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Chapter Text

He Cheng knows his brother resents him.

But what could he have done differently?

Between their mother’s death and their father’s absence, managing the “family business”, he tried his best to look out for his little brother. Tian is the only real family he has got left. This train of thought accompanies Cheng while he gets up from his desk leaving his home office into the parlour. The sun is already setting, drawing long shadows over the expensively but sparsely furnished room. A leather seating group, a well-stocked solid wood bar with a concrete countertop and a pair of wall-mounted ritualistic swords form the centre pieces of the room. Normally he admires the tidiness of his modern contemporary styled home. Everything is sleek, clean, and organized, no chaos no disruption just order. This evening, as he walks to the bar, his house feels cold, empty, and lonely. More of an abstract piece of art than a home. Lost in thoughts he pours himself a drink.

Where did he go wrong?

After their mother’s funeral his father pulled him aside and said in his usual hart and commanding tone “Cheng it’s time for you to man up. I need you to take on more responsibility. Work hard and take care of your brother. Do you understand me? One day you are going to take over the family business, make sure you are ready for it when the time comes. Do not dare to disappoint me.” That day marked the end of He Cheng’s adolescence.

He takes a sip of his whisky, grabs his glass and the bottle, knowing he is going to need more than one drink tonight, and places himself in one of the armchairs. The leather feels cold on his back.

How could their father do that to him?

Back then he was barley an adult, not ready to take care of himself, how should he be able to care for his innocent little brother? At that time Cheng already knew most about their father’s shady business. Their mother had tried her best to shield them from it but around his middle school years he started to figure out why the teachers would whisper and exchanged worried glances when they thought he would not notice. Why it never was their mother but some grim looking henchmen who picked him up from the private school he attended. By highschool he started to get more involved in it. Coming home with scratches, black eyes and cracked knuckles. Much to his mothers’ dismay but she was in no place to speak up against their father. At least not publicly. Sometimes he could hear their parents fight late at night. His father storming off leaving his crying mother behind. Now that she was gone, he was the one trying to shield He Tian. Of course, he was not his only caretaker. Being born as a He meant they still had maids, bodyguards, private tutors, basically anything money could buy, but he felt like he was the only one who really cared about his brother. Unlike the servants, who just did their Job, unlike their father who view his sons more like his successors instead of his beloved children. Cheng did not care for his brother because of his fathers’ orders but because he genuinely loved him. Loved him since the day his mother came home from the hospital, and he held this tiny little baby boy in his arms for the first time, carful like any movement could break him.

By now he finished his first glass of whisky. He holds it up and looks on the remaining ice cubes, which slowly started to melt. He could see his reflection in it. His eyes echoing his sorrows. A strand of hair freed itself from the sleek backcombed hairdo, lingering over his forehead like a dark shadow. He blows at it with no real effort, not managing to get it out of the way, puts his glass down for a refill and loses his tie.

All he ever wanted was for his brother to be happy.

But is that really the truth? If all he ever wanted was his brother’s happiness, why didn’t he let him keep that puppy? Why did he take it to stay with Qui instead? He did not want He Tian to get too attached to it, trying to protect him from reliving the feeling of abandonment and loss. He did not want to burden him with the responsibility of taking care of an animal. Cheng knew what concerns came with taking care of someone, especially a loved one, he did not want Tian to feel the same way as he did. Like everything is too much, like he is a failure, like everything he does is wrong. What an irony. After that decision they started to grow apart. He Cheng busied himself with his university studies and working for his Father. Facing He Tian hurt, feeling the guilt of betraying his brother, he had sworn to protect no matter what.

Sometimes he questions if their father felt the same. If their father was so ashamed of his mistakes, he kept his distance from them. He takes another sip of whisky and stares absent minded out of the windowfront into the by now dark garden, feeling the void outside transferring into him, feeding into his deepest darkest fears, telling him he is just like his Father.

Maybe it was better this way.

Maybe it was good that they strayed apart. Keeping him distant meant keeping him save. Keeping him away from the violence involved with the job. But when He Tian announced he wanted to change to a public school for middle school Cheng was furious. How could he throw away his education, opting for something so below their standard? Just because he wanted to have a normal live. Nobody ever asked He Cheng what he wanted. Him being the first-born son meant his path was already laid out for him, to follow into his fathers’ footsteps. He always assumed that Tian would someday decide to take the same path. Because that is what a He does, that is what they are supposed to do. Because that way they would stay together their whole live. They would run the family business together as brothers.

