress and shock he received back then, Fei Du and him had straightened things out. They see each other everyday, they eat and sleep together everyday. There were times when they would be separated for a few days due to their works, but he could not recall there was any moment where he became anxious enough to the point of being pestered with this kind of recurring nightmare.

This time, too, there wasn’t anything unusual taking place before their momentary parting. Fei Du told him when and where he was leaving, he saw him off, they talked and called each other on a regular basis. To think that the only possible reason left would be him getting lovesick because he could not see that person directly for a month, Luo Wenzhou refused to accept it.

He was not that kind of weak, glass-hearted loser.

Arriving at his apartment block, Luo Wenzhou drove his car into the parking lot and went out of the ride. He strode along the familiar hallway, soon arriving in front of his own place on the first floor. He took out his key and unlocked the door, then stepping inside casually while closing it again behind him.

“Children, Daddy’s home!” Luo Wenzhou called.

Both Luo Yiguo and Fei Qian should’ve welcomed him whenever he came back; the old and young master cats would naturally be waiting for their litter box attendant to return and take care of their needs. However, this time he received not a single response to his summon. There was no sound, not a single soul, be it humans or animals, awaiting him at home. Luo Wenzhou immediately felt uneasy. This was his own house, but why did the atmosphere feel different?

“Luo Yiguo? Fei Qian?”

The living room was empty; the study, kitchen, and bedrooms were also bereft of any signs of life. As he walked further in, for some reason there was an unknown force telling him to turn towards a certain direction. His eyes shifted to the steps leading down to the basement, and the moment he looked at what was ahead, Luo Wenzhou’s breath was stuck in his throat.

A security door, with a keypad lock installed on it, equipped with an alarm. Yet at this moment, the door was slightly open, as if inviting him to come venturing into whatever secret lied in wait behind it.

“What the fuck? Am I dreaming again?”

Luo Wenzhou held the urge to pinch himself and took careful steps towards the said door. It swung inside with just a little push, and the sight within was not his own basement where he kept his old bicycle and gym equipment. Instead, it was a dreadfully familiar place - an open, spacious room entirely painted in white. So white it was that the color was almost blinding. There was a cabinet filled with medicines - tranquilizers, emetics, and many other bottles which labels he could not understand. There was a huge projection setup, and directly across the giant screen was a reclining chair - an electric shock equipment.

The faint scent of blood wafted in the cold air.

Luo Wenzhou thought his heart was about to come to a complete stop. It wasn’t the bizarre view that terrified him so. It was the fact that on the electric chair that was supposed to be empty in his memory, a person was sitting there.

“Fei Du?!”

Both hands falling to the sides, his body was limp and the only reason he did not slide down was because his entire person was strapped tight to the electric chair under the worn out belts. His head was somewhat tilted; the dark strands of his hair falling to cover his ashen face.

Luo Wenzhou did not need to touch him to learn what had happened.

This person he’d been trying to protect, once again, he lied dead before his very eyes.

Chapter Text

“Hello, Tao ran- ge . Are you still at the office?”

A taxi drove through the highway of Yan City, straight to the direction of the city center. In the back seat, Fei Du, who had just landed from his flight an hour ago, was leaning comfortably against the soft couch of this executive taxi service; one hand holding a phone to his ear and the other resting on his right knee that was crossed over his left leg.

The familiar voice at the receiving end of the call sounded both surprised and delighted. When he spoke, Fei Du could almost imagine that person’s unchanging kind smile spreading across his face.

“Fei Du? You’re already back in the country?” Tao Ran asked, “I thought you’re supposed to return around next week.”

“I wrapped up early. It’s not fun being by myself over there for too long, surrounded only by business colleagues and nobody else,” answering calmly, Fei Du pushed up his glasses, “I bought something for the team. If Tao Ran- ge and everyone are still there, I thought I’d drop by to deliver them, and also to give a surprise pick-up to my Shixiong .”

When he said the last part of the sentence, his lips slightly curled into a smile. Not that Tao Ran would be able to see it, but not one person who knew him wouldn’t be able to understand. He’d probably receive an awkward laugh as an answer.

