Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Categories:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 34 of In which Palpatine gets screwed
Stats:
Published:
2021-08-27
Updated:
2022-05-05
Words:
989
Chapters:
2/?
Comments:
45
Kudos:
1,086
Bookmarks:
55
Hits:
10,269

In which maybe they should listen

Summary:

In which everyone listens to Cody more (as he's the only one with brains) and thus the galaxy is saved.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They both ducked as the blasters rained down on the two of them in the narrow hallway.  Commander Cody and his General ducked and ran with a few of their men covering their backs.

 

“Fall back!” Obi-Wan ordered with Cody hot on his heels as he spoke into his comm. “This is General Kenobi. Abandon Ship. Abandon Ship!”

 

“Sir, shouldn’t we stay and fight?  We can’t lose the ship now.” 

 

“Cody, the ship is already lost. We must face it. But you and I are going to give Grievous a little parting gift.” He smirked and they broke off from the group, heading down a different hallway.

 

Obi-Wan led him to the command center as his hands worked quickly to set up the still unspoken plan.

 

“Sir? What did you mean by parting gift?”

 

The General turned to flash him one of his dangerous smiles that always meant trouble. 

 

“We, my dear, are going to give him the ship. Of course, if he manages to find it under all its debris in space, then I commend him.”

 

Although the General couldn’t see his face, there was no fooling the absolute excitement that Cody let out. They were done in two minutes, it was, after all, a fairly simple procedure. Cody had one step out the room when he realized Obi-Wan wasn’t leaving with him.

 

“General, are you alright? Aren’t we done?”

 

“Sorry Cody, but not yet. I still have one thing I need to do.”

 

“What is that, sir?”

 

“Why leave a message for Grievous, of course. I’ll start off with my witty banter.” He said, while Cody rolled his eyes behind him. “Then, I’ll tell him that the ship is going to self-destruct.”

 

Cody’s brain blue-screened. “Pardon?” He must have had a virus in his programming, because he was sure he heard the General say that he was going to-

 

“Leave a message for Grievous that the ship is going to explode.” He repeated nonchalantly. 

 

“Sir...why the fuck, would you do that?”

 

“To taunt the man, of course Cody.” He grinned.

 

“Sir, wouldn’t it be better, now hear me out, if General Grievous didn't expect the ship that he’s currently on , continue to hear me out, to be destroyed?”

 

“Come on, Commander, where’s your sense of humour? This is just a spot of fun!”

 

“Fun, sir?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“In war?”

 

“Yes, Commander.”

 

Cody narrowed his eyes, covered by the helmet. “I see.”

 

 

The ship continued to be pelt with enemy fire from all sides as General Grievous entered the command center. 

 

“General, we have secured the ship.” One of the droids informed him.

 

“Excellent. Waste no time, and get me every last piece of information from the data banks."

 

One of the droids working the command holo--desk pressed a button that played a pre-recorded message. Grievous turned with malice at the sound of a clone’s grating voice.

 

One of Kenobi’s precious clone’s was seated in the pilot seat of a ship that was undoubtedly not this one as the slumped unconscious form of General Kenobi crumpled to the copilot side off of his shoulder.

 

“General Grievous, will no due respect sir, sooran ni’jagyc.” 

 

He then pushed a button and Grievous didn’t have time to translate the mando’a insult hurled at him as the invaded ship erupted in a beautiful explosion.

Notes:

obi-Wan, i love you buddy, but what the fuck was that

sooran ni'jagyc: suck my dick

Chapter 2

Summary:

not all of these are connected but some might be tho

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“But why send me, Master Windu? Why should I defeat General Grievous?” Obi-Wan asked, standing in front of the gathered members of the Council, his faithful commander at ease on his right. 

 

Now what to say about Cody…

 

Cody was tired. 

 

He was miserable. 

 

His feet hurt and his head was ringing.

 

He was sick of the war and sick of fighting.

 

He hated that he was bred for war and couldn’t figure out a single way to end it.  

 

“Because Obi-Wan, you stand a higher chance of defeating him than anybody else in this room. I was only able to give him that hacking cough, but you know how to withstand him. How to keep him at bay. You are the Master of Soresu, of waiting for your opponent to tire themselves out and burst forth with a renewed vigor.”

 

As Cody’s general started flushing and stammering out excuses and modest phrases, Cody frowned. 

 

He looked at Master Windu. 

 

Then the floor. 

 

The General Kenobi. 

 

Then the ceiling.

 

Then Master Windu again. 

 

His frown deepened. 

 

“Wait a minute.”

 

The room’s occupants turned to him in curiosity. 

 

“Yes, Commander Cody?” The Korun Master asked. 

 

“You’re the one who made Grievous that asthmatic mess?”

 

”I wouldn’t have put it that way, but yes.”

 

”How?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Cody would later blame his actions on his exhaustion. 

 

“Well, did you, you know, Psshhh?!” He mimed getting sliced in the stomach with a lightsaber and falling over. 

 

“Or did you EH EH EH?” He re-enacted punching the tiles as if it were a worthy foe. 

 

“Or a little of CHAAAA?!!” He tackled Obi-Wan to the floor, and the Stewjon Master fell backwards, hitting his head and knocking out cold. 

 

“Or something like tHIS?!” The Council could only watch in fascination as Cody essentially flailed his limbs anywhere and everywhere (while still being on top of the unconscious Jedi).

 

Mace took awhile to get his voice back.

 

“N-no. Nothing like that! I just applied pressure to his windpipes with the force. Nothing else!”

 

Cody stared at him incredulous for a minute. 

 

“So why’d you stop?”

 

”Pardon?” Force, now he was repeating himself. 

 

“Why don’t you go and finish off Grievous. Hell, you don’t even need a lightsaber do you? Just keep choking him!”

 

”And don’t you dare say anything about oh, it’s not the Jedi way. Jedi way my ass!” He continued when he noticed Mace about to open his mouth again.

 

Cody picked up Obi-Wan’s still legs and started dragging him across the floor and out of the door, never once stopping his mumbling of foolish Jedi not choking out murderous cyborgs.

 

Notes:

Happy may the fourth, if it’s still the fourth in your time zone, if not

happy revenge of the fifth!!

Notes:

obi-Wan, i love you buddy, but what the fuck was that

sooran ni'jagyc: suck my dick

Series this work belongs to: