oh no another chatfic OH NO

Quinn: you said you were going to make an effort and you WILL make an effort so help me god
Artie: are we gonna go and study together
Quinn: yes because clearly you all are incapable of studying by yourselves
Rachel: And it is mandatory for everyone to come.
Parker: what??!?? noooo rachel nooo i can pass that in my sleep pls dont make me come
Quinn: great so you can help tutor them
Parker: NOOOOOOOOO
Puck: fuckk im running
Finn: same dude
Mike: im hiding
Rachel: You cannot hide.
Parker: ;-; sorry guys
Finn: wait what
Puck: BASTARD
Parker: i have to or quinn takes my truck keys for a week ;-;
Finn: but you can parkour to school
Parker: bUT MY TRUCK
Santana: its no use she has been corrupted
Santana: EVERY PERSON FOR THEMSELVES

Notes:

what is the timeline why did i write this help me no nononononononoooooooooooo
almost everyones here
idk what timeline this is
i know jake and marley and unique are here and sebastian is friendly and a few ocs are here
this is just purely self indulgent why did i do this to myself
triggering stuff mentioned at the start of each chappie
ALL OF THIS IS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE, IT'S NOT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER THOUGH
these are just snapshots of their lives ig
TW: Transphobic slurs, homophobic slurs for one tweet and one tweet only

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: oh no theyre hot

Chapter Text

Alphabet Soup Club

Binder Dumbass 1: oh no theyre hot

Lesbehonest: oh no theyre hot

Bibibi: oh no theyre hot

Jakey D: oh no theyre hot

Gotta Gay: oh no theyre hot

Bichel: oh no theyre hot

Uniqueen: oh no theyre hot

Enby God: uh???

Marls: OH NO THEYRE HOT

Enby God: ??????????????

Gay King: naive parker

Under The Sea: so naive

Binder Dumbass 2: the only sane ones in this chat

Enby God: WHATS GOING ON?

Under The Sea: tears, literal tears of laughter and joy and second hand embarrassment

Enby God: sebastian you're NOT FUNNY

New Directions

Finn: all the gays in the chat thirsting

Parker: the fuck is gg on

Tina: oh no theyre hot

Mercedes: oh no theyre hot

Joe: oh no theyre hot

Mike: oh no theyre hot

Sugar: oh no theyre hot

Lauren: oh no theyre hot

Puck: i aint saying that

Finn: except puck because puck is puck

Puck: are YOU thirsting?

Finn: no because that would be weird why would i thirst

Parker: ????????

Parker: what the fuck is everyone going on about

Parker: here and the lgbt chat

Parker: WHAT is going on

Brittany: yall didnt realize parker was hot already? i was the first? damn

Parker: wait

Parker: WHATSSODVAKAOJQOAJSJSISISJ

finnegan @quarterboy

lol watching my best friend @theparkinglot have a full on gay meltdown because everyone finds them H O T

finnegan @quarterboy

not me though cause thats my sibling

finnegan @quarterboy

and sebastian, kurt, blaine and puck but puck is just puck so

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@quarterboy dishonor. dishonor on you. dishonour on your family. dishonor on your cow

finnegan @quarterboy

@theparkinglot you throw dishonor on your own family? shame.

Queen T @tinacohenc

@theparkinglot @quarterboy i love that you mix the american and british spelling of dishonor

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@tinacohenc and you dont? weak

Alphabet Soup Club

Binder Dumbass 2: uh oh

Lesbehonest: oh no

Lesbehonest: i KNOW that uh oh

Binder Dumbass 2: I FORGOR TO TAKE OFF MY BINDER

Lesbehonest: I FUCKING KNEW IT

Satana: petition to have blaine and sam have alarm clock reminders to take off their binders daily say aye

Marls: aye

Uniqueen: aye

Jakey D: aye

Gay King: aye

Under The Sea: aye

Enby God: the fuck is my phone ringing I AM ON A STAKEOUT YOU BITCHES

Gay King: SWITCH THIS CHAT OFF

Enby God: I DONT BECAUSE I THRIVE OFF OF DRAMA

Binder Dumbass 2: IM HURT?

Under The Sea: lol jeff says you fell out of a tree

Under The Sea: LOLLLLL

Enby God: you shut your face sebastian you asked me to stake out this warbler bitch ok

Enby God: im sad now this has been a total disaster

Under The Sea: you’re literally dancing while fighting and texting

Gay King: wtf send

Under The Sea: [parkerdancefighttexting.vid]

Satana: tag urself im the flying crocs

Jakey D: im the dude falling flat on his face after parker trips him

Binder Dumbass 2: im jeff who’s cheering in the background with pom poms

Gay King: im the dude who dropped their coffee on the ground

Uniqueen: im the security guard with the surprised pikachu face

Under The Sea: im the phone parker keeps dropping as she reads these messages

Marls: PARKER BE CAREFUL

Enby God: yes i am careful

Lesbehonest: im the tree parker faceplanted out of

Enby God: i have horrible friends

Marls: :(

Enby God: not you though

New Directions

Tina: parker show me how to fight

Parker: ?????????

Parker: why do you want to know

Tina: i want to punch transphobes in the face

Parker: but why would you do that when i can do it for your

Tina: its more satisfying if i do it myself

Parker: ok i can teach you a few self defense tricks

Kurt @falsettoking

There is nothing more satisfying than watching @tinacohenc punch Azimio Adams in the face

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@tinacohenc @falsettoking *wipes tear from eyes* my babies… they grow up so fast…

Queencedes @misscedesjones

@tinacohenc @falsettoking @theparkinglot another one is corrupted and you encouraged it

Queen T @tinacohenc

@misscedesjones @theparkinglot @falsettoking bold of you to assume i was never corrupted in the first place

BADASS @azzyadams

@misscedesjones @theparkinglot @falsettoking @tinacohenc bunch of pussies defending fags and trannies

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@tinacohenc @azzyadams you might wanna leave this one to me this time. I’ll handle it.

New Directions

Tina: LOL

Artie: LOL

Mercedes: LOL

Finn: whats going on

Mercedes: tina got detention for punching azimio

Mercedes: he called blaine something transphobic

Mercedes: but he continued saying slurs so parker

Parker: I broke his right hand. :)

Parker: and got a weeks suspension but totally worth it

Artie: yea you could have gotten more if you didnt blackmail azimio lmfao

Parker: :)

Quinn: good job, had to comfort sam because he was also being an asshole to him earlier

Parker: does this mean i can break his other hand?

Quinn: no

Parker: AW.

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

For the most part, we do not actually condone violence.

hockey puck @puckypuck

@rachelberryofficial what you actually mean to say is that you pretend you dont know all this shit is happening

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

@puckypuck I said for the most part.

Queencedes @misscedesjones

@rachelberryofficial @puckypuck she doesnt deny it

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

@misscedesjones @puckypuck I have plausible deniability. I plead the fifth.

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@rachelberryofficial @puckypuck @misscedesjones SHE CANT DO THAT ONLY MARLEY CAN PLEAD THE FIFTH

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@rachelberryofficial @puckypuck @misscedesjones @thebetterdevil no thats just a testament of how many people thirst over parker lol

hockey puck @puckypuck

@smythedbyagod @rachelberryofficial @thebetterdevil @misscedesjones ew i dont

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@smythedbyagod @rachelberryofficial @misscedesjones @puckypuck pucks jealous parker hauls in twice as many girls as he does lmfao

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

STOP THIRSTING OVER ME YOU THIRSTY HOES

Blainers @nightbird

thirst doesnt look like a word anymore

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@thebetterdevil @rachelberryofficial @smythedbyagod [Image of their conversation about pleading the fifth earlier] explain????

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@thewallflower gotta gay-go, gotta go!

Chapter 2: bad days :(

Summary:

more randomness
TW: mentions of suicide

Notes:

I feel like I should explain.
Binder Dumbass 1: Sam
Binder Dumbass 2: Blaine
also Finn's nickname in the mentally ill kids chat is exactly what it says. we'll get into that. maybe. idk there's no real plot here
a lot of this were inspired by real conversations/experiences i have had.
(especially the toothpaste one.)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

living the high life boys

finnegan @quarterboy

@theparkinglot Mom said to get off the roof

Kurt @falsettoking

@theparkinglot @quarterboy GET HER DOWN NOW

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@quarterboy @falsettoking SEE THEY CARE ABOUT ME

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@theparkinglot @quarterboy @falsettoking why is she on the roof????

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

Dying is perfectly aok at this point

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

Want a hug?

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@smythedbyagod mood

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@smythedbyagod mood

finnegan @quarterboy

@smythedbyagod mood

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@theparkinglot @smythedbyagod @quarterboy @thebetterdevil IM GIVING YOU ALL HUGS WHEN I SEE YOU NEXT

Kurt @falsettoking

@thewallflower you are too good for this world

New Directions

Puck: im bored

Santana: do something

Puck: no

Santana: then stay bored

Sam: if you die in heaven does that mean you go to hell

Kurt: SAM NO

Parker: dont you just respawn

Blaine: AHAHAHA HEAVEN IS LIKE MINECRAFT

Quinn: I’m so confused rn

Puck: like i dont like where i spawned and proceeds to fucking reset

Finn: ewwww this isnt roblox

Sam: yuh miss me with that bullshit

Parker: roblox isnt that bad

Mike: GASP

Mike: BETRAYAL

Mercedes: but the whole respawning thing is on the assumption that you can die in heaven

Parker: well if you can die you can just poof back into heaven

Mike: maybe they go to mega heaven

Parker: isnt hell like supposed to kill you over and over again

Parker: technically youre respawning

Parker: that same logic should also apply to heaven

Parker: like when youre tortured you die

Parker: then you respawn for another round

Parker: same principle

Parker: you enjoy yourself a bit too much you die

Kurt: jehdidjdie

Parker: you respawn and enjoy more things again

Quinn: what is wrong with your brain????

Parker: about 16 different things why

Santana: you make being fucked to death sound horrific

Parker: ??????

Parker: where did you get fucked to death from

Tina: the whole enjoy yourself a bit too much you die

Parker: oh

Parker: get your minds out of the gutter

Parker: esp you santana

Santana: yes daddy ;)

Finn: HAHAHAISNEISKSJDH

Sam: APPEALING TO THE DADDY KINK I SEE

Rachel: What is this chat right now.

Artie: YOOO PUCK

Artie: PAY UP SOMEONE ACTUALLY HAS A DADDY KINK

Parker: WHOEVER TOLD YOU THAT IS A LIAR

Santana: we never said it was YOU

Parker: I DONT HAVE A DADDY KINK

Santana: whatever you say daddy ;)

Parker: jdskdjsimd

Parker: fine you wanna play this game

Parker: .

Finn: oh no whats she doing

Puck: idw to find out

Brittany: lol

Tina: britt laughing in the background

Santana: ?

Parker: good girl santana, you figured it out :)

Santana: i

Finn: AHAHSBSHSHSHSHHAHAHAHAH

Sam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Puck: LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO

Mike: HA

Mercedes: this is so priceless

Tina: screenshotted and saved

Santana: WHO TOLD YOU

Santana: WHO

Brittany: lol

Santana: BRITT BRITT

Santana: HOW COULD YOU

Parker: no she didnt tell me

Parker: i just knew

Santana: DAFUQ

Puck: woah woah parker got some kink sense

Parker: puck i will mute you

Finn: this is gross but funny

Rachel: This is just gross. Finn!

Mike: cant blame him, parktana fights are always the best to witness

Santana: hol on wdym you just knew

Parker: i just knew cuz we always crave affection and love

Parker: so most of us are in the same boat

Parker: but i always saw that it turns you back into a weakass bottom :]

Santana: I DO NOT BOTTOM

Brittany: she does

Tina: tea

Artie: ITS OKAY TO BE THE BOTTOM

Sam: THERE WILL BE NO BOTTOM SHAMING IN THIS HOUSE

Parker: I AM NOT BOTTOM SHAMING

Parker: i am shaming santana for being a simp bottom

Santana: die

Parker: tried too much effort

Sugar: bro…… you ok?

Parker: i am everything except ok and dead rn

Santana: mood

Finn: mood

Blaine: mood

Rachel: Stop saying that. It’s not healthy!

Quinn: pot meet kettle

Mentally ill kids Chat

Gallows Humor: yall ever just wanna kerplowey yourselves

Fashionista: i hate how that actually sounded out in my mind

Fashionista: blaine where are you honey

Hypocrite101: blaine are you ok? Are you safe?

PTSD Devil: blaine’s safe he’s with me and finn

PTSD Devil: no were not doing dumb stuff because i know youll ask

SirHIGHness: were just playing monopoly

Fashionista: im coming over

PTSD Devil: were not introducing blaine to drugs kurt!!!

PTSD Devil: HONEST

Fashionista: you better

Hypocrite101: is puck doing the depression sleep again @daddy issues #2

daddy issues #2: yeah

daddy issues #2: i just woke up too

Hypocrite101: o you actually missed school

Hypocrite101: i wasnt in school

PTSD Devil: why werent you in school

Hypocrite101: doctors appointment

PTSD Devil: sucks. what for?

Hypocrite101: theyre getting worried about my weight again and the bruises

PTSD Devil: marley you can just say the word and we’ll beat up the bullies yaknow

SirHIGHness: ye thats what friends are for

Hypocrite101: no thanks it’s fine i can handle it

PTSD Devil: if youre sure

Satan: yall have any of you seen britt

Lucy Caboosey: no

Satan: shit she ran off during phys ed and half of us ditched school today

Fashionista: i just ended early

Still Standing: i saw her running to the football field i tried going after her but stupid ramps slowed me down and a teacher scolded me for speeding in the hallways

Satan: shit

Samual: I SEE HER SHE RAN WWAY FROM UNDER BENCHES

Satan: thank u

PTSD Devil: what happened to britt

Satan: unclear

daddy issues #2: im adding to the calendar board

[daddy issues #2 added Britt runaway to the calendar]

[Satan added timing to Britt runaway]

[Samual added detail to Britt runaway]

[Still Standing added detail to Britt runaway]

Hypocrite101: worried

Hypocrite101: this is the third time britt ran away from people

PTSD Devil: mayb its sensory overload

Samual: dont think so

Satan: no its not she was fine before she suddenly ran out

PTSD Devil: shit man

Alphabet Soup Club

Lesbehonest: SAMUEL EVANS.

Binder Dumbass 1: oh shit

Binder Dumbass 2: haha it’s you you’re in trouble

Lesbehonest: explain why i have been told you have been in binder all day??

Binder Dumbass 1: i deny everything

Gay King: carole told me and i told quinn

Binder Dumbass 1: SNITCH

Binder Dumbass 2: hEY dont call my boyfriend a snitch

Gay King: AHEM

Enby God: funny

Uniqueen: youre one to talk

Enby God: ok first off i managed to get top surgery so those days are farrrrr behind me

Bibibi: still dont understand how you were able to get top surgery

Enby God: burt and carole signed me off on it the instant they gained legal guardianship on me

Enby God: cuz i get into fights and shit so much and they know they cant stop me, so theyre finding ways to keep me safe while i do which includes not fighting in a binder

Bibibi: dont you need like doctors permission

Enby God: i got a letter from my regular doc and my therapist

Enby God: apparently my issues also stemmed from ‘lack of self identity which results in unnatural aggression towards others’ and ‘feelings of dysphoria that leads to self destructive behaviours’

Enby God: i mean, not the only reason why we’re here but go off i guess

Binder Dumbass 2: basically they thought if you had top surgery you would fight people less

Enby God: pretty much

Enby God: i mean it kinda did work lol

Lesbehonest: parker stop talking about your therapy as if it’s dumb and stupid i know for a fact that you talk about nerdy shit with your therapist and describe your problems with much bigger words than that

Lesbehonest: and sam if you dont take off your binder now i will hunt you down myself

Binder Dumbass 1: fineeeee

Bibibi: this is why youre a binder dumbass sam

Bibibi: and blaine youre suspect number 2

Binder Dumbass 2: HEY

Binder Dumbass 2: way to call us out artie

Enby God: no longer suffering that shit lol peace out motherfuckersss

Binder Dumbass 2: guys

Lesbehonest: blaine whats wrong

Binder Dumbass 2: i think i had my period

Enby God: oh no

Kurt was waiting outside the bathroom while Blaine was inside. Quinn, Sam and Parker had arrived with period supplies.

“It’s bad,” Kurt admitted. “Blaine bled into his pants. He kicked me out. It’s terrifying.”

Parker, who hadn’t had her period in a few years, frowned. She still took low dosage testosterone shots to keep her period at bay. She kept it to herself that even if she stopped the T, she would barely have periods because of the car accident that took her parents years ago. She didn’t need their pity.

She couldn’t quite relate, but Sam could.

“I got an emergency kit just in case people have periods,” Parker said, holding up a pouch. “Not just for the other girls but for you guys as well.”

“Thanks,” Sam mumbled, sighing. “I hate this.”

Quinn glanced at Kurt who huffed in frustration as Sam pushed his way into the bathroom.

“Sorry man,” Parker shrugged. “I can’t help beyond this.”

“Can’t you just give them T or something?” Kurt asked, pleading. Parker sighed.

She knew she had been lucky enough to have a full ride to transition into the person she was, with the top surgery and testosterone she started shortly before she joined Glee. She was also lucky enough to have foster parents who didn’t give two shits of what she did to sign off on the T before she was moved to a homophobic household who couldn’t stop it because the T was already taking effect and her doc had recommended she continue.

“If Cooper allows Blaine to, I’ll give him the name of the doc who gives me my T,” Parker shrugged. “I don’t know about Sam, because I know his parents are a bit iffy with the T.”

“That would be great.”

Quinn sighed. “I’m just glad Blaine is wearing a sports bra and not a binder today.”

“I think it’s because he has phys ed,” Kurt explained.

“Sam did phys ed in a binder,” Parker scowled, folding her arms. “I remember his schedule.”

“Of course he did,” Quinn sighed. “He’s a dumbass.”

“Okay that’s better than the duct taping incident,” Kurt added. “Finn and I caught Sam binding with duct tape. DUCT TAPE.”

“And I caught him with ace bandages,” Parker said gloomily. “But the bandages were better than the duct tape incident. Carole completely chewed him out for that one.”

“Anyways, we need to form a plan to get Blaine out of the bathroom because I don’t think he’ll be leaving. We could try to call the others and have them form a perimeter…”

“New Directions: Secret Service,” Parker joked. “I’ll give Mr. Schue a heads up to have the choir room a safe space today. Blaine should chill in there.”

New Directions

Quinn: we require help of the utmost priority

Finn: what is it

Quinn: we must protect blaine he has gotten his period

Mercedes: oh no

Tina: we’re coming

Comic Book Squad

Music Meister: sorry guys not coming to the thing today i had my period :/

Supergirl: oh its ok blaine

Flash: ye totally chill

Arrow: yeah were just hiding him in the choir room before taking him back to caroles

Flash: can we come over

Music Meister: mayb not today guys sorry

Spiderman: its ok we’ll have the meeting some other time

Music Meister: thanks sam

New Directions

Rachel: All of you have remembered the assignment, right?

Finn: … what assignment

Sam: OH SHIT WE HAD HW

Quinn: we have a quiz also

Santana: wait we have to study

Mike: ughhhhh idw to study

Puck: ok am skipping

Quinn: no puck

Quinn: you said you were going to make an effort and you WILL make an effort so help me god

Artie: are we gonna go and study together

Quinn: yes because clearly you all are incapable of studying by yourselves

Rachel: And it is mandatory for everyone to come.

Parker: what??!?? noooo rachel nooo i can pass that in my sleep pls dont make me come

Quinn: great so you can help tutor them

Parker: NOOOOOOOOO

Puck: fuckk im running

Finn: same dude

Mike: im hiding

Rachel: You cannot hide.

Parker: ;-; sorry guys

Finn: wait what

Puck: BASTARD

Parker: i have to or quinn takes my truck keys for a week ;-;

Finn: but you can parkour to school

Parker: bUT MY TRUCK

Santana: its no use she has been corrupted

Santana: EVERY PERSON FOR THEMSELVES

Rachel: It’s on.

Tina: why is everybody running

Artie: because they hate studying

hockey puck @puckypuck

nobody ever told me this but @theparkinglot is highkey terrifying when shes serious and hunting you down

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@puckypuck i wasnt being serious but ok

finnegan @quarterboy

@puckypuck @theparkinglot THAT WASNT YOU BEING SERIOUS???

Queencedes @misscedesjones

@puckypuck @quarterboy @theparkinglot if she were serious yall would be seriously maimed by now

finnegan @quarterboy

@theparkinglot @misscedesjones @puckypuck i hope i never face the full extent of your skills

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@misscedesjones @puckypuck @quarterboy :)

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

@puckypuck @quarterboy There is a reason why whenever we play any sporty game, we exclude her or make her the referee.

