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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

7 June 20**

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

~~ 8 June 20** 8:30 AM

“So, Wrex, where’d you get a private jet from?” Kaidan asked, as Wrex pulled in next to his landing pad.
“My brother’s an idiot and lost a bet with me. He’s some sort of general down in the US Marine Corps, so he pulled some strings.” Wrex explained. “Hop on in.”
Getting himself situated, Kaidan was surprised at how sleek the interior was, the white leather seats in the cockpit in pristine condition. He’d been on planes as a kid, to visit his grandparents in Lviv, but Wrex’s jet was nothing compared to the cramped and stress-inducing passenger planes.
“It’s nice.” Kaidan commented.
“Just wait until we get up there.” Wrex said.
“Don’t we have to alert air traffic control or something?”
“We’re gonna be flying way too low for it to matter. Plus, you can see all the pretty trees and hills when you’re not that high up.”
“You never struck me as a nature lover.” Kaidan said, looking at Wrex, who cracked a small smile.
“Sometimes I need a break from the bar.” he said, as he prepared the plane for takeoff.
Kaidan remained silent as the plane took off, Whitehorse fading away in the distance. “Rahna, please be alright.” he mumbled softly under his breath, the words drowned out by the engine’s hum.
“We’re at cruising altitude.” Wrex said. “We’ll get to Vancouver on time, but the jet’s not built for this speed, so we’ll have to stop to refuel.”
“You mentioned it at the bar. Where exactly do we land for that though?” Kaidan asked.
“There’s a few good abandoned strips along the way.” Wrex explained. “But don’t worry about it. I wanted to talk to you for a bit. Get to know why a guy like you came up all the way from Vancouver so often.”
“There’s a place an hour north of Whitehorse that was important to my dad.” Kaidan said. “He went missing ten years ago.”
“Damn. It’s good that you drive all the way up to visit it, though. I don’t visit my parents' graves as much as I should. Good on you, kid.” Wrex said.
“In a way I wish he died. Would have been easier to get over.” Kaidan sighed.
“I get that. I hate being in the dark.”
“Mom took it hard. I- I’m visiting her once we get to Vancouver.”
“She doing alright?” Wrex asked.
“I don’t think so. Her boyfriend got arrested. I told her I’d be back yesterday, but I- some things happened. I texted her, but she hasn’t responded yet.” Kaidan explained.
“This about that girl you were with?” Wrex asked.
“Sort of. I can’t really talk about it.”
“You want to talk about something less heavy?” Wrex offered. Kaidan nodded.
“You know the guy you were with last night, Ben? Couldn’t stop talking about you when he finally left this morning.” Wrex said after a short pause.
“What did he say?”
“Good things, mostly. Pissed that you didn’t cum in him, though.”
“Not really my problem.” Kaidan said flatly.
“He’s a regular. Moved to town six months ago. Lots of money.”
“Good for him, I guess.”
Kaidan and Wrex rambled on for another hour before they had to land, talking about Wrex’s customers for a while before shifting the topic to Grunt’s school fiascos. It was strange for Kaidan, talking to the older man, just as a friend, the sexual advances Kaidan had come to expect were completely absent. It was that simple.

~~

“Glad to hear that you’ve decided to join us, Rahna. I’ll be at the park where I met you yesterday in exactly one hour.” Kai Leng said, smirking.
“I’ll be there.” Rahna said, before hanging up.
“Easiest job of my life.” Leng said, looking down at the phone in his hand. “I’ve got an hour left to burn, might as well have some fun.” he muttered, making another call.

“O-oh hey.” Ben’s voice sounded through the phone. “I’ve been meaning to call you, actually.”
“Always eager for a cock in your mouth, aren’t you, Agent Reed?”
“Oh, of course.” Ben said, giggling. “But, before we do that, I’ve got an update on the guy you told me to keep an eye on? I uh, heard that he left for Vancouver this morning. You did want him out of the way, right?”
“Your job wasn’t just to ‘keep an eye’ on him, Ben.” Kai said, sighing.
“Cerberus doesn’t need him. As long as he stays in Vancouver, I don’t see a problem.”
“Come over. Now.” Leng snapped.

