Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Seungmin paces the space rapidly, struggling to control his breathing. He feels the eyes of the smug bastard watching him intently from his seat, but he blatantly ignores it. He’s so pissed off, and that stupid little shit is just sitting there. 

He eyes the door to the principal’s office, where the administrators are watching the cameras for any sign of evidence of the crime that’s been committed. Losing his patience, he turns back to the student sitting in the chair, fixing on him with a hard glare. 

“What is so funny to you?” Seungmin snaps.

Seo Changbin, clad in his stupid tacky black jacket and black boots, and black jeans only smiles back at him.  His dark hair falls in bangs over his eyes, which he thinks makes him look cool, but it only makes him look stupid. Can he even see behind them? 

“You’re going to get suspended,” Seungmin hisses.

Changbin leans back in his chair casually before finally responding, “How can I get suspended for something I didn’t do?”

“We know you did it.” Seungmin crosses his arms stubbornly, turning his gaze back to the door.

“And how’s that?” Changbin tips his head, that shit-eating grin growing wider. “You have no evidence I did that.”

“You’re the only person on this campus stupid enough to put a giant dick on the school mural of our principal,” Seungmin deadpans.

Changbin snorts and leans forward, resting his elbow on his knee and his sharp chin on the palm of his hand. “I don’t understand what you’re so mad about. It’s not like it’s a mural of your face.”

“The art students and student council worked hard on that mural,” Seungmin tries to restrain himself from yelling. 

He doesn’t like the principal anymore than the average student. Frankly, he is...a dick. No pun intended. But Seungmin and others still put effort and work into that mural, and it pisses him off to see it thrown away for a senior prank.

“It was ugly anyways. Whoever did it improved it,” Changbin shrugs. 

“When the admins walk out of that door with the footage of you vandalizing school property, you’re done for. And to think, you almost made it all four years through high school but wasted it all to draw a giant penis.”

Changbin opens his mouth to respond, but is interrupted by the door opening. The principal walks out, seething with rage, along with a few other admins. Seungmin pauses his pacing and turns, watching them expectantly. 

Changbin stands and smiles at the principal, “I’m free to go?”

The principal stares at him for a long moment, his jaw clenched, before nodding. Seungmin’s jaw drops and Changbin sends him one last stupid grin before skipping out the door.

Seungmin turns back wildly to the principal. “You didn’t find anything?”

“The person was wearing a mask,” the principal sighs. “We have no evidence that Mr. Seo had anything to do with it, so we have no choice but to let him go.”

Seungmin scoffs. “But we all know he did it.”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. You should get back now, we’ll worry about cleanup on monday.”

With that, the admins disperse, going back into their respective offices. Seungmin growls to himself. Now he has to deal with a pissed off principal and oversee that the mural’s redone. All because that rebellious shithead thinks he’s cool and edgy for drawing a fucking dick like a fucking twelve year old on the school mural. 

Seungmin is sick and tired of immature students like Changbin ruining everything . Every week it seems to be something new. A food fight in the cafeteria. Graffiti on the bathroom stalls. Once, someone once filled every member of the student council’s lockers with a glitter cannon. Seungmin was shaking glitter out of his hair for weeks after.

Nine times out of ten, they never catch the culprit of these stupid pranks. And nine times out of ten, the student council has to organize to clean up the mess. It’s so fucking tiring. Seungmin didn’t join the student council to babysit toddlers. Which is exactly what it feels like having to clean up the students’ messes. 

One particular student everyone is suspicious of helping out with these pranks, is Seo Changbin. He dresses like a fucking hot topic employee, sleeps through class, throws parties with alcohol, and everyone fucking knows he’s a pothead. Him and his loser pothead friends. 

He’s never actually been caught of anything, but his smug fucking attitude everytime he gets away with it just makes Seungmin know he’s guilty. He’s just the textbook definition of an “edgy” teenager that wants to do everything to impress his fellow peers, and Seungmin absolutely hates him for it. 

When he makes it back to the classroom with the rest of the student council, he’s greeted with the council's expectant faces. They take one look at Seungmin’s expression however, and all look down with a sigh. Felix, who doesn’t technically belong here but is riding home with Seungmin, walks up to him and pats his back.

“You’ll get him next time,” Felix offers him kindly.

Seungmin grumbles, “We never get him.”

“Ah, it’s okay. Are we still on for tonight, or do you have to stay after school?” 

“We’re on,” Seungmin confirms, grabbing his backpack from his chair. 

“Nice,” Felix beams and together they head to the parking lot. 

Seungmin’s mom picks them up and drives them home, asking about their day which Seungmin responds with a plastered smile. Once they get home, they head upstairs to Seungmin’s room, where Seungmin gets started on his homework for the weekend.

Felix, ever so the bad influence of a best friend he is, sprawls on his bed like he owns it and grins up at Seungmin. “Guess what happened today?”

Seungmin looks up amusingly from his math homework, “What?”

Felix rolls over, “Jisung invited me to a party with him tomorrow night.”

“Oh, really? That’s awesome.”

“Can you please come with me?” Felix pouts. “I don’t want to be alone with him. You know how awkward I get.”

It’s true. It’s outright sad seeing Felix interact with any of his crushes. Still, Seungmin is quick to shake his head.

“Felix…You know I’m not one for parties…” he begins.

Felix whines, “You go to parties with your fucking nerd friends!”

“Yeah, because I trust my ‘ nerd friends’ and know they won’t do all that stupid shit that happens at other parties.” Seungmin rolls his eyes.

“Please!” Felix pouts, rolling into Seungmin’s lap on the bed.

“Puppy eyes don’t work on me.”

Felix juts out his lower lip even further, his eyes widening. Fuck. The puppy eyes totally do work on him.

“You need to get out more, you know. You hardly leave the house except for dance and student council. You always lock yourself in here all anti-social and shit. Tell you what, if you come with me you can be around to make sure I don’t do stupid shit,” Felix prompts. 

Seungmin narrows his eyes. “Are you implying that you do stupid shit when I don’t go to parties with you?”

Felix hesitates for a long moment. “...No?”

“You’re a god awful liar, you know that?” Seungmin sighs but relents, running a hand through Felix’s soft hair. “Fine. Just to make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself in front of Jisung and don’t do stupid shit.”

Felix squeals and grins happily, “See? You can’t resist me. I know you have a soft spot for me.” 

Seungmin doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t try to hide his small smile either. Of course he loves his best friend, which is why he’s going to whatever stupid party he’s been invited to. He already regrets agreeing to tag along, knowing he’s going to feel entirely left out. Unfortunately, there's nothing he can do but accept his fate.

What on Earth is he going to wear?

-

“Do I look sexy? Tell me I look sexy.”

Seungmin pauses and sighs, barely stealing a glance at Felix beside him. “You look so incredibly sexy I would one hundred percent date you, you sexy bitch,” he says in a monotone voice.

Felix smacks his shoulder, which Seungmin instinctively smooths out. Felix specifically told him to wear something casual, not his usual dolled up looks like the shit he wears to student council meetings. 

You can’t wear that nerdy shit to a party, Felix had scolded him earlier that afternoon. If you wear that nerdy shit I’m going to pretend like I don’t know you.

Ultimately, he ended up with a pair of black jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a baby blue hoodie. Felix rejected the hoodie until Seungmin whined about getting cold in the early February evening. Felix shook his head and said Seungmin still looked a bit too “soft” but at least not like a “fucking nerd” as he so kindly put it. 

They walked together to the house where the party was, which was only a few streets down from Seungmin’s place. Now, they stand at the front of the house, Felix’s finger hesitating at the door bell.

“Well?” Seungmin smirks. “Aren’t you gonna ring it?”

“Shut up,” Felix mutters before pressing it.

A boy Seungmin can’t quite place the name of opens the door less than a minute later, smiling widely when he lays his eyes on Felix.

“Oh hey!” He pauses and blinks a little in confusion upon seeing Seungmin beside him, then his smile is back on. “Seungmin isn’t it? You’re from the student council?”

Seungmin shifts uncomfortably. He’d rather not be known at the party as the fucking nerd from student council. He doesn’t want people to think he’s that snitch, because he totally isn’t.

“Yep,” Felix answers for him. “I wanted him to tag along, is that alright?”

“That’s cool. Come inside, it’s freezing out here,” the boy laughs and opens the door wider, ushering them in. 

Seungmin shoves his hands in his pockets, ducking his head as Felix weaves them both through the already forming crowd of people in the entrance in the living room. Loud rap music he doesn’t recognize plays from a speaker somewhere, and Felix is quick to get him away, knowing Seungmin isn’t a fan of loud music. They reside at the edge of the living room that connects to the kitchen.

“There’s some soda and water in the kitchen if you need any,” the boy says to Seungmin. He glances at Felix nervously, “There’s other drinks in there if you want any.”

“Don’t worry about him, Chan, he won’t tell,” Felix shakes his head. 

The boy, Chan, stares again at Seungmin. He really thinks Seungmin is going to snitch, huh? Please. Seungmin is well aware of the students who throw parties with the presence of alcohol and underage students. He couldn’t care less what the idiots do to ruin their lives with alcoholism. As long as it doesn’t involve him, he’s fine. Plus, most of the students, including Felix and him, are of age to drink. He can’t possibly know if all the students here are legal yet. Which means nothing illegal is happening, at least not in front of Seungmin. 

“Okay well…I wouldn’t suggest touching the brownies…” Chan trails off.

Seungmin spoke too soon it seems.

He snorts nonetheless and Felix’s eyes light up. Immediately, Seungmin shoots Felix a glare.

“No,” he says stubbornly.

“Why?” Felix whines.

“Drugs are bad for you.” 

“It’s not drugs! It’s a plant!” Felix argues. “All nat-ur-al!”

“So? Poison ivy is an all natural plant, doesn’t mean you should consume it,” Seungmin crosses his arms.

Felix opens his mouth to argue, then looks at Chan, who shrugs amusingly. 

“He has a point,” Chan nods toward Seungmin. 

Felix huffs. “Fine. Any idea where Jisung is?” 

“Probably in the kitchen on his second brownie,” Chan replies with a chuckle. “He thinks he can handle it, but just wait until that shit kicks in later.” 

He laughs again and walks off, socializing with other people. After his brownie comment, Seungmin’s more than glad he came along now to stop Felix from doing something stupid to impress Jisung. 

Speak of the devil, Jisung appears from the kitchen, half eaten brownie in hand. He lights up at the sight of Felix and hurries over.

“Hi,” Jisung greets them with a grin, offering a nod to Seungmin.

Right behind him is a person that makes Seungmin immediately stiffen, his greeting smile toward Jisung immediately turning into a scowl. Dressed in all black as per usual like the stupid eboy he is. He doesn’t have a brownie in hand, but he does have a cup of something that most likely isn’t water. As soon as his eyes fall on Seungmin, that same smug ass smirk spreads itself across his face.

“Oh hey,” Changbin says in a smooth voice. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“The fuck are you doing here?” Seungmin narrows his eyes in response. 

Changbin blinks a little at that, before going back to his cool self. “Chan is my best friend, of course I’m going to his party.” He raises his cup at Seungmin and sips it. “I think I should be asking you that question. You here to call the cops?”

Seungmin sniffs and glances over at Felix, who is far too busy saying something to Jisung to notice his predicament.

“I’m not a snitch,” he replies sharply. “I’m just here with Felix.”

“Interesting.” Changbin leans against the wall beside him. 

Seungmin turns to Felix just as his friend turns to him. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go with Jisung. You seem well acquainted with Changbin so I’m just gonna-” Felix excitedly points behind him.

Before Seungmin can even think to respond, Felix is dragged off by Jisung down a hallway to god knows where. Of fucking course. He should’ve known Felix would ditch him as soon as he had the chance to be alone with Jisung. He just didn’t expect to be left alone with-

“Ah. So your only friend left you,” Changbin says very helpfully from behind his cup. 

Seungmin shoots a glare at him. “And where are all of your friends?”

Changbin shrugs. “Dunno. Probably getting shitfaced somewhere.”

“Like you?” Seungmin eyes his cup pointedly.

Changbin raises an eyebrow and tips the cup for Seungmin to see. “Yeah I’m getting totally shitfaced from this Dr. Pepper.”

“Like I believe that’s Dr. Pepper.”

Changbin laughs. “Try it then.”

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you never to accept a drink from a stranger?” Seungmin leans away.

“That’s fair. I’d hardly consider you a stranger, though. I see you pretty often,” Changbin grins dopily. 

“You don’t know a thing about me,” Seungmin turns his head away to the crowd in front of them. 

“I know you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘fun’,” Changbin mutters.

Seungmin side eyes him. “Yes I know what fun is. Just because I don’t draw dicks on shit like a twelve year old doesn’t mean I don’t have fun.”

“Ah, so you’re still mad about that, huh?”

“Of fucking course I’m still mad,” Seungmin snaps. “I have to oversee to make sure every time you do your edgy rebellious teenage shit, it gets cleaned up.”

That stupid fucking smile is back. “You still think I’m the one that did it?”

“Who else?” Seungmin raises his arms in exasperation. “The fucking lunch lady?”

“Ah, come on. Most of those pranks are lame anyways. Just a bunch of freshmen fucking around. Is it really that serious?”

Seungmin’s eyes widen in shock, “It is when I’m the one who ends up having to clean up your mess every timeb Are you really that fucking proud of drawing a giant dick on our principal’s face?”

Changbin practically cackles at that. “Oh come on, you gotta admit it’s funny. I wish I were the one that did it. Lock me away for eternity please, it would be worth it. He’s a total jackass.”

Seungmin doesn’t try to argue the last bit, he knows it’s true. But he still wouldn’t vandalize the school and make other people work for his actions.

“You know what I think you need?” Changbin tips his head and leans closer.

“Before you offer me drugs, I’m going to say it here and now; absolutely not.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “Oh, so I’m a drug dealer now? You read my fucking mind. No. I was going to say you need to just relax.”

“Oh sure, just relax,” Seungmin laughs. “Just fucking vibe with my dudes.”

“Yeah. That’s what a party is for. You look awfully stressed for someone who’s at a party.”

“Well what can I say?” Seungmin runs a hand through his hair. “It’s the end of our final year of high school and shit is just getting harder and harder. I have two tests on Monday and instead of studying, here I am at this stupid party talking to your dumb ass because my friend left me. Excuse me for being a bit stressed as of lately.”

“Well, shit then. Have a drink. Your friend may have left but I’m here to keep you company,” Changbin winks.

“You’re half the fucking cause of my stress,” Seungmin mutters.

“Oh?” Changbin smirks. “Am I on your mind that often?”

Seungmin’s blood is beginning to simmer. “Shut up.” He glowers.

Changbin hums, his smile widening. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

Seungmin steps toward him, grabbing ahold of Changbin’s stupid black shirt. Changbin stares at him with slightly wide eyes, but doesn’t seem at all worried. If anything, he looks even more amused at Seungmin’s sudden outburst.

Seungmin presses him into the wall, crowding into his space threateningly. “You think this is cute? You think this is funny?” he hisses in his face.

Changbin giggles, he fucking giggles at that. “It’s hilarious to see you try to be intimidating when you’re angry.”

“You are such a smug piece of shit,” Seungmin seethes. Changbin just laughs haughtily, his breath fanning against Seungmin’s face. “God, I’m so fucking tired of having to deal with your bullshit.”

That stupid smile never leaves, and it drives Seungmin mad. The lazy curve of Changbin’s lips forming that familiar plump little ‘v’ shape. His dark eyes sparkle with unrestrained amusement and barely contained laughter, curling into little crescents. He’s so fucking handsome, it’s infuriating. 

“Cursing? That’s new. So cute,” Changbin tips his head, tone and grin as teasing as ever. 

Seungmin eyes his mouth-that stupid smile. He knows he riles Seungmin up more than anything. Seungmin just wants to wipe that smile right off his perfect face. What would it take to do such a thing? What would it take to break down that smug confidence, that superior attitude he seems to carry with him everywhere?

Seungmin unconsciously bites his lower lip as he stares at Changbin. Such a waste of a pretty mouth, to always use it to be annoying. How would it feel against Seungmin’s? Maybe he would finally shut up if he put those lips to good use. 

Seungmin leans forward, lips sliding lightly up Changbin’s cheek. His fist curls deeper into Changbin’s shirt, pulling him impossibly close. He feels the muscles in Changbin’s cheeks go slack, his smile gone. 

“I know how to make you shut up,” Seungmin breathes.

Changbin shudders and turns his head to the side, his lips just barely brushing against Seungmin’s mouth. With the sample of what his lips would feel like, the urge to kiss him properly washing over Seungmin.

Without thinking, Seungmin closes the gap between them, pressing his lips firmly against Changbin’s. Changbin doesn’t respond for a long moment, and Seungmin moves to pull away, thinking he’s made a mistake. A hand rests itself on his nape and pulls him in again, slotting their lips together perfectly. Seungmin’s eyes flutter shut, Changbin’s soft mouth moving carefully against his own.

It’s careful, slow, cautious, both of them testing the waters. Seungmin’s hand flattens against Changbin’s shirt, fingertips trailing down his chest. Oh, he’s fit under there. Of course he is. 

Driven by an indescribable need, Seungmin pushes Changbin further into the wall, pressing his body fully up against him. He needs to be closer. He needs to feel every centimeter of Changbin’s body against his own. 

The kiss turns more desperate, desire burning across Seungmin’s skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He leads the kiss bruisingly, hands traveling down Changbin’s torso. He relishes in the way Changbin shivers when he teases at the hem of his shirt, just barely slipping his fingers under it. Seungmin sinks his teeth into Changbin’s lower lip, swallowing the low whine that escapes his throat. He’s so responsive. Seungmin wants to hear more. How much would it take to make Changbin really fall apart?

Caught in the heat of the moment, his arm knocks into Changbin’s drink, Dr. Pepper splashing across his skin and effectively knocking him out of his trance. 

“Ah, shit,” Changbin pulls away breathlessly, holding up his drink. 

Seungmin pulls back and glances around, suddenly realizing they’re still surrounded by multiple people at a party. He looks back at Changbin who blinks back at him confusingly. Seungmin has no idea what demon possesses him, what voice whispers in his mind to keep going. Without a word, Seungmin takes Changbin’s drink and sets it on a table nearby. 

Seungmin corners him again, leaning into Changbin’s ear to whisper lowly, “Can we get away from…everyone else?” 

Changbin catches onto him and nods erratically, throat bobbing as he swallows thickly. Seungmin yanks him down an empty hallway, stopping in front of a door. He pulls Changbin into the room and shuts the door, immediately pushing the elder up against it.

Changbin gasps at the impact of his back hitting the door, staring up at Seungmin with wide eyes. Seungmin takes ahold of his hips and connects their lips again desperately. Changbin’s arm curls around his waist, and his other hand flies to the back of his neck, sliding slowly up into Seungmin’s hair. Seungmin’s hands knead the fabric of his shirt roughly, eventually slipping his fingers underneath to press against Changbin’s heated skin.

Addictive is the best way to describe kissing Changbin. The soft feeling of Changbin’s plush lips sliding against his own and their bodies pressing together leaves goosebumps all across Seungmin’s skin. (He’d alway secretly wondered if Changbin’s lips were as soft and sweet as they looked.) He slides his tongue along the bottom of the elder’s lip, asking for entrance. Changbin opens his mouth, shuddering and moaning around Seungmin’s tongue as it slips in. 

Warmth pools in the pit of Seungmin’s gut at the sound, and the arm kinked around Seungmin’s waist pulls him impossibly closer. His hands traverse further up Changbin’s shirt, smiling into the kiss when Changbin squirms against him. He’s so sensitive, he never expected Changbin to be this responsive. It’s a wonderful little surprise, seeing how easily Changbin breaks down in front of him. 

Air is a thing that is needed for humans to live, and after a long minute Seungmin pulls away to gasp. Changbin is just as breathless as he is as they pull away from each other, cheeks flushed red and lips bitten and swollen. Seungmin presses a kiss to the corner of Changbin’s lips, trailing fluttering kisses across his jawline and down his neck. He sucks gently at the elder’s pulse point, Changbin’s heartbeat thumping quietly under the skin. Changbin whines lowly and Seungmin feels something hard press into the inside of his upper thigh. 

Oh. That’s new.

Changbin wiggles away from him, breathing out an apology. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I-”

“What are you apologizing for?” Seungmin murmurs, pressing his thigh further into Changbin, a surge of courage coursing through him.

Changbin gasps at the pressure. “Seungmin I-” He whimpers quietly as Seungmin kneads his thigh slowly against his crotch, head knocking back against the door. “Fuck. Shit. Seungmin...Can you...?”

Changbin goes quiet, save for his heavy breathing as Seungmin works him through his pants. Seungmin tips his head, pressing a light kiss against Changbin’s collarbones.

“Can I what?”

“I…I know this sounds stupid but am I reading this right?” Changbin breathes out. 

Seungmin rubs his thigh harder against Changbin, smiling to himself at the whimper the elder lets out at the added friction. 

“How are you reading it?” Seungmin asks, rubbing small circles into Changbin’s bare skin with his thumbs.

He knows exactly how Changbin is reading it. He knows exactly what Changbin wants. But fuck he wants Changbin to say it. A darker part of him wants to make Changbin beg for it.

“I…Please tell me what your intentions are, because you’re the last person on Earth I’d ever expect to do this with and I don’t want to cross any lines by asking you to…” Changbin shudders violently and turns his face away.

Seungmin pulls back until he’s face to face with a breathless Changbin. “Asking me to what?” Upon no response he slides his fingers under Changbin’s chin, prompting him to meet his eyes. “Tell me what you want, and maybe I can give it to you.”

Changbin releases a shaky breath, “...Touch me.”

Even though it was the answer Seungmin had been expecting, that doesn’t stop the way his heart leaps to his throat. His hands shakily trail downward toward the hem of Changbin’s jeans. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this, not with Changbin of all people, but he can’t help it. He really wants to know what Changbin would look like if Seungmin were to give him what he wants. He’s already this riled up just from rutting pathetically against Seungmin’s thigh. 

He already looks so pretty, blinking up at Seungmin with eyes so dilated, Seungmin can hardly see the iris. What kinds of sounds will he make when Seungmin really gets his hands on him? 

Seungmin toys with the hem of the Changbin’s jeans, dipping his thumb lightly into the material. His other hand takes a hold of the button.

“Are you sure?” Seungmin asks quietly, searching Changbin’s face for any sign of hesitation.

Changbin nods frantically. “Please.”

Seungmin suppresses a shudder at the pure desperation in Changbin’s voice and undoes his jeans. As soon as they’re unzipped, he leans off the wall, prying Changbin from the door and further in the room. He pulls Changbin onto the bed, spinning them around and pressing him into the mattress. Seungmin straddles his lap and connects their lips again, reaching his hands down and grabbing Changbin’s shirt. 

He pulls away and tugs on the shirt gently, “Can I take this off?”

Changbin nods, letting Seungmin pull it up and over his head. Seungmin tosses the shirt to the side, pausing when he lays his eyes on Changbin’s bare chest. He could feel before that the elder was fit under his clothing, but actually getting to see it for himself is a whole different story. Seungmin runs his hands up Changbin’s toned stomach, mesmerized by the way his muscles flex and move under his fingertips. 

Seungmin attaches his lips to Changbin’s neck again, sucking a light bruise onto the elder’s warm skin. Changbin whines quietly under him and Seungmin trails kisses down onto his chest. Seungmin hooks his thumbs onto Changbin’s jeans and pulls them down, pressing feather light kisses against his abdomen. Changbin squirms, his tanned skin tensing under Seungmin’s mouth. 

He pulls Changbin’s boxers down in one swift motion, leaning back and letting him kick them off. He runs his hands up Changbin’s thighs, squeezing them lightly and taking note of how they tremble. He takes in the sight of Changbin fully unclothed under him, eyes raking across his body. He leans back down and mouths at the elder’s thighs, hand wrapping around his cock. Changbin gasps at the sudden contact, hands curling into the comforter. Seungmin pumps him slowly, rubbing his thumb over his slit. 

He nips and sucks at the soft skin of the elder’s thighs, moving up and up until he’s face to face Changbin’s head. He breathes hotly against it, just barely ghosting his lips over the skin, watching darkly as Changbin whines under him. 

“Please. Fuck, Seungmin. Don’t tease me. Please…” Changbin whimpers.

Seungmin feels high off the power he has over Changbin at the moment. He’s torn down his smug facade and has Changbin in the palm of his hand-literally. He’s never seen Changbin like this, desperate and whiny and needy for Seungmin. He loves it. For the first time, Changbin isn’t the one in control, toying with Seungmin’s emotions. 

Seungmin can’t wait to see him really fall apart.

He licks a fat stripe up Changbin’s shaft, gut curling at the obscene sound the elder makes in response. He wraps his lips around the head, tongue swirling around it. Changbin’s hand slides into his hair, clutching it gently but firmly. Seungmin continues teasing his head, simply giving it little kitten licks but never fully taking him in. 

“Fuck. Of course you’re a fucking tease. Come on Seungmin please.”

Seungmin laughs breathily, blinking innocently up at him. He maintains eye contact as he finally slides his mouth down Changbin’s dick. Changbin moans obscenely and watches with lidded eyes as Seungmin slowly takes him in his mouth. 

There’s something awfully addicting about the way Changbin stares down at him like he’s the only thing in the world. The pure lust and need in his eyes spurs Seungmin onward, taking him in as much as he can-which he finds isn’t that much given his lack of experience. He uses his hand to work the parts he can’t reach, and starts bobbing his head at a torturously slow pace. His free hand rubs soothing circles into Changbin’s hip.

He hollows his cheeks and runs his tongue along the underside of Changbin’s shaft as he moves. Changbin moans lewdly, back arching off the bed and hand tightening on Seungmin’s hair. Seungmin can’t help but moan around Changbin at the dull pain from the tugging of his scalp.

“Oh my god. Seungmin.” Changbin’s grip loosens, settling for combing his fingers gently through Seungmin’s hair instead. “Fuck. You’re so good.”

Seungmin slides up and down his cock slowly but deeply, chasing the beautiful sounds Changbin makes as he does. There’s something so absolutely hot about how pathetic Changbin looks and sounds at the moment. Seungmin closes his eyes and bobs his head quicker, switching from the slow and deep movements to shallow and quick ones. 

Changbin whimpers at the switch in tactics. He takes ahold of Seungmin’s hand on his hip, lacing their fingers together and squeezing it lightly. 

“Seungmin, I’m not gonna last long like this,” he gasps.

Seungmin couldn’t care less how long he lasts. He could drag this out all night just to drive Changbin crazy, but at the same time, he wants to see just how quickly he could make Changbin cum for him. Seungmin just wants to make him feel good, to watch Changbin come undone from pure pleasure. He’s never felt so driven by someone before, but Changbin is easily one of the most attractive people he’s ever laid eyes on. And now Seungmin has him right where he wants him. He’s letting Seungmin do this, and Seungmin fully intends on ruining him.

He listens intently as Changbin’s moans become increasingly louder and more high pitched. It’s messy and there’s spit dripping down Seungmin’s chin, but he couldn’t care less. He knows Changbin is getting closer, and twists his hand quicker to help bring him to the edge. Changbin trembles violently under him, squeezing Seungmin’s hand in his own like a lifeline. 

“Seungmin,” his voice comes out as little more than a breath. “Careful, I’m gonna cum.”

Seungmin slides off him carefully, pumping him with firm, rapid motions. Changbin stares down at him with desperate eyes, mouth open in a silent plea. Seungmin teases the head again, teasing his tongue along it and lapping up the pre-cum leaking out. 

Changbin lets out his loudest moan yet, hand clutching Seungmin’s hair near painfully. Seungmin continues giving him the tiniest kitten licks as cum leaks down the side, watching in awe as Changbin trembles uncontrollably under him. 

“Seungmin, Seungmin,” Changbin chants his name repeatedly. “Oh my fuck.”

Seungmin mentally saves the way the elder says his name into a file deep in the back of his mind. He licks up the last of the sticky liquid, wrinkling his nose in distaste of the slightly salty flavor. He feels the hand slide out of his hair and down to his chin, fingers gently coaxing him forward. He meets Changbin’s eyes and finds him staring hungrily at his lips. Seungmin knows immediately what he’s asking for.

“I’m gonna taste like you,” he warns, crawling up Changbin’s body to meet him nonetheless.

Changbin mumbles, “Don’t care,” and attacks Seungmin’s lips again.

Despite being clearly spent after having just came, Changbin is eager. His hands roam over Seungmin’s clothed back, tugging at the fabric and pulling Seungmin closer. Seungmin suddenly feels like he’s suffocating in his sweatshirt, and his jeans feel a lot smaller than they were half an hour ago. 

Changbin asks breathlessly in between little pecks, “Can I...take off...your shirt?”

Seungmin hesitates for a brief second, before nodding. Changbin sits up and tugs his sweatshirt up and over Seungmin’s head. He looks slightly disappointed upon finding Seungmin’s white shirt underneath. Seungmin places his hands on Changbin’s, coaxing him on. Changbin finally takes the shirt off, eyes raking across Seungmin’s torso once it’s off.

Feeling shy, Seungmin tackles his lips again to draw his attention away. Changbin’s warm hands roam up and down his back, thumbs drawing patterns into his skin. Seungmin shudders at the feeling of Changbin trying to familiarize himself with Seungmin’s body. Exploring every inch of open skin and pulling Seungmin closer to him like his life depends on it. Ever so desperate.

His hands suddenly dip further and further down Seungmin’s back, fingers hooking under the hem of Seungmin’s jeans. Seungmin freezes in shock at that, pulling slightly away from the kiss. Changbin takes his hands off just as quickly.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked-”

“I was just surprised,” Seungmin murmurs. 

“...Are you fine with it?” Seungmin hesitates for another second. “It’s okay if you’re not. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I-”

At that exact moment, Seungmin’s phone starts buzzing in his back pocket, cutting him off. Seungmin frowns and sits up, pulling his phone out of his jeans. His confusion only grows when he reads the name Lixie flashing on his phone back at him.

He picks up the phone, “Felix? Why are you calling?”

“I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you. I couldn’t really make it up the stairs. I gave up. My legs are so tired. I think my muscles just kind of gave up, you know? Do you think muscles have feelings, Minnie? Maybe they’re really hurt because I use them all the time and never ask how they’re doing. Should I apologize?”

Seungmin blinks slowly, registering the slur in his friend’s voice.

“Felix, sweetheart, how many brownies did you eat?”

“Pfft, what? None! Anyways, I really really miss you Minnie. Can you come down here? I need hugs. You give great hugs. You never admit it but I think you might give some of the best hugs. Besides Chan, he gives amazing hugs.”

Changbin shrugs in front of him, “It’s true, he does.”

“Where are you?” Seungmin asks, choosing to ignore Changbin’s suddenly loud presence.

“In the basement with Jisungie,” Felix giggles. “He’s so precious you know. I feel bad for leaving you alone but Jisung is just so…” Felix sighs dreamily. “He’s so nice, and his lips look really soft. I wanna kiss him.”

Changbin raises an amused eyebrow at Seungmin who glares at him in return. He knows Changbin is a close friend of Jisung’s, and if he says shit to Jisung about Felix’s crush, he’ll break his ankles.

“I’m coming to get you, okay? Stay where you are.” Seungmin adds quickly, “And don’t do anything stupid.” 

He hangs up and then pauses. Now that his brain is back to normal, the reality of the situation before Felix had interrupted suddenly hits him. Changbin is still completely naked in front of him, suddenly looking quite awkward in his position. They stare at each other for a long moment, the air around them tense.

Changbin is the one to finally break the silence, “You should go get him.”

Seungmin nods wordlessly, picking up his shirt from the bed and quickly putting it on. Changbin follows suit in hurriedly putting his clothes back on. Seungmin looks around for a second and frowns when he realizes his sweatshirt isn’t anywhere around them.

“Where’d my sweatshirt go?” 

Changbin checks the sides of the bed. “...I don’t see it.”

“Fuck,” Seungmin sighs. “I’m going to be freezing on my way home.”

He stands up from the bed nonetheless, more worried about getting Felix home safe than his lost jacket. He hesitates at the door, turning back to Changbin, stomach swooping low and mouth running dry.

“You won’t tell anyone about this, right?”

Changbin smiles reassuringly. “I don’t kiss and tell, sweetheart.”

Seungmin leaves it at that, cheeks burning red as he leaves the room. Nobody is in the hallway, which is a blessing. He still can hardly believe he just did that, and he really doesn’t want anyone else finding out about it. 

He quickly heads to the living room, looking around the sea of heads for any indication where the basement might be. After a bit of venturing, he finds an open door with stairs leading downward and runs down two steps at a time. When he reaches the basement, he finds a large open area with a pool table, a TV, and a couple of bean bag chairs and a couch. There’s not as many people down here, so Seungmin spots Felix rather easily. 

He’s sharing a beanbag chair with Jisung, or rather, sitting on top of Jisung while the latter sits in the bean bag chair. That in itself doesn’t alarm Seungmin, Felix is a naturally affectionate person. What does alarm him is the hazy look in Felix’s eyes, and as Seungmin draws closer, he notices they’re bloodshot. 

Seungmin groans to himself. He had come to this party specifically so Felix wouldn’t do something stupid like this. He hurries over to the bean bag chair, his best friend immediately brightening and making grabby hands at him.

“Minnie!” Felix squeals excitedly. “Oh I missed you. I’m so sorry for abandoning you. I know you don’t like Changbinnie, but he’s a sweet guy!”

Seungmin quickly swerves the topic away from Changbin.

“Not important. Felix, we need to go home.” 

Seungmin takes ahold of Felix’s hand, but his best friend whines and pulls away, curling closer into a half-asleep Jisung. 

“Why?” Felix pouts. “I was having fun with Jisung. We haven’t even been here for an hour yet.”

“Felix, you’re high off your ass right now. You need to get home where it’s safe,” Seungmin sighs and tries tugging at his arm.

Felix only whines louder. “But it’s so cold outside, and Jisung is so warm.”

“I can drive you home,” a new but familiar voice offers.

Seungmin stiffens and turns to glare at Changbin and hiss, “You followed me down here?”

“I came to find Jisung, actually, but if you need a ride home I can give you one. Just so you don’t have to walk in the cold. Since your jacket is missing.” Changbin gestures to Seungmin’s t-shirt.

“Why would you do that?” Seungmin demands, immediately suspicious.

“Dude.” Changbin waves a hand at Felix. “He’s high as a kite. You’re not getting him up those stairs alone with your noodle arms.”

“My arms are fine, thank you,” Seungmin huffs and tries pulling Felix up again. “Come on Felix.”

“ Fine. I’ll go. Can you buy me some food, though? I’m really hungry.”

“We have food at home.” Changbin takes a step toward him, to which Seungmin immediately snaps, “I don’t need your help.”

“But Seungminnie it’s cold outside.” Felix picks at Seungmin’s shirt. “You’re going to get cold. I’m cold too. Let Changbin drive us home.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of never letting a stranger drive you anywhere?” 

“Changbin’s not a stranger. I hang out with him all the time with Sungie...Hey where’d your jacket go?” Felix continues prodding at his shirt.

“Magic trick,” Changbin responds with a smirk. 

Seungmin shoots the elder another glare. “If you think I’m letting you help me with your smart ass comments-”

“Think of it as a return in favor,” Changbin’s shit-eating grin only grows. “Since you so kindly helped me out earlier.”

“Minnie, you’re red.” Felix frowns and puts a hand against Seungmin’s forehead. “Are you sick?”

“I’m about to be.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “Okay. If you don’t want my help, then.” 

Changbin turns to go back upstairs, but Felix grabs his arm like the clingy koala he is.

“Please don’t listen to Seungmin, he’s just grumpy because he doesn’t like you.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow at that. Seungmin simply averts his eyes.

“Seungmin come on you know I can’t handle the cold. Just let him drop us off real quick,” Felix pleads. 

Seungmin glances from Felix, who can barely stand on his own, to Changbin, who is waiting patiently for his answer. He narrows his eyes at Changbin before deciding fuck it. There’s no way he’s walking a high Felix all the way home on his own in the cold without his jacket. 

Just this once he’ll let Changbin help him. 

“Okay,” he gives in. 

Changbin smiles and pulls Felix up in one easy motion. Jisung whines and cracks open one eye before turning over and somehow curling deeper into the beanbag chair like a hedgehog.

“He gets really tired when he’s high,” Changbin snorts. “When he wakes up he’ll eat like a bear out of hibernation.”

Felix giggles, “You have nice arms.” He pokes Changbin’s bicep.

“Apparently Felix is extra gay when he’s high,” Seungmin mutters.

Changbin doesn’t comment on Felix ogling him, instead nodding at Seungmin. “I’m gonna pick him up, get the door at the top of the stairs open.”

Seungmin heads up the stairs and watches as Changbin carries Felix up bridal style. Felix laughs the whole way up like an idiot, and Seungmin knows that when his best friend is sober he’s going to kill him. 

Changbin carries him out with surprising ease, having Seungmin open the front door of the house. They reach the car and place Felix carefully in the back seat. 

“Do you want to ride in the back with him or up in the front?” Changbin asks.

“With him,” Seungmin clips. 

Seungmin slides into the back beside Felix, letting his best friend cling to his arm and curl into his side. Seungmin reluctantly types his address into the maps on Changbin’s phone and soon enough they’re on their way home. The car ride would be silent if it weren’t for Felix rambling beside Seungmin.

“Changbin is really fit,” Felix says all too loudly without a hint of shame. “How do you do it?”

Changbin glances at him from the mirror amusingly. “Working out.”

Felix sighs dreamily. “That is so hot.”

Seungmin buries his face into his hands. “Oh my god.”

“Oh come on, Seungminnie. You don’t think Changbin has a nice body?”

“Yeah, Seungminnie ,” Changbin suddenly grins and meets Seungmin’s eyes in the mirror, voice and face all too smug. “What do you think?”

Seungmin scowls even as his face reddens. “I’m not answering that.”

Changbin just hums and turns his attention back to the road, but that stupid smirk remains on his face. Felix thankfully, moves on to rambling about other things.

“Do you ever think about the fact that,” Felix starts slowly. “There’s no such thing as cold, it’s just the absence of heat energy?”

Seungmin flicks his forehead. “You’re fucking gone dude.” 

They reach the house soon enough, and Seungmin has to drag his poor best friend out of the car. Changbin rolls down the window when Seungmin turns back to the car.

“Thank you,” Seungmin says with some level of difficulty.

Changbin smiles. It seems genuine, but Seungmin doesn’t trust a hair on that boy’s body.

“No problem.”

Seungmin hesitates, maintaining tense eye contact with the elder for a split second before hauling Felix into his house. 

His parents aren’t home yet since he wasn’t expected home for another hour and a half, which he is eternally thanking the universe for. He takes care of a loopy Felix for a while, giving him some water and letting him ramble about the meaning of life while he rides out the rest of his high.

Nothing he does throughout the night manages to keep his mind off Changbin. 

-

“Wait,” Jeongin laughs. “So how high were you?”

“Not high enough,” Felix sighs. Upon seeing the sharp look Seungmin gives him he does a quick one-eighty. “I mean, uh, don’t do drugs kids!”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. They’re sitting in the cafeteria, just beginning to pick through their food. Felix is explaining what it was like to be high, which is unfortunately peaking Jeongin’s interest. The junior’s eyes are light with curiosity, and Seungmin has to scold him multiple times for it. 

His eyes catch on a familiar looking baby blueme, and he glances to the side. His neck practically snaps when he realizes it’s his baby blue hoodie, and the wearer-

Changbin meets his stare, sending him a grin as he walks nonchalantly across the lunchroom. 

That son of a bitch.

“Who would’ve thought Changbin knows that colors other than black exist?” Jeongin jokes. “Hey, that looks like one of your hoodies, Min.”

Seungmin doesn’t respond, watching in barely disguised annoyance as Changbin walks around in his clothes. He looks so smug wearing Seungmin’s hoodie like a trophy.

Seungmin rises from his seat, mumbling something about the bathroom. He catches Changbin’s gaze from across the lunchroom, jerking his head to motion for Changbin to meet him. He waits in the hallway outside the lunchroom for a minute before Changbin is out with him. He pulls Changbin by the arm into a nearby empty classroom, shutting the door behind them.

Changbin leans against the wall casually. “So what’s up?”

“I’m going to punch you,” Seungmin seethes.

“That won’t look very good on your perfect record.”

Seungmin huffs, clenching his fists. “Give me my hoodie back.”

“Oh, this?” Changbin points to the hoodie, feigning innocence. 

“Yes that. Give it back.”

“Hmm…I don’t know...Maybe you should ask nicely.”

“Nicely?” Seungmin splutters. “You stole my hoodie!”

“Correction, Chan found it under his bed. I told him it was mine and took it back so I could give it to you. And no, I didn’t tell him what happened,” Changbin adds at the end.

Seungmin pauses at that. Changbin actually didn’t say anything?

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts.

“That doesn’t matter. My friends recognized the hoodie saying it looked like mine. Stop wearing it like a trophy before people realize it’s mine. That’s weird, and everyone knows you only wear black.”

“What?” Changbin frowns. “That’s not true. I personally love all colors.”

“I kind of don’t care,” Seungmin deadpans. “Take off the hoodie.”

“Trying to get me undressed again, are we?”

“Absolutely not.”

“That’s a shame. I thought you were really hot,” Changbin murmurs. “I didn’t think goody two shoes Seungmin had it in him.”

Seungmin clenches his jaw, trying to control the blush blooming across his cheeks. Changbin takes a small step toward him, and Seungmin swallows heavily.

Changbin reaches out toward him, his fingers catching on Seungmin’s shirt. He looks so soft and small in Seungmin’s hoodie, his fingers hardly able to peek out from the fabric. The hoodie is already big on Seungmin, Changbin is practically swimming in it. Why does the realization make Seungmin’s stomach do somersaults?

“You know,” Changbin murmurs, eyes focused on his fingers twisted in Seungmin’s shirt. “I never got to return the favor.”

“Favor?” Seungmin asks, throat dry.

Another hand circles his waist, and Seungmin stops breathing when Changbin gently pulls him in.

“Is this okay?” Changbin asks quietly.

Seungmin can’t answer, eyes wide and brain short circuiting. Changbin seems to take his silence as a bad thing, and lets go of him immediately. Without thinking, Seungmin takes his wrists, pulling his hands back to their original place on his waist.

Seungmin finally answers, voice faint but steady, “Yes.”

Changbin’s eyes rise up to meet Seungmin, his hand squeezing Seungmin’s side.

“I felt bad leaving you without getting you off too...Can I return the favor now?”

Seungmin inwardly shudders at the words.

“Y-You want to get me off? Now?”

“If you’re comfortable with it,” Changbin responds. His hand lifts up to cup Seungmin’s cheek. “I think it’s only fair after you made me feel so good.”

“I…” Seungmin trails off.

“Seungmin, you can say no if you want to. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” 

Seungmin is quiet, debating his options in his head. The hands settled on his waist burn into his skin, sending a warm feeling all the way down to his toes.

He wants to be touched so badly. He wants to feel those hands exploring every inch of his body. He’s never been touched like that before, but he craves it. His skin screams in anticipation, begging to feel the touch and affection of another person. Even if that person is Changbin. Seungmin cups Changbin’s cheek with his hand, voice barely audible as he finally speaks.

“Kiss me.”

Changbin’s eyes widen in surprise, like he wasn’t expecting such a demanding response. He does listen, however, and leans forward to connect their lips in a gentle kiss. Seungmin isn’t satisfied with that, and tips his head to deepen the kiss. Changbin pushes Seungmin backward carefully until his back hits the wall, pressing their bodies together. Seungmin squeaks when Changbin’s hands grab the back of his thighs, picking him up off the ground in one swift motion. 

Oh.

Seungmin shudders and gasps at the sudden movement, wrapping his legs instinctively around Changbin’s waist. Something about the display of strength goes straight to Seungmin’s dick. He picked Seungmin up like it was nothing. 

He exhales shakily when Changbin presses against him in just the right way, applying the perfect amount of pressure to his crotch. Changbin’s forehead falls against Seungmin’s, not kissing anymore, just breathing heavily against each other’s lips. Seungmin gasps loudly when Changbin starts rolling his hips against his, gripping the shorter’s shoulders tightly.

“Is this okay?” he asks gently.

“Fuck yes, don’t stop,” Seungmin gasps much more desperately than intended.

Changbin doesn’t stop, keeping a firm hold on Seungmin as he grinds into him. Seungmin moans quietly at the friction, heat pooling in his gut. Changbin’s lips wander from Seungmin’s mouth to his jawline, creeping down onto his neck. Seungmin leans his head back, shutting his eyes and shuddering as Changbin mouths at his pulsepoint. Seungmin relishes in just feeling Changbin all around him, from his lips on his neck to his hands gripping his thighs tightly, his mind is void of anything other than Changbin.

He’s startled from his state of euphoria when Changbin stills his movements and pulls him away from the wall. Seungmin clutches him tightly as Changbin carries him to a desk and sets him on top of it. 

God, he’d almost forgotten they’re in a classroom. A teacher could walk in on them at any moment. Somehow, the thought of being so close to being caught makes Seungmin’s stomach twist in a way that isn’t unpleasant.

Changbin connects their lips again, his hands freely traversing Seungmin’s back and torso now that they’re free. They slip under Seungmin’s shirt, pressing against his skin. They’re just as warm as Seungmin remembers. 

His thumbs dip below the front of Seungmin’s jeans, and he pulls away breathlessly to ask a simple, “Can I?”

Seungmin shudders, his skin heating where Changbin’s thumbs press against it. He hesitates just for a moment, wondering if this is a good idea. 

His first time being touched like this, with Changbin of all people, in a classroom of all places. It’s certainly not a situation he thought he’d ever be in, let alone for his first. Somehow, he’s still not entirely deterred. He’s desperate, his skin buzzing wherever Changbin’s hands roam, and he’s so painfully hard being pressed against someone like this…it’s easy to get lost in the dizzying feeling. It’s easy to forget who you are, and just want someone, anyone, to indulge in that desire.

“Yes.”

He undoes Seungmin’s jeans and slowly reaches into his boxers. Seungmin inhales sharply and squirms when Changbin takes a hold of him, pulling him out of his boxers. He thumbs over Seungmin’s slit, spreading the bead of precum that shoots out to ease the glide. Changbin places his free hand on the Seungmin’s nape, attaching his lips to the taller’s neck again. Seungmin tips his head back, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip in an attempt to silence any noise that might threaten to escape. He’s not loud like Changbin at all, but every so often a small whimper will fill the empty classroom. 

He’s never been touched like this before. It’s different from doing it himself. It’s like every nerve of his skin is hyper aware of every drag of Changbin’s thumb, every flick of his wrist. 

Seungmin wishes he could last longer, but he’s never done this before. He never realized how badly he needed to be touched, his hips rolling desperately into Changbin’s hand. He clutches the back of Changbin’s shirt and breathes heavily into the shorter’s ear, shaking violently as Changbin’s hand moves quicker against him.

