Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Weekend rushes were exhausting.

Saturdays were the toughest, but sometimes, a Sunday was just as chaotic. However, the last thing Steve wanted to do was complain. Busy days may have left him feeling like his brain was leaking out of his ears and like he didn’t know how to say anything save for how can I help you and have a nice day, but he tried his best not to complain most days.

Besides, he had nothing to complain about. Business at the bakery was picking up, money was coming in more steadily than it usually did, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t handle the heat himself for now. It was hard work, but it was his hard work.

Flipping the open sign over, he took a moment to breathe. While Sundays also meant closing earlier than usual, he still had a few deliveries to take care of. It was something he was adjusting to, something he had no choice to adjust to since he only hired Peter for the summer, and it didn’t seem like the kid had much time to juggle school and working for Steve, and coming all the way from Queens everyday wasn’t easy, anyway.

“Okay, almost done,” Steve said, drawing the blinds down and looking back at the table in the far corner of the shop. “Anything special for dinner?”

June sat in her usual spot, already packing her pencils back into place and setting them on top of a coloring book she’d brought down with her. She looked up at Steve, squinting with her nose wrinkled up. “What about pizza?” she asked.

Steve thought about it for a moment. He doubted June would want leftovers and frankly, he doubted he wanted them either. Last night’s dinner didn’t come out perfectly, considering the overcooked vegetables and store-bought rotisserie chicken. “Well, we only have three deliveries today,” he said, crossing his arms. “And our last stop isn’t far from Antonio’s, if that’s what you’re craving.”

That was all the motivation needed for June to quickly gather the rest of her things. Storing them away was no issue and neither was grabbing everything else she and Steve needed since their apartment was directly above the bakery. It was one of the best parts of owning the building, even though it was less his and more of a family heirloom, if one wanted to get technical about it.

Rogers’ Pastry Shop had been around since 1942, passed from generation to generation, but Steve’s pop passing when Steve was only two meant it was his ma running from then on, then she and Steve together until she passed two years ago. If anyone showed Steve the ropes, helped him hone in on the hand for baking he was surely born to have, it was Sarah Rogers.

Looking back, it was possible that her getting Steve into it all so early was to distract him, to stop him from getting into trouble on the days his joints weren’t cramped up in pain or sat in his room during sticky summers and bitter winters with a nebulizer covering his nose and mouth, lungs tight as a drum all the while. None of that ever truly went away, but at twenty-eight, it wasn’t news for Steve when his hands stiffened or tenderness twisted in his neck and knees during a flare-up, or when it got harder to breathe as temperatures fluctuated. He knew how to take care of himself in more ways than one now. His doctor was and is a goddamn lifesaver, and having a mother who trained as a nurse before taking the bakery over was a mercy in and of itself.

Steve and June were in the apartment for less than a minute, and it wasn’t long before they were on their way to get the van, parked in a garage a few blocks down. Once they drove out and back down their street, Steve glanced over at the diner across from the bakery, closed as it was every Sunday but still, he half-expected to see at least one of the Barneses inside.

Well, not any Barnes. Maybe just one.

“Can I help carry the boxes?” June asked, breaking Steve from his brief reverie. “Please?”

Maybe that was a sign he shouldn’t think about it too much. He watched June in the rear view mirror as they came to a stop, her blue fleece was zipped up tight against the early evening chill, wisps of blond falling from the bun Steve pulled her hair into in the morning.

“I don’t know about the boxes,” he answered, leaving the radio on a whisper as he spoke. “But if we get paid in cash, you can handle it. Think you can do that? I might even let you keep the tips.”

Steve said it with mirth, flashing her a smile and she gave him one right back, nodding. “You promise?” she asked, interest obviously piqued.

It caught him by surprise and he choked out a laugh. “Yeah, I promise. Cross my heart, pal,” he chuckled. “Didn’t think I was gonna get hassled for money till you were at least twelve, though.”

From there, he focused on the deliveries, and they went by quicker than expected. A strawberry shortcake dropped at the Vasilakis’ home, a birthday cake dropped off at a house out in Bed-Stuy, a big box of blueberry muffins and cheese danishes at a small office building in Fort Greene, then a tiramisu dropped off in DUMBO, left at the front desk of an apartment building Steve could only ever dream of living in. 

Only one order was paid for in cash, the rest taken care of in advance over the phone, and June managed to add five dollars to her savings, in the end. Five dollars she quickly ended up spending at the pizza parlour, but Steve thought they could talk about spending and saving money another day. After all, June was only seven. There was plenty of time to teach her all she needed to know.

They managed to snag a table in the back, and they ordered their usual—a slice each and an order of garlic knots to share. June talked all the while, jumping from the eventual birthday of one of her school friends and then to the upcoming week, but it all left the tension from the afternoon slipping from Steve’s shoulders, and he was relieved to focus on nothing but the moment.

There were plenty of days where this felt like more than enough. A part of Steve was still thinking about finding someone, someone who would be willing to keep up with the life he’d built and focus on having a stable relationship, but at the moment, he was exactly where he was supposed to be. He wouldn’t trade Sunday evenings at Antonio’s with June for anything.

Halfway through his bite of pizza crust, a wad of paper hit him square between the eyes. “Hey,” he said, trying to stifle a smile. “What was that for?”

“I wasn’t aiming for you,” June insisted. “I was aiming behind you.”

“Listen, I can help you with school and plenty of other things, but not target practice,” Steve said. He wiped his fingers on a napkin before crumbling it, dropping it into his empty plate. “Speaking of school, it’s getting pretty late. We should head home soon.”

They didn’t stay much longer, and once they were walking back to the van, June asked, “Do I need to take a bath?”

Steve hummed before leaning down and taking a loud, exaggerated sniff of her hair, tugging her close while she tried to push him off, grinning all the while. “Maybe,” he said. “Unless you’re looking to keep vampires away. You smell like garlic.”

“Says you!” June giggled.

“Come on, your dad smells like a rose garden,” Steve told her, opening the door once they got to their parking spot. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same”

The drive back was relatively quiet, and arriving home was no different. June took a bath, changed into pajamas, and Steve dried her hair afterward before french-braiding it back (he thanked God for YouTube and the fact that he knew how to plait dough). From there, June did the last of her homework. She didn’t need much help, which was another small mercy. Her stubborn streak was about as intense as Steve’s, but unlike his seven year old self, she took to numbers like a fish to water, a fact he’d witnessed firsthand and one that had been told to him plenty of times. Sure, Steve was good with them as he grew older, but June was whip smart on math.

Steve went over the books for the day and rubbed his eyes as he finished, vision a little blurry around the edges. He needed to start wearing reading glasses, and it wasn’t like he didn’t own a pair. They were still in their case, collecting dust in his bedside drawer for the past four months, solely because he was too stubborn to wear them.

He soon closed the book up, crossing his arms over the table top, and when he glanced at his watch, he found it was a quarter past nine. He looked over at June, slumped onto the couch and engrossed in the TV completely.

Steve cleared his throat. “‘Scuse me, miss,” he said, and June lifted her head to look over at him, already resigned. “I think it’s time you get your butt into bed.”

“I know, I know,” she said before sliding off the couch. She came over, hugging Steve hard around the neck. “Night, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you more, Junebug,” Steve murmured. He wrapped his arms around her tight before he gently tugged on her braid, just to hear her laugh. “C’mon, let’s get a move on.”

“Yessir,” June said, and then she was walking down the hall to her room. Steve watched the door close halfway, the light flick off, and then he tucked his things away, cleaned the apartment up before finishing his own routine and heading into his own room.

Even though he crawled into bed himself, he was far from tired, brain still racing a mile a minute. He found himself staying awake for a while, watching the hour slipped by as he looked into the brightness of his phone, reading pointless article after pointless article until each blink grew longer, heavier, and he finally set his phone down, turning around and forcing himself to get at least a few hours of sleep.

-

At five o’clock sharp, his alarm went off.

Steve silenced it quickly and sat up instead of turning into the warmth of the covers once more. He inhaled sharply, scrubbing his hands over his eyes, where a headache was already forming, and eventually found the willpower to trudge into the bathroom.

He splashed his face with cold water and brushed the dry sourness of the night from his mouth, swished with mouthwash for good measure. He didn’t bother changing his clothes. He could handle that later, so slippers and a hoodie it was.

By the time Steve sneaked out of the apartment and down to the shop, he felt a little more awake. The biting morning air rushed over him and it was all but pitch dark in the shop when he unlocked the door and stepped inside, the bell above it tinkling softly.

Steve didn’t consider it work, waking as early as he did. Not really. It was as intrinsic as making coffee or taking June to school. Just another part of his morning routine.

So, from there, he got to work.

He preheated the ovens. He prepped two muffin batters, and once they were done baking, he directed his attention to, well, everything else. He prepared his puff pastry yesterday morning, and all he had to do was work on fillings for the danishes and toss them into the oven. The muffins came out, the danishes went in, and by the time he finished, he was beginning to work up a sweat. Who needed exercise when he worked this much to begin with?

It was six-thirty by then, and Steve was relieved at least some menu items were prepared in advance. Weekends brought in a good lump sum of money, but by Monday morning, he was often stripped of his wares and had to start from scratch. The last thing he wanted to do was serve anything less than fresh, but he did need a better system.

And a second set of hands.

Steve filled the display case with what he had thus far. Everything else would be worked on later in the day, surely in that stretch of silence after a lunch rush.

He wiped his hands on his apron, hung it in the kitchen, and locked up all over again. If he moved fast, he would find time for a shower. Breakfast was no issue for him since he may or may not have swiped one of his own danishes, but June needed to get some food in her, too, and soon. Time slipped by on a school day, always faster than Steve expected.

The cool air was a blessing once more. The sun was just beginning to rise over his street, bathing it in soft blue light. Across the street, the diner was opening, and that wasn’t the only other source of light. The faint, scarlet flare of a cigarette caught Steve’s eye, held by a figure Steve would recognize almost anywhere.

Bucky Barnes sat on the curb with his morning smoke, in only a thin grey shirt and jeans, apron tied over it. He gave Steve a two-note whistle and waved him down with his free hand. “Mornin’, Rogers,” he called, voice echoing down their quiet little street. “Any deliveries today?”

“Morning, Buck,” Steve said, and even from where he stood, he could see that familiar smile on Bucky’s mouth, easy and slow. Steve tried not to pay attention to the warmth blooming in the core of his chest. “Just one. Bringing it over in the afternoon. Family’s okay?”

Park Slope Dinette had been in Brooklyn for almost as long as the bakery, but this arrangement had only developed when Steve was about twelve. There was no room and no way for the Barneses to afford making their own desserts, so outsourcing was their only option by that point, and since both families got along well enough, the bakery was the best choice. It was a good deal, too. Steve liked the family just fine, liked making extra profit, too, so it was more than either of them could ask for.

Seeing Bucky nearly every day didn’t hurt, either.

His long hair was pulled back, just like it always was, but his beard was growing in thicker even than usual. He must have wanted to try something new, Steve thought. It looked good on him. “Driving me crazy, but they’re alive and well. Same as always,” Bucky said, standing up and killing his cigarette under his boot. “You and June doing alright?”

He and Bucky didn’t usually talk much in the mornings. Not when there was so much for both of them to take care of and they were both still shaking off the final dregs of sleep. Deliveries would be later on though, and that was usually the chance to dig a little deeper, talk a little more. 

It wasn’t as though they didn’t know each other growing up. They were far from strangers. They were aware of each other more than anything else in the beginning, especially since they attended the same school, but Bucky was a year older than Steve and worked damn hard outside of school. Their days were spent in roughly the same manner, constantly busy and moving in circles around each other until Steve left for college and Bucky became an even scarcer presence than he was before.

It was only in the past few years that they began to talk more often, get to know each other better. Bucky often picked up what was needed for the diner, or came over to talk to Steve during his morning or evening smokes, and each interaction just made Steve want more and more. Bucky was...he knew how to make you feel like you were something important, no matter how little he knew about you. He cared about what someone had to say, and as someone who rarely found that, Steve admired him for it.

“Good as we can be,” Steve said, already beginning to step away. “But I gotta run and wake her up, actually. See you later?”

“Long as you send me an eclair or four!” Bucky yelled after him, and Steve couldn’t do much but wave, even though he found himself smiling, the image of Bucky’s crooked smile burned into his brain as he slipped through the downstairs door and jogged up the stairs before unlocking the door leading into the apartment.

Miraculously, June was already awake and dressed. Sat at their little dining table with a nearly empty bowl of cereal and a cup of orange juice. She waved at Steve when she caught his eye, finishing her juice off as he came close. “Hey, Junebug,” Steve said, ruffling her already messy hair before he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, hoping to combat the pang of guilt he felt. “You’re up early.”

June nodded, moving to wipe her mouth on her sleeve before Steve arched his brow at her. She grabbed a napkin instead. “Just excited, that’s all,” she said, shrugging.

Steve plopped into the seat opposite her. “Yeah?” he asked. “What about?”

“Cassie and Mr. Lang are picking me up today,” June answered, then gave Steve a look. “Remember?”

God, yesterday really did fry Steve’s brain. He rubbed his hand over his eyes. The rush of the morning finally began to catch up with him, and all he could think about was taking some time to himself, maybe closing his eyes for a few minutes. If Lang was taking June to school, there was nothing for Steve to do until the time came to pick June up. Nothing to worry about for at least the next hour.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. “Yeah, June. ‘Course I remember. You get washed up yet?”

June nodded. “Will you help me with my hair?” she asked.

“Your wish is my command, your majesty,” Steve said, and June’s smile at him was contagious.

-

Soon enough, June’s hair was pulled and pinned up into a bun Steve felt a little smug about. He made quick work of packing lunch just before the time came for June to be picked up, and it wasn’t much longer before they were standing outside and the familiar sight of Scott Lang’s car pulled up, June was already dragging Steve toward it as the back window rolled down and Cassie stuck her head out the window, waving June down.

Steve liked Scott. Really, he did. He liked Maggie and Jim just fine, too, but Steve liked knowing he wasn’t the only single guy in his immediate circle who wanted to do right by his daughter. He almost wished they hung out more, or that he brought up Scott’s months-old offer of grabbing a beer somewhere. He was far from opposed to new friendships, even if he wasn’t sure he had time to maintain them.

“Gimme a hug?” Steve said, and barely got it out before June was squeezing him around the middle. He rubbed her back before letting go and watched her climb into the backseat with Cassie. “I’ll see you at our spot outside, okay?”

“‘Kay,” she shouted through the cracked open window. “Bye, Dad!”

And then Scott was driving away. Steve watched for only a moment and then headed back upstairs. He still had over a little time until he officially opened, and all he could think about was a hot shower.

-

He went through the motions of his own routine after showering. He scarfed an egg sandwich down and poured himself a coffee, brewed as strong as he could bear, into a thermos before finally opening the bakery.

The morning wasn’t too slow, thankfully. He had a damn good lunch rush, too. Good enough that he didn’t mind the familiar slump that followed. It gave him time to get his head together, to get to work on the rest of the menu for the day.

He left his raw sourdough loaves to prove, knowing they would be ready for the oven in the morning. He wasn’t much of a cupcake person, but customers seemed to like them, so he added two batches of those to his agenda, baked as many eclairs as he could fit into the oven and filled them with the pastry creams he prepared yesterday morning, using them all up. In the midst of it, he took down a birthday cake order for the end of November and marked it on his calendar.

He almost smiled when he set the coffee eclairs in the display case, and had half a mind to box a few up to stay in the back fridge until the time for the diner’s deliveries came, but he wouldn’t do anything that stupid. That rash.

Steve didn’t doubt that Bucky liked him, but he wasn’t sure if those feelings were anything but friendly. Sure, Steve knew Bucky wasn’t straight, but that was only because he ran into him at Metropolitan five years back, alone and expertly shooting pool. He was bathed in the deep, dim light of the bar, and his hair was shorter back then. Face mostly clean-shaven, and he looked at ease for once. Without his apron and his ratty old cap and not running laps around the diner, doing the bulk of the work since his sisters were both busy with school and too young to help out.

He looked surprised to see Steve, about as surprised as Steve felt when he backed straight into him, nearly getting Bucky’s beer poured down his back. but the guy didn’t say much after that, save for telling Steve that the table was free, squeezing his shoulder tightly and giving him a knee-buckling smile before heading to the bar.

It was enough to leave Steve rattled, and enough to have Sam asking what the hell was that?

Steve didn’t have an answer then, and he doesn’t have an answer now. When he saw Bucky at the bar later on, knee pressed up against some other guy’s as he watched him with an intensity Steve had never, ever seen on him, he didn’t do anything but stare before making himself look away. Bucky wasn’t what Steve wanted to focus on, anyway. He wanted to enjoy the time he had with his best friend since he was only in New York for the weekend, and he wanted a night off from being the nervous mess of a father he was at the time. His ma was still alive back then, June was turning two, and Steve couldn’t shake the idea that he had no idea what he was doing.

Hell, he still felt like that some days, but he thought he was doing a decent job, all things considered. It was just that he didn’t know how to think about himself or his own needs, and barely knew what to do with his feelings for Bucky, which were quickly becoming more than a little unmanageable.

He wasn’t even sure if Bucky was attracted to him, or if Bucky was out to anyone in his family, considering Steve heard mentions of a few girlfriends that came and went over the years. He wasn’t even sure what Bucky saw when he looked at him, if he saw anything at all. He could have assumed Steve was just tagging along with Sam, too blinded by the fact that Steve had a child. Just like nearly everyone else. Always thinking they knew Steve’s life story by looking at him and making their own assumptions. Pitying him. Assuming June’s mother was out of the picture, and that Steve was looking for another woman to take her place.

Steve had no interest in being with any women. He wasn’t a widow, not really, because he was never in a relationship with June’s mother in the first place.

Peggy Carter was barely part of Steve’s life. They had two classes together during Steve’s time at NYU, and Steve never interacted with her much outside of occasionally asking and answering questions during class and occasionally nodding at each other in the dining hall, but after he’d been cajoled into attending a party and he’d gotten separated from Sam and Natasha (who he’d only just met at the time) in the crush of drunk college students, Steve found himself nervously downing drink after drink before ending up on a cramped love seat beside Peggy, of all people, mostly because she was the only other familiar face he could find.

The rest of the night was a blur.

The next morning, he woke in an unfamiliar room, sandwiched between Peggy’s body and the wall, and when she came around, the hurried dressing and lack of eye contact, the way Steve made a beeline for the exit, was enough of a hint that they would never speak of the night before again. They’d simply act like none of it ever happened and return to normal, but it wasn’t long before Peggy dropped the class they shared. After that, she avoided him whenever they were in the same place, and in a way that felt so... cold. It made Steve uneasy, like he’d done something wrong.

And then he received a phone call from her. Months later and long after he’d filed her to the back of his brain, thinking of the dark stretch of time they spent together as nothing more than a drunken mistake he barely remembered in the first place. 

In that time, all the confusion he felt, the painful knot that twisted in the core of his stomach whenever he considered getting married or being in a relationship finally began to make sense and he knew he couldn’t be with Peggy or any woman Natasha had ever tried to set him up with. Not if it was going to make him feel as terrible as he did just thinking about it.

Of course, he wondered before that. The thought had always sat somewhere in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t until weeks after that night with Peggy that Steve had fully taken the time to face it head-on, even when it stripped him raw. Right to the bone.

There was no doubt in his mind once he came to say it to himself. There was no time in Steve’s life where he wasn’t gay, but confused. Afraid. Worried about losing the relationships he held so closely and ending up so painfully lonely.

But summer of that year, he came out to Sam and Natasha despite his fear, and then eventually his ma, and maybe a part of Steve knew that they would still be there, but the relief of the overwhelming love was so great that it almost hurt, left him bursting with an emotion he couldn’t quite place.

From there, everything felt okay. He didn’t have long until graduation, and then maybe he’d be able to focus on living his own life, helping his ma with the bakery and finding a way to bring more money in, or maybe even start thinking about what he wanted out of life, who he wanted.

In that moment, the last thing he ever imagined was Peggy being pregnant.

Five months pregnant, to be precise.

Steve almost felt foolish for not noticing, not even suspecting, but it wasn’t like Peggy gave him much of a chance to. She avoided him sharply and obviously, never giving him the slightest chance to catch on, and knowing that this is what was kept from him left him reeling, head spinning at the revelation.

That phone call quickly turned into an argument. Shouting coming from both sides, even when Steve struggled to stay calm and ease his racing heart, breathe through it. He was terrified, plain and simple. Terrified of the future and so goddamn unsure of what to do next. Nothing was certain anymore. Nothing was stable. The only thing that felt solid was his fear, hot and fresh and burning a hole through his chest. Peggy wasn’t one to hold back and neither was Steve, both stubborn in their own ways, which is why the fight lasted as long as it did, but it wasn’t long until they had no choice but to reach a point where they couldn’t argue anymore. 

The only agreement they could possibly come to was that Steve would be allowed to be in their child’s life while he and Peggy lived their own separate ones. Peggy already had her future hanging by a thread, had plans to return home and focus on her career, and she had no one to leave the baby with in London, where she already had a career opportunity waiting for her. The aunt she’d grown up with had passed away, and her brother was nearly twenty years older than her, utterly estranged and impossible to reach.

So, it was only logical that Steve was the sole caretaker. They would arrange times to meet up, but the baby would, for all intents and purposes, be Steve’s responsibility.

Peggy hung up first, before Steve could say anything else, and from there, it was back to avoiding each other until Peggy went into labor over a week before her due date.

It happened so suddenly that Steve didn’t know about it until hours later, long after Peggy already gave birth. The moment he heard, he rushed to the hospital with barely any time to let his mother, Sam, or Natasha know what was happening, and soon enough, he was at a desk trying to explain himself to a nurse as his lungs burned and ached and sweat dripped from his forehead. After that,  he finally managed to get into Peggy’s room only to find her mostly asleep, just lucid enough to confirm the fact that Steve was indeed the father of the child. 

From there, he was led down to the nursery and for a short while, he just stared through the window. He watched the babies sleep on and searched each cradle for a familiar surname until a nurse stepped out and asked if he was ready to meet his daughter.

Just like that, he had a daughter.

When the nurse handled the little bundle of blankets over, Steve’s heart was pounding so hard it hurt and he was afraid he would shake so badly that he would have to hand the baby back over, but he felt the warm weight of her settle into his arms and listened to her breathing, watched her chest rising and falling quickly. He gazed at her closed eyes before he smoothed one finger, gentle as anything, over the softness of her cheek, and she barely fussed, just sat comfortably in his hold.

His eyes felt hot as he took the sight of her in, all pink skin and pale blond hair and what looked like a tiny, tiny version of his nose. The right thing to name her would have been Rose, considering just how rosy she was, but the first words he ever said to her were, “Hey, Junebug.”

Sarah June Rogers was born on February 1st, 2007. Eight pounds and four ounces, nineteen inches long. Steve hadn’t known why Peggy was so content with letting him take the reins on her daughter’s name. She wasn’t the type to sit back and let someone make a decision for her, and despite Steve barely knowing her, that was one thing he was absolutely sure of.

The next day was a whirlwind. He was grateful that he lived at home, then, in the creaky old house that had been in the Rogers’ family for years up until the time came to say goodbye to it. Steve must have drove his ma out of her head from the moment June was born, asking her every question under the sun. Asking her which wipes to buy and which bassinet would be safer and if she was sure he was holding June correctly.

They were a good team, Steve thought. They cleaned out his childhood room while Peggy and June were still at the hospital, then somehow, Sarah slipped out while Steve was working on it all and returned with three bags worth of baby clothes, blankets, and everything else June could possibly need, things Steve didn’t even consider in the beginning. The hug Steve pulled her into was one he couldn’t help needing, and of course Steve loved her, but he couldn’t remember the last time he needed her so desperately.

Dropping out was a difficult decision made in those two busy days, and possibly made far too impulsively, but it was a necessary one, and one Steve made despite Sarah telling him not to worry and continue his studies. He had a business to run and a daughter to raise, and he wasn’t going to let either opportunity go to waste.

Despite the chaos, Steve was happy. He knew he could live with the arrangement just fine. All seemed fine despite Peggy still not being herself, weak and nauseous, feverish with pain. Steve slept on the chair in her room even though they didn’t talk much at all. Steve was the one who woke whenever June fussed and made sure she was fed. He was the one who woke whenever a nurse slipped into the room. From where things stood, Peggy needed an extra night in the hospital to get her strength back, so Steve stood, too. The last thing he wanted to do was leave June, anyway.

Everything had seemed fine before Steve was jolted awake by someone shouting code blue.

Steve woke up to chaos, jolting up from his spot on the armchair to find doctors and nurses filing in and the sound of the heart monitor beeping rapidly. All he could see was a glimpse of Peggy convulsing on the bed, neck arched back painfully. The next thing he knew, someone was handing June to him and ushering him out of the room.

“Hey, Junie, it’s okay,” Steve whispered to her, shushing her through it all, even when dozens of concerned eyes were on him. “It’s gonna be okay.”

More shouting, more nurses, but just like that, Peggy was gone. The sound of the heart monitor flatlining would have had Steve’s knees giving out if he didn’t have June in his arms.

When the smoke cleared, a nurse had sat down beside him and told him that it was postpartum preeclampsia, and that it came on so fast, so suddenly there was nothing to be done. The symptoms she’d had weren’t unlike anyone after giving birth. All Steve could do was nod when the nurse told him how sorry she was for his loss. There was no use in explaining the complicated dynamic he had with Peggy.

His ears rang painfully in the quiet, and he couldn’t do anything but stare down at June as she drifted back to sleep, so unaware of what had happened, and something deep inside Steve’s chest shattered for her.

He too had grown up without a parent. Joseph Rogers passed away before Steve got the chance to know him. June’s mother was gone, and even if she would have been a distant figure as the years passed, there would still be a missing piece somewhere in June’s life.

Steve didn’t even attend Peggy’s funeral because he couldn’t afford it. Her brother, emerged from the shadows, had her funeral in Sussex, and then never breathed a word to Steve, not a care spared toward his newborn niece.

Steve couldn’t help being angry. He doubted he would ever stop being angry, and as time went on, he thought about what the future would be like if Peggy had lived. Steve mourned the fact that June had lost her mother, but he didn’t know Peggy well enough to mourn her, and most of their relationship was made up of arguments and icy silences despite it being as clinical and businesslike as he was, but he couldn’t tell June that. Ever. He didn’t want her to grow up angry or hurt, so he never let it show and never spoke about it. He knew he had to do what he could to soothe the hurt that would stick stubbornly to her, but badmouthing wouldn’t do anything but make that worse. That was the last thing Steve would ever do to her.

June was close to Sarah while he was alive. Close to Sam and Natasha, especially since they were her godparents, but a part of him knew the questions would come one day, and when they did, he answered them as well as he could. He told her the few things he knew about Peggy, but when she inevitably asked what happened to her now that she was old enough to understand death, it took everything Steve had not to let his careful mask slip, and everything he had not to show how much seeing her face so utterly crushed hurt.

“I know what that hurt feels like,” Steve told her. “Believe me when I tell you that. I didn’t know my dad growing up, but I had your grandma, and now you have me the same way, and that’s for life. It’s you and me, pal. Don’t forget that.”

You and me. It had been Steve and June for years, fully on their own since Sarah died and they sold the house, converting the second floor of the bakery into an apartment, and now that June was older, of course Steve had thought about finding the right person for him, working his way up to being in a relationship, but it was so hard to imagine with the luck he’d had thus far. No one he’d ever been out with cared to look closer once they knew he had a child, and finding someone with any semblance of shared life experience wasn’t easy.

There was no point in looking for it now. He didn’t have the time or the space in his brain to think about it. What he had was enough, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Steve wiped his hands on his apron, shut the display case, and leaned heavily against it, half-hoping to see a tall, dark figure across the street when he looked out the window.

-

The rest of the day passed with little fanfare, and for that, Steve was grateful. The weekend was good. It was damn good, actually, for the first time in far too long. Steve’s worries would be sated for at least a little while, and if the rest of the week was the same, if the weekends got even better, then he could start taking one day off again. He could reserve that time for himself. He and June hadn’t done anything fun in a while, and she deserved a break, too. She may have only been seven, but Steve feared being so consumed by work and missing everything important in her life.

His final task was two cheesecakes, a chocolate cake, and three pies for the diner. It didn’t feel like work most times, and knowing he’d make his way across the street made it feel less so. Having an employee or two would help ease Steve’s stress, and he knew he needed to look into that at some point. Even if it was just some kid running the register while Steve stood in the kitchen, or even vice versa. He wasn’t stingy on his recipes. He’d even offered them to the Barneses, but neither Bucky or his parents had a hand for baking, and the presence of Bucky’s sisters—Rebecca, Thea, and Nora—was becoming even more scarce with time. Rebecca was two years younger than Steve and engaged, Thea would graduate soon, and Nora was in her junior year of high school.

“Hell,” Steve muttered to himself, boxing up six coffee eclairs.

-

At three-thirty, he closed up. Earlier than usual, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He loaded boxes onto his rickety hand truck and wheeled it to the back door of the diner, finding Rebecca sitting on a crate beside it. She quickly hung up her phone when she locked eyes with Steve, pocketing it and standing up.

“Hey, you’re right on time,” Rebecca said, flashing Steve a smile as she pushed her curls back from her eyes. She tugged the door open for him and followed him inside, down the hall to the fridge. Steve could hear the chatter from the front, sizzling from the kitchen, and at least three different smells in the midst of it all.

“Busy day?” Rebecca asked.

“Not so much in the way of customers,” Steve said. “But definitely busy. You doin’ okay? With school and everything?”

Rebecca shrugged and opened the fridge. “You know how it is,” she said. “Kicking my ass, but I’m in the home stretch, at least…” she arched a brow. “What’s in the box?”

Of course, her eyes fell to the smaller one on top of the cheesecake. God, Steve was hoping to see Bucky outside and give it to him without making a fuss about it.

“Oh,” Steve said, a prickle of discomfort rushing up his spine as he handed it over. It had the guy’s name scribbled onto it, and that just made the fact that Rebecca had Steve’s number even more obvious. He never thought he’d see the day he feared Rebecca Barnes, but stranger things have happened. “That’s...it’s nothing, but—” he exhaled. “You mind giving it to Bucky?”

That, evidently, only piqued Rebecca’s curiosity further. She arched her brow. “I could,” she said. “But he’s not busy. He’s just up front if you wanna give it to him yourself.”

Steve wasn’t sure which would be worse. Rebecca handing it over or Steve himself going up to Bucky in the middle of the diner to deliver it. At least he would be able to control some part of what happened if he did it on his own, but there was still so much for him to do today, and suddenly, the thought of being face to face with Bucky when he was feeling this anxious didn’t sound very appealing.

“I would,” Steve said, shaking his head. “But I gotta pick up June, and make sure she gets something to eat. Kid comes home a bottomless pit.”

Rebecca’s smile was warm, and a little knowing. “Yeah, okay, super-dad. I got you covered,” she said, expression softening after a moment. “You doing okay?”

Steve didn’t know what to say to that. He just smiled back at her, shrugging. “Getting by,” he said. “I’ll see you around, Becca.”

“I’m sure you will,” Rebecca said, giving him a wink. “I’ll make sure Bucky gets his present. Don’t worry about it.”

And then Rebecca was striding off to the counter, just as Winnie shouted for her. She mouthed a quick sorry, and then she was gone in a rush. Steve had no problem seeing himself out. He’d been making deliveries to the diner since he was sixteen. It was no trouble, and far from a strenuous job, anyway.

He stepped out, shutting the door behind him, and took a breath of the rapidly cooling air. The sky was grey and overcast, heavy and desperate for the inevitable rain that would sweep over the city. Staying in for the night might be for the best after all.

-

Steve walked over to the school and picked June up, managing to get home just as the rain began. He tucked her under his unzipped hoodie to keep her from getting too wet, even though it was just a few steps before they were inside and then stepping into the apartment. June set her backpack on the hook by the door, kicked her shoes off, and ran for the bathroom, socked feet thumping on the hardwood floor.

Wiping raindrops from his forehead, Steve leaned against the kitchen counter. He knew how worn he felt, tired to the bone, but still, he began setting out everything they needed for dinner.

God, he had no idea how his ma did it sometimes. She was an unshakable thing, and was in circumstances not so different from Steve’s, but he wondered, lately more than ever, if she was ever truly afraid. If she ever felt as lost as Steve often did. The fear of messing up, of somehow not giving June whatever she needed, was constant. Endless.

That was when June came back, wiping her hands on a crumbled paper towel. Her hair was still neat as a pin after an entire school day, and Steve almost wanted to give himself a pat on the back for that.

“Hey, you,” Steve said as lightly as he could manage, standing up straighter as June stepped into the kitchen. “Wanna help me out over here?”

June tugged the fridge open and stood up on her toes to reach for a drink. “Whatcha making?” she asked. 

Steve shrugged. “That’s what I need your help with,” he said. “I’m fresh out of—hey, come on, swap that out. I put a Yoo-Hoo in your lunchbox today.”

She pouted for only a moment, but then grabbed a bottle of water, resigned. Steve knew that pinch between her brows well. He saw it in the mirror far too often. Evidently, he wasn’t the only one who was exhausted.

It was almost strange, how much Rogers blood June had in her. Even down to her expressions. She was all blonde hair and blue eyes, with a long nose and as many freckles as Steve had when he was her age. Not much, if any, of Peggy was there. She’d become too blurry of a figure in Steve’s mind for him to compare her and June. He didn’t have a single picture, either, but then again, why would he?

“Come on,” Steve said, nudging her arm with his elbow before he reached into the fridge, grabbing the basics of what he needed. “I need my sous chef helping me out.”

He made meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and Steve let June help him with the salad, too, just to keep her from zoning out in front of the computer. He sliced tomatoes and cucumbers and prepared dressing for June to shake up before he helped her tossed everything together. They set it in the fridge, taking it out once everything was ready, and soon sat in the living room with June’s homework laid out on the coffee table, Steve mostly supervising and giving her some help when she got stuck.

It was the same as any other Monday. They ate dinner. June told him about her day. They tried to come up with a plan for the weekend. They watched TV until it was time for June to get ready for bed, and then Steve spent the rest of the night alone until he forced himself to get to bed at a reasonable hour, all in preparation to tackle the next morning.

The rain was his only companion this late at night, and for once, it lulled him to sleep.

Chapter Text

The rain persisted into the morning, and brought in a chill with it.

Steve dropped June to school, opened up, and began working on a babka. The bakery smelled of cinnamon, sourdough, and the usual morning muffins, but it was all fading into the background for Steve. He needed to change the menu. Or take a vacation. 

Sam had been dropping hints to Steve about wanting him to visit, and Steve wanted so badly to take him up on the offer. It would be exactly what he needed, and June would have fun, too. Cass and A.J. always found their way over during those trips and they would all surely be out in the yard for most of the day, or up in the boys’ room at Sarah’s, and Steve would have some time to breathe and focus on nothing but spending some time with Sam, on seeing where the week took them. Thanksgiving was the perfect opportunity, but then again, how was he supposed to—?

The bell on the front door jingled, starling him from his thoughts. He wiped his hands on his apron as he walked back up to the front, only to feel his stomach drop the moment he did.

“Oh,” Steve said, voice still rough with fatigue. His throat was suddenly drier than before. “Hey, Bucky.”

Bucky was standing there with his hands in his pockets. His leather jacket was wet with rain and his hair was pulled up into a bun. He arched a brow at Steve’s frantic expression.

“Hey, you alright?” Bucky asked. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Steve shook his head, maybe too quickly, before trying to laugh it off. “No,” he said. “No, you didn’t. I guess I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”

“What, you didn’t think I’d come by to say anything?” Bucky asked. “I didn’t know you were actually bringing me eclairs, but Becca gave me the box right after you left. You slipped out before I could catch you, and you know, I would’ve come by to thank you yesterday, but once I saw how busy you were, I didn’t wanna bother you.”

So, Bucky watched him from outside. Steve wasn’t sure what to make of that. Should anything be made of it at all?

“You wouldn’t have bothered me. I mean, it was no trouble, anyway,” Steve said, heart beating a little faster. “Did they taste okay?”

Bucky smiled at the question. “I gotta tell you, Steve, I think it was your best batch so far,” he said. “Those things are dangerous. I even had one for breakfast this morning.”

That eased Steve’s worries, and he felt himself lighten with the words, the tension in his posture melting ever so slightly. Even though he prided himself on his good hand, Bucky’s compliment made him feel...sheepish. He was relieved his cheeks didn’t flare up at the compliment.

“Well, I enjoyed making ‘em,” Steve said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And if they were that good, maybe I’ll start pretending all my eclairs are for you. That should do the trick.”

It made Bucky laugh, quiet and low in his chest, eyes crinkling at the corners. Steve’s heart lurched at the sight. “You won’t hear me complaining,” Bucky said, and then it looked like he changed his mind on whatever he was going to say, taking a moment to watch Steve, eyes more grey than blue in the gloomy morning.

Of course, that was when a customer stepped in.

“I think I’ll get out of your hair,” Bucky said, still as warm as before, and already slipping out the door. “Don’t be a stranger, you hear me?”

Steve had no time to answer before Bucky was gone, jogging across the street to the diner. There was nothing left for Steve to do but attend to business, so he turned his attention to the customer browsing the display case and cleared his throat.

“Can I help you?” he asked as cheerfully as he could manage.

-

The rest of the afternoon was the same as any other, just the usual rush, then a few regulars, and finally, one big group that bought quite a bit of Steve’s wares. It left him with only two muffins, a croissant, and a loaf of sourdough in the display case, but it didn’t bother him much. He knew he wouldn’t waste any of it, especially since he took the last of the babka for himself when he left to pick June up.

By the time Steve did that, he kept the shop open until five o’clock on the dot and then immediately closed up. Upstairs, he and June ate garlic bread made from the sourdough loaf with their dinner, and was silently thankful he didn’t raise a picky eater. Well, in some ways he did. He couldn’t exactly blame anyone else for June preferring his cooking to anyone else’s, and on the bright side, it saved him the trouble of shelling out money for the perfect birthday cake every year when he could just make it himself.

There wasn’t much cleaning left to do save for tossing the trash out, so later that night, Steve did just that. The rain had finally stopped, but it left the damp cold behind in its wake. Steve wished he wore more than his thin t-shirt as the wind hit him, and he was prepared to head back upstairs before a sharp whistle stopped him in his tracks.

Bucky was coming down the sidewalk and straight for Steve, still wearing his apron. “Figured I’d catch you while you’re not busy,” he said. “And if I smell like mop water, go ahead and say it. I just finished closing up.”

Steve laughed, head ducking with it. “I’m nose blind to just about everything at this point,” he said. “If you smelled like a dead fish, I wouldn’t even know.”

Bucky’s smile broadened before it faded into something far more fond, in a way that made Steve’s chest twinge. “Look, I came over here because I got to thinking,” he said, far more serious than before. “I can’t not owe you after today. It’s gonna eat me up, Rogers.”

Steve waved him off, shaking his head. “Bucky, come on,” he said. “It’s...you don’t need to do that. Really, you don’t. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Yeah, and I want to do something nice for you,” Bucky said. “We can try to do something this week. When do you have some free time?”

Steve almost wanted to say never, but he wasn’t sure how true that statement was once he thought about it for more than a second.

The Brandt’s daughter had no issue babysitting June, especially since Betty only had to walk around the corner to get to Steve’s apartment, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if that would work out. Sure, she’d come over a few times, but his only other option was finding a new babysitter or asking Natasha. He wasn’t sure how late he’d be out, and sure, Natasha would say yes, but there was always the possibility she wouldn’t have time. Her job often demanded more time than expected from her, especially when it came to traveling. 

God, his stomach was already knotting itself up, but he’d weigh his options. He had the chance to actually be around Bucky without any interruptions, and for more than a few minutes. If there was no way to find a sitter, Steve would find a way to explain himself to Bucky. He could do this.

He could have this.

Steve chewed the inside of his cheek, and then he took a steadying breath. “Can I call you and let you know?” he asked. “It’s just that with June…” he suddenly felt nervous, like he did years back with anyone else who asked when he was free to spend time together, platonic or not. “I need a babysitter.”

Bucky’s smile, slow like honey, returned. “No, I get it,” he said. “Believe me, I do. Just say the word and let me know, huh? Whenever you have some time.”

Steve’s heart pounded still, even as Bucky reassured him. God, this could work. This could work. “Yeah,” he managed to say, keeping himself as composed as he could. It wasn’t a date. It was just possibly going somewhere with a friend, if that’s what he and Bucky were. Steve hadn’t done that in a while, either. “I’ll figure it out. Promise.”

“And don’t worry, I’m gonna find a spot for us,” Bucky said. “I have good taste. Hang on, let me just…” he reached into his pocket. “Here, put your number in. Feels kinda strange that I don’t know it at this point.”

Bucky handed him his phone, and after a moment of composing himself, Steve did exactly that, entering his number and then calling it for good measure before quickly hanging up and handing the phone back to Bucky. 

“All set,” Steve said, running his hand over his hair. “I should get back upstairs, but I’ll...I guess I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” Bucky repeated, pointing at him before heading back across the street, right for the motorbike parked in front of the diner. “And we’ll have fun, you got that, Steve?”

It echoed across the empty street, and Steve only waved before he turned and walked back upstairs, head spinning all the while. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a real night out. A night all to himself, no stress and no worry in his mind.

Steve unlocked the door and stepped back into the warmth of the apartment, feeling better than he did just a few minutes before.

-

The next morning, Steve found himself with a bit more energy than usual. A spring in his step as he went through the usual routine. Soon, he’d get in touch with Mr. Brandt and see if Betty had the time at all. He wasn’t going to let June’s needs slip to the back of his mind all because of one invitation to a night out.

Which, Steve reminded himself again, was not a date. Bucky was a friendly guy, as much as he liked to pretend he wasn’t. Well, maybe he was and just had a soft spot for a few select people, but did that mean Steve was one of them? It was too much to think about at the moment, and Steve hadn’t had enough coffee to even entertain such a possibility.

Once he had a moment of silence, he got to work and got in contact with the Brandts, but soon learned that Betty was out of town and wouldn’t be back for another week. Steve’s stomach twisted, but he swallowed his worries down. He still had plenty of time. He would figure it out, he just needed to stay calm.

He ran his hand over his eyes and dialed Natasha.

She picked up on the second ring. “Wow,” she said. “Long time, no speak.”

Steve sighed, partly in relief. “It’s only been three days,” he said. “I think.”

“Four,” Natasha clarified, not unkindly. “You sound half-asleep. You okay?”

“Fine,” Steve said. If it was too fast, Natasha didn’t say a word. “Nothing out of the ordinary. How are you?”

Steve could almost picture her knitting her brows together. “Fine,” she said slowly. “Same as usual. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m…” Steve drummed his fingers on the counter. “Look, you remember Bucky Barnes, right?”

“Bucky the diner guy?” Natasha asked. “Kind of greasy? Has a Mets cap perpetually stuck to his head?”

“He doesn’t always wear a Mets cap,” Steve argued weakly.

“My point is, yes, I know who you mean. Barely, but I remember him, ” Natasha said. “I just can’t help wondering what he has to do with any of this. Care to share?”

Steve wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. This was Natasha, someone who’d been with him through so much, who was such a big part of his and June’s life that he couldn’t consider her as anything else but family at this point. Like the sister he never had.

“He wants to go out this week,” Steve said, and then rushed to add, “Not like that. Just as friends, but June’s usual sitter is out of town, and…” he drummed his fingers against his hips. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Translation: you’re wondering if I can watch her while you go on a date with this guy,” Natasha said.

“It’s not a date, and I know it’s short notice,” Steve continued. “But whenever you’re free. If you’re free, that is. I figured it’s the weekend and that you wanted to relax—”

“Steve, are you kidding?” Natasha cut in, low and warm. “Of course it’s fine. She could even stay the night if she wants to. Not like she never has before.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked, and when he received the confirming hum from Natasha, he made himself breathe, eyes falling shut. “Would Saturday be okay?”

“Saturday works for me,” Natasha said. “Besides, I could use some Auntie Nat time. It’s a good break from reality.”

The smile could easily be heard in her voice. Steve wasn’t sure why he felt so light, so unspeakably relieved. He trusted Natasha with his life, and God, the comfort of having her so close by again was more than he could ever ask for. The time when both she and Sam were gone was a lonely one, and a time he never wanted to experience again.

“I can’t thank you enough, Nat,” Steve said, far more at ease than he was before. “I’ll drop June off after I close up.”

“I’ll pick her up,” Natasha said easily. “Gives me an excuse to come over and wish you luck.”

Steve released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, slow and steady. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. I’ll see you then. Thanks again, Nat.”

The call ended after their quick goodbye. She was getting started on her day, too. Whatever it entailed. The specifics of Natasha’s job had grown vague in the last few months.

All he had to do now was get in touch with Bucky. And that felt even more terrifying now, somehow. The vague plan formed on the street the night before was now becoming far more real, and as nervous as he was, the last thing Steve wanted was to keep Bucky waiting.

There was no doubt in his mind that Bucky was at work, because of course he was. His day began as early as Steve’s own, and was surely beginning to get busy from what Steve could tell by looking out the window.

He did his best to get a hold of himself as he fished his phone from his pocket. Bucky was the one who offered, wasn’t he? It wasn’t like Steve was bothering him. Maybe he was looking forward to Steve’s confirmation. Maybe his mind drifted to the thought of it when he opened up this morning and glanced across the street, the same way Steve’s did.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Steve dialed his number, heart in his throat. God, he was acting like a damn teenager over this. The thought made his cheeks burn with something like embarrassment.

Bucky answered after two rings. “Well, look who it is,” he said, sounding pleasantly surprised. “Good morning.”

“Morning, Buck,” Steve said. It was hard to hold his smile back, hand rubbing anxiously at the side of his neck. “You’re not busy, are you?”

“I’m actually on break,” Bucky answered, and when Steve listened closely, he could hear the rush of wind coming through the receiver. “So, you caught me at a good time. What’s going on?”

He sounded easy. Relaxed. Sure, Bucky was an easy-going guy, but Steve found him in a rush more often than not. For once, he didn’t seem ready to jolt upward at a moment’s notice and rush back to the diner.

“I called to tell you that June’s gonna be staying the night at my friend’s place this Saturday,” Steve said. “So, after five, I’m all yours.”

“All mine, huh?” Bucky asked, and Steve’s heart gave a funny little jolt at that, facing heating up at the tone of Bucky’s voice. “How’s seven o’clock sound?”

Steve had plans for once. Plans with Bucky, of all people.

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” Steve said. “That works just fine for me. Look,  I’m not gonna keep you for your entire break, so I’ll see you soon, Buck.”

“You will,” Bucky said. “Take it easy, Steve.”

And just like that, the call was over. Steve couldn’t help wondering how Bucky felt after hanging up. Surely, he couldn’t feel as light and airy as Steve did. He had more opportunities for free time, and maybe going out was normal for him. A way to decompress after a long day of work. Steve’s time to decompress usually involved watching a movie with June or just getting some sleep after an exhausting day.

He would have a break from that soon, and on Sunday, he’d take advantage of closing up early and take June to the park, take her out to Antonio’s like he always did when the weekend came to a close.

Steve knew she’d have fun with Natasha. She always did. For once, Steve had nothing to worry about, and as he went through the motions of the rest of his day, he swore to himself that he’d take as much advantage of that as possible.

-

The afternoon droned on, and Steve was relieved to be swamped in a way. He didn’t have any time to think about Saturday or Bucky and didn’t have to time to stress about it either. That only continued as he made his way to June’s school—in his car this time around—pulling into a safe spot and then navigating the familiar chaos before he finally got his eyes on her.

When June noticed him watching her, she left her little group behind in a flurry of hugs and ran over to Steve, braids whipping back behind her. “Dad!” she shouted as she got close. “Guess what? Guess what?”

“Woah, slow down,” Steve chuckled, pulling her close to his side. She fell into step with him and took his hand when he offered it. She seemed to be in as good of a mood as Steve. “What’s up?”

“Look!” she thrust a paper into his hand. “Can I go? Please?”

Steve stopped for a moment and scanned his eyes over it, finding it wasn’t just a piece of paper at all. It was an invitation for a Halloween party.

It was a folded sheet of purple construction paper bordered with glitter glue and stickers. To June, From Monica, it read. There was an address at the bottom, clearly written by Maria or Carol, along with a date and time.

“Wow,” Steve said, giving it another look before flashing June a quick smile. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Yup. See?” June answered, pointing at the date before she squeezed Steve’s hand in both of her own. “It’s gonna be after school and Cassie’s gonna be there, too. Can I go? Please?”

Steve pretended to think about it, humming before he answered. “Only if we wear matching costumes,” he teased. “You can be Dorothy and I’ll be the Tin Man.”

“Dad,” June giggled.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Steve said. He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “‘Course you can go. We’ll brainstorm on your costume soon and get it all figured out.”

“Really?” June said excitedly, and she was already hugging him tight around the waist. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. What do you think I should dress up as?”

Steve made sure he got her into the car, that she was buckled in as they talked, as June thought aloud and spouted off all her ideas before telling him about her day, her classes, how she wants to handle her homework herself tonight because she’s getting good at math, and somehow, that alone tugged at Steve’s heart painfully.

Sure, June was young, but she was as independent and headstrong as Steve was, and he knew that need for independence would only increase as she got older. She wouldn’t be seven forever, wouldn’t say Steve was one of her best friends forever, and even now, he knew he had to prepare himself for that.

“Hey,” Steve said after taking a slow breath. He desperately wanted to shake that spiral of pessimism off. “I know it’s been a while, but how do you feel about spending the night with Natasha this Saturday? She said she misses you a whole lot, you know.”

June caught his eye in the rear view mirror, and she was evidently still on the high of Steve saying yes to her attending the party. “Like a sleepover?” she asked.  “Like a sleepover,” Steve repeated. “That sound good to you?”

June nodded enthusiastically. “You think she’ll take me to the museum?” she asked. “We always go to a museum. And FAO Schwarz.”

“She just might, if you ask her nicely,” Steve said, and maybe that was just to pique her interest even further. A part of him hoped he wasn’t unwittingly signing Natasha up for more than she expected. “You two always have a lot of fun together.”

They made a stop to grab some new pajamas for June since she was already beginning to grow out of hers, and at home, ate leftovers for the final time. They would take a trip to the grocery store after closing time tomorrow. Steve and June both were running low on their preferred boxes of cereal, and there wasn’t much left for anything but breakfast and lunch, so it wasn’t like Steve could put it off for any longer.

