Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The morning after Sangyeon and Jaehyun move into their new house they go out for a jog. It is inconspicuous, Sangyeon finds, as even in affluent neighbourhoods like this there is no reason to wonder about the identity of a couple of runners dipping down streets at random. All the same, Sangyeon feels the way he keeps gawping at the sprawling plots of land and the architectural flair of these detached houses is suspicious. He has just moved into one himself and he is supposed to be used to surroundings like these. He glances at Jaehyun as they keep pace together, but he supposes he can try to work his own wonder into an overly-inquisitive nature to temper the bland indifference on Jaehyun's face. 

"Is that her?" Jaehyun asks as he jerks his chin in the direction of yet another young woman. Anybody who has been tending to their gardens, or collecting parcels, or washing their cars in the heat of the summer has drawn the question out of Jaehyun’s mouth. Sangyeon would like to point out that he would let Jaehyun know when they encounter the target, but he has been watching the houses more than the inhabitants. 

"That's not her," Sangyeon says of the dog walker. 

"Do you want to maybe keep an eye out then? Do your job," Jaehyun suggests. 

"I'm surveying our surroundings. It is helpful for our work to know the lay of the land, isn't it?" 

"We are newlyweds who could survey this neighbourhood in far easier ways. We could take a romantic stroll in the evening if you'd like."

As reluctant as Sangyeon has been to admit it, he is glad that he has been set an assignment like this with Jaehyun. They get on fairly well and Jaehyun is one of the better field agents at Creker, but he isn't as subtle as his reputation suggests. Jaehyun swats Sangyeon’s arm the second they turn down the next street. 

"Her?" 

Finally the target is in sight. "That's her. Jo Haseul."

"Really? If my parents had mysteriously disappeared I wouldn't be riding around on a bicycle with a basket full of daffodils."

"Isn't that because you can't ride a bike?" Sangyeon suggests. Jaehyun laughs despite himself before turning serious a moment later. The target is getting closer and they can't risk losing the chance to meet here. 

"Would you like to do the honours?" Jaehyun asks. 

"I absolutely would not."

Jaehyun makes a disbelieving sound before he shortens his stride and tumbles gracelessly to the ground. He has a talent for this, and he manages to graze his knees badly. 

"Jaehyun!" Sangyeon cries as he drops to crouch beside his injured partner. Not even a second later Sangyeon hears the creaking of bicycle brakes and the target is hurrying over. 

"Are you alright?" Haseul is prettier than her case profile picture this close. Concern wrinkles her forehead but it is obvious that she has a kind face. She tucks her hair behind her ear and peers at Jaehyun curiously. "I didn't see properly, did you hit your head?" 

"I didn't, thank you," Jaehyun says cheerily. "My beautiful knees will never be the same again though."

Jaehyun shouldn't say things like this without warning. Sangyeon just barely catches himself before he snorts too loudly. Haseul and Jaehyun both look at Sangyeon. 

"Do you need me to kiss it better?" Sangyeon asks awkwardly. 

"I do. Quickly, before the pain becomes unbearable."

Improvising like this is easy. Sangyeon is quick to press his lips to the side of Jaehyun’s knee and he starts to help him up. And as predicted, Jo Haseul also helps. 

"Thank you for coming to see if I was alright," Jaehyun says. "I must have tripped over a crack in the pavement. I will have to be more careful."

To Jaehyun's credit, there really is a crack in the pavement. 

"No, you could have been badly hurt!" Haseul says. "No matter how careful you are you could still get injured if the street is damaged."

"That's true. We should give up on jogging today and get you patched up, I think. I am ever so sorry to ask, Miss, but we are new to the area. We should probably have paid more attention to where we were going. Could you point us in the direction of Cedar Drive?"

"Oh! That's my street! You must be the new neighbours at number 11. My name is Jo Haseul. I live opposite you at number 12." 

"That's great. I am Lee Jaehyun, and this is Lee Sangyeon." 

Haseul's gaze catches on Sangyeon for a moment after the introductions and she asks, "Sorry, have we met somewhere before?" 

Sangyeon shakes his head and glances at Jaehyun. "I shouldn't think so. We only moved to the area yesterday, and I don't start working at the primary school until Monday."

"You're a primary school teacher too? This is an amazing coincidence! Which school?" 

"Paransup Primary School ," Sangyeon offers. Haseul practically squeals with surprise. 

"That's the school I teach at! This really feels like fate. Look, I have goosebumps," Haseul says as she loosens her grip on her bicycle handles to show off her forearm. Sure enough, she has goosebumps. But she wouldn't if she knew the truth. 

"Fate or not, Sangyeon is spoken for," Jaehyun warns. He tightens the grip of his arm over Sangyeon’s shoulders and offers his left hand the same way Haseul had shown the goosebumps on her arm. The ring on Jaehyun's finger looks plain and inexpensive. It isn't even real gold. It is more useful than a wedding ring though. Sangyeon hasn't seen any others capable of scrambling frequencies, and alerting the wearer to messages from the matching pair, not that Haseul needs to know that much. "I won't be happy if you steal my husband from me."

Haseul laughs. "I am sort of married too! We don't have rings though. This is so amazing how much we have in common. It is almost spooky. Let's go home."

Haseul points out landmarks in the form of neighbourhood gossip and mentions notable streets on the way back to their homes. It looks as though Sangyeon and Jaehyun won't need to take that romantic stroll after all. Haseul rings the bell on her bicycle to punctuate her anecdote about teaching some of her class how to ride their bicycles and the kids were more bothered about ringing the bells on their handlebars. 

When they reach their homes, Haseul waves enthusiastically from across the street before heading inside her garage. 

Jaehyun closes the front door. "Didn't that seem too easy?" 

"Definitely."

"Do you think she killed her parents?" Jaehyun asks. He leads the way into the kitchen, hobbling as though a couple of grazed knees would really trouble him. "Do we have a first-aid kit?" 

"I hope so."

"You hope she killed her parents?" Jaehyun asks. He finds a green case in one of the kitchen cupboards and sets it on the counter. He hops up beside the case and pats the box. "Patch me up, dear."

"Would you do this for me if I had been the one who fell?" 

"You're my wonderful husband whom I love dearly," Jaehyun says. "What sort of person would I have to be to not return the favour?"

Sangyeon cleans the grit from Jaehyun's knees and tries to find plasters large enough to cover the wounds. 

"I don't think Jo Haseul would have killed her parents, or kidnapped them, or anything. She seems sweet. I don't think she knows anything about the disappearance of the scientists."

"So no leads?" 

Sangyeon shakes his head. "I didn't say that."

"Hey, do you want to try the roll bandage and some patches?" 

Sangyeon rolls his eyes. He takes Jaehyun's suggestion into consideration. "I can't believe you need all your wounds dressing even after I kissed your knees better."

"You need to work on kissing things better. It almost worked though. So where are we supposed to get leads if not from your friend from school?" 

"Have you forgotten that you are going to be rubbing shoulders with politicians and diplomats and getting tonnes of potential leads?" 

Jaehyun groans and leans onto Sangyeon’s shoulder heavily. "That's no fun. Juyeon probably already worked everything out seeing as he has been working there for months."

Sangyeon pats Jaehyun's shoulder sympathetically. "He doesn't work with us anymore. He's not paid to look for the same things as you are." 

Jaehyun grins and pinches Sangyeon’s arm, but he unfortunately doesn't make any assurances that he intends to do any work himself. 

Chapter Text

Sangyeon is almost late to his third day of work because he gets caught up in a debate with Jaehyun about whether it would be a good idea to get a dog. As sound as Jaehyun's reasoning is that they are financially comfortable, could work out time in their schedules, and it would be easier than having a child, Sangyeon needs to stick with rejecting the idea. 

The lengthy discussion is probably just in jest anyway but it still wastes most of the morning before a rushed breakfast. 

Sangyeon had been hoping to read over his class register a few more times and memorise the names matched with the seating plan that had been set by the previous teacher, especially in light of the entry on the class calendar which had been highlighted at the start of the week. However Sangyeon barely managed to remember his bag before getting into the car to leave. 

Usually Sangyeon is good at memorising things, it is just part of his job, but that ability has dwindled to nothing this week. The children whine pathetically when Sangyeon gets their names wrong and they have so many different quirks that weren't written anywhere that remembering all the important details is impossible. 

"Try not to make anyone cry," is the wisdom imparted by Jaehyun when he drops Sangyeon off at Paransup Primary School . Sangyeon would love to avoid making anyone cry but the air is unsettled when the children are outside the classroom and hanging their coats and bags on their pegs. Sangyeon needs to help the unease to dissipate, at least for the sake of the children. 

"Good morning, children."

"Good morning, teacher," the children chorus. Privately, Sangyeon loves the uniform way the children respond to every little thing. Even the children who have only been at school for a year adapt to the rules and routines. Each mind is ready to absorb whatever the school syllabus demands, and this young the only real issues are distraction. First thing in the morning, the children are attentive. 

"Class five, before you sit down on the carpet this morning, I would like you to fetch your rough working books from your drawers."

Immediately a hand shoots up from the middle of the line. Sangyeon can only hazard a guess and hope he gets the name right as he adjusts his round spectacles. 

"Yes, Youngjae?"

"What if we lost our rough work books and Miss Kwon forgot to give us new ones? I didn't drop my rough book in a puddle, it just disappeared, but now I don't have one at all."

Even this is insanely adorable. But Sangyeon can save himself from letting his thoughts aloud. As impossible as it seems right now, these children won't be able to get through life with cuteness alone. Their teacher must talk to them properly. 

"That is fine. I will try to find a new book for you. Are there any other children who have lost their rough working books?" 

Sangyeon waits a moment. Two more hands rise into the air. This is manageable. 

"I will find new books for you too. Please line up at my desk. Everyone else, please fetch your rough books and sit down." 

The children file into the classroom and Sangyeon closes the door behind them. The sounds of chatter and laughter are good enough cover when Sangyeon notices how upset one of the girls standing at his desk appears. The reminder of Jaehyun’s warning not to make anyone cry makes Sangyeon wary, but this isn't his first day anymore. He isn't going to repeat the blunders of the previous few days; making careless comments, being scary, and mixing up the children are all things he will avoid. 

(Though Sangyeon isn't sure how he is scary in the first place so avoiding that sounds like too much of a challenge.) 

He finds blank exercise books from one of the cupboards and kneels before the children at his desk. He hands new rough working books to Youngjae and Yena. "You have to make sure to keep these rough working books safe. You are very lucky that there were a couple of books left over so you shouldn't waste your luck by losing these ones. Do you promise to be very responsible?" 

"Yes, Mr Lee."

"Good. Go and sit down on the carpet."

Yena and Youngjae scurry over to the carpet and find spaces to sit with their friends and chatter. Sangyeon hasn't given Nayeon her replacement book yet and she looks even more worried than before. Sangyeon smiles but Nayeon's face is frozen with worry. 

"Am I in trouble?" Nayeon asks, her voice just a small creak from the back of her throat. 

"Of course you're not in trouble," Sangyeon says. She doesn't look like she believes him but that is fair seeing as she is being kept after the other children. "I have a rough working book for you, but I also have a very special job for you. Our class is going to do a big project and I want you to be my assistant. Would you like to help me out?" 

Nayeon tilts her head up to look at Sangyeon properly. She isn't half as guarded as she was a moment ago. "I can help?"

"Absolutely. You can be my assistant and you can even choose a friend to help us too. You can think about it for a while but let me know later, alright?" 

Nayeon nods quickly, the dimples in her cheeks deepening with her smile. She practically skips over to the children on the carpet after Sangyeon hands her a new book. This feels like success. Nobody has cried and they are already a few minutes into the day. 

After taking the register Sangyeon tells the class about a date in the class calendar. They will be putting on an assembly for their schoolmates and for visitors. The reaction is a mixed one but most of the children seem pleased that their usual afternoon lessons will be replaced with something less structured. 

Sangyeon has his reservations about it though. He might have a primary education degree but he hasn't actually been in a classroom for a while, no matter how much Creker fudged his credentials. Having the children sitting in assigned seats and doing his best to teach them the syllabus content is too different to the children being let loose with the potential to do anything at all. 

There is supposed to be a teaching assistant to help out on certain days but Sangyeon has to thank his own bad luck for the fact that the teaching assistant is ill on the day Sangyeon would like the illusion of support. He is alone today and probably going to make the worst start to the play that Ms Kwon had written up for the children to perform. He can only hope that if things go as poorly as imagined Ms Kwon won't be around to see it. 

Despite Jaehyun's warning, Sangyeon thinks he is the one most at risk of crying. 

The morning goes as well as expected with literacy and numeracy lessons and a P.E. lesson after break. And then Sangyeon takes the children to the playground for their lunch break and he returns to his classroom and considers crawling under his desk for half an hour and working out how to cease existing. 

Sangyeon’s ring puts an end to those plans. He looks at his hand and wonders what Jaehyun could want. Nonetheless this time is as convenient as any so he sends the signal back, a small twist and this ring vibrates sternly. A moment later he answers his ringing phone. 

"Hey, are you alright?" 

Jaehyun makes a strange noise and says, "You sound awful. I was expecting to call you and have you tell me how great your day is going. What's wrong? I refuse to let my trophy husband feel upset." 

Sangyeon laughs. "It's nothing. Why did you call me? Did you find something out?" 

"No," Jaehyun says. "I was being serious. I called because I know it is your breaktime and I wanted to know how you are."

There is a reason Sangyeon is more comfortable with conversations like this remaining jokes. He'd rather not have the chance to pretend that this is real after all. Because this isn't real, Sangyeon doesn't need to tell this husband everything. 

But Jaehyun's intuition is too strong, just like when he can simply sense that something isn't quite right in the field. 

"Sangyeon, this is still only your first week here. Please tell me what is the matter. We have a long stretch ahead of us and I don't want things eating you up when you could just talk to me."

Sangyeon wishes he could hate Jaehyun for this, for being too smart for his own good, but this is just another thing that bubbles pride into Sangyeon’s chest. His friend is scarily accurate with guesses and he also happens to be very persuasive. So Sangyeon doesn't crawl underneath his desk. He remains seated like a normal person would be and he admits to all the things about teaching this class which are too complex. 

Perhaps working as a field agent for so long has dulled the ways Sangyeon thinks when a situation isn't literally about life and death. Not that he had always been able to make the right decisions then either. 

The problems at school aren't fatal but Sangyeon is terrified of what could upset the children or spark off unruly behaviour. This isn't how he was when he was doing his primary education degree at university. He revised all he could until he understood ways of managing a classroom, and he thought back then that becoming a teacher would be easy because he was prepared. In the years since, Sangyeon has prepared for many other things; he has prepared to steal, to protect, to infiltrate and he has prepared to die. But none of that has come close to the dread of inadvertently doing something wrong inside a classroom. 

How many times does a child being called the wrong name, or ignored when they raise their hand, or being asked to speak when they don't know, or getting picked last when arranging groups, or having their work marked with crosses eventually wear them down?

Sangyeon has only been here for a couple of days but these children have their own little histories which will steer them into their vast futures and Sangyeon’s impact is meant to be insignificant. He is just meant to pose as a teacher until the mission is over and all the actual responsibilities of the job are secondary until Creker get their pay for providing services to their client. 

"You do realise that you went for a real interview at the school," Jaehyun points out. "You're doing a job for real employers. They chose you out of all the applicants for a reason."

"Is the reason not that recruitment was rigged?" 

"No, shut up," Jaehyun says. "I'd probably be nervous too if I was you. But actually my job is boring. It is a lot of standing around and being polite to rude people. But I get to hang out with Juyeon so it is a bit like the old days." 

Sangyeon laughs, maybe in part at the thought of Jaehyun being nervous over something like this, but mostly that nothing much has changed for Jaehyun if he is spending his shifts doing what he used to do. 

"Should I keep being nervous?" Sangyeon asks seeing as Jaehyun hasn't exactly said there is nothing to worry about. 

"No way. You're the best person for the job. You're going to be a teacher those kids love and respect and in a few years they'll be glad that they got to meet you. When you come home to me and our imaginary dog I want you to remember that we are proud of you."

Sangyeon can't help himself. His cheeks ache from how much he is smiling. Despite his best efforts he can't pretend to be entirely professional. Speaking so easily with Jaehyun is nice, it feels natural enough that he needs to remind himself that the shoes he is wearing aren't his own. He has his own face, his own name, and his own feelings, but this life has been molded for a person who is very distinctly not Sangyeon. All the same, he masks his betrayal in open carelessness. 

"I'm so glad I married you."

"Even if you married someone else, I wouldn't have rested until you chose me."

"Sounds like it was lucky I saved you all that effort. We're not getting a dog though."

Jaehyun laughs, full and rounded with surprise. The sound sparks warmth in Sangyeon’s chest and he thinks that maybe he will be alright after all. 

Sangyeon gets the bus home on the days that Jaehyun is working. It made the most sense that Jaehyun drops Sangyeon off at work before continuing on to the civic buildings for his own shifts. It means Sangyeon is over an hour early but he can take the time to go over lesson plans, familiarise himself with the syllabus and do his sneaking around without interruptions. 

On the days that Jaehyun is working nights, they devised a plan where Sangyeon drives to whichever civic building Jaehyun has been stationed at to pick Jaehyun up in the morning and drive to the school for work before Jaehyun takes the car home and goes to sleep. Jaehyun is still insisting he should collect Sangyeon at the end of the school day and Sangyeon can take Jaehyun back to the civic buildings in time for his 7pm start but Sangyeon doesn't really think that arrangement will last long. 

On days that Jaehyun isn't working, Sangyeon has the car to himself. At the weekends, Sangyeon will drop Jaehyun off and pick him up and use the car for whatever errands necessary. 

The thing is, the car arrangements are too complicated and Sangyeon really doesn't mind getting the bus. It is summer so even though the nearest bus stop is almost twenty minutes walk from home, Sangyeon likes his commute. It is peaceful and it gives Sangyeon time to think. Perhaps another month of this will wear thin on Sangyeon’s patience but perhaps not. 

Sangyeon takes his time to think about what to make for dinner, goes for a run, does a quick workout in the home gym which takes up half of the garage space, takes a shower, and writes up his notes to report back to Creker whilst cooking whatever he thinks might please Jaehyun the most. 

Years ago, Sangyeon wanted to be a teacher. He was from a family of teachers and since childhood he would spend a lot of time perfecting the imaginary school he ran with his sister. When an agent from Creker approached Sangyeon it seemed interesting, if far-fetched, so he decided to see what it would be like and why a spy agency was looking at primary education students to become potential agents. To his family, Sangyeon might as well be dead. The preparations to become an agent involved detaching from family and existing in no more than superficial ways. It is for the best not to be too attached to the burdens and guilt of filial failure. 

In Sangyeon’s line of work, being a spy not a teacher, death is an inevitability. Some agents can reach for more administrative or management roles but they are no less removed from the dangers of the job. They are not invisible. 

Only a year ago, those administrators and managers helped Sangyeon out of difficulty, though he supposes they were at risk of sharing his fate. Conspiracy is just as culpable as the hand that commits an act, so these people proved not to be invisible and they proved determined not to let Sangyeon fall to the disasters of imprisonment. At least they proved it this time. Other agents have not been so lucky and Sangyeon doesn't see a second chance in his future. He needs to fix up and get this mission right. 

Sangyeon is chopping too many mushrooms when he wonders whether it would be strange to call his family. He puts the knife down and stares out of the kitchen window that hangs above the sink. It is nice, a sash window with cute little wooden bars separating small panes in the window frame. The window doesn't open very far, but the window is the sort of window that he remembers from his childhood home. The window is similar to the ones drawn by his class children in their rough working books when they were asked to design homely sets for the play they will perform in their assembly. It is the sort of window Sangyeon would like to have in the home he raises his own children in. 

He decides not to call his family. It would be strange to call them after such a long stretch of silence and the temptation must only have gnawed at Sangyeon’s skin because of the window. 

This life is not Sangyeon’s. He might be calling Jaehyun his husband and making the effort to cook to take the pressure off his hardworking husband, but this is not real. No matter how much effort he and Jaehyun put in, the salaries from their jobs are going to be paid directly to the agency. They each get an allowance from Creker which is almost like a salary aside from the fact that it can be changed or revoked at any time. Sangyeon still needs to pay the rent for his actual home from his allowance. The money he spends each day earning is churned into something else for the agency. 

There is still work to be done maintaining this fictional life which funds this Creker mission. Sangyeon searches in the cupboards for a frying pan so that he can sautée mushrooms and onions. He doesn't have too many complaints about this house and his circumstances, but he would have liked to know that the fixtures and fittings were quality assured. Sangyeon hasn't even lived in this house for a week yet the same cupboard door has fallen free of its hinges for the fifth time in so many days. The least Creker could do is use some of his school salary to fix irritating defects like that. 

When Jaehyun arrives home, Sangyeon is in the attic doing some cleaning. The process is methodical and it helps him to think but on this occasion he prefers the more difficult moments when he doesn't have the capacity to think. 

The ring on Sangyeon’s left hand vibrates with the stinging notification that probably means Jaehyun is searching for him. But he isn't inclined to distract himself from the task at hand just for the sake of reassurance. 

Having so many weapons in the house means that extra care needs to be put into maintaining them all and there are some guns here Sangyeon has never trained with and has never had to learn how to reassemble them at speed. Taking time to be cautious makes sense. 

Until Sangyeon feels lips brush against the back of his neck. The gun clatters to the workbench and Sangyeon sighs before turning to face a grinning Jaehyun. 

"What was that for?" 

"You were ignoring me," Jaehyun says simply. He shifts to lean against the workbench, collar unbuttoned and tie hanging loosely around his neck. It looks like he got distracted whilst undressing though nothing is urgent enough that he should have been unable to finish such a basic task. "Should I be concerned that you didn't even hear me come into the attic?" 

"No. It must be because you're so stealthy you could sneak in anywhere."

"Even if that was true, what about the ring. Didn't you feel it?" 

"I was busy."

Jaehyun folds his arms and sighs. "Too busy to pay attention to me, I see. But I think it is worth mentioning that whenever you send an alert to my ring I stop whatever I am doing. I say, 'my darling husband needs me,' aloud for all the world to hear, and then I await instruction for how I can meet your every need."

Sangyeon mostly hopes that Jaehyun is lying because that would be a very strange way to go about covert business. Then again Sangyeon belatedly realises that they haven't been sending very many alerts about the assignment. 

"I will try to be a better husband," Sangyeon promises. He reaches for Jaehyun's tie. "I hope my husbandly duties don't extend to dressing you."

Jaehyun hums thoughtfully. "Maybe we should try that out. I don't think we have much time before we have to get on that Creker call."

"Go and make yourself decent," Sangyeon says. He tries his best to clear away the gun pieces and locks up the armoury before going into the back bedroom to wait for the satellite link from the agency. 

"I can't believe we don't have chairs in here or anything," Jaehyun says as he comes into the bedroom and pats Sangyeon’s shoulder. 

"I thought I told you to look decent."

Jaehyun gestures down at the burgundy smoking jacket he changed into. "Decent."

"You look like you're waiting for an invitation to the playboy mansion."

"What kind of bunny would I be if I dressed like this?" Jaehyun asks with a wink. He is annoying but the good sort of annoying that would have got Sangyeon into trouble if anyone other than Haknyeon was the person calling them. 

"Oh my gosh, did your mommy let you come to the office?" Jaehyun asks through the screen mounted on the wall. Haknyeon hesitates, looks uncertain about what to say as he pushes the sleeves of his lab coat up his arms and adjusts his horn-rimmed glasses. 

"Hi, Haknyeon. How are you?" 

"I'm good," Haknyeon says brightly. "How are you? Have you found anything useful for the mission?" 

Sangyeon glances at Jaehyun and wonders whether Haknyeon caught the hesitation. "We're just settling in at the moment."

"So you haven't found out anything about the location of the scientists? We have mostly sequenced the formulation of the poison but we won't be able to work out who created it without them consulting," Haknyeon explains. 

Sangyeon nods along and pretends he understands it all. But then Jaehyun says what Sangyeon was thinking. 

"Why did you call them 'scientists'? You're a scientist too. You're not really convincing as a real adult."

"I'm an adult," Haknyeon says. He doesn't sound entirely sure. He scratches his head and blinks nervously whilst he tries to gather his thoughts. "They're different scientists. Pharmacists. Toxicologists? And we need them to find the person trying to kill all the important government people."

"Don't say a word," Sangyeon hisses. Jaehyun does restrain himself this time. 

"I have been making friends at the civic buildings. It looked as though I was going to get stationed somewhere boring like a council building in Ansan but I managed to switch up the lists so I can hang out with Juyeon."

"I don't think you should be doing that," Haknyeon says. 

"But I would do the same if it meant I got to hang out with you," Jaehyun says. He is most definitely being sincere. Haknyeon's cheeks pink so at least he is pleased to hear that. 

"You're allowed to have fun but you should probably try to find the bad guys before another diplomat is killed."

"I will bear that in mind," Jaehyun grins. 

"Have you found anything out, Sangyeon?" Haknyeon asks. 

"Not as of yet," Sangyeon admits. "We made contact with the target Jo Haseul. We have not yet had an opportunity to make any inquiries about the location of her parents. So far our cover is intact."

"That sounds good," Haknyeon nods. And then he doesn't say much else. 

The mission apparently isn't an important one. That much was obvious even before they had to give their oral report to Haknyeon. 

The assassinations (though they have been reported in the media as catering carelessness which triggered fatal anaphylaxis) are more than just minor trouble. Creker have teams investigating the links between the two dead diplomats (though at this point the attacks appear to be random) and they have teams investigating as many political links as they can with their resources. 

Creker has taken on quite a large task as the main contractor of this mission and they are doing all they can to impress. They managed to obtain samples from around the crime scenes and the bodies themselves and Haknyeon has been part of the team testing the substances. Creker even brought in renowned toxicologists to consult on the case to solve the origin of the poisons. But these scientists suddenly disappeared without being able to make any great contributions. 

Eager to limit further scandals such as expending the lives of sub-contractors and guest agents, Creker launched a minor side-mission. Sangyeon and Jaehyun need to recover the two scientists. If they can make any discoveries to help out the main case it would be an added bonus but they primarily need to work out how Jo Haseul's parents disappeared days after being brought on to the case. It sounds like a pedestrian mission which should be easy and Sangyeon assumes he is being kept out of the way to prevent any more disasters. Jaehyun being sent off to live with Sangyeon seemed like a strange situation until Sangyeon worked out that it is in the capacity of a babysitter. Jaehyun is a good agent, perhaps even a great one, and Creker let him get away with more than they should because he is funny and charismatic and he delivers great results. But he can't be lucky all the time so he must be here to make sure Sangyeon doesn't accidentally kill a government official himself. 

As disheartening as that reality is, he quite likes Jaehyun. They get on well together and all things considered they have never failed a mission too badly together. The house is a nice bonus, even if it is beyond the limits of what Sangyeon could ever own. 

The mission isn't of crucial importance but it will eventually become critical as all things tend to. For now Haknyeon is the person they make their reports to and they all relax into the usual rhythms when Haknyeon decides to spend the remainder of the report time slot asking about their temporary lives and what they planned to do with the spare room. 

At the dinner table twenty minutes later, Jaehyun notes, "You're awfully quiet today."

"I'm offended," Sangyeon lies. "We aren't on speaking terms after you called me a Zumba gay."

"Really?" Jaehyun asks. He gulps down some water and frowns across the table at Sangyeon. "I had the feeling that you were going to say that though. There's nothing wrong with Zumba, but just in case you think there is, what was it that you were going to say we could use the report room as?" 

Sangyeon shrugs. "I'm not sure. Not Zumba."

Jaehyun laughs like Sangyeon told a joke. He's predictable at times like this but Sangyeon can't keep a straight face when Jaehyun laughs so easily about anything at all. 

But then Jaehyun asks, "How was school? Are the kids planning on getting their revenge on you because you keep forgetting their names?" 

"Nobody corrected me today, so I think I am getting better at that," Sangyeon says. "But the play we have to do in an assembly at the end of next month is strange. Their proper teacher actually wrote a funny little script to adapt The Little Prince which the class had read together earlier in the term. We have six more weekly sessions and then on the last week we are rehearsing every afternoon."

"That sounds intensive,"Jaehyun notes. "Is their other teacher coming to the assembly?" 

"I don't know. I asked the receptionists but they aren't sure about her due date. But can I ask a favour?"

Jaehyun nods and leans forward on the table. "Yeah, of course. What is it?" 

"Can you book the Friday off work to come and watch the assembly?" 

Jaehyun grins. "Absolutely. I was worried you were going to ask me not to come. I'm excited now."

Sangyeon isn't sure exactly how excited Jaehyun should be seeing as he is trying to direct the play without the artistic vision of Ms Kwon but he's going to try his best with it anyway. 

Chapter Text

"I knew we had met before."

Sangyeon looks up from the floor plan of one of the administrative offices which he had sifted in with lesson plans on his desk and he sees Haseul peering through the doorway. He hesitates. He says, "It's me, your neighbour Lee Sangyeon."

Haseul laughs, a pleasantly musical sound as she walks inside and leans against one of the desks. "I know that, silly. But when we met on the street the other weekend you weren't wearing any glasses. You were wearing glasses when you came in to have your interview, that's why I didn't quite recognise you."

"Oh." Sangyeon adjusts the glasses sitting on his nose. "Jaehyun makes fun of me sometimes because he says I just wear them to look smart."

"Do you actually need glasses?" 

"No," Sangyeon admits. "Jaehyun is right."

Haseul grins. "Did he make fun of you this morning?" 

"Absolutely."

"Jungeun made fun of me once when I wore fake glasses but she felt really bad about it immediately afterwards."

Sangyeon remembers the name from the file he read before moving here. He had been careful not to push for too much information but Jaehyun had said that Sangyeon could ask anything and Haseul would tell him the answer. Jaehyun might have been correct based on their initial meeting alone. Things are too easy where Jo Haseul is concerned. 

"Who is Jungeun? Is that your…" Sangyeon gestures to the band around his own ring finger and Haseul nods. 

"That's right. She's honestly very sweet. You'd like her." 

"It would be nice to meet her. Jaehyun and I were just saying how nice it would be to make some good friends in the neighbourhood. The people living either side of us haven't been the kindest when we have greeted them."

"Ah," Haseul says sagely, "That will be because you are living in the murder house." 

"The what?" 

The section in the case file providing details of the house had listed everything Sangyeon and Jaehyun would have needed to know. They have 2.5 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, a swimming pool in the back garden, a miniature armoury in the attic, a satellite connection direct to Creker headquarters in the master bedroom, and a home gym in one half of the garage. The case file did not reveal that the house was the site of any macabre activity. 

Haseul nods sagely. "I am surprised the estate agent never mentioned it to you. From what I hear there were some very grizzly circumstances. People in the neighbourhood say that house is cursed, that's why it was empty for so long before you moved in. Nobody has lived there for longer than a year after moving in. Do you think you can change things and make that your home?"

A curse is the outlandish sort of rumour which makes Sangyeon think Creker perfected their brand of secrecy. Even knowing that those sorts of things can't really be true, that all mysteries have roots in the disappointing mundane, Sangyeon wouldn't go nosing around a purportedly cursed house. It is a good cover. 

Sangyeon smiles. "Maybe there is a way to lift the curse. Getting some positive energy into the house might be a good start. What do you think about coming over for dinner? It would be nice to make some couple friends and change the reputation of the house."

