Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Samstag 19:27

The cold air was tickling Fatous face, bringing a blush to her cheeks and nose.

Her skateboard rolled over the wet, slightly uneven ground of the street leading to Ava and Noras apartment. Soft music played through her headphones, seducing her into daydreams of better days.

It was cold in Berlin. It had been for weeks now, which was pretty predictable since it was December but this year it had been oddly extreme. It was probably climate change. The planet was dying and everyone knew but still no one seemed to care. Everyone was too caught up in their own lives with their own little words that had other problems.

Fatou didn’t know if she could even blame the people for doing that. She found it pretty understandable. The earth was dying and it was scary. So everyone distracted themselves. And now they had to live with the consequences.

Fatou was no exception to that rule, she knew that herself. Instead of saving the planet she thought about her friends, her family, her dyscalculia which made school pretty challenging for her and about girls. 

Fatou had come out 3 years ago. She even had a girlfriend, who broke up with her a few months into the relationship. Fatou had been heartbroken, she had thought that she would never be able to fall in love again. She wasn’t being dramatic on purpose, it was just who she was. Some people admired her for her strong emotionality and empathy, others found it annoying.

She got over the girl eventually.

Fatous board came to a stop when she arrived at the familiar home of her friends. She picked it up, whistling the melody of the song that played in her ear and pressed the doorbell. When the buzzer sounded, she pushed it open and made her way to the right apartment door.

“Hey Chibi!”, Ava greeted her from afar.

Fatou replied with a genuine smile and pulled the headphones out of her ears.

She closed the distance between her and her best friend as she hugged Ava.

After they pulled away Fatou got rid of her shoes and her coat and she followed Ava into the living room.

There Fatou was greeted by Mailin and Nora. The girls had been best friends for a few months now and went by the crew name “Cashqueens”.

“Fatou what took you so long?”, Mailin wondered and immediately added, “did you get lost? Was my question inappropriate ?”

Ever since Fatou had gotten her dyscalculia diagnosis a few months ago her friends had been very aware and careful about what they said, not wanting to disrespect and hurt Fatou.

Fatou shook and head and chuckled. “No, no. Don’t worry, I didn’t get lost. Ilai just wanted to show me a musician he discovered and it took a bit longer than expected”

“Was he at least good? The musician ?”, Nora wanted to know.

“Not at all”, Fatou snorted and dropped down next to the blonde girl. 

The girls giggled and turned the conversation into easy smalltalk, telling each other everything that had happened to them recently.

Ava and Nora talked about their boyfriends and Mailin talked about her parents. Fatou was the only one that didn’t talk. Not because she didn’t want to but because there was no space for her to jump into the conversation.

That happened a lot of times. Not because her friends didn’t care about her or anything because they definitely did and when it was important they always listened and tried to help her but simply because Fatou was a little more naturally introverted and easily overlooked.

So she simply sat there, enjoying the easy mood and presence of her friends and let her thoughts drift away.

“Josh invited me to join him for his summer vacation in Spain next year.”, Nora announced excitedly.

“And what did you say?”, Ava asked .

“YES, obviously.”, Nora grinned, “I am so excited !”

“And where in Spain exactly ?”, Mailin wondered.

Just when Nora was about to answer, the front door slammed open, almost pushing a picture of the wall. Giggles and whispering filled the silence and Fatou immediately recognized the voices.

It was Zoe and Kieu My. Zoe was Noras sister, she lived in the apartment as well. And Kieu My....well there was a lot to say about Kieu My. 

Firstly, she was Zoes best friend. They were inseparable and almost spent every free second together. And where Zoe and Kieu My were, probably also were Ismail, Constantin and Finn, aka the ‘instas’.

They were the most popular clique in school, everyone either feared them or wanted to be them. In most of the cases, both. Constantin and Ismail were the main problem. They liked to harass and make fun of students they found weak or that gave them any kind of counter. 

Finn and Kieu My were mostly bystanders, who rarely ever started an argument but never hesitated to go along with their members actions. And well Zoe seemed a little out of place. She actually was a nice person. Fatou had always wondered why she was friends with the others.

The instas were pretty intimidating and always took what they wanted. And since Ava had had bad blood with them (especially Ismail and Constantin) since last year, they never got along with the Cashqueens.

Based on that information one would probably think that Kieu My was just a basic popular hot girl. That was partly correct, she was pretty popular and pretty much everyone was into her ...and she was pretty much with everyone as well...but she was also surprisingly smart. 

She always had perfect grades and was the teachers favorite. Aside from that, Fatou didn’t know a thing about Kieu My. But she was not the only one, no one knew who she was and nobody ever seemed to care.

“Hello princesses.”, Zoe slurred when she spotted the girls and dragged Kieu My to the living room.

Fatou felt Ava tense next to her and gave her a calming look.

Nora swallowed audibly. “I thought you wanted to quit drinking.”

“I know, but it was Ismail's birthday and everyone was drinking so I didn’t wanna seem impolite”, Zoe explained.

“Oh yeah? Kieu My seems pretty sober to me and she was also on that party”, Nora countered and crossed her arms.

“Nori, stop being so annoying. I am fine okay? I’m not Mama”

The room fell into an awkward silence. Everyone knew that Nora and Zoes mother was an alcoholic. Therefore Nora was very sensitive about that topic.

Fatou let her gaze shift from Nora to Zoe who was leaning against the doorframe, seeming spaced out. Kieu My wrapped her fingers around Zoes arm and pulled her back on her feet. 

“I will take her to her bed.”, she mumbled.

Fatou allowed her gaze to rest on her face. 

Kieu My as pretty. Everyone knew that, everyone saw it but she still found it unbelievable sometimes how she could look good in every possible scenario. Her hair was messy and wet from the rain, her clothes were stained and smelled like weed and her makeup was messed up but still she looked like she came straight out of a magazine.

Kieu My suddenly met Fatous gaze and the smaller girl’s breath hitched. She quickly lowered her eyes, embarrassed by being caught staring at Kieu My.

She almost expected Kieu My to make a comment about it but the taller girl seemed to just let it go since when Fatou looked up again she was already on her way out, supporting Zoes weight and leading her towards her room.

As soon as they were out of vision, the Cashqueens looked at each other.

Fatou placed her hand on top of Noras. “I’m sorry. She didn’t mean it.”, she assured her friend.

“I know. I am just scared. What if she ends up like my mom? I mean it’s certainly in my bloodline...wait is being alcoholic genetic?”

“No, don’t worry. Maybe its just her way of coping with what is happening with your mom right now. Just talk to her when she is sober again”, Fatou suggested.

Nora silently agreed. “Thank you. You always know what to say”

Fatou chuckled and hugged her. “Well, I try my best.”

Ava and Mailin insistently talked to Nora, trying to calm her down.

“Um girls, I think I need to use the bathroom.”, Fatou spoke up. She had drank an entire bottle of water at home and forgot to use the toilet then so now it was urgent.

“Sure, go.”

“Don’t fall in Chibi”

Fatou giggled and stood up, walking to the bathroom.

She passed Zoes door and stopped but didn’t hear anything. She assumed the girls already went to bed.

Fatou pushed the bathroom door open and froze when she saw that it was already occupied.

Kieu My stared back at her. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, her face clean. It seemed like she had just taken her makeup off. Fatou had never seen her without makeup. It was weird, it was different. But she still looked stunning, Fatou even found it more beautiful that way.

“Uh. Sorry. I needed to pee. I didn’t know that someone was here. I will just wait.”, Fatou stammered and moved to close the door but was interrupted by Kieu My.

“It’s fine, I am almost done.”

So Fatou stood still and watched Kieu My drying off her face with a towel. 

She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. Even though she didn’t really have a problem with the instas or Kieu My in particular, she still felt uncomfortable in her presence.

She had noticed a lot of mean things the instas had said and done and she didn’t want to become a victim of their actions.

She stared at the ground, not daring to blink and listened to the low sounds Kieu My produced while finishing her skin care routine.

The silence was deafening, it hurt her ears so she spoke: “Is Zoe okay?”

She heard a scoff. “Like any of you really give a shit about us”

Fatou felt her heart beating violently, a brush rising to her cheeks in embarrassment.

God, why didn’t I just shut up?

Suddenly a pair of socks made their way into her vision field and she looked up, directly in front of Kieu My.

“Look Fatou, we don’t have to do this weird smalltalk thing okay? You can go pee, I’m done here anyways.

With that she pushed her way out of the bathroom, her shoulder brushing Fatous, and slowly disappeared into the hallway, the dark swallowing her.

Fatou stared into the distance, hoping to catch a glimpse off the other girl again but eventually gave up and went to the toilet.

When she returned to her friends, she was greeted with a chuckle from Mailin.

“Jesus Fatou, you look like you just saw a ghost”

Fatou looked over her shoulder again. “Yeah, I think I might have.”

Montag 10:18

“Okay everyone, grab a partner and do the clapping rhythm you just created together. Maybe it will become a magical beat?”

Fatou tried hard not to roll her eyes. She hated music class, which was kind of ironic since she loved to write songs and sing them in her free time but the topics they had in music class in her school simply made her cringe.

I mean seriously...we are in 11th grade and clapping our hands together will get us an A ?

She chose to let it go. Whether she liked it or not, she had to do whatever was expected from her. With her low score in math she could use every good grade she could get.

So she turned to Ava and clapped her rhythm while Ava clapped hers. It sounded awful, they didn’t match at all but the teacher still gave them an excited smile and a thumbs up.

Sometimes Fatou wondered if he was just pretending or if he was on some kind of drug. There was no other option.

“That was WONDERFUL”, Mr Rose exclaimed.

“No it wasn’t”, Ava whispered, making Fatou chuckle quietly.

“Now we switch. The parters on the left go to the next person, please move in clockwise direction”.

Fatou groaned internally but obeyed and took a step back. Ava gave her a sympathetic look and left her side.

Luckily, Josh was Fatou’s next partner. Ever since he and Nora started dating they had gotten along very well. Maybe they weren’t really friends yet but they got along well so Fatou was glad when he appeared in front of her.

Her rhythm with Josh was a little better than her rhythm with Ava but it still sounded like someone tripped and fell into a drum kit. Josh gave her an apologetic smile and moved to the next partner.

After having tried making an acceptable rhythm combination with 4 more people in her class Fatou was annoyed. Her head hurt from the constant sound of clapping all around the room and she was frustrated by the stupid exercise they had to do.

“And switch please”

Fatou let her hands drop down next to her sides and gave her current partner a short nod. She didn’t really care who was next in line now, she just wanted the lesson to be over.

She heard footsteps approach and turned her head to welcome her next partner.

When she saw who was approaching her, her body froze.

Kieu My looked just as pissed as her. She didn’t even bother to look up from the ground.

Fatou swallowed hard, nervousness rising in her stomach. 

Just don’t talk then she has no reason to hate you.

But of course her mouth failed her again.

“Hey.”, she blurted out, receiving Kieu My’s attention.

The taller girl didn’t look surprised at all, almost like she expected Fatou to stand there. Her eyebrows rose and she wordlessly placed herself in front of Fatou.

Fatou felt incredibly uncomfortable again, why couldn’t she just shut up? 

“Okay, and please start”

Fatou tried to shake the nervousness off her and averted Kieu Mys gaze. She seriously expected the girl to just stay there in silence and wait for the next switch but to her surprise Kieu My spoke up.

“Are you gonna clap or what?”

Fatou looked up, the other girl already staring at her.

“Yeah, of course.”, she mumbled and brought her hands up. She started clapping and waited for Kieu My to join in so they could create another awful beat.

After a few seconds Kieu My clapped her rhythm too.

Fatou frowned when she noticed that this combination didn’t sound bad at all. It was actually really interesting. New and a little weird but it worked somehow.

Fatou brought her eyes up to check if Kieu My heard it too and found the tall girl already looking at her.

Neither of the girls broke the eye contact. Fatou felt completely mesmerized by Kieu Mys eyes, she had never noticed how there were black sprinkles in the warm brown tone. It looked familiar...almost like the night sky with all of its stars.

She didn’t think about how Kieu My probably hated her or how this could be awfully awkward for her , all she could think about was the sky. With all of its stars and the moon and...

“Okay, switch again. I heard some beautiful work there, Kieu My and Fatou!”, the teacher interrupted her thoughts.

Fatou snapped out of her trance and realized that she was full on staring at Kieu My. She quickly looked away, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

She heard Kieu My leave, not daring to look at the other girl again.

Her heart sped up.

She is gonna think I’m a creep now. Oh my god, she is gonna tell everyone 

Fatou threw a quick glance at the pair next to her. Kieu My was talking to a guy named Lasse, smiling widely and chuckling at whatever he said.

Maybe she didn’t even notice?

Mittwoch 16:17

“I missed this”

“Me too”

The sun was warm and golden, wrapping the friends into its soft embrace. Fatou and Nora were lying on the ground. Due to some construction work the entire street had been closed so there were no cars passing. The girls had agreed on meeting at the flat for a Cashqueens meeting but Ava had too much homework and Mailin canceled last minute to go to the cinema with her father. Fatou didn’t blame her at all. She knew how rare it was that her father wanted to spend time with her so she was happy for her friend that she got the opportunity.

So it was just Nora and her, just like in the beginning.

On the first day of 10th grade they had become seat mates and formed a friendship. Ava and Mailin had joined the group a few weeks later. 

Fatou and Nora used to spend every day like they were right now. Just laying around with some snacks and talking about the most random things. It was easy. It was nice. Fatou could finally relax and talk about her experiences. And Nora was an amazing listener.

“We really need to do this more often.”, Fatou said determined.

Nora agreed. “We do!”

The girls fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the smell of fresh air, the feeling of the cold air against their skin and the quiet sound of birds chirping.

Fatou reached over her head and took a slice of watermelon out of her box. It was easily her favorite snack. She could never get tired of it.

She offered Nora a piece, but the latter declined politely. So Fatou took a bite and closed her eyes, completely focusing on the delicious taste in her mouth.

The peaceful mood was interrupted by the sound of muffled voices and laughter.

Nora squeezed her eyes and brought up her hand to shield them from the light as she sat up to make out where the voices came from. Fatou copied her actions and turned her head towards the noise.

A group of people was walking on the street, clumsily trying to jump over the restriction band and falling to the ground. Fatou furrowed her brows when she heard a familiar laugh and saw wild black locks. It was Ismail who had tried to jump over the band. Constantin was trying to help him up but got pulled on the ground by the smaller boy. Zoe was holding her phone, probably recording a video for her Instagram story, Finn and Kieu My were laughing loudly.

Ismail and Constantin never officially labeled their relationship but everyone knew they were madly in love and only had eyes for each other.

Fatou looked at Nora, a slightly panicked expression on her face. She was wearing old clothes (with a coffee stain on her hoodie) and her hair was up in a messy bun.

“What are they doing here?”, Fatou mouthed.

Nora shrugged. 

Constantin and Ismail eventually managed to get up but proceeded to jokingly push or try to make each other trip.

As the Instas got closer, the nervousness in Fatou rose. She wasn’t prepared to encounter them today.

“Q, look who is here”, Ismail slurred and pointed at Fatou and Nora. Kieu My gave him a stern look and elbowed his side.

Fatou frowned but was given no chance to think, since Constantin suddenly reached down and snatched a bottle of water out of her hands.

“Look Issy, they got the best alcohol on the market”

He holds the bottle up to the sky so everyone could see.

“You know what I love most about this drink? You can chug it so easily”, he grinned, flicked the cap off and downed the bottle of water. Fatou gave Nora a confused look and pulled her knees to her chest, visibly uncomfortable.

Nora looked stunned and searched her sisters eyes.

“And after you got really drunk you can get Hangover coffee for free too.”, Ismail added and bend down, “see, right here, fresh from Fatous hoodie”

He earned giggles from Constantin and Finn. Kieu Mys lips were curled into a small smile.

Fatou blushed and tried to cover the stain. That’s what she meant when she said the Instas were mean. Whenever they noticed a flaw, they started picking on the person. Nobody knew why, they had always been that way.

“Can’t you just leave? Go somewhere else and...be assholes there.”, Nora spoke up and crossed her arms defensively.

“Woah, Zoe, your sister is growing up”, Ismail giggled and held their hands up jokingly.

Zoe looked torn, her eyes flickering between Nora and her friends.

Nora and Fatou exchanged a look and silently agreed on leaving. They got up and gathered their things but got interrupted by Constantins voice.

“Wait, sorry we will leave.

Nora turned around and rose her eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really....if...Fatou helps me with my math homework. I heard that she’s pretty gifted”

A cold shock ran through Fatous body and caused her to stop in her tracks. A shiver ran up her back. She had been struggling for years, blaming herself for her mathematical failures and thinking she was dumb. 

“Dude, stop. Its not her fault that she’s retarded.”, Ismail murmured.

The group fell into silence, everyone’s gaze on Fatou.

Kieu Mys smile dropped and she immediately looked at Fatou, a glimpse of....worry (?) in her eyes. Fatou felt her throat tighten and swallowed hard, trying to suppress her tears.

“That’s enough, she is my sisters friend guys.”, Zoe groaned and stormed off, followed by a tipsy confused Finn. 

That left the remaining part of the instas with Nora and Fatou. Fatou still hadn’t moved, her eyes were glued to the box of watermelon she was going to pick up.

Nora looked stressed, quietly checking on her friend.

Constantin was trying to keep Ismail on their feet, who retched and eventually threw up on the street. Kieu My still stood on her spot, motionless, her pair of eyes burning a hole into Fatous back.

Suddenly Fatou snapped out of her gaze and hurriedly picked up her stuff.

Nora decided to let it go and helped her.

Just when they were about to leave, Kieu My spoke up.

“Fatou...”, she started.

But the smaller girl interrupted her. “Just leave me alone”

Without looking back, Fatou walked towards Noras apartment, leaving Kieu My behind.

Donnerstag 17:37

“Please Ava”

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“I love you Chibi, but I can’t watch sappy shit like that”

Fatou pouted and fell back onto her best friends bed. 

“Titanic isn’t sappy. It’s...a tragedy.”

“I don’t care what it is I don’t want to watch it”, Ava chuckled.

“You suck”

“I baked you cookies and let you sleep over. Yes, I am awful”, Ava countered with a challenging tone.

“Okay, okay you are the best. Happy?”

“Very”

The girls chuckled and stared at the ceiling.

“Next time I see Ismail and their group I will fuck them up.”, Ava suddenly mumbled.

Fatou chuckled nervously. “Nah, don't give them the satisfaction. Be the bigger person”

Ava groaned. “But they deserve to be punished. Do you just wanna let them get away with this?”

Fatou shrugged.

“Chibi!”, Ava sat up and took Fatous hand, “that’s exactly what you shouldn’t do. Do anything but nothing. That’s how you stop bullies, don’t be silent!”

“I know. But I don’t know what to do, Ava. They were all drunk.”

“That’s not an excuse ! God, I hate them. Ismail, Constantin, Finn, Zoe, Kieu My....”

Fatou bit her lip. “Ismail and Constantin were the only ones who said something. Finn Zoe and Kieu My were just bystanders”

“They could have stepped in”

“But..”

“No”, Ava interrupted her, “stop trying to defend it. They are all fucking assholes.”

Fatou didn’t say anything to that and only slowly nodded.

“If I had been there I swear to god-“

“It’s fine Ava.”, Fatou rolled her eyes jokingly, “do I have to put you on a leash?”

“You should if you want to save Ismail's soft skin from bite marks.”, Ava shrugged, making Fatou laugh.

The girls fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the soft sound of cars driving by from Avas open window.

Right after the incident Fatou had called Ava, who was furious, and slept at her house. She really appreciated her best friend for always being there for her. Sometimes she wondered if she told her that enough.

Suddenly Avas ringtone disturbed the silence. 

“It’s Marc. I’m gonna decline.”, Ava muttered after checking her phone.

Fatou shook her head. “No, accept.”

“Sure?”, Ava wanted to know.

“Of course. Marc is cool. I really don’t mind, for real.”

Ava shot her one last questioning glance before accepting the FaceTime call.

Marcs face appeared on the screen. He looked a little tired but smiled as soon as he saw Ava.

Ava and Marc got to know each other at the table tennis bar the Cashqueens occasionally went to. The boy had crushed on her ever since they first met. Ava had been a little suspicious at first, but eventually realized that she felt the same. Their relationship was still very new, they had been dating for a few weeks now, and they were very much head over heels with each other. Seeing Ava so happy made Fatou happy as well. Marc was a nice, honest guy and treated Ava like the queen she was.

“Hey”, he greeted his girlfriend with a raspy voice.

Fatou grinned. Did he actually just wake up?

“Hi. Fatou is here.”, Ava answered and turned the phone so Marc could see Fatou as well.

“Oh, hey Fatou! How are you?”, he said excitedly, waving.

“I am fine. And you?”

“I kinda just woke up from a nap but uh...very good, thank you”

“Wait”, Ava interrupted, “you took a nap? I thought you wanted to do French homework ?”

Marc smiled goofily and scratched the back of his head. “I know....but I was so exhausted from today...I will do it later,  promise.”

Ava rolled her eyes, trying to seem annoyed but a small smile was on her face already.

“I promise.”, Marc repeated.

“Okay, okay. I couldn’t be angry with you anyways.”, Ava mumbled and grinned at her phone.

Fatou suddenly felt like the third wheel so she excused herself to the bathroom in order to give the couple some alone time.

She sat down on the closed toilet seat and took a deep breath.

Ismail's words had really hurt her. Luckily, today at school the Instas hadn’t given her any more shit. They didn’t apologize either, but Fatou hadn’t expected them to either. She didn’t want to deal with the Instas anymore, ever.

Her phone buzzing caught her attention.

1 new Message from [Unknown number]

Fatou furrowed her brows and opened the message.

?: 131 BAR, Chausseestraße 131A, 10pm, come and bring your friends if you want

Fatou furrowed her brows. She knew the club but why was she invited there by an unknown number. She clicked on the profile picture and felt her heart making a big jump when she saw who it was.

Kieu My posed next to a car, Ismail sitting on the hood and holding their middle finger up.

Fatou swallowed audibly. Should she answer? Should she tell her friends ? Probably.

She thought for a moment before opening the Cashqueens group chat and typing:

Fatou: do u guys wanna go to a party tomorrow ?

Freitag 22:04

“Are you sure it’s 131 BAR?”, Mailin mumbled.

Fatou took another look at her phone and nodded. “Why?”

“Well, it says that it’s a private event.”, Ava added and pointed at the paper at the door.

Fatou shrugged. “And?”

“Sorry, didn't know you were suddenly friends with special VIP clubbers who invite you to private events”, Nora joked.

Fatou placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. Even though my new friends are super cool and old and rich and ‘special VIP clubbers’ I will always love your simple asses more”, she countered, earning a slap on the arm from Ava and a middle finger from Mailin.

“Wanna go in?”, Nora suggested. The friends agreed and walked to the door.

After exchanging a short glance, Fatou knocked. A man opened the door and eyed them.

“Sorry, this is a private party”

“I know. I was invited.”, Fatou explained.

“Who invited you?”, the man asked.

“Kieu My Vu”.

Fatou couldn’t see the faces of her friends but could imagine what they looked like right now. Pure shock and confusion. 

“Okay, come inside.”, the security guard invited them in. As soon as he was out of sight, Fatou felt fingers wrap around her arm.

“Are you nuts?”, Mailin mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Dude, why didn’t you tell us that this is a party from the Instas?”, Ava groaned.

“Guys, chill. There are other people, too. Yara for example . And in the end of the day a party is a party isn’t it?”, Fatou tried to calm her friends down.

“But what about Wednesday ?”

Fatous body tensed a little at the memory but she shrugged. “Like I said, it’s a party. And what is a better revenge than ruining the Instas private party?”

Her friends still didn’t seem completely convinced but let themselves be pulled down the hall by Fatou.

