Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Intruder

Chapter 1

It was a normal day at the White House. President Claremont was giving a speech in the morning to the press about their decision to move forward with a particular bill, and then after she was meeting with a group of children who were visiting the White House for the first time. They were from a private school and this was a social studies field trip. One of the things they wanted to do more than anything was tour the White House and meet the President.

They wrote into President Claremont, and the White House team felt it was a good move to invite them. Ellen had just finished with her meeting, and Zahra was briefing her on the teacher’s names, some of the students, and what the plan for the day was. They walked beside each other through the West Wing, and continued their talk up until they reached the conference room, they were using to seat the children.

“You’ll also be happy to know, FSOTUS is in the building today.”

Ellen raised her brows, a smile growing where a stern expression once was, “Alex is here? He didn’t tell me he was coming.”

“He wanted to be here for the kids incase you needed a break. Prince Henry’s away for a meeting in London, and well when he heard about this- he wanted to be part of it.”

“My son, always watching my back.” Ellen winked, hand on the door knob. Zahra rolled her eyes.

“Yes, always. Especially while causing international scandals…truly, what would you do without him?” Her sarcasm denser than the morning fog. Ellen shook her head with the same smile, wider than before.

“Still my son. Even when getting in trouble.” She chuckled. She was in such a good mood; the day was in her hands. She pushed through the door, and a few members of staff accompanied her. Zahra included.

“Good Morning everyone!” Ellen chimed. The children were standing, ready to greet her. A lot younger looking of a group than she had thought. They were a fourth-grade class, and they all greeted President Claremont with a very scripted hello, and it’s very nice to meet you, before Ellen gave a little opening for them. She talked a little about herself, asked a few questions here and there. They had questions of their own they asked, and she happily answered to the best of her ability.

“Mrs. President, can I ask a question?” A little girl in the middle of the group asked. Only her hand could be seen, raised above her friend’s heads.

“Who is that?” Ellen squinted playfully. “You can absolutely ask a question, but let her come forward guys.” She smiled, waving the girl forward. She pushed through her friends and stood there, with a paper bigger than her, gripped in her shaky hands. She reminded Ellen of June when she was younger. Her brown hair pulled up into a tight donut bun on her head, her jumper so neat and pressed it couldn’t possibly belong to a rambunctious little girl, and her nerves getting the best of her when trying to speak in front of a crowd.  

“I’m Theresa, Mrs. President…and I just wanted to know what your favorite part about living in the White House is?” She asked, trying to make eye contact, but finding it scarier than she thought.

“That’s a wonderful question, Theresa. I’d have to say it would be getting to live in the same place that I get to work with so many good, and honest people…but I’ll be even more honest and tell you my favorite part is not having to cook for myself anymore.” She nodded, scrunching up her nose. The little girl laughed, and so did the rest of the kids.

When Ellen was done answering questions, she began her small tour of the White House along with other staff members closely behind. She was happy to see a familiar face stalking up the hallways they were entering, and took the moment to introduce her son. It’d been a while since they’d seen each other in person rather than over facetime. It was hard to get away from Law School, and even harder to pry Henry and him away from each other.  

 Ellen smiled at her son, waving to him, “Ya’ll, look who we have the privilege of getting to meet! You know I have two children- as mentioned before, this is one of them. My son Alex Claremont-Diaz.”

“Hey guys!” Alex greeted them, coffee in hand. The little girls in the front swooned, and all the boys waved. “How’s it going ya’ll? Are you enjoying the tour?” He asked.

They all responded simultaneously, and rather energetic for such an early morning.

“Whoa! Alright then! Good to hear it!” He beamed, brushing a hand through his hair. Ellen noticed he cut it back a bit. She loved his curls that came from Oscar, and loved when he kept it longer, but tame. She wanted to run her hands through it and hug him, but it would have to wait till they were alone. Even though it’d be wonderful for the mother President to show affection to her son, it wasn’t an appropriate setting.

“Did you meet my sister June yet?” Alex asked.

“No, she’s not in the building today.” Ellen shook her head.

“Aw, that stinks. June would have loved to meet you guys. Who here likes to write?”

He got a show of about three hands. “Okay, great. June is a journalist- do you know what a journalist is?”

He got one hand raised by a boy who stood taller than the rest, and eagerly wanted to be called on. Alex pointed to him, sipping his coffee. “Go ahead!” Alex called out.

The boy shifted feet as he spoke, looking around the room, “It’s a job that someone does where they write about current events, and…uh, I guess the news?”

“That was a great answer,” Alex leaned forward, turning his ear to the group.

“Isaiah.” The boy smiled.

“Great answer, Isaiah! Yeah, a journalist does many different jobs. You can have news journalists, sports journalists-” Zahra tapped Alex’s shoulder.

“Alex, sorry to cut you off, but could we borrow you?” Zahra asked, apologetically looking to the kids. Alex said his goodbyes and told them he’d be back momentarily. He followed Zahra off to the side and let his mother take over again.

“What’s up?” Alex crossed his arms.  

There was a pause, and she glanced down at Alex’s lanyard that held a red card with the letter ‘A’ on it, “Just tell me one thing…did you sign in with your badge when you got here?” Zahra asked.

“Uh, no actually-why?” Alex asked, realizing he didn’t even have his badge. It was left home due to him forgetting it on the counter when he was rushing to get out the door.  

Zahra sighed, “Okay, that’s all I needed.” Alex quickly realized the color had drained from her face as much as it could against her dark tones.

“Z…what’s wrong?” Alex blinked, sipping more coffee.

She looked back at Alex, as if she were going to start talking but didn’t. She rolled her eyes, and pulled him off a little further away, “We just had someone enter the property…they signed in with your badge only an hour ago.”

“I got here an hour ago. They probably pulled up my credentials and signed me in.” Alex suggested.

“No, it said swiped at a side entrance. They didn’t come through the front. Whoever it is, apparently got through because they saw he had a badge. I’m gonna have a stern fucking word with security for not checking it regardless. I’m livid...I’m also really intrigued on how he got your fucking idea- so you have some explaining yourself.” Zahra shot him a pointed look. She ran a hand through her hair, her diamond snagging on a strand of it.  

“I used a guest badge.” Alex blinked. How could he have Alex’s badge? It was at home in New York?

“Guests badges wouldn’t have your credentials on it. Just get back to the kids, we may have a lock down. Bring them to the Oval office.” Zahra tapped her ear piece and looked at Cash. “Take Barracuda to the Oval Office.” She nodded. Cash nodded, and Alex’s stomach dropped. He was used to going on lock down- it happened all the time when he lived here…but something about this one was different. They alerted the President calmly, and she left the kids to go with members of the secret service to be guided out of the building into a safe place for the time being. She demanded Alex go with her, but they decided it was best to keep the children calm and they assured her Alex would be safe in the Oval Office. Alex collected himself enough to start talking to the kids, feeling much more confident with Cash beside him, and a few other agents.  

“Guys, we’re going to see where President Claremont signs some of the most important bills and documents. Her office.” Alex smiled, waving them along.

“We get to see the Oval office?” A girl called out. Alex nodded, and eyed Cash. He was calm and ushered the kids down a hallway quickly. The teachers were pulled aside and given instruction of what they are to do in case of immediate evacuation. Alex swallowed as they entered the room, and asked that everyone stand on the furthest side of the room against a long set of bookshelves far away from the doors and windows.

“Hey guys, we’re gonna stop a minute and stay really quiet. We do this a few times a day, where the building is cleared, but while that happens, we have to be really quiet. Okay?” Alex asked, pulling his left hand up to put a finger against his lips. His engagement band catching his eye. His breath caught in his throat- immediately thinking about Henry. Now was not the time to think about that.

“Once we get the okay from Secret Service, we can do a really cool tour of the office. Alright? We’ll even let you guys take a picture at the President’s desk.” Alex was saying anything he could to not think about what was happening.

Alex stood beside the kids, quietly in the office. The secret service was crowding the room, keeping the children sheltered. Cash looked at Alex, and Alex looked back at Cash with a stern expression.

“How much longer?” A boy whined. Alex glanced down at him, then up at the teacher.  

“Franklin, quiet down.” The teacher whispered, wincing apologetically at Alex. He pursed his lips, shaking his head at her.

“It’s alright.” He mouthed. The silence carried on for another five minutes. No word yet. “Anything?” Alex mouthed to an agent. He shook his head, pressing the ear piece.

Suddenly and without warning Cash turned toward everyone, “Alright kids, we’re going to play a game.” Cash spoke up and nearly all the agents started scattering around the room. Cash looked to the teachers. They nodded, understanding the code. “The President has to bring a special guest back to her office, so we’ll come back in a little while. What I want everyone to do is remain quiet, form a line and go out that door across from us. We’re gonna practice what we call the crawl, and you need to duck your heads, hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you and stay low. Let’s move out troops.” Cash nodded, waving them to follow across the room. The innocent giggles, and rushed feet started toward the door manned by security. There was a moment of pure adrenaline shooting through Alex. He knew what this meant- they can’t locate the man, and everyone needs to evacuate immediately. His assumes his mother is already far away from the building- which leaves him and the secret service. Zahra is with his mother, and he’s alone with other members of the White House, these kids and their teacher... and some dude posing as himself.  

“Alex, follow with.” Cash grabbed his arm. “I have barracuda.” Cash spoke low into his ear piece. Alex nodded, getting his feet to not feel like cement anymore and going forward.

Everything turned to slow motion for Alex when a shot was heard not far from where they were in the Oval office. A scream and then another rang out- more shots. The kids halted, turning to look at them with fear in their eyes.

“What was that?” The boy Franklin called out.

“Let’s go, keep moving.” The secret service tried to pull the kids across the room.  That’s when the door from the left side of the room burst open. A man entering whom they thought to be secret service in that moment- but clearly was not, held a hand gun in his left hand pointed at the people of the room.

Cash drew his gun, and other members of the secret service drew theirs. The man was wearing a clean, tailored grey suit and his hair was combed out straight and angled to the right side of his head. He looked completely normal, and if it weren’t for his crazed expression, and the wagging weapon in his hand, he could pass for a respectable visitor to the White House.

“Put your weapon down!” Cash yelled. The children screamed, making the man aim his gun at them. “I said put your weapon down, or we’ll shoot.” Cash yelled.

“I wouldn’t if I were you! This whole building will go up!” The man yelled, and ripped open his jacket with trembling hands. He kept eyes on the people in the room frantically scanning for more weapons and ripped his shirt open to show a piece of machinery strapped to his chest, which they now could assume was some sort of bomb. He grasped his weapon with both hands now, dragging it in the direction of one person to the next. A member of secret service came in behind him, gun pointed and Cash hollered not to shoot. The crazed intruder turned around, firing at the man, sending him backwards.

The children screamed again, and everyone in the room was frozen.

“It’s okay. It’s okay!” The teacher pleaded; hands raised. Her partner was also hands raised, but body in front of the children. “Please don’t shoot them.” She begged, shaking and crying.

“Quiet! All of you!” He yelled. Alex was trying not to panic. He knew this much:

1. His mom was safe…he assumes.
2. Zahra is safe.
3. Henry is safe.
4. June and everyone else are presumably safe.
5. He is not safe. Not yet.

Not his best list, but his brain shut down moment ago when he saw an agent take a bullet for them. He knew they had to be okay. Their suits were made to withstand bullets. It didn’t change the fact that he was shot at…it didn’t change anything.

“If you lower your weapon, we’ll lower ours. Let’s have a conversation about this…” An agent spoke up, hand raised at him still with his weapon drawn.

“I don’t need to have a conversation.” He shook, pointing his weapon at everyone. “I didn’t come here to have a conversation. I came here to take care of something.” He replied, eyes darting around the room- not resting for a second.

Alex furrowed his brow, trying to stay hidden behind Cash, but wanting to get a look at the man.

“Where is Alexander Claremont- fucking- Diaz? Where is the token whore of the white house?!” He hollered. Alex couldn’t bear to hear him speak like this in front of the children. He stepped out from behind Cash quickly- hands raised. What a fucking idiot, he thought to himself. Cash brought his arm up to scoop Alex back behind him.

“Stay back.” Cash bit back at him.

“Alexander! Come out here.” The man yelled, now staring only in his direction, gun pointed at Cash. The children jumped, watching Alex carefully from where they stood. Alex placed his hand on Cash’s shoulder, and moved over.

“I’m right here…I’m here!” Alex called out with his hands raised like the others. Cash watched between the two. This man clearly had no problem shooting anyone, and Cash was ready to take the bullet.  

“Come here.” He said casually, waving his gun toward him. Alex gulped, and when he looked at the terrified faces of the children crowded beside his mother’s desk, he frowned. He turned back to the man and gulped again.

Alex tilted his head back toward them, “Let them go, and we can talk…I’m all yours.” Alex trembled as he spoke.

“They can watch. I don’t give a shit.”

“Let them go…and we can talk.” Alex spoke more sternly. “This doesn’t involve them clearly. Have a heart…let them go.” Alex pleaded, shaking his head.  

“Always thinking with your heart…that’s your problem Diaz. That’s your fucking problem.” He said, then broke into laughter. “How’s your boyfriend…or should I say fiancé? I saw that announcement. Good for you- huh? Get everything you wanted? You got your choice?” He mocked.

“Please…whatever this has to do with…just let them go. They have nothing-”

“Shut up! SHUT UP!” The man yelled. The children were crying, and Alex was trying desperately not to do the same. Cash was on guard, and the rest of the secret service was standing by.

Alex could feel his back pocket start to vibrate, very loud through the quiet room. He knew it had to be Henry…the news of the intruder most definitely broke by now. He has to know by now…he has to be watching it by now…waiting impatiently to see his love is safe.

“I’m not asking- I’m begging. Please let them go. You can have me…alone if they can go.”

The man aimed his gun to a clearing in the room and pulled the trigger. Alex flinched, tears streaming down his face- but he held his neutral expression. Alex gave props to the secret service for staying grounded.

“I said to shut up. You don’t know how to listen, Diaz. You just don’t. Never once have you remained in your place, or taken a seat when you were supposed to. Just an ignorant kid, with nothing but a big ego and a self-righteous attitude. Do you really think that’s what’s going to keep getting you through life? Huh? Is it?” He shouted.

“I’m not asking for a lot… please let the children lea-” Alex just about got out before a bullet flew at him from the man’s gun. Cash dove in front of Alex- no hesitation, catching it in his sleeve, blood pooling at the site. Alex fell back as Cash was hit. Cash nearly in his lap, clutching his arm. Alex’s eyes wide, unable to breathe…Cash was shot and he was injured- bleeding in front of him.   

“You just let everyone take the bullets, don’t you Alex?” The man shook his head, ready to shoot again.

“Stop! Just stop!” Alex screamed, gripping onto Cash. He looked down at him, pulling at him, “I’m so sorry.” Alex cried, looking into Cash’s eyes. He looked up at the man again, “Just let everyone go…I promise you I’ll do whatever you ask. Don’t hurt anyone else!” Alex pleaded. The man hesitated, eyes on Alex only. Alex didn’t take his eyes off of him, but turned his head slightly toward where the teachers and children stood.

“They have five seconds.” He mumbled.

“Go…” Alex said quietly. “GO!” Alex screamed when they didn’t move. The children and teachers rushed out the door on the demand. In seconds the room was empty of them- only him, Cash and the secret service remained.  

“You alright?” Alex finally looked down at Cash. Cash swallowed, holding his arm. He nodded up at Alex, who held him.

“Yeah.” He managed, strained. Alex nodded, and patted his hands on him where they laid.

“Get up Diaz and come here.” The man said, demanding him over to him. Cash nodded, giving Alex a knowing look. Alex stood slowly, and ventured over to the man. As Alex drew closer, he realized who the man really was. He’d seen him a couple times during the last campaign...he was someone definitely working with Richards, that’s for sure.

“You’re from the campaign.” Alex started.

“No shit.” He sneered.

“What do you want with me? ...is this some kind of homophobic hate crime?” Alex asked.

“You’re a little shit, and you deserve to suffer.”

“I don’t think I do actually. No one does…we are passed this.” Alex shook his head. “I think we can sit and talk about this further…put the weapon down, it’s only fair since I’m not armed.” Alex suggested.  

“Oh, you’re armed alright.” He shook his head, motioning to all the agents who hadn’t let off since they drew their weapons. Alex wasn’t sure what was happening to him- but shock may be the answer. He turned off the fear crippling him, and gained some sort of courage to keep talking.

“They will put their weapons down if you lower yours.” Alex said. The man refused.

“I came for one thing, and it would be an honor to go through with it, knowing the world will be a better place without you in it.” The man said, reaching into his shirt flaps. Alex’s eyes grew wide his hands flew up.

“Don’t!” He yelled. “Please- you don’t want to do this.” Alex shook his head swiftly.

“There is no place to go after this kid. I knew what I came here for. I knew it since the day I decided what had to be done.”

“Why can’t you explain to me why? What does my life have to do with you? We’re all humans…people with lives-”

“You know exactly what you did! I lost my job because of you- we lost the campaign because of you! What life? You took all of ours!”

“Richards was never going to win!” Alex shot back. Cash groaned, signaling Alex to shut the fuck up.

“Oh, yes we were! Until you ruined it!” The man yelled. Alex wishes he knew the man’s name. He dared to ask it- but he was certain it wouldn’t matter beyond this point.

“I’m sorry, but Richards didn’t have to leak the emails- he made himself look bad. Don’t pin this on me or anyone else for his demise. He did that all on his own!” Alex answered, pointing to himself. The man was growing more agitated. He hollered something unintelligible and pointed his gun with more authority at Alex. Alex breathed in through his nose, and held up his hands at him.

“Okay…okay.” He started. He noticed his ring again, and felt the pang in his chest when the thought of Henry crossed his mind again.

“I had one goal today…that was to get you alone-”

Alex’s phone began to vibrate again. Alex rolled his lips in, clenching his eyes shut.  

“Answer it.” He barked. Alex gulped, and retrieved is phone slowly. HRH Prince Dickhead *poop emoji*. He wishes he had changed it. “Answer it!” He screamed, and Alex realized he almost missed the call.

“H-hello?” Alex spoke.

“Alex? Darling! I’ve been trying to ring you- are you alright? I’m watching the news. There is an intruder at the White House?! Where are you, are you safe?” He asked, not waiting a second for Alex to speak. Alex wanted to assure him he was fine- he wanted to tell him not to worry his pretty little blonde head, that he’d be home tonight, curled up on the couch- waiting for him…but he couldn’t.

“Henry…Henry, listen to me…I love you, Henry…”

“Give me the phone!” The man demanded.

“Alex- Alex why do you…is he with you? Alex?” Henry was beside himself, and Alex wanted to comfort him-tell him it would be alright.  

Alex blinked a few tears away, “Henry I-”

“Give it to me!” The man yelled again; free hand out stretched. Alex bit his quivering lip; he handed the phone to him.

“Your Royal Highness, I hope everything was worth it to you…I think you and Alex need a reminder that this isn’t a fairytale- it never fucking was.” He spoke sternly, handing the phone back to Alex.

“Listen here you little-” Henry had started.

Alex took the phone hastily into his hands, getting it to his ear as fast as he could, “Hen-Henry it’s me again. Baby listen to me I lo-” Alex gasped, jolting back but not falling. The sound of a shot being fired stunning him more than the burning sensation rushing through him like wildfire- he hadn’t noticed until he did. Until his shirt felt wet, and clung to him. He looked down at his chest, one hand gripping his phone and the other coming up to clutch the wound.

“ALEX! WAS THAT GUN FIRE?” He could hear through the phone- his panicked love. He felt winded, and his chest ached. He couldn’t tell if he had taken the bullet high or low, but he knew it was in him somehow. His chest felt tight, and he tried to find it. He dropped his phone, full panic setting in. He was shot. The first son of the United States President- shot. Alex Claremont-Diaz…shot.

Noises erupted out pf Alex, “Ah, ahhh-” he cried out, involuntarily dropping to his knees as he legs gave out. He ripped open his shirt and there was the wound- his key snapped in half, his chest bleeding below it. Somehow, he was alive. He was alive. He could breathe, and his heart was beating- he’s alive- but bleeding enough that he needed help and his chest still burned something fierce. Alex started to laugh, choking, but laughed. The last thing he sees before everything goes black is the mans’ face. The man reached into his shirt, something like a deafening silence bursts through the room, and an explosion takes out the man…takes over the room.

Henry clutched the phone to his ear. Beatrice sitting beside him, hand on his leg. They were all planted in front of the TV. When the news broke that there was an intruder in the White House. Just about every news station was covering it. They were in a meeting with the Queen when it happened. Shaan found out first from Zahra, and he rushed to alert Henry.

Alex’s voice over the phone seemed strained, “Henry…Henry, listen to me…I love you, Henry…”

He heard the voice of someone yelling, “Give me the phone!”

Henry frowned, inching to the edge of his seat, eyes darting to the TV, “Alex- Alex why do you…is he with you? Alex?” Henry tried- he spoke louder, trying to ask everything at once but only getting part of it out.

Alex spoke again, “Henry I-” Getting interrupted by the voice, “Give it to me!” The man yelled again. There was a shuffling over the phone, and Henry quickly put it on speaker for others to hear in the room. He looked to all of them.

The man spoke, “Your Royal Highness, I hope everything was worth it to you…I think you and Alex need a reminder that this isn’t a fairytale- it never fucking was.” The shuffling happening again.

Henry stood angrily, staring at his phone, “Listen here you little-” He started. Beatrice jumped up, placing a hand to his shoulder.  

Henry’s heart skipped a beat when Alex’s voice came over the phone again, “Hen-Henry it’s me again. Baby listen to me, I lo-” A loud pop was heard over the receiver, and every muscle in Henry’s body tensed. His expression fell, the blood draining from his face. He blinked once…maybe twice and then realized what he heard. Beatrice gasped, hands covering her nose and mouth as she stared at Henry’s hands.  

He opened his mouth quickly, staring at the phone, “ALEX! WAS THAT GUN FIRE?” He screamed. “ALEX ANSWER ME DAMN YOU!” Henry yelled. Alex didn’t answer him, instead he heard a thud through the phone like the many times Alex has dropped his phone on accident, and then it was quiet.

“Alex…” Henry couldn’t raise his voice any higher. His heart shattered when he heard the cries of Alex through the phone- distant and none of them words- just his cries.  

All that came through the phone was, “Ah, ahhh-” as he cried out. Henry shook his head, trying to find the words, but he stopped when Alex’s cries turned to laughter, but he started to cough, and it got worse.

“Alex, pick up the bloody phone!” Phillip yelled, clutching his brother’s shoulder.

All of them snapped their heads toward the TV when it happened, sans Henry who couldn’t move. They watched the live coverage in real time as they heard it first hand through the phone.

“Just now- live footage of an explosion from the Oval Office where they believe the First Son of The United State’s President had been waiting out orders to evacuate. Only moments ago, we saw the St. Andrew’s fourth grade class hurriedly evacuating the building, but the First Son and the Secret Service nowhere in sight.” The news broadcasted.

His family had to physically sit Henry down, take the phone from his trembling hands and yell to him to snap out of it. Henry was petrified…frozen where he sat- unable to comprehend the magnitude of what just happened. When there was no getting through to him…it hit them as well…Alex could be dead.  

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Alex’s eyes flutter open, so slowly he can’t even tell if he’s going to be able to keep them open. There is a heavy weight on his body, pinning him in place. He can barely take a deep breath- it hurts too much. He can’t turn his head to the left- it hurts too much. Something is wrong with his left arm, he can’t look, and he can’t lift his right out from under him to feel it. But he knows something is wrong- it’s with his shoulder. He doesn’t want to look, come to think of it. There is a throbbing in his skull, at the back of his head. He’s dizzy, and can only make out one sound- a buzzing sound- that hadn’t left since he opened his eyes.

Debris, falling around him. Can’t breathe. It’s quiet…except for the buzzing sound. He doesn’t move his body- he looked around with his eyes- that hurts too much. Tries to take another deep breath- can’t breathe. The smell of smoke, and an overwhelming smell of sulfur is waking up his senses. He still can’t hear anything…there is no one talking to him- no one there. His body remains still- the pressure on his waist keeping him pinned. He’s pinned- he’s not in pain from the waist down. He’s not in pain- but he’s in so much pain everywhere else. Another breath- can’t breathe. Tears stream down his face, he keeps his eyes open. Don’t close them. Don’t close your eyes- they won’t open again.

He watches ash fall beside him; papers are smoldering around him- important papers- his mothers’ papers. His mother. Books destroyed- books that have been in the White House for years before any of them. Henry would be sad. Would he be? He would. Henry. He was talking to Henry before it happened. Henry.

Tears, more and more tears fall down his face. His chest hurts when he sobs- it hurts. Does this mean he’s breathing? He can’t breathe- it’s getting harder. His eyes want to close, but he’s so fucking stubborn. He keeps them open. Someone is coming for help…someone is coming to help him. Someone.

The Oval Office…he’s in the Oval Office. The Oval Office- it was just blown up…He was there…it was because of him. More tears.

Cash. Cash was shot. The room full of secret service was blown up…because of him. More tears. He tries to look to his left again, no better- maybe worse. His head is throbbing- his throat is so dry when he tries to swallow. His chest burns- it burns so much. He wants to cough- clear his throat, but the fear of blowing out his own lungs is real. How the fuck is he alive? He’s alive. Stay. Alive. For himself- for Henry. For his family…for his mom.

Another breath and it’s excruciatingly difficult not to cry out. His chest is on fire. The room is on fire. The room. The room- he can see a little to his left and his mother’s desk is behind him- parts of it splintered on the edge above him. He wasn’t standing there before. He was much further away. The man was further away from him. The man. Alex looks across the room. He’s gone- the blast took him out. It looked like a homemade bomb…nothing capable of this. He thought that…how stupid to think that. Henry would be so disappointed.

Cash was behind him…where is Cash? Alex wants to call out- scream to all the agents in the room. There were so many… Someone has to help Cash- he was bleeding- help cash first- he wants to scream it. But to who? How long have they been there? Could be hours. He looked up, and the ceiling was intact. Of course, the ceiling would still be there, Alex. Where was the wind coming from? He could feel a breeze on him. The windows…the windows were probably blown out. He couldn’t see…he can’t look to the left. Fuck. Just fuck.

It felt like years before anyone came to their aid. Cash was probably dead…and the idea hurt more than his chest. Cash. His job is to protect Alex, and he did…he did just that. What good did it do anyone? They were both hurt now. He couldn’t protect him from this- they were all in it.

“I have the first son.” He heard muffled. What happened? He closed his eyes. He closed them- but they opened again. Thank god. He tried to breathe again- more pain. Was it getting worse? Was it the same?

There was bomb squad- he recognized them. Fire fighters- police, paramedics...storming the room. He had no clue who called out his title. He didn’t care- they were here. Another eternity spent lying there feeling immobilized and helpless. His chest- how does he tell them about his chest? He can’t even move. His left arm completely unable to move. God, he hopes it’s there. It better be there…Henry likes that hand…humor…he had humor still. That’s a good sign, right? …right?

His eyes closed again- it’s dark. He doesn’t open them again. He’s too tired…he can’t breathe and he’s To. Fucking. Tired.  

“Alexander.” His name…Alexander, so beautiful when spoken. Especially by Henry.

“Alex, we’re going to move you- okay? I need you to remain as still as possible. Can you hear me, Alex?” Henry likes to tell him he’s beautiful. Even in the mornings when he looks like shit. What did this have to do with anything? Fuck, his chest hurts.

“Alex- can you hear me?” I can hear you…the thought gets further away from him every time he repeats it to himself. It turns into Henry’s voice for a bit- asking him to speak with him- calling him from their living room. Alex. The way it rolls off his tongue so eloquently. He can’t see him- he’s too far away.

The next six hours is a blur for Henry, Beatrice and Phillip. Beatrice was a nervous wreck, Phillip came along because he knows Henry was going to be of no use until he got word on Alex, and Bea was most certainly not going to be of help-that’s for sure. Phillip and Alex had mended their relationship over the last couple years, especially when the news broke that they were going to be family. He’d mended his relationship with Henry too, and that was something they hadn’t expected to happen as easily as it did.

“Take this.” Shaan handed Henry a Zoloft. Henry refused it. He needed to be awake. He needed to be the way he was- alert and aware. He needed to be there for Alex- 100% of him. “It’s not going to change anything; it will help you.” Shaan insisted. Henry still refused.

“Brother, take it.” Phillip spoke up.

“I’m not taking it. I have to be ready to see him.” Henry said, staring out his window.

“Chances are we aren’t going to see him right away. Just take a nap, we will be arriving shortly.” Beatrice added, turning back to her magazine. He knows she’s right and her standoffish attitude is her trying to keep it together. Henry complied- it may be the last nap he takes for a long while.

When they land, they are ushered to a private vehicle, and rushed to the hospital. They are told it’s family only in the Trauma ICU- but there is a waiting room for everyone just outside the unit. Henry hears the words Trauma ICU and nothing registers. Trauma ICU. Not Just the ICU- Trauma ICU. He needs a minute. Phillip takes him by the arm, and walks him to the elevator. Several PPO’s follow. They are on high alert as of the last report that was released on the incident.

The reports say it’s not a terrorist attack. They aren’t sure he was working alone, but it wasn’t a terrorist attack. When they interviewed the teachers, they explained: “The man was there for Alex- and just Alex- he explained that…and he had a gun, and a bomb strapped to his chest. He threatened to detonate it with us there. Mr. Claremont-Diaz was brave and talked him down- he allowed us to leave…gosh, he doesn’t know how grateful we are…we all are. The parents of these children…It’s just something so horrible...I wish it ended differently…we all do.” The teachers cried during the interview.

They get up to the 3^rd floor of the hospital where the Trauma ICU sits. When they exit the elevator, it drops them right into the lobby and the waiting room for the unit. He’s flabbergasted by the amount of people occupying the space. Secret Service guard the room, the President- hysterical, sitting with her husband and ex-husband on either side of her. Trying to console her. Zahra is staring out the window all the way across the room- he notices her because she’s alone. June is beside her father, on the floor- Nora holding her. There is Amy with her wife, dabbing their eyes with tissues. No Cash- he was with Alex- of course. Phillip and Henry stall just outside the elevator- the room growing intensely quiet as all eyes fall on them.

“Henry!” June gasps, puffy face and all- runs to him. She throws herself around him, holding him so tight he feels like he might snap. He holds her back, tucks his face in her neck and they cry.

“How is he?” He whispers, voice on the brink of breaking.

“We don’t know. They’re still in surgery.” She sniffles hard.

“They?” Henry pulls away.

“Alex…Cash, and six other secret service agents…we already lost so many…it’s just-” June sobs, and Henry can’t take it. He looks away, Phillip taking June and guiding her back to Oscar. Henry can’t look at anyone. He can’t think anymore. He can’t feel anything other than the ridiculous knot forming in his chest. He looks for a safe place- there is none. He walks and finds the chapel, and he sits- far away from everyone…just for a while. One PPO standing guard.

 Talking perks up in the room among the Secret Service again, and Oscar continues to try and console June. Nora tries to get her to calm down while she tries not to cry herself.

Ellen…Ellen being the worst of them all. She’s inconsolable. The President- she tried to hold it together for so long today, until she broke. One look at her son on the gurney leading into the helicopter- she was done. She was there- she saw him. Told him to hang on- be strong. It will all be over soon. He’ll be fine…he has to be fine. Her baby. Her son. When the news broke, and they saw the explosion, calls started pouring in- wanting to know what happened. How they could help. What they needed to do. Ellen didn’t know how to respond. Zahra took over- she did it all. It was the least she could do.

Zahra, Shaan’s hand on her shoulder now. She couldn’t move…she too was there to see Alex. Not a second passed where she didn’t blame herself. She should have made him go with Ellen. Why she didn’t- well…she hates herself for it. Hates what it did to him- to Ellen. If he never stayed- the man would have kept looking until someone tackled him and stopped him. They wouldn’t be here right now. They wouldn’t.

A doctor comes out to speak with the families of the secret service agents. Paul, sustained minor injuries from the blast. He caught shrapnel in the eye, but managed to drop to the floor in time to avoid any serious damage. He may lose sight in the one eye, but he’s alive. He was furthest away in the room from the man with the bomb, and furthest from Alex. Julius was closest to Cash, having taken a blow to the head by being forced back from the blast. He too was doing alright and stable, just dealing with a concussion.

Cash, despite dealing with a gunshot wound to the arm, that traveled dangerously close to his heart- was in recovery, and his family could go see him. He has an inner ear injury that he is expected to make it through recovery. The blast is what caused it. His family flew in right away, having seen what happened, and a personal message from the White House urging them to come to be with him.

A few of the agents that were closest to Alex and the suicide bomber weren’t as lucky as Cash or the others. One took a terrible blow to the chest, having what is referred to as ‘Blast Lung’- he’s in the trauma ICU under careful watch. They don’t suspect he will make it through the night. Another was hit in the head by something in the room, a piece of furniture maybe, and suffered a severe brain bleed- she too is under observation. They aren’t sure of her outcome yet either. Lastly, the agent who was shot by the bomber, who had crept up behind him, didn’t get terrible injuries from the shot, or the blast as they thought. Having been in the other room when he got shot, going down is what got him. He had hit his head hard on the floor. He’s currently unresponsive in the ICU.

Alex was the last to be reported on- still had yet to come out of surgery. Having been in there for almost ten hours now. A nurse came out to speak with the family from time to time, only being able to give minor updates. They had learned, that in the ER they had to resuscitate him twice, both times successful and within minutes of each other. They know he has a torn rotary cuff in his left shoulder that was accompanied by a dislocation. Likely from the force of the blast throwing him back against something. They suspect he may have a spinal fracture, but most certainly a broken hip.

When the recovery team found Alex- his pelvis had been pinned down by the debris of obliterated surrounding furniture and flooring. They presumed the bomber had been standing in such a way that the blast propelled the furniture in Alex’s direction. To Alex’s luck- it absorbed a good amount of the blast, preventing him from any damage to his lungs like the unfortunate Secret Service Agent not far from him. It may have actually saved his life if anything. It didn’t mean he was in the clear- that’s for certain.

They aren’t sure of the severity of Alex’s injuries, but they can only assume being in surgery for more than ten hours isn’t a good sign…not at all.

Phillip finds Henry in the chapel, and convinces him to come back with the rest of them. They may get an answer soon. Henry complies, and follows out to them. When he meets Ellen’s eyes, he swallows. She stands up and slowly they head toward each other. Arms out stretched and soon they are hugging. They’d never hugged like this before- not really ever.

“He’s going to be alright.” Henry finally says- not so sure he believes himself. Tears pricking his eyes as Ellen nods her head into his shoulder. “He has to be…he’s too damn stubborn.” Henry sucks in a breath and Ellen laughs softly, but it turns back into quiet sobs. She pulls away, holds his face in her hands and looks him over.

“He’s lucky to have you…I tell him that every time I see you two together.” She says, trying to smile through her tears. It’s hard, but she manages a very forced expression. She pats his cheek gentle and turns back to Leo. He takes her, and holds her. Oscar rubs her back. Henry hasn’t a fucking clue how he’s going to get through these next hours…or days even…but he’s going to for Alex. The love of his god damn life. The man he plans to marry- and as soon as Alex is through this- they will. No more waiting for the right time. It’s been long enough.

11 Hours in Surgery…

Someone got food- they aren’t sure who, but sandwiches, coffee and water were brought to them. Ellen forced herself to eat, and June tried a little. Nora wolfed down half an egg salad sandwich, and Oscar took the other half.

Phillip got tea for Henry, and shared a chicken salad sandwich with him. Henry wasn’t hungry, but much like Ellen, he forced himself. He sat, elbows dug into the tops of his knees, face firmly planted in his palms. He was sick to his stomach. He wanted to know something- anything! Everyone did.

“Mom!” June perked up, grabbing Ellen’s arm. Ellen looked up and saw two of Alex’s doctors walking down the hallway just beyond the door. They pulled off their scrub caps, ran hands through their hair and pushed through the door together. Everyone chose to stay back, and give them space to talk.

“How is he? Is he okay?” Oscar spoke first.

“Can we see him?!” June added. Henry stood quickly to stand beside June.

“Please tell us he’s alright.” Ellen sucked in a shaky breath, ready to crumble if they say anything otherwise.

“Madam President…and family.” He started, wringing the cap in his hands. “Alex suffered quite a remarkable number of injuries. The more we worked, the more injuries presented themselves. He’s not as stable as we’d like for him to be, but this is very common considering the trauma he just endured. It’s going to be a very challenging recovery for Alex from here. Most times in situations like these we keep patients under close watch for 48 hours for follow up symptoms for any underlying conditions. It’s important you let him rest tonight, and to keep visitors down to two persons at a time. Do you have a moment to talk? I’d like to talk a little more in detail with you, Madam President?” He directed to Ellen, and extended it to Leo and Oscar. They nodded, and followed the doctors through the doors.

Henry felt a stabbing pain in his chest from practically being ignored as a member of family. He’s his fiancé for heavens sake. He should be in there discussing these things!

“I know, I feel the same way…they will tell us everything- don’t worry.” June said, touching Henry’s shoulder. She could see his tense nature, and the anger creeping up inside him just by the way he was biting his lower lip. He pulled away from her, realizing he was being selfish all of a sudden. He’d see Alex soon- that’s all that mattered. Even though soon didn’t feel like a good enough answer.  

“Henry.” His name called without his title- he knew it was one of Alex’s parents. Oscar stood at the door, looking at him just as he was about to sit. He waved him over. Henry was hesitant, but he went.

“Yes, Mr. Diaz?” He asked, stopping just before the entrance. His face flushing immediately as their eyes met. Can he go see Alex? Is he allowed?  

“Put this on, Mijo. It’s so you can go in and out freely. There won’t be many of these, so I want you to have mine. I’ll sneak another one.” Oscar said, handing him a red plastic wristband. On it said: ICU VISITOR. Henry almost cried…no, he did cry. He threw himself into Oscar, and Oscar hadn’t realized what it meant until he thanked him.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. Oscar softened, and hugged Henry back, wishing he knew how this was hurting Henry. He knows how it’s hurting him- he’s Alex’s father…but to love someone…like he’s loved Ellen before- still does. What it means to watch someone you love so dearly go through something so horrible or life altering.

“Go have a seat, we’re going to fill you all in as soon as we know more.”

“Alright.” Henry sniffled, gripping the red band in his hand. Oscar disappeared behind the door and Henry watched as he walked and then turned into a room. The door closed, and Henry’s heart sank. What could they possibly be telling them that they couldn’t say to everyone else? That could never be a good sign...none of what’s happening is a good sign.  

An hour had passed of them talking, and Henry was growing impatient. June was sleeping in Nora’s lap, and she was gingerly brushing fingers through her hair, looking out the window. Shaan had tried to take Zahra home to sleep, but she refused. She had to be here- for Alex- if not for Ellen. She did get a chance to go see Cash, which was hard enough, but she could power through it for Alex.

Soon enough, Ellen, Oscar and Leo came back to them. Ellen’s face was still tear stained, probably will be until she can be with her son. Ellen couldn’t talk, so Oscar filled them in. They sat across from each other, patiently waiting for Oscar to talk.

“So, guys…uh, Alex is pretty banged up.” Is how he started it. They’d never seen Oscar so scared- neither of them… “His injuries were much worse than they had thought…For starters, like they told us before, his shoulder injury was pretty bad…He had to have surgery to correct the dislocation and they did their best about the tears...Those will have to heal in time. They think he might need another surgery once it’s healed a little.” Oscar paused to clear his throat. He stopped making eye contact with everyone, staring at the floor. “He, uh…Yeah.” Oscar cleared his throat again, he scrubbed a hand over his mouth, and stood hastily. He threw his hands out in front of him, a signal of defeat. He couldn’t continue.

“Mom.” June spoke up, clutching her chest. Ellen nodded, and turned to her people. Her family. She swallowed her pain, and put on the very voice of the President.

“Like Oscar said…He hurt his shoulder, they found some bleeding in his chest that they controlled…he…” She paused as Oscar did. “…had been shot, and thankfully it was deflected by his sternum…they aren’t sure how…but it did minimal damage to him. It could have been worse they said…and uh, he…uh.” Her voice was breaking as she spoke. She blinked a few times, tears falling onto her skirt. She had yet to change out of her work attire.

Without hesitation, Henry reached his hand out, and she took it after a moment. Nora put her hand on top, and June after. Bea put her hands on Henry’s shoulders, quietly waiting. Suddenly they realized everyone had been holding each other in one way or another. Unwavering support- exactly what Alex needs now. Ellen was overwhelmed with the actions, but kept on.

“During the blast they think he smacked his head on something, which resulted in a skull fracture. He’s suspected to have a mild concussion, but they won’t know the severity of it until much later…when he wakes up. They put him into a medically induced coma to help him heal, so once they see it fit, he’ll be out for a bit.”

“Is that it?” June asked, touching her hands to her mouth.

“No…unfortunately not.” Ellen shook her head. Leo squeezed her shoulder. He looked at everyone, and took a breath before finishing for her.

“Alex’s left hip is broken, and he tore some abdominal muscles. They had to also put a rod in his back to stabilize a fracture in his spine.”

“Wait…what? He broke his back?” Nora exclaimed angrily. Henry clenched his jaw, closing his eyes.

“A small part of it…they think it happened during the explosion. It’s called, a…uh.” Leo looked up to the ceiling for the answers.

“Chance Fracture.” Ellen stated.

“Right, a Chance Fracture.” Leo nodded.

“Well, what the fuck does that mean?” Nora kept on.

“Nora.” June warned.

“No, June! This is fucking bullshit-” Nora jumped from her chair. “Alex is in that fucking hospital bed with a broken back and that coward of a fucking prick is gone- dealing with none of this! It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair!” Nora screamed. Stomping her foot, and thrashing her arms like a child. Oscar put his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. He whispered something to her, trying to calm her. June looked away, unable to watch Nora absolutely lose it. She wanted to do the same…but it felt wrong. She wanted to bring that asshole back from the dead and make him suffer- but she can’t. No one can.

“In short, Alex has a broken hip, with a spine fracture…they aren’t sure what the future holds for him right now…they won’t know till he’s awake…they said…He may not be able to walk again…”

That’s when Henry’s done. He rips his hands away from them, terrified. Not a single person in that room can pull themselves together for more than seconds at a time. He’s done being upset- he wants to be there for Alex. Now.

Henry pushes past them, and over to the desk.

“Can I go see him? Is that allowed now?” Henry asks, hands planted on the countertop. The nurse is looking back at him unsure.

“Henry, wait…they said.” Leo starts.

“Fuck what they said!” Henry yells, looking toward them. “I’ve sat here for the last fucking oh, I have no idea how many hours crying and being scared for him with the lot of you. He needs one of us or all of us. I’m not going to sit here while he’s in there alone. They said two people, so who the hell is coming with?” Henry stood taller, jutting out his chin. “Hmm? Or am I going alone?” Henry swallowed, nervous about his actions and how quiet the room became because of it.

Zahra stepped forward, Shaan behind her.

“I’ll go.” She said and Henry looked to her.  

“Okay…good.” He kept nodding, and then back to the nurse. “Well? How ‘bout it then? May we go in…please.” He adds at the end for good measure. She hangs up the phone and nods.

“They said you are welcome back, T-ICU room 5.” She said, hitting the button and allowing the door to open. Zahra stepped forward, and Ellen grabbed her hand.

“…I’m going. That’s my son.” She said. Zahra and Ellen share a rather tense and awkward exchange of eye contact, Henry notices. Zahra stepped back, and allowed her through.

“Yes, Madam President.” She nods sternly.

Henry and Ellen start into the ICU, the door closes behind them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Henry and Ellen are directed down a hall through another set of doors by the nursing staff. When they enter, the unit is so much quieter than the rest of the hospital, and the lighting is darker. The room is a nearly perfect circle, with ten rooms all the way around. Each having their own personal sliding glass doors. The only noise on the floor is coming from the nurse’s station in the center of the room and any monitors beeping, or casual alarms going off. The faint sound of ventilators is another sound they aren’t used too, but it’s what sticks out the most when they realize it’s coming from nearly every room apart from maybe a few with alert patients. Two secret service agents were sent over to man the room, which some thought to be a little overkill, but Ellen wasn’t taking any more chances- not today.

    Henry and Ellen’s hands were barely touching as they walked side by side, but as they drew closer to room 5, just around the bend of the nurses’ station, their knuckles touched, and then Ellen slipped her hand into Henry’s- gripping it tightly. He hadn’t noticed he was beginning to grip it back until he felt a twinge of pain in his palm. He eased up, but Ellen held firm. They got to the door, and the curtain was pulled just around the base of the bed. They could see a nurse in the room, doing a couple things just beyond the edge of the curtain, and the door was closed.

“Excuse me, are you here for a patient?” The nurse asked, coming up behind them. Ellen turned and the Nurse’s eyes grew wide.  

“Oh my goodness. M-Madam President. I’m so sorry…uh, are you here for- well obviously you are…I’m so sorry about your son.” She managed out of her embarrassment. She then recognized Henry and fumbled over her words even worse. “Your, uh, Your Highness.” She bowed her head. Henry hadn’t acknowledged her; he was fixed on the curtain…terrified to see what awaited him from behind it.

“You can go in; they’re just doing a vitals check.” She said, motioning for them to go forward. Ellen nodded, and turned to Henry. She fixed her eyes on the curtain too, and squeezed his hand.

“When you’re ready.” Henry whispered.

“…Are you?” She swallowed.

“I…I dunno.” They didn’t move. However, they had no choice once the Band-Aid was ripped off due to the nurse swinging the curtain open. She tucked it back to allow the nurses station clear view of Alex. Ellen’s breath caught in her throat, her heart sinking into her stomach at the sight of him. Henry’s body stiffened, and he unconsciously took a few steps back.

Alex was laid out almost completely flat, at just the slightest angle, with a donut like, pale yellow sponge for a pillow under his head to keep him stabilized. Down his body- his left arm had bulky bandaging from his neck to approximately his elbow, and was in a navy blue sling type apparatus that kept it close to his body. From his waist and all the way down his left leg, he was completely casted in white.

“I know it’s difficult, but he will really appreciate hearing your voices, I’m sure of it.” The nurse from his room said when she saw them. “Come on in.” She motioned them.

“Henry…I don’t know if I can.” She had tears in her eyes.

“I’ll be right there…if it’s too much.” He said, and in that moment, she was more than grateful he was by her side for this. They walked in together and the nurse’s name was Gretta.

“I was just in here to take his vitals, and now we’re going to let him rest a bit. The doctor spoke with you, correct?” She asked, and Ellen nodded in response- eyes glued on Alex.

With a closer look at him, it was horrifying to her as his mother. He had swollen black eyes, and the ventilator he was hooked up to, took up most of his lower face. The sticky pads and strap holding it in place looked uncomfortable, and she wanted to fix it for him… she wanted to take him home- hold him close and fix all his cuts and bruises. She just wants to help him, but there is nothing she can do but wait.

“We have him on a steady flow of pain management medications, so he’s comfortable. The induced coma is to help him heal. He’d have a harder time in recovery if we only had him on pain medication. So far, he’s responding well to everything. He’s a tough cookie this one.” She smiled, stepping out of the room. “Feel free to go up to him. Just watch the cords around the left side of the bed.” She explained. She closed the door for them to have privacy.

Ellen walked up to her son’s right side, leaving Henry’s hand behind. She got as close as she could without touching any important tubes or wires attached to him and leaned over to brush a hand over his hair. The curls were freshly combed by the nurses, but she could tell it was the best that could be done with his head injury. She placed her other hand on his shoulder and rubbed the purple and yellow bruised skin there.

“Hi, Sugar…it’s mom…” Ellen’s voice broke, and there was a long pause as she tried not to cry. His entire chest was bandaged from where they retrieved the bullet, and she could see how much damage he’d taken by how swollen and bruised ever bit of him was.  

“Sugar…” Her voice shook, “I’m so sorry…I’m so, so sorry…I’m gonna make this right…We’re looking into it, my baby, we all are. We’re gonna get justice for this.” She said over him. His chest would rise and fall rhythmically as the ventilator breathed for him. “You’re gonna be just fine, and you’re gonna be so strong after this…I just know it.” She continued, petting his hair.

Henry had given her a bit of privacy and found the bag of Alex’s belongings on the counter in the room. He went over, and opened it. Inside was what he had on him at the time. His guest pass on the lanyard from that morning, his shoes, and a smaller bag with jewelry in it. His shirt and pants were missing, and Henry remembers they probably had to cut it off of him in the ER. The chain from his neck with the house key missing half of the blade and his signet ring was there. Where the key was cut off looked to be dented in and had soot on it. His signet ring was slightly dented as well. Also in the baggy was Alex’s engagement ring. They had taken it off for surgery most likely. From what he can tell, his left hand was swollen anyway so no use to put it back on. He took the necklace out, laced the engagement band on it, and clasped it around his neck. He shoved it into his shirt and held it against his chest. For safe keeping- until Alex can wear it again.

His wallet was at the bottom of the bag, and made a mental note to take all of this with him just to be safe.  

Henry migrated up to his left side, watching for the wires and tubing and reached out to run his fingers over the back of Alex’s hand. He didn’t want to move his left arm in fear of hurting him, so he just kept his fingers to the skin. The more he looked at Alex’s face, the more he wanted to scream. Find the man who did this- make him pay for his actions.  

Ellen wouldn’t take her eyes off Alex for a second. Henry wanted to thread his fingers through Alex’s hair too, but refrained. He’ll get his chance to be closer...to show him the love he most definitely needs and deserves.

“I’ll give you a minute with him, honey. I want to talk to the nurses.” Ellen said, touching Alex’s shoulder before stepping back. She nodded to Henry and left the room. Henry watched as she left, and now he was alone…Even with Alex being there…he felt so very, very alone. Eventually Henry moved into Ellen’s spot, and took hold of Alex’s right hand. He gently brought it up to his mouth and kissed the skin. It was warm, and smelled like hospital- not typically how he usually smells but it’s there- under all the disinfectants, and medications...His Alex.

He hates himself for it, but his mind wandered to a time with his dad, and him being sick. How he smelled, and how his skin felt against his own- dry and his hands limp…it felt all too familiar- too similar of a memory he’s had for years. His dad however, there was nothing they could do. He was sick, and dying- living unapologetically with his diagnosis. Henry knew there was going to be an end for him…what he doesn’t know is Alex’s outcome and it makes his insides twist.   

Henry pulled over a chair from near by and kept his hand inside Alex’s. He kept watch on Alex’s face, knowing he wasn’t going to wake up just like that, but he wishes. He wants to start talking, but he doesn’t know what to say. He’s not sure back then that his father could hear him, so is it a waste of time?

“…I, er…I have your necklace.” He starts. “Yeah, I put it on for safe keeping…I hope you don’t mind.” Henry sniffles, rubbing the necklace through his shirt. “It’s Henry by the way…not that you can’t tell that by the accent.” He chuckled to himself. His smile fell almost instantly. God, he felt so stupid…like he was talking to a wall. The nurses say he can hear them- but what does he listen for? Affirmation that they are here, or confirmation that he’s alive? General conversation? What? Is it supposed to be all positive things? He doesn’t know, so he speaks what’s on his mind.

“I need for you to get better…I know that sounds horribly selfish but this isn’t how you’re supposed to go. Not yet…When I got the news this morning about everything…I just about lost my damn mind. I thought you were being taken from me, and I was miles away- unable to reach you. Your voice on the phone- Alex, it broke my heart.” Henry couldn’t help the choked sob that escaped his throat. He took a few deep breaths, but the anxiety crippling his mind wouldn’t allow him to stop seeing the explosion on TV- it wouldn’t allow him to stop hearing Alex calling his name- telling him he loved him in such a panic. The gun shot- the man’s voice. The last kiss they shared before he boarded his plane to London. Before all of this happened.

Henry stood from his chair, dropping Alex’s hand, having frightened himself enough. His body had gone numb, and his mind shut off. A coping mechanism he’d grown accustomed to before meeting Alex. If he just shuts down- he won’t think about it. If he shuts down- he has no problems. But it’s not true- any of that because he’s going to think about. He can’t stop. He sees it over and over again. He hears voices telling him he loves him, but he doesn’t know if they are Alex’s anymore, but he wants it to stop. He can’t take it- he can’t do this right now.

Ellen comes back into the room, and spots Henry just standing there, looking out toward the wall across from him. She walks up cautiously, and places a hand to the back of his shoulder.

“You alright?” She asks. Henry flinches, making Ellen jump by accident.

“S…sorry.” Henry sniffles, ragged breaths taking him over. He scrubs a hand over his face, and the tears are still flowing. She goes to hug him, and he throws himself away from her. He can’t do this right now.   

“I can’t. I can’t do this. I just…god, I need…I can’t.” Henry storms out of the room, needing air immediately. Ellen calls for him- he keeps going.

Out in the waiting room where they all sit waiting to see Alex, Henry comes barreling through the doors and toward the elevator.

“Henry?” Beatrice stands from her chair. He can’t do this right now.

“Henry where are you going?” Phillip starts over to him. Henry is scrubbing his face with his hands, trying not to lose it. He intertwines his fingers at the crown of his head, trying to take deep breaths, and pace as he waits for the elevator to reach their floor.

“He’s having a panic attack, Pip.” Beatrice urged Phillip forward. Shaan springs into action and is beside Henry before anyone else is. He takes him by the arm followed by another PPO and when the elevator doors open, they are inside in seconds and taking it to the ground floor.

Henry wants to puke- and curl into a ball somewhere secluded and dark. He wants to be far away from this hospital as humanly possible.

When they got out of the elevator, Henry darts toward the exit and stops just outside, finding a grassy patch. His hands are on his knees and he vomits. Shaan stands beside him, hand on his back- trying to help him. Henry is so thankful it’s night time. Even thought there are lights everywhere- it’s still too dark to see him where he stands being sick. The last thing he wants is photos of him throwing up on the next cover of People. Reports and photographers have been steaking out all night to get just about anything. No respect for privacy.

“Get it all out?” Shaan asks. Henry nods, still bent over and trying to regain his composure. Henry’s shaking when he does stand, and he takes the napkin Shaan hands to him. He’s told to wipe his mouth and take a seat on the bench. Shaan knows he doesn’t want to leave- he just needs a minute to breath air that isn’t stale and full of hospital smells.

“Do you feel alright?” Shaan asks. He noticed Henry’s trembling hands and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a bottle and offers a pill to Henry. Henry takes it willingly, and swallows it dry.

“I just need a minute.” Henry says.

“I know…take your time. I’ll be here with you.” Shaan says, taking a seat beside him. They are quiet for as long as they sit there. Shaan knows Henry, and as soon as he ready to go back he’ll stand up and head into the hospital. Right now- he’s focusing on his breathing and trying desperately not to send himself into a full-blown panic attack.

He hates that he runs when he gets scared. It makes him feel foolish, and immature. For once he wants to be that brave person, he always says he’s become and stay grounded. It hurts him more that he knows he left Alex’s side…all because of that stupid fear of his.

Ellen is still holding her son’s hand when Oscar comes in.

“How’s he doin?” He asks. And Ellen looks over her shoulder to see Oscar lingering in the doorway.

“He’s doing alright. Just like the doctor was saying, he’s out and they have him on pain meds.” She said, turning back to Alex. Oscar comes in more and freezes about two feet away from the bed.

“He looks…peaceful.” Oscar mumbles.

“Peaceful?” Ellen questions, glaring at him.

“I don’t know what else to say, Ellen.” Oscar frowns.

“How about broken! He’s broken, Oscar…and it’s my fault he’s like this…I should have fought to keep him with me. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.” She grimaces, holding Alex’s hand tighter.

“Ellen…you couldn’t have seen what was coming.”

“I did, Oscar…I knew he was in the building- I told Za…I told them I wanted him with me, they said no.” She sniffled, covering her mouth with her hand.

Oscar furrowed his brow, “Who told you no?”

“No one.” Ellen shook her head.

“Clearly it was someone, El. You started to say something that sounded like Zahra…Zahra told you not to take Alex?”

Ellen was quiet. She was pissed really, and more so upset with herself for blaming Zahra in the first place. This wasn’t her fault, but it felt better to blame someone in that moment than feel like she let her son down.

Oscar opens and closes his mouth a few times before he says, “The only person to blame for this is whoever it was…are they looking into it?”

“They are doing surveillance checks, and everything they possibly can. Last I heard they got statements and they know who it was…I haven’t asked…I personally don’t want to know right now. I just want to be here for him.”

“How did he get Alex’s badge?”

Ellen closed her eyes, “Oscar…not now, okay? I just want-”

“Ellen, there isn’t much we can do. We’re here with him…doesn’t mean we can’t discuss-”

She shook her head, slamming a hand on the chair’s armrest, “I don’t want to discuss any of it, god dammit! Get it through your thick fucking head already!” Ellen snapped. “If you want to discuss something so bad- go join the team of people working their asses off right now to figure this shit out. In the meantime, my job isn’t to be the President of the United States of American- it’s to be a mother- and be here for my son. So please, leave if you’re just going to talk my ear off about hypotheticals and theories. I don’t want to hear it!”

Oscar didn’t have much to say in response to that. Instead, he backed out of the room silently, going back to the waiting room. Ellen hadn’t looked over her shoulder again- she didn’t have to, to know she pushed him away. Another pang of guilt struck her…Alex is his son too…he’s just worried, and wants justice just as much as she does. They just go about it so differently.

In the waiting room, Nora was holding a sleeping June in her lap, and Beatrice was pacing- hoping her brother was alright wherever he ran off to. Phillip assured her everything was fine. It’s not the first time and it’s not the last, most likely. These things take time, and Henry isn’t historically the best when it comes to things like this…especially if it involves Alex. Alex is his everything, and to see him so hurt and unreachable- it’s destroying him, they know it. Alex had skinned a good portion of his leg from falling off a bike one afternoon in the park, and Henry just about held it together then.

“What are you going to do one day when we have kids? You know kids get hurt left and right…don’t you?” Alex laughed.

“You may have to handle all that.” Henry shook his head, standing by watching as Cash tended to Alex’s leg with peroxide and bandages. Alex rolled his eyes, and winced as the peroxide stung him.

Oscar joined them again, only for a little while before he announced he was going to go home and get some sleep. There wasn’t much to be done, and Ellen wanted time with Alex. Nora suggested she bring June home and that they would be right back here tomorrow, bright and early. Beatrice and Phillip were going to stay at a hotel nearby, as not to impose on the rest of them. However, June wouldn’t have it. They are family and there is plenty of space for them- just like when they go to London.

So back to the White House they went. Upon leaving they found Henry and Shaan on a bench out front of the hospital. Henry had been leaning forward with his head in his hands while Shaan checked his phone.

“Hey, here you are.” Nora smiled sympathetically. Henry looked up- mortified.

“Did you all come here to find me?” He frowned, blushing probably as deep as an over ripe tomato. Thankfully no one could tell in the dim light where they sat.

“No, actually. We’re headed home to sleep for a bit. Mom is with Alex, and if anything happens, she’ll let us know. It’s just best we all get some sleep, and return tomorrow. Why don’t you come with?” June said, extending her hand to him. Henry ceased, staring at it. His jaw clenched and he shook his head.

“I don’t mean to be difficult, but I want to stay here.”

“That’s fine. We’re going to be back home…they gave us clearance to return to the White House. So, if you want to sleep, we’ll be there. Alex’s bed is all yours.” June explained. Henry nodded, and sat straighter.

He doesn’t want Alex’s bed. He wants to be home in their bed in New York- happy and tangled together in their sheets. Warm and comfortable, not in pain.

Henry decided it’d be best to go back up to see Alex. He felt better, less anxious and that probably had to do with the medication kicking in. When they returned to the waiting room, Zahra was sitting alone again, staring into her phone. Shaan excused himself from Henry and took to his bride.

“I’ll be just out here, if you need me.” He said before they parted ways. Henry was allowed back, and decided he’d take an alternate route before heading toward Alex’s room.

He knocked on the door, and a quiet ‘come in’ spoke out.

“Hi, there.” Henry smiled, waving at the man in the hospital bed. Cash smiles up at Henry- god he looks exhausted and beaten to shit. “I’m so sorry to bother you. I just wanted to see how you were doing? I know visiting hours are over, but I snuck down here.” Henry’s bashful smile keeps Cash smiling.

“You’re not bothering me. My family just left for the night. I’m doing alright. I can’t hear out of my right ear all too well, but it will get better they said.” He explained.

“And the gun shot wound?” Henry asked, crossing his arms.

“Painful, but they are managing it well for me.” He said, looking at his left arm in the sling across his chest.

“Good.” Henry nods.

There is a pause, “How’s our boy?” Cash asks.

“…I have to admit that I was too skittish to stay with him. He doesn’t look good…but they said he’s doing quite well actually.” Henry looks at his feet.

Cash nods. “Yeah…they wouldn’t tell me much. They said he was alive, and I guess that’s all I needed to know.” Henry thinks that isn’t fair to Cash. Why wouldn’t they tell him anything? The man practically saved the kids life.  

“You caught that for him…didn’t you?” Henry asked, pointing to Cash’s arm.

“Yeah…If I didn’t, I guess it would have taken him out before the explosion.”

“Thank you.” Henry says, timidly.

“Just doing my job.” Cash grins and it fades quickly. “Do they think he’ll recover?” Cash asks.

“They do…it will be a long road to recovery…but yes, they do think he will. It’s hard to believe with how he looks right now, but it’s early yet. He’s been through so much.”

“Yeah…he has.” Cash takes a deep breath.

“Not to say you haven’t.” Henry quickly adds.

“No, no. I wasn’t thinking that at all. Henry, much like all your PPOs- I took this job knowing that one day I could end up here. This is my life, and I chose it. If anything happens to Alex…it’s my job to take the fall, and it’s the truth that I’ve been terrified of getting shot and losing my life on any given day. Now that’s it happened...” Cash pauses. “…well, let’s just say there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Alex going forward. I almost lost him today…it won’t happen again.”

Henry stayed with Cash for a little while longer until a nurse kindly told him to leave. He said he’d visit him again soon, and Cash told him to go sit with Alex. He needs him more…and vice versa.

Henry arrived at Alex’s room back in the trauma ICU. Ellen had been standing away from the bed, and watching a few nurses tending to Alex.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Henry asked, rushing to Ellen’s side.

“Nothing, hon. The doctor wanted to check his wounds.” She said. “Are you alright?” Ellen looked at him. Henry gulped, and nodded toward her.

“I just needed air…I’m sorry about my behavior earlier.”

“Don’t apologize...this isn’t easy for any of us.” Ellen explained, placing a hand on Henry’s arm.  

“I know.” Henry nods, watching them tend to Alex’s chest incision. The wound on his chest had apparently leaked a considerable amount of fluid, so to prevent the skin from staying too wet they changed out his bandages and cleaned him up.

“You can sit with him again.” They said, leaving the room. Ellen let Henry take her place, but stood by him.

“I’m here with you.” She touched his shoulder. Henry nodded and reached out for Alex’s hand. This time- no running. He’s here to stay.

“Everyone went home.” Henry told her. Ellen was quiet. “They needed sleep…and I didn’t want to go. If he’s here…I’m here.”

“They have cots.” Ellen explained. Henry acknowledged her, and kept his eyes on Alex.

“Do you really think he can hear us?” He asked.

“I think so…they say he can.” She shrugged.

“I hope so.” Henry smiles softly, squeezing Alex’s limp hand. “…I truly hope so.”

~~~~~~~~

A bright white room with tall ceilings and gold trim, overlook the city of Paris. Inside the room is a large king sized bed, a dining area, a place to sit in front of a fire place, and doors leading to unknown areas of the room. All the furniture is white, and pearly and the only colors that stand out are golds and off whites. The five windows overlooking the city scape are open, making the long sheer curtains flow effortlessly. A gentle, crisp breeze is blowing in and out of the room making it smell of fresh air and freshly baked croissants.

“Henry?” Alex asks, sitting up in bed. He’s nearly swallowed by the plush bedding, finding it hard to sit upright. He looks around quietly, and hopes that something screams at him. No notes, no sign of him.

“Henry, are you here?” Alex calls out again, his voice hoarse. The room is beautiful and Alex takes notice.

Where is David? No, why would David be here. He misses David though.

Alex gets out of bed, and it takes him a minute. He has to think about his feet for an odd amount of time before he’s able to push forward and stand on them. He’s unsure, but they feel heavy. When he begins to walk it’s smooth, like he’s gliding over ice. A strange sensation rises in his arms like pins and needles. It’s uncomfortable, but he ignores it.

The door to the room opened, no backdrop falling into view, just darkness and Henry emerges from it. He’s cheery and elated to see Alex up and about.

“My love, you’re awake! I was just coming to be with you.”

“Where did you go?” Alex asks, wrapping himself around him.

“I had to run an errand or two. Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for a while.”

“I feel like I have. I don’t feel good, like I’m sluggish.” Alex explains.

“You’re beautiful, my love.” Henry says, kissing his cheek. Alex knows henry ignored him, but the thought disappears instantly like it didn’t matter.

“This place is so lovely. When did we get here?” Alex asks.

“We’ve been here a while, love. I wanted to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy.” Alex says back.

“I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” Henry adds, rubbing his arms.

“I am.” Alex furrows his brow.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Henry continues, and Alex is getting uncomfortable.

“Me either…Henry what’s wrong?”

Henry is quiet, but he can feel how tense his hands are. He’s looking at Henry and he’s tired, but content. “Henry.” He speaks again.

“He’s fine.” A female voice says behind him.

“Mom?” Alex looks over at her. “What are you doing here?”

“He’s going to be fine. He has to be.” She shrugs and her hands are on his shoulders now. Alex feels lost, and annoyed.

“Who will?” He asks sternly.

“Alex, would you like tea?” Alex snaps back to reality and notices his mother is gone. Henry isn’t beside him, but across the room pouring tea into two cups.

“Sure.” Alex smiles- all that forgotten. He mosey’s on over to Henry and takes a seat by the window. There is a car that keeps beeping in the street, and it’s rhythmic. He drones it out. Henry talks to him again, across from him at the table.

“What do you want to do today?” Henry asks.

“Stay in bed with you?” Alex asks.

“Absolutely, I would do anything for you. So, if you want to lay in bed, we will.”

“Where’s David?”  

“At home.” Henry answers.

“Where are we?”

“Where do you want us to be?” Henry asks.

“What?” Alex asks.

“More tea?” Henry asks, and the cup overflows as he pours it. His hands are warm, and he’s watching the tea run over them. He doesn’t protest. The tea runs red after a minute- it gets thicker. He blinks and he’s at the White House looking down at his hands still. Under them is Cash, bleeding out, and Alex can’t stop it. He’s bleeding too, but he’s fine. The room in post explosion, and it rushes back to him. Is he dead? No- he’s alive. Is Cash dead? He’s breathing.

Alex shakes out his head, and screams like he’s been shot again. He’s back in the white room in Paris and Henry stops pouring the tea.

“I’m so sorry love.” Henry taps his head, and giggles. He reaches for napkins and starts pressing it down on the table cloth.  

“It’s alright.” Alex laughs nervously, shaking off the tea.

“I don’t know what happened. I’m so silly.” Henry continues.

“I don’t either.” Alex laughs with him. He stands up, and goes to wash his hands. He opened the door to the bathroom and it’s beautiful and the room stretches so wide. There is a huge tub in the center, and he thinks about getting Henry in there.

Henry’s still cleaning when Alex returns and he takes a second to go over to the window. He looks out, and feels the breeze on his face. He sighs so deeply, and inhales so contently just taking it all in.

“I love it here…I don’t want to go home.” Alex shakes his head.

“Then we stay as long as you want.” Henry smiles, walking up and taking Alex into his arms. He presses a kiss to Alex’s neck and he melts.

“Yeah, let’s stay.” He swallows.

~~~~~~~~

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Induced Coma Day 2

Henry hadn’t slept a wink since he arrived in the states. He held Alex’s hand the entire night while Ellen got some sleep. She protested, but out of everyone there- she needed it most. Henry could have shut his eyes for a bit, but he refused.

When Ellen woke, it was 6:30 in the morning. Not much had changed with Alex other than a couple more vital checks, emptying of his urine bag, and a visit from the doctor for wound checks. He said Alex’s wounds were looking good. They wanted to maintain the cleanliness of his incisions, but in order not to dry them out and cause infection they refrained from changing the bandaging too much.

Ellen went to get coffee and something to eat, and offered her cot to Henry. He once again refused, but when he started to dose off in his chair, he knew it was probably best to lie down for a bit. When he woke it was already 3 in the afternoon. Two visitors had come and gone in Ellen’s place. To his surprise, it was June sitting there in the chair beside Alex.

“Mm, morning.” Henry stretched, draping his legs over the side of the cot. June looked over and grinned at him. She was quiet, and just staring at Alex’s face.

“Who has been in?” Henry asks.

“Just me, Nora, and Leo. They’re out in the waiting room. I think it’s so stupid we can’t have more than two people in here.”

“I understand it for the noise aspect…but I agree. I can step out if you’d like to have Nora here.” Henry suggested, standing and stretching out his back.

“It’s alright…It’s not like it makes a difference.” June shrugs.

“Right.” Henry sniffs. He walks over to Alex’s side and with his hands on his hips he stares at him crooked.

“I miss his laugh…I know it’s only been two days, but I didn’t get to talk to him yesterday when he called me.”

“He called you?” Henry asked.

“Yeah, it was early…I was busy with an article I was writing…I declined his call.” June confessed, and Henry could hear the guilt in her voice.

“I’m sorry, June.”

“You spoke to him before it happened, right?” June looked up at him. Henry nodded. “What did he say?” June asked.

Henry took a breath, and clapped his hands together, “Um, he was frantic, and was just saying he loved me…not to assume he doesn’t love you all- it was just in the moment.” Henry’s eyes dart to the floor.

