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Chapter Text

It was still dark when he woke up. No, he didn’t wake up—he was awakened by the small dog that wanted to leave the room. Fine! He was going… It was too early, but Jiang Cheng had a good night—well, a few good hours—of sleep, and he felt rested and ready to face the new day.

To face breakfast with his guests.

He remembered Jin Ling’s birthday dinner and felt pleased with himself. The last time he saw his nephew before going to his quarters, the boy looked happy, chatting and teasing his friends. He had even gone that extra... one hundred miles and let the “just one meal deal” expand into a slumber party and a second meal. And his nephew’s other uncle was still in Lotus Pier.

It wasn’t a big deal. Really. He had been working on “letting the past go” for the past year, and now he just wanted to punch Wei Wuxian’s face every single time he remembered the shit he said about “paying his debt to the Jiang sect” and “forgetting about the past.” That fucker! Well, he hadn’t made much progress, but unlike what people said, he could control himself—so long as all his buttons weren’t pushed at once. And he could be the better person if he wanted to. Especially if it would make everyone else look stupid.

Jin Ling was happy, and that was worth the minor inconvenience of dealing with Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng had to admit that the other behaved quite well, and it wasn’t at all terrible. It was weird, having Wei Wuxian be civil and reserved, because that was not him. There was still some familiarity lingering in the background, but during dinner, Jiang Cheng confirmed his claim that they were basically strangers now. And that was not a bad thing.

It actually made everything easier.

That person was not his former brother—the one he loved and hated, envied and admired. He was just one of Jin Ling’s numerous uncles, and that label was much lighter. He could tolerate Jin Ling’s other relatives. He had co-parented for years with that snake, after all.

If this became a “once-a-year event,” he was even considering telling embarrassing stories about his nephew in front of his peers—as was his right as guardian. Jin Ling’s other uncle might like to hear funny stories about the kid. Jiang Cheng was sure his sister would have liked that.

“Waff, waff!” The little thing was impatient, and the Jiang sect tapestry was at risk of being ruined.

“I’m awake. Just a second.” He sat up in bed and looked at the white dog, swaying its tail and trying to dig her way out as if nothing had really happened. As if he hadn’t opened his heart to the little animal over a few bottles of wine. It wasn’t much alcohol, and he didn’t even have a hangover, but it was enough to loosen his tongue. The dog was a good listener, and the best part was that she hadn’t judged him last night, wasn’t judging him now, and wasn’t looking at him with pity or disgust. Maybe he really could keep the puppy—but he wouldn’t give Jin Ling or his disciples the satisfaction just yet. He would find out the odds on the current bet and make it so that everyone lost, just so they would learn not to be so nosy.

He lazily fixed his hair because he wasn’t going far—just letting the dog take a little walk.

“Thanks for… you know. Don’t… tell anybody. I’m going to let you go.” It was weird, talking to a dog when he thought about it. He opened the door, but the dog didn’t run away. She went straight for the shrunken form sitting next to the door.

The teenager was leaning against the wall, asleep, all his limbs pulled in close like a ball. And Jiang Cheng was suddenly back in time—back when Jin Ling was around seven and decided he was too big to go to his uncle’s bed after a nightmare, but too scared to stay in his own room, so he slept by Jiang Cheng’s door instead. Jiang Cheng hated that. He never knew where the boy had gotten that terrible idea that only reminded him of another little boy he had once locked outside his old room.

“Jin Ling?” He knelt beside the youth and touched his shoulder. Jin Ling was almost an adult now—he shouldn’t look like a little child anymore. “What are you doing here?”

The teenager opened his eyes, and as soon as he looked at his uncle, the tears started rolling down. Then he hid his face on his knees and apologized.

“I’m sorry, Jiujiu!” The boy sobbed, repeating himself. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, A-Ling.” He didn’t even know what the boy was apologizing for. What the fuck had happened since he went to sleep last night?

“No, it’s not!” Jin Ling looked at his uncle and confessed his terrible fault. “I made you invite him. And that ridiculous ice statue. And you had to meet that rotten corpse because of me! And he… He lied to me too, Jiujiu. I thought he… He acts all smart and cool, but he’s just stupid. And he only thinks the worst things… He doesn’t know anything!”

The boy was talking about Wei Wuxian. And Lan Wangji. And Wen Ning. But mostly Wei Wuxian, because Jin Ling had made it his mission to—not so subtly—bring them back together. Jiang Cheng didn’t blame the boy. He had even indulged him.

It reminded him of his sister and how she would always try to mediate their conversations.

“I know, kid,” he agreed, thinking about what to do next. They were in his private quarters, and it was too early for any servants to be walking around, so he just sat down next to Jin Ling. “I grew up with him. He can fool the rest of the world, but not me.”

A few hours… What the hell had that idiot done in just a few hours to make Jin Ling this upset? Wei Wuxian had a special talent for pissing people off quickly, but Jiang Cheng hadn’t thought he would use it on Yanli’s child. Not on purpose. But his brother was so good at it that sometimes it just happened.

He sat there and waited. The teenager kept sobbing for a while, but he took the dog and placed her on his lap. Petting her did a better job of placating Jin Ling than anything Jiang Cheng could have said.

“I’m sorry,” the boy sniffled again and hugged the dog, taking his time before continuing. Somehow, Jiang Cheng knew this was a different apology than before. “I came to your room last night. I wanted to thank you for… I’m sorry, Jiujiu. I know I shouldn’t have listened, but I did, and… I’m sorry.”

That was the story of his life. He had kept his mouth shut for two decades, and the first time he opened it, his nephew just had to be there to eavesdrop on everything.

Jiang Cheng had poured out his heart to a dog, but he hadn’t stopped there. Oh no. He had yet to drain two bottles of wine, and the puppy had been such a good listener, her dark eyes so understanding and eager… She wouldn’t tell anyone, right?

But apparently, she hadn’t needed to.

No, it wasn’t enough to make a fool of himself in front of his nephew at Guanyin Temple—he had to unload another pile of emotional baggage on the boy as a birthday gift, as if Jin Ling didn’t already have enough problems being a sect leader so young.

The teenager looked bewildered when his uncle suddenly took the dog from his hands. But… that was fair, Jin Ling thought. He had broken his uncle’s trust. He was a bad person. He didn’t deserve a dog right now. Only trustworthy people deserved dogs.

“We’re moving inside. The dog stays out because I don’t want my tapestry ruined,” Jiang Cheng said, letting the dog go. “And you—stay close and come back here when you’re finished.”

Princess took a good look at her boy and his cub, then left.

She kept all the secrets, but she was happy they had escaped their chests anyway. Humans needed that sometimes.

This time, he covered the room with silence talismans so no one would hear what was said inside. It was a little bit late, but the lesson was learned anyway.

“What were you thinking, listening outside the door? A closed door means it is private! Now I’ll have to put silence talismans around the place because I can’t have any privacy in my own room! I taught you better than that!” he shouted, but was losing the heat in his words as he said them, because there was no meaning behind it. He wasn’t angry because his privacy was violated; he was angry because Jin Ling was hurt, and it was his fault for forgetting that teenagers are well known for snooping around. It would be like blaming rabbits for being rabbits. “Dammit, Jin Ling! You were not supposed to hear any of that!”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he lowered his head and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. His uncle was walking back and forth like a caged animal while Jin Ling kept sitting on the bed. “I’ll never push for you to invite him here ever again. I’m sorry I did it in the first place. I thought you still had something to say… I thought… But I was wrong.”

“You didn’t force me to do anything. I did it because I wanted to. It was important to you, and it was not a big deal for me. It was a bother, but every guest is always a brother. You are giving Wei Wuxian a kind of importance he doesn’t have,” he explained, because at that moment, the weight of his pain was much heavier on Jin Ling than on himself. The youth was imagining a feeling and intensifying it with his compassion, and he was getting something that didn’t match the reality.

Inviting Wei Wuxian to a dinner right after the episode in the Guanyin Temple was a bad joke, but it happened more than a year ago, and the idea wasn’t so absurd anymore. The wound was still there, but now he was used to the pain, so it didn’t hurt as much. Maybe he would even achieve numbness sometime soon.

Jiang Cheng had years and years to deal with what happened, with the knowledge of what he did, and even after knowing the unwanted consequences, he was mostly fine with that. This new piece of truth was still fresh in Jin Ling’s mind. That’s why he was reacting with such intensity. A few months, at most, and Wei Wuxian would be back on the boy’s good side. And it wouldn’t even be something bad, because meeting the man and the juniors was helping Jin Ling with his new role, so Jiang Cheng just had to suck it up and be thankful.

The boys also didn’t need to make enemies with the Chief Cultivator anytime soon.

It was like… well, like when Wei Wuxian’s own secret had been spilled by the Ghost General. Jiang Cheng was devastated by the news, but for Wei Wuxian, it was old news. It happened ages ago. No surprise factor.

As soon as that sense of novelty was gone, Jin Ling would see everything more clearly.

“I can see you are upset, but you don’t have to be. You just found out what happened, but I’ve known it for twenty years. It was my choice, and I didn’t regret it. I’m still learning how to deal with the rest, but if I said it’s ‘okay’ for you to invite him to your birthday dinner, it’s ‘okay’ for you to invite him. It didn’t tear me to pieces… You don’t need to feel sorry for the poor old me. I’m not that weak.”

“I don’t think you are weak!” He looked at his uncle with large eyes that were still filled with tears but also showed his resolve.

“Good. I’d break your legs if you did. Now stop crying.” He cupped Jin Ling’s face with his hand and wiped his tears with his thumbs.

Jin Ling moved his head so his uncle would retract his hands. Having the other be that soft would just make him want to cry harder. He scrubbed the remaining tears on his sleeve.

“He thinks you were stupid enough to go back alone!” he said, outraged.

“I wanted to do it,” Jiang Cheng replied. He wasn’t particularly proud of that episode, but surviving the slaughter of the rest of your family was no less shameful. And no vengeance would ever be enough to alleviate the guilt. “But he held me back when I tried.” He didn’t even come up with an elaborate lie after that. He didn’t have to say anything because the recent events were right there, providing him with the perfect cover. To be truthful, he didn’t even think he would have the nerve to lie if he had to. It was really a blessing that his brother had already decided how things happened and didn’t ask anything.

“Even so,” he mumbled. That explanation wasn’t good enough. If his uncle was supposed to guess Wei Wuxian and his co-conspirators’ lie about the golden core, the first was also supposed to see through his uncle's erratic act.

“Wait a second… How do you know that? Jin Ling, how do you know what Wei Wuxian thinks happened?”

“Because I…” he looked at the floor and bit his bottom lip. “Don’t get mad, jiujiu. I didn’t tell him anything, but I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I went to his room and asked him about the attack,” Jin Ling explained. He had heard outside his uncle's room until he was finished and didn’t have the courage to announce his presence. Then he went back to his room and tried to sleep, but he was too shaken by what he heard, so he tried something else.

“You went to his guest room, out of the blue, in the middle of the night to ask a very specific question. It isn’t suspicious at all!” he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“I got more finesse than that!” he reacted to being chastised. Sure, he was yelling loudly at Wei Wuxian and barking at Hanguang-Jun when he tried to intervene at the end, and he might have banished both from Lotus Pier, but he was almost calm when he knocked on the door. He was upset, but he still wanted to hear his other uncle's version of everything, because maybe it was another misunderstanding. Now he knew both brothers had done the same sacrifice for each other, but none of them knew about it back then, and it led them to different paths. Maybe there was something else hidden. Some deeper truth. Maybe they could still fix things, but Jin Ling didn’t like what he heard, so he decided Wei Wuxian was no good. “And he can suspect all he wants. It will make him crazy. Not having the answer. Knowing there is a piece of truth that doesn’t belong to him.”

Ignorance. Jiang Cheng knew that place very well. He lived there for years, thinking it was his brother who didn’t know the whole story. And never being able to tell, because he never wanted Wei Wuxian to stay over a debt he had to pay or even over the promise he made to his parents. He wanted the other to choose him because of him. He wondered if it would have been different if both hadn't upheld their pieces of awareness back then.

He still mused over sharing his piece of truth, but it wouldn’t matter. It never did. And worse than that, it would sound like an excuse. Or it would look like he was still trying to compete for first place, and he was so over competing with Wei Wuxian.

The worst case: Wei Wuxian would decide he still had a debt to pay, and the man would be back in his life out of obligation.

He was tired of the competition, but now he had already dragged Jin Ling with him to the battlefield, and he would have to take the boy out with him too. So he would have to explain what happened to the boy and let him vent his feelings. That was his plan, at least. Jin Ling was easy to anger, but he was different from his uncle and didn’t build up on his hate.

That was the way to go. Then, time would do the rest.

“You must think I’m a hypocrite.”

“Because you didn’t tell him too?”

“I did tell him! The first thing I did when I woke up was telling him I didn’t have a golden core anymore. If I had told him how I got captured, he would have done something stupid. Well… He did something stupid anyway, so it didn’t work,” he pondered. His nephew surely remembered his sorrow and accusations at the temple for him to have done something very similar, but that was completely different. Completely different!

“Why did you do it?” Jin Ling asked.

Jiang Cheng still had trouble admitting it to himself. If he admitted he did it for love, he would have to accept he was rejected… over and over again. Every time his brother chose someone else and twisted the knife a little bit.

He didn’t want to say it out loud, but saying it wouldn’t change anything, really. He was abandoned by his brother. Wei Wuxian left. It was time to admit it. That was the truth of their circumstances, and there was no point trying to deny it anymore.

“He was my brother, and I didn’t want to lose anyone else. I was not thinking about what would be best for the Jiang Sect or anything. I saw the guards, and I was moving before I could think. It wasn’t a big gesture of heroism, it was just a silly child that couldn’t run fast enough to escape.”

His father would have agreed with him, nevertheless. He would also hand the Jiang Sect’s future into Wei Wuxian’s capable hands, and Jiang Cheng would never get rid of that ghost voice in his head.

“I think it was brave.”

“It was useless.”

That was the point: he was tortured and lost his core to save his brother, and Wei Wuxian ended up tortured and without a golden core anyway. All his pain was for nothing. Absolutely nothing—and there was a special kind of agony in that, because it wasn’t only useless, it made everything worse, because it was also misleading. Jiang Cheng never got to know that Wei Wuxian lost his core, and he never got the chance to do anything about it. It also gave Wei Wuxian the opportunity to always be selfless, always be noble, and hide his lack of a golden core.

“My mom’s sacrifice was useless too,” Jin Ling said, his voice small and full of sorrow. More tears followed. Jiang Cheng had to remind himself that Jin Ling was also left behind. They never talked about it, but he could see it in Jin Ling’s need to overcompensate sometimes. Unfortunately, the boy was raised under his influence and inherited many of his signature traits.

Jiang Yanli’s sacrifice wasn’t just useless. It got much worse, because Wei Wuxian lost control, killed many people, and threw himself off the cliff moments later. At the end of the day, Jiang Cheng lost both his siblings, and Jin Ling was left an orphan.

Maybe that was their family’s curse: they couldn’t even try to do good. His father decided to help an orphan… His mother refused to cut off his hand… He distracted the guards, and his sister got in the way of the sword. It all backfired spectacularly.

“Your mom loved you tremendously,” he abandoned his reflections about the past to reassure the boy. “We were living in troubled times, and she tried to fix things.”

“He wastes everything,” Jin Ling breathed. “Both your sacrifices—he just threw them away like they were nothing.”

Yes, he did. Jiang Cheng lost endless nights of sleep wallowing over it while rocking a colicky baby. They were both in pain, but Jin Ling had grown out of it, and there was no way Jiang Cheng would let his nephew fall back into that dark place with him now.

He would have to think harder about it.

It was not easy having a loved one’s sacrifice weighing on your back. It was not easy to honor that. He had barely survived his parents' sacrifice, and even now, knowing what Wei Wuxian did left a bad taste in his mouth. Well… at least he could say Wei Wuxian tried to honor Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s sacrifice.

“He saved you at the Stone Castles for all that you told me. It seems that he is trying to compensate you somehow, and you keep giving him opportunities to do so, brat,” he took the opportunity to chastise the boy’s impulsive behavior once more.

“If you are not careful, you will end up with an amputated limb as repayment,” he warned. It was supposed to be a joke, but Jiang Cheng’s tone was too bitter for that to be funny. “I don’t recommend it.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? That he was just ‘paying a debt to the Jiang Sect’?” Jin Ling wiped his tears and mocked the other man’s voice.

“What are you talking about?”

“Isn’t it obvious, jiujiu? He said that, but he keeps telling stories about when he lived here, and he keeps fishing to find out how you are doing. He is not subtle about it. He even asked me for lotus seeds and spicy oil. And what SiZhui did… You both did that, didn’t you? Why would he tell SiZhui to push me into the water just like he did his brother if it didn’t mean anything?”

“I still don’t get it,” Jiang Cheng said.

“He was lying when he said he was just paying a debt. He did it because you were his brother too. Because he loved you. He still does.” Jin Ling felt he couldn’t stress it enough, so he kept ranting. “He keeps lying about it because he thinks he is no good for you or the Jiang Clan, but I thought that didn’t make sense—that he was just being a coward. And I got it, because you are terrifying… No, you are not terrifying. Well, you are terrifying, but the idea of disappointing you is even more terrifying. I tried to be patient because he is pathetic, and I guessed that was what mom would want me to do, but I won’t do it anymore. He is a shitty brother. He may care for you, but he is not good for you, so he can stay the fuck away—from both of us.”

“Watch your mouth, brat!”

Jin Ling looked defiant at him. He was not going to back down with his words. Yeah, for someone who didn’t want another dog, he ended up with one determined puppy. Two fierce puppies, because the second one chose that moment to dig into the door, trying to go back inside the room.

The younger opened the door to Princess and was back on the edge of the bed, playing with her little paws and telling her how they would join forces from now on to keep that embarrassing brother far away from Pier Lotus. Seriously, his mom was a bad big sister if she hadn't protected her little brother from all the shit Wei Wuxian would drag around him.

Princess agreed excitedly! It goes without saying that she would always protect her purple boy. She just didn’t understand why the yellow boy was so upset. She got sad too when she found out that making some of the guards fall wasn’t enough, but they were together again and the present was more important than past failures.

“Really?”

“She is your dog—it’s her job to protect you. Didn’t you say the same about Fairy?”

“She is not my…” Jiang Cheng wasn’t going to take that bait anymore. “So that’s it. You heard me complain about a bunch of things that happened a long time ago while I was drunk, and you think you should take action because what…? I can’t deal with my own problems and need to be rescued by my nephew? The one whose dippers I changed? Because you, with all the wisdom of your teenage years, know what’s best for me better than I do?” he questioned, giving Jin Ling two seconds to digest all the pieces.

“Becoming the sect leader did go to your head! I know you care, kid, and there is no shame in letting your feelings guide you, but you can’t let them control you. I was just venting. That’s what you do when you drink. Then you go to sleep without the problems you unloaded and wake up the next day with a hangover. I did what I did all those years ago. End of history! It is in the past and it’s over. You won’t get anything good from digging that hole. I forbid you to make any demands or take any retribution on my behalf, because I don’t want to. I don’t want any more retribution than what I already got. It is enough. And on the other matter, Wen Ning was a piece of shit, but at least he told me the truth, and it’s still better to know. And he saved both of us back at the temple, so I’ll just call it even. I don’t intend to be friends with him, and my relationship—or lack thereof—with Wei Wuxian is mine to deal with, not yours. Your relationship with them is your business. I already told you to be careful, but I’m not taking your choice from you. Whatever you decide is fine by me.”

Jin Ling didn’t say anything. He just hugged the dog and looked at the floor. Jiang Cheng thought he had covered all his pitiful drunk speech with this new one, but there was something else—something he was still missing.

“Talk to me, kid. What’s the problem?” Jiang Cheng insisted. The boy still had difficulty organizing and verbalizing his thoughts, and since he also had problems with that process, Jiang Cheng decided some encouragement was needed. “You were happy yesterday with your friends and with your other uncle. I don’t know why that should change because I drank too much, and you heard what you shouldn’t have. It’s ancient history.”

He waited, but Jin Ling didn’t say anything.

“Do you have anything else to ask? Do you…”

“No,” Jin Ling answered. His little talk with Wei Wuxian had covered enough bases before he could get to the aftermath of the attack, and despite Wei Wuxian’s bad memory, the teenager didn’t want to hear it twice. And he would never make his uncle repeat it just to fill a few gaps.

“So, what is it?” Jiang Cheng insisted.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it? Your ‘lonely miserable life’…” he asked after spending some time searching for the right words. Jin Ling had only recently realized that his uncle was not a magical creature who popped into this world all grown up, fully dressed, Zidian in hand and ready to fight. He was only human—flawed and vulnerable. He lost so much, but he had always been there for Jin Ling. He didn’t know his mom, or his dad, and he was still getting to know—and maybe care for—Wei Wuxian, but the boy was thankful he had his uncle, and he felt the stupid tears again because it hurt him knowing not only that his uncle was very close to dying, but that he would have chosen death.

“No, it wasn’t,” Jiang Cheng said as he sat next to the distressed teenager, half-hugging him with one arm and pulling him close. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Jin Ling hugged his uncle back, wrapping his arms around him so that the other couldn’t see his face. The dog moved to the bed because Jin Ling’s new position wasn’t a good one for her to stay on his lap.

“No, you shouldn’t! What if your people heard you? They would be very disappointed, because they try hard to please you. And the Pier Lotus you rebuilt is their home. People are happy living here. I am happy here. You are part of that and…”

“I know, kid,” Jiang Cheng said, petting the teenager’s hair, because he knew how fortunate he was despite everything. No one could go through life without something happening to them, and, considering the war that befell his generation, Jiang Cheng had to admit that he had done fine.

Most people would take “fine” as a blessing. Only an over-competitive person like him could see “fine” as a form of tragedy, and he was well aware of that. Nothing has ever been good enough, because he was never good enough—and he projected that onto everything else. He poisoned everything else with his inadequacy.

“Do you?” Jin Ling insisted, because his uncle was being dumb.

“Yes, I do. Now listen to me… I’ve always been like this. Nothing is ever good enough. I’ve always felt slightly dissatisfied… with everything. This is all on me—not on you or anyone else.”

Jiang Cheng remembered his sweet sister telling stories about how Wei Wuxian was born with a smile on his face and that he would always be happy, no matter what. There were no such stories about him. If anything, he was born crying and yelling at the top of his lungs—and he never stopped. Living was a painful experience.

“So you’re just going to give up like that? You always yell at me and at your disciples when we make a mistake, and you push us to get better at our forms every time. You should follow your own advice and try to get better too,” Jin Ling said earnestly, hesitating as if he understood the difficulty of what he was asking.

Jiang Cheng looked back at him. He was born in pain and carried that pain with him because it was part of who he was—and he couldn’t really recognize himself without it. But was pain all he really had left? Couldn’t he really go on without it?

“Okay,” he agreed.

“Okay?”

“Yes. Now go wash your face because we have a very pleasant breakfast to attend—with your guests—and there’s no way I’m doing it alone.”

“About that…” Jin Ling began, recounting the last part of his not-so-civilized conversation with Wei Wuxian and how he had banned the two guests.

“Finesse,” his nephew said.

The three boys were waiting outside the room, and all the laughter from the night before was gone, replaced by wary smiles. Jin Ling’s treat came through somehow because there was no sign of Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji.

Lan SiZhui explained that they had left earlier, and it was clear he knew more—if only by the way he kept avoiding eye contact with the older sect leader present—but there was no reason to press the boy.

Jin Ling was still hugging the little dog—just in case he needed help—and Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen followed alongside him, making small talk and commenting on the pet.

Lan SiZhui stayed behind with Jiang Cheng and used the opportunity to give him the second part of the message: Wei Wuxian would like to talk with the Jiang Sect Leader. He would be waiting in the city until that evening.

Great. That will be fun.

Chapter Text

The sounds of the river.

Wei Wuxian thought he would never be swaddled by that sweet melody again… and it wasn’t going to happen tonight because he couldn’t sleep. He still didn’t believe he was at Lotus Pier and could stay for the night.

Most of the time, he tried not to think about the past, but there was no way he wouldn’t remember it now. The arduous training, the tasty food, the loud laughs, the hot afternoons by the river, the juicy watermelons… it was all coming back to him and it was almost too much. He wanted to run away, but he wouldn’t dare to do it because he didn’t know when he would be allowed to come back—or if he ever would.

There was a time when he thought he would never leave that place. He thought there was not a force that could keep him away. He loved that land, he loved its people, and most of all, he loved his family. He was sure his parents lived in him somehow, but they were a distant shadow. The Jiangs… they were the family he had gotten to know and grew up to care for.

Jiang Yanli was going to marry someday, and she would have to leave, but not him. He would stay by his brother's side forever. He thought that was his place on earth.

How silly of him.

He remembered throwing Jiang Cheng into the river on his brother’s ninth birthday. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian had another bad argument, and the younger boy absorbed all the tension and malaise like the sponge he was. Yanli had tried cheering him up with food, but it didn’t work, so it was Wei Wuxian’s time to try and fix it with his mischief.

It happened every year after that, in different ways, but it would always end up with Jiang Cheng fuming, Wei Wuxian laughing, and both boys soaking wet, going back inside to change before they got into trouble.