He chases the burning feeling deep in his gut, both desperate to cum and desperate to finish before he ends up being late for his next class.

There’s that unspoken rush between them, wanting to drag the moment out as long as possible, but knowing it isn’t possible with class looming over their heads.

Changbin’s touch soon becomes overwhelming, and Seungmin’s breath quickens. Small whines begin to fall from Seungmin’s open mouth more frequently, and he begins to warn Changbin.

“I’m close,” Seungmin whispers, trying and failing to control the way his voice rises in pitch. 

Changbin moves his hand faster, his thumb dragging across Seungmin’s head and teasing it. The bell rings overhead, but neither of them register it.

“Fuck,” Seungmin moans quietly before quickly biting down on his lip again, shutting himself up. 

Changbin leans back up, pressing his lips firmly against Seungmin’s and swallowing another moan the taller lets out. Seungmin’s thighs tighten around Changbin’s waist. He pulls away from the kiss, unable to breathe. He settles for leaning his forehead on Changbin’s shoulder, chest rising and falling violently as he struggles to control his breathing. He’s so close. 

A couple more thrusts into Changbin’s hand and Seungmin is shaking violently, cumming with little more than a near silent gasp. Changbin works him through it, hand movements slowing and then stopping when Seungmin starts muttering about oversensitivity. 

“Tissues,” Seungmin mumbles, worrying about his cum staining his black jeans.

A poor choice on his part.

Changbin nods and hurries across the classroom, grabbing a box of tissues from the teacher’s desk. He wipes his hand and hands Seungmin his own tissues to wipe himself down. It’s not a perfect clean up method, but it’s the best they can do. Seungmin pulls his jeans back up and is suddenly hit with the realization; he just let Changbin get him off in an empty classroom during school.

What the fuck is going on with him lately?

He hops off the table quickly, startling Changbin who is still wiping his hands. 

“Are you okay?” Changbin asks worriedly.

“I’m late for class,” Seungmin responds, not sparing the elder a glance. 

“Wait-”

“I have to go.”

“But-”

Seungmin hurries out of the room before Changbin can even begin his sentence. It’s not a lie, he’s genuinely 8 minutes late to class, but everything but his tardy spooked him out of that empty room. 

Fuck. Why does he keep doing this? With Changbin of all people? 

This isn’t like you, Seungmin scolds himself as he hurries to his next class. 

He stops in the bathroom to fix his appearance and reads the confused texts from his friends about his absence from lunch. Felix says he picked up his backpack for him in case he was sick or something. 

Not sick, Seungmin thinks, but something is definitely wrong with me.

Once he reaches the classroom, he’s met with the bemused stares of his classmates, and an extremely unimpressed teacher. Seungmin makes up some bullshit excuse about getting sick after lunch. The teacher ends up letting him off, since he’s never been late before, and Seungmin is a “good student”.

Would a good student skip class to get off on school grounds with a known delinquent?

Seungmin shakes off all thoughts of this and slides into his seat beside Felix, who gives him a questioning look. Felix is the only person who can see right through every lie Seungmin tells. He’s incredible at lying, but Felix has his best friend-senses.

“Where were you?” his best friend asks while the teacher is lecturing.

“I felt sick.”

Felix raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t press any further, focusing his attention on the teacher again.

Seungmin goes through the rest of his day paranoid out of his mind. As if everyone around him knows what he did in that empty classroom. Like people can read his mind or something. 

In his shared class with Changbin he avoids the shorter at all costs, sitting at the furthest desk from him. He tries to ignore the way Changbin keeps glancing over at him, but the shorter’s gaze burns into the side of his head relentlessly. 

He’s never been so happy to leave school.

Once he’s finally home, elbow deep in homework, his doorbell suddenly rings. He frowns, wondering if maybe Felix left something over the weekend. A quick glance at his phone shows that Felix hasn’t texted him though, which immediately strikes him as odd. When he opens the door, he freezes instantly.

It’s Changbin. In all of his hot topic glory. He’s not wearing Seungmin’s hoodie anymore, the hoodie hanging over his arm instead. Without it on, Changbin’s entire appearance is draped in black again.

“What do you want?” Seungmin narrows his eyes.

“I came to give back your hoodie. You forgot to take it earlier,” Changbin gestures to the baby blue material.

Seungmin doesn’t move, staring at Changbin for a long moment.

“How do you know my address?”

“My phone remembered it from when I dropped off you and Felix the other night...Look, I’m just here to drop off your hoodie, Seungmin. No other intentions.”

With that, Changbin reaches out and offers Seungmin the hoodie. When Seungmin slowly begins reaching for it, Changbin interrupts.

“On one condition,” Changbin pulls the hoodie back in.

Seungmin glares, expecting some stupid shit to come out of his mouth. 

“I want to know why.”

Seungmin blinks. Not at all what he was expecting.

“Why...what?” he asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Why you did...what you did,” Changbin visibly swallows. “At the party.”

Seungmin’s heart stops beating. Why did he do it? Even he doesn’t know.

“I don’t know,” he answers quietly. 

“You just...did it? Just because?”

“...I don’t know.”

Changbin still doesn’t seem convinced. “I just want to know why, Seungmin. You said it’s not like you, so why?”

Why? Why did he? 

“I don’t know,” Seungmin repeats, shaking his head. “Really, Changbin.”

Changbin is silent for a brief moment before he offers the hoodie again. His face is unreadable as Seungmin tentatively takes it from him. 

Seungmin feels something akin to disappointment upon taking his hoodie back. Like everything is set back to normal, there’s no need for Changbin to be here anymore. They can go back to their daily routine, no more of this strange tension between them. 

But does he really want that? 

Changbin turns to leave, and without thinking, Seungmin immediately reaches out and takes ahold of his wrist. 

No. He doesn’t want that.

“Don’t go,” Seungmin urges quietly.

Changbin freezes, eyes widening at Seungmin’s sudden plea. 

“...What are you doing, Seungmin?”

Seungmin exhales shakily, “I don’t know. Just…don’t go. Please.”

Changbin looks down at Seungmin’s hand on his wrist, then back up to meet Seungmin’s eyes.

“Are you sure about this?” 

Seungmin nods vigorously, the hold on Changbin’s wrist tightening. He pulls Changbin closer, lips twitching when he hears the shorter’s breath hitch.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this,” Seungmin admits. “But I do know that I want this.”

He tips his head and pauses, gauging Changbin’s reaction to make sure they’re on the same page.

“What do you want?” Seungmin asks.

“You,” is Changbin’s answer without a beat of hesitation.

That’s all the confirmation Seungmin needs to pull Changbin inside, pressing their bodies together and getting lost in each other once again. Seungmin kicks the door shut behind them in one swift motion, tossing his sweatshirt to the side. Changbin picks him up, hands tight on his thighs. Seungmin wraps his arms around Changbin’s neck and kisses him, smiling as the shorter’s soft lips move passionately against his own. Seungmin shudders against him, sparks running down his spine.

Lost in his own world, Seungmin lets out an embarrassingly disappointed noise when Changbin pulls away. 

“Is this going to be a thing now?” Changbin asks, lips sliding across Seungmin’s cheek. “Because fuck, I haven’t been able to keep my mind off you since Saturday. You keep doing this to me and I’m starting to become addicted to you, Seungmin.”

Seungmin sighs, “It shouldn’t be a thing.”

Changbin pulls away with a frown. “So you don’t want to?”

“I never said that.”

Changbin squints. “...You’re really confusing, you know that? Like, one second you’re yelling at me, the next you’re kissing me and it’s like...What’s going on in your head?”

“That doesn’t mean-” Seungmin starts to protest.

“-That you like me. Yeah, you told me the first time. I just need to know what exactly it is that you want before you jump me again.”

“ Jump you? I did not jump you,” Seungmin scoffs. 

“You’ve jumped me all three times.”

Seungmin narrows his eyes. “First of all, you offered to get me off that last time.”

“You still dragged me into that classroom in the first place. It’s okay, you can admit it, you’re into me.” 

“You know what I’m really into? When you-” Seungmin presses a finger to Changbin’s lips. “-Shut up.”

Changbin smiles around his finger, “How’d you make me shut up the first time? That worked like a charm. You should do that again.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes but moves his hand to entangle it in Changbin’s hair. He tips his head and captures Changbin’s lips with his own, tightening his thighs around Changbin’s torso. He has no idea how Changbin is able to carry him like this for so long but Seungmin can’t say he’s complaining. 

Changbin drags his tongue along Seungmin’s bottom lip, coaxing the taller to open his mouth and let it slip inside. Seungmin tips his head back with a low whine, melting against Changbin’s chest. 

Changbin pulls away after a minute, swiping his tongue across his lips. He never strays far from Seungmin’s lips, eyeing them hungrily. Like he can’t get enough.

“You never answered me if this’ll be a thing or not.”

Seungmin sighs, shaking his head lightly, “We’ll talk about it later, okay? Now, shut up and kiss me.”

Changbin laughs softly and eagerly obliges.

-

Seungmin leans his head back against the pillow, eyes shut. Warm lips slide across his neck, goosebumps crawling up his skin.

Changbin is attached to his side, one hand rubbing patterns into the soft flesh of Seungmin’s stomach. Seungmin sighs and runs a hand through his hair, his heartbeat slowly coming down from its erratic speed. 

“Get some tissues from the bathroom,” Seungmin mutters.

Changbin pulls away from his neck hesitantly. His gaze flickers over Seungmin’s face once before he gets up and disappears into the bathroom. Seungmin nibbles on his lower lip until he gets back, accepting the tissues Changbin hands him.

Once they’re all cleaned up, Seungmin pulls his boxers back on, moving back to his curled position on the bed. He frowns when he feels the bed dip beside him.

“What are you doing?” he asks, turning and narrowing his eyes at Changbin.

“...Resting?”

“Shouldn’t you be going home?” 

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “Are you kicking me out already ? I just came, give me a break.”

“There really isn’t any reason for you to stay,” Seungmin clips. 

Changbin laughs, “Always so eager to get rid of me, and yet we keep ending up in this situation.”

Seungmin sits up, scoffing at Changbin. “Just because I let you get me off doesn’t mean I suddenly enjoy your company.”

Changbin leans in closer to him and hums, “That’s sad. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve been spending together.”

Changbin runs his fingers up Seungmin’s cheek, hovering just over his face. His lips turn upward in a small smile, eyes lit with amusement.

“Smug bastard,” Seungmin mutters.

Changbin laughs softly. Despite his previous prickly words, Seungmin doesn’t pull away when Changbin leans in, kissing him chastely. It doesn’t last long though, to Seungmin’s disappointment. 

“You’re right though, I really should be going,” Changbin murmurs.

He presses one last kiss to Seungmin’s lips before pulling away entirely. He tugs on his pants and throws his shirt over his head, and Seungmin does the same. Seungmin ushers Changbin out of his room to the front door, the shorter uncharacteristically silent for the first time in a while.

Changbin pauses in the doorway, leaning against the frame and tipping his head at Seungmin. “I assume I’ll be seeing you again soon?”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Seungmin deadpans.

Changbin chuckles and nods, “Alright. I won’t.”

He gives Seungmin one last stupid smile before turning on his heels. Before he can go, Seungmin stops him, a lingering question on his mind.

“Wait.” Changbin turns back around. “...Did you mean it…when you asked if this was going to be a constant thing…?”

“...Did you think I was joking?”

Seungmin looks down at the floor, stomach twisting. He knows Changbin wasn’t joking, but he needed to be sure before he agreed to anything. 

Most importantly, he knows what he wants now. 

“It can be,” Seungmin mumbles.

“Huh?”

Seungmin lifts his chin, looking Changbin square in the eye. “Look, we can keep doing this-whatever this is-on one condition. You don’t tell a soul what we’re doing.”

“I haven’t, and I won’t,” Changbin promises.

Seungmin narrows his eyes. “I mean it. If I found out you told anyone…”

“What? You’ll beat me up?” Changbin grins. “You need to work on your threats. You’ve got a puppy face, and little stick arms, you’re not intimidating.”

Seungmin huffs, “I can be intimidating.”

“Mhm, sure. I won’t tell anyone, so you won’t need to worry about kicking my ass anyways,” Changbin laughs and winks.

Seungmin tries to not react to the wink, but he feels his cheeks burning anyway. He looks away.

“Okay. Cool.” 

“Can I get your number?” Changbin suddenly asks.

Seungmin blinks, scoffing a bit at the question, “Why would you need it?”

“Well we can’t do this again at school, too much risk getting caught,” Changbin explains. “We can just text when we want to meet up again.”

“Are you implying I’m a booty call?”

Changbin’s eyes widen and he raises his hands defensively. “No, no, no, no that’s not-I didn’t-”

Seungmin watches him flounder for a moment then snorts, “I’m just kidding. Give me your phone.”

Changbin passes his phone somewhat hesitantly, watching as Seungmin types his number in. 

“For emergencies only,” Seungmin says as he passes it back.

Changbin smiles a little. “Alright. I’ll see you around then.”

Seungmin nods and shuts the door faster than intended, pressing his forehead against it and shutting his eyes. He cringes when he realizes he basically just slammed the door in Changbin’s face. 

That regret passes when the reality of the situation hits Seungmin. Did he really just agree to keep doing this with Changbin? 

He presses his face defeatedly into the door.

It’s like what Changbin said, it’s... addicting. The feeling of being touched and the state of euphoria that comes with it is addicting. Seungmin is so touch starved he melts at the slightest touches from Changbin. Changbin is attractive, and the fact that he’s just as attracted to Seungmin as Seungmin is to him makes Seungmin giddy. 

It’s stupid how easily Seungmin gives into his own hormones for a guy he can’t stand. Seungmin isn’t like this. He doesn’t hook up with people, even less so people he doesn’t even like.

Now? He’s hooked up with Changbin three times and given him his number. Like some sort of fucking booty call. 

Seungmin’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he closes his eyes.

Don’t fucking read it. Don’t answer it.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads the message.

Felix: hey do u have the geometry notes from today? i was kinda distracted lol

Seungmin releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. It’s just Felix. 

Then he immediately scolds himself for checking the message so fast thinking it was Changbin. Since when does he wait around for Changbin? 

His phone buzzes again. Seungmin, with no sense of self control, immediately checks the message.

Unknown: hi, is this seungmin?

Seungmin: it is he.

Unknown: hi! :D this is changbin

Seungmin: hey.

Changbin: text me if you need anything

Seungmin: okay.

Seungmin will not.

-

Okay, so Seungmin does.

Changbin just keeps staring at him in the hallway and throughout their shared class. It isn’t anything excessive, but more than once Seungmin catches Changbin sparing him a few glances. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the unspoken tension between them. 

Neither of them wants to text first, Seungmin out of pure pride and stubbornness. He doesn’t want to look desperate, even if he kind of is. He doesn’t want to give Changbin some sort of satisfaction knowing Seungmin wants him that badly. Seungmin is unsure of Changbin’s reasons, but he assumes it’s a pride thing too. 

But honestly, if Changbin is just going to eye fuck him during class, why not just throw his pride away and text Seungmin?

Yet, Changbin doesn’t. He just let that tension between them fester, and it drives Seungmin insane.

So, after a week of dancing around each other, Seungmin breaks first.

Seungmin: my place, wednesday right after school

Changbin: huh?

Seungmin: do i have to spell it out for you?

Changbin: oh

Changbin: yes, okay. ill be there

-

Changbin buries his face into the side of the pillow, a low whine escaping the back of his throat. Seungmin drags his mouth along Changbin’s collarbones, running it over the previous marks he’d embedded into the elder’s skin. The quickening of Changbin’s breath in sync to Seungmin’s hand movements alerts Seungmin that he’s close. 

Changbin’s an easy person to read, Seungmin finds. Every hitch of his breath, every bite of his lip tells something to Seungmin. He’s an open book, and Seungmin wants to familiarize himself with the words inked on his pages.

He drags his fingertips slowly up Changbin’s torso, listening intently to the sound of Changbin’s heavy breathing. His fingers just barely brush over Changbin’s nipple, causing the elder to suck in a breath. 

Aha, noted.

Seungmin presses another kiss against his collarbone, sucking another dark bruise on Changbin’s lower collarbones. His hand travels, pointedly this time, until his thumb experimentally drags over Changbin’s nipple again. He draws his thumb in slow circles over it, causing Changbin to moan and arch his body up into Seungmin’s hand. Seungmin pumps him faster, finding a rhythm between his two hand movements. Changbin squirms under him, whimpering with his eyes squeezed shut. 

Seungmin watches him in fascination, he didn’t realize he could get such a reaction from this. Curiously, he pulls his mouth away from Changbin’s collarbones, traversing downward to his chest. He stops at Changbin’s nipple, parting his lips and flattening his tongue against it. 

“Oh,” Changbin cries out shakily, hand grasping tightly at Seungmin’s shirt.

Seungmin continues giving kitten licks until Changbin is shaking violently under him. It doesn’t take long at all for Changbin to cum in his hand, muffled whines and a Seungmin escaping him.

Seungmin reaches over to his nightstand and pulls some tissues out of the box. He’d placed them there for this exact reason, and he silently praises himself for it. 

“I didn’t realize you were so sensitive there,” Seungmin comments, sitting back on the bed once he’s done cleaning up.

Changbin frowns bemusingly, pulling his boxers up his legs. “Isn’t everyone?”

“I’m not.”

Changbin sits up, eyebrows raising, “Really?”

“Why is that such a shock?” Seungmin laughs a little. 

“I don’t know, I just didn’t realize it wasn’t a normal thing...You’re not sensitive like... at all?”

Seungmin shakes his head. “Not that I’m aware of no, but maybe it’s different when someone else touches you.”

Changbin looks away, still frowning, as if in deep thought. “I don’t know, sounds more like a you thing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not very responsive,” Changbin says simply with a shrug. 

Seungmin blinks. “...Is that an issue?”

“No! No. I don’t mean it as an insult,” Changbin quickly reiterated himself. “I just mean that you’re less sensitive and way less responsive than I am.”

“Well yeah, you act like a damn pornstar or something,” Seungmin rolls his eyes.

Changbin places a hand on his chest, as if wounded. “I’m emotionally sensitive too, you know.” Changbin returns to his normal sitting position and shrugs again. “I guess we’re just different.”

As if that weren’t already obvious.

Changbin tips his head, turning to Seungmin. “Back on what I said earlier, I really don’t mind that you’re quiet. I think you sound really pretty, actually.”

Seungmin looks up at that. Did he just compliment the sounds Seungmin makes when he…?

Yeah, that’s weird to Seungmin. Not a bad weird just...unfamiliar. It’s an unfamiliar compliment, especially from Changbin.

They don’t talk much after they do this, other than maybe a quick conversation during their goodbyes. Usually, it's Seungmin being his guarded self and Changbin being...Changbin. Nice enough, always just a little too sweet to be real.

He doesn’t really know how to feel about this situation. It’s weird to do this with someone he’s found so annoying for years now. He doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with Changbin, everything feels awkward. They both feel out of place, and it’s obvious.

“Sorry, was that too forward?” Changbin hesitantly asks.

Seungmin realizes he hasn’t said anything and shakes his head. “No, sorry. I just zoned out for a second...Thanks. I guess.”

“I actually think it’s better that you’re a bit quiet,” Changbin continues. “It feels more rewarding when I actually get something out of you. Like I did something right.”

“Oh.” Seungmin’s ears burn. 

That’s...true enough, Seungmin assumes. When he’s enjoying himself he will let himself go a little. He gets embarrassed when that happens though, so he tries to stay as quiet as possible. 

“Anyways,” Changbin interrupts his thoughts. “I should probably go now.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrows in surprise. He watches as Changbin picks up his clothes and starts redressing himself.

Changbin pauses when he catches Seungmin watching him. “What? Don’t want me gone so soon?” he says, that playful tone ever so present in his voice.

Seungmin turns away. “Just surprised you’re not trying to stay and nap like last time.”

“I know where I’m not wanted,” Changbin says offhandedly, slipping his shirt over his head.

Seungmin feels bad. He did kick out Changbin pretty quickly last time. Should he be a bit more hospitable? Changbin hasn’t been anything but kind so far, and Seungmin feels bad for being a bit cold. 

Still, he can’t find it in him to invite Changbin to stay a little longer. It feels awkward, he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what he would say if Changbin were to stay. He doesn’t know anything about Changbin, he doesn’t know how to interact with him outside of...whatever they’ve been doing.

So, he watches Changbin leave, unspoken words on the tip of his tongue.

-

Seungmin watches in a mix of confusion and exasperation as Changbin struts around school yet again in another one of his hoodies. This time, rather than Seungmin’s light blue hoodie, he’s stolen Seungmin’s dark pink one with little hearts on it. Seungmin hates how Changbin carries himself while wearing his clothes. He’s so smug and confident, it’s like an inside joke between them. 

Except Seungmin isn’t laughing.

He’d been talking to Felix by his locker in the morning before class began when he saw that fucker casually walk by wearing his hoodie. He stole Seungmin’s hoodie again...and for what? 

During their shared class, Seungmin glares profusely at Changbin, who for the first time in weeks, doesn’t spare him a single glance. Seungmin takes out his phone, aggressively typing a message into his phone.

Seungmin: seriously?

Changbin acknowledges the buzzing in his pocket quickly, pulling out his phone. Seungmin glares harder when he catches the smirk on Changbin’s lips, even from across the classroom.

Changbin: ?

Seungmin: oh dont play dumb i see u smirking over there like a dumbass

Changbin: im just happy to be blessed with a message from you

Seungmin: you stole my hoodie.

Changbin: i would never do such a thing

Changbin: i simply borrowed it for the day

Seungmin: take it off.

Changbin: oh minnie...in public? 

Seungmin has to physically hold back a scream.

Seungmin: just give me the damn hoodie

Changbin: hmm meet me after school?

Seungmin: im not getting you off after you stole from me

Changbin: im not insinuating that...im just trying to get you your hoodie back :)

It’s a damn lie if Seungmin’s ever heard one. 

He puts his phone away, deciding not to entertain Changbin’s antics anymore. It’s obvious he’s toying with Seungmin, trying to get a reaction out of him. That’s what he’s always done. 

Seungmin has no choice but to play along with his game.

After school, Changbin sends him a text saying he’s by his car in the parking lot. Seungmin hurries to the lot, eyes scanning the dozens of cars before spotting his pink hoodie beside one. He storms over to the car, glad that the parking lot is big, and many people are too busy trying to leave to notice the two.

“Okay,” Seungmin gasps from his little run, bracing one arm on the car. “Give me my hoodie.”

Changbin tips his head, a smile making its way onto his face. “How about a ride?”

Seungmin shakes his head, “Not in the mood for your games. I want my hoodie.”

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman,” Changbin says too sweetly to be true. “In return for borrowing your hoodie.”

Seungmin narrows his eyes and corrects him, “Stealing. This is theft.”

“You don’t have to accept,” Changbin shrugs. “Although, I figured getting a ride is better than the bus. They look awfully crowded these days.”

It’s true. Seungmin’s been trying to plead with the school board to get a few more buses, because the school is overcrowded, meaning the buses are such. The capacity of each bus is 75, and each time Seungmin has to ride it, he counts about 90 kids crammed into it. It’s awful. Especially on hot days when the last thing Seungmin wants to do after a long day of school, is be shoved into a hot bus with sweaty bodies all around him like a crayon box.

Seungmin debates his options. Either the school can cram him onto his little moving crayon box, or he can hitch a ride with the bane of his existence. Ultimately, he decides against the bus.

“Fine,” Seungmin huffs. 

Changbin smiles, and retreats into his car. Seungmin hesitantly sits in the passenger side, sliding his backpack onto the floor by his feet. 

The drive is quiet, save for the steady beat of the pop music playing over the radio. The silence between them isn’t uncomfortable, but Seungmin is restless, confused. He still doesn’t understand why Changbin keeps stealing his clothes. Is he trying to get a rise out of Seungmin? Is it some sort of weird kink? 

Changbin does look good in his hoodie, Seungmin admits, casting a glance over at the older. He’d noticed the first time how small it made him look. Again, this pink hoodie is too big on him, swamping over his arms and drowning his body in it. His fingers just barely peek out to grip the wheel from under his sweater paws. Seungmin’s stomach unwillingly lurches at the sight. From anger or something else he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

He looks up when he recognizes the scenery around him, realizing Changbin is already in their neighborhood. Soon enough, the elder is turning into Seungmin’s driveway. He shifts the gear into park, hidden fingers twisting against the pink fabric.

Changbin glances at Seungmin, brushing his bangs out of his eyes and offering him a smile. “We’re here.”

Seungmin pulls his backpack up and steps out of the car. He walks up to the door, turning and expecting Changbin to hand over the hoodie. Instead, Changbin stops in front of him, leaning on the doorframe casually.

“What are you doing?” Seungmin asks, immediately suspicious. “Why do you keep stealing my clothes? To get a rise out of me?”

“It’s a fun way to get you riled up,” Changbin smiles. 

Of course. That’s Changbin’s favorite pastime isn’t it? To annoy and rile Seungmin up. In more ways than one.

“Well consider me riled up,” Seungmin responds, unamused. “Now, give me my hoodie back.”

“Wanna know a secret?” Changbin leans closer to Seungmin, a smirk spreading across his face. “I’m not wearing a shirt underneath the hoodie,” he whispers. 

Seungmin swallows. “So how am I supposed to get it back?”

Seungmin’s stomach twists and his breath hitches as Changbin’s lips slide against his ear to say, “Why don’t you take it off for me and we figure it out from there?”

Seungmin exhales shakily. He knows he’s playing right into Changbin’s hands, but he doesn’t care. He’s too overwhelmed with the desire already washing over him from their closeness, picturing Changbin unclothed and pretty under him. He knows what he wants. 

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Seungmin turns his head to the side, allowing their lips to slide together softly before connecting them. Seungmin sighs against Changbin’s mouth, wrapping his arms around the shorter’s waist and taking him inside. Changbin pulls him in by the neck and Seungmin digs his fingers into the soft fabric of his own hoodie before slipping them underneath. Changbin hadn’t been lying, he’s not wearing anything under the hoodie. Changbin shudders as Seungmin runs his hands up his bare back, pressing their bodies closer.

Changbin suddenly pulls away, breathless. “You know, you can tell me if I push you too far. I know I tease you and stole your hoodie but...honestly, tell me if you’re uncomfortable. I genuinely didn’t steal your hoodie the first time. I admit, I did wear it to get your attention, but I didn’t steal it in the first place, you left it. Tell me if anything I do makes you uncomfortable.”

Seungmin stares at him, surprised at the sudden reassurance. Changbin’s fingers rub soothing patterns into Seungmin’s neck, watching him with a slightly concerned gaze. 

“It’s fine…” Seungmin responds quietly. He understands that Changbin is just playing with him. It’s a game between them, and Seungmin isn’t opposed to playing along. “I’ll tell you if you cross any lines.”  Changbin nods, leaning in to kiss him again. Seungmin murmurs before he does so, “Besides, I think you look good in my clothes.”

Changbin sucks in a breath and blinks at him. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin breathes, kissing him quickly before the elder pulls away again.

“I…I like wearing your clothes,” Changbin admits quietly. 

“Do you?” Seungmin muses. Changbin swallows and nods feverently. Seungmin grips his waist tightly, brushing their noses together. “I like it when you’re not wearing anything.”

He feels Changbin shudder and smile against his mouth, muttering a, “Shit,” before colliding their lips in a desperate kiss all over again.

-

It remains a game between them, for Changbin to steal Seungmin’s clothes. It starts with his hoodies, then it turns into his shirts. He attempts jeans, but Seungmin’s are far too long for his shorter legs. It continues for a while, Changbin showing up to school in Seungmin’s various clothes. Seungmin would be lying if he said he didn’t find it strangely attractive for Changbin to wear his clothes. He looks so small in Seungmin’s clothes. And the fact that it’s Seungmin’s clothes he’s wearing…it does things to him that he doesn’t understand. (Maybe Changbin was a bit of a genius.) Every time they come together, Changbin goes out in Seungmin’s clothes. 

Seungmin anticipates seeing Changbin in his light lavender sweater, but when he wakes up the next morning, his body is fatigued. He feels sweaty, but cold, and he can barely open his eyes long enough to shut off his alarm. 

He can barely walk properly, stumbling through the school halls with heavy eyelids. His brain feels foggy, and he can barely form a coherent thought.

“Hey...you okay?” Felix asks during one of their shared classes.

Seungmin stares at him wearily, his brain unable to properly register the words. He blinks slowly before his brain catches up and he responds, “I’m great.”

Felix frowns. “You don’t look good.”

“Why’s that?” Seungmin slurs, his mouth feeling weirdly slow.

“Maybe you should go to the nurse-”

Seungmin immediately starts shaking his head in protest. “No, no. I need to stay in class and work.”

“Seungmin-”

Seungmin ignores his best friend, determined to get back to his classwork. He’s terrified of falling behind in his classes, so he pushes himself through his haze. He manages to make it to his next class, feet dragging on the hallway floor. He lays his head down during the period, figuring he can catch a few minutes of rest, and blacks out for a solid while. He’s awakened by a shaking hand, blearily blinking up at a blurry figure.

“Seungmin? Did you fall asleep?” the blurry figure asks. “The next period is already starting.” Seungmin frowns and struggles to identify the voice. “Hey...are you feeling okay?”

His vision somewhat clears up and he recognizes Changbin’s sharp face kneeled down at the desk in front of him. Seungmin sighs, “Don’t feel good…”

“Here, let’s go to the nurse, yeah?”

Weakly, Seungmin gives in and nods, pushing himself to his feet. A wave of nausea rolls over him in waves and he grabs onto the closest thing to keep him steady. Changbin holds him in place, sturdy as a rock.

“Woah, slow down,” Changbin steadies him. 

Seungmin stays still until his head stops spinning. Changbin slowly starts walking him forward out of the classroom.

“My backpack…” Seungmin reaches back.

“Shush, I’ll get it later for you,” Changbin promises quietly.

Seungmin leans into him heavily, his legs feeling weighted, like he could collapse at any step. Fatigue settles deep in his bones, but his mind feels cloudy. He feels light-headed, and if Changbin weren’t keeping him to the ground, he’d float away completely.

He warns Changbin as much, clinging to the elder’s arm. “Don’t let go. I’ll float away.”

Changbin doesn’t respond, but he does stop in the middle of the empty hallway. The bell rings overhead and Seungmin registers somewhere in the back of his mind that he’s late for class, but his body is tired of moving.

Changbin raises a hand to Seungmin’s forehead, frowning deeply. His forehead creases in concern, eyes searching Seungmin’s face. “You’re burning up,” he murmurs worriedly.

Seungmin giggles, immediately thinking of the Jonas Brother song. It’s kind of catchy.

Changbin continues leading Seungmin down the hall until they reach the nurse’s office. There, Changbin helps place Seungmin on the nearest bed. He eases Seungmin back onto it, the younger sighing as he finally rests back, sagging onto the hard bed. He immediately closes his eyes, barely registering the nurse placing a thermometer under his tongue and taking his temperature. 

“Seungmin, I’m going to call your parents to come pick you up, alright?” the nurse says gently.

“Can’t,” Seungmin mumbles. “They work late.”

“I can take him home,” Changbin immediately offers.

“Mr. Seo, there are still four periods left in the day, and you are not sick. I can’t allow you to leave school property.”

“I’ll take him home once school ends, then.” Seungmin hears footsteps approach, and he opens one eye to see Changbin standing at the edge of the bed with a small smile. A gentle hand brushes Seungmin’s sweaty bangs out of his eyes. “Get some rest Seungmin, I’ll be back for you later.”

Seungmin feels his own lips twitch upwards as his eyes slip shut. He feels like he’s asleep for a solid five minutes before he’s interrupted by Changbin’s voice again.

“Hey, Seungmin?” Changbin asks softly, his hand gently shaking his shoulder. 

Seungmin opens his eyes and tries to sit up, feeling that same wave of nausea come over him and decides better of it. He opens his mouth to ask for help but Changbin is already ahead of him, slipping a strong arm under Seungmin’s frail body. 

He supports Seungmin steadily as they walk to his car. Seungmin clings to him the entire way, eyes barely able to hold themselves open. He’s still half asleep from his nap, but with Changbin’s help he’s able to make it to the car and collapse in the passenger seat. Changbin grabs a stray jacket from the backseat and wraps it around Seungmin, who slips his arms into it like a shell. He rests his cheek on the armrest and closes his eyes again. The darkness of sleep pulls him in with the gentle lull of the car engine and Changbin’s jacket covering him.

He doesn’t remember much of the car ride, and barely remembers half walking, half being carried to his room. All he knows is one second he’s in the car the next he’s in his room.

Changbin helps set him down on the bed before asking, “Do you have any medicine?”

“Bathroom,” is all Seungmin can say. His throat burns, in desperate need of water. 

Changbin hurries off, returning a few minutes later empty handed. “I didn’t find anything for a fever.”

“Maybe my mom’s…?”

Changbin disappears again. When he gets back, he says, “Seungmin, I’ll be right back. You’ll be okay alone for a few minutes, right?”

Seungmin nods lightly. He sits somewhere in limbo while he waits, his brain foggy and confused. The only thing that brings him back down to earth and keeps him grounded is Changbin’s gentle voice. Changbin presses a cool hand against Seungmin’s burning forehead, murmuring something that Seungmin doesn’t catch. 

“Sit up.” Seungmin hardly has the energy to ask why, so he lets himself be pulled up. A cup of something is raised to his lips and instinctively he drinks, almost gagging on the chemical grape flavoring that hits his throat. “It’s medicine for your fever. Try to drink it all.”

Seungmin scrunches his nose at the taste but works through it, swallowing the entirety of the thick liquid. Changbin raises a bottle to his lips and Seungmin drinks the water, washing away the taste of the medicine and hydrating his dry mouth. Seungmin sighs after drinking a good amount of water, not realizing just how thirsty he’d been. 

Changbin coaxes him to lie back down, pulling the covers over him. Seungmin shrinks under the blanket, his body shivering. Despite sweating like crazy, he’s freezing. Changbin’s jacket is still wrapped around him, and it helps somewhat, but it’s still not enough.

He remembers how strong and warm Changbin is, and wonders if the elder could warm him up. He looks like he’d give great hugs.

“Changbin?”

“Yeah?” Changbin looks up from where he’s sitting at the edge of the bed. 

“Can you hug me?”

Changbin is silent for what feels like an eternity, and Seungmin’s mind starts to drift off again before the elder responds. “What?”

“‘M cold,” Seungmin mumbles. “You’re always warm.”

“I-Are you sure?” Changbin stutters.

Seungmin digs himself further under the blanket and whines, “Please. It’s cold.”

Changbin scoots over to sit beside him, lowering himself slowly and cautiously, like he expects Seungmin to bite him or something. Seungmin wiggles over to give him room, leaning into Changbin’s warmth as the elder lays beside him. Even slower than before, Changbin’s arms wind themselves delicately around Seungmin’s waist. He stays an awkward distance away, his shoulders practically dislocating at the angle he’s holding Seungmin at. Seungmin leans closer into him, into the endless warmth he radiates until he’s fallen completely into the elder’s arms, back pressed against his chest. Changbin relaxes, their bodies naturally slotting together as the awkwardness falls away, not that Seungmin senses it through his foggy thoughts.

Seungmin is dizzier than ever, but for a whole new reason. Through the thickness of his mind, he registers Changbin’s arm securely holding him, and he’s never felt more safe and warm.

“I knew you’d be a good hugger,” Seungmin says sleepily.

Changbin’s breath fans out against his nape as he laughs, somewhat nervously. Not that Seungmin is conscious enough to notice it. 

No, he’s already slipping away again, but this time he’s not worried about floating away. This time he’s safe in Changbin’s arms.

-

Seungmin wakes up cold and alone.

His body still feels exhausted and sweaty, but better. His mind is cleared from his fever induced delirium, and as soon as it fully wakes up, he sits up with wide eyes.

Had it been a fever dream? Was Changbin ever even here?

He raises his hand to rub his eyes and stares at the black fabric encasing his wrist, and looks down to see that he’s still wearing Changbin’s jacket. So Changbin had helped him.

Seungmin’s memory is dodgy, but the one constant thing that seems real through it all is Changbin. Changbin had taken care of him and-

Oh God. They fucking cuddled. Seungmin asked Changbin to cuddle him.

He buries his face in his hands, his ears burning red as he realizes just how embarrassingly he had acted. He gets clingy when he’s tired, and even needier when he’s sick. Felix can vouch for this, but he can’t believe he would act that way with Changbin.

The sound of his door opening yanks him out of his thoughts, and he jerks his head up to see his mom standing in his doorway.

“Oh, you’re awake,” she says with a smile. “I was just about to give you some more medicine.” Seungmin blinks as his mom walks up to his bedside, handing over the thick liquid along with a cup of water. Once he drinks it all, she feels his forehead. “Are you feeling better? You feel less warm.”

“I feel better, yeah.”

“You were pretty out of it when I got home yesterday-” Yesterday? “ -but that sweet friend of yours seemed to have taken good care of you. He even bought you some medicine.”

Seungmin’s heart jumps to his throat. His mom and Changbin met? 

“Oh,” is all he says outloud, despite his swirling thoughts on how his mom had met Changbin. How had that even gone?

“You should eat something, sweetheart,” his mom pats his leg gently. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

That’s when it hits Seungmin. “School-!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. You were very sick, Min. Your friend said you were sleeping during class and could barely stand up properly. It’s best that you stayed home and rested.”

Seungmin groans and rubs his eyes, “Oh, but I’ve probably already missed so much.”

“Maybe Changbin can offer you his notes?” his mom suggests.

Seungmin doesn’t even know if Changbin takes notes. From what Seungmin sees-not that he actively stares at Changbin-the guy is either sleeping, listening to music, or, in recent developments, eye fucking Seungmin from across the class. 

“I guess,” Seungmin mumbles. He can get notes from Felix, he supposes. He stretches his arms and realizes how sweaty he is, and given that he’s been asleep for nearly a day, hasn’t been able to shower. “I’m going to shower and then eat, okay?”

“Want me to make something?” his mom offers. 

Seungmin shakes his head. His mom is a very busy person, and he doesn’t want to burden her, even while he’s sick. He can get food for himself at the very least.

“I’m already feeling a lot better,” he reassures her, swinging his legs over the bedside to stand.

“You’ll have to thank Changbin for bringing you home safely and buying that medicine. That was very sweet of him. How come you’ve never mentioned him before?” his mom asks, causing Seungmin to freeze mid-stretch.

“Um.” Seungmin mentally scrambles to think of something other than the fact that he hasn’t mentioned him because they aren’t really friends, only casually hooking up and- “He just...never came up I guess. We’re-er, not that close.”

It’s not a lie, really. Seungmin winces at the awkwardness of his own voice, but his mom doesn’t seem to notice.

“Oh. Well, you should bring him over more often.” He comes over more often than you think… “He seemed very nice. He was very worried about you.”

That catches Seungmin off guard. Changbin was...worried? About him? Why?

He knows by now Changbin is at least somewhat of a gentleman, though he’s not sure how much he trusts that. It’s then that it really hits him that Changbin brought him home and took care of him and genuinely worried for him despite them not being friends. Seungmin just doesn’t understand why.

He decides to get in the shower to clear himself and start fresh. His body still feels heavy and his brain is too muddled to really think. He drags himself into the shower and allows the water to wash away the sweat and grime that had accumulated in his long sleep. He comes out feeling fresh and new, like most of his sickness had gone down the drain. 

He puts on some comfortable clothes and hesitates when he sees Changbin’s black jacket on his bed. Despite his mind being clearer than before he finds it wandering back to Changbin, and how the elder had been so gentle and caring with him. Seungmin just refuses to believe it wasn’t a fever dream. He doesn’t want it to be anything but a fever dream. 

Still, he slips on Changbin’s jacket, embracing the warmth it brings. 

Seungmin then digs into his covers and pulls out his phone. A few of his friends had texted him, including a worried Felix.

Felix: u ok? u never miss school :(

Felix: i called ur mom she said ur sick…pls feel better soon :( u must be really sick if you missed school

Felix: ill give u my notes from class

Seungmin scrolls through the texts from his concerned friends, asking why he wasn’t at school, searching for a specific one. Nothing. Changbin hasn’t texted him.

He pushes away his disappointment with a sigh and leaves his room. His stomach growls indignantly, reminding him that he hasn’t eaten since yesterday morning. He heads into the kitchen and starts rummaging through the cabinets to find something to eat, when the doorbell rings.

His mom hurries out from the hallway, claiming she’ll get it for him. Seungmin peeks his head from the kitchen, trying to see who it is. He expects it’s Felix bringing his notes, so he moves forward, then stops when he hears his mom greeting the person at the door.

“Hello Changbin!” his mother greets him excitedly.

Seungmin panics. His hair is still wet and messy, he’s all pale and flushed from his lingering fever. He’s an absolute mess. 

“Hi Mrs. Kim,” Changbin responds brightly. “How’s Seungmin doing?”

“He’s in the kitchen about to e-” His mom turns to gesture toward the kitchen and spots Seungmin lingering behind her. “Oh there he is. Seungmin, sweetheart, your friend is here for you.”

Seungmin winces, and reluctantly walks up to the door, shoving his hands into the pockets of his-Changbin’s-jacket. Oh god he’s still wearing Changbin’s jacket-

“Hey,” Changbin says, a bright smile on his face. His eyes soften as they wander down to Seungmin’s hands in his pockets. “You’re still wearing my jacket.”

The fondness in his voice and eyes have Seungmin’s body feeling weird, and he instinctively averts his gaze. “Yeah I uh, was cold.”

“You look good in it.”

Seungmin doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how. Instead he points to the tupperware in Changbin’s arms that he had just noticed.

“What’s that?” 

“Oh.” Changbin raises it up and offers it to Seungmin. “Well, my mom makes this soup when I’m sick…so I thought maybe you’d want some. It’s really good.” 

Seungmin takes the tub, examining the contents inside. His stomach growls loudly.

“Thank you,” Seungmin says quietly. He glances back into the house nervously, trying to wrack up the courage to ask the question lingering on his mind. “...Do you want to come inside?”

Changbin’s eyes widen in surprise. “I-are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Seungmin scratches the back of his neck. “I could use some company other than my mom.”

Changbin nods. “Okay.”

Seungmin steps out of the way and lets Changbin in, shutting the door behind them. Changbin kicks off his shoes at the door and follows him into the kitchen where Seungmin pulls off the lid of the tub and inhales the beautiful scent of food. His mouth immediately waters and his stomach painfully gurgles. He serves himself a generous amount in a bowl and sits at the table.

“That’s really good,” Seungmin compliments after taking a sip of the warm soup. “You’ll have to thank your mom for me.”

“I will…So are you feeling better? You look better than yesterday. You were kind of…”

“Embarrassing?” Seungmin tries.

“I was going to say out of it.”

“Embarrassingly so,” Seungmin mutters, scooping another mouthful of soup into his mouth. 

“It was kind of cute, but also worrying. You weren’t really making much sense. At one point you started singing a Jonas Brothers song,” Changbin giggles.

Seungmin raises an eyebrow. “And how do you know Jonas Brothers songs?” 

“You wanna know the truth?” Changbin leans in and whispers, “I had a big fat crush on Joe Jonas when I was little.”

“Seriously?” Seungmin laughs in disbelief.

“Dead serious. I thought he was hot.”

Seungmin laughs louder, shaking his head. “That’s crazy...I actually had a crush on Nick.”

“Oh my god,” Changbin tips his head and laughs. His laugh is loud and should be obnoxious...but it’s nice. In a strange way. “Really?”

“Yep. Still kinda do, he’s hot,” Seungmin says in amusement, watching Changbin laugh to himself. When their laughter dies down Seungmin realizes he hasn’t even said thank you to Changbin. Quietly, he speaks up. “Hey so…I never got to say thank you.”

Changbin looks at him quizzingly, then his mouth forms a small ‘o’. “You don’t have to thank me…”

“Of course I do. You helped me when I was really sick.”

“Well yeah, but that’s just common decency. I couldn’t just leave you there while you could barely stand.”

“Still...You brought me home and bought me medicine and you stayed with me, even though you didn’t have to. So, thank you for that,” Seungmin says sincerely.

He still doesn’t understand why Changbin did all of it in the first place, but he likes to assume it’s like Changbin said; common decency. If Changbin were sick, wouldn’t Seungmin help him too? Maybe not to the extent of cuddling and buying him medicine and whatnot but he would help him. But still...the fact that Changbin went above and beyond...

Changbin smiles softly, his eyes crinkling. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”

Seungmin nods and feels a cough bubbling in his throat, he coughs into his sleeve then pulls away with wide eyes. “Oh fuck, your jacket-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just wash it before you give it back to me.”

“Right, because you always give me back my clothes,” Seungmin pointedly looks at the black and white striped sweater Changbin had stolen from him the week before. 

“Fair point. Keep it then. It’s nice to see you wearing my clothes for a change,” Changbin says with a wink.

Seungmin ducks his head, his ears burning. He doesn’t respond at first, caught off guard by the comment. He eats a few more spoonfuls of soup before his mom enters and he inwardly groans. 

“Hello,” his mom greets Changbin brightly. “So Seungmin hasn’t talked about you before. How did you become friends?” 

Changbin’s eyes whip over to Seungmin in panic. Seungmin focuses deeply on his soup. It’s good soup. 

“Um…We share a class together,” Changbin starts slowly.

They’re not lying yet at least.

“Oh, of course. Well, thank you for bringing Minnie home. I meant to pay you back for the medicine yesterday, so here-” 

Seungmin’s mom reaches into her pocket, pulling out her wallet.

“Oh, no it’s fine, Mrs. Kim,” Changbin protests. “The medicine didn’t cost that much-”

“Still. I should’ve had the medicine already, you shouldn’t have to spend your own money to help my boy. It’s my duty as his mother to provide for him.” Seungmin’s mom extends her hand holding the cash. “Please.” Changbin hesitates, but takes the cash, counting it and giving back the extra. “Thank you. You seem like a very sweet boy for my Minnie to be around.”

His mom pinches Seungmin’s cheeks while cooing. Seungmin groans and pulls away from her, “Mom!”

Seungmin’s mom just laughs, and Changbin looks equally amused. Smug bastard. His mom suddenly squints at Changbin.

“Hey…Seungmin has a shirt just like tha-”

Panicking, Seungmin drops his spoon, pulling Changbin by his shoulder. “Hey mom is it okay if I go to my room? I’m feeling kinda nauseous from eating. ‘Kay thanks bye!”

He pulls Changbin to the safety of his room and shuts the door with a relieved sigh.

“...Well that wasn’t suspicious at all,” Changbin snickers behind him.

“Shut up,” Seungmin mutters and turns to him seriously. “If my mom finds out we’re hooking up because you have a thing for wearing my clothes I will actually kill myself.”

