Archive of Our Own ^beta

Splayed on the couch, Changkyun was watching television.

The white skin of his stomach poked out of the careless shirt thrown over his shoulders, for good measure, and to tone down any nagging from his flatmates, as he stretched on the sofa, flexible as a cat.

Changkyun saw the screen more than he watched it, displaying some flashing images of a new match-making show. He didn't particularly like match-making shows, per se, but truth be told, he felt too lazy to change channels and had already been sucked into the superficial love stories of the unknown people whose faces he wouldn't remember the next day. 

And, when said people started kissing each other, it bugged him to no end, despite his vehement non-investment into their pixelated lives.

Because, as close as the strangers would get through the episodes, they were still just that; strangers that lived together for barely a week. It made Changkyun feel lost and irked, seeing one of the couples share their first on-screen kiss. They dived for each other, without any care in the world to even take the time, explore or feel the other against them. 

To say the truth, he kind of felt sorry for these people, yet also envious. Changkyun had never really minded physical touch, to some extent. Some comforting pats or a good night hug, kisses on the cheeks as a penalty or lounging together lazily.

But Changkyun never had someone he wanted to make out with. He had never felt the need to lick down someone's throat and drool all over his own chin, like he would see on tv, brain gone numb from watching such stupid images.

It was a mystery, for the soft-hearted rapper, that people could just kiss and not discuss it beforehand. How could either of them know what the other needed? Seeing them clumsily make out, wet sounds caught by the mics and camera lenses zooming impossibly close right to their very tonsils; it all made Changkyun so, so perplexed.

Because Changkyun imagined a kiss to go slow. He imagined it to start as a peck, shy, bashful, a taste of the other's lips. He imagined staying there, breath dying against his philtrum and washing over the linked mouths in a sort of benediction. He imagined moving together, rubbing the lips, just to feel them more, imagined having his head cupped, lovingly, fingers fanned over his jaw and playing with the hair that had long grown past his neck.

Changkyun couldn't picture a kiss that was not sweet nor attentive to his own needs; couldn't even bear the phantom sensation of an intruding tongue forcing its way into his mouth. He wanted to go slow, not kiss a stranger. Maybe it was a bit of an old-fashioned way of thinking, one that would have Hyungwon vehemently nod in agreement and Minhyuk's eyes roll far back into his head in indignation. 

In the end, Changkyun wondered, as a drop of drool tickled the corner of his open mouth, kissing wasn't made for everyone, least of all for strangers, and definitely to keep far away from Minhyuk. Because as cool as Changkyun liked to make himself appear, he had a marshmallow for a heart that was so deeply rolled into hardened dark chocolate. And if anyone were to venture and lick into his core, then Changkyun knew that he would want someone to trust, to listen to him and go slow with him. 

Changkyun needed people to take their time with him; to get him to open up, to understand him, and ultimately, kiss him. 

He straightened himself a bit on the couch as half his butt had slipped from the leather, eyes watering as he blinked the dryness away. He really needed sleep. But what was he doing here, daydreaming about being kissed in way too detailed a fashion for him to pretend convincingly he wasn't all that interested? 

Changkyun yawned and stretched again, feeling the exhaustion take over his numb and cold body, not having moved from his position for the past hour or so. Blood rushed into his ears as he stretched his arms far above his head, and, in a last shiver, he threw his head back only to abort the whine of contentment as he found someone looking back at him.

"Changkyun, you're still awake?" Kihyun spoke softly, in that soothing voice he adopted when he would comfort a wounded fan or a random Changkyun found laying on a couch in the middle of the night. 

Changkyun blinked, stunned to remark the soft dishevelled hair framing Kihyun's face. 

"Yeah," he replied simply, not a care in the world about having his bellybutton on display, such as a target for Kihyun's roaming eyes. The singer smiled at him before letting his attention drift towards the television, giving Changkyun the time to compose an embarrassed look on his traits.

"Why are you watching these so late?" No judgement; perhaps pity. But Kihyun's voice sounded pained on behalf of Changkyun's restlessness, repressing the obvious want to coo at how cute he looked, despite the tiredness having taken over his sharp visage.

"Don't know, just... remote was too far," he mumbled, slurring each of his words in obvious fatigue. He really, badly needed and wanted sleep - the tv had long accomplished its task, tiring his pupils out and numbing his entire body in a sort of peaceful and silent exhaustion. 

His brain, however, felt full. Too full to sleep, and Changkyun groaned because he knew he would not find rest unless he'd overthink enough.

Kihyun stepped forward a bit, silhouette glowing around the colourful hues from the ad break, and turned the tv off, thankful sigh resounding in the sudden silence.

"Hyung," soft, hesitant voice, from behind Kihyun, and the latter turned around slowly.

The singer had figured, as soon as he'd got out of bed as his bladder had woken him up, as he had found a drooling Changkyun alone, that he was perhaps not about to resume his night as early as wished.

It wasn't a rare occurrence for Changkyun to stay up late, working on new songs in his studio, sacrificing precious hours of sleep for some leisure games of his favourite MMORPG, or silently jacking off to release stacked up tension - as he had shamelessly explained to his flatmates with the utmost scientific serious look. 

Yet, he very seldom stayed up aimlessly, unless sleep feared him and he had to force his body to shut down any way he could. These sleepless nights meant more time for Changkyun to look into himself, spend quiet me-time that, oftentimes, resulted in weird moods from his breakthroughs. 

But weird moods, Kihyun could handle that much. With time, he had learnt to navigate through the wonders of Changkyun's exploding synapses, had learnt to even enjoy the ride on the fast travelling pieces of information into his brain. Kihyun never considered Changkyun as a burden, or weird; he would sit down with him in the dead of the night and wipe his dry spit on the corner of his lip, would listen to him talk, would even hold him for a while if that was all it took for Changkyun to feel alright.

