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Chapter Text

Perhaps a piece of him knew, deep down, that the course of his life could change in a matter of seconds by solving a difficult chess problem. The simple movement of one single piece could change what would have been a menial life trapped in the wrong body, into that of one of the most powerful men in the world. 

After cocking his head to the right as he stared at the white queen for a while, biting his bottom lip, he gently moved it, his hands trembling as he did so. He had become good at the game, often being mocked by the others that he easily trampled. But once his family had caught wind they had decided to blow it out of proportion, after all a girl who was good at chess was something spectacular. Especially at a time where it was frowned upon. 

He continued to look at the intricacy of the move, realizing that the initial idea he had would have ruined the rest of the game. The sound of expensive oxfords hitting the floor began to fill his ears and he froze in place. 

“Mister Janus, it would be a  great pleasure that we would have the backing of Providence for such-” Both the voices and the sound of footsteps faded as two figures strode from around the corner. One the dean, who carried himself as though he were above the status. The other scanned the room carefully, as though he were assessing any hidden traps that could be present.  He was frozen, only able to take a single step back from the light in an attempt to hide his face. 

The stern blonde straightened up, his gleaming white pin of what looked like an origami bird of sorts catching the light. His gaze was locked onto the chessboard. “Young woman,” he spoke flatly, his voice laced with a faded European accent that the student hadn’t been able to figure out as seamlessly as he had figured out the chess puzzle. 

“That is Joanne Swardes, my teachers assistant. Don’t mind her” Her . The dean of the university referring to him as a woman made him wince, but after years of having to put up with people calling him a girl he had learned how to hide the look of pain on his face. It became as though he were hearing someone talk about another, a sense of detachment. 

Janus ignored the comment from the dean, striding over to where the student was standing. As though he could sense the change in his facial expression. “What is your name?” If anything the comment was more of a middle finger to the dean who had just informed him of this fact. 

“Joanne,” he spoke again, or rather coughed out from the pit of his stomach, the older man shaking his head and folding his hands behind his back. 

“Don’t play me the fool.” His voice was stern, he had heard lie after lie in his arduous career. Despite how glorified it was in film, the life of one trained in the art of espionage who had tried to walk away from it was tired of hearing lies from those around him. “What is your name?” 

There was a slight twitch at the edge of the student’s lips and he finally stepped into the light. His features became illuminated by what felt like a spotlight above him. “Arthur. My name is Arthur Swardes,” he said with feigned confidence. The words still took a while to form on his lips, as though he had never said it before, only written it. 

The older gentleman nodded in respect, still refusing to extend his hand. “Mister Swardes, is this your work?” Janus asked as he gestured to the chessboard with his left hand. Arthur took careful note of this as he continued to watch the other man. 

“Yes.” This was the first time in the conversation that he had actually had any kind of confidence. Even his name felt foreign to him but knowing that he had done something like this was of another world. The other man raised his eyebrow, whether it was positive or negative was up in the air. 

“Impressive.” His voice didn’t falter but only retained some kind of air to it that indicated that he was in fact impressed with the move that the young student had made. He paused for a second, “Would you be willing to accept an invitation to a game with myself, Mister Swardes?” 

Arthur only blinked in confusion, whomever this was had the deans full attention and now of course had humiliated him in front of a lowly student. Not only a student but a transsexual student, who he had taken careful precaution to ensure that he would address him as though his biological body were the only thing governing his gender. 

Just as he had moved the chespiece in the first place, there was something about this seemingly small or unimportant interaction that would ultimately change the course of his life forever. “I would be honoured.” Arthur was doing everything he could to keep himself from lighting up the room with his smile. Not only being validated in his gender identity but also having his intelligence not only noticed but put to the test by someone clearly equally as clever as he. 

ϕ

Holding out the folder, the pile of money burned beside both mentor and protege, Arthur was hesitant as he reached out and grabbed it. Pulling out the small slip a smile came to his face. A death certificate for Joanne Swardes with a report being that she was killed in a tragic house fire. Unable to be rescued after succumbing to smoke inhalation, once the roof collapsed there was no hope at the fire crew 

“I thought it would be fitting.” Janus finally spoke, leaning against his ornately decorated cane. The intricate gold designs glistening from the flickering fire, the cool blue of the night surrounding the two of them. “It is time for you to rise from the ashes.” His voice was filled with pride. 