Kai sat on the edge of the hotel room bed, pressing his fingers against the bullet scars on his knees. “Alenko doesn’t matter.” he said to himself, pondering the situation. “But Ben doesn’t need to know that.” Leng thought, thinking back to the words that Mr. Harper had told him years ago: “Control is the means to survival, Leng. Know that, and you may one day replace me.” Leng could do that. He could control Ben. He would soon control Rahna. Everything would fall into place.

The knock on the door came soon after. Ben stood at the door, the anticipation in his eyes shining defiantly. Their relationship was strange - no love, not even the slightest bit of respect. To Leng, Ben was nothing more than a tool to be used, both in the bedroom and for work. But that didn’t matter to Ben, and Leng knew that. The fucker actually liked it this way. Still, it was worth it, if it meant that the young agent would remain focused on his assignment.

“Mr. Leng. Y-you wanted to see me.” Ben said, stepping into the room after Leng beckoned him in. Kai waited, watching the door swing closed, before shoving Ben against the wall, causing the smaller man to groan.
“You fucked up, Reed.” Leng whispered, feeling Ben’s warm shaky breaths on his neck.
“I’m sorry, daddy.” Ben moaned, as Leng pulled him into a kiss. “We got carried away,” he added.
“He fucked you, didn’t he?” Kai asked, guiding Ben toward the bed. “And you let him get away.” Leng growled, throwing the man onto the bed.
“I-I, he-, I thought you wouldn’t care.” Ben stammered, as he fumbled with Leng’s belt, cutting his finger on the sharp buckle. “Shit-”
“Shhh. It’s okay. You’ll go to Vancouver and fix this yourself. After I ruin your pretty little mouth, of course.” Leng said, neatly removing his belt and pants. “Get started. Now.”

~~

It was almost noon when Kaidan arrived at Maple Ridge, and he gave Wrex a hug before getting off the bus.
“Take care, Wrex.”
“You got my number if you need anything, kid.”
With that, Kaidan watched as the bus pulled away and turned a corner. There was no going back now. He was here to stay, with no way of leaving, and Rahna was back there. Looking up at Ashley’s house, he decided to give her a call before heading in.
“Kaidan?” Ashley answered.
“I’m at your house. Is now a good time?”
“Jacob’s here, but you’re good. It’s just you, right? I got your text about Rahna.”
Kaidan thought for a second, before remembering that he did, in fact let Ashley know about the change in plans, in the midst of the haze that was last night.
“Yeah, uh, I’m at the gate.”
Ashley hung up the phone, as she stepped out to greet him, opening the gate and pulling Kaidan into a hug. Startled, Kaidan gave her an awkward hug in return, before the two of them were interrupted by a loud cough. Jacob stood in the doorway, frowning.
“Good to see you, Kaidan.” he said after a moment, his demeanor softening slightly, but his voice was still stern.
“Jacob, it’s fine.” Ashley said, taking a step back from Kaidan.
“I just wanted to say hi.” Kaidan said. “I won’t stay long.”
“If Ashley's fine with you, I’m fine with you.” Jacob said, disappearing back into the house.
“He doesn’t like me.” Kaidan commented.
“Jacob means well. He’s very protective of me. Since we used to, you know, he-”
“Yeah. I won’t cause trouble.”
“You two have a lot in common, actually.” Ashley said. “You’re both biotic, and-”
“Did he go to BAaT? Don’t remember a Jacob.” Kaidan muttered.
“No, his mom’s from Charlottetown. They don’t have an institute on the island, so he never went. That’s why he’s scared of you, actually. His father’s also-”
“Gone?” Kaidan sighed, eyes dropping to the floor, letting out a deep breath.
“Wait, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- Fuck.” Ashley stammered, pulling Kaidan into another hug.
“Ash, it’s fine, I’m just messing with you.” Kaidan said. He didn’t like being reminded of it, but he hated how guilty Ashley sometimes was, like she was ashamed of all the things she had in life.
“Not you too. Jacob does this shit to me all the time.” Ashley grumbled.
“Guess you have a type, then. Well, I’m glad to hear you're doing great. I didn’t really bring anything with me, so I’ll just pick some stuff up on the way to my mom’s.”
“Be careful with her, Kaidan.” Ashley said, frowning. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’ll be fine.” Kaidan said, heading inside. He didn’t know why he got so upset when his friends showed concern about her, especially considering the shit that she’d let Harkin do, but he was gone now. It was going to be different. It had to be.
“Kaidan, wait.” Ashley said. “I’m not saying not to go. All I mean is that if somehow, things go wrong, call me. Promise.”
“Ash, I- Fine. I’ll call you if it gets bad. Let’s head in.” Kaidan muttered as his head began to flare up again.