It turned out that Fatou was right. There were a lot of people. Fatou didn’t know most of them. She recognized a few people from school but they were mostly seniors. She checked the crowd, trying to find Yara.

Yara and her had been friends since 5th grade. They even tried a relationship in 9th grade when they both discovered their queerness, but quickly realized that they were better of as friends.

Ever since they had been friends and even though they were in different friend groups now, their connection was still very strong and Fatou felt safe around her.

Loud music was playing, dominating the sound of voices in the room. Fatou didn’t mind loud music, she actually really loved. It was like she wasn't only hearing the music, but also feeling it.

The Cashqueens stared at the jumping crowd in front of them.

“And now?”, Mailin asked.

“Fatou is right”, Ava spoke up and put a piece of hair behind her ear, “it’s a party. So, I am gonna dance”. With that she disappeared into the mass of dancing bodies. Nora shrugged and followed her. Mailin and Fatou exchanged looks before joining them. As soon as Fatou entered the crowd, she lost sight of her friends. She tried to push her way through and search them but gave up that plan after a few moments.

Im gonna meet them later somewhere

So she started moving her body to the music and tilted her head back, enjoying the adrenaline shocking through her body.

After 4 songs, she was panting and sweaty from jumping non-stop and decided that it was now time to drink something and rest for some time.

She wiggled her way out of the crowd and approached the bar.

“Water 1,50€”, she read out and dug into her purse.

“Fatou?”. Fatou looked up and gulped at the sight.

Ismail stood in front of her, surprisingly sober.

“Hi.”, was Fatous response.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, Kieu My invited me”

“Right.”

Fatou frowned. Did they not know that she was there? Had Kieu My not told them?

“Well, I am just gonna get some water and then I will go back there”, she nodded towards the dance floor, “so no need for you to...you know...stick around or anything”

Ismail bit their lip and stared off into the distance. Fatou wasn’t sure if they were thinking or just not listening to her.

“Nah, look, I am a good host. I will get your water”, Ismail offered suddenly.

“Uh, no, it’s fine.”, Fatou tried to decline the offer but Ismail insisted so she eventually gave in.

After a few moments Ismail appeared, a mischievous smile on their face and the glass in their hand.

“Here you go”.

“Thanks?”. Fatou furrowed her brows and nipped at her drink. Luckily, it tasted normal. Fatou had feared that Ismail would get her something strongly alcoholic instead.

“Drink up, you need to be hydrated if you want to keep up with these animals”, they chuckled.

All Fatou got out was a small, forced smile and downed the rest of the glass.

“Thanks for the water”, she mumbled and left Ismail at the bar.

Fatou was quick the join the crowd again. She threw her hands up in the air and sang the song that was playing loudly. She felt happy, euphoric even. She didn’t know where the feeling came from but she was certainly not complaining.

Suddenly she spotted a familiar piece of black hair in the crowd. Kieu My was dancing a few meters away from her, arms around a guys neck. Fatou noticed him. It was Lasse, the guy from her music class. Kieu My swayed her hips to the beat, pressing herself against Lasses body, fingers scratching his neck, her face dangerously close to his.

Fatou didn’t want to stare but she couldn’t look away. The scene mesmerized her. 

She didn’t even bother to hide her glance. 

Kieu My put her head back, giving Lasse access to her neck. As he was attacking it like his life depended on it, her slightly tilted her head to the side until she was looking directly at Fatou.

This time was different than music class. Fatou didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed, she didn’t feel anything to be honest. She felt everyone else disappear. Everyone except her, Kieu My and Lasse.

Kieu My also didn’t take her eyes off the smaller girl. Her hand stroked Lasses hair, but her eyes were on Fatou.

Fatou felt a familiar jolt in her lower abdomen. 

Kieu My eventually broke the eye contact and pulled away in order to connect her and Lasses’ lips in a kiss.

Fatou was still looking but slowly the people around her came back, the loud music almost hurt her ears and she felt the ground below her feet again.

She averted her gaze but caught a glance at the other girl again a few minute later. Kieu My was still making out with Lasse and for some reason she felt a sting of jealousy in her stomach.

The sting became stronger and stronger, it felt like her organs got ripped out. Her vision got blurry and she was barely able to dance anymore.

She suddenly felt the need to throw up and hurried to the bathroom.

Did I eat something rotten today?

She almost bumped into two walls on her way. Somehow the entire world was spinning under her and even though it was so scary, it felt so good.

When she finally arrived in the bathroom, it didn’t take her long to throw up. She missed the toilet, vomiting next to it. After she was done, she leaned against the wall, feeling incredibly exhausted.

The light was suddenly too bright, the voices outside too loud and the wall too hard.

Fatou groaned frustrated and rested her head against her palm.

She heard the door open but didn’t bother to look up.

“Jesus, Fatou, are you okay?”

Fatou looked up, a wide-eyed Kieu My in front of her stall.

“Heyyy”, Fatou answered and waved, which she found incredibly funny.

Kieu My crouched and examined Fatou. “How much did you drink?”, she mumbled.

“Juuuust one water”, Fatou answered.

Kieu My frowned. “A water?”

Fatou nodded. “I don’t like alcohol, it gets me sick fast. I just had water. Ismail bought it for me.”

Kieu My looked her in the eyes. “Ismail bought it?”, she asked.

“Yuppp”, Fatou slurred.

Kieu My nodded and pressed the back of her hand against Fatous forehead. She then stood up and prepared a wet paper towel, which she pressed against Fatous cheeks, forehead and neck.

“Your hair looks nice”, Fatou mumbled and twirled a strand of Kieu Mys hair between her fingers.

Kieu My didn’t say anything. She took her purse and pulled a small water bottle out.

“Here, take a sip. It will help”, she demanded.

“Normal water or weird Ismail water?”

“Normal water”

“Sure?”

“Yes”

“Okay”

Fatou took a few sips of the water, enjoying the feeling of the cold liquid running down her throat.

“Can you stand up?”, Kieu My asked. Fatou shrugged.

“I can try.”, she offered.

So she was pulled on her feet by Kieu My. 

“Can you walk?”

Fatou took a big step forwards but her knees folded in like a piece of paper, almost making her fall if Kieu My hadn’t caught her.

“Okay, where is Ava?”, Kieu My asked.

“I don’t know....everywhere!”

“Alright, she’s gone gone”, Kieu My mumbled quietly.

Without another word she pulled Fatous arms around her shoulder to support her weight and dragged her outside.

The fresh air felt good, it definitely helped with the nausea.

“Are your parents home?”, Kieu My wanted to know.

“Probably.”

Kieu My nodded and looked around, like she was looking for something. Suddenly her gaze settled on something and her expression hardened.

She lowered Fatou to the ground. “Sit here. Don’t lie down, try not to fall asleep and stay there. I will be back in a few moments”

Fatou let out an agreeing hum.

She heard the girls footsteps and her angry voice.

“What the fuck Ismail?”

“Hey Q, what’s up?”, another familiar voice sounded.

“Did you put something in Fatous drink?”

“Why? Is she high or something ? Because I’m pretty sure she is a stoner”

“Did. you. put. something. in. her. drink?”

“Yeah, I did okay?”

“What did you put in there?”

“Just half an ecstasy pill Q, chill. It was just for fun.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“What? It was just a joke”

“Do you even realize how dangerous it is? She is totally wasted.”

“She will survive it. It was half a pill, damn it.”

“Fuck you, grow up and stop being a little bitch Ismail”

Fatou had her eyes closed when she noticed Kieu My approaching her again.

“Fatou? Whats your address?”

“I’m super tired. I will just take a nap right here, it’s so comfy!”, Fatou mumbled.

“Wait Fatou I need to know your adre-“

Fatou didn’t hear the rest of Kieu Mys sentence. She drifted into a sleep, in which the world was a better place. She would have wished to stay in that dream if she had known that when she woke up a few hours later, everything would be different.

Chapter Text

Samstag 10:00

The bright sunbeams tickled her nose and caused her to sneeze. She jolted awake at that, flinching at the sharp pain in her head and the foul feeling in her stomach.

She closed her eyes, trying to protect her eyes from the bright sunlight shining through the window.

The mattress underneath her was soft, much softer than her own and thats how she noticed she was not in her bedroom. She froze at the realization. She didn’t remember a lot about the previous night. She remembered dancing and meeting Ismail. She remembered Kieu My kissing that guy and she remembered feeling sick...then a hand on her face, an arm around her waist...

Her heart sped up. Did someone take her home? Did a stranger take advantage of her state and took her with him?

Fatou chewed on her lip. She was scared to open her eyes. And even though she had no idea who took her home last nigh she remembered feeling....safe?

Fatou let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and opened her eyes. After her eyes adjusted to the brightness she looked around.

The room was not too big, posters of the solar system on the walls. A few stuffed animals were pushed into the open closet. The room was colorful, and everything but empty. It seemed like there was too much stuff for the room. From the decorations, Fatou assumed that she was in a kids or a teenagers room, which made her body ease a little. As she turned her head, another strong sting of pain shot through her head, making her hiss.

Why do I have a hangover ? I didn't drink any alcohol ...but this doesn’t feel like a typical alcohol hangover either...

As she tried her best to put the pieces together, she heard steps approaching.

She stopped in her tracks and stared at the door, not moving. She watched the doorknob turn and was speechless when she saw Kieu My walking in.

The other girl hadn’t noticed her awoken state yet, eyes glued to her phone. She was carrying a mug and a box of pills.

To Fatous surprise, Kieu My already had her makeup on and was fully dressed like she was about to leave the house any second.

Finally Kieu Mys gaze shifted to her and the taller girl forced a smile on her face.

“Hey”, she greeted and walked over to Fatou.

Why am I here? 

Fatou swallowed audibly and found her voice again. “Hey”

Kieu My sat down on the mattress and eyed Fatou. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you feel?”

Fatou couldn’t suppress the grin forming on her face. “I think it’s a solid nine”

Kieu My nodded, an empathetic expression on her face and placed the cup and pills on the nightstand.

“I have Aspirin and coffee for you.”, she explained, taking Fatou by surprise.

“Uhm, thanks”, Fatou mumbled and sat up a little straighter.

She reached for the glass of water and took a sip, feeling sick when swallowing. She was really having a bad hangover...

After taking the pill as well, Fatou took all the courage she had and asked: “What happened to me?”

“So”, Kieu My clasped her hands together, “last night Ismail put something in your drink and you didn’t take it too well”  

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you were pretty high. And you had a fever all of the sudden and you threw up, so I thought I would get you home but you passed out before telling me your dress so I took you to my place.”

“Thank you”, was all she got out. She tried her hardest to comprehend what she just heard. Ismail drugged her? And Kieu My actually cared about her health?

“Yeah it’s whatever”, Kieu My shrugged, her expression hardening, “I didn’t want you to end up passed out on the side of the street or something, we would have gotten in trouble with police”

A wave of disappointment flooded through Fatous body and she nodded.

Of course that was the reason, seriously what did she expect ?

Awkward silence fell upon them, both girls visibly uncomfortable. Kieu My suddenly got up, catching Fatous attention.

“I’m gonna head out. There is food in the kitchen, feel free to take it. I washed your shirt since you vomited all over it last night, so it’s still in the washing machine.”

Fatou just then noticed the foreign shirt she was wearing. It was a simple black hoodie with red lettering. She had never seen it on Kieu My before.

“You can stay here until you feel a little better. I will be gone a few hours anyways. If you are not able to go home by yourself, my mom is home and I am sure that she will drive you if you ask her.”, Kieu My added.

Fatou nodded dumbfounded, overwhelmed by the situation she found herself in.

Kieu My reciprocated the nod, before picking up her bag and slipping on sunglasses.

Why is she wearing sunglasses, it’s December?

Without another word or even a glance at the smaller girl Kieu My slipped out of her room, closing the door with a thud.

As soon as she heard the front door slam Fatou exhaled audibly and fell back onto the mattress.

Her head stung at the sudden contact with the bed and Fatou pressed her hand against her forehead in annoyance.

Her eyes searched Kieu Mys room for her belongings and she found them on the taller girls desk.

Eager to call Ava and tell her about what went down, she carefully lifted herself from the bed and onto her feet. Her head pounded and she felt a little dizzy but she eventually got used to the standing position and staggered to her destination.

She quickly checked what was on the desk and realized that nothing was missing. She then took her phone and turned it on.

After a few seconds a symbol appeared, demanding her to connect it to a charger.

Fatou looked around, trying to find a charger. Luckily, there was one on the nightstand. Fatou plugged it into her phone and wondered if Kieu My was one of these people that charged their phones while they were sleeping.

Her phone was now charging but it would still take a few minutes for it to turn on. So Fatou gently placed in on the desk and stood up. She didn’t want to snoop around or invade Kieu Mys privacy but she was curious. So she slowly wandered around, analyzing the pictures and posters on the walls.

There were plenty astronomy posters. Fatou knew that Kieu My was very good in school, but she didn’t take her for an astronomy nerd. 

Aside from the posters, there were pictures on the walls, filling up empty space.

Some showed the instas (which made Fatous insides twist); some showed Kieu My alone, posing at an area Fatou didn't know and some showed Kieu My with two adults and a little boy next to them.

After taking a closer look Fatou noticed the little boy. It was Kieu Mys brother Thuan. He was a few years younger than his sister and transferred to their school a year ago. Other than his sister Thuan was not very good in school. He was an amazing athlete tho, at least for his age. Thuan was like Kieu My very calm and rather quiet in school. Fatou had seen him a few times and heard that he was genuinely nice. 

The picture had to be a few years old, since Kieu My as well as Thuan looked much younger. Fatou wouldn’t even have recognized Kieu My if she didn’t know it was her...well she probably still would have recognized her...

There was something special about Kieu Mys appearance that Fatou had never seen before. It made her unique.

The smaller girl assumed the adults on the photograph to be Kieu Mys parents. She had never seen them before. All she knew about Kieu Mys family was that her family owned a restaurant. Nora had let it slip during a conversation one time. Fatou wondered if Kieu My was a good cook. Probably.

Suddenly the door flew open, taking her by surprise. She jumped a little.

An equally as shocked woman was standing in front of her, a bag filled with laundry on her hands.

“Oh god sorry, Kieu My told me she had a visitor earlier. I totally forgot it.”, the woman rambled.

“I- its okay.”, was all Fatou got out.

“Is it okay if I just...”. The woman gestured to the closet.

“Of course”, was Fatous answer and took a step back so the woman could enter.

“I am Duyen by the way. Kieu Mys mother.”, the stranger introduced herself as she placed her daughters clothes in her dresser.

“Fatou.”

“Nice to meet you Fatou. Do you need a ride home later?”

“Uh, no I’m good, I’ll just walk”, Fatou answered. That was totally not true. She would definitely call Ilai and get him to pick her up later.

“Okay. Well, Fatou I wish you a good day. Maybe we will see each other again.”

“I don’t think we will”, Fatou mumbled, immediately internally cursing herself for making the conversation awkward.

Duyen furrowed her brows but gave her a kind smile. “Then it was great to have met you”

“Yeah, you too”, Fatou got out and tried to look as relaxed as possible.

With a small wave Duyen disappeared through the door, leaving Fatou alone again.

Today is so weird.

Fatou scratched her forehead. She always did that when she felt tense, it helped her release stress. She didn’t know why she did it, it had just always been that way.

She got interrupted by her phone buzzing. Quickly, she made her way over to the desk and noticed that it was finally on again.

Fatou immediately opened WhatsApp and texted her group chat.

Fatou: are u guys free tomorrow?

Sonntag 13:35

Fatou set her glass down, letting the cold liquid run down her throat. Apple juice had always been her favorite drink. Ever since she was a little kid.

Ava as her best friend obviously knew that and always made sure to have some in the fridge whenever Fatou came over.

The Cashqueens were seated around the little coffee table in the flats living room, chatting loudly and laughing brightly. 

Well, everything except Fatou. The girl was deep in her thoughts. She still hadn’t told the girls about what went down after the party and didn’t know when it was the right time to interfere with the conversation and tell them.

“It was so cool. Papa and me had to walk home in the rain but it was totally worth it”, Mailin raved, a bright smile plastered on her face.

She had spent Saturday with her father again, who had suddenly decided to take part in her life again. Fatou was happy for Mailin but she was also concerned about his sudden change of behavior. So she forced a smile onto her face and pulled her knees to her chest.

“That’s amazing. I hope my dad will also go on adventures like this when he and my mom get the divorce”, Ava mumbled.

Avas parents had decided to separate a few weeks ago, taking their daughter by surprise completely. Ava had spent days at Fatous, crying her eyes out and blaming herself and Fatou had tried her best to comfort her.

“Of course he will. He loves you so much, Ava”, Nora assured and placed her hand on Avas.

The other girl gave her a thankful smile.

“Um girls?”

The Cashqueens looked at Fatou curiously.

“Yes Fatou?”, Nora answered and furrowed her brows.

“I um”, Fatou fidgeted with her hands, “something happened yesterday. At the party.”

“Okay, what happened ?”, Mailin asked curiously.

“I woke up today at Kieu My’s-“, Fatou started but what interrupted by Mailin.

“KIEU MY? You hooked up with Kieu My Vu?”

Ava and Nora stared at Fatou in disbelief.

“W-what? No! No, I didn’t.”

“Why did you wake up in her bed then?”, Ava wanted to know.

Fatou scratched the back of her head. “She took me home because I didn’t feel good yesterday.”

“I thought you didn’t drink?”, Nora wondered in confusion.

“I didn’t. Someone...put something in my drink.”, Fatou admitted.

“What?”, Mailin exclaimed immediately, shooting up from her seating position. 

Ava stared off into the distance like she was trying to process what she just heard.

Fatou shrugged and nodded.

“You were drugged?”, Mailin scoffed.

Fatou nodded again.

“Who was it?”, Nora asked, hands balled into fists.

“Is that really important ?”, Fatou asked insecurely.

“Yes, Fatou”, Nora insisted.

“It was Ismail. They put a pill into my water. Apparently it was ecstasy or something.”, Fatou explained and shifted uncomfortably.

“Ismail. Of course it was them. God, I hate them”, Mailin grunted.

“Anyways, Kieu My found me wasted somewhere and took care of me.”, Fatou continued.

“At least one of these fuckers have a little bit of humanity in their heart”, Mailin mumbled and ruffled her hair in frustration.

Fatou looked down, overwhelmed with the situation. Suddenly she heard quiet sniffling next to her and turned her attention to the source of the sound.

A tear rolled down Avas cheek. The girls looked at each other worriedly and squatted down next their friend.

“Ava...”, Fatou started and put a piece of her best friends hair out of her face.

“I just hate them so much, Chibi. I don’t even wanna start to imagine what could have happened to you if nobody found you. They shouldn’t get away with this that easily, it’s not fair.”

Fatou pulled Ava into a hug and buried her face into her shoulder.

 “I’m okay. Nothing happened to me.”

“And Ismail will pay.”, Mailin spoke up, “I will make sure that they will.”

Nora exhaled audibly. “That explains a lot actually”

Her friends eyed the blonde haired girl curiously. 

“I heard that there is a big fight within the Instas right now. Heard Zoe talking to Finn on the phone about it. Apparently Kieu My is mad at Ismail for doing something. Now we know what.”

Fatou frowned.

Kieu My is mad at them ? She ...cares?

“I hope they kick that motherfucker out of the school”, Mailin said determined.

“If I could I would kick them out of space”, Ava countered, earning a giggle from Fatou.

Dienstag 12:09

Fatou pushed her body to its limit, speeding up for the last few meters before reaching the finish line. Even though they were just warming up she made sure to always give her best. She didn’t find the time or motivation to work out at home so she always tried really hard in P.E.

“Nice Fatou!”, her teacher called out and gave her a thumbs up.

Fatou panted heavily but smiled a little at the praise.

“Nice work”, Josh greeted her and wrapped her into a short side hug.

“Thanks”, Fatou got out and happily accepted his water bottle.

“So...you ready for dancing?”, Josh chuckled and goofily moved his body to an imaginary beat, causing Fatou to almost spit the water out in laughter.

“Not as ready as you seem to be”, she joked and gave him his bottle back.

“I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life. Been practicing ever since I was able to walk.”, Josh stated and tried to keep a serious expression.

“I see that. I hope your hard work pays off.”.

“I’m certain it will”

Fatou wasn’t a bad dancer. She was actually pretty decent at it. She had a good sense of rhythm and knew all the basic dance moves but it was not like she was a talented dancer.

“Care to share your talent with me? I don’t have a partner yet”, Fatou asked hopefully.

Josh shook his head and gave her a sympathetic look. “Sorry, I would love to put I promised Yara to do it with her. We have been dancing together since kindergarten.”

“Oh, okay.”, Fatou said, a little disappointed.

Josh looked around like he was looking for something. Eventually he smiled contently.

“You know who is an almost as talented dancer as me?”, he mumbled and pointed at Kieu My.

Fatou rolled her eyes. “Come on Josh”

“What? She is good at dancing and she can actually be kinda nice when she isn’t around her friends. Plus, I think she doesn’t have a partner either. Her and Constantin are fighting and they were originally partners.”

Fatou shook her head. “Nah Josh, I kinda wanna keep my distance from the Instas”

“I get that. Stupid idea, sorry.”

Fatou shrugged. “Don’t worry it’s fine”

“Okay everyone please get together with your partner now and start thinking about your choreography. Remember, our song is ‘love me 4 me’ by Rina Sawayama. I will play it loudly on the speakers.”, the teacher announced.

“Sorry”, Josh mumbled and made his way to Yara.

“Oh god”, Fatou mumbled, feeling embarrassed by the fact that she still didn’t have a partner.

Ok she walked up to her teacher, a few other students already standing there.

“I don’t have a partner”, a classmate stated.

“Me neither”, Fatou spoke up.

“Okay Lukas, I will see who else is free. Fatou? You have a partner.”

“I do?”, Fatou wondered.

“Yes. Kieu My came up to me last week and told me to write the two of you together as partners. Is that not okay for you?”

Last week? But she wasn’t fighting with Constantin and Ismail last week...

“Oh, n-no its fine. I just forgot”, Fatou stammered.

The teacher nodded and turned his attention back to his notes.

Fatou swallowed and looked around, trying to find Kieu My. She saw the girl standing at the other side of the gym on her phone.

“Here goes nothing”, Fatou mumbled and hesitantly walked over to the other girl.

“Hey”, she got out when she arrived next to the taller girl.

Kieu My didn’t answer, she didn’t even look at her.

“I made a plan for our dance choreography. It’s not necessarily hard, but it does require some practice. But I think you can do it, your dancing is not that bad.”, Kieu My said and shoved her phone into the smaller girls hands.

Fatou stared at the screen dumbfounded. Kieu My had created a list with descriptions and illustrations to explain the dance moves. 

She is good at drawing too.

Fatou squinted her eyes as she read through the routine, trying to make sense of what she saw.

From the side of her eyes she noticed Kieu My stretching and warming her body up to prepare herself for the dance.

Kieu Mys body was a mystery to Fatou. She just couldn’t understand how it was that athletic when the taller girl drank and smoked every weekend.

Suddenly Kieu My turned her head and met Fatous eyes. Fatou quickly averted her gaze and turned her focus back onto the choreo.

“Um...I don’t understand this move.”, she admitted.

“Which one?”, Kieu My wanted to know and walked over to her.

Fatou showed the girl the move she meant. Kieu My shuffled closer to the screen, her body pressing against Fatous from the back. Fatou felt Kieu Mys breath against her neck and tried her hardest not to shudder. The familiar scent from Saturday filled her nose and she chewed on the inside of her cheek to distract herself from the sudden closeness.

What lasted a few seconds felt like an eternity to Fatou. She didn’t dare to move, afraid that Kieu My would dissolve into thin air if she did.

“Oh okay. Well, we basically switch standing positions by kind of spinning around and then letting go when we arrive at our right positions”

“W-what?”, Fatou whispered nervously.