Haseul tilts her head in consideration and Sangyeon is almost certain she will reject the offer right up until she asks whether tonight would be convenient. 

The lunchtime rota for the administrative staff at Paransup Primary School seems inadvisable. Locking the door is sensible when the office is empty but the window is open wide enough that Sangyeon can pull himself up onto the ledge and into the record office. 

"You're already in?" Jacob asks through the earpiece. 

"I'm sometimes good at what I do. And the window was unlocked," Sangyeon replies. He sits down at the computer showing a screen saver. It all feels a bit too convenient but Sangyeon isn't going to take ease for granted. "Where do you need me to plug you in?" 

"Literally any USB port, Sangyeon," Jacob says. "You have used a computer before, haven't you?" 

Sangyeon inspects the drive he had been provided with. It definitely is a USB. He hadn't thought it would be something so simple. He plugs it into the computer tower and borrows a loose phone charger to plug in as a power source. 

"I reckon you have thirty minutes before anyone comes here. Of course, I only have twenty before my lunchtime is over," Sangyeon says. 

"If the password is secure I might not get anything," Jacob says. "Is there anywhere you can hide the data drive?" 

"Maybe, but I am using someone's phone charger as the power, so I imagine—" 

"Nevermind. The password has been cracked. A bit too easily considering that we have just logged into a computer with so much sensitive information on it. Do you think you should say something?" 

Sangyeon laughs. He fiddles with his ring and is comforted by the subtle vibration of a reply. "I am sure they will appreciate me hacking into their computers and breaking data protection laws. But seeing as you apparently don't need me to do anything, can I make a call?" 

Jacob doesn't say anything definitive either way so Sangyeon takes that as a yes. He is already ready to make the call. And Jaehyun answers right away. 

"My dearest husband is calling me during his lunch break, whatever could the reason be?" Jaehyun asks as he answers his phone. He is so annoying and Sangyeon wonders what he is doing on his day off. 

"I just wanted to hear your beautiful voice, babe," Sangyeon says. 

"Who are you talking to?" Jacob asks, alarmed. "Is this call going to be safe for work or not?" 

"Would my wonderful, amazing husband like me to serenade him?" Jaehyun asks. He doesn't wait for a response. He begins to sing, softly, but he sounds good. Sangyeon almost doesn't want to interrupt. But he only has sixteen minutes left of his lunchtime.

"Darling husband of mine, I have something to talk to you about."

Jaehyun stops singing and hums cautiously. "When you sent me an alert through the ring I got excited but it doesn't sound like you're calling to tell me we should get a dog." 

"We're not getting a dog," Sangyeon confirms. Jacob piping up in Sangyeon’s ear for no reason is definitely not helping. "I said we're not getting a dog, stop it before you get Jaehyun's hopes up."

There is a pause before Jaehyun reminds Sangyeon that he can't hear whoever else he has apparently been talking to all this time. Sangyeon hadn't even thought he'd need to mute his communication unit, but he and Jaehyun have fallen into this rhythm easily enough that it feels like they must have always spoken like this. He tells Jaehyun that the person on the other line is only Jacob but there is something filling in the gaps around Jaehyun's words that makes Sangyeon realise that 'only' isn't as diminutive as it could be. Their work colleagues aren't the same as people they have been sent to deceive. There are boundaries which still need to be observed. That should have been obvious. 

Before Sangyeon can slip in a 'sorry', Jaehyun says, "It sounds like Jacob must be on my side, right? He thinks we should get a dog too."

It is almost like peace aside from the fact that guilt is settling in Sangyeon’s gut. He should be better than this. Someone in his line of work shouldn't be so clumsy. 

"Maybe I will count that vote if you can help me out with something," Sangyeon says. It doesn't entirely ease the unpleasantness. "I have invited Jo Haseul over for dinner tonight. We can probably find out something else about her if we can get her to relax, can't we?"

"Please tell me you're calling to say we should get a takeaway and plate it up so it looks like we made it," Jaehyun says. "Before you deny it, I would like to remind you that tonight is my first day off all week. These twelve hour shifts are killing me and I am not even on nights yet."

"I'll cook," Sangyeon says. It should be a good enough compromise. "You can just make yourself look pretty and make up one of the bedrooms so it looks like we sleep in the same bed."

"Why are you trying to embarrass me? Tell Jacob that we're totally really married, and we're in love, and we definitely always sleep in the same bed."

Sangyeon smiles. This feels like being forgiven. "Sorry," he says. "You're right, we sleep in the same bed and you sing me to sleep every night. How could I forget? I'll see you later."

Jaehyun’s departing words are mostly lost in his insistence on getting a dog, but Sangyeon still laughs as he hangs up. He looks up at the computer screen but he can't understand anything flashing up on the monitor. He is thinking of a good way of asking how long is left when Jacob speaks. Something about his voice streaming right into Sangyeon’s ear, right into his head, feels strange now that the conversation with Jaehyun is over. 

"You two are having too much fun on this assignment. It is like you're forgetting that lives and international relations are at stake."

Sangyeon tries not to feel so much like a scolded child. "We're not even the main part of this mission. Is it a crime that we enjoy our jobs?"

"Or do you enjoy your little suburban dream?" Jacob asks. "I assumed you had a few more years of active field work left in you. I thought you liked travelling. You can unplug me in twenty-eight seconds by the way."

"I'm not retiring," Sangyeon insists. "What you have to understand is the house Creker has us living in now is much nicer than my actual home."

Jacob makes a vague noise. Sangyeon unplugs the data drive and leaves the office through the window once more. 

"The murder house rumour is a bit disconcerting though. Who started that?" 

"Who knows," Jacob said, "I think it must be the conclusion some busybody came to and started spreading it around."

Sangyeon supposes that is how life goes in suburbia. He'd rather not live in a fabled murder house even if the crime didn't really happen. 

When the doorbell eventually does ring, Sangyeon’s heart leaps into his throat. He has never hosted a dinner party before and there are so many variables which could go wrong. He has attended dinner parties, both in the conventional sense as a guest and in the less polite way by breaking into a property, but prior experience serves only as a reminder of all the ways in which he might fail.

He should relax. This is all part of a mission and he is probably supposed to be the type to invite people over for dinner all the time. One deep breath. Sangyeon opens the door. 

Haseul is smiling radiantly as she leans against her wife. She offers Sangyeon a bottle of red wine before stepping over the threshold. Thanking her for coming and telling her that she looks wonderful are incredibly easy tasks. Haseul and her wife are both dressed casually, the comfort of soft jumpers which even lowers Sangyeon’s expectation of calamity. 

"Thank you so much for coming," Sangyeon says. "You must be—" 

"Ha Sooyoung?" 

" You live here?"

Sangyeon hadn't even heard Jaehyun approach, but he's there, a hand at the small of Sangyeon’s back, a warning as he stares at the woman standing beside Haseul. The thing is, the case file and Haseul herself were both clear about the fact that she is with someone called Jungeun. 

Haseul glances up at the woman beside her, the woman who is apparently not Jungeun, and smiles at Sangyeon and Jaehyun. 

"Do you already know Sooyoung? Jungeun couldn't make it so my friend Sooyoung decided to come with me instead."

"Oh, that's nice. It is nice to meet you, Sooyoung," Sangyeon says. 

Something is already wrong and after leading the guests into the lounge he half expects Jaehyun to enter the room with a gun rather than the drinks Haseul and Sooyoung had asked for. 

"How does everyone know each other?" Sangyeon asks as breezily as he can from the small sofa. Jaehyun is too close beside him. He shifts away but doesn't dare to shift again when Jaehyun follows to remain pressed against his side. 

"Sooyoung is a very good friend of mine," Haseul says. "We've known each other forever. After Jungeun had to go out of town, Sooyoung was kind enough to come with me at short notice."

"That's nice. Jungeun had to leave since this morning?" 

"That's right," Haseul nods. She pats Sooyoung's knee firmly. "I am sure the story between Sooyoung and your Jaehyun is far more interesting."

Sangyeon smiles. "Yes, I'd also like to hear about this." 

Jaehyun licks his lips, hesitant. "Sooyoung and I went to university together."

"Is that it?" 

"It isn't an interesting story," Sooyoung says. "We just know each other the normal way. You know each other from work, we know each other from university. All very boring. The most interesting thing was Jaehyun bragging to everyone that he had been offered work as a spy a month before graduation."

"A spy?" Sangyeon repeats. "That is such a strange thing to say."

"Wouldn't you say someone working in security services is similar to a spy?" Jaehyun asks. He tries to laugh and Haseul does him the courtesy of joining in. Sangyeon does not laugh. 

"It's not the same," Sooyoung says. "You're not like mission impossible, or even a bodyguard for a celebrity. You're just like a doorman, right?" 

Jaehyun laughs awkwardly. He isn't very good at this. But the way Sooyoung steered the conversation makes it difficult to press too hard without being suspicious. Sangyeon keeps up and does his best to pretend that there is nothing alarming about this situation. At best there is only one enemy inside the house. At worst there are three. 

The timing of the cooker alarm from the kitchen is perfect for Sangyeon to excuse himself. He is impressed that he doesn't even need to ask that Jaehyun follows with his own excuse about topping up drinks. 

Sangyeon gives himself a minute whilst Jaehyun is delving into the fridge. He takes stock of the situation. From the cooker he can reach seven different knives from the block on the counter, there are spices on the rack which he could try to throw in Jaehyun's eyes as a distraction, he could use one of the chopping boards as a discus, he could improvise something from the potato peeler or the grater or the julienne slicer in his periphery, he could otherwise just throw any of the pots and pans simmering from the hobs. 

When Jaehyun softly says, "Sangyeon, can we talk?" Sangyeon decides to keep things simple. The pistol he had stashed in the oven glove will have to do. 

Jaehyun sighs. "Don't you think that is a bit of an overreaction?" 

Sangyeon keeps lining up his sight, aiming steadily at Jaehyun, though he'd struggle to miss at this range. He hasn't missed from this close before. "No," he says, "I do not think I am overreacting."

"Listen, Sooyoung really is just a friend from uni. We didn't date or anything. We kissed once as a dare but that was it, I swear." 

"What?" 

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun asks. He holds his hands up as though that would give him any more time before a bullet is discharged. 

"Why are you telling me that? Sooyoung could be your actual wife for all I care. What I want to know is why this mission has been compromised and we're only two weeks in."

Jaehyun looks thoughtful for a moment. "Do you think she knows we're spies?" 

"Apparently everyone you went to university with knows you're a spy, Jaehyun, so I wouldn't say that is a question that warrants a response." Jaehyun just starts smiling, only slightly embarrassed. Sangyeon sighs, he says, "Do you at least know why your friend is here instead of Kim Jungeun?" 

"I don't, but that's really weird, right? Can you put your gun away or at least put the safety on? I have some thoughts to share."

"Can't you just tell me now?" 

Jaehyun's expression falters but he doesn't dwell on that for longer than a second. He approaches more hastily than Sangyeon would advise but Sangyeon can't shoot. And Jaehyun's hand wraps around Sangyeon’s on the pistol. 

"I can still stab you," Sangyeon points out. "There is a lot that I can use in the kitchen."

"Maybe don't stab me," Jaehyun suggests quietly, "Not when someone is snooping around."

Jaehyun's hands are gentle as he holds Sangyeon and he drops a tentative peck on Sangyeon's lips. As questions go, one silently requesting trust like this is difficult to navigate. Jaehyun could push Sangyeon’s head down, burn his face on the induction hobs and the scalding pots patiently waiting to be put to use. But he doesn't. He hesitates but Sangyeon doesn't counter any of the possibilities, pretends to expect the more certain kiss just as the kitchen door opens. 

"Sorry, I hope I am not interrupting anything," Haseul says cheerily. She is obviously interrupting something but Sangyeon supposes it is lucky Jaehyun was around to disguise their stand-off.

"No, it's fine," Sangyeon says. His voice sounds too thin to his own ears but he needs to be more concerned with stretching to stash his pistol out of sight without Haseul noticing. 

"Do you need help with anything?" Haseul asks. 

"Do I need help with kissing my husband?" Jaehyun asks. "I think I can manage that just fine on my own."

Haseul laughs. "Why do you keep thinking I am trying to steal your husband. I'll get offended if that is really what you think of me."

Jaehyun doesn't laugh, but he does move away from Sangyeon when Haseul takes another step into the kitchen. 

"Sooyoung changed her mind," Haseul explains, "she doesn't want wine anymore. She said something about headaches."

"She just now remembered that wine gives her headaches?" Sangyeon asks. He pushes Jaehyun further away gently and tries to look like he could be a good host. 

"That must be it," Haseul agrees. "Do you have anything that might suit her more?" 

"How about water?" Jaehyun suggests through gritted teeth. 

"Is that all you have? Nothing more fun?" 

"We have juice or lemonade for soft drinks. If not red wine I think we have rosé and maybe we have a bottle or two of cider knocking around," Sangyeon lists. 

"You don't have any beer?" Haseul asks with her eyebrows raised. "I was also hoping for beer after I had enough wine to be polite."

Sangyeon could laugh if the situation was different. As things are he doesn't know if he is capable of that anymore. Jaehyun might claim ignorance but the fact he knows the mysterious Sooyoung is strange enough. Haseul seems strange too but Sangyeon can't tell whether he is suspicious of nothing at all. 

Jaehyun takes cider out for Haseul and Sooyoung, a couple of bottles that had been an impulse decision at the supermarket last week, and Sangyeon is alone in the kitchen. There isn't anything that Sangyeon really needs to do in the kitchen besides calm the spiking of anticipation. He is sure there is more to the evening than he can see but he won't get a clear answer from anyone. 

Sangyeon doesn't have anything on him now but he is sure Creker would have placed some communication equipment around the house just the same way Sangyeon had hidden weapons. Even if he can't trust the people inside this house he can trust the agency to look into suspicious people. 

Unfortunately for Sangyeon, the first place he chooses to look is the cupboard with the door which clatters off its hinges and onto the floor loudly. He might have given Creker too much credit. 

"Are you alright?" Jaehyun asks, bursting into the kitchen. 

Sangyeon peers over his shoulder. It isn't going to make a difference. He isn't having any luck fixing the cupboard whilst looking. 

"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be entertaining our guests? Or plotting to kill me?" 

"I was worried," Jaehyun says. He crouches beside Sangyeon. "Do you want me to plot to kill you? I wouldn't want to do that. I was just getting used to being an honest man. Now you're supposed to laugh because I am making a joke about us being married."

"I am not going to laugh," Sangyeon says. 

"Just leave the cupboard door on the floor. We can fix it some other time. Can't we just do what we do best?" Jaehyun asks. "We can be bad at our jobs and get drunk with a couple of scary lesbians. Just like old times."

Sangyeon can't help but laugh at that. "What old times do you keep referring to?" 

"There's the beautiful yet dumb man I married," Jaehyun says as he nudges Sangyeon’s arm. "Now let's go out there and feed our guests and then get too drunk together and kiss too much so they leave thinking we couldn't possibly be spies."

Sangyeon sighs. "How much kissing is too much?" 

Jaehyun ponders the question. So Sangyeon can safely assume that the amount of kissing is more than anyone would consider polite. Sangyeon stands up and grabs two bottles of wine out of the fridge. They're screwcaps rather than corked because he and Jaehyun aren't as classy as they should be. Sangyeon opens the first one and takes a swig right from the bottlemouth. 

"Let's set the table and then go and be disgustingly in love."

Jaehyun's eyes widen but he doesn't waste any time in grabbing Sangyeon’s hand and following orders to plate up the meal and set side dishes on the table so that it looks as fancy as possible. 

Whether or not Sangyeon and Jaehyun are suspected of being spies, Sangyeon privately isn't too impressed with the guests inspecting the bookcase and murmuring between themselves. 

"Crisis averted, ladies," Jaehyun announces. Haseul flinches hard enough that she almost drops her drink. Sooyoung doesn't look impressed but she remains composed in the face of Jaehyun’s enthusiastic wine-bottle waving. "The man of the hour, my wonderful husband, and the love of my life, has cooked something that will tantalise your tastebuds. You are going to hate me for the rest of your lives when you realise that he's mine forever."

Sangyeon doesn't sigh too loudly. He should have realised just how much Jaehyun would commit to this. He doesn't want to look like he doesn't appreciate the wonderful praise. 

"Baby, you're going to make me blush," Sangyeon says as he pulls Jaehyun close and kisses him the way he would if he was drunk enough that he could hope nobody could remember. But Sangyeon is certainly going to remember the way Jaehyun wraps his arms around him and smiles terribly fondly as they part. 

"See, I was right," Sooyoung says, "The books are for show."

Haseul, unsurprisingly doesn't share anything about herself. Her parents are rich, met each other at work, but Haseul wanted to go into a different career path because she didn't want to get too bogged down in science. And that is all Sangyeon can find out. 

Part of Sangyeon thinks she knows that her new neighbours who live across the street have been sent to investigate her. Whether it is true or not, her reaction to the possibility is suspicious. Her parents, who had been consulting with Creker to discover more about the poison used in the recent attacks, have disappeared yet any mention of them is redirected so effortlessly that Sangyeon and Jaehyun had to struggle through their own fictionalised lives to respond in kind. 

"Your questions make me feel like I am not filial enough, Haseul grins after the particularly obvious question of how often she speaks to her parents." 

She makes jokes with Sooyoung before changing the subject entirely and Sangyeon just watches grimly as Haseul's plastic smile gains another layer to its sheen. 

Jaehyun had the worse task, of course. Jaehyun's story doesn't stand to the surprised eyebrow raises from Sooyoung. However well she knew Jaehyun before, it was enough to dispute claims that Jaehyun had generous parents who paid the house deposit up-front. 

"Is that what happened?" Sooyoung had asked innocuously as she sipped cider. She might not have even meant much by it but that was enough to sow doubt in Haseul's face. Not that she had been forthcoming prior to that. 

The dinner party was certainly a failure but Sangyeon pretended to get drunker and drunker to excuse his increasingly prying questions. All that rewarded him with was the knowledge that Haseul went on holidays at the seaside as a child. And that was it. 

Sangyeon might not have been exaggerating his drunkeness very much. Once the guests are gone Sangyeon slumps into the sofa and complains about the evening to Jaehyun. 

"It's alright," Jaehyun said as he patted Sangyeon on the head. But Sangyeon must have dozed off at some point because Jaehyun isn't sitting beside him when he remembers how unfair it is that Haseul asked about the recipe but gave no information in response. 

The living room curtains are closed and the lights are dim so that they wouldn't disturb Sangyeon. Even with consideration like that, Sangyeon goes in search of Jaehyun to complain about the next point he thought of. 

Jaehyun is humming cheerily to himself as he washes up the pots and pans in the sink. The kitchen curtains are open and the lights from the house make the pool in the back garden glisten in the dark. Not that Jaehyun is looking. He is so preoccupied with his task that he hasn't even caught Sangyeon reflected behind him in the dark window. He probably doesn't care for Sangyeon’s complaints about Haseul. 

Sangyeon’s footsteps are featherlight as he walks into the kitchen and wraps himself around Jaehyun, one hand pressing a blade against Jaehyun's neck. It isn't too much of a reaction but Jaehyun finally stops humming. He lifts his gaze to the two of them reflected in the window and he sighs. 

"Why didn't you do it?" 

Sangyeon adjusts his grip on the knife handle, watching how the sharpened edge leaves a ghost of its presence on Jaehyun's skin. The retort is easy. "Why didn't you try to stop me?" 

"I didn't think this would be how you would choose to kill me. And if I was wrong then I deserved to die."

Sangyeon grins and drops the knife onto the counter. He hooks his chin over Jaehyun's shoulder and watches the reflection as Jaehyun relaxes back into his hold. His hands are damp and sudsy as he holds onto Sangyeon’s arms. Almost comfortable. "You're cute," Sangyeon tells him. "What should I tell Creker when I report you for being a double agent?" 

"Is that what gave me away? Being cute? Not even being devilishly handsome?" 

"No. The way you're pretending to roll over and let me do anything to you is cute. You could almost make me drop my guard."

"I need to try to be cuter then," Jaehyun says thoughtfully. He sways in Sangyeon’s arms, almost like dancing. The rhythm of this is different to the tune he was humming before. "But I wouldn't let you do just anything to me. We've known each other long enough that I deserve to know how you'd do it. How you'd kill me."

"Don't you like the thought of me slicing your jugular?"

Jaehyun shakes his head. "Too messy."

"It is less messy than stabbing you or shooting you. I wouldn't want to poison you either. That could be very messy if it is too weak, otherwise it would just be dissatisfactory. I know you wouldn't let me choke you, and when it comes to you I don't like the thought of beating you or bludgeoning you. Maybe I could chain you up, legs to one of the wall anchors in the garage and arms chained into the car. Tear you apart."

Jaehyun laughs, dips his head and he grips into Sangyeon’s arms tighter. "If you look past our reflections you can see the pool. Why would you think of ripping me in half before drowning me?" 

Sangyeon isn't fond of drowning. Oddly it is more of a strain than other methods of asphyxiation. The water already feels like a trap but watching someone struggle against the dense cold pressing into them leaves too many marks in the memory. Sangyeon would rather not remember Jaehyun like that. They have known each other for a long while. Long enough to have done dozens of missions together. Long enough to know Jaehyun is a stronger swimmer than him anyway. But Jaehyun bringing it up is interesting. 

"Is that how you'd do me?" Sangyeon asks as disinterested as he can. "You'd drown me?" 

"No." Jaehyun says evenly. He's good at this part, the deception and lulling people into a false sense of security. Sangyeon was quite enjoying having Jaehyun docile and calm in his arms. There is hardly any force at all required to overbalance Sangyeon and turn in time to catch him and carefully lower him to the ground. Jaehyun cradles the back of Sangyeon’s skull with his hand and once there is no further to go, his fingers slip away through Sangyeon’s hair and sap away the residual warmth of the touch as they go. 

The kitchen tiles are hard, cold, and lying on top of them is reminiscent of a coroner's slab. Jaehyun has Sangyeon pinned to the ground, dead, trapped. 

"I have a better idea of how I'd want to kill you," Jaehyun says in a low voice. 

Sangyeon could resent himself for the way his breath stutters and his spine goes rigid at the velvet whisper of Jaehyun’s voice. But he still has the excuse of inebriation. Not a good enough excuse to explain being overwhelmed but good enough to deny the thoughts which surge in his mind. 

"How would you do it?" 

Jaehyun leans in closer, still undeniably in control as he holds Sangyeon steady. His voice drips sucrose sweet into Sangyeon’s ear as he says, "I'd do it slowly. I would take my time to enjoy it. I'd share every moment I could with you, and I would kiss you every morning, and fall asleep to the sound of your breathing at night, and I would look after you when you are sick and you could do the same for me, and I would celebrate all the milestones in your life as well as celebrating each day simply for the fact we'd be alive together. And one day you'll realise that a lifetime has elapsed. And when you're old and you have seen enough of the world you'll close your eyes and think of all the time we had together and you'll never wake up again."

Sangyeon can't breathe. This is different to the obstruction of a weight on his chest. This feels like drowning but it isn't water flooding into Sangyeon’s mouth as he gapes uselessly for air. The air itself is saturated with Jaehyun and his words. 

Jaehyun doesn't play fair. He must know that he is stronger than Sangyeon here too. 

Jaehyun sits up, loosens his hold on Sangyeon and curls his hands into loose fists on Sangyeon’s sternum. Without the pressure of compressions this is a moment to save Sangyeon’s life. Jaehyun looks pleased as he stares down at Sangyeon. He wins because Sangyeon is incapable of returning this joke. 

"It's awful, isn't it?" Jaehyun asks. 

Sangyeon nods quickly. "How did you think of that?" 

"I don't know," Jaehyun says flippantly. "I just started thinking. It might be nice to try it."

"So you haven't tested this out on anyone else?" Sangyeon asks, hoping he sounds like he isn't at all bothered by Jaehyun's suggestion. 

"No. I'd only like to do it to you. My first and last."

The words themselves are too exposed and there is something hesitant in Jaehyun's expression that makes Sangyeon reluctant to tell him that he shouldn't want anything like that. This is pretend. Everything about them is pretend and pinned to the kitchen floor. Sangyeon can understand that with no issues at all. 

It was silly of Sangyeon to have already been swept along in this routine of domesticity. He likes Jaehyun enough to remember that he shouldn't. 

"I'm not working for anyone else," Jaehyun eventually says. He climbs to his feet and extends his hand to Sangyeon. "Do you trust me?" 

Sangyeon hesitates. Maybe he does. Maybe he shouldn't. He can stand up on his own but the offer is another of the questions Jaehyun won't ask aloud. This is not just a question of now. 

The time ahead of Sangyeon with Jaehyun is undetermined. There will be plenty of opportunities for doubt or betrayal. 

Sangyeon takes Jaehyun's hand and pulls himself up on the bare warmth of the contact. Jaehyun smiles, cautiously small, and squeezes Sangyeon’s hand tightly. Sangyeon will just have to take the chance that he could be let down. 

Chapter Text

Jaehyun apparently doesn't want to sleep. He has work tonight but told Sangyeon it would be nice just to spend the day together on a rare weekend off. 

Weekends together aren't that rare. Jaehyun has the entirety of Sunday off but he has disregarded that to insist on spending the day helping out with chores. 

"You're so annoying," Sangyeon says as he sprays down the shower tiles with the bathroom cleaner. 

"Isn't this just like old times?" Jaehyun asks as he empties the medicine cabinet. "You and me, hanging out, cleaning up before we have to call in the actual clean up teams to do things properly for us." 

"When exactly did these old times take place?" Sangyeon asks. 

"I'm not sure exactly when," Jaehyun says. "Do you remember Macau?" 

Sangyeon does remember Macau. This is nothing like Macau. There have been a fair few trips to Macau, though Sangyeon was only sent with Jaehyun twice. He hasn't been to Macau (or anywhere abroad) since the mission that went wrong last year. He was sent as support for an agent who was good enough to be headhunted by Creker. By complete accident, or perhaps negligence, Sangyeon made it look as though the agency were acting on a burn notice. It was a mistake. That was Sangyeon’s most recent memory of Macau. 

Setting aside the stronger recollections, Sangyeon checks the back of the bleach bottle for the recommended time for the formulation to work. He has five to fifteen minutes to kill before he needs to wipe over the tiles. 

"We weren't married in Macau," he says. Jaehyun smiles over his shoulder and takes a seat astride the edge of the bathtub beside Sangyeon. 

"It's where we fell in love," Jaehyun offers brightly. The words he speaks ring too true and Sangyeon wonders just how easily he can convince anyone of any deceit. "At least that is what I decided at our dinner party." 

"I don't remember you bringing it up. " 

"You'd fallen asleep by then," Jaehyun says breezily. "I decided we met at the textile factory—" 

"At Daesung—? Why would you mention that? How are you one of Creker's best agents if you keep telling everyone that you're a spy and you talk about your missions?" 

Jaehyun sighs heavily and drops the weight of his hand on Sangyeon’s shoulder and shakes firmly enough that it is a struggle to remain balanced on the edge of the bathtub. "My beautiful, foolish husband. Of course I'm not telling people about the missions. But, you know, the best lies are rooted in truth. Macau was one of our first missions together. Except in my version we both just happened to meet each other whilst holidaying in gay Macau and we met on a tour of the Goa Coast textile factory and because we had both voluntarily paid to go on such a boring tour we knew we were soulmates."

"Goa is in India." 

"Goa Coast is something I made up. Did you know that the company was set up by a man who emigrated to Macau with his family with a small dream to make enough money that his wife could set up her company designing clothes inspired by all the things she loved."

Jaehyun loves playing pretend like this. The dreamlike tone as he threads his little lies together makes that obvious but there are gaps Sangyeon can see that other people must be able to. 

"What were the names of the people who owned the factory?" 

Jaehyun hesitates and licks the dry pink if his lips. He's caught on. "We went on the tour years ago. How would I remember their names?" 

"You'd remember, Jaehyun. You always remember." 

"It was the day I met you though," Jaehyun says quietly. He lifts his gaze and keeps his eyes steady whilst reaching his hand lower than Sangyeon’s shoulder to rest on his knee. "There were other things I was more keen to learn. Other things I paid attention to. I wanted to learn the sound of your voice when you couldn't quite keep humour out of your words. I wanted to learn how I could make you giggle. I wanted to learn what made you into the man you were on the day that we met. I wanted to learn how to make you mine."

Sangyeon sighs. He's lost. "Alright. If that's your story it is a pretty good one."

"Thank you," Jaehyun grins. "I mentioned our second trip too. The boats, remember?" 

Whereas the first trip with Jaehyun to Macau was to infiltrate a false textile factory as investors, the second was far less relaxed. Jaehyun wasn't even meant to be in Macau officially. Things had started to go wrong and Jaehyun had appeared like a bolt of hope sent directly from heaven whilst Sangyeon was hopping across gondolas to escape from dangerous men who noticed they were being tailed. 

"I just happened to be in the area," Jaehyun had said with a shrug after strapping down Sangyeon’s panic at being caught in a tight grip before he could make the jump to the next gondola. He hadn't been sent by Creker. He was just there, or so he claimed. Sangyeon hadn't taken that fact for granted. He was glad of an ally in spite of the fact Jaehyun wasn't armed or briefed and could have been more of a burden than assistance. 

"I remember the boats," Sangyeon confirms. "How did you spin that one?" 

"We fell out of contact when I had to move away for work. I couldn't stop chasing that coin and you were committed to teaching your kids and you weren't going to move with a guy you'd only known for a few months. But a year later we were both in Macau again, two passing boats on canals in the Venetian hotel. And you even fell into the water whilst trying to get my attention and tell me something. And from then I knew I couldn't let you go again. "

"Thank you for making me sound so earnest," Sangyeon laughs. He really had fallen into the clear canal whilst being chased though he'd rather remember Jaehyun's fictionalised version of events. He would like to be the romantic type. "Haseul and your friend Sooyoung must think we're disgustingly in love. We might be overdoing it a bit." 

"No way. We are disgustingly in love. We make people lose their lunches on a daily basis." 

Oddly, after using some elbow grease and cleaning up the bathroom, the remainder of the day passes with them bringing up the past over shared chores. 

Whilst sorting laundry, Jaehyun tries to mention the Nepalese mountains, though Sangyeon would rather not reminisce over the Himalayas when all the other memories are easier to spin into fonder weaves. Jaehyun apparently has the missions he doesn't want to talk about too and suddenly realises he should get some sleep as Sangyeon reminds him of the time he was almost scouted in Paris. 

"Go to bed," Sangyeon agrees. "I'll finish up here and make you something to eat before your shift tonight." 

Jaehyun frowns at Sangyeon through the window and nearly knocks him out as he throws the pane open so that the sudsy glass is no longer between them. 

"I won't be able to sleep well without you there." 

"That doesn't even make sense. We sleep separately anyway. Are you saying you never sleep?" 

Jaehyun wrinkles his chin as he reaches through the window. "It's different in the daytime. Come and nap with me so I am rested for work. You can worry about food later." 

"Alright," Sangyeon says. He can compromise. "Go on upstairs. I'll finish here and come up when I'm done." 

Though Sangyeon expects some amount of pushback, Jaehyun is happy enough with that and slips away to go upstairs. Once alone it seems strange that Sangyeon has allowed himself to fall for this lie. 

A life like this would be nice. Deciding to be nice and finish up cleaning the windows on his own would just be a little way to show he cared when his husband so obviously needed rest. There would be so many little tasks Sangyeon could take on just to make life a bit easier for the person who shared a lifetime with him. Cleaning windows would be one. Sangyeon could do all the chores alone if he thought it would help. 

