Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Deb drums her fingers onto the steering wheel as anxiety balloons in her stomach. She could drive back now, no one would ever know she was here. Deb barely knew anything about Tree Hill during her short relationship with Dan. Sure, he bragged about his accomplishments on the basketball team, but any further questions were redirected. Maybe that should’ve been a red flag. No happy guy with no secrets is hesitant to talk about his life. All he spoke of was basketball and Keith. Even the latter was sparse and only came up when Deb said she had a younger brother.

“Lucky,” Dan sniped back. “I have an older one.”

“What’s his name?”

“Keith.”

“Is he in Tree Hill?”

Silence. A moment later they were talking about the upcoming game. Deb wouldn’t hear anything more about Keith until Dan was nothing but a cloud of dust. As soon as she found out she was pregnant, he lost all interest. A part of Deb will never be surprised. All he could talk about when they dated was his future in basketball. None of that included a family, Dan barely spoke of the one he had.

Keith showed up at her apartment three weeks ago and Deb barely recognized him from a family photo Dan kept in his dorm. There wasn’t much resemblance between them, both in looks and personality. Keith’s smile was warm, his eyes kind. He held his hand out to shake as soon as she opened the door. Deb felt safe to let him into the apartment as soon as he introduced himself.

“I hear I have a niece or nephew.”

“Nephew,” Deb corrected. “I’m surprised Dan told you. Last I heard he wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Dan didn’t. I have a friend who attends Duke, he filled me in.”

“That makes more sense.” Deb paused, looking down at her outfit. Her mom would have a cow if she found out she answered the door in sweats and a robe. Up until her pregnancy, she wore sundresses and jeans that squeezed her uncomfortably. She’s unsure of the last time she showered. “I’m sorry, if Dan didn’t tell you…why are you here?”

“I know who my brother is. I’m not going to make excuses for him. I can’t even promise our parents will come around. But I can’t turn my back on my family.”

“Dan’s your family.”

Keith scoffed. “Dan wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire. And after this past year, I’m not sure how much blood matters anyhow.”

Deb pursed her lips together. “And yet you’re here.”

“Yes, not just for…”

“Nathan,” Deb whispered. “His name is Nathan.”

“Nathan,” Keith smiled. “I’m not just here for Nathan, but Lucas as well.”

“Who’s Lucas?”

“Deb, before Dan went to college, he had a girlfriend. He got her pregnant and took off on her.”

He dug through his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Upon opening it, he removed a picture. Deb’s fingers trembled as she accepted it from him. Keith beamed towards the camera, sitting beside a woman with long dark hair. Nestled on her lap is a baby, dressed in all denim like his mother. She gazed down at him in the way only a mother could.

“He can’t be much older than Nathan,” she whispered.

“Lucas is 8 months old.”

“Nathan is 5.” She cleared her throat, breaking her eyes away from the photograph. “Does she know? About me? Him?”

“I told her before I came here. She wants to meet you.”

“Then why are you here?” Deb snapped, shaking her head.

“Karen has faced enough rejection in the past year,” Keith replied, his voice still kind. He really isn’t like his brother. “If you said no, I don’t think she could handle it.” Deb didn’t say anything, clinging tighter to the photograph in hand. “I have a terrible relationship with my brother, I think you can tell that by now. I want more for my nephews. I think they deserve a fair shot. Don’t you?”

Nathan coos from the backseat and Deb gazes back at him. He fussed the entire two-hour ride and only now has grown quiet. His gummy mouth forms a smile once he catches sight of her. She can’t help but match it. In the midst of Dan leaving, being forced to drop out of college and her parents turning their backs, he has truly been the one bright spot in all of this.

“Do you want a brother?” Deb whispers.

Nathan just smiles. Deb sighs, cutting the engine. She doesn’t know Karen. From how Keith’s described her, they have very little in common.

Except their sons share blood.

After wrestling with the car seat that Nathan is quickly outgrowing, Deb is making her way up the steps to the apartment. She holds her breath as she knocks, trying to keep Nathan from squirming out of her grasp. The door opens and Karen stands there. She’s in sweats of her own, long hair thrown back in a ponytail. Like Deb, her face is makeup free.

