Chapter Text
Dazai wasn’t particularly picky when it came to food, after all, he didn’t have the luxury to be picky since getting to eat even once after a few days was as best as it could get for him. He also never had a preference even now since everything generally tastes dull to him. That’s why he wonders what was so special about that sweet bread (He thinks it’s called cake) and candies that Elise and the kids he saw always ate.
Dazai watched as Mori spoil Elise with different cakes and sweets every day after he became boss of the port mafia, though that didn’t generally mean he didn’t do it before when he was just a doctor, from what he can tell he just probably gives her more now.
He got more curious as time went by and so he did some research. The brunette had a hard time falling asleep so he used that time to search up online instead of pointlessly tossing and turning.
He continued his research until he finally got curious enough to go out and try some in nearby cafes and bakeries. Dazai may not buy stuff using money often or at all but he was getting paid pretty well from the work he does in the mafia, that’s why he doesn’t have to worry too much about his expenses at this moment.
He went down the streets and roamed around until he finally found his targeted pastry shop, (name of bakery). He went in and was immediately covered in warmth; the small bakery was pretty cozy. It was dimly lit but you could still see very well, there were only 2 tables on each side if you so ever wish to snack inside the bakery.
In the middle was where the display glass was, there were a lot of pastries inside it. Dazai promptly got closer and from then on could he finally smell the scrumptious aroma of the bread and pastries.
He called out to the sweet old lady that probably owned the store and asked for some cake options. He ended up buying a normal one-piece chocolate and strawberry cake. He figured this should be enough and went back to the apartment Mori gave him.
He didn’t really put too much stuff in it other than supplies he might need and necessary appliances. When Dazai got back, he went straight to the table to check out the cake.
He rushed to the table to try the cake after a long time, he ran because he was curious of course, and not because he was excited. Alright fine, there were some aspects of excitement that he felt but it didn’t really matter. He wouldn’t tell anyone but, to be honest, he didn’t even have anyone to tell it to, and hell knows he’d rather die before Mori finds out.
Dazai slowly opened the box that held the first cake; he felt the anticipation bubbling up in him so he’s trying to savor that feeling for as long as he could.
He finally opened the box and took out a plastic fork, his curiosity about to explode. He took the first bite and he has to admit that it actually tastes good. He can sort of understand what the excitement it was for these types of pastries.
The rich and creamy flavor cake filling was surprisingly good, Dazai wouldn’t mind eating it a few times but the only fault in it was that it was too sweet for him if you ate it too much alone without water.
He took a few more bites out of the chocolate one before he moved on to the next cake, strawberry. He took a sip of water to wash away the previous influences of the chocolate before taking a bite of the strawberry.
The strawberry was alright, just not his cup of tea. He didn’t really hate the cake flavor but neither did he like it, He supposes that the only time he’d actually eat it again was if the situation called for him to eat it or if his tastes for it would change in the future.
He closed up both of the cakes in their mini take-out box and slid them inside his near bare fridge and threw out the plastic fork he used in eating.
Dazai rarely ever had the energy to even wake up in the mornings that’s why he never bothers to actually make an effort in cozying up the apartment he lives in at the moment. If he did, then he’ll get attached and all of it will be taken away from him like it always does.
Dazai shook his head and just spread himself on the couch nearest to him; it didn’t really make more of a difference than he thought it would. Of course, anything was better than sleeping in the cold embrace of the hard concrete floor.
And so he closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep early for once. And yet here he was staring up at the ceiling at probably 1 in the morning, still awake.
He tossed and turned for hours since he did originally plan to go to sleep today at around 10 for once. Dazai sighed before slowly getting up, blinking for a few seconds as his eyes blurred for a while.
He took out a laptop and once again searched through more pastry reviewing videos, which is until he saw a video that caught his eyes: A cooking tutorial video. It showed him a tutorial on how to create a few delicious-looking foods but then he had a thought, ‘Is there tutorial videos made for baking pastries like cake?’
He searched it up and there he saw tons of video recommendations for baking tutorials, he would have been far more embarrassed had people known but right now all he could feel was the disappointment in himself for not searching it up earlier.
