Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommy had always been seen on the internet as a loud, unpredictable, fun-loving kid.

The persona he kept up online was a fun one, but offline he really was anything but that. He sat at his desk, looking over the windows he had open on his monitor again and again. Youtube views, video plans, schoolwork, his stream schedule. He had to make sure it was perfect. He had to make sure nothing could go wrong.

The real Tommyinnit was calculated. He always knew what to do if something went wrong. He had responsibilities, he always has. The real Tommyinnit had a lot on his plate, and he was fine with it.

He was getting used to getting less and less sleep every night. Skipping meals to edit. He noticed once that his parents were a bit worried, but he couldn’t stay and talk about it. He had a stream in a few minutes and was just filling up a water bottle beforehand.

Tonight was a busy night too. His “Best of 2021” video had to come out in the next few days, and he still had an hour of footage to go through.

Wilbur had told Tommy about burnout before. He told him about the exhaustion he had gone through after churning out video after video, but Tommy had shrugged it off.

Now he… kinda gets it.

Tommy sat in his chair, staring at his monitor. He knew what to get done. He knew what to cut, what captions he had to add.

He knew how easy it was.

But he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.

It frustrated him.

His mind ran.

You’ve literally done this hundreds of times before, what’s wrong with you?

They’re waiting on you.

You shouldn’t be struggling here.

The thoughts went on and on, swimming in his brain until nothing else could take up space. Going in circles, always coming around again- constantly a reminder of his own inability to just stay focused, damn it!

It was too much. It was all too much.

The tears were clouding his vision, and with blurry eyes, he opened Discord and knew who he should call. Knew who could help. Who he needed.

He doesn’t want to talk to you.

No, Tommy shut his eyes and shook his head, he’ll talk me through it.

He doesn’t want to deal with a kid crying. Handle it yourself, you know that you can.

Tommy’s mouse hovered over the call icon by Wilbur’s profile.

He’s my brother, he thought. He’ll be okay helping me.

Right?

Right?

Right?

Right?

Right?

Right?

After a few minutes, instincts screaming, he pressed Call.

The call rang. And rang. And rang.

It rang right until Tommy lost hope, and then:

“Hey, Tommy.”

A tired sounding Wilbur picked up. Tommy remembered then that it was 1 in the morning.

He wiped his eyes. “Hey, Will. If you’re tired this isn’t really important, I forgot it was late, sorry.”

Tommy hadn't heard any kind of shake in his voice. His camera wasn't on, but Wilbur… Wilbur always could just sense when Tommy was upset, even over a bit on stream when he kept up his attitude. Still, it surprised Tommy when Wilbur immediately asked-

“Are you okay? You sound a bit off.”

“Um,” he let out a shaky breath. “I don’t… I don’t really know.”

He could practically hear Wilbur’s concern. Shuffling from the other side indicated that he had sat up from whatever position he was in – probably laying down – and immediately went all ‘mother hen’ on him.

“Alright, sweetheart, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it? You can tell me anything you need to.”

And the dam broke.

The tears fell, and in the midst of it, Tommy tried to tell Wilbur the situation he was in, but he just couldn’t. Every word he tried to get out was cut off by a sharp inhale, and his crying turned to sobs. He could focus on nothing but the thoughts still swirling in the whirlpool that was his head, and all the while, Wilbur was in the background, his voice far away, almost muffled.

It took a few minutes until Tommy could comprehend what he was saying.

“-my? Tommy breathe with me, okay? Can you do that sunshine? In for four, hold for four, out for four, okay?” Tommy hummed, but it just sounded like a whimper. Like he was a hurt puppy that couldn’t take care of himself. Still, Wilbur took that as a confirmation.

“Alright, just breathe with me sunshine. You’re doing great.”

And he did. He got a hold of his breathing after a few minutes, Wilbur affirming him all the way. His sobs turned to gasps which turned to sharp inhales and exhales, which were finally under control.

“Do you want to talk about it, Toms?”

Tommy paused. He knew that when he had first gotten Wilbur on the call, it was because he needed help. Because he was exhausted and needed a way to fix it. But now, on top of that exhaustion, there was an even heavier exhaustion from the panic attack he just had.

“Uh,” he started, his voice still shaky. “I wanted to call because i wanted to talk about something but now I’m just really tired, and I’m sorry that I got you on the call and had you deal with that, and-”

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Wilbur cut Tommy off. “First off, don’t apologize for getting me on a call if you needed me. Literally call me whenever you need me. You’re my #1 priority.

“And secondly,” he continued, “I totally understand that you’re tired. We can talk about it tomorrow then, does that work?”

That’s exactly the problem. I’m tired and I shouldn’t be. I’m tired and I have deadlines. I’m tired and I can't be tired right now, I have things to do.

He wanted to scream.

“Yeah.” Tommy sighed. “Works.”

“Alright. Drink some water, go to bed, okay?”

“Got it Will.”

“Alright. Goodnight Tommy. Love you.”

“Love you too Wilbur.”

…

“Will?”

“Mhm?”

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

Tommy opened his eyes. He had no idea when he had fallen asleep, he didn't even really remember hanging up with Wilbur.

He probably didn't, seeing that he was still at his desk. Tommy had fallen asleep in his chair again. He put his face in his hands and groaned. Today's gonna suck. 

He got up from his chair, trying his best not to look at the mirror on the wall before he left the room. Tommy hated looking at his face, especially after a rough night. His eye bags made him look like a racoon. Twitter would have a field day with that.