Kieu My grinned and finally backed up from Fatou. Fatou let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and turned around so she was facing her partner.

Kieu My suddenly extended her hands. Fatou looked at them dumbfounded, unsure what to do.

“Come on, take my hands”, Kieu My commanded and Fatou snapped out of her confused state. She grabbed Kieu Mys hands, her body tingling at the unusual contact.

Kieu Mys hands were soft. Of course they were.

“Have you seen the movie Titanic?”, Kieu My asked and looked up at Fatou.

“I um”, Fatou chuckled nervously, “its my favorite movie.”

“Good taste.”, Kieu My noted and winked.

Fatous blood froze.

Is she flirting with me?

“Well, there is this scene where Jack and Rose dance in Titanic. And they do this spinning move. This  is kind of like that move, just a little shorter.”

“Okay”.

Fatou knew that scene by heart and therefore had a better vision of what the move would be like.

“Let’s try it out”, Kieu My suggested.

“Yes, sure”, Fatou agreed.

Kieu My tightened her grip on Fatous hands and started spinning, pulling the other girl with her. 

Fatou copied the movements and the girls easily gained speed. Everything went blurry around them and Fatou thought about Friday in the club. When everything got blurry when Kieu My and Lasse made out.

All she saw was Kieu Mys strained expression that slowly eased into a small smile and her hands holding onto the other girls ones for dear life.

Donnerstag 18:50

“Not that much pepper. No, stop!”, Ilai chuckled and tried to grab Fatous arm in order to stop her from adding more spice.

“There is no such thing like too much pepper.”, Fatou stated and escaped her brothers embrace.

“Fatou, no! You will fuck up dinner!”, her brother protested and crossed his arms.

“Trust me. I am the culinary gifted child.”

Ilai rolled his eyes. “If it tasted like shit, I will blame you”

Fatou nodded. “You can blame me then but I can guarantee that it will taste amazing.”

“So humble.”, Ilai joked.

“You know me”, Fatou countered.

Ilai left her side and sat down at the kitchen table watching his sisters actions.

“How is school going?”, he asked eventually, voice filled with insecurity.

Ever since Fatou got diagnosed Ilai had gotten very careful with that topic. He felt guilty since he accused his sister of being lazy and not putting enough work into mathematics and even though Fatou told him that it wasn’t his fault and that he didn’t knew he still felt bad about it.

“It’s going okay I guess. Mrs Reim gives me extra tasks to do at home or at therapy and I get a good grade when I turn it in with the correct solution. And before you ask...Yes, I am doing the tasks myself and No my friends are not helping me. I wanna do this by myself, I want to get better and do my Abitur.”, Fatou said truthfully as she stirred the pot.

“That is great Fatou. Seriously, i am happy that it goes okay.”

“Thanks bro”

Fatou dunk her finger into the sauce and licked the liquid off her fingers.

“You are disgusting. Take a spoon at least”, Ilai groaned.

“Quit whining. Don’t forget that I am i charge of dinner today. So if you keep bugging me I will slip a few extra spoons of pepper into your dish”, Fatou threatened jokingly.

Ilai held his hands up in defense. “I never said anything”

“That’s what I thought”, Fatou mumbled and reached for her phone.

“Ilai have you seen my phone?”, she asked.

“Uh, no. I don’t think so. Maybe it’s in your room?”

Fatou nodded. “Can you watch the sauce please?”

“Sure.”

With that Fatou left the kitchen and hurried to her room. Her phone was lying on her bed, screen facing the mattress.

Just when Fatou was reaching her arm to grab the device, it suddenly started buzzing, taking the girl by surprise. She turned it around.

Incoming call from [Unknown Number]

Fatou recognized the number right away. It was the same one that texted her the details about the party the week before.

She hesitated for a moment but decided to pick up.

“Fatou Jallow here”

“Hello, it’s Kieu My.”

Fatou sat down on her bed. 

So this really is Kieu Mys number...

“Yes um, hello.”

“I hope you are not busy?”

“Oh um no , I am not busy. What’s up?”

Fatou heard Kieu My clearing her throat.

“Listen, I really wanna get an A in P.E. and you definitely still need to practice the movements”

Fatou frowned.

Okay, ouch?

“Okay?”

Fatou wondered why Kieu My had called her. Just to tell her that she apparently sucked at dancing?

“I think it would be good if we practiced it together. The dance, I mean. Tomorrow. After school.”

“Oh um”, Fatou sat up straight, her brows furrowed, “sure?”

“I have the keys to my dance clubs gym. No one is there on Friday, so we have it to ourselves and can really practice”, Kieu My continued.

“Sounds good. Where do we meet?”

“Pick me up after sixth period tomorrow ? We can walk there together ?”, Kieu My proposed.

“Okay.”, Fatou agreed, “what classroom?”

“310.”

“Alright. I will be there.”

“Good. Bye, Fatou”

“Bye.”

The line went dead and Fatou slowly lowered her phone.

She would dance tomorrow. With Kieu My. 

“What am I getting myself into”, the girl mumbled to herself and eyed her phone screen. She opened WhatsApp and opened Avas contact.

Fatou: Wanna pick up kieu my with me tomorrow ? i dont wanna go alone, ismail is also in her class.

It didn’t take Ava long to answer.

Ava: ofc. but why are you picking her up?

“FAFA! I think the food is burnt, it stinks!”, suddenly the voice of her brother sounded from the kitchen.

“Fuck”

Fatou: I will tell you tomorrow, okay? Ilai is burning down the kitchen smh, gtg

“I swear Ilai if you ruined my dish-“

Freitag 13:10

Fatou stared at the clock impatiently and chewed on her lip. Class should have been over for a few minutes now and the teacher was still talking. 

Ava noticed her behavior and nudged her side.

“Relax”, she mumbled, “she is not gonna rip your head off for being a few minutes late”

Fatou didn’t answer, not taking her eyes off the clock.

“ OK class we are done for today. Don’t forget to do the homework it’s essential for next period. Have a nice weekend everyone!”,the teacher finally spoke up making Fatou sigh in relief.

She immediately tidied her stuff and pack it in a bag while urging Ava to do the same.

She was obviously stressed. Fatou didn’t want Kieu My to get a wrong impression of her.

Ava followed her best friend and blindly shoved everything into her bag before standing up and hurrying out the classroom.

“Calm down Chibi. “, she panted when Fatou jogged up the stairs.

“I don’t wanna give the Instas another reason pick on me by being late”, Fatou called back.

“But Fatou, Kieu My and the rest of the Instas aren’t friends anymore.”, Ava countered.

Her exclamation remained uncommented from Fatou so she sighed and sped up.

When they finally arrived on the third floor, Fatou felt nauseous. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so nervous. She was just very scared of facing Ismail again after finding out what they did. That was why she asked Ava to accompany her.

“Are you okay?”, Ava asked.

Fatou nodded wordlessly and took a deep breath before pushing the door leading to the school floors open.

She saw Kieu Mys room from afar. Luckily, her class was just now released from it. Dozens of students stormed out of the door and Fatou squinted her eyes, trying to find Kieu My in the crowd. 

Eventually a familiar smile caught her attention. Kieu My was talking and laughing with someone. The mass of people made it impossible to identify who she was talking to.

Fatou made her way over to the girl, relieved to have found her so quickly. As she got closer to the girl she finally found out who she was having a conversation with.

It was...Ismail?

I thought they were fighting...

Fatou slowed down a little and turned her head to look at Ava who seemed have already noticed Kieu Mys collocutor. She looked tense, her eyes completely focused on Ismail.

Fatou swallowed audibly. 

“Hey”, she greeted Kieu My, completely ignoring Ismail's presence.

Kieu My turned her attention to Fatou and the taller girl gave her a short nod, like she was simply acknowledging her existence.

“Um...hello? Is there anything specific you want or ...?”, Ismail joined the conversation all of the sudden and gave Fatou an amused look.

“I am here to pick Kieu My up.”

Ismail scoffed. “Pick Kieu My up?”. They gave Kieu My a questioning look.

Fatou nodded, anxiety rising inside her. She tried her best to not let it show. She wouldn’t give Ismail that satisfaction.

“Yeah, we need to meet up for this school project thing.”, Kieu My explained to them, seeming a little uncomfortable herself.

“Oh okay”, Ismail said and then added with a quiet voice that was loud enough for everyone to hear, “I am so sorry Q”

“You are unbelievable”, Ava groaned, “you call her an offensive slur, you drug her at a party, plan on leaving her there for god knows what to happen, you don’t even apologize for that and now you have the fucking audacity to be cocky too? That’s pathetic.”

Ismail chuckled and looked at Fatou. “Oh so you need your friends to speak for you too now?”.

They didn’t give Fatou any time to react before they continued: “I didn't know that you suddenly lost your voice. Is that like a byeeffect of the medication you take for your...learning disability ?”

They settled their gaze on Ava. “I hope this isn’t a slur again.”

Fatous anxiety was replaced by anger now. She hated fights and she definitely was a peaceful human being but she always stood up for herself when it was necessary.

“I don’t know what the fuck your problem is. You must be hiding some deep dark secrets when you constantly need to tear other people down in order to feel good about yourself. Honestly, I feel sorry for you because-“

She was interrupted by Kieu My. 

“Can you please not make a big deal out of this right now?”

Fatou frowned and turned her attention towards her.

“A big deal? They drugged me. You said it was horrible yourself.”

“I know, but it’s in the past now right? I mean, nothing bad happened to you. Cant we just let it go?”

Fatou couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had never felt that disappointed in someone, ever.

“I guess they were right. You ARE just like the others.”, she scoffed, eyes filling with tears of anger and disappointment.

Then she turned around and walked away.

And if she had bothered to look over her shoulder one more time maybe she would have seen the tears rising in the other girls eyes as well.

Chapter Text

Montag 11:10

The scraping of her pen against the wooden table was the only sound filling Fatous ears. She was blending everything out, lost in her own little world again.

She didn’t even notice Ava throwing her a wondering glance.

She saw the mouth of her math teacher move but didn’t even bother to try to understand her. She wasn’t really feeling like concentrating in class right now. She was still bummed about Kieu Mys behavior on Friday. She certainly didn’t expect her and the other girl to become friends but after the past two weeks she thought that Kieu My was different. A victim of her circumstances. Not like Ismail. But she was. She wasn’t any different. And Fatou felt stupid for thinking otherwise.

Speaking of Kieu My...the girl was seated across the room, completely focused on the task on the table. Her brows were furrowing and she scrunched her nose.

Fatou was a dreamy person. She usually drifted off into her thoughts at least once a lesson. She would look at people, study their features and wonder what they were thinking. However, there were some people that Fatou liked looking at more than other.

Fatou had spent a lot of time looking at Kieu My. Analyzing the facial expression she would make, the way her hand shivered ever so slightly when she rose it to give an answer.

It may sound creepy and stalkerish, but Fatou liked watching Kieu My. Because when no one was looking, she seemed like a whole other person. She seemed almost insecure, shy and calm. 

Fatou usually liked watching Kieu My, but today she forced herself not to. She didn’t want to spend anymore time on speaking with, watching or even thinking about the girl, which was hard because they had nearly every class together.

Kieu My had texted her on Friday after the incident, asking if they could talk. Fatou hadn’t even bothered to answer and blocked her on all social medias.

She felt the girl gaze now and then but never gave in and looked back. She didn’t want to give Kieu My the impression that she was still interested in talking to her.

Fatou looked down at the paper. Aside from some doodles and scribbled notes it was still completely empty. And the lesson was almost over already!

Fatou sighed and buried her face in her hands. 

“Fatou?”

The voice of her teacher made her jump a little. Her head shot up and she returned the teachers glance.

“Y-yes?”

“Are you okay?”

Fatou gulped, feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She hated being the center of attention. It made her feel vulnerable.

“Of course”, she got out, her hands reaching for the hem of her shirt to fidget in between her fingers in stress.

With the corner of her eye she saw Kieu My looking at her. Not just a little side glance...no, the girl had her head turned into Fatous direction and didn’t even try to hide her staring.

Fatou felt the taller girls gaze dropping to her hands, noticing Fatous nervous habit.

 Fatou quickly retreated her hands and sat up a little straighter. She couldn’t have Kieu My thinking she was weak. She had enough of the mocking from the Instas and didn’t want to make herself a target.

“Good. Please try paying attention next time. Oh and remember to wait in here after the lesson so you can hand in your weekly tasks, alright?”, Fatous teacher reminded her with a kind smile.

Fatous heart dropped. With all the chaos the last week she had completely forgot about her assignment. Her eyes dropped to the ground and she felt her hands getting sweaty.

“Yes, o-of course”, she stammered and cleared her throat.

She chewed her lip and desperately tried to think of something she could say to her teacher to explain why she didn’t do the tasks. Her teacher was so understanding and kind with her and she failed the only thing she had to do.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, Fatou mumbled.

Ava frowned. “What?”

“I forgot. I totally forgot the tasks.”, Fatou whispered and flicked through the pages of her exercise book.

“And what now?”, Ava mumbled back and looked around like she was scared of somebody hearing them.

Fatou shrugged. “Ava, I can’t fuck this up. It’s my only chance of getting a decent score in math for the Abi and I really can’t afford leaving it out sometimes. I have to give 100%. I promised my parents and the teachers and everyone...fuck”

Ava gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her back.

“I’m sure Mrs Stein will understand your situation and give you an extra day to hand it in.”, she tried to comfort her best friend.

Fatou shook her head. “And what am I supposed to say? ‘Oh hey, yeah sorry I didn't do the homework because I spent the whole weekend thinking about how Kieu My Vu saved me, let me sleep in her bed, volunteered to do the dance project for P.E. with me, asked me to meet up and then told me to let the fact go that I was literally drugged by her best friend and didn’t even get a response yet’. Yeah, I am sure she will understand”, the small girl scoffed.

“Sorry”, she added quietly, “I know you are trying to help”

“It’s okay. Just come up with an excuse. Like...say that you were sick or something.”, Ava suggested.

“I think I have no other choice”, Fatou sighed.

She rested her chin on her palm and stared off into the distance, trying to think of a good excuse.

She felt that someone was watching her and didn’t even need to look to know who it was.

Fatou didn’t know why Kieu My suddenly cared about what Fatou was doing in class. The tall girl had been throwing glances at her all day, being completely obvious about it like she wanted Fatou to notice.

It’s probably just another try at making me insecure  

So Fatou made sure to keep her eyes where they were, not letting them look at the other girl even though she desperately wanted to know the other girls expression.

The bell rang and everyone packed their stuff.

Fatou chewed on her lower lip nervously. It was one her habits to reduce stress.

While she slipped her pencil case into her backpack Ava leaned over to her and mumbled into her ear: “I am gonna wait for you outside okay?”

Fatou nodded and gave her best friend a thankful smile.

As everyone started to leave the classroom, Fatou made her way over to the teachers desk. Her heart pounded in her chest, she could hear it beating in her ears.

“Fatou! You were really dreamy today. Are you sure everything is okay?”, Mrs Stein greeted her.

Out of every one of her teachers Mrs Stein was the one that cared the most about her. She always made sure that Fatou kept up with the rest of the class. When Fatou got diagnosed with dyscalculia she switched courses because her previous teacher wasn’t very understanding with her condition. Sadly, she still had him in physics but at least she was a way more comfortable in her math class now.

“Yes.”, was Fatous answer. She didn’t want to sound impolite or harsh, but she was too nervous to answer properly.

Mrs Stein nodded and took a green book out.

“Even though you have different preconditions, it would still be great if you tried to listen and understand what happens in class. I know you are still at the beginning of your treatment but you could maybe try to apply some techniques you learn there here in class.”, the teacher suggested sweetly.

“Yeah...sorry”

“Oh, its fine dear. Okay so, please hand in the paper with this weeks tasks, I have to correct them as soon as possible, I have a very busy week.”

Fatou swallowed, shifting uncomfortably. “Well, there is a problem with that. I couldn’t-“

“Fatou!”, someone interrupted her.

Fatou turned around in confusion and was met with Kieu My standing right in front of her.

Fatou didn’t know what to answer, she didn’t expect the other girl to talk to her and was a little overwhelmed with the situation.

Kieu My seemed to notice that Fatou couldn’t get a word out and therefore just eased her backpack off her shoulders and rummaged through it before taking a piece of paper out and offering it to Fatou. 

“Here, you forgot the tasks you did at my house this weekend”

Fatou frowned and hesitantly took the paper. It was her math assignment. Her math assignment, written in Kieu Mys noble handwriting. She looked at Kieu My and gave her a questioning look. But Kieu My just gave her a smile like what she said was true and they were really friends.

For a moment Fatou wondered if she should accept the other girls help but eventually thought: ‘They are always so selfish, so I can be too now’.

So she handed the teacher the paper and gave Kieu My a short “Thanks”.

“Well then, thank you Fatou and next time don’t forget your homework at a friends house, alright?”, Mrs Stein smiled.

“Of course. Yeah, sorry I was just...whatever...thank you, see you!”

With that Fatou spun around and exhaled relievedly.

Kieu My was nowhere to be seen now so Fatou joined the last few people in the room and walked out of the door.

“How did it go?”, Ava asked as soon as Fatou approached her.

“I need to tell you what just happened”

Dienstag 12:00

Fatous legs hurt from sprinting. She had switched up the time and was already late for P.E. Her breathing was flat and quickened as she rounded the corner and sped up the last few meters to the entrance of the gym.

Class started right at this minute but she still had to change into her sports gear. So she desperately slammed her fist against the glass window at the door to get somebody’s attention.

She shielded her eyes and looked inside. She could see her class warming up, most of them in conversation and therefore not noticing her.

Fatou saw Yara passing by and saw her chance. “HEY! YARA!”, she yelled and let her flat hand collide with the door again.

Fatou let out a relieved sigh when Yara came to a stop and turned around in confusion before seeing Fatou and making her way over to her.

“Thank you”, Fatou panted as soon as the door was pushed open.

“No problem. Are you okay?”, Yara chuckled.

“Yes, I am good. I ran all the way here.”, Fatou explained her state, “do you think I’m in trouble for being late?”

“Well, I think since you seem to be warmed up pretty good already it won’t be a problem”

Fatou chuckled and nodded.

“Okay, see you in a few minutes then”, Yara smiled and patted Fatous back.

The other girl smiled back and hurried to the changing rooms. She pushed the door open, sending it to collide with the wall. She looked up and was met with a shocked looking Kieu My, obviously startled by the sudden loud noise.

Of course out of all people she is the one who is still in here

Fatou suppressed an eye roll and placed her bag on the bench. She closed the door behind her and started rummaging through her stuff, trying to find her gym clothes.

Kieu My was still standing there like she was frozen, eyes on Fatou. She seemed to also be late since she was also wearing her street clothing.

Fatou got rid of her coat and Kieu My also eventually started to change.

The smaller girl quickly stepped out her jeans, oblivious of how Kieu Mys eyes would find her exposed skin every now and then. 

After slipping into her sport shorts Fatou allowed herself a glance at the taller girl and almost choked on her own spit.

Kieu My was topless. TOPLESS. Her back was facing Fatou as she slipped her sport bra over her head. Fatou wanted to look away. Every cell of her body screamed that she should but he couldn’t bring herself to. She knew the other girl had an amazing body since Kieu My often  wore clothing that showed it off but now since there was no more room for speculations or imaginations and Fatou was confronted with her bare torso it felt like she noticed it for the first time.

Fatous throat was dry, it almost hurt how dry it was. She was standing there in her sports shorts and hoodie and stared at the other girl like an idiot.

She suddenly had to urge to run away. She didn’t know how to deal with the things she was feeling right now, it was so mixed and uneven.

Fatou shuddered a little and blushed in embarrassment. Why was she being so weird? She had seen girls way more naked than this before. But somehow this felt different.

She hadn’t even reacted close to how she was right now when her ex girlfriend was naked in her presence. And she really was into her.

But the fact that she felt such attraction and fascination just by seeing Kieu Mys back scared the shit out of her.

Kieu My adjusted her bra and turned around, taking Fatou by surprise and catching her staring.

Fatou wished a big hole would appear and suck her in to get her out of the situation.

Kieu My looked surprised, but not mad. She looked...genuinely confused but also...satisfied?

Satisfied. Of course. Fatou had her eyes glued on the girl who had disappointed her so bad like a horny teenage boy.

Disappointed in herself Fatou averted her gaze and quickly changed into a t shirt, purposely avoiding Kieu My.

When she was finally fully dressed Fatou passed Kieu My without another look and exited the changing room.

“Fuck”, she muttered and tightened her ponytail.

“Fatou! How nice of you to join us!”, her teacher greeted her.

“Sorry.”, Fatou mumbled, looking down in shame.

“Run a few rounds and then start working on the dance.”.

Fatou cursed silently. She had totally forgotten about her partner work with Kieu My. She couldn’t do it anymore, especially after what just happened in the locker room.

So she scanned the gym for Yara and spotted her talking to Josh.

Fatou jogged over to them. “Guys!”

Josh and Yara turned their heads.

“Fatou?”, Josh chuckled, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Can you please do me a favor?”, Fatou asked.

Josh shrugged and looked at Yara. “Uh, depends I guess?”

“Could one of you work with Kieu My instead of me?”

“Um...why?”, Yara wondered, “it worked last time with you two too”

“Yeah, but now it’s different. Something happened last week...I will call you later and tell you everything okay? Please just trust me. I can’t work with her anymore”, Fatou answered and gave Josh and Yara a pleading look.

Josh and Yara exchanged glances and Josh nodded. “Okay, I can work with her”

“Really?”

“I guess. I don’t have a problem with her. Hung out with her and Zoe sometimes because of Nora. So, yeah, that works. But you better tell me the reason too.”

“Yes, I will. Thank you so much Josh!”, Fatou said.

Josh waved it off. “No problem”

“I will tell the teacher”, Fatou announced and made her way to her teacher.

“Excuse me I-“, she started but got interrupted.

“Did you run your rounds already ?”

“N-no. Not yet.”

“Then why aren’t you doing it?”, her teacher asked and looked up from his book in annoyance.

“I wanted to ask something”, Fatou admitted.

Her teacher made a hand gesture asking her to continue.

“I want to switch partners. Josh will work with Kieu My and I will-“

Her teacher held up a hand and stopped her talking.

“There is no switching partners.”, he stated.

“What? But we only started last week. We barely made any progress yet”, Fatou stammered.

“Well, if you had shown up on time or even just done your warm up work I maybe would have considered it. But you don’t get anything if you don’t put some work in. Sorry Fatou but you should have thought about doing your duties if switching partners is so important to you.”

“Please”

“No means no.”

Fatou internally rolled her eyes and cursed at her teacher but chose a short bitter smile instead. She turned around and saw Kieu My standing in front of her. Fatou didn’t know how long she had stood there but it was obvious that the tall girl overheard the conversation.

She shot Fatou an unreadable glance and pushed her way past her.

“Excuse me Sir?”, she said in the sweetest voice possible.

“Yes Kieu My?”, the teacher answered.

“I don’t feel good today. Can I just sit on the bench and watch?”

Fatou frowned. Kieu My seemed perfectly fine to her.

“Of course.”

“What about Fatou? She will be all alone then”

“You can give her instructions from the bench. Now get to work”

Kieu My appeared in front of Fatou again, expression blank and shrugged.

“Sorry, I also can’t help you with your problem.”, she simply said and walked off, Fatou following her reluctantly.

Mittwoch 20:46

“I am gonna rip their head off. I’m not kidding.”, Yara groaned and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

“You can join forces with Mailin. She also plans on ending Ismail”, Fatou joked and placed her board at the edge of the small ramp, ready to drop in.

Her and Yara had agreed on meeting up at the skatepark. Fatou had told her friend what had happened the past days and Yara was furious.

Yara was probably the most fiery person Fatou was friends with. The girl had gotten into trouble a lot because of her temper in the past and worked on it but sometimes it still shined through.