Removing Jaehyun from the equation, Sangyeon is well aware that he won't get a lifetime with anyone. He is more likely to die in service than reach retirement age and he doubts he would easily find someone near the end of his life who wouldn't mind all the redacted passages in his past. Someone like Jaehyun wouldn't raise issues such as that, though someone like Jaehyun is as much of a pipe-dream as anyone else. 

Sangyeon does love him. Jaehyun is a friend as well as a colleague. Relying on him is easy despite not having too many other people to share burdens. At Creker they are supposed to trust the organisation and all of the other agents and handlers and researchers implicitly. Sangyeon has people he considers friends amongst his coworkers however Jaehyun is a step beyond that. 

At home, Sangyeon is aware that he doesn't have any actual privacy to speak of. There are always ways for Creker to keep watch of him. Here, he can relax into stupid little routines easily enough that he could forget. He tries his hardest to remember that Creker must be able to see him as he finishes up the window and packs away the sponges and newspaper to go to Jaehyun's bedroom. 

"You're not sleeping," Sangyeon says as Jaehyun slides his phone under his pillow. 

"I told you I wouldn't be able to sleep well," Jaehyun reasons, reclining on the covers and beckoning Sangyeon over. "Come on, baby, let's go to sleep." 

"A little nap," Sangyeon says firmly. "I'm going to set an alarm so I can wake up and make you something to eat." 

"Sure, sure, just get into bed with me, baby." 

Sangyeon obliges and clambers onto the mattress and lies on his side facing Jaehyun. Seeing his smile so close, Sangyeon is a little afraid to close his eyes. 

"You know what, I'll face the other way," Sangyeon says. 

"We can spoon?" 

"Or I will face this way." 

"So you can gaze into my eyes all night?" 

Sangyeon laughs. "You have to go to work. It can't be all night." 

Jaehyun sighs, almost like he is really giving up, and closes his eyes. He reaches his hand out and strokes over the side of Sangyeon’s face. The warmth of his palm is heavy and Sangyeon almost doubts it could be possible to get any rest like this. 

"You should have slept earlier." 

Jaehyun's eyes flutter open, a carved vision of perfection breathing into the air between them. "I'm never going to get to sleep if you keep talking to me. Let's kiss to make me tired enough to fall asleep." 

"Kissing won't make me tired though. It would just wake me up." 

"Best not then," Jaehyun says as he closes his eyes. It isn't the worst thing in the world to be lying with Jaehyun like this. After denying the kiss, Sangyeon doesn't think it really would hurt. He leans in for a quick peck on the cheek and he is surprised that Jaehyun opens his eyes again to stare at Sangyeon. 

"What?" Sangyeon asks. 

"Nothing. Actually, can we revisit the spooning idea? I would like to be the little spoon though." 

That is fine. Sangyeon nods and watches Jaehyun roll to face the other way before pulling him in and holds him closer. Spooning is fine, nothing out of the ordinary. It is comfortable. Though they can't always be so close, allowing themselves this moment is fine. 

Quietly, Jaehyun asks, "Do you remember Yeouido?" 

Considering Yeouido is very much within the regularities of Seoul, Sangyeon imagines they have both been there many times for missions. He isn't lying when he yawns, "I don't remember. Tell me about Yeouido." 

A soft nudge and the call of his name is what rouses Sangyeon. He fell asleep. He couldn't imagine he would yet he had. He sits up slowly, groggily and looks around the afternoon light of the bedroom. Jaehyun is leaning over him, fully-dressed. 

"What time is it?" 

"A little after six. Could you drop me off at work tonight?" 

"Of course," Sangyeon says, uncertainly. He is too tired. He wants to keep sleeping. He wants to hold Jaehyun against his chest and sleep. But his husband needs to go out to work. That is his duty right now. They are happy yet responsibilities like that can still crop up. 

In the car, driving to the civic offices, Sangyeon still feels too tired. He wants to be back in bed. Jaehyun was right about not having enough time together. It isn't enough. Outside of all the work they have to do (all the work they have to wait around for other people to do), they don't have enough time together to do nothing. They don't have enough time together to enjoy this life that isn't theirs yet Sangyeon is completely guilty of believing this is all his.

Sangyeon believes that this is his car in which he is driving his husband to work and then he will drive his car home without his husband chattering about the meals they should be cooking in their kitchen. He believes it all. Whether Jaehyun is a double-agent or not, Sangyeon won't mind that he has been made into a fool like this. 

"I'm sorry for not waking up in time to make you something to eat." 

"That's alright. I had some leftovers." 

"Have a good night at work," Sangyeon says as the car idles in the no-parking zone on the street. Jaehyun sighs loudly and casts his gaze aside at Sangyeon. He doesn't get out of the car. For a moment Sangyeon wonders whether he could ask his fake-husband to stay at home. To come back and call in sick. 

"I promise I won't." 

Sangyeon laughs, forehead knocking against the steering wheel. He glances up at Jaehyun. "No. Make sure that you do have a good shift. I am not leaving until I hear that you'll have a good night." 

"If that's the case I might not get out of the car. I'll have to spend all night sitting here with you." 

Sangyeon glances through the windscreen. "Anything over fifteen minutes counts as parking. I am not sure we can afford a parking fine between us." 

"I don't want you to go," Jaehyun whines. 

"Just go. You can have a good time with Juyeon. It will be just like old times. You love those, don't you?" 

"You're using this against me," Jaehyun grumbles. "Fine. I'll go. When you come back to get me in the morning you had better be prepared to dry up my tears." 

"Of course," Sangyeon agrees. 

"And you'll be thinking of me all night?" 

"If that's what you want," Sangyeon says solemnly. 

Jaehyun does eventually get out of the car and head into work. As promised, Sangyeon does think of Jaehyun overnight. To stop that, he tries to reach out to a friend. 

"What reason do you have to contact me," Chaekyung asks without so much as a hello after picking up the phone. 

"I just wanted to talk to someone normal." 

"Is that a compliment?" Chaekyung asks. "What did you want to talk about?" 

"I just want to know what is up with you," Sangyeon says. He wonders whether he sounds convincing, whether this is enough. It isn't. Chaekyung is vague and doesn't offer much at all. That is normal, Sangyeon supposes. That is the way things go in their line of work. 

When Sangyeon arrives in the no-parking zone to pick up Jaehyun in the morning he is early. He waits longer than fifteen minutes. He doesn't bother watching out for traffic wardens. He'll take a fine and pay it himself rather than Creker. 

A fine isn't what Sangyeon needs to worry about. Jaehyun jogs over to the car and practically falls into the passenger seat. He wraps his arms around Sangyeon and buries his face in Sangyeon’s neck. 

"Was it that bad?" Sangyeon asks, patting Jaehyun's back. 

"It was awful. Atrocious. I can't go back." 

"You absolutely can go back, and you will," Sangyeon says. 

Jaehyun leans up and glares at Sangyeon. "You're not supposed to say that. You're supposed to tell me that you would earn all the money for us and you'll look after me. And then I am supposed to refuse and tell you that I can do anything for you and I will go back to my stupid job for the rest of my life until we retire and spend our days in Laos."

"My mistake," Sangyeon says. "Let's go home and I can make it up to you." 

"What does that mean?" 

"It means I will be extra nice to you. Tell me about work on the way home and then you can shower and go to bed—" 

"Will you sleep with me?" 

"What do you think I was doing all night, Jaehyun? I can't sleep now. You just go to sleep on your own and I will make you whatever you want to make up for the fact I didn't do it last night." 

Jaehyun grumbles a bit before he starts complaining about one of the aides who follows a police commissioner around. Sangyeon only lends half an ear because he knows he will hear this all again over and over. The aide keeps referring to Jaehyun as pretty boy, likely without meaning it judging by the words which usually follow. 

Normally, people like Jaehyun. He is handsome and polite and kind and he is easy to fall for. Sangyeon has even told Jaehyun that he is too much of a charmer, to which the response has always been, 'I'm not a charmer, I'm just nice,' though that is clearly where they disagree. Whether he can admit it or not, Jaehyun is a charmer. He isn't used to being disliked. It makes sense. Sangyeon doesn't mind hearing about how awful it is for one person not to have immediately fallen in love with Jaehyun this time or any of the subsequent times that are sure to follow. 

As planned, when they arrive home Jaehyun showers and trudges to bed. Sangyeon works out for a while, wonders vaguely whether his class's play will turn out well in just a month, starts a load of laundry, does the marking he was meant to do yesterday, and decides to order takeout, knowing that he couldn't cook anything good enough to make up for a bad night's work. 

Unsurprisingly, Jaehyun can tell that Sangyeon didn't cook when he appears from his room earlier than expected. His hair is curling messily and he has changed into the stiffly clean clothes Sangyeon had fetched for him earlier . 

Rather than eating right away he drapes himself over Sangyeon and clings far too comfortably. He is a massive nuisance whilst Sangyeon is trying to reheat the yukgaejang on the hob. "I think I'll keep you." 

"Does that mean you were thinking of getting rid of me?" Sangyeon asks as he reaches for the bag of lukewarm mandu. 

"Of course I was. A good husband should listen more closely when I am talking about that weird secretary Jang." 

"Who?" 

Jaehyun pinches Sangyeon’s side rather than answering the question. He sinks more heavily into Sangyeon and sways. "A good husband makes me feel special even on a day like today, so you're not a total lost cause. I'll keep you." 

That answers absolutely nothing, however Sangyeon is happy enough to hear this.

As predicted, Jaehyun spends lunchtime complaining about his petty nemesis secretary Jang and then he very sweetly asks whether they can get a dog to help him to recover from his emotional trauma. 

"We're not getting a dog," Sangyeon sighs. "Do you know how long they last?" 

"A lifetime," Jaehyun says sagely. 

"That's not right." 

"Well I will love our pet dog for a lifetime. How can you think of depriving me of that experience?"

"Jaehyun, we don't have a lifetime," Sangyeon says, suddenly feeling tired. Jaehyun smiles as he watches Sangyeon reach for the japchae. He had laughed about Sangyeon ordering side dishes which were essentially the same as the main dish for lunch though he doesn't look as though he will bring it up again. They're stuck on the subject of dogs. "This mission will probably be over in a couple of months. What are we supposed to do with a dog after that?" 

"It might last longer," Jaehyun says. "Jacob's last mission before he got promoted to oversee internal operations was a long one. He was deployed for a few years abroad. We don't know how long our assignment will last. We might be here for a few years. It might feel like a lifetime." 

The length of the mission hadn't been anything which Sangyeon had considered too deeply. He might be taking for granted the fact that Creker would want to keep him out of the way indefinitely. He hadn't spared any thought for exactly how long it would be possible to give him busywork like the mission he is currently on. Perhaps Jaehyun is right. The two of them could be here for a long time. 

The possibility of Jaehyun being detained on this assignment for years doesn't make total sense. Jaehyun is certainly better than being rendered a babysitter. No matter how catastrophically bad Sangyeon has messed up, having an agent of Jaehyun’s calibre within Creker would be a waste of resources. Worse still if Sangyeon somehow finds a way to repeat mistakes and get him killed too. 

The most logical conclusion Sangyeon can come to, if this mission is at risk of extending indefinitely, is that at some point Creker will pull Jaehyun out alone. He will be needed for more important assignments which require his skill set and an extraction will leave Sangyeon all alone once more. 

"I don't think you'll be stuck here with me for years," Sangyeon offers. "It would be a shame to get a dog together and then before you know it, you'll be back in the field. You'd probably be too busy to even visit and I'm not sure I would be up to looking after a dog on my own." 

"Do you think I'd leave you?" Jaehyun asks carefully. His fingers twitch though it isn't towards anything more alarming than the glass of water beside his wrist. "I wouldn't do something like that to you." 

"You wouldn't have a choice. You have to go wherever Creker tell you to. Even if you really enjoy pretending to have a normal, boring life, it can't last forever." 

"It might," Jaehyun says lightly. He raises his glass with a smile. "No matter how powerful you think they are, Creker can't dictate everything I do." 

Sangyeon refrains from lifting his own glass. "What makes you say that? Have you found a way to escape or do they just like you enough to let you do whatever you like?" 

Jaehyun ponders the question for a moment. "Maybe they do like me. I asked to be here and they let me take this assignment." 

Right now, Sangyeon can't tell whether this is a hint or idle musing. If Jaehyun had been given this assignment, the information provided would be different to what he would be told if he asked for it. Whilst Sangyeon can only speculate, Jaehyun would know just the right answer. 

"How bad was the warning when they tried to convince you not to take this assignment?" Sangyeon asks, working to keep his tone conversational. Jaehyun does a much better job. 

"What was I supposed to be warned about? I just wanted to try out the weight of a wedding ring. I quite like it. We should definitely keep these after we're done here." 

Sangyeon watches Jaehyun fiddle with the ring around his slender fourth finger. Jaehyun's fingers are graceful and careful in their dexterity. His hands are pretty; made to be watched, yet they are firm and sure. Sangyeon feels the vibration of his own ring as it accepts whatever signals Jaehyun sees fit to send. 

Sangyeon glances at his own hand. His hands are more square, clunky, and oddly small if he compares them to the things he has to hold, small if he thinks of the ring resized to sit comfortably on his hand to link him to Jaehyun. 

He taps his ring, static residue jumping across his body to complete the loop with his right hand. 

"You play with this too much." 

"I just like sending you secret messages. Try to guess what I am saying," Jaehyun suggests. The sting comes again and this time Sangyeon realises that these little patterns of the ring insistently charging through his skin haven't ever been random. 

"Hi?" Sangyeon asks. Jaehyun shakes his head. 

"No. I could just say that to you. I made up a system so we can talk to each other." 

"Like morse code?" Sangyeon asks in the face of Jaehyun’s blooming pride. In an instant Jaehyun's expression sours and he reaches for his spoon. He doesn't bother with contenting himself with food and instead points the utensil at Sangyeon’s face. 

"Do you take me for a boy scout? Anyone can learn morse code. I only have a few things I need to say to you like this: 'I love you', 'I'm thinking of you', 'I miss you', and 'quickly come here, I think I'm dying.'" 

"I'm sensing a theme here," Sangyeon says. 

"It's about time you sense something," Jaehyun says, fiddling once more with the ring. This is different to last time though there is no way of telling which phrase this code corresponds to. "What else could a married couple have to say to one another?" 

"What about two agents? Sangyeon asks, "What might they want to say?" 

"Let's talk?" Jaehyun poses whilst fiddling with his ring. 

The jolts of current through the ring certainly aren't morse code and could only be considered gibberish, however it is a simple enough pattern of pauses and vibrations that Sangyeon can echo the message back to Jaehyun. A surprised smile passes over Jaehyun's face as he settles heavily into the elbows he has resting on the table. 

"Oh. I didn't think you'd actually go for it." 

"Only the codes which sound useful. What's the 'I'm dying' code and how would we know where to find each other?" Sangyeon asks. 

"We'd use our soulmate connection to know where to find each other," Jaehyun reasons, entirely seriously. And then he taps out a barrage of jolts and vibrations violent enough that Sangyeon is sure his finger is about to fall off. 

"You'd better not use this code ever again," Sangyeon warns, "It's like you want me to die." 

"No this is how I would tell you that I am dying," Jaehyun bleats. He tries it again. "Look, see! This is how you know I am really in danger and panicking." 

When Jaehyun finishes his demonstration Sangyeon retaliates, returning the same incessant signal, and Jaehyun all but tries to shake the ring off his finger. 

"Alright. Point noted," Jaehyun grumbles as he squeezes his left arm. "These rings are dangerous. On the next call we should ask Haknyeon why Creker want us to have heart attacks." 

"Good idea," Sangyeon agrees. "They've met you so they must have already known you wouldn't want to use the rings the way they intended." 

Jaehyun laughs and starts to clean up their lunch. The way he carries himself is too comfortable. Too easy. It is impossible to understand whether Jaehyun genuinely doesn't know why Sangyeon has been relegated to an assignment like this. 

It seems almost like a reward, being able to live a mundane little life and playing at being married, though Sangyeon is probably expected to reflect and improve himself so he could beg for the chance to work on exciting missions. Sangyeon doesn't want to return to the thrill and danger of the assignments which draw people into a life of espionage. He likes pretending to be married. 

Perks of being married apparently include learning tips from one of Creker's top agents. The afternoon's tip is how to do the impossible. 

"There's this woman at the Bulgarian embassy next door who you would hate," Jaehyun says as he adjusts the gloves on his hands. "She has shown me a lot of pictures of frogs. I think it might be a hobby of hers or something. I don't know how she is raising frogs when there is nowhere to do it in the embassy. She isn't supposed to leave but I think she is sneaking out to someone else who keeps them."

"That's weird," Sangyeon says.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from any scary frogs if they get loose."

Sangyeon glances up at the ceiling. "Maybe we could do with having some frogs right now. They're good at jumping aren't they?" 

Jaehyun sighs and slaps Sangyeon’s shoulder. "You're not going to die. It is easy. Just jump up there and grip onto the ceiling. And then just stay up there as long as you can."

Sangyeon scoffs. "That is easy for you to say. You're telling me to break the laws of physics."

Jaehyun shrugs. "It's easy. Just wedge yourself up there and stay still." 

It absolutely is not easy. Sangyeon has already fallen from the ceiling once already. He doesn't fancy his chances of getting up and staying up. 

"Can you show me one more time?" Sangyeon asks. 

Jaehyun sighs and hops up the bookcase to stretch his limbs. There is no way he should be able to stay on the ceiling yet there he is, as though it is the easiest thing in the world. 

"I still don't get it," Sangyeon admits. 

"You need to be at an angle," Jaehyun says as he gestures from the ceiling. "One hand and leg on the ceiling, the other hand and foot on the wall. And then tense your entire body and you'll stay up here as long as you want." 

Sangyeon shakes his head. "No. That's not happening." 

"It's so easy that if you can't do it, I'll never ask you for a dog ever again," Jaehyun insists as he reaches to hold his hand out to Sangyeon. Sangyeon shakes his hand. He smiles. "I'm extremely confident that you can do it." 

"You're that sure?" Sangyeon asks. "Seeing as this is the last time you'll ask me, what sort of dog do you want? A retired police dog?" 

"Don't be stupid Sangyeon, I don't have the energy for one of those," Jaehyun scoffs as he hops to the floor. "I want a little baby doggy. A toy breed maybe. And she'll sit on my lap and let me cuddle her for hours, and when we take her on walks she'll get too tired and I would have to carry her home, and she'll be my princess baby angel, and I will end up getting into fights with you because you feed her from the table but you won't cut the food up small enough and I will worry about her choking, and I will argue with you because she disappeared and I will assume you left the door open and she ran away but she will just be hiding behind the chest of drawers in our bedroom."

"Aw," Sangyeon coos. "It almost makes me sad that I'm going to disappoint you. I'm sorry that we're never getting a dog, baby." 

"Get up there, honey. We're getting a dog." 

Sangyeon fails. And he fails. And he fails. However Jaehyun wants a dog, or at least he still wants the option of talking about how much he wants one, so Sangyeon has no choice but to keep trying until he manages to stay put in the part of the room humans have no business being. 

Chapter Text

Haseul waves through the window of Sangyeon’s classroom right before the breaktime bell rings and Sangyeon understands that to be a bad omen. As soon as the bell rings she opens the classroom door and her class children file in to join her singing happy birthday. The song must be some sort of trigger for humanity's innate need to celebrate things because most of Sangyeon’s class join in singing despite their obvious confusion over who they are singing to. Sangyeon has his suspicions but it isn't until the penultimate line of the song that things fall into place. 

"Happy birthday!" Haseul cheers. The children from both classes cheer before Haseul sends the children outside to the playground. Haseul smiles at Sangyeon and crosses her arms. "You're going to need to buy some sweets for the children. Ms Kwon always brings sweets in for her birthday just like the children do."

Sangyeon’s hands are sweating. This is strange. The date Sangyeon memorised to use when filling in forms doesn't exactly register as something he should have absorbed into his character. 

"How do you know it is my birthday?" Sangyeon asks. 

"The ladies in the office have a list of everyone's birthdays," Haseul says easily. She shouldn't be able to say that like it is nothing. There is a list of the children's birthdays on the wall that was pinned up by their old teacher Ms Kwon before she went on maternity leave, and even her own birthday is on the list, but Sangyeon and the other teachers aren't children expecting to be sung to by their peers. Haseul must think that knowing things without being told is normal, so Sangyeon wonders why she bothers to ask, "What are you going to do for your birthday? Do you have any romantic plans?" 

Sangyeon hesitates. He does not have any plans at all. Haseul's face falls and she gasps. 

"Oh no, you don't even have a birthday meal planned? That's not right! Or did you have to forgo making plans because of all the hassle of moving house?" 

"No," Sangyeon says. He doesn't know what to say. He should be better under pressure than this but he only feels himself struggling to string together a word or two. He doubts he will last very long as a spy. 

"Ah!" Haseul says. She pats him on the shoulder. "You are stressed about the sweets, right? You should head down the street. The shop there does a great deal on multipack sweets."

"Thanks for the tip," Sangyeon says. He can manage to get to a shop and back within quarter of an hour. Haseul sends him off with a wave. 

Sangyeon makes sure he has his wallet and he hopes nobody spots him running in the corridors despite the rules against it. 

Sangyeon twists the ring on his finger and waits for the response from Jaehyun's ring. Sangyeon can't remember what this pattern of vibrations and shocks means so he assumes it is a great time for a call. 

"Hey, baby," Jaehyun says, voice saccharine for no reason at all. 

"Hi, honey. It's my birthday."

Sangyeon hears the pause from the other end of the phone line, Jaehyun's footsteps literally stop echoing wherever he is walking. And then he laughs. "No it isn't. You scared me. What's going on?"

"Jaehyun, it's my birthday," Sangyeon says. "Sangyeon the school teacher. It is his birthday today. And our neighbour Haseul was the one to tell me."

"No way," Jaehyun laughs. "How does she know everything about you? That's kind of scary."

It is terrifying, but Sangyeon is glad he isn't the only one who thinks so. He doesn't take too long to find the multipacks of sweets in the back of the shop so he grabs armfuls of them to take to the till. 

"She outed my birthday in front of both of our classes so now I have to buy sweets for sixty children, and then she asked me what my plans for tonight are," Sangyeon huffs. And then the shopkeeper tells him he hasn't bought enough sweets for sixty children so he needs to grab more. 

"Tell her we're going to bang all night, baby," Jaehyun says, then, slightly muffled, "I'm just talking to my husband. It's his birthday. I will pass on your well-wishes." Jaehyun sighs into the phone around the time Sangyeon is paying for the correct amount of sweets. "A very nice lady says happy birthday. What did you tell Haseul that your plans are?" 

"Nothing. I couldn't think of anything to say to her. I think I need to retire. Or have I already retired and being married has turned my brain to mush?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting? Maybe Sangyeon the teacher really wouldn't know what the plans are. Maybe Jaehyun the guy who works in security for twelve hours a day is really good at planning surprises. I think you could just say that you don't know what you are doing. I never tell you until we get there."

Sangyeon is beginning to think the shopkeeper shortchanged him but he doesn't have time or evidence to go back to dispute the transaction. He needs to hurry to school to prepare for the next lesson. 

"Won't Haseul just ask tomorrow?" 

"Probably. But I don't think she is being nosy. I think she is just interested in you. You know, like how friends are?" 

Sangyeon has to admit that Jaehyun has a point. Haseul has been nothing but nice even if Sangyeon has been increasingly suspicious of her. It is still no reason for him to lose all of his skills working with clandestine operations. 

Sangyeon can get through his day and give out sweets to sixty children. He can continuously ask children to repeat their still unpracticed lines for their assembly at the end of the term, and he can assure the children over and over that their parents will be proud when they come to watch the assembly. He is Sangyeon the teacher and this is his life. No amount of questioning is cause for concern. 

The children are happy, even the one who fetches a pencil from one of the pots at the back of the classroom to write Sangyeon’s birthday at the bottom of the class list, and Sangyeon can convince himself that he can really manage as a teacher. He sends the children off and stays behind for some marking and then to set up for the next day. 

On days when Jaehyun is working, Sangyeon gets the bus and walks the last fifteen minutes between the bus stop and his house. Until now he has been glad that he has avoided Haseul's offers to get a lift home. The fact that she has been waiting around until he finished on his birthday puts an end to this minor success. 

Sangyeon sits in the passenger seat of Haseul's car reluctantly after a five minute discussion over exactly how much she is insisting on giving him a lift. The car is nice, nicer than what people her age tend to drive but Sangyeon could say that about her house too but mentioning things like that would be hypocritical given the story Creker had given him. 

Sangyeon had mostly wanted to avoid being in a place he would instinctively want to search whilst Haseul was around, but he can only repress his need to inspect Haseul's car. He manages to only glance at the cluster of empty takeaway coffee cups rolling across the back seat of the car and leaves it at that. 

"That's a cute air freshener," Sangyeon says as he points out the cardboard bird hanging from the mirror. 

"Thanks," Haseul says as she switches on the engine and checks her mirrors. "I am not sure why you are so against me giving you lifts. We live in the same place and we work in the same place and our schedules are the same. It could be good for the environment if we did this all the time."

Sangyeon smiles. He has another excuse which he isn't so reluctant to admit to Haseul. Even if he can't tell her that he is struggling against the urge to search through everything to get closer to his goal for this mission, he can say this much without giving himself up. 

"I like having the excuse to spend that time with Jaehyun. We have almost always worked different patterns and even if this is the most time we have really spent together I don't want to take a single second for granted."

"Oh," Haseul says. Then, "You've never lived together before?" 

"We did the long distance thing for a while and Jaehyun has had to go abroad a lot," Sangyeon lies. An extraction might not be far off if Sangyeon can't manage to keep his story straight. But there is an easy way to deflect. "What about you and Jungeun? Has she been able to come back? I really was looking forward to meeting her."

Haseul makes a neutral sound. "I suppose it is our turn to be long-distance. I miss her but there was an emergency. I make do with the daily phone calls."

Haseul could use the excuse that she is concentrating if she really wanted to, but Sangyeon still finds this suspicious. Her phrasing is incidental and casual but there is a lot that she isn't saying intentionally. 

"That must be sad though," Sangyeon says.

"You know how it is, right? You've been there before."

"Yeah," Sangyeon lies. "But now that I know what living together is like I would have a harder time being apart. I know you have your actual friends to rely on but it might be nice for you to talk to me, or even Jaehyun, about things. If you want. We've been in your position before, right?"

Haseul only laughs. "Maybe I will," she says before she changes the subject. She is too good at this. Sangyeon is the one on the back foot, not sure what he is supposed to do to take control of the conversation. He is really terrible at his job. He needs to retire. 

When Jaehyun arrives home he is earlier than usual and his cheeks are pink as he struggles through the front door with a huge bouquet of flowers and two magenta helium balloons. 

Sangyeon had heard the racket Jaehyun was making and came to help but he already regrets such noble intentions. 

"Why am I thirty, Jaehyun?" 

"It is your thirtieth birthday, baby!" Jaehyun says merrily. 

"How many people saw you with those balloons and why did you bring them?" 

Jaehyun finally manages to get through the door. He releases the balloons and pushes the flowers into Sangyeon’s arms. He is enjoying this too much. 

"Don't worry about anything like that. Get ready. I have used my connections to set up a surprise birthday meal for you," Jaehyun says. He cups Sangyeon’s face in his hands and plants a kiss on Sangyeon’s mouth. Just the joking kind but enough that Sangyeon struggles to remind himself that this should all just be a joke. 

"What's the surprise?"

"If I tell you, it won't be a surprise," Jaehyun says. "Go on upstairs and get ready. Make yourself look pretty. Prettier than you already are anyway." 

"Are you serious?" Sangyeon asks. 

Jaehyun presses his lips together in attempt to hide his smile. It doesn't work. "Of course you're pretty anyway—" 

"I meant about having plans," Sangyeon interrupts. "We could just pretend. Or if we have to do something we'd have a takeaway and watch a few movies." 

"No way," Jaehyun says. "Our first birthday as a married couple. We have to do this properly. Now get upstairs so I can show you off to everyone. Tomorrow you can brag all about our exclusive dinner reservations to your new bestie Haseul." 

Part of Sangyeon wants to ask precisely what strings were pulled in order to set up this dinner on short notice, however another part of him would prefer to maintain the illusion of the surprise. 

They are a recently married couple finally getting the chance to live together for the first time and making the most of every celebration. Sangyeon can believe it. He will fall for the lies he needs to tell. He doesn't mind it at all. They won't be here for too long anyway. He allows himself to enjoy this. 

Upstairs, Sangyeon gets ready. He takes a shower and wonders whether it matters that he doesn't have any fancy clothes. His wardrobe was all picked out for him by Creker. Everything hanging up on his room was picked out for him. He looks like a teacher. He looks like a normal guy. Nothing too flashy, nothing too out of fashion. Nothing that would be appropriate for a celebratory dinner at anywhere as fancy as the place Jaehyun has claimed to reserve. Apparently it is an exclusive restaurant far out of their income bracket. 

"You look beautiful, birthday boy," Jaehyun says as he comes into the living room. Sangyeon glances up from his glass of wine and he holds out the other glass he had poured out. "Thank you, baby." 

Jaehyun sags into the sofa cushion beside Sangyeon and smiles over the rim of his wineglass. 

"How can you look like that and tell me that I'm beautiful?" 

"We're a beautiful couple, I think," Jaehyun says. He points at Sangyeon. "I think today you're the more beautiful one. Thirty suits you." 

"Thirty," Sangyeon grumbles. "How can you tell people that I'm thirty. Do I look thirty to you?" 

"You look fantastic for your age. You don't look a day over twenty-six," Jaehyun says confidently. He's an awful pain. "I called a taxi to pick us up. I was thinking about a driver but it isn't a good idea to have anyone else in our car." 

"The guns," Sangyeon agrees. 

"And all the little love notes I left in the car," Jaehyun notes. Sangyeon laughs. Jaehyun doesn't laugh. He only checks his watch. "Quick, chug yours too. The taxi will be here in just a minute or so." 

Jaehyun doesn't say a word about where this restaurant is and only the taxi driver is in on the secret. As Jaehyun avoids giving clues, and distracts Sangyeon from their ever-changing surroundings, it becomes more apparent that the restaurant is fancier than Sangyeon could possibly imagine. 

He has been to underground restaurants before. Never as a diner, and rarely through the nondescript doors protecting the entrances. 

The interior of this restaurant is lit dimly, atmospheric. The waiters and waitresses are all exceptionally tall and attractive and their uniforms and accessories were expensive. 

"I've never been to a restaurant where the uniform was designer. I've never seen so many Burberry shirts," Sangyeon says behind his menu when the waitress has gone with her sleek ponytail swishing behind her. 

"Only the best for you, darling." 

Sangyeon feels too coy, dissolving into giggles all off one glass of red. It is too easy to believe this. He really does think himself a newlywed. It is a mistake. 

There are no prices on the menu. Sangyeon highly doubts Creker's budget would stretch to something like this. 

"How did you even get a reservation here? We can't afford this, Jaehyun." 

Jaehyun reaches across the table for Sangyeon's hand. "Don't worry about it. I have a very important friend who pulled some strings for your birthday," he says gently. "It's a gift. Let's just eat something delicious and enjoy ourselves."