“Deb?” Karen asks.

She nods. “And you must be Karen.”

“I am.” A beat passes. “This is…”

“Nathan. Nathan Scott.”

Karen tilts her head. “Scott?”

“Dan may want to deny him, but he’s a Scott.”

“I um…I gave Lucas his last name too.”

A bit of warmth fills Deb’s stomach. She opens her mouth to speak, but a cry rings out the door. Karen turns around, heading for the living room. Deb lingers in the doorway a moment, watching as she lifts a baby bigger than Nathan from a colorful playpen in the center of the room.

“You can come in,” Karen calls above the shrieking.

Deb’s legs shake a bit as she crosses the threshold. Nathan begins to fuss himself and Deb moves to rock and shush him. For a moment, she forgets where she is. In a stranger’s living room, just a foot away from her son’s older brother. All that matters is her own child, disturbed by the sudden fussing. There’s about 5 minutes where the only things said by either woman are comforting words to their babies. Lucas settles first, Nathan calming not long after. Karen plants a kiss to the top of Lucas’ head and for the first time, Deb gets a good look at him. While Nathan has dark fuzz, Lucas already has some blonde hair, nearly white. Both boys have big blue eyes, staring at their respective mother.

“He’s blonde,” Deb murmurs.

“Yeah, I’m wondering if it’ll darken soon. I have no one in my family. Dan’s mom is blonde though.”

“I never met her.”

Karen nods, shifting Lucas to her hip. “So.”

“So.”

“Fuck Dan, huh?”

The laughter bubbles out before Deb can help it. Karen is giggling right alongside of her. Deb lowers Nathan into the playpen, afraid she’ll drop him otherwise. She leans against it, tears burning her eyes. This is the most she’s laughed in the past year and she had no clue just how much she needed it.

“You’re right,” she finally manages to get out. “It is weird how much I used to love him and now…I can’t fucking stand him.”

Karen’s laughter roars, nodding her head. The two women stand there, laughing as the tears fall until finally, Deb needs to catch her breath. She focuses in on the playpen, where Lucas now sits too. Both brothers stare curiously at one another, a small, foam basketball clutched in Lucas’ grip.

“Do you think they can tell?” Deb whispers. “I mean…do you think they feel something?”

“I don’t know. I once read about these twins that were separated at birth. They said they always felt like something was missing but they never knew what until they met one another.”

Deb swallows. “Nathan’s already growing up without a father. Heaven knows what that’ll do to him. But to know that he could’ve had a brother…”

“He doesn’t have to wonder, you know?”

“I live in Durham, you’re all the way here…”

“We can make it work.”

“You don’t even know me. I could be a serial killer.”

“So could I and yet here you are.”

“Yeah, well,” Deb shrugs. “Keith vouched for you. Not even sure why I trusted him.”

“Because he’s Keith. He picked his nephews over a relationship with his brother. I think he’s probably the sweetest man I’ve ever known.”

Deb cocks an eyebrow. “Are you two…”

Karen waves her hand. “God, no. He’s just a friend. But a good one, at the end of it all. I know he’d be that for you. If you wanted to open the door that is.”

Deb gazes down at the boys. Lucas has gone to suck on his basketball and Nathan is on his back, wiggling about. They’re too young to play with one another, but one day they could be friends. Brothers. Better than their father and uncle ever were.

“I want to do right by Nathan,” Deb says. “So, maybe I could come down here? A couple of weekends a month?”

“We could come to you as well, if I don’t have to work.”

“I’d like that,” Deb whispers.

“Look, I know it’s awkward,” Karen shrugs. “And I doubt we’ll ever be best friends. But we owe it to the boys to try to get along.”

“Yeah,” Deb admits. “I’d say we do.”

Chapter Text

Deb doesn’t expect for them to actually stay in contact. She pictures maybe one or two visits before it becomes too much on the boys or them.

It slowly becomes a routine. Two weekends a month, Deb drives down to Tree Hill. At least one week in the middle, Karen spends her day off to come to Durham. Sometimes she brings Keith with her. As the boys learn to play, they roll balls back and forth, tackle one another and crawl/chase each other around their small apartment. Lucas walks first and by the next visit, Nathan is trying to keep up to his big brother.

