Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

         The persona of “Mysterion” had never been meant to grow into anything bigger.
         He was a protector for Karen, that’s all. Mysterion would do whatever he had to when it came to keeping her safe. Their parents didn’t support them, obviously- this left him in charge of everything from sewing her ripped clothing to putting food on the table some nights. Ever since he'd realized his powers - and that he wasn't going crazy - he'd made his own little outfit by hand and began slipping through the shadows in order to take what he needed. Perhaps an entire outfit and a secret identity weren’t necessary, but he wanted to feel like he was a mysterious guardian. Like he was worthwhile. Plus, wouldn’t Karen be upset if she knew he was putting himself in danger? It’s not like she remembered his deaths, and he didn’t want her to. As long as he was able to camp out in the convenience store or raid a store supply truck once in a while, he’d look like her guardian angel. The first time she’d called him that, it’d made his heart swell. Perhaps it was self gratification. Maybe it was selfish. But he just wanted what’s best for her, and stalking around in the night seemed to be just that. 

         The name of “Mysterion” circled around in whispers, a common crook that took things a bit too seriously. Nobody knew of him, thankfully. He’d planned on keeping it that way. If anyone discovered him, he’d throw himself at the nearest deadly item and conveniently erase everyone’s memory of the night. This was a last resort, though, as it meant he couldn’t keep what he stole. His little sister smiled wide when he brought back sweets for her. Her favorite. He reminisced on her smile as he slipped in the backdoor of the local 7-11, which he’d raided a few times by now. It was easy- camp in the storage room until the place is locked up, dodge cameras whilst grabbing what he needed, and then exit through the back he’d left unlocked. He’d provide for his family, through whatever means necessary. 

         The storage room wasn’t soundproof, thankfully. This meant he could hear when the clerk on duty headed to the door for a last check of the place, and he could hide between boxes with his small frame. It happened around the same time every night- he’d developed an intuition for it. However, things were slow tonight, and curiosity built in the fourth-grader’s chest. Just as he was about to chance a peek outside, voices sprung up from the other side of the store. 
         “...And if you don’t, my two minions will, uuh… Beat you up!”
         “Please…! No, I’ll do it, don’t hurt me.”
         Mysterion pushed the door open and peered through it silently. Was there a robbery taking place? He’d experienced it a couple times as Kenny. The frightened-looking clerk held their hands up as they were confronted by two adult men in black masks, standing on either side of… A child?? He appeared male, with a thin frame and a shiny metal helmet over his head, just barely exposing his eyes. A thick cape hung down from his shoulders. All in all, he couldn’t be more than a year older than him. Mysterion played with the idea of going out there and stopping him. He’d been practicing martial arts just in case, but could he really go up against two adults? A feeling of responsibility swelled up inside his chest. If he didn’t do this, could he really go home to his sister without feeling guilty? Stealing was one thing, but something about threatening someone like that rubbed him the wrong way. He bit his tongue, cursing his judgement, before rushing out into the fluorescent lights. 

         “Stop!” Mysterion announced, realizing a moment too late he really wasn’t sure how to go about this. Regardless, he got the attention of all four individuals. The child tipped up his chin with scorn, a cocky smile playing across his lips. 
         “Awwe, look, guys! A funny little kid playing superhero!” He tapped his silver gloved hands together as if gaining enjoyment from it. Mysterion noted that his helmet, gloves, and shoes were made of tinfoil. Huh. Low-budget. He put up his fists, narrowing his eyes, but the villain only let out a high-pitched laugh. “You can’t beat me! My name is Professor Chaos! And this lady WILL replace all the weed sold here with oregano, and nobody will stop me! Ah-hahahaha!” ...What? Mysterion shook off the ridiculous nature of the crime. What kind of villain decides to cause minor irritation instead of actual damage? Either way, he was in it now and he had to stop him. 
         “You won’t get away with this,” he hissed lowly, but somehow he felt this would be a losing fight. 