“Relax…So are you actually nauseous from eating or was that entirely just a ruse?” Changbin asks, that worried tone back in his voice.

“I’m fine.” Seungmin sits back on his bed. “It was just a fever. I’m still not sure exactly what got me sick.”

“Just a fever? You were talking an awful lot of nonsense,” Changbin says and sits beside him.

“Well it was a bad fever, yes but still just a fever. It’s mostly gone now.”

Changbin doesn’t seem convinced, and he presses a hand to Seungmin’s forehead. He takes the thermometer from its place on the nightstand. He takes hold of Seungmin’s chin and raises the thermometer to his lips, cocking an eyebrow. Seungmin makes a face before opening his mouth.

“This feels familiar.” Changbin smirks while placing the thermometer in his mouth.

Seungmin gives him a withering look and Changbin withdraws it with a chuckle. When he looks at it his amusement fades, a small frown forming instead.

“...A little over 38°C. It’s still not quite back to normal yet. How are you feeling?” 

Seungmin has to turn away from the gentleness in the way Changbin holds him and concern in his voice and eyes. He doesn’t understand why Changbin is looking at him like that, and it confuses him. “I’m feeling a lot better. Just a little fatigued.”

“You should lay down,” Changbin advises. “Your temperature is still a little high, you need some more rest.” 

“I’m not tired .” Seungmin pulls his knees up to his chest. “I just woke up.”

“It’s important to sleep when you’re sick. You want to get better so you can go back to school, right?” 

“I’ll sleep a little later.” Seungmin hesitates before adding, “You don’t have to stay, you know. If you have homework or don’t want to risk getting sick too, I get it.”

“My greatest risk of getting sick was yesterday when we shared the bed together,” Changbin says cheekily, a grin spreading across his face.

Seungmin’s face burns and he covers it with his hands, groaning between his fingers. “Oh god.”

“Sorry, too soon?” 

“No, I just...I had hoped that was a fever dream,” Seungmin buries himself further into his hands. 

“Sorry,” Changbin apologizes again.

“It’s fine. I asked for you to hug me. And thank you for that, by the way.” Seungmin looks down, tugging at the sleeves of Changbin’s jacket. “You um…you really didn’t have to do that.”

So why did you?

“Well I couldn’t let you stay sick and cold, could I? Don’t worry, though. It was nice,” Changbin reassures him. “At least I thought it was. You said I was a good hugger but you were quite out of it so…”

Seungmin nibbles on his lower lip. “I meant it. You are a pretty good hugger. It made me feel better.”

“Thanks.”

They fall quiet, a heavy silence draping the air between them. This is so embarrassing. Seungmin just admitted that he enjoyed cuddling Changbin. He expected Changbin to make fun of him some more, but surprisingly, the elder is quiet, and looking everywhere but him. 

Seungmin admits it, Changbin is in fact, a great hugger. And...he’s not as bad as Seungmin initially thought. He helped Seungmin while he was sick, risking his own health to help him. 

Is it so bad to enjoy physical affection? Hugging Changbin was nice...Would he do it again?

“Hey, I’m-” Seungmin clears his throat, throwing out his last bit of dignity and hugging the jacket around him. He’s sick. Hugging is nice. Changbin said he enjoyed it too…“-I’m actually feeling kind of cold again.”

Changbin’s eyebrows raise. “Oh…Do you want me to get a blanket?” Seungmin stares at him for a long moment, unblinking. “...Oh.”

Idiot, Seungmin thinks, but without the usual bite behind it.

Seungmin just keeps staring at him, the silent question in his eyes. He’s cold, he’s sick. He deserves some comfort, right? To help him feel better. 

Changbin makes his way onto the bed beside Seungmin, laying beside him. It’s a lot different now that Seungmin can actually form coherent thoughts. He can feel the nervousness now that he couldn’t feel before. 

Seungmin eventually turns to his side and leans back into Changbin, drawn to his warmth as always. He bites back a sigh when Changbin presses up against him, slowly wrapping his arms around Seungmin’s torso. The warmth radiating from Changbin’s sturdy body heats Seungmin to the core. 

Changbin’s breath tickles the back of his neck as he murmurs quietly, “I can’t stay for long.”

“S’okay,” Seungmin responds, already feeling his eyes droop shut. The silence between them isn’t awkward, it’s nice. This is really nice. Changbin is really nice. “...Changbin?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Seungmin’s eyes fall shut and his mind slips into darkness. Right before he fully goes unconscious, he feels a soft pair of lips press against the back of his neck, and a nearly inaudible;

“You’re welcome.”

-

Seungmin doesn’t know what he thought would happen after Changbin had taken care of and cuddled him while he was sick. Maybe he expected a shift in their relationship. Maybe he expected them to be a bit more comfortable around each other. 

What he doesn’t expect is for Changbin to ignore him for a week and a half. 

Okay, ignore is a strong word, but he hasn’t made any move on Seungmin since that day he brought him the soup. Not a text, not a random suggestive comment he passes in the hallway, not even one of those looks he gives Seungmin during class. Honestly, it’s like Changbin doesn’t even know he exists at this point.

Seungmin hates being the one to make the first move because it feels desperate, but after over a week of being ignored, he’s driven insane. He at least needs an explanation for why Changbin suddenly dipped on him. Did he get bored of Seungmin that quickly?

Seungmin: hey

Seungmin: you free today?

Changbin: yeah

Changbin: why

How fucking thick-

Seungmin: why do you think?

Changbin: im just making sure. dont wanna go over there with the wrong message. 

Okay. That’s fair. 

Seungmin: okay

Seungmin isn’t enlightened at all after that dry ass conversation. He needs to know why Changbin seemingly lost interest in him but easily agreed to meet when Seungmin asked. What was the point?

Later on when he’s heading to Changbin’s car, he decides to ask why.

Changbin sends him a wide grin as Seungmin climbs into the passenger side. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Seungmin starts casually. Changbin hums and starts the car, backing out of the parking spot. It’s silent for a long minute, and Seungmin tries to come up with a way to get Changbin to explain why he’s been avoiding him. He decides to get straight to the point, there’s no use in beating around the bush. “...Have you been avoiding me?

Changbin glances at him quizzingly. “What?”

Seungmin sighs and plays with his hands. “After I was sick, you never texted or talked or even looked at me during class. I thought you were avoiding me or something. I get if you’re busy or something and can’t hang out, but it seemed like something else.”

“...Oh...I wasn’t avoiding you,” Changbin explains. “I just…Well, after you got better I didn’t want to pressure you into anything since you were just sick. I wanted you to get completely better before we did anything again. Plus…I didn’t want you to think I only cared about you so we can hook up again.”

Oh. That’s...not at all what Seungmin was expecting. 

“Oh,” is all Seungmin can say.

“I did it the first time you gave me your number too…I never want to pressure you into anything. I wanted you to make the first move because you said you’d never done this before. I swear I wasn’t avoiding you, I just didn’t want to press. I wanted you to be comfortable.”

So that’s why Changbin didn’t text him first. Seungmin is speechless. He keeps assuming the worst of Changbin and time and time again Changbin proves to have nothing but good intentions. Why does he have to be so... nice? Why does he have to be so complicated?  

“Thanks…” Seungmin trails off, unknowing of how to respond. He honestly feels like shit now. He keeps expecting Changbin to have these fucked up intentions when Changbin has been nothing but kind. He also feels bad because Changbin went out of his way to make Seungmin feel comfortable. Seungmin likes what they have now though, genuinely. So, he reassures Changbin of this. “Hey...you know you don’t have to like, dip on me or whatever. I promise I’ll tell you if you do something that makes you uncomfortable. Plus, you can just…ask.”

“Right...I know that.” Changbin lowers his eyes a little, before focusing back on the road. “I just feel like I have to be extra cautious around you. We’re not exactly friends so it’s harder to read you, and like I said you’d never done this before so...you know. I just wanted to be careful. The last person I did this with is a really close friend of mine, so it was easy to communicate honestly and I always knew exactly what he was feeling since we’ve known each other for so long and I could read the signs. But you...you’re new territory.”

Seungmin hadn’t thought about that. They’re not close, so it’s harder to be open and honest with each other. It’s nice to know that Changbin thinks about it and goes out of his way to make sure Seungmin is comfortable. Perhaps they just…need to get a little closer. 

Seungmin’s realized over time that Changbin isn’t so bad. He’s sweet and thoughtful and kind of funny in the few times they have had actual conversation. Seungmin isn’t nearly as opposed to the idea of getting to know Changbin better as he was before they started this. Maybe it’s just what they need.

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin says quietly. “I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t communicate with me. Don’t be afraid to talk to me. I promise I’ll try to talk to you too.”

Changbin glances at him with slightly widened eyes. He doesn’t say anything before turning back to the road, blinking a little. 

The silence between them lingers, and it’s not entirely uncomfortable. There’s almost a sense of relief between them. Now, they’re finally on the same page with each other. 

When Changbin reaches his house, he pauses at the car in the driveway. “Is your mom home?”

“Yeah. She is.” Seungmin leans forward with a frown. “I didn’t realize she would be. Usually she tells me if she’s leaving work earlier.”

“I can just drop you off here-”

“No, that’s okay,” Seungmin finds himself interjecting quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly, so he makes sure his next words are even and indifferent. “You can come inside. If you want.”

“Yeah. I’ll go.” Changbin smiles at Seungmin. “Your mom is nice.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you again,” Seungmin grunts as he gets out of the car. 

He was right. His mother is thrilled when she sees Changbin, completely turning her attention from her only son to this strange boy she barely knows. Seungmin can’t help but roll his eyes as he opens the fridge to get a snack. 

“Ah, I brought some pastries from that little bakery down the street. What’s it called...Sweet Spot? Sweet Tooth? I don’t know, but it was good. If I had known Changbin was coming I would’ve gotten some, but I only got enough for Seungmin and his father and I, I’m sorry,” his mother rambles mindlessly.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Kim,” Changbin says easily. “I’m supposed to be cutting down on the sweets anyways.”

Once his mom starts nagging Changbin too much, Seungmin eventually has to drag the boy to the room himself, making up some excuse about studying. “I swear,” Seungmin mutters as he closes the door behind them. “I don’t know why she likes you so much.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m so charming and handsome?” Changbin tries, fluttering his eyelashes in a ridiculous way that has Seungmin snorting.

“No...can’t be that.” Despite his clipped words, there’s no true venom behind them.

He sets his backpack down and approaches Changbin, immediately pressing the shorter against the wall with a smug smile. Changbin is uncharacteristically flustered for once, blinking and stuttering as Seungmin traps him in.

“I-Seungmin, what are you…?”

“Is something wrong?” Seungmin tips his head and gives Changbin a little space. 

“N-No I just thought because your mom-”

“Relax. I’m not gonna do anything crazy while my mom is here.” Seungmin shakes his head and leans in again, pressing kisses to Changbin’s jawline. 

Changbun shudders. “Then what…?”

“Have you never made out with anyone before?” Seungmin pulls away in amusement.

“Of course I have but we don’t normally...do that,” Changbin responds somewhat hesitantly.

“Yeah well, I’m not getting your loud ass off while my mom is nearby so take what you can get.”

Changbin thankfully goes quiet, leaning back and letting Seungmin have his way with him. Seungmin nips at the skin of his neck, smiling when Changbin shudders against him. He connects their lips in a slow kiss, slipping his hands under Changbin’s shirt and circling around his waist. Seungmin forgot how nice it is to just...kiss. To feel Changbin’s lips slide against his own and his hand threading through Seungmin’s hair. 

One thing leads to another and soon Seungmin’s grip on Changbin’s waist is tighter than he planned. The kiss becomes more and more heated and Seungmin sinks his teeth into Changbin’s bottom lip, slipping his tongue between the shorter’s parted lips as he moans. Changbin’s grip on his hair gets tighter, and the hand on Seungmin’s chest fists the fabric of his shirt.  He’s making the prettiest little noises, responsive as ever, maybe a little too loud but Seungmin can’t really find it in him to care right now. Eventually, Changbin pulls away breathlessly, his lips deliciously swollen and shining with spit.

“Wait, wait,” he breathes heavily, pressing a hand flat against Seungmin’s chest. “We should calm down before we get too carried away.”

Seungmin nods hesitantly, his eyes still stuck on Changbin’s red-bitten lips. “Okay...just one more?” 

Changbin nods, and one more ends up being a solid five more minutes of making out against the wall until they’re both completely breathless again. Seungmin presses one last kiss to Changbin’s lips before pulling away completely, retreating to his bed. Changbin follows in suit, sitting on the bed beside him. 

“I should start my homework now,” Seungmin sighs, swiping his tongue across his still tingling lips. He burrows through his backpack and pulls out some of his stuff. “Sorry we can’t do anything today, I didn’t realize my mom would be home. You can leave if you want.”

Changbin laughs and tips his head, eyeing Seungmin with an unidentifiable look in his gaze. “I don’t mind. I need to work on some stuff too. We can work on it together.”

Seungmin nods and they end up working in silence, their pencils scratching on paper the only sound filling the space. Every so often Seungmin feels the desire to fill the space with something, anything. Not that the silence is awkward, in fact it's nice to have someone to work beside. Usually Felix is doing his best to bother the hell out of Seungmin and the latter can never get anything done. Nonetheless, Seungmin still wants to say something, just to spark a conversation, for reasons unbeknownst to himself. 

“What kind of pastry did your mom get you?” Changbin ends up asking, filling the silence and allowing Seungmin to relax knowing he won’t have to come up with anything himself.

Seungmin glances up from his paper. “Ah, I don’t know. I have a bit of a sweet tooth, I’ll eat anything really.”

“Anything specific?” 

“Now you have me in the mood for myeongdong,” Seungmin mutters.

“You should go and get what your mom got you.”

“Don’t feel like getting up.”

“I can get it for you,” Changbin offers easily, setting down his pencil and looking at Seungmin expectantly. 

“You don’t have to-” Seungmin begins.

“It’s not a big deal,” Changbin shrugs. “Let me grab it for you.”

Seungmin finds himself nodding in agreement, and before he realizes it Changbin is already back with a plate and the myeongdong Seungmin has been craving. Seungmin takes the plate then hesitates, watching as Changbin turns back to his work.

“Do you want some?” Seungmin offers, handing the plate of the soft bread.

“I don’t know…I try to eat healthy,” even as Changbin says it, the shorter’s eyes are drawn to it.

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Stare any longer and you’ll start drooling. Just take a bite, I don’t mind.” 

“What about like, germs?” Changbin asks before his face morphs and he immediately realizes what a stupid question it is. 

“Seriously?” Seungmin scoffs. “Ten minutes ago I had my tongue down your throat and now you’re worried about germs?”

“Okay, okay,” Changbin chuckles and raises his hands defensively. “I realize how dumb it sounds now.”

Once they’re both done laughing, Changbin hesitantly reaches out before taking a small bite, using the plate to catch any crumbs. Chocolate cream oozes out of the pastry and Seungmin almost regrets letting Changbin take a bite but lets it go in favor of the way Changbin smiles, his eyes becoming little crescents.

“It’s really good,” Changbin says with a grin. “Try it.”

Seungmin is about to take it when Changbin presses the pastry against Seungmin’s lips himself with no warning. Even though he’s somewhat shocked and confused he opens his mouth on instinct. When he bites down the warm chocolate inside the pastry floods into his mouth and the sweet taste of the buttermilk bread overrides his taste buds. 

When he pulls away he swallows the delicious pastry before asking, “What was that for?”

“What?” Changbin asks dumbly, setting down the pastry.

“You fed me.”

“Oh.” Changbin blinks a little. “Sorry I…I didn’t even think. I do it with my friends so often. My bad.”

Seungmin just drops it since it really isn’t a big deal. Saves him from having to pick up the pastry himself. Speaking of, Seungmin picks it back up.

“Do you want another bite?” he asks. 

Changbin shakes his head. “I’m okay. Like I said, I try to eat healthy.”

Seungmin bites into the treat, muttering through a mouthful of bread, “Weirdo.”

“I thought you’d be a health nut.”

Seungmin stares at him for a long moment. “I look like a health nut to you?”

“I don’t know. You’re the nerdy type, you seem like you watch what you eat too.”

“Yeah, well.” Seungmin swallows the bread before continuing, “People can be different from what they seem.”

“That’s true,” Changbin hums in agreement. Seungmin finishes the last of the pastry and sets the plate on his nightstand, wiping any excess from his lips. “You have a little, um…” Changbin motions with his fingers. Seungmin tries wiping it off, and after a few unsuccessful tries Changbin sighs and reaches forward, brushing his thumb across Seungmin’s bottom lip. “There, I-” He stops and his breath hitches when Seungmin’s tongue teasingly swipes across his thumb, parting his lips and wrapping them lightly around his finger. “You’re evil,” he says breathlessly, his eyes fixated on Seungmin’s mouth around him.

He experimentally pushes his thumb further into Seungmin’s mouth, pressing down on the taller’s tongue. Seungmin lets him, watching him with lidded eyes before pulling away, ignoring Changbin’s pout. He likes catching Changbin off guard, being the one filled with smugness rather than the other way around. 

“Maybe,” Seungmin says with a shrug. 

“Maybe? You’re such a tease and you know it.”

Seungmin can’t help but chuckle, “And?” 

“At least you admit it,” Changbin mutters and gathers his homework together in his lap again. 

“Do you need any help with your homework?” Seungmin offers, watching Changbin’s pencil work it’s way across the paper.

“Nah. Math is easy.”

Seungmin blinks at that, a little surprised. “You like math?”

“Eh…I prefer bio but math is cool too.”

“You usually sleep in math though.” Seungmin frowns.

“Yeah, I retain information like that. I curl into a ball to become a sponge and soak in information.”

Seungmin laughs a little, “That’s not how it works.”

Changbin glances at him, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Is it?” Seungmin can’t help but smile under his gaze. Eventually, Changbin turns back to his work. “Nah, I don’t actually sleep, I just lay my head down. Plus, I usually read the material at home.”

“I thought you hated school.”

Changbin gives him a weird look. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know you just…” Seungmin trails off and shrugs. “You just have that vibe.”

“I mean I don’t hate school...I think there are a lot of things the education system needs to fix. I do sort of hate the system I guess, but I enjoy learning new things. I also like how math comes together when you solve a problem, it’s satisfying. Fuck the system, but learning is cool.”

Seungmin nods along to his words, easily agreeing. “I like learning new things too.”

“Yeah, I figured you’re a nerd,” Changbin snickers teasingly. “With your nerd sweaters.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “You say that as if you don’t steal my clothes daily.”

“Your nerd sweaters are comfy…You should try my clothes one day.”

“Yeah, no,” Seungmin laughs. “I don’t think your clothes would fit me.”

“Excuse me?” Changbin gasps, feigning offense. “You’re not that much bigger than me, gosh. Besides, I usually wear clothes that are a little too big for me anyways.”

“I don’t think your clothes would suit me,” Seungmin responds, trying to picture himself wearing Changbin’s edgy black outfits with ripped jeans, a leather jacket, and his weird boots. “Yeah...no.”

“I think a bad boy look on you would be hot,” Changbin says nonchalantly. Seungmin feels the tips of his ears turn red and he quickly turns away to hide his flustered expression. How is he still not used to Changbin’s antics? “That time you wore my jacket was cute. I like the thought of you in my clothes, just like I like wearing yours.”

“You have a weird clothes kink.”

“And what about it? You continue to indulge me.”

“Keep stealing my clothes and I’ll run out of things to wear,” Seungmin scolds him.

“Would that be so bad?” Changbin grins slyly, reaching over to place a hand on Seungmin’s knee.

Seungmin’s eyes fall onto the hand on his knee and he raises an eyebrow. “You want to play this game now?”

Changbin’s grin widens, and he leans forward and opens his mouth to say something probably stupid and horny, but they’re interrupted by a knock on the door. They jump apart like they’ve been shocked, Changbin pulling his hand back to his homework. Seungmin’s mom opens the door and smiles upon seeing the two of them innocently doing homework.

“I’m going to get an oil change,” she announces. “You two have fun with your homework.”

As soon as she’s gone, Seungmin releases a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. A warm hand finds its way on Seungmin’s knee again, but slides up further to grip his thigh, squeezing it teasingly. Seungmin’s eyes flicker up to meet Changbin’s gaze, the elder already staring at him teasing smile.

Seungmin wraps his fingers around Changbin’s wrist, pulling the hand off his thigh and placing it on his own waist instead. He pushes the notebooks out of the way and crawls into Changbin’s lap, placing his hands on Changbin’s neck and connecting their lips hungrily. Seungmin shudders as Changbin’s hands grips his bare waist under his shirt, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh. Before Seungmin can even react, Changbin is taking him by the waist and flipping them, pinning Seungmin down and pressing him into the mattress. Seungmin gasps and grapples at Changbin’s shirt, the shorter connecting their lips and swallowing the moan Seungmin lets out as he grinds his hips down into him. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this,” Changbin murmurs against his lips. “Of you.”

“God.” Seungmin quivers, wrapping his legs around Changbin and arching up desperately as he succumbs to the desire burning through him. “Me neither.”

-

After that day, Seungmin finds himself increasingly comfortable around Changbin. After they get each other off Changbin stays, making conversation with Seungmin and Seungmin can’t find himself opposed to it. Even during days when Seungmin’s mom or dad is home, they just end up relaxing and doing homework, talking in between work. 

Seungmin finds himself spending much more time than anticipated with Changbin, their arrangement going from a hook up maybe once or twice a week to nearly every day if they’re free. Of course there’s days where they’re too busy or have too much work, and on those days Seungmin finds himself rather lonely. Even on the days Seungmin gathers for student council he finds his mind elsewhere, occupied.

What’s worse, since Seungmin is spending basically all his free time messing around with Changbin, his other friends end up suspicious of him. Especially Felix. The freckled boy hasn’t said anything, but Seungmin can tell that Felix can tell something is off. They just know each other too well like that.

Seungmin knows he hasn’t spent nearly enough time with his best friend lately, so he leans over to Felix one day during class offering to hang out over the weekend.

“I’m actually going to a party on Saturday,” Felix responds. 

“I can go with you,” Seungmin says immediately. He knows parties aren’t really his scene, but he feels really bad for not hanging out with Felix lately. “We haven’t hung out a lot lately, so we can just go together. We’ll spend the whole time together to make up for the time we lost, okay?”

Felix smiles brightly at Seungmin’s promise. “Okay!” 

Seungmin feels the pressure in his chest release as soon as Felix smiles. He’s really glad Felix isn’t upset that they haven’t hung out much lately, and it warms Seungmin’s heart knowing he’s made his best friend happy.

Come Saturday, Seungmin and Felix are dropped off at the party by Felix’s mom, who reminds them to stay safe and don’t do anything stupid. Seungmin stays attached to Felix as they head in, already cringing at the loud music.

“I need a drink,” Felix immediately announces, to which Seungmin rolls his eyes and follows him into the kitchen. Felix pours himself a beer while Seungmin takes a Coke for himself.

“How can you even drink that stuff?” Seungmin wrinkles his nose. “Beer literally tastes like piss, and it takes too much to even get drunk, so what’s the point?”

“Hey, I’m trying not to get drunk tonight.”

“Oh?” Seungmin blinks in surprise. Usually Felix is quick to get at least tipsy during parties. 

Tonight though, Felix wraps an arm around Seungmin’s shoulder and laughs, “I want to spend time with my best friend. Maybe I’ll get a little buzzed to take the edge off, but I’ve barely seen you lately. We should have fun together.”

Seungmin feels guilt coil in the bottom of his stomach at Felix’s words. “Ah...I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Felix says easily, taking a swig of his drink. “I get that you’re busy sometimes. Hey, why don’t you drink with me? You’re actually fun when you’re drunk.”

Seungmin begs to differ. The first and only time he ever drank was in sophomore year when Felix brought over alcohol to his house on a weekend. Curious to see what it’s like to get drunk, Seungmin got quite wasted that night with his best friend. It was actually fun at first, everything seemed funny and his body felt warm and tingly in a good way. But the more he drank the more his head started to spin and the more his body heated up, until he felt like he was on fire. He threw up a lot that night, and the morning after. Not to mention the way his head felt like it was going to implode in on itself. 

After that, Seungmin decided never to drink again.

“I don’t think so,” Seungmin declines, sipping his Coke.

“Aw come on,” Felix whines. “I know you had a bad experience once but if you do it right it’s not so bad.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Fine,” Felix sighs. “But drunk Seungmin wouldn’t do me like this.”

Seungmin chuckles and they head back out into the living room where Felix immediately catches Jisung, walking over to him eagerly.

“Oh hey,” Jisung greets them both with a smile, raising a cup at them. “Seungmin, I haven’t seen you at one of these in a while.”

“Yeah…I came to give Felix some company.” 

“Hi,” another boy hanging onto Jisung’s arm says. Seungmin recognizes the long black hair and eyes bent into little crescents as Hwang Hyunjin. Seungmin doesn’t know him all that well, but from what he remembers, the boy is incredibly sweet and friendly. “You remember me right?”

“Yeah, of course, Hyunjin,” Seungmin smiles back. 

Hyunjin giggles, and by the red flush in his cheeks and the way he’s swaying a little on his feet alerts Seungmin that the boy is definitely tipsy.

“He’s a bit of a lightweight,” Jisung snickers and pats Hyunjin’s arm as the taller pouts. 

“Seungmin refuses to drink, the prude,” Felix rolls his eyes as he sips his drink.

“That’s not even what prude means.”

“You’re still a prude.”

Seungmin bites back a comment on how he is not a prude and is in fact probably much more experienced than Felix at this point, but decides that’s not the best idea. He feels bad for keeping Changbin a secret from his best friend but Felix would never let him live that down knowing their history. 

“Oh come on, you can have fun without alcohol,” Hyunjin interjects. 

“Wish you’d take your own advice,” Jisung mutters pointedly, barely able to handle the taller’s weight on his shoulder.

If Hyunjin hears him, he ignores it. “You can dance!”

“No,” Seungmin immediately says.

“Oh my god, Seungmin,” Felix groans. “This is a party. You’re supposed to have fun.”

“Yeah! Come on!” Hyunjin takes Seungmin’s wrist and begins trying to drag him to the middle of the room where people are mingling.

“I-” Seungmin tries to protest but Hyunjin is surprisingly strong for someone so lanky. Jisung and Felix are of no help at all, watching on in amusement. “You guys suck.”

Hyunjin, not paying much attention to Seungmin’s discomfort manages to pull him right into the throng of people. Hyunjin laughs and starts moving while Seungmin just stands there dumbly. Judging by Hyunjin’s clumsy movements and dopey smile he’s definitely not as sober as Seungmin initially thought, and in fact beyond drunk. 

While Seungmin is distracted by Hyunjin, flinching and placing his hands out every time the boy teeters too far to one side, he’s completely startled by a pair of hands placing themselves on his waist. He jerks and turns to snap at whoever is touching him, any words dying on his lips when he sees who it is.

“Hi,” Changbin grins, hands squeezing his waist.

Seungmin blinks in confusion, “What are you doing here?”

“Changbin!” Hyunjin squeals excitedly, immediately throwing himself into Changbin’s arms. 

“Woah!” Changbin releases Seungmin just in time and grunts as he catches him. “Hello to you too.” Hyunjin hugs him a little too long, and Changbin peeks out from him to look at Seungmin, laughing a little. “He gets very clingy when he’s drunk.”

“I noticed. What are you doing here?” Seungmin repeats his question.

“Ah, I’m friends with the guy throwing the party. I didn’t realize you’d be here, thought you didn’t like parties.”

“I don’t-” Hyunjin finally detaches himself from Changbin as Seungmin speaks, his eyes going back and forth between them. “-but I wanted to spend time with Felix.”

Changbin nods and Hyunjin speaks up again, “Oh my gosh you two know each other? I thought Seungmin, like, hated you or something, Bin.”

Seungmin winces at Hyunjin’s words, everyone always seems to say this. But it’s true isn’t it? Or at least, it was. Now Seungmin is just unsure of his feelings towards Changbin.

Instead of acknowledging Hyunjin’s observation Changbin asks, “Where’s Jisung?”

“Over there with Felix,” Hyunjin points to where they came from. “Why?”

“Why don’t you go to Jisung and tell him I’m here and I’ll be over in a sec, okay?” Changbin smiles at Hyunjin, who blinks in confusion but happily heads over to Jisung anyways.

When he’s gone Changbin turns to Seungmin, his lips turning upward in a soft smile. “Did Hyunjin drag you out here to dance?” Seungmin nods and Changbin chuckles, “He likes to dance. He’s actually amazing, but when he’s drunk he just kinda flops his limbs around.”

Seungmin laughs at that, “Yeah, I don’t dance but he was enthusiastic to get me out here.”

Changbin tips his head, his smile turning into that famous flirty grin and arms looping around Seungmin’s torso. “You can always dance with me.”

“I already told you, I don’t dance.” Seungmin shakes his head and leans away, but not entirely.

“Shame...You’re really good at moving your hips.” Changbin shrugs and Seungmin splutters, caught completely off guard by the comment. 

Seungmin tries to control the flush in his cheeks, trying not to let Changbin’s words affect him. “I don’t dance,” he repeats weakly.

Changbin just pulls their bodies closer, his smirk growing. “You sure? Not even with me?”

Seungmin’s throat feels too dry to respond, his eyes instinctively lowering to Changbin’s lips. Changbin leans in, but doesn’t connect their lips, instead murmuring into Seungmin’s ear, “You look good tonight.”

“T-Thanks,” Seungmin stutters, his entire face flushing. Then, he gently pushes Changbin away. “But really, I don’t dance.”

Changbin leans back and nods his head toward where Felix, Jisung, and Hyunjin are hanging out. “Wanna head over to them?” At Seungmin’s nod, they head over to the others, Jisung brightening when he sees Changbin. 

“Hey! Hyunjin said he saw you,” Jisung greets him with a hug.

“You gave him water right? He’s really bad at handling his alcohol,” Changbin says with a hint of concern.

Hyunjin is quick to reassure him from his spot beside Jisung, “I’m fine, Binnie. You should get a drink too.”

Changbin looks like he debates it for a minute but turns it down, “Nah, not tonight.”

“Boo,” Felix gives him a thumbs down before taking a sip of his own drink. “You and Seungmin are no fun. I wanna play beer pong.”

“I’ll play with you!” Jisung immediately jumps at the idea. 

After gathering cups and arranging them on the island in the kitchen they start playing. Seungmin leans against one of the kitchen counters and watches amusingly as Felix and Jisung go at it. A small crowd starts to gather as the game heats up, more alcohol being poured and the room buzzing with energy.

Seungmin is honestly content watching them play and talking to a few other of his friends as they pass in the kitchen, even striking up a conversation with a buzzed Hyunjin. He’s actually pretty cute when he’s drunk, a little clingy but Seungmin doesn’t tell him off for it, afraid that if he lets go of Hyunjin the taller might fall. 

When Hyunjin wanders off after seeing one of his friends Seungmin is a little surprised when someone else takes his place. He isn’t as surprised when he sees Changbin is the person that took that place.

Changbin leans in close, his lips just barely brushing against Seungmin’s ear as he whispers, “Wanna get out of here?”

Seungmin’s stomach dips and he bites his lower lip, watching Felix, who is very into the match between him and Jisuns, unaware of the events unfolding meters away. They can do this quickly. Felix won’t even know he’s gone by the time Seungmin gets back. 

Seungmin nods and Changbin takes him by the hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and into a hallway where Changbin knocks on a door, hesitating before opening it and peeking inside to make sure no one else is. As soon as they’re sure it’s clear, Changbin opens the door all the way, allowing Seungmin inside. He shuts it and locks it, while Seungmin makes quick work of unbuttoning his own shirt and shrugging it off.

Seungmin kisses Changbin eagerly, pulling him towards the bed and only breaking apart to pull his shirt over his head. When the backs of Seungmin’s legs hit the bed Changbin picks him up and sets him gently down onto the mattress.

Seungmin shudders, and Changbin has to know the effect his random displays of strength have on Seungmin. He picks up Seungmin too often nowadays for him to not know.

Changbin brushes Seungmin’s bangs out of his eyes, a sweet gesture that has Seungmin distracted before Changbin grinds down onto him, catching him off guard. Changbin moves his hips slowly but in just the perfect way at the perfect angle that drives Seungmin insane. Seungmin moans and digs his nails into Changbin’s back, his head falling back onto the bed. 

Changbin takes the opportunity to attach his lips to Seungmin’s exposed neck, sucking a dark bruise into his skin. Seungmin squirms under him, grinding his hips upwards to meet Changbin’s. 

“We need to hurry,” Seungmin gasps. “Before they notice we’re gone.” 

Changbin nods, reaching down between them to undo Seungmin’s jeans. He pulls them off along with Seungmin’s boxers, discarding them off to the side and wrapping his fingers around Seungmin. His thumb swipes over Seungmin’s slit, spreading the precum leaking across him to slick him up and teasing the head. Changbin presses kisses to Seungmin’s shaky thighs, taking his sweet time nipping and sucking at them. 

Seungmin squirms, whispering out a small, “ Please,” before Changbin finally leans up and wraps his mouth around Seungmin.

The first time Seungmin had gotten blown was absolute heaven. He’d practically almost cried from how good it felt, cumming in Changbin’s mouth in an embarrassing amount of time. Each time afterward felt like the first, Seungmin completely forgetting how amazing it is to have Changbin’s mouth wrapped around him until he does it again. 

Seungmin’s hands curl into the sheets as Changbin envelops him completely, flattening his tongue while bobbing his head up and down. He can feel Changbin’s eyes on him as he works, completely focused on watching Seungmin’s every reaction. He tries to keep himself together, but Changbin is watching him so intently. It both embarrasses Seungmin and turns him on further, having Changbin watching him so hungrily as he gets the younger off with his mouth.

He works Seungmin’s sensitive head and suctions his cheeks, creating an intense pressure that has Seungmin trembling and moaning with little restraint anymore. Every stroke of Changbin’s tongue drives him further and further to the edge, and Seungmin gets a little louder, his sense of control gone. He can’t help it. Having the heat of Changbin’s mouth and his tongue working so expertly on him swirling around his head has him close far too quickly. 

He can’t stay still, trembling and writhing under Changbin, noises slipping past his lips no matter how hard he tries to hold them back. Changbin reaches up with one hand and pushes his hips down, stilling Seungmin’s movements. Seungmin moans embarrassingly loud at that, feeling startlingly weak under Changbin’s single hand holding him down.

Seungmin catches a glimpse of Changbin in front of him, the shorter’s lips red and swollen while all wrapped around him. His eyes are closed now, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration, looking completely focused on making Seungmin feel good. It’s when Changbin starts moaning around him that Seungmin notices the way the bed is creaking, and he inhales sharply when he leans to one side to see Changbin with a hand down his pants, hips grinding into his own hand. 

The realization that Changbin is getting off to blowing Seungmin is what finally sends the younger over the edge, his hips thrusting upward uncontrollably-even past Changbin holding him down-and fucking into the elder’s mouth. He whimpers out Changbin’s name as he cums down the elder’s throat, his back arching off the bed. Changbin makes a strangled noise and for a second Seungmin panics thinking he hurt him, but then notices his own hips are stuttering, meaning he’s cumming as well. 

Changbin pulls off, strings of spit and cum collecting along his mouth. It’s fucking obscene but Changbin looks so fucking amazing with his glossy, plump lips parted, and spit falling from his mouth. His chest rises and falls rapidly, trying to collect his breath as he stares at Seungmin.

He leans forward, tongue swiping across his lips to clean the excess spit before pressing a kiss to Seungmin’s tummy. He leaves a trail of kisses along Seungmin’s stomach and chest, his hand coming up and tracing patterns into the soft skin. Seungmin closes his eyes and sighs in content, threading his fingers through Changbin’s hair and running through it gently. 

When Changbin reaches Seungmin’s neck, he suddenly whispers, “You’re gorgeous.”

Seungmin starts at the sudden compliment, his eyes opening and face flushing. “T-Thank you.” Changbin laughs into his neck and Seungmin squirms. “Careful, I’m ticklish.”

“Aw, you are?” Changbin leans back and smiles. “Cute.”

Seungmin doesn’t respond and Changbin dives back down again, pressing gentle kisses all along the skin anywhere and everywhere. He kisses Seungmin’s neck, his chest, his thighs, nipping and sucking dark marks into Seungmin’s skin wherever he can reach. Seungmin trembles under Changbin’s lips, goosebumps igniting everywhere his mouth travels, skin burning. 

“You’re so pretty like this,” Changbin murmurs into his skin.

Seungmin exhales shakily at the soft praise, hand clutching Changbin’s hair tightly. He lets Changbin’s lips abuse his skin, whispering praises about how beautiful he is all along the way, closing his eyes and drinking it in, basking in it. After a few minutes he clears his head and gently tugs at Changbin’s hair, signaling him to pull away despite the desire clouding in Seungmin’s mind screaming at him not to.

“I need to get back out there before Felix notices I’m gone.”

“Okay,” Changbin says easily, leaning up pressing a quick kiss to Seungmin’s lips. “I need to go clean myself up. You okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Seungmin reassures him before climbing off the bed to retrieve his clothes. 

He’s quick to pull everything back on, brushing back his hair and making sure he’s decent. He peeks out of the room, glad to find the hallway clear as he slips out to find Felix again. He goes back into the kitchen and is confused when he realizes the game has already finished without him, two girl seniors replacing Jisung and Felix’s spot at the table. Seungmin turns on his heel and goes into the living room, searching for Felix through the crowd.

“Seungmin,” a familiar deep voice makes him jump.

Seungmin turns and laughs, “Oh, there you are Felix! I was just-”

“Where have you been?” Felix asks, and it’s then that Seungmin registers the hurt and betrayed look on his face.

Seungmin frowns, not understanding why Felix looks so hurt. What could’ve happened while he was gone? 

“I-I was-” 

“What? Hooking up with someone?” Felix taps a spot on Seungmin’s neck. Damn it. Changbin must’ve left a noticeable mark. “You said we would spend the whole time together, but as soon as you got the opportunity you snuck off without me. Why?”

“It’s not like that, Lix-” Seungmin tries.

“Then what is it?” Felix scoffs, crossing his arms. “I ignored it at first because I know sometimes you’re going to spend time with other people, I know you have other friends and I respect that, I really do. I just don’t understand why you keep lying and blowing me off everytime I try to hang out with you.” Seungmin opens and closes his mouth a few times, but nothing ever comes out, so Felix continues. “If you don’t want to hang out with me anymore, just say it.”

“What?” Seungmin laughs at the incredulousness of it all, not believing Felix is saying such a thing. “That’s not what it is, Felix!”

“I just don’t get it.” Felix shakes his head. “I know you can be busy, but you never text anymore, you stopped riding home with me, you’re all distracted during class...You’ve completely cut me off from your life and I just want to know why. It just...It just feels like you don’t even like me anymore. Like I’m not worth the effort to make time for.”

“I-I don’t-” Seungmin stutters, the genuine hurt in his best friend’s eyes and the realization of how right Felix is making him feel guilty and weak. 

“What? You don’t what?” Felix doesn’t raise his voice once. It’s not anger, it’s just raw betrayal and disappointment. “I don’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t even want to make an effort in our relationship anymore.”

“Felix, wait,”  Seungmin pleads, stepping forward and grabbing onto Felix’s arm. “Please. I didn’t mean to-”

“Then tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” Felix demands. Silence. Nothing but silence hangs between them. Seungmin doesn’t want to admit it. Doesn’t want to admit that he’s been putting off his own best friend to hook up with someone he’s not even friends with. He doesn’t want to admit how badly he fucked up. Felix turns away, tearing his arm from Seungmin’s grasp. “That’s what I thought.”

Hot tears gather in Seungmin’s eyes, blurring his vision as he watches Felix walk away. Seungmin curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his middle as the tears begin to drip down his cheeks.

“Seungmin?” a soft voice approaches him. Seungmin doesn’t look up, feeling vulnerable. Changbin is in front of him, staring at him with concerned eyes. “Seungmin…Are you okay?”

Seungmin doesn’t respond for a long moment, wiping the tears from his eyes and swallowing the lump in his throat. “I want to go home,” he whispers.

Changbin places a gentle hand on Seungmin’s arm. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

Seungmin doesn’t have it in him to argue, allowing Changbin to guide him outside to the elder’s car. The car ride home is silent, nothing but Seungmin’s quiet sniffles filling the space between them.

If Changbin heard the argument, he doesn’t say anything. If he didn’t, he doesn’t ask, which Seungmin is incredibly grateful for. He’s embarrassed enough crying in front of Changbin, he’s sure that if he had to share the argument he'd only break down in front of the elder further.

Seungmin hangs his head as he thinks about the hurt look in his best friend’s eyes, his mind replaying Felix’s words like a broken record in his head. Felix really believes Seungmin doesn’t like him anymore. Seungmin did that to his best friend.

When they reach Seungmin’s house, Changbin hesitates, turning to Seungmin. Seungmin doesn’t meet his stare, blatantly staring out the window, but still waiting for him to say what he wants to say.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asks softly.

“Peachy,” Seungmin responds stiffly, wiping his eyes. It doesn’t work, his eyes immediately filling back up with tears. 

“I…” Changbin trails off, seeming unsure of his next words. “I’m sorry. About what happened. I was taking up all your time and I-”

Seungmin cuts him off, “It’s not your fault.” He looks down in his lap, playing idly with his fingers. “Felix was right. I wasn’t making an effort to spend time with him when I should’ve.” 

Changbin remains patiently silent until Seungmin sighs and unbuckles himself. “Goodnight,” Changbin says as Seungmin opens the door.

Seungmin pauses before turning to Changbin, the elder wearing a small smile with soft concern. He doesn’t smile back, doesn’t have the energy to. He nods, not trusting his voice as he swallows the thick lump in his throat, and leaves.

-

It isn’t a good night for Seungmin. He gets no sleep, tossing and turning restlessly, unable to keep his mind off his argument with Felix. Felix and him never argue, at least not so seriously. 

Seungmin wakes up with crusty eyes and a tear stained pillow, unknowing of what to do about his relationship. He spends his entire Sunday sulking, staring at his messages under Felix’s contact. He tries to think of something, anything to say, but can’t. He decides to give Felix space, knowing his best friend deserves to cool down and spend time without Seungmin intruding.

Come Monday, Seungmin and Felix pass each other wordlessly in the hallway, still not speaking, even during class. Felix sits beside Hyunjin during one of their shared classes, and the other, with Jisung. Jisung glances over at Seungmin somewhat apologetically, but the taller just shakes his head. Felix deserves his space.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

When Seungmin slips into Changbin’s car after school with a defeated sigh, Changbin gives him a soft but concerned look that he chooses to ignore. Changbin, sensing that Seungmin doesn’t want to talk, turns on the radio and starts the car. Seungmin stays silent, trapped in his own head as he watches other cars pass by.

Suddenly, Changbin takes a turn that he doesn’t normally take, and Seungmin sits up. “Hey, you went the wrong way.”

“No, we’re going somewhere else,” Changbin says, taking another unfamiliar turn.

“Where?” 

“You’ll see,” is all Seungmin gets in response.

Interest piqued, Seungmin blinks and tries to figure out where Changbin is going, to no avail. Only when Changbin slows to a stop does he realizes the elder has driven him to a large park. Kids run in the field playing various sports, a few families are having picnics, and a large, colorful playground looms in front of the car. 

Changbin sends Seungmin a smile and shuts off the car, stepping out as Seungmin follows. The air is sweet now that it’s given way to true spring, the sky a delicate blue and the sun shining warmly on Seungmin’s face. 

Vaguely, he thinks about how Felix would love this. The boy loves to go outside often, his freckles a permanent mark for his love of the sun.

“It’s a nice day out, so I thought we’d come here for a little bit,” Changbin says, shattering Seungmin’s thoughts. “Is that alright?”

Seungmin nods and glances around, unsure of where to go first. As if Changbin can read his thoughts, he steps forward and gently pulls Seungmin along with him by the wrist. Seungmin allows himself to be pulled along, Changbin setting a leisurely pace as they walk around the park. 

The mixture of the warm sun on Seungmin’s back and the cool breeze singing in his ears has Seungmin feeling like he’s in heaven. It’s peaceful in the park, the only sounds are the whispering of the branches in the trees overhead and the occasional spirited chatter and laughter from passing people. It puts Seungmin at ease, simply walking and enjoying the feeling of being outside along with Changbin, no words needing to be exchanged between them.

A ball kicked in their direction has them both pausing in their walk, Changbin bending down and picking it up. He blinks over at a group of kids running over to him expectantly.

“Sorry!” one of them apologizes. 

“Can you toss it back?” another yells.

Changbin laughs and tosses it in the air before kicking it with the inside of his foot, successfully shooting it toward the kids who shout their thanks before running off again.

“Do you play?” Seungmin asks, somewhat impressed by the kick.

Changbin shrugs. “I played a little with my older brother when we were younger, but not professionally or anything.”

“I played baseball for a long time,” Seungmin says absentmindedly. “I was actually really good at it too. Started when I was seven and played up until last year when work and the student council got too much.”

“Really?” Changbin sounds surprised. “You don’t seem like the athletic type.”

Seungmin finds himself snorting, “Every time I say something you say I don’t seem like it, so what do I seem like to you?”

Changbin laughs, but it sounds somewhat awkward. “I don’t know. I just didn’t know you that well before, it’s nice to learn new things about you, though. You surprise me.”

Seungmin thinks for a long moment, staring at Changbin’s sharp side profile as they continue walking. “Yeah,” he eventually says evenly. “You surprise me too.”

Changbin gives him a quizzing look, looking like he’s about to say something until his gaze catches onto something else. His eyes widen and he gasps, pointing Seungmin over to a mini ice cream bar. 

“You want some?” Changbin asks, but judging by his excited, fidgety nature Seungmin knows he’s going to go over regardless. 

Seungmin nods and Changbin goes over to the guy with the cart and picks a chocolate crunch bar for himself. Seungmin eyes an orange creamsicle, deciding to indulge himself since he had such a bad day. 

Suddenly, he freezes with his hand in the cooler, frowning. “I don’t have my wallet,” he admits to Changbin, pulling his hand out empty.

Changbin shrugs. “I was going to pay anyway,” he says with a smile, handing the guy enough money for two bars. 

Seungmin blinks as Changbin pulls the creamsicle out for him. “I-I can’t just let you pay for me. At least let me pay you back later.”

“Think of it as my treat,” Changbin reassures him, slipping the frosty treat into Seungmin’s hand. 

Seungmin feels his stomach suddenly flip at the kind gesture. Confusion clouds Seungmin’s thoughts, but he pushes the strange feeling away as they continue their walk. They both rip open their ice creams and toss it into a trash can as they pass, sucking mindlessly on it. 

Changbin turns to Seungmin a few minutes and half an ice cream bar later to ask, “Is it good?”

Seungmin pops the bar out of his mouth to respond with a quick, “Yeah.”