Being alone with thoughts was scary, and offering to Changkyun a silent company, Kihyun could definitely handle that much.

Kihyun was not a stranger; had never felt like one to Changkyun. 

"Have you ever kissed someone?" the question was bashful, whispered as softly as possible and resounding warmly in the now silent room, like the lightest drop of water undulating calmly on the surface of a lake. 

Kihyun did not expect a question of this sort; he never knew what to expect from the youngest. Nothing ever surprised him, perhaps took him aback slightly, but never outraged him enough that he would hurt the rapper with a twisted look on his traits. 

"Yeah, I have," he answered simply, remembering the chaste pecks he'd given and received, and the scarce tongues he'd had the occasion to brush with his own. It was all gone, sandy memories crumbling apart when he as much as brought attention to it.

Changkyun fidgeted, assaulting his slender fingers in a battle of twister, pulling at the sensitive skin and biting it red between his growing nails. He wanted to say something, ask more, but he knew it would be too invasive. Of course, he would have been kissed, such a kind hyung as Kihyun.

"Have you?" Kihyun asked back, in the most neutral way possible, though he quite knew already what was to come for the existential crisis of the day - of the night, more so.

Changkyun shook his head, blood rushing to his ears and adorning his cheekbones in a delicate shade of pink that made Kihyun swallow the coo building up in his throat. Instead, a whimper, embarrassed and choked, spilt out of Changkyun's throat. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Kihyun reassured him, as he witnessed an incredibly timid Changkyun hiding behind the palms of his hands. "There's nothing wrong with this, it's not a life requirement." 

Changkyun only half listened. He felt shame burning his entire skin, hugging him tight in a disagreeable hold, felt his dry eyes filling up with tears. It was too easy to cry past midnight.

Abashed, he lowered his hands and peeked through the fingers, glancing at Kihyun. His eyes were soft, gleaming even in the badly lit room, and there wasn't any trace of contained laughter or a smile quivering his lips. Kihyun never laughed at Changkyun, always took his time with him. 

And Changkyun needed just that; people taking their time with him. 

The disagreeable warmth morphed into a burning sensation, engulfing his throat and pressing down on his lungs, trying to force the words out. Maybe Changkyun had lost himself in the fantasy of a perfect kiss for too long and forgot the heartbreaking reality of the world. 

"Would you kiss me?"

Changkyun bit his lips, regretting the words as soon as they spilt out of his mouth. They had clawed their way up his throat, had scorched his vocal cords with a threatening burn, and at last, he had blurted it out.

And yet again, Kihyun did not laugh; did not flinch away nor brush the question aside with a joke. Because it was too easy to cry past midnight. 

He knew it; that if the question had been asked, it was because it was important. Knew it, by the look on Changkyun's face, how achingly frustrating it all felt. He had been alone with his thoughts and ended up spilling them out to the one who he trusted, the one who would snatch him out of his reveries and help him back on earth. The one who wouldn't laugh and who would wait for him, and smile at him reassuringly.

Kihyun dragged his thighs closer to Changkyun, a gentle smile plastered on his face. His eyes shone still, seemingly sheltering an entire galaxy of the brightest stars, and Changkyun wanted to plunge into them; wanted to float through the eternity of the singer's eyes and not have to face a world oh-so scary.

"What have you been thinking about, Changkyunnie?" Kihyun breathed, kind and slow, whisper so low it felt like he was trying to speak to Changkyun's soul directly. 

And Changkyun soul was crying, bleeding and spilling out all over the couch, as Changkyun petulantly brought his bare legs to his chest, looking so endearingly like the maknae he always was.

"S'just, how do people know what to do," he slurred against his pressed knees, eyes drilling holes into the idle screen of the television. "You can't just, I dunno..."

Changkyun fell silent again. It was embarrassing, laying it all out, figuring out as he spoke what was bothering him so much. Why did he have to clog his brain with the most stupid, unimportant matters? 

"Forget it," he gave up, nose buried between the cold skin of his knees, lips pouting.

He felt a hand creep up to his shoulder, cup his face gently, as Kihyun's voice bloomed against his ear. 

"Some people just know, Changkyun, it all depends on who it is you're kissing," Kihyun's forehead came resting against Changkyun's temple, his warm palm pressed against his cheek in a loving hold. 

Changkyun blushed; but didn't feel shy anymore. He felt safe and secure, felt content and warm, and allowed the blood in his body to do what it wanted and rush to his cheeks. He closed his eyes, basking in Kihyun's presence, feeling his regular breath die against his cheek. 

Kihyun had never judged him. 

"Like, kissing a stranger?" Changkyun murmured, mind still not far away from his perfect kiss scenario, brain flashing with the irksome television sightings. 

"Am I a stranger?" puffs of hot breath crashed against Changkyun's cheek as he tried to register the meaning of the sounds. Kihyun was laughing.

"Will you kiss me?" he repeated, more as a confirmation than an outright question.

Perhaps they should talk more about this; perhaps they didn't need to. Kihyun's eyelashes fluttered open, gazing softly at Changkyun's side profile in wonder. 

He looked intensely tired, brows slightly furrowed, only giving away how many hours he'd spent slouched on the couch and leaving his brain on overdrive. It was like he had allowed each of his thoughts to grow into a huge tree, and had ended up bearing an entire forest of fruits into his fatigued brain.

Changkyun was never a waste; so Kihyun would forever show up with a basket around his arm and carefully pick every fruit, holding Changkyun's hand as he walked him under the loaded trees until his mind would come to slow down at last.

Kihyun pressed his palm forward, coaxing Changkyun into turning his head and he followed, accompanying his every moves, eyes droopy and hardly remaining open. He smiled, forehead aligned to Changkyun's and stared at his lips, dry and chapped, parted in confusion and frustration and pent-up emotions stacked behind all the walls of Changkyun's brain. 