         “Still gonna try, eh? Sic 'em, boys!!” Professor Chaos pointed forward and both the adults advanced on him at once, hands out. Shit. Mysterion ducked between the leftmost one’s legs and leapt up to kick the back of his knee. The man went tumbling to the ground with a curse, but the other changed direction quickly and snatched his arm, lifting him into the air. Mysterion would have dangled helplessly, but he wasn’t afraid to fight dirty. He pulled himself up and bit down hard into the man’s arm, tasting blood drawn by his canines as he was dropped roughly. It freed him, but he’d pissed them off now. The first man sent an awkward kick at his back, dropping Mysterion to the ground with a hacking cough, and the second one shoved his face into the linoleum. A crack and splitting pain told him his nose had been broken, but he’d built up a tolerance to it by now. No way would he back out of this fight. He whipped a switchblade from his pocket and jabbed it into the man’s arm, who hollered and let go immediately. Now bleeding from two places, he was obviously starting to reconsider his pay grade, but the first man was still full of fight. 

         Brandishing his switchblade, Mysterion glared menacingly at the towering figure, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his fist. He took a running jump and slammed a kick into his groin, but was almost immediately grabbed and bashed back to the floor despite the pained groans from the man. This was bad. No matter what he did, he was simply overpowered. At least he was face-up this time. He struggled against him, but his blade had been stolen, and both men held him by an arm on either side now. The pain from his broken nose was starting to blur his thoughts and vision. Consciousness fading, the sound of fake metal boots signaled Professor Chaos’s approach. He stood over Mysterion with a delighted grin, stepping roughly on his chest. He seemed almost overrun with glee  from the situation. 

         “I said nobody would stop me and I meant it! I dunno who you are, but Chaos will reign, and a lil’ thing like you with no powers can’t do nothin’ about it.” The words echoed in Mysterion’s head and snapped his consciousness back. Powers? Was he implying that Chaos did have powers? He studied the other much more carefully, giving him a second glance. He was short, maybe shorter than him, but it was hard to tell when he was being stood over. His blond hair fell to one side over his helmet, and his bright blue eyes glistened with something that sent a shiver down his spine. He understood at that moment why Professor Chaos did what he did. It wasn’t about the crime, it was about having power. It was about being in control. He could see it in those ocean hues. 
         Control that came with super abilities, apparently. 
         Without warning, a blinding electric shock scattered across Mysterion’s body, and he cried out in pain as Chaos pressed his boot deeper. His entire stomach felt alight with flame for a brief moment, and it left him gasping for breath. Electricity. Was that the point of the metal? To amplify his powers? Dizziness overtook him.
         “Bastard,” he hissed weakly, starting to feel darkness overtake him. It’d be really inconvenient if he passed out here without dying. 
         “That’s so mean!” Professor Chaos put a hand to his lips, almost seeming actually hurt. “I’m just tryna cause a little chaos.” With those words, he sent another shock coursing through Mysterion’s body, and something inside the hooded boy snapped.

         For a moment, he didn’t know what had happened. It felt like he didn’t exist- almost like the moment when he died. But no, he was alive, and the feeling was returning to his body. What the hell?? Mysterion regained perception of his surroundings and realized he was standing on the other side of the trio, on his feet. His memory caught up to him quickly, though he couldn’t quite believe it. His hands solidified from a purple, hazy mist, and his eyes widened in shock. Had he disappeared out of their grasp? He couldn’t let his shock command him for very long, though- despite the open-mouthed expressions of the trio, they ran towards him with a holler anyways. Adrenaline fueling his body, Mysterion kicked into action. He disappeared through the first goon, now well aware of how his body dematerialized into smoke. On the other side he delivered a swift kick to his back, then snatched him by the neck with his smoke and smashed him to the ground. Easy. He felt power coursing through him like never before. Professor Chaos, clearly freaked out, let out a yelp and backed up.
         “Wh- what the-??”

         Just as he spoke, sirens began wailing in the distance. Mysterion glanced up- shit. The clerk must have called the cops. Professor Chaos took notice of this too and started tugging on his downed minion’s sleeve.
         “C-C’mon, fellas, let’s get outta here!!” They scrambled out the door just as the cars pulled up. "You won't get away with this!!" A few shots were fired but it seemed all three escaped the police safely. Paralyzed with shock, Mysterion held a gloved hand to his nose, breathing heavily. The officers held a gun to his head, but the clerk quickly defended him, saying that he’d been the one to fight off the enemy. As she did, the media hurriedly pushed their way inside. Before Mysterion knew it, he had a microphone at his lips. 