It would go on forever, and Wei Wuxian was sure his kids and his brother’s kids would do the same someday. Not because they had to cover for the mess the adults around them were making, but because it was fun.

It was a long time ago, but that night his ward had pushed his nephew into the river, and he got a small taste of what it would have been like. It was bittersweet, like any other lost dream.

Only now it came to him that he couldn’t remember the last time it happened—the last time he played games with his brother. If only he knew it would be the last time, he would have made it more memorable. There was so much he couldn’t remember.

He heard someone at the door. If it was too much for him to spend the night there, maybe it was too much for Jiang Cheng having him there, and the latter decided to end their misery. He still wanted to run away but hadn't done it yet because Jin Ling would be disappointed, and he didn’t have the heart to disappoint the boy.

Lan Wangji was awake past his curfew as a silent company for his husband's remembrance, and he was the one who opened the door for the teenager, who made a small courtesy gesture and entered the room:

“Jin Ling? Is something wrong?” Wei Wuxian was beside his husband in a second.

“Can we talk?” the boy glanced at Lan Wangji. “In private.”

“I guess…” Wei Wuxian looked at how not-happy the boy looked.

“I’ll wait outside.”

They sat at the table, and Wei Wuxian was sure that the teenager was having second thoughts about him now—about his status as his uncle. Almost uncle, he wasn’t sure. It was all fun and games, but now things were getting serious. Now he was being weighed, he was being measured, and he didn’t know if he would be enough.

He went on many night hunts with the boy and the other juniors the past year, and Yanli’s kid gave him the opportunity to get closer to him. He realized soon how easy it was to get the boy’s attention by talking about his mom, his grandparents, and – after a few tries and some caution – even his uncle.

It didn’t take long for Wei Wuxian to realize how lonely Jin Ling was too. His clan was huge, but his close family was very small, so he couldn’t blame the boy when he started trying to bring his uncles together. Not when Wei Wuxian was the one who told stories about how Yanli was the glue that kept them from falling apart.

Jin Ling spent a lot of time and dedicated a lot of effort arranging that small dinner. He imagined it wasn’t easy convincing Jiang Cheng to accept him at his precious Lotus Pier, but Jin Ling got it done and got all his friends on board with his idea. Now he could understand how the boy ended up being so spoiled because it was impossible to say ‘no’ to him when he got you tangled in his net. It was the Jin blood in him.

However, it had gone too far because now Jin Ling was not laughing anymore. He looked cautious and low-spirited. Nothing like the boy from the dinner.

Maybe staying hadn’t been a good idea at all. Maybe he shouldn’t have had Lan SiZhui pushing Jin Ling into the river.

It was too much, too fast.

The boy was trying hard to remain calm and composed as he asked his questions and listened to the answers. He wanted to know how Lotus Pier used to be. What had changed? He asked about being thrown into the river, about how it used to be between the three siblings. Stories Wei Wuxian was sure he had already told, but Jin Ling wanted to make sure. He wanted to double-check them. He wanted to look Wei Wuxian in the eye and see if he could believe him.

He still remembered when he lost Jiang Cheng’s trust. The other didn’t know what was happening, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t really tell, so he pushed his brother away to protect the secret. He knew he was breaking his brother's heart when he suggested he could just defect from the Jiang Sect, as if it were a small thing for him, but he was also destroyed by the idea. He didn’t want to leave; he had to! It was the right thing because he couldn’t just abandon those innocent people, and he also couldn’t endanger his family.

One more lie among all the other lies he had told, each one taking them further apart from each other, and if Jin Ling was being cautious now, well, he couldn’t blame him.

Jin Ling asked about the attack, and then they were talking about how Jiang Cheng lost his core and how the transfer was arranged. The youth's displeasure with the short answer was revealed in how tightly he pressed his hand into a fist and in his insistence at trying to make sense of what happened. Wei Wuxian didn’t have to ask Jiang Cheng why he came back because he knew the answer. He wanted his revenge… he wanted his parents’ bodies. He said it himself the night before. Wei Wuxian even confessed his fault in everything because he was supposed to take care of his brother, but he left him alone.

He could see that his answer was not enough for Jin Ling, but he couldn’t change the past.

The teenager wanted to get somewhere. He had a line of questioning. He was putting together pieces to form an image. Wei Wuxian just couldn’t anticipate exactly what it was because none of that was new information.

He felt Jin Ling’s judging eyes on him and he was not particularly proud of all the lying he did and all the trouble he caused Wen Qing and Wen Ning to get the core transfer done, but there was nothing else for him to do. Watching his brother die was not an option and he would never regret it! How couldn’t the boy understand that? He knew how much the kid loved his uncle too.

“You knew uncle would never agree with it, but you did it anyway.”

“He could complain all he wanted as long as he was alive to do it.” He treasured their relationship but saving Jiang Cheng’s life was more important.

“You said it, but you were not planning to be there to deal with it, were you? You vanished very fast after… You were not there to deal with anything at all.”

No, he didn’t stay. Not in the past, nor when he was given another chance. Not like he promised, and the echoes of his broken vow would follow him forever. But he had lost the right to stay when he left for the first time, hadn't he?

“Your uncle was not supposed to ever know, but after… there was nothing I could do. I could only tell Jiang Cheng not to keep it in his heart.”

Jin Ling held back a laugh. “Humm… You do realize you asked the water not to be wet, right?”

“What else could I have done?” he exhaled. Yes, he knew it, but there was no easy solution. What was done, was done and there was nothing else to say.

“I don’t know,” Jin Ling crossed his arms. “You’re the shameless ingenious one. You could have created a forgetting array, kidnapped uncle, and used it on him without his consent. A soul soothing song might work as well. Being creative is your domain. It’s not like you haven’t found an unorthodox way to get what you wanted before… And you are not known to stay put and do nothing.”

Jin Ling painted it as clear as he could, because Wei Wuxian was not going to get it otherwise: kidnapping was bad. Playing music with the power to mess with somebody else's mind was bad. Doing something without the other person's consent was bad. It wasn’t about what he could do, it was about what he did. And if he had asked, if he had told something all those years ago, his uncle’s sacrifice wouldn’t have been wasted.

Except, Wei Wuxian looked in another direction and saw only red flags. There was something wrong, he knew it! That was his life pattern now: he would have some quiet time just so he could get used to it and then the ground would crumble under his feet. He was happy with his new life for some time now, which means shit was about to happen… shit was definitely already happening.

“Why are you…? Is anything wrong with Ji…” Wei Wuxian was jumping from one point to the other very fast. Jiang Cheng would never allow him back in Pier Lotus if something wasn’t very wrong. Like… checking squares-of-a-bucket-list wrong. For Jin Ling to blame him for not being there to deal with the result of his deeds, there must have been a nasty consequence of the revelation and it was something new, because if it was anything old, he would have known about it by now. Jin Ling would have told him. The teenager could be very manipulative to get what he wanted, but he was not a good liar and until that night he was not being hostile with Wei Wuxian. Until that night, he would have asked for help if he needed it. What if knowing the truth left Jiang Cheng unbalanced? Who was he fooling… Of course, knowing the truth left him unbalanced! And for a cultivator, being unbalanced could be dangerous.

He didn’t have time to think about all the repercussions of the transplant in the great mess that was his past life. The procedure had never been done before and if something was wrong, there was no medic with experience to deal with the problem. What if the core was no longer aligned properly? What if it was being rejected now that Jiang Cheng knew it wasn’t his?

“No! You don’t get to ask about him! You didn’t even reprimand Wen Ning for revealing the secret and I’m starting to think that maybe you… Do you agree with what he said?”

Wei Wuxian’s growing anxiety heard a ‘yes’ in the boy’s refusal to talk about it. There was something wrong.

“I don’t know what Wen Ning said. I didn’t even know he had said anything until…” he said without much care. He was not happy with Wen Ning when he found out what he did and he would have yelled at him for telling if he was there at the moment, but he wasn’t and the moment was lost. Everything happened so fast and Chifeng-Zun’s Fierce Corpse attacked them and there was no time and that really didn’t matter. If his brother were dying, he didn’t have time to lose admonishing Wen Ning now. It was not important. And it was Wen Ning… he couldn’t have said something so bad anyway. “You have to tell me what is wrong. I can…”

“YOU can do nothing. You don’t even get to ask. I don’t believe you anymore. You care so fucking much that you never fucking mind asking that fucker Wen Dog what he fucking said!”

“Jin Rulan! Watch your language!”

“I would be sorry for my language, but I didn’t have a mother or a father to educate me properly and we know why, don’t we?” It was terrifying how perfectly the teenager could mimic his uncle’s mocking tone. He had also learned with his uncle how to hit a person where it would hurt the most. “And do not call me by that stupid name! I hate that name! My mom would be alive if she didn’t… You think you are so smart, but you don’t know anything. You don’t fucking know anything, and you just assume the worst!”

“Lower your voice,” said Lan Wangji going back inside.

“With all the respect, Hanguang-Jun, no one asked you! And don’t you dare use that fucking spell on me ever again,” Jin Ling yelled back, enunciating each word as a challenge.

“He is not doing that,” Wei Wuxian said and pleaded with his husband not to do anything. The teenager was angry enough to mutilate his mouth to yell a bit more if he was silenced now, so Wei Wuxian was praying to all the deities he knew his husband had better judgment than to try the spell.

“He needs to calm himself.”

“And you need to shut your biased mouth! Isn’t lying forbidden, Hanguang-Jun? Your spouse is a fucking liar and you won’t do anything about it. The Wen Dog is a fucking liar and you let him live on your mountain too. You don’t have the high ground to judge anyone anymore, so stay out of it. This is a family matter and for all I know, you are the very least person I would listen to about it!”

“Enough!” yelled Wei Wuxian, something red flickering in his eyes.

The teenager smiled, but it looked wicked on his face. He got what he wanted. And all it took was a push in the right direction. What a surprise…

“I knew you would defend THEM, and I wasn’t wrong.”

“You came here with your mind already made. There was no right answer for me to give you.”

“No, I came here to give you the chance to change my mind, but you are bad for this family and you should stay away. From both of us.”

“Jin Ling…”

“Wei Ying, we should go,” Lan Wangji was holding him by the arm and trying to move him.

“Yes, you should. You were invited here because of me, so now you are not welcome anymore. Not here, nor in Lanling.”

Jin Ling left with that declaration and didn’t wait to see what the other two would do. He made his way back with hot tears on his face, but he didn’t go to his room. He also didn’t see Lan SiZhui snooping around or walking to the other two after he left.

They were not at Cloud Recesses and there was no written rule against it.

Chapter Text

That’s what he got for going that extra mile and trying to… Fuck! He didn’t even know what he was trying to do anymore. The juniors had it all planned, and he ruined their plan. It was just a bad idea having Wei Wuxian there for the night.

He thought he was doing it for Jin Ling, because the boy accepted his former brother and he had lost enough family already, but deep down Jiang Chong just wanted to prove that he could do it. That he wasn’t bothered by Wei Wuxian’s presence anymore.

That wasn’t the case and his silly drunk confession just proved that.

He didn’t go immediately to the city. He finished one or two letters, oversaw the disciples' training on the field, had lunch with the guests still at his house and just after that he decided he couldn’t delay it any longer.

On his way to the city, he wondered again what the fuck was he doing. He had things to do. He could have just ignored Lan SiZhui’s message, like he should have ignored the little voice in his head telling him to invite Wei Wiccan to spend the night. He didn’t own the other man anything… except he kind of did. He owed him an explanation this time. Wei Wuxian got kicked out in the middle of the night and Jiang Cheng still didn’t know… Jin Ling said he didn’t say anything, but the kid obviously did, and Jing Cheng had to check the extent of the damage, if only to deny everything.

Jin Ling tends to talk too much when he gets upset. He doesn’t always make sense, but the kid sure talks a lot. He even said… He said it wasn’t just a debt. He said there was more in what Wei Wuxian did and Jiang Cheng was inclined to test that theory. He was too overwhelmed by the revelation about his core to dispute anything said that night, but now, after putting some distance, it didn’t make any sense.

Wei Wuxian had all opportunities to tell what he had done in the past. To redeem the promissory letter he had with the Jiang Clan. What good was it for him to pay for his debt if he kept a secret about it? To let his creditor still hold the bill?

His former brother was a lot off things, but stupid was not one of them. If he wanted they to really part ways back there, that would be the way to go.

On the other hand, that could still translate the present situation of their relationship. It wasn’t a payment to begin with, but it turned out becoming one, so they could just move apart from each other because whatever feeling Wei Wuxian had towards Jiang Cheng just wasn’t there anymore in his second life.

It was difficult to tell.

Deep down, even Jiang Cheng would have to admit his rationalization about Wei Wuxian being only one of Jin Ling’s uncles was only that: a nicer explanation than being abandoned again.

It still got him mad… the way Wei Wuxian casually ended their relationship as if it was a transaction. They were family! - at least he thought they were-. There was never a debt to offset. The only thing Jiang Cheng ever wanted was for his brother to be by his side. To fulfill his promise. However, he would have to do it willingly. Out of his own volition and not to compensate for anything. That’s the reason he never told what happened. He didn’t want to hurt his brother, sure, but he also didn’t want him forever linked to him out of gratitude or trying to compensate for something. He never wanted their relationship to have that kind of imbalance.

Yet, he ended up charging everything Wei Wuxian owned to the Jiang Sect, even the rice the small hungry child ate. That’s how stingy he was. How pathetic he became.

It wasn’t difficult finding the inn.

For all Lan Wangji’s lack of expression, it was pretty clear he was not happy, but he waited outside the room once again.

Well, he could go suck it. Jiang Cheng wasn’t happy being there too, but now he found himself sat in a small table, being served tea he was not planning on drinking by his former brother that asked to talk to him, but decided to go mute:

“I heard you got a new dog” said Wei Wuxian finally after tasting the tea he poured in both cups.

Small talk, really? He was called as it was something important and now Wei Wuxian wanted to catch up with all the new gossip from Pier Lotus? He didn’t have time for that.  

“Not my dog. Nor your business”.

“It’s good. You getting a new dog. You’ve always liked dogs.”

“And now that I have your approval I can finally get one” he replied in automatic mode. Contentment and rage were his default answers to Wei Wuxian, and after the acid words came out of his mouth, he remembered that was not what he wanted and rubbed the side of his temple. “You are making it really hard for me. I don’t want to fight, but your condescending tone isn’t helping. Why don’t you say whatever you have to say so we end this fast?”

“I’m not…” he tried to explain, but just exhaled. “I don’t know how to speak to you anymore… hum, Sect Leader Jiang.”

“You should have thought about it before you asked to speak to me” he retorted, but then backed away. He wasn’t getting anywhere if he kept hitting that hard. “I don’t know who you are anymore either. Maybe we should start with that and stop any assumptions and liberties” he confessed. He didn’t think he knew who Wei Wuxian was even before it all happened.

“Are we strangers now, then?”

The way Wei Wuxian’s face contorted a little when he enunciated the phrase didn’t go unnoticed.

“Almost two decades is a long time. Way more time than the few years we lived together. How long was it? Six… seven years?” he said with disdain to diminish the relevance of their time together.

“I was nine years old when your father... But I guess you are right” Wei Wuxian agreed, but his first wavering didn’t go unnoticed. What he really wanted to say was that it hasn’t been that much time for him.  He still would wake up sometimes and need a minute to realize what the hell he was doing in Cloud Recesses. To remember his sister was dead. That his nephew was all grown up. That his adopted son was all grown up too. That he didn’t have a brother anymore.

“Is Jin Ling ok? He was pretty distressed last night.”

“Jin Ling is fine. He seems all grown up, but he is still a moody teenager, and everything is full of drama for him. He will be just fine. Anything else?”

“I know you don’t want me here and I would have stayed away, but Jin Ling asked, and I got the invitation with your handwriting. I know it was for Jin Ling’s sake and I only accepted because of him too. I hope you know I wouldn’t come back here if it wasn’t for that.”

“Sure. It’s not like there would be another motive for you to come back.”

There was too much bitterness on his line for it to be the remark of a stranger and Wei Wuxian got the glimpse of that and got confused. Hadn’t Jiang Cheng just reminded him nothing else binds them anymore? Why was he...

“Jiang Cheng?” but before he could continue, the other man cut him.

“I got what you said” he cleared his throat. “The kid is half Jiang, half Jin. He will attempt the impossible by manipulating everybody around him. Your invitation was legit.”

“What happened then?”

He laughed. Wei Wuxian was thinking it was some kind of trap. That Jiang Cheng was trying to get him into a fight and Jin Ling was his new weapon. That Jiang Cheng wanted to go back to the fight in the Ancient Hall. And again, his former brother wasn’t all too wrong to imagine that, because as long as he could be the better person when he wanted to, it didn’t happen very often.

“You really do think the worst of me, don’t you?”

“I just want to understand,” Wei Wuxian insisted. He remembered Jin Ling’s line the night before and now he was hearing that again. The teenager surely talked to his uncle and said that and now Jiang Cheng was only agreeing with Jin Ling him, but Wei Wuxian was still lost. He never judged Jiang Cheng. Maybe for one second… but he knew he had his motives for everything or he was lied to and manipulated. Even now, he didn’t blame him for wanting to protect Jin Ling.

“You are right, it was me” he said and waited a few moments to see Wei Wuxian’s face change from utter surprise, to painful disappointment and finally to acceptance. He made the full journey quickly, but at least Jiang Cheng could see he wasn’t expecting that answer after all.

“I was in my room last and I drank, because it is not forbidden in Pier Lotus yet, and I remembered some moments of the past… out loud. Jin Ling overheard what I said from outside my door. No one was supposed to be near. I don’t even know what the hell the brat was doing there.”

“He wanted to show your new dog to the boys” Wei Wuxian explained. That was a piece of information he had to add. His adopted son showed up after Jin Ling left and told what he knew…  that’s when Wei Wuxian asked the teenager to deliver his message before he left. Lan SiZhui didn’t know what happened, but he knew there was something wrong and followed Jin Ling. “SiZhui said Jin Ling left to take the dog and show it to them, but he came back empty handed, said he didn’t find the puppy and went straight to his bed.”

“It wasn’t on purpose, but it was me anyway, so you were right to blame me. I ruined my nephew’s birthday and you were once again the innocent victim of my impulsive behavior. Would you accept my sincere apology?” He closed his hands in front of him and made a small, mostly mocking bow.

“I didn’t bla…”

“Yes, you did. But you don’t need to worry, because I’m aware of the situation this time and I’m fixing it while it can be fixed. I already talked to the brat. I raised him, but the boy is Yanli’s kid, he isn’t fiscally capable of holding a grunge properly. He would be back on your orbit in no time.”

“Wait a second, were you drunk talking to your dog?” he asked, out of the blue because that was the most important and random information he got linking the dots of Jiang Cheng’s clarification.

“Not my dog. Nor your business” he flushed. The familiarity slapped him right on his face. All his ‘we are strangers’ forgotten for a second.

“You are right. That’s not my business. I’m sorry” Wei Wuxian tried very hard to keep himself from smiling, but it wasn’t working. The image of fearful Sandu Shengshou, cheeks flushed pink with wine, talking with a small dog was already in his mind and it would live there, rent free, forever.

Wei Wuxian cleaned his throat and continued.

“When Jin Ling went to my room yesterday he was so pissed at me. He reminded so much of his mother when she was protecting...” he couldn’t finish but forced a small smile to accompany the memory anyway. It was the first time he was at the receiving side of Yanli’s particular kind of anger. “She was fiercely loyal and so is he.”

He swallowed hard and the sect leader waited because the other wasn’t finished yet. When Wei Wuxian continued, he sounded defeated

“He is your kid, Jiang Cheng. Nothing related to you is a small matter to him.”

Jin Zixuan was probably laughing at him now. Wei Wuxian gave the peacock such a hard time because he was not even close to being good enough to be Jiang Yanli’s spouse, and now the peacock’s kid had deserted him because he wasn’t good enough to be Jiang Cheng’s brother.

Jiang Cheng’s lips twisted “What the hell does it mean?” Wei Wuxian’s tone reminded him of another conversation they had years ago. One that ended with them choosing different sides and parting ways. He was going to do it again. He was going to abandon Jin Ling too after the kid tried so hard to please him. Jiang Cheng was afraid it might happen someday, but he didn’t think Wei Wuxian would dare do that it with Yanli’s kid. Maybe they were truly strangers, because he didn’t know the other man one bit.

“You spend the entire year pestering the kid to get his attention and now that he got attached he is suddenly my kid? Just mine? Am I to clean your mess again? Has he bored you already? Are you planning on walking away from him too?  Do you have any idea of….”

“I walked right into an ambush just to get to meet him in case you forgot!  Why would I leave now?  I’ll be as close as he allows me for as long as he wants me near. He is the one cutting me off, because he is your kid and I’m no good for you” he raised his voice.

“Luckily, you don’t have to be my brother to be his uncle. I’ll talk to the kid and you just do your part and don’t fuck this up.”

“What did he heard you…?” it was a long shot, but he had to ask.

“Nothing that I’d like to discuss with you, obviously. We are done here. Have a nice trip back to… whatever.”

Jiang Cheng stoop up and Wei Wuxian did the same.

“Wait…”

When Jiang Cheng went for the door, Wei Wuxian grabbed his wrist, only to get struck by Zidian the second he touched the other.

“Ouch!” he flinched.

“What the hell…” he looked back at the other man, because the way he tried to grab him was not right.  “Were you trying to feel my pulse just now?”

“As I said…” he looked at the flood, rubbing his hurt hand and admitting his guilt before looking back at the other’s eyes. “Jin Ling was very upset last night. Nothing related to you is a small matter for him.”

“And because Jin Ling is upset you came to the conclusion I am sick? And that I need your help? Are you going to save me against my will again? Have you learned nothing at all?” Jiang Cheng hissed. He wondered when he became some kind of useless damsel in distress that inspired others to be that protective. First, Jin Ling was out in the late hours of the night to confront Wei Wuxian about something that didn’t really matter and that apparently gave Wei Wuxian the right to get worried over nothing and to make his own scene over that.

“Are you sick?” he insisted. “Because if there is anything wrong I can…”

The earnest anguish in the other man’s eyes just made Jiang Cheng boil hotter. How dare Wei Wuxian look at him like that after all he has done? After all both of them had done to each other?

“Are you possessed? You don’t get to leave and then ask about your former sect leader’s health. This is sensitive information.”

“Just answer the question, Jiang Cheng. If you are fine, it’s not a big deal. I just want to help.”

“The last time I told you anything, I was fooled around blindfolded and cut open like a guinea pig, so thanks, but no thanks. I’m not telling you anything ever again. You are not… You defected years ago. You can stay the fucking out of the Jiang Sect business.”

“I promised your parents I would take c…”

“And you already paid your debt. One limb is enough. It was in your past life, remember? It doesn’t matter. You can go and live your new life with your new sect for all I care. You've been doing it since you came back anyway. Do not look back now.”

“That’s not…” he started softly but was interrupted.

“You are fucking hilarious! If you think I’m that fragile, that I can drop dead any minute, how in good conscience could you let the Jian Sect in my pathetic hands all those years ago to go save your precious…? How could you trust my father's legacy… It doesn’t matter. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been alone for almost two decades and I managed to survive quite well without you to save me.” - he still wanted his brother by his side, but he had to manage without him because there were people depending on him and he had his baby nephew that never asked for any of that.

Wei Wuxian got quiet, but Jiang Cheng could see he wanted to say something, he just needed a little push and pushing people was Jiang Cheng’s specialty. Wasn’t his weapon real power to reveal the truth?

“I find your sudden concern for my wellbeing quite odd, really, but then I remembered what that brat told me” the mention got Wei Wuxian wary. “What? You didn’t think he only talked nonsense with you, right?”

He crossed his arms and looked at the other. He wanted to see how he would resonate and maybe find a weak spot.

“Jin Ling told me you are not doing so well yourself, letting the past behind you because you keep going back to Pier Lotus in your stories. He even suggested the whole golden core transfer… That it wasn’t just a repayment to the Jiang Sect and that you actually cared about your crippled little brother and it got me wondering. Why would you say something so fucking cruel if that wasn’t true? Just to get rid of annoying me? I was supposed to be the one with a bad mouth and worse personality and you were the great, selfless person. So… What is it?”

Wei Wuxian breathed out. He got to the same crossroad when he was talking to Jin Ling.

“I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I wanted to make things easier for you.”

“How so? How you being a douchebag would make things easy for me? Please, enlighten me” the answer just got him more pissed, because Wei Wuxian did the opposite of making things easy for him. It was like being punched on the stomach… he couldn’t even breath for a moment.

“How was I a douchebag? You didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. You told me to get out and never come back, but Wen Ning had to open his big mouth and tell you… I didn’t want you to feel guilty or that you own me anything, so I set you free. I told you to forget it. I told you not to keep it in your heart… to let go. That’s what you wanted, and I gave it to you.”

“Do you still think you know what I want?”

“How could I not? You are a very loud person.”

“Is that so?” Jiang Cheng laughed again. Bitter. “I remember it quite differently. I remember how I was pathetically crying over a child’s promise that was only important to me, because you never intended to keep it... and then I saw you holding your precious spouse hand and I heard was you telling me nothing else matter, because it is all in the past, so you were just throwing it all away to start brand new and do it right this time around, because everything in your past life was just wrong and unworthy. And then you put a price tag on everything. Things that were not for sale! The Jiangs were just a step in the ladder you climbed, and Pier Lotus was just a place where you slept and eat... Not better than a inn. You tossed a coin and you left. But let me tell you, that sad part of your later life you choose to let behind and just forget,  that part is very real and very important to me.”

