Archive of Our Own ^beta

The clock indicated that it was around eight when the door finally opened up. Natasha shook hands with an older woman who kindly smiled at her, she seemed composed which was something the spy probably appreciated.

Wanda rose from her seat, simultaneously closing the notebook she had previously been filling up for the last fourty minutes. She truly enjoyed drawing sketches of joyful memories or the places she went to, it was a bit messy but it felt poetic and made her life feel more special.

Natasha immediately looked at the brunette with an expression of confusion displayed on her face, "What are you doing here ?" She walked toward her, her eyebrows furrowed as they often would whenever her girlfriend surprised her. Wanda loved it, she was fond of taking care of Natasha, fond of the way her eyes lightened up at some sweet attention, fond of how she would roll her eyes while hiding a smile when Wanda teased her.

"I know you rescheduled the appointment," the Sokovian first let out, nervously fiddling with her rings. She was still very careful about respecting Natasha's privacy, even after all these nights spent together, talking endlessly as they forgot about the concept of personal space.

"Maybe you didn't want to see anyone and I'll go if you want, but I felt like you could use some company." Natasha was listening, eager to be aware of the witch's intentions before forging an opinion. "And I know you wouldn't have asked for it," Wanda added, a small shy smile hanging on her lips. She could feel her heart pounding as she waited for Natasha's reply, she hadn't meant to upset her in any way. She simply wanted to help her, so bad.

Natasha's poker face broke with a soft smile, "You always read me so well." The confession caused Wanda's heart to miss a beat while she sighed in relief. It was extraordinary how much effect the redhead had on her, a few words could brighten her day, a sole gesture could make her feel warmer than anything that ever brought her comfort.

"You should be my shrink, you'd be way better than this one," Natasha said while she pointed at her new therapist closed door's, her signature smirk placed on her lips. It was Steve's idea – going to therapy – which had been very shortly supported by Wanda. At the beginning, the spy felt far from motivated by their project, it didn't inspire anything good to break out her worst secrets, or even the small meaningless things she hid from herself. However, Wanda was relentless, and quite malicious, since she had promised the Russian a great reward if she went to just one appointment. And Natasha was only human, so she agreed.

A laughter escaped from Wanda's mouth. It sounded as amazing as usual, Natasha would never get bored of it. "Let's get out of here before you offend anyone," Wanda gently brushed her hand with her index, unspoken doubt lying in her eyes. She would always make sure that Natasha agreed to touch her.

The spy swiftly took Wanda's hand into her own, wasting no time before stroking her skin as she knew how much it soothed Wanda, which was all she wanted, honestly.

They quietly left the office, Natasha was silently enjoying her girlfriend's presence whilst Wanda gave some time to the redhead for being alone with her thoughts. She remained very cautious of not invading her mind, unconscious that Natasha trusted her so much it wouldn't even have bothered her.

No one else knew her this well, no one had ever been allowed to get this close to her, and Wanda felt grateful for it every single day of her life, especially when she woke up with a sleepy Natasha holding her waist. She was protective of her, Wanda could see it in the way she glared at anyone who dared to disagree with the witch.

"So, how are you feeling ?" Wanda asked as she smoothly leaned her shoulder against Natasha's, which earned her a soft chuckle. It felt like she just won the lotery whenever she heard this exquisite sound. She often wondered if she could ever express how much she felt for Natasha, because words were sometimes not enough, and it left her frustrated.

Natasha looked at her, for a long time, not sure how she could put her current emotions into words. "Heavy. I'm not sure I liked it," she finally admitted, gripping Wanda's hand stronger as if it was the only thing that protected her from her dangerous thoughts which were close to spiralling.

Wanda nodded as a sign that she understood, because she always did, "It's normal. Do you want to talk about it ?" Her accent slightly peeked through the words, and it helped relaxing Natasha's shoulders.

"I think I've talked about myself enough for a month," Natasha joked, which she often did when she didn't know how to handle a situation. She felt very strange, and quite thankful that Wanda was there, caressing her hand to ground her, because she would have felt completely lost without her girlfriend.

"We can just stay quiet, then," she suggested, nothing else than fondness contained in her voice. Wanda could sense the love Natasha felt for her invade her own body, it felt warm. "The weather is nice today, walk to the park ?" She wasn't certain of what the spy needed, but if walking in silence while holding hands was, she could give that to her without a doubt.

