Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Andrew had always said that if Aaron’s name got pulled he would volunteer. He said it so casually, in the same breath that he would insult or ignore Aaron. In the same breath that he would lock Aaron in a bathroom or kill his mother. In that same breath he would vow to protect Aaron.

Aaron always thought that was a load of shit. How Andrew could love him enough to do that when all other behavior points the other way.

When it actually happened- when Andrew went into the games for Aaron, Aaron didn’t know what to think. All he knew is he hoped more than anything that Andrew would live and that things would be different when he came back. If he came back.

Things weren’t different, but at least Aaron knew it wasn’t a load of bullshit when Andrew said he’d do it again.

Aaron never got why Andrew promised such a thing until Andrew’s name was read out.

Aaron hates his brother most of the time, or at least feels like he does. But in that moment nothing would stop him from keeping Andrew out of the games.

so this is what it feels like, Aaron thinks just as the words leave his mouth.

“What?” Andrew snaps, his head whipping around to face Aaron.

Nicky takes a break from crying to look at Aaron with wide eyes before the crying resumes.

It doesn’t matter what happens because either way one of his baby cousins are going into the games. Either way he may never see one of them again.

“I said, I volunteer as tribute.” Aaron says calmly, the full weight of his actions far from setting in.
“Like hell you do.” Andrew spits. “I’ve done it before I can do it again.” Andrew hisses.
“You shouldn’t have to. It’s my turn.” Aaron insists. The only thing he can think is keep Andrew out “Plus, you won’t have Neil this time.” Aaron ads, setting his eyes firmly on Neil.

The Capitol had decided that two winners made for better TV. It encouraged alliances and relationships. The change to the games, something that felt like a blessing to those waiting at home for their loved one, was just a minor change to The Capitol. A minor change stimulating better entertainment. The odds we’re still the same, it was simply an illusion of better luck. Two winners, but double the players that go in the games in the first place. Double the blood and guts too.

Neil had gone in with his dad, that was a whole mess. Aaron remembers thinking he’d be interested in Neil and his fathers story if it weren’t for the fact that all he cared about was Andrew getting home safe.

When Andrew killed Neil’s father a tentative alliance was formed, and before Aaron knew it Andrew was back home with the red head at his side.

“I won’t let you do this.” Andrew insists. his eyes may look empty, but to Aaron they’re full of fear. Full of the same thing they had when Aaron caught Drake… hurting him. The look makes Aaron feel sick.
“It’s not your choice. Let me do this.” Aaron begs.

Before Andrew can say anything Aaron is being led away by two men.

Whatever Andrew is about to say turns into a brutal yell as he pulls out two twin blades and lunges for one of the men.

Nicky screams, as do the armored men, before something sparks and then Andrew hits the ground.

Soon enough Aaron’s in a quiet room being held tightly by a sobbing Nicky.

“Come back to me. Please come back to me.” Nicky keeps repeating as he strokes Aaron’s hair.
“I will. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you.” Aaron swears.
“I love you Aaron You know that right? You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me. You make it back to me.” Nicky says in between sobs.
“I know you do. I know.” Aaron whispers, tears starting to prick the back of his eyes.

Aaron screws his eyes shut tight, he can’t cry in front of Nicky. He needs to stay strong.

Eventually Nicky let’s Aaron go. He keeps a hand on Aaron’s shoulder as Neil approaches.

“He’ll be pissed that he didn’t get to say goodbye.” Neil whispers.

It’s the quietest Aaron’s ever heard him.

“No he won’t.” Aaron shrugs.
“He cares about you.” Neil insists.
“That’s not what I mean. I mean there’s nothing to say. I know what he would say and he knows what I would say.” Aaron explains.

Neil nods silently before pulling something from his waistband.

“He’d want you to have this.” Neil says as he extends a small blade out to Aaron. “It’s his favorite, he says it’s lucky. You’re allowed to bring a weapon this time, I asked if this was allowed and they said yes so… take it.” Neil mostly mumbles. “He said he taught you how to use it?” Neil confirms.
“Yeah.” Aaron whispers we have gently accepts the blade.

Aaron holds the knife like it’s made of glass. He holds it like it’s the most valuable thing in the world. Because to him, at this moment, it is.

“The things you’re about to see and do…” Neil trails off, his gaze drifting to an unconscious Andrew. “I hope you’re as tough as Andrew says you are.”
“Me too.” Aaron whispers.

Chapter Text

The whole trip to The Capitol is a whirlwind. Aaron hardly has any time to think about anything, though he’s somewhat grateful for that. He fears his mind will run away from him if he doesn’t keep moving.

Andrew barely spoke when he got back from the games. He was jumpy, reactive, and almost primitive. The only person he’d let within arms reach was Neil.

Aaron remembers hating Neil for that. Aaron hated Neil for having all of Andrew’s trust when Aaron dreamed of what Andrew’s return would be like. In hindsight that’s ridiculous. In hindsight he thanks Neil for that, for being there.

Either way, he saw the effects of the games on someone, on his own brother, and now he’ll have to experience that himself.

The only thing that keeps Aaron grounded is the knife, Tracing the fox head on the handle whenever his anxiety spikes too high.

“My name is David Wymack, I’ll be coaching you, getting you prepared.” Wymack explains.

Aaron doesn’t say anything.

“Not a talker? Good. I understand you want to work with knives?” Wymack asks.

Aaron nods.

“Good choice. There’s a really good bet you'll be able to get your hands on at least one, there’s a large variety of knife options.”

Aaron nods again.

“We have not a lot of time to get you prepared. So if you don’t have any questions, let’s train.” Wymack declares.

—

Training with Wymack is nothing like with Andrew. Wymack is much more organized and methodical. He breaks fighting down to a science in a way Aaron appreciates. He doesn’t know which is objectively better but he feels more confident going into the games with Wymack’s training under his belt.

One thing that’s the same is that training is exhausting.

Aaron hadn’t had time to think about this situation all day. Everything moved too fast and everyone was too casual. It was rehearsed, like they all got a script Aaron didn’t have.

In a way that’s true. They've done this before, Wymack’s been in the games. This is all just business as usual to them. But for Aaron this is a turning point in his life. He’ll either sink or swim.

He’ll either live or die.

When his head hits the pillow he falls asleep immediately. He doesn’t even have a moment to think of how much softer the bed is than his bed at home. However, he has plenty of time at night to dream of the games and what might happen.

—

“You need to carb load before going into the games, you’ll have more energy and more fat reserves for when you’ll inevitably be starving.” Wymack says, dropping a large plate in front of Aaron.
“David, have some confidence in Aaron. Personally I think he’ll do very well.” Abby says as she sits at the table with her own plate.
“Confidence won’t help him in this situation. You know what will? Honestly and preparation.” Wymack counters.
“Would you stop acting like an old married couple? I’m trying to eat.” Aaron says flatly.
“I liked you more when you didn’t speak.” Wymack says.

Aaron smirks and shrugs.

It’s been only a few days but Aaron’s grown to appreciate Wymack a lot more than he expected.

He never had a father figure growing up and Luther, the closest thing he had, was too worried about appearances to be rude or sarcastic.

Aaron appreciates Wymack’s cold demeanor, it makes him feel at home. Aaron appreciates being able to trade insults back and forth with someone without worrying about any severe consequences.

Abby was more difficult to adjust to. His experience with his mother left him scared of every older woman he encounters. Abby noticed Aaron’s distance from her was entirely intentional and she respected that. She never pushed Aaron into anything other than a ridiculous outfit.

Eventually Aaron started coming around slowly. While he’s not 100% comfortable with her, especially not when they’re alone, he’s begun to notice things he likes about her. She’s nice, not in a fake or boring way, she reminds Aaron of Nicky, but much more mature, and she seemed to truly believe in Aaron.

It’s hard to relax in this situation, and Aaron has yet to relax, but meals with Wymack and Abby are the best parts of his day. He almost feels like a normal kid having dinner with his parents or something.

“Make sure to eat your vegetables.” Abby reminds Asron.
“Yes mom:” Aaron says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes.
“Thank you honey.” Abby says, her voice sounds sincere but the smirk on her lips say otherwise.
“Now who’s being annoying?” Wymack interjects.
“Still you.” Aaron says casually.

—

The general training room is beyond hectic, Aaron doesn’t like practicing with knives in the large, loud, room so mostly he goes over survival knowledge and watches everyone else.

Aaron finds himself particularly interested in Kevin and Riko, two legacies from district one, same as Neil. The two spend practically the whole time fighting each other while their coach barks out directions.

