Chapter Text
Jaskier felt something crack inside of him on that mountain.
He felt his legs getting weak under him as Geralt yelled at him for shit that wasn't entirely his fault. The wind had stilled yet all the vegetation writhed and tried its best to get away from the bard. Geralt hadn't seemed to notice because he was fuming with hatred. Jaskier could somehow smell it on him and he hated it. It smelled disgusting and he felt like he could puke from the stench.
"See you around, Geralt." Jaskier spoke and turned around, leaving the Witcher to his own devices. He wanted to cry, cry so much that the whole world could feel his pain. His best friend, the one who had always accepted him back after every winter, the one who outwardly told Jaskier to shut up when he started singing but Jask knew he secretly liked the company, had told him to go fuck himself and never show up on the ground that Geralt strides over everyday again.
He was suddenly aware of every leaf and gust of wind around him. He finally started to cry once he reached the bottom of that damned mountain. He wished that Geralt had suddenly changed his mind and chased after him after he got out of sight. He wished that Geralt would come running up and apologizing over and over. He wished that all of this would be a misunderstanding and everything would go back to normal.
That moment never came, never did, and Jaskier supposes that it never will. Geralt is a stubborn man and would never come crying to a bard of all people. Wishful thinking never got him anywhere to begin with.
Weeks later, a new song full of heartbreak and confusion had blessed this shitty land.
I hear you're alive, how disappointing...
I've also survived, no thanks to you
Gods, how these words showed the true pain of a heartbroken bard. Geralt wouldn't care though, he would just continue to brood and search for his child surprise.
Did I not bring you some glee
Mister "oh-look-at-me"?
Now I'll burn all the memories of you
The tavern was full of life that night, young women and men that had more interesting histories than a Witcher had graced the building to hear him perform.
All those lonely miles that you ride
Now you'll walk with no one by your side
Did you ever even care
With your swords and your stupid hair?
That line was partially wrong, even after a fight with a ghoul or a wyvern, Geralt's hair looked amazing. Even covered in guts.
Now watch me laugh as I burn all the memories of you
He took his time to shortly mingle with his audience, after all, they were about to witness real heartbreak!
What for d'you yearn?
It's the point of no return
After everything we did, we saw
You turned your back on me
What for d'you yearn?
Watch that butcher burn
He got louder with every verse, the anger building up and finally exploding in various words.
At the end of my days when I'm through
No word that I've written will ring quite as true as "burn!"
Burn, butcher, burn!
Burn, butcher, burn
The burns got quieter and quieter, his anger finally fuzziness out
Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn…
Watch me burn all the memories of you
The crowd had cheered him on, clapping and whistling him on. He deserves this. Jaskier deserves all the praise he can get after traveling with a Witcher that doesn't know how to properly express his feelings.
Outside the tavern, small plants had started to bloom in the middle of winter.
Jaskier moved from tavern to tavern, performing his heart out, expressing his rage. And without fail, plants had bloomed wherever he went. No one seemed to notice the strange blooms except a certain group of Witchers.
Finally one had entered the tavern after fulfilling a contract.
Jaskier only noticed him once he sank down to the ground to finish his final line. Although the man certainly doesn't look like a Witcher, something in his gut had told him he was. Jaskier approached him and sat down next to him confidently.
"Never met a Witcher that doesn't sit in a corner and brood." The bard said and smiled as the bartender handed him some fresh mead. "And one that doesn't constantly smell of hatred and regret, though I was told that those smells were just onion."
The Witcher next to him laughed and turned his head to take a good look at the bard. "I believe we all smell like that." He said and took a drink of the mead.
"Haven't heard about you before, though he barely mentioned anything about his fellow Witchers with me but he did to that bitch of a sorceress. " Jasker frowned and ran his finger over the lid of the cup. "What's your name?"
The man smiled and looked at Jaskier once again before giving in. "Eskel, are you the bard that put the White Wolf to fame?"