         “We’re with the kid that saved the 7-11 from the crook now- and what is your name? You look like a superhero!”
         “... Mysterion.” He was too exhausted to answer anything else.
         “Tell me, Mysterion- did you get a good look at the criminal? Do you know who they were?” He glanced down, taking a moment to process this. He’d never encountered a supervillain before. 
         “His name is… Professor Chaos.” The reporter gave a shocked look, holding the mic back up to himself.
         “There you have it, folks! It seems we have real-life superheroes and villains in our humble town! We’ll update more on Mysterion and Professor Chaos when…” The reporter’s voice blurred into nothingness in Mysterion’s head. He knew he was about to pass out- he had to act quickly. He slipped away, pocketing one of the policemen’s guns and disappearing into the night. Once he was about a block away, he took it out and sighed softly. His injuries from tonight were too great. If he went home with them, everyone would be suspicious.
         Instead, he flicked off the safety and shot into his head.

~~~

         “Kenny! Kenny, wake up!” 
         Kenny blinked blearily awake, sleeping like a baby in his not-too-comfortable bed as always. His sister’s voice graced his ears, and he felt her small hands tugging at his sleeve. He rubbed whis eyes and pulled himself into a sitting position, tugging his hood tight.
         “Wh’ssup?”
         “It’s Mysterion, it’s the Guardian Angel I told you about!! He’s on the news, he stopped a bad guy!!” Oh boy. The night before came rushing back to him. Kenny pulled himself out of bed and followed Karen downstairs to their shitty CRT. Sure enough, there he- or rather, Mysterion- was, looking dazed as all hell. He heard his own voice, though more gravelly, over the speakers. ‘Professor Chaos’. Upon hearing that name, he blinked back to when he’d been pinned down by him just for a moment. Chaos’s bright blue eyes flashed in his mind, delighting in commanding and controlling others. How could someone enjoy such a thing?
         “What’s wrong, big bro?” Kenny looked down at Karen, realizing he’d been fiddling with his hands. He quickly put them at his sides.
         “Nothin’,” he lied through his muffled hood. Karen seemed to take this at face value.
         “Isn’t he amazing? I told you he’s real!! My Guardian Angel is a superhero!!” Kenny let out a breath and watched the reporter ramble on.
         “Yeah, I guess he is.”

Chapter Text

        “Once again, the small town hero Mysterion has saved the day, taking out the criminals that threatened the local bank last night…” 
        Kenny hummed softly to himself as glimpses of Mysterion flashed on the news once more. He’d never expected to be a network sensation, but the entire town was now wondering who was behind the mask. How troublesome. He had his own questions about Mysterion as well- his powers grew stronger every day, and he felt compelled to take on the mask more and more. It was as if he’d found identity under this hero’s name, but it wasn’t quite that either. Something told him Mysterion was another identity altogether- but that didn’t make sense in the slightest. He groaned and fell back on the couch, arms out as the arguing from his parents dissolved into white noise in his ears. Mysterion was Karen’s protector, right? So why did he feel like Kenny’s as well? Huffing softly, the boy counted the cracks in the ceiling plaster. Maybe he could talk to Butters about this later. 
        You’ll be fine. Butters will understand- just don’t mention my name. Kenny closed his eyes and resigned to the thought that he might be crazy.
        Whatever you say, Myst.

~~~

        "Uuuh, Kenny? Keeeenny, are you awake?"

        Kenny awoke with a start to Butters standing over him, shaking his arm gently. The blond's bright blue hues brought back his nightmare vividly- Professor Chaos's eyes alight with delight as he sent shocks throughout Mysterion's body. He pushed the thought away and blinked up at the other.
        “Guess I fell asleep,” he murmured through his coat, sitting up. Somehow he’d passed out long enough to miss Butters’ arrival. “Yeesh.”