New Directions

Puck: terrifying

Parker: yall didnt know?? you cant hide from me im the devil for a reason

Santana: we KNOW and thats not comforting

Finn: we dont need to see you come out of the shadows like some ghost

Parker: but you would run if i came at you

Sam: like you wouldnt catch us if you ran at us???

Parker: wheres the fun in that

Parker: thank you for the little game though it was fun

Quinn: we meant for you to BRING THEM BACK not terrify them

Parker: you never said anything of the sort :)

Parker: and i DID bring them back see

Finn: i would like to have a restraining order thank you

Parker: AWWWW.

Kurt: are they being babies again

Quinn: yes

Rachel: Yes.

Kurt: and you used parker who is the holy mother of god terrifying when she wants to be to get them in line

Quinn: yes

Rachel: Yes.

Kurt: understandable have a great day

Finn: LITTLE BRO

Puck: SAVE US

Kurt: get better grades and maybe I’ll open one eye

Parker: >:)

Rachel: You have to come though, it is mandatory.

Kurt: sure i think blaine’ll be happy to see you guys

Kurt: hes calmer from earlier

Parker: alrighty

Parker: tell him if anyone bothers him ill clothesline them :]

Puck: terrifying

Finn: shes been learning a bunch of wrestling takedowns and im scared

Parker: hes scared since i did a perfect 619 after seeing it once

Finn: yEAH

Santana: out of curiosity how many fighting styles do you know

Parker: umm

Parker: wrestling, kung fu, karate, judo, capoeira, taekwondo, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, wing chun, krav maga, silat, muay thai, akido, boxing, Filipino martial arts, Chinese martial arts, normal ju-jitsu, mixed martial arts

Parker: theres also the unique fighting style bruce lee fights in and yeah those are the main ones

Parker: they kinda blur together because i use them interchangeably but im just really good at memorizing movement

Parker: anything you can do i can do provided i can physically do it

Parker: and sometimes i can do it better

Mike: holy shit

Mike: those are the ones you can name off the top of your head??

Parker: i mean it took me a bit of thinking but im not honestly gonna go into all the styles i know because they overlap anyways

Tina: holy cow

Tina: how do you train and still ace exams

Parker: my brain works super differently from everyone it works, processes information incredibly quickly

Parker: what i see in a glance i retain and i use that information

Parker: basically if i learn something that has to do with movement i will immediately be able to do it no problem

Parker: if it’s concepts my brain basically speedruns and understands that information faster than yall

Santana: so basically youre a visual learner

Parker: more or less

Parker: im very observant

Parker: because my brain is really fast im able to read, analyze and examine every detail that i see in a second

Parker: and i dont forget

Quinn: double edged sword huh

Parker: trauma’s a bitch

Parker: i have a really good gut instinct and im very hyper aware and very sensitive

Artie: so the spidey sense

Parker: is true yes

Quinn: this is why you cant hide from her

Joe: how does your body keep up with your mind

Parker: idk??? It just can?? i know for a fact that the only thing i was blessed with is my mind and my spidey sense, everything else like my physical stuff was trained into me

Mercedes: hun i dont think you can train extra speedy metabolism into your body

Parker: oh that? i was given that when i was born LMAO it is not a blessing. but because of that i heal naturally faster and i dont get sick as easily. also i can eat all the junk i want without getting fat.

Parker: but those are the only upsides

Quinn: jesus how long have you been training youre super strong and you have crazy stamina and endurance

Parker: i figured all this out at a young age. bear in mind that i didnt have the best childhood so i didnt gradually increase my training, i started hard and it only got harder

Rachel: That’s… concerning.

Parker: yeah kind of but i healed fast anyways

Finn: but dude you told me you didnt eat much as a kid

Parker: oops

Parker: busted

Rachel: PARKER MAXWELL BOOKER.

Mike: mom friend incoming!!

Sam: eating popcorn and watching

Parker: ok to be VERY FAIR

Parker: rough childhood + abuse + not enough money

Parker: you really think i could eat enough to keep up with my enhanced metabolism

Parker: even now i do not give myself many things because of the sole reason that i do not deserve anything but thats fine because i can handle it

Parker: anyways how do you think i managed to bypass a lot of my limits

Parker: i bypassed them by sheer willpower, suicidal thoughts and a lot of pain and suffering

Tina: physical or mental

Parker: yes

Quinn: i am so concerned

Parker: im FINE

Rachel: No, you’re not.

Parker: tsk

Blaine: im telling marley

Parker: NO DONT

Rory: … what is this

Matt: i stopped talking in here a while ago dw

Mentally ill kids Chat

PTSD Devil: RACHEL YOU BITCH

Mom Friend: :)

PTSD Devil: im jumping the fence and going away from school

Hypocrite101: ????????

Satan: being made to see a therapist sucks doesnt it

PTSD Devil: [begonethot.jpg]

SirHIGHness: you BITCH YOU LEFT ME ALONE FOR SUPPORT GROUP

PTSD Devil: sorrynot sorry

Hudmel Kids

binderman: who put water inside the toothpaste

Idiot Genius: ????

the braincell: oh my god

Genius Idiot: i deny everything

Idiot Genius: finnegan i swear to god

the braincell: OH MY GOD.

binderman: FINN WHY

Genius Idiot: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

binderman: THE TOOTHPASTE TUBE WAS CLOSED?

Genius Idiot: I THOUGHT IT WOULD EVAPORATE OR SMTH

Idiot Genius: i thought i was the weirdo in this house

binderman: THERES A REASON WHY YOURE BOTH NICKNAMED IDIOTS IDIOTS

Idiot Genius: IM AN IDIOTIC GENIUS BECAUSE IM SMART I JUST DO STUPID THINGS ALL THE TIME

Idiot Genius: FINN IS AN IDIOT WHO CAN PASS OFF AS A GENIUS ALL THE TIME

binderman: no

the braincell: parker are you coming home

the braincell: marley is here shes asking for you

Idiot Genius: no i just

Idiot Genius: i just need some time to think

Genius Idiot: are u ok

binderman: youre not coming home for the night?

Idiot Genius: im safe dw i just

Idiot Genius: not for tonight ok

Genius Idiot: want me to add to the calendar?

Idiot Genius: im fine, but if it makes you feel better, ok

Mentally ill kids Chat

[SirHIGHness added Parker runaway to the calendar]

daddy issues #1: shit man

[Fashionista added detail to Parker runaway]

Satan: @PTSD Devil you ok

Mom Friend: Oh no. Was this my fault?

Fashionista: i think it was bound to happen

SirHIGHness: i hope she didnt relapse

Samual: im just more worried where she will stay for the night

Satan: knowing her she prolly has a hideout or two

Hypocrite101: she does

Hypocrite101: i just dont think she wants to be found rn

Still Standing: i think she just wants to hide away

Still Standing: shes still not used to letting herself have people to lean on

Lucy Caboosey: i take it shes skipping the study session

Mom Friend: I’ll allow it provided she contacts us tomorrow morning.

Hypocrite101: can i sleep over finn, sam and kurt

SirHIGHness: yea youre welcome to

Fashionista: ill go get the spare mattress

Fashionista: do you want to sleep in my room marley

Hypocrite101: can i sleep in her room

Fashionista: sure but wake us up if she comes home ok

Hypocrite101: ok

Satan: i hope shes ok

Marley-Parker

Marley: its storming

Marley: you should come home

Marley: please

Parker: no

Marley: please we’re really worried

Marley: im really worried

Parker: im fine you know me im tough

Marley: you can take all the rough things i know, but that doesnt mean you should

Marley: come home, carole and burt and finn and sam and kurt are worried about you

Marley: im worried about you

Marley: i love you ok (unsent)

Parker: ok

Parker: im coming home

New Directions

Tina: you’re my dad!

Mike: BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

Finn: i am NOT ANYONES DAD

Artie: he is dad friend

Quinn: i hate what this implies

Puck: i hate it more

Mercedes: because rachel is the mom friend

Mercedes: and we are all the children

Artie: tbf finn is dad shaped

Finn: no

Finn: stop this thinking

Puck: he commands us

Puck: as if he is our

Puck: daddy

Finn: PUCK ISTG

Sam: he do got a point

Blaine: dad friend!!!

Finn: sTOP

Rachel: What’s going on?

Tina: MOM

Artie: MOM

Sam: MOM

Blaine: MOM

Mike: MOM

Finn: oh my god

Rachel: Children. Any of you care to explain?

Quinn: she calls them children

Quinn: it has been decided

Finn: i hate everything right now

Rachel: Care to explain why you all are on your phones instead of studying?

Rachel: Would you like me to send Parker to shatter your phones?

Rachel: I thought so.

Parker: whuz going on i jusy woke up

Rachel: Go back to sleep dear, you’re fine. <3

Parker: mkay

Hudmel Kids

Genius Idiot: kurt kurt kurt sam sam sam

the braincell: ?

binderman: wjat

Genius Idiot: i feel bad for blaine and parker today can we pick up mac n cheese ingredients and have a sleepover

the braincell: ok let me ask carole and dad first

Genius Idiot: k cool

the braincell: ok carole said yes she also said she’ll make alphabet soup for everyone

Genius Idiot: YES!!!

the braincell: burt says use protection

binderman: sigh

Genius Idiot: can we be quiet abt this, i know marley and parker are still at home and i think parker is still sleeping off the cold

binderman: mhm i’ll text cedes

the braincell: actually sam go home and check on them

binderman: … this is still abt the binder again isnt it

the braincell: yes you need a break.

binderman: fine

Genius Idiot: thanks man

Genius Idiot: you think parker would let me drive her truck

the braincell: she will murder you

Genius Idiot: fine

Idiot Genius: if you touch my truck in any shape or form finn hudson i will destroy your pillow tonight

Idiot Genius: idc how sick i am

Genius Idiot: SLEEP YOU DUMBASS

Idiot Genius: i WILL, JUST DONT TOUCH MY TRUCK YOU TROLOAHSJDBWKAJSHSJWJSBSK

binderman: i took their phone lmao

the braincell: did they immediately conk out after you took it

binderman: yes

the braincell: good job

Kurt @falsettoking

i would like to replace my siblings.

finnegan @quarterboy

@falsettoking I SAID I WAS SORRY

Kurt @falsettoking

@quarterboy SORRY DOESNT CUT IT YOU MONSTER

Hot Wheels @mobiledirector

@quarterboy @falsettoking does this include the other two siblings

Kurt @falsettoking

@mobiledirector unfortunately

SamIAm @greeneggsandham

@falsettoking @quarterboy @mobiledirector WHAT DID I DO

Kurt @falsettoking

@greeneggsandham yes

The Unholy Trinity

Third Wheel: ive been alerted to a sleepover

Britt-Britt: ooo where

Snixx: no doubt at the hudmel home cause of what happened

Third Wheel: i told rachel not to be pushy

Snixx: when does she ever listen???

marleyandyou (Marley’s Instagram Account)

Post: [Video is of Parker singing ‘Take Me to Church by Hozier. Sam is playing his guitar.]

Caption: Even sick they have a lovely voice. <3

Comments:

finntimes: theyre supposed to be resting

bigot6969: lol they the blonde on isnt singing watch your english

spamsatantana: @bigot6969 you wanna contest that sweetie?

Comic Book Squad

Spiderman: yo sebastian marley parker

Spiderman: are we still doing comic con this year

Flash: yeah

Supergirl: yup

Arrow: … yes

Spiderman: okay

Flash: what are you guys going as

Spiderman: miles morales

Flash: sam for the first and last time you cannot be miles AGAIN

Arrow: i’m going as this

Arrow: [amogusdrip.jpg]

Flash: NO

Supergirl: she and i are matching

Supergirl: theyre black i’m white

Flash: BETRAYAL

Spiderman: sus

Arrow: sus

Supergirl: sus

Flash: i hate it here

Supergirl: what are you going as seb

Flash: i am going as SUPERMAN

Arrow: BOOOOOOO

Spiderman: unoriginal

Flash: youre the one who wanted to go as miles again

Spiderman: yeah because its a different spiderman??

Arrow: you could have gone for something cooler like spider-noir or like 2099 spiderman or scarlet spider or smth like that

Spiderman: MILES IS COOL SHUTUP

Arrow: MILES IS COOL BUT YOU DID IT LAST YEAR CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE

Arrow: CHOOSE ANOTHER CHARACTER

Arrow: SEB YOU KNOW SUPERMAN IS BANNED

Flash: fINE i’ll be reverse flash

Arrow: see it wasnt that hard

Arrow: and you picked a villain this year good job

Flash: i’ll be reverse flash if you and marley don’t go as among us this year

Arrow: UGH

Arrow: FINE

Supergirl: LOL SEB

Supergirl: you really hate among us

Flash: I AM SICK OF THE MEMES

Spiderman: i sent a picture of our conversation to cedes and she keeps asking me why superman is banned

Arrow: tell her superman is banned for sebastian and only sebastian

Arrow: actually sam

Arrow: tell her in the sleepover later so we can embarrass sebastian >:)

Flash: NOOOOO

Notes:

also yes sebastian's nickname in the alphabet soup club is a reference to under the sea
and jake's nickname is a reference to be more chill lmfaoooooo

Chapter 3: valentine's day shenanigans pt. 1

Summary:

Something in the wake of The Incident.
TW: Suicide mentions, slurs, mentions of EDs

Notes:

nyehehehe

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

it is wednesday my dudes

Quinntessential @queenfabray

@theparkinglot it is currently 4am on a saturday what the FUCK are you doing quoting vines so early

finnegan @quarterboy

@queenfabray @theparkinglot WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@quarterboy @queenfabray THOSE ARE MY CROCKS

Kurt @falsettoking

@quarterboy @theparkinglot @queenfabray currently getting applications to replace my current siblings

Quinntessential @queenfabray

@falsettoking how do you deal with them

Kurt @falsettoking

@queenfabray i don’t

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

Update: I am no longer allowed to go around the house wearing my PS4 Spiderman suit and repeating the it is wednesday my dudes vine.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

i am being oppressed

Kurt @falsettoking

@theparkinglot this is because i keep hearing that god forsaken scream in the house

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@falsettoking oppression

Burt-Carole

Carole: are you worried

Burt: obviously

Carole: finn’s therapy is going along fine i guess, but i’m worried, the kids don’t talk to us

Burt: i can’t really reach out to kurt either

Carole: what are we going to do with these kids

In the Hudson-Hummel house, everyone was in a frenzy. Everyone was moving around fast, Burt and Carole preparing to go to work, the kids preparing to go to school.

Kurt was seated at the dining table, eating cereal and reading the back of the cereal box. Finn was sitting next to him, scarfing down his breakfast at rapid speed much to Kurt’s disgust. Sam was bounding down the hallway, having gone out on a run earlier.

Parker was seated on the other end of the table eating an apple and going through some differential equations at the same time, leaving their numbers in a messy scrawl on the paper as Carole walked out, drying her hair.

“Coffee?” Burt asked, setting a cup for Carole.”Kurt and Finn finished Sam’s batch earlier. Today’s a bad morning.”

“Yes, please.” Coffee was such a lifesaver for Carole and Burt knew it pretty well. They were still worried about the kids who were acting a little off.

In response to being (reluctant ‘adoptive’) parents to a bunch of traumatized kids, they had to up their observation game. It was harder for Burt to adjust, but Carole was a nurse. It was easier.

Kurt’s blank gaze didn’t go unnoticed, and Burt quizzed Sam on whether he ate breakfast (he did, thank goodness) while Carole approached Finn.

“Slow down, honey. You’re going to choke,” she admonished lightly. He grinned at her sheepishly, wiping at his face for stray milk droplets. It was smaller than usual and Carole could feel concern pulling at her own brows to make a frown.

Burt glanced at Kurt, and reading his closed off body language, instead goes for the other person at the dining table, allowing Sam to be the one to pull Kurt from his blank state to somewhat functioning, albeit obviously on autopilot.

“Late homework?” Burt asked, putting a hand on Parker’s shoulder. They jumped abruptly at the contact, looking between Burt and his hand as if it was a foreign object in their opinion. Their brow furrowed in sort of confusion.

“... no, sir.” The haze cleared from their eyes, pulling them back to the present and away from the paper. “It was yesterday’s homework.”

“Aren’t you supposed to revise the last chapter before doing this?” Burt asked, confused. “Sam was doing it after his run and there is a reason why there’s a long deadline.”

“No, it’s easy.” They chewed absentmindedly on the apple core. “I’m on the last page.”

“You doing okay, buddy? Spending the last couple of nights here,” Burt continued, worried. “Won’t your fosters be worried?”

“Nah.” They directed their attention back to their work, aligning their papers together. Burt noted with a small smile that they weren’t as careless with their work anymore– Marley really was a good influence for this kid. “They don’t really care.” They did pause at this though, deflating a little. “Though I should go back… maybe they’ll care.”

Burt swallowed hard, unable to respond to that, instead going back to Kurt, which was familiar territory.

“Hey, how are ya?”

“Good.” Burt was very used to one word answers from Kurt in the morning. But something about it seemed different this time. The kids were all different from The Incident, something that shook all of them to the core.

In fact, it was why Burt was grateful Sam would eat. The following days since The Incident, he wouldn’t. This was the first time that Sam had ever gone out on a run since The Incident too, which was a huge step up.

Kurt’s answer was clipped and tight and short, as he stood abruptly, bowl in hand. Finn turned away from Carole, scuttling after Kurt meekly.

The parents shared a soft sigh as Sam egged Parker on to pack their bags and get ready for school.

That reminds both of them: had they managed to get the kid with enhanced metabolism to eat something more than an apple?

“Marley!” Millie called. “Breakfast!”

No answer. She sighed, drumming her fingers on the dining table. She could hear the shower still running, which was good, she guesses. It was a bit unusual for her to take long showers though, Marley had always been conscious of the water bill or any expenses.

“Marley?” she called back.

“Yeah!” There was the hurried squeak of the shower switching off. “I’m coming down! Just coming out of the shower.”

“We’re going to be late to your new school if you keep this up when you transfer,” Millie reminded.

“I know!” Marley called back. “I’m just- I’m having my period!”

Millie sighed, shaking her head.

“You can’t hide from school forever. It will help, seeing your friends.”

A pause, then a sigh.

“I know mom, I just…” Marley seemed to think better of whatever she was going to say next. “I don’t know.”

Can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh?

Can we buck up just enough to see the world won’t fall apart?

Maybe this year we decide, we’re not giving up before we’ve tried.

This year we make a new start.

Pam Anderson was staring at Blaine.

She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to act-

It had been like that for a while since The Incident, as all his friends and everyone around them called it. His left arm was in a cast, but the way he carried it around made it seem like it was dead weight.

His father, her husband, had given no shits about Blaine being returned to them safe and sound. Rather, he bitched about how long it took the police to do it and how a retarded, rebellious little girl had to do the police’s jobs for them. Blaine had outright had a meltdown at that, screaming that they (the police AND Parker) had saved their lives, and if they weren’t there, he would be dead.

He didn’t respond to that either. And continued bitching much later when it was common knowledge that Parker had to—

Well. She couldn’t blame the child for doing that. Her husband demanded that they be punished for their crimes despite the lack of evidence instead of trying to push the blame onto the people who started it in the first place. While it was common knowledge that Parker did — there was nothing to place them at the scene of the crime. No witnesses. Nothing.

Pam had to thank them one day. If they didn’t do what they did… she wouldn’t have Blaine back. She would have lost her son for good and she could not handle that. They pulled what only heroes in comic books can do and despite their age and impossibility of it all, she was grateful. She had learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Plus, deep down, Pam knew if Parker didn’t do what they did, she doubted Blaine or the others wouldn’t be able to sleep well that night.

But knowing the terror was well and truly over, Blaine had allowed himself to relax a bit.

Okay. A bit is an overstatement.

“Blaine you okay honey?” Pam asked, but when Blaine doesn’t respond, she swallowed hard. “Okay. You don’t have to answer that. Are you ready for school?”

At this he nods his head stiffly, getting up from his seat at the dining table, food untouched and going to his room to change, leaving Pam to bury her face in her hands.

Another stellar conversation for the scrapbook.

Another stumble as I’m searching for the right thing to say

I’m kinda coming up empty

Can’t find my way to you

Tired Parents Club

Burt: no luck?

Pam: no

Judy: should i try quinn

Millie: probably

Nancy: artie wants to skip school

Carole: that’s unlike him

Mary: oh no

Dwight: poor kids

Will: I’ll try talking to them when they get here.

Emma: They have gone through a rather traumatic experience.

Judy: but not all of them went through it

Emma: Trauma, by its very definition, means that this was a deeply distressing and disturbing experience. Even if they hadn’t been through it, they all feared for their lives. That sort of event will leave an impact on them, regardless of where they were during The Incident.