Natasha gazed back at her, pulled back from her thoughts to the real world, the one that had given her something – someone – good that she wasn't sure she deserved, after everything she had done. "Don't we have to train with Steve ?" The avenger believed it might seem a little unprofessional to bail on him, she had made a serious commitment.

"I already texted him," Wanda admitted with an expression of adorable guilt settled on her face. She could tell Natasha needed, and quite honestly deserved, some rest.

Instead of teasing her about her small betrayal as she usually would, Natasha simply replied, "Okay. I don't want to go to the compound yet. They're gonna be asking questions." She rolled her eyes in an attempt of dramatic exasperation.

The sun was slowly ascending, its rays illuminating Wanda's pink cheeks from the slight cold air. She couldn't even count how many sunrises she had witnessed with Natasha, the latter always insisted on staying awake just a few minutes more so that they could watch it together, and Wanda never regretted it.

Although, she usually fell asleep on Natasha shortly after, as she wasn't really good at handling tiredness. She slept a lot more than Natasha, which she wouldn't complain about because her girlfriend would always bring her breakfast – or lunch, when they had stayed up all night. Wanda couldn't process how caring her girlfriend was, she hadn't expected it, but she loved it. It made her feel so safe.

They both sat on a bench, never letting go of each other, which was incredibly peaceful.

Wanda remembered what she was holding, and let go of Natasha's hand to open her notebook, "I made this while waiting." The exhibited page was a drawing of Natasha that she had drafted from a warm memory, it perfectly captured the redhead's beauty.

A pleased smirk appeared on Natasha's lips, "Maximoff... I'm naked."

"Yes," she smiled in return, but more softly. "I just missed you. And I drew it from when you fell asleep yesterday, after we showered." The memory made the two women's grin grow even more, and they looked quite stupid now. Wanda realised that she had just admitted that she could never get enough of the redhead, but she didn't care.

Natasha had to look away, "You really exhausted me back there." Her remark made the Sokovian blush, which was exactly what she had intended. She couldn't help it.

"Well, you seemed to like it..."

"I did. Very much," she replied, because it was true, and useless to deny. Nobody made her feel the way Wanda did, she paid so much attention to every groan that escaped her throat, to anything that caused her back to arch, to everything that made her sink her fingernails into the back of her neck. It all felt so good, and Natasha always felt content afterwards.

Wanda couldn't stop grinning and Natasha almost kissed that smile off of her lips, but she didn't – yet.

The whole moment felt out of time, as the park was nearly devoided of people or any sort of annoying noise. They were approaching closer to the beginning of spring, the flowers were slowly starting to get back to life, and Natasha made a mental note to pick one for Wanda when they would have blossomed. She knew how much the witch liked all sorts of flowers, and she simply couldn't wait to see the happiness on her face when she would offer one, or several, to her.

Wanda silently gazed at Natasha, not even in an attempt to get something. She just wanted to admire her girlfriend's beauty, in plain sight. And, obviously, Natasha felt a longing stare focused on her, so she stared back, taking in how dreamy Wanda looked. She sometimes couldn't believe it, that someone could be so breathtaking.

She never thought she could have fallen in love, especially with someone that was deeply generous, but it was all so unevitable. Natasha couldn't understand why everyone wasn' in love with her Wanda, but maybe it was for the better. Would Wanda have chosen her if she had lots of other options ?

After a while of calm quietness, Natasha spoke out, since she felt finally ready to talk about it. "It was awkward, at some points. Sometimes, she was waiting for me to talk, but I didn't really know what to say, so she just stared into my soul in silence. I hated it." Wanda broke out into a laughter, because she could imagine how uncomfortable it was.

"I told her about the red room a bit, but I stopped. She looked horrified, and I felt bad for making her feel this way." However, it was precisely a therapist's job to hear horrendeous stories, she shouldn't feel guilty about what she had lived. Wanda would say something about this later, but now wasn't the time for this.

"I also told her about my biggest regrets. I think that was the worst part." She could feel Wanda's hand squeezing her own, reminding her that she was there by her side. Natasha inhaled some cold air as she closed her eyes.

Wanda asked the question that had occupied her thoughts since she had woken up, "Did you cry ?" She truly wanted to know, even if the answer would most likely break her heart, but she knew Natasha would be there to put it all back together. It was what she always did, although she didn't exactly seem aware of how much she had helped Wanda.