“Ah, you don’t have to pick him up. Wenzhou called in sick since yesterday.”

Yet to his surprise, what he obtained was unexpected information instead.

“Called in sick?” bewilderment grew on President Fei’s usually collected face.

“Yeah. Actually he hasn’t been looking well since two days ago, so I urged him to go home early and rest. He hasn’t come to the office again since then,” Tao Ran’s worried sigh could be heard from the other end of the line, “Yesterday he still replied to my message, saying that he needed more time to rest, but no news at all from him today.”

Fei Du fell silent. Although it was not strange for a human being to get sick, that person was in an entirely different class of his own. Simply put, “Luo Wenzhou” and “sick” were two words that could not coexist in the same sentence. Aside from his smoking habit, Fei Du had never seen a healthier person than him. Unless he got into an accident or was physically hurt in a mission, the chance of this shixiong of his getting ill was less than miniscule.

And now he was told that this person had been sick for at least two days in a row?

“Fei Du? Fei Du, are you still there?”

“Oh, sorry, ge . What was it that you were saying?” Fei Du immediately broke out of his pondering.

“I said, I actually planned to visit him after work today. But since you’re already back, then I suppose I’ll leave Wenzhou to your care,” said Tao Ran, “Please let me know if something happens. He has never called in sick in years. Everyone is worried about him.”

“I understand. I’m on my way home now,” Fei Du smiled, “The souvenirs… I’ll find another time to visit you guys at the City Bureau.”

“It’s okay, you’ve already gone through all the trouble buying it for us even if you’re busy,” from the other side, he could hear Tao Ran’s friendly laugh.

“ Ge , did shixiong say anything about why he isn’t feeling well?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure. He only told me that he lacks sleep, but I have no idea why.”

“...I see. That’s alright. I’ll check on him as soon as possible. Thank you for telling me, ge .”

“No problem. If you need help, feel free to call us.”

The call ended after the two said their goodbye. Putting his phone back into his pocket, the smile on Fei Du’s face soon vanished as he couldn’t help but think about the conversation he just had. If he was told that person caught a cold, or hurt his leg when chasing a criminal, or any other specific disease, it might have been easier for him to understand. Sleep deprivation certainly wasn’t one of the reasons he would think of that could disable someone like Luo Wenzhou, especially not for such a prolonged period of time.

After all, Luo Wenzhou always slept like a log that not even a bomb in the next room could disturb him. How could he start having sleeping issues now?

President Fei crossed his arms and leaned back against his seat once more. He turned his face to the window. Outside was the scenery of Yan City slowly being swallowed by darkness as the sun set further into the west. He blinked once; the moving view of the metropolis was reflected on the clear surface of his spectacles, following the steady speed of the taxi exiting the highway and into the main road.

Without his realization, his fingers tightened against the fabric of his sleeves.

“I suppose I’ll find out once I get home.”

Half an hour later, the taxi arrived in front of their apartment. Fei Du paid the driver, not forgetting to leave a generous tip before he stepped out of the car. He did go abroad for a month, but as it was not a leisure trip, his only luggage was a medium-sized suitcase that he could easily push while he walked, now added with a shopping bag on top filled with souvenirs he’d bought for Tao Ran and the folks at the City Bureau’s Crime Investigation Unit. And of course, also for the man waiting for him at home and their two furry lieges that sat at the top of the food chain in their little family.

He went straight to Luo Wenzhou’s apartment - now also his home - on the first floor. The door was not locked when he tried to open it. As he stepped inside, the first thing Fei Du heard were two consecutives “meows” coming from the living room.

Luo Yiguo, the original master of the house poked his head out to check on the incomer. After him, Fei Qian followed suit in a similar manner. Upon seeing his familiar face and smelling his familiar scent, the two felines immediately threw away their initial wariness and came closer.

“I’m back,” Fei Du told them, and received another chorus of meows.

He pushed his suitcase and shopping bag to the side, taking off his shoes and put them on the rack. Just as he was about to remove his long coat, however, the door of the master bedroom swung open.

Luo Wenzhou stood there, one hand still holding onto the door knob. His bloodshot eyes locked Fei Du in place.

“ Shixiong ?”