“No, yeah…of course.” June shook her head. She’d been crying for a while, Henry could tell.

“June.” Henry spoke up. June met Henry’s eyes. “He loves you so very much…I know this because it’s something he and I bonded over years ago about how much we love our big sisters. He wouldn’t want you obsessing over something so trivial.”

“Sure he would.” June said, a smile forming. “He’d be saying, see, this is why you always answer my calls! Look what happens when you don’t!” She mocked in a deeper voice. “And then find some way to blame me for it.” She laughs, but tears are streaming down her face. “It’s so stupid…it’s so fucking stupid.” June laughs again and her voice is quivering. Henry can’t help the way his heart twists into knots for her.

“I’m gonna take a break.” June sniffles, and stands up with Alex’s hand still in hers. She puts it down gingerly and wipes her hands on her sweat pants and leaves the room. Henry wants to say something, but he refrains.

He takes a moment and goes over to Alex’s side while he’s alone.

“Good afternoon, Love.” He says, leaning over the bed and placing a kiss to his forehead. “You’re looking better already.” He smiles, petting his hair. “I’m sorry about yesterday…I was nothing but a wreck, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“How’s the kid?” A male voice speaks up.

Henry looks over his shoulder and smiles at the visitor.

“Oh, just fine.” Henry says. Luna walks in and stops when he sees Alex. It seems to be everyone’s reaction upon seeing Alex. They stop- realize how severely he’s been hurt and it takes them a second to really absorb it. Raf’s face drops, and his whole demeanor changes.

“I…I didn’t think he’d look-” Raf pauses, and swallows. “I mean he looks…” He can’t continue. “Not like himself.” He furrows his brow in thought.

“Yes, I know.” Henry agrees, still petting his hair.

“Did they give any new updates?”

“Only that he’s responding well to the medications, and his wounds look good.”

“Good.” Raf nods, and he realizes he’s been wringing the visitors pass in his hands he’s been holding and now it’s practically ruined. “I hope they don’t want this back.” Raf laughs, and stares down at it. Henry watches as Luna’s tough exterior diminishes over time. When he looks at Alex again an expression of irritation washes over his face.

“I wish I could have killed the son of a bitch myself.” He exhales from his nose harshly, and shivers. He says something in Spanish, but Henry doesn’t understand. Luna comes over, squeezes Alex’s good foot through the sheets and whispers something again in Spanish. He nods approvingly at Henry and leaves.

 Induced Coma Day 4

Henry was removed from the hospital by Shaan and Phillip to go to the White House, take a shower and eat a decent meal. He didn’t want to go, but he had to- it’s what Alex would tell him to do. He was also starting to smell, so there’s that. Can’t have that for Alex now, he’d be so disappointed he didn’t smell like his cologne or like fresh cut grass as usual. Henry always adored the fact that Alex told him constantly what he smelled like and how much he was attracted to it.

In Alex’s bedroom, he always kept a change of clothes and some bathroom essentials. They started doing this because they would make impromptu trips to D.C. sometimes, and it was always good to not have to worry about things. Granted, Henry had packed a small bag but he forgot a few things in the rush of it all. Thankfully Alex and him share the same size boxers, so that’s helpful. He pulled on a pair of Alex’s underwear and smiled when he remembered the day Zahra had caught the two of them practically naked together. Why he thought hiding in a closet was a good idea- he’ll never know.

Zahra. Zahra has been different ever since it happened. He’d seen Ellen and her together, but they never spoke. Instead, their attention would be on their phones, or other people. Zahra also hasn’t visited Alex that he knows of. He asked Shaan about it, but Shaan didn’t have much to say. He said something along the lines of, “She’s working it out slowly.” Henry didn’t pry, but he’s come to know Zahra- and if she’s not talking, she’s more pissed than usual or it’s something deeper.

Henry was allowed to return to the hospital and waited to be able to go back to Alex’s room. Oscar and June were in with him, so he took to sitting with Ellen.

“Anything since I left?” Henry asked as he sat down. Ellen glances up from her phone and pushes her readers up into her hair making a piece of it stand up. Her eyes are tired, and she’s clearly miserable.

“Nope. I sat with him for a bit. They were talking about needing to start moving him around to prevent bed sores, but I don’t know how they are going to do that when he’s completely casted on one side and his back is broken. I got nervous, so I had to step out.” Ellen wiggled her hand around in the air.

“I’m sure they have ways.” Henry says.

“I’m sure, but I couldn’t be there.” She explains. He can only nod, and look around the room.

“Anything from the white house?” Henry finally asks. Nora pipes up across from him.

“They got statements from the secret service, and it turns out the guy was working on the Richard’s Campaign during re-election. They are questioning Richards now on it. He claims he knew nothing, but only knew of the man while others say he supposedly had promised the asshole a high-ranking job if he was elected. That’s all they have right now.” She explains.

“Of course it has to do with that numpty! Hasn’t he caused enough problems already!” Henry spat.               

“Apparently not.” Nora smirked, typing away on her laptop.

The room had grown quiet again, sans a family talking about their family member that was just admitted. Their little group was getting all types of attention from the family, until the secret service stepped in to ask them to politely give them privacy. Henry understands- it’s the First Family and the Royal Family in one room, that would spark plenty of conversation.

June and Oscar come out together from the hall and stand before everyone.

“What’s up?” Ellen asks, closing her phone.

“They are taking Alex for another CT and MRI. They want to check for swelling in his brain again and they want to make sure he’s not bleeding.”

“Oh my god.” Ellen presses a hand to her forehead.

“If it’s getting worse, then they will try something new. They might have to take him off the meds and wake him up.”

“Well, that’s a good thing then?” Ellen questions. Leo places his hand on her leg for comfort.  

“We’ll see.” Oscar shrugs, and Henry can tell how unsure he is about it by the way he doesn’t look at Ellen again.

So, they wait.  

~~~~~

Alex lays in bed beside Henry, feathering fingertips over his cheek.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Henry smiles.

“Where did you go again?” Alex asks.

“I was always here, Alex. I never went anywhere.”

“But you left, and then you-”

“Alex, you’re crying.” Henry reaches out and touches his cheek. Alex turns into Henry’s palm and gives it a kiss.

They lay there quietly, staring into each other’s eyes. Time moves so quickly, literally because the hands are spinning around the clock in the room. Alex focusing on it.

“When do we have to leave?”

“Dunno. That’s for you to decide.” Henry says, sitting up in bed. Alex follows.  

“Why?” Alex furrows his brow at him. A twinge of pain is felt in the back of his head. He grabs it, and holds his hand there. Henry watches, but doesn’t say anything. “What is that?” Alex groans, and withdraws his hand. In his palm is blood, but it’s dry and flaky. Old, and caked on.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Alex asks, looking at his hand. Both of his hands are shaking, and the pins and needles come back. It’s so strong he starts to cry, and he can’t stop. He wants to, and tries to, but he can’t. He screams, but he knows he’s not even making a sound.

“Alex, go to sleep. You need it.” Henry pushes him down into the pillows and he’s out. He’s falling now, and it feels trippy. It’s dark and there are sounds he can’t make out- loud whooshing sounds around him. He feels his body being pushes around by the force of falling, and he braces himself so many times- thinking this is it. He’s about to crash, but he never does. Henry pulls him right out of it, and his mom is there, and June and Oscar. Nora in a chair, and his grandmother saying a prayer in Spanish. Why can’t he talk- say anything- something!

~~~~~

When they bring Alex back to his room, the doctors meet with the family out in the waiting area. When doctor Fields and doctor Abrams determine it’s going to be a long conversation, they pull Ellen, and Oscar into their office to discuss further plans. Ellen takes Henry’s hand and pulls him along.

“He’s my son’s fiancé. He has a right to hear this too.” Ellen says sternly. The doctors nod and welcome the Prince warmly. They pull in another chair for him and Ellen never lets go of his hand.

“The swelling in Alex’s brain is a concern at this point, the pressure will continue to get worse if we can’t control it, which may result in damage. When we put him under, we had determined he was concussed right there in the OR just from how severe his head had been injured in the event, but unfortunately no MRI or CAT scan will be able to tell us that. We’d have to observe Alex in a conscious state to diagnose it. I’ve seen plenty of injuries of Alex’s magnitude and those conscious patients usually show signs…that being said, we have a few things we’d like to discuss.” Dr. Abrams spoke. He turned to his colleague and asked him to continue.

“So, Alex has some bleeding in the mid-section of his occipital lobe. This sits right here in the back of the head. It controls visual functions within the brain.” He said, showing on a 3-D diagram of a human skull. “This is where the skull fracture was. At the start, when they first brought him in, he hadn’t been swelling as much as he is now, which was a major red flag for us when we saw his scans today. It’s putting pressure on the brain, causing more bleeding, which is our main concern at the moment like doctor Abrams was saying.”

Ellen couldn’t even think fast enough to speak full sentences, “And? W-what does this mean for my son?” She asked finally.

“If we can’t control the bleeding, or relieve the pressure he could have a stroke. Our main concern with the injury to the occipital lobe that we can’t determine until he’s awake is his visual function.”

“What do you mean?” Oscar asked.

“Unfortunately, with damage to this particular area of the brain- Alex could suffer a multitude of losses. He could wake with visual impairments, visual cognitive issues, blindness…the list goes on, and we won’t know until we can evaluate him.”

“So, what are you saying? You want to wake him up to find out how damaged he is?” Ellen furrows her brow; she knows that’s not how she wanted to phrase that- but she’s too shaken to think clearly. Henry squeezes her hand- unable to utter a single question this entire time.

“Not entirely, Madam President. Our goal is to try and assess Alex’s injuries as best as we can. He theoretically would be better off in the induced coma to allow his brain to heal, but in some cases’ we need to evaluate him awake. It will take time, and…well, we called you in because we need to discuss the possibility that Alex may need to stay induced for another week while we keep him under constant observation if we decide to keep him under anesthesia.”

“Jesus Christ.” Ellen chokes, and throws her head into her hands. Oscar rubs her back, and bows his head. Henry feels sick.

“So, let’s go back…you’re saying Alex could be blind?” Oscar asks.

“It’s a possibility that I want you to be ready for…He’ll be under close watch, and if anything happens, we will try to assess it as best we can. It’s going to be a lot of physical therapy once he’s ready to be up and about. I want to believe in the best out come for this as much as you do, trust me. He’s young, and there is hope. Right now we need to figure out what the next course of action is to help Alex.” Dr. Fields explained.

“Okay.” Oscar nods, and presses his forehead to Ellen’s shoulder as she cries.

Blind. Henry always joked with Alex for not wearing his glasses, and being as blind as a bat. He feels sick again for thinking that was ever funny.

“Now, with keeping Alex under the induced coma for longer comes with it’s only challenges as well.” Dr. Field starts to explain.

“God, what more?! He’s been through enough!” Ellen explodes, stands from her seat, throwing her hands up.

“Madam President, I can assure you we’re doing all that we can.”

“That’s my son in there. He didn’t deserve any of this. He doesn’t deserve to suffer.” Ellen hollered.

“Ellen, they aren’t saying he deserves any of it. They are trying to tell you what’s going on-”

“This isn’t fair, Oscar- it’s not fair that he’s in that bad suffering and we get to sit here making these choices like we’re supposed to be God or something. I can’t do this. I can’t watch him go through this anymore!” Ellen sobbed. Oscar didn’t hesitate to pull Ellen into his chest, holding her tight across her back and head. The uncontrollable shaking terrified Oscar and he tried his best to calm her.

“He shouldn’t have been in there…he shouldn’t have even been there!” Her cries were muffled against Oscar’s chest.

The last time Oscar had seen his ex-wife this distraught was the day her mother passed away. It was expected because she was sick, but no one wanted it to happen. No one wanted to feel the hurt that came from it. Ellen was the worst of all- tears for weeks, she lost weight and slept for multiple hours at a time. Oscar was so worried for her, he suggested she go to therapy when she felt up for it. She refused, saying she was fine- but eventually started to go.

Henry watched quietly, oddly still feeling like the third wheel that just didn’t belong. Eventually Oscar decided Ellen didn’t need to be in this meeting any more, and brought her out to the waiting room. He asked that a few of her staff escorted her home to sleep. She needed to be away for a while. It didn’t do her any good being around the hospital and only thinking about Alex.

“So, as we were saying before.” Dr. Abrams began. “Alex being under for a longer period of time may pose some issues. He most likely will have a longer recovery time upon waking, which will include intense physical therapy to regain his motor function and possibly speaking…We know it sounds like a lot to take in right now, but it’s important you go into this knowing what’s to come. If this sounds like a road you don’t want to go down, there are some other options.”

“Which are?” Henry spoke up.

“We can wake Alex, and assess him where he is now. Through that option we can attempt to bring the swelling down manually with medications. There are plenty of methods we can try, but it gives us a chance to see where he’s at and devise a plan of action. The option to put him back under is always there as well. We just want to do what’s best for his healing process, but we also need your permission before moving forward.”

Oscar was quiet, and so was Henry. Both men looked at each other, completely unsure.

Oscar sighs, “What are the risks of bringing him out of the coma early? Are there any?”

“Well, Alex is responding well to the pain medication…but he’s also in a deeper than normal sleep, so he’s not feeling anything right now. If we bring him out of that deep sleep, he most likely will begin to feel the effects of his injuries. We don’t know how much pain he’s going to be in…but awake, his blood pressure could elevate due to the pain, which causes more blood flow to area’s we are trying to prevent. However- we can monitor that.”

“So, we won’t know what’s going to happen. It’s just taking a chance, and hoping for the best?” Henry asked.  

“It’s a chance for us to better assess Alex than we can while he’s asleep in order to diagnose and treat him more accurately…but it’s also a chance of causing him severe discomfort.” Dr. Fields explains with an apologetic shrug of his hands.

Oscar and Henry look at each other again- more unsure than before. None of this was reassuring in the least.

Doctor Abrams leans forward, “We’re looking it at it as simple as this: Option one: We wake Alex, see where he’s at and get an understanding of the invisible symptoms in question. We devise a treatment plan, and he’s on a faster road to recovery- at least that’s purely the hope. Option two: We keep him under until we see the swelling go down naturally, and when we see fit, we wake him and assess him from there. This option still comes with the longer recovery period and likely chance of not catching something we could have treated earlier.”

Oscar groaned, running a hand through his hair, “I feel like no matter what we do here- Alex is-”

“Mr. Diaz…no matter the option you choose, we are going to be on top of Alex’s pain management and work as hard, and as fast as we can to repair what needs to be repaired. It’s as simple as that. It’s unfortunate this has to come down to it being your decision, but it’s necessary so we can move forward, as said before. Now with that being said, we’ve gone over all the possible outcomes for this…which is how we ended up here. We need to do what is best for Alex, and right now no matter what you choose, Alex has a long road ahead of him. In these situations, returning to his old self may not be the case, and we don’t like to put unrealistic goals in front of our patients with injuries as severe as his. We’re going to work to get Alex back, but you need to be prepared for his new normal.”

New normal. Henry repeated in his head over a dozen times before someone spoke again.     

“Do you mind if we just have a second to talk?” Oscar asked. Dr. Fields and Dr. Abrams nodded, and left them to chat in their office.

Oscar turns to Henry and raises an eyebrow at him, “Henry-”

“-I dunno.” He shook his head, looking up at Oscar.

Oscar frowned, “Come on, mijo, don’t leave me here to make-”

“-I’m saying I dunno what’s supposed to be best for him.” Henry swallowed his anxiety. “It sounds like no matter what we choose he’s going to be in pain…just one way is immediate while the other is going to take some time.”

“Yeah, but both he’s still going to recover…is it better he just gets it out of the way, and starts the recovery process?”

“I dunno…I hate to say it, but Alex isn’t very good with pain regardless…it’s not going to be easy no matter what we choose. However, I would rather he wake, and we know he’s okay.”

“What if he’s not?” Oscar mumbles, looking away from Henry.

“I’ve thought about it far too long…I’d like to give optimism a try…it’s Alex, of all people. He’s a stubborn mule- and I know he will do everything in his power to be himself again. He hates to disappoint.” Henry smiles, and it fades as the thought crosses his mind that this is wishful thinking. So much for optimism.

“Yeah…you’re not wrong there…I know it’s selfish to want him awake, but I think the fact that they can better assess his problems is what’s driving me to want that.”

“I know…same here.”

Oscar is silent for a while as he looks at his hands.

“Oscar…”

“I know you don’t know what this feeling is yet…because you’re not a parent, but…this is my son, my own flesh and blood…the kid I raised…not being to help him is just…it feels like I’m being punished for not doing a better job. I could have done better, ya know?”

“Don’t say that...You can’t begin to think like that now.”

“It’s hard not to…I’m sorry for dumping that on you, really I am. But you can’t help but hope that as a parent, you’re doing the right thing for your kids. I just don’t know what’s right here.” Oscar dips his head, rubbing the back of his neck till it’s hot and red.

“I think we need to bring in other opinions...I think I know someone who can help.” Henry quirks an eyebrow.

“Who?” Oscar picks up his head to look at Henry.

Henry and Oscar wait in the doctor’s office, and there is a knock at the door.

“Come in.” Oscar says.

In comes Nora, with her laptop.

“What’s up? You wanted to see me?” She asks.

“Yes, please come in and sit.” Henry says. They fill her in, and Nora has a sense of pride behind her realizing she was brought in to help make such an important decision about someone she cares for so dearly. She’s also insanely pissed- that hasn’t changed since day one of this whole thing.

“So…you’re basically asking me for the odds?” She asks, hugging her laptop to her chest.

“Yes…can you maybe do a breakdown?” Henry asks.

Nora swallows, “I can try…this might be a little tricky, but I think I can come up with something.”

Oscar nods, “Good…We will need it soon. The doctors seem like they want to get the ball rolling on this.”

“I’ll do my best.” Nora says, “I’ll send you a text in a little bit.” She says to Henry and Oscar, getting up and leaving the room with her new found information. They wait for a while, and the doctors come back in to see where they are at. They explain the situation, noting they know it’s strange, but it’s something that gives them a sense of security, and a familiar feeling they know Alex would have turned to if this was his choice to make for any one of them.

Henry’s phone buzzes after some time, and his chest tightens. He knows it’s Nora without even looking, and he opens the text to find:

Plan A: 35% probability that when Alex is left in the coma to heal, he faces a longer recovery time upon waking and that something was missed and left untreated. This results in long term problems.

Plan B: 30% probability that when Alex is woken up early, they are unable to control the swelling and he may have to be put back under.

Plan C: 20% probability when they wake Alex, he responds to the new treatment, just might be in more pain.

Plan D: 10% probability that when Alex stays in the coma and is woken later after healing, he has zero long term issues.

Plan E: 5% probability that when Alex is left in the coma to heal, he will still face a longer recovery time upon waking but nothing is missed or left untreated. Results in no long-term problems.

“So, what did she say?” Oscar asks.

Henry’s brow pinches as he reads, “I’m trying to figure it out…but it looks like our best option would be Plan C.” Henry says, showing it to Oscar.

“I don’t know where she pulled her numbers for this one, but none of these are positive.” Oscar says, handing the phone back to Henry with a remorsefully look.

“I think that speaks volumes considering the circumstances. Either way, Alex doesn’t come out of this unscathed. It’s almost impossible.” Henry replied. He frowns, looking at the options again when the room falls silent. Finally, he just shakes his head and puts his phone away. “I think we should wake him.” Henry says.

“…Yeah…I’m thinking that myself.” Oscar nods, wringing his hands in his lap.  

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Dr. Fields asks.

“I’m never going to be sure...Wake up my son.” Oscar says, and breaks out into a cold sweat.   

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

They decided to start Alex’s waking up process in the morning, knowing it could take a little while for him to become fully awake. This allowed everyone to be made aware of the most recent news, and for everyone to be back in the waiting room together. Ellen had taken her much needed rest, returned to some work to clear her mind, and when Oscar told her what was happening it all went on hold. She was back at the hospital in no time at all. The world will have to wait.

Henry, Ellen, Oscar and June were allowed in his room as they woke him up.

“Is he going to be in pain?” Ellen asked.

“We have him on a constant drip, so he shouldn’t be.” The nurse explained, assisting the doctor. Ellen stood nearby, and watched as they replaced the current anesthetics with the ones that will restore his consciousness.

“I like to remind families, Alex is gonna be in and out of sleep, coming in and out of consciousness on his own. I wouldn’t try to ask him any questions because we do leave the ventilator in until we know he’s breathing on his own. We’ll assess him once he is awake, but until we do, just assure him he’s okay, and try to make sure he doesn’t try to pull out the tubing.” She explained, moving a few wires around Alex and adjusting some things around the room. “Most importantly, if he wakes up, call one of us.” Gretta smiled, and then left them to it. She explained she’ll be back every thirty to check on him, but didn’t want to hover since Alex had plenty of eyes to keep watch on him.

Oscar sat in a chair across the room, and June was with him. Henry was too antsy to sit, so he stood with his arms crossed, staring at Alex.    

It had been about ten minutes since they administered the medication to wake him up, and he was still very much asleep. His heart rate was fine, and nothing seemed to be sounding alarms, so they took that as a good thing.

Gretta came back at the thirty-minute mark and took his vitals down.

“It could take a bit. He was under for a while.” She assured them. Ellen nodded, keeping her hand inside her sons.

“You can talk to him, it might help.” She explained before leaving again, and sliding the door shut for their privacy.

“Mijo, we’re all waiting here for you.” Oscar stood at the end of the bed. Ellen would periodically squeeze his hand, hoping he’d squeeze it back- or twitch…or something.

“Apparently it could take a whole day for him to wake up.” June said, reading off her phone.

“Does it say anything about the length of time he was under and how that effects it?” Ellen asked. June looked, but couldn’t find much on that. It just says a day.

Alex hadn’t changed much since that morning. He still looked peacefully asleep, and unmoving. Not a single flinch, or flutter of his eyes in two hours.

Another hour passes, and then another.

“Alex, darling…please wake up. We want to see you.” Henry spoke, now having been in Ellen’s spot when she needed to step out to handle Presidential business. He squeezed Alex’s hand, but nothing still. A lifeless limb.

It’s now five at night, and Alex hasn’t moved. The doctor came in to assess Alex again, took his vitals and even suggested they let off on the pain medication to see if that’s what’s preventing him from coming to. A full hour of that, and nothing. Most of the people in the waiting room were growing impatient- wanting to know if Alex is okay, and no one was saying anything. Even some reporters came up to find out anything, but were nicely escorted out without even a statement.

Henry yawned, reclining back in the chair he was in. He scrubbed his hands over his face and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest, and crossed one long leg over the other. A member of the White House was nice enough to drop off dinner for them all, and Ellen even began working from a laptop in the corner of the room. She made a few calls, and June was also starting to pass the time by working. Oscar couldn’t focus long enough to do any of that. He just pulled his chair up to the end of the bed, and massage his son’s feet. He would squeeze just slightly harder every now and then, hoping to see Alex’s face move in response. Nothing.

Henry’s hand was clasped in Alex’s- but Henry was doing all the work of holding them together. Nothing.

Day 2

Henry never slept, in fear that Alex would wake alone to a room full of sleeping people. But he never did. The doctor had come by and requested another scan, but Ellen was hesitant.

“What if he wakes up in there?” Ellen quaked in her shoes, just thinking about it. She knows her son, and he does not like getting any kind of imaging scans done. They used to scare him horribly. She remembers a time when he got hit in the head with a lacrosse stick in high school by an opposing teammate and had to get an MRI done to clear him back to playing- he nearly freaked out in the tunnel with the sounds and claustrophobia kicking in bad.

“Ellen, it’s best they do everything they can. I suggest they do it.” Oscar explained. Ellen wasn’t happy with the idea, but she let them take him.

~~~~~~

 When Alex woke, it wasn’t a show stopping event- just a normal day, in bed with Henry. The room over looking Paris is grey today. Not sunny, not warm- grey and cold, and looks like it might even rain. Alex gets up out of bed, finding that horrible feeling of pins and needles return to his legs and arms.

“I gotta get that checked out.” Alex mumbles to himself. He looked back at the bed where Henry was asleep, but he’s gone. Alex scans the room quickly, and then sees him looking out the window.

“Henry? What are you doing?” Alex asks, wrapping his arms around his waist from the back.

“Waiting for you.” He says dully, staring out into the scenic view, that seemed to blur around the edges- buildings and hills have vanished in a cloudy haze.

“Fog is setting in.” Henry mentions.

“Yeah…when do we leave?” Alex asked, feeling an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. He’s asked this before- he’s been here before…

“I told you, Alex. It’s up to you.” He said, turning around and taking Alex by the shoulders. He looked him straight in the eye, but Henry’s eyes were cold and distant. He was sad, angry? Alex couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry, am I keeping you here?” Alex spat, shoving Henry off of him.

“You’re not making this easy.”

“I’m not making it easy?” Alex returned his statement- unsure what it even meant.

“You’re keeping me here, you need me.”

“I don’t need you- get out!” Alex screamed, and pointed to the door.

“Come with me.”

“No. I won’t go…I’m fine where I am.”

“Alex- Please come with me. I don’t want to go alone.” Henry begged, nearly in tears.

“Just get out!” Alex yelled, and pushed Henry toward the door.

“ALEX!” Henry hollered, and in a blink of an eye- he was gone.

Alex felt a rush of panic. He jerked forward and took a few steps, unable to comprehend how he could have pushed Henry away like that. He didn’t want that- he wanted him here.

“Hen…Henry?” Alex called out into the void of the room again. Radio static broke out like a record player kicked on, and the whooshing sound was back from before. Louder this time- so loud Alex covered his ears. He was cold and his body felt numb again. The pins and needles grew worse- he scratched at his skin. His breathing labored and frantic as he tore at the skin with his fingernails. He drew blood, and it flowed heavily from the streaks of red down his arms.

“Fuck-Fuck-Fuck.” He cursed, still scratching. He couldn’t stop. It made him feel something mentally, yet nothing at all physically. He could see it, the blood, the scratches- but he couldn’t feel it. It was never going to stop…he feared bleeding out. He was bleeding out. He collapsed to the floor.

“HENRY!” Alex screamed, terrified- alone. Before he knew it, he wasn’t alone. The room was full of his people- Secret Service, and most important of them all- Cash.

“HELP!” Alex screamed at Cash- nothing. He watched Alex suffer, on the floor, not a hand reaching out to help.

“CASH PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!” Alex was beside himself, he felt he was ripping a hole to another dimension through himself. Soon there would be none of him. The room darkened, but he was still there. The clouds rolled in, and each rumble of thunder sounded like a bomb detonating in front of him. He flinched, having a feeling he’s been here before. Cash never helped. No one did. They all took the hit too. Cash was on the ground, bleeding out. Alex couldn’t tell who’s blood it was, because there was so much of his own pooled around them. How isn’t he dead?

Secret Service was down- he had no protection. The thunder popped again, making Alex gasp and cover his face.

A man…a man walked into view for him to look at. He was familiar, yet so unrecognizable. He was the man- with the bomb. It came back to Alex immediately.

“GO AWAY.” Alex screamed, scrambling backwards away from him. Not again- he won’t do this again. The man rushed him, exposing his chest, and Alex flinched when he opened his jacket flaps. A black hole of nothing was there. No bomb, just…nothing.

“PLEASE STOP!” Alex tried again, angry and thrashing about on the floor. “WHY CAN’T I FEEL MYSELF.” Alex screamed bloody murder and the words almost incoherent. He slammed his legs and arms against the floor, bitter and angry. Throwing a tantrum like a small child would, but more mentally tired than one.

The door to the outside- just taunting him, waiting for Alex to open it. He wouldn’t dare- there was no telling what or who was out there. But Henry was probably there…his mom…his dad…June.

He stopped thrashing, and the storm continued on. Some how he got himself to crawl to the door, reaching up and stopping just before the handle.

Flash of white took over the room, and he was clean, no more blood- nobody in the room. He was alone again. The day still grey and cold. No Henry though. No June…no one. No one at all.

~~~~~~

Day 6  

“First Son, Alexander Claremont-Diaz, is still unresponsive on day ten following the explosion at The White House, which put the First Son and multiple Secret Service agents in critical condition. The White House Press Secretary released a statement Thursday night that they have since identified the intruder who was able to breech security on September 15th, but at this time are not disclosing any information, as it is still under close investigation. Sources are saying, it could be a campaign member of President Claremont’s running mate, Senator Jeffery Richards. It’s not clear yet as to what the motive was behind the assailants’ actions at this time. The family asks you keep all the families effected in this devastating event in your thoughts and prayers during this crucial time. They need all the support they can get. This is a developing story, more on this at eleven. I’m Monica Brinks, NBC News.”

Ellen was at the White House for the day, working in order to keep from going insane. She still had a country to run, and guilt had stricken her numb long enough. Henry had yet to leave, having run out of clothes, and constantly having White House staff sending his laundry off when he would return to the White House to sleep for hours at a time in order to give everyone time with Alex. The more stimulation he got, the better.

Oscar was making sure to relay news to family and friends whenever there was any sort of updates…which for the last couple days- there weren’t any. Alex wasn’t making progress, nor was he declining. It was a horrible limbo situation, that they wish they could rescue him from. A waiting game…a horrible, indeterminable outcome. Not even Nora could crack this one.   

Henry, and June were there the day a package arrived from St. Andrew’s fourth grade class. Inside were hand written notes, and get-well cards for Alex. June just about burst into tears upon seeing all the children’s hand writing on colorful construction paper. The children, Alex so selflessly begged to keep safe, as Cash tells it, all wrote him to thank him for saving their lives. It was impossible to get through them all, but June sat with Henry and they read them to Alex in hopes it would help.  

The atmosphere changed when Cash came to visit Alex. They all could see it…the hurt, and guilt that Cash held behind his eyes, his healing body. He apologized profusely, begged for Ellen’s forgiveness. Ellen was not about to watch one of her best crumble from something he had no control over. She sternly asked that Cash take a leave of absence, for mental and personal reasons. She made it clear that therapy was a must, and would be offered to him for as long as he needed. Besides, when Alex comes to, he’s gonna need his right-hand man back in action- ready to protect him.

It was Henry’s day. They all took shifts, sitting and talking with Alex. Today Henry wanted to try something new.

He brought a small speaker from Alex’s room that he used to keep for showers, and set it up close to his head on the hospital mattress. He had the passcode to Alex’s phone, and opened it to find his Spotify account. He searched through his playlists, and found a few songs he knew Alex loved to listen to over and over again. Didn’t matter how many times he’d heard it, he never got bored of them.

Henry made him a separate playlist of all the songs he thinks would help to play on repeat since repetition is shown to help:

Never Tear Us Apart, INXS

Your Song, Elton John

Rich Girl, Hall & Oats

I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash

Never, Heart

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now, Starship

Don’t Bring Me Down, Electric Light Orchestra

And some others. He kept the music on low by Alex’s ear for the entire day. He peppered in some classical to bring back memories of Henry playing the piano for him, and was confident this was it- he’d bring Alex back with music. By George, he thinks he’s got it.

Henry walked about the room, fiddling with some things, and trying to keep his hands busy. He bought crossword puzzles from the hospital giftshop, and several stupid cheap romance paperback novels. He would read them to Alex, and add funny inflections to pretend to be other people in the book when there was dialogue. He got the idea from Alex one night. They were drunk, and Alex couldn’t get over a line in a book he was reading, so he read it aloud to Henry and thus began the tradition of reading shitty paperback romances about cowboys, and long-lost lovers. They found a few spicy gay novels, which turned into trying out the scenes in the book…yeah, porn is porn for a reason.

“And then he tore her clothes off, swift and unapologetic. Her mouth waiting, wanting to taste-”

A powerful female voice boomed, “What the fuck are you reading?” Henry just about gave himself whiplash from spinning in his chair. He grabbed at his neck with a hiss and relaxed upon seeing Zahra standing in the door way.

“Zahra.” He perked up. Zahra grit her jaw, visibly to Henry, and swallowed softly. She wasn’t looking at him, but the floor now.

“Hi…I’m sorry to interrupt.” She lingered in the doorway, clasping her hands together behind her back.  

“No, no. Come in. You weren’t interrupting.” Henry said, closing the book and standing.

“It’s alright. I’ll stand here.” She said and Henry realized she couldn’t really see Alex from the way that the curtain was pulled around. She could only see Henry from where he previously sat.

“Zahra, it’s alright. I can leave if you want to talk to-”

“He can’t talk back to me. I’m not going to do that.” She spoke curtly. Henry clamped his mouth shut.

“Alright.” Henry nodded, and looked back at Alex. He reached over and paused the music.

“You can still have the room if you want to be alone.” Henry offered. Zahra was quiet. This is the first time she’s been here since it happened…the last time she saw Alex he seemed worried, and scared- but hid it behind his ability to remain calm in serious situations that truly needed his concentration. She’s seen him lose his shit before in moments of panic, so she knows the look in his eyes when he isn’t sure about something. Not true, the last time she saw him was on a gurney being ushered into an Air Ambulance to be transported to the hospital. He didn’t look like Alex- not one bit. She can still see his body, limp and broken. Blood…glass shards… the body and neck brace they had on him. The images flashed through her brain like a traumatic post war episode. She blinked it away, and looked at Henry who had been watching the memories dance across her face rapidly in a serious of facial expressions.

“Could I?” She asks, and it’s a whisper but she doesn’t realize.

“Sure.” Henry nods, and starts toward her. She nods to him, and he’s gone. It takes her a minute, but she gains the courage to walk in, past the stupid curtain.

He’s there, on the ventilator. Most of his bruises are yellow now, and his black eyes are healing a bit. His face is still pretty swollen, but it’s gone down considerably. His body still lies in a cast from his waist down to his leg, and his arm still in a brace, but less bandaging than before. It’s the tubes, and the machines beeping that unnerve her. She wants to tell him to knock it the fuck off- tell him he’s being dramatic, and push him along to where he’s got to be, but she can’t…it’s not like that this time. It will never be like that again, she thinks. But she hopes…she hopes it’s like that again.

Ellen hasn’t verbally spoken to her in a week. They correspond through emails, but no calls- no gal talk…radio silence. It’s her fault afterall he’s in here…it’s her fault.

It’s been a long time, and she stood, staring at Alex. Her blouse was wet with tears, and she couldn’t stop it. She kept crying, but not making a sound. As much as Alex causes her grief, she loves the kid. She will always love him, like a nephew- like a son.

She takes the deepest breath of her life, “I’m so…” her voice drops off. “I’m so sorry…I don’t know what else to say…I’m just…” She holds the back of her curled fingers to her mouth. Her eyes are clenched shut, and pools of salty tears cascade down her cheeks. “Call me when you wake up…” She said, leaving the room in a rush, that she slams half her body into a passing person- Shaan.

