Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In retrospect, the fault should fall on the vendor who sold him the knife in the first place, or at least, that’s what Izuku thought when that stereotypical detective guy started berating him for all that had happened. 

How was he supposed to know shoving that pointy stick at someone = hurt?

He was a simple small child who didn't know better about the world. 

“Kid” That’s right, detective, he was a kid. “What’s your name? I need to call your parents”

Now that’s a much more scary prospect, it would include several favors he’s not really in the mood to owe. “I have no name” he answered, the detective sighed as if he could see the lie. “Alright, what’s your quirk then?”

Izuku smiled “I have no quirk either” the man sighed once again and grabbed a cup of coffee. “How old are you?”

“Strangely sir, I have no age either”

“I’ll just guess you are 7 then”

“HEY! I’M ALMOST TEN!”

The man grinned, Izuku looked at the side, not that the detective could follow his gaze, since he was wearing sunglasses “I mean… No. I wish i was almost ten, seven is fine, I guess, I always wished for an age…” 

“I suppose you always wished for a name too”

He nodded “Yes, it’s a life long dream to gain a name”

“Alright. I’ll you call you little demon child”

“If I had any knowledge of the world I would think that’s offensive”

“But you don't” 

“Nope” 

“Of course not” the detective sighed again “Well, I suppose we have no choice”

“Yeah” 

“We will have to arrest you” “You’ll have to let me go” they said at the same time

They looked at each other, the detective blinked first, Izuku smiled at the small victory. 

“Kid.”

“I could be an old man trapped in this body sir, we don't know” 

“Kid, just work with me here a little, why did you stab them?” 

“Strangely I have no recollection of anything that has happened in my small life.. sir.” 

“Problem child?” A new voice entered the fray. Izuku looked at the person behind the voice and looked back at the detective 

“Are they a villain?” 

“Problem child, what are you doing here?” 

“You know him, Raser?” 

"Unfortunately."

“He is lying, he can’t know me If I don't even know myself” 

“Alright Raser, sit” 

Eraserhead rolled his eyes but complied, as he sat down he put a hand on the kid’s head, he had two reasons for such: one, his hair was fluffy, two, to keep him from running away. 

“Now let’s try again, what’s his name?” 

“Problem child.” 

The detective sighed “Raser, no, please, I need an actual name” 

Eraserhead shrugged, the child crossed his arms in a huff. 

“Okay, fine, how do you know each other?”

“Don't remember” “The little shit stole my coffee” 

“Wasn't me” 

“And because stealing from me wasn't enough he spat it after taking a sip and wasted it all by throwing in the garbage”

“I didn't do it, obviously, this clearly hobo guy here is lying, but if he was telling the truth I’d say you are supposed to throw shit in the garbage and that is what coffee is, shit, it even has the same color, so obviously the person who did was very wise”

“Why are you even letting this go on Tsukauchi?” 

The detective looked at the clock, at his paperwork and back at Raser “I have a feeling you know why.” 

“If you are really gonna do this and I’m getting dragged, I need coffee” As he said that he got up, grabbed a cup and started the machine

“Sure, alright, next question, where do you live?” 

“Detective, what part of I don't remember anything don’t you get it?” 

“The part where you are a little shit” Raser said coming back with a coffee on hand “now spill” 

Izuku pretended to shudder “Are you gonna track me down and rape me?” He stared directly at Eraser’s scarf “Is that what that is for?” 

Eraserhead pushed the kid’s head down and stared into the detective eyes “Are you sure this is worth it? For the first time in my life I’m starting to think paperwork is not that bad compared to this” 

“Next question, why were you out so late at night?”

Izuku took advantage of the fact that his head was already being pushed down to lay at the table, he yawned “dunno” 

“This is useless” 

“What are you gonna do with this one Tsukauchi?”

“No parents, no name, no age, no memory, we don’t really have any choice do we Raser?” 

“Nope” 

“You’ll have to take him to the system” “I’ll have to adopt him” 

“Wait, what?!” 

-

Ya know, Izuku lived a pretty normal life, he had no parents, no house, most of the days, no food, but it was normal, he managed, he even had some (questionable) friends who occasionally let him sleep inside somewhere warm! 

It was a good life, a normal life, he would probably survive long enough to not care if he died, or became an addict, or a villain. But it was a good life! He swears it was a good life! 

And he was (on most days) a good person! 

He always helped the local gang with, er, stuff. He always provided information for those who asked. 

Ya know. 

Like any good person would do. 

So really, he doesn't know what could have provoked this kind of karma. 

“Alright kid, I don't have two bedrooms because I never really planned for having someone over so I guess we can share the bed since you are small” 

“Or you can sleep on the couch” 

“I’m not sleeping on the couch.. i have back problems..”

“Hey detective, I wasn't the one who decided to bring me here, we could even call this a kidnapping if you will. So why the hell should I share a bed with a strange old man who I don't know, or even take the couch?”

“I’m texting a friend to bring a air mattress”

“That works” 

Later they were eating food, or rather, Tsukauchi was eating, the kid was inhaling it, he isn't even sure if he chewed on it or if he was simply swallowing whole. It made him question whether this kid even had a constant food source.

“What’s up with the sunglasses?” 

The kid shrugged, of course he would, he was still keeping the act even though it was obvious. 

“Kid, my quirk is lie detector, you do know I know you are completely bullshitting everything right?”

“Language detective. I’m still a kid” 

“Sunglasses, what’s up with them?” 

“I have very beautiful eyes and sometimes when people look at them they think they are so pretty they go insane” he said cheerfully. 

For some reason it didn't ping as a lie. Perhaps it was a half truth then? Either way he didn't press for more. 

They both went to sleep after that and even though Tsukauchi put the air mattress in his bedroom so the kid wouldn't escape, the kid still escaped. 

Tsukauchi could only sigh and be worried for the kid’s fate.

Chapter Text

This was a good day. 

Izuku managed to find an overall someone tossed out, it was just slightly damaged which was a tremendous improvement from his last clothes, he sighed as he tossed the pants he wore for years away and put on his trusted jacket above the overall. 

This blue wind cutter jacket was the only piece of clothing he had that he never had to worry about for all these years, he dreaded the day he would be too big for it. Why couldn't his quirk be making clothes always work on him? 

Noo, he had to land the genetic lottery and get something shitty instead. 

He kicked a yellow ball that was in his path, the yellow ball flew away right into a kid’s face. 

He hid in an alley and started climbing the ladder, he wasn't about to be barated by some pissed off mom, no sir. 

“Aren't you a little young to climb a ladder?” 

How dare ye, how dare that chicken faced kid judge him when he was also up on the roof. 

“What are you? A hundred years old? Go take care of your own life”

“For your information” the red chicken said “I’m sixteen” 

“And for your information, I don't care, oldie”

The chicken frowned “Stop calling me old”

“But you are! A big bag of old! An Old Chicken!”

“You are a brat huh”

“And you are old” 

“The name’s Keigo”

“Don’t care” 

“Come ooon” he poked the kid several times “gimme a name” 

“fine, stop! It’s Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaahmmmmmmm” 

“iahm is such a unique name”

“Gimme a second here i need to think of a name”

“How about your real one little hatchling?”

“No! That’s boring! Hmmm call me…”

“I’ll call you nugget if you don’t come up with something in the next four seconds”

“Four seconds?! That’s barely any time to-”

“And that’s up. So, whatcha doin 'on a roof, Nugget?” 

“I’m planning ways to fry a chicken” 

“You are a rude one, ain't ya nugget”

“And you are old… and your nicknames are boring”

“Says you”

“Says me.” 

“I’m gonna be a super cool hero someday ya know”

Nugget snickered “yeah, you and half the world”

“What about you?”

He leaned on the ledge “I’m gonna survive”

“That’s depressing for a kid” 

The kid suddenly jumped, Keigo was a little less judgy and a little more desperate now “wAIt KID! That isn't surviving! It’s the opposite!” 

But when he looked down there was no body, there was no nugget either. 

Just an empty street. 

-

Still, it was a good day, he had a new overall, he managed to make that move he had been trying for ages without severely hurting himself this time AND he even got an apple from a random passerby! 

That means he had food! And clothes! 

But then it was raining so the day wasn't good anymore. 

It was shitty. 

He needed somewhere to hide from the rain.. 

He also needed somewhere to stay the night… Somewhere safe because his last sleeping spot had been, he sighed, cleaned up by the heroes. 

Damn heroes ruining his sleeping spot. 

But the sleeping part he would only need to worry later, much later, for now…. He looked at the sky, for now he had bigger priorities. 

“Alright!” he said to no one. 

that place doesn't like me, that one kicked me out last time i went there, that one has the people who look at me like i have all the diseases with me, that one is closed, that one is a park, silly me, it doesn't have a roof. that one has a chicken on it and chickens are evil, that on- “OI, NUGGET HEAD” 

He would argue, he was actually a broccoli head, but that wouldn't make it better. 

“No.” he turned away and started power walking 

“Come ooon, I just want to talk!” the chicken was too fast! 

“Leave me alone! I just want to find a hole and try to be dry” 

“Hmmm, I know a hole”

“I don't trust your holes” 

“nuggeeeet”

“chickeeeen… see, i can be obnoxious too”

“You are the original obnoxious”

The rain started to become more heavy, before he could protest the chicken had picked him up and started flying somewhere. 

-

Okay, this was a good day. 

Chicken’s place was warm and he could take a shower after several weeks. 

Chicken also had food.

Disgusting food, but food. 

Nevermind he wasn't that desperate “I’m not eating this shit”

“Language, you are a kid”

“It’s trash”

“It’s food, it has all the necessary nutrients” 

“This is garbage, even the detective’s food was better than this”

“What detective?”

“Honestly chicken, how dare you kidnap me here if you weren't going to at least gimme something decent to ea-”

“Yo, nugget, shut up for a sec”

“Don't ‘shut up’ me”

“No, for realz” 

He looked scared so Izuku simply looked away. 

Then out of nowhere the chicken was shoving him inside a closet and telling him to not make a sound. 

During his time inside that closet Izuku was left to wonder what life is like outside the closet. 

It didn't look so bright on Chickens side if the yelling and whip sounds were any indication. 

When the chicken opened the closet for him, he looked broken. “Are you alright chicken?” 

The broken expression morphed into a happy one like nothing had happened “Yeah! I’m great, wanna watch something while the rain is still up?” 

“...sure”

“Oh great! I have several movies here!”

“That’s cool, I haven't watched anything… ever..” 

“That sucks, imma be your movie teacher as of now”

And although Izuku never agreed, every sunday, no matter where he was, he was kidnapped by the chicken to watch movies. 

It wasn't that he didn't like it. 

It was more that he was starting to like it a bit toooo much and that only ever led to bad things happening. 

“So little hatchling, I got a feeling you are gonna LOVE this one today” 

“Izuku”

“Huh?”

“My name” he said, not making any eye contact

“Oh, alright, anyway, so, this movie!” 

But for now it was going to be fine. 

He has a big brother now. 

Keigo curled up his wind protectively as Nugget slept cuddling him. The kid giggled in his sleep. 

He sort of wished he could keep him forever. 

But that was stupid, and Keigo wasn't stupid… He was a hawk. 

And hawks are smart and don't have any weaknesses.

Chapter Text

Someone once said in passing: having a routine can be good to keep a healthy mind. 