Steve began his usual routine of double-checking the cleanliness of the apartment, of shutting off the lights and closing the curtains. This time around, he lingered by the window, watching a figure down below shut the blinds on the diner’s windows. From upstairs, Bucky was just a smudge of color and vague shapes as he moved about, but Steve tore his eyes away after a few seconds, fingers itching for a pencil.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” June asked, already coming close to see.

Steve shook his head. “Nothin’,” he said. “Want me to braid your hair back?”

“Can you use the blue hair ties?” June asked as Steve followed her to her room. “I want ‘em to match my PJ’s.”

And just like that, they were able to move on. Steve let his worries slip to the back of his mind, let himself fall into the rhythm of the rest of his routine, and when sleep finally took him, it was quick and heavy.

-

The next few days brought in the cold snap Steve had been expecting, and he found himself bundling June up more and more as he got her ready for school, wrapping the scarf Sarah had crocheted for her years back. Steve recalled telling her it would be too long for June, considering she was four years old and about forty pounds soaking wet, but all Sarah had done was give him a look and ask Steve if he actually expected June to be four for the rest of her life.

The colder weather brought more business in, and Steve didn’t have much available in the realm of things to drink. He had a coffee maker and some tea bags, but it did the trick just fine. June helped him with the minimal decorations around the bakery, pressing stickers onto the door and the display case as Steve put up a few other odds and ends. It was mainly just a few garlands made of artificial leaves, some pumpkins, but June seemed pleased with it, and Steve didn’t think it looked half bad.

The weekend soon rolled around, and as Steve dealt with the afternoon rush before him, keeping an eye on June in the corner, her suitcase at her feet as she colored at her usual table, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

He’d be out with Bucky in just a few hours. Hours. It didn’t feel like an impossible thought anymore. Steve wouldn’t be closing up and going upstairs for the rest of the night, but rather he’d be out on Saturday night for the first time in who knew how long.

He did his best not to think about it, getting back to work for a while. After the late afternoon rush, things finally calmed down, as they always did in that stretch of time before closing. It gave Steve some time to get his head together and he sat opposite June, cracking a bottle of water open and taking a long swig from it.

“You know,” June began without looking up. “I think I wanna work here, too.”

Steve almost choked, forcing himself to swallow. “Oh,” he croaked. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “Well, that’s...you’re still a kid, pal. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“But you did,” June argued. “Why can’t I?”

Steve crossed his arms over the table. “I worked in here because I needed something to keep me busy and your grandma needed an extra set of hands,” he said. “And on top of that, I wasn’t seven. I was twelve.”

“Okay, fine,” June said, then thought long and hard before meeting Steve’s gaze. “Can I ask again when I’m twelve?”

Steve huffed a quiet laugh, running his hand over his eyes. “Yeah, why not?” he said. “We’ll see if you even want to by then.”

“I will,” June insisted with a nod. “Cross my heart.”

Before Steve could say anything else, the bell on the front door chimed and Steve turned around in a rush, prepared to find a customer standing there, a greeting already on his lips, only to find himself relaxing as he stood up.

“Hi,” Steve said as he stepped closer. “I didn’t think you’d be here for a little while longer.”

“Well, what can I say?” Natasha asked, loosening her scarf. “Weekends get boring fast when you have nothing to do. Come on, Rogers, don’t just stand there staring. Bring it in.”

Her hair was windblown and her cheeks were red with the cold, made even more evident when she let Steve pull her in around the shoulders and her face pressed against his, like a damn ice pop. Apparently, that cold snap was coming in sooner than expected.

“Thanks again,” Steve said, just loud enough for her to hear. “I owe you, Nat.”

“No, you don’t,” Natasha reassured him, offering one final squeeze before she eased back. She tilted her head to June, smile brightening up in measures. “Hey, you. Miss me?”

“Nat!” June exclaimed, already abandoning her things in favor of running at Natasha and nearly knocking her down with the force of her hug. “Did Dad tell you I got invited to a Halloween party? I’ve been trying to figure out what costume I want for days.”

“Yeah?” Natasha said, and in the midst of her hug, she gave June’s french braid a glance and looked back at Steve, mouthing impressive. “You know, you can tell me all about your ideas on the ride back. Believe me, I’m good with costumes. Go ahead, grab your stuff and we’ll get to talking.”

There was a lot of chatter in those moments, the three of them talking as June gathered her things up and Steve promised he’d take her books and pencils upstairs. He hovered for a moment, and when June hugged him around the waist, he squeezed her close, leaning down to peck a kiss on her cheek.

“Call me if you need anything,” Steve told her as she nodded. “We just have the bridge between us if you need to come home.”

Natasha leaned in close. “That means he’s gonna miss you,” she stage whispered. “Don’t interrupt our girls night, Steve. And good luck with your—”

Steve shook his head quickly.

“...Night in,” Natasha said instead, arching a brow. “I’ll keep in touch. Promise.”

Steve walked them out, lingering in the doorway and watching as June turned around to wave one last time. He waved back before she and Natasha disappeared around the corner, and then he released a breath, scrubbed a hand over his hair, and stepped back inside.

All he could think to himself was, now what?

-

It turned out that a night alone was so rare he had no clue what to do with himself.

He cleaned up, taking what little remained in the display case and setting it in his own fridge upstairs. He left two loaves of bread to prove overnight, and then he showered, shaved the faint layer of scratchy stubble that grew in, and looked for something worth wearing in his closet, heart suddenly tight in his chest.

He suddenly worried that he would end up out of his element. What if Bucky brought along his own friends? What if he didn’t show up at all, or thought that Steve was making a big of a deal out of this entire thing? Sure, some of it was irrational, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t on his mind. He told himself it was just jitters and tried his best to ignore his own irrational thought.

He styled his hair and opted for neutral. Just a grey sweater and jeans with boots rather than sneakers. He’d be wearing a jacket over it all, anyway, so in some ways it didn’t matter, but despite not being one for going out, even before he had June, Steve hadn’t gotten ready to do anything in so long. How was he going to pass up the opportunity?

By the time everything was clean and he was fully ready, it was two minutes to seven, so he shrugged his jacket on, and headed downstairs, trying his hardest not to worry.

When he stepped out, Bucky was already standing at the curb out front. leaning against his bike with his head tilted down at his phone. He glanced up for a moment before doing a double take, a slow smile spreading over his lips and crinkling at the corners of his eyes.

“Hey, I was just about to call you,” Bucky said, pocketing his phone and coming closer. “Figured I’d let you know I’m here. And early.”

“By…” Steve checked his watch. “One minute,” he said, tilting his head. “I’m impressed.”

“What can I say? I’m a punctual guy,” Bucky said. The setting sun was painting him and the street around him in deep blues, and Steve made sure he didn’t stare for too long. “Shit, I forgot to ask. You don’t mind hopping on, right? It’s okay if you don’t. We’ll find another way.”

Steve glanced down at the motorbike, and a thrilled laugh pushed past his lips. He had his own license at one point, even planned on buying one for himself, but he just never got around to it. “Nope,” he said. “Not at all.”

Bucky nodded and retrieved a helmet for Steve, and then himself. Steve’s heart gave a little jolt. “And just in case you’re wondering,” Bucky said before he slid the thing on and climbed onto the bike. “I won’t get us killed. I swear.”

“I have faith in you,” Steve chuckled and after a moment’s hesitation, slid up behind Bucky and pulled the helmet on.

Steve slid his arms around Bucky’s waist, wide and strong beneath his hands, even through his jacket. His thighs pressed against Bucky’s, and God, this was the last thing Steve was expecting to happen. He assumed they’d walk around or take the subway, but Steve knew Bucky’s bike was his chosen mode of transportation most of the time. Why wouldn’t he take it?

“Okay,” Steve said, breath hot in the helmet. His hands instinctively tightened around Bucky’s middle as the engine growled to life. “Ready when you are.”

“Hold on tight, alright?” Bucky told him, voice vibrating through Steve’s insides as intensely as the engine.

Bucky didn’t take off in the rush Steve expected. Rather, he started off slow on their street, coasting past the diner and the bakery and turning the corner before he picked up speed and Steve held on even tighter, forcing himself to breathe. The sun had almost completely set, and the wind was beginning to whip at his body as Park Slope became a blur of color and light.

Steve exhaled slowly and focused on nothing but the road ahead.

Chapter Text

The rumble of the bike wasn’t so bad after a while, and the wind wasn’t so bad when Steve was mostly shielded against it by the broadness of Bucky’s back and the helmet snug around his own head. The world around them was suddenly a blur no longer, and as they came to another stoplight, Steve took it as an opportunity to speak.

“You know, I never asked,” Steve said over the noise. “Where are we going?”

“Just up ahead!” Bucky shouted back as he continued forward, eventually parking by the curb of a busy street. 

They weren’t too far from home. Steve knew Brooklyn back to front, and maybe he didn’t hang around Bed-Stuy that often, but he’d made enough deliveries in the area that it felt familiar. Bucky killed the bike and unzipped his jacket, and Steve took that as his cue to get off. It took only a moment, and all the while, he became aware of the stiffness in his legs, the way he now felt cold wherever he was pressed up against Bucky. He resisted the urge to cross his arms over his chest, instead tugging the helmet off and gulping down a breath of fall air.

Bucky’s helmet was already off when Steve looked up, tucked under his arm as he stood up and then hid it away. Wordlessly, Steve handed his own helmet over and Bucky locked them both up. Running his hand through his hair, he stepped closer.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, a small smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.

Steve nodded, and wasn’t sure if the sudden flush in his ears and his cheeks was heat coming back into his body or something else entirely. “Yeah,” he said, and Bucky’s smile was contagious, tugging at Steve’s lips as he followed the other man down the sidewalk. “Yeah, I’m good. Just cold.”

Steve wondered briefly if that was the wrong thing to say, but Bucky only nodded up ahead. “It’s pretty warm inside,” he said, and he pressed his hand, still gloved, to Steve’s back to guide him. “Come on.”

It was easy, letting himself be led forward, and soon enough, Bucky led him into the warmth of a dimly lit pub. It smelled of spilt beer and smoke, but it looked comfortable enough and the drinks looked cold. There were glasses sweating on the bar, on the high-top tables, in the hands of other patrons. The music was loud enough to drown out some of the endless chatter of the Saturday crowds, and a moment after Steve snapped back to reality, he and Bucky weaved through a few groups and snagged a booth parallel to the bar. An old stained glass lamp hung above their heads, yellow light catching on the glossy wood of the table, and Steve finally took his jacket off, pressing it into the corner of his seat as Bucky did the same.

“You come here a lot?” Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged. “Found it a couple years ago,” he said. “I don’t really know what your thing is, but I figured it was worth a shot.”

“Hey, I’m sure you have better taste than I do,” Steve said. “Not like I have a very extensive palette. It’s either dinner at home or pizza delivery.”

“Hopefully it’s from somewhere good,” Bucky said. “June doesn’t seem like a Pizza Hut kind of kid.”

Steve found himself breathing a quiet laugh. “I mean, she used to be,” he said. “But now, nothing but the best is good enough for her. One plus is she likes my food a lot more now.”

“Nothing wrong with having taste,” Bucky said. “You’re a damn good baker. It’s no wonder you can cook, too.”

“Yeah, well,” Steve said. “I wanted to work in a restaurant at one point, but I dunno, the bakery’s home. Just how it is. I’m far from a Michelin star chef, but I’m not bad.”

“Come on, don’t sell yourself short,” Bucky said, and he leaned across the table to lightly push at Steve’s bicep. “You’re good, Steve, and you don’t need to own some pretentious spot downtown to be the real thing.”

Steve tried not to flush under the compliment and the press of Bucky’s palm, tried not to think too much of it at all. “Thanks,” he said, and straightened up a little more. “But don’t sell yourself short. June doesn’t even think about sharing when you’re the one cooking in the back.”

Bucky crossed his arms. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Wouldn’t even let me get a bite,” Steve answered.

“So, maybe taking over for the old man is worth it after all,” Bucky joked. “And maybe one of these days I’ll make sure you get a plate all to yourself. I should have done that sooner rather than later, ‘specially since you made something for me.”

“I thought this was owing me,” Steve said, brows knitting together.

Bucky shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you got a night off.”

It was too kind. Said like Bucky thought of Steve a friend, like he wanted to look out for him, and maybe their dynamic could have been like that growing up, but life had begun so early for both of them and took them in such different directions for a while. Steve had plans while he was in school, and Bucky surely must have had some of his own before they ended up on their current paths.

At least they could make up for that now.

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked before Steve could say anything at all, and all he could do was nod before Bucky continued. “And I don’t mean nothing by it, but when was the last time you went out? Had a night to yourself?”

It was said in good faith, and with the way Bucky’s eyes scanned over him, it was almost like he was concerned, but it made Steve feel stripped to the bone. Exposed and bare for reasons he couldn’t place.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Steve said, breathing out. “A while. I guess I don’t think much of it, since it’s not like I feel held back or like I’m missing out. It’s just part of life for me, and I know I need a break. Believe me, I know. That’s why I came out tonight. I just feel bad passing my responsibilities to other people. Why should I make someone do all my work when I can just do it myself? It’s just—” he shook his head, shutting his eyes for a moment. “Sorry. That was...that was a lot. I didn’t mean to vent.”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s your life, Steve,” he said. “You think I don’t catch myself doing the same thing? I could tell you about all the stuff that drive me nuts, too, but you gotta give yourself time for something. Even if it’s us coming out here once a week and takin’ a breath together. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Ten minutes in and I feel like I’m already driving you up the wall,” Steve said, and his smile felt a little wry on his lips, bitter with humiliation. “You sure you want to keep up with that?”

“You really think you’re bothering me?” Bucky said. “I like talking to you, Steve. You’re real, through and through. Feels like we’re cut from the same cloth sometimes, you know? Maybe we weren’t close from the beginning, but I can’t think of a time you weren’t somewhere in the corner of my eye. Whether you were a little shrimp making deliveries to the back door, walking through the halls at school, or hell, drawing in one of the booths with June in a high chair while my ma tried to give you your lunch on the house. If we’re anything, we’re basically family at this point.”

Bucky was right. In many ways, and for many reasons, they were family.

The Barnes clan was one of the many who came by when Sarah passed away. Showed up to the house to make sure Steve wasn’t alone, and Rebecca had even offered to babysit while Steve ran the bakery and took care of funeral arrangements, one or a few of them slipping in during those small stretches of time when Sam and Natasha weren’t around, which they were. Constantly.

Bucky had shown up on his own a week after the burial and stuck around for a while, distracting Steve from his grief in a way Steve didn’t expect. He may not remember a lot of that visit, since he was still foggy with grief and exhaustion, but he thought about the steady hand squeezing his shoulder, the sight of him sitting cross-legged on the floor with June while she rolled a ball toward him.

Steve felt himself smile, even if it was a little wan at first, l with every word Bucky said, keeping his gaze on him. Cut from the same cloth, he thought. Was that really how Bucky saw it? A part of Steve faintly ached, made him wonder why they didn’t do this sooner.

“And if anything was a lot, it was that,” Bucky said, chuckling to himself. “But it’s true.”

The instinct to tilt his head down and hide the blush surely creeping up his throat was tempting but the pub was dim enough that Bucky wouldn’t notice. “I know,” Steve finally said, and leaned a little closer. “I feel like that myself, but I just wanna ask one question.”

Bucky waited, expression tipping into something serious.

“Did you really just call me a little shrimp?” Steve asked.

That broke whatever spell had fallen over them, and it had Bucky cracking up, leaning back into his seat. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” he laughed, loud even with the constant noise around them, hands raised before he stood up. “Most I can do right now is offer you a drink to apologize. Anything you want. Beer, shot of whiskey, whatever.”

Steve thought about it for a moment. “Surprise me?” he suggested.

That made Bucky grin. “I’m good at this,” he said. “Gimme a minute.”

And then he disappeared. Absently, Steve watched the TV, barely paying attention to the basketball game on the screen as he tried to quell his nerves, but what was there to be nervous about? He enjoyed Bucky’s company just fine and God, he was so easy to talk to. There was no discomfort, nothing to worry about, and Steve told himself that over and over until Bucky returned with glasses held in either hand.

“So,” Bucky said, setting one down beside Steve. “I was a little stumped trying to find something for you, but try this. Tell me what you think.”

It was a short glass garnished with a skewered cherry and a lemon wedge, a table napkin stuck under it, exactly the same as Bucky’s. Steve lifted it and took a sip, immediately tasting the strong, familiar bite of whiskey, which very much wasn’t among his favorites, but it was smoother this way, sweet and sour on his tongue and undoing the tension of the day that twisted into his muscles.

“Wow,” he said, watching Bucky take a sip of his own.

“Whiskey sour,” Bucky said. “What do you think?”

“Whiskey’s not my choice drink,” Steve said, already feeling a little better. “But I like it. A lot.”

Bucky’s smile was smug. “What’d I tell you?” he said, and raised his glass. “Cut from the same cloth.”

Steve mirrored him and clinked their glasses together.

-

After a while, after they had a basket each of fries and cheese curds between them, Steve sent a quick text to Natasha, just to check in, and received only a photo in reply, which was June having some sort of stare off with Liho, Natasha’s fuzzball of a cat. He smiled to himself and hid his phone away.

“Everything okay?” Bucky asked before taking a swig from his glass.

At one point, he switched to Guinness and Steve took a gamble on a cider, which wasn’t as bitter as a beer and tasted more like pears than anything else, leading to him having another glass. He didn’t want to get drunk, just feel good, and Bucky had to get him home eventually, so it was better if they kept it light. If they’d walked somewhere, Steve had a feeling the night would have gone very differently.

“Yeah, just…” Steve shook his head. “June’s at my friend’s place, and I was just checking in. She’s having the time of her life, luckily. I’m just glad she’s okay with being away from me these days. She had a whole phase where she wouldn’t let me out of her sight, but that was, man, a while back. Right when she started first grade. I was so scared she wouldn’t get over it.”

“Thea went through a phase like that,” Bucky said. “Right after Nora was born, so she was about six. She wouldn’t even let my ma leave the room. You got to know her once she was over all that. You should’ve seen her before. Feels like I’m the one who had three kids sometimes.”

Steve tilted his head. “So, you get what I’m talking about,” he said.

Bucky gave him a look. “Steve,” he said with feeling. “The amount of diapers I changed, the bottles I’ve made, how much hair I’ve braided? I lost track. Believe me, Steve. I know all about raising girls. Only difference is June’s a great kid, and my sisters were a bunch of brats.”

“Come on,” Steve laughed. “Were they that bad?”

“Oh, I got stories,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Plenty, and they’d rip me apart if they knew I told a single one.”

Bucky only rattled off a few, mostly about the younger girls, but there was one about the month long debacle of he and Rebecca sharing a room at the ages of sixteen and thirteen respectively thanks to their aunt and uncle temporarily moving in.

“I thought I could throw a punch back then,” Bucky said before taking a swig of his beer. “Becca was like a bullet. Got me right in the gut before I knew what was happening. All that because I teased her over this guy she was talking to her friend about, next thing I know she’s blubbering all over me telling me not to say anything to anyone. I told her I was just glad she knew how to defend herself.”

Of course, all three of Bucky’s sisters were now grown. Thea had been working with the rest of the family since she’d gotten her degree in computer science at Brooklyn College, and Nora was the youngest (or the surprise baby, as Bucky called her), finally beginning to take a look at schools with her mind on nursing.

It was nice, listening to him. Bucky knew how to tell a story. His voice was booming as he talked over the noise of the bar, and his expressions, the way he talked with his hands, it just made Steve want to hear more and more.

The night continued on, and eventually, the food was gone and their glasses were drained, and Steve kept expecting conversation to run dry, but it never happened, switching from family, to a few stories they both remembered in drastically different ways, an incident in elementary school in which Steve threw himself at some kid for reasons he couldn’t recall, and anything else that came across his and Bucky’s radar.

Eventually, they paid and left. Bucky had sneakily managed to cover the check while Steve was in the bathroom, and on the street, Steve tried to dig into his wallet with slightly stumbling fingers, the few drinks he had leaving him feeling loose, just teetering over to tipsy.

“Put that thing away already,” Bucky said. “If it makes you feel any better, you can buy next time, just quit waving your money around.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Steve said. “You’re bossy, you know that?”

“Guilty as charged,” Bucky said. “You need to pick June up soon?”

“She’s staying the night,” Steve said, then straightened up. “But I, if you need to get back...”

Bucky shook his head, expression unreadable before it turned to something like fondness. “Nope,” he said. “I’m in no rush. Don’t need to be anywhere but here.”

The sky rumbled, vibrating deep in Steve’s chest. A cold drop of rain fell onto the back of his head, and that coupled with Bucky’s quiet curse chased any possible answers straight out of his mind.

“Let’s at least get close to home and stick to walking from there,” Bucky said, eyes on the sky before they turned to Steve. “Trust me, riding around on this thing in a storm isn’t fun.”

“I dunno,” Steve said. “You seem like you can handle it.”

Bucky huffed a laugh through his nose. “I think that kinda thing only happens in action movies,” he said. “I look like the action type to you?”

Steve hummed as he mulled it over. “I mean, I see it,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a bad look. I think the leather and the bike hammers it in.”

Bucky’s smile turned crooked, more of a smirk than anything else, and he shook his head before he retrieved the helmets. “I’ll take it,” he said, handing one to Steve. “Come on, hotshot. Before we get soaked.”

The wind had turned from cool to downright bitter, and Steve found himself holding onto Bucky a little tighter than before, chasing after the heat of his body. Bucky’s back was tense with the cold, braced against it as the rain began to fall, whipping at their bodies as they got closer to Park Slope and Steve soon recognized the streets around them. He was relieved for the helmet, that at least his head was dry, but the alcohol still coursing through his body left him feeling softer around the edges, like these things didn’t really matter. It was nice, not worrying for once.

Bucky parked the bike behind the diner, hiding the helmets away and then leading Steve to the front. It left them looking at the bakery and Steve’s own apartment. After a moment, Steve turned away, keeping his eyes on Bucky, who was digging into the inside pocket of his jacket, now fully unzipped.

“You mind?” Bucky asked, shaking his pack of cigarettes.

“Doesn’t bother me,” Steve said, and Bucky shook a cigarette out a moment later, lighting it and cupping his hand over the flame. Steve wished he had the nerve to do it for him.

“Don’t pick it up,” Bucky said. He blew a flume of smoke out from the corner of his mouth. “Worst habit I’ve ever had. I think I quit five times in the last two years.”

“Couldn’t if I wanted to,” Steve said, pulling his inhaler from his jacket’s inside pocket. “Asthma.”

Bucky shut his eyes with a slow sigh. “Steve,” he said. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“It’s not as bad as it used to be,” Steve countered, hands raised. “Look, I mean it. It doesn’t bother me. Go ahead and smoke.”

“I’m not that much of a jerk,” Bucky said, taking a final drag. He tossed the smoke into the road, and the burning ember of it died in a puddle. “Sorry. I know some kids grow out of it, and I guess I thought that was the case for you.”

The rain was picking up, turning from a drizzle to a shower as thunder rumbled all over again. “It’s only a problem if I let it become a problem,” he said. “But I know how to care of it, and I just didn’t wanna be that guy.”

“Next time, just say so,” Bucky said, and Steve was surprised to feel him nudge his ribs gently. It left Steve feeling lighter all over again. “I don’t bite.”

Another roll of thunder, and this time, it came with a gust of wind. The rain all seemed to come down at once, hammering down on their heads and roaring in Steve’s ears.

“Son of a bitch,” Bucky said over the downpour. “You should get upstairs. Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna wait this out inside and head home.”

“Are you crazy?” Steve argued. “Just come up, Bucky, it’s no big deal. At this rate, you’ll end up sleeping in one of the booths for the rest of the night.”

They were wet to begin with, but now, they’d gone from damp to sopping wet. Bucky’s hair was plastered to his head, and Steve’s own was leaking into his eyes, rivulets of water coursing down his nose and his chin. The rain was going right through his jeans.

“Yeah, alright,” Bucky said, and then they were crossing the street a moment later. Steve dug for his keys as they huddled under the awning, searching for the right one. “Shit, Steve, I’m gonna drip all over your place.”

“Yeah, well, so am I,” Steve said, and let them both inside with a rush of cool, dry air. “Come on, it’s just up here.”

Bucky’s heavy footsteps fell in unison with Steve’s, and at the top of the stairs, Steve turned the corner and opened the door. He set his keys down on the hook beside it and immediately began pulling his boots off, grimacing at the feeling of his damp socks stuck to the bottom of his foot. As he hung his jacket up, Bucky stepped inside to do the same, soon making quick work of his own boots.

“Jesus,” Bucky said. “You’re soaked.”

Steve only shrugged against the chill worming into his bones. “You can use the shower if you want, it’s down the hall and to the left,” he said. “There’s a clean towel on the hook, and I’ll just throw your clothes in with mine if you leave ‘em by the door.”

Bucky opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. “I feel like I smell like a wet sock, anyway,” he joked, a slight smile pulling at his lips. “Thanks, Steve.”

That alone warmed Steve right up.

All he could offer was a smile in return, and then Bucky was headed down the hall, disappearing into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Steve took a breath, hands on his hips, and shut his eyes for a moment.

When he straightened up, he peeled his sweater off, which was as wet as the rest of him. He headed toward the small corner containing the washer and dryer, and almost tripped over the pile of clothes by the bathroom door. Bucky’s undershirt, his flannel, his jeans, and his socks were dark with rain water, and Steve tried not to pay attention to the sound of shower running as he picked up the pile and threw it into the washer along with his own clothes. He pulled a fleece robe he rarely ever wore on when he stepped into his room, and then he began searching through his drawers.

It took a minute to find something of his that would fit Bucky. He was more built than Steve was, with a broad back and wide shoulders, a strong waist and thighs. All Steve had was a barely worn sweatshirt that was too big when he’d first bought it, that and a pair of pajama bottoms would work just fine.

By then, the shower was shutting off and Steve found himself freezing in place with the folded clothes in his hands. He forced himself to step forward despite it. Suddenly, the awareness of Bucky being in Steve’s apartment, using his shower, became far more obvious than before.

He cleared his throat and knocked on the door. “Hey, Buck?” he said, hoping Bucky didn’t hear the strain in his voice. “I’m just leaving some clothes here for you.”

Steve almost jumped out of his skin and almost dropped the clothes when the door opened and Bucky stood in the gap of it in nothing but his boxers. He smelled like Steve’s body wash, and his hair was slicked back against his head, a few strays falling over his forehead. Steve tried not to stare at any of it. Not his eyes, not his throat, not the dark, heavy trail of hair trailing from his chest to his stomach and even further down below.

Steve felt very much bare under his robe.

Bucky’s hand reached out, warm as it brushed against Steve’s, and he took the clothes. “Thanks,” he said, utterly calm, like he wasn’t almost completely naked himself. “I’ll be another second and then it’s all yours.”

With that, he shut the door, and Steve made himself walk away, willed his heart to stop beating so quickly. It didn’t mean anything. Steve was helping out a friend, and he shouldn’t have been looking, anyway, but why the hell did Bucky open the door? Better yet, why didn’t Steve just set the clothes down and walk away?

The bathroom door opened and Bucky emerged, damp hair tied back into a bun. Steve gathered his own clothes, and all but made a beeline for the shower, stepping past Bucky and only remembering to speak as he shut the door.

“Be right back,” Steve said, stiff.

In the shower, the hot water chased away the cold that had burrowed into his muscles, and as much as Steve wanted to stay under the spray, he didn’t linger for long. He was soon stepping out and changing into a t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He sent another text to Natasha, saying he was going to bed but to let him know if she or June needed anything. It wasn’t technically a lie. Steve would go to bed at some point, but he still felt like he was keeping a secret by not mentioning Bucky’s presence.

Natasha only replied saying that June was already asleep, and she wasn’t far off herself. Steve tried to breathe. There was nothing to worry about, not there and certainly not here in the apartment.

He stepped out and after turning the washer on, came into the living room, where Bucky was sitting on the couch and checking his phone.

“I checked the weather. Looks like it’s gonna storm all night,” he said, raising his eyes to Steve. “Ain’t stopping until eight in the morning.”

Steve tried to relax. What was going on with him? He’d just spent hours with Bucky, so what was a few more? Where had the comfort gone?

He did his best to push back against it and sat down on the sofa beside him. “Look, it’s up to you,” Steve said. “But I don’t mind if you stay. I don’t mind taking the couch.”

Bucky shook his head, and Steve almost expected him to turn down the invitation, to say he’d just stick it out and go home once the rain slowed down. “I can take the couch,” Bucky said. “I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed, Steve. You’ve done enough. More than enough.”

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Bucky continued, reaching forward to briefly press a hand to Steve’s shoulder. “And hey, if I’m gonna be here all night,” Bucky said. “Guess that means we gotta find something else to do.”

So, he didn’t mind staying. In fact, he wanted to stay. He wanted more of Steve’s company.

If they had more time together, why not take advantage of it? They both wanted a night off, and it seemed like they were getting one.

“We could watch a movie,” Steve offered. “I think I have a few bags of popcorn left.”

Bucky watched him for a moment, and he tilted his head. “You know, it’s almost Halloween,” he said. “You up for something scary?”

Steve didn’t necessarily watch horror movies often, mostly because he had a seven year old daughter and partly because he didn’t necessarily love them himself. They never failed to make him jumpy. He recalled the movie nights with Sam and Natasha at their shared apartment, how he and Sam were the only ones who stood up watching sitcoms with the lights on to avoid even thinking of little demon girls barfing pea soup and spinning their heads around in circles. Natasha only shrugged off the dirty looks thrown her way the next morning.

“I draw the line at terrifying,” Steve said. “But why not?”

The rain droned on. Steve made popcorn and dumped it into a large bowl while Bucky browsed through everything Netflix had to offer. By the time Steve returned, setting the bowl of popcorn in the empty spot between Bucky and himself, Bucky was queuing something up. Steve raised an eyebrow at The Blair Witch Project.

“You ever see this one?” Steve asked, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Not yet,” Bucky asked. “But I think it’s just one of those movies, you know? You watch it just to say you did.”

Steve snorted. “That doesn’t sound like a good way to go in,” he said.

“Come on,” Bucky said, giving Steve a nudge. He was touchy, and Steve knew that, but he was growing far more easy with doling those touches out, which was entirely new. “Low expectations make any movie good. Believe me, I’ve seen a lot of stinkers and this is how I enjoy ‘em.”

He reached over and flicked the lamp off, leaving them in the darkness with only the glow of the TV for company. Bucky mirrored Steve and put his feet up, ankle nearly, nearly brushing against Steve’s own.

-

Steve couldn’t say the movie scared him as much as it creeped him out, and if he was feeling a little jumpy as he walked down the hall to switch the laundry, who was going to notice, anyway? The ending had gotten under his skin because it was late and stormy, and the apartment’s hallways were a little shadowy.

Impulsively, they queued up another movie. More found footage, apparently, but it didn’t capture Steve’s attention in the same way, and it evidently didn’t grab Bucky’s either, because they’d fallen back into conversation throughout most of it, only paying attention when something mildly scary happened, and once Steve had returned to the dryer to grab their things, he heard Bucky switch back to cable.

Steve folded their things and set everything in the laundry basket for the moment. Bucky wouldn’t need his clothes until the morning, and with the rain persisting on, he didn’t seem to be leaving until then, either.

Checking his watch, Steve was surprised to find it was a little past midnight. He didn’t usually stay up this late, mostly to make sure he got enough sleep to get through the following day, but he didn’t open until eleven on Sundays, so a late night wouldn’t hurt. Besides, Steve was having fun. He didn’t want to pass such an opportunity up.

When he came to sit down again, he felt Bucky’s eyes follow him all the while, even as he sat down. “What happened to the movie?” Steve asked, curious.

Bucky shrugged one shoulder. “Not my thing,” he said, a teasing smile spreading over his face. “And I don’t know if you noticed, but I had to wake you up a few times.”

“What?” Steve burst out. “When?”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Bucky chuckled. “I was on my way there myself. Wasn’t that great, if I’m being honest.”

Steve sighed. “Sorry,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face. “I didn’t...I don’t usually stay up this late.”

“Go ahead and get some sleep if you want to,” Bucky said, reassuring and utterly gentle. “I’m good over here.”

At least going to bed meant having some measure of control over falling asleep. The last thing he wanted to do was fall asleep on Bucky and invade his space, but he couldn’t just leave, could he? Bucky seemed like a night owl, though at the same time, maybe he wanted to get some rest, too. They’d been talking for hours, and if it was wearing Steve out, it could have had the same effect on Bucky.

It was one of the reasons Steve hesitated to leave the room. Talking to Bucky was turning out to be the easiest thing in the world. His relaxed energy was contagious. It felt like they’d been this way, constantly close and talking themselves sore, for years. 

Steve shook his head once. “I can tough it out for a while longer,” he said. “Unless you want me to get out of your hair.”

“No way,” Bucky told him, and it was his turn to shake his head then. “You won’t catch me complaining about having you around.”

For a moment, the air was still. All Steve could hear was the rain pattering against the windows and the low, low volume of the TV. The light of it flickered over Bucky’s face, casting him in bluish shadows. Once again, Steve’s fingers itched for movement, but he wasn’t sure if that was because he wanted to sketch the other man out in deep, dark charcoals, or reach out and touch the real thing. Feel his skin against his own. The scrape of his beard against his palm.

Before Steve could even think to chide himself, to tell himself that his relationship with Bucky wouldn’t be anything like that, a set of calloused fingers curled loosely around his wrist.

“Steve,” Bucky said. “You still with me?”

A small smile curled at the corner of his mouth as he spoke, and he searched Steve’s gaze, as if to see if he was on his way to drifting off again, but that wasn’t possible now. With the touch to his skin, Steve suddenly felt wide awake.

“Yeah,” Steve murmured after what felt like forever. “Yeah, I’m with you.”

Bucky didn’t let go, thumb tracing little circles into the jut of Steve’s wrist. It was hard to look away from him, to stop staring. Steve never really had the opportunity to do so before, just steal a look every so often, but Bucky didn’t appear to be stopping him. Maybe he didn’t want to.

“Good,” Bucky said, low and suddenly gravelly. “Keep it that way.”

And then his hand slowly slid upward. 

He traced from Steve’s wrist to his forearm, to the bend of his elbow and up his bicep. He lingered over his shoulder and Steve tried to keep his breathing steady through it as Bucky’s hand moved over his neck, and then finally, to Steve’s cheek. He thumbed over it the same way he did his wrist as the heat of his palm bled into Steve’s skin. His touch was sturdy. Strong, but undeniably gentle in a way that made Steve’s throat tighten.

“Buck,” Steve managed to say. He was frozen in place, unable to do anything but soak in the touch. “Bucky.”

“You want me to stop?” Bucky asked, not unkindly. Steve knew that if he said yes, Bucky would ease his hand away and they’d never speak of it again, but the thought of that almost made Steve feel sick, like his heart was turning to a husk.

Steve swallowed thickly. “No,” he said, “God, no.”

Nothing happened. Bucky searched his face, a hunger in his eyes that wasn’t there before. His gaze drifted down to Steve’s mouth, and all Steve could do was nod, breath caught in his throat.

That was all it took. Bucky closed the little distance between them and Steve’s head swam the moment he felt hot breath against his mouth, eyes fluttering closed as Bucky’s lips pressed against his own in a slow kiss. It was far from hesitant, intentional in its gentleness. Bucky’s hand cupped his jaw, and Steve finally found the strength to move, grabbing onto Bucky’s bicep as he melted into the kiss.

It didn’t last long. It was surprisingly chaste, but it settled some growling, lonely thing in Steve’s chest. Months, years, of trying not to think about any of this and now look where he was. Neither of them were drunk, neither were unaware or unsure of their actions. Bucky was clear and alert and kissing him, and Steve felt like the world was tipping on its axis.

Bucky pulled away with a soft sound of their mouths, nose bumping against Steve’s. It seemed like he couldn’t stop touching, and Steve was quickly following suit in that, hand sliding from Bucky’s arm to his shoulder, feeling the thick corded muscle there, the warm skin of his neck and the dampness of his hair the further he ventured up.

Steve felt intoxicated as his eyes opened, heart in his throat. Bucky’s eyes were all but burning a hole through him, breath fanning over Steve’s face. “You have no idea,” Bucky muttered. “How long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

The laugh that pushed its way out of Steve might have been a little hysterical, but he didn’t care. “I think I do, actually,” he said, dazed with it. “I really think I do.”

“Come on,” Bucky all but groaned, smiling in a way that seemed utterly relieved. “Don’t tell me that. Come on.”

“Sorry, but it’s true,” Steve said. “I can’t remember a time I didn’t feel like this.”

Maybe Steve didn’t understand why Bucky’s presence made him so nervous when he was young, but he’d long since come to terms with his attraction and tried his best to ignore it. Up until now, of course. Bucky had felt so unattainable before, but all it took was an evening together, one kiss to knock that thought right out of Steve’s head.

“So, what’s that say about us, huh?” Bucky asked, chuckling. “We’re both a couple of idiots who didn’t just bother saying anything?”

“I wanted to, once,” Steve said. “Remember when I ran into you at Metropolitan?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered over him for a moment. “So why didn’t you?” he asked.

Steve sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I was...I was nervous. I kept telling myself that just because you weren’t straight either didn’t mean you were interested, and then I was wondering if you were even out to anyone in your family and didn’t do anything because I wasn’t sure, but I think I was just scared of blowing it, Buck. Nobody seems to want a guy with a kid, and I dealt with that so often it just made it impossible for me to say anything to you.”

“Steve,” Bucky said, exasperated, but it was less at Steve and more at the words that spilled from his mouth. He came closer and Steve did the same, aware of the hand slipping into his hair. “Look at me. Those guys, whoever they were, they were assholes. You’re, God, look at you. You’re not even thirty and you’ve got things that people only dream of having. You’re raising an amazing kid on top of it, and you did it all on your own. I know it wasn’t easy, but don’t think I would ever turned you down because of any of it.”

Steve said nothing, mostly because he couldn't speak at all.

“If it makes you feel any better, the whole family knows I’m bi,” Bucky continued. “Have for a couple years now, but I think Rebecca and my ma have been onto me liking you for a while.”

It helped Steve relax, just a little. “I think Becca figured out how I felt the minute I brought a gift over for you,” he said, then gave Bucky a look, brows knitted together. “You didn’t suspect anything because of that?”

Bucky watched him for a moment, sucking on his teeth. “I did,” he said, teasing. “But then I thought that sounded conceited.”

“Bucky,” Steve laughed, quiet and stunned.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Bucky said, thumb stroking over Steve’s cheekbone all the while, unbelievably tender. “I know.”

With that, he kissed Steve again. Slower and deeper than before. Bucky’s movements were more precise, and this time, Steve was able to drink all of it in this time, and didn’t want to miss any details. The scratch of Bucky’s beard, the smell of soap and smoke on his skin, and the steadiness of his hands, all but holding Steve together as the kiss further intensified.

Steve hummed into it, hands sliding up Bucky’s chest just as Bucky pulled him closer, hands tight on Steve’s hips.

“This okay?” he murmured, hot against Steve’s mouth.

All Steve could do was nod, breath caught in his throat. It had been too long since he’d been with anyone, the last time being years ago and an unmemorable blur. The sweet, heady rush flowing through his veins was new. The way his heart pounded with anticipation was new, and Steve’s head swam with it.

“Wait,” Steve said, just before Bucky could lean back in.

Bucky stopped, touches becoming lighter in a matter of seconds, but the last thing Steve wanted was for him to let go. Bucky searched Steve’s expression in the dark, waiting for more without saying anything at all.

“I was just gonna say,” Steve began, wound tight with anticipation. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted from Bucky, even with the want slowly simmering in the core of his stomach. “Maybe we should go in my room.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, breathy as he nodded. “Maybe.”

With that, Steve rose on slightly weakened legs and began the slow walk out of the living room. Bucky was still touching him, hands back on his hips, and fingertips firm on Steve’s skin all the while.

A moment later, they were in Steve’s bedroom and Bucky was shutting the door with a quiet click. The bedside lamp was on, soaking the room in its soft light and Steve didn’t even consider shutting it off. He wanted to see Bucky as much as he wanted to feel him, to watch every expression flicker across his face and watch every direction his hands chose to go.

Their movements were far from frantic. Rather, they were without hurry. Bucky was undemanding, letting his hands roam as the kiss picked up again, and Steve’s touches were more tentative than anything as he got started. His heart seemed to be beating through his hands, and his skin crawled with want. For what, he wasn’t sure, but he knew he needed Bucky close. He needed his hands and the press of his body, the heat of his breath and his gravelly voice in Steve’s ear.

That, of course, was when Bucky chose to ask exactly that. His movements were languid, holding the undercurrent of a sweetness that made Steve’s heart swell. “What do you want?” he asked. “C’mon, Steve, no shame in tellin’ me.”

He punctuated it with another kiss, one that made Steve suddenly feel so needy, shivering at the gentle hold Bucky had on his nape. “I don’t know,” Steve whispered, and he found himself huffing a laugh. “Christ, I have no clue. My head’s just…”

“Spinning?” Bucky finished, and Steve could feel his crooked grin against his lips. “Me too.”

His fingers had slid up into Steve’s hair, rubbing lightly against his scalp and God, it just felt nice to be touched for once, to feel himself come alive under the path of Bucky’s hands. He’d barely let himself think about anything like it before. It felt wrong to even fathom it before tonight. 

The night he’d seen Bucky at the bar sat close with a stranger years back, eyes dark with want and hand trailing down toward his thigh, Steve couldn’t stop himself from imagining just that later on in the shower, wondering what would have happened if he’d come alone and found Bucky there at the pool table, basking in dim, red light, wondering if Bucky would give him that same look but he’d made himself stop before he got too far, telling himself to leave it be.

Now, those eyes and those hands were on no one but Steve, drinking him in and leaving Steve reeling. “Why don’t we make it up as we go?” Bucky continued, pulling Steve out of his stupor. “See where it takes us.”

A knot deep in Steve’s chest began to unravel and as he nodded, he leaned forward, hands becoming a little more sure as they roamed upward, back at Bucky’s shoulders. This kiss felt deeper, darker, and Steve was unable to stop the second shiver rolling through his body. All he could do was part his lips and then Bucky’s tongue was pressing in, leaving Steve relieved that the bed was right below him as his knees buckled. He kept his balance for only another moment, until Bucky eased him back and onto the pillows.

Making it up as they go. Steve could definitely do that.

He craned his neck up for a kiss, and Bucky met him with the same fervor, chest pressing down against Steve’s. The weight of his body felt steady, solid against Steve’s own, and Steve couldn’t help wanting him even closer, thighs spreading open to make that happen. With his knees braced at Bucky’s hips, it was easy to get lost in it all, in the press of Bucky’s mouth, the heat of his breath, the steady strength of his hands roaming all over Steve and sliding up under his shirt. His hips twitched upward of their own volition, and that only left him pushing up against Bucky, who was fully hard against Steve’s thigh.

It had a barely stifled moan slipping past his lips, enough to break the kiss and leave Steve’s heart racing. He felt himself aching suddenly, tingling with more need than before, cock pressed up against his stomach.

“You wanna take this any further?” Bucky asked, and when Steve looked up, he found his eyes all but blown dark, only a thin ring of color remaining.

The question alone left Steve on fire all over again. His heart pounded hard, anticipation winding him up from head to toe. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “You said make it up as we go, right?” 

The look Bucky gave him wasn’t one Steve expected. He thought he’d give him another one of those wolfish grins, but even though his eyes crinkled at the corners, the look on his face was open and adoring. It made Steve feel like something precious, somehow. Something coveted.

Bucky hummed in agreement. “C’mere,” he murmured, lips brushing against Steve’s as he spoke.

From there, their movements felt more heated. Far from rushed, but they were purposeful. Bucky’s touches were intoxicating, going to Steve’s head even more than the few drinks he’d had before, and then he pulled back to tug Steve’s borrowed sweatshirt over his head, tossing it to the edge of the bed and as overwhelmed as he was, Steve tried to take it all in at once.

Bucky was, like Steve expected, all broad shoulders and a broader chest. Steve could better see it now, see the dark thatch of hair, and didn’t feel embarrassed as he let his gaze slip down that trail and commit his body to memory. The softness around Bucky’s hips and his stomach made Steve ache, and when he reached forward, he felt the faint ridges of stretch marks around Bucky’s side, barely visible in this light, but so easy to feel. Steve wanted to keep tracing over them. He wanted to feel everything.

He sat up to toss his own shirt away, and then Bucky’s hands were immediately back on him, roaming up Steve’s chest to ease him back down against the bed, and Steve couldn’t help but follow the movement, lying back and watching Bucky all the while.

“God, look at you, baby,” Bucky whispered. His mouth was trailing from Steve’s to his chin, to the tender skin beneath his jaw. “You’re like a work of art."

Baby. Just hearing it on his lips was enough to set Steve on fire, and his blood burned molten hot in his veins, lower lip caught between his teeth as Bucky moved even further down, kissing over Steve’s throat, his collarbones, the center of his chest. He couldn’t help grabbing at the taut skin of Bucky’s back, legs tightening around him. He only lost his grip as Bucky moved down Steve’s chest. He dragged his teeth gently over Steve’s stomach and looked up from under his brows in a way that made Steve’s desire turn to pure and utter need. His breath stuttered in his chest despite how hard he’d tried to steady it, cock straining against his stomach as Bucky’s fingers curled against the waistband of his pants and his briefs, then tugged both down and off.

His eyes met Steve’s as he slipped out of his own clothes, abandoned with the rest. Now, Steve could truly see everything. His thighs were strong, his cock heavy and dark and hard between them. Steve wanted all of him. However Bucky would have him.

Bucky lowered himself down again, leaving hot, lingering kisses on the inside of Steve’s thigh and holding each in a grip Steve didn’t want to escape from. He needed Bucky’s hands, needed his mouth back on his own, needed—

“Oh,” Steve gasped, broken as his head tilted back.

Bucky had licked a stripe up the length of Steve’s cock, quickly replacing it with his hand and stroking him slowly, grip firm and sure and leaving Steve’s hips twitching upward. He came to loom over Steve, propped up on one elbow and keeping his eyes on him, gaze setting Steve ablaze.

“‘S like I said,” Bucky said. “Work of art.”

His thumb circled over the head of Steve’s cock, slick with pre-come, and Steve couldn’t help thrusting up into the tight circle of Bucky’s fingers. When he leaned down to kiss Steve, searing and a little sloppy, Steve kissed back like a drowning man, making a muffled sound into it as his hands searched for purchase at Bucky’s shoulders.

“Buck,” Steve managed to say, right up against his mouth. “Hey."

He only hummed in response and let Steve break away to continue, still continuing his slow, endless strokes and turning Steve’s brain to mush.

Steve swallowed thickly, heart in his throat. “There’s slick in the closet,” he said hoarsely. “Top shelf behind the shoebox.”

Bucky’s gaze was suddenly hungry, rife with anticipation even as he eased his hand off of Steve. “Yeah?” he asked, as roughly as Steve, and it sounded like he was asking more than that, searching Steve’s face for more.

Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured. There was a new undercurrent of excitement to this, and his head was spinning all over again.

The smile Bucky gave him was downright devilish, and he stole one more kiss before he stood up. Steve used it to his advantage, pulling the blanket back and then settling himself more comfortably on the bed before Bucky came back, the bottle held loosely in his hand.

Once more he settled between Steve’s legs, and the flick of the lube’s cap made Steve’s stomach tense up with anticipation. He watched, all but enraptured as Bucky squeezed some on his fingers, setting the bottle aside before settling back over Steve in the same position, the only difference being him reaching between Steve’s spread thighs and pressing his slick fingers right up against Steve’s entrance, easy as breathing, and began to massage it.

This time, Steve’s moan was unashamed, rattling in his throat. His eyes fell shut when Bucky’s lips pressed behind his ear, open and wet, and just like that, he eased two fingers in—slow and smooth. Steve didn’t mind the faint burn and stretch. It was intoxicating, and it only made him want more.

“Bucky,” Steve said. His voice was rough, one hand twisting in the sheets while the other was splayed at Bucky’s shoulder. His name seemed to be the only thing in Steve’s head for the moment, utterly unwavering with every slow movement of his fingers. “That’s—fuck, keep going.”

Bucky raised his head, and he sunk his fingers deeper than before, twisting and thrusting and curling in a way that chased every possible word Steve could say out of his mind. “That good?” he said, teasing. A laugh laced his words and it managed to make Steve give something like a smile, easing some of the tension that had snuck its way in. “Think you want some more?”

All Steve could answer with was a sound of agreement, and just like that, Bucky switched from two fingers, to three, and that felt even better. Steve had always had some measure of fascination with Bucky’s hands, sturdy and strong with long, deft fingers, and it wasn’t uncommon for Steve to draw some form of them. In the corner of a notepad or a napkin, and once, a page in a sketchbook he’d long since lost track of.

It soon turned to four fingers, and by then, Steve was lost in a haze of pleasure. He was half aware of speaking, of kissing Bucky again, of twitching his hips for more, but time passed in the strangest way. He felt impossibly clear and alert, but floaty, somehow, and he wondered how it could possibly get better from here.

When Bucky seemed to decide he’d done enough and eased out, Steve almost whined at the cold emptiness he’d left behind, clenching around nothing, but then he felt a hot, heavy weight pressing right up against him, prepared to press forward and in, and while Steve wanted everything, he was willing to move slowly.

He wanted to savor this, after all.

“You ready for me?” Bucky asked. His hands were curled around the bends of Steve’s knees, and the way he hovered above his body would be forever etched in Steve’s brain, all of that effortless warmth he always exuded dialed up to twenty and zeroed in on Steve, of all people. It was almost hard to believe. “C’mon, Stevie, I’m dying over here.”

It was hard not to laugh at that. Everything about this felt so right, like they’d been at this for ages, and as much as Steve wished that were the case, he was glad to have it here and now.

“‘M ready,” Steve answered, as clearly as he could. His stomach was clenched tight. “Ready for you, Buck.”

Bucky rolled his hips forward and pressed inside, hissing out a curse at the sensation, and oh, he was almost overwhelming. Blood-hot and pressing into all of Steve, filling him in a way he didn’t know he needed. The throaty moan pulled from Bucky’s lips made it all the more better, and Steve couldn’t help making a needy sound right along with him as he pushed in further and further, grabbing a handful of Steve’s thigh as he did.