“My love.” He says, and goes to grab her. She pushes off, and he goes to grab her again, but she’s too quick- slips past…Shaan can’t get a hold of her for hours, Oscar tries, Nora tries, June sends out messages via text, email and contemplates carrier pigeon. Nothing- radio silence.

~~~~~~

Alex’s hands tremor every time he reaches for the door knob. It’s right there- grab it! Fucking pull that door open and get the fuck out of here. It feels like it’s been weeks he’s been alone in that room. Henry hadn’t come back, and when he thinks he has, it’s not true- he’s not really there. Just his voice, in his head. It’s a trick- it all feels like a dirty trick.

The knob wiggles, and Alex is hopefully. It shakes, and seems like it could shake off the door- but then it stops.

“LET ME OUT!” Alex hollers and bangs on the door.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He spins around, frightened by the unfamiliar voice and scans the room to find a man sitting on the couch looking over at him.

“Who the fuck-” Alex starts. “Henry.” Alex blinks. It’s not Henry though…but it is? An older Henry? He’s so handsome, but he doesn’t remember Henry being so old looking. Not his grandmothers age, no…more like his dad…and fuck has he aged like fine, mother-fuckin’ wine.

The older Henry says nothing, just looks at Alex and swirls a glass swizzle stick around in a glass of whiskey and ice.

“What do you want?” Alex feels he should be mad now. “Where did you go? You keep disappearing.”

“I haven’t been here before. You’re mistaking me for someone much younger…maybe a certain someone I share a lineage with, perhaps?” He asks, taking a swig of his drink, and then it clicks. Mr. James Bond himself. Arthur Fox.

“Arthur?” Alex asks.

“Perhaps.” He shrugs, and throws the drink back. He places the glass down, and trails over to Alex. Alex looks out the window, and it’s worse than before- the fading corners have erased the entire outside view. The fog thick like a wall.

“I’ve never met you sir…but I date your son.”

“You shouldn’t.” Arthur shakes his head. “You’re too unbridled for him.”

“I beg your pardon?” Alex glared at the man.

“You heard me, boy. You’re uncontrollable, and irresponsible. You’ve no right to corrupt a member of the royal family with your haphazard ways of life.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I hope everything was worth it to you…I think you need a reminder that this isn’t a fairytale- it never fucking was.” Arthur says and Alex is transported to the Oval Office. Frantically crying out for help for Cash. He keeps coming back here- never leaves the room, but comes back here to fight for Cash- for himself.

“STOP IT!” Alex grabs his head with trembling hands, and screams. He screams bloody murder for what feels like days-on the Oval Office floor- just staring at the ceiling. The explosion happens on repeat like a broken record, but it doesn’t take Alex out- he survives it every time but everyone else dies.

“I hope everything was worth it to you…I think you need a reminder that this isn’t a fairytale- it never fucking was,” gets whispered into his ear, louder than his screams- but he’s the only one who hears it.

He comes to in the room. The windows wide open, and the curtains are frozen. There is no air- no breeze. The fog flows in through the window and it’s so dense only small amounts of color passes through it. It envelopes the window sill, and cascades down the wall, filling parts of the large room slowly.

Alex runs for the door, and his hands no longer tremble, but the door knob is stuck. He tugs on it- twists it and it’s his worse nightmare. He can’t open the door- like the feeling when you want to punch someone but you can’t- zero strength exists here. He’s losing it fast. He pulls his hands off the knob with a hiss when it burns a bright neon orange-red color. Past the windows outside it’s darker than before. Almost pitch black, like he’s seen when the door he can’t get open, opens. Nothing behind it- nothing there.

The piano in the room kicks up and the keys are being punched, but no one is playing it. It’s classical, but he makes out the tune to an old 80’s song he loves and the lyrics fill his head:

Hey baby I'm talkin' to you
Stop yourself and listen
Some things you can never choose
Even if you try, yeah

You're bangin' your head again
'Cause somebody won't let you in
One chance, one love
Your chance to let me know

A banging on the other side of the door starts up, the knob going crazy again. Alex backs away, noticing the fog getting worse. He wants to escape, maybe if he takes the window- he can jump. He’ll make it.

~~~~~~

Day 10, 2 weeks in a Coma, September 29^th 2023

Oscar and Luna are chatting in the room, talking about something regarding politics. Henry had zoned them out. He was massaging Alex’s right palm and the new day nurse, Julissa, was taking care of his daily necessities.

A new routine ignited among all of them after a family meeting at the White House took place- an Ellen Claremont PowerPoint was used for reference. They worked out a schedule of who would go see Alex on what days, and for how long. Nora had constructed a sharable document with tables and charts where everyone could write notes to keep each other up to date- a log for Alex’s progress, if you will. Everyone participated, and it was a great way to feel included when someone couldn’t be there. It took the extra work out of having to call who ever was there to get a real time update.

Julissa sings out his name as she checks his IV, “Alex, how are we today?” She then opens an eye lid and shines a light. “Hmm.” She says, but moves on to test the other eye and reflexes. Alex doesn’t respond quickly as usual. Another nurse came in to help change some dressings, and move Alex around a little as much as they could comfortably. They wanted to avoid bed sores, and also the fact that Alex is now entering the part of his healing process where scar tissue will begin to build- it’s not going to be an easy or painless road to break all of that up in physical therapy.

Alex’s doctors were pleased that he responded well to the new medication and the swelling has gone down considerably in his brain. The bleeding was much better, and under control for the first time in a week as well. It was a good sign because that means they don’t have to put him back under the induced coma. However, the main concern was still how low he was scoring on the Glascow Coma Scale.

His number was at a 3…this meant Alex was in a deep coma with zero areas of response. Not good at all considering he should have woken up by now. In fact, the doctors decided to call in the family for an important meeting about Alex and his progress, or lack thereof.

It took place that night, in a conference room just off of the Trauma ICU. Ellen refused to let her family sit out of these meetings anymore. If one hears- they all hear. It’s been a team effort from the beginning, no more he said- she said bullshit.

Ellen sat beside Leo; hands clasped firmly together. Beside Leo was Oscar, Nora, June, and Henry.

Doctor Abrams spoke first, “The reason we called all of you here this evening is to discuss Alex’s progress. He has come a long way with the healing of his injuries. From what we can see on the surface, his incisions have healed well, and no signs of infection thus far. We were worried at the start about his head injury, and even though we still can’t determine the degree of loss just yet, we can still report he’s doing well. He’s more stable now than ever. You all have been doing a fantastic job at keeping him company, and talking with him. It’s all very helpful.”

“I’m sensing a major- but, here doc…please, just come out with it.” Oscar scrubbed his hands over his tired face.

Doctor Fields picks up with, “But, Alex is still unresponsive…we don’t know if it’s due to the induced coma, his head injury, or even the injury to his back. The tests aren’t clear. We’ve fixed the bleeding and the swelling, but at this point we just aren’t sure.”

“So, what now? We just continue to wait?” Ellen asked.

“You’re saying unresponsive…is he brain dead?” June asked, and Henry glanced over at her- his heart sinking at the question.

“No, he still has brain activity, which I know may seem confusing since he hasn’t shown any responsive signs during his exams, but from what we can see, Alex’s brain is most certainly alive. It’s a good sign because it means that if-and-or when he regains consciousness, he will be able to breath on his own, and most likely recover.” Doctor Abrams explained.

The room was quiet and doctor Fields spoke again.

“Our next step however is to talk about the future. We know it’s not what you want to hear, and trust me- no one wants to talk about this, but in the unlikely event anything should happen where Alex doesn’t regain consciousness or does perhaps lose all brain function, does he have a living will with a designated medical power of attorney?”

June stiffened beside Henry and it was the little side eye and swallow that worried him.

“June.” Henry whispered, tapping her arm. “What’s the matter?” He asked, furrowing his brow. Upon Henry’s words, they all looked at June.

“What’s wrong sugar?” Ellen asked, looking down the table at her. June paled, and looked at Henry first.

“Did Alex talk to you?” She asked.

“About?” Henry questioned.

“Well…about a month ago, or now two I guess…Uh, Alex made some changes to his living will since we hadn’t updated it since mom’s first term. The only reason I know this is because he had asked me questions regarding things about myself. He made mention to the medical side of things, but it’s my understanding he was removing mom and dad…and putting you in place because of the engagement.”

“Oh…” Henry’s eyebrows spiked up to his forehead, his mouth fixed in a perfect ‘o’.

“He did what?!” Ellen stood, practically kicking her chair over.

“Ellen, it’s not your decision. He’s an adult.” Oscar said.

“Oscar- he didn’t tell us he was doing that! He shouldn’t have done that!”

“I think he didn’t want to have you say no…but also, he felt that by time he’d have to update it again- he’d already be married to Henry.” June explained, shrinking in her seat. Ellen was furious…but then she looked at Henry and realized this was something much bigger than her now. This boy who’s been fighting along side her son, now faced with one of the most difficult decisions of his life- to basically remove the only person he’s ever shared his heart with from the world.

It’s her son…she should be the one to make the call. For god’s sake she brought him into this world!

“We don’t need to go over this now, Alex is doing just fine at the moment. If we do need to discuss it again, we will call a separate meeting. Until then, please do discuss this for your knowledge going forward, but continue how you have been with Alex. It’s good for him, and we’ll continue to monitor him and keep you all updated.” Doctor Abrams said.

The second the meeting broke, Ellen rushed out of the hospital and back to the office to review Alex’s living will. He did in fact change his arrangements, and Leo convinced her not to be upset. This was clearly important to Alex, and it’s what he would have wanted- which she was finally seeing...once she calmed down of course.  

On the other hand, Henry was pissed. He got out of the meeting with them, and made a B-line for Alex’s room. It was late, so the entire hospital was pretty quiet. The first thing he thought to himself- don’t make a scene. Don’t be loud, and angry. Don’t be. Don’t.  

~~~~~~

The room is still, and the darkness is setting in more as Alex lays on the floor, the fog flowing over him. He can’t help the feeling of impending doom that takes him over- this is it.

The door is still closed, and he turns his head to look at it. He can see shadows under the crack beyond the door. It looks like people walking around maybe. He picks his body up, he’s not sure how he did it because his entire being is numb. The pins and needles have migrated all over his body. He’s hovering now, floating toward the door. The door bows at the center, making Alex freeze in his tracks.

“…the world will be a better place without you in it.” A voice boomed at him through the fog. Alex glanced back at the window, the fog getting thicker and darker- now black like heavy smoke from a chimney. Alex began to run toward the door, and began banging on it furiously.

“Let me out!” Alex screamed.  

More voices poured out, “The First Family Has Been Lying To Us, The American People! WHAT ELSE Are They Lying About??!!”

“Please! I BEG YOU!” He pounded his fists against the wood.   

“Lmaoooo wait look at page 22 of the emails alex is such a hoe.”

Alex glances over his shoulder, the fog has now crept up the walls, filling the room and enclosing on him, “NO, NO, PLEASE!” He screams again, his throat feeling like it’s closing.

“God fucking dammit…Every time I see you, it takes another year off my life…”

“HELP ME, PLEASE! HENRY! JUNE! ANYONE-PLEASE!” Alex feels the fog grab hold of his ankles like two large hands, gripping- growing tighter. But he’s numb and it doesn’t hurt- it’s a pressure and he kicks at it. Finds he can’t. He’s stuck. He keeps fighting- he never stops banging on the door- never.

“ARGH! You are, and forever will be a bloody pain in my arse…” Comes Henry’s voice beyond the door.

Alex stops banging, he hears more, “Fuck, Alex…do you even know what this is doing to me? Do you even know how hard this is for me?”

“Henry please! Open the door! Please! Let me out!” Alex is hysterical, he’s sobbing so hard. His throat tightens again- he can’t breathe.

“You could have picked anyone! A random bloke! BUT NO! …Instead, you pick me!”

“I wouldn’t choose anyone else over you- HENRY PLEASE!” Alex slams his open palms against the door rapidly, with urgency to get out. The fog is wrapping itself around Alex’s waist.

“OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES ALEX, I BEG YOU!” Henry’s voice is loud- he’s standing up next to the door, he feels him.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR HENRY- FUCK YOU- OPEN THIS DOOR!” Alex slams his head against the door, pounding a closed fist high above himself.  

“I won’t do it. I can’t. I will never do it. You’ll rot here till the day I die. Do you hear me, Alex? Do you hear me?!”

“I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE- I WANT TO LEAVE! I WANT TO GO HOME!” Alex screams, and the fog is crawling up his arms, like vines and there is a terrible creaking sound emitting from it. His entire being is enveloped in seconds. As he falls back with the fog holding him, he shuts his eyes. He feels weightless- free. Fuck- he’s falling. He’s falling fast, and when he finally wakes, it’s because he lands hard and it hurts and he can feel it- FUCK he feels it. Everything. All at once like he’s being stabbed all over. His head, his torso, his back, his shoulders- all in excruciating, white hot pain.

~~~~~~

Henry slid the door shut to Alex’s room, and composed himself as much as he could before approaching Alex at the bed. Alex laid there still as a board, ventilator pumping away. Henry opened his mouth more times than he could count and each time nothing was coming out. He took deep breaths, staring at Alex’s relaxed expression. Probably the most relaxed he’s ever been in his life.

Henry paced the hospital floor, running a hand through his hair, then the other until they met at the back of his head. He squeezed his palms together at the crown of his head, inhaling through his nose as he tried his best not to cry. He was shaking, violently. He stared at Alex again, wishing he knew what was going on- why he wasn’t awake. Just open your fucking eyes.

His hand scrubbed down his mouth, keeping it there over his chin, once again- breathing deep, trying desperately not to cry. It was an endless cycle until he’d had enough with the pacing- the face scrubbing- the hair pulling. FUCKING DONE. The love of his life, motionless- unknowing of the world around him. He may as well be dead at this point, and Henry will never get to say anything else. Alex gets the last word- as fucking always. Typical Alex. Really Typical.   

Henry grew closer to him, his voice a whisper- unable to go higher with tears pricking his eyes, “How could you not tell me…fucking how, Alex…” Henry gritted his teeth, burning a hole into Alex’s face with his eyes. He waited- nothing. Of course.

Henry held back his tears and anger only to explode in an emotional tirade, “Gah! Why did you do that? Huh? Why? Make me be the one?” Henry cried out into Alex’s emotionless face, pounding his fingertips into his chest. “You know I could never do this! I would never do this!” Henry continued, tears pouring down his cheeks. He pulled away from the bed, pacing the room again with a hand on his hip, the other pressed against his forehead.

“Fuck, Alex…do you even know what this is doing to me? Do you even know how hard this is for me?” Henry paced, talking to the walls. “ARGH! You are, and forever will be a bloody pain in my arse- always doing shite to get a rise out of me.” He took a ragged breath, both palms pressed into his temples. He paced and paced, running tracks into the linoleum. He wiped the tears away from under his chin hastily, sniffling hard as he shifted on his feet back and forth.

Henry turned on his heel, raging toward Alex and getting up close to his face, “You could have picked anyone! A random bloke! BUT NO!” Henry shouts, poking hard at his own chest again, “Instead, you pick me!...You pick me, who can’t even make a bloody decision about fucking pasta sauce at the super market- ALEX!” Henry screams at him, only to quickly cover his mouth with both hands, clenching his eyes shut. He takes another shaky breath, and stares down onto his face. Everything flashed before his eyes- their life together in a series of memories like a movie: The Olympics, the cake, fake friendships turned secret dating, coming out to the world unprepared, the brownstone, their first real fight, the engagement, the planning- this. He doesn’t want this to be a part of it anymore.    

 “Open your eyes, damn you…” He says lowly and breathes heavily, each word a pathetic sob. “I can’t do this anymore, Alex…I simply won’t, and if you bloody well think I’m going to be the one to…to…I won’t do it. I can’t. I will never do it. You’ll rot here till the day I die. Do you hear me, Alex? Do you hear me?!” Henry’s face hot and red as he screams at Alex again, “OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES ALEX, I BEG YOU,” Henry’s screaming so loud the Secret Service bust in. “PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES! OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!” Henry bellows, almost throwing himself onto Alex. A Secret Service agent grabs hold of Henry before he can, taking him into a tight bear hug from behind.

“What’s going on in here?” Oscar and Phillip rush in. He’d just returned and with Catherine behind him this time.

“Henry! Calm down!” Phillip crowded them, taking his brothers wet face into his hands. Not wanting to admit they’d been here before…a whole other situation from their past.

“I WON’T DO IT! I WON’T!” Henry’s inconsolable in the arms of the agent. Phillip demands he let go, and he lowers Henry, who no longer has the will to stand, onto the floor, “I love him, why would he do this to me?” He cries softly now. Phillip is beside him, and Catherine grabs hold of her son, pulling him in close.

“Now, now. Stop this. You’re alright.” She hushes him, and looks around them. “Give us some privacy, yeah?” Catherine says sternly. The Security team backs down, and Catherine convinces Henry to stand again so they can take a walk away from the room. Just as they step past the threshold, they hear it. A guttural noise, followed by a low whimper. Henry stops in his tracks and whips around- blinking with his mouth agape. Alex? He pulls out of his mother’s arms and rushes back in.

He rushes to Alex’s side, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “Alex? Alex, darling can you hear me? …If you can hear me, squeeze my hand sweetheart.” Henry tries, watching his face closely. The low noise comes out as a moan, his brow twitches. Henry sucks in a breath, feeling a mix of emotions rush through him. He can’t think- he just cries and kisses Alex’s hand.

“Alex darling, I’m here…it’s me, Henry. I’m here, love. You’re alright.” He assures him. Catherine walks up beside him, having seen Alex for the first time and covering her mouth.

“Mijo? Mijo if you can hear us, squeeze Henry’s hand.” Oscar says from the end of the bed. He looks to Henry and he shakes his head when it doesn’t happen. Oscar takes hold of Alex’s feet through the covers and gives the tips of his toes a squeeze. It’s low, but he moans again. Alex’s brow twitches quickly, and it’s a while before it happens again- but it does.

Henry breaks out into a deranged kind of laughter, and leans over to place a kiss to his forehead. He stays there, petting his hair, and whispering in his ear, “It’s alright, love. You’re going to be alright.” They don’t get much of a response again, but the fact they got anything at all was progress enough for them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Day 11

It was official- Henry was never leaving that spot until Alex was awake and coherent. Since the night before, Alex continued with the varying facial expressions and low whimpers. Nothing huge apart from his fingers began twitching every now and then. He would bunch up the hospital blanket under his fingertips, which Henry feared the fabric would begin to hurt after a while, as it wasn’t very soft to begin with. Catherine had bought a soft blanket for Alex, that Henry draped over his lap to help with Alex’s clawing. At least this way he won’t rub his fingers raw.

Henry continued to read him spicy romance novels, and make playlists for him, which seemed to make him more active than not. It was a very good sign, and gave them all hope. Nora also spent many afternoons with him, reading the latest twitter posts about celebrities they were into, and other things. She avoided politics and the event like the plague. She rather not share negativity while he’s trying to heal. June already yelled at her once for it, so she’d never think to do it again.

Pez was finally able to make his way state side and came to visit, which Henry greatly appreciated. He needed another familiar face to help with the frustration of waiting. That’s all they could do -wait. To them, it felt like each day wasn’t getting anywhere at all, until it did...

Day 16, 2 weeks- 6 days in a coma, October 5^th, 2023

“He’s officially at a 7 on the scale. He’s getting better.” Dr. Fields said, after examining Alex. “He’s still asleep, but we can tell he’s trying to communicate with us. We’ve learned when he’s in pain, which lets us know when to treat him which is excellent, and so far, he’s doing a great job.”

“That’s great news.” Ellen beamed, looking to her son. Even though they say he’s doing better, in her eyes he looks worse. He’s definitely lost weight and a scruffy beard is growing in considerably. His hair hadn’t grown too much, but he’d surely be due for a haircut whenever he’s able to be released. They asked about shaving the beard for him, but with the ventilator, they can’t. Once he’s off of it- for sure, but for now it stays.

Oscar had brought dinner for Ellen and Henry and they ate quietly together in the room. The White House had been making meals to send, to make sure they were eating healthy enough. It was important they stay their best for Alex, and that’s how they wanted to contribute.

June came to spend the night with Henry, so Ellen could return to work the next day. She kissed Alex’s forehead, and spoke to him clearly that she was leaving and she’ll be back tomorrow. His response came in a low moan, and his fingers twitched to draw up into a fist, grabbing some of the soft blanket a long the way.

“Tell your mother I’m very thankful for her gift again. That was very sweet of her.” Ellen said, kissing the top of Henry’s head, and then Junes before leaving.

June and Henry decided tonight they would watch a movie, and what better than Star Wars. They put on Alex’s favorite, Empire, and watched quietly on either side of the bed, with the light turned low.

“Do you think he’s dreaming about it?” June asked. Henry looked to her, realizing she’d been leaning into the bed staring at her brother.

“I suppose so.” Henry shrugged. “It’s hard to tell. I like to think he is, but he could be dreaming of something entirely different.”

“I just want to wake him up.”

“As do I, love.”

“It’s crazy to think he’s been in a coma for almost three weeks.” June sighed.

“I know.” Henry frowned, taking Alex’s hand into his. He likes to imagine every clench of his hand is him actually holding it, but he knows the truth and it stings his heart a little.

“We should tell him he was in a coma for ten years, and that the new President of the United States is Snoop Dog.” June smiled, resting her head against her palm scanning over Alex’s face.

“You’re terrible.” Henry giggled.

“What! You know he’d do it to one of us!”

“Oh, I know he would.” Henry nodded, squeezing Alex’s hand. Henry froze when he felt a much more deliberate squeeze of Alex’s fingers around his palm in return. “Alex?” Henry asked, all the color draining from his face.

“What’s wrong?” June’s eyes grew at Henry’s stern expression. When he stood, she stood out of pure apprehension. “Henry, what’s wrong?” She asked again.

“He just squeezed my hand…Alex, if you can hear me…squeeze my hand again, darling.” Henry tried. He waited, and June watched. June noticed it immediately, the flex of muscle in Alex’s turned up wrist drew taunt and his fingertips curled in on Henry’s hand again. This time it held for a few seconds longer than usual. It was very weak, but it was there and he was certainly trying. June rushed to flick on a light, and Alex let out a strained moan, and his hand jerked away from Henry against his thigh.

“Alex, it’s June…Henry and I are here with you. Open your eyes babes.” June said, leaning over the bed to look at him. They’d seen rapid eye movement for days under his lids, but he never opens them voluntarily. In that moment, Alex groaned deep in his chest, and his head lulled to the side ever so slightly, but they noticed it. It was hard not to when you’ve been staring at someone so still for so long.

“Alex, love. Open your eyes. It’s alright.” Henry said, petting down his hair. June would look between Alex and Henry, just wanting something to change.

“Well?” June started, “Do we get a nurse?”

“No, not until he opens his eyes.” Henry said. His eyes flicked up to the monitor where Alex’s heart rate was displayed and noticed the gradually climbing numbers. “I think he’s waking up.” Henry said, glancing back at him. Henry could feel Alex attempting to move his head under his hand and smiled.

“Darling, wake up. That’s it.”

“Come on Alex, you can do it. Open your eyes.” June cheered. They felt like new parents anxiously awaiting their child’s first steps.

Alex whined, and his brow knit together once more. Henry was holding Alex’s hand tightly, not wanting to let go for a second.

“I’m surprised he’s making any noise at all with that tube in his throat.” June attempted to look around the tubing.

“If I remember anything from my father, it’s that he was able to groan through his pain, but everything else was silent. No gagging sounds anymore, no talking…nothing, really…which I think terrified me the most about Alex’s situation. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t hear his voice again.”

“You’ll still have Alex…trust me, maybe not being able to insult you will be a godsent.” June joked. Henry glanced over at her.

“I rather be insulted, then have to talk to myself.” Henry sighed.

“You are whipped, Sir. You know that?”

Henry scoffed, “I am not! I love him dearly, and his voice is one of the things in this world I find to be a natural drug…I’m not sure that captures what I meant, but I’m exhausted and anything sounds right.”

“Henry…I will never understand what you and my brother have, but I’m happy you have it.” June smiled genuinely at Henry.

“Thank you.” Henry directed his smile toward her. “It means a lot to have your support-”

Alex whimpered, interrupting their moment and Henry looked down at him.

“Yes, yes. You’re still the star, love.” Henry laughed, patting his hand.

The night went on, more whimpers, more hand squeezes- no eyes. The morning rolled in, and a very tired Henry sat down to rest, and managed to doze off. June had done the same, but on the cot in the room.

Alex’s head lulled back and forth stiffly. His right hand grabbed at the blankets as his brow was knitting deeper on his forehead. His entire body was tense, and if he could yell, he would- but something stopped him. A nervous whimper escaped him, which hurt his throat. What the fuck is in his throat?

Alex wanted to cough, but couldn’t. He wanted to breath for himself but the inside of his nose felt raw, and bloody. Panic set in when he realized he wasn’t breathing for himself, and slowly but surely he inched his right arm up across his chest, and found the length of the blue tube inside his throat. Thank god for Henry having woken to the commotion of Alex’s whimpers, and caught him right before he grabbed the tube.

“No, no!” Henry sprung up from his chair, and grabbed at Alex’s hand, pulling it away. “No darling, don’t touch that.” Henry barked. June turned over on her cot to look at them.

“What’s wrong?” June asked, sitting up and rubbing at her sleepy eyes.

“Alex, are you awake?” He asked. June joined in on Alex’s left side and stared down at him for the millionth time expecting something to happen- anything at all.

“What happened?”

“He tried to grab at the tube.”

“That’s progress.” June nodded, hands on her hips.

“Good Morning.” A new day nurse walked in, pushing the curtains back.

“Morning.” Henry and June greeted in unison.

“Anything new with our friend Alex today? I’m Vanessa by the way, if you need anything for him, I’ll be here. I also put my name on the board.”

“Great.” June smiled.

“Yes, Alex tried to grab at the ventilator.” Henry said, and something like pride flashed across his face. He’s doing it- he’s waking up.

“Oh, well that’s a good sign. If he starts to do it again, we can strap down his hands. The waking up process is long and I know it seems harsh, but in the end it’s better for Alex to come to on his terms. From what I’ve read in his charts he’s come a long way.” Vanessa said, sticking her hands in her scrub pockets.

Henry shook his head, “He has…but that won’t be necessary. I can watch him.”

Vanessa looked to June, who gave her a sympathetic smile, almost to say ‘sorry…he’s a hard one to deny’. Upon Henry letting go of Alex’s hand for Vanessa to grab his vitals, his attempt on the tubing was more direct this time, having grabbed up closer to his face. Vanessa grabbed his hand, and spoke to him.

“Alexander, the tubes are there to help you sweetheart. Leave those in.” His rebuttal came in the form of a low moan. “You wanna tell us something? How about with your right hand? Hold up a finger if you can understand us.”

Henry watched intently as Alex’s hand moved, and his trembling index finger flicked up toward the ceiling.

“Wonderful, try again. Are you in pain? Does something hurt?” Vanessa asked. This time, they were all surprised that Alex had made a gesture of nodding his head ever so slightly forward.

“Great, Alex. I’ll get you something for that, in the meantime try to open your eyes. We’ll make it easier, okay? The lights are low in here, it won’t hurt.” Vanessa spoke clearly as she logged his vitals and notes about the current progress. June updated Nora’s document with the newest information and the calls poured in.

“He’s responding a lot more.” June explained to her mother. She sat in the corner of the room, and spoke quietly. Henry stood by his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to cry, but he willed it away. He didn’t want that to be what Alex saw when he first opened his eyes.

“Alex, love…it’s me…I’m so excited to see you. Please open your eyes.”

Alex lulled his head in the direction of Henry’s voice, and hardly made a sound. Instead, his shaky hand slowly flipped over on the mattress and Henry took that as a sign. He slipped his hand into his and waited. Alex’s fingers weakly curled around his hand and so much for not crying because Henry thought he would never stop.

“Mom is coming, she’ll be here soon.” June explained, going to Henry’s side. Henry nodded, and squeezed back at Alex’s hand.

“Please baby, open em’.” Henry begged softly.

“Alex, this is your sister. Open your eyes or I’m kicking your butt.” June was stern, but joking. Alex lulled his head again in no particular direction, but this time his knitted brow went from deep set to higher up his forehead. His eyes just about opened, but he blinked hard and his brow knit again.

“He’s trying.” Henry said hurriedly.

“It’s bright babes, I know. You’ll adjust…That’s a good thing though- he can see the light.” June said quietly to Henry. It was dark at first, and then the light crept in with a flutter of his eyes. June wasn’t kidding- then again, he hasn’t seen light in almost three weeks.

“Alex?” Henry sounded panicked. Alex lulled his head, unable to stop blinking and finally found a very blurry version of Henry’s outline. He knew it was him, his voice unmistakably his own. June was also there, but a little blurrier than Henry as she stood farther back.

“Oh my god, Alex!” June cried out, and slapped a hand over her mouth to stop an embarrassingly loud sob.

“Darling can you see us?” Henry asked. Alex couldn’t make out any facial features, but nodded anyway because he could in-fact see them, just not completely. “That’s wonderful!” Henry chimed, squeezing his hand. Henry leaned over the bed and placed a kiss to his forehead. That made Alex happy inside, but he was groggy as all get out. Nothing was making sense other than their voices. His body felt so heavy, and numb. Was it even there? Did he lose half of his body? His right hand felt like the only thing he could move. His head felt like a fifteen-pound bowling ball and upon trying to lift it forward it fell back stiffly onto the strange pillow his head was on.

“No, love. Relax, don’t try to move too much.”

It felt like an eternity went by until there was another unfamiliar voice in the room, and then two others.

“He says he can see us.” Henry explained to the other blurry blobs in the room. The two who stood closest to him were blobs of bright white, and the other a pale blue blob.

“Alex, you’ve been out for a quite a bit, anything hurt? Just nod.” The first white blob asked. Alex couldn’t figure out what the fuck was happening. Out for a bit? How long?  

The second white blob of a person opened his eye lid and shone a light across his eyes. It burned like fire to Alex and he flinched away, only have now hurt his left shoulder from the sudden motion.

“My apologies. You’re going to be sensitive to light for a little bit. Are you in pain anywhere else? Can you point to it?” The first white blob asked. Alex didn’t respond. He just wanted this fucking tube out of his throat already! He went to grab it again, and the white blobs stopped him.

“Let’s get him some restraints.” He whispered behind him. Alex didn’t like this. He pulled his hand away lazily, and an unexpected moan rose from his chest.

“Please, Dr. Abrams don’t, he doesn’t need that.” Henry argued.

“It’s better he doesn’t pull at the tubing. We need him to wake up a little more before we take it out.”

“I’ll be here to watch him. Please don’t.” Henry said, taking hold of Alex’s hand again. Alex felt loopy within seconds, he wasn’t sure why.

“I gave you a little more pain medication. You should feel better soon.” The blue blob said. There it is. He didn’t want to feel loopy anymore, he wanted to be awa-

Henry watched as Alex’s eyes closed again, and he dozed off to sleep. A part of him was angry they did that, and another part knew he needed to rest more. Henry was aggravated, and mostly sleep deprived.

“I need tea or something.” Henry grimaced, getting up and leaving the room. June stayed behind to wait for her mother to arrive. It was another half-hour until she did, and was disappointed Alex was asleep still. June explained he’d woken up, but they gave him more meds, so he got tired again.

“Where is Henry?” She asked, looking around.

“He’s getting food. He was pissed he fell asleep again.”

“That poor kid. He needs rest.”

“I tried to make him take the cot, but he refused.” June shrugged.

“He’s going to collapse from his nerves and exhaustion.” Ellen frowned, walking over to her son’s side. She brushed at his hair, and gasped softly when his head turned in her direction and his eyes flickered open.

“Well, hey there, Sugar.” Ellen spoke softly, still petting at his hair with the sweetest of smiles.

A calmness overtook Alex that wasn’t present in the room earlier. He felt safe, and warm with her around him. He could smell her perfume, and it burned his raw nose, but he liked it. Having his head pet was also quite soothing and very reminiscent of a time when he was younger and sick. The steadiness of her hand, and the gentle way she’d speak to him was what he yearned for.

“It’s alright, sugar. Just relax. It’s alright.” She coached him. Tears streamed down and across his temples, and Ellen wiped at them.

“You’re okay.” She said again. He didn’t feel okay. Something was wrong. “June, tissue.” She said and June handed her the box and placed it up by his head. She took one out and started to dab his eyes.

“Baby, can you get me a warm washcloth. I want to get this gunk out of his eyes.” She asked, and June did as she was asked. She ran a small washcloth under warm water and then brought it to her mother. “That’s good. There you go, sugar. Feel better?” Ellen asked, wiping the warm cloth over his eyes. It was replaced eventually with a cold sensation from the heat wearing off, but his vision cleared to a slight blur that he’s just going to have to work out in time.

Alex nodded his head stiffly again, feeling the pull in his muscles at the back of his neck. Everything was so stiff. He left out a strained groan, which felt trapped in his chest.

“You’re alright, sugar. Relax, now.” Ellen spoke softly again, restraining his hand he hadn’t realized he was bringing up to his face.

“They wanted to put him in restraints, but Henry said no.” June explained.

“That’s alright. He doesn’t need em’. He’s just confused right now.” Ellen said, and for the first time, Alex was able to look at her and make out a clearer picture.

When Ellen finally left his side a moment to talk to the doctor’s, he glanced around the room lazily, and took notice of everything. Across from him on the tray table was a bunch of colorful rectangles, followed by a vase of flowers. A few balloons that were starting to deflate, and a basket with a frilly bow at the top. He eyed June who was furiously typing away at her phone and then his eyes cast down to his blanket. He started at the end of the bed, where two mountains stood under the sheets. His feet. They had to be- good. He wasn’t missing his lower body then. The one leg however sat higher, on a pillow and looked insanely larger compared to the other. He trailed up the blankets until he got to his lap and there, he could make out a hard shell with his right hand. He was curious enough to attempt to pull the sheets down to see what it was.

He however wasn’t strong enough, so when June noticed him struggling, she got up and assisted him. “You want to see?” June asked. Alex nodded stiffly again.

June pulled back the covers to reveal Alex’s casted left leg that ended around his middle. Alex was confused.

“We’ll talk about it later, babes.” June frowned. She didn’t want to upset him, and his injuries went way beyond just this…there was no way he’d come out of this without crying about it.

Alex patted his left arm through the sling and furrowed his brow.

“You had surgery on your shoulder. You have to leave it in there for a bit.” June explained. Alex nodded. The last thing was the bandage over his chest and the throbbing pain his head. But he didn’t motion to those. He doesn’t feel like it anymore. He’s clearly broken- nothing more to add.

But why, why was he this broken?  

An hour passed and Henry finally returned to the room. He took a much-needed walk, and even called Beatrice in the meantime to take his mind off Alex. He thought he’d be happy to have him awake, but he was struggling for some reason.

“Henry, did you stop to think that maybe you’ve set your expectations too high?” She asked. “Alex still has a very long road ahead…he’s not going to be well with a snap of your fingers.”

“I know this, Bea…I just-”

“We all want Alex to be back to normal, love.”