“I’m glad the sentiment isn’t literal,” Arthur responded as he thumbed over the folder carefully. Clearly he had some kind of aversion to opening it immediately. Janus however gave him the space that he needed in order to mourn his former life, something the elderly constant had done years prior in order to shield his past from the world.  However it wawa a mutual understanding between both of them that for both Providence and the KGB alike sacrifices must be made, and identities changed more than once. 

However the emotions crossing Arthur’s face was something that would be perplexing to anyone unfamiliar with the life that he had made for himself. “I will miss them,” he finally spoke up, his voice cracking ever so faintly 

“Even if they have rejected who you have become?” The question asked by the current constant of Providence seemed to be rhetorical, as the other didn’t bother to answer. Perhaps he was far too lost in his own thoughts. 

Arthur looked up, ultimately changing the subject to something that was more palatable for him. “I take it you still have your title of chess grandmaster among the top architects?” 

Janus only shook his head. “Unless of course you ever wish to admit to beating me, my title still stands.” Arthur only dipped his head in respect as though he were unwilling to take away his mentor's throne. 

“That was a long time ago, you have beaten me since.” He responded with a smile. Arthur gripped onto the certificate with a smile tugging on the edge of his thin lips, he tossed the paper into the fire and watched as it became one with the golden ashes. The smell was horrific, however the two of them suffered through it for the sake of the poetics. “I can... Never thank you enough,” he finally managed to speak, his voice beginning to crack slightly from how overwhelmed he had become. 

“There is still one matter to attend to.” His mentor spoke carefully as he dug another piece of paper from his pocket. As opposed to the grandeur of the death certificate this was nothing more than a glorified sticky note, folded unevenly among the edges as he gently began to press it back to its original position. He held the paper out to Arthur who once again took it without question, his brow furrowed. “I realize that you don’t want to fully abandon your family, but there is no sense in putting them at risk. This is the lesser of two evils.” 

“Edwards?” Arthur questioned as he read the paper carefully. “An Anagram?” His mentor nodded while Arthur wiped the beads of sweat beginning to form at his hairline. 

“Not as much of a reference to the epic of your namesake.” He chuckled, there was something about the rare moments where his mentor would laugh that would cause Arthur to smile in turn. 

“Arthur Edwards.” He spoke without faltering for a second. It was only the sudden jutting pain that caused him to be ripped from the magic of the moment. The paper with his new name fluttering into the flames alongside the ashes of the death certificate. It was when his hands started shaking that he immediately took note of how horrible he had been feeling. 

His mentor continued to speak on but the words didn’t hit, it was as though his hearing had been replaced by a single high pitched ringing that was only getting louder as time wore on. “Are you feeling alright?” Janus finally asked something that got through to the younger man who tried to shake off the woozy feeling that was completely filling him. 

“Probably just drank a little too much.” Arthur lied despite his better judgement telling him that it was probably not in his best interests to do so. HIs mentor’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. Figures. 

“You have had nothing but water all night.” His eyebrow raised and Arthur only shook it off taking a couple of steps over to the staircase leading up to where the other archians had gathered. That’s when the searing pain in his abdomen began. With every heartbeat the pain grew until he was unable to ignore it. 

Gripping at his core, he gasped as though the wind had been knocked out of him by some mysterious force. He leaned against the intricate stone railing  trying to catch his breath but instead he only collapsed further into the fetal position. Defying his age by his movements, his mentor was quick to catch him before he could hit his head. Cane clattering to the ground. 

Placing a hand on Arthur’s forehead, Janus removed his hand as he called out to the guards who only rushed about like chickens fleeing from a hungry fox as they scrambled to find a stretcher. The only sounds that filled Arthur’s ears was a high pitch buzzing, as though the world around him were beginning to face away to nothing, his eyes threatening to flutter closed. 

“Stay awake.” Janus was oddly calm while watching his student falling to pieces in his arms. The makeshift stretcher arrived seconds later while Janus didn’t leave his side, both of them were carted to the hospital while Janus barked orders to get the EMT’s ready once they landed back in civilization. 

