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Mark stared blankly at his phone languishing on the tiled floor, its screen shattered. As he stooped to retrieve it, praying he wouldn’t get a cut, someone walked into the bathroom. Instinctively, Mark looked up, embarrassed.
“Oh, it’s you,” he muttered when he recognized Donghyuck.
“Is that your phone?” His best friend asked, clearly holding back laughter.
“Uh, yeah,” Mark tried to rescue the device again, this time succeeding in actually picking it up.
“Why did you throw it on the ground?”
“I did not throw it!” Mark brayed. Yes, brayed – when Mark felt particularly inconvenienced, he could be rather donkey-like. Or as Johnny would say ~asinine~. “I dropped it. By accident.”
Donghyuck snorted, “Sure. How’d you manage to do that?”
“Well, I was going to wash my hands and then the phone buzzed, and I was scared shitless because I had forgotten that I had turned vibrate back on so when it buzzed, I was shocked, you know?” Donghyuck nodded in a thoroughly unconvincing way. “Anyway, I went to grab it immediately, but my hands were still kinda wet so, yeah…” Mark began contemplating his wounded phone dejectedly. Again.
“Holy shit, dude,” Donghyuck sounded genuinely shocked as if Mark’s life wasn’t defined by the tiny intervals between one mishap and the next. “You all right? You sound more wound up than my mom gets when she’s on the phone with customer service.”
Mark blinked, “What about your mom?”
Donghyuck huffed, “Are you even listening to me or are you just trying to a summon a few tears for your phone?”
“I’m not crying! I’m just mad – this phone wasn’t even that old.”
“Mark, that is an iPhone fucking seven. SEVEN! Do you know how many generations ago that was? Five. Your phone’s fucking ancient. I say, good riddance.”
“I like it though. I don’t really want to get a new one.”
“The universe doesn’t agree. It’s telling you to get a new one.”
“Didn’t you come in here to pee?” Mark asked, recalling that they were in fact standing in the middle of the school bathroom.
“Yeah, but I got distracted by you and your fossil.” Donghyuck pushed passed Mark, almost making him drop the phone again, and stepped into one of the stalls. “You better wait from me,” he said as he closed the door.
“What if I don’t wanna listen to you pee?”
“Too bad.”
Mark sighed, holding his phone very close to his face so he could examine the extent of the cracks on its surface. Verdict: so many, very deep. When Donghyuck exited the stall, Mark was in the middle of wrapping the phone in toilet paper.
“Lee, the fuck you doing?” Donghyuck turned on the tap to wash his hands, lathering them generously with soap. We stan a clean boy.
“I’m bandaging it so I can put it in my pocket and not get cut,” he explained. “I’ve got to get it back to class and if the hall monitor sees me holding it you know he’ll go ape-shit.”
“You’ll be walking with me so that’s inevitable. Toilet paper or not.” Which was true. Donghyuck had long since endeared every lunch person and traumatized every hall monitor. (“They’re fucking c*ps.”)
“Who says I’m walking with you?” Mark had fully intended to accompany Donghyuck back to their respective classrooms, but now that Donghyuck had the audacity to clown him he’d have to at least act like he had a mind of his own and not a codependency issue in sight.
“Me.” Donghyuck grasped Mark’s bicep and pulled him into the hall, only letting go once he was sure Mark wouldn’t try to bolt. “It would be boring to walk back alone. And you might do something stupid, like get hit by some kid opening their locker. I have to protect you.”
Mark scrunched up his nose in confusion, “But there aren’t even any students opening their lockers right now. Everyone’s in class.”
“You’re just enough of a fool to have that happen to you at any time.” Donghyuck patted Mark’s shoulder in mock reassurance and Mark shrugged away from him.
“Something I find amazing is that even after all these years you still have the energy to be so mean to me.”
“Are you kidding? Roasting you is the literal reason for my existence. It’s like photosynthesis for me,” Donghyuck exclaimed. Loudly. Mark checked to see if they had a tail yet. Still clear.
“I’m sure that made sense in your head, Hyuck, but what the hell are you trying to say?”
“God, you’re so dumb. I live to clown you, asshat. Okay?”
“That seems like a poor life choice.”
“It wasn’t a choice!”
“Why do I feel like we’re getting at a deeper issue here?”
“Mark, you literally already know I’m gay and so does everyone else. Shut the fuck up.” Donghyuck scoffed as he mouthed the words ‘deeper issue.’
“So mean. Incredibly mean,” Mark lamented and Donghyuck shoved him before taking a hard right into his classroom, leaving Mark to continue onto his own where he sat at his desk, hyper-focusing on the smudge of chalk on his teacher’s face and worrying about getting a new phone. When the bell rang, he nearly had a heart attack but managed to pack up his bag and yeet to his next class in time to chat to Jeno before the teacher began the lesson.
“Dude, you won’t believe what happened. I broke my phone!” Mark tossed his bag on the ground and a bunch of pens fell out, causing him to scramble after them before they rolled under the heating unit.
“No, actually I find that very believable,” Jeno deadpanned.
“I swear, I’m really unlucky today.” Mark finally took his seat, pushing his hair off of his forehead.
Jeno crooked one eyebrow. “Are you sure it’s just today?”
“I mean, no. But like today it’s especially bad.”
“RIP. Is it reparable?”
“My luck or the phone?” Mark took out his notebook and scribbled the date on the heading of a new page.
“I already know what your luck’s chances are. The phone.”
Mark shook his head. “I don’t think so. Pretty sure I’m gonna just have to buy another one.”
“That’s a fat L. Maybe you can get one of those refurbished ones? I hear they’re pretty cheap.”
“Yeah. That’s if I survive my parents’ wrath when they find out.”
“Are your parents really that strict or do you just like using the word ‘wrath’?” Jeno chuckled when Mark grimaced at him and pointedly looked way.
“I seriously need to begin rethinking my choice of friends,” he murmured, grateful when the teacher clapped to gain everyone’s attention, preventing Jeno from responding.
Mark was just as zombie-like in this class as the previous one. As a senior, he experienced less motivation with each day. He’d already been accepted into four schools but please, please, please do not ask him about that. He was having more difficulty than he’d ever had with a decision before. At least once a week he’d convince himself that he’d made up his mind and then some memory would come back to him or he’d think of some contingency and boom! INDECISION RESURRECTED!!!
The teacher dismissed them five minutes early and Mark followed Jeno out to the buses. Donghyuck and Jeno’s definitely-not-under-no-circumstances-boyfriend Jaemin joined them as they passed through the front entrance of the school. Jaemin immediately snuggled himself under Jeno’s right arm and Donghyuck flicked Mark’s cheek.
“Howdy, flatty?”
“Flatty?” Mark squawked, affronted beyond words.
“Your head. It’s flat as fuck. Thus: flatty.”
Mark ran his hand over the back of his skull, frowning. “It’s not that flat! Can’t you ever say anything nice to me, Hyuck?”
“No. Would you even know how to react if I did?”
“I would like to at least have the opportunity to try!”
“Denied. Try again in three to five business days.”
“You’re like a mosquito. Super annoying and you never go away.”
Jeno cast Mark an impressed look over his shoulder. “Gotta hand it to you – that was half decent.”