“It’s not about that. I understand he may be different from all this, I understand he’ll have limitations…it’s the…I dunno if I’m explaining this right.” He paced the hallway lined with floor to ceiling windows on the left and a curved wall to his right.

“Just say it.” She breathed.

“It sounds selfish.” Henry warned.

“Henry, just talk.” She was stern.

“…I just don’t know if I’ll be able to-”

“Love the new Alex?”

“That sounds even worse…no, it’s more or less about having the patience to learn everything over again. What if he’s entirely different? What if he’s no longer snarky? I may sound stupid for saying this, but our personalities are what drive us…we complete one another, Bea.”

“Henry,”

“-I know, I know…I’m terrible for thinking it.” Henry grimaced, running a hand through his hair, watching his shoes tread over the egg shell colored tile.

“No. That’s not what I was going to say. Stop interrupting me…what I was going to say is, you have every right to be scared, and worried for Alex’s wellbeing. Just remember that you love him for who he is, and will learn to love the new things about him- if there even are any! Once again, you’re jumping the gun on something you have no idea is even there. Give it time. He seemed to know you, so thankfully he doesn’t have amnesia or something.”

“I’ll try…” Henry nods, and bids his sister a farewell before heading back to the room. When he returns, Alex is awake and Ellen is talking with him. He obviously can’t respond back, but it seems as though he’s listening to her.

Henry stops in the doorway, and eyes him. Alex looks up casually and their eyes lock on one another. They have an unspoken bond, he’s grateful to see is still there. Ellen turned to find Henry and smiles at him.

“Our boys awake.” She says.

“I see.” Henry nods, with a grin. June had stepped out to make another phone call, and it was just him, Ellen and Alex.

“What have you told him?” Henry whispered, approaching them.  

“Not much. I didn’t want to scare him.” She whispered over her shoulder. Alex watched them interact, and began trying to figure out what they were talking about. He can’t remember why he was here. He recalls some of the nightmares he had, but they come in waves back to his memory. The fog being the one that sticks out the most to him. Sometimes he reimagines the room in Paris when he closes his eyes, but it goes away as fast as it comes.

“You don’t think he forgets, do you?”

“I just don’t think he remembers what happened right now. I expected him to be more skittish, but he’s not.” She said lowly.

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” Henry shrugged. Ellen nodded, and squeezed Alex’s hand. He withdrew it, and rubbed at his eyes.

When the doctors came in a second time, Alex could finally make out a difference to them opposed to their original white blobby images he had of them.

“I think we’ll get a team in here, and take you off the ventilator, you like the sound of that?” Dr. Fields asked, looking to Alex. Alex was rightfully confused, but he assumed they wanted him to reply. He gave a short nod, and closed his eyes. “Beautiful, we’ll be back.”

“Oh Alex, that’s great news, sugar.” Ellen beamed, and reached into her pocket for her phone. She sent a group text to say Alex was officially awake and the ventilator was coming off. Soon enough, Oscar arrived, June returned and Leo joined them shortly after. They took the rule away for this day in particular, just so everyone could be here in support, they just couldn’t crowd the nurses who were helping.  

Doctor Abrams was on Alex’s right and a nurse stood on Alex’s left, waiting for approval to start. He needed to do one last evaluation in order to clear him.

“Can you wiggle your toes for me, Alex?” Dr. Abrams asked, looking at Alex’s exposed feet. Alex looked at Dr. Abrams when he realized, after staring at his feet for a moment that he in fact could not. This scared him a little, and Dr. Abrams noticed the hesitation in his face.

“It’s alright, let’s try something else. Can you give me a thumbs up with your right hand?” He asked. Alex looked at his right hand, and the weakness in it made it harder to even lift it without it slamming down on himself or the bed. He managed a poor thumbs up, but it was there.

“Good, how about your left?” He asked. Alex found his left in even worse shape. The weakness came in a mere muscle spasm and that was it.

“That’s alright, we’ll get it back. You feel okay, like you can breathe on your own if we take this out?” He asked, tapping the tube. Alex nodded. YES PLEASE- Take it out.

“Can you do one more thing for me? I need you tell me if you feel me touching you?” Dr. Abrams asked. His hand was over Alex’s right thigh, and he had a stylus pen pressing into the skin there. Alex looked at it and panic set in. Alex shook his head gently and Dr. Abrams nodded.

“Alright, well it’s early. Let’s get this started, and get you unhooked from these machines. He’s responding well. He’s very weak, but I have faith he’s going to do well once we get him off this.” He said, patting Alex’s shoulder. The team of nurses started moving around Alex, and prepping the area. Ellen stood by, Oscar at her shoulder to watch. Henry was at the end of the bed, eyes locked with Alex’s. They laid some paper sheets down under his chin and across his chest, and laid supplies there as well. They raised Alex’s bed more to a sitting position, but his cast only allowed him to sit up so far.

They started by removing the straps holding back the sticky pads that sat round his mouth, and began by removing the pads from his face. Alex’s discomfort was primarily from his beard having now been stuck to the adhesive. Ellen couldn’t watch at one point as Alex struggled with the moving of the tubes. Henry even flinched at his expression, but held strong and made sure to be there when Alex needed reassurance. Tears streamed down Alex’s face when the nurse inserted a skinny tube-like wire into the port and pushed it down Alex’s throat.

“This is just suction, Alex, we’ll do it one more time, but the next time the tube comes out with it, okay?” Vanessa said directly, and pushed the tube down quickly. His gags were silent, but it was no secret how uncomfortable it was to him. Henry wanted to scream for them to stop, but it was almost over. A horrible gurgling noise could be heard as the suction was further down, and Alex wasn’t having it. He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably, his brow furrowing, and his hand grasping at the blankets. Ellen promised not to get in the way, but grabbed for his hand. He held on tighter than he had before, and she knew instantly he was scared.

“You’re doing great, sugar. You’re almost done.” Ellen coached him.

More suction, then Vanessa clicked something in her hand and pulled the thinner tube taunt causing Alex to violently gag, but once again it was silent, but a lot of gurgling sounds. They took an external suction wand and got all around the inside of his mouth. They instructed him that this time, the suction would go in and the tube will come with it. They loosened the sticky pads on his face again and when she started to insert the suction tube again his face contorted violently, and with a strained cough followed by another silent gag, the tube was withdrawn from his throat.

“Great job, Alex.” Vanessa said, taking the tube and putting it in a bin. Another nurse made quick work of the suction wand inside his mouth to catch vomit that came up, and cleaned him up. They kept the feeding tube in place, that Alex attempted to pull out, and replaced the ventilator with an oxygen face mask that covered his nose and mouth. Alex rested his head back, while they listened to his lungs, and his throat. His blood pressure had ridden a bit, but it was falling gradually back to normal.

“Feel better?” Ellen asked. Alex nodded, and touched the outside of his oxygen mask. He took a breath, like a sigh of relief and closed his eyes- happy to have it out.

“Your throat is going to be a little sore, we’ll get you a water sponge. He can’t have any fluids yet, but we’ll get you guys a water sponge you can use to wet his mouth.” Vanessa explained to Alex, and then turned to Henry before leaving the room with the trash she had from the procedure.

Everyone waited patiently for Alex to relax, and to let them know he was okay. When he finally looked up at everyone, he was still quiet but content.

“I know you’re tired baby, so rest up. We’ll be here.” His mother said, rubbing his arm. He nodded and rested his head back again.

The day was long, and when night rolled around, Alex was wide awake. Ellen, Oscar and Leo had gone home after saying their goodbyes and even June admitted she needs to sleep in a real bed. Nora came to get her, and came to see Alex for a bit. Alex seemed happy she was there, and told him she’ll most definitely be back tomorrow to hang out with him. Until then, it would be Alex and Henry.

Henry lowered the lights in the room, and Alex laid there watching TV. His eyes were heavy, but he managed to keep them open. Henry put on chopped for him, which in turn was probably a poor decision because he can’t eat anything yet. He didn’t seem to care, and watched mindlessly.

“Do you need anything else, love?” Henry asked, clapping his hands together in front of him. Alex lulled his head to the right, looked at him and presented his hand to him.

“Absolutely.” Henry smiled, and pulled up a chair. Alex shook his head, and patted the bed weakly.

“In bed with you?” Henry raised an eyebrow. Alex nodded. Henry took a deep breath and looked out toward the nurse’s station.

“Christ, I don’t know if I’m allowed, love. They have sensors on the bed.” He explained. Alex looked so sad at his words, that he basically said fuck it- yell at him if they have to! Henry had to make due of the little space he had and helped to move Alex to the left a little more. He climbed into bed beside Alex on his good side, and laid on his left to give Alex more room. Henry feared breaking something of Alex’s, so he remained very still.

Henry curled his left arm up behind his head, and placed the other gently on Alex’s chest, trying to avoid the wound there. Alex turned his head to be able to gaze into Henry’s eyes, and when it all became too much, the tears poured out. Henry frowned, and brought his hand up to Alex’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, rubbing the scruffiness of his cheek with his thumb. They fell asleep to the sweet whispers of Henry telling him he’ll be alright, and that he wasn’t going anywhere that Alex wasn’t.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

When Henry woke the next morning, he was still beside Alex in bed. His arm had stiffened behind his head having been there all night, and moving it was awfully painful. Alex was wide awake, watching TV quietly, and Henry couldn’t tell if he was actually watching or just staring off into space. He was blinking a lot, and he automatically knew Alex was thinking really hard about something.

“Good morning, love.” Henry’s voice raspy, and still full of sleep. His body crackled and popped as he rolled out of the bed, and once standing he arched his back, feeling all the joints snap into place. He groaned, rubbing the small of his back and turned around to see Alex staring at him.

“Did you sleep at all?” Henry asked. Alex shook his head. Henry could tell he hadn’t, simply by the dark circles under his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry love. Was it because of me?” He asked, placing his hands on his chest. Alex shook his head again, and laid it back against the pillows. He turned his attention back to the TV and furrowed his brows. Henry looked up and his eyes locked on the headline across the bottom of the screen.

‘FSOTUS FINALLY AWAKE AFTER TWO AND A HALF WEEKS IN COMA’

Henry breathed in steadily, and turned back to Alex. He didn’t feel it was right to hide the news from him, being as he knows what happened, but seeing reports about himself is not what he needs right now.

“How about we turn that off?” Henry suggested. Alex shook his head. “We can talk about it later, love. Let’s turn it off for now.” Henry said, trying to hit the power button on the remote. Alex glared at him and his mouth opened just enough for a noise of protest to come out. It sounded like a very raspy ‘no’, but Henry wasn’t sure.

“Alex, you don’t need to watch this right now, please don’t do this to yourself.” He said, locking eyes with him. Alex didn’t protest again given he could see how hurt Henry looked. His eyes traveled down to the remote and he hit the power button. The TV clicked off, and Henry appeared relieved. Alex wanted to know what happened to make Henry this concerned for him, but at the same time seeing Henry this upset wasn’t worth it.

Very muted, but loud enough to hear, “I…” Alex began, and it was so raspy, and it hurt- but he kept trying. Henry waited patiently to hear the rest, but Alex shook his head with a sniffle. What he wanted to say didn’t feel super important enough to strain himself.

The nurse came in eventually to check on Alex for the morning, and orderly changed Alex’s sheets with him in them. Henry was in awe of how trained these men were. He thought it probably felt so good to be in fresh bedding too, and soon enough he was going to get a sponge bath. Henry offered to shave Alex, so that’s what he did come noon.

Alex was sat up in bed as best as he could be while Henry slathered his face with shaving cream. Alex moved his head around in attempt to help Henry with difficult spots and weakly smiled when Henry made the last swipe across his cheek with the razor. Their eyes met for a moment and Henry just looked into them with an overwhelming sense of love.

“You don’t know how grateful I am to be looking into your eyes…and to have you looking back at me.” Henry confessed quietly. Alex blinked, and kept his attention on him.  

Henry shook the razor out in the cup of water he was using and returned it to Alex’s face to clean up any missed hairs. He gave Alex a once over and when he found his work was satisfactory, he grinned and placed a kiss to Alex’s forehead, down the bridge of his nose and ending on his chapped lips. He held the kiss for a second longer than planned, and when he pulled way, Alex was grinning with his eyes closed.

Henry brought the cup and razor to the bathroom and cleaned up before returning to Alex with a warm, wet towel. He pressed it to Alex’s face, and caught the little flash of pleasure that he got from the moist heat upon his skin.

“That feel good, love?” Henry asked. Alex nodded with a little grunt, and brought his right hand up to wrap around Henry’s wrist, keeping him from moving the towel.

“How’s our boy today?” Oscar entered the room with a reusable grocery bag in one hand, and a coffee in the other.

“Doing quite well, actually.” Henry replied, still holding the towel to Alex’s face. Alex released his grip on Henry when the towel had cooled.

“Shall I heat it again?” Henry asked. Alex shook his head, and leaned his head to look around Henry at his dad.

“Hey Mijo.” Oscar smiled, coming over and placing a kiss to the top of his head. Alex reached out and held Oscar’s arm as he previously did with Henry. Oscar stayed close for a moment, just holding Alex’s head with his hands. He had his forehead pressed to Alex’s hair, and they held the moment for a while until Oscar felt Alex had enough of him.

“I love you, Mijo…you have no idea how happy I am that you’re awake.” Oscar whispered, kissing his head again before pulling away.

You don’t know how grateful I am to be looking into your eyes

You have no idea how happy I am that you’re awake

FSOTUS FINALLY AWAKE AFTER TWO AND A HALF WEEKS IN COMA

Two and a half weeks in a coma

You’re awake

How’s our boy today?

Alex can’t help but run over in his mind what was being said to him on repeat. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He just has this horrible feeling running through him, and the only thing he can compare it to is when you have to sneeze, but you can’t…it’s just there and you want it to happen- but it won’t. You keep enduring the sensation like it’s going to happen, but nothing.

Alex winces when a twinge of pain in his back startles him. Henry notices, and asks if he needs anything, but he refuses. Alex stares at his legs, and remembers he can’t move them. His brain isn’t connecting, and it frustrates him. Soon his family is occupying the room, but he’s drowning them out. June is talking to Oscar about something and his mom is busy making a fuss about his blankets when the doctors come in. Dr. Fields and Dr. Abrams speak with Alex as they did the day before and now, he can focus a bit more. He’s still oddly groggy here and there, and this dizzy feeling takes him over- but he can understand them finally.

“Can you wiggle your toes for me?” Dr. Abrams asks. Alex looked at his exposed feet, and he scrunches his face at the frustration building behind the lack of feeling in his lower half.

“Can you feel when I touch you?” Dr. Abrams asks, poking the tip of his closed pen into Alex’s skin. Alex is looking at the pen and the indent being made by the doctor and he’s disappointed in himself for not being able to feel it. He doesn’t realize he’s showing how upset he is until everyone starts telling him it’s okay. He remembers getting upset about it, but he doesn’t recall crying over it. Henry is dabbing his face, and he’s tired already. He wants to sleep, so they let him.

The first few days out of the coma were horrible for Alex. The pain was setting in, and sleep was an on and off thing for him until he couldn’t stay asleep at all. They managed his pain with meds, but he hated how groggy he felt on them, so he asked that they lay off of them a bit.  

It wasn’t until day 4 of being awake did Alex start recalling things. When he would dose off, flashes of memories would startle him awake. He thought they were nightmares at first, but then he realized they seemed all too real to be just nightmares. He watched another news report while Henry was asleep, and it involved a press release from the White House. It went over the current investigation, and then it hit him- the explosion at the Oval Office…the explosion he was in.

It’s safe to say Alex lost remote privileges very fast. October 9^th, to be exact. A very, very bad day for Alex. It hit him like a freight train- all the memories from the day flowing back like an unwelcomed migraine. Where he was, what happened, and why he was in the hospital. All because of the repeated reports for the last two weeks as they covered the story of Alex waking up.

Alex had a severe panic attack, and the nurses ended up having to retrain him for a little bit. They gave him some medicine to calm him down and he slept most of the day away for the first time in a while. When he finally woke up that night, he seemed fine, but he would periodically remember things and cry about it. Henry tried his best to calm him, his mother tried…June…Nora. No one could get him to a less fragile state. It was going to be a long road to recovery for Alex, and Ellen was still pissed. It was the final straw that lit the fire under her ass to get answers. She wanted to know and she wanted to know now.

Ellen spent most of her days at the White House, working with the Security and investigative team, along with the FBI while everyone else stayed at the hospital with Alex.

October 25^th, 2023

Alex opened his eyes when a nurse came into his room.

“Hello, no visitors this morning?” She looked around.

“No.” Alex responded. “I told them to stay home and get sleep.” Alex explained. His voice had gotten much better over the weeks since he woke up, but he just couldn’t seem to knock the rasp out of it. He was also exhausted, and constantly having nightmares that made him wake up screaming- so that was partially to blame too.

“Speaking of sleep, did you get any last night?” She asked, taking down his vitals and writing something into the computer.

“No. I wasn’t tired.” He shook his head and she chuckled.

“You need to sleep, Alex. I know you’re tired. You’re falling asleep right now talking to me.” She pointed out.

“…I keep having them…I don’t ever sleep as it is, so what’s the point?” Alex confessed, touching his chest. The bandages were off, and there was now just a large singular bandage covering his incision on his chest.

“Well, you have a psych appointment today. That should start to help you. How about this for good news, huh? We’re taking you to get an x-ray today, and we might be able to take that cast off and give you a shorter one. That means you’ll most likely be able to move around a bit more, and we can start getting you back on regular food.”

“Psych? I don’t need to-” Alex began his protest, and the nurse glared at him.

“Alex, it’s your ticket out of here, first of all.”

“My ticket out of here? I can’t feel my fucking legs- how is a psych appointment my ticket out of here?”

She sighed, “It’s one of the many tickets. And watch the language, sir.” She smirked.

“Yeah? When do I get to use these tickets?”

“Alex,” She warned. “You and I both know-”

“Yeah, yeah- all depends on me. I’m just occupying a bed that someone needs. This is pointless.” He dismissed her with a wave of his hand and looked back up at the blank TV.

“You do need the bed, Alex…You’re doing better every day. You’ve come a long way believe it or not. You can’t put a time frame on healing.” She said, and he ignored her. The nurse looked from Alex to the TV and frowned.

“I’m twenty-five years old, and I’m still getting the TV taken away from me.” Alex laughed. “Isn’t that great? My own family thinks I can’t handle myself.” Alex smiles, and it fades to something bitter and depressed.  

“Alright. I’m going to leave you be. Please get some rest. We can give you something to help you sleep if you want it. You know where the button is.”

“No more drugs.” Alex groaned quietly, closing his eyes until she was gone.

An hour passed, and like she said- X-ray time. They brought him down, and moved him over onto the flat table. They positioned him a few times, and got the images they needed. Dr. Fields came to speak with him later and discussed that he was healing very well. He got the ‘OK’ to remove the cast, so all afternoon he was in Ortho.

“Did you ever have a cast, Alex?” He asked, bringing out the saw to cut off the current one. Alex nodded, and made mention to a broken arm one year when he was younger.

“So, you remember this guy?” He smiled, showing him the saw. Alex nodded, and rested his head back. It didn’t mean he was looking forward to it, however. It took them about a half hour to remove the cast all the way down his leg, and up around his hip. When they did remove it, Alex felt a tremendous weight come off his body. He tried to convince himself not to look, but curiosity got the best of him. He drew his eyes down toward his hip and grimaced at the sight of his own pelvis. The hip Henry loves to kiss- stitched up, and broken. The bruise and swelling in the area was unreal. It’d been weeks and he can only imagine what it looked like before this. The skin was warm and such a deep purple, Alex thought to himself it may always look like that now.

“You’re healing pretty nicely, Alex. You should be happy about that.”

You should be happy about that   

The Ortho touched the area with gloved hands and inspected the bruising along with the incision leading from just above his hip and down the side of his outer thigh.

“I need another cast?” Alex asked, watching him touch the tender skin.

“Well…I think we might be able to get away with setting it. We repaired the break, so as long as you don’t move it around without help, we’re good to leave it off.” He said, still inspecting it. “We’ll put a brace on you to stabilize your hip, but it will be removable. You have some pins we placed, which you can see here.” The doctor showed Alex the x-rays.

“I can’t move my legs anyway.” Alex replied. The Ortho looked at him and smiled.

“Not for long. We’re going to get you back to walking, Alex. It’s my mission.”

For the first time, someone didn’t make him feel like he was teetering on the edge of a ‘maybe’.

“You really think I will?” Alex asked, watching the doctor apply something to his skin.

“Yes, I do. We have a great physical therapy center here. We’ll get you walking again. It’s not going to be easy, but I will work closely with them to make sure we get you back.” He smiled reassuringly down at him, and worked with another person to help roll Alex onto his good side. It was slightly painful, but they laid him back down on top of the brace, added the appropriate cushioning and then he was back to his room for his psych appointment.   

When he arrived back, Henry was sitting across the room on a chair, with a book in his hands. Alex recognized the book; it was one of their cheesy romance novels they read to each other. When they rolled in, Henry popped his head up, and placed the book down. They set Alex’s bed in place, and in no time at all, Henry was at Alex’s side.

“How’d it go?” He asked.

“Fine. Got my cast off, and they said I could keep it off.” Alex said, drawing the covers off his side with his right hand. His left arm was still in the sling, and painful to move.  

“Oh, wonderful! That’s great news, love. Did they say anything else?” He beamed, and it made Alex happy to see him excited about his progress.

“I’m healing well apparently. But my hip looks like shit.”

“They said that?” Henry’s expression fell. Alex shook his head with a laugh.

“No, I did.” He replied, and Henry’s eyes glazed over. “What?” Alex asked, a growing concern at Henry’s shift in behavior.

“Nothing…I just…you laughed.” Henry noted sadly. Alex licked his lips, and he felt like the joy was sucked right out of the room. Finally, a normal conversation- ruined with pointing out another milestone on this stupid journey he never wanted to go on.  

“Whatever. I laugh all the time. It’s not special.” Alex sniped.

“It is when I haven’t-”

“Why did you come today? I told everyone to stay home.” Alex glared up at him. Henry sucked in a breath and looked at Alex through a slight squint.

“I didn’t think I fell in the category of everyone.” Henry explained.

“I said everyone. I just needed a day to myself.” Alex groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his finger and thumb into them, rubbing the sleep or annoyance away. “No one has left me alone for an entire day. All you guys do is come here, cry over me, and then go home. I’m tired of it.”

“Alex-”

“No- don’t ALEX, me. I don’t need people’s sympathy. You all treat me like a priceless vase. I’m not going to shatter because you’re not around. I’ll be here tomorrow- just go home.”

“First of all, I wasn’t Alex-ing you. Second of all- ‘M not giving you my sympathy, or treating you like a priceless vase. I’m simply trying to be here for you because I love you. I know you’ll be here tomorrow, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to see you today…there was a moment in time I didn’t feel like I’d get a tomorrow, and I know it seems like a lot with us being here- but you need to understand what we went through too, Alexander. It wasn’t easy.”

“Don’t call me Alexander. You do that when you’re angry with me.”

“Shocker.” Henry rolled his eyes.

“So, you are angry with me?” Alex picked his head up.

“I’m not upset with you, Alex…I’m just trying to make you see you aren’t the only one going through something right now. Yes, your troubles are far worse than any of ours, but believe me when I say I’ve had the hardest two months of my life thus far, waiting for you to open your eyes and then having you tell me I’m just another person in your life you don’t want to see right now. Am I being selfish? Probably. Do I give a shite? No.” Henry bit back. Alex was speechless and he hated it. The stubborn bull in him wanted to scream- have the last word, but he held it back. Henry was right after all. He was being mean to the one person in this world who would give his own life to save him.

“I’m sorry.” Alex whispered, closing his eyes.

“Don’t be.” Henry sounded stern, which made Alex look up at him again. When he opened his eyes, Henry had turned back around and was collecting his things.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked quickly.

Henry seemed cold all of a sudden, “I’m giving you your space. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Henry pulled on his oversized sweater, and stuffed the book under his arm.  

“Don’t do this Henry, please?” Alex groaned.

“What do you want from me, Alex?”

“I don’t fucking know- just not this.” Alex frowned.

“Well, take today to figure it out. I’ll check back with you tomorrow.”

“Can I at least have my phone back tomorrow?” Alex asked. Henry came over, kissed his forehead, and shook his head.

“Not up to me. Your mother has it…” He explained. Henry paused, and put his book on the bed. Alex watched as Henry’s hands met at the back of his neck. He fiddled with something, and then drew the chain out from under his shirt, through the collar. He handed him the necklace with the broken key, his engagement ring, and the dented signet ring. Alex took it into his hand and stared at it. Unable to comprehend that Henry had it on the entire time, but also concerned he hadn’t realized it was missing from his person in the first place.

“Is this a weird form of you breaking up with me?” Alex asked, glancing up at him. Henry shook his head.

“No. It’s simply a reminder that the people who love you are always going to be here to protect you even if you don’t see it. That’s proof right there.” Henry sniffled, pointing to the necklace. Alex swallowed hard, and rubbed his thumb over the broken piece of key. Henry kissed is head again before leaving. Alex wanted to call him back, but he rather reflect on himself again. And what perfect timing-

There was a knock at the door and in came the psychotherapist for his first appointment. He was a tall man, probably about Henry’s height, and was dressed casually in a vertical pin-striped dress shirt, navy blazer and what Alex likes to call Chinos in a beige color.

“It’s nice to meet you Alex, I’m Doctor Blackman.” The man introduced, shaking Alex’s hand. Alex was all but looking forward to this. Doctor Blackman took a seat beside his bed, and crossed one leg over the other, resting a notepad against his leg.

“Can we just get started- skip the intro shit?” Alex asked, lying his hand over his chest.  

“Sure, I’m excited that you’re eager to start, that’s a good thing.”

Alex held his hand up to him, “No, don’t get confused. I don’t want to do this- I rather just get it over with.”

“Ah, I see. And why don’t you want to do this?” He asked, writing something down on his notepad.

“It’s stupid. I’m fine.” Alex shrugged, picking at the little lint balls on the blanket.

“Okay, well let’s talk for a little bit, and we’ll see where we’re at.” Dr. Blackman explains. “Is it alright if I-” He asks, hovering the notepad over the bed. Alex nods, and he places it down. Dr. Blackman sits back, crosses his arms and looks to Alex with a smile.  

“So…how are you feeling, Alex?”

“Well…my eyebrows don’t hurt, so there’s that.” Alex shrugs, and then winces when his shoulder protests. Dr. Blackman watches quietly. Alex relaxes against his pillows and curses under his breath at the pain.

“I ran into Prince Henry on the way in here.”

“Okay.” Alex says flatly.

“He said you didn’t want visitors today?”

“No.”

“Why not?” He asked, uncrossing his arms and resting them in his lap.

“I don’t want to feel crowded today. I’ve had people here everyday since the minute I woke up.”

“You don’t like having visitors?”

Alex shakes his head, “No, it’s not that. I like visitors…I just don’t like having people fuss over me all day.”

“Is that what they’re doing? Fussing over you?”

“Usually. They come in, and my mom fixes the blankets, and my sister sits and stares at me, then she cries about how I’m awake even thought it’s been weeks since I woke up. I just can’t take it anymore.” Alex sounds exhausted just talking about it.

Dr. Blackman agrees, “That sounds frustrating.”

Alex shrugs his right shoulder, and keeps his eyes locked on the blanket in his lap that came from Catherine.

Dr. Blackman is silent for a bit, and he waits for Alex, but nothing. Alex looks to him, and grimaces.

“What?” Alex snips. Dr. Blackman smiles, and shakes his head to dismiss Alex’s question.

“Nothing, just waiting to see if you wanted to continue talking.”

“No.” Alex quirks the corner of his lip up in disgust.  

“Okay…can I ask you a question then?”

“You’re going to anyway, so yeah.”

Dr. Blackman smiles, and looks at his lap, “Alright…Do you remember what happened on September 15^th?”

“What kind of question is that?” Alex furrows his brows at him.

“It’s just a question.” He shrugs.

Alex fights the urge to give a snarky answer, and really thinks about it.

“Of course, I do…I was there.” He replies finally.

“Can you tell me in your own words what happened?”

“Why?”

“Humor me.” The doctor shrugs his hands.

“Isn’t this counterproductive? Shouldn’t we be trying to get me to forgot about it?” Alex asks.

“No…that’s actually not what we need to do…we need to work through what happened so you can move past it…but Alex, you’re not going to forget even if you will the thoughts away. They will come back to you, whether you want them to or not. What we can do instead of having that happen is help you cope-”

“Cope? I don’t need to cope with this shit! I’m fine forgetting about it, and just fighting the urge to think about it. I’ve been doing that.”

“That’s not going to work for me.” Dr. Blackman explained, shaking his head.

“Well its been working for me.” Alex argued back.    

“Well, from what I’ve gathered, you’ve been having some pretty difficult nightmares…is this true?”

“Well, yeah but everyone does.”  

“Yeah…sometimes. But your nightmares have been pretty intense and constant…haven’t they?”

Alex shrugged, wincing again- curse that fucking shoulder. He ignored the question, and Dr. Blackman wrote something down. Every time Alex ignored something he said- he jotted it down.

“Can you tell me what your dreams have been about?”

“Nothing. I don’t remember them.”

“Okay…then let’s go back a bit… do you remember what happened on September 15^th?”

“I already said yes!” Alex bit back.

“Alright, so what happened?”

“I was blown the fuck up, is that what you want to hear? Why do I need to tell you- its’ been all over the news!” Alex exploded, motioning his hand up at the blank TV.

You’ll get this back when you can handle it.

Alex gets stuck staring at the TV, and he can hear the voices over the last week dictating his every move- usually his mother. He blinks and remembers Dr. Blackman- he’s staring at Alex quietly.

“Alex…I just want you to tell me about the day.”

“I went to the White House to help my mom with a tour- that’s all.”

“For who?”

Alex rolls his eyes, “…A grade school class.”

“How was that going?”

“Fine...”

“Fine?”

“Yeah, until we got the notice.”

“Notice about?” Dr. Blackman asks.  

“The intruder.” Alex plainly stated.  

“What happened after that?”

“Well…I was told to go to the Oval Office with the class and wait out the threat.”

“Is that normal protocol?”

“Normally, I’d go wherever my mom goes…but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t know…this time I didn’t. Zahra told me to go to the Oval Office, and said I’d be safe.”

“Zahra?”

“My mom's Deputy Chief of Staff.”

“Why didn’t she tell you to go with your mom?” He asks, furrowing his brow.  

“I don’t know…she said I’d be fine.”

“But you weren’t.”

“Obviously.”

“Are you upset with her?”

“I don’t know…I haven’t seen her.”

“She hasn’t been here to visit you?”

“No…she left. Apparently, people presume she ran off to New Orleans to be with her family and hasn’t said anything to anyone…well besides her husband…he knows, but she swore him to secrecy.”

“Is your mom upset with her?”

“I don’t know.” Alex answered, playing with the blanket again.

“…How did it make you feel when she told you to go to the Oval Office instead of with your mom?”

“I didn’t get it…but I guess she thought it was the right move. There would have been no one with the kids.”

“Why did it have to be you?” He asked. Alex stared up at him, unmoving.

“I don’t have an answer for that.”

Dr. Blackman nodded, and wrote something down and then threw his notepad back on the bed.

“Are you angry this happened to you?”

Alex was tight lipped, and glaring at him. He didn’t feel like answering, so he turned his attention to the other side of the room.

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Alex said.

“Tell me about your dreams first, and then I’ll go. I promise.”

Alex paused, and then slowly turned back to him. “What about them?” He asked, under his breath.

“Where are you in the dreams?”

“The Office.”

“Who’s there with you?”

“It’s me…and sometimes Henry…but normally Cash, my bodyguard…but he’s usually dead.”

Dr. Blackman opens his mouth to say something, but stops at Alex’s last part of the sentence. “That’s it?” He asks.  

“No…the guy…the guy who blew up the room…he’s always there- looking at me. Telling me things.”

“Like what?”

“Things.” Alex lowered his head.

“What kind of things? Tell me some of them.”

“…I just hear the things he actually said to me that day. He was angry at me for something…I don’t…I don’t remember…The only thing I remember the most is…” Alex takes a deep breath, “Him telling me the world would be a better place-” Alex rolls his eyes up to the ceiling and licks his lips. “Without me in it.” His voice cracks, and he didn’t expect to start crying. He’s never told a single person this yet…he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it.  

“Do you believe that?” He asks. Alex shakes his head.

“So why does it upset you?”

“I just want to stop thinking about it…every time I go to sleep, he’s there telling me I’m a waste of space.”

“You don’t believe it though, so why does it bother you?”

Alex pinched his brow, picking at the blanket more aggressively, “…I don’t know.” His voice is tight, and he just wants to yell at him- it’s not his fault.

“Let’s explore that tomorrow when I come back at noon.” Dr. Blackman nodded.

“I don’t want to do this again.” Alex shook his head, avoiding his eyes.

“We have to Alex, unfortunately it’s part of recovery.”

“I don’t want to see you then. Send someone else.” Alex groaned, closing his eyes.  

“Okay.” Dr. Blackman nodded, leaving the room. Alex scrubbed a hand over his face, wiping the tears away hurriedly. The rest of the day was quiet for him. No visitors, just nurses.

The next morning, Ellen was the first one there. She hadn’t gone with anyone, wanting to have some alone time with Alex. When she entered his room, she found he was having a little physical therapy session. The therapist was in, working to move Alex’s legs around, doing stretches and some work with them. She was gentle with his broken hip, and didn’t over work that leg, but they did some work with it. By the end, Alex was exhausted and in pain, and she left to let Ellen finally talk with him.

“How’d that feel?” Ellen asked, coming over and kissing his head.

“Horrible. My back is on fire. I don’t get it- I can feel the pain in my back, but I can’t feel my legs.”

“It will all come back, Sugar. Give it time.” She said.

“Easy for you to say- you don’t have to do the work.” He winced, rubbing the top of his right thigh.

Ellen looked at her son, and wanted to say something encouraging again, but that’s not what he needed right now. Instead, she reached into her pocket and pulled out his cell phone. She handed it over to him and he looked from it to her.

“Seriously?” He asked, reaching for it. She pulled it back, and frowned.

“Under one condition…You can have this back, but you need to talk with the therapist- none of that shit like yesterday.”

Alex furrowed his brow, “How did you-”

“I’m your mother…I’m entitled to know about your progress.”

“He’s an ass-”

“Alex- stop that. He’s trying to help you…just like the rest of us are doing.”

“You-” Alex blinks. “You think you’re all helping me? Helping me, what?”

Ellen looked at her son, perplexed.

“You’re not helping me at all! You all come in here, pretending like nothing happened to me- acting like everything is okay and I’ll be fine! But then you sit and cry over me! ...I can’t feel my fucking legs, mom! I’m broken all over my damn body, but no- let’s hide the news and take away the TV, and Alex’s phone from him. Cut him off from society like he never existed even though the whole world is talking about me! That’s really helpful- seriously. I’m tired of you all sitting here crying over me- I’m not fucking dead, but I know you wish I was so this could all end!” Alex shouted, trying desperately to hold back his tears.