"What sort of friend?" Sangyeon asks on his suspicions. 

"A mysterious benefactor," Jaehyun says. "I did them a few favours and they decided it was good enough to earn a reward like this. I did it all for you, baby." 

Sangyeon can allow himself to laugh at this. Fine. He won't bother questioning it. He won't get a straight answer. Enjoying the evening for what it is would be for the best. 

They order steak for their main course and Sangyeon is eager enough to save room for the steak that he decides to skip a starter. Jaehyun follows suit, though he makes sure the table is stocked with wine. 

There is nothing to do whilst they wait but talk and even whilst eating steaks more tender than Sangyeon has ever known, there is still more to discuss. They talk a lot on account of the fact they spend so much time together, though this particular avenue of conversation feels somewhat like the first half hour of a blind date. 

"What was your worst mission?" Jaehyun asks. 

Sangyeon has an answer, easily the worst experience of his entire life, but this is his fake birthday so he doesn't feel like dredging up big mistakes like that. Especially not when it seems that Jaehyun isn't already aware of it. 

Sangyeon makes something up. He chooses a mission which he doesn't dwell on simply because he didn't enjoy it generally. 

"I had to track people down," Sangyeon offers. "After Creker gave me this particular assignment I realised that we aren't always the good guys. In fact we are rarely the good guys. We just do dirty work for the highest bidder."

"It's a job," Jaehyun says, quiet. 

"Do you think anyone has ever been killed because of what you did. Because of what you were paid for?" 

"Without a doubt," Jaehyun says. "I try not to think about it so much but I'd like to stop. Even if the people who get hurt are bad people, it isn't for me to punish them. I'm no better than them anyway." 

Looking across the table, Sangyeon sees something in Jaehyun's eyes. Caution and honesty. He can't ask further though he wonders whether he should. This is the man he loves. The man he is pretending to love. The man he is pretending not to love. Through all of this, Sangyeon isn't sure whether any of that qualifies him to pry further than this. 

"Nobody thinks you're judging anyone," Sangyeon says. "You do what you're paid to do. We both do. Or we try to." 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm not proud of a lot of the things I do either," Sangyeon admits. "It's just a job. That's it." 

Something sparkles on Jaehyun's eyes as he smiles. Not digging deeper was for the best. Whatever Sangyeon said turned out to be precisely what Jaehyun wanted to hear. 

"It's just a job?" He asks, smiling too brightly to disguise the expression. "So you're not sticking this out for the thrill of it?" 

"No way. The people who get roped onto working on salt farms aren't the people I should be tracking down and dragging back to work," Sangyeon says. Guilt pricks at him. Though it isn't genuinely what he considers to be his worst mission, his disillusionment with work had grown exponentially afterwards. He might not have killed anyone directly or indirectly, however he still has his regrets about doing the job he was paid for and not working out how to manage doing the right thing back then. 

Using his age as an excuse doesn't sit right in his mouth. It sharpens the taste of the wine on his tongue until it is too sour to stomach. He had known that bringing back the escaped farm hands was a dirty job and he had forced himself to ignore the pleas to his humanity. 

Sangyeon wasn't built for a life like this. Creker can see that too after his colossal mistake. The only problem is that the only way out won't lead him to any other sort of life. He sighs. 

This is his fake birthday. There is no point in dwelling on misfortune when he could have a passable time with Jaehyun. A friend. He hasn't many of those. 

"What was your worst experience on a mission?" Sangyeon returns the question. He wonders whether it is even close to his own and Jaehyun seems to be wondering the same thing himself as he ponders the question. 

"You won't laugh?" Jaehyun asks. 

"I can't make any promises. But I will try not to."

Jaehyun shrugs and swigs back the rest of his red wine. "Okay," he says, pausing like he perhaps needs more time before he gets into the explanation. He smiles so Sangyeon suspects some work will need to be put in to keep the not-promise of not laughing. Jaehyun nods to himself and says, "Okay. So you remember when we were in the mountains, right?" 

Sangyeon wants to ask which mountains but he already knows. Some mountains are more significant than others. "I remember."

"Great. So you remember how we were messing around and your bones are weird and brittle so your leg broke for basically no reason?" 

"I feel like you are the one misremembering this story," Sangyeon says. His leg definitely broke for a reason. Jaehyun pushing him off what turned out to be a long drop was a good enough reason for Sangyeon’s leg to break. It isn't anything Sangyeon was happy about at the time — once the shock of the pain and the sight of his leg at the wrong angle wore off he started worrying about how he was even going to be recovered, and how long it would take for his leg to be set to heal properly, whether he would have the same range of motion he had enjoyed until that point, how many cases he would have to forfeit because he was still recovering. He had a lot of time to worry about all of those things even with Jaehyun calling down to him and giving him updates on the pending rescue operation. 

"Listen," Jaehyun says, "I have fallen from even higher points and I haven't broken anything."

"Were you pushed or did you jump?" 

Jaehyun hesitates around a response. "Does it matter?" 

"It matters. How are you going to pick something that didn't even happen to you as your worst experience on a mission? Breaking my leg was worse than going to prison?" Sangyeon asks. He leans forward and waits for the response. 

"I haven't finished. You breaking your leg wasn't the worst thing that happened. So after I left you in the hospital—" 

"After you brought me flowers?" 

"Yes, after I brought you flowers," Jaehyun sighs. "Are you going to let me finish the story?" 

"Sorry," Sangyeon grins, "Go right ahead."

Jaehyun looks a lot like he needs to build himself back up to talking about this again but it doesn't take so long for him to begin where he left off. "So I still had to try to finish the mission. I had to keep sneaking around on my own but I almost got caught before I even got the cryptokey and these huge guys were chasing me and shooting at me, and all I could think was, 'what if I don't get to apologise to Sangyeon?' I was actually stressing over it."

Sangyeon frowns. His own glass has run dry and there isn't enough in the bottle for a full glass so he leaves it. Licks the dryness of his lips and wonders what the right words to say are. He clears his throat against the density of Jaehyun’s admission and says, "Did you apologise? I can't remember."

Sangyeon can remember but he wants to lighten the mood somehow. Jaehyun scoffs but he looks like this is the response he expected. 

"How could you ask me that? I didn't just apologise either. I practically waited on you hand and foot, I did everything you asked me to, I even did things that you didn't ask me to, just for the sake of nursing you back to health."

Sangyeon grins across the table. He remembers that, but he also remembers the events leading up to that payback. 

"You really struggled with that probation," Sangyeon says. He glances around but he isn't sure he can attract the attention of a waiter or waitress to refresh their drinks. He leans heavily on the table. "You were very good company though. So thank you for doing all of that whilst you had literally nothing else to do."

"Doesn't this remind you a bit of those days?" Jaehyun asks. "We both have jobs now, but you're still coming home to me and sometimes I cook for you. Maybe we should both quit and we could relive the old days."

Sangyeon grins. Maybe they should both quit. They aren't making any great advances in this case and they can't do any worse whilst spending all their time in their obscenely nice house. But Creker isn't paying for the two of them to while their lives away doing nothing. Realistically quitting wouldn't win them freedom. 

"What are you going to push me off this time?" Sangyeon asks, nudging reality from the front of his mind. 

Jaehyun hums for a moment and then inspects the dregs of his wine. "Someone's coming."

"What sort of someone?" 

"Excuse me, I am sorry to bother you right now but my nephew insisted," a woman wearing a silken dress says, sincere in her apologetic tone as she places her hand on the back of Sangyeon’s chair. She has a sharp jaw and sharper eyes and Sangyeon is very suspicious of her until he sees the nephew in question. A quiet little boy from Sangyeon’s class. There isn't much in the way of family resemblance. Jaehyun gasps sharply but shakes his head when Sangyeon glances at him. 

Sangyeon looks back at the woman and her nephew who is frowning up at Sangyeon with utmost determination. 

"It isn't any trouble. It is nice to see you, Hyunjun. I am surprised to see you here."

Hyunjun doesn't say anything, he keeps frowning up at Sangyeon and then he raises his gloved fist with a bundled up paper napkin clenched tightly in his grip. 

"I'm sorry," Hyunjun’s auntie says, "He's very shy. He said he wanted to give you a present. He asked one of the waiters for a paper napkin specially."

Sangyeon knows Hyunjun is shy. At school Hyunjun sits at his desk frowning at Sangyeon all day. This isn't unusual behaviour. 

"Did you make this for me?" Sangyeon asks as he accepts the screwed up napkin, his heart practically cooing at the fact this child is dressed like a tiny valet with white gloves and a cummerbund and everything, and pats Hyunjun’s shoulder. "I love the flower. This is the best present I have ever received, Hyunjun."

"Happy birthday," Hyunjun says quietly. 

Jaehyun gasps again but Sangyeon knows better than to pay him any attention. Sangyeon pretends to smell the flower. "Thank you so much for coming to see me with this gift. I will keep something this precious forever."

Hyunjun smiles. Sangyeon hasn't seen the expression before on Hyunjun’s face but he hopes he will get to see it again a few more times in the classroom too. 

Jaehyun manages to keep his mouth shut until Hyunjun’s auntie has led him away. But he could have done with keeping his mouth closed a few moments longer. "I don't know if this is the wine talking but I have changed my mind about getting a dog. Can we get a child instead?" 

"I think a child is harder to care for than a dog."

"I don't care. If you go to work on Monday and don't come back home with that child, I will make sure nobody finds your body."

Sangyeon laughs. "You'll kill me for not kidnapping a child?" 

"I will. I love him. My son Hyunjun. I'd be such a good father to him. Please, Sangyeon, I am ready for parenthood."

Jaehyun almost sounds serious. Sangyeon sighs and swirls his empty glass. He looks across the table at the man he could be married to. The man he thinks it would be nice to be married to if he had to live a life like this. If Sangyeon was the kind of man who had made himself a husband he thinks would be the kind of man who would have made himself a father too. 

He is lucky nobody is paying them enough attention to top up their drinks. Sangyeon doesn't need any more wine. 

"Are you ready for dessert, baby?" 

Jaehyun's lips pull into a smile. "My mysterious benefactor's generosity didn't stretch to dessert."

"That's okay. We have dessert at home," Sangyeon lies. It is enough to loosen a laugh from Jaehyun's lips and that is good enough for Sangyeon. They can leave and Sangyeon won't have to worry too much further about muddling himself up with a man who has everything he could ever want and, and a man who could give everything to a person who exchanges favours for the sake of surprises. 

Whilst waiting for the taxi, Jaehyun sways with the breeze and says, "If we were married, this is the part where I would kiss you."

Sangyeon glances at Jaehyun and then back to the direction their taxi should appear from. He shakes his head. He already feels like he is married but he is outside the restaurant so he needs to remind himself that he isn't entitled to that kiss or any other fictional excuses to believe he is allowed special treatment. But he also wants to push his luck. 

"Even if we aren't married it would still be this Sangyeon’s birthday."

Jaehyun grins and glances around but Sangyeon has already checked. There are few enough people around that this would be alright. So Jaehyun slips his arms around Sangyeon’s waist and pulls him close. And they kiss. Jaehyun kisses carefully, like he doesn't want to press too much but this is Sangyeon’s birthday so there isn't a sense of too much at all. 

Jaehyun pulls away too soon. He laughs awkwardly and says, "The taxi is here."

The taxi arrives a handful of seconds later and that is it. Sangyeon should accept the ending. The night has cut to black and the Sangyeon who is happy and in love presumably gets to go home with the man he loves. Firmly in reality, Sangyeon climbs into the back seat of the taxi with a colleague he should try harder not to love. 

He can still be happy. 

Chapter Text

Yet again, Sangyeon is greeted by the barrel of a gun when he arrives home. 

"It's nice to see you too," Sangyeon says. 

"Where is my son, Sangyeon? You came home without my son again."

Sangyeon presses a kiss to Jaehyun's cheek and goes to collapse on the sofa in the living room. It is the end of another week and aside from Jaehyun threatening to shoot him every day Sangyeon has had a lot to deal with at school. The furniture is comfortable enough that Sangyeon could fall asleep right here if it weren't for Jaehyun lifting Sangyeon’s head and wedging his thigh beneath. 

"Don't you love me?" Jaehyun asks, "Don't you want your one and only husband to be happy for the rest of his life? Why must you make me suffer this childless existence?" 

"I'm not going to kidnap a child from school for you," Sangyeon says. He does have to admit that Jaehyun's leg makes a comfortable pillow albeit an incredibly firm one. 

"But I love him," Jaehyun insists. 

"What about a dog?" Sangyeon asks. "Remember that? You used to want a dog. Can't we go back to that?" 

Jaehyun hums thoughtfully and combs his fingers through Sangyeon’s hair. It is nice even if the intent is clear. Sangyeon closes his eyes and decides he wouldn't mind it awfully if Jaehyun managed to draw a fairer response with the gentleness of his fingers. 

"I got a call earlier. Haknyeon wants to talk to us at half past five, but it is the weekend, so how about we watch one of those weird reality shows you secretly love, I can cook for you and then convince you how much we really do need a child."

"You have to go to work tonight," Sangyeon points out. Jaehyun's hand stills in Sangyeon’s hair. And then Jaehyun fake coughs. 

"I'm sick. I have to stay home with you all night and convince you to give me a son."

Sangyeon reaches his hand to Jaehyun's forehead. "You feel fine but if you're so sure that you're sick we need to get you to a hospital."

"I have just made a miraculous recovery," Jaehyun decides as he swats Sangyeon’s hand from his face. "First you disappoint me by not giving me a child or a dog and now I can't even spend time with my own trophy husband?" 

Sangyeon laughs. He could almost forget this is all pretend if he tries hard enough. But thinking that way is another prong to the denial pricking at Sangyeon constantly. He already has forgotten this is pretend. He already feels as though he is looking forward to a weekend with the husband he rarely gets to spend quality time with. But he needs to force himself not to miss Jaehyun too much tonight. 

They're colleagues, almost friends, but there is no reason to crave time together excessively. 

They cook together despite Sangyeon’s attempts to temper his thoughts and they eat, dinner for Sangyeon and breakfast for Jaehyun, and it is too comfortable. Their lives could always have been like this. An eternity could stretch on like this too. And Sangyeon is happy. 

"Did something good happen?" Haknyeon asks a minute into the scheduled call. He looks apprehensive on the screen in the back bedroom. But, no, the mission isn't seeing its conclusion any time soon. 

"No, not really," Sangyeon says at the same time Jaehyun says, "Sangyeon is finally going to give me a child."

Haknyeon hesitates like he is uncertain that he might actually have permission to laugh. Previously Haknyeon would have laughed too loud for no reason at all. Sangyeon wonders whether the caution is consideration from one friend to another. 

"A child?" Haknyeon asks carefully. 

"Haknyeon, our son is the most adorable little child on the planet," Jaehyun says, pride spilling out as though he is speaking a single iota of truth. "We met him at that restaurant I told you about before. He's like a little angel. I want to keep him in my pocket forever and show him off to everyone I meet."

"You're actually talking about someone else's child," Haknyeon says as though he has any reason to be surprised. "You were at the restaurant last Friday, weren't you? The Cave? Hopefully that kid left before that person was found dead at their table."

"What person?" 

Haknyeon still looks surprised. Maybe he expected Sangyeon and Jaehyun to already know everything that they need to but that isn't the case. This mission is different to every other assignment Sangyeon has been given, mostly because he hasn't had much communication with a coordinator at all. Jacob is technically Jaehyun's coordinator despite his promotion overseeing operations, but they have been on enough shared missions together that Sangyeon has missed being updated so thoroughly with everything there is to know through an earpiece. 

Haknyeon isn't a coordinator. He isn't used to having to inform field agents of every change or event that might affect their assignment. Jacob is good enough that they needed to pull him from coordinating one agent to consult for the main part of the mission, though he pretends he has the time to accompany Sangyeon and Jaehyun on the occasions they need the sort of support Haknyeon hasn't been trained to provide. 

After floundering like a fish on a line for a moment Haknyeon clears his throat. "I thought you would have known about it already. Or at least you might have heard from the local news or something. Someone had a heart attack at the restaurant you were going on about." 

That sounds like the sort of news which would pad out smalltalk for weeks yet Sangyeon hasn't heard anything like that in the staff room at work. Jaehyun looks equally puzzled but he skips right over that to say, "We really do need to take our son and protect him from everything. What sort of parents take him to a restaurant where the guests die at their tables?" 

"We were also at the restaurant," Sangyeon says. 

"We didn't take a child!" Jaehyun rebuts. There is no point in trying to talk sense into Jaehyun over this so Sangyeon defers to Haknyeon to get the meeting where it needs to be. 

"Is it a suspicious death?" Sangyeon asks. 

"It's not certain," Haknyeon says. "I mentioned to Jacob already and his team are looking into it. It does sound like a case has been opened so we'll need to send someone in to liaise with police. Seeing as you brought it up just now I thought you might have something to tell me. You were there after all." 

"All I can think of is meeting our son," Jaehyun supplies. He is utterly shameless, though Sangyeon understands precisely what Haknyeon is hinting at. 

Two field agents were at the scene of a potential event of interest. And neither of them have anything to say for themselves. Why would they? They hadn't gone to the secret restaurant on a tip which would bring a breakthrough on their mission. Rather, they had simply gone out for the fun of it. They were playing at being married and forgetting the basics of why they were even allowed here. 

"There wasn't anything that we noticed," Sangyeon offers. "If anything strange went on whilst we were at the restaurant, we would have reported it."

"Right," Haknyeon says. His sleeves slip down from where they sheath his hands when he reaches to push up his glasses. "Of course you would." 

Without saying as much, Sangyeon can take this as what it is meant to be. A warning. He needs to concentrate on the mission. They both do. 

As far as Sangyeon is concerned, no significant findings have been discovered as part of this mission. In the Creker labs, the lethal serum detected in the casualties at political events has not been entirely sequenced, the culprit poisoning foreign diplomats is still at large, and Sangyeon isn't any closer to finding out the location of Haseul's scientist parents who had been consulting with the Creker labs prior to their disappearance. Of course, Sangyeon himself hasn't been trying particularly hard. 

The mission cannot be mistaken for a success at this point. 

Inside Haseul's house, a convenient mirror of the house Sangyeon lives in, they search for any sorts of clues that could change the circumstances. Haseul had mentioned to Sangyeon that she would be out meeting friends this evening, but Sangyeon realises that the mission (at least the part he and Jaehyun are operating) is doomed to failure. 

"The bedroom was a failure," Sangyeon recounts to Jacob through the earpiece, though he was listening in at the time. "Are you sure we just don't have broken equipment? How can there be no little annexes in the walls or the floor?" 

"Maybe she doesn't have anything to hide," Jaehyun suggests as he surveys the living room. They keep the lights off as they had in all the other rooms they checked. As nice as Haseul is, she definitely has something to hide. They haven't yet found it in her stringently neat home but nobody is infallible. 

"If she has nothing to hide, what are the two of you doing playing happy families?" Jacob asks. "Also I'm offended that you'd think I'd supply you with faulty equipment, Sangyeon." 

"It could have broken after you gave it to us," Sangyeon grumbles. 

"No," Jacob says. Jaehyun laughs and turns to start looking through the bookcase. Sangyeon resigns himself to using potentially faulty equipment to scan the walls and the floor for any empty spaces hidden behind the surface. 

Sangyeon finds nothing and he wonders whether the scanner works through multiple objects. He isn't in the mood to move an entire bookcase after the debacle upstairs with Haseul's bed, though pointing the scanner at the bookcase only results in an error message. If there is anything hidden in the walls it would likely be behind the huge bookcase. 

"Haseul and Jungeun have the same taste in books as we do," Sangyeon notes. He expects a laugh but Jaehyun frowns at him, confused in the dark. He looks back to the shelves and ignores Sangyeon’s observation. 

"Jacob, if Jo Haseul is hiding something, do you have any ideas what it might be?" 

"A comically large map leading to the location of her parents, hopefully," Jacob says. 

They certainly aren't going to find one of those. The house is immaculate and the decor is plain and boring. Definitely not anything as intriguing as a map. It looks hardly lived in, yet Sangyeon has seen Haseul coming and going as one would expect. He doesn't understand why the place looks so much like a show home. 

"You're going to laugh," Jaehyun says as he replaces a pair of pink porcelain bunnies kissing on the bookcase. 

"Am I really going to laugh?" Sangyeon asks as he tries to work out where the wires from the television lead to. 

"Will I laugh too?" Jacob asks into the earpiece. 

"Maybe you'll laugh," Jaehyun says as he sifts through volumes on the bookcase. "Can you get up to the ceiling in eight?" 

"Eight what?" Jacob asks.

The answer is obviously 'seconds' so Sangyeon isn't going to say anything when he has so few of them already. Perhaps he wastes some time but he hops onto the sofa, and jumps in the way Jaehyun had shown him a few weeks before. Strangely it works and Sangyeon can brace himself, taut between the wall and the ceiling. Squinting through the dark, Sangyeon can see where Jaehyun is holding himself at the ceiling. The pair of them are completely still and just as Jaehyun said there is the distant sound of a door opening. 

The slap of flip-flops is muffled yet distinct through the hallway outside the living room and Sangyeon feels his heart hammering in his chest as he hears a familiar laugh. The living room door swings open and Haseul heads to the sofa to search for something amongst the cushions with her phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear. 

The lights are off and Haseul didn't bother switching them on, which is strange considering she is supposed to be looking for something. 

"I know, cutie," Haseul says, "You're really not missing out on anything. The pool is a lot more hassle than it is worth anyway. It's nothing like home." 

Haseul gives up on her search and flops onto the sofa, stretching her free arm and her legs and squeaking as she extends her reach. Her back arches and then she sags. Not once does she tip her head back or look upwards. 

The slickness of Sangyeon’s palms is getting dangerous. He feels himself slipping, though this really isn't the time to ask Jaehyun for tips on how to remain steady. There probably isn't any amount of advice in the world that will help him as he tries to push upwards against the dragging slide. 

Haseul giggles at something she hears on the phone and then the front door knocks. 

"Oh it sounds like my dinner has just arrived. Let me just grab the door." 

No sooner has Haseul left the room, Sangyeon does his best not to knock anything over on his way to the ground. He isn't at all graceful but that doesn't matter. Jaehyun is silent as he lands behind him. 

"She stepped outside and closed the door," Jaehyun says. Jacob laughs. 

"What is going on?" 

There is no time to explain. Just as Jaehyun said, Haseul is nowhere to be seen and the front door is closed. The two of them rush for the back door. They need to hop through a few gardens before they make it to the alleyway at the end of the street where they had stashed their belongings. They had prepared with a straw picnic basket as their cover though Sangyeon hadn't expected they would need it in such a rush. Quickly, they strip away their gloves and electronics and their jackets. Jaehyun tells Jacob that they will check in with him later and everything is shoved inside the picnic basket. 

Heat lingers in Sangyeon’s face as he and Jaehyun emerge and attempt to casually stroll down their street. He feels like he has been caught and he must pretend that he hasn't. He can handle this, even when Jaehyun cuts one of his strides short, expression serious as he steps into vision. 

"Chase me," Jaehyun whispers as he yanks the basket out of Sangyeon’s grip and dashes away. 

Sluggish with uncertainty, Sangyeon eventually manages to give chase, catching each of the laughs Jaehyun throws back towards him. Sangyeon can run faster than Jaehyun. Catching him should be simple, yet the thought of lengthening his stride gives Sangyeon pause. What if he catches up to Jaehyun? They're running for a reason and Sangyeon doubts the reason is that he should kiss Jaehyun silly against their front door. 

Across the street, Haseul is still outside her own door. She is crouched on the stoep whilst rifling through the paper bag of her food order. Jaehyun is too good at this. He notices too much about his surroundings and knowing that makes Sangyeon afraid. There must be so much more that his partner has picked up on. That is the only reason Sangyeon gives in and catches up to Jaehyun's pretended clumsiness and kisses him silly against their front door. 

It isn't because that is what he wants. It is because that is what he needs to do in order to maintain their cover. 

Gripping onto Jaehyun and pressing him against the solid door feels like too much of what Sangyeon wants. Despite his mental reminders to focus on the task at hand instead of the softer parts of what he has here with Jaehyun, this is a lot like giving in. Greedily, he licks into Jaehyun's mouth and bites and nips at the broken breaths which puff against his spit-slick lips. 

Jaehyun ducks his chin and breaks the kiss, his breath short from the run, and hopefully even from the kiss, and his eyes are dark. Clear, yet impossible to see into the depths. 

"She's gone," Jaehyun says, low. "Help me clear my bedroom." 

It isn't a question, though Sangyeon absently wonders what would happen if he refused even whilst he is nodding. The request is a strange one and Sangyeon glances across the street at number 12 before following Jaehyun inside. The house across the road is still, though the amber glow of lamplight pushes against the pane of the living room window. There are hints that Sangyeon is struggling to piece together. 

More confusing is the fact that Jaehyun is clearing his bedroom. All of the pictures from the walls and the nightstand are removed and placed outside the door, everything electronic is pulled out and set beside the stack of photo frames, the bulb is screwed out of the ceiling light, and the curtains are inspected for creative stitching or anything hidden amongst the folds of heavy fabric before being drawn. The process is repeated for the en-suite bathroom and Jaehyun turns on the mechanical shower, cranking the dial to a thunderous roar. 

Even their phones and rings are shut away in Sangyeon’s bedroom. Jaehyun appears almost paranoid, though it would be hypocritical to raise a point like this when unease is seeping through Sangyeon’s body and drawing tension through his limbs. 

They return to Jaehyun's bathroom and Sangyeon feels oddly cold sitting on the floor beside the freezing spatter of water against the shower curtain. 

"What's wrong?" 

Jaehyun, sitting cross-legged facing Sangyeon shakes his head. "You think this is all strange, don't you?" 

"I do," Sangyeon agrees, though he hadn't thought it strange enough to avoid Creker's surveillance to this degree. "Why didn't you check me over for a wire or anything?" 

Jaehyun licks his lips, still flushed pink from earlier. "I trust you. Should I not?" 

"No, you can trust me. It's just that I don't understand why you don't want Creker to hear what you have to say to me," Sangyeon admits. He has seen Jaehyun serious many times before now. Taking situations seriously comes with the territory of their work, though this time it makes Sangyeon feel nervous. There is more wrong than Sangyeon can see. 

"What is Jo Haseul like at work?" 

"Nice?" Sangyeon says. There is more to say than that and he doesn't need the eye-roll from Jaehyun to indicate that much. "She doesn't reveal much. Most of the time she manages to flip questions back on me. I tried to ask about Jungeun and ended up saying that we hadn't ever lived together before and she gave me nothing in return." 

"You said we hadn't lived together before?" Jaehyun asks, almost inaudible beneath the rush of the shower head. 

"You already said something different, didn't you?" Sangyeon realises. Jaehyun nods. 

"She knows at least one of us is lying. What do we actually know about our target? From the file." 

"She's a teacher at Paransup Primary School," Sangyeon supplies, eyes falling shut as he recalls all he can from the file. "She has a girlfriend called Kim Jungeun, though we have been unable to make contact with her, her parents are both leading toxicologist who were consulting with Creker before they disappeared. She lives across the road from us at 12 Cedar Drive." 

"And how much of that do you think is true?" Jaehyun asks. "Her house is exactly like ours." 

"We live on the same street, it makes sense that the houses would be designed the same," Sangyeon offers. Jaehyun grasps his wrist tightly and Sangyeon can't look anywhere besides the urgency in Jaehyun's eyes. 

"You even said that she has the same books as us. Have you ever even opened one of those things downstairs?" Jaehyun asks. "I certainly haven't. They're not our books and they're not Haseul's either. Everything is set out too perfectly, like a show-home. She doesn't live there, Sangyeon." 

The conclusion is obvious though none of the reasoning is clear. 

"Why are we here?" Sangyeon asks, his hand covering the grip of Jaehyun’s fingers. "Do you think that Creker put her here?" 

"Maybe. But if that is the case, what is there to investigate?" Jaehyun sighs and leans forwards, tipping until his forehead comes to rest in the slope between Sangyeon’s neck and shoulder. He is holding his breath, tight in his chest to the point that he is trembling. Sangyeon frees one of his hands and allows his fingers to stroke gently at the nape of Jaehyun’s neck. 

"We just might not be seeing everything right now. But I'm here." 

Jaehyun nods. He breathes. He sags even more heavily into Sangyeon until they both topple onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. For now, it is fine just to hold Jaehyun. 

They will just have to ignore Jacob when he prompts them to check in and debrief from the evening's excursion into Haseul's house. Sangyeon doesn't have anything worth saying and he definitely doesn't want to do something silly like admit to the fact that Haseul must have known they were inside. 

Things don't make sense as they are but, holding onto Jaehyun, all Sangyeon can think of is how Haseul had lied about going out in the first place, how she knew someone was inside her house yet she offered no more sign of her knowledge than the fact she determinedly looked away from the intruders. She is a strange woman and Sangyeon has no idea how someone like that can remain so calm whilst exposing nothing of her life and the secrets Sangyeon has been sent to uncover. 

Whether Creker has a hand in the circumstances around Haseul or not, Jaehyun can trust Sangyeon. There isn't anything Sangyeon wants to do to disrupt that singular certainty.

Chapter Text

After weeks, Sangyeon’s class are ready to present their performance of The Little Prince. Strictly speaking, Sangyeon wouldn't exactly say they are totally prepared, especially when Seoyeon still needs to be fed her lines and the majority of the children struggle to remember their time to speak unless Sangyeon points at them, but the night has come. 

Though Haseul had mentioned that it was a shame Ms Kwon had arranged for an after school assembly for her class and neglected to consider that her maternity leave would start earlier than expected, Sangyeon finds the entire situation convenient for everyone who isn't him. All the same, Sangyeon can admit that helping the children read their simplified lines and sorting out their costumes has really filled his heart with pride. 

Admittedly, Sangyeon is a terrible teacher. He has been so enamoured by how well the children have been doing (as well as any thirty-strong class of six-year-old children can) in their rehearsals and he has set lesson plans aside in favour of letting the kids draw and colour. 

The show night itself makes Sangyeon prematurely proud enough that he is glad to have let his little actors rest their minds by unleashing their creativity. Seeing them in their costumes, Sangyeon wonders whether the children will let him keep all the pictures they drew today. The stack of pictures is sitting in his kitchen, ready for him to show off his multi-talented children to Jaehyun after the play. 

Checking the audience to see whether he has the chance to show off now, the seat reserved for Jaehyun is still empty. It's fine. He will be here. He promised. He might just be regretting his idea to ride a taxi here. 

A tug at Sangyeon’s trouser leg draws his attention from looking at the audience. Already costumed, director Sung Nayeon is peering up at him. 

Sangyeon cricket has crouches to greet her and smiles. 

"Hi, Nayeon, are you alright?" 

"There are lots of people." 

Sangyeon nods and squeezes Nayeon's shoulder. "That's right. All of your friends and family have come to support you all. They want to see your hard work." 

Nayeon shakes her head. "Not everyone has family." 

"They don't?" Sangyeon asks. He doesn't know enough about his class. There are likely a lot of things he doesn't know about his class and their families but he had hoped everyone had someone to cheer for them. Everyone is in their classroom, getting ready to perform, so Sangyeon can't quite tell what Nayeon means. Someone must bring the children to the school so someone must be there to cheer for them. 

"Hey, if you think there is anyone who won't get cheered enough, we should go to encourage them. As the director, you should look after your cast." 