The tip of his fingers rested right under Changkyun's ear, playing with the ticklish hair growing on the nape, thumbing at the acne scars on his cheek, and Changkyun's eyes fluttered close. 

Changkyun felt like a concerto of butterflies were rattling against his ribcage, as the softest lips pressed against his own. It was warm, unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

He froze, trapped in the darkness of his own eyelids, too tired to open them up, and concentrated on the warm feeling spreading in his entire chest. Kihyun's hand was gently stroking his visage, lips barely moving, just staying there, as if to complete an embrace, hold Changkyun even closer with no further motive. 

And then Changkyun stirred, puckered his lips into a real kiss, just like he'd seen in the movies, and Kihyun moved against him. Their lips rubbed together, plush and slow, exploring every crack of the skin, noses bumping softly against each other. 

Changkyun smiled; because he found that he couldn't do much else apart from smiling and communicating his happiness and contentment. Perhaps people couldn't know how to kiss a stranger, perhaps the world bore as many definitions of a perfect kiss as it bore individuals.

Changkyun smiled and gasped, he found he liked it, found he liked kissing Kihyun a lot, Kihyun who was no stranger and whose lips moulded so perfectly against his. 

In the heat of the moment, Kihyun parted his lips around Changkyun's gasp, flooding his mouth with a new warmth and moisture that had Changkyun startle; this was so new. 

But, just as the singer had given him time to adapt to his lips, he did not go further; took his time. 

Changkyun felt Kihyun's hot breath dying right into his mouth and the sensation was weird yet felt so right. He stayed, and Changkyun felt his mouth filling up with saliva that he dared not swallow in fear of doing something wrong, in fear of biting or pulling away. So, as Kihyun closed his mouth again, pulling one of Changkyun's lips between his own, he followed, his throat working naturally in sync with the waltz of their mouths. 

And Kihyun dived again; peeking out his tongue and teasing Changkyun's lips, the rapper emitting a weird and embarrassing sound at the back of his throat out of surprise. All the thoughts from earlier crumbled apart, as he found himself eager to taste Kihyun's tongue.

Wet, warm, hot, yet so gentle. Kihyun explored slowly, starting over a new kiss and each time exploring further into Changkyun's docile mouth, holding his face still so lovingly and never adjusting himself. His body was half-twisted towards the rapper, but even in the discomfort his spine protested against, he did not move. 

It was after a few more kisses that Kihyun's tongue had found a secure shelter, one that didn't startle Changkyun anymore; and his own tongue moved, twitched feebly and awkwardly and undulated, copying Kihyun's moves and they were making out. 

Changkyun was making out for the first time.

He choked on a whimper, from the realization of how good it felt to be kissed. Because Kihyun wasn't a stranger, he had held Changkyun's face and cupped his cheeks. He had played with the hair on the base of his neck and teased his lips. He had taken his time with Changkyun, because Kihyun had never been a stranger.

His lungs boiled with hazy contentment and his bowels twisted on themselves as Kihyun moaned prettily into Changkyun's mouth, right when he had moved his tongue to nestle it underneath Kihyun's. Was it good for Kihyun too? 

Kihyun's tongue felt good. Changkyun did not pay mind to the saliva building up, half realizing whenever his throat would constrict on a reflex to swallow around Kihyun, instead he tasted in earnest, licked and suckled and he realized, the mechanics of a kiss were really much less work than he'd thought. 

It all felt so right and natural and he had known, the immediate second he'd discovered the incredible feeling of two tongues touching, that it was something he would want to do again; that he had given it one too many pained thoughts, when all it had taken was to just try it and figure it out, pushing aside all the theory and the fantasies and the perfectionism.

When they parted, the ambient air felt cold against his open mouth, room not any colder than before Kihyun had stepped in, but their bodies considerably warmed up. Changkyun's breathing was unsteady, chest heaving slowly, mirroring Kihyun's again.

The rapper found Kihyun's eyes on his when he looked up, and looking at him appeared much less hard than before, when he was crying out of frustration and sheer tiredness. The stars dancing in the singer's pupils were still there, brighter and multiplied, but Changkyun found it quite comfortable, in the end, to face the not-so-scary world with Kihyun by his side.

"So, am I a stranger?" Kihyun repeated the question, tone light and voice a mere whisper, as if afraid of shattering the solaceful picture they were forming. 

And Changkyun smiled, lips swollen and red but sincere, forehead resting lazily against Kihyun's as he still held his face close.

Kihyun had never been a stranger, least of all right in this moment. He'd held Changkyun once more and taken his time with him, had patiently answered to whatever questions he could, never judging the younger nor mocking him.

Instead, he had offered himself, had answered in more than a way to Changkyun's pained questions and, more than picking up the fruits in his basket, had eaten them, together.

Changkyun couldn't imagine anyone else other than Kihyun to eat fruits with. Beyond all fantasies and lost dreams, Kihyun was his perfection. He liked him, trusted him to the point of letting him see so much of himself and not overthink about it the next day. 

Changkyun liked Kihyun without hurting, and that felt too good.

He felt even warmer when Kihyun hinted that they could kiss again, if Changkyun wanted to.

And Changkyun definitely knew, that he would want to again.

Changkyun's moods were always a wonder. 

He was always known as cool and cute, a fascinating and odd combination, that left people oftentimes wondering who was the real Changkyun. Was he the vulnerable glimpse of himself he would show in precious snippets to those who knew where to look? Was he the overly confident and sexy man spewing his rap on stage, or was he the cute, young maknae who loved being spoilt by his hyungs?

Curious as it was, all of those were in fact, him, and at the same time, none of these were. 

Because as versatile as he seemed, no one had ever seen the restless Changkyun, unable to sleep and deep in thoughts, hurting himself with a realm that only existed within his soul, until his lungs would cave in from crying and his eyes would burn from the tears.