Ellen gasped, “Don’t you ever fucking say that to me! I would never wish a thing like that- where on earth is this coming from?” Ellen snapped; eyes wider than the moon.

There was a pause, and Alex could no longer fight back his tears.

“Alexander Gabriel-”

“Me, okay? ME- because I fucking wish I was dead…I don’t want to deal with this anymore.” Alex hollered.  

“No sugar, don’t be like that.” Ellen sobbed, gently pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his good arm around her waist and held tightly. She crawled into his bed, holding him tight. She cradled his wet face, and closed her eyes tight.  

“So many people died because of me…I don’t deserve to be here.” Alex sobbed into her chest.

“Alexander…don’t you dare-”

“It’s not fair!” Alex continued to carry on, crying incessantly for nearly two hours in his mother’s embrace. Flashes of Cash going down for him- the bomb going off- the Secret Service team losing their lives right before him. His family sobbing at his bed side. The notes from all the kids, the televised funerals for all the Secret Service and their families- crying, and their statements of how this isn’t fair.

It didn’t get better. It felt like it never would, and Ellen took his phone again. There were tweets about how Alex surviving is a miracle- how no one saw it coming because of how terrible it all was and it broke him. His head hurt- his legs were frozen, his body trying to heal and his mind felt just as torn apart as the rest of him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

October 31^st, 2023

“Congratulations!” The day nurse came in, with a congrats balloon and a joint card from everyone who had been there since Alex’s first day in the Trauma ICU.

“For?” Alex asked, watching the parade of nurses file in after her. Dr. Abrams and Dr. Fields were right behind them.

“We’re finally moving you out of the ICU. You are doing so well with everything, and now we can finally graduate you to a regular room to continue your recovery process.” Dr. Abrams explained.

“Oh, wow…okay.” Alex said, a little flutter rising in his chest. “Does my family know?”

“Yes, we let them know. They will be here in a bit. We’re moving you by the end of the night. It’s still a private room, but this is great news, Alex. You’re one step closer to getting out of here.” Dr. Abrams smiled. Alex nodded toward him, and about an hour later Henry arrived.

“Hi.” Alex smiled at him.

“Hi.” Henry nodded, diverting his eyes as he walked across the room. Alex and Henry’s interactions have been slightly cool from a week ago when they had their little tiff, and since there are usually people here alongside Henry, he never gets the chance to speak with him alone. It didn’t help any that Ellen told them Alex was having some depressive episodes, so they really started to watch what they were saying to him and how they acted around him. Henry was having quite a hard time with it especially, as he felt like he’d been the main culprit. He understands space, and when someone needs it…what he struggles with more is knowing when to re-enter the equation and where he stands at that point. Does he continue to be there all the time, or does he come when Alex asks? So far, he’s been calling before he comes, and getting the green light to visit.

“How is it outside?” Alex asked.

“Chilly.” Henry nodded, taking a seat across the room.

“Like this conversation?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“What do you need me to do?” Henry questioned, and Alex could see it now- the exhaustion, the desperation, and most importantly the grief-stricken expression on his face. He hated this as much as Alex does…but he can’t help the feelings brewing in his chest.

“I want you to tell me what’s wrong…I get I was an asshole a week ago…but you can’t possibly be mad at me for that?” Alex glared at him.

“No…I’m not mad about that…I’ve been thinking about how I was going to bring this up to you.” Henry started, and Alex felt it- his breath catching in his throat, and the sinking feeling in his body. Was he about to be broken up with? He’s been in a coma for two and a half weeks, stuck in a hospital bed- how could he fuck up his relationship from this point? Is he forgetting something that happened before this?

“What is it, Henry?” Alex asked, feeling the anxious weight pressing further into his chest.

“While you were sleeping…and we didn’t know whether or not you were going to recover from this…I was told that I’d have to be the one to pull the plug if it came down to it…and not only was I hearing that for the first time, but I just couldn’t help but think about how selfishly you put me in that position.”

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but Henry shut him down with the raise of a finger.

“Not done.” He shook his head, voice breaking. “So…when exactly were you going to tell me you did this? Because I’m curious as to how many other secrets you’ve been keeping from me. I really would love to know because to be blind sided like this again? I’m not looking forward to it.”

“Henry it wasn’t a secret. I was going to-”

“Tell me? When? Apparently, you’d done this months ago.” Henry stood from his chair, and glided over to Alex’s side. “Why wouldn’t you tell me something like this, Alex? Do you know what that did to me? Did you really think you were doing something good here?” Henry spoke down at him.

“Henry I-” Alex choked on the words.

“Hmm? Or did you think I wouldn’t have any problem taking you off life support? Huh? Do you really think it’d be a relief or something for me? To not have you here? Wake up, Alex- I’m fucking lost without you!” It came out faster than he had intended it and slightly harsher. Henry couldn’t look away from him, he held his ground and the frustrated gaze he had fixed on him was intense.

“I love you…It wasn’t intended to upset you.” Alex swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Henry…I really am. I should have told you...”

“Yeah, you should have. I had zero time to prepare for this…I never wanted to prepare for this sort of thing…call it ignorance, or what have you- but I don’t sit around preparing myself for a life without you in it. I don’t want to think about it- ever. It hurts far too much.” His voice drifting off as he spoke, blinking tears away.

Alex didn’t answer, he didn’t feel it was his turn to speak yet. Instead, he kept his eyes locked with Henry’s until it was apparent Henry has said all he needed to. Henry softened and leaned across the bed, planting his lips against Alex’s. Alex closed his eyes, falling deeper into the kiss and wishing he wasn’t so broken so they could make this a hot session of make-up sex. Wishful thinking. It’s so far off, he’s wondering if he’ll even remember how to satisfy his fiancé at this point. Or at this point, how he’ll even manage that in the first place.  

When Henry pulled away, he hovered over Alex’s lips and sighed. His eyes closed, and his brow knitted, “Don’t hide things from me, please? I beg you.” He could hear the hurt in his voice, and it squeezed at Alex’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” Alex whispered, and his breath bounced off Henry’s lips. He leaned in again, pecked his lips and pulled back all the way to look him in the eye.

“You are and forever will be the one thing on this earth that keeps me entirely grounded. None of this was your fault, and I need you to understand that.” Henry said, and Alex nodded.

“Okay.” It came out as nearly a whisper.

“Okay.” Henry nodded, and kissed his forehead. He walked back to his chair and took a seat.

“Henry.” Alex spoke up. Henry looked at him.

“Yes, love?”

“Do you still want to mar-”

“-Of course I do. Don’t ask me that again.” He pointed a stern finger at him. Alex chuckled, and looked down at his feet.

“Baby, can you put my socks on, I feel cold.” He pointed to the end of the bed. Henry nodded and got up to assist him. He took the left sock into his hand and started to apply it to his foot.

“Can you still not feel them?” Henry asked. Alex shook his head.

“The physical therapist comes in everyday and works on them, but I still can’t feel them enough to move them.”

“Like, at all?” Henry asked, putting the right sock on.

“Nope…nothing. I feel the pressure of you touching them, but it’s like I can’t get my brain to connect to move them. No feeling whatsoever.”

“Well, pressure seems like a good sign, no?” Henry questioned.

“Yeah, I guess. Just no nerve endings? I don’t know. It’s stupid. I still don’t get it.” Alex waived it off. Henry sat back down and fiddled his thumbs together in his lap. “I’m pissed I still can’t eat solid foods.” Alex furrowed his brow, poking at the thin feeding tube fixed in the corner of his mouth.

“I know, but you’re on your way there.” Henry insisted.

“I guess.” Alex shrugged.

Physical therapy came in for the usual appointment and Alex was nothing but in pain by the end of it. During therapy he was moved into a position that caused a burning, stinging pain to ripple up through his back, that then escalated to severe muscle spasms in his legs. He’d had it before, where his legs tightened and would shake uncontrollably. With some massage techniques, he was able to relax, but it was certainly painful to the say the least. Henry hadn’t witness it before, and to Alex’s surprise he took it pretty well. He even asked if he could assist, wondering if this would be something he’d have to do later down the line for him. They even took him out of his sling finally, and began some work on his shoulder. There was a lot of scar tissue they will have to start breaking up, and Alex isn’t looking forward to it.

Throughout the appointment, Alex’s left side was on fire. From his hip across his abdomen, it ached something fierce and felt like the muscles were being pulled uncomfortably taunt. He mentioned it, and the Physical Therapist did her best to move his leg more, but it hurt far too much, so they gave it a rest. The same went for his shoulder, with any movement practically bring him to tears.

Henry laid in bed beside Alex after the session, cuddled close with a blanket and the lights turned down.

“It’s Halloween…would you like to watch any spooky movies?” Henry asked playfully.

“Is it bad I didn’t know that today was Halloween?” Alex laughed, seemingly more tired than before. Henry shrugged with a smile. Alex thought about it and told Henry to pick one. He didn’t want to have to think that hard, so Henry did. Alex laid his head on Henry’s shoulder and in no time at all- he was asleep. Finally.

Henry was surprised to hear the soft breaths coming from Alex, knowing he was most certainly knocked out. It took two minutes into the movie, not even. So, Henry sat as still and as quiet as he could, watching Hocus Pocus while Alex slept on him.

Six Hours went by, and Alex was still asleep. Henry had slowly gotten out of the bed hours ago, trying his best to move Alex onto his own pillow and managed to slip into the chair beside his bed. He fixed Alex’s left arm on a pillow to give it some height since it was no longer in the sling, and it hurt to hang lower than his body. He watched Alex snooze, and pulled out a new book.

One of the nurses came in at some point, and turned to Henry when she realized he was the only one awake.

“He’s asleep?” She asked, sounding overly surprised by her findings.

“I know, I was surprised too. But yes, did you need him awake for something?”

“Well, we’re going to be moving him tonight to a new room. He’s finally getting out of the ICU.”

“That’s wonderful news, does he know?” Henry questioned.

“We told him early this morning, but I hate to wake him now that he’s finally asleep.” She said, studying him.

“I know…it’s not very often he sleeps this long.”

“I think I’m going to have to wake him regardless. He as a therapy appointment in an hour.” She explained, going over to his bedside.

“Is it necessary? Can’t they reschedule for later?” Henry asked.

“Unfortunately, no. He has a tight schedule.” She explained. She laid a hand to Alex’s good arm and gave it a little shake. “Alex? Wake up, we’re getting ready to transport you soon.” The nurse said, watching him carefully. When he didn’t wake, she looked up at the monitor and shrugged.

“Alex, come on. Wake up. I know you’re tired, but open your eyes for me.” She said, again. She pushed at his arm a little, and then pulled out a stethoscope from her pocket. She listened to his lungs and heart quietly and watched the monitor for any changes.

“Is everything alright?” Henry asked, standing from his seat. He didn’t want to hover, but a gut wrenching feeling erupted inside him, brutally twisting his stomach into knots.

“Alex?” She called to him again. Finally, he stirred but he was sluggish and could barely keep his eyes open. The nurse let out a relieved, nervous giggle, “There you are. Had me worried for a second, you okay?”

Henry laid a hand over his chest, and inhaled deeply- thankful he was awake again. But he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Alex looked at the nurse lazily, and shook his head. He noted how pale Alex looked, and there was a slight flush to his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Alex grimaced, and squeezed his eyes shut. “Are you in pain?” she spoke clearly to him. He nodded, but his breathing was somewhat shallow. She left the room quickly and came back with a thermometer. She took his temperature and furrowed her brows.

“What do you need?” Another nurse came in behind her.

“He’s at 104.2. Page Dr. Fields.” She instructed. Henry watched as they scurried about the room, wondering what could be happened. He has a fever- a high one.  

“Alright Alex, what hurts? I know you don’t feel well, but try and tell me where?” She asked. Alex was struggling to keep his eyes open, and his body so sluggish it was barely moving. His good arm came across his body, and pointed to his hip.

“Your hip?”

“Yeah.” He managed out. The nurse walked over to his left side and lifted the sheet, and gown to get a look at his hip. She could make out the redness and swelling of it through the old bruising, and how overly warm it was to the touch. Definitely a huge red flag.

She slipped on some gloves, and went back to the spot, “Does this hurt where I’m touching?” She asked, pressing on the area. Alex hissed with an alarming gasp, and retracted from her.

“Alright, okay…I’m going to have Dr. Fields come in and take a look. There may be a little infection starting. Hang tight.” She said, pulling the sheet back down.

Henry couldn’t tell if he should be beside himself or not. The nurse was so calm, that this didn’t feel like an emergency…but was it? He has a terribly high fever, and a possible infection…that can’t be good.

Just as the nurse left, Ellen and June came into the room.

“Hey Hen.” June greeted him.

“Hey Sugar.” Ellen walked in, and up to Alex. She kissed his head and paused when her lips touched his forehead. “Alex, you alright?” She asked. Henry realized he hadn’t spoken a word yet, and June was looking at him funny.

“He…he has a fever.” Henry stuttered out.

“How high?” Ellen looked back at him, placing a hand to her son’s forehead.

“104 something.”

“104?! Are they giving him anything?” She gasped, looking back to Alex.

“I, er-” Henry managed before a nurse came back in, followed by Dr. Fields.

“Alright, let’s have a look.” He said, putting on gloves and pulling back Alex’s sheets. “What happened, huh? We said we were moving you and you decided you wanted to stay?” Dr. Fields tried to lighten the mood, and Alex gave a weak smile at his joke. Dr. Fields started poking around, and Alex was visibly uncomfortable.

Alex hissed, “It hurts.” He mumbled.

“What can I do?” A nurse asked, waiting for the next call. Dr. Fields examined the area a little longer before looking up and telling the nurse that he wants a CT done with contrast, and to have Alex started on antibiotics once he gets back.

“We’ll get that fever down, and we’ll also know more after the CT, okay?” He assured Alex, and everyone in the room.

“What do you think it is?” Ellen questioned.

“To me, it looks like a typical blood clot. It’s common after a major surgery like this, and also following a traumatic one at that. I’m worried about the fever, so I want to rule out any other complications in the meantime before I diagnose anything. We’ll know more soon.” He nodded, heading towards the door. A nurse followed and he told her to cancel his therapy appointment.

“Oh baby, you just can’t catch a break...” Ellen frowned, and brushed back his hair that was very much in need of a trim. June scored some cloth headbands from the hospital store, and put one on Alex to help get the hair off his face. It was also loose enough as to not hurt the back of his head that was still healing.

Alex blinked a few times before shutting his eyes, and resting his head back. His whole body felt like wet cement. The fever made his head hurt more than usual, and his hip was on fire. It wasn’t looking good. The chills set in that hurt his body, and apart from that he was sweating profusely.  

They took him to his CT, and that is where the doctors determined he most definitely had a DVT blood clot. It was determined it was most definitely caused by the surgery, and that Alex was at risk of this happening regardless because of where the surgery was and how limited he was for movement.

“The best course of action here would be to go in and break it up. At this point, putting Alex on blood thinners puts him at a higher risk of internal bleeding with the other injuries he’s endured.”

“Shouldn’t he be healing from those? I mean, is more surgery really necessary?” Ellen questioned.  

“It’s a quick surgery, he won’t be out for very long. We much rather go in and attack it where it is…if we wait, it could move, and Alex is at risk for more serious complications that way.”

“So…he’ll come to right after, right? No induced coma?” Henry inquired.  

“No. Not at all. It’s a quick procedure, it’s been done plenty of times. We will however need to keep him in the ICU for a little while longer.” Dr. Fields explained.

“Oh god, he’s gonna be pissed.” June covered her face.

“It’s for the best.” Henry insisted. “I say do it.” Henry agreed. Ellen looked at him, and instead of saying something she just held up a hand and shook her head.

“Alright.” She said, drawing her eyes down to the table they sat around.

“Let’s get him prepped.” Dr. Abrams nodded, and motioned for a nurse to get ready.

They returned back to his room, and Alex’s hair was now in a blue net, and they were preparing him for the OR. Henry took his hand and leaned over the bed to give him a kiss.

“I’ll be right here when you get out, love. You won’t be long.” He smiled, bringing his hand up to kiss it.

Alex swallowed thickly, “I love you.” He managed through his weak and tired voice.

“I love you too.” Henry grinned, holding back all the emotions he rather be pouring out to him.

Ellen kissed him, and as did June. They were left to hang around his room, and June left to grab some coffee. That left Ellen and Henry to talk, but an awkward silence fell over the room instead.  

“So, I saw you visited the fourth-grade class today.” Henry broke the ice between them.

Ellen acknowledged the statement with a hum and, “Yeah, I wanted to pay them a visit, and I was able to deliver the thank you cards to all the families.” She explained, flipping through a magazine with her face on the cover.

“I’m sure Alex will want to do the same one day.” Henry said, then he realized- well, Alex probably will still be recovering by time they move onto fifth grade. It was a sad thought, but true.

“Yeah.” Ellen shrugged.

“…He’ll be alright you know.” Henry spoke up.

“I know.” She nodded again, still avoiding his side eye.

“I can feel how-”

Ellen shut her magazine, and turned to face Henry, “I don’t want to make small talk right now, alright? I’m sorry, Henry…I know it’s awful of me, but I just want to sit in silence.” She opened the magazine and started flipping through it again.

“Sorry.” Henry answered meekly, turning away from her.

“I’m sorry, hon…I just…” She closed the magazine again, staring off to where Alex’s bed usually sits- now an empty space. “I’m just tired of this…and I want Alex to be better than he is…I know this is-”

“I do too.” Henry reached out his hand and placed it on top of hers.

“He doesn’t deserve this…I want so badly to tell him we finally have a lead on the case, but everyday he gets better- the more I feel it’s less important he knows. Now look at him…I just don’t get it. I just want one break for him, that’s all…one.”

There was a long pause, and Ellen hadn’t picked up her magazine again.

“Did Alex ever…did he ever say to you in the past that he was suicidal?”

“What?! Heavens no…why?” Henry gasped, gawking at Ellen with wide eyes.

“Well, during his little mental breakdown episode, that’s all he kept saying. For hours straight, he didn’t want to be here anymore and that he rather die…I didn’t know if he had said anything to you before.” She asked, timidly.

“Never!” Henry exclaimed.

“Okay, good…I’ll be honest, I was pretty worried for a while there. It seemed to have gotten better over time, but I fear he won’t seek help for this. I know they have the therapist that comes in, but he really doesn’t like him.”

“I don’t blame him…if I was forced to talk about what happened to me, I’d be pissed too.”

“What do you mean?” Ellen asked.

“Well…I don’t know if you’ve ever been through therapy before, but normally it works best when one seeks it out for themselves. Maybe Alex isn’t in the right mind to seek help yet…being forced to bring up traumatic experiences is bound to make a person irritable and respectably aggressive toward someone. It’s human nature to deflect our emotions in order to find that safe space.”

“I didn’t think about it like that.” Ellen said, tilting her head to the side in thought.

“Yes, well…I should know. I’ve been in therapy most of my life. It’s best to let him want it- rather than force it.”

“What if he never wants it?” Ellen asked. “What if he gets so depressed, he never seeks help and-”

Henry placed a hand to his chest, “We’d never let that happen. I’d never let that happen.” He assured her.

Ellen appreciated his words. They fell back into the silent loop when June returned with coffee, tea and snacks. About an hour and half later Alex was wheeled back into his room, and Dr. Fields gave him the green light.

“Everything went well. He’s gonna be groggy for the rest of the night, so probably best to maybe let him get some sleep. They are going to monitor his fever, and watch for any further signs of infection.”

“Sound great to me, thank you so much doctors.” Ellen said to them just before they left the room. They said their goodbyes to a sleeping Alex, and Henry assisted in walking them out with a few Secret Service agents and a PPO.

“Are you coming back to the house?” June asked.  

“No, I’m going to stay.” He said. They left him, and Henry stood outside of the hospital, a PPO in the background and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He stared up at the starry, autumn sky and drew in a deep breath. A puff of air could be seen as he exhaled. The right amount of chill in the air set the mood, and the spooky ambiance of the Halloween moon lit up the sky. He could smell bonfires somewhere in the distance, and right about now they’d be on their stoop- a much happier place- and Alex and him would have been giving away the last little bit of candy left in their bowl to a couple of teenagers still embracing the night for what was left of it. He just hopes Alex isn’t here through Christmas, that’s one holiday he truly doesn’t want to spend in a hospital…but the grim truth is, they most likely will.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Alex feels like shit the first day, but better the next. The blood clot was getting better since the surgery, but he did have to battle a mild infection at the same time. The fever lasted a few days, but with steady antibiotics, he was progressing well. The situation set him back a little in recovery, but if anything, this was a push to get him moving around more. They focused on his arms, and getting his shoulder back in working order, knowing it would help him when he starts to try and walk again. The days of breaking up scar tissue were brutal- ending in choice words, tears and pain medication. Henry was there for all of it. June sat through a session, thinking she could handle it, but watching her brother go through it was torture. She never came back for his physical therapy appointments, but did continue to visit.

There were many times in June’s life she had to be the care taker of Alex. When Ellen was busy and working, unable to tend to a very sick Alex- only June knew how to take care of him. Soup, Vicks on his chest, mindless television and snuggles. She’d inevitably get sick after him, but it was okay- he’d help her the same way she had helped him. An endless cycle throughout their lives that carried well into adulthood- well into living in the White House.

Ellen also took the hint from Henry, and asked they put off therapy until he was ready. After that, Alex started to show slight improvement in his mental health. They would still need to clear him before he can leave the hospital, but he has time to process now without someone trying to pull it out of him. She did let him have his phone back, and even full TV privileges, so that was a plus.  

His new room is quiet, and brighter with a big window. Not as quiet and dark as the ICU, but everyone including Alex liked the change. It helped his mood considerably. He likes his new nurses, but gets along really well with the one night nurse, Octavia...It could be because they can bond over their relations to the south, but really, she has a way of making him laugh even on his bad days, and he appreciates it. She’s always on top of his pain management and knows just what he needs without even having to ask for it. Truly an angel sent from heaven…which is what he told her one night while trying to fight his sleeping pill. Henry has plenty of videos to show him when the time is right.

Alex had just gotten done with a sponge bath, and was settling in to watch TV. He surfed the channels, mindlessly clicking buttons while Henry sat on the hard couch against the window. He was gazing out over the city, and sighing contently.

Octavia came in moments later to set up Alex’s air pressure leg massagers. It was to help with circulation, and could possibly help him get the feeling back in his limbs. That was the plan at least. He’s been using them since the ICU.

Octavia flipped the blanket back at the end of the bed to expose Alex’s legs, “You doin’ alright, sugar?” She asked with her southern charm creeping through. It reminded him of his mom, which added to the sense of comfort. Alex nodded lazily, his head being the only thing he could move after a long session of PT that day.

“Alright, good.” She nodded with a smile, and lifted his legs to slip the mats under them. Alex jumped slightly at the sensation in his ankles when Octavia grabbed them. It was comparable to an intense burst of pins and needles.

“You alright, Alex?” She noticed the sudden jerk of his body. He placed his hands on his thighs to steady himself and bit down on his tongue. His eyes had clenched shut at the feeling, and Octavia couldn’t tell if he was in pain, or just uncomfortable. Henry cued in on the question, and turned to see Octavia looking up at Alex from where he sat. His eyes darted over to Alex where his pained expression hadn’t let up.

“Mm, yup. Just go easy with the legs. I don’t know what you just did, but I felt it.”

“You felt it?” Octavia questioned, and looked down at his feet. “What did you feel?” She asked. Alex shook his head.

“I don’t know. It honestly felt like when your legs go numb and then you try to move them and the feeling is like too intense to move, so you wait for it pass? Yeah- that just shot through my legs.” He explained, and they both partly understood him, but Octavia was ecstatic to hear such news.

“Hold tight, I’ll be right back.” She was quick to leave the room and came back with a plexor, a small rubber hammer used to check your reflexes. Octavia helped Alex into a sitting position and with the help of Henry, they got his legs over the side of the bed. She did the reflexes test by tapping the pointed hammer against his knee, which for the first time since he got hurt, his leg responded with a jerk. Octavia was overjoyed to say the least. They laid Alex down again and Octavia ran the back of her capped pen along the bottom of Alex’s bare feet. With each swipe there was a faint distinction of feeling on Alex’s part.

“I think I can feel that.” Alex said, staring up at the ceiling.

“How about this.” Octavia asked, poking the sharper end of the plexor into his foot. It was slightly numb, but there was certainly a sensation of something there. She asked him to try and move his toes, but he wasn’t there yet. It still felt oddly foreign to him. 

“This is so good, Alex. I’m gonna make a note in your chart so in the morning the doctors can see it. I’m sure they will be by, but I want them to know. Physical therapy is really helping- this is a sign. Soon, you’re gonna be up and walking. I give another week of therapy, you’ll see.” She said, pointing at him with the plexor. Alex couldn’t hide his smile. He was proud of himself for some reason. Even thought it was his body doing all the hard work of repairing himself, he really has gotten himself there mentally. Now to just keep himself there.

It certainly was good, as Octavia said. It kick started a more rigorous therapy program for Alex. He graduated from the beginning course onto the part where he’s going to learn how to walk again. Hearing those words: “You have to learn how to walk again” felt absolutely intimidating, and mind numbing. He wanted to be sad about it- but he was now in the mindset of fuck it.

One day, he even went on a rant about how he was feeling to Henry. That he was looking at this differently from now on because nothing seemed to be working out the other way. Yeah, he went through something traumatic, and yeah, he probably shouldn’t have survived it- but fuck it. He is alive. He is here. He’s doing it. It may not be easy, and every session may leave him in tears, but today he can say he’s still here- and that asshole who tried to end him isn’t. He risked everything to take down the most stubborn son of bitch the world has ever seen. He’d be dammed if he was going to sit around anymore and throw a pity party every time he thought about it. Alex has been through enough. Comas, infections, blood clots, paralysis, a head injury, a busted shoulder, a broken hip, being shot- He’s coming back, and stronger than ever. He doesn’t need any more negativity.

It’s not to say he’s not going to have bad days, but he knows he’ll get past it. He’s still having nightmares, but that’s all they are- nightmares. Henry being there to calm him afterwards is all he needs. His love has saved him quite a bit through this whole thing, and he owes it to Henry to try- try harder than ever to get back to where he was before all this. Give him his life back- give him the Alex he knows and loves. He went through a lot too…Alex sees this in all that Henry does for him- past and present. He’s sure he’ll talk to Henry more about it, but right now Henry’s hell bent on focusing on Alex getting better.

Speaking of talking, Ellen asked him if he’d ever consider seeking therapy again just to make sure he’s okay, and he promised that when he felt he was in a good place to talk about it- he would. Right now, it’s too much for him to recall those memories, and what helps him now is looking past it. Henry catches him every now and then when he gets stuck in his own head, but he’s able to reel him right back in. He even requested they tell him nothing about the case. He wants nothing to do with it- he doesn’t even want to know if Richards had anything to do with the guy after all. One day he might care, but right now- it’s not important. Everyone, including Henry were shocked to hear him say he wanted nothing to do with it. Alex of all people- not wanting to get down to the bottom of something? That convinced Ellen he wasn’t in the right state of mind, but they’d talk about that later. One day the Alex they know will be back, and in full swing. That’s her hope at least.

Alex just wants to see it as: Cash is okay, his family is okay- everyone is okay. Yes, they lost good people along the way, but after talking to Luna about it one afternoon, he’s come to realize they signed up to protect them. They knew what was at stake- what could happen to them. They knew one day they’d be faced with a threat like this. What Alex didn’t want to accept is that they basically signed away their lives to take bullets and die. Protection is one thing- dying for another…well that takes courage, and sacrifice. He still struggles with it, there is no doubt it will take a while to come back from that but he wants to work through it.

He even looked up what survivors’ guilt was, and basically self-diagnosed himself- even when Henry told him not to. June begged him to stop reading psychologytoday.com, but he didn’t. He sent himself down a rabbit hole, and kept going.

“Alright, Alex… you ready?” His new physical therapist, Westly asked. Alex was seated in a chair in the physical therapy office in the hospital. Henry was with him, standing just to the side with his hands on his own hips and awaiting further instruction.

“Henry is going to help you, and so is Hailey, but this is all you in the end. You’ve got this.” Wes said, making sure Alex’s vest was on securely. He was hooked up to a pulley system above him, which would help in assisting him as he stands. Wes is in front of him, ready to take his waist when ready.

“Okay.” Alex nodded, gulping softly and planting his hands on the arms of the chair.

Ellen walked into the room, standing off to the side watching.

“Let’s work on standing today. Eventually we’re going to get to the walking part, but we have to start conditioning your legs again.” Wes explained. Alex agreed, and was willing to take this slowly- especially because this was just as scary to him as it was to everyone else who was helping. No one wants to see him struggle, but they know it’s going to take a bit.

“If you feel like it’s too much, you tell us.” Hailey explained. She took hold of a strap on his vest at the base of his back and one at the front of him. Henry was instructed to do the same on his other side. They took to the vest instead of his arms because Westly didn’t want to anger Alex’s recovering surgery there.

Alex planted his hands on the arms of the chair, and Henry caught sight of his hands shaking. He knew Alex was terrified to do this, but as soon as he stands for the first time- it will get better.

“Alex, you’re going to push your feet against the floor and at the same time use your arms to help you up. I’m going to take your waist when you get to me, but Hailey and Henry have you, so don’t be afraid to give it your all. Know your body, feel it out.” Westly explained. Alex made him aware he understood with a nod and quick smile. It didn’t help his nerves however- that’s for sure.

“Alright, go ahead.” Wes nodded to them. In unison, but slowly, Alex tried his best to push his feet into the ground, finding it much harder with limited feeling. Hailey and Henry tugged at his vest, aiding in his leverage off the chair. Alex’s arms shook something fierce as he attempted to force his body up. The first go of it was rough. They hardly got off the chair, and the strain on his back was unreal. Months spent not moving his muscles like this- he’s bound to feel this later. No amount of in-bed physical therapy prepared him for this moment.

“Don’t get discouraged. That was a great first try. We’re going to do this for as long as it takes. I need you standing today, and then you can go back to your room.” Westly explained. Alex felt defeated right off the bat, but he was getting better. He could feel himself lifting off the chair inches more during each attempt. His mom cheering him on from the side lines like when he used to play lacrosse. Henry in his ear telling him was beautiful and he’s doing so well. Hailey convincing him he was a rockstar, and doing better than they all predicted on his first try. It was all encouraging, yet making him feel slightly small. He’s not sure where it was coming from, but it was making it hard to focus.

“One more time. You got this.” Westly coached. Alex puffed out his cheeks, exhaling a hard breath and pushed his palms down on the arms of the chair. He stared at his sneakers, having not worn shoes in so long and chuckled to himself. This felt useless. He thought it’d be easier. It’s not.

 It took a lot of effort to push against the floor, and his thighs were burning. His hip was even more so straining to accommodate the new weight distribution, and the pulling of the muscles in his back intimidated him to a momentary pause. He was afraid to move too quickly- afraid to pull something and not be able to do this again for a while. He was scared, but he’d never admit it to them.

Henry could see it though…he knew Henry could- it wasn’t a secret to him. Alex’s arms shook again, and with the pressure of his legs against the floor, he started to stand and his legs trembled. His knees almost knocking together as he attempted to straighten up. He’d risen up off the chair slightly more than last time, but once again he found his ass back in the seat again.

“You’re doing so well, Love. Next time, I feel it.” Henry said, leaning over and kissing the top of his head. Alex nodded and his breath shaky.

“Can I have a second?” Alex asked, scrubbing a quivering hand over his face. Westly tapped Hailey on the shoulder and they stepped away a moment to give him some time. Henry squatted down in front of him with a hand on his knee.

“What’s going on, darling?” He asked.

“I just need a minute.” Alex snapped. Henry knew he didn’t mean to- it wasn’t Alex talking but the frustration and the pain. He gets tired easily, and especially after things like this.

“It’s alright if you don’t stand today, Love. There is tomorrow.”

“I want to stand today, Henry. I can do it.” Alex sighed, rubbing his hands against the front of his sweat pants. “I know I can.” He said, adjusting his catheter that was against his leg inside his pants. If anything- being able to walk means getting that damn thing removed, so he can finally use the bathroom on his own. The feeding tube can come out and he can return to solid foods. What he wouldn’t give for a sandwich, or cheesesteak. Anything really. Just to chew again!   

Henry nodded, and squeezed his knee. He looked over at Wes and nodded. Henry pushed up from his squatting position and stood beside Alex, ready to lift him again.

“Ready to give it another go?” Henry asked. Alex nodded, and planted his hands on the chair. Hailey took her place, and Wes waited for Alex to push off.

“We’re going to work on strengthening your core over time as we do this, Alex. It’s going to be tough at first, but soon it will get easier.” He said while assisting Alex as he rose about six inches off the chair this time. He sat back again, and groaned.

“Again.” Alex grit his teeth. He pushed off, and clench his eyes shut- feeling his body trembling with every flex of his muscles. He was getting tired, and slightly light headed.

The world would be a better place without you in it…

Alex was sweating, still staying above the chair and having not fallen back into it yet. This was the longest he’s held himself up. His abdominals burned, and with every small jerking movement of his torso to try to stand straighter, he felt like the repairs done to him were coming apart. He knew it wasn’t happening, but it sure felt like it.

“Fuck.” Alex cursed harshly, losing his grip and slipping forward. Wes grabbed him at the waist, Henry pulled up, and Hailey did the same. The suspension holding up his body was tight, and made him ache. His back tensed and his legs gave out from under him. They eased him back in the chair and he slammed his fist down onto the arm.

“I can do this! I can stand up!” Alex shouted. Wes smiled, and Alex could tell it was a sympathy smile. Pity…he was getting a pity smile of all things. “Don’t look at me like that!” Alex shot back at Wes. Wes held his hands up, and backed away from Alex. Henry placed a hand to his shoulder, which Alex shrugged off of him.  

Ellen stepped forward, and looked down at her son, “Alex, hey…its O.K. Tomorrow will be-”

“I don’t want to wait till tomorrow- I want to stand now. He said I can’t leave till I stand!” Alex continued to shout.

Wes shook his head, stepping back toward him, “Alex, you don’t have to. You’ve done great work today. We talked about taking it slow, remember? We can take-”

“There is no we- I’m doing all the work. Me. I’ll say when I’m done.” Alex argued. “Let’s go again!” He said, slamming his hands on the chair once more. He started to push off without help, and everyone ran to him. Henry took his side, Hailey hers, and Wes was ready to assist.

Alex pushed off, feeling the weight of his body getting heavier as he rose higher above the chair. Alex inhaled sharply, and the look of pain read clear across his face. He powered through it, and kept going.

There is a chance you may never walk again…

His attempt failed at trying to keep his hands from shaking. He decided to let go of the chair and grabbed onto Westly’s arms in a quick motion. Wes held him back, and watched as Alex forced himself to straighten out his back. His body rocked forward in jerking motions while trying to gain the strength to stay up. Ellen watched with bated breath as her son was nearly tearing himself apart to prove a point. Her stubborn ass of a kid- always wanting the final word, the point proven. He’d do anything to prove them wrong before admitting defeat. Well defeat comes in many different ways and in this case- it comes in the form of a chair.

