Archive of Our Own ^beta

1.

Lance likes to pride himself on the fact that, despite not being able to keep his shit together during horror movies, ghost hunting doesn’t—particularly scare him. Ghosts themselves? Oh, yeah, terrifying. Ghost hunting , however, is a different story and one Lance vastly enjoys. Sure, sometimes it did spike his anxiety a bit—or alot—and sometimes he did genuinely fear for his life, but it was fun and Lance trusted his crew and that they would be able to handle whatever creepy ectoplasm got thrown their way.

Then, because some higher being loved a good laugh, he met Keith.

Keith, Lance is certain, has a death wish. Or is an adrenaline junkie. Or, like—he’s not exactly sure, it could be his obvious disbelief in ghosts that gives him the idea of false security that has made Lance’s ghost hunting much, much more terrifying. 

Actually, Lance has no idea why Keith had any interest in ghost hunting in the first place—it’s very obvious that he doesn’t believe in ghosts at all —but...well, their views have skyrocketed ever since Keith joined him as co-host after Hunk went to college. As Allura loves to point out every time Lance is contemplating strangling him and his dumb mullet. 

Part of Lance thinks Keith is a demon. But that’s a conspiracy for another day.

Why is Lance convinced of all this? Well.

“You’re worrying over nothing.”

“You’re going to anger them.”

“Bet.”

“Keith—”

Lance watches, utterly horrified, as Keith cups his hands around his mouth and shouts into the hallway, on the verge of a singson, “Hey ghosts, I know you’re there.”

He lets out a frustrated noise, “You’re going to get us killed.”

“No,” Keith insists, “because the ghosts are cowards .” Then, louder, “ Cowards! ”

“Keith. Keith. Please think about any horror movie with ghosts and tell me if they have ever been cowards.”

A pause. “Cowards attack other cowards.”

Lance’s face goes slack, his flashlight lowering, as he drawls, “ Wow .”

Keith crosses his arms, “I’m not wrong.”

“You’re not,” Lance turns to continue down the hall, “and I hate it.”

Lance will admit, however begrudgingly, that despite all of Keith’s antics, they haven’t actually been attacked by the ghosts. Which means he’s either a lucky charm, or the ghosts are just as terrified of him as Lance is. Both of which seem unlikely to Lance, but if he was a ghost, he’d hide from Keith’s bad fashion sense alone.

So.

2.

Lance wants to take back any and all sentiments he may have had towards Keith.

“ Keith, I swear to God --”

Keith, predictably (and infuriatingly), ignores him. Lance can practically hear the evil gears in his head turning, as he stands next to him, watching the light. “I’m not doing anything.”

“ Yet, ” Lance accuses, “You’re not doing anything yet .”

“What makes you think I’m going to do anything?” 

Lance jabs a finger between Keith’s eyes, “I know your ‘ I’m about to mess with Lance’ look. That --” Keith blinks, “ that is your ‘I’m about to mess with Lance’ look.”

Keith blinks and slowly moves Lance’s finger a safer distance away from his eyeballs. “I don’t have a ‘I’m about to mess with Lance’ look.”

“Yes,” Lance insists, “Yes you do. And you are making it. Right now.”

Keith’s eyes slide back to light. Back to Lance. “I feel like I have to mess with you now.”

“You don’t. You have agency , Keith.”

A shrug. “I also have shit impulse control.” 

“I will be your impulse control. Don’t do it.”

“You are making this more and more tempting.” 

They stare at each other. Lance quickly realizes that his battle has been lost, even before Keith turns his attention to the shadowy darkness, calling out, “If you’re wanting to kill us—” Lance makes a scared, pleading noise, “—turn on the light.”

Lance makes a series of incoherent noises, hands waving frantically in front of him. “ Why . Why would you do that?”

The light flickers on.

Lance stands up, “Nope.” Keith snickers as he walks away, shaking his head and repeatedly making an ‘X’ with his arms. “ No. Nuh-uh. You can get killed in the freaky house by the ghost alone you asshole .”

“Ghosts aren’t real.”

Lance tenses, gestures to the light and the basement around them. “Are you kidding me?” His voice is an octave above his normal decibel, “If you didn’t believe in ghosts, why the hell would you—you—” he makes a frustrated noise, making threatening grabby hands in Keith’s direction. 

Keith simply shrugs, “You believe in ghosts.”

“And?!”

Another shrug, “You’re cute when you’re riled up.”

“I—” Lance gapes, “You—Keith.”

“What.”