The next few minutes were a hot blur, as if bright balls of light were bouncing around in his brain. He felt Vyrnnus’s gun against his chin again, the tall man’s nails piercing his scalp. Piece by piece, the events of that night morphed together, taking small fragments from other memories with them. Rahna’s blank stare when she caught him with the other boy at BAaT. Harkin’s drunken rages, fists flying. A broken nose. Mom passed out in the bathroom, her face covered in blood and cocaine. “They’re never this bad.” Kaidan muttered. The headaches sucked, of course, but this never happened before, had it?

“Kaidan.” a distant voice sounded. Probably Ashley’s
“Kaidan!” Ashley’s voice called again, and his migraine died down slightly.
“What?” Kaidan mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
“You’re sweating and were talking to yourself.” Ashley said, frowning.
“Shit, I- I’m sorry. Migraine.”
“Who’s Vyrnnus?” Jacob asked.
“Oh. Some guy from BAaT. What did I say?”
“You got meds on you? We can stop by-”
“Ash, I’m fine. I’ve just had a long couple of days.”
“Well- alright. Jacob and I were just thinking of taking you to this great Chinese restaurant. Does that sound good?”
“Sure. Let’s head out, then.”

~~

“There you are. I was worried you’d be late.” Rahna said, sitting on the same bench.
“I said exactly one hour. And here I am.” Leng said, crossing his arms.
“What’s the deal, then? Who even are you?”
“Kai Leng. And we work for Cerburus. Private information company.”
“And you want me, why exactly?” Rahna asked, warily.
“We’ve had agents in BAaT for years. You’re one of their best.” Leng said, sitting down next to her.
“Alright, then. Did you know about Vyrnnus?”
“Yes. His family is very prominent. Regrettably, we did not foresee his actions that night. But you’ll get the opportunity to take him out yourself, after your training.”
Rahna sat quietly for a minute, contemplating. This was her last chance to back out, to turn down Leng’s offer. But that wasn’t an option right now. An opportunity like this couldn’t be wasted.
“Great. Where will we be going?”
“We’ve got offices pretty much everywhere, but Mr. Harper will want to speak to you. I can’t say where it is in public. But anywhere with us is better than being alone out here.” Leng explained
“And I should just believe you?”
“Normally, no. But your only other options are starving to death in the streets, or turning yourself into BAaT. Regardless, there are several potential biotic minds we can work with should you refuse. We have no reason to lie to you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me?” Rahna asked, looking at the strange man.
“It’s not in our interests to do so as of now. If you piss off Mr. Harper though, I cannot guarantee you will enjoy what happens.”
“That’s the best I’m going to get, isn’t it?”
“For now.”
“Shit… Just take me there, then.” Rahna said, as Leng called someone. Soon, a white and orange sports car pulled up, the windows tinted black. Leng opened the back door for her, before taking the passenger seat. Without any further words, they drove off, leaving the small city behind.

~~

Ashley and Jacob were fine people, and were more than accommodating, but Kaidan didn’t feel entirely there with the two of them. Ashley was his closest friend, yes, but she didn’t understand him. “It’s not her fault.” Kaidan thought, as Ashley and Jacob drove off back to her house.

“Fuck.” Kaidan said, deciding to give his mother a call before he showed up to her place.
He didn’t expect her to answer, so Kaidan was surprised when he heard her voice. “Kaidan? Where are you?”
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in 20.”
“Come home. Please.” his mother said, as if she didn’t hear him.
“I’m coming mom. Just-”
“I’m so sorry…”
“It’s ok, mom. I’ll be home soon.” Kaidan said, as the bus pulled into the stop.

His mother’s house was small and aging, the cracked pale blue paint speckled with dirt and pollen. It was outside the city though, and the nearby scenery was warm and comforting, in contrast with Kaidan’s memory of this place. It was Harkin’s, officially, but Kaidan hoped that would change soon. Still, he felt a sense of unease as he approached the door, the dead grass rustling gently beneath his feet. The lights were off, and the dead silence did little to calm the situation.