“I didn’t do it! That’s what you… I was only talking about the golden core, not everything else! I wanted to come back. I wanted to visit Pier Lotus but it is your home and I was in no position to make any demands. Not after everything… ”

“No position to make demands… Like you were not in the position to make any demand about my health, but you did it anyway? Like you were in no position to ask for a reunion with me but you did it anyway? And how was I supposed to know what you wanted deep inside, hum? Have you ever told me anything? Because you acted like you wanted to leave even before you defected. You kept drinking and avoiding me and it only took seventeen years and that fierce corpse of yours for me to know the reason.”

Jiang Cheng had finished his offensive and they were both bleeding. His old wound was once more exposed and he got to know his brother didn’t leave their family totally unharmed and he had yet to think what he would do with that information.

But it wasn’t over yet. It was time for Wei Wuxian’s counter-attack because there was that piece of information he got his husband to tell him the other night. He was unconscious and didn’t hear what Wen Ning said, but Lan Wangji was there too.

“What We Ning said to you…”

“Just shut it! I don’t want to hear.”

“What he said isn’t true” he kept going over the other’s protest. “I never thought you couldn’t measure me. You were better than me in many ways. He didn’t know you like I did. You were the best option for the Jiang Sect”

“Sure. And you didn’t think you, the all mighty Wei Wuxian, could live a remarkable life even without a core, but I, the feeble Jiang Wanyin, would be useless, and unfit to rule without one. That doesn’t say anything about how little you thought of me… at all!”

“You said it yourself! You said you wouldn’t have me saving you if you couldn’t get your revanche! You said you wanted to…” he didn’t end the sentence.

“So I basically asked to be lied to, drugged and turned into an abomination with a stolen golden core, is that what you are saying?” he replied with anger and contempt. “I was a kid that had just been tortured after losing his parents and watching his house burn. What were you expecting? I didn’t have any time to process anything. And if I had died…”

“No! Don’t you dare say it! I wouldn’t let it happen!”

“Why do you think you had any control over what happened? How many people died that day, hum? My parents, the other disciples…  How many? How many you couldn’t save? I wasn’t any different from any of them.”

“I was a kid too and I only had a brother and a sister left!” he yelled back. “Do you think it was easy for me? Do you think it didn’t hurt like hell? I wanted to be great too, but saving you was more important.”

“Saving the Jiang Clan heir, of course…” he dispersed, because the full weight of what Wei Wuxian was saying, if true, was… overwhelming.

“Saving you, fuck the Jiang Clan! I was a stupid kid, everybody was dead, and you said… I was terrified you would die too if I didn’t do something… Anything. I could not lose anyone else. I wouldn’t survive it” he blurted as he remembered the despair he felt when he came back and didn’t find his brother and later when he found him covered in blood. And worse, when he saw Jiang Cheng holding Yanli’s motionless body.  

“I didn’t survive it, but you… Can’t you see? You weather it all. You rebuild Pier Lotus, the Jiang Clan is thriving, you fight the Jins to have Jin Ling by your side and you raise him to be a good man. I couldn’t have done any of that.”

“Are you done?” he rebutted with fake annoyance, because he wasn’t totally unaffected by Wei Wuxian’s words. He also couldn’t help noticing the similarities between what he said to Jin Ling earlier and what Wei Wuxian said just now. They were both stupid kids, afraid of losing the little family they had left. 

“No, I’m not. Why did you go back that day, Jiang Cheng?”

“Fuck you!”

…

...

...

...

...

…

…

…

…

Jiang Cheng was still fuming when he got back to Pier Lotus.

Shameless… His former brother was still shameless. And he wouldn’t stop. He never did. Wei Wuxian was an unstoppable force after all, and Jiang Cheng was tired of being an immovable object. It would be easier just to give him what he wanted.

He attached a note to a small pouch with lotus seeds and gave it to Lan SiZhui when the boy left later that day:

 “Not your business, but I’m not dying any faster than any live being is supposed to.

I promised I’ll still be yelling at Jin Ling when he is thirty, so I don’t intend to die anytime sooner.

PS.If you have nothing better to do with your life than meddling in mine, maybe you can grow them on Cloud Recess.”

The next day he received a note and a small box with a dog collar with a small bell inside.

“I bet I can do it! Loser sends the other a box with spicy oil.

PS.Send help! The food is really atrocious here.”

Chapter Text

After the birthday drama, Pier Lotus felt back at its peaceful routine. Anyone could still hear the vendors at the docks and see people moving from one place to the other, but full of noise and bustling with life had always been Yunmeng’s normal. 

Jiang Cheng liked it that way. A bit of chaos was good. 

Jin Ling’s friend said their goodbyes in the late afternoon of the day after his party, but the teenager would stay a few more days. Every now and then he would look at Jiang Cheng with his big hazel eyes - that had always granted him a ‘yes’ - and make his uncle remember his last promise.  

The boy was growing fast, but he was still a child, dreaming that things could change. That people could change. As if it was actually possible. 

But Jiang Cheng said he would try, and he was doing… something . To be fair, he had been doing something for some time now and Jin Ling’s plea was just another push in that direction.

He had humility forced upon him when the truth about the golden core transfer was revealed. He learnt he had lived on his former brother's generosity all those years and he had to live through the indignity of being saved by the Wen Dog. It was awful, but he lived… Again .  (Sometimes surviving could be a burden. He knew it quite well)

If he had been bitten by a snake, first he would try to remove the poison, but there was always something left the body would have to burn, making their energy circle their core repeatedly. 

That poison of him… The three poisons – anger, greed and ignorance - were not so different. He would have to go over them over and over again to get himself cleansed. To burn them, if not completely, at least enough to fulfill his promise. 

No one could change the past, but he could cast a new look to old facts… old traumas and the truth was that he wasn’t even sure of his anger anymore. Not after rearranging the pieces of his world and figuring out how much of that was built in sand, and had to be changed now that the scales fell from his eyes.

Jiang Cheng hadn't felt so tired when he was still moving, but after he was forced to stop, the years and years had finally caught up to him… with a vengeance.

Once he got familiar with the feelings, it wasn’t as overwhelming anymore and he could turn down the heat and not be burned by it. That made inviting his former brother and all the Lans to Jin Ling’s birthday something not impossible anymore.

The new piece he got to rearrange was the confirmation that Wei Wuxian was still a fucking liar with a big head and no boundaries, but he actually cared . Not in a way Jiang Cheng wanted, not in a way he could understand. He wasn’t sure he could even accept it, but Wei Wuxian cared with all his unapologetic self. 

Knowing it just now, after so much time, was useless and left a bitter taste in his mouth, because all the pain, all the frustration, all the resentment, all the hurt, it was all for nothing . Their desperate efforts alone were only good to destroy the little family they had left. 

Stupid kids…

They had both hurt themselves carrying alone a burden they should have shared all along if they wanted to get to the end of the road together. Now their paths had parted a long time ago, all promises broken.

It was not a surprise they ended up in different places since they had always been very different people. Jiang Cheng had always known he would be abandoned at a crossroad by Wei Wuxian and that’s the reason that silly promise was so important to him. He thought the other would at least make and afford to stay by his side, but it didn’t work that way.

Let the past go… It was never going to happen. The best he could do was trying to be less resentful - (Maybe even a little grateful?) 

For once, he was grateful he wouldn’t have to meet Wei Wuxian again anytime soon. He wasn’t a regular in any conference and it would be one year until Jin Ling’s next birthday. He was quite sure the teenager’s animosity will have faded by then and he will host another awkward ‘family-like” dinner at Pier Lotus or will be invited to one in Koi Tower. 

He could already see the boy’s wall crumbling down when he sent the other juniors away the other day. It was all for the best. People always said to Jiang Wanyin the boy was like him, meaning it as a compliment, but he knew better. Jin Ling was like his mother and Jiang Cheng was happy because of that. 

Jiang Wanyin had finished his work and was done for the day. He was about to go meet his nephew for dinner on the last night of his visit when he heard it. Someone was getting close and calling for him. Not the Jiang Sect leader… Calling for “Jiang Cheng” and no one did it anymore. No one except one person that was supposed to be far away in Gusu.

He didn’t think he would meet Wei Wuxian for the next twelve months, but here he was again, shouting and making a fuss. The good Lan-boy following him and apologizing all the way.

The former demonic cultivator was not kept at the Pier Lotus gates. He passed through the two disciples and was now in front the sect leader:

“Jiang Cheng!” he shouted. One look and he recognized Wei Wuxian’s frenzy. He was once again overtaken by an idea, and nothing would get in his way. “Stop it! I have to talk to him” the two disciples had reached Wei Wuxian and were trying to drag him back. 

“Sect Leader Jiang, we apologize for the intrusion” Lan Shizui bowed down.

“We are sorry, sect leader” the disciples that failed to stop Wei Wuxian apologized too. 

“You are dismissed” he said and waved his hands, so the disciples would leave. The boy stayed. “What do you want now, Wei Wuxian? We just had a long, displeasing conversation. I thought it would be enough for the next… five, make it ten years.”

Wei Wuxian ignored him.

“Quit the crap, Jiang Cheng. I know what happened! How could you hide it from me?” he said with equal parts of resolution and despair and Jiang Cheng got flashbacks from last year, when another old truth decided to reveal itself. His mind goes back to the last part of the conversation they had and Wei Wuxian’s last question that was left unanswered. He should have known Wei Wuxian wouldn’t stop with that. He never did.  That was not how the other man functioned. He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted. 

“Senior Wei, maybe you should have this conversation in another place” said Lan Shizui, trying to make Wei Wuxian stop, but the other man was too fired up to listen, so there was very little the youth could do.

It was a long way from Gusu to Yunmeng and Wei Wuxian considered what he could say and measured his words during the trip. He would be polite, and he would be proper. He would ask for another interview with the sect leader and he would… he would try very hard no to punch his brother in the face for doing something so stupid! What the hell was he thinking? 

“I know how you got caught! Wen Ning told me” he was furious now. The red light flicking in his eyes as if he was facing the enemy. 

Jiang Cheng’s eyes grow wide for one second, then he narrowed them to look back at Wei Wuxian in disbelieve: 

“Your Wen Dog can’t tell you what he doesn’t know.”

“He knows plenty, he just never thought he should tell me.”

“Tell you what? He wasn’t t….” Jiang Cheng challenged him to keep going. There was no way anyone else knew what happened. He was alone there. The Wen Guards didn’t see Wei Wuxian or they would have tried to catch both of them. The other man was just bluffing. And if he wasn’t, it was all in the past and there was nothing they could do to change anything. 

“You were not captured going back to Pier Lotus. You were caught in the city and brought back by the guards” he ignored Jiang Cheng’s attempt to reply, took one step ahead and grabbed the other man’s collar, getting madder with every word that disclosed something he didn’t know before. “You were not trying to go back for your parents. You were not trying to get your revenge.”

“Back off!” Jiang Cheng pushed back, but Wei Wuxian didn’t let go. 

“You lied to me!”

“Between you and me, we both know who the liar is. Now let go of me!”

“You were trying to protect shijie , weren’t you?” his voice got softer, just with the mention of their deceased sister. “There were Wen guards everywhere and I left you both alone in that inn… You had to move the guards away from her, hadn’t you?” 

“Would you just stop? Your babbling is embarrassing” he grabbed the other man's hand to peel them off his robes, but Wei Wuxian’s anguish got him cautious, because it didn’t sound like a question. There was something… Wei Wuxian was begging him for confirmation, because if it was not true, if he didn’t do it for Yanli, then… Wei Wuxian let go of Jiang Cheng’s collar and tears started rolling down his face. 

“Was it me ?” he asked, his voice not above a whisper. “Did you get caught because of… me ?”

Jiang Wanyin was never a particularly good liar and Wei Wuxian’s eyes just got bigger with the unintended confirmation. 

“It can’t…” the disbelief in his face rapidly became anger and he started pushing the sect leader again and again. “Why did you…? Why didn’t you…?” 

The answer was obvious, but not to someone that was distracted looking the other way.

“Stop it!” Jiang Cheng pushed back.

“It was my job! Mine!” Wei Wuxian tackled the sect leader and they were both on the ground, both trying to get the upper hand. “Your father told me to protect… You and Yanli… How could you?”

“Fuck you!”

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have died!” 

“What was I thinking? What were you thinking!” he punctuated the pronouns, because it was a stupid accusation coming for the hypocrite that allowed someone else to remove his own golden core and lied about it. 

Their pushing and pulling, grabbing and twisting, didn’t last long, but it was enough to let a few marks.  Jiang Cheng rolled up to one side, Wei Wuxian to the other and Lan SiZhui in the middle.

“Fuck!” he supported himself with his elbows, touched his broken lip and saw red. “You hit me in the mouth, you moron! Is there blood that you want?”

Jiang Cheng wanted to keep yelling. Yelling and throwing punches. That was how he solved things. It was easier than looking to the side and seeing Wei Wuxian wasn’t trying to get up. He had turned to the side and made himself smaller, shivering all over with painful sobs. 

“You both…” he repeated, his hands now covering his face and half muffing his voice. 

“How am I supposed to live with that, hum? It was my job!” he cried but kept speaking, his phrases marked by the erratic cadence of his breathing.  “You both… It was my job, and I didn’t… How am I to face your parents now?”

“So many people died because of me. And when shijie … I killed even more people! So many… All those faces... I killed them all… and for what ? What good came from that?”

The question lingered in the air for a long time.

“Why am I back when they are all gone… when she is still gone?”

The dreaded Yiling Patriarch was reduced to a howling mess. Just like that. With no reservations. No control. In the middle of the courtyard. For everybody to see. It was a good thing all the disciples and servers had the good sense not to be there.

“I want my sister… I want her back…” he was whispering through tears. 

Jiang Cheng put himself into a sitting position and kept watching from the same place, paralyzed by the despair in his former brother’s voice and all the echoes from a distant past that would always be too close. He couldn’t bring Yanli back, just like Wei Wuxian couldn’t bring his parents back all those years ago.

There was so much bubbling inside his chest that it would be easier letting anger and resentment get hold of him once more.  

The voices in his head kept telling Wei Wuxian didn’t have the right to be this hurt when he was the one who left. When he was the one who abandoned him and his sisters. How could he protect them when he was not with them? 

The poison in his blood almost made him twist the knife buried in Wei Wuxian’s side. It would be the perfect opportunity to make the other feel the same pain he felt. To make him pay. He could even use Wei Wuxian’s own words against him and say that “ It was all in the past ” and he should “ Just forget it ”. But watching his former brother cutting his heart out of his chest and offering it in a silver plate… It felt wrong. 

They were back at the Guanyin Temple, but the roles were reversed now and if Jiang Cheng thought it was agony being at someone’s else mercy, he still didn’t know the other way around. Not when he never learnt how to be merciful.

The Lan kid was by Wei Wuxian’s side. Telling how he did the best he could and that he shouldn’t blame himself. Telling no one else blamed him and that they were just happy for the extra time he got them… What didn’t go unnoticed. There was something about that boy… Jiang Cheng didn’t know what it was, but he was relieved the kid was there. He was never the one to console anyone. That was always Yanli and her endless patience. 

Right now, Jiang Cheng wished their sister was there too. He still misses her so much. She would know what to do and she would make everything better and…

“ Jiujiu ?”

Jiang Cheng searched the voice while standing up and found Jin Ling, the small dog in his arms. He asked for his sister, and she sent him the closet thing. Maybe maybe that really was the human’s way to stay around, even after they parted.

The teenager hasn’t heard much, but he saw the marks of the fight on his uncle and Wei Wuxian dissolving into tears, Lan SiZhui with a distressed expression by his side. “What is he doing here?”

“What do you think, brat? That’s you and your finesse ” Jiang Cheng dictated, looking at the small dog in his nephew’s hold, then looking at the figure that was now behind him. It was time to stand up and fix his clothes, which he did promptly without losing eye contact with his nephew. 

“I didn’t tell anything!” he replied, while gesturing that he was holding the animal tight and that he was keeping his distance. He was not stupid! He remembered how afraid Wei Wuxian was of dogs. And he wasn’t cruel so he wouldn’t use the dog to terrorize the other man. He looked upset on his own right now.  

“And yet, here we are.”

Jin Ling looked at Wei Wuxian again. He knew his uncle didn’t want his secret out there and he couldn’t imagine how the other man found out, but he was happy he did. Secrets and lies. It cost his family dearly and it was time to stop it. 

He also looked at Lan SiZhu who let out a sigh. The other boy, even distressed because of his guardian, knew it too. Seacrets would always come out to bite your ass. The best you could do was controlling how you would reveal it. 

“Maybe this should happen anyway.”

“That was not for you to decide!”  

The sect leader would give another speech about the importance of being trustworthy and threaten to break his nephew’s legs, but Wei Wuxian chose that moment to raise his head and start yelling and crawling backwards when he saw the small dog, trying to hide behind Lan Shizui. 

Before he could realize, Jiang Cheng had put himself between his nephew, the terrible beast and his frightened brother that probably didn’t even realize but was calling his childhood nickname out of habit. Wei Wuxian and his terror of dogs… That was a much easier task to deal with and the small change of events forced them to move out of that awkward moment.

“Go take the dog to your room. We will be waiting for you in the dining room.”

“Dining room?” Jin Ling had to be sure of what he heard and the others too. 

“Yes. It’s dinner time and we are going to have dinner. Is there any problem?”

“No… No problem” the boy agreed. 

“Then  go already.”

“Can Shizui go with me?” Jin Ling asked tentatively, because maybe his uncle wanted the chance to be alone with the sad figure hidden behind him. Maybe they hadn’t finished all that they wanted to say before, but that was for his uncle to decide, and he still wanted to ask Shizui what that hell had happened. 

“If he wants to.” 

“Can I?'' It was Shizui’s time to ask Wei Wuxian if he wanted some time alone to finish what they had started.

Wei Wuxian let go of the boy’s clothes and nodded.

Chapter Text

*** TEAM JUNIOR *** 

“Is that the reason you got upset with Senior Wei?” asked Lan Shizui. They were moving alone down the hall. Everybody else kept their distance or at least avoided being seen. 

“Sort of…” Jin Ling confirmed without conviction. He was troubled by what he heard, but the real problem was not Jiang Cheng sacrificing himself for his brother, it was how alone he was left after everything. 

It was all just so frustrating.

“I overheard uncle talking to his dog” he petted the puppy in his arms, then left her to look at the pet face to muzzle. “Don't get cocky! You are cute, but uncle only told you because he was drunk and you can’t speak.” The dog couldn’t reply, but there was an accusation flouting in the air, because only they knew about the secret that was out there now and Jin Ling had to defend himself. 

“I didn’t tell anyone! I have no idea how Wei Wuxian found out. Shizui?”

He asked Lan Sizhui, but the other teenager was having his own moment to digest what he witnessed. How does something like that happen? How does someone come from sacrificing themselves for another person to killing the same person a few years later? How could so much change so fast? 

However, opposite to Jin Ling who would ask and answer himself out loud as if he was talking with another person, as a Lan, he was having his inner turmoil in silence. Except, he was not a Lan. He was born a Wen. They happened .  His people waged a war and tried to subjugate all the jianghu or destroy those who wouldn’t surrender. That was his heritage. But only part of it. 

Wen Ning told him the Wen clan was huge and had many branches. Wen Ning was from a lineage of medics. Shizui himself  was a farmer's son. His family didn’t take an active part in the war, but they paid for it nevertheless. Wei Wuxian defected from the Jiang Sect to protect them. He paid for it too. 

They all paid. 

“Sizhui?” Jin Ling called again and the older boy came back from his journey to the past.  ‘How did Wei Wuxian find out?”

“Senior Wei talked to Wen-qianbei and came here to ask Sect Leader Jiang in person. Maybe he had a hunch, but he didn't know until a few moments ago.”

“The Ghost General…” he grimaced. The poetry of that. “I guess it's only fitting.”  

“Why are you saying that?” he asked, listening to all the contempt in the other boy's voice. It wasn't there before. 

“He  was the one who told jiuji … ” Jin Ling stopped himself. Few people knew about the core transfer and it was better that way. People talk a lot and they are rarely kind. That is a lesson Jin Ling learned very well after the demise of his other uncle and how fast all his accomplishments just vanished and were replaced by the most ludicrous rumors. The only good part of all that bullshit was that everybody was so occupied blaming his shushu for everything, that they simply forgot about his jiujiu and how he ran around asking people to unshed the black sword on his hand. 

“There was another secret. In the beginning of the war, Wei Wuxian also sacrificed himself to save my uncle and never told him about it. But he didn’t do it alone. He had to trick my uncle to get him to cooperate and the Ghost General was part of the sham. Last year he told uncle what they did just to mock him for believing their lie.”

The older boy had just watched Wei Wuxian’s breakdown and he was still a  little shaken.  He imagined it was like that for Jin Ling too and he noticed the other was also angry with Wen Ning, otherwise he wouldn’t call him by that hideous name. Not in front of Lan Sizhui. Not if he knew they were family, but Jing Ling didn't know that part.

He would have to tell Jin Ling eventually, but maybe not right now, so he make his best to try and understand what was happening with the pieces of information he had:

“That doesn’t sound like Wen-qianbei. He has always been respectful. Maybe he…”

“It wasn’t a mistake, I’m furious with him and I don’t want him near my uncle anymore, so don’t you even…” he stopped. It was more entangled than that. The Wens nearly destroyed his mother's family, but what was left of the Wens was crushed by his father's family. Wen Ning was killed by the Jins and then he was brought back from the dead by Wei Wuxian and killed his father to protect Wei Wuxian. His father was never brought back. Neither was his mother, his grandparents, his little cousin or his aunt Qin Sue. Mo Xuanyu wouldn't even be able to go back to the reincarnation cycle because his soul was destroyed and his other uncle’s soul would be trapped in the coffin for a long time. 

There was only one person left. And ‘one’ was not enough. ‘One’ was too close to ‘no one’ and he didn’t want to be alone. That was how his uncle lived for as long as he knew, but he never considered it bothered him before. And he never thought how much it must have hurt being left behind and he shouldn’t have poked that wound with his silly requests. 

“Whatever. I know it’s all my fault, ok? I caused this mess.  I made Jiujiu invite Wei Wuxian to Pier Lotus because I wanted to ‘ play pretend ’ for my birthday” Jin Ling continued his ranting, but this time he claimed all the blame for himself. “I wanted things to get better and I thought I could do something, but what do I know? Maybe Wei Wuxian was right to stay away. Maybe uncle had his reason for not wanting  him back.”

It was difficult following Jin Ling’s mood. He was now directing all the anger once dedicated to Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian to himself and Sizhui couldn’t allow it, because it wasn’t all Jin Ling’s fault. Jin Ling was the one who voiced the idea and brought everyone on the boat with him, because he was the only irrefutable link between Wei Wuxian and Sect Leader Jiang, but Lan Sizhui also wanted it to work, because it was just not fair.  

Sizhui remembered radishes from when he was a toddler, but he also remembered lotus flowers. They wouldn’t be there if they were not important. If the people they represented were not important. And Wei Wuxian was beaming with excitement when he told him Yunmeng Jiang ancient tradition of throwing people in the river on special occasions. Obviously a lie, but he did it anyway.  

“Sect Leader Jiang gave Senior Wei lotus seeds and challenged him to grow them in Cloud Recess” he disclosed. “I know because I broke the seal and read the letter your uncle sent before delivering it.”

Lotus flowers were not that uncommon, but they were certainly special. They bloom in the dirtiest of waters, but are not tamed by the dirt. They stand for purity and enlightenment. But for the people that lived on the river bank, the lotuses also were food, medicine and tea. They were ‘home’.

Jin Ling’s master plan didn’t work as he planned. It actually backfired spectacularly, because the night ended with teenager banishing Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji from Pier Lotus. But that was not really the end, because stranded brothers had met afterwards and things shifted a little… and it wasn’t for worse. 

Jin Ling looked back at the other teenager with questioning eyes, then it changed when he understood what Sizhui said . Maybe he could meddle one last time.

“Is it not prohibited to pry into another person's business?” Jin Ling smiled back at him like the cat that ate the canary. 

“We are not in Gusu. I was told the rules here are different?, yes”

“Then I have another question for you, Lan Shizui…”

Lan Shizui smiled back at Jin Ling for him to go on. 

“Can you cook?” 

* * * TEAM SENIOR ***

“You look awful” Jiang Cheng fixed his hold on Sandu. 

“I feel awful too,”  Wei Wuxian said, his eyes red and swollen from crying. His clothes were untidy and his hair ruffly because of the long trip, plus the struggling from earlier. There was also a stain whose origin he couldn’t identify for sure, but that he was confident it was just mud. Probably. 

He had traveled back to Gusu but couldn’t stop thinking about what Jin Ling said or better: what the boy didn’t say. What he overheard from his uncle that made him so mad. There was something more than just Wen Ning’s accusatory words - Words, he realized, were painfully close to his own words when he pleaded with Wen Qing to do the procedure . Wen Ning was there and he heard everything.

Too competitive… he tries his best but he is never good enough. 

Cultivation is everything… he puts all his self-worth there.

Can’t survive without his core… because he is weak. 