         “Oh gee, it’s alright!” Butters flashed a bright smile, tapping his hands together. “I’m just happy I got to sleep over!! Eric would never do that with me.” Kenny let out a huff, well aware that the only reason Cartman would ever think of inviting Butters to sleep over was to use him. Sometimes he couldn’t believe he hung out with that guy. Butters, however, really sang his tune- he wasn't sure at first, but now he was certain he'd only convinced himself the other was lame because everyone at school thought so. Despite his disposition he was down for a lot, and talking about girls and random crap was always a good time. He liked his usual friend group, sure, but he didn't feel judged around Butters. It was freeing. Of course, he still had his secrets, but that wouldn't ever change.
        "Wanna play video games?" Kenny gestured a gloved thumb towards the staircase with a shrug. He'd borrowed Stan's PS4 and games just for this occasion. 
        "You bet I do!!" Butters let out a whoop and raced upstairs, whilst Kenny followed behind with nonchalance. He was still a bit groggy, but that would change after a few matches, for sure. Plus, he didn't need to talk for at least a couple hours. Bonus points. 

~~~

        “Woohoo!!” Kenny threw his hands up in the air, seconds after destroying Butters once more. Just because they were friends didn’t mean he wouldn’t go hard on him. That’s how the others indoctrinated him, and in his eyes was the only way to learn. 
        “Aw, phooey!” Butters huffed and tossed the controller to the side. “I don’t think I’m no good at this game. Can we stop for a lil’ while?” Kenny shrugged and dropped his controller onto the bed without a care. Everybody rage quits, he’d be back on and trying again eventually. For all his losses, Butters was persistent. He liked that about him. Kenny hummed casually and plopped onto his back. He’d been delaying telling the other about Mysterion all day- how was he supposed to bring that up? Oh yeah, guess what Butters? I’ve got another fucking person in my head! He closed his eyes, realizing how stupid he sounded. There’s no way he could--
        “Hey, Kenny? Uh…” Butters cut off Kenny’s thoughts, nervousness lacing through his voice. He sat up just a little, propping himself on an arm. “... Why do you like having me here? I mean, I’m bad at video games, I know I’m boring to be around.. And yet you invite me over all the time lately. What do I have that they don’t?” They, of course, being Cartman, Kyle, and Stan, his closest friends. He pulled his hood up over his face and let out a breath. How was he supposed to explain this? Not even just that, how was he supposed to articulate it all without sounding long-winded? He thought for just a moment.
        “... I trust you,” He started through his coat. Man, this was hard. Yeah, the gang was his ride-or-die, but.. “You’re somebody separate I can get along with. You’re…” He let out another breath, glancing aside, “...Special.” Was it getting hot in here? Kenny wasn’t used to spilling his guts like this. Well, metaphorically, that is. 

         “Oh wow, I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before!” Butters’ eyes widened and he put his hands to his mouth in shock. A giggle escaped him and he kicked his legs happily- Kenny was just glad he’d explained it properly. “Thanks a ton- you’re one of my best friends.” Wow, a best friend. Though he’d always been part of the group, Kenny didn’t think he’d ever been anyone’s best friend before. How lucky was he? It almost pushed his nervous energy from his mind. 
         “Mine too,” he answered, tilting his head softly. For once, he wasn’t worried about whether he should say something or go along with whatever the gang was doing. He felt in his element- maybe he could actually start to speak freely. He dropped back down onto bed, averting his eyes upwards. “...Butters, can I tell you something?”
        “Yeah, of course, you can tell me anything!” This was what he needed. An open, inviting environment. He’d totally get made fun of if he was with the guys. He let out a slow breath and took down his hood, voice no longer muffled.

        “Sometimes I don’t… Feel like myself.” Shit, this was hard to explain. “Like I’m someone else.” Kenny knew he was going to get a chuckle from Butters, or at least confusion. Right?
        “Well, uh… That’s pretty normal, at least I think so.” Wait, what? Kenny gave the other blond a look. “I mean, sometimes we all feel like somebody different… Or, like, not what everybody wants you to be.” That was… Ominous. He wasn’t sure what Butters was talking about, but he knew it wasn’t the same. He shook his head stubbornly.