Will: Meaning that they’re ALL scared.

Carole: even if they’re trying to hide it with memes?

Judy: what are ‘memes’?

“Quinnie?” Judy asked softly. Quinn stirred, jerking upright at the figure at the door, relaxing only when she realized it was just her mom.

“Mom… what time is it?”

“It’s almost time for school.” Judy padded over to Quinn. “You need to get up.”

The girl didn’t respond, instead rolling out of bed and reaching for her phone. “It’s okay mom. I got it.”

“Are you sure you don’t need me to take you to school?”

“Positive. I’ll just ask Parker or Finn for a ride. I know the four of them are going to be late.” Quinn doesn’t bother to look at her mother, instead weaving around her in a wide berth and heading out of the room, leaving Judy to sigh.

Quinn hadn’t even bothered making herself look neater or better than rolling out of bed.

“You need to clean yourself up better, Quinnie.”

“I’m tired mom.”

Judy sighed, reaching for her phone again.

Tired Parents Club

Judy: @Will your turn

Will: ?

Judy: you’ll have a bunch of students coming in late including my quinn

Will: I see. Any reason?

Judy: i couldn’t pull quinn out of bed until i came into her room

Emma: This is worse than I thought.

Does anybody have a map?

Anybody happen to know how the hell to do this?

I don’t know if you can tell but this is me just pretending to know

Maribel Lopez sighed as she opened her daughter’s bedroom door and saw that Santana was wide awake on her laptop doing something.

“Santana,” she called, careful not to startle Santana too much. “Breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry, ma.”

“You need to eat before going to school.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Will you eat when you get to school?”

Santana glanced at her for a moment, biting her lip.

“Probably. Brittany might make me eat.”

“Ay, Santana, you need food to function. I don’t want another call saying you passed out in the middle of Cheerio practice.”

Santana shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Santana, you are my baby. I don’t like seeing my baby sad. Please, I-“

“I’m not a baby, ma.” With that, Santana shut her laptop with a snap, gently moving past Maribel and out of the room. “I’ll walk to school. I’ll hitch a ride with Robin Hood later.”

“Of course.” Maribel watched Santana go. “Be careful.”

Pam smiled at Blaine as he buckled himself in to the passenger seat of their car. His gaze was faraway, and she wanted so desperately to wipe it off of his face.

“Maybe you could ask your friends to sign your cast,” she suggested. “That will cheer you up!”

“I guess,” Blaine said distantly, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

Pam continued talking, eager to fill the silence. “I know Ryan says that you’re too old to have your cast signed and decorated, but I think it looks too plain. Huh? What do you think?”

At the mention of his dad, Blaine stiffens and Pam worries that she might have gone a bit too far.

“Perfect,” he finally says after a long period of silence.

She smiles at him, albeit a bit strained.

“I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah…” At that, Blaine shrinks in on himself and he doesn’t say anything else, no matter how much Pam prompts him to.

Dammit.

So where’s the map?

I need a clue, cause the scary truth is

I’m flying blind

And I’m making this up as I go

“Marley!” Millie called. “You need to leave now or else you’ll be late!”

“Coming!”

Millie frowned, watching her daughter come down the stairs. It was like watching a robot come to life and go through the motions as humanlike as it possibly could.

“Marley…”

“I’m going,” she responded, voice blank. Reaching for the door, Millie stops her for a moment by wrapping her up in a hug.

For a long time, Marley loved her mother’s hugs. She loved being safe and warm and cuddled. Millie hadn’t had a chance to hug her daughter ever since The Incident because Marley had been too injured and fragile to hug.

But now, Marley reacted as if she had been crushed and burned, screaming as soon as Millie hugged her.

“LET ME GO!”

In shock, Millie had let go of her daughter, who dropped to the floor wheezing for air. She was shaking and trembling badly, and when Millie bent down to comfort Marley-

“No! Don’t touch me!” Marley yelled, slapping her mother’s hand away from her and launching herself backwards.

That felt like a jolt to the heart. What happened to her child? Her daughter?

“Marley?” Millie whispered, crouching down to Marley’s level. “It’s me. Your mom.”

The girl turned her face away, taking one shuddering breath in, before standing. “I have to go, mom. I have to go.”

And she ran.

Millie let her go.

“Kid, you have got to eat. You have an enhanced metabolism,” Burt coaxed as Parker expertly dodged and weaved around him grabbing their things.

“Not hungry.”

“Kid, you’re always hungry.”

“Fasting.” Parker ducked under his hand offering a granola bar.

“Not necessary for you and you’re a free-thinker.”

Carole was having an easier/harder time with Sam. Sam was staring into space. She noted that the scar on the side of his face was forever going to be there. She put a hand to his back and he jolted at the contact, flinching away from Carole.

“Don’t wear your binder too long, okay?” she reminded gently, rubbing his back. His shirt was thin enough that she could feel the raised skin of scars on his back. “Remember to text your mom.”

“I… I will,” he promised softly. “I think we’re picking up Quinn today though, so we best get a move on.”

At hearing this, Parker perked up. “Oh we’re picking up Quinn today? No problemo.”

“Drive safe,” Carole warned, but the enby simply laughed as Kurt and Finn came down the stairs, Finn tossing Sam’s bag at him.

“Dude we’re gonna be late,” Finn muttered.

“We’re picking up Quinn, she doesn’t have a ride,” Parker said, checking their phone and dodging Burt’s insistence on eating again. “We won’t be late by like 2 minutes, it’s chill.”

“Children,” Carole said sharply. “Be punctual.”

“Yes, Carole,” Kurt, Parker and Sam echoed.

“Yes mom.” This from Finn.

“Aren’t you going to ea-“ Burt tried one last time, but Parker simply thrust a coffee thermos at Kurt and smiled a charming grin at Burt.

“No but thank you. As in, thank you for letting me crash here and trying to get me to eat. Seriously, I can’t thank you guys enough, but I have to go.” With that, Parker gave Burt a two fingered salute and followed the three out the door.

“Dammit,” Burt said softly. “Well. We got to two days without getting them to thank us.”

Carole nodded. “It takes a lot of time to get to that point.”

“I know.” Burt gestured to the living room. “Let’s finish that paperwork. At least that’s something we know that would be a step in the right direction.”

Another masterful attempt ends with disaster

Pour another cup of coffee and watch it all crash and burn

It’s a puzzle, it’s a maze

I tried to steer through it a million ways

But each day’s another wrong turn

This was not how Maribel wanted her morning to go.

“I’ll walk you to school.”

“For the last time, ma, I am not a baby!”

“I know but…” You could disappear like your friends had.

Santana froze at the implication, the unsaid words. The Incident was a sore topic, as it should be. Santana had an active role in helping it end, which she was both grateful and terrified of. Maribel didn’t want her daughter to disappear.

And even if Santana hadn’t seen the worst bits, she had seen a fair bit more action than the rest of her friends (save for the actual victims and the Informants) and she knew that it had shaken Santana to the very core.

But it had also shaken her, too.

She wasn’t there to protect her baby. But she’s here now.

“Ma,” Santana said sharply. “Don’t.”

“I just want you safe.”

“I can take care of myself,” Santana argued back, wrapping her arms around herself. Her voice was beginning to waver though, carefully constructed mask slipping off.

“Santa-“

“I’m not a baby,” Santana repeated. “And I can walk by myself to school. If Ser Detective says it’s okay and we’re safe now, it’s okay. I believe them. Okay?”

“That kid is a criminal-“

“They saved people’s lives!”

“They could have left it to the police!”

“And the police would have never found them if they hadn’t stepped in!” Santana yelled back. “It’s fine! I’m fine. We’re fine. Parker is a good guy and we’re okay. I’m okay.”

No, Santana was clearly not okay, and no, Maribel didn’t trust Parker as far as she could throw them. But Santana does, and for the sake of Santana, she would try to trust her friends too.

She just hopes she made the right decision.

“Fine,” Maribel sighed. “But call me when you get to school, okay?”

Santana blinked, clearly not expecting her mother to back down so easily. In reality, Maribel didn’t want to fight with Santana. But she had learned that once Santana had her mind set on believing something, it was nigh-impossible to change her mind. And this was one of those things.

She loves Santana and Santana is a good judge of character. Maribel has never really trusted the company Santana keeps ever since she was caught smoking in the school bathrooms. When the New Directions came about and made a change to Santana for the better… Maribel had her doubts. She knows Santana actively seeks out people who are bad for her to cope with being a teenager and the New Directions seemed to be the next in line of those decisions.

Maribel doesn’t like the New Directions, but her dislike of them has to stop somewhere. This wasn’t her first argument with Santana about them.

She struggles with the fact that Santana trusts her friends more than her and she wonders, more than ever, if she had failed as a parent.

Judy glanced out the window to see the pickup truck loitering in front of the house. Parker beeped the horn a few times, lowering their window and waving to Judy.

She waved back as Finn lowered his window in the backseat (she vaguely thinks she sees Kurt in the passenger seat) and threw Judy a questioning expression.

“Quinn!” Judy called. “Your friends are here!”

Out comes Quinn, hair still looking like she rolled out of bed but dressed in nicer clothes that Judy had just about managed to dress her in.

Before she goes outside though, Judy catches her in a short hug, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I love you always, Quinnie,” Judy breathed, and for a moment, Quinn squeezed back, before abruptly letting go.

“They’re waiting for me.” And without another word, she slipped out, with Judy sinking into her seat and watching Quinn through the window, as Finn and Sam immediately scooted into the truck to make space for Quinn in the backseat.

Her blank expression is quickly replaced by a genuine laugh, listening to something one of the two in the front seat is saying, as she settles herself in and closes the door. The truck slowly pulls away from the curb and Judy watches it go until it’s out of her eyeline.

She stands at the window for a few more minutes before she goes to the living room and she cries.

Does anybody have a map?

Happen to know how the hell to do this?

I don’t know if you can tell but this is me just pretending to know

So where’s the map?

I need a clue

Cause the scary truth is…

Will listened for the kids coming down the hallway.

“… Kurt is a little gremlin for deleting my Taylor Swift Spotify playlist—“

“You don’t have the pipes to sing We Are Never Getting Back Together so shut your mouth and admit my playlist is better than yours Finn!”

“He can do Exile pretty well.”

“Parker if you take his side I’m cutting up your Spiderman PS4 suit.”

“DUDE NO THAT’S A WORK OF ART!”

“Then support me Evans!”

“How about Finn singing something a little more in his range? I’m sure we can find something in Taylor Swift’s repertoire that’s—“

“Berry, shut up.”

“Hehe. Hey, Finn, Marley wants to hear you sing All Too Well.”

“Dear God. Dad and Carole are going to kill us if he hears all of us singing All Too Well on repeat.”

“I’m excluded because I’m going back to my fosters.”

“WHAAAT? No way. You’re supposed to help me with that math assignment we were doing this morning.”

“Can I help you tomorrow? I need some time to deal with whatever fallout my fosters will give.”

“I’ll help you!”

“Finn you literally copy off of me in math.”

“Santana your answers are also wrong so…”

“Then why are you copying off of me?!”

“Because I don’t want to look like I’m cheating?”

“My brother, everybody.”

“Finn! Don’t copy from Santana!”

“Did you all know we’re almost perfect photocopies from canon?”

“I- what. Britt?”

“Can we go back to how Finn’s Taylor Swift playlist sucks more than mine?”

“It has the same songs.”

“It’s not about songs, Rachel! It’s about the vibe and ‘aesthetics’.” Will could hear the emphasis and the air quotation marks around the word aesthetics. “But I like Finn’s aesthetic.”

“I will support Kurt if he has the song Ronan in his playlist.”

“The TV one? No. I have the original.”

“Disgusting. I support Finn.”

“Hold on why would you do that trouty lips?”

“He’s supporting that dickbag who owns her original music!”

“OH SHIT REALLY? I’m changing the playlist, this will not stand.”

Will braced himself for the chaos that was coming in as Rachel, Finn, Parker, Sam, Santana, Brittany and Kurt sat in the chairs, still having their discussion about Taylor Swift. Kurt was hotly defending himself, Finn was looking vindicated, Santana swiping angrily through her phone, Brittany looking over her shoulder, Parker and Rachel watching Sam and Kurt argue like a ping pong match.

Quinn walked in next, followed by Puck, Artie and Tina. The latter three were in a heated discussion about whether or not pancakes or waffles were better. Quinn was far more aloof, preferring to sit away from everybody. Rachel frowned at this and after whispering something to Finn, she sat next to Quinn.

Mike, Blaine, Mercedes, Joe and Sugar were the last few to come in. When they all sat, Mike wandered over to Blaine, uncapping a marker and doodling a little dancing man on his cast. Upon seeing this, Joe and Sugar jumped to sign on the cast, Mercedes coming over to Sam to break up the argument about Taylor Swift and tell the group about Blaine’s cast.

Kurt’s eyes lit up upon seeing Blaine, abandoning his seat next to his brothers and sibling, earning him a disgruntled ‘hey’ from Finn. Upon seeing the approaching boyfriend, Mike moved a little, shifting to free a seat beside Blaine for Kurt to pull his boyfriend into his arms without him moving his cast too much.

“Guys-“ Will’s voice was drowned out by Puck and Tina grabbing the markers next.

“Don’t draw penises,” Kurt warned. “His dad.”

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Puck drew a small guitar on Blaine’s cast. “See? Nothing offensive.”

Tina signed her name onto the cast, before pressing a kiss to Blaine’s temple. “Feel better, Blainey days.”

Will cleared his throat, finally catching all of their attention as he awkwardly straightened the stack of PTSD pamphlets in his hands.

“So Emma and I… we thought that you all need to be aware that there are resources available for you whenever you need.” Will avoided eye contact with Blaine, Sam or Parker. “Especially after everything.”

“And?” Quinn asked.

“I want to give you these,” Will mumbled, losing confidence in his words as he hurriedly passed the pamphlets out before he could take it back, “and to let you know that my door is always open for you to talk should you need.”

He looked at Joe. Joe is an easier person to look at than everybody else. But Joe isn’t amused. In fact, his jaw is set in a way that made Will think he was keeping back irritation.

“We’re okay,” Blaine muttered softly.

“We can see how much you’re struggling—“

“And it takes time,” Quinn interrupted. “This was a seriously traumatic event and it’s something a pamphlet wouldn’t be able to fix. Or a talk.”

This was the same thing people kept telling Will and it was something that he and the other parents were frustrated about. They can talk to them, why wouldn’t they? The adults were right there to help.

“I just thought that if you need to, you can use the resources there. You guys have a problem and we’d like to help you fix it-“

“We’re not broken,” Sam said quietly, so quiet that Will almost didn’t hear it. But those words made everybody fall silent, they could hear the undercurrent of denial underneath it. “We’re not broken.”

“We’re not broken,” Blaine repeated, as if he was trying to believe it. “We’re not broken.”

“You’re not broken,” Will reassured, looking away from Rachel’s glare. “I just want to help you get through this.”

“We’ve already been through it, Mr. Schue,” Tina snapped. “We’re trying to figure out how to get up from it. We just need time.”

“We can help you.”

“Pft, yeah right,” Puck scoffed. “Mr. Schue, let’s face it. You can’t help us. You have no idea about what’s going on up here.” He tapped his head. “Understandable to a certain extent. But we just don’t trust adults anymore.”

“Before The Incident we all already knew adults could barely be trusted with our lives,” Parker said simply. “After The Incident, you guys made it a shitshow. Can’t trust you, Mr. Schue. It’s not personal, it’s just trauma. Besides, you’re already making a bungling fool out of yourself trying to help us now. Mr. Schue. Whatever’s wrong with us is a problem only we can fix. Not you or the parents.”

“Can’t I help?”

“No. Now can we carry on with the lesson?” Rachel cut in, giving him a sugary sweet smile and Will baulked, expecting Rachel to be on his side.

“Of… course.”

I’m flying blind

And I’m making this up as I go

As I go

Mentally ill kids Chat

Mom Friend: Do you all need a space to decompress?

Satan: we need a space to study

Satan: trouty mouth is freaking out about his grades

SirHIGHness: burt declared the house a ‘not safe space’ today because people are coming over today

Satan: did he say who?

Samual: no but most of us are iffy with meeting new people

SirHIGHness: he said theyre contractors or something

Fashionista: no dad’s lying. theyre not contractors but he did say they’re important or something

Fashionista: carole took a day off to see them

PTSD Devil: they look really excited about it, i wonder what’s it about

Samual: gUYYSSS STUbying

Lucy Caboosey: sam you put a B instead of a D

Samual: oops

Samual: studying*

Mom Friend: I asked my dads and they said yes. You all can come over.

Mom Friend: This will be a compulsory studying session.

PTSD Devil: ugh fine

Samual: shut up you completed the assignment due in two weeks this morning

PTSD Devil: i can help you with it, do you need a break down of the topic

Samual: yes pls

Still Standing: i have a doctor’s appointment today, i can’t make it if you’re making it outside of this group

Mom Friend: Right, I have to ask everyone else.

Fashionista: no keep it small, i think everybody is busy with something today

Fashionista: i’ll ask blaine to come over

Mom Friend: Okay.

Sebastian-Santana

Santana: hey. fuckface

Sebastian: what do you want

Santana: remember how you told me your warblers were annoying you to hang out with people that aren’t the four walls of your room?

Santana: and you said you couldnt find an opportunity to

Santana: i am forcing you to have the opportunity now

Santana: come over to rachel’s we’re having a study session

Sebastian: you do realize i’m ahead of you all in terms of syllabus right?

Santana: dont care you can talk to ser detective then

Sebastian: but the warblers

Santana: also dont care nick and jeff are on it

Sebastian: fine

Sebastian: i have a question

Santana: ?

Sebastian: are blaine and sam there

Santana: ye

Sebastian: and parker

Santana: yes?

Sebastian: ok

Sebastian: can i make a request?

Santana: what

Sebastian: can i bring marley

Santana: give me a moment

Rachel (Hobbit)-Santana (Ogre)

Ogre: rachel

Hobbit: ?

Ogre: i am bringing 2 tagalongs

Hobbit: I will allow it depending on who they are.

Ogre: the warbler king and ser detective’s gf

Hobbit: Sebastian and Marley are welcome. I thought you were going to say something like Puck.

Ogre: now im tempted

Ogre: no but i know what hes doing

Ogre: get ready for a therapy cry ugly session

Hobbit: I’m also guessing you’re bringing Brittany?

Ogre: yes because i dont need your permission to bring her

Hobbit: Ugh. Fine.

Sebastian-Santana

Santana: green light

Sebastian: alright thanks

Santana: for the record i think this is a good idea?

Sebastian: you think so?

Santana: yea to talk about The Incident

Sebastian: maybe

Mass Friendo Chatto

Santana: i’m lesbian

Puck: i thought you were american!!!

Brittany: the readers thought they were going to get insight to what The Incident was haha nope lol

Artie: what

Kurt: we got used to it dont worry

Mike: road work ahead

Mike: uhm yeah i sure hope it does

Sebastian: @Parker how’s not being able to do the it’s wednesday my dudes meme

Parker: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Sam: FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!

Kurt: replacing my siblings, taking applications

Puck: i’ll be your sibling

Kurt: rejected

Puck: OUCH MAN

Quinn: and here we are again

Parker: heart been brocken so many times

Blaine: mald

Kurt: cope

Parker: i cope </3

Kurt: not hard enough

Jake: you just got ratioed

Parker: man you suck

Puck: of course kurt does

Kurt: SEE THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT MY BROTHER

Tina: puck’s the one guy who would accidentally teach your kids sex when they’re like 5 because he off handedly mentions it

Blaine: i can envision that happening… dear god

Kurt: filing a restraining order against him for my kids

Finn: nono expose them to puck

Kurt: why

Parker: it’s called forced character growth

Kurt: i dont think i want to pay for my kid’s therapy bills

Quinn : and yet here we are needing therapy

Mercedes: i dont think puck = therapy

Jake: LOL NO

Quinn: i beg to differ lmao

Kurt: and thats where you’re wrong cedes

Finn: HA

Puck: i said i was s o r r y

Artie: lmao sorry for what

Artie: puck you dont even understand what you did wrong how can you say sorry when you dont even know

Artie: like,,, all of us, you did some terrible things

Jake: look man im your brother but watching you growing up, i kinda understand where they’re coming from

Jake: you werent a bad bro per se but you definitely messed some of them up in the head ya know

Jake: and i watched it all happen

Tina: i mean you did pick on the OG members and bully them

Artie: you pushed me off my wheelchair at the top of the stairs and i went tumbling down

Finn: dude you forced me to bully kids because you’d hit me and punch me if i dont

Kurt: you made my life a living hell

Quinn: you took my body from me

Quinn: i dont think i can ever get it back

Puck: i’m sorry

Puck: i really messed up

Joe: but youre trying to be better yeah

Puck: yeah

Joe: then have faith, God will forgive you

Puck: im jewish but okay

Puck: thanks for the sentiment

Blaine: yknow im surprised they didnt kick you out man

Blaine: from the way they talk they sound like they havent fully forgiven you yet

Puck: im smart enough to know they never actually will

Unique: not unless you try

New Directions

Sam: tina wtf

Tina: ?

Sam: did you make mr schue cry

Puck: AYO?

Parker: one of us one of us

Quinn: i thought tina was established as badass when she punched azimio in the face

Puck: nono this is like a new achievement

Mike: congrats babe!!

Tina: ???

Tina: i didnt mean to though

Matt: by the way it do be valentine’s day

Rory: yes

Santana: local cryptids come out of exile

Rory: stfu

Sam: single gang!!!

Parker: single gang!!!

Puck: single gang!!!

Rory: single gang!!!

Joe: single gang!!!

Mercedes: sam stfu

Mercedes: you cannot claim single gang after i told you no more white chocolate

Puck: LOL

Quinn: i’m concerned, is that referring to stripper sam or actual white chocolate

Mercedes: take a guess

Quinn: single gang

Artie: single gang baby

Sugar: single gang :)

Tina: i think thats all the singles

Mike: wait matt WTF YOURE NOT SINGLE?

Matt: yea??

Parker: matt? single? his boyfriend is the one who coaches me in archery lmfao

Blaine: hold on i thought you learned archery when you were little

Parker: uh yeah but he was always better than me until… well, you know

Parker: he’s generally a better shot than me but i proved to be better under high pressure situations :)

Matt: er coach isn’t the best way to put it

Matt: he’s more like your archery partner

Parker: yea thats it

Finn: MATTS GAY?

Mike: super slow on the uptake

Puck: WAIT, HES GAY?

Matt: LOL

Matt: mike you know cause i told you

Matt: santana, parker and kurt know cause they have perfect gaydars

Matt: thank you for not outing me btw santana

Santana: yw

Santana: i think i never told anyone because it didnt benefit me to

Santana: seeing you suffer wouldnt have done anything

Matt: still thank you

Santana: i think deep down i also knew that was the worst thing to do

Matt: its ok

Matt: i appreciate coming out in my own time

Puck: i might ask out lauren again

Santana: but why

Quinn: oh yeah she handed santana’s ass to her lmfao

Sam: OOFED

Puck: becuz its valentines day

Mercedes: arent we doing the thing where we give each other notes or candy or something like that in school

Quinn: oh god no

Brittany: hey guys theres a valentines day dance

Artie: oh hell no im skipping

Brittany: i told them you all would come!!!

Parker: wtf whyyyy i dont want to be at a dance with people sucking face with each other gross

Brittany: but youll all sing

Puck: NO

Parker: abandon ship

Sam: sos sos

Mercedes: sam-

Joe: what song

Brittany: love songs

Puck: no

Mike: yeah i do agree with them. cant we not go

Brittany: sue made it mandatory

Rachel: Yes, it unfortunately is.

Parker: that is some utter horseshit

Puck: PLEASE tell me you can convince sue to make it not required

Parker: bruh you want me to use a favour to cancel something small tho, no dice

Parker: to be used when its life threatening only

Puck: but this is life threatening

Parker: being bored to death or cringe to death via third wheeling every single couple in the school does not count as life threatening

Blaine: what if you all brought dates

Puck: HA

Artie: HA

Parker: HA

Quinn: like who

Blaine: i thought puck was gonna ask out lauren

Blaine: i can ask marley if she wants to come

Parker: no.

Sam: CHICKEN

Parker: IM NOT CHICKEN

Sam: 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

Parker: hate you so much

Blaine: so is that a yes??

Quinn: i might ask sebastian on a platonic date and we can judge couples together

Kurt: i fear your friendship with him

Quinn: :)

Artie: i have no date

Brittany: ask becky

Artie: nooooooo

Santana: why, is it because becky has down syndrome?

Artie: wtf no

Artie: its just that becky and i dont mesh well together in terms of personality

Brittany: shes actually really sweet

Artie: i highly doubt it considering she’s around sue 24/7

Finn: come on i just think you guys should talk

Santana: wait is there history between them

Finn: yall didnt know?

Artie: finn

Finn: artie took becky on a date once to try to boost her self confidence and it didnt work so it let to a small argument

Quinn: doesnt seem small

Artie: ok it wasnt small but im just

Artie: not becky

Rachel: You should at least try to clear the air, Artie. At least show that you’re trying to mend the friendship and not just dance around it.

Rachel: One argument shouldn’t end an entire friendship.

Artie: we both said things we didnt mean

Tina: then talk about it and apologize to each other, someone’s gonna have to apologize first

Artie: fine

Blaine: so parker… about marley?

Parker: FINE

Parker: but youre dealing with the aftermath of will crying

Blaine: small price to pay

Tina: >:)

Parker: why are you my friends

Parker: why not pick on sugar

Parker: she doesnt have a date

Sugar: i will be the host so i will not have a date so have fun

Parker: BETRAYAL

Blaine-Parker

Blaine: rt

Blaine: you, me, sam and seb are the only people she can trust about The Incident

Blaine: you and seb are the only people she would trust with her life

Blaine: and maybe its cause you saved her life during the incident

Blaine: but dude how are you so blind

Parker: ?

Blaine: for a genius youre fuckin dumb

Parker: bro iM OFFENDED?

Blaine: why did you do it

Parker: wdym

Blaine: like right here right now tell me why you actually did it

Parker: bruhh?? you’re my friends

Parker: why wouldnt i do it

Blaine: it was over your skillset

Blaine: you said it yourself that it was a suicide mission, do or die

Blaine: you dont do that kind of thing

Parker: idk maybe im a good person?

Blaine: im not denying that

Blaine: but deep down you know the reason why

Parker: ok go on then

Blaine: dude you know why

Parker: know why i did what

Blaine: why you saved us

Blaine: youre not the kind of person to go beyond your willpower and limits for your fRIeNds

Parker: goodbye blocking you

Blaine: your willpower is so great but your denial is greater

Parker: TALK TO THE HAND

Blaine: anyways you should have her at LEAST as a platonic date for the valentines dance

Blaine: i can hear you screaming in confusion

Blaine: i shall take my leave

Mass Friendo Chatto

Blaine: @Marley

Blaine: :)

Finn: IS IT HAPPENING

Marley: is what happening

Parker: i have no idea

Parker: wanna grab lunch

Marley: sure

Finn: is this not a

Kurt: shut up we have to let them figure it out by themselves

Blaine: :)

Sebastian: oh HELL

Jake: WAIT IS IT HAPPENING

Unique: I KNEW IT jake you owe me ten bucks

Kurt: STOP MAKING BETS

New Directions

Puck: hide me

Quinn: ?

Puck: so i may or may not have crashed santana’s date with brittany

Tina: LOL

Mike: she’s gonna murder you man

Mike: F in the chat for puck

Quinn: F

Sugar: F

Tina: F

Artie: F

Blaine: F

Joe: F

Mercedes: F

Rachel: F.

Puck: dude noooo

Finn: guys ok im all for murdering puck but

Finn: how do yall buy groceries

Finn: anyone?

Tina: wdym you just buy them

Finn: yeah well burt took parker and sam to go grocery shopping and they both know but also dont know how to buy groceries

Finn: wait

Finn has kicked Parker and Sam from the group chat

Finn: ok i dont think this should be kept in the mental health chat although we’ll ask them about it later in there but

Finn: theyre both like… really good at buying the bare minimum?

Finn: like, burt’s telling me that parker and sam are like bouncing ideas on how to save food and all that

Finn: im kinda worried because some of the ideas burt’s telling me coming from them is

Finn: [Picture Desc: screenshot of Burt’s messages

to Finn, saying:

Burt: sam just said to have more milk he pours half the bottle in a milk jug and fills both up with water

Burt: parker agreed with him but says that she doesnt get milk all the time because theyre kinda expensive

Burt: and getting cheap, bad loaves of bread every other day and getting dented tins for cheap to make a sandwich for a meal

Burt: doesnt this kid have an enhanced metabolism

Burt: and sam says he sorta does the same thing but with tips from stripping

Burt: and beans and a handful of rice per meal??

Burt: alright that’s it im spoiling these two]

Quinn: the diet of poor people

Kurt: oh yeah dad has been concerned

Kurt: he speculated that the main reason why sam and parker look healthier now is because hes feeding them properly

Kurt: and theyre just barely able to support themselves for food

Kurt: he thinks that because sam has normal metabolism and he had a ‘steadier’ job than parker he was able to keep himself afloat while his family was in hard times

Kurt: while parker has a roof over their head with their fosters, i dont actually think theyre feeding them and neither does he. we think that because all other bases are covered (like shelter and water) all of their expenses go towards food because of their metabolism

Kurt: but obviously they were sticks before dad started feeding them and sheltering them. they were just very strong sticks who could just about keep themselves an inch above malnourishment

Kurt: which obviously dad is worried about because they shouldnt have to do that

Finn: im just asking how do you buy a normal set of groceries

Quinn: i dont know

Puck: jake and i had the same problem as them just before we joined you guys actually

Puck: jake and i ran from our dad and our moms and then for a while we lived on our own

Puck: but just before we ran out of money our moms came together and brought us home

Puck: we used to hoard food and do stuff like that to make food last but now our moms make enough to support us over that zone provided our dad dont take it

Puck: the reason why we got rid of that habit fast was cause mom always saved enough money for us to eat growing up and the schools gave us free lunches

Puck: our dad was just a dick

Puck: those two probably grew up without money

Puck: like before sam left, he didnt look too surprised about it, like he was doing this all again

Quinn: so youre saying they have money and food insecurity

Puck: yeah its like theyre scared the moneys gonna disappear again

Puck: i bet you ten bucks they have coupons on them too

Finn: they do

Puck: see

Tina: so theyre scared that they wont have enough money to buy food and they wont have enough food to eat

Finn: its super funny that theyre both super generous people too

Finn: like, parker and i worked together to save a lot of money for this girl suffering from cancer and they just didnt keep any for themself

Finn: and sam like gave his sandwich to a homeless guy during the stripping phase which honestly says a lot because he was probably so hungry

Kurt: sometimes i wish dad would just adopt them both already like he loves them and already houses them and feeds them like

Sugar: not to be rude but you said sam has a steadier job than parker

Finn: yeah

Sugar: what does parker work as

Finn: im not too sure actually, but they did mention they got paid for deals sometimes

Kurt: they jump jobs a lot and they dont really stay in one job lol

Puck: wasnt parker like a drug addict too

Finn: …

Kurt: …

Santana: bro youre going to die twice today puckerman

Tina: maybe we should do something for sam and parker

Finn: alright lets shut up about it for now, ive got an idea

Finn has added Parker and Sam to the group chat

Sam: ?

Parker: why were we removed

Mike: yes

Parker: okay then

Alphabet Soup Club

Enby God has added Matt and Oliver to the group chat

Enby God has changed Matt’s name to Simp

Enby God has changed Oliver’s name to Bowman

Enby God: new people- introductions go!

Gotta Gay: santana, she/her, lesbian, cis

Binder Dumbass 1: sam, he/him, pansexual or bisexual i have no idea, trans ftm

Binder Dumbass 2: blaine, he/him, gay, trans ftm

Bibibi: artie, he/him, bisexual (its in the name), cis

Marls: Marley! She/her, panromantic demisexual and cis!

Uniqueen: unique, she/her, ace and gray aro, trans mtf

Lesbehonest: quinn, she/her, lesbian and cis

Gay King: kurt, he/him, gay, cis

Jakey D: jake, he/him, bisexual and cis

Under The Sea: sebastian and he/him. Gay and cis

Bichel: Rachel. She/her. Bisexual. Cis.

Enby God: and that leaves meee.

Enby God: parker, they/them or she/her doesn’t matter, pansexual as fuuuuuck and non binary

Simp: quick question before i introduce myself

Enby God: ?

Simp: why isnt brittany here and isnt tina a certified bisexual

Enby God: tina refused to be here because, and i quote, “i cannot keep getting stressed over sam and blaine and their ridiculous and unhealthy habits of having a binder on”

Lesbehonest: so it fell onto me haha

Bichel: And me.

Enby God: also santana has expressly forbidden us from inviting brittany in any branching chat other than the mass chat and the new directions chat

Gotta Gay: because she gets confused with the different chats and then gets upset when shes confused

Bibibi: yeah so for britt we usually talk to her individually or in person because over the phone things get interpreted wrong esp in group chats

Lesbehonest: were not excluding britt, she also told us not to put her in the branching chats especially since we changed our names

Simp: so anyways…

Simp: i’m matt, he/him, gay and cis

Bowman: i’m oliver, matt’s boyfriend, he/him, pansexual and cis

Marls: you should do a rollcall for the other chats

Enby God: oh yeaah

Mentally ill kids Chat

PTSD Devil has added Sebastian

PTSD Devil has changed Sebastian’s name to Warbler Spy

PTSD Devil: ROLLCALL!!!

SirHIGHness: finn, he/him

Satan: again??? fine

Satan: santana, she/her

Hypocrite101: marley, she/her

Gallows Humor: blaine, he/him

Fashionista: kurt, he/him

daddy issues #1: puck

Lucy Caboosey: and?

daddy issues #1: he/him ig

daddy issues #2: jake and he/him

Samual: sam, he/him

Lucy Caboosey: Quinn, she/her

Mom Friend: Rachel, she/her.

Still Standing: artie, he/him

PTSD Devil: i’m the one and only parker. They/them, she/her it don’t matter

Warbler Spy: …

Warbler Spy: i thought you guys were going to say your issues

PTSD Devil: we could

PTSD Devil: but it’ll be a looooong list

PTSD Devil: ok i mean after The Incident you deserved a spot in here

Still Standing: this is where the most messed up kids gather!!!

Gallows Humor: yeah!!!! welcome to the messed up kids club!!!

Warbler Spy: i was messed up before the incident but thank you for including me

Warbler Spy: sebastian, he/him

Gallows Humor: oh we were about to add you the day before the incident cause we knew that

Lucy Caboosey: we’re also known as the flight risk kids.

Mom Friend: By right, Brittany should be here, but she’s not which I fully understand, but she is one of us.

Warbler Spy: what’s with the calendar

Lucy Caboosey: tracks incidents like panic attacks/runaways/overloads and the information pertaining that so we can better help each other

Warbler Spy: the incident takes up a lot of space huh

PTSD Devil: i may have complicated that, that one’s on me

Warbler Spy: why are you the flight risk students tho

SirHIGHness: because we’re the ones most likely to you know

Fashionista: die

SirHIGHness: yeah that

Warbler Spy: i didnt expect you to be here

SirHIGHness: nobody expects me to be anywhere anyways but high either

SirHIGHness: dont worry, i expected myself to be in hell right now even though that’s the opposite of high

Lucy Caboosey: FINN!

SirHIGHness: what? it’s the truth

Mom Friend: Ignore him. Everyone here copes with dark humor.

Warbler Spy: you too rachel, why are you here

Mom Friend: …

Mom Friend: Let’s just say having two adoptive dads in a homophobic neighbourhood and being bullied for existing ever since you could walk really messes with your head.

Mom Friend: And so you try to be perfect and good enough and to be a star so you can prove all of them wrong until one day you look at yourself in the mirror and think, “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Mom Friend: So you stand on a stool with a noose around your neck because maybe, just maybe, when you die, maybe then you’ll be good enough because you’re simply not there.

Mom Friend: But then the noose breaks and you fall to the ground and you smash your head against the floor and when you come to in the hospital all you can do is stare and be numb until the day you return to school, where, lo and behold, there is a sign up sheet for the Glee club, therefore one last chance to prove yourself.

Lucy Caboosey: rachel do you need to sit down

Mom Friend: Yes, yes I do.

Warbler Spy: artie?

Still Standing: I lost my ability to walk in an accident when I was younger. What does that say?

Warbler Spy: what about

PTSD Devil: i lost my parents in an accident when i was young then got bounced from foster house to foster house, mostly ending in violence. got bullied and learned to stand up for myself in not the nicest way

PTSD Devil: the end!

Warbler Spy: i was gonna say quinn

Lucy Caboosey: i had a lying, abusive, gaslighting father who threw me out on the streets the moment he found out i was pregnant and he hated me and favoured my older sister which shattered my self esteem from young and i grew up not treasuring my own body— an eating disorder too

Warbler Spy: that makes sense

Satan: what about you before the incident?

Warbler Spy: before the incident?? hold on, what about you?

Satan: i have anger issues. like real anger issues that explode in yo face

Satan: repressed self hate, etc etc eating disorder from sue, learned not to treasure own body, abandonment issues, trust issues

PTSD Devil: omg same

daddy issues #1: yooo lets go

daddy issues #2: most of us here have abandonment issues lol

Warbler Spy: something i share in common with you guys!

PTSD Devil: one of us one of us one of us

Still Standing: honestly, who here hasnt been diagnosed with depression

Mom Friend: Nobody.

Hypocrite101: this is like high school musical, we’re all in this together

Warbler Spy: LOL MARLEY? WHY ARE YOU HYPOCRITE

Samual: cause she’s a hypocrite lmfao she says something then does the opposite

Satan: tbf we all do that

Samual: i know but marley is like the worst at it

Samual: the only other who can compete is rachel

Mom Friend: Hey!

Samual: but i wouldnt change it because rachel earned mom friend title

PTSD Devil: lol we’re all major hypocrites here we just are ranked to how much

Warbler Spy: im assuming marley takes the lead

Samual: yeah but only slightly cause rachel is close behind

Samual: the rest of us are like way behind

Still Standing: the lowest is parker because she can give it to you straight and not bullshit you lmao

Still Standing: like she will not tell you not to do it, she’ll either say that she’ll do it with you, or that it’s all within your control and not her choice even though she can and will state logical reasons why not to do said thing

Lucy Caboosey: annoying logic

PTSD Devil: subtle manipulation to get yall to stop doing bad habits sometimes tsk

Samual: its not like you dont care lol

Samual: youre just fuckin honest in these moments

PTSD Devil: hm yeah

PTSD Devil: like if i see you about to attempt? i can give you all the reasons why you shouldnt die, manipulate you into coming down etc etc but

PTSD Devil: like… id do that for myself too

PTSD Devil: therefore my words have no meaning, it’s just empty lol

PTSD Devil: i cant tell finn to stop drugs because im still taking it, that’s not my position

Warbler Spy: i see

PTSD Devil: anyways you’re messed up from the incident and from before and you’re a flight risk student so welcome!

Warbler Spy: suddenly this feels less welcoming than before

Gallows Humor: good. when you’re here you’re considered broken by society

Mom Friend: Welcome.

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

For the record, I know I’m broken. It’s just that I don’t know whether to be mad at society for making this exist or them for hammering the point home.

Hot Wheels @mobiledirector

@smythedbyagod always be mad at society dude, because at the end of the day, we wouldnt be here if not for them

Hot Wheels @mobiledirector

@smythedbyagod but you can be mad at us too. that’s what we’re here for.

William McKinley High @McKinleyOfficial

We are announcing a revamp of our school mental health system! Also, look forward to the Valentine’s Day Dance!

Quinntessential @queenfabray

@McKinleyOfficial is this a joke? same breath as valentine’s day dance is the mental health system

Kurt @falsettoking

@queenfabray welcome to society, society sucks

Satantana @thebetterdevil

kurt and quinn got detention for ‘besmirching the name of mckinley on twitter’

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

@thebetterdevil I feel like this is the start of a joke we will not get.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! SOCIETY SUCKS!

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@theparkinglot what they mean to say is that society should know better

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@theparkinglot also please get off of twitter you’re ignoring your science fair project

SamIAm @greeneggsandham

@theparkinglot @thewallflower the school system sucks though, they’re right

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@greeneggsandham @theparkinglot i agree, the school system sucks but we’re having a snack right now and i dont really wanna talk about how much people let me down

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@thewallflower @greeneggsandham sorry marls

finnegan @quarterboy

why did everyone get detention

finnegan @quarterboy

like santana, sam, rachel and parker got detention

finnegan @quarterboy

marley just texted saying she got detention so she would be late in visiting us

finnegan @quarterboy

that makes no sense cuz marley is a good student

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@quarterboy apparently the schools thought she was badmouthing them, they thought the same for everybody else

finnegan @quarterboy

@smythedbyagod ???????????????? im talking to burt and mr schue bruh

Twinkletoes @dirtydancingmike

update: my gf got detention because she started complaining about how unfair the school was in the hallway

William McKinley High @McKinleyOfficial

Valentine’s Day dance is coming up soon! Who’s your date?