Me? I’m different. I will be ‘ok’ without mine… I’m just better. 

Wen Ning just filled the gaps that were left unsaid, but he was the one who pointed out Jiang Cheng's greatest weaknesses. 

He could say those words, other people were not allowed to. It was bad enough Wen Ning had revealed his secret, he shouldn’t have used his words to hurt his brother.

But there was something else hidden in Jin Ling’s outburst and the way he insisted that Wei Wuxian didn’t know anything and would always assume ‘the worst’.

That ‘something’ was eating on him, so he tracked Wen Ning and summoned the man back. They never talked about what happened before because it was too painful and there was nothing to talk about, because Wei Wuxian was quite sure of what happened. He filled all the gaps with what he believed to be the truth and never questioned it. There was no time for that and no energy left. But what he guessed wasn’t all that happened and there was more relevant information that Wen Ning never told him.

In hindsight, it was all too obvious. That was not the first time Jiang Cheng protected him. That was not even the first time he did it on that occasion, because his shidi  almost got stricken by Zidian to protect him right before the attack. He remembered all the times Jiang Cheng lectured him about putting himself into unnecessary danger. The other boys would cheer and encourage his reckless behavior, but not Jiang Cheng. He would tell Wei Wuxian to stay out of trouble, nevertheless, it never prevented the younger from being one to carry him home on his back when the prank went wrong. He would complain and grumble and threaten to stop helping, but he never did. Not until the Burial Mounds, when he visited to tell he wouldn’t be able to protect him anymore . That was what he had been doing until that moment and Wei Wuxian just dismissed it all as if it was nothing.  As if it didn’t matter, as if it hadn’t cost him everything.

Wasn’t that what Yanli had told him? That their younger brother was harsh because he cared too much?

If he had known… 

If he had known, he didn’t quite know how much it would have changed things. Or if it would have changed anything at all. It didn’t matter how Jiang Cheng lost his core, he would do it all over again. He would give up his core and he would use demonic cultivation to get their vengeance. He would also help Wen Qing and he would try to save the Wens because it was the right thing to do. 

He never felt betrayed before. He was the one who left and he tried very hard to push his siblings away, because he knew how dangerous what he was doing was. It was his idea to stage the fight and he knew how to push all the right buttons to get Jiang Cheng angry and warring. But it would be even harder looking at his shidi’s eyes, knowing what he sacrificed for him, and saying he would leave anyway. 

He wanted to cry again, but he ended up with a crackle.

“I guess it serves me well for causing so much trouble, right?” Wei Wuxian repeated the same words Jiang Cheng had said to him all those years ago. He didn’t understand him by then, but Wen Ning and Wen Qing taught him that painful lesson when they paralized him so he couldn’t stop them from surrendering after the events at Qiongqi Path. That was so annoying… Jiang Cheng was so right for being annoyed with him so often. He also wanted to fish a grumpy response from the other man, so he gave clear permission for Jiang Cheng to criticize him once more, but the sect leader didn’t buy it, he only got stiff for a second, as if he was slapped in the face by the past.

The acid remark Wei Wuxian was expecting never came and he realized they both associated different feelings to that memory.  He was congratulated for his act of bravery, but Jiang FiengMian reprimanded his son for not understanding the sect motto one more time and if the young boy still didn’t learn his father’s lessons, at least now he learnt to keep his mouth shut. 

He looked around and realized he shouldn’t be here. He was only making everything worse. He tried to fix things that time too, but he only made it worse with a promise he couldn't keep. He would always make things worse.

Wei Wuxian’s steps got slower until he stopped all together, unsure of what to do next and not wanting to be more of a burden. 

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Cheng stopped a few feet from the other.  

“You don’t have to do it.”

“I don’t have to do what? Eat dinner?” Jiang Cheng sneered and resumed walking. “Come on. You probably don’t remember, but food tastes good in Yunmeng. It’s not a punishment”. 

“This is not about you, Wei Wuxian. Jin Ling lost a few pounds, so he won’t be skipping any meals while he is here” he explained, because again Wei Wuxian was making everything about him again, and it-was-not about him. Not anymore. Once upon a time, he had sacrificed everything for Wei Wuxian, but it was before, when he was just Jiang Cheng. Now he was Sect Leader Jiang and jiujiu . He had people depending on him and a spoiled nephew who still needed him. “The brat is not a picky eater, and he grew up fine, but those filthy Jin nannies didn’t feed him properly when he was too small to defend himself and as a result he had stomach aches from time to time. It gets worse when he is stressed and he is fifteen and a sect leader so…”

“I didn’t know” he could track down the nannies just to ask why they would let a toddler starve. If it was funny or anything, mistreat a defenseless child. Was it because Jin Ling was the Jin sect’s heir? Have they felt powerful doing it with a baby? But he was quite sure Jiang Cheng had already dealt with the matter.  

“How could you?” he said, then he cleaned his throat. “You were not here for a long time, but you are now, so pay attention. He doesn’t want my help, but he might accept yours.”

Wei Wuxian nodded. 

He told Jin Ling he could always ask Jiang Cheng for advice or help, even if his uncle was a Jiang and not a Jin. He knew the man wouldn’t get involved in any problem that wasn’t concerned to him, but he would defend what was his with all his might, and Jin Ling was, alongside Pier Lotus, his most precious possessions. And for the reaction he was getting from Jiang Wanyin, he wasn’t wrong. 

The boy would soon become a man and it was only natural that he wanted to prove himself capable. Proofing he could do it.  He was yet too immature to realize that it was fine accepting help and even asking for it. He couldn’t really blame Jin Ling, since he needed to die and come back to life to finally learn that lesson. 

And some people, they never learn. 

“Your Baby-Jade always brings snacks to the night-hunts they go together. He is so sly that a-Ling hadn’t noticed yet he is being fed like a small child.”

“Sizhui is a good kid.”

“Too kind for his own good.”

They got to a washroom and they both started fixing the damage of their little fight. Jiang Cheng just fixed his hair and washed his face. His lips were a little swollen, but he wasn’t so bad. Wei Wuxian was far worse. There were bugs in his hair from the flight and his robes were stained.

“Do you need clean clothes? I can…” 

“No need” the answer came too fast, and Jiang Cheng grimaced. That was one more thing that hasn't changed: Wei Wuxian would always say ‘no’ to whatever he offered. 

“Suit yourself” he crossed his arms, held his sword and tried to act nonchalant. “I wouldn’t be able to get you anything black anyway.”

“I don’t want to cause more trouble.” 

“You never do, do you?” muttered and swallowed his words. Wei Wuxian’s good intentions backfire so often and so spectacularly that it was hard to believe his innocence. That kind of absolute tragedy needed deliberation and planning… or maybe just impatience and haste. Jiang Cheng pondered if Wei Wuxian ever planned what would happen after the transfer. How would he conceal it? Was he planning to die during the war? His little game was just not sustainable for long. He was a fool, but Jiang Yanli would find out and then what? He wondered if his sister would tell him or if she would also think it was too much for him to handle.

He still wanted to have a nice dinner, because the kids would be there, so he just bit his lip. He had already ruined his nephew's birthday, so compensations were in order. 

There was just another small business he still had to settle:

“Make sure to take Suibian with you this time. That stupid sword unshielded for the wrong person, but she is still your sword.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t dispute that, but he wasn’t that eager to have his old sword back.

“I already have Sandu and Zidian. I don’t need another weapon. And this way  you won’t need to drag that poor boy all the way from Gusu next time” he fumed. 

Jiang Cheng didn’t care, really. He was just thinking about his nephew and Lan Sizhui was Jin Ling’s friend, but he was not blind. He didn’t know the specifics, yet anyone could see Lan Shizui was close to Wei Wuxian. Closer than a regular junior disciple. And his stupid former shixiong was just giving the kid more reasons to get worried. If he kept doing shit like that, soon the teenager would be throwing himself in front of a sword for him and Jiang Cheng didn’t recommend that experience to anyone. He was still pissed that his relationship with Jin Ling changed from the point the boy would use his uncle to threaten others to the point the teenager was himself threatening others to shield his no-more-invulnerable-uncle.

Wei Wuxian heard the scolding with surprise. Jiang Cheng has always been so tragically reticent and cautious about caring for anyone. He never thought him, of all people, would reprimand him for not taking better care of the kid.  Jiang Cheng, who had no sympathy for the adorable toddler hugging his legs. If he had taken the time to get to know the kid back then, like he got to know Lan Sizhui, he would see how sweet and deserving of love he was. How every child was. 

That was the last secret kept and he wondered how long it would remain that way. He knew Jiang Cheng wasn’t waging war because Wen Ning was chaperoning the juniors, he regarded Lan Shizui highly because he was Jin Ling’s friend, the boy didn’t go by the name Wen anymore and he was just a small child when everything happened. He might get mad, but he would understand eventually. Well, he let a Wen involved in  Jin Zixuan death be near Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui was a better nanny than the ones Jin Ling had when he was a toddler. He firmly believed Jiang Cheng’s practical sense would make him accept it. Maybe… next time .

That was when the last part of Jiang Cheng’s phrase caught his attention, because that spoke of future possibilities and Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure that’s what he meant. Probably it was just a relapse or maybe it could be an opportunity. The puppy was not wearing the collar with a bell he gave him. He didn’t know if Jiang Cheng had understood his present, but Wei Wuxian still had the lotus seeds in his pouch. The seeds themselves were some sort of promesse, weren’t them? If you do right by them, they could grow into something new. It was somehow miraculous how small seeds could grow into massive trees if given time and nutrition.

He had finished tidying up and they were moving one when he asked:

“There will be a ‘next time’?”

Jiang Cheng felt cold all of sudden. He remembered all the times he asked - no, he begged! -  Wei Wuxian to go back to Pier Lotus. To go back home, just to have him saying ‘no’ again and again. He was about to correct his saying, because there was no way he was going to expose his soft belly and give Wei Wuxian the chance to stab him.

However… It was Wei Wuxian asking this time and there was this part of him that still wanted a ‘yes’. Maybe he could be brave one last time and they could meet halfway. 

“You tell me. You said it yourself that you wanted to come back. Have you already changed your mind?”

“No! I still want to!”

“I just don’t know what you would do around here, but disturbing everybody” he acted casually, trying to mask his relief. “You are from Gusu Lan now. Don’t you have an occupation there?”

“Not really. There is a new rule prohibiting the disciples from associating with me so I have a lot of free time.”

“I see… Good for you. Everyday’s ordinary task has always been terribly boring for you. This way you can do whatever you want.” 

“I can’t complain” he hurried up and got ahead of Jiang Cheng just one step, so he could look at him. “Can I really come back? If I get something to do, I mean. It would be strictly business” he insisted, wanting to make sure and not going for the teasing, but also softening the edges of his proposition. He was so eager for the confirmation that Jiang Cheng had to stop him once again because he was going too fast.

“Not ‘anything’, but yeah. Maybe. I’ll have to approve it first.”

The grumpy answer was exactly what Wei Wuxian was hoping for, so he stopped and the other man took the lead again. He walked behind him with light steps. 

“I can help the junior practice” was Wei Wuxian’s first idea. He was the first disciple once. That was the job he was trained to do, but never got the chance. 

‘I have a first disciple. That’s his job and he is very meticulous about it. You can’t take anybody’s job.”

“Doesn’t he ever go on vacations?”

“Do you think I would name ‘first disciple’ someone who goes on vacations? Me?”  

“Fair. Hum… I’m very good with talismans. I could teach…’

“My disciples are already taught the basics. It's still cheating,  but they have it covered and I don’t need a genius to teach the basics.”

“Swimming classes?”

“I doubt you’ve been swimming lately, so no.”

“I can help with the books and correspondences.”

“Only if I wanted them encrypted. I can understand your writing because I was trained, but other people don’t.” 

Of course there were people taking care of all the ordinary activities, but Wei Wuxian remembered a few other things that needed to be done. Things that Jiang Cheng planned to fix after the war and that he was supposed to have helped with. Silly arrangements to better the sect… things they couldn’t possibly accomplish for years ahead, because everything was in ruins, but Jiang Cheng loved lists and preparations and planning and Wei Wuxian didn’t mind hearing. It made the future look brighter. 

“You said you wanted to rearrange the barrie spells around…” his voice was deep and sullen, full of sorrow. The barriers didn’t work that day. It could never happen again.

“It was almost twenty year ago! Of course I already did it! What do you think I was doing all those years? Sleeping? Singing a happy song?”

“I don’t think you sleep at all for all this time…” he murmured with a pout. 

“What have you said?” he hissed. 

“There must be something to be improved,” he replied. “There must be a little small detail that is bothering you and making you lay awake in bed and…”

“Not really” he dared. “I’m pretty satisfied with the new system.”

“You? Satisfied with anything?”

“Yes” Jiang Cheng kept his annoyed tone. “It’s sensitive information. You couldn’t help with that even if there was something to be perfected… what I have to emphasize: there isn’t. My grandmother helped me test it.”

It made sense now. If Grand Master Yu approved the new system, he was almost sorry for the next fool who ever tries to invade Pier Lotus.

They walked a few more steps until Wei Wuxian gathered the courage to ask about another thing he heard Jiang Cheng discussing with Jiang Yanli when they started the rebuilding. Only the main building was still standing and there was a lot to do. But what happened could never be forgotten and those who had fallen should be honored.

“What about…” he couldn’t bring himself to end the question, but Jiang Cheng understood all the same. 

“The memorial was built too. I thought Jin Ling told you about it already.”

“He didn’t” Wei Wuxian answered. "I never asked."

“Well, the memorial was built and the dead were honored. Just as I said I would do. No surprise. ”

Wei Wuxian looked down and bit his lips. After what happened in the ancestral hall , he couldn’t really ask to visit the memorial and he was pretty sure Jiang Cheng would never make such an offer. So he let go of that painful topic with his next steps and chose a cheerful one. 

“Hey, I can help with the harvest! You can always have one more body… what? ”

“About that… I have an agreement with a few merchants and they provide the extra labor and get priority to buy all the pigment produced here.”

“Pigment?”

“Huaisang is part of the deal. He wants it for his painting. It’s a long story, but it works.”

“No harvest, fine… I can help in the kitchen. I’ve always wanted to…”

“You can’t cook.”

“That’s not…”

“You can’t cook,” he repeated. 

Wei Wuxian gave up that idea when he saw that not amusing expression on his brother's face. “Ok, I can’t cook, but I’m a great detective and I perfected my ability over the years.  I’m sure I could find out the secret ingredient of Madame Fa’s special pork dumplings.”

He had his speech ready to prove what a great job he would do to solve their childhood mystery, but he was cut short.

“It’s cinnamon.”

“No!!! Really? How did you…?”

“Madame's Fa daughter works in the kitchen. She knows the recipes. All-of-them.”

“If that’s so, why was there no special pork dumplings in Jin Ling’s birthday dinner?”

“Because I arranged the menu” he glanced at his company with annoyance yet again. 

“That’s so mean!” he whined, implying the menu was arranged to punish him.

“Why do you think everything is about you? Jin-Ling is allergic to cinnamon.”

“Really? Why haven’t you told me sooner? I could have gotten him killed!”

“He doesn't go into anaphylactic shock. He only gets queasy and sometimes you have to clean up his vomit. It’s not that bad and I already told you he often has an upset stomach. He shouldn't eat spicy food, but sometimes he does it anyway.  Weren't you listening?”

“You didn’t say anything about food allergies! I’m going to need a list. But back to business, since the culinary mystery is already solved, I could find a way to deal with the ghost in the forbidden lake. It has always…”

“That one was hard to deal with, but there are no more ghosts there. And a quarter of the lotus leaf tea we produce with the harvest of that lake will go right to Gusu for a total of ten years. That was the terms of the treaty II signed with Grand Master Lan for his help.” 

“Did you convince Grand Master Lan to exorcize that ghost over… tea ?” he inquired, because it was yet another impossible task in the list of impossible things his brother had accomplished. 

“Special tea” he confirmed and didn’t mask the indignation in his voice, because it wasn’t at all a big deal. Doesn’t Wei Wuxian think him capable of such trivial things? “Gusu Lan and Yunmeg Jiang are old allies. That is nothing unusual about it.”

“Nothing unusual? GrandMaster Lan?” Wei Wuxian replicated. Yes, the sects were allies, but it wasn’t done before. That ghost was there as long as Wei Wuxian was in Pier Lotus and nothing really worked and no one really offered assistance.

“GrandMaster Lan is a generous person.”

“Ok, ok. I won’t say a word” he gave up.  It was clear Jiang Cheng and Lan Qiren bonded over tea. It was such a betrayal! “The east wing always suffers from floods during the rainy season. I could…”

“Done.”

“But… how? Your father never… Have you learned how to control the weather, Jiang Cheng?” 

“Not me, but my engineer did” he answered and Wei Wuxian kept looking at him with big incredulous eyes. “You were offering to solve the problem, so you obviously believe there was a solution. Someone else found that solution before you. I already told you… it’s been a long time and I wasn’t just waiting for things to happen.”

“There is no dispute on that” he exhaled, already running low on ideas. “You have always complained about the smell in the fish market during the summer. I think I could…”

“The traders have been using designed talismans to deal with the smell for years now.”

“Talismans… Wasn’t it cheating?”

“It is cheating, but it is also useful.”

Jiang Cheng was no kidding when he said there was nothing to be done. He had dealt with everything and Wei Wuxian couldn’t be more proud of him. He was right all along. His younger brother had become the sect leader he had always known he would be and he didn’t even need his help. Jiang Yanli would be proud too. He only hoped she could see it.

Wei Wuxian was looking at him with so much pride that he could feel himself burning into flames any second now. It was the same look he used in Jiang Cheng’s ascension ceremony as sect leader, with the same shade of sorrow and it had to stop because after so long, it was the least thing Jiang Cheng wanted. 

“Is there dirt in my face? Stop looking.”

“Sorry, it’s just… You checked every box.”

“And you didn’t think I could do it?” He challenged the other to agree with his derogatory comment once again, but Wei Wuxian just smiled back at him. 

“Are you kidding? I would bet Lan Zhan’s money on you” he laughed. 

The mere mention of the Second Jade was enough to grant Wei Wuxian the death glare he was going for. 

“I’m tragically poor. It has to be his money” he laughed again.

“All right… Since you have everything handled, I have no choice” he smirked, already fixing his expression and cleaning his throat to go further on their game. “I can teach the kids all the dangers of demonic cultivation. I can tell them how…”

“No.”

“Come one, Jiang Cheng!” he whined.  “I’m the best person to do it! I’m living proof of everything that can go wrong when someone…”

“Your life is so awful right now. So awful: war hero, inventor of a new branch of cultivation, famous in all Jianghu. Married with the second ranked bachelor of your generation, one of the twin jades and Chief cultivator.  Freeloader in Clouds Recess. Get to have the best of two worlds: can go where the trouble is like a rogue cultivator and can go back to a powerful sect like a master. Adventure, fame, power and even love ” he listed. “Such a tragedy indeed. It won’t instigate a bunch of thirteen years old stupid kids to do stupid things at all.”

That was not the list Wei Wuxian was going for when he made the silly suggestion.  It started as a game and it felt natural the way he teased and Jiang Cheng reacted, but there was no way he was going to win this. He had lost his place in Pier Lotus a long time ago. Not really lost, he renounced it, so the place was given to someone else. 

“Your life isn’t bad either” it wasn’t more than a whisper, but Jiang Cheng heard it just fine and remembered Jin Ling’s words. There was tragedy and almost unbearable pain in his ‘ lonely miserable life’, but it wasn’t all of that. He was just so attached to the things and to the people he lost to look around and see everything else. And there was a lot to look at if he tried. He just had to practice. 

“No, it isn’t.”

“Jiang Cheng?!” Wei Wuxian was surprised with the admission. A good surprise. 

“‘Sect Leader Jiang’” he corrected, remembering to keep the distance between them.  

“Yes… Sect Leader” he repeated with fondness and had to restrain himself from bumping on the other man, like they did as kids. “I can’t believe you eat those delicious dumplings everyday!”

“I don’t. How old do you think I am? Twelve?”

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian was a genius with many talents, but the ability to remain silent was not one of them. Especially now that the newest revelation was still humming in the back of his mind. He had to do something about it, but hadn’t figured out what yet. His mind was moving faster than he could follow, reviewing the fragments of memories he had and trying to piece them together because that was something huge! How did he miss it? How did he let it happen? How could Jiang Cheng sacrifice himself to save the person responsible for destroying everything? He remembered how troubled the other boy was back then (yes, boy! they were both so young!) . How lost in his grief and despair. He remembered crying and yelling and Jiang Cheng’s hands on his throat… No, he couldn’t think about it right now.

The boys were taking their sweet time to join them at the dining room and Jiang Cheng was impassively drinking his tea, not giving any signal he was going to do anything to rush them, but showing how tormenting the waiting was for him too with how tight he was holding his cup. It was remarkable the small piece of porcelain hadn’t cracked yet. That cup was a hero!

Some small talk could distract them both. How could it get worse? That was what Wei Wuxian thought when he opened his mouth:

“Didn’t she like her present?”

“She? Present?”

“Yes. HER present. The terrible beast living here now. She was not wearing the collar” Wei Wuxian repeated and watched Jiang Cheng struggle with the information for a few seconds until he remembered the item attached to the note he received.

“Why would I give YOU a dog’s collar, Jiang Cheng? You don’t even have a dog” he let out a little giggle, because he had to make fun with his shidi’s insistence of not owing the dog that now lived in his private quarters and would not go away. The other man exhaled soundly.
“I see…” he lowered his eyes and placed his cup on the table in the most restrained way. “I can’t answer. I'm a sect leader, not your delivery boy. I’ll have someone bringing the beast here so you can ask…’

“No-no-no-no! Please, don’t do it” but before he could finish his sentence, he saw a small smirk. It was in the corner of his former shidi, who was also letting his satisfaction show. “Are you making fun of me?”

Jiang Cheng looked back at him, dead serious and mostly annoyed with the latest demonstration of Wei Wuxian’s drama ™. Then he rolled his eyes™. That was all so silly.

“You caught me there” he snorted, fixed himself at his place and took a few lotus seeds that were in a bow on the table. Yeah, he missed that. He missed a-Cheng caustic sense of humor that didn’t sound funny at all and how it would always put him back at his place. That’s how they worked together, always provoking and pushing each other.

The interaction was so familiar that he let out a “I forgot what a little shit you are” while peeling the first lotus seed and throwing it in his mouth.

When he looked up again, the fleeting lightness in the other man’s mood was gone, replaced by a vexed frown. Jiang Cheng was far from pleased, but he didn’t contest the statement and Wei Wuxian didn’t push it. Instead, he jumped back at the latter subject.

“Why don’t you? Have a dog, I mean” he asked casually.

“Because…” he jerked his shoulder. “It wasn’t because of you. You left. I didn't have to keep any promise anymore ” he began with that statement, because he knew how Wei Wuxian’s brain worked. The genius. The mártir. The saint. It was all about him. Always! Wei Wuxian would always stand so tall over everybody else that he would get all the merit but also all the blame and Jiang Cheng knew it quite well, because he would blame his brother too, even when he - and Jiang Cheng could only see it in hindsight - had no control of what happened.

It was honestly offensive, thinking that the possibility of “owning a dog” would fix anything. However, it was the kind of ‘look at the bright side’ kind of thought Wei Wuxian would find comfort in. “What if you lost your parents, lost your siblings and had to rebuild your sect alone, with a crying baby in your arms and his poisonous family watching you and taking note of every weakness they can use against you? Now you get to have a pet. Isn’t it nice?”

Wei Wuxian would find strawberries while hanging in an abyss and enjoy the succulent fruits while waiting for death. Jiang Cheng would question how anyone could eat anything while in a hopeless situation.

“I had a lot to do after… I’ve been busy. Really busy. Owning a dog was not on top of my list of priorities and since I’m not a genius and I still can’t understand the Jiang motto of doing the fucking impossible, I had to focus on things that were very possible and withing my grasp”.

Nightless City. Jiang Cheng didn’t dare say it, but Wei Wuxian knew quite well when he left the scene in his past life and what a big mess he left behind. So many people died… Yanli died. And there was no body, so no one was sure if he had died. He didn't delve into it, because it was not in his character to stay tangled to the past, but he knew about the searches. He knew Lan Zhan would keep going wherever chaos was in hope to find him. And Jiang Cheng… Well, he heard about the demoniac cultivators too.

The new branch of cultivation he created to survive and protect his family became a curse. That was part of his legacy and it was out in the world to be used by desperate people but also for evil cruel people and his meeting with Xue Yang made it clear.

He squeezed his eyes shut to force the handful of nightmare images to back of his mind and runned away to another place.

“You did quite well for someone with such obvious limitations” he mocked the other’s self pity. He knew Wen Ning’s words were echoing there, alongside with Madam Yu’s critics and Jiang Fengmian reprimands, but there was no refuting Jiang Cheng when he was like that. He would only feel patronized, so the best way, the ways that worked countless times over the years, was mocking.

“Yeah, my parents would be proud of all my accomplishments, right? Do-not-go-there” he asserted slowly, because he was too old for those childlike games.
Wei Wuxian wanted to say it again, because uncle Jiang and Madan Yu would be proud of him! There was no way they wouldn’t! Yunmeng Jiang was bigger and stronger than before and a-Cheng did it all by himself!