“Definitely better than flatty,” Jaemin added. Donghyuck, dismayed by the display of disloyalty, flipped them both off and cuffed Mark’s ear.
“You human-shaped turds don’t deserve my heavenly presence. I really have no idea why I ever thought to grace you with it.”
“Oh no, Hyuck is getting preachy,” Jeno said. “Come on, Nana, we gotta book it.” Perfectly in sync the boys broke into a run and clambered onto their bus, one after the other. Donghyuck hissed and glanced at Mark daringly.
“Don’t make me give you malaria, bitch.” Which made Mark laugh. And then Donghyuck started laughing and Mark started losing it because Donghyuck was so, so unbearably beautiful when he laughed. Whipped culture, gentlefolks.
Because whipped is what Mark was. Whipped like mashed potatoes or cream or horses when they don’t go fast enough. And none of it was new. Mark’s very unplatonic love for his best friend was old news. Well, to him, at least. He’d never actually told anyone else how he felt. He couldn’t tell his parents – they didn’t know he was bi, and he’d be the last person to tell them. Okay, that made no sense. Bottom-line: coming out wasn’t happening until he could at the very least think about it without having a mental breakdown. And if he told his other friends about his crush it would take exactly 1.27 seconds for them to tell Donghyuck.
Yeah, he’d rather drink bleach. With a Tide pod chaser.
On the bus, he and Donghyuck settled at the back. One of them in each rearmost seat. Donghyuck immediately pulled out a small speaker and put the Bohemian Rhapsody soundtrack on shuffle. At full blast. Fortuitously, the driver was chill and let Donghyuck do whatever he wanted. Though Donghyuck would likely have done whatever he wanted anyway. Mark could never tell if adults who interacted with Donghyuck were actually calm or just resigned.
The bus arrived at their stop just as Mark and Donghyuck finished a very loud, enthusiastic, and surprisingly on key sing-along to ‘Radio Gaga.’ Everyone was either in hysterics or plotting their own untimely demise. Mark hopped down onto the sidewalk in front of their homes and debated asking Donghyuck to spend the afternoon with him.
“McFly, why are you just standing there? Forgot how to use your legs?”
“I’m thinking,” Mark protested.
“Oh, you can’t think and walk at the same time?”
“You know, I was gonna tell you to come over to my place to hang but you’re being so unnecessary right now so I don’t think I will.”
“You’ve thought your thought now. Can you walk again?”
“I never stopped being able to.”
“Okay, good. Let’s go.”
“Why are you heading towards my house?”
“How else am I supposed to get there, dumbass?”
“I just said I didn’t want you to come over.”
“And?”
Mark didn’t even consider arguing further. He just stared at his feet, drew in a long breath, and pushed his key into the lock of the front door. Inside, they were greeted by Mark’s golden retriever, Watermelon, who attacked Donghyuck with affection after giving Mark a mere sniff.
“Why is it that literally everyone loves you more than they love me?” Mark dumped his shoes into the shoe tray and dragged himself into the living room, throwing himself down on the couch.
“Easy. I’m infinitely more lovable.”
“You’re easily the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah, but I’m also lovable.” Donghyuck dug his fingers into Mark’s sides, making him squeal and leap a foot into the air.
“You follow me into my house, uninvited, and then, abuse! You’re a criminal!”
“The only thing I am is criminally good-looking.”
Mark rolled over and tried to suffocate himself with a decorative pillow. Donghyuck then sat on Mark’s back and almost caused him to actually suffocate. He only got off of him when Mark played dead.
So, Donghyuck did have a soul. Maybe.
“Yo, what’s good, my dudelings?” Johnny strolled into the room, holding a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips.
“Could you please choose literally any other name for us? Something that doesn’t make me ashamed to be related to you preferably.” Mark often wondered why he still made reasonable requests as though the very unreasonable people around him would listen.
“I’m ashamed to be related to you on the daily, but do you see me bitching?” Johnny popped a chip into his mouth, chewing it judgmentally. When he did that, he reminded Mark so much of their dad. He was pretty sure that if both Johnny and their father did it at the exact same time, Mark would simply pass away. He was no match for multi-generational disappointment.
“Hey!” Donghyuck cried. “Only I can bully Mark!”
“Excuse you?” Johnny sat on one of the two armchairs in the room and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “He’s my little brother, last time I checked. Which means I called dibs when he was born. Back off, youth.”
“I hate you,” Donghyuck said evenly. “Give me a chip.” He opened his mouth and, somehow, Johnny made a shot and didn’t miss. Mark watched, a little stupefied, as they howled over their success. He thought about trying to cover his ears but then remembered that if he lost the ability to hear he wouldn’t have to listen to them anymore.
“Why are you home so early?” Mark asked when his brother and friend finally got ahold of themselves. “Don’t you usually stay on campus until later?”
“To be perfectly honest, I was craving these chips and while I could have just bought a bag there, that would have meant spending money and making an extra trip to the convenience store. And you know how I feel about that place ever since the rat attacked me when I was tryna leave after buying aspirin at like 3 in the morning.”
“Yeah, I still can’t believe you were attacked by a rat,” Mark replied. “Rats aren’t even that big.”
“Have you ever been attacked by one? No. You haven’t. You don’t know what it’s like. Your life flashes before your eyes.” Johnny shivered theatrically.
“Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,” Donghyuck chimed in. “How’s Taeil?”
Mark winced. Taeil was Johnny’s closest friend – also since childhood – and Donghyuck seemed to be nothing if not obsessed with him. Well, maybe obsessed was a bit extreme. But he definitely liked Taeil a lot because he always asked after him and he liked all of Taeil’s posts on Instagram and one time they’d sung a duet together for the talent show back when Donghyuck was just a freshman and Donghyuck had never prepared more thoroughly for anything in his life. So, as much as Mark adored Taeil as the older brother he wished he had, he couldn’t help but perceive him as...competition. Again, an exaggeration because no one knew Mark was even in this race but himself.
“Tae-Tae is just dandy. He aced all his midterms, of fucking course, so he’s glowing.” Johnny rolled his eyes. “Fucker.”
“You could be glowing too if you would just freaking study.” Mark always found it weird that he was the more disciplined of the two of them and was ever in a state of admonishing his brother for his slacker shit. Although, of late, Mark was falling more and more into bad habits himself. He had least three overdue assignments and two more deadlines rapidly approaching.
“I’m too old to study.” Johnny chucked the crumpled chip bag, now licked clean, at Donghyuck. The younger boy didn’t even bother ducking, he just let the bag hit him and dissolved into fake sobs. Neither Johnny nor Mark paid him any mind.
“Try subbing in ‘lazy’ for ‘old.’” Mark supposed he kind of deserved the slipper Johnny launched at him. That being said, he’d do everything precisely the same again. Johnny must not be permitted too much power.
“Is Taeil gonna come visit soon?” Donghyuck remained steadfast in the pursuit of his agenda. Mark wanted to slap him. Could he at least take his disgusting ass puppy love elsewhere?
“You know you can just go see him at school, right? He’s told you that multiple times.”
Donghyuck pouted. “I know but it’s so far away and hard to get to since I can’t drive.” He looked over meaningfully at Mark, who glowered at him in return.
“Don’t you dare bring up what I know you’re about to bring up.” Mark attempted to seem as threatening as possible but ended up just sounding constipated.
