Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Xiao!”

“Hmm?”

Naturally, he came to Venti’s side as the older male sat at his desk, pointing furiously at the monitor where he was writing the 22nd chapter of his fantastical gay romance novel: Two Tails and A Million Mountains . Venti’s strung-together brows and scrunched nose reflected at him as Xiao focused on where his finger lay.

“'I don’t wish to marry her,’ said Azhdaha to the Geo Archon, ‘I love Dvalin, not her. If who I love and how I wish to love them interferes with your love for me, then I implore you to cease and spare yourself. I can’t live without him, father,’” he recited aloud while Venti nodded his head along waiting for him to finish before oceanic eyes shot over his shoulder, waiting expectantly.

Squinting, Xiao clicked his tongue, taking a moment to think before blinking away his confusion.

“I don’t get it. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?! ” From his tone, Xiao could already tell he was in for it and dodged one of the two half-dyed braids when it nearly whacks him in the face as Venti stood abruptly, whipped his head around, and began pacing the floor. He sighed as he watched the man for a moment, merely holding his chin like some detective who was thinking but had all the answers.

When he’d finally had enough of his pacing he rejoined Xiao next to the desk and simply sat him down in the chair, scooted it in, and pointed precisely thrice at one word: ‘said’. Xiao rolled his eyes as he picked up on the latest of Venti’s critical preferences that had reared its ugly head once again. In Xiao’s opinion, that one word being writer’s kryptonite was a bunch of boar scat. He wasn’t a writer and he couldn’t even begin to understand why it was such a big deal; but, he was sure Venti would tell him anyway.

“‘Said is Dead,’ Xiao! It’s all anyone is talking about-”

“Who is ‘anyone’?”

He grabbed Xiao’s shoulders and clung to him.
“The writers— the readers—!” he insisted before his hold tightened in horror, “The world.”

“I highly doubt this is the talk of the town or that people will stop reading because you said he said what he said-” he suddenly felt Venti’s hands clamp over his lips from behind.

“Hush now, sweet Xiao,” he began to rhyme, “this word, inspiration in need, is starting to make my ears bleed.” His hands then fell away to point at the screen again, coming right back to the matter at hand. 

“This is such a pivotal moment for Azhdaha! Him just saying it isn’t going to add anything to the scene. This is the moment every little gay dreams about. The moment you take all of your hopes and wishes, grasp them firmly, and come out, guns blazing!” He shot his hands up to the sky in a show of explosive wonder.

“Not, that I’d actually know what that feels like,” his matter-of-factness made Xiao frown a bit, but he kept his worries to himself as Venti continued smiling, “But, I imagine it’s gotta be pretty freeing. At least, that’s how I plan on writing it.”

Xiao still didn’t quite get it, but Venti’s passion-filled reasoning always seemed to get to him. With a sigh he turned to the monitor and quickly took the keyboard and mouse by the reins, replacing the eyesore on the page with something more pleasing. He heard Venti scrambling behind him questioningly, but paid him no mind.

Finished, he rested his hands back in his lap, leaning back and letting the chair roll away from the screen for Venti to shove his face up against the monitor impatiently. With how long he sat there staring, Xiao feared he’d made a bad situation worse until he pulled back and turned with that beaming smile that sent butterflies running rampant within him. Before he could stop him, he felt a grateful and dreadfully platonic kiss land on his cheek while Venti's arms wrapped around him and showered him with praise.

“Xiao-ti, you’re a genius! I’m so glad I have you here for this stuff, you’re a lifesaver!”

“I just put down what made sense…” he mumbled, trying to suppress a blush.

“Well, I think ‘declared’ is a perfect use of sense.”

With his arms still wrapped around his shoulders, Venti moved to stand in front of Xiao, tilting his head to look him in his topaz eyes– where, Xiao hoped, his internal panic with how close Venti was wouldn’t shine through. His breath caught treasonously, his hands balled into fists to keep from unconsciously falling to his slim waist, and his jaw set to keep himself from even imagining what soft lips would feel like against his. Thankfully, Venti remained unaware, as he continued his praises.

“Hmm, I think I’m about to declare you the official left-side of my brain-”

“-I think Carmen would have a few choice words if he heard you say that.”

“Well, I think he’d be happy it’s you and not the Dandelion Wine,” he chuckled at the end, trying to be funny. Xiao responded with a laugh of his own, but there was no humor in it.

As if sensing this, Venti unlatched himself from Xiao quickly and began scooting him away, attempting to push him off with a few hip bumps. “Since you’re so worried about him being angry, get up. In a minute, the only thing he’ll be able to hear is the sound of my fingers flying across the keyboard!”

Xiao rolled his eyes, sliding off the seat before Venti could completely throw him overboard. He grabbed a bottle from an 8-ounce pack he’d secretly been spoon-feeding Venti for the past day or so and tossed him one.

“Here.”

“Ooh, thanks,” he said enthusiastically, before taking a sip. Xiao chuckled at the way his face scrunched up just slightly as he gave the water an unimpressed smack of his lips. Still, he drained half the bottle and put it aside.

“Not Dandelion Wine, but I guess it’s fine.”
“It’s water.”
“It’s tasteless.”

Xiao made a quiet note to himself to buy the ‘Splash’ version next time. Hopefully, that grape flavoring would tide the man over and get him to actively hydrate for a change. He could only hope.

Just as promised, Venti’s keys became one of the only sounds in the room, free to continue clicking away with nothing holding him back. Meanwhile, Xiao grabbed a few articles of Venti’s clothes from a box labeled “Venti’s, NOT Carmen’s” and began hanging them in the mostly empty closet, save for his own sparing commodities.

After graduating from Mondstadt University, Xiao sold many unnecessary valuables to cover moving costs. If he hadn’t, his only options would have been to move back in with his father, Zhongli, or ask Ganyu, his sister, if her couch was free until he could save up enough to go out on his own. She was very generous and had offered as much to him in the past. Now that she’d married, he doubted her wife would spare him for ruining their quality time, given how much the two worked. 

Keqing was a reasonable woman, but if he could avoid her wrath, he would.

At the time, he hadn't expected one slip up from him to cause the Dei Twins to meddle in his business, where he previously believed they didn’t belong.

It was an... interesting time; to say the least. He didn’t completely agree with the way they went about it, but it was the thought that counted and their friendship was stronger than ever. He’d trusted them through the entire process and nothing had gone amiss. (Except maybe the delay of his bed’s delivery.)

Carmen and Venti were two of the most financially responsible- err, back up. Carmen was one of the most financially responsible people he’d ever met besides his own family. Venti, less so, but with Carmen’s careful eye he hadn't gotten into too much trouble so far.

If he were to only look at the facts, it would be hard to understand even for himself why he’d been so quick to deny this comfortable livelihood. Here, he didn’t have to worry about paying rent way out of his budget every month, didn’t have to move back with his dad and see Childe’s smug mug around the house, and he got to live with two of his best friends… but upon closer inspection, therein lied the issue that sent him mentally running for the hills.

Looking back over his shoulder at the back of the man’s head, his eyes lingered on messy two-toned braids loose and a cardigan hanging large off one of his shoulders just the same. He sighed one short longing breath before distracting himself with the clothes he hung carefully; only putting those feelings where they’d hang on the breeze.

Back in the earlier days of their friendship, when they were all juniors (the two twins having started college late), Xiao could shrug his feelings off as infatuation with a talented peer. But Carmen had let him know that his staring and allowance of Venti’s clinging wasn’t just some passing fancy or bit of lust; not with ‘that attitude,’ as he’d bluntly put it.

Even evaluating things today, he couldn’t pinpoint what made him fall for the man. The emotions he felt were so scattered and floaty at the time that identifying one moment where the boy failed to amaze was near impossible. But seeing him in his dreams each night and wishing to feel his warm embrace in his bed was far too easy.

Caring, passionate, easygoing, and a parasite were all words he hadn’t suspected he’d use for someone he had a crush on; but that was Venti. Just like a parasite, he’d latched on and infected him, everything becoming clear and hazy all at the same time as that crush seemed to blossom stronger in him everyday. Now, living with him, in the same room no less, felt like a dream.

And… it would have to be enough. For all the nights he went to sleep eager to wake up to Venti’s knock at his door, all the times his passion had embarrassingly taken shape late at night in his palm, and every moment he watched Venti soar and excel at everything he chose to put his all into; every time, he was reminded that there was no room for him. Like a gust of wind, Venti would always blow in whatever direction fancied him, only momentarily held by any other force, before breaking free in a brilliant gust and soaring once more.

So, for now, he remained by Venti’s side, doing what he could for the negligent and sometimes irresponsible man— restraining his feelings behind the guise of friendship for both their sakes, despite Carmen’s efforts. At the concert of Venti’s adventures, Xiao nabbed a front row seat next to that nosey twin and he wouldn’t jeopardize that for the world.

Eventually, they heard a knock on their bedroom door. Xiao was close enough to reach it, but Venti shot up from the desk anyway and lept to the door. “Coming!” he called jubilantly, a soft and melodic tune being hummed shortly before he swung the door open to find Carmen on the other side.

In all of his waiter’s glory, he stood wearing a quaint black button-up shirt that stopped at his elbows and matching pants and apron. His hair, just like Venti's, sported a black and fluffy pixie-cut bob that came down in the front in two braids — minus the same blue-dyed tips that Venti wore. Unlike Venti’s eyes, that rang true and blue as the sea, his took on a colder silver-like color that held blue and purple undertones.

He barely had a chance to offer his usual polite smile before Venti leapt into his arms and he began to panic, already losing his balance. “Carti’s home!”

“V-Ven, wait-!” he let out a yelp as Venti’s weight came crashing into him. Unfortunately, his cry was extinguished quickly as he was subdued and fell back.

Xiao cringed as they disappeared past the door frame except for twin pairs of legs in the entrance that met the studio apartment’s cement floor. He watched as Venti’s legs wrapped around Carmen’s, and then his exasperated sigh and Venti's halfhearted apologies filtered into the space. He peeked his head through the doorway, looking down at them laying in the open floor plan under a too bright kitchen light Carmen must have flicked on earlier.

Venti’s cheeks rubbed circles into the other man’s irked expression while he giggled mischievously into their embrace. Though peeved Carmen may have been, he made no move to escape. Good for him. Years of being attached to Venti had taught him what Xiao had to learn the hard way: Once latched on, only Venti could relieve you of that vice-like grip.

Silver-blue eyes met topaz and Xiao gave an amused wave and apologetic smile, “Welcome back, Carmen.”

“Yeah...” he sighed, with a strain to his voice that Xiao chalked up to Venti’s extra weight, “Hey, Xiao.”

Before they could get much further, Venti was already in Carmen’s face again. “Did you bring anything back? Oh, I hope it’s Northern Apple Stew!”

“Ven, it’s in the name, we don’t sell those-”
“But you could put a word in! I know Xiangling favors you!”
“Ugh, I’ll see what I can do,” he relented quickly, muttering under his breath, “Only because you won't let me hear the end of it if I don’t.”

This caused Venti to burst into another hugging fit that left the two rolling around on the floor while Xiao casually walked back over to continue hanging Venti’s things. He marveled for a moment at one of Venti’s baby pink jackets with tiny wings on the back. He batted away thoughts of pulling the fabric up to sniff and hung it quickly, patting it down to fit just in time for Venti to wrap his arms around his waist. 

He could feel the writer's face pressed up into his spine, his forehead rubbing into him. “Ah, Xiao-ti, what would I do without you~?” He whined, slouching into him so that he took on most of his weight. Xiao wasn’t fragile physically so it was fine, but his heart wavered weakly as red dusted his cheeks.

“Well, for starters,” Carmen piped up, leaning on the door frame, “You’d be hanging up your own clothes instead of having Xiao do it, leaning on a bed instead of his back, or maybe even getting ready for work in the morning without needing to be told? Just a few examples.”

“Oh! That’s where you’re wrong!” Venti chirped. “If I couldn’t lean on Xiao, I’d go right back to you!”

“Gross.” Carmen said, but Xiao could hear his doting tone take away all seriousness. “So, everything else still stands. For shame.”

“It’s not like I asked Xiao to do anything,” he complained, having made a solid point for once, “He’s just good to me like that.” Xiao felt him nudge into his back affectionately and did his best to ignore the smugness he could feel directed at him from Carmen.

“S’that so? I never noticed.” His words ate at Xiao’s poor nerves, but he only shoved his hands in the box, taking Venti down along with him before reaching back for more hangers, refusing to look at him.

“It’s nothing really. I didn’t have anything else better to do. The clutter'd be in the way when the bed arrives and trouble the movers.”

“How thoughtful.” He could hear Carmen’s eyes roll.

Venti piped in, “You’re just jealous because Xiao likes me more.” His weight disappeared from Xiao and the man looked back over his shoulder to find him with his hands on his hip, his lips teasingly pushed forward and up, duck-like. “Bet you wish you had someone to help unpack all of your stuff for you-”

“My things are already unpacked, I can handle my own burdens-”
“Oh? But you didn’t deny that you’re jealous-!”
“-you didn’t even give me a chance-” His arms folded and his feet set as he leaned off the wall, suddenly not as laidback as he’d been.
“Maybe it’s not Xiao you wanted, maybe it’s that friend of yours… what’s his name...?” Venti ‘forgot’ purposefully, beaming under Carmen’s glare, a heat rising to his face that Xiao couldn’t decipher between frustration and embarrassment.

“Ven… ” he warned, uncrossing his arms.

Venti knew what he was doing, getting under that calm exterior Carmen wore. He continued pushing, testing his limits, “What? I’m just saying, if you want Aether so bad-” and before he could finish, a shoe was slid from one of Carmen’s feet and thrown in Venti’s direction, and fast, pushing forward like rumored mountain Lawachurls. But Venti was no sitting target and caught wind of Carmen’s plans, gracefully avoiding that punishment- 

-by ducking behind Xiao.

“Ah-!” Xiao hissed as the shoe collided with his face. The heel connected perfectly with his nose, causing him to throw his head back before it bounced off and fell to the ground. 

Both twins froze in place as his head ducked into both his hands, holding the affected area tenderly, eyes squinted shut in pain as no more sound escaped him. He tried to breathe through the sudden throbbing pain, but was assaulted by the pain of breathing in, and then of scrunching his nose. 

"Ooh… you ok?" Venti asked carefully, his fingertips lightly touching his back, as though he were touching cracked glass, afraid to cause more damage.

Carmen swore, hissing apologetically as he approached, one footfall softer than the other from its guilt. When Xiao finally recovered some, he looked up to find him standing much closer, worry and remorse clear on his face as he hesitantly reached a hand out. Xiao held up a hand automatically to ward off those feelings, but it did little to dissuade him. 

Instead, Carmen took his hand and began leading him to the door. "Come on, let's put some ice on that-"

"I-It’s fine," he cursed himself for stuttering, biting back that painful sting, "It's not that bad. I can handle a bruised nose. I was almost finished with that box anyway-"

"I'll finish it," Venti cleared quickly, grabbing the rim of the box. "I-It’s mine anyway, I can do it myself. Just - uh- take care of yourself." Xiao could see Venti smiling reassuringly, but it didn't meet those dejected eyes that danced away from his prying gaze as he quickly dug inside, shooing them off.

Xiao frowned, but allowed Carmen to lead him out and into the kitchen. There, he was instructed to take a seat on the counter before the other dove into the freezer. He stuffed his hand in the ice maker, but didn't seem satisfied with what he found. He frowned, scanning for something while his fingers tapped the white interior, and then grabbed a flimsy frozen bag of mushrooms and carrots and shut the freezer back.

He pulled Xiao's hand down from his face and pressed the back to his face gently. At first, he flinched at the hurt and cold, but then he allowed the cool plastic on his throbbing and burning skin, while Carmen held him steady with a hand on his shoulder. He gave a sigh of relief as the overwhelming temperature shift ebbed away at the pain, slowly numbing the injury. But Carmen’s face didn't shift from that same worried and guilty expression, even as he focused on treating Xiao.

“I-It’s nothing, really-” he tried. 

He received a scoff in return and a quiet, "Shut up, Xiao..." before they sat again in silence.

Unspoken, he knew the apology was coming. He didn’t want it. A chance to prevent it offered itself when Carmen suddenly fidgeted and looked away, speaking hesitantly. "Don't think too hard about what Venti said... ok?"

For the sake of avoiding that apologetic gaze? Not a chance. "So… you and Aether, huh?" Even from behind the cold compress, he could see the tips of Carmen's ears redden.

"What did I just- Ugh! Whatever." He snatched Xiao's hand up to the compress to hold it himself and folded his arms, nose stuck in the air. "I'll have you know, Aether and I are just friends! He has a lot to deal with right now helping with Lumine's condition, so sometimes I stop over and check on him and make sure they've got dinner for the night. Nothing is going on between us." Though Carmen was trying to keep his tone aggravated and informative, Xiao couldn’t help noticing the sad dip of his last sentence, "He doesn't have time for a relationship anyway." The way his face drops at this makes Xiao bristle.

"Sorry…"

"What are you apologizing for? I told you not to think too hard about it, didn't I? Plenty of fish in the sea and just enough time to snag one." He gave a wink, his playful smile returning under melancholy eyes.

"Thanks for always babysitting my brother, by the way. Maybe one day this ‘old codger,’" he gestured to himself, "can find himself someone to settle down with now that Venti’s not always clinging onto me. Though, I can't say I won't miss people showing their true-colors early on when they find out I have a twin. Seriously, people can be so disgusting. I told you about that one guy who tried seducing Ven while I was in the bathroom, right?"

"The one who accused you both of leading him on because Venti came along at all; that one?" Carmen snapped his finger and finger gunned. Bingo.

"Yup! Like I said, disgusting. I almost stopped dating completely because of that. But not every person is that unbearable, so for their sake, I've stayed on the market."

“How gracious of you.”

He hummed in agreement, ignoring the sarcasm. Then, leaning back against the counter on the opposite side, tapping his single shoe on the floor idly he continued. "Speaking of being 'on the market'," he switched topics quickly with a hushed voice, "when are you going to tell Ven that you like him?"

"Hopefully, never." His answer was swift and his expression, bored. It was always the same conversation with his overly supportive friends.

Carmen, specifically, was the type of friend who'd lock two people in a room together until they came out a couple. Exhibit A: Convincing Xiao to move in with them so he couldn't get away from Venti and vice versa.

"Come on, I gave you two all the privacy in the world! I loitered around my job for an extra hour, took my sweet ass time getting back, and I even knocked before I came in!" He gave an exasperated pout.

"I'm well aware of 'Carmen's: No Knocking Policy’. I'm sorry for the trouble you were put through. I'll make sure there's no need for you to knock again-"

"That's the exact opposite of what I want!” His pout persisted, arms up in frustration. “Look, I'm not asking you two to bump uglies every time I leave the house, but my idiot brother is not going to get that you like him if you don't tell him. He's got his head shoved too far up in Venti-Land to notice the signs."

Xiao could only nod his head in pained agreement. He knew that if Venti couldn’t see that Xiao would jump off Mt. Aozang to stick by him, that he never would. He was counting on it.

Alas, Carmen wasn't finished. "...and that whole thing about you being bi is such a load of crap. Have you ever seen a real pair of breasts?"

"...Only by accident,” he admitted timidly, “but with how much I've mellowed out and my ‘bad-boy’ looks, I'm a ‘perfectly camouflaged homosexual,’ if I do say so myself." He sat the now semi-melted bag on the counter, already feeling better.

A disbelieving snort came from Carmen, and he held his hand out for Xiao to toss him the bag before throwing it in the freezer once more. "Mhm. Sure. I could see that working if you two still lived floors away from each other. But you're going to be sharing a room and apartment for the foreseeable future.

“Eventually, that perfectly built facade of yours is going to be chipped away. Once that happens, I doubt you'll be able to control yourself. You're already treating him like some kind of angel; worshipping the ground he walks on."

Frowning quietly to himself, he gripped the edge of the counter. He'd only briefly considered how much stamina he'd need to survive living with Venti. He hadn’t thought about how long they'd be living together, or passed the present— to a future where eventually Venti would marry, have kids (maybe), and even Xiao himself would be swept up in the current of time. A future where Venti would always be his love; but never know.

Xiao shook his head defiantly, finding his reason again. "For both of our sakes, I hope you’re wrong."

“But am I ever?” the twin asked cheekily.

“No… but you of all people should understand my situation.” He scowled softly at the sour taste the topic left at the edge of his lips. 

He looked to Carmen with somber eyes as the man looked down towards the floor with his own downcast expression. They both understood immediately. A truth they both danced around continuously, as if they could escape it. It didn’t need voicing, but Xiao deliberately did the honors. 

“He’s been stable for some time now, but we both know how he is. His impulsiveness is sure to strike any day now.”

“Yeah… Well- I hope you’re wrong, too,” he said softly, scuffing the kitchen floor with his remaining shoe. After this, he seemed to get lost in thought, staring aimlessly out of the large, cubed picture window.

There was a view of the massive bank, Liyue's fine streets filled with cars, and people crossing at their leisure. They could see the glowing strips of malls lighting the paths as people walked, and some ventured inside to explore what they had to offer. It had its charm, but it wasn't the best view by a long shot; especially with the apartments next to them blocking half of it. No wonder the place was so affordable for the three of them. 

“By the way…” Xiao froze, “I’m really sorry about your nose.” And there it was.

Xiao gave a heavy sigh and shook his head. “It’s- It’s fine. I wasn’t your original target anyway… besides,” his expression remained calm and cool, shifting one leg over the other, "I got some pretty good dirt on you, so let's call it even."

"Pfft, dirt? As if ‘Aether and I’ are dirt. You'll have to get in line. Many have come before you to tease and blackmail me, and those who’ve succeeded you don’t need to know about. Besides, it's nothing compared to the dirt I have on you."

"Do you want to be forgiven or receive your other shoe the same way I did?" Xiao clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Ah! Ok, ok! Jeez, what you lost in height you gained in spite!”

“Same to you, Mr. Five-Foot-Five and a half on his Cinder profile.”

Carmen doubled over, eyes wide just like his smile, “You saw that!?”

“Venti showed me.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Doesn’t this make you two even now? I think I’ve seen all of his baby pictures now, thanks to you.”

He straightened, sticking his finger up like a wiseman prepared to drop knowledge. “Ah, but dear Xiao, unlike me, he doesn’t know about my treasonous acts. Until then, when he’s got a strong defense, he’s dead meat.”

“How cruel. Be nice to him…” Xiao insisted with a soft smile, only receiving a playful huff of ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’ in response.

They finished up their conversation and Xiao pestered him a bit more about his abrupt knocking, comparing it to a burglars,’ which opened him up for the twin’s teasing about him thinking burglars would knock. They must have stirred up quite a ruckus, because the door to the bedroom next to them swung open and Venti came sprinting out with a bundle in his arms.

“Alright you two, quit flirting and look what I found!” The way his eyelashes batted innocently, as if he wasn’t the same Venti who’d gotten a shoe thrown at him, dubiously made Xiao’s heart flutter. He could hardly calm it down long enough to notice the man stop on his other side, dumping the contents of his arms on the counter.

Carmen didn’t move an inch. “Did you finish unpacking anything? A box? Two?” his tone was teasing, but his narrowed gaze dared Venti to ignore him.

Venti sputtered, insulted, insisting he had unpacked at least a box. “-that’s where I found all this!” Xiao tilted his head curiously, seeing a bag of brushes, a few tiny canvases, and a pallet of paints that he had to assume were acrylic by how deep and vibrant they looked. Some canvases were painted over in an array of different designs, while others remained empty, ready for their turn at the end of Venti’s artistic musing. 

“It’s my old artist kit from like... seven Christmases ago!” he explained, picking up one canvas and excitedly offering it to Xiao, who took it gladly- not missing the way their hands brushed together upon acceptance, or the butterflies that flew uncomfortably in his stomach after.

He took a moment to gaze at the art piece: a simple six by six portrait of Carmen- he could tell from the eyes- that was rather impressive for the small workspace. If he'd done the math correctly, Venti had painted this when he was around 18-19 years old. It still had its novice quirks about it, but it was impressive to Xiao whose stick figure drawing skills were (in all of his friend’s and family’s opinion) C-tier at best— satisfactory, but nothing to brag about.

The fantastic style itself made him smile, Venti’s years (maybe months) of sketching practice shining through. The painting itself was full of frustrated lines made to trace over mistakes in the eyes and face, spilling his own artistic emotion into an otherwise standard portrait. Still, that was only noticeable if given the time. Overall, it was a stunning piece.

When he looked up, while Venti was busy talking about the others in his small collection, his smile shifted to a knowing frown as he caught silver irises across the way. Carmen’s arms were folded, and his trying expression spoke to his displeasure. This was how it always started, innocent and subtle. He knew all too well, but the two of them were powerless against Venti’s whims.

Still, there was part of Xiao that was holding out hope that this was a run-of-the-mill nostalgia trip, and that the move had been just as good for Venti as it was for him. There was no need for the crisis, the tears, the wine - No. This was a fresh start. For all of them.

However, Carmen knew nothing of those hopes and dreams. So, when Venti began musing about testing out his color values and how long it’d been since he held a brush, a shoe collided with the cabinet between them, quickly shutting him up and causing them both to look at the male in shock. His eyes were closed and hid anything that may have given him away; save for his now completely shoeless feet.

“Maybe you should focus more on making sure you have everything you need for the present,” the light but stern voice of the twin took both of them off guard, Venti’s musing expression growing contemplative and melancholy. Carmen quickly masked his authoritative tone with a tired smile, “We just got in here and there's no telling what's what. You may not be lacking in the clothing department, but who knows where your resource materials are, or your work binder? If you wake up and can’t find something, you won't have anyone else to blame—”

“—except for Xiao.” They both agreed, Carmen quickly corrected himself while Venti claimed it with pride, his gleeful expression returning.

Meanwhile, Xiao blinked owlishly, wondering how the hell that decision had been made so quickly and concisely. Chuckling at his expression, Venti gladly poked his forehead as if to insert the thought. “Because you helped out with most of my things. So, if I can’t find something, you’ll be the first one I come for.” 

But Xiao was lost, still trying to process those words. The way Venti said them, purposefully or not, was filthy and sent images to his brain that only aided a helpless pink in dusting his cheeks. It was supposed to be a warning, but Venti said it like a promise, and he silently hoped Venti misplaced something tomorrow just to satisfy his growing curiosity with the phrasing. So, lost in his head and Venti’s mischievous smile, he nodded along in agreement to that sudden responsibility.

“Seriously though,” Carmen snatched their attention back, “tomorrow, you’ll have all the time in the world. Between Xiao’s time at the theater and mine at the restaurant, you’ve got time, space, and zero excuses! Please, get unpacked.” Carmen lectured one last time before pushing off the counter and toward the metal stairs that led up to the lounge area that looked onto the rest of the space, where Carmen’s space lay.

“They’ve been kind to me at Wanmin because of the move, but that ends tomorrow.” He draped himself lazily along the railing as he went, like an old man climbing his way to his resting place. “Take a good look, boys, 'cause you won't see big brother Carmen until it’s time to pay bills!” he sighed dramatically.

“-and to eat whatever Xiao makes!” Venti yelled to him, aiding again with an air of teasing.

“-and to eat all the yummy food Xiao makes!” Carmen yelled unabashedly, the noise echoing off the walls of the yet to be filled apartment.

And, with a final salute, he was gone. (Though, they could hear him getting ready for bed above their heads.) 

“So… guess that means I’ve been declared the ‘Live-In Cook,’ huh?” Xiao mused quietly.

Venti nodded eagerly, then turned his nose up. “Yup, you get the great honor of making food for the Dei twins every day for the rest of your miserable life! A high honor indeed!” Venti glorified with his arms folded pompously while Xiao hopped off the counter to bow ceremoniously.

“Understood. Pray tell, what do my Lords want for tomorrow’s supper?”
“Shrimp Dumplings and rice!”
“Barbatos Ratatouille!” a voice called from upstairs.
“Carmen, who asked you!? Go to bed!”
“I’m a vegetarian and I live here, too!”

Venti’s cheeks puffed in frustration, and he wrapped his arms defiantly around Xiao and buried his head in the man’s chest. “You’re gonna make my dumplings, right Xiao? Carmen can pick something up from work-” Xiao’s heart began racing, Venti’s grip like a comforting vice, unwilling to let go and begging that he cooperate.

“I can hear you! Besides, even if I could get food from work, I’m not working ‘till close, so it wouldn’t cover dinner anyway-!”

“Hey!” Xiao called their attention. Silence permeated from upstairs, and Venti's little oceanic eyes peeked up from his slightly bent position. “How about, instead, we have dumplings- half shrimp, half veggie- with rice? Fair?” he hoped, feeling Venti’s grip persist.

Venti gave a soft hum, contemplating the suggestion, then gave a content smile. “Mm... ok. Carmen?”

“Sounds good, thanks, Xiao!” And that was the last they heard from Carmen; for real this time.

Happy to have peace back, Xiao gave a relieved sigh, savoring it with his eyes closed. Then he felt a lone digit brush the bridge of his nose, cool to the touch. “So… how’s your nose?”

“...Better…” he trailed off, leaning gently into Venti’s fingers as they spread across his face. Despite a cardigan, having been typing, and putting away whatever he had in the time he’d been away, his hands were surprisingly cool. Just the right temperature to soothe that now dull ache. He fought the urge to lean further and kiss his cool palm, to warm them by opening his eyes and occupying those pesky lips with a question.

“Do you need help carrying your supplies back?” At this, Venti looked back at the small pile on the counter and gave a light shrug, his hand falling away and giving Xiao some much needed space, controlling the desire to close the gap between them instead.

“It’s not a lot, I don’t think. I should be able to carry it myself…” But he didn’t pick anything up. Instead, he looked out of the window, away from Xiao for a moment. There was a reluctance in his voice that Xiao couldn’t quite place. In lieu of asking, he waited for Venti to say whatever he needed to. If Venti was going through something, he’d always be there for him. All he had to do was open up—

A small, but false, smile came to his lips as he turned back to Xiao- his braids of bright teal and black whipping with his head. All traces of that reluctance he showed vanished in seconds. “You have to go over to the theater at noon, right? We should head to bed,” he announced, giving the younger male who stood silently looking at him no chance to argue as he scooped up all of his belongings to head to the room they shared.

Disappointed, but obedient, Xiao followed the man, trailing behind him protectively as if he could shield Venti from any harm that would seek him out. As if he could find whatever brought that hesitance into his voice and crush it. But he only stood to turn off the kitchen light and close the door behind them while Venti led the way.

Once inside, the prospect of sleep becoming more alluring — it was around 11:00 p.m. afterall — Xiao looked around awkwardly, sure that he’d unpack his pillow and blanket for his night on the floor. The empty corner waited for him coldly next to Venti’s corner that looked warm and welcoming with his bed completely set up; courtesy of the now 'Live-In cook'. The chances of him finding his way there were slim though, as Venti claimed only good writers ran off coffee and back pain, ensuring he’d find him in the cramped computer chair when he woke.

His head shook, foreshadowing his disagreement, but as soon as his eyes landed on his bedding, he got to work setting up his area. Once laid out, and Venti was distracted with his things, he snuck into the ensuite with his clothing and took his shower first.

Teeth brushed, hair and body washed, and any… 'other needs' taken care of, he headed back into the room, toweling off wet hair and tugging down his t-shirt that clung to him from leftover moisture. When he could see again, and looked expectantly towards his corner was... empty? He narrowed his eyes instinctively, and then glanced over to the desk. Illuminated by the bent LED lamp... which he found empty as well.

"You are not sleeping on the floor." Venti's voice came instantly from the bed, already plugging his phone in on the side closest to the wall and patting the space beside him. But Xiao simply stood there, absentmindedly drying his hair and looking around. He could feel his face growing hot as he tried to think of an acceptable excuse.

His eyes wandered over to the only light in the room that'd surely been left on by accident; not that Venti remembered his obscure fears that prevented him from sleeping in most dark spaces. He'd planned to sneakily turn it on while he was sleeping and explain himself later. Now, seeing it on, he wondered vaguely if he should turn it off with a brave face to get his plan back on track. 

Dragging his eyes from the lamp, he opened his mouth to persuade Venti that sleeping next to someone who'd just showered would cause unnecessary conflicts, but was stopped by Venti twirling his finger in one of his braids the way he did when he was nervous or embarrassed. 

"I- uh, left it on for you. I didn’t want you to wake up in the dark again…" he admitted softly, clicking his eyes suspiciously away to his phone. He was only betrayed by the redness of his ears, but it was too late. Xiao's heart had begun to melt, and his excuse boiled to death in his throat.

He sighed and walked over, only looking at the bed, as Venti stared openly while he sat on the edge. He then continued toweling his hair dry, plugging his phone in for the night as well, before shaking his hair out and laying on the pillow, facing away from the other man. 

Knowing the boy was behind him was a challenge, to say the least. Sharing a bed alone for the first time was unhinging, but at least like this sleep would find him eventually-

-and just as he’d reassured himself, he felt two arms snake around his form and a body press up against his back. He felt Venti’s head nestle between his shoulder blades and the connection shot straight through him. He could already feel his will power begin to crumble, and it sent his mind leaping from one possibility to the next; demanding action.

I want to turn around and hug him...

...run my hands through his hair....

...kiss his forehead-

Scratch that. I want to bruise his lips with mine. I want him to remember and crave my touch...

I want him to be begging me to keep going, accepting me. Letting me mark every part of him like he belongs to me. 

His fingers twitched with purpose, so he pinned them under his head, ignoring the shrewder ideas that ran through his head. He had more self-control than even his own mind gave him credit for. He would swallow these feelings. He should focus on just being grateful to have a bed to sleep— to have a friend so willing to share.

He heard the male behind him hum softly, pulling him from his fretting. “Try not to be so stiff…” An impossible request. “Though, I do like my pillows firm,” he giggled, “you should try to relax,” bid the man, scooping his hands up to cup his chest. A very light gesture, but one that panicked Xiao, who lay paranoid of his fast-racing heart. If Venti could feel it, he said nothing.

Distracting himself, Xiao wondered if he should attempt to lull the man to sleep with a song, or if that was necessary. The breathing on his back, though distracting, also told him that Venti was wide awake. “You didn’t want to shower?” he questioned softly, hearing the boy hum, disgruntled.

“...don’t feel like it…” he mumbled, though he showed no signs of drowsiness. Xiao breathed a laugh and commented on how he seemed awake enough for it. Venti just huffed and cuddled closer. “Doesn’t matter… I don’t even stink and I’m not going anywhere…”

“True. Still-”

“Hey, Xiao?” the older interrupted.
“Hm?”
“Will you sing for me tonight?” he asked quietly – cautiously – as if he were afraid to do so; giving the 'OK' that Xiao had been waiting for.

Xiao didn’t understand the other man's apprehension… he doubted he could ever truly deny Venti anything, even if that fact was lost on the man himself. Instead of answering yes or no, he simply began to sing: a slow and wistful melody.  

Lately, he hadn’t needed to. Venti would always write until the wee hours of the morning and exhaustion would compel him to rest his head. It wasn’t Xiao’s favorite thing to do, considering how poorly he sang, but soothing Venti, who always seemed so sure of himself, into a blissful slumber, briefly closed that ever present gap between them and allowed Xiao a moment of calm, too.

Windborne Cecilia
Flower of the Air
Our eyes will lye shut now
No need for despair

Sleep now Cecilia
Your deeds were so bold
Forever they’ll live on
In stories yet tooold

Over the walls of Ol’Mondstadt
Through the land of the Gooorge

Or’ the mountains of Liyue
Fruitions you will there fooorge

Fret not Cecilia
Your victories of Venti

No one will bat a lash
If you rest a century

Yawning Cecilia
If you should dare fall
You may rest in my arms
‘Til Celestia caaalls

Until Ce-lestia caaalls…

Before he’d even finished, he felt Venti’s grip lessen and his breathing even out until he could hear his abrupt and obnoxious snoring. He chuckled calmly to himself before turning over, giving in to temptation and kissing his forehead before closing his eyes and feigning sleep. Sleep would elude him, now that his heart was so full, but he’d try.

Even in that overwhelming peace, he managed to feel disturbed. Dull but prominent warnings nagged the back of his head, telling him this was the calm before a long storm; if the art supplies he saw sitting on the box in the corner instead of away in the closet were anything to go off of.

Each peaceful snore foretold nights where Xiao would sing again, but to chase away tears— Venti’s and then his own. Nights Carmen would be completely unaware of from his second story room.

For now, he’d ignore it. Ignore that, and the aching feeling in his chest that, though Venti was holding him like a lifeline now, amidst everything else he held so dear, there was no room for Xiao to get any closer than this. No matter how painful that existence would prove to be.

Chapter Text

Three months earlier…

“Ok, the lamp sold for a pretty good price… I just need a couple hundred Mora…” he absent-mindedly checked the listings he posted on the online marketplace. Biting his thumb unconsciously as he thought about what needed to go next so he could hit his goal. Maybe that limited edition band-tee would sell... and maybe I don’t really need the TV either-

“Mora for what?”
“Hm?” He blinked rapidly, suddenly pulled from his thoughts to find the twins staring at him from the other side of the table. Carmen looked at him with a curious worry while Venti’s brows perked up- though he was still messing around with his phone in the corner of his eye. It took Xiao a moment to realize he’d been talking out loud.

“Mm… nothing.”

“Nuh-uh, that didn’t sound like ‘nothing’. Did it, Ven?”

“Nope, it sounded like a whole lot of somethin’. If there lies something you wish to hide best to keep others from your side,” he spun off one of his many rhymes, to which Carmen didn’t even bat a lash.

Instead, he reached out to Xiao over the table, only letting his hand fall between them comfortingly. “If something is going on you can tell us. I understand if you want to keep your secrets though. I don’t want to intrude, but just know that we’re here if you need anything.”

Xiao groaned at Carmen’s stare and quickly shook his head. “You’re blowing this out of proportion- it’s nothing , not even a secret-”

Venti pouted and looked up fully, “Then why hold back? Even if it’s ‘nothing,’ we’ll listen. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t come here just to look at my phone. I’ve been looking forward to this. When finals hit, no one’s gonna be able to hang out with me!”

His cheek was immediately pinched between two fingers. Carmen tiredly glared at him for neglecting his own studies and urged him to take it seriously. Even so, Carmen’s stare this time had Xiao pursing his lips. It was as though a thought had suddenly occurred to him and the results had jackpots floating in his pupils.

“Anyway, Ven and I don’t mind you talking about whatever you want. If you’re in a pinch we might even be able to help.”

When he hesitated, Carmen resolutely leaned over the table to whisper in his ear, and like an ancient abyssal mage, he coerced him with one sentence. “If you tell us, you get exclusive access to my Venti album with pictures that extend back to the 7th grade.” He leaned back and Venti looked none-the-wiser.

Clearing his throat he folded his hands on the table, nodding shortly, “I’m trying to get my living situation figured out before graduation. My family is very understanding about post-college struggles and would be more than happy to house me until I figure something out. But, I don’t want to burden them, even if I’m not in the right position to go it alone. But, if I want to live on my own--”

“-you need money. And, a lot of it.” Carmen finished, Xiao nodded.

“So, what I’ve been doing is purging some of my things for extra cash.”

"Your job isn't paying enough?"

"Not necessarily. I guess you could say the decision to move was last-minute…" he glanced away, not sure what else to say.

"Seems like there’s more to this than not just being a burden." Carmen folded his arms on the table, his too perceptive eyes waiting patiently as Xiao began to fidget.

"...my… father has a new boyfriend…"

Carmen's mouth popped open with a silent 'oh…' and his face contorted with his displeasure. "He's that bad, huh?"

"Not really. I don't care for him too much, but he's not a bad guy. My father seems very happy with him and I've only ever heard good things.

"That being said, he doesn't have the cleanest record outside of that. Not to mention, the way he shows his affections so… publicly." He shuddered, remembering making the mistake of going out to dinner with those two and bearing witness to a makeout session they must have started while he was in the bathroom. Dinner was very quiet that night, and Xiao would happily take credit for silencing the redhead with a harsh glare.

He shook his head free of the memory and turned his gaze back to Carmen. "It was either move out on my own or move back, get traumatized, and wish that I had done the former."

"Damn. Well, can't blame you for not wanting to deal with that, but that's pretty rough to handle all alone… What are you thinking of selling next?"

Xiao opened his mouth to speak but Venti shot up from his seat without a word. Both men looked up at him curiously as he scrolled through his phone, not sparing them a glance. "Actually, Carti, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Carmen blinked, looking between Venti and Xiao, thrown. "But, we were just talking-- we said we'd listen, remember?"

Venti scoffed in offense, finally looking up from his phone with a disbelieving roll of his neck. "Yeah, that's why I have to talk to you. Now . Emergency sibling meeting type shit!" He stressed, finally whipping his head to look at Xiao.

There, Xiao received one pointed finger in his face and Venti’s determined voice made him lean back in his chair. “Don’t you sell anything else! You hear me?” He nodded abruptly and his chest tightened as Venti flashed him a smile and ruffled his hair. 

Before he could retaliate or digest just what was happening, Venti dragged Carmen away, barely giving the other 26-year-old a chance to grab his belongings before they disappeared. 

For two weeks.

If he caught sight of them, like mice, they’d scurry away or make up an excuse to leave him in their dust. Even his friends began to notice when Xiao would arrive, Ventiless, and ask where he was and if he was alright. But, he didn’t have an answer for them. He wished he could call Venti at least to get that much. But, instead, Venti rejected each one until finals rolled around and Xiao was slammed with the need to study.

Though when the night grew late and words began making less sense on their pages, his mind would wander back to Venti and his insistence that he keep his belongings. He knew Venti didn’t mean much by it besides concern for his situation, but his determined face was precious and kept him from touching the marketplace again. 

His hands found themselves busy with other things in the meantime. Ideas of how he could twist that expression under his fingers into one of pure satisfaction, or even how that face would look hovering above him while teasing away, and he'd get lost in fantastical ecstasy for just a moment.

Late-nights where he’d pleasure himself by his desk weren’t his proudest moments, but they got him to finals and kept him away from his belongings long enough for him to pass his exams and find some relief in the silence after all of his hard work. He was sure he passed. Afterall, there'd been nothing to distract him from studying but the phantom call of Venti's voice.