“How pathetic”, He Cheng thinks, finishing the rest of his second glass in one draught. Right now, he does not care for the taste of this surely exquisite whisky; he just wants to feel the burn building up in his throat. He needs to feel it. As a way of punishment for his piteous thoughts. Hoping the numb feeling will take over afterwards, burying his remorse for the night.

Why did I let him leave?

He let him go. He admired his brother secretly for speaking up. For choosing his path. For doing what he was never brave enough to do. And after all He Tians happiness was what he really wished for. Getting his little brother to really smile again. Smile at him like he did back in the days when they played hide and seek in the family mansion. Little Tian to small to really grasp that hiding behind the curtain does not work if your bare feet looked out under them.

Cheng chuckles a bit, a small grin on his face thinking back on the easier times. But those memories are so far away, so distant they almost feel unreal to him.

It was the right decision.

He could see how much He Tian enjoyed his “normal” life. Seeing him joking around with his friends the other day, teasing that hot-headed redhead He Tian is so found of filled him with joy and a bit of envy. His brother almost seemed sorrowless. Those two remind him a bit of Qui and himself as teens. Showing an almost stoic attitude to the outside world, not seeming to care about anyone else, but having this strong and nearly unexplainable bond of friendship between each other.

He Cheng knows his brother has his own burdens by now. He Tian surely feels their fathers power weighing down on him too. He knows that he cannot escape his heritage forever. Cheng sees it in his facial expression sometimes. Barely noticeable between the grins and bratty attitude. But his smile would not always reach his eyes. He often seemed on edge. Ready to jump up and fight back. Ready to go down in the attempt to secure his freedom. Cheng could not shield his brother long enough from his destiny.

I have failed him .

Chapter Text

Qui enters the house through the backdoor. Although he has been He Cheng’s friend since their teenage years it does not feel right not to use the servant’s entrance. At first he was stoked about becoming his best friend’s bodyguard, meaning they could work close together, meaning he could stay by his side. But it also led to changes in their relationship. On the one hand they grew closer, spending so much time together. Qui being He Cheng’s confidant, his right hand, the only one He Cheng could really trust. On the other, Qui felt the need to keep up appearance. Behaving like the underling he was supposed to be. Always having to decide which behaviour was the right for the situation, which would be appropriate. Qui closes the door and starts to wander through the dark hallway, seeing a dim light coming out of the open door to the parlour. He wants to announce he is home, but something deep down in his gut is stopping him. The room, which’s originally purpose is to entertain business associates, has become He Cheng’s retreat whenever he needs time to think. So, Qui is not surprised seeing his friend sitting in his favourite chair, looking out the window, so deep in thought that he did not even notice him coming home. Qui stops in the Doorway, leans against the frame with his arms crossed observing him. Cheng looks worried, troubles looming in his eyes, the full tumbler in his hand, the half empty bottle next to him.

He Cheng has always been a rather serious kid. When Qui met him, he could not understand how Cheng could look so grim with such a young age, till he got to know him. Being friends with him was hard in the beginning. He was so closed off so reserved but something about him fascinated Qui. He could not grasp what it was, but it felt like He Cheng was a Puzzle and Qui, curious as he was, desperately wanted to be the one to solve it. It took some time till He Cheng slowly opened up about his life, piece by piece, and Qui started to see the bigger picture, started to understand. And inside him grew the wish to take all the sorrows away from his friend.

Qui knows this was an impossible task, and moments like this, when Cheng was deep down in his thoughts make him feel helpless. Make him notice how some pieces are still missing. How he will never truly understand He Cheng.

Part of him just wants to take Cheng and bring him away from all this. But no matter how far they would go, the thoughts and fears would never leave. And he knows Cheng does not want to go away. He knows a part of Cheng likes the power, the control the job gives him. He enjoys the luxury that comes with his position. Even so Cheng would not admit it, he would not know how to handle himself without it. But most important he would never leave his brother behind. Just like Qui, doing everything to protect him, Cheng does everything to protect He Tian, even when He Tian cannot see how much He Cheng sacrifices, cannot appreciate him. Fleeing would mean having He Tian fill in He Cheng’s position. And Qui knows that is the last thing He Cheng wants for his little brother.