Kaidan knocked, then paused. Gentle footsteps approached the door. The three seconds before his mother opened the door felt like years. Anna Alenko stood tentatively, her thin figure draped in a pale blue nightgown. Her wavy black hair was matted, and her eyes had sunken deep into her face.

“Y-you came.” she said, her eyes red and irritated from crying.
“Of course, mama. I’d never abandon you.” Kaidan said, stepping inside.
“I’m so sorry. Forgive me.” Anna said, walking over to the kitchen.
“It’s- fine. You need help, and-” he said, following her closely, when the front door closed suddenly. A new set of footsteps sounded on the wooden floor.
“Mom-”
“I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t-.” she said, sinking to her knees.
“Look who’s back.” Harkin said, as he stomped over to the kitchen, shotgun in hand.
“You, but-” Kaidan muttered, kicking himself for coming here.
“Took you a while, but I knew you’d crawl back here eventually. I’ve missed you.” Harkin said, sneering.
“Mom, did-” Kaidan began.
“She did what I asked, like a good girl. I knew you’d be too goddamn soft if you thought she needed help.”
“Why? What do you want from me?”
“You already know, bitch.” Harkin growled, pointing the shotgun’s barrel at Kaidan’s neck.
Kaidan’s mind went numb, his heart sinking. So this was it, then? His mother just lied, to bring him back into this? It was too soon for this shit, it wasn’t right. He was never going to have a normal life again. Not with people like this.
Pulling a steak knife from the block, Harkin pressed the knife to the back of Kaidan’s neck, tossing the shotgun aside.
“Walk to the bedroom. Slowly.” Harkin hissed, pressing the tip deeper into Kaidan’s flesh.
“Y-yes.”
“Relax, baby, it’ll be just like old times.” the older man whispered as he led Kaidan up the stairs, as blood dripped onto the light brown wood.

The bedroom was smaller and darker than Kaidan remembered, the small window on the wall boarded up. The cabinets were in disarray, their contents strewn over the floor. The sheets were stained with blood and other fluids, and Kaidan couldn’t even imagine the things Harkin had done over the past week. He could almost understand why his mom wanted him back. To let someone else take her burden. But even still, Kaidan hated her right now.

Kaidan was thrown onto the bed, the nauseating scent of the sheets nearly knocking him out. Harkin only laughed, tearing off Kaidan’s clothes with the knife, occasionally cutting into his skin.
“I forgot how adorable you used to be.” Harkin said, pinning Kaidan down against the mattress. Kaidan gave no response. “Well fine then, be quiet. But you won’t be silent for long, baby.”
“Fuck you.” Kaidan muttered, immediately regretting it as Harkin ran the knife along Kaidan’s arm, leaving a long gash. Kaidan screamed, though luckily the gash wasn’t deep enough to be fatal.
“Didn’t your dad teach you not to use that kind of language? I should cut out your tongue for that. But since I’m feeling nice today, I’ll give you a chance to beg.”
“Please… I- Don’t hurt me.” Kaidan pleaded, trying his best to give Harkin what he wanted.
“We’ll see about that. But before we do anything, there’s a problem we need to address.”
“Sir?”
“Before, when you were younger, you were small, tender, like a young woman. The way you look now, well that ain’t gonna cut it for me. Here.” Harkin said, tossing something onto the bed.
“What is it?”
“Anna’s old panties. You’re gonna wear them, baby. She’s way too small for them now.”
“H-harkin, I don’t-”
“I ain’t gay like you. So you’d better act the part, unless you want me to cut your ugly head off first.”
“Alright.” Kaidan mumbled, slipping the panties on. They were small on him, but he doubted Harkin cared.”
“You’d better squeal like a bitch, you hear me?” Harkin demanded, flipping Kaidan face down onto the mattress.
Harkin went in fast, without lube, the pain of the motion making Kaidan scream. Still, after a few minutes, he hardly felt anything, his body numbing from the loss of blood. It might have lasted minutes, or hours - Kaidan couldn’t keep track. He felt the occasional jolt of pain, but his body was shutting down - he couldn’t stay conscious. As the world faded to white, a loud crack sounded out, echoing in Kaidan’s mind. Then, everything was quiet, blank. There was nothing left to feel.