Alex yelped sadly as he finally managed his body into a standing position. His feet on the floor, his hands gripping Westley’s arm, Hailey and Henry holding him by the vest loops- he did it. He was standing. It didn’t last long, but- he did it. His legs gave out only seconds after, his body weak and quaking. He pushed himself too hard- he knows this. He pushed a little too hard, and now he’s spent. Possibly a lesson learned, but neither Ellen nor Henry was going to mention it. They helped him back into the chair, and Henry grabbed Alex’s head in his hands, kissing it with tears on his cheeks.

“You did it, love! You did it!” Henry pressed his face into Alex’s curls. Alex nodded, panting hard and crying. Westly was proud, but gave him the old: “Don’t force yourself like that again. There is a reason we need to take breaks. It’s a slow process.”

To which Alex responded with: “I don’t have time for slow. I have a life to get back to.”

Westly couldn’t argue with that. No one could.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

“President Elect, Adriano Garcia joins President Claremont this morning during her address regarding the release of FSOTUS’ from the hospital today. President Claremont states that after an unexpected attack on her son’s life this year, Alexander Claremont-Diaz is expected to make a full recovery-”

“I hate when they say that… I know it wasn’t my mom, someone wrote that for her.” Alex clicked off the television.

“When they say what, love?” Henry asked, looking up from his phone.

“Full recovery…It’s not a full recovery! I’m not coming out of here doing cartwheels and back hand springs. I still have physical therapy to attend in order to get back to walking by myself.”

“Alex, you have made a pretty remarkable recovery, my love. You had so many terrible things happen to you, and you over came them. Now you’re starting to walk again and it’s wonderful. Stop listening to the news. It does you no good.” Henry shook his head. He stood from his seat across the way, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“How can I not? It’s everywhere!” Alex exclaimed.

“Alex, ignore them. Please. It’s for your own mental health. You’re doing great, and you shouldn’t down play it.” Henry explained. Alex sighed and shrugged his right shoulder. He still was hesitant to perform uncontrolled movements with his left in fear of hurting it.

“I need to pee.” Alex said, and slowly got his legs over the side of the bed. Henry moved quickly to grab his walker and angled it toward Alex. He thanked his fiancé, and grabbed the bars of it and pulled it closer to himself. He hesitated as he normally does, and when he felt he was strong enough he pressed his hospital-socked feet against the floor and started to shift his weight forward. His arms shook as they have been doing, and he pushed off to a standing position.

“Does it seem like it’s getting easier?” Henry asked, holding the walker firmly so it didn’t move out from under his fiancé.

“I don’t know. I mean…it didn’t take as long for me to stand today.” Alex said, and looked down at his feet. It was hard for him to feel them sometimes, but he knows they are there. He certainly can’t stand for very long periods of time, but he manages with the help of people. Alex shimmied slowly forward, and Henry moved around the back of him for support. He held his waist, and Alex shuffled his feet in front of him.  

“You have one more physical therapy session at the hopsital today, and then we can get you home.” Henry said, “That’s something to look forward to, yeah?”

“I guess.” Alex said, focusing on staying standing.

“Almost there, love.” Henry said. Alex leaned forward and reached for the door handle. Henry stopped him and opened the door for him. He put the door stop down, and allowed Alex to walker into the bathroom.

“You need my assistance?”

“No, just stay by the door.” Alex said, as Henry helped to back Alex up to the toilet.

“Alright, I’ll be right out here.”

“Thanks.” Alex gave him a small smile. Henry cracked the door, and stood there looking around the room.

“Henry...”

“Yeah?”

“Can you turn the water on?”

“Sure.” Henry smiled, and slipped into the room to flip the tap on. Alex had a hard time concentrating. So much so they questioned taking out the catheter, but Alex wanted that thing gone.

Henry stepped back out to give him privacy, and crossed his arms. There was a knock at the door, and a nurse popped her head in.

“Hi, is Alex alright? Does he need anything?” She asked.

“No, he’s alright. Just using the loo.” Henry said dropping his arms and throwing a thumb back at the bathroom.

“Okay.” She smiled, and looked over her shoulder before stepping all the way in. She motioned him over and Henry made a quick glance through the crack at Alex. He was seated with his eyes closed and a furrowed brow. Henry moved toward the nurse and raised an eyebrow.

“Is everything alright?”

She hesitated with a lick of her lips, and she whispers, “Alex has a visitor…”

“That’s fine…who is it?” Henry crosses his arms again.

“Um, it’s a woman. She said her name is Zahra.”

Henry’s mouth fell open slowly at the name. He hadn’t heard her name is a little while, and that’s saying something because he speaks with Shaan on the daily. Not once has he mentioned her since she disappeared, let alone the fact she was coming back.

“Z…Zahra? She’s here?”

“Yeah…she said Alex might have mixed feelings about speaking with her, so she wanted to check first.”

“Of course…no, that was very good of her to do. Um…let me speak with him, and I’ll come out to find you.”

“Sounds good, I’ll let her know to hang tight.”

“Thank you.” Henry nods to her. She leaves, and he hears the toilet flush. Henry swallows and steps toward the door. Alex has just stood and pulled his sweatpants back up. He takes to the sink, and washes his hands. Thankfully Henry’s there cause he almost loses his balance. Henry walks him back to the bed in silence, and Alex is picking up on his change in behavior.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, watching Henry’s expression as he helps Alex into bed. His eyes are fixed, and he’s not blinking very much, his brow is knitted and the corner of his mouth is slightly pinched.  

“The nurse just came in…she said you have a visitor.” He started.

“Oh? Who?” Alex cocks his head. Henry brings his eyes up to Alex in a series of pauses. Alex stiffens. “She’s here?” He asks.

Henry nods, and stands straight. “If you don’t want to talk to her, I can have them send her aw-”

“NO.” Alex says quickly. He relaxes, and redirects his eyes. “I mean…no, I don’t want you to send her away…I’ll see her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…I’m sure. I need to talk to her.”

“Alright then…I’ll tell the nurse to send her in…I’ll give you some privacy.” Henry said, and starts toward the door.

“Henry wait!” Alex calls to him. Henry turns quickly and looks startled. “I, uh…I don’t want to talk to her in bed. Can you help me into the chair?” Alex says and points to the large recliner beside his bed. Henry obliges him and fixes him in the chair before he goes. He gives Alex a blanket and makes it his choice to put it over his legs or not. Alex doesn’t know what to do in the moment, but just sits and stares at the floor. Henry has left to tell the nurse, and see’s Zahra standing at the nurse’s station awkwardly with her hands crossed over her chest. She looks like she could be sick any second, but she looks like her normal self- which for some reason surprises Henry.

Henry stands tall and regal, like he needs to show he’s in control here, “He’s ready to see you.” He says with a nod. Zahra swallows and looked him over.

“…How is he?” She asks.

“Fine.” He says, dryly. He’s not mad at Zahra, but he certainly doesn’t want Alex to get upset. Not on his last day in the hospital- not today.

Zahra nods, and looks down at her shoes. “Which room then?”

“26.” Henry says, and points to the room down the hall where a secret service agent is standing. “He’s waiting for you. I’m going to grab some tea and I’ll be back.”

Zahra makes her way down the hall after leaving Henry and pauses at the door. The Secret Service agent nods to her, and allows her access to the room. She’s still hesitant, not knowing what she’ll see beyond the doors. The last time she was here, Alex was laid up in bed and in a coma. He was slightly less broken than the moments after the event, but still not the usual Alex she was used to seeing. It’s safe to say she was broken too…in different ways.

Zahra not only abandoned him, but her best friend, and husband. Her job was on the line the second she stepped foot outside of the hospital. She didn’t care really- she needed to be somewhere that wasn’t close to here. New Orleans was her first stop, where she stayed with family until she felt like herself again…even then it was hard to determine what that felt like anymore. She turned off her phone, and didn’t talk to Shaan until a week after. He understood, and wasn’t upset with her- just more worried about her and her mental health. Ellen on the other hand- that was a rocky situation. How does one hide from the President of the United States? Answer- you don’t. Ellen found out where she was from Shaan, the second he knew.

She had someone check up on her, and report back every now and then. Ellen never forced Zahra to talk, nor did she try to reach out after she left. She knows Ellen is pissed with her, but that’s a whole other can of worms she’s not ready to face.

“Madam Deputy Chief?” The agent spoke up. Zahra snapped back to reality and looked at the agent. She cleared her throat and powered through. She pushed the door open by it’s handle and entered the room with caution. It was quiet, and the curtains were pulled open across the way letting beautiful sunlight fill the room. She noticed a walker parked up against the bed, and no Alex. When she stepped further in, she finally caught sight of him to her left. He was seated in a large chair, with a blanket over his legs, and he was staring at her with a very unsure expression.

His hair was shorter, but his curls were still wild and messy. He looks like the Alex she’s remembers, just slightly thinner, and a little paler if that was at all possible.

“…Hi.” He spoke up finally, and it was soft and as unsure as his expression. A knot formed in her throat at the sound of his voice.

“Hi.” She says back, and it barely comes out.

“I…I didn’t know you were back in D.C.”

“No one really knows…I just got here…this is my first stop.” She says and Alex blinks.

“Why?” He asks.  

“Because I’ve been watching the news, and I heard you were leaving today. Is that true?”

“Yeah, it’s true.” Alex answers. She nods, and drops her eyes to the floor. She looks around the room a minute, and tries to will away the feeling of having to cry.

“Z…where did you go?”

Zahra looks at him again, and really looks at him. He looks tired, and weak. More than anything, he looks sad, like he just watched a movie where the main character’s animal dies.

She tells the truth because he deserves that, “I went home…to New Orleans.”

“Why?”

“Because…” She starts, and she means to continue but she doesn’t.

“Because wh-”

“If you saw what I saw, you’d know why. I’m going to spare you the gritty details and just tell you I was a wreck since the day all this happened.”

He huffs a laugh, “Join the club.” Alex says, and looks to his bed.

“You don’t get to do that.” She says, and Alex looks at her. “You don’t know how hard it was to see you like…how you were.” She straightens herself, hoping that makes her stronger.

“I’ve been told by plenty of people how I looked…but those people stayed.” Alex said, surprising himself with what he just said.  

Zahra narrowed her eyes at him, “I couldn’t, Alex…I couldn’t handle what happened to you. I may come off as this bad bitch you all like to say I am, but I’m human too, and I have real feelings. I blamed myself for what happened to you…there was no one else to blame. Things with your mom got tense, and seeing you in a coma…it just…it was too fucking hard.” There was silence between them, and Zahra couldn’t help but start crying.

“And now look at you…you’re awake, and you’re doing better…and if I had stayed- maybe I wouldn’t be so sick to my stomach about all this, but I can’t go back in time. I’m frustrated with myself for leaving, but I couldn’t turn back…I couldn’t watch you get worse, to get better.”

“Z-” Alex sighs.

“No, Alex. It completely ruined me…I know this sounds overly dramatic compared to what happen to you and your experience, but I was there too. I made a stupid decision and I had to live with the consequences. If we had all evacuated like we were supposed to…if I had gotten you to safety then-”

“Then all those kids could have died- Z!” Alex shouts. “You saved so many lives that day without realizing it. Did I think he would spare them? No, but he did because I begged. If I wasn’t there to beg…god knows what could have happened.”

“Ale-”

“I was pissed at you for a while, Z.” Alex starts.

“I’m sorry…I was just doing what I thought was the right move. I didn’t think-”

“What? Leaving the state?” Alex furrowed his brow.

“No, with the evac-”

“I’m not pissed about that! I’m pissed you left everyone! You left mom, and your husband! I get I was in a coma, but those people needed you too.”

“Your mother barely spoke to me-”

“Because she thought I was going to die, Z! She was upset- she needed support even though she wasn’t asking for it. You know how she gets!”

“I know that- and I tried, but she pushed me away.”

“Since when do you ever let her push you away? You always push back! It’s your fucking job, Z-”

“Don’t tell me what my fucking job is, Alexander. I know what my fucking job is and it put you in here. I wasn’t about to come between a mother and her god damn son, and I don’t care how many times you tell me to get over it- I’m never going to forgive myself for what happened. You had a future too- you mattered too, and it was almost for nothing. I’ve watched you grow up inside and outside the walls of that White House. I was there for those nights you had breakdowns because of school stress, and difficulty with the public. You’ve come so damn far, and in a second- it was almost gone. Everything. Everything that mattered to me was almost gone…you may think I’m this cold-hearted bitch who couldn’t give a shit about you or June, but it’s the other way around. There is far too much emotion backing my love for the two of you, that the only way I’ve been able to do my job, is by staying as stern and distanced from you as much as humanly possible. I was never supposed to be your friend. I was never supposed to feel like a second mother to you. I was there to help your mom, and through that I gained more than just a job. I gained a second family I never asked for, but have been grateful for since day-fucking-one. So don’t sit there and tell me I shouldn’t feel like this. You aren’t just my job…I almost lost you- and I would have had to live with that forever because you and I wouldn’t be here having this conversation.” Her voice trailed off as the tears rolled down her face.

Alex couldn’t speak, rather he just sat and watched Zahra cry. He took a deep breath, and there was an ache in his chest that happens sometimes. He placed his hand there, and looked up at her.

“I’m alive, Zahra…The way you feel is validated, I get that...but I survived. I was in a pretty dark place for a while, and eventually I had to convince myself the worse was over. What happened- happened. Do I think I’m completely healed? Absolutely not…but I’m here, Zahra- I’m okay.”

“Not without suffering first.” She wiped at her eyes.

“A lot of people suffered. Not just me. I’m one of the lucky ones for some reason…that I’m struggling with a lot too. It’s not easy…I’ve been taking it day by day.”

“I wish I could have been better at judging-”

“There was nothing you could have done, Z. Nothing. You did what you thought was right. I’m not mad at you for that…fuck, I’m not mad in general. I just needed to know you were okay. I knew absolutely nothing. I woke up and you were gone. No one could tell me where, and I thought for sure I’d never see you again.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing to me. I don’t need it.” Alex shook his head, scrubbing his hands over his face as tears continued to flow. “The one you need to talk to, and apologize to is mom.”

Zahra opens her mouth to protest, but Alex shuts her down with, “Not because of me…but because you left. She needed you more than I did, Z. You left her.”

“I know.”

“So go talk to mom…fix that and I’ll feel better.”

“Alex, I just need to hear-”

Alex rolled his eyes, “I forgive you, Zahra. Okay? Is that what you wanna hear?”

She didn’t reply, just nodded her head enough for him to see it.

“I love you, and this wasn’t your fault. None of it was.” Alex added.

Zahra made quick work of going over and hugging him. She was gentle as not to hurt him, and wrapped her arms around his head, holding him close to her. She kissed the top of his head, and he threw his arms around her waist as best he could.

“I know you too well, and you’re still thinking it’s your fault too…I’ll move on if you promise to as well.” She whispered down to him. It took him by surprise at how well she does know him, which made it all the more difficult to let her go. He can’t promise how he’ll feel, so he doesn’t say anything, instead he holds on a little tighter, and she huffs a shaky breath before kissing his head again.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Alex muffled against her blouse.

“It took a lot for me to come here.” She admits.  

Alex nods, “I know…and I appreciate it.”

“You better.” She said gently- as not to ruin the mood, but also to assure Alex she’s still Zahra Bankston. Alex chuckled at her, pulling away.

“Now you sound more like yourself.” He said up to her.

“Yeah, I guess.” She made a quick pass at wiping more tears from her eyes and stood back. “What’s that say now?” She asked, getting closer to Alex and pulling at the red band on his wrist.

Alex looks at his wrist, “Oh, I’m a fall risk. Now that I can get up-” He said, tugging at the bracelet.

“You’re walking?” Her eyes grew wide.

“Not very well, but yeah. I still have a long road ahead, but I’m getting there. Which speaking off, I have my last appointment as inpatient today in about five minutes.” He said, and tossed the blanket off his lap. He pointed to his walker, and it finally clicked why that was in the room. She grabbed it and put it in front of him. Alex took to the bars and hoisted himself up. Zahra was hesitant to watch him, as he didn’t look completely stable, but there he was- upright and doing more than she expected.

“Alex…that’s incredible…You’ve come a long way.”

“Yeah…that’s what they tell me.” He smiles, and sits back down when it’s too much to stand on his own.

“You really have…For what it’s worth, just know that I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Z.” Alex’s expression falls, and he’s honestly so grateful to hear those words.

“It was a compliment, kid.” Zahra crosses her arms with a smirk.

“I know…I just…” Alex waived it off, and stood again with a lot of effort this time.

The door to the room opened and a nurse came in.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt. Alex has an appointment.”

“I was just leaving.” Zahra nodded, and looked back to Alex. “I’m going to go see her…I’m sure she’ll tell you how it goes.”

“Good.” Alex nods. “I look forward to hearing about it tonight.” He says.

“Are you coming back to the White House?”

“For the next couple of days, then I’m headed back to New York with Henry.”

“Okay. I’ll be in touch.” She says and in true Zahra fashion, she holds her head high and exits the room flawlessly.

The nurse brings in a wheelchair and wheels Alex down to his appointment. Henry had been there waiting for him, and the appointment was carried through with ease. They had him on a very slow treadmill, some weights and leg exercises. By time they got out, his room was getting put back together and June was there zipping up his bags. Oscar was there to help as well, since Ellen was tied up at the White House and was most likely going to be even more unavailable if Zahra follows through with her promise.

The nursing staff, and his doctors gave a very heartfelt and loud send off as he was wheeled out of his room. They stood around clapping, and cheering for him. It was beautiful, and moving, yet Alex was more anxious than anything to be leaving.

He had one request however, and it was that he wanted to walk out the door instead of being rolled. They had his walker ready for him and Henry and Oscar helped him up. He took a deep breath, and steadied himself before shuffling forward and past the threshold of the hospital doors. It was a powerful feeling being able to walk himself out of the hospital where he was told he may never walk again. A very typical Alex Claremont-Diaz, ‘fuck you’, if anything. There was press snapping photos of Alex being helped into the black SUV’s and soon they were off to the White House.

As they pulled up to the White House, Alex couldn’t get himself to look toward all the press held back by the gates. They were shouting things toward him, which he couldn’t make out, but ignoring them nonetheless. It was the easiest thing he could do to keep from getting overwhelmed…well, any more than he already was.

Henry had his bag flung over his shoulder, and he followed beside Alex’s wheelchair all the way up to his room. The White House staff lined the halls, waiting to welcome him home with smiles and heartwarming greetings. He felt like they were cheering on a hero, and it rubbed him the wrong way. Henry kept his hand clasped around Alex’s the whole way up, and finally they were at Alex’s bedroom where it was quiet. The place Henry had been calling home for months now. When they got inside, Alex looked around and took notice to all the little things that shouted, ‘Henry was here’. From the mugs of tea scattered about his room, with the bag still in them, to the books cluttering the nightstand in neat piles. The pillow in the center of the bed was kind of sad, knowing Henry sleeps in the middle when Alex isn’t there- and his oversize cardigan draped over his desk chair was the final piece.

“Looks lived in and cozy.” Alex chuckles, but trails off quickly.

“Well, it’s been home for a while.” Henry shrugs and sets the bag on the couch in the room.

“It’s all good.” Alex nods. It’s a reminder of how long Henry’s been having to deal with this. He can only imagine the countless nights Henry spent lying wide awake in bed wondering if he’d ever wake up again. How many tears he cried into the pillows before he fell asleep without a choice because of pure exhaustion… Alex has to stop thinking about it and pushes himself up from the chair. Henry acts quickly and rushes toward him to offer his hand.

“I’m alright, Hen. Really.” Alex said, rejecting the help. Henry nodded and pulled away, giving him the space he wanted. Alex made short, slow shuffling steps without the walker and made his way toward the bathroom.

Henry raising a finger, “Do you want me to-”

“I can do it.” He said quickly and honestly, he was amazed he made it without falling. He got inside the bathroom, closed the lid to the toilet and took a seat. It was quiet, and small. It felt safe and somehow far away from all the people who were only just beyond the door. He’s realizing quickly that being back at the White House is causing him more anxiety than he thought. He’s not sure if it’s the place itself, or the amount of people- but it’s something and it’s utterly terrifying.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Final

Henry helped Alex into bed once he emerged from the bathroom, and made sure to fluff the pillows enough to give him stability.

“It’s perfect, Henry. Thank you.” Alex said, stopping his fiancé from fussing. Henry pulled back with a nod, diverting his eyes from Alex as he stepped away from the bed.

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” Alex replied, and rested into the pillows with a sigh. Henry didn’t know what to do. If anything, he felt like they were still at the hospital, needing to stand by his bedside to help with every move.

“You can sit down, ya know?” Alex offered. “Come lay with me actually.” Alex patted the empty side of the bed. Henry nodded and migrated over to his side of the bed. He climbed in, and immediately felt an overwhelming sense of normalcy rush over him. He hasn’t laid beside Alex, comfortably, in bed for a while and it’s safe to say he’s missed it.

“I’ve missed this...with you…us.” Henry said, low and honest.

“Yeah…I have too. That little bed wasn’t cutting it.” Alex laughed, and it trailed off with his hand to his pelvis.

Henry propped himself up on his elbow, “Still hurt?” He asked, eyeing how he was holding himself together, almost in fear of splitting open.

“It does…a little.” Alex nodded. “But it gets better every day…it just feels weird sometimes.”

“Understood.” Henry nodded. There was an odd tension in the room, and Henry couldn’t tell if he was causing it or if Alex was…or a mix of both.

“Is everything alright, love?” Henry asked, and he has this sad look in his eyes. Alex knows his fiancé is worried, but he can’t help what Henry is feeling because he’s feeling things too. Alex paused before saying anything. He makes a typical Alex list of sorts, debating if he should tell Henry the truth.

1. If he tells Henry he’s anxious, he might call for someone or offer the medication they gave him at the hospital- he doesn’t want that.
2. If he doesn’t say anything, the awkwardness will imply something else is wrong even if he says he’s fine.
3. He doesn’t want to upset Henry.
4. He’s fucking terrified of being here right now, but doesn’t know where else they’d go.
5. He knows his mother wants him here for a little bit, but he doesn’t think he can do it.
6. He doesn’t want to upset Henry.
7. He’s afraid of falling asleep because he’s still having nightmares.
8. The thought of someone getting past security during the day means it’s all possible at night- and more likely to happen.

“Alex…you can tell me if something is wrong. It’s just me here…I can help.” Henry offers. Alex just wants to kiss him, and hold him tight. He knows this hasn’t been easy for Henry, let alone himself.

“Babe…I’m alrig-” Alex stops himself. Henry stiffens, and sits up more in bed.

“What’s wrong?” Henry panics. Alex closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

“A lot…a lot, actually.” Alex admits. He opens his eyes to find Henry staring at him with sad saucers for eyes. Is he gonna cry?

“Can I help…what is it?” Henry asks.

“Hen…I’ll be honest…I don’t think I want to be here. It’s not the first place I would have wanted to go back to after everything…”

“I thought that myself…your mother was persistent. I did suggest us just going home with a nurse, but she refused.”

“I know, but this is causing me more stress than anything. I’m okay to fly…I think…I just want to go home to New York.”

“I think the reason she wanted you here is because of the security.”

“Like that did me any good before this?!” Alex snapped. Henry swallowed softly and cleared his throat.

“I know love, but-”

“Don’t tell me it was a freak accident, Henry. It wasn’t! It happened and it happened here and that’s because of poor security and him somehow getting my badge, which still makes no sense!”

Henry furrowed his brow at Alex’s sudden shift in emotion, “Alex, you’re jumping to conclusions…I wasn’t going to say it was a freak accident, and just so you know, there was a whole theorized explanation of what happened in the docu-series on-”

Alex blinked, and held up his hand, “Hold on… the what?!” He cocked his head sharply.

“Alex-” Henry started.

His eyes bugged, blinking wildly,  “A docu-series?! They made a fucking docu-series about it? On what, History Channel?”

Henry realized his mistake of mentioning it.

“I shouldn’t have told you that.” Henry slaps a palm to his head.

“What else am I missing!? What else haven’t I been told?” Alex exclaims, and throws the covers off his legs. He moves slowly, but direct.

“Alex, Alex please don’t get up. It’s not important-”

“It is, Henry. I need to talk to my mother. This is fucking stupid! She would have never approved this!” He said, reaching for his walker. Henry jumps up from bed and goes over to grab the bars to steady it. When Alex says he’s doing something-he’s doing it. To stop him now, would possibly end in hurting him by accident.

As he starts for the door, it opens and in pops June.

“Hey- oh, where are you off to?” She asked, watching Alex struggle through the doorway.  

“My nightly walk.” Alex sarcastically grumbles and pushes past her. She looks past Alex and into Henry’s eyes. He shakes his head, terrified. June knows not to say anything alarming, but she needs to watch out for him.  

“What’s wrong, Alex?” June follows after him.

“I’m going to go talk to mom. Did you know they made a fucking docu-series about me!?”

“You told him!” June snaps, turning on her heel toward Henry. Henry gulps and runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh, you knew about it too then?” Alex glares at her. June turns back quickly and she has no words. Her brother’s disappointment was evident, and she felt horrible. So, the only thing to do is turn back to the source- Henry.

“I thought it would ease his concerns about the security aspect of things.” Henry says when June looks back to him expectantly.

“What concerns?” June steers back to Alex once more.

Alex barks over his shoulder, “Henry- shut up.”

“Are you okay being back here?” June asks.

“I’m not talking about this with you two- where is mom?”

“She’s actually with Zahra right now.”

“Great- little reunion.” Alex says, turning the corner down the hall. June sighs heavily and Henry stares down at her with remorse.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles.

“This isn’t good.” She shakes her head and starts toward the West Wing behind Alex. Staff keeps stopping to ask if Alex needs help and he politely, but sternly tells them NO.

“Alex, you need to slow down. This is a lot of walking!” June calls after him.

“It’s good for me.” He says, and doors are being opened for him left and right. Amy spots them just as he crosses the line leading into the West Wing.

“Whoa, whoa…what are you doing down here?”

“I came to see Madam President herself.” Alex says, and Amy looks from him to June with an unmoving expression.

“She’s in a meeting.” Amy answers.

“I don’t care. Pull her out of it, I know it’s with Zahra.” Alex says through gritted teeth. Amy blinks, and again looks at June.

June steps forward, and places her one hand on his shoulder while the other rests on the walker, “Alex, babes…let’s have a seat. You’re sweating, and you don’t look good.”

“Get off me!” Alex swings his arm through the air to ward her off, and he winces when it hurts his shoulder.

“Alex!” June addresses him sternly, nearly stomping her foot. “Sit down right now, or I will have you escorted back to your room. Don’t play with me.” She hollers, and everyone in the hallway is quiet. Alex looks around him, realizing he’s surrounded on all sides. Secret Service is closing in, and Amy is telling them to keep their distance like he’s a dangerous stray animal.

The doors to a meeting room swing open, and Zahra steps out first and looks around. They didn’t detect any real danger, given they weren’t prompted for a safety drill. Ellen steps out after her and zero’s in on her son, daughter, and Henry.

“What the hell is going on out here?” Ellen asks, approaching a very winded, pale, and trembling Alex.

June begins explaining, “Henry mistakenly told-” 

“They made a fucking Docu-Series about me!?” Alex seethed, griping the bars of his walker, his knuckles a tense white.

“Oh…” Ellen says.

“OH? That’s what you have to say? OH?! Did you approve this?” He spat.

“Alex-” She says calmly, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

“DID YOU APPROVE THIS?” He yells loud enough that the entire West Wing has quieted down to a low murmur.

“Yes! Yes, I approved it! Okay? I approved it!” Ellen yells back.

Alex nearly loses his breath, “Why would you do that?” He pants.

“Alex, please sit down-” June tries as Amy scoots a chair up behind him. He pushes away at her, Amy backs off immediately.

“I said get off me, June!” He screams back at her. June lets a tear fall and wipes it away quickly. It was her last attempt.

“Alex, this wasn’t to hurt you, Sugar.” Ellen shakes her head.  

“What on earth was the intention then?”

“Why does it bother you so much, it’s not that big of a deal?” She asked, bringing her hands to her hips.

“WHY? Because if it isn’t bad enough that fucking day haunts me already- you approved for there to be some dramatized, unrealistic portrayal of it out in the world! Who did you approve to play me in the reenactment? Huh? Some short Mexican boy from an actor’s catalogue?”

“Alexander!” Ellen gasped.

“I can’t even believe you! Believe you would stoop so low as to…No, you know what? I can believe it!” Alex inched forward, fighting back the pain creeping up his legs. He definitely pushed himself too far.

Ellen stepped forward with a finger pointed at him, “Alex, stop this right now-”

Alex grits his jaw, “Fuck you. Everything is a damn publicity stunt with you! Is this embarrassing for you? Well guess what- having a fabricated story out there for everyone to see about something serious that happened to me is embarrassing!”

Zahra steps forward, “Alex, please let your mother explain-”

“You’re defending her? What, did ya’ll make up that quick? Everything’s good in the west wing now?” His expression wild. Zahra had no response. It’s what she came here to do, why would he use it against her?

“Alex stop talking for five seconds and let her explain!” Zahra fought back. Alex glared at her.

“I don’t understand this-”

“Then let me explain it to you.” Zahra bit back, stepping forward again to make a point she wasn’t backing down.

“Explain it then!” He yelled towards her. Everyone stood in silence, watching the exchange with bated breath.

“The docu-series was my doing…it wasn’t your mother. I made the executive decision to let it be released...I convinced her it was a good idea.” She started.

“You what now?” Alex furrowed his brow, and slowly his eyes grew wide as he gathered the weight of what she just said.

“We didn’t have a choice, Alex.”

“What do you mean you didn’t have a choice? You had a choice to not allow it! But you didn’t, and for why? To keep your name out there once you’re finally retired from being the fucking worlds most beloved president?” The sarcasm behind his words was plain the see.

“Now that’s enough Alexander! We can finish this privately in the office-”

He scoffed at his mother, “I’m not going anywhere with you privately! As a matter of fact, I don’t even want to be here with you- I want to go the hell home and never come back here again!”

“You have to understand this wasn’t meant to hurt you, Alex.” Zahra continued.

“Like how leaving me behind wasn’t meant to hurt me either?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“That’s not fair. You said you didn’t blame me for what happened, even after everything that-”

“You came to see me after disappearing off the face of the earth, not once did you mention that you were a part of something like this. Who gave you the right-”

Ellen stepped up, catching the attention of her son. “I did. Alex, you were in a coma when all of this was decided, okay? You said you didn’t want to know anything when you woke up, so we didn’t tell you.”

“It still doesn’t give you the right.”

Zahra held a hand out to Ellen, “You’re right, it doesn’t. But if you were there to see what the people were trying to say really happened, opposed to the truth, you would have wanted it too.”

“What are you even talking about?” Alex sneered.

“The theories behind what happened were awful. It not only was effecting the White House, but the Royal family as well.”

Zahra continued as Alex looked over his shoulder to find his fiancé, clutching his arms with a blank expression. He broke out of his overwhelming stance when Alex’s eyes fell upon him.

“Reporters were getting stories from anywhere they could, and all of them had nothing to do with what really happened. People started believing the alternate theories of what happened that day instead of the press release your mother gave from the White House. They were saying the Queen had sent people to assassinate you for everything with the scandal four years ago, and Phillip tried to shut that down, but it made matters worse…they were saying your mother arranged it at one point- Alex it was getting out of hand. We had to give something to the people.”

“Is that true, Henry?”

Henry swallowed thickly and nodded, “Y-yes…it’s true.” He croaked out.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this was going on?”

“…Like your mother said…you demanded to hear nothing about the case.”

Alex relaxed his grip on his walker, and the trembling in his hands was relentless, even as he stretched out his fingers. He turned back to see Zahra looking at Ellen and he quickly realized the anger hadn’t dissipated.

“When did you decide this then? Before or after your mental breakdown?” Alex spat.

Zahra licked her lips, biting back every ounce of aggression she had toward him in that very moment. June broke the following silence, “He’s just upset, he doesn’t mean it!”

“I can speak for myself, June.” Alex retorted, still waiting for Zahra’s response.   

“It was complicated, Alex…I was honest with you. Your mother and I did stop talking for a while there...until today…that I was truthful about. You got worse, and things weren’t looking up…something had to be done. Before I left, the theories and conspiracies surrounding the accident-”

Alex’s nostrils flared, “It was a premeditated attempt to kill me, since when is that considered an accident?”  

Zahra held up her hands in defense, “Okay- that was a poor choice of words on my part…I’m sorry. Regardless, Alex we needed to control where the flow of information was coming from, and bring to light what was going on without divulging too much information about the case, which was on going and…”

All Alex could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears. His mind was screaming out just about every profanity in the book, wanting to shout it at all of them- tell them how fucked up this was. How fucked up they were for allowing it. How much this sounded like an excuse for his mother to make a power move before leaving Office. How he wishes he never barred them from sharing information with him. How he wishes he wasn’t so fucking anxious. If he knew then maybe he wouldn’t have been so nice to Zahra. He wishes he understood what was making him so ungodly mad about all this.   

Alex shook his head, clenched his eyes shut and tried everything in his power to stop thinking so fucking loud, “Just stop! STOP IT!” He hollered, and Zahra stopped midsentence while explaining something he hadn’t even taken the time to listen to.

“I don’t want to hear any more of this. I’m fucking done with this conversation and all of you. I want to go home.” He turned with his walker to start back the way he came. Henry shifted out of the way, and placed his hand on the walker when Alex almost tipped to the side.

“Sugar, you are home.” Ellen’s voice was low and strained, hinting at the pain she was feeling; not for herself, but for her son.  

An agitated groan erupted from Alex’s throat, he turned his body and pointed a finger at his mother, “This isn’t my home! You had no business dictating where I should have come back to. New York is my home! Where my happy life is, far away from here and from you. I didn’t want to come back here!” Alex motioned outwardly with his hand. “To the place that brings me nothing but horrible, gut-wrenching memories…” He added, clutching a hand to his stomach. “I want to go the hell home with the people who make me feel safe. I don’t feel safe here- not anymore!” His last words catching in his throat. He turned his body back to face his walker correctly, and Henry went to help him.

“Alex wait, getting upset over a docu-series that was meant to clear the situation is just ridiculous-” Ellen was grasping at straws. Seeing her son this upset after finally getting released from what was almost a death sentence just didn’t make sense.

That was it. The final word to set him over. Alex spun back around, hissing at the sheer pain in his hip, that radiated up his spine. “NO! This wasn’t to clear the situation! It was to clear YOU! You and the crown and whoever else the world was blaming for me almost dying. This wasn’t for my benefit; this was never for me. This was for everyone else involved. No one thought of me. If you did, you wouldn’t have fucking done it. Who cares what they would have said! You and everyone else in this fucking cursed piece of shit house knows the truth. That should have been good enough!” Alex bellowed, and stepped out toward his mother with his bad leg and his weight made it give out instantly. Alex fell forward, bracing his fall with his hands out stretched. The gasps were universal and every hand was out reaching for him.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Alex growled, and attempted to get up. Inevitably he was unable to, and pushed at everyone who wasn’t Henry. They got him to his feet, he adjusted his shirt, ran a hand through his disheveled curls and without so much as another word he started back toward his room.