He had no idea what happened. Everything occurred in a flash. When he came to it, Fei Du already found himself enfolded in a pair of strong arms; his back slammed against the door. Luo Yiguo and Fei Qian both yelped in surprise and scattered away. In the meantime, the strength that Luo Wenzhou exerted to embrace him was almost enough to snap his bones in half. Fei Du was ultimately crushed between his arms.

“Darling, did you miss me so much?”

“We’ve only been separated for 30 days and you already couldn’t hold back.”

Countless teasings and flirtatious words were formed in his mind, but just as he was about to speak them aloud, Fei Du could not bring himself to open his mouth. Luo Wenzhou’s arms that were holding him were trembling. His broad shoulders shook as he remained hugging him, unmoving. Thinking back to the moment when he stepped out of the bedroom, Fei Du recalled the sight of his face - sickly pale with dark circles under his reddened eyes.

It seems that Tao Ran was right. Luo Wenzhou did not look well at all.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” softly, Fei Du whispered and put his hands on Luo Wenzhou’s back, patting him a few times, “I was told that you got sick. What happened?”

Instead of an answer, what he received was a sudden kiss so fierce it took his breath away. Fei Du was caught off guard. He did not see this coming, at least not without warning. Yet something inside him said that he should not fight back, nor should he provoke him any further. He only parted his lips slightly, allowing Luo Wenzhou to force his way in and stirred his inside. The kiss was not only impatient, it felt like he was being ravished by a beast. As experienced as he was, Fei Du still struggled to regulate his breathings, lest he’d faint from lack of air. Holding the back of his head, Luo Wenzhou did not allow him even half a second to rest and continued pressing against him as though afraid he might flee.

Others might say that a kiss so passionate could only lead to an act of lust. It was right for the most part, including in their own experience. However, having remained by his side for so long, exchanging heat and holding each other close far too many times than he could count, Fei Du could sense what the other was feeling without having to ask. He could tell if Luo Wenzhou kissed him because he was in the mood for sex, he could tell if Luo Wenzhou did it just as a gesture of love and adoration. The innumerable kisses, smooches, and pecks they had shared, Fei Du could pick and tell them apart one from the other.

Right now, in this long, seemingly fervent kiss that immobilized his entire body, the only feeling Fei Du could perceive was severe anxiety.

Leaving a trace of translucent line between their lips, Luo Wenzhou eventually pulled back. Their labored breathing, slowly coming into a calm, was the only sound that could be heard within their quiet home; neither one of the two cats dared to come out and approach them as though capable of sensing the unusual heaviness in the atmosphere. Luo Wenzhou’s dark eyes were tainted with uncertainty. His brows were knitted. He studied Fei Du’s face from the top of his head to his smooth, finely shaped chin. Hesitantly, his trembling fingers brushed Fei Du’s black hair to the back of his ear. He cupped his face in his hands.

“...It’s you…” he whispered; his voice low and hoarse.

“It’s me,” Fei Du smiled, “Who else could it be but me?”

“...You’re alive.”

This statement sparked an inkling of suspicion in Fei Du’s heart, but he kept it to himself.

“Of course I’m alive, Darling,” he tilted his head, gently rubbing his face against Luo Wenzhou’s hand, “Who told you otherwise?”

There was silence. Within that period of time, Fei Du did not take his eyes off the other’s and his subtle smile remained. The restlessness in Luo Wenzhou’s dark pupils began to settle little by little. At last, there was a hint of relief coloring his expression. Luo Wenzhou let out a faint sigh. When he looked like he was just about to step back, however, his tall body swayed and almost crashed to the side.

“Wenzhou?!”

Fei Du instinctively moved forward to catch him before he smashed his head against the wall. He grabbed his shoulder and hand, helping him to straighten his posture.

“What’s wrong? How are you feeling right now?”

“I’m alright… Sorry…” Luo Wenhou pinched the space between his brows, covering his eyes. He couldn’t fool anyone. Even when he said that, his voice sounded weak. Fei Du could not bear seeing him like this.

“Let’s first get you back to bed, alright?” he coaxed, tugging at his hands.