“What? That you failed your driving test?” Johnny never missed a chance to stir the pot. He loved pot stirring. He was like the king of all pot stirrers. One pot stirrer to rule them all—wait, no, stop. Too nerdy.
“You suck!” Mark couldn’t think of anything more eloquent to say because he was too busy reliving the horrors of his driving test. And, thus, his irksome lack of a license. He’d been so certain he would do well that when he absolutely bombed, he was flabbergasted. The way his mom told it, she had to basically carry him out of the DMV. Definitely in the top ten worst moments of his life. He wanted to snuff out any and all recollections of the day, but Johnny mentioned it just frequently enough for Mark to never forget it.
Whoever invented siblings must have quite literally been Satan. Mark would like to submit a request that – whoever they were – they hurry up and uninvent them.
“Shouldn’t you have assloads of homework to do?” Johnny got up and retrieved his slipper. Mark took advantage of his brief proximity to swat at his leg. Johnny yelped and threw his slipper again.
“Stop throwing things!” Mark demanded. “How is it that you go from mothering us to an irritating toddler in ten seconds?”
“It’s called talent. Which you wouldn’t know about since by the time mom and dad got around to having you there wasn’t any left.”
Donghyuck imitated sizzling sounds with his mouth and high-fived Johnny while Mark considered the possibility of fleeing to another country in order to avoid ever coming in contact with either of them again.
“Come on, Hyuck. Let’s just go to my room.”
As they made their way towards the staircase, Johnny called after them. “Be safe, kids.”
Mark hated when Johnny said things like that. Because 1) he was afraid Donghyuck might take Johnny’s hints seriously and 2) they always conjured up visions Mark sometimes had of Donghyuck that he very much did not want to think about. Which would make him blush and then Donghyuck would look at him funny and Mark would mentally start picking out which gravestone he’d like to have.
He ignored the comment, just as he always did. Although maybe ‘ignore’ was a bit of a stretch. What really happened was that he’d always be so flustered by what Johnny said that he’d become incapable of forming any sort of coherent response in a timely manner.
Mark’s room wasn’t really clean or dirty. Almost everything had its space and there were only a few pieces of clothing on the floor. And the bed was unmade. But, on the whole, it wasn’t too bad. He knew for a fact that it was world’s better than the dumpster Donghyuck chose to live in. Mark would always insist that they hang out in his room rather than Donghyuck’s entirely because he was genuinely scared of what he might find in there. The cure for cancer? A two-headed mouse? That Bieber sweatshirt he’d lost a few years back and was almost sure Donghyuck had stolen? Who knows? Not Mark. Never Mark. Mark valued his life.
“Have you finished the project for physics yet?” Donghyuck enquired, probably so he could then ask to paraphrase Mark’s report. Donghyuck was almost painfully intelligent but he had little or no interest in schoolwork. (“I will not let the capitalist system win.”) However, even he could not escape the inexorability of The Grade. Or rather, the need for The Grade in order to participate in The Graduation. So, whenever he needed something remotely academic, he just pestered Mark until Mark caved and helped him.
Yes, Mark’s whipped. We’ve been over that.
“I was just gonna work on it now. Lemme guess: you haven’t even started yours yet.”
“Not true. I wrote my name.”
“That doesn’t count.” Mark booted up his laptop and scooched back into his pillows. Donghyuck draped himself across the bed – which was actually just a mattress on the floor – his computer resting on the floor and his arms hanging down to type. Mark had no idea how that could possibly be comfortable but after all this is Hyuck we’re talking about and very little that he did made any sort of sense. Which begs the question: why was Mark even bothering? In fact, why did Mark ever bother?
“Can you just show me what you have so I can copy it so poorly that Ms. Kang bursts into tears while she passes me anyway because I bought her Expo markers once, and now she thinks of herself as eternally in debt?”
“Have you ever considered that you might be a psychopath?”
“No, but you clearly have and yet you’re still friends with me. You even let me into your bed.”
“I didn’t let you in. You basically broke into my house.”
“No, I didn’t. Besides you literally told me to come with you to your room just now. You might have the memory of a goldfish, Mark, but it’s not that bad.”
“Do you want to see my report or not?” Mark pushed his laptop towards Donghyuck and closed his eyes, wishing he could just take a nap instead of attending to his ever-increasing pile of homework. He listened to the soothing sound of Donghyuck typing and fought with himself over whether or not to complete his math study guide while he waited.
“You make the weirdest spelling errors,” Donghyuck said, switching over to Mark’s device so he could correct the typos.
“Sorry?” Mark cracked his eyes open slightly. Just in time to see Donghyuck grin at him.
“Don’t be. They’re cute.” Then he went back to finger-punching his keyboard.
Mark was glad he was already lying down because that came out of left fucking field and took all the air out of him. Donghyuck rarely said nice things to him. And even more rarely flirty things. This rarity was part of the reason why Mark would take his love to the grave with him. He had next to no indication that Donghyuck reciprocated.
Deciding he needed a distraction, Mark rummaged around in his backpack for the math study packet. He got through a whole two problems in the time it took for Donghyuck to finish plagiarizing his physics project. He handed Mark his laptop and moved up on the bed in order to sit beside him. His customary spot. The two of them were like fucking Sims, seated on the bed, staring at their screens. Nightmarish.
But this was the only way Mark got work done. In his room, with Donghyuck at arm’s reach. Mark often worried how he’d accomplish anything in university unless he and Donghyuck attended the same one. But so far Donghyuck had only gotten into the same school as Johnny went to and Mark wasn’t sure if he wanted to go to school with his older brother. He wanted to do his own thing and never hear the words “oh, are you Johnny Seo-Lee’s little brother?” ever again.
He wasn’t even close to making up his mind, especially because he had three other choices and the turmoil was eating him up inside. Or maybe that was the acid reflux because he drank way too much coffee. Hard to tell.
“When you think that loud, it fucking deafens me.” Donghyuck had closed his laptop and was gazing at Mark expectantly.
“Sorry, just thinking about things again.”
“Do you mean worrying?” Donghyuck smirked.
“Sure.”
“Damn, sounds like you need to get good.” Donghyuck opened his computer again, logging into Club Penguin and feeding his 11 yellow Puffles.
“Wow, thanks for the support, Hyuck.”
“Anytime, on your Mark.”
“Why do you have to make me regret my IG handle on a daily basis?”
“Because it’s hilarious. Also, you could change it, but you don’t. Which means you must secretly like the teasing.” Now Donghyuck was walking the Puffles, all of whom were named George.
“I know you want to believe I’m a masochist, but I’m really not.” Even Mark didn’t believe half the things he said anymore. He wasn’t even lying – he was just manifesting more stability in his life than was already present. Which was none. His life was like a fucking seesaw. One of those ones that hit the ground really, really hard and likely endangered your reproductive capabilities.
Johnny busted his way into Mark’s room, nearly knocking the door off its hinges. “Hello, hello. Dinner’s ready. Mom made beef bulgogi.”
“Speak no further,” Donghyuck said. Flinging his laptop into Mark’s dirty clothes hamper, he ran straight into Johnny, sending the taller man flying out into the corridor. Mark was pretty sure he heard something fall and smash. He was shocked there was even anything left in this house to damage. Between him, Johnny, and Donghyuck everything that could be torn, crushed, burned, or broken had been. To this day, their mother only bought pre-owned items because she knew she’d be replacing them in a matter of weeks. At most. If she brought Mark with her to Goodwill, something would always fail to make it to the car intact.