Jaskier nodded and sighed. "Unfortunately yes, but not much I can do about it now unless I completely ruin his chances of getting paid fairly." Jaskier wanted to take everything away from Geralt, he really did. He wasn't like that though, he wouldn't stoop as far down as Geralt did to him, completely ruining his heart.
"That bad?" Eskel asked and Jaskier nodded. The tavern had plants spread about and Eskel had noticed that one was literally withering while trying to get away from the two. He looked at it with question but shortly looked back at the heartbroken bard.
"Anyway, how would you rate my performance? Surely it was up to your Witcher standards!" Jaskier asked excitedly and Eskel shot a look at the plant and noticed it was completely fine. Strange; if something was wrong his medallion would warn him, right?
"I thought it was great, a good mix of theatrics and professionalism." Eskel admitted honestly and slightly widened his eyes when he saw the plant growing quickly.
"Oh well that's just amazing! He would have never said that to me, even if his life depended on it!" Jaskier smiled and danced his hands on the bar. The bard looked up and noticed that Eskels eyes were on a very grown plant in front of them. "Oh, you noticed that too? Yeah ever since I got down from that mountain some strange stuff has been happening around me. I mean, it hasn't harmed me at all and I'm grateful for that but I do think that's not normal." Jaskier rambled and Eskel kept looking at the now decreasing in size plant. It's like it's embarrassed.
"Have you considered that you might be the one doing this?" Eskel asked and Jaskier shook his head, immediately denying that it may have something to do with him.
"What? No, no, no, I am just a humble bard that is a human! Really. Nothing exciting is coming from me. Just a boring human." The plant finally went back to its original size and started moving slightly. Eskel nodded and took a big drink of his alcohol. He was not drunk enough to deal with this bard apparently.
"Whatever you say, bard." Eskel said and shrugged.
The two sat in silence for a few moments before Jaskier spoke up again. "I'm gonna do this okay, uhm, Eskel!" The Witcher looked up and noticed that Jaskier was definitely going to ask something he would possibly regret. "I know I may have possibly ruined a friendship with your fellow Witcher but I was wondering if I could join you on your next contract? Just one! I need something new to entertain the growing crowds with." Jaskier proposed and Eskel sat there for a good minute wondering if allowing the bard to go with him for his next contract was a good idea.
"To hell with it, yeah you can join me." Eskel agreed and smiled slightly when Jaskier seemed to vibrate with excitement.
"I have my own horse now! You won't have to worry about me struggling to keep up haha!" Before the mountain incident, Jaskier had started saving up enough coin to get a horse so he could give his poor feet a rest while on those long adventures. Unfortunately when he found he had enough to purchase the one he wanted, it was days after he got down from the mountain. Jaskier still got the horse and it really did make traveling easier when going from town to town to sing out his heartbreak.
Eskel grinned and raised his cup as if he was toasting something and then drank the rest of it. "I'll make sure the next contract is real interesting then, wouldn't want a stab and have it be over with so soon."
The two left the next morning and off to the next town, Beauclair.
Thankfully it wasn't that far, a good day ride on horseback. Of course, Jaskier still filled the hours with his talking. And was very excited about the city they were going to visit.
The two approached a board full of help wanted and the like. Eskel spotted one contract that looked particularly interesting. It was posted by a herbalist that explained that there was a Leshy that had proved itself to be quite the menace to the people that lived in the outskirts of the city. Eskel thought it was strange, he never saw leshens near Beauclair.
Eskel decided that he would need to speak to the herbalist himself so he told Jaskier to follow him to the place they resided.
Eskel knocked on the door and flinched slightly when there was a crash. The herbalist inside cursed and opened the door. "Hello, are you here about my contract that I posted?" They asked when they looked at the silver medallion that rested on Eskel.
Eskel nodded, "Yes though I do have some questions." The herbalist sighed and opened the door fully to let the duo in.