“Good...I meant it when I said you don’t have to pay me back. It’s just a little treat, it didn’t even cost much.”

“It’s not about the money,” Seungmin shakes his head. “It’s more about...the fact that you went out of your way to do something nice for me. It’s like...I owe you.”

Changbin frowns. “Well don’t think of it that way. It’s okay to do something nice for people just to be nice, and it’s okay to accept something from someone who just wants to be nice too. Not because you owe anyone anything.”

“I know what you’re doing,” Seungmin sighs, realization dawning upon him when it should’ve come much earlier.

“What?”

“You’re trying to cheer me up because of my fight with Felix,” Seungmin whispers before sucking the soft cream from a broken spot in his ice cream.

“And if I was?” Changbin tips his head, finishing off the last bit of his own ice cream before tossing it in a passing trash can. “What’s so wrong about that?”

“I don’t know I just…” Seungmin trails off, eyes training on the grass at their feet. “I don’t want to be pitied.”

“I swear it’s not like that, Seungmin. Everyone has fights with their best friends, I wanted to cheer you up because I know it sucks. Hyunjin and I had a nasty fight early in junior year and we didn’t talk for almost two weeks, and I was miserable. I didn’t have a best friend to lean on when problems arose because my best friend was the problem. I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Changbin stops his babbling and turns to Seungmin, his expression serious. “When this stuff happens, it’s good to have a friend to lean on because your main one isn’t there. Whether it be silently supporting you when you’re upset, cheering you up, or giving advice on how to help, a friend is really important to have.”

Seungmin stops in his tracks, dumbfounded by Changbin’s words. “And you…want to be that friend?”

“If you’ll let me, yeah. I’ll be whatever kind of friend you need.” Seungmin’s chest feels funny again. Changbin offering to be there for him and even considering himself Seungmin’s friend catches the taller off guard, but not in a bad way. Suddenly, Seungmin’s eyes are prickling, tears blurring his vision. He feels overwhelmed, the elder’s sweetness and the realization that he doesn’t have Felix anymore making him feel too many emotions at once. Changbin gasps and steps forward, “Wait, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I-”

“It’s okay, it’s not you,” Seungmin whispers, his voice trembling slightly. “I just...Thank you. I…” Seungmin trails off, wondering if he should say what he’s thinking. He decides Changbin deserves to hear it. “...I really appreciate it.”

Changbin’s hands carefully come up to cup Seungmin’s face. Seungmin stares at him, half expecting Changbin to kiss him. Instead, he brushes his thumbs across Seungmin’s cheeks, gently wiping the tears slipping down his skin. It’s an intimate gesture that somehow affects Seungmin more than anything Changbin’s ever done.

“I’m here for you, yeah?” Changbin reassures him softly.

Seungmin’s heart pounds at the sincerity and softness in Changbin’s voice and gaze. He doesn’t know why, but Changbin is here for him, and it makes Seungmin feel safe and warm. Someone is here for him, and for some reason, Seungmin is glad it’s Changbin. 

To his disappointment, Changbin pulls away, letting go of his face. Seungmin’s stomach lurches however, when Changbin reaches down between them and laces their fingers together, holding onto Seungmin’s hand warmly, his thumb caressing the younger’s hand.

There’s no way this turns him on. His stomach only flips when Changbin does something that turns him on, not something so innocent like holding hands . No...this stomach flip is different. The warmth spreading through Seungmin’s chest all the way to his cheeks is different.

What in the world is it?

He thrusts his weird feelings down as they continue walking, finishing his ice cream and wiping his dried tears. 

“You know, you can’t fight forever,” Changbin says quietly after a long minute of silence.

“I know. I just...I don’t know what to say or do. We’ve never fought like this before.”

“Apologies are great, but you need to show him you’re sorry by changing your actions.” Changbin squeezes his hand comfortingly. 

Seungmin likes the feeling of Changbin’s slightly smaller hand in his. He’s warm and his hold seems to keep Seungmin grounded, a comforting feeling spreading goosebumps up his arm.

Honestly, what the hell is wrong with him today?

“I know,” he answers, ignoring the blush blooming across his cheeks. “I will. I need to give him space first though…I don’t want to push him.”

“Yeah. It’s best to let things cool down for a few days, then you can talk to him. At the end of the day though, you have to approach him first. You’re the one apologizing, not him.”

“Yeah.” Seungmin squeezes Changbin’s hand this time for his own comfort and Changbin responds by brushing his thumb over the younger’s knuckles again. The small gesture sends a shiver up Seungmin’s spine. It’s stupidly nice. 

They go quiet for a few minutes, hands hanging between them. It should be weird, but it isn’t. Seungmin holds hands with Felix sometimes, he supposes. And if he and Changbin are friends now...it’s not weird. 

Eventually they loop back around the park and reach the car again, Changbin releasing Seungmin’s hand, his fingers sliding slowly away and reaching out like they don’t want to leave Seungmin’s. Seungmin became so used to having Changbin’s hand in his own he feels cold without it. 

Still, he gets in the car without complaint. As Changbin turns on the car Seungmin stares out the window somewhat longingly. The park was so peaceful. An escape to Seungmin’s rather shitty day. He felt warm and cozy and he didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to go home and face the realities of school and his shattered friendship with his best friend. As the park moves out of sight, Seungmin’s eyes wander over to Changbin, who catches his gaze with a gentle smile. That’s when it hits him, along with a burst of warmth in his chest.

This is his escape. 

-

Days go by and Seungmin continues to give Felix the space he needs, and Felix makes no attempt to speak or even really look at him much. Not that Seungmin expected the freckled boy to approach him first, but it still hurts nonetheless. He decides on Friday that he’ll text Felix and let him come over Saturday so they can properly talk, and he can properly apologize. 

Changbin coaxes him as his fingers hover over the text message. Seungmin holds his breath before sending out a simple;

Seungmin: hey

He still holds his breath, knowing Felix is addicted to his phone and will check it immediately. There it is, the little bubbles.

Felix: Hi.

Yikes. Autocaps and a period, this isn’t looking good on Seungmin’s end. 

Seungmin: can we talk? in person?

Read, 4:37PM

A minute passes. Then another. Then another. Five minutes pass, and not even a bubble appears. Seungmin deflates. He’s been left on read.

“I guess he doesn’t want to talk right now,” he mutters, locking his phone and biting on his lower lip to stop it from quivering.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Changbin rubs his back soothingly. “He probably just needs a little more time and space.”

But Seungmin isn’t convinced. Felix is always so quick to forgive his other friends, sometimes a little too quick and it ends up backfiring on his end. Seungmin reprimands it for him often, he shouldn’t forgive people when they fuck up multiple times or just that badly the first time. Maybe Felix finally got tired of his “friends” taking advantage of his poor forgiving heart and finally took Seungmin’s advice.

Seungmin sighs when he feels Changbin’s strong arms wrap around his middle from behind, pulling him in between his legs. Seungmin instinctively leans back against his chest and absentmindedly starts playing with Chanbin’s fingers. 

He vaguely remembers Changbin’s promise from a few days ago, to be whatever friend Seungmin needs. So far Changbin keeps up on his promise, giving advice when Seungmin needs it, and simply comforting him other times, like now. 

Seungmin leans his head back and twists it to the side, blinking up at Changbin. He wants a new type of comfort now, to lose himself in Changbin again, even if only for a minute.

A sudden need spills into him, and Seungmin presses open mouthed kisses to Changbin’s jaw, the elder shuddering and then pulling away to peer down at Seungmin. “What are you doing?”

“Want you,” is Seungmin’s quiet response. He leans forward and presses his lips against Changbin’s. 

Changbin’s hands slide through his hair, tugging gently at the loose strands as they kiss. Seungmin pulls away slightly to twist around completely in Changbin’s lap, settling his arms on either side of Changbin’s neck. As soon as he’s seated comfortably in between Changbin’s legs he connects their lips again. He tugs at Changbin’s bottom lip with his teeth, eliciting a small groan from the elder. He smiles into the kiss at the noise and slides one leg over one of Chsngbin’s thighs. 

He presses his lips against Changbin’s ear while settling further down until he’s pressed up against the elder’s firm thigh at just the right angle. He lets out a breathy moan purposefully in the elder’s ear, letting the sound drive him insane. He knows Changbin loves it when he’s vocal, and he’s ready to put on a show.

“Wanna ride your thigh,” Seungmin breathes, listening to the way Changbin sucks in a breath. “Can I do that?”

“Y-Yes.” It’s barely audible, if Seungmin weren’t hyper aware of his environment he probably wouldn’t have heard it. “Please.”

Seungmin leans back, hands running down his own body as he takes a hold of his shirt and pulls it up. Changbin watches with dark eyes as Seungmin undresses himself before him. Seungmin realized not too long ago that he loves it when Changbin watches him. He loves the way Changbin’s gaze hungrily slides across his body, like he’s something to be devoured. Changbin always looks at him like he’s the most beautiful thing in the world, captivated by Seungmin, and Seungmin thrives off how powerful he feels knowing he has Changbin wrapped around his finger. 

Seungmin leans forward again, canting his hips forward and letting his lips part and near silent moans fall from his lips into Changbin’s ear. He positions to roll his hips again again, closing his eyes and-

Ding dong.

Seungmin’s eyes snap open. “Who the fuck is ringing my doorbell right now, of all times?”

Changbin lets out an airy laugh, though he’s still got a slightly hazy, far away look in his eyes. “Watch it be the neighborhood baptist group or something,” he jokes. 

Seungmin whines and leans his forehead against Changbin’s shoulder. “You think if we do this loud enough they’ll hear and just leave?” The doorbell rings again, and again a few times after that again obnoxiously and Seungmin groans and finally moves off his place in Changbin’s lap. “Oh, for the love of-”

Changbin snorts and Seungmin throws an oversized sweater on to cover his obvious boner. The mysterious door person continuously rings his doorbell, driving the boy absolutely insane. Seungmin, horny and annoyed, stomps to the front door and practically throws it open, opening his mouth to snap at the person to leave his fucking doorbell alone so he can ride his hot friend’s thigh in peace. 

All words die on his lips, his exasperated bubble popping when he recognizes the doe-like innocent eyes and freckles splattered across puffy cheeks. “...Felix?”

“Sorry,” Felix laughs a little nervously. “You were taking a while to come out so I thought you were napping. Guess I was right,” he ruffles Seungmin’s messy hair.

“Sure,” Seungmin says dumbly, discreetly pulling his sweatshirt down to make sure it’s fully covering himself. If Felix wants to believe he was napping then he can believe that. “But um, what are you doing here?”

“You said you wanted to talk…” Felix blinks as slowly as his voice. “...in person.”

“You never responded! You left me on read. I thought-” Seungmin shakes his head. “I meant for you to come tomorrow.”

“Well, I’m here now. Do you still want to talk?” Felix steps forward like he’s going to walk inside, and without thinking, Seungmin sidesteps in front of him, blocking the entrance. Felix stares at him, his lips turning downward in disappointment. “Seungmin?”

“I-It’s not like that,” Seungmin is quick to say. “Please, let me explain.”

Felix is silent for a long moment before he nods, crossing his arms. “This better be good.”

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin begins. “I’m sorry for blowing you off and sneaking off when I promised I’d spend the night with you. I swear, it’s not because I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

“If it’s not that, then why? Why do you keep lying and keeping things from me?”

Seungmin closes his eyes. Felix deserves the truth. He needs to make it up to his best friend.

“You remember that party we went to back in February, when you got high with Jisung?” Seungmin says, opening his eyes to meet Felix’s gaze. 

“Yeah? What’s that gotta do with-”

“I hooked up with Changbin at the party,” Seungmin blurts.

Felix’s mouth falls open. “You- What? Changbin? As in Seo Changbin? As in, the guy you hate?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin admits quietly. “And since then we...we’ve been hooking up regularly. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Oh my god…” Felix’s eyes are wide.

“I’m sorry for not telling you and blowing you off for him. I shouldn’t have hidden it from you and I should’ve at least made some time for you instead of lying and blowing you off. You’re my best friend, and you deserve the truth. I’m really sorry for making you feel like I didn’t want to hang out with you, I promise I’ll make time for you in the future.”

Felix is silent. Seungmin’s heart pounds erratically in his chest after his speech. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Felix doesn’t forgive him. His best friend, his rock, his-

“So...you’ve been blowing me off...to blow Changbin?” Felix looks amused, his eyebrows raised and a smile creeping onto his face. 

“Well-I-”

“I can’t believe it...you blew me off...for dick appointments.” Felix laughs, his eyes disappearing and head tipping back. Seungmin feels himself slowly go red from shame and embarrassment. He lets Felix laugh, he deserves it. “Here I was all this time thinking you were a prude when you’ve been getting dicked down behind my back? Seungmin you horny bastard!”

Felix practically doubles over in laughter as Seungmin watches, utterly confused and somewhat concerned by his best friend’s strange reaction. “I don’t-” he stutters, not really knowing what to say. “Are you still mad?”

Felix finally seems to call down, wiping tears as his laughter dies down. “Well, yes and no,” he eventually sighs. “I get why you didn’t tell me about it, because it isn’t my business to know who you’re fucking around with, but I am still a little sad you blew me off all this time. I get if we spent less time together but...we stopped talking altogether. It made me feel like you didn’t like me anymore. And to be honest...I really missed you.”

Seungmin feels his heart crack in his chest at Felix’s last words. “I missed you too. And your feelings are valid, I wasn’t a good friend by cutting you off when you made an effort to stay in touch. I promise I’ll make more time in the future for you.” 

“I know you will,” Felix smiles again, radiant as ever. 

“So we’re okay?” Seungmin asks in a small but hopeful voice. Felix opens his arms and Seungmin practically throws himself in them, smiling into Felix’s neck. Felix’s hand comes up to gently pet Seungmin’s hair, a common habit the older boy has. “I’m really glad we’re okay,” Seungmin whispers.

“Yeah, me too,” Felix murmurs in return before pulling away. He raises his eyebrow and his serious face is replaced with a smirk. “So...you and Changbin, huh?”

Seungmin groans, “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d be weird about it.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet!” Felix protests.

“Yeah but I know you will.”

“Well of course I’m going to be somewhat curious, you hate Changbin! Why hook up with someone you hate?” 

“I dunno, he’s not exactly bad looking,” Seungmin shrugs. “Plus, I don’t hate him anymore. We’re friends now.”

“You’re friends with him?!” Felix gasps.

“Why is that more shocking than us hooking up?” 

“Well the sexual tension was always there,” Felix sniffs. “But friends? Sounds a little fishy to me.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Well, it’s true. He’s not as bad as I initially thought.”

“I’ve only been telling you that for years,” Felix scoffs and crosses his arms. “But no, who listens to me anyway ? It takes you getting dicked down to finally see it. Which, by the way, I am so proud of you. Getting dick from one of the hottest guys in our school. They grow up so fast,” Felix wipes mock tears from his eyes. 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Let me be proud that you’re getting some action for once. And on a regular basis... He’s here right now isn’t he?” When Seungmin doesn’t respond, he bursts into a laughing fit yet again. “Of course he is. That’s why it was taking you forever to answer the door….and why you looked so angry when you opened it. Did I cockblock you?”

“Yeah, a little,” Seungmin mutters. “But it’s fine. Fixing our friendship was important.”

“Aw, I’m glad you choose me over sex.”

“Woah!” Seungmin is quick to raise his hands and wave them around in protest. “We haven’t gone that far.”

“Seriously? You’ve been hooking up with Changbin for over two months now and you haven’t let him fuck you?”!

“Gah,” Seungmin groans and covers his face to hide the way it’s going red. “I haven’t even thought about going all the way.”

“Are you scared?” Felix asks genuinely, looking sympathetic rather than joking around or mocking him for once.

“I don’t know. It just...hasn’t come up,” is Seungmin’s response, which isn’t a lie. It really hasn’t been something he’s ever thought about, at least with Changbin.

He glances back inside the house, suddenly wondering if Changbin is still waiting patiently for him. He hesitates on leaving though, not wanting to make it seem like he’s blowing Felix off again.

“You wanna go back to him? I don’t mind now, you were with him first,” Felix says kindly, and honestly? Seungmin doesn’t deserve him. 

Feeling bad for leaving his friend again, he offers, “Why don’t you come inside with us?”

Felix’s eyes widen. “Are you asking me to join-”

“No! No! No!” Seungmin slaps his best friend a few times on the chest. “None of that! Get your head out of the gutter. I’m offering to hang out.”

“Ah okay,” Felix laughs. “Yeah, I haven’t hung out with Changbin in a while...or you, really.” Seungmin cringes at that. “But yeah I’ll hang out. As for the joining you thing, you know I’m not opposed to-”

“Please.” Seungmin raises a hand to cover Felix’s mouth. “Please. Shut up.” Felix giggles and follows him inside, kicking his shoes off by the front. Seungmin closes the door and telling him to wait outside while he goes to his room. 

Seungmin opens the door, peeking into the room. He’s met with Changbin on the bed, a hand down his pants and the bed creaking as hips thrust upward, moans falling from his lips. Changbin catches Seungmin’s gaze from across the room, his eyes dark.

“Seungmin…” he whimpers quietly. “Please.”

Seungmin gasps and shuts the door immediately, his face burning. Felix raises an eyebrow.

“What was that?” Felix asks, a knowing smirk growing on his face.

“Um. Absolutely nothing Felix!” Seungmin says loudly, hoping Changbin will hear and understand. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Is he seriously jacking off in there?” Felix asks incredulously.

“Hey, you cockblocked us !” 

Felix laughs loudly, doubling over and clapping his hands. While he’s in his laughing fit, the door creaks open, and a flushed Changbin peeks through. Upon seeing him, Felix only laughs harder, pointing at him.

“I um, didn’t know he was here,” Changbin says awkwardly, coming out all the way. 

“Oh my god, how did I not notice before that he was stealing your clothes?” Felix gasps, pointing at Seungmin’s baby blue sweatshirt on Changbin, the older’s favorite item of clothing to steal. Changbin not-so-discreetly pulls the large hoodie over the tent in his pants. “You guys are actually disgusting.”

“Haha,” Seungmin says flatly. 

Felix throws an arm around Seungmin and smirks haughtily at a still flustered Changbin. “You know, Seungmin was just inviting me to come and join you two-”

Seungmin throws his friend’s arm off him while hissing, “Stop saying it like that!”

Changbin looks as red and embarrassed as Seungmin feels, playing with the sweater paws of Seungmin’s sweatshirt. “So…I’m guessing you two made up?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” Felix responds and is quick to hug the elder. “Good to see you, even if you stole my best friend from me.” When Changbin’s face slightly drains in color, Felix snorts, “That was a joke.”

“Oh,” Changbin laughs in relief, albeit a bit nervously. “Well, I’m glad you two are okay.”

“I’m just glad Seungmin is finally getting some action.” Felix nudges Seungmin teasingly.

Seungmin hides his face in his hands, immediately regretting bringing his best friend inside. “This was a mistake.”

“No,” Felix is quick to whine and pull Seungmin into the room. “Come on let’s all hang out. I haven’t hung out with either of you in ages.” 

Seungmin lets himself be pulled into the room and onto the bed by a giggling Felix. Felix holds Seungmin in his lap and strikes up a conversation with Changbin. They talk about anything and everything, even Felix’s obvious crush on Jisung. Felix mentions things are going well between him and Jisung since Seungmin bailed on him (the freckled boy coughed very loudly at that) and they had more time to bond.

“You should ask him out!” Changbin says excitedly. “I’m like, ninety percent sure he likes you back.”

“That ten percent seems a little risky.” Felix wrinkles his nose.

Changbin laughs at that. “You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

“Well...I’ll see.”

Seungmin feels a warm joy spread throughout his body as he spends time with his best friend and someone he’s really started to consider a close friend. Being able to be with both people that make him feel safe makes him happy beyond belief. He really thought he lost Felix for a minute there, and that was probably the scariest part of his life so far.

Eventually, Changbin leaves, leaving Felix and Seungmin alone sprawled on the bed as Felix declares he’s spending the night whether Seungmin wants him to or not. Seungmin complains, but on the inside, he’s happy to be spending time with Felix again. 

“So...Changbin,” Felix says after a long silence, his voice hinting at something.

Seungmin sends him a withering look. “What now?”

“You’re just friends, huh?”

Seungmin sits up at that. “What are you implying?”

“Oh come on Seungmin!” Felix sits up too and raises his hands. “I’ve known you since we were nine, and I know when you have a crush.”

Seungmin’s stomach plummets, and he blinks rapidly, making sure he’s hearing his best friend correctly. “What? You think I have a crush on Changbin?”

“No, I know you have a crush on Changbin.” Felix crosses his arms. 

“That’s ridiculous!” Seungmin protests. “We just became friends.”

“So?”

“So? What proof do you have?”

“You literally look at him like this-” Felix tips his head to the side, a common habit Seungmin has, and sets a dopey smile on his face. 

“I do not!” 

“Yes you do!” Felix sings. “I see the look in your eyes, Seungmin. You’re definitely whipped.”

“I just see him as a friend,” Seungmin mutters, turning away as his face begins heating up.

“Tell me, what changed your mind about him? I’m genuinely curious.” Felix rests his chin in his hand.

Seungmin sighs, “I don’t know. He was just always really sweet and considerate, even when I wasn’t exactly the nicest to him. You remember when I was really sick last month? He took me home and took care of me. Stayed with me while my mom wasn’t home and bought me medicine. He even came over the next day to make sure I was okay. And when you and I fought he was...again really kind and just took care of me,” Seungmin’s voice goes quiet as he recalls the sweet memories. “He took me to the park and bought me ice cream to cheer me up and said...he said if I needed a friend while you were gone he would be whatever friend I needed.”

Felix is watching him closely, but he doesn’t have that teasing look in his eyes anymore. “Yeah...Changbin’s actually a really thoughtful guy.”

“I never realized until now…” Seungmin nibbles on his lower lip. “But yeah...it was just…all those small things he would say and do for me. I realized he’s someone I consider a friend. Someone I’m really happy being around, even when we’re not hooking up. I enjoy just sitting in the same room as him, his presence is comforting and grounding.” 

“Sounds like you really admire him.”

Seungmin gives him a look, “It’s not like that, though. Yes, he’s a good friend, but I just feel comfortable around him. I feel comfortable around you too, I don’t have a crush on you.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” Felix runs a hand through his hair. “I am incredibly sexy.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “You’re annoying is what you are.”

“You love me,” Felix coos and wraps his arms around Seungmin’s waist, leaning into the taller. “I’m the one who encouraged you to get out more, and look where it got you! A new friend and a hookup, all thanks to your bestie.”

“Yeah, no. I’m pretty sure I got Changbin by myself.”

“I was like the devil on your shoulder. I brought you to the party, I’ve told you to get some dick for a while now, I’m pretty sure this is all thanks to me.” Felix points at himself and grins. “Speaking of, did you think about what I said? About going all the way?”

Seungmin goes red again. “No, I do not want to think about it.”

“Why? Look, clearly listening to me is what’s gotten you this far, and you’re doing great, and now I’m telling you this; Go all the way!”

“Felix, you’re a virgin,” Seungmin deadpans. Felix gasps and places a hand on his chest, wounded. “How do you even know if sex isn’t overhyped? Like, how good can it feel to stick something up your ass?”

“What, you’ve never fingered yourself before?”

Seungmin splutters, “No!”

“Oh my god, dude, you have to. I’m telling you right now, it does feel that good. I do it at least-”

“Stop, stop, stop, stop!” Seungmin presses a hand over Felix’s mouth. “I don’t want to hear about you fingering yourself.”

“Okay, okay. But I’m telling you, it feels amazing. If you do it right you can even cum without touching yourself.”

“I don’t believe you.” 

“It’s meant to feel good! What do you think the prostate is there for?” 

Seungmin scoffs, “Can you even reach your prostate with your tiny little baby hands?”

“Hey! The prostate is on average three to four centimeters inside your ass, my fingers are bigger than that!” Felix protests with a pout.

“...Does it really feel that good?” Seungmin finds himself asking, genuinely curious now. “Wouldn’t it like, hurt?”

“Just be patient with yourself. It’s a bit of a stretch and feels sort of weird at first, but once you get used to it, it feels really good. Just don’t go too fast and don’t do anything you feel like your body can’t handle. It’s easier the more turned on you are. If you do it right, you should be able to find your prostate and I swear, it’s like your whole body is on fire. I’ve never cum faster than the first time I found it.”

Seungmin looks away, wondering how it could possibly feel. Honestly, he’s been too scared to even think about it, and even if he wanted to, he doesn’t have the lube to do it. Now that Felix has brought it to his attention and says it feels that good, he’s undeniably curious. Especially if it’s so good one can cum untouched. Seungmin isn’t sure if he entirely believes Felix on that part, but he figures if Felix makes the exaggeration it can’t be as scary as it seems.

“I don’t have any lube or anything,” Seungmin mumbles. 

“You can get some at the convenience store.”

“I am not showing my face at the convenience store buying lube! That old woman that works there, Sua, she thinks I’m a sweetheart...I don’t want her to see me buying lube!”

“Seungmin you’re a grown adult. What you do with that lube isn’t her business. Besides, what’s she gonna do? Not let you buy it?” Felix snorts. 

“It’s just embarrassing.”

“God, if you’re gonna be bitchy about it I’ll buy it for you,” Felix offers. “Just give me some money and I’ll drop by tomorrow.”

“You’d really do that?” Seungmin asks hopefully. 

“Sure. I don’t mind.” Felix shrugs. “I buy it there at least once a month.”

“And there it is,” Seungmin sighs, already sick of his best friend again.

Felix laughs and Seungmin finds himself smiling back anyway. He’s just glad to have his best friend back.

-

Seungmin stares at the small bottle of lube for what feels like an eternity. Felix had dropped it off in the afternoon with an unnecessary wink and a ‘have fun.’ Seungmin had ignored it for a while, but now after showering and all of the people in his house retired to bed, his curiosity had grown. 

He’s nervous to say the least, afraid of doing something wrong and ending up hurting himself. Or maybe it won’t feel good at all and Seungmin will just feel dumb and weird. 

He just can’t stop thinking about what Felix said. How he described it like his whole body being on fire, and how it had been the fastest he ever came. It can’t feel that good...can it?

There’s really only one way to find out.

After waiting and checking to make sure everyone in the house is really asleep and his door is locked he lies on his bed, hand clutching the bottle tightly. He takes off his pajamas and slowly slips his boxers off, discarding them to the side and leaving himself fully exposed. He reaches down and sighs quietly as he wraps a hand around himself, stroking himself slowly. It’s easier the more turned on you are.

He uncaps the bottle, his hands shaking slightly as he pours a generous amount onto his pointer finger. When he’s satisfied, he closes the bottle and sets it to the side, using one hand to continue stroking himself while the other wanders lower and lower between his thighs. Seungmin chews on his bottom lip nervously, hesitating before carefully pressing his finger against his rim.

He gasps quietly as the cold liquid hits his sensitive hole, and he pulls away, shuddering. Cautiously, he presses against it again, circling his finger around the rim to desensitize it. He squirms a little, the feeling unfamiliar but not unpleasant. He tries to relax his body, and slowly, ever so slowly, he begins pushing the tip of his finger inside. 

He’s immediately met with resistance, his body pushing back against his finger. Once he finally manages to reach about one knuckle deep he stops, panting. It feels really weird. It’s really tight and uncomfortable. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s definitely not a pleasant feeling. 

Just be patient with yourself.

He tries to relax and draws in deep breaths. He slowly grows used to the feeling and carefully pushes his finger in deeper, exhaling shakily. He leaves it for a minute, letting his body stretch and get used to it, teasing the head of his cock as he waits. He spreads the precum that leaks out and whines quietly as he pumps himself faster, working himself to full hardness. He pulls his finger out of himself and slides it back in, surprised when it glides a bit easier than expected. He slides his finger in and out of himself a few times, the stretch not pleasurable yet, but not uncomfortable anymore. 

Seungmin pulls his finger out and takes the bottle of lube again, pouring a little more of the liquid and spreading it onto his middle finger. He circles his rim again before carefully pushing the beginning of two fingers inside, hissing sharply at the sudden stretch. He closes his eyes and forces himself to relax again, trying to think of things to distract himself.

His mind wanders back to Friday when Felix had interrupted him and Changbin mid hookup. He thinks about when he walked back in and found Changbin getting off without him, whimpering Seungmin’s name and staring at him with those dark eyes. 

The thought of Changbin getting off to him, thinking about doing god knows what to him, arouses Seungmin more than it should. Knowing Seungmin has that effect on him is enough to send more precum leaking out of him. 

Seungmin imagines Changbin late at night, just like this, unable to hold himself back from touching himself and struggling to keep quiet under the cover of darkness. He pictures the elder touching himself just like the other day, his head tipped back, eyes squeezed shut, eyebrows pressed together, lips falling open and moaning Seungmin’s name like a beautiful song.

Seungmin strokes himself a bit faster at the scene in his head and presses his fingers further inside himself, sucking on his lower lip to stop the tiny whimper that catches in the back of his throat. It doesn’t take him as long as he thought to get used to the feeling, and he slowly begins moving his fingers in and out of himself, stretching himself out. He lets out a shaky breath, the feeling starting to become pleasurable. He likes the way his fingers drag across his walls when he quickens his pace ever so slightly, filling himself up. 

He brushes up against something inside himself that has him gasping a little too loudly in the quiet night and his whole body shaking, an electrifying feeling dancing across his skin. He curls his fingers inside himself, desperate to find it again. He finds it again, pressing against the bundle of nerves and-

An intense pleasure tears through his body, heat racing across his skin in electrifying waves. Seungmin outright cries out, his back arching off the bed and toes curling, his whole body shaking violently. He quickly throws the hand not currently up his ass over his mouth, muffling the embarrassing noise. 

Shit. That must’ve been what Felix was talking about. Fuck. It feels so good. Better than anything Seungmin’s ever felt. He pulls his fingers out and pushes them inside again at the same angle, pushing against his prostate again and sending the hot wave of pleasure through his body again. Seungmin fucks his fingers in and out of himself desperately, loving the way each thrust presses against him in just the right way. 

Needing more, he pulls his fingers out, feeling strangely empty without them. He pours a little more lube onto a third finger before pressing them inside again, gritting his teeth as the stretch hits worse than before. He works himself through it, practically forcing his body to take in his fingers as he sinks them in, a small, relieved moan falling from his lips as he’s filled up again, more than before.

He starts moving his fingers again, trying to use the same pace as before, but his arm is already growing tired, a cramp starting to creep in from the angle. Seungmin stops with a shuddering sigh, laying his head back as he tries to wait for his arm to regain some strength.

He wishes he had help. Fuck , he wishes Changbin were here. Watching Seungmin fuck himself on his fingers, maybe even helping him himself.

Shit, he suddenly thinks. If this is how it feels just using his fingers, how amazing would it feel to have Changbin himself?

He moves his hand again, shutting his eyes and picturing Changbin above him. Seungmin groans at the thought of Changbin pressing him into the mattress, filling him up and fucking into him just like this. 

His hips stutter, the bed creaking as he desperately rocks onto his fingers in time with his hand movements. He gasps and moans as his fingers drag across his prostate deliciously, his body shuddering with each thrust. Seungmin shakes as he gets closer and closer to his release, warmth pooling deep within his gut. He had no idea this could feel so wonderful. 

Seungmin runs his free hand across his chest, trying to imagine it’s Changbin’s slightly smaller, rougher ones. He imagines Changbin’s warmth all around him, touching him, whispering soft praises in his ear about how amazing Seungmin feels, how pretty he is.

Seungmin gasps as his orgasm suddenly wracks his body, cum spurting across his stomach and his hole clenching around his fingers. His back arches off the bed and he turns his face to bite his pillow, whimpering into it. His chest rises and falls with each shuddering breath as he fucks himself through his orgasm, keeping his fingers moving until his body starts twitching from oversensitivity.

He relaxes against the bed, his body spent, and slowly pulls his fingers out of himself, wincing slightly and frowning in disappointment as he’s left empty again. He looks down at himself, gaping slightly when he realizes he hadn’t even been touching himself when he came.

So Felix wasn’t exaggerating.

Seungmin reaches to his nightstand and grabs tissues, wiping the lube from his hands and the sticky liquid all over his stomach. He came a lot, his body feeling weak and shaky after having the most intense orgasm he’s ever experienced. 

He freezes as his post orgasm haze clears, leaving him with the realization of what he’d just done. He just came to the thought of having sex with Changbin.

Oh he’s so utterly, incredibly, fucked.

-

“So? Did you do it?” Felix asks Monday afternoon as soon as they’re alone Seungmin’s room.

Seungmin frowns and asks dumbly, “Do what?”

“You know…” Felix holds up a finger and makes a circle with his other hand. He puts his finger through the circle and Seungmin groans at the vulgar action. “That.”

“You didn’t have to do all that.” Seungmin slaps Felix’s hands down, his friend giggling like a child.

“Well?”

Seungmin sighs, “Yes. I did.”

“And?” Felix prompts.

“And...It was amazing,” Seungmin confesses, burying his face in his hands. “I came untouched.”

“See? I told you!” Felix nudges Seungmin. “You should’ve never doubted me.”

“Yeah? Well, now I have a problem. I can’t stop thinking about it,” Seungmin whines, falling back onto the bed. 

It’s true, all throughout the day his mind kept wandering back to the feeling of his fingers inside himself. And when he caught a glimpse of his Changbin in the hallway, his thoughts went even further south. His mind had wandered back to the thought of Changbin fucking him, and he’d gotten hard right in the middle of class thinking of his friend absolutely ruining him.

Even thinking about it now has Seungmin’s dick twitching in his pants, which the boy is quick to cover by crossing his legs. Felix laughs, obviously noticing it.

“And…I think I want to go all the way with Changbin,” Seungmin mumbles, nibbling on his lower lip nervously as the truth comes out. 

Felix’s eyes widen at Seungmin’s confession. “Seriously? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I just...how do I even go about asking something like that? What if he doesn’t want to and it like...I don’t know, gets weirded out because I asked that? What if he thinks I’m weird?” Seungmin frets, his doubts starting to surface.

“Hey, Changbin’s a really sweet guy. If he doesn’t want to, he won’t be rude about it, and he definitely won’t think you’re weird for it,” Felix reassures him. “I mean, you hook up regularly, it’s just another step further than what you’ve already done. It’s a valid thing to ask. If he says no, then he says no, nothing else will happen. He’s not that kind of person.”

“I guess so,” Seungmin says, relaxing but only a little. “But still...how do I ask?”

Felix shrugs. “Just ask if he wants to fuck.”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Hey, getting straight to the point is a lot better than being all awkward beating around the bush and stuff,” Felix points out. “I’d just go in with a, ‘hey, wanna have sex?’”

Seungmin shakes his head. Felix has a point that being straightforward is better than beating around the bush, but he can’t say it that boldly. Seungmin might just die.

“I can’t just say it like that outright...I mean there has to be some way that isn’t so...bold.”

“I mean that’s really all you can say. Just ask if he wants to have sex. There isn’t really any other way without being awkward.” 

Seungmin sighs and sits up, supposing his best friend is right. “I guess...Now I just have to work up the courage.”

Felix springs upward and hugs Seungmin around the waist, resting his head in Seungmin’s lap. “I know you can do it. I believe in you.” 

Seungmin chuckles lightly, threading his hand through Felix’s soft hair. “Thank you, Lix.”

Felix blinks up at him with his doe eyes. “When do you think you’ll ask him?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to see...What about you? When are you going to ask Jisung the big question?” Seungmin decides to prod.

Felix turns his face into Seungmin’s tummy, the younger giggling slightly as Felix mumbles, “You’re changing the subject.”

“You’re dodging my question.”

“I don’t know either,” Felix confesses with a small sight, his arms tightening around Seungmin’s waist. “How do I even ask?”

Seungmin laughs at the irony. “So you can boldly ask for sex but can’t ask a guy out?”

“It’s different. I really like Jisung. He means a lot to me, and I have major feelings for him. You asking Changbin for sex with no feelings while you’ve already been hooking up for two months already is different than confessing feelings. It means more.”

Seungmin purses his lips. “I didn’t think of it that way…Well, just take your own advice. Be straightforward, tell him how he makes you feel outright. No beating around the bush, give him the full truth, he deserves it.”

Felix rolls back over, blinking up at Seungmin. “You’re right,” he says quietly. “I should tell him how I feel. It makes me happy thinking about just letting him know. I don’t need him to be my boyfriend, I just want him to be happy. And I want him to know how happy he makes me.”

Seungmin feels a fond feeling stir inside him at Felix’s raw words. His best friend wears his heart on his sleeve, falling too easily for his own good and falling hard. He’s just a soft, kind person who has a lot of love to give, and deserves the same kind of love in return. Seungmin really hopes Jisung can be the person to return that love.

“I don’t think you have anything to be afraid of,” Seungmin says softly. “Even if Jisung doesn’t like you back, he’ll understand.”

Felix hums. “I think we both did well when it comes to our crushes.”

Seungmin resists the urge to hit his best friend. “I don’t have a crush on Changbin.”

“Yeah sure,” Felix says tiredly, his eyes fluttering shut as Seungmin continues to run his hand through his hair. “Whatever you say, Min.”

-

Seungmin’s leg bounces erratically in the car, his eyes occasionally drawn to Changbin in the driver seat. Changbin hums quietly along to the radio, his finger tapping mindlessly to the beat, completely unaware of Seungmin’s inner turmoil. 

Seungmin had fingered himself again last night, getting unintentionally hard and needy for a release. The more he thought about it, the more appealing the thought of having sex with Changbin became. He was addicted to the thought, and his jeans felt uncomfortably tight the entire day as he tried to keep his mind off of it, and failed.

He knows his desires aren’t going away anytime soon, now that he’s had a taste of what he wants, now that it’s embedded in his imagination. It’s so tempting to say something, but at the same time it’s terrifying. His nerves almost stop him from voicing his desires out loud. Almost. He needs to say something, needs to know if Changbin wants it too. 

Seungmin glances back at Changbin, and jumps a little when he finds the elder already staring back at him. 

“You okay?” Changbin laughs softly. “You seem a little...distracted.”

“I’m fine,” Seungmin responds with a small, hopefully believable smile. “Just thinking.” Changbin nods and turns back to the road, and not long after is turning the car into Seungmin’s driveway. He turns to Seungmin, opening his mouth to say bye but Seunhmin is quick to interrupt. “Come inside,” he blurts, trying to form it like a question but it comes out as a demand instead. 

Changbin blinks in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah-if you want,” Seungmin adds. 

“Of course.” Changbin smiles brightly, a complete flip from Seungmin’s anxious thoughts. It calms the younger just a little, and they both get out of the car and head inside to Seungmin’s room. Changbin opens his backpack and starts pulling out his homework on Seungmin’s bed, while Seungmin stays put, his leg starting to shake again as he taps his heel against the ledge of the bed. He pulls a particularly painful piece of dried skin from his lips, sucking in a small breath. His lips have been bitten raw. Noticing his odd behavior, Changbin looks up at him. “Are you sure you’re okay, Seungmin?”

Seungmin stays quiet, his heart thudding violently against his ribcage. He summons up all the courage in his body, taking a deep breath and turning to Changbin and-

“I-er-um- ah?”  

Amazing. A spectacular performance by Kim Seungmin.

“What?” Changbin’s eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, but his lips are tugged upward in amusement. 

“Um,” Seungmin’s voice cracks and he clears his throat.

“Are you good?”

“Yeah I just…I just wanted to ask you something.” With each word a burning sensation in Seungmin’s throat worsens, his voice wobbling anxiously and threatening to vanish altogether.

Changbin tips his head, “What’s up?”

“I just-I-” Seungmin’s voice cuts out again, and his eyes are searching everywhere but Changbin. His embarrassment only grows and he wrings his hands nervously in his lap.

Changbin frowns and sets his things to the side, scooting closer to Seungmin. He takes hold of Seungmin’s hands, prying them gently away from each other and squeezing them lightly. “Take your time, yeah? Whatever you want to ask, I’m sure I won’t freak out or anything else you’re afraid I’ll do.”

Seungmin looks down at their joined hands, listening to the way his heart stutters in his chest, before looking back up into Changbin’s eyes. “...Would you ever consider having sex with me?”

Changbin’s stills, his wide eyes and open mouth resembling a deer caught in the headlights. Upon seeing this reaction, Seungmin immediately begins pulling his hands away and turning his face to the side, ears burning in shame and embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, it was a stupid question. I-”

Changbin pulls him back in place. “Where is this coming from?”

Seungmin blinks, his voice incredibly small as he asks, “...I just wanted to know if it was something you would want.”

“I...Well...Yeah,” Changbin breathes out. “Yeah it’s definitely something I would want to try with you, if you’d want it too.”

“I do,” Seungmin says more eagerly than he intended. He clears his throat nonchalantly. “That’s why I asked…I wanted to know if you did too.”

“Oh,” is all Changbin says in response. There’s a pregnant pause between them, unspoken words and uncertainties floating in the air. “...You don’t mean now do you?”

Seungmin laughs at the question. “No…I don’t have the stuff, but it is something I want to do in the near future.”

Changbin inspects him closely, like Seungmin is a mirage, and if he speaks, he’ll disappear. “...You’re serious?”

“Why would I ask if I wasn’t?”

“I don’t know, I just…” Changbin trails off, looking away. “I didn’t think that would be something you want.” 

“Why?” Seungmin can’t help but ask. It’s not as if he’s ever rejected Changbin. 

“Well, I just thought you wouldn’t want to do it with me.”

“But why?”

Changbin glances back at him. “...I wasn’t sure if you trusted me with that.”

Oh. 

It stings more than it should, but not because Seungmin himself is hurt. He hurts more for Changbin than anything. It hurts because Changbin is clearly doubtful and uncertain of the trust Seungmin puts in him. It hurts because Seungmin knows that it’s his fault Changbin doesn’t think Seungmin trusts him. 

“I do trust you,” Seungmin says softly, trying to convey his earnesty in the look he gives Changbin.

Changbin tips his head to the side, still looking uncertain. “Really?”

“Of course,” Seungmin reassures him, smiling gently. “I wouldn’t want something like that from someone I don’t trust.”

“That means a lot,” Changbin murmurs quietly, his voice small and filled with an unidentifiable emotion. That fluttering feeling is back in Seungmin’s chest, tickling his ribcage and itching to get out. Seungmin ignores it, opting to shove it down silently. “As for the...other thing-” Seungmin can’t help but snort. “-how near is ‘near future’ for you?”

“Whenever you’re ready I guess.” Seungmin shrugs nonchalantly. It’s a solid attempt to cover up just how much he really wants it.

“I’m ready when you are.”

Okay, so this is going to be difficult. 

Seungmin sighs, thinking about how Felix had mentioned that beating around the bush is a lot worse than saying what he wants outright. It’ll save him a lot of hassle and overall awkwardness if he just comes out with it.

Seungmin takes a deep breath and looks up to meet Changbin’s gaze. “I am ready.”

“Oh...so you want this soon soon.” Seungmin chuckles quietly and nods, unable to find words. “Okay...can I get a date or…?”

Seungmin laughs, even as his cheeks burn crimson, “We’re saving the date now?”

“Yeah, I mean, we need to get things and make sure we’re both aware of when it’s going to happen rather than doing it unannounced. Just to make sure both of us are fully ready.”

“Right, yeah,” Seungmin agrees, appreciating the thoughtfulness in Changbin’s words. He’s always so thoughtful. “That’s smart.”

“So, when do you want to do it?” Changbin asks.

Seungmin hums quietly as he thinks. Honestly, he wants it now, but they don’t have the supplies and he doesn’t want to seem that desperate. He needs it to happen soon though, or he might explode. 

“Sometime this or next week possibly...if you’re free,” he tries to stay nonchalant.

“My parents are going on a date Saturday night...why don’t you come over then?” Changbin suggests.

Oh. That’s something Seungmin’s never considered. They always go to Seungmin’s house since his parents work so much, and it’s always been convenient. Seungmin realizes he’s never seen Changbin’s room, which is where you can really see a lot about a person. A bit too eagerly, he starts nodding. 

“Yeah. That works,” Seungmin says, nervousness starting to creep up all of a sudden. He is quite nervous, because why wouldn’t he be? He’s afraid of a lot of things going wrong with this, but his excitement overpowers his nerves just barely. Even then, his nerves never really leave.

“Just one question about this,” Changbin pipes up again, sounding as nervous as Seungmin feels. “How do you...um…Do you want like…?” Seungmin raises his eyebrows as Changbin’s cheeks glow a bloody crimson color and his hands wave wildly as he tries to come out with the words. “...Ah fuck it. Do you want to be on top or…?” 

Seungmin hadn’t really thought about that. He was so entrapped by his own fantasy he hadn’t even thought that Changbin might not want that. As much as Seungmin wants it, he doesn’t want to do anything Changbin wants to do. 

“Um-”

“I mean I don’t care either way,” Changbin quickly reiterates. “I’ll do anything with you.”

“I don’t really care either,” Seungmin admits. The idea of it being the other way around and him being the one to fuck Changbin definitely isn’t unappealing. But in all honesty, he’s far too captivated by the feeling of being filled up to miss the opportunity of Changbin being the one to do it rather than his own fingers. “...But I think I want you to do it.”

“Do what?” 

Seungmin decides that beating around the bush really isn’t getting them anywhere, so he looks Changbin square in the eye and deadpans, “I want you to fuck me.”

Changbin’s reaction makes Seungmin glad he decided to put it so bluntly. The elder’s jaw drops to the floor and his face burns even worse than before. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, blinking rapidly as he splutters and looks everywhere except Seungmin.

“O-Ok yeah sure that-that’s cool. Cool, cool. We can-we can totally do that. Sure. Great,” Changbin mutters, his cheeks and ears completely dusted red. Seungmin watches Changbin babble with barely concealed amusement. Changbin clears his throat. “Uh, so yeah we’ve got that figured out. As for the supplies...I can buy one thing while you buy the other.”

“I already have lube,” Seungmin says without thinking.

Changbin raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”

Seungmin feels his own face start to burn this time when he realizes his mistake. “I, um,” he struggles to come up with a reasonable explanation, unwilling to admit that he has it because he fingered himself to the thought of Changbin fucking him...twice. “...Felix gave it to me. He proposed the idea, that’s why I got curious and asked.”

Changbin looks like he doesn’t fully believe him, looks like he’s going to ask more questions until; “I’ll buy condoms, then.”

Seungmin relaxes, glad that Changbin decided to move on. “Okay. Cool.”

It grows quiet again between them, awkwardness and a thick tension that could be cut with a knife settling in the air between them.

“So...we’re really doing this?” Changbin laughs, looking at Seungmin like he’s expecting him to backtrack any second.

Seungmin nods firmly, “Yeah. We’re really doing this.” Changbin stares at him for a second, before a smile starts blooming across his face. “What?”

“Nothing I just…It’s a little crazy, right? Like, if someone told me a few months ago we’d be here I’d probably call them crazy.” 