Occasionally Aaron looks up from his plant memory puzzle to see Riko land a solid kick on Kevin, or he’ll see Kevin toss Riko over his shoulder effortlessly.

Riko doesn’t hold back attacking Kevin today. He’s twisting and turning in the air, going for blow after blow with absolutely no mercy.

Kevin on the other hand is much more restrained, playing a defensive game instead of an offensive one.

“Hey!” Tetsuji yells at Riko after a particularly hard blow to the side of Kevin’s face. “Don’t break him before you even get in the arena!”

Riko makes a strained growl-like sound in the back of his throat as he reluctantly follows his Uncle’s command.

Kevin keeps his eyes on the ground most of the time they’re not actively fighting. Whenever Aaron sees Kevin he’s shying away from Riko, doubting himself. He tries to ignore it. He’s not here to make friends or get involved in other people's problems. Still, Aaron finds his eyes drifting back over to Kevin more than he’d like to admit.

The only time Aaron sees Kevin comfortable and confident is when he’s throwing his knives with mechanical precision and accuracy. He can drive knife after knife into the center of the targets and never even break a sweat. It’s almost impossible to look away from.

—

“Remember, you want them to like you, don’t be the asshole we all know you are.” Wymack reminds Aaron as Abby fusses over his hair.

She kind of reminds Aaron of Nicky at this moment.

“I remember.” Aaron sighs.
“He’s got this David. Won’t you?” Abby asks as she brushes nothing from Aaron’s shoulder for the nth time.

Aaron nods after realizing that wasn’t a rhetorical question.

“Well that’s really inspiring confidence in me.” David grumbles.

Aaron steps in line, Riko’s on stage, saying something about him and Kevin, how they’re going to win it all. Aaron should care, but he doesn’t. He’s more distracted by Kevin who’s only a few feet away.

This is the farthest away he’s ever seen Kevin from Riko, but it’s also the closest he’s ever been to Kevin himself .

He knew Kevin was big but Kevin is big. Tall, muscular, with broad shoulders and sturdy legs. His eyes are a beautiful shade of green but the color is washed out by something else in Kevin’s eyes.

Aaron knows that look. He’s made that look.

Kevin’s terrified, and he’s terrified of Riko. And that’s much more interesting than anything Riko has to say.

—

“I like the whole fox theme you have going on.” Kathy says casually after greeting Aaron.

Aaron’s wearing an orange suit, he thinks it would be called a suit but the amount of layers and textures make him hesitant. He has a fox mask that covers the upper part of his face that fades into his hair, which is styled to resemble ears. Aaron’s favorite part is the fox pinned above his heart, the same fox design on Andrew’s knife.

“Thanks, it’s a family thing. It’s nice to have a piece of home.” Aaron says.

He hates disclosing such personal information but he needs them to like him. Abby and Wymack already decided the best way to do that is playing into the love he has for his family.

Although it’s not a complete lie he’s never spoken about his family so affectionately.

“So, Aaron Minyard, who are you?” Kathy asks.
“Aaron Minyard.” Aaron says awkwardly.

Wymack face palms off stage but everyone else laughs a little.

“I should have been more specific. It’s just that everyone, myself included, are all interested in who this little guy who volunteered in place of his brother, who’s won the games before, is. Why’d you do it?” Kathy asks.
“He’s my brother. He’s my family. I protect my family.” Aaron says simply.
“But does he need protection? We all saw him in the games. He was an animal.” Kathy prompts.

Aaron looks at David, who’s mouthing something that looks like ‘don’t be an asshole’.

“That wasn’t Andrew. Sure my brother is abrasive and he’s tough as nails but he was put into that situation. He was fighting for his life. He wasn’t an animal. He was a survivor. Which is just what I intend on doing.” Aaron says, despite the urge to scream at Kathy.
“So you plan on winning?” Kathy asks.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Aaron counters.
“Some people assume they never had a chance. But you, you think you can win?”

Aaron looks down at his suit, the fox pin proudly displayed over his chest, then looks back up, directly into the camera.

“I know I can win.” Aaron says firmly.

Chapter Text

Aaron knows entering the cornucopia increases his odds of dying exponentially, a large portion of deaths happen within the first few minutes. At the same time, he needs supplies, going into the games empty handed is it’s own kind of death wish. So, he and Wymack decided that he’d pick up a bag around the edges before running.

Aaron’s legs itch for him to move, he doesn’t know if he’d run the opposite direction or follow through with the plan if he could move yet. Either way, waiting for the countdown feels like the longest few seconds of his life. Once the countdown starts People clutch their weapons tighter and get ready to head whichever direction they choose.

It’s pure chaos when the clock hits zero.

Blood and screaming and fighting and dying. Aaron almost abandons the plan but the knife in his hand spurs him on. He needs to get back home. He needs to win. And he needs a bag to do it.

Aaron picks up a bag at the same time as another man his age grabs it too. The man looks ready to swing at Aaron just as a severed head rolls his way. He feels like he might be sick but he pushes that feeling down. He takes the moment that the other man is distracted to plunge his knife in the man’s throat before he starts running towards the woods.

Most of the other people running aren’t interested in fighting and neither is Aaron. All he wants is to get somewhere safe as fast as he can. So he keeps running.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been running. The woods all kinda look the same which makes it damn near impossible to have a good idea of distance traveled. He’s about to stop and take in his surroundings when something else stops him. His foot catches on something and he falls face first into a rock.

He scrambles to his feet before looking to see what tripped him desperate the throbbing pain in his head.

It’s a body. A girl, just some kid. Her eyes are still wide open. Aaron knows her skin is still warm too. Aaron feels like he can almost see the terror that was in her eyes in the moments before she died.

Aaron approaches the body slowly, his eyes stuck on the knives in her hand.

He gently removes the knives from her grasp and stores them in his bag before shutting her eyes gently.

“Damn.” Aaron sighs.

Before he can get too stuck in the body he hears some movement coming his way. He feels guilty for leaving her like that but she’s already dead and he’s not, which means still in the game. Which means he has to keep going.

—

Aaron spends the night in a tree, surrounded by cover from the leaves. When the cannons go off he makes sure to look out for the girl. It’s so sick to him that most of the people watching don't care about her life. So he decided he’d care, even if he didn’t know her name. Her life ended in this jail but it didn’t start here, her worth didn’t start here.

—

The next two days are pretty uneventful, sure people die, but Aaron only knows from the canons. About twenty people are left and 18 of them will never leave this hell hole.

Aaron only ventured down from his tree once to gather food, however, he had just ran out of his water and figured he’d rather get cut up than die slowly to dehydration.

So, he slowly makes his way towards the stream. It's an active part of the arena but he can’t hear anyone as he approaches the strangely clear water. He’s silently filling his water bottle, listening for any movement, when he sees a reflection of light out of the corner of his eye.

He spins around quickly drawing his blade.

There sits Kevin day, clutching a knife in his right hand. He’s shaking and is trying to slide away from Aaron but he’s strangely weak.

The whole scene is unusual. Kevin without Riko is unusual. The fact that Kevin’s holding a regular knife when he has throwing knives nearby is unusual. Kevin holding the knife in his right hand when he’s left handed is unusual.

The whole scene is unusual enough for Aaron to hesitate and feel strangely comfortable.

“Don’t move.” Kevin chokes out, trying to be as demanding as possible.

Aaron holds his hands up in surrender.

“Give me the water.” Kevin commands.

Aaron tosses the water his way.

Kevin drops the knife then starts guzzling the water by the mouthful.

“More.” Kevin grunts, tossing the water bottle back towards Aaron.

Aaron complies.

As he fills the bottle he takes a moment to scan his surroundings for Riko or anyone else that may cause trouble.

“He’s not here.” Kevin mumbles.
“I-” Aaron starts.
“You were looking for Riko. Right?” Kevin asks, though it doesn’t feel like a question.

Aaron nods guiltily.

“Well he’s not here.” Kevin spits. “And he won’t be coming back. Except maybe in a few days to see if I’m close to dying once the canon doesn’t go off.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say.

“What are you doing here?” Aaron finally asks.

Reluctantly, Kevin moves his left hand into view.

It’s a mess. It’s bloody, bent all wrong, and Aaron thinks he can see bone.

“Fuck.” Aaron breathes.
“Go on. Kill me. I’m the easiest target you’ll find here.” Kevin says, his voice thick.

Aaron looks at the blade in his hand before looking back up at Kevin. Finally, he looks at Kevin’s hand.

“No.” Aaron whispers. “Let’s go, we can’t stay here.” Aaron says as he collects his things.

Kevin doesn’t move. He just sits, looking at Aaron with stunned eyes.