So he then pressed the first video and in his honest opinion, he was getting interested in the idea of baking. And so if he woke up with eye bags tomorrow, no one had to know why. Did he regret himself for sleeping so late? No.
After years of feeling empty and dull, Dazai quite liked the bubbling feeling of anticipation when he thinks of trying out baking, a new goal. And so if people saw the uncharacteristic skip in his step, the small upturn on his lip, or the slight light in the normally serious brunette, no one dared to comment on it.
The behavior went on for the whole day; everyone was taken aback by the usually dark and serious kid acting out genuine feelings. No one dared to utter a word because if they did their superior, who has known the kid for a while, would give them a glare promising death.
The Mafioso’s all secretly had a soft spot whether they know it or not, though they didn’t know the kid for too long, all they knew was that Dazai was forced to grow up far too young maybe even younger than they did.
Though everyone has experienced some form of trauma at some point in their life, never did they start off as young as the genius kid that walked with empty eyes. Most of them had a childhood at least, though not all had good ones they still had one moment where they were happy. Unfortunately, Dazai never got to experience that kind of happiness, for all the knowledge he has, he was truly clueless when it came to the subject of feelings and emotions.
They ached for the brunette that stayed by Mori’s side, they wish to help truly but they know of all the masks that the kid uses to hide all the trauma and pain. They know he’s serious when he talks about suicide and yet none of them could do anything to help, all they could do for now was stay behind him and keep an extra eye out.
Sure it might not exactly last but it both ached and warmed up their hearts once they saw the slight light that glowed in the usual empty eyes of the Genius strategist, Dazai Osamu. They ached at how different and happy he might have turned out if he was never dragged into all this darkness at such a young age. And yet they also warmed at the thought that something, no matter how little had managed to squeeze out a drop in the boy.
They know it won’t last but they’ll be a little selfish just this once and imagined it might.
Dazai noticed the weirdly calm aura from the mafia today. Sure it might seem the same from an outsider but he’s been here long enough to notice the calm and sweet atmosphere the moment he stepped into the room.
People would greet him and some would even smile his way, he didn’t know why but all he knows is that he didn’t mind it.
The day continues as it was because as long as it didn’t pull him back from his goal for the time being then he’ll allow them to continue on like this.
Everything ended on a suspiciously good note but for once Dazai could care less, all he could think of was buying the supplies he needed for the little project he’s quite excited to do.
He’s already prepared a note list for all the containers and ingredients he would need, he also prepared a request note for a 3-day leave. All he needs to do now is give it to Mori, persuade him if it comes to it, and then everything will go as he planned.
If all else fails it’s not like he’ll listen anyways. It’s been so long since he felt something nice and he sure as hell isn’t letting Mori of all people take that away from him.
He approached the familiar door of the boss’s office and kept walking straight, the guards stationed outside letting him in without a word.
“Dazai-kun! So good of you to visit me today” Mori said the moment he saw the young brunette, a picture-perfect smile resting on his face. It might fool everyone because of how flawless the expression was but not Dazai, never Dazai. He’s seen the person beneath that smile and he’d be stupid to even let his guard down around the man with that knowledge.
“So what brings you here?” Mori continued, snapping Dazai from his mini-rant, and proceeded to walk to the older man’s desk, his leave permit in hand.
“I want to take a 3-day leave” A short and straightforward answer, nothing more, nothing less it’s better that way.
“Oh~?” Mori hummed and though it might seem like a perfectly innocent response Dazai could see the calculative look in those eyes. The way they picked him apart little by little.
Those same eyes were the reason why Dazai had to learn to cover every trace of him with a masked personality accompanied by fake movements. He put on masks upon masks until he wasn’t sure who he was anymore until even he didn’t know if he originally does certain things.
“Very well” Mori said and with that Dazai left as quickly as he could without bringing too much suspicion. He always did hate being alone with Mori.
And with that Dazai went home with an unusual skip in his step. Everyone who saw simply melted at the sight, especially with the small twinkle in his eyes and a small smile displaying on his lips. He’s acting like a normal child for once.
Dazai went home and crashed down on his bed, tired yet excited for the next 3 days of experimenting.