Seungmin can’t help but smile a little too, Changbin’s smile is awfully contagious. And he’s right, it is pretty crazy how far they’ve come. 

“...I’m glad it turned out this way, though,” Seungmin murmurs in a beat of confidence, 

Changbin’s grin falters, before returning tenfold, biting his lower lip as he often does when he’s really happy. A small but cute habit of his Seungmin had noticed.

“Yeah...me too,” Changbin responds shyly. 

That swooping feeling returns, and Seungmin looks down, trying to control the fluttering in his stomach. He doesn’t know why this feeling keeps returning, leaving Seungmin’s skin sweaty and hot. He almost feels sick, but he knows it’s something else, something that he doesn’t want to name or place. 

And if he silently allows himself to indulge the warm feeling spreading throughout his body as Changbin smiles softly at him, that’s his secret to keep.

-

Felix is eccentric when Seungmin shares that he and Changbin are taking the final step. He punches Seungmin’s arm and congratulates him, laughing out, “I can’t believe your nerd ass is losing your virginity before me.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes at his best friend’s antics. He jokes that Felix is more excited at Seungmin losing his virginity than he is, but Seungmin knows it’s not true.

He’s more than excited, becoming anxious as each day passes, getting closer and closer to the anticipated day when they finally have sex. They’ve both been too busy with school to visit each other, and it drives Seungmin insane. He’s tired of getting off to the mere thought of Changbin, and not being able to feel the touch of the older. 

He catches a break on Friday when he rushes through his homework during class, hardly being able to pay attention anyway with his thoughts elsewhere . He texts Changbin if they can stay after school together and gets a reply almost instantaneously saying yes. Seungmin would laugh at the neediness behind the rushed response, but he can’t mock Changbin knowing he’s just as desperate.

As they’re driving home Seungmin rushes to finish the rest of his work, scribbling down his math problems sloppily, not caring whether they’re right or wrong. They reach home all too quickly, and Seungmin still has a whole page. 

He knows Changbin is just as impatient as he is, because as soon as they're inside the house the elder is all over him. He clings to Seungmin’s side, one arm slung around the taller’s waist, as they walk to the room. When Seungmin sits on the bed, Changbin is right behind him, wrapping his arms fully around Seungmin’s waist as the taller tries to finish his homework.

As he works, he feels a pair of lips press against the skin just above his collarbones, Changbin’s warm body looming over him from behind. Seungmin almost gives into the touch, almost gives in to the way Changbin’s hands tighten around his waist and pulls him in both physically and emotionally, his hormones threatening to take over.

But he pulls away, leaning forward just slightly away from Changbin’s lips. “Shouldn’t you be doing your work too?”

“I should, yeah,” Changbin murmurs quietly, his hands still sliding around Seungmin’s torso. “But I’d rather be doing this.”

“Yeah, because I totally want to do this work,” Seungmin mutters, swatting at Changbin’s wandering hands. “Changbin, I need to finish this first. You’re distracting me.”

“Well you’re distracting me,” Changbin whines insistently.  

“The faster I finish this the faster we can do what we want, okay?”

His words seem to fall on deaf ears because Changbin buries his face into Seungmin’s neck, 

and traps Seungmin between his thighs and whines louder, like a puppy throwing a tantrum. Seungmin just ignores him, sighing as he tries to get through his work with Changbin completely attached to him. 

He only has half a page left now, but the mouth on his neck and hands slipping under his shirt make it incredibly hard for Seungmin to concentrate, his brain stuttering and shutting down under Changbin’s touch. Every once in a while Changbin will suck at a particularly sensitive part of his neck that will have Seungmin whimpering quietly in the back of his throat, his whole body shuddering and leaning back into Changbin’s touch despite trying his best to ignore his antics. Changbin just knows all the right ways to rile Seungmin up, and now he’s using them all against him. 

At one point Changbin presses the heel of his palm to Seungmin’s crotch, causing Seungmin to let out a lewd moan and arch back into him, his head falling on Changbin’s neck. Changbin laughs and playfully bites his neck, but once Seungmin’s head stops spinning he wiggles out of Changbin’s grip again, muttering for Changbin to be patient. Soon enough Changbin’s hands are back on him anyway, but once again Seungmin just can’t find it in him to fully pull away.

After a gruelling twenty minutes that feels like an eternity of Changbin’s lips working his neck and feeling up Seungmin’s body, Seungmin finally finishes the final page of his homework. He tosses his notebook off the bed and pulls completely out of Changbin’s grasp, turning to the elder and pushing him back onto the bed in turn, straddling his hips. 

“You seriously can’t keep your hands off me for one minute, can you?” Seungmin scoffs. 

“Sorry,” Changbin giggles, not sounding sorry at all. “I can’t help it. You’re pretty.”

“I would’ve finished my work sooner if you weren’t being so needy.”

Changbin laughs, staring up at Seungmin with lidded, teasing eyes. “I’m needy?”

Seungmin leans down, propping himself up on Changbin’s chest. “Can’t keep your hands off me.” He tips his head, smiling ever so slightly as he asks lowly, “You wanna fuck me that bad, don’t you?”

The smile on Changbin’s face fades, replaced with flushed cheeks and a small sound from the back of his throat. He turns away, avoiding Seungmin’s gaze. “I…”

Seungmin cups one side of Changbin’s face, pulling him back to look at him, and tightens his thighs around the shorter’s waist. A surge of courage runs through him when he sees the clear effect he’s having on Changbin.

“I can’t wait until you finally fuck me,” Seungmin murmurs, watching in satisfaction as Changbin visibly swallows and tenses under him. “Fucking myself on my fingers will be nothing compared to you.”

“You-?” Changbin chokes, his eyes widening. 

“Yeah, I do.” Seungmin lets out a small laugh. “Every night I fuck myself open to the thought of you. I need you inside me so fucking bad.”

Changbin inhales shakily and squirms under him, reaching up and tugging at Seungmin’s shirt. “Seungmin....”

“No,” Seungmin says firmly. “You haven’t been able to keep your hands off me since we got here. You don’t get to touch me now.” Changbin stares up at him with wide eyes, but obediently pulls away, his hands falling to the mattress.

Seungmin sits up, pulling his shirt up and over his head. He slips his hands under the elders shirt and pushes the material up, muttering, “Off.” Changbin leans up and takes his shirt off in record time, Seungmin climbing off of him and slipping off his own jeans. Changbin does the same, but when he tries to pull off his boxers Seungmin takes hold of his wrist, an idea popping into his head. “Leave them on.”

Changbin blinks in confusion but once again does as told, much to Seungmin’s delight. He leans back as Seungmin climbs back on top of him, shuddering as Seungmin runs his hands across his tummy. 

Seungmin scoots back until he’s seated directly on Changbin’s hard-on. He steadies his hands on Changbin’s chest and begins steadily rocking himself in Changbin’s lap. Changbin moans in surprise, his hips canting upward against Seungmin’s ass, hands grasping at the sheets. 

“Shit,” Changbin curses as Seungmin sets a torturous pace. “Min.”

Seungmin bites his lip as he feels Changbin brushing against the swell of his ass, his cock straining through his boxers. Just the thought of Changbin being this close to fucking him, thin fabric the only thing between them, turns him on much more than it should. 

Seungmin reaches down and palms himself through his own boxers, closing his eyes and moaning unabashedly as he relieves some of the pressure building up inside him. He rolls his hips into his hand, simultaneously grinding his ass down against Changbin, who is writhing breathlessly underneath him. Seungmin opens his eyes and watches him fall apart underneath him. Changbin notices his gaze and turns away, pressing his face into the pillow with a whine. 

“Look at you,” Seungmin breathes. He reaches down and pulls Changbin’s face toward him again. Changbin flushes, his eyes unfocused and pupils blown wide as Seungmin forces him to meet his eyes. He looks thoroughly fucked out already. “So gorgeous. You haven’t even gotten to fuck me for real and you’re already a mess. I bet I could make you cum just like this.”

Changbin’s only response is a small whining noise from the back of his throat. Seungmin brushes his thumb along Changbin’s cheek, watching the look on his face as he comes undone. His eyes fall down to Changbin’s lips, parted and pink as he pants heavily. Seungmin brushes his thumb along Changbin’s bottom lip, the shorter parting his mouth in response and allowing Seungmin to slide his thumb into his mouth. Seungmin shudders and curses under his breath as Changbin wraps his mouth around his thumb, curling his tongue around the pad of his fingertip. Seungmin rocks his hips faster, watching in awe as Changbin’s eyes roll back and clench shut at the change in speed, the shorter moaning around Seungmin’s finger. 

“Holy shit,” Seungmin breathes, feeling the way Changbin’s cock twitching under him. “You’re going to feel so fucking good when you’re inside me.”

Changbin’s eyes open at that, his irises near eclipsed. Seungmin pulls his finger out of Changbin’s mouth, focusing instead on his own neglected cock and reaching into his boxers. He’s painfully hard, and even the smallest touch has Seungmin shaking. 

“Please,” Changbin suddenly speaks up, his voice shaky and broken. “Seungmin, I-” 

He doesn’t finish, so Seungmin asks, “What is it?”

“Want- ah- Want to touch you. Please. Can I?”

Seungmin had completely forgotten he told Changbin not to touch him, and the fact that Changbin did remember and listened to him has Seungmin feeling all sorts of things. 

Rendered speechless for a few moments, Seungmin pulls himself together just enough to nod. “Touch me.”

Rather than feeling up his body again or wrapping a hand around his cock like Seungmin figured he would, Changbin immediately takes a firm hold of Seungmin’s hips. He begins rolling his hips desperately upward, pushing Seungmin down against him. His hands dig into Seungmin’s skin hard enough to bruise, and that mixed with the way his hips grind up roughly against Seungmin’s ass has the taller gasping. 

Seungmin is so painfully hard, leaking abundant amounts of precum at the sudden switch up in tactics. He slips a hand into his boxers and wraps a hand around himself, tugging his cock in time with Changbin’s movements, tipping his head back and letting moans fall freely from his lips. 

“You’re gonna fuck me so good, aren’t you?” Seungmin gasps. “Want you so bad.”

“Please.”

Changbin keeps moving, his thrusts desperate and no sense of control behind them, only raw desire. It’s hotter than it should be, watching Changbin fall apart just from this. Watching him lose all control as his own body takes over in its desire to chase its own pleasure. Seungmin feels wonderful knowing how badly he’s wanted, knowing that this is the sort of effect he has on someone. 

He watches as Changbin gets closer and closer to his edge, his movements becoming more rapid, falling out of a rhythm they never truly had. Seungmin pumps himself vigorously, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, whines spilling out as he starts to creep toward the edge as well.

“Fuck , you’re so hot, I-” Changbin squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a broken moan, his hips stuttering and cock twitching underneath Seungmin’s ass. Seungmin watches in awe as Changbin cums, fully mesmerized, even though he’s seen it too many times to count. Changbin rolls his hips upward a few more times before coming to a shaky stop, head falling back and chest rising and falling heavily. Seungmin reaches his own edge just seconds later after watching Changbin, cumming ropes across the elder’s torso with a high moan. After a few seconds of silence save for the heavy breathing as each of them come down from their highs, Changbin groans, “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”

“We haven’t even fucked yet,” Seungmin responds with a growing smirk.

Changbin eyes him warily. “I know. I’m honestly terrified for when we do.”

“Death by sex seems like a pretty fun way to go out. Imagine putting that on someone’s grave.”

Changbin laughs and Seungmin smiles in return, reaching for the tissues by the bed and cleaning himself and the mess he made on Chsngbin’s stomach. Once he’s finished he pulls his boxers back up and tosses the tissues, raising a brow at the way Changbin is squirming uncomfortably.

“I um...I’ll need to borrow a pair of boxers,” Changbin says sheepishly.

“God, just take all my clothes, why don’t you?” Seungmin scoffs but pulls out a pair and throws them at Changbin anyway. “This isn’t a thrift store, you know.”

“Hey, you told me to keep my boxers on!” Changbin argues as he cleans himself and changes out of the soiled boxers.

“That’s cute that you listen to me so well,” Seungmin coos teasingly, although it affects him more than he wants to admit.

Changbin flushes and looks away. “Shut up.”

Seungmin laughs and pulls his shirt and pants back on before settling back in the bed. He watches with a small smile as Changbin pulls on his own jeans then heads to Seungmin’s closet like he owns it, pulling out his favorite hoodie that’s hardly in Seungmin’s own wardrobe anymore. He tugs it on and climbs into bed beside Seungmin, pulling the hood over his head and the sleeves over his hands, effectively looking ten times smaller than usual. The revelation has Seungmin’s chest doing the weird thing again, and without thinking he pulls Changbin closer to his side, craving his warmth.

“Do you have to steal that one all the time?” Seungmin complains, picking at the hoodie. “It’s one of my favorites”

“It’s mine now,” Changbin insists. “And don’t act like you hate it, you’re all bark, no bite.” Seungmin chuckles quietly and runs a hand through Changbin’s dark hair, falling quiet. After a minute, however, Changbin pipes up again. “Hey...Seungmin?”

Seungmin blinks and looks down, doing a double take when he finds Changbin staring back at him with uncertainty, vulnerability reflecting off his eyes. “...Yeah?”

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” 

The question catches Seungmin off guard, and he carefully regards the anxious look in Changbin’s eyes, and the way he fiddles with his fingers beneath the sleeves. “Yeah, of course...Why? Are you?”

“Fuck yeah I’m nervous,” Changbin laughs a bit, but it sounds forced and uneven. “I have no clue what I’m doing. What if I do something wrong and end up accidentally hurting you or something?”

Seungmin is about to answer that it’s okay, they’ll work through it together, but then the first part hits him. 

“You...don’t know what you’re doing? You’re a virgin?” 

Changbin blinks slowly at him. “...Yeah? I never said I wasn’t...Is that an issue…?”

“No!” Seungmin quickly corrects himself. “No. Of course not. I just...I don’t know. I kind of figured you weren’t.”

“Why?” Changbin frowns, bemused.

“You said you’ve done this before with someone else...I guess I just figured you’d…” Seungmin trails off, realizing how stupid he sounds.

“No. We cut it off before going all the way, and neither of us were really ready at the time anyway.”

“Oh…Sorry,” Seungmin apologizes, feeling bad for just assuming things. “I shouldn’t have assumed…” 

Why he keeps assuming things about Changbin, he isn’t sure. 

“Yeah. Honestly, you seem a lot more confident than I am with this,” Changbin laughs a little, looking down.

“I’m nervous too,” Seungmin admits quietly. He hadn’t wanted to admit it out loud, but he is, and after witnessing Changbin bare himself he feels like it’s only fair to take the mask of strength off himself as well. “Really nervous. But...I trust you. I know we’ll work it out together.”

Changbin looks back up, looking surprised at first, but then a soft smile slowly spreads across his face. “I’m really glad my first time will be with you.”

A simple statement, but the look in Changbin’s face and the undertone of pure appreciation strikes Seungmin to the core. Seungmin realizes he too, is glad that he’s going to share this with someone he’s really come to appreciate in his life. 

Sure, virginity is a construct and whatnot, but Seungmin wouldn’t want his first time, or any time for that matter, to be with someone he doesn’t trust. The first time however, he especially doesn’t want someone he doesn’t trust. He wants someone like Changbin, who’s thoughtful, sensitive, and caring nature makes him feel safe and warm. Changbin’s taken care of him before, and Seungmin fully trusts in him to do it again. 

“Yeah, I’m glad it’s you too.”

-

The hours leading up to (Seungmin doesn’t know what to call it. The Sex™?) it , drag by like years yet zoom by like seconds. He’s nervous, no doubt about it, and at this point it’s definitely overshadowing his initial excitement. So many fears and doubts fly through his head;

What if he does something wrong and I get hurt? 

What if I do something wrong and he gets hurt?

What if it doesn’t even feel good?

What if I end up looking ridiculous during sex?

More and more what ifs play in his head like a slideshow, and he wipes his sweaty palms on his pants. Not long before Changbin picks him up, he showers and cleans himself as thoroughly as possible (another fear of his; not being clean enough) and spends the rest of his 30 minutes trying and failing to distract himself on his phone. When all else fails he falls back onto the bed and sighs, his collective nervous energy buzzing throughout his still body, waiting to be released. 

All too quickly his phone dings, Changbin blinking up at him in bright letters. His heart rate accelerates and his stomach drops. 

Changbin: hey, im here

Seungmin takes a deep breath and pockets his phone, grabbing the lube and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. He passes his mom and tells her goodbye, announcing that he’s leaving. 

He heads outside and finds Changbin parked out front, waiting for him. When he gets in the car Changbin beams brightly at him.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Changbin asks as he sets the car in reverse and backs out.

“Nervous,” Seungmin decides to respond earnestly.

Changbin glances at him sympathetically. “Yeah. Me too…We’ll work it out, yeah? Take it slow. We don’t have to rush into it as soon as we get home.”

Seungmin feels a little better at Changbin’s reassurance, and nods. “Okay.”

The car ride is silent, but it’s a surprisingly comfortable silence. Seungmin feels all too calm in Changbin’s warm presence, a sense of belonging he’s felt with very few people in life. Seungmin doesn’t know how or why he’s gone from practically hating Changbin to feeling like this. 

The absurdity of it all has his Seungmin’s nerves bubbling up again, and without thinking he blindly reaches out for something to ground him. His hand finds Changbin’s, which rests on the console between them. Seungmin panics when Changbin looks over at him, ready to pull away but Changbin flips his hand up, gently spreading his palm as if to say take it. And Seungmin does.

They stay like that the whole ride, Seungmin’s hand clasping Changbin’s a bit too tightly, his nerves still under the surface, but Changbin continues to silently comfort him, squeezing Seungmin’s hand every so often. No words are spoken, possibly due to the fact that neither of them really know what to say in this situation, but none are needed. 

It doesn’t take long for them to reach Changbin’s house, living in the same neighborhood and all. Changbin slips his fingers out of Seungmin’s, much to the younger’s disappointment, and they both exit the car. Changbin’s house is a bit larger than Seungmin expected, and when Changbin holds the door open for him Seungmin finds it’s even bigger on the inside. 

He kicks off his shoes by the door and lets Changbin lead him through the house. They pass through the open living room and kitchen with large windows leaking in the dying red sunlight from outside. Changbin leads him upstairs into a hall and opens the door to his room. Seungmin stands in the doorway for a minute, taking it in.

It’s surprisingly clean, though Seungmin wonders if that’s intentional, due to their plans for the evening. There’s posters on the wall and albums stacked on a shelf with various albums and artists both korean and some american names Seungmin recognizes. There’s a guitar in one corner and he catches a glimpse of a keyboard stashed away under the bed. The only messy part of the room is a small desk with various papers, and upon closer inspection Seungmin recognizes music notes strewn along the pages.

“So you’re into music,” Seungmin deadpans, phrasing it more of a statement than anything else.

“Have I never mentioned it?” Changbin laughs a little, scratching his neck and glancing at his posters as if suddenly embarrassed.

He has, but Seungmin didn’t realize he was this into music.

“I didn’t know you were like, into it. Thought it was just a casual thing.”

“Eh...It’s more of a hobby than anything. I know it’s a bit wishful to think I’d ever be able to make a stable career out of it, but I love it anyways,” Changbin explains. Seungmin nods in understanding, then jumps when he feels a hand press against the small of his back. Changbin pulls away. “Sorry-I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Seungmin reassures him, hugging himself a little and rubbing his arms lightly. “I guess I’m just a little on edge.”

“You want this, right?” Changbin asks carefully, moving to cup Seungmin’s face between both of his palms. “It’s ok to back out now, or any time for that matter.”

“I want this,” Seungmin breathes, reaching up and placing his hands over Changbin’s. “Do you?”

Changbin’s answer comes with no hesitation. “Yes.”

The silence that follows is thick and heavy, louder than any words either of them could say. Seungmin’s world seems to slow down, his heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears. His nervous energy tangles with his excitement, wondering if Changbin is going to kiss him, marking the beginning of whatever is to come ahead. They stare at each other for a solid minute that feels like an eternity, none of them wanting to make the first move out of fear.

Changbin’s eyes are focused on his lips, but he looks back up at Seungmin before asking, “Can I-?”

“Yes,” Seungmin says before Changbin can even finish, his own eyes still fixated on Changbin’s lips. 

Normally, Changbin would laugh, maybe make a dumb joke at the desperation leaking into Seungmin’s voice, but there’s no hint of amusement on his features right now. He leans in, capturing Seungmin’s lips in a soft kiss. It’s gentle, so incredibly tender and so different from how they normally kiss. The thumb on his cheek caresses his skin, while Changbin’s other hand wraps around his waist and pulls their bodies flush together. Changbin’s lips slide softly against his own, inhaling shaky breaths in between when they have to pull away for air. Seungmin can feel the lingering nervousness in Changbin, and kisses him back with that same softness, trying to soothe both of their nerves.

It’s not long before the softer kisses become underwhelming, and both of them need more. Seungmin parts his lips to deepen the kiss, Changbin getting the message and sliding his tongue between his lips, Seungmin sucking and moaning around it.

Seungmin only realizes they’re still in the doorway when Changbin pulls away to ask, “Bed?”

Seungmin nods, then gasps lightly when Changbin sweeps his legs from under him. He instinctively wraps his legs around Changbin’s waist, the elder’s hands gripping the underside of his thighs. His dick twitches in his jeans as Changbin carries him over to the bed, turning and sitting down so Seungmin is sitting in his lap.

“Do you know how fucking hot it is when you do that?” Seungmin says breathlessly.

Changbin just laughs and squeezes his thighs, pulling him in and kissing him again. Seungmin wraps his arms around Changbin’s neck and slides a hand into his thick hair, tugging at it lightly. Changbin hums into the kiss and the hands on his thighs suddenly slide up to grip Seungmin’s ass instead. Seungmin jumps and gasps into the kiss in shock, his face heating.

Changbin pauses in between kisses. “Too much?” 

Seungmin shakes his head and dives back into the kiss. He groans into it when Changbin gropes him a bit more roughly, kneading the soft flesh of his ass in a way that has Seungmin squirming. 

Changbin pulls away from the kiss only to drag his mouth along Seungmin’s jawline and press fleeting kisses to his pulsepoint. He takes his sweet time kissing along Seungmin’s neck and dipping down to nip at his collarbones. Seungmin hisses at the way the elder’s teeth drag across his sensitive skin, his head instinctively tipping back to give him more access. He’s incredibly sensitive on his neck, his whole body shaking as Changbin takes his sweet time sucking on his skin, probably leaving marks that Seungmin can’t even bother to care about right now. 

Changbin’s hands move to slip under his shirt as he works, slowly sliding his hands up Seungmin’s tummy before the younger becomes impatient with the slow pace and whispers, “Please. Take it off.” It comes off much needier than intended, but Seungmin really can’t bring himself to care.

Changbin releases a shaky breath that tickles Seungmin’s neck before the younger shrugs off his jacket and then lifts his arms so Changbin can undress him. Once his shirt is off Changbin blinks at him a little, like this is the first time he’s ever seen Seungmin shirtless.

“I…” Changbin hesitates, mouth moving around nothing as he second guesses his next words. “...I really love your body.”

Goosebumps race across Seungmin’s skin, his body electrified by the sudden compliment. He feels both emboldened and shy seeing and practically feeling the way Changbin’s hungry gaze drags across his features. He feels completely naked and vulnerable, but in a good way. 

“Thank you,” is all he can say, breathless.

Changbin responds by pressing more kisses against his neck, pulling Seungmin impossibly closer. His hands explore Seungmin’s body like he’s trying to map it, his calloused palms dragging across his skin slowly. Seungmin sighs softly when Changbin finds his nipple, his thumb rubbing over the sensitive nub. Seungmin isn’t nearly as sensitive there as Changbin, but he admits it feels nice. He slides a shaky hand into Changbin’s hair as the shorter sucks harshly on a particular spot on his neck, gasping and clinging to Changbin’s clothes when Changbin suddenly bites down. 

His hips stutter, grinding down into Changbin’s lap. Changbin moans into his neck, his tongue sliding over the bite to soothe the irritated skin. Seungmin rolls his hips down again, a full body shudder wracking his body. Seungmin can feel the way Changbin’s dick strains through his jeans underneath him, and his hands are wandering lower and lower on Seungmin’s back, eventually dipping underneath the fabric of his boxers. Seungmin’s heart leaps to his throat.

Holy shit. This is really happening. 

Seungmin takes in a shaky breath, his stomach turning from both anxiety and excitement. Changbin seems to sense this, because he pulls away and rests his hands on Seungmin’s hips instead, staring up at him with searching eyes.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin replies earnestly. 

“Can we um, take off our clothes? Please?” Changbin asks far too cutely for the situation at hand, blinking up at Seungmin. His next words aren’t nearly as innocent. “Wanna touch you.”

Seungmin suppresses another shudder and slides off his lap, unbuttoning his jeans while Changbin follows in suit. Once Seungmin is fully undressed he grabs his jacket from where it was discarded on the floor and pulls out the bottle of lube, tossing it onto the bed. Changbin’s eyes follow the small bottle with piqued interest, then slide to Seungmin when the younger climbs back onto the bed. Changbin pulls back the covers, leaving the sheets exposed for them to lie down on. Seungmin allows Changbin to then gently push him down into the mattress, slotting himself between Seungmin’s shaky legs and leaning down to connect their lips again.

Changbin’s fingertips trail down his chest and wrap around Seungmin’s dick, the younger moaning into the kiss and leaking precum. His nails scathe down Changbin’s back as he spreads the precum and works Seungmin to full hardness. 

“Changbin…” Seungmin whines, hand searching blindly for the bottle he had thrown. When he finally gets hold of it, Changbin stares at the bottle, then him, with wide eyes.

“A-Are you sure?” Changbin asks quietly, his cheeks flushing. 

Whatever nervousness Seungmin had before breaks down as he’s overcome with desire, the thought of Changbin fingering him open leaving his body hot and brain muddled.

“Please.”

Changbin sits up, taking the bottle from Seungmin and swallowing thickly as he opens it. “I um…I’ve never…”

“You’ve never fingered yourself?” Seungmin finishes for him.

Changbin laughs a little at that, like some inside joke Seungmin is missing. “No, I’ve definitely fingered myself before.” Seungmin’s dick twitches, his mind instantly supplying him with pornographic images of Changbin fucking himself on his fingers. He shuts the thoughts away for another time. “Just not someone else.”

“Do you want me to do it?” Seungmin offers, definitely not opposed to Changbin watching.

“No, I want to do it. Just...um, could you talk to me while I do it? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

God, it’s such a sweet sentiment, and the way Changbin looks at him with that soft concern and slightly furrowed eyebrows...it has Seungmin’s heart stuttering for a different reason. 

“Yeah, okay,” Seungmin breathes. Changbin pours the lube on his finger before carefully spreading Seungmin’s thighs apart. He stares at Seungmin’s face as he lowers his lubed finger and presses it against Seungmin’s hole. Seungmin gasps and his thighs try to close instinctively, causing Changbin to pull away. “No, no, it’s just cold. Don’t stop.”

Changbin nods and rubs his fingers together to warm the lube up before he prods at Seungmin’s entrance again. It’s so different from when Seungmin does it himself. His body is a hundred times more aware of the feeling, and Seungmin quivers as he tries to keep still, overwhelmed by the sensitivity. Changbin suddenly leans down, pressing a kiss to the inside of Seungmin’s thigh.

He whispers a gentle, “Sh...Relax. Let me take care of you.”

Seungmin shivers. That’s what Changbin always does, doesn’t he? Always taking care of Seungmin, even when he doesn’t ask for it. 

So Seungmin wills his muscles to relax, and as soon as he does, the finger circling his rim slowly begins to press inside. Seungmin exhales shakily as Changbin’s finger sinks inside him, the shorter going agonizingly slow and checking Seungmin’s face every few seconds for any sign of discomfort. 

“Move, please,” Seungmin says after his body becomes used to the small stretch. Changbin does as told, sliding his finger in and out of Seungmin. It barely feels like anything now that Seungmin is used to stretching himself open every other night, and soon enough he’s craving more, asking for another.

Changbin pours a little more lube (there’s already plenty, but it’s obvious he’s doing it for peace of mind, so Seungmin doesn’t comment on it) and presses the tips of his two fingers inside. Seungmin’s fingers curl into the sheets, his jaw clenching at the stretch as he focuses on not shutting his thighs on Changbin’s head. 

Changbin begins dragging his mouth along Seungmin’s inner thigh, clearly trying to distract the younger from the uncomfortable stretch. It’s only when Changbin’s mouth travels higher that Seungmin realizes what he’s about to do, and soon enough Changbin’s mouth is enveloping him in its wet heat. 

Seungmin’s head falls back against the bed and he moans, his attention falling to Changbin’s mouth wrapped around him rather than the stretch of the two fingers halfway inside him. Changbin bobs his head, tongue flattening against Seungmin’s cockhead and cheeks suctioning to create a tightness that makes Seungmin’s head swim. Before he knows it, the two fingers are completely pressed inside him, his body opening up as Changbin riles him up further. 

“Move,” Seungmin all but whines, a small, surprised noise escaping him when Changbin does as told. 

Changbin slides his mouth off of him, licking the spit collecting at his mouth away and sitting up to focus on moving his fingers instead. The pace is slow at first, but once Changbin is met with little resistance, he speeds up. Seungmin writhes under him, biting his lip in an attempt to stop any noise, 

little whimpers from the back of his throat managing to come out.

Changbin pauses his movements, staring at Seungmin with dark eyes. “Please don’t hold back. You sound so pretty. Let me hear you.”

That in itself draws out a small but filthy moan from Seungmin. 

Instead of continuing his pace, Changbin’s fingers start curling inside him, searching. It takes a moment but eventually he brushes against Seungmin’s prostate, the reaction instantaneous. Seungmin’s back arches off the bed as he cries out, eyes squeezing shut and shaky legs trying to close, but are stopped by Changbin’s torso. 

“God-fuck,” Changbin curses, keeping the pad of his finger pressed against Seungmin’s prostate. Rather than constantly hitting it like Seungmin usually does, he slowly massages it, the heat spreading across Seungmin’s body in a new way. It’s slow and torturous, and builds up frustration in Seungmin, who tries to move himself back onto Changbin’s fingers in an effort to relieve himself. “You’re so fucking pretty like this, baby.” 

Seungmin’s eyes fly open at the sudden drop of the pet name, and Changbin seems to notice his slip up too, because he freezes and stares at Seungmin like a deer caught in the headlights. “Sorry, I-”

“Say it again,” Seungmin demands.

Changbin blinks a few times. “...Baby?” he asks hesitantly, eyebrows drawn together.

Seungmin scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Well it’s not hot when you say it like that . Nevermind.”

Changbin laughs breathily, pulling his fingers out and thrusting them back in, angling it to hit Seungmin’s prostate again. Seungmin moans and shudders, hand moving up to twist in his own hair to ground himself. Changbin spreads his fingers and begins scissoring him open, jaw slack as he blatantly stares at how Seungmin’s body greedily takes him in. Seungmin is spread completely bare for him, and the realization of that turns him on even more. He needs this, he needs Changbin or he might actually explode.

“More,” Seungmin pleads breathlessly. “Need more.”

“You sure?” Changbin checks in again.

“Please.”

Soon enough three fingers are being pressed inside him, and this time, Seungmin makes a small, pained noise. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Changbin immediately apologizes, his free hand reaching out to grip Seungmin’s waist in a comforting manner.

“It’s okay,” Seungmin whispers in return, placing his hand over Changbin’s. “Not your fault.”

Changbin nods understandably, but still looks guilty. The wait for Seungmin’s body to adjust is longer than before, but Changbin, ever so patient, listens everytime Seungmin says something. He goes when Seungmin says he’s ready for a little more and stops and waits as soon as Seungmin says so. After an agonizingly long period of waiting, finally Seungmin is filled with Changbin’s three fingers, the elder pumping them in and out of him. 

Seungmin’s completely gone at this point, his body pliant and just taking what he’s given. It feels so much better when Changbin is doing it, the different angle and the way his body is hyper aware of Changbin getting him way too close to the edge than he intended. He can’t have that. He needs Changbin inside him before that happens.

“Changbin-Changbin-Fuck-” Seungmin stumbles, his thoughts incoherent and barely able to say much other than Changbin’s name and a select few curse words. He gasps when the elder’s fingers curl inside him again. “ Ah. Ch-Changbin stop, wait.”

Immediately, Changbin freezes. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?”

“No.” Seungmin takes a second to recollect himself, shaking his head. “No. Want you inside me. Please. If you keep doing this I’ll cum. Want to feel you inside me when I cum.”

“Shit.” Changbin twists around and practically flings himself toward his nightstand, fishing out a packet that Seungmin immediately recognizes. Shit. This is really about to happen. Changbin opens the packet with his teeth then stares at the condom for a second, laughing as he says, “I’m gonna be completely honest here; I have no fucking clue how to put this thing on.”

Seungmin laughs, maybe a bit too hard, but it softens his nerves a lot. It reminds him that they’re both new to this, and it’s going to be a little clumsy, and that’s okay. 

“We’re both just dumb virgins, huh?” Seungmin giggles. 

“We won’t be in a few minutes here. Just wait until I get this thing on,” Changbin says, biting his lip and looking a bit embarrassed. He rolls it on quicker than both of them anticipated, making a small, happy noise that is once again way too cute for the situation. Seungmin is almost fond of it until Changbin settles between his legs again, his breath catching in his throat. “You’re sure you want to do this?” 

“Yes. I trust you. Now, please.” Seungmin wiggles his hips, adjusting himself on his back. “Want you so bad.”

Changbin breathes out and nods, lining himself up at Seungmin’s entrance and pushing inside. Seungmin seizes up, the stretch definitely painful this time, much more than he expected it to be. It’s not overwhelming, but it’s still a lot. Seungmin doesn’t even realize he’s dug his fingernails into Changbin’s hips until the elder carefully pries them off, lacing their fingertips together.

“Please tell me if it’s too much,” Changbin whispers against the back of his hand before pressing a gentle kiss to it. 

Seungmin nods, not trusting his voice at the moment. It takes a staggering amount of time, and Seungmin hisses and clenches at each movement Changbin makes before he bottoms out. Once he’s fully in, Changbin breathes out, “ Oh. Oh my god.” Before leaning over Seungmin and kissing him tenderly, the younger clutching Changbin’s hand like a lifeline. 

Slowly but surely, the pain fades away and Seungmin is left with the indescribable feeling of Changbin pressed up inside him. It’s better than any fantasy his brain had conjured up of this moment, and he sighs contently into the kiss. 

“Move, please,” he whispers in between kisses. Changbin doesn’t disappoint, sitting up and slowly sliding out before going back in. It stings just a little bit, but Seungmin is too far gone to register it fully, way too entrapped by the feeling of Changbin filling him up. Seungmin exhales and wraps his arms and legs around Changbin, quietly prompting him to move again. “Changbin…Don’t hold back, please. I need you.”

Changbin takes him by the hips and moves again, this time not stopping once he starts. Both of them moan as he sets a slow but steady pace that’s just enough to drive them both crazy. “Fuck. You’re so tight, baby.”

Seungmin jerks slightly and moans at the use of the pet name again. He rolls his hips upward to meet Changbin’s thrusts, finding a rhythm between the two of them. Changbin leans down and kisses him, but they both find it difficult to focus, basically moaning into each other’s mouths instead.

“Feels so good,” Changbin whispers, burying his head into Seungmin’s neck. “Shit. You’re so good, Min.”

Seungmin’s lips curl upward blissfully at the gentle praise. “You’re perfect,” he murmurs in response. Changbin’s hips twitch at that, snapping forward in a way that has Seungmin whimpering. “Fuck, just like that, baby. You make me feel so good.”

The pet name rolls off his tongue easily, Seungmin barely noticing he said it along with the gentle praise. Changbin doesn’t seem to mind however, he whines and his hips move faster, clumsy and messy without a true rhythm but it feels amazing to Seungmin nonetheless. Changbin’s arms hook underneath him, lifting his hips up and thrusting into him at a new angle. He hits Seungmin’s prostate, the younger moaning loudly and arching up against Changbin’s body as his body fills with that warm flame. He claws at Changbin’s back, his gut tightening as Changbin fucks into him at a brutal pace, the sound of skin on skin and their moans filling the empty house.

“Not gonna last long like this,” Changbin admits breathily. Seungmin isn’t either, he can already feel the pressure building inside him, his body overwhelmed by this brand new feeling. Changbin pulls back to examine Seungmin’s face, his gaze soft and searching. “Min, you’re okay, right?”

“Yes,” Seungmin somehow manages to find his words. “Don’t stop. Please.” Changbin rolls his hips in a way that buries him deeply inside Seungmin, the younger seeing stars when he presses perfectly against his prostate. “Ah. Faster, Bin. I’m getting close.”

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” Changbin groans, his hips snapping faster than before. 

It’s exactly like Seungmin imagined.

Seungmin reaches down and tugs on his aching cock, which he’d completely forgotten to pay attention to. As soon as he wraps his fingers around himself he hisses, the added pressure sending him all the more closer to his impending orgasm. He lifts himself to meet Changbin and strokes himself in time with the elder’s movements. Seungmin trembles, the heat pooling in his gut getting tighter and tighter with each thrust of Changbin’s hips. 

“Ch-Changbin,” Seungmin gasps out, his gut twisting in a familiar way. “I’m s-so close. Please.” 

Changbin’s forehead falls against his neck, his movements becoming more and more erratic and his hands squeezing Seungmin’s waist. Another stroke of his cock against Seungmin’s prostate finally sends the younger over the edge, his hole clenching around Changbin as his orgasm wracks his body, spilling all over both of their chests with a moan.

“I-” is all Changbin can get out before he moans brokenly into Seungmin’s neck, his dick twitching inside him. 

Seungmin shudders and lets Changbin finish inside him before gently pushing him away, body twitching from oversensitivity. Changbin pulls out-both of them wincing at the feeling-before collapsing on top of Seungmin, not seeming to care about the mess between them. 

Seungmin struggles to catch his breath, his body completely spent. Changbin doesn’t seem much better, breathing heavily into his neck. They stay like that for a minute, coming down from their highs. Eventually the elder sits up, cupping Seungmin’s face in his hand and gently kissing him. Seungmin lets out a muffled noise of surprise, but melts into the kiss a second later, sighing against Changbin’s lips.

“You okay?” Changbin whispers, pushing Seungmin’s sweaty bangs off his forehead. 

Seungmin takes in his appearance. His dark bangs are sticking to his skin, his eyes nearly hidden behind the curtain of hair. His cheeks are flushed a deeper red than they’ve ever been and his lips are bitten raw. His eyes are hazy and unfocused, but bright and a tad bit shy, staring at Seungmin with an unidentifiable emotion hidden behind them. He looks beautiful like this.

Seungmin smiles up at him, his heart swelling. “Perfect.”

Changbin beams as well, biting his lower lip shyly. “That was um...really good. I really enjoyed it.”

“Me too,” Seungmin says, honestly meaning it.

Changbin looks like he’s fighting his smile from getting even wider. He sits up and averts his eyes, suddenly really shy as he tugs off the condom. 

“...Do you wanna shower with me to clean off?” he asks in a small voice, peeking over at Seungmin. 

“Sure.” Seungmin sits up, carefully maneuvering himself off the bed to not let the sticky mess on his torso. When he tries to stand however, he finds his legs are like jelly, and something deep within him burns painfully. “Ah,” he gasps, falling back against the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Changbin is all over him in an instant. 

Seungmin laughs awkwardly, “I can’t stand.”

“Oh.” Changbin thinks for a second before standing in front of Seungmin. Seungmin frowns, about to ask what he’s doing before Changbin wraps an arm around his waist and another under his knees and picks him up. Seungmin squeaks in surprise, clinging to Changbin’s neck as the older carries him bridal style to the bathroom. Once they reach it, Changbin carefully sets Seungmin down in the tub and turns on the water, letting the tub fill up. “Guess we’ll have to take a bath instead.”

He takes a couple towels and washcloths from the cabinets before joining Seungmin in the bathtub. Changbin brings his knees up to his chest, effectively looking smaller. Seungmin is sure he does it on purpose to mess with his heart. 

“Can you make it a little warmer?” Seungmin asks, pointing at the knob behind Changbin. 

Changbin turns to adjust it, feeling the running water underneath his fingers. “This okay?”

Seungmin feels the water pooling around him get warmer. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Changbin takes a washcloth from the side of the tub and dips it into the water before pouring a bottle of peach scented soap onto it. 

“Can I…?” Changbin offers the washcloth to Seungmin. 

It takes Seungmin a second to realize what he’s asking, and he knows his face is probably ten different shades of pink. He nods, spreading his legs and letting Changbin kneel in between them. It feels a bit weird to have someone else wash him instead of doing it himself, but Seungmin doesn’t find himself complaining.

Changbin washes him carefully, gently scrubbing the sweat built up on his skin and the dried cum on his torso. The water slowly fills up around them and Seungmin sinks a little in the water, sighing as his tired muscles get some relief from the warmth. Changbin finishes his front side and turns off the water, now up to their chests.

“Turn around, please,” Changbin gently instructs him. 

As soon as Seungmin does so, the washcloth is gently scrubbing his neck and gliding down his back. Being washed like this feels far too intimate in a way that Seungmin can’t describe. When Changbin is done, he shuts off the water and tosses the cloth to the side. Seungmin suddenly finds himself being pulled back by the waist to lean against Changbin’s chest. 

He turns to the side and looks up, trying to catch Changbin’s gaze. When he finds it, he’s met with an affectionate warmth that has him melting.

Domestic. That’s the word Seungmin was looking for.

“Aren’t you going to wash up too?” Seungmin asks quietly. He doesn’t know why he’s speaking like that, but it feels like if he speaks any louder, he’ll break whatever spell is binding them both at the moment.

“I already did right before you got here,” Changbin explains.

Seungmin snorts. “So did I.”

Changbin blinks slowly. “So you just let me give you a whole bath without saying that?”

Seungmin giggles a bit louder. “It felt nice. Besides, I was covered in my own cum,” he points out.

Changbin rolls his eyes, and Seungmin just keeps giggling against him. Changbin looks down at him again, thinking for a moment before saying, “You have a really nice laugh.”

Seungmin stops giggling.

“Really?” Seungmin can’t help but ask. He always thought his laugh was annoying. It drags out in a way that sounded weird to him, and he’s never been told it’s nice of all things.

“Y-Yeah,” Changbin responds, looking like he somewhat regrets speaking up. He must not fully regret it though, because he continues, “Your smile is really pretty too. Your teeth are cute.”

Seungmin doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to feel about these sudden compliments, his brain absolutely fried. His thoughts only short circuit further when Changbin’s hand comes up to cup his chin and brush his thumb over his lips. 

It’s all too intimate and it confuses Seungmin to hell and back, all the feelings rushing to the surface he’d tried so hard to push down. Not to mention his brain trying to convince himself this intimacy he’s feeling is shared, mutual, when deep down he knows what it really is. Still, Seungmin allows himself to indulge the sweetness of Changbin’s lips, if only just for a fleeting moment.

Eventually, Seungmin shivers and realizes it’s not from what they’re doing, but rather the realization that the water around them had run cold long ago. On that note, Changbin drains the water and stands, wrapping a towel around his hips and spreading another towel in his arms.

Seungmin hardly knows what’s happening before Changbin is picking him up again, securing the towel around his body. 

“You really don’t have to do this you know,” Seungmin comments as they enter the room. 

“It’s fun,” Changbin chuckles. “Besides, you can’t really stand, so, I kinda have to.” 

He sets Seungmin on the bed then goes over to his dresser, pulling clothes from various drawers. Seungmin dries himself off using the towel and Changbin sets a pair of clothes beside him. 

Seungmin slides off the bed and stands, hissing quietly when his ass burns again. He really hopes this pain doesn’t last long, he does not want to go home to his parents limping. That would not be fun to explain.

With some difficulty he pulls Changbin’s clothes on, which is just a black pair of cotton shorts and a black hoodie with a k-r&b artist he doesn’t recognize that fits him perfectly. 

“Do you wear any clothes that actually fit you?” Seungmin teases after pulling the hoodie on.

“Shut up. My clothes fit me fine.”

When Seungmin sits on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, his eyes fall onto Changbin. He rolls his eyes so hard he’s afraid they’ll get stuck. “That’s not even yours!” 

“We’ve been over this, it’s mine now.” Changbin hugs the baby blue hoodie drowning his smaller frame. He tugs Seungmin’s towel off the bed and crawls onto it into Seungmin’s lap. “Knew you’d look hot in my clothes.” He leans forward and buries his face into Seungmin’s face, the younger shuddering when he inhales deeply and says, “You smell like me, too.”

Seungmin’s head swims at that, blinking a little when Changbin pulls away. “Are you-Are you not wearing pants?” Seungmin realizes he is in fact, not, his thighs peeking out from under the hoodie.

“Hey, I usually sleep naked,” Changbin shrugs. “Figured we’d sleep soon, I’m exhausted.”

“Oh.” Seungmin blinks, he hadn’t thought- “I’m staying over?”

Changbin freezes. “D-Do you want to leave?”

Seungmin’s response is immediate. “No. I just need to tell my parents.”

“Oh.” Changbin visibly relaxes. “Okay, yeah. Of course. Wait.” 

He climbs out of Seungmin’s lap and finds his discarded jeans on the floor, phone still in the pocket. He tosses it to Seungmin and immediately settles back in the younger’s lap, making himself at home slumping against Seungmin’s chest. Seungmin prays Changbin can’t hear the way his heart is ready to beat out of his chest.

He texts his parents that he’s spending the night, receiving a pair of ok, stay safe, I love you ’s from both of them. As soon as that’s done and did, he sets his phone to the side and wraps his arms around Changbin’s waist, focusing on the smaller man in his lap.

They stay like that for a while, Seungmin playing idly with the fabric of Changbin’s-his- whose even is it anymore? -hoodie. Eventually, his tired body begins to win out, and his eyelids start to droop shut. 

“Seungmin?” Seungmin forces his heavy eyes open, finding an equally sleepy Changbin staring back at him. “Sorry I-My legs are starting to hurt from this,” Changbin admits with a bite of his lip. Fuck, he’s cute. “Can we lay down?”

Seungmin nods and shifts down, Changbin moving so he can easily move into a lying position on the bed. Changbin throws an arm and a leg around him, burying his face against Seungmin’s chest again. Seungmin laughs, albeit a bit nervously when he feels those emotions start acting up again. 

“Hey Seungmin?” Changbin mumbles into the fabric, catching Seungmin’s attention before he dozes off.

“Hmm?”

It’s quiet for a long moment. “I’m really...glad.”

“What?” Seungmin asks, confused.

Changbin sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. I just feel...I’m really glad we did this. I don’t know. I guess I’m just glad my first time is with you? That probably sounds weird. I’m sorry. I-” Changbin cuts himself off, going quiet.