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@McKinleyOffical and nothing about your mental health support for students? pathetic

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

oh goodie, i didnt realize i could get detention until now

finnegan @quarterboy

@smythedbyagod bruh you too

Burt looked impassively at his kids and the visitors coming over late as Blaine, Mercedes and Finn hovered behind him.

Finn hadn’t been as opinionated as the other two, but the other two had kept quiet when the McKinley twitter had released their tweets. Later they explained that they only found out what was going on after Tina was walked to detention in the hallway with Mike gaping and Mercedes and Blaine staring.

“So, you all got detention?”

Sam sighed. “Burt don’t start, you sound like Captain America in Spider-Man Homecoming.”

Burt kind of winced at that. “I don’t want to sound all patriotic and self-righteous. I just want to know: what happened?”

“We disagreed with the school,” Rachel said simply. Parker seemed to sway on their feet, lost in thought or dissociating. Their gaze was very far away, the only thing seemingly keeping them in reality was Marley’s hand in theirs. Marley herself looked everywhere but at Burt, shrugging at random times. Kurt and Rachel seemed like they were the most present in the moment, so Burt looked at them instead.

“Finn showed me the posts. But how did that result in detention?”

“Something about disrespecting the school’s name. I don’t know why though, we’ve gotten away with far more.” Kurt gestured at Parker, who didn’t respond. Marley squeezed their hand twice and that elicited more of a reaction, prompting them to squeeze back twice. Burt raised his eyebrows at Kurt, causing him to throw up his hands in the air. “I don’t know! That was the only thing we said!”

“Okay.” Burt glanced at Parker again, then at Sam, who was fidgeting slightly. “Then why is everybody weird?”

“Shell-shocked because they were caught off guard.” Kurt pointed at Parker. “Anxious because he thought he thinks did something far worse than saying society sucks.” He pointed at Sam. “Something happened to her during detention or before we picked her up and she won’t say.” He pointed at Marley.

Now Burt was more than concerned. “Marley?”

“It’s fine…” She shifted a little, her movement now being scrutinized by almost everybody in the room. “Nothing happened.”

“That’s a lie,” Parker mumbled, still staring off into space. Marley flushed at the declaration, looking away from everyone. “That was good, I almost didn’t catch it this time. Have you been practicing?”

Everybody stared at Marley, who shook her head, opting not to go for a verbal answer now. “I’m not going to talk about it now.”

“Okay.” They left it at that. Simple. Easy. “Later?”

“Later.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay.” And then they stayed quiet.

Burt figured that if Parker hadn’t called Marley out on lying, they probably would talk about it later. Which is great, but Burt might also have to reach out to Millie about this.

But for now…

“I’ll call the school and hear them out,” Burt finally said, deciding not to push the kids. “And talk to them. If this is just about the posts, they should have no reason to punish you.”

“Okay.” Rachel nodded, coming forward first, before hugging Finn suddenly, catching him by surprise as his body teetered back to accommodate Rachel’s weight. “The teacher who told us we have detention…”

“We weren’t going to amount to anything, he said. If we just shut up and kept quiet we wouldn’t be in this situation now,” Kurt finished. “And then he said more not nice words about Parker. He was implying they were…”

“They were…?”

“Retarded,” Sam finished, but he pulled a face when he said that. “And he called me a tranny. He told me I was just confused.”

Burt saw red for a moment, enough so that Marley almost took a step back from the sudden anger that came over him, flinching away from him and almost cowering behind Kurt and Parker.

Immediately, Parker’s body whirred into motion like a rusty animatronic, moving as if their gears hadn’t been oiled for years. Slow, lethargic like a lagging computer, they oozed power like a dying bulb, feeling it coming on and off in waves, eyes flickering between consciousness and haziness. They stepped in front of Marley completely, a soldier standing tall.

Sam was faster, stepping beside Marley and sort of curling over her to protect her, but behind Parker who was standing, defiant, waiting, relying on their spidey senses for danger rather than their mind. Sam was on high alert, ready to spring into action at anything, even if it was slightly or not dangerous. Like a snake, poised to strike, he scowls lightly, muscles taut and ready to jump to her defense.

It’s- it’s unnerving, how quick they were to react to anger or to Marley’s distress.

“Woah, calm down.” Burt raised his hands, as if to show that he was unarmed and not a threat. Sam relaxed slightly, but Parker remained undeterred.

Unsure if their blank state was affecting their aggression, Burt decided to take a deep breath and shove all the angry thoughts away, noticing that Kurt and Rachel had also tensed when Parker moved abruptly.

The different kids had auras. Finn had this aura where it made you want to listen, one of quiet authority, the one that says listen to me, I know what I’m doing. Follow my lead. It was what made him a leader, something that people flock to for strength, sensing that he was the dude to follow around.

Kurt and Quinn have similar auras. Both quietly strong. Push them and they’ll push you back. It’s not like Finn who makes people come to him. Their aura is what makes most people stand in respect for them or stare in jealousy, because they carry themselves in a way that others simply can’t. Walking forward, head held high.

Then there’s Parker. Their aura was… all sorts of wrong. Some people can change their auras depending on how they stand, what they do or how they behave. Rachel is a prime example of that. So is Parker.

But normally? Parker’s aura feels normal, but there’s always this nagging thought at the back of your mind that screams danger, danger, danger. There’s a set of wrongness to the way they move and act. Like they weren’t natural, a quiet danger that makes everyone around them scared deep down in their bones. Why largely everyone avoids them. There’s a sense of uncertainty there, trying to pinpoint something wrong but there seems not to be… until it’s too late.

Not like Rachel. Rachel’s aura is a direct correlation with her mood. Most of the time it’s a warning beacon, screaming for attention. She can’t quite control the change in aura.

But Parker could, especially in terms of fear. They can make you feel like the room is chilly, that you’re alone, eyes drilling into your head with a smile you’re actually not too sure is really on their lips. It’s how they intimidate people, twisting that sense of wrongness in their natural aura to scare people. They could ooze their utter killing intent, showing just a little bit of how disturbed they really were-

Or, and this was the scarier part, they can actively mask that wrongness. Mask that they were ever disturbed at all, or ever prone to violence. Mask everything until it’s far too late and that sick smile-

The point was, Burt knows the kids’ auras. They give them away. Because almost everyone wasn’t immune to Parker’s fear and intimidation (Burt is honestly surprised because Marley has either been through some messed up shit or has some fucking balls of steel to withstand it) it was concerning when he couldn’t actually feel anything coming off of the kid.

No protectiveness, no nothing. It was nothing but a cold numbness.

Burt could feel it.

Everybody else was muted. Still there, still flaring, but muted. As if someone wanted to tamp down a flame that’s not supposed to go out.

“It’s over,” Blaine whispered quietly, approaching Marley and Parker slowly. “It’s okay. We’re not there.”

No response. Better than aggression.

It’s only when Marley squeezed Parker’s hand did Parker relax, but remained in that glazed state, staring into space.

“I’ll talk to the school.” Burt looked at Marley but held his tongue. “Is it okay?”

“Okay.”

Burt watched them settle in, Finn trying to distract his siblings with Mario Kart. Mercedes let Sam lean into her, with Blaine and Kurt letting themselves be distracted. Rachel clung onto Finn and buried her face into his shoulder, clearly tired. Parker and Marley remained entangled in each other, Marley throwing her legs over Parker’s lap and curling into their side.

He noticed, for a brief moment, how she favoured her right arm, hiding her left arm from view.

And then she was back to everything being normal.

Tired Parents Club

Will: i tried

Burt: clearly.

Carole: what happened?

Burt: kids got detention and they said something about the teacher implying that parker’s retarded and sam’s a tranny

Will: did the kids give a name?

Burt: i tried asking them once they were settled down but they didnt want to, they were too scared or tired

Burt: millie is there something going on with marley?

Millie: i dont know, i’ve tried asking her about whats going on in school but she just deflects

Millie: i think something bad’s going on in her school but i dont know what it is

Carole: im coming home in an hour, i’ll check on them

Will: ill check with figgins about the staff and detention

SamIAm @greeneggsandham

New day new me

SamIAm @greeneggsandham

also it’s time for the valentines day dance ugh

Queencedes @misscedesjones

shit’s going down today and not in the best way

Kurt @falsettoking

why is my dad and carole driving angrily to school

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

@falsettoking My dads are coming too?

Quinntessential @queenfabray

@falsettoking @rachelberryofficial so is my mom

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@falsettoking @rachelberryofficial @queenfabray my parents are coming also??

Queen T @tinacohenc

@falsettoking @rachelberryofficial @queenfabray @thebetterdevil all of us who went to detention for what we said have our guardians coming over, mine are coming too

Satantana @thebetterdevil

@tinacohenc oh so that explains the bitches coming out of this car that i want to crash so badly. theyre ser detective’s fosters arent they

Kurt @falsettoking

@thebetterdevil OH THEYRE HERE TOO?? DUDE @quarterboy

finnegan @quarterboy

@falsettoking ?

Kurt @falsettoking

@quarterboy theyre gonna die to burt and carole

finnegan @quarterboy

@falsettoking LOL

finnegan @quarterboy

@theparkinglot your fosters are going to be kicked to the curb by mom and burt

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@quarterboy My fosters: trying to exist

Burt and Carole:

[Picture Desc: The ‘If he dies, he dies’ meme]

Satantana @thebetterdevil

how do u know youre lesbian? simple. you dont until you gay panic and push everyone away from you

Britt-Britt! @bicornbritt

@thebetterdevil i love you

William McKinley High @McKinleyOfficial

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is the day for the dance!

Notes:

Sorry bout that. I got too carried away on this one. :)

Chapter 4: who's the sappiest of them all?

Summary:

Set in the future, future, far away from The Incident and a bunch of other stuff... myahahahhahaha

Notes:

also enjoy this filler while i try and finish the valentines arc

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Mass Friendo Chatto

Sebastian: whos the biggest sap here

Sugar: thats actually a really good question

Finn: parker

Parker: finn

Rachel: Parker.

Santana: blaine

Blaine: really cause i was gonna say you santana

Santana: dont even

Sebastian: i think its good ol blaine

Tina: well youre all wrong cause its santana

Santana: i will smack your ass down into hell

Tina: who says im not going down there anyways

Mike: E M O T I O N A L D A M A G E

Sam: def parker tho

Parker: why are people saying its me

Parker: i can end your life how is that sappy

Rachel: Ignoring that concerning statement and the traumatic experiences that reminds me of, the reason why we say it’s you is because you are.

Parker: no im not

Sam: here we go again with the denial

Parker: what denial

Santana: you def call marley a pet name

Parker: no i dont

Santana: what do bees make?

Parker: honey?

Marley: yes

Santana: dont fucking lie to my face again

Sam: i caught you both slow dancing to lover by taylor swift in the kitchen

Parker: WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THERE

Sam: you both took ‘dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light’ seriously

Parker: sam i hope your custom lightsaber breaks after the first use

Sam: *le sigh* i deserve that one

Sam: so worth it tho

Finn: HA see little sib you’re the sappiest

Parker: kiss your signed copy of folklore goodbye

Finn: ok shutting up now

Santana: HA weak

Parker: you were also the one who was designing her wedding with brittany in advance

Santana: who the fuck told you that

Parker: you, idiot

Quinn: you rambled to both of us about brittany for two hours when we asked you if you wanted to go to breadstix

Santana: fuck

Parker: and rachel

Rachel: ?

Parker: you were the one who bought the signed vinyl disc of the red tv album for finn because he liked taylor swift and you didnt but you wanted to make him happy because the football team lost again

Finn: THAT WAS YOU?

Rachel: You- yes that was me.

Brittany: aw how sweet santana you wanted a wedding?

Santana: osjdlaksbalajsjsowns

Parker: youcan also have my Top 3 horniest couples list

Parker: 3. Finchel

Finn: thats not true

Parker: 2. Klaine

Kurt: why would you do this

Parker: 1. Brittana

Santana: britt and i aren’t hornier than them

Parker: the reason why the rest of us is so desensitized is admittedly because of kurt and blaine but the number of times we caught yall in the act is more than them after you came out

Rachel: Finn and I are not horny.

Unique: that is false

Jake: i concur

Sebastian: i do have to agree with the kurt and blaine thing

Sam: i just have a problem about yall doing it in dirty places man

Tina: i mean of all the couples the straight couples are usually the safest because we have the advantage of a bedroom or something

Parker: unfortunate

Sam: just want yall to be safe yknow

Sam: and not caught?

Parker: youre so lucky i heard you and mercedes getting it on before i walked into your room sam

Sam: WAIT YOU WERE HOME

Parker: TOO BUSY HELPING BURT MY ASS

Marley: if you wanted a date with mercedes you could have just said so, we wouldnt have made fun of you or anything

Mercedes: oh god you were there

Parker: i cant fault you for that, that was smart for waiting till everyone was out of the house

Parker: just sheer luck i forgot something in your room

Parker: although one of you did it in my room you fuckers better own up

Santana: that was britt and i

Parker: THAT WAS YOU BOTH?!!?!!?

Parker: WHY WERE YOU IN MY ROOM?

Santana: marley was sleeping on you and you looked so comfy so we snuck away and then we got carried away

Sam: is this why you switched laundry day with me

Parker: yes.

Finn: GROSS

Parker: i really hoped it was web fluid on my bed honestly goddamn it

Sugar: but can we all agree parker is the biggest sap?

Parker: fine whatever.

Parker-Santana

Parker: you so owe me

Santana: ty i appreciate it

Parker: OWE ME

Parker: jk lmao you dont

Parker: i dont actually care lmfao being a sap is just a word

Santana: then why act like that bruh

Parker: because sometimes teasing me makes yall happy and if its lighthearted who am i to deny that?

Santana: christ i forgot how ‘advanced’ you are

Parker: lmao yall seem to forget that if i wanted to, id have advanced to college already, or maybe gotten a phd if i really tried

Parker: but no all i got was being placed a year in advance and now im back to my regular level because of my suspension

Santana: why didnt you go forward ser detective

Parker: to be honest, its cause of you guys

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Forever and ever and ah,

Take me out, and take me home,

You’re my, my, my, my

Lover

Brittany-Santana

Brittany: i love you

Santana: i love you too

Santana: so much

Santana: you know that cute little cat stuffie i got you

Brittany: yes? lord tubbington wants to eat it though i told him it was unhealthy for him

Santana: theres a zipper on the back, you should open it

Brittany: santana you didnt have to

Santana: but i wanted to

Santana: it reminded me of you

Santana: i love you and no matter what i will always be there with you

Brittany: even if youre not here?

Santana: even if im not here

Notes:

no i will not be giving marley and parker soft content until we get through a few things first

Chapter 5: valentine's day shenanigans pt. 2

Summary:

Continuation of the Valentine's Day shenanigans.
also what is the plot doing i dont know
TW: lots and lots of slurs, suicide mentions, rape mention, torture mention

Notes:

hohoho

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

New Directions

Sam: somebody explain why finn is crying

Rachel: He and Parker got a letter from one of the cancer patients they were anonymously raising money for.

Rachel: They’re happy tears, don’t worry.

Finn: she’s in remission!!!! im so happy

Puck: u mean cured right

Finn: they dont say cured, they say in remission

Puck: but why tho

Quinn: because cancers have a chance of coming back you dumbass

Quinn: when they say in remission it means they dont see the cancer in tests and things like that

Finn: yeah which is good!!! the treatments were super expensive

Rachel: We’re so happy for her!

Puck: whats this got to do with you and the other dipshit?

Artie: dude. too rude

Finn: it means the treatment parker and i saved up for worked and she can live longer

Puck: dude it doesnt matter. people die. it was probably some old hag you saved

Tina: what the hell is wrong with you today?

Mike: dude…

Puck: what? just saying the truth. it didnt matter, she wouldnt have had a future anyways or probably deserved to die because of some fucked up shit she did

Parker: she’s four years old, puck.

Parker: she has a life ahead of her.

Parker: she was diagnosed with leukemia when she was two. she likes music and books.

Finn: when she grows up she wants to be a music teacher

Finn: shes really good at math too

Finn: and she tries her damn hardest to get out of bed and talk to people and tell them not to give up

Parker: her name is lena rosenburg.

Parker: and you, noah puckerman, are an asshole.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

Happy Valentine’s Day. Remember to have a good one with your loved ones.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

Also, donate to cancer charities such as the American Cancer Society, to support people who can’t have a good one with their loved ones now to do so in the future.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

While you’re at it, donate to The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization aimed towards lowering suicide rates amongst the LGBT community. Maybe you can help someone from losing their loved ones this Valentine’s Day.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

All I’m saying is to just be kind. There’s really not much to ask for. Hell, just withhold a mean comment. Believe me, the world would be better off if there was just one less mean comment per person.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

Don’t be an asshole. I have done things that I shouldn’t, but I don’t go out of my way to make things worse for everyone. I just want things to be better. Is that too much to ask?

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

I’m trying to be better. But you have to stop forcing me to keep making decisions I don’t want to do. I’ll do what’s necessary to protect my family and the people around me… stop driving me to that point.

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

And no, I can’t walk away from it. You know why? Because nobody would help them if I did.

Lima Watch @LimaNewsWatch

The Lima Devil is a hypocrite and a menace. A killer and yet she goes around asking people to be kind? This is manipulation to get you to pity her!

Mass Friendo Chatto

Santana: @Parker sheesh you have a hero complex

Parker: first of all

Parker: i only step in when it’s really, really bad.

Kurt: when rachel got jumped?

Parker: mhm

Mike: when i got made fun of at the bar you didnt go flying to my rescue

Parker: you could handle it man

Parker: there are situations i step in and situations where i dont

Marley: like when those people wolf whistled me

Parker: yeah i wasnt too happy about that but they didnt do anything to you so i let it be

Parker: i only step in when its, “oh shit i need help I NEED HELP AAAA”

Blaine: The Incident

Parker: the Incident was one of the most extreme cases, but yes, that one forced my hand to do something unpleasant

Parker: the justice system wouldnt have done much for the mastermind, i had to end it right where it started

Parker: have you ever heard of a hydra?

Rachel: Greek mythology?

Quinn: i love greek mythology

Tina: what about it?

Parker: people are sometimes short-sighted. they think that what i do is bad when really, i’m stopping the chain reaction before it even starts

Sebastian: which means…

Parker: if i let him go and get arrested, it would be cutting off one hydra’s head

Parker: but see when you cut a hydra’s head off… what happens?

Rachel: Two more grow in its place?

Parker: precisely

Parker: but hercules cut it off and had his nephew cauterize the wound so that nothing would grow out of it, leaving it to die

Tina: i dont understand

Parker: i do things because in the end, i dont want things to get worse.

Parker: cause and effect. thats how the world works.

Parker: so maybe i do have a hero complex but if something happens to you all while i had the power to stop it?

Parker: i will never forgive myself.

Sebastian: thats the scary thing about having so much power and influence dude

Sebastian: you have the power but at the end of the day, you’re still human and things will slip through the cracks

Parker: i know

Parker: why do you think i also have a guilt complex?

Santana: youre fucking scary bro

Parker: gee thanks

Unique: you trust us with our own safety right?

Parker: yeah? i just dont trust the people around you

Unique: we’ll push through stuff no matter what happens to us

Parker: if it turns out like The Incident again

Parker: to be very honest?

Parker: i would do it all again. i dont regret it.

Parker: im ashamed of what i did, but ill never take it back

Parker: because deep down i knew it was the right thing to do.

For the kids, Burt had demanded an audience with Figgins with the rest of the involved’s parents. They had all collectively agreed this was bullshit and went straight to Figgins.

Burt breathed deeply, finishing his angry rant. He glared hard at the teacher who cowered under his gaze. On a FaceTime call, the Evans parents looked extremely unhappy that their kid was called a tranny by a teacher. He pointedly avoided the rich and pompous fosters’ gaze and settled on Figgins. Sue looked unhappy to be called out to this meeting while Will stood in the corner, arms folded.

The offending teacher in question, Mr. Neam, withered when Figgins finally turned to look at him. With the security footage, it confirmed the kids’ story and this history teacher had no leg to stand on.

“I will discuss with you the consequences of your actions later,” Figgins hissed, before turning to the waiting parents. “I didn’t know Harris would actively punish the students.” He gave a side eye to the mentioned teacher. “By the time someone had alerted me, it was too late and the damage was already done. Harris had the password because he was the manager for our twitter and so he took the matter into his own hands.”

“You should have been more on top of things,” Carole muttered, shaking her head.

Burt let himself sort of fade into the background. Kurt always told him that he listened and watched others and that was how he got the drop on them.

He hoped the kids were okay, though. Parker was pretty out of it and continued to be. Sam had more or less returned to a happier state, but he was also jumpy, as if anticipating something big.