They'd never seen an insecure Changkyun, timid and shy, kissing the back of his hand absent-mindedly, trying to recreate this one peculiar feeling he'd felt once, cursing at the redness his tongue and teeth had made on the skin.

Despite the promise, unfortunate schedules left the entire group exhausted to the bone, asleep before midnight and way beyond noon, oftentimes unable to even be home at twilight and until dawn.

Changkyun had found himself thinking back to that night on the couch often, perhaps too often, longing for the feeling so peculiar his tongue had provided, as he pressed his mouth against the cold and soulless flesh of his own hand. Frustration was growing in the pit of his stomach. Kihyun had offered they could kiss more if he wanted to after all, yet Changkyun never built up the courage to ask him again.

Without realizing, a couple of weeks had gone by, the memory of a warm tongue exploring Changkyun's mouth leaving the boy as flustered as day one.

Maybe it wasn't only kissing that he enjoyed, but kissing Kihyun, especially. He had reflected on it for so long, sleepless nights turning over in his bed, thrashing under his comforters and dreading the impending morning alarm as his brain was unable to shut up. And he knew it, by then, that had any other member walked in on him that night, it wouldn't have been the same. There wouldn't have been the stupid honesty spilling out of Changkyun, or blurted out questions squeezed out of Changkyun despite his will. 

It was Kihyun he had enjoyed kissing. Because Kihyun was far from a stranger, and more than a friend.

Changkyun blushed and kicked around, the tip of his ears burning as he stood up to wash his hands and take his mind far from that secluded couch after midnight.

Lately, it had gotten harder to keep his thoughts from wandering near Kihyun's tongue, resulting in too many kissing sessions with his own hand and multiplied stares at Kihyun's lips whenever the latter would be speaking. 

Changkyun would internally praise himself for knowing how to keep his composure around others, play it off as fanservice when it got a bit obvious on camera and adopt a stern and neutral look on his traits, so as not to let any of the thoughts regarding the man next to him perspire. 

As much as the public eye was blind to these, Kihyun wasn't. 

And as blind as he was to Changkyun's swollen lips and bite marks on the back of his hand, hidden by sweater paws, how could he be blind to the desperate glances towards his lips, the lingering stares drilling holes right into his mouth, how could he ever be blind to something that he wanted as well? 

Changkyun didn't like how easily irritable and moody he would get during jam-packed schedules, marathoning through endless days and barely getting any sleep; and somehow this frustration about Kihyun had made it all worse, isolating himself in the scarce free times he would be graced with to try and distance himself from the rising anxiety in his chest at the mere thought of just asking Kihyun to do it again. 

He couldn't bring himself to, no matter how bad he wanted it.

Changkyun walked back to his room, hands clean and lips tingling with the longing sensation of a hot breath dampening his mouth with foreign wetness, and packed up his bag for the schedules of the day. He sighed as he mentally listed off the places he'd have to run around today, and noted with faint contentment that today would be a much lighter day in comparison to what their two albums releasing back to back had put him through. 

It all went rather smoothly, his moods much easier to handle when he lost himself in Kihyun's lips absent-mindedly, eyes shooting down to the tongue darting between his lips, as they were taking a break from their practice.

A swig of water and then two, lips glistening with water, Kihyun swallowed and threw a questioning look at Changkyun. The youngest blushed, feeling stupid because it was Kihyun and there was no need to feel stupid or shy around him. Nothing had changed since that night, Changkyun was sure of it. 

"Changkyun, is everything okay?" Kihyun asked, the rhetorical nature of the question perspiring through his genuine worry. He licked his dry lips, breath heavy from the intense work-out, and then again Changkyun's eyes jumped to it. 

"I'm okay," he mumbled, the grudges he held against the entire world dangerously close to spilling out. He swallowed them with a chug of water.

"No, I meant..." Kihyun thumbed at Changkyun's cheek, lovingly and softly, and the rapper felt like melting in his touch. "Is everything really alright?"

Changkyun didn't really know how to answer; he knew what he meant by the emphasis on "everything", yet dared not answer anything. His cheeks were burning under Kihyun's sweaty palm, and he closed his eyes, leaning into the touch and shaking his head almost imperceptibly. 

He heard a hum, low and comforting, rumbling through Kihyun's chest and vibrating into his hand, warmth seeping through every pore. 

"Would a kiss make it better?" and he smirked when Changkyun's eyes snapped open. 

"Would you kiss me?" 

There was the stupid question again, the emotions spilling out as if squeezed by Kihyun's mere presence, staining Changkyun's heart, scalding his vocal cords and plunging him into the disagreeable molten anxiety induced by the short silence that came.

"When we're home, Kyun, meet me after midnight," Kihyun whispered mysteriously, hand leaving the cheek and warmth already receding. 

And in a swift movement he was gone, gone with the weird trance that seized Changkyun and made him ask the questions that felt wrong, but that were too right. He was gone and back to laughing at Jooheon's corny jokes, eyes perhaps more lively as he crossed Changkyun's occasionally in the mirror.

When Changkyun got out of the shower on the same evening, after Minhyuk had bid him and Kihyun good night, he stepped nervously into the common room, empty and forlorn, listening to his blood slowly beating as his body recovered from an intense day and a burning shower. 

He listened as water ran again in the bathroom he'd left, desperately trying to shut his brain down from overthinking anything that was coming. But as hard as he tried, he couldn't help his breath catching in his throat as he remembered why he was even here in the first place, waiting for Kihyun. 

Changkyun lost himself in thoughts yet again, staring absent-mindedly at the moon shining through the window, peaceful halo of light amidst a starless night; at last, the bathroom door opened. He did not hear it. 

Kihyun stepped in the room, hair damp from his shower, skin fresh and reddened as he wore loose and comfortable clothes, drastic contrast with the stylish outfits he'd had to wear through the day. He caught Changkyun's attention, who felt a lump rise in his throat as panic bloomed in his chest, making him fidgety and restless on the couch. 

