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Language:
English
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Published:
2021-05-06
Completed:
2021-05-06
Words:
349
Chapters:
9/9
Comments:
1
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17

Hellmann's Mayonnaise

Summary:

What if I wrote a fanfic about Hellmann's Mayonnaise, the product I am forced to market and advertise for to complete a marketing module? I am channeling my forced obsession about this stupid product into a fanfic

Chapter 1: Xavier

Chapter Text

"Hellmann's mayonnaise?" I asked.

 

"Yeah, got a problem with that?"

 

Xavier lifted the jar.

 

"No." I said.

 

He smirked and armed me to the bed.

Chapter 2: Jon

Chapter Text

"Hellmann's-"

 

"Mayo? Duh." Jon said.

 

He held out a sandwich dripping with a white-yellow gooey substance. He took a sloppy bite which forced some of the goo out of the bread.

 

"Augh." I said as I heard the audible splat on the plate.

 

"I bet you like them creamy."

Chapter 3: Time

Chapter Text

"Hellmann's-"

 

I looked around.

 

"What?"

 

The room was grey and dark. I reached out to touch the wall.

 

"I don't feel any different..."

 

"Hmm, it feels... stoney."

 

A light echo pierced the silence.

 

"Hard. Heh, I wish."

Chapter 4: Space

Chapter Text

The crunching noises filled my head. My legs burned and my shoes were on fire. My hands were pierced with a thousand thorns and my head was dry as ice.

 

"I wish."

 

The darkness moved in the close distance. The air was as still as time.

Chapter 5: 9

Chapter Text

The white, fluffy puff flew around me, swirling and swirling in every direction. The clear blue ground drew ever close, clear and the marble sky.

 

My face peeled right off. Yet, I felt nothing.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

A loud, sharp steamy roar filled my ears. I could feel the hard, solid surface against my back and my chin. It was a cold, familiar touch. It was the constant in my mind.

 

"Harry. Harry!"

 

I really should stop reading those audiobooks.

Chapter 7: Table

Chapter Text

"I just want some hard wood." I sighed.

 

I slumped down on the comfortable, peeling surface. It was smooth as rope and cold as a toad.

 

"Then wish for it."

 

A faceless man placed a shimmering lamp.

 

I could hear it glisten.

Chapter 8: Answers

Chapter Text

My face was warm as bees in honey. I breathed as easily underwater. My hands were cold and rough as thunder. My eyes were blurred and dark as plunder.

 

I knew I was where I wanted to be.

I know that now is the time to see.

Chapter 9: Home

Chapter Text

"Where am I? What's happening?"

 

"..."

 

"But it has to be time. What else can it be?"

 

"Who says you're traveling through time."

 

"But time doesn't wor-"