        “No, it’s not that. It’s like… Someone else entirely.” Already weary, Kenny sat up and pulled his legs to his chest. “I can hear him, Butters. And sometimes he… Becomes me. But I trust him! I trust him with my life. He protects me, man. I’m not crazy.” Butters was silent for a moment, and regret slowly built like a snowball in his chest. How had he thought this could be a good idea? What had he done? 

        “I, uh… A doctor thought I had that, a long while ago. The City Wok guy, remember?” Kenny sat up straighter. No way, Butters knew what he was talking about?! He’d forgotten all about that. “Multiple… Personalities.” A spike of irritation drove through him. Was it him, or Mysterion? Did it matter? 
        “People. He’s a person.”
        “R-Right, right… Sorry. They were, uh, wrong back then, y’know? I was just playing pretend. But it sounds real for you.” Butters set a hand on his shoulder, and Kenny leaned into it slightly, just glad the other wasn’t jumping down his throat or running away screaming. He could never tell the others- even his confidant seemed a little jumpy. What a mess. “What’s, uh… What’s he like? He sounds important to you.”
        “He’s… Sorta like me, but also not.” Kenny set a gloved hand to his chest. “He protects me, and Karen. He’s an edgy bitch, really,” he tentatively joked. It pulled a sincere laugh from Butters, so it must have broken some ground. He could almost feel the tension in his shoulders dissipate.
        Rude.

        “He sounds funny!” Bright blue eyes glittered, trying to show support. Kenny appreciated it more than the other would ever know. “I bet he’s really strong! Sometimes we all need a little control in our lives.” Vulnerable, Kenny felt his heart melt. Control… Right, Mysterion could make sense of the horrible world they lived in. He could find control in the chaos. Under that mask, Mysterion could do things Kenny couldn’t. Butters really understood. He flashed a heartfelt smile, pulling his hood back on.
        “Thanks, Butters.”
        “No problem! Say, wanna get back on the game? I totally bet I can beat you this time!!” Rejuvenated, Kenny snagged a controller and started a new match. Maybe nobody would ever know about Mysterion the hero- but at least he could share this with Butters, and feel a little more real.

Chapter Text

        One moment, Mysterion had been nearly unconscious, a haze of mist clouding his perception. The next, he was staring down the long hallways of school.
        The transition had been jarring before, but this was another level. Dazed, Mysterion glanced around him, getting his bearings as he analyzed his surroundings. He clearly wasn’t needed currently, he never dealt with school. So why the hell was he here?
        Kenny? No response. Kenny, where are you? You know I can’t handle school! Met with deafening silence within their mind, Mysterion groaned inwardly and resigned to the fact he’d probably have to handle the rest of the school day himself. Where was he supposed to be going, anyways? He hurried over to Kenny’s locker to grab his backpack, and subsequently his binder. He scanned the schedule a moment- looks like he was supposed to be in science class currently. So why was he out in the hall? The mysteries just kept piling up. He rolled his eyes and started towards the classroom, but was interrupted by a bright green and orange form turning the corner to spot him. 

        “Kenny!! There you are. C’mon dude, we can’t do the project without you.” Kyle flashed a light smile at him, and Mysterion felt a pit drop in his stomach. Oh no, Kenny was in the middle of doing something with his friends? What if he acted weird?? Shit. He racked his brain for how to respond. No words came to mind, ending up utterly blank. He glanced down for just a moment, then awkwardly mumbled gibberish through his hood.
        “Mm… Mrghmnphmnh?” Kyle paused for a moment, as if trying to decipher what he said, then shrugged and turned back in the direction he came.
        “Great! C’mon, let’s go.” Despite feeling almost offended, relief swept through Mysterion. Well, that worked. He followed Kyle back to the group, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Sitting in the hallway were Cartman and Stan, both surrounding a container with multiple plastic boxes inside.
        “Holy shit, dude.” Cartman looked up with wide eyes. “We thought you’d gotten flushed down the toilet.” Mysterion huffed and gave a wave, crouching down with the others to observe the project. In the plastic boxes were various types of food- or rather, what used to be food. What was probably a strawberry had been overtaken with white mold, and other containers held things like green mashed potatoes, what might have been cream cheese a long time ago, and a horribly discolored piece of chicken. Fucking gross. Mysterion scrunched up his nose a little. 