“It’s okay.” Seungmin reaches blindly for Changbin’s hand at his side, finding it and squeezing it gently. “I’m...glad my first time was with you too.”

And he really means it. He wouldn’t rather have anyone else in the world than the boy curled up against his chest, blinking up at him with soft, shy eyes. He trusts Changbin so much his chest hurts and he feels dizzy meeting the older’s gaze. 

“Would you want to do it again?”

Seungmin doesn’t even have to think before responding, “Yeah. I would.”

“I-” Changbin goes quiet again. “I know this is kind of a stupid question to ask, but when this is all over, like, whatever is going on between us, we’ll still be friends, right?”

Something in Seungmin breaks at the words when this is all over. He knows this arrangement won’t last forever, that Changbin’s presence isn’t permanent, but hearing it uttered out loud makes it real. It means he has to face up to the fact that yes, eventually whatever is happening between them, will end. It’s inevitable.

But the next part of Changbin’s question just leaves Seungmin wondering. Will they be friends when this is all done? They’re two different people, probably going to go to different colleges, so inevitably, any friendship they keep afterward will most likely end as well.

But Seungmin doesn’t want it to end. More than anything, he wants Changbin to remain a constant in his life, even if it’s not like this. Just having Changbin be there is enough for him. He’s become so used to having Changbin around, the thought of him just not being there feels wrong. 

Seungmin considers his next words carefully. “We can still be friends...If that’s what you want.”

Changbin is silent for an agonizingly long moment, and for a second Seungmin stupidly thinks he’s said the wrong thing, that maybe Changbin doesn’t actually want to be friends outside of this. 

“Of course.” Changbin squeezes his hand. “I like you, Seungmin.” Seungmin’s sleepy brain awakens almost instantly at that, his heartbeat skyrocketing. Then Changbin adds, “I like this, but I like being your friend too.”

Oh. That stings more than it should.

“Oh, okay,” is all Seungmin says, trying to hide his disappointment. Why is he disappointed? 

“Sorry for keeping you up,” Changbin says with a yawn. “Promise I’ll shut up now.”

Seungmin’s lips tug upward in a smile at that. “It’s okay. Goodnight, Bin.”

“Night, Min,” Changbin giggles.

Seungmin closes his eyes, feeling all too warm with Changbin curled against his chest and a hand still tightly gripping Seungmin’s. 

-

Long after both of them are asleep, small smiles play on their lips, their hands remaining intertwined.

Chapter Text

Seungmin isn’t sure where he is when he opens his eyes to an unfamiliar wall filled with posters of various strangers staring back at him. It isn’t until he tries to stretch that he realizes something very heavy has attached itself to his body. Changbin. He had moved sometime in the night, tucking his face into Seungmin’s neck. Despite the different position, he still has a firm hold of Seungmin’s hand, even in his peaceful sleep.

Seungmin’s groggy brain replays the memories of the night before in his head, his cheeks heating at all of them, for two very different reasons. 

He uses his free hand to run a hand through his messy hair, pushing it out of his eyes and trying to focus his blurry vision on the alarm clock next to Changbin’s bed. It’s really early, only 6:45 in the morning. Then again, he and Changbin went to sleep early, which is probably why he’s awake at this ungodly hour.

He yawns and shifts, pressing his face into Changbin’s hair, shutting his eyes again. His movement however must bother Changbin, because suddenly the elder is rousing from his sleep.

Changbin pulls his face away from Seungmin’s neck, blinking at Seungmin with narrowed and unfocused eyes. “...Min?” he mumbles, voice thick with sleep.

“Morning,” Seungmin chuckles. 

Changbin blinks slowly, his brain seemingly having a hard time waking up and acknowledging Seungmin’s words. Eventually, remembrance sparks behind his irises, and the same blush that Seungmin had fought down minutes ago starts creeping up his cheeks. Then, he smiles.

“Good morning. What time is it?”

“6:46.”

“Holy shit.” Changbin twists to look at the clock. “Why are we awake then? It’s a Sunday. Sunday is the day of rest or whatever the christians say.”

Seungmin laughs again. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, I moved around a bit too much. We can sleep some more.” Changbin lays back, facing Seungmin. He stares at Seungmin for a long moment, before a small giggle starts to escape him. “What? What’s so funny?” Seungmin asks, amused.

“Your hair,” Changbin laughs softly, reaching up and brushing the stray wisps on Seungmin’s head. “It’s fluffy. You’re so cute in the morning.”

Seungmin turns away and smacks Changbin’s hand lightly, trying to hide his shyness. “Shut up.” Changbin just keeps giggling before leaning up, trying to press a kiss to Seungmin’s lips. Seungmin turns his face away again. “Uh-uh. No morning kisses with your morning breath. Brush your teeth then you can come back to me.”

“Min…” Changbin whines, pouting a little. “But that requires actually getting up…”

Seungmin almost gives in just from the look on Changbin’s face, but remains stubborn as ever. He’s not kissing anyone with morning breath, for his sake and theirs.

“Brush your teeth, then you can kiss me all you want.”

“Oh?” Changbin’s lips quirk up along with an eyebrow. “Then I can kiss you all I want?”

Seungmin sighs, immediately regretting saying that. Changbin practically drags him out of bed, suddenly not as tired as he was two minutes before. Seungmin limps into the bathroom after him, the dull pain not too bad, but enough to give him some discomfort when he walks. Changbin gives him a spare toothbrush and immediately gets to work brushing his teeth . Seungmin watches him in amusement, he’s never seen someone so determined to brush their teeth. As soon as Seungmin wipes his mouth clean of the white paste, Changbin is suddenly all over him.

Changbin presses him against the counter, caging Seungmin in and pressing their lips together in a minty kiss. Seungmin smiles into it, threading his fingers through Changbin’s hair. It’s surprisingly chaste, no heated intentions hidden behind it, they kiss just to kiss, nothing more. 

After a minute, Changbin pulls away with a soft smile. “Sorry, you just look very kissable in the morning.”

Seungmin blinks, unsure of how to respond. “Oh. Thanks?”

Changbin laughs and pulls away, leading him out of the bathroom. “Do you want to eat something? Now that we’re up.” Seungmin nods and Changbin pulls on a pair of shorts before leading him downstairs into the kitchen. The younger stands back while Changbin searches for something. “Um…Do you like waffles? That’s literally all we have.”

Seungmin laughs a little, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Yes, that’s fine.” When Changbin pulls a box out of the fridge Seungmin’s eyes widen. “Oh, you mean like we have to make them?”

Changbin scratches his head. “Yeah...my mom hasn’t gone grocery shopping in a while…”

Seungmin takes the box and examines the instructions. Okay. It doesn’t seem too hard.

“I think we can do this. How can we fuck up waffles?”

Twenty minutes later, they discover that they can in fact, fuck up waffles. They’ve scorched two waffles in the waffle maker already, the kitchen reeking of burnt batter. They’re running low on the batter too, and after another failed waffle, Changbin sighs and hangs his head.

“This...did not go as planned.” 

“I knew neither of us could cook, but I figured at least if we put our brains together we could’ve figured it out,” Seungmin laughs then dips his finger in the batter, sucking the liquid with a pleased hum. “There’s barely enough for another waffle now.”

“Ah crap,” Changbin mutters and unplugs the waffle maker. “I’m sorry.” He sounds genuinely so, even if it isn’t his fault there isn’t much else to eat. Seungmin dips his finger in the batter again, leaning forward and tapping it on the elder’s nose. Changbin squeaks and jumps back. “What-? What was that for?”

Seungmin giggles. “Just because.” Changbin huffs and wipes his nose, bringing his finger to the bowl with a mischievous sparkle in his eye and a growing smile. Seungmin squeals and tries to fall back, but Changbin’s arm snakes around his waist, keeping him close and gently bopping him on the nose with his slick finger. “Ah! No!” 

Changbin laughs and leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to Seungmin’s nose that has the younger giggling and a blush rising on his cheeks. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning it off,” Changbin responds, kissing his nose again then moving to his cheek, his other cheek, his forehead, all over his face. 

Seungmin laughs and tips his head back, his heart fluttering dangerously at the softness, enjoying the way Changbin’s soft lips tickle his skin. “Okay, okay. Come on. We need to clean up. Seriously.”

“No. You said I could kiss you all I want. Wanna kiss your pretty fa-”

Changbin startles back suddenly, releasing Seungmin with alarmed eyes. Seungmin opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong when he hears it a second later. Footsteps.

Changbin turns away from him and Seungmin wipes his face just as an unfamiliar older woman with her hair pulled back into a lazy bun walks into the room wearing a purple robe. She stares at them both for a second before asking, “What’s burning?”

“Sorry, mom,” Changbin apologizes. “I tried to make breakfast...didn’t work out.”

“Love, you should’ve asked for help. You know what happens when you try to cook,” Changbin’s mom chuckles, then her eyes slide curiously to Seungmin. Her lips pull into a smile. “Hi. You must be Seungmin.” She extends a dainty hand out, which Seungmin takes with a bow. “Changbin told us you’d be coming over. He was pretty excited. He talks about you a lot.”

Seungmin rises back up and turns to Changbin with a small smile and raised eyebrow. “Does he, now?”

Changbin turns ten different shades of pink and looks away, clearing his throat. 

“Mhm,” his mom hums innocently, not catching her son’s obvious embarrassment. Or she might, and just doesn’t care. “Hey, why don’t you boys clean this up and I go get something else instead?”

Seungmin protests, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I can eat later-”

“Speak for yourself, I’m hungry,” Changbin cuts him off with a nudge. “Do you like donuts?”

Changbin’s mom agrees to get them donuts, leaving them alone a few minutes later. As soon as the door shuts, Seungmin turns to Changbin with a grin.

“So you talk about me a lot, huh?” Seungmin teases. 

“God, she’s so embarrassing,” Changbin whines and covers his face with his hands. “I swear, I haven’t that much. Maybe here and there. Okay, maybe a little more than that, but-”

“What do you say about me?” Seungmin asks, genuinely curious now. “Obviously you can’t tell them we fuck around, so what?”

“Seungmin, you’re more than just someone I fuck around with, you know that, right?” Changbin stares at him oddly, tipping his head to the side a little. 

Seungmin blinks a little. Yes, he knows that, but the way Changbin says it is...he doesn’t know. Like there’s something else he’s missing.

“Yes…”

Changbin turns and starts gathering the dirty dishes before he speaks again, tone lighter. “They get curious about you, knowing I go to your house so often. So they ask, oh what’s so special about Seungmin? You know, teasingly. I just say I like hanging out with you. Which isn’t a lie. Maybe I’ve hidden a little truths here and there, but I tell them things you tell me. Like how you played baseball for nine years, or how you know a little English from studying in America for a few months, or that one time you won a talent show in seventh grade. Just, small things like that.”

Seungmin goes silent as he joins Changbin in washing the dishes in the sink. He barely remembers telling Changbin these very small, unimportant details about himself. The fact that Changbin remembers these little things has those butterflies flying wildly in his chest again. He feels important enough to remember even miniscule details about. 

“That’s…” he trails off, unable to find the word he’s looking for. He finds that happening a lot lately. Changbin saying or doing things that leave him speechless, incapable of being able to describe how it makes him feel. “Um. Cool? I guess. I just tell my mom you’re annoying.”

Changbin laughs, pulling back and giving Seungmin a look. “You’re kidding, right?” He is, but Seungmin just shrugs anyway, wondering if he can run with this joke. “You’re totally kidding. Fuck you.”

“Didn’t you do enough of that last night?”

Changbin chokes, actually chokes at that, the bowl he was washing slipping from his hands. He hangs his head and sighs, “I walked into that one.”

Seungmin grins and laughs, the two of them finishing cleaning their mess before Changbin tugs him back upstairs. It’s later in the morning, closer to eight now, but Changbin still throws himself into bed, pulling Seungmin down with him. Changbin buries himself into Seungmin’s neck and clings to his body again, mumbling something about being sleepy.

Seungmin runs his fingers through Changbin’s hair. “What about the donuts?”

“Wake me when they get here. Wanna sleep with you. Do not make a joke out of that,” he clips when Seungmin inhales to do exactly that.

“Why? Getting shy?” Seungmin pokes him in his side, the older jolting slightly.

“No.” 

The way he hides his face in Seungmin’s neck further, only proves he’s lying.

“Cute.”

“Can you just tell me when my mom gets back?” Changbin grumbles.

Seungmin laughs, “Okay, baby.” Changbin goes quiet, then pulls away, staring at Seungmin with big eyes. “What?”

“You called me baby,” Changbin says slowly.

Oh. Seungmin hadn’t even realized. It just...slipped out.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Changbin looks down, skin glowing just a hint of red. “You said it last night too, I just didn’t expect you to say it outside of um... that .”

“Would you like me to?” Seungmin asks carefully.

Changbin’s voice is near inaudible as he whispers, “Please.”

Seungmin’s heart expands in his chest, and without thinking, he leans forward and presses a kiss to Changbin’s forehead. “Baby.”

Changbin makes a noise and tucks his face into Seungmin’s neck again, his skin hot against Seungmin’s. He certainly acts like one. 

They stay curled together like this until Changbin’s mom comes back, handing them the donuts and allowing them to eat in the room, as long as they don’t make a mess.

After his second donut Seungmin is already regretting saying yes, his stomach twisting at the sweetness but his sweet tooth aching for more. Once they’re both finished, Seungmin checks his phone, finding a text from his mom asking what time he intends to be home.

He glances at Changbin. “Um...What time do you want me to leave?”

“You can leave whenever...Do you want to leave?” Although it sounds like Changbin is trying to be nonchalant, his hands nervously pick at the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“Not yet.”

Changbin relaxes a little. “Okay.” He lays back against Seungmin again, his seemingly favorite position now. “Okay.”

And Seungmin stays.

-

All good things come to an end, and eventually Seungmin does have to leave, not wanting to worry his parents by getting home late. 

After that fateful evening at Changbin’s house school starts to kick ass as the end of the year approaches, and they find it harder and harder to find time together with word and Seungmin having more events in the student council. The only times they can, are to work on homework together, and if they’re super lucky, a quickie on Seungmin’s bed. 

A few weeks pass like that, but despite the lack of time to themselves, when they are together, things are...different. Seungmin doesn’t understand what, but things have changed significantly. Their kisses are softer, touches more delicate, and the words exchanged are even sweeter, something hinted underneath it that isn’t driven by lust. 

The softness behind everything is driving Seungmin crazy, overthinking everything and having those stupid feelings bubbling up more and more, no matter how much he fights it. 

One day, he opens his closet, rubbing his eyes and yawning. When his eyes clear, he freezes.

There’s nothing there .

The only thing left is... Changbin’s clothes.

Seungmin runs a hand through his hair and sighs in exasperation. He hazardously picks up the jeans left, like they’re radioactive or something, and immediately notices two things. One, they’re brand new. Two, they’re Seungmin’s size. 

Seungmin glares into his empty closet. Changbin had left while he slept, sneaking back home so he could get ready or something along the lines of that. It hadn’t made much sense to Seungmin at first, but it does now.

The little shit planned this. 

He even went as far as buying Seungmin a pair of jeans that look like his own but would fit him... just to see Seungmin wear them. 

Seungmin picks up the shirt next. He recognizes it, and has seen Changbin wear it a few times before he started treating Seungmin’s closet like a thrift store. It’s a black shirt with a crescent moon and a skull sitting on it. Simply put, something Seungmin would never wear in his life. And last but certainly not least, that stupid fucking leather jacket Changbin used to wear all the time that makes him look like a dickhead. Even worse, it made him look hot.

With a groan Seungmin slips on the jeans- How the fuck does Changbin know his pants size? -shirt, and slides the jacket over his frame. It hugs him just a little bit, but otherwise isn’t a bad fit. 

When Seungmin glimpses himself in the mirror he has to do a double take. It’s the exact opposite of what he normally wears. With his soft pastel sweater collection and button up shirts, this is totally outside his range. He looks like a completely different person.

When he gets to school, he gets a lot of questioning looks, and he gets to his locker, Felix and Jisung stare at him open mouthed.

“Oh my god,” Jisung says while Felix simultaneously blurts, “What the fuck Seungmin, when did you get hot?”

Jisung cackles and Seungmin feels his cheeks burn crimson. “Hot?”

“The bad boy look does work well for you,” Jisung agrees with an approving nod. 

“Although, it really doesn’t look like anything you’d wear...But...Changbin has a shirt just like that…” Felix’s eyes suddenly pop out as he connects the dots with a gasp. “Are those…?”

Seungmin sighs and unlocks his locker, pulling out his physics notebook. “Yes. He stole all my clothes and left me only this to wear.”

“I’m confused, why would Changbin steal your clothes?” Jisung asks, eyebrows pinching together.

Seungmin shakes his head and stuffs his book in his back, not wanting to explain their arrangement. “He’s a gremlin.”

Jisung nods, not seeming to need any more explanation than that. “Makes sense.”

Seungmin says farewell to his friends before shutting his locker and heading down the hall. His eyes fall on a raven hair covered head in the sea of people and he pauses, a scowl coming across his features. Changbin spots him too, nearly running headfirst into someone and blinking rapidly at Seungmin from across the hall. 

When they meet, Changbin is breathless. “Woah.”

“Woah?” Seungmin scoffs. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

Changbin doesn’t respond, his eyes scanning Seungmin’s body shamelessly. Seungmin tries not to squirm under Changbin’s heated gaze not-so-subtly checking him out. 

“Changbin.” He claps his hands in front of the shorter, startling him to look up.

Changbin opens and closes his mouth a few times, looking a bit like a fish. Then, he finally says-though his voice sounds rather strained-“You look good.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrows. “Seriously? You stole all of my clothes while I was asleep and forced me to wear this. How did you even do that?”

“A really, really big bag.”

“You’re a menace,” Seungmin groans. “You know that? You have that much of a thing for seeing me in your clothes?”

Changbin’s teeth flash, tugging at his bottom lip thoughtfully. He gives Seungmin another once over. “Yeah.”

Seungmin hates the way his cheeks heat up again. “You’re giving me my clothes back as soon as we get out of school.”

“Oh, I will,” Changbin responds offhandedly, but still sounding like he’s not entirely listening. His eyes are wandering way too much today. 

Suddenly, he reaches forward, tugging gently on the leather jacket. “You know, you could’ve just not worn the jacket,” he says, finally looking up at Seungmin again. “Unless you really wanted to wear it.”

“I didn’t.” 

Okay, maybe it’s a bit of a lie. He was just a little curious about how he would look, and some part of him did want to indulge in Changbin’s weird fantasy, just to see how he would react. But not because Seungmin likes wearing his clothes. No way.

Changbin’s lips curl upward. “You and I both know that’s a lie. You’re too stubborn. You wouldn’t wear it unless you really wanted to.”

Seungmin glares at him. “You’re the one who stole my entire closet in the middle of the night.”

“I admit, I really wanted to see you in my clothes,” Changbin murmurs, playing with the zipper on his jacket. “Bad boy Seungmin is pretty fucking hot.” He leans in, voice getting low as he stares up at Seungmin with lidded eyes. “I’d get on my knees for him anytime.”

Seungmin jolts, warmth pooling in his stomach at the quiet admission. He wonders just how truthful Changbin is being right now. He looks around. The hallways are already nearly empty, the bell just about to ring. Only stragglers rushing past them are in the hall, paying them no mind.

So, he leans forward in interest, a hand falling to Changbin’s waist. “Really?” he asks in a low, condescending voice. 

Changbin blinks up at him, a deep flush setting in his skin. “Y-Yeah.” 

He’s a lot less confident than he was five seconds ago. That’s just how Changbin is. All bark, no bite. So cocky one second and then a stuttering mess the next.

Seungmin leans in closer to him, his fingers digging into Changbin’s waist. A needy whimper escapes Changbin, so soft Seungmin would’ve missed it if he weren’t so focused on him right now.

“I’m not even doing anything to you,” Seungmin murmurs incredulously, a smug grin spreading across his face. 

“You’re doing everything to me when you’re dressed like that,” Changbin breathes. “Wearing my clothes.”

Seungmin hums, tugging Changbin even closer. The bell rings overhead, but neither of them pay any mind. Seungmin can miss one class for this. He’d miss all of his classes for a chance to get Changbin riled up like this.

Seungmin tips his head and brushes his lips against Changbin’s cheek. “Why don’t we get out of here and you take them off for me?”

Changbin’s eyes widen and instead of responding, the hand already clenching Seungmin’s jacket takes his wrist instead, tugging Seungmin forward. Seungmin is dragged down the hall and into a dark, empty and unused classroom, Changbin’s hand bruising his wrist. 

As soon as the door is shut Changbin is crowding him against the wall, hands slipping under Seungmin’s-well, technically Changbin’s-shirt. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot in this,” Changbin mutters, his mouth coming to Seungmin’s neck. “Love seeing you in my clothes.”

Seungmin shudders, tipping his head back and letting Changbin drag his lips across the column of his throat. “More than you like being in mine?”

“...Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Changbin mumbles.

Seungmin laughs, his own hands coming up Changbin’s sweater, nails gently scathing up Changbin’s spine, eliciting a high moan from him. He lifts his leg and pulls Changbin flush against his thigh, Changbin’s crotch pressing into him. Changbin hips stutter, instinctively grinding into him. 

“I like seeing you all pretty in my clothes too,” Seungmin tells him. Changbin whines into his neck in response. His hands drop to Changbin’s ass, kneading it roughly and guiding Changbin as he ruts against his thigh. “Such a pretty little ass.”

Changbin groans, his hands clinging to the fabric of Seungmin’s shirt. He isn’t even kissing Seungmin’s neck anymore, just breathing heavily and letting out pretty little noises against his skin.

“God, please,” he whispers shakily, hips unsteady.

Seungmin smiles at the mess he’s already made of him. He’s hardly even started. “Please, what?”

“Anything. I’ll take anything. Just please.”

Seungmin hums thoughtfully. “You know, I’d let you bend me over one of these desks and fuck me right now if we had the stuff to do it.” Changbin chokes. “I guess we’ll have to settle for something else instead. What was it that you said in the hallway a few minutes ago…?” 

He slides a hand into Changbin’s hair, the shorter sighing for a moment before gasping when Seungmin tugs it hard, yanking him back and forcing him to meet Seungmin’s gaze. Changbin stares at him with a slack jaw and flushed cheeks, easy to see even in the dim lighting of the dark classroom. 

“Get on your knees,” Seungmin says softly but firmly.

Changbin’s bottom lip quivers as he inhales a shaky breath, but he immediately obeys, sinking to his knees in front of Seungmin. Seungmin keeps his hand tight in Changbin’s hair, his other hand coming forward to brush his thumb over Changbin’s lips.

Seungmin needs those sweet lips wrapped around him.

“I’m gonna fuck that pretty face of yours.” Changbin lets out a soft whimper. “Is that okay?” Seungmin asks gently after a second, needing verbal reassurance. 

Changbin nods feverishly, even in Seungmin’s tight grip. “Please.”

He reaches forward for the button and zipper on Seungmin’s pants, fumbling a little. Seungmin blinks at his sudden urgency, wasting absolutely no time in undoing Seungmin’s jeans and pulling him out. Changbin’s neediness always makes his head spin, knowing he’s wanted so badly by someone. 

Changbin’s mouth is around him so fast Seungmin isn’t given time to prepare himself. He’s enveloped in a warm, wet, heat without any warning, a shocked groan escaping his lips as Changbin slides up his length. Changbin stops about two thirds of the way up, blinking up at Seungmin through his lashes, waiting. 

Seungmin exhales at the look in his eyes, practically begging to have his mouth fucked. Seungmin adjusts his grip on Changbin’s hair and experimentally thrusts into his mouth. 

“ Fuck ,” he moans breathily, heat spreading through his stomach. He rakes his hand through Changbin’s hair, wondering just how much the elder can take. “Slap my thigh if you need me to stop,” he tells him, for his own peace of mind. 

That’s the only warning he gives Changbin before he starts fucking into his mouth again, not stopping this time. His thrusts start out slow and shallow, for his sake and Changbin’s.

Changbin feels amazing, and looks equally so. His lips are stretched all around him, his eyes fluttering shut as Seungmin sets a steady pace, fingers digging into the taller’s thigh. He looks blissed out having his mouth used like this, jaw completely slack, taking whatever Seungmin gives him.

“God, look at you,” Seungmin groans, hips stuttering faster. “You take me so well.”

Changbin moans around him, the vibrations sending electricity up Seungmin’s spine. Seungmin thrusts into him faster, chasing the intoxicating heat pooling in his stomach. Changbin makes more noise at that, high whines coming from the back of his throat as Seungmin starts to brush against it. 

Changbin’s eyes flutter back open, meeting Seungmin’s gaze with hazy pupils. Seungmin moans at the sight. “Aren’t you just the prettiest little thing,” Seungmin whispers in awe.

Changbin squeezes his thighs in response, fingers slipping into the rips of his jeans and digging deep into his skin. 

Seungmin feels himself getting closer and closer already, and while he tries to drag it out by slowing his thrusts, instinct wins out in the end. Soon enough he’s fucking into Changbin’s mouth relentlessly, slamming into the back of the elder’s throat with each thrust. 

“Changbin,” he gasps out after a while. “I’m gonna cum.”

He tries to tug Changbin off, but Changbin digs his fingers impossibly deeper into his thighs, refusing to move. Seungmin’s hips falter, realizing Changbin is asking him to cum down his throat. 

“ Shit ,” he curses out loud. 

A few more thrusts into Changbin’s mouth and he’s cumming down the elder’s throat, his entire body on fire. Changbin’s eyes squeeze shut and his eyebrows pinch together as he swallows every drop, his throat bobbing. Seungmin shudders and moans as he rides out his high, his head tipping back as he gasps out praises to Changbin. 

“Good boy.”

He slows to a stop and gently releases his grip on Changbin’s hair, pulling out of the elder’s mouth and tucking himself back in his jeans. He sucks in a breath when he looks back down Changbin. The elder’s lips are swollen to hell and back and shiny with spit. There’s spit dripping down his chin that he makes no move to wipe off. He has a far off, hazy look in his eyes as he stares up at Seungmin wordlessly, lips still parted and face flushed. 

Seungmin gently runs a hand through his messy hair before leaning down and pulling Changbin up. “Come here.”

Changbin comes to a stand and lets Seungmin turn him around and press him into the wall, switching their positions from earlier. Changbin whimpers and squirms when Seungmin puts a thigh between his legs again. He’s straining in his jeans now, fully hard, and Seungmin raises an eyebrow.

“You like getting your mouth fucked?” Seungmin asks smugly, pressing his thigh harder against the elder.

Changbin lets out a choked moan, his hands coming to clutch Seungmin’s jacket. He doesn’t respond, just arches into Seungmin and pulls him in, trying to bring their bodies closer. Seungmin presses his lips to Changbin’s neck, dragging his teeth along the skin. Changbin’s head falls back, bumping lightly against the wall. Seungmin almost asks if he’s alright, but Changbin doesn’t even give him the opportunity, moans flooding the empty classroom.

Seungmin shushes him and comes back up to kiss him quiet, meeting him in a rough and desperate kiss that does very little to calm Changbin down, but at least quiets him. Changbin gives in easily, kissing Seungmin back fervently but ultimately giving him control. Seungmin nips his lip, swallowing the moan Changbin lets out, then swipes his tongue across it in apology. Seungmin slips his tongue between the elder’s parted lips, all the while putting more pressure on his crotch with his thigh.

Changbin breaks apart from the kiss after a while, gasping and clawing at Seungmin’s clothes. “Seungmin,” he breathes. “ Seungmin. ”

His hips stutter against Seungmin’s thigh, cock twitching in his jeans. His thrusts become more frantic, and he whines a fit to wake the dead, suddenly pressing his face into Seungmin’s neck. He eventually slows and comes to a stop, the noises fading into heavy panting. 

Seungmin brushes Changbin’s bangs out of his eyes, examining the mess he’s made of him. Changbin sighs and leans into his touch, still coming down from his high. He’s so perfect like this, a work of art that Seungmin helped create. Something burns inside him at the sight, wondering just how much Changbin can take, just how far Seungmin can push him.

Seungmin presses his thigh into him again.

Changbin gasps, his body twitching from oversensitivity. “W-Wha-” he stutters, eyes widening when he realizes what Seungmin is doing. “ Seungmin I- ah. ”

“Is this okay?” Seungmin asks him in a hushed voice, searching Changbin’s eyes for any sign that it isn’t. 

Changbin’s mouth parts but no words come out, only little stuttering breaths. With no reassurance, Seungmin starts to pull away. Then, Changbin pulls him back in with reinvigorated strength, startling Seungmin slightly at the tight grip on his waist. 

“Don’t stop,” Changbin breathes, voice smaller than Seungmin’s ever heard. 

Seungmin takes one look at his glossy, unfocused eyes and presses into him again. He reaches down and guides Changbin’s hands off his waist, the elder’s strong grip immediately slacking and letting Seungmin guide them. He laces their fingers together and presses Changbin’s pliant hands into the wall, trapping him in. 

Changbin lets out a muted whimper, squirming against him, but not truly putting up a fight. He could easily overpower Seungmin if he really wanted to, he’s much stronger, and Seungmin isn’t holding him too hard. The knowledge that Changbin is letting him do this, submitting to him like this, spurs him on. 

He flexes his thigh and moves it methodically against Changbin, watching him whimper and squirm. His lips find Changbin’s neck, sliding down to nip and suck at his collarbones. He hopes he leaves marks, discretion be damned. He wants to see what he’s done, proof of how he’s wrecked Changbin when he’s done with him.

“This is what you wanted, hmm?” Changbin’s skin flushes everywhere his lips follow, burning. “Stole all my clothes and dragged me here just so you could fall apart for me.” He presses feather light kisses up Changbin’s neck, stopping at the shell of his ear to whisper, “You’re so pathetic.”

“ Seungmin, please,” Changbin sobs, body shuddering violently. “Please.”

“You gonna cum for me again, baby?”

Changbin just whimpers, his body seizing and spasming. Seungmin can tell just from his high whines and the string of cute little please ’s falling from the elder’s mouth that he’s coming undone all over again. Seungmin works him through it, letting him thrash and whine until he starts shaking his head.

“C-Can’t,” Changbin whispers, and that’s all Seungmin needs to hear to immediately pull away. 

Changbin’s body goes completely limp, starting to slide down the wall. Seungmin quickly releases the elder’s hands, wrapping his arms around his waist instead to support him. He lets them both slide down until Changbin is seated on the floor, eyes drooped shut, and head leaning on Seungmin’s shoulder. Seungmin gently maneuvers them so he’s seated in between Changbin’s legs, still supporting him all the way. He pulls away to examine him, slightly worried at how far gone Changbin looks. 

“Changbin?” he asks softly, reaching forward to push Changbin’s sweaty bangs out of his eyes. Changbin only sighs in response, leaning into the touch. “Hey, are you okay?”

Weakly, Changbin nods, and Seungmin relaxes. 

“‘M perfect,” Changbin mumbles, a small smile coming across his face, even with his eyes still closed.

“I didn’t…push you too far, right?”

Changbin finally opens his eyes, and Seungmin intakes a sharp breath. His irises are nearly gone, eclipsed by his pupils. They’re completely glossed over and hazy, and fuck Seungmin would be lying if he said it weren’t hot as hell how wrecked he looks. 

“No,” Changbin reassures him, his eyes softening and own hand coming up to cup Seungmin’s face. “I’m pretty sure I saw the gates to heaven when I came again,” he says with a dead serious expression.

Seungmin barks out a laugh, slightly too loud for the now silent classroom. Changbin grins weakly and drops his hand, curling it around Seungmin’s waist instead.

“You’re annoying,” Seungmin tells him with no bite to his words. 

Changbin only giggles and shifts uncomfortably, causing Seungmin to realize Changbin is sitting in a mess of his own cum. He starts to pull away, intending to get some tissues.

Changbin instantly clutches him tightly, that strength suddenly coming back yet again as he holds Seungmin back from moving an inch, even forcing him in closer. His eyes are wide and filled with panic, startling Seungmin at the intensity of it.

“Don’t leave,” Changbin pleads, voice cracking.

Seungmin blinks, his own eyes widening at this reaction. “I’m not leaving,” he explains softly. “I’m just going right there to get some tissues so I can clean you up. I’ll be right back in a second, okay?”

Changbin looks torn, and for a moment Seungmin really thinks he isn’t going to let him go. Then, the tight grip on his waist loosens, albeit reluctantly. 

Seungmin backs away and quickly retrieves a box of tissues from a nearly empty teacher desk. (God, he’d completely forgotten they’re in fucking school. And this isn’t even the first time this has happened.) When he gets back, Changbin pulls him in again, causing him to squeak and drop the box of tissues.

“Do you really want to sit in your own cum?” Seungmin teases gently. 

Changbin grumbles but lets him pull away again. Seungmin is as careful as he can be as he cleans Changbin up. He’s sensitive right now, whole body twitching when Seungmin so much as brushes a tissue against him. Seungmin murmurs an apology everytime he does so. It’s a little hard to avoid it, but he really tries his best. 

Once he’s done cleaning Changbin as best as he can, Changbin sighs in relief, slumping against the wall again. Seungmin tosses the tissues and sits in between the elder’s thighs again, letting Changbin wrap his arms around him and pull him in. Seungmin rests against his chest, quietly toying with the hem of his shirt. 

He doesn’t know how long they stay like this, Changbin holding him tight and close against him. Seemingly too long, because the bell for the next period blares overheard, startling them both. 

“You can…You can go now,” Changbin mumbles. “I get it if you don’t want to miss another class.” Despite his words, he doesn’t loosen his grip on Seungmin at all. 

Relatively speaking, Seungmin really should. He’s never skipped class before in his entire life, and he’s sure to get about a million questions that he can’t answer from his mom when she gets home. 

But as Seungmin stares at Changbin, at how small and vulnerable he looks right now, clinging to Seungmin like he never wants him to leave, he finds himself shaking his head.

“I’m not leaving you while you’re like this,” he murmurs, cupping Changbin’s face softly and rubbing a thumb along his cheek. 

Changbin releases a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

Seungmin presses a slow and gentle kiss to Changbin’s lips, the elder sighing quietly against him. Seungmin finds himself smiling softly into the kiss, pulling away after a long moment to brush their noses together. 

“Thank you,” Changbin whispers again, fingers brushing Seungmin’s cheek. “For staying.”

Seungmin’s heart flutters at the softness in the gesture, reflecting in the elder’s eyes. He leans into the touch, relaxing into Changbin’s body, any worry of school and anything outside of them fading into the background. They can all wait. 

“I’ll always stay.”

-

Everything is crazy now that his senior year is coming to an end, and all these extra feelings confusing him are physically and emotionally draining Seungmin. Thankfully, he manages to catch a break.

All seniors have the option to go on a field trip to a famous amusement park about five hours away, as if saying; Thanks for putting up with the shitty education system. Here’s a trip to a nice park to make up for all the students we’ve overwhelmed with stress from workload. Also, you have to pay for it.

It’s sad, really, but Seungmin can’t find himself complaining about getting a day off school. 

He and Felix show up together early at school, pairing into one of the buses meant to take the seniors to the park. Felix slides into the window seat and lays a sleepy head on Seungmin’s shoulder, blinking up at him with droopy eyes.

“Wake me up when we get there, please,” Felix murmurs and turns to sleep.

Seungmin affectionately pats his best friend’s hair, and leans back in his seat, idly watching other students walk by. He jolts to attention when he sees a familiar head of raven hair.

“I didn’t know you were coming on the trip,” Seungmin comments as Changbin stops in the seat across from him.

“It didn’t come up I guess.” Changbin shrugs. He’s kneeling on the seat and glancing around every few seconds, waiting for someone. Then he turns back to Seungmin with a teasing smile. “Need me to hold your hand on the big, scary rides?”

Seungmin snorts and Felix coughs pointedly from his shoulder. “I’m not afraid of roller coasters.” Seungmin’s eyes fall to a group of some of his friends at the back of the bus, watching him and Changbin with confused expressions. Upon seeing this, Seungmin turns back to Changbin, suddenly anxious. “Um, are you waiting for someone?”

“Yeah, Hyunjin. He slept a little late. Not a morning person.”

As if on cue, Hyunjin steps onto the bus, slumped over with exhaustion. Seungmin can’t help but laugh at Hyunjin’s appearance as he tosses his bag onto the floor. The taller boy then proceeds to collapse directly on Changbin’s lap, the significantly smaller boy squeaking and the air knocking out of him. Hyunjin stretches his legs out on the rest of the seat and leans against the window, eyes closing.

“Seriously?” Changbin says, still breathless, but he doesn’t make any attempt at pushing Hyunjin off. He even wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s waist to secure him.

Felix pouts from Seungmin’s shoulder. “How come you didn’t let me do that?”

“Felix, I love you, but I am built like a rigatoni noodle.” 

Felix snickers but doesn’t respond, sinking back against Seungmin and relaxing.

Seungmin glances back toward the back of the bus, but his friends aren’t looking his way anymore, to his relief. Even more relieving, Changbin’s squished position between the window and Hyunjin doesn’t allow him to bother Seungmin anymore. Seungmin feels strangely paranoid knowing his friends were watching him and Changbin interact. He wonders what they possibly think, seeing Seungmin interact with someone he was constantly bad mouthing months earlier.

He pushes it aside, assuming it won’t mean much later, and leans his own head back onto Felix’s. He falls asleep for most of the ride, the sun fairly high by the time he actually wakes up. He realizes Felix had woken up before him, placing the younger’s head in his lap while he slept so he wouldn’t bother him. Seungmin sits up, his back aching a little from the position.

“Morning,” Felix says idly, not looking up from his phone.

“Morning,” Seungmin echos and rubs the blurriness from his eyes. “How long until we get there?”

“About an hour and a half.”

At that, Seungmin rests his head back on Felix’s lap, yawning a little. His stomach growls angrily at him and he knows the first thing most students will be doing is going straight for the food. He rests his eyes hazily for the remainder of the ride, listening to the low hum of the bus and distant chatter of students as he drifts in that weird limbo somewhere between reality and dreamworld.

Once they arrive, they all get situated into the park and get a headcount. The staff and other PTA telling them to get back about thirty minutes before the time of departure for a final headcount. Then, they’re free to run.

Like Seungmin expected, most of the kids went to the various food places, and Felix tugs him right along with them. Since the park is just opening, the lines aren’t too long, and soon enough Seungmin is downing his much too greasy amusement park food with a satisfied hum.

When they’re full, they start to explore the park to see what their options are on what to do first. Naturally, they run into Changbin and Hyunjin on their journey, who had at some point been joined by Jisung. The tallest of the trio is holding a map and pointing at it, saying something Seungmin can’t make out.

“There are maps?” Felix says as a way of greeting, trying to get a good view of it.

“Yeah. Wanna go to the arcade section?” Jisung invites with an award winning smile that practically has Felix swooning. 

“Yes!” Felix loops his arm with Jisung’s and starts pulling him along, giggling like a pair of lovesick teenagers. Except they’re actually a pair of lovesick teenagers.

Seungmin sighs and lags behind, preferring being alone than third wheeling with those two. Hyunjin and Changbin catch up to him, but Seungmin feels a little left out with them too. 

Changbin’s talked about Hyunjin a lot before, and Seungmin is well aware of how close they are and have been since middle school. He stays quiet as he half listens to their conversation, half stares at the rides all around them.

“What about you, Seungmin?” jolts Seungmin out of his daze. He realizes both of them are looking at them now, and he hadn’t processed a word of it.

“What?” he asks dumbly.

“Anything you wanna ride?” Changbin asks, and the small glint in his eye and upturn in his lips clearly give away how his question has a double meaning. 

Seungmin almost indulges him, until he remembers Hyunjin is very much present. Instead, he shrugs.

“The Whirlpool looks cool.”

Hyunjin’s face pales. “Oh no. That sounds like a spinny thing. No spinny things.”

“I’ll hold your hand, Jinnie,” Changbin says in a teasing tone.

“Oh shut it. Don’t try to act cool in front of Seungmin. You’re just as much of a scaredy cat as me when it comes to rides,” Hyunjin scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

Changbin’s face reddens and Seungmin snickers at the way his best friend puts him on blast. They reach the arcade shortly after that, Jisung and Felix already battling it out over a game of air hockey. 

They get some chips for the games and Seungmin heads over to the skeeball. He’s always been pretty good at it, and wracks up a good amount of tickets before Changbin comes over.

“I feel like your sole purpose in life is to bother me,” Seungmin comments, no bite behind his statement.

Changbin looks offended, even gasping a little. “Wow. A guy can’t even skeeball anymore.”

“Your little comment on ‘anything I want to ride?’ Really?” Seungmin gives him a look. 

“What?” Changbin feigns innocence. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Seungmin. I was just asking a question.”

“Sure,” Seungmin huffs, tossing a ball into the pit. “Okay.” 

“You know, your mind must be making stuff up. Indirectly telling you what you really want.” Changbin rolls one directly into the 100 pit, shooting him a cocky smile. 

Seungmin glares at him. “You’re full of it.”

“Maybe. But I wish I were full of you instead.”

Seungmin’s ball bounces off the isle and knocks against his leg, but he barely registers the pain. He blinks and turns to Changbin, his face suddenly feeling hot. 

“Did you-”

“Hey guys!” -mean that dies from Seungmin lips as Felix slips in between them, wrapping his arms around both their shoulders. “Either of you have 8 tickets to spare? I want to get this prize but I’m out and coins and it’d be so annoying just to buy another ten-”

“Yeah, here,” Seungmin shoves the tickets accumulated from his skeeball game into Felix’s hand, urging him to get away before he starts ranting. “Knock yourself out.”

Felix looks surprised but decides against questioning it, bounding away with a smile. Seungmin turns back to Changbin, his curiosity still flaring from Changbin’s comment. Was it just a dumb joke to fluster Seungmin? Or was he really hinting that he wants that?

“Oh my gosh!” Changbin’s eyes suddenly widen and he pushes past Seungmin before the taller can ask. 

Changbin presses his hands and face against the window of a claw machine, lips making a small ‘o’ as he stares at the various stuffed animals inside with twinkling eyes.

“You know those things are rigged, right?” Seungmin crosses his arms.

Changbin ignores him and points to a golden puppy with its tongue hanging out. “That one looks like you,” he giggles.

Seungmin rolls his eyes. He’s heard the puppy comparison before. “It does not.”

Again, Changbin ignores him and slips a coin into the slot, trying and failing to get the previously mentioned puppy. After a few failed tries he sighs and pouts.

“Okay, you’re right. This shit is rigged.”

Seungmin feels bad, Changbin looks like a kicked puppy. He sighs and motions for Changbin to step aside, putting his own coin into the slot this time. It takes a solid three tries, but thankfully three’s a charm, and Seungmin successfully gets the puppy. 

Changbin gasps and pulls it from the window. He gently cradles it as if it were an actual puppy, and the thought makes Seungmin’s chest constrict. 

“You’re welcome,” he says nonchalantly, trying to ignore the butterflies already blooming.

“Thanks.” Changbin beams at him, hugging his puppy. “I’ll name him Seungmin.”

Seungmin doesn’t have the heart to argue with him with how infinitely happy Changbin looks just from the stuffed puppy. They keep playing other games for a while, Changbin even challenging Seungmin to an air hockey battle. Seungmin let him win by the way, since he’s so generous.

After they’ve tired out the arcade they decide to start going for the rides instead, Felix pointing out one of the tower rides that drops you a couple hundred feet. Hyunjin looks terrified out of his mind halfway through the line, and the closer they get the paler he seems to get.

Seungmin isn’t afraid of heights, but even he can admit a more than hundred meter drop is more than a little intimidating. Changbin is nervously shifting on his feet every so often as well. 

When they reach the ride and strap in, Hyunjin is making anxious noses and swinging his legs. He’s squeezing Jisung’s hand so tightly it looks painful, and Seungmin almost laughs. Then he turns to Changbin and realizes the shorter man isn’t doing much better. Though he’s quiet, he chews his bottom lip nervously, and he looks a little pale.

Wordlessly, Seungmin holds his hand out. Changbin glances down at it, blinking a little, then, he laces their fingers together just as the ride starts moving.

The ride isn’t so bad, usually the anticipation is a lot worse than the actual fall itself, but Hyunjin still screams the whole ride. Seungmin swears he hears Jisung muttering a prayer under his breath as well, probably more of how Hyunjin is about to break the poor boy’s hand than anything. 

Changbin’s own grip on Seungmin’s is tight, but not unbearable. When the ride finally stops, Seungmin can’t help but tease, “Who needed to hold whose hand again?” 

Changbin mutters, “Shut up.” He releases Seungmin’s hand.

Despite that, when they wait in line for the Viper, Changbin’s hand finds his own again. He doesn’t seem to be as nervous this time, but Seungmin doesn’t comment on it. 

After various rides, (and Changbin holding Seungmin’s hand throughout) the entire group is high off the adrenaline rush, laughing and goofing off in between each one. Jisung and Felix are hanging off each other like a bunch of stupid lovebirds, giggling at every little thing. Seungmin is a mix between disgusted and tired, because he honestly doesn’t know how they haven’t ended up together yet.

It doesn’t make sense to Seungmin when two people that very clearly like each other still won’t ask the other out. Like, how can they not see how much they clearly like each other? 

“Do you think they’ll ever get past this and actually get together?” Seungmin asks while the others are in the bathroom.

Changbin blinks thoughtfully. “I don’t know. They’re clearly scared to admit their feelings. They don’t want to be rejected.”

“But it’s so obvious they like each other!”

“Not to them. They might see the signs, but they’re probably thinking that they’re just overthinking it. I mean, would you want to accidentally make a move on someone thinking they like you back, only to be rejected?” Changbin laughs a little. 

Seungmin considers that. “I guess not. That would be embarrassing.”

“Just give Felix a little extra nudge. Hyunjin and I can talk to Jisung. We’ll go on seperate rides so we can get them alone. Maybe one of them will have the balls to do it.”

“Probably not Felix,” Seungmin mutters just as the bathroom door opens and his best friend skips out with a big smile. 

Hyunjin and Jisung trail behind him, and Changbin calls out. “Hey, I wanna ride the Zipper, wanna come? Seungmin wants to ride Zero Gravity but I don’t think I can do any spinny things right now.”

Hyunjin mutters something under his breath before plastering the fakest smile across his face and saying, “Of course!”

Felix looks over at Seungmin, frowning. “Do you wanna go alone?”

“No, come with me.” Seungmin takes his best friend’s arm. “Let’s have bestie time.”

Felix narrows his eyes suspiciously as Seungmin pulls him away toward the ride in the opposite direction of Changbin and the others. Changbin throws Seungmin a wink, which Seungmin sticks his tongue out at.

“Okay. Something’s up,” Felix speaks up a minute later when they reach the line. He steps away from Seungmin and crosses his arms. “You never do bestie time unless you sneak it in because you don’t want to admit you love me. Or unless I beg for it, because you secretly love me and can’t deny me. Now spill.”

