Archive of Our Own ^beta

Wow , is all Jungkook can think as he stands in front of his full length mirror admiring the way intricate golden lace looks against his own golden skin. Jungkook has wanted to purchase lingerie for as long as he can remember, but never had the gumption to go through with an order. Always worrying about family or housemates accepting the delivery on his behalf, it was something Jungkook had been very nervous about and hesitant towards. Imagining all the questions he could get asked, all the suggestive looks that would be thrown his way. Just the mere thought had bile rising in the back of Jungkook’s throat.

His fascination with lingerie was a slow burner, a continuous thought driving towards the forefront of his brain. As a fairly bulky guy who likes going to the gym and working on his physique, Jungkook always thought that lingerie would look weird on him, that it wasn’t built for his figure, that it was not meant for him. There’s also the sexual connotation that comes with lingerie. The implication that you wear it for the gratification of someone else. To put on lacy clothes just to have them taken off by someone else’s hands. That always made Jungkook uncomfortable, for multiple reasons.

So, although he truly loved the idea of wearing lingerie, he had a lot of mixed feelings about it. When he moved into his new place, finally living on his own and able to keep it a personal affair away from prying and judgemental eyes, Jungkook ordered the golden piece he had been eyeing up for a while without any hesitation. The gold bodysuit stood out to him from the very beginning. He imagined the way it would compliment his own golden blonde hair, and the sparks of warm tones throughout the tattoos littering his skin. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw the item of clothing, and he so desperately wanted to own it, to have it in his hands and wear it on his body. So naturally, the minute it came in the post, Jungkook ran into his bedroom, closing the door for the added privacy and immediately got changed.

Here he is now, standing in front of his mirror, admiring the sight before him. His eyes race along his body, from his chest down to his thighs, the sheer golden lace glistens against his pigmentation. The fabric clings so close to him, almost like a second skin, making the lace look like intricate golden tattoos. 

Any worries Jungkook had towards owning and wearing lingerie left his mind immediately, the negative emotions replaced with a soft and happy chuckle bubbling out of his mouth. He can’t help it. He feels giddy all of a sudden. Jungkook’s been imagining this moment for a very long time, and to see himself in the way he had always pictured, he’s ecstatic. And what really tips Jungkook over the edge is how much better he looks than he ever thought possible. Never did Jungkook imagine that his muscles would actually enhance the way the lingerie fitted him, rather than look foreign and misplaced. It’s the way his pectorals fill the cups of the underwired bralette section, with his piercing shining through the sheer lace. He feels so…

Pretty.

He dances his fingertips across the lace, following the patterns of the golden petals and leaves from his collarbone to his waist. Letting his hands disappear behind his back, he ghosts over the ribbon that ties the bodysuit in place. Cocking his head to the side, Jungkook gives the ribbon a curious tug, cinching his waist tighter, just to see how it looks. A blush blooms across his cheeks, excitement coursing through his veins as he sees just how s mall his waist looks like this. Small has never been a word Jungkook has used to describe himself. Almost six feet tall with chiselled muscles covering his entire frame, he’s categorised as broad and athletic. But right now, with his strong hands holding the ribbon tight against his petite waist, Jungkook looks small and delicate for the first time ever.

Then, he brings his hands back around to his front, admiring the stark contrast between the golden lace and his tattooed fingers. To others it might look funny, but to Jungkook it’s perfect. He’s always considered himself a walking and talking contradiction. A hard exterior of a dozen piercings, countless tattoos and too many muscles paired with a shy personality, a bashful smile and wide imploring eyes. His eyes only seem to grow wider as they track the movements of his hands as they follow the cursive pattern towards his belly button. He lets out a contemplative hum, eyeing the way his cock looks hidden behind the fabric, the head sitting just above the seam at the hips. 

When searching the internet for the perfect piece, Jungkook was surrounded by female bodies. Big breasts in bras and not a cock in sight. Even when seeing a male drag queen posing in such clothing, their dicks were always tucked away, hidden from view. He wondered how an item of clothing created for one anatomy would look on himself, worrying that once again, that the fabric wasn’t meant for him to wear. Jungkook has always believed that clothing is genderless, has tried to break that old fashioned view that skirts are for women and trousers are for men. Undergarments were the next step, one he has been itching to take for too long now. He’s not going to let the outside world ruin this private moment. If Jungkook wants to wear golden lace, he will wear golden lace. And he will look absolutely stunning whilst doing so.

As his hands trace over where his penis is positioned, lying up against his stomach, a startled gasp breaches past his lips. With the sheer lace between his cock and his hand, it almost feels as if the fingers touching him are not his own. It’s an odd feeling, one that has Jungkook holding his breath in the hope that time stops long enough for him to process it all. 

Throughout Jungkook’s adolescence he’s always found sex difficult, the whole affair taxing and uncomfortable which is the opposite of what the movies make it look like. For a long time, Jungkook believed he was broken, that there must be something wrong with him. How could he not enjoy sex when everyone else does? It wasn’t that his body didn’t respond to stimuli, that wasn’t the case at all. It was more the feeling of foreign hands on his skin that made his throat close up and body grow stiff. It all felt incredibly wrong, even if the hardness of his dick made everything appear to be fine. After countless orgasms that never felt fulfilling and rounds of clean up that made Jungkook heave, he stumbled across asexuality and everything changed.