God no. He doesn’t want to deal with his kids going missing another time.

finnegan @quarterboy

proud of my friendo @thewallflower cause she won a songwriting competition and came in first place

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@quarterboy @thewallflower WOOT GO MARLS

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@quarterboy @smythedbyagod she gave the money to daniel’s parents though

finnegan @quarterboy

@theparkinglot @smythedbyagod how the fuck did she find out about daniel, we kept the cancer patient donations anonymous

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@quarterboy @theparkinglot you really didnt think she wouldn’t chip in as soon as she found out you were raising money for cancer patients?

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@smythedbyagod @quarterboy good point

Peter Parker @theparkinglot

@thewallflower I’m proud of you. <3

Mass Friendo Chatto

Puck: hey marley

Marley: ?

Puck: why are you always so nice to people

Marley: because i can

Kurt: puck… if you’re gonna be an ass…

Puck: im not im just tryna see what jake sees in her

Unique: you mean you DONT see the ray of sunshine that she is?

Puck: like arent u afraid that people are gonna take advantage of u

Puck: shit thats just naive of you

Kurt: bold of you to know the meaning or existence of the word naive, noah

Puck: back the fuck up i was just asking a question

Kurt: and im not an idiot noah

Quinn: whats going on?

Kurt: scroll up

Puck: im just saying marley shouldnt trust like everyone and anyone she meets

Puck: im wondering how shes so nice all the time like

Puck: that has to be kinda fake right

Puck: and stupid because she probably thinks the world is nice

Puck: shes poor and all but i dont think shes seen the hard shit so i dont get how the fuck shes so nice all the time

Quinn: … are you grossed out by it or something?

Quinn: like, what did she even do to YOU?

Sebastian: okay fIRST OF ALL

Marley: stop talking about me like i’m not here

Marley: im not naive. im not as stupid as you think i am, or ignorant.

Marley: there is a reason why im in the mentally ill kids chat.

Marley: there is a reason why i choose to be nice.

Marley: i have been through a lot, and i have met a lot of bad people. but it doesnt make me you.

Marley: i choose to be a nice person because of all that ive been through, to be the one putting the light into the world, because sure as hell nobody’s going to be putting it there for me.

Marley: i choose to trust people because i want to give someone that chance that i didnt get.

Marley: i choose to be nice because its not in my nature to be mean. i want this world to be better.

Marley: i can read between the lines, puck. i know youre angry that you cant have anybody’s seemingly perfect life so you take it out on everybody around you.

Marley: my niceness could be fake because honestly, if i wasnt nice, i wouldnt know how to hold myself up. deep down its a mask i use to hold myself together. if i cant help myself, i at least could help others.

Marley: without choosing to be nice, id end up a husk and bitter and adding on to whatever grief this world has

Marley: or i would be dead.

Marley: because when i choose to be nice, im also choosing the belief that there is hope in the future.

Quinn: and i can read between the lines and the unsaid words of ‘for others, not me’ tacked on to the end of that

Puck: you’re going to die if you keep going this way anyways. theres no point

Kurt: NOAH!

Marley: i already am.

Jake: bro wtf

Sebastian: you are so lucky you are still alive right now

Finn: …

Finn: dude i dont think an apology is going to bring you back from that

Puck: youre all idiots for enabling this

Puck: maybe the incident was a good idea after all

Santana: thin ice

Finn: nono, i got this

Finn: @Parker

The New Directions, minus Puck and Parker, were seated at the cafeteria, munching down their lunches as they sat in silence and tension.

Quinn was texting Sebastian about the Valentine’s Day dance with Mike looking over her shoulder and poking her randomly, which in turn caused Quinn to poke him back.

Rachel was eating very, very slowly, almost expecting something to happen. Finn let her lean on his shoulder, before Puck came in with the next wave of students, looking perfectly fine.

Wordlessly, they all slid their trays over and avoided Puck as he took his place at the table, giving him a wide berth. Finn got up and sat at the furthest end of the table abruptly, leaving Rachel to look between him and the space he left behind, before glancing back at Puck and nodding for the next person to shift over to fill the seat Finn vacated, which was Quinn.

It did make sense. Finn wasn’t the most level-headed of the bunch sometimes and his anger gets the best out of him. Rachel was happy to serve as a buffer between him and Puck in order to avoid the coming train wreck that was Puck’s rough attitude.

Speaking of which, where did it even come from? They knew Puck was an ass, but not that much of an ass. This simply couldn’t just be a bad day, now could it? Rachel was more concerned now.

“Noah, are you okay?” Rachel asked gently.

He ignored her, instead keeping his eyes on his food. That was stranger, considering he is the target of the deadly whirlwind that was Parker.

Where were they anyways?

They never had the… best friendship, to put it lightly. Puck antagonized Parker, Parker antagonized Puck. The former sometimes seems genuinely angry at the latter, the latter just does it to the former for shits and giggles.

Glee Club may be a family, but there were also strained relationships between certain people due to incidents, or history, or maybe simply because their personalities didn’t mesh too well together.

Puck and Parker were an example. Finn and Quinn were another, after the whole babygate thing. Finn and Puck. Mercedes and Parker. Santana and Artie. Sugar and Parker. Kurt and Puck. Rory and Artie. Rachel and Sugar. Blaine and Puck. Maybe more.

(And not just the petty kind of back and forth— Rachel means actual and genuine strained relationships. She sees Puck’s name a lot in this list— he has a lot to make up for.)

Most of them have apologized to each other for what they’ve done in the past. Though not all was forgiven, most of them took a step forward.

Puck never apologized, Rachel remembered with a start. It was why Burt could never be cordial with Puck and Carole just barely tolerating him. She knows Finn is torn between hating Puck and forgiving him, because on one hand, he did let himself follow Puck around mindlessly and bullying people because he didn’t know any better. On the other hand, Puck single-handedly made Quinn pregnant and ruin Finn’s first good relationship in his entire life and dragged the entire Glee Club into the dirt by doing so.

She shuddered. Babygate, as they all called it, was probably one of the quickest ways to pull them together. Terri was a menace and trying to shut down Glee Club and steal the baby, Puck was actually going along with it so that he’d have a chance of fatherhood, Quinn was contemplating not to give it to Terri because Santana slapped sense into her. When Quinn decided not to give it to Terri, she threw a hissy fit and launched a whole-ass plan to essentially babynap Quinn’s kid.

Ultimately, it was foiled by the combined efforts of Matt, Mike and Parker, though Puck was unaware of the other two’s contribution to the plan. Parker had been the one to break it to the group, and, well… Puck was very angry. It had been a team effort to prevent the plot from happening and Puck from hulking out, but he had forever held a certain hatred in his heart for the enby afterwards.

It wasn’t that Parker didn’t know Puck hated them deep down. They were very aware of it, but for the sake of everybody else, they remained cordial with Puck and for the most part, he interacted normally with them. But sometimes, it shows. It was all mostly one-sided negative feelings, but something tells Rachel that this little encounter would add a little resentment on Parker’s side towards him.

With Finn, his anger ran deeper and much more personal. If he didn’t find out the baby was his, Puck would have essentially ruined his life with a baby that wasn’t even his in his care. But even then, Puck actively had sex with his then-girlfriend, which was a strong betrayal to Finn from both of them. Puck was his best friend then, though now Puck had been demoted to… acquaintances, for the lack of a better word. Teammates.

(Regarding Finn and Quinn, it’s mostly hurt that lingers between them. Not anger. He was angry, of course, but a part of him still loves her and couldn’t stay mad. But because of that same part, he couldn’t exactly forgive her either.

It’s different with Quinn. It’s a reminder of what they could have had, not a reminder of who the person he was like with Puck. He says he hates who he was with Puck. But with Quinn? He wants her back sometimes; the ghost of happier times, of innocence.)

Artie is the first to speak, breaking the silence and pulling Rachel out of her thoughts.

“Puck, you better start explaining the sudden bitchiness in chat.”

Santana glowered at Puck, as if trying to bore a hole into his head with her gaze alone. He doesn’t answer. This… frustrates Santana, slamming her hand on the table in front of him.

“Talk, Puckerman.”

Slowly, he looks up at her, glaring. “I’m trying to eat.”

“And I don’t appreciate you telling people to die,” Santana snapped. “Life is hard, we don’t need you to make it harder.”

“You sound just like that dipshit,” Puck grumbled, looking down again. This time, Santana flips his food tray off of the table, letting it clatter onto the floor.

“The hell is your problem? Huh?” Santana gets into his face, jabbing a finger into his chest hard.

“It’s not your problem.” Puck stood abruptly, shoving Santana back down into her seat with Brittany to catch her from falling off. The Latina stared up at Puck for a moment with wide eyes, as if in shock that he would do this, before her eyes narrowed and she stood right back up, Brittany protesting.

Finn was rising in his seat, but someone pulled him back down.

“You push me like that, it now becomes MY problem. You talk to anyone else like that, it becomes MY problem.”

“And what are you going to do? You’re all bark and no bite, Santana. All you do is hide behind your stupid, retarded girlfr-“

SLAP.

Everybody gasped. The cafeteria was silent, everyone holding their breath as Santana smacked Noah Puckerman. Sugar took a video. Kurt’s jaw was hanging open.

“Say that again,” Santana demanded, hand raised in the air to smack him again. “Say that again and I swear to God you’ll be a groundhog— six feet under.”

Puck spat onto her shoes, taking a deep, shaky breath.

And then he lunged.

Finn had smashed the tray over his head though, forcing Puck to turn around. They both fell to the floor as Finn locked Puck in a headlock and Puck tried to grapple his way out of the situation.

The cafeteria burst into chaos, everyone surrounding the two boys, Rachel in shock, Quinn trying to get them both to stop, even as the teachers came in to break the fight apart.

Rachel tried not to look at Santana, who tried to look unfazed that Puck had lunged at her, or at Sam, who was frantically on the phone with someone. She tried not to look at Finn, who was still heaving with deep, angry breaths and growling.

She settled to look at Puck.

All the fight left his body and he simply sagged, deflating like a balloon. He looked tired, as if he didn’t really mean to start the fight in the first place, but he had.

With this she figured out that it wasn’t just the whole strained relationship with Parker that made Puck act this way. He was simply lashing out. Rachel had long figured out that Puck had anger issues, and if he was frustrated or anything, he tended to take it out on the people around him, provoking them into fighting him.

Normally he was fine. What made him angry this time?

Sam flinched when someone brushed past him in the locker room, the football players giving him discreet glares from the corners of their eyes.

He’s fine. He wants to run into the staff bathrooms Will had been kind enough for him and Blaine to use, but he’s fine. He’s gotten used to all the words and hate.

He’s fine. Burt and Carole and the parents have dealt with the problematic teachers and it’s fine. It’s fine. Burt texted him that it was all good, that it was fine, fine, fine. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder for a sneering teacher (except that he didn’t think that he had to look out for one before) on top of looking out for danger.

Absently, he does think about his binder. His ribs were still tender from The Incident and the doctors advised him against participating in strenuous stuff until they gave the all clear.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the parents being escorted out of the building. He ducked behind a locker to avoid their line of sight should they look into the locker room.

None of them did, thank God, but he also noticed with some bitterness that the teacher who sent them all to detention was with them. He scowled a little, stepping out from behind a locker and contemplating on whether to-

Puck was coming into the locker room.

As much as Sam was relatively infuriated at Puck for what happened in the cafeteria, he was pretty surprised that Puck wasn’t suspended for lunging at Santana like that. Then again, Finn had intervened before he managed to touch her. Maybe Puck was let off with a warning. Honestly, they really need to work on the school’s punishment system.

Without a word the punk opened his locker next to Sam’s, ruffling through his stuff even as Sam tensed next to him.

“If you think I’m going to pick a fight with you, relax, I’m not.”

That didn’t help him relax a bit. “Sorry if I can’t tell. You really pissed off a lot of people. None of that was cool.”

“I know.” Puck paused, sounding exhausted. “Jake spammed me to apologize to everybody.”

Sam nodded. Jake’s a good guy. Trying too hard to be like Puck, but too soft to be him. What he did pick up from Puck was his promiscuity and he was damn good at picking up both boys and girls. Better than Puck even. Or maybe it’s because Jake likes to stay in his own age range and that made him more appealing… they never really knew. Not like Puck who went for MILFs and became borderline creepy sometimes.

The younger Puckerman has a good head on his shoulders and sometimes they all wonder if Jake could ever teach Puck something rather than Puck teach him.

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Then?” Sam glanced at Puck and found him staring at his own locker, glaring at it.

“Everyone’s parents coming to school to bail you guys out of trouble. Come on. Stupid.”

“You’re jealous?”

“You all complain about having shit lives but I also have a shit life, so why does it matter? Why do you choose to give? How the hell are you so bad and still get so much?” Puck asked angrily. “I don’t understand. I deserve it too. Me.”

Sam blinked. He wasn’t understanding. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“I want them to suffer like me. I want them to feel the same anger as I do, feel like a piece of shit just like me.” He scowled then sighed. “I still don’t feel any better.”

Sam watched him close his locker.

“Didn’t you say you were trying? That you were sorry?”

“What’s the point of trying when they’ll never actually fully forgive me?”

Sam frowned at that. “Yeah. Going on this way? They really will never forgive you at all. Everybody’s life is hard. You don’t need to put more on everyone’s shoulders. They have a lot on their shoulders because of you. You made it this way. You want to give up? Fine. Give up. Leave them alone. Don’t be part of the group anymore. It would be better for everyone, including you.”

“Shut up.”

“No, the problem with you is that deep down you hold resentment for them because you think they villainized you. Newsflash Puck: we all did horrible things. We just stood up to own it. You didn’t and you’re salty that everyone else has let go of their toxic stuff but you haven’t. Get over it.”

“You-“

“You blame it on the fact that you have a shit life. Well we have shit lives too. You blame it on the fact that you’re alone: you’re not. You just choose to hurt and push them away. Face it, Puck. You’re angry, jealous and unable to move on. You’re not sorry for what you did. You don’t even know what the hell you did wrong.” Sam stepped away from Puck. “You can’t even say that’s not true because deep down, you know it is.”

Puck scoffed. “It’s not like I needed you guys anyways. All you are is a bunch of sissies, pussies, faggots and trannies who need your mommies and daddies to come fight for you. You’re not even a real man.”

Sam flinched hard at that, but he refused to back down. He could feel his breaths coming up short, but it’s not from anxiety.

“It takes one to know one then,” he shot back, and Puck’s arm shot out to pin Sam against the lockers, making him cry out in pain.

Fucking hell his ribs were on FIRE-

“Hey!”

Beiste was shoving Puck off of Sam, who was wheezing, gasping for air like his life depended on it because man had the oxygen supply ever been so tight?

He blacks out.

Mass Friendo Chatto

Jake has removed Puck

Mentally ill kids Chat

daddy issues #2 has removed daddy issues #1

New Directions

Finn has removed Puck

Matt: whats going on

Quinn: he’s on timeout

Quinn: he’ll be added back whenever he improves himself

Matt: yknow i know i was here for babygate and how horrible it was

Matt: but because of that i wish yall wouldnt give him second chances

Parker: they gave me a second chance

Matt: see but youre different, you were actually willing to make a change and you DID change

Matt: puck just,,, spilled the same bad shit every year saying hed change but he just never did

Matt: like, at some point, there’s gotta be an end point

Parker: im literally worse than him and im still here lol

Matt: yea but did you tell people to die or call them slurs?

Parker: ??? never

Matt: you acted with violence to cope, yes, but at the same time you also tried to channel it for good. kinda like batman

Matt: puck,,, just,,, did it to make people hurt as much as he did and he took advantage of second chances to do it

Matt: not justifying that what you did wasnt bad, but puck is just… another level

Matt: and you now is an improvement from you before. you before would have broken pucks nose, arm and kneecap no hesitation

Santana: yeah. im surprised you didnt come after puck

Parker: i was with marley, she was my first priority

Finn: i wanted to beat him up and i would do it again

Quinn: okay calm down finn

Quinn: beating him up doesnt make you any better than him

Rachel: She’s right.

Matt: yeah youd end up just like him

Finn: fine

Finn: only because i dont want to be like him

Kurt: …

Kurt: guys sam is in the medbay puck attacked him

Quinn: he what now?

Alphabet Soup Club

Lesbehonest: so @Binder Dumbass 1 was wearing his binder too long and then puck attacked him which caused him to pass out

Lesbehonest: thats what coach beiste and sam told me

Simp: oh god

Simp: did he say anything to sam?

Lesbehonest: sam said a lot of things that puck didnt like, basically the truth of how he was acting

Lesbehonest: and then puck insulted all of us with a bunch of slurs

Simp: knew it

Simp: one time he called me a f*g in dms after he found out i was gay

Simp: then deleted it saying wrong chat

Gotta Gay: … yup he really is on the shit list

Bowman: i’m going to shoot him full of so many arrows he’ll be a walking pincushion

Simp: egad oliver dont

Simp: lets not stoop to his level yeah

Marls: is it bad that i feel bad for him?

Gotta Gay: marley, dont. he indirectly told you to die

Marls: but hes just angry

Marls: what he needs is help

Marls: it worked for parker didnt it

Bichel: Marley, sweetie, we’re not in the position to help. Puck is… too far gone for us. He needs professional help and some time to think about it. We’re just kids. He also needs to accept help rather than push us away.

Enby God: also marls

Enby God: i still need help. you guys didnt solve everything for me

Enby God: the only reason why im not like puck is simply because im not him. im trying to help myself

Bichel: He just needs to be away from us because he’s hurting us.

Marls: i know, i just feel bad for him

Marls: i dont think hes a bad person, i just think hes very angry and very misguided

Marls: and yall can hate him but i dont

Jakey D: there are times when even i hate puck

Jakey D: marley some of the things he said were really not nice

Marls: like i said, i dont hate him

Marls: but its funny isnt it? a bit ironic?

Marls: he tells me not to be so nice because there’s bad people around when he was right there and im being nice to him now

Under The Sea: i feel like i should give you a call

Rachel Berry @rachelberryofficial

I never thought I’d be intimidated by @thewallflower but when she’s very sardonic it feels like a full 180 from her usual personality.

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@rachelberryofficial god you should see her with us being cynical. she has different types of it

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@smythedbyagod @rachelberryofficial this right now is just hurt cynical. very common

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@rachelberryofficial @smythedbyagod if its fucking sad cynical either me or parker will be having W O R D S with the person who made her sad

Sadbastian @smythedbyagod

@smythedbyagod @rachelberryofficial and no there’s no such thing as angry cynical. there is however, normal cynical or jokey cynical

Rarley Mose @thewallflower

@smythedbyagod @rachelberryofficial why does nobody believe me when i can be cynical??

Queencedes @misscedesjones

@thewallflower @rachelberryofficial @smythedbyagod cause you’re a cinnamon roll and you deserve better than that

“You okay?” Kurt asked, entering the choir room. Blaine hurriedly wiped his eyes, avoiding Kurt’s gaze and focusing on the piano in front of him. “I wanted to check on you since Sam was wearing his binder for a while.”

“You thought I’d do the same?” Blaine asked, trying to joke with Kurt, but faltered when Kurt looked at him with that ‘yup’ look. “I’m not… I’m wearing a sports bra instead of a binder. I had gym today.”

“Are you okay to go to the Valentine’s dance later?” Kurt asked gently. “I can say you’re not feeling good. Brittany will understand.”

“No, no.” Blaine shook his head from the dark memories creeping in. “I’m good.” He interlaced his fingers with Kurt’s. “I’m more than good. Sometimes I think back to when-“ He cut himself off abruptly, closing his eyes and forcing himself to take deep, measured breaths. “- but I’m okay. I get to spend the evening with you. Are you sure it’s okay with you to go? I know people are gonna look at you weird because of the whole detention thing and getting a teacher fired.”

“People actually hated Mr. Neam so it’s okay,” Kurt laughed, waving it off, watching Santana and Brittany come into the room. They were both watching on Santana’s phone.

“In other news, we have yet to apprehend the masked archer vigilante who is being charged on several counts of aggravated murder while setting free several children and teenagers from a group of child traffickers, whose entire ring has fallen thanks to them and the police. Most of the citizens are torn between backing up this hero or condemning them for their heinous actions. Many locals are alleging this vigilante to be 17 year old Parker Maxwell Booker, though it is unconfirmed and unproven by the police.”

“I hate that,” Blaine muttered. “They saved our lives.”

“What proof do they have that it’s them though?” Kurt asked. “You know how good Parker is at covering up their tracks. What do they know?”

“They snapped though.” Blaine stared. “They well and truly snapped. And…”

It all happened so fast.

One moment- and then gone. They were on the ground, eyes unseeing. Blaine wanted to look, almost mesmerized by their expressions, but Parker had turned him away, shaking their head through their mask.