“I will”, Yara hissed through gritted teeth and took her phone out to text the other girl.

Fatou shook her head and leaned forward, dropping into the ramp and rolling away, tailsliding a rail on her way.

She picked her board up again and eyes Yara, furrowing her brows at the realization that the other girl didn’t seem to be kidding at all.

“Yara”, she said softly, “please just let it go”

Yara opened her mouth to protest but Fatou cut her off: “I know what they did is awful and I am not trying to play it down but you getting in trouble because of it won’t help”

“It would at least send a message”, Yara argued, obviously agitated.

“We can send a message otherwise. And it would turn the focus on someone entirely different. Please just let it go. Please.”

Yara closed her eyes and took a deep breath before nodding slowly.

“Okay. But only because I love you so much”.     

“Thank you”, Fatou answered contently and gave the other girl a short smile.

She carried her skateboard back to her starting point when she heard a voice calling her name.

She turned her head curiously and saw Zoe coming closer to her.

Fatou furrowed her brows. Out of everyone in the world she would never have thought to see Zoe at a skatepark.

So she picked her board up and jumped off the ramp to meet the other girl halfway.

“Hey”, Zoe greeted Fatou as soon as she was within hearing range.

“Hey?”, Fatou answered in confusion, “what are you doing at the skatepark?”

Zoe came to a stop. “Nora said you would be here”

“Okay?”

Why is Zoe looking for me?

“I am just gonna get straight to my point, I don’t wanna disturb your session”, Zoe said.

“Okay?”, Fatou answered again and hugged her board.

“Look, I wanted to apologize for what happened at that party. I just found out about it yesterday.”

“Thanks. But no need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault”

“I know but I am still sorry. And I hope you know that even though we can be mean sometimes nobody supports such occurrence. Ismail got a lot of shit from us, especially from Q. I know it doesn’t seem like it but they are sorry about what they did.”

Wait...Kieu My gave Ismail shit for what happened ?

“Well, Ismail has a really weird way of showing it.”, Fatou mumbled.

Zoe looked at her feet. “I know. I am tired of defending their behavior but all I can say is that they....regret doing what they did and that they wont do it again”

Fatou scoffed. “How great, so I can now be at the same party as Ismail and drink my water without the fear of being drugged again?”, she snapped, instantly regretting her outburst.

“Sorry”, she mumbled.

Zoe looked up and shook her head.

“Oh, don’t apologize, you have every right to be angry.”

Fatou bit her lower lip and looked down, an awkward silence falling upon them.

Even Yara who had listened to their conversation from her position on top of the halfpipe was silent. 

“So um...I just wanted to tell you. I hope you have a good time here. Um...kinda ironic but we all celebrate Kieu Mys birthday on Friday...I know her birthday was last month but we had trouble finding a time where-....whatever, you and your friends are invited. And this time no one will be drugged against their will. I promise. If you don’t want to come thats okay, but if you do...we would be happy to see you there on Friday”

Fatou nodded silently and gave Zoe a small wave as the girl walked away again.

She turned to Yara. “I don’t think going would be a good idea”

“Oh no, we are going. I wanna get revenge on Ismail then.”, Yara countered and hopped off the halfpipe, “even if its just in the slightest way possible”

Donnerstag 19:54

Noodles

Fatou was lost. She never did food shopping. Usually her dad brought some fresh meat or vegetables from the market every weekend and her mom and brother got things that were missing from the supermarket a few days later. 

Some people might call it pathetic but yes, Fatou had no idea where the noodles were.

Ilai had asked her to buy some for dinner and Fatou ad agreed. She now regretted her decision.

“Fuck where are the noodles?”, Fatou mumbled and stood on her tippy toes to get a better view of the isle.

“Fatou?”

Fatou spun around. In front of her stood Duyen, Kieu Mys mother who she had met last week in Kieu Mys room.

“Oh”, Fatou looked around nervously, hoping that the woman came alone, “hello”

Duyen looked genuinely happy to see Fatou and adjusted her purse before asking: “How are you doing?”

“I am very good, thanks for asking. And you?”, was Fatous answer. Even though she promised herself that she would stay away from anything Kieu My related she felt strong sympathy for the woman and didn’t mind chatting with her for a bit.

“I’m good. Just doing some evening food shopping. My husbands needs some garlic for dinner so we quickly ran to the store to get it”, Duyen explained.

Fatou hesitated. “We?”

As if on cue, Kieu My came around the corner, eyes fixed on the food in her hands.

“So, I found garlic powder and regular garlic. Which one is better?”, she mumbled and looked up.

When she noticed Fatou her face fell and the smaller girl could see her body tensing.

“Look who I ran into.”, Duyen smiled and put an arm around her daughter's shoulder.

Fatou forced an awkward smile onto her face. Kieu My looked like she just saw a ghost.

“Hello”, she said numbly, avoiding eye contact.

“What are you doing here at this time of the day, Fatou?”, Duyen wondered, gaining Fatous attention.

“Oh um, my brother needs noodles.”, Fatou answered, internally cursing herself for the shortness of her statement.

“So, also some last minute dinner plans, huh?”, Duyen smiled, earning a short nod from Fatou.

Fatou wondered if Duyen knew where the noodles were. She probably did. But she didn’t want Kieu My to think that she was stupid for not knowing. But then again...why did she care about what the other girl thought about her?

“Actually, I don’t know where the noodles are. Do you know where I can find them?”

Duyen nodded enthusiastically. “Of course sweetheart. They are over there, on the right”

“Thank you”, Fatou replied politely.

Kieu My remained silent, staring off into the distance like she was thinking about something.

Fatou just then noticed the girls outfit. Kieu My was wearing wide jogging pants and an oversized hoodie with a stain on it. Fatou had never seen her in such an outfit.

Kieu My usually made sure to always look perfect. Fatou thought she did that because it was important to her. But seeing her like this with her mother in a supermarket made her think...maybe it was rather important to others?

“Well, time is running and I bet Hien is waiting for us. It was really nice seeing you again Fatou, come over sometime again, alright? Have a good evening”, Duyen interrupted the silence.

“Good evening to you too”, Fatou replied and gave the pair a smile.

She watched them disappear and sighed. Something about seeing Kieu My so...natural and real and ...shy caught her interest. Kieu My seemed totally different from how she behaved in school.

Deep in her thoughts Fatou chose some noodles and payed them at the counter.

When she exited the supermarket she dialed Avas number. It didn’t take her best friend long to pick up the phone.

“Hey Chibi, whats up?”

“Hey Ava. I changed my mind about the party tomorrow”, Fatou answered and buried her face into her scarf in order to protect her skin from the cold winter air.

“What?”

“I think we should go. To the party I mean.”, Fatou explained.

“Uhm...where is this coming from now?”, Ava asked in confusion.

“I don’t know. I have this gut feeling that I should be there tomorrow. Like the universe tells me or something”

Ava chuckled. “Are you high again?”

“Oh yeah I just hung out with Ismail”, Fatou joked.

“Yeah yeah fuck you”

“So we are going?”

“I wont leave you alone with those psychopaths. So, yes we are going.”

Freitag 23:24

The ground was vibrating from the strong bass, making Fatou feel like she was floating.

She was dancing in a big crowd full of people she didn’t know, at a place she didn’t know.

Apparently it was an old abandoned juvenile shelter to which Finn had the keys because his father used to do some construction work there. 

To avoid awkward encounters Fatou and the Cashqueens had arrived at 10, 2 hours after the party officially started.

If she hadn’t bumped into Zoe, nobody would even have noticed that they were there. There were a lot of people there. Fatou wasn’t even sure if everyone of them was really invited. It was impossible for anyone to have such many friends.

Even for Kieu My.

Even though Zoe had promised to keep the drinks clean from drugs, Fatou had brought her own water. She felt euphoric, forgetting all of her stress for the first time that week.

There was no one she had to impress and no expectations to fulfill.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, letting her body move o the music freely. Everyone was doing their own thing, no one really gave a shit about how the others were behaving which made Fatou feel oddly comfortable.

She had lost her friends in the crowd after a few minutes. They had promised each other to stay together but with so many people it just wasn’t possible.

Fatou didn’t really mind tho. She liked being a stranger. A face with no name.  Just a body in a massive crowd.

The air was stuffy and hot and made her throat feel sore. It smelled like sweat and a thousand of Axe deodorants mixed with a hint of weed. A few spotlights gave just enough light to the hall that everyone could find the exit.

Fatou brought her bottle back to her lips and took a few sips. The water against her sore throat felt like heaven.

Her eyes scanned the dance floor, checking if any of her friends were close.

Sadly, she couldn’t spot them but found a familiar pair of dark curls instead.

Ismail was just a few meters away from, in a heavy make out session with Constantin. Fatou tried to suppress a gag. 

How could it be possible that the two people she hated most were in love? How ironic...

Suddenly she noticed a familiar piece of blonde hair and tilted her head in order to see better.

She saw Nora disappearing around the corner and quickly pushed her way through the crowd.

She wanted to ask Nora when they would be leaving. 

Fatou tried her best to wriggle her way through the crowd. Suddenly she felt her head collide with something hard and a dull ache shot through her head. It almost knocked Fatou over but she managed to hold her balance. 

“ARE YOU OKAY?”, someone screamed into her ear.

Fatou squeezed her eyes shut, trying to understand what had happened to her but nodded. She felt fine, the pain was gone and she didn’t feel dizzy anymore.

“IM SORRY I DIDN'T SEE YOU, FATOU”

Fatou turned around and saw the boy who talked to her. She had seen him in Kieu Mys instagram stories a few times, he was definitely a friend of hers. But why did he know her name? She couldn’t remember ever meeting him.

She chose to let it go. “IM FINE”, she shouted back and gave him a thumbs up.

“Okay”, the boy mouthed and Fatou continued her attempt at exiting the mass of people.

She eventually made it and hurried to the hallway she saw Nora disappearing into.

The hallway seemed to lead to the exit. Dozens of people were leaning against the walls, smoking. The air was fogged and stunk like nicotine.

Fatou wandered around trying to find Nora but wasn’t successful.

She groaned and took her phone out of her pocket. She opened Noras contact and called her friend.

Nora didn’t pick up and the mailbox got activated, asking her to leave a message.

“Hey Nora, it’s Fatou. I was just wondering when you were planning on leaving since we are sharing a cab. Just call me back when you hear this. Love you, see ya”

With that Fatou pushed her phone back into her pocket.

Since she was already close to the exit she decided to go outside and get some fresh air.

Fatou pushed the door open and stepped outside.

The cold fresh air flooded her system, relaxing her muscles. It felt good breathing fresh air again, and especially air that didn’t smell like a drug dealers van.

“You here to smoke too?”

Fatou jumped a little at the familiar voice. She hadn’t even seen Kieu My coming up to her. Or did she accidentally stand next to her? No, she would have noticed.

Completely surprised by the taller girls sudden presence Fatou couldn’t bring herself to answer.

She simply stared at Kieu My like she was an alien.

Kieu My was wearing a perfectly color coordinated outfit combination, colorful fancy makeup and her signature white coat.

A cigarette lazily rested between her lips.

“Happy belated birthday”, Fatou blurted out. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so nervous. Maybe it was because they were alone. Or because Kieu Mys outfit was one of the most attractive things she had ever seen.

Kieu My grinned at the congratulations. “Thanks. I appreciate the intention.”

Or it was that smile. Yeah, definitely the smile.

Kieu My stumbled a few steps forward, obviously a little tipsy.

“Are you okay?”, Fatou asked and offered her arm for Kieu My to hold on to for support.

“It’s fine, I’m not wasted or anything”, Kieu My answered honestly, “just in very good friend thanks to my friend wodka gorbatschow”. She hiccuped.

Fatou tried to suppress her grin but failed. She tried so hard to me mad at Kieu My, but the other girl was just being too adorable to hate right now.

Suddenly Kieu Mys expression changed and her eyes flickered to Fatous forehead.

“Fuck, you're bleeding”, she murmured.

“Huh?”, Fatou wiped her forehead with the back of her hand,” oh, that. I think thats from the dancefloor. I took an elbow to the face.”

“Are you feeling okay?”. Kieu Mys voice sounded small, like she was whispering so only Fatou could hear.

“Im good, really.”, Fatou assured.

Kieu My reached out and stroked her thumb over Fatous forehead, circling the wound.

Fatous heart sped up. She didn’t dare to move, scared that the feeling of Kieu Mys soft fingertips against her skin would disappear. 

“Does it hurt?”, Kieu My asked and looked Fatou in the eyes.

“No”, Fatou whispered. She didn’t know why she did, but it felt like it was appropriate.

Kieu My nodded slowly and retreated her hand.

Fatous skin already missed the taller girls warm touch, the place where her pingers were burning.

Silence fell upon them. Kieu My took one final hit before trashing her cigarette and took a long sip out of her vodka bottle.

Fatou didn’t know where to look, her gaze switching from Kieu My to her feet, to the sky, to Kieu My again...

Just as things would have gone awkward, Kieu My spoke up: “You are really impolite you know?”

Fatou furrowed her brows, glad that the other girl ended the uncomfortable silence.

“How?”

Kieu My raised her eyebrows challengingly.

“You came to my birthday party without bringing a present

Fatou chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t know that was a rule”

“You should inform yourself better next time then”

Fatou nodded and shyly eyed the ground.

“Do you think you can make it up to me?”, the taller girls voice sounded suddenly, drawing Fatous attention to her again.

Kieu My was dangerously close, her eyes filled with lust. Fatou could see every single detail of her face. Her cheeks turned bright red and for a moment she thought that she should answer with a ‘no’ and just walk away because doing anything more than that would cause trouble but one more look at Kieu Mys deep brown eyes washed all the doubts away.

Fatou nodded slowly. “Yes I do”

And without giving herself any more time to think about how stupid and impulsive that decision was, she did what she never thought she would ever do.

She grabbed the other girls waist, pulled her close in a quick motion and connected their lips in a kiss.

Chapter Text

Samstag 00:00

It was hard to focus on anything else than Kieu Mys lips moving against hers. She didn’t notice the cold air blowing in her face, making goosebumps rise on her skin. But she wasn’t sure if the cold was the cause for that or if it was the fact that she had the most popular girl in school in her arms and her tongue in her mouth.

Her mind still hadn’t processed what was happening, her heart was racing and she felt oddly nervous. Her palms were sweaty but Kieu My didn’t seem to care. Her arms were wrapped around Fatous neck, keeping their bodies close. She kissed the other girl eagerly, almost hectically like she was in a rush.

Fatou tried her best to keep up with Kieu Mys pace, her hands resting against her sides.

Fatou didn’t think about who might see them, that this was one of the worst ideas she ever had or that she was supposed to be mad at the other girl.

She was too busy reciprocating Kieu Mys energy. She didn’t know what was gonna happen next, but also didn’t really care about that. She was living in the moment she was currently in, Kieu My so close to her not leaving a lot of space for other thoughts.

It turned out Kieu Mys lips were just as soft as they looked. 

Or even softer...if it was possible.

And even though they were standing outside freezing their asses off, loud chatter and music coming from the building where the party was still going and Kieu My tasted like alcohol, Fatou couldn’t imagine a better scenario.

Kieu Mys finger ran up Fatous neck, tangling into her hair. Fatou shuddered a little at the sensation. Kieu My grinned at that and repeated the motion, seeming to find joy in Fatous reaction.

Fatou squeezed the other girls hips in return, burying her fingernails into her skin.

Kieu My pulled away to groan and let her head fall back, causing Fatou to blush.

She didn’t know if Kieu My was just playing her or if she just found a magic spot. Not giving her any more time to think, Kieu My ducked her head again and went back into the kiss, taking Fatou by surprise.

The smaller girl felt lightheaded, her skin felt electric and she couldn’t think.

Suddenly Kieu Mys head dipped down and attacked her neck. Fatous breath hitched and she tried to control her rapid heartbeat. Her hands found Kieu Mys hair, caressing it. 

Fatous whole body felt like it was on fire. Kieu Mys soft lips moved against her neck, the sounds surrounding them faded away.

All of the sudden Kieu My pulled away abruptly. Fatou furrowed her brows and searched for the other girls eyes.

Kieu My looked surprised, shocked even. “I...”, she started but before she could finish her sentence she swung around, supported her weight with a hand on a nearby fence and threw up.

Fatou stood around dumbfounded but eventually rushed to her side and held her hair to prevent vomit from getting into it.

“There you go. Let it all out”, she mumbled with a sympathetic expression.

She looked around trying to find Kieu Mys friends but remained unsuccessful.

After a few minutes of rubbing the other girls back comfortingly, Kieu My finally stood back up and met Fatous eyes. She looked startled, like she just woke up from a nightmare.

“Are you okay?”, Fatou mumbled with a worried expression on her face.

For a minute Kieu My was silent but eventually cleared her throat and answered: “I’m fine, don’t worry”

“S-sure? Should I get someone ? Do you wanna call your parents?”, Fatou wanted to know and offered the taller girl her phone.

Kieu My shook her head. “Chill Fatou, I’m not five”

Fatou swallowed audibly, the feeling of rejection floating through her body and she took a step back.

“I know um...but you look kinda...i don’t know, sick?”

“How charming”, Kieu My scoffed and bend over again, taking a deep breath, obviously struggling with something.

“I didn’t mean it like-“, Fatou tried to explain but was interrupted by Kieu My emptying her stomach again.

After the sudden mood change in the girls behavior Fatou hesitated, wondering if she would help the taller girl or leave her alone. But when she heard Kieu My yelp quietly she shook her doubts off and placed her hand on her back to calm her down.

Kieu My sunk to her knees and sat down on a dry spot on the ground, seeming exhausted.

Fatou crouched down in front of Kieu My and examined her face.

Kieu My looked pale, a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. 

“Um, I have water.”, Fatou mumbled and reached into her purse.

Kieu My accepted it thankfully and took a small sip before offering it to Fatou.

“Keep it.”, Fatou declined.

“Can you um...get Ismail? They will take me home.”, Kieu My asked quietly.

Out of everyone in the world...why Ismail?

But Fatou tried not to let her annoyance show and simply nodded. “Of course. Stay here. I will hurry”

With that she got up and let her palms run over her jacket, straightening the material out.

Normally, her mind would immediately have gone to the kiss and she would have daydreamed about it but the thought of having to talk to Ismail was taking all the space in her head.

She remembered seeing Ismail and Constantin making out against that one wall so she decided to go there first, hoping that they were still at it.

And they were.

Fatou saw them from afar, a relieved sigh escaping her lips and sped up. She wasn’t happy about talking to Ismail AND Constantin so she wanted to get it over with as fast as possible.

She felt awkward when she arrived next to the couple and cleared her throat. But they didn’t hear it over the music so she sent a short prayer to heaven and placed her hand on Constantins shoulder.

The boy immediately flinched and pulled away from Ismail, staring at Fatou stunned.

Ismail had also noticed Fatou and looked like they just saw a ghost.

“What the fuck?”, Ismail exclaimed.

Constantin didn't say a word, he just stared at Fatou, his hand still against Ismails chest.

“You need to come with me”, Fatou shouted.

Ismail chuckled. “Sorry babe, I’m into dicks only”

Fatou rolled her eyes. “No, you need to come now. It’s about Kieu My.”

“About who?”

“Kieu My!”

Ismails face expression changed and they gently pushed Constantins hands of them.

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. She suddenly started throwing up and she looks pretty wasted.”, Fatou answered truthfully.

Ismail and Constantin exchanged a look and Ismail stepped closer to Fatou so she could understand them better.

“Did something happen before she threw up?”

For a moment Fatou thought about telling Ismail the truth but decided that it would just be unnecessary drama so she shook her head.

Ismail nodded and let their eyes roam over the crowd like they were looking for something. Then they leaned forward and whispered something into Constantins ear who nodded and disappeared into the mass of people.

“Okay take me to where she is”

Fatou nodded and wordlessly pushed her way outside.

They rounded the corner and Fatou pointed at Kieu My who was still in the same position and nipped on the water bottle.

She had a relieved expression on her face when she saw Ismail. Ismail sat down next to Kieu My and put their arm around the girls shoulder.

They nodded something inaudible into her ear and Kieu My shook her head.

Ismail was totally focused on Kieu My and didn’t even pay attention to Fatou. The small girl felt out of place and shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

Suddenly Zoe, followed by a confused Finn and a panting Constantin appeared and made her way to her best friend.

“Are you okay?”, Zoe cooed and stroked Kieu Mys cheek, “is it because of him?”

Fatou frowned. Him? Did Kieu My have a boyfriend ? Oh god, did she just cheat on him?

Before she could think more about it, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you. You can go now.”, Zoe said, looking Fatou in the eyes.

Fatou nodded, confused by the entire situation and looked at Kieu My.

The girl had her head down, like she was ashamed.

So Fatou wordlessly turned around and walked away from the scene.

“What the fuck”, she breathed out.

Sonntag 12:23

Fatous palms were sweaty. 

She was standing in front of her best friends door, a bowl of desert in her hands. Her finger hovered over the doorbell.

What should she tell her?

‘Oh hey Ava, good to see you...oh by the way i made out with Kieu My and then she threw up and now I am worried about her even though she was an asshole to me and I am supposed to be mad at her forever’

Fatou sighed and shook her head before straightening her posture. It was just Ava. She was her best friend. If she couldn’t tell Ava, who could she tell?

Now determined to tell her best friend about what happened on Friday Fatou pressed the doorbell and chewed on her lower lip.

Just after a few seconds the door fell open and Fatou was met with Anne, Avas mother.

“Hello Fatou!”, Anne beamed at her and Fatou greeted back.

She had always gotten along pretty well with Avas family, particularly Anne. She reminded Fatou a lot of Ava. They were both funny, open, strong and a little stubborn but incredibly empathetic.

Thats why Fatou got along so well with Anne, she was like an adult version of Ava.

“You are here to see Ramon I suppose?”, Anne joked.

Ramon was Avas little brother. He was a few years younger than her and in the same grade Kieu Mys brother Thuan was in.

Ramon was very energetic and could be really exhausting but Fatou rarely ever got annoyed with him. She didn’t mind talkative or energized people. She was very patient.

“Actually I’m here to see you.”, Fatou went along with it, smiling and showing off her dimples.

Anne faked an emotional sob. “I knew someone would come and clean the bathroom for me”

Fatou bit the inside of her cheek and glanced around, looking for Ava.

“I think Ava will do”, she mumbled, earning a chuckle from Anne.

“She’s in her room. Probably FaceTiming Marc, she is totally obsessed with that boy!”

Fatou nodded, gave Avas mom a little wave and disappeared behind the corner.

She heard quiet chatter behind Avas door and knocked to avoid interrupting her best friend in an awkward  situation.

“Come in!”, Avas voice sounded immediately and Fatou did as she was told.

“Chibi!”, Ava cooed and opened her arms. She was lying on her bed with her phone propped up against her cupboard and Marc smiling at Fatou through it.

Fatou gave Marc an awkward wave and made her way to her best friend.

“I missed you”, Ava mumbled and hugged Fatou, almost tripping her best friend.

Fatou chuckled dumbfounded and patted Avas back.

The taller girl noticed Fatous nervous behavior and furrowed her brows.

“What’s up? Is there something you wanna talk about ?”

Fatou nodded, still not having spoken a word.

Ava nodded slowly and got up, grabbing her phone.

“I gotta go now. Talk to you later?”, she spoke to Marc.

The boy nodded, an understanding expression on his face.

“Call me tonight”, he pouted.

Ava grinned. “I promise, Babe”

Fatou rolled her eyes as the couple started blowing each other kisses.

She was happy that Ava was happy but she just wasn’t a big fan of all the super cheesy gestures most relationships provided.

“Okay.”, Ava mumbled when she finally ended the call and sat down next to Fatou, “tell me”

Fatou took a deep breath and met the other girls curious eyes.

“Promise not to tell anyone. Not even Marc!”, Fatou demanded.