"Hey," Kihyun spoke first, feeling like he should since he had been the one inviting Changkyun here. The latter felt thankful.

"Hey," he rasped out in return, eyes following intently Kihyun's body when he sat down next to him, plopping down and sighing, exhausted.

They remained silent for a bit, Changkyun anxiety rising in his chest. Perhaps Kihyun had forgotten?

"So," Kihyun broke the silence and the rapper's eyes shot up to him, to his lips pursed in thought, startled an abnormal amount from the mere sight of his tongue peeking out. "You're staring, Changkyun..."

Kihyun chuckled breathlessly, his own eyes on Changkyun's, endeared by so much eagerness and inexperience. He could practically feel Changkyun's nervousness seep through his bones, spill all over the couch and drown him in a tight embrace. 

"Hyung..." Changkyun breathed out, voice small and very much unlike all the frustration he had felt inside all these days. It felt so despicable on the moment, almost a blessing; for all the frustration built up had led to that one moment, keeping Changkyun on the edge of his pillow, elevating him on top of all the stacked-up frustrations and about ready to face plant into the roots of it all, ready to free dive into Kihyun. 

Changkyun blushed.

"What have you been thinking about, Changkyunnie?" Kihyun asked him, a soft smile on his lips glistening with lip balm. And Changkyun felt like crying, felt like he had been brought back to a month back, when he was sitting on the very same couch with a dry-haired Kihyun cupping his cheeks and asking the same question to his soul.

And how could he possibly utter the oh-so embarrassing words that constituted his answers, for his mind had been but only assaulted by the memories of Kihyun, of his lips and of his tongue, of the pleasures of kissing he had discovered and the unreproducible sensation it had elicited in his entire body. How, God how, could he ever speak aloud the secrets of the now-forgotten redness on the back of his hands, his treasonous eyes glazing over in the recollection of such an agreeable occurrence?

"Do you like kissing me that much?" Kihyun's voice came such as a light piercing through clouds amidst the storm of answers he could have given to his first question. A blessing, a helping hand. 

His cheeks redder than ever, Changkyun shut his eyes tight and nodded, not looking at Kihyun's reaction, hiding behind his bashfulness. Because yes, there was nothing in the world that he liked more than Kihyun's mouth. 

The familiar warmth of a palm crept up his cheek and seeped through the skin, cupping gently and thumbing softly. The youngest opened his eyes, not scared anymore in the embrace. 

He was never scared in Kihyun's hold; because he was no stranger to it.

"I like how you feel Hyung..." Changkyun sighed, eyes closing again as he lost himself in the delicious burning humiliation to speak so much about such an intimate thought. 

Kihyun smiled, swallowing the coo building its way up his throat. He felt flattered, having the boy crumbled apart in his hold, having him confess and nod and shiver in earnest. He closed in the distance, pressing his lips in a chaste kiss as his way of saying "I'm home". 

Changkyun startled and melted immediately, recognizing the plush lips and the way they rubbed against his, feeling warmth pool into his chest and burn his ribcage. Kissing Kihyun was too nice. He exhaled shakily, opening his mouth in the hope Kihyun would get the hint. He had missed this too much, had missed the hot breath of another being right against his skin, the flavoured sighs engulfing his mouth in a swirl of sensations. 

But Kihyun pulled away, resting his forehead against Changkyun's and holding him close, cradling his face, looking at him so intently and the stars were back in his eyes; gone from the sky, they'd travelled all the way to Kihyun's pupils, leaving only the moon as a witness to their undying adoration in the middle of the night. 

"Want my tongue?" Kihyun teased, basking in the moment. He wanted to appreciate all of it as much as he could, like a break from life, a dream in the night. 

"Yes, yes Hyung, please?" Changkyun tripped over his words, catching the singer off-guard with such unabashed honesty, hitting him right in the chest with renewed care and they were kissing again, holding onto each other as if life would stop were they to let go. 

Changkyun's lips already parted, docile and pliant and waiting, Kihyun dived in, humming in content as he found back the oh-so peculiar taste in the youngest's mouth. He swallowed around his soft moans, petting his cheeks as he kissed him again and again, Changkyun seemingly never tired, jaw slack and body totally abandoned to Kihyun's control. 

Mindlessly, Changkyun clung onto Kihyun's shirt, fisting at the fabric in an attempt at getting closer, wanting more of his tongue, more of his warmth, yet he had already everything he could ever get from him and he should be embarrassed at the sounds escaping his throat; but Kihyun never pulled away, only kissed him deeper, slow and wet and holding him right against him. 

Changkyun loved kissing Kihyun a lot. 

They parted to catch their breath, Changkyun whimpering like a wounded kitten, feeling too good, too much at once. Nothing would ever compare to the way Kihyun held him, to the way Kihyun kissed him; to the way he cared for him because they were far from strangers, and perhaps way more than friends already.

"More?" the singer checked with Changkyun, question soft in his ear as the latter was curling in on himself, body rocked softly by Kihyun's strong arms holding him on his lap. When had Changkyun climbed onto Kihyun's lap, he did not remember. He nodded fast, not having had enough. 

He could never get enough of Kihyun.

"Changkyun," the slight hesitation in Kihyun's voice made him open his eyes. "You really like my tongue, don't you?" 

The discrepancy between the uncertain tone of voice and the nature of the question made Changkyun's worries rise again. Had he been too much, too eager? Maybe they were just friends, who were kissing after midnight. Maybe he'd read it all wrong.

"Yeah," he decided words would be best to use, feeling a sudden discomfort, skin too tight, lungs too small, mouth too dry-

"You know I can make out with all of you?" Kihyun dead-panned, for the first time averting Changkyun's eyes. 

"Hyung?" he didn't register at first, snapping out of the overthinking spiral he'd plunged into. "All of me?"