“Fuck,” Bucky mumbled as he bottomed out, burying himself to the hilt. “Fucking hell, Rogers, where’ve you been hiding this whole time?”

Steve tried to breathe into the stretch, grip shaky as he clung on. His fingers dug into the meat of  Bucky’s back. “Here,” he shivered out. “Been here the whole time.”

“Then I’m a goddamn idiot for not looking harder,” Bucky said, and Steve had an inkling he wasn’t talking about sex at all.

All thoughts about what his words meant went flying off into oblivion when the head of Bucky’s cock rubbed up deep inside of Steve, leaving him seeing stars all over again.

So, he was wrong. This could definitely get better.

They communicated without saying anything at all, and Steve tried not to question just how that was possible. Bucky soon pulled back and almost completely out, and Steve all but chased after him, hips lifting up to meet his every movement, pushing up as he eased in. Every roll of Bucky’s hips dragged a desperate sound from Steve’s lips, a low, quiet thing that sounded something like the other man’s name.

Bucky was nearly silent, but every movement he made, every look he turned Steve’s way felt so intense, so focused on every part of him that Steve felt even more exposed than before. The thrust of Bucky’s hips was sure and precise, hitting home each time, and the only thing grounding Steve was the grip on his thighs. He wondered if there would be a mark left behind, the lingering evidence that Bucky wanted this as much as Steve did.

Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist, ankles pressed at the small of his back, and that prompted Bucky to come closer. Arms braced on either side of Steve’s head, chest bearing down down against Steve’s, and the angle here was even better than before, hitting Steve in all the right spots and leaving him gripping Bucky’s biceps like a lifeline, eyes squeezing shut. He could taste smoke and spearmint on Bucky’s mouth when he kissed him, felt the scratch of his beard against his own lips when the kiss broke and Steve could no longer find the right rhythm, growing more and more impossible with each thrust of Bucky’s hips.

Steve’s release built and burned up inside him, prepared to crash down over him, but he didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want to stop anytime soon and he bit down on his cheek, trying to hold it off, but Bucky’s movements were growing more erratic, still just as firm, but with the way he was staying low, the huff of his breath, the way his mouth pressed to the corner of Steve’s jaw, teeth poised against it, Steve could tell he was getting close, too. He was tense with anticipation when Steve’s hands ran over his sides, stopping at the meat of his upper back and holding on tight.

Just like that, Bucky was bringing their bodies closer together. Arms slipping under Steve and around his waist, and if Steve thought he was relentless before, he definitely was now. Movements fervent as he pumped his hips forward, so much faster than before, and fuck, Steve couldn’t find the words to say how good it was, but he could show Bucky. He tightened his hold, he let himself make all the noise trapped in his chest. Who was there to hear him, anyway? There were no neighbors, just the two of them alone with all the time in the world, and Steve would be damned if they didn’t get to take advantage of that.

His cock was caught between them, pressed tight up against Bucky’s stomach, and the friction was enough to make Steve’s vision flash. His blood boil to Steve. Having someone this close, someone he wanted so much was so rare, and his body knew it. His blood and his bones knew.

“Buck, I’m gonna—” Steve managed, muffled in the crook of Bucky’s neck. “Not gonna last. ‘M not.”

Bucky eased him back, and Steve could see the need etched into his expression. Between his brows, clenched in his jaw. He had a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, on the bridge of his nose, and he was even more breathtaking than before. Strip away the usual, and Bucky could only be seen even more clearly than before. He had nothing to hide, nothing to conceal, just like always. Now, he was more amplified than ever, giving Steve everything he’d been wanting to give.

“Then let me look at you,” Bucky huffed out. “Lemme see you, sweetheart.”

His hand was back on Steve’s cock, then, and this time, it was feverish and fast, all but pulling Steve’s release out of him. He went tense all over, breath punched out of him, and by the time Bucky’s hand began to run from root to tip, Steve was coming in hot ropes over his fingers, eyes squeezing shut as he clung to Bucky even tighter than before, a moan shuddering out of him. Bucky only kept him close, still chasing after his own release and Steve floated in a daze as he did, only aware of Bucky slipping out and heat dripping down Steve’s own inner thigh.

That floating sensation didn’t dissipate easily, persisting even as something soft rubbed against the mess all over him. Steve heard the soft thump of fabric against the floor and then felt the weight of Bucky’s body pressing even closer, but this time, his arms were curling around Steve, tugging him in, and God, Steve couldn’t help turning to face him, letting Bucky tangle their legs together as Steve rested just below his chin, breathing finally beginning to settle.

“Think I messed your shirt up,” Bucky murmured, voice vibrating in his throat. “Sorry about that.”

Steve tried to hum in protest, but he wasn’t sure if Bucky could hear him like this. He felt wiped out, all tension siphoned from his muscles, and when he finally opened his eyes and lifted his head, it was to the sight of Bucky watching him, something almost adoring on his face.

“Good thing I have a washing machine,” Steve said, exhaling slowly. He kept his eyes open despite how much he wanted to shut them again. “Buck, that was…” he felt the corners of his mouth pull up. “God, why did we take so long?”

Bucky’s smile crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Beats me,” he answered, and closed the barely there distance between them. He kissed Steve softly, with a lingering heat Steve couldn’t help wanting more of. “But on the other hand, maybe it was the right time.”

“What makes you say so?” Steve asked. He ran his fingers over Bucky’s hip, felt the ridges and paths of stretch marks, the softness of the skin there. He couldn’t help being curious, wanting to know more.

Bucky’s hand came up to rest at the side of Steve’s neck, thumb poised at his cheek. “I dunno,” he said, soft. “The last few years were a lot for both of us. You were raising a baby and running the bakery with your ma. We were worried about money and whether or not the diner was staying open, and I was trying to find more work on top of that. Drove myself half crazy so many times when it came to thinking about life, thinking about the future. So, yeah, we both took our sweet time but...” he traced gently over Steve’s cheek. “I think we picked the right moment to make it happen.”

It made Steve feel choked up, heart twisting and eyes growing hotter with every word Bucky said. He kept it down, tried not to give in, even as vulnerable as he was, bared in front of Bucky in more ways than one. 

“You’re right,” Steve said, and silently hoped there was no tremor in his voice. “You are. And the thing is, I could barely think being with anyone these past few years. I didn’t have the time to, and when it came to you, I thought it was…” he shook his head. “I don’t know what it was. I was so worried you didn’t see me the way I saw you, or that you’d find someone else before I got the chance to say anything. So I told myself I could be fine with things as they were, but I don’t think I can do that anymore, Buck. I really don’t.”

His heart pounded all the while, slamming against his ribcage, and Bucky watched him carefully all the while, and despite all he’d said, despite everything Steve himself said, it was hard not to worry if it was too much too fast, if Steve was taking miles when Bucky had only given him an inch.

The path of Bucky’s thumb never ceased, still tracing over Steve’s skin, and he moved even closer. “Neither can I,” he said quietly. “If we’re gonna do this, we’ll take however long we need to, but if I didn’t say anything to you soon, I was gonna explode.”

Steve felt himself smile faintly, tiredly. “I wasn’t far off,” he said. “Another thing we have in common.”

“List just goes on, huh?” Bucky said, then licked his lips. “C’mere.”

He kissed Steve sweetly, then. Tugging him in close and tight, and it made Steve feel loose and relaxed all over. Safe in the circle of Bucky’s arms. Steve’s fingers splayed over Bucky’s chest, and when the kiss broke, he found himself sticking close. Unwilling to move away. It was just so easy being close to him, to the point where Steve wondered why he worried about anything at all.

“Falling asleep on me again,” Bucky teased when Steve’s eyes fell shut, but his voice was soft despite his words, arms still tight around Steve. “Am I boring you, Rogers?”

Steve hummed in protest. “Opposite,” he said. “Best night I’ve had since...I don’t even know.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Bucky said, even quieter than before. “Believe me, I do.”

Conversation ceased for a few long moments, and Steve could tell by Bucky’s breathing that he too was beginning to fall into that quiet, slow zone before drifting off to sleep. They both worked long, long shifts and if Steve usually found himself ready to fall asleep long before midnight, then surely Bucky was the same. Hell, even their schedules were similar.

Shared life experience, Steve thought.

Bucky reached for the bedside lamp and flicked it off, pulling Steve close all over again, this time with his chin resting at the top of his head. Steve’s nose pressed against Bucky’s neck and he exhaled slowly.

Bucky made a gravelly sort of sound. “Your nose is cold,” he muttered.

“And you’re warm,” Steve told him. “This is one of the things you gotta deal with, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t laugh as much as he hummed. “I can live with it,” he said. “I won’t complain about havin’ you this close.”

“Hope not,” Steve joked. “Think that’d be kind of awkward.”

Bucky tilted his head down, and then his lips pressed to the cold tip of Steve’s nose. It was hard to see him in the dark, but feeling him was enough.

“Not gonna happen,” Bucky said. “I’m happy with where I am.”

Instead of answering, Steve found his mouth again, and this kiss felt so much lazier. Softer, and he tucked his head back under Bucky’s chin once the other man pulled away. Silence stretched on and Steve found his thoughts turning senseless, found himself coming to just as Bucky’s breaths were turning to snores.

How long had he slept? It could have only been a minute or two, but he didn’t have the strength to check the time. If he felt this good, why should he jeopardize that?

So, he tucked himself closer to Bucky, who was evidently still lucid enough to run his hand over Steve’s back, breath soft and warm against the top of Steve’s head.

He let sleep claim him, and for once, it didn’t feel restless. For once, he didn’t toss and turn or fret over the following morning. He wanted to make the most out of a moment like this, and tangled up the way he was with Bucky, it was incredibly easy to do so.

Chapter Text

Steve’s internal clock had him awake sooner than he would have liked, so even with his eyes shut and his mind still a pile of sleepy mush, he knew it was early.

He cracked one eye open and searched for the digital clock on the nightstand. 7:02, it read. He groaned and burrowed back into the warmth of the blanket. He wasn’t supposed to be downstairs for at least another two hours. Sundays were busy, sure, but they also meant opening later than usual, and Steve usually tried to take advantage of that. He wanted that now more than ever, especially since he wasn’t waking up alone this time.

Bucky was behind him, and evidently awake. Maybe for the same reasons as Steve, unable to wake up leisurely when an early start was all but engrained into his mind. He hummed low in his throat, pressing a slow, lingering kiss against the back of Steve’s neck.

“Y’okay?” he asked, rough with sleep.

Steve tried to give into the sleepiness dragging him down. He found himself turning and burrowing into the junction between Bucky’s neck and shoulder as the other man tangled their legs together. “Just wanna get some more sleep,” Steve murmured around a yawn. “Stay here with you.”

“You won’t hear me complaining about that,” Bucky said. Steve could feel his lips turn up, pressed against his hairline. “Sounds like a nice morning if you ask me.”

“Gotta get up soon, though,” Steve murmured, fingers curled around Bucky’s side. “Still gotta work.”

“Well, guess what?” Bucky said. “You have an extra set of hands today. Whatever you need, I’m your man, Steve. Just name it and I’ll do it.”

Steve wanted to groan all over again. Was it so much to ask to have one day to himself? Spending a lazy day with Bucky sounded like heaven, and the idea of having to work, having Bucky do the same right alongside him...

“Buck,” Steve began, sighing. “I can’t make you work. It’s...I’m not gonna ask you to do that when this is your only day off.”

“Steve,” Bucky said, far more awake than before. “The diner’s closed. I have nothing to do and nowhere to be, and once three o’clock rolls around, neither do you. So come on, let me keep you company today. I never know what to do on my days off, anyway, so it’s no skin off of my nose. I mean it. Just give it more than a half-second of thought.”

So, Steve did.

Sundays weren’t always disastrously busy. Sometimes, Steve just made a few orders and dealt with the rush from the post-church crowd from down the street, and then had the rest of the day to himself and June. Now, however, June was with Natasha and Steve was with Bucky, so maybe it would work out after all. Maybe they’d have time to do nothing at all, and then see where the afternoon took them.

Steve breathed out, slow and steady, and told himself to relax. “At least let me make you breakfast,” Steve said. “We have plenty of time until we head down.”

“In that case, let’s take our time getting up,” Bucky said, and when he kissed Steve, it was with a new spark of affection that had Steve all but melting into his touch.

-

For the first few minutes, Steve struggled not to look back at the clock. He struggled to quell the feeling of stress beginning to creep its way in, but Bucky turned out to be an excellent distraction until they both realized how badly they each needed coffee.

It was odd, not rushing downstairs. Odd to feel relaxed as the morning continued. Bucky’s ankle pressed against Steve’s under the table as they ate breakfast and drained their cups of coffee, tugged him close around the waist while Steve set everything in the dishwasher and again upon realizing they had a few more minutes to spare. By then, they were getting dressed and walking down and out into the chill of the morning.

Steve fit his keys in the locks and let himself and Bucky inside, shutting and locking it behind them. The blinds were still drawn, meaning no one would be able to peek through the window and try to get Steve to let them inside despite the bakery being closed, which has happened too many times to count.

He flicked the lights on and grabbed his apron off the hook by the door before sliding it on and securing it around his waist. “You’ve never been in the back, have you?” Steve asked as he walked toward it.

Bucky fell into step beside him. “I have,” he said, smiling when Steve raised a brow at him. “It was a long while back. I must’ve been, I dunno, fifteen? You weren’t here that day and your ma wanted me to bring a list of what we needed at the diner, and she was making, hell—” he motioned up to his chest. “A wedding cake about this high, maybe six huge layers or so, and I was just sneaking around trying not to startle her while she was decorating the top. Told me she has eyes like a hawk while she’s just piping the cake like the artist she was without missing a beat, and look, I’ve heard a lot of cussing in my life, but your ma was like a sailor when the phone started ringing. I just answered it for her because she was so mad.”

Steve found himself laughing, picturing it all play out in his head. It had gotten easier in the past year, talking about her without feeling that old familiar twinge of grief. “Oh, I know all about the cussing,” he chuckled. “Believe me, I know. You can thank her for June going through a whole phase with it when she was about three.”

“Now that I don’t believe,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Never saw that kid say boo to anyone.”

Steve turned the ovens on, striding back up to Bucky once he finished. “Yeah?” he said, trying and failing to stifle his laughter. “You should have seen her calling someone an asshole in the middle of the grocery store, and saying it like she meant it.”

Even in the moment it happened, Steve thought it was funny despite being humiliated. This tiny blonde bundled up in a Minnie Mouse puffer jacket and sat in a cart cursing a blue streak. Steve almost abandoned his groceries and ran out with June in tow.

It was enough to get Bucky. “Jesus,” he laughed, head ducking forward with it. “Jesus, Steve, I would pay to see that. So, what, she just stopped? That was it?”

“I guess it was a phase,” Steve said. “Wait till you see what happens when I slip up in front of her now. She gave me the what for during a traffic jam a while back, and I swear, I thought I was being quiet, but the kid hears everything.”

It was odd, not having her home. Steve almost thought about going to check on her and make sure she was still asleep, but she was all the way in Manhattan today, and Nat was surely letting her sleep in. Steve would leave them be for a while. It was still early, after all.

“Hey, can you grab the eggs from the fridge?” Steve asked as he ducked into the proving drawer and grabbed the sourdough loves. “I’m gonna get started on the muffins after these go in.”

Bucky tugged the fridge open and then set the eggs on the island beside Steve before leaning over it, arms crossed. “Just saying,” he said. “I think I can figure muffins out. I’m not gonna sit here like a goon while you work.”

Steve sprinkled flour over and scored a few lines on the top of each loaf, being as precise as he could. He set the razor down, drumming his fingers on the countertop. “Well, you have a choice,” he said. “Chocolate chip or pumpkin?”

“How hard can chocolate chip be?” Bucky asked. His smile was contagious.

Steve felt a thrum of content deep in his veins, and once he set the loaves in the oven, he lowered down to the island’s cabinets, bringing out sugar, chocolate chips, pumpkin puree, vanilla, and then the liners and pans. “You ever bake before?” Steve asked.

“If brownies from a box count, sure,” Bucky joked. “I’ve got the usual suspects on the menu down pat in case I have to take over in the kitchen, some of my ma’s food, too. I can make you a pretty good moussaka, or a cheesesteak, or eggplant parm, but like I said, I can figure this out.”

“Those your specialties?” Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged. “Guess you can say that,” he said. “And I’m not opposed to making you something. Your pick, sweetheart.”

Bucky was already getting liberal with pet names, and they rolled off his tongue so naturally, left Steve feeling warm all over. Left him only wanting to hear them and be called them even more than before. “Maybe next time,” he said. “We can make a day out of it sometime. June’s going to some Halloween party soon, think it’s next week.”

“Next week?” Bucky asked, leaning even closer. Steve did the same, ending up nearly nose to nose with him. “So, you wanna call that our actual first date?”

Last night may have felt like a date, but they didn’t officially label it as one, even with all that happened afterward. The thought of having a real date with Bucky made Steve’s heart flip over. “Well, let’s see,” Steve said, and tried not to grin as Bucky tugged him closer by the apron. “We’ll have the whole evening at my place, we’ll have real food for dinner, I’ll be spending that with a guy who’s pretty easy on the eyes, so I think I’d call that a date.”

“Hey, just easy on the eyes?” Bucky teased, stealing a kiss. “What happened to handsome? You saying I’m not worthy of that?”

“Bucky,” Steve laughed, barely able to speak with how close they were. “Yeah, alright, you’re handsome. You look like Montgomery Clift, you happy now?”

“Yeah?” Bucky said, easing back to all but smoulder at Steve. “I always thought I had a Brando thing going on underneath all this.”

He scratched at his own beard as he spoke and Steve snorted. Bucky messed up his already stubborn hair. “What are you laughing at, Blondie?” he asked. “You think that’s funny?”

“I do, yeah,” Steve said, and managed to slip out of Bucky’s hold. Somehow his heart was racing, cheeks aching from smiling. “Now quit bothering me and get to work, funny guy.”

Bucky held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright,” he said. “At least help me out a little over here. Told you I’m basically lost when it comes to baking.”

Steve stepped up to stand beside him rather than across from him, and their shoulders brushed together all the while. “So, I’ll show you the way I was taught,” he said. “You know all about prep and measurements already, so we’re not starting from there. Just grab a measuring cup and measure out two and a half cups of flour and dump it into one of the stand mixers.”

Bucky did, leveling it all out before looking over at him, squinting. “You sure you trust me with this?” he asked. “You’re putting this out today, after all.”

Steve nodded. It was true, he did. How could he not? Bucky had grown up in a restaurant. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just put you on clean up duty,” Steve said brightly.

Bucky huffed. “You’re still the same punk you always were, you know that?” he said.

“Guilty as charged,” Steve said, and then Bucky nudged their shoulders together as they got to work.

-

Bucky mainly helped with looking after whatever was in the oven after that, helping Steve load everything in and taking everything out. A few early morning customers came in, and then it was quiet for hours after that. Steve texted Natasha around noon, asking how she and June were doing, and it turned out they were galavanting around the city for the day, and headed down the subway as they spoke. She said she’d let him know when they were finished, and Steve found himself content with that. He trusted Natasha with his own life, and with June’s, too. Always did.

He and Bucky put up the rest of the fall decorations around the bakery, and then Steve prepared a big batch of pastry dough, leaving it to rest. A rush of people came by, all different groups grabbing a few pastries or muffins, a half dozen of whatever Steve had, then the loaves of bread, but it was easy to handle, especially when Bucky insisted on helping him out. 

Steve redid the sidewalk sign after the rush was over. In oranges, reds, and yellows. He had only chalk on his side, but it did the job just fine, and as he wrote out new additions to the menu in the usual swooping style he reserved for the signs, Bucky hovered over him, watching all the while.

“You should see my handwriting,” Bucky said. “It’s a joke compared to yours.”

Steve shook his head as he shaded the letters and then sketched out a pumpkin with an orange piece of chalk, just outlining it in a few strokes and then setting the sign aside. “Not my actual handwriting,” Steve said. “Calligraphy’s a whole different ballgame. The chicken scratch you see in my notebook back there? That’s my handwriting.”

Bucky glanced at his watch, brows raised. “Hey, it’s almost three,” he murmured, looking over to Steve. “Don’t you think it’s time to start closing up?”

It turned out that it was, and surprised, Steve did a bit of clean-up, packing up the little baked goods that remained with the intention of either bringing them upstairs or maybe to a food bank somewhere near by. He tried to make that happen as often as possible.

For once, the hours slipped by quickly. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he actually enjoyed being at work. He woke up relaxed and continued on feeling the same way, and having Bucky around just made him feel so...free. The night before was still surreal, still so fresh in his mind and now, it was hard not to think about what else was to come now that they were ready to explore their feelings. Steve wondered where that would lead them in the long run.

“I think that’s about it,” Steve said. “I should probably try to meet up with Nat and bring June home, make sure she gets some food in her. You gonna head back?

“Think so,” Bucky said. “I don’t wanna keep you too long, so I’ll get going soon.”

“You’re not keeping me from anything,” Steve said. He drew the blinds on the windows, on the door after flipping the open sign over. “If I had it my way, I’d let you stay all day.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Bucky said, and then he came close, hands sliding around Steve’s waist. “I’ll be around. Always am, so don’t be surprised if I come bother you at the crack of dawn tomorrow.”

Steve found himself walking with Bucky, backing up just a few steps until he felt the small of his back nudge the counter. “Don’t think you’re gonna bother me,” Steve said quietly. “Don’t think that’s possible.”

His hands came up to Bucky’s shoulders, and even though they’d been all but attached at the hip for hours now, it felt nice to be close like this. It was impossible to just stop in their tracks. Being with Bucky didn’t sate Steve’s need to be closer to him, it just left him wanting even more than before.

“Good to know,” Bucky said. “‘Cause it’s gonna be pretty hard to shake me off.”

Steve found himself nearly grinning into the kiss Bucky pulled him into, aware of his hands running over his waist. His hands were warm even through Steve’s t-shirt, and he hummed, low and dark, into Steve’s mouth, in a way that was nothing if not suggestive.

“Buck,” Steve mumbled against his mouth. “At this rate, we’re gonna have to go back upstairs.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Bucky said, stealing one more kiss before he pulled away, squeezing Steve’s hips. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Tomorrow,” Steve said, breathless and stuck in place as Bucky headed for the door. “Thanks for everything, Bucky, really.”

Bucky opened the door. “Don’t thank me. It gave me a few extra hours with you,” he said. “How was I gonna pass that up?”

Steve figured it was his cue as well. He would likely be leaving to pick June up soon, so locking up was going to happen regardless. He gave the door a tug and then stuck his keys in his pocket. “Well, maybe we’ll do something soon that doesn’t involve either of us working,” he said. “I’m holding you to dinner at my place, just so you know.”

Bucky smiled at that. “The 31st, right?” he asked. “I’ll come by at five?”

“Five’s perfect,” Steve said, and with that, Bucky gave him a wave, prepared to walk away before stopping in his tracks.

“Hell,” Bucky said, and came back for another kiss. Right on their street, which was blissfully quiet for once. His hands came to either side of Steve’s face, and Steve could only press his hands up against his chest, fingers splayed out. If he could spend another few hours with Bucky, he would, but they were making plans to meet again soon, and it all felt like it was going to work out.

“Okay, now I’m leaving,” Bucky said, pulling away. “For real this time.”

“I’ll see you, Buck,” Steve said. He was almost hesitant to let him go, but their time had to end eventually. They both had things to attend to, Steve needing to pick up June, and Bucky needing to prepare for his week to start all over again tomorrow.

With that, Bucky crossed the street, disappearing behind the diner. Steve waited for the telltale sound of his motorbike, and then Bucky drove out onto the street, face almost entirely hidden behind his helmet. His visor was flipped up, and Steve caught his gaze. He raised one hand in a brief wave, and just as Steve did the same, Bucky was gone, picking up a little more speed as he headed down the road.

Steve watched him until he disappeared, chest thrumming with something he couldn’t quite place. He doubted he’d stop smiling for a while, that he knew for a fact, and he highly doubted he’d stop thinking about the next time he saw Bucky.

With that in mind, he headed upstairs, changed his clothes, and then called Natasha.

-

Steve sat on the train, focusing on the way the way it rumbled against the tracks and up through his seat. The whole day was still right in front of him and he wanted to take advantage of it. He was in a good mood, so much lighter than he expected to be, and that continued when he ended up at Natasha’s place, a brownstone that surely cost her an ungodly amount of money, but then again, Steve supposed that was the perk of doing...whatever it was she did.

Natasha opened the door after Steve knocked. Her hair was pulled back into a braid, and her sweater felt soft to the touch when she tugged him in for a hug. There was the faint smell of coffee and grass on her, and Steve wondered how long it had been since she got back home.

“So, you’re alive after all,” Natasha said when she pulled back, smile wry as she shut the door. “And here I was worried Barnes was some kind of axe murderer.”

Steve felt his cheeks warm, strangely enough. If he was going to keep his cool about the night before, he couldn’t perk up at every mention of Bucky’s name. “How could I have been dead if I texted you this morning?”

“Stranger things have happened,” Natasha said and breezed past him, looking back as she spoke. “I’m guessing you had a good time?”

Steve tried to school himself into something of a poker face. “What makes you say that?” he asked.

Natasha shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because you can’t stop smiling,” she said. “But that’s just my opinion.”

Steve almost elaborated, because God, did a part of him want to tell her everything. Maybe he’d find more privacy another time, but for now, June was officially in earshot. Steve heard her storming down the stairs, sneakers scuffing on the wood, and Steve barely had time to tell her to slow down before she pounced on him and nearly knocked the wind out of him.

“Hi, Dad!” she shouted, cheek pressed against his. Steve squeezed her close, surprised at the ferocity of the hug, but then again, this was the first time she’d spent a whole night away from home in a long while, and now that Steve thought about it, he felt the pinch of that distance, too. How could he not? “Did Nat tell you what we did last night? Did she tell you about the play? Did she tell you about today?”

“Woah, hey, we’ll talk about everything in a second. It sounds like fun,” Steve said. He kissed her cheek and then he set her down. “C’mon, you can tell me all about it while we’re here.”

June did. They ended up ordering food in and she told him about what she did from the moment she left the bakery to just before Steve walked in. It turned out that they’d snagged a couple of tickets to a Broadway show, and when Steve made a face at Phantom of the Opera, Natasha looked at him as if to say what?

“Don’t look at me,” Natasha said defensively. “Talk to the future queen of the stage over there.”

“I liked it,” June said. “Wanna watch the movie one day?”

It was definitely a change from June’s usual suspects, and as much as Steve wanted to be surprised, he was the one with a piqued interest in art at her age. However, it wasn’t like Steve saw plays often growing up. He saw Cabaret with his ma when he was about twelve, and he never really had the time to get into theater despite being surrounded with drama students in college thanks to the circle he hung around when Sam and Natasha were busy.

Well, if this was the next phase, Steve would welcome it. He almost hoped it overtook her growing fascination with bugs.

“Why not?” Steve said, and that seemed to be a good enough answer.

The rest of the visit was nice, but when the sun began to set, Steve decided it would be best to get going. He gathered June’s bag, hugged Natasha goodbye, and then he was back on the train. This time with June leaning against his shoulder, looking even more wiped out than she did before. Steve hoped she didn’t doze off on the way home, but she’d had a long day from what he’d heard, and all he could ask for was her getting a good night’s rest.

“Hey,” Steve asked. “You decide on a Halloween costume yet?”

June shook her head. “I can’t choose,” she said. “It’s too hard. There’s so many I want.”

“Well, we could look for one tomorrow,” Steve told her, and that alone had her perking up. “We need to grab a few things for the house anyway, so we can browse around, see what we find.”

He squeezed her close when she wrapped her arms around his middle. “M’kay,” she said, looking up at him. “Did you miss me while I was at Nat’s?”

“Are you kidding?” Steve asked, just to see the way she smiled. “‘Course I missed you. Home just ain’t the same without my best girl.”

It was the truth, of course. Steve and June were like glue, and he knew that if he’d spent any more time alone the day before, he would have ended up a June shaped hole in his heart. How could he not?

At home, they ate dinner, which ended up being chicken noodle soup. Not necessarily Steve’s favorite, but he had everything he needed for it. He boiled it all until the chicken and vegetables were tender, and then the noodles went in soon after. June was hungrier than she let on and went through two bowls, the same as Steve, and crumbled oyster crackers all over the top of each serving.

It wasn’t much longer before she was cleaned up and changed into pajamas. Steve set her clothes out for the morning, then dried her hair and pulled it into a ponytail as he sat beside her on her bed. By then, it was a little past nine o’clock. Just a day ago, and Steve was speeding through Brooklyn on the back of Bucky’s motorbike. It almost felt like a dream, even though the knowledge that he would see him tomorrow was very, very real.

“You know, I think you have the right idea,” Steve said. “I’m gonna get some sleep, too. Want your light off?”

June was, surprisingly, already slipping under the covers. Steve wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when he and June usually had a little back and forth on Sunday nights concerning turning in early for school the next morning.

She nodded, turning onto her side with the blanket pulled up to her chin. Steve kneeled down and kissed her forehead, feeling himself smile when her nose wrinkled, and he pecked a kiss there too for good measure.

“Night, June,” he said.

“Night,” she said quietly, and Steve squeezed her shoulder over the blanket gently before killing the lights and leaving the room, only shutting her door halfway.

Steve was tired, if he was being honest. He had the energy to go through his usual nightly routine before grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen. He loaded the dishwasher and turned it on, then he changed his clothes and sunk into bed not so long after, feeling surprisingly at ease. He usually found himself stressed, even at the end of the night, but this was an exception. Maybe he was anticipating curling up against someone all over again, being held close.

God, he wished he was falling asleep tucked against Bucky all over again, but there would be time for that again soon. Steve felt it in his bones.

-

Steve woke up refreshed.

The morning managed to go off without a hitch. He was even up early enough to have breakfast without rushing and have two mugs of tea in favor of coffee. He packed June’s lunch up while he was at it, and then decided he’d be easier on himself today. He’d bake the usual morning suspects, but then try to focus on pastries. 

Something about them felt meditative to Steve. He could make them in his sleep, same as the rest of the menu, but they felt more special in comparison. Steve enjoyed making them. He wondered if he would be ready to make croissants one of these days.

In the bakery, he prepared the fillings for danishes and hand pies, made a big batch of whipped cream for cream puffs, and baked muffins and banana bread. With the stand mixers and hand mixers on his side, it was easy, but he still found himself feeling tired out by the end.

His eyes drifted to the old ‘Help Wanted’ sign collecting dust on a shelf, and considered hanging it in the window.

He shook his head and continued working. Maybe he’d take an employee on after the holidays, or maybe employees, if he could afford to. Someone to run the counter and someone to make deliveries while Steve worked in the kitchen. He wouldn’t mind teaching his recipes to the right person, it was just a matter of trust, really. A part of him told him that he was putting too much thought into it, but how could he not? The bakery was a staple in Steve’s life, his and his only.

He filled the display case, let the freshly baked pastries cool in the back, and decided to head upstairs and get dressed, maybe have something else to eat. He still had a little time to spare before June woke up.

Just as he stepped out and locked the door, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He dug it out and answered it without checking who was calling, tucking it between his ear and his shoulder.

“Hel—” he said, voice rough with sleep. He cleared his throat. “Hello?”

“Turn around,” Bucky said.

Steve did, and there Bucky was, watching him through one of the diner’s big windows. He found himself smiling, heart giving a squeeze.

“Aren’t you busy in there?” Steve asked, teasing.

“Not really,” Bucky said. “I came in first to clean up. My pop and Rebecca should be here in a little while.”

The diner didn’t open for another forty-five minutes, Steve realized, and his stomach lurched when Bucky stepped out the front door, locking it before he came across the street, empty as it usually was at this hour. He hung up the phone and pocketed it, so Steve did the same.

“Was hoping I’d catch you before you got too busy,” Bucky said. “Am I too late?”

Steve tilted his head. “Well, I need to get dressed and get June to school,” he said. “So, we have about a minute or two.”

Bucky watched him for a moment before a surprisingly wicked, small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “I can work with that,” he said.

And then his hands, warm and smelling faintly of smoke, came to either side of Steve’s face, tugging him into a kiss that woke him up all over again.

Steve shut his eyes into it, breathing out through his nose and winding his arms around Bucky’s shoulders. He felt Bucky’s hands at the small of his back, pulling him even closer. Steve almost melted further into him, but a few seconds later, Bucky was pulling back, kissing the corner of Steve’s mouth.

“I’m gonna let you go,” he said softly. “Just wanted to come see you for a minute.”

“I’d tell you to come up after I drop June off, but it looks like neither of us are gonna have any time,” Steve said, then sighed. “You guys need a delivery in the next couple of days, right?”

“Wednesday,” Bucky said. “I’ll send you the list now that I’ve got your number, but I’ll just come pick it up around nine that morning. It’s no big deal, Steve. Really.”

Steve nodded after a moment. “Okay,” he said. “June’s party’s not too far away, and she should be there for a few hours. You can come to my place and we’ll see where we go from there.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Bucky said. “I’m not gonna pass up spending another day with you. We’ll get it all settled, I promise.”

He stole a quick kiss after that, squeezing the nape of Steve’s neck. Steve’s fingers only had a chance to brush against the softness of Bucky’s shirt, to touch his forearm for a moment. “Okay,” he said, taking a breath and managing to smile. “Yeah, okay. I’m looking forward to it.”

“You and me both,” Bucky said. “Now go ahead, get outta here.”

The moment Steve turned away, Bucky was already walking back the way he came, footsteps hitting the pavement. Steve made it back upstairs and changed his clothes, relieved to find June dressed and brushing her teeth already. He poured her a bowl of cereal and made sure to brush her braid out, prepared to pull her hair back again before she stopped him.

“Can I wear it like this today?” she asked, purposely shaking her open hair out.

“If you carry a comb in your backpack and make sure to use it, go ahead,” Steve told her and gave her hair a barely there, teasing tug. “I don’t think you want me to brush out any knots again.”

“Nuh-uh,” June said. “I promise I’ll do it. I’ll even pinky swear.”

Steve huffed a laugh through his nose. “I’m holding you to that, pal,” he said, linking his pinky with hers. “Just so you know.”

The walk to school was quiet for the most part, and Steve only remembered they had to go shopping in the evening once June reminded him. He needed a better schedule. He needed to feel more organized, and so many things needed to change, but he couldn’t bring it all in overnight. He knew it had to be in baby steps, but God, did he wish it was easier.

Steve watched June go from a little ways away, her bag slung over one shoulder. She turned to wave at him as she always did, and once she got inside, he took that as his cue to leave, walking back and trying not to think about how much he needed to do. After all, he was still in a good mood, and he wanted to enjoy it, wanted to make it part of each day going forward.

-

The street was nearly desolate, so Steve closed at three and decided he’d stay closed for the day. He had no one to answer to, and he was the one who called the shots here, so why should he force himself to work himself for longer than he should? He knew his area, and knew which days were best for business and which weren’t. He would start putting more attention into his orders, maybe try to work on the bakery’s dump of a website, and add an option to purchase cakes right from there. That might make his life a little easier.

Baby steps, he reminded himself. It would all be done in baby steps.

For now, he’d focus on the rest of the day. He’d pick up June and run a few errands, maybe find somewhere nice to eat lunch. One of the many reasons Steve’s routine needed to change was June. He couldn’t leave her to feel like she needed to solve things on her own, and he couldn’t take the thought of wasting precious time with her when they were so close.

When he met June outside, he pulled her in for a side hug, squeezing her close, and was shocked to find that her hair was still in good shape. He was proud that she knew how to take care of herself. She was a fast learner, and Steve had a funny feeling she’d be doing her own hair soon enough. He’d hold off on her making anything food related but a bowl of cereal or a sandwich for the moment, however.

They grabbed groceries, and June ended up choosing a witch costume, matched up with a pail for trick-or-treating, made to look like a black cauldron. The party was in a little over a week, and June was already keeping her promise that she would keep an extra sharp eye on her schoolwork in the time leading up to it.

The weather was nice enough to sit outside, and so when they got lunch, they ate in the sun at a tiny restaurant Steve wasn’t familiar with, but was fine enough with, especially once June seemed to be interested in eating the food she’d ordered.

Steve’s phone lit up with a text midway through lunch, and he couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips when he noticed it was Bucky.

Just checked and I’m all yours on the 31st, it read. How’s dinner at your place sound?

That works for me, Steve replied. We’ll figure out something to make this week? Let me know if you think of anything.

I might have a few ideas :)  I’ll let you know. Gotta get back.

Lastly, he sent the list of what was needed for the diner, and Steve was relieved to see he had just about everything to get it all done without a hitch.

“Who are you texting?” June asked, snapping Steve back to reality.

“Huh?” Steve asked. “Oh, just a friend. Talking about meeting up sometime.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth, either. Steve had been single for June’s entire life so far, and he couldn’t just spring this on her, even if it was someone she knew.

“Is it Sam?” June asked. “Nat?”

Steve shook his head. “It’s, uh,” he began. Again, he reminded himself not to lie. That would only make this take a turn for the worst. “It’s Bucky, actually. From the diner. We’re...we became pretty good friends.”

“Bucky?” June asked. “That’s cool. I like Bucky.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, feeling something loosen in his chest.

“Mhm,” June hummed. “Can we get ice cream after this?”

Steve expected more, expected her to badger him with questions, but she only continued eating. Of course, Steve said yes to ice cream, partly because he felt guilty for inadvertently lying to her, and partly because he knew she’d follow through on her promises of eating dinner and getting homework done.

He’d tell her the truth when the time was right. He didn’t want to spring anything onto June when she least expected it. God, he had no idea where to begin, or who to ask about such a thing. None of his friends had kids, and the parents he did know were all in relationships, and not close enough to him that he could bring the situation up.

When they eventually left, they ate ice cream on a bench and enjoyed the last bit of warm weather. Steve thumbed a drip of chocolate off the tip of June’s nose and told himself he didn’t need to have all the answers right now. He’d figure it all out in time.

-

They watched part of a movie, mostly because June fell asleep on the couch and because Steve was on his way there himself. The next morning was the same as before, and that night Steve got a start on the desserts for the diner—four cheesecakes, three pies, and a big batch of eclairs.

Cheesecake was a no-brainer for Steve, and so was pie, if he was being honest. He’d learned to make both when he was about fifteen, and sure, maybe the eclairs were a little finicky, but they’d become some of his best work, a staple at both the diner and the bakery.

By Wednesday morning, he was able to work on his own menu and then take June to school. He was back in the bakery soon enough, and as he took down a pick-up order for a birthday cake, his thoughts drifted to the idea of hiring someone once again. He needed someone reliable and hopefully permanent, who could easily hold down the fort while Steve took care of the desserts and got to spend time with June without being interrupted.

He’d have time to spend time with Bucky, too, spend some time with Sam and Natasha without a lick of guilt. Steve had too many people he cared for, and the last thing he wanted was lose a single moment with any of them.

Once November rolled around,  he’d make the necessary changes and he would stick to them. Steve stuck to his word, no matter who he made a promise to.

The bell atop the door jingled as Bucky came in, just in a t-shirt layered over a long sleeved shirt, both different shades of gray, and jeans. “Hey, you,” he said, a smile immediately spreading over his lips. He came closer, the counter being the only thing between the two of them, and Steve could barely hold back the sappy look on his face, the warm burst of affection blooming in his chest. “Miss me?”

“Would you judge me if I said yes?” Steve asked.

“Nope, ‘cause that means you won’t judge me,” Bucky said. “Wanted to drop in a few times, but you were busy or done for the day. You closing earlier than usual?”

“Trying to ‘till I find an employee,” Steve said, then nodded toward the back. “C’mon, everything’s back here.”

They loaded up the hand truck, and when Steve set the last box on it, letting Bucky wheel it out to the front, talking all the while about nothing in particular, Steve came to hold the door open for him, wishing for more time, but they both had things to do, and they would have their day soon, wouldn’t they?

“I was thinking I could come by around four, give us a little extra time together,” Bucky said, lingering in the doorway. “And I’ll bring whatever we need for dinner.”

“Which is going to be…?” Steve asked.

“I’ll surprise you,” Bucky said, and leaned in to steal a kiss, hand at Steve’s nape. “I promise, it’ll be good. Trust me.”

Steve kissed his chin, and it made Bucky’s smile broaden, eyes crinkling up at the corners. “‘Course I trust you,” Steve said. “Now, go ahead, before your ma tears you a new one.”

“You think I’m scared of her?” Bucky teased, and Steve only arched a brow in response. Bucky’s hand lingered, gentle before he pulled away. “Thanks again, Steve. I’ll be around. Always am, so just give me a shout.”

With another kiss, he was heading back to the diner, waving at Steve before he went around the back, and Steve knew he was in deep. Deeper than he ever imagined.

-

The week was so busy he barely had a moment to see Bucky. He updated the website after agonizing over it, began thinking long and hard about what exactly he needed from an employee, and on Friday, he found himself picking up not just June, but two of her friends and had his apartment almost shook to the ground by three little girls, jumping and yelling all over the small space before all but barricading themselves in June’s room with her dolls, and only then was Steve able to get back to work. He only had two pick-up orders in the morning, another delivery for the diner, and the average days of work ahead.

It was busy, but it brought in more money. The cold weather was working in Steve’s favor.

When he made his delivery to the diner, he found that Bucky wasn’t there that day. In fact, it was just George, Winnie, and Thea, who were taking care of a few tables. He dropped everything off after a few minutes of conversation, and then it was back to work. It turned out that Steve didn’t need to drop June off at the Rambeau-Danvers house at all, since some of the kids were just going to squeeze into Carol and Monica’s car and leave straight from there.

Halloween finally rolled around, and when Steve got June ready for school, he picked out clothes that would be easy to wear under her costume, which was a fluffy, scratchy mess of purple tulle and black velveteen fabric and covered with so much glitter Steve found his jeans coated in it. He slipped it along with the matching hat into a bag with the intention of her changing into it once she arrived at the party.

He walked her to school. The sun was out despite the cold, and June was bundled up against it, her hat pulled snugly against her head. She held Steve’s hand throughout, and he asked her if she was excited, which she was, of course. She hugged him goodbye before she went inside, arms squeezed around his neck after he’d lowered down to her, and then she was headed in with the usual rush of students, all filing inside before the doors shut.

Steve decided he’d have the day to himself after walking away. Something was in the air, though he wasn’t sure what, and it told him today was best for a day-off.

He got back and scrawled out a quick note to tape onto the door, and then he headed upstairs, thinking he’d start out with doing nothing. He sat on the couch and watched TV for a little while, allowing himself to sink into the softness of it.

-

Steve woke in the exact same spot with a slightly stiff neck, and the realization that he’d fallen asleep.

For five hours.

Groggy, he rubbed the crust from his eyes and wanted nothing more than to shut them all over again, but he made himself get up, stifling a yawn as he headed for the shower. He kept it as warm as he could bear and let it wake him up slowly, eyes shut against the spray.

He still had time before Bucky arrived, and June would be out of school in a couple of hours, heading to the party. Both Carol and Maria had his number, and it wouldn’t be the first time June spent time at their house, anyway. Steve trusted them, of course he did. A part of him wondered if he should get June some kind of prepaid brick of a phone, just to check in on her whenever he needed to, but the thought of her losing it and then not being able to get in touch at all was even scarier. He’d rather just go through the parents as he usually did.

As the afternoon continued, he was easier than he expected, not worrying about work. He had nothing to do, no one calling, and it was nice to have some quiet. Just a few hours to himself.

He talked to Sam for a while, relieved to hear from him. They’d both been busy, and they rarely went more than a couple of weeks without talking, but there would be time to catch up soon. He invited Steve over for Thanksgiving as he often did, and Steve took the invitation without hesitation. He needed a few days with Sam. Maybe they’d go fishing. June would enjoy the change in scenery, enjoy seeing A.J. and Cass, and it would just be nice, getting out of Brooklyn for a little while.

Steve did the laundry he’d been putting off, organized the apartment a little, and made sure everything was neater compared to the last time Bucky had come over. He made sure the kitchen was organized, that his papers and everything else he needed for work were hidden away, and still had time to spare. He received a call from Carol, just telling him that June was with her, Monica, and the rest of the kids Steve could hear in the background. The call was quick, but it relaxed Steve. He found himself in a much better mood after that, especially once he knew he’d be kept in the loop. He’d pick up June at eight, since the party ended around then anyway, and on top of that, tomorrow was Saturday. There was no rush to make sure she was in bed on schedule. She deserved to have some fun.

At three-thirty, the buzzer began to ring and Steve didn’t care how quickly he moved for it, pressing the button and clearing his throat. “That you, Buck?” he asked.

“The one and only,” Bucky said, and Steve buzzed him up, immediately able to hear him coming up the stairs.

Steve opened the door to watch him step up the last few, feeling a smile pull at his lips before he realized it was happening at all. Bucky was wearing his old jacket, brown leather lined with white fleece, and had it zipped all the way up. Bucky was a big guy, and for him to be cold meant it must be getting bitter tonight. Steve was relieved he sent June with her gloves, hat, and scarf. He only hoped she wore her coat if the kids went trick-or-treating or spent any time outside.

“You’re early,” Steve said as Bucky reached the top, stepping inside before Steve shut the door. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I was getting bored waiting around, figured I’d come and bother you sooner,” Bucky said, using the hand that wasn’t holding a large brown paper bag, almost in tatters with how filled it was, to slide into Steve’s hair, fingers splaying at the back of his head. “How’ve you been?”

“Been okay,” Steve said, leaning into the touch. His own hand slid up Bucky’s chest, resting at one broad shoulder. “Better now that you’re here.”

Bucky gave him his usual half-smile, bringing Steve closer. “Guess we’re on the same page, then,” he said quietly, right up against Steve’s lips. “C’mon, Stevie, I’m dying over here.”

That was all Steve needed to sigh into the kiss. All the sweet names Bucky doled out, his steadying, slow touches, it made Steve melt a little more each time. He curled his fingers into the leather of Bucky’s jacket and let himself be pulled closer, just for a moment before Bucky gently broke the kiss.

“Hey, lemme show you what I brought,” Bucky said. “And before you ask, it’s nothing crazy, but I think you’ll like it.”

Steve followed him to the kitchen, watching as Bucky pulled out two cans of tomatoes, onions, garlic, a package of ground beef, basil, and plenty of other odds and ends, before finally bringing out a bottle of wine.

“Now, lemme just say one thing,” Bucky began, setting everything up on the counter. “I’m a cook, not a chef. You’re not gonna see me making a beef wellington or using that bag thing to steam salmon or anything else fancy. I know how to feed people, and I’m gonna show you how I do it. This is all my pop’s recipe by the way, so if his version is a little better than mine...well, I did what I could.”

Bucky gave him a crooked smirk as he finished, pulling Steve in when he came closer, arm tight around his shoulders. Steve leaned into it, meeting Bucky’s eyes. “Sounds good to me,” Steve said. “And just so you know, that ‘bag thing’ is called a sous vide.”

Bucky groaned when Steve grinned. “Of course, you know what it is,” he said, reaching down to pinch Steve’s side and make him jump in the process despite his smile broadening.

“I just watch a lot of cooking shows,” Steve tried to explain, chuckling when Bucky grabbed him around the waist. “I don’t even know how they work, Buck. I couldn’t do fancy if I tried, and I don’t think a seven-year-old is gonna enjoy anything like that. Or the seven-year-old’s dad, for that matter.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Bucky teased. He kissed the spot between Steve’s eyes, surprisingly sweet in its intimacy, and squeezed him close again. “Now quit distracting me, alright? Let me do what I do.”

-

Steve was surprised by the fact that Bucky didn’t let him do, well, anything.

Sure, he handed things to Bucky when he needed them, but mainly, he just watched. The entire apartment smelled of garlic and onions, but Steve didn’t mind at all, of course. Bucky’s methods were efficient, and Steve could tell he’d been making this exact recipe for years. Maybe Bucky was in the same position as Steve—thinking of it as his job more than a hobby—, but he seemed to be satisfied with himself and his process. He browned meatballs and then added them back in after he put the sauce together, giving it a good mix before leaving it be. He adjusted the heat to a slow simmer, covered the pot, and stepped away.

Steve watched him all the while, the small of his back resting against the counter. They moved to the couch after a moment, and Steve squinted at the late afternoon sun streaming through the window.

Bucky sat down heavily beside him. “Just gonna let that go for a while,” he said. “Nothing else to do until later.”

“I just wish you’d let me help you out a little more,” Steve said, head dropping down to his shoulder. “That was a hell of a lot of work, Buck.”

Bucky shook his head. “I wanted to do something nice for you,” he said, running his hand up Steve’s arm. “You deserve it.”

It made Steve feel warm from the inside out. He was at a loss for words. He wasn’t sure why it was taking such a toll on him, Bucky’s kindness, his effortless affection, maybe because he’d never really experienced anything like it and never cared to let anyone this close before . Everything just felt so easy around him.

With no words to offer, Steve leaned in and Bucky seemed to read his mind, meeting him halfway. His hand cupped Steve’s cheek and his thumb swiped gently over his cheekbone as the kiss grew a little firmer, just on the edge of heated compared to being soft.

“You said there’s nothing else to do?” Steve breathed out.

Bucky hummed, affirmative. It vibrated against Steve’s lips. “Not for another hour, maybe more than that,” he murmured, and then Steve felt his sly smile widen. “Why?”

“No reason,” Steve said. Bucky’s hands roamed over him more intensely than before and he held back a shiver as they ran down his sides, slipped under his shirt. So they were on the same page, after all. “Just curious. Any ideas on how to kill some time?”

“Maybe one,” Bucky said, touches becoming far more purposeful. “Or two. I’m a guy who can think on his feet, you know. Always prepared.”

There was so much more Steve could have said, but then Bucky kissed him in a way that chased every thought from his head, left him stifling a moan as his cock twitched against his thigh, arousal suddenly burning hot in his gut. He felt like he’d been waiting months to have this again, and now, he needed Bucky like he needed air in his lungs. He was so close, smelling of smoke, of clean soap and cologne—all warmth and spice and something else Steve couldn’t place, but only made him want Bucky even closer.

“Bucky,” Steve managed to say, coming out far scratchier than he’d expected.

“I know,” Bucky said against his mouth. “Want you, too.”