Izuku had nothing better to do so one day he decided to start a routine. He had declared that whatever happened that day, he would do it everyday. 

So, as one needs to do to start the day, he woke up. To start his routine he decided he needed to eat, something not so easy to do, well since he wanted a routine now he went to the same dumpster he went yesterday and started to dive, restaurants really threw so much away. Well, he wasn't complaining, it was better for him anyway. 

Then he was thinking while laying down on a rooftop what he could do next when he suddenly found some lost money on his pants. With this new found money he could do things, things that he normally couldn't, like eating stuff that didn't come from the garbage, so instead of doing that he went to the movies. 

The movie was great! He loved superhero movies, and Barvel did not disappoint! He sort of wondered if Tapeman was based on a real hero.. It wasn't hard to find that out if he truly wanted to… 

A part of his mind argued that if he found out it would ruin the fun of the whole Tapeverse so he decided he didn't need to know. Probably for the best anyway.. 

Oh right, his routine! So, after he left the movie he decided to run around, maybe gain some muscle mass? YEah, that would probably help eventually. 

He took exactly one step and was kidnapped. Well. Shit. He would have to do this everyday? No thank you. 

His kidnappers took him to a warehouse. They talked and talked and talked about something. Izuku wasn't sure, he wasn't paying attention. He only started to pay attention when one of the idiots took off his sunglasses. 

He watched as they killed each other and sighed. 

One of them could at least have let him go from the ropes, honestly, it wasn't too much to ask. 

He fell asleep in that chair, when he woke up he was wearing his glasses again and a familiar idiot was standing in front of him looking smug. He tilted his head bored “Are you gonna let me out or nah?” 

“It amazes me”

“What does”

“How you keep finding yourself in these kinds of quests”

“They aren't quests. They are dumb shit”

“It could be avoided if you properly joined us”

“This talk again?”

“We could do so much Izuku, if you became my player two” 

“Shiiiiggyyyy, I’m bored, your speech never changes, let me go or let me sleep, I’m not having this talk again, if ya wanna convince me at least try a little harder”

“Society failed you Izuku”

“Yeah yeah”

“Look at yourself” He chuckled “You are what? Ten? And already have a higher body count than me. It’s bullshit isn't it? I bet if people hadn't thrown you away someone could have built something to block your quirk, or you could have learned to control it, but instead you are just like me” 

Izuku rolled his eyes 

“You are thinner than last time I saw you” 

"what 's this? Are you concerned? When did you become my mom?”

“Shut up brat, I need to take care of my party members” 

“We aren't-” he sighed “You know what, whatever, are you gonna dust this rope or not?” 

“Oh, right” he did that

Once Izuku was out he took his sunglasses off and stared right into Shigaraki’s soul. The shitstain smiled, Izuku huffed. 

“Still doesn't work on me” 

“I hate you” 

“I still think it’s fate”

“It just means you are already insane Shigaraki” 

Suddenly he was being hugged, ugh, “no. get off, stop” 

“It means we are fated Zuzu” 

“Noooooo” 

-

Kurogiri was the better person. Kurogiri actually fed him and let him sleep. 

He liked Kurogiri. 

“Man, how the hell did an angel like you end up taking care of that gremlin?” He asked the misty man

Instead of answering Kurogiri ruffled his hair. Izuku could swear his eyes were saying he was also a gremlin he was taking care of. 

But obviously that couldn't be true. Izuku was a saint. 

-

On day two he tried to do things again without the being kidnapped part, it did not work. 

Not because he couldn't follow. 

Well, he couldn't but that wasn't the only reason, it was also because it was sunday. 

And on Sundays he was always kidnapped by the chicken for movie marathons, well, two birds one stone but... 

After a day and a half of following this routine he wanted to find that car looking person and kick them in the groin. 

Routines were curses, curses made by corporations to control humans. 

His movies marathons and kidnap were special because they only happened once a week, now that a similar situation had happened two days in a row he was feeling bored. 

He didn't like feeling bored.

“What’s wrong nugget?” 

“Chicken.. Do you ever feel like setting a building on fire just to see what happens?” 

“...............................Yes.” 

Izuku nodded and they went back to watching the movie. 

Next day a few heroes' agencies mysteriously caught on fire. 

One of them being Endeavor’s. 

He didn't know yet, but a certain fire bender was in the lookout for him.

Chapter Text

“Pshh, hey kid” Someone called him(?) he isn't sure if he’s the kid being called, he wasn't paying attention to the world. “yeah, you kid” 

It wasn't smart moving towards a sketchy person who called him like one would do to a pet, however, he had no preservation skills and was extremely bored. 

“Want some drugs?”  

That was straightforward, way too straightforward , no murder attempt, no robbing attempt no rape attempt.. Was this really just a kind soul offering a kid some drugs? 

“You look like you need som” the person added as if that would explain the sudden care. 

There is something wrong with the world, or maybe just Izuku, because he was actually considering this.

“Come on brat, I don't have all day” 

“But it’s night” 

The person rolled their eyes “Do you want ‘em or not?”

“Uh. Sure” 

“Oh goodie, this makes things easier” 

Before he could even blink the sketchy person was injecting something on his neck and he was falling down. From an outsider’s perspective, it might have looked like he was spasming and dying a bit while being shoved on a truck. 

For him, he had just arrived on candyland, Shiggy was singing about love and the stars were faces he sort of recognized but wished he didn't.

“whyy izu whyy, why you must ignore me completely? whyyy izu whyyy, why must you be independent?!”

“I don't know what to say…”

“whyyyy izu whyyyy??? Can’t you see I just want your attention?” 

“I don't think that’s true..” 

“IIIIIIIIIIIIII JUST WAAAAAAAANTED SOME LOOVE”

“Waht”

“AND NOW MY FAMILY IS DEAD AND SO IS YOURS” 

Izuku eyed the stars “I don't like where this is going..” 

Suddenly chicken appeared, he was tap dancing. 

“Youuuu rely on others but not on me” 

“You are like my age” 

“AND I JUST WANT US TO BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE” 

“That’s literally the opposite of what you can give me. Ugh why am I even arguing with you? You are just a hallucination” 

Everything started turning, the stars started screaming (as the chorus) “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BUT WHY MUST YOU TREAT US LIKE THIS?” 

“stop”

“ALL WE EVER DID. WAS TO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU” 

“Stooooop” 

“BUT YOU ONLY LEFT US FOR DEAD” 

“shut upppp” 

“DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD”

“SHUT UP” he shut his eyes and screamed. 

When he opened them again he was in a dark place tied up, without his glasses and there appeared to be a table and some other chair in front of him. 

He didn't panic because this was a normal occurrence for him, instead he sighed, turned to the glass window that was obviously fake and asked “Can I have some food? Or water?”

There was no answer but a while later someone appeared in a misty cloud with water and food for him, someone who didn't have eyes. “That’s a cool quirk you have there.. Teleportation right? Was it a mutation that made you blind or something else?” 

Instead of answering, the person shoved food in his mouth.  

Rude.

“Can I ask you a question?” he said after being fed “What am I doing here?” 

Instead of answering the guy teleported away. 

Extremely rude. 

Next he knew there was a person being teleported along with blind guy, the person was crying and begging for release. Instead of being released blind guy took the thing covering their eyes off. The person stared at Izuku’s eyes while he stared back bored. “If it was this kind of shit, you could have at least paid me..” 

The person started giggling, they threw a punch at blind guy’s direction but he teleported away leaving only Izuku and them. 

Without a target the person banged their own head on the table until they died. 

How lovely. 

More trauma. 

Yay him. 

-

Around seven hours and several victims later Shiggy appeared with his usual smug smile, it was his signature smile of Izuku being in this type of situation. 

“This is the third time this week” 

“I have a gift” 

“I’m guessing your body count just got bigger” 

“And I wasn't even paid for it, I wished I was paid. At least the trauma would have been worth it.” 

“Psh, Kurogiri once said trauma is never worth it” 

“He obviously has none.. Well, i mean, besides raising you of course” 

“Anyway, wanna grab a bite? My treat” 

“Can I raincheck on that? I was fed by them so I’m not starving today” 

“You do know Kurogiri will always feed you if you show up right?” 

“Yeah but then I’ll have to deal with you..” 

“You’d rather sTArve?” 

“Yeap” 

“I’m hurt” 

“You are incapable of feeling hurt” 

“pff, i hate you so much sometimes you little shit”

“And yet you haven't killed me” 

“That’s because we are fated” 

“This shit again?!” 

-

In hindsight, he should have done this at night. But nights were dark and badly illuminated, so he wouldn't have really been able to see his art. 

“Detective, we meet again” 

The detective looked worried, that was odd. Why would anyone worry for his well being? “Kid” he sighed “Why on earth would you do graffiti on Sir Nighteye’s agency in the middle of the day?” 

“I don't know what you are talking about” 

“You are covered in paint and we caught you on flagrant” 

“Crazy how life is sometimes right? Sometimes you just lose your memories over the tiniest of things. Sometimes you don’t remember your own name. It’s crazy.” 

“Ah, so you remembered your name?” 

“Psh, of course not! But there has been a crazy chicken calling me nugget for a while so I suppose that could be it” 

There was so much to unpack from that sentence but Tsukauchi was more worried about the fact that a part of it rang true. 

“I’m not going to arrest you, I sincerely just want to understand why you would do that” 

The boy seemed to consider his words for a few seconds. When he deemed them trustworthy enough he answered “For a man who calls himself NightEYE, there was a certain lack of EYES on his agency walls. I was just fixing that problem for him” 

“Alright” 

“Alright?” 

“Yep. Alright. You made lovely paintings, I’m sure if you had done it legally it could have been a great improvement on his agency” 

Izuku frowned confused “You are not gonna say it’s a stupid reason and shit?” 

“No. I will however try to convince you to come home with me again, I have food, I bought you some clothes and now I have an actual bed you can sleep on” 

“...” This made absolutely no sense. “What do you want from me?” 

“To see you safe” 

Baffling.

"Do you have cake?" 

"I can buy some?" 

"Lead the way detective"

Chapter Text

Staying with the detective wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, granted, it wasn't good either. 

It felt like the dude was projecting some sort of son on him. 

Because there was no way people just casually walked in on a stranger eating all your grapes in the middle of the night and laughed if they were normal. 

And parents weren't normal, that’s why he guessed that was what was happening here.

“I have no wish of being adopted” He quickly said the first chance he got, which was that very moment he was caught eating said grapes. 

Tsukauchi smiled “Alright, I can adopt you” 

“No, I literally just said the opposite” 

“Yeah, but you lied.” 

Fuck damnit! See, it was awful living with a man who could see through your bullshit! How could he live like this??? He couldn't. He just couldn't. 

“I already have a family” he tried again, believing really hard that at that moment Tomura was family. 

“That’s not a problem I can adopt whoever they are too” 

“Hah! I’d like to see you try!” 

“Okay, I’ll try then” 

“No wait” 

“I’m going back to bed now, good night son” 

“Noooooo” 

-

“Good morning son!”

“Stop calling me that, I hate it” 

“I’ll keep calling you that then” 

“Nooooo” 

-

“I was thinking we should buy you some clothes since you’ll be staying here forever, I did get a few for you but you should choose for yourself” 

“Who says I will” 

“You lie every time you talk about wanting to leave” 

“I never lie, I’m incapable of lying” 

Tsukauchi raised an eyebrow 

“I hate you” 

He smiled “Glad to see you like me” 

“GAAH” 

-

“CHICKEEEN!” 