“Okay?”, Ava smiled in confusion. Fatous eyebrows rose in disbelief.

Ava rolled her eyes and extended her pinky.

Fatou gladly linked hers with Avas and adjusted her position on her best friends bed.

“Okay uhm...this is gonna sound ridiculous and I don’t even realize it yet but...okay, so remember how I was kinda...in touch with Kieu My the last weeks?”

Ava frowned. “Yeah?”

“So at her birthday party I needed some air.”

“Okay?”, Ava chuckled, completely oblivious of what was about to hit her.

“So I went outside”, Fatou continued, her hands finding the hem of her shirt and rubbing it between her thumb and finger.

Ava gestured her to go on.

“And Kieu My was outside too.”, Fatou explained and studied her best friends features for any kind of reaction.

To say Ava was confused was an understatement. The girl had no idea what Fatou was trying to say and shrugged. “So you guys talked or what?”

“Uh, we did talk yeah”, Fatou confirmed and let her eyes drop to her hands.

“Okay?”

“And then we um....kindamadeout.”, Fatou muttered.

“Huh? You did what?”, Ava asked because she was sure that what she just heard couldn’t be correct.

“We kinda made out.”

Avas mouth fell open. “What?”

“Look”, Fatou took Avas hands, “I don’t know what I was thinking okay? I was so mad at her last week. But she made such an effort so I would forgive her and on Friday we talked and it was so exciting and easy and I just felt free and then she kissed but suddenly she threw up and I had to get Ismail and Constantin who were suddenly super serious and caring and I don’t know what to do now. Like should I ask how she is doing or just let it go?”

Ava stopped her friends rambling with a squeeze of her hands.

“Fatou, she told you not to make a big deal out of the fact that you were literally drugged.”

“She didn’t mean it like that she ju-“

“And now you are defending her, what’s wrong with you? Fatou, this girl is unpredictable and toxic and dangerous. And she is selfish and egocentric.”

“No, Ava I really don’t think she is a bad person.”, Fatou mumbled.

“She is a master manipulator, Fatou. All of them are”, Ava argued.

Ava eyed her best friend and noticed how sad Fatou looked. She wrapped her arm around her shoulder.

“Do you like Kieu My?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. I hope not.”, Fatou said.

“Yeah me too.”

Montag 9:19

“Hurricanes” from Dido was playing softly through Fatous headphones when she crossed the student lounge. 

Her first class got canceled since her teacher was sick so she could sleep longer and just arrived at school.

She yawned and let her body relax to the music that was playing in her ears.

Quietly humming along, she arrived at her locker and opened it, taking the books she needed out and shoving them into her bag.

Her eyes met the picture of the Cashqueens which was glued to the inside of her locker door. They had taken it on the first they had hung out together. Fatou smiled at the memory. She never would have thought that they would become such an important part of her life.

Her fingers grazed over the photo, her mind replaying the event.

Her daydream was interrupted by the sound of a locker snapping shut next to her.

Fatou jumped a little and searched for the source of the noise, slightly startled.

Out of every student at this school, Kieu My was the last one Fatou would have thought of when thinking about who would be standing next to her.

Her breath got caught in her throat and she couldn’t help but stare.

Kieu My looked equally as shocked as her. It was obvious that the girl didn’t notice Fatou and was overwhelmed by the sudden confrontation.

Fatou slowly pulled her earphones out and cleared her throat.

You got this, come on.

“Hey”.

Great, how creative  

Kieu My didn’t answer. She was staring at Fatou like she was an alien. Fatou turned around in confusion, wondering If there was something behind her that caught Kieu Mys attention but her search was unsuccessful.

“Um...”, Fatou stammered and shoved her phone into her pocket, “are you okay? I mean...after what happened on Friday.”

That brought Kieu My back into reality. The girl blinked rapidly a few times and then turner her head like she was looking for something.

She still hadn’t answered Fatou, which made the smaller girl pissed. She was just trying to be nice.

Kieu My either didn’t notice it or just didn’t care since she suddenly turned around, not even giving Fatou another look and walked off.

“What?”, Fatou chuckled in disbelief. 

What the hell is wrong with her? I thought we were cool...especially after what happened on Friday

So Fatou walked after the tall girl, jogging a few meters to catch up with Kieu My.

“Kieu My-“, she started but was interrupted by Kieu My spinning around.

“Look Fatou, here is a reality check. I got wasted on Friday and I kissed you. Along with like 10 other people. Its called a party hookup. Don’t act like you are my girlfriend or some shit like that.”, she hissed, so their classmates couldn’t hear them.

Fatous face instantly turned red, a cold wave washing over her body.

Kieu Mys face was dangerously close, Fatou could count her eyelashes.

The taller girls eyes dropped down to Fatous lips before coming back to her eyes and before Fatou could say something, she walked away, leaving her standing like an idiot.

Trying to comprehend what had just happened, Fatou scratched her neck and started chewing on her lip.

She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or angry or sad or....

“Fatou!”. Someone placed their hand on Fatous back, making her flinch.

Fatou turned around and was met with a slightly confused Mailin.

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you...”, she tilted her head to the side, “are you okay? You look pale.”

“I...No. I need to tell you something. Nora too.”, Fatou stated.

“Okay? Are you sure you are okay? You are scaring me.”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”, Fatou assured her friend.

“Okay”, Mailin mumbled and pulled Fatou with her towards their table.

Fatou sunk into her seat next to Ava without a word, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Woah, someone is in a bad mood today”, Nora chuckled, oblivious of how Fatou was feeling.

Ava chuckled but looked at Fatou with a concerned expression.

“Saw her all along by the lockers. She said she wanted to tell us something.”, Mailin explained.

Fatou didn’t dare to look her friends in the eyes.

“Please keep this a secret tho, okay?”

“Of course”, Nora assured her, earning an eager nod from Mailin.

“Ok, look...”, Fatou lowered her voice, “Kieu My and I kissed on Friday and everything was cool with us. Like better than cool, we were getting along quite well actually. But today I saw her at the lockers and asked her if she was okay because she got sick at her party and she ignored me. So I went after her and asked her again and then she snapped at me and told me that it was just a party thing and that I should stop acting like I was her girlfriend or something.”

“Wait slow down...You and Q kissed?”, Nora whisper-yelled.

Fatou nodded. “And you were right Ava. You were right, she is manipulative.”, she added and turned her head towards her best friend.

“I am sorry Chibi.”, Ava said truthfully and placed her hand on top of Fatous.

“Me too”, Mailin added, “Fuck Kieu My Vu, seriously.”

Fatou grinned. “Yeah fuck her.”

Freitag 20:11

When Nora had invited the Cashqueens to their house for a small ‘get-together’, Fatou had been excited. She always loved spending time with her friends and really needed the distraction.

Now she was standing in the kitchen, staring at dozens of teenagers dancing and shouting excitedly.

Apparently, Ismail had overheard Noras phonecall to Ava, asking her to bring some alcohol to their meeting and told everyone they knew.

Typically Ismail.

At first Fatou was bummed. She was really looking forward to hanging with her friends but now she wasn’t even disappointed anymore. She needed some action in her sad,  confusing life right now and what was better for that than a big party?

Nora was angry tho. She wasn’t planning on hosting such an event and definitely wasn’t prepared.

She had threatened Ismail to let them clean up everything after everyone was gone but Ismail had just laughed and told her to ‘loosen up’.

Fatou was leaning against the kitchen counter, a red cup with some kind if juice mixed with vodka in it. She wasn’t drunk, but not sober either. Sober enough to notice everything around her, drunk enough to have proper fun.

She took another sip, eyes meeting Nora and Josh talking on the couch. They were both smiling widely, chuckling between sentences. They were completely wasted. 

Fatou chuckled and looked for the rest of her friends.

Mailin was dancing with some random guy she had just met through Josh and Ava was cuddling with Marc somewhere.

Fatou downed the rest of her drink, oblivious of the appearance of another person in the kitchen.

“Be careful with those, lightweight.”

Fatou immediately recognized the voice and flipped the other person off.

“Its my first real drink, Yara. Chill out.”

Yara held her hands up in defense.

“Just tryna look out for you.”, Yara shrugged and nipped on her cola.

Yara never drank alcohol. Her dad was an alcoholic and did some pretty fucked up shit.

The girls biggest fear was turning into him, so she swore to herself that she would never drink a drop of alcohol in her life. Ever.

“I know. Sorry. I’m just really stressed.”, Fatou admitted.

Yara settled down next to her. “How come?”

Fatou shrugged. “I just don’t get her.”

“Kieu My?”

Fatou nodded. “We kissed last week.”

“Yeah, I saw”, Yara grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

“You did?”, Fatou asked.

Yara nodded. “So whats going on with you two?”

Fatou shook her head. “I don’t know dude. She was super nice and then she says something that just hurts me, then she is super nice and careful for another week, kisses me and then snaps at me on Monday. I don’t get her. What’s her deal?”, Fatou voiced her thoughts.

Yara chewed on her nails, thinking about something before smiling.

“I have an idea.”

She looked around, seemingly searching for someone.

“Huh?”, Fatou asked in confusion. She had no idea what the other girl was trying to do.

“There she is.”, Yara mumbled.

“Who? Kieu My?”

“Yes. Okay, Im gonna kiss you, act like you like it”

“Wait WHA-“

Fatou was interrupted by a pair of lips on hers, shutting her up.

Fatou had kissed Yara before. Plenty of times actually. They would kiss occasionally at parties, just for the fun of it. Their kisses usually were rather friendly and light. 

But this one was....lets say Yara really put her entire heart into it.

Fatou was surprised to say at least. Her hands found Yara sides and she tried her best not to break out in laughter when the taller girl wrapped a leg around hers dramatically.

After a few seconds Yara pulled away, wiping her mouth.

“Keep your tongue in your own mouth Jallow”, she joked.

“Well sorry, YOU were the one that just attacked me with such a kiss.”

“Yeah you are welcome”, Yara winked and patted Fatous shoulder.

“So, lets see how Kieu My liked that performance.”

The girls turned their heads only to find Kieu Mys spot empty.

“Where did she go?”, Yara wondered.

“See? I told you she is confusing.”

“She really is. She was basically drooling over you all evening, stealing glances every 5 seconds and now she just leaves? I’m sorry.”

Fatou shrugged. “Its okay. Thanks for trying anyways. I need to take a pee, I wanna get all that spit out of my system you pushed into me with that kiss”, Fatou teased and walked away.

“Fuck you!”, she heard behind her and chuckled.

She rounded the corner and entered the relatively quiet, dark hallway.

She just needed some silence and peace.

Suddenly someone grabbed her and pushed her against a wall.

“What?”, Fatou hissed.

“Are you in love with her?”

Kieu My?

“What?”

“With Yara”

“N-no”

“Good”

A pair of lips attacked her neck.

“Good”

Chapter Text

Samstag 00:00

A few weak rays of moonlight peaked through Kieu Mys curtains, reflecting on the thin layer of sweat on Fatous forehead. The girl was still panting slightly, her stomach rising and falling, hands resting against the soft fabric of the other girls bedsheets.

Her hair was open and messy, spread on the pillow like a wild flower. Her cheeks were rosy, lips swollen from all the kissing she had been doing. Fatou felt exhausted but more alive than ever. 

“I’m getting water, do you want some too?”, a voice beneath her sounded and Fatou tilted her head to catch a glimpse of the the girl.

Kieu My was sweating too. A few loose strands of her hair stuck to her forehead, the rest was tied in a messy ponytail. Her makeup was slightly smudged.

“Yeah, I could use some water”, Fatou agreed and gave Kieu My a swift smile.

Kieu My nodded and got up, walking around her room in search for a shirt.

Fatou couldn’t help but stare at her bare back. She thought about the incident in the locker room a few weeks prior. How she couldn’t keep her eyes off the other girls naked abdomen, how a gravitational force pulled her towards her.

Now she allowed herself to look. Kieu Mys skin was soft, illuminated by the soft moonlight. As the girl bent down to pick up a t shirt she saw on the ground her shoulder blades shifted together.

The taller girl slipped into the plain white shirt, pulling the hem down so it covered her back and thighs. She adjusted her panties, making sure it was covering as much as it could in case she would accidentally meet one of her parents and turned to Fatou, mustering her for a few seconds.

Said girl immediately noticed that she was being watched and lifted her head to meet Kieu Mys gaze.

Fatou had expected Kieu My to look away right away at the eye contact but to her surprise it didn’t seem to bother her. Kieu My continued staring, seeming completely unaffected by Fatous response, before eventually adverting her gaze and leaving the room without another word, closing it quietly behind her.

Fatou waited a few seconds, like she was expecting Kieu My to come in again, before letting out a sigh and pulled up her arms, stretching her body.

She felt like she had just went for a run for 20 hours straight. Every muscle in her body hurt.

Truth was, Fatou had only slept with two people before Kieu My.

Her first girlfriend and Yara. The latter happened when both girls were drunk so it didn’t really count for Fatou.

So it had theoretically just been one. 

Fatou had been incredibly nervous earlier that night when their heavy make out session turned into Kieu My unzipping her jeans in a hallway where just one door separated them and about 10 of their friends.

She wasn’t really the most experienced but she decided to not let it show and just go with the flow and Fatou had the feeling that she did a pretty solid job.

When things had gotten just too explicit in the flats hallway, Kieu My had invited Fatou to her place and despite of her insecurities Fatou had immediately agreed.

Here she was now, after 3 hours of (literally) breathtaking sex, in Kieu Mys bed, clothed in her underwear.

And even though she felt higher than ever, there was a dull feeling in her stomach. Because Kieu My was hot and exciting and nerve wrecking but she was also reckless, mean and everything but honest.

Fatou couldn’t help but feel like she was being used. She closed her eyes and tried to push those thoughts away. Because as much as she knew she was making a fool out of herself, she felt such a strong attraction towards the other girl...not necessarily a sexual one....it felt different.

She bit the inside of her cheek and thought about whether she should tell Ava. Her best friend hadn’t been happy about the fact that they had kissed, what would she say when Fatou told her what occurred tonight?

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by the door opening slightly, Kieu My sliding back into her room.

Fatou turned her hand and extended her hand, accepting the water bottle Kieu My offered her.

She sat up and gulped down the cold liquid. She once again felt Kieu My staring but this time didn’t reciprocate it.

The room was wrapped in uncomfortable silence. 

Fatou bit her lower lip and placed the bottle on the nightstand, eyes on the slightly opened window.

Kieu My stood silently in front of the bed for a few moments, but eventually slipped under the covers, her arm brushing Fatous. That pulled Fatou out of her trance. She turned her head, a pair of brown eyes meeting hers. Fatou wanted to say something, anything and for a moment it seemed like Kieu My wanted to say something too but she couldn’t think of something appropriate.

So the girls just stared into each other’s eyes, expressions blank and unreadable. 

And suddenly it wasn’t weird anymore. 

Fatou did not know for how long they remained in that position, also she didn’t want to know.

“Are you tired?”, Kieu My asked  quietly, like she was afraid to scare Fatou away.

The smaller girl nodded. “Are you?”

Kieu My copied Fatous nod. “Do you want me to close the window?”

“Um, no it’s fine. I like the air...unless you are cold or something-“

Kieu My shook her head. “No, I’m okay.”

She let her gaze drop to Fatous lips and for a second the other girl thought Kieu My would kiss her but instead the girl turned around, so her back was facing Fatou.

Fatou didn’t move at first, her thoughts overcrowding her mind, gaze on Kieu Mys back.

“Go to sleep Fatou”, she suddenly heard the other girl mumble.

Fatou oddly didn’t even wonder how Kieu My knew that she was overthinking and keeping herself awake.

She instead turned around as well, her back pressed against Kieu Mys, and pulled her knees to her chest, getting into her usual sleeping position.

“Good night Kieu My”, she mumbled.

“Good night Fatou”

Samstag 10:49

The sound of something smashing woke Fatou up.

She jolted awake, despite her still half-asleep state immediately concerned.

“Are you okay?”, she asked in a hoarse voice.

When she got no answer, her eyes flew open, looking around trying to find both Kieu My and the source of the loud clatter. 

She noticed loud chatter behind the door and frowned.

Was that...Kieu Mys voice?

“Đồ ngốc! That was my coffee you little shit!”

“Xuống đây, just make a new one”

“Okay and who is gonna clean this up? Definitely not me!”

“Yes you! Its your coffee.”

“YOU knocked it over.”

“Why are you so stressed? Is it because of the visitor in your room?”

“What? How-“

“Next time you take someone home make sure to not throw their clothes all over the apartment.”

Fatou cursed internally. They didn’t think about that last night. 

“Cái này không phải của anh đâu, Thuan.”

So she is talking to her brother?

„Why don‘t you introduce me to them?”

Fatou could hear the grin in the boys voice and remember how her brother would tease her whenever her girlfriend was sleeping over.

Not that her and Kieu My were girlfriends...

“Câm miệng. And clean the mess up, I am definitely not doing it and I’m sure that Mom and Dad won’t appreciate seeing a mess like that in their living room.”

“I don’t know what whoever is in there sees in you”

Fatou heard a soft thud, like someone was pushed and noticed the sound of footsteps approaching. She immediately pulled the covers up and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling bad about overhearing the conversation.

She heard the door being pulled open and an annoyed groan from Kieu My.

She noticed a ruffling sound, followed by a quiet zip. She was desperately trying to make out what Kieu My was doing so she allowed one eye to open the slightest bit to catch a glance. 

Kieu My was on her phone, looking busy scrolling through her social media.

So Fatou decided it was a good time to “wake up“ and slowly stretched limbs and let out a sleepy groan in order to get the other girl’s attention. And she was successful. Kieu My jumped, as if she forgot Fatou was even there. She even dropped her phone and quickly picked it up again, trying to hide a blush creeping on her cheeks.

“Morning”, she mumbled.

“Good Morning”, Fatou answered and scratched her stomach. Thats when she noticed that she was still just in her underwear.

“Um”, she slowly sat up, “did you see my shirt anywhere?”

It took Kieu My some time to answer the question, she looked at Fatou with a blank expression before looking around in search for the item of clothing.

“I just had it”, she stated and ruffled through the pile of clothes on her chair. Finally she found Fatous shirt and handed it to her.

“Thanks”, Fatou smiled and pulled it over her head.

“Do you uhm”, Kieu My started, “do you want coffee?”

Fatou nodded. “Sure.”

Suddenly Kieu Mys face fell. “Oh um. Actually you can’t”

Fatou chuckled in confusion. “Okay?”

“My brother smashed the container...but I can make new one”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it”, Fatou assured her.

Kieu My nodded. “Well if you need anything, the bathroom is down the hall last door on the right and the kitchen is just right around the corner.”

“Got it. Thanks.”, Fatou answered.

Then there it was again. The silence. The awkward silence.

Fatou fidgeted with her fingers uncomfortably and cleared her throat.

Kieu My was on her phone, pretending to type something but Fatou saw in the reflection of the mirror behind her that she was just tapping on her lock screen.

The sound of Fatous mobile saved them from some more moments of pure awkwardness.

Fatou let out a little relieved sigh before reaching for her phone and answering it.

“Yes, Fatou Jallow?”

“Fatou? Where the hell are you?”

Fatou frowned.

“Ava?”, she sat up straight, “w-why?”

“Ilai texted and said you didn’t come home tonight and asked me where you were. I covered for you and told him that you were here. Where are you?”

Fatou scratched her forehead and shot Kieu My a glance who was looking at her curiously.

“I....I really can’t say that right now Ava.”

“Are you being kidnapped ? Are you okay? Oh my god, say ‘teddy bear’ if you are being kidnapped”

“No, Ava, chill. I am good. Im just....busy?”

“What do you- wait....WAIT, did you get laid?”

Fatou felt her blood rush into her cheeks.

“Ava, not now.”

“Oh my god, tell me everything ! Who is she? Or he?”

“He?”

“I don’t know, maybe you wanted to experiment?”

“Well, SHE is here right now so...”

“Oh fuck...sorry Chibi. But tell me everything once you get home, okay?”

“Yeah, we will see”, Fatou avoided the question, “I really gotta go now okay?”

“Okay, sure. Have fun with....mystery lady.”

“T-thanks. Bye”

Fatou ended the call.

“Who was that?”, Kieu My wanted to know.

“Ava”

“Oh”, Kieu My looked at the ground, “she doesn’t like me much, does she?”

Fatou gave her a sympathetic smile.

“I get it. Ive been an ass to her...kinda still am.”

“Why?”, Fatou asked.

Kieu My shrugged. “It’s just a little complicated you know?”

Little did Fatou know that Kieu My was not talking about the Ava situation here.

Montag 13:11

Fatou hated history class.

Not because she wasn’t interested in history...it was quite the opposite to be honest. She actually enjoyed watching documentaries about historical stuff and found it quite interesting. It was just that her teacher was a 60 year old sexist, racist (and probably homophobic) little bald man who thought he was the king of the world.

Just hearing his voice pissed Fatou off. Thats why she decided to just blend it out. She was doing a few lazy doodles into her textbook when she felt a pen stabbing into her arm.

“Pssst Fatou”,Ava hissed.

“Hm?”, Fatou hummed, not taking her eyes off her doodles.

“Kieu My is staring at you”

Fatous head shot up immediately, searching for the other girls eyes.

Kieu My was apparently taken by surprise by the sudden reaction and jumped a little before turning her gaze to the board.

Fatou internally cursed herself for her reaction. She didn’t want to seem so desperate.

“Woah chill.”, Ava chuckled, “but like, whats her deal? Isn’t she like the biggest asshole to you? I mean, yeah you did kiss once but like, keep it together girl it was just one kiss.”

Fatou shrugged and rested her chin on her hand. 

“Whatever, I don’t even wanna waste a single thought on her anymore. Let’s talk about...mystery lady. And the fact that you are still keeping her identity a secret.”

“Yeah, because she is not out yet”, Fatou lied.

“I know, Chibi. But can’t you just-“

“No, Ava. I really can’t. Sorry”

“Okay. Mystery girl it is then.”

Fatou gave her an agreeing nod.

“Aye, I’m gonna go pee, I will be right back”, she mumbled and raised her hand.

“Yes, Jallow?”, Mr Plotte took notice.

“Can I use the toilet please?”

Mr Plotte rested his hand on his desk and rolled his eyes overdramatically.

Yeah, fuck you too

“Please? It’s urgent”

“Ugh when the world depends on it, go then. Before you urinate in here.”

God, Fatou wanted to rip him apart.

“Thank you”, she thanked him politely. She knew she needed to be the bigger person here.

She exited the classroom and cursed her teacher quietly. She entered the girls bathroom and entered a stall. While she was relieving her bladder, she thought about what Ava had  said about Kieu My. She didn’t know what to think. On the one hand Kieu My was a total asshole, bitchy and egoistic but there were some moments where Fatou saw something different.

Deep in her thoughts, Fatou made her way to the sinks and washed her hands.

She didn’t even notice the second figure entering the bathroom.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her side and jumped in shock.

“What the fuck?”, she exclaimed and spun around.

Kieu My was standing there, looking surprised.

“What...are you not happy to see me?”, she grinned and took a step closer.

“I...I mean...I don’t know.”

“Do you need a reminder?”

Before Fatou could answer, Kieu Mys lips were on hers, shutting her up.

The taller girls hands were sliding over her sides, fingers intervening behind her back.

Fatou tried her best to reciprocate the kiss while her mind was trying to figure out what the hell was happening right now.

When Kieu My pulled away to take a breath Fatou jumped in: “How um...how are you?”

Kieu My furrowed her brows and chuckled. “Who cares?”

Then she captured Fatous lips again, a bit more aggressive now.

As much as she was enjoying this, Fatou felt that weird feeling in her stomach again.

The feeling telling her that she deserved better than this, she deserved to be more than just the popular girls toy.

“Stop”, she said against Kieu Mys lips. The taller girl immediately pulled away, backing up from Fatou completely.