The first day wasn’t really too eventful considering it was mostly used up to buying and preparing the stuff he needed for the next day. He woke up early, for once going through with a pre-planned day instead of going off course since he’s actually excited about this once.
Instead of asking someone else to go get him the materials as he’d usually do, he opted to go out and get it himself. He can’t risk Mori finding out, or well not so soon at least. He knows Mori would find out eventually but the longer the mafia boss doesn’t the better.
The whole day was reserved for shopping because he knows just how long it would take to actually get everything. He’s experienced hours of delay whenever he was brought Forced along when Mori takes Elise shopping for more clothes and sweets.
As always, the young genius was right as he was still shopping though the sun has long set. The malls and stores were all annoyingly filled to the brim with people; it irked Dazai that of all times, it had to be when he was going to be doing something that made him feel positive.
With a sigh, Dazai tiredly walked back to the huge apartment he lived at for the time being. It was quiet with no people in sight and though Dazai hated it when it was too quiet, the walk home was very calming and relaxing to him.
He rarely got times like those to himself anymore, just walking around with a positive outlook and no dark thoughts plaguing his mind, just pure and utter calmness as he takes a moment to appreciate the little things that he still appreciated in this cursed world.
Opening the front door, Dazai quickly ran to the table to put down the dozen bags he was carrying. Catching his breath as he realized how sore and tired he was, the brunette stretched a little before coming back to put the stuff away properly. Well, most of it.
He put away some stuff but the rest was left on a different counter, hopefully, high enough to not get damaged as he takes a short shower before bed.
Dazai always hated coming here considering how the quiet apartment unnerved him but for once, he couldn’t find it in himself to worry for the time being. He fell asleep with such rare ease as he fell into a dreamless sleep.
An equally as rare smile on his face as the tiredness of his body relaxed on the bed.
The next 2 days were quite memorable making it pass quicker than the people he has ever come to love. Dazai quietly chuckled at the little dark joke he made. Overall, the little experiment was chaotic and ended with flour and sugar stuck in the crevices of his kitchen but it’s all worth it. He hates to admit it but that was the most fun he’s had in a while.
‘I wonder how Elise liked the cookies’ Dazai thought, before shaking his head. Why should he care about her? Although he did give her some sweets anonymously but he only did that as a secret thanks for unconsciously helping him find his new favorite hobby.
Sure he’s known the girl for a long time but it was more so due to the whims of the boss, underlying orders that needn’t be said but understood. It’s very obvious to anyone that could see and hear that Mori loves Elise.
With a huff, Dazai fastened his pace as he walked into Mori’s office with his daily reports. Contrary to what Chuuya or the rest of his subordinates may think but he does in fact do his reports, although his clear despise of them.
He places down the stack of paper into the older male’s desk without a care in the world before turning around and trying to leave as fast as possible without being too suspicious. He’s always hated how suffocating it felt whenever he was near Mori.
The brunette bit his lip slightly as he neared the door but just as he was mere inches away from the knob, a sickeningly sweet voice called out to him.
“Ah and before you go Dazai-kun,” The honey-dipped voice of Mori’s rang around the room that seemed to become bigger than what it originally was.
Dazai gave a slightly bored and disinterested hum as an answer as he straightened his stance, back still facing the boss. The young teen clenched his fists ever so slightly as to seem more confident than what he was actually feeling.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” Dazai could almost scoff as Mori said that because of course, the other male would sense his discomfort, he always hated the fact that someone else could read him so easily like an open book.
“I just wanted to mention that I’d rather have actual dishes rather than sweets is all” Mori propped his elbows on the table as he placed his head on them, blood-red eyes staring at the teen's back, a calculative smile perfectly in place.
Dazai could feel exhaustion seep into his body, of course, the other man would have known but he at least expected for it to be brought up a bit later rather than now but he supposes it was more so ‘hoped’ rather than ‘known’.
The brunette turned his head around to meet those same eyes with his own dull ones “They were for Elise anyways, not for you”
“I see” Mori gave off an innocent look as they continued to stare off at each other. “ If so, then cook for me one day too”
They stared off for a few more seconds after the last statement before one of them broke the eye contact.
Dazai gave a small hum before turning around and fully leaving Mori alone in his office.
He never truly did