Aaron holds a hand out for Kevin, hoping this will finally get him up and moving.

Kevin ignores Aaron’s hand but seems to get the idea. Kevin tries, and fails, to get his feet under him a few times. Finally, Aaron settles on grabbing Kevin by the arm and pulling him to his feet.

“We have to find somewhere we can stay. I’m in a tree right now but you can’t climb with your hand.” Aaron says as he refills his bottle.
“There’s a cave. I don’t think Riko will be back, there’s a different place he prefers.” Kevin says, passing Aaron his own water bottle to be filled.
“Okay, I can take care of your hand there.” Aaron agrees.
“You’re a doctor? Right?” Kevin asks.
“Studying to be one. But I can do my best for your hand.” Aaron says. “I’m surprised you remembered. Didn’t think big shot career tributes paid attention to guys like me.”
“I’d be a fool not to know my competition. Plus, you’re interesting and easy to remember. I remember watching Andrew’s game, I never expected to see your face here.” Kevin whispers.

Aaron clenches his jaw tightly. He doesn’t want to talk about this.

“Where is the cave?” Aaron asks coldly.

Kevin falters for a moment, realizing he hit a sore spot.

“It's this way.” Kevin says simply before he starts walking, leading Aaron deep into the underbrush.

Aaron has only one thought, I hope I can trust him.

—

When they get to the cave Aaron immediately starts working on Kevin’s hand. Kevin hardly makes a sound but his face is distorted in pain.

“How bad is it?” Kevin asks.
“It’s not good. It could be worse.” Aaron whispers.
“What’s the worst case scenario?” Kevin asks hesitantly.
“Infection. Death.” Aaron says, equally as hesitant.
“Best case?” Kevin finally asks.
“We get lucky and someone sends us medical supplies.” Aaron says, hoping that’s what actually happens. “Bet you regret all this now.” Aaron says without thinking.
“What?”

Aaron’s eyes snap up to Kevin's. He relaxes when he realizes Kevin is genuinely confused, not angry.

“I mean, you planned to come here. This was your choice, now you have a shattered hand.” Aaron explains
“You chose this too. You volunteered.” Kevin points out.
“That wasn’t planned. You trained for years, working towards this- wanting this. Does it live up to the idea?” Aaron asks.
“How about this, I tell you something about me and you tell me something about you? That way I don't have to think about my hand.” Kevin suggests.
“Okay.” Aaron agrees after considering the idea.“Do you regret coming here?”
“I never wanted this.” Kevin admits. “I had no choice. My mother died, I ended up with Riko. So… no. Because how can you regret a choice you didn't make?”
“So you’re telling me careers don’t want this?”
“I’m telling you I didn’t want this. Riko- he’s living for this. He kept talking about how this is the best time of his life. How this is raw and pure. So… I guess careers do enjoy it.” Kevin says quietly. “What about you? Do you regret volunteering?”

Aaron lets the question roll around in his head for a moment before finally speaking.

“No. Not really. I wish I weren’t here but I’m glad Andrew isn’t. He’s my brother, it felt like the obvious thing to do.” Aaron says as casually as he can. He doesn’t want Kevin to know he’s scared shitless.
“Plenty of people who have brothers wouldn’t have done what you did. That makes it mean something.” Kevin argues.
“Yeah, it means they're a hell of a lot smarter than I am.” Aaron says sarcastically.
“It means you’re a hell of a lot braver than they are.” Kevin counters.
“What happened to your hand?” Aaron asks quickly, not liking the sincere look in Kevin’s eyes.

Kevin stiffness. He would have pulled his hand from Aaron’s grasp if he had the strength.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Kevin whispers.
“Okay.” Aaron concedes. “Are you done or can I ask you something else?”
“Keep going.”
“What do you do for fun?” Aaron asks after realizing he can’t think of anything to ask Kevin.
“I like history. I can’t predict the future but I can study the past.” Says after giving it some thought. “What’s it like having a brother?” Kevin asks quickly enough to make it clear he had already planned out his question.
“Hm…” Aaron hummus.
“Hm, what?” Kevin prompts.
“I don’t really know.” Aaron admits.
“How do you not know what it's like to have a brother? You have a brother.” Kevin points out.
“Yeah but I haven’t always.”
“You’re twins.”
“We didn't know each other for a while. Being brothers is a relatively new development we're still figuring out. But I can’t tell you that sometimes I hate him more than anything. And sometimes I’d die for him.” Aaron says truthfully. “What’s it like to have a mom?” Aaron asks hesitantly. “I know I had one but… I wonder what it was like for others.”

He worries the question might cause a similar reaction to asking about his hand. But instead of pulling away Kevin smiles a sad kind of smile.

“I loved her. Sure sometimes we fought, sometimes i said dumb shit. Sometimes she said dumb shit. But I loved her. And she loved me. She was my mom and I was her son. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for me and I knew that- I felt that. She made me feel strong and okay with being weak all at once.” Kevin says, the bittersweet smile turning more sad than happy near the end.

Kevin speaks almost like he forgot Aaron was there. He speaks like he’s speaking to himself. Aaron kinda loves it. Not that he'll ever admit that.

“Wymack was your coach right?” Kevin asks once he realizes Aaron is still looking at him.
“Yeah.” Aaron says, not sure he knows where this is going.
“He won the games with my mom, not long before she got pregnant and had me. I wonder what he’s like. Can you tell me what he’s like?” Kevin asks, his voice strangely hesitant.
“He’s a hardass. A dick, he’s sarcastic as hell and he’s smart in a way that’s infuriating. But he’s a great guy. I don’t know if I would have made it this far without him. It's like he was made to care. Because he can care about you and have you know he cares about you without being all gentle. Because that’s part of who he is. He can care without compromising any part of him because it is a part of him.

Kevin smiles, similar to the smile he made talking about his mom.

“He sounds really nice.” Kevin says quietly.
“He’s not nice but I get what you mean.” Aaron says. “You should get some rest, I'll keep an eye out for any problems.” Aaron assures Kevin.

Kevin just nods silently.

Kevin tries his best to get in a semi comfortable position, which is wildly hard with a broken hand on the rock floor of a cave.

“Thank you.” Kevin whispers.

It’s so quiet Aaron thinks he might have imagined it, but Kevin keeps talking.

“You could have killed me. But you didn’t. You helped me. So thank you.”

Chapter Text

When Aaron wakes up it’s to a wildly pleasant surprise.

“Someone sent us medical supplies.” Is the first thing Kevin says. “They also sent us food. Like… a lot of food.”

Aaron wipes the sleep from his eyes, letting them adjust to the low light of the cave, before they settle on a basket.

It’s filled to the brim with nicer food than Aaron’s ever seen in person.

“This is good. Now we won’t have to leave here for a few days, especially because they sent us water too.” Aaron says calmly as he inspects the supplies for Kevin’s hand.
“This is better than good Aaron. They like us.” Kevin says.

Kevin isn’t glowing, in fact he doesn’t look very happy at all, but it’s clear that he’s excited. Maybe it’s his choice of words, maybe Aaron’s just used to reading hidden emotions, but Kevin’s happy and something about that rubs off on Aaron.

“I’m happy.” Aaron says before he can think. “It is better than good.”

It’s true, he is happy, but saying it out loud like that isn’t in his normal behavior.

“You know this is what I thought it would be like. What I wanted it to be like.” Kevin admits quietly. “Not the busted hand. But… having a partner who actually cares about me- or at least helps me. The feeling of triumph from this food… I wanted that to be the whole experience.”
“I could have told you that’s bullshit. Nothing good comes from this cursed game.” Aaron spits, remembering Andrew when he came home.
“Isn’t Andrew practically married to Neil?” Kevin asks. “That sounds like a pretty good thing.”
“That stuff doesn’t really happen. I mean the odds are…” Aaron takes a moment to collect his words.

He struggles with communicating. Sometimes he feels like he has a bag full of broken pieces and he’s just trying to put them together in a way other people can understand. But there’s too many pieces and he can’t see them all

“I came here because I didn’t want my brother to set another foot in here. I want to win so I can see my family again. I’m not expecting to get anything out of this- I know I won’t. But that’s okay as long as my family doesn’t have to lose any more. We gave up too much to lose even more.” Aaron explains.

Kevin doesn’t say anything. He looks at Aaron like he’s seeing him for the first time, or like he’s trying to recognize Aaron. Aaron doesn’t like how he feels about Kevin’s eyes on him like that.

“Have you ever killed someone before?” Kevin finally asks.

Aaron’s head snaps up and he gets an urge to scream at Kevin.

“We’re partners. I need to know if that’s something you can do.” Kevin explains.