"Hm, all of you, just stop me if there's anything you don't like, yeah?" Kihyun's eyes gazed into Changkyun's for a while, waiting. 

The rapper felt dazed, lost, but he trusted Kihyun and couldn't help the relief spurring him on, confident now that they established Kihyun was still going to kiss him and keep his tongue warm in Changkyun. 

So he nodded, and they kissed again. Kihyun took it slow, just like he'd learnt Changkyun loved most. His hands fanned over his cheeks, thumb skidding under his chin and tipping his head back, body overpowering. He kissed him even deeper, Changkyun feeling small and secure under Kihyun's strong hold, panting under the newer sensations. 

When Kihyun's mouth left his, Changkyun mewled, feeling the dampness of the singer's swollen lips latch onto the thin skin of his neck, suckling ever softly. He held his face upward, making room for Kihyun as he felt a tongue billow over the pumping vein in his neck, throat constricting around the surprised noises. 

Changkyun thought he knew Kihyun's tongue; but the way it moved and licked at his skin, wetting a small patch on his neck, it felt like a whole new tongue all over again. And he understood it; that Kihyun didn't need Changkyun's mouth to use his tongue.

The rapper relaxed in Kihyun's hold, letting himself appreciate the feeling of open-mouthed kisses closing on his jugular, travelling down with each smooching sound, and he whimpered when teeth softly grazed against his collarbone.

Barely able to form coherent thoughts, he could only let out little "oh"s of pleasure and surprise as Kihyun made out with his neck, leaving a shiny trace of saliva in his way. 

When Changkyun felt him tug at the shirt he was wearing, his mind and his heart raced against each other, blood pumping faster than any thought and already Kihyun's head made its way down his sternum, pushing the fabric up to his chest, bunching up under his armpits.

Kihyun giggled against Changkyun's skin and it rumbled through his entire being, feeling like laughing himself, as he felt himself being laid down, more comfortably splayed on the couch cushion.

Changkyun felt as Kihyun's weight shifted slowly over his body, travelling down and settling between his legs, on the ground, for more comfortable access over the bare skin of his torso exposed for Kihyun's leisure only.

It was the first time ever Changkyun felt all these sensations; novelties mixed with familiarity. His mouth felt empty, opened on voiceless whimpers cascading out of it as his breathing picked up, laboured and ragged, chest heaving. 

Changkyun closed his eyes, overwhelmed. It was so familiar and pleasant, in that he knew that tongue all too well, the warmth spreading under its path, the hot breath fanning over his skin and dampening it with each puff of breath. His hand reached out, closing in on soft hair, stroking encouragingly as he slowly lost his mind, pecs assaulted with kisses, Kihyun's nose brushing against his nipples in an agonizing teasing way. 

And it was getting alarming, for Changkyun felt the familiar feelings pooling low in his stomach, felt the way his cock twitched all the way from inside, down to his balls and to the tip, jumping in his pants. His abdomen tensed, clenched muscles under the lust taking over his body; he should stop this, should tell Kihyun. He didn't want to make it all weird, popping a boner from Kihyun's tongue and kisses.

"H-hyu-" he tried to speak, mere rumbles rising from the depth of his lungs coming out instead and finally, Kihyun's lips closed around a nipple. He threw his head back on a loud moan, feeling the strange way his nipple hardened under the wet appendage, how slippery and moist and hot it was and he should feel gross, but it all felt too good and his head spun. 

The bud under the singer's tongue slipped, erect and lubricated in spit, as if playing a game of push and pull, and Kihyun's teeth captured it softly, keeping it in place as he tongued at it, lapping it softly one moment, and dragging the flat of his tongue harshly the next.

Changkyun writhed and swore under his breath, starting to understand all too well Kihyun's concept of making out with all of him. His dick twitched madly, each run of the tongue across the sensitive nub driving him farther and farther into madness. He had to stop the singer before he reached any lower. He really had to. 

But Kihyun seemed to have other plans in mind, mouth popping off the nipple with an obscene sound, a lone trail of saliva connecting the skin to his tongue. Changkyun risked a glance and was met with his smirk, eyes intense and dark yet soft, calculating his every reaction. 

"Good?" he asked, voice infuriatingly steady as his teeth grazed along the dry nipple. 

"Hn, Gh- ghood" and it was the closest to coherence the rapper managed, moaning high and pretty as his second nipple underwent the same merciless treatment. 

His dick was aching in his pants, rock-hard and curved against his lower belly, right underneath the waistband of his pants. Screw him for deciding not to wear boxers after his shower. He blushed, unnecessarily so, feeling warmth spread through his entire body and melt his insides, feeling it leak at the tip of his dick. 

Kissing Kihyun was nice, but Kihyun kissing him was going to be his end, or his beginning as a new person ridden of the thousand sensations possibly felt by a mere human. And human! he was not anymore, how could he be, after having been made sacred and blessed by the skillful tongue on his body. 

The tongue glided over, two swollen and red nipples as the witness of its sin; it raised goosebumps in its way, had Changkyun writhe and thrash around when he reached his sensitive spots, ticklish and lustful, he felt washed of his sins by the lapping warmth, yet the sheen of saliva was all but liquid wrongdoings. 

Changkyun had never felt so transcended, being touched in such intimate a manner that felt both loving and lustful, wanting and caring. Was Kihyun still kissing him to appease the crave of his tongue? Changkyun never wanted to warp his intentions, but how could he not, when he felt his navel soak in a new dampness, tongue plunging teasingly into his belly button and oh, Kihyun had already travelled so low.

It was too late for Changkyun to even try to stop him, he would discover his erection any time soon, would stop in his tracks and then...The rapper choked on a whine, not wanting to stop, feeling way too good, a whole new world of pleasure, so close to his solo ministrations, the burning feeling of lust in the pit of his stomach staying unchanged. 