“I’m not sure. Madam Yu had very high standards…” and he got Jiang Cheng’s stunned eyes on him just like he wanted. “There is no way her son couldn’t do it all and take care of a little dog. Come on, a-Cheng! It can’t be that difficult.”

“You know nothing! A dog is a lot of work. You have to feed them and bathe them and train them. And they don’t always get what you teach the first time around and you have to discipline them again and again. And I had Jin Ling for all of that.”

“Are you comparing your dear nephew with a dog?”

“I would never do that. Fairy is far better trained than a-Ling. He doesn’t go around causing trouble or talking back to his elders.”

“If Jin Ling is like a puppy for you, I guess it’s a good thing I named him or else…”

“Or else what?” Jing Cheng would defend his puppies’ names to the day he died. They were perfectly cute, appropriate names and not prostitutes' names. “You are the one who named the poor kid after your teenage crush. How stupid!”

“I did not! It means orchid! It's a beautiful name!”

“It's a girly name. I wanna see Jin Ling’s face when he found out he was named after Haguang-jun. He will hate the name even more!”
Wei Wuxian’s first reaction was wanting to punch his brother, because the name he chose for shijie´s baby peacock was the most perfect name, but as soon as that thought dropped, he remembered her baby was just an idea when he chose the name. Jiang Yanli was not there to announce her son’s courtesy name when the time came, but he ended up with the name Wei Wuxian chose anyway.

“Who does he think chose his courtesy name?” he asked cautiously.

The question hit Jiang Cheng in the nose. He was not happy with the question. He was only vaguely annoyed before, but now he was really aggrieved, because the answer was pretty much obvious and the question was an astute way to call him a liar and call him a thief. That was another thing he took from Wei Wuxian and now the other man would make him confess it.

“Not you” he spat it out as something bitter. “He is the Jin heir. The Jin heir named by the Yiling Patriarch? There was a snowball chance in hell it would happen. Neither was I going to let anyone choose another name, because a-jie would never forgive me, so said it was me. So I said I chose that stupid girly name for my nephew. But you can take back the credit now that you are no longer the public enemy #1. A-Ling hates the name anyway. He can complain with you next time.”

Well, he has done it already. Wei Wuxian heard Jin Rulan complain about his courtesy name and Wei Wuxian made sure to explain to his illiterate nephew the poetry in his name. He also told Jin Ling the story behind it. That it was Jiang Cheng’s idea and he remembers Jin Ling’s thoughtful expression. That was not the story the boy was told before, and if Wei Wuxian had paid more attention, he would have asked about the missing pieces, but he forgot about the sixteen years. He was out for so long, but the game kept going without him. Only with his empty shadow. Now that he was back, they all had to move to make space for him and he didn’t know all the accommodations that had to be done while he was not there.
In highsight, telling the story about the last meal they had was probably what granted Wei Wuxian his invitation to the birthday celebration at Lotus Pier. Jin Ling wouldn't feel like he could meddle to fix what was broken if he didn’t have an idea of what was like before they parted their ways.

He wanted to thank Jiang Cheng for cleaning the mess after him once more and for making sure Yanli’s kid was given the name they discussed, but no word coming out of his mouth would convince the other man of his sincerity. That line about ‘taking back the credit’… He wasn’t trying to accuse Jian Cheng of anything, but it seems his brother found himself guilty anyway. Not just found himself guilty, but decided Wei Wuxian blamed him and that his judgment was unfair. Jin Ling accused him of always assuming the worst about his uncle, but the same could be said about Jiang Cheng.

It was very frustrating dealing with someone like his shidi. Someone that would always find himself lacking. No matter the significance of his accomplishments, he would always know he could have done more and he could have done better and he would project his judgment into the world and get defensive as a result, because that was ‘not enough’ but it was the ‘best he could do’.

Well… how worse things could get?

“And you Jiang Cheng, when are you taking credit for what you did? It was your idea” he poked the purple tiger with a stick and like he imagined, the question made Jiang Cheng angrier. Past the point of angry-yelling. The sect leader looked back at him with contempt, like a predator ready to attack and the past demonic cultivator braced himself for the impact... that never came. He watched his former brother’s face while he reigned over his emotions, all his ferocity controlled before he opened his mouth.

“And what should I take credit for, hum? What did I accomplish that day? Do you even remember what happened? Do you…” he stopped mid sentence before his sorrow got the best of him. He wanted to gain his brother back that day, but Wei Wuxian had found new people he cared about as much as the Jiangs. In the end, Wei Wuxian still walked away and his poor nephew got the stupid name. “Nevermind”.

He couldn’t fully understand what was happening in Jiang Cheng’s head. This time Jiang Cheng didn’t explode in harsh words, but the fury was still there. He just didn’t want to fight anymore and it was scary.

That was the exact opposite of what happened in the ancestral hall. That time, Jiang Cheng was also offended with the misplaced familiarity Wei Wuxian assumed by going to the sacred place, a much more serious offense, let it be said, but that wasn’t really the point. That time, the sect leader was full of fury and no apology would be enough. He wanted… no, he needed to fight, but he got something different. He got someone who was too tired of fighting. Unfortunately, Jiang Cheng got into another fight that night.

He would go first and his brother would follow. That was how they worked. There weren't many times he was the one left behind, but he remembers chasing after Jiang Cheng the day he made that promise. That subject needed to be solved or else he might lose his brother. The gossip and lies would build their way between them and poison everything. He saw a-Cheng leaving and it felt like the beginning of the end and he would not have it.

Now he wondered if he did wrong that day. Maybe it would be easier if he had let Jiang Cheng drift away from him. If he hadn’t chased after him with promises he couldn’t fulfill. What good was that promise after all? It was still hurting his brother after so many years. If he had let Jiang Cheng… Not only Jiang Cheng, if he had let the Jiang siblings go sooner, if he had managed to put some distance between them like Madan Yu wanted, they would be better. They wouldn't have risked themselves for him.

And even when he decided to separate from them to keep them safe, it was his hesitation that destroyed everything. It was his inability to stay away that killed Jin Zixuan, condemned the Wens to death and made Jin Ling an orphan.

“The kids are taking too long. I’m going after them. And I don’t want to dragge those two boys into our mess, so we are done” the sect leader stood up and started to move and Wei Wuxian panicked a little because he was about to watch his fleeting brother leaving again, but this time he couldn’t really think of anything he could do or say to make him stay. He couldn't even think of a good reason to allow himself to go after him.

Jiang Cheng felt like a coward running like that, which was ironic because he hunted down Wei Wuxian’s ghost for years. If Wei Wuxian could just drop the bomb about the core transfer on him and then vanish and never talk about it again, he could decide when and if he would ever talk about how he lost his core. Wei Wuxian had composed himself and they stayed alone without killing each other for an acceptable amount of time. It was sufficient to appease Shizui and to show a-Ling everything was fine.

Their small talk went back to the past and that was a place he wasn’t ready to visit with anybody. The past was precious to him. He treasured those happy years with his family and his sect whole and unharmed and believed to be the sole protector of that time long lost. He didn’t know if he could trust the man he left behind to do it with him. On the other hand, maybe he wanted to… Maybe he wanted to have someone alongside him.

He was still ruminating on all the things Wei Wuxian said the last time they met and trying to accommodate them.

It was not easy to reconcile what Wei Wuxian said that night in the temple with how he behaved after and what he said a few days ago just put another twist on it. It was frankly impossible. But how he felt about his /former/ brother was also impossible, because he hated the man and also missed him. He wanted his companion, but he couldn’t trust him.

When he went back to the room, he found his brother looking absolutely miserable, but still seated at the same place waiting. The only time he remembered Wei Wuxian behaving quietly was right after he arrived at Pier Lotus. There was a couple weeks of silence until the young boy got acclimated. It seems they were really back at the beginning. They still could redeem much of their past and take a few shortcuts, but they would still need to learn who the other person had become and how to talk with each other.

Jiang Cheng has never been the hopeful type. He knew perfectly well he was not a child anymore. He became bitter and skeptical, but also unwavering and wiser. He knew nothing would ever be the same. He knew he would never trust fully and with no reservations as he did before he was betrayed and that all his decisions were hard to make now because he had people depending on him. It would never be the same…but yet:

“What are you doing?” he asked. “Now that you walk with the Lan’ do you need a formal invitation?”

“Your yelling will do” he jumped and was next to the sect leader in a second, happy not to be left behind.

***

The boys were cooking.

Dinner was ready, but Jin Lind said he wanted to make something special for his uncle and asked the cook for the ingredients.Sect Leader Jiang would have the same food his disciples and the rest of the staff had on regular days. Jin Ling would also eat the same food when he was in Lotus Pier, except on special occasions. However, the cook was already familiar with people invading her kitchen, so she didn’t complain. She just pointed out it was already dinner time and the ingredients a-Ling asked… It would take too long to cook that dish.

The teenager insisted, so she just gave him what he wanted. She knew there was no way her sect hungry leader would calmly wait for hours and she didn’t want to be there when he found his way to the kitchen.

“Are you sure this is the right proportion?” asked Shizui, while peeling a sweet corn cob, because Jin Ling had chopped a lot of pork ribs and not quite so much lotus roots. He had already discarded the water used to blanch the ribs and they were boiling the water to add the ingredients that were arranged on the table: ginger, peanuts, red dates and wolfberries.

“Absolutely. No one eats the lotus roots” he answered. He was putting the pork ribs in the water with the other ingredients. There. Now they just had to wait for the fire and time to make their thing.
The Jin Sect Leader was spoiled rotten by his two uncles and grew up with endless luxury, but, strange as it seems, the boy knew his way around the kitchen, something Lan Shizui didn’t know about and that he would never have guessed.

“If you say so.”

“I do. You eat them, but only because you don’t eat meat” Jin Ling took a slice of melon. “Wei Wuxian talks about this soup and my uncle cooks it for me, but it's just soup. My uncle says it's his favorite, but nowadays he only takes it once a year, on my mom’s birthday. And Wei Wuxian… He talks about it a lot, but eating, not so much” he explained. He remembered his uncle cooking it a lot for him when he was a child and they cooking together as he was growing up, but it stopped when Jin Ling deemed himself too old to be entertained like that and started looking for more dangerous activities.

“Maybe it makes them sad because it reminds them of your mother.”

“Or they never really liked soup, they just liked pork ribs. And they took the soup because it was my mother's cooking and they loved her.”

“I’m sure your mother would cook something else for them if they asked.”

“I know she would, but they would never ask.”

“It would be easier if they did, ” the older boy remarked.

“Yes, it would,” he breathed out. “I can’t read people’s minds”
Lan Shizui knew the other boy was still upset with his part in whatever happened, but he also knew Jing Ling was only trying to help and there was no way any of his uncles would hold it against him.

“I like steamed turnip cake” said the Lan disciple. If Jin Ling was frustrated with people around him that couldn’t make up their minds and be clear about it, Shizui could be different. He could be direct and true and say exactly what he wanted.

“Do you think I will cook for you?”

“It would be lovely, thanks. Only mushrooms. No shrimp or pork” he answered with a large smile.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng heard only part of the conversation while they were reaching the kitchen in the family area and they didn’t have time to say anything because as soon as Jin Ling saw then at the entrance, he put his two uncles to help with the cooking:

“I thought you guys would never come! Here” said Jin Ling, taking the sweet corn’s basket in front of Shizui and pushing it to his uncles. “Do something!”

Jiang Cheng looked around and let out a breath when he saw what his nephew was cooking: pork ribs soup with lotus roots. The boy’s mother's signature dish. The dish he learnt how to cook so his nephew would know how it feels eating the food someone made specially for him. Food made for someone who wasn’t being paid to cook. The dish he cooked every year on his sister's birthday to celebrate with his nephew. The dish he cooked with Jin Ling a few times, but obviously not enough times, because the teenager just decided to cook it for dinner. That fucking dish took forever to get ready. Like… really forever. And they were already past dinner time.

He appreciated the boy’s effort. He was just like his mother that way. His sweet boy believed in magic and didn’t care at all for how the natural world worked, because there was no ‘emergency’ pork ribs soup to fix what was broken. Yes, her sister used that trick a lot, but only because Jiang Yanli always had a pot of her soup ready, so all she had to do was reheat it. It was some kind of magic: the magic of anticipation. You couldn’t just improvised that dish.
“What? Am I doing anything wrong? I remembered to clean the ribs so the broth …” argued Jin Ling when he saw his uncle judging eyes on his cooking.

“There is nothing wrong… if what you want is having pork ribs soup for breakfast tomorrow. Because that is about the time it is going to be ready. You have to cook it for hours! And we were supposed to have dinner more than one hour ago.”

“But jiujiu…”

“No ‘buts’. Let’s just cook something else. Go wash rice. I’ll get the meat.”

“Yes, jiujiu.”

“I don’t know what got to you, a-Ling. You know how long it takes for the soup to get ready.”

“I know, I know. It 's just… I thought it would work” he looked at Wei Wuxian like someone that was betrayed. “Did you lie to me? You said my mother cooked it the night you two agreed to be brothers.”

“She did cook it! ” he looked to the other man asking for help and Jiang Cheng sighed.

“He is not lying. We ate soup that night” he confirmed. The night they agreed to be brothers. So that’s the memory Jin Ling was trying to replicate. That manipulative brat! “We ate soup many nights. Your mother was always cooking soup. That's the reason she always had soup ready.”

“Really?” asked Wei Wuxian puzzled.

“Yes! Do you think a-jie had a magic pot that cooks faster?”

“Well…” Wei Wuxian looked to the side. Speaking like that it really sounded stupid, but that’s what the first impression he had of Jiang Yanli. That her kindness could fix everything and he never changed his mind. The kitchen was her training grounds and her pots were her weapons. If cultivators could defy the natural laws with their spiritual swords, she could do it too with her cooker.

“Just finish what you are doing” Jiang Cheng said and gave the other two boys the other direction for the dish they would cook.

Wei Wuxian went back to his basket and while peeling the corns, he looked around. That was the same kitchen. Almost the same kitchen. He remembered the three spaces at the table. He babbling. Jiang Yanli cooking. And Jiang Cheng grumping. That's how they spent so many evenings when the adults had something more important to do. Those were the best days, because meal time with Madan Yu and uncle Jiang were always troubled.

“Are you ok, senior Wei?” asked Lan Shizui because Wei Wuxian had gone quiet for too long.

“Yeah… Fine. I was just wondering about all these corn” he said the first thing in his head, because explaining to the boy he was remembering the past would send them to melancholy land and he didn’t like to travel there. “Jiejie’s soup didn’t…”

“Do you have anything against corn?” battle Jin Ling. His tone and energy said he would champion corn to the end and Wei Wuxian didn’t intend to upset him even further with the question. He was just trying to deflect Shizui’s question so the other boy wouldn't get worried, but that made him bump into over-sensitive and hurt Jin Ling. It was just difficult walking around the minefield that was Jin Ling’s temper without a map.

“You don’t have to eat any of it, Wei Wuxian. It will be a side dish, '' explained Jiang Cheng. “You do like sweet corn, right Lan Shizui?”

“Yes, sect leader.”

“Good. We can add some carrots and mushrooms for you too” he added, remembering the boy was a Lan, so he most likely would not eat the pork ribs with honey and soy sauce he was cooking. The sweet sauce would work nicely with some steamed vegetables. Being a Lan, the boy would probably be satisfied with plain rice with no seasoning at all, but there was no way he was going to dishonor his ancestors by serving a guest that kind of atrocious food.

“It would be great. Thanks.”

“I like corn too! I could eat only corn for days! Months even. I just don’t remember corn in the recipe” Wei Wuxian was back at the conversation. It was nice that Jiang Cheng was making sure the Lan teenager also got something of his taste to eat, but how dare he just push him to the side so easily!
“We are not making my sister’s soup anymore.”

“But that's what Jin L… Sect Lea… your nephew was cooking before” he insisted, not knowing how best to call Yanli’s kid to avoid another explosion.

Jin Ling looked back at Wei Wuxian with wariness. He was still on probation because he was stupid and he would do stupid things that hurt his uncle, but it looked like said uncle still wanted some kind of relationship with him. The lotus seeds were proof of that. And if his uncle wanted something, he would not get in his ways.
“Hum… I like corn, so jiujiu added it to the soup for me” he answered aloud, but he was also saying “I didn’t get to take my mother’s soup. I only know my uncle’s soup”.

“Yeah. Bird food for my bird-brained nephew” Jiang Cheng taunt. The pride in his nephew’s voice let him flustered and he was not good at taking compliments.

“Funny, but I remember it differently from when I was a kid” he replied.

“Do you want it to be jiujiu’s pure gold for his most precious child?” He repeated the argument he used with a sick four years old child that didn’t want to eat anything, not knowing it would be used against him someday. “I don’t know what is worse, really.”

“Don’t worry, jiujiu. Everybody already knows you love me” Jin Ling smirked and Jiang Cheng’s heart almost burst with the declaration given freely and with no reservations. His child knew he loved him. He was far from the best parental figure, but Jin Ling knew he loved him. It was much more than he could say of his father.

“Spoiled brat!” he shouted back, before allowing himself to get too emotional. “You can’t go around saying something like that around people! You are a sect leader now!”

“Yes, jiujiu” he went back to Lan Shizui and asked if he wanted help with the vegetables.

“Is this enough?” asked Wei Wuxian, getting near Jiang Cheng with his basket.

“Yes. Just leave it there. They get really really fast, so I’ll put them last.

“And you said he wasn’t a picky eater” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

“He likes corn. This is hardly being picky,” Jiang Cheng retorted. “If I recall correctly, you didn’t like radish and you had Jiejie spoon feeding you numerous times just because.”

Jiang Cheng got outraged at first with Wei Wuxian pointing his very spoiled finger to his also spoiled nephew, but remembering the past they shared had this strange effect that made him feel the need to fill some of the blank spots Wei Wuxian lost. That was the thing with siblings… they time-travel with you through life, but his brother and his sister left him alone. However, now Wei Wuxian was somehow back and he had a lot to catch up. And Jin Ling was the living image of all the time that kept them apart, but also the bride that could reunite them.

“He went through a phase where everything had to be yellow, even his food. I think it was when he realized he was the only peacock chick living among frogs. And he was always the ‘most precious child in the world’ when he was sick and I had to do whatever to convince him to eat something. I do not miss those nights.”
Wei Wuxian just listened and went silent.

“What?”

“I’m just picturing it,” he said with a quiet rueful voice and a sad smile that didn’t fit his persona.

“To make it more colorful for you, picture a lot of fluid. Like… a lot.”

“Groce! We are cooking here, a-Cheng!”

“And when he was teething… so much drooling. I still don’t know how something that little could produce so much saliva”.

Chapter Text

7. Flying Kite

A small group of Lan disciples arrived at Pier Lotus no more than a couple of weeks later. They followed a resentful ghost across the border and coincidentally encountered a group of Jiang disciples who were also on a night hunt. The fact that Wei Wuxian was leading the group with Lan Shizui was merely another happy coincidence; no one had lured the ghost to engineer this meeting.

Over the next few months, the number of ghosts and fierce corpses crossing the borders increased significantly, almost as if someone were doing it intentionally.

Wei Wuxian was just as subtle as any Jiang disciple. Jiang Cheng observed that this was a common trait among those who 'attempted the impossible': they lived in a world shaped by their beliefs, where reality was less important. They were all flying kites, and Jiang Cheng felt like the heavy rock keeping them from drifting away into the sky.

However, Wei Wuxian's activities posed no risk to civilians and provided good practice for the junior disciples, so Jiang Cheng did nothing to stop him.

He heard a knock on the door and called for the person to enter. Jiang Cheng glanced at the papers but didn't move.

"The night hunt was two days ago. Why are you still here?" he asked.

"The kids wanted to explore. There's a lot to see, and they don't travel much. I hope you don't mind," Wei Wuxian replied.

"It's not like I could do anything about it," Jiang Cheng muttered, returning to his work.

"What did you say?" Wei Wuxian asked, not catching Jiang Cheng's comment.

"I said you didn't ask permission to wander around with your husband last time, so don't act so apologetic now," Jiang Cheng retorted, setting down his brush and giving Wei Wuxian his full attention.

"Did you know about..." Wei Wuxian chuckled awkwardly and scratched his head.

"I'm the Master of Pier Lotus. Of course, I know everything that happens around here."

"You see, I just wanted to show Lan Zhan..." Wei Wuxian started.

"I know what you wanted," Jiang Cheng interrupted. "What do you want now, Wei Wuxian? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Time for a quick break," Wei Wuxian declared, placing a box on the desk and opening it with a wide smile. "Look what I got!"

The box was filled with various types of mooncakes from Yunmeng's most traditional and prestigious pastry shop. Jiang Cheng glanced at them, unimpressed, and then back at Wei Wuxian.

"Don't you eat mooncakes anymore, A-Cheng? It would be odd, considering the Jiang clan still has a tab there," Wei Wuxian remarked, knowing Jiang Cheng frequented the shop.

"Do I have to pay for those?" Jiang Cheng asked, not because he would go broke over a few cakes, but because it reminded him of how Wei Wuxian often took what he wanted, leaving Jiang Cheng to foot the bill.

"No, that’s Lan Zhan’s treat.. My husband is quite wealthy. I'm his problem now," Wei Wuxian explained with a grin, enjoying his brother's discomfort, before returning to the cakes. "I didn't realize this shop was still open!"

"The shop has been there for five generations! Of course, it's still open. And of course, I still have a tab there. Why wouldn't I buy sweets from the best shop in town?"

Wei Wuxian didn't want to explain how his memories of Yunmeng were reduced to ashes in his nightmares. Every piece of Yunmeng he found intact was a marvelous surprise to him. Jiang Cheng always focused on the sorrowful parts, not on the miracle of Yunmeng's rebirth. So, Wei Wuxian changed the subject.

"Well, I haven't been around, so I didn't know. Go ahead, take one. Or two. Or all of them. I have another box I'm taking with me to Gusu. They have all the traditional fillings... and a new mooncake with snow skin and sweet corn custard. They even used a mold with a peony. I wonder where they got that idea..."

"You know exactly where they got it," Jiang Cheng said, recalling conversations about his nephew's food preferences growing up. He picked a mooncake with lotus seed paste filling, cutting it in half and taking one piece while Wei Wuxian took the other. Both knew they were remembering the times they shared mooncakes with mixed nuts filling, which had been Jiang Yanli's favorite.

"Jin Ling is their best customer. He's spent a lot of Jin's gold there," Jiang Cheng added. "It's no surprise they made a signature mooncake for him. They even used paper gold to decorate a limited set of 'pure gold mooncakes' for Jin Ling's tenth birthday."

"Are you sure you didn't commission those?" Wei Wuxian teased. He knew about the four hundred spiritual nets Jiang Cheng had bought for his nephew's debut. Everyone knew about them and knew Jiang Cheng would go to great lengths to spoil his nephew.

"I didn't need to. I know it's hard to believe, because you only knew the moody teenager, but Jin Ling was the cutest little kid. He was the most charming child too, flirting and giggling with everyone. Everyone wanted to make him laugh or give him things. Even Sect Leader Yao was nice to him and gave him sweets."

"Maybe they wanted to please you by proxy."

"Sect Leader Yao?"

"I see your point," Wei Wuxian said. It was widely known that the fastest way to Jiang Cheng's good graces was through Jin Ling, though Sect Leader Yao was neither strategic, polite, nor sensible. "What about you? Do you have a signature mooncake I don't know about? Any limited edition?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not a child," Jiang Cheng replied, finishing his pastry.

"Not anymore, but you were once. It's a fifth-generation shop, isn't it?"

"I was never a cute child," Jiang Cheng stated bluntly. Wei Wuxian had been there during his childhood; he should have remembered that Jiang Cheng was never carried around Yunmeng on his father's shoulders. But Wei Wuxian's memory was flawed, and Jiang Cheng didn't want to ruin his happy memories with his nephew by drawing comparisons.

"Do you think they would make me a signature mooncake?"

"I doubt it," Jiang Cheng said, returning to his reports. The break was over, but before he resumed work, there was one matter he needed to address. "Where have you been staying?"

"The inn near the noodle shop," Wei Wuxian answered, knowing Jiang Cheng already knew.

"We have quarters here for visiting disciples, if you didn't know," Jiang Cheng stated matter-of-factly. It wasn't an invitation, but if Wei Wuxian continued to wander around with junior disciples, they could stay at Pier Lotus. That was the purpose of having quarters for visiting disciples.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Now, go away. I have work to do."

***

Wei Wuxian never announced his arrivals, but Jiang Cheng, as the sect leader, always knew what was happening. Yet, he chose not to intervene, wanting to see how long it would last. His former brother could come and go as he pleased, as long as he didn’t cause trouble or disrupt anything—which he hadn't done so far. The Jiang disciples were far from fragile; they could handle Wei Wuxian. The former first disciple quickly adjusted to the semi-ordered chaos that defined the Jiang Sect, like a duck to water. Or like a kite among other kites, tethered to the same immovable rock.

Usually, the Jiang Sect would arrange everything for the tea shipment to Gusu. However, by the end of that winter, a representative was sent to collect Lan Qiren’s special tea.

“You claimed to have no responsibilities at your new sect,” he grumbled when Wei Wuxian hopped out of the boat with a sheepish smile.

“Now I do. The old man couldn’t miss the chance to send me away from Cloud Recesses,” he laughed.

