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Another planet. Rose couldn’t get enough of them! Other species, other cultures, the adventure, the excitement! Every day was a great day when you travelled with The Doctor. The duo had split up to go sightseeing on this (mostly) uninhabited planet. They’d meet back at the TARDIS in a few minutes.
A rustle came from some bushes nearby. Rose prepared for the worst. Gathering her courage, she charged at the shrubs, only to find the cutest little thing she’d ever seen. It was blue and ball-shaped with big black eyes. D’aww!
“Hey there, lil guy!” Rose cooed. The creature trembled as Rose approached. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. My name’s Rose. Rooooose,” she enunciated, trying to make sure the little thing understood the word. “Can you talk?”
“You…you aren’t here to harm such a poor little Meep like me, are you? Meep Meep!” asked the Meep. Its voice was soft and cutesy.
“Of course not! What’s your name?”
“My…my name…my name is Beep. Meep Meep!”
“Beep, huh? What’re you doin’ on this planet? It’s supposed to be pretty devoid of sentient life. That’s what he said, anyway…” Rose muttered.
“Beep did not want to be on this scary, lonely planet! Could you take me home?” Beep requested. How could Rose say no to that cute little face? She held out her arms and let the Meep hop into them. She picked him up and smiled.
“You’re heavier than you look! But don’t you worry. Me and my friend’ll take you home in a jiffy.”
She didn’t see it, but the fluffy ball of adorable she held in her arms bore a wicked grin.
The Doctor wandered off in the same general direction he saw Rose go. What was she doing out there? They were supposed to meet up exactly two minutes, thirty seconds, and twenty-five milliseconds ago (and counting)! He tried to tell himself he was being paranoid. Rose was probably fine! Still, he always worried about her. And he couldn’t help himself.
“There you are!”
The Doctor heard Rose’s voice and his mood instantly lightened. She was coming back to him! And what was that she held in her arms? Something big, blue, and round. It…it couldn’t be!
Rose stopped in front of The Doctor. She expected him to be happy to see her, but the expression he wore was grim.
“Rose, where did you find that?” he asked, pointing at Beep.
“He was lost a little ways away! He’s called Beep. The poor little thing just wants to go home!” Rose told him. His face never brightened. What was going on?
“Does he, now?” The Doctor said, not convinced in the slightest. “And what about the gun he’s no doubt got in his pouch?”
“What?!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mister! I’m a good little Meep!” Beep lied. He stealthily moved his little hand to his pouch, preparing to show this stranger just how right he was about the gun.
The Doctor quickly took out his screwdriver and used it, pointing it at Beep. The Meep felt sparks singe the inside of his pocket.
“Not a fan of guns, me. And a good little Meep like you should be just fine without a working laser pistol, now shouldn’t you?”
“What’s the matter with you? Beep hasn’t done anythin’!” Rose scolded.
“Hasn’t done anything YET. But of course, why should you believe me? Other than the fact that I’m a genius who saves your life and the entire universe every other day, I mean,” he pointed out. “Look at him! He’s such a cute little thing, isn’t he?”
The Doctor pat Beep on the head and pinched his cheeks.
“Why he’s the sweetest Meep in the whole world, aren’t you?” The Doctor said, speaking the same way one would speak to a baby or dog. Beep growled. “Just a harmless, kind, friendly Meep!”
That was it for Beep. He jumped out of Rose’s arms as rage seethed throughout his being.
“How DARE you pinch the cheeks of the Most High! I am NOT harmless, I am NOT kind, I am NOT friendly, and I MOST CERTAINLY am not SWEET!” Beep shrieked. He pounced at the pinstripe-wearing man, ready to claw his eyes out and rip him limb from limb.
The Doctor simply caught him in midair, holding Beep far away from his face.
“Believe me now?”
“Yup,” Rose acknowledged. If he weren’t so adorable, Beep would be terrifying.
“You remember how to send a signal to the Shadow Proclamation? I’m sure the Judoon would have a hell of a time taking him in.”
Rose nodded and hurried back to the TARDIS, eager to get away from Beep.
“Foiled again, ey?” The Doctor taunted. “I knew you’d show your true colors with a little provocation.”
“Who ARE you?! How do you know of the Most High Beep of all Meeps?!” the small psychopath demanded. For the first time since he’d seen Beep, The Doctor smirked.
“How long has it been? At least a century. I know my fashion sense’s improved since I saw you last, but don’t tell me you can’t recognize your most worthy adversary!”
Beep then realized exactly who it was he was talking to.
“DOCTOR!”
“There you go!”
Beep’s deranged slashing only increased from there. The Doctor chuckled, walking back to the TARDIS and Rose.
“You NEVER change, do you?”
“RELEASE ME! RELEASE MEEEEE!”