Mark and Johnny’s father was on a business trip for the next week, so it was only the four of them at the table. Donghyuck sat next to their mother, chatting to her sweetly. Lee Goeun was the only member of the family that Donghyuck treated with any respect. In a way, it was heartwarming. Mark’s heart was warmed. His face was also warmed. He was blushing. Delightful. Maybe nobody would notice.
“Mark, why do you look like a tomato?” Maybe not.
Goeun looked up from her meal to inspect him and Mark avoided her eyes, shoving a particularly large piece of meat into his mouth to have something to focus on. And to inhibit his ability to unleash a string of curses at his so-called friend.
“That’s just Mark’s natural complexion, Hyuck. He’s always angsting about something and it shows.”
“Youngho, you’re twenty-one. Could you possibly bring yourself to act your age and stop antagonizing your brother?” Goeun’s tone suggested this was at least her eight hundredth time making a similar reprimand.
“Ugh, mom, why you gotta go and use my Korean name like that, huh?” Johnny waved his chopsticks around for emphasis, sending a grain of rice into Mark’s eye.
“Why you gotta go and hurl your dinner at me?” Mark asked, rubbing at his eye with his napkin which was probably making things worse, but he thought it would be more effective to pretend he was suffering.
“Maybe if you were more aware of your surroundings that wouldn’t have happened to you,” Johnny shot back.
“What? What??? I’m supposed to sit here expecting a rice kernel to the eyeball at every moment?”
“Yes,” Johnny, Donghyuck, and Goeun said at the exact same time. Mark saw now that he was trapped in a room of filthy fucking traitors. Damn, even his mom wasn’t on his side anymore.
“On that note, I’ll just excuse myself then. If I’m not here, you can’t hurt me with projectile food stuffs.” Mark pushed back his chair and cleared his place, toting the dishes to the kitchen. Donghyuck was hot at his heels, carrying both Goeun’s plates and his own.
“Why are you such a sour puss, Canada?” Donghyuck dug a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and set it on the table, fetching two bowls and the scoop next. He doled out two generous portions of strawberry ice cream and propped a spoon in each. “Take. We’re watching a movie.”
“I still have work to do though.”
“Do it after the movie.” Donghyuck was eating the ice cream in entirely too sensuous a manner. He wasn’t sure if Donghyuck was doing it on purpose, but it was driving Mark mad.
“No. After the movie I wanna go to bed.”
“Then I guess you’re doing it tomorrow.” Why the fuck was Donghyuck licking the empty spoon???
“But it’s due tomorrow, Hyuck!”
“Boo, you whore.”
“Fuck off, Regina George. What movie do you want to watch?”
Donghyuck shook his head. “No, no, I was kidding. Do your homework, schoolboy.”
Mark brought his ice cream back to his room and ate it while pretending like he was doing the reading for English. Donghyuck hadn’t followed him so he figured he was off harassing Johnny or asking Goeun if she wanted to go to the botanical gardens with him. Mark wanted to go with Donghyuck some time, but Donghyuck never asked him. Maybe he thought Mark would say no. But how could he know Mark would say yes unless Mark told him? And then Mark might as well just ask himself. Brilliant idea that. Except, no. Mark was way too much of a chicken shit.
“Your mom says I can stay over,” Donghyuck informed him from the doorway.
“But it’s a week-night.” Mark had finally managed to begin reading in earnest and was bristling at Donghyuck’s at least 76% unwelcome intrusion.
“Does that mean you don’t want me to stay?”
“What? No! I’m just surprised. Mom’s usually a stickler about that, even with you. What’d you bribe her with?”
“Why are you always so quick to accuse me of employing underhanded methods?”
Mark summoned his most exasperated facial expression. “Really, Hyuck?”
“Fine. I told her I would sing for her.”
“What? You still do that? Singing, I mean.” Mark was baffled. He hadn’t heard Donghyuck sing since the musical he was in sophomore year.
“Yes, of course I do. You think I’d let this angelic voice go to waste?”
“Mm. Speaking of singing, I’ve been trying to write again. It’s not working. I’ve written at least 23 drafts in the last two months and nothing is good. It’s like I’m missing something.”
“Write something for me.” Donghyuck’s face held an emotion Mark wasn’t sure he’d seen before.
“What?”
“Write a song for me to sing. Maybe it will help to have a voice to suit it to.”
Donghyuck was still leaning against the door frame and Mark hurriedly beckoned to him. “I can try. Do you have something specific you want to sing about?”
“Love.”
For a second or two, Mark’s brain froze rock solid. He couldn’t say anything, and he couldn’t stop staring. He almost had to smack himself back into reality.
“Uh, okay. Sure. That it?”
“Yup. You interpret it how you like!” Donghyuck began tearing off his clothes and throwing them every which way around Mark’s room, climbing under the covers and spreading himself out like a starfish.
Mark changed more slowly, went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and discovered Donghyuck in the very same position when he came back.
“You can’t sleep like that. Where am I supposed to lie?”
“On the floor, gutter rat.”
“Was calling me a gutter rat really necessary?”
“Are you really necessary?”
“Just let me into the bed and go wash your teeth, Donghyuck.”
“Oo, you’re using my full name now. Sexy.” Which was the last straw. Mark ripped the bedclothes off the bed and bunched them all up in his arms.
“I’m not putting these back until you get ready for bed properly and keep your bony ass to your side.”
Donghyuck rose begrudgingly and began trudging to the bathroom. “Who are you saying has a bony ass? My ass is way bigger than yours.” Naturally, Donghyuck smacked the body part in question. Mark tried not to think about whether or not Donghyuck would ever let him do that.
Mark was scrolling through his Twitter when Donghyuck came back, ruddy-faced and minty. He got into the bed and glued himself to Mark’s side, shivering dramatically.
“I’m so cold, Markie, warm me up.”
“Warm yourself up.” Mark turned on his side, presenting his back to Donghyuck.
“I can’tttt,” his friend whined, resting his cold palms on Mark’s cotton-clothed back.
“Get your dead fish hands off me right this instant!”
“Turn around and give me body heat and I will.”
“I’d rather have them stay there then.”
“So, you like when I touch you?”
“Lee Donghyuck, do you want to die?”
“No, but if you’re offering, I won’t say no.”
“There is something seriously wrong with you.”
“I’m perfect. You just haven’t adjusted to me yet.”
“If I do, I’ll become just as insane as you are.”
“Mark, you’re already insane.”
“Fair.”
Donghyuck slept over – in Mark’s bed – most weekends. And for the majority of their lives, it had been a lot of fun. Nobody else they knew had sleepovers that often. But now, at eighteen, and with Mark’s disgraceful fucking crush, it was anything but. Well, maybe Donghyuck was still enjoying it, but to Mark it was torture. Lying that close to Donghyuck’s body and not being able to hold him the way he wanted to. Every time, Mark worried he’d wake up in the morning only to find that his subconscious had acted on his poorly suppressed desires and landed him in a heinously embarrassing situation.
So far, he had dodged that bullet. Which did nothing to reassure him because it just seemed like prolonging the inevitable.