The resulting smile from Nayeon sparks in Sangyeon’s chest. He loves these kids so much. He wants them to have fun if he can't do right by them as the teacher they deserve. 

Teachers of the like the children deserve have come in to help get everyone ready for the performance. A few of the teachers have seen parts of rehearsals already and praised the class for their work and they are nice enough to encourage the class and help them out with costumes and props on the evening of the show. 

Haseul is one of the kind teachers volunteering their time. Sangyeon is still wary of her and everything that surrounds her though he knows it would be strange of him to pretend not to have seen her wave at him. The thing is, Sangyeon doesn't know what to say. After thanking her for her help, he is worried what else he might say. 

Espionage is the only job he has really known as an adult and his mental sharpness has deteriorated already. He won't be any good to anyone once he has been extracted from this assignment. 

A frantic vibration from Sangyeon’s ring feels like a blessing. 

"Sorry," Sangyeon says as Haseul approaches, hand in hand with the Prince's rose Chaewon. "I just need to call my husband. He's sent a message that makes no sense." 

"That sounds a lot like him," Haseul jokes. Sangyeon smiles tightly and excuses himself. The pattern of vibrations is still ongoing. He is impressed with himself for masking the ache from the endless shocks. 

The shock doubles when Sangyeon returns the favour though the signal ends when Sangyeon stops. The strange thing is the fact that Jaehyun doesn't pick up the call. 

Though Jaehyun must have been messing with him initially, Sangyeon is unsettled by the fact that none of his five calls are answered. Nothing prevents Jaehyun from answering calls. He has called Sangyeon whilst eating, whilst he was on the toilet, and seconds after rousing himself from the depths of sleep. Regardless of the time or the place, Jaehyun will answer Sangyeon’s calls or will return the call before even a full minute has passed. 

Right now, Jaehyun is meant to be at home or on his way to the school to watch the class performance. Right now, Jaehyun is unreachable. Sangyeon can't even begin to imagine what is wrong. He can imagine though he doesn't want to. For all his jokes, Jaehyun wouldn't send this signal for no reason. 

The show is about to start yet Sangyeon has something else to worry about. He calls and he calls and he can see the other teachers counting up the cast of children against the lists drawn up by Sangyeon once all of the children had their roles. 

Relief forces past the clot of dread in Sangyeon’s chest when one of his calls connects. It is okay. Things aren't the worst they could be even if Jaehyun says nothing. Sangyeon tries to laugh, his hand shaking as he wipes it along his trouser-leg to sheer away the sweat gathering in the creases of his palms. 

"Jaehyun?" Sangyeon tries. "Is this silent treatment revenge for all those times I never paid enough attention to my darling husband?" 

Nothing. No response. This isn't like Jaehyun at all. 

"Is it just that you won't be able to resist seeing all of these adorable kids? I will make sure you don't kidnap any of them." A pause. Still nothing. "Alright. We can't kidnap one of my students but we can get a kid, or a dog, or anything you want, baby. Does that sound good? I'll come and pick you up and we can work it out, honey, alright?" 

Sangyeon waits. Since being recruited by Creker, Sangyeon has annually had to undergo training to teach him tactics and devices to remain calm. In a job like this, all field agents require clear heads to make rational decisions. All of that training is useless right now. 

Air isn't reaching him. The atmosphere in this little school corridor is too thin and Sangyeon’s chest aches. He can't think straight. He can't take this. 

"I'm coming," Sangyeon says. He hangs up and tries to breathe. He can't. Rather than oxygen filling his chest, the acidic burn of panic rises up to the base of his throat. 

If anything happens to Jaehyun, Sangyeon doesn't know what he will do. There is nothing he can do. All he can think of is how he can't take the possibility that his partner is gone. 

Making his excuses to leave is easy. In the state Sangyeon is in, there is no way he should be around the children and filling them with unease right before they are due to perform the play they have been working on for weeks. He gets to go home and his hands shake as he grips the steering wheel. He can't do this. He can't face losing Jaehyun, though he certainly cannot handle the prospect of finding out that he is too late to help. 

If Jaehyun were the one in this situation, undoubtedly he wouldn't worry. He is confidence incarnate and he would know exactly what to do, he would know exactly how to fix things. That is the energy Sangyeon needs. Without a plan, he can fix anything. Just like Jaehyun would be able to do. 

Sangyeon drives. He drives home, a shorter journey than he would like. Pulling into the driveway, Sangyeon sees the living room light glowing around the edges of the curtains. It's early. Too early for the lights to be on and the curtains drawn. 

Fine. 

Sangyeon needs to remember who and what he is. A field agent from Creker agency should be ashamed of not confronting an enemy head-on. He reaches into the glove-compartment for the gun stashed in the car. Nothing. Just papers and plastic toys which come with fast-food kids' meals. He checks the pockets in the doors and the pockets in the backs of the front seats, and he even checks underneath the seats. Nothing. Not a single trace of a weapon. 

That is fine too. 

An agent wouldn't be worth the time spent training them and the resources invested in every mission if they were only as good as a firearm. There would be something in the house that Sangyeon could use anyway. This isn't anything to worry about. 

After getting out of the car, Sangyeon takes a breath before unlocking the front door to the house. He lets himself inside. 

Initially, nothing is wrong. Which drives him to take everything in. He hears nothing. He sees nothing out of place. He doesn't bother taking quiet footsteps, not when he has obviously already arrived. The living room is empty. There is nothing within reach. Sangyeon could take his time to find something hidden away but the sound of a grunt draws him immediately to the dining room. Jaehyun is tied to a chair. 

A man Sangyeon has never seen before is standing beside Jaehyun and levelling the barrel of a gun at him. The man smiles at Sangyeon. 

"You must be the husband I have heard so much about." 

Sangyeon nods. He glances at Jaehyun who is slumped in the chair with his head bowed. "Jaehyun, baby, are you good?" 

Jaehyun nods and lifts his head, chilling intensity in his eyes. He is gagged though Sangyeon wonders exactly how anyone could overpower him to end up in the chair. 

Sangyeon looks up to the intruder. "Who are you?" 

"Just a friend of your Jaehyun from work. Nobody special. Not like you. The two of you, what are you hoping to achieve from this mission of yours?" 

Sangyeon doesn't need the flash from Jaehyun's eyes. He wouldn't admit his identity so easily. 

"What are you talking about?" Sangyeon asks weakly. He needs to do better. He needs to pretend. "Do you really need a gun? If it's money you want, we don't have much but we can try to scrape something together, just, please don't hurt Jaehyun." 

"You know I'm not here for money, right?" The man says. He lifts the gun higher. "Your cover isn't that good. These rings were obvious enough." 

On the dining table behind Jaehyun and the man, Jaehyun's phone and ring sit innocuously. It explains the circumstances that brought Sangyeon here. 

"The rings were custom-made. We wanted to stay connected wherever we are." 

"You're really committed to this nonsense. Before I get rid of both of you, I have to ask, if you're spying on my boss, why do both of you have to be here? Your agency could have just sent Lee Jaehyun alone but this obnoxious marriage thing has worn down everyone's patience. What do you do here?"

"Will you let Jaehyun go?" Sangyeon asks, his voice cracking. "I'm a teacher. I'm not… I don't know what you're talking about. Please just let my husband go. We won't tell anyone that you—" 

"Enough!" The intruder shouts. Sangyeon has already flinched so, spy or not, he looks pathetic. "Don't you have any real weapons here? All I could find was this thing. I already tested it out on your precious husband and it only discharges stun bolts. I wanted something fun. If you really are so underfunded, I will just have to slaughter you like a pig. Do you think that would upset this nuisance enough?"

This is something Jaehyun has already heard. The silent scream of his eyes reveals that much. That makes sense. Sangyeon understands exactly how he must play this. 

"Don't you think that Jaehyun has seen enough people die?" Sangyeon asks, voice firm. "What is one more death? Your stun gun is useless for that. What else have you got?" 

The man laughs. "Finally. I have a knife. I could slit your throat." 

Sangyeon shrugs. "That sounds good. It is a lot like Jaehyun's M.O. if I recall. I'd like the opportunity to fight back."

"Of course you do." 

Sangyeon isn't sure whether that means he will be granted a chance to fight back. He fiddles with the ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. The ring on the table judders against Jaehyun's phone, almost enough but not quite. 

"The thing is," the man says, interrupting Sangyeon’s disappointment at not managing to create a small distraction, "Even if you admit the truth about being a spy, nobody would believe that seeing you die won't affect your partner Jaehyun. The way he talks about you makes me sick. Maybe he is pretending, but if he is, he is overdoing it. I think he really does love you, so I am going to take great pleasure in draining the life from your body whilst he can do nothing but watch."

Sangyeon shivers, excited. It isn't often that he has had to face-off with an adversary like this. In the time this man has been rambling on in his sick delight, Sangyeon has catalogued everything on his person which he can use. The man in front of him claims to have just the gun loaded with stun-bolts and a knife. Surely there must be more, just like Sangyeon hasn't admitted to the small arsenal in the attic. However there might not be a live gun to hand. The stun gun must have been employed to incapacitate Jaehyun before tying him up. The man who broke in has the beginnings of sense which could have made this a tidy job though his ego fails him. And all the blathering and monologuing gave Sangyeon ample opportunity to come up with a workable plan of action. 

In Sangyeon’s pockets he has a few pens, his phone, his wallet, and the house-keys. On his left hand he has his wedding ring. On his right wrist he has a watch. A workable plan. 

The man likes to talk, so Sangyeon puts him at ease with some words of his own. 

"Secretary Jang," Sangyeon says, a guess which could be wrong and he still wouldn't care, "if Jaehyun loves me so much, don't you think I should put up a fight? I can't make it easy for you. I have to make Jaehyun proud of loving someone like me." 

The barrel of the gun is pointed more insistently, though Sangyeon has seen blind eyes like this often enough. He isn't shaken. He is much calmer than he was before, just knowing that Jaehyun is alive and well. 

Secretary Jang smirks at Sangyeon and says, "How exactly are you—" 

Sangyeon shakes the watch from his wrist, the latch coming undone easily enough that he can fling the loop of aluminium and quartz into the leering face before him. Before there is a chance to react, Sangyeon leaps forward. He drives his house key into Secretary Jang's armpit and stabs a pen into his thigh. 

The garbled scream is a symphony to Sangyeon’s ears and he grapples the gun from Secretary Jang easily. A kick in just the right point jolts the man's knee sideways and he yells louder at the snap, crumpling to the ground. A stun bolt to the other leg incapacitates him completely. 

Sangyeon can't spare too much attention whilst loosening the gag from Jaehyun's mouth though he manages the task whilst keeping the gun trained on the intruder. 

"Why did you come here?" Jaehyun asks through the strip of irritation around his mouth. "Anything could have happened and you came in here unarmed. That's so irresponsible of you, Sangyeon." 

"What about you?" Sangyeon scoffs. "Are you saying I should have left you here to die?" 

"Yes." 

"You don't mean that," Sangyeon says. He fires a few more bolts at Secretary Jang and approaches to feel around for the man's knife. He takes the weapon and cuts Jaehyun free. 

"I didn't mean it, but what about you?" 

"What about me?" Sangyeon asks. "it's about time I saved you for once." 

Jaehyun is on Sangyeon in an instant, caution stripped by the billowing of a changing wind, arms binding tightly around Sangyeon and fingertips digging into his flesh. Jaehyun kisses like he knows time is running out, searching for something as he presses against Sangyeon, hard, desperate. 

Kissing back is a reflex, it isn't anything Sangyeon can help as he listens out for an odd creaking from above or the whisper of boots against carpet or the rustle of an arm being raised to point the barrel of a gun right at them. None of those sounds creep beneath Jaehyun's ragged breaths and near-silent begging for Sangyeon not to rush into dangerous situations again. 

It is their job. Sangyeon isn't going to point out something so obvious. 

Sangyeon reaches back to find the dining table and he carefully places the gun onto the surface. Jaehyun pushes more, tugging at Sangyeon’s clothes, frustrated in his incompetence, and pressing him against the table. 

Adrenaline does a lot to a person. It is embarrassing and unfortunate and misguided and understandable. Surviving the aim of a firearm is enough to trick a person into miming the motions of love, lust, or relief. Sangyeon isn't going to get annoyed at Jaehyun for this. He matches Jaehyun's fervour, even if just because his ignited nerves are begging him to do so. Hopefully Jaehyun will remember himself, remember that their relationship is their cover, before this gets far enough that either of them has anything to regret. 

Kissing Jaehyun is somehow exactly what Sangyeon expects and not anything like any of the kisses he has had before. But Sangyeon supposes that this is exactly the problem. They're too young for their jobs and everything that comes with them. They're too young to venture this near to the limits of their own mortality. 

When Jaehyun eventually succeeds in unfastening Sangyeon’s trousers, the hand he shoves into Sangyeon’s pants is oddly cool, bloodless against the searing of Sangyeon’s hardening cock. That is what reminds Sangyeon why they need to stop. Jaehyun is never nervous, not like this. 

"Hey, Jaehyun," Sangyeon says, voice hushed though he isn't sure why it comes out that way. He tilts his head back so he at least has room to breathe, room to think, and Jaehyun only chases so far before latching onto Sangyeon’s exposed neck. 

"Yeah?" 

"Stop."

Jaehyun's breath is hot against Sangyeon’s neck. He slips his hand out of Sangyeon’s pants and takes another moment before he looks at Sangyeon. 

"What's wrong?" 

"What do you think, Jaehyun?" That doesn't come out quite how Sangyeon wants. It is less patient than it should be but for all his intent to understand why Jaehyun is doing this, he still doesn't like the fact it is happening at all. "We need to think clearly. There's cleanup to be done, and we should try to put something together for our report tomorrow morning."

"It can wait."

It can't wait.

"I know you could have died tonight, but this isn't going to be the last time. For either of us." Sangyeon hopes just saying that is enough. Jaehyun's face pulls into a frown. It must be enough. 

"Isn't that more reason for us to just admit what is going on here? I don't want to lie to myself or you anymore and I don't want you to lie either. I know you feel the same way, I just need you to say it."

"The same way as what, Jaehyun? This is just some adrenaline rush or whatever. You are allowed to have your life-affirming moment but at least have some self-awareness."

Jaehyun draws away. He really has no clue about any of this if he has it within himself to look like their reality is betrayal. 

"Sangyeon, I have seen the way you look at me. I know you love me too."

"We're pretending to be married. How else am I supposed to look at you?" Sangyeon asks. The excuse is unsatisfactory and Sangyeon hasn't felt so disappointed in himself in a long while. He is supposed to be subtle. He is supposed to have complete mastery of the expressions he shows to the world. But Jaehyun has seen through enough that it probably hadn't taken any covert training to match up the clues. 

Part of this is Sangyeon’s fault and he can't deny the fact no matter how he wishes he could. But Jaehyun shouldn't have been entertaining any impossibilities either. They are pretending to be a young couple with wealthy parents who helped them to buy their way into a neighbourhood of the elite. None of that is even close to reality and Sangyeon has been reminding himself whenever he allowed himself to daydream too hard. He wishes Jaehyun could have done the same. 

"Are you really going to deny it?" Jaehyun asks. "I am terrified of the thought of losing you, Sangyeon. I don't want to live the rest of my life without at least giving us a chance."

Sangyeon braces himself against the table. He understands the sentiment but he also understands how transitory emotions like this can be. 

"This isn't real, Jaehyun. We're just playing characters. I'm sorry that I have been too deep in my role but I don't think we should jeopardise the assignment because of something like that."

Jaehyun sets his jaw and takes another few steps back away from Sangyeon and the table. His heels clip at the unconscious intruder behind him and something in his face imitates acceptance. 

"The assignment. Alright. You're not going to change your mind, are you? I hope you understand that I won't change my mind either. Tomorrow morning we can return to business as usual, but I am not going to take back anything that I have said. I love you, Sangyeon."

Sangyeon keeps his mouth closed. He can't say anything back. His thoughts spring to his mouth on the impulse of nerves but he seals them behind his lips and his teeth. The words are burning on Sangyeon’s tongue but he endures until Jaehyun can no longer bear the silence. 

Jaehyun steps over Secretary Jang and his footsteps fade as he makes his way up the hardwood stairs. Sangyeon knows he loves Jaehyun too but he can at least prevent himself from stating it as fact. 

Regardless of what Sangyeon thinks he feels, what Jaehyun is confused into thinking he feels, there is a job to be done. 

Sangyeon calls the agency. He requests a small cleanup and someone to remove the intruder in question. He calls the school, explains that there has been a family emergency and prays that his shoddy excuse for running away is anything that the school management can accept. Perhaps not, Sangyeon isn't in the best frame of mind to make excuses but he needs to try. 

Chaekyung heading up the cleanup team is unfortunate. It feels like some sort of cosmic joke. She had been a field agent until only a few months before the start of Sangyeon’s deployment on this assignment. Following extraction from her most recent mission she decided to shift the trajectory of her career path to something less active in the field. It feels like a sign. 

"How many times did you want to shoot that guy?" Chaekyung asks as she accepts the drink Sangyeon offers. "I know you were only shooting to stun but you probably could have killed him."

"Is that supposed to make me feel any better?" 

"No," Chaekyung admits as she blows on the surface of the hot chocolate. "I don't really know how many stun bolts it would take to kill a person. But dressing yourself properly might help you feel better. Did this guy try to steal your clothes?" 

"No, shut up." Sangyeon’s face feels hot even in the dark but Chaekyung beckons him to follow. They leave the dining room to the cleanup team but Chaekyung isn't satisfied with the kitchen, the living room, or the lounge. They end up in the back garden, sitting at the edge of the pool.

"Where is Jaehyun?" Chaekyung asks. 

"Upstairs. Probably hoping you push me into this pool and put me out of my misery for everyone's sake."

Chaekyung slurps her hot chocolate loudly enough that Sangyeon considers slapping it out of her hands and into the pool. But he isn't certain of the logistics involved with cleaning hot chocolate out of swimming pools so he decides against it. 

"How did he take the news?" She eventually asks in the fresh comfort of the night. The surface of the pool ripples in a light breeze. And Sangyeon tells another lie. 

"What news?" 

"That you love him." Chaekyung is patient as she waits for Sangyeon to give up on denying things. Even if she isn't quite right, she is too close to the truth. "If he is anything like me it didn't go well."

"This is different. He's not a target or a civilian or anything. He's Jaehyun who is on the same payroll as me. And he's the one who told me."

"He told you that he likes you? And it didn't make you happy?" Chaekyung asks. 

Sangyeon wonders how fair it would be to turn the question back around to Chaekyung. Someone told her that they loved her and she was definitely not happy for it. But that seems too mean considering she is lending him an ear to complain to. 

"We haven't even been pretending to be together for that long. It is easy living with him and we only need to really act up when we're around other people. He's just tricked himself into thinking the feelings that his character has are real. I wouldn't be able to take hearing that he loves me and at some point later finding out that he was mistaken."

Chaekyung is quiet for a moment. Waiting for her to pass judgement is not peaceful. Sangyeon wishes he could go back to before Jaehyun said anything, but there isn't a spy agency on the planet which had access to that technology. So he needs to make do with the very analogue technology of Chaekyung's limited wisdom. 

"What about your feelings? Are you not just afraid that you'll be the one to change your mind? Why does it have to be him who isn't really in love?" 

"Because I have loved Jaehyun since before we were given this assignment."

"And Jaehyun only started loving you today?" Chaekyung asks. She doesn't wait for a response. "Don't invalidate his feelings just because you're afraid of yourself. You just don't want to be the bad guy, Sangyeon. Sometimes you have to be, but only when you know it is the only way. Jaehyun knows the things you know. He is an agent just like you. He isn't some poor sap who you have been sent to seduce for their secrets. He knows what loving you means."

Sangyeon sighs. Hearing this from Chaekyung isn't fair. She had a bad experience, she drew someone into a lie and now she is still aching from it. But this isn't proof that this situation is real. 

Jaehyun is better than this. Right now he might be sulking in his bedroom, but he is one of Creker's best. He isn't going to hold himself back to Sangyeon’s level just for some time together. Having to babysit Sangyeon right now is one thing but the next mission and the one after that will put Jaehyun back on track. He won't be stuck on strangely false assignments like this forever. He'll want to move on and he will want to take the glory that belongs to him alone. 

The grip of a hand over the lower half of his face is what wakes Sangyeon. He struggles against the hold that has him pinned down in his bed but a moment of dizziness abates and, through the dark, the person in Sangyeon’s bed is unmistakably Jaehyun. 

"Shut up," Jaehyun hisses. He pauses, but he doesn't try to bargain with Sangyeon before releasing him. He shuffles back, pulling away some of Sangyeon’s sheets. There is enough space and Sangyeon can pretend that they're not in the middle of a fight. 

"Is there a reason you came to murder me in my bed?" 

"There's someone in the house," Jaehyun whispers. 

Sangyeon isn't sure if he is still half-asleep or not. Someone already was in their house. Of course they weren't working alone. 

"Do you have a plan?" 

"It's a Creker someone. They're downstairs. I was trying to warn you but—" Jaehyun pauses and searches for Sangyeon's hands in the dark. He feels each of Sangyeon’s fingers in turn and makes a dissatisfied sound. "Do you always take your ring off to sleep or is it just since tonight?" 

"I always take it off."

Jaehyun looses Sangyeon’s hands. "Is that really a good idea?" 

"Does that matter? Why do you think they're here?" 

"Extraction," Jaehyun says. "They must be done with us."

But that is completely different to what Sangyeon had been told during the cleanup. He can't imagine what might have changed in the handful of hours since Chaekyung and her team left, yet Jaehyun says there is someone inside their house. Sangyeon doesn't even have a moment to ask what is wrong when Jaehyun sits up and sniffs loudly because he can smell it too. Burning. 

It isn't fair because Creker should have warned them that something like this was coming, and Sangyeon would have loved the opportunity to get all of his things in order but he has made himself too comfortable in this slice of suburban paradise because the scent of starving heat is enough for Sangyeon to realise that he has collected too much material sentiment. 

Sangyeon leaps out of his bed, shoves Jaehyun out of the way and rushes downstairs. The crackling of demise is already too loud and by the time he reaches the bottom of the staircase the air is distorting with smog. This is too fast, there was no warning and something this sudden is impossible. 

Sangyeon pulls his T-shirt over the lower half of his face and crouches low as he makes his way towards the kitchen. Whoever Creker sent is too good at their job where speed is concerned; no house fire would devour this much so quickly, but as he scuttles through the bending air Sangyeon wonders whether this will be immediately identified as arson. Not that Sangyeon needs to worry about that. He doesn't need to worry about Jaehyun yelling for him either. 

A wall of heat hits him as he passes by the living room and that is enough sign that the fire is already chewing its way through that room, the crackles of enjoyment and the popping of the skeletons of melted furniture taunting Sangyeon to come and see what is left of this life he had started to believe himself. The dining room is also screaming, begging for Sangyeon to put an end to the relentless advance of gluttonous flames that spew around the weakening panels of the door, but that room was almost the scene of a crime and Sangyeon is happy to have that possibility purified by destruction. But the spread of fire makes Sangyeon wary of the results of this venture downstairs. 

He can only grab one thing and it isn't going to be any of the belongings he brought when he moved in. On the kitchen counter he finds the pile of drawings his class handed in to him that afternoon. They are all untouched despite the flames crawling across the walls and pushing to melt their way through the stainless steel fixtures. The fragile paper is still intact, every drawing that his class had put pieces of their souls into. Sangyeon grips the stack of pictures tight, tighter when hands wrap around his arms. 

"What are you doing?" Jaehyun yells over the sound of splintering, cracking, and melting of the impending flames. 

"The kids," Sangyeon says redundantly. Jaehyun's face sets and he doesn't say anything else, he just squints through the smoke to seek a safe route. The back door had already been blocked with chairs pulled from the dining room that were already nothing more than kindling, so they already had fewer options than they should. Sangyeon’s voice is too quiet when he asks, "What happened at the front?" 

Jaehyun somehow hears him. He shakes his head. That is answer enough. So they have the kitchen window. 

Sangyeon had always liked the windows in the kitchen, sash windows which slide upwards with miniature rectangular panes of glass tessellated into the pattern of domestic daydreams. But the design isn't all that practical as Jaehyun finds the largest of the cooking pots and bashes away at the window fruitlessly. Nonetheless Sangyeon resigns himself to this being their best option. 

There were firearms hidden away anywhere Sangyeon had thought to be convenient but everything Sangyeon had stored in this safe part of the kitchen has vanished. And he realises that the disappearance of the gun in the car wasn't a careless accident. Before Sangyeon had the need to call for a team Creker had begun their cleanup. 

Sangyeon needs to do something. Jaehyun's energy is flagging as great coughs heave through his chest and the momentum of his arms swinging the pot at the window is hardly scuffing the glass. 

"Jaehyun, stop," Sangyeon shouts. He tucks the drawings he recovered into his waistband and does the only thing that he thinks will work. He crouches to one of the cupboards at the floor level and tries to find the catches in the hinges. 

So far he has only ever been able to take the cupboard door off by accident, and it has been an inconvenience every time, but this is one defect that is sure to be in his favour. 

After fiddling around with the hinges the door falls from the cupboard with a thunk that still doesn't get Jaehyun's attention. But he flinches away when Sangyeon reaches out a hand to stop his relentless attempts to help them escape. 

The skin of Jaehyun’s arm is tacky and raw and the residual memory of the contact makes Sangyeon’s stomach lurch. Sangyeon is an idiot. Jaehyun stands cautiously as he coughs, half retching from the smoke. But Sangyeon decides to delay his guilt for a moment longer. 

The cupboard door works well to smash through the window panes and the sleek wooden slats holding them in place. 

Jaehyun pushes Sangyeon to climb onto the counter and out through the gap on the window. Even if Jaehyun is hurt, Sangyeon knows neither of them will achieve much by squabbling over politeness. Sangyeon makes sure to clear as many shards of glass as possible when he crosses through the window and he can't help but worry about anything harming Jaehyun further. 

Once they're both outside they circle around the house. The back gate releases them easily despite Sangyeon’s suspicions that the route would have been impeded, but Creker doesn't intend for them to die. The goal is to ensure they can't come back here, they can't continue lives that aren't theirs. 

Standing on the lawn in nothing but pyjamas, time speeds by too quickly. The house shouldn't be consumed so rapidly yet Sangyeon is watching a life he almost convinced himself that he deserved char into retributional ashes. 

Jaehyun is trembling beside Sangyeon, halfway between distraught and livid as his face is licked by the light cast by fire engulfing their home. 

"So this is it?" Sangyeon asks quietly. His voice is filled with tremors. He already knows how he is feeling himself. This isn't much of a surprise to him, but Jaehyun glances at Sangyeon, devoid of any of the usual emotion he has pasted onto his face for the world to see. This is different, rage curling up at the corners so that the dense below is exposed. 

Sangyeon wants to apologise but he can't make those particular words come out. An apology won't fix anything anyway. It certainly won't fix the finality of Sangyeon realising that maybe he should have let himself enjoy what they had before Creker decided that their role in this was over. 

"Sangyeon, Jaehyun! Let's get you away from here!" Haseul's voice is frantic as her hand closes around Sangyeon’s wrist. It would be a better idea to do as she says, but Sangyeon doesn't want to find out what life is like when he steps off this plot of land for good. 

Sangyeon wishes he had said earlier this evening that he loves Jaehyun, that he has for a long while. He wishes he had taken a chance amidst the pieces of their pretence and admitted to his feelings long before now. He'd take Jaehyun falling out of love or changing his mind over this reentry to reality. 

Sangyeon wants his lie back. Sangyeon wants the false marriage and the teaching job and the evenings of coming home to someone he loves and the daily disagreement over whether they should get a dog. But Haseul is trying to be a good neighbour and she is trying to pull them further away from the triumphant roaring of their lives falling apart. 

Perhaps if this was real they could be glad to escape with their lives. It is only a house. Except without this house there is nowhere to continue their deceit. They have nothing. 

"I called the fire brigade," Haseul says as she leads them across the street to stand on her front lawn. She keeps shifting her weight between her feet awkwardly as she glances around at the neighbours along the street who have ventured from their beds to see what has happened. This isn't her fault but Sangyeon can't bring himself to tell her to stop worrying. "What happened?" 

"We don't know," Jaehyun says, voice steady even though he is still wearing the difficult to read expression from before. "I don't know what happened. But I was having trouble sleeping so I am just lucky that I was able to wake Sangyeon up. The smoke detector never went off." 

Maybe Sangyeon is wrong. 

"The smoke detector didn't go off?" Sangyeon repeats. Jaehyun nods grimly. Even with the jobs they are in it really was lucky that Jaehyun was awake. 

"How is that possible?" Haseul asks. "The smoke and CO2 detectors are wired into the mains electricity supply. There isn't a way to prevent the alarms from ringing."

Jaehyun hesitates. He has an idea but he's right to keep that quiet around Haseul. She is their target, after all, not someone they should trust with things they have been sworn to obfuscate from the world. 

"It's a mystery," Jaehyun says. And then he passes something to Sangyeon. Warmed by the heat of Jaehyun’s palm, Sangyeon’s ring sits unassuming in his hand. 

Sangyeon slides the ring onto the fourth finger of his left hand. For at least a few moments longer he can convince himself that he is allowed to live like this. He allows Jaehyun to hold his hand, squeezes reassuringly at the barely-extant pressure, and pretends he has the right to stay with Jaehyun when he gets taken to hospital for his burns. 

Chapter Text

Sangyeon can't quite work out what went so wrong with the assignment given to him and Jaehyun that they were prematurely pulled from the mission entirely. Whatever happened wasn't so bad that either have been scrapped from the agency books altogether. 

Sangyeon is given assignment after assignment: rescue X, recover Y, replace Z, neutralise A, plant B, guard C. All he can work out is that he is being set busywork. Creker wouldn't usually take on tasks like these but they need something to keep a field agent like Sangyeon occupied. Probably Jaehyun too, not that Sangyeon has heard anything about him lately, at least until the poisoning case has been closed so that bigger and better cases can be accepted. 

Sangyeon is staring up at the sky, a deep azure which soothes Sangyeon’s chest as he looks through his sunglasses. It is a good day. He thinks this mission will go well. 

Maybe the mojito is too much but sitting at the outdoor seating for the bar across the street from the tower block he has been watching for two days, Sangyeon feels confident. He can take things easy. 

Sangyeon’s ring vibrates where it sits on his left hand, jolts him with the pulse of an open loop. It has only been a month, but the feeling is already too unfamiliar. But it must mean something. It cannot possibly be the result of idle fiddling. Except Sangyeon doesn't have the same phone from before. He doesn't have a way to contact Jaehyun. So all he can do is glance around and pretend he isn't hoping for the impossible. 

Nothing. Of course. Sangyeon takes a sip of his mojito and keeps watching the doorman of the building across the street. But a waitress moves into his line of sight. Sangyeon smiles, polite as ever. 

"Hi."

"Good afternoon," the waitress says. She plucks a glass from her tray and places it on the table. "A gentleman inside bought this drink for you."

Sangyeon smiles, but he shouldn't accept a drink from a stranger. An occupational hazard. Anything could be dissolved in the glass. 

"Unfortunately I won't be able to accept this drink. But thank you. Let me give you a tip." 

The waitress refuses, only to be polite, but Sangyeon hands over some money and the waitress doesn't leave. She hesitates before slipping something out of her apron. 

"The gentleman also wanted me to pass this to you. Should I return this?" 