“What happened ?”, she asked, looking genuinely confused.

“I don’t want this”

“Huh?”

“Look Kieu My, I know this is all just fun and games for you but I never asked to be a part of this”

Kieu My frowned. “Of what?”

“I don’t know. Your little game? Maybe it’s something you instas do as a competition or something...who gets the most people on one year or something...whatever, I don’t care. But I don’t wanna be a part of that.”

Kieu My stared at her, mouth slightly open. “Fatou-“

The bell interrupted them.

“Just...leave me alone”, Fatou said calmly and without another gaze she turned around and left the scene.

Freitag 23:50

“ILAI! QUIT WATCHING AVATAR ON NETFLIX, ITS MY TURN NOW”, Fatou yelled over the floor.

“Daughter, we are trying to sleep”, her dad groaned from across the hall.

“Thank Ilai, not me. He is the one that can’t stick to arrangements.”.

Fatou had been a little edgy the past few days. The entire Kieu My situation really bothered her and she was letting her frustration out on her family.

“Chill Fafa, there are only 10 minutes to go and then I will go to sleep anyway”, Ilai yelled back.

Fatou groaned in frustration and slammed her door shut.

“Hey, door!”, she heard her father growl.

Fatou face-planted her bed and tried to calm her anger down. 

She knew that she wasn’t being nice to her family and she felt sorry. But she had to endure their moods as well. Her father could be such a diva sometimes. Especially when his favorite soccer team was doing bad. So they should survive this.

Her phone rang and Fatou chose to ignore it. It was probably just Ava and Fatou wasn’t in the mood to talk.

It eventually stopped ringing and Fatou relaxed into the comfortable silence. But just a few seconds later her phone rung again.

She picked her head up curiously. Did something important happen?

Die reached for her phone and checked the display.

Kieu My Vu is calling 

Fatou frowned. Kieu My was calling her? Was this a prank?

Hesitantly, she picked up and pressed her phone against her ear.

“Hello?”

“Fatou?”, Kieu Mys voice sounded.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Good. I called you.”, Kieu My giggled.

Fatou heard a lot of voices besides Kieu Mys.

“Where are you?”, Fatou wondered, “what are you doing ?”

“Jesus, did I call Fatou or Mom? Hehe”

“You are drunk”, Fatou noticed.

“100 points to Gryffindor”, Kieu My mumbled.

“Where are you?”, Fatou repeated her question, “is someone with you?”

“I am at the bar. The one where the party was.”

“The insta party?”

“Yuppp”

“Are you alone?”

“Noooo, here are a looooot of people. And you are here, see?”

“Is there a taxi anywhere?”

“No, but a really nice man offered to give me a ride to-“

“No, DONT go with him. I will come get you okay? Stay where you are.”

“Am I allowed to dance?”

“As long as you stay where you are. Can you send me your location ?”

“I don’t know how to...the words keep flying away”

“Okay. Are you standing outside ? At the entrance ?”

“Yes.”

“Okay stay there”

Fatou shoved her phone into her pocket and made her way into Ilai room. After she told him what was going on, he immediately agreed to drive her.

Luckily, Kieu My was unscathed. A really nice woman saw her and took care of her until Fatou arrived.

Sine Fatou couldn’t remember Kieu Mys exact address, they decided to take Kieu My home with them.

“Careful”, Ilai hissed as they lowered Kieu My onto the bed.

“I got it”, Fatou assured.

“Sure?”, Ilai wondered.

“Yes, thank you for driving”

“No problem”

He left the girls and closed the door after her.

“Okay, scoot! I need some space in this bed too”, Fatou demanded and nudged Kieu My slightly. She then sat down and eyed the other girl.

Fatou wasn’t even sure if she was still awake until the taller girl spoke.

“You are so sweet. And pretty.”

“Oh.”, was all Fatou got out, completely taken by surprise.

“And um, I’m sorry for fucking us up. I tend to do that, I always fuck things up. I don’t know why, I guess I am just immune to luck or something”

She chuckled but had a serious expression on her face.

“It was not a game”

Fatou finally met her eyes.

“It was not a game”, she repeated, blank expression on her face, “it would just not work out.”

Fatou frowned. She didn’t know how to react.

“You are my favorite. My favorite crime.”

Chapter Text

Saturday 7:10

“Ow, fuck!”

Fatou stumbled towards the sink and let cold water run over her burnt hand.

With the other hand she quickly grabbed a lid and put it over the pan to prevent more oil from jumping out and hurting her.

Hissing quietly, she eyed the dark red marks on her skin. That mark was definitely gonna last a few days.

The girl sighed and turned the water off. She usually always made sure to cover the pan. But this morning she was all over the place. She even forgot to stir the eggs before putting them into the pan. Fatou wasn’t too good at cooking, but she never forgot to stir the eggs when ever she made scrambled eggs.

Something was messing with her head today....or rather someone.

And that someone was still passed out on her bed. 

Fatou scratched her forehead in stress, last nights event still playing in her mind...

(flashback to Saturday 00:00)

“You are my favorite. My favorite crime”

Fatou felt a cold shock run through her body, realization slowly settling in. She opened her mouth, because she felt like she needed to say something, anything, to ease the tension but she couldn’t get a word out.

Rapidly blinking she closed her mouth again and looked Kieu My in the eyes. The taller girl was staring at her, expression unreadable. Suddenly overwhelmed by the situation Fatou let out a breathy chuckle, averted her eyes and ruffled through her hair.

Her eyes roamed around her room, desperately trying to find something to hold on to. She noticed the full moon through her window and memories of their night together flooded her brain, memories of the moonlight on Kieu Mys soft skin, memories of kisses, memories of touch. She felt herself shiver and closed her eyes to interrupt her train of thoughts.

“Fatou?”, Kieu Mys voice sounded behind her. Fatou didn’t turn around. 

“Say something please”, the girl added and Fatou could practically feel her staring.

The small girl took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and finally turned around, facing Kieu My. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at her expectingly. Fatou noticed the dark circles under the girls eyes and wondered where they came from.

“Um...I...”, Fatou started. She felt Kieu Mys eyes on her, her pleading, almost begging stare. But Fatou couldn’t tell what they were asking for. So she continued: “There is the bathroom. You can go change if you want to....or....if you don’t that’s fine, too.”

Kieu My let out a shaky breath, looking at the ground and nodding.

“Okay”, she said in a small voice and quietly got up.

“Can you walk? D-do you need help? You were pretty wasted when you calle-“

“I’m fine Fatou”, Kieu My cut her off.

Fatou swallowed hard and nodded. “Okay”.

And she swore that when Kieu My threw one last glance over her shoulder she saw tears in her eyes.

(end of flashback)

“Fatou?”

Fatou flinched and spun around, her body colliding with her brother’s who let out a laugh.

“Fuck, shit.”, Fatou mumbled.

“Good morning to you too, little sister”

“Shit, Ilai you scared the shit out of me”

“Yeah sorry for that”, he scratched his head and threw a glance at her pan, “Dude your eggs are burnt”

“Huh?”. Fatou followed his gaze and noticed the burnt food.

She quickly turned the stove off and buried her face in her hands, letting out a groan.

“Are you okay?”, Ilai frowned and leaned against the counter.

“Yes...No...I don’t know.”, Fatou struggled.

Ilai nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Fatou chewed the inside of her cheek and shook her head. “Thanks tho”

Ilai shrugged it off.

The siblings remained silent for a few seconds, before Ilai started:”There is something I want to talk about with you tho”

“Hm?”

“That girlfriend of yours”

Fatou almost choked on her spit and looked up in shock. “My girlfriend ?”

“Yeah? The girl I had to drive you to in the middle of the night?”

Fatou chuckled. “You are so dramatic, Ilai, it wasn't ‘in the middle of the night’.”

“I was already in my Pyjamas”, Ilai countered.

“Hey, its not my fault that you got the sleep schedule of an 80year old man”

They broke out in giggles.

Once she calmed herself down Fatou shook her head and answered: “She is not my girlfriend, Ilai.”

“Okay.”, Ilai frowned, “but you do like her right?”

“She is just a classmate”

“Bullshit”

“Ilai!”, Fatou exclaimed.

“You cant fool me, Fafa! I watched Bend It Like Beckham with you when you were little, I know what your heart eyes look like”, Ilai stated.

Fatou gave him a playful slap against his shoulder. 

Just as she was about to answer, the sound of a door shutting caught the siblings attention.

Shortly after, a slightly confused-looking Kieu My stumbled into the kitchen.

Her eyes fell on Fatou and it was like something clicked inside her brain. She stood up straight and cleared her throat. “Hi”.

“Hi.”, Fatou said.

“Good morning.”, Ilai greeted the girl.

Uncomfortable silence followed, both girl averting each other’s gaze.

Ilai rolled his eyes and spoke up. “Fatou got up early to make breakfast”, he teased.

“You did?”, Kieu My wondered.

Fatou shot her brother an angry glance before turning her attention towards Kieu My.

“Uh, yeah. But its burnt so...no breakfast.”

“Oh”

“Yeah.”

After another moment of awkward silence Kieu My informed: “Well, I’m gonna go home now anyways so....”

“Do you need a ride? I have to drive to work anyways...”, Ilai offered.

“Oh um...no, but thank you, its really close, walking is fine.”

“You do you”, Ilai shrugged and left the kitchen, leaving the girls alone.

“So um...”, Fatou started, “about last night...-“

“Yeah thank you for picking me up.”, Kieu My interrupted her.

“No problem”, Fatou answered, slightly startled.

“Okay. Im gonna...”, she pointed towards the door.

“Yeah, okay.”, Fatou nodded.

“Bye.”

“Bye?”

Kieu My disappeared around the corner and Fatou could hear the clicking sound of her door shutting close.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Suddenly her phone buzzed.

Ilai: your gf is impolite 

Fatou: I’d say she is clever. Wouldn't want to sit in ur dirty ass car as well. Also, NOT my gf!

Ilai: you and your gf both have no taste in cars

Dienstag 12:10

“Okay, get together in your groups and continue working on the routine. And just for your information, I will be watching you practice and take notes. So give your best, always!”, the teacher announced. 

Fatou was panting slightly from her warm up practices and slowly made her way to the other side of the gymnasium where her and Kieu My usually practiced. 

As soon as she arrived there, she sat down on a bench and gulped down a few sips of water while scanning the gym for her partner.

She found Kieu My talking to Ismail a few meters away. They were whispering something, giggling a few times. 

At the sight Ismail, Fatou felt a dull sensation in her stomach. Since the party a few weeks ago, she had been scared of them. 

Kieu My seemed to notice the smaller girls staring since she threw a glance over her shoulder, looking at Fatou, and made her way over.

“Morning.”, she greeted Fatou. 

“Good Morning”, Fatou reciprocated the greeting.

The tall girl bent down to do some stretching.

Unlike Saturday, Kieu My seemed to be her overly confident, slightly bossy, motivated self again. 

“You are already warmed up, I see”, Kieu My noted.

Fatou felt the blood rush into her cheek, just now noticing the clearly visible sweat stain on her shirt. 

“Yeah”, she simply answered, trying to hide her embarrassment. 

Kieu My nodded and got up into standing positing again. “Can I have some of your water?”

Fatou furrowed her brows but handed her bottle over. 

Without a word, Kieu My took it out of Fatous hands and drank a few sips before giving it back to her. “Okay, do you remember the choreo?”

Fatou nodded, getting up. “Yes. I practiced it with my brother, so it should be flawless now”, Fatou said truthfully.

“Look at you”, Kieu My marveled, “ready to start then?”

“Yup”. Fatou nodded and took up her station behind her partner.

“3, 2 ,1, go”, Kieu My counted down. Perfectly synchronized , the girls executed their dance moves, catching the teachers attention.

“Beautiful, girls, good work!”, he yelled across the hall.

Kieu My smirked at the compliment and turned around, now facing Fatou so they could do their spinning transition. Kieu Mys sweaty hands grabbed Fatous, fingers linking. Their eyes met as they spun around, holding onto each other’s hands. 

Even though everything around them was blurred by their fast spinning, Fatou noticed Kieu Mys eyes dropping down to her lips for a swift moment. Her heart made a small jump, sending shockwaves through her body.

They eventually let go of each other and continued with their solo parts.

Eventually, the song ended and they came to a stop, panting heavily.

“That was good Fatou!”, Kieu My admitted, a smile on her face and held up her palm, offering a high five.

Fatou started smiling as well, as she did a little jump to reach Kieu Mys hand.

“Nice”, she breathed out, “I cant believe that you do this multiple times a week. Its so exhausting!”

Kieu My chuckled. “Yeah thats why I’m such a god at sports.”, she joked.

“Yeah I think I remember an incident when we played basketball in 10th grade”, Fatou teased her, causing Kieu My to blush and roll her eyes. 

“Your phenomenal athletic abilities really stood out, when you failed to catch the basketball Josh passed you from like 1 meter away and it hit your nose instead”

“Hey, it was a serious injury! I bled all over the gym, remember ?”, Kieu My tried to defend herself.

“Hmm... what I remember very clearly is how the teacher made me get an ice pack for you so I ran all the way to school and back and when I got back you were doing a TikTok with Zoe in the girls locker rooms”.

Kieu My started laughing. “Hey, that was my form of therapy !”

“Sure. I heard doing the renegade is especially effective for curing nosebleeds.”

“Okay, okay you got me. I cant catch a basketball. I suck.”, Kieu My admitted, grinning.

“Thank you. You are a great dancer tho”, Fatou countered.

“Thank you, jury”. Kieu My bowed, making Fatou join in on her laughter. 

“Kieu My!”, Ismail's voice sounded behind them, making the girls spin around like they just got caught doing something illegal.

“Can you help me with my steps? I keep messing them up”, Ismail asked.

Kieu My shot Fatou an apologizing glance before nodding. “Sure”

Fatou watched the other girl leave, her belly still hurting from how hard they were laughing.

Kieu My suddenly turned around and mimicked a basketball shot, causing Fatou to giggle.

She couldn’t remember ever having had such a nice conversation with the other girl. 

Donnerstag 15:29

Fatou took a bite of her apple. Calm music was playing through her headphones, the wind gently ruffling her hair. 

Her skateboard made a clattering noise as it rolled over the rough street. The weather was finally warm enough for her to skate again. She had missed it. 

Her left hand clung to her phone. She had to carry it herself since her coat didn’t have any pockets. 

As the girl breathed out, cloudy air formed in front of her face. Her nose was already numb and there was a pretty good chance that it was already running, but Fatou didn’t care at all. She enjoyed being outside and being able to have some alone time. 

Her mom had asked her to get groceries and she had immediately agreed. She had spent all day on her math homework and felt exhausted. A small trip to the grocery store therefore seemed like the perfect distraction. 

Fatou navigated her board into a small alley. It was a shortcut she had found a few weeks prior.

It was a small street with multiple restaurants, inaccessible for cars. It was usually pretty quiet since most of the restaurants didn’t open until around 8pm. 

But as she rode down the street she noticed a loud bang coming from her left.

She turned her head curiously and noticed a person next to a trashcan that seemed to be knocked over, struggling to get it to stand again.  

Fatou slowed her board down, jumped off, tucked it under her arm and made her way over to the person.

“Hey, do you need help?”, she shouted, trying to get the persons attention.

And she did. The person turned their head and looked at Fatou.

To say Fatou was surprised was an understatement. She would never have thought that she would meet Kieu My here. 

“Hi”, the other girl greeted as she came closer, “yeah, help would be great, I got my hands full!”

“Yeah, I can see that”, Fatou answered and looked at the containers in Kieu Mys hands.

The smaller girl bent down and pulled the trashcan up, locking it into its standard position.

“Thanks”, Kieu My chuckled in embarrassment and threw the containers into the bin.

“Yeah, no problem.” Fatou just now noticed the work uniform Kieu My was wearing.

“Do you work here?”, she asked.

“Yeah, its my parents shop. I help out sometimes...its kind of a family business.”, Kieu My explained.

Fatou knew that Kieu Mys parents owned a business, but she never knew which one it was. 

“Cool...my dad is a cook, too”, she let Kieu My know.

“Really?”

“Yep”, Fatou confirmed. 

They fell into uncomfortable silence, both girls struggling to find the right thing to say.

“Kieu My, whats taking you so damn long?”, a voice sounded from behind them. 

They turned around and were met with Kieu Mys mother, standing in the doorframe of a small restaurant. 

As she noticed Fatou, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Fatou!”, she exclaimed, “looks like we are meeting again after all”

Kieu My furrowed her brows, oblivious of the conversation Fatou and her mother had after she took Fatou home when Ismail drugged her.

“Yeah...um...Duyen, Duyen yeah!”, Fatou stammered, happy about remembering her name correctly.

“What are you doing here?”, Duyen asked.

“Just doing some shopping....saw Kieu My on the way”, Fatou explained.

“Alright. Well, Kieu My, you can talk to your...to your friend for 5 more minutes but we are really busy so don’t be too long”, Duyen offered and pressed a kiss against Kieu Mys temple, making her blush wildly.

“Okay, Mama”, Kieu My sighed as her mother walked off.

“Have a nice day, Fatou! Looking forward to meeting you again soon!”

“Y-yeah, you too”, Fatou yelled back and waved at the woman.

Kieu My let out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry, shes a....a people person”.

“No worries, I like her”, Fatou answered truthfully.

“So, um shopping huh?”, Kieu My tried to continue the conversation.

“Yeah...groceries. My mom wants to cook for us tonight so...we need some garlic and stuff”, Fatou explained.

“Nice”, Kieu My stated.

“So...I think I’m gonna go. Don't wanna keep you from work!”, Fatou said.

Kieu My nodded. “Right. Oh, um Fatou?”

“Hm?”

“There is a party at my flat tomorrow. My parents aren’t home and stuff. It starts at nine. You can come if you want”

Fatou frowned. “You are inviting me to your party?”

“Yeah.”, was all Kieu My got out.

“I don’t know...I barely know anyone there.”, Fatou noticed.

Kieu My chewed on her lower lip, a thoughtful expression on her face. 

“It would make me really happy if you came to my party”, she said in a quiet voice.

Fatou felt her heart speed up. She slowly nodded. “Okay, got it. Yeah, I’ll come.”

Kieu My let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, cool. Yeah, nice.”

“Alright...bye.”

“See you tomorrow”

Freitag 22:00

“Are you sure I look okay?”

“Yes, Fatou. Calm down, you look amazing”

Fatou eyed herself in the mirror, Ilai next to her.

“You are not just saying that?”

“I promise”

“Good.”

Ilai grinned and crossed his arms. “Wanna look pretty for your girlfriend?”

Fatou rolled her eyes. “She is not my girlfriend. But yes, I am going to her place now. She invited me to a party”

Ilai let out a whistle. “She invited you to her party”, he repeated teasingly.

“Shut up.”, Fatou mumbled.

“Does that mean you do like her?”, Ilai asked in a more serious tone.

Fatou shrugged. “It’s complicated. I shouldn’t like her. I really shouldn’t. But there is just something about her that...ugh, I don’t know. And she was so nice to me this week. I am really trying to not read that much into it but its really rare for her. I don’t know if she is being real or if she is screwing with me...”, she opened up.

Ilai listen carefully and nodded. He placed his hand on Fatous shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

“If your gut says that there is something special about her, I think it would be naive not to explore that. But if she messes with you, then shes not worth it.”

“Okay”, Fatou mumbled, “thank you”

“No problem”

They shared a hug.

“Can you give me a ride?”, Fatou asked.

“Absolutely.”, Ilai confirmed and grabbed his keys, “lets get the girl”

Fatou arrived at Kieu Mys house 10 minutes later. Her hands were sweaty from nervousness and she slowly counted to 3 as she breathed in to control her heartbeat.

“Here we go”, she mumbled and pressed the doorbell.

Just after a few seconds, the door fell open, revealing Zoe.

“Fatou! You came!”, she greeted the girl and pulled her into a hug.

Slightly uncomfortable, Fatou nodded. “I did”

“YO Q, LOOK WHO IT IS!”, Zoe yelled over her shoulder.

Kieu My appeared next to her best friend. And the sight of her almost took Fatous breath away. She wore a stunning outfit, had her hair open and fancy make up on her face.

“Hey”, Kieu My greeted her.

“Hi”, Fatou answered.

“Come in”, the tall girl invited her and closed the door again.

It was loud and hot inside Kieu Mys house, making Fatou sweat.

As if she knew, Kieu My said: “You can put your coat over there. Drinks are in the kitchen.”

Before she could even thank the taller girl, Kieu My had already disappeared into the crowd again, leaving Fatou alone.

“Okay”, Fatou exhaled and peeled her jacket off her body. After she hung her coat up, she made her way to the kitchen in search for something to drink. 

The small kitchen was filled with people Fatou didn’t know. She pushed her way through the crowd and reached for an empty cup. Her throat felt dry and she was a little dizzy.

Fatou poked the shoulder of the guy standing next to her and asked: “Do you know if there is any water?”

“Yeah, its in the hallway.”, the man replied.

“Thanks”

Her empty cup in her hand, Fatou made her way to what she supposed was the hallway. Lights were off, therefore she could barely see a thing. 

She stumbled across the hall and felt her shoulder collide with something, followed by a grunt.

Even though it was dark, she could make out the silhouette of two people clinging to each other, panting heavily, who she assumed had just tried to sneak off and hook up somewhere.

“Sorry for disturbing you guys, I was just looking for the wa-“

The weak moonlight shining through the windows highlighted Kieu Mys face. 

Her eyes were wide, lips swollen. She looked shocked, almost guilty.

OF course. Of fucking course. What the hell did I think?

“Um. You know what? Nevermind, I will be okay without it”

As she walked off, she felt a hand grabbing her arm.

“Fatou-“, Kieu My started but. Fatou cut her off.

“I think you made your point very clear.”, Fatou huffed and shook her arm off before storming off into the crowd, leaving Kieu My in the dark hallway. 

Chapter Text

Sonntag 13:34

Kieu My [friday, 22:41] : Where are you i cant find you

Kieu My [friday, 22:42]: Can we talk?

Kieu My [friday, 22:54]: Zoe said you left?

Kieu My [saturday, 01:17]: why did yuo leavv

Kieu My [saturday, 03:10]: im an iidiot

Kieu My [saturday, 10:30]: hi, im so sorry for the messages last night, I was drunk. 

Kieu My [saturday, 19:56]: i messed it up, didn’t I?

Kieu My [sunday, 13:34]: ok i definitely did

Fatou rolled her eyes and closed her messages app without even thinking about replying to the other girl. She was tired of it. She was tired of giving the other girl chances and getting her hopes up, just to be treated like garbage. Fatou believed in second chances, but a certain line cant be crossed. And with last Fridays actions, Kieu My definitely crossed that line. 

And even though she felt something for the other girl, Fatou knew her worth and had enough self respect not to answer Kieu Mys messages. 

She had left the party immediately after catching Kieu My with that guy and had locked herself in her room all Saturday. She had been so sure that Kieu My had changed, and ended up looking like a fool. 

Fatou chewed on her lip as the song inside her earphones changed. “Endless Summer” by Cro started playing. Fatou frowned as she remembered when she had last heard it. And who she was with then.

[flashback (to the events between chapter 4 and 5)]

-The party at Noras flat-

It was hard to keep up with Kieu Mys eagerness, but Fatou tried her best. She felt the other girls hot breath hitting her neck as she trailed her kisses down, making the smaller girls heart jump uncontrollably. 

“Shit”, Fatou cursed. She didn’t even know who she was cursing at. At Kieu My for treating her that way, or at herself for letting her.

Thousands of thoughts ran through her mind, excuses, resolutions, doubts, explanations.

And even though her mind this wasn’t right, every inch of her body refused to reject Kieu Mys actions. It was quite the opposite really. Her hand found the back of Kieu Mys head, forcefully pushing it closer to her, encouraging her to go further. 