Luo Wenzhou did not answer, but he did not retaliate either. Seeing this, Fei Du carefully led him back to the master bedroom which door was still ajar, leaving his luggage still sitting by the door with the unopened souvenir bag. Inside, he supported Luo Wenzhou all the way until he sat down at the side of the bed. Only then did Fei Du take a step back and finally removed his coat, carelessly throwing it to the floor.

This was actually a test. When he saw that Luo Wenzhou did not nag at him for his sloppy behavior, he knew at once that this person really wasn’t in a good condition.

“ Shixiong ,” he crouched down in front of Luo Wenzhou, taking his hands into his own, “I heard you haven’t been sleeping well lately. What happened? Will you talk to me about it?”

Luo Wenzhou stared at him; the gaze in his eyes was unreadable, yet at the same time miserable. It took a while until he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“Who did you hear it from?”

“Tao Ran- ge . Actually, I called him after leaving the airport because I wanted to drop some souvenirs for your team, and also to surprise you by picking you up after work. But he said you haven’t been coming to the office since yesterday,” replied Fei Du, “ Shixiong , what happened?”

There was a pause again. The corners of Luo Wenzhou’s lips were pulled into a self-mocking smile.

“I’m going to sound unreasonable,” he said.

“We’ve both said and done a lot of unreasonable things before. Adding another one to the list won’t change anything.”

Luo Wenzhou snorted lightly, as if trying to tell him that his response was just as expected.

“......I dream of your death,” he said.

“My ‘what’ now?” Fei Du raised his brow, but he didn’t say anything.

“Starting from the day you left to the moment you returned just now, every single time I tried to close my eyes, all I see is the sight of your life slipping away from my hands in many different ways. And I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t even see you letting out your last breath and left only with your lifeless body in my arms.”

When he spoke, it was clear that Luo Wenzhou was struggling to keep his voice steady, lest it would tremble incessantly. He was never one who would expose his weak side to others, and now that he thought about it, Fei Du could not recall the last time he saw Luo Wenzhou in this state.

Because in all of those instances, he was never in a condition to witness it.

That time when he fell into a coma after shielding him from the bomb, how did Luo Wenzhou look like waiting for him to regain consciousness? That time when Fan Siyuan clasped that metal ring around his neck and Fei Chengyu’s, how did Luo Wenzhou react when he first arrived at the scene and saw him in that state?

“I was afraid you didn’t know how to value your own life, that you’d take my heart and feed it to the dogs!”

Only now did Fei Du understand the gravity of those words.

“I told you I’m being unreasonable,” Luo Wenzhou turned his face away, as though regretting the words he’d spoken himself, “You can forget it. I must’ve sounded like a mad man.”

He made a gesture that suggested that he was about to leave, but Fei Du reacted quickly. He threw himself onto Luo Wenzhou’s lap and draped his hands around the other’s neck. Then he pressed their lips together, kissing him deeply.

Luo Wenzhou stiffened. His hands were stuck holding Fei Du’s waist from when he caught him just now, neither pushing him away nor pulling him in. Fei Du retreated not long after. He smiled softly. But compared to the smile on his lips, the slight crease at the corners of his narrowing peach blossom eyes looked even more mesmerizing. 

“Fei Du?”

“Mm, I’m here,” he replied, sweet tones dripping from his voice, “ Shixiong , did you miss me?”

For a few seconds, Luo Wenzhou looked at him strangely, as if unsure of what he meant. Fei Du’s endearing smile did not falter, however, and in a short while it proved to be contagious. The dark clouds shadowing his face gradually receded, eventually Luo Wenzhou could not help but smile, as well. He embraced Fei Du’s slender body and buried his face against his delicate chest.

“Yeah, I miss you,” he said with a trace of laugh in his words, “I’m sorry I didn’t welcome you back when you arrived.”

“Well, now you have,” Fei Du circled his arms around the other’s back, “Darling, I’m home.”

They were like two opposite ends of a magnet. Without having to exchange neither words nor signal, the two were naturally attracted to each other, once again locking their embrace with a kiss.