Cheng turned away from the window, still absent minded, when he notices Qui standing in the door staring at him with that understanding look that makes him feel like Qui could see right through him, that makes him feel vulnerable and open. As soon as they lock eyes Qui’s posture changes. He straightens up a bit to hastly as if Cheng caught him in the act, changing his expression to a bit unsure smile. “I didn’t mean to interru…” “How long have you been standing there?”, Cheng asks in a rather blunt tone. “Not long, I just came back and…”, Qui answered swiftly, feeling found out, only to be interrupted dryly. “Cut the crap Qui, how long?” Qui takes a moment to congregate himself. He lets out a sigh “Long enough to see you down that last glass of whisky you had.” He Cheng falls silent. He stares down on the floor. Distant once again. Qui is unsure what Cheng wants him to do. Should he be his silent servant and leave him with his thoughts or should he be his friend trying to find out whats going on or at least trying to lift his mood. He decides for the later, walks to the bar to grab a beer and just as he opens it and wants to take a first sip Cheng asks “Why are you here?”, now with a much smoother, curious tone. Qui stops in his movement, unsure again if he decided right. “I can go if you like. I just thought you could need some company” “That’s not what I meant. Why did you choose to stay?”, Cheng asks now looking directly at Qui. Qui crosses the room to get to the armchair next to He Cheng. He needs time to think, needs to get closer to his friend, needs to sit down for this conversation. Sitting down into the cold leather armchair he feels uneasy, ready to jump up again and run. He looks at Cheng, who is waiting for Qui’s answer, his expression an enigma for him. He takes a sip of his beer hoping the drink would help loosen his tounge. He still does not know what to answer. After a moment of silence Cheng starts to speak again. “I mean you could be anywhere doing anything, but still you decided to become my bodyguard… Why?” Qui looks down at his hands fidgeting with the beer bottle. Part of him wants to joke about how this job is the perfect excuse to get jacked in the gym, how he just looks awesome with his gang tattoos. But he knows now is not the time to joke. He looks up into Chengs questioning eyes, takes a deep breath and says with all honesty “Because I couldn’t leave you alone. Because you are my best friend. Because I care for you.”

Chapter Text

“Because I care for you.” Hearing these words, He Cheng’s body calms down a bit. He can feel the tension in his muscles relaxing and his breath soothing. But his mind is not slowing down. It just cannot seem to understand how anybody could seriously care for him. His mother cared for him; and died far too soon. His brother looked up to him; till he screwed up. His father needed him; as a pawn in his business plan, as his legacy. People usually do not care for him, or they get hurt because of it. Qui got hurt a lot. Defending him in fights he picked up as a teen. Standing beside him while they dealt with his father’s dirty work. Protecting him when he was a walking target. He Cheng’s eyes wander up from Qui’s black sneakers over his casual ripped jeans to his hands still clenching the beer bottle. His hands callused, the skin around his knuckles telling tales from all the times it cracked in fights. A scar across the back of his hand from when he defended himself bare handed against some rowdy with a jack-knife.

“I never wanted you to get hurt.” “Cheng that’s literally my job”, Qui answers with a slight chuckle and takes another sip of beer, still hoping to lift the mood. But Cheng remains serious. “Then I shouldn’t have offered this job for you.”

Qui is pissed. He decides it is time to change strategy. He puts his beer down, stands up and packs Cheng harshly by his shoulders yanking him from his seat. Making him look him in the eyes. Cheng seems surprised by this sudden and brutal uplift. “Cheng listen I’m exactly where I want to be… If it weren’t for you, I would’ve probably ended up like my old guy, doing odd jobs for the organisation, getting screwed over and sent to prison or worse.” Cheng is now struggling to get out of Qui’s restraint, looking hurt. “So, you are just here because you think you owe me?” Qui grips hardens, his patience running dangerously thin. He knows He Cheng can be a self-absorbed ass from time to time, but this is a new low. How oblivious could he be? “What the fuck Cheng? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you really think I would spend all these years working for you, living with you, being there for you, risking my bloody live for you because I owe you? Or maybe because I like the fancy lifestyle? I don’t care for that fancy scotch of yours or the fancy food we’re eating. I don’t care for any of this shit dumbass, I only care for you. I would spend my days living in a roach infested rathole as long as I would spend them with you. I’m not going anywhere. DO… YOU… UNDERSTAND?” And with that Qui pulls He Cheng closer to him, embracing him. One hand grasping Cheng by the back of his head leaning it onto the nook between his shoulder and neck. Holding him .