“NUGGET!!” 

“YOU HAVE COME TO SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRENDOUS HOUSE! I WAS KIDNAPPED CHICKEN! AND HE’S KEEPING ME HERE WITH BRIBES AND OFFERING THINGS I CAN’T REFUSE!” 

Chicken laughed, Tsukauchi was extremely confused by how the teenager had gotten into his house and who he was but anyway.  

“Hmm, I see I see, well, I hope he knows that sundays are mine” 

“He doesn't” 

“Oh cool. Anyway” he picked Izuku up and jumped out of the window. Tsukauchi ran after them but he couldn't jump off his window, he wasn't suicidal “I’LL BRING HIM BACK TOMORROW!” Chicken yelled from the skies while Izuku giggled 

So this was the other kid he had to adopt huh?

Aight. No problem. 

-

Aight, a lot of problems. 

Just who is this kid? 

Why is every single information on him classified? 

This was so sketchy. Extremely sketchy. He needed more information.. Should he..? 

He would regret this wouldn't he? 

“Hey Yagi, I need a favor, could you give me Nedzu’s number?” 

[W-Why would you want such a thing?] 

“Just gimme, I’ll explain later if you pass by the house” 

[There is a rule regarding giving Nedzu’s number to people Tsuki, it involves not giving unless there is a extremely good reason] 

“ aah for fuck’s sake . I don’t wanna say it through the phone. Are you busy?” 

[Uhhhh] he heard a lot of people yelling and a big woosh sound [Not anymore! Where can we meet?]

“Just come to my house, I can’t leave right now” 

[Is there something wrong?] 

Tsukauchi watched as the kid ate literally everything he could eat 

“No, no problem, just bring something for us to eat” 

“A cake!” The kid yelled 

“Yeah, like a cake, I’ll make coffee” 

“Coffee is trash!” the kid yelled “Make some hot cocoa for me please!” 

“Aight” 

[Whose voice was that?] 

“Uhh, you’ll see” 

[That’s ominous] 

“yeP” he hung up 

Several minutes later Yagi Toshinori was knocking on the apartment door with cake and bread in his hands. 

“Comin!” Tsukauchi yelled 

The door opened. One one side, tiny (but not so tiny) All Might looking as healthy as ever (and that’s not even sarcastic) on the other, a detective that had seen better days and looked like he was on the verge of alcoholism. 

“You look well!” Yagi said with a big smile. 

“Thanks. Anyway come in” 

As Yagi did, he noticed how Tsukauchi’s living room was a mess. Not only there was several papers that looked like some case but there was also a child wearing sunglasses and surrounded by pillows - it was basically a pillow fort except it didn't look like a fort, it looked more like a cave - staring intensely at an ipad screen as if he stopped looking, the world would explode. 

“Hello. I’m Yagi!” he said in an attempt to make contact with the being. 

“Ya weird” The kid answered “What’s up with your hair? You trying to copy All Might?” 

“uhhh” 

“It didn't work on All Might buddy, it also doesn't work on you” 

Tsukauchi had to stifle a laugh. 

“Who is this Tsuki?” 

The kid had stars in his eyes (not that they could see that, given the sunglasses but anyway) “He calls you TsuKI?? That’s hilarious I’m calling you that from now on” 

“Ah, this is demon child, I’m taking care of him for the time being” 

“Were you threatened?” 

“No?” 

“I see.. What’s your name young man?” 

“ young man? What are you a hundred years old? Who talks like that?” 

“Haha” 

“It wasn't a joke All Might wannabe”

“Er” 

Izuku rolled his eyes and tossed the tablet away “Tsuki I’m bored again” 

“People say talking about yourself can-” 

“Uuuuugh” he grabbed the closest pillow and let the cave fall on him. 

“Uh, anyway, the reason I need Nedzu’s number is that I’m trying to find information on another kid but everything seems to be classified for some reason” 

“If it’s classified there must be a good reason.. No?” 

“No.” Izuku provided from the cave

“Oh” 

“I’m feeling all kinds of red flags all over that kid so I need to figure out what’s the deal” 

“Gee Tsuki, you met chicken for like five minutes” 

“Yes. And that was enough” 

“May I assist in this investigation?” 

“No offense Yagi but no. If I do require your help tho, I’ll call” 

“Okay!” 

“Are you gonna give me the number or not?” 

“Oh, yes! Here it is, just sent it to you” 

“Thanks, can you keep him busy while I do this?”

“Uh” 

“Just let him make fun of you, it will keep him distracted enough” 

But it hurts my feelings… he thought. “Alright!” 

“Hello little one” he said sitting down in front of the pillows

His head was the only thing that peaked out from the pillow mountain “I’m not little” 

“Hmm, really? From my perspective you only have a head, so yes. Little” 

“That’s stupid of course I have a body”

“We can never tell in these times of quirks” 

“I guess that’s fair.. I met a guy once whose head was on his belly and he was floating in a kind of tank” 

“Isn't that from Barvel?” 

“Hmm” the body emerged from the pillows “You are a man of culture I see”  

“So you do have a body” 

“Duh”

“Well, what do you like to do?” 

“Those two things don't have a connection?” 

“Yes they do, I’m learning about you” 

“Why would you do that?” 

“Because Tsukauchi is taking care of you, which means we will see each other a lot” 

Izuku tilted his head “Are you two dating?” 

“No?” 

“Why was that phrased as a question?” 

“Uh” 

“So you are dating then?” 

“No.” 

“But you want to?” 

“I want to learn more about you” 

“You are reflecting the conversation but I’ll indulge. I like watching movies”

“So do I!” 

“But I only watch the ones with quality! None of those shitty things” 

“ really?”

“Yep! Chicken has said multiple times that my taste has no match!” 

“What’s your favorite?” 

“Hmmmm, nope, too hard, ask me something else” 

“Alright, what’s your name then?” 

“I don't like giving my name to people” 

“Why is that?” 

“I gave it once and then he abused it too much. So annoying” 

“He?” 

“Yep” 

“Is there anything I can call you by then?” 

“Hmmm, Chicken calls me Nugget” 

“Okay” 

“Yagi, come here!” Tsuki called. 

Izuku watched as the man went like a puppy. 

Yep. 

They be fuckin. 

He nodded to himself and got up to steal some cake, once he ate it he plopped back down his pillow heaven and fell asleep. 

Pillows were life.

Chapter Text

When Tomura tracked Izuku’s signal he did not expect a normal apartment house. 

He also didn't expect a responsible adult to be having a yelling match with Izuku about going to school. They were both allergic to responsible adults so it was odd seeing him with one. 

“This is new” he said, calling their attention. Immediately Izuku frowned upon seeing him. 

“You are late” 

He shrugged and let himself in the small apartment. 

“Who are you?” The adult put himself in front of Izuku like he was protecting him. Cute “Who is this?” 

“A nuisance” 

“Don't call me nuisance Izu, I know you love me” 

Tsukauchi at the moment smiled so bright Tomura thought he was going to somehow die from it. He turned to Izuku “Your name’s Izu?” 

Izuku stared at Shigaraki like he was going to kill him. Tomura liked that face on him. He was ecstatic “It’s not” 

As if it was possible the man smiled even brighter “Izu! Hah, it matches you.” 

“Ughhhh” he grabbed the nearest pillow and tossed at the man 

“Izu Tsukauchi, I can already see it” 

“Oi, what’s he talking about?” Shiggy walked forward “If you are taking last names it should be mine” 

“I’m not taking anything! he’s I- Ughhhhh Shiggy why did you say my name??? We’ve talked about this!”  

“I like your name” he walked forward again and grabbed Izuku’s hands with five fingers “It suits you and it matches mine” 

“How in hell do they match??” 

“Fine they don't, they just sound nice together, like we are-”

“Don't fucking finish that sentance” 

Tomura smiled and hugged him “Mine mine mine”  

Tsukauchi, the traitor. Was taking pictures “Does this amuse you?” He asked deadpanning while Shigaraki literally clinged on him like a koala “He’s a villain ya know” 

That. That made Tsukauchi tense up. 

“So are you Zuzu” 

“He doesn't need to know that” He said, groaning “Aight I’ve entertained this enough, are we going or what?” 

“Going?”

“YEs! Let’s goo! This is gonna be the best birthday you ever had Zuzu!” As he said that a portal opened behind them and they walked in leaving a stunned Tsukauchi behind. 

Villains? 

But they were just kids. 

No way there are villains. Lost? Definitely. 

Maybe he should get Eraserhead on the case.. And a new house. This was too small for four people. 

-

“Aight, what have you got for us today? I hope you plan on giving me cake. I really love cake.” 

“Just trust me” 

“No. Trusting you always somehow ends in someone dying” 

“Have I ever let you down?” 

“Multiple times.” 

“gimme one example” 

“Everytime you breath” 

“And yet you still called me to celebrate your birthday”

“Don't get full of yourself. You are just the only one who knows”

“You could have told that dude, who was him by the way?” 

“Just some detective that decided I’m his charity case.” 

“Police?” 

“Yep” 

Shiggy stopped walking, causing Izuku to also stop since his hand was being held hostage. 

“Does he take work home?” 

“Only all the time” 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

“No. Because I’m not a fucking psychopath” 

“Yeah you know exactly what I’m thinking” 

Izuku groaned “I’m not stealing information for you” 

“Come onnn it would be so easy! You are right there!” 

“He’s feeding me, he’s housing me.. He’s-” 

“I do all that too when you come over!” 

“No. Kuro does that” 

“Come on Zuuu at least consider it!” 

“Fine. I’ll consider it” 

Tomura grinned and side hugged him as they went back to their walk. 

“Fyi if this road leads to any sort of arcade I’ll kill you” 

“Heh, you couldn't even if you tried” 

“Shiggy, please tell me it doesn't” 

“It doesn't it doesn't.” Tomura pouted “I know how to take care of you player two” 

“Whatever. Where even are we?” 

“Heh, don't you recognize this part of town?” 

“No-” he stopped when he realized just where they were. “Shiggy. Why did you bring me here?” 

“I passed by the other day and ya know what I saw?” 

“Shiggy..”

He tugged on his hand and pulled him forward, Izuku almost stumbled to match his speed. 

There, in all it’s glory was his old house. The house everything went to shit. 

“All these years no one is living here” 

“I bet they say is haunted” 

“Probably! Wanna go inside?” 

“What if- What if all my things are still there?” 

“Then you’ll get them back and stop looking like a kicked puppy everytime I put my family on” 

Izuku sighed “I do that because the hands are disgusting.”

“And now you get to have your own!” he said decaying the door  “Or at least something similar” 

The house looked almost exactly like he remembered the last time he saw it. There were still some blood stains (well they were just stains at this point but he knew what they were) on the wood, the furniture was moved around as if there had been a brawl. It wasn't as dusty as he thought it was going to be though, that was weird. 

“Oh” he crouched down and picked up a broken picture frame that had a picture of him, Inko and Hisashi. 

“Is that your mom?”

“Yeah” 

“You gonna take the picture?” 

“...No” 

“Wanna burn the house?” 

“Did you burn your old house?” 