“First of all, not true. Second, I brought you here because it’s time for you to ask out Jisung.”

Felix’s eyes widen, panic flickering behind his irises. “What? No. I can’t.”

“Felix, you like him a lot, it’s so obvious. Why not just try?” Seungmin tips his head, genuinely not understanding.

“Seungmin it isn’t that easy. I don’t want to ruin the friendship we already have. I don’t even think he likes me back-”

“What?” Seungmin exclaims, laughing a little. “You seriously don’t think he likes you back? Felix, he’s been hanging off you this entire day. Besides, if you never ask, you’ll never know. Don’t you want to at least try and have the possibility of being with him?”

Felix looks away, his fingers coming up to check his pulse like he always does when he’s nervous. His teeth pick at the dry skin on his lip, and he peeks back at Seungmin after a moment.

“What about you?” Felix asks quietly, his hand dropping to his side.

Seungmin frowns, bemused. “What about me?”

“When are you going to ask out Changbin?”

Seungmin’s throat closes in shock at the sudden question. “W-What?” he stutters, his stomach twisting into knots.

“Seungmin...Come on.” Felix gives him a look, but it’s surprisingly gentle. “It’s really about time you faced the fact that you have feelings for Changbin.”

“I don’t,” Seungmin mumbles, looking down.

“If you admit to me that you like Changbin, I’ll ask Jisung out today,” Felix insists, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Seungmin refuses to meet his best friend’s eyes. For a while he’s tried to ignore the insistent fluttering in his stomach and the warmth in his chest that he’s felt around Changbin. Seungmin knows what a crush feels like, but he refuses to allow himself to dive further into it. 

He’s pushed those feelings down and locked them in a box somewhere in his subconscious. Ever once in a while that box will tremble, his accumulated feelings ready to explode and be free from its cage. Felix’s words seem to awaken that forbidden box, the feelings beginning to seep from the cracks in the word and bubbling up to the surface of his skin. 

“I don’t,” Seungmin repeats, voice cracking. Even he doesn’t believe in himself.

“I don’t get it, you know. I really don’t understand what’s so bad about liking Changbin.”

“Nothing I just...I don’t know. We aren’t like that. We just hook up, nothing more. That’s all we agreed too. I feel stupid for-for taking it further.”

“It’s not stupid,” Felix reassures him softly. “You didn’t know who Changbin was before. This opportunity really let you discover for yourself what an amazing person he is.”

Seungmin’s feelings are coming on strong again, but they’re mixed more with fear than anything else. He very rarely gets crushes, more focused on schoolwork than other people, and liking someone as strongly as he feels for Changbin is a new sort of terrifying for him. Even the ride ahead of him with no proper seat belts isn’t as daunting as his newfound feelings.

“I guess. But I don’t think there’s a chance there.” Seungmin glances back at the way they came from, as if he could get a glimpse of Changbin even though the shorter is all the way across the park. He looks at Felix again. “But there is one with Jisung.”

“You think you have a chance with Jisung?”

Seungmin playfully pushes Felix’s shoulder, earning a giggle from the freckled boy. “Don’t be a smartass. Are you gonna ask him out or what?”

Felix suddenly looks nervous again, shifting the weight on his feet. “Um...I guess so. But like, how do I do it?”

“We’ll leave you both alone and let you do it.” Seungmin takes Felix’s hand and squeezes it. “You can do this, Lix.”

Felix smiles at him, looking a bit less anxious now. He catches something behind Seungmin’s head and gasps a little before grinning wider, his smile almost cat-like. 

“I have an idea.”

-

It’s stupid. And very cliche. It’s very Felix if you ask Seungmin, and he’s sure Jisung will eat it up. They both seem like hopeless romantics.

Seungmin leans against a decorative rock, a palm flat on the warm surface as he absentmindedly licks a snowcone. Changbin is sitting cross legged on the rock beside him, arms cradling his stuffed puppy. The line for the ride is a bit long, but Changbin, Seungmin, and Hyunjin don’t want to miss seeing Felix and Jisung’s reactions when one of them asks the other out. 

“Who do you think will do it first?” Hyunjin asks, squinting to look at the pair as they get closer to the ride. “My money’s on Jisung.”

“Eh...mine’s on Felix,” Changbin sniffs.

“Felix is a pussy,” Seungmin scoffs. “He may seem like he has game, but he’s useless.”

“Jisung’s the same though,” Hyunjin points out. “He’s all flirty, but can’t handle actual feelings. Maybe that’s why they work so well together. They’re alike in that sense.”

“Look! They’re getting on!” Changbin exclaims, tugging Seungmin’s arm and pointing.

Sure enough, Felix and Jisung hand their tickets to the staff member, both of them looking a little nervous as they sit in the cart, shifting a little. Felix had chosen the ferris wheel of all things to confess his feelings for Jisung, and the trio lean and squint to try to see their expressions as the ride begins.

“A fucking ferris wheel,” Seungmin mutters under his breath. “How dumb is that?”

Changbin elbows him. “Do you hate love? Be honest.”

“No. I just think it’s very cliche, asking him out on a ferris wheel. Like, is this Love, Simon ?”

Changbin snorts, “Hey that bit was cute. A little cliche is always cute.”

Seungmin hums absentmindedly, trying to see where Jisung and Felix are. “Sometimes. Very rarely. You on the other hand seem like a hopeless romantic.”

A few months ago, Seungmin would’ve thought the opposite. Now that he’s gotten to know Changbin much better, he realizes how affectionate the elder is, even with his friends. He’s clingy and needy and probably loves all sorts of romantic gestures from a significant other.

“And so what if I am?” Changbin crosses his arms with an offended whine. “It’d be cute.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes and doesn’t respond, focusing his attention on the ferris wheel again. Jisung and Felix seem to be talking, Felix gesturing with his hands a bit like he usually does when he gets excited. This goes on for a minute, Felix going on and on as the wheel goes round. Suddenly, Jisung surges forward and kisses him, effectively cutting him off.

Hyunjin cheers and claps, and Seungmin can’t help but smile. He’s happy for his best friend, and glad that he gave him that extra push of confidence.

“That’s sweet,” Hyunjin coos.

The kiss goes a little too long for Seungmin’s liking, and when the wheel comes back toward them he realizes the pair are now making out on the ferris wheel in front of everyone. His gratitude dies out rather quickly.

“I’m so violently homophobic.”

Changbin chokes on air, and glares at him. “I for one, am happy for them.”

“Sap.”

“And what about it?”

“You’d probably ask someone out on a ferris wheel,” Seungmin mumbles, shoveling his shaved ice into his mouth. 

“It’s a cute concept.” Suddenly, Changbin leans into him. “Wanna go on?”

Seungmin pauses, narrowing his eyes. He tries to ignore the implication of Changbin asking that right after Seungmin’s former comment, not wanting to get his hopes up. “No.”

“Aw come on Min. We’re gonna leave soon. Won’t you go on this one with me?” he whines and pours, jutting his bottom lip out.

As much as Seungmin absolutely hates to admit it, the pout has his stomach doing backflips, and he gives in much easier than anticipated. 

When they pass Felix and Jisung-who are now holding hands and smiling all giddily-they congratulate them. Felix’s eyes are dazzling, and he’s never looked happier. All teasing aside, Seungmin really loves his best friend, and he’s glad Felix has found someone for himself.

They continue walking and pass the trash can, Seungmin throwing his snow cone out. He stands in line with Changbin, the older bouncing on his heels excitedly. Seungmin watches him with somewhat of a fond expression. He likes seeing this side of Changbin, the joyous, carefree one just genuinely enjoying life. Seeing Changbin so content makes Seungmin feel warm. Changbin deserves to be like this all the time.

They reach the ride and buckle in, the wheel beginning to go round. Seungmin leans back in his seat, examining the view as they go higher and higher. Changbin swings his legs, and Seungmin snorts, fighting the urge to poke fun at the elder’s height.

After a minute of enjoying the view from up top in silence, Changbin suddenly pipes up. “It’s really nice up here.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin says absentmindedly, watching the other rides light up around them. 

He feels Changbin scoot a little closer to him, but when he glances over, the elder is observing the view as well. 

Seungmin thinks back to his and Felix’s conversation about his feelings for Changbin as he examines the elder’s profile quietly. He’s never allowed himself to like Changbin. Never allowed himself to delude himself for even a moment that there might be a chance the older likes him back. 

But now, as he sits and stares at the way Changbin’s eyes sparkle as he waves to their friends down below, he realizes his feelings aren’t and shouldn’t be based on the prospect of Changbin liking back. It’s not about whether or not Changbin likes him back, it’s about all the things that Seungmin adores about him.

As Seungmin’s feelings surge, he does nothing to stop them this time, letting his thoughts and feelings consume him. 

The first thing that comes to mind is how effortlessly beautiful Changbin is. The way the sun reflects on his eyes makes them a chocolate color, warm and sweet just like him. 

Seungmin’s body overflows with an indescribably warm feeling, and he wonders what he was so afraid of before. Something bittersweet fills him when he realizes yeah, chances are his feelings will never lead him anymore, but he can make Changbin happy too. He can make Changbin as happy as the older has made him.

Changbin turns in his seat, blinking when he finds Seungmin already staring at him. He smiles nonetheless, and Seungmin feels that gentle hug in his heart again. 

Say something, it says.

Changbin tips his head, wordlessly asking Seungmin his thoughts. 

Not today, Seungmin responds, but he still doesn’t pull his feelings back into the box, letting them roam free like they deserve. 

Instead, he leans forward and kisses Changbin like it’s the last kiss he’ll ever have on Earth. Changbin seems shocked at first, not responding for a good moment before he relaxes into it. 

Seungmin doesn’t care that people from his school could see them, or that three of his friends are below definitely watching them. For now, all he cares about is how amazing it feels, how electrifying and sweet Changbin’s kisses are. All he cares is about is sharing everything he feels with the boy in front of him.

Words aren’t enough, so Seungmin throws everything into the kiss, sharing Changbin every feeling he has at the moment. He wants Changbin to know how grateful he is, how alive he makes Seungmin. He deserves to know.

When Seungmin pulls away, Changbin’s cheeks are dusted pink, and he’s squeezing his stuffed animal in his lap.

“What was that for?” Changbin laughs breathlessly, tucking a piece of hair behind Seungmin’s ear.

Seungmin just smiles. “I just felt like doing it.”

When they get off the ride their friends are surprisingly quiet, though Felix shoots him a look that says, we are totally talking about that later. Seungmin’s response, like a mature young adult, is to stick out his tongue.

After the long day, they finally go to retire and head back to the spot the PTA told them to go when the day is done. Before they go, they each go to the bathroom before the long trip back.

Seungmin gets out first, and sits outside the bathroom as he waits for his friends. Unfortunately, he runs into a couple others he wasn’t expecting.

“Oh, hey Seungmin!” a group of students from the student council greet him.

“Uh, hi,” Seungmin waves a bit sheepishly.

“Are you heading back to the meet up?” Yiren asks, tipping her head a little. “You should come sit with us on the bus.”

“Oh I uh, actually have some friends already. You know Felix.” Seungmin rubs his arm, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. He glances back at the bathrooms.

“Oh. You’re not talking about Changbin, are you?” Mia pipes up. 

“We saw him talking to you earlier. I thought you two weren’t cool…?” Mingi frowns, looking more confused than anything.

“We aren’t!” Seungmin says a bit too quickly and a bit too loudly. He laughs nervously. “I mean, he was just bothering me. You know how he is…” Seungmin scratches the back of his neck. “He’s really annoying like that. Just won’t leave me alone.”

It feels wrong. Scratch that, it is wrong. He knows how wrong it is to lie and talk shit about someone he genuinely cares about...But this is the student council. Seungmin’s reputation matters to him, especially with these students. Besides, a little fib won’t hurt. Changbin won’t know, and he doesn’t have to. 

They all nod and murmur in agreement to Seungmin’s statement.

“Oh well, I’ll text you later about the trip,” Yiren smiles as her way of goodbye. 

“See ya!” the other students echo before wandering off again. 

Seungmin immediately relaxes and turns back to his original post. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he finds Changbin standing right behind, frowning deeply.

“Oh. Hey Changbin. Didn’t see you there...How long were you there...exactly?” Seungmin chuckles nervously.

Changbin is silent for a long moment, his expression unreadable. It’s so rare to have Changbin’s emotions not written out for him. The man expresses himself so immensely Seungmin can always tell what’s on his mind, but now, he can’t. And that terrifies him.

“Not long,” Changbin finally responds, leaning against the wall beside Seungmin. “I think we might have to keep Jisung and Felix apart, they can’t keep their hands off each other, even in line for the bathroom.”

Seungmin feels all the tension leave him at once. Changbin is acting fine. He’s fine. They’re both fine.

Everything is fine.

“...I’ll keep Felix in the window seat.”

“Might have to tape him down,” Changbin teases with a small smile. “Those two are going to be inseparable now.”

Seungmin laughs and as if on cue, the newfound couple exit the bathroom hand in hand. Hyunjin is right behind them, looking thoroughly tired of them already.

“What, did you two piss holding hands?” Seungmin snorts as they approach. Changbin cracks up beside him, and Seungmin feels proud to make Changbin laugh like that.

“Basically,” Hyunjin mutters. 

The pair just giggle and keep walking, swinging their hands as they do so. They reach the meet up place and soon enough are on their way home. When they reach the school it’s late, the sun long past set. Seungmin is exhausted to say the least, and he sits on the curb to wait for his parents. Felix’s mom was already here when they arrived, so he’s alone.

Until Changbin takes a seat beside him.

“Shouldn’t you be heading home?” Seungmin asks, yawning widely.

“I’ll wait until your parents get here, just so you won’t be alone.”

Seungmin smiles sleepily at that. “Thanks.”

“You know…I had a lot of fun today,” Changbin starts quietly. When Seungmin glances over, he’s staring down, playing with the stuffed puppy he’s grown attached to. “It was nice hanging out with you, and seeing my friends hang out with you too. I’m glad you all got along.”

“Yeah. It was really nice,” Seungmin says sincerely.

“I uh…I want you to have this.” Changbin doesn’t look at Seungmin when he offers the stuffed puppy. 

“But it’s yours!”

“You won it, technically. So…”

Seungmin shakes his head and pushes it back into Changbin’s lap. “Nah. I don’t want it. I won it for you, so be grateful. And hey, when you miss me, you can just hug it.”

Changbin’s lips quirk up amusingly at that. He opens his mouth to say something else but it's then that a car drives up to the curbside, and the window rolls down to reveal Seungmin’s mom grinning.

“Hi boys! Did you have fun at the park?”

“Yeah,” they both respond.

Seungmin stands and says goodbye to Changbin before slipping into his car. His mom bombards him with questions about his day that Seungmin answers tiredly, yawning in between each question.

Long after he’s reached home and showered and is tucked in bed, he hears his phone buzz. When he opens it, he finds a picture of Changbin cuddled up with the stuffed puppy in his bed, pouting.

Miss you already.

When Seungmin falls asleep, he dreams of puppies and Changbin and kisses that taste like a dash of sunshine.

-

The week after, exams arrive, and Seungmin spends all his free time studying with Felix. He knows spending time with Changbin would have him distracted, so he stays away until exams are over. 

As soon as they are, Changbin is stuck to him like glue yet again. Even though they don’t get the results of their exams for a while, Changbin reassures him that he’s sure he’s done well. 

He crowds Seungmin against the bed, murmuring something about deserving a reward. It doesn’t take a lot of convincing for Changbin to let Seungmin ride him until he cries.

Not literally, but he comes rather close, and Seungmin enjoys every second of it.

Their arrangement continues unbothered after that. With exams over, their schoolwork is finally calming back down and no new learning is really taking place with the school year coming to a close. 

With more time than ever, they’re finally able to make time for themselves. Changbin rails him proper a few times over the next couple weeks. He’s getting really good, learning exactly what makes Seungmin tick. Each time just gets better and better, Changbin taking the time to discover what Seungmin likes. What makes him so good is how much effort he puts into seeing what Seungmin likes, always checking and making sure Seungmin is enjoying just as much as he is.

Seungmin is more than content with the way things are going. He and Changbin are closer than ever, the sex is mindblowing , and school is finally letting up. Things are perfect.

The change that comes is something he didn’t expect, and it’s certainly not bad like he was expecting. He always expects things to turn sour when they’re so perfect for so long, but the view in front of him is far from the luck he was expecting to come his way.

Changbin had come over today, needier than ever. He had clung to Seungmin’s clothes and rutted against his thigh on the bed, whimpering into the taller’s neck. 

That isn’t what’s surprising to Seungmin. That’s just Changbin.

What’s surprising is when Changbin crawls into Seungmin’s lap and moans in his ear, begging for the younger to fuck him.

“Please, I-” he cuts himself off with a moan, rocking himself in Seungmin’s lap desperately. “I want you inside me. Please, Min. Please.”

Seungmin gapes up at him, speechless. His hands are frozen loosely on Changbin’s waist, and the gears in his brain stop moving for a solid moment.

Upon this reaction, Changbin pauses too, blinking and knitting his eyebrows together. “U-Unless you don’t want to. We can-We can do it the other way too. I’m sorry.”

When Changbin starts moving like he’s about to leave, the gears in Seungmin’s brain finally start functioning again. He grabs Changbin’s waist and keeps him grounded, stopping him from moving.

“God, I’m sorry, I just-” he stumbles over his words. “I-I didn’t realize you wanted that?” it comes out like a question, even though it technically isn’t. 

Changbin looks down, toying with the hem of the blue hoodie currently draped over his frame as he mumbles, “Yeah…but we don’t have to if you don’t want to, it was just a...just a suggestion, I guess.”

Seungmin has a lot of conflicting emotions right now, and it’s hard to really figure out what he really wants. One thing he does know, however, is that he wants to make Changbin feel good. Just like Changbin has always done for him. 

“It’s not that…I don’t want to,” he starts off slowly, reaching up to push Changbin’s long bangs out of his eyes to see him better. “I just haven’t really thought of it much. I thought we were fine as is.”

“We are!” Changbin exclaims, startling Seungmin. He shrinks into himself and says a bit quieter, “I mean, we are. I just…I don’t know. I really want to see what it feels like. I think about it a lot.”

Seungmin’s lip quirks at that. “Oh? You do?”

Changbin sees the look Seungmin gives him and whines, hiding his face behind his sweater paws. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Seungmin’s teasing smile and cocky attitude fades, and he squeezes Changbin’s hip. “Honestly, I’m down for whatever you want. I guess I’m just a little nervous.”

Changbin peeks at him through his sleeves. “Why?”

“You always do such a good job...I just don’t want to...disappoint you?” 

Changbin’s hands drop all the way, and he blinks at Seungmin with an unreadable expression before leaning forward and cupping Seungmin’s cheeks. He gives Seungmin a sad look, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

“Why would you think that?” Changbin asks softly, thumbing over Seungmin’s cheek.

“I-I just...” Seungmin has to break the intense eye contact Changbin keeps up with him. He suddenly feels vulnerable, like Changbin can see right through him, see all his faults and insecurities. “...I want you to feel good too.”

Changbin is quiet for a long moment, and then he presses a gentle kiss to Seungmin’s lips. “You always make me feel amazing. You could never disappoint me, Seungmin.”

“I hope not.”

Changbin shakes his head furiously, frowning deeply. “You won’t.”

Seungmin sighs and leans his forehead against Changbin’s. “Okay…Do you really want to do this?”

“Seungmin, this is all that’s been on my mind for ages. The only reason I didn’t come forward sooner is because I didn’t want to push you to do anything you don’t want to. And you made it clear you were pretty keen on bottoming.”

“Way to make me sound like a pillow princess,” Seungmin mumbles, turning a deep shade of red.

Changbin giggles. “I didn’t mean it like that. And I definitely enjoy topping.” He rests his hands on Seungmin’s shoulders and tips his head. “So...you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah. I am.”

His nervousness is still there, lingering. He’s just worried about fucking this up and-

“Seungmin, I can hear you thinking.” Changbin taps his temple. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” Seungmin whispers, looking up to meet Changbin’s eyes. “I want to make you feel good. Just like you always make me feel good.”

Changbin leans forward in his lap, pressing their foreheads together and brushing their lips fleeting against each other. His voice is barely audible as he breathes out, “Then fuck me.”

Seungmin shudders and nods, connecting their lips and pulling Changbin closer in his lap. Changbin resumes his movements from earlier, grinding down into Seungmin’s lap and whining into the kiss. Seungmin tightens his grip on the shorter’s waist and flips them over so he’s caging Changbin in with his arms. 

He slides his lips up Changbin’s cheek and pants, “When was the last time you fucked yourself open to the thought of me?”

Changbin shrinks under him, fisting the fabric of Seungmin’s shirt. “...Fuck...Last night,” he admits shyly, not meeting Seungmin eyes. “Been so desperate lately. Even cleaned myself up before I came here hoping you’d fuck me if I begged for it.”

Seungmin’s breath hitches, and he leans back, staring down at Changbin for a moment before reaching over and opening his nightstand. He fishes around for the lube and pulls the small bottle out. He sits back on his knees and hands the bottle to Changbin, who stares up at him in confusion.

“Show me how you do it,” he demands quietly, tipping his head to the side. “Show me how you play with yourself when I’m not with you.”

Changbin’s eyes widen at that, clutching the bottle to his chest. Then, he starts to reach down and push his pants off. Seungmin helps him, stripping him of his pants and boxers before moving to the hoodie. Changbin grabs Seungmin’s wrist and whines in protest, causing Seungmin to pause.

“Can I leave it on?”

Seungmin is confused, but he nods nonetheless. It’s only when Changbin spreads his legs and starts circling his rim with a slicked up finger that he realizes his mistake. Seeing Changbin slowly start to stretch himself open while looking unbelievably small and innocent in Seungmin’s clothes has Seungmin feeling way too hot way too quickly. 

To Changbin’s credit, he doesn’t get shy like he normally does. He keeps terrifyingly steady eye contact as he pushes his first finger in, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip and whimpering quietly. Even with just one finger, Changbin is trembling and squirming as he pumps his finger in and out of himself, sensitive as always.

He slips the second finger in surprisingly quickly, pressing both of them in with a moan. Seungmin has to physically hold himself back to stop himself from pouncing on the man in front of him. He looks really pretty like this, head tipped back and lips parted slightly, high whines and moans spilling out. Seungmin figures this is how he looks when he’s alone, trying to get some relief without Seungmin to help him. It’s cute, but also really fucking hot.

He traces a finger up Changbin’s thigh and the elder jerks a little, his thigh tensing in surprise. He relaxes quickly though, blinking up at Seungmin with hazy eyes. 

“You’re so pretty like this, baby,” Seungmin murmurs, squeezing his thigh tentatively. Changbin makes a keening sound at that. 

Seungmin keeps a hand on his thigh but makes no other move to touch him, watching to see how long he can pan this out before Changbin starts begging again. Not long it seems, because Changbin’s hips start rolling to meet his fingers and he starts whining louder.

“Seungmin…” Seungmin just hums coyly in response, tipping his head to the side a little. “Please.”

“Please what?”

Changbin makes a strangled, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “You’re being difficult. Stop it.”

As much as Seungmin would like to see just how far he can push Changbin, he’s uncomfortably hard in his own pants, and the desire to touch Changbin is too strong. Maybe another time.

Seungmin giggles and uncaps the lube, pouring some on his fingers and rubbing them together to warm it up. He gently tugs at Changbin’s wrist, signaling for him to pull his fingers out. 

“Is this what you want?” He circles two fingers against Changbin’s hole teasingly, applying pressure but not fully entering.

Changbin glares at him. “Seungmin if you don’t mo-” Seungmin pushes inside without warning, and Changbin’s words instantly die, a moan ripping out of him instead. 

Seungmin giggles and crooks his fingers, searching, almost immediately brushing up against the swollen sweet spot hidden inside the elder. Changbin cries out and arches off the bed, his arms coming up to cover his face as he gets shy. 

“ Ah. Feels so good,” Changbin sobs out, still hiding behind the sleeves of Seungmin’s hoodie. He moves in time with Seungmin’s movements desperately. “Love your fingers, fuck. Always wanted them inside me.”

Curiously, Seungmin uses his free hand to pull Changbin’s hand away from his face, lining up their fingers and giggling when he does. Changbin’s hands are smaller, (not small, his hands are normal...somewhat) while Seungmin’s are long and bony, just like him. It’s no wonder Seungmin’s fingers reach so deep inside him so easily. Even in proportion to Seungmin, his hands are a bit big, Felix always makes fun of him for it. Then again, Felix isn’t exactly packing in the hand department.

“So small,” Seungmin murmurs more to himself than anything. 

He doesn’t miss the way Changbin reddens and squirms. “Shut up.”

Seungmin does, but not before curling his fingers and pressing hard against Changbin’s prostate again. Changbin’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he makes another choked sobbing noise that has Seungmin’s cock filling out in his pants.

He pulls out and pours just a little more lube before pressing three fingers in. Changbin doesn’t even protest or ask him to stop, shutting his eyes and taking Seungmin far more easily than he should be able to. He lets out a sigh once Seungmin’s fingers are fully sunken inside him, even wiggling his hips a little impatiently.

“It doesn’t hurt…?” Seungmin trails off.

“God, fuck, it does. I just don’t fucking care. I’ve been waiting for this way too long. Just want you already.”

Seungmin frowns a little. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know, I know, I just-” Changbin tries moving against Seungmin’s fingers again, furrowing his eyebrows a little. “Wanted this for so long.”

“There’s no rush. Please Bin, slow down.” Seungmin slips his free hand under Changbin’s hoodie, squeezing his hip reassuringly. “You’re always taking care of me. Let me take care of you this time.”

Changbin relaxes and nods. “Fuck. Okay, okay.”

Seungmin waits a little bit before slowly starting to move his fingers again. Changbin whimpers and shivers violently, clenching around Seungmin’s fingers when the taller presses against his prostate again.

“Faster, please. I want-” Changbin begs.

Seungmin thrusts his fingers faster, staring at the way Changbin’s body sucks him in obscenely. He’s actually going to be inside him soon, and just feeling how tight Changbin is around his fingers is driving him insane. Changbin moans and squirms, taking his hand off his cock and fisting the sheets instead. 

“ Min. Please, please, please ,” he sobs. “Want you. Want you so bad. Please fuck me. Please.”

Seungmin exhales shakily at the pure desperation in Changbin’s pleas. Seungmin doesn’t let up, his nervousness overpowering him just for a moment. But Changbin continues begging, and Seungmin wants nothing more than to give him what he deserves. 

As he pulls his fingers out he swallows, nibbling on his bottom lip and reaching into the drawer to pull out a condom. While he’s undressing, Changbin puts his own fingers back inside himself, whining and staring up at Seungmin pleadingly. He only pulls his fingers out when Seungmin rolls on the condom and positions himself between Changbin’s legs. He watches, mesmerized for a moment at the way Changbin’s hole clenches and unclenches around nothing. He leans forward-

Then he hesitates.

Changbin blinks up at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I just…” Seungmin trails off. “...You’ll tell me if I do anything wrong, right?”

Changbin’s eyes soften. “Seungmin, if you’re worried about hurting me, you won’t. I know you never would. And if you’re worried you won’t be good, please don’t worry. You’re always amazing. I know you’ll be perfect for me. You always are.”

Seungmin nods along with the words, his cheeks tingling slightly before leaning over Changbin’s body and lining himself up. He pauses again, and Changbin stares up at him expectantly.

He doesn’t rush Seungmin, he never does. He offers a warm, gentle smile, patient as ever. Changbin reaches forward and offers a hand too, which Seungmin gladly takes. It’s then that he realizes he’s shaking, but when Changbin squeezes his hand reassuringly, it grounds him more than anything.

He squeezes Changbin’s hand in return before carefully starting to push inside. Changbin seizes up, and Seungmin has to pause for both of them.

He’s barely in, but his head is already spinning at this brand new feeling of being inside Changbin. He’s panting heavily to stop himself from bucking his hips forward into Changbin, not wanting to hurt him. He goes in slow for both of their sakes, remembering the stinging pain he’d endured at first during his first time. 

Once he’s fully bottomed out, he’s trembling a storm, his forehead beaded with sweat. Even with all the prep Changbin is so unbelievably tight and warm all wrapped around him and it makes his head swim. He presses his forehead into Changbin’s neck, trying to ground himself. There’s absolutely no way he can last long like this.

Changbin is dead silent, and for a second it scares Seungmin. Changbin is many things, but quiet is not one of them. Especially during sex.

Seungmin peeks up at Changbin, pressing their foreheads together and asking gently, “Hey, you okay?”

Changbin nods and chases Seungmin’s lips, kissing him sweetly before pulling away. “It’s just...a lot.”

“I know. It’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

Changbin’s eyes glow. “I trust you.”

Seungmin’s heart swells and he smiles a little, pressing another kiss to Changbin’s lips. Changbin sighs into it and runs his hands up Seungmin’s spine, leaving a tingling sensation wherever his hands drag on the taller’s skin. His cock twitches inside Changbin, and the shorter moans quietly, shifting impatiently under him. 

“Can you um, start moving? Please?” Changbin breathes against Seungmin’s lips, already sounding wrecked.

Seungmin nods slowly, sitting up a little so he has a better angle. He slides his hands up Changbin’s hoodie and takes a gentle yet firm hold on Changbin’s hips. He hesitates for a moment before taking one last glance at the expectant look on Changbin’s face and carefully sliding his hips out and back in again.

The response is instantaneous, Changbin moaning and clenching all around him and- holy fucking shit he’s so tight Seungmin might cum even earlier than he thought. When Seungmin pauses to recollect himself (he’s already thoroughly wrecked, but he won’t admit it outloud) Changbin scrambles for a hold on him.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” he repeats over and over desperately, his words stringing together into one mess of nearly incoherent babble.

Seungmin doesn’t stop. He tightens his hold on Changbin and thrusts into him again, gritting his teeth and shuddering at how absolutely wonderful it feels. Changbin wraps his arms around his neck and his thighs are tight around Seungmin’s waist, keeping him closer than ever. 

As Seungmin starts picking up a slow rhythm with his thrusts he starts wondering why the hell he never thought of doing this before. Changbin feels absolutely wonderful wrapped around him like this. It’s almost like a blowjob, but so much tighter and hotter and Seungmin can feel everything. Every ridge and clench and the way Changbin’s muscles constrict and retract. It’s so overwhelming but not enough at the same time. It’s not enough for Changbin either.

“More,” Changbin gasps out, threading his hands through Seungmin’s hair when the taller nails his prostate head on. “Please. Faster, Min. Please.”

Seungmin’s hips unconsciously stutter faster, and Changbin practically melts into the mattress. He’s shrinking into his hoodie, his mouth biting at the fabric of his sleeve and muffling the moans and whimpers that come out. His eyes are squeezed shut and he’s leaking precum all over the edge of the blue fabric, making a complete mess of Seungmin’s clothes. Seungmin really can’t say he minds though, not when the view in front of him is probably the best he’s ever had. 

“Am I doing okay?” Seungmin asks quietly, needing verbal reassurance.

“Yes. Yes. God yes.” When Seungmin slams into his prostate again Changbin sobs, “ Ahhh just like that. So good. Feels so good. Fuck, I’m so full. You fill me up so good, Min.”

He’s babbling mindlessly, teetering on the edge of incoherency, Seungmin hardly able to understand him. When Changbin opens his eyes, they’re big and glossy, lashes wet with unfallen tears. Seungmin shudders at how wrecked the older looks, thrusting faster into him.

“You feel amazing,” he whispers against Changbin’s lips, thrusting his hips faster. “So fucking tight.”

Changbin lets out a small noise at the praise, muffled when Seungmin kisses him. He swipes his tongue along Changbin’s bottom lip and slips it into the elder’s mouth. Changbin makes the prettiest noises into Seungmin’s mouth, trembling violently under him.

Changbin pulls away after a long minute, breathing erratically. “I-I’m close.”

“Wait for me, baby,” Seungmin murmurs, slowing his pace a little to keep him away from the edge. Changbin moans and clenches hard, Seungmin letting out a choked noise at the feeling of Changbin tightening hotly around him. “Fuck. You like being called ‘baby’ that much, huh?”

Changbin buries his face into Seungmin’s neck and mewls in response. Seungmin slides a hand up Changbin’s hoodie and thumbs over his nipple. Changbin groans and arches up into him, gasping quietly. 

He fucks into him harder, getting closer and closer to his own orgasm. Changbin’s arms tighten around him, the tips of his fingers sticking out from the fabric and his nails digging into Seungmin’s back.

Seungmin can see and even feel all the signs that Changbin is close. He’s holding himself back too, waiting for Seungmin so they can come together, just like the younger had asked. 

Seungmin takes Changbin’s chin in his hand, forcing him to make eye contact. “You gonna cum for me?”

Changbin whimpers. “Wanna wait for you.”

“Fuck,” Seungmin groans. “You’re perfect. So good for me.”

“Only for you,” Changbin whispers. 

Seungmin’s cock twitches inside him at the words. Only for you. The slightly possessive undertone has Seungmin’s gut coiling in a pleasant way. That paired with Changbin falling apart in his hoodie just brings Seungmin even closer to the edge. 

It’s dangerous. Very dangerous for Seungmin to play into the more possessive side of himself and pretend just for a moment that Changbin is his. But...he does it anyways.

He slides his hand up Changbin’s cheek and buries himself deep inside him, relishing in the low moan he drags out from the elder. He hesitates, before experimentally asking, “Only for me?”

Changbin’s eyes are closed, his face scrunched in pure bliss as he nods and leans into Seungmin’s touch. “Just you. I’m yours.”

Seungmin shudders and goosebumps scatter across the back of his neck. “God, you’re so pretty like this.”

Changbin’s eyes open wide and he sucks in a stuttering breath, “I’m pretty?”

“Always,” Seungmin murmurs. “My pretty baby. Such a little mess, just for me.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Changbin lets out staccato cries and sobs again, clenching around Seungmin.

He’s a stuttering and whining mess, most of his words incoherent to Seungmin’s ears. “Please. Please.”

Seungmin’s never seen him this desperate, and that’s saying a lot. He repeats his pleas over and over, please, please Seungmin, falling from his lips along with little moans. Seungmin doesn’t even know what he’s begging for, and Changbin doesn’t seem to know either, his eyes far too gone. His cheeks are slick with tears, falling freely from his hazy eyes now. Fuck, that’s so hot, Seungmin thinks dizzyingly. He’s a total wreck at Seungmin’s hand, looking so small and vulnerable under him. Seungmin sucks in a shaky breath, gently wiping away the tears from Changbin’s cheek with his thumb. More collect in Changbin’s eyes, thick and heavy, and no amount of wiping them away stops more from coming. Changbin squeezes his eyes shut and sobs brokenly, trembling violently under Seungmin’s touch. 

“Open your eyes,” Seungmin murmurs, holding Changbin’s face in place when he tries to turn away. “Look at me.”

Changbin blinks open his eyes, staring up at Seungmin through wet lashes. Seungmin exhales shakily, breathing out a, “Fuck,” at the state of him. More tears flood in Changbin’s eyes, and something tugs in Seungmin’s stomach. “ God, look at you. Such a mess. So pretty for me.”

“Please let me cum,” Changbin suddenly gasps. “I’m sorry, I can’t wait, I need- Ah- need to cum.”

“It’s okay, baby. You did so good,” Seungmin praises him gently. “You can cum for me.” 

“Thank you. Thank you.” Changbin reaches down and fists his cock at a rapid pace, moaning and squirming until he arches off the bed and clenches hard- nearly painfully-around Seungmin. He cums all over the front of his hoodie, his voice shaky and cracking as he pulls Seungmin close and whispers against his neck, “ Fuck. I love you.”

Seungmin’s heart practically leaps out of his chest and he gasps, cumming harder than he ever has before, releasing inside Changbin with a high moan. His hips stutter as he fucks Changbin through both of their orgasms. He keeps going until he’s fully spent, slowing to a stop and moving to pull out until Changbin’s arms and thighs lock around him.

“W-Wait. Don’t move yet. Please,” Changbin pleads quietly, blinking up at Seungmin with wide eyes. “Just...stay.”

Seungmin relaxes, laying down on top of Changbin, ignoring the sticky mess on the fabric between them. He’ll definitely need to use a stain remover on the hoodie after this.

As his muddled brain starts clearing and his body relaxes while coming down from their highs, his mind suddenly registers the words Changbin had uttered when he came. I love you.  

Seungmin’s head spins a little. Had Changbin really meant that? There’s no way he could. He says a lot of things when they mess around. What if it was just a slip up? Seungmin has to know what he meant, or else it’ll drive him crazy for ages.

He sits up a little, or he tries to, until he’s stopped by Changbin’s arms again, locked around him like a vice. It’s just a little hot how easily Changbin overpowers him in the strength department, but Seungmin would never admit that out loud.

“Binnie...let me go, baby.”

Changbin shakes his head stubbornly. “No. Like the feeling of you inside me.”

Seungmin shudders a little. Changbin’s warmth is comforting, the weight wrapped all around him making him feel secure. So he nods wordlessly, shifting so their position is a little more comfortable.

He breathes out shakily, trying to come up with something to say about what Changbin had said before. It takes a long time, minutes of silence between them as they calm down. Slowly, he comes out with, “Um...hey.”

“Hi,” Changbin smiles dopily up at him in return.

Seungmin is a bit distracted for a moment. Changbin looks pretty in his post-orgasm haze. His cheeks are sticky with drying tears and flushed red. Seungmin can’t believe he actually cried while getting fucked. Even worse, Seungmin finds that he’s even hotter like this, wrecked to absolute tears. 

He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts.

“I wanted to...talk about something.”

Changbin’s smile fades, and he looks down, frowning as he runs a finger through the mess on his hoodie. “Oh. I ruined your hoodie. I’m really sorry…”

“Oh no, that’s okay,” Seungmin reassures him quickly. “I’ll get the stain remover and run it through the washer later. That’s not what I was going to say anyways...I wanted to ask about...what you said...when you came.”

Changbin’s frown deepens, his eyebrows pinching in confusion. “What did I say…?”

“You-” Seungmin lets out a frustrated huff. “You don’t remember?” How could he say something like that and not remember it? 

Maybe it really didn’t mean anything...

“Not really…I just remember feeling good. I was...a little out of it. Did I say something that made you uncomfortable? Sorry if I did. Could you tell me what I said so I don’t say it again? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Seungmin hesitates. He’s not uncomfortable per se, (in fact, he’s pretty sure that’s what made him cum) more just...confused. 

“You kind of...said you love me,” Seungmin says quietly.

At that, Changbin freezes, his body tensing around Seungmin and making the taller cringe a little. “I…Oh. I’m uh...I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean-Oh my god.”

“It’s fine! I just,” Seungmin rushes to say. “I was confused?” 

Changbin is avoiding eye contact now, and shrinking into himself ever so slightly like he’s trying to get away from Seungmin. “I...guess so. I’m really sorry I don’t know why I said that I don’t know what I was thinking I was just really overwhelmed-”

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay,” Seungmin shushes him gently, cupping Changbin’s cheek. “I get it. You say a lot of things when you’re needy.” Changbin’s cheek heats up under his fingertips at that. “And sorry if I overwhelmed you.”

Changbin’s eyes widen a little. “No-I didn’t mean it like that. I meant like...overwhelmed in a good way. I guess I was trying to say I loved what you were doing and was...a bit out of it so I said it wrong.”

“Oh.” 

Seungmin feels weirdly disappointed. He doesn’t love Changbin. At least he thinks he doesn’t. Then again he doesn’t really know what love feels like, so how can he be sure? No, they haven’t known each other long enough. How long does it even take to fall for someone?

Seungmin is still somewhat new to even having a simple crush. The prospect of love...that’s a whole other ball game. And not one he’s currently willing to play.

“Sorry,” Changbin’s soft apology snaps him out of his thoughts, and Seungmin shifts above him.

His softened cock slips out by accident on his movements, and he’s briefly saddened when he loses the comforting warmth of Changbin. The air between them is a bit awkward now, the closeness they’d shared only minutes ago vanishing just like that. 

“We should clean up,” Seungmin says instead, pulling the condom off himself and tosses it in the bin next to his bed. 

Changbin nods and sits up, tugging the ruined hoodie off. “Do you want to shower?”

“Can you stand?” Seungmin asks worriedly, remembering what it was like after his first time. 

(It’s just a little bit embarrassing trying to come up with an excuse to your mother as to why you’re limping after spending the night with your friend.)

Changbin however, doesn’t seem so worried. He rolls his eyes and swings his legs off the bed. “Hate to burst your bubble, but your dick isn’t that big.”

Seungmin crosses his arms and yep, as soon as Changbin puts a foot on the floor he quietly sits back down, badly trying to cover up a wince.

“...Any chance you’re strong enough to carry me this time?”

Seungmin snorts. “Oh, so my dick is that big.”

Changbin glares at him from over his shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Aw, Binnie...I’m so sorry my massive cock hurt you,” Seungmin snorts, voice laced with a mock sweetness and amusement.

“You’re not helping.” Despite his words, Changbin is trying and failing to stifle a laugh, and it ends up becoming a cackle quickly.

Seungmin just giggles and ruffles Changbin’s hair, earning a small pout. “We can shower later once you’re feeling a little better.”

Changbin nods and lies on his back on the bed, relaxing against the pillow. Seungmin finds his boxers on the floor and pulls them on, handing Changbin his own. He wipes his torso with the soiled hoodie before placing it on top of his hamper, mentally reminding himself to wash it later.

“Can you get me one of your sweaters?” Changbin asks quietly. “I’m cold now.”

Seungmin glances at him before pulling out a gray hoodie with a heart on it he’d recently bought off amazon. He’d guessed the size a little wrong and it’s already too big on Seungmin, swamping his skinny frame, and he can only imagine how big it’ll look on Changbin. 

As soon as Changbin slips it over his tiny frame Seungmin lets a small breath escape from his lips. He always forgets how much seeing Changbin in his clothes affects him until he’s hit with the image of Changbin drowning in his new hoodie. The tiny heart sleeves cover Changbin’s hands entirely, and the elder reaches up and wipes his eyes with them, humming in content.

“Next time, I’m fucking you in this hoodie,” Seungmin murmurs as he kneels on the bed in front of Changbin. 

Changbin gasps and his face reddens. “You’re going to kill me.” 

“You like getting fucked in my clothes?” Seungmin asks teasingly, already knowing the answer. He adjusts the hoodie on Changbin’s shoulders absentmindedly, his collar bones sticking out from the loose fabric. He quietly admires how wonderfully small Changbin looks in his clothes.

Changbin squirms and avoids his eyes. “Are you trying to make me hard again?”

“You’re the one who wanted it,” Seungmin reminds him with a small smile, pulling him in by the waist. “It was pretty hot.”

“I swear it’s not like...a sexual thing,” Changbin quickly says. Seungmin raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Okay, maybe somewhat. But I like just wearing them too. It makes me feel...safe.”

Seungmin bites his lip, his chest expanding with warmth. He stops himself before he says anything mushy. He’s trying not to make things weird.

So instead he leans back and pulls Changbin into his lap, gently carding his fingers through the elder’s raven hair, which is messed up from earlier. He leans up and presses a few kisses along Changbin’s jawline, reveling in the way the shorter shivers prettily in his lap. 

“You’re so sensitive,” he whispers. Then, still a little high on confidence from how he wrecked Changbin, he asks smugly, “Is that why you cried when I fucked you?”

Changbin lets out a breathy moan when Seungmin drags his teeth along his skin, nipping at it gently. “Fuck, that’s so embarrassing. I-It just felt so good. I just…” 

“I think it’s cute how desperate you get,” Seungmin coos and runs his hands up Changbin’s bare thighs. “You take me so well. Like you were made for my cock.”

Changbin gasps and buries his face into Seungmin’s neck, trembling. “You are so trying to get me hard again.”

Seungmin maneuvers Changbin so he’s sitting on top of Seungmin’s thigh, the swell of Changbin’s dick pressed firmly against him. Changbin moans and unconsciously rolls his hips onto the soft flesh of Seungmin’s thigh, seeking the friction between them. 

“Don’t even act like it’s not working. We both know how needy you are,” Seungmin murmurs, a smile curling on his lips as Changbin gets worked up all over again.

Changbin whimpers quietly. “Seungmin…Are we really going to…again...?”

“Do you want to?” 

“I don’t-I don’t know if I can handle it,” Changbin pants, still rutting against Seungmin’s thigh. “But fuck…I want you to ruin me.”

The confession has Seungmin’s stomach swooping. His grip on Changbin tightens.

“Yeah? And how do you want me to do that?”

Changbin’s hips stutter, his cock swollen in his boxers on Seungmin’s thigh. “You can do anything you want to me,” he whispers, voice oh so small.

“Anything I want?” Seungmin’s voice is dangerously quiet, sounding foreign to his own ears. 

He’s already getting hard again in his pants. There’s something so sweetly intoxicating about how easily Changbin submits to him. The rush of power and excitement Seungmin feels every time Changbin goes completely pliant for him is something he never gets tired of. 

Changbin nods vigorously, his lip catching in his teeth. “Please.”

“Are you sure you’re up for this again?” Seungmin checks in gently, brushing Changbin’s curtain of dark hair from his eyes. “You seem kind of breakable right now.”

It’s not an exaggeration. Changbin is trembling, his eyes far away and terrifyingly vulnerable. He was already a mess the first time, and Seungmin is worried round two will certainly be too much for him. 

Changbin doesn’t seem worried though. His eyes glow defiantly, challengingly.

“Then break me.”

Goosebumps rise on the back of Seungmin’s neck at Changbin’s words. He maneuvers Changbin so the older is laying down on the bed, Seungmin caging him in with his arms and slotting a thigh between his legs. 

Changbin blinks up at him, his expression open and inviting, silently repeating you can do anything you want to me. He waits for Seungmin to make the first move, completely at the younger’s disposal.

Seungmin drags his finger down Changbin’s cheek, taking in his beautiful features. Then he takes a firm hold of Changbin’s chin.

“I will,” he murmurs lowly, before sealing his promise with a kiss.

-

Seungmin isn’t one to make mistakes often. He’s always been careful and calculating in all his actions. A word doesn’t slip from his mouth without analytical thought beforehand, and he’s never been impulsive. Seungmin has his flaws, but none of these specific things were ever anything he had an issue with in his life.

Unfortunately, Changbin’s presence always changed him. Sometimes for the better, others for the worse. Seungmin’s brain treats Changbin like a wild card. From the beginning, Changbin’s character always muddled him in ways Seungmin can’t even begin to describe. 

Seungmin isn’t mean. He isn’t impulsive. And he certainly isn’t thoughtless or careless in any way.

So why he keep fucking up in all of these previously mentioned departments when it comes to Seo Changbin, he’ll never be sure.

Honestly, everything was going great between him and Changbin for so long, and that should’ve been the first sign to Seungmin that something was bound to happen that would fuck up their relationship in some way. He just imagined something more realistic like a meteor striking the earth and wiping out humanity or something. Not his own careless mistakes.