Deb and Karen have nothing in common to the passerby. Karen grew up in a blue collar family, hard work is all she’s ever known. Deb’s parents come from money and she spent her early years in private school. Karen works as a waitress, while Deb is living off the inheritance her grandmother left her. Yet, beneath the surface, they’re both single moms. Karen’s family couldn’t afford to help her with Lucas and she’s insisted on doing most of it on her own. Deb’s family cut her off as soon as she rejected the idea of giving her baby up for adoption. Karen’s friends all went off to college and don’t write or visit. Deb’s not even sure if she ever had a real friend. The only other people they have are each other and Keith. 

One sunny afternoon six months into their new arrangement, the two stand in the only park in Tree Hill. Lucas’ birthday was two months ago and Nathan’s is just weeks away. Both boys are in the 90th percentile for height and weight. Everyone says they could play basketball one day. They’re still not sure if they’ll allow it.

Both moms push their babies in the swings in silence for a bit. Lucas keeps reaching for Nathan’s hand, just missing it with each push.

“I need to get a job,” Deb says.

Karen tilts her head. “I thought you had that money from your grandparents.”

“I do, but it’s running low and it won’t last me forever. Especially with rent in Durham being what it is.”

“Have you thought about moving?”

“I can’t exactly go home, you know? All I’ve ever known is the Durham area.”

“My neighbor just moved out,” Karen says. “And I know for sure there’s plenty of places around here hiring.”

“Tree Hill?” Deb pauses the swing, which only makes Nathan whine. She sighs and resumes, bringing happiness back to him. “I don’t know. I’ve never done small town.”

“It’s not that bad. Not like we’re a town full of zombies.”

Deb partially smiles. “It’s just...everyone already talks. If I move in next to you, what are they going to say?”

“You know what I’m sick of?” Deb shakes her head. “Acting like we’re the ones who should be ashamed. Sure, maybe we got pregnant at 18, but we certainly didn’t do it on our own. We also stepped the hell up for our kids. Where’s Dan?”

Deb ducks her head. She tries not to give her ex headspace these days. Some are easier than others. Occasionally, she’ll see him in town. He’s usually with friends, headed for a bar. Meanwhile she’s struggling to carry Nathan and heavy bags of groceries.

“He’s the coward that took off on his kids. He should be the one that’s ashamed, not us.”

“Something tells me Dan doesn’t care enough to be ashamed.”

“That’s not my problem anymore.” Karen shrugs. “The way I look at it, people are going to talk whether we like it or not. All we can control is what we do. And I plan on doing the best for my son.”

Deb sighs, stroking Nathan’s hair when he comes back in from a high push. For the first 5 months of his life, she was completely alone. Now she has friends in Tree Hill. It’s great to have the weekends, to have other adults to talk to. Could she really have it all the time?

“I’d have to figure out childcare.”

“You’d have to do that in Durham.”

“True.” She twists the chains of the swing a bit. “You think your landlord would let me take a look at the vacant apartment.”

Karen grins, reaching down to pick up Lucas. “It’s worth an ask.”

Chapter Text

Nathan nearly stumbles down the steps, gripping tightly onto the railing. He glances back at the window, but the curtain hasn’t moved. If his mom sees that he nearly fell, she might change her mind about him walking by himself to Karen and Lucas’ apartment. Despite it being right next door, up until today, his mom has always accompanied him. Nathan’s not a baby anymore, though. He’s 7! He can walk the 15 steps (of course he’s counted) from his door to Lucas’ on his own. His mom has always argued.

Today, however, she’s busy going over a bunch of boring papers. She warned him that Karen probably is too. Nathan doesn’t understand why there’s so much writing involved when opening the café. They seem to spend most of the day writing their names over and over again. While the papers seem boring, at the very least it allows him prove he’s big enough now.

Basketball under his arm, he bounces down the last step. Karen may be too busy to take them to the River Court but they can probably use the hoop on Lucas’ door. Nathan makes it up the identical steps next to his own apartment and knocks three times.

“Come in,” Karen calls out.