“Nah. I decayed it” 

“should have seen it coming. should have seen it coming. should have-”

Shiggys hand was on his shoulder “If you wanna decay it-” 

“Wanna see my old bedroom?” 

Izuku doesn't think he has ever seen Shiggy smile as brightly as he had at that moment. 

-

“Wow. You were a hero nerd” 

He nodded “I’m willing to bet everything that even you had a hero phase” 

“Too bad I can’t remember much from that time huh?” 

“Indeed” he picked up an All Might figurine and let it dust, let it dust, let it dust. “Ew” 

“Those are expensive, I bet if we sold them we could get a lot of money” 

“Sensei is rich” 

Izuku rolled his eyes “Yes. Have no financial independence. How smart”

“Says the homeless” 

“At least I have independence. Ya know” he said picking up an old toy and tossing it out the window for no reason “If you ditched your sensei . I’d consider joining you” 

“If you promise you’d join, I will. But you won’t” 

“Touche. Welp, this is depressing” 

“Mhm! Well, this was just phase one of my master surprise, obviously!” 

“Next phase better be some cake. I deserve cake, okay?”

“Nope! Cake is the last one!” 

“How many phases are there then?” 

“Three.” He grabbed his phone and texted their location to Kurogiri. 

They went back to the living room because it was better spaced for the portal. 

The portal opened. They walked in. 

Izuku’s red sneakers and green hair was all the Bakugous were able to see before they vanished completely. 

“Mom” Katsuki was trembling “I’m not crazy right? That- That was Izu right?” 

“I-It was” she confirmed

“He- He’s alive. The nerd’s alive” he smiled and cried at the same time “He’s alive! He didn't die! We can still find him! We can-” 

“We can” Mitsuki confirmed “WE CAN!” She yelled. He yelled alongside her. 

Coming back all these years had been worthwhile after all. 

-

“Shiggy. Why the hell are we on a beach?” 

“Sensei said we should come down to watch something” 

“Ya telling me, we could be eating cake right now if not for your sensei wanting to show off?”

“He says he’s gonna kill All Might today” 

“Oh” 

“Yeeee!!” 

“Okay I’m invested now” 

“You just wanna see if your quirk works on him don't you?” 

“Shhh, your sensei arrived” 

As he said that Kurogiri appeared behind them, he should get them out of there if anything happened. Unlike his programming told him to though, he ruffled Izuku’s hair. “Happy birthday Izuku” 

“Thanks Kuro!” 

The shadow’s eyes smiled. 

All Might was quick to arrive making sand fly everywhere. “ALL FOR ONE. THIS ENDS NOW” 

“Hah” All For One laughed “ You are so foolish Yagi.” 

Yagi.. Yagi.. Why was that name familiar? Eh. It was probably nothing. “ here” Tomura whispered “ Kurogiri got us popcorn” 

“ Ooo” 

Several minutes later and they were still taunting each other instead of actually battling. 

“This is dumb” Izuku said feeling frustrated.

Tomura on the other hand was already scratching his neck “Why is he stalling so much? He should just kill him” 

“Patience kids” Kurogiri said, ruffling both their hairs. Tomura batted his hand away while Izuku simply allowed him. “Master is always ten steps ahead. If he decided to taunt him instead of directly fighting him there must be a reason” 

“Well I’m getting bored” Izuku said dissing all the logic “Imma do it” 

“YEES!” Tomura cheered as Izuku took his glasses off. 

Kurogiri wasn't fast enough to stop him. So he resigned himself to sighing and eating the popcorn. What else could he do? 

All Might like a barbaric man without any control charged forward. All For One smiled and shot their general direction a thumbs up. Izuku scoffed. Why is he even trying to pretend this was planned? It pissed him off. 

So of course he shifted his gaze to All For One and watched as the man lost all sense of logic. 

“You were right Tomura. This is fun!” 

“I'm also right on another thing ya know” 

“Don’t say it” 

“It’s NOT because I’m insane that it doesn't work!” he hugged Izuku “we really ARE fated!” 

“UGHHHHH”

Chapter Text

What happens when two people are way too strong and lose all senses? Well. All senses except one, a tiny one. Almost insignificant in daily life: kill.  

Putting in simple words, a lot of collateral damage is done, a few buildings are knocked out, the sea life won't ever recover again.. That sort of thing. 

Putting in a few more words, two grown men end up on the brink of death in a pathetic fight. 

“Is that the sensei you admire so much?” Izuku asked, pointing accusingly as the man chokes on sand. 

“At least he’s doing better than All Might” Tomura says as they watch All For One rip out All Might’s organs with his bare hands. 

“He’s going to eat them” 

“What?” 

There was All For One eating the goddamn lung All Might had just lost. Unknown to them both One For All decided to take on a little trip after that.  

“That’s disgusting” 

“Says the one who wears hands all over himself” 

Tomura grabbed Izuku’s hand “Yours would make a fine addition to my collection.” He kissed his fingers “I love your hands” 

“ You are disgusting.” 

 Tomura grinned, going back to pay attention to the fight.. If you could even call it a fight. 

“Is All Might-” 

“Tap dancing on your sensei’s body? Yes. Yes he is.” 

“Oh. Looks like master has grabbed his feet” Kurogiri noted, he nodded as All For One tossed the man out in the sea (again)

“Does anyone else think All Might would be a good aguaman?” Izuku asked as the man flew off the sea for the seventh time “No? Just me? Okay” 

Then his fist was going right in All For One’s face. “That’s gonna hurt” Tomura noted 

“It sure looks like it did, if his lack of eyes are any indication… Wait, shit” 

All For One for the first time since Izuku took off the glasses looked amused again. He grabbed the wild All Might by the throat and squeezed. 

He squeezed and All Might fell down looking lifeless

“Is that it?” Izuku asked 

“Yeah” 

“All Might should be dead” Kurogiri confirmed 

“A bit anticlimactic innit?” 

Suddenly All For One fell on the ground and coughed a blood storm. “We need to get him to the doctor” Tomura said as he got up, Izuku grabbed his arm “Okay, but consider this. What if we don't?” 

“He’s gonna die” 

“Yeah, that’s the point” he put back his sunglasses “Let the bitch die and let’s have some cake!” 

“I’m with Izuku on this one” Kurogiri said, surprising them both . “As you are aware I am in charge of your safety Tomura, and right now, even my programming is saying saving him is a risk for your safety.”

“See! He’s bad. He’s practically dead. So let’s just.. Eat cake!” 

“We should finish him off” Kurogiri said “Just to make sure” 

They both looked at Tomura, who obviously looked conflicted. “How about we make a bet then?” Izuku proposed “Let’s get near him. If he asks about if you got hurt in any way during the fight, we save him. If he says any other bullshit. Ya kill him! How bout that?”

Tomura nodded and the three went there using Kuro’s quirk. 

As they got near All For One was giggling maniacally as he coughed all his blood. “I got it back, it’s mine, it’s mine, it’s mine.” He turned to them and smiled all bloody. It was disgusting 

“I had a feeling your quirk could do that” he said pulling Izuku down to him “Such a precious quirk.” he laughed like a maniac again. 

Izuku looked at Tomura kind of desperately 

“What now sensei?” Tomura asked pulling Izuku back to him. “You won, now what?” 

“Oh right” he laughed “Guess I won’t be needing you anymore!” he laughed even harder 

Both Izuku and Kurogiri looked at Tomura, their eyes said: seeeeee. 

Tomura rolled his eyes and grabbed sensei’s hand ‘to help pull him up’ obviously. The man didn't even think as he grabbed it. He only stopped to think when he realized he was dust. 

But then he couldn't really think could he?    

“Now cake?” Izuku asked excited 

Tomura dusted his hand off and grabbed Izuku’s “Now cake” 

Kurogiri nodded and opened a portal for them directly into a pastry shop. 

“Wooo” Izuku made a little spin as he sat down at a table. Tomura sat next to him, evidently less excited and Kurokigi went to fetch the cake. 

“What do you think happens next?” 

“We eat cake!” 

“Okay, but what about after?” 

Izuku shrugged “We can play something” 

“Izu” he grabbed his hand “I don't mean today, I mean generally” 

“Well, we are just gonna keep living. like always” 

“Can I stay with you?” 

“Why?” 

He deadpanned “You can’t be serious. There is no way i can go back to the bar after this, what if the people want revenge?” 

“ugghh i guess it’s kind of my fault you are sort of homeless too now. Fine. You can stick with me” 

He nodded 

Kurogiri came back with the cake “haaappy birthday to you” the shadow started singing not caring about the eyes on them “haaappy birthday to you!” a few people joined his singing (mostly the employees, but there were some npcs at it too) “haaappy birthday dear Izu! Happy birthday tooo youu!!” 

He smiled and blew the candle. 

Kurogiri handed him the knife, he cut the first piece backwards as he made his wish. He took off his glasses and stared right into Tomura’s soul. 

Behind them several people started going crazy and killing each other. But not Shiggy. Shiggy simply smiled and asked “So the first piece is mine right?” 

Izuku sighed defeated and shoved the cake piece at him “Guess it is” 

As everyone killed each other they ate cake and laughed at life. 

When a hero and the police arrived later at the scene they were already gone. 

-

“Heey Tsuuki! I’m baaack!” he yelled while opening the door (no he didn't have a key. Who even needs keys when you can pick locks?) “Aaand I brought company!!” 

The apartment looked so lifeless without the detective. Izuku sighed and tossed his shoes at the door “Welp, make yourself at home I guess” 

Kurogiri took that quite literally as he started making them some snacks “I gotta say” he said “This kitchen is certainly worse than the one at the bar” 

Izuku shrugged “I wouldn't know” 

“Are there any games here?” Tomura asked, looking around and dusting the things he found too ugly to exist, like that grandma lamp Tsukauchi had. Rip lamp. 

“Nope, he has an ipad though..” 

“Where is it?”

he shrugged “Somewhere..” 

-

“Good news” Kurogiri said wearing a kiss the cook apron he found “I found the ipad” 

Shigaraki very much like a gremlin grabbed the piece of technology like it was his newborn child “I bet Izu mistreated you” he caressed the screen “Don't worry, I’ll take care of you now” 

Izuku watched the scene disgusted “You are ridiculous” 

“I see a small crack in it. I bet you tossed it around like this was nothing” 

Yes. He had done exactly that. He would never admit it though. 

“You have an addiction problem” 

“It’s only a problem if I acknowledge it.” 

“So you do.” 

“It’s not a problem.” 

“Izuku, may I ask, where should we sleep? As I was looking around I noticed there is only one bedroom”

“Do you even need sleep?” 

“I can sleep with Izu” Shigaraki declared off handly

“I- No.” 

“You are small. There is room for the both of us” 

“It’s not a matter of having room, it’s a matter of me not wanting your damn germs on me” 

“I’ll shower” 

Izuku slumped down, there was no winning this. There was no winning ever when it came to Shiggy. “fiiine” 

Shiggy was hugging him again, ugh, why was he so clingy? Like, okay, he gets it that he literally can’t do this with anyone else but who cares? He’s way too clingy. 

Kurogiri turned the TV on for them and put on a movie he knew Izuku would like. He got it right, obviously, but he felt like he was cheating Chicken.. Oh well. 