Aaron’s eyes go vacant as he’s pulled back by a rope wrapped around his memories. Suddenly he’s right back in that moment.

The blood is on his hands again, on his face, in his mouth. He empties his stomach and coughs around the smothering truth of what just happened. He burned the clothes he was in but the memory is still burned into his mind, stains on the fabric of his existence. He started rubbing his hands raw, washing them, picking at them, one time he even took sandpaper to his skin. He'd rather expose his bone than be wrapped in the skin of a killer.

He doesn’t regret it. He doesn’t regret killing him. The only two regrets he has is that the death was too quick, and that he became something different that day. That day he became a killer. No matter how he looks at it, even though the man he killed was scum, nothing could change the fact that he’s a killer.

“Don’t worry about that.” Aaron whispers once he comes back to his present reality.

Aaron clears his throat before speaking again.

“Let me see the hand.”

—

“You need to learn how to throw right handed.” Aaron says, dropping a handful of throwing knives in front of Kevin.
“I'm left handed.” Kevin says flatly.
“Obviously. But in case you haven’t noticed your left hand is out of commission. You need to at least be decent right handed.” Aaron explains.
“It’s hard enough whipping my ass right handed. How do I relearn how to do this?” Kevin asks.
“I don’t know. But it’s necessary that we figure it out.”

Kevin’s hesitant. Aaron doesn’t entirely get why. Maybe he’s worried it will be too hard. Maybe he doesn’t want to face the truth. Either way, it takes some convincing to get him up on his feet.

“Remember, it’s the same process, just flipped.” Aaron reminds Kevin after he misses the makeshift target a few more times.
“It doesn’t matter. I know how to throw knives, I just can’t. I don’t have the accuracy I need to do it with my right hand.” Kevin groans.
“Well you’re gonna need to. I can only do so much in terms of protecting us.” Aaron points out.
“I don’t need to throw knives to protect us.” Kevin counters.
“It will certainly help.” Aaron snaps.
“Spending all this time on something I can’t do certainly won’t help.” Kevin hisses.
“We have nothing better to do and I'm not gonna die because you’re lazy. I have a family I’m planning on getting back to.” Aaron says harshly.

Kevin opens his mouth to say something but Aaron shakes his head and steps out of the cave, taking in deep gulps of cool air.

A few minutes later Aaton feels Kevin hesitantly step up beside him.

“What do you want?” Aaron spits.
“To apologize.” Kevin says after taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry Aaron. I’m sorry you’re in this position. You didn’t ask for this, to have to volunteer. It’s a really shitty situation you’re in and I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I was a dick. You didn’t want to be in this situation either.” Aaron says, waving his hand dismissively.
“I wish I could throw with my right hand. I just don’t know how.” Kevin confesses.
“It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.” Aaron assures Kevin.

—

“You haven’t asked what happened to my hand since… well, since you asked.” Kevin says abruptly.

They’re sitting in the cave, Aaron organizing and memorizing the supplies they have just to keep himself busy. Kevin’s drifting in and out of consciousness, a side effect of the pain med he’s on. Kevin’s company is surprisingly comforting. The silence isn’t awkward and the conversations are enjoyable and flow nicely.

Aaron enjoys getting to know Kevin. Somewhere in the back of his mind he hopes Kevin enjoys getting to know him too.

“Should I have?” Aaron asks, it’s not accusatory, it’s a genuine question. “You already said you didn’t wanna talk about it.”
“I just thought you might…” Kevin trails off.
“Be curious?” Aaron guesses.
“Yeah.” Kevin whispers.
“I am. But I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to.” Aaron says simply.

Kevin nods silently.

“You know this stuff is wildly flammable.” Aaron says, holding up a jar given to them along with the other supplies for Kevin’s hand.
“Is it?” Kevin asks.
“Mhm, like a little bomb.” Aaron says casually.
“How do you know?”
“I just like knowing stuff.” Aaron says, shrugging.
“Know it all.” Kevin grumbles.
“You’re just mad you don’t know as much as me.” Aaron teases.

The sound of frogs echo through the cave. Aaron wonders if there’s actual frogs in here or if it’s just the sound.

“Once when I was little I spent hours trying to coax a frog into my hand. I was determined for it to be her choice, I didn’t wanna grab her. I was so tired but when she settled in my hand I was thrilled.” Aaron says, chuckling in amusement at the memory.
“Aaron Minyard, the frog whisperer.” Kevin jokes. “Should I call you doctor or something?”
“If you want.” Aaron says in a teasing tone.
“What happened next?” Kevin asks, propping his chin up on his knee.
“Well… I went to show people. But… it didn’t really go well so I tend to leave that part out.” Aaron confesses. “My mom was pissed. She didn’t know where I was for all that time.” Aaron says vaguely.
“Wouldn’t you be too? If your kid disappeared for hours?” Kevin asks hesitantly.

Aaron can tell by Kevin’s voice that he knows what Aaron means. He can tell by his voice he’s hoping he’s wrong.

Kevin can tell by Aaron’s silence that he’s not wrong.

Chapter Text

Aaron wakes to his arm being shook and his legs being wet. For a second he thinks it might be a dream or a nightmare but something about it feels real.

“We gotta go.” Kevin says urgently.
“What?” Aaron mumbles, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.
“The cave, it’s flooding.” Kevin explains.
“Shit.” Aaron swears, pulling himself to his feet immediately.

Sure enough he’s ankle deep in water.

“Shit.” Aaron swears again.

Kevin’s already collected all he can with his broken hand but one of the bags is still sitting in the water. Aaron scoops the bag up before he heads for the opening.

The water is filling the cave fast, impossibly so, it’s waist deep at this point for Aaron. Kevin can move with less issues given his height but Aaron’s progress is getting progressively slower as the water gets progressively deeper.

“Aaron!” Kevin yells, holding his good hand out.

Aaron reaches out but his fingertips are just shy of Kevin’s hand.

At this point the water is approaching his chest and is continuing to rise quickly.

“Just go.” Aaron says, accepting defeat.

Maybe he’ll die but Kevin doesn’t have to go with him.

“No.” Kevin says, his face twisted in confusion and anger. “I’m not just gonna leave you.”
“God- Kevin just go!” Aaron yells. “Please- there’s no point in both of us dying. This isn’t me being a martyr, this is me thinking practically.”

Kevin hesitates for less than a second before continuing his progress towards the opening of the cave.

The last thing Aaron sees is Kevin climbing out of the cave to safety before hess pulled under water and it all goes black.

For a moment he thinks of Nicky. He wonders if he’s watching, he wonders if Andrew would let him watch. He thinks about Andrew. He wonders what his face looks like now. If it’s flat and unmoving or if he’d let emotion bleed onto his features.

He thinks about his family and how he’ll never see them again.

—

Aaron’s lungs burn when he expels the water from them.

“That’s it. Get it out.” Kevin says, pushing Aaron’s hair back out of his face.

Aaron coughs for a few more minutes, trying to get the burning in his lungs to stop.

“What happened?” Aaron asks once he finds his voice.
“I guess the game designers didn’t like us staying in the cave.” Kevin says, pushing his own soaked hair out of his face.
“Yeah, I get that. I mean how’d I get out?” Aaron mumbles, letting his head fall back on the ground.
“I couldn’t just leave you.” Kevin says, pulling out the fire starting kit.
“Is it smart to start a fire? People might come for us.” Aaron points out.
“You’re practically blue. I need to warm you up.”
“Wait- you went back for me?” Aaron asks.

The only person he knows who would do that is Andrew. Probably Nicky if his adrenaline response wasn't freeze.

“Yeah. We’re in this together Aaron. I wasn’t just gonna leave you. Plus, I’d never win without you.” Kevin mumbles. “Get some rest. Warm up, eat. You need it.”

Aaron wants to say something. He wants to say thank you or insult Kevin’s stupidity. He wants to do something. Instead he just falls asleep.

—

When Aaron wakes up the sky is dark and the canons are going off.

“Any trouble?” Aaron asks, turning to look at Kevin who’s laying a few feet away.
“Had to take this one guy out. It was kinda hard one handed but I managed.” Kevin says casually.
“Sorry you had to do it yourself.” Aaron mumbles.
“Don’t be. It’s all good.” Kevin says dismissively. “Had to use your knife to do it though.” Kevin says, jerking his head towards Andrews blade.

Aaron takes the blade in his hands, flipping it around in his fingers.

“What is it?” Kevin asks when Aaron’s gaze hangs on the blade for a second too long.
“It’s my brothers.” Aaron whispers.

Kevin nods silently.