Kieu My seemed to enjoy Fatous sudden eagerness and obeyed immediately.

Fatou would never have thought she would ever be in this situation. Almost getting laid in a completely open hallway, free for everyone to see if anyone would enter, her friends just a few meters around the corner. Apparently, Kieu My brought out that side of her. A fearless, adventurous, exciting side of herself she had never met before.

 Adrenaline rushed through her limbs, making her shiver as she let her hands run down the taller girls body without hesitation. 

She wanted this. And she wanted it now. 

As if she read Fatous mind Kieu My mumbled something into her neck, not even bothering to pull away from her. “My place is just a few minutes away from here”.

“Okay”, Fatou panted, feeling her chin being tilted to meet Kieu Mys lips in a feverish kiss. 

“Wanna get out of here?”, Kieu My asked and finally pulled away to look her in the eyes, as if she was making sure that Fatou really wanted it. 

“Hm”, Fatou nodded. She suddenly felt really comfortable as she grabbed Kieu Mys hand and led her through the crowd of people, not bothering to check her surroundings. She grabbed her jacket, Kieu My copying her actions. As soon as they exited the flat, Kieu My searched her hand again, linking their fingers as they hopped down the stairs, quiet giggles filling the building. Kieu My pushed the door open, leading them on the streets. It was already dark outside, the only source of light being some weak lanterns. 

“Come on”, Fatou heard Kieu My whisper and felt a strong tug at her hand. She blindly followed, gaining speed as she ran alongside the tall girl. The silence was filled with a mix of laughter and heavy breathing. They rounded a corner, leading into a dark alley. Kieu My suddenly stopped, almost making Fatou trip. 

She heard the quiet clicking sound of a key being shoved into a keyhole, followed by the thud from a door being pushed open. 

“Wanna go inside?”, Kieu My asked quietly. “Please”, Fatou answered, following Kieu My into the building. 

The tall girl pressed a light switch, filling the hall with dazzling light. Fatou eyes squinted, trying to get used to the brightness. “Sorry”, Kieu My chuckled and led Fatou to the elevator, entering it as soon as the door opened.

The girls leaned against opposite walls, eyeing each other. One could cut the tension with a knife. Fatous entire body felt like it was under an electric shock. She felt a little lightheaded but in the best way possible. She suddenly became hyper aware of her poor amount of sexual experience compared to what the other girl had probably experienced. She tried to push her worries aside as the door opened, revealing a floor with two wooden doors. Kieu My stepped out, Fatou following her lead, and unlocked one of the doors. She threw a glance at Fatou before entering what Fatou assumed to be her flat. 

“Quiet”, Kieu My whispered and slowly closed the door before getting rid of her jacket and shoes, patiently waiting for Fatou to do the same. Once they had gotten rid of that, Kieu My led them to her room, closing the door behind them. 

Fatou looked around, memories of the morning after Kieu My rescued her from her drug trip flooding her mind. Kieu My locked the door behind them and turned around. 

She cracked her knuckles, eyes never leaving Fatou as the smaller girl sat down on the bed. 

Kieu My seemed....nervous. Fatou wondered why. She’d assumed that Kieu My taking people home after parties was a common situation. 

“Do you wanna keep standing there or are you gonna come here?”, Fatou chuckled nervously, irritated by Kieu Mys behavior.

“Right”, Kieu My chuckled awkwardly and made her way over to Fatou, coming to a stop right in front of her.

She chewed on her lip before bending down and pecking Fatous lips. The smaller girls hands found Kieu Mys hips. 

“Are you sure?”, Kieu My asked once again.

“Yes.”, Fatou said, “Are you?”

Kieu My seemed taken aback by the question but slowly nodded. 

“Okay”, Fatou grinned and leaned in as-

“Fatou?”

Fatou jumped in shock. She looked up and found her brother grinning at her.

“Fuck Ilai, you scared me”.

“Its not my fault you're always daydreaming. Also, I brought you chocolate milk. Your favorite. So be nice”

“Sorry”, Fatou gently took the mug out of Ilai's hands, “thank you.”

“No problem”, he sat down next to her, “wanna tell me whats going on then?”

“So the hot chocolate was just a bribe to get me to talk?”, Fatou chuckled.

“Maybe. Or maybe it was just me being an amazing big brother and actually caring about your well-being.”

“Ugh, I’ll take the first option. Less scary”, Fatou joked, making her brother chuckle.

“No, seriously Fatou. What happened ? Does it have anything to do with the girl you are seeing...or not seeing...or semi seeing?”

Fatou chuckled bitterly. “Apparently the girl I am not seeing at all”

Ilai hissed. “What happened ?”

“Found her making out with some random dude.”, Fatou answered shortly.

“Fuck”

“I know”

Ilai stared at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. It was my own stupidity. I let her treat me like that way too many times”

Ilai frantically shook his head. “No, Fafa, you did nothing wrong. Damn it, you have feelings for that girl. Love makes us do reckless, naive things. None of this is your fault. She is an asshole, you have nothing to do with that”.

“I really thought she liked me, Ilai”, Fatou mumbled, feeling tears rise in her eyes. 

Ilai wrapped his arms around her protectively. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”, Fatou sniffled.

“Ignore her. Seriously, fuck her Fatou. This was her last chance. She has been an asshole to you for weeks, its your turn now.”

Montag 10:42

“And then we went to this super fancy restaurant and he told me he loved me. Seriously Fatou, I almost cried.”, Nora raved. 

Fatou tried her best to share her friends euphoria as she pulled her books out of her locker. 

“Thats great, Im so happy for you”, she smiled.

“Thank you...but that wasn't even the best part. After we got out of there he-“

A tall figure with black hair appeared at the other end of the hallway, catching Fatous attention. 

Kieu My waved Ismail goodbye and rummaged through her jacket in search of something.

“Fatou?”. Noras finger poked her side, making Fatou snap out of her trance. 

Fatou cursed internally and apologized:”Sorry. I’m just a bit tired.”

Nora frowned. “You've been ‘a bit tired’ a lot lately. Is everything okay?”

Fatou closed her locker shut and leaned against it, eyeing the ceiling.

“Can you keep a secret?”, she asked in a low voice.

“Of course, whats up?”, Nora assured and crossed her arms.

“Promise you won’t think less of me after I told you?”

“I promise? You are scaring me, Fatou. Did you do something bad ?”

“What? No, no, nothing”. She thought of Ilais words from the day before. “I...I did nothing wrong”

“Okay. What happened then? Does it have anything to do with Ismail...or the Instas in general ?”, Nora guessed.

Fatou shrugged. “Kind of. Its about...its about Kieu My”

Nora furrowed her eyebrows. “Okay? What did she do?”

Fatou sighed. “Well, as you already know we kissed at her party a few weeks ago and then she basically ghosted me.”

Nora nodded silently.

“So, at the part at your flat a few weeks ago...we kissed again.”

Noras eyebrows rose, almost meeting her hairline.

“But we didn’t just...kiss...we uhm...”, Fatou awkwardly scratched her nose, “we slept together”

“What?”, Nora whisper-screamed. Fatou blushed in embarrassment.

“Holy shit.”, Nora mumbled, “thats...interesting ?”

“Anyways um...”, the smaller girl cleared her throat, “we made out a few times after that but I told her I didn’t want to be just a random hookup. After that she called me, completely drunk, confessed that she had some kind of feeling for me and was really nice to me the following week. We got along really well and she invited me to a party she threw. But when I came there I found her making out with a guy. Now she wont stop messaging me.”

Silence followed. Nora had a concentrated expression on her face, as if she was trying to process what she just heard. “Thats...a lot. Wow.”, she mumbled.

“Yeah, I know”, Fatou sighed. 

“Damn.”

“Yup”

“And how-how are you? I mean...are you okay?”

Fatou scoffed. “To be honest? Not at all. I genuinely liked her...well, like her. Thats the problem.”

“Shit. Thats so fucked up. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was scared that you were gonna be mad or disappointed in me”

Nora shook her head and grabbed Fatous hand. “No. No, not at all. To be honest I am impressed”

“Impressed?”

“Yeah. You are so fucking strong and you don’t even know it. I wish I had your strength.”

Fatou felt like crying again. All of her worries regarding her friends reaction were washed away, replaced by the feeling of relief. 

“Are you gonna tell the others?”, Nora wondered.

“I don’t know...it’s over now anyways so why should I? It would only upset Ava and Mailin already has this intense hatred against the instas...it would only cause unnecessary drama and would reach more people than necessary. And at the end of the day its a thing between me and Kieu My.”, Fatou explained, earning an agreeing hum from Nora.

“Damn, I would never have thought Kieu My would be like that.”, the blonde girl said.

“Why?”, Fatou frowned.

“I mean...okay don’t tell anyone but I’ve heard some stuff from Zoe and I know that Kieu Mys life is actually very different from how she acts. She um...”, Nora scratched her neck and looked around to see if anybody watched them, “she has some problems at home. With her dad. He has some kind of...issues. Got into trouble with the police and all.”

Fatou furrowed her brows. She had never properly met Kieu Mys father before, nor has the other girl ever said something special about him. She had just assumed he was a normal father.

As if on cue, Kieu My passed the pair, throwing a glance over her shoulder, meeting Fatous eyes. The smaller girl quickly averted her eyes, not wanting to send wrong signals.

Even though her mind was running, trying to figure out what happened to her dad Fatou shrugged and whispered: ”Well, I guess you thought wrong.”

Dienstag 12:22

“I can’t believe that you literally had to fake your mom’s signature so you don’t have to participate and now she skips class”, Yara scoffed, “fuck, she never skipped before, why now? You could have just worked with Josh and me”.

Fatou was sitting on the wooden bench against the wall of the gymnasium, face rested on her palm and listened to her friends outburst. She had told her teacher she wasn’t feeling well and spent all morning faking her mothers signature so she could sit this lesson out and not be confronted with the presence of Kieu My, but the taller girl didn’t show up to class. So now she was sitting on the bench. She was bored, and had completely unnecessarily skipped a period. 

“YARA! YOU GOT ENOUGH TIME TO CHIT CHAT WITH YOUR FRIEND AFTER SCHOOL, START WORKING ON YOUR DANCE ROUTINE OR I’LL HAVE TO WRITE YOU DOWN”, their teacher warned. 

Yara rolled her eyes. “Yeah fuck you too”, she murmured, “sorry Fatou”

“It’s all good. I’ll just...enjoy your dancing from afar”, Fatou grinned.

“Glad to hear that I have such a loyal groupie”, Yara smirked back and winked before jogging towards Josh, who was waiting impatiently.

With that she left Fatou alone. The smaller girl tried to occupy herself with the performances of her classmates, but her thoughts couldn’t help but wander to what Nora had said about Kieu My.

Something was up with her dad...but what was it? He was in trouble with the police? Was he a criminal? Did he do drugs? Was he abusive? Was he... in jail?

Even though she swore to never waste another thought on the other girl again, she couldn’t help but wonder. Was Kieu My safe? 

She tried to shrug her thoughts off and focused on what Yara and Josh were doing. Their dance routine was still a bit clumsy but over all it was good.

She clapped enthusiastically and even whistled, making the pair blush. 

“Fatou? Come here please”, her teacher suddenly called her. 

Confused, she stood up and made her way over to him. “Since you are obviously healthy enough to cheer your classmates on, I’m sure you got the strength to take these back to the storage room.”. He handed Fatou a net full of soccer balls. 

Rolling her eyes internally, Fatou wordlessly grabbed the net. “Thank you”, her teacher mumbled.

She slowly turned around and left the room. She made her way through the slim hallway and pushed the door to the girls locker room open to get to the storage room that was connected to it with a door.

When she opened the door she froze. “Shit, of course”, she whispered just above her breath.

An equally as shocked Kieu My was staring right back at her. 

“I have to get this into the storage room”, Fatou blurted out. She was completely startled by the situation and didn’t know how to react.

“Okay”, was Kieu Mys answer. 

Fatou quickly turned to her side and pushed the door to the storage room open. She mindlessly threw the net into the darkness and quickly closed the door again. She felt incredibly uncomfortable, Kieu Mys eyes burning holes into her back. 

“You aren’t wearing a sport outfit.”, Kieu My stated. 

“I guess I’m just not in the mood to dance today”, Fatou shrugged, trying her best to keep her expression cold. She turned around and saw that Kieu My was in the middle of changing clothes. She quickly shut her eyes and turned around again. “Sorry”

“Its okay. Its nothing you haven't seen before anyways...”, Kieu My answered.

Fatou chose not to answer.

Heart pounding rapidly, a mixture of confusion, anxiety and pain circling in her stomach, she returned to the gymnasium, not even paying attention to her teacher and approached Yara and Josh.

“Are you okay?”, Josh asked as he saw her.

“Guess who I just bumped into”.

“No way.”, Yara panted, “so she is here.”

“She is.”, Fatou confirmed. 

“Who is here?”, Josh asked cluelessly.

“Kieu My”, Fatou answered quietly. 

“Okay? And?”, he wondered, visibly confused.

“She sucks. We don't like her.”, Yara said and patted his arm.

“Okay...right...Kieu My...sucks? And...I don’t like her”, he repeated.

“Thats it, Josh. Thank you”, Yara grinned proudly.

Fatou rolled her eyes playfully. Even though Kieu My absolutely deserved it, she didn’t like people picking on each other.

“She was an asshole to me but that doesn’t mean you can’t like her.”, she said to Josh, “the last thing I want is people teaming up against her or something. Its a private issue me and her have and it should stay between us as much as possible”

“Okay got it.”, Josh nodded.

“You are way too nice, Fatou Jallow”, Yara mumbled.

Donnerstag 14:07

“So you are coming over tomorrow?”, Ava asked again as she let her books slip into her bag.

Fatou nodded. “I can’t wait to just chill and watch movies with you again. It feels like its been ages”.

Ava shrugged. “You've been kinda...busy the last weeks.”

“I know, sorry, I just had a lot on my mind”, Fatou said.

“Like what?”

“Nothing important...so Im coming over at 10?”, she dodged the question. 

Ava gave her a weird look but let it go. “Yeah. Marc leaves at 9:30 and I wanna change into something more comfortable and tidy my room a little before you arrive”

“Alright. Ten it is. Looking forward to it”, Fatou smiled.

“Me too, Chibi. What subject do you have right now?”

“I...have no classes left. Imma go home now”

“Ugh, lucky you”, Ava groaned, “I have French.”

“Poor baby”, Fatou cooed and jokingly patted her best friends head, “I will send you all my strength”

“Thank you. Get home safely, love you!”

“Love you too!”, Fatou smiled.

The girls parted ways and on her way out of the building, Fatou pulled her headphones out. She plugged them into her phone and shoved the buds into her ears. Just as she was gonna press play on her playlist she noticed a familiar voice calling her name. 

Brows furrowed, she pulled the headphones out of her ears, unsure if she had just imagined it or if she had actually just heart Kieu Mys voice.

“Fatou!”

She turned around. Kieu My was speed-walking towards her, books clenched against her chest. The tall girl pushed the front door open and joined Fatou on the schoolyard.

“Hey”, she panted when she arrived in front of her. 

“What do you want?”, Fatou asked.

“Can- can we talk? Please?”, Kieu My requested in a small voice.

“What do you wanna talk about exactly ?”, Fatou scoffed. 

Kieu My looked at her, seemingly struggling to find the right words.

“You know what? Im sick of your bullshit, Kieu My. You get my hopes up, you are nice to me whenever you feel like it and then when shit gets a little to serious for you, you fuck me over.”

Kieu My shook her head rapidly, her bottom lip shaking. “It’s not like that”

“Oh no?”. Fatou felt the anger rise inside her. “All I know is that you asked me to not make a big deal out of the fact that I was drugged, you basically told me to fuck off after I asked you if you were okay after you threw up at that party and that you made out with a random guy at the party you basically begged me to come to. You know, I’m not your fucking toy. I don’t know if that shit worked with people in the past but believe me, I’m not one of those people. I trusted you and I thought we were a thing...or something...and I gave you so many chances. But enough is enough. And I’m tired of your half hearted excuses and promises. Just stay the fuck away from me, Kieu My.”

Without giving the other girl a chance to answer Fatou stormed off, leaving Kieu My standing in front of the building. 

She didn’t even noticed that it had started to rain, raindrops mixing with her tears of frustration. She quickly put her earphones back in and played music before giving her skateboard a big push.

Freitag 21:21

‘Hate U Sometimes’ was playing through her speakers, while Fatou stepped into her favorite pair of grey jogging pants. She quietly sung along as she checked her bag again. She was a little early but that didn’t matter. She would just leave a little earlier and take a longer route. 

Maybe Ilai wanted to join her for a little walk? 

Fatou pulled her phone out and was just about to text her brother when her door opened and said brother stormed in.

“Whoa, hello to you too”, Fatou chuckled in confusion.

“Shes here, Fatou”

“Who is here?”, Fatou asked cluelessly.

“The girl you are totally not seeing”

Fatou felt a cold wave washing through her body. “W-what?”

Ilai ruffled through his hair. “I don’t know Fafa, she knocked and I let her in. What am I supposed to do? Smash the door close and not let her in? Shit, I totally should have done that, right?”

“I- its fine. Where is she?”

“In the living room. She wants to talk to you”, Ilai informed her.

“Shit. Fuuuuuck. Why is she doing this to me again?”, Fatou moaned in desperation.

“Should I make her leave? I can do that, for sure. I’ll just say-“

Fatou interrupted him. “No, no, it’s fine, just let her in, I will deal with it”

“Sure?”

“Yes”

Ilai nodded, gave her an apologetic look and left.

Fatou heard his muffled voice from the living room and released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Why didn’t Kieu My just leave her alone after what happened the day before?

She heard footsteps approaching and leaned against her desk so her back was facing the door.

She noticed the girl entering her room. She heard her door being shut quietly. 

The room was filled with uncomfortable silence. Suddenly Fatou turned around and eyed her guest.

“Why are you here? Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?”, she snapped, annoyed and frustrated with the other girl.

“You did. But...you didn’t let me explain”, Kieu My answered quietly.

“I don’t want to hear it.”, Fatou said stubbornly.

That was a lie. Every inch of her body wanted to know why Kieu My did what she did but she couldn't give in. Not again.

“But you got it all wrong. Maybe I don’t even deserve the opportunity to tell the truth. Its okay if you hate me and if you continue to hate me after this but I just can’t let this end in a web of lies. I don’t know if thats selfish, if it is I’m really sorry but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t even try to make this right. So please, just give me a few minutes of your time and I promise I won’t talk to you ever again.”, Kieu Mu proposed.

Fatou was eyeing the ground. “Fine. You have 5 minutes.”, she mumbled.

Kieu My took a deep breath in and nodded. “Okay”

She leaned against the door and gave Fatou a quick look before clearing her throat.

“I first noticed you in ninth grade.”

Fatou furrowed her brows.

“Which is funny really”, Kieu My continued, “since we have been in the same grade since 5th grade. But I guess I never really acknowledged you were there before. Anyways, in ninth grade this boy, Emil, made fun of a girl for being Indian. Everyone thought it was wrong, but you were the only one speaking up. I admired that. Your bravery, your empathy. This may sound ridiculous and a little stalkerish, but I kinda watched you since then. I don’t know why, I just had this...this intense feeling...whatever, that doesn’t matter. When Ismail drugged you at that party I felt this intense anger towards them. We usually don’t give each other shit in our group but that time I just went crazy and yelled at them and tried to convince them that they went way too far. Ismail was a bitch for a few days but eventually apologized to me and promised they would say sorry to you.”

The tall girl exhaled audibly and scratched her forehead in stress.

“That day...that day I said those...things...to you...about not making a big deal out of it and everything....something happened that day.”, she admitted.

Curiously, Fatou let her gaze settle on the other girl.

“After my parents immigrated here, they had a really hard time. They lived in a pretty shitty neighborhood and nothing was working out well. They had to work an inhuman amount of hours to somehow pay their rent and...my mother was strong but my dad...he got sick. He had a baby on the way on a rent to pay and that was just too much for him, I guess. Well, he took something. Something some scumbag from his Neighbourhood sold him. And that helped him. And...well, since then he couldn’t live without that anymore.”

Kieu My bit her lip, trying to fight her tears. “My father is an addict.”

Fatou gulped. She suddenly felt sick.

“He got better over the years. Was in and out of rehab. He told us he was clean for real this time. He claimed he had another job at a supermarket at night and that he was trying to get his life together. The evening before day the incident in school happened we got a call from the cops. They had found him on the street. High. I know thats not an excuse, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad for me. I am just trying to explain why I may have been...not myself. As soon as I realized what I had said I wanted to take it back. And i still do. I am so sorry. You have every right to be upset about what Ismail did, for whatever amount of time you want. I fucked up so bad that day and was sure you’d never talk to me again. But you did. You gave me another chance. You kissed me at that party and gave me another chance. And that scared me. I wasn’t used to...getting second chances...to being around people I could rely on. It scared me and I felt like I needed to push you away before you could push me away. So I said that mean stuff at the lockers. And then I saw you kissing Yara at Noras party and I realized that it was already too late. I was already...I already...felt...something for you. And then I kissed you, and well...you know the rest. When I admitted my feelings for you and you rejected me, I was hurt and scared and mistrustful. After I invited you to that party last week, I was panicking. It was like a blackout. Because the truth is...I usually don't let myself get attached to people. I got used too much in the past. And when I got so attached to you, I freaked out because I didn’t know what I would do if you let me down too. So I tried to push you away. But you were...so fucking good and forgiving and nice and I felt like you saw right through me. And I am so sorry, because the least thing I wanted was to ever hurt you.”

Fatou didn’t even notice the tears falling down her cheeks. Her heart was racing at Kieu Mys confession. The other girl was crying too. 

She was facing the ground, trembling a little.

Fatou took a shaky breath before holding her hand out.

“Kieu My?”

The other girl didn’t dare to look up.

“Take my hand.”

That made the older girls head whip around. She looked at Fatous hand in disbelief.

“Please”. Fatous voice was shaking.

At that the other girl extended her hand and took Fatous, fingers linking together.

“I won’t let you down”, Fatou simply said, “I would never”

That was all it took to push the other girl over the edge. Kieu My started sobbing and leaned against Fatou. “I’m so sorry”, she cried.

“I forgive you”, Fatou whispered.

“I forgive you.”

Chapter Text

Samstag 10:38

„That tickles“

„Oh yeah?“

Fatou smiled, warm sunbeams shining on her face. She eyed the girl laying in front of her, messy bangs resting in her face, barely covering her forehead. She gently brushed a strand of hair out of the older girls face, letting her fingertips linger on her cheek for a few more seconds, just because she can touch her now, before turning onto her back and staring at the ceiling.

Her room was completely silent, the girls even breathing being the only source of sound. 

Fatou felt Kieu Mys fingers searching for her hand, so she lifted it up to grant her access.

Kieu My let her fingers slide between Fatous ones, thumb caressing the back of her hand and let out a chuckle.

“What?”, Fatou mumbled, without turning her head.

“Hm?”, Kieu My hummed.

“Whats so funny?”, Fatou followed up on her previous question.

She could feel Kieu My shrug. “Nothing. I’m just happy.”

A big grin formed on Fatous face. 

After Kieu Mys emotional confession the night before, the girls had been lying in bed together, cuddling and chatting. Being so intimate on an emotional level with Kieu My was new to Fatou. 

Rough kisses, harsh words and cold glances had turned into soft pecks, loud laughs and shameless staring. And even though she had found out about Kieu Mys complicated situation and accepted her apology, she found herself still being careful, restricting herself from giving the other girl everything she could offer. Fatou knew that it would take some more to make her fully trust Kieu My. And above all, it would take time. 

Kieu My seemed to sense the change in Fatous body language and furrowed her brows. “I can practically hear you thinking. Are you okay?”

