Archive of Our Own ^beta

My world had fallen apart. A lot of people’s lives had fallen apart recently and I had probably contributed to that but at the moment, all I could focus on was mine. Karrin was dead. Murdered by an absolute idiot after defeating a Jotun. She was a hero and went out in a way wholly unbefitting her accomplishments. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never get to see her again. She was beyond reach and it wasn’t fair. We spent so much time avoiding what could be, what might go wrong, what could happen that the time we got to spend was inadequate and made bittersweet by regrets about what could have been.

In the wake of all of this, of her death, of the exposure of the supernatural world on an epic scale, of the destruction of my city and what little family I had falling apart, I was told that I was going to be marrying a vampire queen. That I had no choice in the matter and that the only reason that I wasn’t getting married basically right then and there was because said vampire queen and a queen of winter pled my case. That I should have a year to grieve because Karrin was among the honored dead. As if a year would be sufficient to cope with her loss. I had the capacity to live a long life and I doubted that even that time would be enough. It had even been hinted that the possibility of immortality was there but that didn’t bear thinking about. I was lucky to get through the next minutes, much less centuries.

I had suffered loss before. Pretty much anyone I’ve ever loved, I’ve lost. My mother before I had the chance to know her, my father with only 6 short years' worth of memories, my brother imprisoned by my own hand and clinging to life, the mother of my child dead to help save our daughter. Was it any wonder that it had taken me so long to come around to the idea of allowing myself to fully love Karen when everything in my past pointed to how this would inevitably end? This time was different however. This time I had other people counting on me so no matter how much pain I was in, I couldn’t check out or wallow or risk my life or any number of other things that I had done in the past in order to avoid dealing with the pain of loss. Now I had Maggie and Bonea and for them, I could make it through this.

As far as next steps went, I could only focus on the most immediate concern which was our new house... well, castle, I guess? It would serve as a stronghold for the chaos that was surely still to come but it wasn’t exactly a warm, homey place to raise a child. So first order of business, a roof over our heads. In this case literally since Ethniu had blown a hole through the roof using her magic, super weapon eye which I now owned. Given that the castle was also a magical fortress with wards imbued into every stone, it’s not as if I could hire a run of the mill contractor to complete the work. Normally that would have meant calling upon the Svartelves but seeing as how I had stolen my brother out from under them while they were determined to kill him, that seemed like a no-go. OK, so there’s step one in a long never-ending list of things to do while dealing with my grief.

Step one turned out to take about a month and a big chunk of the diamonds that I had set aside after raiding Hades’ vault but I came out of it with a roof over my head, comfy second-hand furniture and a much better idea of what the wards in my castle could do. Molly had been instrumental in finding someone to do the work and supervising to make sure that the creatures she had enlisted stayed in line and didn’t attempt anything nefarious. I still had miles to go both in turning it into a home and also figuring out all of the possibilities with that much latent magic but progress had been made. While taking care of that, I had spent most nights visiting the Carpenter house and spending as much time as possible with my girls.

Molly had also helped in that area too. When she could find the time and was on the same continent or plane as me, she would join in our visits to her family's house. Now that the awkward conversation about being a fairy princess was out of the way, she was making up for lost time and enjoying being around them again. These visits also gave her an excuse to check up on the security people that she had planted in the neighborhood and make sure they were doing their job and doing it well. Usually when we left to go back to the castle before she left again, Molly looked more at ease but there were other times when I could see it in her eyes that she was thinking about how much older everyone was getting while she stayed the same. On those days, I would reach my hand over to hers and give it a brief squeeze to remind her that I was there with her and we would get through it together. She had been there with me for so much that I tried to return the favor.

It seemed a lot of the things that were further down my to do list had a lot to do with making sure scales stayed balanced between parties and making sure that I didn’t owe anyone. After Butters making that observation, I spent a lot of time lying awake in bed thinking it over. After a while I had just accepted it as a reality. Not a comfortable one but one that I could live with. I was so immersed with the Fae at this point that it wasn’t possible to not consider the balance of favors and debts. All I could do was make sure that I wasn’t the one that owed them but that I had some that I could call in at a later date.