That night, he’d been having a rather distracting daydream about the man coming in to sit in his lap to congratulate his hard work through finals week. His libido was just beginning to get the better of him when he heard a persistent ring and vibration from his nightstand and the screen of his phone lit up with said man’s selfie. He’d never picked up so fast in his life, though he felt seen because of previous images in his head he was excited to hear from him again after so long. 

“Venti-?”

“Do you want to come to our room?”

It was abrupt and filled with hesitation. Xiao wanted so badly to ask Venti where he’d been and what he’d been doing, but he flushed them to answer. They could wait until he got there. “...Yeah.”

At the confirmation, Venti’s tune did a 180 and he chirped, “Nice! We’ll be waiting~ And, grab me an apple and something to drink while you’re at it? Thanks!” There was a short light chuckle and then the call ended.

Xiao’s hand fell back to the bed and he stewed with confusion. His need for answers after that brief interaction, after two weeks of radio silence, skyrocketed. After a moment of processing just what he’d been asked to do, he rose in a flurry, grabbed his essentials but remained in his pajamas (a black wife-beater and grey sweats) with his tennis shoes, and headed for the door. Grabbing a little extra on the way before his room was locked up behind him.

----

“Hey- ah!” Venti scrambled briefly as he opened the door to find Xiao there, mouth set in a hard line, squinting judgmentally as he stood there. With the force of those blazing eyes, Venti felt he could be vaporized on the spot. “W-Wait I can explain, please!” He flinched back instinctively, his hands shielding his head under the man’s gaze.

He looked like he expected to be hit, or worse. But, Xiao simply held up a peace offering between the two of them, staring at the man past the ruby-red fruit. Peaking past his hands to see this, Venti’s arms lowered slowly, panicking veering to confusion and amusement. 

“You… you got me an apple?”

“You told me to.” He continued holding it out to him, waiting for him to take it.

“Oo! Does that mean you got-” in his other hand he held up a bottle of water and Venti deflated with a pout. But he took both gratefully, pocketing the water. “Wow, you shouldn’t have…”

It was laced with sarcasm. Rolling the apple in his hands a smile broke over his face as he stared at it. A simple gesture that had Xiao’s arms folding over his chest, fearing that the stubborn organ behind his chest would beat right out. He was determined to hold onto the hurt and confusion he felt after the ghosting but his body couldn’t even pretend to be angry. 

“Silly Xiao, I was obviously kidding. Keep doing things like this for me and Carmen’s gonna think I’m bullying you,” He chuckled through his warning but still raised the apple to his lips and took a bite.

The sound echoed between them as Xiao patiently watched Venti chew, far too long for one bite. But, Xiao would let him be. Past his smug facade, he could see Venti’s delicate fingers shaking, playing with the stem of the apple, his posture shifting from side to side as he stared at the floor, the ceiling, and the wall behind him. Anywhere but at Xiao directly.

It was like he was afraid to stop chewing. Afraid to speak and say the wrong thing. A similar feeling dwelled in the pit of Xiao’s stomach. But, despite any discomfort or apprehension he felt, the opportunity to get answers after two weeks was too close for him to back down now.

“Is Carmen here?” he asked gently, secretly hoping the twin had stepped out for a moment to give him time to corner the man in front of him if necessary.

Venti, regrettably, nodded his head and thumbed over his shoulder. He gulped loudly and cleaned his teeth for a moment before speaking. “Yeah, he’s just getting everything set up-”

“-for what?” He asked too quickly, Venti’s shoulders jerking as he went for another bite, accidently dribbling on his chin.

Thinking briefly he began his dance, “Um… something- very important! Something-er... life-changing!” He smiled knowingly but there were still hints of nervousness in his eyes. “You’ll see.”

Xiao stood, wondering if he gleaned anything from Venti’s vagueness, but instead of pressing further, he stepped forward slowly, trying to figure out what to say. Venti’s eyes still glowed with their same mirth as usual but underneath those eyes were little dark circles. His hair, though still soft looking, seemed moused with a greasiness that could only come from avoiding a good shower. His lips, which his eyes only wandered to, looked chapped, even while dripping with fresh apple juice.

“How have you been, Venti?”

“Good,” his disbelieving face must have caused him to continue because he added, “I-uh, I’ve been busy. Got into writing. I’ll show you sometime,” he smiled cheekily. “I’m gonna be the next Shakespeare, just you wait!”

“Shakespear’s a playwright but, I’m sure if you apply yourself you can do anything.” Venti hummed his appreciation. “With that being said… I’m more concerned that your appearance is because of that and not finals. How do you think you did?”

At the mere mention of finals, Venti began to dance again; whipping around like the wind. “Graduation worthy,” was the most he received as far as an answer, but then Venti asked a billion questions of his own, burying that dialogue to be dug up another time. By the time Carmen called for them, Venti was wrapped around him all over again, like nothing happened, poking his face with his sticky fingers.

“C’mon you two! We don’t have all night!” he whispered, heeding the hour.

Xiao dragged Venti in and the young man closed the door behind them. He was immediately met by Carmen who was wearing a-- very nice suit, hair flattened into a nice professional style, and was even wearing dress gloves, a remote held in hand while an image showed on the wall. When did they get a projector?

“Hey, Xiao. Please, take a seat. Sorry for the wait.” Carmen apologized sincerely, his voice controlled and authoritatively formal.

Xiao sat very quickly, almost feeling like he was back in high school and having a private meeting with a counselor. The only place to sit was the bed and Venti didn’t seem willing to let go now that he’d latched back.

“Ah, I forgot something, hang on…” Carmen turned to look around for whatever it was.

Xiao looked at the projected image and tilted his head in confusion. From what he could tell, he was looking at the paused black screen of a video where the title only read ‘Need something?’ Which gave him more questions than answers. 

“Psst. Xiao!” Venti whispered suddenly, begging his attention. He looked over, but Venti leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Pay close attention to Carmen ok? We’re gonna ask you a super important question after.” His voice was soft and playful, but when he pulled away there was a seriousness to his expression that didn’t leave his watchful eyes.

Xiao simply nodded, but his hand reached up to the ear Venti’d brushed with his lips. He wondered softly to himself if he’d be able to pay attention now that Venti was finally back by his side. Or, if even looking away from him at that moment was worth it.

Unwillingly, his attention was snatched back to Carmen as the man announced he was again ready. “Shall we begin?” His smile made Xiao’s anxiousness about the whole thing lessen slightly and Venti made a show of holding his hand through the whole process.

….

“Let me get this straight… you two have been running from me for two weeks , got a hold of my information- Archons knowns how, and rented an apartment-”
“- I rented the apartment.”
Venti whined next to him still holding a little black box, a key and key code inside; its teal bowed top discarded on the bed. “Don’t be like that, I said I’d pay you back!”
Xiao continued, thumbing over Venti’s hand unconsciously and marveling at the smoothness before quickly retracting his hold, “All because you want me to come live with you… why?”

“Because you need a place to stay and we’re best friends?” Venti stated bluntly. An object similar flew at his head from Carmen’s direction, but he dodged it with ease.

The other twin sighed when his weapon didn’t hit its target and straightened up again, calm and formal like it didn’t happen. “We just thought maybe you wouldn’t mind keeping some of your belongings… or, if you were headed back to Liyue anyway, you wouldn't mind having us along with you-” Xiao readied his response but Carmen was faster and had been watching his face, “-and we’d all be paying living fees together to cut costs of course and there’d be no reason to feel like a burden- don't you dare start that b.s.!” Xiao’s mouth froze and closed with a click of his teeth, though his eyes searched around the room for a new excuse.

“...Even if I were to agree… who’s to say you two would like living with me?”

The two of them paused in his midst, looked at each other, and then without mercy began bawling, laughing at him. He frowned, not seeing what was so funny and not appreciating the mirth or the redness it brought his cheeks. 

"You can't be serious, you're pulling my leg!" Venti guffawed.

He folded his arms, not laughing. But, this only caused Carmen to lean against the wall, struggling for air. "You're one of the most responsible people we know, you've never done a bad thing in your life, and I'm asking you to move in with Venti and you think I'm worried about you bothering me ?!"

At this, Xiao expects Venti to take offense but the man flops on the bed, still laughing at him, making his face hotter. "I thought you were going to say you didn't want to deal with us or something! You're always on your lonewolf shit; I just didn't know this was the reason!" 

Venti sighed up to the ceiling in brief contentment and then leaned up quickly, crawling onto the bed to face Xiao with his knees and hands in the bed.

 "Welp, now that you're done kidding yourself, I want a real answer. No more excuses." He looked at Xiao so earnest and expectantly that his own expression softened and he felt his stubbornness wading. "Do you want to live with us? If you don't want to, you don't have to. We won't drag you along for a ride you didn't sign up for. If it's all the same to you though, we'd like it if you could…"

Sighing he looked around to avoid Venti’s eyes. They shone earnestly and he could feel any more fight he had left in him sink. Across the room, Carmen gave him a gentle knowing smile. He was all out of excuses. 

"...which room is mine?"

Carmen smirked while Venti squealed with delight, tackling him. "I'm glad you asked. Since, there's technically only one room and an upstairs lounge, you'll be taking the room and I'll be taking the upstairs."

"That hardly seems fair for me to have the only room to myself." Xiao frowned at Carmen.

"Who said you were going to be in there by yourself?"

"...what?"

Venti gave a triumphant chuckle and Carmen's grin only grew wider. "I've roomed with Venti since birth. If we're going to live together, too, I at least want my own room." His cold-blue eyes squinted knowingly. "Consider it a favor from one friend to another."

On paper, it sounded fair. But, Xiao knew it wasn't. Carmen knew too much for this to be a mere coincidence. He'd witnessed his one-sided pining first hand. This wasn't just a proposal, it was divine retribution.

"I..uh-I don't know if…" his mind scrambled to catch up with his brain but each time he looked up he met Venti's questioning gaze and falling expression. 

"You… can say no…" Venti hesitated. "I can just-"

"No!" Xiao yelled, too loud for the time of night, and the neighbors thumped the wall in annoyance while his face ripened. "Sorry. I'm- ok with it. Thank you for considering me."

At this, both twins beamed and his key was pressed firmly into his hand, his fingers curled over it’s already warm edges by Venti's own and the box haphazardly chucked over his shoulder. "Good to have you aboard roomie!"

Chapter Text

The next Morning...

Cold.  

The sun against his lashes is what woke Venti up, but that was the first thing he noticed. 

Balling the blanket in his fist and tugging it closer to his chest, his hand searched for the other body in his bed and came up empty. His nose scrunched and he forced one eye open to confirm. Hazily, he recognized Xiao’s checkered blanket, folded neatly back in the corner, and his nightwear filling the once empty laundry basket.

Sighing, he rolled over to wrap himself further in his blanket, missing that warmth too much, and checked his phone. It was nearly 10. Time to get ready for work. The thought of waking to his lonesomeness made his body sluggish and his eyelids heavy once again. It was no use checking for Carmen either, an early bird, eager to catch his worm; no doubt, he was gone.

It only reminded him of soft topaz eyes he’d hoped would greet him when he woke.

“Noon, huh? He could have at least said goodbye…” he pouted before shaking that selfish thought away. There was no obligation. It’d be wrong to assume he even wanted to after having successfully snuck away in the first place. He’d tried to hold on as tight as he could, but alas, heavy sleeping was a curse he bore.

“Alright Venti, you may not be ready for the day, but it cannot always be night,” he encouraged, despite reluctance. One heavy sigh and toss of his sheets later, he swung his legs over, and finally rolled out of bed. 

With a stretch of his arms in the air he caught a whiff of his B.O. and cursed himself for not showering. Dryer sheets had covered it well enough, but he couldn’t escape the dread of dragging himself into the shower. Perhaps today would have to be the day.

Xiao’s prudent ways had only given him enough energy to cover it up. Sometimes, Xiao could be worse than a mother at a sleepover. He’d insist they kept the door open, that they not share sleeping arrangements, and even when it came down to the food they ate, sharing was a no-no.

It was like the universe sent him a sign by not delivering Xiao’s bed. Who was he to ignore a sign straight from Celestia?

After a final, fatal, whiff to his underarms, he stripped off his clothes and padded over to the bathroom. Showering quickly, he noted the time while brushing his teeth and toweling his hair in a rush. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see him today anyway..

Tugging on an oversized t-shirt and some shorts , he stumbled around the room looking for his work binder, sure he’d left it under the desk… or, maybe the closet… had he even unpacked it!?

The sound of his stomach gurgling and growling gritty curses at him halted his search and he patted the beast quiet.. “Eh, it’s not like I’m amiss without it, but, I will be without breakfast,” he giggled to himself before calling off the search. 

New quest: Feed StormTerror!

Prancing through to the kitchen, he remembered how bare the kitchen had been just yesterday. But, surely because he was hungry he’d find something significant this time around. 

To his delight, like a mirage, a couple of bowls wrapped in plastic on the counter greeted him. Xiao, you absolute angel!

Excitedly, he rushed over like they’d disappear if he didn’t hurry. He snatched the yellow post-it beside them upon recognizing scrawled handwriting and signature ‘X’ at the bottom. 

"M’lords

Have a good day at work you two. Enjoy your breakfast, (Considering I didn’t get to eat any of it.)

-X"

Carding the note between his fingers, he peeled the plastic back to reveal delicate Almond Tofu squares with osmanthus syrup poured on top. His eyes widened, delighted and distraught. “His favorite food… and he didn’t even get to eat it!” mournful, he picked up a spoon anyway, his stomach unsympathetic, and scooped the sweetness into his mouth.

The dessert went over smooth and just as light as he remembered from Xiao introducing it to him. And, the osmanthus syrup lingered heavenly on his tongue. He began devouring the bowl before he could even think about saving any for Xiao and by the time he allowed himself to reflect on his gluttony the almond delight was gone.

“Oh…” his spoon cleaned the bottom of the bowl with disappointment, “ well, the least I can do now is let him know it was good.” 

He started on a message, but inspiration struck and he quickly deleted it. 

Instead, he held up the bowl, kissed it, and snapped a picture. 

He sent it off immediately and on cue, his phone buzzed; the bowl nearly falling from his hand at Xiao’s response time.

Good morning. -X

He got rid of the hazard and quickly replied.

Mornin’! Thanx for breakfast <333 Did you eat anything? -V

I’m glad you liked it. -X

… 

So, I’m gonna take that as a no. (Face-Exhaling) -V

… I didn’t have time. -X

Djdjsrjk YOU STILL HAVE TIME! -V

Jean asked me to come in early to work on some things. Besides, we usually have on-set snacks available for cast and crew. -X

Ugh! Fine. Don’t leave w/o eating anymore! I mean it! (Rage-Face) (Japanese-Ogre)
If you die, who’s going to make me food!? (Pleading-Face) -V

I’m sure Carmen would feed you eventually. -X

Carti would watch me starve. (ROFL) -V

(Laughing-Emoji) -X

Anything you want me to make? -V

Your way out of the kitchen? -X

(Blank-Smiley) Deadass? -V

tell him again xiao -C

Carti!? -V

You did text the group chat. -X

btw thanks for breakfast xiao (OK-emoji) 

venti dont touch that kitchen

isnt it time for you to work anyway? -C

He glanced up catching the time. 11:29 a.m.

Shiiiit!! -V

I’ve gotta go, too. I’ll be back around six. -X

yea im still on the clock too -C

Wait! -V

? -X

? -C

Either of you know where my binder is? :P -V

i knew it -C

Under the bed. -X

Thank you Xiaoti!! <333 -V

11:30 a.m. struck before he was ready and he squealed, running his bowl to the sink, scattered footsteps slapping against the smooth concrete as he ran to his station; hardwood holding him firm as he slid under his bed.

His fingers barely brushed the binder when the first call rang fiercely and he had to stumble into his chair, biting back a yelp after stubbing his toe.

Headset placed clumsily on his head, he took a deep breath, then accepted the call.

“Thank you for calling Anemo Corp’s Customer Service Hotline. My name is Venti, how may I assist you today?”

He caught a glimpse of the post-it at the corner of his screen that reminded him to call his editor in a week; his deadline. Glancing at the tucked away document on his screen he cleared his throat, suddenly feeling it tighten.

He’d think about that later. For now, he worked.

“Uh! Sorry, what was that? ...Have you tried turning it on and off again?”

———

Outside the theater, Xiao rolled his eyes.

He remembered clearly how Venti chucked the binder under his bed for ‘safekeeping.’ It was to be expected he’d forget about it completely; out of sight, out of mind. But…

Vent’s selfie lit his screen with an intensity that almost brought the boy there to stand in front of him. His hair was a mess of fluffy wisps atop his head, his braids replaced by long strands that hung down, noticeably damp and kissing his jaw. A hint of osmanthus syrup trickled at the corner of his smile that grazed his bowl. 

What really caught his attention was the hooded gaze that darted through the screen, piercing Xiao’s frontal lobe. Washing over him in waves of blue-green. 

In a fierceness that dared to shine through, he saw Venti’s appreciation.

With his heart beating at an irregular pace, he quickly saved the picture to his already extensive album and favorited it. Maybe he could get Venti to send more under the guise of showing he’d eaten that day, killing two birds with one stone-

“That’s gotta be a boyfriend.”
“Definitely a boyfriend.”
“Isn’t that Venti?”
“Same old, same old.”

Resisting the urge to smash his phone on the ground from embarrassment, Xiao turned swiftly, startling multiple bodies behind him, each leaned in too close for their own good. “And just what are all of you doing? I’m sure Director Jean has something for-” his tongue caught on his gaze, finding Jean behind him as well, waving timid and red-handed. Accompanying her were: Albedo, Sucrose, Kazuha, Fischl, and Timaeus; all of whom Xiao glared at openly while locking his phone from their prying eyes.

Director Jean was one of very few who looked bashfully remorse. However, the way her eyes cut to and from Xiao’s device made it clear her curiosity was still piqued.

“Good morning, Xiao. Apologies for staring, I meant nothing by it,” she said. He was quick to forgive her. He didn't appreciate her curiosity, but he understood it.

Albedo’s deliverance came swiftly. “Why should you be sorry? Anyone who saw the look on his face would have come to see what bewitched him.” He then turned his attention back to Xiao with a smug but friendly smile.

Kazuha took great pleasure in adding on, “A sullen and composed face sheds its skin, revealing a smile that beams — even on a cloudy day with no rays — of love.”

Xiao’s brow twitched at the word love and he pocketed his phone, pacing away and around the small group they’d formed. They calmly followed his harsh steps while entering the theater; Jean must have unlocked it before snooping. He tried to ignore the accusations behind him, but the more the word ‘boyfriend’ circled him the more uneasy he became. 

“We’re just friends .” He stressed, turning back abruptly to put a physical halt to their gossiping. Sucrose knocked right into Albedo, following too close behind him, causing a small burst of apologies before seeing her way to the stage. Fischl also gave a disbelieving huff before following along.

Jean, Albedo, and Kazuha waited expectantly, knowing there had to be more to his claim than that; and Timaeus seemed genuinely taken aback.

“Really? Just friends? But, even your texts seemed pretty… intimate?” The brunet blinked his golden eyes, a confusion in them Xiao loathed to clear up.

Thankfully he wouldn’t have to. Kazuha and Albedo were there to quickly fill him in with their nosey details. Albedo taking the lead.

“Venti spent half of his college experience hanging off of Xiao's hip, you see. Meanwhile, Xiao spent his wrapped around Venti’s finger—”

“And, last time I checked,” Kazuha ceremoniously put his two cents in, “They just started living together. I’d say, with the evidence we've gathered, things are going pretty well for them.”

“Couldn’t you two be the friends who blackmail me for drinks instead of airing my business as your own?” Xiao groaned tiredly.

“You might be able to get Kazu to do that but I think our antics are more enjoyable than any form of inebriation. Unless you’ve had a laborious night of dancing, I’ve never seen your ears so pink. You look as fresh as the trainees.” Albedo continued his teasing.

Before Xiao could grumble that he was only 23, Kazuha chided him with a false offense, “As if I would trade this rare experience for any ordinary spirit—”

“ Enough, " he finally halted them, shifting his focus solely to Jean. "There was something you wanted help with, right, Director?” 

He struggled to ignore Timaeus' whispered questions to both of those Abyss Mages he called friends. Thankfully, Jean tactfully refocused on matters in the theater.

“Actually, there’s been a change of plans regarding your place in the show, and before we did anything, I wanted to know if you’d be ok with it. You may not like it, but would you mind lending an ear anyway?”

Her serious tone quiets the babbling of chuckleheads behind him. Already suspicious, he hummed with a nod, allowing her to explain.

…

More of the theater’s occupants had begun trickling in, making their way backstage, onstage, and into house seats to chat and catch up while they waited for their respective duties.

Meanwhile, they all sat too, Jean’s explanation swift and causing a stir that required a steady mind and body.

She searched his face with determination, “So, what do you say? Can we make this work? If you need more convincing, we can make sure you’re paid duly for ‘playing out of role.’” She waited patiently, eyes insistent but understanding; an enviable balance.

Xiao sure needed both. He broke into a cold sweat twice-over during Jean's explanation, his firmly folded hands mirroring the ease his insides could never. His guts twisting to reject, uncertainty clouding his thoughts.

All the same, his brow raised. “It’s never been about the money for me. But… you want me to… act ?” Speaking slowly he received a nod and immediately his lips dried and pursed under her desperate stare.

“Just for this show? One of our investors paid top mora to have this production of ‘The Fall of Alatus: Rise of Adepti’ put into motion. If we upset them, that’s an upset that’s going to come straight out of the theater’s budget mid-production—”

“Meaning delayed paychecks, if any at all,” Yanfei stated unceremoniously as she walked up, handing Jean a cup of what he could only assume was coffee. She accepted it with a smile that didn’t quite lift or meet her eyes. If anyone knew how the funds were going to pan out, it would be Yanfei, considering she was the Box Office Treasurer.

“Indeed.” Upon affirmation, Xiao heard several people sitting close by suck in their breaths. Chilled by the threat.

Jean persisted, “I’ve been tucking funds away just in case there's need for a payout. I can’t expect everyone to stay and bear the risk with us. I knew it would be nerve-wracking to change the show’s premise, even with months to prepare. But, keeping the lights on is always a struggle, even with this being The Theater of Liyue. 

“That’s part of the reason I took over after the head director left. To get this place back on its feet. One thing I miscalculated was how hard finding someone to play The Lone Yaksha was going to be. I understand it’s a lot to ask, but finding someone with all of your skills on short notice is — to put it bluntly—damn near impossible. I’ll continue searching and holding auditions, but I need some ground to stand on until then—”

He held up a hand, halting her in her tracks, the pressure becoming too great. It just wasn’t adding up. “Wait- wait, I’m confused. What makes you think I’m fit to be footing for the show? I’ve never acted before.”

“Um... I—”

“—Now you know that’s not true!” An accusing Albedo wrapped an arm around his shoulder, while Xiao glared ahead, refusing to acknowledge him. “You helped Kazu and I run lines all the time back in university.”

Kazuha hummed his agreement. “The only things you couldn’t sell me to save your life were those female lines. This part should be a breeze.” The platinum-haired man added, blowing his red bang out of his face in amusement at Xiao’s loud and pointed glare.

“A few practiced lines and fooling around with a script don’t make an actor, much less a lead—”

“—but that’s where we all start!” Jean interrupts, leaning forward in her seat, eyes filled with a certain spark. “An actor is only what they put into it and a script. I know you've played several instruments and you’re an amazing dancer. Those things are both their own form of acting. And, a little birdie told me you can sing.”

Dangerous amber eyes struck Albedo and Kazuha both while Timaeus let out an ‘Eep!’ But, they both lazily raised their hands in self-defense, shaking their heads. His glare softened, having to believe they didn't do it only because they'd have admitted it proudly. 

If not them, then who? 

Jean's lips were sealed with a smile under his questioning eye. “Of course, none of this is set in stone if we can find someone to fill the position. Think of it like preparing for an understudy role. I’m sure everyone will help you out.”

“Especially if they want a job next season.” Yanfei pointed out bluntly. Beyond her, the eyes of opportunity and desperation raked his form and he shivered.

Loud enough for everyone to hear, “I suppose if I need any help I’ll stick to Kazuha and Albedo .” He folded his arms, satisfied with the way many looked away. “As for the part, as long as my being on stage is a last resort... I’ll cooperate.”

Jean sighed, her brows brought down to her smile as though she might cry. She was always keeping it together for the sake of others, Xiao theorized it wasn’t Jean’s preference to be vulnerable in front of those she felt she had to protect. They were very alike in that regard. He averted his gaze slightly just in case.

She managed to pull it together. Just like that, Xiao was the new temporary lead, and practice was set to begin soon.

Though his gut and cheeks churned and hued at the wave of attention he received, he was satisfied knowing he could do his part to keep their workplace, and home, alive.

However, that satisfaction didn’t keep the world from spinning just 2 hours into practice. Standard choreography became daunting and he found himself tripping over his own feet, running into others on the stage, and leaning into a set-piece that quickly faltered under his weight. Much to the grief of the Techs.

The paper machete rock was pronounced dead at 2:29 pm. 

At the same time, Xiao was taken aside by Albedo with Timaeus there to fetch him some water. Even Fischl spared him a pitying glance before stepping back into line for rehearsal.

"I understand bringing in another generation of dancers is hard work. That doesn't mean you have to overdo it and make yourself sick. Slow down." Albedo tried reassuringly while Xiao gulped down his water and let it cool the burning within.

The back of his hand chased the water away. "I know... I have to readjust to working again." He'd only been teaching the new dancers a few basic techniques for their traditional dances, some turns and foot-work, nothing he couldn’t handle. But, his vision grew suddenly hazy, the sound of his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, and the pounding of an onset headache accompanying it.

He felt a little bit better after resting, but his headache and fatigue lingered like the buzzing of stage lights. Still, there was more work to be done and practice was halfway over anyway. What was another couple of hours?

Making up his mind, he stood abruptly and turned to thank Albedo for his concern, so he could return to his squad. Unfortunately, like the blink of a stage light, one moment he was standing, and the next Albedo was nothing but a blurry figure knelt over him. 

He could hear muffled shouting, strings of things including his name that he had no strength to respond to. It all seemed so far away next to the sound of his rapid heartbeat. 

He should have been scared, like the faces of many people he saw hovered above him. Instead, he was just confused. And tired.

Maybe things... would be clearer... once he woke up…

———

"No problem, Sir! We at Anemo Corp. appreciate your call. If there are any further issues with your Anemo device please feel free to call us again, or, schedule time with our Gurus for tech repairs via email or walk-in. ...Yep! Have a lovely day and remember to review our services through our website! Buh-bye now!" he chirped, hitting the end call key after the man said his farewells.

Once the line dropped he pushed his chair back and away from the monitor. He stretched as much as he could, feeling his back and arms pop deliciously before letting out a long sigh. He checked the clock to find he still had another hour of work to do, but with luck, he wouldn't get another call for a good 5-minutes. 

"Ughh! Nothing would hit the spot better right now than some wine! I wonder... if we have any…" he twiddled his thumbs. The pros and cons, though he tried considering them, drifted in one ear and out the other. The hunger for that sweet and hazy feeling lifted him from his seat and landed him in the kitchen.

He searched a couple of cabinets and in the fridge, but it seemed like, with all the shopping Xiao did, the wine hadn’t been on the list. Then, he opened a cabinet (which he had to climb the counter to reach) to find two things. 

One, a decently sized bottle of wine with a note on it and a small case of water in front of it. Oddly, the little bottles had grape designs on them, piquing his interest for a measly second before he was grabbing the wine-bottle and the note attached to it. Same, handwriting.

"TO: Venti

Do not drink. This is for the housewarming party."

Pouting, he placed the bottle back behind the waters and grabbed one of those instead. Reluctantly he slid back to the floor and popped the top, taking the tiniest sip. He smacked his lips together a couple of times before his eyes squinted and he took a more generous sip.

Eyes widening in child-like wonder he let the vineyard wash across his tongue in a new and refreshing way. It lacked the thick texture of alcohol or juice, but that shocking and sweet taste was its own delightful treat. However, it defeated the purpose of reaching for the bottle in the first place as it energized his body even though he wanted nothing more than to relax. Still, "I wonder when that party’s going to be…"

In the middle of his query, ringing sounded from the other room and the reminder of work made him groan and trudge his way back. However, when he arrived, instead, his phone lit up with a number he hadn't seen in a while.

He scrambled to pick up before the call dropped and felt a smile light his face. 

"Jean! Long time no talk, how is everything?"

"Ah, I wish I could come bearing better news. It's about Xiao." 

Venti's breath paused and he clutched the phone to his face suddenly with both hands, sitting down on the bed. 

"W-what's wrong with Xiao?”

“We don’t really know. I think-”     

“Is he ok?”

“I’d like to say-”

“Can I come get him?" 

He cursed himself for interrupting her again, but he couldn’t help it. Still, she took an understanding breath and replied softly, "We don't quite know what's wrong with him. Everything was going well until he fell into a prop. I was shocked to hear he’d fainted off stage but Albedo was there to handle most of it. We can’t be certain what’s wrong but we think it may be due to stress."

He was already on his feet again, looking up the address on his phone and grabbing his coat. "Ok, ok! Um... is he conscious?"

"He's semi-lucid. He told us not to call an ambulance, but he's very out of it and it's taking everything to keep him from getting up again."

"Ok, I'm on my way, it's this address right?"

"Oh! No, no! You don't have to come all the way down here. That's part of why I called. I need your address. With all due respect, I don’t want you two going back and forth by bus while Xiao is in this condition.”

He paused awkwardly, not having thought that far into things. “Oh… Yeah. You just wanna bring him home, then?” 

“Yes. I was also hoping that maybe since he's been calling for you he'd want to talk to you and you could convince him to come quietly. I hope you’re not on your way out already, my apologies."

He latched the door he’d swung open back and stepped away. "Nope, not at all, still comfy in my socks- ehe!" He could still hear his voice shaking but he changed the subject.

Spewing his address he listened to her repeat it softly to herself before thanking him. "I'll go ahead and call Xiao now. If you think he can pick up his phone?"

"Yes, he should be able to. Or, at least, I'm sure Kazuha will be able to pick it up for him. Many thanks, Venti."

"Aw, you know it's no problem. Besides, what else are roomies for?" He smiled to himself. Xiao always took good care of him. This was the least he could do.

A noise of discontent told him she didn't completely agree. But, he quickly hung up and hit his speed dial for Xiao, and waited. 

Ring… Ring… Ring… he squinted, longing impatiently to hear Xiao's voice confirm he was alright. It forced him to pace a small circle by the door, ready to leap out again. When it finally picked up he was practically gasping, "Xiao-!? Xiao, is that you? Can you hear me?"

"Not quite, I’ve got him though. But, we need to get him in the car," a familiar voice urged.

“Kazuha!” He suddenly put the two together. “I’ll do what I can. He’s not loopy is he?”

“Mm… not exactly but… uh, you’ll see. Here you go. 

Some interference and the mic rubbing against something grated his ears, making his teeth clench slightly. Through that, he listened closely for Xiao’s voice until he heard what sounded like labored breathing. “Xiao?”

“...Venti?” it was faint and raspy. He cleared his throat right after.

“Yeah! How are you feeling?” It was obvious, he knew, but keeping the man talking and making him feel comfortable was one of the only ways he could gauge how bad it was.

Instead of answering Xiao weakly moaned his name again. His eyes softened as he backed into the couch, taking a seat. “It’s ok Xiao, I’m here. Are you ok?”

“I’m better now.” Suddenly, he was clear as a whistle. No signs of life threatening illness.

It took Venti a second to respond, taken aback, “Oh? You do sound better. Were you trying to play hooky? I never pegged you as the type.” He chuckled, tension easing off his shoulders as he shrugged off his coat.

“That doesn’t make any sense-”

“Hm? But, you’ve always been a goodie-two-shoes about your schedule? I think it makes perfect sense-”

“-you’ve never pegged me,” was announced so calmly through the speaker that the gears in Venti’s head stuttered to a halt. Suddenly, he was choking; saliva betrayed and sent him into a hacking fit.

The other end gave a moment of pause before other voices could be heard, bursting with laughter.

“hahAHA! Are you fucking serious?!”

“I have to admit,” Kazuha’s struggled to keep down his amusement, “It’s rather shameless to talk about pegging a sick person.”

Venti protested his teasing through a few more coughs, “T-That’s not-”

“It is pretty bold. I don’t mind it though.” Xiao agreed, making Venti sputter with the beginnings of denial. “It could have been worse. This is the same Venti who tackled me in front of the drama department, afterall.”

But, to have a light shone on it next to pegging — pegging he never mentioned — was too much! Especially coming for Xiao! Whether it was from illness or the fall, something messed with him.

“ Anyway ,” he urged, feeling his cheeks puff and heat rise to the tips of his ears. “Don’t you think you should call it a day and come back?”

“Mmm, I can’t. Everyone’s counting on me. If I go home now, they’ll think I can’t be the lead anymore and cause Jean problems…” he sulked low into the phone. “They’re gonna make me act, Venti. I don’t wanna do it…”

The way his words slurred both worried and made him ‘aww’ in adoration. Xiao's sudden expressiveness was like watching an ancient Lawachurl pick daisies for Windblume. Strange, but delightful.

There were bits of context he was missing, but he could decipher that Xiao was unexpectedly forced to play the lead. Something Venti would be sure to let him know how excited he was about later on. 

“Aww, poor Xiaoti. It’s really great that people understand your capabilities though. I’m sure they’d understand that you want to be at your best for them. Right? Think about it. If you stay and stumble your way around for another hour, is that going to boost their morale?”

He heard a reluctant ‘no...’ and smiled. “Right. So, get in the car and I’ll be waiting here for you. I’ll take good care of you, and you’ll be back on your feet by tomorrow. I promise.”

The younger man grumbled stubbornly but agreed. Venti could hear a small exchange on the other end but the words were lost. Hopefully, it had something to do with getting his ride in order.

When he heard a car door shut, he dared to ask with a satisfied grin, “Since you’re on your way, is there anything you want for…” a quick glance at the clock, “Linner- that I’ll be ordering?”

“Oh!” the other end gasped suddenly, laced with shame. “That’s what I forgot.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“I didn’t eat anything.”

“XIAO!” He could only imagine the distance put between the phone and him, hearing Xiao groan sharply on the other end. “No wonder you passed out, you’ve been running on empty! You didn’t even eat last night either, what were you thinking?!”

“Sorry.”

Venti sighed. “Just- tell me what you want to eat.”

“... Almond Tofu.”

Venti took a deep, deep , breath. Fighting the urge to insist that that wasn’t food. Ah, but then he’d have to explain why he argued the same point when wine could be found in his water bottle. 

“We’re going to have to talk when you get here. Like, a serious talk.”

“Ok… I’m on my way home.” Even through the obvious bashfulness, Venti could hear a faint warmth drift off of Xiao. He sat in it for a moment, suddenly feeling naked through the receiver as he kicked off his shoes onto their rug, leaned against their couch, and ignored the buzzing of incoming calls coming from their room. 

An unmistakable joy floated up within him, each element settling in cozily like a warm blanket. He didn’t know if it was the same thing Xiao felt, but for him this feeling also came from the unfamiliar but comforting feeling of ‘home.’

“Yeah… come home quickly.”

They both hung up and Venti sat for a moment before looking up a place with good Almond Tofu. 

Five-star Kitchen O'Smiley caught his eye; seeing dumplings just the way Xiao planned to make. He made sure to order those too. Once that was done he sat in the silence around him, glancing to the room he ran from earlier. The calls had stopped and the work day was over.

A sigh escaped him, knowing he’d suffer the consequences later. 

For now, he thought of how to pass the time while waiting. Perhaps, by texting Carmen and telling him what happened… or, putting in another chapter for his novel? Lisa’d be expecting it soon anyway.

A good idea. But, still he trudged back to his room, reluctant to actually sit down and do the work. 

While many writers complained about the process of a novel from beginning to middle and finally getting to write the end, Venti found that writing the story itself was much more appealing than figuring out how to end it. Why rush to an end when all stories worth reading were about the journey?

Readers would never get that, though. They search, without knowing, for an end, no matter how much it hurts. So he’d just have to suck it up. 

Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to do it alone. Xiao would help him, like he always did. And, if that didn’t work Lisa would beat him into a pulp until it was finished.

Still, entering the room, he found himself pausing in front of a box, topped generously with his old art supplies. Paints, brushes, pencils, and canvases tickled his eyes. Without thinking about it too much, he picked up a pencil from the pile and twirled it in his fingers, a blank canvas suddenly inspiring pictures in his mind; ones he wished to see but feared even dreaming about. Feelings he’d rather bury into cotton with a lead shovel, etching them out to savor but not to keep with him.

But, could anyone take from him what he created with his own hands? Big or small, possible or impossible, his imagination was his playground. Art was simply a medium into reality, even if it would never hold a candle to the real thing.

The crisp texture of the canvas gave him nostalgic goosebumps as he envisioned colors aplenty dotting his fingers and streaking across it. Before he knew it, he was lost in a series of images that he quickly sketched onto one canvas. Then another. And another.

It wasn’t until he heard his phone ringing again with Xiao’s ringtone, probably forgetting the elevator code, that his pencil stopped. He looked at the product in his hand, lines beautifully placed and real. Relief and freedom were thick in his lungs anew. He swore under his breath and stacked the canvases on top of each other and threw them up and away into the closet.

He slammed the double doors shut and felt his hands shaking and tears threatening to climb their way up. He wiped his eyes thoroughly before they had their chance and took a deep breath. “C’mon, Venti,” he pleaded with himself, “Take care of someone else for a change…”

He gave himself two pats on his cheeks and took another cleansing breath. A smile prepped on his face before bounding out of the room to retrieve his sick friend. 

His best friend.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4. Subtle Melodies in the Dark

Xiao blinked blindly, lulled to the surface of consciousness by a soft melody and light that trickled through his lashes. A mournful humming, like walking past graves in a cemetery, standing at the edge of a cliff to stare into the abyss or having a playground to yourself on a rainy day. Beautiful and lonely.

The melody trailed seductively along his ears and tempted him to rest longer. However, that ebbing loneliness called him to wake and find the source. So, his lids continued roaming.

The intrusive light turned out to be the TV, quietly playing before him; its images at a tilt as he laid on his side. Otherwise, the room was dark. Thankfully, those creeping shadows didn't gnaw at him as he often feared. 

Still, he began to rise with urgency, feeling fingers glide through his hair and along his scalp.

“Shh… relax.” His head sank at the words, melting back into Venti’s lap with ease. The melody ceased, but the man's words alone calmed him; a graceful tune without end. “I’ve got you.”

“Venti..?” he knew and croaked it anyway as if just saying his name would dampen his dry mouth and throat.

The man in question reached for a glass on the table and urged him up, but he declined, insisting on remaining pressed to his thigh. He’d happily choke to stay cradled forever in his warmth if he could. 

The feeling of illness had cleared out, but not without leaving behind the urge to be adolescently clingy. A fleeting need he latched onto gladly while his mind would allow it.

Venti sighed and the water was placed back, while gentle hands returned to his head. “Nope. I'm definitely Albedo,” came his teasing tone.

A breath of a chuckle left his nose as he closed his eyes back. “ Oh , Albedo, what a soft voice you have." 

A playful giggle chimed above him and those fingers continued along his scalp. “The better to sing to you, my dear,” he sing-songed on cue.

Xiao knew it was all in good fun. It didn’t mean anything. But, ‘my dear,’ fanned the genial embers within and his heart fluttered anyway.

“...what thin fingers you have, Albedo…” he tested hopefully.

“The better to run through your hair, my dear.” A smile played in his voice and his words rolled off the tongue like sweet cider.

Xiao cursed himself for not recording this, knowing his memory would not do Venti’s loving drawl justice.

His lips parted once more, brain searching for the next ‘my dear,’ like a drug. His thoughts were still muddled by drowsiness, but he had more admiration to declare before his senses caught up with him. But, stuttering helplessly, he fumbled the crack pipe. 

“A-Albedo… um— what… poor taste in media you have—” 

Before he could register why, he was flying to the floor, rolling swiftly from Venti’s lap. He winced, shoulder breaking his fall before he turned on his back to face the ceiling.

His eyes squinted sorely towards Venti’s devilish sea-green irises, illuminated by the TV, as he stared down at him through spread legs. Reveling in his new, towering, position.

“The better to relate to you,” his arms folded with a huff and a grin. “ Jackass .” 

Cheeks rosy and warm with mirth, his titillating laughter filled the air. The ceiling mocking him as well while Xiao avoided his picturesque face and urged his heart to slow.

Archons.

In the past, his father had suggested therapy, saying it would do him some good. Never had Xiao agreed he truly needed it up until this point. Who knew ‘my dear’ could be such damning kryptonite, only to be replaced with a loving insult? He was convinced Venti could call him a million vulgar things with that same affection and he’d go along with it; helplessly smitten.

A pale hand appeared to help him up and he took it. Desperately ignoring their softness and strength while being hoisted up effortlessly. Instead of letting his mind wander, he focused on more pressing matters.

“How long have I been out?”

“A thousand years.”

Amber blinked slowly, betrayed by the upturn of his lips. “Cut it out.”

“Ok, ok ~” He hummed, thinking. “Hm... Maybe an hour? The sun only went down a bit ago.”

Fluttering lashes blinked back confusion, retracing his steps in vague pictures behind them. Two hours into practice… 2 p.m… the sun sets at...

“That… doesn’t make any sense.”

“Why not?”

Glancing back at the coffee table he saw open to-go boxes, two sets of used chopsticks, and empty glasses.

Though the evidence was clear, eating, entering, even arriving home didn't ring a bell. If he thought hard enough he could remember a phone call, but even that felt like it could have been weeks ago.

“When did I get back?” He stood to stare over the couch at the clock in the kitchen. 6:49 p.m.

“Uhh, two… maybe two and a half hours ago?”

An hour. A whole hour that he couldn’t account for. Alone. With Venti. Anything could have happened.

“That’s right,” he cleared his throat, rubbing at his chin harshly to spark some memory, “Because, we ate… and watched TV… and… Um–”

“—you don’t remember a thing, do you?” he asked, voice dropping low, almost offended even. 