But it was Kihyun, settled between his legs, who was ravishing his body. It was Kihyun, who had stepped in and found him in the middle of his thoughts. And he had stayed, then. Would he also stay, now? 

With the smallest peck on Changkyun's belly, Kihyun gripped at each side of the pants, tugging slightly, intention clear. Bewilderment washed over Changkyun as he realized his hips moved on their own, allowing Kihyun to discard the piece of clothing, feeling it pool around his ankles, his cock springing to life and hitting his skin. 

Kihyun smiled, appreciatively, palms resting flat on each of Changkyun's thighs, thumbs slowly dragging along the skin, just like he had cradled his visage before. 

"Okay?" Kihyun asked, eyes searching for Changkyun's own in the darkness of the room. 

And when Changkyun blinked and saw the stars again, right there, in his Hyung's eyes, the answer came to him as a matter of fact. 

"Okay," he answered, bracing himself for what he assumed would come.

Changkyun had slipped from the couch, slouched terribly against the cushions, head buried in his tensed shoulders and toes curling from pleasure, as Kihyun sat comfortably on the ground, gripping the rapper's thighs with heart-wrenching care.

"Still like my tongue, yeah?" the words were a mix of teasing and genuineness, flustering Changkyun, because Kihyun's face was centimetres away from his boner, the answer to his question. 

He nodded, wordlessly, and Kihyun cooed before diving. Changkyun would have sworn he was about to get a blow job, would have bet his everything that his dick would be the last of their make-out session, and it jumped at the thought of the familiar tongue going anywhere near his most sensitive spots. 

Again, Kihyun took his time, because he knew Changkyun needed that much. A peck transformed in two, Changkyun's happy trail leading the way, hands massaging his thighs in a way that felt too good and had Changkyun whimper and cry out. 

The singer nosed along Changkyun's stiff length, humming and breathing in his scent, feeling the shaft thicken and pump with life against the skin of his cheek and for the first time he exhaled shakily, affected and aroused.

He hoisted Changkyun's legs, grabbing the thighs roughly, and rested them over his shoulders, face even closer to his groin.

Changkyun could have cried from the intimacy of it all, so open to Kihyun, who could see all of him, everything; it was both embarrassing and liberating. Because Kihyun was way more than a friend, Kihyun never laughed and always took his time.

Kihyun's tongue peeked out, shy almost, connecting with the thin skin of Changkyun's dick, making it jump and spurt out a bead of precome shining in the moonlight. 

Unexpectedly, and contrary to Changkyun's assumption, Kihyun dragged his tongue down, down towards his balls, billowing between the two of them, a new, ticklish sensation seizing Changkyun's entire body. He clenched his every muscle.

"Shh, I got you," Kihyun spoke into his taint, going always further south, the bridge of his nose buried into the softness of Changkyun's scrotum, the words perhaps coaxing the boy to relax and enjoy. 

And enjoying he was; Changkyun moaned helplessly, flabbergasted at the direction things were going. He watched Kihyun's tongue until he couldn't see it anymore, until he could feel it only, digging into his taint, licking playfully, forearms curled around Changkyun's thighs to hold him even closer. 

With a loud yelp, Changkyun was gone. A powerful wave of arousal crashed on him, shaking his body with an impressive shiver, as Kihyun ran the flat of his tongue over his hole.

Changkyun had never before ventured in so bold a place, never even had his thoughts meander into the core of his intimacy. And there was Kihyun, tongue already gone to tease around the clenching hole, grabbing a handful of his ass to spread him wider. 

And he was back again, tongue too wet and too hot and he dug it into the ring of muscles, licking it so eagerly, moaning muffled against the skin. 

The rapper's breathing was a mess, voice hoarse from moaning. The feelings were foreign, new, but far from unwelcome. It was so weird, to feel the wet appendage constantly move, without ever losing its wetness or warmth; to feel it lubricate a place so intimate, forcing its way into it the slightest bit before licking at it as an apology for the intrusion. 

And how much lewder could it get, to have Kihyun moan high like he was enjoying it, enjoying making out with Changkyun's butt just like he enjoyed kissing his mouth and waltzing with his tongue. 

His tongue.

"Hm- more, wan, more," Changkyun whined, arms flailing around him as he looked for something to grab onto, ground himself so as not to lose his sanity. 

Everything felt way too good, Kihyun's tongue on him, the proximity and intimacy. Changkyun was so exposed, embarrassingly so, shirt tucked under his arms and sweats pooling around his ankles, treason of their rush to touch, rush to feel, nowhere near entirely naked yet he felt stripped down to his very soul as Kihyun stirred into him. 

He was aching, kidneys straining from trying to get closer to Kihyun and impale himself on his tongue, whining high in his throat as Kihyun parted the two halves of his ass even more, pulling the skin of his crack taut, plunging so deep into him. 

His tongue breached in, hole slick from the wetness of his mouth, warmth against warmth, life into life, pumping and surrounding him. Kihyun could hear how fast Changkyun's heart was beating from the two thighs encasing him, pressing on his ears, he could hear his own heartbeat and he didn't know anymore; whose heart was beating fastest, for all he knew, they were pumping with the same life, the same lust, connected by their making out. 

Changkyun was about to explode. His brain was filled with words that couldn't come out, voice loud to express his arousal. But he felt thankful, that he was with Kihyun in this moment. 

He felt thankful, that Kihyun had been the answer to his bashful questions, and that he'd been here still, to answer them the best he could. He had stayed then, and he had stayed now. 

Thighs clenching around the head between his legs, Changkyun cried out Kihyun's name, unintelligible words of gratitude following, falling from his swollen lips as tears fell from his eyes. He felt the grip on his thighs tighten, short nails biting into his skin painfully and sending a new wave of arousal straight through his cock. 

Nose buried into Changkyun's taint, Kihyun's jawline went slack, tired of moving constantly, tongue straining but never stopping, opening Changkyun up, soaking him in spit as he made out with his hole, twirling his tongue around and thrusting it as far as possible, suckling on his rim. 