Despite the fair weather, the utter perfection of the sky above, Sangyeon’s chest freezes. The crumpled napkin looks even more like rubbish than it did in May, but Sangyeon wouldn't make the mistake of disregarding it so easily. He takes the napkin flower from the waitress's hand. 

"No, I need this. Thank you."

The waitress looks mildly concerned but she doesn't say anything about it before she leaves with the drink. 

There are a limited number of things this flower could indicate. And Sangyeon is glad of that. Even if this isn't the original and someone Sangyeon knows has less craftsmanship than a six-year-old, the possibilities aren't infinite. 

With the napkin flower in hand, Sangyeon can only get back to work for a moment longer. Someone sits in the vacant seat across the table from Sangyeon. The someone Sangyeon has been expecting despite his determination not to get his hopes up. 

Sangyeon laughs. "What are you doing here?" 

"Am I not allowed? I think you forgot to send the divorce papers."

Sangyeon can barely think of anything to say. He has learnt his lesson from before. He isn't going to keep pretending that his dreams aren't shaped like the man sitting opposite him with his legs crossed. But he doesn't know how to be honest like this. 

"How did you know that I was here?" Sangyeon asks. 

"I asked around. Or I am a really good spy. You choose which one you believe."

"Who did you ask?" 

Jaehyun sighs, resigned to the smile spreading across his face. "You're awful. I told myself this was going to be all business but I can't even keep a promise like that."

"All business is boring," Sangyeon says as he tucks the flower into his blazer pocket. "I'm sorry about what I said before. I was wrong. I don't want to lose you again."

"No," Jaehyun says quickly. "You don't need to say anything like that. It's fine. I just thought you'd be the only one I could come to. Sooyoung came to see me."

Sangyeon tries not to let his disappointment show. Perhaps the flower means nothing after all. 

"What did she come to you about?" 

Jaehyun slides his phone across the table and leans in. This almost feels like old times even though Sangyeon isn't sure whether he is allowed to think that right now. 

"Well do you remember when I was working at the embassy?" 

"That was literally a month ago, so yes."

"Whatever," Jaehyun blusters, "Did I ever tell you about Wong Kahei? Her family have asylum in the embassy because her father is facing extradition for treason or something."

"I don't think you did. It sounds like something that you should have at least told Creker though."

Jaehyun pulls a face. "Shouldn't they already know things like that? Anyway, she was actually a really funny girl, I can't believe I never told you about her. But I always felt sorry for her for not being able to leave until a month before your fake birthday. It turned out that she was always sneaking out to meet friends and I told her that we could do with more agents like her at Creker."

"How is it that every person you have ever met knows that you are a spy?" Sangyeon asks. 

Jaehyun glances up at Sangyeon. For all the smiles he shares with Sangyeon, he is perhaps a shade too honest with his expressions at times. Jaehyun is tired. Sleepless nights and endless days have worn hollowness beneath Jaehyun's eyes. Even if he tries to sound enthusiastic about his findings, and even if he tries to smile at Sangyeon like they're in on the same joke, the exhaustion is dulling the edge to his usual shine. 

"Why have you still been working on this assignment after we got removed from the mission?" Sangyeon asks quietly. 

Jaehyun's expression shutters. "I am on leave anyway because of my arm. And I would rather be trying to put an end to this instead of becoming a criminal for hire like you. And Sooyoung asked me to help out."

Sangyeon doesn't rise to the barb about his current occupation. He can't exactly refute it anyway. He just unlocks Jaehyun's phone and reads the message Sooyoung had sent. And her request sounds far more noble than being a thief to jostle petty squabbles of the affluent. 

"How does your friend Sooyoung know that someone is going to get framed for the assassinations?" 

"It's in the message," Jaehyun huffs. "And don't say 'friend' like that like you don't think she is my friend at all. Anyway, she's our client now so you need to be nicer to her."

Sangyeon laughs. "I didn't expect you to be so proper about this. Is she actually paying you and everything?" 

Jaehyun shakes his head and swipes through to the notes app on his phone. "I'm not doing this for money. We have to do right by people who need our help. And off the record, Sooyoung said she could help me out with getting a real job."

Sangyeon can't laugh at that. He and Jaehyun have known each other for a while but perhaps the length of time never meant all too much if Sangyeon had happily thought that this was Jaehyun's dream job. Jaehyun has a zest for adventure and a flair for committing to all sorts of roles just because he knows he is good at what he does. It has been a good fit until now. 

"Are you paying attention?" Jaehyun asks impatiently. 

"You don't want to do this anymore?" 

Jaehyun looks uncomfortable but Sangyeon isn't sure what the point was in mentioning something he didn't want to talk about. 

"This isn't the sort of job where you can guarantee that you'll get to enjoy your retirement," Jaehyun shrugs. "We were stupid enough to get stuck in a job where we can't escape in any of the normal ways. If Sooyoung says she can help me out I'm not going to take that for granted."

Sangyeon swallows back all the other words that had started gathering on his tongue. He doesn't have the right to say anything to the sincerity in Jaehyun's voice. No matter what Sangyeon is feeling about this (disappointment and realisation emulsifying reluctantly in his stomach and seeping into the mojito he had been enjoying only moments earlier) he doesn't have the right to say a word. Why should he get to insist on his own opinion when this has nothing to do with him and he hadn't cared about Jaehyun's stance previously. 

"Sorry. I'm listening. I'm glad you have something like that lined up."

Jaehyun doesn't say anything to that, just continues explaining what Sooyoung has told him and what he plans to do about it. 

Sangyeon gives up on his assignment. Perhaps the world would be better without him planting evidence of corporate espionage in the offices of a very rich man at the behest of an even richer man. Sangyeon doesn't formally notify Creker because he still has two chances left to fail missions this year before he gets called in for a meeting with HR. He can just spend the remainder of the year working harder not to get distracted by pretty people asking ugly favours. 

This favour isn't as ugly as it could be. Jaehyun only wants to help out a friend and make a better life for himself. What sort of person would Sangyeon be if he refused something as simple as this? 

Rather than checking in with his coordinator, Sangyeon accompanies Jaehyun to speak directly to their new client. 

Sooyoung's Yeouido office rises high above the city and the meeting room she has Jaehyun and Sangyeon come to offers the sort of panoramic view that could only be enjoyed by people blind to the toiling of people too tired to lift their heads to look up at the monsters staring out. 

Jaehyun is practically pressed against the glass from the second Sooyoung tells them to sit down and rushes off to help out a colleague. 

"Is this what you want?" Sangyeon asks. Watching Jaehyun like this is strange. He wouldn't have imagined his colleague to have aspirations like this, let alone be enraptured by the teasing glimpses of them. 

"I'm tired," Jaehyun says. "Having a normal job wouldn't be a bad thing. It would make a nice change, don't you think? Actually I don't want to hear your thoughts on this."

"What's wrong with my thoughts?" Sangyeon asks. 

"They don't matter," Jaehyun says. He turns away from the window, looks over at Sangyeon, and almost smiles. "I'm not happy anymore. When I was with you, when we were pretending, I realised what sort of life I want. I want a job that won't kill me, and I want to come home every night to the person I decide to spend the rest of my life with. I want to grow old together with someone and live a life boring enough that we get excited over the ending to a drama or the supermarket stocking a new brand of olive oil."

Sangyeon could laugh. He doesn't think Jaehyun's dreams are particularly funny but hearing the words wound something tight inside Sangyeon and he needs to release it somehow. But he can't make himself smile and he can't even part his lips to make a sound. 

Jaehyun walks away from the window, almost agonised in the moment he loses his connection with the window. He sits down at the large conference table, chooses the seat right beside Sangyeon. He doesn't say anything and he doesn't look like he expects to hear anything. Maybe they should sit together in silence 

Or maybe not. 

"I was wrong," Sangyeon says. His job is all about discretion yet he can't help bringing this up where someone else could walk in on them. "When I said things between us weren't real. I was lying because I am terrified of… Are you listening to me?" 

Jaehyun shrugs. "It doesn't matter now anyway. We can work this one last job together. Unofficially." 

Sangyeon can't help but stare at the ring sitting on Jaehyun's hand. He thought it had meant something, that they were still wearing these relics of their old mission for something more solid than nostalgia. He doesn't know whether he should stop wearing his own ring if it means as little as this. 

"Is that it? After we finish this, will that be the end of it? Will we ever be together again?" 

"Together?" Jaehyun's voice is light and his thumb strokes over the gold of his ring. He offers Sangyeon a bland smile. "It's probably better not to think about the future like that right now. We need to pay attention when we're briefed." 

Sangyeon smiles. His face aches in tandem with the twisting in his chest. That is how things are. There is no point in pushing the issue. Jaehyun isn't going to entertain that. He was the one who was pretending too well and now Sangyeon is stuck wishing he could go back. 

They can't. 

Sooyoung looks sharp as she returns to the meeting room. She has a folder tucked beneath her arm and she smiles at Jaehyun as she closes the door behind her and turns the dial to turn the glass windows to the corridor opaque. She sits opposite Sangyeon and folds her hands on the table. 

"Thanks again for coming. Jaehyun, you'll be glad to know that things are looking good after your interview. You'll probably be starting with us in around a month. Maybe a little longer if you still haven't found anywhere to live nearby." 

In his periphery, Sangyeon sees the way Jaehyun leans forwards and smiles at his friend. "I won't get an office with a view like this though." 

"Why would I make room in a good office for you when you'll probably get itchy feet in no time. Sitting at a desk all day can be hard. It'll be a shock to your system." 

Jaehyun shakes his head. "I really mean it when I say that part of my life is over." 

Sooyoung raises her eyebrows and smiles almost slyly. "Are you interested in working with us?" 

"I'm not sure what you even do here," Sangyeon admits. "Money Laundering?" 

"Cute. No," Sooyoung sighs. "Wealth management. When Jaehyun earns his accreditation, he'll get more benefits than the initial package. It's not for everyone." 

"The other reason we're here might be more Sangyeon’s speed," Jaehyun offers. 

Sooyoung shrugs and clears her throat as she flips open the folder on the table and shuffles hand-outs to Sangyeon and Jaehyun. "Your initial mission to spy on Haseul has thankfully ended, but that doesn't mean Creker is out of our hair just yet." 

Unease has settled over Sangyeon’s shoulders the entire time he has been here, however this sensation is only deepening. "I'm sorry? How much do you know? Jaehyun, did you tell her everything?" 

"There was a lot that I didn't need to tell," Jaehyun says quickly. "Don't interrupt." 

"Thank you." Sooyoung's tone is clipped and she tucks her hair behind her ear, eyes scanning the page in front of her before she looks up across the table. "From what I understand, your mission was to spy on Haseul to find out intel about the location of her parents who had been consulting about political assassinations using neural toxins. That's what I was told by Jaehyun. What I knew before I even understood why Jaehyun was around was markedly different. Creker were contracted by a powerful man who wants to guarantee his rise to power. His proposed policies are all very nice: more worker rights, transparency and equality throughout government, abolition of barriers to social mobility. Pie in the sky nonsense."

Though Sooyoung's evaluation is so dismissive, the motives of this man sound genuinely good, Sangyeon keeps his mouth shut and waits for the other shoe to drop. 

"There is an agent who I already knew from Creker. Actually she was poached from a different agency and she had connections to help out with the mission. She eliminates the people around her client's rivals. Creker are the ones behind all of the mysterious deaths."

Jaehyun doesn't look at all surprised. Some warning would have been nice. Sangyeon doesn't react. He simply breathes and nods to Sooyoung. 

"Are you saying they are playing both sides?" 

"Precisely," Sooyoung agrees. "I don't care about any of that. They can do what they want. However, my friends are too deeply involved in this. People I care about are going to get hurt and I refuse to allow that to happen. So I would firstly like you to find proof to discredit the whole scheme."

Jaehyun interjects. "Secretary Jang was never meant to die. Creker had already cleared out our house so that he couldn't die, Sangyeon. You know that's weird, right? Secretary Jang is still at Lim Youngwook's side, working as normal." 

"I don't need convincing," Sangyeon sighs. The man named Lim Youngwook isn't anyone Sangyeon knows about in too much detail, though he has seen press releases and articles of statements from a man who has had enough of the status quo. He is a rich and powerful man and he must be in pursuit of more power, whether it is for the greater good or otherwise. "I'm already here. I'm not contracted to take sides. I'll do it." 

Taking sides against his own company is difficult to swallow. In the past he has completed numerous assignments that he knows are morally ambiguous and downright reprehensible. He will do whatever is assigned to him. Right now he has no thoughts of loyalty or betrayal towards an agency that would have been better off disposing of him much earlier. 

"Good," Sooyoung says with a smile wider than the one she wore when congratulating Jaehyun on the step towards his new life. "I need you to get into the Bulgarian embassy and get my friend out of there without being detected inside or outside." 

"I have a plan worked out already," Jaehyun says. Sangyeon can do nothing but go along with it. He trusts Jaehyun as much as he can trust anyone. 

Jaehyun's plan, as vague and mysterious as it is, involves heading to the basement of, what is officially, a guesthouse. Business in the establishment is far seedier than dirty weekends but that is exactly illicit enough to tarnish the name of Lim Youngwook. They are searching for a visitor book to find proof of people making visits on the same occasions as circumstantial evidence of under-the-table dealings. 

The little cramped office is stuffy and dusty, though Sangyeon suspects he and Jaehyun could search this basement for hours without discovery. They have a lot of time to get through. 

"So I was doing a bit of snooping around," Jaehyun says conversationally, "and I thought it was great that after the conversation, Creker wouldn't hold anything against me. I have a chance to live like a normal person, right? They'd create a cover story for the time I was here and give me a good reference if my future employer got in contact. I felt like I could relax but I was also on sick leave so I was bored. And I got curious and you know how lax Haknyeon is about data security, and for some reason he has access to the HR computer drives, so I was just going through his computer and looking at stuff like embarrassing agent profile information, you know, the usual."

Jaehyun doesn't sound as though he is doing very much searching so Sangyeon keeps his place in the filing cabinet with his hand on the last file he has flicked through. And he turns to look at Jaehyun just as the gun is cocked. The blind barrel is designed to make people panic. Sangyeon feels like he could panic right now. This doesn't feel like a joke as it had been all the other times Jaehyun has stared down at him like this. 

"Was the Sooyoung thing a lie?" Sangyeon asks evenly. He looks away from Jaehyun. He has to look away because he doesn't want to see the forced chill in Jaehyun's eyes. "Was finding me actually an assignment?" 

"Do you really think I would take an assignment like that?" 

"So you're pointing a gun at me for your own personal pleasure?" 

Sangyeon’s question tears out his mouth too fast for him to temper it. He can't hide himself well enough here. He gives up on his search. He slams the drawer shut and leans heavily against the filing cabinet. He has been an idiot all along. Things might not be so different if Sangyeon had let himself truly fall in love. His chest might ache more but it would still be the same. 

"I was looking through the agent files and having a good old laugh at the agency KPIs and the statistical profiles of each agent," Jaehyun says as though the exchange between himself and Sangyeon had never taken place. "And I noticed something strange marked in some of the profiles but I didn't pay it any mind because it was probably something boring, right? Except I saw my profile and it didn't have that weird symbol anywhere, but I had already searched through yours and you did have the symbol. So I felt like I might as well ask. Do you want to know what Haknyeon said it meant?"

Sangyeon does not particularly want to know. All the same, the gun is even more persuasive than Jaehyun himself. Sangyeon lifts his head and asks, "What did the symbol mean?" 

"It meant Creker had earmarked you for a burn notice. I had heard that some agencies do that for their best agents because they wouldn't want those assets getting into anyone else's hands. Have you heard that? But you have to remember, I have seen both of our personnel files, Sangyeon, so I have seen that my statistics are better than yours, and my appraisals and development reviews are scored higher than yours. So I would hazard that you don't qualify as one of Creker's best agents."

Sangyeon sighs. This isn't really anything to be so upset about, but Sangyeon supposes he isn't allowed to be the judge of that considering he foolishly came here unarmed. 

"Thanks for your scathing review," Sangyeon says. 

"Shut up. Do you remember Juyeon?" Jaehyun asks. 

"Yes, I remember Juyeon. You also just worked with him until a month ago. Just like old times."

"Great. He was probably one of the best agents we've ever seen, right? But he decided this wasn't for him. He didn't want to die. No burn notice. But Younghoon, I looked through his file and he is another one with a burn notice. They actually wrote a lot of stuff in his file. If I was running a spy agency and one of my agents knew as much as Younghoon knows I would have disposed of them already. So what about you, Sangyeon? What do you know?"

"I don't know anything."

"Don't lie to me, Sangyeon," Jaehyun says, voice too loud and desperate. He licks his lips and steadies his arm. He says, "I just want to know what is going on."

"You don't bring a gun just to ask a question."

"You think so?" Jaehyun asks, false humour pulling at his lips. He approaches, clumsy in his haste, and presses Sangyeon against the filing cabinet. The muzzle of gun, cold and dense against Sangyeon’s temple. This close, Sangyeon can see the strain in Jaehyun's face. "I think you're wrong about that, Sangyeon, do you want to know why? You're a special case so you've spent all this time never giving anyone a straight answer and when it comes to even easy things like this we need to make sure we have some guarantee of honesty."

"You. Not 'anyone'. You are the only one who thinks I am not giving any proper answers," Sangyeon says. Jaehyun flusters and Sangyeon adds, "I understand the engineering of this situation but I'd prefer you didn't hold a gun to my head when you're so obviously upset."

"I'm upset? Seeing as you know everything, take a guess and tell me why I might be upset."

Sangyeon doesn't want to make any guesses. As ignorantly happy he had been just for that moment when Jaehyun had found him, Sangyeon has his own reasons to be upset. He isn't about to expose all of that for the sake of placating Jaehyun. 

"I don't know. Why are you upset?" 

"I love you, Sangyeon. The stupid kind of love where I would die for you. But I don't want to. I want to live, Sangyeon, and I want you to live too. Ideally we could live together just like our last mission because it turns out that is everything I could have wanted. Just a small wish to be with you. But if you ask me to die, I'll do it. I love you."

Jaehyun is breathing too heavily, like he is forcing away the stress of the threat, like he is sure Sangyeon would ask something like that. Sangyeon slips his hands around Jaehyun's wrist and hates how easily his arm moves away with the weapon. 

"I'd never ask something like that," Sangyeon says quietly. 

"You wouldn't? You wouldn't ask me not to leave the agency? Because that is the same thing as asking me to die."

Sangyeon hadn't realised that was the real question here. Because he does want to ask Jaehyun not to leave. Sangyeon doesn't want things to change and he doesn't want to lose someone who let him do all the things he would have liked to do with real love. But this is just a job and it isn't worth a life. 

"I won't ask you," Sangyeon says. 

Jaehyun sags against Sangyeon’s shoulder. Sangyeon loosens Jaehyun's grip on the gun and doesn't say anything about the way Jaehyun's hands tremble as they find security in Sangyeon. 

"I was so happy," Jaehyun says, "When I spoke to HR and our team managers and everyone said they would be happy for me to move on. I could really get a fresh start. That was exciting, but I wanted to ask you to come with me. Why can't you come with me?" 

Sangyeon didn't know that Creker would readily get rid of him for good if he ever wanted to leave but he understands why. There are any number of reasons that the burn notice might be invoked but there is only one reason he would have earned the status when Jaehyun gets to walk away as though this was just any job. 

"I made a big mistake," Sangyeon says quickly. It doesn't remove the sting from the admission to say it any faster. "Regicide. I was careless and messed up a hit. And the agent taking lead on the assignment was also a casualty. That was the memorial that was held last year. And Creker covered it all up for me. I don't even know why. They could have cut me loose then, relieved themselves of a burden, but they helped me out and told me that I owed them." 

Jaehyun practically whimpers. Sangyeon has never seen Jaehyun cry. Being upset is one thing but Jaehyun has always maintained that last illusion of control. It hurts, even without seeing, so Sangyeon holds Jaehyun tighter just for his own reassurance. 

Sangyeon had cried right away when he realised that he had killed the person he was sent to protect, cried even harder when he found Agent Betta lifeless all because of him. There had been so much at stake but Creker extracted Sangyeon, planted the evidence of something wholly different, and told Sangyeon that none of it really mattered anyway. They never mentioned that they would keep hold of him forever in exchange for protection but it is enough to make the situation square. 

Everything makes sense. The job is always about pushing until everything makes sense. Both Sangyeon and Jaehyun must know that. An answer being upsetting does not change the fact that it is the clear and logical conclusion. But Sangyeon can't deny it in the same way he can't let this end with Jaehyun holding onto the feelings that the result has caused. 

Sangyeon holds onto Jaehyun and pretends that he has all the time in the world. 

"It sounds nice," Sangyeon says quietly. "If I could go back and just be a better agent, I wouldn't have even hesitated. I would have gone with you. The mission where we were married felt like a dream. Thank you for being with me and giving that much of yourself to me."

Despite the intention to comfort Jaehyun, Sangyeon feels like crying himself. Admitting things like this is strange because he shouldn't be expected to do it. People fall in love all the time and they're allowed to because the connections forged in their lifetimes are their own. Sangyeon can't say so much for this particular link. 

Sangyeon wouldn't have even met Jaehyun without Creker but that doesn't seem like a fair trade when Sangyeon had to give up the life he lived before Creker just to meet a man he isn't allowed to truly know. 

"If you could come with me now, would you do it?" Jaehyun asks, muffled into Sangyeon’s shoulder. 

Sangyeon sighs, allows his fingers to linger in Jaehyun's hair as he idly strokes through the silk of it. Jaehyun is just making things harder for both of them. But Sangyeon won't get a chance like this again. He might as well feel the pain that will bite him regardless. 

"I would. I would do anything to go wherever you wanted me to."

"And all this is just because you killed a king?" 

"You make it sound like nothing," Sangyeon smiles. "Heir apparent. Not king. Still as bad as it could get for me with the blood of an agent on my hands."

"But there really isn't anything else?" Jaehyun asks, insistent despite the fact he is clinging to Sangyeon. 

"There is nothing else."

"Do you love me? Do you trust me?" 

These are the bad kinds of questions. Sangyeon can only answer 'yes' if he is being honest but parting won't become any easier because of it. 

"I love you, Jaehyun."

Jaehyun lifts his head and looks at Sangyeon, not upset at all, he never cried. Jaehyun's eyes are too sharp. He is too focused and it is good in a profession like spying but right now Sangyeon finds it unnerving. Something pricks at Sangyeon, maybe in his chest, maybe in his throat, maybe even in the column of his spine. It feels like diluted fear and that in itself is something for a dead man to get used to. 

"You might live to hate me," Jaehyun says quietly as he supports the deadening weight of Sangyeon’s useless body. 

Chapter Text

Sangyeon’s body is heavy. He takes stock of the situation with his eyes closed. He can't feel any physical injuries and aside from some fuzziness in his head and that is enough for him to decide he is fine. But he doesn't remember going to sleep. 

Sangyeon waits but he can't hear much aside from the buzzing of his own mind. Perhaps there is a small clatter of delicate metal and the intermittent beeping of an indignant object but nothing that would really confirm where Sangyeon is. Somewhere by the sea, he assumes from the sharpness of the air against the woolliness at the back of his throat, but he wouldn't even be able to begin planning his escape with the little information he has from these moments of wakefulness. 

Before even gaining any visual information, Sangyeon is discovered by whoever is keeping him here. Footsteps rush from the room and return accompanied by heavier footfalls of a larger accomplice. Being outnumbered is a certainty. But there is no point in being afraid of success. 

He carefully opens his eyes, lids too slow and heavy for Sangyeon to be entirely happy with his situation. The ceiling above is neutral, almost white but a tinge of something else endures the sunlight rippling above. The lack of distinctive view above is as unsettling as the bland walls at his peripheral vision. Sangyeon could be anywhere at all so he tries not to dwell on the fact that he is destined to get lost in the monotony of his surroundings. 

Sangyeon can handle disorientation. He leaps up out of the bed and right into Jaehyun's arms. Sangyeon is tethered at several points with the fragile cords of sensors stuck to his chest. 

"Oh my gosh, I thought you were lying to me again," Jaehyun sighs as he grips Sangyeon tight enough to help him stand. 

"I wasn't lying any of the other times," another voice says indignantly. "It can be difficult to tell sometimes, that's all."

"It sounds like you're telling me that I shouldn't have believed you when you said you had tested the formula out at this strength," Jaehyun says. He helps lower Sangyeon back to the bed to sit on the edge. Even with his head spinning, Sangyeon can feel the featherlight touch of Jaehyun’s hand stroking his back through what Sangyeon unfortunately realises is a very oversized t-shirt. He isn't wearing anything else and considering the situation he has a lot of questions. 

Sangyeon can't say anything intelligible but that doesn't bother Jaehyun. 

"So I lied to you. I didn't need your help. I already worked everything out. I just—" Jaehyun pauses and he turns to the other person to ask, "Can he hear me properly? Or can he understand me? He looks kind of vacant, which is scaring me a bit."

Sangyeon reaches for Jaehyun's hand, resting idly on his knee, but his depth perception is somehow off or perhaps his arms aren't reaching exactly as Sangyeon intends. He doesn't like this at all. 

"He woke up from death a couple of minutes ago. He isn't going to be totally lucid for a while."

Jaehyun glances back at Sangyeon and grabs his hand tightly, saves him from reaching uselessly into empty air. He kisses the back of Sangyeon’s hand and smiles. "Hi. I'm sorry, alright?" 

Sangyeon can't even ask why Jaehyun is apologising despite having some thoughts on that. Whatever sound he makes causes Jaehyun to frown. 

"Keep him steady, let me check him over."

"Are you a doctor now?" Jaehyun asks. 

"I was good enough when you needed help doing your research to play at being a nurse." 

The person who is allegedly good enough to be a doctor is a young woman with focused eyes. She crouches before Sangyeon and frowns at him. She asks him to follow the lid of a pen, and the tip of her finger, and then she shines a light in Sangyeon’s eyes. 

Jaehyun helps move Sangyeon around so that the woman can take Sangyeon’s temperature, check his pulse, take his blood pressure, and do some less straightforward things which must be to test muscle strength. Not that Sangyeon’s lack of muscle strength was obvious from the way he is relying on Jaehyun already. 

The woman moves out of sight and Jaehyun smiles kindly at Sangyeon again. "Is he okay? He can't talk back but can he understand me properly?" 

"Maybe. You'll just have to talk and see if he can remember tomorrow."

Jaehyun sighs. "Sangyeon, I'm going to ask you a question tomorrow or the day after. I already asked you if you'd like to come with me but I am going to give you another chance to back out. I love you, but I don't want you to be forced into anything."

Sangyeon isn't sure what that means. He would say this state of dependency is a lot like being forced. Of course he can't say much at all. 

"Are you sure he will be fine tomorrow, Jungeun?" Jaehyun asks. 

Maybe Sangyeon is trying to be too sensitive about this but a name from a Creker file can't crop up coincidentally. 

"I know, baby," Jaehyun says as he holds Sangyeon’s hands down. "She's Haseul's Jungeun. This is what I have been doing when I was on sick leave from Creker. Please don't be mad until tomorrow or at least until you have enough coordination to hit me properly."

Sangyeon freezes. Since living together, playing at being married, Jaehyun hasn't said anything this close to resignation. He isn't saying it but he sounds almost as though he has given up — not on everything, just on the life Sangyeon had let him hope for even whilst snooping around for Sooyoung. 

"Please don't say anything right now," Jaehyun says quietly. "Do you want me to get Jungeun to explain?" 

"What if I don't want to explain?" Jungeun asks from behind them. The question makes Jaehyun's shoulders slump. 

"I don't think you'd like the way I would tell it," he points out. "Just tell Sangyeon so he can at least see your side of things."

"There are some things that I will tell in ways that you won't like," Jungeun retorts. She reappears with a small smile on her face and she sits stiffly on the chair at the bedside. 

After the series of tests which made up Sangyeon’s examination, he has worked out that Jungeun is simply good at repeating what she has seen. She looks as though she is doing a good job of replicating calm in her face before she glances warily at Jaehyun. And her eyes settle on Sangyeon, not entirely peacefully. 

"My name is Kim Jungeun. It is nice to meet you, Sangyeon. Haseul has told me a lot about you. And then your Jaehyun has filled in all the other parts." Jungeun's lips pull into a hesitant smile and she presses her hands between her knees, nervous. Jaehyun is looking at her fondly, perhaps encouragement in spite of words she doesn't particularly want to say. She begins speaking a few times and restarts when the tightness in her throat is too resistant against whatever must be said. But she eventually manages. "I suppose you could say that I am an apprentice. Broadly, my field of research is toxicology so I was glad of the chance to work under Haseul's parents. I was able to learn about different disciplines and I integrated their work into my own research which was to discover exactly how much of certain compounds a person could take without the effects becoming too adverse. 

"I won't bore you with the details and I doubt you'd retain all the information—" 

"I thought you said that he would be fine."

"He probably will be, Jaehyun, but he was on a ventilator for two days and it took him another day to gain consciousness. He's going to be fuzzy on some details for a little bit."

Sangyeon deems that this is as good a time as any to interrupt and Jungeun only seems mildly irritated by the slurred groan that forces its way out of Sangyeon’s mouth. 

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're trying to say."

Sangyeon knows Jaehyun would have just as little idea but he still turns to seek assistance. 

"I'm so sorry," Jaehyun says. He squeezes Sangyeon’s hand tightly. "I was wrong to not even ask but I didn't want to lose the opportunity. And I completely understand if you don't want to go through this again but if you really want to come with me, you'd have to do it."

"If he says he will do it now, don't hold him to it," Jungeun cuts in quickly. "It might not be a real death but it is enough strain on the body that it might as well be."

Jaehyun nods, shoulders rounded with reluctance and eyes steadily dropping to avoid contact with anyone else. 

"I know. I will wait until he's lucid and I can be sure he understands."

Jungeun anticipates what Sangyeon wants to know this time. "Someone bought some of my research files and commissioned me to go a step further with my research. Haseul's parents helped me out. I was scared. They were consulting with your agency to locate the creator of this form of poison but they realised it was my research and they worked out who had commissioned my research and used it. "I think I was lucky that Haseul's ex has enough money to help us go into hiding. She has really been a lifesaver these past few months. Who else but Sooyoung could have set up this home with a lab downstairs and this room up here with a ventilator and everything?" Jungeun chuckles redundantly but Sangyeon supposes she isn't seeing any funny aspects to this at all. 

"There's a very rich man out there who wants power. He wants to oust a lot of the people maintaining the status quo. A big government scandal is what he wants to shift the political climate in his favour. So he is using my poisons to kill foreign officials and then he is going to frame Wong Kahei for the killings."

"She's the woman I told you about before," Jaehyun explains. "She has been living in the Bulgarian embassy for a few years with her family, but because she had been sneaking out and making friends someone has decided to use that against her."

Sangyeon is sure both Jungeun and Jaehyun are omitting something but this sounds like the beginning of a straightforward mission. Depending on the viewpoint of the client this could be a case of security measures or it could be as simple as apprehending a culprit. It looks like something that has been discussed previously. 

"Sooyoung has asked for your Jaehyun's help. She wants to catch the person who plans to hurt Kahei. Sooyoung says we should kill them. They intend to take a diluted dose of the non-lethal formulation as part of their sob-story to garner more votes. They will survive on the same day that someone else tragically dies. But Sooyoung wants that person to die by their own vain stupidity. 