*

If the harsh uplift surprised him, the speech and this embrace shocked He Cheng. He has not seen Qui this angry because of him in forever. Sure, sometimes he could witness the frustration in his eyes and the veins on his forehead popping up but usually he still manages to keep up his calm and stoic appearance. Being the steady rock in their somewhat turbulent life. Cheng knows he screwed up big. Deep down he knew Qui’s friendship is genuine but his doubts and fears still managed to let him forget this truth for a moment. Now in Qui’s arms he could feel the body heat emerging from him, melting his doubt and Qui’s heartbeat, strong and fast, slowing down his own. He tries moving his head back but Qui would not let go of him, so he lifts his arms, hugging Qui as well. “I’m sorry Qui.” “I know…I know… It’s ok…Everything’s ok.” “No, it’s not.” Cheng finally manages to move his head looking at Qui. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. That’s just not fair. You are the one person I really truly trust. And now I spurned our friendship like that. I can’t take those words back, but I deeply regret letting my doubts get ahead of me. I know you care for me, and I care for you too. I’m sorry.”

Getting all of this from his chest Cheng feels relieved. And then he notices how close they stand together. Still hugging each other, their foreheads almost touching. The look on Qui’s face his usual calm self but softer. Quis hands ever so slightly stroking his back. The warmth now seems to come out of He Cheng himself. He can feel it emerging from his inner core, filling him with content. All that self-hate and insecurities subside under it. He closes his eyes and leans in, closing the tiny gap between him and Qui and kisses him.

Chapter Text

Qui did not want to hear Cheng’s apology Not because he did not think he deserved one, damn well he deserved it, but because he feared He Cheng’s self-hatred to swell. Yes, his words hurt him but he blowed of his steam and was ready to move on, pushing down his anger and focusing his concerns on He Cheng again. He knows he should stop hugging him, but he does not want to let go. Holding him, in his fragile state, feels good, feels like he could protect him from any harm. He looks at He Cheng, sees that he has calmed down, and he could swear he noticed a faint little smile on his lips. He is not not prepared for what’s following. He Cheng kisses him and Qui’s mind is flashed. What should he do? He does not want to hurt Cheng by breaking this kiss, but he does not want to take advantage of his best friend either when he is vulnerable like that. He does not know what to think, what to feel. As he is still trying to figure it out, Cheng already retreats. He withdraws from their hug, his head down, his expression somewhere between guilt and shame. Qui, his mind having troubles progressing this all, feels empty, incomplete. A void taking up the space He Cheng stood in just a second ago. He wishes they had not parted. He wants to grab Cheng again but he is to afraid of a rejection so he just stands there, waiting.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know why… I didn’t want to…I just thought…”, He Cheng starts to ramble. Qui is closing the gap. Carful as if Cheng were a shy deer, that would be scared off by the lowest sounds or smallest movements. He lays his hands on Cheng’s cheeks, stopping for a moment, fearing he would retreat, lifts his head, looks him straight in the eyes, takes another step forward till their bodies almost touch again and kisses him.

//Authors note: here the smutty parts begin, so if that isn't yout cup of tea just skip to the next note //

This time neither of them withdraws. He Cheng lets his arms glide around Qui, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him, longing for his warmth. Their kisses turn fervent, their hands wandering, grabbing and tugging, both only breaking apart to breath. Qui takes the lead, guiding them to the leather sofa and He Cheng’s calves hit the edge, pushing him down till he is laying down and Qui bends himself over him, fumbling on the other man’s dress shirt buttons. Cheng pulls on Qui’s tugged in shirt, dragging it over his head, undressing him. He caresses Qui’s back with his hands while Qui paints a trail of kisses down his neck to his bare nipple, teasing and nibbling on it. He Cheng lets out a lustful gasp, pushing his hips up, unconsciously searching for friction. Qui’s hand glides down Cheng’s body to his waistband, opening his dress pants freeing his hard dick, pushing the pants down. He starts stroking it while continuing his path of kisses downwards letting his mouth take over. He takes him in slowly, feeling how Cheng’s hands try to find hold in his buzzcut hair and settle for grabbing his head, hearing him moaning over this sensation.