He ducked his head to kiss over Steve’s neck, hot and wet and slow despite the urgency of his mouth, and that time, Steve didn’t bother holding back a single sound, eyes squeezing shut when Bucky palmed him through his jeans.

“You can have me,” Steve blurted out before he could stop himself. “You can have everything.”

Bucky’s teeth ran over his throat. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make his intentions obvious. Steve’s grip on his shirt faltered. “God, Steve,” he murmured. When he lifted his head, stray hairs escaped from his ponytail. He looked disheveled already. “You’re a dream.”

He kissed Steve again, this time easing him back to lie on the couch. All Steve could do was spread his knees to let Bucky closer, a feverish desire pulsing through his veins all the while.

-

By the end of it, Steve was breathless.

They’d ended up in his bedroom not long after and not unlike their last encounter, but this was even better. They were learning the rhythm of each other’s bodies, slowly but surely, and the phantom pressure of Bucky’s hands lingered on Steve’s skin as they finished. His hot breath, the words that fell from his mouth, it all set Steve ablaze and he found himself wanting more and more. God, if he could have a few days like this, spent in bed and feeling as lazy as he did, doling out and receiving touch after touch, kiss after kiss…

For the moment, though, Steve was alone. He listened to the sound of the bathroom sink run, Bucky’s footsteps moving up and down the hall, and then finally the door creaking open as he returned, crawling back into bed and right over Steve, now wearing his boxers.

“Sorry,” Bucky murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Had to make sure I didn’t burn the food. Or burn down the apartment.”

Steve hummed, eyes half-lidded as he looked up at him. He let himself be pulled close, let himself move with Bucky so they were lying on their sides. He leaned into the fingers sliding through his hair, his own hand resting at Bucky’s hip. “Wish we could stay like this all day,” he said. “Feels so nice.”

Bucky looked about as relaxed as Steve felt, cheek pressed against the pillow as he watched him. “Doesn’t have to be a fantasy,” he said. “We could make it happen one of these days. Or for more than that.”

“You a mind reader or something?” Steve asked, eyes narrowed.

“I am, actually,” Bucky said. “I know what you’re thinking about right now.”

“And what’s that?” Steve asked.

“How handsome I am,” Bucky teased, coming to lean over Steve all over again. “How I’m the best looking guy you’ve ever seen, and that you’ve never met anyone with such a big—”

“Jesus, shut up,” Steve laughed. His head fell back against the pillows, cheeks burning despite how disheveled he already was. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do,” Bucky drawled out. “You make a real compelling argument, Steve.”

Steve reached up to take his face into his hands for a moment as he stole a kiss, unable to keep from smiling. It felt good, just being like this, basking in the afterglow of it all as they slowly came back to reality, ready to figure out their day as it came at them.

Later, they put their clothes back on, and Steve boiled pasta before they set their tiny table. He found the time to check in with Maria, relieved to hear that everything was going smoothly at the house. Bucky left a hockey game on, leaving the volume on a whisper, and Steve didn’t mind it at all. It was about the only sports he liked, save for baseball, and it seemed that Bucky was on the same page the more they talked about it. He suggested going to see a hockey game sometime, and Steve was a little surprised when he asked if June would be interested in something like that.

“Yeah,” Steve said. His lips pulled up at the corners. “Yeah, I think she would. She’s in one of those phases where just about everything interests her. Hell, she was all about musicals last week, then working with me right before that, so she’ll have fun. She’s an easy-going kid.”

“Then here’s another question for you,” Bucky began. “You think she’ll be onto us?”

Steve thought about that for a moment, but then he shook his head, fingers drumming over the back of the chair. “I don’t think so,” he said. “I already told her that you and I are friends, so it won’t be a big shock if she sees us around each other. She’s...she already knows I’m gay, Buck. I explained it a while back, and I wasn’t gonna keep it from her. We’ll just…” he shrugged. “We’ll play it by ear with her. See where we go. See how she feels.”

Steve and June were close. Of course they were. The last thing he wanted to do was keep something from her, but at the same time, he didn’t want to spring the idea of him dating someone, especially someone they both knew. He wanted to make sure everyone was in the right state of mind. June, Bucky, and himself. Bucky had the right idea to begin with. Including June would be the best thing to do in the long run, and if he was going to be around even more than usual, June would need time to warm up to him completely.

“We’ll make it work,” Steve continued. He took a steadying breath, stepping closer to Bucky. “She likes you a lot already, in case you didn’t know. Said so a few days back.”

“Yeah?” Bucky said, hands coming to either side of Steve’s neck. “Then we’re already off to a good start.”

He gave Steve a quick kiss, breaking off with the soft sound of their mouths, but Steve kept him close to rest their foreheads together for just a moment, content thrumming in the core of his chest.

-

Dinner went smoothly. The wine was good. The food was delicious, and Steve was a little surprised at that, if he was being honest. He only ever saw Bucky running the front of the restaurant. Acting as host, busser, waiter, and so on. He’d overheard him yelling from the kitchen a few times, so Steve assumed he knew the ropes there as well, but now, he could see Bucky had a damn good hand. Every bite of food had flavor, and judging by the smug look on his face as Steve ate, he knew it.

“Told you I’m good,” Bucky said. He bumped his knee against Steve’s under the table. “I’m not used to making such a little pot of food, though, I’ll say that.”

“Even at home?” Steve asked, curious.

“Oh, you have no clue, do you?” Bucky said, almost gravely as he shook his head. “See, at home, don’t think it’s just the six of us. No way. It’s my grandparents, and then my aunts and uncles, and then the cousins, then some friends, then Rebecca and her fiancé, and the guy’s just gonna bring more people soon enough. My ma’s Greek, Becca’s marrying an Italian guy and they’re moving to Staten Island after the wedding, but oh, both families get on like a house on fire, so his whole family has been popping in more often. Thanksgiving’ll be a nightmare, I’m telling you.”

It sounded crowded, but considering the way Steve grew up, it sounded nice. The idea of a big family, always together and around each other no matter what, wasn’t something he’d ever had the chance to experience unless he was with his friends.

“Bucky,” Steve chuckled. “I’m an only child, both my parents were only children, I never got to meet any of my grandparents, and I’m raising one kid now. Believe me when I say that sounds like fun. One of my best friends, Sam, grew up in Louisiana and he moved back a few years ago, so I go down to see him every year, ‘cause it just gets, I dunno, it gets lonely here.”

“So you’re gonna head down to see him next month?” Bucky asked.

Steve nodded. “That’s the plan.”

“Well, I’ll make you a deal,” Bucky said. “If you want to, you can come over for Christmas. Saves me some of my sanity, and…” he shrugged. “I dunno, I think it’ll be nice. Don’t feel like I’m pushing you into it, but it’s an offer.”

“You’d really want me to come over?” Steve asked. “You sure?”

“Why not?” Bucky asked. “I’d want you there, and I’m sure the rest of the family would, too, once I tell ‘em you’re interested. It’s like I said before, you’re basically family, Steve. That means something.”

Steve’s heart was caught in an iron grip. Bucky had mentioned them being family again, which meant he didn’t say it back at the pub for nothing. Steve tried his best to school his expression into something that wouldn’t fully betray him, but Bucky was too perceptive for his own good. Steve knew that to begin with.

Of course, Steve had Sam and Natasha, knew they were family to him and always would be, they were constant presences in his life, but the idea of being wanted so much romantically, and by Bucky of all people, made him feel something he couldn’t quite describe. He’d never experienced anything like it before.

How would their relationship be by December? For all Steve knew, it could be better than ever.

“I’ll be there if you’ll have me,” Steve managed to say, then breathed a soft laugh. “Means I have a lot more presents to buy now, that’s for sure.”

That made Bucky smile in that familiar way he always did, lips pulled up crookedly and eyes crinkled at the corners. “Hey, June’ll like it at least,” he offered, reaching over to squeeze Steve’s fingers. “Believe me, everyone goes nuts on kids in my family. They’d love to have her.”

It was a good start. A promise that this was so far from a one-off situation. Bucky wanted Steve there with him for the holidays. He wanted to get to know Steve’s daughter. If that’s where things were headed, Steve had no qualms about getting even closer than before. His fear of moving too fast was beginning to ebb away, slowly but surely. After all, Bucky wasn’t a stranger. They’d known each other their entire lives. How could they not move a little faster than the average couple?

They finished dinner and cleaned up, setting everything in the dishwasher. Steve tried to do most of the work since Bucky was the one to make dinner, but he found himself moving through the kitchen with him all the while. The spaghetti was stored in a tupperware and left in the fridge, and by the time everything was clean, it was already a little past seven o’clock. Somehow, it felt like he’d been with Bucky for both the entire day and just a few minutes.

“I should probably head in June’s direction,” Steve said after they’d sat down, leaning onto Bucky’s shoulder when his arm came around him on. “Party’ll be over soon, but it sounded like a madhouse when I called. How much damage can bunch of second graders do?”

“You’d be surprised,” Bucky said. He nosed into Steve’s hair, squeezing his shoulder gently. “C’mon, I’ll walk with you. It’s on my way out, anyway.”

So, he did. The air was colder than it was earlier, and Steve zipped his jacket up to his throat. He almost stuffed both his hands in his pockets, but Bucky offered one of his own, and how was Steve not going to take that?

Holding his hand made everything feel even more real than before. Bucky’s hold was firm and grounding, thumb swiping gently over the back of Steve’s hand as they walked, soon reaching Steve’s car, parked in its usual spot.

After unlocking it, Steve lingered for a moment, meeting Bucky’s eyes. “You wanna come with me?” he asked, unsure.

For a moment, Steve prepared for Bucky to decline, and already began to tell himself not to think too much of it, but then Bucky smiled, a slow, soft thing. “You know, I was gonna offer, but I was worried that would be pushing it,” he said. “Maybe you’re the mind-reader, after all.”

He squeezed Steve’s hand, and Steve couldn’t help but squeeze back before letting go and then getting into the drivers’ seat, shutting himself inside. “Sorry if there’s any junk,” he said as Bucky opened the passenger’s side door. “I try to keep it clean but there might be—“

“An intruder?” Bucky asked. He held up a small, bright purple toy pony that was apparently sat in the passenger’s seat.

“When the hell did she put that there?” Steve asked, taking it from Bucky and setting it in the back, watching as the other man sat down.

“You know how many of those I got thrown at my head when the girls were growing up? Be lucky June ain’t like that,” he said. “How far away is the house?”

Steve backed out of his space. “Should be twenty minutes?” he said. “Hope she ate something that wasn’t candy, but I kind of doubt she did.”

“It’s Halloween,” Bucky said with a shrug. “If there’s any right time for her to gorge herself, it’s tonight.”

“Oh, so you’re planning on winning her over already, I see,” Steve joked.

“Nope,” Bucky said, reaching over to turn the heat on. “I’m just naturally charming. Even you fell for it.”

Steve tilted his head. “No arguments there,” he said, glancing at him for just a moment before setting his eyes back on the road.

-

The drive was peaceful. They continued talking, only taking a break when Steve got in touch with Carol to let her know he was on his way over. She and Maria moved to Ditmas Park earlier in the year, but Steve had a funny feeling they were both interested in living somewhere quieter, maybe leaving the state entirely. Out of all the parents of June’s friends, Steve liked Carol and Maria the most, even if they didn’t see each other that often. A part of him almost hoped they didn’t move away. He knew Monica suddenly up and leaving would break June’s heart.

When Steve drove into the neighborhood, looking over each house decked out in decorations, he thought that he might like to have a house of his own one day. Selling his childhood home was necessary, and as much as he wished to have it back, he might want to find something that fits him a bit better once he has the money. Somewhere with lots of space and light. The apartment was okay when he was young, and when June was young, too, but a house all to himself was something he’d always wanted, the thought sticking stubbornly in his mind for as long as he could remember.

He managed to find parking at the end of the street, and when he got off, Bucky did, too, falling into step beside him. “Jesus,” Bucky said, taking a look around with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “You think you’d ever want to live somewhere like this?”

“I wish I could sometimes,” Steve said. “Once June gets older, I want to find somewhere with more space. I doubt it’ll be here, since I wouldn’t know what to do with a house this big, but something roomy. Something that feels like home is all I want, you know what I mean?”

Leaves crunched under their feet as they walked. The neighborhood was still alive with noise, and a few kids in costumes were walking behind them, soon weaving their way around until they could run in front of them. Another few steps, and they were in front of the house, heading up the stairs before Steve rang the doorbell. He stuck his hands in his pockets and waited.

A part of him wondered if they’d be invited in, or if Stevehe was simply picking June up and heading back home. He glanced at Bucky, prepared to ask if he was okay with either, but then the door was opening, and all chances were gone.

“Wow, long time, no see,” Carol said, and Steve was surprised when she pulled him in for a quick hug. When she pulled back, she looked over at Bucky. “Hey, I don’t think we’ve ever met. I’m Carol.”

Bucky was all charm, like the push of a button. “Bucky,” he said, offering his hand. “I’m a friend of Steve’s. Just along for the ride.”

Carol took his hand and shook it. “Good to meet you, Bucky,” she said, and then she glanced at Steve. “Come on in. June’s in the living room with the kids. Just watch your step.”

Steve was about to ask why, but he soon stepped over a few small pairs of shoes. A few of the kids were still around, some Steve recognized, and some he didn’t, but he spotted June on the floor in the living room with Monica, Cassie, and the rest of the bunch, trading from their pails of candy. He whistled, just his same old two notes that got June’s attention, and she immediately raised her eyes up, face lighting up.

She waved, grinning at him. She was still in her costume, hat still on despite being a little crooked.

“You ready to head home, pal?” Steve asked, nodding toward the front door.

“Yup,” June said. There was a little chorus of aww, but June still stood up, hugging her friends before she came over to Steve. Thankfully, she was the only one wearing her shoes. “Bye, guys!”

“You have fun?” Steve asked, walking with her and giving her a squeeze. She nodded, and he heard the sound of Bucky’s voice mingled in with Carol and Maria’s own. “Hey, by the way, it’s not just me picking you up. I hope that’s okay.”

June nodded. “Who else is with you?” she asked.

That was when they came back to the entrance, where Carol, Maria, and Bucky were waiting. Bucky was leaned against the hallway wall, but stood up straight when Steve and June came into view.

“Hey, pal,” Bucky said, giving her a wave. “Hope you don’t mind me tagging along with your dad.”

Steve almost braced himself for her reaction, but he reminded himself that Bucky wasn’t a complete stranger to June. He’d already mentioned being friends with him, so things should be easier, shouldn’t they?

June only shook her head. If she was a little quiet, Steve chalked it up to her being tired. It wasn’t out of the ordinary. A full day at school, and then hours of excitement following it. She could use a good night’s sleep.

“Well, I think we’re gonna head back,” Steve said, then glanced down to June. “C’mon, let’s say goodbye.”

They did. Steve thanked them for keeping an eye on June, promising that if they needed anything, or if they needed someone to keep an eye on Monica, to get in touch with him. With that, they left, heading back toward the car after Steve helped June bundle up into her coat.

Steve cranked the heat back up once he started heading back the way they came. “So, how was your day?” he asked, catching June’s eye in the rearview mirror. “Tell me all about it. Did you go trick-or-treating?”

“So,” June began. “First we came to the house, then we all put our costumes on, and then, it turned out that Billy and Tommy forgot their costumes at home, so we had to wait for their parents to show up so we could go trick-or-treating, and guess what happened?”

She shoved her bucket onto the arm rest. Bucky glanced inside. “Barely half full,” he said, turning to face June. “Pretty skimpy, if you ask me.”

“Yeah,” June said, dejected. “We came out with squat.”

Bucky laughed at that. “Come on,” he said. “Looks like you had a lot of fun at the party, at least. How was that?”

Just like that, the ice was broken. June launched into the entirety of the day, into everything she and her friends did at the party, and soon enough, they were getting back to their own neighborhood. There was no point in any goodbyes just yet, especially when Bucky was headed the same direction as Steve and June.

“I have a question,” June began, looking up at Steve.

“I might have an answer.”

“Can I go trick-or-treating again?”

Steve sighed and checked his watch. It was early enough. As much as he didn’t want to be a push-over, the sight of her nearly empty pail made him reconsider. “We can go check out the houses near by,” he said. “Just for a few minutes, okay?”

That seemed to be enough for June. She nodded, squeezing Steve’s hand a little tighter. “Okay,” she echoed, and before Steve could say anything, she turned around. “Hey, Buck, are you coming, too?”

Steve raised his brows before meeting Bucky’s gaze, who looked just as surprised. “Yeah, Buck,” Steve said. “You coming with us?”

Bucky flashed him a quick smile before he lowered down to June’s level, hands braced on his knees. “It’d be my pleasure, Miss Rogers,” he said. “I’m ready when you are.”

It made her smile, and Steve couldn’t help the relief he felt. Maybe this would be easier than he initially thought. June wasn’t shy, which was a relief in Steve’s eyes, because he was the exact opposite at her age. He still was, in many ways, and he hoped this was something she continued carrying throughout her life. They were both stubborn in their own ways, assertive, and could get spitting mad if something drove either one to it, but Steve didn’t think he was raising a monster. Sure, he spoiled her more often than he should have, but he couldn’t help that, being all each other had.

Only a moment passed, and then they were headed toward the rows of houses on a side street. Most of the lights in each window were thankfully still on, and Steve could see a few kids around. Even if June got a little extra, he was sure she’d be satisfied. He didn’t want her to stay out in the cold for too long.

As they came across the first house, June whipped her coat off before Steve could tell her to leave it on, and she climbed the two steps leading to the door, ringing the bell. He watched her all the while, taking a step closer as the front door opened.

“You know, you seemed kind of nervous earlier,” Steve said, just loud enough for Bucky to hear.

“Me?” Bucky asked. He shook his head. “Nah. Kids love me. I’m great with ‘em.”

Steve said nothing, amd then Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yeah, alright, maybe I’m kissing up,” he said. “I don’t wanna be that boyfriend the kid doesn’t like.”

“Boyfriend?” Steve blurted out. He couldn’t help notice the surprise on Bucky’s own face. The air was briefly still.

“That’s what I was aiming for,” Bucky said, trying to gauge Steve’s expression all the while. “In the long run, I mean. Didn’t really plan on saying anything for a while, but how’s that sound to you?”

Steve’s throat was dry. He couldn’t help wishing they had this conversation in the apartment, where they could have some semblance of privacy instead of talking about it in full view of his daughter and the rest of Eighth Street.

“It sounds…” Steve said, and his laugh may have sounded a little hysterical. “It sounds good. Perfect.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, and then his smile returned, curling at the corners of his mouth, slow and warm. “You know, I’d kiss you, but —”

“Look what I got!” June exclaimed, jogging back down the stairs. “Look!”

She rushed up between them, and when Steve glanced into her pail, it was substantially more full than before. “Hey, not bad,” he told her. “You wanna check out one more house?”

“Yeah, come on,” June said excitedly, and tugged him forward by the hand.

Bucky fell into step beside him, and Steve caught his gaze. “Looks like you’re getting another glimpse into my life,” Steve said.

“And I like what I’m seeing,” Bucky said. “Now, you heard the lady. Get the lead outta your pants.”

They stopped to the next house, one with quite a few stairs, so Steve and Bucky followed June up, lingering behind her as she rang the doorbell, and when it turned out to be an older woman who said she was closing up for the night, she tipped the last of the candy into June’s pail, which seemed to make her entire night, especially when she noticed the full-sized Hershey bar inside.

“Psst,” Steve stage whispered, leaning closer to June. “You know, I like Halloween candy, too.”

“He’s not the only one,” Bucky said, teasing. “Sharing is caring.”

June hummed thoughtfully, digging through her pail as she walked. “Here ya go,” she said lightly, pulling out a caramel apple pop—which was both her least favorite and Steve’s favorite—and a fun-sized chocolate bar.

“Hey, how’d you know I like Milky Ways?” Bucky asked.

“I didn’t,” June said, shrugging. “But they’re my favorite, too.”

They reached the door after another few moments, where they lingered for a moment as Steve searched for his keys. “I think I’m gonna head home,” Bucky said. “Gotta be back here in about eight, nine hours.”

“You’re not gonna hang out with us?” June asked.

As much as Steve wanted Bucky to stay, he couldn’t mess with his routine. They both had busy days ahead of them tomorrow. “I think we should let Bucky go home and get some sleep,” Steve said. “We’ll hang out again soon, though.”

“We will,” Bucky agreed. “We’ll find something fun to do all together. Promise you, pal. I’ll pinky swear.”

“Okay,” June said, a little disappointed, but nonetheless, she smiled before she stuck her pinky out and linked it with Bucky’s. “For real?”

“For real,” Bucky told her, letting go after a moment. He met Steve’s eyes. “I’ll call you, but I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

God, Steve felt like he was free falling, dizzy like he’d been spun around again and again. He wanted to reach for him, to steal another kiss, but he couldn’t do that. Not here. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll talk to—I’ll see you then, Buck.”

Bucky smiled, and Steve could tell he wanted to reach forward, too. But he just took a step back, hands in his pockets. “Night, Steve,” he said, then waved. “Night, June.”

“Bye, Bucky!” June called, her voice echoing down the street as he began to walk away.

Steve watched him go, turning the corner and disappearing, and then he unlocked the door, bringing June close and rubbing a hand up her back.

“C’mon, pal,” he said. “Let’s get inside.”

Chapter Text

It turned out that June ate at the party, but Steve fixed her something anyway. He sliced a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich into triangles and by the time June emerged from her room, changed into pajamas, he set the plate on the coffee table and sat beside her, turning the TV on. He scanned through the channels, hoping to find something fitting for the holiday, and found a few options, but June seemed most interested in Casper. 

They’d only missed a few minutes, but it was easy enough for her to follow, especially once Steve caught her up. Steve had seen it a few times when he was younger, and it gave him an odd sense of nostalgia as he watched. He and June dug into some of her candy, but she didn’t get far with the small pile she’d made on the table, only eating a few pieces before she was fully enraptured in the movie.

It had been such a peaceful day. From start to finish. The hours spent with Bucky, and then relaxing with June, the lightness in Steve’s heart was hard to miss, and before he knew it, he found himself spacing out on the couch, eyes slipping shut and missing a few scenes of the movie. He half-expected June to poke him awake as she always did when he dozed off during a movie, but then Steve noticed that she was asleep; head resting in his lap. She must have moved there when Steve had last drifted off,  and as much as he didn’t want to bother her, he carefully lifted her and stood up. Her arms circled around his neck as he walked toward her room, and once he was close to the bed, he pulled the covers back and gently set her down, making sure to pull her blankets comfortably over her shoulders.

He didn’t want to wake her, so he only tucked her hair away from her face before shutting the lights off and stepping away, feeling ready to fall asleep himself.

Once he finally made it to bed, he thought about what could be ahead as time went on. He and June didn’t have much time to talk about the brief time they’d all spent with Bucky, but he would try to bring it up again soon, see where that took them.

Steve hoped, silently to himself, that it all fell into place.

-

In the morning, he headed down to the bakery and preheated the ovens, and then stuck the ‘Help Wanted’ sign in the window, feeling oddly relieved as he began his usual routine.

-

Steve didn’t see Bucky all morning, but he tried not to think anything of it. It was Saturday morning, and he was surely busy. Steve was going to get swamped soon, too, and he doubted he’d have any time to steal a few moments with him, especially once he brought June downstairs.

That wasn’t long after Steve tossed a few trays into the ovens, and once he’d made June breakfast and brought her downstairs to the bakery, he couldn’t help feeling bad, wanting nothing more than to let her relax, but how was he supposed to leave her on her own? Steve may have had a little trouble finding time to take care of himself, but the last thing he would ever do is leave June’s needs on the back burner.

Steve soon filled the display case and then sat down across from her, arms crossed over the tables. “Hey,” he began. “What’re you working on?”

June shrugged. “Just this,” she said, turning her nearly finished coloring page around. “It’s the last page.”

June had quickly grown bored of the usual coloring books Steve got her, and she’d ended up infatuated with mandalas and far more elaborate designs, putting the entirety of her pencil collection to use. She already had her eye on drawing, and that among other things, proved that June truly was her father’s daughter.

“Whenever you finish it, I’m putting it up,” Steve said, and pointed behind the counter, right below the wall clock. “Right there. I’d be crazy not to want to look at that every day.”

A smile pulled at her lips. “You really like it?” she asked.

“I love it,” he said. “C’mon, I could use some help in the back. You think you wanna be my taste tester?”

That was all Steve needed to say. A moment later, June was standing up on a stool and she slowly whisked batter for carrot cake together. Steve spooned it into cupcake liners before he tossed them into the oven. June watched as he whipped cream cheese frosting together, and when the cupcakes were out of the oven, he stole one away while the others cooled, spooning frosting onto it.

“Okay, moment of truth,” Steve said, splitting the cupcake in half. June took a big bite. Frosting smeared on the tip of her nose and her eyes widened. “Well?”

“Mhm,” June managed to get out, nodding enthusiastically.

“Yeah?” Steve asked. Steve took a small bite of the other half, and sure enough, it was good. Better than good. He might have to add it to the menu permanently. “Hey, you’re right, not bad.”

“It’s so good,” June said, nose wrinkling as Steve wiped the frosting off of it with the pad of his thumb. “Hey!”

“What, do you want to walk around with frosting on your face all day?” Steve asked. “I don’t think so.”

They polished off their snack, and Steve reminded himself to get some real food into both their stomachs soon. As the early afternoon went by, Steve took a break and went upstairs. He fixed up the leftovers from the day before, finding that it tasted even better today, if that was possible, and June seemed to like it even more than Steve did. He was suddenly hit with the urge to get in touch with Bucky, but he told himself to be patient. He still had to work, and waiting until they were both free of their responsibilities for the night was all he could do.

Business picked up, and Steve found himself more than a little busy, but he didn’t mind it this time. Soon enough, he might have an employee to help him with all of this and from there, he would try to take it a little easier. His number was on the sign, as was the opportunity to inquire in person, so it wasn’t like he would miss the opportunity of finding the right person for the job.

He and June went to get some air once the bakery was clean and closed up, just a quick walk to the grocery store to grab a few things for the apartment. He reminded himself to restock the bakery soon. He was beginning to make a dent in his flour and sugar. 

Later, after they’d ordered dinner and watched part of a movie they’d caught on TV, Steve let June have a few pieces of her Halloween candy and he stole a piece. They scrounged up a set of playing cards Steve had in one of his drawers and played a surprisingly intense game of Go Fish, which ended with June winning. All in all, it was a relaxing night, down to the moment June got into bed. Steve decided he’d let her stay up for a while to mess around with her dolls before bed, taking the opportunity of a nearly empty apartment to clean up. The kitchen was soon spotless, the living room no different, and he even managed to get some laundry in. For some, nighttime was about doing nothing. For Steve, it was finally having the time for housework.

He was out of the shower by a quarter to ten, changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He peeked in on June, who had been asleep for a little while, and then he checked his phone, surprised to find a missed call from Bucky. It had only been five minutes since he called, so Steve didn’t hesitate to ring him back.

Bucky answered, and faster than Steve expected. “There you are,” he said. “I figured you were asleep.”

“Nope,” Steve said. “Still awake.”

“So, does that mean you’ll let me come up there for a few minutes?” Bucky asked.

“I—yeah,” Steve blurted out, already standing up and glancing at his reflection. He looked presentable enough. Just tired. “Yeah, of course. June’s asleep, so I think we’re good if you want to hang out for a while.”

Sitting around with Bucky for a while would be enough. Steve could use that. He wanted so badly to just stay with him and do nothing at all. He hoped that Bucky had the same idea.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Bucky said, and Steve could hear him moving around. A door slammed shut and wind blew into the receiver. He was already walking over. “Buzz me up?”

“Got it,” Steve said, and then hung up.

Gingerly, he shut June’s bedroom door a little more, leaving it only a crack open. She was a heavy sleeper for the most part, but the last thing Steve wanted to do was disturb her or make her feel uncomfortable. Even though she’d already met Bucky, Steve wanted to give her time to ease into his presence.

Just then, the buzzer rang, and Steve quickly answered it, unlocking the door. He heard Bucky’s footsteps coming upward, and he opened the door to meet him, something tight in his chest finally beginning to unravel. If Steve couldn’t go one night without him, how did he make it through days of this before?

“Just warning you now,” Bucky began, hushed. “I smell like burger grease.”

“Nah, you don’t,” Steve said. “And even if you did, I think I’d still want to kiss you.”

“That so?” Bucky asked, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Steve only smiled before he leaned in, one hand coming up to the side of Bucky’s face while the other rested at his shoulder. A pair of warm, strong hands came to Steve’s hips at the same moment, and he was pulled closer, held there even as the kiss slowly broke.

“Hi,” Bucky said against his lips.

Steve felt his smile widen. “Hey,” he murmured. “You wanna come in or just stay out here all night?”

They stepped inside as Steve spoke, shutting the door and then sitting on the couch. Bucky kept his jacket on, even as he slouched into the cushions. “God,” he muttered. “I hate weekends. Can’t fuckin’ stand ‘em.”

Steve leaned against his shoulder. The leather was cold under his cheek, but Bucky’s arm tucking around him was a welcome contrast to it, and Steve couldn’t help wanting to burrow closer as Bucky nosed into his hair. “At least you’re free tomorrow,” Steve said. “You can sleep all you want.”

Bucky hummed quietly. “Not exactly,” he said. “My pop and I have to go to my cousin’s place for a couple of days, help him fix up his new house while ma and the girls run the diner. I love the kid and all, I just have one problem.”

Steve looked up at him, catching his gaze.

“He lives in Paterson, and then we’re going up to check on my uncle in Hamilton, spend a couple of days with him,” Bucky continued. “I’m gonna be stuck in goddamn Jersey for days.”

Steve laughed. “Jesus, Bucky,” he said. “You made it sound like something serious.”

“It is serious,” Bucky said despite laughing himself. “I’m gonna lose my mind out there, and here you are, laughing at me. Real sweet, Rogers. You’re sweet as sugar. And to think I was gonna ask how you wanted to celebrate my bravery for going there when I got back in town.”

“Fine, fine,” Steve said wryly. “You win, Jersey is the devil’s playground.”

“You’re goddamn right it is,” Bucky agreed. “Now, come on, what do you wanna do when I get back?”

“I don’t know,” Steve said, sighing. “Buck, I’m happy with anything. Really, I am.”

“Why don’t we do something all together?” Bucky asked. “No need to worry about finding a babysitter if we bring June with us. ‘Course, that’s if she’s interested. I’m good with kids. I can always figure something out.”

Who was Steve to pass the opportunity up? If Bucky wanted to get to know her, if June was interested in that as well, why would Steve miss out on that?

So, he nodded. “That sounds...that sounds so good, Buck,” he said. “And I think she’d be up for it.”

“Hey, what would I be if I didn’t try?” Bucky asked. “I don’t wanna push, but I don’t wanna be an asshole either.”

“You’re an asshole with a heart of gold, how’s that?” Steve said, leaning up and letting Bucky steal a kiss. “I’ll talk to her about it soon. She had fun with you. Said so herself.”

This felt right. Steve felt safe with Bucky. Comforted by his presence. Save for Sam and Natasha, he felt like Bucky may be one of the few people who could know him inside and out. See Steve for who he really was, and want to keep looking even closer.

“I’ll brainstorm, but let me know if you think of anything,” Steve continue. “You can call me while you’re in Jersey. I’ll keep you company.”

“My own little piece of Brooklyn at my fingertips,” Bucky said, and Steve couldn’t help rolling his eyes, even as he pursed his lips into another kiss. “You know, you keep rolling those baby blues and they’ll fall right out of your head.”

“I can’t help that you’re corny,” Steve said.

“I’m corny?” Bucky asked, surprised. “How am I corny?”

“One more line and you’ll have kernels falling out of your ears,” Steve teased.

“Like you don’t love it,” Bucky said, pressing his lips down Steve’s jaw. “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, sweetheart.”

“Buck,” Steve chuckled softly. “Come on.”

“Come on, what?” Bucky hummed. “Ain’t gonna be back till next Sunday.”

As much as Steve wanted him to go further, he didn’t want to keep Bucky for too long. They had busy mornings ahead of them, and Steve was so, so unfairly tired. He wanted Bucky to stay. He wanted him under the covers and he wanted to be pulled close against him, to lay against his chest and listen to the beat of his heart instead of tossing and turning alone in his bed.

“Here,” Steve said, and kissed Bucky all over again, deep and slow, before pulling away. “How’s that for a goodbye kiss?”

“Makes me want to leave even less than I did before,” Bucky joked. “I gotta go pack, get ready for tomorrow. Don’t feel like you’re bothering me if you call, alright? I wanna hear from you.”

Steve nodded, and he leaned into him for another moment, shutting his eyes as Bucky rubbed his hand up and down Steve’s shoulder. “Hope you don’t mind me bothering you late at night, then,” he said. “That’s the only time I’m not busy.”

“Believe me, I know how it is,” Bucky said. “I’m a night owl for a reason.”

It grew quiet between them. A warm, comfortable silence that Steve only wanted more of, but they had no choice but to get untangled from each other after a few moments. Steve was suddenly cold wherever he was pressed against Bucky, and he just wanted to be close to him all over again as they walked to the door.

“Gonna come by the night I’m back, okay?” Bucky asked. “Even if we’re just hanging out like this for a while. Whatever you want.”

“Whenever you have time,” Steve said. “I’ll call you. Promise.”

He expected Bucky to kiss him again, but he didn’t expect the warmth. The gentleness it carried. Bucky smelled of cold air and the warm spice of his cologne, and Steve felt dizzy as he pulled away.

“Get some sleep,” Bucky said quietly. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Night, Buck,” Steve said, soon watching him move back and descend the stairs.

God, Steve was in deep.

-

Sunday went by quickly. Steve and June met Natasha for a late lunch, and then after they separated from her, went to a movie. Once June was in bed, he did in fact call Bucky, who was sleeping on his cousin’s sofa for the time being, and found himself on the phone with him for over an hour. It was funny, really. They saw each other so often, but always managed to find something to talk about. Steve only hung up when he found himself too tired to continue, when Bucky in the same boat himself.

In the morning, he walked June to school, opened the bakery, and waited for business to come. He checked his emails, erased a few unimportant messages, and then found himself interrupted by Natasha ringing his phone. Steve sighed before he answered it, hoping he sounded awake.

“Hello?” he said.

“Hey,” Natasha said, and from what Steve could tell, she sounded like she was outside. “You mentioned you were looking for an employee, right?”

That had him curious, and hopeful, above all else. As much as he wanted to blurt out a yes, he stopped himself. “Yup,” he said. “Got a sign up and everything.”

“Well, maybe you can take it down, because the kid’s looking for a new job,” Natasha said. “Think she’d be a pretty good fit, and you know, it saves you the trouble of dealing with potential freaks.”

The kid in question was her younger sister. Yelena, whom Steve had only met a handful of times, even once she moved to New York. 

“And you think Yelena wants to work here?” Steve asked. “I mean, I’d be happy to take her on. I just need someone to work in the front and take care of customers while I get my work done in the back.”

“Well, one of her jobs was at a pretentious coffee house in Soho, and by pretentious, I mean crawling with assholes. On top of that, she’s the better cook-slash-baker out of the two of us, so I think she already has a good feel for what she’s getting into,” Natasha said. “It’s up to you, but you’d be doing us both a favor. I’m helping her find a job, you’re getting an employee who knows what she’s doing.”

Steve thought about it, just for a moment. The truth was that he would rather have someone he knew, and he wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. This was an opportunity, and he’d even go as far as to say that it was a sign.

Hell, Yelena was Nat’s sister. How was he supposed to turn either of them away?

Steve exhaled, slow and steady, and then nodded to no one. “You know what?” he said. “Yeah.. Definitely. That sounds good. When’s the soonest she can start?”

“How about Monday morning?” Yelena said, all but pulling the rug from under Steve’s feet. “I’m always on time and I can work under pressure. I promise. I know what I’m doing.”

“Did you have me on speaker the entire time?” Steve tried to ask incredulously, even as he smiled. “Isn’t that kind of cheating?”

“We’re sharing earbuds, actually, and you said yourself that you want her,” Natasha teased. “Now, you’re stuck with her.”

“If you remember, I’m a better person to be stuck with compared to her,” Yelena said. “Not nearly as annoying.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Steve chuckled. “Can you be here at eight-thirty, Yelena?”

“I can do eight-thirty,” Yelena said. “I’ll just steal your number from here. Thank you, by the way.”

“I think I should be the one thanking you,” Steve said. “You’ll be a big help.”

“And if you have any issues, just drop her on my doorstep,” Natasha cut in. Steve could hear Yelena mumble something in Russian, most likely a curse, since he recognized part of it from the times Natasha had uttered it herself.

“I’m gonna leave you guys to it,” Steve said. “Sounds like I’m intruding on something.”

“You might be,” Natasha said, and Steve could hear the smile in her voice. “Catch you later.”

“You’re the one who called—”

Natasha hung up, only the sound of bickering lingering in Steve’s ear.

“...Me,” Steve finished.

He set his phone down, bracing his crossed arms on the counter.

If it worked out with Yelena in the long-term, and he had a feeling it would, then Steve’s worries would lessen by a ton. All he would have to do is make deliveries and take care of the bakes, and maybe soon enough, baking would be all he had to do. Maybe this would finally break the ice when it came to hiring employees, give him the freedom he’d been looking for.

-

Steve walked over to the school to grab June, and from there, they headed back to the bakery. They didn’t stay open for very long, but hopefully, today would be the last time Steve had to close earlier than he wanted to.

Upstairs, he sliced up a sandwich for June as she told him about her day at school, and poured her a glass of water before setting both in front of her. He leaned against the back of one of the chairs, watching June as she assessed whatever Steve put into the sandwich before she took a bite.

From there, he told her about taking Yelena on, and how soon that would mean they could spend more time together. They talked about Thanksgiving with Sam, Sarah, and the rest of the Wilsons and how many days they would stay. When the conversation turned to Christmas, Steve couldn’t help thinking about what Bucky said over dinner. He wondered what the Barnes’ house looked like, wondered if it would be as busy as Bucky said, and if he would stick close to Steve during dinner. Rest his hand on Steve’s thigh or the small of his back, let him lean close on the sofa as the bustle died down.

“When’re we gonna hang out with Bucky again?” June asked, seeming to read Steve’s mind. “He’s really cool.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “Yeah, he’s a cool guy,” he said. “He’s out of town right now, but once he’s back, we can figure something out. He told me he might have a few ideas, but he didn’t tell me what they were.”

June gave him a look. “Not even a hint?” she asked.

“Not even a hint,” Steve said. “But we’ll have fun, I know that. All three of us.”

June seemed satisfied with that answer, and Steve felt a little relieved. He made his own lunch and sat with June, trying to decide where the rest of the day would take them.

-

It was relatively simple. Picking up a few supplies from the store, coming home and making the easiest dinner his tired brain and body could muster, and trying not to fall asleep as he folded laundry.

By the time June was in bed and the apartment was clean, Steve rang Bucky’s phone, only to receive a text as the line disconnected.

‘Sorry, we’re working until late,’ it read. ‘Missing you. I’ll call tomorrow night :)’

‘That makes two of us,’ Steve replied. ‘Talk soon :-)’

The truth is that Steve would have more than likely fallen asleep on the line with him, and he wanted to be awake and aware when he spoke to Bucky. Seeing him in person would be so much better, and despite it only being a couple of days, Steve missed him. Knowing he was away just made it even more intense, and Steve just needed…

He just needed him close again.

-

Steve’s day was relatively the same, save for some small changes.

He drove June to school rather than walking her, just to save a little more time. He’d only prepared half of his menu, mostly since he knew he’d have some extra time to work on the rest with Yelena around to help, so he tried his best not to be in such a rush.

By the time he parked the car and walked back to the bakery, keys in hand, he found Yelena coming from the opposite direction and quickly checked his watch before unlocking the door. She was five minutes early, as it turned out. That eased Steve’s worries, and he waved at her as she came toward him, following him inside.

The last time Steve saw her was only a few years ago, but now, Yelena just seemed so different, far from the kid he remembered, despite her only being three years younger than Natasha.

“Hey, thank you so much for doing this,” Steve said, as if he wasn’t the one who hired her. “I already know you’ll be a big help, Yelena.”

Yelena was a bright yellow spot in the bakery thanks to her pea coat. “Oh, I will,” she said confidently. She had more piercings than Steve remembered, covering both her ears, and another on her brow. “And I’ll help out with more than just the front. This is for you, by the way. You look like you need it.”

It was then that Steve noticed her hands were full, and she handed him one of the hot styrofoam cups she held. He took the other from her, setting it on the counter. “You didn’t have to do that,” Steve said. “Thanks.”

“I got it with three sugars,” Yelena said, shrugging off her jacket. “That’s how Natasha said you took it. Unless she lied.”

Steve huffed a quiet laugh through his nose. “I doubt she’d mess up your first day at a new job,” he said. “Anyway, Natasha said you can bake, too. What made you pick it up?”

“I needed a hobby,” Yelena said. As she spoke, Steve turned the lights on, pulled the blinds up, and flipped the open sign around. “And since this isn’t the time to downplay my skills, I’ll be honest. I’m good. Very good. I almost opened a business from my apartment last year, but it was too much work. I’ll just show you a few pictures as an example.”

She whipped her phone out and opened her photos, swiping through picture after picture. One was a dish of miniature pavlovas, another was bright green pistachio macarons, a tray of croissants, mont blancs, a crusty baguette, and then what looked like a victoria sponge cake, topped with a dusting of powdered sugar.

Steve raised his brows. “Yelena, this looks less like a hobby and more like a professional job,” he said, stunned. “When did you learn to do this? I can’t do croissants.”

That got her to smile back, pleased with herself. “I don’t know if you stress bake considering it’s your job, but I do,” Yelena said. “I told you, I know what I’m doing.”

Any lingering worry Steve had quickly dissipated, and he stood up straighter. “Well, come on,” he said. “I’ll show you what I’ve got going on back here. I need to clean up a little, but it’s a pretty good set-up.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be better than my kitchen,” Yelena said, following him back. “Imagine baking in a closet.”

“Been there, done that,” Steve said. “Figuratively, of course.”

Yelena groaned. “God,” she said. “I forgot you’re a dad. I’ll mentally prepare myself for the dad jokes. And remember to pretend they’re funny.”

It made him laugh. The last thing Steve wanted was to appear intimidating. His ma was always friendly with employees when she had them, even when she was clearly established as the one in charge, so why would Steve ever be hard on someone when that was the furthest thing from who he was? On top of that, he knew Yelena to begin with. How could he ever be anything but kind?

“That’s miles ahead of my daughter, so you’re off to a good start,” Steve said.

“At least she’s honest,” Yelena said. “So, what else is on the menu today?”

Steve thought about it for a moment. “How do you feel about the macarons you showed me?” he asked.

“As long as you have what I need, we can get started,” Yelena answered, arms resting against the counter. “I can have them ready for the afternoon.”

Just like that, Steve knew this was for the best. He passed Yelena an apron, and then he began the tour of the kitchen.

Chapter Text

The week flew by and Yelena took to the bakery like a fish to water. 

They met outside every morning and got to work soon after, prepping and baking and building the menu throughout the day, and their time together was either filled with easy silences or constant conversation.

From what Steve had been told, Yelena had been in high volume environments plenty of times, and she was good with the customers, both new and old. The only thing Steve had to do was show her how to use the stand mixers, which it turned out she didn’t own, meaning she made everything entirely by hand, which was more impressive than she wanted to admit.

Macarons were becoming a consistent item on the menu, growing quickly in popularity. Yelena made them in the usual dip of quiet that always fell over the bakery, around the later hours of the morning, and Steve watched as she worked on the macarons, filling a piping bag and squeezing circles out onto the baking mat as Steve asked what made her decide to act on the suggestion of working at the bakery, one Natasha surely made multiple times.

It turned out that Yelena moved out of her old apartment and as much as she wanted to stay in New York, it was becoming hard to keep up with rent and she needed a day job on top of the part-time shifts she picked up at a sports bar in the East Village. Maybe it was Steve’s parental instincts kicking in, but the idea of her working at a bar late at night, possibly around a few white-collar assholes or rich scumbags from NYU who felt entitled to flirting with any woman who breathed near them, rubbed him the wrong way. 

“I can take care of myself, believe me,” Yelena said, calmly piping out circles of batter. “Go for the eyes, go for the nuts, blah blah blah. I have pepper spray and a self defense keychain in my bag.”

Steve raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, I trust you,” he said. “Just saying, though. If you ever need a ride home, it’s no trouble.”

“I’ll be fine, Steve,” Yelena said lightly. “You can pocket the dad instincts.”

“Easier said than done,” Steve said.

It was nice, having someone else around. especially when there was the element of familiarity he had with Yelena. Going in blind with a complete stranger would have worked out with time, but evidently, he needed more help than he initially thought.

When the bakery began to smell like pistachios and raspberry jam, Steve leaned against the counter out front and pulled up a text from Natasha.

How’s the newbie doing?

Steve smiled a little at that. I think she’s beating me at my own game, he replied, and then sent another message off. I can’t thank you enough, Nat.

Thank me by coming over soon. I miss you and my favorite (only) niece.

Steve took a steadying breath. He felt better than he did just a little while ago. The past few days already felt like they had more structure. All he had left to do today was pick up June, and eventually clean up the kitchen. Maybe he’d get their dinner delivered tonight, leave it up to June this time.

It had been days since he’d spoken to Bucky, who promised to be home yesterday. They’d only been communicating in a few texts sent back and forth, which is how Steve knew he would be a day late, but the extra day left him more than a little eager to see him again, so hopefully they’d see each other tonight or tomorrow, depending on how Bucky felt.

Steve picked June up from school with a sense of ease. He stopped on the way over and made a key for Yelena. Having her at the bakery was a relief, and Steve had no worries about running up to the apartment for a little while now, fixing June some lunch and managing to eat something himself, not realizing just how hungry he was until he finished. 

He needed to remember to eat more often. More food, less caffeine. It was easier said than done, but even as busy as Steve was, he knew he had to keep his health in check. Even though he knew he could rely on Sam and Natasha, Steve couldn’t take a single risk when he was all June had.

They headed down to the bakery after a little while, and June did her homework at one of the tables after he’d introduced her to Yelena, who she immediately warmed up to upon realizing she was Natasha’s sister.

At four-thirty, Steve and Yelena began cleaning up, which wasn’t too much work, thankfully. He cleaned out what was left in the display case and sent half a dozen of the muffins back with Yelena while June got her hands on the last of the macarons.

“Oh, man,” Steve said. “I think she just found a new obsession.”

Yelena snorted. “I’ll take it as a compliment,” she said, wiping the counter down as she glanced over at June. “How do those taste, Goldie?”

“Hey, Nat calls me that, too,” June said. “That’s ‘cause she called me Goldie first,” Yelena said, pointing to her own hair. “What flavor should I make next?”

June scrunched her nose up as she thought about it. “Strawberry?” she suggested. “No, wait. Vanilla.”

“Vanilla it is,” Yelena said, She pulled her apron off, hanging it on the hook behind her. “Is that everything?”

Steve continued lowering the blinds before turning around. “That’s everything,” he said. “You were...wow, you’ve been amazing, Yelena. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Neither do I,” Yelena said. “You know, I like it here already. It feels…” she shook her head. “Something about it feels good.”

Steve felt himself smile, something warm thrumming in the core of his chest. “Well, it feels good having you here,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, seven o’clock?”

“I might be even earlier now that I have a key,” Yelena said. “It’s no big deal. I don’t get much sleep anyway. I told you. Stress baker.”

“Right, of course,” Steve said. “Okay, then, get home safe.”

“Bye!” June said.

Yelena waved at her before she walked out, pulling her jacket on as she disappeared around the corner. Steve watched her go before he flipped the open sign over and sighed. 

“So,” he said. “Shop’s closed, homework’s done. Nothing else for either of us to do now, right?”

“Nope,” June said, already gathering her things up. “Let’s move out.”

Steve opened the door for her. “Yes, ma’am,” he said.

-

They ordered pizza and watched TV for a while, and midway through another game of cards, Steve’s phone rang, buzzing against the coffee table. At the sight of Bucky’s name on his caller ID, a sudden surge of excitement left his heart beating a little faster than before.

“Hey, give me a second, pal,” he told her as he stood up, walking a little ways away from the table.

Steve barely had time to say anything before Bucky’s voice filled the receiver. “I know, I know. I’ve been radio silent and I’m sorry,” he said. “But I’m home. I unpacked just now.”

“Buck, it’s fine,” Steve said. “Really, don’t worry about it. I’ve been busy too. I get it. I barely had any time to talk myself. You okay?”

“Just been a long day. Some sleep’ll fix me right up,” Bucky said around a yawn, then cleared his throat. “Hey, I know it’s spur of the moment, but do you have any time to hang out tomorrow? Both of you? Maybe see the Rangers game at Madison Square Garden?”

“Um,” Steve said. He turned around, pressing the phone to his shoulder. “June?” he began, and her head immediately whipped up. “Bucky wants to know if you want to see a hockey game with us tomorrow.”

June nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah?” Steve asked.

June grinned. “Duh,” she said.

Steve lifted the phone back up to his ear. “Okay,” he said, stifling a grin of his own. “Okay, we’re both in.”

“I’ll meet up with you guys at about five,” Bucky said, sounding much lighter than before. “Think we’ll have some fun.”

“We will,” Steve said, and then much quieter, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said warmly. “Me neither. You might get sick of me by tomorrow, though. I ain’t exactly on my best behavior at Rangers games.”

“I can live with that,” Steve laughed. “I’ll talk to you more when I see you?”

“Works for me. I feel half-dead right now, anyway,” Bucky said. “Fuckin’ vampire of a state. Wiped me right out.”

“Yeah, and it’s not because you’ve been busy for a week straight,” Steve teased. “Go ahead, get some sleep. I’ll see you soon.”

“Dress warm, alright?” Bucky said. “See you tomorrow.”

When Steve hung up, he felt giddy.  Hell, he felt lucky that things were going as well as they were, and he could only hope that continued tomorrow. Something told him it would.

“Okay, let’s get back to it,” Steve said as he sat back down. “You excited for tomorrow?”

“Are you?” June asked.

“Sure am,” Steve said, nudging her gently with his elbow. “Super excited.”

“Me too,” June said. “I bet I’m more excited than you. I’m super duper excited.”

“Okay, you got me beat,” Steve said. “But I’ll beat you on this. I know I will. ‘Go fish’ is my game.”