"I know it's kind of unlikely that what we're dealing with is a Leshy as they never fucking show up here but I swear that's what it is." The herbalist spoke and cleaned up the broken glass on the floor. "It has to be one or something that's really close to it."
Eskel could tell the herbalist was desperate. "Has it been known to attack people if they get too close?" They nodded
"And since it's in the forest I can't go out there and collect local ingredients that are very important in remedies" Eskel hummed and decided that the information would have to suffice. The two bid the herbalist farewell and headed off to the outskirts of the forest, tying their horses to a tree that wasn't visible to the road.
Eskel sighed and took a good look at Jaskier before giving in and letting him stay a reasonable distance away from the fight. "You're truly fantastic my dear Witcher, I didn't even have to ask! I wouldn't have listened to you anyway but it's the thought that counts. "
The two seemed to arrive in the perfect spot as the feeling of the air around them seemed to shift. "Go hide, Jaskier." Eskel instructed and took his silver sword out. Wolves started howling and ravens started appearing out of nowhere. A cloud of smoke appeared in front of Eskel and suddenly a huge leshy had appeared and started to attack him. Eskel dodged and had casted Igni at it.
It screamed as it tried to put out the fire that spread rapidly. Eskel took this opportunity to start attacking it relentlessly. Something was strange about it though, every hit and blast of fire it took, it wouldn't go down, after about the fifth blast of igni it stopped screaming and did multiple heavy attacks on Eskel.
"The fuck is this thing?" Eskel yelled and groaned as he was shoved to the ground. Eskel was starting to slow. The fight was going on much longer than he anticipated. His bones felt too heavy and his legs felt like mush.
"Jaskier, I'd suggest you run away now, this thing is going to best me finally!" Eskel yelled and silently pleaded that the bard would listen to him.
It seemed to have enough of Eskel and it turned to Jaskier who was wide-eyed and in a fighting stance. He had no weapon, Jaskier was going to kill himself. "Look at me you deer skull creep!" He yelled and Eskel sighed angrily. Though that bard may not like Geralt at the moment, Eskel is sure that he would be dead if he delivered the news that his beloved bard died in his care.
Then the leshy spoke in a garbled tongue and started to back away in fear. "The hell?" Eskel said and sat up and turned to look at the bard who had the look of someone who just killed their power hungry lord.
"Leave," the bard mouthed and it ran away before falling to the ground and burning up into flames.
It died as it withered away and Eskel finally let out a panicked breath. "How did you?" He stood up shakily and gripped the silver sword for balance. Jaskier had a panicked look on his face and laughed out of fear.
"Oh my gods, I had no idea if that would work or not!" Nervous laughter had filled the small clearing they were in. Eskel looked shocked and he went up to the rambling bard.
"How did you do that?" Eskel asked and looked at Jaskiers eyes. He noticed that they seemed to be an unnatural shade of blue.
Jaskier shook his head and shot his arms up. "I have no clue! Something just told me to do it and I did, I truly have no idea what I just did there friend."
"Holy shit I'm going to need a drink after we get our coin." Eskel mumbled and started to walk towards their horses.
Months passed and Eskel had allowed the bard to travel with him permanently. No fights had happened and Jaskier thought that maybe Eskel had been the right Witcher to travel with in the first place.
"Jaskier," Eskel said and looked down at his horse sadly. The winter months had been quickly catching up with the duo and Eskel knew his time to return home was approaching. "It's almost time for me to go back home."
Jaskier remained quiet but sighed, running his fingers through buttercup mane. The two had actually been working together to help calm Jaskier's chaos down in these previous months. Jaskier learned to fight with a silver sword and he only used his own magic in the most desperate situations.
Ever since the leshy was defeated, people have noticed that the air around their precious bard had changed. They soon became fearful of him in certain towns that had a history of untrustworthy individuals that had no control of their own chaos. In some towns he had a bounty but in others they had no clue about him. The road was becoming dangerous for Jaskier and more times than not the two had to sleep outside in the middle of nowhere.