Arthur’s breathing was raspy, broken, as though his whole body were giving way under him. Janus only gripped his hand as the helicopter began to take off. Despite the cries from the guards demanding the top controller get himself into a seatbelt, he refused to follow their direction, only clinging onto the clammy hand of his student as he was given oxygen through a yellowed mask. 

“You cannot die here.” He ran his thumb over his students' knuckles gently as they took off into the stormy sky, the helicopter beginning to jerk around from the slight turbulence. Janus remained unmoving throughout all of it as though the sight of his apprentice falling to pieces was enough to keep him from so much as jerking around. “You have a destiny to fulfill.” 

Chapter Text

The slow melody immediately made Arthur want to ask the young man at the front desk of the concert hall if he would be willing to dance with him. Perhaps the idea of one night where he could dance with someone without the worry of them having to know everything about him appeared to be appealing. He had taken too much time wondering if he really wanted to become the next top controller, despite how long he had taken training for it. He would after all never have a normal life, a family, his entire world would be devoted to providence. 

Staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, he could not stop seeing the ugly scars that married his skin under his three piece suit. Even the small dove on his lapel was unable to shield him from the truth just underneath his clothing. It is not as though he were not thankful for the life saving surgeries that had taken place but rather the loathing that they had to happen at all. 

Giving himself one final glance he straightened the rest of his outfit out and strode through the doors and into the hallway. Putting on his regular professional facade, he continued to carry himself as the powerful man that he was. Emphasis on the fact that others had been addressing him as sir rather than having to ask for his preferred pronouns which was something he was ever so thankful for. 

“This way, Mister Edwards.” The host spoke cooly as he held open the door for the providence herald, both identified and protected by the white dove on his lapel. It was in the fleeting moments where those looking at him would refer to him as a male that gave him the idea that perhaps this was true to his own biological makeup. His own genetialia being a cruel reminder that prehaps he were an imposter in the male sex.

Stepping through the ornate velvet curtains, he stepped into the grand theatre. As though he were a child stepping into a planetarium he immediately scanned the area with awe dripping off of his face as the golden hugh began to paint itself onto his discontentedly feminine features. 

Janus, who had turned from speaking to the conductor while he heard his student  enter into the grand auditorium, turned with a pleasant smile. “Good evening Arthur.” He spoke, hearing his preferred name still felt strange as he approached his mentor, dipping his head in respect. 

“Good evening,” Arthur responded, snapping himself out of his stunned appreciation for the ornate decor. His mentor only chuckled as he continued to watch Arthur scan every single little artist[s brushstroke of the building. 

“I had the same reaction when I first was invited to attend as well.” Despite only being in his late sixties, Janus sounded strangely sentimental. Arthur had picked up on this small intricacy and turned to try to assess why he had made the comment he did. “As though you have seen nothing but inky darkness and have walked into the light.” 

Immediately Arthur froze upon hearing the phrase, it was not the first time that he had heard the analogy and the connotations for him were nothing but palatable. Janus of course reacted in kind. “Apologies, I know how sore the subject can be for you,” he spoke as his protege took out the breath that he had been holding, nodding faintly. 

“I will have to face it someday or another.” No matter what people seemed to spew his way Arthur never lashed out, never truly displayed his boiling anger that he kept under his skin. Perhaps it was all those years he spent pretending to be something and somebody he was not. Hearing the solemn nature in his voice as he spoke, his voice beginning to break ever so slightly. Something that Janus has heard time and time again. 

As he music began to fill the room in its own hypnotic tune snapped Arthur from the pain of his memories as he continued to listen. The pain still evident but beginning to wash away with every note. The sweet melody lulled him away into some memory of a past that was not his own, especially once the female vocalist began. Despite the lyrics being entirely in Italian he could feel the hallowed words deep within his soul. 

Janus seemed to appreciate the way his student doted on every single note, he however did feel as though it would be rude to interrupt such diligent focus. Although, he didn’t regret the choice of venue. Especially since he had never had the honour to be able to visit such a place with only a plus one. “You will be the most powerful man in the world,” Janus muttered as he strode over to his protege who was so focused on the music. 

As though he were snapping out of a trance, Arthur turned around and faced his mentor with a smile pulling at the edge of his worn features. No matter how many times he heard himself being referred to as a man he always felt validated despite the biology that told him otherwise. “I doubt that,” he countered as he looked down at his shoes. His mentor placed his cane under Arthur’s chin so that he was looking up again. 