Nathan obliges, kicking off his shoes as soon as he enters the door. He quickly waves to Karen who sits in the den, looking over her own pile of papers. Down the hall and to his right, Nathan finds Lucas’ door. He walks in without knocking, ready to throw the ball at his head…only to stop when he sees his brother isn’t alone. Next to him on the floor is Haley. Nathan’s seen her on the playground but they’re not in the same class. She’s always sitting on a bench, reading. Today she’s got a book with her too. Frogs are on the open page with magnifying glasses on top of them.

Lucas looks up with a huge grin on his face. “Hey Nate. We’re reading about frogs.”

“Why is she here?”

“My mom and dad both had to work,” Haley says. “And my sisters were too busy to watch me. I think Vivian had a date.” She makes a face.

“Oh. Ew.” Nathan wrinkles his nose. “Well, come on. We can play basketball.”

“I don’t like basketball.”

“Have you even ever tried to play?”

“In gym. It’s stupid.”

Nathan narrows his eyes. “You’re stupid.”

Haley gasps and Lucas puts a hand on her back. He frowns at his younger brother, making Nathan confused. They love basketball. If their moms would let them, they’d play it all day, every day. How can he hang out with someone who thinks it’s stupid?

“That’s not nice.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“You can read with us.”

Nathan frowns and plops to the floor in front of them. His face scrunches up as he tries to make out the words. As usual, it’s making his head hurt to look at. He guesses that the first word of the sentence has to be “frogs”, given the pictures. The rest is a jumble to him.

“Frogs…” he blinks, trying to make out the next word. “Frogs…can…found…mold?”

Haley shakes her head, putting her finger underneath the words as she reads. “Frogs can be found all over the world.”

“Nuh uh. There’s no way that’s what it says! That’s a m.”

“No, it’s a w.”

Lucas peers over Haley’s shoulder. “She’s right, Nate. That says world.”

Nathan’s cheeks feel hot, just like they do every time he looks at a book. This is why he stopped trying to read aloud at school. Every time he tries, Miss Johnson always corrects him. Now, every time she asks, he makes a joke. It gets her to roll her eyes, shake her head and move onto Brooke beside him.

“This book is dumb. I don’t wanna read it anymore. I’m going home.”

Lucas’ smile disappears. “But I thought we were gonna play.”

“We can play later, when she’s not here.”

Nathan get up, grabbing his ball and storming out of the room. He doesn’t even try to be careful as he runs down the steps and back to his apartment. When his mom calls out for him, he goes to his room and shuts the door. Nathan throws the ball into his own small hoop a fe times, but it’s no fun to do it alone.

“Stupid Haley,” he mumbles.

If Haley wasn’t there, he and Lucas could’ve played basketball.  He wouldn’t have had to look at that book and then he wouldn’t have looked so stupid. Why did she have to be there anyway? Didn’t she have other friends she could hang out with?

Nathan thinks about calling someone else, but his mom is too busy to take him and there’s no way she’s going to let him walk anywhere else. He throws himself down on the floor and starts throwing his ball against the wall, over and over again.

“Nathan!” His mom calls from the living room. “What have I told you about that?”

He doesn’t say anything and continues, watching closely as a picture of him, his mom, Lucas, Karen and Keith on the wall bounces with each throw. His mom continues to yell for him and once again, he ignores her. A few moments later, footsteps can be heard across the hall. Nathan manages to throw the ball one last time before his door bursts open. It falls gracefully right below the picture and begins to roll back to him. His mom holds out her foot, stopping the ball in place.

“Nathan Cooper Scott,” she says. Nathan sinks down a bit in place. “I have told you a million times, if you want to throw the ball inside, you use the hoop. Not the wall.”

“It was an accident.”

“An accident you kept repeating?” She raises an eyebrow and Nathan stares at the floor. Deb sighs. “I thought you were going to play at Karen’s for a little bit. Why did you come home?”

“Lucas had a friend over,” he mumbles.

“Which friend?” Nathan doesn’t say anything. “You love Marvin, Anton and Jimmy. Why wouldn’t you stay?”

“They weren’t there. It was Haley.”

Deb tilts her head. “Haley?”

