Archive of Our Own ^beta

“—don’t have time for that right now! Sasuke’s going to be home in twenty minutes!”

Sasuke looked up, his hands reaching for the buttons of his full-length wool coat.

“I know! I know. Look.” Even from where he was standing at the door, Sasuke could hear the deep sigh. “I just…I really need you right now. Please.” The defeat and desperation in his voice made Sasuke take a step forward, concern for his lover of the past three years making such things as worrying about tracking snow and mud onto the beige carpet trivial by comparison. He froze, however, when he heard the next words out of Naruto’s mouth.

“I know it’s late, but I have to see you! It’s been days since the last time.”

Since…the last time? Last time for what?

Sasuke stood at the door, melting snow starting to drip onto the entryway carpet.

He didn’t hear anything for a couple of minutes, and he wondered what the other person was saying to Naruto. To his Naruto.

“Really? You will?” Sasuke’s fingers ached from the tension in his fists. Naruto sounded so relieved. So happy. “Yeah, I can make it! I’ll just tell him I’m hanging out with Gaara or something. He hates Gaara. He never comes out with us.”

Naruto was planning to lie to him. Had probably lied to him before.

He couldn’t…that was…Naruto loved him. That fact was the center of Sasuke’s universe, the knowledge that Naruto had always been there, would always be there. He wouldn't…he wouldn’t—

“…so impossible. It’s like nothing is ever good enough for him. It’s so fucking frustrating sometimes. That’s why I was so glad to find you.”

His hands were shaking, his coat vibrating from the tremors of his hands as they pressed against his legs.

Sasuke, go out with me.

I don’t care what your parents say! There are things more important in life than doing every damn little thing your parents ask you to do!

I love you! And I know you love me! Let me make you happy, Sasuke…

You are the most important person in my life.

I will always love you…

When we’re old and wrinkled little men and the only erection in the house will be the one in the pornos I make you watch, I will still think you are the grumpiest, meanest person to ever walk the face of the earth! And I will still love you, bastard.

I love you.

Liar.

“I keep thinking about what we did last time, all the things you showed me.” Sasuke closed his eyes as Naruto’s voice deepened and became more difficult to hear – as if he were starting to whisper into the phone. He barely heard the rest of his words, catching only snatches of conversation, the ringing in his ears getting louder and louder. “…want to try…double…blow…finish off…”

Sasuke took a step backwards, knocking into the front door. This couldn’t be happening. It was wrong. Wrong. Naruto would never do this to him.

I will always love you…

“Sasuke? Is that you?” Naruto's head peeked out from their bedroom, his cell to his ear. "Hey, you're home early!" he said, the overly bright tone making Sasuke flinch slightly, although Naruto didn't seem to notice. "I'm just finishing up a quick phone call for work. Give me a sec, and I'll be right out." He flashed a quick smile and stepped back into their room, shutting the door behind him.

It was…really true. Naruto was the world’s worst liar, his wide eyes and parody of a grin making it all too obvious that he was hiding something. Sasuke had always bemoaned his inability to deceive people in the past, especially when he’d wanted to use Naruto to get out of a family gathering or work event. People had quickly realized that it was always better to ask Naruto instead of Sasuke if the two of them could attend something. He was horrible at saying no, and even when he managed it, it was so transparent that he was making up a reason that people would accuse him of it, and he would end up giving in out of guilt. What was so funny was that Naruto couldn’t believe that people caught him at it. Every single time. He thought his acting skills were impeccable.

At least, it had been funny.

Naruto must be really panicked for him to try it out on him now, Sasuke thought detachedly.

He took off his coat, hanging it up in the closet carefully, brushing small droplets of water off its front and smoothing the lapels down. He noticed Naruto’s orange jacket lying in a heap on the floor and paused. Naruto knew that Sasuke would yell at him if he didn’t put his coat away, but he was always so impatient about it that he’d hang it up haphazardly, and more often than not, it would fall to the ground as soon as he closed the closet door. Most of the time, Sasuke would sigh and hang it up again. At least Naruto was trying.

Today, Sasuke stared at the coat and finally turned away, closing the door with a quiet click.

Sasuke was waiting in the living room when Naruto finally came out a few minutes later.

“How was your call?” he asked, nursing a glass of bourbon.