“I think the coxinhas are ready” 

“You really are the best Kuro”

Kuro nodded “I know” 

By the time Tsukauchi got home Tomura and Izuku were sleeping on each other and Kurogiri had taken the armchair for himself as he watched a documentary without sound and with subtitles on so the kids wouldn't wake up. 

Tsukauchi looked mentally and physically destroyed. 

“Who are you?” 

“ Shh ” Kurogiri whispered “ The kids are asleep” 

He looked at the couch and back at the mist. 

“ I- yeah, okay” he said, defeated by that logic and went to sleep. This was a problem for future Tsukauchi.

Chapter Text

Future Tsukauchi wanted to punch past Tsukauchi in the face. 

The room was a wreck, half his stuff was gone! “Demon child.. Where is my stuff?” 

“They were ugly. So I dusted them” Shiggy said offhandedly as he slapped Izuku’s hand. Izuku did not make a sound. He simply smiled and slapped Shiggy’s hand even harder “ mmmotherfucker”

Tsukauchi wanted to cry. 

“For the best really. Less things to pack” Kurogiri said while making breakfast 

“Pack?” 

“Ah, yes. We are moving. How do you expect to raise two children in a one bedroom apartment?” Kurogiri shook his head “No can do” 

He was too speechless to say anything really. All he could do was sit down in the first chair he found and stare dumbly at the man cooking with his ‘kiss the cook’ apron Yagi had given him. 

Kami, Yagi. He started silently crying 

“Gee, if they meant that much to you we can buy more ugly shit” Izuku said rolling his eyes. While he was distracted Shiggy slapped his abused hand. He sucked in a big breath. “ you’ll regret this you fucker” 

“ Pay attention to the game Zuzu” 

“C-Can someone turn on the TV?” Tsukauchi asked 

“Of course” Kurogiri said, turning it on. 

[“-Certainly news that affect the entire nation, if not the world”]

“I’m staaarving, how much longer till it’s ready Kuro?” Izuku asked as he slapped Shiggy’s hand. At this point their hands were extremely red. 

[“It is unsure who was the villain that caused such destruction and if he was defeated or not”] 

“Just two more minutes.” He looked at the TV “ We should have left them a finger ” he murmured and shook his head. 

[“But one thing is clear, to have put All Might of all people out of commission…”] 

“FUCKING GAHHHY” Shiggy yelled  

“HAH! I WIN” 

“NO YOU DON’T, THAT WASN'T.. YA KNOW, IT WAS GAY! GAY GAY GAY!” 

“You are just delaying the inevitable Shiggy” 

[“Our reporters on site said the situation isn't looking good, apparently the most concerning wounds were that he’s lacking a lung and he was severely asphyxiated”

“Everyone is wondering who was the villain that managed to make All Might of all people get in this estate”]

Tsukauchi slumped on the table. “You must feel worried about the news” Kurogiri noted as he passed him a plate. 

“I am” 

He nodded “Don't worry. The villain is dead too, he won’t be a threat” true. true? TRUE! WHY DID IT PING AS A TRUE??  

“Boys, the food is ready” 

“FINALLY!” 

They sat next to each other and when they thought neither of the adults were looking they just kept playing the slap game. 

“What do you mean ‘the villain is dead?’” 

“He is.” Shiggy said mouth full of food “I killed him” true?? 

“He was a threat to Tomura’s existence. It had to be done” true?????

“Even if he was like a father!” TRUE???!!!

“Oh palease! He made you call him sensei and got mad that time you called him dad. He was just a big baddie” Izuku said, slapping Tomura’s hand in the process and again it rang true. 

Tsukauchi stood up “Y-You all knew All For One?” 

Izuku smiled “What? Are you shocked Tsuki?” 

Tomura snickered “We had already established we were villains. Zuku has a bigger body count than I do. BY A LOT!” And then he proceeded to try stabbing Izuku’s hand with the fork. He hit the table instead. 

Izuku got a new acquisition: knife! 

“You really wanna try me Tomura?” 

Tomura drops: fork. 

“Good” 

Tomura slaps Izuku’s hand with the speed of a child who fears nothing. 

By reflex the knife ends in Tomura’s hand, Izuku swears he didn't mean to! It pings as a lie. 

“Izuku!” Kurogiri stood up and rushed to stop the bleeding “No stabbing! We’ve talked about this!” 

“You talked. I barely listened” 

“You can’t be villains.. You are.. You are children” 

“Yes. They are children” Kurogiri agreed “That’s why detective you are adopting them and setting them in a better path” 

Tomura and Izuku looked at the shadow like he had just shot them. 

“This is betrayal!” Izuku shouted 

“Insubordination! You are supposed to be a better slave than that!” Tomura shouted along 

“ I bet we could sell him out to the creepy doctor” Izuku whispered (everyone listened he wasn't capable of speaking in a low tone) to Tomura 

“Ye ye ye. That’s a plan” 

Kurogiri sighed and dropped in front of them still holding Tomura’s bleeding hand “You both had most of your childhood and innocence ripped out of you. You deserve to be children” 

“What does getting fucking adopted by a freaking detective of all things has to do it with??” Izuku asked “We can still be children who occasionaly commit genocide!!” 

Oh my kami, Tsukauchi was having a headache. He was having a terrible headache. He needed a timeout. If it had been any other day this would be fine, totally fine. But-

“The only thing that’s going to lead you both is death. My main purpose is taking care of you, Tomura, keeping you safe. This is the path for you. You both, to live a safe and healthy life.” 

“But-” 

“I know you boys don't even know what that means, why it is necessary. To be frank, I don't know why either. I simply do as I’m told” 

“Is this just you dumping us on him so you can be free?” Tomura asked 

“Of course not Tomura, I live to serve you” 

“Yeah, you lived to serve sensei too” 

The shadow was silent as he took Tomura over to the kitchen to wash his bloody hand “Do you have some bandages Detective?” 

“In the bathroom” Izuku answered for him. 

“Thank you Izuku” 

“So I’m guessing that flying kid wasn't the one I had to adopt then..” Tsukauchi said after a long while. 

“I mean.. He was being abused by whoever takes care of him when I went there.. so..” 

“Alright” With a newfound emotion Tsukauchi picked up the phone and dialed the first number he found (coincidentally it was everyone’s favorite rat) “I need help” 

[Oh my, it’s been a long while someone requested something other than information from me…] 

“Yeah, no. I really need help” 

And then he hung up and let himself slump on the kitchen table 

“Would you like some tea?” Kurogiri asked 

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” He answered. 

-

“Problem child” Aizawa said surprised at the door 

“Problem hobo” The child nodded 

He searched around the room and found Tsukauchi with a blanket around him and a cup of tea in hand “Problem Detective, why did Nedzu tell me to rush here?” 

“It’s my seventh tea” He answered instead. 

“He has almost ended all the stash” Kurogiri said concerned “We will need more tea” 

Aizawa stared at the talking shadow and back at the problem child, somehow he was certain everything was his fault, he didn't even know what was wrong, but it was definitely the kid’s fault. “Who is this?” 

“Thas Kuro” 

“Kuro’s my slave” The other kid Aizawa hadn't noticed till now added. 

Aizawa raised an eyebrow at the shadow’s direction 

The shadow nodded “That I am, Kurorigi, at your service” 

Somehow it was slightly more concerning the man also considered himself a slave for a ten year old. He looked back at Tsukauchi for guidance. 

“ We need a bigger house ” He heard the man say, so far so good, the detective decided to adopt after all “ Is there a school that would accept former villains? No, they don't know. No one can know.” Okay, so far not so good. 

“Hey, knock it off, what happened?” 

There was no time for him to answer though because the problem demon had sneaked up on him “What’s your quirk problem hobo?” 

“Era-” 

“DON'T TELL HIM” Tsukauchi suddenly yelled reaching out of the blanket

Aizawa was extremely confused and the child was pouting “But I wanna knoow” 

“He asks questions” Tsukauchi said “He asks a lot of questions” 

“ not my fault yall don't know your own quirk” 

“I know my own quirk” Aizawa challenged 

“Yeah? Bet” 

Tsukauchi slumped back down on his blanket “I tried warning you” 

“We are officially out of tea” Kurogiri said as he served the last cup to the detective, the man looked at him like he had just shot his lover “I’ll get some more” he said and looked at the kids “Behave” 

Aizawa had only time to blink and the shadow was already gone. What an amazing quirk. He bet Oboro would have loved it. “Erasure” he said looking at the child “My quirk lets me erase other's as long as I’m looking at them” 

Izuku was silent for a looong time, Tsukauchi thought Aizawa was a child wizard. 

“Hehe, Izu’s plotting something” The other child said 

“My quirk makes whoever I look at or whoever looks me directly in the eye have the sudden urge to kill everything” The problem demon said. 

Both Aizawa and Tsukauchi were thinking the same thing: discovering this quirk must have been terrifying. 

“Which one do you think works faster?” 

“We aren't going to figure that out” Aizawa quickly said 

“Why not?? If yours lose I swear I’ll put the glasses back on before you go on a rampage” 

“That’s a lie” Tsukauchi said tiredly from his spot 

Izuku groaned “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!” he yelled to the detective and stormed off to the bedrooms, Tomura watched as he went waving as he passed by but quickly returned his attention to the Ipad. 

Meanwhile Aizawa was having a small crisis because he had firmly believed the child would actually do as he said. Damn, when did he become so gullible? “Do you need me for anything Tsukauchi?” 

“Moral support” 

He rolled his eyes “Anything other than that?” 

“Maybe a hug” 

“I’m going home” 

“Wait! Please don't go” 

“Give me exactly one good reason and I won't.” 

“They killed the person who had All Might in the state he’s in” 

“They?” 

“The kids”

Aizawa’s mind went blank “And why the hell are you not turning them in?” 

“Eraser. They are children.” 

“Are you really going to try to reform some killers, just because they are children, on your own?” 

“They just need a positive figure in their lives!” 

Tomura laughed and Aizawa scoffed “The problem demon literally tried to make me insane just a few minutes ago” 

“We don't need to be ugh, reformed, we are perfect as we are” Tomura said not adding to the conversation. 

“Then why have you not left yet” Tsukauchi argued 

“We killed everyone’s sugar daddy” The child that should not know these words said “We need a place to stay low until we know people won’t try to kill us instead of simply kidnapping Izuku like they do AAAAALL the tiiime!” 

“Eraserhead, they are kids in danger . Yes, they may have a questionable curriculum but isn't it our job to help them?” 

“Fine, I'll freaking help. What do you even need help with here anyway?” 

“I really could use a hug” 

This time Aizawa didn't announce it, he just left.

Chapter Text

Tsukauchi slapped his own face. Kurogiri gave him a pat on the back and the kids ignored him in favor of one of them dusting everything and the other one observing everything being dusted. 

“Say goodbye to this old house” Tsukauchi said to himself. 

Everyone obeyed anyway. 

Tomura dusted the last thing they chose not to take and grabbed Izuku’s hand “Okay, we can go now” 

Kurogiri opened the portal for them, they left one dusty living room in exchange for a clean and fully furnished room in a matter of seconds.

“Alright, this has five bedrooms, an office, the kitchen Kurogiri wanted and the game room Tomura wanted. So, everyone will do as promised ‘if I got what they wanted' and behave right’?” 