        “I’ve been writing down the traits of each type of mold and cataloguing their growth,” Kyle announced, producing a clipboard and sitting down with everybody else. “I think we should start researching their names and stuff.”
        “Want me to do that?” Stan asked, tapping his pen against the floor absently. 
        “Yeah, get on it if you can. Kenny, do you have the stuff?” What was Kyle talking about? Oh great. A project on mold, and he was supposed to have something to do with it. How did he end up in these situations?? Trying to seem cool about it, he reached into his pockets, praying to the gods there would be something inside. A small cylinder came into contact with his glove, and he snagged it thankfully. Holding it out under the yellowed school lights, he almost wished he hadn’t. 

        Inside the otherwise-empty pill bottle was just, flat-out shit. Literally. Feces, sitting there inside, probably growing something disgusting. Mysterion was lucky he didn’t hurl on the spot. Cartman snatched it as he desperately tried to keep a straight face. He’d been electrocuted, shot, trampled on, and just about everything else, and yet this was somehow one of the worst experiences Mysterion had ever had in his entire life.
        “Awesome! This is sweet, Kenny,” Cartman chirped, giving the bottle’s contents a good look. Kyle also looked a bit squeamish, but he seemed pretty objectively-minded right now. 
        “Alright, cool. When did you, uh… Start that growth, again, Kenny?” Oh dear gods. Mysterion didn’t want to think about Kenny shitting into a bottle and then capping it to make it grow disgusting things. He wasn’t even sure when the hell that happened.
        March 13th.
        “March 13th,” Mysterion echoed without thinking, before realizing he’d just been fed information. Kenny! Get the hell out here, I don’t want to do this! Lucky for him, there was absolutely no response. How did he get into these situations?? 
        “Thanks,” Kyle hummed absently, as if they weren’t discussing the most gross thing ever. Mysterion let out a breath as Cartman set the bottle down next to everything else. 
        “Can I see your list, Kyle?” Stan sat up a bit and held out a hand. “I gotta see the traits to research kinds of--” 

        Stan paused in his tracks as the screens in the hallways flickered to life. They were still left over from the one time Cartman took over the announcements system, but they hadn’t been online in ages. It took a moment for them to boot up, but once they did, Mysterion felt his stomach drop. On the screen was Professor Chaos, a wild grin across his lips. Holy shit.
        “Hello, South Park school! If you don’t know me, I am Professor Chaos! Ah-hahahaha!!” He clapped his gloved hands together in delight, and Mysterion couldn’t help but notice they were real metal this time, interlaced with fabric at the joints. He must have realized tinfoil wasn’t much of a conductor. Wait, no, he needed to focus! 
        “Who the fuck is that?” Cartman quipped, arching an eyebrow. “He looks like a wimp. I could take him down.”

        “As you all know,” Chaos continued on-screen, “math class is a central part of everybody’s day at school, but who really likes it?? Nobody, that’s who!! That’s why this is a special announcement that the school will now be gettin’ rid of math class!!!” He let out a cackle, and Kyle and Stan exchanged a glance. Cartman let out a huff.
        “Well, if he’s taking away math class, I’m not bothering with getting involved," the brunet commented. Mysterion, however, waited for the threat. Chaos must know he couldn’t pull something like this off without leverage, and he had a feeling the other had something in mind.
        “Now I know some of you teachers out there might not really like the idea of gettin’ rid of math class. Which is why I have a little bit of an incentive to make you change your mind!” Chaos turned the screen and it went black for just a moment, then flicked on and refocused on a panicking figure tied to a chair. Bright blue eyes widened in terror, Butters struggled and whined against a gag tied around his mouth.
        “Holy crap, is that Butters??” Kyle stood up, and Mysterion’s breath caught in his throat. He had Butters! How dare he?! He rose to his feet as well, balling his fists angrily. Cartman whistled lowly, and Stan put a hand to his mouth. The screen cut back to Chaos.