When he was awakened by his alarm clock the following morning, he let out an audible sigh of relief. Donghyuck was on the other side of the bed. Still asleep. Homie could sleep through a fucking hurricane. Mark batted the sleep out of his eyes and shook him, pretty violently.
“Was there a death in the family or is it just morning?” Donghyuck rolled over, further knotting his hair – already a considerable tangle – and extending his arms up over his head.
“You say the weirdest shit, man,” Mark replied, searching for a relatively clean pair of cargo pants. “It’s morning.”
“How unfortunate.”
“Mood. At least it’s Friday.”
Donghyuck was suddenly fully awake. “Oh my god, it’s Friday. Mark, give me my phone.”
“Your phone is right there on your nightstand which is, you guessed it, closer to you than me.”
Scrambling for the phone, Donghyuck unlocked it and seconds later The Cure’s ‘Friday I’m in Love’ came pouring out of its tinny speakers.
Mark groaned, “D’you have to do this every Friday?”
“Yes. I can pick a different Friday song. We could listen to Rebecca Black. Would you like the OG version or the remix?”
“Good god, no. Please just turn everything off, it’s way too early for this shit.”
“Says the idiot who woke me up.”
“I woke you up because we have school!” Mark left for the bathroom where he angrily washed his face, angrily brushed his teeth, and angrily critiqued his reflection in the mirror. “Why’s my nose so little?” he asked what he thought was only himself.
“I wonder that myself.” Donghyuck body-checked Mark out of the way so he could put in his contacts and brush his own teeth. “I think every other part of your body grew but your nose got stunted.”
“Why do you have to wake up every morning and choose violence?”
“Shut up, you sound like Yangyang.”
“What the fuck is a Yangyang?” Mark spluttered.
“This kid in my wellness class. Speaks like he swallowed stan Twitter.”
“Oh. Sounds kind of cringe.”
“You’re one to talk, cringe-lord.”
“I’m not even—”
“No.”
“Okay.”
Neither of them was a breakfast person so they just one-shotted the glasses of water Goeun had set out for them before she left for work, grabbed their shit, and booked it out the door just as the bus pulled up. Once they’d boarded, Donghyuck let out a whoop at a message he’d received.
“My mom just texted to remind me that we have a half day today.”
“Wait, really?” Mark never knew anything. It wasn’t even shameful anymore. Just reality.
“Yeah, dumbass.”
“Cut out the bitchery, you didn’t know until ten seconds ago either.”
“I fail to see how that makes you any less of a dumbass. Anyway, what should we do later?”
Mark thought for a moment. “Maybe we can go to the amusements?”
“I promise you everybody else will have thought of that. Be more creative.” Donghyuck tapped the side of Mark’s head.
“Okay, um—wait, why do I have to come up with this?”
“Because I don’t feel like turning my brain on yet.”
“But you’re the picky one. I’m good with whatever.”
“You just have low standards. We’re going to IKEA.”
Mark burst out laughing, whacking the seat in front of him emphatically. “You’re joking, right?”
“I’m dead serious,” Donghyuck replied, and he looked it. “I want to go to IKEA and lie on every bed, sit on every couch, and terrorize every stuffed toy.”
“I think maybe you should go straight to hell. Would be easier.”
“So, that’s a yes then?” The bus pulled into the line for drop off at their school.
“Yeah, but if you purposely try to lose me in the store like you and Johnny did when we were at Walmart the other day, I will rip your MJ poster.”
Donghyuck gasped. “You would never. Not unless you want to be fucking eviscerated.”
Getting up to disembark, Mark waved a dismissive hand at his friend. “Chill out. Just don’t desert me and your stuff will be fine.”
Donghyuck continued to mutter under his breath as they entered the school building and made their way to their lockers. Mark never really stored anything in his, but it was the designated before-school gathering spot. Jaemin and Jeno were already there, giving each other heart eyes and taking selfies. Despicable.
“What’s up, ya pervs?” Donghyuck stuck himself between them, clinging to Jaemin’s neck. “Make room for Jesus!”
“You’re not Jesus,” Mark said even though he was pretty sure that wasn’t what Donghyuck had meant.
“I wish he was, then he’d be dead and gone rather than choking me.” Jaemin tried to wrestle his way out of Donghyuck’s grip to no avail, shooting Jeno and Mark SOS signals with his eyes. Jeno yanked Donghyuck’s ear, making him shriek and let go of Jaemin immediately. If only to latch onto Jeno instead.
“Hyuck, you’re not a monkey. Cut it out.” Mark would occasionally make an effort to curb Donghyuck’s erratic behavior even if it had essentially no effect whatsoever. It gave him something to do.
“What are you doing with the half day?” Jaemin asked Mark, ignoring Donghyuck and Jeno who were now trying to bash one another’s heads against the locker.
“Hyuck and I are going to IKEA.”
Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yeah, he really wants to go for some reason. What was I gonna do? Say no? I’d have ended up going anyway.”
“You sound like a doormat that gained the capability of speech.” Jaemin giggled. He always appeared his most innocent right after saying something incendiary.
“You try saying no to him and see what happens.”
“Been there done that.”
“Oh.” Serendipitously, the morning bell rang, forcing Donghyuck to un-limpet himself so Jaemin and Jeno could set off together. They’d somehow succeeded in sharing six out of seven classes this year. Mark wasn’t sure how, but he thought it might have something to do with Jaemin’s mom being one of the administrators. He and Donghyuck had four classes together, but the other three apart. First period, Mark had mathematics and Donghyuck had wellness. Mark sort of wished they had wellness together because he knew it would be a fucking riot. That’s if they didn’t get sent to the principal’s office in the first five minutes.
Giving Donghyuck a peace sign, which the other boy responded to by blowing a kiss (rude), Mark began navigating the crowded halls, bumping into another friend as he did so.
“Hey Renjun!”
“Hello, Mark Seo-Lee.” Renjun had this bizarre thing where he called everyone by their full names. It unsettled people and Mark was fairly certain that that was precisely the reason Renjun did it. “Your shirt’s on inside-out.”
Mark looked down at himself in dismay. Renjun hadn’t been wrong. “Fuck, why didn’t anyone say? Especially, Hyuck, he was there when I put the shirt on!”
“Donghyuck stayed over again?”
“Yeah.” Mark side-eyed his friend. “Why are you asking it like that? He stays over all the time.”
“On weekdays?”
“Well, no,” Mark admitted. “Last night was a special case.”
“Interesting.” Renjun held the door to their classroom open so Mark could walk through it.
“What do you mean ‘interesting’?” Mark took his seat, wondering what Renjun was getting at.
“Simply that.”
“You’re annoying,” Mark groused, arranging his pencils along the far edge of his desk.
“And what does that make you?” Renjun had taken out his pencil case which was complexly designed and full of a multitude of different writing implements.
“Way too tolerant of everyone’s bullshit.”
“Behold, a moment of self-discovery at this early hour,” Renjun drawled.
“I hope you fail the test next week.” A stupid wish. Renjun was the smartest kid in the class. Perhaps the whole school. The chances of him failing were actually lower than the chances of Mark and Donghyuck getting together. Or maybe that was just Mark’s sexual frustration artificially upping his odds.
Renjun just smiled and placed his study packet on his desk. No doubt it was covered with his miniscule, neat print. Smug little bastard.