Apologetically, Xiao shook his head.

“Hah.” His lips curled between his teeth and he looked away. Xiao’s brows furrowed nervously. Something had happened that his mind willfully erased, something pretty important to have taken the song from the man’s voice.

Nevertheless, Venti simply let his eyes slide shut and smiled solemnly. “Well, since you don’t know, and I am still Albedo, I’ll let you in on what happened a few hours ago.”

He quickly filled him in, up to the point of entering the house. He owed Kazuha and Albedo for the ride.

Apparently, the three of them laughed at Venti’s expense, too. But, the writer held back on the specifics as the tips of his ears reddened. He only assured that they’d ‘get to that later’ before continuing at the point of his arrival.

“I—Albedo—walked you in with Kazuha and you were stable. You were walking on your own, standing without help, even chatting now and then. All was going well, then you went to the bathroom. While we waited to say our goodbyes, Venti–a gracious host–” Xiao rolled his eyes. “–entertained us for a bit. Then, out-of-no-fucking-where, you came up behind him. Pulled his shirt to the side. and —!”

Xiao was already covering his face from embarrassment and silently hoped he’d burn alive from his scalding cheeks before getting to know what he’d done.

Only when Venti paused did he peek through his fingers to see why. His eyes adjusted again to the dark and widened as his hands slid down to his mouth in horror. 

“What the hell is that!?”

Venti glared softly, brows raised at Xiao’s exclamation. His marred shoulder stood exposed to the elements.

A pungent purple and maroon bruise surrounded by multiple little dents that curved around it like a smile greeted him; some of which clearly broke the skin, so Xiao made no effort to ask if it hurt.

 He swallowed thickly. “You’re sure that I…”

The man’s glare persisted past messy braids.

“They’re yours.”

He felt his brain short-circuit, waiting for a punch-line. Owlishly, he blinked at his friend, his best friend, his crush, and tried to imagine. To remember being that bold. He couldn’t. His eyes wouldn’t stop tracing the afflicted area, at a loss for words.

…

“You’ve got to be kidding—”

Fingers gripped the edge of his collar to pull it down more, he leaned into Xiao’s face until he was backed against the arm of the couch.

“These. Are. Your . Fucking . Teeth-Marks.” They were practically nose to nose now. So close that Xiao could smell crystal shrimp and feel Venti’s heated sigh across his lips.

Mere centimeters apart and Xiao’s mind raced to figure out just how many it would take to close the distance. The gap between the other man’s lips played with his reason like a ball of string. It unraveled quickly. Desire stacking to urge him forward—

“Xiao,”

“Hmm..?”

“You don’t look the least bit sorry.” Sea-green clicked down at his lips and the grin was apparent in the crinkle of his eyes. Eyes, Xiao wouldn’t mind drowning in if doing so came with Venti’s lips on his to resuscitate him. His mind was going fuzzy just thinking about it. …Was he supposed to be thinking about it? Archons, why was it so hard to focus?

He couldn’t smell anything amiss, but—“I’m sorry… you’re not drunk by any chance, are you?” it came out cracked and seemed to save Xiao from any ill intent, but Venti’s expression fell.

“Um, no,” Backing away slowly and deliberately, Venti tore himself from his personal bubble. Xiao felt the air in his lungs leave with him and come back all at once to violently sustain him. His train-of-thought veered back on track and his eyes regained their focus. “I got a little carried away again, that’s all. I’m working on it, I promise. You’re just so easy to tease. ”

The smile Xiao knew was there was gone, replaced with a more polite one. The smiles Venti used when he was doing his waltz. Linear tiptoes made sure he kept in line, moving calmly farther and farther away.

Xiao wanted to comfort him, to reassure him that he was fine. That was just it though, he wasn’t. Pathetically, he was searching for a way to be closer again, missing the warmth of his smile centimeters from his and the playful light flickering around contagiously in his eyes.

Instead, he shifted up again and kept his eyes away, forcing himself to mirror that politeness. “I am sorry, though. ”

“Oh, don’t worry,” traces of that playful light returned, as well as a subdued grin, “My revenge will be swift, mark my words! If there’s anyone you need to apologize to, it’s Albedo and Kazuha. They bolted before I could say or do anything,” he groaned, dragging his hands down his face.

“Their first time over—our first time having people in the apartment—and that’s what they get to witness!? It was mortifying! Don’t even get me started on the pegging fiasco! My reputation is in shambles!”

Pegging? Xiao shook his head free of that one quickly. He didn’t want to know. It seemed all fun and games, but Venti’s tired eyes spoke to the grief underneath.

“They’ve seen worse, but I'll talk to them.” 

Even if that conversation will be a pain in the—  

“Thanks for today. I’ll try to pay back your kindness.”

At the mere mention, Venti’s teal-tipped braids berated him fiercely with the shake of his head. “Nuh-uh, no need. You already do enough as it is. That’s how we got here in the first place!” he sighed, looking around aimlessly while his lashes batted coyly. “How about you bandage me back up and we’ll call it even, hm? I’ve got the first-aid right here,” he patted a red tin on the table.

Xiao hesitated, knowing he could surely do more than this to atone, but Venti’s watchful eyes told him this was all he was willing to allow. In turn, he shifted forward to make quick but concise work of bandaging the mark left there.

“Oh! While you’re at it,” he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and fingers flying across keys, “Help me answer these questions.”

___

When he heard Venti needed help, he was quick to agree. It wasn’t strange for him to have certain reports or marketing contracts he’d ask Xiao to go over with him. So, he was startled when he found himself on the receiving end of the more generic questions; many of which they already knew about one another.

Favorite food? Almond Tofu and Apple anything. 

Favorite season? Sexuality?

Xiao nearly slipped up, but he managed a small ‘Bi.’ While Venti dipped his wrist and laughed the question off. 

‘Who’s your best friend?’ had Venti beating his fists into his arm when both of them said ‘Carmen.’ Two could play at that.

It was nice for Xiao to see Venti letting his hair down again, leaning into him with abandon and skin ship on one hundred no matter what it did to his fragile heart. If it were anyone else, the idea of answering a bunch of pointless questions would have annoyed him. With Venti he simply went along with it, vaguely wondering just what brought it on in the first place.

Then things took a deeper turn.

“If you wanted to let someone know more about you, what are some things you’d tell them?”

He focused on the question harder than necessary, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look into those waiting orbs. 

“My occupation. Hobbies. My goals—”

A snort interrupted him, “So formal. Not even if they’re ok with weed? Well, if that’s your thing, answer.”

“You know them already.”

“Hmm ?” he hummed knowingly, “Must have slipped my mind, you’ll have to remind me.”

Sighing, “I work as a dancer at The Theater of Liyue, sometimes playing dual roles in the tech department. My hobbies are dancing, cooking, and binge-watching—”

“— Prancing with the Stars and Cryo-Zombie —”

“Only because you wanted me to watch it with you.”

Venti raised a finger to object. “Might I remind you, we only enjoyed one measly episode together? Then you watched the rest of it without me!”

“You said you were too busy with your novel to watch.”

“Yeah, but I…” whatever reason he had prepared drifted off and his finger wavered; lips dipping. “I guess that’s true...”

Again, Xiao found himself hesitant to comfort him, and Venti picked himself back up quickly. 

In passing, he added, “We should find something else to watch together,” and Xiao hummed. Neither confirming nor denying. He wouldn’t get his hopes up now that he and Venti had jobs and other things to worry about. But maybe it had a chance now that the only thing separating them was a schedule.

“One of my main goals was to dance at the theater after college. So, I’ve already achieved that much.” The other… he sucked in a breath and looked away, giving himself the courage to admit it. “The other is to bring someone special home to my father and receive his blessing.”

“Ooo,” Venti cooed, leaning around him to look at his face. Which he denied, turning away, knowing it was bright red.

“Who knew you were such a romantic?”

“I’m not. I just don’t have a lot that I want. At present, I’m completely content.”

“What about moving out? Sharing a room can’t be your favorite thing in the world,” he laughs but Xiao can hear it punch out, “Even Carti got sick of it.”

Xiao looked at him, finding him fidgeting with his fingers. "Why move out any time soon when I have Lords who hold me to my greatest standards?" Venti’s eyes were still averted, staring at the TV without really looking at it. He could tell by the way he glanced back and quickly away.

It was weird. Not having him cling like normal. Maybe that’s why his hand found its way onto his knee, squeezing softly to get him to look. When he did, Xiao surveyed his taken aback expression before continuing, “Where I am now is where I want to be.” 

They stared at each other for a moment before it dawned on him that he was stroking his thumb along his skin. He took his hand away and cleared the lump in his throat, noticing Venti shuffle uncomfortably next to him.

“What about you?”

“Wha..?”

“Your job… goals?”

“Oh!” he blinked several times before chuckling. “An answer I’ll gladly forfeit if you can keep a secret?” Xiao nodded, leaning forward.

Delighted, Venti leaned back into the couch. “When people talk about their experience with the foster care system it's always pretty... grim. I didn't want to be there any more than anyone else, but sometimes it didn't feel so bad with Carti there. Even though the system constantly tried separating us.” 

A wistful smile let his teeth glimmer in the light of the TV. “All I can remember was whining about it constantly. But Carmen didn’t whine, didn’t cry. He was always smiling, and it made me smile back. He kept us whole.

“When people would come around looking to adopt, he’d find the best places for us to hide until they gave up or went away. When we grew out of our hiding places he’d sing to me, songs he wrote all by himself, and tell me the names. Saying ‘When I grow up, I’ll publish this, and you can come look for me. We’ll be a family again. They can separate us, but they can’t keep us apart.’” 

He pulled his legs up to his chest, fitting himself comfortably into the couch cushion. His arms folded to cradle his head atop them while his eyes shut peacefully. “He started working as soon as he was allowed and told me not to worry about anything; that he'd take care of it. I haven’t done a lot to deserve it, but whenever I’m in trouble he’s right there. I can say something similar about many of the friends I’ve had the fortune of making,” his eyes slivered open, warm and pillowy, “Especially you.”

Xiao’s heart stuttered, but it was comfortable. Words he couldn’t say, bitten back. Venti laughed again, watching him, free and light. "I don't necessarily want to be him... but something like that. There’s something about him that I want for myself."

"It couldn't possibly be a nearly finished novel then."

He snorted; the cutest little sound Xiao's ever heard. "No! That's the one thing I've got over him. Don’t go blabbing any of that to him either!"

"What happens if I tell?"

Their gazes locked in a fiery and daring exchange. Determined jade glaring daggers at curious gold. Suddenly, Venti leaned over, shifting one leg over both of Xiao’s to sit comfortably in his lap, fitting his arms around his neck like a cozy scarf, and a satisfied little smirk. Meanwhile, Xiao’s limbs floundered.

"Then my vengeance will be swift."

Where should he put his hands? Where did he look? Eventually, he settled with balling them at his sides. But his eyes lingered across Venti’s face. Long lashes, thin brows, little button nose, and an all too taunting smile.

“Venti…”

He watched his eyes light up when he said his name and tricked himself into seeing that pillowy warmth reflected at him. He shouldn’t have been but having Venti in his lap was taking its toll sooner than he’d expected. So much for mellowing out.

“Do you have to be this close?” Xiao didn’t mean to sound so annoyed, but his poor racing heart begged for escape.

Unlike before, Venti didn’t back down. Instead, he nestled into the crook of Xiao’s neck and Xiao’s heart melted all over. 

“I can’t? I just felt like hugging you...” he mumbled.

That was all it took to convince Xiao’s arms to embrace him, Venti’s head sinking to his shoulder comfortably. Like this, Xiao could pretend he was holding a large toddler. Venti was rather light, too. A little too light for a grown man, but the perfect shape for his arms. Perhaps he’d have to make heavier breakfasts-

Then he felt the tiniest hint of a warm cavern of teeth descending on his shoulder and he blinked in confusion. It processed too late that this was Venti’s retribution.

He tensed and readied himself for the attack. He wouldn’t resist. The payback was deserved. But the pinprick of pressure he did register ended abruptly with Venti pulling back with a satisfied grin.

“Gotcha! You let your guard down too easily Xiao-ti~!”

Blink. Blink. “Was that it?”

“Huh?” Those thin brows drew in, nose scrunching as his eyes squinted distastefully. “What do you mean?”

“Venti. I’ve got bites from Qiqi worse than this.”

...

The man’s shoulders started shaking and Xiao thought maybe he’d gone too far. Then, he heard unbridled laughter. Serenely, Venti took one of the bands from his braid and began tying his hair back. 

“Y’know, Xiao,” the absence of his nickname chilled him, “I never thought you had it in you, but you managed to insult me as a man.” He shook his head with a dangerous smile and Xiao felt his stomach shift. He lowered his hands back to Xiao’s arms and leaned in again. “So, this time, I’m not holding back. Do me a favor and yelp when I break the skin.”

With that last warning, Venti was back on him. This time, his body slid against his like a puzzle piece, lying comfortably against him. A kiss was placed lightly on his shoulder before he felt it latch on, biting down and gradually sinking deeper into him while Venti’s hand slid behind him and found his spine.

He fought a shiver and raised a hand to his lips as that stinging sensation grew, far surpassing the last attempt. But, something was off. For all of Venti’s boasting, he could still feel him shaking, his fingers suddenly digging into his back a worrying amount.

A hot, wet, trail dripped and cascaded down his shoulder and Xiao’s eyes blinked back confusion. That’s when he wrapped his arm around the man, holding him close and gritting his teeth to withstand the desperate pressure.

His skin had yet to break, so the only thing that could have run down his skin were tears; a stream of pain that suddenly explained the shaking. But why? They’d just been laughing together. When did he suddenly start hurting?

If he needed to purge these feelings by gnawing into him, he’d allow it. Even with silent requests like this, Xiao couldn’t deny him. He just hoped that he’d get to help with whatever bothered him. And, if it was his fault, that he’d get to apologize.

Too soon, he yelped as Venti broke the skin and a painful warmth exploded around small teeth. Just as quickly, those teeth retracted, and Venti parted from the area with a kiss to his shoulder.

“How’s that for a bite–?” He was smiling but those tell tale tears clung to his cheeks oddly, as if Venti was unaware of their presence. This opened up a whole new line of questions he wasn’t sure how to ask, but he felt obligated by his own curiosity to do something.

“You don’t have to stop, if you just don’t want to talk about it, you can keep going.”

Venti’s eyes flutter baffled and staring down at him from where he still sat in his lap. “Um… doesn’t it hurt? I don’t know what you’re on about, but that shoulder is done.” 

“The other one is fine—”

“Xiao-ti~, do you have some kink I don’t know about?” he teased, but that playfulness came to a halt when Xiao’s insistent fingers yanked at the other sleeve, the laughter quickly snuffed. “Seriously, what’s gotten into you?” 

He hesitates, looking up at Venti. He didn’t want to suffer another waltz, what with how easy it was for Venti to laugh off all of his hardships; how easy it was for him to push it all down. But when else would he find an opening? Once Venti decided it was over, it was gone.

So, it all came out at once in a hand that he guided up to gently cup his cheeks, a thumb under his eye that broke the trail down his face, and words that dripped from him like a faucet as realization hit those eyes he loved so much in horribly dark hues.

“If I did something, I’m sorry, but if anything else is bothering you—!”

Venti looked at the appendage and the tears attached to it like foreign objects; lips parted in shock, eyes blinking rapidly.

A new line appeared over the old one.

Thin and nimble fingers went to quickly wipe them away, not nearly quick enough to stop them. “ Oh —” just like the sound itself, Xiao’s heart broke, “No, sorry it’s my fault— I’m fine. I just… Sorry.” Quivering lips folded in on themselves to try and keep the hurt out of his voice, but Xiao could see them wobbling helplessly. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that…”

Xiao’s hand hung still between them, ready to reach out, but Venti’s arms blocked him. Hands shielding his face, lips hiding him away and eyes shut to Xiao’s advances. 

 A wall suddenly built between them. The exact opposite of what he wanted. Being shut out so quickly, Xiao scrambled for something to say, anything to let Venti know that he was still there for him, didn’t mind the tears, didn’t mind listening if he would only tell him what was wrong…

Maybe that was just it. 

Venti wasn’t ready to tell him yet. He wouldn’t even let himself feel whatever this was in the first place enough to tell him what was wrong. He needed a bridge. The same one that cracked him open the first time.

"Did you know… kids bite a lot if they haven’t dropped the habit from when they were teething? So, when they want to feel safe they’ll bite people, furniture, themselves, anything really.”

Wet sea-green peeked at him, fist still trying to cover the hurt. Still, his gaze proved curious; hands lowering some while staring at the exposed shoulder and back to his face. Xiao stared back, waiting carefully before nodding, coaxing him back, “It’s a little different with adults… but if you need a place to feel safe…" Let it be me. He selfishly let the thought flow, implied it even.

And when that wall began to crack open, he felt no guilt for it, only opening his arms to embrace Venti as he was. 

Unballing, Venti’s hands shook like tiny leaves as they made their way back to his shoulder and arm. For a moment, Xiao prepared himself, watching teary eyes disappeared to the side of his face, lips parting as he leaned down—

Screech.

Suddenly, the elevator directly connected to their apartment came to a rusty halt, and so did the two of them as the room fell silent. Carmen was home.

All at once, Xiao witnessed Venti wipe and sniff away his tears in a rush, calming his breathing with a few forced deep breaths. He patted his cheeks, turning them a light pink with his eyes squeezed shut before opening them again in a bright flourish. 

Just like that, his smile was back; at least the mask of one.

This wasn’t the first time Xiao witnessed this, and it wouldn’t be the last. But, still, his hand reached out anyway and caught Venti by the arm before he could escape.

He glanced his way, his smile briefly faltering. “We’ll talk about this later, right?” Please, don’t hide from me.

With Venti’s gaze falling almost immediately and the door beginning to open, he feared an answer would elude him. 

Finally, Venti nodded, small and stiff, but there. Then, they heard the echoing footfalls of leather boots entering the space, a loud jingle of keys accompanying them before they stopped abruptly.

“Oh. My. Archons–! Nope. I’m leaving.”

“Carti, wait!”

“–and stick around to watch?! If you think for a second thatI’m into that you’ve got another thing coming Ven!” Carmen’s silhouette shouted from the door through the darkness.

“We’re just breaking in the new couch!” As if to prove it he bounces up and down. While still sitting, heinously, in Xiao’s lap; an unconvincing sight to say the least. 

Xiao hissed his name with his jumping too roughly on his groin and nearly tossed the imp off next to him. It only drew a few stray giggles from the spirited figure as he used the momentum to stand up and bombard Carmen to keep him from leaving.

Neither of them was 100% yet, but this would be enough not to make Carmen suspicious for now.

Hand to his chest to calm himself, he took the opportunity to turn on the light, illuminating the room. Too much time in dark and isolating spaces usually spelled trouble; an unfortunate result of his early childhood. With the strain it put on his eye, he wondered why he hadn’t noticed sooner.

His eye drifted back to Venti, now light and bubbly in his brother’s presence. It wasn’t hard to draw two-and-two together, but the realization alone had his hand over his blissful smile. How could he notice impartial darkness next to Venti’s resilient light? Venti’s jiving with Carmen, telling him about the food, work, and whatever else popped up along the way as he dragged him to the couch floated around unobtrusively—

“Xiao, what the fuck happened to your shoulder?!”

“Venti did,” he said without thinking, but Carmen’s eyes squinted knowingly, and he backtracked, “N-Not like that! I mean, we just-just— it's not what it sounds like!” His face was on fire.

“Oh? Then, enlighten me. What happened?” his arms folded, and he waited, lips screwed up like he already knew Xiao’s story would be unconvincing.

Xiao straightened up to air the truth but found it fizzling out, knowing he’d have to start with him biting the hell out of Venti, his eyes widened, and he looked away slowly. “Nothing.”

The man, unsatisfied and even more curious, turned automatically to his brother. “Ven. Explain.”

“Huh? Oh. You see,” he cleared his throat, as he usually did when he was about to regale a tall tale. “Xiao bore his fangs at me, and I suffered great battle scars. Then too soon, he let his guard down, giving me the perfect opportunity to return the ferocious bite in kind. An eye for an eye, a bite for a bite. Of course, I emerged victoriously,” he boasted pridefully. Xiao didn’t miss that faraway look in his eyes though.

“So, you started it.” Carmen, unphased, turned his attention back to Xiao to tease, “How bold.”

“It’s not his fault completely… he wasn’t himself. Poor Xiao came home so ill and out of it,” he acted as though he’d faint and fell in front of Carmen, while the other man instinctively reached to keep him from hitting the floor. “He must have mistaken me for food, as terribly hungry as he was. He couldn’t resist taking a bite out of me~”

“Venti, you’re heavy,” he said, but there was no strain in his posture at all. Just his exasperated expression at Venti’s theatrics. “Also, you bit a sick person?”

At this, Venti leaned gracefully back upright and gave a loud yawn, arms flying above his head to stretch.

“Oh, would you look at the time! Seems, I’ll need to head to bed. I got your vegetable dumplings, by the way, so make sure to eat properly. Oo! Maybe while you’re at it you could help Xiao make a doctor’s appointment? Thanks!” He gave a small giggle, dodging Carmen’s annoyed kick at his shin to travel back around the couch, Xiao’s eyes following him until he was staring up at him while he loomed behind.

“Your bed didn’t come today either, so…” he trailed off, his voice hushed to begin with. Xiao hummed to himself. The implication was clear, he was just surprised this time he was getting a choice.

“Last night’s arrangements are fine. …Just until the bed comes in.” There’s a giddiness in aqua eyes that stands apart from the mask, making Xiao swoon. 

“Good… that’s good,” his eyes are soft and Xiao’s hyper-aware of his fingers lingering near his shoulder, barely touching him. Then he turned and skipped away to their room.

Dragging his attention to the other twin, he waited while Carmen crossed in front of him, picked up a take-out container, and searched pointedly for the vegetarian-safe delicacy. There was silence for a moment as he did so, allowing Xiao to speak.

“I can make my own appointment; you don’t have to help me.”

“Oh, I know. Ven’s just used to me doing that stuff, I've spoiled him.” He took a pair of chopsticks and methodically parted a dumpling to explore its contents. Seeming satisfied with his findings he plopped down on the couch right next to him and took his first mouth-full. 

“So,” he chewed quietly, still attempting to talk past his food as ravenous hunger supported his ill-manners. “What’s this about you being sick?”

He broke down how he passed out at work, how he’d been feeling dizzy and sluggish beforehand, and the added stress of being made the lead of their next upcoming play (if they couldn’t find someone else to play the role.)

“Hmm… and you ended up passing out because you weren’t doing so hot and didn’t eat anything?”

“Probably–Ah!” he received a quick swat to his head that he had no way of dodging. 

“That’s for not taking care of yourself.”

“I didn’t know you were my mom now.” Xiao’s arms rose to shield himself ineffectively when Carmen swatted him again across the arm. His laughter was punched out of him, taking more hits as Carmen grew frustrated and then gave in to his own laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. 

He drew back to his dumpling box with a cheeky smile, “You wish I was your mother. I doubt you wanna call Childe ‘Mommy.’” Xiao gave a harsh shiver at just the thought and Carmen continued to laugh maniacally at him through another bite of food.

They sat quietly after that, opting to watch a bit of the TV that was still on the news. He didn’t mind sitting on the couch with Carmen, in contrast to sitting with an active and chaotic Venti, it was peaceful. But sitting in that serenity only made him think back to that sad look on Venti’s face from earlier. He couldn’t possibly know what it was about, not with Venti ignoring it himself, but he wanted to.

Letting him eat, Xiao swung an arm behind the couch, looking back to see if Venti was peeking or planned to come back. But the door was still shut firmly. Perhaps he was tired after the day’s events?

“He’s not coming back,” Carmen confirms around a smaller bite. Xiao looked over, curiously as he chewed to speak. “When he wants to be alone. He gets the hell out of dodge. You're stuck with me now." He smirked around another dumpling.

He snorted, hiding his disappointment, "Pfft, like I'm ever stuck with you."

Carmen jerks and coughs, looking at him with suddenly wide eyes, "You—!" the struggle to get it out, letting him know he nearly choked.

"What? Are you ok?"

"That's… gay. Super gay."

"And, what about it?"

The back of his hand comes to his forehead, still gripping his chopsticks. "Oh, Xiao, what will the neighbors think about you courting everyone like this!? I can hear the gossip now." His voice is dripping theatrical sarcasm and Xiao just folds his arms. 

"I'm sure they’d have a lot to work with if you said 'Oh, Xiao' any louder."

Surprisingly, Carmen had the nerve to blush, arms crossing around himself. "As if I'm the one they’d suspect. I'm sure they'll have plenty to complain about when you finally put the moves on Ven."

"Again. Nothing's going to happen," he reminds solemnly with a hand on his chest, but Carmen just waves him off.

“Oh? Well, considering something already did...” his gaze drew to where they both knew the bite was, even covered by a sleeve. “I have a question.”

Xiao waited and watched Carmen’s fingers fiddle with his chopsticks, gaze scalding the food box while contemplating his next words.

“Do you love him?” he asks calmly, but that doesn’t stop Xiao from shifting as though burned, feeling an anvil loom over his head. Words floating at his lips, but never touching down; speechless. 

“Breathe, Xiao,” Carmen warned with the hint of a smile, “I just wanted to know.”

“What does it matter how I feel?”

Silver-blue eyes rolled; hooded glare piqued. “How you feel matters . If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked. Why do you have to make things so difficult, just answer the question.”

Considering this for a moment, begrudgingly he answered, “I don’t know…” Now leaned into his hands, folded together, his leg bounced and sent comforting tremors through him. When he noticed it the first time, he tried to stop but quickly gave into it.

Carmen waited for him to continue, and with his oppressive silence, Xiao urged himself to break it. “Uncertainty helps me be his friend and avoid crossing the line. But it makes everything else harder. Every touch against my skin is like fire and my mind goes blank. It feels indecent, and the only way I find myself coming back to reality is realizing all over again that I can’t have him.”

“You’re the only one who thinks that. Despite how thick-headed he is, I know he sees your value as a person, and he cares about you. Say, one day you did confess—” he tried but Xiao was already shaking his head.

“We’re already good enough friends. Isn’t that enough?” 

“I don’t know,” he discarded his chopsticks in the take-out box, beginning to clean off the coffee table of all other items, too. “Is it?”

Just like that, his foot-tapping came to a full stop, and he fell silent, unable to respond with something that made logical sense and still kept him in his comfort zone.

“Looks like I struck a nerve," his sigh steams with regret. "That’s fine, I got my answer.” His eyes shut peacefully, patting his belly. “Thank Ven for dinner for me, will you? I’m gonna turn in.”

Xiao nearly scoffed, but he held it in. It was easy to forget that Carmen had a dance as well. Swift and graceful, a ballroom dance that carried him through conversations he led like a pro. He’d treat you kindly, dip you even, allow room for humor while still maintaining structure. Then, after holding you close, he’d bid you adieu, leaving the memory and the lesson.

He moved his hand into Carmen’s hair and gave it a ruffled that sent those loose whisps waving. Carmen’s eyes shot open, and his face pouted up. “Hey!”

“That’s for lecturing me, even though you have your own affairs to deal with. When you confess to Aether I’ll ask for Venti’s hand in marriage. Deal?” He grinned smugly, sensing his exasperation already.

“That’s not fair,” his pout deepened, his eyes seeming bigger and face younger now. “You know my situation is different… I just want him to be ready.” The child behind that wise man popped out and Xiao cracked a smile.

“Not that easy right? I understand. He’ll come around; anyone would be lucky to have you. One day you’ll be the only thing on his mind.”

“Pfft, thanks, mom.” Through his chuckling Xiao could sense some tension leaving him, shoulders sinking and a real yawn escaping that left him blinking lazily. “Ok. It’s a deal. Can’t get out of it now, even if you were just teasing.” He pulled himself onto his feet, gathering everything from the table, a waiter’s habit perhaps, and headed to the kitchen.

Xiao groaned in the back of his head, knowing just how motivated Carmen could get at times and trying to mentally prepare himself for the worst. With that in mind, he hopped up and made his way to his room. “Night, Carmen.”

“Goodnight, sweet dreams.”

___

Entering, Xiao frowns immediately, finding Venti actually in bed, fast asleep. To his dismay, he was also wrapped firmly in both Xiao’s and his own blankets, snoring away. 

Little sneak. Looks like that conversation was over for today.

With a sigh, he turned into the bathroom and got ready for bed. He emerges damp and searches for some nightwear in the closet. What he doesn’t expect is to be assaulted by a canvas that flew from the shelf and smacked him dead in the forehead. He flinched at the pain but let it hit the floor before he picked it up to place it back.

But– not finding any color –he paused, bringing it back down to take a closer look. There, he found a sketch, rushed but still a brilliant outline. Two people pressed up against a large oak tree, kissing. The sun setting. The wind picked up around them as the nightlife came to watch their embrace.

Its beauty caused Xiao to frown, he vaguely processed that one figure as Venti, but the other… faced away from the scene and had no discernible features. He sighed. It wasn’t his business to figure out who the other was. It didn’t matter. Xiao held the evidence for needing to keep his distance in hand.

It was happening again. Subtle and slow, Xiao had seen the signs since the other day. It was happening faster than he’d anticipated, but that was Venti. Unpredictable. Flowing with abandon like the swirl of a cyclone.

He placed the canvas back and grabbed a shirt and pants. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure Venti was still sleeping, he stripped down and reclothed himself. When he checked again, thankfully, he was sleeping soundly. So, he closed up the closet and went to lay down. Thankful for the desk lamp being on once again.

Briefly hesitating he slid in next to Venti, making sure there was some distance between them before closing his eyes to drift off—

“Xiao...?” a groggy Venti turned to ask as Xiao’s eyes blinked back open.

“Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No… I was waiting. D’you still wanna...?” His eyes were barely open, and his mouth still drooped, not wanting to move.

Xiao chuckled at the way his words slurred. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

Content with that, he sighed, staring at Xiao lazily. Amber eyes watched him scoot closer, closing that gap between them to set clumsy hands on his face. “You must be so tired…” he felt his thumb brush under his eyes. 

A fresh tear streaked over his cheeks.

He pursed his lips, not trusting his voice, and just nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ll sing you to sleep.” He gave him a dopey little smile and Xiao could do nothing but sink into him as he was pulled close to his chest. 

“When you wake up, we can make breakfast together— well, I can watch you make breakfast and we can eat together…” Xiao hummed his agreement, unable to deny him. 

Meanwhile, he wet Venti’s shirt, unable to stop bothersome images of the canvas from flashing behind his eyelids, or completely fabricated images of Venti walking out of the door with everything he owned; tired of living with Carmen and him and ready for a new scene, maybe even planning to get his own apartment and slowly lose contact with the both of them.

Lazy humming drifted above his head and gave him something else to focus on. The way it echoed through his skull pushed away all else and gingerly allowed him to breathe and wrap his arms around Venti. For now, focusing on the Venti that was there and not the one that would leave him behind someday.

Chapter Text

The junior concert had ended in a series of solos, each student with their respective instrument and style choice. Many had picked out contemporary pieces, fashioned to suit the modern taste of the crowd— leaning on the popular vote. 

Even though Venti saw no shame in their game, he decided against the new-age selections and chose a classic. He'd always been a fan of the more bygone tunes of Mondstadt, finding them especially suited for his instrument of choice, the lyre. Like silky-smooth wine, aged to perfection, he would play songs of old, trouncing his own mischievous twists on them to make them his own still, enhancing their flavor.

He'd only recently picked the lyre up again after many years without it, but playing came as easy as breathing. Plucking at the strings in an empty corridor felt like a long awaited homecoming. Of course, the credit was not all his own. He would be remiss to chalk it up to luck that he picked up his old friend again. 

A certain spiky haired man with eyes like sun-kissed honey inspired a need to play the instrument he’d long forgotten. He had the pleasure of listening to his new friend sing a lullaby on a quiet evening where it was just the two of them. His voice, like a flute, begged for company, and Venti was too eager to fulfill that plea. Alas, the man was a shy one, and the opportunity to get him out of his comfort-zone to hear the two together had yet to strike. 

But maybe someday.

Now, he plucked lazily at the lyre’s strings, the tune mournful as he waited outside the auditorium alone. There he played a song of remembrance that thrummed with the smiles, tears, and laughter his fickle tunes often coaxed from the audience; fond memories. Only one wish, in the form of a plea, unfulfilled as he and his beloved instrument shared their last goodbye. 

"What's wrong?" The aforementioned flute of a voice interrupted his solemn song.

He played just a little longer, letting his fingers kiss each string. Fleeting pecks struck his favorites, then the instrument was lowered to rest in his lap.

Cross legged on the floor, his eyes trailed up black boots and loose fitting blue-jeans that topped a tan leotard, blending masterfully with tan skin. A gym bag hung over his shoulder and his face still appeared flush from strenuous activity. Honeycomb eyes stared down at him through wispy black bangs that shot down from a widow’s peak; waiting for an answer.

He dubiously smiled to greet him before picking himself up off the floor and joining the other in standing. 

"Didn’t you say your class would let out early tonight? Punctuality’s always been your birthright."

“You know how it is. ‘One more time’ is never actually one more time," he explained, his knowing eyes never completely shifting and making Venti opt to look at the floor. 

The other man had a tendency to stare holes into him when searching for something, sensitive to the subtle shifts in Venti's mood. His melancholy wasn’t poorly hidden either… No. Venti was rarely caught. Xiao was just too good. Sadly, his perceptiveness would go unappreciated.

The older man turned his smile up, hoping the other would let him be. "I see. Say… how wet is your appetite? I was thinking of going down to Angel's Share for a bite."

A suspicious hum drew from the man and he folded his arms gently, eyes gleaming with disquiet. "I can’t say I’m not peckish after practice, but… You're going to get wasted, aren't you?"

"That is the plan, I cannot deny. Tonight calls for indulgence in Dandelion Wine!" His smile went from ear to ear. 

Xiao sighed in annoyance, "Not everything has to rhyme. Besides, you know I don't drink…" he trailed off, but Venti could see by the way he played with his bracelet nervously that it wasn't a 'no.' 

"Precisely why I invited you to eat . You may taste of Mondstadt's finest delicacies, on me."

"So, I’m being bribed to babysit while you get drunk as a skunk."

"Not babysitting! Hanging out . Drinking’s no fun alone, and Carti is busy! Plus, when’s the last time we went off campus— just the two of us?" Xiao’s stare faltered and his hand went to his chin while trying to think. When his lips screwed up to the side, Venti felt his conscience waver and seized Xiao’s other hand to hold between both of his.

His lashes batted, working his charm. "Please?"

"... Under two conditions..." 

Venti could already feel his heart singing, excitement sweet and brisk on his tongue. Already, he was agreeing with a nod, waiting expectantly for said conditions.

"First, you have to eat something before you start drinking so heavily." Aquamarine eyes rolled. Count on Xiao to be a diligent mother hen.

"Fine."

"Second… if you're feeling upset – I know I'm not Carmen, or any of your other friends – but you can talk to me. I just… want you to keep that in mind." Amber eyes shifted, moving so rapidly Venti couldn’t quite catch them.

Venti blinked, wide eyed, eyebrows furrowing to focus on this unexpected request. It wasn’t a promise to say anything like he anticipated, but an offer that someone was there to listen. It made his grin simmer down into something softer and more genuine.

"Ok… I'll keep that in mind. Perhaps, after I’ve had my fill of wine," he sang, taking that hand to tug him along, Xiao’s feet tripping over themselves as the poet broke into a sprint. 

"I feel like– you could rhyme anything– with wine–!" he huffed from behind as they ran, and the musician laughed breathlessly; because of course it was true.

"No time to fret– we have a bus to catch!"

——

A week easily passed without incident. 

He tried waking Venti that morning, like he'd asked. But, as breakfast was served and they sat on the couch together, the man’s eyes dropped while curled up, watching Xiao eat without touching his plate. When Xiao looked over to get the ball rolling, he found that sleep had reclaimed Venti and he snored softly with his head resting on his pulled up knees. 

Instead of waking him, especially at seven in the morning, he disappeared into their room and returned with a blanket to drape over the sleeping figure’s shoulders. Then, he cleaned up his dish and put the leftovers away for Carmen while leaving the young writer's portion in the fridge.

Afterwards, similar to that day, they hadn’t talked. Venti’s all-nighter marathons began again, in which Xiao would have to shut his laptop down and lure him to bed. Then before long, he'd slip away to make breakfast then head out for work— which took him away for most of the day, until he came home to make dinner.

The moment had passed and Xiao wasn’t sure if bringing things up would be any use. Even if they did find time to talk about it, it felt like Venti would just end up shrugging it off as nothing.

The urge to help the man, who tended towards wanderlust, through the last of his novel outweighed his desire to confront him. 

Besides, what choice did he have when Venti hadn’t spoken up either?

So, it sat unresolved between them. All the way up until Xiao’s doctor's appointment.

“You seem to be showing all the symptoms for anemia. Your body isn't making enough red blood cells due to a deficiency in your iron. It would explain the fatigue as well as the collapse you experienced a little less than a week ago,” Dr. Baizhu, Xiao’s primary care since he was taken in, offered kindly while jotting something down on his clipboard.

Though a tall man he was, his thick grass-green hair, pulled back in a combination of braided, bunned, and ponytailed, was noticeably long, and left a long strand on the side of his face. A strand that brushed gently against his half framed glasses. Sharp rose gold eyes narrowed behind them knowingly, aiding his wisened smile in delivering Xiao’s diagnosis.

Xiao blinked, not necessarily surprised, but still unsure. “Can anemia make you not remember things? I’ve never heard of a side-effect like that.”

“Ah…” he took a moment to think and then made a vague gesture of whirling his wrist. “I suppose you could say it’s not so much a side-effect of the anemia itself, but the effects of fatigue on your cognitive functioning—”

A chin suddenly dug into Xiao’s shoulder with a heavy sigh, arms wrapping tighter where they slacked before around his waist. “I really tried to comprehend that, but my brain couldn’t take it!”

Baizhu simply laughed at Venti’s abrupt profession while Xiao moved a hand over his shoulder to pat the befuddled man’s soft head of hair. Xiao knew he’d grown bored from waiting for the appointment in the first place, and Baizhu’s jargon probably wasn’t helping.

“My apologies, Venti. All I mean is, the mind can do strange things when exhausted. Areas of our body are constantly conserving energy when the body is in distress, focusing on survival over functionality.” The sympathetic smile he gave over his shoulder suggested he was losing Venti again and he wrapped it up there with, “Let’s just say that ‘memory’ didn’t make the VIP list in keeping Xiao’s body working.”

“Oh…” Venti’s amazed expression made Xiao’s eyes roll, anticipating he’d still have to explain it again later.

“For now, what we’ll do is prescribe you some iron supplements to raise your blood count. Your diet will have to include more red meats while we keep an eye on the situation in further visits. I suggest you return once the supplements have run out so we can see if any changes have occurred. Other than that, you’re all set.”

He handed over the prescription and Xiao took it, tucking it away quickly in his pocket. “Thank you, Dr. B.”

“It’s no problem,” he rose from the seat in front of them, prompting those arms to unlock and lock back when they themselves stood from the patient bed. “It was also very nice meeting you, Venti. When your book comes out, I’ll make sure to buy it. Perhaps you’ll make a comeback to the music scene as well?”

“Ahh, probably not any time soon, but I appreciate your support! Who knows, maybe I’ll be here for Xiao’s next appointment—”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?!” He looked up at Xiao with shock and disbelief, whipping his head next to look at Baizhu frantically. “I wasn’t any trouble today, was I?”

“Of course not. It’s a pleasure to meet one of Xiao’s friends. ” The unnecessary amount of emphasis Baizhu used, cutting his eyes knowingly at Xiao, was exactly why Venti couldn't come back. Ever.

Dr. Baizhu had been his doctor for a long time – was even an old friend of Zhongli’s, making them practically family. 

Which meant he knew things. 

Too many things. 

Things that Xiao had told him in confidence. Things he never expected Venti to find out about. Now that he was here in Liyue, things were starting to come back to bite him.

Despite the professional and well put together ‘doctor’ the man presented himself to be, his mischievous streak, reminiscent of his snake-like smile, was not to be underestimated. Xiao had witnessed that firsthand when Zhongli and Childe had first started getting acquainted. One time, Baizhu caught them making goo-goo eyes at each other while sitting down for tea and unleashed a slew of risqué jokes on the two. It was so utterly mortifying and repugnant that Xiao excused himself, leaving the two to suffer alone.

To put it frankly, he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Baizhu’s jesting, thus preferring to keep interactions between the three of them as few and far between as possible.

That’s what he thought. However, by the time his mind was made up on his decision and he was ready to take the other man back to their apartment, the spirited thing next to him had traded his side for Baizhu’s, hovering over each others’ phones to exchange contact information.

“What the— Isn’t this a violation in the patient health policy?!”

Venti side eyed him cheekily, giving his phone a tap that immediately had Baizhu’s cell notified and dinging. “What? I’m just exchanging contacts with a fan. I’m not the patient here.”

“Precisely. Besides, this could serve as another emergency contact, as you are no longer staying with Zhongli. I’m simply being a forward-thinking doctor.”

“You’re simply being nosey.”

“Me? Never. Actually, Venti, could you do me a favor and sign Xiao out up front while I give him the rundown on some side effects?” Xiao gave an internal sigh at the obvious distraction and lie, feeling more annoyed when Venti followed along happily, giving Xiao a pat on the shoulder as he skipped off. 

“Roger that! I won't be long! Just don’t have too much fun while I’m gone~” And with that, his eccentric roommate skipped down the hall.

And Xiao tried and failed not to watch him go, the wind kicking up under each click of his heels as though he commanded it, his braids swaying happily. His cropped shirt and shorts were hardly appropriate for a doctor’s appointment, but Venti had insisted it was fine as long as he wore a cardigan; one that had quickly been tied around his waist once they boarded the bus.

Lingering on the boy’s form made him question himself in disbelief. How had he been able to bare his unclad torso against his back while he was being checked out, but other times, peaks of his bare flesh would cause his heart to stir uncomfortably in his chest. He swore his mind had an outstanding fortitude when he willed it. It was only in moments when his brain flooded with thoughts of Venti, that he couldn’t catch a break.