 
       “If you want this kid to return home safe, then you’ll remove math class from the curriculum! And if not, well, let’s say the result will be shocking! Heheheh!” Chaos held up a hand and from it crackled visible electricity. Mysterion bit his lip- he had to get out of here, but how could he without it seeming suspicious? “You have one hour to make your decision!! I’ll be back then! Chaos out!” And with that, the screen went dark. The group was silent for a brief moment. Mysterion sat down, knowing he couldn’t look too tense lest he raise suspicion.
        “Well, I’ll make some popcorn before the hour’s up. It’s hidden out in the faculty lounge.”
        “Cartman!” Kyle snapped, giving the brunet an incredulous look for his comment.
        “Never thought I’d see the day when a supervillain threatens the school,” Stan added, seeming pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. 
        “I thought you’d be on my side! Shouldn’t we go help him or something?” In response, all of the others shrugged with an “eh”. Mysterion did this as well, knowing that if he seemed uncaring then he’d have an easier way out. “I can’t believe you guys sometimes,” Kyle huffed, indignant. He sat down regardless though, continuing with their project.

A few minutes passed, and Mysterion had a feeling he might be able to sneak away now. He paused in his work and looked up.
        “I gotta use the bathroom again,” He mentioned, muffled through his coat. It was hard to pitch up his voice to fool them, but it worked anyways.
        “What?? Again?? Dude,” Cartman commented.
        “C’mon, I gotta go again!!” Mysterion insisted, doing his best to imitate his host. He sat up, and Cartman groaned and rolled his eyes.
        “If you get flushed down the toilet this time I’m not getting you out.”
        “Gee, thanks.” Mysterion stood up and hurried away from the group, knowing he had to act fast. What were the faculty doing about this? He’d get changed and visit there first.

        Mysterion felt so much better now that he’d donned his signature hood and outfit. He’d sewn the question mark into his hood and exchanged out the underwear on the outside for a leather utility belt. He thought his new look seemed less stupid. He hurried to the faculty office and opened the door. Inside, Mr. Mackey and PC Principal were debating on what to do. When he stepped in though, they both turned to him and Mr. Mackey let out a yelp.
        “Whoa, who are you??”
        “My name is Mysterion.” Mysterion stepped forward, covering his mouth instinctively with his cape. “I know Professor Chaos- we’ve clashed many times. I’m here to help.”

        “Well perfect!” Mr. Mackey chimed, standing up. “Maybe you can help us figure out what to do.”
        “The safety of our students is our prime concern,” PC Principal started, crossing his arms. “Butters Stotch is in danger, that needs to be our main topic.”
        “But he wants us to get rid of math class!” Mr. Mackey protested. “Math is one of the most important parts of school, m’kay? We can’t just take it off the curriculum.”
        “Have you figured out where Chaos is?” Mysterion cut in, hopping up onto the chair that faced the front desk. “If we stop him without hurting Butters, then the problem will be solved.”
        “Since the door is locked and the tile in the background of the video,” PC Principal explained, “we think he’s in the masculine-identifying bathroom.”
        Mysterion nodded and turned around. “Let me take care of the rest.”
        “Wait! What’re you gonna do??” Mr. Mackey stood up from his seat.
        “What I always do,” Mysterion replied darkly. “Take Chaos down, and make him pay for what he’s done.” 

        There was no getting through the door to the boys’ bathroom, but Mysterion wasn’t going that way. Instead, he stood outside next to the tiny window that led inside, where kids would peek in sometimes to watch drama going down. He crouched down and gave a look inside, where he could spy on Chaos for a moment to get his bearings. The small villain was pacing back and forth inside, holding an iPad. That must have been what he used to broadcast his face to the school. But where was Butters? Now that he thought about it, it hadn’t looked like the other was in the bathroom at all. He’d get it out of Chaos if it was the last thing he did- nobody messed with his and Kenny’s friend. He let out a breath and cracked his knuckles, channeling his honed powers and preparing to go in. Mysterion counted to three and, with the aid of his mist, threw a single punch at the bathroom window between the panels. As predicted, it smashed to pieces and Chaos looked up in shock. 

        Mysterion slipped through the hole he made, scraping his arm only a little before landing on the bathroom floor. Chaos let out a yelp.
