Chapter Text
The castle shook as hulking stone golem stomped toward Princess Daisy, cracking his knuckles.
“Hand over the crown, Daisy!” he said. “It’s MY turn to be princess!”
“Ugggh!” Daisy groaned and slumped across her throne. This was the third time this month this idiot barged into her palace to challenge her.
“Just go home Hiyohoi!” she said. “Only the best of the best gets to be princess!”
“Yeah!” he shouted, slamming a thumb into his chest. “And that’s why it’s gotta be ME!”
Hiyohoi was a tottering granite maoi head in pointed sunglasses and spiked armbands who loved to throw his weight around. Daisy wanted to throw the idiot out, but he happened to be the leader of Easton, one of the four kingdoms of Sarsaland that made up her domain. There was no way to get rid of him without causing a scandal.
“You think you got the guts to be princess?” Daisy said. “Last I checked you need more than an out-of-control ego to do this job.”
“Funny,” Hiyohoi said. “I wouldn’t know it from watchin’ YOU.”
Daisy’s father doddered into the middle of the argument with his hands held out for peace.
“Now, now! There is no need for such bickering! Daisy has done a fine job as princess!”
Hiyohoi scoffed. “Yeah, sure. SUCH a good job. You know we look like a joke, right? The Mushroom Kingdom’s got more money and statues and bigger buildings too! With jobs in them! Probably! Next to all that we’re a third-rate nowhere nation! And it’s all thanks to our CURRENT princess here!”
Daisy got out of her chair, blood boiling at the comparison. “HEY! I’m working with what I’ve got here! We’re TINY compared to Toadstool’s empire! And hey, last time I checked? Tourism is UP!”
“Barely.” Hiyohoi shook his head in disgust. “Maybe we’d be doing better as a kingdom if you weren’t off wasting your time racing go-karts and playing sports.”
“Alright, now I know you’re trying to tick me off,” Daisy said. “You know the law, pebble brain! The greatest champion in Sarsaland rules the realm! That’s the Divine Right of Princess! I win competitions to PROVE I’m worthy to wear this crown! Unlike you.”
Hiyohoi smirked. “Is that so?”
He snapped his fingers and the door of the throne room burst open. In marched a parade of tokotoko, stone soldiers, each carrying a gold trophy for a variety of sporting events.
“Read ‘em and weep, ‘Princess,’” he said.
Daisy descended the dais of her throne to examine the trophies. She flicked the metal, counted them, and checked the plaques for any obvious forgery.
“There was an arm-wrestling tournament?!” Daisy said, feeling robbed. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?!”
Hiyohoi’s smug expression hinted at subterfuge. It appeared the little king managed to find every obscure competition Daisy overlooked and kept that knowledge hidden from her. There was a foosball trophy, a ribbon for placing first in tiddlywinks, a hanafuda card tournament trophy, and a certificate announcing Hiyohoi as the winner for a national elementary school spelling bee, among other things. The most notable was a power moon awarded for placing first in the Shiverian Bounding Bowl.
“That’s twenty from this year,” Daisy said in disbelief. “Huh. That means you’re tied with me.”
Hiyohoi recoiled. “Wait, what?! When did you hit twenty?!”
Daisy snapped her own fingers. Nokobon turtle servants scurried in with her own collection of much larger and more impressive awards. “I just got back from that fencing tourney last week.”
Hiyohoi grimaced at her accolades in disappointment.
“Whatever. So we’re tied. That just means it’ll be put to a vote at the Council Meeting next week.”
“Oh? You think the other kings will vote for YOU?” Daisy laughed. “Bring it on, blockhead.”
Hiyohoi sneered as he stormed out the throne room with his trophies in tow. “Just wait! You won’t be laughing when I’M the one wearing that dress.”
The doors of the throne room slid shut and Daisy felt the first itch of a panic attack. There was no way the other kings would vote for her. Granted, she brave, beautiful, cunning, and could double jump, but her diplomacy skills needed work. It would be easier to be polite to the kings if there was more than a couple brain cells between the four of them.
“This is bad,” she said.
“Oh my,” her father said. He had the fearful look of a man a little too comfortable with his silk robes and bulging waistline to consider life outside the palace. “What’re you going to do, Daisy?”
Daisy climbed back up to her throne and sat, fingers locked in thought.
“If that overgrown lawn ornament thinks he can win a few tournaments and steal my crown, he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.” She turned towards the nearest nokobon, a pink-shelled bomb-turtle maid. “Bring me The Magazines.”
The servant scrambled out of the room and back, toting a stack of all the most recent game and sporting periodicals. Daisy thumbed through them, checking every event calendar for every Kingdom. All she had to do was win another tournament or two before the council meeting and there would be nothing to discuss. She was not about to let anyone hold a bigger high score.
She chucked the first few useless magazines aside. Everything was already over or else scheduled too far out. She grew anxious as the stack of magazines dwindled down to the last one.
“Here!” Daisy smacked the issue of Royal Academy Quarterly with the back of her hand. It was a full-page ad for a Celebrity Heroes Tennis Tournament for Charity. “I found it!”
She dropped the magazine as she made a break for the door. Father bent over to pick it up.
“Found what?” he said, oblivious. “Where are you going?”
“Marina Stadium!”