“Right” Tomura said, already moving towards the game area, he didn't know where it was, but it was okay, his gamer instincts would get him there. “You just forget to defy what your concept of behaving was” he said before closing the door (that led to the wrong room, but he couldn't leave now, it would be embarrassing, so instead he tried moving from one room to another through the window.. Before he even tried a bird stared threatenly at him and he decided this was just his life now)  

Back at the living room, Izuku nodded “How did you pay for everything?”

“He didn't!” A new voice only Tsukauchi recognized said. “I did!” Said a rodent-like-creature. 

Izuku poked it. “ what even are you?” 

Nedzu kindly removed his hand from his fur and smiled “I’m glad you asked! Few people have the courage to” 

Izuku shrugged “You only live once, why not say what’s on your mind?” 

“I like this one!” Nedzu declared and patted Izuku’s hand twice before letting it go definitely and sitting on the couch “Alright, detective, let’s have a chat” 

“Oh sure, do you want anything to drink?” 

Before he had any time to answer Kurogiri appeared wearing a new apron - (this one had a bear imprint and it said hug the bear in the middle) new apron for the new house - and bringing snacks and drinks for all of them. 

“The kitchen is marvelous” he said with an approving nod and walked away to help Tomura into the right room without him having to leave that one.   

“My quirk doesn't work on Kurogiri because his brain is different” Izuku suddenly said, appearing on Nedzu’s side. He grabbed a cookie from the tray “Would it work on you?” 

“That’s something we would have to test someday” 

“Is that day today?” 

“No.” 

“Is that day now?” 

Nedzu smiled “No, I promise you it will be soon, how about that?” 

Izuku immediately looked at Tsukauchi, who sighed “Yeah yeah, he said the truth” 

Satisfied Izuku stole another cookie and made himself comfortable on the couch. 

“Anywhoo~ How did you like the house?” 

Tsukauchi sighed “It’s perfect, you got everything I asked for and more”

“Yes.. You didn't mention but there is a pool outside.” 

“I’m very thankful for all you’ve done for us so far” 

“Keep that thought in mind detective. I have a few news for you that will likely disturb your mood” 

“Shoot” 

“The child you asked me to investigate, he’s being raised by the commission.” Nedzu made a dramatic pause “As a weapon.” 

Tsukauchi moved to the end of the sofa “That’s not good” he said for a lack of better words

“You are in luck tho!” 

“How?” 

“I personally detest what they are doing and will do everything in my power to end it.” He smiled “So you don't have to worry about that. At all.”

“Are you sure? I wanna help” 

“You can help by giving the child a place to stay after I’m done with them and by doing everything I ask of you” 

“Sure, whatever it takes” 

“Good. Next thing is.. Well, about the kids' education. You must have realized by now it will do them no good to put them in a regular school” 

“Yeah, no, I was thinking of putting them in an online school, or homeschooling them myself” 

“Both valid options, however what If I offered a better one?” 

Tsukauchi sighed “Just say it” 

“UA in a partnership with Shiketsu are opening up reform classes for villains who are minors” 

“What?” 

“Of course-” Suddenly Izuku’s crunching sounds were getting louder or was Tsukauchi imagining things? “It would be separated by age groups.” CRUNCH “And once they are deemed reformed enough they’ll be reintegrated in regular classes of their choosing” CRUNCH

“Did you do this just for us?” CRUNCH

“Don't be silly” Nedzu said getting up “It was going to happen anyway, projects like these don't come out of nowhere Detective.”  INTENSE CRUNCHING SOUNDS

Tsukauchi knew it was a lie, but everything Nedzu had said was the truth. 

“Anyway, give it some thought-” CRUNCH

“Who would be the teachers responsible for their classes?”  

CRUNCH “At UA Snipe, at Shiketsu I believe it was Ryukyu”

“Alright, I’ll give some thought” 

Nedzu nodded and left the house. Once he was gone he turned to the source of the crunches “You good?” 

“You are not going to make us go right?” 

“It’s up to you both. I’m not going to make you boys do something you are uncomfortable doing unless it’s extremely necessary” 

“So we agree school isn't necessary” 

“Izuku, tell me what’s wrong” 

“I.. I never went to school.. Ever” 

Tsukauchi blinked “Oh” 

“I mean.. Shiggy taught me some things..”

“Can you specify?” 

“I know how to write.. and read.. uh, some.. words.... And English! I can almost understand everything in English because of his games.. Uh. Kuro explained basic math to me too..” he furrowed his brows and ate another cookie “bwut evwthn is sho hwrd!”

Tsukauchi smiled softly. Izuku hated that look.  “Is Tomura at your level too?” 

“Nu uh! Shiggy knows everything! ” He scoffed “It’s pretty annoying” 

“Okay, how about we talk about this after dinner when you both are here and we’ll decide what to do?” 

Izuku nodded “That works..”

“How long do you and Tomura know each other?” He asked while opening his laptop so Izuku would think he was only paying half attention and actually answer. 

“Basically all our lives!” He laid down feeling sleepy “He’s basically the reason I’m even free right now…” He frowned “I don't like thinking about it, thinking about it means I have to acknowledge his stupid theory and I hate it” 

“His theory?” 

“It’s stupid, he thinks we are fated to be together, says we are soulmates or some shit like that” he turned to the side “He told me that means we are stuck together forever. I just think he’s an idiot” 

“Why does he think that?” 

“Because he found me because of a massive coincidence. And then he kept finding me and- and our quirks don’t work on each other for some dumb reason”

“ That’s strange”

“I asked Kuro to explain to me what soulmates are and I don't like it” he closed his eyes “I don't like it at all” 

“What did he say?” 

“In Greek mythology it said humans were born with four arms, four legs and two faces, but then some dude called Zeus got scared and split everyone in two, condemning everyone to spend their lives in search of their other halves. So your soulmate is the rest of you” he shook his head “I don't wanna be stuck with Shiggy forever. It’s gross.” 

Tsukauchi chuckled, “It’s not literal, you won’t turn into one person Izuku” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

“Are you sure? Because it could happen! Quirks are weird so it could happen!” 

“I’m pretty sure” 

“If it does happen I’m blaming you for me lowering my guard” 

“Completely fair” 

The two fell into a comfortable silence; only the click-clack of Tsukauchi writing things on the laptop could be heard. 

Then suddenly Izuku shot up and looked at him “Yagi” 

Tsuki swallowed loudly “What about him?” 

Izuku stood up “All Might is Yagi” he gasped “I helped killing your boyfriend” 

Tsuki stopped what he was doing and put the laptop on the side “He’s not dead” 

“No. We saw him die. Sensei ate his lungs!” 

“What?” 

“Sensei ate his lungs and then squeezed his neck, there is no way he survived something like that, not after almost drowning a bunch of times” 

Tsukauchi didn't even know how to react on the news, so he simply stood up and hugged Izuku “I’m sorry you head to see that” 

Izuku froze “What are you doing?” 

“I’m comforting you. You watched something extremely traumatic” 

“I caused that. It was normal, happens all the time” 

His hair. was. being. patted. He flinched “What are you doing?” 

“Yagi is on life support” 

“Let me go” 

“They don't know yet if he’s going to make it but for now he’s alive.. I’m going to visit him tomorrow, would you like to go too?” 

“I would.” Tomura said, walking inside the room and glaring at Tsukauchi. “Let go of him” 

He let go and Izuku immediately walked near Tomura “So what time are we going?” 

“Around noon” 

“That works” he said and started walking back to the game room, Izuku followed him and that was that. 

-

“Alright kids, let's discuss your education,” Tsukauchi said as Kurogiri served everyone dessert. “Nedzu kindly opened up classes for minors who never had the chance such as you both..” 

“No.” Was Shigaraki’s immediate response

“Come on now” Kurogiri tried “At least give it a chance” 

“Sensei taught me everything I needed to know” Tomura confidently announced “Why would I need some shitty education taught by some shitty npc?”

“You don't, however Izuku does” Kurogiri said. 

All eyes turned to the boy eating his dessert and pretending he didn't hear anyone. 

“As I remember you only ever taught him how to write his and your’s name.” 

“Not fair, I taught him English too!” 

“Tomura, the more knowledgeable he is, the more you-” 

“Yeah I remember sensei’s lecture.. Zu, what do ya wanna do?” 

“Whatever” the child answered “But if I’m going through a stupid reformation program so are you” 

“A what?!” Shiggy screeched a bit while glaring back at the detective 

“Yes. It is considered a rehabilitation of sorts for villains who aren't of legal age yet..” 

“We’ll go” Tomura said, surprising everyone. Izuku narrowed his eyes. 

“Oh” The detective smiled relieved “That’s good! I’ll let him know- Oh right, but do know, if at any given point you change your minds, transferring to an online school is always an option” 

Tomura had to give it to him, he was very thoughtful.. for an enemy. But that’s what made the other side so weak anyway. 

Shiggy was smiling creepily to himself, he was planning something that would go terribly wrong, Izuku was sure of it. 

“Just one more thing and I’ll leave you both be” Tsukauchi said, bringing Tomu’s attention back to him “From what I understood, there will be two possible school choices, UA or Shiketsu. Which one would you boys prefer?” 

“Hmm, can we sleep on it?” 

“Of course” 

-

“We should go with UA right?” Shiggy said excited “If we are doing this it should be with style” Shiggy said once they were alone 

“What are you planning? You had your planning face” 

“Zuzu, can’t you see this golden opportunity that fell on our laps?” 

“...” 

“We are living with a high ranking detective which means free access to all police related information. We are going to a hero school where our enemies are actively trusting and our allies will be easy to recruit! This is perfect! Their weaknesses will be practically shoved at our faces! You’ll do your magic! I’ll do mine! And within no time we will have ruined all of society!!”  

“I already said I’m not helping you with your thing” 

“No. You said you were gonna think about it and if sensei was out of the picture you’d join me. Well, sensei is out of the picture!” 

“...No, you are twisting my words I-” 

“I can do this without you Zu, but I want to do this with you !” 

“...” 

Shiggy sighed “I’ll give you cake everytime you ask if you stick with me” 

Izuku nodded and laid down on his bed “You should have started with that…”

“Soo, UA or Shiketsu?” 

He shrugged “What can you tell me about the heroes in them?” 

“We can figure it out together!” He said jumping on Izuku’s bed with his phone in hand.

Chapter Text

Izuku would like to make it very clear that this was Tomura’s fault. 

All that talk about giving him cake if he helped him really made him want some cake. 

And since there was none at the house he only had one choice, find where the baker, from that marvelous pastry shop, lived and threaten him into making him some cake. 

Look, he was planning to pay him and all, so he really doesn't get why the guy called the police on him. And he especially doesn't get why there was a cow looking hero amongst the police but looking at them just made him think of milk and that made him think of cake again.  

“Come out with your hands in the air!” The police shouted from outside the house 

“Aw man, I just wanted cake” he whined to the baker who flinched “Why did you sell me out like that? I was willing to pay you and all!” 

The man was trembling as he made the cake Izuku had requested of him 

“We are gonna count to three!” the police shouted again. 

This was getting annoying. “How long till the cake is ready?” 

“F-Forty mi-mi-minutes” 

Izuku sighed and walked over to the window “Hope this stalls them enough then” he took off his glasses and looked at the eyes of everyone he could. 

The hero made her first move against a fellow officer. It became war out there, he closed the window so they wouldn't even think about killing his baker and hopped back to where he was sitting on the counter “It smells sooo good already!” he said smiling. 