"No," a victorious smile rose on her lips, she hadn't yet been able to accept that crying in front of people wasn't a sign of weakness. But Wanda would keep on teaching her. "My voice couldn't stop shaking, I didn't like that," her tone sounded a bit more casual at the last words.

Wanda nodded again, and Natasha started to talk again, she wouldn't recount her appointment in details with anyone else. "I told her about my other family, about Yelena. I talked a lot about her. And then, I talked about you, but I tried to stop myself because I knew I would spend the session complimenting you." Her eyes were shining with honesty, and it felt unbelievably comforting.

"I'm so proud of you," Wanda managed to articulate before softly caressing Natasha's hair. She was the one who was crying, which was pretty ironic, but she just felt overwhelmed with the love she felt for this woman.

Natasha tenderly smiled and wiped a tear rolling on her cheek with her thumb. The touch was gentle, and it almost broke Wanda apart all over again. And then, it hit her. She was in love with Natasha, deeply in love, and from the way Natasha was staring at her, she could tell her feelings were reciprocated. But maybe now wasn't the right time to voice it, she wanted to take care of Natasha first.

"Are you hungry ?" Wanda questioned after she proceeded to dry her eyes off. She felt a bit embarrassed but it didn't matter when Natasha was next to her, ready to protect her at any cost.

Natasha absentmindly fiddled with one of Wanda's rings, twisting it around while allowing her thoughts to wander to places she thought she had locked. "Not really," she answered sincerely. The spy didn't necessarily want to move, at all, she preferred to stay sat with her girlfriend – who might be hungry, after all. "Are you ?"

"Not at all." As soon as she saw the inquisitive look Natasha gave her, she clarified herself, "I stole one of Stark's credit cards. He won't even notice." A proud grin laid on her lips that remained covered with scarlet lipstick, Natasha was panting to kiss them.

She smiled as well, "Wanda...," her voice went lower, the way it did when Wanda knew something great was coming. "I'm impressed," she admitted, "Maybe I do have a bad influence on you." She was referring to a remark from Sam, when the witch had reversed his own prank against him. He had truly been unable to believe it, and it made it all a lot more hilarious.

"Maybe you like it," Wanda almost whispered, slowly leaning closer to Natasha's face. She hadn't kissed her in less than eight hours, but it already felt too long. She didn't care how needy it sounded, because Natasha could always satisfy her.

Natasha nearly closed the distance between them as she gently placed a hand on Wanda's collarbones to stop her from getting closer. She smiled, naturally, before murmuring a raw "Yeah." And she slowly pressed her lips against Wanda's, it wasn't very passionate like it often was. They just needed to feel each other, to taste each other.

Wanda laid a hand on her jaw, continually caressing it even when they broke away, foreheads still in contact because they needed it, the comfort their life had refused to grant them in the past. Natasha enjoyed how amazing her girlfriend smelt, she had never managed to figure if it was the perfume she wore, or her shampoo. But she loved it, when all she could sense was Wanda, when she sinked herself into her arms, nothing had ever felt like this, and it took her a lot of time to accept that love was something she wasn't unworthy of. And maybe, she hadn't fully accepted it yet, but she knew she would when Wanda was staring at her like this, with eyes filled with adoration.

"Want to listen to my Natasha playlist ?" she asked, an adorable smile on her lips. Wanda wanted to witness her girlfriend blush, because it wasn't fair if she was the only one with lightly pink cheeks.

Natasha frowned a little, still grinning, as she knew Wanda was about to show her something meaningful, from the expression placed on her face. "What is that ?"

"Songs that make me think of you or that I think you would like."

The words made Natasha's heart ache, because Wanda might have no idea how much those little attentions meant to her, how much it made her feel loved and cared for. "Okay, that sounds interesting," her voice sounded sweet and honeyed, and also happy, which felt truly freeing. It was a deliverance to finally have a place she felt safe and content in, after all those years of barely surviving.

Anytime a new song played, Wanda would explain why it was part of the playlist, it hurt so good to feel cherished like that. The Sokovian's green eyes looked magnificent in the glow of the morning, "This one is one of my favourites. It's kind of loud but it's calming and beautiful, and it makes me feel safe." Her voice broke in a smile, "And really happy," she added.

It was all too much, how could Natasha be able to phrase how much she loved Wanda after all those moments of unspoken declarations ? It had to be grandiose, but she was awful at this.

She wanted Wanda to know all of her, her deepest fears, her darkest thoughts, because it was how much she loved her, how much she trusted her. So, instead of saying the words someone else would have voiced, she said something very different.