While getting the castle situation taken care of, Bob the skull spent his days examining it and generally helping/ being a pain in the ass. After considering it, I had allowed Bob to meet Bonea. He had scoffed derisively at the name and the pun included therein but quickly invited Bonea over to visit his skull and assumed the role of Uncle Bob. He had been appalled at the lack of features in the wooden backup I had crafted as part of a bargain we had made but informed me that as soon as we were able, we would work together on crafting something much more fitting for a growing spirit. In the meantime, Bonea could hang out at her Uncle Bob’s house. I had given him a strict list of rules as to what could and could not be discussed with the impressionable young spirit but who better to answer the unending litany of questions that Bonea had than someone who might actually know some of the answers.

Maggie was in good company surrounded by the Carpenter kids but we both wanted to go back to the routine we had established. It had only been a month of her living with me before it all fell apart but it felt both longer and shorter than that. I had explained to her that I was getting our new house together but when I told her it was essentially a castle, she had gasped and looked at me in awe. “Does that mean I’m a princess like Molly, Daddy?” I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction. I picked her up and told her that she was my princess and got a big smile in return.

Step two: When it came to move in day, there wasn’t a whole lot to move but getting Maggie, Mouse, Mister and Bonea all settled in made it home in a way that no material objects ever could. Given the multitude of rooms, I had also setup a spare room for Molly specifically. It was the least I could do after her making sure I had a place to stay in Chicago after my apartment building had been burned down. It had been a good setup while it lasted living at the Svartelf embassy. It wasn’t her fault that my brother had tried to murder the King of the Svartelves. I mean it also wasn’t really his fault either in a way.

I had tried to avoid thinking about the Justine situation as much as possible. I had too many other things to deal with for that to be my foremost concern. Was that selfish of me? Probably but I had a right to try and piece my life back together after everything that had happened. I still got updates from Lara’s people regarding any progress they had made tracking her but besides a couple of attempted tracking spells I hadn’t tried to add any additional efforts to the search. The fact that Nemesis had been in control of Justine for years and had gotten her pregnant as a way to manipulate Thomas was a situation that would come to a head at some point and with the way my life worked, it would come to me whether I wanted to deal with it or not. It would probably also come in the midst of a hundred other problems all at once so I was going to take this small window of opportunity to fix what I could.

No matter how much rationalizing I did, I still felt guilty that I wasn’t doing more. In those moments, I heard Murphy’s voice and was both comforted and heartbroken. I could hear her telling me to breathe and to just deal with what I could. I could almost feel her arms wrapping around my waist and her resting her forehead against my chest and it was enough to get me through for a little bit longer.

Step three: Another month passed before Lara called and asked to meet up to discuss “our timeline”. The thought made my stomach turn. I was and pretty much always had been attracted to her because well I have a pulse and eyes but hearing someone else want to sit down and plan out a future together, regardless how businesslike the whole deal seemed, felt wrong. Karrin and I had never really got to the point where we could make plans for a future together. By the time we finally got together, we were in the midst of dealing with the legal and physical repercussions of the encounter with the Denarians. We mainly stayed home and took it one day at a time because Karrin wasn’t really in any shape to go anywhere with a leg and an arm in casts. Any plans we made were limited to ‘we’ll do that once you get better’ and we didn’t make it to that point.

Now here we are 3 months later and I’m expected to start the process of planning my future out beyond the next minute, day, week or month and I’m not ready. However, the memory of how Mab’s displeasure had manifested itself previously reminded me that I didn’t have a choice in the matter and Lara was trying to be as understanding as she could. There was only so much planning she could do around me considering that our futures were about to be irrevocably intertwined. I agreed to a meetup at a neutral location because I don’t want my daughter around a vampire queen. I am almost certain that Lara wouldn’t do anything to harm Maggie but almost certain isn’t good enough when it comes to my family.