“Baby…” a weak voice called. Kaidan couldn’t recognize it.
“Kaidan…” the same voice repeated. His mother’s voice. He opened his eyes, the world fading back in. He was naked, and laying on a bloodsoaked bed.
“Harkin… he- Where is he?” Kaidan asked. “Oh.” he muttered, as he saw the man, crumpled on the floor, half of his head blown out.
“I- He was hurting you. I couldn’t-” Anna said, clutching Harkin’s shotgun.
“Mom… Why?”
“I’m so, so sorry, Kaidan. I- I should never have let him near you.” she said, before breaking down, hugging her son close.
“It’s ok, mom.” Kaidan mumbled, as he drifted back to sleep.
“Shit, we need a doctor, I- I can’t believe I let him-” Anna began, looking at her battered son. His wounds had closed, they weren’t deep cuts, but he had lost a lot of blood. And Harkin… Looking at him, bent on the floor, his blood splattered all over the room, unsettled her. “Fucker…” she muttered. She gave Kaidan one last hug before limping her way to the living room, her hands still shaking.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

~~ 10 June 20** 12:30 AM
Omega. It was an interesting bar, underground in the heart of Vancouver. “The perfect place to drink all this shit away.” Kaidan thought, as he sat down at the bar. His mom was in custody, being questioned about the events of that day. Kaidan himself was interrogated, though he was allowed to leave when they figured out he hadn’t remembered any of it. Still, there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“Give me a Crown Royal.” Kaidan said to the bartender, who nodded. He could only afford a couple shots, but at a bar like this, he knew there’d be more than enough other ways of getting drinks. Kaidan was already scanning around, looking for anyone that caught his eye. It was a light day, but there were still more than enough eye candy to get Kaidan worked up. Eventually though, he set his sights on a man who sat alone in a corner, who stared back at him for a few moments before looking away. He was muscular, and probably about Kaidan’s height, though it was hard to tell from his posture.

Kaidan looked around the bar again before taking his drink and sitting across from him at the small table. He looked up as he saw Kaidan approach, eyes widening slightly before forming a glare.

“Can I help you?” the man asked, frowning.
“Couldn’t help but notice you’re here alone. Figured I’d join you.” Kaidan said. “I’m Kaidan, by the way.”
“I’m Shepard.” the man mumbled. “Not that I’m cool with you just barging to my table or anything.”
“I can go, if you’d like me to. Just figured you might want someone to talk to.” Kaidan said, standing up.
“No, you might as well stay. My girlfriend’s been driving me crazy lately. I could use someone to vent to.”
“Alright then. Tell me about it.” Kaidan said, making a mental note to remember that this man had a girlfriend.
“Her father’s this crazy rich scientist. They hate each other. Naturally, Miranda’s problems become my problems.”
“Miranda? As in Miranda Lawson? Damn…” Kaidan muttered.
“Should have figured you’d know of her. The bitch is basically a celebrity.”
“Her father worked at BAaT for a while. She stopped by every now and then.” Kaidan explained.
“You were at brain camp?”
“Yeah. Were you? You sound familiar with it.”
“Only for a few weeks. Miranda had me transferred out.”
“Is your first name John by any chance?” Kaidan asked.
“How did you- Right. I went by that name back then. I’m surprised you remembered. Anyway, I go by Shepard now. Keep that in mind.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“Anyway, Miranda wants to move away to some stupid European country. Of course, that means dragging me along. Crazy how she thinks she can boss me around like that.” Shepard grumbled, clenching his fists.
“Can’t you just not go with her?” Kaidan asked.
“You crazy? She’s rich as fuck. I’d be stupid to leave her.” Shepard said.
“So she’s your sugar mommy. Interesting.”
“No she’s not! I’m just smart with who I choose to date.” Shepard exclaimed, tensing up.
“So she got you out of BAaT, and pays for everything, but you’re saying-” Kaidan began.
“Fuck you, man. She’s my girl.” Shepard growled, standing up and walking up to Kaidan.
“Is that an offer?” Kaidan smiled, as Shepard’s face briefly paled and went wide-eyed, before returning to a scowl.
“Ugh, no. I’m- I’m not gay or anything.” he said, grabbing Kaidan’s lapel. “You’re weird, man.” he added.
“I was kidding.” Kaidan laughed, growing wary of Shepard. The man was still tightly gripping his shirt, almost pulling him out of the seat.
“What? Oh. Then- Right. Sorry.” Shepard muttered. “I’ll- You want a drink or anything, then?”
Kaidan smiled, his plan a success. “Of course,” he said.