Changkyun's thighs trembled, hole clenching around the warm tongue; how incredible was it, that it stayed warm and wet throughout, sopping and dribbling. He had found he liked the warmth of Kihyun's tongue when they had kissed, but as he felt his core being split open so lovingly, the tongue felt even warmer, burning such a hot trail into him, thrusting, hardening and softening on command, sucking the spit out of it, feeling himself loose and moist as he clenched and unclenched. 

It felt way too good for words. 

The rapper's hand crawled to his stomach, still trying to hold onto his sanity, and closed in around his leaking cock. He swore he'd never been this hard in his life. He needed the stimulation, craved it, navel drowning underneath the pooling precome that kept leaking from his tip.

Thumb running over his slit, as if testing the waters, Changkyun's entire body jolted and he clenched hard, coaxing a high moan from between his legs, the sound vibrating through his balls and sending sparks right into his cock. He fisted at it, pace slow, fingers slick, and timed his thrusts on the movement of Kihyun's tongue.

The pressure in his stomach built up, sending him so high his mind felt hazy and he had to remind himself where he was, remind himself that Kihyun was making out with his ass. He felt the arousal burn his insides and lick at his perineum, as Kihyun's tongue reached deep in a surge and brushed near his prostate.

"AH- Fu- fuck, again again, again," he babbled out, head lolling on the side as Kihyun hummed and overworked his jaw, aching frenulum of his tongue reminding him of his limits. But his limits, it was Changkyun who defined them, and so long as he hadn't come, Kihyun wouldn't stop. So he did it again, stretched his tongue the farthest he could before curling it, dipping it against the spot that had Changkyun clench and moan. 

"Close, close, so close, Hyung, oh," Kihyun's chest burned with love and care seeing Changkyun on display, feeling him around him. He receded his tongue, chin covered in his own spit and bit into Changkyun's inner thigh.

"Come, come Changkyun, I got you," and he stuck his tongue out again, staying at the rim, not breaching it but circling, pressure not enough and too much at the same time for the oversensitive hole.

Changkyun's toes curled, fist picking up its pace as he rutted against the tongue, head thrown back and not a care in the world about how loud he was being. Only Kihyun mattered. Kihyun and his tongue, Kihyun and the way he loved him. Without pain, all too easily sliding over his skin and under his heart, wrapping around him such as a snake slithering sloppily around his ribs and nestling under his most vital organ. 

Kihyun was wrapped around him, making his heart beat faster and stop, making his blood rush for his cheeks and to his dick. Kihyun had made out with his all, admiring his everything and tasting it with reverent eyes, the stars in there never faltering, their light the only thing perhaps keeping Changkyun sane and safe. 

The singer looked up, eyes centimetres away from the hand stroking the erection, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. 

Changkyun came, with no warning, orgasm crashing down on him with the force of an explosion, sending his synapses flying away and his spine flowing with electric shock as he came and came, thick semen spurting out and landing on his stomach, reaching his torso. His fist tightened around the red head of his cock, last drops of cum spilling with a squeeze and slowly falling down his shaft, on his hand. 

Kihyun sat back, hands massaging Changkyun's thighs through his orgasm, feeling all too happy to witness the most intimate state of the rapper as his body spasmed, waves of pleasure crashing on his shore even after he'd spilt everything, way after his balls tightened and his dick started softening. Dry sobs filled the heavy atmosphere, as Kihyun's palms drew soothing patterns on the milky skin, thrumming his fingers and whispering sweet nothings, albeit being aroused and hard and affected himself. 

Changkyun came first, because it was never a waste.

He listened to the sobs until they died, eyes attentive and hands grounding, calculating the way his chest heaved more slowly, breath less strained, smiling feebly upon seeing his shiny hole clenching around nothing and unclenching slowly, leisurely taking in the emptiness and the ghost of Kihyun's tongue. 

"Ki, hyung?" Changkyun's voice was raspy, coming out weakly, as he called for Kihyun's name. He needed him, next to him, wanted a last kiss, one just like the first he'd gotten. "Kiss me," he asked once.

And Kihyun obliged. He made his way up slowly, peppering the sweating skin in kisses and licking up the come, tasting it on his tongue and cleaning as much as he could off Changkyun's body, before reaching his face and settling back between his legs, on the couch, balancing them both back to lay down.

Changkyun sighed in pleasure as Kihyun's lips landed on his; they felt swollen and plush under his dry own, kisses feeling weaker, but Kihyun held onto him, cradled his face again, because nothing had changed. 

He had made out with all of him, as promised, had kissed him, as asked, and had taken his time with him, like always.

Shy of acting too bold, Changkyun tried leading the kiss for once. His tongue rubbed against Kihyun's and invaded his mouth at once, feeling the older give in and let him, listening to the soft sighs escaping from the corner of his lips. Kihyun was hard, getting off against Changkyun, frotting his hard length still encaged in his pants clumsily as they kissed and stayed close, until Changkyun was hugging his frozen body, tensed from head to toes and shivering, shuddering even, coming in his pants and whimpering into Changkyun's mouth.

A pang of pride landed into Changkyun's heart, somewhere next to where Kihyun had taken his residence, and he smiled, content of having been here for Kihyun and giving back to him all that he had received.

He felt thankful beyond words. 

Way past midnight, with the moon as their sole witness, they hugged tightly on the couch, breathing deeply into each other's skin, tiredness of the day washing over; and they were well, they felt right. 

Because it was too easy to cry after midnight and because Kihyun had taken his time with Changkyun's tears and his moods from day one, and because he was never a waste, they had walked far, far from being the strangers they'd been once, and way ahead of the friendship they'd built over the years. 

Kihyun was no stranger to Changkyun.

And on the same couch, with the same heart as before, he whispered:

"Would you kiss me again?"