He drowsily walked downstairs to grab something to eat. I don't know, a cheese stick or something, maybe. He couldn't stomach a huge breakfast right now.

Second thought, Tommy didn't think he could bring himself to do... Well. Anything.

Today's plan was to grab a fuckin cheese stick or whatever, go to his room, bundle himself up in throw blankets, and watch old MCC VODs. Yeah. That sounded nice. I mean, he'd feel awful the whole time, but it's better than another breakdown.

He made it to the kitchen, expecting to get in and out quickly, but instead-

Wilbur Soot. Was in his kitchen. Just. Talking to his mom. 

Tommy stared. He stared and stared, so confused.

"What-" he cleared his throat, his voice was scratchy as hell. "-the fuck?"

They both turned their heads towards Tommy. It was then that Tommy realized that he definitely looked like shit, he could tell by the way Wilbur paused and quickly looked him up and down.

He was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, both of them a size too big on him, that he'd been wearing for like 3 days straight. His hair wasn't brushed, and of course, the bags under his eyes. Realizing all of this at once, Tommy ran his hands through his hair. It was really all he could do. 

"Toms! How are you doin, man!" Wilbur smiled, and walked towards Tommy, arms outstretched. Tommy let the shock from the man's presence fade away, and practically ran at his and hugged him. 

Tommy hadn't realized how much he had missed Wilbur's hugs. He held on tight and didn't let go, even when Wilbur did that awkward laugh thing that people always do at the end of hugs.

What can I say, man. He missed his big brother.

"I'm doing better now." he mumbled, face still close to Wilbur's chest. Wilbur cooed, being dramatic for Tommy's mom, who was sat there watching the two with a smile on her face.They separated, and Wilbur smiled at Tommy fondly.

"So, Toms, i've got permission from Motherinnit to kidnap you for the weekend. How does that sound?"

Tommy smiled, and internally knew exactly what Wilbur was doing. He was gonna put on a movie and then they were gonna sit on a couch and talk about their feelings. Probably get ice cream afterward, Normally Tommy would be annoyed with the sappy shit, but-

-he could use a feelings talk. Or just any talk with Wilbur.

"Sounds amazing. let me just... wash up and stuff." Tommy started back up the stairs, not wanting to keep Wilbur waiting for too long. "help yourself to anything in the kitchen!

Tommy came down the stairs, a backpack in tow, after taking a quick shower and changing. It made him feel a little better, he was still tired but it was definitely bearable. 

"Ready to go?" he called down the stairs. Wilbur smiled at him, then and his mom, and replied, "Alright, let's hit the road then!"

Tommy said bye to his mom, and off they were.

The car ride was fun. Wilbur had gotten some unreleased Lovejoy songs on his phone for Tommy, and he fell in love his Wilbur's music all over again. Wilbur told him once that they had written 30 songs, and ended up cutting all but 7 for their new EP, and Tommy just couldn't believe it. They spent the entire car ride singing songs they knew, and in Tommy's case, freaking out about songs he was just hearing for the first time.

Wilbur found that there was a whole different side to Tommy when he was listening to music. He got so into it- he was able to focus on every instrument, and with Wilbur's music, he was so incredibly supportive to the point where it made Wilbur emotional. He really loved this kid.

Which was why he was so concerned after what had happened last night.

When you little brother calls you , totally panicking to the point where he can't even say what wrong? It's concerning enough to drive to his house and steal him for the weekend.

Yep. Perfectly reasonable.

They got to Wilbur's flat, and Tommy immediately put his bag down and flopped across the sofa, face first. Wilbur laughed. 

"You okay bro?" He asked. Tommy flipped over.

"I love your place. It's so... I don't even know how to describe it man. It's just good."

Wilbur smiled. "Well, it's good to know my place is good." He walked over to the couch, grabbed the remote, and say next to where Tommy was laying down.
"What do you wanna watch?"

Tommy looked up at him. "Is that even a question?"

"Fair enough."

He put on Up.

As the movie started, Tommy sat up and moved next to Wilbur on the couch. Wilbur put his arm around him, and the two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the movie. Finally, Wilbur decided to break the ice.

"Do you wanna talk about last night? You don't have to if you don't want to."

Tommy sighed, shrinking into Wilbur's side a bit more.

"I don't know. I'm just tired."

"Oh, well if you wanna nap or something, go for it, we can talk about it later-"

"No, it's-" Tommy cut him off, and sat up. "-it's a different kind of tired, not the sleep kind. Like there are so many things I have to be doing and it's just getting to be a lot, I guess." They made eye contact, but Tommy broke away. "Yesterday I just had so much to do, and I got overwhelmed,"

Realization hit Wilbur. "Do you remember when I was talking to you about burnout? Was it like that?" Tommy nodded. Wilbur hugged him, holding the boy to his chest.

"Honestly, for you to be burnt out makes total sense. You're always doing so so much, darling, and it's admirable, but I need you to make sure that you take breaks and don't stretch yourself too thin, okay? I gotta make sure my little brother takes care of himself."

He pushed his hands through Tommy's hair, who was sniffling a little bit. 

"It's okay, sunshine. you're okay."

They stayed like that until the end of the movie- Tommy because he had fallen asleep halfway through, and Wilbur because he was not allowed to move and disturb Tommy. I mean, come on. That's just the law. 

The credits rolled, and Wilbur looked down at his brother. He kissed the top of his head.

"Love you, Toms."

Little did he know, Tommy hadn't completely fallen asleep. He held Wilbur just a little tighter,