~~

Agent Benjamin Reed stepped into the police station at 1:00 AM sharp, as the news of Mr. Alenko’s mother piqued his interest. Cerberus provided him with the proper identification to disguise himself as virtually anyone, though getting access to a low security jail hardly took any effort.

“This is Detective Pierre Barbeau. I’m here to speak with Anna Volodymyrovna Alenko” Ben said to the guard, presenting his well-faked ID.
“Of course, sir. It’ll only be five minutes” the officer said, after scanning the ID.
“Excellent.” Ben replied, smiling internally. He’d more than prove himself to Leng soon enough. Hell, if he played this right, he’d please Leng, and get to keep Kaidan for himself. Still though, if it came down to it, he would have to be ready to kill him, pretty face and all. But that wouldn’t happen. That man, Kaidan, would be his. That man had fucked him like no one ever had, and Ben wasn’t just going to waste that. “Hell, he could prove more useful to Cerberus than that Rahna bitch.” Ben thought. The thought of it pleased him. Sitting atop the world, his handsome bull at his side. Once, it was nothing more than a fantasy, an unattainable dream that Ben had long since abandoned. “Dreams never truly die.” Ben muttered, as the memory of Kaidan’s rigid hand grasping his throat resurfaced, and he moaned softly.

“Ahem. She’s ready to see you.” the guard said, a confused look on his face.
“O-of course.” Ben said, embarrassed that he let himself indulge in public. But ultimately, Ben decided it didn’t matter. He probably wouldn’t even interact with this guard ever again, anyway.

Anna Alenko looked unnerving, her thin frame and ghastly eyes startling Ben. Clearly, she’d been through some shit in her life. “Good.” Ben thought, “She’ll comply.”
Motioning the guard out of the room, Ben sat down across from her, wary of the camera that would record their whole conversation.

“I’m Detective Barbeau.” Ben said. “You’re Anna, right?”
“Yes.” she said, nodding slowly.
“I am a private investigator from Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. I understand that the victim, Mr. Harkin, had relations with your son.”
“That… is correct. Ever since my baby got back from BAaT, Brad just…” Anna said, trailing off.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Anyway, are you aware of the whereabouts of your son?”
“Why? Is he in danger?”
“I’m afraid so. Mr. Harkin’s family is very influential. Since they cannot do anything to you while you are in custody here, they may settle for your son. I need to take him to a secure location.”
“Why do you care, detective? He’s not your baby. He’s not even at BAaT anymore. You released him.”
Ben smiled and nodded before replying, “I understand your concern. Kaidan Alenko was one of our best students. His safety is important to our school’s image.”
“Is he going to be taken back?” Anna asked, distressed.
“Shhh. He’ll only be with us for a short while. Now, I need to know his location.”
“No. You can’t take him away from me! He never wanted to go back! He-”
“Don’t get upset. I need to know where he is. Don’t you want your son to be safe? Don’t you want him alive?”
“I-I don’t know. I don’t know where he is. He didn’t tell me.”
“Well, do you know where he’d go? Please, ma’am, if you care about your son’s safety, just give me something.”
“He has a friend. Ashley Williams. I don’t know where she lives, but-”
“Right. Thank you. Ben said, getting up and leaving the room. “Ashley…” he muttered under his breath.
“Wait, don’t go! Is Kaidan-” Anna called after him, but her voice was drowned out by the closing door. Ben smirked as he left the jail and headed back to his car. “Ashley, girl, I hope you’re ready.” he said.

~~ 4:10 AM

Kaidan and Shepard were drunk, barely able to lift their heads off the table. They had been rambling for hours, about whatever they were bothered by. Kaidan was surprised at how unguarded Shepard was when he was drunk, as the two of them even flirted a little as time went on. Still, in their intoxicated state, that hardly meant anything. Their bill totaled nearly 200 dollars, though Shepard had covered all of it.