"The non-lethal variety is only called that because it does not immediately affect the heart. There are still risks and the user could fall into other complications. In theory it has other neurological effects which can be countered with the antidote. What Jaehyun administered to you was a mild dose of the non-lethal formulation that Haseul's parents had initially researched."

Jungeun pauses, perhaps more for Jaehyun's benefit than anything. She looks at him as she pronounces her next words carefully. "Sooyoung wants me to give a full strength dose to the man commissioning all of this. That means the version without antidote. And I will. I can lie and tell Lim Youngwook it is the safe version but the amounts are so small that he'd never know. He's old and he might not even be able to handle it. And Sooyoung wants me to administer the non-lethal formulation to the target. Or a proxy for the target. Enough to instantly have an effect, enough to fool someone into thinking that their plan has worked. But it is stronger than this dose that you've already had. We haven't even been able to confirm the lasting effects of this dose and anything that has happened this time will be further exacerbated by a secondary dose. Other things could happen because it will be stronger. You could die."

Sangyeon is already a dead man if he tries to leave Creker. He is a dead man if something goes too far wrong on any of the missions he is assigned. He doesn't have much to lose. 

"Obviously I don't want that," Jaehyun says. "We'll think of something—" 

"You might not die. But that doesn't mean that there won't be lasting damage to cognitive function. It isn't going to do the same thing every time. It isn't going to do the same thing for everyone."

"I know," Jaehyun says tersely. "So we won't do it. We'll find another way to fake Sangyeon’s death so he won't have to go back to Creker. It will be easy, right?" 

Jungeun presses her lips together and sighs. She sits up straighter in the chair. "We should talk about this another time. At least after we have seen how Sangyeon is."

Jungeun tries to smile as she leaves but it doesn't reach her eyes. Not that Jaehyun is looking to see. He doesn't move for a while after she is gone. He just sits beside Sangyeon, his head hanging and bleakness in his profile. 

Sangyeon can't say anything right now but he can't even do anything remotely reassuring. He wants to squeeze Jaehyun's hand but he can't manage something so small. 

Jaehyun sighs, smiles at Sangyeon, small and cautious. "You should rest. Just because you can sit up and put up with me it doesn't mean anything good." 

Sangyeon doesn't have a choice as Jaehyun tucks him back into bed. Jaehyun drags the chair right up to the edge of the bed and holds Sangyeon’s hand tightly. Feeling this much is nice. Sangyeon doesn't know how long the universe will allow him to hold hands with Jaehyun but he isn't going to take this for granted. He sinks into the dull heaviness of the body that doesn't feel his own but he won't sleep until he's ready to let go of Jaehyun. 

"It's funny," Jaehyun says wryly, "I have been sitting here with you since we brought you back but it wasn't until I left for a moment that you woke up. You did this yesterday too, after we got you off the ventilator, but Jungeun couldn't give me a real answer about when you'd wake up so I went off to have a little cry and then she came to tell me you were starting to wake up."

Sangyeon could laugh if this body allowed it. 

"You're right," Jaehyun says, "I wasn't crying. What good would that do anyone? It is going to be even more useless if I cry now. I didn't really think about all of the ramifications of injecting you with something like Jungeun's formula. I am a desperate man. It is no excuse so I hope you're fine and then you can just leave me behind."

The blank unknown of unconsciousness is dragging Sangyeon down and he sinks deeper but he wants to be able to share his thoughts now more than ever. He doesn't want to leave Jaehyun. Not yet at least. 

"Are you going to sleep yet? It is probably time I get you on the catheter again and I will be too embarrassed to try if you're awake."

Hearing that is mortifying but Sangyeon’s tongue doesn't even let him protest. He is stuck with words and indistinct sounds trapped at the back of his throat as Jaehyun blinks from sight. 

A week after Sangyeon wakes up for the first time in this little house, living seems manageable. His thoughts are clogged with the deceptive sweetness of treacle as Jaehyun remains at his side constantly but even thanking him is difficult when simple phrases are obscured and then slip away too quickly on the cresting wave of honeyed sentiment. But he feels like he could be fine. Not fine enough to work as a spy but enough that he could trust a spy to fabricate his death. 

"Already you are exhibiting neural damage," Jungeun warns at the dinner table of the safe house she has been hiding in for months. "We might be able to do a lot but we don't have access to most of the things we need. You're making a rash decision and we can't even compare scans of your brain activity to evidence why this is a bad idea."

"I am happy to go through with it," Sangyeon says. Since Jungeun was forced to reveal how the poisons are distributed, Sangyeon had felt more compelled in his responsibility. He will impale himself on this blade for the sake of dulling the slashes carved into others. 

"Taking the dose is at least like having a stroke. The effects could be much worse. How much do you think your body could take? What if you take the larger dose and you end up braindead?" Jungeun presses. 

"Then we should just accept that. You shouldn't worry so much. The aim is to punish the person threatening you and Wong Kahei. The whole point of this is to get at Lim Youngwook and a task like this has risks that I accept."

Jungeun shakes her head. "I wouldn't feel happy knowing that is a risk. Kahei wouldn't want to know she caused this either. There must be another way."

"I already made peace with the fact death is unavoidable. This way something good might come of it."

Jungeun huffs, irritated and leans forward and fixes Jaehyun with a glare. "Aren't you going to say anything? I know you don't want him to do this."

"It isn't my decision," Jaehyun says evenly. He is good at this. Sangyeon is glad. They had spoken about this a few times between themselves, Sangyeon growing more articulate each time as he practiced how he would pronounce his words carefully to Jungeun. The first idea was a good one. Jungeun must know it. 

Without the ally she had hoped for, Jungeun scowls around the table at Sangyeon and Jaehyun and Sooyoung, silent. She stands from the table swiftly. The scrape of her chairlegs on the floor is jarring. "I'm going to call Haseul."

Once she has slammed the door behind her, Jaehyun says, "You've actually convinced her that you aren't terrified."

Sangyeon smiles. "Have I not convinced you?" 

Jaehyun scoffs and even Sooyoung smiles wryly. 

"I'm sorry," Sooyoung says. "But I am grateful that you are going ahead with this."

"Have you ever considered working in espionage or intelligence?" Sangyeon asks. "As extreme as the plan is, it is a good one. How did you come up with it?" 

"I didn't think too hard about it. I just wanted to protect the people who are precious to me. Friends. People who feel like family."

"Sangyeon is my family," Jaehyun says, quick and sharp as a dagger. Sooyoung glances up at the sudden slice of words. 

"Maybe he will still get to be your family after this," Sooyoung says. "You willingly gave up on everyone else you had but I didn't have a choice. I am not going to lose anyone else without a fight. I won't let you tell me that I am wrong for that."

A retort is in Jaehyun's mouth but Sangyeon nudges Jaehyun to hold his tongue. Though reluctant, Jaehyun does keep his words to himself. 

"You're not wrong," Sangyeon says. "It isn't like I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart. I might get to be free after faking my death like this."

Finally Jaehyun has stopped reminding Sangyeon that he is equally likely to die by this plan. It has taken the entire week but Jaehyun can keep his reservations to himself. Sangyeon already knows the risks and he knows that he needed to be prepared for an outcome like this since he first accepted an assignment from Creker. 

He shouldn't do anything crazy like try to make himself feel alive by seeking adrenaline and a way to leave his mark on the world. Sangyeon might die or he might not, the only thing he does differently is embrace the feelings that have buoyed him since considering that Jaehyun's affection could be genuine. 

They kiss in all the different ways it is important to do so, good mornings, see you laters, welcome homes, good nights and all the thank yous and I love yous they can fit into their days together. They sleep side by side and they talk about all the dreams they could have lived through together had they met in vastly different circumstances. They trade confessions about first feelings and they touch everywhere it is possible to feel infinitely closer. Sangyeon maps out an entire new catalogue of information about Jaehyun in kisses alone, he knows exactly how to kiss down Jaehyun's neck until his breaths are languid sighs, he knows where to drag his lips and the shallow scrape of teeth to make Jaehyun hiss impatiently, and he knows how to kiss to make Jaehyun chase his lips and silently beg for an eternity from his mouth. 

They spend days married in a different way to the one they are used to and Sangyeon tries to consider this fair exchange for all the time he has missed out on anything as simple as a touch.

But Sangyeon hasn't been brought here to live anonymously in love. He wouldn't be able to leave if he wanted to regardless of his participation in the plan. He isn't free just yet. 

Haseul looks tired when she drops by the safehouse. She kisses Jungeun on the cheek almost carelessly in her exhaustion and it is nice to see how Jungeun's eyes begin to sparkle after just a moment together. 

"It is good to see you," Sangyeon says as he smiles at the new arrival. She spares a glance for Sangyeon and quickly breezes past him to see whether Sooyoung is waiting for her. 

"That was rude," Jaehyun notes. Sangyeon tries to give it the benefit of the doubt but Haseul's mood doesn't thaw. 

Later he tries to speak with her, to see how she has been since they last saw each other on the night Sangyeon’s lies burned away. The words are heavy in his mouth but Haseul doesn't even give Sangyeon the chance to give them altitude. 

"We're not friends, Sangyeon," Haseul says in the upstairs corridor. Sangyeon leans against the wall, subtle support. "You haven't been honest with me even once. Why do you think I want to exchange pleasantries with you?" 

Sangyeon spreads his palms against the wall and feels more secure. "You haven't been honest either. Everything you said was a lie." 

"I had to protect myself and the people around me from you and Jaehyun," Haseul says through gritted teeth. As small as she is, she trembles with ferocity and stares up at Sangyeon with gloss in her eyes. "Don't you get it?" 

"I don't," Sangyeon admits against the grit in his throat. Regardless of the secrecy he faced whilst living at Cedar Drive and working at Paransup Primary School, he had grown fond of Haseul. It seems that he had uselessly thought he was building a foundation of sorts. 

"Let me explain it to you clearly then," Haseul says, taking a step closer. "You were only talking to me for a job. You were trying to manipulate me to find out about my parents and my girlfriend and you didn't take a minute to question exactly what was going on. I have heard the stupid excuse about needing help to sequence the toxins. It's all rubbish, Sangyeon. They wanted to shut my parents up. If you succeeded in your job, it would have ended up with people I care about dying. The only reason I can be grateful that my parents are alive is that Lim Youngwook's assistant was annoyed into weeding Jaehyun out. If he had succeeded, I wouldn't have had to see you again."

Sangyeon’s eyes sting. It isn't fair. Haseul cares for people close to her but Sangyeon cares a lot for Jaehyun. In the same breath as stating how important her family is to her she as good as said she wished Jaehyun was compromised. Though it is the same for him. He did his job and regardless of the results he was glad to have a slice of life with Jaehyun. 

Sangyeon isn't a spy right now. Not really. 

 "Can we start again?" Sangyeon asks. 

"Why? Because you might die?" Haseul asks. "Don't expect me to care either way." 

Sangyeon holds his breath as Haseul turns on her heel and walks away. He needs the support of the wall now more than ever, though he still can't remain on his feet. There is no mistaking how things are. Sangyeon cannot argue against the scathing words. Haseul hated him. Rightly so. She had every right to hate Sangyeon and everything he stood for. 

This situation isn't simply an old assignment he can distance himself from. His deceit has a victim who he can still see now, after the fact, and Sangyeon understands precisely why Chaekyung had to remove herself from the field. Sangyeon hadn't flirted his way into bed with a target like Haseul, though he has been persistent in building a friendship based on fabricated similarities. This is just a small slight in the grand scheme of things but it is enough. 

Jaehyun finds Sangyeon, folded onto the wooden floor. 

"Sangyeon, baby, what's wrong?" Jaehyun asks, voice hushed. His hands are firm as they squeeze Sangyeon’s arms and feel over his trunk. "Are you hurt?" 

Sangyeon shakes his head. His throat hurts, straining against a realisation he had never expected. He feels more fragile just for the fact Jaehyun uses the blade of his hand to sweep away the heat trickling down his cheeks. 

"I don't want to be a bad person anymore," he admits. 

The hardening in Jaehyun's expression isn't a surprise. If Sangyeon is a bad person, Jaehyun is just as bad if not worse. That isn't something Sangyeon genuinely thinks about the man who has been his partner, the man who wants to save him, however the reasons for being a bad person cannot be separated from Jaehyun. They are the same. 

"You've never been bad," Jaehyun whispers as he holds Sangyeon close. It isn't the first lie Jaehyun has told Sangyeon, might not even be the last, though it is a nice lie to hear. 

On the day Sangyeon dies, he poses as a foreign man of wealth. A friend of Wong Kahei acquainted whilst studying abroad. His name is Tobias and he is an old childhood friend, a native of Hong Kong who was pleased to meet someone just like home amongst sunsoaked oddities of Australian life. The story is that they have finally been able to reconnect once Tobias discovered Kahei was residing with her family as political refugees trapped on Korean soil. The reunion is supposed to be airy and light, though Sangyeon is equipped with a cane and general incomprehension. 

Of course, Tobias requires a guide. 

Sangyeon is glad to have Jaehyun's arm and he is glad to have the excuse of not being versed in the local language as he keeps quiet. 

Sooyoung is capable of too much. The sleek black car that takes Sangyeon to the Bulgarian embassy is convincing and the tailored suits are equally impressive with their classic lines artfully created after a fitting. The invitation itself seems like a miracle when Sangyeon is provided with foreign papers of a fictional man with infinite wealth. 

Jaehyun has his own cover, easy. His new job is at a private security firm under the same family of companies that Sooyoung works for. A believable story that allows Juyeon to be glad to see him for the chance to catch up. 

Tobias smiles, vague and confused as his personal attendant chats with security guards. This barely feels like a cover for Sangyeon because he genuinely cannot keep up with the conversation. 

In the month Jaehyun had been working with Juyeon, a great many private jokes had been cooked up between them. When they sit down to eat, rather than paying attention to introductions, Jaehyun takes the time to explain jokes to Sangyeon and recount the accompanying stories. 

Considering the mission at hand, Sangyeon oddly feels at ease. Even more so when talking to Wong Kahei. 

"I think I will name a frog after you," Kahei says slowly and carefully. Sangyeon suspects that part of the reason is that she is keeping pace with him. Despite her family seated at her other side, she frequently leans towards Sangyeon with smiles and words which penetrate the fug of his tired mind. 

"Both of us?" 

"I only have one nameless frog," Kahei says with a frown. 

"How about a nice combination of our names?" Jaehyun suggests as he peers over Sangyeon’s shoulder, possibly leaning in too close to maintain their cover exactly, though the comfort is nice. 

"That could end up sounding ugly," Kahei reasons. 

"Then you should just call it Jaehyun," Sangyeon decides. Jaehyun splutters and pinches Sangyeon’s side. 

"I said I wanted to get a pet dog, not to be the namesake of a frog." 

"But I want the frog to be named after my Prince Charming," Sangyeon says, deliberation heavy in each syllable. Jaehyun flushes deep cerise and sinks down in his seat wordlessly. Unusually, he doesn't have a retort and Kahei laughs along with her old friend Tobias and moves the subject along. 

Though shallow impressions like these are rarely indicative of a person's character, Sangyeon doesn't think Kahei is a murderer. She wouldn't go so far as to act out against her imprisonment. Frustrations are clear after her family was ousted from their lives settled in luxury when suspicions that her father was an informant to foreign powers, though framing her as the propagator of a scheme so wretched beggars belief. 

Naturally, Kahei has the intellect to pull off the poisonings, but neither the motive nor the malice. 

Just before the main course, Kahei begins explaining the keeper of her frogs. It only strengthens Sangyeon’s certainty. 

"It was such a strange coincidence when Sooyoung found out that her ex-girlfriend's family were involved. Right away, she wanted to remove them from the situation. I was actually visiting the frogs when her contact gave her the information about the… campaign."

Kahei's way of speaking is laden with jarring syllables which makes Sangyeon pay attention to the meanings. Of course the spate of murders isn't exactly a campaign, though the perpetrator being Lim Youngwook, hopeful to work his way into the Blue House, would likely frame the action as part of the campaign. 

Sangyeon’s eyes stray across the table to the man in question who is sitting with Bulgarian officials who chat earnestly. He smiles in a warm, grandfatherly manner, with deep lines creasing his face. The kindness of his features could fool anyone. He must really think himself a person fighting for a just cause, otherwise his expressions would pull at crueller angles. 

Sangyeon expected the poison to be administered during the dinner. The hours passed and Sangyeon was fine. As was everyone else at the table. Sangyeon knew to look out for someone conspicuous to administer the venom but that information seems useless. 

The dinner ends and nothing has happened. Kahei excuses herself to the bathroom and says she hopes Sangyeon will wait for her in the drawing room. Luckily Jaehyun knows where that is, though it doesn't entirely settle Sangyeon. Nobody has had any sort of medical emergency and the toxins, once administered, work fast. 

For a moment, he considers Kahei's absence and what that might indicate. He and Jaehyun could have been duped into coming to the aid of the perpetrator, though their involvement would make no sense in this regard. If Kahei wanted to kill with the poisons of Jungeun's research she wouldn't need Sangyeon and Jaehyun present. He also considers the possibility that she is making her escape, a skill Jaehyun had pointed out, and planting two fools as the scapegoats. Thinking that way would mean he doesn't trust Jaehyun's judgement. Sangyeon trusts Jaehyun implicitly. 

"Let me help you down the stairs, Tobias," Jaehyun offers aloud, intentionally clumsy as he wraps his arm around Sangyeon’s waist and takes the hand closest to him. Nestled closely against each other, Jaehyun finds time to talk. 

"If not the dinner, there is still time afterwards. In the drawing room, there will be some light entertainment. That might be where the person who is 'out of place' might turn up. Your dose will be first and the lethal dose should follow. Do you want to swap with me? I should take it for you."

Sangyeon laughs, gripping tightly at Jaehyun's hand and the stair banister as his cane clacks against the balustrades. The unsteadiness will subside once he reaches the ground. This will pass. With the passing will come the loss of Jaehyun’s touch. There are benefits to everything. 

"Don't be silly. We can't change things now. If you are the one to die, how could I ever leave Creker?" 

"I could come and rescue you some other way. I am sure I would eventually find an elegant solution to the problem." 

"This one is just fine," Sangyeon says. 

Jaehyun sighs and mutters something wistful though there is something else requiring attention. 

Sangyeon frowns at Hyunjun, out of place, standing alone beside a leafy fern at the bottom of the flight of stairs which leads out to the glimmering foyer. He is dressed very smartly but he shifts awkwardly on his feet whilst fussing with a teddy bear dressed exactly like himselfa. When the bear slips from his grip his face falls. 

"Keep an eye out," Sangyeon says to Jaehyun in a low voice. He gestures towards Hyunjun and starts on his way, his cane echoing too loud with each step. 

"No way," Jaehyun says, "I want to spend time with our son too."

Sangyeon grins to himself. He can't be bothered to refute this. He is careful and crouches to pick up Hyunjun’s bear. 

"Oh no," Hyunjun says in a tiny voice. Jaehyun supports Sangyeon so he doesn't immediately fall over. 

"Here you go."

Hyunjun shakes his head. "You should leave it, Mr Lee."

"Why?" 

"I can't take the bear from you."

It is a strange thing to say. Hyunjun’s eyes flicker to Jaehyun, too wide, too nervous, and he balls his little gloved hands into fists. He frowns and then looks cautiously at Sangyeon. The corners of his mouth draw downwards. 

"Mr Lee, I was told to wait here for a man from Hong Kong. I was told to wait here for someone who would be with a person who looks like your friend."

Sangyeon feels ice drip into his veins. He adjusts his grip on the bear he is trying to reunite with its owner and he very pointedly doesn't look at Jaehyun. 

"Today, I am a man from Hong Kong."

Hyunjun’s chin wrinkles. He turns glistening eyes on Sangyeon. It is almost as though he expected to hear those words all along. A tremendous breath rattles Hyunjun’s little shoulders. 

"I don't want to. You're not bad."

"What don't you want to do?" Sangyeon asks. He doesn't get a response. Just Hyunjun shaking his head and trying his hardest not to cry. Hyunjun reaches out an arm, his hand squeezed tightly into a little fist inside his glove. 

"Don't," Jaehyun says, barely a breath. Sangyeon finally looks at Jaehyun, his bodyguard for the night. Jaehyun sets his jaw and asks, "Do you just want to try to run away instead? I saved up. Not enough to be comfortable but it is a start. Maybe we could stay ahead of Creker and live quietly somewhere for a few months. It might be nice."

"We won't last a few months," Sangyeon reminds Jaehyun. And then he looks back at Hyunjun. The child is sullen as he unfurls his fingers and reaches for the bear. 

This method is quite smart despite how clumsy the execution is. The sting spark from somewhere near Hyunjun’s thumb and when Hyunjun is clutching the bear to his chest Sangyeon half expects to see the broken needle embedded into his skin. But there is nothing aside from the itching that ripples through his hand. A strange sensation that is too subtle for any suspicions to be taken seriously. 

With Jaehyun's help, Sangyeon pushes against his cane and stands up. Jaehyun keeps his hand at Sangyeon’s waist, secure. 

"Is it the bear?" 

"The gloves," Sangyeon says. 

Jaehyun doesn't spare Hyunjun a glance longer than a moment. His eyes are fixated, searching for something in Sangyeon’s expression. Whatever he seeks is absent and it has worry deepening in Jaehyun's face. 

"I don't like this. We could have found a better way."

There is no better way and Jaehyun must know that truthfully. But Sangyeon doesn't like this either. He had felt the poison work immediately last time. After being pricked by Hyunjun, Sangyeon can count his breaths between the seconds and he doesn't feel any different. As convinced as Sangyeon is that he is fine he can't ignore the naked dread in Hyunjun’s face. 

"What do you normally do?" Sangyeon asks. 

"My auntie comes to find me when the job is done. This time I still have to meet someone else."

That sounds so inconvenient. Sangyeon doesn't see how it would make sense to trust a child to do something like this unsupervised. Children aren't infallible and even now Hyunjun was reluctant to do what he had needed to do. There is also the unfortunate aspect of the child being present when the effects of the poison set in. 

Sangyeon’s head hurts. 

"Sangyeon, let's just go now. We could find Jungeun and get you treated now before anything…" 

Jaehyun doesn't finish his sentence. Sangyeon pats Jaehyun on the shoulder. "If we leave before anything happens to me, what will be the point? I thought you wanted to help Sooyoung."

"Sangyeon," Jaehyun says quietly. He doesn't need to say anything. Sangyeon already knows. He reaches for the heat trickling from his nose. Red. 

"Take Hyunjun," Sangyeon instructs. His words slur vaguely and he needs Jaehyun to stop hesitating. 

"I don't want to leave you like this," Jaehyun says. 

"Do your job. Find me when I'm dead."

Jaehyun's face crumples and Sangyeon staggers backwards. Sangyeon isn't sure whether Hyunjun has seen what the poisons did to the other victims but he doesn't want Hyunjun to see what it does in this instance. 

Thankfully, Jaehyun listens. The plan has already been set out. This shouldn't be the last time they see each other but even if it is, they aren't strangers to the risks of disappearing. Maybe Jaehyun will be able to recover Sangyeon’s body once he has falsely been declared deceased. Maybe Sangyeon will really die. 

Sangyeon thinks he understands why Jaehyun wants to get out of this life. Sangyeon doesn't want to feel disposable, like his existence is secondary to the ambitions of other people, but that is simply the way his life has fallen. 

It is strange. Sangyeon watches Jaehyun scoop Hyunjun into his arms, tiny anguished face pressed against his shoulder, and carry him away but Sangyeon wants them to come back. He doesn't want to be alone. He wants to live. He wants to be happy. He wants it to be real. 

They're gone by the time Sangyeon hits the floor.

Chapter Text

Two months into his new routine of rehabilitation, Sangyeon returns home alone to see a lumpy pile of something at the front door. From the end of the corridor Sangyeon pauses. He reminds himself that there might not be anything there at all. His mind is prone to mistaken illusions. He will decide what to do when he is close enough to determine he is seeing anything at all. 

Sangyeon wheels himself closer and he still sees the strange something in front of the door to the ground floor flat he calls home. And then he reaches home and the strange something looks a lot like a very small someone shivering in late summer with their knees against their chest. 

"What's wrong?" Sangyeon asks quietly. He isn't really sure how much help he could be to a lost child but he will try even without being the person he used to be. 

Tired eyes look up at Sangyeon, widen in surprise in what must be a reflection of Sangyeon’s own expression. 

"Hyunjun?" 

Hyunjun jumps to his feet and shifts his weight uncomfortably between tattered trainers. Sangyeon is patient whilst awaiting the answer but a few blinks later Hyunjun’s eyes brim with a shine of tears. 

Sangyeon takes Hyunjun’s hand into his own carefully. Hyunjun’s hands are marked with a litany of scratches and the skin is too hot and clammy. Sangyeon doesn't think he should be glad to see this child again just yet. 

"What's wrong, Hyunjun?" 

Hyunjun’s chin trembles and he scrunches his face tightly enough that his tears begin to leak from his eyes. "Did I really hurt you, Mr Lee?" 

"No!" Sangyeon’s chest tightens painfully but he isn't glad of the thought that this isn't because of any physical issues. Sometimes Sangyeon can't help himself and his voice is sharper and louder than necessary. His patience is much shorter than it used to be but it takes watching Hyunjun flinch to remember himself. He tries again, more gently, "No. You didn't hurt me, Hyunjun. I'm fine."

"But you fell, people even said you died," Hyunjun bawls, "and now you have a wheelchair."

"You didn't hurt me," Sangyeon repeats. 

Sangyeon grabs the little duffel bag that sits on the floor beside Hyunjun and he lets them both into the flat. Hyunjun keeps blubbing as he follows Sangyeon around the flat too closely. He follows Sangyeon into the kitchen and gets in the way whilst Sangyeon fetches him a glass of fruit juice. He follows back to the living room with his drink clutched between his hands but he doesn't do as he is told and make himself comfortable. Instead Hyunjun cries harder and stands right next to Sangyeon. 

This isn’t exactly what Sangyeon was looking forward to after a speech and language therapy session that felt a lot like failure. He needs to at least try to comfort this child. 

"How did you come here?" Sangyeon asks. Even over the sound of his own sobs Hyunjun understands. He wobbles around as he finds somewhere safe to put his drink and he searches through his scruffy duffel bag for a letter which he hands to Sangyeon. 

"The lady told me to give this to you."

"What lady?" 

Hyunjun sniffs, keeps his composure for a moment, and dissolves into another wave of weeping. "My auntie. We were pretending. I didn't really know her but she said if I lived with her I could go to a nice school and make lots of friends and nothing bad would happen ever again. But bad things happened. I had to hurt lots of people." 

Sangyeon doesn't really like reading things much these days. It might be that words don't really mean what they used to and it is hard to concentrate enough to wonder whether they are right, but Sangyeon needs to find out what Hyunjun really means. The letter must have some explanation. 

Sangyeon switches the television on for Hyunjun and excuses himself to his bedroom to read the letter. But he gives up after the struggle of opening the envelope. Catching sight of the hoists to help him into bed makes him consider that he isn't the most useful person at a time like this. He can't do this. Hyunjun appearing here makes no sense and there is a chance that the letter isn't going to clear anything up. He needs help. 

"I was just thinking about my gorgeous trophy husband," Jaehyun says as he answers the phone. "How was your session today? Was it physio with Jiwoo? She was impressed with how well you're doing, right?" 

For all the questions he has in his mouth, Jaehyun shuts up as soon as he hears Sangyeon’s attempt to say his name. But it is too difficult to say with the clenched jaw and the chattering uncertainty rattling his teeth. "Come back."

"Are you hurt?" Jaehyun asks. 

"No."

"Are you okay?" 

"Okay."

Sangyeon hears the steady breath of Jaehyun’s exhale. And then Jaehyun says, "I'll come home. I'll let my manager know and I'll be right there, alright?" 

"Yes," Sangyeon says even though he isn't sure if that is alright. But he still thinks he should try to explain the situation. He doesn't manage much more than, "Boy."

"Boy?" 

"Boy," Sangyeon confirms. 

"Don't worry, alright? I will be right there."

Sangyeon knows that Jaehyun means it when he says he will be home soon but that is still half an hour away. Sangyeon needs to do something about the immediate situation. He returns to the living room and Hyunjun’s eyes are on him in an instant. He looks like he has stopped crying but his face is guarded. 

"Are you hungry?" Sangyeon asks carefully. 

Hyunjun shakes his head and pretends to watch the news on the television. Sangyeon feels nervous but he can't just leave Hyunjun alone until Jaehyun arrives. He makes his way over to the sofa. He is tired after today but he moves from his wheelchair to the armchair beside the sofa without too much difficulty. 

"Do you hate me?" Hyunjun asks quietly. He is watching Sangyeon with resignation heavy in his face. Sangyeon can't imagine what would make a child think that. 

"No."

Hyunjun bites his lips and drops his gaze to the glass of fruit juice he is holding in his lap. "I don't want you to hate me, Mr Lee."

There is something in addition to the usual difficulties that block the words in the back of Sangyeon’s throat. He wants to know what happened to Hyunjun but he also doesn't want to hear anything that he can't make better. There is something innate in Sangyeon’s heart, the willingness to offer scant comfort, and he opens his arms. Hyunjun scurries over and carefully places his drink on the floor before hugging Sangyeon. 

Sangyeon hadn't expected to ever see Hyunjun again. Teaching was a life Sangyeon could have had if he hadn't accepted the offer to work with Creker. If Sangyeon hadn't been in search of excitement beyond the mundane he could have enjoyed the fulfilment of teaching children. But he had chosen something else. 

The choice he had made did lead him to Jaehyun so he supposes it isn't all bad. 

When Jaehyun returns home he freezes in the doorway. 

"What's going on?" Jaehyun asks. He creeps into the living room and frowns at Sangyeon and then Hyunjun. They're sitting awkwardly in the living room but the odd stasis ends with Jaehyun's gasp. He squeezes Sangyeon’s shoulder as he sinks onto the arm of the chair. "You really kidnapped him. My son? You brought me my son?" 

Sangyeon hands Jaehyun the letter he hadn't read. Jaehyun's expression as he scans the first page makes Sangyeon wish he had read it himself. 

"Hyunjun, sweetie, can you take your bag into the small bedroom? It is just the second door over there, honey."

Hyunjun does as he is told and struggles all the way. And Jaehyun drops his voice and flutters the envelope and the sheets of paper. "Sangyeon, I don't mean to alarm you but that kid is ours to keep."

Sangyeon frowns. He isn't certain what that means. 

"Ours?" 

"That child doesn't have anywhere to go, Sangyeon. He was taken to be a child agent. And now he's ours. There's a birth certificate here and everything. It must be a forgery but it looks good enough."

Sangyeon isn't sure how one of Jaehyun’s wishes could come true. 

"That's not right."

Jaehyun ignores Sangyeon for a moment and stares down at the crumpled page of the letter. "Sangyeon," he says quietly, "I am a terrible spy. I am a worse assistant-slash-trainee-stock-broker, but I am a terrible spy. Sooyoung already knew I needed to come home and I assumed it was because she was just being an understanding boss. But I think she has been lying to us about a lot."

"What do you mean?" Sangyeon asks. 

Jaehyun dips his hand into the envelope and withdraws a battered scrap of folded paper. The edges are soft and frayed, torn from a larger sheet. 

"Listen to this: 'Hyunjun chose you despite your pasts. From one dead spy to another, you shouldn't be afraid of asking for favours from friends with connections.' I don't know what the dead spy part is on about though."