Several deaths, a baker feeling extremely guilty, a surrounded house and a cake later… 

“THIS STOPS NOW VILLAIN” The fourth hero they sent tried making the same speech the other ones had. “COME OUT NOW AND-” 

To their surprise Izuku did come out, with a bag hanging on his arm, a cowboy hat and his sunglasses “IM GAY” he yelled to the hero, he didn't know what being gay meant, however Shiggy had yelled that to Kuro once when the nomu was trying to make him leave his bedroom, so it had to have some meaning. 

The hero was stunned for a few seconds “SO AM I” they yelled back. 

“CAN I GO?” He asked “I PROMISE NO ONE ELSE WILL DIE AS LONG AS I CAN GO.. I JUST WANTED CAKE…”

“NO, YOU CAN’T” the hero yelled  

“OH” He was about to just take his glasses off again and be done with it when he was picked up by an invisible force that made him fly out of there onto the nearest building. 

When he landed, Chicken was there with his disappointed™ face. “What the hell were you thinking?” 

“That I wanted cake” he looked inside the bag, ok, good, the cake was intact. “I can share it with you.. But then you’ll have to repay me with another whenever I ask” 

Chicken shook his head “There are better ways to get cake” 

“It’s four in the morning, Chicken. Nothing is really open ..” 

“Couldn't you wait until morning?” 

“Nope.” 

Chicken shook his head and picked him up “Next time come to me then, I’ll figure something out that doesn't involve three heroes and a bunch of police officers dead” 

“They killed themselves, I had nothing to do with it” 

“Really? Take the sunglasses off then” 

Izuku closed his eyes against Chicken’s chest as they flew to Chicken’s house “Nope” 

-

When Izuku woke up he was being smashed by a chicken on one side and by a bunch of pillows on the other. 

“mmmm” he tried saying words but words just didn't work at the moment “too hot” he said and started kicking the pillows away from him 

“sto’ movin” chicken said 

Izuku wormed his way out of Chicken’s cuddly arms, but the cuddly arms were insistent, they grabbed him back.  

In a moment of clarity when Izuku figured it out the things holding him were arms he bit the nearest hand. 

“GAH” Chicken yelped outta there. “You bit me” 

With his new regained freedom Izuku rolled around and spread his legs taking up most of the space on the bed “askin for it” he mumbled still only half coherent.  

Chicken shook his hand around like that would make the bite fade away “can't believe you bit me”

Izuku made some incoherent noises in response. 

“Welp, guess I’m waking up then. What do you want for breakfast?” 

“garlic” 

“...Okay?” 

-

“Why da fuck does this breakfast has garlic in it?” Izuku asked two hours later when Chicken got him out of bed. 

“You asked for it, nugget.” 

“I did?” 

“Yep” 

“I have no memories of asking though” 

“But you did” 

“If I don't remember then it never happened” 

“Except it did” 

“Do you have any proof?” 

He showed his hand with a bitten mark “It was around the same time you bit me” 

“That also never happened” 

“Now you are just messing with me” 

“Am I thoo..??” 

-

They were sitting (laying on each other to me more accurate) on the couch watching a movie, it was sunday after all “By the way, I’m pretty sure Nedzu is going to destroy the hero commission for you” 

Chicken blinked, Izuku continued watching the movie. 

Chicken didn't say anything, however he can’t say he watched that movie. 

When it was over they just stayed in silence for a while, that was, until Izuku said “Wanna do some questionable things?” 

“Sure” 

“Oh goodie, let’s go then, you definitely won’t regret saying yes” 

He blinked rapidly “No killing anyone” 

“That’s fine” 

“No stealing anyone either” 

Izuku pouted “Fine” 

“And no-” 

“Stop talking or you’ll remove the questionable part of it and then everything will lose meaning” 

“I was just going to say no dying” 

“Oh.” Izuku chuckled “I have no plans of dying chicken. I’m immortal” 

-

Izuku wasn't immortal.

But he was proving to be extremely careless. 

Well,, can we even call it carelessness if the person is actively jumping off high places and shouting for their friend to catch them before they become goo?  

“wAS thIS yOUR iDEA OF FUN???” Chicken shouts after saving him from near death the sixth time. 

“No” he said with a smile “But it became my idea after you said no dying!” 

Chicken pushed him this time. 

As he fell from the bridge Izuku laughed and when he landed on the water he just let himself float. “Are you staying there all day?” Chicken asked after five minutes. 

“Yeah” 

“You are gonna get hypothermia” 

“Does it taste good?” 

“It’s- No.” A feather flew down and brought him up again “You are gonna get a cold” 

“No I’m not, it’s too hot for that” 

“It doesn't work like that” 

“Then why is it called a ‘cold’ if you can get it when it’s hot?” 

“That’s because when your body suddenly changes temperatures it-” 

“BOORING! Alright, let’s eat ice cream now!”

Chicken sighed but ended resigning anyway “Yeah, okay”

“Last time I went to an ice cream shop they made me leave.. I wonder if it will be different this time..” 

Chicken side hugged him “If they even try making you leave I’ll kill them” 

“Thought you said no deaths were allowed” 

“There are times when exceptions must be made Little hatchling” 

-

“Was it that one?” 

“Nope” 

“Ok, we are going to that one then” 

“There is a cow in the entrance” 

“Yeah and?” 

“Don't you feel sympathy for it? Being a chicken and all” 

“Haven't you heard? Cows and Chickens are long sworn enemies” 

-

“Oh shit” Chicken out of nowhere started hiding behind the menu when a group of girls got inside the store. Izuku couldn't help but stare, there was nothing special about them and they all looked older than Chicken… “ Shit shit shit, trade places with me ” 

“Nah” 

“ Nugget, please, if snakey sees me I’m dead ” 

Izuku looked behind him again trying to figure out who snakey was. Well, it wasn't even much of a question, one of the girls literally had snakes in her hair. 

“Why? What did you do?” 

“ That really isn't important right now ” 

“Yeah it is, if you want my coop that is” 

“ Fine, I called her ugly ” 

Izuku nodded and got up “ Nugget, Nugget, stop, where are you going?” 

Izuku hopped to the balcony and asked for the thing he wanted “Hello, could I please have the belgain chocolate please?” 

The girls cooed at his misspelling. 

When the clerk gave him the ice-cream in the biggest cup they had he said again using an innocent voice “Oh, I forgot my brother’s order..”

“What does your brother want?” the clerk asked with soft eyes, Izuku hated those eyes. 

“Uhh, I don't know I’d have to ask him” He prepared his throat very loudly to yell Chicken’s title, he looked right into chicken’s eyes as if daring him to stop him and show himself. The chicken was a chicken. 

“CHICKEN LITTLE WHAT DO YOU WANT?” 

Still hiding behind the menu he yelled back “STRAWBERRIES! PLEASE!” 

He smiled blindly to the clerk “Strawberry please!” 

“Here you go little man” 

“Thanks!” He returned to his seat and started eating, meanwhile chicken was still hiding behind the menu “It will melt” 

“I like it melted” 

“They’ll see you either way” 

“Let’s eat while we walk then” 

“But I-” he fakely sniffed “I could never eat inside shops.. People always kick me out..” 

Chicken sighed loudly and dropped the menu. It was almost comical how immediate Snakey's reaction was. “Keigo Takami, fancy seeing you here” She said with class while she walked up to them. 

Chicken slurped his ice cream. “Do I know you?” He asked “Sorry, I have extreme bad memory when it comes to ugly things” 

Chicken left that shop with ice cream on his hair and clothes. 

-

“Can I have a pet snake?” 

“She’s gonna call me chicken for the rest of my life, why are you like this?” 

“Her snakes were so cute, I want a pet snake” 

“And I bet she’s gonna tell eeeeeveryone in that stupid modling class to call me that too.”

“Do you think if I trained it, it could attack people on command?” 

“I don't care too much about any of them, but.. There is this cute boy there, he’s gonna think so badly of me now” 

“And then I could make it attack Shiggy everytime he says something shitty, it could work, it could work” 

“I need to somehow regain my honor” 

“I really need a pet snake” 

“Aight, so how about we make a deal” Chicken said 

Izuku raised an eyebrow “A deal?” 

“Yeah, I buy you a pet snake and you come with me on my next modeling class” 

“Okay, but why?” 

“Because there is this cute boy I really wanna impress and If anyone starts talking shit about me I want you to spread how good of a big brother i am” 

“So I just have to say good things about you and I win a snake?” 

“Yep” 

“Itsa deal! When are we going?”

“Thursday” 

“Works for me!” 

-Notes- 

Hehe, FanPersonForever drew this fic's Izuku, hoomans, appreciate it or perish: https://fan-person-forevernever. /post/674838442957488128/gremlin-izuku 

here's the pic for ya lazy buns who don't click links.

Chapter Text

As Izuku once again had a sleepover at Chicken’s house he felt like he was forgetting something important, but well, how important was it really if he couldn't remember it?

Meanwhile Tomura and the Detective were having a debate whether or not the fact that Tomura had put a tracker in Izuku’s arm was considered unethical or not. 

Look, Izuku missing out on going to see Ass Might? Normal, it wasn't the type of shit he was into, he and the detective went, he watched as the man lacked life amused, considered decaying the plugs but didn't when the Detective started talking fondly about them to the Ass, no, he wasn't soft, he was just curious and that distracted him. 

They returned home-, the detective’s home, several hours later and when he noticed Izuku still wasn't back he suggested looking for him, the detective said it was sunday, so he was probably with the chicken whatever that meant but! Shiggy was a patient man, so he waited till the day was over to suggest looking for him again, and even then he waited to see when the detective started to look apprehensive.

So it was only when the detective mumbled: “he’s usually back by now”, that he suggested “We should look for him, what if something happened?” 

The detective readily agreed. So he really doesn't get why when he said, “Ok, good, Kuro, get the tracker’s location and let’s go”, the detective asked “What tracker?” 

“The one in his arm” He answered and really that was it. 

“HE HAS A TRACKER ON HIS ARM??” 

He really doesn't get why the detective looked mad at him. It was such a basic thing to do. “Yeah, he gets in trouble aaaall the time, i needed a way to find him fast, can we go now?” 

“No. Just wait a moment, how long has it been there?” 

“Uhhh, I dunno” he shrugged “I think the doc put it there after the sixth time I found him kidnapped by someone uhh, when was that Kuro” 

“Four years ago Master” 

“Four years ago” he repeated 

“You can’t just put trackers on people!!” 

“Why not?” He frowned “Izu agreed to it if you are concerned with consent” 

“How old was he when he agreed to that?” 

Shiggy looked at Kuro “I believe he was six years old” 

“Six” he repeated 

“Tomura” the detective sighed “Did he even understand what you were asking him?” 

“Of course he did, Izu’s not dumb.. Are you implying he’s dumb?! DON’T CALL HIM DUMB!” He angrily slapped the table, the table crumbled 

Tsukauchi watched as the table slowly turned to dust in front of him and sighed “No, I don’t think he’s dumb Tomura” 

He huffed and crossed his arms “Good” 

“I do however think he was too young to be able to consent anything” 

“He would have asked me to get it out or take it out himself if he didn't like it. It's really fine detective, we have an agreement. Can we go now? He could be dying while he have this discussion” 

“I suppose there is nothing I can do except agree, is there?” 