“Hey Miranda… love you.” Shepard drawled, staring into Kaidan’s eyes before passing out, his head pressed onto the table.
“Huh? Yeah, goodnight.” Kaidan mumbled as he tried to stand up, falling to the floor instead. Seconds later, his vision also faded to black.

Nikolai and Kaidan sat on the shore, the dawn sky illuminating the Black Sea. They’d taken a train down here from Lviv, just the two of them, while Anna caught up with childhood friends. Kaidan was seven at the time, but the memory felt ancient. He didn’t see himself in that child. It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. Holding his father’s hand on the beach, talking about the pelicans and fish. It was so unbelievably boring, and yet, he missed it, more than anything. Back then, he wanted to do anything to set himself apart, whether it was learn everything he could about space, or become the prime minister. He was a boy with huge goals and a curious mind. He could have been so much more. Look at him now, passed out on the floor of a bar, no father, no money, and now no mother. BAaT had broken him, pushed him to the limit, yes. But for all the torturous stress it caused, it helped him forget it all.

“Kaidan.” Nikolai said, stirring him back into the memory.
“Papa?” Kaidan answered, looking up at his father.
“The sunrise is beautiful isn’t it?” he said, looking out toward the pink and blue sky.
“Mhm.”
“Every day it rises, and yet it always manages to feel special. Especially when I watch it with you.”
Kaidan said nothing, looking out towards the sky. He had no way of knowing that would be the last time they stood on the Black Sea together. He wished he could go back to that moment, to tell his father that he wanted to watch the sun every day and that it would mean the world. Maybe his father wouldn’t have left if he’d only tell him how much all of this meant.

The day broke after a couple more minutes of silence. That was where the memory ended, as the sun seemed to grow larger and larger, until everything was enveloped in brilliant white light.

Kaidan woke up to a call from Ashley, though his head was still throbbing. The bar was nearly empty, and Shepard was already gone. After his headache receded a bit, he answered the call.
“Kaidan? Are you alright?” Ashley said, her voice distressed.
“Yeah. I’m fine. What’s going on?” Kaidan asked, still clutching his head.
“Some detective stopped at our house. He was looking for you. I- I told him I didn’t know where you were, and he…”
“And he what?”
“He said he’d be back and drove off. He was mad, too. Did- did something happen?”
“No.” Kaidan said, his head flaring again. No way in hell was Ashley finding out about this.
“Are you sure? If your mom hurt you, I promise-”
“She didn’t do anything to me, and nothing happened. I have no idea why a detective is looking for me, Ash.” Kaidan said, his voice hardening.
“Alright, but what do I say when he comes back, he’s trying really hard to find you.”
“Tell him I’m not in the mood to deal with people right now. He can wait at my mom’s place if he’s so inclined. I’ll be back there eventually.”
“Something definitely happened, Kaidan. You’re not usually-”
“Drop it, Ash.”
“Alright, fine. No need to be a bitch about it.”
“What’s Jacob doing? Is he with you?” Kaidan asked.
“He’s asleep.”
“Hmph. Alright then, just be safe around the detective. I’m not in the mood for any of this legal shit right now.”
“Okay…” Ashley said, hanging up.

“Fuck.” Kaidan muttered, slowly walking toward the exit. He didn’t know what reason the detectives could possibly have for taking him back in, but there was no way it would be a positive experience. Still, he couldn’t avoid them forever. Might as well turn himself in, save Ash the trouble of dealing with them. It wasn’t like they could get any more information out of him than they already had. Of course, Kaidan knew there were always other options, Wrex’s number tempting him. “Wouldn’t be the worst idea.” Kaidan said to himself, before changing his mind and putting the phone away. With a heavy sigh, Kaidan walked out of the bar, and took the next bus back to the jail.

~~ 11:00 AM

Shepard woke next to Miranda, the early morning events feeling hazy. Neither of them were clothed, which meant that something happened, but he could hardly remember. Miranda smiled when she noticed he was awake, and gently stroked his cheek with her fingers. Shepard flinched, still adjusting to his surroundings.