"Can I join you?" Jaskier asked and expected a hard no and a scoff. Eskel looked at the magical bard and smiled a little. "I know I have a higher chance of running into him but it would be better than being kicked out of every small town I come across." He reasoned.
Eskel thought about it. The two had become good friends over the past months and he would enjoy the company of the strange bard over the winter months. Plus Geralt hasn't returned to Kaer Morten in years. "Alright."
Jaskier stopped talking and smiled brightly when Eskel agreed. "You have no idea how much this means to me! Truly you are an amazing friend."
The two started the trek up to the keep and made it there in record time, a tough winter storm was about to roll in. The fires burned brighter and warmer when Jaskier walked by with a smile on his face.
"This place is fantastic! How many Witchers do you think are going to return here this winter?" Jaskier asked as he dismounted his horse and tied her to a pole, right next to Eskels horse. He looked around and sighed when only a few fires were around them. Much less than it would be in town. "Thank gods you guys don't have many fires, I feel like I would have left immediately if there was one at every turn."
Jaskier got kidnapped a couple of times by the same person. And every time they were asking about Geralt. Eskel and him dubbed the crazy fuck, "fire fucker". His body was now unfortunately littered with old burns and a few had been on his fingertips. He couldn't play for a few weeks but he had an unusual healing rate and he was back to playing in no time.
"Yeah, there isn't many in the first place because we don't really need a lot of heat to survive in the first place." Eskel explained and started walking towards the huge doors and Jaskier followed excitedly. The main hall was bustling with activity as they opened the doors. Unfortunately the stench of hatred came off of every Witcher in the room. Jaskier took a deep breath, trying to ignore it.
"Eskel!" A red hair man yelled and stuck his hands out in the air for a hug. Eskel gladly took the hug and smiled as they let go.
"Lambert, how are you doing?" He asked and looked back at Jaskier for a moment, who was studying the architecture.
Lambert smiled "I'm doing great, before i got here I finished a bounty and got some good coin," Lambert then looked at Jaskier and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "Who's that?"
Jaskier snapped his head towards Lambert and smiled before introducing himself. "Ah, my name is Jaskier, I am a bard and joined your dear brother on the path."
Lambert walked up to him, fully right in his face. Eskel tensed up and looked at Veseimer, who was watching the whole thing. "As in the Jaskier who Geralt wouldn't shut up about every winter?"
Jaskier laughed and nodded anxiously. "Unfortunately. "
Lambert hummed and sighed like he couldn't figure something out. "You seem, strange."
Eskel walked up to the two and tried to separate them but Jaskier apparently had other ideas. "Now, now my dear Witcher, nothing is different about me! Just a humble bard." He said nervously which made the fire around them go smaller and smaller until they fizzled out. Lambert looked up at the fires and then back at the bard. "Shit, uhh, now that's nothing to be worried about!" The fires immediately went back to their previous state.
Eskel sighed and covered his face with his hand. "Lambert, we are actually in the middle of figuring it out please don't be stupid."
Lambert laughed and looked at Eskel with a questioning look. "So you just brought a Bard here with magical powers and he doesn't even know how to control it?"
Eskel realized how bad it sounded now. "Look he isn't here to harm any of us, he just needed a place to stay for the winter because half of the small towns down there would chase him out." Eskel reasoned and Vesemir stood up and walked next to them. Now all the Witchers in the room had their eyes on Jaskier.
"Do humans know what he is? Is that why they chase him out?" Vesemir spoke up and both Jaskier and Eskel shook their heads. "Come with me young man."
Jaskier looked at Eskel, worry filled his eyes and Eskel only sighed and nodded, letting Jaskier go with the elder Witcher.
Jaskier followed Vesemir quietly, afraid to say one word wrong. "We all had our eyes on you bard. We noticed something wrong In every town you visited. Though I'm sure you'll be happy when I say that Geralt has no idea what has been going on with you." Vesemir said and suddenly the breath that Jaskier had been holding was let out.