It isn’t even one thing, or two, it’s multiple things that Changbin let slide for so long because he chose to believe Seungmin isn’t a bad person. He chose to believe Seungmin would redeem these flaws on his own. He believed in Seungmin, and Seungmin let him down. 

The breaking point comes on a much too normal day, but that’s when it always happens, right? Right when you let your guard down. 

Not even two weeks left of school, and Seungmin is exhausted. They’re wrapping everything up, but it’s going by so painfully slow. He just wants to leave this stupid place already. Other students seem to be done with school too, pulling out their phones and napping during class. Felix even brought a deck of cards today, gathering their friends in one class to play bs. 

(At one point Chaeryeong points and screeches, “ Bullshit !” at Felix far too loud for the mainly quiet classroom and they get banned from the game after a solid three rounds.)

While they’re playing a much quieter and very intense game of go fish, Seungmin suddenly picks up a couple students gossiping on the floor a few feet away.

“Did you hear about the fight?” one of them says in a hushed voice.

“Yeah. I heard Changbin got his ass handed to him though,” another one says disappointingly. “Hope he’s alright.”

Seungmin jerks up at that. Changbin got into a fight? 

He leans over his chair, ignoring Felix whining about how it's his turn. “He got into a fight with who?”

One of the students looks up at him in surprise, then shrugs. “Heard it was with two other guys last passing period. Don’t know what about, though. Just that Changbin is sporting a major black eye outside the principal’s office.”

Seungmin stands, his head spinning. He asks the teacher if he can use the restroom, receiving a careless wave in his direction in response. 

He hurries out of the classroom. The halls are mostly empty save for the occasional staff, and nobody pays attention to him running, his shoes squeaking on the floor as he skids to a stop in front of the staff hallway. There, hunched on the bench outside the principal’s office, is Changbin.

Honestly, Seungmin didn’t believe the students at first. He thought maybe another student that looked like Changbin got into it or something, or misinformation was spread. False rumors spread like wildfire in high school. 

But no. There he is, battered and bruised, holding an ice pack to his head.

Changbin doesn’t acknowledge him at first when he approaches, staring at the floor in a daze. When Seungmin stops in front of him however, he looks up, startled. Seungmin notes while his eye isn’t black, his upper cheek very much is.

“Seungmin?” his voice sounds weak, and his lip has the tiniest bit of blood on it that shines when it moves. 

“You-” Seungmin chokes a little, eyeing the principal's office for a moment before deciding it’s safe. “-You got into a fight?”

“No-It wasn’t...no,” Changbin shakes his head, voice cracking a little. 

“No? Changbin, you’re a mess.”

Even like this, in his terrifyingly beaten up state, Changbin manages to crack a playful smile. It’s all too similar of all the times he used to mess with Seungmin and act like a troublemaker. Because that’s what he is. 

Only this time, he’s gone as far as picking fights.

“Changbin, this isn’t fucking funny,” Seungmin snaps before Changbin can even make whatever stupid joke he’s thinking of making. “You’re seriously starting fights? A week before school ends? What’s the fucking point?”

Changbin’s smile drops as quickly as it came. “You-Came here to yell at me?”

“I came because I didn’t want to believe you were going around starting fights now. But honestly? I’m not all that surprised. This is exactly how we met. I should’ve been expecting something like this from you.”

Changbin’s frown deepens with every word that flies thoughtlessly out of Seungmin’s mouth. By the end of it, his mouth is a hard line, and his eyes are sharper than knives.

Seungmin is taken aback by the sudden change in expression, and he jumps back a little when Changbin stands, setting the ice pack on the bench. He’s never seen Changbin angry before, maybe frustrated at little things, but this isn’t that. It’s pure, raw, anger.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Changbin snaps, his hands balling into fists at his side. “No. Honestly, I should’ve expected this from you.”

Seungmin blinks when Changbin echoes his own words. “What are you talking about?”

“Ever since we met you’ve had some sort of fucking vendetta against me. You painted me as some asshole, drug-dealing, stupid kid, when you never even knew me!” Changbin throws his hands up to emphasize his words. “You always had a fucking issue with me, even when I was nice to you. You always thought there was some sort of hidden intention behind my actions when honestly? I just wanted to get to know you better. I gave you a chance Seungmin-no-I gave you multiple chances. I tried to convince myself that you’re a good person, and for a while, I genuinely believed it. But you don’t even care about me.”

“That’s not-” Seungmin stumbles on his words. “That’s not true-”

“Is it?” Changbin gives him a hard stare. “Because I thought I was just annoying and bugging you, right? I just wouldn’t leave you alone, would I?”

Seungmin’s heart sinks to his stomach as Changbin recants his words to the student council at the amusement park. “Changbin…I-I didn’t mean-”

“You didn’t mean it?” Changbin finishes his sentences and scoffs. “Then why did you say it? Why are you so embarrassed of being my friend? Am I not good enough for you?”

“No. I mean-Yes? I mean-Changbin-”

“You came here to yell at me. Not whatever bullshit excuse you came up with in your mind. You came here because you automatically assumed the worst of me, like you always do. You didn’t even know the full story. You didn’t even ask me if I was okay,” Changbin’s voice breaks a little at that, and he lets out a breath and looks down. “You want to know the full story of why I’m here? There was a little freshman getting picked on, so I stepped in. Naturally, they came after me. Thank you so much for your fucking concern though, since you didn’t even bother to ask what happened.”

Seungmin is speechless, frozen. He can’t believe he got it all wrong. 

“Changbin, I’m sor-”

“Sorry? Sorry?” Changbin laughs dryly in his face. “No Seungmin, a ‘sorry’ won’t cut it this time. I’m tired of you. Seriously. All this time you thought I was the asshole, but the only asshole here is you.”

He presses a finger into Seungmin's chest to punctuate his sentence, his eyes intense. He doesn’t look angry anymore, he looks...disappointed. Sad.

Changbin sits back down and raises the ice pack to his head again. He glares at the floor, avoiding Seungmin’s gaze.

“Just go away, Seungmin,” he mutters tiredly, his voice small.

Seungmin feels his eyes burn. He backs away, heart feeling heavy.

Fuck. Changbin’s right. He is an asshole.

Seungmin turns and walks away, leaving Changbin battered and bruised and alone in the hallway.

-

When Seungmin returns to the classroom sniffling and keeping his head expertly lowered, Felix is too caught up in a game with Yeji to notice his depleted mood. When Felix turns to say something, that’s when he notices his best friend’s tear streaked cheeks.

“Hey, what happened?” Felix asks quietly, setting his cards down.

Seungmin just shakes his head and brings his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and tucking his chin. He doesn’t want to start full on sobbing in the middle of class, and thankfully Felix catches onto that. 

Felix scoots over and brings their chairs together, letting Seungmin lean quietly against him as his tears silently fall. Seungmin hates worrying Felix, especially now.

Seungmin was the one who fucked up, he shouldn’t be sitting here moping feeling sorry for himself. But...it’s all he has the capacity to do.

The rest of the day is a blur, Seungmin’s mind completely out of touch with reality as he rests his head on his desk for the remainder of classes. Felix offers him a ride home with his mom, and while thankfully Seungmin’s tears are mostly dry now, Felix’s mom is casting worrying glances at Seungmin’s expression and silence.

Felix goes home with him, staying silent until they’re in Seungmin’s room. “...Do you wanna talk about what happened or…?”

Seungmin shakes his head, his bottom lip quivering and his eyes watering up, blurring his vision again. Felix’s arms open and he falls into them, burying his face into Felix’s neck and letting out the small sobs that have been trapped in his chest all day. 

“Lix...I fucked up,” Seungmin whispers shakily. “I fucked up so bad.”

“Min…” Felix rubs his back and runs a hand through Seungmin’s hair. “What happened?”

“I was such a jerk to him. Why was I such a jerk to him?” Seungmin asks no one in particular.

Felix pauses. “Changbin?”

Seungmin pulls away, sniffing and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He doesn’t meet Felix’s eyes, knowing he’s going to be met with disappointment. 

“I was so wrong about him. I always had it in my head that he was this asshole, and he never was. He took care of me when I was sick, even when I was rude to him. He took care of me after you and I fought. A-and right at the moment he needed me back I blamed him. I yelled at him and I blamed him.” Seungmin curls in on himself, shame washing over him. “Why did I do that? Even after getting to know him, I still jumped at the opportunity for him to be a bad person. It’s like...I wanted him to be the bad guy. I guess I didn't want to be wrong about my assumptions. I wanted to justify my behavior toward him in the past by proving he’s the bad guy. But why did I even make those assumptions about him in the first place? I just-” Seungmin rubs his eyes, taking in a shaky breath as his throat opens and closes. “I just don’t understand.”

Felix is quiet for a terrifyingly long moment, the silence suffocating. Seungmin braces himself for Felix’s disappointment. 

After the silence stretches out for a while, Felix quietly begins to speak. “Sometimes we do things that even we don’t entirely understand. What you did was really terrible Seungmin, and there’s no excuse for it.” Seungmin flinches a little at that, but he takes the cold, hard truth as it is. He’d rather Felix be honest than sugarcoat it and tell Seungmin that everything is fine, and that what he did was okay, because it wasn’t. “But,” Seungmin looks up. “I also know you, and I know that your mistakes don’t define you as a person, it’s how you own up and learn from them. Seungmin, you’re not a bad person. I know it feels that way right now, but you’re not. What you did was bad, but that doesn’t entirely define who you are. You can’t go back and change what you did, but you can accept what you did and why you were in the wrong, and try to learn from it to become an even better person. It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed in yourself right now, and to give Changbin his space, but eventually you will have to go and apologize to him.”

Seungmin stares at his best friend for a long moment, processing his words slowly. Eventually, he croaks out in his tired voice, “I don’t know if Changbin will ever forgive me.”

Felix sighs a little and rubs his eyes, suddenly looking a lot older than he did a few minutes ago. “Seungmin…Changbin cares about you. A lot. He may be angry right now, because obviously he has every right to be, but in the end, I really think he’ll forgive you. He knows you, and he knows you’re not a bad person. It’ll take time, but he’ll forgive you.”

“And what if he doesn’t?” Seungmin asks shakily, his throat closing at the terrifying thought.

Felix shrugs helplessly. “That’s his choice, Seung.”

More tears slip out as Seungmin’s mind tries to wrap around the thought of Changbin never forgiving him. It’s not that he wants Changbin to feel obligated, and Seungmin doesn’t need forgiveness. He just can’t fathom his life without Changbin anymore. 

He leans into Felix, slowly falling into his best friend’s lap. Felix rests a hand on his waist and uses his other hand to scratch his nails gently against Seungmin’s scalp. It’s soothing, something familiar and soft, but Seungmin can barely register it right now. Seungmin shakes and lets the tears quietly fall for a moment, before admitting out loud, “I like him so much, Lix.”

“I know.”

“I c-can’t lose him.”

Felix doesn’t respond this time, probably doesn’t know how, but for now, his presence is enough for Seungmin as he cries himself to sleep.

-

Life without Changbin after being glued to the hip for four months, is empty. Call Seungmin dramatic, but that’s just how it feels to him. He’s gotten used to being driven home and spending the rest of the day on his bed finishing his work with Changbin next to him bothering him. His house is all too quiet without Changbin making stupid jokes and his obnoxious (but cute) laugh paired with them. 

Seungmin finds himself glancing at the other side of his bed every once in a while when he’s in his room, like he subconsciously expects Changbin to appear out of nowhere with his haughty little smile on his too soft lips, poking fun at anything and everything Seungmin does. 

Every glance is a reminder that Changbin isn’t there, and that Seungmin might have lost the best person in his life forever. 

Felix comforts him, but it isn't the same. Seungmin loves Felix, but Changbin completed his life in a different way than his best friend does. Nonetheless, life drags on without him.

School comes closer and closer to the end, and Changbin avoids him like the plague in the hallways. Seungmin tries and fails not to note the fact that Changbin has stopped wearing his clothes, going back to his own colorless wardrobe. Seungmin feels a twinge of sadness now that he doesn’t see Changbin in his clothes anymore, having become so used to seeing Changbin in them. He pushes away his disappointment, keeping his distance from Changbin, despite his heart tugging painfully everytime he catches sight of him in the hallways and class.

A few days before school ends, Felix calls Seungmin, still holed up in his room alone.

“We’re going out,” Felix announces as a greeting. 

“Oh no,” Seungmin immediately responds. “I’ve gone to enough parties with you this year.”

“Oh come on. You need to get out. This is the last party of the year. Just seniors, and it's small too. Nothing crazy, I swear. I want you to get out of this moping phase. It’s just sad.”

Seungmin sighs into the phone, tapping his finger on his knee. “Felix…”

“Come on. Just one more. One last one for our high school memories?” Felix sounds like he’s pouting. 

Seungmin hangs his head, giving in with an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, okay.”

Felix squeals and claps behind the screen. “Okay, be ready in a few hours.”

“Wait. A few hou-?” 

Click. Felix hangs up. 

Seungmin rubs his face tiredly and reluctantly pulls on some decent clothes.

Felix arrives a few hours later, as promised in their short phone call. He shows up with Jisung, their hands clasped together and giddy smiles on their faces. 

“It’s at Minho’s, so we’re walking,” Felix announces, taking Seungmin’s hand too.

Seungmin lets Felix’s tiny fingers slide between his own, his best friend swinging their hands back and forth as they walk down a few streets to Lee Minho’s house. Seungmin knows him, not that well, but Felix is close with him, so he trusts him well enough. 

Minho opens the door with a wide smile, greeting Jisung first. Everyone knows they’re best friends, the closest friends Seungmin has ever seen. He greets Felix next, then Seungmin. 

Seungmin already feels a little awkward, not nearly as close to Minho as the other two with him. Minho whisks them inside quickly enough to make Seungmin forget. Seungmin relaxes when he sees that Felix hadn’t been lying, there aren't too many people, and Seungmin recognizes everyone. 

As he’s scanning the room trying to recognize faces, he catches the eye of someone that makes him freeze. Hyunjin is giving him a withering look from across the room, frowning deeply in a way that makes Seungmin shrink back and step a little closer to Felix. 

He’d forgotten about Changbin’s best friend to be honest. Of course Hyunjin would be mad. Changbin probably told him everything. Of course they both have the right to be mad, but now Seungmin is just uncomfortable.

To his dismay, Jisung drags both him and Felix Hyunjin’s way. Hyunjin thankfully turns his attention away from Seungmin to greet Jisung and Felix. He only gives a curt nod to Seungmin as a way of greeting.

Suddenly, Seungmin realizes that if Hyunjin is here, does that mean Changbin will be too? 

He anxiously looks around, trying to find the familiar head of raven hair around the house. He comes up empty.

He turns back to his friends, quietly lingering behind while they interact. Hyunjin is quiet too, but he doesn’t look at Seungmin, paying him no mind. 

Suddenly Jisung announces he has to use the bathroom, but judging by his tone and the mischievous smile he sends Felix, he most definitely is lying. Felix announces he’s going with him, just for a minute, then they disappear.

Seungmin knows enough about his best friend, his best friend’s boyfriend, and hormonal teenage boys to piece together what they might be doing. 

He’s not amused being left behind with Hyunjin, even just for a minute, but now Hyunjin is purposely avoiding his gaze and stubbornly glaring at nothing. Seungmin shifts on his feet, restless, already needing his best friend to come back. 

“You probably shouldn’t be here, you know,” Hyunjin suddenly mumbles, barely loud enough over the music playing and people talking. When Seungmin blinks at him he continues, “Changbin will be here soon.”

Seungmin flinches a little at both the idea of running into Changbin, and the uncharacteristically cold tone of Hyunjin’s voice. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Another uncomfortable silence lapses between them.

“...I should probably go then.” Seungmin purses his lips and turns around, pulling out his phone to text Felix about his absence.

He doesn’t make it far however, because a hand catches on his bicep. Hyunjin stares at him with uncertainty, his expression flitting between different emotions, like he’s trying to make a decision. Ultimately, he seems to make it. 

“Let me walk with you.”

-

Seungmin doesn’t know why he agreed to let Hyunjin walk him out. Maybe it was the look in his eye, the tone of his voice, he didn’t seem angry anymore. Or maybe he just couldn’t find it in him to say no.

Either way, now their uncomfortable silence has moved outside into the warm summer night, quietly walking beside each other.

“You don’t have to like...walk me home, you know,” Seungmin mutters, wanting to escape this awkward silence between them.

“I wanted to leave,” Hyunjin admits. “Besides, it’s safer to walk together.”

Seungmin gives him a quizzing glance. “Why did you want to leave?”

Hyunjin shrugs. “I’m really not a huge fan of parties. I’m pretty introverted.”

Seungmin blinks in shock, stopping for a moment. He would’ve never guessed that about Hyunjin. “Really? But you-”

“Have a lot of friends?” Hyunjin shrugs again, more tiredly this time. “No, not really. People just like me. I don’t mean it in a conceited way, I’m just overly friendly, and I come off that way too. I’m approachable. I don’t like starting conversations, but when people start one with me, I just feel bad if I stop them. Truthfully, most of the people that consider themselves my friends...I don’t feel the same way about them. Not in a rude way, I just like keeping just a few close friends at a time. They’re the only ones who know the real me.” Hyunjin’s eyes suddenly bore into him. “People like to make assumptions about other people. It helps us feel like we understand them better, but that only causes rifts. The only way to really understand each other is to throw out any assumption you have on someone and look at the real them.”

Seungmin’s shoulders come up a little, and he looks away. “You can say me, you know.”

“Seungmin, I feel like I know you and the way others, especially Felix, talk about you well enough to know that you’re not a bad person. I’m not going to assume you’re a shit person based on one negative thing about you.”

“You seemed pretty mad in there. Like you were beating me up in your mind,” Seungmin says.

Hyunjin lets out a faint, breathy laugh. “I’ll admit, am I mad at you for hurting my best friend? Yeah, of course. You’d be mad if I did something to Felix.” Seungmin nods a little in agreement at that. He’s admittedly gotten defensive over Felix before, especially since his best friend is a little sensitive, too sweet and just a tad bit too trusting for his own good. “But there’s a lot more that equates to a person than their mistakes, such as how they learn and grow from them. If two people make the same mistake, but only one of them genuinely apologizes and learns and grows to become a better person in the future, that says something.”

“So...you’re walking with me to tell me you don’t think I’m an asshole?”

“I’ve hurt Changbin too, you know,” Hyunjin admits solemnly. Seungmin blinks a little at that. 

“Right…he told me one time you didn’t speak for weeks last year,” Seungmin reminisces slightly.

Hyunjin gives him a questioning look. “That? Oh my god, no. He was definitely the asshole that time.”

This time, Seungmin actually does stop in his tracks. “Really?”

Hyunjin turns to him and laughs. “Well, of course he’s an ass sometimes. Aren’t we all?”

“Well, yes...but...I don’t know…it’s just hard to picture it. What did he do?”

Hyunjin stops laughing, frowning as he thinks. “Changbin and I are both really sensitive, so when we fight...it can get pretty bad. Of course, I know he isn’t always like that, and everyone has their asshole moments, but that doesn’t make everyone an asshole. Only the ones who do it repeatedly on purpose. Changbin is a really good person, but this was probably one of the biggest dick moves he’s ever done. See, even when we argue, we never say anything that’s like...personal. You know? There are just some things you just don’t say to people no matter what.”

Hyunjin turns and beckons Seungmin forward, signaling for them to keep walking.

“All our fights never really mean much. They’re all over dumb, petty shit, so we get over it easily. This time though…It was a little more than some dumb shit this time.” Hyunjin stops and suddenly sits by the curb, sighing like even thinking about the memory of their argument drains him. Seungmin silently sits beside him, waiting for him to continue. “I know a lot of people, and when you know a lot of people, you can’t please everyone. Even if you’re the nicest, most likable person, people will find a reason to dislike you. Because people are bitter, and jealous. You know I dance, right?”

Seungmin nods and Hyunjin continues.

“I wasn’t always good at dance. I was terrible, actually. When I first started dancing people told me I didn’t have to be good because I had a pretty face, and that lowered my self esteem quite a bit. I wanted to be seen for more than that, you know? But I started working hard and got better and better and eventually I became the coach's favorite. And of course, people were a little jealous of that. So…Naturally they would say things. Sometimes to my face, to make me feel bad. Changbin always defended me from those people. Until one day he didn’t.”

Seungmin blinks, “What do you mean? He talked about you behind your back?”

“No. He’s too honest for that. But he started making friends with people who didn’t like me, and it made me uncomfortable. Like, I know you can be friends with whoever you want, but I just...I don’t know. I didn’t want him hanging around people who were so rude to me, and I figured he wouldn’t either. So, I confronted him about it. Not in a rude way or anything, I was just like hey, I don’t really feel comfortable with you being friends with people that are nasty to me, and he got defensive about it. He said I couldn’t control who he was friends with, and looking back, yes he was right,” Hyunjin admits, leaning back a little. “I can’t control who he’s friends with, but in all honesty I wasn’t trying to. I just wanted him to know what those people had said about me, and I told him that, but you know what? He didn’t believe me. He said I was jealous that he was making close friends with other people.”

Seungmin is taken aback by the turn of events in Hyunjin’s story. It doesn’t sound like Changbin at all. 

“He said that?” Seungmin asks in disbelief.

Hyunjin nods and chuckles tiredly, “That’s not even the worst of it. We started arguing and I don’t even remember what happened, we were just going back and forth saying things, and then suddenly he goes, ‘You can’t sit there and tell me you’re the coach’s favorite person to put up front just because of your dancing.’”

Seungmin’s eyes widen. “What?”

Hyunjin is staring off somewhere, lips twisted into a deep frown like he’s reliving their argument all over again. “Yeah. I couldn’t believe he said that. Especially knowing that’s like, one of my biggest insecurities. By the look on his face I don’t think he could believe he had just said it either. Like, the second he said it he just stopped and got this look on his face like he knew he crossed the line. He immediately started backtracking trying to say he didn’t mean it, blah blah. The damage was already done. I was in shock really, I don’t think it really processed in my mind at first. I just kind of got quiet and then walked away, didn’t even realize I started crying. We didn’t talk for weeks, and hearing something like that from my best friend really got my self esteem down.”

Seungmin is speechless for a moment, mind still reeling.

“Eventually though,” Hyunjin continues. “We made up. I won’t say everyone deserves second chances because that’s certainly not always true, but he did. He was genuinely sorry, and I’ve known him for a long time and know that he’s not a bad person. He didn’t mean what he said.” Hyunjin turns to Seungmin with a hard stare. “You get what I’m telling you all this for, right? I’m not trying to make Changbin look bad, because he isn’t, it’s just that we all can be assholes sometimes without really meaning to. I know you’re not a bad person, and you’d never intentionally hurt Changbin, but you still did. As long as you accept what you did, understand why it was wrong, and try your hardest not to do it again, to prove that you’ve changed, I think Changbin will forgive you.”

Seungmin looks down, then back up. “You think so?”

Hyunjin stands, motioning for Seungmin to do the same, and they start walking side by side again.

“Changbin likes you a lot. All he ever does is talk about you, you know. He thinks you’re a good person.” Hyunjin goes quiet for a moment. “Can you promise me something?”

“What?”

“Don’t prove him wrong,” Hyunjin says quietly, glancing over at Seungmin. 

Seungmin’s heart twists painfully in his chest. “...I’ll try.”

“...You know, after everything happened…he was so willing to prove to me that he was sorry.” Hyunjin suddenly smiles. “One day he stayed after school with me during dance, and some of the kids were talking about me again, and you should’ve seen him. He went batshit crazy on them, in all his 166cm glory. Practically scared the living shit out of people twice his size. They never bothered me again.” 

Seungmin smiles to himself. That sounds a lot more like the Changbin he knows.

Hyunjin suddenly nudges him. “Hey. You like him, don’t you?” 

Seungmin feels his face heat up. “What?”

“That look on your face, I’ve seen it plenty of times. I’ve seen it a lot on Changbin too. He falls too easily.”

“Yeah, well, I think it’ll be a little harder to get him to like me after everything.”

Hyunjin purses his lips. “I wouldn’t give up so easily. You’re a good person. I know that, and so does he. He...really cares about you.” Hyunjin seems to be thinking of his next words carefully. “Before you were friends he just found you cute-” Seungmin’s face gets impossibly redder. “-but once you actually became friends? Oh my god he wouldn’t shut up about you. You uh...made him really happy, I guess. He admires you a lot. I really think he’s willing to look past your mistake. He’s a really good person.”

“I know,” Seungmin mumbles. “Wish I’d seen that a little sooner.”

Hyunjin smiles sadly. “Yeah. Well…we all do stupid things for who knows why…but it’s like I said. It’s really how you own up and change when you make those mistakes that count.”

“Right...Thanks.”

“No problem.” 

They keep walking in a semi-comfortable silence, Seungmin feeling just a little bit lighter. When they stop at Seungmin’s street, Seungmin turns to Hyunjin with a small smile.

“Thanks for talking to me,” he says earnestly.

Hyunjin looks more relaxed now, certainly a lot friendlier than he did twenty minutes ago. “Yeah. No problem. I just want Changbin to be happy, and I think you can do that for him.”

Seungmin’s heart flutters. “Hopefully.”

Hyunjin nods and starts to turn, then stops. “You know if you hurt him like this again, I’m going to have to kill you, right?”

Hyunjin smiles, showing he’s somewhat joking. Seungmin doesn’t smile back. Instead he nods and makes a solemn promise; 

“I won’t.”

-

Seungmin’s head is all over the place for days. His conversation with Hyunjin gave him too much to think about, and while he’s hellbent on apologizing to Changbin, he’s still unsure how exactly to do it.

On the last day of school however, fate seems to be Seungmin’s friend.

As Seungmin is walking out to the bus, his shoulders sagged in relief after surviving his final day of high school, he nearly misses the small figure standing by the door leading outside. He pauses and blinks at it for a few times, like it’s all going to disappear if he looks away for even a second.

Changbin’s face is carefully void of any emotion, his lips downturned and eyes slightly narrowed. For the first time since Seungmin’s really gotten to know Changbin, the word scary briefly crosses his mind when describing the older boy. 

The only physical thing on Changbin that reminds Seungmin of the person he really is, is the soft hoodie framing his body. 

It’s Seungmin’s.

Something flutters in Seungmin’s stomach at the realization. After all this, Changbin still kept and wore Seungmin’s clothes. A small sign of hope that maybe he’ll forgive Seungmin.

Changbin is the first to speak, his voice low. “Hey.”

“H-hi.” Seungmin shifts on his feet nervously. “...What’s up?” he adds stupidly after a moment of silence and Changbin’s dark eyes staring him down coolly.

Changbin doesn’t say anything for another moment, and Seungmin mentally slaps himself. 

Changbin looks away, disinterested. “Do you want a ride home?”

Seungmin’s heart rate speeds up considerably. It’s not really an offer for a ride home. It’s an offer to apologize. 

“Yes,” he responds all too quickly. 

Changbin doesn’t say anything, still staring at Seungmin with that terrifyingly unreadable expression. Wordlessly, he turns and walks out the door.

Seungmin is stunned for a moment, the gears in his brain stopping. Is that it? It’s when Changbin stops to hold open the door and glances back at him expectantly that Seungmin realizes he’s supposed to be following .

He practically trips over himself to catch up, hurrying to follow Changbin as the older leads him to his car. Once they’re seated comfortably inside, Changbin turns on the engine and places his hands on the wheel. He stares ahead for a long moment.

“You have from now until we get to your house to apologize,” Changbin says firmly, still not looking at Seungmin. Seungmin’s mouth falls open. Changbin sets the car into reverse. “Go.”

Seungmin is shocked into silence, all the things he’d wanted to say suddenly slipping from his mind and dying on his lips in terror. The realization that he has no clue what to say only further panics him. 

As Changbin leaves the school parking lot, Seungmin calms himself down and scrapes together the last functioning part of his brain.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing out of his mouth. 

“I’m sorry,” he continues, taking a deep breath. “For making assumptions about you when I didn’t even know you.. It was…really wrong and immature of me,” he admits in a small voice. “I should’ve gotten to know you before ever even coming up with an opinion of you. I had no clue who you really were and still made all of these things about you in my head, and it was stupid. I was missing out on a really amazing friend because I wanted to paint you as someone you’re not, and I’m so sorry for that. I’m sorry for treating you like you were my enemy when you were never anything but kind to me. I always assumed the worst of you, even though you never did anything to me. I should’ve been more mature and instead I was an asshole to you for no reason. I’m sorry for talking shit about you and trying to make you seem bad for my own personal gain. I shouldn’t have worried about what other people think because it doesn’t matter what they think. It never has and it never will. All that matters is who you really are.”

Seungmin looks down at his own hands in his lap, his fingers tapping together. Then he looks up and fixes his eyes on Changbin’s side profile. 

“I promise from now on I’ll never make assumptions about you, or anyone for that matter. I’ll learn everything there is to know about you and how to appreciate you and be the best friend I can be.”

Changbin’s eyes flicker to the side, like he wants to look over, but at the last moment catches himself. The only break in the cold mask he’s put on. 

Seungmin continues. “I know that what I did was wrong, and I’ll try-no, I will do better from now on and won’t make the same choices again. I’m sorry…for everything.”

Changbin is eerily quiet, still not looking away from the road. Seungmin sits nervously for the rest of the ride, which isn’t very long, and soon enough they’re pulling into Seungmin’s driveway. He puts the car into park and sighs, leaning back in his seat. Seungmin swallows, his stomach churning unpleasantly.

Finally, Changbin turns to look at him. 

He examines Seungmin’s face, saying nothing for a long moment. Then, he takes a deep breath, his eyes closing and he leans back. 

“Seungmin…” he begins quietly. “In all honesty...I was going to forgive you no matter what.”

When he opens his eyes again, he turns and smiles at Seungmin. It’s a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“W-What?”

Changbin chuckles, then he frowns. “I was...I was mad. Obviously. And disappointed, really disappointed in you. I was really more disappointed than anything. But…I know you, Seungmin.” Changbin tips his head. “I know you’re not a bad person. I know you don’t…try to be mean on purpose. You had a bad perspective of me, but even then you changed, and you were kind to me. I’ll be honest, you were a total dick at first, and in the end, but I still...I don’t know. I still knew you weren’t a bad person.”

“You gave me a chance even when I was an asshole,” Seungmin murmurs. “Thanks for that, really.”

Changbin smiles. “I’m glad I did. You’re really fun to be around, you know, when you’re not a total dick.”

Seungmin laughs at that, but it’s accompanied by a churning feeling in his stomach. He looks down a little.  “I’m sorry, really.”

“It’s okay. I know you are, and I know that now that it’s all over, you won’t do it again. I trust you, Seungmin.”

Seungmin looks up again. “You do? Even after everything?”

“There were good times, Seungmin.” Changbin’s smile softens, his gaze turning nostalgic. “I didn’t only hang out with you to hook up...I like you. I really like you.”

Seungmin’s heart stops beating. 

“I really like being your friend,” Changbin continues. 

Seungmin’s heart drops and he swallows, nodding his head. Of course that’s what Changbin meant. Why would he confess to Seungmin now, after they fought? 

Why would he confess to Seungmin at all?

“And I want to stay your friend.”

“I do too.” 

And while Seungmin really means it, there’s a tightness in his chest, a silent reminder that he wants more, but he won’t have that.

“Then let’s start again,” Changbin offers. 

Seungmin nods and smiles a little, though his chest still feels tight. “Yeah.” It’s quiet for a few seconds, then Seungmin unbuckles, placing his hand on the car door and grabbing his backpack. “...Do you want to come inside?” he asks hesitantly, not knowing whether or not Changbin is comfortable hanging out again just yet.

Changbin smiles, but it’s apologetic. “Sorry, my parents want me home tonight. Last day of high school and they’re making it a big deal.” Seungmin nods understandably and opens the door, getting ready to say his goodbyes. Then Changbin suddenly adds, “Tomorrow?”

Seungmin looks back at that in surprise. “I-Sure,” he stumbles a little, his heart beating giddily. 

Changbin keeps that same genuine smile, though it seems brighter now. He smiles like he doesn’t even know how much that stupid smile affects Seungmin’s heart.

“Bye,” he says shyly.

Seungmin just nods quickly and shuts the door just as his face heats up before he says or does something incredibly stupid. When he reaches his house he closes the door and leans against it, a relieved smile finding its way onto his face.

They’re okay.

His mom peeks her head out of the kitchen. “How was your last day of high school?” she asks brightly, then pauses. “What’s that smile for? Did something happen?”

Seungmin shakes his head, but is unable to shake the smile. “Nope.” He looks to the side, trying to peer at Changbin through the window by the door, still sitting in the driveway.

“Just happy it’s all over.”

-

Changbin doesn’t end up coming over the next day, tied up with visiting family congratulating him on graduating. He doesn’t end up coming over the day after either, because Seungmin’s own family starts coming around.

Nearly a week after they make up, Seungmin receives a text that has his heart soaring.

Changbin: do u want to come over? 

Seungmin gets far too giddy for his own good, immediately saying yes. He knows it’s stupid to get so excited over something as simple as a hang out. He knows they won’t even do anything, but that’s not what he’s excited about. Spending time with Changbin is more than enough, especially after they haven’t hung out in what feels like forever. 

They do hang out, all day actually. At first it’s awkward, some silences and distance put between them. But eventually...they click all over again. Changbin’s smile starts to soften and his laugh becomes more prominent. 

They still keep that small distance between them, a silent agreement that diving headfirst into sexual activity again after such a rift in their relationship probably isn’t a good idea. Seungmin doesn’t mind that, like he said, just being with Changbin is enough.

What hurts however, is how he can’t touch Changbin like he used to. Not in the sexual way, but the...softer ones. Like when Changbin used to lean into him, tucking his face into Seungmin’s neck. When he used to crawl into Seungmin’s lap and hug him, usually when he’s sleepy. When he used to lay on top of Seungmin’s chest and play with his fingers absentmindedly, listening to the steady beat of Seungmin’s heart. 

Now, there’s at least half a meter between them at all times.

No gentle cupping of cheeks. No loose arms around the shoulder. No laughing into each other’s necks. No sweet kisses in between giggles. 

Seungmin never really thought much of the softer touches before, trying to store them away and hide them just like his feelings. But now that he’s without them, their absence is loud. 

There’s too many moments where Seungmin just wants to brush Changbin’s bangs from his eyes so he can see them sparkle before kissing his sweet, soft lips. Too many moments where Seungmin finds his hand start to move on their own accord, driven purely by instinct at this point, and having to immediately stop himself. How can he not want to kiss Changbin when he walks around with such a beautiful smile and laugh? 

He makes it somehow without slipping up, and all too soon he’s going home with nothing more than a smile and a wave goodbye. Something warm blooms in his heart at the steps he’s gained, while something else shatters at what he’s lost.

-

Seungmin’s parents make a huge deal about his graduation. He has to explain to them multiple times that he doesn’t even receive his actual diploma onstage, it comes in the mail later. Neither of them seem to listen or care.

Felix is equally ecstatic, coming over to Seungmin’s house far too early in the morning to “prepare for their big day”. He cakes Seungmin’s face with makeup even as the taller whines the whole time. Unfortunately, he can’t just say no when Felix pulls out his puppy eyes, and those same eyes sparkle happily when Seungmin gives in, spreading eyeshadow onto Seungmin’s awaiting eyelids.

Seungmin really wishes his best friend would stop falling down youtube rabbit holes. How on earth did he make it to MUA-tube? 

“You’re going to be the third sexiest bitch in the room for graduation,” Felix declares.

Seungmin chuckles, “Third?”

“After Jisung and I, of course.” Felix grins, beginning to apply his own makeup.

Seungmin laughs and lets his best friend work on his makeup in peace, heading back into his room to examine his cap and gown. He runs a hand over the soft fabric, pride bubbling in his chest when he realizes that wow, he really survived all of high school. Memories flash past his eyes, reminding him of both the good and bad in the past four years. How he’s grown and changed. College is a terrifying threat looming over him, but for right now, he celebrates all that he’s accomplished.

He and Felix go out for an early lunch, feasting on greasy and unhealthy food they know they’re going to regret later. They reminisce inside jokes and fond memories, and cringe at some of the more embarrassing ones, giggling away in a corner of the restaurant.

Before Seungmin knows it, he’s sitting in the car with his mom, hands excitedly tugging on his gown. She drops him and Felix off at the school, the two best friends making their way to the auditorium to get situated for the ceremony.

“As exciting as it is to end high school,” Seungmin mutters after they stand and wait for a while. “The ceremony is going to be so fucking boring.”

Felix elbows him with a lopsided grin. “Hey, just wait until the afterparty.”

For once, Seungmin is actually excited to attend a party. He’s going to see all of his friends, both old and new, a final time before they all drift apart to pursue their different career paths. It’s a somewhat bittersweet feeling, knowing he’s going to leave behind a lot of really good friends, fading away until they’re nothing but a foggy memory.

But he and Felix hold hands together, and Seungmin knows for a fact his best friend will remain a constant in his life, no matter how far apart they are, and that’s enough.

By the time the actual ceremony starts, he and Felix are unfortunately separated, thanks to their different last names. The ceremony is as underwhelming as Seungmin expected it to be, sitting for a solid hour as each and every senior goes onstage to collect the diploma they don’t actually get to keep. 

He cheers and claps for his friends, cheering especially loud for Felix, who finds him in the crowd and waves, cheeks bunching and eyes shining in a smile. When it’s finally his turn to go up, Seungmin finds himself smiling. He turns to the crowd, searching for his best friend and family. Instead, his eyes find someone else.

Dark eyes peer up at him fondly, lips pulled into that smirk-like smile that Seungmin knows by now is just the way he smiles. Something warm ignites inside him at the soft look in the elder’s eyes, evident even from a distance. Seungmin blinks a little before smiling right back, his cheeks heating and eyes unable to pull away from Changbin, even as he walks off the stage. 

The tingling warm sensation continues bubbling in his chest, then comes to a screeching halt. Now that high school is over…what will happen to him and Changbin?

When all of this is all over, like, whatever is going on between us, we’ll still be friends, right?

Seungmin’s chest tightens, the thought of drifting apart from- losing- Changbin. After everything, can he really just let Changbin go like that? Is he really going to be happy going their separate ways? 

He barely registers the cheers of the crowd, caps falling around him in celebration. He’s too busy looking for the familiar raven-haired boy in the crowd with the soft smile that he’s slowly but surely learned to love. 

The crowd of students start dispersing, flooding out into the parking lot to find their families and take any pictures. Seungmin shoves his way through the crowd, eyes wildly searching, heart pounding in his chest.

If this is really it, Changbin should at least know how he feels. He deserves to know how Seungmin feels. He deserves to know that he’s loved.

“Seungmin!” 

Seungmin whips around, gaze catching Changbin’s, the elder’s eyes upturned in a smile. Seungmin rushes toward him, thoughts racing a mile a minute. 

“Woah!” Changbin laughs and takes hold of Seungmin’s arms when Seungmin runs up to him. “Where are you going?”

“I need to tell you something,” Seungmin gasps out, breathless from his little run and racing nerves. 

Changbin gives him a quizzing smile. “Now?”

“Yes. Now.” Changbin tips his head, and Seungmin swallows, trying and failing to slow his pounding heart. “Remember when you asked if we would still be friends after everything was over?”

Changbin blinks, bemused. “Of course.” 

“Please tell me that’s still going to be true,” Seungmin whispers, voice catching in his throat. “That-We won’t drift apart now that we’re not in high school anymore.”

Changbin’s eyes widen. “Of course it’s still going to be true. You didn’t think I was just going to up and leave you after everything, right?”

Seungmin doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know what he believes. All he knows is the fear grasping him tightly, wound deep in his gut. After almost losing Changbin once, he doesn’t want to risk anything again.

Changbin’s face softens, and Seungmin feels the elder’s smaller hands coming to lace together with his own. “I’m not going anywhere, Seungmin.”

Seungmin looks down at their joined hands, chest still feeling tight, heart tugging him to say the words just on the tip of his tongue. 

“I-” he starts, the words catching in his throat. 

He doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s never voiced his feelings out loud before. He feels them bubbling to the surface again, threatening to boil over. This time, he doesn’t stop it.

“I have feelings for you,” Seungmin admits in a voice so small he’s not sure if Changbin even hears him.

Changbin blinks rapidly, lips parting and eyes widening in a way that proves to Seungmin that yes, he heard him. Before Changbin can even speak, Seungmin continues.

“I’ve had feelings for you for a while,” Seungmin finally says the painful words out loud, something releasing in his chest as he finally confesses. “Probably even longer than I realized. I just- God, I feel really stupid. I know that whatever happened between us was supposed to just be some weird not-friends to friends with benefits things but somewhere along the way I realized that holy shit you’re actually the most amazing person I’ve met in life. I realized how wrong I was about you and instead of hating whoever I thought you were I started falling for the real you instead. I fell so fucking hard and I’m pretty sure every second I spend with you I just fall even harder.”

He’s rambling now, not meeting Changbin’s eyes and clinging to the hands still intertwined with his own. He blinks away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes, trying desperately to stop his throat from closing up.

“I’m really-I know this is unfair to dump onto you after we just made up and I was a dick but I just had to tell you before-before-” He hiccups, then squeezes his eyes shut. “Before you leave.”

There’s a long stretch of silence, only cut by the people moving around them, happy laughs and pictures snapping in the background. Such a stark contrast to how Seungmin feels. 

Changbin’s hands pull away from his, and Seungmin flinches, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. God, this is really it. He fucked up, didn’t he? 

Then, there’s warm hands gently cupping his face instead, brushing away the tears Seungmin hadn’t realized were falling.

“Hey,” Changbin murmurs softly. “Look at me.”

Slowly, Seungmin’s eyes crack open, coaxed on by the gentle lull of Changbin’s voice. He blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision. When it finally does, he’s met with a look so soft he nearly melts on the spot. Changbin’s lips are curled upward, and his eyes are shining with fondness that Seungmin doesn’t understand, at least not until Changbin finally speaks up.

“I’m actually so fucking in love with you.”

Seungmin gasps, his cheeks flaming under Changbin’s touch. He hadn’t expected Changbin to return, even consider his feelings, let alone... this.

But no, this is real, this is really happening. Changbin’s soft touch reminds him of that, keeps him grounded to reality, fixated on the prettiest man Seungmin’s ever seen right in front of him. Confessing his love of all things.

“I don’t-” Changbin suddenly stutters. “I don’t know if that’s what you meant by feelings but…yeah. I do, and I think you should know that.”

“I…” 

Seungmin trails off, uncertainty lingering in his stomach. He was always terrified by the concept of love. It was too intimate, too strong, too permanent, for something that wasn’t supposed to last. But when he really thinks about it, he’s never felt so strongly for someone in his life. Never felt so safe and warm cradled in someone else’s touch. 

If this is love, Seungmin welcomes it.

“Yeah,” he whispers, gazing into Changbin’s eyes. “I love you too.”

The smile that spreads across Changbin’s face is worth it, so, so worth pouring his heart out despite being so afraid of losing it all. 

Changbin is suddenly pulling him in, meeting Seungmin in a soft, slow kiss, Seungmin’s arms coming to Changbin’s waist. Seungmin expects it to be different from all the other kisses they’ve shared, but it isn’t. There’s something so familiar about the gentle slide of Changbin’s lips against his own, the love burning just along the edges of it. They always felt like this, always poured their hearts into every kiss and every touch, now it’s just been spoken out loud. Now Seungmin recognizes it. Finally.

Seungmin pulls away, his hands coming up to squeeze Changbin’s wrists. “What…What does this mean for us?”

“Well, unfortunately I’m going to have to break our promise,” Changbin starts dramatically. “I cannot just be your friend anymore.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes, a laugh bubbling from his chest, euphoria spreading through him. “God, I should’ve expected this. You’re actually the cheesiest person I’ve ever met, and I’m friends with Felix.”

“You didn’t even let me finish!” Changbin whines and then pouts, his hands falling from Seungmin’s face to his neck instead.

“Fine. Continue.”

“I cannot just be your friend anymore.” A shit-eating grin finds its way on Changbin’s face. “I am going to be your boyfriend.”

More laughter falls from Seungmin’s lips. “Why are you phrasing it like that? You’re not even going to ask? I don’t get a say? Just; poof? You’re my boyfriend now?”

“You love me. You’re not going to say no,” Changbin says confidently, tipping his head and smirking up at Seungmin.

“Now I’m reminded why I hated you,” Seungmin mutters with no bite, a smile playing on his lips even as he says it.

Changbin gasps. “You’re so mean!”

Seungmin just giggles. “That’s a no on the boyfriend part, by the way. Ask me properly, and maybe I’ll consider it.”

Changbin sighs. “Kim Seungmin,” he says, putting on the most serious expression Seungmin’s ever seen. Seungmin groans, already regretting this. “Will you do me the honors of making me the happiest man alive and being my boyfriend?”

“Did you have to make it sound like we’re getting married?”

“Oh my god just say yes or no,” Changbin whines again. “You knew what you signed up for when you fell in love with me.”

Seungmin’s ears burn at the cockiness in Changbin’s voice. He honestly has to be the most annoying person in the world to confess to. 

“I really didn’t,” Seungmin can’t help but say out loud. “But I definitely don’t regret it.”

Changbin’s smile turns bashful, and he looks away from Seungmin, teeth biting into his bottom lip. Fuck, he’s so cute.

“So…is that a yes?” Changbin asks after a beat, shyly meeting Seungmin’s eyes again.

“Yes , dummy,” Seungmin chuckles, brushing their noses together. “How could I say no to you?”

Changbin’s face turns a dark shade of pink. “It’s not fun when you’re the confident one.”

“Oh, you love me.”

“Just a little bit.” Changbin grins and suddenly reaches up, switching Seungmin’s tassel to the left side. “There. Now you’re a big boy, fresh out of high school.”

Seungmin laughs and lets his head fall to Changbin’s shoulder, hugging him tightly. 

“We should…really get going,” Seungmin whispers, wanting to do anything but. 

“Yeah.”

Despite their words, neither of them move. 

Seungmin is the first to break, leaning back up and offering Changbin a warm smile. “Hey, we’ll see each other in a little bit, yeah?”

Changbin’s eyes curl into little crescents. “Yeah.”

Seungmin pulls away, or at least he tries to, but Changbin pulls him right in back in, his expression unreadable.

“And Seungmin?” Seungmin tilts his head. “I’m not leaving you.”

Seungmin stares at him, gazing into the warm eyes he’s come to love, and he relaxes, the fear that lingered in the pit of his stomach dissipating with four simple words. A promise.

“I’m never leaving you,” he responds, pressing one final kiss to Changbin’s sweet lips before he does have to pull away.

He hates having to leave, even for a little bit, but he knows he’ll come back. He’ll always come back. It was always Changbin, and it always will be.