Alex spoke over his shoulder at Henry who didn’t know whether to follow, or let him be, “We’re going home, let’s go, Henry. Arrange a plane to New York, right now.” Alex said to the first Secret Service agent in view. They looked to Ellen who reluctantly nodded. June was in tears, and Zahra had already excused herself back into the meeting room.

“Shows over…get back to work.” Ellen cleared the hallway, and slammed the door to the meeting room behind her.

“Alex, please take a second. You have to be hurting after that fall.” Henry begged, trying to convince Alex to take a seat. He continued on, fuming and not listen to a thing he had to say. Once back at his room, Alex tossed his walker aside, and hobbled to the couch. He nearly collapsed onto it, and inhaled sharply.

Henry let the door close at its own strength and walked toward Alex with a purpose. He stood before him, arms crossed over his chest and a stern expression pasted on his face.

“Are you absolutely mad? Were you listening to a word I said back there?” Henry questioned. Alex had his head back against the couch with his palms pressed into his eyes.

“Alex-”

“Shut up, Henry! I heard you, alright? I fucking heard you. I wanted to get back to this room as fast as possible so we could leave.”

“Alex, just wait a minute here. Leaving tonight is just silly. What happened down there, well…we need to talk about it.” He explained.

“What is there to talk about Henry? They lied to me-”

“You didn’t want to know what was happening in the first place! Also, who in their right mind would tell someone who’s been through such a traumatic experience, such as yourself, that they are making a documentary about them anyway? Alex you’d already been through so much, I’m sorry we didn’t say anything, but you would have wanted to watch it…I’ll admit it wasn’t easy to take.”

“You watched it?” Alex scowled.

“Of course, I watched it! Who else do you think would have shut it down faster than your mother if they hadn’t done right by you? Me, your fiancé! Alex…this was far more complicated than you could possibly imagine, and still is! Your mother did everything in her power at first to calm the masses, who thought the world was headed for another large-scale terrorist attack.”

“Henry…I’m tired…and I don’t feel good, and my body is screaming at me.”

“Whose fault is that? Hmm? Certainly not the unproclaimed Olympic track runner, known as Alex Claremont-Diaz, right?” Henry cocked an eyebrow at him. Alex glared at him with the corner of his lip lifting in a show of disgust.

“Now you’re a big jokester, is that it?”

“Alex…you have every right to be upset, but how you addressed it wasn’t appropriate and you know it. Your mum-”

“Do me a favor, Wales. Never mention my mother again. I’m going to start packing, and if you’re not ready to go when I am, I’m leaving without you.” Alex said, pushing off as best he could from the couch and using the furniture along the way as a crutch until he reached the bed. “Fuck, my hip is on fire.” Alex growled through gritted teeth.

“Alex, let’s have some pain medication, a good rest and then leave tomorrow morning.”

“No, I want to leave tonight.” Alex shook his head.

“Tell me something…the conversation we were having before you stormed out, and I made mention to the docu-series…where was that coming from?”

“What do you mean?”

“You mentioned the anxiety of being here…was it only about being here, or is there something else going on I should know about?”

“Just forget I mentioned it, Henry. We’re going back to New York- problem solved.”

Henry shook his head, “No, no…problem not solved. Talk to me, Alex…I’m here for you, and I want to help you. Even in your most self-righteous moments before you’ve never cursed your mother out like that.”

“I said, drop it, Henry. Discussion over.” Alex rolled his eyes, and stood from the bed. His hip ached something fierce, and his legs were cramping up. The most he’s walked in months, and it showed. His pelvis wasn’t feeling so hot either, and Alex knows he’s gonna pay for this in some way or another.

“Alexander- stop it. Talk to me this instant, what’s wrong so I can help you?” Henry spoke sternly and grabbed Alex’s shoulders in his hands. He made Alex look him in the eye, and they held it for a while. Alex blinked a few times, feeling the sting of tears pricking his eyes, and a knot squeezing his throat in a vise-like-grip.

“I…I don’t know.” His lip quivered. Henry softened and pulled him close. Alex instantly wrapped his arms around Henry’s waist to his comfort level.

“It’s alright love…it’s alright.” Henry soothed.

“I just want to be back to n-normal.” He huffed a heavy breath, and the tears streamed down his face. “I hate this.”

“I know…I do too.”

“I just want to go home…please take me home, Henry, I’ll do anything- Please! I’ll take the pills, I’ll go to therapy- I’ll do it all, just get me the hell out of here.” Alex sobbed into Henry’s chest. Henry’s heart can’t take it anymore. He can’t take seeing his love this way.

“We’re going, love…I promise we’ll go.” Henry nodded, rubbing soothing circles into Alex’s back. He pressed a kiss to the top of Alex’s head and held him for a while as he cried.

1 Month Later…

Alex was on the couch under a fluffy blanket, with David at his side. He was absentmindedly petting his head and staring off into space. Something he’s been doing more and more since they returned home. Henry catches him doing it quite a bit, to the point he stopped mid eating one day and got lost in his thoughts. Alex hadn’t started out like that, but as the days continued on, it seemed to be getting worse. Henry thought it was the lack of social interaction, and being cut off from society for so long, so he decided to take him to the park for the afternoon two weeks ago. It was a horrible decision, and Alex ended up having a massive panic attack.   

“Alex, it’s almost eleven, darling…do you want to clean up before your session?”

“Do I have to?” He asked numbly, looking down at David.

“Well…I let you skip the last two days, so today would be best…yes. I’ll help you, come on.” He said, extending his hands out for Alex to take. Alex hesitated with a sigh, and reluctantly reached out to take the help. He was on his feet, and gripping Henry’s arms for support all the way to the stairs. Henry helped him up the stairs and into their bedroom. The bathroom was only a few more feet, and Alex felt like he couldn’t make it. He made Henry stop at the bed, and told him to go put the water on and come back. In the meantime, Alex removed his t-shirt, and toed off his socks. The pants he needed help with. Henry came back with his sleeves rolled up and helped Alex out of his sweatpants and boxers. They made it into the bathroom, and Henry had Alex wait against the sink as he stripped down.

Alex glanced up into the mirror for the first time since they’ve been home. He’s avoided it many times, but today he forgot his rule of not looking or maybe he just didn’t care anymore. But he finally looked and the image was burning itself into his brain. To him, he appeared rather unwell. He’d lost weight from lack of motivation and a loss of appetite. His scars were healing, but they were rough looking with a dark pink hue. His skin was dull and lacked its usual glow, and his hair was in the same shape.

“Ready?” Henry asked, naked and unashamed- beautiful as ever.

“Yeah.” Alex replied, with a nod.

“Good, in we go.” Henry said, stepping back into the shower and helping Alex in. He positioned him under the water, and started on his hair with the shampoo, then conditioner. He took the time to wash his body gently, and made sure he was extra careful when dealing with the scarred areas. Alex held the wall for support and watched as Henry dropped to his knees to wash up and down his legs with the soft, sudsy loofa. Alex closed his eyes, and tipped his head back into the water. He let it run down his face, and through his hair- it felt great, but he didn’t. He wanted to sit down again and pet David while Henry talked to him about his day, which consisted of some work for the shelter, and then what he did around the house.

Alex wants to help around the house, but how can he? He used to be so quick on his feet, dancing across the floor with the mop in his hands without even having to count the steps he took. He misses the mornings where he’d bound down the stairs in a hurry and speed into Henry’s arms to stay warm because Henry keeps the house at 68 degrees. That’s cold for Alex, and he hates it, but he loves Henry, so he lets him. He wishes he could go for runs again with David, and then end up carrying him home the last half mile because he’s a baby and gets tired. The silly little things he never thought of missing, is what he misses most of all.

Alex breaks down in the shower, this being the third time today, and Henry stands to look at him with a deep frown. He reaches out and rubs a thumb over Alex’s cheek.  

“Love, we’re almost done. A little more, you’re doing great.”

“Okay.” Alex nods, and sniffles hard, but the tears keep flowing. When they’re done, Henry sits Alex on the closed toilet seat with a towel around his waist and runs product through his hair with his fingers. Alex reaches for Henry’s towel and hooks his fingers between the towel and Henry’s torso to help steady himself.

Henry smiles, and keeps running his hands through his hair.

“You doin’ alright, darling?” He asks. Alex nods, and sighs. “Done.” Henry says and washes his hands at the sink. Alex scrubs his hands over his face and groans.

“New clothes, and then we’ll eat a little something before the doctor shows up.”

“Okay.” Alex answers flatly.

Once back downstairs and seated at the table, Henry places a sandwich in front of Alex with a small side of crisps, sliced apples and a glass of water.

“Look alright?” Henry asks, wiping his hands on a towel. Alex stares down at his plate. He doesn’t want to eat any of this. He nods, and Henry watches as Alex picks up the corner of the bread and inspects the contents. It’s not that Henry can’t make a sandwich cause Alex actually loves Henry’s sandwiches; he just can’t get himself to eat it.

“Too much mustard?” Henry questions. Alex shakes his head and takes the first half into his hands. He brings it to his mouth, takes a bite and then places it back down. Henry doesn’t say a word when he doesn’t eat the entire half of sandwich, he eats it himself and brings Alex a protein shake after he’s situated on the couch again. David curls up with him, and sighs as he lays his chin on Alex’s leg.

Henry knows David can tell Alex isn’t himself. He hadn’t left his side since they’d been back. His little head perked up when the doorbell rang. Henry answered it and let the therapist in.

“Thanks for making the change, Megan, I’m sorry we had to cancel yesterday, Alex wasn’t feeling well.” Henry explained.  

“That’s quite alright, I understand.” She smiled, and made her way into the living room. Henry absolutely adores Alex’s therapist. She’s very sweet, and patient with him, but also very intelligent and gets Alex talking without a fight. Henry’s not sure how she does it. Lately, he’s been having a harder time doing so himself.

As she greeted Alex, and took a seat, Henry’s pocket began vibrating. He retrieved his phone and saw it was June calling. He tiptoed away, and closed himself into the bathroom and turned the fan on.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey, Hen…how’s Alex? I tried calling him, but his phone is off?”

“Yeah, uh, he let it die a few days ago.” Henry admitted sheepishly.

“…he hasn’t been on his phone for a few days?” She asked, sounding slightly concerned.

“Er, no…he’s not, um…well, he’s fine. He’s in session currently.”

“Henry…is Alex, okay? You have to give me more than he’s fine…letting his phone die days ago doesn’t sound fine to me.”

Henry sighs exasperatedly and pinches the bridge of his nose, “June, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me the truth.” She says. Henry paused, and a tightness rose in his chest.

“Alright…well, truth is- no, he’s not okay…he hasn’t been for a couple weeks now.”

“What’s going on?” She said.

“He, erm…He’s kind of shutting down.” He said, and forced himself to stop clenching his jaw.

“Shutting down? …Henry, why didn’t you call me or mom sooner?”

“Your mother’s been busy with the move, and I didn’t want to worry you…”

“What’s shutting down, mean exactly?” She asked. Henry rubbed a hand at the back of his neck, pacing the small confines of the bathroom.

“He’s not eating well, and he’s quite depressed.”

“Christ.” June sighed quietly, but loud enough for Henry to hear.

“He’s in session…he’s getting help, he’s just…well he’s.” Henry was trembling now, and cupped a hand over his mouth. The tears came on like a flash flood. He accidently let a sob out, and June sighed.

“Henry-”

“I don’t want to see him like this anymore, June…It’s scaring me.” He confessed through a sob.

“I know, hon…I know. I’m booking a flight now, and I’ll be there by tonight. Alright?”

“Alright.” Henry sniffled, and tried to collect himself. He busied himself with some housework, and then a book until it’s time for Megan to come get him to discuss how things went.

Megan takes a seat across from Alex and takes out her notebook she uses during their sessions.

“Hi Alex, it’s been a week. Did you and Henry do anything exciting?” She asks first. Alex thinks a moment, and then shakes his head.

“Neither did I.” She says with a smile, and jots down his current behavior. Normally he greets her, wants to engage, but today it’s all head shakes and blank stares.

“We left off last week talking about your day at the park…we had gone over the panic attack, and then you talked about a couple things that were bothering you. Do you remember what those things were?”

Alex once again thought a moment, “I don’t remember…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s alright. I just wanted to see if you were still thinking about them.”

He nodded like he understood and took a deep breath.

“What did you do today so far?”

“I took a shower.”

“Great! That had to feel good. When did you last shower?”

“I don’t know...It’s Friday, right?” He asked, furrowing his brow and picking at the blanket on his lap. Megan paused a moment and put her pen down.

“You don’t know in general, or because you’re not sure what day it is?”

“The day.” He shrugs.

“It’s Friday, yeah…so, when did you last shower?”

“Tuesday.” Alex admits, and furrows his brow.

“Alright.” She nodded. “Why didn’t you shower the last two days?”

“I didn’t go anywhere.” He shrugged.  

Megan takes his response and nods, “That’s fair…If you did go somewhere, would you have showered?”

“I guess so. But I didn’t.” Alex answered.

“How about food…did you eat today?”

“I ate a sandwich.”

“The whole thing?”

“A half.”

“The whole half?” She questioned.

“Yeah.” Alex rolled his eyes, and pointed to the table where his cup was sitting. “And a protein shake.”

“Okay, good.” She jotted it down. “Do you have a favorite food? I don’t think we talked about that before…I love, love, love Gyro’s.”

Alex was quiet a moment, and focused on petting David’s ear, “I guess tacos.”

“Tacos? Yum. When’s the last time you had Taco’s?”

“I couldn’t say.” Alex shrugged.

“Maybe Henry could make Taco’s one night? You should mention it.”

“He’s not…never mind.” Alex waved it off, and pulled the blanket higher on his lap.

“No, what were you gonna say?”

“No, it’s fine.” He shrugged it off.

“Come on, I won’t tell.” She smirked.

Alex took a breath and Megan could see the smile in his eyes, but lack thereof on his face, “Henry’s not the best cook…he can make some things, but he still has a lot to learn.”

“Oh, I see… So, you’re the cook then?”

“Yeah…I cook…or I used too.”

“Why not now?”

He sighs, “I can’t stand for long periods, so I can’t see cooking being an option right now.” He says, a bit bitter.

“Right…” She nods, “Is physical therapy helping with that at all? When was your last session?”

“Monday…I go back tomorrow for an afternoon appointment.”

“Great. Well make sure to eat well, it will help.” She suggested. Alex hesitates to make a remark back about how he eats just fine, but then he remembers he didn’t eat the whole sandwich.

His mouth falls open slightly at the realization, “…I lied.”

“About the appointment?” Megan cocked her head.

“No…about the sandwich.” He shakes his head.

“What about it?” She asks.

“I didn’t eat it all…I’m sorry…I lied.” Alex exhales and tries to steady his breathing. He doesn’t know why that makes him want to cry, but it does.

“Alex, it’s alright…are you just not hungry?”

“I just don’t want to eat.”

“Why not?”

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s not, I can guarantee you.”

“…it takes too much energy.”

Megan nods and rolls her lips in. She places her book down and scoots to the end of her seat.

“Alex, can I be real with you? I feel like you and I can talk openly, and I’ve always said that to you.”

“Alright.” He nods, and waits for her to go on.

“You’re tired because you’re upset…and that’s okay. But you can’t go without eating. You just can’t. You don’t have the energy because you’re not getting enough nutrients. Protein shakes aren’t cutting it. You have to eat real food. Even if it’s oatmeal or something small…just actual food. Get a burger from the burger place up the street- who cares! Eat what you want, but try to fit some healthy stuff in there too.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can, Henry is here to help with that too…and when you do, you’ll feel better. Even how you feel emotionally. You’ll get better.”

“I feel like I’m just-” He doesn’t continue.

“Just what?”

Alex opens his mouth, but closes it again, “I didn’t tell Henry this yesterday…and I should have…but I was embarrassed.”

“What happened?”

“I stood up out of bed, and I let my hands fall to the side and…” Alex sniffles and looked at his empty left hand, “…my engagement ring fell off and rolled under the bed.”

“Why was that embarrassing?” Megan asked.

“Because look at me! I let myself get this way, and I could only imagine what Henry sees.”

“You’re embarrassed about what Henry thinks of you?”

“I’m afraid he’ll be upset with me.”

“Has he given you reason to think this way about your body in the past?”

“No…not really...He’s always been very accepting of the way I look.” He blushes slightly.

“So, why are you worried now?”

“I’m hideous.” Alex blinks away a few tears, and his chest fills with butterflies and painful knots.

“Alex…are you more afraid of what he thinks about your body after the incident, or about how much weight you’ve lost?”

Alex doesn’t answer, instead he picks at the blanket and fidgets in his seat.

“You don’t have to answer, but think about it.”

He nods, and she continues. They talk for a bit about random things to get him back to talking, and then she throws the major question he’s been dreading, “When did you last talk to your mom?”

“I don’t want to talk about her.” He wrings his left-hand’s fingers between his right and focuses on them.

“Why not?”

“She betrayed me.”

“Yeah, I know she did. What about it feels like betrayal though?”

“She didn’t tell me she was doing it!” He snips.

“She was also respecting your wishes of not telling you anything about what was going on, right? You mentioned asking that of your family?”

“…Yeah.” Alex grumbled, looking away. They’ve been over this many times now, to the point Alex is tired of hearing it. Also, because he’s realized he was in the wrong for getting upset the way he did in front of everyone.

“Do you wanna talk about the day of the incident? You started last session, but you stopped.”

“Do we have to?”

“No.” She shrugged, and waited for him to talk next. He was quiet and looking to her for answers. He hasn’t talked about that day in detail to anyone yet. Not even Henry.

“…okay.” He swallows. “Let’s talk about it.” He says, and his voice is hoarse.

“Go ahead.”

“Where do you want me to begin?”

“Anywhere you can think of…if you need something to work with, how did the day start?”

“I arrived at the White House and I signed in…I had to use a guest pass…I found my mom and she was talking to the kids from the class. I answered some questions, and then that’s when everything started. They told us there was an intruder, but not to panic.”

“And you got to safety?”

“Kind of…Uh, my mom’s Deputy Chief of Staff told me to go into the Oval office because it was a safe spot…so, we took the kids-”

“Who is we?”

“Uh, me, the teachers, the secret service and my body guard, Cash.” He sniffled, scratching at his forehead.  

She nodded, and continued listening.

“So…we went in, and I wanted the kids to be as calm as possible, so I started talking to them…then we were told we had to be quiet so…” Alex was quiet all of a sudden. He hadn’t spoken for at least a minute before he continued, “and we, uh…he…well long story short, the guy found me in the office.”

“He came there for you?” She asked.

“Yeah…we was looking for me.” Alex remembers it clearly. He picks at his lip with his fingers, and sees the image of the man in his head. The way he looked with the bomb strapped to his chest and the tremble picks up in his hands.   

“Do you know why?”

“Yeah, he said…uh, yeah...he, uh…” Alex rubbed the back of his hand against his nose. “Sorry.” He whispered.

“It’s okay, take your time.” Megan assured him.

“He, um…” Alex’s lip quivered. “He told me, the world will be a better place without me in it.” He managed out surprisingly well.

“Why did he say that?”

“He said…I was the reason his life was over, I guess…that I was the reason Richards didn’t win.”

“What did that have to do with Richards?”

“He worked with him on the campaign…he lost his job because Richards didn’t get elected into office.”

“That’s not your fault.” She reminded him.

“He said it was.”

“You know it’s not your fault though, right?”

“Yeah.” Alex nods.

“Okay, continue.” She says, and sits back in her chair. He tells her everything from how he got him to release the kids, to Cash getting shot, to himself getting shot while over the phone call with Henry, moments before the explosion.

“That must have been really scary for both of you…”

“It was.” Alex sniffles, and wipes at his nose with a tissue. He fiddles with the tissue, bawls it up and throws it to the side.

“Do you remember anything after?”

“I just remember waking up, and being in so much pain. I was thankful for being a live, but I rather have been dead instead of feeling how broken I was.”

His session was running over, but Henry didn’t mind- it just meant she probably wasn’t satisfied with how he was doing at the hour mark so she wanted to keep talking. Henry tip toed back toward the living room and stood by the wall listening in to see what was up.  

“I understand that…but it’s much better having you here rather than dead.” Megan says, and Henry furrows his brows at that.

“Yeah…I know…I just…I’m still pretty scared.”

“About?”

“Going to sleep and having nightmares.”

“You have nightmares about this?”

“All the time.” Alex admits.

“What usually happens in the nightmares?”

“I get shot a lot…and I tend to be alive and everything else…everyone is usually dead.”

“Is that something you fear happening to you again?”

“I guess.”

“Is that why you had the panic attack while in public?”

“Yeah…I just got nervous out of nowhere, and I told Henry I wanted to go home and it was like instantaneous.”

“What was?”

“The attack…I felt like all eyes were on me, and people were noticing me, and I know it’s not what happened, but it felt like they were starting to crowd me. I couldn’t breathe, and then I got dizzy and I almost blacked out.” His breathing picked up at the sheer thought of it.

“That’s a really terrible feeling, Alex.” Megan agreed.

“It was very intense...yeah.” Alex said.

“Do you get panic attacks often?”

“Lately, yes. Silent ones…I don’t always have ones like at the park…I don’t like to bother Henry with it, but most nights I have them and when he leaves to take David on walks.”

“How come?”

“I just feel really scared being alone, but also I fear for him too, ya’ know?”

Megan says affirmatively, “Absolutely, that’s justified. Why do you keep it to yourself though?” she adds.

“…Just easier that way.” He says, and his voice breaks.

Henry clasped a hand over his chest and frowned. He felt so sorry for Alex, but at the same time very proud of him for talking this through.

“Do you want to talk a little more?”

“I’m kind of tired.”

“Alright, we’ll pick up next session. In the meantime, I want to hear you’ve showered six days out of the week- you get one free pass. If that’s too much, at least four times in a week. I want you to keep this log, and write in it what you’ve eaten, so I can see progress next session, okay?” She says and Henry hears her pulling out papers and handing them over.

“I’ll try my best.” Alex says.

“Good. See you next Friday.” Megan collected her things, and rounded the corner. Henry made it appear as thought he was just walking up and made a surprised face at seeing her.

“Done already?” He asked, clapping his hands together.

“Yup. He’s probably gonna want a little bit of time to reflect, but feel free to talk with him. He told me about the sandwich…how much is he eating a day would you say?”

“Maybe once or twice…depends. I supplement with a shake to be sure his stomach is full.”

“Okay…” She pulls him further out into the hall. “Listen, if he stops eating all together, I need you to call me immediately…Normally, I’d leave these sessions feeling confident, but he seems like he’s regressing a little and I don’t want it to get to the point where I have to admit him. Okay?”

“Admit him? Er…as in-”

“Admitted into the hospital for psychiatric observation.”

“Okay…I promise it won’t get there.”

“Henry, it’s okay if it does…we just need to do what’s best for Alex right now, and if he needs to get twenty-four-hour help, we’ll supply it-”

“I’m here…I’m his twenty-four-hour help.” Henry says urgently.

Megan takes his hands into hers, “Henry listen to me…you aren’t his care taker, you’re his fiancé.”

Henry wants to argue the fact, but she’s right…he’s not his care taker, but he’s felt like one for weeks now.

“O-okay.” Henry nods, and Megan stays a second to make sure he’s okay.

“Henry…does Alex need twenty-four-hour help? Because if he does, I can make arrangements tonight.”

“No!” Henry gasps, and calms himself immediately. “I mean, he’s fine. I have it under control, and I know when to call.”

“Sounds good…I’ll be available.” She says, and soon she’s packed up and gone. Henry hovers, but doesn’t say anything at first. Alex isn’t doing much, but he’s thinking, Henry knows this. He’s thinking too much…and now Henry doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep tonight, knowing Alex has anxiety attacks while he’s sleeping peacefully beside him.

It’s super late when June arrives at the brownstone. Alex is asleep on the couch, David the little spoon. Henry had finished a load of laundry, and put fresh linens on the guest room bed.

“Where is he?” June asks, stripping her coat at the door and rushing toward the living room.

“June wait- he’s sleeping!” He whisper yells toward her. He quickly hangs up her coat and darts after her. “June.” She says, and screeches to a halt right behind her.

David perks up, notices June and leaps off the couch toward her. This stirs Alex awake and he sits up a little dazed and blurry eyed.

“Hi, oh my goodness you’re such a good boy.” June says, and rubs David’s belly when he flops onto the floor at her feet.

“June?” Alex questions. June stands quickly and starts over to him. He pushes off the blanket, runs a hand through his hair and adjusts to a sitting position. June can see it- how skinny her brother is and how tired he looks. This isn’t the Alex she’s known all her life. Not even close.

“H-Hi, Bub…how are you?” She says, taking a seat beside him. She gently pulls him into a hug and he weakly hugs her back. It’s a little upsetting at first, but she knows he’s still a little mad at her.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“Well, you turned off your phone, and I was worried. I called Henry and he told me you were fine, but of course I have to come see for myself, right?” She smiles and Alex nods. He looks away and decides he’s getting up now. Henry grabs the walker, sets it before him, and helps him stand. Alex hobbles out of the room, and June gawks at Henry.

“Are you fucking with me? Henry what the fuck is wrong with you?! He looks like a cancer patient!” June softly slaps his arm. Henry stares at her in disbelief.  

“What’s wrong with me?” Henry blinks. “If only you knew how much time and effort, I’ve put into making sure he eats, bathes, and makes it to appointments on time! Maybe then you’d know what’s wrong with me.” He says, and begins pacing. “Christ Sake, oh, should I also mention how I take care of the house, go to work, walk the dog and still find time to sleep? Surely, you haven’t forgotten I’m a Prince? Right? I mean, fuck, I forgot for a second there, so yeah, the crown also demands my attention- fuck’s sake, I’ve almost forgetting the god-damned wedding planner emails I keep avoiding too- like I wasn’t just planning a wedding nearly six months ago or something! What’s wrong with me? I’m fucking tired, June! I’m sorry this isn’t what you wanted to see, but it’s not what I want to see either!” Henry’s hysterical, and he doesn’t realize it until it’s happening but he’s sobbing uncontrollably. June is shocked by the sudden outburst and fears he’s going to hyperventilate. She makes him sit down and take deep breaths.

Alex walkers back into the room, and June is tending to Henry still. Alex freezes at the entry to the living room and looks from Henry to June.

“Henry, breathe…just breathe.” June coaches.

“I-I’m…tr-try-trying.” He gasps, and holds a hand to his chest.

“What happened, what’s wrong?” Alex questions, and the tone in his voice picks up.

“He’s okay, Alex. It’s okay.” June assures him.

“Why can’t be breathe?” Alex goes numb.

“He’s fine! He’s just a little upset.”

Henry shakes his head at her, gripping at her arm.

“No, no he’s not…he’s uh, he’s fine.” She tries again.

“Henry…Henry what’s wrong?” Alex manages his way over and nudges June out of the way.

“I-I’m f-f-f-fine.” He hiccups.

Alex reaches out and touches his face, it’s clammy, “No, you’re not…you’re having a panic attack…June, go get his meds in the cabinet in the bathroom.” Alex orders, and June runs off. “Henry, look at me- breathe Henry, count to ten.” Alex says, leaning over his walker for support and holding Henry’s face in his hands.

Henry does count, but it’s not helping.

“What made you like this?” Alex begins to panic. He manages a pill out for him when June returns with the bottle, and shoves it in his mouth. He makes him swallow it. June doesn’t say anything, rather she observes how this moment is able to bring her brother back just enough to see he’s still there under his gray veil of depression.

After another ten minutes of huffing and trying to get his breathing back to normal, Henry’s finally coming down from his attack. Alex takes a seat, and sees how spent and brittle his fiancé looks. He’s seen Henry tired like this before, but usually it was because something was bothering him. June said he was upset, but about what?...him?

“This was my fault... wasn’t it?” Alex mumbles. Henry looks to him with sorrowful eyes.

“Alex, it’s not your fault.” Henry says, and Alex shakes his head.

“But it is, Henry…it is my fault…you wouldn’t be having panic attacks, if I could just get my shit together long enough to not feel so useless and pitiful.”

“Alexander, that’s not at all true.” Henry tries again, but Alex shoots him a pointed look.

“Stop trying to protect my feelings, Henry. It’s not helpful…did my recent bout of depression cause this? Am I upsetting you?” Alex asks. Henry hesitates to answer, but in time he nods and Alex clenches his eyes shut with a long inhale through his nose.

“Okay.” Alex nods firmly, and takes a moment before he pulls himself up with the walker and heads for the house phone, that Henry didn’t want, but Alex said it would make him feel like they were living in the 90’s.

He pulled the card off the fridge, dialed the number and held the phone to his ear.

Henry stands quickly, and watches from the living room, “What are you doing, Alex?”

“Alex,” June speaks up, but he holds his hand up.

“Hi, Megan, I’m sorry it’s late, this is Alex…Yes, Claremont-Diaz…yeah, everything is, well…not so good. I’d like to admit myself to the hospital.”

“Alex.” June is shocked, and takes multiple steps forward with a hand pressed to her chest.

Henry watches with painstaking guilt as his fiancé says the words, he never expected him to have to say. He failed him…he tried, and he failed him.

Alex leans against the counter as he talks, “Yeah, I understand. I’m willingly volunteering myself to go…yeah, yup…okay, great. See you then.” He says, like it was killing him to do so, before hanging up. He stares at the phone, and then places it back on the machine.

“Alex…what did you just do?” Henry’s shaking as he moves around the furniture toward his love.

“Henry…this is a good thing…I need to do this…for me, and for you…and for everyone who I care about.” Alex says, looking at June too. Henry is almost in tears, and he takes Alex by the arms.

“I’m sorry.” Henry bites his lower lip to keep from crying.  

“No…I’m sorry.” Alex says, looking into his watery eyes. “I need help, Henry…I’ll admit it…if it means getting to enjoy our life again, I’ll do anything…because if I see you like that ever again and I know I caused it- I won’t be able to live with myself.” Alex broke down instantly and Henry fights back more tears as he pulls Alex into his arms. June joins in, and then she goes and packs his bag.

They drive him to the mental health clinic, and help him into the facility. They stop at the front check-in, and a nurse gets him situated.

“I love you…I put your phone and your charger in the bag…I don’t think they let you have phones, but it’s alright. I’m going to call every day, and I’ll come see you when they allow it. I had your PT appointments scheduled to come here, so don’t worry about that. Alright?”

“Okay, thanks.” Alex smiled, for the first time in weeks and Henry’s heart skipped a beat. He pressed a kiss to his lips, and then took him into a tight hug. Alex held on, burying his face in his neck and breathed in deeply, taking Henry’s smell with him.

“Here.” Henry said, and pulled off his sweater. He handed it to Alex, and the grateful little smirk on his lips was worth every second he had to stand with goosebumps over his arms.

“You won’t be here long, love. You’ll be home before you know it.” Henry assured him.

“I know.” Alex nodded. June was next and she held her brother for a while until he pushed off a bit. “I have to go, bug.” He said, and June acknowledged it with a kiss to his cheek. They let him be admitted, and stood together as they watched him disappear behind the doors.

“He’ll be alright…right?” Henry asked, keeping his eyes on the doors for the slight chance he decides he changes his mind.

June clutches her hands against her chest, “It takes a strong person to do what he just did…I’m sure of it.”

Henry nods, “Good.” They both take a deep breath and head home.

Alex ended up spending two months in the hospital, and weirdly enough, he’s thankful everyday for Henry’s Panic Attack. It saved him from losing himself any more than he already had. He came back home twenty-pounds heavier, stronger, and finally getting around less with the walker. He finds he needs it more in the mornings, but once he gets his body going, he can do a little more each day without it.

PT was doing wonders for him, once he accepted the strength training. It was hard at first, but he was back to walking the treadmill and even a little weight training added in. Ellen caught wind of the hospital stay, and came to visit for a bit. Instead of Henry showing up for a scheduled visit, she took his place. Alex wasn’t very happy with it at first, but they ended up having a much-needed long talk about everything. Ellen admitted it was poor taste not to inform Alex of the docu-series, and actually requested they remove it from TV. It got it’s point across and now it’s in the past. Zahra’s visit didn’t come until after he left the hospital, but it was similar to that of Ellen’s where they hashed everything out, and decided what’s in the past will stay there.

He continues to cope with things every day, and on the one-year anniversary of the event, Alex and Henry took a vacation to the Swiss Alps to change the memories associated with that day. Alex still wasn’t cleared by his doctor for skiing, but they didn’t say anything about a little hot tub action…or intimate time…

Before they knew it, another year had gone by, and they were off to England to finally be married. It was such a spectacular and momentous event, that would certainly go down in history with the biggest turnout in comparison to Phillip and Martha’s wedding. With a little help from coping mechanisms, Alex was able to handle the crowds of people for spurts throughout the day with no problems. He found himself taking breaks, but no one forced him to do anything he didn’t feel comfortable with. Even Henry ran off with him at times for a breather with the amount of attention on them. In the end, they couldn’t have asked for a better wedding day…and night. For not being so certain where life was taking them two years prior, they certainly had a lot to look forward to in the future….

Epilogue

Four Years Later…

“Henry! Where are you?! You’re gonna miss this!” Alex hollered, and Henry ran through the halls in socks at record speed.

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Shite, I’m coming!” He cheered back. As he approached the living room of their ranch style home in Texas. They’d moved there about two years after their wedding, and Alex found joy in being close to his family now.

“Look!” Alex said, beaming with pride as they watched their first baby grip the coffee table. She pulled herself up, and looked at her parents with big, blue doe eyes and bubbles popping on her lips.

“She did it!” Alex cheered, and the baby squealed with joy. “You did it baby girl, muah.” Alex picked her up and smooched a loud kiss to her chunky cheeks, which had her giggling.

“We’re so proud of you, love!” Henry crowded them, and kissed her other cheek and then Alex’s. Alex bounced her in his arms and looked at his husband.

“I couldn’t ask for anything better.” Alex beamed, and Henry smiled warmly before going in to press their lips together.

“I could think of one thing.”

“What’s that?” Alex furrowed his brow.

“You’ll have to find me in the bedroom.” Henry winked, and Alex gasped and covered the baby’s ears dramatically.

“Not in front of the child, Henry!”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything!” He quipped back. Alex laughed, and followed after him.

“You’re gonna have to rock her to sleep beforehand though cause if you think I’m getting up half way through, you’ve got another thing coming.” He proclaimed.

“You got it, love.” Henry said, taking the baby and going into her nursery. Alex followed after the two people who are worth fighting through all his struggles for. He wouldn’t know where he’d be without Henry, but most importantly now, their daughter.

The End.