Jiang Cheng could imagine Lan Qiren seizing the opportunity to send his nephew’s spouse away for some peace. He didn’t plan to tell Wei Wuxian, but he received a letter from Lan Qiren himself. After a cordial introduction reminiscing about the past, Lan Qiren inquired whether his former first disciple was truly permitted to visit the sect. He was aware of all the night hunts that culminated in their trips to Yunmeng and didn’t want his nephew’s husband's habit of challenging everyone to jeopardize their sects' good relations.

Jiang Cheng thought he owed it to my former teacher for sharing the burden that is Wei Wuxian. He also remembered the cold winters at Cloud Recesses. It was so chilly there! No one accustomed to Yunmeng’s warmth would find comfort spending winter in such a place.

“I can’t blame the old man.”

“And does your husband agree?” It wasn’t his concern, but it seemed odd that Lan Wangji would allow his uncle to dismiss Wei Wuxian like that.

“I wouldn’t be here if Lan Zhan hadn't spoken to his uncle. Grand Master Lan takes his tea very seriously.”

“Is Hanguang-jun already tired of you?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Lan Zha—”

“Nope. I don’t need to hear it,” Jiang Cheng cut him off, moving ahead with heavy steps, while Wei Wuxian followed behind, hopping.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear about—”

“Yes. Shut up.”

Not long after, Jiang Cheng found his former first disciple knocking kites down with his young disciples. Jiang Cheng didn’t play favorites, but he cherished these children. Not simply because they were children, but because they were the first generation born after the massacre. They didn’t experience the war or the turbulent years that followed. They were born into a sect that had largely rebuilt itself, and Jiang Cheng was proud of what they had created, though he would never admit it.

Sometimes Wei Wuxian stayed in the village; other times, he lodged in the disciples’ quarters alongside a visiting disciple in white who was almost always with him. It felt peculiar because Wei Wuxian had never shared quarters with the disciples, not even as a disciple himself. Perhaps as a child, he wouldn’t have minded sharing, just as he didn’t mind now. It was yet another pointless conflict that his parents had waged, and their children had lost.

Jiang Cheng often ate alone in his office or with his disciples and staff. There was no point in dining in the family quarters when he had no family to dine with. Occasionally, Wei Wuxian would join him there. Initially, he would only wave from his seat, but after a few times, Jiang Cheng invited him to sit next to him.

“Stop putting spicy oil on your disciples’ food,” Jiang Cheng reprimanded him. It pained him to watch those poor kids, their faces red and sweating from the spicy food. He even instructed his staff to cook more vegetables separately from the meat and prepare milder dishes to suit their delicate palates.

“Back when we studied at Clouds Recess, we had to endure their atrocious food!”

“There’s no written rule that says people here must eat spicy food.”

“It’s tradition.”

“And since when has tradition become so important to you? You didn’t follow the Lan diet when you were a student there, and I bet you still don’t follow it now. So stop tormenting the kids.”

“That’s no fun…” he pouted, but used the opportunity to propose something else. “Let’s say that whenever you visit Cloud Recesses, you’re welcome to the Jingshi if you’re not up for fasting.”

“Tempting, but…” Eating in Lan Wangji’s private residence held no allure for him. Even if he could wager that the ‘Silence Room’ was no longer silent, fasting seemed preferable to facing any of that. Besides, he could always dine in Caiyi Town; there were good restaurants there.

“Before you say ‘no,’ it’s not just Lan Zhan and me. Sizhui and Jingyi will be there too. Jin Ling is also invited. Lan Zhan appreciates that you adjusted the menu so his disciples’ internal organs wouldn’t melt.”

Jiang Cheng nearly choked on his food at the mention of Hanguang-jun being appreciative of something he did.

When he visited Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian was telling the truth: the other’s cooking wasn’t bad. Jiang Cheng also saw the pond where Wei Wuxian had planted the lotus seeds he had received. They wouldn’t bloom this spring, but the promise was there.

A special invitation arrived at Cloud Recesses for the Spring Festival in Yunmeng, and Lan Qiren gladly accepted the invitation. Less importantly, Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui attended as well.

“How, Jiang Cheng, how?” Wei Wuxian whined, though good-naturedly curious. He remained intrigued by his shidi and his uncle-in-law’s relationship. Lan Qiren lacked any trace of fun, yet he seemed to have a soft spot for one irritable grape. They would probably sit together, sipping tea and judging the world—that was too much power!

“Please tell me youaren’t… court—” he cut himself off, his mind conjuring images of his baby brother and his old teacher, covering his eyes to erase them. “He’s old! And related to Lan Zha…”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Jiang Cheng elbowed Wei Wuxian’s side, the gesture feeling so natural that he didn’t realize he hadn’t done it in seventeen years. “It’s a courtesy visit. How often have you seen me at Cloud Recesses? Or other sect leaders? It’s perfectly normal.”

“Not with Grand Master Lan. He never goes anywhere unless he absolutely has to!”

“Pier Lotus is lovely. Maybe he enjoys it here,” Jiang Cheng smirked, a hint of satisfaction evident. Lan Qiren usually found himself too occupied to accept invitations, preferring not to leave his beloved mountains unless the destination was particularly appealing. Yet, he had visited Pier Lotus a few times over the years to admire the flowers, a rare honor.

“You’re full of bullshit!”

By then, Jiang Cheng realized arrangements had been made to keep the little dog confined to the family quarters whenever Wei Wuxian was around. His sect was indeed a well-oiled machine, and things fell into place even when he wasn’t barking orders. His disciples enjoyed playing with the puppy around Wei Wuxian. Well, not exactly around him—Wei Wuxian would station himself at one end of the training grounds with a few children, while another group held the dog nearly two hundred yards away at the entrance. The goal was to bring them closer together until the adult man finally petted the dog.

The white uniforms mingled with lilac and blue ones. The rule against interacting with Wei Wuxian seemed to apply only when Lan disciples were in Gusu; elsewhere, it posed no issue.

One day, Jiang Cheng entered the kitchen to find Wei Wuxian chatting happily with his cook. He even forgot to request his dinner be delivered to his office that evening, but Wei Wuxian brought it himself.

“Here, I made them myself,” Wei Wuxian entered the office with a plate of dumplings.

“I haven’t done anything wrong to deserve punishment with your cooking,” Jiang Cheng remarked, still focused on his report.

“I only helped with the filling and shaping. The first hundred dumplings weren’t really dumplings... But these turned out quite well,” he said proudly. Jiang Cheng glanced up, tried one, and conceded, “Not bad.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Not really. Do you want help?”

“I’m fine.”

“You work too much.”

“Is that so?” Jiang Cheng echoed, engrossed in his papers. He finished the dumpling and took another.

“Yes, you do.”

“And you don’t work at all.”

“I just offered to help!”

“Not your job,” Jiang Cheng reiterated, their agreement clear. Wei Wuxian could be around Pier Lotus, but Jiang Cheng constantly reminded himself that he was no longer part of the sect, entrusted with no important tasks that might tempt him to leave and never return.

“I know, I know,” Wei Wuxian sighed. It frustrated Jiang Cheng how he kept him at arm’s length. They exchanged pleasantries and discussed inconsequential matters, sometimes dining together or joining night hunts, but nothing more. They circled each other cautiously, neither moving forward nor back to their shared past—though Jiang Cheng often spoke of baby Jin Ling, toddler Jin Ling, and child Jin Ling, delighting in tales of his nephew, and Wei Wuxian delighted in listening.

“I’m a sect leader. That’s what I do. What would you prefer me to do? Take a nap? Go fishing?”

“Great idea! Tomorrow we can nap while fishing .”

“No can do. I’m going to Lanling, so I need to finish this by week’s end, review night hunt reports, and plan next month’s classes.”

“Lanling...?” Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened.

“Yes. Aren’t you?”

“Well, yes,” he admitted, feeling foolish. “But I would wait for you to leave, just in case.”

The last dumpling felt like a rock in Jiang Cheng’s throat.

He vividly recalled how tightly Jiang Yanli had clung to him when she died, yet it was as if he hadn’t been there at all. She only had eyes for Wei Wuxian. He had been worried and frightened too, but she hadn’t even squeezed his hand in return. She had chosen her A-Xian over everyone else.

He knew they were a trio, yes, but Wei Wuxian and Yanli had always formed their own duo, excluding him. They were warm, lovable people like their father, while he was harsh and difficult to love, like their mother. With their father, it was obvious—his eyes were always on Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng could try all he wanted, but he would never be enough. With his sister, it seemed she could love them both, yet ultimately she had made her choice.

Now that she could no longer choose, he finally had the opportunity to keep her all to himself and Jin Ling. But it wasn’t what she would have wanted, and it wasn’t the first time he had swallowed his pain so his sister could have what she desired.

“It’s her birthday,” he forced the words out. “And she loved you.”

“Jiang Ch—”

“I have work to do,” he cut him off, returning to his papers.

Wei Wuxian left without protest, grateful he had been interrupted before finishing his sentence. He didn’t know what he would have said. Could he even talk about Jiang Yanli without breaking down into ugly tears? It was his fault—everything was. Yanli had died because of him. He was always causing trouble for the people he cared about, but after Jin Zixuan’s death and the Wens’ execution, he hadn’t thought he had much left to lose.

Yet things could always get worse: his shijie had followed him onto the battlefield and sacrificed herself to save him. Jiang Cheng had witnessed it all.

That had been the price he paid for learning that his actions affected those around him. But he hadn’t paid it alone.

It was the worst thing that could happen, so he couldn’t blame Jiang Cheng for finally hating him in earnest.

He had been trying to find his way back, deluding himself into thinking he had made progress because Jiang Cheng offered little resistance. Yet he sensed his brother’s caution, as though Jiang Cheng were bracing himself for the next blow. He didn’t know how to fix it.

Perhaps it couldn't be fixed.

***

They met again in Lanling, and after so many years, the three siblings shared a mooncake filled with mixed nuts. Jin Ling got one piece too, but Jin Zixuan was left out because one mooncake was too small for five people. Tough luck. He had his piece on his birthday.

They burned incense, arranged the flowers and peaches on the altar, and prayed in silence. Jin Ling tried speaking and telling his mother’s plaque what was new, and so did Wei Wuxian, but Jiang Cheng kept quiet.

Jiang Cheng had done it with Jin Ling many times, and it got easier with time. He would talk to his sister's plaque as if she was really there and updated her about what was new at Pier Lotus and her baby boy. At first, all he wanted to do was yell, like the wounded beast he was. How could she leave him alone?

He only realized how flawed his idea was when his pain eased a little and he saw he wasn’t alone. Not really. Jin Ling was there too. And even if it was easy for him to believe his sister loved Wei Wuxian more and would always choose him, there was no way Jiang Yanli cared for Wei Wuxian more than she cared for her precious baby.

So what she did… maybe it wasn’t her choice. Maybe it was an act of reflex, because she wanted her brother safe - and he did almost the same when he distracted the guards - but it didn’t mean she wanted to abandon her newborn… or him. He knew that… He really did. He had entrusted her sister to Wei Wuxian before charging towards the guards. Yanli probably had the same thought about the one she was leaving behind, right? He just wanted one last conversation with his sister to make sure, so the doubt wouldn't burn a hole through his stomach.

Jin Ling lived in Lanling his first couple of years, and Jiang Cheng would visit as much as he could, until he found out the nannies weren’t taking good care of his only family. There was no way he would leave his nephew alone with those people anymore, so Jin Ling moved to Pier Lotus.

They would still make the trip to Lanling every year to celebrate Jiang Yanli’s birthday, and since Jin Ling was with him all the time, he couldn’t yell and curse to the heavens without scaring the kid. It forced him to sound cheerful in front of the child. The pretending actually helped, and he got used to it, but now it was back to being really hard, because having Wei Wuxian there made everything sore and tender again. So he left soon after they burned the incense. And he took Fairy with him.

Wei Wuxian understood the move and was ready to flee next, but Jin Ling held him in place, because they still had to cook pork rib soup. Hopefully, by the time the dish was ready, Jiang Cheng would be back, and they would eat together.

Their tradition also involved taking Yanli’s plaque from the memorial hall and bringing it to the kitchen, so she could watch them cook, and to the garden, so she could see the flowers.

“We would go to the garden, play games, and eat soup,” Jin Ling explained, his mother’s plaque secured against his chest as they walked to the kitchen.

“That’s how we celebrated her birthday too. Your uncle and I would go to the market to buy the mooncake, then we would watch your mom cook, and she would watch us playing, and we would eat together.”

“No one was thrown in the water?”

“Not your mother. She was untouchable.”

“But uncle wasn’t?” Jin Ling looked at the other man with one arched eyebrow.

“Your uncle was tough. He is tough. And he was really hard to please. It wasn’t easy making him smile.”

“And being thrown in the river in the beginning of winter would make him smile?”

“No, it only made him angry,” he grinded remembering the fuming little boy walking back to the house dripping wet. “Angry was the best I could get at times. But having your mom drying his hair and cuddling him after would make him happy,” he answered, remembering watching his baby brother napping on his sister's lap. Jiang Cheng used to be the grape jam of their siblings' sandwich. Without him, he and Yanli would be just two slices of toasted bread.

“What about my grandparents?”

“They weren’t always in the picture,” he cleared his throat, because it usually was better when they weren’t there. “You know, they had a lot to do, but they brought great presents.”

“ Jiujiu is a sect leader too. And he never missed my birthday or mom’s birthday. Even dad’s!” He wanted to say his shushu never missed a birthday either. His grandparents must have been really something if they could be worse than the most hated man in the Jianghu.

“Well… your jiujiu is something else. I don’t think he ever rests.”

“That’s not true! He used to nap with me all the time. Or he would put me to sleep and wait until I was sleeping to do something else. I think he tricked me.” Jin Ling’s expression was changing as he was speaking and realizing things might be a little different than he remembered.

“That’s another thing I wanted to see with my own eyes: the fearsome Sandu Shengshou putting a little child to sleep. He was no good with kids.”

“I’m not any kid. I’m his nephew!”

“Yeah yeah… you are right. Jiang Cheng told me how cute you were. Too bad you grew up to be an insufferable brat.”

“People aren’t assembling to plot my demise yet, so I guess you are the insufferable one here,” he changed his petulant posture with a few tentative steps and held the plaque tighter. “Do you think my mom would like me?”

“Your mom loved you! A lot!” he answered with raw desperation, and the next words almost choked him because they came with the memory of also trying to convince the boy’s uncle his father loved him. He didn’t remember his parents' faces, but he never doubted their love for him, and it was such an absurd idea that a parent wouldn’t love their children. However, he was probably the exception because people around him doubted that a lot.

“Why wouldn’t she? And your father too. All parents love their children! And you are their son! I heard even Sect Leader Yao fell victim to your mighty cuteness.”

“How was my uncle when he was a kid?”

“He was cute too. Like an angry kitten.”

“My jiujiu isn’t an angry kitten!”

“Not anymore,” his smile got smaller. “Do you…”

“Uncle will come back. He never missed my mother’s birthday.”

They arrived at the kitchen, placed Yanli’s plaque on a table, and started the work. The ingredients were already in place, and it was easy preparing the soup. Then they just had to wait and wait and wait until it was ready. And for that, Jin Ling fixed four talismans on the pot to set the timer and told Wei Wuxian they could go to the archery field.

“Why?”

“Showing mom what a great archer I am. Are you dumb? I told you. Then I’ll play the erhu to show her what a bad musician I am and show her my newest work of calligraphy and then we can go to the garden.”

“A man of the six arts. She must be proud,” he remarked, then continued with a smirk. “Aren’t you going to show her your office and all your hard work as sect leader?”

“I’d rather not,” he covered the plaque and said really low, “You saw my office! I can’t show that to my mom!”

“Why not?” he giggled and said very loudly, “Don’t you keep your office in perfect order? Is your work accumulated into piles and piles?”

Jin Ling elbowed Wei Wuxian at his side, and the other laughed.

Jiang Cheng met them in the garden later, and soon after Jin Ling left to go to the kitchen to check the soup and took his mother’s plaque with him. Wei Wuxian just looked at him walking, holding the plaque like a child holding a teddy bear. Just like he held Suihua after the Second Siege when he felt cornered because everyone took Wen Ning’s side. Actually, that was how he held Suihua in general, because he remembered looking at Jin Ling back at the Guanyin Temple and having the same impression.

“He has been doing it since forever. I imagined he would have stopped by now, but he still has his moments,” Jiang Cheng proclaimed, because indeed his nephew was the cutest child in the world.

“Yeah…” Wei Wuxian agreed and laid his head on the table in front of him. They were at the gazebo built in the middle of the garden. The lotus flower garden built for their sister.

The entire morning he couldn’t stop thinking about his sister: how much he missed her, how it pained him that she wasn’t there to see her boy growing up, how it hurt that Jin Ling only had a plaque to hold… that he was to blame for all of that.

“How could you do this without booze?” he mumbled.

“Who said I did? At the beginning, at least,” Jiang Cheng rebuked, and Wei Wuxian moved his head, still laid on the table, to look at him shocked that his too serious younger brother would get drunk in front of their dead older sister. “What? She could show up to chastise me anytime.”

"Bad a-Chen. I expected more of you," he joked, but found he couldn’t laugh. "I was a terrible brother. I only caused trouble."

"She loved you anyway," Jiang Cheng repeated, and Wei Wuxian wondered what he meant by it, given the strained and hurt tone in his voice.

"She loved you too," he tried.

"Right…" Jiang Cheng agreed without much conviction.

" You can’t be serious ," he challenged Jiang Cheng's lack of confidence and felt sick with the implication of the thought. "Are you suggesting she loved you any less…? You were her baby brother! Her real brother! She loved you so much! You have no idea how devastated she was when…" he remembered how worried she was at the supervisory office, watching her brother waste away was killing her too. "You haven’t seen how terrified she was when you wouldn’t get better."

"And you haven’t seen her face when I came back from the indoctrination camp alone or when I met her in Qinghe and you were nowhere to be found."

"So she worried about whoever was in trouble. It doesn’t mean…"

"Shut up! She was my sister and I loved her and I know she loved me back," his voice was quiet, but level. "It was her duty and she was kind and gentle and I never doubted she loved me. But you were her favorite. You were not bound by blood. She just chose you. Even I could see it, so don’t act like it was a big secret, because you knew it too."

"Why does everything have to be a competition for you?" he asked, frustrated. There was that crack in his brother's voice, and no matter how much water he was served, it would never be enough because the liquid would leak and his cup would never be full. "Why couldn’t she love us both?"

"You don’t have to coddle me anymore, Wei Wuxian. It’s insulting, really. You never let me win when we were kids and now you want to call it a draw? Do you think I’m that pathetic?" Jiang Cheng said.

"I never thought you were pathetic, a-Cheng," he tried again, though he wasn't hopeful he would change Jiang Cheng’s mind. "I thought you were among the best, but you won’t believe me, right?"

"I would be a fool if I did."

"I told you one tiny little lie a hundred years ago and suddenly I’m not trustworthy anymore," he laughed. "That’s not fair."

"Nothing about it is fair."

"No, it isn’t. What the hell was she doing in the middle of the battlefield? She shouldn’t be there."

"I wish I was faster than a-Li," Jiang Cheng said aloud, but not to anyone in particular. He often found himself in that place when he thought about his sister.

He remembered the gentle touch of his sister when he told her he wasn’t taking good care of her and she answered that “worrying” was all she could do for him now, because her little brother was all grown up and he didn’t need her anymore. That was a lie, because he would need her forever.

"Jin Zixuan was already dead, so a-Li could find a way to go back to Pier Lotus and raise a-Ling there. She would be a fine sect leader and things were not so bad anymore. The rebuilding was almost…"

"Wait… wait… wait… What? No!!! Absolutely not!! How would that solve anything?" Wei Wuxian needed a few seconds to process the implication of the other man’s sentence, and it just made him angry how Jiang Cheng could just say something out of nowhere like it didn't matter at all.

" Jin Ling would have his mother ," he continued.

"Do you think she would want it?"

" Jin Ling would have his mothe r," he repeated matter-of-factly, because his sister would just have to deal with it. And he was about to continue because without him in the picture, Lan Wangji would have kept Wei Wuxian from jumping off that cliff, so both his siblings would have survived. That was a fair price to pay.

"And you think he would be better without you?"

" He would be better with his mother ."

"I would have raised you from the dead," Wei Wuxian blustered, not wanting to hear any more of the bullshit Jiang Cheng was saying.

"Excuse me?" He looked back at Wei Wuxian, livid.

"Two can play your stupid game. If you had died that day, I would have raised you as a fierce corpse."

"You wouldn’t dare!"

"But I would," he sent a combative smile back. "And shijie wouldn’t have been able to stop me."

First, Jiang Cheng was struck with terror at the thought of his soul being struck from the reincarnation wheel, then he just laughed, because he couldn’t tell what would happen with his soul anyway because of the core transplant, so he escalated it a little more:

"She wouldn’t have tried to stop you. She would be fine with whatever her a-Xian wanted, even if he decided toying with her blood brother's corpse and turning him into an abomination. My thinking on the matter was never important."

"If your thinking on the matter is this stupid, yes!" he yelled back.

"How is it stupid? Wasn’t she better than me? Don’t you miss her? Wouldn’t you rather she was the one alive? You had to keep up with me since we were kids because I was the heir, but you loved her."

"You are so full of bullshit that I’m sure you would be even stronger than Wen Ning," Wei Wuxian was getting furious with Jiang Cheng's insistence.

"I would never forgive you."

"Then nothing would have changed, because I will never be forgiven anyway," he stood up and was about to leave when Jiang Cheng also moved.

"Oh no. I'm the one leaving," he walked behind Wei Wuxian and held him by his arm. "You were her favorite. You stay."

"Let me go," he hissed through his teeth.

"Make me."

There were punches after that. And pushing and grabbing and more yelling, and Jin Ling went back to the garden to find his two uncles literally on each other's throats.

"Stop it right now!" shouted the teenager, his mother’s plaque in one hand and a basket with the soup and bowls in the other. "What are you two doing? You can’t fight today. Not here! It will upset mom!"

"Your mom can show up to lecture us anytime!" Wei Wuxian boasted and felt the hot tears filling his eyes. That's what Jiang Cheng probably meant all those years ago. He didn't mind being less than proper in front of his sister's memorial if that was enough to make her spirit angry so she would show up to reprimand him. He missed her so much that even being scolded would do. That was how lonely his brother was back then.

He heard a sob and looked at Jiang Cheng, who was rolling to the side and covering his face, because no one should see him crying. That was how lonely his brother still was.

"A-Cheng, I didn't…"

"Jiujiu!"

“Stay away!” Both of them refrained from approaching Jiang Cheng, who took no time to breathe out his distress and compose himself. Then he walked toward Jin Ling. “I’m sorry, kid. Let’s just take the soup and call it a day, okay? You already went to the archery field, didn't you?”

“Yes. I covered everything already.”

“Good. You are a grown up now. You don’t even need me anymore.”

“You can’t say that!” Jin Ling protested and hugged his uncle.

“What’s that for? The fact you don’t need me won’t prevent me from reproaching you until you are old and gray,” he knocked his nephew's head lightly, but hugged him back.

The three of them took the soup mostly in silence.

***

Later that night, Jiang Cheng walked to the gazebo in the middle of the garden with two jugs of wine in each hand, just to meet Wei Wuxian who was already there with two bottles by his side.

“Did a-Ling leave you four jugs?” asked Wei Wuxian. He found two bottles of wine on his door with a note. Apparently, Jiang Cheng found a similar package.

Wei Wuxian was afraid he lost all the steps he took the last few months and he was coming to terms with finding Lotus Pier’s gate closed the next time he tried to visit. He didn’t know his distress was being shared by the person in the other guest room who was sure the visits would stop altogether after that fiasco. His disciples would be disappointed. Jiang Cheng would be disappointed too, but not surprised if Wei Wuxian decided to leave and never come back… again.

“He left me two jugs. I got the other two,” he said, because his nephew had the best of intentions, but had no idea how much booze they needed. Initially, Jiang Cheng thought there were just two bottles: one for him and the other for him to share with Wei Wuxian. But his two bottles, plus Wei Wuxian’s two bottles, would be a reasonable amount.

“Me too,” said the other man, showing the other two bottles behind him. He also thought two wasn’t enough and took matters into his own hands.

“Do you think he…?”

“Yes. Eight bottles,” Jiang Cheng answered, opening his first bottle. “I’m not sure if I’m offended or flattered.”

“I’m impressed. He played both of us. He hasn't even tried to hide his calligraphy.”

“Because no one says ‘no’ to him.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘no’ if it was from you too. I mean… It's good wine.”

“Yeah, it’s good wine,” he agreed, maybe with both statements.

“So, shall we?”

Jiang Yanli was not there to admonish her brothers, but her son was still there to keep them on the right path.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng squinted at the ring on his finger, turning it slowly as if inspecting a foreign object. His vision was slightly blurry, and his hands felt sluggish, but that was probably just the wine. Probably.

“How can Zidian still respond to my call if it's your golden core?” he muttered, his voice thick with alcohol. The words came out a little slower than he intended. “It should have—closed itself off. Should have rejected me.”

The ring pulsed faintly, obedient as ever, and he huffed. Betrayal.

None of his weapons had ever rebelled against his golden core. Not like Suibian, which sealed itself the moment Wei Wuxian let it go. His own sword had welcomed the new energy source, accepted it without hesitation. He should be grateful for that, but instead, he felt resentment creeping in.