“Ah, this is the usual…”

Fei Du’s mind immediately identified the yearning and desire being poured into him. Deciding to reciprocate, he loosened his necktie, then grabbing along the other’s back, slipping his hands into his shirt. Fei Du’s body temperature had always been lower than most people. When his fingertips came into contact with the bareskin under his clothes, Luo Wenzhou seemed slightly startled by the frosty touch. Returning the favor, he pulled out Fei Du’s shirt that was tugged neatly into his trousers, then unfastening all the buttons from top to bottom. He began to massage the area around Fei Du’s lean waist. In contrast, the surface of his palms were scalding hot. Fei Du thought he was about to melt under his touch.

The upper half of their clothes now had been discarded to the floor, yet the two still refused to separate. Fei Du felt Luo Wenzhou tightening his embrace, then carefully flipped him over. Soon, his back sank into the soft mattress of the bed. The sheet was cool and comfortable after having been left for some time. Above, Luo Wenzhou hovered, trapping him between his arms. Those fierce eyes caged his entire existence within those dark-colored spheres. Fei Du secretly trembled with excitement.

“Right now?” he asked, still retaining half a smile amidst his labored breathing, “I’ve just gotten off the plane and haven’t even had time to shower.”

“That’s fine. We can take one together after this,” Luo Wenzhou answered in a restrained voice, “But I’ll stop if you feel too tired from your flight.”

“No, how can I be?” Fei Du draped his arms around the other’s neck, “To think that my shixiong miss me so much to the point of having anxious dreams about me, I have never felt so loved in my entire life before.”

“You little…” Luo Wenzhou pinched the fine, sharp nose in front of him. His expression seemed a little heavy. “I would rather not… I don’t want to see that kind of dream ever again.”

With that said, he leaned forward and kissed the corner of Fei Du’s brow, and from there slowly descended to his cheek, the corner of his lips, and his jaw. Fei Du’s neck was sensitive. When Luo Wenzhou’s lips had just barely brushed against his pale skin, his breath hitched and his body involuntarily stiffened. 

“Fei Du,” Luo Wenzhou’s deep, husky voice reached his ears, “I’ve never asked you this before, but do you hate it when others touch your neck?”

“What?”

“If you don’t like it, I’ll avoid touching your neck from now on.”

“If it was others, of course I’d hate it, but you’re different,” Fei Du smiled. Then, he tilted his face aside provocatively, showing his bare neck on purpose. “I’d love it if you could brand my neck with your marks.”

Even if Fei Du’s flirtatious words were already like regular meals to him, on some occasions, his teasing was still like gasoline being poured all over an already raging fire. Luo Wenzhou did not ask again. Perhaps, his common sense had been burnt away along with his self-restraint. Without warning, he chomped onto the snowy white skin presented before his eyes, almost sinking his canine teeth into the flesh. Fei Du let out a gasp; his back slightly arching in response. He grabbed onto Luo Wenzhou’s arm unconsciously, but the older man pushed his hand down to the side of his head instead; thumb rubbing the surface of Fei Du’s wrist.

The bite mark now left there probably would not disappear for quite some time. Luo Wenzhou did not stop and continued to ravish him - sometimes kissing, sometimes nibbling, sometimes giving another bite, causing red marks to spread all over Fei Du’s throat, collarbone, and shoulders. The way their vivid color contrasting against the pale white skin was no less than indecent - if others were to see this, they would surely blush. With one of his hands occupied with holding down Fei Du’s wrist, Luo Wenzhou began kneading on his chest with the other hand, then sliding down to caress his slender waist. At this point, even if his head still remained clear, Fei Du’s lower part had responded somewhat. Luo Wenzhou, while still lapping on the marks he’d left all over the other’s neck, causing the younger man to writhe, violently yanked off Fei Du’s trousers and let them fall to the floor.

“Ah-!”

It was like an electric shock suddenly ran through his spine. With the tender flesh between his legs enclasped within Luo Wenzhou’s warm hand, the heat rapidly seeped into his nerves, causing his hips to jolt. Those calloused fingers were rough to the touch and the friction they caused with each stroke almost made him lose control of his voice. Even during the most passionate sex, Fei Du was usually able to maintain a clear head throughout the act, but this time he could tell that something was different. He wasn’t yet able to put his words into it when he realized what Luo Wenzhou was about to do next.