“Not for long,” June sing-songed. “Got any twos?”

-

When Steve’s alarm went off, he quickly silenced it and sat up, taking a long drink from the glass of water he’d left on the night stand before beginning his morning routine. He splashed cold, soapy water onto his face and brushed his teeth, hoping he’d feel at least a little more awake once he had some coffee. The moment he poured it, stifling a yawn, his phone rang. His brows furrowed at the sight of Yelena’s name, and he answered her call.

“Hello?” Steve said.

“Sorry, I’ll be there in five minutes,” Yelena said breathlessly. “I’m running late.”

“Yelena,” Steve said calmly. “Yelena, it’s five in the morning. I don’t need you here until seven.”

“You said your day starts at five, so my day starts at five,” Yelena said. “I told you I might come early yesterday and I can already bet we’ll have everything done if it’s both of us working. You hired me to help you, remember?”

Steve huffed, lips pulling up at the corners. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” he said. “I’ll meet you downstairs in a minute.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Yelena quipped.

They already had an easier dynamic than Steve expected, and he thought about that more when their phone call ended. It was almost like working with Natasha, save for a few changes, of course. Yelena was just as diligent as Natasha, and while Steve had always known she was somewhat of a firecracker thanks to the few times he’d met her, he liked it. She wasn’t afraid to say what was on her mind, and in the days they’d been working together, he found that they had a lot in common, which was nice. Steve was relieved that he wasn’t working with a stranger. 

Steve soon drained his coffee and pulled his sneakers on, heading downstairs. The diner wasn’t even open yet, and he couldn’t help hoping to see Bucky before they met up. Get a few minutes alone with him.

-

Steve and Yelena worked like a fine-oiled machine. 

The tasks that usually dragged throughout the morning were done in half the time. After dropping June off, Steve was able to actually work on making the new, official hours of the bakery and updating it online. He’d get signage taken care of, too. Replace the old decals on the door and give it a breath of fresh air. Yelena began working on the dough for her croissants, Steve began to prove a loaf of cinnamon bread, and as the afternoon rolled around, he found that half of the display case was empty. There were plenty of people buying in dozens and half-dozens, but it seemed that the bakery was having a good day. The tip jar was halfway full, the place was mostly clean, and God, Steve felt good.

He had a spring in his step as he got ready to pick June up. There was nothing left to do but sell what was left and then he and Yelena would work on closing up for the day together, so he waved at her as he stepped out and into the brisk, November air.

Steve only let June stay alone upstairs with her homework for a few minutes once they got home, returning downstairs to clean the kitchen as Yelena swept. He wiped down the now-empty display case inside and out, and made sure the ovens were off and by the time he flipped the open sign over and shut the blinds, barely any time passed at all.

Again, a fine-oiled machine.

“Heading home?” Steve asked as he and Yelena stepped outside.

Yelena groaned. “For now,” she said. “I have a shift at the bar tonight, ah—” she pointed at Steve. “My boss has my back there, too, you know. I’ll be fine.”

Steve only nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then,” he said.

“Yes, you will,” Yelena repeated. “Just follow the smell of croissants.”

They went their separate ways, and Steve went upstairs to find June parked in front of the TV, only half of her snack finished.

“Come on, Junebug, finish that up,” Steve said, ruffling her hair. “We’re gonna head out soon.”

June sighed. “Okay,” she said. She reached for her plate and continued into her stupor, eating all the while. Steve’s brows knitted together.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “I thought you liked PB&Js.”

Nothing but a shrug in response. “Can I have something else?” June asked.

The last thing Steve was going to do was protest and make her eat something she didn’t want, especially if she was hungry. “Come on, let’s take a look around,” he said. “We still have a little while.”

She settled for another grilled cheese, which Steve was finding himself making a lot lately. Maybe she was just having a picky phase, or growing out of some of her favorites. Steve supposed she wasn’t going to like the same things forever. It would just be another phase of trial and error when it came to food again, he supposed.

By the time Steve set June’s plate in the dishwasher, his phone pinged with a text from Bucky, saying that he’d be there in fifteen minutes, and that he’d be driving them into the city. Steve made sure to pull up June’s hair into a neater ponytail rather than salvaging her braid that had long since unraveled. He made sure she was wearing long sleeves and that she had layers on just in case she managed to get too warm under her coat. He repeated a similar process for himself since he was so susceptible to the cold, and then they headed downstairs to wait for Bucky. The sky was already getting darker, and as the wind blew by, Steve tucked June closer to him.

“Is it gonna be cold inside?” June asked.

“Pretty cold,” Steve said. “But you’ve got your hat and your gloves in your pockets if it gets too bad. I might be able to get us some hot chocolate, too.”

That seemed to do the trick, because June was herself again a moment later.

Hell, maybe she was catching onto Steve. June was a pretty perceptive kid, and it wasn’t like Steve was hiding the fact that he was in a relationship. He wasn’t lying to her, but how could he expect her to be perfectly fine right off the bat? Even if she was eager, he knew her being nervous was inevitable.

Bucky’s car rolled up just then, a big black Jeep. Steve almost expected him to have something sleeker, sportier, considering his tastes, but then again, having a roomier car made sense considering his family and stuffing the trunk with restaurant supplies. Bucky rolled down the passenger’s side window before leaning closer, eyes flickering between Steve and June.

“I’d ask if you guys are ready,” Bucky said. “But since you’re already here…”

“What can I say? We’re punctual,” Steve said, stepping closer. “Just ask June.”

June followed him up, standing on her tiptoes to wave at Bucky.

“Hey, pal,” Bucky said. “You excited for tonight? I was thinking about painting my face, but I think I would have looked pretty stupid out there.”

June laughed, instantly losing all the tension she previously held,  and the ice was broken all over again.

“Come on, let’s get a move on,” Steve told her, and then gave her a boost into the backseat after a moment, making sure she was buckled up. He slid into the passenger’s seat, shutting the door before settling in. “You sure we’re not gonna get stuck in traffic?”

“Nah, we’ll be alright,” Bucky said, flashing him a smile. “I’ve gone out this way plenty of times.”

As they drove off, Steve took a slow, steadying breath. He watched June from the rearview mirror, and when he found her distracted by looking out the window, he used it as an opportunity to reach for Bucky’s hand, warm and calloused and squeezing Steve’s own. His thumb swept over Steve’s knuckles before he let go, and it was enough. They’d find their time together now that Bucky was back.

-

The ride was a little long, but the time passed quickly with the sound of the radio and the near endless conversation. June was far more talkative this time around, and it stopped Steve from worrying about her so much. She was far from shy, but Steve didn’t want her to feel like she had to clam up or tone herself down, and it came as no surprise when Bucky knew exactly what to say to her. Not only because he was just that way with everyone, but having three younger sisters and many (emphasis on many, according to Bucky) younger cousins seems to have had its perks.

Bucky parked in a garage a few blocks away from the arena, but Steve didn’t mind the walk and evidently, neither did June. They never came into Manhattan much save for visiting Natasha, so June was understandably enthralled with the skyscrapers and storefronts, already getting set up for the holidays.

When the streets got busier, Steve leaned down and let June climb onto his shoulders. He’d rather have her on his head than have her hand slip out of his on a crowded street on his way into Madison Square Garden, of all places.

“You excited?” Bucky asked, staring up at her.

“Yup,” June said. “But I don’t know a thing about hockey.”

“Hey, no worries, I’ll tell you everything you need to know,” Bucky said. He stepped closer to Steve, running his hand over his back for just a moment. “I’m gonna take a picture. Ready?”

Steve’s stomach flipped over. “Sure, yeah,” he said. “Just make sure to send it to me.”

Bucky raised his phone up just as Steve told June to look at the camera. She folded her arms down on Steve’s head like it was a prop to pose on, and he found himself trying not to laugh as Bucky snapped the photo, walking all the while.

“Did I mess it up?” Steve asked.

Bucky had his eyes on his phone, and then he looked back at Steve with something like content in his gaze. “Nah,” he said. “Looks good to me.”

The line for will call moved quickly enough, and Steve only took June off his shoulders when they were about to get inside, letting her walk between Bucky and himself and holding her hand tightly as they made their way to their seats. As they walked through hallway after hallway, past concessions stands that were only getting more packed by the moment, Steve glanced over at Bucky, and then down at June, and felt something in his chest loosen and settle.

Steve would give anything if life could be this way all the time.

-

“Buck,” Steve said, stunned. “How much did you pay for these seats?”

They weren’t front row by any means, but they were on the first floor and close enough to see everything clearly. Bucky only shook his head. “Consider it an early Christmas present,” he said. “I mean it, Steve, don’t worry about it.”

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but June beat him to it. “Hey, Bucky?” she asked. “Can you tell me how the game works?”

Bucky gave Steve a look, and he seemed to be smiling from his eyes more than his lips, those familiar crinkles at the corners appearing that showed just how happy he was. “Sure I can,” he said, attention back on June, who was sat between him and Steve. “So, see these two nets over here? There’s one for each team, one for the Rangers and one for the Penguins. Point is for one team to get the hockey puck into the other team’s net by skating around and using their hockey sticks to make that happen. That’s just the basics, but any questions you got, I’ll answer ‘em.”

“So, it’s kinda like soccer?” June asked. “My friend, Cassie, plays soccer and I watch her games sometimes. They’re really fun.”

Bucky arched a brow at her, surprised. “Yeah, it’s a lot like soccer,” he said, smile widening in measures. “Basically. As long as you know a little about that, I think you’ll like hockey a whole lot.”

After that, June seemed far more interested in watching the zamboni driver on the ice and talking to the little girl a row ahead, leaning forward in her seat to do so. Steve took it as an opportunity to lean closer, talking just loud enough for Bucky to hear.

“This was…” he began. “This is amazing, Bucky. I don’t even know how to thank you.”

“Do me a favor and don’t thank me,” Bucky said, reaching for Steve’s hand again. “I’d say I’ll take a kiss, but maybe we’ll save that for tomorrow.”

He said it with a wink and Steve wanted so badly to move closer, to lean into him, but he just held onto Bucky’s fingers instead. “Works for me,” he said. “Never got the chance to tell you, but I hired someone while you were gone, so I’m not losing my mind too badly right now.”

“What? That’s great,” Bucky said, and he shook Steve’s shoulder lightly. “Really, Stevie. That’s amazing.”

The nickname left Steve feeling that buzz of comfort he was quickly beginning to associate with Bucky, and he hoped cold had left his cheeks flushed enough that his blush didn’t show too badly.

“So, tell me something,” Bucky continued. “Does that mean I can come by more often?”

Steve let out a surprised laugh. “Believe me, I’d have you come over every day if I could.”

“Long as you’ll have me, I can make that work,” Bucky said.

Steve was surprised to feel the brush of Bucky’s lips against his fingers, but they were gone just as quick. It was affectionate. It left Steve’s heart swelling, and for a moment, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Bucky. He watched him in the dimming lights of the arena, and Bucky looked right back at him, barely paying attention to the people around them before the moment was broken and they both turned to the sight of the game getting started.

“Look!” June said over the sudden noise, standing right in front of him and Bucky. “Guys, look!”

Steve stood up with her. “We’re looking, We’re looking, I promise,” he said, chuckling. “You excited?”

June nodded quickly, and she stood on her toes in front of him, leaving Steve standing shoulder to shoulder with Bucky, who bumped his elbow gently into Steve’s side. “What about you?” Bucky asked. “You having a good time?”

Steve smiled. “Nowhere else I wanna be,” he said, and listened to the sounds of the crowd around them.

-

The game was a major sweep for the Rangers, and the fans, Bucky included, were wild about it. “Five to zero!” he shouted in Steve’s ear, dragging him closer. “Five to fuckin’ zero!”

It was loud enough in the arena that only Steve could hear it, and the grip Bucky soon had on either side of his face was far from rough, but this was the closest he could get without pushing it, so Steve grabbed him right back. He’d never been to a game, and the fact that their team won at his first one was definitely cause for excitement.

“Did we win?” June yelled over the noise.

“Yeah, pal, we won,” Steve laughed, trying to discreetly untangle himself from Bucky.

“June, let’s hear your best scream. Follow my lead,” Bucky said. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Go Rangers!”

“Go Rangers!” June repeated, even louder than Bucky.

“That’s the spirit,” Bucky told her. “You guys ready to get out of here?”

Steve grabbed June’s hand. Everyone else was already filing out, so he shrugged before following after Bucky, holding onto June as they began their slow, slow walk upstairs. It took a long time before they were out, walking back the way they came, and as they came by a store selling Rangers merchandise, Bucky leaned in close, arm pressing against Steve’s.

“How about I get her something from the store?” he said. “Come on, every kid’s gotta have something to remember their first game.”

Steve shook his head. “I think it’ll make her pretty happy,” he said. “Just don’t feel like you need to buy her, you know? She likes you as it is, Buck.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, and a smile pulled at his lips. “Hey, you. Blondie Jr., wanna check the store out?”

June looked up at Steve. “Can I?” she asked.

“Go ahead,” Steve said, nodding toward the store. “I’ll hang back over here, if that’s okay.”

That was all June needed to hear, evidently, because she took Bucky’s offered hand only a second later. “Thanks, Dad,” she said.

“Not gonna be too long,” Bucky said. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

Steve leaned against a wall close by, watching them head inside and feeling warmth swell in his chest all the while.

They got along. In a way Steve didn’t expect to see happen for months. June took to Bucky easily, and it was the same the other way around. Steve was sure knowing each other prior to all of this helped, but Christ, he needed someone to pinch him at this point. He couldn’t ask for more.

If things remained on the same path they were currently on, Steve could explain everything to June soon. There was no doubt in Steve’s mind about that needing to happen, so maybe after their trip to visit Sam. Her seeing Bucky more frequently for the next couple of weeks would help with the transition, make his presence in their lives more comfortable before he broke the news.

Even as nervous as he was, some of that dissipated when June and Bucky came back. In her hand was a stuffed bear with a Rangers jersey, and on her head was a blue knit cap with a red pom-pom on top, the team logo right on the front of the hat.

“Dad!” June shouted, waving Steve down. “Dad! Look what Bucky got me!”

“Wow, look at you,” Steve said. He tugged on her pom-pom as he took a look at her. “Did you say thank you?”

“Thanks so much, Bucky,” June said, and Steve was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his middle. “I love it.”

“Hey, no problem, doll,” Bucky said, chuckling as he hugged her back. “Ain’t no problem at all.”

He met Steve’s eyes with a surprised expression, and Steve only mouthed told you so to him, which only had his own smile getting a little wider, just as Bucky’s did the same.

-

June began to doze off in the first ten minutes they were back in the car, eyes falling shut and head lolling as she tried and failed to stay awake, but it was obvious she wasn’t going to try to for much longer, and as Bucky navigated the traffic, the radio playing softly, he eventually broke the silence that fell over them.

“She still awake?” Bucky asked quietly.

Steve craned his head toward the backseat and found June sound asleep, head tipped back against the seat. It was long past her bedtime to begin with. “Out like a light,” Steve said, settling further into his seat. Steve watched Bucky, watched the lights of the city wash over him, before he finally found himself ready to speak. “I had a great time tonight, Buck. We both did.”

Bucky glanced back at him. “I wanted to do something nice for you, both of you,” he said. “What kind of guy would I be if I tried to assume you and June weren’t a package deal? And it’s a good deal, too. A real good one, Steve.”

“I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” Steve said after a pause, swallowing tightly. “You know, my life isn’t easy sometimes, but I’m happy with where I am. I don’t think anyone gets what I mean when I say that.”

At first, Bucky was silent. He slowed down at a red light, and he reached for Steve’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “I do,” Bucky said with so much conviction it left Steve reeling. “Believe me, I do.”

He held onto Steve’s hand tightly, a silent promise as he met his eyes. I’m here. I have you. I won’t let you go. 

-

When they pulled up to Steve’s door, they both got out and lingered in the cold as Steve grabbed his keys and unlocked the downstairs door. His breath fogged in the cold and he wanted nothing more than getting inside and into the warm cocoon of his bed.

“Hey, do you want me to…?” Bucky asked, nodding to the car.

Steve rubbed his hands together in an attempt to chase some of the cold away. “If you’re sure,” he said. “She’s a pretty heavy sleeper, so don’t worry about waking her up.”

Bucky headed back toward the car, quietly opening the back door. Steve watched his every move, watched him gathering June up into his arms with her coat draped over her back like a blanket. Her cheek was pressed against his shoulder and Steve could tell she was still sleeping deeply. He was relieved she wore comfortable clothes to the game, leggings and a long sleeved shirt under her many layers, and would have inevitably been used as pajamas soon enough. He would just be expediting their journey by letting her sleep as she was.

He let Bucky step inside first, and they both walked in as quietly as possible. Bucky was effortless in his movements as he climbed the stairs. He hitched June a little further up his shoulder upon reaching the landing, and Steve unlocked the front door and stepped inside, taking June’s coat from Bucky and setting it on the hook.

“Her room’s right down here,” Steve whispered, and Bucky followed him down the hall, footsteps slow and creaking against the floor.

In June’s room, Steve pulled her bedcovers back and moved aside so Bucky could set her down. He did so gently, easing June’s head onto her pillow before pulling the blanket over her shoulders. She turned onto her side in the same moment, tucking half her face under the covers.

Steve’s heart squeezed almost painfully.

“You didn’t lie about her being a heavy sleeper,” Bucky said quietly, slipping his hands into his pockets “Guessing we should leave her be.”

Steve nodded before he met Bucky’s gaze. “Yeah, I think you’re right,” he said. “You can go ahead, I’ll be there in a second.”

Bucky nodded before he left the room, and Steve stood behind only to smooth June’s hair out of her eyes and turn the light off. After that, he quietly stepped out, leaving her bedroom door open just a crack.

As Steve walked down the hall, he found himself pulled into his own bedroom by the wrist. “Where do you think you’re going?” Bucky asked, teasing. Steve let himself be backed against the door as it quietly shut, doing his best to stifle the sound he almost yelped out. “Come on, get over here.”

The kiss was far from urgent, demanding absolutely nothing, but it felt good. Bucky’s hands on his hips felt even better. It chased the cold right out of Steve’s body and he hummed into it just before it ended, feeling more than a little dizzy with it. Steve wanted to hold on tight and never let go.

“Hi,” Steve breathed out.

Bucky’s smile was crooked on his mouth. “How’s it going?” he asked.

“Better now,” Steve said. He leaned forward to kiss Bucky’s chin. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Bucky said, and he managed to steal another kiss, hands roaming upward, stroking over Steve’s sides as he spoke. “Missed you like crazy. ‘S what we get for going from seeing each other two, three times a day to a week of nothing at all. I think we gotta make up for that.”

“Looks like it,” Steve said. “I’ll have more time in the afternoons now that I have Yelena helping me out.”

“I can get away during my break,” Bucky said. “I’m willing to deal with that if you are.”

“I’ll make it work,” Steve told him, smiling against his lips. “We can just see where we go from there. How long can you stay tonight?”

Bucky hummed. “You know I’d stay over, but I’m not gonna overstep,” he said. “How’s this, you got me for a couple more hours. I have a few errands to run in the morning and I don’t want to keep you up too long, anyway.”

Steve nodded in agreement. “Sorry if that sounds too…” he shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been wanting to see you.”

“Hey, don’t you think I feel the same way?” Bucky said. “All I could think about while I was gone was how much I wanted to be back here with you.”

He leaned forward, trailing his lips all along the side of Steve’s face as he spoke. “You know, there’s plenty I’ve been wanting to talk about with you,” he continued. “All good things, but I think I’m gonna save it for a little while longer, if that’s alright.”

Of course, it piqued Steve’s curiosity but he didn’t press for more. Bucky would tell him in time, and Steve would be patient until then. So, he leaned into the kisses pressed into his skin, down over his neck, and wrapped one arm around Bucky’s shoulders.

“Whatever it is, we’ll talk about it,” Steve said. “Whenever you want.”

Bucky lifted his head and pulled Steve into another kiss. One that felt more intense than the others. Solid. Steve sighed into it, and thought of nothing but the path of Bucky’s hands for a while.

-

At midnight, Bucky got ready to leave, quietly slipping out the door and stealing one more kiss from Steve before he began his drive home. Steve watched the Jeep disappear down the street before he went back upstairs, getting ready for bed and feeling much, much better than he did before.

When he got into bed and shut the lights off, his phone buzzed against the nightstand and he lifted it up, squinting at the brightness and swiping at the notification.

It was a text from Bucky. More specifically, it was a picture, and Steve’s breath nearly caught at the sight of it.

The lights of the city were bright and warm, reflecting over the faces of Bucky, Steve, and June, who had her arms crossed on top of Steve’s head as she grinned her toothy smile. Bucky’s smile crinkled at his eyes, and as Steve took a look at himself, he couldn’t help his surprise. 

He looked happy. He was beaming with it in a way he’d never noticed on his own face. Of course, he’d felt happy before but he’d never seen himself beaming with it. Something about the picture felt so right. It was hard to look away from. He never wanted to tear his eyes away. The three of them together looked so much like a family it was impossible not to assume they were one.

Hopefully one day, they would be.

Chapter Text

Steve’s week went the same as it always did, but the added presence of Bucky during the afternoons definitely made it better.

Bucky’s break started at eleven and lasted a half hour, and so Steve coordinated that with his own. He made sure to get to the apartment just as he saw Bucky leaving the diner, and sometimes he was all but chased up the stairs by Bucky when they met up, unable to keep away from each other. They alternated between doing nothing at all and doing as much as they possibly could over the course of thirty minutes, wasting absolutely no time at all.

Somewhere in that time, Steve booked a flight to New Orleans and called Sam a moment after. There was no point in getting a hotel when he had a bedroom to spare at his parents’ old house. That sounded better than anywhere else. Undivided time spent with Sam, early mornings and late nights, was just what Steve needed. The bakery was starting to make good money again, and he could afford to leave for a few days.

One day, after plenty of begging, Steve allowed June to spend the entirety of Sunday afternoon with Cassie Lang and stay for dinner before she was dropped back to Steve. Steve let Yelena go home early and took care of cleaning and closing up the bakery before he dialed Bucky, rubbing the nape of his neck and hoping Bucky wasn’t busy.

Bucky answered after the second ring. “Hey, I’m just putting groceries away,” he said. “Can I call you back?”

“Sure, but I’m free until seven,” Steve said. “Just letting you know.”

Bucky was silent for a moment. Steve heard nothing but the sound of bags rustling and the faint sound of other people talking. “Sure, I can help you with that,” Bucky said, and Steve made a face. “Just the couch or the rest of the furniture too?”

“Buck,” Steve began. “Are you talking to me or to—?”

“I’ll be there in twenty,” Bucky said. “But you owe me a beer when we’re finished.”

With that, he hung up. Steve wasn’t sure if he was completely perplexed or amused.

-

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer was ringing and Steve went to look out the window first, finding Bucky standing down below with his hands in his pockets. He ran back to the buzzer and answered it, brows knitted together.

“Come on up,” he said, and rung Bucky in.

Just as fast, the door clicked and Bucky’s heavy footsteps were ascending the stairs. Steve opened the door as he got closer, and Bucky shook his head, a barely there smile on his lips.

“Sorry, I’m sorry about being off on the phone,” he said as he stepped inside. Steve shut the door behind him. “Had a house full of people and I needed them to hear a good reason for me to up and leave. So now they think I’m in Queens helping a buddy of mine set up his new apartment.”

Steve couldn’t help laughing at that. “Jesus, Buck,” he said. “Why didn’t you just say you were coming over here to go over the next delivery?”

“Because that takes, what, twenty minutes?” Bucky said. He began taking his jacket off, hanging it up along with his hat. “I needed an excuse to be gone for a few hours. Now I’ve got you for more than the blink of an eye.”

“Looks like it,” Steve said. “So, what do we do now?”

“Beats me,” Bucky said. “Any suggestions?”

-

The first hour ended up being spent doing nothing at all, which was nicer than Steve expected. They grabbed lunch and sat with their ankles pressed together under the table, and then they walked back to Steve’s apartment as the sky grew even cloudier. They were going to get a patch of cold rain throughout the week, which wouldn’t be necessarily good for business. Steve’s block seemed to be affected by even the briefest bit of bad weather, but then again, he wouldn’t be in Brooklyn to stress over it.

“You all sorted for NOLA yet?” Bucky asked once they arrived inside.

Steve put a pot of coffee on, eager to chase the cold away. He grabbed two cups from the cabinet and set them down as he spoke. “Printed our tickets out last night,” he said over the gurgle of the coffee maker. “We’ll leave Wednesday evening and get back Sunday night, so I’m just trying to get everything in order now. Won’t have to worry too much if I do.”

The trip was creeping up on him fast, and so was his excitement. It had been an entire year since he’d seen Sam in person, and he wanted to make the most of it. Spend as much time as possible doing nothing at all, helping him with dinner, or sneaking away for a few hours to get some time to themselves.

Just a few more days, Steve told himself.

He was surprised to feel Bucky’s arms slide around his waist, his chest pressing tightly up against Steve’s back. “You know, it ain’t any trouble dropping you off,” he said against the shell of his ear. “Or picking you up. I can do both. It’s not like you’re bothering me.”

“Buck, we’re leaving from Newark. You really think I’m gonna make you go into Jersey again?” Steve asked, half-joking.

“For you, I’d deal with Jersey any time,” Bucky said. “I’d move there if it meant being closer to you.”

“Wow,” Steve said. “You know, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Oh, come on, cut me some slack,” Bucky said. “I say plenty of nice things to you. Do plenty of nice things, too. I’m a true romantic, Rogers.”

“That so?”

“What, you don’t believe me?” Bucky asked. “Do I gotta prove it?”

Steve turned in the circle of Bucky’s arms to meet his eyes, hands splaying over his chest. “Maybe,” he said. “What’s wrong with wanting to be swept off my feet?”

“Interesting choice of words,” Bucky said, and the next thing Steve knew, he was hoisted up onto the counter before he even had any time to react. Bucky came to stand between his thighs, tugging their bodies close together. “But your wish is my command.”

He leaned in to seal their lips together and Steve hummed softly into it, a sound that quickly turned to a grunt of surprise as Bucky lifted him off the counter and into his arms, gripping Steve just under his bottom as Steve crossed his ankles behind his back.

“Jesus, Bucky,” Steve laughed, head dipping forward with it. His arms circled around Bucky’s neck. He felt his stomach flip over at the feeling of being held so close, so tightly, and the solidness of Bucky’s body pushed up against his own.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you wanted to be swept off your feet,” Bucky said. “I’m only doing what you asked.”

“So, what’s your plan now that you did it?” Steve asked.

Bucky was already walking down the hall, headed right for Steve’s room. “I can give you a couple guesses,” he said, a smirk on his lips, one that only faded when Steve leaned in to steal another kiss.

By the time it broke, Bucky was lowering Steve down onto the bed. He crawled over him, already half-hard and poking against Steve’s thigh. His lips trailed down Steve’s jaw, and God, Steve couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spine. He found himself rubbed red by Bucky’s scruff more often than not in the past week. Over his thighs, his throat, his chest, but he only tilted his head up, seeking the sensation out. He breathed out something like Bucky’s name as his eyes fell shut, and he let himself relax with it, wanting nothing more than to feel Bucky overwhelming all of his senses.

-

Steve felt like he’d been unwound completely, like he could breathe a little easier once they were finished.

They remained only half-dressed. With the heat blasting through the apartment and the comfort of Bucky beside him, Steve was more than happy. Peaceful, even. They were still tangled up together, but they’d long since moved to the couch. The sunlight warmed Steve up as it streamed through the windows, even as weak as it was, and being wrapped up in the circle of Bucky’s arms as the afternoon drifted by felt like the easiest thing in the world.

“You sure you don’t have to get back soon?” he asked, chin resting against Bucky’s chest.

Bucky shook his head. His fingers were smoothing through Steve’s hair, massaging his scalp as he looked down at him. “Told you we have plenty of time,” he said. “The girls are out, Becca’s getting her Christmas shopping started with her fianc é, my folks are visiting my aunt. Sunday is everyone’s free day, so we always end up scattering all over the place. Next week’s gonna be chaos, so even if you were in town, I doubt I’d be able to see much of you. Lotta people, lotta food, lotta yelling.”

“I’m still gonna keep in touch,” Steve said. “Even if you’re busy.”

“You better,” Bucky said, and leaned down to kiss the corner of Steve’s jaw. “We’ll make up for it once you’re back. Promise.”

Steve nodded before he spoke again, finally saying the thing that had been rattling around in his mind. “I think I need to tell June about us,” he said, keeping his eyes on Bucky. “Not now, but...it needs to be done. I can’t keep leaving her in the dark, Buck. The guilt’s starting to eat me up.”

Bucky exhaled slowly. “You know, you don’t need to rush it if you don’t feel like it’s the right time,” he said. “I’m more than fine with being seen as your friend for as long as necessary.”

“Thing is, I don’t know how long that’s gonna work. She’s smart, so she’ll be onto us eventually,” Steve said. “If she doesn’t, I’ll slip up and say something, or she’ll overhear me on the phone with you and start making her own assumptions. If we’re going all in, I need to make sure she knows it.”

“And you think she’ll be okay with it?” Bucky asked. “Look, let’s be honest for a minute. For June’s whole life, she’s only ever had you. You’re right there with her all the time, every step of the way. I can’t imagine it’s gonna be easy for her to adjust to me being around more often once she realizes what that means. She might feel like she’s not your whole world anymore ‘cause that’s just the way kids are, and that’ll happen no matter when you tell her or how you do it. I’m all for it. I don’t like sneaking around her either, but I don’t want to make her feel like her whole world’s turning upside down.”

Hell, Bucky was right. He had to find the right way to tell June. He had to realize that no matter how long he waited to say anything, whether that was two weeks or six months or even longer, it would take her time to adjust to the fact that Steve and Bucky were together. Steve refused to hide the truth from her, but at the same time, he couldn’t help being terrified of her being upset.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Steve said. “And I’m worried because I’ve been there. My ma didn’t date much when I was younger, but I remember being so scared that things were gonna start changing if she did. I’d drive myself crazy wondering if we’d move, if the guy would end up being a jerk, if I had to start at a new school...” he shook his head. “That’s why I wanted her to hang out with us, get to know you better. I don’t want her to feel like it’s us versus her, she should feel like we’re...I dunno, like we’re —”

“A team,” Bucky finished. “Trio, group, whatever label you put on it. I get it, Steve. That’s what I want her to see, too. It’s why I want to be around more, tag along with you two when you go out or be the one to take you both out. She’s an amazing kid, and I want her to know I see that. See it’s not just your life I want to be part of.”

One of Steve’s fears had always been ending up with someone June didn’t get along with, even when he knew he would never choose anyone else over her, or someone who wasn’t willing to open himself up to her, but Bucky was quickly and effortlessly quashing all of those fears away with his steady presence and the way he took to June, the way he made sure to make her feel important in his presence. Bucky was good to her to begin with, and while Steve appreciated it before, he couldn’t help being utterly enthralled by it now.

Steve breathed out, doing his best to steady himself. “You’re…” he shook his head. “You really are something else, Bucky.”

A slight smile spread over Bucky’s lips. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said.

“Lucky for you, it was a compliment to begin with,” Steve said before leaning closer, nose brushing against Bucky’s before he sealed their mouths together in a soft kiss. “God, I wish I could think of the right time to do it. I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing.”

Bucky traced patterns into the skin of Steve’s neck. The path of his fingers was gentle despite the slight roughness of them. “I know you’re gonna make sure she’s okay no matter what,” he said. “And whatever you decide, whatever happens, I want to be in the loop.”

Steve nodded, leaning into Bucky’s touch when it trailed to his cheek. Bucky’s expression shifted into something more serious, something almost reverent, but he was back to the way he was a moment before, still pinning Steve in place with his gaze.

“It’s gonna work out,” Bucky told him. It sounded confident, easing some of Steve’s worries. “And you have plenty of time to figure out what to say, so let’s just focus on today. I still have to figure out breaking the news to everyone at home, so we’ll just put it on the backburner for now. How’s that sound?”

“Think that’s for the best, yeah,” Steve said. “We’ll get it done.”

“You already know we will,” Bucky said. He pressed his lips over the space between Steve’s eyebrows, on the bridge of his nose. It was affectionate, and in a way that made Steve crave more of those little intimate moments they were beginning to have more and more of.

Steve had a feeling that things would work themselves out in the long run. Whatever the case, he and Bucky would figure it out together, not apart.

-

The rest of their day was simple, but so utterly relaxing that Steve felt drunk on it. His muscles were devoid of tension, he had nothing weighing on his mind, and there was nothing for him to do but simply be.

At seven o’clock sharp, not long after they finished their ordered in dinner, the buzzer rang and Steve rushed up to answer it. It was more than likely one of the Paxtons dropping June off. “Hello?” he said.

“Steve?” Maggie said, voice crackling through the speaker. “Hi, it’s Maggie. I’m just sending June up, if that’s okay. I’m double-parked and I can’t stay too long.”

He glanced over at Bucky, who was sat on the couch. He shrugged at Steve, as if to say what?

Evidently, he didn’t mind being seen at the apartment. If Steve acted like it was nothing, maybe June would, too.

“Yeah, no problem, let me buzz you up,” he said, and opened the door just in time to watch June waving Maggie goodbye. She flashed Steve a quick smile and a wave before she was gone, and then June was rushing up the stairs.

“C’mon, Junebug, get up here,” Steve said, and he met her in the doorway with a quick hug. She was cold, even with her jacket on, and he instinctively tried to warm her up by running his hands up her arms. “How was your day? Did you have fun?”

June glanced over his shoulder instead. “When did Bucky get here?” she asked, brows knitted together.

Maybe it was the part of Steve still anxious about the inevitable conversation they’d have to have getting caught off-guard about the question, or maybe June really was suspicious but regardless, he swallowed his worries down as he shut the front door, eyes still on her.

“Earlier today,” Steve said. “I figured since you spent the day with your friend, I’d hang out with mine.”

“Well, did you have fun?” June asked with a funny sort of smile. It almost sounded like she was teasing him.

Steve helped her out of her coat as he answered. “Not as much fun as we would have had with you,” he said.

“Got pretty boring here without you, kiddo,” Bucky said, and then his smile broadened. “Hey, you’re wearing your new hat.”

“Yup, the pom-pom kinda matches my coat,” June said, pointing at it and then her coat being hung on the rack. “See? Hey, did dad tell you we’re going to New Orleans for Thanksgiving? Last year it was just me and Dad and Natasha, but this’ll be way more fun. Last time we went to visit Sam, we went fishing but Dad freaked out when he reeled a fish up and it started flopping all over the place.”

She laughed her real, genuine laugh, giggling through the story and covering her mouth with both her hands.

“I did not freak out,” Steve clarified, pointing at June. “She’s lying.”

“Am not,” June argued, head whipping back toward Bucky, continuing in a stage whisper. “He screamed real loud.”

“June,” Steve chuckled. “Come on, that’s not fair.”

“Yeah, let’s cut your dad some slack,” Bucky said despite laughing himself. “We’re city people, June. Only fish we’ve ever seen are in tanks at the pet store.”

Steve came close to her again, making sure to give her another squeeze. He kissed her temple, even as her nose scrunched up. “Hey, I ordered you something special,” Steve said. “Wanna go wash your hands before I show you?”

June was already making a beeline for the bathroom, and Steve couldn’t help wondering if she ate anything at all for dinner. He hoped she just had some extra room, but there would be time to ask soon enough. God, this is why he preferred June’s friends coming over sometimes. At least he was able to check in as much as he needed to.

When Steve looked back over at the couch and met Bucky’s eyes, he was already standing up, using June looking through the fridge as a window to slip out. “Look, as much as I want to stay,” he began. “I’m gonna let her relax. Do her thing.”

Steve only nodded as Bucky stepped closer. He reached down to briefly lace their fingers together. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna make a point of that. The trip might be the best thing for her. I feel like with her being at school, me working, her seeing her friend…I think we could use some extra time together.”

The kiss Bucky gave him was quick, breaking with a quiet sound of their mouths. “You’re doin’ great,” he said. “Really, you are. You’re her whole world.”

Steve couldn’t help the sheepish smile that pulled at his lips. “Well, she’s my whole world, too,” he said. He rested his forehead against Bucky’s and then eased back before unlocking the front door. “Night, Buck.”

“G'night, Steve” Bucky said. “Tell June I said goodnight, too.”

Through the crack in the door, Bucky stole one final kiss, and then he was heading downstairs, out into the cold. Steve couldn’t help watching him go, only shutting the door when he heard June coming back into the living room.

“Did Bucky leave?” she asked.

Steve moved toward the kitchen, aware of June following him. “Yeah, pal, he had to get home,” he said. “He wanted me to tell you he said goodnight, though.”

June only hummed, resting her crossed arms on the countertop.

Steve turned to look at her, head tilted. “You sure you’re okay, June?” he asked. “Come on, you know the rules. No secrets. Did something happen at Cassie’s?”

“No,” June all but whined. “I mean, yeah, but not really. I don’t know.”

“Come on, you can tell me,” Steve said gently, and he kneeled down to her level. “What happened?”

June sighed. “Cassie’s mom and her stepdad were fighting after dinner,” she said. “I think it was about Cassie’s dad, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying ‘cause we were upstairs. We were playing and then Cassie heard them too, and she started crying, so I gave her a hug and I told her it was okay, and I kinda cheered her up. I told her she can just come hang out with us next time, and that made her feel better, but...I guess I feel bad for her.”

Steve’s chest twinged, twisting up a little at the thought. He felt bad for Cassie, and at the same time, he couldn’t help feeling more than a little irritated at the fact that the Paxton’s argued in front of his kid and made her uncomfortable. He knew they were far from bad people but it was supposed to be a fun day for June. Not a stressful one.

“Hey, listen to me for a second,” Steve began. “You’re a good friend, June. A really good one for making sure she was okay, but do me a favor and call me if that ever happens, okay? You shouldn’t have to stay somewhere if you start feeling bad, no matter what.”

“But I didn’t wanna leave Cassie,” June said. “She’s my friend.”

“I know that,” Steve said. “Hey, I’ll make you a deal. Next time, I’ll take you two out for lunch or Cassie can come here after school. How’s that?”

June nodded. “I just didn’t know what they were fighting about,” she said.

The truth of it was June wasn’t exposed to much arguing between the adults in her life. Steve didn’t really argue with Natasha, or Sam, and even when he bickered with Sarah while she was alive, it never went past that point. 

“Whatever it was,” Steve said, pausing only to tuck a lock of hair back from her face. “It should have been private. Everyone argues, even when they love each other, but you shouldn’t have had to hear anything like that, and Cassie shouldn’t either.”

June only nodded. “Did you and mom ever argue?” she asked.

Even now, Steve felt lost on what to say when June asked about Peggy. What was there for Steve to say? He barely knew Peggy, and on the occasions June asked about her, he didn’t know the answer to some of her questions. How could he when they were almost entirely strangers to one another?

“Sometimes,” he said, shrugging. “Not always, but sometimes. We were…” he sighed. “We were just very, very different people, but we were also really young. That changes things sometimes.”

It was true, because they were young. Because the only times they weren’t angry with each other was when they weren’t speaking. It was true because their constant disagreements about the future always boiled over into full-blown fights. The only hope Steve had while Peggy was alive was that they could eventually come to some businesslike relationship as June grew older, even when the idea of June possibly spending months at a time in another country terrified him. It was a strained relationship with a stranger, but that wasn’t something he could ever tell June. Even when she grew older, he couldn’t ever hurt her.

“How young were you?” June asked, and Steve could see she was already beginning to latch onto another subject entirely. She tended to do so when her questions were answered, otherwise she’d be stuck on the same subject for hours.

“Pretty young, I guess,” Steve answered. “I was still in school.”

June’s eyes widened. “You went to school?” she asked.

“June, I was in college,” Steve chuckled. “I was turning twenty-one the year you were born.”

“What were you studying?” June asked, and she moved to the fridge as she spoke, tugging it open. “Was it something cool? Hey, you got Antonio’s!”

Steve stood up and looked inside with her. “Told you it was something special,” he said. “Come on, I’ll fix you a plate and we’ll keep talking.”

June went back to her original spot, leaning against the counter. Steve almost felt like their conversation was unfinished, but if June didn’t want to talk about any of it right now, Steve wouldn’t force her to. They had plenty of time to keep talking tonight, and over the next few days, too. Maybe he’d take her to a movie after school, or spend some time at the park if it wasn’t too cold.

“Anyway,” he continued. He took one of the two pizza boxes out of the fridge and grabbed a plate from the cabinet. “Yeah, I actually did study something cool. I was majoring in art and minoring in business. I wanted to work in museums, or maybe an art gallery. I still do, sometimes.”

“Why don’t you?” June asked. “You can just go back to college. You know Monica’s mom, Carol? She did that.”

In a way, Steve was baffled. He’d never even considered that, and out of all people, June suggested it.

Steve occupied himself with microwaving slices of pizza, just to get a hold of his thoughts and stop his head from spinning. “Maybe one day,” he said as he glanced back at her. “We’ll just have to see, I guess.”

Maybe somewhere down the line he’d think about it, but he couldn’t imagine it happening now. Once he had more employees, maybe. At the moment, his priorities were the bakery and the people he cared about. That was what he had room for. That was who he was right now, and he didn’t plan on changing that anytime soon. The time that had passed was a whirlwind, but it was making him more appreciative of what he had. Sure, Steve’s life was difficult sometimes, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So, he finished making June’s plate and sat down with her on the couch, letting her cuddle up close under his arm after she finished. “Wanna watch a movie?” she asked, neck craned up to look at him.

Steve nodded before handing her the remote. “Your pick,” he said. “Anything you want.”

June began scanning through the channels and Steve did his best to relax, taking a slow breath. Come Wednesday, they would be in New Orleans with Sam and his family, and the thought made Steve’s heart lurch with excitement. It had been far too long since he’d seen Sam, and spending a few days with him was exactly what he needed.

He tried to keep his mind on that and that only. He wouldn’t stress about anything tonight. Tonight would be about nothing but an evening in with June.

Chapter Text

On Monday, Steve didn’t see much of Bucky, and it wasn’t until the following day that he managed to snag some time with him, still feeling the phantom pressure of his lips against his skin long after he was gone. 

Tuesday night was all about packing his own luggage along with June’s and making sure everything was in order. He made sure to make a small sign to hang on the door of the bakery, and after that, he was finished. June still had school and their flight didn’t leave until eight, so it left time for Steve to tie up any loose ends, to make sure the bakery and the apartment were spotless.

Wednesday morning was relatively normal, but Steve didn’t have much to do what with being closed and lingering around for hours. Natasha was at work and he’d see her when she dropped Steve and June off at the airport, Bucky was busy, and he would see Sam later in the night, so there was no use getting in touch with him for quite a while.

Steve braved the weather and walked to June’s school, waiting for her to come out with his hands stuffed into his pockets. The air was so biting today he couldn’t help wondering if it was cold enough for a few flurries of snow, even if he wouldn’t be there to see it.

June came out and ran over to him, hair hidden under the hood of her puffer jacket. She waved at him before falling into step beside him, and then they began the bracing walk home, talking all the while. She seemed to have a good day, and she had no homework to do, which she was all smiles about. She deserved a break, too. They’d both been working hard enough.

Upon arriving home, Steve made a heavy lunch, one that could hold them over until they were at the airport, and they ate it at the coffee table while watching TV. Steve washed their plates, silverware, and the pot and pan before putting all of it away. He made sure to pack a few snacks in June’s backpack, just in case she wanted them, and the moment he finally sat down to catch his breath, his phone rang. Natasha’s name flashed up on the screen when he glanced at it.

He took a slow breath, running his hand over his hair. “Hello?”

“Please tell me you have someone else to drop you off,” Natasha said.

Steve’s brows knitted together. “Why?” he asked, sitting up straighter. “Is everything okay?”

“Not exactly,” Natasha said. “I can’t say much, but things are kind of descending into chaos on my end and I’m stuck at work until late tonight. There’s no way for me to get out of it, and believe me when I say I tried, Steve. This isn’t something I could have predicted.”

Steve couldn’t help the way his stomach dropped to his feet. He wasn’t technically allowed to know much about Natasha’s job these days, one she’d had since she graduated, but she’d once said that there would be a day, maybe years from now, that she gave him an answer, even when Steve didn’t ask for one. He trusted her. Of course he did, but right now, he couldn’t stop himself from panicking, even when he didn’t want her to know that, but Natasha was Natasha, and she could see right through him without even trying.

“Steve, I’m sorry,” Natasha said, sounding stretched thin in a way Steve had never heard before. “If I knew, I would have told you.”

“No, Nat, it’s okay,” Steve said quickly. “Really, it’s fine. Life gets unpredictable. It happen, and it’s happened to me enough times to get what you mean. I’ll figure something out now, I promise, alright. Sure, we were looking forward to seeing you before we got out of here, but don’t apologize for something you can’t control.”

“God, I wish I was coming with you,” Natasha said. Her voice was echoey, and Steve wondered if she was hiding in the bathroom to have a moment to herself. “I feel like I can’t remember the last time it was you, me, and Sam all together.”

“We’ll make it happen again one of these days,” Steve said, trying to reassure her. “We will. Go ahead, do what you need to do, and I’ll get in touch with you whenever you have some time. I’ll be up all night with Sam, so we can video chat or something. Find a way to have some time together.”

“Gives me something to look forward to,” Natasha sighed. “Okay. I’m gonna go back in, you figure out your situation, and don’t leave me in the dark just because you think I’m busy. Text me when you land and tell June I love her.”

“Psst,” Steve said to June. “C’mon, tell your aunt you love her.”

“Love you, Nat!” June shouted into the phone, and Steve pressed it back to his ear.

“That help at all?” he asked.

“More than you know,” Natasha said, and Steve had a feeling she was smiling. “I love you too, you know. I’m gonna let you go, but have a good flight. Have a drink for me or something.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Steve said. “I’ll call you soon. Love you.”

When they finally hung up, Steve ran his hands over his face, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes. This wasn’t meant to be stressful. It was supposed to be easy and quick, but that was Steve’s luck, wasn’t it? Whenever he thought things were going smoothly, something was bound to blow up in his face.

“What’s the matter?” June said, and when Steve opened his eyes, she was almost nose to nose with him, pulling his hands away from his face.

“Nothing, nothing to worry about,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Nat was supposed to take us to the airport, but she’s pretty busy at work, so we’re either gonna have to take a taxi or find someone else to drop us off.”

June hummed as she thought about it. “Why don’t we just drive there?” she asked.

“That’s a pretty good idea,” Steve said. “But I think we’ll just leave the car in its spot until we get home.”

“Hey, Bucky drove us to the hockey game, remember?” June said. “And he’s right across the street. Why don’t you ask him?”

Steve almost didn’t want to bring up Bucky at all, mostly because he had a sudden fear of June changing her tune, or not liking him being around so much, but if she was the one to bring it up, and since Bucky already offered before…

“I’ll see if he’s still busy,” Steve said, and lightly squeezed her shoulder. “That was a good idea, June. Let me give him a call.”

Steve didn’t move from his spot as he dialed Bucky. He hoped he got ahold of him, and hell, if he didn’t, there were other options. Sure, a cab ride to Newark was expensive but if he had no other choice, he would have to swallow down his gripes and do what he had to.

“Hey, you,” Bucky said. Steve could hear distant sizzling and clattering in the background. “You headed to the airport yet? I was gonna drop something off before you got going.”

“That’s actually why I called,” Steve said slowly. Sheepishly. “Natasha had to cancel. Something came up, and I was wondering if your offer still stands.”

“Hold on a second,” Bucky said, and then he said something Steve couldn’t quite catch as the bell on the diner’s door jingled, which meant Bucky had stepped outside. “Yeah, Steve. ‘Course it still stands. I’m gonna go pull the Jeep around, so start heading downstairs.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Oh, God, okay,” he said, huffing something like a laugh. “Thanks, Bucky. Really. You’re the best.”

“I know, but I like being flattered. What can I say?” Bucky said. “See you in a minute.”

“See you in a minute,” Steve repeated, and then the call ended. He shrugged at June. “Looks like we’ve got a ride to the airport.”

“Yes!” June exclaimed. “C’mon, Dad, high-five!”

It made Steve laugh for real that time, and he did as June said before they grabbed their bags and made their way out, waiting on the curb for Bucky to pull up and bracing themselves against the wind. Steve’s eyes watered with it, and he was glad that he at least made sure June was warm. He cleared his throat against the tickle forming behind it, which was likely nothing, just a reaction to the inevitable freezing weather coming in.

“Got everything?” Steve asked June.

June’s grip on her suitcase tightened. “Yup,” she said. “Are you excited?”

“If I knew how to do a cartwheel, I would have done one by now,” Steve said, just to make her laugh.

Bucky pulled up only a minute later, getting out to help Steve throw his and June’s things things into the trunk before coming back around, opening the door to the backseat. “Chariot awaits, ma’am,” he said. “And it’s way warmer in there than it is out here. Want me to help you up?”

June took Bucky’s hand and let him hoist her up the big step into the truck, and Steve got inside, too. Buckling into the passenger’s seat, he found that it really was warm inside, and he remarked on it once Bucky was shutting himself inside and driving down the block.

“My last car was like driving in an igloo,” Bucky said. “And having cloth seats makes a real difference, anyway. Hey, June, I sent you something for the plane ride. Look on the seat beside you.”

Steve peered through the rearview mirror and saw June fiddling with a small styrofoam box, listening to the squeaks of it as she opened it. “Hey, it’s a patty melt!” she said. “How’d you know I like those?”

“Because Bucky Barnes knows all,” Bucky said, tapping on his temple. “I’ve got the Sight.”

It was also because Steve had to order June one everyday for almost six months, but neither of them said a word about that. “He does, it’s true,” Steve said. “Hey, June, what do you say?”

“Thanks, Bucky,” June said, closing the box up. “I have a question, by the way. Why does everyone call you that?”

“It’s all because of Rebecca,” Bucky answered. “Everyone called me Jim and Jamie till I was about five, and then we were teaching her everyone’s names after she started talking and, well, how are you gonna expect a two year old to know how to say James Buchanan Barnes? So, Bucky it was, and the rest is history. I guess it just stuck. Imagine how boring I would be if I was your dad’s friend, Jim?”

“Well, June’s not even my first name. Did you know that?” June said. “It’s Sarah June, but no one ever called me that but my grandma ‘cause her name was Sarah, too.”