“It was fine,” Naruto said, frowning sympathetically as Sasuke took a drink. “Tough day?” he asked.

“You could say that,” Sasuke said softly, his fingers twitching. He swallowed another mouthful of numbing alcohol, while inside of him, rage began to build.

“Oh. Well, uh, you’re home early,” Naruto said, taking a seat on the couch while he sent a puzzled glance at him.

“You mentioned that already,” Sasuke told him, his words just a little sharper than before.

“Ohhhkay,” Naruto replied, his brows creasing. “Musta been a doozey of a day. Wanna go get something to eat? Or call in? I just got home like two minutes before you, and I didn’t get a chance to start dinner—”

“I thought you didn’t like to take work calls at home,” Sasuke interrupted, swirling the snifter so the ice went round in dizzying circles.

“What? Oh yeah, normally I don’t, but you know, stuff came up, so…”

Lie.

“What kind of stuff?” From the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw the way Naruto looked at him quickly at the slight emphasis, but he didn’t raise his eyes, continuing to watch the way the bourbon clung to the sides of his glass.

“Uh, well, we’re implementing a new sales initiative tomorrow, and I just got some last minute calls about it. No big deal,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looked around the room.

“So you were talking to one of the sales managers?”

“Um, yeah, isn’t that what I just said?” Naruto asked, glancing out the window then back at Sasuke, discomfort written all over his face.

Lie.

“I see. I thought you were talking to Gaara. I was positive I heard his name when I walked in the door.”

“Oh. Uh, right.” Sasuke noticed the way Naruto’s eyes widened as he nervously wondered if that had been all Sasuke had heard. “That’s just ‘cause we were doing the whole, ‘do you have any plans this weekend’ thing, and I mentioned I was going to hang out with Gaara Saturday afternoon for a bit.”

Another lie.

“Really? What are you two doing?” he asked, draining the last of the bourbon and heading over to the mini-bar to get a refill. He couldn’t look at Naruto, couldn’t look at him and keep any semblance of control.

“No-nothing much. You know Gaara. Not big into making plans,” Naruto chuckled awkwardly. “Probably just hang out or something. But what happened with you today? Two drinks before dinner is a bit much for you—”

“I haven’t seen Gaara in a long time. Maybe I’ll come with you. Would you mind?” he asked, keeping his head down as he poured four fingers worth into his snifter, the fine trembling in his hands making him less steady than normal.

“Ah, you know, I would, uh, love for you to, but you and Gaara don’t really get along, so yeah, I think—holy shit, that’s a lot of alcohol! Just how bad was your day?” Naruto started to rise off the couch, but he stopped when Sasuke sat back down in his chair, taking a deep chug from his glass, wanting to drown himself in welcoming amber.

Another fucking lie.

“Sasuke—”

It was the worry in Naruto’s voice that broke him. He didn’t have the right to sound like that. As if he were concerned. As if he cared.

Naruto jumped, bringing up his arms in front of his face and flinching to the side as the heavy glass sailed by his head, ruffling his hair as it passed. “What the fuck, Sasuke?” he yelled, swiping at the alcohol dripping down his skin.

No, not himself. He wouldn’t drown. But Naruto’s lover would.

He wouldn’t let Naruto leave him. Naruto was his, and it didn’t matter what he had to do; he would make sure Naruto realized that fact.

“Who was it?” he hissed, launching himself forward until he was on top of Naruto, one hand grabbing his shirt, the other pushing his chin up so his neck arched back painfully and he was forced to look into Sasuke’s snarling face.

“Wh-what?” Naruto choked out, grabbing at Sasuke’s wrists.

“Who the fuck were you talking to on the phone?” He blocked Naruto’s attempts to dislodge his hands, using all his weight to keep him pinned to the couch as he struggled. “I’ll kill him! You’re mine! Do you understand? You don’t get to leave me!”

He shoved Naruto’s head back further into the couch, his fingers digging into soft flesh, burrowing in, just like he wanted to burrow inside Naruto’s heart until there was only him.

Sasuke could feel Naruto’s body tense even more, as if he were getting ready to try to heave him off, but then Naruto’s eyes widened incredulously, and the resistance went out of his body in a rush, so he lay like a broken doll underneath him.