“Everyone knows him as someone he’s not. To me he’s just… he’s my asshole brother. But everyone has these ideas and standards they put in him. Sometimes it feels like my brother is a secret that I'm keeping for no reason.” Aaron says quietly. “That doesn’t make sense does it?”
“It does.” Kevin says quickly.
“Yeah?” Aaron asks.
“Yeah.” Kevin confirms.

“The sky is beautiful. Even though the stars are fake.” Aaron whispers after a pause.
“Mhm.” Kevin agrees.
“What’ll you do if you win?” Aaron asks quietly.
“I don’t know. That wasn’t a part of the plan. It’s always been about winning, not winning and then doing something.” Kevin explains. “What about you?” Kevin asks.
“Go home.” Aaron says simply. “I just want to go home.” Aaron sighs.
“If we win I might have to tag along. I don’t have anything else to do anywhere else.”
“If we win, you can come with.”
“Thanks.” Kevin whispers.

—

“It’s so quiet.” Aaron whispers the next afternoon. Kevin is laying back, his eyes closed against the warm sun. Aaron’s listening to the fake sounds of the forest, leaning against a tree keeping a sleepy gaze on an equally sleepy Kevin.
“Mhm.” Kevin hums in response. “It’s almost quiet enough to make me forget. It’s almost quiet enough to make me feel like I'm just enjoying a nude afternoon with my friend.”
“You are. That’s not all you’re doing, but you are enjoying a nice afternoon with your friend.” Aaron says quietly. He hoped Kevin thinks they’re close enough to friends.
“We’re friends?” Kevin asks, cracking an eye open.
“Close enough. We’re all we got ya know. In this together, to quote you.” Aaron says, faking a casual tone.
“We’re friends.” Kevin whispers.

It sounds more like his saying it to himself, testing the words out.

“Yup.” Aaron agrees, also speaking to himself.

—

“I was thinking, we should move to higher ground. There’s only about eight of us left so I feel safer walking around.” Aaron says when the sun starts rising.
“Are you sure you’re up for it?” Kevin asks.
“Mhm. I feel good as new.” Aaron says dismissively.
“Then lead the way.”

They don’t have too much to carry. They each have a bag. Kevin’s has the last of the food, which is only some bread and sausage, and Aaron has the medical supplies and whatever weapons they’re not carrying.

As they walk Aaron collects nuts that are safe to eat, showing Kevin what they look like so he can keep an eye out.

“Do you think we can win?” Aaron asks.
“Maybe… maybe not. I think you can. By now Riko knows I’m not dead or dying. He'll make it his mission to kill me. But I think you can make it.” Kevin says casually like he’s not talking about dying.
“I’ll make it my personal mission to kill him. After all, you’re my partner. My friend.” Aaron says, nudging Kevin with his elbow.

Kevin’s about to say something when he hears a very familiar swish noise followed by a thunk. He immediately knows it’s a knife, even before he sees the blade stuck in a tree.

Kevin pulls a knife of his own from his belt, looking for the culprit. A few feet away he sees a girl taking aim through the trees with another knife. He throws the knife which lands a few feet away, splitting the bark of a tree.

She takes the time it takes Kevin to get his hands on another knife to throw a second blade.

Kevin doges the blade then lunges at her, taking her out with one swift cut to the neck. Kevin looks down at her body, letting out a sigh of relief that she didn’t hit him.

Kevin’s about to search the girl for supplies when he hears a groan from his partner.

“Aaron?” Kevin whispers urgently.
“I’m okay.” Aaron says, holding his hand to the wound on his hip. “It just grazed me.”
“Let me see it.” Kevin says, trying to pull Aaron’s hand from the cut.
“We need to keep walking. We can worry about superficial wounds once we’re somewhere safe.” Aaron insists, slapping Kevin’s hand away gently.

Kevin looks at the body of the girl, then back to Aaron who looks unbothered by the wound before nodding reluctantly.

“Fine. Let’s go.” Kevin agrees.

—

At first Aaron has no problem walking. The wound is shallow and the blood has stopped flowing but Aaron’s condition starts to worsen as they climb the rocky hill.

Moving to the hill was a good idea, plenty of cover, a good view of the arena, and it’s close enough to water. I’m fact, it would be a perfect idea if Aaron could walk.

“We should stop here. You need a break and I need to look at your wound.” Kevin says for the nth time.
“No. We’re exposed here. We need to keep moving and get somewhere safe.” Aaron grunts.

It’s the same response he’s had every time Kevin says they should stop to rest.

“You can barely walk.” Kevin counters.
“Barely means I still can.” Aaron says, clutching his side.
“Aaron. Please.” Kevin begs.
“We need to get to the top of the hill. Okay Kevin? We need to. If we don’t, we die.” Aaron says urgently. He sounds and looks utterly defeated with his head tipped down to avoid Kevin’s gaze and his body shaking in pain.

Kevin pauses to think, pressing his lips together, before readjusting his bag and reaching for Aaron’s.

“What are you doing?” Aaron asks, flinching away.
“You don’t want to stop and I want you to rest. So, I can carry you. You’re small, it should be easy.” Kevin explains.
“I’m not letting you carry me.” Aaron says quickly. “I don’t need to be carried around by you to make it.” Aaron says, getting more upset at the idea then Kevin expected. “I’m not helpless.”
“I know you aren’t but I just- can you let me help you? ” Kevin snaps angrily. “I just want to help you.” Kevin adds, his voice softer this time.

Aaron looks down at the wound then back up to Kevin’s pleading eyes.

“Fine.” Aaron says bitterly.

It’s hard for Kevin to maneuver the bag on his back and Aaron into his arms with his left hand still out of commission, but soon enough they’re continuing their slow ascent up the hill.

Aaron keeps his eyes close, clenching his jaw tight enough for mounds of muscle to become visible.

He looks like he might cry but no tears ever fall. Kevin’s thankful for that, if Aaron started crying he doesn’t think he’d be able to keep it together himself.

—

Once they get to a safe spot on the hill Kevin immediately sets Aaron down and pulls the hem of his shirt up to reveal the wound.

An ugly dark green color is spreading out from the irritated cut which is now oozing puss and an awful smell.

“I think it’s infected.” Kevin says, covering his mouth and nose with his hand.
“No shit.” Aaron groans, looking down at the wound.
“Do you know what to do?” Kevin asks, looking around nervously.

Aaron nods silently as he pulls his knife out.

“Yeah. You need to go get a flower, we passed by it a few minutes ago. The pink and green one. Go get that.” Aaron says as he struggles to grab the fire starting kit.

Kevin takes off without another word, only sparing Aarom a quick glance before retreating back down the hill.

When he returns Aaron has a blade on the fire. Next to him is a bowl, bandages, and the antiseptic they got for Kevin’s hand.

“Now what?” Kevin asks.
“Put them in the bowl and let them burn for about a minute, then add water and mix until it becomes a paste.” Aaron says, holding out a bowl.

Kevin follows the instructions as Aaron repeats them.

“Now put it on the wound.” Aaron says, his eyes starting to drift shut.
“Aaron, can you please keep your eyes open. Please keep looking at me.” Kevin begs as he starts spreading the paste.

Aaron’s eyes open slightly to give the last instructions.

“Now take the knife and burn it. Make sure you get the whole thing.” Aaron whispers, his voice rough.
“I can’t do that.” Kevin says quickly, shaking his head violently as he remembers the feeling of a hot blade against his own skin.
“You need to, Kevin. If you do this, you will save my life.” Aaron explains.

Kevin looks at the blade, then to Aaron’s skin as he grabs the handle in a shaky hand.

The last thing Aaron is aware of before losing consciousness is a white hot searing pain and Kevin’s endless apologies.

—

Kevin’s sitting a few feet away when Aaron wakes up. He looks like he’s afraid to touch Aaron. Like any touch will burn him the way the blade did.

Aaron looks down at his torso to see it neatly wrapped, exactly how he showed Kevin a few days ago.

“I dressed it like you told me to. Sorry if I fucked it up.” Kevin mumbles. There’s something strangely angry about his voice.
“You didn’t.” Aaron says, his voice horse.
“You feel better?” Kevin asks reluctantly.
“I do. Thank you.”

Kevin doesn’t take his eyes off the sky as he talks.

“I’m sorry.” Aaron whispers.

Kevin sniffs before rubbing his eyes.

“I know I was saving your life- I know that. But… I promised myself I would never do anything like that to anyone.” Kevin says eventually. “I promised myself I wouldn’t be like him.”
“You’re not. You saved my life. That’s the opposite of what he did. You should be proud Kevin. I’m thankful for what you did.” Aaron says sincerely.
“I missed.” Kevin reminds Aaron. “Before, I could have hit that in my sleep.”
“You were hurt. That’s not your fault.”
“Whatever, just please say something else… distract me.” Kevin requests.
“Give me your hand and I’ll talk while I take care of it.” Aaron bargains.