They continued talking, and Steve couldn’t help feeling utterly content as he listened. June was getting more and more comfortable with Bucky’s presence, and Steve hoped that continued to grow with time. Bucky was going out of his way to make himself approachable, but at the same time, he really wasn’t. This was just who Bucky was. Kind despite his rugged exterior, knowing his way around people, and naturally falling into the role of an older brother or an uncle thanks to being around such a big family.

Hell, he was just a good guy all around. He made sure Steve’s kid got food in her stomach. He looked out for her, and that alone made Steve feel so grateful to him he could barely find the words to say so.

June soon began listening to Steve’s old iPod, which Steve still found amusing since it was still loaded with all of his favorite songs, but if she enjoyed it, who was he to stop her from getting decent music taste? He tested her for a moment, calling out her name, but when she didn’t answer, he knew he was in the clear for at least a few more minutes.

“Y’know, I feel like I’m really breaking through,” Bucky said. “Little by little, yeah, but she’s way more talkative with me today.”

“She likes you a lot, Buck,” Steve said. “She’s the one who told me to call you today, just saying.”

Bucky shook his head, a faint smile on his face. “Kids are funny like that,” he said. “You don’t know what’s going on in their heads until you do.”

Steve’s eyes drifted to the road for a moment, then back to Bucky. “I can’t believe you remembered patty melts were her favorite,” he said.

“Like I said, I know everything, Steve,” Bucky said. He reached forward, rubbing his hand over Steve’s thigh for just a moment. “I was gonna bring it over, anyway, but I’m glad you called. I was worried I would end up missing you guys.”

“I’ll make sure to send you another box of coffee eclairs when I get home, then,” Steve said. “Token of my appreciation.”

“Thank God for those eclairs,” Bucky said, grinning. “Swear they were the catalyst for all of this. I owe it all to them.”

“That means you have to owe it to bad horror movies, too,” Steve teased. “And the rain.”

“So, what? Gives me new things to appreciate,” Bucky said. “I started liking lots of things thanks to you. Remember when we were kids, maybe we were ten and eleven, I came by pestering you asking what you were drawing? I only started getting interested in art ‘cause I knew you liked it, too.”

Steve’s cheeks heated up at that, and he did remember, just vaguely. He remembered Bucky and his gangly limbs and grown in adult teeth, remembered him sitting heavily on the stoop by the bakery and craning his neck to see Steve’s sketchbook. C’mon, Steve-o, lemme see, please? I bet you’ve got some masterpieces in there, Bucky had said until Steve caved and showed him.

Their interactions were sporadic at times, and grew scarce for a while, but Steve had a new appreciation for all of these old memories of Bucky that gathered over the years. They were nestling into an open space in his heart, just like Bucky himself was, and Steve knew that was inevitable, but maybe Bucky had filled that space long ago, long before Steve even realized it.

“I only started reading comic books because I saw you reading them, too,” Steve admitted. “Guess we influenced each other more than we realized.”

A bout of silence fell over them, but Steve felt comfortable in it. Neither he nor Bucky felt the need to fill it, and neither of them were uncomfortable in any way. That was more than Steve could ever ask for. Comfort. Companionable silence. Being at ease with one another.

“Steve,” Bucky said eventually, once highway signs pointing to the airport began to appear. “I might have told my family about us last night. They kind of…” he shrugged. “I think they guessed, one by one, so I figured I might as well say something instead of having them make their assumptions.”

Steve couldn’t speak for a moment, less out of shock and more out of anticipation. Worry, even when he wasn’t sure why. “How did it go?”

“Good. Real, real good,” Bucky said, and he took a slow breath as he looked at Steve, eyes bright and raw and honest. “I just told them the basics, that we’re seeing each other and that it hasn’t been long, but it feels good. Thea and Nora told me it was about time I met someone, Rebecca said she could have guessed that herself, my ma was happy, and my pop was, too, but he also told me, and I quote, not to be an asshole and fuck it up with you.”

It surprised Steve enough that he laughed, even when he felt a little like crying, too. His throat smarted almost painfully as he attempted to swallow.  “Bucky,” he managed to say. “I’m...I can’t believe what you’re telling me.”

“Look at me for a second, huh?” Bucky said gently, like he could sense Steve was on the edge of getting emotional. “You know how they feel about you. The whole family loves you, and I’m just saying, now they definitely want you to come over. They’ll drive you more nuts than they would have before, so prepare for a lot of food being shoved in your face and a lot of hugging.”

He reached forward to squeeze Steve’s shoulder, mostly because he couldn’t do anything else, but it felt so steadying. So grounding. Steve was going to miss him badly. It wouldn’t be long until he saw him again, but he knew that pinching ache he felt when Bucky disappeared to Jersey would come back even stronger than before, especially now that he was the one who was far away, over a thousand miles from home.

“I’m ready for that,” Steve said, nodding. “I’m ready for everything.”

He wished they were able to sneak a kiss in, but that would be impossible. Steve craved more contact. He wanted the security of Bucky’s arms around him again. He wanted another lazy day on the couch, basking in the dying afternoon light and breathing in Bucky’s familiar smell of smoke and cologne.

“Me too,” Bucky said. “I know you’ve never been up to the house before, but I think you’ll like it. June will, too.”

Steve hoped that was true. He hoped June would be as happy as he was soon enough. He just had to find the right words to explain everything to her.

-

A few minutes later and they were pulling in front of the doors of the airport. Bucky got out just to help with Steve and June’s bags, and then he hovered for a moment, hands shoved in his pockets. He seemed to be searching for the right words, which Steve couldn’t help being surprised by. Bucky always seemed to know exactly what to say, but this time, he seemed to be unsure. The casual, easygoing mask slipped for just a moment, and Steve saw a rawness in Bucky’s expression that tugged at his heart almost painfully.

“I’ll see you when you get back,” Bucky said instead of whatever he planned on. “Have a good trip. Let me know when you land.”

Steve almost asked what he wanted to tell him, but he was pulled into a hug that seemed to say more than enough. He squeezed back, breathing Bucky in and shutting his eyes.

“I’ll miss you, Buck,” Steve said, just loud enough to hear and right against his ear, and God, it wasn’t what he wanted to say. All he could do was convey the truth through his movements, the tone of his voice, because he wanted to find the right time to say those three words out loud. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere they could breathe.

“It’s only a few days, but I’ll miss you too, Rogers,” Bucky said, and then he pulled back, that same raw look on his face. Maybe he got Steve’s message after all. Maybe they were more connected than Steve ever knew. Before Steve could consider that train of thought, Bucky’s entire demeanor changed and he turned to June. “Hey, keep an eye on your dad, huh, June? He said he gets jumpy on airplanes.”

June smiled, glancing at Steve before she looked back to Bucky. “You got it,” she said. “Bye, Bucky.”

She leaned in for something like a side hug, evidently taking Steve’s cue. Bucky squeezed her close for a moment, and as Steve gathered their things, Bucky said something he couldn’t quite catch, but June’s smile only broadened, so he didn’t wonder about it for too long.

He stepped back as Steve grabbed June’s hand, and he gave them a final wave as they walked into the airport. Steve couldn’t help looking back, meeting Bucky’s eyes one more time and trying to ignore the pinch of longing deep in the pit of his stomach.

-

They got through security without a fuss, and June ate her sandwich as they sat at the gate waiting to board. They were a little early, which left Steve some time to get his bearings and get in touch with Sam, who was already tracking the flight and said he’d start driving to the airport around the time Steve’s plane would be descending. That gave Steve some peace of mind. Knowing he had a ride, and that he didn’t have to wait too long to see Sam. He hoped he wouldn’t be too exhausted tonight. He wanted so badly to stay up late like they used to, wanted to wake up and walk into the sun soaked kitchen and spend the morning at the table with Sam, take advantage of the quiet before the house got too busy.

Once Steve and June boarded the plane, she rested her head against his shoulder and before Steve knew it, grabbed his hand. “Are you really scared of flying?” she asked, curious.

Steve sighed. “Not so much flying,” he said. “Taking off is just a little…” he shrugged. “Tense, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t mind it,” June said proudly. “So, don’t worry. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”

Steve laughed quietly, and he reached up to ruffle her hair. “Thanks, pal,” he said. “What would I do without you?”

“I dunno,” June said. “But I bet you’d be super bored.”

“I think you’re right about that,” Steve said, and settled more comfortably in his seat. “Okay, come on. Tell me all about your plans once we get to Sam’s. What’s the first thing you want to do?”

June hummed to herself as she thought about it. The plane began to taxi, and her hand tightened around Steve’s.

The truth was this —Steve did tend to be an anxious flyer, but he wanted to nip that in the bud for June as soon as he possibly could. Steve didn’t take an airplane anywhere until he was twenty-three years old, and getting June well-traveled while she was young was the best thing he could do. Sure, she was definitely nervous now, but her seeing it as being brave or protecting someone else helped her squash some of those fears down and away.

Like father, like daughter, Steve supposed.

-

The plane was busy, but for the most part, the flight was peaceful. June slept for most of it, only stirring when they began their descent, and by the time the plane landed, she was wide awake, rubbing the lingering sleep from her eyes as Steve texted Sam, then Natasha, and then Bucky.

The replies came in quick succession. Natasha wishing him a good trip, Bucky with a picture of himself grimacing over a raw turkey with one of his sisters turned to a blur of dark hair as she rushed behind him with a pan, and Sam, who said he was already waiting for Steve at their usual meeting place near baggage claim.

As they waited to step off the plane, Steve answered each message as quickly as he could, then finally got to Bucky’s.

Getting an early start, I see.

Bucky’s message came in surprisingly fast. Yup. Just know this is the easiest job compared to everything else. I have to handle potato peeling tomorrow. Another was sent soon after , featuring a picture of more potatoes Steve had ever seen in anyone’s kitchen. Christ strike me down.

You can get struck down after I get off the plane, Steve replied. And better yet, after I get home. I’d like to see you again before that happens.

How romantic, Bucky replied. Have fun and send pictures.

You too. Talk tomorrow :)

After that, the line began to move and Steve pocketed his phone before grabbing their bags from overhead. He couldn’t help feeling a bit of a spring in his step as he moved forward, June’s hand held tightly within his own.

“Sam’s waiting for us downstairs, you know,” Steve said. “You excited to see him?”

“Uh, yeah,” June said. “I’m gonna give him the biggest hug ever, just watch.”

“Not if I hug him first,” Steve teased. “That’s my best friend, pal.”

“Well, he’s my Uncle Sam,” June shot back, and stuck her tongue out at him, doing her best to stifle a smile. “Take that.”

Steve snorted. “Okay, fair enough,” he said. “Fair enough.”

They stopped only to put their coats on, and for June to get a better grip on her suitcase. From there, they walked through the airport until they found the area for baggage claim, then the doors, and then they walked out into the chilly nighttime air, searching for Sam’s car, which Steve quickly spotted just as Sam got out and waved them down.

“There he is, down there,” Steve murmured to June, then lifted a hand to cup over his mouth as he continued walking. “That who I think it is?”

“The one and only!” Sam shouted back. “Get the lead out of your feet and get over here!”

Sam met them halfway, breaking into a half-jog once he got close, grin plastered over his face. He was bright and beaming, eyes crinkled with his smile.

“You look great, Sam,” Steve said as he came close, looking him over. “Like a million bucks.”

“Oh, flattering right off the bat, I see,” Sam said, and then he pulled Steve into a hug so tight, Steve could barely breathe. It didn’t matter, though, because Steve squeezed back with equal fervor, only pulling back when Sam did and feeling his hands come to either side of his face for just a moment. “What about you, huh? Look at you. Handsomest guy I know.”

Steve shrugged. “I’ll take it even if you’re humoring me,” he said, unable to stop himself from smiling. “Just you?”

“Just me. Sarah’s coming tomorrow,” Sam said, then he looked down at June. “Is that my favorite niece?”

“I’m your only niece, remember?” June asked, grinning from ear to ear before she rushed forward, pushing past Steve to get her turn. “I missed you so much.”

Sam hoisted her up with a groan before setting her back down and settling for a squeeze instead. “Oh my God, looks like I can’t do that anymore,” he said. “Hey, I missed you too, and we’re gonna make this happen way more often, okay? I can’t go a whole year without seeing you guys again.”

“Absolutely not,” Steve said. “We’re gonna make it happen more often. Promise.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Sam said, then clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Okay, no more standing outside in the cold. Let’s get going. Are you guys hungry?”

With that, they were loading their bags into the trunk and getting into Sam’s car. June was buckled into the backseat and Steve settled into the passenger’s just as the trunk closed and Sam got inside, soon driving out of the crush of cars and travelers and onto the highway, heading down the familiar route toward the house. Something in Steve settled deeply, and he lifted his gaze up toward Sam with a lingering smile on his lips.

Just then, Sam nudged him gently with his elbow. “Come on, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?” he teased. “What’s up? What’s going on in your world?”

As much as Steve wanted to tell Sam everything, he’d save it for later. He’d make sure June was out of earshot before he gave out any real details, and there would be plenty of time to talk throughout the trip, so there was no rush. Steve needed time to find the right words, anyway.

“Things are changing,” Steve said. “In a good way. Got someone I can rely on at the bakery, so I guess I’m feeling more like myself. June’s been flying through school. She’s doing amazing, I swear. She’s a math whiz.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sam said, catching June’s eye in the rearview mirror. “You gotta tell me everything once we get to the house. I have plenty to tell you guys too, I just need to get my head together and figure out what to say first. Also, I’m warning you, Steve. I know you’re on vacation, but I’m making you work when we get home.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, fair enough,” he said. “What are we working on?”

“Just getting everything prepped for tomorrow,” Sam said. “Nothing too crazy, but we might be up for a while.”

“It’s Thanksgiving, Sam. I’m here for whatever you need,” Steve said. “Just say the words.”

It was then Steve’s turn to nudge Sam, and all he could feel was a deep thrum of content deep in his chest. This was what he needed. A few days away from chaos, a few days to himself, and then he’d be able to go home with a refreshed mind, feeling clearer than ever, or at least he hoped. 

Somehow, this felt like a catalyst for change. A turn of the page, and Steve couldn’t quite place why. All he knew was that he felt different, in a way he never had before, and he couldn’t help liking it.

Chapter Text

Settling in at the house was as easy as breathing.

It was no different to coming home, and Sam had lived here for the entirety of the time Steve had known him despite growing up in New York himself. His family only moved to Louisiana when Sam was around seventeen and his sister, Sarah, was fifteen, to be closer to family, and once Paul and Darlene passed away, they found themselves living there until they figured out what to do next, but that was the past. Now, Sarah was married with two children and living in the city while Sam lived at the family house, which according to him, had more space than he knew what to do with.

They ended up ordering delivery both at Steve’s behest and his treat despite Sam’s protest. There was so much work to do later in the night and the following morning, and the last thing Steve wanted to do was make Sam do any unnecessary work, so they ate at the dining room table, talking all the while. Steve may have been a little exhausted from the plane, but he was so happy to just be away. To have freedom for a few days and spend that stretch of time with Sam.

After their late dinner, Steve headed into his and June’s shared room and unpacked their suitcases before changing his clothes. June had long since changed into her pajamas, and Steve was glad for that. He had noticed the heaviness in her expression, the way she dragged her feet as she returned from the bathroom and sat on the bed, a smudge of foamy blue toothpaste on her chin.

Steve reached forward and thumbed it off, even when she grimaced. “Dad,” she whined.

“Hey, I’m not the one who put it there,” Steve said, wiping his thumb off on a tissue. “You think you’re ready to get some sleep?”

June sat on the bed with a tired huff. “I’m not even that tired,” she said, but even she didn’t sound convinced. “I can stay up.”

Steve came to sit beside her, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You know, you don’t need to worry about missing anything, pal,” he said. “All the real fun starts tomorrow, so you should rest up. I doubt you’d want to be falling asleep on A.J. and Cass, anyway. You’re gonna need your energy.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” June said, which meant her protests were more out of sheer stubbornness than anything. Steve knew his daughter like the back of his hand, and he could tell when she was on the brink of falling asleep. He was surprised she didn’t conk out on the couch after dinner. “Are you gonna sleep, too?”

“Soon,” Steve said. “I’ll be back in a little while, if that’s okay. You can have this whole bed to yourself till I get back.”

“Mhm,” June hummed, and then she crawled away to pull the blanket up, burrowing underneath it. “It’s pretty comfy, too.”

“Looks it,” Steve said before reaching over to turn the lamp off. “Get some sleep, Junebug.”

June was already settling under the covers, pulling them up to her chin before she shut her eyes. “G’night,” she said.

Steve leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her temple, squeezing her arm gently and then standing up to leave the room. He shut the door with a quiet creak and gave June another look as she turned onto her other side. At this rate, she would be asleep in a minute flat and hopefully, she’d sleep in tomorrow. There was nothing for her to do but relax for the next few days.

After moving away from the door, Steve crept downstairs and headed back into the living room, which was now empty. “Sam?” Steve said, and arched a brow, prepared to say his name once more before a sharp whistle stopped him.

“In the kitchen,” Sam called. “And I could use your help, actually.”

Steve found Sam pulling the turkey out of the fridge, setting it on the counter with a dull thud. He wiped his hands on a tea towel and met Steve’s eyes. “You know how to make a brine, right?” he asked.

“‘Course I do,” Steve said.

“Attaboy,” Sam said. “Pot’s already on the counter. You can work on that while I clean this thing out.”

Steve did. He searched through the cabinets until he found the spices he was looking for, filling and preparing the pot then setting it on the stove while he poured in peeled cloves of garlic, handfuls of peppercorns, and the rest of the herbs as Sam worked on the turkey. They worked in silence for a short while, but after the turkey was in the brine and set in the refrigerator, after everything else was clean, they sat at the table in the kitchen and allowed themselves to settle down.

“I’m saving the good stuff for tomorrow,” Sam said. “So, we can make do with this.”

He set an opened beer in front of Steve, and even though it was far, far down on the list of Steve’s favorite drinks, it was ice cold in his hand. It was smoking from the lip of the bottle, and looked too damn inviting to turn down.

“Thanks,” Steve said, offering a nod before he leaned forward against the table. “So, what’s news? You said you had something to tell me while we were on our way here, and now I can’t help wondering when I’m gonna get to find out.”

“I did, yeah,” Sam said. “Just gotta figure out what to tell you about first.”

“Okay, so lots to cover,” Steve said, smiling.

Sam shook his head, but then a funny smile began to creep up his lips. “Not lots, but enough,” he said. “Good stuff, though.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked. “Like what?”

Sam exhaled as he spoke. “Let’s see,” he began. “I think I’ll start small and work my way up. First thing, I guess, I’ve been talking to someone and it feels...it feels good, really good, but I’ll tell you more about that later. Next important thing is that I’m coming to New York at the end of January. That’s just the first part of the good stuff, but the why is important.”

Steve waited, and Sam’s smile made more sense suddenly, especially when a sudden sense of excitement washed over Steve. “Come on,” he said, bumping his ankle against Sam’s. “Tell me why.”

Another pause. Sam took a swig of his beer. “I’m hoping to move back next winter,” he said. “For good.”

“What?” Steve burst out with a surprised laugh. “Sam, I—what? Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Sam was grinning when Steve caught his eye again, and he raised his hands for a moment. “Look, I know, but I wanted to wait till you were here to say anything,” he said. “It’s just that Sarah and Aaron need something to themselves. They’re talking about having another baby, the boys need more space, too. We already discussed everything, planned it all out and they’re gonna move in here once their lease is up. Besides, I need a change, Steve. I’ve been living down here for ten years, so if there’s any time for it, the time is now. You and Nat are my family, too, so how could I go anywhere else?”

Steve couldn’t help the way his heart pounded, the way he couldn’t stop grinning, the backs of his eyes heating up almost immediately. “God,” he managed to say. “I...Sam, it’s gonna be so good to have you back.”

He leaned forward to squeeze his shoulder, and Sam covered Steve’s hand with his own. “I’m gonna be happy to be back,” he said. “I think I’m finally coming into myself in a lot of ways, and I just…” he shook his head. “I feel different, you know what I mean?”

Steve nodded, and turned his hand over to squeeze Sam’s. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I think I do.”

-

They soon found themselves back on the couch, still nursing their drinks as they talked. The alcohol had loosened Steve’s muscles up in the best way, melted the knots in his neck, and he found himself even more relaxed than before, eyes heavy with a pleasant sort of tiredness he rarely experienced.

“So,” Steve began. “You met someone.”

Sam’s smile returned, smaller but just as content. “Might’ve,” he said. “It’s long distance, so that’s why I didn’t say much, but...” 

He pulled his phone from his pocket, and then he turned it to Steve, eyes on him all the while. It was a clear picture of a man with dark curls and dark eyes, skin warm in the hot sun beating down on him. His sunglasses were pushed up into his hair and his smile was bright, inviting. 

“His name’s Joaquin,” Sam said. “He lives in Phoenix right now, but I met him here when he was in town with a friend, and we’ve been keeping in touch for a while.”

“How long?” Steve asked.

Sam sucked on his teeth for a moment. “Almost six months,” he answered, hiding his phone away. “Look, I know. I know I didn’t say anything, but I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen between us and I told myself I wasn’t gonna talk about it until I knew it was working out. We keep talking about seeing each other again, and the plan is to meet up in New York when I come in town, get a hotel together and just seeing where we go from there. I’m sure I’ll introduce him to you once he settles in, and I think you’ll like him a lot. He’s really…” his smile broadened. “He’s incredible, Steve.”

There was a warmth in Sam’s gaze as he spoke, and Steve felt himself smile. “I’d like that a lot,” he said. “I’m happy for you, Sam. That’s...this is amazing. It’s like everything’s falling into place.”

Sam smiled, watching Steve for a moment. “So, what about you, huh?” he asked. “What’s going on with you?”

Steve chuckled. “Does it look like there’s something going on?” he asked.

“See, now I know something’s up,” Sam teased. “I dunno, man, you just look different. Good different. You have a glow or something.”

“I don’t know about that,” Steve said, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I mean, things have been good like I said, and…” he shook his head. “Yeah, things have been great actually. I’m with someone, too, actually.”

“Wait, what?” Sam asked, leaning forward in his seat. “Since when?”

Steve wrung his hands together tightly. “Since October, I guess,” he said.

“And you didn’t say anything?” Sam asked. “Steve.”

“You didn’t say anything either!” Steve argued, just low enough not to wake June.

“Well, we both know now,” Sam said with a wave of his hand. “Now, come on. Spill the beans, Rogers.”

“Look,” Steve began. “But it was awkward at first. If it didn’t work out, it would have ended up affecting way too much. It would have messed up my business, my day, everything.”

“So, can I ask who could have that big of an impact?” Sam said. “Please? Come on, don’t be shy.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve said. “It’s not like I was keeping it a secret. I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I guess I just got lost in it. You know how it is, you talk to someone all the time and then they just become the center of everything before you even realize what’s happening.”

“Steve, I get it,” Sam said. “I do, but the suspense is killing me so you gotta tell me who it is.”

He said it lightly, bumping Steve’s knee with his own, and it took a moment to find the right words, but Steve willed himself not to keep waiting. He sighed, hands now still and clasped between his knees. “It’s Bucky Barnes,” he said. “From the diner across the street.”

“Bucky Barnes,” Sam repeated. “Otherwise known as the guy you almost ditched me for at a gay bar.”

Steve felt himself flush, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. “I did not almost ditch you,” he said. “I barely even thought about going up to him, and he was with someone by the time we saw him again.”

“Yeah, he did. After staring at you for half an hour,” Sam said, sighing after a moment. “All I’m saying is that I think it was kind of inevitable, even if it was just a hookup.”

“But that’s the thing,” Steve said. “It’s not like that. Maybe back then it could have been, but we’re different people now, and I think that’s why things are the way they are. Maybe you’ll think I’m moving too fast, but...I can’t explain it. It just feels right, doing it this way.”

“Steve, if you’re happy and you’re sure about it, then it doesn’t matter what I think,” Sam said. “If you know you can trust this guy, if you really think you’re ready to take the plunge with him, then that’s what you do. If you see something like this standing right in front of you, you can’t just let it pass you by. I met Joaquin in person once. Once, and now all I can think about is how bad I want us to make things work and how all I want to do is just be close to him no matter where that leads me. If I could move fast, I would, too.”

Steve’s ma would call it striking the iron while it was hot. Both he and Sam had opportunities for happiness right in front of their eyes, practically reaching out for them. How were they not supposed to reach right back?

Steve wrung his hands again, nodding as he took a slow, steadying breath. “I just can’t help worrying I’m asking for too much sometimes,” he said. “I’ll figure it out, I just need some time. I don’t want to keep being a downer on you.”

“You’re not a downer,” Sam said. “We’re in the same boat, so we’re both going a little crazy even if we’re happy about it. What’s the big deal? And I want some details, alright? Only interactions I’ve ever had with this guy was ordering a plate of chili fries from him and watching him almost spill a beer all over you. Please tell met there’s more to him than that.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, yeah, I can see why that would make you wonder,” he said. “The short version of it is this. I gave him a box of eclairs since he said he liked how I made them and said, I guess as a joke, that he wanted some. After that, we went out for a drink, then we went back to my place since it was raining so bad, and it wasn’t like I could send him back out in the rain, so I told him he could stay the night. We watched a couple of movies after he settled in and from there it just…” he shook his head. “Kept on going.”

“Now, hold on,” Sam said. “You’re saying you have no clue how this happened, but that just sounds like a date, if you ask me. Next you’re gonna tell me he showed up with a bouquet of flowers and you thought it was just because he was being friendly.”

“He didn’t bring flowers, but he picked me up on his bike,” Steve said. “Motorbike, I mean.”

“Steve,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Steve burst out despite the way he was already laughing. “How was I supposed to know he liked me, too? I’ve known Bucky since I was a kid and he didn’t seem interested until the minute before he kissed me.”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe he just had a good poker face,” he said. “Alright, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be serious for a minute, and be honest with me on this. Do you really feel like this is a good guy?”

“I know he is,” Steve said immediately, and then willed himself to slow down, flattening his lips into a tight line before speaking again. “He’s a good person. He’s all about his family, he’s not some enigma I have to figure out. He’s just…” he shrugged. “He is who he is, and that’s what I like about him. God, Sam, you should see how great he is with June. I haven’t said anything to her about why he’s around so often, because I haven’t told her we’re together. As far as she knows, he’s a friend, but he’s good to her. He really is. He actually listens when she talks and it’s like he wants to talk to her. He bought her all this stuff when we went to a hockey game, carried her inside when she fell asleep in the car. Hell, he even packed her some food for the plane ride here. He has three younger sisters and a bunch of little cousins, so I guess he knows what to do, but I think it sealed the deal for me. I couldn’t get him off my mind to begin with, but seeing how he is with June? I think that just made me feel even more stuck on him.”

“He ever mention wanting kids of his own?” Sam asked.

“In passing,” Steve answered. “It’s always something hypothetical, and then he backtracks and says he feels like he raised kids already because of his sisters, but he’s good with them. Sounds like he always has been.”

“Then he’s not doing this to kiss your ass, Steve,” Sam said. “That’s not an overbearing boyfriend trying to con your kid into liking him. Those are I-want-to-be-your-stepdad moves. That’s his goal.”

Steve’s mouth felt dry. “I mean,” he said, resisting the urge to clear his throat. “It’s not that I didn’t think that.”

“Meaning you already want to give the whole world to this guy,” Sam said. “Come on. You know you do.”

“And you’re acting like you’re not gonna want to propose to Joaquin next time you see him,” Steve said. “I’m not the only one thinking ahead, Sam.”

“You got me there,” Sam said. “You really got me there, and you’re right. I don’t know what it is, but every time I even try to picture a future, even when I try to just picture myself, I keep seeing him. It’s like I can’t get him out of my mind sometimes.”

It was hard for Steve not to notice his heart beginning to swell. Sam was happy, hoping for a future with Joaquin. Steve was happy and hoping for a future with Bucky. How could it be that things were beginning to work out for both of them?

“I know what you mean,” Steve said. “You don’t even realize it’s on your mind until it is. I mean, he wants me to come to his family’s house for Christmas, and I have a feeling that’s gonna be a moment with a capital M. His family’s important to him, and they’re all real close knit, so I think he sees it as kind of...bringing me in.”

Sam reaches over to pat his bicep, managing to catch his gaze. “You know that’s a good thing, right?” he said. “I know you know them already, but if he wants you to get even closer, that means something, Steve. He’s serious about you. He wants to show you off to people. Show people he wants you to be part of his life.”

Now, Steve couldn’t help feeling Bucky’s absence, and even sooner than he expected to. His mind drifted back to the ride to the airport, to Bucky’s easy touches, and just like that, all he wanted was to be close to him again. He wanted to wake up next to him and fall asleep next to him, he wanted him to get closer to June, and more than anything, he wanted Sam to be right.

“I think this is just all new to me, in so many ways,” Steve said. “I’ve never actually had a real relationship. I’ve never had someone who wants to get to know me or be a part of my life, or want me to be a part of their life, for that matter, and now here I am, wrapped up in it.”

“Is it making you happy?” Sam asked.

“What?” Steve said. “Of course it is. I...I want it. All of it.”

“Then don’t worry about it,” Sam said. “I mean it. Don’t. Just focus on the two of you and how you’re feeling, and screw everyone else.”

Steve rubbed both hands over his face and sighed. Sam was right. God, he was right. What Steve had with Bucky felt so good, so right, and there was no need for him to question it. No need whatsoever.

“Okay,” he breathed.

“Okay?” Sam asked, brows raised. His tone was playful, teasing. “That’s all? Are you feeling alright? You don’t usually agree with people this quickly.”

Steve smiled. “I think I just don’t want to worry about it,” he said. “But that’s enough about me. I want to know all about you and all about Joaquin. You finished that story way too quickly for my taste.”

Sam’s smile turned slow and soft. “Yeah, alright,” he said. “I guess I’ll start from the beginning, if that’s okay with you.”

Steve took another swig of his beer and sat further back on the couch, listening all the while.

-

Steve learns more about Joaquin, listens to story after story, and it’s easy to see the way Sam lights up just talking about him. It’s hard not to wonder how he’ll beam once he finally sees him again. As far as Steve knows, and he knows quite a lot, Sam hadn’t been serious about anyone since Riley, a paratrooper who had died on duty right after Sam graduated.

They were talking about starting their lives together. Waiting for Riley to come home and planning to get married the moment they could, and now, years later, Sam was ready for a future again. Ready for a future with someone, and the thought of that made Steve feel like he was going to explode in the best possible way. All he’d ever wanted was for Sam to end up happy with someone, and now here he was, making it happen.

They continued talking, going from one topic to another for hours. By the time they finally decided to part ways, Steve was dead on his feet, and when he finally fell into bed, he tumbled, dazed, into the most restful sleep he’d had in a long time.

-

Steve woke to June poking him in the cheek, over and over again as she told him to wake up. He wrinkled his nose at the sensation, eyes squeezing shut tight before he made an attempt at opening them to no avail. He stifled a yawn, shifting to lie on his stomach with his arms circling his pillow.

“Dad,” June whined, and then she was crawling right over him, and he groaned as she pressed down on his upper back. “Come on, wake up.”

This time, the yawn won out. Steve blearily opened his eyes, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep all over again. “What time is it, pal?” he asked.

“It’s five minutes till eleven,” June said. “Sam said he wants us to come down for breakfast.”

God, Sam didn’t have to make him breakfast. Steve didn’t want him to do anything at all, even though the smell of bacon wafting through the house made his stomach growl. He sighed before sitting up, and once he had the ability to get out of bed, he did so on heavy legs, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.

“Go ahead down,” Steve told her. “I’ll just be another second, okay?”

June was already gone, dashing down the hall so quickly Steve doubted she heard it when he told her to slow down. She was rushing down the stairs by then, and Steve could faintly hear her voice mingled with Sam’s.

He couldn’t help feeling so...blissful. He was loose and relaxed, rested for the first time in forever. For once, there was nothing for him to do. Nothing to attend to. The bakery was closed and he could finally take a breath. Take things as slow as he pleased.

He washed his face, and that made him feel more awake. He brushed his teeth and then he made his way downstairs, where the smell of the food grew even stronger.

June was perched on a chair with her knees tucked under her chin, smiling wide as she talked to Sam, who was flipping a pancake onto a plate already stacked high with them.

“Mornin’,” Steve said, voice still raspy with sleep.

“Hey, good morning,” Sam said as he turned the burner off. “How’d you sleep?”

“Great, actually,” Steve said, smiling. “Sam, you know you didn’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Sam asked. “I’m making breakfast for my niece, goddaughter, whatever you want to call her. I’m just graciously offering you some of it. That’s all.”

He set the plate on the table, right beside a bottle of maple syrup and a plate of bacon. “Okay,” Steve chuckled. “Okay, got it. It looks great, Sam. Thank you.”

Sam shrugged. “Consider it part of the welcome wagon,” he said, bumping Steve gently with his elbow. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Steve wrapped his arm around Sam’s shoulders. “Happy Thanksgiving,” he said. “And I’m telling you now. Whatever you need, I’m your guy. I’m your right hand whether you like it or not.”

“Yeah, okay, got it,” Sam said. “In that case, you’re on dessert duty.”

It was nice, having a normal morning with Sam. Just like old times in so many ways. The days when it was just Sam, Natasha, and himself sitting in front of the TV with it and trying to figure out where yet another hot July day would take them before they each got back to work. That was the entirety of Steve’s summer before finding out about June, and he was grateful that he still had his friends by his side, that he can still have moments like that despite their lives scattering them all over the place.

They sat down at the table with their plate in front of them, and Steve watched June pile her own with pancakes, syrup, and berries as he talked to Sam. She was quiet, but to be fair, that was because she was focused on the plate in front of her more than anything else. Probably still a little sleepy herself. Steve was relieved to eat something that wasn’t toast or microwaved bacon. He always tended to rush through breakfast, and felt like he was constantly scalding his tongue on coffee in the morning.

Now though, he had nothing to do and nowhere to be. All he had to do was focus on chasing that buzzing happiness igniting in the core of his chest.

Steve volunteered to clean up while Sam showered, washing a few dishes and a pan and setting everything back where it was. Steve knew this house like the back of his hand, and the more he looked at it, he couldn’t help but ache to live in a house again. To have the comfort he once knew and give June somewhere less cramped to grow up.

He dried his hands on a paper towel and sighed. He peeked into the living room to find June curled up on the couch, eyes on the TV. He sat down beside her, letting her come close and lean against his shoulder.

They watched the Thanksgiving Parade for a while, and only talked sparingly, June pointing out certain floats to Steve and vice versa, and by the time they changed the channel to one of her cartoons, Steve became aware of how late it was getting. He couldn’t remember the last time he sat around in pajamas for such a long while.

“I think I’m gonna go get ready for the day,” Steve said. “You gonna be okay down here for a little while?”

June nodded. “Yup,” she said. “I think I’m too stuffed to even move right now.”

“No need to move, then,” Steve said. “After I’m done, we’ll get you dressed and I’ll fix your hair up. However you want.”

That was enough to satisfy her apparently. Steve was back upstairs a moment later, laying his clothes out and then stepping under the hot spray of a shower. He felt like he was scrubbing the grime and the fatigue the airport had left him with off of his skin, and he scrubbed himself pink, surprised that he was able to shower for more than five minutes. He shaved nearly invisible stubble from his cheeks and pulled his briefs on, leaving his robe on to keep some of the cold out before changing into his clothes for the day, just into a navy blue cable-knit and brown slacks with his usual boots, shined and scrubbed of any possible dustings of flour.

He made his hair look presentable and patted on cologne, aftershave, before realizing he didn’t have much else to do. He was just becoming naturally fast, he supposed, but then again, it had only been a few minutes. He still had some time to waste.

So, after a moment of thought, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and dialed Bucky.

Steve sat on the bed, leg bouncing as he waited for Bucky to answer. He was about to find reasons to rationalize Bucky not answering, but he picked up on the fourth ring, the sound of his footsteps and too many voices being the first thing Steve heard before the noise faded away.

“Hey, you. Happy Thanksgiving,” Bucky said in a rush. “And to think I was about to make an excuse to step out and call you.”

“Looks like I saved you the excuse,” Steve chuckled. “Happy Thanksgiving, Buck. Just wanted to call and say hi.”

“Well, hi,” Bucky said, just to make Steve groan. “Alright, alright, enough kidding around. Tell me all about your trip so far. I already took care of everything that needed my attention, so I have a few minutes to talk.”

Even though it had been less than twenty four hours since Steve arrived in Louisiana, he still found himself with plenty to say, and with that, Bucky already had plenty of his own stories due to his extended family arriving late in the previous night and early in the morning. He sounded tired as all hell but he seemed to be in high spirits, and Steve was just happy to hear his voice for a little while.

“How’s June?” Bucky asked.

“She ate a stack of pancakes and now she’s watching some cartoon downstairs, so I’d say she’s in a pretty good mood,” Steve said. “I think she needed a break as much as I did. Going out of town isn’t really the norm for us unless it’s a holiday, so we’re both enjoying ourselves. I wish you were here, too. You’d really like it.”

“Yeah, me too,” Bucky said. “But hey, you’ll see plenty of me when you get back. Ain’t gonna let you out of my sight.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Steve teased. “And y’know, after this, maybe we can talk about going somewhere together. Even if it’s just for a night.”

“If I could get us out of town for a day or two, I’d do it in a heartbeat,” Bucky said. “Doesn’t matter where we go, as long as I’m with you.”

“Well, we could always try—”

There was a knock at the door. “Dad?” June asked. “Can I come in?”

“Just one more second, pal!” Steve called, then ran his free hand through his hair. “Sorry, I gotta…”

“Duty calls, I get it,” Bucky said reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it. Just have a good time and we’ll find some time to talk soon, alright?”

“Okay,” Steve said, much quieter this time. “I…”

He stopped in his tracks. It was too early to blurt out anything stupid, and Steve wasn’t equipped to deal with anything like that, especially right now with his head half-screwed on. He cleared his throat.

“...I’ll call you soon,” Steve continued. “Tell everyone I said hi.”

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart,” Bucky joked. “Talk to you soon.”

They hung up, and Steve sighed, trying his best to steady himself. It wasn’t like Bucky noticed the way he almost slipped up, right? Even with so many of their unspoken plans of the future, Steve still feared saying something that could be seen as too much. 

He willed his heart to stop racing and opened the door, letting June inside. “Sorry about that, pal,” Steve said nervously. “Ready to get dressed?”

-

Not long after that, Steve had an apron tied over his clothes and he was side by side with Sam, cooking what remained of his menu. Apparently, they didn’t have too much left to do since Sarah and Aaron were bringing some food over themselves. It would be a small get together, but Steve was excited. He’d rather have that than anything too chaotic this year. He missed everyone, and he wanted to give them all his undivided attention.

The stereo was on and music was flooding through the house as they worked. At some point, Sam had set his laptop on the window sill and began a video call with Natasha that lasted only a few minutes, but it was nice to have her there in some way. Steve felt himself grin when Yelena peeked in, leaning over the back of the couch and right over Natasha.

“I’m off the clock, so I’m not talking to you for any longer than I need to,” Yelena teased.

“No conversations about work until we see each other again,” Steve told her, tone light. “We can talk about pretty much anything else, but not that.”

“I can live with that,” Yelena said. “But I need to make sure nothing burns, so that’s my cue to leave. Happy Thanksgiving, guys.”

“So, are you planning to help at all?” Sam asked Natasha. “Or are you gonna let her do everything herself?”

Natasha pointedly shrugged. “I’m supervising,” she said. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Not really,” Steve and Sam said, almost in unison, and it was enough to get her to crack a smile.

“Whatever,” Natasha said. “I’ll catch up with you guys later. Don’t keep me out of the loop too much.”

They got back to work after Natasha disconnected, setting the last two trays in the oven while Steve simmered cranberry sauce over the stovetop. By the time he spooned it all into a bowl, the doorbell was ringing and Sam was leaving to answer it.

Steve waited only a moment before following him, a smile already pulling at his lips. He found June already rushing at A.J. and Cass, and the three of them were already deep in some conversation, voices all clamoring together. He found himself pulled into a hug by Sarah, and felt Aaron clap his shoulder. God, it felt good being with so many people he cared about, and all he could do was anticipate the night ahead, hoping it lasted and lasted.

Chapter Text

Thanksgiving went off without a hitch.

It was long, lasting well into the night, and by the time Sarah, Aaron and the kids had left, it was midnight and June was curled up in the armchair by the couch, sleeping heavily with her back turned. Steve let her be. There was no reason to wake her, so he let her rest while he and Sam finished cleaning the last of the mess. The dishwasher was left to run, the dining room and the kitchen were swept, and by the end of it, Steve was relieved to change into his pajamas. He was surprised to find that he was still hungry despite how full he was just a little while before, but he supposed that was just how it was when it came to the holidays, so he found himself fixing himself another plate, eating it cold while he stood up in the kitchen. 

He allowed his food to settle, allowed himself a moment of quiet before he slowly stepped into the living room and scooped June up into his arms as gently as he could before he took her upstairs, tucking her under the covers and turning the lights off.

He tried to peek in on Sam just gazing through his half-opened door to check if he was still awake or up for company, but Steve heard him talking, laughing, and he only realized Sam must have been talking to Joaquin once he’d said, “God, I can’t wait to see you. I feel like I’m just gonna be counting down the days until I finally do.”

Steve smiled to himself and stepped away. He crept down the hall and then sat on the stairs, taking a moment to reach for his phone. Sure, it had been a long day, but why shouldn’t he try to call, exhausted as he was?

He took a chance and dialed Bucky, who didn’t answer, but then again it was past one in the morning at home. Bucky would have likely went to bed the first chance he got, and Steve was beginning to think that he himself should do the same. He ran his hands over his face and sighed, more out of fatigue than anything else, then he stood up on heavy legs and went right back to his bedroom.

Quietly, Steve got into bed. He took care not to wake June when he turned onto his side, still feeling incredibly content. Warm and relaxed. He practically melted into the softness of the sheets as he shut his eyes and almost wondered about what the next few days would hold but he didn’t even want to think ahead to even the soonest possible future. This trip was about taking things as they came, and he would make sure to indulge in that luxury as much as possible.

He fell asleep thinking of nothing at all for once, and woke up late once more. His eyes opened at a quarter to noon, and he almost drifted right back to sleep before he willed himself to rise. To his surprise, Sam was still asleep and so was June, so Steve did something he hadn’t done in what felt like years.

He went for a run.

Steve pulled his hoodie on, turned his music up loud, and took off down the path leading away from the house, brisk wind rushing at his face. His muscles burned pleasantly as he ran, and he tried his best not to overexert himself, to make sure his breathing was even all the while even as his blood pumped away in his veins, warming him from the inside out. The fresh air was cool on his face. It filled his lungs up and he powered on, feet hitting the ground with a speed he didn’t know he could still accomplish, considering how long it had been.

By the time he was finished and back where he started, he leaned against the side of the house with his hand braced against it. He stood there, breathing heavily before he finally found the willpower to climb the few steps leading up toward the front door. It was a relief to find the spare key under the mat, same place as it always was, and when Steve let himself in, he found Sam dressed and eating leftovers at the table.

“Hey,” Steve puffed out. He ran a hand through his sweat dampened hair. “June’s still asleep?”

Sam huffed a laugh through his nose. “Didn’t even bother waking her up,” he said. “She ran around like crazy with the boys all day, so it’s no wonder she’s sleeping like a log.”

Steve was relieved to hear that and felt himself smile a little. “She could use it,” he said. “She doesn’t really sleep in at home, think it’s because she’s so used to her schedule, but I want her to relax. It’s her vacation, too.”

He poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat down beside Sam, feeling far more awake than he did before. “I heard you up last night,” Steve continued. “You talk to Joaquin?”

“Yeah, just for a little while,” Sam said with a nod. “We actually booked a hotel for January, so I don’t think I’ll be crashing at your place this time around.”

“Really?” Steve said. He reached over to squeeze Sam’s forearm for a moment. “Look, I’ll miss having you over but I’m happy for you, Sam. And if Joaquin’s okay with it, I’d love to meet him. I can’t not meet someone who’s making you feel this good.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak before closing it, like he was trying to find the right words. “I just want to bring him into the fold, you know?” he said. “Make him feel like he’s part of my life the same way he wants me to be a part of his.”

Steve understood that, and it tugged at him so deeply he felt like it would knock the wind out of him. His circle was small, and he so badly wanted Bucky to be part of it. He wanted to see him whenever he took a look around him, and that was evidently Bucky’s idea, too, to bring Steve into the already massive circle of his family. 

It both quelled his nerves surrounding Christmas and sent them to an all time high. He wondered if that was how Joaquin was feeling too, impossibly excited and incredibly nervous.

“You’re doing the right thing,” Steve said. “You are. Some people don’t even want the person they’re with to get too close to their friends or their family at first, and most of the time it’s because they’re not sure about the relationship to begin with, but Sam, you want him to be there, so doesn’t that mean you’re sure about this?”

Sam smiled after a moment, soft and a little contemplative before his eyes drifted back to Steve. “Since when did you become a relationship expert?” he asked, teasing.

Steve shook his head, grinning. “Not an expert,” he said. “Just figuring it out little by little.”

“Yeah, well,” Sam said. “That makes two of us.”

He clapped Steve on the back and then made a show of wiping his hand off on his jeans, of grimacing. “Now come on, hit the showers,” he said. “You never stink so you’d better keep up with that, and wake up June while you’re at it. We’re not gonna stay cooped up in here all day, you got that?”

“Got it,” Steve chuckled before standing up. “I got it. I’m on my way now. I’ll be fast. Promise.”

Steve woke June and brought her downstairs, preparing a bowl of cereal for her before he went back upstairs and cleaned himself up. After stepping out of the shower, he sent a text to Bucky saying he would be busy for a while, but he’d send some pictures if he had some time.

The response came while Steve tamed June’s hair into french braids, and he couldn’t help smiling to himself all the while, unable to make himself stop. He was almost glad June couldn’t see his face, because she would inevitably ask what he was smiling about and he wouldn’t be able to answer with anything that could truly explain it.

They soon met Sam downstairs and got into the car, heading into the city to meet up with Sarah, Aaron and the kids before heading to the Audubon Aquarium, where Steve was surprised to find they spent plenty of time in. Most of it was Steve and Aaron running after the kids, but that didn’t last long since they were in awe by mostly everything, nearly nose to nose with tanks both big and small. Heads turning as they passed through tunnels that were nothing but glass and illuminated the room with deep blue light. It was filled with schools of fish drifting by, with sharks making their slow journey throughout the tank, and Steve found himself watching intently, too, fingers itching to do the sight justice with his pencil and sketchbook.

By the time they finished, and after seeing more sealife than Steve had ever seen in his own life, they found somewhere to eat, taking advantage of the surprisingly warm weather by having lunch outside. Steve was relieved to soak up a bit of sun, and with the faint burn of alcohol in his veins and his stomach full, he felt even better than he did in the morning.

They each went their separate ways eventually, but Sam, Steve, and June’s day out continued. It was hard not to take advantage of the hours ahead, and they managed to keep themselves busy enough. As they drove back to the house, Steve noticed that Christmas decorations were already going up, on both homes and storefronts, and it made him wonder what it looked like back home. 

Surely, Manhattan was already becoming a nightmare with the crush of tourists trying to beat the Christmas rush, which only made the Christmas rush even longer. He’d have to ask Natasha about it, or see for himself when she invited him over. Spending some time with her was something he needed more than he initially realized.

It was getting dark when Sam pulled up to the house, the temperature dropping down a bit. June rushed off to the yard, and Steve sat down on the steps leading up to the house. The burnt orange sun reflected off the water ahead, visible from the porch, and as Steve glanced over to him, he found Sam watching it, too, hands laced together as he sat beside Steve.

“You’re gonna miss it, aren’t you?” Steve asked.

Sam took a slow breath. “I’d be lying if I said no,” he said after a moment. “I mean, I’ve been here for so long, it’s like home at this point, but at least I know I can always come back. Even once I move, it’s still only a plane ride away.”

Steve nodded, silently urging Sam to continue on. 

“And yeah, I doubt it’s gonna be easy,” Sam said. “But the thing is this. No matter where I am, I’m gonna feel like I’m at home. I grew up in New York, and in a lot of ways, I grew up here. I’d rather have two places to call home than feel separated from one forever.”

Steve wondered what that was like, to feel called to two separate places and feel settled in each one. Home was found in people, too, but the thought of ever leaving the place he grew up in rattled him in a way he didn’t expect.

“It sounds nice, if you ask me,” he said. “Having the feeling that you’re never far from home no matter where you are.”

“You’ve never thought about leaving?” Sam asked, brows raised. “Not once?”

Steve shook his head. “Not once,” he said. “It’s not even about business, it’s just...part of me. Even if I had the opportunity to move to another city, I don’t think I’d take it. I just can’t imagine myself being anywhere else.”

“Take the kid out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take Brooklyn out of the kid,” Sam said. “Now, come on, we’ll talk more about that later. We need to make last night and all of tomorrow count. I know how you are with traveling. You’re gonna be running in circles on Sunday and I want to have some fun with you before then, so what do you want to do?”

Steve shook his head. “We can make it up as we go,” he said. “Being here with you is more than enough.”

“You’re mushy, you know that?” Sam said. “Extremely mushy.”

“Guilty as charged,” Steve said. As June ran by, he whistled to flag her down. “Come on, pal, let’s head inside.”

June rushed over to him, cheeks red with exertion as she nearly ran straight into his chest. He stopped her, gave her a moment to catch her breath before the three of them went into the house, leaving the setting sun behind them.

-

Steve made sure to send a few pictures to Bucky and then he pocketed his phone, sitting on the couch with Sam and June as they both searched for a movie, obviously not needing any opinions from Steve since they were already narrowing down their choices, finally settling on a neither of them had seen before, and looked completely unfamiliar to Steve, which didn’t matter in the end considering how tired he was already.

With how long the day already was, Steve found himself dozing throughout the movie, only coming to whenever Sam or June attempted to wake him with a nudge or by calling his name, but it was fruitless. Steve just felt himself drift off all over again, and felt like he was floating when the movie finally ended, when his eyes flickered open. He looked over to find Sam asleep on the other side of the couch, arms crossed and head dipped down. 

He smiled to himself before he trudged upstairs with June following him closely, when he finally flopped down onto the bed, he was asleep all over again.