“Xiao—” and the voice he didn’t want to hear taunting and teasing him called him back to the present, where Dr. Baizhu and him stood in the hall alone.

“Before you start,” he cut him off quickly, turning his gaze sharp and serious, “please, do not ask if Venti and I are seeing each other.”

The doctor gave his words a quick thought before continuing his dialogue. “What’s wrong with this friend of yours that you don’t want him to know you’ve got a crush on him?”

Xiao sucked air in through his clenched teeth, chiding himself for leaving any openings. “That’s none of your business— and who said there was anything wrong with him to begin with?” His arms folded strictly across his form and Baizhu quickly raised his hands in defense, hoisting the white flag.

“No one, of course. However, a little birdie told me that you tend to pick suitors apart, weighing the pros and cons, before even giving them a chance. I just thought I’d ask about it, since this is the one you haven’t been able to stop talking about. Yet, when he looks at you, your gaze is already wiped clean of the adoration it holds when he’s not .”

He cursed himself for dumping so much of his annoyance with flirtatious classmates onto Zhongli that his confidant inevitably loaded it off onto someone as well, but he cursed Baizhu more for his perceptiveness. Was that really what he did? How he acted around Venti? Veiling and unveiling a mask at the drop of a hat?

“There's… nothing wrong per say… but there’s nothing going on between us. There shouldn’t ever be anything going on between us. We’re best friends— and you’re my doctor, who I shouldn’t be discussing this with in the first place.” He straightened himself once again. “Don’t you have a patient to tend to or an appointment somewhere ?”

Baizhu, completely ignoring this last part, just smiled and leaned against the wall, arms folded. “Well, as your doctor, I’m just assessing some areas of stress in your life. It’s not good for your general health and wellbeing.”

Xiao scoffed, “A crush is just something that passes with time the longer you don’t act on it. There’s no stress involved” even knowing it wasn’t true. It is stressful, but he has to maintain what they have; the only alternative was to burn bright only to inevitably burn out.

“I must disagree. If I heard correctly, the two of you are living together now, are you not? If so, close proximity with someone you are trying to hide your feelings from can cause excessive amounts of tension. If you’re as hard on yourself as Zhongli says, you may end up back here sooner than you think.”

He pushes his glasses up on his face. “But that’s all to say I hope you resolve that issue quickly, lest it fester and turn into something you regret.”

“Well, when that happens, I’ll be sure to call upon your services—” He turns to leave, frustrated by the lecture given, as if he wasn’t fully prepared for the storm of emotions he’d unceremoniously thrown himself into.

“Xiao.” The pleading in the man’s voice was the only thing that made him stop, turning his head enough over his shoulder to let him know he was listening. “If all else flies through one ear and out of the other, please keep this piece of advice in mind? Enjoy your youth and don’t be afraid to take chances. We all like to think we’re in control of our lives, but we never know what the future holds, even in places where opportunity isn’t in abundance.”

Xiao stood silent, thinking through Baizhu’s words, trying to hear him out – especially since his tone told him this came from a personal place, despite the professional setting.

‘Take chances’? How could he? How would their current relationship survive if he got even a taste of what having Venti to himself was like? Honestly, it might not be too different from what was already happening— but it would all change once Venti’s habits began kicking in again. It would tear them apart, no matter how much they cared for each other.

Baizhu meant well, he understood that, but this was a whole can of worms that couldn’t be solved with a few wise words. So, instead of outright rejecting him, he gave a curt nod over his shoulder, and bid the man fair well, assuring him he’d be back once the prescription emptied.

He didn’t want to see what expression he made – didn’t want to make any promises that he couldn’t keep – so he walked.

In the bright halls, smelling of strong cleaning supplies, he could hear the loud crying of a baby in another room. Getting a shot? Being welcomed to the world? Just crying? Who knew? Still, Xiao sympathized with that cry, wondering how long it had been since he’d been that liberal with himself. 

When you grew up, it stopped being so easy to let it all out. ‘Hiding feelings’ was the norm once you became an adult. He knew this, even though he wasn’t much of an adult yet. In years, sure, but he knew better than to think he knew it all. Naturally, one’s psychology would eventually take over and craft you into a being capable of surviving and adapting to the world around you… At least, that’s how it was supposed to go.

If you’re Xiao, you complicated the process by stumbling and falling for an intangible boy who did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted—

“Boo!” Speaking of which, said boy quickly came popping out from one of the adjacent halls as he walked, blocking his path with a big grin. 

Xiao paused, standing in place for exactly five seconds with a straight face, then said, “Ah, you scared me,” in the most deadpan voice he could muster before stepping around Venti to start their way out.

Immediately, Venti was on him, tugging at his arm to complain that he didn’t mean what he said at all, the wounds of Xiao’s mind being licked once more by the whirlwind that was Venti, with no time to muddle again, prevented by an ever present and peaceful storm.

“I saw your braid from around the corner.”

“Ugh! The betrayal!” He snatched up the offending braid between two fingers and glared. “One more instance and it’s off with your head!”

“What unreliable scouts.”

They both laughed at their absurdity as they exited the clinic, opening the doors to a still beautiful day. It wasn’t often that Xiao could get Venti outside when he was working; he had insisted on coming to the appointment. This was their first time out together in Liyue.

Realizing this, he turned to the man in question and clicked his tongue. “When is your editor coming over to collect your manuscript?”

Jade eyes were on him in seconds, and then they were flitting around, searching for the answer with that cute scrunch and bend to his nose, while lips puckered and swished from side to side. “Mm… pretty sure she said 8:00 or so… Why?”

Xiao glanced at his phone. It was nearly one o’clock— more than enough leisure time. Perfect. “I was wondering if there was anywhere you wanted to go? Anywhere at all? Since we have time?”

“Oo,” Venti’s eyes immediately began sparkling with ideas, scoping the immediate area for a venue. “This is rare! But being from Mondstadt, I don’t know where! Um…” He whipped around, eagerly, looking like a child and Xiao nearly wished he’d asked a bit farther from the entrance.

However, he suddenly stopped, an idea playing on his brow as he hooked an arm around Xiao’s. “Do you have any recommendations? After all, you are from this nation. Maybe a local food and bar, you think? I say we deserve celebratory drinks!”

Venti’s grin and wink were hard to resist, but his brows furrowed and eyes squinted with an unamused swiftness. “I don’t really want to drink right after a wellness check-up.” Or, at all. But he doesn’t say that.

Venti gave a giggle and a wagged finger, seemingly one step ahead. “Well that is why you won't be drinking. You’ll be eating — lots of hardy meats and leafy greens, that’s for sure!”

Something in his own expression must’ve given him away, because Venti’s smile faltered and his wide eyes of excitement narrowed to a soft, genuine, half-lidded position. “I won't drink too much. I haven’t had a drink in… What? Two months?”

“That is true…” Xiao acknowledged reluctantly. Honestly, he didn’t want Venti to have even a sip of alcohol for multiple reasons. Most prominently, he remembered almost like deja vu, the last time they’d gone to the pub and Venti had one too many. Mistakes were made and rectified, but Xiao couldn’t help feeling a repeat wasn’t too far off the horizon. 

“How about this? Instead of going out to eat, we can go to the store and pick something up. Then, you can drink in the privacy of our apartment. How does that sound?”

There was a deep pout on Venti’s face as Xiao spoke, and when he got to the end, it drooped into a deep and cartoony frown— deflated. His eyes rolled in full dramatics as he sighed, “ Fine ! We can do things your way. But I’m not happy about it…” he trailed off, eyeing Xiao up and down.

His own outfit wasn’t much; simple black jeans with a matching shirt and jean jacket to tie it all together. He wanted to fight the chill of the air a little bit, unlike some people. But the glint in Venti’s eyes seemed to have little to do with his attire. 

“In fact,” Venti continued suddenly, grabbing Xiao by the hand with a slowly tugging mischief to the corner of his lips. “I think I’ll take my revenge sooner than later.”

Then Xiao was being led down the sidewalk, waves of curiosity and anticipation clogging his throat and leaving him to follow silently.

——

“You’re serious?”

“I wouldn’t have dragged you here if I wasn’t,” Venti said, a heady breath away, pinning Xiao to the brick behind him. “If you don’t want to, I won’t force it… I just— I’ve been thinking… about what you said that night,” he admitted, sending Xiao’s heart racing.

Currently, they were tucked away in a narrow alleyway, far from prying eyes. The moment they’d strayed from the sidewalk, Xiao was on high alert. One, because Liyue was one of the most protected cities – but even they had their slip ups – and two, because Venti walked with a purpose, prepared for something Xiao hadn’t keyed in on. Until now.

“This is what you got from that whole conversation?”

Venti’s eyes narrowed in a pout. “Of course that’s not all. I just thought since you offered, I could ‘ y’know ’— whenever I felt…” he trailed off, allowing a beat of silence, during which Xiao watched his eyes blink rapidly before looking down and away. “Ugh—! Nevermind.” He was quick to start scooting down the alley, back to the opening, but Xiao’s hand automatically reached out to snatch him back.

“ Wait ,” he hissed, pulling Venti right back in.

“ What ?” he hissed back, rolling his eyes, arms folding tight when he stood in front of Xiao again.

“I’m not saying you can’t… I’m just—” he hesitated, struggling to bring things up in this time and place, but ultimately sighing and steeling himself. “Don’t you think we should talk about what happened? I'm worried about you. You don’t normally act like that.” At least not around me.

Venti’s lips pulled up in a smile again in a heartbeat. “Worried about little ol’ me? I’m flattered, Xiao-ti, but don’t be. It was just a long day and I was being dramatic. It’s not a secret, and I didn’t mean to keep it. I just thought mulling over something small would be quite pathetic.” He shrugged, making Xiao scrutinize his face. 

If Venti was spinning a story, he couldn’t tell. Just to make sure, he slid his hand down into Venti’s, holding tightly. “It’s not dramatic to tell your best friend how you’re feeling, okay? It makes life a lot easier when you have someone to lean on. So, even if you don’t want to talk about it, just let me – and Carmen – know how you’re feeling.”

“Must you lecture me?”

“Whatever works.”

Venti huffed and swung their arms together for a moment before they went still again and he met his gaze. “Fine. If that’s the case, I’ve got something to say.”

“I’m listening.” At his words, like a light-switch, Venti's lips twisted into a teasing smile.

“Since I’ve been denied the immediate relief of a drink, I’d like somewhere ‘safe’ for my teeth to sink.”

Xiao sighed, grimacing lightly at Venti’s cheeky rhyme. Still, it wasn’t a no. He looked toward the mouth of the alley, seeing no one would be coming any time soon. If they did, they probably wouldn’t see much.

His eyes wavered back over Venti’s hopeful expression, remaining silent. Even though it’d been his idea to begin with, it was strange having Venti take up the offer so casually. But maybe that was Xiao’s problem. He should be viewing it as nothing; at most, it was a temporary coping mechanism.

Yet, his eyes clicked down to plump lips he’d felt wrap around his skin before, and the memory turned his face hot.

“I promise not to bite nearly as hard as I did last time. It took too much energy anyway and hurt my jaw.” Without thinking, he raised his other hand to cup Venti’s jaw and drew a giggle from the man. “It’s fine now! Like I said, a nibble at most. So… May I?”

Slowly, he nodded and tugged his jacket off to wrap around his waist, heart hammering behind his ribcage. Venti eyed him pointedly, even in the darkness of the alley. It ran his throat dry, but he did his best in pushing it down.

Just be natural, it doesn’t mean anything unless you make it mean something.

“Go ahead. Just don’t leave any marks—” he was cut off by Venti’s arms thrown around his and the sudden rush of jade that flooded his field of vision. Then, those mischievous eyes disappeared behind milky lids, his teeth attacked his cheek, and he felt a spike of regret as dull sets gnawed on him.

The happy humming was all that stopped his hands from instinctively pushing the other away, but he still grumbled, “Who said you could bite my face?!” Those teeth rose slightly, hopefully not leaving marks in their wake, and Venti giggled.

“You didn’t say I couldn’t either! I can kiss it better if you want?” He was still chuckling, but even Xiao’s stomach blushed at the offer.

So, on impulse, he snatched Venti around the waist and rolled them so that he was now against the wall. Their feet danced awkwardly together as he did so, causing Venti’s giggling to intensify, his smile full as his head rolled against the brick and brushed up his hair.

Xiao wasted little time on that, and instead leaned in to bite his cheek back, causing the others' laughter to mix into hilariously panicked yelps. “Xi-AO–! Ah-hahaha! Stop! Nngh!” He tried beating at his shoulders, but could hardly catch his breath, let alone his strength, to fight. “No—No fair!”

Xiao finally let go and opened his eyes to Venti’s teary ones, squinting back at him. An amused smile played at his lips, cheeks flushed from the struggle and— a very noticeable bite mark was left on his right cheek. 

Perhaps he didn’t have to know about that just yet.

“Y’know I was supposed to be biting you, right?”

“I never said I wouldn’t bite back.”

Venti gasped lightly in shock, but his ensuing laughter was new and fresh like a breeze across Xiao’s face. A joyous, gummy smile and messy hair had him wondering if things would be like this all the time if he’d allow it.

Don’t get him wrong, their friendship was the easiest he’d ever had. Being with Venti, whisked around in all of his whims, was probably the most free he’d allowed himself to be. Other than when dancing, where he got lost in the movements and stories he tried telling, Venti was one of the few things in his life that created such exhilarating chaos— from asking him for things with careless gluttony, to insisting he rest and take breaks no matter how much he really needed something. Trying to figure him out at times left Xiao wanting to pull his hair out, but his disarming smile just melted it all away into nothing and left him falling further.

And that was just it. He was falling further into… this. Whatever this was. With Venti, he felt such potent joy that he couldn’t untangle himself once ensnared; something genuine, beyond the brush of lust you could experience with anyone. He already knew he cared for Venti, he’d just mistakenly believed it wouldn’t take too much effort to ignore those feelings and put their friendship first.

Venti’s smile suddenly fell to a more quaint one, poking a finger between his brows and smoothing out the wrinkles. “Hey. You ok?” 

“Yeah… just thinking. What got you in the mood for day drinking in the first place?”

“Ah, must I have a reason?” Venti made an acknowledging noise, but leaned away from the wall to bury his head in Xiao’s neck. There, a pinching bite greeted Xiao, and he sighed at the short dance away from his question, until those teeth retracted and there was a murmur against his skin. “Truth be told, I don’t really like hospitals.”

“...But that wasn’t a— Ow!” He grunted when a peeved nip of teeth quickly — along with Venti’s narrowed gaze upon pulling his head back — shut him up. 

“'Hospital', 'Clinc', 'Medical-Setting'— Whatever you want to call it! I don’t like them.”

“Afraid of needles?”

Looking off to the side, Venti shook his head. “Not really, no. It’s just… it feels like something bad will happen. Like if you go in, you won’t come out.” A noticeable shiver rocked through him in Xiao’s hold, so the man elected to rub his arm, reassuringly sliding fingers against smooth skin.

“I don’t go in unless absolutely necessary! A flu-shot here, a check-up for work there, and that’s it! Other than that, you won't catch me dead in one.” His face wrinkled with his tongue spat out as if he were a child being forced to eat his vegetables; which, Xiao had no time to internally fawn over in his puzzlement.

His amber eyes blinked several times. “Then, why did you come today? This time doesn’t really tick-off the boxes.”

Venti’s lids lowered and his head tilted to the side, making his smirk lopsided. “Let’s just say it was ‘absolutely necessary,’ hm?” He hung back, letting his hand rest on the back of Xiao’s neck, fingers toying with the short strands there. “Besides, what if you’d passed out or something on the way here? Then where would you be? I’ve at least gotta be there for you half as much as you are for me.”

Xiao sighed out, immediately wishing to protest; though not really sure what to say besides ‘Your existence is enough’. So he was almost glad when Venti pressed a finger over his lips and shushed him, leaving him to grimace weirdly behind the appendage.

“Ah-ah, I won't hear any of it. Instead, I think it’s about time to leave this alley anyway, lest we get ourselves into something we can’t get ourselves out of.” Xiao nodded his agreement, looking around quickly to make sure they were still alone, before grabbing Venti’s hand to exit the alley and head back onto the sidewalk— blending in with the sea of passing folk and beginning a trek further downtown.

It was just as he remembered, same streets and sights; with the occasional new shop and unfamiliar vendors. The buildings were tall, even aside from those that scraped the sky; all of which sported the reds, yellows, oranges, and greens native to their culture. These colors exploded over the area, either in lights, large decos along otherwise blank brick walls, or the decorations wrapped around street-lights up and down the way.

Amidst all of it, looking to his side, he found that Venti didn’t quite fit the mold. His cool toned skin, eyes, and hair with clothes to match, left him sticking out like a sore thumb. Even so, his dazzling smile and eyes wide with wonder and curiosity reflected the warm hues of the city in a beautiful contrast that took Xiao’s breath away the longer he looked over. Until those eyes he felt comfortable watching from afar turned their light to him in a blinding show of excitement.

“So, where to first? The store or somewhere to grab lunch, maybe?”

He thought about it for a moment, glancing around the familiar streets to spark an interest in either. His eyes landed on a large neon sign with a flash of nostalgia, turning his plans on their head and raising the corner of his lip. “Actually, I think there’s somewhere you’d like a bit more— well, I want to show it to you, that is.”

“Hehe, then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” His laughter at the way Xiao picked up his pace suddenly, bobbing and weaving through the crowd, was music, and his excitement flourished next to Xiao’s, both of them suddenly weightless in their pursuit.

Chapter Text

Stepping out of the doctor's office, Venti could already feel the rush of city life around them, a different scene from Mondstadt’s small town feel. Weirdly enough, Liyue was much louder than his home, and not because of the abundance of noise alone. The city’s flashy designs and bustling scene left a buzz in the air that overshadowed the idle chatter of passersby.

From cars and foot traffic to the general vibrancy of each building spilling with color, everything was constant. Even the lights that decorated each block and building had their own deafening beauty and brilliance, burning hues of red, orange, and yellow into his irises like the blinding rays of the setting sun. The industrial city of contracts had busy streets and sidewalks alike, leaving the murmur of it all to come together in a unique and living melody. Each inhabitant was busy with their own life, their own story, as they hopped from shop to shop. 

A scene that was nothing like Mondstadt; a quaint village with a scarce population. It was a place where generations put down their roots, and few moved there for permanent residence, while visitors from abroad came briefly for work or school before departing once again. Its noise pollution was limited to the laughter of drunks and children, the playful yapping of dogs (strays and owned), and the occasional festival where all merriment to be had was on high. 

All of the aforementioned garnered Mondstadt the infamous status of being a ‘frat town’; even while being home to one of the best colleges in Teyvat. When attending said university, if one wanted to study, it was best to stay in the dorms. For, when one entered town, no logical thought was welcome, since it would do nothing but spoil a good drink or rowdy bash.

Now indoors, in a dark room dimly lit by purple UV lighting and carpet accented with glowing space designs — stars, rocket ships, and little aliens alike — Venti watched Xiao’s hair bob up beside him. With eight colorful arrows flashing underfoot, the music came shrill from the speakers before them. As all of the other beeps and boops of different arcade machines faded into the background, he smiled at the high, unwilling to catch his breath as they stepped together in quick-moving patterns that flew up the screen. 

The song was nearly at an end, and with how fluidly he and Xiao glided together across both sets of dance-pads, eyes set on the screen or each other, they were aiming to place on the leaderboard. They hadn’t needed to discuss it, just read each other's movements, did their best, and made sure to have fun; well, Venti hoped that was the case. It was hard to determine how serious Xiao was taking things when every move he made proved effortlessly poised.

All over again, Venti was reminded of how easy it was being with Xiao. Of course, it would never touch the closeness he had with Carti, but it was pretty close; more than what he’d felt like with his other – still dear – friends. With Xiao dancing with him, he felt his anxiety drip away with the sweat.

Unfortunately, a nibble at Xiao here and there hadn’t quelled all of his fears the way he had hoped. Painting white lies along an alley wall hadn’t helped either. It wasn’t his intention to lie, but he blamed Xiao for being so sharp. It was easier to do than blaming himself for having something to hide in the first place. It wouldn’t stay a secret for long, so he convinced himself that in the meantime, things were fine this way. That was later, and that’s when he would worry. 

Here, he’d relish in the way Xiao picked him up as instructed by the icons across the screen, swinging him around both dance-pads. Venti spread his arms, a dramatic bird in flight, until they were back on their own to continue dancing individually. They performed and let the world disappear around them until they were bowing to each other when the song ended.

That’s when Venti promptly keeled over, leaning against the metal handle behind them to pant loudly whilst catching his breath. His arms barely hooked around it, his shoulders carrying most of his weight as his head tilted back and his legs idled on the inactive platforms.

“I’m surprised you made it through the whole song,” Xiao said.

His eyes rolled behind heavy lids, and he lazily swatted his wrist at him. “Xiao– what little faith you have in me,” he huffed up into the air. “Lucky for you, I’ll settle for this flattery. Since you have time to jest… Tell me, was our score the best?”

A short and amused scoff left the other's nose. “Close, but no cigar.”

At this, his head lifted in disbelief. He’d given his all to this machine and seen the way Xiao moved, but they still hadn’t gotten first?! “You’re kidding! Second place!? Who is here creating more synergy than us?”

“We did fairly well. We were only off by a few points.” Words sang of reassurance and understanding, but the flute played sudden requiems. Dripping with mournful sadness, his tone took Venti’s attention over to where amber eyes glazed while staring at the initials ‘HTX’ a little too intensely. Though the emotions there were on full display, it didn’t seem Xiao would talk about it just yet, so he shut out that sad tune and focused on the lyrics.

He turned his gaze back away and allowed a beat of silence before shifting topics. “So, you came here a lot back in the day, right? Is this like… your secret hiding spot?” His teasing thankfully pulled the other back to the present, the younger scoffing before shuffling closer to Venti and sitting to rest alongside him.

“Sort of. I didn’t come to hide, but this is where I spent most of my free time. When I needed a break from studying, I’d come here.”

“And this was your game of choice?” he asks, glancing in the dancer’s direction. “Makes sense.”

There was the hint of a smile on stubborn lips. “I know most of these songs by heart.”

At this small confession, jade eyes tried not to click back to the initials in the first place slot. “If that’s the case, it wouldn’t happen to be my fault we didn’t get first, would it?”

“Beats me.” Timbre laughter drew Venti’s head to his shoulder, relaxing into their idle chatter. Looking at the younger male sitting with his hands dangled by the wrist, bent knees spread lazy and supporting it, he noticed his head leaned back as well, just as relaxed. Good. 

“I think you did pretty well. Maybe I’m just out of practice,” said Xiao.

Venti, in turn, shook his head nihilistically. Even in an attempt to spare his feelings, he just wouldn’t accept that. “With all of the dancing you do?! As if.”

“Sure, it can happen; my specialty lies with traditional dance anyhow. DDR lacks the flowing movements I’m used to practicing. Instead, every move is calculated to hit one specific spot, punctuating each movement and gearing up to move again almost immediately to the patterns on the screen; and sometimes not even to the beat…” Ah, I’ve got him talking now. He smiled discreetly into the fold of his jacket, which he had finally put on after one sneeze had alerted Xiao that he was cold. At least now he could cover up his content expression as he watched Xiao’s mood steer toward something lighter.

“...When I’m on a stage, I’m my own director. I decide when and how to move my body. Sometimes, I can depend on gravity to carry me where I need to be; to evoke something in my bones that pulls my performance together, even when I feel I’ve misstepped or made an error while counting.” His gaze fell, but unlike himself, he couldn’t hide the small uptick of his lips, smiling down at nothing with warm honey. “The way I rack up points, whether I deserve them or not, can’t be compared to the fixed notions of a machine; they’re not so easily earned. Yet, even though it’s harder to perfect, when I dance, it feels like I’m doing it for a reason. I… I don’t know how to describe the feeling.”

Hearing his mystified pause, Venti inwardly stumbled for ideas, not wanting Xiao’s light to be shrouded. “Does it feel like… a breath of fresh air after having your head underwater?” he asked hopefully.

He nodded. “Yeah. Like the wind is rushing into my lungs, filling me up even when I feel like I can’t move anymore.”

“Does it feel like something’s possessing you? Something that makes you lose yourself in the moment? Does it give you goosebumps when it’s all over?” Hm, that doesn’t sound quite right, but it made Xiao nod anyway, levity on the edge of his lips. 

“With every move, until the curtains have closed, the world disappears and it’s just me and the song. And, if I didn’t need to stop…” He trailed off and shrugged listlessly, finally scooting his limbs in to tuck his knees to his chest and fold his arms there. He buried his face so that nothing was seen but the wistful wisps of his eyelashes and that glimmering wonder in his eyes. “Who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t.”

His last note did Venti in, his posterior finally landing on the metal dance-pad, legs falling into a crisscrossed position. Archons… He couldn’t tell what was so daunting about Xiao’s confessions, each of them a beautiful declaration, and with each he felt his being vibrate with familiarity, screaming, ‘Me too! I know that feeling! I want to feel that again!’

Alas, it didn’t bring that same mirth. However, at the other end of the spectrum, there was a cluster of emotions he couldn’t place — a certain sadness that made him latch onto the brilliance still flooding Xiao’s eyes. 

He wanted to see Xiao happy, he really did. Watching him get lost in his own head, enjoying future prospects, while straying far away from where they sat together in the present. But it all suddenly felt so… vexing?

Part of him wanted to reach out, put his asinine emotions to rest, and— and do what?

He pouted to himself, his thoughts tracing back to that night . Back to how uncomfortable Xiao seemed when he'd come too close. But in the same couple of minutes, he'd allowed it. Like it was just as easy for him to be touched by Venti as it was for Venti to find his hands drawn back around Xiao. Even in the alley, both seemed to coexist, and they’d had fun. 

Well, at least he had.

Was he forcing this? What if Xiao felt like he had to compromise just to appease him? What about the part of me that's ok with that?  

Internally, he groaned, wishing to drown these complicated thoughts out with a nice, hard cider. There was no point thinking about things like this anyway. As long as they decided things were fine, they were.

Maybe I’m just nervous. Yeah, maybe that was it. Afterall, stability at the apartment after today was going to be… questionable at best. It wasn't like Venti was doing any of it to hurt anyone, but everyone was going to take it differently, including himself. Thankfully, the alcohol would be there to get rid of some of the sting—

"What are you thinking about?" Xiao’s swift timbre hummed over his ears and Venti managed a smile. Looking over, he saw that most traces of that spark he was agonizing over were gone and the other man looked on with a fine brow arched up.

Heh. I ruined it anyway. Oh, well. He shook his head, refusing to lament, and smiled brighter, hoping to block words unspoken behind his teeth. 

“Just thinking that if you love it that much, you should never stop. Which reminds me…” He promptly plopped his hand onto Xiao’s head to ruffle his hair. Waves of emotions flooded Xiao’s expression, while he desperately tried to disentangle Venti’s slim fingers. His soft complaints — just like the pressing feeling that he shouldn’t be pushing his luck — Venti chose to ignore. 

“Congratulations again, Mr. Lead-Role! How’s rehearsal going?”

Xiao groaned; attention effectively diverted. “Nowhere really. I’m still taking care of things with the new dancers, and auditions are still being held for the lead. I’ve memorized the script already, but I’m hoping they can find someone more qualified before things get serious.”

His lips spread teasingly. “Aw, but I’d like to see you act! I could even help you run lines, if you wanted.” 

Too quickly, Xiao was shaking his head, almost immediately beginning to stand back up. “If all goes well, I won’t be needing any help— Thanks for the offer though,” he squeezed in before changing the subject to avoid the push back that bubbled on Venti’s lips. “Are you ready to go again?”

Venti took an incredulous look at the handheld out for him, glancing to his still crisscrossed and jellied legs, and back up again. “Xiao… I’m not gonna be able to walk anymore if we keep going at it like this.” There was a beat and Xiao’s hand was still held out, unwavering. “I don’t suppose you plan on carrying me, do you?” He blinked his annoyance with a pout.

“If that’s what you need.”

Warmth was sewn into his chest and stemmed from the pit of his stomach, reaching all the way up to bloom in his throat with earnest. He smiled before he was ready, twisting it to try and hide his fondness, but Xiao’s own peeking smile, under glowing violet lights, put it on a hundred anyway.

Slipping his hand in the other’s, Venti was easily lifted to his feet, where immediately he whined at the buckling of his knees while Xiao held him fast. “Ah—! …On second thought, go on without me.”

“And invoke Carmen’s wrath? Not a chance. Speaking of which.” Once Xiao seemed sure he wouldn’t crumble to the floor, he let go to dig out some tokens for the machine. “We should bring him next time. This might not be his scene, but I think he’d appreciate the invite.”

A great idea! part of him thought. Carti needed a break anyway, and he’d love to co-op with him on the zombie shooting game they had. More than that, he was thankful that the positive part of him allowed him to nod and ignore the sudden lump he felt settle in his throat, suffocating that warm Cecilia.

He’d love to have his brother here, and would love to spend more time with him. But he couldn’t deny that he wanted this to stay a place Xiao shared only with him.

Oh well. The more the merrier.

“I’ll shoot him a text and ask.”

Xiao gave a perplexed look over his shoulder. “Why not just wait until later tonight? He’s working.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he quickly waved him off, already flicking his thumb across his screen, looking for their messages. Work—Shmerk. Carti can find time to answer a simple text. He continued scrolling. It’d been a surprisingly long time since they messaged each other outside of their ‘Roomies’ group-chat.

On the way, not knowing what compelled him, he spotted Lisa’s contact in his recents and clicked it, reading over their last message again. And, again, he chocked it up to his waxing and waning anxiety. Truly, he was grateful Xiao would at least be there when she stopped by later— 

His eyes blinked owlishly at the message, zeroing in on their agreed meeting time. The moon came to full all at once as the current time struck him. Then his heart pounded and he nearly dropped his phone with how quickly he snatched the back of Xiao’s shirt with his hands.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” The man asked calmly as he gripped the back of his shirt, tugging harshly and exposing skin while he tried to get his mouth to move. Oh archons, why was it so hard to say something so simple?!

“Go… we’ve– we’ve gotta go!”

Xiao, again too calmly, pulled out his phone to look at it while Venti’s feet began marching in place; despite the soreness still there. “It’s only half past two. What’s wrong?”

“L-Lisa… s…she—!” he stuttered, each syllable accompanied by distressed panting. Fuck! Breathe Venti, breathe!

“You’ve got to meet her at 8:00, right?” Before he’d even finished, Venti was shaking his head and frantically tossing his braids around his face.

“3:00! She said three! I mixed up the numbers! I-I must have had my finger over the message or something, but I– I don’t know—!” His teary eyes scanned for an exit as the word vomit overflowed, wracking his form. The bus out had been at least an hour. There wasn’t any time! Gods, where even were they?

He let his phone slide from his shaking hands when Xiao grabbed for it to look at the messages, squinting at them as they lit up his disbelieving expression until it turned calculative. In the next minute there were no words, only Xiao’s hand clutching his to start jogging out of the arcade at top speed—

—which only worked a couple of steps before Venti’s calf clenched painfully and took him to the floor. Still, no sooner than he hit the ground, he was hoisted up under Xiao’s arm with a yelp. His limbs slacked and he blinked to himself as the ground below changed from a dark outer space theme to solid concrete, Xiao’s feet flying the whole way.

Towed as if he weighed nothing, Venti thought maybe if his legs had been cooperating, he’d probably have managed some excitement at having been swept off his feet and — as if he were the Princess Peach to Xiao’s Bowser — spirited away. Alas, in his distress, he was just grateful for his slim body type and Xiao’s muscular build working in their favor to allow the unlocking of ‘fast travel’.

Too soon, Xiao was placing him down— too soon for them to have reached the bus stop, Venti thought. When he righted himself, shaking out his leg, he looked up to find Xiao paying a meter for a bike, flipping up the brake and handing him the single helmet. He took it when prompted, but he still stood awkwardly, eyeing Xiao like he’d grown another head. 

“You can’t be ser— It was an hour by bus! There’s no telling how far it will be! And who’s gonna bring this bike back?!” Voice raising in pitch, he gripped the helmet in both hands between himself and the dancer. Xiao’s only response was to swing his leg over the gaudy green and yellow bike. His eyes pointed at him sharply, unphased as Venti remained in place.

“A bus stops, a bike doesn’t have to. This way, we’ll make it. You only have two options. Either get on or be late.”

The blunt ultimatum made him run in place stubbornly, whining openly and causing those on the sidewalk to side eye them. “Ugh! Fine!” Disgruntled, he plopped on the helmet and buckled it quickly under his chin. “At least let me bring it back when we’re done with it…” 

“I can do it—”

“I don’t care that you can do it. I wanna bring it back!”

“But—!”

“No buts!” He hopped up onto the back, hands gripping Xiao’s shoulders while he stood precariously on the foot pegs sticking out of the wheel. And no, he definitely wasn’t secretly happy about getting to ride a bike the way he’d seen in anime and k-dramas before. “Let’s go!”

Xiao sighed loudly and walked the bike forward a bit before getting the momentum he needed to ride them both along without any issues. With Xiao’s dancer legs, they were well on their way, and despite all stubbornness and arguments, a smile grew quickly across Venti’s face as they rode through the streets of Liyue.

It was all fun and games as he tilted his head parallel to the clouds, until he felt a bead of liquid flick his nose, and he opened his dreamy stare to a graying sky.

“Honestly,” Lisa huffed, sitting straight in their lone loveseat and glaring at both of them from across the way. The air around her crackled with enough electricity to lift her long ponytail off of her shoulder. The writer next to Xiao tried to seem unbothered, but his awkward chuckle and shaking form betrayed his smile, which lay plastered on under her critical stare. “To think you ended up towns away hours before our meeting, dallied around as if you had nowhere to be, and had the audacity to still show your face an hour late without texting me.” 

“I sat in that parking garage far too long for my liking, waiting for a keycode that didn’t come. Not to mention, your garbage situation by the dumpsters is atrocious! My nostrils still sting.”

From Lisa’s recount, Xiao would have had the decency to feel bad. Would have, if not for their sorry state. “I could have told you it was going to rain. It’s been all over the news. You’re lucky the both of you look so pitiful. It’s just not fair to kick you while you’re down.” She sighed stubbornly; one leg crossed tightly over the other. She crossed her arms in the same manner under her well-endowed chest— which Xiao looked away from in an instant to focus on Venti.   

The two of them shared a glance like scolded children. Xiao’s fingers were interlocked between spread legs, while Venti huddled next to him with his knees to his chest and arms wrapped around them, shivering. Both remained soaking wet from the downpour, being forced to drench the couch as well. Her interrogation began in the garage, continued up the elevator, and was only truly unleashed once they had sat down.

Venti hadn’t necessarily been wrong to fear her wrath. He could tell the writer’s trembling was not only caused by the cold, but also the threatening stare of the editor herself. So, Xiao made an attempt at redirecting her attention. “We appreciate you being so lenient with us. The meeting time slipped our minds, what with my doctor’s appointment—”

Before he could even finish, her hand waved to tut, then fell to support her cheek, almost in a caressing manner. “Oh, no. I’m not blaming you, cutie. We’ve been waiting for you to get checked out for a while now. Everything went well, I trust?”

He tried not to flush as her gaze did a harsh 180 from trying to pierce him to warmly looking him up and down. The corners of her lips curled into a kind smile, but her tone tended toward the… sultry side. Honestly, he didn’t know what to make of it, and just hoped whatever attention she was giving him would allow Venti room to relax. So, he chose not to comment.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Thankfully it’s nothing serious. I wasn’t aware Venti spoke to his editor about things like that. I’m grateful for your concern.” He glanced at said man, only to find him looking back, attentive jade nearly making his heart climb into his throat.

“Editor? Is that all he’s told you I am? Well, color me offended,” she laughed.

Venti gave his own uneasy laugh. “My deepest apologies.” He then looks back to Xiao while gesturing to her with a damp hand. “Lisa’s been a good friend of mine since high school. She was a pretty big chem nerd back then, even with the sea of people who were throwing themselves her way, and the clique of friends she stuck close to. I was ever the extrovert, and she was always looking for new guinea pigs for her experiments. So, one thing led to another; I was failing math and was swiftly referred to her by a ‘mutual’. She got a test subject, and I got exclusive one-on-one tutoring time with the Lisa. We’ve kind of made it a habit of scratching each other's backs ever since.”

“That’s right,” she confirmed with a nod, smiling gently before her eye level lowered, catching and holding Xiao’s, “and I was his first kiss.”

“Wh–?!” Xiao was suddenly thankful for their lack of hospitality. If he had a drink, it would have ended up spraying from him and coating the coffee table in a startled mist. Instead, he gaped like a fish while Venti cut his eyes swiftly at the woman, and dipped those teal braids side to side with a roll of his eyes. “My first kiss from a girl. Don’t make it sound like I didn’t have any game before you!”

She was suddenly back to her gentle teasing, fingertips covering her lips politely, though Xiao knew she was smiling. “Oh? I wasn’t aware you had any, since you had to ask little ol’ me for a kiss.” Xiao found himself looking back and forth between them as his friend’s cheeks puffed, turning him all manner of frustrated hues.

“You were the hottest girl in our grade! I figured, if kissing you made me want to die, then kissing any other girl would suck just as well, if not worse!” He turned his attention to Xiao cheekily, an off-putting disquiet to the bat of his lashes. “Obviously, we know how that turned out.”

Subconsciously he nodded, but his gaze drifted back to that woman’s lips, finding offense with how plump they seemed underneath lipstick and liner. They’d experienced Venti in a completely different way, and even for experimental purposes, their lips had intertwined in ways Xiao could only fantasize about…

Over, and over, and over again.

“Besides,” Venti folded his arms, seeming to withstand the uncomfortable cold of wet sleeves while staring Lisa down. “I wasn’t the only one in need of a little experimenting in that department, from what I remember. It’s not my fault you came out on the other side with more questions than answers.”

All coy smiles and eye rolls, she went along with Venti’s childish squaring up. “No, of course it’s not your fault. In fact, it was due to your great efforts that it became clear that more questions was a good enough answer in itself.” She sighed pointedly at the watch on her wrist. “Speaking of which, we should move things along. I’ve got dinner plans to keep, and if I’m in the middle of your manuscript when time comes for me to part, I simply won't be leaving with it.”

Venti rolled his eyes, getting up to pull the printed copy from his bag. “I’m sure she would wait a lifetime for you. Besides, you read pretty quickly and the end is the only part you haven’t read through, anyway,” he said, handing the impressively stacked binder to her while she reached into her—… Xiao withdrew his gaze as she casually took a red pen from her cleavage, hearing the two giggling at him, but he refused to turn back until Venti tapped and encouraged him to go get changed.

With how uncomfortable his wet pants ran together, and against the couch, he didn’t refuse, and quickly excused himself to do just that.

 He found Lisa to be… strange, but not at all as malevolent as Venti made her out to be. Usually, when she came to get his manuscript, Xiao was at work. During all of her visits, Venti had remained intact. With that in mind, he trusted her not to throttle Venti while he stepped out.

Most likely, they would be busy for a while, and convincing Venti to change while Lisa read the work he slaved over was a non-starter, so he opted to take a hot shower. The cold had been bearable with Venti clinging to him, but that ceased when he stood and lured him to the bathroom with a towel in hand.

Yes, the shower. Where he would find peace and relaxation for his aching muscles. This was certainly true. However, his mind had other plans as he recounted the day’s events, scrubbing the chill from his bones. 

Being in the place he usually allowed his thoughts to run wild with Venti, his mind went just there, becoming Venti-Central. He thought back on lingering memories of how arms fitted around him a majority of the day, if his own weren’t wrapped around a slim wrist or waist first… The smell of apples and floral fragrance drifting from him… The skin that peaked from his crop-top… The way their bodies moved in sync while dancing to one of his old favorites…

He sighed in his longing, feeling like a teen just back from a first date. He hoped it wouldn’t always feel like this — special and worthwhile. Otherwise, it would spell trouble for him soon enough, and their living situation would be even more short-lived than he kept fearing. 

Still, simultaneously, forcefully locked down within, he secretly wished it would always be like this. He’d be lying if he said he wanted it to come to an end. But the more he enjoyed himself, and the closer he became to Venti, the more he put their friendship on the line.

Frustration overlapping those happy memories, he gave another deep sigh and leaned forward, letting the water trickle down his head, lick his eyelashes, and dribble off his parted lips. His hand lingered precariously low to indulge himself as he usually would, rocking his hips to the imaginative sound of Venti crying out his name; images of kiss-bitten lips, flushed cheeks, and moans bouncing around his skull. 

Abruptly, he stopped, reminded that Lisa was here and would be for a while yet. He hadn’t let anyone know he’d be in the shower, and those two seemed to have much in common, one of them being a streak of mischief that included putting people through grief. Who knew what they’d pull if the reading process finished early, and Xiao wasn’t back, lost in the throws of passion behind fogged shower glass?

I’m not nearly that pent up anyway, it can wait. Instead, he flipped the switch to cold, allowing himself to cool down, shock any of those fervent thoughts away, and finish his shower before hopping out. 

The waist-band of his pajama bottoms had just snapped onto his skin when he heard Lisa scream from the living room, loud and with all sorts of negative connotations. He whipped the towel over his shoulder, not bothering with a shirt, and stumbled out. Slipping occasionally on the linoleum he wet with each step, he appeared behind the couch he left Venti to sit on, spotting Lisa across the way, fuming.

Lisa, too, sat in her same seat, eyes a crazy combination of wide and glaring at Venti while fisting her pen dangerously, the force of her grip threatening to snap the poor thing. Newly donned reading glasses bridged her nose, and the binder sat on the coffee table, flipped to the final page of Venti’s manuscript.

Meanwhile, Venti snickered softly from his crisscrossed position. “I see you underestimated me yet again, my lady! Seems I’ve reduced you to nothing but a crybaby. Happy endings are nothing but a bore, with this, all of the profits will surely soar!”

Lisa’s gritted teeth suddenly bore a smile, betrayed by her shaking hand still gripping her pen. She let Xiao know his appearance didn’t go unnoticed with her next words as she threatened to rise from her seat. “Xiao, be a dear and get this little minx before I get my hands on him. I’d hate to have you attending his funeral so soon.”