"Burger King is a neutral location,” I insisted. Her eye roll was evident through the phone.

“Just because you were able to strong arm Baron Marcone into a meeting there one time does not make it a suitable location to hold discussions. I’m sending a car for you tonight at 8 pm. Dress like someone that I won’t be embarrassed to be seen in public with.”

“Fine, where are we going?” I mentally prepared myself for having to wear a fancy outfit and be uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

“Somewhere casual. My family owns a small Italian restaurant just outside of Chicago called Buona Notte. I got it cleared out for the night so no one will bother us while we’re there.” She said all of this casually as if it should come as no surprise that her family owns random restaurants and could clear them out just because. After a moment’s consideration, it shouldn’t come as a surprise but what the hell, that’s not normal.

“Did you guys purchase this to annoy the Black Court by chance?” I was only half joking. The White Court always had a multitude of reasons for any choices they made and this just seemed like something they would do partially out of spite.

Lara laughed at that. “That was just a side benefit. Mainly they just have really good food.”

“Sure. Well, I’ve got to line up a baby sitter and I guess make an effort to look like a presentable person despite the fact that you cleared out an entire restaurant to talk. So I guess I’ll see you later then.”

She hummed a sound of agreement then hung up the phone. I looked at the phone for a second before setting it down. “Goodbye to you too.”

Hours later, one of the Carpenter kids came over to stay with Maggie. I offered to bring her to their house but Hope didn’t want to pass up the chance to stay at a castle. Who was I to argue with that logic? Once Hope got there and Maggie was distracted, I went and got showered and dressed for the night. Molly had made sure that when the roof was being fixed, the help she had employed had also wizard proofed the house as much as possible. It didn’t have quite as many gadgets as Molly’s apartment had but it had running water, electricity, heating and air conditioning. I didn’t ask too many questions as to how or why they were installed or running and just accepted them as the basic necessities that Maggie would need to grow up as a semi normal person. Plus, the house had so much space that as long as I wasn’t too close to one of the rooms with electrical gadgets then I didn’t run too much chance of blowing them out.

Once I was out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a button up shirt, I sat down and laid out the ground rules for the girls. “No playing with weapons. No going into parts of the castle you’re not supposed to. No parties, no alcohol and no boys.” Hope and Maggie giggled over that bit.

“Call this number if anything happens and you need me.” Once Lara had told me where we were going, I had looked up the number so that the girls had some way of reaching me while I was gone.

Maggie came up and hugged me around my waist. “We will. Have fun Daddy!”

“I’d have more fun staying home with my punkin’.” I leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. She smiled then she and Hope ran off to get into whatever kind of entertainment they had in mind for the night.

I let out a deep sigh. I wasn’t kidding when I told her that I would have had more fun with her. I loved spending time with her. Whatever we ended up doing together was usually fun for me for the sheer fact that I was spending time with my family. The novelty of that feeling wasn’t going away any time soon. I had spent time with Thomas but it wasn’t the same as the happiness I felt when I got to spend time with Maggie. I shook myself out of that train of thought and went outside to get my night with Lara started.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, I reached out my wizard senses to see if I could detect anything out of the ordinary. Despite the cautious truce between Lara and I, I wasn’t going to take it on blind faith that no one or nothing was there to set me up. After all, Lara still felt that we had unfinished business regarding the situation with Thomas. She wasn’t wrong but she wasn’t wholly right about that either. I hadn’t considered the full ramifications of what I had done for Thomas but at the time, it was the only solution we had to keep him from dying. I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary and after the past couple of years, I wasn’t going to take the risk of using my sight to look further. I had enough mental scars without the potential for adding more.

With that small bit of reassurance that there were no obvious threats, I went into the restaurant. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Lara had been right about the casual atmosphere since I was pretty sure that we didn’t have the same definition of a casual setup. I wandered over to the corner table that Lara was sitting at and gave her a polite nod before sitting down in the chair across from her. Let the negotiations begin.