For a second, Sasuke pulled back at the sudden change, his hands loosening their grip by a fraction. In the next, Naruto had grabbed him in a bear hug and somehow managed to roll them to the side and off, his body landing on and covering Sasuke’s as they fell onto the carpet between the coffee table and the couch, Sasuke’s hands trapped between them.

“Fucking hell, Sasuke! It’s not – damn it, don’t bite! – not what you – oof! – not what you think! Fuck! It’s a present, alright? I’m making you a fucking present!”

The echoes of Naruto’s shout faded away completely, and Sasuke glared up at him, not willing to give in to the hope that flared foolishly or the desperate eagerness to believe him in the face of unbearable proof.

“Just…will you just give me a chance to explain?” Naruto asked, his cheek slightly swollen from where Sasuke had managed to get him with his elbow, the beginnings of finger-shaped bruises starting to form along his jaw. “If you still don’t believe me by the end of it, I’ll let you kick my ass and not even put up a fight, okay?”

“One minute,” he said hoarsely, the wind still knocked out of him. One minute to try to pull the shreds of his life back together again.

And if he couldn’t, then he would make sure Naruto’s life was in just as many tatters as his own.

“You have to um, let go of my shirt,” Naruto said softly. The guilt in his eyes made Sasuke’s fingers tighten further, because what could it mean other than Naruto really was cheating on him?

“It’s not bad! I just…I have to get something, okay? To show you.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything, and Naruto’s gaze got even guiltier. “Okay, how ‘bout you come with me? You can see it for yourself, alright?”

He paused then gave an abrupt nod, and the two of them got up together. Sasuke finally released Naruto’s shirt, but he was a step behind when they went into the bedroom.

“Okay, so…just don’t…don’t laugh.” Naruto said, flushing.

Sasuke stared at him from his position in front of the door, his arms folded across his chest to keep them from reaching out once again. Laughter was the last thing on his mind.

“It’s just…you’re impossible to shop for! Nothing’s ever good enough for you, and you always return everything I buy you, and damn it! I wanted…I wanted to do something special for you this Christmas!” Naruto said defensively, running a hand through his tangled hair. He puffed out a breath and went to his dresser, digging in his sock drawer. Sasuke reluctantly admired his hiding place. That was definitely one place he would never have checked if he’d been looking for something. He knew better than to risk it.

His body tensed even further though as he recalled the words he’d overheard. “…so impossible. It’s like nothing is ever good enough for him.” Maybe…maybe he could start to believe. Maybe.

“Don’t laugh!” Naruto warned again when he finally turned around. “I only just started this, and I’m still getting the hang of it!” He held whatever it was close to his chest. “And, and the person you heard me on the phone with was going to help me make it better! So don’t…don’t go thinking that I was gonna go off and fuck around on you or something!”

Naruto groaned at the expression on his face. “Damn it, Sasuke! How could you—” He threw one arm up, and Sasuke saw a bundle of black. “After three years, how could you even think I would cheat on you anyway? Three years! When I spent almost two years before that chasing after you in the first place!”

Sasuke still didn’t say anything. A minute had come and gone. But he didn’t move from his place at the door.

Naruto’s lips thinned, but then he sighed. “Don’t laugh,” he said one more time, and then revealed the object in his hands.

A moment later, Sasuke turned around and headed out the door.

“Damn it! Sasuke!” Naruto grabbed his arm, yanking him back.

“You expect me to believe that whatever that thing is in your hands is the reason you were lying to me?” he hissed.

“It’s not – not a thing! It’s a hat!”

Silence.

“What?”

“I was…crocheting you a hat,” Naruto mumbled, ducking his head as his cheeks darkened once again.

“That looks nothing like a hat,” Sasuke said harshly.

“I know, I know! It looks like a great big wool condom, but I didn’t know when to stop, and I just kept going round and round and round and—”

He couldn’t help it. He didn’t mean to, but at Naruto’s words, a shocked snicker escaped. He quickly pressed his lips together, but it was too late.

Naruto’s head came up sharply, his eyes wide. But then he started to snicker, too, which made another little sound slip past Sasuke’s lips. Seconds later, they were laughing so hard, they had to support each other to stay standing.

By the time they calmed down, their arms were firmly wrapped around each other.

Sasuke stopped laughing first, but he didn’t move away, pulling Naruto even closer to him until Naruto’s head was in the hollow of his neck, Naruto’s shoulders still occasionally shaking with mirth.