The beauty of asexuality is that it exists as a spectrum. There’s no one size fits all classification, but a wide umbrella to perch underneath that will protect you from conflicting thoughts and feelings falling down on you like rain. At first, Jungkook believed he was sex repulsed due to how uncomfortable he’s felt with partners and how disgusted he is by bodily fluids. But after a lot of reading and self discovery, he found that he did enjoy sexual pleasure, just by himself and at his own pace. Now when Jungkook masturbates he feels empowered, strong and confident. Being in full control of how his body feels and reacts by regaining that sexual power was groundbreaking for him. 

And he’s determined to have more groundbreaking discoveries. Along with asexuality being a spectrum, it is also fluid. Jungkook may identify as asexual right now, and struggle to have sexual relations with other people right now, but that might not be the case forever. Just like he is comfortable with being asexual, he is also comfortable with his asexuality changing as he learns more about himself and goes on this journey. He’s open minded, and curious about his boundaries and limits. Is he ready to test those yet? No, not quite. But someday he might be and that’s exciting in itself. For now, he wants to focus on himself, and how he can experience sexual pleasure without needing somebody else to do it for him. Lingerie is the first step, encouraging him to love his body and feel sexy for himself instead of others. 

Jungkook didn’t put on this bodysuit in order to masturbate, but more to indulge himself a little and give in to a fantasy he’s been clinging onto for so long. Did the possibility of masturbating cross his mind as he took the lacy fabric out of it’s box? Of course it did, but only as a possibility. If he decides to go through with it, fine. If he finds himself uncomfortable and decides not to, that’s also fine. Jungkook’s doing this for himself, meaning there are no expectations he has to live up to and no inevitable disappointment to follow.

With a deep breath, Jungkook continues to move his hand. Feather light touches travel up and down his girth, making his entire body rise in goosebumps. It still feels oddly like someone else is touching him, but Jungkook makes the point to look. To watch himself in the mirror, study the way his hands move and cock twitches. The way his chest shudders with every breath he takes and eyes haze over as the pleasure starts to really kick in. All it takes is one look in the mirror for Jungkook to realise that it’s just him and his own pleasure. That he’s safe to take things as fast or as slow as he wants. He’s in no rush and no hurry. He can let the pleasure build, his senses heighten and the feeling of warmth take over his body one heartbeat at a time.

Just like that, it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to reach full hardness, the fabric stretching over his stomach to make room. It should look wrong, with the flowers and petals contorting in shape in order to accommodate him. But it doesn’t. It looks beautiful, pretty, ethereal. 

The giddiness Jungkook felt earlier comes back in full force, to the point where he physically cannot stop himself from smiling. Jungkook thinks to himself, ‘ this is what pleasure feels like’. Not just the sexual stimuli, but the sheer happiness and joy of feeling good, confident and proud. The array of feelings and emotions coming together in a sense of bliss that Jungkook hasn’t felt before. 

He continues with the light touches, practically dancing his fingers over himself. With two hands he can cover a lot of his body, touching everywhere he can reach. Each new touch brings a new sensation, and Jungkook makes mental notes throughout. How sensitive the insides of his thighs are, practically ticklish with how the skin jumps at the contact but never strays too far away from the touch. How his nipples turn hard and whilst he toys with the piercing inside them, he feels the strangely addictive mix of pain and pleasure melting into one jaw dropping feeling. How the pressure from squeezing his balls back inside the confines of the bodysuit sends a suckerpunch of pleasure right up into his stomach in a way that has his head spinning. And he keeps going, just like that, until he feels well and truly sated.

Jungkook gave up on orgasms a long time ago, knowing that they weren’t the be all and end all of sexual pleasure, but merely a supposed ‘end goal’ people tried to reach. In all honesty, Jungkook’s not sure what the fuss is all about. Instead of chasing a feeling too intense for him to handle and actually enjoy, Jungkook keeps himself just below that line, his body burning with pleasure consistently throughout. When his brain goes a little too fuzzy and his touches feel a little too electric, he simply slows down until he stops, feeling a sense of bliss and comfort from self-derived pleasure.

Blinking slowly and taking a deep breath, Jungkook steps back until he feels the bed against the back of his legs. Sated and tired, he drops onto the mattress, allowing his body to fall back and fully relax. He closes his eyes for the briefest of moments, waiting for his breathing and heart rate to go back to normal. When they do, he sits up a little, propped up on his elbows. He smiles at himself in the mirror, still so giddy with how beautiful he feels dressed up in golden lace like this. Looking down, he sees himself start to soften and breathes a sigh of relief. ‘What a waste it would be to cum all over my brand new lace bodysuit,’ he thinks. Sure, Jungkook likes doing laundry but he’d hate to tarnish such beautiful clothes.

Standing up on slightly wobbly legs, Jungkook takes himself in once again as he twirls in front of the mirror. It feels great to be able to explore himself like this, in the safety and comfort of his own home. Jungkook’s not sure how he’d explain his sexual preferences to other people, but in situations like this, he doesn’t have to. All that matters is how Jungkook feels within himself, because at the end of the day, it’s all about him. 

Just Jungkook, and his sexual pleasure, in whatever shape or form that feels good for him.