“That’s not—you don’t—I cannot believe you’re flirting with me like a middle schooler. You do not scare someone shitless as a show of affection.”

Keith stands from his chair, walking away from the—the traitorous light that still shines above them. Lance crosses his arms in some petulant gesture, narrowing his eyes into a glare as Keith walks up next to him. “You’re fine.”

Ignoring the anti-climatic declaration—and their proximity—Lance jabs a finger at Keith’s torso. “You don’t know that. There could be a ghost behind me right this second—because guess what?” He throws his hands up, “They want to kill me!”

“You’re fine.”

“At the moment.”

“Lance.”

“Keith.”

“You’re fine.”

Lance scrunched up his nose, “Doubtful.”

“Would you like to leave?”

“Very much so.”

Keith chuckles softly under his breath, “C’mon, scaredy-cat,” he shoulders his way past Lance, making his way to the stairs, “before the ghosts get you.”

3.

Lance has seen lots of weird and terrifying stuff during his time ghosthunting. But this, he thinks, has to take the cake.

He sweeps his flashlight along the floor of the room, frowning at the red, intricate chalk drawing on the floor. “I cannot believe,” he mutters, “that we found a summoning circle.”

“We should get candles,” Keith says solemnly. 

Lance elbows him. “One day you’re going to get yourself killed, and I’m going to tell you ‘I told you so.’”

“I could go sit in that circle and nothing would happen.”

“False!” Lance points at him, “The demons will take you as a sacrifice.”

“No, they won’t because—”

“They don’t exist,” Lance waves him off, “yeah, yeah.”

A pause. “I’m gonna sit in it.”

“No, you’re not.”

He hums. “Think I will.”

“Keith,” Lance grabs him by his shoulders, stares into his eyes, and says, “You’re a dumbass.” 

“Thank you.”

“I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not.”

“ Goodbye .”

“Lance!”

“What? Scared ?”

“No,” Keith looks over at him, “it just wouldn’t be as satisfying without you freaking out.”

Lance throws out his hands, “Why would you—you— argh .”

Keith’s lips twitch up in amusement. “It’s gonna be fine.”

Lance wants to believe him. Lance also wants to leave. But, as the Rolling Stones so eloquently sang, you can’t always get what you want. So.

Keith walks over to the cummoning circle, walking around it and leaning over it and examining it from every angle. Lance frowns, wondering why he can’t get his terrible idea over with and instead insists on drawing it out—at the sake of Lance’s anxiety, at that.

Finally— finally —Keith pauses and gracefully sits down in the middle of the circle. Shifts slightly and leans back on his hands. A few moments pass. 

Nothing happens. Keith drums his fingers on the floor and calls out, “Cowards.”

“What is up with you calling ghosts cowards?” Lance mutters, “You’re only provoking them.”

“They’re cowards ,” Keith repeats, like that answered Lance’s question. 

“For the love of—” Lance cuts himself off, making frustrated hand gestures in Keith’s direction. The other man just crosses his legs at the ankles and loosely wraps his arms around his knees. He shrugs. Lance was getting really tired of his shrug. “You’re going to get killed.”

“So you’ve said. However,” Keith looks at the summoning circle for a dragged out section, then back at Lance, “Oh, look at that,” he drawls, “nothing happened.”

Lance turns up his nose, “Maybe it’s because there were no candles or incantation.”

“Okay, Lance.”

He crosses his arms definitely, “Or you’re just known in the underworld for taunting ghosts and demons, so they don't care.”

Keith blinks and drawls, “Wow.”

“Demons are real,” Lance says, adamant, “and they don’t like you.”

“I’m flattered,” Keith snickers.

“Now get out of the summoning circle before the anxiety throws hands,” Lance shines his flashlight just shy of Keith’s face out of spite. He rises from the ground, brushing off his jeans as he makes way over to Lance.

“Wanna get a burger?”

“Only if you buy,” Lance remarks, “I deserve prepaid, crappy take-out for the heart attack you caused.”

“So demanding,” Keith teases. Lance, ever so mature, sticks his tongue out at Keith, earning him an eye-roll. “Wow. I’m scorned.”

“Good,” Lance teases, “We should get Wendy’s.”

“What? No, if we're getting bad fast food, we get McDonald’s.”

“I’m sorry, who had the anxiety rush here?”

“ Fine, drama queen,” Keith teases right back, “Wendy’s.”

Lance grins.

+1

In hindsight, it might not be one of Lance’s smartest ideas. But he’s petty, and smitten, and certain that if Keith gets to flirt with him by messing with him, Lance has the right to do the same. Except, he knows for a fact that Keith is not one who gets scared easily, let alone of ghosts and demons, since he’s made it obvious he doesn’t believe in them. 