-

On Saturday morning, Steve rose earlier than usual, allowing June to sleep for a while. He ate breakfast with Sam and they took advantage of yet another balmy day to spend some time outside. It was nice enough for Steve to feel a bit too warm in his sweater, but the breeze was pleasantly cold and enough for him to keep it on. Even though Steve would likely be hanging around the house until the later half of the afternoon, he still wanted to make sure he got some extra time with Sam. He could already feel his mind trying to slip back into his usual routine, but he fought against that instinct, choosing to enjoy the rest of the day. 

It was peaceful, incredibly so. They found themselves with Sarah and Aaron again, who would be busy for the entirety of the following day, so their dinner together was their goodbye, and they left the restaurant with a flurry of hugs and promises to see each other again soon. June, Cass, and A.J. must have said goodbye to each other at least a hundred times before they eventually separated, waving even as they all walked off in opposite directions.

By the time Steve, Sam, and June were in the car, headed back to the house, Steve was pleasantly tired. He was far from being ready to sleep, but he was definitely ready to spend the rest of the night doing absolutely nothing. He still had to pack, but that wouldn’t be too difficult. It barely stressed him out, and the same went for the airport. At this point, Steve had made this exact journey enough times for it to feel effortless.

It was a little past nine o’clock when they arrived. Sam briefly disappeared upstairs, and Steve hung both his own coat along June’s up before turning to her. “Why don’t you go get washed up and get some sleep?” he asked her. “We gotta get your schedule back on track, pal.”

June pouted a little. “What if you guys have fun without me?”

“Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun,” Sam called from the stairs as he returned, coming to stand in the hall only a moment later. “We’re gonna watch all of your favorite movies, do each other’s hair, make prank calls. You name it. Right, Steve?”

“You bet,” Steve said. It made June laugh, but Steve still squeezed her close to his side. “Really, June, we’re just gonna sit around tonight, so go ahead and get some rest. I’ll meet you upstairs in a little while?”

June thought on it for a moment before she finally shrugged. “Okay, okay,” she said, resigned. “I’m going. Goodnight.”

“G’night, pal,” Steve said, and then she jogged over to Sam, who leaned down to let her hug him around the neck. He squeezed her close, rubbing her back before letting go.

“Get some sleep, Junie,” Sam said. “We’ll have some fun tomorrow. Promise.”

June hummed in agreement. She said goodnight before Sam let her go, and off she went. Steve listened to her footsteps on their rapid trip up the stairs, to the bathroom door shutting and the pipes rushing through the house momentarily as she turned the sink on. She would likely be a few minutes, and it gave Steve a window to quickly pack.

He changed into his pajamas and set June’s out for her to put on once she came out of the bathroom, then he found himself back with Sam, sat beside him on the couch. Steve had a feeling Sam was just as tired as he was, but they were both fighting hard against it, wanting to enjoy the rest of the night in whatever way they could, even if it was just more sitting around. They wouldn’t get to do this again for a little while, so taking advantage of it was the best course of action in Steve’s opinion.

He wasn’t feeling up to drinking anything at first, but when he and Sam began to look through the liquor cabinet a few minutes later, there was an unopened bottle of vodka that was all but calling their names, so how were they meant to turn it down?

Steve shook the vodka with ice and poured it into two tumblers before topping each with seltzer and lemon. It was a drink he preferred, and it settled his stomach when he needed it to, but it mostly helped him unwind. He supposed he could thank Natasha for turning him onto it, since he used to envy the way she could drink alcohol with nothing else in her glass. Everyone in Steve’s life was good at holding straight liquor, and as much as he wanted to learn how, he was comfortable with his own methods, no matter how simple or elaborate they were, and Bucky was beginning to turn him onto whiskey sours, anyway.

Steve and Sam were back on the porch despite the now-chilly air. It felt good. The cold air on Steve’s skin as the vodka burned pleasantly in his chest had him feeling settled, taking a much needed breath.

“These last few days have been…” Steve shook his head. “I needed this. I missed being here with you.”

“You’re not alone in that,” Sam said, a slight smile on his lips. “I’m really glad you came, Steve. You had me worried for a second that you wouldn’t.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. “I did?” he asked.

“Your head just seems like it’s been spinning the last few months with work, I mean,” Sam said. “Sounded like you were getting too exhausted and I was just wondering whether or not you’d sit the holidays out. I thought you were gonna end up buried in a pile of like, flour and frosting.”

Steve couldn’t help chuckling, turning his glass in his hands. “I almost did,” he said. “But ever since I hired Yelena, things have been easier. I might take on someone else in a few months, depending on how things go. I think money’s gonna get a lot better soon. I don’t know why, I just do, and I think knowing all these things, it’s been easier for me to relax a little more. Not completely but...day by day.”

“I get it,” Sam said. “But take it from someone who knows it pretty intimately, being in a relationships kind of gives you rose-tinted glasses. You end up seeing a possibility in everything. Hell, at this point, washing my car puts me in a good mood. It’s just how it is, Steve. Everything is better when you know you have someone right beside you, however they’re there. At least that’s how I feel.”

“I know what you mean,” Steve said. “Everything just feels different. I just feel like I was asleep before everything started with Bucky, and now I’m awake and aware, just appreciating everything more than I did before.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, almost contemplative. “Yeah, that’s...that’s exactly it.”

The air was still for a moment, like a previously unknown truth washed over both of them. Steve wondered if Sam was feeling that as intensely as he was, like a breath of fresh, clean air had gone straight into his lungs.

Steve was about to reach over to him, to scoot closer, but before he could do anything, a gust of wind came by, and he saw Sam shiver with it. “Hey, let’s keep talking inside,” he said, smiling a little easier now. “No reason for us to freeze.”

It was, of course, much warmer inside, and they found themselves sat at the table in the kitchen instead, arms crossed over it. Steve topped their glasses off, leaving the bottle of vodka between them just in case. The last thing Steve wanted was a hangover before his flight, but he was so boneless, so relaxed, he was prepared in case he wanted more. At most, he would get a good and heavy night’s sleep after this.

They continued talking, and Sam told Steve more about his plans for moving back to New York. He had his eye on a few different apartments, and he showed Steve the pictures of each one. Apparently, his trips following the upcoming January visit would grow more frequent as he scoped out a new home, and that alone was exciting. It would feel like Sam was already back, settling into a routine. Steve found himself smiling throughout the conversation, so utterly relieved to hear more.

“I can’t even choose a favorite,” Steve said. “They’re all perfect if you ask me. As long as you’re back with us, I’ll love wherever you choose.”

And maybe Sam won’t be alone, either. It sounded like things were working in his and Joaquin’s favor, like Sam was hoping to build a life with him in due time, and Steve could only hope that came to be. Seeing Sam happy and content, loving someone who could give him just as much love in return was something Steve had wanted to see for so, so long.

“It’ll be fun, coming back that often,” Sam said. “Speaking of coming back, did you miss home at all while you were away?”

“A little,” Steve said. “I don’t miss home as much as I miss—”

“Your burger-flipping boyfriend,” Sam joked. “I know, man. I know.”

“Hey, he doesn’t always flip burgers,” Steve said. “He does maybe half the jobs in the diner sometimes. His dad’s getting kind of old, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Bucky takes it over at some point. I’m not sure if that’s his plan or anything, but I could see him doing it, even for a little while.”

“He sounds like a family type, so don’t be surprised if that turns out to be the case,” Sam said, then turned more serious. “Alright, I have one more question, and you can give me the long answer or the short answer. When do you plan on telling June about this?”

Steve sighed, and he found himself laughing a little nervously. “You said I can give you the long answer?” he asked.

“Be my guest,” Sam said, catching Steve's eye once more. “Go for it.”

“The problem is this. I don’t really know. I don’t have an exact date, and I’ve been trying to get at least an idea of one,” Steve said. “She’s not gonna fall for Bucky being my friend forever, but I think she still needs some more time to get used to him being around. He’s great with her, just like I told you, and she really seems to like him, but I still want to ease her in. I don’t want to be that person who just tells her that I’m in a relationship and she has to deal with that whether she likes it or not. I want to make sure she’s okay with it, but I think…” he ran his hand over his arm before clasping his hands tight in his lap.”I think I’ll wait until after her birthday. Spring will be better, I think. I can let her have a few more months of the norm before I tell her what’s going on.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Steve, I—”

“I know,” Steve said. “It’s a long while to keep it from her, but a few months is better than a year or more. That’s too long and it might end up being worse for her. I’ll talk to Buck about it once I get back, but I want to make sure June’s okay when I finally tell her.”

“Steve,” Sam said once more, hushed despite the urgency in his expression. His eyes flickered over Steve’s shoulder. “I think you just did.”

Steve opened his mouth to ask what that meant, but just then, he felt a pair of eyes on him, all but drilling into the back of his head and he had no choice but to turn around, stomach dropping  to his toes.

June stood in the doorway, stockstill with her hair messy from tossing and turning, and Steve’s words dried up in his throat, mind going completely, utterly blank.

“June—”

She ran away before he could finish, and he began chasing after her before he knew what he was doing. He stumbled upwards, barely meeting Sam’s eye as he stammered out, “I’m sorry, I—I need to—”

“Do what you need to,” Sam said, not unkindly but just as urgently as before. “Go figure it out before she starts getting in her head.”

So, Steve ran, rushing upstairs just as the bedroom door slammed shut.

Chapter Text

Steve’s heart was racing. It pounded painfully in his chest, and he was sure it skipped a beat as the door slamming rang through his ears. He pressed his hands to his hips, trying hard not to panic, and then he knocked on the door. “June?” he said hoarsely. “June? It’s just me. Can you open up?”

No answer. The silence pressed down on Steve’s ears and he knocked again. He rested his forehead against the wood and took a few breaths, but it did nothing to quell his nerves.

“Please, June, open the door,” Steve said. “I’ll explain everything. I promise.”

He heard nothing, and then suddenly, so low he almost missed it, June said, “You told me that we’re not allowed to keep secrets.”

Steve’s chest twisted painfully. The words cut him to the core. Of course they did, considering he did say that, but that was less for himself and more to teach June not to get into the habit.

That didn’t make him feel any less guilty, though.

“I know,” Steve said heavily. “I know, but...it wasn’t supposed to be a secret. I swear it wasn’t.”

He hesitantly tried the doorknob and gave it a twist,. He found it to be unlocked and he carefully opened the door, gingerly stepping inside to find June face down on the bed, her face buried in a pillow, body curled into a tight ball.

“June, come on, look at me,” Steve said, softer than before. He sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed her back. “Can we talk? Just for a little while?”

June lifted her head. Her cheeks were wet. Tears were clinging to her lashes, and her breaths were ragged. “I don’t wanna talk,” she croaked.

“Hey, don’t say that,” Steve said, soft and maybe verging on desperate. A pit was quickly forming in his stomach. “We need to have a talk. We really do. I told you I’d explain everything, and I will. I’ll explain everything right now if you want me to.”

June sniffed hard as she shifted to sit up, legs crossed together as she faced Steve. She scrubbed at her teary eyes with her free hand, chest hitching hard. It was difficult for Steve not to feel a stubborn lump forming in his throat.

“Why did you wait so long?” June asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Steve sighed. “I wanted to. I was planning to,” he said. He searched for the right words, and reached forward to brush the hair back from her face, to thumb away the tears still rolling down her cheek. “But I didn’t want to upset you, and now look where we are. I didn’t want to put too much on you too soon, that’s all. It’s a big change. It’s just been the two of us all this time, and I didn’t want you to feel like I wanted to take that from you.”

June said nothing for a long moment, still sniffing with every breath. “I thought you said Bucky was your friend, ” she said, voice rising before it turned quiet again. Like it hurt her to speak. “Not your boyfriend.”

So, she heard even more than Steve initially thought. More than enough for her to put the pieces together without Steve explaining anything at all.

“We were friends,” Steve said quickly. “That’s true. We still are, in a lot of ways, but now we’re…” he tried to smile, but he was sure it came out a little wobbly. He tried not to give into his own emotions. The last thing he wanted was for June to become even more upset than she already was. “We’re together. We’re together, kind of like the way Carol and Maria and all your other friends’ parents are together, but it’s only been a short time, June. It hasn’t been long at all, and that’s why I wanted to wait. I wanted to make sure everything felt right before I told you about it.”

“But what if you fight like Cassie’s mom and her stepdad?” June burst out. “What if he’s not that nice and ends up being a jerk? One of my classmates told me about this time his mom had a boyfriend and they argued so much they had to break up and then they never saw him again. What if we’re not friends anymore, Dad?”

She trailed off into tears, barely getting the words out before she began to cry even harder, and God, every part of Steve wanted to shatter.

“June,” Steve said, worn thin. “June, come here.”

That was all he had time to get out and all June needed to hear, because she crawled into Steve’s arms a moment later. Her arms wound tight around his neck and he held her even tighter, one hand on the back of her head as his nose was pressed into her hair. He felt wetness soaking into his t-shirt and felt his heart lurch as he tried to shush her, to say any soothing thing that came to mind, hoping she could hear him over her own ragged breaths.

June didn’t cry often. When she didn’t feel well, which was surprisingly rare, she was cranky in the same way any other kid would be, and even when she was upset, she often sulked and shed a few tears she quickly wiped away before letting Steve cheer her up. She was always ready to move on. To stand right back up.

Steve couldn’t remember the last time it happened like this.

“Listen,” he said quietly. “Just listen to me for a minute. That won’t happen. It won’t ever happen. I wouldn’t let anything come between us or bring anyone around that could hurt you. I’m always gonna be here to protect you no matter what.

Steve didn’t let go. He only repeated himself, over and over, until most of her sobs quieted down, until her breathing began to even out. She still clung on tight, but it was no longer for dear life, and it gave Steve enough leeway to ease her head up and see her better. Her cheeks were as red as her eyes, and he wiped trails of tears away with both thumbs. 

He rested their foreheads together, just long enough for June to catch her breath and then he eased back a few inches, managing to catch June’s gaze.

“The other thing I’ll tell you is this,” Steve continued. “Adults fight. Everyone fights, but it doesn’t always mean they hate each other or that they want to hurt each other. I know it was a lot to take in, seeing something like that. I know it bothered you, but you gotta know that sometimes people don’t know any other way to get their words out. That doesn’t go for everyone, and it doesn’t go for me or for Bucky. Don’t feel like life’s going to change in a bad way just because he’ll be around more, or that I’ll have less time for you. Bucky doesn’t mean any harm, June, and he’s the one who wanted to help me make sure you were okay with all of this. I just wanted to give you time to get to know him before I told you what was happening. I’m sorry you had to learn about it this way, and I’m sorry it hurt so bad. That was the last thing I wanted to happen.”

He wiped another rush of tears away before pulling June closer again. “Do you love him?” she asked.

“What?” Steve asked before he could stop himself.

“If Bucky’s your boyfriend,” June said hoarsely. “Does that mean you love him?”

That was a question Steve wasn’t expecting, and his heart continued its furious beating against his ribcage. He swallowed hard, and tried to think of the right answer to that question, one that was truthful to not only June, but himself, too.

So, he nodded.

“Yes,” Steve managed to say, throat tight. “Yeah, it does and I do. I really do.”

It felt good to admit it to himself, even if he’d always known the truth in the back of his mind. Steve knew these feelings weren’t new. He knew they had brewing inside of him for years despite how much he’d tried to run from thinking about it. He remembered being eighteen and feeling himself blush every time Bucky called him college boy. He remembered being twenty-five and trying not to get lost in the easy cadences of Bucky’s voice, telling one of his stories as he helped Steve bring box after box into the diner.

He remembered being eleven years old, sat on a stoop beside Bucky and wondering why his heart fluttered the way it did whenever Bucky smiled at him.

Loving Bucky was a part of who Steve was. He had long since carved a spot for himself in the roots of Steve’s heart and never managed to stray. He was a constant presence in the movie reel of Steve’s life, always making himself seen in some way, and it tugged at Steve’s insides in a way that made the backs of his eyes ache.

“Are you gonna marry him?” June asked, breaking Steve out of his reverie.

It was a question any kid would ask, especially during a moment like this. On top of that, they wouldn’t really know how long a person waited until deciding on something like that. June was only seven, after all. Her emotions were bound to be all over the place. She’d already jumped between several worst case scenarios already. Steve dreaded the thought of another wave coming on and worrying her even more than before.

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it, then opened it again. “One day I’d like to,” he said. “But not now. I don’t think—” he huffed a quiet laugh. “I don’t think we’ll talk about that for a while.”

That seemed to help. It was just enough to settle some of the tension in June’s shoulders, but it wasn’t enough to fully reassure her. She nodded, fingers worrying at the collar of Steve’s t-shirt.

“I mean what I said though, pal,” Steve said. “This won’t change anything between you and me, you got that? Nothing’s gonna change. You’re still my best girl, June. Don’t forget that.”

“I am?” June asked, and that’s when Steve noticed she was easing up. Still holding onto him tightly, but the tears were beginning  slowing down as Steve wiped them away. She wasn’t sniffing as much, her breathing wasn’t so frantic.

“Are you kidding?” Steve asked, giving her a grin that may have been a little wobbly. It was contagious, thankfully, and Steve felt himself settle at the sight of her own smile. “You always have been and you always will be. One day, you’ll be my age and it’ll still be the same way. Cross my heart.”

Her smile broadened, and Steve took it as an opportunity to ask, “Now can you give me another hug? I think I need one, too. You had me worried for a minute there, Junebug.”

June leaned back in, squeezing tight just as Steve did the same and when she pulled back, Steve sat her down on the bed before moving to sit beside her, his back against the pillows. “Can I ask you something?” she said.

“Anything,” Steve said.

“Why do you call me Junebug?” June asked.

It was entirely divorced from everything else, but maybe that was for the best. A distraction, a way to possibly cheer June up, was all Steve currently had on his side.

“Would you believe me if I told you I have no idea?” Steve asked. He brought her closer and let her lean close as he gave her a squeeze. “I can tell you when I called you that, and it was the first time I ever saw you. I was waiting in the nursery at the hospital and I was looking in at all the other babies trying to find you, and then a nurse came out and asked if I wanted to meet you, so of course I said yes. I sat and I waited until she came back and then there you were. She handed you over to me, and the first name I ever called you was Junebug. It was just meant to be. There was just no other name for you, pal. Now, can I ask you a question?”

June only nodded.

“Can we still have some fun tomorrow?” Steve asked. “We have the whole day with Sam until we leave, and I don’t want you to let anything upset you. We’ll talk about everything once we’re at the airport, but I promise it’s gonna be okay. I’ll keep saying it until you know it’s true. This doesn’t change anything for us. Life’s still gonna be the same old, same old. You’re still gonna wake up and go to school, you’re still gonna hang out at the bakery with me and spend time with your friends. We’ll still go to the movies and have dinner at Antonio’s, we’re just gonna…” Steve sighed. “We’re gonna go from a party of two to a party of three. Think about how much fun we had at the hockey game, or when we went trick-or-treating. You had fun, didn’t you? I thought you liked Bucky.”

“Yeah,” June said tiredly, voice still rough. “And I don’t hate Bucky. I just didn’t…”

She trailed off, looking ahead. Steve watched her for a few seconds before getting her to meet his gaze. “You didn’t know,” he said. “I’m sorry about that. I really am, and I know it’s hard to think about, but June, guess who else went through the same thing?”

“Who?” June asked.

Steve pointed to himself. “It was just Grandma Sarah and I for my whole life, and when I found out she had a…a friend, I was upset. I was so upset, but we talked it out and it turned out okay, even if they didn’t end up being perfect for each other,” he said. “I know it’s hard because I went through it. That’s why I’m so upset it had to happen this way, and why I wanted to find the right time to tell you. I was exactly where you were, but the reason this is so important to me is because Bucky and I…” he exhaled, slow enough for his breath not to tremble. “I love him, June. We want to be together and we both know that for sure, but if we’re gonna be such big parts of each other’s lives now, we need to make sure we’re all on the same page. All three of us.”

June didn’t say a word for a long, long moment, but then she finally looked up at Steve. “Is he gonna move in with us?” she asked, like she dreaded the answer. “Is he gonna pick us up at the airport tomorrow?”

That made Steve’s insides twist a little. “No, pal, he’s not moving in. He already has somewhere to live,” he said. “And I don’t know. He might. I need to make sure, so if he does, just please don’t let everything we talked about fly out the window. Remember everything I told you, alright? Nothing’s gonna change between us. Has anything been different for you and I? Anything at all?”

June shook her head. “No,” she mumbled. “I guess not.”

“So, there’s the proof,” Steve said. “Nothing changes between us. Ever.”

June nodded, and she leaned in closer, all but burrowing into Steve’s side, and he just held her tight. It was all he could do. She was bound to be clingy for a while, and he tried to prepare himself for that. They just needed to get through this. That was all. 

He kissed the top of her head, rested his lips there before speaking again. “Now, come on, let’s wash your face off and get some sleep. It’s been a long day as it is,” he said. “We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

June nodded, and he followed her to the bathroom to wipe her eyes, to help her blow her nose, which she didn’t really need help with at all, but Steve wanted her to see him in her line of sight, to see he was going to be there. Just like he’d told her.

Back in the bedroom, he pulled the covers up and got underneath as June did the same. He was relieved that he could have her close tonight, keep an eye on her. Even if they weren’t sharing a bed, Steve knew he would have ended up allowing her to stay with him in the end. The last thing he wanted was to leave her alone with her emotions still being so raw. He wasn’t a strong believer in letting his kid tough it out on her own.

He reached over to turn the bedside lamp off and then turned onto his side. He made himself breathe out and find something close to stability as he shut his eyes. All he had to do was breathe. It would be fine. It would all turn out fine, and he told himself so over and over until it felt at least partially true.

“Dad?” June whispered.

“What’s up, pal?”

There was a rustle of fabric that only meant June was turning over to face him. He opened his eyes and caught only the faint outline of her thanks to the strip of moonlight coming through the window. “Can you hold my hand?” she asked.

Steve’s heart felt so tight in his chest, it was a wonder he could will himself to speak at all. “‘Course I can,” he said, and he reached for her. Her hand was chilly in his own, and he leaned forward to press his lips against her forehead in a quick kiss. “Better?”

“Uh-huh,” June murmured, and just by the tone of her voice, Steve could tell just how much she’d calmed down. “G’night.”

Steve remained awake even when June was most certainly asleep, and he didn’t let go of her hand until she eventually turned over. Still, it was hard to look away. It was hard not to wonder what the morning would bring. Dread sat heavy in his stomach and he tried not to think about it, which turned out to be impossibly difficult, but in the end, the only thing that fought against it was exhaustion, and so Steve managed to fall into a light, restless sleep, still feeling all too aware of everything around him.

His dreams were senseless. He was tense all over, and he wanted nothing more than to be peaceful again.

-

Steve woke to June clinging to him in her sleep, arm draped around his neck and her cheek pressed to his shoulder. He found a way to gently move her back on the bed, taking care not to wake her. He tucked the covers over her shoulders before he rose and went straight to the bathroom, needing desperately to move. He wanted to go for a run, but his muscles even protested walking a few steps. He wasn’t sure if it was a flare-up or a lack of sleep, but he knew he needed to nip whatever was tugging at his bones in the bud.

He had a splitting headache, and the steam of a hot shower barely did anything to soothe it. He just felt...skittish, almost. Anxious all over. He tried over and over to remind himself that his own words were true. Every single one of them.

He got dressed in the bathroom and came out to wake June up, giving her a gentle shake. She stirred after a moment and opened her bleary eyes. “Morning, Junebug,” Steve said quietly. “You sleep okay?”

June yawned before she sat up. Her hair became a big, blond fuzzball during the night, and Steve knew he'd have to tame it soon. “Yeah, I’m still kinda tired though,” she said.

“Well, you did just wake up,” Steve told her, giving her a slight smile. He wasn’t sure where her mood was since she only opened her eyes a few moments ago, but he wanted to get at least the slightest idea of where she was. “Can I have a hug?”

She hummed affirmatively before she crawled closer, giving him a big squeeze. It wasn’t as urgent as it was the night before, but Steve made sure to hold her tight for a moment.

“Did you need a hug?” June asked.

Steve was surprised to find himself laughing at that, a quiet thing. “Kind of,” he said. “Maybe more than kind of.”

It made June smile, just a little, barely reaching her tired eyes. “Is Sam up yet?” she asked.

“I’m gonna go check,” Steve said. “But you get washed up and meet us downstairs, okay?”

June looked hesitant at first, like she was afraid of walking in on new information all over again, but she seemed to steel herself as she nodded. “I’ll be super fast,” she said. “Promise.”

With that, she disappeared into the bathroom. Steve set her clothes on the bed and then left the room. He found Sam in the hall, about to make his way downstairs, so down they went together, making a beeline for the kitchen. Steve was suddenly grateful for the existence of programmable coffee machines. The kitchen smelled like a fresh pot the moment they walked in, and as Sam sat down, Steve made his way toward the coffee maker, grabbing mugs in the cabinet above it.

“Want anything in yours?” Steve asked.

Sam shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “Not in the mood.”

Steve found sugar on the table, and then leftover milk from the fridge. He set both down on the counter and drummed his fingers on the top of it before he finally got his brain working again and reached for the pot.

“So,” Sam began, almost hesitantly. “Can I ask what happened after you two disappeared?”

Steve sighed as he poured two steaming servings of coffee, and after he set them on the table, he sat down across from Sam heavily. 

“A lot,” he said. “June was…she was going through so many different reactions at once. She was sad, she was scared, she was angry. At me, at Bucky, at everything, and it took forever for me to talk her down. She was a mess, and ‘cause of that, I was almost a mess. It was a long night, to make a long story short. We’re not done talking, not by a long shot, but I think putting a pin in it until we’re back home is for the better. I want her to enjoy the rest of today before we have to get back into it, so I’m gonna try not to bring anything up unless I have to. I don’t want her to get upset all over again. I’ve never seen her like that.”

“She’s just surprised,” Sam said. “Rug’s been pulled out from under her feet, sure, but she won’t feel like that forever.”

“I know,” Steve said. He rubbed his face with both hands and resisted the urge to attempt hiding there. He looked up at Sam once more. “I know she won’t but I can’t help worrying. I know I need her to get back to her usual routine and I know doing that will make a difference, but I think the longer I wait, the more it’ll snowball. I already learned that the hard way.”

“Look, it’s already out in the open, so there’s no point in me or anyone else telling you that you should have given her more time,” Sam said. “All you can do now is make sure she’s okay. You would have had to do this in two months, six months, however long you ended up waiting. She’s gonna come around with time.”

Steve shut his eyes for a few seconds. “I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into this,” he said. “I didn’t want this to—”

“It’s June. I’m not being dragged into anything,” Sam said, quieter than before. He leaned across the table, like he was making sure Steve was hanging onto his words. “This is just something you have to find a way through. It’s not the end of the world, even if you think it is. She’s a kid, Steve. Kids get upset. They don’t like change. She’s only gonna feel like she’s alone in this if someone gives her that idea, and I think you’re the last guy on Earth who’d let anything like that happen.”

Steve nodded and cupped his hands around his mug, allowing the warmth of it to bleed into his palms. “I’ll fix it,” he said. “I will. I just need to give her a break for right now, so I think I’m gonna ask Nat to pick us up from the airport tonight. I just need to give Bucky a call, tell him what’s going on.”

“If he’s as good of a guy as you say, he’ll understand,” Sam said. “So, go do that. Get it done while you can and then we’ll just see where today takes us.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, nodding and doing his best not to crumble under his nerves. He didn’t want to make himself feel worse, and he didn’t want to risk June seeing him in such a state. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He grabbed his mug and headed for the door. He wondered if Bucky was busy, then reminded himself that wasn’t possible considering the diner was closed today. However, it wasn’t unlikely. Bucky usually ran errands on Sundays, so it might be a little more difficult to catch him for more than five minutes. Steve wasn’t sure why he was so worried about talking to him. Bucky would understand. Of course he would. Didn’t he always?

Steve walked out a few steps away from the house, and instantly felt the chill in the air. He wondered if it had gotten bitter back at home yet, and tried to distract himself with that as he dialed Bucky, waiting for him to answer.

“Hello?” Bucky said. It was surprisingly quiet wherever he was, and Steve wasn’t sure he’d ever talked to Bucky over the phone without there being some type of commotion happening in the background.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve began. “You busy?”

“I’m at home, so if you call parking my ass in front of the TV for the day, then yeah, I’m busy,” Bucky joked. “Everything alright?”

Steve hesitated before he finally made himself speak. “Not exactly,” he said. “I mean, I’m sure it’ll be fine, but still I—” he huffed. “June knows. She overheard me talking to Sam last night, so she knows everything.”

“Shit,” Bucky muttered. “Is she okay?”

“Right now, I don’t know. I think so,” Steve said, trying to keep his tone even. “But, Buck, she was so upset last night. Worried about a million and one scenarios. She felt like we were lying to her or…freezing her out. It was bad, Buck. I calmed her down for the most part, told her everything I could to make her feel better, but I can't help worrying about her."

“God,” Bucky said, and Steve could hear him sigh through the receiver. “Okay. Okay. It’s gonna be fine, you hear me? She’s gonna cool down but you just need to give her a minute to do that. You’ll talk to her again once she’s feeling like herself, and I’ll be invisible for a little while until she’s ready to see me again. How’s that sound?”

Bucky made it sound so simple, but it didn’t stop Steve from tearing himself up. He took a breath of the morning air before he willed himself to speak. “I know I’m gonna have to ask Nat to pick us up tonight,” he said. “I’m sorry. I really wanted to see you.”

“Steve,” Bucky said, warm and gravelly. “Steve, hey, it’s gonna be fine. What, did you think I would get mad about it? Because that ain’t gonna happen. This is your kid we’re talking about. She’s your top priority, I know she is, and because of that, she’s my top priority, too. Just let her get back to feeling like herself and then we’ll figure out where to go from there. I still want to see you. You know I do, but I think I can make it one more day if you can.”

Steve felt strangely emotional. Edgy. He wanted nothing more than to be back home, to spend hours upon hours with Bucky and not think about anything at all. He swallowed thickly. “You think you can come over tomorrow?” he asked. “Even if it’s just for a few minutes?”

“I can come by in the morning,” Bucky said. “Maybe nine o’clock. My shift doesn’t start until noon tomorrow, so I’m all yours till duty calls.”

Steve took a long drink from his coffee, hoping to chase the chill out of his bones. “I just really miss you,” he blurted out a moment later. “Feels like I’ve been gone for longer than a few days.”

“Tell me about it,” Bucky said. “Whenever I’m at the diner, I keep looking across the street out of habit and I’m surprised every time I don’t see you, so hurry up and get your ass back in Brooklyn, Rogers. The city misses you about as much as I do.”

It made him laugh, just a little, and it was enough to cut through some of his worries. He didn’t feel perfect, or anywhere near better yet, but he was relieve relieved. Talking to Bucky made him feel like himself again, if only for a moment. He could handle what was to come, if anything came at all, as long as they worked together.

“I’ll be back soon,” Steve said, quiet like it was a secret, and he once again stopped himself from saying the words he deeply wanted to utter. He’d save those for later. Once he saw Bucky again. “Thanks. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, don’t think about that,” Bucky said. “You don’t need to worry about that ‘cause there’s no way for you to get me off your back. Just try to enjoy the rest of your trip and text me before you take off. Let me know how you guys are doing.”

“Yes sir,” Steve said jokingly. “Bye, Buck.”

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart,” Bucky said.

They hung up after that. All Steve could feel was a tug on his ribcage, like he was physically being pulled back toward Bucky by whatever brought them together.

He sighed and leaned against the side of the house, willing himself to breathe and willing himself not to worry about the worst. He’d make things right with June. He’d be able to get back to a normal routine with Bucky, and maybe, he could do this all before Christmas came around.

That was nearly a month away, but Steve had time. He knew he had time.

Chapter Text

While Steve had the chance, he typed out a quick message to Natasha, asking if she felt like driving out to Newark to pick him up. Thankfully, she said it wouldn’t be a problem, and Steve was able to breathe a little easier knowing that was taken care of. He’d missed her, anyway, and spending a little time with her was something he needed more than he initially realized.

When Steve came back inside, June was sitting at the table with Sam, eating a bowl of cereal and looking shockingly relaxed. “Hi,” she said, waving with her free hand.

“Hey, pal,” Steve said, coming to sit in the chair beside her and kissing the top of her head. “What did I miss?”

“Not much,” Sam said. “We were just talking about what to do today.”

“Yup,” June said. “But we’re pretty much stumped.”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something once we put our heads together,” Steve said. “Unless Sam wants to hang out at home instead.”

“Believe me, I don’t,” Sam said. “I’m officially on the kick of doing something every day, so I’m gonna be bored out of my mind once you two go home.”

“You’re coming to visit us though, right?” June asked. “That’s what Dad said.”

“Sure am,” Sam said, then turned to Steve. “You get in touch with Nat yet?”

“She said she can pick us up tonight,” Steve said, making sure that June was listening. “You excited to see her?”

June nodded. “Super excited,” she managed to say with a mouth full of cereal.

Steve reached over to tuck her hair away from her face, partly as an excuse to get a better look at her. She seemed to be in a decent mood for now, so Steve didn’t push. He’d simply stick to his plan and not mention anything to do with their conversation or Bucky or anything that could possibly stress her out.

It was their last day in New Orleans, possibly their last for a while, and Steve wanted them both to enjoy it.

-

They spent time around the house, and Steve helped Sam pull his Christmas tree out from the basement and decided to work on setting it up right then and there instead of simply leaving it as it was until the first of the month. So, they dug through box after box and sorted out ornaments, tinsel, and the star before getting to work.

June was over the moon about it, and Steve realized they’d be doing this all over again in just a couple of days. He thought he’d let her have a say in the decorations this year, let her deck it out however she liked. Between that and the thought of getting his shopping done, it was hard to shake the sudden excitement about the holidays out of his system.

Just like he’d told himself before, he could work things out by then. He had faith in that. Where that faith came from, he wasn’t quite sure, but he kept it close to his heart and hoped for the best.

The music coming from the stereo drowned out his worries for a while. There were a few pictures taken, and then soon after the sun began to set, they loaded the trunk of Sam’s car with luggage and went on their way. It was early enough that stopping to eat only helped them kill some extra time, and so that was exactly what they did until it was officially time to get a move on.

Sam dropped them off at the entrance of the airport. He got out of the car as Steve grabbed his and June’s things from the trunk, hands in his pockets to shield them from the steadily dropping temperature. “I know I’ll see you soon,” Sam said. “But I’ll still miss you both like crazy.”

“Me too,” Steve said, and the moment Sam opened his arms, Steve pulled him in for a hug. He almost closed his eyes when Sam squeezed him back with the same fervor as Steve. “Thanks for having us. Thanks for everything.”

“Thanks for coming,” Sam said. “If you didn’t, I would have just shown up on your doorstep and brought Thanksgiving to you.”

Steve puffed out a laugh before he leaned back, giving Sam’s arm a squeeze and then letting go. “I’ll call you after we board?” he said.

“Works for me,” Sam said, then looked down toward June. “Just because we’re seeing each other soon doesn’t mean I don’t need a hug.”

June grinned before coming forward to hug Sam around the waist. He briefly rubbed her back before letting go, and after that, they all said their final goodbyes. Soon enough, Steve and June were walking into the airport and making their way toward security. Steve couldn’t help feeling a little pinch in the core of his chest at the thought of leaving, but this time next year, Sam would be back in New York and Steve wouldn’t have to worry about distance anymore.

All he wanted to do now was get home, sleep in his own bed, and get some time with Bucky.

-

On the plane, he did the exact same thing he did on the way to New Orleans. He sent a message to Sam, to Bucky, and Natasha, then pocketed his phone as the plane began to taxi. June tapped his shoulder just then, leaning up a little to speak over the noise of the engines.

“Want me to hold your hand again?” she asked.

Steve smiled. “Sure thing,” he said. opening his palm. “You excited for school tomorrow?”

June nodded as she took his hand. “Yeah,” she said. “I miss my friends, but I kinda wish I could sleep like I did at Sam’s every day.”

“Me too,” Steve chuckled. “But hey, you’ll have a whole week off soon, and it’ll be like doing it all over again.”

The plane sped up, soon lifting off, and June suddenly held Steve’s hand a little tighter than before. “Hey, Dad?” she asked.

“Mhm?” Steve hummed, meeting her eyes.

“You meant what you said, right?” June continued. “That nothing’s gonna come between us?”

“What?” Steve asked. trying to sound gentle even when he had to speak a little louder thanks to the noise. “Of course I did. I meant that. We’ll always be like this, just like I said. I’ll even pinky swear to prove it to you.”

June shook her head, remaining silent for a moment before finally speaking again. “You don’t have to,” she said. “I believe you, and…” she hesitated briefly. like she was trying to find the right words.”And don’t tell Bucky I was mad, okay?”

Steve was confused for a moment, but then he couldn’t help feeling utterly, sickeningly relieved at that. It may not have been much, but it was enough. 

God, was it enough. 

“You got it, Junebug,” he said. “You got it.”

This might be moving behind them already, or at least, Steve hoped so.

-

The flight wasn’t full, so it was much more peaceful than Steve had expected. Even landing was a breeze, but the knowledge of everything running smoothly did nothing to loosen the knot in his chest. His entire body felt like an exposed nerve, and the swirling worry inside of his stomach almost made him nauseous as he walked down to the spot he was meant to meet Natasha at, June’s hand held tightly in his own.

“Hey, if you want to get some sleep in the car, go ahead,” Steve told her. “We’ve had a pretty long day.”

June only nodded before she and Steve took the escalator down, then stepped outside where the bitter cold waited for them. It reminded Steve to get a refill for his inhaler once he had some time. It was full enough to last quite a while, but he had a feeling he would be using it more often now. It was like clockwork. Winter and spring were the worst times of the year for his asthma. His lungs were left tight as a drum and taking a deep breath felt almost impossible sometimes. 

Luckily, June never had to deal with that. He wasn’t sure how she’d avoided taking on some of Steve’s health problems, but he wasn’t going to question a miracle like that.

They walked a few steps forward until Steve spotted Natasha’s car, and a moment later, she was getting out, coming around to meet him. She looked tired, like she’d just gotten free from work, but Steve was sure he looked about the same, and hugging her was almost a relief.

“Hey,” he said, breathing in cold air and the familiar bright citrus of her perfume.

“Hey yourself,” Natasha said as she leaned back. “How was the flight?”

Steve only shrugged. “Quiet,” he said. “And I mean that in the best way.”

“Did you have fun?” Natasha asked, but that was aimed at June, who looked more than happy to see her as they walked toward the car.

Steve left them to it and set his and June’s bags in the trunk, sliding into the backseat once he was finished, ending up right beside June again. He shifted until he got comfortable and zipped his hoodie a little higher, buttoning his coat up for good measure despite the heat rushing through the inside of the car,

He was surprised when Yelena turned around in the passenger’s seat, dressed in a bright green coat. “Hi,” she said. “Natasha told me she was on her way to pick you up, and I was going to ask her for a ride home anyway so I tagged along. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever missed hanging out with my boss at any job I’ve ever had, but you’re definitely the exception.”

Steve laughed. “Don’t think of me as your boss, Yelena,” he said. “I’m your partner. And if it makes you feel any better, I missed you, too.”

Yelena’s smile was widening. “I can work with that,” she said. “Partner.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Natasha said drily as she drove away from the curb. “I should have known you were trying to replace me.”

Yelena scoffed. “I can’t help that we spend more time together,” she argued. “And Steve is the only one who actually cares about the things I like. I made a croquembouche yesterday and all you had to say was wow. He would have been impressed.”

“I was impressed, I’m just not a baker,” Natasha said.

“You made a croquembouche?” Steve asked. “How did it come out?”

“See for yourself,” Yelena said, handing her phone over.

Sure enough, there was a photo of a towering croquembouche, and Steve couldn’t help wondering what she did with it, asking just that as he handed her phone back.

“A friend was having a party,” Yelena said. “Some big, rich people party and she asked me to take care of it, and that’s good money. Maybe you should start doing wedding cakes or something. You’re good with decorating, I’m good at flavors. It all works out.”

She wasn’t wrong, and while it had been at the back of Steve’s mind, it just wasn’t something he gave a lot of thought to until now. Yelena might have been onto something. “See? Just like I said,” he told her. “Partners.”

“It was meant to be,” Yelena said. “Destiny.”

The rest of the way back noisy thanks to the three of them. June had fallen asleep about ten minutes in, head leaning back against the seat, and Steve let her rest. She was a heavy sleeper to begin with. Noise rarely woke her, so none of the talking made her stir awake again. He was no different, really. Living in a city gave him the ability to tune out just about everything. 

It was nice, just getting his mind off of everything with Natasha and Yelena for a while, and while they didn’t stick around after dropping Steve off, it would only be a matter of time before he saw them again. Natasha wanted to meet up soon, Yelena would be at the bakery tomorrow morning, and after all of that was discussed, they went their separate ways.

June woke just long enough to walk upstairs, to change into her pajamas. Steve focused more on making sure she was in bed and back to getting some rest before he did anything else. Once he was confident that she was asleep, he dumped their clothes directly into the washer and left it to run. He had plenty of clean clothes to change into, and that was exactly what he did, going straight into his bedroom to change before getting into his own bed.

God, he was exhausted.

Traveling of any kind always had a tendency to wipe him out. He barely kept his eyes open long enough to text Bucky and let him know he was back home, that they were still on for tomorrow morning, but the moment he’d sent it, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake and wait for a response. He turned around and gave into the fatigue pulling at his bones, allowing himself drift off to sleep.

-

Waking at dawn was harder in the winter.

Steve thought he would be used to it by this point, but at five-thirty, there was no sun at all and it was impossible not to feel disoriented, like he should just crawl right back into bed. He showered and got dressed, he ate breakfast, and five minutes to six, he went downstairs and tried to get back into the flow of his routine.

He felt like he hadn’t been in the bakery in weeks, so he gave everything a good wipe down before getting anything else started. By the time he finished, Yelena was unlocking the door and slipping inside, braid windblown and messy. She pulled her gloves off, stuffing them into her coat pocket, and set her earmuffs on the hook by the door. “I’m wearing three layers,” she said. “Three. And I’m still freezing.”

She pulled off her coat, which revealed even more colorful clothing underneath. A deep purple turtleneck was worn under a fuzzy lavender sweater. Steve smiled to himself, just for a second. It was a nice contrast to the pale greens and creams the bakery was decked out in, to his own greys and pale blues he was currently wearing.

“Well, lucky for you, the ovens are preheating,” Steve said, leaning against the counter. “They warmed me right up.”

Yelena came around to grab her apron and tie it on before pulling her sleeves up. “Good,” she said. “I need to move. I’ve been up since four and I feel like I’m going to scream if I sit around for another second.”

“What were you doing up at four?” Steve asked.

“Doing this and this,” she said, pointing to the elaborate crown braid wrapped around her head and then her makeup.  “It takes a lot of work, you know. I don’t wake up looking as beautiful as I always do.”

Steve grinned, grateful for the company. Being alone with his thoughts wasn’t something he wanted to deal with until he absolutely had to, and he had to get back to his schedule more than anything else. Just a few days away left him feeling off his game, but with Yelena around, he knew he would get back to it soon enough.

“So,” he said. “What should we start with?”

-

They went through the usual menu for the morning, and then got to talking about the fun part, discussing their menu for December since it was already the first. Steve felt like time was moving both too quickly and dripping by as slow as molasses.

He eventually left to wake June up and then drop her off at school. She seemed more than happy to go, especially once she spotted her friends outside, and Steve was relieved to see a smile on her face after everything that happened on Saturday. Now, all there was to do was go home and wait for Bucky. He’d already told Yelena he’d be gone for a while, and since there was nothing to do but run the register, she seemed fine with that.

So, Steve made it up to his apartment and tried to both warm himself up and quell his nerves with tea rather than coffee. He was nervous enough. He didn’t need his heart pounding even harder than it already was, so this was the only way to go.

Bucky texted him soon after, saying he’d be arriving in about ten minutes, and God, was Steve glad he was clean and looked presentable, if not a little tired, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that. The only maintenance he did was fixing his windblown hair and spritzing a little extra cologne on.

The next few minutes were nerve-wracking, somehow. The anticipation Steve felt mingled with the tension that lingered with all of his worries swirled endlessly inside of him, but he tried to focus on seeing Bucky instead. It was so soon, a few minutes rather than a few days, and Steve couldn’t help wondering what the next couple of hours would be like now that they were creeping up on him.

When the buzzer finally began to ring, Steve immediately let Bucky inside and opened the front door to catch him jogging up the stairs, that same familiar, crooked smile pulled over his lips.

He came right inside and Steve shut the door behind him, leaning against it heavily as he took a good look at Bucky, bringing his hands up to either side of his face just as Bucky’s did the same, the scruff of Bucky’s beard scratching Steve’s fingers.

“You’re freezing,” Steve said, unable to stop himself from smiling.

“I know,” Bucky said, chuckling. “Good thing you’re here to help me warm up.”

Steve took that as a cue to get even closer, and he wrapped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders tight just as the other man’s came around his waist. He smelled like cold air and something that was so inherently Bucky , something Steve couldn’t quite place but just craved more and more of.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky said, voice vibrating right through Steve’s bones. “I missed you. Missed you bad.”

“God, I missed you too, Buck,” Steve said. He felt strangely emotional. Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the need to see Bucky so badly, but he felt his eyes heat up, and because of that, he clung on a little longer, a little tighter, just so Bucky didn’t see his face. The last thing Steve wanted to do was cry the moment they were finally back together. “It’s been driving me crazy.”

“C’mere,” Bucky said quietly, easing back to meet Steve’s eyes. He looked good. He had color in his cheeks, which undoubtedly came from the cold, and the crinkles around his eyes from smiling made Steve’s heart flip over. “Been wanting to do this since the second you left.”

Bucky’s lips may have been cold, but the kiss left Steve feeling so warm that it didn’t matter. He melted into it, into the circle of Bucky’s arms and hummed softly against his mouth, eyes falling shut. He clung close and tilted his head, exhaling hard when their lips briefly parted.

Bucky kissed him one more time, threading his fingers through Steve’s hair and scratching gently against his scalp. It was almost soothing. Every part of Steve wanted more. He just needed to feel, even if this didn’t go any further. Having Bucky close was enough.

When the kiss finally broke, they barely moved, still remaining in each other’s space. Bucky’s breath was warm as it fanned against Steve’s face. “Hi,” he said, so low Steve nearly missed it.

“Hi,” Steve repeated. It was hard to stop himself from smiling, the rest of the world long since faded away. “Been a while.”

Bucky hummed, lips trailing over the corner of Steve’s mouth and then pressing slowly up his jaw. “Long while,” he said. “Meaning you’re gonna have a hard time getting rid of me today.”

Steve’s smile returned as he tilted his head into each kiss, relieved to feel Bucky so close again. “You won’t hear me complaining,” he said. “I wish you could stay all day.”

“We’ll get back on track soon,” Bucky said gently, hands roaming all over Steve with every word. “We will, but don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just think about the next couple of hours. See where that takes us.”

Steve could do that. He wanted to do that more than anything.

Kissing Bucky again was easy. Letting himself be led toward the bedroom was even easier, and when Bucky finally stripped out of his layers of clothing, all Steve wanted to do was touch him like it as the first time all over again, do his best to memorize every single detail.

-

By the time they were finished, Steve felt like he needed another shower.

Sweat dried and cooled on his skin and in his hair as he caught his breath. Every drop of tension had been long since flushed from his muscles, senses zeroed in on nothing but Bucky, and being held so close by him had those soft waves of happiness continuing to lap over Steve’s body, warming him up from the inside out.

“You okay?” Bucky asked.

Steve’s fingers still itched to touch him, so touch him he did. He combed his fingers through the mess of Bucky’s hair, smoothing it back before settling his hand at Bucky’s shoulder, tracing over the skin there. “‘M okay,” Steve said, laced with a sigh. “Just glad to be home. Glad to see you.”

Bucky leaned forward for another kiss. It was slower, less feverish than the last few, like he was savoring it. “Hey,” he said, right up against Steve’s mouth. “Remember when I said I had something to tell you?”

Steve nodded. “Mhm,” he said. “Can’t say I’m not curious.”

Bucky moved further back to lay on one of the pillows, and at this angle, Steve could see him much better. “I was just waiting till you were back home and things were settling down,” Bucky said. “I might as well just tell you now. I’ve been looking for a place of my own for a while, but I’m thinking it’s time I just put a pin in it.

Steve’s brows furrowed together. “Why?” he said. “That’s…it’s great. I’m happy for you, but why are you stopping?”

“Because,” Bucky contiued. “My parents are planning on retiring next year. They’re moving out on Long Island with the girls because they want to be closer to the rest of the family, Becca and her fiance already found a place of their own not too far away from here, so that means…”

A part of Steve almost entertained the idea of Bucky moving away, but once his worries disappeared, it clicked. “Bucky,” he said, a bewildered smile already pulling at his lips. “What are you saying?”

“They want me to take the house over,” Bucky answered, sitting up on his elbow. “Probably this time next year, but I won’t move in till January. We still have plenty to figure out, plenty in between, but that’s the plan.”

“Oh, my God,” Steve said. He leaned up to seal their lips together again, and again, and again, barely able to get his words out each time. “Buck, this is amazing. You’re amazing. Can’t even tell you how happy I am for you.”

“Plenty of space,” Bucky said, hand at Steve’s nape. “No rent. No landlords. Won’t have to get some studio with barely any elbow room. Just the same old house all to myself.”

For a long moment, he said nothing at all, but the way he was looking at Steve was almost pensive, like he was both drinking him in and trying to look even deeper, see even more. “And you,” he eventually added. “And June. I’m gonna want both of you there with me, I just want to make sure that’s what you want.”

It made Steve’s heart skip, jumping up right in his throat, and he hoped, desperately that he didn’t look conflicted, that he didn’t give into the emotions that had been swirling inside of him since the minute Bucky walked through the door. He struggled to find the ability to speak at first, seeing even more possibilities than before appearing right in front of him.

Steve wouldn’t be able to have this with a stranger. He wouldn’t have truth and plans and thoughts about the future, but with Bucky…all of it was within his grasp, and it had felt like that for so long, but this was different. This was another level of commitment, one Steve desperately wanted to jump at.

“I want it,” Steve managed to say. “I want it so bad, Buck, I don’t even have the words.”

“Don’t need ‘em,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Don’t even need ‘em, Stevie. I just need you to say yes.”