"Thank Gods because I would have no idea what to do if Geralt came after me after that damn leshy and killed me because he was still angry at the time." Jaskier admitted and looked around at the room they had just entered. It was a library.
Vesemir suddenly looked concerned as he went up to a shelf and took out a book. He read the title and deemed that it was fine. "Take this and read it, maybe you'll get insight about your problems. I met up with Geralt earlier in the year and he said it was unlikely that he would come home this winter. Please make yourself at home and enjoy your time here." Vesemir said and walked out of the library, leaving Jaskier in there alone.
He collapsed down on the ground and took a deep breath. He was thankful that Geralt wouldn't be joining his family this year. Jaskier finally took a look at the book and read the title, "Forest Gods and Elves". How was this supposed to give him ideas on what he was?
Jaskier read through the book for hours, staying in the same spot the whole time. He was deeply engrossed in the book and couldn't put it down. He had many similarities between both Elves and a forest God. It unsettled him and it left him with more questions than answers. He decided to take it with him and go to the main hall again to ask Vesmir his questions.
"Vesemir I do have some questions about the book you gave me, first of all why do I resemble the various forest gods and ancient Elves in this book, and how did you decide that this book-" Jaskier stopped talking and looked up when the intense smell of hatred and shame hit him. He felt his heart drop as he studied the two new faces in the room. One was a little girl and the other was his old travel partner. The small breeze that went through the room stopped and the fires had become small and fighting to burn again.
Geralt stood up and Jaskier grumbled and looked down at his feet, trying to ignore the white haired Witcher. "Geralt, who is he?" The little girl asked and received no answer. The room became much more tense when Geralt walked towards the bard. The other Witchers watched and became frozen when Geralt put a hand on Jaskiers shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Geralt asked and Jaskier scoffed and pushed his hand off of him.
"Not even a Hello? I see you haven't changed at all!" Jaskier waved his arms in the air and threw the heavy book at him. Geralt caught it and quickly glanced at a title before looking back at him. There was hurt in Geralt's eyes but Jaskier didn't care, not after everything he was put through just to unwillingly protect him. "I went through days of torture for you! Because this crazy fire fucker kept kidnapping me! And Eskel was the one that saved me from it, multiple times. I wished that you would come and save me at least once but that never fucking happened!"
"Jaskier-"
"Don't fucking Jaskier me!" The bard yelled and a gust of wind pushed Geralt to the ground. Geralt panicked once he found out he couldn't move. The other Witchers watched in shock and only the girl stood up in alarm. "Let me guess, is she your child surprise?" He pointed at her and she froze in place.
"Gods, it only took months for you to trust her without a doubt and it took ten fucking years to have you admit that you at least enjoy my company?"
Eskel finally stood up and walked up to Jaskier, trying to calm him down. "You left me to walk down that mountain because of that bitch of a sorceress! You left me all alone because I just kept making a mess of everything somehow!" Jaskier shot a look of warning at Eskel and he raised his hands and backed away. "You kept pushing me away because I was human and only bad things happen to humans when around Witcher, but guess what!" Jaskier grinned slightly.
Lambert suddenly pounced behind him and grabbed Jaskier's arms. Jaskier struggled and growled quietly at him, before Lambert was suddenly trapped against the wall. "Let me be angry dammit!"
He then laughed and the pressure holding the two men had died down and they were now able to move. Geralt still laid on the ground, watching Jaskier carefully. "I disintegrated a leshy goddammit, I can very well protect myself." He said and snatched the book up before motioning Vesemir to follow him and left the dining hall.
"You fucked up my boy," Vesemir said to Geralt before leaving the room.
Geralt took heavy breaths and the girl walked up to him. "Geralt, tell me who he is right now." She demanded and noticed the hurt look in his eyes.
"I don't know anymore." He said and stood up, then facing Eskel.
Eskel laughed a little in disbelief and shook his head. "He's still Jaskier, you just let something loose inside of him that day."