“I would never do that to you,” Naruto said at last, kissing his neck so a shiver ran down his back. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Sasuke swallowed. It was easier to talk with his arms holding Naruto’s solid warmth, with Naruto’s head down so he couldn’t see his vulnerability. “I heard…you said you wanted him to do things.” He couldn’t even say what those things were. Love made him so weak, and Naruto held so much power over him—

“Well, yeah,” Naruto said, his voice muffled in Sasuke’s shoulder. “He taught me how to do a single stitch, but I want to learn how to do a double and triple stitch, too, and then there’s something called a BLO, or back loop only thingy, and I totally forgot how to finish off the stupid thing and switch in new colors, and crocheting is supposed to be easy and relaxing, but I’m having the worst time getting it to—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke whispered, relief making him strangely lightheaded and giddy. “Just shut up.” He tilted Naruto’s head up, kissing him desperately, shuddering as he tried to mold their two bodies together. His Naruto. Only his.

“Ow,” Naruto said pulling back at last. Sasuke flushed, looking away, although he never loosened his hold.

“Did I…your jaw, it looks…I—”

“What? Meh, forget it, bastard. I would’ve done worse if I thought you were cheating on me.” The dark possessiveness in his eyes, more than anything else, made Sasuke relax, made him able to allow a little distance between their bodies. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one then, the only one who loved more than he should. “No, this stupid hook was poking me in my stomach, that’s all.”

Naruto brandished a silver rod briefly before tossing it onto the bed.

“I can’t believe you lied to me so many times over a wool condom.”

“It’s supposed to be a hat! How did you even know I was lying anyway?”

Sasuke arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Che, whatever,” Naruto pouted. “Besides, you’re always telling me I need to lie more. And I was doing it in order to surprise you—”

“I tell you to lie to other people! Not to me!”

“You lie to me all the time!”

“Little white lies, and they’re for your own good!”

“How are they for my own good?” Naruto yelled in exasperation.

“Trust me. You would catch more of them if they weren’t.”

“There are more?”

Sasuke blamed the large quantity of alcohol he’d imbibed for that particular slip up. His tongue wasn’t normally quite that loose.

“Are you planning on ever showing me my wool condom or not?”

“It’s a hat!” Naruto glared, knowing he was being distracted but willing to go along with it. This time. He held up his creation, letting it roll out until all two feet of it was unveiled.

“No one’s head is that long,” Sasuke informed him, eyeing the “hat.” It was far from perfect, with irregular stitching and random large holes in the pattern. He picked up the bottom and rubbed his fingers over the yarn. It was amazingly soft.

“I know that! I told you, I kept thinking I would add different colors and stuff, and I couldn’t remember how to finish it off! Don’t be a smartass!”

“This is my Christmas present?” he asked, just to clarify once more.

“It was Sakura’s idea!” Naruto said, scowling. He let it go so Sasuke was the only one holding it and folded his arms over his chest. “I got you something else, too, but… You always buy yourself something if you like it, and I can never find something you want to keep, and she suggested I make you something this year, okay? I knew it was dumb.”

“Why a hat?” He kept rubbing his fingers over the yarn, tracing the uneven stitches. It was an ugly hat. And he didn’t know that he would ever actually wear it. But…no one had spent this much thought and time on something for him since he was a child.

“Well, you…you already own tons of scarves, and I didn’t want to try to make a sweater my first time. With my luck, it would’ve come out with three arms or something. And I just,” he shrugged. “You needed something to protect your head. It snows a lot,” he finished lamely.

“I see,” he said in a subdued voice.

“Anyway,” Naruto said, clearing his throat, “I’m going to take another lesson this Saturday, and I’ll make you a new hat! One that doesn’t look…like this. I even used Alpaca wool, and that’s supposed to be one of the softest ones out there, even softer than cashmere. And you’ll see! It’ll be lots better! Unless…unless you hate it or—”

“No,” he interrupted, clutching his present protectively. “I like this. I want this one.”

“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better,” Naruto groused, rolling his eyes. “I know what it looks like. But I—”

“I want this one,” Sasuke repeated, louder this time to override his objections. “It’s mine.”

“Sasuke, seriously—”

“It’s. Mine.”