“You don’t want to look. The stares of the dead stay with you forever.”

“I don’t think they meant to kill anybody,” Blaine said softly. “Because it’s not what she would have wanted… and they tried so hard to resist that, but when they found out what they were doing to some of the others… it absolutely broke them.”

Santana and Brittany came to sit next to them and scoffed. “People think it’s Ser Detective. I wonder if that’s what happens if they see a bow and an arrow and kickass parkour and karate skills.”

“What can they do though? Everything is circumstantial evidence at best. Even we don’t know if they were the ones who truly did it and not someone who owed them a favour.”

“I’m not ratting them out,” Blaine mumbled. “I know it was them. I know it was them. But I don’t want to say anything.”

That was the messy thing about this whole case. People know or assume it was Parker, but everyone couldn’t find anything solid to place them at the scene of the crime. All they had was that gut instinct to tell them it was but nothing else.

Hell, they had a full search and interrogation and while Parker didn’t have an alibi that day, Finn didn’t either (though Kurt knew full well that Finn could and would never do a thing). Plus, the police system and justice system in Ohio had a revamp after The Incident, meaning there were moles in there and the murders were more than likely to go cold because of the lack of manpower. Kurt knew that Parker had gained a sympathetic edge to the remaining police officers because if people hadn’t died, the child trafficking ring would have simply been a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Unless Parker stepped up and admitted to the crimes, which was also likely considering they had a guilt complex the size of the fucking ocean. Which is kind of weird when he thinks about the shit they used to pull.

The police weren’t doing anything, on the bottom line. There would be legitimately no legal issues regarding Parker unless they became a masked vigilante again because that was the persona that had legal trouble. The media and half the general population though? They were fucking scared, mad and ready to start burning Parker on a stake.

“Society sucks,” Brittany said simply. “Anyways, are you guys excited for the Valentine’s Day dance?”

“Yeah.”

Lies. Kurt knew it was going to be an absolute shitshow, judging by Santana’s face behind Brittany.

Mass Friendo Chatto

Unique: vOCAL ADRENALINE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF CHILL

Tina: they never have wdym

Sebastian: dude you’re in it and you’re just finding out about this now

Unique: jesse asked me why im taking a break when he said, and i quote

Unique: “you will die one day without accomplishing everything every single minute and that is humanity’s greatest regret that i am trying to fix by eliminating all possibility of sleep and praising our new lord and savior parker booker who has evolved beyond us.”

Kurt: FIRST OF ALL

Kurt: parker is FUCKING GIFTED yeah, but they still need to sleep

Kurt: SECOND

Kurt: DONT INFLATE THEIR EGO

Unique: vocal adrenaline practically worship them

Unique: they called carole the mother of god and shout oh my parker instead of oh my god

Kurt: good god they are T H I R S T I N G

Finn: so is our SCHOOL

Finn: TRUST ME WHOEVER TOLD THEM TO WINK WHENEVER THEY LIFT SOMETHING SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BITCH

Finn: I KNOW IT WAS SOMEBODY IN THIS CHAT

Kurt: ooooh yea i did not want to know what a whole group of cheerleaders sounded like

Rachel: Then again Jesse always thirsted for everyone with big muscles.

Rachel: I know this because he thirsted for Finn too.

Finn: how did i not know this

Finn: wait hes GAY?

Artie: jesse’s a fuckin bi icon wdym

Artie: boi likes his women and men spicy

Santana: berry was just the exception

Rachel: HEY!

Quinn: jesse sounds like he’s running VA ragged

Unique: not really? but he’s super hyper lately

Unique: he just has zero chill

Unique: alanajdndkmxxosnxj

Quinn: ????

Unique: Greetings, it is I, Jesse St. James, gracing you with my presence.

Santana: the meathead is here

Unique: Unique is trying to get her phone back with little to no success.

Kurt: oh-

Sam: wait you know she’s trans?

Unique: But of course! I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t help out a fellow LGBT member!

Unique: Also, who do you think has been supporting her here besides you?

Unique: Me!

Sam: thats nice

Unique: But alas, my journey here in assisting her is short and rough. At the end of this year, I will be graduating, and I can no longer help her. I am moving across the country to LA.

Unique: I am helping her transfer to your school for next year for her safety.

Jake: WHAT

Jake: we need names

Unique: Tut tut, little Puckerman. Brute force is not the answer here. This is a schoolwide matter, as Carmel High is an inherently transphobic place. I am not touched here because I hold power and authority here. But once I go it will be open season and dangerous.

Unique: But your school has you.

Unique: And your school is changing its mindsets slowly but surely because of you, unlike most other schools. It means that with you, she is safer.

Sebastian: ouch?

Unique: I honestly would never put her to Dalton, that would spit on her identity. No offence.

Sebastian: none taken. im just saying i thought our school was pretty safe

Unique: Oh you wouldn’t believe the things I have heard about your school.

Unique: And to be honest, she would be much happier if she were in McKinley. She was never happy here, and she probably never will be. I suppose one flaw I am willing to admit is that while we are vocally superior, we lack the care to make sure our members are in shape mentally or physically.

Artie: the world just ended. jesse admitted a flaw

Finn: are you there god? it’s me, finn

Unique: Tsk. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. I am perfectly capable of admitting flaws.

Tina: he admitted theyre soulless robots who dont care about their members, thats a major feat

Unique: Well… when you put it that way….

Unique: Look. All I’m saying is that she’s not happy here and I can’t stay.

Unique: She’s coming to your school next year and by God I hope I didn’t misjudge you.

Quinn: why are you telling us this

Unique: Because I care.

Rachel: Didn’t seem like it when you went to backstab us in sophmore year.

Unique: Believe it or not, you guys actually taught me how to care.

Unique: Especially you, Rachel.

Unique: Now I have to hand the phone back to Unique, she’s been giving me the cold shoulder for the past few minutes. Ta ta~

Unique: sorry about him guys

Unique: uh surprise?

Jake: im transferring in a bit

Jake: mom said she would try to get me in the same school as puck, to make things easier

Quinn: haha… yea…

Jake: for convenience sake

Jake: anyways what i mean is welcome to the transfer club!!!

Unique: thanks?

Jake: we gotta get marley in here to make it a real club

Tina: Jake Puckerman: Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass

Jake: tina you were the one who said clouds were cotton candy made by gods that were contaminated by the giants living on them because they have bare feet and build stuff on it

Tina: i take it back

Mike: [tina’scottoncandycrisis.vid]

Tina: MIKE I WAS DRUNK

Artie: trollge

Tina: YOU TOO

Santana: this why yall get no bitches

Artie: santana dont even start

Sebastian: me when yall no bitches:

Santana: criminal chipmunk shut the fuck up we know you aint sleepin with anybody at all

Sebastian: well i used to

Santana: get me a time travel machine and maybe ill get used to that idea

Sebastian: bruh

Artie: yoooo she smoked you

Sebastian: im bout to build a bunch of shit to freak out santana and yall cannot stop me

Jake: SEBASTIAN NO YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THE PRANK WARS

Sebastian: evil has been unleashed

Rachel: If you start another prank war I swear to God Sebastian I will have Parker smuggle you into a space rocket bound for the sun with your fingers, toes and tailbone missing.

Sebastian: yes maam sorry maam

Tina: and he cowers!!!

Artie: the mom is here

Mike: F E A R F O R Y O U R L I V E S

Rachel: :)

Hudmel Kids

the braincell: finn

Genius Idiot: ?

the braincell: you DO have something to wear for the thing right?

Genius Idiot: ye? im not an idiot

the braincell: what about you sam

the braincell: burt and carole have tasked me with the impossible chore of getting you both ready

binderman: ummm no

the braincell: wtf why

binderman: i may have lost my suit

the braincell: literally how do you lose a suit

binderman: idk? maybe the washing machine gremlins got it

the braincell: what

the braincell: sam there is no washing machine gremlin

binderman: how do you explain the missing socks???

the braincell: .

the braincell: okay well at least we’re not using suits, we’re not going somewhere too formal

the braincell: but still sam wtf how do you lose a suit

Genius Idiot: bro can u tell me what rachel is wearing? so we can match

the braincell: i will literally select an outfit for you instead because i KNOW SOMEHOW you will not match with rachel no matter how hard you try

Genius Idiot: rood

the braincell: literally not my fault you cant match colours

the braincell: and i’ll pick out your outfit sam because i would have rejected the suit anyways

binderman: aw

the braincell: finally, the last one of all the bitches

the braincell: @Idiot Genius do you need me to dress you up like an overgrown barbie and ken doll yes or no

the braincell: @Idiot Genius

the braincell: @Idiot Genius @Idiot Genius

Genius Idiot: @Idiot Genius

the braincell: if they miss this dance brittany will be very disappointed

the braincell: and i really dont want them coming in in a tattered hoodie pls

Genius Idiot: yeah they should be all dressed up for marley

the braincell: marley or not im still making sure they look nice and presentable at least

binderman: not to be rude but none of us have actually made contact with her ever since finn pinged them in the mass chat

the braincell: sam the window of time for the dance is closing and everyone expects us to be there

Genius Idiot: really?

the braincell: its complicated

the braincell: i didnt wanna tell blaine this but if we (the people in detention) didnt show up

the braincell: we’ll be cowards

Genius Idiot: yknow yall really dont have to care about what they say right

the braincell: finn

the braincell: itll be worse if we didnt show up than if we did

Genius Idiot: why? is there a massive plot to like embarrass you again?

the braincell: i just know in my gut it would be worse if we didnt show up

the braincell: just show up finn

binderman: same

binderman: just show up, we’ll feel better if we’re all there together

the braincell: yeah if i could talk a certain IDIOT GENIUS to respond

Genius Idiot: maybe they’re just busy?

the braincell: remember the time parker stalked a warbler doing sus stuff and then fell out of a tree only to fight with that guy all while texting

binderman: understandable, have a nice day

Genius Idiot: fine, lemme ask around and see whether the others have seen them

Quinn huffed when she saw Sebastian at the Lima Bean, earlier than her. She took a seat opposite him after ordering a latte for herself, listening to the rhythmic drumming of his fingers on the table.

He was the first to speak.

“How’ve you been?”

“Good.”

“Your dad not showing up?” Sebastian asked.

“No.”

“Thank heavens.”

Quinn stared at the ceiling, watching the fluorescent lights flicker and listening to the hum of the lights and drumming fingers and taking a deep inhale of smell coffee.

“Do you think we’ve done something to deserve this?” Quinn asked softly. “Having shit families or having been dealt these cards…”

“The sins of the fathers usually pass down to the children,” Sebastian mumbled, looking down at his cup. “Even when it’s not supposed to be. It just happens.”

“Is it too idealistic for me to not accept that?”

“You either accept it, have the power to change it or die resisting. That’s how it is.”

“Give up, fail or succeed. How optimistic of this world.”

“This world never makes you successful in the first place. Equivalent exchange, for example. For one person to be happy, another must be miserable. Rich people take advantage of the poor. For good to exist there must be bad.” Sebastian fiddled with his cup. “Also there will always be someone who takes joy in suffering.”

“God help us.” Quinn closed her eyes and sighed. “And we keep finding these people.”

Sebastian shrugged, looking down at his cup. “Maybe we’re just unlucky.”

“Maybe. Or it could be some big cosmic joke and we’re the punchline.”

“You know someone said that life doesn’t suck, the people that we let into our life do,” Sebastian piped up suddenly after a small pause. “But that’s kinda bullshit when the people that actually suck are the families we’re born into and don’t exactly let in.”

“You ever wish you were dead during the Incident?” Quinn asked, and Sebastian spun his cup a few times, humming.

Sebastian can’t breathe. He’s drowning.

The murky water bubbled around him in his panic, and no matter what he can’t surface. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t… his lungs were burning, screaming for air. The sound of laughter muffled to his ears, replaced by the sound of his own voice screaming except that nobody could hear him.

He was eventually yanked out of the water and he gasped, spitting out water and coughing them out. He’s only kept upright by the hand gripping his hair, but it dropped him unceremoniously onto the floor.

“This is what you get for being a hero.”

“I’m… not…” he coughed out more water. It tasted metallic and weird and he felt his stomach turn. He resisted the urge to vomit, focusing more on gasping for air like a dying fish. “I’m not a hero.”

“The sooner you obey, the sooner these stop, m’kay, kid?” Again they grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up for him to face a man wearing a ski mask over his head. “Gotta make you all nice and obedient for your masters. And the first thing you gotta do is stop defending that girl.”

“… no.” That earned him another slap to the face, but Sebastian couldn’t help it. Marley was his first friend and he’ll keep her safe.

The man released him, and he dropped to the floor again, breathing slowly steadying. He wondered how Blaine and Sam were doing— and hoped to dear God they weren’t discovered as trans.

He didn’t want to be alone.

“I wonder if you can hold your breath for more than a minute?”

That was all the warning Sebastian got before he was yanked up again, a split second of realizing what was going on and his mouth opened to plead, beg, scream-

Metallic water rushed into his mouth and filled his lungs as he thrashed.

“Multiple times,” Sebastian muttered softly. He wasn’t… he didn’t like sharing what was done to him. What was done to the others. He coughed a little, as if to convince himself he wasn’t back there and drowning and water wasn’t filling his lungs. “You’re dodging.”

“So are you.”

“The Incident is something still very raw to me.” He set down his cup with a startling amount of force. His hand was shaking. “Adrian is a safer topic.”

“I’m wondering what they did to you,” Quinn mumbled.

Sebastian, without a word, hooked a finger to his collar and dragged it down, allowing Quinn to see the start of a brand burned into his collarbone. He released his collar, letting his shirt cover the offending mark.

“Adrian is nothing if he couldn’t get me out,” Sebastian continued. “He’s a possessive psychopathic brother, but he’s useless.”

“At least he cares about you.”

“In all the wrong ways. Except right now, he’s still trying to keep his upstanding citizen reputation up. I bet you ten bucks that if Parker didn’t show up, he would have, had we stayed another week or two.” Sebastian chuckled sadly. “But he would have been too little, too late. We would have been shipped off and sold by then. The max they were going to keep us there was a week. Parker cut it close.”

“Adrian has been leaving you alone, right?”

“He’s keeping his distance,” Sebastian said simply. “He’s never done anything directly to me, but… there is a reason why Marley has been my only friend prior to being in Dalton Academy.”

“I get it. He’s closing the jaws on you.”

“Yeah, like what your dad did? Kind of? I can’t leave yet, because he’s going to find me no matter where I go and somehow convince me to go back. I need to get to the point where I can absolutely support myself when I leave so that he doesn’t yeehaw convince me back.”

“At least my dad’s gone.”

Sebastian snorted. “Your dad is still an asshole though. I’m glad he finally fucked off.”

“To shitty familial connections.” Quinn raised her latte.

“To traumatic experiences!”

They clinked their cups together and took a sip.

“The Valentine’s Day Dance is going to be a shitshow, isn’t it?”

“I’m so glad you’re bringing me along as a date so I can watch it all unfold,” Sebastian smirked.

Quinn just put her head in her hands.

New Directions

Rachel: Someone please tell Santana that shouting, “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” while having a papercut is not the right thing to do.

Santana: berry i will kick your ass you shrill grandma-dressing pinnochio

Mike: vines are ok to shout

Finn: to whoever keeps shipping me and kurt pLEASE STOP WITH THE ‘AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES’ VINE

Finn: yes im talking to you tina

Sam: wait tina ships us?

Quinn: she writes fanfics about us too

Rachel: Creepy and weird. Some of us have actual relationships, Tina!

Tina: sorry

Tina: wait how did you all even know about them

Quinn: you’re not discreet

Artie: yeah you kinda just leave it lying around

Matt: oh yeah i knew she was writing

Matt: i helped her beta read

Mike: MATT?

Finn: im so confused

Blaine: same

Matt: i had my freakout and then eventually i just got desensitized but i do tell tina to get rid of the overly bad ones

Matt: otherwise theyre fine ish i think

Matt: plus tina is kinda improving on story writing when she writes the fanfics so yeah

Blaine: i write and read fanfics and lemme tell you im so confused

Sam: same

Blaine: HEY TINA

Blaine: do we have our own ao3 tag?

Tina: literally buzz off

Tina: i dont show anybody but matt and i made him swear to secrecy

Matt: not really

Tina: shut

Artie: what the FUCK

Finn: ?

Artie: literally never play scrabble with marley

Artie: she will use Big Words like nuanced

Artie: whERE THE FUCK DID ALL THOSE LETTERS COME FROM

Tina: she’s great to play with

Artie: wtftwtf how the fuck do you WIN

Tina: i dont, im very close to though

Tina: i think the only person to beat her is sebastian and thats once

Tina: even parker never has been able to beat her and they lose by 1 or 2 points usually

Artie: tina marley’s points average in the 100s

Artie: we average in the 40s at best

Finn: artie you should see parker playing chess

Artie: .

Artie: now that is a Bad Idea

Artie: they won an online international chess tournament for a REASON

Sam: didnt they sign up for the official online like chess thing before meeting us and got grandmaster

Finn: is this why i always lose within 3 moves

Sam: yes

Kurt: yes

Finn: damn

Artie: all im saying is when did marley get so good in scrabble, tina’s usually the winner

Santana: because of sebastian lmfao

Santana: also where the fuck is ser detective, i need to pass that dumbass their multipurpose tool thing and swiss army knife

Sam: why the fuck do you have their multipurpose tool and swiss army knife

Santana: wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

“Dude, where have you been?” Finn asked, glad he could finally find his unofficial sibling after a while of searching. He looked up at the old tree and shack that was Parker’s ‘secret base’ and watched them stare blankly at a pile of sticks.

“I can’t remember how to start a fire,” they muttered dully, and he noted that their hands were red and raw from rubbing against a stick to have an ember.

“Really?” Finn asked. “All the things to worry about, and you can’t remember how to start a fire? You’ve been missing for a while.”

They still stared at the sticks though, as if not hearing him. He wondered if sometimes their priorities were skewed, sometimes that maybe they focused on the wrong things.

“I should know how to start a fire,” Parker mumbled, poking at the sad fire pit with the stick.

“Why do you need to know?”

“Survival.”

They said it so simply that for a moment Finn stared at them as if they were crazy, before realizing what they were actually saying.

“You don’t have to survive like this anymore, y’know. We’re bros, we stick together. You don’t have to constantly brush up on hermit survival.” He sat down next to them, feeling the need to reassure. “You’re not alone.”

“Sorry if my previous experiences make me not believe that,” Parker snarked, jabbing the fire pit with a bit more force, before sighing. “I went to check on Marley before coming here, and to ask her about the dance.”

Finn made a sound of surprise. “You’re going then?”

They furrowed their brows at him. “What do you take me for? Of course. I need to be there for whatever shitshow comes down.”

“And you’re bringing Marley.”

“I feel better with her around,” Parker said simply, before sighing. “I always do.”

“And you’re worried about her.”

“Of course I’m worried.”

“But you’re also scared we’re going to leave you hence you-“ he waved his hand at the fire pit, “-doing this.”

“Yes, keep up. You do this too.”

Finn sighed, digging into his pocket for the multipurpose tool and swiss army knife Santana had given him when he started his quest to find Parker.

“Here,” he muttered. “You lent these to Santana.”

“More like she demanded them from me. I swear, she’ll be the death of me.”

“You? Nah. Impossible.”

“You just wait.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence, both of them still looking at the fire pit.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” Finn admitted. “You’re like, the first real friend I made. I don’t know about Puck but… you’re ride or die, man. Addicts gotta stay together, am I right?”

A smile graced Parker’s face despite the long pause. “I thought Kurt was your ride or die. He’s your brother.”

“You were my sibling long before him, you know this.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

Finn hummed, throwing an arm around them. “I love you, you know that right?”

“… yeah.” They shared a fist bump. “Love you too, bro.”

“Now c’mon, let’s get ready for the inevitable Kurt meltdown when we dress up wrong.”

“I’m going to purposefully dress up wrong to annoy him.”

“Parker no.”

“Parker yes!”

“You’re NOT wearing a science pun T-shirt to the dance.” Kurt threw a button down at Parker. “Dress up nicer. I swear you make Brittany’s crayon drawings look like fashion models.”

There was an offended gasp from Sam in the other room. “That’s so mean!”

“You’re not any better, Sam!” Kurt hollered back. “You almost wore crocs to Burt and Carole’s wedding! Speaking of, I better not catch you wearing crocs to the dance even though it’s less formal!”

“Fine! I’ll just wear my flip flops!”

Kurt groaned, standing up straight. “You have a perfectly good set of shoes, why wouldn’t you wear those?!”

“I’m gonna wear light-up sketchers!” Finn yelled back.

“You aren’t a walking flashlight!”

“Who says?”

“I should wear sequins instead,” Parker teased, making Kurt groan and throw his hands up into the air.