“I’m surrounded by traitors and liars,” he concluded, slumping against the table and staring at the half-empty jug of wine in front of them.

Wei Wuxian snorted, swirling the wine in his own cup. “Once it was given to you, it became your golden core. That’s how giving things works.”

“Suibian disagrees.”

“And what does that dumb sword know? Even its name is stupid.”

“More than this dumb ring.” Jiang Cheng flicked Zidian, unimpressed. “Bad, bad Zidian. Mother would be disappointed in you.”

Wei Wuxian burst into laughter, nearly spilling his drink. Drunk Jiang Cheng is funny. Depressing, but funny.

But the alcohol was working its way through both of them, loosening their tongues in ways neither of them had allowed before.

“Suibian has always known you,” Wei Wuxian continued, tilting his head, his expression oddly soft. “You were there when your father gave it to me. When I chose its name. She knows you’re my shidi. She would unseal for you no matter what.”

“You’re saying Wen Ning was lying?”

“I’m saying he doesn’t know shit,” Wei Wuxian replied with an exaggerated wave of his hand. “He didn’t have a brother his age and he wasn’t there when we were kids, sharing a room for years, when ‘what’s mine is yours’ was just the way things were—even when you didn’t want to share.” He smirked and Jiang Cheng flinched, because he never had a safe place to store his sweets. “Zidian obeyed your father, didn't she? My sword would always serve you, even when I didn’t.”

Jiang Cheng fell silent. Indeed, he never had a safe place to store his things when they were kids. And Wei Wuxian never ate anything without giving him his share, even when he didn’t want to try the suspicious food.

“I trusted Yanli to you,” he said at last, his gaze fixed on the dark surface of his wine. “Before I ran to the guards. I believed you would protect her. That you both would be fine.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, expression stunned, as if he’d just been struck.

“You fucking punk! Why the hell are you telling me that?” He jabbed Jiang Cheng hard in the ribs.

Jiang Cheng shoved him back. “Because it was a good plan and you ruined it, asshole.”

“It was a terrible plan! You were the heir! And she was your sister! What the hell were you thinking?” Wei Wuxian snapped, his temper flaring. “You had a mission, a legacy! What about the Jiang Clan? Who would avenge all the deaths, rebuild the sect—”

“You could have done that.”

“Bullshit! And you should kneel and apologize to Shijie for—no, I’m not even going to repeat that.”

“For telling the truth?”

“That’s not the truth!” He fought Yanli’s baby brother’s weird idea again. “Stop saying that! Don’t you think she would have done the same for you? Haven’t you pulled the same shit before she did?”

Jiang Cheng was silent again.

“You didn’t turn her into an abomination,” he said, touching his belly, right above his golden core.

“Did you want me to?”

“No!”

“Then what do you want from me?!” Wei Wuxian’s voice cracked, frustration spilling out in full. “I want her back too, but I can’t change the past! I wish I could, but I can’t! I wish we could move forward because I never wanted to lose you too, but if that’s what you want, I can go away and leave you alone.”

“If you want to leave so badly, just leave!” Jiang Cheng shot back. “You always do anyway!”

Wei Wuxian threw his hands up. “Are you hearing me? I don’t want to! I never did! All my night hunts end up in Yunmeng because I want to see you. But I don’t know what you want from me! What is it? Is there anything I can do to make it better? Just say and I’ll do it, because I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. And if you say you want to trade places with Shijie again—”

They were full-on yelling now, voices slurring together in their drunken haze.

“Says the fucking hypocrite who jumped off a cliff after she died!”

“But that's me! I do impulsive stupid things. You’re different! You are smart. You were never supposed to die back then—you’re not supposed to die, ever! You’re destined to ascend!” he said with desperation, but Jiang Cheng just found it unnerving, because he never thought his life was very valuable, while the mere idea of his brother dying filled Wei Wuxian with terror.

“Fuck you! You left! Jiejie died and then you died too, so fucking stop it,” he shouted back, because Wei Wuxian was so infuriating. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to spend eternity alone?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Then what?” He sat back. “What do you think would happen? Do you think I would find another family? I’m not like you. I can’t substitute people that easily.”

Wei Wuxian was taken aback for a second. That’s not what he wanted, but he didn’t really think about what would be of his siblings after he was out of the picture. He just hoped they would be fine. They would be safe and the rest could be managed. But being alone, that was not something he foresaw.

“I didn’t replace anyone,” Wei Wuxian replied, his voice quieter.

“What about the Wens? They were your new family. The people you cared about deeply. You left us and you left Pier Lotus because of them!”

“It wasn’t like that and you know it.”

“Do I?” Jiang Cheng rubbed his eyes, because remembering that made him feel like an abandoned teenager again and the alcohol prevented him from reigning in his emotions. “You even got yourself new siblings. I saw you with that freak. Did you call Wen Qing shijie too?”

“Are you jealous of them? They are all dead,” he asked, outraged by the idea. Wei Wuxian’s next move was to wrestle with Jiang Cheng to take the jug from his hand and drink the rest of the liquor.

“Fuck you!” he fought back, trying to keep his jug, but losing it.

“That’s enough for you!” he said, pointing his index finger at Jiang Cheng. “You are talking nonsense. Only shijie is shijie and you kept me too occupied for me to even entertain the idea of having another brother.”

“Asshole.” If you could punch someone with your mind, Wei Wuxian would feel Jiang Cheng’s wrist on his face. “Do you know how difficult it was to arrange that meeting? To get Jiejie there so you could meet her? I even asked her to let you name her baby! I couldn’t believe you left after seeing her in her wedding gown and knowing she was going to have a baby! But you walked away with that freak without even looking back!”

“Wen Ning is not…” he was going to defend his friend, but it was a bad idea. It would be a challenge to bring Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng together, and for the time being, Wei Wuxian was happy the two were on good enough terms. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“Whatever,” he looked away, his hand moving to his stomach. “I’m a freak too.”

“Do not be like that, a-Cheng,” he said, seeing the movement, so he tried to dismiss it by hugging the other again, but was pushed away a second time. “I missed you two and I missed home, but that was the best I could manage,” Wei Wuxian tried again, his voice soft. “I was so miserable—” He almost mentioned Wen Qing bringing him lotus seeds, but stopped himself. Instead, he said, “I made a pond. I grew lotuses there.”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “In the Burial Mounds?”

Wei Wuxian nodded. “They weren’t good to eat, but they—” He hesitated. “They made good talismans.”

He remembered A-Yuan. The poor boy didn’t deserve to be yelled at. It wasn’t just A-Yuan. There was granny and Uncle Four and all the others who didn’t have a chance. They were not cultivators, they weren’t hungry for power, and they weren’t planning to harm anyone. They were just regular people trying to survive. And after the year they spent together, he couldn't deny he came to care for them, but it didn’t diminish what he felt for the Jiangs. It wasn’t a matter of exchange and it wasn’t even Wei Wuxian’s choice. It happened. Wen Ruohan started a war and the Jiang clan was slaughtered. He never meant for that to happen. And he never planned on crossing paths with a bunch of helpless survivors and being their only hope. However, he didn’t think he could explain any of that to Jiang Cheng.

“They were good people and they deserved better. And I never… Adding more people in your life isn’t the same as substituting anyone. I remember everyone, even the ones that are gone.”

Jiang Cheng wanted to dispute that, but Wei Wuxian’s eyes were suddenly glossy. All his losses were there, even if briefly. His parents, the Jiangs and the Wens. He lost three groups of people he cared deeply about. Three families. And even after losing so much, he was still walking around gathering more people. That was… Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he could do it. His pain was with him all the time, so he would always keep people at arm’s length so they couldn’t hurt him even more. He would avoid adding new people for fear of losing more people. He didn’t have a turn-off switch… and maybe that was the secret, because it didn’t take long for Wei Wuxian to change his expression back to normal.

More wine. Jiang Cheng needed more wine, so he just took another bottle, gulping down a fair amount at once before Wei Wuxian tried to grab it:

“I said no more wine for…”

“Were we ever brothers?”

“What kind of question is that?” he asked back, finally grabbing the jug.

“Humor me,” he said, looking down, unsure of what answer he would get and angry at how small he still felt when it came to anything related to Wei Wuxian.

“Haven’t you listened? I just said you are my annoying little brother. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t your and Yanli’s brother.”

Jiang Cheng scoffed but didn’t argue.

“You were so angry at me after we escaped and I didn’t let you go back,” he remembered, because that was the point of no return for him. That’s when he believed their brotherhood had ended, so it was hard for him to make sense of Jiang Cheng’s sacrifice after that. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he questioned softly.

His brother was quick to blame him after the attack and had always been vocal, angry, and grumpy when he believed he was being wronged. But he kept that information for years, even when he didn’t know about the transfer and was upset with Wei Wuxian’s behavior after the war.

Jiang Cheng took his time. His mind was foggy but quiet; he didn’t feel threatened by the question and the answer just escaped:

“At first, because I didn’t want to hurt you. Then, because I didn’t want to get hurt.” He exhaled. “You would’ve done something stupid. And later… I was afraid you’d laugh. That you’d make a fool of me. And now… what was the point? It was all in the past.”

Wei Wuxian looked at him, stunned. “I would never laugh at you!”

Jiang Cheng glared. “Look me in the eye and say you don’t think you would’ve managed anyway. Because you did. You won a fucking war without a golden core.”

Wei Wuxian’s look quivered at his jug, with a sad smile:

“Do you regret it?”

Jiang Cheng thought for a long moment. Then, quietly, “I regret all my failures. But I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.”

“I couldn’t just watch you hurting and do nothing either.”

Jiang Cheng groaned. “Not the same!”

“How is it not the same?”

What they did were so different on so many levels, but in the end, Jiang Cheng summarized it in four raw words that revealed all that was broken:

“You lied to me.”

More silence.

“'M' sorry,” was all Wei Wuxian could say, because he could see how hurt the other man was, but he didn’t understand what was so bad about what he did.

“Just so you know, it wasn’t stolen,” Wei Wuxian tried, bumping his shoulder against Jiang Cheng’s, who looked puzzled. “You said you have a stolen golden core. It wasn’t stolen. It was freely given.”

“Are you sure the Jiang sect hasn't paid for it?” he asked, pushing the other away.

“We are over that already,” he replied, annoyed at having his own words used against him once more.

“The Yiling Patriarch always pays his debt,” he repeated in a deeper voice. “I’ll have it engraved for you.”

“I’m still in debt.”

“You and your debts,” he laughed with a twisted face. “Be aware that I don’t accept body parts.”

Wei Wuxian let it sit for one second, remembering how his relationship with Jiang Cheng used to work. They would share everything and it felt as natural as breathing. That’s what he believed happened with their tools. Even their swords got confused because they were a duo, always together. You couldn’t separate them without breaking something. But now… now he felt like he was underwater all the time. It was impossible to breathe.

“Am I still your brother?” he returned the question.

It was Jiang Cheng’s time to be caught off guard:

“Unfortunately,” he sighed.

“If I am your brother, there is no reason for me not to…” Wei Wuxian changed the tone of the conversation again, going for something more chipper.

“No,” he stopped him, already knowing what the other was going to ask.

“It’s just a room! You have plenty of space in the family quarters!”

Jiang Cheng hiccupped. “You had a room. You lost it when you left the sect. And died.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t built a sanctuary for your beloved deceased brother and kept all my belongings there while waiting for my miraculous return.”

“Do not be ridiculous. Why would I do that?”

“Because you missed me so much. You kept Chenqing.”

“As a trophy! And Princess lives in the family quarters now. I don't think you would like to share the same space as her.”

“You finally named that terrible beast that is not your dog? And again an homage to the hardworking ladies of the night.”

“Shut up! It’s a good name!”

“But you used it before. Where is your creativity?”

“That’s her name. I can’t change it.”

“What are you talking about? Her name is Princess because that’s the name you gave her. That’s how naming things works.”

“You moron! She is Princess !”

“You mean… the small monster walking around Pier Lotus is the same dog from when you were a kid? How? Dogs don’t live that long, do they?”

“It’s another dog, but it’s her. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. Or I’m drunk and speaking nonsense. You were dead two years ago!”

“And I was brought back as part of a vengeance plan. Why would a puppy come back for vengeance?”

“She is not here for vengeance!” he stormed.

“I didn’t say she is! But it’s unusual. For people and dogs.”

“You mean it is impossible,” he said, letting it rest in silence. It was not easy to believe his puppy was back, but he was sure it was Princess and he was sure she tried very hard to come back to him; he just couldn’t explain how he knew. He hasn’t even looked for her. Their relationship was brief, but it was whole and untainted. Uncomplicated. He loved his puppies and they loved him back. There was no unfinished business, not like with his brother.

He spent many years searching for Wei Wuxian’s ghost, because their farewell was a nasty wound, not a clean cut. And it only festered along the years. He didn’t understand what happened… he couldn’t accept it! He needed closure.

“The monster was born again and it was looking for you? All this time?”

Jiang Cheng moved his head up and down timidly.

He didn’t know he could inspire that kind of unflinching loyalty, that kind of love, because he was just... People would settle for him, but only until they found something better—and there would always be something better. But not his precious puppy.

“I know it's hard to believe,” his voice was soft, delicate like the wings of a butterfly, but it changed fast, growing harder and dry.

“I didn’t say it,” Wei Wuxian bumped Jiang Cheng again. “It’s not like I have done differently. I mean… I’m also petering you until you give up sending me off and I can stay all that I want.”

“Again: you are a married person. You live in another sect. And you chose to live that way.” 

“Small details. I’m wondering. Do you think your other dogs are out there searching for you too?”

“Don’t be silly!”

“Any chance they came back in different species? Something less scary like a bunny or a goose, maybe a pig.”

“It would be nice talking to a normal person, but you came back as the same kind of asshole.”

“So harsh!”

Silence settled between them, thick but not as suffocating as before.

Then Jiang Cheng muttered, “You know, you’re the worst shixiong in history.”

Wei Wuxian grinned. “We make a great duo, because you’re the worst shidi.”

Jiang Cheng snorted. “That’s because you are so annoying!”

“You’re high maintenance, grumpy, and—” Wei Wuxian poked him in the ribs.

Jiang Cheng swatted his hand away, glaring. “You’re worse. You’re reckless, infuriating, and you never shut up.”

Wei Wuxian gasped in mock offense. “Rude! I am a delight.”

“A nightmare.”

“A treasure.”

“A pain in my ass.”

Wei Wuxian laughed at that, leaning back against the pillar behind him. His vision swam slightly, but the warmth of the alcohol made everything feel distant, hazy. Less painful.

“I missed this,” he admitted, his voice softer now.

Jiang Cheng exhaled sharply through his nose, shaking his head. “You missed being insulted?”

“I missed you.”

Jiang Cheng went still. He looked away, his jaw tightening as if the words physically hurt. After a moment, he let out a long breath. “Yeah. Me too.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin turned lopsided. “Wow. You actually admitted it. Should I write it down?”

“I’ve already changed my mind.”

“You’re getting sentimental in your old age, Cheng-Cheng.”

“Shut up.”

Wei Wuxian chuckled, but his eyelids were growing heavy. “You know, I think I might just—” He yawned, his head lolling to the side. “—close my eyes for a bit…”

Jiang Cheng didn’t even get the chance to snap at him before Wei Wuxian slumped against his shoulder, already halfway to sleep.

“Oi,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, shifting slightly but not pushing him away. He sighed, too exhausted (and too drunk) to bother fighting it.

It wasn’t long before he felt his own body relax, the weight of the night pressing down on him.

“Idiot,” he muttered one last time before sleep took him too.

The next morning, they woke up with splitting headaches, stiff backs, and the horrifying realization that they had spent the night passed out in the garden, leaning against each other like a pair of drunks (which, to be fair, they were).

Neither of them spoke at first. Then, Wei Wuxian groaned, rubbing his temples. “Ugh. Why does my mouth taste like regret?”

Jiang Cheng glared at him, his voice hoarse. “Because everything about you is regret.”

Wei Wuxian smirked despite himself. “I have these rare bottles of Emperador Smile. Just let me know when you are ready for your next regret.”

Jiang Cheng hesitated—just for a second—before scoffing. “Shut up.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, even though it made his head throb. Maybe things weren’t fixed, but… they tried each other enough times that night to create a new rhythm. It wasn’t quite the same as when they were kids, but it was something.

The air between them had changed, the heat of their argument subsiding into something quieter—a fragile truce that neither of them quite knew how to hold on to, but both were desperate to preserve. 

Their next argument was over Jiang Cheng’s tendency to chase demonic cultivators all by himself. It was reckless, dangerous, and completely unnecessary! Why couldn’t he take his strongest disciples with him? The other clans could help too. They had no problem using Wei Wuxian’s tools, so the fact that the creator of demonic cultivation was a former Jiang disciple shouldn’t be an issue.

It turned into a loud, long argument.

And, if Lan Zhan had once done his own haunting alone and had coincidentally crossed paths with Jiang Cheng a few times… Well, Wei Wuxian could lecture his husband too.

In the end, Wei Wuxian convinced his shidi that demonic cultivators were his responsibility as well, and they could somehow work together. They wouldn’t be a team, but they could casually cross paths if they were chasing the same leads.

"Did you invent the story about the demonic cultivators?" Wei Wuxian asked after the argument cooled down, as they emptied two bottles.

"Who says it’s not true?"

"Pier Lotus is sacred to you. You wouldn’t bring anything dangerous into your home."

"No, but it didn’t stop me from killing them elsewhere." Jiang Cheng weighed the jug in his hand, reflecting on his decisions. Every demonic cultivator he found was beyond saving, and they were a threat to others. Killing them had helped win the war, but that was the price.

"You didn’t kill me."

"Yes, I did. Ask anyone." Jiang Cheng glanced at him bitterly.

"I wanted to die that day, a-Cheng," Wei Wuxian explained, noticing the troubled look on Jiang Cheng’s face.

"If you thank me for killing you, you’ll have to deal with Princess." Jiang Cheng grunted, knowing exactly what Wei Wuxian meant. "I killed you! I abandoned you before that. It was me, no one else! The least you can do is be angry. I’m still furious with you for what you did!"

"I know you are, but I don’t do the angry thing. It’s too exhausting." Wei Wuxian shrugged. "You warned me. How could I be mad at you?"

"Easily. You think about all the things I could’ve done differently and get angry that I didn’t," Jiang Cheng shot back, his bitterness simmering. "I didn’t stand by you. Things would’ve been different if I had…"

"You’re not so important that everything has to be your fault. I did what I did, and I’m not sharing the blame."

"Asshole."

"Here I was, expecting an apology, and you insult me," Wei Wuxian laughed.

"Why would I apologize? I did what I had to do," Jiang Cheng snapped, defensive. "Doesn’t mean I liked it."

"Same here. Doing the right thing sucks," Wei Wuxian agreed.

"You act like the sacrifices were easy. Like they were simple."

"They were never easy. I never wanted for you…”

"Shut up."

"Quiet. I’m trying to apologize here."

"You can stick your apology right up—"

Wei Wuxian interrupted with a playful smile. "You know what? You did kill me, and fair’s fair. So, to make it up to me…"

"I didn’t say I’d make it up to you."

"Come on, Jiang Cheng. You’ve got plenty of room in the family area. And I’m family!"

"You’re a married man! Go live with your husband!"

"Lan Zhan is generous. He’s already agreed to share me with you. And we could share a room at Pier Lotus."

"You just gave me another reason not to give you a room," Jiang Cheng said, standing up and walking away from Wei Wuxian.

"Come on, a-Cheng! I know you didn’t mean it," Wei Wuxian followed.

"Yes, I did! Go away!" Jiang Cheng called over his shoulder.

Days passed, and the conversation between them didn’t fully end. Wei Wuxian continued to make his case, suggesting that Jiang Cheng couldn’t just escape the reality of his actions and should make amends somehow, because he really-really-really wanted his room back. It was only fair. 

Jiang Cheng’s resolve lasted until past their birthday, because it wasn't a birth present  and he hadn't prepared the room months before and was just waiting to see how far Wei Wuxian visits would go.  

“Swimming lessons,” Wei Wuxian said, eating a slice of watermelon, his feet nearly touching the water of the lake under the pier. The summer in Yumeng was as hot and sweet as he remembered.

“Water ghoul hunting workshop,” Jiang Cheng corrected, also with a slice of watermelon. A small group of Lan disciples had arrived the night before, all invited to Pier Lotus as a gesture of the good relationship between the sects. The event had been arranged between the sect leaders during the spring when Grand Master Lan visited.

The Jiang sect leader had come up with the idea the first time Jin Ling brought Lan Sizhui and Jingyi during the summer, and he saw that the two boys couldn’t swim.

The first lesson had been that morning, and a few teenagers were still practicing in the water, while the others took a break to eat watermelon.

“They’re really bad in the water,” Wei Wuxian laughed.

“They’re not that bad.”

“But they are!” he insisted. “I can’t believe Lan Zhan didn’t tell me he can’t swim!” he said as if it were a great betrayal. He knew cultivators could always rely on their swords, but it still felt wrong. “What if something happened to the boats when we were all heading to Lotus Pier after the siege? They wouldn’t be able to fly on their swords, and then what?”

Jiang Cheng looked at Wei Wuxian with annoyance, wondering if his brother ever thought things through before opening his mouth. However, it was amusing to see Wei Wuxian struggling with the idea that he was the responsible one who had to make plans for the others—who were, in his view, irresponsible. But Wei Wuxian’s failure to recognize his own behavior patterns was a problem.

“What?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“The betrayal!” Jiang Cheng said unimpressed. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to have someone you trust not tell you important life-or-death information that could put both them and you at risk… Oh, wait. I know exactly what that’s like, because I fought a war alongside someone I believed had a golden core, but they didn’t!”

“That’s different!”

“How so?”

“Because I was in control of the situation.”

“You… in control?” Jiang Cheng questioned. “Try again, Wei Wuxian.”

“Okay. I wasn’t in control or in my right mind, so I can’t be blamed for all my questionable choices. Better?”

“Keep going…”

“What I want to say is that swimming is such a basic skill! Like cooking or taking care of your clothes. I’ll tell you, a-Cheng, the Lans are a big fraud! They look so put together, but they’re the most impractical people,” he declared. For all the time he lived with the Jiangs and with the Wens, he never felt so out of place as he did now with the Lans. They lived their earthly lives as if they were already the ascended beings they hoped to become. It was as if they could skip over mortal life and trample on the material world without consequences, and it was infuriating. The discipline part, he understood. But what gain could there be in keeping their members from learning basic skills? They excelled in music but couldn’t fish. They could recite all four thousand rules but didn’t know how to wash their clothes. They could do headstands for hours, but God forbid any of them made a game of it. “They have so many rules, they don’t have time for the mundane. No time for fun,” he concluded.

“Yeah, that’s all the Yunmeng Jiang is about: mundane things and having fun,” Jiang Cheng said with a scowl.

“Exactly!” Wei Wuxian bit into his watermelon, savoring the sweet juice. “How are you going to teach those rocks how to float? It seems like attempting the impossible to me .”

“They aren’t that bad. It’s just the first day. The students aren’t comfortable in the water yet. They’ll get more confident when they…” Jiang Cheng bit his tongue, realizing the next sentence would only make Wei Wuxian more insufferable.

“When they ‘what’?”

“Nothing. I’m not saying it,” Jiang Cheng finished his slice of watermelon and stood up, ready to return to work.

“You were going to say something about having fun, weren’t you? It’s the best way to learn anything.”

“Tell that to them when they’re running laps until they can’t feel their legs anymore.”

“Throwing up from exhaustion on the training field…” Jiang Cheng said, almost nostalgically, raising an imaginary toast to Madam Yu. “That builds character. And it’s an excellent bonding exercise. Nothing compares to the experience of looking to the side and seeing your fellow comrade is as screwed as you.”

“If you miss it so much, you can join the training.”

“No, thanks. I don’t want to die,” he paused. “Again.”

After that, Wei Wuxian jumped into the water without waiting to be pushed. His routine was still ingrained in his muscles, like the cadence of his breathing.

“Too slow!” he yelled when he surfaced.

“You’re in the water anyway. I don’t mind you jumping first.”

“I’m where I wanted to be. I don’t mind either,” he answered, backstroking away.

Lan Wangji wasn’t there for the first class, but he arrived later that night. His duties as chief cultivator kept him longer than he’d planned. Jiang Cheng pretended to believe the excuse, but internally he began plotting ways to get even. That was how their in-law relationship worked: with mutual disdain and subtle acts of aggression.

Getting along with Jin Zixuan was so much easier.

Lan Wangji couldn’t drink, but he tried anyway, and now he was asleep in his husband's lap, on the rooftop of one of the buildings.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jiang Cheng asked, eyeing the unconscious man.

“There’s nothing wrong with Lan Zhan.”

“Really?”

Wei Wuxian sighed, his gaze drifting into the distance.

“Lan Xichen won’t accept visitors anymore,” he finally admitted. That was the one thing tainting their otherwise new life—because it felt like a trade. Lan Zhan’s newfound happiness with the person he loved had come at the cost of Lan Xichen’s unhappiness.

“How long is he going to stay in seclusion?”

“I don’t know.” He looked at his husband to make sure he was still out cold. “I’m afraid he might never leave. It doesn’t look like he’s getting any better. And frankly, how can being alone, overthinking the same things again and again, help anyone move on?”

