Archive of Our Own ^beta

The room was quiet save for the soft crackling from the fireplace Lucien stared at, lost in thought. Jurian had fallen asleep on the obnoxiously bright pink couch beside him while Vassa was in her room, fast asleep. Shifting into a firebird was apparently incredibly draining. 

The three rarely had guests, so the high fae wasn’t expecting to sense someone in front of their manor. On the rare occasion that one of the Inner Circle came in to check on the human lands, they would always inform him days before. 

The person was definitely a high fae male, he discovered with a single sniff as he quietly left the second living room. Tamlin perhaps? No, while they were definitely strong, stronger than Lucien, they weren’t as strong as a High Lord. He crept over to the front entrance, flinching when the person suddenly knocked on the large wooden doors of the manor. He quickly unsheathed his jeweled sword and put up wards around his human friends before unlocking the door. He opened it swiftly, placing the sword just in front of the male’s neck faster than any human eyes could see.

“Hello baby brother,” a familiar voice purred. Lucien instantly scowled at the sight of him, sliding his sword back into the scabbard against his hip before slamming the door in his older brother’s face. Eris was quick to stop it, placing a hand on the wooden door before it closed in front of him. “Aw, I missed you too,”

Like many times before, Lucien couldn’t help but think how punchable his ugly face was. Still, he made sure his expression didn’t reveal anything. “What do you want?” he said, attempting to feign an unbothered demeanor. Eris frowned, tilting his head to the side innocently as he examined his youngest brother. 

“Can’t I just want to see my favorite baby brother?” While Eris said it with sarcasm Lucien wasn’t really sure what to believe. When they were younger Eris always paid more attention to Lucien than their other brothers since they always thought of Eris as the enemy, the one standing between them and their chances of becoming High Lord. 

Lucien was never like that, he often spent his time with their mother or in his room or - depending on Beron’s mood - in the dungeon. He hated training and grew to hate his older brothers and father, all except Eris and of course their mother. 

Eris and his mother were the only ones to show Lucien some affection. While Beron made it clear he didn't want anyone to treat Lucien with kindness, that never stop them. He could still remember when he was very young, oblivious to his place in the real world, he would always get upset when they ignored him whenever Beron was near. Especially when they didn’t do anything as they watched Beron punch or kick him. 

He grew to understand why though, learning that since he was the weakest son, he was automatically a burden. No matter how hard he trained and honed his powers, he was always seen as a disappointment. 

But Eris always trained him secretly whenever he asked. He would sneak Lucien some food and water on the days he was thrown into the dungeon. He often read him stories whenever Beron wasn't around, tended to his wounds after every beating from their father, taught him about politics, and smiled at him whenever Lucien showed him a new trick he learned, no matter how easy or childish it was. He never judged or yelled at him, never forced him to be something he wasn’t. 

‘I don’t want to be high lord!” Lucien yelled, pouting as he crossed his arms over his chest and pointedly looking away from his oldest brother. Eris snorted and crouched in front of his brother, who was no more than 10 years old. 

“Then what do you want to be?” he asked softly, watching as Lucien quickly frowned at the question, he clearly hadn’t thought that far. He was quiet for a while, staring at the beautiful orange and red trees, before he turned to Eris, with a bright smile. 

“I want to be like you when I grow up!” he stated confidently, grinning from ear to ear.

At the time he had no idea why Eris flinched, his face contorting into one he'd never seen before, a face of weakness and vulnerability, two things the Vanserras kept hidden from their farther, from everyone. Lucien cherished that moment, never had he seen Eris look so broken, so real. Lucien remembered admiring his brother more than anyone, he had been so naive of the real world, to the real Eris. 

"What do you want?" Lucien repeated, unimpressed. 

Eris was silent for a while, staring at Lucien but his expression seemed more curious than threatening. He seemed to be contemplating whether to run away or say something he clearly didn't want to say. Eventually, he straightened, shifting nervously.

"I wanted to apologise... for everything."