Dread suddenly washed over him like a bucket of cold water.

“Wait… Wait a min-” Fei Du’s voice stuck in his throat as he felt two fingers enter him from behind before he could even finish speaking, “Darling… Darling, don’t rush. It’s been a while. If you do it like that, I- Uhh… I won’t be able to take it in.”

Although he could say that his body had long adapted and adjusted itself to receive this person, they had been apart for a month so an intercourse wouldn’t be as easy. The strange thing was, Luo Wenzhou was usually the one most aware of this. Fei Du could handle a little pain, but Luo Wenzhou always insisted on treating him gently, taking so much care and precaution on every occasion. Their pace was steady, never once been rough. Right now, however, Fei Du felt as though he was truly about to be devoured by a wild beast. And he realized that despite having smiled and coaxed him into speaking casually, perhaps the state of Luo Wenzhou’s mind was still not yet right.

In fact, when he thought about it, his usually talkative shixiong hadn’t been saying anything since they started.

“Wenzhou… Wenzhou, seriously, sl- slow down...a little bit. Y-You’re going to fast-”

Luo Wenzhou looked like he turned a deaf ear, like his eyes were clouded until he could not discern anymore what was in front of him, as if he was completely trapped in his own world. Fei Du could not take it anymore. His breathless gasps shattered all the words he wanted to speak. His long legs struggled to break free, but the invading stimulation was too much, they ended up kicking the bed and the air randomly as he clutched onto Luo Wenzhou’s arms to no avail. Perhaps, after all this time, he had grown accustomed to Luo Wenzhou’s gentle pace, to the sensation of pleasure building up gradually instead of coming all at once. Right now, on the contrary, pleasure came pouring mercilessly from his lower half, quickly building up heat at the pit of his stomach and causing blood to rush straight to his head.

Fei Du threw his head back; his stifled moans echoed within the otherwise silent bedroom. Just like this, he thought he was about to come, but when he almost reached the edge, it stopped. The sudden loss of touch left him frustrated that he began to squirm impatiently on the bed. Not even three seconds later, nevertheless, he felt a familiar heat pressing against the place that previously had been stirred up by those fingers. Fei Du did not have the chance to see what it was. In the next moment, the entire length of that heat was shoved into him in one go.

He let out a tearful cry.

His half bent legs trembled incessantly. His hips, having grown numb when both his front and back sides were being molested, now completely lost all sense of feeling. White drops trickled from the tip of his member onto his pale stomach, giving his skin an illusion of translucent glisten. As his chest rose and fell heavily along with his exhausted gasps, Fei Du thought he was about to pass out.

Yet his half closed eyes, brimming with tears, flew open in the next second. He wasn’t given a chance to take one little break. Luo Wenzhou had pulled out, then shoved it into him again repeatedly. Fei Du was grabbed by the waist and had no way to escape.

“Wenzhou… Wait, please wait, I just come…”

Luo Wenzhou did not hear him before. It was too optimistic to expect him to listen now. Fei Du had never been fucked so hard, he could feel the inside of his stomach stirring. Through his blurry sight, he looked at the man holding him and saw his handsome face mired with both pain and desperation.

“Fei Du… Fei Du…”

Luo Wenzhou’s voice did not carry with it his usual confidence and self-control. It sounded so vulnerable to the point of nearly breaking. “I dream of your death” - this was what Luo Wenzhou told him just now. Could it be that he was being controlled by the illusions of his dream right now? Truthfully, Fei Du could not think of anything else at the moment, because here, this person was embracing him with such obsession as though terrified that he would disappear if he let go.

It could not go on like this. He had to wake him up and tell him that his nightmares were not real. Fei Du struggled to prop up his body with his elbows, reaching out to the other.

“ Ge …” he called.

Luo Wenzhou still hadn’t heard him. Fei Du held out his trembling hand and tried to touch his face.

“ Ge … S-Slow down,” he pleaded in a feeble voice. When his cold fingers came in contact with the other’s cheek, Luo Wenzhou let out a startled gasp like he had suddenly been doused under a freezing waterfall. His rash movement came into a brief halt. Without wasting another second, Fei Du forced himself up and leaned forward, cupping Luo Wenzhou’s face in his shaking hands. Softly, he kissed the corner of his lips.

He saw those dark eyes narrowed and regain their focus. Reflected in those pupils was his own wretched appearance.

“Fei Du…?”

“ Ge … Slow down...please…” Fei Du’s voice was so thin, the words were barely audible, “I...I can’t take it like this… If you continue, I… I’m going to break…”

Light finally returned to Luo Wenzhou’s sight. When he saw the state that Fei Du was in, panic flashed across his face. Immediately, he held the younger man and laid him down on the bed.

“Fei Du, I-I’m sorry. I lost it halfway through,” Luo Wenzhou scrambled to check on his condition, only becoming calmer once he discovered there was no injury to be found. He caressed Fei Du’s cheek. “Are you alright? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?”

“ Ge , it’s alright...” Fei Du smiled at him, “To see that you want me so much, I couldn’t be happier.”

“You…”

“There’s no rush,” he threw his arms around the other’s back, beckoning him to move closer - which Luo Wenzhou complied to, “You can take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

His peach blossom eyes brought about with them a hint of a smile so sweet it was bewitching. For a brief moment, Luo Wenzhou still seemed to be at loss, perhaps gathering his once dispersed thoughts into one place. The tension in his face slowly subsided, nonetheless. His expression softened. With a little smile pulling the corner of his lips, Luo Wenzhou lowered his head, gently rubbing their noses.

“You’re right…” he said, “You are here, with me. It’s all that matters.”

When their eyes met, Fei Du deliberately blinked and continued staring. Luo Wenzhou understood what he meant. He let out a small laugh, kissing the tip of Fei Du’s nose, then meeting his lips as he wanted.

“This is his loving kiss” - Fei Du thought to himself. Just as he was about to enjoy this soft, delicate exchange, however, the heat that had been temporarily subjugated nudged against his inside without warning. Caught off guard, Fei Du broke away from the kiss with a cry. Luo Wenzhou immediately held him.

“What’s wrong? Does it hurt? Are you in pain?” a look of worry was written all over his face.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Fei Du answered him with a smile that did not look quite like a smile, “It feels good. Darling, you can do me just like this. I’m all yours.”

“...You really…”

“Ah-!”

The familiar, steady pace began to take reign and rubbed the most sensitive part of his inner walls. Fei Du wrapped his legs around Luo Wenzhou’s back, clinging onto him. He no longer cared about stifling his moans. As the pleasure rose, so did the pitch of his voice. Eventually Luo Wenzhou could not stand it anymore.

“Hey, you… Are you doing this on purpose?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Doing, ah-! Doing what on purpose?” Fei Du returned his question. While waiting for an answer, his gasps became more apparent. His hips were rocking in a certain tempo, matching the movement of the thing grinding inside of him.

Of course, now that his head was clear, Luo Wenzhou could easily see through his sweet nonsense. Noticing that the young, rich president had gotten used to his motions, he pulled out almost completely then slammed it back in a little harder. As expected, the unaware Fei Du involuntarily cried. He stared at the officer in a mix of protest and confusion.

“I just realized…” Luo Wenzhou said; his eyes hiding a faint glint of mischief, “It actually doesn’t look so bad.”

“What...doesn’t look so bad?” Fei Du asked, feeling an impending danger in the tone of his voice.

“You know what? I actually quite like your tearful face when you’re overwhelmed with pleasure. Perhaps we should try doing it just a tad bit harder today?”

In that instance, Fei Du felt shivers running down his spine, inciting his brain to abandon all pride and dignity in order to save his life.

“Darling… Darling, please don’t. My body isn’t as sturdy as yours. If you do it like that, I’m really going to break- Ahh! Ge …! Ge , I was wrong, I was wrong! Have some mercy, I can’t--!”

Luo Wenzhou sealed his pleading mouth with his own.

“Don’t worry, honey. You know I would never hurt you,” he licked his canine teeth; both eyes bearing a flicker of deliberate sadism that Fei Du had never noticed before, “You’re going to like it. Trust in my technique.”