"I'm dead," Sangyeon says helpfully. 

"I know that, but who else is dead? Who would know that you're dead whilst also being dead themselves?" 

Sangyeon isn't sure who specifically but if they consider the possibilities there are answers out there. Other agents would be obvious answers but Sangyeon wouldn't know any dead agents and he would know any within that category who lived to find out that he had died too. He recalls the agent who died at his hands and decides that is one candidate to ignore. There must be someone out there. Perhaps even someone Sooyoung knows, just like what Jaehyun seems to think. 

Sangyeon takes his time unfolding the piece of paper Jaehyun had handed to him. It is a drawing of a flower. A familiar drawing that was among the many sheets of paper submitted to him by pupils who were excited about making something for their class play. A familiar drawing Sangyeon took from the house he lived in as a husband and a teacher before that life was incinerated. A familiar drawing he had kept safe in the home he had to live in alone when he returned to his usual duties for Creker. 

"Jaehyun!" 

Jaehyun looks up from the letter and frowns at the drawing. "Another flower? Hyunjun gives you a lot of those."

"This is from my house," Sangyeon explains. 

"It is a flower from your house?" 

Jaehyun doesn't quite understand and Sangyeon knows it is because he is getting excited over things without being able to clarify everything. He waves the slip of paper closer to Jaehyun's face all the same. "The drawing."

"The drawing is from your house?" 

Jaehyun still looks unsure despite Sangyeon’s nodding. Sangyeon doesn't understand how Jaehyun could have suffered serious burns on his arm for the sake of some drawings of flowers and forgotten all about them. 

Sangyeon can't even try to explain it because Jaehyun jumps to his feet and goes to meet Hyunjun where he is peering through a crack on the door. 

"Hey, kid, did you manage to put your things on the bed?" 

Hyunjun nods as Jaehyun leads him back into the living room. And then he quietly says, "When it is time for me to go you won't need to help me with my bag. I carried it all the way here even though it looks heavy."

"What?" 

Jaehyun looks between Hyunjun and Sangyeon. He's at a loss, hand wrapped around Hyunjun’s. He crouches in front of the sofa where Hyunjun wriggles back into the seat. 

"Hyunjun, where are you going?" 

Hyunjun shrugs. "I don't know. But I don't want Mr Lee to be sad because of me. If somebody hurt me, it would make me sad if they were always around."

"Nobody is sad," Jaehyun says, voice edging on frantic. 

"I will be sad," Sangyeon says. He reaches across the gap for Hyunjun’s shoulder but he isn't surprised that his arm doesn't extend that far. Not quite being able to reach even something as abstract as intention is something Sangyeon has grown used to. But various therapists at the rehab centre keep saying that perseverance is the key to reaching anything and Sangyeon isn't going to take his arm back just because right now he can't reach out to Hyunjun properly and his words are too slow and clunky because he wants to make sure he is saying the ones he means. "If you go, I will be very sad."

Hyunjun’s lower lip juts out and he heaves his shoulders with a tremendous breath before he rubs his eyes. He is trying hard not to cry but he shouldn't need to feel so brave. 

"Stay," Sangyeon says. The tears fall rapidly from Hyunjun’s eyes but he reaches a trembling hand to reach Sangyeon’s. 

Jaehyun takes the next day off work with some claims of emergency paternity leave though he isn't around by the time Jiwoo the care assistant arrives and wakes Sangyeon up. It is a Wednesday so she should be helping Sangyeon to get ready for physical therapy but she comes into Sangyeon’s room late. 

"Sangyeon, who is this child?" Jiwoo asks loudly, marching into the room with little Hyunjun doing his best to imitate her heavy footsteps. 

Hyunjun peers around Jiwoo once their two-man parade comes to a stop and Sangyeon waves at him. 

"Good morning, Mr Lee."

"Mr Lee?" Jiwoo squawks. "He's adorable, Sangyeon!"

Hyunjun is adorable. He is adorable enough that it is better he sits in the living room with a glass of juice and a plate of toast so Jiwoo can help Sangyeon pick out an outfit and assist him to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Even though he's set in his routines Sangyeon is wary of how helpless he is at times like this. 

Jiwoo is nice. She is a very bright young woman whose voice sounds like singing and she is determined to earn a genuine smile from everyone she meets each day. These days, Sangyeon finds her smile contagious though in the weeks before now he considered himself immune. The early days of this routine had Jiwoo straining to smile at Sangyeon on his worst days. Today isn't anywhere close to a bad day. 

"Are you babysitting?" Jiwoo trills, her voice echoing against the bathroom tiles. "He says his name is Hyunjun."

"Yes," Sangyeon confirms. "Jiwoo—" 

"No excuses! " Jiwoo says, sounding the way characters on television programmes for infants do when they pretend to be strict, "Cute little Hyunjunie told me that you used to be his teacher."

Sangyeon is thankful for Jiwoo. She might know too much but she doesn't press for more information. In fact she actively avoids hearing about subjects which tip closer to too much. For as friendly and open as she appears, she is incredibly discreet. 

By the time Sangyeon is dressed and ready for his own breakfast, Jaehyun is home from his urgent early-morning shopping trip. 

"Why didn't you make breakfast for your child, Lee Jaehyun?" Jiwoo scolds. Though they're behind schedule because of the extra tasks Jiwoo had to add to the morning, her positivity is overflowing. 

"He wasn't awake," Jaehyun says as he drops his carrier bags in the living room. He kisses Sangyeon on the forehead and takes a seat beside him at the table. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning, baby."

"You'll have to get used to this," Jiwoo warns Hyunjun in a loud whisper. "They are always this icky. They sometimes stop if you pretend to be sick like this 'blegh!'" 

Hyunjun points at his mouth and repeats, "Blegh!" 

"Cute," Sangyeon says as he nudges his bowl of fruit towards Hyunjun. The moment of selection is tense until Hyunjun chooses a strawberry and smiles shyly at Sangyeon. 

"Sangyeon, how can you reward behaviour like this?" Jaehyun asks dramatically. "Must I be ashamed of loving my husband in my own home?" 

"He is cute," Sangyeon points out. And whilst he is on the subject of revealing facts to Jaehyun he adds, "I can't eat. You're holding my hand."

Jaehyun sighs loudly and slips his hand away from Sangyeon’s. "I can feel my heart breaking. First you want to eat breakfast and then you're going to run off with Jisoo and—" 

"Jiwoo!" 

"How am I supposed to know which one you are?" Jaehyun asks incredulously. 

"Jiwoo is like a little sparrow. Jisoo is the one you're scared of."

Jaehyun scoffs. "Don't listen to them, Hyunjun. I'm not scared of anyone. I am a very brave man. I'll be the second bravest dad you've ever seen after Sangyeon." 

Hyunjun laughs, lips sealed tightly and cheeks bulging, though his efforts aren't enough to stop the gleam of strawberry juice shining on his chin. Jaehyun sighs and gets up to use a square of kitchen towel to mop up Hyunjun’s face. It is Jiwoo's turn to scoff. 

"What do you do that is so brave?" 

"I spoke to Jisoo, the scary one, two weeks ago," Jaehyun says very seriously. "She threatened me and everything." 

"That doesn't sound right," Jiwoo frowns. 

"She asked if he wanted to take pilates classes," Sangyeon supplies. Jaehyun casts a betrayed look his way. 

"That was a threat!" 

"Is pilates scary?" Hyunjun asks, eyes wide and earnest. Sangyeon is absolutely head over heels for this kid. He is adorable, though Sangyeon hopes he will reach a point of not being quite so certain that Jaehyun could be sad for the fact he is around. 

"Pilates isn't scary for most people," Jiwoo offers knowledgeably, "But look at Jaehyun's twig legs! No wonder he is afraid of pilates!" 

Hyunjun giggles behind his hands, breathless and squeaky, and ducks as though he thinks he won't be seen. Hearing the sound has Sangyeon wishing that Jiwoo would come around more often. He can't put a price on Hyunjun’s happiness and seeing that he practically shines through quiet laughter latches into his skin and refuses to shift for other thoughts. He needs to do anything possible to make Hyunjun smile like this every day. 

"Are you laughing at my legs?" Jaehyun asks, sounding defeated. "Sangyeon, why is our baby making fun of me." 

"Nobody would be making fun of you if you didn't forget everyone's names!" Jiwoo scolds. Jaehyun looks at a loss for words, gaping at Sangyeon uselessly as he returns to his seat and leans into Sangyeon’s side. 

"I can't help this singular flaw. I'm not perfect. Only Sangyeon is perfect and I bet he forgets people's names too."

"You are perfect," Sangyeon says as he edges his fingers across the tabletop to meet Jaehyun's. "There's nobody more perfect than you."

"I love you, even if you're not meant to talk when you're eating," Jaehyun says, voice soft. "You should be careful. You have plenty of time if you want to make my heart burst."

"Quickly, Hyunjun," Jiwoo prompts. The two of them chorus 'Blegh!' and Sangyeon laughs upon seeing the pained response from Jaehyun. 

"This treatment in my own home," he laments. 

"I suppose, seeing as your feelings are hurt, I can admit that Sangyeon does forget names too sometimes. He has called me Nayeon once or twice even though that sounds nothing like Jiwoo." 

"And now you're making my husband blush instead of me?" Jaehyun whines. "You're relentless. Let me love Sangyeon in peace!" 

Jiwoo pretends to retch alone at that. 

Hyunjun grins and even steals another strawberry from Sangyeon’s bowl. But then he asks Sangyeon to open wide, so he does. The strawberry is sweet. 

Hyunjun says, "Our class's Nayeon had hair like you, Miss Jiwoo. She had long hair and a fringe like you. Maybe you remind Mr Lee of her."

Sangyeon hadn't even thought of anything like that. Not that he would have been able to remember much of the class. He had a hard enough time remembering the class when he saw them every day. He will have to take Hyunjun’s word about the student called Nayeon. 

But he remembers Hyunjun. Sangyeon isn't certain why but he is glad that he does. 

Hyunjun hugs Sangyeon tightly before Jiwoo takes Sangyeon to the rehabilitation centre for his physical therapy session. She doesn't strictly need to do this because Sangyeon can make his way to and from his sessions easily and he does it every Tuesday for speech and language therapy. All the same, he appreciates the extra support on Wednesdays, especially after he was able to admit to Jiwoo why the lack of progress at these sessions hits him harder than he wants to admit to Jaehyun. 

"Are you jealous that they are going to spend the day organising your flat to be kid-friendly?" Jiwoo asks at the first traffic lights. 

"I wouldn't be able to do anything," Sangyeon points out. 

"It is still family bonding time."

As true as that is, Sangyeon isn't sure he is really missing out on Jaehyun pretending not to sulk when things don't work out exactly as he planned. He doesn't need to be around for that when his presence alone is enough for Jaehyun to disregard his own feelings and act as though he never gets upset or angry. 

"I don't want," Sangyeon begins carefully, "to be difficult."

"You're not difficult. When I see you together you get on well," Jiwoo cheers. "Too well, if I'm being honest. It makes me jealous. Do you think something different to what I know?" 

Sangyeon tries to order his thoughts but it is too easy to forget the points when he is trying to think of how best to phrase things. For all her high spirits and excitability, Jiwoo is patient. She listens and sends encouraging smiles even when she is supposed to be paying attention to the road. Sangyeon might as well try talking and hope Jiwoo understands what he means. 

"I was different before the stroke," Sangyeon says. Only half of a lie. The part that matters is the inevitable result of all this. "Now Jaehyun works, looks after me, and now a child. He needs rest."

"You've talked to him about respite before," Jiwoo reminds him. She's right. She knows too much. She remembers it all. "It didn't end well. He got upset with you for thinking he wanted a break from you. Do you think he will have changed his mind after just a few weeks?" 

Sangyeon does not think Jaehyun will have changed his mind. In fact the arrival of Hyunjun has probably given Jaehyun something else to prove. But Sangyeon doesn't want him to have to do everything. 

Jaehyun already had to carry the burden of closing the situation with Creker. He had to attend several interviews as part of the investigation into how one of their agents was placed at the scene of their murder. Jaehyun repeatedly had to tell the agency that he didn't want to turn down an invitation from someone with whom he had forged a friendship, that he wanted to show off the husband he talked so much about, that he regrets every day that a moment of pride ended up soaking his hands in the blood of a colleague and perhaps more. 

Sangyeon knows that Jaehyun attended his funeral. It was just something small arranged by the agency in order for people to pay their last respects to a man who was nobody. Sangyeon had been to a handful of such funerals himself, one he had even caused, but he had never loved any of those people. 

He was yet to be roused from his coma by the time of the service but he knows it happened. Sangyeon couldn't have done it had the situations been reversed. He couldn't have mourned a person whose breaths he prayed for in exchange for each one of his own. 

Jaehyun had to do it and then he had to wait to see whether Sangyeon would wake up ever again. 

Sangyeon forgets things all the time but for some reason he doesn't have the ability to forget this. 

Sangyeon forgets a lot by the time he reaches the rehabilitation centre. Jiwoo helps him out of the car and into his wheelchair with lots of sound effects and asks if he's kind enough to buy his dutiful helper some ice cream. He laughs, considers the promise, all the way until they're signed into the building and on their way to the physical therapy studio. 

And then Jiwoo opens her mouth and tells everyone that Sangyeon has a very important announcement. 

Sangyeon twists to look up at Jiwoo, panic gripping his chest as Jisoo the therapist approaches, shrugging off her jacket and asking why he has been keeping secrets. Looking up at her right now, tightly packed muscles bulging as she folds her arms, Sangyeon finally understands why Jaehyun accused her of threatening him. Sangyeon doesn't have a clue what his own secrets are, not beyond his reincarnation into this life. 

Tongue-tied, Sangyeon is saved from this trap by Jiwoo. 

"Sangyeon is a father!" 

That is different to the official line given by Sangyeon that morning, though Jaehyun had referred the two of them dads enough times that it would naturally become the new answer. 

"Since when?" Jisoo exclaims. She claps a hand over Sangyeon’s shoulder and congratulates him. 

"Since yesterday," Sangyeon supplies. 

"That's very new. How did you… become a parent?" Jisoo asks as she sweeps her hair behind her large ears and tightens her ponytail.

Sangyeon hesitates. "He… his name is Hyunjun. He is very cute." 

Jisoo laughs and accepts the change and sets up the frames and chassis which needs to be set up for today's session. Whilst undergoing her task she asks questions about Hyunjun and wonders aloud when she might meet him. 

The wonderful news of Sangyeon being a new parent does nothing to mellow Jisoo's session. After the warm-up, she works Sangyeon hard, his limbs trembling as she instructs him on how to get out of a chair and stand upright alone. Her arms are firm, strong, and she guides him and refuses to allow more than a moment to shed tears. 

Being unable to do things the way he used to is frustrating. Understanding exactly what Jisoo wants him to do and not having the capabilities to execute the intention is horrible. He isn't even able to do something this simple, something he took for granted every day until now. 

This is something Sangyeon chose. He needs to remember that. He chose to loosen his grip on certain aspects of his life in order to gain freedom. 

By the end of the session, Sangyeon is trembling, barely able to sit in his wheelchair whilst preparing to go home. Everything hurts, yet he is expected to smile. He wants to smile though things are too hard. 

Jisoo crouches beside Sangyeon and smiles. "You've worked hard today. I know you're feeling bad right now, but you're doing great. I'll see you next week and I expect you to brag properly about your little Hyunjun." 

Sangyeon won't have any trouble bragging about Hyunjun. That will be the easiest task ahead of him. 

On the way home, Jiwoo stops off for ice cream. She helps Sangyeon out of the car once more and into the obnoxiously pink little parlour. 

"You wait here at this table and I will buy the ice cream," Jiwoo asserts with a wink. 

"Do you have my wallet?" Sangyeon asks as he gestures to his bag slung over her shoulder. 

"I do!" Jiwoo says. She waddles off to queue up, stretching on tiptoe to see the menu board over the heads of the customers ahead of her. 

Sangyeon feels himself settle more as he waits. Tremors aren't racing through his muscles to chase further tension. He can cope. He is going to go home and eat ice cream with the two people who saved him. 

Sangyeon’s entire body stiffens when he sees someone oddly familiar outside the ice cream parlour. Ghosts can't make eye contact. Sangyeon tries to believe. He is mistaken. He needs to be. Otherwise guilt is what sparked the approaching apparition. 

She smiles, her lips drawing into a straight line. And then her eyes dull as though there was not a spec of recognition and she joins the queue for ice cream like there is nothing abnormal. Yet Sangyeon still feels it, the shackles of dread forged from his own misdeeds. 

Sangyeon can't manage anything like a smile. He is shaking, hands slick with sweat, and his chest aches. He needs to go home. He doesn't want to see dead spies anymore. He doesn't want this ghost to haunt him. 

He keeps his eyes shut and presses the heels of his hands against his eye sockets, hunching in on himself and trying to remember the man he was before he died. 

That person is a stranger. That person died along with Sangyeon’s old life. He can't survive in any conditions thrown at him, he can barely cling onto life as it is, and now he can't even think because his brain is too full of fuzz and interference for him to focus on remaining calm. 

"Sangyeon?" Jiwoo's voice is light and high enough to penetrate the airless misery gripping him. "You can breathe, please don't be upset." 

"I just need to go home. Please." 

Jiwoo and Jaehyun talk to each other quietly at home. Sangyeon doesn't need to hear it anyway. He had asked if he could sleep in Jaehyun's bed and after being helped into the comfort he sinks into the familiarity. 

He never got to share a bed with Jaehyun when they were married the first time around and intimacy wasn't anything he could take advantage of. Right now, he has been saved for this purpose, for them to be close. Here, they still have separate rooms though Sangyeon needs the comfort of Jaehyun’s space. 

The bedroom door creaks open, though the footsteps creeping in don't belong to Jaehyun. 

"Hey, Hyunjun," Sangyeon calls gently. 

Hyunjun closes the door and scrambles onto the bed. Very carefully he lowers himself onto the empty pillow and blinks his cautious eyes at Sangyeon. 

"How did you know it was me?" 

"I'm psychic," Sangyeon says. Hyunjun smiles, kittenish and small. 

"That's silly." 

"I'm very silly." 

Hyunjun hesitates around something and Sangyeon reaches out. Thankfully he has enough strength in his arm to stroke through the stiffness of Hyunjun’s hair. They will need to bathe him properly, give him a good wash so that his hair is soft for the next time Sangyeon reaches for him like this. 

"What's the matter?" Sangyeon asks, his jaw tightening around his words. 

"Can I really stay with you?" 

"Of course you can. I want you to live with us." 

"Mr… Are we going to be a family?" 

Sangyeon nods. He feels weak, already on the verge of tears. As disappointing as he might be right now, he wants to look after Hyunjun. He wants a family like this. Jaehyun had asked for a child so many times that it would be ludicrous not to do their best for the child who has landed in their laps. 

"My auntie… she wasn't really my auntie. She was nice but I had to hurt lots of people. I had to hurt you. Will our family be like that?" 

Though his voice is small, the weight of Hyunjun’s words sit heavily on Sangyeon’s chest. Sangyeon couldn't ever put Hyunjun in a position like that. He tries not to think about how his mind has merged the image of Hyunjun’s auntie with the image of the agent who died from his carelessness. Thinking that he saw either of those people is a nonsensical delusion. What's more, dwelling on that and eventually voicing the words aloud would undoubtedly upset Hyunjun further. 

They are to be family. Sangyeon isn't going to risk making this small child's heart hurt any further. 

"Our family will be happy," Sangyeon promises. "You, and Jaehyun, and I. We'll be happy." 

Hyunjun snuffles and buries his face in Sangyeon’s chest. He cries near silently for a long time and Sangyeon carefully holds him. His son is shedding tears. It isn't fair. Sangyeon wishes he could make the happiness start now. 

Jaehyun creeps into the bedroom wearing a wobbly smile. His expression falls even further from a smile and he almost drops the tray of ice cream tubs he is carrying. He rushes into the room and Sangyeon wonders just how pathetic he looks. 

"Whatever happened to my beautiful, wonderful trophy husband and my adorable, smart son?" Jaehyun exclaims. He plonks the ice cream tray on the end of the bed and puts his hands on his hips to frown down at the two of them. "We have ice cream! You can't cry! There's ice cream! We have pink spoons and everything!" 

Hyunjun sits up and sniffles as he scrubs his arm over his tear-streaked face. "Do pink spoons make ice cream taste nicer?" 

"What?" Jaehyun squawks, face aghast. "Sangyeon, are you hearing this?" 

Sangyeon most certainly is hearing this. He shuffles to try to sit up but after the rehabilitation session with Jisoo today he still doesn't have the strength in his body to coordinate his movements properly. Jaehyun helps and presses a kiss to Sangyeon’s forehead between his mutters about his utter disbelief. 

"Pink spoons mean it is good ice cream. It's very nice." 

"Baskin Robbins!" Jaehyun exclaims. 

Hyunjun blinks slowly. "What does that flavour taste like?" 

"Sangyeon, tell him," Jaehyun groans as he flops onto the bed dramatically. Hyunjun begins to look concerned but Sangyeon offers a smile and beckons him closer. Cautiously, Hyunjun crawls across the bed and slips under the covers beside Sangyeon. 

"Hyunjun, there are lots of flavours to try. Let's eat before Jaehyun gets up again." 

Jaehyun sits bolt upright and scowls at Sangyeon. "You're so evil. Beautiful and evil." 

"I love you too," Sangyeon says sincerely. Immediately, Jaehyun ducks his head and smiles shyly. 

"Alright, fine," Jaehyun sighs. He is doing a terrible job of looking like he doesn't care as he reaches for the tray of ice cream and moves it towards Sangyeon and Hyunjun. "I love you. Hyunjun, tell your dad about what we did whilst he was out."

Hyunjun hesitates around the word 'dad' and eventually avoids it altogether as he quietly explains about how they made up his bed with superhero patterned sheets, and that they unpacked his things into draws and they had begun planning just how the bedroom was going to be decorated. 

Jaehyun pretends not to listen as he focuses on eating the ice cream, however Sangyeon knows he hasn't really zoned-out. He really is perfect. At times like this he seems too close to humble, though Sangyeon wants nothing more than to let him know how grateful he is. 

Perhaps Jaehyun doesn't see it as such a huge thing, especially as he was the one pointing pistols at Sangyeon and asking for a child, but this child is special. Hyunjun has lived a life no child should have endured. Just a morning alone with Jaehyun has Hyunjun explaining something so terribly mundane that Sangyeon could forget that someone forced him to soak his hands in blood. Jaehyun makes Hyunjun feel like a normal child. Whilst Sangyeon is unable to do the same, he couldn't be happier to have Jaehyun with him. He couldn't be happier to have been saved from his old life at least for this long. 

Once the ice cream has been finished, Jaehyun and Hyunjun both desperately scraping at the cardboard tub to scrape up the dregs of the ice cream despite the task being fruitless, Sangyeon says, "Should we try to think of what else we should buy for your room, Hyunjun?" 

"No," Jaehyun says quickly. "Before that, Hyunjun go and get changed to show your dad your cute little costume that I bought you." 

Hyunjun looks reluctant but after a little nudge he climbs off the bed and goes off to his room to transform. Jaehyun sighs and takes the newly vacated spot beside Sangyeon under the covers. 

"Looks like we have five minutes of daddy alone time so—" 

"I just remembered I have something very important to do far away from you," Sangyeon says. 

"Okay, sorry," Jaehyun says, folding with a little laugh. He grasps Sangyeon’s hand as though he needs to physically hold on to prevent him from leaving. Sangyeon can't imagine leaving, not even when Jaehyun says, "I don't think you're going to like what I have to tell you." 

"I don't like a lot of things you say," Sangyeon says carefully, trying his hardest not to let the dread pinching his chest shut affect the way his words come out. "That just now about daddy alone time; I hated that."

Jaehyun smiles, almost looking defeated, and tips his head back against the wall. "You might hate this more. Jiwoo said that she met someone in the queue for ice cream. They gave her an envelope that she gave to me. She swears up and down that she didn't know what was inside. She wouldn't tell me who gave it to her either. When I opened the envelope it was the paperwork so that I have official guardianship of Hyunjun."

Jaehyun pauses and waits. Sangyeon doesn't say anything. Jaehyun squeezes his hand tighter. 

"You didn't have a funny turn, or whatever Jiwoo said happened," Jaehyun says quietly. He trails a graceful finger to follow the peaks and troughs of Sangyeon’s knuckles before entirely covering his hand. "Who did you see? Who gave Jiwoo that envelope?" 

Whether Sangyeon says anything or not, he is on the cusp of losing everything. He has only had Jaehyun for a couple of months. It isn't enough. He has only had Hyunjun for one day. He needs more time. This isn't fair. 

"The agent I killed," Sangyeon manages to admit through the tightness of his jaw. "She… I think she was Hyunjun’s handler. She wasn't dead." 

Jaehyun closed his eyes and exhales sharply. "Great. So she is, or was, working at the same agency as us. We know Creker was working both sides of the same case. And she's also the aunt, right?" 

"It's over, right?" Sangyeon asks. 

"No," Jaehyun whispers. He draws Sangyeon’s hands to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of his hand. "No way. We can work this out." 

"If they've found us, you'll have to take Hyunjun and go." 

The easiest way around this would be to burn the flat. Jaehyun could work out the technicalities of bodies. Otherwise he could simply vanish in the night and leave Sangyeon behind. Regardless of whether he was privy to the plans, Sangyeon wouldn't breathe a word to anyone who came looking. 

Jaehyun's expression solidifies and he turns face-on. "No. Don't you dare say anything like that, Sangyeon." 

"I'd slow you down. You have to leave me." 

"I won't," Jaehyun hisses. He frees his hands from their cluster around Sangyeon’s and he holds Sangyeon’s face in his palms. "I wouldn't ever leave you behind. If we have to go, we're all going together." 

Right now Sangyeon can't breathe. There isn't anybody else on earth who can make Sangyeon glad to feel this way. Being left behind is a nightmare after everything which brought the two of them here, yet Jaehyun refuses to allow the darkness of this dream seep in. And Sangyeon wants to be selfish. 

If Sangyeon were a good person he would insist on the right thing. He would stay here whilst Jaehyun and Hyunjun escape from the watch of their old keepers. Sangyeon isn't a good person. He never has been a good person, so he curses the numbness in his fingers as he holds Jaehyun tight. 

"I will do anything for you," Sangyeon whispers. 

"Then stay with me." 

Sangyeon nods. He breathes in against the scrape of teeth in his lungs. 

He needs to remember how to breathe. He needs to be normal for Hyunjun when he comes back into the bedroom dressed as Spiderman. 

Sangyeon is going to be even more selfish. He needs to be with both of his heroes. 

The crowd of parents milling around the school playground is imbued with ennui. Waiting for the bell to ring is something Sangyeon has patience for on days like this. Standing under a spritz of rain is no bother. He loves the waiting as much as he loves anything else. Standing here he can take a moment to recall the timetable of the day. 

Literacy, numeracy, P.E. for the morning. The afternoon is harder to keep track of. Sangyeon can ask. It won't matter. 

The school bell rings. Sangyeon straightens up and looks out for the familiar figure of Hyunjun’s class teacher to appear from behind the forest of umbrellas and seasonable jackets. This sort of waiting tests Sangyeon’s patience too much. He wants to see his son. He wants to hear all about Hyunjun’s day.

Seeing the other classes line up on the playground, Sangyeon feels his last thread of patience snap. He spies his little Hyunjun. He looks adorable in his uniform. Jaehyun might laugh at him for conducting little photoshoots with Hyunjun every morning but he is just as bad. 

Moving abroad, Sangyeon knows it has been hard for Hyunjun. He is young. He is learning the language despite taking baby steps with approaching potential friends. Eventually there will be friends who will want playdates and will be welcoming towards Hyunjun. There will be plenty of friends in future. 

When Hyunjun can sidle up to his teacher and point out Sangyeon he can run across the asphalt, his backpack slipping from his shoulders, and leaps into Sangyeon’s arms. Sangyeon stands up, holding his son in his arms. 

"Hey, did you have a good day at school, baby?" 

Hyunjun nods and tugs on Sangyeon’s ear. 

"Daddy, I talked to someone today." 

"You did?" Sangyeon asks, a knot in his chest catching between his ribs as he begins walking back to the car. "That's great, baby. Did… did the person hear you? Was it another kid?" 

"I asked to borrow a pencil sharpener." 

"Well done! I am so proud of you." 

Hyunjun smiles, his tiny little teeth peeking from behind his thin pink lips. "Daddy, because I did well, can I have a reward? 

Sangyeon hesitates. Rewards are intended for the occasions where Hyunjun builds himself up to engaging in an actual conversation with a classmate. This doesn't satisfy Sangyeon’s criteria. Unfortunately, there is a completely different box that this little request ticks. 

"Hyunjun," Sangyeon says, trying his hardest to sound cross despite the rain getting in his eyes. "You know you shouldn't ask for rewards. I can't say no to you." 

"Please don't tell dad." 

"That sounds a lot like telling fibs," Sangyeon points out. 

"Please," Hyunjun says, voice stretching the syllable out far too long for Sangyeon to resist. He sighs. 

"Fine. What do you want." 

"I want to go to the park." 

Sangyeon laughs. "It's raining." 

"Five minutes." 

Building a playground right outside a school sounds like poor planning to Sangyeon, however his back is beginning to ache from carrying Hyunjun all the way out of the school gates. The rain isn't too heavy. Five minutes won't hurt. 

Sangyeon doesn't know how long the five minutes stretches but by the time he and Hyunjun finally get into the car they are both drenched. Hyunjun is snivelling and sneezing and Sangyeon highly doubts that all that time spent playing on his own was worth it. The other parents who hurried their children past the playground must think Sangyeon ridiculous for indulging this sort of wish on a rainy day, yet he finds he never learns this particular lesson. He just can't say no to Hyunjun. 

The problem with being unable to say no to Hyunjun is that Jaehyun's suspicions are aroused by absolutely anything in the world. 

Today, the first thing Jaehyun says when he gets home is, "You're very clean." 

His text not to bother cooking hadn't been him volunteering himself. He has brought food home despite the fact they are on a very tight budget. He already suspected something before Hyunjun had run to the front door and started reporting on how brave he has been at school. 

Home is only two rooms and a bathroom. There isn't much time to attempt to hide Hyunjun in his fluffy blue dressing gown as once the key is turning in the door. In fact, the bathroom is still full of condensation though Sangyeon had thrown the tiny window open to the thickening evening downpour. Jaehyun's skills of deduction haven't depreciated in the time since they all died the last time. 

He works it all out. 

"Close your eyes," Jaehyun instructs as he is unpacking dinner from the paper bag he brought home. "I need to give your daddy a super secret punishment." 

Hyunjun sighs and claps his hands over his eyes. Jaehyun presses a steaming container of food into Sangyeon’s hands and drops a kiss on his lips. 

"You're spoiling our son," Jaehyun whispers through a smile. 

"You'd do the same," Sangyeon asserts. Jaehyun can't deny that. He smiles wider, brightness leaking from his mouth before he kisses Sangyeon again. 

"Let's eat," Jaehyun suggests, changing the subject. 

The three of them settle down to eat dinner whilst sitting on the deflated old sofa that was in this tiny flat when they first moved in. 

They all end up scratching their heads over Hyunjun’s homework and then they play and watch TV. Life is simple. Until the next time they need to move, identities and permission to exist determined by faceless pursuers, Sangyeon can enjoy the way things are.