“Eep!” Said minx was sprinting behind him before Xiao even had the chance to defend him, and gripped his slick arm, using him as a shield while hiding there. From over his shoulder, he called out to the woman who drew near, “You should be proud of me! I took your advice and made it more captivating! ‘Sacrifices must be made to ensure success,’ isn’t that what you said!?”

“Yes, and as your publisher and editor, I’m very proud of you!” And she looked it, too, until her tone darkened and grass blade eyes looked able to cut them both in twain. “However, as a loyal reader, I require your head from your shoulders as compensation.”

Peaked by the threat, he shifted Venti away from her with the arm the man still clutched, the man nervously giggling in Xiao’s ear. The manuscript had appeared fine the last time he saw it. Nothing was included to justify Lisa’s response. Perhaps Venti added something right before? 

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure it’s not something to kill a friend and client over.”

Her steps paused with her glare centering on him. “Have you read it?”

“...Yes?” he hesitantly asked, looking over his shoulder where Venti shrunk guiltily.

“Um… Well, I tweaked a few minor things…”

“Azdaha cheats on Dvalin,” Lisa stated gravely and even Xiao’s mouth dropped. The same Azdaha who fought for their union to begin with against his father’s wishes?! That couldn’t be!  

Lisa must have seen his dismay, because she continued fueling the fire. “He betrays their matrimony with some peasant boy who helped them earlier in the book, and Dvalin finds them tangled together in their bed. Then,” Oh, the poor pen bent. Xiao felt the need to back up with Venti out of arm's reach as her electric energy peaked oppressively. 

“That’s where it ends!”

Xiao’s eyes widened. In seconds, he spun on the writer, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. “That’s where it ends!?”

Wobbling and pleading noises flew out of Venti as he was shaken back and forth. “Not you, too~! You’re supposed to protect me Xiao-ti—!”

“—And you were supposed to write that story with a happy ending! It was supposed to have a moral at the end about love conquering all!”

“But everyone’s done that! It’s so generic and sappy, it needed something more! ‘More’ I tell you!”

Xiao continued shaking the man in place, watching him become dizzy with clenched teeth. “Cheating is not a spice you can just sprinkle onto a couple who had no previous issues up until that point!”

“Though, oftentimes, a little cheating goes a long way…” Lisa’s sudden, understanding input made Xiao look back at her incredulously. “What? Never been cheated on before? It happens more often than you think.”

He didn’t have the experience to negate that, but he felt like retaliating anyway. Whose side was she on? The moment he turned on her to do just that, Venti used that window of opportunity to slip from his grasp, quickly creating some distance between himself and them.

“Right? It’s just more realistic this way. Not every relationship goes over smoothly. I won't apologize for taking my story where it needed to go to reach its maximum potential.”

Lisa huffed, flicking a stray hair from her face and discarding her reading glasses, tucking the temple into her shirt. “All I know is you’d better have started on the next book already, otherwise you’re in for a bruising.” Xiao could tell she was dead serious by the way she rolled her sleeves up.

They both waited for Venti’s confirmation, but the writer grew eerily quiet, the sound of raindrops hitting the window becoming overpowering. Xiao looked to find his expression dropped, drastically morphing into that smile made to hide that Xiao was beginning to detest the more he saw it. “Um… well, no I don’t have anything else written—"

Lisa rolled her eyes, openly mocking, " Um… well, when are you planning to? You've got to let me know as soon as you—"

"No-no, I- um…” Venti’s hands shot up in front of him in an interesting tango between offense and defense, slim fingers curling awkward and unsure. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that…"

Surprised, Lisa’s expression brightened. “Oh, it’s not like you to be proactive about your next move—!”

“I wouldn’t call it a move..." he trailed off, catching Xiao's eyes, then decisively rolling them away, pursing his lips. 

Xiao blinked to himself, wondering just what was going on in that head of his that had made him so hesitant.

Of course, Lisa didn’t seem to pick up on the unsavory atmosphere, her pen clicking absently while Venti spoke, before stopping with the drop in volume. "What was that? I didn't catch that."

"...I was just thinking– y’know – I was pretty quick about writing my novel… so, maybe I should take a break? A hiatus of sorts…" Venti trailed off again, refusing to meet either of their eyes while those hands began twisting idle and shaky fingers together. And…

Oh. Oh no. Xiao could already feel his teeth grinding as he began to fit the pieces together, images of a painting obscuring his vision in milliseconds before disappearing like flashes of lightning.

"Sounds reasonable,” Lisa nodded, still none-the-wiser. “We might have some book events going on and what not anyway. I'm sure your readers would understand. You're going to be overwhelmed, after all! People have been waiting for this since the PR live at the mid-year book release! Not to mention all of the ads we ran on social media.” At those words, Venti flinched, and if Xiao was correct, he could see why. Every comment of expectation must have felt like salt in the wound. 

“So.” Lisa smiled politely, excited even, taking out a small notepad to write on. A schedule or planner? Xiao couldn’t tell. “How long of a break are we talking?"

Again, she was met with silence, and the air solidified between the three of them. Xiao could barely breathe, watching Venti for an answer; and the other wouldn’t look at him. He tried catching jade eyes, but they were quick to turn, roll, and hide under long lashes to evade him.

Suddenly, the day's events were beginning to make sense. The doctor’s office. The unprompted soothing session in the alley. His near panic attack upon re-reading Lisa’s message. His distant gaze when they sat talking together. 

He'd probably known better than anyone how this meeting would play out. It was never about being late. It was about this.

Before he even registered it himself, he was moving over to Venti, sliding his hands down Venti’s arms to catch his hands. He stopped his fidgeting to massage the back of them with his thumbs. They shook subtly in his grasp as he did so, and Xiao clicked his tongue, tempering his frustration. "There’s not going to be a second book… is there?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

The silence was deafening, save for the sound of rain against the window, coupled with the occasional booming of thunder. Venti still made no attempt to look at them, but Xiao could feel the hold on his hands tightening, pleading with him to stay and anchor his quivering vessel.

Lisa’s voice drifted in from behind him, a nurturing tone Xiao hadn’t expected greeting him when she spoke, "When you said 'a bit of a break…'?" Her voice dripped onto the linoleum and into the air, unfinished and soft, but still too loud. 

Her question was so piercingly loud, it urged Xiao to snap on the woman, wanting to shut her up any way he could just to release the tension it brought to Venti’s shoulders.

"I meant indefinitely."

Chapter Text

Another half hour later, Lisa was gone. 

Xiao hated to do it, but he’d left Venti to sort things out with her on his own. It was no longer his place to get between them, since it seemed they had a lot to discuss, and from Lisa's understanding response and expression, Xiao was confident she wouldn't do anything rash.

Besides, after throwing on a shirt, he’d stepped into the open kitchen where there was only an aisle between them. If anything had happened, he'd be able to step in. Other than that, being nosy wasn’t his scene. If he could avoid it, he would. So he made a show of putting his earbuds in and cranked up his music while he figured out dinner with their sparse ingredients.

As far as cooking went, with their missed trip to the grocery store, he found himself Frankensteining something that he deemed edible from freshly made rice and leftovers from the fridge. Nothing special. By the time the rice was set in the cooker and all of the ingredients were pulled out, he finally allowed himself to survey the living room once again.

Which — upon first glance — he found empty.

Taking out an earbud, he listened for any signs of life, though it seemed all conversation had ceased. Lisa nor Venti were anywhere to be seen. Safe to say, if he couldn’t hear the woman's sultry tone christening the space, she had already gone home. 

Curiously, Xiao leaned over the aisle, looking around for his roommate. It took a moment to adjust to the dim light, but he finally spotted Venti, and the sight nearly sent his crushed soul spiraling toward the abyss.

By the door, crouched down in a ball, Venti sat with his face buried in his arms, making no sound and barely moving. With the rain still beating outside, the monochrome sight shrouded the light that Venti notoriously exuded. Now it was a pale, diminished flicker.

Throat tightening, he wondered how long the man had been there, and — more importantly — why? If he interrupted him now, what could he do? Was there anything he could do for him? Whatever the case, he knew he couldn’t leave Venti to crumble on the floor by himself.

Hesitantly, he called out, “Venti…” A raspy but trying utterance of his name. One that the lump didn't respond to, sitting ever still.

His heart slowed, already assuming the worst. 

“Venti!” he raised his voice, cringing at the jarring echo that followed. So much for calm and collected.

At this, Venti’s head shot up, whipping his braids across his face as his wide eyes found Xiao across the room. Xiao felt just as shocked as Venti looked, but schooled it in to clear his throat.

“Sorry, um—”

“No, no— It’s fine!” Venti, quick to get up, cleared his throat and fixed his wet clothes around his form. “You said something right? I didn’t really catch it, but I got that much. Sorry. I think Lisa’s visit took more out of me than expected. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Xiao could see the smile was forced, but it was free of the typical sing-songy rhyming he’d grown accustomed to when Venti was bottling things up. 

With that in mind, he granted Venti the benefit of the doubt. As a result, his mind began to race for different ‘in’s, seeing now that Venti’s barrier may have finally rotated its guard.

Ask if he wants to talk about it! 

Ask why he did it! 

Be there for him! 

His thoughts screamed at him in a myriad of frenzied desires. Wanting to help, wanting to dive deeper, seeking Venti’s truth… Something he didn’t know if he deserved as he stared into those waiting jade eyes, watching Venti’s soft, forced smile begin to wane.

Finally, Xiao shook his head and offered up a small, forced smile of his own, allowing his guard to fill the space that Venti’s left behind. “Don’t worry about it. I was just wondering if you were cold. Your clothes are still sticking to your skin.”

Venti twisted one damp braid around his finger coyly, and — as if on cue — the middle of his face scrunched up so his eyes were barely visible. His mouth opened wide to let out a squeaky, “ Achoo!” that forced his body to jerk.

Then, standing there with a nose beginning to drip, like a child whose blatant lie had been found out, Venti whined, disgruntled — a fair indication that the sneeze hurtled through his body just as powerfully as it echoed off of the walls.

Xiao’s smile grew a genuine up-tick. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He swiftly jutted his chin over to the hall. “Hurry up and get out of those before you catch a cold. While you’re at it, take a warm shower. Dinner should be ready by the time you get out.”

Venti was already padding away before he’d finished, giving a mock, stuffy, “Yes, mom,” before disappearing and leaving a wet-sock trail, and Xiao, behind. This allowed the troubled man to withdraw into his thoughts.

Thoughts that beat him over the head with alternate scenarios that should have happened instead. Thoughts that involved him rounding the aisle to hug Venti close, make him tea, and invite him to sit on the couch to talk. 

…Coward…Wimp…Fool… These words floated around in his head and forced a sigh from him. He returned to cutting up veggies for dinner.

No matter how much he wanted solid answers from Venti, Xiao found himself hung up on the idea that he might push too hard. What if he did and the whole operation backfired, ruining any semblance of openness they already shared? The hiding hurt, sure, but losing the trust of his best friend completely would really do him in.

Xiao liked his privacy just as much as the next person, and he was no stranger to keeping information close to his chest. He’d only learned to share more of himself from others — Venti included — and even then, there were topics he’d rather not discuss. Empathizing with the other’s private nature wasn't the hard part. Fighting the selfish part of himself that was Venti’s best friend, that loved him and wanted to know him, was the part proving to be the most difficult.

He sighed, tuning back into his music to drown out the cyclical train of thought tossing him around.

Even his regular playlist of melancholy songs seemed too upbeat. Each energetic note left him feeling restless, until he was forced to flick from song to song. Several hours worth of songs didn’t even begin to touch upon the series of emotions blowing through him. In the eye of the storm that was his current predicament, he was alone. An isolated phenomenon. 

Unsatisfied, he settled on something without lyrics, and got back to the task at hand. Dinner. Though the 'Universal Peace' wasn’t Venti’s favorite dish, because the poor boy just wouldn’t eat his vegetables, Xiao wasn’t left with much choice. 

All of the cooking was done rather quickly, and Xiao was even able to boil some eggs for some added protein. Still, the dish's delightful, cookie-cutter shape and color wasn't reading the room, and Xiao didn’t want any perceived insincerity to add onto an already shot day. He couldn’t do anything about the ingredients, but maybe a less boring shape would do the trick?

There was already a dome shape going with the berries and rice, so he rolled up his sleeves and took it a step further, sculpting the mass between his palms until it shifted height. Trying to maintain its roundness, he cupped his hands over the top, creating two humps. Then, he took a stalk of lotus stem and placed it between them. It was more grueling than he’d anticipated, since the fruits and vegetables were then poked out randomly, contorting its form until Xiao could smooth them back in.

He was just beginning to regret the meal altogether when two arms came to wrap around his waist, a mass landing on his spine before he felt the telltale signs of freshly washed hair dampening the back of his shirt. 

At least dry it properly, he thought fondly to himself as he did nothing to stop Venti from resting there.

“S’dinner ready?” Venti asked with a lazy drawl, cuddling closer.

“Mostly.” Adding the last of the seasoning to the top, a sprinkling of sesame seeds, and more decorative slivers of lotus and egg, Xiao finished up and asked Venti for the bowls.

Reluctantly, hands slid from his form, and the bowls were swiftly drawn from their cabinet. The clinking on the counter spoke to Venti’s quick retrieval, and his head popped back next to Xiao’s in seconds.

“So…" his tone dripped with something that raised Xiao’s brow in suspicion. "What’s this?”

“A disemboweled bowl of rice, stuffed with lopped off lotus heads, and decorated with spliced carrots and the lotus’ dismembered limbs.”

“So, a good ol’ Universal Peace dish?”

“That’s what I said,” Xiao deadpanned, earning a nudge from Venti as the older giggled next to him. It clipped off quickly, but Xiao was glad to hear him laughing even a little bit. Maybe that shower had been more beneficial than just chasing the chill away.

“What’s it… supposed to look like?” Xiao felt a sting of embarrassment shoot through his chest that he hid by clearing his throat.

“What do you think it looks like?” Surely it can’t be that bad.

Venti went quiet, stroking his chin while Xiao sat nervously, flicking his eyes between Venti’s expression and the questionably shaped food.

Finally, his lips parted, asking Xiao, “Is it a heart?”

Though disappointed, Xiao looked over the food and sighed, seeing the resemblance and not being able to deny Venti’s guess. “I suppose I didn’t shape the bottom well enough. It's good to know the top came out decently at least.”

“What?! It’s not a heart?”

He shook his head. “It’s supposed to be an apple. I know this dish isn’t your favorite, but it was the ingredients we had left, so I thought I could at least make it more presentable.”

“...Oh...” Venti’s eyes blinked rapidly, making no sudden movements.

Xiao sighed again. “If it's still no good, you can eat around the—” 

“—Xiao, move for a sec, will ya?” Before he could comply, Venti had already pushed him out of the way, standing before the apple shaped delicacy. His phone was produced at lightning speed. Several shutter noises followed, capturing their meal at every angle Venti could find. His tongue jutted out of the corner of his mouth in concentration for several moments before finally lowering his device. “—and there. Got’em!”

Amber eyes blinked in shock, watching the man tap away at his phone with a sudden burst of excitement. “What are you doing?”

“Just sending a few pics to Carti.” Lithe fingers dotted the screen a few seconds more before his attention finally turned back to Xiao, his phone barely coming up to cover the curve of his smile. Soft eyes showered him with an unspoken affection. “I really love it… it’s cute. In all my years, I’ve never seen something quite this…” he trailed off, searching for a word.

“Grotesque?” Xiao offered, half joking.

Venti immediately shook his head, still giving him that sentimental look. “Endearing.” The word fell from his lips like the toll of a bell, and the rhythm turned Xiao’s ears hot. Instinctively, he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck to soothe raised hairs and goosebumps.

Venti had always been good with his words — more than Xiao would ever hope to be — but the connotation of that word made Xiao doubt even the man himself knew how much weight it carried. 

He shouldn't get carried away, though. This was just how Venti was. He appreciated the gesture and that was all that mattered.

“Hand me your bowl.” Venti did so obediently, and Xiao quickly plated half of the dish. After, he jerked his chin over to the aisle as a silent command for him to sit.

Getting the hint, Venti — skipping haphazardly — took his plate to the aisle and proceeded to jump up and sit on the counter. He marveled at the meal that sat in his lap, drooling like a silly pup until his eyes widened, troubled, and he looked to Xiao.

Rolling his eyes fondly at Venti’s pout and grabby hand, he slid open a drawer to produce a spoon for the man. “One of these days, you’ll need to learn to use chopsticks.”

Happily ignoring his warning, Venti accepted his spoon, a good amount flying into his mouth immediately. Xiao watched with intrigue, until Venti’s lips gave a quiver as he swallowed with visible effort. “Mm… yummy?”

Xiao snorted lightly behind his hand, “Who are you trying to convince?”

Venti pouted again, sighing in defeat. “Sorry, I tried.”

Xiao grabbed the soy sauce from the cabinet and slid it over to Venti, who took it and poured it over the bowl generously. His next bite came with a content hum and smile. Xiao took that as his cue to finish plating the rest of the rice in the other bowl, covering it up with a plastic wrap and setting it in the microwave. Once done, he went around to the aisle and hopped up to sit next to the boy scarfing his food down.

“Better?”

Venti’s shoveling came to a pause with a mouthful that audibly slid down his throat. Grains of rice dotted the corners of his smile. “Mhm, it’s delicious!” 

Xiao chuckled, dropping his hands into his lap. The rain had finally stopped, but it was a lot later in the day. The sun had set half-way and painted the sky and room in an auburn light. It was as if everything was bathed in gold. 

That’s how Xiao’s head ended up resting in his hand as he watched Venti eat. The object of his affection’s silhouette shone like the first rays of sun, and his effervescent smile over a meal Xiao had prepared was enough to make his chest boil over with molten heat. Like this, Venti truly looked ethereal, like he belonged in the city of Liyue, but not as one of its citizens— as the god of contracts himself, coated in Mora.

“Where’s yours?” Venti suddenly asked, only half pulling Xiao from his idolizing. 

“Huh?”

“Your food? Didn’t you make a bowl?”

“That was Carmen’s half—”

The spoon dinned against the only bowl between them as black brows squished together in disappointment. “Again!? ” A half-hearted apology drew from Xiao’s lips at the whine.

“You seriously have to eat something. You don’t have your medication yet, and I don’t want you passing out on me!” Venti watched him, waiting for him to do something about his lack of food, but he remained in place with a shrug.

…

“Eat Carti’s.” 

“I couldn’t—”

Venti interrupted him without hesitation. “He can make himself something when he gets back!”

Xiao shook his head, arms folding. “We don’t have any groceries. Besides, you already sent out evidence of the meal’s existence. The blame for its absence would automatically fall to me."

Venti clicked his teeth, his thinking face booting and causing him to clink his spoon against the rim of his bowl repeatedly. Then, his gaze shifted down to that same bowl, a thought seeming to strike him as the repetitive clinking stopped, and he let out a gasp. Before Xiao could study further, a spoonful of rice was presented to him. 

"Say ‘ah’!"

"I…" his face was already heating up, tongue encumbering his mouth at the insinuation. "It doesn't make sense to share, we both haven't eaten all day." Surely, Venti would see the logic in that and spare him.

Oh, how wrong he was. For Venti's clever smile remained, and he only cocked his head to the side in amusement. "That just means we'd both be a little less hungry if we shared,” he said, applying his own logic and backing Xiao into a metaphorical corner. “I'm not taking no for an answer. Now, open wide!" he sing-songed.

The spoon zoomed toward his face like an airplane prepared to land. His lips parted only slightly, but remained frozen with his nerves as the boy holding the spoon also leaned in close. There was a compassionate crinkle to his eyes, his smile soft but present, and only the hints of sadness still left in his gaze. There's so much he looks like he's holding back…

He barely noticed the spoon entering his mouth, save for the uncomfortable click of metal against his teeth. Masterfully, Venti deposited the rice behind his lips and pulled the spoon out clean, waiting with an expectant eyebrow raised. He chewed slowly, flavor missing his focus as he continued to search Venti’s expression for something that would convince him to unload some of that hidden burden.

And before he was ready — before he'd even realized — he began to speak something that came to mind as he watched satisfaction wash over Venti's face.

"Sometimes… I forget it's ok to make something for myself…" Sounding more crestfallen than he'd meant to, he saw Venti's eyes shift to concern, looking him over now as if he were the puzzle in need of solving.

“Oh?” The ‘why?’ in Venti’s voice gently coaxed, like calling out harmlessly to a wild animal.

Still, Xiao’s mind was already beginning to back itself into a corner. His pulse was picking up and the rice stuck to his throat uncomfortably.

“I… I…” It took only a few trying trembles of his lips for him to figure out he couldn’t speak further, and an overwhelming shame flooded him faster than he could process. 

Why was it suddenly so hard? 

Because the thought had only just occurred and slipped out of its own volition.  

But why did it matter that it slipped out? Why couldn’t he just—!?

A tugging on his sweatpants pulled him back to the moment, to the man in front of him whose understanding expression had been overtaken with worry. The sound of his name gently being called drew him back, and he tried not to show his panic on his face. The panic of having felt there, but not. The feeling of floating suddenly back into the past. The feeling of familiarity with the shame.

The only way he could hide it was with the broken laugh he choked out through a tight larynx at how ridiculous he felt to suddenly come face to face with his own hypocrisy. Eyes that constantly begged Venti to share his pain roamed the other’s face, while his deceptive tongue readied for a quick phrase of assurance. Something to make everything ok again—

—an excuse that was stopped by a well-handled spoon of rice and a hiding smile that Xiao could appreciate. “Maybe later, hm? If we talk too much, the food will get cold,” Venti said.

It was an out. One that Xiao gladly took with a nod.

Satisfied, Venti continued to feed him, began lightly cracking jokes, and brought up different design ideas for the kitchen. The conversation was light and gave Xiao the time he needed to clear his head once more. Well, as much as he could before his brain alerted him once again that Venti was feeding him. Not only that, but with the same utensil he used to feed himself. 

In one moment, the spoon would be in Venti’s mouth, licked clean of any rice. Then in the next, another spoonful was taken to Xiao’s open mouth. He glanced over at the other several times, beginning to hesitate, but the boy only insisted he keep eating while repeating the same nerve-wracking process.

It was enough to make Xiao grip his pant leg for support, holding onto his last thread of sanity.

But Venti, cool as a cucumber, persisted in his cruel act of intimacy, while Xiao slowly came to peace with his fate and tried enjoying himself (barely conscious of the abundance of vegetables that were discreetly snuck into his portion.)  

As the bowl emptied, Xiao began to notice Venti’s fleeting glances to something off in the kitchen, but each time the other caught him looking, the spritely man would march into a new topic. This was only effective for a short time, before, convinced that Xiao was distracted, Venti repeated this odd behavior.

Finally, Xiao asked, “Is something wrong?” startling the other enough that he shot his gaze back down to his empty bowl.

“No… just tired. It’s been a long day. I was thinking about taking a nap in a bit.”—mostly truthful statements that almost did the trick, but Xiao was still skeptical.

Like an exasperated child, Venti sighed and finally spat something out that gave Xiao a better clue as to what was going on. “I was just lamenting our adventure to the grocers. Nothing to cry about. There’s always next time.” He shrugged.

Though Xiao’s internal lie detector still blared loudly, this excuse was closer to the truth than the last. Venti’s eyes were still wandering around the kitchen, searching for something and nothing at all simultaneously. “Was there something you wanted?”

The man’s body stiffened, but that didn’t stop his eyes from flicking into the kitchen again, a squared gaze that Xiao followed to one of the top cabinets.

That’s when it all clicked into place. Before another vague answer could fall from Venti’s lips, Xiao hopped off the counter, padding back around the aisle to stand in the kitchen, facing that cabinet and away from Venti.

Xiao heard nothing from the other until he took a knee up to the counter and began hoisting himself onto it, sitting there on his knees to reach his goal. It was unconventional, but proved to be the best option for one who was vertically challenged.

“W-what are you…?”

“I’m getting what you wanted,” he said plainly, looking over his shoulder briefly. “And if you laugh at me while I’m up here, I will throw a glass at your head.” He swung the cabinet open and copped the wine from behind the waters. He was only a little shocked that the bottle remained unopened. It was obvious Venti knew about the bottle. Xiao had anticipated him finding it tucked away eventually. Happy to see that the seal hadn’t even been tried, he felt a little surer of his decision as he hopped down to grab a glass.

“That’s for the housewarming party…” Venti noted from behind him. The uncertainty in his voice was clear as well.

With the wine in hand, he turned to the man and ripped the post-it with his light warning to the other off. It crumpled easily in his hand, and he stuffed it in his pocket. “Guess we’ll just have to get some more.”

“I don’t have to drink…” Xiao didn’t know who Venti was trying to convince, because he was doing poorly either way. His eyes hadn’t left the container and a spark laid within those jade eyes like stars. The empty bowl had even been discarded to the sink in anticipation. 

Testing, he raised the bottle higher, watching Venti’s fishbowl-like eyes follow it in a trance. “Really? You don’t want it?” he asked, feigning disinterest. 

“I do!” His body leaned over the marble counter, a moth to a flame, as he reached longingly for the sullying liquid — as if he could stretch all the way across the gap and catch it. 

Xiao brought it down and handed it over, watching Venti take it in his arms, hugging it to his chest like a gremlin. The excitement quickly washed from the older’s face when it was finally secured, and he made no move to open it while Xiao sat a glass in front of him, a confusing sight.

Normally, Venti wouldn’t hesitate to down a drink. He’d giggle and exhaust himself before ever doing so with his many rhymes with ‘wine’. Xiao had seen him lay waste to many a bottle before; if anything, a glass of this cheap stuff was nothing to the older’s high alcohol tolerance. 

That was fine, though. The drinking itself was never really the problem.

Venti’s bottom lip folded into his mouth contemplatively as he stared the glass down, and Xiao waited silently. 

Then, a lightbulb sparked behind troubled eyes and Venti gasped, “Let’s drink it together.” No talk of food, no giggling, no punches pulled. 

Taken aback at first, Xiao didn’t agree or disagree. This was the first time Venti had ever asked him to drink, and even then, it didn’t seem like he was asking. It was just something he wanted. Venti’s pure and unfiltered desire — something the dancer always found himself submitting quickly to.

Xiao didn’t like to drink, simply for the fact that one was unable to control themselves while inebriated, and that was all it took for it to be unappealing to him. Unlike Venti, his tolerance was rather low, and the potency of the wine would draw all sense from him if he indulged too much. 

“There’s no point in sharing it; you could drink the whole thing yourself.”

“I could.” Venti retorted, shrugging his shoulders in exasperation. “I could drink it all. By. Myself! I could drink another three bottles all by myself! …I have.” His whimsical tone rotted to something dark, the half sobs of regret inking his voice and making it raspy. “And I don’t want to. I don’t want you to look at me like—!” Venti stopped himself from continuing, yet the message was still clear.

Though Xiao still had his reservations, the tears that threatened to cascade down Venti’s face pushed his morality to its knees easily. Because if there was any other thing that Xiao was weak to, it was Venti’s pleading expression and teary eyes.

“...Ok.”

“...Ok?” Venti watched him, still second guessing and untrusting. So, Xiao turned for the cabinet of glasses, grabbed a not-so-matching one of his own, and came back around the aisle.

Placing his next to Venti’s, he hopped back up, sat his hands in his crisscrossed legs, and nodded the affirmative, “We’ll drink it together.”

Venti’s mouth popped open to speak. Xiao chided him quietly and raised his glass, urging Venti to open the bottle and pour.

“Uh… Ok— one sec.” Venti scrambled onto his knees on the aisle with the wine bottle pressed to his abdomen while Xiao watched curiously. He didn’t expect Venti to quickly and efficiently shove the cork down through the neck to float amid the liquid inside. 

When he sat back with a satisfied grin and began filling their glasses, Xiao mumbled with a slight blush, “You could have told me I didn’t give you the corkscrew.”

“Hm? Oh! Well… Does it matter? I haven’t opened one of these with an actual corkscrew in years.” He turned the bottle to cut off the flow of liquid into Xiao’s cup before setting it down with a cock of his head. “Though, I guess I also usually have my key at least.”

“Sorry.”

“Oh Xiao-ti, the wine is free, no need for apologies! Our cups are filled, and you’ve provided your company.” He smiled, and for the first time that night, Xiao could tell it was genuine and brimming with mirth; the only smile he wanted to see on Venti’s face. 

The ex-writer’s glass was filled high as he raised it up mischievously, covering half his face to then wiggle his brows. “I hope red is fine for your first time drinking. It’s my personal favorite.”

I know. That's why I bought it, he thought with a huff of a laugh through his nose. “It’s not my first time.”

Venti gasped comically, “Blasphemy! I assumed you were an alcohol virgin.”

“You were mistaken.” He raised his glass.

“Ever been drunk before tonight?”

Xiao’s brow rose finely. “Who says I’m getting drunk?”

“The sheer alcohol content and volume of this bottle that you so skillfully picked for a full-house, that’s who,” Venti snorts.

“With any luck, that’s not going to happen. Half the night on wine and half on water. I should be fine.”

Venti sighed with an eye roll and raised his glass high. “A toast!” 

The glass came down between them, outstretched to Xiao. “To good wine and better roommates. Archons knows I needed both today.”

Xiao nodded his agreement, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his gaze low as his glass met Venti’s in the center. “To friendship. And the rise and fall of Shakespear the second. A wonderful writer who will do just as well in all of his future endeavors.”

Glancing up, he caught the blush across Venti’s cheeks, and the way his eyes shone. It pierced straight through Xiao with such intensity that he had no choice but to look away again. As soon as their glasses clinked, Xiao made what he thought would be his last mistake that night. He raised the glass to his lips and drank down the bitter liquid, letting it fill his senses with its heady and aged aroma.

Not his favorite, but the sooner he drank it the sooner it would be gone, and the sooner a night of lamenting would come to pass.

A few hours later, after a bit of chatting and a glass or two down for Xiao, the world around him started to blur. All of its colors shifted their shade, darker for some and lighter for others. Regardless, the experience had him tugging on one of Venti’s braids as the other happily poured himself another glass. He hummed a meaningless tune as the cup provided more wine to his stained lips.

“Ahh!” Venti sighed — so loudly, in fact, that while lying across his lap, Xiao’s fingers stilled in his braid, unsure of if his touch had offended. Instead of pain, Venti expressed flamboyantly, “This really hits the spot!” while happily clearing his throat. “Ten out of ten, I do recommend. A fine Liyuean line, with fate it does intertwine—”

“Venti… are you trying to find—”

“A tune and rhyme for my wine?” He looked down at Xiao cheekily and the passionate, benevolent gaze Venti graced him with stirred him to silence, the teal tones burning into his drunken, unreliable consciousness. 

Instead of saying anything, he nodded, immediately regretting that decision as his head swam, clouded and heavy. Despite that, he felt good. He didn’t feel like anything could hurt him or bring him down; even the rhyming pleased his senses and made him smile. Staring up at Venti and the kitchen ceiling, with a belly full of warm food and wine, he felt at peace.

Venti’s lips moved and his eyes followed with intrigue. “Wine is wine, it’s divine. A lovely glass to part my lips, providing red for me to sip. Almost is the wine worth the wait, but just the thought makes me irate. And though the day might be late, it’s a fine time to celebrate!”

Xiao’s laughter huffed through his nose, just barely registering the hour above Venti’s hollering. “Whatever you say,” he agreed inconsequentially, shutting his eyes just to listen.

Every happy gulp, every tune, every wistful chuckle — he could hear it all in a floating song above his head. The song of Venti. It made his heart bloom in his chest, coming up to obstruct his throat with the endless affections he wished to speak.

Mentally, he had the legs of Nike. He’d hit his runner’s high, and the alcohol had sent him speeding to the peaks of Mt. Olympus. Nothing could bring him down or hurt him— and to that effect nothing scared him. The fear that those blocked feelings might fully blossom into something had been pushed to the recesses of his mind. Why not? Regardless of the depth of his feelings, they both cared about each other…

“What are you thinking about, Xiao-ti?”

Without missing a beat — ok, maybe a few — he lifted his lids to look up again, thankful for Venti’s head hovering over his to give him shade, the silhouette haloed by the kitchen light and making him look ethereal. 

“You.”

“Oh?” Venti’s tone was mischievous, but Xiao thought that maybe he saw a little bit more behind those eyes. Something warm. Something he suddenly wanted. “I’m honored.”

A graceful hand fell to his cheek, stroking across it with his thumb. “Flushed pink and pretty, for the small price of sanity. Your smile is beauty. Your eyes are Core Lapis, but tonight, they remind me of the sea. Watery and lovely.” Venti waxed poetry so clearly in contrast to before that Xiao felt the words puncture through him, resolute in bringing more heat to his face.

On nights like these, Venti would usually stick to complimenting the wine, but Xiao didn’t mind the attention. Venti was smiling and happy and that was all he wanted; really, it was all the younger man cared to think about over all the fuzziness.

“I’m not nearly as pretty as you…” he found himself mumbling, though he didn’t mean to, and the shyness of his own voice in his ear made his embarrassment deepen.

Venti hummed his delight, giving a tap to the other's nose that left his face tingling. “How sweet of you to say. But I mustn’t condone such slander!” After he said so, Venti’s smile dimmed the slightest bit, but Xiao could tell by the sag of his shoulders that the weight of his true feelings was even heavier than he portrayed. “Besides, I’ve been pretty ugly recently. More so than usual.”

Xiao blinked inquisitively at the dispirited man, unable to process what he was hearing.

“Xiao… Do you hate me?”

“No,” a calm response, contradictory to how he felt. His heart raced and ached at just the thought that his feelings could be misconstrued so abruptly. Feeling Venti’s hand shaking against his cheek, he reached up to cup it, holding it to his face reassuringly.

“You don’t? Even though I made promises I couldn’t keep? I didn’t become Shakespeare— I… I made Azhdaha cheat on Dvalin!”

“You finished it the way you wanted to. It doesn’t matter what I, or anyone else, has to say about it.” He mumbled something briefly about how shocking the plot-twist was, to which Venti snorted his delight. “And you don’t have to be Shakespear… you don’t have to be anyone but you. I’m proud of you for not giving up.”

“But I did! A cliffhanger with no resolution is—”

“—An end in its own right,” Xiao stressed, transferring his touch to Venti’s face instead, and cupping his cheek to find it warm and pliable against his calloused fingers. Venti leaned into his touch lazily, letting Xiao share the weight as Venti’s eyelids drifted lower. The younger man nearly lost his train of thought within how perfect and right it felt to have the other accept his touch.

Luckily, his appreciation for the intimacy resparked his point. “You can let down your burdens whenever you feel like it. You’re not obligated to start anything that you’re not ready for. Structure is good, but it isn’t the only way to live your life.” You taught me that, he wanted to say, remembering just how wild and free Venti was in college, whipping around the entire campus and city like a happy dog without a leash to bind him.

He didn’t know what to do or how to interpret the look that Venti gave him. His thoughts were illegible, and Venti’s eyes flicked around his face for several long and silent moments. Finally, he spoke, but Xiao felt ill prepared for how his body reacted to what was said. In shock, he asked Venti to repeat himself, making the skin held gently in his palm heat up. 

“...I said, ‘I finished it for you,’” he admitted again. “I lost my spark a month ago. I was prepared to call Lisa and tell her as much. Then I remembered you and how you’d been there for me throughout the entire process— how you had to listen to me talk your ear off and lose sleep over it, but still reignited me each time I faltered and cheered me on. All of that, I remembered… After that, I imagined how disappointed you'd be if I just dropped everything we worked for.” 

A hot wet drop slid from Venti’s cheek to between Xiao’s fingers, and Venti pursed his lips, not moving to stop it as he eyes became glassy with tears. “I thought the least I could do was finish it, y’know? To show you I appreciated all of that. But I didn’t do it for me. You were the reason I kept at it, made my deadline, finished my first and probably last book— All of it! And at the very end, I still couldn’t even give you the ending you wanted.”

Before Xiao could filter out the want to hold Venti close, his other hand shot up to trap Venti's face between both, squishing the other’s face and taking the opportunity to brush away the tears from either side with his thumbs. His head shook with denial, and he begged his sloshed brain to find something comforting to say, even though he was elated. 

He could feel the unwarranted excitement, something starting to come up through him at just the idea that Venti had been thinking about him— a desire he hadn’t known was locked so deep inside. Suddenly, he could feel its potency in his uninhibited state.

“The ending doesn’t matter. As long as you wrote it the way you wanted, I’m happy. I know you wanted your readers to feel something. I wouldn’t force you to do it any other way. You have that kind of creative mindset that no one else can understand. You’re amazing!” He hoped he didn’t shout, but he could barely tell over trying to get the words out.

There was no confirmation, but Venti’s eyes brightened under his tears, and his face sported the red of a Gala apple, ripe and glistening. Then he confused Xiao by letting out a laugh that only sprung more tears and caused a smile to split his cheeks. “Honestly, Xiao! You’re too kind to me…”

Xiao didn’t know how to react other than shake his head, smiling subconsciously at Venti’s laughter.

“Hey, Xiao?”

“Yes?”

“There’s something else I want to ask you…” the smile faded, but his eyes were still wide and scrutinizing his expression.

“You can ask me anything.”

“Hehe, I’ll remember that… As for now…” he leaned down, closer to Xiao’s face than the younger could properly process. He smelled the fermentation on his breath along with sweet Cecilia shampoo. The combination of flora and bitter fruit, a smell so utterly Venti that he couldn’t help but close his eyes and drown in it as it poured over him, humming lightly for Venti to continue.

“Do you think having or experiencing something is worth the pain of losing it or having it go horribly wrong?”

No, his rational mind reminded him. Putting oneself out there, only to be shot down or to experience the heartache of a plan gone sour, was something Xiao did his best to steer clear of. From his career path to the company he kept, everything was orchestrated so that the sort of pain Venti spoke of could be avoided altogether. If he could be an asset when necessary — if he just didn't get too close with too many people in the first place — he wouldn’t be so easily replaceable. Only with Venti had he ever slipped up and allowed himself to hope their friendship could survive, despite his feelings.

So, with Venti, and Venti alone, “Yes. It’s worth it,” it seemed ok to twist that truth into a beautiful lie. Because he deserved happiness. Venti deserved the world. 

That’s what friends did — encouraged each other to believe in that sort of positivity, even if they could not show themselves that same kindness. They’d reassure others while secretly hoping one day the universe would pay it forward.

There was silence after, so deafening that Xiao cracked his eyes open, only to be met by Venti, who was mere inches from his face. Dilated eyes switched their focus between his lips and his gaze. Venti’s own lips hovered, parting to let the air blow across Xiao’s lips.

Venti was drawing closer, his aim clear, and it sent a shiver through the younger man that he could only question with the soft, unsure call to the other.

“Xiao…” His own name flowed from Venti’s lips, just as pungent as the wine on his breath, and things felt even hazier than before. There was no regret, no hesitation, no fear; just a boundary between them that Xiao was sure they'd cross if they continued. But he wanted it…

Venti’s face brushed past his and all of the tension released between them in panting breaths let out into the other's ear. Disappointment began settling into the pit of Xiao’s stomach, then confusion. Had he read the signals wrong? Was this a bad idea?

Venti sighed heavily next to his ear, giving a reluctant chuckle. “Sorry, I got carried away again. I must be tipsier than I thought.”

“Venti…” he could hear the hurt and longing in his own voice, unable to help how his lips buzzed, still anticipating something more.

“Yeah… I’m sorry. I know your inclination is towards women. My bad— old habits and all,” he reassured Xiao playfully, trying to retreat with the raise of his head. However, Xiao had no intention of letting him go. In fact, he held onto the other's face and kept him low, searching the cracks of his smile.

“No, that’s not true…” Xiao tried to stress, but his slurring impeded all credibility as Venti patted his head with a pitying noise. He was shushed like a child, and Venti’s voice grew patronizing.

Xiao’s words failed him, and his inebriated brain told him there was only one other way to get his point across. So, he let one hand slide along Venti’s neck to cup the back of it. When he finally caught the other’s eyes again, he reignited what Venti’d started, ready to pick up where the other left off. The moment Venti realized what was happening, his eyes widened. The light gasp under his breath, and the way those same eyes looked back down at Xiao’s lips, only to begin closing the closer he got, sent butterflies racing around in Xiao’s stomach.

With the raging rhythm of his heart hammering in his chest, he shut his own eyes too, parting his lips so that theirs might meet in the middle with as much warmth and passion as he’d held down over the past three years. He anticipated no longer having to wonder what it would feel like to kiss, embrace, and be accepted by the only person in the world he’d ever wanted that from.

Their lips were mere centimeters apart when there was a loud, thumping, knock at their apartment door.

Chapter Text

Both men froze in place as the furious knocking echoed around their apartment. Eyes startled open, tarnished gold and hazy jade met to shock awareness back into Xiao’s consciousness, reality slowly sinking back in.

What was Xiao doing…? What was he about to do? Another knocking fit rang out while Venti barely moved an inch to acknowledge it, still hovering so close to Xiao that their noses could touch and they shared the same puffs of air. Xiao couldn’t tell if Venti’s willfulness was brought on by ignorance or the warmth of wine slowing his train of thought. All the same, it felt like the moment was being dragged on in futile anticipation.

“Xiao…” Venti called in a sigh of his name as his arm still caged the younger in this moment in his lap.  But Xiao didn’t respond. He couldn’t as his eyes continued to roam, re-realizing his hands were cupping the other’s face, holding him there, so close that if he tilted his chin up their lips would connect. Just the thought made his head spin with regret as he searched the other’s face.

To his surprise, instead of keeping him there, Venti shut his eyes with a sigh, eyelashes pretty even as they dewed with sadness. His arm raised with the mechanicalness of iron bars, releasing Xiao to hold the hand at his cheek. “No need to worry, Xiao-ti. I see your timidity. Get some water. I’ll get the door. You know… since it’s so important.” Teal eyes rolled playfully, shooting Xiao a reassuring smile. 

Shamefully, Xiao said nothing and quietly went along with Venti’s righting of their positions, helping Xiao sit up on the counter while he hopped off. 