“She’s in Luke’s class.”

“Well, why can’t all of you play together?”

Nathan rolls his eyes. “Haley doesn’t like basketball.”

Deb shakes her head. “There is more to life than basketball, Nathan. I’m sure the three of you could’ve found something to do.”

“We looked at some dumb book and Haley kept telling me I got the words wrong. Luke said she was right. I didn’t want to play with her anymore.”

It’s Deb’s turn to be quiet for a moment. She lowers herself onto the floor next to Nathan and places her hand on his back. Nathan tilts his head. Normally, she’d talk to him about not throwing the ball and give him something else to do.

“Sweetie…I wanted to talk to you about this. I planned to, tonight, actually.”

“About what?”

“Well, yesterday I had a meeting with Miss Johnson,” she says softly. “We were talking about how you’re doing in school. And she mentioned that you’ve been struggling a lot with math and reading.”

Nathan makes a face. “No, I haven’t.”

“She told me that you’ve avoided reading out loud and that you sometimes mix up words.”

“The books are just stupid. Same with math. The numbers keep changing up on me.”

“I know.” Nathan looks up at her. “When your uncle Cooper was around your age, he went through the same thing. He also got into trouble a lot because he’d act out whenever he didn’t understand something in class.”

“Uncle Coop is cool, though. He drives race cars.”

“He does and he’s doing a lot better now. At the time, everyone thought maybe he was lazy or didn’t want to understand. Recently, though, there’s been a lot of new stuff that’s come out. Including something called dyslexia.”

“What’s that?”

“It means that for people who have it, they struggle with reading. They mix up words and letters that may look like other ones.” Deb pauses. “Sweetie…when you do read, what happens?”

Nathan gnaws on his lip. “Nothing.”

“Nathan, come on. This is important. Tell me what happens when you try to read?”

Nathan stares at the ball that’s now discarded. He doesn’t even like to look at books anymore. Lucas loves them and when they were younger, he would read when Nathan couldn’t. Everyone thought it was cute. Then after kindergarten, they got put in different classes. Miss Johnson kept saying he just needed to find “the right book”. But after countless ones, Nathan gave up.

“They make my head hurt,” he mumbles.

“What was that?”

“They make my head hurt, okay? And I always mix up the words. I think it looks like something and then everyone’s saying I’m wrong.”

“And with math?”

“Miss Johnson says that my 5s look like 2s, but I know how to write them.”

Deb frowns and Nathan shrinks into himself a bit. He and Lucas talk a lot about how worried their moms get. They’re always getting sad about something. They don’t want to make them sad either, so they agreed they wouldn’t tell them things that would. For Lucas, it’s that he feels funny whenever he plays basketball. Nathan’s is how hard it is for him to read or look at numbers in his math workbook.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Oh sweetheart,” Deb wraps an arm around him, kissing the top of his head. “Don’t be sorry. I understand how hard this is for you. It’s not your fault and we’re going to get you some help. So when you look at a book or numbers, it’ll be easier to understand.”

“How?”

“Miss Johnson says that she’s going to talk to another teacher. They’ll do a test to make sure you really have dyslexia and then from there, we’ll see what we can do. Does that sound good?”

“I guess…I could just never read.”

Deb laughs, shaking her head. “Reading is important.”

“I won’t have to read if I become a famous basketball player.”

“Oh, yes you will. You know some of those things I’m signing right now? Those are contracts. And almost every job has them, including basketball players. You’ll want to read it so you can get the most money you can.”

Nathan thinks about it for a minute. “I guess.”

“Exactly.” She kisses the top of his head. “I love you, sweetie.”

“I love you too, Mommy.”

“Do you want to go back to your brother’s? Maybe the two of you and Haley could do something that’s not basketball or looking at books.”

Nathan does want to play with Lucas. At the same time, Haley knows now that he can’t read. She’ll probably make fun of him and wouldn’t want him around anyway. Nathan doesn’t want to embarrass himself all over again.

“No. Can I stay here and watch TV instead?”

“Are you sure that’s what you really want to do?”

“I’ll go to Lucas’ when Haley goes home.”

Deb’s frown returns and Nathan isn’t sure why.