        “Mysterion!! Curses, how are you here again??” Chaos balled his fists in front of him, narrowing his eyes. He looked pretty angry- he must not have expected to be confronted by his rival in this setting.
        "I will always stop your plans, Chaos,” Mysterion assured, shifting his stance as he prepared to fight. He knew he was superior in physical combat, so he wasn’t too worried about it. Professor Chaos, however, looked way too confident.
        “Not this time, Mysterion! I have a couple tricks up my sleeve too.” Professor Chaos put his hands together, and before he could respond, shot a giant beam of electricity in Mysterion’s direction. He attempted to dodge, but he couldn’t move faster than light- the right half of his body was hit, and he cried out in pain as his leg suddenly refused to stop working. Mysterion gasped hoarsely as he dropped to the floor, his leg and arm twitching slightly. Holy shit. When did Chaos get so powerful?? The blue-eyed villain seemed a bit surprised that he’d generated that much energy as well, but he shook it off quickly. Mysterion wondered for a moment how much of the other’s persona was fabricated, but his aching limbs didn’t let him ponder too deeply. 

        “See, Mysterion? I told you I’d win next time, and now I will!” Chaos cackled and set his hands on his hips. “You’d better get outta here, or I’ll- whoa!!” Mysterion jabbed his left foot out at Chaos’s legs, causing him to trip and fall. His helmet clanged against the floor and the villain groaned, holding his head. Yeesh, that looked like it hurt. Mysterion dragged himself to his feet and reached down to take off Chaos’s helmet, and maybe recognize his identity- but the other acted quickly. He aimed behind him and struck the sink with lightning, spilling water everywhere. Then with a determined coldness in his gaze, stuck his hand in the stream.
        “Shit!” Mysterion leapt on top of the urinal as Chaos electrified the entire water-covered floor. Immune, Chaos stood and laughed maniacally, holding out his hands.
        “You can’t touch me now! Math class will be gone forever!! ” Dammit, what should he do? He thought for a moment, then an idea struck him. Right, his utility belt. He pulled out a small cylinder with a red button on top and held it out, thumb hovering over the button.

        “Do you know what this is?” Chaos looked the item up and down, seeming nervous all the sudden.
        “What…?”
        “It’s a detonator,” Mysterion answered with deadly honesty. “If I press this button, the bomb embedded in my belt will go off, and it’ll take us both out.” Of course, this was a bluff- he would never blow up the school, or kill Chaos. But it was a good last resort. “I’m not afraid to die. Are you?” Horror crossed Chaos’s face, his expression dropping instantly. He backed up slightly, putting his hands up.
        “N-No, wait, please!!” Chaos’s voice broke, panic striking through it. “Don’t do that!!”
        “Release Butters and call off your threat, then.”
        “Okay, okay!!” Chaos waved his hands frantically, taking a sharp breath. “You win this time, just don’t blow anything up!!” Mysterion tipped his head towards the door.
        “Then go free Butters, and don’t show your face at this school again.” With that, Chaos unlocked the bathroom door and rushed away. Mysterion exhaled heavily, thankful that Butters would be alright. Thank goodness he’d made Chaos step down. Every time they fought, it felt like they pushed each other’s limits. His gloves had helped him channel his electricity immensely- the hooded hero would have to be more careful from now on. He dropped onto the now-safe floor and headed back to the office.
        Can I see Butters?? Kenny asked almost frantically, and Mysterion nodded once.
        Yeah. I’ll go change.

        Dressed in his comfy orange coat, Kenny rushed to the faculty office. Chaos had kidnapped Butters!! Of all the horrible things to happen!! He burst into the office to find Butters sitting in the chair, seeming shell shocked. 
        “I-It was so scary, I was tied to this chair, and- and he said he was gonna electrocute me, and…” Butters hiccuped softly, rubbing his eyes. Kenny hurried to the chair and wrapped his arms around the other.
        “Butters!!”
        “Kenny!!” Butters gasped and buried his head in Kenny’s shoulder, and the boy’s pounding heart subsided a little. He was safe, and wasn’t harmed. Thank gods. “I was worried.” Butters was safe now, and that’s all that mattered. He’d protected the person he lo-- cared for, and he couldn’t ask for anything else.