Venti then walked to the door, interrupting a rather harsh knock when he swung it open. “Hello! How can I help you?” At the drop of a hat, Venti’s voice was the cheery rebuttal to the negativity standing on the other side. The other person scoffed automatically, and Xiao knew before they’d spoken that they’d be giving Venti a hard time. 

“Hmm, let’s see, how can you help me? Funny that you ask.” Resounding from the doorway came an audacious male voice, reminding Xiao of the best and worst lines of chalk on a chalkboard, self-satisfying and annoying. 

“I’d like to know just what the fuck happened to the trash unit down in the parking garage. It smells like shit, and everyone is tiptoeing around it like they've got nothing to do with it! If I don’t get some accountability from anybody in this whole fucking building, we’re all going to have a whole different problem when I get the landlord involved.”

Great. Out of at least five neighboring apartments above and below us, we managed to get stuck with some boisterous, wannabe building manager. Xiao sighed, not sure of how Venti would handle the situation as silence crossed between the two standing at the door.

“Hmm…” Venti hummed, shifting his weight to one side and jutting his hip out nonchalantly. Then suddenly he giggled a little under his breath, slurring his words as he had a eureka moment. “Oh! You’re mad! I’m sorry, that must be really frustrating.” He supported his suddenly playful tone by reaching a dainty hand up to the other’s head, beginning to pat him. “There, there. What’s your name? Maybe there’s something I can do.”

The figure stumbled back with frantic stuttering, patting his hair down quickly as though it were on fire. “What the hell— Don’t touch me! I don't know you or where you’ve been.”

“Oh yeah…” Venti recounted, “You never really did ask though. I’m Venti! And you are?”

It was obvious Venti had his hand out from the way he spoke, probably a dopey smile with the remnants of wine wafting over the other person’s face. 

“Scaramouche. Scaramouche Raiden.”

“Scaramouche?” It rolled off Venti’s tongue like cement. At this, Scaramouche scoffed again.

"Are you drunk or just ignorant? It's not that unfamiliar a name; though, I'm sure you've never met another.” Xiao cringed from his spot on the counter. If it weren’t for recent events, he’d be standing there by Venti’s side, giving this guy a piece of his mind.

Instead, Venti alone retorted, “It’s a pretty name, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I have had a few glasses of wine—” Xiao didn’t know if 7/8ths of the bottle was considered ‘a few’. “— but you wanted help with the garbage, right? I’ll come help.”

“So, it was you!”

“Hmm? Who said that?”

“Why would you help with something you didn’t do? Obviously, you had something to do with it.” Scaramouche deduced. Xiao too felt this was a plausible conclusion, but knew that if it were Venti’s fault, it was also his and Carmen’s.

“Well, I can’t confirm or deny that I aided in the situation. I just figured that I live here, too. If we want the situation resolved, putting our heads together is the best way to fix it quickly. Besides, you said anybody ~”

“But what about pinning the bastard who caused it in the first place?! If we don’t find them and get them to stop, they’ll just do the shit again.”

Venti only sounds mildly frustrated at this point, folding his arms. “Sure. We can go look for them. I’m sure the parking area won’t stink forever once the rain stops and traps the smell in… Nope! Finding the culprit seems far more important.”

There was silence once more and Xiao wondered what the reason could be, leaning back a bit to try and catch a glimpse of Scaramouche, but Venti continued to unconsciously abstract his view with the back of his head. He didn’t have to sit disappointed for long before there was a soft curse and their neighbor’s sigh.

“Fine. Whatever. I guess I’ll go get some supplies. You get some gloves or something and meet me down there as soon as possible. And don’t think this makes you any less a suspect! When I figure out who did this, they’re in for a fucking ear-full.” Scaramouche was already walking away before he finished, traveling down the stairwell.

Venti gave a careless hum of agreement before closing the door and turning on his heels to head back toward Xiao. Only, once there, he completely bypassed the man to go through the kitchen cabinets. “Below the sink,” Xiao called carefully, and those jade eyes landed on him hesitantly before tossing him a quick smile. Following his direction, Venti retrieved a pair of gloves from the island cabinets, hastily fitting his hands into each with a snap.

“Thanks! I’m serious by the way. Get some water. I don’t know how long this will take. If you’re asleep when I come back up, make sure to get your medicine tomorrow, and don’t even bother making breakfast unless you’ve made something for yourself first, ok?”

Xiao’s heart beat quickly with each sentence. Venti was leaving him. He knew he’d be back, but, after all of that? The shock of his haste hit Xiao like a ‘goodbye’? The elephant in the room stomped through his mind, begging to be addressed. 

“Venti—” he tried to speak up, but his voice was too soft, constricted with fear and upset.

Not hearing him, Venti jogged to the door, throwing another smile over his shoulder that didn’t quite meet his eyes. Afterward, he ducked out, leaving Xiao to the cumbersome silence of the apartment. The clock’s tick in the corner was even eerily quiet. 

He looked to the source of the noise, checking to see that the time said 9 pm. He did have to sleep soon. But the heaviness in his chest made the mere thought of rest virtually impossible. Remembering the way Venti looked down at him, letting him guide his face down to his, the smell of Cecilia shampoo, the bitterness of wine intermingling between their lips— the aroma of being so close only to be shoved farther apart than they’d begun.

Xiao fought the urge to curl up on the counter and cry, hopping down on shaky legs to round the island. He grabs a glass from the sink, rinsing it to pour himself water. Lifting the glass to his lips became difficult, the shaking in his legs conveniently traveling to his hands. He got a swig before setting the glass back on the countertop and hanging his head as he tried to settle himself, hands gripping the edge of the surface.

He attempted to steer his mind clear of the recess of his memory, but he couldn’t help it. The moment their lips almost pressed together played on repeat along with words he’d been warned of only two short years ago. The events lined up too perfectly. The wine, the questioning, the proximity— Everything brought him back to a little bar in Mondstadt, where a red-haired man warned him of just how easy it was to get lost in Venti’s whims.

“Xiao? Hello? Teyvat to Xiao!” Xiao’s eyes suddenly refocused, following a pair of snapping fingers up the arm and to— “Venti?”

The person in question curled his nose and set a drawstring backpack on the counter. “Close, but no cigar. It’s been a minute since you’ve mistaken me for him though.” Carmen grabs the empty bottle off of the counter, inspecting it thoroughly. “Though, I guess I could blame this for your poor recognition skills.”

Xiao shook his head and allowed the lack of blue on the tips of braids, and different silver vibrancy to the eyes to resonate. “Carmen…”

“Ding, ding, ding! What gave it away?” The twin’s tone dripped like molasses with sarcasm and Xiao tried rolling his eyes, only to have to steady himself again.

Against his better judgment, Xiao answered the rhetorical question with, “Your voice is softer than Venti’s like you don’t want to be heard.” Just saying Venti’s name reminded Xiao of that kiss, like a flicker of the light switch and he winced, looking away and down into his cup.

Carmen paused to side-eye him. He set the bottle down to turn to face Xiao, quirking a brow and holding his chin as he looked him up and down. Xiao watched him do this from the corner of his eye, unable to ignore the eyes burning holes into the side of his face.

Then, Carmen’s voice finally rang out. “What happened?”

“Could you please be less perceptive?” Xiao sighed, sinking his head further, trying to soothe his temples with his fingers. 

“Why?” Carmen’s adamant self let his torso rest on the counter's edge. “Maybe if I know what happened, I can help. Where’s Ven anyway?”

“Helping some prissy neighbor fix the parking garage stench.”

“Oh, thank Celestia. I just about choked coming up… Why are you up here by yourself, then?”

Xiao raised his glass as a means of an answer, but Carmen only hummed, using the clean kitchen surface to tap his fingers loudly. “Is… the book done?”

Xiao gave a hollow nod.

“Oh.” The pleasant surprise was expected. “So, you guys were celebrating without me. Cool… Did something happen at the doctor’s office? Are you ok?” A cautiously thin layer of worry.

“I’m fine. I may be anemic, we’ll see.” Purposefully, he left out the medicine he’d failed to pick up, but Carmen didn’t seem to notice as he rushed back into his analysis.

“Then—”

“Carmen, can you just—” Xiao feels the vitriol boiling up, words he’d never say spurred up to the tip of his tongue by the wine residue still there. Instead of allowing it, he snapped his mouth shut, took a breath, and tried regaining a semblance of control. “Can we not do this right now?” he pleaded.

“Wait…” Unfortunately, his plea fell on deaf ears. With a spark in his eye, it seemed Carmen found a new deduction. Suddenly, his hands were over his mouth, eyes wide, and leaning back. 

“Carmen.”

“Did you two…?”

“No! Well, not really—” He was suddenly reminded of the embarrassment of the entire thing, something hidden behind the dread and doom, only drudged up now by Carmen’s growing grin.

“Come on, don’t keep me out of the loop! You have to tell me! I live here, too. Was it good? Was it bad?”

Xiao poured the glass into the sink, trying to ignore the other. He shook his head subconsciously, his mind a mess of flashbacks and trepidation for the future. What would happen when Venti came back? Would nothing happen? Would they just continue to exist together in space, the inevitable quiet of even the concept of what had happened buried by a soundless voice and chalked up to alcohol consumption?

Part of him said, ‘Yes.’ That’s what should happen. They’d stay friends and Xiao’d continue to remain faithfully by Venti’s side, forever watching and longing for his dooming kisses. For his warmth. For his love. For the idea that they could just be together without any regret or disregard for the leaps and bounds that Xiao would pull; whether Venti inevitably got sick of his eager tail wagging or not.

But after coming so close… After holding his face between his hands with the intent to leave his devotion on Venti’s tongue, could they really go back? Did he want to?

Carmen’s arms wrapping him and head leaning against his shoulder knocked him out of his spiraling thoughts. Xiao lethargically let his head roll to look at a puffy, humidified head of hair. Carmen’s lashes hid his eyes completely. "Sorry. I… got carried away. Are you ok?"

"...what do you think?"

"Yeah, my bad. Is there any way for me to help though?"

"There's nothing to help with." Xiao finally stated, sighing and putting his head on Carmen's. "Nothing really happened. We had some wine, said some things, and nearly overstepped a boundary and the universe quickly rectified what would have been a drunken mistake. Everything's the same..." And that should mean there is no problem.

There was a bit of silence before Carmen took his head away to look at Xiao. "It doesn’t sound like that's what you want."

Xiao opened his mouth to try and negate but found himself choking up and having to close it quickly. The noise startled the other and Carmen’s silver-sky eyes lit up with concern. His brows pulled together, still holding Xiao’s arm with a look of pity. "Oh, Xiao…"

"You were right. I’ve been drinking… I know we can excuse it away and call it a mistake. But it feels like I’ll explode if I try. I should have— we were so close and for once I wasn’t scared. But now I'm just scared of that, too."

Carmen looks down at the floor, eyes narrow and blinking and flicking around thoughts strewn across his face. Then, with a resolute expression, he looks back to Xiao, putting on a smile and ruffling his hair. “I hear you. But you’re not going to get anywhere by moping about hypotheticals.” Carmen let go to pour Xiao a new glass of water, gingerly handing it to him.

Xiao took a sip, appreciating it as it soothed his tight throat. While he did so, Carmen continued, “You have to start taking some of your own advice. Whatever you’re going to do, you don’t have to do it alone. For all of the help that you give others, I can count the number of times you’ve accepted help on one hand. 

“So here’s what I’m thinking. Tomorrow, around lunchtime, you bring your friends over to Wanmin and I’ll see if I can get Xiangling to save a table in the back. Talking it out with people you trust — people who know you and Venti — might help you get some fresh perspective. How’s that sound?” 

Xiao nodded along slowly. After all, his own panicking hadn’t been doing anything but making him sick. Maybe it was time to call in reinforcements.  It wasn’t going to fix everything, or prevent Xiao’s fears from flaring up, but it felt like a step in the right direction. “I guess that’s better than doing nothing.”

Smiling, Carmen patted his shoulder. “That’s the spirit.”

“Thanks, Carmen.”

“No problem. You know I’ll always help if I can. Who knows, maybe when you two start dating, Venti will have all the inspiration he needs for his next book~” Carmen teased.

“Um, about that…” Xiao tried to figure out how to tell Carmen the real reason behind their drinking when the door suddenly opened up. Xiao leaned over to see Venti’s head pop out from behind the door, seeming to do a quick scan of the room before entering. 

“Carti! Do we have any heavy-duty bath stuff? Can you get it for me?” The head of said twin snapped back to look at the other.

Taken aback, Carmen replied, “You can’t get it yourself?” to which, Venti blinked for a second before presenting an evil grin on his face.

“Oh, silly me, I could do that couldn’t I? I’ll even come give you a hug while I’m at it. I’m sure you’d love to spend the night smelling like you’ve been up to your neck in garbage, too.” Venti began opening the door in the threatening display before a panicked noise, like a mouse’s squeak, shot from Carmen’s lips as he backed away.

“Fine, fine! I’ll get it, just don’t come in here!” He quickly skittered away, leaving Xiao to fend for himself. 

There was no time for him to panic as Venti began a line of questioning. “Did you drink some water?”

Xiao held up the empty glass, kind of absentmindedly, hoping Venti could see it from that distance. There was a hum of approval. “Good! Like I said, if you’ve gotta go to bed, don’t wait up for me, I have absolutely no clue when I’ll be back. Scara wasn’t kidding about the overflow. It’s massive and mostly food, which explains the smell.”

“You’re sure you don’t want any help? How’s that guy treating you?” Xiao tried to project, but his voice barely reached above a whisper with Venti sitting there looking at him. “Is he giving you trouble?”

“Who, Scara? No. He may be a bit pompous, but he was justifiably angry about what was going on. Besides, he’s actually calmed down a lot now knowing someone is there to help him. Grumpy and entitled, sure, but calm. I’ve got it all under control.” Venti giggled but his laughter died quickly. 

It was taking Carmen a while to get back, and when Venti wasn't talking to Xiao, his eyes wandered away and his fingers thrummed on the door. 

Any other time, there’d be light banter, an annoying rhyme, or any other semblance of engagement. Even a hiding smile would be comforting at this point. Should he say something to reassure the other or should he point figurative fingers at the elephant in the room?

“Venti…” he tried, like he did before Venti had left him behind the first time, to call the other. This time the ex-writer looks at him with a coy stare. Ugh, what did he say now? “I… Are you sure you don’t need any help? You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”

And Venti smiled, a curl at the corner that showed just a little of his teeth and wiped some of the worries from Xiao’s over-encumbered heart. Still, he shook his head. Though, he didn't look away. Didn't hide. 

"I've got this one Mr. Busy-Body. How about you take your shower first and get some rest? I don't know anything about anemia, but I don't want you moving around all 'willy-nilly' until you've got your medicine, you hear me? So you'd better let them know at work, too."

Xiao struggled with the concept and fiddled with it in his head with a frown. Venti was right. He shouldn't overexert himself. At the same time, it still felt like a conveniently placed excuse.

"Ok. You've got your keys?"

"Yup!" The older gave a quick grinning bob of his head.

"I'll be waiting for you."

Venti let out a nervous little laugh, fiddling with the doorknob. "I really wish you wouldn't. I'd hate to be the reason you go to work tired. It's a lot to clean up." He looked at Xiao under his eyelashes.

Before Xiao could say anything to reassure Venti, Carmen reappeared with a container of powder, slowing down as he approached the door to hold his nose. "Here. Take it. And don't touch me either."

"Aww, you don't want a hug? No kiss goodnight?" Venti wiggled his brows. Carmen responded almost instinctively by throwing the cleaner at Venti’s forehead, only missing his target as Venti scrambled to catch it with both hands.

"Thank you~!"

"Go!"

Venti ran off before Carmen could find another item to throw at him, yanking the door shut behind him. Exasperated, Carmen locked up and turned back to Xiao. "Well? You heard him. Go take your shower and get some rest, you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

Xiao raised a brow, stepping a little closer. "You were listening?"

"Of course I was. It's my civic duty as someone constantly left guessing by my evasive companions. Besides, I picked up that little habit from Ven, so you can thank him for that."

"Then, why did you interrupt?"

Hands falling behind his back, Carmen gave a contemplative frown. "Because… I can tell he isn't himself right now. I didn't like seeing him push you away. Besides, the verbal conversation was rather trivial anyway. If you disagree on the little things, it makes having bigger conversations harder to have later. I'm just trying to help in my own way."

"Thank you, Carmen. I appreciate you looking out for us."

Carmen's hands raised to his hips, huffing a laugh. "As if these services don’t come at a cost. I expect to be someone's best man at the wedding. So there better be a wedding! If you two aren't fighting over me by that time, I'll be furious." His soft smile contrasted the severity of his words, but Xiao took it seriously all the same.

"If there's a wedding, you can be the preacher." Xiao shook his head with a laugh, feeling just a little lighter now.

"I guess I'd better work on my certification then, huh?" Amused, Carmen made his way to the kitchen, taking out his portion of dinner.

With that their conversation came to a pleasant end. Despite his knowledge of Venti's evasion, Xiao was aching for a shower. He nearly threw himself in with his clothes still on, though he wasn't that desperate. 

Scrubbing himself down under the beating warm water, he began letting some of the tension go. There was only a dull swimming of his head from the alcohol now. But, seeing as Venti wouldn't be back any time soon, he decided to indulge in the leftover floatiness. Grasping himself in hand, he began thinking of just what he'd wanted to do with Venti at that moment.

If he’d just been a little bolder, or maybe even a little more intoxicated, he would have smashed their lips together and finally tasted Venti for himself. Would have known just how his pouty lips would slot with his as he leaned up more to deepen their kiss.

He’d pull away only for a second, just enough to allow them to share breath, but not enough to think about the rest. His boldness would lead him to flipping their positions so that Venti lay flat on the aisle with Xiao’s weight pressing over him comfortably. He would indulge in the way Venti’s eyes closed expectantly as they made out, submitting to the growing intoxication of the moment. There would be no door knocking to interrupt them as Xiao’s lips traveled lower on his form, kissing and sucking at the petite older man’s form as Venti breathed “Xiao” while running his hand through Xiao’s hair and submitting with each kiss. His neck, collarbone, each nipple under a raised shirt, and down to his belly.

Just above his naval, Xiao would have proclaimed his love, and basked in the freedom of it as his nose glided along Venti’s skin. Glancing up, he’d thank all of the archons above for Venti’s warm smile.

‘Xiao, me too, I love you.’ Xiao shuddered, shocked by the hard thumping in his hold. Just imagining those words leaving Venti’s lips was a whole dream in itself, enough to jolt Xiao awake. Yet, he continued letting the illusion take him down the path that he knew spoke to his deepest desires.

Venti's love… the very declaration of it would send Xiao into madness. His world would suddenly be too bright for any dark creature to exist, too loving to allow bitterness to drip from his heart. Too perfect for him to ever fall asleep again wondering how Venti felt. Xiao would savor Venti’s affections better than any man lost in the desert would conserve water; because it would mean the world to him every day, not just when he needed it. And every day he'd remind Venti of that, never leaving him to question what Xiao felt either.

With that in mind, he'd take the hem of Venti’s shorts down and he'd bob his head-- his mouth -- over Venti until the other was sobbing for him. He didn't know if he’d have the technique down, but he'd give Venti everything he had.

Before the other could reach his climax, Xiao would stop. He'd pull away and venti would whine in desperation, "...Xiao-ti, please… wanna feel you…”

Just as eager, Xiao would agree, prepping Venti quickly while the other insisted “Hurry, hurry…” He could almost feel the moment he’d slide into Venti, holding him close. What kissing him would be like while they ground against each other and Xiao finally began to move, hearing Venti’s feathery moans through his nose.

“I love you…” he hears himself above the shower water. He keeps his eyes closed, the image of Venti smiling up at him driving him deeper into his pleasure. The echo back at him, one that would usually embarrass him, has him longing to say it more, to see the look on Venti’s face, wants to see and be a part of the real thing, wants to do that every day for the rest of their lives.

When he imagined Venti saying it back, screaming it when he hit just the right spot inside of him, Xiao’s moans came out in the real world, his movements quickening. His hips jerked into his hand until the only evidence of his fervent fantasy was quietly washed down the drain.

He finished up, exited, dried, and clothed himself in pajamas the same way. Except his thoughts were loud with the sound of his lips against Venti’s. Like a disease, it clung to him even when he lay in his bed, warm under the covers. Vaguely he heard Carmen readying for bed above his head, but other than that it was quiet.

It wasn’t until a little after midnight when the door to the room opened that Xiao heard someone quietly moving around. Footsteps tracked from the closet to the bathroom like a whisper before the door to the en suite shut.

Xiao listened to the shower go, fidgeting with his phone as he watched the minutes go by. It felt like ages, but it was only a matter of time before the water stopped and Xiao could hear Venti get out. It took a couple of minutes for the door to eventually squeak open, though Xiao heard Venti's effort to open it carefully.

When those footsteps grew closer, until they were behind him, Xiao’s heart picked up speed. After his escapades, he wasn’t sure what to do with Venti’s body pressed up against him all night.

 Laying as motionless as possible, he waited… and waited…

Instead of feeling Venti slide into bed with him, hugging his back, he heard the other bed give a small protesting squeak. Part of Xiao was relieved to hear the shuffling on the other side of the room. However, the part of him that had grown used to that intimacy turned him around to look at the other man.

To anyone else, the image of Venti sitting up in his bed, a towel around his shoulders to catch the water still dripping from his hair, and a pen scribbling in a notebook would be normal. But to Xiao… this was just wrong and left a sinking feeling in his chest.

Trying not to sound too pathetic, Xiao called out, “What are you doing?”

To which, Venti nearly jumped out of his skin, looking over. “Shit-”

“Sorry.”

“Archons, Xiao, you’re supposed to be asleep! It’s one a.m.!” Only a hint of disappointment reached his voice, but Venti pouted at him nonetheless.

“I said I’d wait.”

“You did… You should sleep.”

“So should you.”

Venti took the back of his pen between his lips, nibbling on it while looking up at the ceiling. “Mm, I have a few things to take care of, that’s all. I understand the importance of beauty sleep unlike some people~”

“At least I can dry my own hair.” Xiao’s lighthearted retort caught in his throat awkwardly, but he was happy to have the banter, needing the reassurance it gave.

Quickly dropping the notebook, Venti tossed the towel through his head in an effort to disprove this. “Well, that makes two of us then. I’ll go to bed in a bit, I promise,” he said from under the towel, obscuring his expression.

Hesitating, Xiao gave a small hum, just lying there, making no attempt to sleep. When a teal eye peeked from under the damp strands of hair he saw it roll before a mischievous smile spread across his lovely lips. “Mm, could it be you’re waiting for a song, sweet Xiao?”

It’s not what he was expecting, but he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to hear Venti sing. So, he nodded.

With a giggle, Venti wrapped the towel back around his shoulders, hair a half-fluffy, half-stringy mess. “Then, I hope you don’t mind the plagiarism. It’s been a long day.”

Before Xiao could confirm or deny, Venti jumped into the song, its long ballad-like melody more beautiful than when Xiao sang the song for him; though he had a bias, that didn’t stop it from being true.

Beautiful as the song was, leading him to a land of sleep. He couldn't help but close his eyes feeling odd and filled with regret. Something was just off, and perhaps he could chock it up to the day they’d both had. Venti wasn’t wrong about how draining it’d been.

But something else nagged at the back of his mind all the way until every little light in his personal factory went out. Maybe it was a coincidence but…

Venti had only been calling him ‘Xiao’ for a while now… When did that start?

The last light went out and the answer lost itself over the melody too far away for him to hear.

When Xiao’s eyes closed, Venti made sure to finish the song, kept himself from tearing up a few minutes after, and let himself slink over to Xiao’s side. Kneeling next to his sleeping face, he resisted the nagging urge to stroke Xiao's hair, caress his face, or poke away his worry lines. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Venti ended up pleading quietly, his fingers fiddling together to keep away. Far away.

Venti’s laugh was bitter in the quiet room. “Where’d you learn to be so fucking good to people anyway? I’d love to take a class…” Sitting there he thought to himself for a moment before sighing and trudging back to his bed with a grumble. “That wouldn’t last very long, would it? What am I even doing anymore? I know better than this but I… I’m dragging you down, aren’t I?” 

Tears rolled down his face as he lay there, eyes tracing the spirals of the notebook next to his face. Xiao will be upset if I don’t sleep soon. I promised. 

Sighing, he picked up the notebook, glancing over the quick, unfinished pen sketch of Scaramouche there. The sketch itself wasn't bad, but what was more important was the number scrawled beneath it belonging to the man himself. 

Scaramouche came off as a nasty person, so it was easy for Venti to understand why people weren't so quick to help him. Yet, down in the parking garage, knee-deep in filth, the other was less insufferable than expected. An attitude on him, sure, but what really caught Venti off guard was the sheer determination he had while doing something that was the last thing on his list. And Venti hadn’t shirked his duty… all the way. But Scaramouche did what needed to be done, didn’t run from it or feel the need to censor how much the task sucked; he refused to grin and bear it.

Something in the back of Venti’s head told him that maybe if Xiao could see past the general attitude, they’d get along. They had a lot in common… Scaramouche wasn’t bad looking either, not much bigger than Venti himself with tattoos that peeked out from his sleeves just waiting to tell their story.

He looked at the number a bit longer, something turning the cogs within and possessing him to pull up his phone. Maybe I don’t have to do this alone after all…

Chapter Text

Carmen’s deep sigh upon hearing the news made Xiao shrink in his seat, even though he knew he wasn’t the one to blame. Just as Xiao thought, Carmen didn’t seem angry and didn’t complain or deny the truth. Instead, when his silver eyes opened, Xiao saw plain disappointment and nothing more. 

Which, in his opinion, was much worse. 

“Leave it to Ven to make the only book he’ll ever write end on a cliffhanger. I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Carmen,” Xiao started but stopped, unable to come to Venti’s aid. If he could, he’d tell Carmen just how upset Venti was about the whole thing, or even try to speak on how hard it is to write a book to begin with. But the number of eyes on them as well as the fact that Venti was not there to defend himself silenced Xiao almost immediately. If it weren’t for the restaurant ambiance and friendly faces sitting around them, things would be different. 

Lucky for him, Carmen seemed to acknowledge their situation with a glance over to Albedo, Chongyun, and Kazuha, who’d slowed their eating to a snail’s pace as they spoke. He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, that wasn’t the point. What happened after that?”

Xiao mentally thanked Carmen for his grace as everyone who’d slowed their work on lunch gradually began eating normally. And then, leaned in to hear Xiao speak. 

Scratch that. It wasn’t much better having everyone’s eyes squarely on him. Sure, two of the other people assembled were friends that he felt comfortable around. However, the notes that they jotted down— whether on their phone or a clipboard —made him feel more like a lab rat than a friend seeking advice. However, in their defense, he did feel trapped within the labyrinth of his mind, searching for a single wedge of cheese. 

Still, their intrigue and dutiful note-taking prickled Xiao’s skin and made him itch. 

“Well… once his editor left, things took a turn,” Xiao continued rehashing what’d led up to that almost kiss in sparse details— what he could remember. He recalled the food, the wine, and that drunken floatiness that would remain a haunting reminder of how Venti’s tipsy little smile shone above him. “The next thing I knew, he was so close to me that I could feel his breath. Venti’s always been rather ‘affectionate’, especially when drunk, but it’s nothing I can’t handle with some redirecting. Yet, being intoxicated myself made a difference. I saw him leaning towards me and— for once —I didn’t want to stop him. Everything felt so… right.”

“So, the two of you finally kissed?” Albedo asked, not looking up from his board like some kind of therapist.

“More like he stopped himself, saying he was drunk and apologizing all of a sudden. So… I tried to kiss him instead.” His voice became quieter towards the end, wanting to be swallowed up by the floor.

“Holy crap, you?” Carmen asked in awe.

“I was drunk, ok!” He whipped his head away with a huff. 

“So, did you kiss him ?” Kazuha asked, smiling with his hands together in anticipation.
Xiao scratched the back of his head. “N-not exactly. One of our neighbors ended up knocking—”

The three of them gave a collective groan before he’d even finished, heads sinking.

“It’s always something,” lamented Carmen.

“I feel like I’m stuck tech-ing a rom-com with five acts,” Albedo seconded the motion.

“Hold on. Maybe this is still salvageable. Interruptions don’t always spoil the mood,” Kazuha theorized. “What happened after?”

Xiao sighed, “Unfortunately, all of that courage ran out of me. I froze! I couldn’t even look him in the eye. Things were awkward between us afterward… He went to help our neighbor and when he returned it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“He shut him right out,” Carmen confirmed.

Albedo’s scribbles over his clipboard took center stage when Xiao finished until said clipboard was placed on the table and Albedo’s gentle huff stole the show. “If things were still going to be this ridiculous over a non-kiss, you two should have just made out and dealt with the consequences later.”

Xiao’s face curled with confusion and Carmen vocalized precisely what was at the front of his mind. 

“Surely you can understand how that would have made things worse!”

“On the contrary, things would have been the same. Or, perhaps, things between them would have gone further. They were inebriated after all.”

“I agree.” Kazuha nodded. “The ambiguity might have even lessened. The circumstances weren't ideal, but an opportunity was there nonetheless.” 

“If I’d known you two would criticize me, I wouldn’t have told you,” Xiao grumbled, turning his head away. “I don’t need to be lectured like a child.”

Albedo gave a wry smile, his brow raised. “Oh, we’re not lecturing you, yet .”

“Then what do you call this!?”

“Commiserating~” Kazuha’s sing-songy reply went unappreciated as Xiao eyed him like he’d been day-drinking.

“Mr. Xiao…” a timid voice uttered above the shenanigans, drawing Xiao’s attention to their table mate who’d gone unnoticed until then. 

Xiao watched the icy-blue-haired trainee swallow as the spotlight veered his way. His eyes darted around, hands fidgeting noticeably even though the table blocked Xiao's view.

“Yes, Chongyun?”

“I’m just a little confused. Wouldn’t you simply need to apologize and then tell Mr. Venti what you just told us?"

Xiao sighed, choosing his words carefully. Between the lack of sleep, the annoying teasing, and the slight hangover, he didn’t know if he had the patience or filter to bring the youngest up to speed. In place of an explanation, he simply said, “It’s complicated,” and took a bite of his food.

His friends seemed to have no issue with filling in the gaps.

“Unfortunately, he's in a tougher spot than that to need our help. We hardly hear of many of his struggles.” Kazuha offered first, stirring shapes into his plate with his chopsticks.

“Precisely,” Albedo agreed. “This is very important to Xiao, so as his trusted friends we’re here to support him, all teasing aside.”

“Oh, ok! Don't mind me, then. I apologize for speaking on things I know nothing about.”

“Nonsense.” Carmen waved Chongyun’s worries away, giving him a kindergarten teacher smile. “Who knows, you’re young— maybe you’ll be able to give a fresh perspective on the situation.”

“Maybe… I’ll do my best. I’ve never been in Mr. Xiao’s shoes.”

Albedo flipped his pen, quickly sketching something out on his notepad. “Let’s try to break some things down before lunch ends then, shall we? First off, what’s the problem so far?”

Carmen raised his hand high and Albedo pointed his pen at him, conceding the floor. “As far as I’ve heard, it seems like Xiao wants to ask Venti out, finally. However, with what happened it’s unclear how he should go about it and if Venti will be receptive to his advances; which is fair, considering the involvement of alcohol and my brother’s general denseness.”

“Be nice,” Xiao grumbled under his breath, cheeks warm from the automatic outburst. He wasn’t Carmen’s mother after all.

“My brother, my business,” Carmen hummed in amusement. “Besides, I’m only stating facts.”

Albedo scribbled these so-called ‘facts’ down dutifully, nodding along. “Thank you, Carmen.”

“No problem. Might I make a suggestion?”

“You may.”

“Shall we call this: ‘Project: Xiao needs to Stop Being Such a Pussy?” he suggested with the slightest smirk, leaving Xiao’s jaw to drop as he gaped at his profile.

“Again, I asked for your help, not your criticism!”

“Lucky for you, it’s a two-for-one special~” Kazuha breezed through, flawlessly ruthless.

I did this to myself… Xiao thought while rubbing his tired eyes that still squinted under the dim light of the dining area.

He could have sat at home and stared at the ceiling telling himself how much of a coward he was and how easy it would have been just to reveal his intentions to Venti right then and there. That was why he needed help! He needed a course of action that didn’t make him want to crawl under a rock. If he didn’t secure a plan quickly, he would end up holding it all in again until eventually blurting the whole thing out to Venti in an unorganized mess, leaving them both in a tough spot. Or, he’d end up packing his things and trying to create distance between them to maintain their friendship. That was all his fearful mind could come up with.

“Anyway,” Kazuha continued, “Maybe we should address that first then? Xiao’s fear and anxiety? Confessing one’s feelings is a very vulnerable thing. As a plain fact, it either works or it doesn’t; not that knowing makes it easier. The potential of crossing that line will cause some distress. The only real way I can think of to lessen some of that is to assess how Venti feels and go from there.” His gaze shifted to Xiao. “Would you be open to figuring that out? Think about it carefully. We’ll support whatever method is best for you.”

With Kazuha’s gentle red eyes on him, he suddenly felt lighter, like hope had sprouted on his back in a set of tiny, fluffy wings. This really is a two-for-one special. He hadn’t thought about his situation quite that way before, but Kazuha’s theory seemed true enough.

Then again, he’d dragged his feet for multiple reasons and wasn’t sure how this would work to solve all of it. The root of his fear was far greater than either of their feelings. Truthfully, it’d be easier to ask what he wasn’t afraid of. Inevitably…

He folded his arms on the table, closing his eyes to think. 

“Venti loves new things; songs, hobbies, places, and people. Once he’s gotten his fill of one, he moves on to the next. He’s bright and adventurous, and that’s the best thing about him… until you’re what he leaves behind.”

Looking around the table, he noticed that Carmen’s eyes had darkened, his lips moving in an utterance only he could hear above the clattering of the kitchen. 

“Like a cliffhanger with no hope for a sequel.”

Xiao looked down into the food he’d barely touched, feeling those light-as-air wings sag on his back. Carmen understood Venti’s nature to an even greater extent than he did. It was no surprise that he knew where Xiao was coming from. 

So then why did he keep driving Xiao forward, encouraging him to bypass the facts that lay before them?

Across the table, Albedo blinked between them calmly. “You think that Venti would just grow bored and leave?”

Kazuha wiped his mouth clean before pushing his clean plate to continue the conversation. “Surely, if Venti were that type of person, wouldn’t he have done so already? You two have been close for years now.”

Albedo’s eyes clicked down to his clipboard, lips pursed. “We’d have to assess how long it takes him to get tired of something in the first place. That is to say, he might be doing this out of habit, not out of spite, if at all. Though, intention is not our concern here.”

Xiao looked between the two of them, watching them split from the same page. The last time that happened their friendly, but intense, debate had lasted a week. Something he didn’t have time for. 

“If he’ll do it whether he wants to or not, doesn’t that make confessing hopeless anyway?”

“Not at all.” Kazuha gave him a reassuring glance while shooting a gentle but cutting glare in Albedo’s direction. “As someone who’s watched the two of you’s relationship develop, and as a poet myself— even though Venti’s craving for whimsical adventure may prove to be a hurdle, it does not mean his capacity to love is any less than yours. For example… If he knew that there was a chance for you to part ways and not see each other again what do you think he’d do? What has he already done?”

Xiao looked at Kazuha, not sure what he was getting at. The others looked between themselves, not even pretending to understand until Kazuha sighed and mercifully filled them all in. 

“You stick close to them! C’mon! Xiao, you were prepared to move Archons know where; who knows when you would have seen each other again? Yet, Venti asked you to live with him and Carmen!”

Xiao blinked at Kazuha, confused. “That would be the case. But, Carmen is the one who asked me to join them, not Venti.”

Carmen seemed to startle at this, drawing everyone's attention. “I mean… not necessarily. I made all the preparations, but getting you to move in with us was Venti’s idea. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have to sell all of your things and was thinking about helping you get the money you needed…” Carmen’s sentence trailed off, oddly quiet after.

Kazuha smiled sympathetically in his direction. “That could have solved the issue just as well. And, like I said, this means Venti opted not to be separated from you. Doesn’t that count in your favor?”

“But how do I know it wasn’t just a platonic gesture?”

Suddenly, Carmen rolled his eyes with a huff, “You won't until you ask him! Right now we’re focusing on the possibility he’d get tired of you.” 

“Speaking of which,” Albedo interjected before Xiao could speak. “What of Venti’s romantic partners up until now? Surely we can draw some conclusions from them.”

Hmm…

Everything paused as if the whole world waited on him for a response. And Xiao scanned an invisible timeline, searching for an answer, only for his brows to furrow and lengthen the silence. His deduction left him blinking rapidly, suddenly sitting up from his hunched position over the table.

“There aren’t any… Venti hasn’t dated anyone since I’ve known him.”

Glances passed around the table. “None? Not one in at least two years? You’re sure?”

“Now that I think about it,” Carmen mused beside him, stroking his chin. “I don’t think I’ve heard him talk about anyone else since meeting Xiao.”

Xiao nodded in agreement. “If he had been seeing someone, I’d have known. We spent most of our days together when our schedules permitted it. Anything he told me about his love life was in the past tense, just before we met— …Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Kazuha folded his arms, bowing his head with a sigh. "A mind of stone/ A heart of frenzy/ Thy butterflies hath blinded thee."

Blinking at Kazuha as though he’d grown two heads, Xiao rubbed his temple. "I’m sorry— What?"

Albedo cleared his throat. "Don't you think it's strange that Venti has not taken a partner or expressed interest in one since meeting you?"

Xiao continued to stare blankly, unamused by the stares thrown his way. "I just don't get what that has to do with this."

Carmen groaned, removing his glasses to slide to him. "I feel like you need these more than I do." Silver eyes squinted at him, unwavering. "What they're trying to say is, you have a shot here! Venti’s focus has been on you up to this point. That means, even if it’s subconsciously, Venti has always chosen you and stuck by you."

Xiao’s heart thumped wildly. Was that even possible? Something like that was just too much to consider. If that were true— If Venti had been reassuring him that his position was secure the whole time. Then… that meant…

"W-wait— If that’s the case, wouldn't he have said something?"

"You never know. He may be just as afraid of ruining your friendship as you are." Albedo shrugged.

"Agreed. People don't just stop all romantic pursuits because they met a 'really good friend'," said Carmen, shaking his head almost humorously.

“Ok, so… Say that I’m even starting to believe any of this… What do I do about it? We still got drunk, almost kissed, and I blew it. How do I fix things?”

Everyone at the table gave a collective hum, like a machine processing all the data given so that it could eventually spit out a final result. Knowing them, they’d give something logical, but Xiao doubted he’d be able to jump into whatever it was.
To his surprise, when the hum died down and Albedo spoke first, the practicality stunned all of them.

“A present?” Xiao turned the idea around in his head.

“Yes. This way, the two of you will have a reason to talk amiably. Once his guard is down, that should give you all the room in the world to apologize. After which, you can get down to the confession.”

Kazuha nodded along. “It doesn’t need to be anything extravagant, as long as it’s sincere it should do the trick.”

“—And as long as it’s not any more alcohol, of course.” Carmen chuckled light-heartedly. “I’m sure whatever you decide on will be perfect. You just need to put yourself out there and let the cards fall where they may.”

“Agreed,” said Albedo.

Thumping in his chest at even the thought of confronting the situation alone, Xiao glanced around the table. Kazuha and Chongyun silently regarded him with soft, comforting smiles, and Albedo and Carmen gave him reassuring smirks that spoke of their faith in him. He supposed all they could do from here was support him.

Reluctantly, Xiao gave a nod, already deep in his head, trying to figure out the perfect gift and rehearse his lines like it was opening night. “I will give it my best effort, but I can’t make any promises the words will come out.”

“May I make a suggestion?” Chongyun suddenly chimed in, hand raised like an eager student in the front of a classroom.

“Go ahead.”

“Why not practice first on Carmen?”

Everyone at the table fell silent, even the sound of eating and clanking material coming to a halt as they turned their attention toward Carmen who was blinking owlishly at first before his face became stop-sign red.

“That’s absurd!”

“On the contrary, it’s very resourceful.” Albedo scribbled on his clipboard in a hurry, eyes gleaming as new prospects shone in them.

“And you do look the most like him as Venti’s twin, it would be the perfect way to practice.” Kazuha smiled, delighted by the logic while Carmen regarded the table with a pleading expression.

“Surely Xiao wouldn’t benefit from something like that if it’s not the real thing!”

“Perhaps not…” Kazuha relented slightly, frowning and tapping his chin. Carmen breathed a sigh of relief.

“All the better for Xiao to practice his subpar acting. This’ll kill two birds with one stone, don’t you think?” Albedo mentioned matter-of-factly. However, having been his friend long enough, Xiao didn’t miss his deceptive smirk behind his clipboard.

“So that’s what this is about…” Carmen sighed heavily, turning to Xiao who searched his expression, confused. “I’ll indulge in this once, but don’t mess it up!”

Xiao nodded, taking note of Carmen’s flustered expression, eyes shut tightly. The calm way his hands folded on the table became a stark contrast to his overall complexion, face growing red. Is he really going to? Xiao couldn’t help asking himself as Carmen’s glasses remained off and he cleared his throat.

“Scene one of one: Action!” Kazuha directed quietly, the three of them making themselves small to try and fade into the background.

Xiao sighed heavily himself, not the least bit prepared and already dreading the incident.

“Thank you for the gift, Xiao! I really appreciated it, ” Venti— No. Carmen started in Venti’s voice, matching the tinkling sound almost to a ‘T’. For a moment, Xiao could only sit there, taken aback until Carmen looked on expectantly, his Venti-like smile beginning to wane.

“Um, no problem? I’m glad you liked it…” he trailed off, glancing at the three watching them, receiving no support but a thumbs up from Kazuha. Regardless, his nerves were still taking hold, maybe even worse than if he were actually talking to Venti alone. 

Xiao steeled himself to respond, “I’m sorry about last night… I was caught off guard.”

“No worries! It was just a bit of fun. We were drunk, after all.” He laughed and Xiao couldn’t help wondering how many times Carmen had done something like this because his acting was making Xiao’s heart flutter vaguely. 

“Seriously, no hard feelings. I’ll forget it happened if you will. ” Hooded silver eyes challenged him calmly, head leaned into one of his hands.