"I feel broken, Wanda. I buried everything and I thought the pain was gone but I'm still a mess. I've hurt so many people," tears started to form into her eyes, and this time, she didn't repress them. She let them roll down her cheeks, and it was liberating to abandon herself to feel, at last.

Wanda was quivering to hold her, cling to her until she could no longer feel any sorrow, but it wasn't what Natasha wanted. She wanted her lover to see her, raw and in her true hurt-self, which Wanda agreed to, so she simply grasped her hand, softly and tenderly, because it was what the redhead had missed her entire life.

Natasha's breath still remained steady, but tears kept running down her cheekbones – tears that Wanda wanted to stop. "Natasha," she tried to put all the love she felt into this sole word, "You were so young, it wasn't you. It wasn't your fault." Natasha wouldn't quit shaking her head in disagreement, she wished to take the blame. It was so much easier.

"You've spent the other half of your life making up for what you were forced to do. You are so caring," her voice seemed to be flooding with adoration. "You forgave me, Natasha. It's time to forgive yourself, now. Please," she sounded so desperate and sincere that Natasha nodded, how could she hate herself when someone loved her this much ?

"Okay," she gave in, for Wanda. "I'll try," a playful smirk appeared on her lips. "You'll help me, right ?" Her question remained simple, but slight doubt was wrapped around it.

Wanda couldn't help but smile, it felt like a promise. "I will be here by your side as long as you want me." It was only true, she wouldn't leave Natasha alone, she couldn't. She could already hear Vision asserting that her declaration sounded like a proposal, which caused her to feel nervous, because what if Natasha walked away ?

But nothing close to her fear occured, it was quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. Natasha's smile grew, in a manner that could reflect all the joy she was feeling and she tucked one of Wanda's hair strands behind her ear so delicately. "You have freckles," she lightly laughed, feeling a bit stupid. She had never noticed that her girlfriend had adorable freckles splattering the top of her nose.

"I do," Wanda's voice shifted into a laughter as well, she felt immensely happy. "We need to go out more," she declared, already eager to walk around with her girlfriend, going nowhere in particular. She needed to explain Natasha that her freckles remained more noticeable when the sun was illuminating them, but she would do it later. Natasha had something else for her.

She breathed in, burying herself in all the endearment she felt for Wanda. "I love you," Natasha managed to voice out, a huge smile hanging on her lips. She didn't feel afraid, for once, she felt relieved to finally say what she had meant to for a few weeks, already.

"I love you too, Natasha," her accent remained thick with emotion, and it all sounded unreal and astounding. She smiled, greatly, her face was covered with joy and Natasha was certain that she fell in love all over again.

"Can I kiss you ?" Wanda asked, a little timid but still so pleased that someone like Natasha loved her. She couldn't physically stay away from her anymore, now that they expressed their love through words, she needed to repeat it with actions. She would say it all over again as she pleasured Natasha, if she wanted to.

Natasha's smirk came back, "I think you've done that already, medovyy." She knew how much impact terms of affection in Russian had on Wanda, which caused a shiver to go down her spine. She needed to hear Wanda feel good, it felt vital.

"I know," Wanda rested her foredhead against Natasha's in the softest way. "I just," she paused for a while, stroking the smooth skin of the Russian's neck. "I want to really kiss you. I want to feel you." She moved away a little to witness Natasha's reaction.

Natasha was smiling, fondly, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from grinning so much. "Come here," she spoke in a tone that sounded as demanding as warm, which melted Wanda's heart. She liked how dominant Natasha could sometimes be, it was alluring.

Wanda was the one who closed the distance, this time. Their lips crushed together epically, it felt incredibly desperate, and deep. Natasha didn't hold back long, she caressed Wanda's bottom lip with her own tongue, teasing her so fondly, and Wanda allowed her in with a low moan.

Unfortunately, not a while after, Natasha broke away, which caused her slightly out of breath girlfriend to frown greatly. "I have a secret appartment, nearby," her voice was so low it could have sent Wanda over the edge. She felt very grateful that Natasha was still unpredictible, and it was good because it meant she would be able to repeatedly surprise her in the best manner.

By the time they arrived to the appartment, Wanda was a glorious mess, and Natasha couldn't wait to properly love her and all of her body, to watch her come undone.

As she gripped Wanda's waist firmly, she thought that maybe, she did deserve to be loved like this, because it felt so good. It couldn't be wrong to let herself feel it.