During the fifteen-minute break between second and third period, Mark hid in the bathroom and used his barely usable phone to send Renjun a text because he couldn’t shake the feeling the Renjun knew or suspected something.
a whole Melon | you were being sorta weird in first period
Vixen | Was I?
a whole Melon | uh yeah. like abt Hyuck
Vixen | I think you’re overthinking again, Mark.
a whole Melon | probably. but i was getting vibes idk
Vixen | I wasn’t sending any vibes.
Vixen | What’s really bothering you?
a whole Melon | i like Hyuck
Vixen | Yes, obviously. Isn’t he your best friend?
a whole Melon | no i mean i /like/ him
Vixen | Oh.
Vixen | So you’re finally admitting it.
a whole Melon | what?? what do you mean finally??
Vixen | We been knew. I know you think you’re subtle, but you’re really not.
a whole Melon | well this is embarrassing
Vixen | As is everything you do.
a whole Melon | fuck off
a whole Melon | wait does Hyuck know?????
Vixen | If he does, he has not mentioned it to me, Jeno, or Jaemin.
a whole Melon | how’d you know he didn’t tell them?
Vixen | Because they would have told me immediately.
a whole Melon | oh nice. good to know literally no one i know has a decent bone in their body
Vixen | 🤷
Welp, that had been easier to admit than he’d imagined. Granted text and spoken conversation are vastly different and Mark was unsure he’d be able to voice the words ‘I like Hyuck’ out loud without falling dead on the spot. Still, progress. Now he just had to hope and pray that Renjun would keep his mouth shut. Of all his friends, Mark trusted Renjun the most. Renjun had some sense of decorum.
But he was also lowkey evil.
Mark’s phone lit up with a notification from the group chat he had with Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun. He clenched every muscle in his body as he opened the messaging app.
We Hot & We Young
Vixen | @sunnie, Mark’s in love with you.
Reading the text was like being smacked in the face with a wet fish, run over by a bus, and finding out his dog had died. All at once. He watched in horror as the rest of his friends responded.
nana | noooooo
nono | is this a shit post?
sunnie | yeah, him and everyone else who’s ever met me. in fact, i bet even ppl who haven’t met me r in love w me
Okay. Okay. Things might actually be all right. This might not be Armageddon. Mark might live to see another day. No one seemed to be taking Renjun’s announcement seriously, least of all Donghyuck. But still, what the fuck? Yeah, Renjun is evil but Mark didn’t know he was that evil.
Reopening his text thread with The Devil and checking four times that it was the correct one, he spastically typed out a message.
a whole Melon | Huang Renjun, I hope you always miss the last step when you’re walking down the stairs.
Vixen | Points for creativity. And proper punctuation.
a whole Melon | that’s all you have to say for yourself???
Vixen | Were you expecting something else?
a whole Melon | an apology!!!!
Vixen | I have nothing to apologize for.
a whole Melon | RENJUN I SWEAR TO GOD
Vixen | Just ask him out. I laid the groundwork for you.
a whole Melon | let it be known that you are the worst friend i have EVER had
Back in the main chat, Mark struggled to formulate a response that wouldn’t make him sound guilty as fuck. What he cooked up extruded every bit of effort he had remaining in him and still sounded sus.
We Hot & We Young
a whole Melon | yo, i’m a sad fuck. but I’m not that sad of a fuck
The warning bell sounded, and Mark darted out of the bathroom, tripping over himself as he tried to get to class before the second one. Of course, this was one of his classes with Donghyuck, who expressionlessly pulled Mark’s seat out so he could plop into it unceremoniously just as Ms. Kang clapped to attract everyone’s attention.
As usual, Mark passed the time by casting what he hoped were subtle glances Donghyuck’s way. The other boy was doodling diligently. He wasn’t artistic by any stretch of the imagination but that never seemed to deter him from populating his notebooks with a plethora of bizarre little sketches. When he was concentrating, a crease would form between his eyebrows and he would bite his thumb thoughtfully. Mark kind of wanted a ten-hour loop of Donghyuck doodling. It would be a sound substitute for therapy. Not that Mark went to therapy – he did Not have his life together enough for that.
After fourth period ended, marking the conclusion of the half day, Mark and his ‘friends’ gathered in front of the school. Jeno was toting Jaemin on his back and Renjun was finger-knitting. In public. Like it wasn’t even slightly out of the ordinary. Mark thought he might fare better if he started friend-shopping at the zoo.
“What’re you three doing now?” Donghyuck asked, attempting to unravel Renjun’s work and receiving a loud slap for it. “Mark and I are going to IKEA. I would say come with, but it’s sorta a date.”
Mark gaped. “A date? It’s not a date!”
“A date at IKEA?” Renjun didn’t lift his eyes as he spoke. “What are you? Thirty-five?”
“Not a date!” Mark yelled, loudly enough for other students to look over, realize who it was, and promptly go back to minding their own business. Renjun had the entire student body very well trained.
“Me and Jeno are getting coffee at that new place that opened downtown,” Jaemin said from his perch.
“I am going home. To sleep,” Renjun offered.
“You’re just gonna go take a nap and yet you had the nerve to shit on what Mark and I are doing? Bitch move, Ren-ren, bitch move.” Donghyuck wagged his finger at Renjun eliciting not even the bat of an eyelash.
“I’ve told you this more times than I care to count, but since you seem incapable of understanding I shall repeat it. Do. Not. Call. Me. That.”
“Be nicer and I’ll consider it.” Donghyuck grasped Mark’s hand and waved to the others. “Have fun, piss pots. Let me know if you want anything from IKEA. We won’t buy it for you but we can definitely send you lots of pictures!”
“Send me your drink order,” Jeno called back. “So, I can get it for you and then just drink it myself.”
Instead of boarding the bus as they normally would have, Mark and Donghyuck headed for the subway. Unfortunately, despite Donghyuck’s best efforts, they still hadn’t been able to convince the bus driver to drop them off anywhere other than their homes. Mark sat next to Donghyuck on one of the battered green subway benches and wondered if Donghyuck had read anything into Renjun’s inflammatory text message. What if he already knew Mark liked him and just thought it was funny? That seemed too cruel for Donghyuck, but Mark’s track record didn’t exactly put it out of the realm of possibility.
“Do you think Jeno and Jaemin are fucking?” Donghyuck queried, completely out of the blue. Mark clapped his hand over his mouth to cover up his gasp.
“Hello, what?”
“Well, do you think they are or not?” Donghyuck insisted.
“Um, I don’t know? I try not to think of my friends like that.” LIAR. DIRTY FUCKING LIAR. Mark thought about Donghyuck like that Every Fucking Day.
“God, you’re such a nun. I think they’re fucking. There’s just no way they aren’t.”
Mark groaned. “Could we possibly talk about something else?”
“We could, but this is what I want to talk about.”
The subway pulled into their stop and they stepped off, trekking up the stairs to ground level. “Why though?”
“Because it entertains me.” Donghyuck took Mark’s hand again. Naturally, like he’d been doing it for years. Which he had and which did nothing to deter Mark’s heart from doing the can-can at 2x speed.
“Maybe you should try minding your own business for once.” Mark should be applauded for the fact that he was able to make his mouth work when he was both physically and emotionally compromised.