Kevin scotches over and extends his left hand into Aaron’s reach.

“I’m sorry I was so pissy about you carrying me. I just- I don’t want to be weak. I needed you to get me out of the cave and to protect me at night and I… I just have this issue with feeling worthless. Like needing people makes me worthless. Like it makes me everything my mother told me I am.” Aaron explains.
“Aaron, you’re the farthest thing from worthless or weak i’ve ever seen.” Kevin starts. “You volunteered for this with very little training but you kept going and pushing, getting better, stronger, smarter. You saved my life- you saved your brother's life. You had the idea to come here. I help you out because you deserve it. Not because you need it.”

Aaron looks at his hands as they cradle Kevin’s, letting Kevin’s words roll around in his head.

Stupidly, all he can come up with is, “Thanks.”

Chapter Text

“Let me see your hand.” Aaron requests. Kevin can’t count the amount of times he’s heard those words. “It’s looking better.” Aaron says as he gently unwraps the bandages.
“It doesn’t feel much better. The pain medicine is the only thing that’s keeping me from losing my mind.” Kevin says, chuckling sadly. “Speaking of, there’s pain medicine if you want it.” Kevin says, watching Aaron wince in pain with every movement.
“It's for you.” Aaron says dismissively.
“There’s plenty.” Kevin says, shrugging.
“It’s yours.” Aaron insists.
“I’m telling you it’s fine.” Kevin says sincerely.
“I can’t.” Aaron snaps harshly. “I’m sorry but I can’t. I appreciate you asking but… I’m an addict. I was hooked on pills for a long time. The last thing I need is to overdose out here or some shit.” Aaron explains, making sure he looks anywhere but Kevin’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Kevin whispers after a moment of consideration. “I didn’t know.”
“I know. Don’t apologize for not knowing something you had no way of knowing.” Aaron says, forcing a smile onto his face.

Kevin just nods silently, watching Aaron meticulously unwrap up his hand.

“I think it’s really cool how you got clean and stuff.” Kevin finally says. “How you’re staying clean, even in here. If I were in your position I’d probably be looking for a fix. Only thing keeping me sober is the lack of access to alcohol.”
“You’d be fine.” Aaron says casually. “I mean it.” Aaron adds, because he does mean it.
“Thanks.” Kevin whispers, his voice barely there.
“It should heal alright. Your hand.” Aaron says, hoping it makes Kevin feel better.
“I can’t believe I trusted him.” Kevin says angrily.
“Riko?” Aaron guesses.
“Yeah.” Kevin whispers.
“He did this?” Aaron guesses again.
“Yeah.” Kevin whispers again.
“I could kill him.” Aaron seethes.

Kevin makes a dismissive grunting noise.

Aaron works methodically and efficiently. Kevin finds himself staring at Aaron to distract himself from the pain, cataloging every detail he can. If it weren’t for Aaton Kevin would have not only died, but lost his mind thinking about Riko and what he did.

“You have freckles.” Kevin whispers.
“Yup.” Aaron hums.
“Your hands are small.”

Aaron pulls his hands back, crosses his arms, and rolls his eyes.

Kevin tried to stifle a laugh which just makes Aaron turn red.

“God, I didn’t know someone could get that red.” Kevin says in disbelief, laughing as he speaks.
“God, I didn’t know someone could be such a dick.” Aaron says, punching Kevin’s shoulder lightly as he laughs.
“Yes!” Kevin says, pumping a fist in triumph. “I knew I could get you to smile.” Kevin says.
“So you insult me?” Aaron asks.

Kevin shrugs, still smirking.

“You should be nicer to me. I might kill you in your sleep.” Aaron teases.
“You wouldn’t dare. You love me too much.” Kevin says, his tone just as teasing.
“You wish.” Aaron fires back. “Let’s eat. We don’t have much of the nice food left but it will get us through the night.” Aaron says, pulling out food.
“Your definition of nice food is bread and sausage?” Kevin asks in disbelief.
“Nicer than rats and squirrels.” Aaron counters.
“Whatever. As long as you don’t steal my sausage.” Kevin grumbles.

Aaron looks at Kevin with wide eyes before letting out a loud laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” Kevin asks, looking more alarmed than confused.
“Your sausage?” Aaron says, still snickering.
“Yeah.” Kevin says, speaking like it’s obvious.
“Sausage.” Aaron repeats, gesturing to the front of his pants.
“Oh- fuck you.” Kevin says, punching Aaron’s arm as he laughs.
“I can tell you want to.” Aaron teases.
“You’re gross.” Kevin says, scrunching his nose.
“I get it from my older cousin.” Aaron says, shrugging casually.
“You don’t talk about him much.” Kevin points out.

Aaron goes quiet, shrugging silently

“I’m sorry.” Kevin whispers.
“No, it's fine. There’s just not really much to say. Nicky’s my older cousin. He took me and Andrew in after my mother died. He’s annoying and loud and talks way too much about his sex life… but he saved my life. I was a mess. High half the time, dunk the other half. I was depressed as hell, suicidal. Then Nicky came into my life and it was like the sun started shining.” Aaron says casually.
“When my mom died I felt like the world ended.” Kevin admits. “I didn’t see the point in living. Then I made friends with a guy named Jean. We were really close. Close enough for me to relearn how to love someone.”
“What happened?” Aaron asks.
“He died.” Kevin whispers.
“Shit.” Aaron breathes, turning to look at Kevin. “I’m sorry.”
“It was a while ago. Anyway I haven’t really been able to relax or smile since then. Not until now.” Kevin confesses. “Which is weird because my hand is busted, I’ve known you for what realistically isn’t that long of a time, and we’re literally fighting for our lives.”
“I get that. My cousin is great and everything but, I don’t really have friends or anything. I had a girlfriend but we broke up when Andrew came back from the games. It’s weird but I get feeling strangely at ease here..” Aaron explains. “What about you? You got anyone waiting at home?”
“Nobody important.” Kevin whispers, turning so his face is only centimeters away from Aaron’s.
“I wish we met outside of the games. Maybe then things would be different.” Aaron says sadly.
“Why would they have to be different? We met. Isn’t that half the battle? I mean- look at Andrew, Neil. Just because we’re here doesn’t mean we lose the right to live. We deserve to have things we want.” Kevin says softly, using his right hand to push Aaron’s hair back.
“We’ve known each other for what realistically isn’t that long of a time. Remember?” Aaron reminds Kevin, despite leaning closer.
“I know. But you're nice and you have a cute smile.” Kevin says softly, distracted by Aaron’s eyelashes.
“Nobody’s ever described me as nice.” Aaron says, counting Kevin’s moles.
“Then you’re surrounded by idiots.”
“That’s true.” Aaron agrees.
“Kiss me, Aaron. You know you can kiss me?” Kevin says, it almost sounds like he’s begging.
“We’re being recorded.” Aaron reminds Kevin.
“I don’t care if you don’t.” Kevin says. “Plus, I’m sure someone’s dying a wildly interesting death right now that they’re more invested in.” Kevin says, drawing a laugh from Aaron’s lips right before they’re on Kevin’s.

The first kiss is quick, merely a gentle meeting of the lips. The second kiss is longer, Kevin takes his good hand and runs it through Aaron’s hair, wrapping the dirty gold locks around his fingers as he pulls Aaron closer. Aaron holds Kevin’s head between both his hands, trailing his thumb over Kevin’s dirt stained cheeks.

“Come here.” Kevin whispers, guiding Aaron down so they’re laying on their sides facing each other.

They keep kissing until the sun goes down and the only sounds left are the frogs and crickets, singing into the otherwise silent night.

—

Aaron volunteered to look out while Kevin slept for a few reasons. First off Kevin had kept an eye out for him before, Kevin deserved to sleep, and Aaron doesn’t think he could sleep if he tried.

His head is running a mile a minute and none of his thoughts make any sense. They range from ‘what if I fall in love with Kevin?’ to ‘what if this is a trap or he’s messing with me?’.

Each thought is as disjointed and infuriating as the last.

The only thing Aaron knows for sure is that he really likes Kevin and that they have to get out of this alive.

Aaron’s pulled from his thoughts when he heard a rustling in the trees. He quickly pulls out two throwing knives, surveying the area carefully.

He hears the sound of her movement before he sees her. Once he hears her footsteps as she lunges at Aaron he turns around to face the noise and throws a knife.