Xiao swallowed around the doubt in his throat, clenching his fist. 

They couldn’t go back to how they were. It was time to take center stage.
“Actually… I was wondering… if we could try again, now that we’re sober…” Heat flooded his face and his stomach turned upside down before he could go any further. Carmen’s face slacked in shock, only making him feel worse.

“I’m sorry—!” He covered his face with both hands, “I’m coming on too strong.”

“‘A’ for effort,” Kazuha reassured him gently.

“Being bold isn’t always bad. Carmen is blushing, so at least you know it’s effective.”

“I’m blushing because this is embarrassing!”

“I’m sorry for suggesting this, I didn’t mean to cause any harm.” Chongyun slumped.

“No, no, it’s fine! Ultimately, it was my choice.” Carmen sighed, squinting down at the table as he too deflated.

“All of that considered, have you thought about joining our troupe? You’re a very good actor.” Albedo looked Carmen over the same way Xiao’d seen him eye good talent on an audition’s sign-up sheet.

Carmen tilted his head. “You think so? I figured that I was more of a ‘tech department’ kind of guy rather than ‘acting ensemble’ material.”

“Your performance was exemplary,” Albedo said, surprisingly without a hint of sarcasm.

“Don’t give me too much credit. He is my brother. We used to switch places all the time before Ven went and dyed his hair.” He promptly put his glasses back on, checking his watch. “That was a really long time ago, though."

“Still, if things don’t work out here, you know who to call.” Carmen laughed warmly, thanking Albedo for the opportunity before the ring of the restaurant’s front door captured all of their attention.

Two, very familiar blondes entered, one holding the door open for the other as she wheeled herself inside. Lumine was bundled up to the nines even though her brother wore a comfortable-looking, lightweight jacket. Aether had probably forced her into the extra layers, knowing him. Xiao understood why; primarily upon seeing the warmth of the restaurant immediately redden her face. 

Carmen was quick to hop up and greet them at the door. Xiao expected to watch a sitcom-esque scene play out, knowing about Carmen’s crush. Except, Carmen kept his cool around Aether far better than he did around Venti. 

Carmen was usually good enough with his words, stood tall, head held high, and with his wits about him. Yet, in front of Aether, he shifted on his feet more, laughing freely at their exchanged pleasantries. Sometimes his gaze would fall toward the floor but his smile was ever present and incredibly telling of his fondness. 

The twins were quickly shown their seats, and of course, stopped by to say hello to their table. Xiao greeted them as fondly as he could, checking in on Lumine’s health, and stopping when she gave him an affectionate punch to the arm, telling him to quit it. In return, she commented he was the one looking pale and insisted that he eat.
Thankfully, while they were there, no one mentioned their previous conversation. Instead, everyone focused on finishing their lunch, chatting about more trivial matters.

Once Lumine and Aether had their fill, they went to their own table where Carmen waited on them. 

After returning to his seat, Xiao spotted him discreetly patting down his uniform and taking a breath. Xiao couldn’t help snickering under his breath, seeing the love-sick boy peeking out from behind Carmen’s pulled-together mask. 

“You look fine. Don’t worry,” he whispered to him.

Carmen huffed nonchalantly, but his red ears spoke his truth. He glanced between their tablemates before whispering back, “He just doesn’t usually show up at the restaurant like this. Not when I’m working at least. I’m used to having a jacket on when I see them. It’s the first time he’s seen me in my uniform.”

 “It’s all black, it looks pulled together.”

“It’s stained. He’ll think I’m clumsy. I can’t help that the drunken late-night guests always find a way to drench me.”

“Now that you’ve lectured me, are you going to ask him out? ‘You never know if you don’t ask him.’” Xiao made sure to ask quietly, meaning to tease him at most.

However, Carmen flustered quickly and his whisper back was a loud and almost squeaky, “No!” drawing unwanted attention that he was forced to laugh off as he excused himself to the kitchen. It didn’t stop the ensuing snickers at the table, but Xiao did his best to settle everyone down for Carmen’s sake.

When they finished eating, it wasn’t Carmen who came to retrieve their bowls and plates, but a young man with blue hair, dressed in black shorts instead of the restaurant's standard black dress pants. He also wore an oddly familiar charm hanging from one of his pant loops, though Xiao was sure he didn’t recognize the person attached to it.

“Hello! Thank you for dining at Wanmin Restaurant! I'll take your bowls and plates if you're done.” His copper eyes, strangely wise, glanced over their group until they landed unexpectedly on the doe-eyed trainee.

“Huh? Chongyun? Long time no see!” The boy’s ecstatic greeting lacked the sincerity his words play at. Xiao was almost sure that— whoever he was —he would have been able to spot Chongyun from the open kitchen.

"Xingqiu? I didn't know you worked here! I thought your father was dead set on you taking over your family’s business. He allowed it?" 

Straight-faced, Xingqiu laughed as though Chongyun was a stand-up comedian. "Of course! In the same way he ‘allowed’ me to go out on our adventures around the city as kids, unattended. Maybe this can be our little secret?"

Chongyun sighed with a grumble. “I’d be more apt to keep it if you’d stop putting chilies under my food. I thought it was strange of Xiangling to forget about my intolerance, but it was you.”

Coyly, Xingqiu inspected the bowl and gasped loudly, “Me? Such child’s play? Never! Oh, they must have fallen in from a different order! We’re so sorry for the mistake.”

Stroking his chin, Chongyun blinked. “Is that so? Hmm… Well, if it was an accident… Still, how does one mistakenly put 5 whole chilies under cold noodles?” 

Xiao shook his head in disbelief watching Xingqiu get away with murder. But, who was he to intrude upon their fun if no harm had been done? Especially, when he was too distracted by the interaction as a whole.

“Sorry! Sorry! Ah, what a waste of ingredients,” Xingqiu falsely lamented, taking their empty bowls and plates. “And to think I’m practicing being a good husband to you one day. Well, I’ll just have to try harder.” He sighed obnoxiously, glancing at Chongyun from the corner of his eye. And just as quickly, his upbeatness returned and he’d started back to the kitchen. “Until next time, dearest Chongyun!”

“Oh. See you later!” Chongyun watched him leave, only to turn back to a table of eyes planted on him. “What?”

Xiao shook his head. “It’s nothing. Although… By chance, was that your boyfriend?”

“Hm? Xingqiu? No, no. Xingqiu is my best friend. We grew up together and we’re still very close— despite his odd sense of humor. Please don’t take anything he says too seriously.” Chongyun waved off the accusation with a flustered smile.

"Is that so?" Albedo’s hum slithered through the smirk on his lips.

"Casually saying he wants to be your husband is what best friends do?" Kazuha followed up, not missing a beat. 

The younger boy began to look like he'd eaten those chilies after all. He held his hands up in an ‘x’ adamantly. "I'm saying it's not like that! Listen to me!"

As his friends mercilessly continued teasing Chongyun, and Xiao took a break from the spotlight, he noticed Xiangling, the Head Chef and owner of the establishment, jogging out of the kitchen with the twins’ orders.

Aether and Lumine seemed to mask their confusion with politeness as they asked where Carmen had gone. 

“He um… had to handle a delivery and won’t be back to the restaurant for a little while! He wanted me to tell you two that ‘it was good seeing you!’” Her cheeriness was only heightened by her slightly awkward smile and the wiggle of her braids neatly fashioned into a bow on the back of her head. Her hands twisted in knots behind her back as she stood before them, making Xiao’s brow arch skeptically.

Aether’s shoulders seemed to sag with a small sigh, but he gave her an accepting smile all the same.

“Well, let him know we’ll come by more often. Your cooking has always been the easiest on Lumi’s stomach.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”

Xiangling laughed, bowing. “But of course! What kind of chef would I be if not versatile? I’ll pass the message along when I see him again—” She noticed Aether re-layering Lumine in her winter-esque attire. “Going so soon?”

“Huh? Uh— Yeah! We have an appointment to get to.”

“Just a check-up! Nothing serious.” Lumine chimed in, seeming to play along to something Xiao wasn’t privy to. 

Sure doesn’t sound like it, Xiao huffed to himself.

Even so, the twins paid and left with their food in a hurry, leaving Xiangling blinking after them. Strangely, a smile curled at her lips as she seemed to hum a plotting tune back to the kitchen. 

Xiao’s attention was brought back to his group as Kazuha stood up, picking up his things as the other two followed his example. “It’s about time we head back to the theater.” He quickly checked his phone, sighing light-heartedly. “We don’t want to be later than it looks like we’ll already be.”

Albedo chimed in. “Agreed. That bus ride is no joke— hm?” The man’s line of sight fell curiously on the other recently abandoned table.

Without a word, he made his way over and picked up a jacket— the same one Xiao’d seen Aether arrive in. Everyone else, not overly concerned, made their way to the door, while Xiao lingered, watching the cogs turn behind pale, blond hair.

“Albedo?”

Pulled from his trance, Albedo blinked up at him. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

Xiao tried not to laugh. “Yeah, I could see that. What about?”

“It’s a rather nice jacket. Very warm inner lining. The leather has been through worse, but it's real and locks in heat. It’d be a shame if he lost it, considering the time of year.”

Xiao nodded along, waiting for the point, but it never came. Only when Albedo slung the jacket over his shoulder, walking to the door, did alarm bells begin blaring in his head. 

“Are you stealing it?!”

Unamused, blue eyes stared back at him incredulously. “What kind of monster do you take me for? I’m going to see if I can catch up to him. Y’know— return it?” He pushed the door open, rolling his eyes. “Just let everyone know I’m coming. They won't miss me much anyway. Sucrose and Timaeus know how to work everything.”

With that, he left, walking past the row of windows before vanishing in the direction of the flighty twins.

Xiao couldn’t help but wonder what kind of mood inspired Albedo’s gregarious actions. Albedo was usually one to trust that lost things should stay where they were found. He’d have done better by leaving it here for Xiangling or Carmen to hold onto until the twins returned for another meal. Just what was he up to?

“Xiao! C’mon, the bus gets here in five!”

He hesitated before pulling his bag strap over his head and making his way out. Aside from whatever Albedo was or wasn’t doing, he had bigger fish to fry. And at least worrying about whether or not they would put him on stage today would distract him from the evening ahead.

Going home was supposed to be the easy part. Xiao just had to get to the store, pick up what he needed, and catch the bus back to the apartment. Simple on paper and an estimated fifteen to twenty minutes out of his day.

Still, making his way down the sidewalk after a long day, Xiao found himself dragging his feet as he headed to the nearest gift shop. His paper plan was thin and his clumsy amateur sketching felt more likely to tear it than follow those sketches to the letter.

It took him five minutes of pacing outside to even gather the courage to enter. The section he was looking for wasn’t hard to find, yet he asked the clerk to point him in the right direction anyway. He didn’t have enough momentum to get through this himself.

Perusing his options, he only drove himself further into a corner, realizing he knew what he’d like to get, but there were so many… types. Would Venti want something bigger or maybe something more versatile? Did the color matter? It’s a good thing the shop was relatively empty because he stood glued to the middle of the aisle like an off-color floor tile.

Embarrassingly, when the shopkeeper asked if he needed anything, he helplessly allowed them to interrogate, and then assist him in choosing from their selections. He bought it outright, not caring about the price, and thanked them swiftly for their help.

“Come again! I hope your friend likes their gift!”

Xiao paused at the clerk’s words, dragging the bag to his side. “How did you know it wasn’t mine?”

The clerk scrambled slightly, “Um— Well this is a gift shop, and you didn’t seem to know much about them. At one point you also muttered ‘He doesn’t need it for that.’ I’m sorry if I’ve offended you,” They bowed.

Of course, Xiao was too distracted by the prickle of heat on the back of his neck to care. “Never mind, then. Thank you.”

He peeled out of the building before the cashier could say more and high-tailed it to the bus stop, ignoring the fictitious, phantom laughter, jeering him. However, it only grew once he arrived at the stop in time to have the bus’ exhaust blown in his direction as it left the curbside without him. 

Too bad that his earbuds didn’t block any of it out on his walk back to the apartment.

Twenty minutes turned into an hour, causing Xiao to scoff to himself that he’d wasted so much time and hadn’t even reached the hard part yet.

If he was lucky, Venti wouldn’t be home. But if he had upset the archons, Venti would be sitting inside, waiting for him to return. Whichever the case, he’d at least have the solitary elevator ride to get his thoughts together.

He took a deep breath, marching himself through the parking garage— which smelled exceptionally better than the other day, a testament to Venti’s hard work that made him smile.

Reaching the other end and entering the lift, he shifted the bag under his arm and prepared to pull the metal gate down. Upon further inspection, looking out into the garage, he swore he heard the celestial punchline to his humorous existence as he spotted Venti.
Just rounding the corner, eyes glued to his phone, his roommate began walking his way, shopping bags in hand. 

Xiao had to blink several times just to keep his eyes from popping out of their sockets in disbelief. He froze in place, still holding the gate down a bit. Venti still hadn’t looked up.

Should he wait? Or call out to him? He hadn’t seen him yet, perhaps this was Celestia’s only opportunity for him to think things through if he closed the elevator then and there. Gods! What had he done in a past life to deserve this kind of torment?

Venti was slowly drawing nearer, creating a hum under Xiao’s very skin. His smile down at his phone weakened Xiao and he couldn’t help but notice that to pull together his beige bucket hat and cargo shorts, he’d worn a dark green t-shirt that fit a little big on him paired with a white long-sleeve shirt underneath. 

Xiao would have scolded Venti for not dressing for the weather if he could get past the fact that he was wearing his shirt, and probably wore it better too.

Something bold and annoying inside of him took his hand from the gate, choosing to wave broadly instead. That same part, afraid Venti would overlook him, called out his name.

His voice bounced off the walls of the garage and he knew he’d reached Venti when he faltered in his step, his bags swaying to a halt. Xiao cursed the way his heart skipped and his mind played a cheesy, marital chime as Venti’s eyes left his phone to land on him instead. When his shock turned into a warm and hopeful smile, Xiao felt his worries melt right into the ground.

All at once, Venti’s smile was drawing closer, the sound of his footsteps echoing loudly through the space between them, and shopping bags swinging haphazardly. He barged into the elevator, hopping to a stop before turning and helping bring down the gate. He beat Xiao to the floor button and the cart began its ascension.

When Xiao looked next to him, Venti was already looking back, as though his eyes had never left him.

“Well, if it isn’t just the man I wanted to see.” Venti’s tone teased and threw Xiao’s stomach around more than the elevator ride. “How was work?”

Considering everything? “It could have gone better. Acting isn’t really my strong suit, but everyone is doing their best to help me get used to it. I wish they’d put as much effort into finding a replacement.”

He’d looked away, vaguely mourning his freedom, when he felt Venti bump shoulders with him, the scent of his floral shampoo wafting over pleasantly. “I think they’re just happy to have you. Your acting could probably use work, but you’re easy on the eyes and your voice is nice to listen to. I doubt they could find anyone better if they tried.”

Xiao glanced at Venti’s genuine expression before quickly looking away again, his ears lit on fire by the seemingly endless flattery. Is that what he thinks of me?

He didn’t have much time to figure it out. Venti was still talking and giving him the third degree. A big surprise to Xiao, seeing as he’d expected something more awkward after last night’s events.

“So… What’s in the bag? Your medicine?”

Oh… Xiao frowned deeply. “I knew I was forgetting something…”

“What’s that?”

“My medicine. I forgot to pick it up. I’ll have to get it tomorrow, sorry about that,” he explained, bowing his head like a pensive child.

“Why are you apologizing to me? Apologize to your immune system! All we can do now is make sure you get some iron in you. It’s a good thing I sort of bought dinner.” Xiao looked up, catching Venti’s lopsided grin as he dismissed Xiao’s behavior.

He showed Xiao in one of the bags, three little boxes and some vegetables strewn inside. “Even if it’s just TV dinners and toppings, it should still satisfy ‘Stormterror’ and friends, right?” Venti chuckled.

“Yeah…” Gods, Xiao’s heart was already thumping with anxiety again as the elevator slowed. “It’s good that it’ll be quick…” He said, feigning interest in the door to avoid Venti’s eyes as he swallowed down his fear. “I have something I want to give you, so the sooner the better.” 

Expecting the conversation to continue, Xiao broke out into a sweat as silence came over them. His mind was quick to frenzy, wondering if he’d been too awkward, Had he said the wrong thing? Had he shown his cards too early? Or, maybe he’d been steered in the wrong direction from the start.

Venti came into view in front of him with a whimsical grin before he could fret himself to death’s door. All at once, the elevator opened behind him, letting the setting sun from their apartment bathe Venti in a warm, heavenly light that mapped out his silhouette like he was Celestia-sent. 

Ready, he lifted the gate. His archon-esque hand took Xiao’s, releasing him from those negative thoughts as he pulled him along, back into the place they called home. And before Xiao could even think about how close Venti had brought him when they stopped, a bag was being waved in his face.

"It seems our minds are in kinds. I got you something, too. It's not just the food."

And just like that, Xiao’d been reassured once more that being with Venti was as easy as breathing.

Chapter Text

Mostly comfortable silence filled the space between them while they got everything out to wash, cut up, and microwave. Xiao insisted on at least seasoning and sauteeing the vegetables. After all, there was no point in eating anything if there wasn’t any flavor. Yeah, that was why. Not his need to delay the inevitable.

Eventually, gifts would be exchanged and that window of opportunity would present itself. He’d air out his feelings, finally putting them into words, and have to face the winds of change head-on. But the words didn’t come easy— not in any clean way. 

Xiao had heard plenty of confessions before— had been on the receiving end of that outburst of emotions that poured straight out, splashing one in the face to leave them shellshocked. 

He didn’t want to do that. Didn’t want to bombard Venti out of the blue. Just wanted a conversation, something easy to swallow, even if he felt like he was drowning the whole time. However, for that to happen he needed time alone to think— which he hadn’t had the opportunity.

Even then, mindlessly sautéing the vegetables, Venti stood beside him, drawn closer each time Xiao scooted away even a little, like a magnet.

It would be cute if Xiao didn’t lose track of every thought in his head when Venti got close enough to touch him, bumping shoulders with him and placing a hand on his back or shoulder as he reached for different utensils and containers… Each time, Xiao melted in his skin while trying to maintain his cool and collected front. 

His last straw lay in Venti’s head resting on his back while he plated the vegetables. He breathed deeply, putting down the spoon and skillet to turn on the other, met by eyes round with concern. 

“I can bring the food to the couch. You should go sit,” Xiao suggested quickly, gripping the counter’s edge behind him.

For a moment, Venti only stood there, staring as if taken aback before taking a step back. Uttering a small, “Ok,” which Xiao took as a go-ahead to turn back away just in time for his expression to crack, plating the last of the food.

“It shouldn’t take too much longer.”

Hearing Venti leave the kitchen and plop on the couch, Xiao secretly wished there was a wall there for him to hide behind. The food was ready, the stage was set, and as usual, he was the only reluctant actor in the play. 

Might as well get it over with.  

He picked up both plates and glared softly at the water glasses. He should have bought wine; though that was why he was here so maybe not.

Approaching the couch, he observed Venti curled up on one end, feet pretzeled into the cushion, barely paying attention to the TV as Xiao set everything down. His eyes penetrated Xiao’s skin like little bullets making him stiffen.

Breathe, he reminded himself, doing so— shallow at best —as he sat down with his hands folded in his lap.

To his surprise, as soon as he did, Venti unfurled himself, rising from the couch to scamper behind the couch and leaving Xiao to follow his movements in confusion. Only when he returned with the bag did Xiao remember its existence— too in his own head to register that Venti had something for him. 

He then remembered his own bag was somewhere else, ready to stand when he was stopped by Venti’s adamant refusal of, “No, no! Me first!” Smiling big and bringing a chuckle out of Xiao that sat him straight back down.

Venti took a deep breath of his own, stretching his hands out on either side, loosening up like they were about to run a race. His hands clapped together without sound and his determined gaze shot through Xiao, making him shiver. 

"Ok, so— First, we should talk. Because I know I wasn’t acting like myself and caused you a lot of trouble. Yesterday was… hard for me. Harder than I’d expected. So, thanks for being there for me and I’m sorry for acting weird."

Xiao shook his head. "No need. We always help each other. That's what friends are for, right? Besides, you weren’t the only one who needed help yesterday…" The sting that 'friends' left on his tongue was getting harder to ignore.

"I guess you're right," Venti said. "We're good to each other that way. You've always been right there when I need you. I guess I'm just sorry that I dragged you down with me. Doesn’t change that I’m glad you were here and wouldn’t have it any other way." Teal eyes gazed over affectionately soft and sweet, sending Xiao's mind reeling. 

Were they there to say the same thing?

His hope nearly jumped from his throat. "You didn't drag me down."

Venti rolled his eyes with a puff of air from his nose. "Yeah, because getting you drunk and making you out yourself must have been super uplifting." 

Xiao boiled in his skin, having forgotten that part. He did his best not to let it show, but the silence that stretched between them was all too telling, as was Venti’s need to break it with his next words.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gay, Xiao?" he asked. A question so easily answerable then, but Xiao still felt the need to hide from it, cheating toward the coffee table in hopes that its blank reaction would give him the courage to speak. 

It was a stupid lie. In hindsight, he’d never made it very believable. He just took advantage of Venti’s trust in hopes that he wouldn’t see the boy who loved him cowering under that thin blanket.

“There was just… safety in being in the closet. Even just a little bit. I wanted to hold onto that.” 

It wasn’t the full truth, but it struck a chord within Xiao just the same. The shame bristled him, anticipating Venti’s upset. Not for being gay, of course, but for being ashamed of one of the things Venti found so much pride in.

It shouldn’t have surprised him that it never came. Instead, Venti offered a hand placed on his knee, gentle circles painted there, and a soft, “Ok.”

“...Ok?”

“It makes sense. You were afraid. That’s the reason anyone hides anything. I’m proud of you for opening up about it. I’m sorry that you had to tell me the way you did, but I hope you know that I always want to be a safe space for you to be who you are.” The corner of his eyes crinkled with his smile.

And how could Xiao not love him? How could he fight with himself in his core every day not to kiss him when his words were this bright and saccharine? Even when Xiao fears the might of Venti’s heart, that is also where he finds the most irreplaceable shelter from harm’s way. If he weren’t so choked up at that moment, he’d have told him so.

The shuffling of that plastic bag brought his attention back Venti’s way, where he found it sat closer to him.

“I wanted to get you something. Not only as an apology but also to let you know how much you mean to me. I don’t want something like what happened last night to get in between us again,” Venti noted.

Xiao hesitantly brought the tiny bag closer, parting the plastic to reach inside and pull out an even tinier box. His heart somersaulted at the velvety thing, turning it in his hand, and he looked back up at Venti, incredulously. He was also scanning the box with a nervous bite to his lip, cheeks colored. 

“I-It’s not a ring! I swear!” He quickly negated, allowing Xiao’s heart to calm, no matter how much it still sank.

“Right.”

“Yeah, sorry— I thought it looked too similar and asked for a different box, but they only had that— And I thought putting it in a grocery bag would help but—!” He rambled, turning his wrist at the box. “Just open it. I’m sure you’ll like it!”

Taking his word for it, Xiao flipped the lid. However, upon laying eyes on the contents he snapped the box shut. He looked to Venti with his eyes wide and jaw dropped. 

“Venti!"

“What?”

“What is this!? ”

“You don’t like it?”

“How much did this cost!?”

His slightly cherubic face scrunched up, thinking it over. “A lot less than if I’d gotten one…” His contemplating face curled into a grin. “But I got three~ ”

“This is too much.”

“Nuh-uh! My big boy money, my big boy choice!”

Xiao flipped the lid again, staring into the box as if the pristine-looking gold necklace would have disappeared after blinking at it several times. Its design was intricate, with a deep, handcrafted mapping for the wings, so much so you could mistake the bird for a butterfly from far away. There were tiny, faux jewels at the tips while still maintaining a classy and simplistic appearance. A practical, Liyuean necklace.

Venti ran his fingers across the top of the box, catching Xiao’s attention. “Speechless are we? I hope that means you like it.”

Xiao shook his head. Like was an understatement. “It’s beautiful… I don’t really know what to say…”

“Mm… How about ‘Venti, you’re so awesome for getting me this,’ and ‘I’ll never take it off?’” The older man laughed at his own audacity before waving it off as Xiao gave him a wary look. “Or put it on. Wearing it would be a great start.”

The box slipped easily from Xiao’s hand to Venti’s as he collected the necklace to unclasp it. "Turn around and let me help you…”

Xiao turned away from Venti, feeling the couch dip behind him. The necklace lowered into vision like a trophy, the cool metal warming quickly as it sat on his skin and made itself at home. 

Everything felt too good to be true. It was clear they’d both wanted to make up, and things were already going well without him having given his gift, yet. Had he really been worrying for nothing?

He turned back to Venti, finding him waiting expectantly— those shimmering sea-green eyes pursuing him and making his ears burn. Venti lightheartedly breathed ‘Beautiful’ while looking at him, practically casting a stage light on Xiao the way it made him melt.

“Now we match!” Venti celebrated, reaching in his collar to pull out his own well-hidden jewelry. The same necklace of gold and gems, but a different, smaller bird— a dove. Simpler than the majestic phoenix-like pendant on himself, but still extremely pretty adorning the whimsical man’s neck.

Xiao knew there was a third— probably for Carmen —but knowing the gift connected them gave him peace of mind he didn’t know he needed after the other night. It put a smile on his face as he glanced at his own gift bag.

“Can I give you mine now?”

Venti gave a wandering hum while tapping his chin. “I guess so… Oh! Gimme your phone first, though.”

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, only mildly wary, Xiao holds it out. “What for?”

“I’ve got something else to show you! I had to give you the gift you’d like before the one you’ll definitely hate,” Venti admitted mischievously before taking the phone, getting into it with ease as Xiao grabbed the bag and came back to sit next to him.

A hand was promptly placed over his face, warmth radiating in each place Venti’s fingers smoosh his features in. 

“Don’t look!”

“... You have my phone.”

“Yeah, yeah, give it a second. Almost… There!” Venti cheered, taking his hand back to smugly toss Xiao’s phone back to him.

In a panic, Xiao dropped the bag to catch it, giving the adorable goblin the opportunity he’d been waiting for to snatch the bag up himself and unravel it. Xiao had half a mind to scold him for his recklessness but stopped short seeing the mischief fall from Venti’s face as he gazed upon the gift in question. He took in a breath and flapped the gift in his hand quickly, bouncing in his seat. 

Seeing tears build in his eyes and his jaw tighten, Xiao worried he may have messed up. It wasn’t much compared to the necklace. But Venti’s wobbling eyes told a different story as they looked at him with the sketchpad that nearly took up Venti’s whole chest held tightly in his arms. 

His voice was thick with tears when he asked, “How did you know? ” 

“You seemed interested in getting back into painting. I thought I’d help you make a decision. Besides, I don’t think the best place to hide your sketches is our closet if you didn’t want me to find out.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you or anything…” Venti mumbled a little, fiddling with the metal spiral of the book as if plucking guitar strings. 

Xiao hummed. “Did I get the right kind? I um… asked for some help and the pages are supposed to be good for ‘opaque’ and water coloring…?” He winced, clearly ill-versed in the art department and doing a bad job of hiding it. Even so, as the words fit foreign and strangely in his mouth, Venti’s eyes only grew softer.

“It’s perfect.” Venti hugged his gift close. “Thank you.”

It felt so much lighter in the room, all of that tension gone, sucked into this floaty hopefulness between them. It was then that Xiao realized the plan worked. They were able to reconcile and the gift exchange had put him at ease, his nerve feeling easier to gather. He’d have to thank everyone later. 

"Venti… There's something I want to tell you.” This was the perfect moment. He’d lay his heart bare the way he’d only imagined deep within the crevices of his mind. “I've been meaning to for a while, sort of.

For a long time now…" he couldn’t help tiptoeing around his words, suddenly empathizing more with those who'd been in his shoes before.

Venti's eyes watched him, looking for something as that smile faded to concerned neutrality.

"I—" A loud chirp from his phone interrupted him, vibrating aggressively in his hand, and making both of them jump. The screen lit up to show a notification from an app he didn’t recognize. 

He went to turn it off and shove it somewhere for later, but Venti chimed in matter-of-fact, "Oh! That must mean you got a match!"

"A… what?"

Venti reached over to tap the notification. "A match! It's my other gift. Open the app, you’ll see what I mean.”

Xiao’s thumb hovered over the notif hesitantly. All of a sudden, he got a bad feeling that sat in his throat, sturdy and solid, and it was like wearing a tie way too tight right before an interview. 

Maybe it was on-set anxiety? He’d have to humor Venti quickly, then get what he had to say off of his chest before he lost his nerve again.

Clicking the notification, he watched the screen alternate to a mostly white platform before a large, pixelated ball of flame took up the screen. The word ‘Cindr’ wrote itself underneath in a stereotypically romantic, red cursive before the rest of the app launched. 

A random person’s selfie popped up on the screen along with tutorial arrows that blinked at him to ‘Swipe Left’ with an ‘X’ or ‘Swipe Right’ with a heart. Xiao knew exactly what this was. Still, he willfully denied the implication seeded and sprouting, as he looked to Venti with confusion. 

“Why did you download this?” He could hear the hurt in his own voice. His mind ran fast at the first sign of trouble, but his heart couldn't take it and asked anyway. He didn’t want the answer. He wanted to rewind the clock— wanted to be faster than this sinking feeling that began to cloud his senses.

Instead, time moved without him as Venti explained how to use the app, what it was for, the features… His rapid speech and enthusiastic descriptions of Xiao’s ‘waiting profile’ threw him off kilter, sending Xiao’s heart tumbling low into his stomach with the weight of his words.

All of a sudden, his ears were ringing, and the shadows that normally only tormented him in the dark began to mock him vividly for feeling safe before— for feeling valued . He couldn’t hear Venti’s voice. He couldn’t see the candid photos of him that Venti had put on his profile. He couldn’t feel anything except the pounding of his heart in his chest, cracking the muscle away from itself with haste.

Then, just as suddenly, there was nothing to hear. Warmth greeted his wrist and a face peered into view. Curious sea green and lips that speak, “You ok?”

Xiao’s lips twitched heavily on his face. “I’m fine.” His skin burned with how easy it was to slip back into the mold of someone else— someone he should have remained — Venti’s friend— his best friend.

Nothing more, nothing less.

“Really?” Venti blinked. “You look like you spaced out.”

“I was just trying to figure out why this of all things.”

“Well…” Venti sits up, hands and sketchbook in his lap. “We’ve spent almost every day together, and as long as I’ve known you, you haven’t had someone special in your life. So, I thought I’d use my social media savvy and help you out.” 

Was there more to it than what Venti was saying? Xiao couldn't tell. His vision blurred with sad blue hues as he followed Venti’s logic. They seemed to have realized the same thing, but come to two very different conclusions.

Venti continued with a hand on his. “You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy, Xiao. I don’t ever want that to be a question. So, I think it’s about time I started acting like it.”

Xiao tried to hold his hand in return and understand his well-meaning words for what they were instead of the cold stone of rejection that pitted his gut. You make me happy! He wanted to scream— wanted it to seep into the walls and thicken the insolation. But he bit his tongue through tears beginning to prick his eyes because that was the last thing he’d want to do to Venti— to overshadow his resolve with his own desire.

It was painfully obvious that though they’d realized the same thing— that they’d been attached at the hip for years— what separated them was that Xiao wanted Venti, had always wanted him, but Venti had never seen him in that light. 

“You…” His throat tightened and Xiao begged his senses not to give him away. He forced a laugh and hid his face with his hand discreetly. “This is insane! Honestly! Who gets someone a Cindr profile?! This is too much…” His humorous tone was acrid on his tongue and strained his vocal cords, making him sound strange— at least to his own ears. 

Venti’s defensive whine gave him the impression he didn’t notice and if he did, he hid it well. “I know it seems like a gag gift, but I really put a lot of thought into it! I’ve been meaning to give it to you for a while now. It just seemed like now was a good time to—!”

“Thank you,” Xiao cut him off, unable to bear any more, numbing his heart into a shell of acceptance. He took a deep breath, but it only seemed to urge his tears to bubble to the surface. He pulled Venti close, holding his head underneath his chin where he could no longer see him, shutting his eyes and letting the pain run down his cheeks and into Venti’s hair. There he briefly kissed the strands— a kiss saturated with his feelings as he vowed to leave the last of them in that moment. 

“I’ll be sure to use the app. I can’t promise anything will come of it, but I won't let it go to waste.”

Venti sighed, seeming to relax and wrapping his arms around Xiao to hug him back. “That’s all I’m asking for. You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but you should still enjoy yourself. Oh!” His voice pitches with excitement. “And if you ever need Carmen and I to ‘take a walk’ or ‘find somewhere to go for the night’ you can just let us know so that you can have the apartment—!”

Xiao cleared his throat. “The food is getting cold.”

“Oh fuck, sorry.” 

Venti automatically slipped away from him, becoming enamored with his plate, shoveling the food down like this meal would be his last. While he did so, Xiao closed the app and pocketed the phone, discreetly wiping his tears as he dreaded the next time he’d open it. 

Numbness greeted him as he tried to process what happened. It was too much, he couldn’t even wrap his mind around it. Maybe it was better that way. He could battle his emotions later, not in front of Venti, possibly in the shower where the water would hopefully scald him hotter than the useless passion left inside him.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he picked up the TV remote and clicked away. “Since there’s time, we should watch a movie or something. Are there any good ones you’ve heard of recently?”

“Yeah… Didn’t you have something you wanted to tell me though?”

He didn’t count on Venti remembering that. “Um… not really.”

“Oh come on, it sounded important. What’s up? You can tell me.” 

No. No, he couldn’t. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, glancing over at Venti who turned toward him.

He couldn’t tell him. Not that. But he’d have to tell him something. He couldn’t make Venti feel unworthy of his trust again so soon. His lips moved on their own in a panic.

“I… Uh, I was hoping you would help me…” Then it came to him, “The play! I need help practicing my lines— If you have time?” His heart jumped in his throat, hoping Venti would believe his quick lie.

“Is that so?” His braids tilted unevenly with his head. 

“Yeah, I thought it would be easier if it was with you.”

Venti hummed with a grin before turning his nose up boastfully. “I’m flattered. I am a busy man though, so you’ll have to make it worth my while.”

“Seeing me make a fool of myself isn’t price enough to pay?”

“Nope~” Venti sing-songed playfully. “How about since you got me such a nice sketchbook you model for me.”

Xiao folded his arms. “You would have drawn me anyway, more than likely.”

“Probably would have helped you anyway, too.” He smirked, holding out a hand. “Deal?”

Easily, Xiao reached over and shook on it, because no matter what he still couldn’t say no to Venti— didn’t want to say no. “Deal.”

“Good. Now hand me that remote,” he said, already moving to lay his head down on Xiao’s thigh, eyes fixed on the TV. “I can pull up a movie for you to draw some inspiration from, so watch carefully because training starts now!”

Xiao rolled his eyes and handed him the remote, silently humoring him. They watch the movie the rest of the night, Xiao brushing through Venti’s hair and the latter falling asleep halfway through pointing out some acting techniques used on screen.

Xiao’s other hand toyed with the necklace’s pendant, absentmindedly looking at the screen but not getting much, all the colors fading and merging around him. Though he felt that heavy numbness he still found himself grateful to still stroke soft hair and watch movies on the couch comfortably. 

He’d avoided the worst possible outcome, even if the necklace left him feeling platonically branded. At least he still had Venti’s friendship and no longer had to wonder how Venti felt.

Xiao wouldn’t stop loving him, he knew himself better than that. Despite that, he cherished their friendship and would put his feelings aside to keep him in his life just like he had before— no matter how much effort it would take to bottle it all back up again.

Maybe he should start looking into nearby apartments just in case he couldn’t. The thought stung his heart.

He’d think about it more later. Until then, he’d enjoy what he had, bury his regrets, and try not to get jumped by all of his friends the next day.

Earlier that day…

Rechecking the bag of goodies he’d brought, Venti stood in front of the door to Scara’s apartment, the uniform beige of it staring back at him as he prepared himself to knock. Scaramouche had already proven to be ill-tempered with a lack of patience, but he at least seemed persuadable, even if he detested the one speaking.

Lucky for Venti, Scaramouche seemed to have warmed up to him just a little after their late-night rendezvous, knee-deep in garbage. As far as brownie points were concerned, he was glad he wasn’t starting at zero, and maybe the brownie, among other things, he brought could earn him more

Reinvigorated he took a deep breath and gave the door a rap, making a tune and hoping for the best as he waited.

The noise echoed in the still, empty hall and Venti couldn’t help the way his spirits waned as the tune faded without notice,  even more so when no one answered the door. He blinked, shifting awkwardly to look both ways.

He knocked again, confused as he then checked his phone where Scara had told him it was fine for him to come over. The time was right, the address was the same, and it was too early for anything to really be open for him to have left. Maybe he’d caught him at a bad time after all…

______

Meanwhile…

Scara’s eyes twitched, unopening as knocking rang through the sparingly furnished living room of his apartment. The tune of it drew him fast away from a pleasant recurring dream where everything seemed right and the nightmares of the world could never visit. Everything he wanted or could want was right there in the palm of his hand, well deserved. 

He rolled further into the couch, away from the sound, desperate to hold onto the scene, but a smack of his dry lips and the familiar, sandy way his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth and his hand batting at his lips onto to find a half-smoked cigarette shattered the dream and promptly forced him back to the waking world. His eyes opened mournfully as he took the useless stick between his fingers and arched his arm without moving his head to snuff it out in the ashtray, twisting it into the other remnants.

It was only a dream. He thought to himself. It always is.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He rolled his eyes over to the door and groaned to himself, realizing that not only did he come in last night and immediately crash on the couch again , but now he had to put on a face and answer the door.

He checked his phone. The day was already shot and it was barely eight o’clock.

Quickly making sure that he was wearing pants and didn’t smell too much like filth, he headed to the door to wearily checked the peephole. He wasn’t expecting visitors or a package. Hopefully, whatever it was wouldn’t take long to deal with.

On the other side of the door, he saw some guy with a bucket hat and familiar twin braids looking down the hall on either side, carrying something. 

Scara’s brow furrowed. What was his name again? Something foreign on his tongue. Whatever it was, it sounded as childish as he looked. 

More importantly, what was he doing at his door?

He sighed heavily and cracked the door ready to shoo him away. Except when he opened the door it looked like the other was preparing to leave on his own and paused in his step upon hearing the door finally open. When he turned, Scara saw any trace of dejection melt off his face. Scara flinched at just how bright his face became as his neighbor’s hopes soared due to his folly. He shouldn’t have opened it. 

And it seemed his brain would do him no favors in fixing it. Instead of immediately telling him off, Scara frowned silently making his displeasure apparent but his stoicism only seemed to prove enough invitation for the other to speak. 

“Good morning!”

“Keep your voice down, would you? Unless you’re trying to wake the whole building?” He sighed, opening up the door a little wider to lean out of it. “What is it you want?”

“Hm? You said I could come over. I texted you, remember?”

“...Right,” he didn’t remember; but he wouldn’t be made a fool of by stating so. “I’m only asking what you’re doing with all of this you’ve got.” He gestured to the bag of snacks gathered in his arms, some even looked to be from a nearby bakery. 

“Oh! I wanted to thank you for your hard work yesterday.”

“Rewarding me with a heart attack? I’ll pass.” Pulling out his phone he checked his message history, finding it hard to believe he approved this interaction himself.

Finding the last reply he squinted at the unknown number, clicking his tongue at the brief exchange.

‘Heyyyy! It's Venti your neighbor! Can I drop by tomorrow? I think I might have a lead on the garbage piler!’

And his response?

‘Whatever.’

Refraining from banging his head on the wall he thought back to when he saw the message. He was stressed, sore, and over-stimulated from digging through other people’s unspeakable— ready to pass out. He thought he was blowing Venti off, but even he could see where someone this bubbly would see it as an invitation.

“So, what’s the lead you were on about?” He questioned, getting straight to the point.

Venti shuffled in place in a very opposite manner. “Well, all in good time. I was hoping we could sit and talk, maybe eat a little bit while we—”

Scara held up a hand no longer interested in what he knew to be a waste of time. “If you don’t know anything then there’s nothing for us to talk about. In the future, I’d appreciate it if you’d just text me instead. We don’t have to do this—” he gestured between the two of them.

Venti tilted his head, seeming amused. “Why not? I think it’s a lot easier to make friends in person.”

“Friends?”

“Yeah!”

“What makes you think that I want to make friends, let alone with you?” He folded his arms now, sizing Venti up as the obnoxious man took a moment to think. The first time he’d laid eyes on him he was wasted, reeking of alcohol, and lacked any awareness of personal space. The only good he’d done was help him fix a shared problem.

Venti tapped his chin, probably knowing the same, that he had nothing to offer. Seeing that, Scara began leaning back inside, ready to shut the door, but Venti suddenly spoke up, fingertips pressing against the door to stall his retreat.

“I’m not here to force friendship on you, I wouldn’t want to do that, but… Last night, you were ranting and raving for hours and I don’t know if it was the heat of the moment but you seemed to feel better after.”

“What’s your point?”

“Did it make you feel better?”

Scara stopped in his tracks, thinking vaguely about it. He hadn’t felt worse after so that was a start. He’d been pissed walking from door to door trying to get answers out of lazy and entitled tenets who couldn’t give a damn about how the place smelled or not, expecting someone to fix the problem for them. Then, Venti helped…

Hand falling from the door, he tucked it under his arm in front of his chest, his eyes flicking away from his persistent neighbor.

“Anything could have been better than how I was feeling— and anyone would feel satisfied after a laborious task, even for a moment.”

“That’s true. Would you have been satisfied if you had to do it alone?”

“Probably not,” he sighed, the sound echoing around them, yet Venti stood unaffected, still just as eager. So, he asked, “You don’t seem the type to lack friends, so why bother me for conversation? What do you want?”

“Hm, I guess I just thought we both might need to talk. And it wasn’t a long walk. So I thought I'd give you a knock.” Scara realized with abject horror that Venti was rhyming as a cheerful smile played on his lips. “Since our garbage troubles have ceased, I thought I’d give you something at least.”