“No, my business is not currently spicy enough.”
Mark didn’t really have a response for that. Well, he did but if he said it out loud, he would be forced to move off planet. Permanently. Elongated Muskrat – beam me the fuck up!!!
The IKEA store was mostly deserted because of the time of day and thus felt as though it were entirely their oyster. (What a weird expression. Why did I even use that?) As promised, Donghyuck settled onto the first piece of living room furniture he laid eyes on.
“Wow, look at this, Hyuck.” Mark had found an enormous orange bean bag chair and the desire to throw himself directly into it was uncontrollable. So, he did. And Hyuck flopped on top of him. As expected.
“Let’s get this!” Donghyuck hollered and Mark hoped the security guard wouldn’t be sent to shoo them out like last time they’d been at the store.
“How would we even get it home?” Mark shifted under Donghyuck, trying to push him off.
“You can carry it. It’s not that heavy.” Donghyuck stood and dragged Mark up by the hood of his sweatshirt, nearly breaking his neck.
“I can carry it?” Mark protested. “Are your arms broken?”
Donghyuck, rather than replying, just continued further into the store, pausing every few feet to lower himself onto a sofa. In the bedroom section, they took turns laying prostrate on each mattress, providing detailed commentary on their impressions.
“This one is like taking a nap in a bowl of oatmeal,” Mark said, almost having difficulty getting up out of the dough-like mattress.
“This one’s harder than my dick in the morning.” Donghyuck said the dirtiest shit in the most even tone. It was horrifying.
“Jesus Christ, we’re in public, Hyuck!”
“Barely. There’s no one here.” Donghyuck rolled off the bed and winked at Mark as he walked past him.
“Why’d you just wink at me?”
“Why do you question everything?”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Isn’t skepticism healthy or something?”
“Not when you exercise it at every fucking turn.” Donghyuck pointed at a lamp. “Damn, who let this monstrosity out of the factory?”
“Same person who let you out of the womb,” Mark grumbled.
Donghyuck turned around abruptly. “That is quite possibly the best insult I’ve ever gotten.”
“Uh, you’re welcome?” Mark wondered if he should tell Donghyuck that that was the nicest thing Donghyuck had ever said to him.
“I am going to get you a plushie as a reward. Come on.” Donghyuck took off in the direction of the toy aisles and Mark had no choice other than to follow him. Because he was wholeheartedly dedicated to not getting lost.
“Oo, oo, oo!” Donghyuck shrieked, seizing a stuffed brown brontosaurus. “This one is perfect.”
“It looks soulless.”
“You’re soulless!” Donghyuck whacked Mark with the toy which he was sure had to be some sort of violation of proper customer conduct. “It’s adorable. I’m buying it for you. If you complain I will kiss you.”
“Wait, what?” March swore he was hearing things. His brain was definitely beginning to shut down.
Donghyuck seemed very pleased with himself. “You heard me.”
Mark thought for a moment and then began to speak. Then he stopped and thought again before girding himself for the most reckless shit he’d ever pulled and said, “Then I’m going to complain.”
Donghyuck’s face rapidly transitioned through three states: shock, disbelief, and, inexplicably, joy.
“Mark, does that mean you want me to kiss you?”
“No,” Mark hesitated. Fuck it. “Yes.”
“Oh my god,” Donghyuck exclaimed right before he dropped the dinosaur, grabbed Mark’s shoulder’s, and kissed him.
It took Mark a second to adjust to the sudden overturning of his entire world but then he started kissing Donghyuck back, his mind screaming “holyshitholyshitholyshit” the whole time.
When Mark had imagined kissing Donghyuck in the past, he’d only thought of how his lips would feel. He hadn’t considered the sensation of Donghyuck’s hands gripping his arms, their bodies pressed close together. So unbearably close.
“Kids, this is an IKEA. Not the movie theater. Take it elsewhere.” The employee sounded incredibly bored. “Also, if you’re not buying that dinosaur, please put it back on the shelf before you go.”
Mark sprang away from Donghyuck, covering his face, and hoping that if he tried hard enough, he could convince his atoms to phase out of existence. Donghyuck laughed, picked up the toy, and grinned at the employee who just shook their head and left.
“Did we just kiss in fucking IKEA?” Mark was truly and thoroughly impressed that he’d just succeeded in not only forming words but saying them.
“Yeah, and if you give that cockblocker a few seconds to clear out, we can do it again.”
Mark threw up his hands. “No. No! Wait a minute. What just happened?
“We kissed. In IKEA. Are you high?”
“No! I’m not high. What the hell???”
“Okay, but your short-term memory loss begs to differ.”
“Hyuck, be serious for once. Please. Why did you kiss me?”
Donghyuck tilted his head. “You told me you wanted me to.”
“And you just did it?” Mark asked, voice almost cracking.
“I’ve always wanted to kiss you, Mark. I was just waiting for you to ask.”
Ahem. What? WHAT THE FUCK???? Mark’s mind was literally imploding. He half expected it to begin pouring out of his ears. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. Donghyuck did not just say that. Mark refused to accept this as reality.
“If you keep working your one brain cell that hard, it’s going to give up on you,” Donghyuck said.
“I’m just—I’m…Wow.”
“You got it bad for me, huh?” Donghyuck shouldn’t be allowed to look so good when he smirked like that.
“Yeah, I do, Hyuck.” Mark’s filter was broken. He was powerless. “Will you buy me that plushie now so we can go home?”
Donghyuck beamed at him. “Sure!”
Out on the sidewalk, the dinosaur clutched under one arm, Mark pinched himself.
“Ouch!” Mark yelped. Stupidly.
Donghyuck peered at him. “Did you just pinch yourself?”
“Uh, maybe?”
“You’re adorable.”
“That sounds weird coming from you.”
“Get used to it,” Donghyuck said. “I guess since we’ve known each other forever we can just go directly to boyfriends, right?”
“Yeah, sure, I guess,” Mark stuttered. “I mean, yes. Yes, of course.”
“I’m a bottom, by the way.”
Mark nearly choked. “You’re a what?”
“A bottom. It means that when we fuck, you’ll stick it in me.”
Mark was pretty sure every single blood vessel in his face had just burst. “Oh, right.”
“I figured that’s basically the only thing you don’t already know about me.”
“Mm.” Mark stared straight ahead, willing his body to cool down.
“Did I embarrass you?” Donghyuck sounded like the paragon of innocence and Mark was forced to look over at him.
“Of course, you fucking did, Hyuck!”
Donghyuck nodded. “Good.”
Mark was going to pretend – and he would appreciate if you would too – that he didn’t find Donghyuck’s response at least a little bit hot. After all he’d been through, was it really such a shock that he had a shame kink? It’s called improvising, adapting, and overcoming.
“You know,” Donghyuck began just as they walked up to Mark’s front door. “Your mom’s going to realize immediately.”
Mark squinted. “How could she possibly?”
“Believe me, she will. Mom-sense or whatever.”
“Shit.”
“What?”
Mark coughed awkwardly to buy himself time. “My mom – and my dad – they don’t know I’m bi.”
“Yikes.” Donghyuck grimaced.
“Yeah.” Mark looked at his feet.
“I can just go to my place. I don’t wanna out you like that.”