“Yes,” Steve said. “Yes, Bucky. You already know the answer’s yes.”

Once again, Bucky’s smile left the corners of his eyes crinkling, and that was how Steve knew he really was happy. There wasn’t a drop of apprehension or worry in him, it was like something told him that this was meant to work out. Maybe Bucky had the Sight, after all.

His arms wrapped around Steve’s waist and he rolled them over until he could hover over him, leaning down to kiss Steve’s mouth, his chin, his cheek, and the line of his nose which was so intimate, so utterly affectionate that Steve couldn’t stop himself from saying the words he’d been trying to save for so long.

“I love you,” Steve said, eyes shut into the sensation. “Love you so much, Buck.”

Bucky slowly raised his head, eyes locked onto Steve’s, burning right through him. He was staring at Steve like he had the entire universe hidden behind his eyes. “You love me?”

“Think I always have,” Steve said, unable to stop himself now. “Maybe as long as I’ve known you. I wanted to wait for the right time to tell you, but I guess I just couldn’t wait anymore.”

He felt drunk on his own happiness. Here, cut off from everything else, Steve could think of nothing but Bucky and feel nothing but their bodies slotting together, senses overtaken by all of it.

“Steve,” Bucky said, gentle in a way that made Steve want to hear him say it over and over again. “Steve, I just asked if you wanted to live with me. I think we’re way past figuring out when’s the right time to say something. We’re doing this our way, and that’s about all there is to it.”

Before Steve could respond, Bucky was leaning down to kiss him in a way that pushed every single worry right out of Steve’s head. All he could do was breathe into it, arms wrapping around Bucky’s shoulders just as he eased back.

“I love you,” Bucky said, voice low and warm. “I love you, Steve. I wanted to wait, too. Wanted to make it special, but this feels like the right time to me.”

Steve breathed out slowly, contentedly. “Might be the perfect time,” he said.

Bucky seemed to agree, because he leaned down to seal their lips together one more time, in  a way that made feel even more sure about this than before.

-

They got dressed a while later. Steve wasn’t sure exactly when they did since all he could focus on was how blissful he felt. They moved to the couch, and Steve leaned into Bucky’s side just as his arm settled around Steve’s shoulders. There was still some extra time before they had to get back to work, and as relaxed as they were, Steve knew they still had something else to discuss, made even more obvious by Bucky bringing it up.

“How’s June?” Bucky asked. “You two talk about it anymore?”

Steve shook his head. “Not yet,” he said. “I mean, not fully, but she brought it up on the plane. Said she believed what I said, and to not tell you that she was upset about it.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed together. “She didn’t want me to know she was upset,” he said. “Why?”

“I have no idea,” Steve said. “Maybe she thought it’d hurt your feelings. She never brought it up again, and I think she’s just…” he rubbed his hand over his eyes, sitting up a little further. “I know she was just scared of the worst. Hearing things, seeing things, in real life, stories she must have heard in passing, it can really get to a kid her age and that’s why I wanted to take my time to begin with. Sure, she seems fine right now. She made it sound like she’s trying to accept things as they are but she’s only seven. I can’t expect the world of her. I can’t expect her not to be worried about her whole life changing.”

“You can’t,” Bucky said. “Any kid would do the same thing, but if she said what she said last night, it means there’s room to talk to her about it. She’s not gonna shy away now that she knows you were telling the truth when you said things’ll still be the same for the two of you. As long as she knows that, she’ll be okay, and since she already knows about us, you might be better off doing it soon.”

Steve nodded. “I know,” he said. “And you’re right. I’ll ask her about it later tonight, but I feel like…I don’t know, I feel like I just need to give her more . I want her to be happy, too. She needs to understand how much we want her onboard.”

For a moment, Bucky said nothing, just watching Steve before he straightened up. “I could try talking to her,” he said. “Just the two of us. I just don’t know if she’d go for it. She could clam up or not say too much, but it might be worth a shot, Steve. Hearing it from both of us might be for the best.”

It was an idea. An idea Steve could definitely get behind, but it needed to be soon and most importantly, he needed to talk to June, too. He needed to start the conversation up again as soon as possible, he needed not to let this boil over into her feeling worried all over again.

Steve sighed, turning to fully face Bucky. He slid his arms around Steve’s waist. A steadying hold that kept his mind clear.  “I think it’s a good idea,” Steve said. “I think once she knows she can talk to you and it’s all officially out in the open, it’ll be easier than we think. I don’t know what else to do, and maybe once we do this, we’ll both have a better idea of where to head next.”

Bucky’s hand moved in slow circles over Steve’s back, tracing over it through his sweater. “We’ll figure it out,” he said. “Ain’t the end of the world. Just something we gotta work through.”

It was hard not to smile, if only a little. “You’re good at that,” Steve said.

“Good at what?” Bucky asked.

“I dunno,” Steve said. “Just making me feel like things are easy.”

“Hey, even if we run into something that isn’t, we’ll figure it out,” Bucky said. “Promise.”

The kiss Steve leaned into was soft. Reassuring. It felt good, being back with Bucky. It felt good to be close to him, to talk to him, to get all of their truths out on the table in a way that felt right for them, slow and easy and with more excitement than anything else. The path they were on felt right, and Steve trusted in that instinct deeply, which meant he trusted that everything was going to work out.

They were doing this together, and Steve knew that was the key to everything.

Chapter Text

Bucky started his shift, Steve went back to his own work, and he tried his best to focus on the optimism he had about tomorrow. He wouldn’t let his own doubts and fears drag him down when he knew this would work. It had to work. He wasn’t someone who’d leave his own flesh and blood out in the cold. This was June’s life, too, and Steve wanted her to be as happy as he was.

All Steve could do now was focus on the rest of the day. He began working on making buttercream for the frozen birthday cake, which now doused in simple syrup and defrosting on his counter. It was due to be picked up the following morning, so he had to start now. He whipped it, folded mint green food coloring in, and spooned a decent amount over the cake, spreading it slowly around and rotating his stand as he went.

“So, how was your date?” Yelena asked.

Steve almost cut a line directly through the cake when he lifted his head. “My what?” he burst out.

“Your date,” Yelena said. “You know. The date with whoever you’ve been sneaking out with every morning for weeks. That date.”

Stupidly, Steve felt his cheeks heat up. “I,” he began. “I thought I was being subtle.”

“As subtle as a neon sign,” Yelena said, then raised her hands in defense. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to spill the beans. Not unless you want to.”

Steve sighed as he continued frosting the cake, using it as a point of focus since he had nothing else. “It’s,” he said, a soft laugh lacing his words. “It’s good. I guess. It’s really good. We’re just figuring a few things out right now, but I’ll have a better answer to give you soon.”

“Can I at least ask what his name is?” Yelena cajoled. “Come on. Do I know him?”

“Actually, you do,” Steve said. “He comes in and picks up the orders for the diner.”

“Oh,” Yelena said, brows furrowing as it hit her. “Oh. Bucky. Right. Him. Tall, loud, looks like a grizzly bear.”

“A grizzly bear?” Steve asked. “Is that a good thing?”

“Well, you seem to think so,” Yelena teased. “Come on, don’t worry about what I think. He’s a nice guy, and you get all, I don’t know, loopy whenever you see him. Not bad loopy, just happy.”

Steve couldn’t help the way his cheeks warmed up. He never thought of himself as being expressive, even when Sam and Natasha pointed it out but if it was showing on him this much, why should he bother hiding it anymore?

“Well, I am happy,” Steve said. “Really happy.”

“Aw,” Yelena all but cooed. “If you want, I can make your wedding cake. Whenever you need it.”

Steve laughed. “Just so we’re clear, I’m holding you to that,” he said

“Oh, I hope you do,” Yelena said. She grabbed a spoon from one of the drawers, dipping it into the bowl of frosting beside Steve and tasting it. “I’m counting on you to. This is good, by the way.”

Steve slid the bowl closer to himself. “Thanks, but don’t eat all of it,” he said. “I need to finish this thing up.”

“Fine, fine,” Yelena groaned, then wrinkled her nose as she shook her head. “So rude.”

They got back to work soon after, and once the cake was finished and set in the fridge, there was nothing left to do but pick June up, so that was exactly what Steve did. It was cold. Cold enough to make him pull his beanie down a little further over his ears, but with the way he was bundled up, the walk wouldn’t be so bad. He’d done it in even thinner clothes before, and even recalled a time when he was so frazzled he’d arrived with his apron on.

June was bundled into her own coat, a heavier one than her usual puffer jacket, and this one made her look like a big fluffy snowball, the white only contrasted by the purple of her gloves and her trapper hat, fit snugly on her head. She talked for the entire walk home, and from what it sounded like, she had a busy day. As always, Steve was told every detail about her time with Monica and Cassie, but he listened intently. Even when he was dead on his feet, he always made sure to listen, to be as present as possible.

Instead of going upstairs, they went into the bakery for a little while and June did her homework at the table with a blueberry muffin beside her. He would be lying if he said he didn’t leave them on the menu year round just to make sure June got one. It was one of her favorites, after all. The hot chocolate left in the back was also for her, but Steve couldn’t stop himself from stealing a packet every once in a while. Sometimes, he craved sweetness more than caffeine, and the drink just got the job done.

At a quarter to five, Steve and Yelena finished cleaning and after making sure everything else was in order, closed up. Since June was done with her homework and there was nothing else to do, they made a trip to the grocery store as they needed more in the kitchen than frozen waffles, some instant mashed potatoes, and a few bottles of condiments.

Filling the cabinets and the fridge was easy, and dinner was even easier. With the cold weather, it was hard not to crave something warm and comforting, and he was finding that almost all of his meals were getting that way. Minestrone soup didn’t take long, and it kept for a while. He could keep having it on hand, even send June a thermos full of it for lunch, and make it work for dinner again, too.

“Hey,” Steve said after putting everything away. He turned the dishwasher on and came over to the small office chair where June sat, doing his best to catch her eye. “I know we just did it with Sam, but what do you say we put our tree up?”

It was enough to take June’s attention away from the computer entirely, and besides, it would have only been a matter of time before her hour on it was up. She jumped out of the office chair, standing on her toes as she looked up at Steve. “Can we listen to Christmas music while we do it?” she asked.

“Can’t imagine not doing that, so of course we can,” Steve said, giving her a smile. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

Their tree was stored in the box it came in and sitting in the back of the hallway closet, which was filled with cleaning supplies, and had the vacuum, the mop, and the broom blocking it. He then ventured into his own closet and found the large plastic container filled with ornaments gathered over the years. Not just from June’s time, but a lot of his ma’s old ornaments, too, some that were bought before Steve was even born.

He brought it out into the living room and then set the tree up, fluffing it before he and June began  setting the ornaments up. Eventually, he needed to pull a dining chair over for her to stand up and work on the middle of the tree once the bottom was mostly filled. They stumbled across ornaments June picked out when she was young, and then some that Steve had picked out when he was about her age, one of which was a small, glass Santa in his sleigh being pulled by his reindeer, but his attention was captured by another soon after, one that was still in good condition, even if it was a little worn with age. It was nearly thirty years old, after all.

Last Christmas made putting any ornaments from his own past difficult. Steve had felt gloomy enough with the weight of his own grief on his shoulders, the knowledge that he would never have another holiday with his mother, and seeing any pictures would have only made him feel worse on a day he tried so hard to be happy for his own daughter. Keeping a happy face on was easier said than done.

Taking a look at the photo inside the ornament still hurt, but not as badly as it would have a year or so back. Now, there was a soft feeling of fondness mingled with the grief, which never quite went away. He doubted it ever would.

The picture was old, considering his father was in it and holding Steve—who couldn’t be more than one and a half—on his hip with Sarah tucked beside him. Her arms were tight around his waist while he had his own arm wrapped around her shoulders. It looked almost like the camera was set down somewhere and a timer was used, and Steve wondered if that was the case as he gave it another look, preparing to set it on the tree with a barely there smile on his lips.

From the corner of his eye, he watched June got off of the chair, and just like that, she was right by his side trying to get a look at the picture herself. “Is that Grandma?” she asked.

Steve cleared his throat, hoping his voice sounded steady. “Sure is,” he said. “That’s your Grandpa Joe beside her, and there I am with him. ”

“Hey, he looks kind of like you,” June said. “It’s like your twin.”

“Well, he was about my age here, so you might be right on that,” Steve said. “I have a whole album full of pictures somewhere. We can check ‘em all out soon, if you want.”

June nodded, and then Steve set the ornament on the tree, stepping back to take a look at how it was coming along. “Okay,” Steve said. “Go ahead, pick a few more out. Whichever ones you want, and we’ll set them up. We’re just about done.”

They worked on the last of the ornaments, and Steve added a few extra near the top as a finishing touch before doing lifting June up to place the star on the tree. She did it, for the most part, and sure, Steve had to adjust the thing a bit more, but they’d done a pretty good job if he said so himself. They took a few pictures, cleaned up the mess, and by the time they’d finished their fun, it was time for June to get ready for bed.

Steve changed into pajamas while June washed up, then set his usual alarms, and gave the living room a once over. He came to June’s room just as she was crawling into bed and getting under the covers, looking at him almost expectantly. Steve really could let her hair be since it seemed to be in good shape, but he still braided it back. It was part of their routine for now, and Steve wondered how much longer it would last. She was able to keep her hair tame on her own, and she needed a cut soon. It was getting long, which was only leading to more knots, tangles, and June’s complaints of it being too hard to manage.

“June?” Steve asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Uh-huh,” June said. She was lying on her side, looking up at Steve all the while.

Steve searched for the right words, fingers worrying at the flower embroidery of her quilt. “I know  we talked back at Sam’s, and then a little on the plane,” he began. “But I think we still have a few things to discuss. About how things are gonna be from now on.”

June said nothing, still watching Steve intently, so he continued. As gently as he could. He set his hand on her arm over the quilt, leaning a little closer as he tried his best not to worry.

“The thing is, Bucky’s gonna be around a lot soon,” he said. “He’s gonna be here at home with us sometimes, or he’ll be with us when we go out somewhere. I don’t know how often that’ll be since we both work so much, but you’re gonna see a lot more of him, pal. I know it’s new. I know it’s a lot, but just try to think about how much fun the three of us have had together already. Think about all the good stuff. Bucky’s known you basically your whole life. Saw you grow up with how involved we all are with each other. You know, he even came to visit when we lived at the old house? I don’t know if you remember that, but he did.”

The last thing Steve wanted was to upset her, to see her cry again, but she seemed to be…fine. Steady. Her brows only furrowed together as she listened, less with worry and more with curious. “Really?” she asked.

“That’s right,” Steve said. “Came over to say hi after Grandma passed, and I had something to take care of, so he sat with you for a few minutes. Then, when I came back, the two of you were having a great time, playing with your toys and sitting on the floor. It wasn’t like he came over to babysit, but I want you to know that he was always good to you, June. Always. He brought you your favorite food, he tagged along to take you trick-or-treating, he wants us to come over for Christmas, and tell me this, honestly, has he ever said boo to you? Has he ever been mean at all?”

“No,” June said, sitting up with a huff and not quite looking at Steve for a moment. “He’s nice. Really nice.”

“He is,” Steve said, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “He’s a good guy, and you’ll see that the more you get to know him. I can tell you more about him, if you want. Wrack my brain for everything I know. Would that help?”

June nodded. “Think so,” she said. “Yeah.”

Steve briefly wondered where to start, then wondered what June would be interested in hearing about. She was a kid, so keeping things light was for the best. Steve was surprised by how much he knew about Bucky. His likes and dislikes and everything in between. All the little details from over the years and the last couple of months coming together to paint a detailed picture that Steve never wanted to look away from, and one June would hopefully warm up to again soon.

He only let it be once June looked sleepier than before, and he made sure to squeeze her close once he said goodnight. He crept out of the room after shutting her lamp off and then got into his own bed, trying to quell his nerves about the day to come. For once, work wasn’t the thing weighing on his mind. He could take that in his stride, but thinking about the afternoon left his stomach in knots.

What if something went wrong again? What if June didn’t want to connect? If plans for the future were already being set in motion, how would they get around them?

Steve tried to push those thoughts out of his head. The last thing he wanted to do was spiral into worry and not sleep at all. He had to trust in not only himself and Bucky, but in June, too. Maybe if she found out in the way Steve wanted her to, everything would have been different, but there was no changing what had already taken place, and now all he could do was find his way to the best possible result.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he knew it was later than he wanted, and all he could do was hope he woke up on time.

-

Miraculously, he did.

He texted Yelena, telling her to get started and that he’d meet her in a few minutes. He took a quick shower to clear his mind, got some coffee into his system, and ate just enough to take the ibuprofen he desperately needed. A headache was forming behind his eyes, and that was the last thing he needed, It would just rattle his brain even further.

He left June to rest for a while longer, met Yelena in the bakery, and got to work. The birthday cake was picked up. Steve dropped June off at school, and then he gave Yelena a break since there wasn’t much else to do for the later half of the morning. As much as Steve didn’t want to be alone with his worries, he didn’t feel like venting them out just in case they turned out to be for nothing. He resisted the urge to message Bucky, since it wouldn’t be too much longer before they saw each other again. Not much longer at all.

Hopefully, things would go well. They had to. With any luck, they would be able to breathe and see where the rest of the day took them. 

All three of them.

When Yelena returned, it was during a short rush of customers placing orders, and Steve was grateful for the help. Moments like that made him feel relieved for her presence. Steve could focus on the bakes, Yelena could work the register, or their positions could switch. They were a good team, really. They were getting to understand each other, their methods for baking weren’t too different, and it was easier to pin down new menus thanks to Yelena’s skills. Steve couldn’t ask for a better partner.

The time soon came for Steve to pick June up, and he made the familiar trek to her school. The sun was out today, so the cold wasn’t so bad. It was only a matter of time before a blizzard rolled in, at least according to the local news, and Steve wanted to enjoy the calm before the very real storm. Wanted to make sure June stood on top of her schoolwork and remained sharp if there was a chance of getting snowed in.

She ran out to meet him and he caught her in a hug, squeezing her a little tighter than usual. “Hey, there’s my best girl,” Steve said. “How was school?”

June told him everything on their walk back, then asked Steve about some new movie she and her friends heard about, which of course led to her asking if it would be alright if they came over to watch it, to which Steve said yes. Of course he said yes. Sure, he was being more lenient than usual, then that was his business. Steve didn’t consider himself to be strict to begin with, but if he was willing to please a bit more now, he had his reasons.

In the bakery, June sat down with the lunch Steve left in the fridge for her, and he helped her with her homework, trying to subtly guide her toward the answers she was stumped on, dropping just enough hints for her to piece things together. She was a smart kid, always was, and Steve knew that sometimes she just needed a nudge in the right direction before she got right back on track.

With his help, her homework was finished pretty quickly, and Steve gave her a little time to herself, filling out orders while Yelena worked on her pastries in the back. He listened to the scratch of June’s pencil against her notebook as he closed his scheduling book up and hid it away. When the bell on the front door jingled and footsteps filled Steve’s ears, his head almost immediately whipped up, prepared to slip into his persona for customers before he realized it wasn’t a customer at all.

“Oh, hi,” Steve said, feeling himself grin, maybe a little too nervously, when he met Bucky’s eyes. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Bucky echoed, stretching his arms out a little. “I had some time so I figured I’d drop in, say hi to everyone.”

He stepped further inside, wiping his boots on the mat by the door. He didn’t bother taking his hat or his coat off, still sticking near the counter and standing opposite to Steve. He then turned his attention to June, who was watching him intently. “Hey, kiddo,” he said as he gave her a wave. “How was the trip?”

June didn’t seem tense, didn’t seem to be anything but neutral as she waved back, yet Steve was still terrified of the other shoe finally dropping. “It was fun,” June said, messing with her pencil all the while. “A whole lotta fun.”

Bucky nodded and came closer. “Sounded like it,” he said. “Your dad here told me all about it.”

He met Steve’s eyes for just a moment before he turned his attention back to June. It was hard not to watch them in that moment. Damn near impossible to look away thanks to Steve’s nerves. This was what he and Bucky had discussed the day before, wasn’t it? There was no point in waiting any longer to act.

“You know, I gotta tell you, the reason I came over was to see you,” Bucky said. “Is it okay if we talk for a little while? Just the two of us?”

Even with Bucky’s casual, easy cadences, June briefly looked hesitant, eyes flicking over to Steve. Somehow, he understood exactly what she was asking despite her not saying a single word. Can I?

“Go ahead, Junebug,” Steve said, doing his best to sound reassuring. “It’s okay.”

For a moment, Steve thought June wasn’t going to agree to it at all, but a moment later she grabbed her coat off the back of her chair and shrugged it on. Steve came around to pull her hood up, but it was mostly to give her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. He chuckled her gently on the chin, nodding once more, and it was enough for her to relax, if only a little.

He let her go and she walked over to Bucky. “Where are we going?” she asked.

Bucky shrugged. “Just across the street to the diner,” he said. “Everyone’s going on break, so it’ll just be us for a little bit. Got a milkshake with your name on it waiting to be made, and I think I want one myself.”

“You drink milkshakes in December?” June asked, but evidently, her interest was piqued.

“Why not?” Bucky asked with a shrug. “Not like we’re standing out in a snow storm drinking ‘em. You think you’re up for it?”

“Guess so,” June said with a nod. She had lightened up a little, and Steve was relieved for that. He stuck his hands into his pockets and he watched her take Bucky’s hand as he offered it.

“I’ll have her back in a little while, Steve,” Bucky said, looking over at Steve. “We’re right here if you need us. All you gotta do is give me a shout.”

“You got it,” Steve said, smiling. “See you two soon.”

“See you, Dad!” June called out.

Once again, the bell jingled on the door. June stepped out first, and then Bucky lingered in the doorway just long enough to mouth to Steve, “It’ll be fine.”

And then he was gone, turning away before Steve could even think to respond. Bucky took June’s hand once more and they crossed the street before stepping into the diner. Steve released a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding and he sat down in the seat June abandoned, rubbing his hands over his face.

He trusted Bucky to make this work. Hell, if he trusted Bucky with his daughter, how couldn’t he?

All he could do now was wait. Wait for a hint, a sign, anything that could tell him how things went.

“Hey, I might as well take over back there,” Steve called as he walked toward the kitchen, finding Yelena just about finished. “Got another cake order for tomorrow, so I should probably get started on it.”

Yelena eyed him, head tilting with it. “You’re stress baking, aren’t you?” she said.

“Is it that obvious?” Steve asked as he walked toward the fridge, grabbing eggs, butter, and milk just as Yelena was setting flour and sugar on the counter.

“I’m going to go with yes,” Yelena said. “I’m missing a lot of context and piecing everything together, but definitely yes.”

“Well, before I explain, I’ll tell you that I know one thing for sure,” Steve said. “Nat’s gonna be so pissed when she finds out I told you first.”

Yelena got a funny, wicked grin on her lips upon hearing that. “Well, now you have to tell me everything,” she said. “Just so I can rub it in her face.”

Steve laughed despite his inability to stop wondering what exactly was going on across the street, but prepping his recipe and talking to Yelena were better distractions than he expected. “Okay,” he chuckled. “Okay, your wish is my command.”

He got started, not just on talking but on the task at hand, creaming butter and sugar together as he started from the only place he could really consider as the beginning.

“So, one of the first times I ever talked to Bucky was when he came over here,” Steve said. “He looks at me standing at the counter and says hey, ain’t you a little young to be running this place? So I told him, ain’t you a little old to be reading comics? And I guess he thought that was funny. I mean we were kids. I was about June’s age, Bucky was eight. I didn’t have many friends, so whenever he came by, whether it was to ask my mom what time the next delivery would be made or just to come pester me for a little while and ask if I wanted to come with him to the corner since he had some extra money with him. That’s how we got to know each other, but that’s not where it all…” he exhaled slowly.” “It took a hell of a long time for us to get it right.”

Steve remembered that afternoon like it was yesterday. He didn’t know him, not really, save for Sarah always mentioning that George and Winifred had a son around his age, but Steve had been laid up in bed so often in those early years, it felt like he didn’t really get to know anything but his ma, his doctors, and the beds he alternated between at the hospital and at home until he started spending more time in the bakery.

There were so many moving parts to he and Bucky finally getting together, so many things nudging them closer together over the years, and now they were so close to officially starting their lives together that Steve could almost reach out and grasp at it.

Just a little longer, he told himself. Just a little while longer.

Chapter Text

As Steve worked, he only became more antsy. 

Sure, he could focus on the motions that preparing a cake required. That was almost second nature at this point,  but all the while, he couldn’t stop wondering what could possibly be happening at the diner. How June’s talk with Bucky was going and if they were getting anywhere with it. It had been forty-five minutes already, and it was hard not to feel anxious. Buzzing with the need for answers.

He resisted the urge to call and interrupt. He knew that he had to let this happen, whatever it was. Bucky was a good talker to begin with, and he’d always been good with kids. Knowing that, remembering that, made Steve feel a little better. He took a steadying breath and tried not to think too much. After all, Bucky and June were just across the street. If anything had gone sideways, Steve was sure Bucky would have let him know.

Talking to Yelena helped. It helped more than Steve could say, and once he removed the cakes from the oven and left them to cool, there was officially nothing to do but wait. He let Yelena go home early, began taking the necessary measures to close up, and by the time he was finished cleaning, it was time to put the cakes in the freezer. He had to take care of them tomorrow anyway, and there was no harm in waiting in the apartment, was there? At least Steve could sit down somewhere.

He messaged Bucky to let him know, and by the time he had made it back up to the apartment, he was anxious all over again, but some of that was alleviated by Bucky’s reply, which didn’t give any indication of June being upset. All he’d said was that they’d see Steve soon. That was a positive sign. It had to be. Maybe things were working out. Maybe they were having a good time after all.

Steve sat on the couch heavily and tried to breathe out. He just needed a few minutes to get his head together, that was all.

-

Another twenty minutes passed before Steve’s buzzer rang.

He darted upward, looking out the window to find Bucky and June waiting at the door. They looked like they were talking, but of course, Steve couldn’t make out what they were saying. He then rushed let them in, anticipation bubbling up from the core of his chest. He had questions, maybe an overwhelming amount of questions, but Steve couldn’t help that. These were two of the most important people in his life. It mattered too much to simply shrug off.

Steve waited by the door with his arms crossed, able to hear their voices, their footsteps, and in his opinion, noise was better than silence. It at least gave him a hint of what was to come.

He opened the door to find them already reaching the top of the stairs, looking a little windblown but fine enough, and before Steve could open his mouth to say anything, June rushed passed him, huffing out, “Hi, be right back,” so quickly Steve almost missed it. 

Steve wasn’t sure what to think of that. His brows furrowed together as he stepped aside to let Bucky in, shutting the door behind him and walking toward the living room with him. “She okay?” he asked.

Bucky nodded. “She’s good,” he said, and a slow smile spread over his lips, one of complete relief as he took a slow breath out. “We’re all good.”

“We’re good,” Steve repeated. “Meaning…?”

“Just what I said,” Bucky said, the same expression still on his face. “We talked, solved the problem, and that was it. June’s fine. She’s…God, she’s great, Steve, and it went great. Better than I thought it would.”

“What?” Steve burst out, unable to hold his own grin back. “What happened? How did you—Bucky, how did you do it?”

Bucky puffed out something like a laugh. “I guess it just clicked,” he said. “We started talking, somehow we got everything out on the table, and then it was…” he shook his head. “Look, I’m sure June’ll tell you more soon and I’ll tell you more later on, but what I can tell you right now is that I broke through and it looks like we’re gonna be fine. Hard part’s over, Steve. It’s all over.”

Steve’s heart was pounding hard. “Bucky,” he said, almost reverently. “Buck, you’re amazing.”

“As true as that might be,” Bucky teased, but he turned serious a moment later. “That glory goes to her. She’s more protective of you than you think, but I told her that I feel the same way. I let her take the wheel on just about everything. Wanted her to know I was listening, and I think that was the thing that really helped. Once we talked, it was easier for her to just relax, and we did that for a little while just to clear the air. Just so she knew everything was good between us. So, I’ll say it again. Hard part’s over, sweetheart. Nothing else for us to do now but breathe.”

His hands came to either side of Steve’s face as he spoke, and all Steve could do was curl his fingers around Bucky’s wrists, drink the sight of him in. He looked as happy as Steve felt, and that just made Steve even more sure that he’d done the right thing, going after that single opportunity with Bucky.

“You’re amazing,” Steve repeated, and barely had a moment to say anything else before he met Bucky halfway for a kiss that left his head spinning. “I love you. I love you. So much, Buck.”

Steve was barely able to get the words out between each kiss, quick but dripping with such a warmth it left his nerves alight in the best way. “I love you too,” Bucky said, right up against his lips. “Love both of you. Don’t know a luckier guy than me.”

The thought of being wanted, needed, was something Steve had never really been able to fathom. Relationships always felt so confusing, so terrifying, but here he was, with someone who wanted this as badly as he did. He was tempted to pinch himself sometimes, but he knew this was far from a dream, of course. He felt wide awake now. Like he’d been sleepwalking his way through life up until this very moment.

“I don’t know,” Steve said, maybe a little thickly. “I’m feeling pretty lucky right now.”

He couldn’t stop smiling, from holding onto Bucky, who was running his thumbs gently over Steve’s cheekbones. Like he was committing the moment to memory. Steve’s heart may have stopped pounding, but he was no less thrilled. In fact, he felt more at ease than ever. For the first time, everything he’d ever wanted was in his grasp. Peace of mind, his daughter’s happiness, his own, and of course, Bucky, the only man he’d ever loved.

When he heard footsteps rapidly coming down the hall, he stole one more kiss and then finally let go. He still remained close, however. He could do that now. If June knew how things were between he and Bucky, then Steve didn’t have to stress about being near him. If he wanted to hold his hand, to invite Bucky over without it being a secret, then he could. There was nothing to worry about. Not anymore.

“Dad?” June said as she ran forward, stopping in front of Steve. “Dad? Bucky said he wants us to come to his house for Christmas. Can we go?”

“I mean,” Steve said, still finding it impossible to stifle his smile. “I don’t see why not. I think that was the plan to begin with.”

“Just wanted to make sure you were on board with it, squirt,” Bucky said. “And I’m guessing that  you asking about it is a yes?”

June nodded, and when she leaned against Steve’s side, it wasn’t anything like the way she’d clung to him recently. Rather, she seemed to be getting back to herself. Steve could still tell that she was a little shellshocked, like any kid would be with something so new, but she seemed to be doing alright. Better yet, she was doing fine. Steve couldn’t help feeling proud of her, facing something and conquering it and coming out on the other side stronger, and maybe with more knowledge than before.

Steve put his arm around her, rubbing her back for a moment. “Look, I know you two just got back,” he said. “But I’m done for the day, and I wouldn’t mind going out. Maybe getting dinner?”

It was a unspoken plan for celebration, and Steve could already tell Bucky was on the same page. Their silent conversations were getting even easier to understand, and that was something that never failed to amaze Steve.

“I think I’m about done myself,” Bucky said, turning his eyes to June. “Just gotta let everyone know I’m clocking out. What do you want, kid?”

Hell, Steve could eat greasy takeout on the couch for all he cared. As long as things were continuing on the path they were on, as long as they were all together, he didn’t mind. 

“Can we go to Antonio’s?” June asked, looking between Steve and Bucky. “Please?”

“You’re the boss,” Bucky said. “I can work with that.”

“Oh, I see what you’re trying to do,” Steve said, teasing. Something had told him that Bucky would be the type to spoil, that he might be worse than Steve himself.

“What am I doing?” Bucky shot back, flashing Steve a smile. “C’mon, I have the Jeep parked in the back. Might be our last chance to go anywhere before the snow storm rolls in, anyway.”

It wouldn’t be surprising if the storm came earlier than expected, so Steve was more than fine with spending as much time with Bucky as possible before then. They’d all be closed, surely, and June’s school would be no different. Steve made a mental note to fill the kitchen up with more than the basics he’d bought upon arriving home.

“Antonio’s sounds good to me,” Steve said to June, squeezing her close before he let go. “Go ahead, Junebug, get your coat back on.”

June ran right back into her room, and Steve could hear her rummaging around, but he wasn’t going to rush her. This was a big day for her, too, and Steve thought they all deserved a break.

Almost immediately, he felt Bucky’s hand rubbing over his shoulder, moving down to squeeze Steve’s own hand a moment later. “C’mere, you,” he said gently, the warm solidness of his body pressed close to Steve. “Told you it was gonna work out, didn’t I?”

Steve turned to face him, still holding on tight as a smile pulled at his lips once again. “You did,” he said. “And a part of me knew you were right, but I couldn’t have done it without you, Buck.”

Another kiss, this time brushed against Steve’s cheekbone, his temple, while Bucky’s other hand held his cheek for just a few seconds. “Don’t even need to think about doing things without me,” he murmured. “You’ve got me for life, Rogers. Till the end of the line.”

Till the end of the line. Those words coming from Bucky’s lips ignited something deep inside of Steve, something so bright and overwhelming it was akin to staring into the sun. All he wanted to do was stay in this moment for as long as possible, to just relish in this time with Bucky. He felt blissful. So relieved that things were falling into place, and that was how he wanted things to be from now on, which was asking a lot of the universe, but Steve thought he’d worked hard enough and gave enough away to hope for it. He thought he deserved some happiness.

“End of the line,” Steve echoed, resting his forehead against Bucky’s.

They barely had time to sneak another kiss in before June returned, asking if they were ready to go, bundled right back up into her coat with one thing swapped out.

“Hey, look at that, you’ve got your hat on,” Bucky said, reaching over to tug on the pom-pom.

“Yup,” June said. “And my bear’s still in my room.”

Steve hadn’t seen her wear the hat since they came back from Sam’s, nor did he see her glance at the bear on her nightstand, but here she was, showing both off. He took it as yet another good sign.

“I would have bought you the bigger one if there was room in the trunk,” Bucky said. “Next time we’ll stuff try to stuff it in there.”

“What if his face gets all squished?” June asked as they walked out the door.

“It gives him character,” Bucky told her. “Means he’ll be one of a kind.”

They stepped out and braced themselves against the weather. The cold didn’t bother Steve, if he was being honest. Nothing could bother him now. Not the weather, not his job, not any single thing.

Still, the Jeep was a little chilly when they got in thanks to the leather seats, but once Bucky started it up, it wasn’t so bad. He blasted the heat and just like that,  it was far more comfortable than before. Steve eased back into the passenger’s seat, feeling nothing more than a slow wave of happiness washing over him when Bucky reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly.

Bucky’s thumb traced over Steve’s knuckles. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said, grinning. “Better than okay.”

The smile he gave Steve was broad, crinkling around his eyes, and it was hard for Steve to take his eyes off of Bucky at all for a minute. To look ahead and think about where the rest of the day would take them. After all, it was far from over, and he hoped that the bridge they’d crossed meant that there could be more days like this soon, with just the three of them together and in search of nothing else.

-

Steve felt a little less dazed when they arrived at Antonio’s, the noise and the sudden hollowness in his stomach grounding him. He shrugged out of his coat and held it over his arm as Bucky tugged his hat off and turned to face him.

“Should I just get us a whole pie?” Bucky asked. “Half cheese, half pepperoni?”

“That works, yeah,” Steve said, taking June’s hand. “I’ll find us a table.”

Bucky nodded before he got in line. Steve left with June to search for a table, and after a bit of looking, they snagged one by the window and sat down. The sun was already beginning to go down, a cloudy grey dusk falling over the city. Steve stared out the window for a moment, watching a few flurries of snow fall down as June did the same. Looked like it was cold enough for the snow to start, just as expected.

“I wonder if it’s gonna stick,” June said, craning her neck to watch it.

“Well, look how big the flakes are. We might end up with a lot by tomorrow morning,” he said, steeling himself before continuing. “Can I ask you something?”

June met his eyes, only offering a nod as she settled back into her seat. She looked a little windblown. Her hair was messy under her hat and her cheeks were rosy thanks to the cold.

“How’d your talk with Bucky go?” Steve asked. “He told me it went pretty well, and I guess I just wanted to know what you thought, pal.”

June made a face. “Thought about what?” she asked.

Steve felt more than a little surprised. She’d gone from completely distraught to entirely nonchalant. God, he was getting whiplash. “Just how you felt,” Steve said. “About everything. About the talk itself, and about—” he shrugged. “About Buck and I, and where things are going for all of us.”

She briefly said nothing, messing with the string on her hoodie, but then she looked up once more, head tilted as she seemed to stare right through Steve. “I feel good,” she said. “I asked Bucky if he loves you and he said yes, so I guess it’s okay. I just wanted to make sure.”

That caught him by surprise. June had asked him the same question the night she’d found out. “Make sure?” Steve asked. “Of what?”

“Dad,” June said, like Steve was completely missing the point. “Back at Sam’s, you said you’d protect me no matter what, so I wanna protect you, too.”

He felt blindsided. It was so simple in the end, and even Bucky had said it back at the apartment. June was protective of not only the life she and Steve had, but of Steve, too. He knew she worried about them not being close anymore, but it seemed that she was more worried about Steve getting hurt than Steve himself was. It made his chest swell with too many emotions at once, and he tugged her closer, kissing the top of her head.

“Don’t gotta worry about me, Junebug,” Steve said into her hair. “I’m your dad. I should be the one doing the protecting.”

“I know, but I’m not worried anymore,” June said as she leaned into him. “Bucky’s nice. Really nice.”

Steve squeezed her to his side for a moment. “He is,” he said. “He’s a good guy. He cares about you a lot, you know.”

“And he makes really good milkshakes,” June said.

If the laugh Steve puffed out was a little wet, she didn’t notice. “Yeah?” he asked, leaning back to meet her eyes. “What flavor did he make you?”

“Ended up converting her to chocolate, so it looks like you’re outnumbered, Rogers,” Bucky said, returning with three large cups and setting them on the table before sitting down. “What’d I miss?”

Steve shook his head, moving his ankle forward to rest against Bucky’s. “Not much,” he said. “We were just talking.”

“Bucky, do you wanna come back home with us and have a movie night?” June asked.

Bucky turned his gaze to Steve first, and evidently he was as surprised as Steve at June’s change of tune. It was like things were back to the way they were before, but it was even better now because there was nothing June didn’t know. Everything else would come with time and they would tackle whatever it was, but for now, they could simply take things at their own pace.

“I’m always up for a movie,” Bucky answered, taking a sip from his soda. “Your pick. Anything you wanna watch, I’ll watch.”

“Can we, Dad?” June asked. “I’ll go to bed right after, I promise.”

Steve usually tried to keep things early on school nights, but it was unlikely that they’d watch anything that lasted longer than two hours, so he nodded. “You know I love movie nights,” he said. “But I think I’ll need a pinky promise.”

June did just that, linking her pinky with Steve’s for a few seconds before they let go. “You’re the best,” she said.

“She’s not wrong, you know,” Bucky said, smiling.

Steve’s heart ached in the best way, and he pressed his ankle closer to Bucky’s, catching his gaze in the bright, fluorescent lights of the restaurant. It was far from the most glamorous place, but his first date with Bucky was in a smoky pub in Bed-Stuy. As long as they were together, the location didn’t matter.

-

The food was greasy and filling, but that wasn’t really a bad thing if you asked Steve. They ended up skipping out on dessert since they planned on making a stop to the bodega for popcorn and whatever candy each of them wanted. Steve listened to June and Bucky debating over what to watch, and what was the best movie in their opinions, and when Steve chimed in with his own, it just took the discussion to an entirely new level. Especially when Bucky stared at Steve like he’d grown a second head upon hearing he’d only seen five minutes of The Godfather.

With their snacks acquired and Bucky’s Jeep parked, they headed upstairs and began getting ready, and Steve gave June some time to change into something more comfortable, which meant it would be easier for her to get into bed once the movie was over. They set the leftover pizza in the fridge and threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, and as promised, June was in charge of picking the movie. She searched through list after list before finally settling on a Pixar movie Steve had never heard of, which was surprising because he was sure he’d taken June to see just about any movie that came out at one point, but considering she was barely one when the movie came out, he could imagine skipping out on it. Besides, he thought he’d remember a movie about a couple of robot left on a barren Earth.

The lights were shut off when the movie was started, and only the colorful glow of the Christmas tree illuminated the apartment by the time they’d shut the curtains and settled together on the couch, June sandwiched between Steve and Bucky with the bowl of popcorn in her lap. The rest of what they’d bought was spread out on the coffee table, and Steve passed a box of cookie dough bites to June, who immediately dug into it without taking her eyes off of the screen. Sure, the movie may have just gotten started, but it thankfully wasn’t anything like anything else that had come out in the past few years. Steve always had a soft spot for Disney movies, and besides, he had a feeling he could watch anything and be perfectly fine with it right now.

It might have been the most domestic thing he and Bucky had done thus far, and they spent an entire day lazing around the apartment while dinner simmered on the stove. This was different. This was good. Better than good, honestly. It was perfect.

They were hidden away from the cold and sitting close together, and they may have not talked so much save for June asking Steve or Bucky what was happening at the point the movie really began to pick up, but it was nice. Just a few days ago, a part of Steve was terrified that they wouldn’t get to do this for a long, long while but here they were, finally getting to the point Steve had been wanting them to reach.

He settled further into the cushions and let June lean against him when she came closer, tucking her under his arm and setting his eyes back on the screen. It would be so easy to fall asleep considering just how relaxed he felt, but he didn’t want to miss a second of this. He wanted to commit everything to memory. This was the beginning, he thought. This was the moment where his and Bucky’s lives intertwined even further than before. That knowledge made Steve feel so many emotions he couldn’t quite put it into words. He felt warm with it. There was nothing to worry about, and everything suddenly felt within his grasp. Solvable. Something told him he’d be able to see the answers to everything much more clearly now, whether they were a puzzle he had to put together or an idea that was right under his nose.

As long as Steve had those most important to him—Sam, Natasha, Bucky, June, even Yelena—close by he knew that was more than enough. Even with his ma gone, he had a family right in front of him, and the thought of that was comforting. It took all lingering weight from his shoulders, and it was easy to think of nothing at all for a little while. The movie, June beside him, and Bucky’s hand reaching over to brush gently over the back of Steve’s neck was enough to quiet his mind down.

-

By the end of the movie, the bowl of popcorn was empty and Steve doubted June would fight him too badly on getting some sleep since she looked dog-tired to begin with, slouched down on the couch as she stared at the credits rolling over the screen more than she was actually watching them.

“June,” Steve said quietly, coming over to shake her shoulder as gently as he could. “June, why don’t you go get some sleep?”

Slowly, June rose up and got to her feet. “Are you going to bed, too?” she asked around a yawn, as she almost always did. There was always some part of her worried about missing out on anything that could be seen as fun.

“In a little while,” Steve told her. “Once Bucky heads home. You wanna go ahead and say goodnight?”

June hummed as she walked toward Bucky, who was still in the kitchen and leaning up against the counter. “Night, Bucky,” she said. “I had a lot of fun today.”

“Me too, kiddo,” Bucky said, and the smile he gave her made Steve’s heart squeeze all over again. Bucky nodded toward the hallway. “Now get some shut-eye and we’ll try to have some more fun tomorrow, that sound good?”

“That sounds good,” June said, grinning. “See you tomorrow.”

A moment later, they were walking into June’s room. She settled into bed and Steve sat beside her as he often did, smoothing her hair out of her eyes. “I’ll be up for a little while if you need something,” he said before leaning down to press his lips to her temple. “Goodnight, Junebug.”

“G’night,” she said. “Love you.”

“Love you more, pal,” Steve said. “Get some sleep, I’ll be back upstairs before you wake up.”

He clicked her lamp off and moved away slowly, leaving the door almost all the way shut and taking one last look at her as she turned over onto her side before walking away. He was suddenly realizing how much he wanted to change his clothes, to just do nothing at all for a little while. As good as today was, it was tiring, too, and now Steve just wanted to rest.

Bucky was on the couch when he returned, and as Steve moved to sit beside him, Bucky shifted so they could sit more comfortably together, Steve’s legs tucked up on the couch while he leaned into Bucky’s shoulder. His eyes closed as he sighed. “God,” he murmured. “I’m still so…I can’t believe it went this well.”

“Me neither,” Bucky said, turning to meet Steve’s eyes. His arm slid around him, and Steve was just happy to have him this close. Spending time away from him just made him crave more, and here Steve was, wanting to take whatever Bucky was offering him. “June just needed some time, Steve. Needed to feel sure. We both gave that to her, and now look. It’s all working out.”

Steve nodded and reached around to wrap his arm around Bucky’s waist. “You know you were right,” he said. “About her being protective.”

“I know I was right,” Bucky said, a laugh lacing his words before he continued. “She was scoping me out for the first, what, ten minutes we were gone? Felt like I was being interrogated for a second, but that didn’t last long. She’s a good kid, Steve. She was just scared of her world getting turned upside down, but I tried to show her that wasn’t ever gonna happen and she believed me. It was just a good talk, from start to finish. Hell, I even asked her why she was suddenly okay with it, and you know what she said? She said it’s ‘cause she knows I love you now. Guess she was just worried about the worst, but we got past it and we did it together. I figured I would have to try convincing her, but she was the one asking a lot of questions, and I asked her plenty, but I’ll tell you again. The hard part’s over. Nothin’ else for us to do but relax now. Enjoy this.”

The lump in Steve’s throat was refusing to budge, even as he swallowed around it. He tried to stop his chin from trembling, and that was the only fight he won, but Bucky’s gaze still turned raw and briefly worried. “That’s all I want,” Steve managed to say. “God, more than anything.”

“I know, I know, and so do I,” Bucky said, nodding, and Steve let Bucky pull him even closer, eyes falling shut at the feeling of a kiss being pressed to the corner of his mouth, barely having a moment to purse his lips into the kiss Bucky left on his mouth. “All I’ve been wanting is to do right by both of you. I’m all in, baby. I’ve been all in from the beginning.”

Bucky’s expression was a little wobbly, too, but he steadied himself quickly as Steve tried to do the same. “I don’t even know what the beginning is sometimes,” Steve said, chuckling. “But I’m all in, too. For good.”

Bucky hummed thoughtfully. “I think I’d say the beginning was finding a box of eclairs in the back fridge,” he said with a grin. “But that’s just me.”

“I think I can work with that,” Steve said. “I can definitely work with that.”

The next kiss was better. Firmer and buzzing with a warmth that made Steve melt into it. Being this close to Bucky felt good. There was no longer anything to hide. They could simply be, and that was all Steve wanted. Spending the years to come with Bucky and watching June grow together, maybe even having—

Well, there was more than enough time to think about that, wasn’t there?

“Hey,” Steve said when the kiss broke, hand slipped under the hem of Bucky’s sweater to feel the warm skin of his side against his fingertips. “You wanna stay a little while longer?”

“I’ll stay the night if you’ll have me,” Bucky said. “I get all the time I want with you, and I won’t have to wake up at three-thirty in the morning to get ready for work. Getting there by six on the dot every day ain’t as easy as it looks.”

“Well, that’s around the time I go down to the bakery,” Steve said, a small smile pulling at his lips. “So, we can get up together.”

“Long as I get to wake up with you,” Bucky said, reaching up to cup Steve’s jaw. “Nothin’ else I need.”

It felt like ages since Bucky had last stood the night, and while the circumstances were different, it still felt so new. Steve knew that was because of all that had happened, but it felt so incredibly good. His nerves were alight despite how bonelessly calm he was, and a night with Bucky sounded like exactly what they both needed.

Steve gave Bucky the spare toothbrush in the bathroom and after they’d changed, they got into bed and Steve immediately moved closer, resting his chin against Bucky’s chest. “You sure you’re not cold like that?” he asked, referring to Bucky being only in his boxers and his undershirt.

Bucky shook his head. “I run too hot to sleep in anything else,” he said. “Looks like you’re the opposite. I don’t get how you sleep in flannel pants.”

“Opposites attract, Buck, you know how it is,” Steve said. “I’m cold no matter what time of year it is, so it’s either a couple of blankets or the warmest clothes I can find.”

Bucky’s fingers carded through his hair, fingertips pressing lightly against Steve’s scalp. It felt good, just being close. Winding down together. “Well, lucky for you, I’m here to keep you warm,” he said. “You good with having your own personal furnace around?”

Steve moved closer. “Furnace or not, I like you around,” he said. “You know, I just realized I haven’t seen any of your family since you told they we’re together.”

Bucky groaned. “You should be thankful for that,” he said. “They’ll drive you up the wall once they get near you, and don’t think you’ll get away with just coming over for Christmas. They ain’t gonna wait that long, so let me give you two words as a warning: Sunday dinner. It’s gonna come up fast, and they’re gonna stuff you so full of food you’re gonna end up conked out on the couch with my old man.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?” Steve laughed.

“You say that now,” Bucky said. “But let’s just see how you feel in five years.”

“I think I’ll still be happy about it,” Steve insisted. “I’ve known you guys my whole life. It’s not like they’re strangers to me, Buck.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said quietly, almost thoughtfully. “Guess we’re about as familiar as it gets, huh? Feels like I’ve had pretty much everything about you right up here without realizing it.”

“I feel like that, too, and I didn’t realize how much I knew until June asked me about it last night.  “Don’t ask me how I figured out that you hate olives a few years back, but it’s been in my brain forever. Don’t be surprised if she asks you about it ‘cause she can’t stand them.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Bucky joked, fingers still trailing through Steve’s hair. “I’m glad we got things under control. If we waited any longer…”

“Just would have been worse,” Steve sighed, finishing Bucky’s sentence. “But she’s better already, and that’s all I need.”

He shifted to lie on his side, facing Bucky. His arms wound around Steve, tugging him close. It made him feel secure. Peaceful. Here in their cocoon of warm blankets and tangled limbs, nothing could get to either of them.

“It’ll keep getting easier,” Bucky said. “She’s just a kid. She was just scared, that’s all.”

He punctuated it with a kiss pressed against Steve’s lips, as gentle as anything. Steve’s fingers worried at the collar of Bucky’s t-shirt and watched him in the dim light the lamp provided, so he was all made up of shadows, shadows Steve wanted to sketch in smudgy charcoal and strong lines.

“I’m glad you’re staying,” Steve said. “Don’t think I could have went another night without you.”

“You’re not alone on that,” Bucky asked, lips still pressed against Steve’s skin. “You think I like getting limited time with you?”

“You think I do?” Steve said. “It’s just how it is, I guess, but I’m not opposed to you staying over more often.”