“It can’t, but that’s how the Lans do it. Burying oneself in work doesn’t help either,” Jiang Cheng said, before realizing he had revealed more than he intended. When Wei Wuxian looked at him, puzzled, he continued. “Let’s just say I have firsthand experience with survivor’s guilt after being part of the demise of a beloved sibling who fell from grace.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian said quietly, glancing to the side before looking down at his sleeping husband.

“At first, I was furious! Four major houses fought in the war—four! We did our part and paid with blood, but only three of them formed the sword brotherhood. Now I guess I dodged an arrow there, or I’d have been tangled in another ugly mess,” he confessed. The Jiangs were no longer a powerhouse after the other three took the vow of brotherhood, and the alliance had made Jiang Cheng anxious, especially after Jin Zixuan’s death. But now, he was the only one still standing. What a strange world.

“So… what worked for you?”

“Jin Ling.” The answer came quickly.

“I don’t think it will work for Brother Xichen,” Wei Wuxian said, his tone tinged with sadness.

“Then you underestimate Yanli’s kid,” Jiang Cheng said after a moment of thought. His nephew was the solution to any problem... and the cause of many others. “A-Ling is the only person in the world who doesn’t loathe that wicked midget, except for Zewu-Jun himself. He’s not alone in his grief, and that alone can go a long way. You said he doesn’t accept visitors, but what about letters?”

“That’s actually a good idea. Would you ask Jin Ling to write to Brother Xichen?”

“No. I’ll write Zewu-Jun myself and ask him to write to Jin Ling. He’s too polite to refuse.”

“This is quite manipulative, but it might work. Thanks.”

“You don’t get it. I don’t care about your husband, and Zewu-Jun isn’t my problem. But I know Jin Ling misses that snake, and I can’t help with that because he won’t let me. Stupid kid.”

“He’s a proud cookie.” Wei Wuxian smiled, amused by his brother’s unique way of showing how much he cared: through curses and yelling. What a duo he and his troublemaking nephew were to be around.

“Just like his uncle,” he added.

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng mumbled, taking another drink.

“Yeah…” Wei Wuxian agreed, his gaze shifting to his brother, who had weathered the death of his two siblings alone while still rebuilding his sect, with no additional family to help him. And he couldn’t even mourn his lost brother, because the Yiling Patriarch was painted as the villain. It got worse when he remembered Jiang Cheng was praised for killing him.

“Stop looking at me!”

“I’m sorry you had to go through everything alone, a-Cheng,” Wei Wuxian said, trying to embrace the other man, who simply pulled away.

“Are you deaf? I just said I had Jin Ling.”

“Yes, you did,” Wei Wuxian repeated softly, glancing at his husband. They had both been there when he died and had loathed each other ever since, but Wei Wuxian knew they had both searched for him together during the time he had vanished after being thrown into the Burial Mounds. “You also had Lan Zhan. You two could have bonded over how much you missed me.”

“Or we could have killed each other. It would’ve been easier.”

“He would agree with you,” Wei Wuxian chuckled. “See how similar you two are?”

“And now you’re offending both of us,” Jiang Cheng said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Lan Wangji. The man never wavered, and that was both infuriating and oddly comforting. “He chose you over everything, and I couldn’t do that.”

“A-Cheng, I didn’t…”

“I’m glad you found someone. It means you truly aren’t my problem anymore.” Jiang Cheng stood up, not allowing Wei Wuxian any time to get sentimental. “I’m going to bed.”

“So soon? We still have wine.”

“I have classes tomorrow.”

“And I’ve offered to help a million times already.”

“You have your own Lan rock to teach,” Jiang Cheng answered, gesturing toward the sleeping man.

The workshop was a success. The Lan disciples learned how to swim and the last “secret” was revealed when Jiang Cheng finally gathered enough courage to ask if Wei Wuxian had found the child.

“What kid are you talking about?”

“The Wen toddler,” Jiang Cheng replied quickly. “I saw the bodies, and there was no child there. I know they left the boy with you or with someone else. Maybe a villager on the way to the Carp Tower, or something like that. No one was left behind in the camp. I know because I checked... I even saw your lotus pond. Or what was left of it.”

Wei Wuxian was confused. He didn’t know about A-Yuan at first. Not even A-Yuan knew about himself! He believed the boy died with his family, unaware that he had survived. Then he grew wary, because even though Lan Sizhui was Jiang Cheng’s favorite and Jin Ling’s friend, the boy was still a Wen.

“How did you know about...?”

“So you found him,” Jiang Cheng said, relieved, but Wei Wuxian’s face grew tense. “I’m not going after him. I had seventeen years to do it, and I didn’t. It was just a kid! I didn’t care about him, but do you think I...?” He paused. “I’m not that evil, and I have better things to do.”

They remained silent for a long time before Wei Wuxian could speak. He knew Lan Sizhui was innocent, but so were the Jiangs, and it was hard to separate the guilty from the innocent when faced with such tragedy.

“I didn’t know you knew about him. And I didn’t know how you’d react to knowing there was a Wen alive.”

“Two. Don’t forget the Ghost General. But who’s counting?”

Wei Wuxian tensed.

“I’m not going on a rampage to hunt a kid,” Jiang Cheng stated firmly, making his point clear. “I’m just glad you recovered something of what you lost. That’s all. We can end this subject here,” he said. He just wanted to know about the kid, nothing else.

Wei Wuxian looked heartbroken to his brother. What he wished the most was that Jiang Cheng could recover something from the past as well. He knew that his pain, buried for so long, still tore at him. And deep down, perhaps that was what bothered him most. However, maybe he could give Jiang Cheng something back too: more family.

“Jiang Cheng?”

“What?”

“How would you feel about having another nephew?”

“Don’t be stupid.”

But by the end of summer, Lan Sizhui received an invitation to come spend some time at Lotus Pier. He also got a room in the family quarters—even before Wei Wuxian had his own.

Wei Wuxian kept going to Lotus Pier until the day he didn’t.

He never said why. He never made excuses. He simply stopped showing up.

At first, Jin Ling thought it was one of his usual games—maybe he was making himself scarce just to annoy Jiang Cheng. But as the days passed and turned into weeks, it became obvious. He wasn’t coming.

Even Lan Sizhui paid a few visits with other Lan disciples, because they got used to the food and the inexistence of thousands of rules, but no one said anything about the former first disciple.

The timing wasn’t lost on anyone. It happened just as autumn settled in. Just as the days shortened, just as the air turned sharp. Just as the anniversary of the Wen attack crept closer.

Jiang Cheng never brought it up. He went about his days the same as always—training disciples, managing the sect, yelling at Jin Ling—but something felt off. No outsider would have noticed, but Jin Ling did. His uncle was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Until, eventually, he stopped.

The Jiang disciples noted too and started making plans to fill Pier Lotus with puppies. It would both keep their sect leader happy and busy and it would keep the traitor away forever. 

Jin Ling chose violence: since Wei Wuxian refused to come to Lotus Pier, he went to him. Not just to talk. 

He arrived at the Cloud Recesses unannounced, storming through the pristine halls, ignoring the horrified looks from Lan disciples who clearly didn’t know what to do with a furious Jin Sect Leader rampaging through their home.

“Where is Wei Wuxian?” he demanded, not bothering to call for his friends, because they would try to dissuade him, but Lan Sizhui found him anyway. 

“Do not try to stop me!”

“I’m not trying to stop you. I’m getting you to Wei-quinbei” answered the other bay. “He hasn’t left his study in weeks.”

“What the hell is he doing?”

“No one knows. Or I guess Hanguang-Jun knows, but it's a secret.”

Jin Ling didn’t wait for any more explanations. He marched straight to the secluded building where Wei Wuxian had holed himself up.

The doors weren’t even locked.

Inside, the place was a disaster. Scrolls and talismans covered every surface, ink bottles overturned, candles burned to the wick. The air smelled like charred herbs and something metallic, and in the middle of the chaos sat Wei Wuxian, hair a mess, sleeves rolled up, manically scribbling on a scroll.

Jin Ling didn’t hesitate.

He picked up a book from the floor and threw it at him.

It hit Wei Wuxian square in the shoulder. He blinked in confusion, as if he had just now realized someone else was in the room. “A-Ling?”

Jin Ling seethed:

“YOU.”

Wei Wuxian tilted his head:

“Me?”

“You disappeared! Again! Do you even care that you left my uncle alone?!”

That made Wei Wuxian pause. His eyes flickered for a brief moment—guilt? Maybe. Maybe not. It was always hard to tell with him. Then, as if Jin Ling hadn’t just attacked him, Wei Wuxian grinned:

“You’re really starting to sound like Jiang Cheng.”

Jin Ling lunged at him.

Lan Sizhui almost couldn't get him out of the room by himself.  

But Jin Ling’s rage worked. Or maybe what Sizhui talked with Wei Wuxian afterwards. 

A few days later, Wei Wuxian finally showed up at Lotus Pier.

Jiang Cheng didn’t acknowledge it. If anything, he seemed irritated, which was normal. It meant things were fine. But now the disciples were irritated too - what wasn’t normal - on their sect leader behalf and because they felt backstabbed. Luckily the “everybody in Pier Lotus gets a puppy plan” wasn’t done yet, or Wei Wuxian would have stayed at the gates.

They spent the evening drinking by the pier, watching the water shift under the moonlight. Jiang Cheng had just started to relax when Wei Wuxian casually announced he had been trying to erase the scars from the Discipline Whip.

Jiang Cheng’s grip on his cup tightened. “What?”

“Like I promised, don’t you remember? “I had an idea,” Wei Wuxian continued, eyes shining in that particular mad scientist way that Jiang Cheng hated. “If I could reverse the residual spiritual energy damage, I thought maybe—”

“Are you insane?” Jiang Cheng interrupted.

Wei Wuxian ignored him. 

“But nothing worked. The scars are permanent.” He let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Turns out, some things can’t be erased.”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. 

“No shit.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t react. He just stared at the water.

He knew Jiang Cheng was right. The past didn’t just vanish because you wanted it to. The consequences of his choices, of his recklessness, of his arrogance—they would always be there, written into scars, into memories, into the bones of Lotus Pier itself.

He thought of Madam Yu’s words all those years ago. How she had warned him that his foolishness would bring disaster. How he hadn’t believed her. How, even if he had, he probably wouldn’t have cared.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Jiang Cheng?”

“I’m just saying in case your brilliant brains haven’t figured it out yet,” he kept going. “The Wen had already burned Cloud Recesses and they were waiting with an army outside Lotus Pier. We fought a war… We know the logistics of arranging an attack and of moving your men. Well, you were not in the war room, but an attack like that doesn’t just happen by mere chance. They were ready, and if they hadn't found an excuse, they would have invented one.”

Wei Wuxian inhaled sharply, like he had taken a blow to the chest. He had braced himself for another fight, another round of bitterness—but not this. Not absolution. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He had nothing to say. No joke, no sharp remark, no way to deflect. Jiang Cheng had already taken all the fight out of it.

Jiang Cheng downed the rest of his drink and stood, waiting as Wei Wuxian struggled to recompose himself, his fingers curling and uncurling against the edge of the table.

“If you’re done being stupid, come inside. Jin Ling has been talking about uninviting you from his birthday for weeks. And he will get me another dog, because Princess is too small or something.”

Wei Wuxian blinked. “Wait—what?”

Jiang Cheng smirked. “Oh, you thought getting hit with a book was bad? You haven’t even seen him really angry.”

“This family is full of demons” Wei Wuxian groaned. 

“And yet, here you are” Jiang Cheng snorted. 

Wei Wuxian sighed, then stood up to follow.

The Jiang disciples weren’t so easy to convince. When Wei Wuxian finally did return, it was as if the entire of Lotus Pier had been waiting for their chance to get even. Because that was their second motto: “ do not get hurt, get even ”. The Jiang disciples took turns "accidentally" misfiring talismans near him, covering him in soot or knocking him into the lake. The servants replaced his tea with vinegar and ensured his bedding was mysteriously damp every night. No chilly oil for him. No special dumplings either. Someone—probably a group effort—filled his boots with lotus seeds, which squelched unpleasantly with every step. Even the Princess walked free, no one trying to keep her away. 

Wei Wuxian, of course, took it all with a grin. He deserved it. And, well, it was nice to be missed.

Chapter Text

Lotus Pier was quiet except for the rhythmic sound of paper shuffling and brushes scratching against scrolls. Jiang Cheng was working as usual, brow furrowed, immersed in the steady, methodical rhythm of his duties.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Wei Wuxian slumped in a chair, fiddling idly with a piece of string, uncharacteristically quiet, a shadow of sadness in his eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jiang Cheng asked without moving his eyes from the papers.

“It’s nothing,” Wei Wuxian said too quickly, voice a bit too high.

Jiang Cheng set the brush down abruptly, turned, and fixed him with a hard glare. “The last time you said ‘it’s nothing,’ you were walking around without a golden core and lying to everyone about it. So let’s try that again: What’s wrong?” he repeated.

Wei Wuxian hesitated, then sighed. “It’s really nothing. I’m just feeling nostalgic, because my tadpoles got their clarity bells.” He used that nickname for the baby disciples who’d helped him handle Jiang Cheng’s new puppy.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed. “And? They’re already training with spiritual swords, already cultivated their cores. Of course, they’re ready for clarity bells. They have stable spiritual signatures by now,” he said flatly.

Wei Wuxian waved a hand, almost defensively. “I know. It’s just weird because they are kids, but I was probably that age when I got mine too, and it was a hundred years ago and I felt very old.”

“It was a fucking nightmare. You pestered everybody when you were working on your clarity bell.”

“It was so frustrating! It was torture! I had to meditate for a whole month just to get my clarity bell calibrated.”

Jiang Cheng snorted. “That’s because you did it the wrong way, but it worked anyway, because the way the channels in the clarity bells are made, you just need to keep it close enough to imprint your energy.”

“Really? So that story about some people never getting their bells to ring…?”

Jiang Cheng raised a brow. “That old tale? No one believes it anymore.”

“Believe me, they do.”

“What did you do?”

“I told the kids about our poor shidi who had to leave the sect because his clarity bell was mute. They didn’t believe me at first, but now they’ll give their best.”

“Wei Wuxian!”

“Ah, a-Cheng! It’s just a joke! That story was floating around when we were small. I just gave it a face. Something for them to laugh about in the future. Just like we are laughing now.”

“I’m not laughing. I just told you it was a nightmare!”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes drifted away, voice dropping. “It felt strange. Talking to them about that story. The clarity bell is a Jiang spiritual tool, and they’re Jiang disciples. And I’m… not. Not anymore.” He trailed off, then straightened with forced cheerfulness, raising his voice like he was putting on a show.

“Not that I’m sad, of course! Absolutely not! Life is wonderful! I have the freedom to roam between Lotus Pier and Cloud Recesses. A whole variety of disciples to annoy — Lan, Jiang, you name it. And no tedious leadership responsibilities. I get to be the mysterious substitute, teaching the dangerous and forbidden stuff. The funny stuff. Who could ask for more? Certainly not me! I’m definitely not the type to get misty-eyed over juniors and the fact that I’m not their official senior!”

Jiang Cheng stared, voice dripping with exasperation and teasing disbelief. “So… you’re telling me you are sad because all your friends got a new toy and you also want one?”

“I’m not a child.”

“No? Because you are behaving like a three-year-old brat. You’ve had one clarity bell.”

“I know.”

“And you lost it.”

“I know.”

“And now you want another one.”

Wei Wuxian’s voice cracked, a hint of a whimper. “I know I’m not a Jiang anymore. You don’t have to remind me. I wasn’t even going to say anything if you hadn’t pushed.”

Jiang Cheng’s dark eyes gleamed with dry humor and a hint of grudging affection. “So, do you want another one or not?”

Wei Wuxian blinked, fighting back the lump in his throat. “Of course I do, but I know…”

Jiang Cheng snorted, rising and striding to a drawer. He pulled out a small lacquered box, tossing it onto the table with a grunt. “You really have no shame, do you? You leave me alone with a clan in ruins, you die, you come back years later after all the damage is fixed just to cause more trouble. You get permission to stay at Cloud Recesses, permission to accompany Jin Ling, permission to enter Lotus Pier, you even got a room here—and you still want a clarity bell? What’s next? The keys to the vault? The secret to the protection shields?” He smirked, but his voice softened just a bit.

“Please, don’t unleash the dogs on me.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

A small clarity bell landed on the table between them, still mute. Jiang Cheng sat back down as if nothing had happened, propping his chin on his hand.

“Here. Now shut up.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, his eyes shining despite the smile he tried to hide. “So… I’m getting a clarity bell?”

“And you better calibrate it fast, because the ceremony is in two days.”

Wei Wuxian held the new clarity bell in his hand, turning it over carefully. Compared to his old one—crafted by Jiang Feimeng—this new bell was heavier, its edges sharper. The differences weren’t just in the shape, but in the feeling it gave off. It was as if the bell carried the weight of time itself. He barely caught Jiang Cheng’s last word.

“Ceremony?” he asked, frowning slightly, his eyes still tracing the delicate curves of the bell.

Jiang Cheng didn’t look up. “Yeah. The ceremony at the memorial.”

Wei Wuxian blinked. “The memorial?”

“Yes, the memorial. You know about the memorial. I told you about it,” Jiang Cheng said, voice low but firm. “Every disciple visits after they get their clarity bell. I know you asked about it when you first came here; do not act dumb.”

Wei Wuxian was silent, the weight of those words settling in his chest. He knew about the memorial—it was sacred, off-limits to most, a place wrapped in pain and memory. He never expected to be allowed there. He’d been coming to Lotus Pier for years now and even got permission to enter the Ancient Hall — thanks to Lan Zhan, who apologized for the incident years ago and made Jiang Cheng so embarrassed that it worked . But the memorial? That was different. A part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to go there, because he still felt guilty for... not everything, but most of it. It wasn’t just a place. It was a reminder—a raw wound that hadn’t fully healed. Still, as he held the clarity bell, a quiet resolve began to stir.

Maybe it was time to face what he’d been avoiding.

* * *

The memorial hall was quiet but alive, a solemn space carved deep into Lotus Pier’s oldest foundations. The air was thick with reverence and history, filled with the faint hum of spiritual energy.

Rows of clarity bells hung on a grand, curved wall — each bell delicate and shimmering with its own unique glow, infused with the lingering spiritual signature of those who had perished in the massacre and the war. Outside the memorial, each bell could only be activated voluntarily by its owner, keeping the world around Lotus Pier peaceful and quiet.

Inside the memorial, however, the arrangement of the bells was special. Placed with precision and care, they formed a network that allowed them to resonate together in harmony, as if they were conversing. To function, the bells required spiritual energy, and only Jiang Cheng could provide it. He alone knew the signatures of all who had died, and through his careful guidance, the bells could use his energy to awaken and intertwine their tones without losing their individual voices.

Wei Wuxian’s steps were slow and hesitant as he entered with Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling, and the small group of young disciples — their faces bright with excitement and youthful energy. These kids had never known the war, nor the old Wei Wuxian, but they looked up to him with playful affection, their easy laughter softening the heavy atmosphere.

None of them knew the people that were being honored there. Wei Wuxian knew all of them. His chest tightened. He glanced at the bells — wondering if those who had died might still harbor anger toward him. After all, hadn’t he been the chaos at the heart of so much pain?

As the new disciples approached the wall, their clarity bells in hand, something unexpected happened. Jiang Cheng activated the memorial’s mechanism, sending spiritual energy through the carefully arranged bells. One by one, they began to chime softly, each tone weaving into the others. The sound was a quiet welcome, a warm embrace. The bells of those long gone resonated not with blame or sorrow, but with acceptance and gratitude.

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, feeling the vibrations ripple through him — the unmistakable signatures of the fallen intertwining with those of the living. And then, among them, he recognized familiar patterns: Madam Yu’s clear, steady note; Jiang Feimeng’s deeper, more solemn chime; even a faint trace of Yanli’s bright tone.

A tender warmth spread through him, a silent forgiveness that no words could capture, but that he could feel in his bones. As the new disciples’ bells sang alongside those of Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling, the sound shifted — and then Wei Wuxian realized it too was a gift. Jiang Cheng knew exactly what he was doing. He knew the past was… painful, so he brought the future with them. That was his reason not to bring Wei Wuxian alone to the memorial.

In that moment, surrounded by the harmony of countless souls, the weight of guilt eased, replaced by something softer: hope, belonging, and the quiet power of forgiveness.

Wei Wuxian’s tears flowed freely, his shoulders shaking as sobs escaped him. The others gave him space, quietly watching from a respectful distance. No one interrupted; they simply let him be until the storm inside him calmed.

After a long moment, he wiped his eyes, took a shaky breath, and approached Jiang Cheng.

“It’s remarkable. Thank you for letting me in,” he said, voice thick.

Jiang Cheng shrugged, trying to sound indifferent, but his tone carried the weight of years.

“It doesn’t make sense if you do not own a clarity bell. And I don’t give clarity bells to anyone.”

“Thank you for that too. I’m not losing it this time.”

“You better not,” Jiang Cheng said. “It wasn’t easy. Finding the clarity bells, getting them all together, making sense of the chaos in their energy… At first, it was all wild, unstable.”

He looked at the bells lining the walls, eyes distant.

“I spent a lot of time alone with them before I could even think about letting the new disciples come close. Meeting them changed everything. Their energy brought hope to the bells… to all of us. After that, things settled.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, a soft smile breaking through his lingering sadness.

“They’re not angry at me,” he murmured.

Jiang Cheng snorted. “Why would they be? You’re not that important, Wei Wuxian. They have welcomed hundreds of disciples to the clan. They have better things to do than harbour any animosity against you. I’m the only one with endless anger and resentment.”

“You can quit the act, jiujiu . You just gave him a clarity bell. He knows you love him too.” Just then, Jin Ling stepped up beside them, grinning.

“Spoiled brat!” he shouted back, before allowing himself to get too emotional.

“I’m not even your favorite nephew anymore. You can’t call me spoiled.”

“Are you still mad because I went hunting water ghouls with Shizhui?”

“You know how much I like hunting water ghouls! You could have invited me too!”

“And I know how good you are at it! Your cousin sucks! He needs all the help he can get.”

“Or he can suck at one thing. He doesn’t have to be perfect. I suck at many things.”

“Aren’t you getting private lessons with big brother Xichen?” pointed Wei Wuxian, ready to stir the fire.

“Well, yes, but only because…”

“You stole a-Yuan’s favorite uncle first. He is just paying you the favor.”

“I didn’t do that! I don’t know why Zewu-Jun decided to write to me, but since he did, I had to answer. I was only being polite. And the private lessons… It was Shizhui’s idea, because he was worried and I thought Zewu-Jun would say ‘no’ because he isn’t accepting visits, but…” He protested and explained all the situation, unaware that the uncles had quietly arranged the letters to coax Lan Xichen to talk to him, and that Shizhui, without coordination, later encouraged the same idea on his own.

“But no one says ‘no’ to our golden boy.”

“Haven’t I told you?” Jiang Cheng agreed. “He couldn't help being a spoiled brat.”

“You say ‘no’ to me all the time.”

“Because I raised you. I’m immune or you would be dead by now.”

“You are mean.”

“We can go hunt water ghouls anytime, a-Ling. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jin Ling crossed his arms, muttering just loud enough for them to hear.

“Yeah… until Shizhui asks first.”

“I didn’t know you were this stingy.”

“I’m your nephew. I learned with the best.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and gave him a slight push on the shoulder to keep him moving. They were already late for lunch. Wei Wuxian followed, watching the two of them with that smile that mixed nostalgia and comfort.

* * *

After the first visit to the memorial, when the disciples had received their bells and the halls had been filled with young voices, there came another. This time, it was only Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. They came on the anniversary of the massacre, not for ceremony, but for remembrance.

Jiang Cheng had thought of building the memorial immediately after the war, imagining he would one day walk those halls with both his siblings and they would mourn together. But Yanli and Wei Wuxian had died before it was completed.

The memorial was built anyway, and for years he had walked alone, carrying the memory and the weight in silence. Now, however, he was not alone, and it was nothing short of a miracle to be here with someone, not alone as he had been for so long.

Inside, Wei Wuxian stepped forward and laid his hand against the mechanism. At once, the clarity bells stirred. One by one, then all at once, their voices wove together, filling the chamber in a resonance that was both sorrowful and serene. The sound rose and fell like breath, echoing through the carved walls, not chaotic, not overwhelming, but ordered, harmonious—as though the clan itself had gathered once more.

Neither of them spoke. Jiang Cheng listened, the echoes pressing against his chest, and thought back to all the times he had accused Wei Wuxian of replacing people too easily, of abandoning the old whenever he found someone new. But here was proof, undeniable: Wei Wuxian had not forgotten anyone, or the bells would not be ringing.

After the bells had begun to sing, they prepared their offerings. A small bowl of peeled lotus seeds rested on a carved table, and they lit incense sticks. The scent rose in thin spirals, filling the silent chamber with a fragrant warmth. They remained in quiet reverence until the incense burned completely, the smoke curling slowly into the high ceiling.

When it was finished, they turned and left together. Outside, the sky was clear.

At the gate, Jiang Cheng gave a small nod. Not a command, not a concession—just a gesture. Wei Wuxian answered with the faintest of smiles. Without another word, they agreed to go drink together.