He hits her in one of her long legs.

She pauses to grunt and remove the knife before tackling Aaron.

They roll a few times before she lands on top of Aaron with her hands on his neck.

Aaron tries to pull her hands away but gives up once he realizes it won’t work. So instead he grabs a nearby rock and hits her over the head with it.

She falls to the side so Aaron climbs on top of her, still wielding the rock. He hits her two more times until her skull makes the same sickening sound Drake’s made all those years ago.

Aaron tosses a look Kevin’s way, making sure his partner is okay before doing anything else.

Kevin sits unscathed a few feet away, holding a knife in his right hand.

“Don’t worry. It’s all good.” Aaron says, trying to keep his dinner down.

Kevin looks like he’s about to smile until his gaze shifts from Aaron’s face to above Aaron’s head and his expression contorts into horror.

“Aaron!” Kevin warns.

Aaron spins around just in time to see Riko standing over him.

Riko tosses a knife into Kevin’s leg before hitting Aaron over the head, making everything go black.

Chapter Text

Aaron wakes to a throbbing headache, what feels like a broken bone or two, and an awful smell.

“Finally, I was starting to think you’d never wake up.” Riko says casually as he takes a bite of some sort of meat.
“That would be your fault for hitting me too hard.” Aaron snaps.
“Don’t be rude. I’m trying to help.” Riko says, his voice sounding like one a parent would use to scold their child.
“That’s what you call kidnapping me?” Aaron asks angrily.
“I was planning on winning the games with Kevin. Then that… Well, let’s just say I’m not on good terms with our mutual friend. Then I was planning on winning with Thea but you killed her, nice job by the way. I didn’t think you’d have the balls to kill her like that. So now I’m stuck with you. So, I’m using you as bait to get our dear Kevin out here where I can kill him nice and slow with you as my audience and we win.” Riko explains, “You’re welcome.”
“I don’t want to win with you.” Aaron says.
“I don’t care.” Riko says simply. “You know I always knew Kevin was a sad desperate man, I just didn’t think he’d be desperate enough to kiss you.” Riko says casually.

Aaron feels his blood boil with anger and a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The idea of Riko seeing that, experiencing that moment with them makes Aaron feel sick.

Kevin and Aaron kissed for what felt like days.

Aaron’s lips were so sore after they felt almost numb. He could taste Kevin on his lips for hours after they broke apart.

“Anyway, judging from that heartwarming display I can’t imagine Kevin not coming to get you.” Riko says casually.

Aaron hopes more than anything that Riko’s wrong.

—

Aaron wishes he could at least have a moment to stand and stretch but given his current position, tied to a tree, the most he can do is stretch his neck and some of his back.

Every few minutes he turns his head as far as he can, pushing until he gets the satisfying pop.

This time, however, something catches his eye.

A reflection of light in an axe Riko has resting in the tree by Aaron’s head.

Aaron whips his head around, looking for any sign that the light is something other than Riko’s fire reflecting particularly brightly.

After a few seconds of scanning the trees Aaron locks eyes with Kevin. He brings a single finger over his mouth, shushing Aaron, before holding up a throwing knife

Aaron looks up at his hands which are tied over his head. It’s a small target, the rope in between Aaron’s wrist no more than an inch long. With his left hand Kevin could have hit it easily, right handed, especially with the physiological pressure, the odds are much less favorable to Aaron.

Either way, he trusts Kevin. He’s come too far to not trust him, especially now. He takes a deep breath before nodding.

The knife lands with a satisfying thunk, freeing Aaron’s hand.

Riko’s head snaps up when Aaron’s feet hit the ground, first to Aaron’s eyes, then to the knife in the tree.

With a harsh tug Aaron pulls the knife from the bark just as Kevin kicks the back of Riko’s knees.

Suddenly the trees burst into flames. The smoke burns Aaron’s eyes but he doesn’t dare close them. He fears if he shuts his eyes for a second he’ll never see Kevin again.

Riko falls to his knees before twisting at the torso and elbowing Kevin hard in the stomach.

Kevin legs give out as Aaron lets out a yell, lunging at Riko.

Riko plants his feet, only stumbling back when Aaron’s body collides with his. Riko tries to push Aaron towards the fire, but Aaron manages to escape Riko’s grasp.

Aaron takes only a moment to breathe before swinging at Riko again with his knife.

Riko doges the fatal blow but suffers a relatively deep gash across his upper arm. Riko pulls out his own knife, aiming for Aaron’s stomach, but he falls short and ends up slashing Aaron’s thighs.

Aaron screams in pain before knocking the blade from Riko’s hands and falling to his knees.

Riko pulls himself to his feet and tugs the axe out of the tree, swinging as Kevin makes another move. Kevin has to duck to avoid the axe but he doesn’t hesitate before running at Riko, knocking both of them off their feet.

They land only a few inches from the fire. Kevin lets out what can only be described as a roar as he pushes Riko closer and closer to the flame until the fabric, and the skin, on Riko’s side starts burning.

Riko howls in pain as Kevin pulls himself up and lands a swift kick to Riko’s side then his head.

“You want to do the honors?” Kevin asks Aaron, stepping on Riko’s chest but giving Kevin room to work.
“You don’t want to?” Aaron asks.
“He knows I won. It doesn’t matter which one of us kills him at this point.”

Aaron nods in agreement.

“Thought you might want to use this.” Kevin says, holding out a familiar blade to Aaron. “It’s your brother’s right?”
“Yeah.” Aaron says, taking the knife firmly in his hand.

Aaron approaches Riko slowly. He’s laying on his back, gasping for air through what Aaron can only guess is a collapsed lung.

“Fuck you.” Aaron spits.
“You lost you worthless piece of shit.” Kevin adds.

The look on Riko’s face simultaneously makes Kevin proud and sick. The knowledge that Kevin bested him, that Kevin won, that this is the end of the line. It all weaves together into an expression somewhere between fear, anger, and something Kevin can’t place.

“Get it over with. Then let’s get out of this hellhole.” Kevin says quietly.

Aaron lowers himself to his knees before driving the blade into Riko’s neck.

There’s a squish and a crunching noise that makes Aaron’s stomach churn. The blood that sprays out of the wound, onto Aaron’s hands, through Aaron’s clothes makes Aaron empty his stomach onto the grass a few feet away.

“We won.” Kevin says in disbelief.

Aaron wants to say something, but before he can even open his mouth another wave of nausea hits him.

Chapter Text

It takes a heavy dose of sedation to get Aaron and Kevin cooperative enough to leave each other’s sides.

The two of them are taken to a medical facility where Kevin has a few surgeries done on his hand while Aaron gets the infection fully flushed from his system, as well as the broken bones courtesy of Riko.

Aaron feels like he can’t breathe. Every noise pushes him over the edge, sending a particularly bad wave of anxiety through him. He refuses to let go of the knife Andrew gave him. He keeps his back to the walls, never lets anyone behind him, hardly lets anyone close to him.

When he sleeps his dreams are full of terror, sometimes memories, sometimes distorted glimpses of the games.

Aaron feels like he can’t breathe, like every inhale isn’t deep enough. Aaron feels like he’s drowning every second of every day until he sees Kevin again.

Kevin looks better when Aaron’s let into the room. There’s more color in his skin, his hand is held together by more than the makeshift brace Aaron scraped together, and he’s gained back some weight.

The same thing could be said about Aaron. He no longer looks one strong gust of wind away from being knocked on his ass. His wounds are properly dressed and the cast on his arm somehow makes him look better.

Kevin’s head snaps up once Aaron closes the door behind him. Kevin’s face goes from tense and scared to relieved in a fraction of a second.

“Aaron.” Kevin breathes.
“Hey.” Aaron whispers.
“Are you- are you okay?” Kevin asks.
“Yeah. You?” Aaron says, approaching Kevin’s bed slowly.
“Yeah.” Kevin says, his voice barely there.

Aaron bites down on the inside of his cheek before throwing himself at Kevin.

Aaron throws his arms around Kevin’s neck in an impressively tight hug given his broken arm.

“We did it.” Aaron whispers.

Kevin can’t find his voice, instead he nods, holding Aaron as close as possible.

“I want to go home.” Kevin says, burying his head in Aaron’s neck.
“We can go. You and me we’ll go home. You just have to stay here a little longer, get your hand worked on. Then you can come home to me.” Aaron swears. “I promise.”
“You’ll write to me? Right?” Kevin asks.
“Of course.” Aaron swears.

Kevin pulls back, just far enough to look Aaron in the eyes.