“I wanted you guys to be at least decent for your girlfriends.”

“She is NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!” Parker yelled back.

“Girlfriend or not, she’s gonna laugh at you if you wear sequins! You cannot pull off sequins!”

“Can I?” Finn asked. “My outfit could use more bling.”

“FINN NO.”

“FINN YES.”

Kurt huffed, but he was smiling. The three knew he was anxious about the dance not just because of what happened, but also because this was impossibly different from the prom dance. So the three of them, in their own chaotic way, were making him jokingly exasperated with their fashion senses.

He knew the only real fashion disaster was Finn, both Sam and Parker could dress themselves reasonably well, except Sam didn’t really have much choices with his limited options and Parker was just… Parker.

He pulled off to text Santana.

Santana-Kurt

Kurt: nervous?

Santana: you have no idea

Kurt: they’re scared of you

Santana: i only had the illusion of power

Kurt: have you been talking to sebastian again

Santana: yes

Santana: you know who theyre really scared of? parker. thats real power

Kurt: please they still respect you

Santana: no they hate me

Santana: big difference

Kurt: no. we’ll have a good time

Santana: convincing me or yourself porcelain

Marley-Parker

Parker: ready to be picked up?

Marley: yes! <3

Finn-Parker

Parker: WHAT DOES <3 MEAN

Sam-Mercedes

Sam: babe, we’re on our way

Mercedes: okay! please keep kurt from having an aneurysm

Sam: duly noted

Finn-Rachel

Finn: brb going to fistfight an asshole

Rachel: Finn no.

Finn: finn no :(

Blaine-Kurt

Blaine: relax i am right here

Kurt: no i just thought of ronan

Blaine: the song?

Kurt: yes

Blaine: you’re thinking of sad stuff to counteract the scary stuff

Blaine: why

Kurt: because i am

Sugar smiled, bounding over to Kurt and jumping on him eagerly, wrapping her arms around him. He tensed at the contact, but awkwardly patted her shoulder.

He wasn’t very tactile with anybody that wasn’t Blaine, she mused. But that was fine. He came and that’s what mattered! Everyone was having a hard time right now but Sugar was sure to help throw a big Valentine’s Day Dance with the help of Brittany.

Quinn was in the corner with Sebastian, discreetly laughing at all the straight couples. Sugar rolled her eyes. Better Sebastian be with Quinn than one of the others in the nerd squad otherwise they’ll talk up a storm and make the punch fountain a literal fountain. He was a mad genius at times, making whatsits and doohickeys and doodads and thingamajigs and whatnots and…

You get the point. (Most of them went to Parker because she made the most out of the thingamabobs.)

God the last time Sugar threw a party with the New Directions the geek club made batarangs and what they called a combination of bat-bombs and Pumpkin bombs.

Needless to say the weather conditions called for fog, fire and a bit of destruction. They all dreaded the day they invent and create Mjolnir or heaven forbid, lightsabers.

She also spied Finn giving a sort of death glare to Azimio, who hadn’t done anything yet. Sugar only really said yet because even she’s sure that he’s gonna pull some shady shit. Brittany and Santana were already at the dance floor, having fun. Sam and Mercedes were dancing, Sam goofing off to make Mercedes laugh. Rachel was unsuccessfully trying to drag Finn’s attention away from Azimio. Tina and Mike joined Brittany and Santana, the four of them dancing.

She did spy Puck coming in a little later than everybody else. He looked conflicted and angry, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Joe, who was standing with Sugar as her platonic date, frowned at the sight of Puck.

“Did he get rejected by Lauren or something?”

“I don’t know but I don’t like his attitude. I want him out.”

“Maybe he won’t cause trouble.”

“Sure, delude yourself.” Parker appeared behind them, handling a red solo cup with chocolate milk in it. How exactly they did that, Sugar had no clue.

“It’s the whole you vs Puck thing man,” Joe shrugged.

“Okay first of all, Puck literally started it. Second, after his recent although abrupt behaviour, I’m on guard. I don’t hate him… I just hate what he does.” They rolled their eyes as they drank. “Look, I tried to be neutral and friendly man. But the only person who can really end this is him because out of both of us, he’s the only one holding any sort of hatred. If he lets that go, the bad blood goes too.”

“Yeah but you being all snippy isn’t good for him either,” Sugar pointed out. “What if something suddenly happened to him to make him act this way?”

“What the hell am I supposed to do? Let him walk all over me? That was exactly the type of thing that let him continue bullying everybody for the past few years. Not to mention, not everybody has fully forgiven him for the bullying he’s done.”

“Yeah but they should be more afraid of you,” Sugar pointed out. “You should be the one they’re hating. Not him.”

Parker looked at her and sighed. “That’s fair, isn’t it? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

With that, they walked away, Joe giving Sugar an admonishing look.

“Don’t say that, you know they don’t deserve the hate, even if what they did was bad.”

“I don’t trust her, why do you?”

“I don’t,” Joe said simply. “But it’s not my place to hate people or judge people. God exists for that. And I think they’re trying, regardless of whether we distrust them or not.”

“They killed people.”

“So did many Christians and Catholic saints, and do we hate or distrust them? No, we don’t. I don’t think it’s fair to anyone.”

“So you’re calling them a saint now?”

“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s we who should let go of our judgement towards them. We were the ones who started hating them when they called us out on our nonsense. Puck probably started his whole feud with Parker because he couldn’t let go that he was in the wrong. You just dislike them because-“

“They’re a coward, a bad person, a danger and a menace!”

Joe shook his head. “Does that look like a menace to you?”

Sugar followed his eyeline and watched Parker and Finn do a mini dance-off using the worst disco moves. Finn was winning somehow. Rachel, Quinn, Sebastian, Marley, Blaine, Kurt, Sam and Mercedes were standing around both of them, filming it.

“They should get consequences for their actions.”

Joe shrugged. “I think they’re already paying it. It doesn’t have to be in the eyes of the law, but one way or another, they already are. I think that’s the real justice.”

Sugar doesn’t answer, instead her gaze falling onto an adult coming through the doors that she doesn’t recognize. “Who the hell’s that?”

Joe startled at the sight of the strange man, who was pushing through the students, clearly searching for somebody.

…

The window shattered and he and Sugar screamed as two black masked men entered the living room- they had to leave, they had to leave NOW-

…

“Excuse me!” Brittany called, pointing at the man. “You! Who are you? I don’t think you’re supposed to be here!” She was on the stage, holding a microphone, having gestured to turn the music off. Santana stood next to Brittany, clearly confused, before her expression morphed into anger.

She plucked Brittany’s microphone out of her hand before the blonde could say anything else.

“Someone get security to get that man ASAP. He’s not welcome here, even if his son is a dickhead. His son’s not the same level of dickhead as he is.”

People were weaving through the crowds to either gawk at Puck or the newcomer. The New Directions were either converging on the man or giving him death glares, despite their rocky relationship with Puck.

“Where is my son?” he yelled, ignoring the glares around him, searching for a particular face in general.

“He isn’t here,” Santana snapped, ignoring the gobsmacked gaze Puck gave her.

“Bullshit.” He looked around again, this time finally spotting his son edging towards the exit again. “There he is!”

Sam broke free of the crowd, using his middle two fingers to curl around the trigger on his palm…

Thwip. Thwip.

“What the hell?!” Mr. Puckerman yelled, swatting at his face, eyes scrunched shut. “What the hell did you spray at me?”

“Wow that actually worked,” Sam muttered in amazement, staring at the webshooters on his wrist with awe before jumping into a Spider-Man crouch. “Hell yeah!”

Sebastian discreetly coughed into his sleeve. “It has a very limited capacity and one spray already half-empties a canister and you fired it into his eyes twice.”

“FUCK!”

“For your information, that was actually mace he sprayed into your eyes,” Parker helpfully supplied. “That’s why it hurts like a little bitch.”

“You stupid-” Mr. Puckerman reached out for them, but Parker folded their arms, allowing Marley to pull them back slightly, before the security officers swarmed the man, dragging him out of the dance.

Sam straightened, fingers ready on the triggers of his webshooters, bouncing lightly on his feet as the teachers also streamed in, asking everyone if they were okay. Kurt gently slung an arm around Blaine, who stayed relatively away from the scuffle. Sebastian remained strong, placing himself between Puck and Mr. Puckerman, but effectively blocking Puck from running away.

“So this is why you’re so mad,” Sebastian hummed, looking back at Puck. “He popped up back in your life. And the whole detention thing reminded him of you and the stress from recently got to you and then knowing we’ll never forgive you and all of that…”

“Shut up, I could have handled that,” Puck growled, but Quinn faced him, scowling.

“Stop making this worse for yourself. Just talk and explain why the hell you’re saying and doing all these suddenly.”

“I’m not going to explain myself,” Puck snarled, shoving Sebastian back with both hands. The Warbler stumbled a little, Sam about to fire the mace at Puck this time and Finn and Parker looked like they were about to march into the fray; Rachel and Marley holding them back respectively.

“A new level of assholery from you, man,” Finn snapped. “We just saved your ass.”

“I didn’t need your help.”

“You were fucking frozen and now you’re pushing everybody away so suddenly,” Quinn interrupted before Puck could continue. “Were you planning to make a scene here too?”

“I had to come.”

Brittany softened a little, acknowledging the fact that he still came even though he didn’t have to and was beefing with everyone so suddenly, which was beginning to unfold as a dad issue and from what Sam told her and everyone else, it reached a sudden breaking point, but Puck was clearly suffering from issues and was purposefully distancing himself from them, maybe he had been doing that for a while. Maybe they were idiots who didn’t see what was going on with Puck until it was too late.

But looking at Santana and the others, Puck said sorry in text, but never really showed it in real life. Sure the others were slowly letting go and the others were beginning to have stable and mature relationships, Puck was this black stain in everyone’s memories, the common denominator in a lot of bad things and he just…

He just didn’t understand the full gravity of what he did wrong and he didn’t have anyone to show him that.

Maybe they didn’t either. But Rachel repeated what she said to Marley to everyone: there was a limit.

“I had to come… and he came, and God, you want to take the moral high ground?” Puck snapped. “But when I do something it’s not nice?”

“Because it isn’t.”

“I realized you all needed a reality check. My dad came last week and every day has been a reminder that my life is shit and nothing is perfect and you all- you all don’t forgive me for shit that has happened years ago! Hell, you forgive Parker for murdering people but not me when all I did was knock up Quinn and push people around!” Puck exclaimed. “That’s bullshit!”

“Hold on are you seriously comparing me to you?” Parker asked, darkly, as the music cut abruptly and everyone was staring at the showdown happening. “Are you seriously minimizing the damage you did to everyone around you?”

“You killed people rescuing the fags!” Puck yelled back. “And yet they all love you!”

“Don’t.” Parker took a deep breath. “Don’t assume that.”

“Yeah and you got away with it because there’s no evidence but we all know better. We all know fucking better. You’re worse than I am but why does everyone hate me?”

“Because I see a therapist,” Parker deadpanned. “And… buddy. A lot of people already hate me. When I say your name, people are going to be like, “who?” which is honestly the most positive reaction I would have gotten in your position.”

“You allowed Terri to try and kidnap Beth,” Quinn protested. “You took my body from me.”

“You said yes!”

“You didn’t have a condom, all you did was say ‘trust me’ as a contraceptive!” Quinn yelled back. “I was stupid, going along with it. I should have known. But I was stupid and insecure and…” She took a deep breath, finally acknowledging the people around her watching. “You preyed on that. And I let you.”

“You threw yourself at me!” Puck yelled. “You didn’t love Finn. You loved the popularity he brought you.”

“I KNOW!” Quinn screamed back, before looking away. “But you took advantage of it anyways too. You’re equally to blame for all this and I-” She took a shuddering breath in and out. “-I have to accept that it’s not solely yours or mine. It’s both of our faults. That doesn’t mean you should minimize what happened!”

“I knocked you up, so what?!”

“My body isn’t going to come back to the way it was anymore, Puck. I can’t have a baby anymore because of the pregnancy with Beth.” Everyone stared at Quinn as she admitted this. “You know I always wanted to be a mother? Have my own children, start my own family? Now I can’t. Not with my own body.” She refused to meet Puck’s gaze. “It’s both of our faults, yes, but I just- you can’t act like nothing has happened, like it was just that. That was our biological kid too, that you allowed to be almost taken away from a good parent.” She shook her head.

Rachel reached out to pull Quinn aside, seeing how she was close to tears. Sebastian watched her go with concern in his eyes, before turning to Puck with a scowl.

“It took Quinn a while to learn that. I’m proud of her,” Santana grinned. “She’d flip-flop between blaming you or herself. No inbetween. Now that I hear that, I’m glad.”

“You guys were just as bad as me.”

“True,” Santana laughed bitterly. “But unlike you, I’m not proud of those things I did. It’s called learning. You should try it, sometime.”

“Shut up, dy-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll smack you,” Parker said darkly.

“Sure, go ahead. Kill me like you did those sleazy dirtbags. I’m no better than them right?” Puck challenged, getting all up in their face. Finn bristled, now that Rachel wasn’t around to hold him back.

“With every word you say, you’re getting closer and closer to their level…” Parker glared at him. “But I won’t. You know why? I’m better than you.”

“Come on!” Puck yelled, shoving Parker back, but unlike Sebastian, they were immovable. Finn grabbed his wrist, hip checking him into a table, the crowd around them parting to allow Puck to fall to the floor ungracefully.

“You won’t even be better if you continue like this. Because sooner or later you will be responsible for someone’s death.” When Puck opened his mouth to retort, Finn barrelled on. “Someone’s suicide. All because you told them they were a fag, they weren’t good enough, they were a dyke, they were a pussy, sissy, tranny, all of the fucking words under the sun. You. Will. Be. Responsible. For. Their. Suicide.”

“You were almost responsible for mine,” Kurt said softly, and everyone turned to him, but he was focused on Blaine’s colourful cast. “I almost killed myself because of the bullying. Because of everything. Because of you.”

“But you’re still alive.”

“I almost wasn’t. And I still want to be dead because of you. That’s not going to go away.” Kurt looked Puck in the eye now. “I never forgave you, never have, never will. Even if you beg for it now, you’ll never get it. Not from me.”

Puck looked up at Finn, horror suddenly setting in on his face. “Finn-“

“Don’t even start.”

“Honestly, you’ve done what I will never do, Puck. I’m surprised. Hate yourself to the point where you hate and hurt everyone you love around you on purpose.” Parker clapped their hands. “Bravo, truly. Now you know what it’s like to have blood on your conscience, knowing that you’ve mentally killed people or would be the cause of people’s deaths even if you didn’t directly have a physical hand in it.”

“You and I are the same, Booker,” Puck spat bitterly.

Parker and Marley shared a look.

“No, we’re not. And it’s not because I get away with consequences- believe me. If the consequences don’t come in the form of the law, you bet your ass they’re going to come back in the form of my trauma. I’m surprised I myself am not dead, but hey. Got to be alive in order for me to continue punishing myself.” Parker paused. “It’s more like I don’t have to be punished because I’ll already punish myself. You do bad things, get the consequences, and then you punish other people for getting consequences or in this case, lack thereof, and the cycle repeats itself. It’s gotta stop. I’ve been dealt a shit hand too, but honestly, we make the most out of it.” Parker took Marley’s hand gently. “And I hate to be that guy, but I don’t let babies get kidnapped by a crazy old lady who started drug addictions with kids, have said kids arrested with no proof, tries to shut down a Glee club via ruining the futures of all the students inside and her own husband’s, manipulates her own husband that she’s pregnant just so he can stay with her and she can continue leeching money off of him all for a chance of fatherhood which was honestly something she was never going to give you.”

Puck swallowed hard.

“I don’t tell people to die or call them slurs no matter how horrible they are. Christ, I don’t hurt people that didn’t do anything wrong. Not that what I’m doing is good either, but hell, morally in my opinion? Miles away from whatever the hell you’re doing.” Parker looked away for a moment, contemplating what to say next. “Your dad’s an ass. But that doesn’t mean you have to be, you know? He’s returning into your life because he’s seeing that you’re becoming like him.” Parker looked at everyone surrounding them, then sighed. “You’re better than me, man. I know you are. Prove it to me, come on. Don’t make me do this.”

I don’t hate you. I hate what you do. Despite all this though, I am angry at you. Very angry.

You’re only still alive because I made a promise.

Puck looked over their shoulder to meet Marley’s eyes, the force behind this, before remembering what he said earlier, to her. She was giving him mercy for what he said. Parker was conveying both their messages in their little speech, the subtle threat from Parker and the overlying message of mercy from Marley. But a hint of honesty from both of them.

Puck swallowed, watching the crowd around them shift uneasily with the speech.

He has a lot to think about.

Parker-Sebastian

Parker: you think i wasnt better than puck?

Sebastian: nightmare again?

Parker: what if there was another way?

Sebastian: maybe, but we have to live with it now

Parker: what if they had families?

Sebastian: they sold people for a living and raped and tortured people

Sebastian: i dont have any sympathy for them

Parker: shouldnt they have faced justice?

Sebastian: you heard it from their big man himself, he was going to pop up again if you shut this junction down without killing him

Parker: what if i let the police deal with it

Sebastian: there were moles in the police

Sebastian: they wouldnt have dealt with it

Parker: what if i told them

Sebastian: couldnt have done that without killing the head honcho or doing unspeakable manipulation to him

Parker: i feel like a monster

Sebastian: you know you saved about a thousand people and kids with what you did right

Sebastian: a lot more people were arrested than died

Parker: people could have lived

Sebastian: if they lived, they would have found a way to do it again

Sebastian: my judgement? they deserved it.

Sebastian: you’re not a monster, you have to remember that

Sebastian: what you did was save us

Sebastian: you did what you had to do

Parker: i know

Parker: but why does it feel so horrible, why did i have to make that choice that people live or die even though they werent even sorry for what they did to people

Sebastian: the fact that you’re questioning if what you did was wrong ever since you’ve ever done it is a sign that you’re not a monster

Sebastian: and i might be looking at this from victim tinted glasses, but im glad you did

Parker: you can sleep a little easier?

Sebastian: a little, but it does make all the difference sometimes

Parker: i just regret taking a life, a potential redemption arc or something

Parker: i had a code yknow

Parker: dont kill was one of them

Parker: sometimes i wish i wasnt gifted so id make normal decisions

Sebastian: you broke that code to save our lives

Parker: and yet it eats me up inside

Parker: that fact makes me feel worse because it implies that i didn’t want you alive in the first place

Parker: i do

Parker: its just that no matter what happened- it would have been you or them

Parker: and honestly, that kind of power is scary

Notes:

The case becomes cold due to lack of evidence, Parker's connections with people both legal and illegal (and definitely because of plot issues)
That is the only time murder is ever done here lmao okay idk what im doing anymore (and yes it is technically murder because while it wasn't premeditated, it was definitely done out of malice and with intent)
and no im not saying that puck > parker or parker > puck, they've both done horrendous things
parker chooses to be better bit by bit (but isn't helped by the whole murdery thing-- they DO have a reason, you'll have to wait and see) but puck is just,,, salty and angry and wants people to hurt just like him to make him feel a little better
the new directions may be a little hypocritical with their beliefs, but most of their dislike and hate for puck stems from his actual personal faults with them. parker never actually hurt them in general, it was the other way around. while parker has hurt people in deals and such in the past, they've done it to help other people mostly in a sort of vigilante like way, though they are learning that maybe that's not a good idea because that makes them not any better than the bad guys they beat up
vs. puck
who thinks that knocking up quinn and forcing people to bully other people for who they are was no big deal and almost drove kurt to suicide before glee started
they've both done horrible things. the main difference between them is intent and wanting to be better for themselves.
parker's smart enough and suffered enough to realize this (meeting and joining glee club was a wake up call) but puck still needs an extra push to become mature enough to acknowledge that hey, maybe this isnt the right way. after all, theyre still kids and people have different speeds to maturity
dont hate puck for this though, nobody deserves that hate
i think the biggest thing to take away from both of them is that parker may have done worse, but they're doing something about it. puck has done something admittedly kinda normal for teens, but refuses to do anything about it. so theyre kinda on the same level here.
(also the whole quinn, finn and puck thing is worthy of another chapter)
what do yall think?

Notes:

*screams*
there is no plot i think
i dont know what this is.
leave comments if you dare
also no parker and finn are not actually siblings they just act like they are

Series this work belongs to:

← Previous Work Part 19 of Parker's Stories

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midnightrain26 on Chapter 3 Thu 03 Mar 2022 05:39PM UTC

this is so good, waiting on the edge of my seat for the next update

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phothisisnotit on Chapter 4 Sat 06 Jan 2024 01:32AM UTC

nawww duuude, more brittana, more brittanaaa

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