For some reason, Fei Du felt like he remembered someone had said that exact same sentence before. However, before he could recall who that fool was, he was already in no state to speak even one coherent word.

The evening grew deeper into the night. The promise that they would bathe together was delayed by many hours late for by the time they were done, both were already too spent to move a muscle; one severely lacked sleep, while the other looked as though his life force had been sucked dry. Somehow, the one who lacked sleep was still able to pull their worn out physiques to the shower, cleaning themselves and then tidying up the crumpled sheets of the bed.

Though, that consumed the last drop of strength still left in his body. For the first time since they started living together, the two of them collectively agreed to skip dinner and decided to just bury themselves under the quilt, no longer thinking about anything else.

Just like that, night came and passed by peacefully.

Luo Wenzhou found himself standing in front of a lavish villa.

The building itself was splendid, but at the same time it gave off a cold air that made the whole place felt unapproachable. It was far from the city center, it was far from many public facilities that would support one’s daily activities. To be honest, Luo Wenzhou could not find any other use for a residence such as this to be built, other than for the owner to flex their wealth.

He approached the gate and tried to open it. Surprisingly, it was not locked; the sturdy metal gate allowed him entry without much resistance. Luo Wenzhou stepped into the villa’s entrance. Albeit looking magnificent in terms of architecture, there was not even one blade of grass growing at the front yard. The house was austere and lifeless, making one wonder just what kind of person could stand living here.

When that thought had just risen into his mind, Luo Wenzhou lifted his face and noticed something - someone - sitting on the steps of the terrace. It was a young boy in his adolescence, at most fifteen years of age. His stark black hair glimmered under the sun, a pair of glasses covered his lovely peach blossom eyes. Yet despite his beautiful appearance, the boy gave off a cold, unapproachable aura - just like the house itself.

At that moment, their eyes met. He did not know what incited him to do so; without thinking, Luo Wenzhou held out his hand towards that boy. The adolescence looked at him for a while, but in the end, he did not take his extended hand. Luo Wenzhou watched as the boy walked passed him, out of the villa’s gate and to the world outside.

He decided to follow that boy.

On the first step, he saw the boy growing somewhat taller. He still looked skinny and delicate, carrying his school bag and books of homeworks in his hands.

On the second step, he saw the teenager already matured a little bit; his childlike features receding while the face of a young adult began to take root in his appearance.

On the third step, he saw the boy eating skewers by the side of the street. He finished one and did not get another, instead immersing his concentration in a portable game machine. For some reason, that device looked extremely familiar to Luo Wenzhou, but he did not know why. He only thought that the boy did not fit in with the surrounding crowds, his lone figure detached from everyone else.

With each and every single step, he saw the boy grow up into a fine-looking young adult. He graduated high school, he studied and graduated university, he took over his family’s business and became the president of a massive conglomerate with a mountain of assets that no normal person could even imagine to attain in their entire lifetime.

On the seventh step, the boy - now a gorgeous young man - stood with his back facing him. Despite his growth, despite his success, his lonesome figure still did not change. He was hiding his true self under layers and layers of pretense, each skin perfectly established to face and deal with different types of people, but to Luo Wenzhou, the pitiful adolescence that he first saw in that estranged villa still remained.

Once again, he held out his hand, hoping that this time he could finally reach him, to let him know that he does not need to face everything alone.

But just when the tip of his fingers were about to touch those thin shoulders, the young man’s figure shattered into countless little lights like some fairy dust before disappearing into the air. Luo Wenzhou stood petrified, watching at how the tiny glows vanished before his very eyes.

At that moment, he felt someone hugged him from behind; a pair of slender arms and pretty long fingers with well-trimmed nails wrapping around his body. This person gently rested his chin on his shoulder, and from the corner of his eyes, Luo Wenzhou could see a familiar smile waiting for him should he decide to turn around.

He did not need to, however. Even without having to look at that person’s face, in his heart Luo Wenzhou felt like he already knew who it was.

As if capable of reading his mind, that person spoke in his ears - his voice soft and pleasant.

“Darling, you’ve caught me.”

- END -

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