“I thought for sure I’d imagined you. That the second we left you’d disappear.” Kevin confesses, looking Aaron up and down.
“I get what you mean. They’re sending me back home tomorrow morning so… all we have is tonight. I convinced them to send us dinner so…” Aaron trails off once Kevin starts smiling.
“You’re staying with me tonight?” Kevin asks, loosely intertwining their fingers.
“Of course.” Aaron says simply.

—

“I don’t want to go.” Aaron whispers sleepily, leaning further into Kevin’s hold.
“You’ve been away from your family for too long. You deserve to go home.” Kevin says softly.
“I just don’t want to go back without you. I feel like if you’re out of my sight for one second they’ll take you away, that I’ll never see you again.” Aaron confesses.
“I won’t let them. Once I can I’ll go home to you. They can’t keep me away even if they try.” Kevin promises Aaron.
“When you meet Nicky, do me a favor and ignore everything he says.” Aaron says after a stretch of comfortable silence.

Kevin barks out a laugh before pressing a kiss to Aaron’s temple.

That’s something Aaron’s noticed, Kevin likes kissing Aaron. His hands, forehead, cheek, nose, anywhere he can reach.

“What are we? We didn’t really get to talk.” Aaron says quietly once Kevin’s lips leave his head.
“I don’t know, whatever you want to be. I mean, we were partners in the games… why not be partners now?” Kevin says, shrugging to hide is anxiety.
“I like that idea.” Aaron says, sliding his hand into Kevin’s.
“Good.”

—

When Aaron sees Nicky he’s pulled into the tightest hug he’s ever experienced. Usually he’d fight off the grip, but this time he collapses into it, letting his older cousin hold him up.

Nicky’s trying to say something but Aaron can’t hear him over the sobs that rack his body.

Nicky lets go a lot sooner than Aaron expected. For a second Aaron thinks something is wrong but then he feels a familiar hand on his shoulder.

“Andrew.” Aaron whispers.
“Come here.” Andrew says, pulling his brother into a hug.

It’s the first time Aaron’s ever hugged his brother.

It’s nothing like the thousands of versions Aaron’s imagined. His arm burns from having it bent that way, Andrew smells awful and Aaron smells like a hospital. There’s no tears, no apologies. It’s silent, yet the simple act speaks volumes.

It says thank you, it says I’m sorry, it says I love you, It says I missed you, it says a million different things Aaron thought would never be said.

Aaron opens his mouth, but before he can get a word out everything goes black.

—

When Aarom wakes up he’s in his bed. He never thought he’d be so happy to be in his shitty single bed, but here he is, savoring the moment like it’s gold.

“You passed out.” Andrew says from the chair at the foot of Aaron’s bed.

Aaron nods silently.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” Andrew admits.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Aaron says, laughing drily.

Andrew rolls his eyes.

“I was worried that I wouldn’t see you.” Andrew corrects.
“Aw, you were worried.” Aaron says, his tone mocking.
“Fuck off. You’re gonna make me never say a kind word to you again.
“I’d appreciate it, you being nice… it’s weird Drew, I gotta be honest.” Aaron says.

Andrew stiffness.

“You haven’t called me that since-” Andrew starts.
“Since you killed mom.” Aaron finishes.
“Yeah.” Andrew says quietly.
“It feels like a silly thing to hold onto now.” Aaron says, shrugging as he sits up.
“How so?” Andrew asks.
“I don’t think it was the right thing to do, but you did. It happened, I can’t change the past. You did what you thought was best. While it wasn’t the best option in my opinion it’s the one you came up with. That’s that. There’s no point in holding that grudge anymore.” Aaron explains.
“I am sorry.” Andrew says simply.

It sounds insincere and underwhelming to the untrained ear.

To Aaron it’s everything he ever wanted to hear from his brother.

—

“You’re practically vibrating, calm down.” Nicky says when Aaron checks the clock again.
“He’s late.” Aaron points out.
“It’s been two minutes.” Andrew says flatly.
“It’s been two months.” Aaron says, rolling his eyes at his brother.
“Be nice to your brother Andrew. He misses Kevin, I think it’s sweet.” Nicky says sweetly.

Andrew fakes a dramatic gag.

Neil rolls his eyes but smiles at Andrew’s theatrics.

Aaron’s about to scold his brother when the door opens.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Kevin says softly.

In most cases Aaron would hold back, he’d keep his face flat and unmoving. But today he smiles. He smiles wider than he’s ever smiled before.

“Shut up.” Aaron says, pulling Kevin into a tight hug.
“I know you missed me.” Kevin teases.
“I did.” Aaron admits.
“I wanna look at you.” Kevin whispers, pulling back to look at Aaron.
“Hey.” Aaron says softly, his voice barely there.
“Hey.” Kevin echos, tucking Aaron’s hair back.

Kevin tips Aaron’s head back, guiding him up into a soft kiss.

“Awww.” Nicky says, reminding Aaron and Kevin they’re not alone.
“Fuck off.” Aaron mumbles, holding his middle finger up as he continues to kiss Kevin.
“God, they’re gonna start fucking if we don’t stop them.” Andrew says.

Aaron pulls away to send Andrew an angry and unimpressed look.

“I’m not wrong.” Andrew says dismissively.
“Yes you are. Unlike some people, I have decency.” Aaron fires back.
“Aaron, are you gonna introduce us?” Nicky prompts.
“I’m Kevin. Nice to meet you.” Kevin says, holding a hand out for Nicky to shake.

Nicky looks from Kevin’s hand to Kevin’s face then back again.

“He wants you to hug him.” Aaron whispers.
“Oh, sorry sir.” Kevin says, dropping his hand.
“Call me Nicky.” Nicky says, holding his arms out for a hug.

Once Kevin and Nicky home apart Andrew steps between the two men.

Andrew doesn’t speak. He looks Kevin in the eyes, his gaze harsh and unmoving. Kevin looks back, his eyes equally firm.

Finally, Andrew holds his hand out for Kevin to shake.

“Thank you.” Andrew says as he shakes Kevin’s hand. “For taking care of him.” Andrew adds, jerking his head toward Aaron.
“My pleasure.” Kevin says honestly.
“Diners ready.” Nicky says, slinging his arm around Kevin’s shoulder.

Aaron can hear Nicky say something about ‘when Aaron was younger’ in a hushed voice and a smirk that is nothing but trouble.

“I like him.” Andrew says flatly.
“I knew you would.” Aaron says smugly.

Dinner is full of laughs. Well, laughs for everyone but Aaron as most of the conversations center around embarrassing childhood stories related to Aaron.

By the time Aaron and Kevin turn in for the night, both of the men are exhausted.

“I can’t believe you thought blue fire was cold.” Kevin says, leaning against Kevin to steady himself as he laughs.
“Kids are dicks. How was I supposed to know without figuring it out for myself? It’s called the scientific method.” Aaron argues.
“Oh- look what I can do.” Kevin says excitedly.

Kevin holds his left hand up before curling it into a loose, underwhelming fist.

“That’s amazing.” Aaron says, taking the hand into his own.
“It hurts like hell, I can’t hold anything, and I can only do it for so long before my hand starts spasming, but it’s progress.” Kevin says, shrugging as he speaks.
“It is progress. And I’m proud.” Aaron says sincerely.
“Thanks.” Kevin whispers before kissing Aaron gently.
“How are you?” Aaron asks quietly.
“Well, besides the nightmares, the paranoia, and the physical effects… I’m pretty good.” Kevin says sarcastically. “You?”
“About the same.” Aaron confesses. “But… better now that you’re here. Though to be honest I do have concerns.”
“Like what?” Kevin asks softly.
“We met because we were stuck in that hell. We- we feel however we feel about each other because of an awful situation we were in. Would we even feel this way if it wasn’t for the shit that happened? What happens if we fall apart out here?” Aaron asks.
“Then we fall apart, but I don’t think we will. Look, we met because of the games but I don’t care about you because of the games. I care about you because you’re you. Yeah we wouldn't have met if it wasn’t for the games but you could say that about anyone. We met because of the game makers but that’s not why we care about each other. They don’t get to decide that for us.” Kevin says sincerely.
“Okay.” Aaron whispers, letting Kevin’s words roll around in his head. “Let’s go to bed. I’m beat.”
“Lead the way.”

When they lie down in the too small bed Aaron thinks it should be uncomfortable. He thinks it shouldn’t be as perfect as it is. He thinks he should be focused on Kevin’s elbow pressing into his ribs. Instead he’s focused on the steady beat of Kevin’s heart and the warmth radiating from Kevin’s body.

“Goodnight Kev.” Aaron whispers.
“Goodnight Aaron. I’m happy to be home.”