He Cheng’s mind is blank. For the first time this evening he is not overthinking, doubting, he just lets his instincts, his lust guide him. Stroking over the short-trimmed hair while the other sucks his dick, going up and down in increasingly faster speed, feels overwhelmingly good. His whole body is twitching and arching, tensioning and relaxing at the same time, longing for… “more”, he is moaning, “I want… I need to… I… feel you…”

And with that plead Qui sticks his fingers in Cheng’s mouth, letting him suck on them, wet them with his salvia only to take them down again. He starts stroking along his rim, circling the fingers around the hole, easing it up so he can start pushing in. Slowly, carefully trying not to hurt Cheng and savouring every tiny reaction from him. He lets go of Cheng’s cock, coming up to kiss him while pushing in deeper. He never seen Cheng this dishevelled and lewd. He moans, and pleads, his eyes drifting off, his hands wander down to Qui’s jeans, stroking his hard one through the pants, dragging and tugging on them desperately to take them off. When he finally manages to pull them down and starts stroking his cock Qui lets out a suppressed moan, adjusting to the new sensation. He pushes in another finger and for a short time it feels like they compete against each other trying to finish of the other one first till Cheng lets go of Qui’s cock. “I want you inside me…now…” Qui removes his fingers and takes a moment to steady himself. He grabs his pants from the floor in search for a condom. He finds one in his wallet, rips the wrapper and puts it on, now focusing on aligning his dick to Cheng’s entrance. Cheng feels empty, waiting in anticipation for Qui to be ready. Finally, Qui starts pushing forward, slowly, waiting for Cheng to get used to the pressure. Hearing him moan, feeling him so tight around him makes him want to move faster but he paces himself, afraid to hurt Cheng.

The slow pace is killing Cheng. He wants to feel all of Qui inside him, preferably sooner then later. He grabs him by his butt, trying to shove him forward. “Come on Qui, I managed much more difficult situation, do you think I can’t handle you.” Qui picks up his pace and by the time he’s fully in Cheng lets out a loud moan, feeling the stretch but also enjoying the sensation of Qui’s dick being completely buried inside him. Qui pulls back and starts thrusting into him. Cheng focuses on Qui expression, a mix of effort and excitement on his face. It feels great getting fucked by Qui, but Cheng wants more. He wants to be in charge, so he takes back control. He sits up a bit, forcing Qui to slide out of him and gestures him by a gentle push to the side to get off the couch and lay down on the rug.

Qui is surprised by the sudden interruption, not knowing what Cheng wants from him but as soon as he lays down on the rug he understands. Cheng positions himself above Qui’s cock, slowly sinking down on it with the help of Qui’s hands steading his hips. After he got down on his full length, he starts riding him, increasing his pace, stabilizing himself with his hands on Qui’s shoulders. Qui is taken by the lewdness of this scene. Cheng, the descendent of the powerful He family with the stone-cold glare, riding his cock a fiery gaze in his eyes and moaning with lust. He is getting closer to finish and by the sound of it He Cheng won’t need much longer either, so he lets one hand go from Cheng’s hip and starts working Cheng’s dick, trying to match the rhythm. After a few strokes Cheng’s cumming all over him, riding out his own orgasm on his dick, having trouble keeping up the pace so Qui uses his hands on Cheng’s hips pushing him up and down for the few last deep thrust he needs to finish. He lifts Cheng of his dick and lets him collapse to his side, resting his head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him. They took a moment to steady their breathing, laying on the floor panting. “We should probably get cleaned up”, Cheng proposes, looking down Qui’s body. “Yeah, you’re right.” They both sit up, Qui grabs a napkin from the side table to wipe away most of the mess. “I’m gonna take a shower.” Qui kisses Cheng softly on the forehead and stands up. “Wanna join?”, he asks, reaching out his hand. Cheng takes it, letting Qui help him stand up and guiding him to his own bathroom.

//End of Smut//

They walk down the hallway in silence, Qui in front of him still holding his hand. The ecstasy of their intercourse starts running off and Cheng slowly starts processing what just happened. The whole evening runs past his inner eye. The loneliness he felt, the weird energy between Qui and him. Him doubting everything and therefore getting yelled at by Qui.

Their kiss … The warmth.... The lust … The pleasure...

And now? He feels how the insecurities keep crawling back inside him, inside the emptiness Qui left behind. What is happening next? What is this between them? How do they proceed from this point onwards? He looks at Qui’s hand around his wrist, feels the gentle grip. Even after they reach the shower Qui does not let go, operating the fittings with his other hand. And Cheng thinks he understand. This is Qui’s way of telling him he is not regretting it, showing him, he won’t leave. Cheng takes a step closer to Qui, joining him under the shower jet. He embraces him from behind, resting his head between Qui’s shoulder blades. “I don’t regret this either”, he confides in a soft tone. Qui feels like a heavy weight got lifted from him. He feared Cheng would not feel the same, would freak out and push him away. He turns around, grabbing Cheng’s cheeks again and kisses him. They just stand there, hugging each other and kiss while the water pours down on them and the world around them seems to fade away.