Surprised by the girls recognition, Fatou gave her a quick glance before shifting slightly to get more comfortable and nodding. “I am okay”

“Do you wanna tell me whats on your mind?”, Kieu My asked, eyes not leaving Fatous face.

 Fatou took a deep breath and thought about the offer for a while, before answering:”Okay.”

She looped an arm around the taller girl, pulling her into her embrace, to reassure her that all of the doubts and conflicts she was about to reveal would not change the thing they currently had, nor her feelings for the other girl. 

Kieu My gladly accepted the invitation, resting her head on Fatous collarbone, arm wrapping around her middle. 

“I don’t know...it feels a little strange thats all”, she started. Kieu My looked at her, encouraging her to go on.

“The past weeks have been so chaotic and confusing, and it was always back and forth and now after we...talked....its so different. And not in a bad way, its the complete opposite. But I think I need some time to get used to this. This new side of you and this new side of...of us. I feel...vulnerable”

Kieu My let her talk, not interrupting her, not taking her eyes off her.

“And that doesn’t mean that I don’t forgive you or that I don’t wanna do this. It just means that I’m careful. And that I’m gonna need time to...fully get into it? You know what I mean?”, Fatou carried on, suddenly feeling a bit insecure about her ramblings.

It took some time for Kieu My to answer. 

“I get it. I totally do. I was...”, she let out a heavy sign and for the first time in their conversation adverted her eyes,  “I was an asshole. A huge, mean asshole.”

Fatou shook her head but Kieu My just chuckled. 

“No, Fatou, I am serious, I was an asshole and its okay to admit that. No matter what my intentions were, I did things that I am deeply ashamed off. And you are allowed to be as mad as you want, and you are definitely allowed to take as long as you need. I owe you so much more than just time, Fatou. And we can go as slow as you want, take as little steps as you feel comfortable with and if you decided that you don't wanna do this anymore, I would totally understand it. So, no pressure at all.”

Fatou swallowed thickly and nodded. She didn’t say anything back. Because she knew that no matter how much she wanted to disagree with the other girl, Kieu My was right. 

So she just slightly turned her head and pressed a short kiss on the girls head. 

It was oddly peaceful. Lying in bed with Kieu My, limbs tangled, talking about their feelings. 

Less than 24 hours before Fatou would never have anticipated to even talk to Kieu My anymore. It was funny how the universe worked. How it would bring two completely different people together, create a bunch of challenges and eventually solve them all. 

“Do you wanna listen to some music?”, Kieu My mumbled, her voice sounding sleepy.

“Sure. You pick something.”

Kieu My sat up and connected her phone to her Bluetooth box. “I’m just gonna shuffle my music”, she announced.

Just after a few seconds, Fatou recognized the song. “Endless Summer” by Cro was playing. 

Kieu My was silent for a while before slowly turning around to face Fatou, grinning. Fatou rolled her eyes and felt a blush creep up her cheeks. 

It was the song they had their first time to. And Kieu My seemed to remember it just as well as Fatou did. 

“Well...this brings back a fair share of memories.”, she chuckled awkwardly fiddling with her hands.

“Yeah, it sure does.”, Fatou agreed, also smiling. 

“I was so nervous that night.”, Kieu My admitted.

Fatou frowned. “You were nervous ?”

Kieu My nodded and slowly made her way back into Fatous embrace.

“Why?”, Fatou wondered, genuinely curious. Kieu My didn’t seem nervous at all.

“Well, it was my first time.”, Kieu My shrugged.

“Huh? First time with a woman?” Fatou asked dumbfoundedly.

“First time in general”.

That made Fatou rise into a sitting position, pushing Kieu My up with her.

“You’re kidding.”, she accused the other girl.

Kieu My chuckled and shook her head. “Why would I joke about that?”

Fatous eyebrows rose, completely overwhelmed by the brand new information. It was obviously not a problem at all, that she had slept with a virgin but she would never have pictured Kieu My to be one.

“Wow. Sorry, I don't wanna make this awkward or anything, I’m just...surprised.”, Fatou breathed out, “I really thought you were...i don’t know...very experienced at all of that and that I was a meaningless hookup for you.”

Kieu My shook her head. “Not a meaningless hookup. It actually meant a lot to me. I was so fucking scared of messing up. For real, when you were in my room and I realized how real this was getting, I was almost peeing myself.”

“We could have stopped, you know? You didn’t owe it to me or anything. If I had known, I had asked for you consent more or would maybe have been more careful or-“

Kieu My shut Fatou up by pressing her lips on hers. 

“I wanted it. And you were perfect. Couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”, Kieu My assured, her forehead touching Fatous.  

“Okay”, Fatou whispered, before connecting their lips in a sloppy kiss, wrapping her arms around the girl and pulling her on the mattress with her. She felt Kieu My smile into the kiss.

“Is this song like a kink of yours or what?”, she grinned against Fatous lips as the smaller girls hands sneaked under her top. 

“Shut up”, Fatou grinned and rolled her eyes playfully. 

The girls broke out in giggles, quietly kissing and hugging each other. 

“Fatou.”, Kieu My spoke up.

“Hm?”

“Thank you for giving me another chance. I will do everything in my power to make you feel comfortable with me. I promise.” 

They sealed the promise with a kiss. 

Sonntag 11:10

Fatou was standing at Avas doorstep, a bowl of her friends favorite pasta in her hand. She pressed the doorbell, anxiously awaiting a response.

A few seconds passed until a sleepy voice sounded through the speakers. “Who is this?”

“It’s um, it’s me, Fatou.”

She was met with silence and for a second Fatou thought Ava would not let her in. But eventually the familiar buzz of the door sounded, inviting Fatou in. 

The girl pushed the door open and was met with Ava. Her best friend was still in her pajamas, arms crossed in front of her chest, a stern expression on her face. 

“So you finally decided to show up?”, she said.

Fatou felt a jolt of guilt in her stomach and nodded. “Yeah...I’m sorry for missing our date. Something...something happened and I couldn’t come over.”

Ava was visibly pissed but Fatou saw a glint of curiosity in her eyes.

“I know its early but...I made your favorite pasta. And I wanna apologize.”

Ava nodded silently, eyes flicking between Fatou and her hands.

“Okay.”, she agreed, “I forgive you”

Fatou let out a relieved sigh and quickly got rid of her shoes.

“But you have to tell me what disturbed our plans. You owe that to me”, Ava added, raising her eyebrows jokingly.

“Thats fair.”, Fatou chuckled, “but lets go to you room. Its kinda...uhm...private”

Ava agreed and led Fatou to her room. Fatou closed the door behind them and dragged her sweaty palms along her trousers. She knew that Ava was not gonna approve of Kieu My. But she also knew that she had to let her know. No more secrets.

“Okay. Im gonna tell you what happened.”

Ava sat down on her bed, giving Fatou her full attention.

“Remember the morning after the party in the flat? When you called me and I was with someone ?”, she asked nervously.

Ava grinned. “Of course. I could never forget mystery girl. Wait...was she the one crushing our plans?”

“Yeah”, Fatou answered hesitantly.

“Damn. So you left me hanging so you could get laid? How classy”, Ava joked.

“No, no I didn’t get laid. It was not that.”

Ava frowned. “Okay? What happened then?”

“She came over to apologize.”

“Apologize ? What for?”

Fatou took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Ava...Kieu My is mystery girl.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Fatou had never felt this uncomfortable in her life. She felt her best friends eyes on her, her own gaze fixed on the ground. 

“You had sex with Kieu My?”, Ava asked unbelievingly.

Fatou nodded her head.

“Do the others know?”

“Nora knows. I told her last week.”, Fatou admitted. 

“So Kieu My came over on Friday?”, Ava asked again.

Fatou nodded.

“And then she apologized.”

Fatou nodded again.

“Okay...um...and what happened then?”

Fatou finally looked up.

“I forgave her.”

Ava scoffed and looked out her window. Fatou felt tears dwell up in her eyes. She didn’t know why, but she felt like she let her best friend down.

“I forgave her, Ava.”, she repeated, “I forgave her and I don’t regret it. She did some fucked up shit, some shit I will never forget, but she explained everything to me and believe me or not, she is struggling as well. Life really fucked her up. And she is willing to change, willing to do whatever it takes for me to forgive her. And you know what? I believe her. And I know that you are not happy about this but- but this is my decision and even though I know you just want to protect me, I need you to respect it.”

Ava turned her head so she was facing Fatou again. She was also crying. 

“What if she fucks up again, Fatou?”

Fatou took a deep breath and sat down next to her best friend.

“Then I will have to deal with it.”

Ava sighed. “I really don’t think you are doing the right thing, Fatou.”, she started, “but you are right. Its your life. Its your decision. And I respect it.”

Fatou released a breath she didn’t know she was holding and almost tackled Ava with a hug, making the other girl giggle.

“Just please...don't be too mean to her.”, Fatou mumbled.

“Please. For me”, she added.

Ava groaned. “You are lucky that I love you so much. Yeah, yeah I will try to not show her how much I dislike her.”

“Give her a chance”

“We will see, Chibi. This girl better be so god damn nice to you that your entire face wont stop hurting from smiling.”

Fatou laughed and pulled away.

 “Hey, you disapproved of the idea of apple with pepper first too and now you love it”, she tried to convince her friend.

“Yeah but Kieu My is not a snack I eat everyday for breakfast-“, Ava chuckled.

Her eyebrows rose and a mischievous grin formed on her face as she eyes Fatou.

“Don’t you dare-“, Fatou warned.

“You on the other hand-“ Ava started, wiggling her eyebrows, but her teasing was cut off by Fatou slamming a pillow into her face.

“You are gonna regret this”, Ava laughed and lunged forward to grab one of her stuffed animals.

“Ava”, Fatou said, “Thank you. I love you.”

Ava rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too. But you being all sweet won’t protect you from this stuffed animal attack”

Just as Fatou wanted to protest, something soft collided with her face.

Yeah, she deserved that.

Dienstag 11:49

Fatou basically ran to the gymnasium.

It was the first time she was genuinely excited for P.E..

It may have had something to do with a certain dark haired dancer she was dying to see again. 

She had told Mailin everything about her situation with Kieu My on Monday. Her friend was...surprised to say at least. But just like Ava she respected her decision and even suggested setting a meeting up to properly meet the girl. 

Fatou and Kieu My hadn’t really seen each other since Saturday.

They had been sending each other little text messages throughout the days and exchanged a small greeting when their paths crossed on their way to class on Monday, but they didn’t get the chance to kiss, hug or even properly talk to each other.

And Fatou missed her. 

So she made sure to be very on time to this class, hoping to catch Kieu My before class started. 

But when she arrived at the locker room, the only one meeting her eyes was Yara.

Fatou sighed in disappointment. “Oh, its just you”

Yara laughed. “Well, sorry Miss Jallow, I didn’t know you were expecting someone”

“No, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t want it to sound like that.”, Fatou apologized, her cheeks red from blushing.

Yara just smiled. “Don’t worry about it. But seriously, who were you expecting ? Do you have a secret girlfriend or something that I don’t know about ?”, she teased.

Just as Fatou was about to answer the door opened and revealed Kieu My.

Fatou felt her heart jump and Yaras eyes widened in realization.

Kieu My looked stunned by the attention she was receiving by both girls.

“Uhm, is everything okay?”, she eventually asked.

“Yeah, everything is perfectly fine. I will leave you guys alone now.” Yara answered before Fatou could say anything and made her way to the door.

“Have fun.”, she winked before shutting the door behind her, leaving the two flustered girls by themselves.

Fatou turned around and gave Kieu My an apologetic smile. “Sorry”, she chuckled awkwardly.

Kieu My just grinned, obviously amused by Fatous nervous state, while getting rid of her coat and bag.

“It’s all good, Fatou. I was just a little confused.”

Fatou nodded and quickly got rid of her own jacket. She didn’t know why she was suddenly this nervous around Kieu My after they had cuddled all Saturday. 

But Kieu My didn’t seem to mind. 

She untangled her shoelaces and looked up, brows furrowed. “Since when are you so early for class?”, she asked playfully, a grin on her face.

Fatou couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on her face and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just really care about my athletic education.”

“Really?”, Kieu My went along.

“Yeah. Plus my dance teacher is hot.”, Fatou said boldly. 

“Herr Nadel?”, Kieu My asked jokingly, a hand placed on her chest as a dramatic effect.

“Ha, ha. Very funny. You, you idiot”, Fatou rolled her eyes.

Kieu My just chuckled quietly. “Yeah I am experiencing the same thing. I have a very attractive student.”

The door busted open and a few classmates stormed in, loudly chatting, making Fatou jump. 

She quickly looked down and peeled her shirt off of her body. 

“Fatou?”

The sound of her name made her look up.

Kieu My was already fully changed and smiled at her. 

“Do you want me to wait for you?”

A bit overwhelmed by the attention, Fatou shook her head. “Nah, its fine. Just wait in the gym for me- I will be ready in a minute”

“Alright”, Kieu My agreed and left the changing room.

Fatou quickly pulled her shirt over her head and changed into sweatpants before following the girl. 

As soon as she entered the gymnasium her eyes searched for Kieu My. She was so caught in her own world that she didn’t even notice Josh and Yara sneaking up behind her.

“I knew it”, Yara whispered into Fatous ear, making the smaller girl jump in surprise.

“You knew what?”, Josh asked in confusion.

“Fatou and Kieu My are like a thing now.”

“B- but I thought we hated Kieu My and she was an asshole”, Josh mumbled, remembering their conversation from the previous week.

“Y-yeah, well...she apologized so you don’t have to hate her anymore.”, Fatou clarified.

“I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it.”, Yara celebrated and wrapped her arm around Fatous shoulder, “looks like our kiss DID help after all”

“Your kiss?”, Josh wondered, “This is too complicated for me. But um, good luck Fatou.”

Fatou chuckled. “It is a little complicated, you are right. But I think its all solved now. Thanks Josh.”

“Maybe you should join your dance partner now because she has been staring at you since you came in”, Yara informed the younger girl.

Fatous eyes searched for brown ones and she was finally successful. Kieu My was standing a few meters away, next to Constantin and Isi, who were in a conversation.

A little hesitant at first Fatou made her way towards the trio. Kieu My smiled comfortingly and took a few steps to meet her halfway. 

“Hello pretty lady”, she greeted her. Fatou felt her body relax a little. 

“Hello.”, she answered, noticing Constantin and Isis gaze on her. 

Much to her surprise Kieu My took a step forward and placed her hand on her shoulder, leaning in to give her a brief peck.

“Ignore them.”, she mumbled, “they are just intimidated by you.”. Fatou nodded silently and laced their fingers together.

Kieu My smiled contently and pulled the girl with her, passing Constantin and Isi.

“Kieu My what the-“, Isi started but was immediately cut off by Kieu Mys glance.

Fatous heart pounded violently against her chest, a mixture of nervousness and relief spreading in her stomach. 

“So, did you warm up already ?”, Kieu My asked.

Yeah, this was definitely gonna be one of Fatous favorite P.E. lessons.

Donnerstag 17:10

“I knew it. You asshole!”

Fatou looked up from her homework in confusion. Her brother was standing in her room, seeming shocked and unbelieving at once.

“What? What are you talking about Ilai?”

“Im talking about you being a liar! She IS you girlfriend. I knew it and you said she wasn’t. And then you told me some shit about her being unfaithful or something...Did you say that to trick me into letting her in last Friday?”

Fatou sighed and placed her pen on the table before turning around in her chair and eyeing her big brother.

“That wasn't a lie. We had some really...complicated times. But she apologized on Friday.”

“And now you are girlfriends?”

“Fuck, I don’t know Ilai.”

Ilai shrugged and sat down on the edge of Fatous bed. “Must have been one hell of an apology.”, he mumbled, searching Fatous eyes.

Fatou nodded.

“I know it’s your private life but uhm...be careful please. I don’t wanna see you that hurt again.”, Ilai said, a genuine expression on his face.

“Thanks...I will, I promise.”, Fatou agreed but started furrowing her brows, “wait...speaking of ‘private life’, how did you know that we are...a thing?”

“Saw it on your phone”, Ilai shrugged.

“My phone?”

“Yeah you left it on the kitchen table. Her message popped up.”, Ilai explained casually and took her phone out of his pocket.

Fatou opened her mouth to protest but decided against it. Instead, she got up from her chair and threw a hoodie at him. 

“Ouch, what the fuck?”, Ilai groaned. 

Fatou lunged forward and took it out of his hands. 

“Don't touch my phone”, she hissed.

“Sorry, sorry, okay? But it kept buzzing, it annoyed me. Can you please tell ‘isi’ to chill with the messaging game?”, Ilai defended himself.

Fatous mind went blank.

“What?”, she asked and looked at her lock screen.

1 new Message from Kieu My

9 new instagram Messages from isi.downtoearth 

“What the fuck”, Fatou mumbled to herself.

“I know Im not supposed to look through you phone, okay? I’m sorry, seriously but it wouldn’t stop buzzing and I was just planning on putting it in silent mode”, Ilai tried again.

“Ilai please get out”, Fatou mumbled, not taking her eyes off her phone.

“Shit, are you really that pissed?”

“No, Ilai, it’s okay bu I...really have to carry on studying so can you please just-“, Fatou asked and nodded towards the door.

“Oh, yeah, sure.”, Ilai answered, seeming relieved, and exited his sisters room.

As soon as she heard her door close, Fatou unlocked her phone. She decided to read Kieu Mys message first.

Kieu My: heyyy <3 are you free tomorrow ? Can i take you out to dinner? Well, not really take you out, i would cook for you in my flat. You interested ? ;)

Fatou: that sounds perfect. I am definitely interested <3

Dinner at Kieu Mys place definitely sounded fun. Fatou found herself already looking forward to it. But the pleasant anticipation was drowned by the nervousness regarding Isis messages.

Fatou took a shaky breath before tapping on the chat. 

isi.downtoearth: hey

isi.downtoearth: i hope this is your real account 

isi.downtoearth: or like your active one or whatever 

isi.downtoearth: i know this may sound completely weird right now and you will probably not believe me

isi.downtoearth: but I am really sorry for putting the drugs into your drink. I didn’t really think about what I was doing. 

isi.downtoearth: i know this is a lousy apology 

isi.downtoearth: but i still wanted to say sorry. i don't expect you to forgive me. But i just wanted to let you know I will never do stuff like that to you anymore. 

isi.downtoearth: i am tired of having a friend that tells me what i have to like or dislike. Or who tells me what is right or wrong.i know that that doesn’t count as an apology because even though it wasn’t my idea, i still participated in the whole thing. And i know that it takes more than these messages to make it right again but I really hope that one day you will allow me to tell you more about it.

isi.downtoearth: oh, and kieu my did NOT force me to write this btw, i promise 

Fatou reread Isis messages multiple times, trying to figure out what to do now. Eventually she typed and answer.

chibifatou: its good that you reached out to me and tried to apologize. But you are right, it doesn’t make up for what you did. I know that fucked up circumstances make people do fucked up things. So, yeah, I'm open to let you explain everything, but I think I need some time to get my life together first. I appreciate the intention though.  

She closed the app and let out a sigh, resting her head against the wall.

She knew that it wasn’t enough, not even close. But it was a beginning.

A beginning. 

Freitag 21:21

“I didn’t know you could cook that well.”, Fatou complimented the other girl, drying the pan off with a towel.

“Yeah, my mother may have helped me a little. She is a really good cook.”, Kieu My admitted.

After having had dinner, they were cleaning the pans together. Kieu My wanted to do it alone, since Fatou was her guest, but the younger girl had insisted on helping. So they agreed to split the tasks, which made them finish cleaning in record time.

Soft music was playing in the kitchen, some old music from Kieu Mys fathers CDs, warm light illuminated the room. 

The evening was filled with giggles, small kisses and light chatting. Right after arriving at Kieu Mys place, Fatou had showed her the messages from Isi. Kieu My was surprised as well, then told Fatou about Isi having a big fight with Constantin the previous day. 

Everything felt so light, so easy, and for a few minutes Fatou forgot the rough path that had led to their current relationship.

Kieu My was really trying. She had asked about how Fatous day was, took genuine interest in Fatous rambling about her favorite anime and made sure to put the smaller girls requests first.

And now she was swaying her hips to the quiet music while cleaning the last piece of tableware.

Fatou looked at her in awe, her heart bouncing at the unfamiliar sight of Kieu My dressed in comfortable clothes, with a dorky apron that had ‘kiss the cook’ written on it, her hair tied up in a loose bun and a pair of slippers on her feet.

“Are you trying to seduce me with that apron?”, Fatou joked as Kieu My handed her the clean plate.

Kieu My frowned and looked down her body. “Huh?”

“It says, kiss the cook.”, Fatou explained.

“Oh”, Kieu My blushed, “well it wasn’t really intentional, but maybe you should take it into consideration”

Fatou dried the plate and placed it on the counter before turning to Kieu My.

“Well, shouldn’t I kiss your mom then? Since you just said she did most of the work?”, the smaller girl teased.

Kieu Mys face fell as realization hit her and she playfully shoved Fatou.

“Don’t ever talk about kissing my mom again, ew!”, she exclaimed, making Fatou laugh.

“And, I really deserve this kiss. My mom only watched me and made sure I didn’t mess up the recipe. But all of those vegetables ? I cut them. You don’t wanna know how long that took me.”

Fatou smiled. “Cutting vegetables took you long?”

“Leave me alone, I suck at cooking. I just wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

“Awww”, Fatou cooed and took a step closer to Kieu My, fixing her hair and letting her palm linger on her cheek, thumb caressing it softly, “you did an amazing job at cutting the vegetables.”

Kieu My blushed a little and held Fatous gaze.

“And I agree, the cook definitely deserves a kiss.”, Fatou added and leaned in to connect their lips in a soft kiss. 

Kieu Mys arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, and Fatou sighed into the kiss. Just as Fatou went in for another kiss, Kieu My pulled away.

Fatou scoffed in fake annoyance. “Wow, now you don’t want my kisses anymore?”, she joked.

“No, no, I do”, Kieu My assured and quickly pecked Fatous lips before continuing, “but I got you something.”

Fatou furrowed her brows. “You did?”

“Yeah. Its nothing big, don’t expect anything extraordinary...it’s just...well, you’ll see.”

Kieu My stepped out of Fatous embrace and walked around the corner. Fatou head some paper ruffling and frowned. She had no idea what Kieu My had gotten her.

“This is so sappy”, she heard Kieu My sigh, before the girl appeared again, a big bouquet of roses in her hands. Fatou couldn’t help but laugh.

“This is really, really sappy”, she agreed, “but I love it. Thank you”.

Kieu My handed her the flowers and scratched the back of her neck.

“Yeah, i know it’s super cliché, but it was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought of a first date.”

Fatou beamed. “Our first date, huh?”

Kieu My smiled shyly. “Yeah. The first real one at least. And I wanna start doing things right. So I thought I’d start with a super sappy cliche first date”.

Fatou gently placed the flowers on the counter and wrapped her arms around Kieu Mys neck.

“Thank you. Thats really sweet of you.”

She gave the other girl a kiss and pulled back to add: “Don’t worry, it’s not that sappy. At least we are not having a super romantic star gazing on a rooftop or something...so you still have room for improvement...for the next date”

Kieu My furrowed her brows and shot Fatou an apologetic smile.

“Yeah about the stargazing thing...”

“No way.”

Kieu My nodded while chuckling. “The stairs in my house floor lead up to our rooftop. I put blankets and everything there”

Fatou joined her laughter. “Damn, then this really is the sappiest date ever, huh?”

Kieu My shrugged. “Is that okay?”

Fatou leaned forward so their foreheads were touching.

“It’s perfect.”

“I promise I will find something even sappier for the second date”, Kieu My joked.

Fatou laughed, she laughed and her heart was full of love. And in that moment she realized that even though she needed time to leave everything that happened behind and even though their journey may not be easy, they will be able to make it. Together. No matter what. 

In every universe.