Lance is still convinced that ghosts and demons are scared of Keith, so any prank including summoning ghosts or demons or faking it is out of the question. Actually, Lance isn’t sure what Keith is scared of in the slightest, which only adds to the looming umbrella of this being a bad idea—the umbrella that Lance more than happily ignores.

His first idea was clowns, but Allura informed him that Keith is startlingly indifferent to clowns in all forms and that Pennywise is one of his favourite fictional horror characters. His next idea, zombies, was shot down by Pidge when they informed him that Keith actually very much liked zombies and trying to scare him with them was pointless.

“You could just, you know, ask him out like a normal person,” Hunk had said when Lance proposed a Chucky costume, “instead of trying to scare him shitless.”

Lance frowned, “But this is our thing.”

“Lance,” Hunk said, like he was talking to a child, “you’re not going to be able to scare Keith, just ask him out.”

Shiro was next, who informed Lance that he’s never seen Keith get scared by a horror movie, game, book, or theme park in his life. He patted Lance on the back when he pouted—he’s certain Shiro and Hunk were in this together, because then he encouraged Lance to just talk to Keith like he normally would.

“I normally tell him he’s a dumbass because he’s taunting ghosts.” Lance informed him.

Shiro just blinked slowly, “Wow.”

So, here he sits. Sulking on the couch in his and Hunk’s apartment, that taunting umbrella completely covering the sun.

“Hey, buddy,” Hunk tentatively says as he’s getting ready to leave, “Allura and I are going to that bakery down the street—wanna come? Might cheer you up.”

“No,” Lance huffs, “Keith and I are gonna hang out.”

“Oh!” Hunk brightens, “Did you finally ask him out?”

“ No ,” Lance pouts, “We’re just going to the carnival before it closes. We always do something after recording an episode—especially if he does something dumb like go through a weird tunnel in a basement.”

Hunk smiles, amused. “Ah. So you’re upset because you’re going out with Keith?”

“I’m upset because it’s not a date .”

Hunk’s smile breaks into a grin, “Okay, Lance,” he opens the door, “have fun with Keith.”

Lance just grunts as Hunk leaves, then checks his phone for the time. He should get going, too, if he doesn’t want to be late.

Or you could just, you know, ask him out. 

“Hey, Keith?”

Keith looks over from where he’s very seriously contemplating whether the ferris wheel or more carnival games would be the better option to do next. “What?”

“Do you wanna go out sometime?”

“We’re...out right now.”

“No, like,” Lance hesitates, “on a date.”

“We...have been going on dates?” Keith says, edging on a question.

Lance blinks, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah? We went to a buffet after the fiasco with the light, burgers after the summoning circle—” He makes an exasperated noise, “We’re at a carnival, at this very moment, and you just won me a lion plushy.”

The pieces click in his mind, “Oh my God .”

“Did you—did you not know that’s what I meant when I asked you to go out?”

Lance groans, hiding his face in his hands, “ No. ”

Keith blinks, “Well, fuck.”

“I thought you were just trying to make up for making me scared!”

“I was!” Keith agrees, “But I also—meant it as, like, dates.”

“I’m so dumb,” Lance grumbles, “what the hell Keith.”

“I...probably should’ve made it more obvious.”

“What? No,” Lance shakes his head, revealing his face, “no, it’s fine. I probably—could’ve said something sooner.”

A pause, “So, uh, is this a date or…?”

“Yes!” Lance shouts, drawing some gazes from people passing by, “Please.” 

Keith smiles softly. “Cool. Uh, while we are realizing we suck at communication,” he says tentatively, “You’re...alright with me...messing with you during the episodes, right? I can stop if not—”

“ Dude ,” Lance interrupts, “I mean, yeah it freaks me out but in, like, the haunted house way. Scary but in a good way?”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Lance grins, “Also, I vote ring toss so I can beat you again.”

Keith scowls, “Ferris wheel.”

“What,” Lance nudges him, “Scaaared?”

Lance can see the small impulse control Keith has fly away. “No,” he grabs Lance’s hand, “I’m gonna kick your ass at ring toss and then ferris wheel.”

“You can’t beat someone at a ferris wheel , Keith.”

“ Bet,” Keith retorts, shooting him a smirk.

Lance snorts, speeding up so he’s walking next to Keith. “Do you think we could convince the producers to do an episode at a haunted carnival?”

“ Lance. ”