“Woah. Um, okay.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke said stiffly, once he’d gotten his point across.

“You’re welcome,” Naruto said, his mouth twitching. “May you get lots of joy out of your wool condom.”

The look Sasuke sent him said volumes.

“Come on! It’s kinda kinky looking. I never noticed before, but now that you’re holding it all close like that…”

“You are an idiot.”

Naruto laughed, something moving in his eyes that indicated he wasn’t joking as much as he appeared.

“You can’t actually be turned on by this?” Sasuke asked, disbelief tingeing his words. But he made no move to step back when Naruto inched closer.

“By that? No. By you? Always.” The mood was very different than it had been before as they came together this time around. “How could you think I would cheat on you?” Naruto whispered, peppering frantic kisses over his lips, cheeks, neck.

Sasuke didn’t know how to explain as he returned kiss with frenzied kiss. Naruto attracted others to him like moths to a flame. How could he admit that he worried that Naruto would come to his senses one day and move on to someone who was easier to love, who didn’t come with so much baggage, who could give him everything he was looking for? How could he reveal how pathetic he was?

So he didn’t answer. He slung his two foot long hat over his shoulder and reached for Naruto’s belt instead, shuddering as Naruto’s mouth went lower, because Naruto’s touch always burned into his skin – and because he remembered all too easily how desolate the world had become for those minutes he’d thought he was alone.

If Naruto ever left him, he would go a little bit insane. He knew it. So he just had to keep that moment as far away as possible.

“I love you,” Naruto panted as he pushed down Sasuke’s underwear and slacks around his thighs, his movements hampered by his own hips as he thrust into Sasuke’s closed hand. “I’ll always love you.”

“Naruto,” Sasuke gasped, unable to say the words but thinking them with every breath he pulled into his body. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…

He had to lean against the wall when Naruto’s hand closed over him, pumping him with jerky, harsh movements that were almost too rough and that, combined with the teeth scraping his collarbone, made orgasm dangerously close.

That was no longer a problem, however, when his hat fell on their crossed wrists, and a stunned second later, Naruto started to roar with laughter.

“Pro-protection first!” he snickered, his shoulders shaking. Sasuke let go of Naruto in disgust and batted Naruto’s lax hand away from him as well.

“It’s not funny,” he scowled.

“Yes, yes it is!” Naruto grinned, pulling Sasuke to him. “Oh, come on! It’s a wool condom! You know you want to laugh.”

Sasuke shook his head slightly in irritation, but he allowed Naruto to drag him closer.

Naruto’s amusement finally started to subside when their naked lengths bumped together, and his attention was drawn back to the situation at hand. “Sasuke,” he murmured, his face turning serious, and Sasuke leaned forward to kiss him, slower this time, softer, sinking into it gratefully.

He gasped into Naruto’s mouth when something wrapped around him, and he looked down to see his hat surrounding his and Naruto’s erections, Naruto’s hand masturbating them together.

Fuck. He closed his eyes, tugging Naruto’s lips back to his, the feel of hard flesh and soft fabric making him groan into Naruto’s mouth, his hips jerking.

Damn it, Naruto was going to be so smug after this.

Sasuke’s other hand slipped between them to join Naruto’s, his palm rubbing against the tops of their wet cocks, the pleasure jumping. Naruto bit down painfully on Sasuke’s lower lip in response, grunting, his hand spasming, crushing them together, and Sasuke lost it, thrusting through the tight grip, sliding against slippery flesh, the sensitive head hitting his hand. He moaned, his come spraying his palm and dripping back down, drenching his and Naruto’s lengths, his hat, and Naruto’s hand. Seconds later, Naruto’s come made the same journey, and Sasuke shuddered at the feel of the hot fluid bathing his softening penis, his breath hitching as Naruto made a few more leisurely thrusts, milking the orgasm for the both of them, their sighs mingling as they kissed.

He would never let Naruto take this away from him.

Sasuke pressed his hand against Naruto’s back until Naruto let go of the two of them and leaned forward so they were touching from chest to thigh. He took a deep breath, savoring the feel of him, the reality of his body against his own.

Never.

“You will wash my hat before giving it to me on Christmas. Thoroughly.”

Naruto snickered. “Oh yeah. I know.”

A long silence, and then, "You realize how gay this makes you, right?"

"Shut up!"