“What’s with the rhyming…?” Scara’s eyes traced back down to the snacks in his arms. “I don’t like sweets or sticky things.”
“I’ve got chips, too, and there’s pigs in a blanket, I think…” He fumbles around for the packaging before holding it out. “The only thing I neglected was something to drink.”

The warm, salty-sweet aroma wafted toward him, making his stomach turn with longing. He hadn’t quite eaten since lunchtime the other day, hunger staved off by the stodginess of his tobacco. 

Fuck it, I don’t mind using someone as a meal ticket. He finally decided, snatching the package and taking one out. His eyes closed with satisfaction as he took a bite and that warmth entered him and the slight spiciness of the meat pleasantly bit his tongue.

“Fine. 1 hour. We can talk while I eat. Do you want tea or water?” He turned on his heels, already headed for the kettle by his stove.

He heard Venti drop a few things behind him, picking them up quickly to come in. “Whatever is fine! Thank you.”

‘Thank you.’ Too sincere, too hopeful. It made Scara’s teeth grind together with a filminess that made them squeak as if he’d taken a donut instead.

---------

Scara, no stranger to regret, had learned to move through instead of allowing it to consume him. Even so, whenever it reared its ugly head around the corner, it still proved to be an eye-sore he recoiled at.

And there in his very living room, it snaked around the corner as he sat trapped in a lively, one-sided conversation while the other person babbled about their problems. He could hardly hang onto one sentence said before another began on a completely separate train of thought.

He flitted from story to story about his friends, names flying over Scara’s head one after the other like wayward darts. He was right to think Venti had no place here with him. However, one name kept hitting its mark time and time again as though each story was slowly crafting one that Venti hadn’t shared; not that Scara cared to listen.

“Who’s Xiao?”

Venti’s chin lifted abruptly at the name, blinking rapidly as if stunned to hear Scara speak at all. It didn’t last long, his smile resumed its position as he took out his phone to show Scara a picture. 

“He’s a lot of things, but you might recognize him as my roommate,” Venti enlightened him, while he barely leaned forward to see the man in question. The picture seemed to candidly capture a man with spiky dark green hair, a few dark turquoise highlights thrown about, and yellow eyes that looked over a stove. He wore a black tank top and seemed too distracted by the meal he was preparing and the music through his headphones to notice the person snapping a picture of him.

Scara had seen him before, maybe once or twice while checking the mail. Seeing him in this light made him turn his nose away. It felt weird— intimate — especially in the way the picture was taken. Just another form of PDA by couples that Scara had no interest in.

“Your boyfriend too, I take it?”

That smile became confused, drawing Scara’s attention for the first time in a while. 

“What gave you that impression?”

“Am I wrong?

Venti gave a quivering laugh of uncertainty, causing Scara to squint.

“Way off. He’s a pal and a confidant, if you will,” Venti claimed. 

Scara’s eyes rolled in his skull. “Sure. You just mention him a lot. Doesn’t really matter to me.”

“Oh… Yeah, no, I’m not really boyfriend material.” The smile slipped completely from his face, his eyes flicking around, falling silent for the first time since being let in.

Leaning back, Scara took time to think, too, because even he knew when he stepped on a landmine. Still, he could use it as an opportunity to get Venti to leave all on his own. He had contracts to go over, deals to close— and Venti’d been there for a good thirty minutes already.

That worked for him, but, the longer he waited for Venti to break from his stupor, the more he noticed the heaviness in his shoulders, the tension he held there as his fingers fiddled together.

Curiosity killed the cat, he knew that; but maybe satisfaction would bring him back.

His hesitation led them to Venti taking a deep breath, putting back on that smile, and fixing himself to sit up straight. 

“I actually wanted to come over and ask you something. I could have texted, but you didn’t seem like you could be bothered to text back if I did.”

So it finally comes out… “Go on then.”

“Right, um… How do I say this?” He seemed to ask himself, brows furrowing as his lips pursed. “I don’t usually have trouble with the words. I guess I want to ask how you do what you do. You just have a lot of… audacity?”

Scara folded his arms, brow raised. “If you came to insult me this is an absurd way of doing it and a waste of both of our time.”

“No, no! I don’t mean to insult you at all,” Venti quickly threw his hands up in defense, batting his coy little lashes. “I thought it was cool!”

Scara grimaced to himself, all thought coming to a halt as he analyzed the word aloud. “Cool?”

“Yeah! You did a lot to make sure that the problem got sorted out. I don’t think anyone else would have. I mean— even Xiao and I just ran straight past—”

“— And your point?” his jaw rolled around, not liking the way Venti’s flattery cut through and warmed him as he tried keeping his wits about him. He wanted something. That was why he was there. Yet, Venti’s unassuming tone continued to butter him up.

“Even drunk I could tell how much it mattered to you. And you saw it through. How do you do that? How do you tackle a problem and make change just… happen?”

Scoffing Scara crossed one leg over the other. “That’s broad as hell, how am I supposed to know? I see something I don’t like and I fix it, if I can. That’s it.”

“Even if it’s within yourself?”

“Of course. If I want something, I go after it. It’s not that difficult.”

Venti’s fists clenched together as that unbearable shine re-entered his eyes. “Could you teach me?”

Scara sighed deeply, fingers coming up to smooth out his brow line. What a waste of time. All this to hear out a pathetic plea for someone of his caliber to stoop to being someone’s life coach. He barely knew the guy! 

He needed to get Venti out of his apartment.

“Look. You—”

A sudden, strong buzzing from his pocket took his attention away, his nose already twitching with annoyance as he took it out to check the number. The Inazuman area code dragged a heavy roll from his eyes. 

Abruptly, he stood with the phone still ringing in his hand and made for the hallway. Venti looked up, concerned but Scara simply held a finger up to him and walked off to take the call.

He wouldn’t be gone long. He couldn’t stand more than a few minutes with her anyway.

Accepting the call he put the phone to his ear, glaring at the undeserving wall.

“Mother.”

“Good morning, Kunikuzushi,” he greeted him evenly.

His jaw clenched at the name, images of yelling in her face not to use it flickering in the back of his head. If it weren’t for his guest, she’d be in for a second helping. 

“What is it this time? Another plea for me to come home? My time is valuable to me so I'll spare you yours. No.”

“You may go wherever you please, my intention has never been to limit you.”

“I don’t need your permission.”

“Correct. However, I do want to advise you that returning to resolve the conflicts you’ve left behind would be more beneficial than running away while others clean up your mess.”

“No one asked you to.”

“That negates that someone still has to make up for them.”

“Let it be anyone else if you’re going to hang it over my head the rest of my life. I’m not coming back,” he gritted, ready to hang up.

“Kuni,” Her authoritative tone made his grip on his phone vandalizingly tight. “If you continue down this road, I must warn you that you’ll become the very thing you’re running from— nothing more than a stubborn and helpless child. You can achieve nothing more with the past weighing you down.”

His breath shuddered out of him quiet as a whisper, from spite or the burn of tears he felt in his nose, he didn't know. This was among the only responses his body could produce through her sheer audacity. He supposed he could tell Venti now where he’d gotten it from.

Instead of giving her the satisfaction and allowing her to poison his life further he said his goodbye in two spiteful words and hung up, “Watch me”

His hand fell heavily as his fist clenched his phone, breathing deeply through his gritted teeth. She just wanted something from him. That was all people ever did,  see what they could get from you.

Speaking of which, he glanced back in the direction of his living room. Just another loose end to tie up.

Taking a deep breath he shook his head, still foggy as his feet led him back. The room felt duller like an empty shell when he reentered. In his growing desperation to ground himself, he went for his cigarettes, ignoring Venti’s curious look from the couch as he swiped them up and took one in his mouth.

“Um—”

“If you don’t like it, the door's that way,” he cut him off, burnt out as he struggled to light the damn thing.

Venti shook his head. “I’m not judging. I just thought you’d want the orange end in your mouth.”

Opening his eyes to slits, he paused, realizing his mistake and the cruel irony of it forced a soft, bitter chuckle from his lips. The cig and lighter were promptly chucked back onto the table then as quickly as care left him. 

In this midst of his rancid mirth, he leaned up in his seat all the way to the edge as he regarded Venti across the way— the only thing in the room that added color; even if that color had its own twisted hues hiding under all the pretty pigment.

“I’ll help you.”

“Huh?” Venti blinked in disbelief before standing straight up. “Really?!”

“Cool your jets. I will. No promises as far as how useful any of it will be. And, I have a zero-tolerance policy. So, do what I say, unless you’re a glutton for punishment, got it?”

“As long as it’s not dangerous or extreme, sure.”

Fair enough. “Good. Now get out of here already, I have shit to do.”

“Wait, what do you want? Y’know, for your help?”

Scara gave him a snide look. “Do I have to want something?” Everyone does.

“No. But, it doesn’t make you bad if you do. I’d like to be able to repay you.” Venti smiled.

Absent-mindedly, Scara scratched his chin, Venti’s sincerity making him itch. “...How much is it worth to you?” 

“A lot. You’re really helping me out here.”

Ugh. He didn’t have time for this— would almost ask for a stick of gum just to get him to leave. “...Let me think about it. I’ll decide what it’s worth when we get to it.”

That smile only grew, all teeth. “Ok~!” 

Finally, he headed for the door, taking all the treats they hadn’t eaten with him with a satisfied pep in his step. Strange. It wasn’t often that people left Scara without grimacing and swearing in his face, calling him every name in the book. 

Not bad. Just strange.

“Thank you, again,” Venti slotted his head back through the door to say, only half of his face visible but his gratitude still evident.

“Whatever.”

The door shut with a final click allowing him to finally get to his feet, rolling his shoulders as he made his way to his office to check his computer. He expected to feel drained, maybe even a little irritated now that everything was over. Yet, the lightness in his shoulders and the looseness of his jaw pissed him off more, especially after having such obnoxious company.

“And he didn’t even have anything on the waste of space piling our trash up like the Jade Chamber tower,” he sighed. Hopefully, his miraculous change of heart wouldn’t get him caught up in another myriad of regrets.

Chapter Text

Carmen sighed heavily, fingers flying in the text box underneath an early morning group chat between Xiao, Albedo, Kazuha, Chongyun, and himself as they tried to get down to the bottom of things. 

Swiping up the opportunity for overtime the night before to try and give his brother and Xiao some much needed privacy, meant that when he got home those two were nowhere to be found and he hadn't heard a lick of what happened until getting in to work. One buzz and a blanket statement from Xiao seemed to confirm his suspicions.

“He's not interested.”

Which led to Carmen quickly ducking behind the counter, reading the message over with his head cocked odd before responding: 

you have to try again

Maybe if it wasn't about one of his closest friends and his brother he'd have quickly accepted it and given his condolences. Sometimes people were just incompatible or not relationship material for whatever case. But between the two of them? Something just wasn't adding up. He’d seen mated birds spend less time together.

I can't.

Kazuha: I'm confused. What happened? 

Albedo: He told you that?

The icon that signaled Xiao was typing blinked for half the minute before disappearing completely. Carmen sighed deeply, knowing Xiao's heart was probably broken and the questioning wasn't helping. He couldn't imagine what had happened, how it must have felt to pour his heart out only to be rejected, especially after they’d all goaded him into doing it. 

But why was he rejected? By his brother who’d been stuck to him like glue since university, of all people? Not a chance.

i know you might not want to talk about this right now, but please don't give up

Watching for customers Carmen peeked over the wooden counter as he waited for a response. He'd have to focus up soon, lunch time was right around the corner.

The three telling dots on Xiao’s end faded in and out leaving Carmen biting his thumb nail as he waited for an explanation, which he doubted would be enough. Maybe if he didn't get an answer this time he'd shoot Venti a casual text… or maybe that was a horrible idea without the context. But then how would he get to the bottom of this ludicrous situation? Was it even his situation to know about?

He pensively blew a long puff of air up, sifting his fingers through his hair, cooling off his dampening forehead just a bit. It may very well not be his business… Even so, he felt a sense of duty driving him to butt in anyway. As far as he was concerned, their happiness was his business.

“C'mon, Xiao…” 

Another moment passed and he shoved his phone back in his pocket, ready to get up and look alive. Then, he jumped out of his skin when his phone vibrated loudly and he fell back to the floor with a wince as he snatched the device back out to check the notification. Without even unlocking his phone yet he saw the preview of Xiao’s most recent message right over top the lock screen of Venti and him sitting outside their old campus with farewell peace signs.

He made me a Cindr profile.

All of a sudden Carmen's lashes felt stuck together as he blinked at the screen. His fingers didn’t hesitate over three words.

HE DID WHAT???

Kazuha: This is… unexpected. :(

Albedo: You’re joking, right? :I

I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s pretty clear he only sees me as a friend.

im going to need you to go into detail! his answer to you was to make you a Cindr profile?! give me a good reason not to give him a piece of my mind when i get off of work!

Don't be mad.

im not mad! just tell me what happened!

Kazuha: I believe your use of punctuation has given you away

Albedo: maybe a little less of this !!! next time 

Please, don't say anything to him. I just need time to think. I’ll get over it. 

Carmen thinks hard. He's not good at this. He wasn't prepared for things to go south, let alone to have to deal with the aftermath, pretending he didn't know, holding back, trying not to fix a problem when he saw one, especially not between one of his best friends and his twin brother.

He responds slowly, rivaling the pace of Xiao's earlier responses as he tries choosing his words carefully. 

i won't say anything to him, but that doesn't mean i'm not going to be his brother… and as your friend, please know that you can talk to me whenever you feel like you can

Kazuha: perhaps the winds of change have blown in a different direction. you'll still get to where you belong. stay safe, my friend.

Albedo: f

…

…

Kazuha: albedo, now is not the time to use that.

Albedo: sry, trying to b quick, gtg

“Hello! Anyone here?” A customer calls out from the other side of the counter, a regular by the sound of it.

He swore, stumbling with his phone like a child caught in the cookie jar as he quickly turned it off and lifted his head while trying to pocket it. “Hi! Sorry— ! Welcome in—”

Blond hair and unmistakable golden eyes greeted him with a sheepish smile, sending him fumbling again for his words as he sat there kneeling.

“Drop something?” Aether offers from above.

“Uh… yeah. I mean— yeah, sorry,” he stands doing his best to remember his work etiquette. “I’ll go ahead and fire up your usual—”

Aether shakes his head with his hands up. “Not today, I'm actually waiting for someone but figured I'd say “hi” and catch up. I didn't see much of you the other day.”

Carmen recollected with embarrassment, asking Xingqiu to handle his customers while he hid in the back. Who knew he'd only be avoiding the inevitable?

“Yeah, sorry we had a few deliveries come in and Xingqiu doesn't have his license yet,” he lied quickly, hoping it was believable enough; didn't want Aether thinking he avoided him out of spite. Maybe they shouldn’t linger on that too long. 

“You said you were waiting for someone?”

Aether blinked as if stolen from his thoughts but his friendly smile hardly wavered. “Yeah, I promised him I'd buy him lunch. Can you believe I left my jacket here yesterday!? He made sure to catch up with me and return it. He’s a real life saver!”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to worry about losing your only jacket, if you’d get more clothes.” Carmen rolled his eyes but shakes his head fondly. “I know you're not worried about people seeing you in the same outfit twice or thinking you have main character syndrome, but it'd be nice to have a back-up.”

“You might be right, but, until Lumine gets a little more stable, I've gotta hold off on spending. I'll be sure to get a decent second jacket when the time comes. You don’t have to worry so much as long as I hang onto this one.”

Carmen chuckles and nods along, just barely noticing the ring of the door opening behind Aether. “She's really going to get on you about your frugality if she finds out.” Aether sighs, hand to his face knowing what he does.

A hand suddenly greets his shoulder and both of them look at the newcomer who's walked in. There Carmen is shocked to see a familiar platinum blonde.

“Albedo?”

“Carmen.” The man in question gives a genial nod to him, a little out of breath but controlled enough to turn to Aether and smile as a greeting. “Were you waiting long?”

“Hm? Oh, no, not at all.” He watched Aether’s smile soften, his eyes suddenly locked on Albedo in a way that suddenly made him feel uneasy, like he was seeing something he shouldn’t; or maybe something he didn’t want to. “Do you know what you want? I'm having trouble deciding.”

“Hm? Don't you come here often though, with your sister?”

Aether's cheeks changed hue rapidly as he laughed off his little white lie. “Ah— Well, I get something different depending on my mood, so I just haven't really decided yet,” he made up quickly, as Carmen tried to hold his smile in place.

“I see…” Albedo seemed to accept his answer before turning to Carmen. “Do you have anything sweet available at this time of day?”

“Our sweet options are pretty limited, but we have plenty of fruits and Xiao would always recommend the Almond tofu.”

Albedo sighed, “I guess it wouldn't hurt to see what all the fuss is about. Two almond tofu, please and thank you.”

Carmen mechanically wrote down the order before looking at Aether. “And for you?”

“Um… just that is fine,” he chuckled awkwardly before turning to Albedo. “We should find a table.”

“Of course.”

They both left to sit in the corner and Carmen couldn’t help but stare after them for a moment. Albedo pulled out his seat and Aether took it, they awkwardly chatted but it seemed to flow enough that they kept at it, laughing the rough spots off, eyes lighting up as they continued. They’re just having lunch, and yet... 

His throat felt tight and he had to clear his throat quietly as he headed for the kitchen. He knew what this was. He wasn’t stupid. Deep down though, he didn’t expect it to happen; didn’t think they couldn’t still make things work because Aether hadn’t been the one to hold them back. 

He sighed, the note crumpling in his hand as he tried to clear his head. Checking his phone one last time to see if Xiao would respond, he scoffed when he only saw his own words in his earlier reply. “ i know you might not want to talk about this right now, but please don't give up”

“I should really start taking my own advice.”

On a bench in the park, the sun hardly beating down through numerous clouds, Xiao shrunk in his seat. The leaves had only just begun departing from the trees, not even brown yet, Fall only just peeking in before it would wave Summer goodbye.

He sighed, looking at his phone screen as though it would change the empty text box on its own; a fitting response eluding him. What was he supposed to say anyway now that things had panned out for the worst? Everyone had helped him up to this point and he hated to put all that hard work to waste, but he couldn't keep beating a dead horse over this pipe dream that Venti had wanted him, too.

They’d all just have to accept that it was over.

Instead, he’d try to repack those feelings and move on, painfully, slowly, but surely. It would be hard, and in the back of his mind something shouted it would be impossible. Especially, now that he’d used that particular out to back peddle from making the biggest mistake of his life. 

He was going to teach Xiao to act, and hopefully that would help him appear less wounded.

As if on cue, said best friend came strolling down the path, taking his sweet time as he stepped to the beat of something playing on his earbuds, drawing nearer to Xiao’s bench. The oversized T-shirt that revealed a sliver of shorts beneath them he wore made Xiao raise a brow. His bare legs were on display, thigh tattoo peeking from underneath. The only thing weather fitting about his attire was a jacket Xiao remembered tucking away in their closet. 

Then there was the ominous whistle he wore around his neck that sent alarm bells blaring in the back of his head. 

Perhaps asking his friend with a love for the arts was a miscalculation on his part. Venti’s shenanigans usually spelled doom for his comfort zone; even if he usually knew which buttons not to push too hard, Xiao always ended up doing something… “different”.

He still feels his anxiety creeping up when Venti stops in front of him and takes out one earbud.

“Hello~ Ready for your training?” Too chipper and smug.

His brows creased. “Why does it sound like you’re about to drag me into untold shenanigans?”

“Why does it seem like you have so little faith in me?” Venti questioned back, his smile belying his evasion as he swiftly ignored his attempted interrogation. “Now, if you’re done questioning the process, let’s go for a walk, do some people watching.”

“I thought we were doing acting practice?”

Venti rolled his eyes, but still managed to smile as Xiao persisted. “We are. People watching is an important step to any creative process. You can learn a lot about how to get into character by watching and studying real people.”

“Couldn’t we have just watched a movie?”

“Did you learn anything from the one we watched last night?”

If Venti hadn’t mentioned it, he probably wouldn’t have remembered they watched a movie at all; there were plenty of reasons he hadn’t retained much. Shaking his head in response to appease him, he watched Venti smile triumphantly and offer his hand. 

“Then stop asking , follow my lead, and start doing .” Xiao sighed and reached out to grab his hand, frowned at its familiarity— the way their hands slot together like calloused little puzzle pieces. 

Ven began pulling him along, looking around left and right. There weren’t that many people out but just enough for Xiao to feel awkward being dragged. He moved to Venti’s side, trying to blend in more, but lamented the fact that it just looked like they were holding hands.

“Alright, first things first, what character are we trying to embody? What are they like?” 

Xiao mulls this over, thinking about the plot and lines he’s memorized so far. “A warrior— duty driven…” he tapered off to think. “He's stoic in nature but it seems he has a yearning side to him. There's something he wants but that he doesn’t pursue.”

“Why doesn’t he?”

Xiao shakes his head, doesn’t know. “He ponders it often but then thinks of what he is, a hardened tool for war, happiness and the like seem far away when you have blood on your hands and want to do the right thing. So, he pushes those desires down, acting unbothered.”

“Hmm… How? What does he do?”

“He’ll bring up something and then suddenly, “Forget it. It means nothing to me.” or “I don’t concern myself with…” this and “Desire? I have no desire” that.”

Venti’s steps slowed considerably. “Sounds like he pushes others away to keep up a facade, probably afraid that he’ll ruin whatever comes close. You see those characters a lot in stories. It's interesting to see the protagonist with that archetype, though,” the next part was said slightly under his breath but Xiao caught just enough “I guess that’s why they… you”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind— just rambling. Ok! So…” his cool, spring gaze scopes the scene. “We need to find someone who is stoic but longing. See anyone like that?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Start looking! Here,” Venti plopped down on a bench and patted the seat. “Just look around for a bit.”

Sighing, he sat down next to Venti, looking around at the park and its inhabitants. The brightness of a Sunday morning made him squint as he took in his surroundings, birds chirping and gathering on the sidewalk and in the trees until someone walked by and disturbed them, the wind blowing by and making zip up his jacket, drawing his attention back to Venti when he tucked his knees under his shirt in his seat.

He should have worn pants. He found himself worrying in the back of his head. Oblivious to his now hurried search for a subject so that they could make their way home soon.

Skimming over children running around screaming as they played and fell for no particular reason, floating over couples walking by as bitterness clouded his reason, and paying no mind to the elderly getting in their morning steps; he found nothing matching his quarry. He hardly expected to find similarity between the warrior he’d play and a jogger as he nearly discounted them, until… 

Not quite within the park but across the street, jogging by the windows of various shops, he spotted someone, insignificant at first but peeking his interest in with their actions. They slowed outside of one of the buildings as if caught in a trance, a cafe Xiao hadn't seen before. 

He expected them to go inside but they stood there, staring, frowning as they tossed an idea around in their head. They patted their pocket for something, digging through each before slowly giving in, head leaned back gloomily. Then, as if snapped out of a trance, they shook their head quickly, dismissing whatever thought they had and beginning their jog anew. 

However, this time they took a hard left, crossing that street to run through the park instead. 

As they grew closer Xiao could see the hardened, determined look on their face as they focused, breathing and pushing themselves to run fast and far away from that shop, as well as the temptation that had drawn them to idle.

“Looks like you found someone,” Venti’s voice made him jump, part of him having forgotten he was there. His mentor leaned closer, eyes lit with curiosity. 

“A jogger, probably deciding between a breakfast donut and a diet.”

“Interesting!” Venti acknowledged it like it was the most intriguing thing he’s said, which made him roll his eyes. “What about them?”

“Nothing much, just they seemed conflicted but determined. Maybe if someone asked them about it, they’d deny having wanted the donut at all.” 

“And how can you use that to play your character?”

Xiao sat with the question for a moment, sort of knowing the answer and not at the same time. How could one compare the desire for freedom of a warrior to the hankering impulses of a jogger? Having one donut wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Or maybe that was just his own justification? Maybe the fear laid in the possible overindulgence and inability to stop once it’d been tasted. If it were that…

Glancing over at Venti, he found him looking at his phone, bobbing his head to his music, probably giving Xiao time to think instead of forcing him to figure it out with an audience. Because he cared, and Xiao knew that, wanted it more than most things. When he looked at that ball of sunshine, the shoes of that jogger suddenly slipped on, fitting like a glove. Like a helpless passerby he stood at the window, looking in, longing for something he already told himself he couldn’t have. 

Now that he’d gotten a taste— a crumb— could he walk away with the same steadfastness of that jogger? 

Knowing what he knew now, he understood why one would resist. He commended those who could above his envy.

The very object of his desire looked back up from his phone, smiling invitingly as he checked on him. Smiling with lips he’d nearly kissed. He looked away, had to, with all the feeling welling up inside, telling him to kiss him and wanting to despite knowing better. 

Yet, temptation tapped his shoulder and bid him to look again.

“Maybe writing it down will help. Then you can move onto the next one when you feel like it.”

“The next one?” he asked while looking at the sky, the birds, the ground— anything but his face. “Do I need more than one?”

Venti's smile was pitying then. “Silly Xiao, most of us might have the same range of emotions: desire, duty, guilt, and all that; but we’ll all handle it differently. You need to decide how you're going to interpret things when the time comes. It’s better to have options now.”

Understanding, Xiao nodded and did as Venti said, writing his thoughts in his notes app before seeking out another subject. Only… he saw someone that made his blood run cold and his body stiffen like stone.

Just walking down the sidewalk at first, her deathly, floral red eyes focused on the path, a long way away from Xiao. Her long brown ponytails swayed with the breeze. Even then she wore the same hat her late grandfather gave her and paired it with dark brown attire adorned in compliments of dusty golds, browns, and whites. Though, just like her eyes, the red popped in her undershirt, socks, the floral ornament in her hat, and the ends of her dark hair.

She looked older, more mature, even as she presented her unkillable smile while walking with her niece by her side, hand holding hers as if she were a decorative purse. She probably has a job at her family’s funeral parlor— 

— Nevermind that. He needed to focus on avoiding her attention, especially with Venti there, it would only spell trouble. Turning to his bench mate, finding him back into his music, he poked at his shoulder, earning his little raised brow as he side-eyed him, taking one earbud out.

“Hm?”

“Can we switch seats? I want a better look at the people on that side.”

“Oh,” Venti smiles none the wiser, getting up. “Sure thing.”

Xiao scooted over quickly and Venti took his place, blocking his view of the avoided party and allowing him a sigh of relief. But his heart still raced, she wasn’t gone yet, so the most he could do until then was pretend to people-watch like he had been. 

Little did he know, with his poor luck, he’d set himself up for failure the minute they switch positions.

“Venti? Is that you?” He practically jumped when he heard her familiar voice, turning his attention to find her standing just a few feet away from their bench, eyes on Venti and not him. 

…Huh? He peered over to his companion and saw his eyes light up and his friendly all teeth smile come out.

“Hu Tao! It’s been so long!” 

She nodded, fist on her hip. “At least five times in four years I think of thee! A lovely new duet, possibly even between us three. And now that I see you two, I have one question: What brings you to Liyue?”

The gears in Xiao’s head began to turn in annoyance as he saw where things were going. He should have known they knew of each other to some degree with this kind of energy. As he reflected on this, Venti stood brazenly, using his phone as a microphone.

“Well, if one must know, two lonely brothers wished to see more of the world and found themselves turned to three with a Liyuean companion. Searching four grand apartments before finding a five-star just outside the city.” He bowed when finished and Hu Tao clapped joyously.

“Impressive! Just what I’d expect from a fellow poet of your caliber. I’m glad to hear I’ll have someone else in town who shares my passion.”

“As am I~” he agreed, beginning to chat her up.

The two all but forgot he was there as they shot the breeze, catching up in such a hyper speed pattern, Xiao couldn’t hope to get his foot in the door to stop it. With a heavy, yielding sigh, he closed his eyes and prayed to every god that it would be brief.

In the middle of pleading for strength and resilience there came a tug at his pant leg, causing him to open his eyes. There he found the little girl Hu Tao had been walking with, staring up at him with a blank face, decorated by magenta eyes. Her lilac hair shaped her head in a fluffy bowl cut, bangs hanging in her face even as she peered up at him. She’d gotten a lot taller since the last time he’d seen her. 

He nodded to her in greeting, holding out a hand to her, surprised when she took it and continued to stare. As she hardly blinked, concern made its way up his throat.

“Something wrong?” he asked, not sure what else to do. She didn't look ill, but her stare caused him unease anyway.

She shook her head slowly. “Qiqi remembers you… You make the monsters… go away…” She spoke slowly as if trying to remember what she wanted to say as she went.

Trying to connect the dots he stared back at her, lost, until he heard Hu Tao’s laughter draw close and she came to squat next to Qiqi.

The child leaned away from her before she even spoke, already displeased. “Still afraid there are monsters under your bed? Is that why you sneak into my bed even though I tell you I’ll eat you?” Hu Tao smiled mischievously, wiggling her fingers.

At this, as though she’d already made up her mind, Qiqi climbed the bench and then to his lap, the three of them watching until Xiao is forced to hold her, making sure she doesn’t fall.

Then like a crewmate leaning over the side of a ship at a raging kraken, she pointed directly at Hu Tao. “Auntie. Monster.”

Hu Tao gasped in horror, Xiao’s eyes widening as a realized Qiqi was tasking him with “taking care of” her Aunt.

“How mean! And after I let you eat ice cream for breakfast this is the thanks I get?”

“Oh…” Qiqi suddenly lowered her hand, sitting back against Xiao. “Qiqi forgot.”

“Qiqi forgot a lot of things!” Hu Tao whined as though she wasn’t the adult in the situation and Xiao couldn’t help covering his mouth to hide the smile he cracked. It reminded him suddenly of those days they’d come back from school and she would challenge him to a round of video games. The bet was always that if she won he’d do her homework. She would always pre-celebrate her win on their way, just to lose and whine that it wasn’t fair as they ended up doing it together.

She hasn’t really changed.

Lightness rested in his chest , amused by the scene and her presence. Until those deadly eyes found his above the young girl’s head and she rose slowly and foreboding from her spot. Remembering himself, he swallowed thickly, he braced himself for her wrath. 

“I suppose I’ll have to deal with you later. I have bigger fish to fry. Like this shrimp who slinks around not showing his face for… four years now, is it?”

He sighed, already tired. “I was in college.”

“Being in college doesn’t stop you from messaging your best friend. If I didn’t know the reason why, I’d have grounds on that alone to bury you.”

Shelling up, he nervously glanced over to Venti who watched beside him, tilting his head. All of this was new to him— should be at least. He wasn’t proud of it, but he didn’t want to involve the other in his mess. If she was hell bent on grilling him, it can’t be in front of him of all people. 

“I’m sorry, I feel bad about it, but could we talk about this a different time?” he nervously pointed his eyes over to Venti again, hoping she would get the message. Yet, her hands fisted on her hips defiantly. 

“In another 4 years?! I don’t think so,” she immediately rejected, sinking his heart like a battle ship. Then, as if a lightbulb clicked, above her head, Hu Tao’s gaze flicked between them,  skepticism growing. “Don’t tell me… Are you two on a date?”

Her words punched him in the gut and somehow this was worse than anything he wanted to prevent. 

“N-No!” Too loud, Qiqi covered her ears, making him shrink. “—Sorry, um no, we’re just…just…” Why was it harder to come up with the truth? Did they look like they were on a date?

Above his disquieted thoughts, Venti chimed in, “I’m teaching him how to act.” Saving him the explanation.

“Oh—! Wait, what for?!”

“There’s an upcoming play going on at the theater he works at. He’s not usually an actor, but let’s just say he fits the part a little too well to be spared.”

Glaring lightly at the tease, he sighed, going to elaborate. “They’re still looking for someone else. I may not even have to go on stage.”

“Oh? And how many other stoic people with martial prowess and polearm training do you know of, hm?”

“That’s not the point!”

“He’s got one though,” Hu Tao piped in before snapping out of her thoughtfulness to turn on him again. “And besides that, this is a fine time to discuss this then!”

Without hearing another word from him, she snatched Qiqi up from him, sidling over to Venti. “You!”

One of his delicate hands pointed to himself, confused. “Me?”

She then plopped Qiqi down in his lap and grabbed Xiao by the wrist with such a firm grip it dragged from his seat before he even realized he was following her. “Take care of that will you? We’ll be back~!”

He looked between her and the bench getting further away several times, panic growing on his face. He hoped his face gave off enough of a “Help me” to the boy on the bench but his roommate just waved him off with an apologetic smile. Qiqi mimicked his waving, too, rubbing salt in the wound as they sent him off to his doom.

With a reluctant sigh he allowed her to drag him off; not too far away but definitely out of ear shot. Once they made it to another empty bench, Hu Tao unceremoniously threw him into a seat. He winced at the harsh landing, scrunched up face following her as she took the seat next to him, arms folded and legs crossed. 

“Now that we’re alone, do you mind telling me just why you ghosted me?” The word cut sharply through him, rivaling the guilt already there.

“I didn’t mean to.” 

“Then enlighten me.” She glared his way. “What stops you from contacting your best friend just before you’re set to go to college?”

His fist clenched, the bitter taste of the pasty coming back to haunt him on his tongue. A taste of his own medicine. He forced his fingers to slack, his expression meeting the ground. Even through the glare he could feel her bitterness turn to curiosity. 

“You already know.”

“I don’t know anything until you tell me,” she pointed out. “I’ve always speculated, but I’ve wondered, too.”

Even with her practically carrying him through the conversation, speaking on it was still proving difficult. The guilt kept the truth down like bile even with the answer at the tip of his tongue. Each moment it threatened to come up, the old habit of keeping it down kicked in.

Tao shifted in her seat, unfolding to lean over and look at his face, her pigtails going to one side. “I’m not mad anymore if that’s what you’re worried about… You were allowed to say no. I guess I just didn’t think you would at the time. I know better now.”

The words were meant to comfort but his head sank further. “I ruined our friendship, of course you’d be mad.”

“Huh?”

“I… saw how much it hurt you.” He finally turned his head to face her, his words still coming in short but the bile-like feeling passing. “It wouldn’t have worked out, but I never wanted to reject you that way. I never thought you’d have seen me as more than a friend. I… saw that it crushed you. After that, I felt things change between us. So, when I went away, I thought it’d be best if I wasn’t in your life.”

She stared at him silently, regarding him as if he were some interesting species of bug under a magnifying glass. Searching her face, waiting for her to say anything, he hoped he answered her for all the evasion and hurt. The phone calls he ignored. The texts he never opened. His absence at her birthday parties he never missed before.

Maybe it wasn’t enough, when he thought about it. There had to be more he could say or do to explain himself and apologies. But what could he say? There was still a part of him that felt being out of her life was better than blundering his way through an unsatisfactory explanation.

“I um… also found out I was gay a couple years back,” he offered, feeling stupid for revealing that as if it held relevance. To his surprise though, Tao raised a maidenly hand to her forehead, leaning back dramatically. Her shrill gasp spiking the hair on the back of his neck.

“No! Xiao is gay!? I would have never guessed in a million years that my completely platonic male friend was gay! Say it isn’t so~!”

His face reddened as she basically shouts his orientation from the rooftops, passersby looking in their direction.

“Keep it down! What if I aired out your business in your hometown, too!” He scrambled to silence her, but all she did was avoid his batting arms and laugh. Gritting his teeth bitterly, he watched her suddenly pull out her phone, tapping and scrolling for a moment before showing him the screen.

“Go ahead and tell the world! My girlfriend is super cute— I tell everyone about her whether they like it or not,” she grinned cheesily, caught in her own world as she described the young… familiar looking woman next to her in the photo. It looked like Hu Tao snapped a shot while catching the pink haired girl working, glasses on in a dimly lit room. She looked up at the camera, confused, her spring green eyes staring down the lens, and Xiao realized with startling clarity that he’d met already.

“Yanfei?”

“Yes~ My beautiful Yanf— Wait, how do you know about my Oleander?!”

“Your what?”

“That’s what I call her,” she suddenly slipped back into that obnoxious dreamy look, rapid firing her explanation at his head like bullets. “It’s a flower known for being toxic! If ingested, it causes vomiting, dizziness, diarrhea, and sometimes cardiac arrest! Which is exactly how I feel when I look at her… Those eyes could make any girl swoon to death!”

Xiao stared blankly, trying not to roll his eyes. “Anyway… I know her from work. She’s our treasurer and often gives us pro bono legal advice.”

“Wahhh! I nearly forgot she did that. She’s always flitting from one place to another. Hard to keep track of all the services she performs.”

Yeah, Yanfei did always seem like the hardworking type, and she was a renown lawyer outside of everything going on at the theater. Xiao wondered how she dealt with being so busy. If Tao’s picture was anything to go by, Xiao would guess it had a lot to do with a lot of sleepless nights.

Besides her though… “I never would have thought you were gay.”

“Honestly? Me neither. Though, I used to get on you pretty good about rejecting all those girls in our class. They were always so cute and you were just a little heartbreaker,” she teased as if talking about a toddler in their “terrible twos”.

Xiao scowled. “It’s not like I wanted to hurt them.”

“I know that. I knew that pretty well, actually.” She breathed, seeming visibly calmer, almost nostalgic as she looked out at the world as if it’s some sort of recollective mood board. “Which is why I wonder sometimes what made me… y’know. I guess I just thought “we” made sense at the time. The rumors about us being together didn’t help either.”

He nodded in understanding, her eyes drawn back by the movement. “I just thought there was something I wasn’t seeing. And I guess the image that you were somehow… unattainable made me want to see if I was the exception.” Her gaze lowered then, hands folding into her lap. “If anything, I feel like I was the one who ruined our friendship. That I made you so uncomfortable you decided going to college somewhere else was the perfect way to get rid of me; like I was just another girl who wanted something she couldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry that my actions made you feel that way… I should have talked to you about it before now.” Hu Tao shrugged it off and it made Xiao realize she’d probably thought about this a lot. 

“Eh, we were just dumb teenagers. Let’s just let bygones be bygones, hm?” She pulled out her smile, not an ounce of malice or hurt behind those eyes, hopeful as she held out a hand.

Xiao blinked for a second, wondering if it was that easy. If things could just be that simple. Then he remembered how Hu Tao always brushed her knees off when she fell, not batting an eye at the little things said around her. Always being unshakably herself; just like someone else he knew. 

The memory allows him to breathe then, reaching out to take her hand and shake it firmly.

“Hatchet buried.”

She grinned. “Pushing up daisies!”

The corners of his lip turned up slightly then. “I missed you, Tao.”

“Aya! You’ve grown soft haven’t you?” She let go of his hand in false despair, relaxing on the bench with an arm over the back. “Is that because of him?”

Xiao ventured to look back at where they left Venti and Qiqi, only to find them sitting crisscross applesauce on the bench, Qiqi in his lap as he braids her hair; she had that same blank expression but  her brows are pulled up just enough to be interpreted as awe. From the way Venti’s eyes were closed, swaying gently as his lips moved, Xiao knew he sang to her as they waited.

“Yeah, I guess so…” Who wouldn’t become soft around someone like him, who could sway someone’s very nature with a song? 

“So~ How long have you two been dating?”

And, just like that, the color faded from the world as the question reminded him that Venti’s affection was hues away, never to mix with his. The other day’s events sucked the bright blues, greens, and yellows right out of the scenery. He turned slowly away from that beautiful moment, head foggy and sounds muted as he tried to remember why he was there, entertaining their forced proximity. 

Hu Tao asked something, didn't she?

“We’re not.”

“Hm? Oh…” She falls silent and his smile is gone.

Suddenly, he remember wanting to go home— to be anywhere but there. How was he supposed to stay by Venti’s side if he couldn’t even handle a simple question anymore? If just the reminder leaves him this lame, like he’ll collapse at any moment, how will he function? 

“Tao, I think I…”

“Need a wingman? Say no more!” She practically jumped from the bench, Xiao’s head jumping with her.

“That’s not—” Hu Tao’s hand covered his mouth, promptly silencing him as he gave her an annoyed glare. 

“Don’t worry, I know just the thing. I’ve been setting a lot of my friends up recently. Just follow my lead.”

She held out her hand again, still feigning an ask. If he remembered anything, Hu didn't ask. Even her confession had been a blanket “You and I should make this official,” just waiting for him to accept it.

But this plan of hers, whatever it was, wouldn’t work, he knew it wouldn’t, he’d already given it his best. His hand twitched in his lap, knowing it would be harder to get her not to meddle now that she’d already made up her mind. 

“I don’t want to screw things up with him, Tao. I just want us to be ok.” 

Hu Tao paused where she stood with her hand out before straightening her hand vertically to bring it down over his forehead in a scolding chop. “If you keep thinking that way you’re doomed to repeat history. If you don’t live your life with a bang, pop, pow-! It'll be over before you know it! The worst thing that can happen is you find out you’re not compatible. You’ll find someone else.”

“He doesn’t want me, I’m just a friend to him.”

“Have you asked him?”

“I-!” He stopped, knowing he chickened out of it— but it had been so clear to see. Would it be any different? “He made me a dating app account as a gift.”

Hu Tao cringed, her body shuddering from head to toe like a vexed cat's hairs raising on its back. “Ohh…kayy… That’s rough. But—! It wouldn’t hurt to sus out the situation a little more. Just give it another week— Ask him! I’ll do my own investigating, too, just in case you lose your nerve.”

“I don’t have a choice do I?”

“The only price for not following one’s heart is regret, my dear protege.” She winked.

If Xiao could sigh any heavier he’d fall through Teyvat’s crust. Taking her hand, he accepted begrudgingly, unsurprised when he’s ripped from his seat yet again.

“Wonderful~! Let’s march towards fate with open arms!”

“Sure…” he followed, stumbling over his misgivings as he dragged his feet. There was still little hope in the back of his mind that surveying the scene a week longer than the years he’d had to do so would change much, but he supposed it couldn’t hurt to have Hu Tao see things for herself. 

Even so, with all of his doubts, his heart beat quickly again with more direction. The red of Hu Tao’s knuckles as they clutched his hand caught his eye, that warm spark igniting him until his face was just as bright and flushed as they approached Venti once more and his smile welcomed them before they’d even made it. 

Xiao hid just a little behind Tao now. There’d be no going back now that color had started to return to the world and the hope in his heart was relit with it.