“You’re awfully jumpy today.” Miranda commented, moving her hands to massage his shoulders.
“Drank a lot. Did we, um,-”
“Of course not, J. You were so tired when you got home, and didn’t want to change. I only made you comfortable.” she explained.
“Oh. Then-” Shepard began.
“Do you want to? Right now?” Miranda asked suggestively, straddling Shepard.
“Shit, um, yeah. I’d like that.” Shepard mumbled, before gasping as she began lowering herself onto him, moaning gently.
“Lie still, J.” Miranda whispered, tracing her fingers along his jaw, scratching the short stubble.
Shepard let out a surprised grunt as Miranda sped up, his hands digging into the sheets. Miranda giggled, then groaned as she sat all the way back, Shepard’s release causing her to slow down.
“Shit, Miranda, I-” Shepard said, embarrassed.
“You kidding me? I’ve enjoyed this far more than usual. You’re so cute when you cut that shitty macho talk. Clearly, you like it more too.”
“Oh. Well…” Shepard trailed off, unsure of what to say.
“J, it’s alright, there’s no need to be ashamed. You-”
“Come on, Miranda! I’m a guy! This isn’t how I’m supposed to- ugh. This shit isn’t normal!”
“Shepard, we both liked it, there shouldn’t be anything wrong-”
“No- Miranda, you being in control like that, that shit’s gay, you know?” Shepard muttered, turning his head away.
“I’m a woman, Shepard, how is it- you know what, nevermind. I don’t feel like arguing over this right now. I’m going to take a shower.” Miranda said, storming off to the bathroom.

“Bitch…” Shepard muttered, slowly getting out of bed, making his way to the dresser. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but whatever it was, it bothered him. Questions rattled in his mind: Why the fuck was the guy from the bar still in his mind? How could he just let Miranda embarrass him like that? None of the shit made sense. “It doesn’t mean anything, I’m just hungover.” he repeated to himself, over and over. He promised himself that none of this would happen again, looking at himself in the mirror. “You’re a man, don’t do that kind of shit.” he growled at his reflection, before storming off to the living room.

By the time Miranda finished her shower and joined Shepard downstairs, he had for the most part calmed down, the morning’s events out of his mind. Miranda refrained from saying anything either, sitting down next to him on the couch, leaning her head on his shoulder. Shepard smiled, stroking her damp hair. Moments like these made it all worth it, Shepard thought. That, and the money, which Shepard still felt embarrassed to admit he needed, Kaidan’s mocking words echoing in his mind.

“I hope you’re not mad at me, J.” Miranda said as she rubbed her head on his shoulder.
“No. Just- I’m more mad at myself, to be honest. I shouldn’t have-”
“It’s more than just that, I know it. It’s about the move.”
“You just had to bring that up.” Shepard grumbled.
“It’s one of the few places my father’s banned from going. I’ll be happier there. And so will you, I just know it.” Miranda said.
“We should stay here, Miranda. Have you even been to Austria before? What if we hate it there.”
“Anywhere away from my father is better than here. I- I’m going to go, with or without you.”
“I can’t just leave on a whim like this, Miranda! You- we- no. You can’t make me leave it all behind.” Shepard said, glaring at her.
Miranda pulled back and stood up, returning the scowl. “If you don’t want to come with me, that’s fine. But you’re not in a position to tell me what to do, John.”
“What do you mean? I’m your boyfriend! You need to listen to me, this isn’t- How are you going to-” Shepard stammered.
“John, I love you. More than I should. Maybe one day, we can start this again, when my father finally fucking dies. Until then, I can’t live the way I want to. Please understand, J.”
“I’ll protect you from your dad, babe. You shouldn’t run from your problems, just let me handle them, I can-”
“Shepard, no. My father’s got the resources to take whoever the fuck he wants down. You can’t protect me from him, J.” Miranda explained.
“And running away from all of this can? You said it yourself, he’ll send whoever the fuck he wants-”
“Shepard, please, let me go, for your own sake. I’m just another bitch to you anyway, right?”
“Fine then. Leave. I don’t care anymore.” Shepard said, his words dripping with disgust.
“You’ve got a lot of shit to think through, John. Probably more than me, to be honest. You can have the house after I leave. I’ll put it in your name.”
“Tch. Just get out.” Shepard hissed.
“My flight’s not for another five days, J. We should enjoy these last few days, shouldn’t we?” Miranda said.
“I need to go for a walk.” he said, making his way to the door. Miranda only nodded, staring at the floor.