“No.” Mark shook his head and raised it. “No, Hyuck. I’ve been waiting for an opportune moment for ages and this is it. I want to do it now. It will be so much better if you’re with me.”
“Okay, let’s do this, baby.”
“Do I like you calling me that?”
“I don’t know, Mark, do you?”
“Just go inside.”
Both boys took off their shoes and ambled into the kitchen where Goeun was working on her laptop, Watermelon splayed out at her feet. When she saw them come in, she smiled.
“Nice dinosaur. Did Hyuck get it for you?”
“I did,” Donghyuck said and he sounded proud.
Mark sat down in the chair opposite her and Donghyuck settled in the one beside him.
“Mom?”
Goeun gazed at him, questioningly. “Yes, Mark?”
“Hyuck and I are dating.”
Goeun didn’t even blink. “Oh, I was wondering when you were going to tell me.”
Donghyuck immediately began cackling and Mark elbowed him sharply. “But, mom, we only just started dating like an hour ago.”
Goeun’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Really? Did you think we were together beforehand?” Goeun nodded. “And you were just like ‘whatever’?”
“I knew you’d tell me when you wanted to. Why are you acting like I’m some sort of hell parent?”
“You’re not but I thought this would be a bigger deal.”
“What? That you like boys?” Goeun chuckled. “If you weren’t always a little bundle of hyperactive nerves you would know I am bisexual too, Minhyung. Remember my friend Sandy from high school? She was my girlfriend.”
Mark’s eyes felt like they were about to pop out of his eyes and bounce across the kitchen floor. “Well, shit.”
“I’m telling you,” Donghyuck interjected. “Everyone is gay.”
“I’m gay too!” Johnny hollered from the living room. Which meant he’d heard everything that had just gone down and soon the whole world would know about it. Mark was willing to bet Jaemin would be the first to call him or Hyuck.
Sure enough, Mark’s phone began vibrating in his pocket and when he answered it a drawn out and unexpectedly loud “wahhh” filled the room.
Donghyuck snorted. “Did a baby call you?”
“Nana’s just not very good at articulating when he’s excited.” That was Jeno. “Congratulations, by the way. I guess I should tell you that Jaemin and I have been a thing since freshman year.”
“Freshman year?!” Mark and Donghyuck cried simultaneously.
“Yeah. Sorry we didn’t tell you earlier.” Jeno didn’t sound sorry at all.
“Shut up! Oh my god.” Donghyuck huffed, snatching the phone from Mark. “I am hanging up on you.”
Donghyuck handed Mark’s phone back to him and opened the fridge, taking out the jug of lemonade.
“I think the most entertaining part of that conversation was the fact that Jaemin literally only made the baby sound. He didn’t say anything else,” Goeun remarked.
“Please, I’m still not over the fact that those fuckers have been together for four years and told no one. Not! a! fucking! one!” Donghyuck poured himself, Mark, and Goeun a glass of lemonade as he lamented.
“Come in here,” Johnny requested, still in the other room. “I want to bully you guys.”
“Now why would I walk straight into the path of danger?” Mark replied.
From his left, Donghyuck countered, “Why would you not?”
Johnny was draped over the couch, wearing basketball shorts and a torn Metallica T-shirt, playing Wii tennis. He paused the game when Mark and Donghyuck shuffled in and spread his arms.
“I guess this means you’re coming to collitch with me, Mork!”
Briefly, Mark considered protesting, saying that he still needed more time to think. But then he realized staying close to Donghyuck was as good a way to select a school as any. College was four years. If he played his cards right, Donghyuck might be forever.
(Ohmygod, Mark, you’re so corny. Please, send help.)
“I guess it does.”
“We are gonna have so many parties!!” Johnny pulled Mark into his lap, something he hadn’t done in a hot minute. Just this once, Mark didn’t mind being babied by his older brother.
“No, you’re not.” Goeun, who’d remained in the kitchen, also had the eavesdropping gene.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on them,” Donghyuck responded.
Mark laughed. “I don’t think that’s as reassuring as you think it is.”
“Don’t ruin my golden boy façade,” Donghyuck hissed, glaring darkly at Mark.
“No one is naïve enough to actually believe you know how to behave, Hyuck.”
Johnny sneezed, rocking Mark’s whole body in the process. “You guys are already fighting?”
“We’ve been fighting for the last ten years. Where have you been?” Mark enjoyed watching Donghyuck direct his disgust at someone other than himself.
“Hoping you’d stop. Or at least quiet down so I could sleep.”
Donghyuck hit Johnny with a pillow. Mark dodged and fell to the floor, banging his head on the coffee table as he went down.
“Fuck, that hurt.”
Johnny clucked. “Damn, from fighting straight to murder? The kids move fast these days.”
“End yourself,” Donghyuck spat and Mark gave him a thumbs up from where he was nursing his sore cranium on the carpet. Donghyuck leaned down and very gently kissed the top of his head. Johnny started ‘awing’ hysterically and Mark blushed for the 99th time that day.
Mark wasn’t even surprised when he woke up from a nap a week later and discovered his hands had been tied together in his lap. Donghyuck was seated at the foot of the bed, staring at him. He hadn’t been there when Mark went to sleep, meaning he must have showed up while Mark was out cold and somebody else had let him in. Idiot.
“Why did you tie me up?”
“I wanna try bondage.”
“Okay, but something tells me that’s not really what’s going on here.”
Donghyuck seated himself further up on the bed, so he could run his fingers threw Mark’s messy hair. “We’re going to the DMV.”
Mark’s shoulders sagged. “Not this again.”
“Yes, this again. You need to get this over and done with. You have to be able to drive us to school when Johnny graduates.”
“Why can’t you drive?”
“Because it’s hotter if you do.”
“I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are. Because I’m not untying you and I hid all the scissors.” Donghyuck rose from the bed and pulled Mark to his begrudging feet, bringing him through the hall into the vestibule where he retrieved Mark’s wallet from his jacket and helped him put on his shoes.
Mark stood, mortified, on the subway and tried to determine the exact set of factors that landed him in this version of reality. The version where he was dating a fucking menace. A beautiful fucking menace.
At the DMV building, Donghyuck unshackled him. “Go on in, I’m gonna chill out here, because 1) it’s nice and 2) I hate the fucking DMV. I already made you an appointment, here’s the info.” He handed Mark a small piece of paper covered in his endearing scrawl.
“Before I go in, can I tell you something?”
“I swear if you say you love me right now, I will steal someone’s car and run you over with it. But, please, continue.”
Mark just took deep a breath. “I wrote you a song. Several songs, actually.”
“Oh.” Mark was absolutely certain that he could see pink in Donghyuck’s cheeks.
“I’ll show them to you later.”
Donghyuck stepped forward and kissed him once, chastely.
“You got this, Markie,” he said, all eye smile.
Mark braced himself. “Okay, I’ve got this.”
He began walking into the DMV before spinning on his heel and walking right back out. “I don’t got this.”
“Mark, get your ass into that building. Now.”
“Right. Going.”
Mark passed. Of course, he passed. And he wrote a bajillion songs for Hyuck and Hyuck sang every one of them. And they went to college together and it was a bit of a mess, but it was all right. For once, everything was all right.
Mark broke his phone again though. When he was looking at their grocery list in Trader Joe’s and Donghyuck asked to marry him.