“You are. Eye contact gives you power, not just the privilege the partners have given to you.” He paused for a second as he allowed his cane to support his weight once again. “They are intimidated by someone of lesser status being more intelligent.” Janus finally finished as he let out a pained sigh. Arthur could tell that the supposed honour of being Providence’s top controller was slowly whittling away at the chessmaster’s sanity. 

If anything the music backing their conversation allowed for the long silences between the two to not be completely awkward. Arthur this time was the first to speak up. “I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me.” He paused “Especially-” 

“It is genius.” His mentor cut in without a moment of hesitation. “I have spent years disguising my true identity while who you were, Arthur, was put to death, and you rose from the ashes. The-” He paused, not knowing how to continue on for a second. Which was something that Arthur had rarely seen. “The trans-ing of your gender, is truly your greatest strength” He finally finished  it was something that he had said time and time again but like an unruly teenage boy his protege never seemed to commit it to memory. 

“Even if it almost cost me my life,” he stated as he rubbed his arm beginning to burn up with shame. It was clear from the attitudes the partners had about his near death experience due to the botched hysterectomy that they wished that Janus had picked another as an apprentice rather than someone so fragile. 

His mentor coughed, deep and wet as though something were trying to emerge from deep within the recesses of his lungs. Possibly due to the years of smoking he had indulged in, despite doctors practically begging for him to quit. “Their moods were sour for fear of losing you more so than how fragile you are. You mustn’t believe that the partners blamed you for the infection. It was hardly your fault,” He spat in turn, Janus more than just airing his growing dislike for the way the partners had treated Arthur. 

“They will never respect me as they do you,” He commented in turn, as though he were somehow signing his resignation to be next in line for the promotion of a lifetime. Perhaps part of Arthur’s sentiment was true, despite the hours that he had slaved working towards bettering himself in the world. 

Janus turned to face him once again, a pleasant smile on his face. “You must earn their respect in your own way.” He paused as the music came to a crescendo and finally ended. The two spectators gave a round of applause despite how deep within their conversation that they had become. A new song began shortly after, without a moment of hesitation.  Janus turned back, shaking his head. “You will make plenty of mistakes, this is part of being human, I can only guide you so far as to not repeat those that I made in the past.” He spoke as he gently began to take the ornate dove pin off of his lapel. 

Only watching on in confusion, Arthur turned to him as Janus studied the origami dove as though he had never seen it before. “A symbol of peace. I always found it quite ironic.” He spoke to no one in particular. However he took a step closer to his student with a deep inhale. “I have long since considered how to exactly preface this, but I believe you are ready for the torch.” 

Shaking his head, Arthur threw up his hands in an attempt to tell his mentor to stop. “It was only a mere month and a half ago since I almost lost my life to an infection, let alone the snide comments I received from some of the other heralds. How am I supposed to -” 

“That is for you to figure out. As I once did.” He chuckled dryly, almost trying to calm his student’s insistence that he wasn’t ready to take on the role of Constant. “Your future is in your hands, and further the future of providence is in your hands.” He spoke as Arthur lowered his gesture of mock surrender. 

Arthur could only nod in turn, his mouth full of sandpaper preventing him from being able to speak as his mentor carefully removed the pin on his lapel and replaced it with the one that was previously on his own. There was nothing all that different about it, other than the pearl sheen it had emphasizing the beauty of the figure of peace. He looked back up as his mentor placed the other in his pocket. 

“I suppose this isn’t a celebration of my recovery then?” Arthur finally spoke up, his voice filled with a new sense of conviction. As though if he were to act as though his insecurities had melted away they would do so. 

“Perhaps, but I already arranged it with the partners to hand you the reins tonight. You will have the pleasure of making their acquaintance in the morning.” He bowed his head faintly as though he were giving respect for a superior, which perhaps Arthur was now to him in some senses. Taking his mentors hand, Arthur shook it as though it needed to take place in order for the agreement to be settled. 

A momentary pause settled between the two of them as the music continued to echo through every ornate detail in the music hall. “I am proud of the man you have become.” Janus finally spoke as the song ended and in perhaps his most unprofessional move since first being adopted into providence Arthur threw his arms around his mentor, who embraced the hug in turn.