“Nope!” he said and motioned for Kuro to open the gate. 

The shadow did and they walked in. 

When they walked out they were in a bedroom and Izuku was sleeping soundly next to the teen Tsukauchi knew as Chicken. 

Tomura furrowed his brows “Who is that fucker? Why is my Izu cuddling with him? Izu hates cuddles. Izu hates when people touch him. SO WHY?” 

Obviously Izuku and the kid woke up with his screaming. While Izuku took some time to understand what was happening, Chicken had already pinned the two invaders against the wall with his feathers. He was ready to knock them uncouncious and torture them, whatever was necessary when he recognized the face of one of the invaders. “Detective?” 

Izuku scratched his eyes and blinked several times. He wasn't wearing his glasses and the blindfold he usually wore to sleep had been shoved by his hand. He opened his eyes and looked at Tomura pinned on the wall “ Tomu? ” he asked, extremely confused. 

Meanwhile Shiggy had started struggling against the wall trying to go down and Tsukauchi had closed his eyes. 

Izuku looked at Chicken and when their eyes met Chicken felt his head pounding like he had never felt before, they were in danger, Izuku was in danger he needed to kill everyone to protect them, he needed to kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, KILL, KILL, K̸̙̻̲͈̍͐̏̈́̓Ǐ̷̡̖̦̩L̴͙̚L̷͉̜̓̌̎͜ ̴̙̮̇̆K̸̺̪̓̚I̵̹̱͙̞̾̈́͑͜L̶͈̩̦̜͋́̿̂̂L̴̩̳̭͝ ̶͍͂͛̇K̸̘̬̦̥̓I̵̡͈͚̭̳͆͆̄̆͝L̷̬̻͖̞̻̈́Ľ̶̢̼̳̃͗̚ ̸̡̘̻̐Ķ̵̮̼͉͈̽Į̴̬̀̅L̵̺̼̜̮͒͜L̷̗̪͈͇͓̄ ̶̖̙̤̏̑̋̾̆K̴̡̢͓͉̹̚I̶̦̩̙͗̍͆L̴̨͍̻͋̄͒̏L̷̘͈͕̖̓̀͊

“IZU, YOUR EYES” Tomu shouted and Izuku felt like he was slapped by this, faster than he thought he could be he grabbed the cloth and put it around his eyes again. 

But a feather had already found it’s way towards Tomura’s stomach and several others hit Tsukauchi all over his body. 

Tomura felt blood in his mouth and everything was swinging, or, was he falling? “SHIT!” he heard someone scream and then everything went to black. 

-

When he woke up it was to the sound of Izuku’s crying. It had been almost five years since the last time Izuku cried, which meant he cared! “I knew you loved me” He said coughing, Izuku lightly punched him, then he felt like he was being cuddled and he knew after this Izuku would be clingy for a while. This was great! 

“Stupid, why did you go there?” 

Tomura looked around and he was in an infirmary? It didn't look like a hospital, where were they? He put his arm around Izuku and snuggled him closer “You could have been in danger” he answered 

Izuku punched him again “Stupid, I can handle myself” 

“I know you can, but still…” Izuku grabbed his hand on his own and that made him so happy “Where even are we by the way?” 

“After Chicken stopped the bleeding, he grabbed Tsuki’s phone and called Nedzu so he could call in Recovery Girl for a favor.. Her quirk was extremely cool, she kissed you once and the wound just.. closed. It was awesome.”

“She kissed me?” 

“For her quirk” 

“Ew, I have old people germs on me” 

“Don't complain. Anyway we are in UA’s infirmary cuz she insisted you stayed until you were fully healed” 

“Ew, responsible adults” 

Izuku nodded “But she was cool so..”

“Fine” he rolled his eyes “Who was the fucker you were with?” 

“That’s Chicken..” 

“I’m gonna need more than that” 

“He’s cool even though his food is shitty.” 

“Also not an answer” 

“I don't know how to explain a person Tomu” 

he was back at being Tomu! He could die happy now. “How did you meet?” 

“He kidnapped me, but it was a good kidnapping! He let me take a shower and sleep there while it rained, after he found out I never watched any movies, ever, he started taking me every sunday so I could.. It’s fun” 

“I don't like him” 

“You are just jealous” 

“HELL RIGHT I AM! Who does he think he is?!”

“You can’t be jealous” 

“I can” 

“Nu uh” 

“I am” 

“Then stop being” 

“Say you love me then and that we are fated!” 

“No” 

“Come onnnn, say it, say it or I’ll continue being jealous!”

“No!” 

“I’m gonna kill that fucker for trying to take you away from me!” 

“Tomu!!” 

“Say it!!” 

He closed his eyes and buried his face under Tomu’s arm “ wefatednlovenshit”

“What was that? I didn't hear. Speak more clearly” 

“ wearefatedandiloveyouandstuff”

“I love you too Zu” 

“ugh”

They stayed in silence for a while until he felt Izuku starting to tear up again

“I’m not dead” he added because he felt like he had to. Izuku nodded and he knew his arm was getting wet under Izuku’s face.  

Chicken walked in feeling guilty with Recovery Girl in tow. “Uh, hey” he said eloquently. 

The kid hugging nugget glared at him. 

“Sorry for stabbing you..” 

“If you are sorry then you need to understand something” 

“What?” 

“Izu’s mine. Anditwasntyourfaultorwhateversodropit ” 

“How are you feeling dearie?” RG asked him, interrupting this lovely conversation. 

“Like shit” he answered truthfully, but then Izuku flinched under him and he decided to change tactics “That’s a joke. I’m good” 

She glared at him but nodded anyway “I’ll just examine the wound and if it’s completely closed off you’ll be free to go. No strenuous activities tho” 

He nodded 

“Dearie, I’m gonna need you to move so I can see his wound” She said to Izuku. 

He took his time to untangle himself but even when he was out of the bed he kept holding Tomu’s hand. “All good, it wasn't very deep, you got extremely lucky” 

“That’s weird, normally they go for the kill shot, he should have shot my neck, not my stomach” He said casually. 

Izuku shrugged “Maybe in some way my quirk protected yo… NO” 

“IT DID BECAUSE WE ARE FATED!” He said pulling Izuku back to the bed 

“GAH” 

Chicken and RG were extremely confused but they strategically decided to ignore them. “Who is coming to pick you up?” She asked since Tsukauchi was in the hospital. 

“Ourselves” Izuku said almost at the same time a voice at the door said “Well, that would be me of course!” 

Izuku had this inexplicable desire to grab Nedzu and throw him up. 

Chicken sucked a big breath upon seeing the rat “Uh, it’s a great honor meeting you sir!” 

Both Izuku and Tomura rolled their eyes, Tomu even went as far as saying “Suckup”. Nedzu and Keigo ignored him though. Only Izuku snickered, only Izuku gets him. 

“Keigo Takami, it’s a pleasure to meet you, If you don't mind, I would love to have a chat with you while I take you boys home” 

“S-sure, I mean, of course sir!!” 

“Please. You can call me Nedzu” 

“O-Okay!” 

RG offered Tomu a wheelchair. 

He laughed at her face and just leaned on Izuku every time he felt a little more pain. He knew Izuku needed the contact right now. 

-

When they got home Kurogiri was making lunch. “Welcome back” he said without really looking at them, “You all sure took your time without giving me any news” he sassed, and then he turned and noticed a certain lack of Detective. “You didn't kill your future father did you?” 

“It was an accident” Izuku said not looking at his face “I didn't have my blindfold on” he helped Tomu to the couch and then curled up by his side 

Kurogiri looked like his soul had left his body 

“He isn't dead” Chicken quickly added “Just in critical state… and stuff” 

Kurogiri leaned on the counter “Don't worry, I’ll take care of them while he’s in the hospital recovering!” Nedzu happily announced. 

This was the final straw for Kurogiri to pass out. 

“Huh” Tomu was perplexed “I didn't know Nomus could pass out” he chuckled “We live and learn” 

“That we do” Nedzu agreed. “Do tell though, what’s a nomu?” 

“An engineered human created to destroy society!” he happily explained 

“Tomu..” Izuku pinched him “Maybe don't tell him that” 

“It’s fine! What can he even do anyway?!” 

Izuku rolled his eyes and rose up to get a cup of water for them both “I don't know. Maybe like, create a plan that will destroy everything you planned?” 

“I’d like some tea please” Nedzu said as Izuku served himself water. 

“I don't even know how to turn the stove on” he said, perplexed. 

“Oh dear” 

Izuku went back with his and Tomu’s water. 

“I can make you some tea” Chicken offered 

“No need. I simply forgot you were all children for a moment. Won’t happen again.. So, have you decided which hero school you are going?” 

Chicken snickered “Nugget? On a hero school? HAH, that’s funny” 

“Shiketsu” Shiggy answered. 

“Wait, for realz?” 

Izuku shrugged “I want to learn how to read and stuff..” 

Tomura was about to tell them their entire plan but Izuku shushed him with a glare. 

“I see.” Nedzu said, sounding disappointed “May I ask why you chose that instead of UA?” 

because you aren't in it. Izuku thought

“Well, in terms of basic education Shiketsu just looked better. And Izu deserves only the best” Tomura said, knowing that would hurt the rat’s pride. 

“I see.” Nedzu showed his fangs “Well that’s just wonderful isn't it? I’m sure you will both do great and become great people!”

“Whatever you say rat man”

Chapter Text

“It’s been a while since it’s just been us three” Kurogiri noticed while they played monopoly. 

“I’ll give you my red for your blue” Shiggy said, ignoring the shadow. 

Izuku smiled “Sure”

“It’s a shame it can’t always be just us three. Izu wouldn't have to wear his glasses all the time if it was” Tomura said as he shook Izuku’s hand and they traded the cards. 

Izuku looked at his complete set and said “Kay, time for this neighborhood to improve!” He said and started shoving money at Kurogiri and grabbing houses for himself. 

“Like for example, if everyone else in the world was dead, you wouldn't have to wear sunglasses ever again!” 

“Unless you kill the sun Tomu, that would still happen” he deadpanned “Besides, if everyone was dead we wouldn't have electricity, nor water, nor wifi” he shuddered “No movies… No games.” 

Tomura frowned 

“Yes. It doesn't seem very wise to simply destroy everything” Kurogiri agreed. 

“Fine, not everything, just heroes then” 

Kurogiri shook his head at Izuku’s nod “That’s acceptable” He said and rolled the dice. “Oo, I want that property” 

“Well, you can’t have it. Pay it up” Kurogiri said 

“What if you sold it to me?” 

“Pay. Up” 

“Fiine” 

-

“This is awkward” Izuku said standing in front of the Detective’s hospital bed 

Tomu nodded “I agree, couldn't we have just waited for him at home?” 

“He’s getting discharged today as soon as he wakes up boys” Kurogiri said, putting his hands on both of their shoulders. “I believe he would be happy to see you both here once he does” 

Tomura leaned his head on Izuku’s shoulder, Izuku leaned against his head “How long will that be?” Shiggy asked 

Kurogiri shrugged “At any moment now” 

“I’m hungry” Izuku said 

“I’ll grab you something from the bar across the street. Would you also like something, Tomura?” 

“Nope” 

He nodded and disappeared, a few seconds later he was back with a small bag of carolinas, nothing had changed. 

It took one hour for him to wake up and that was enough time for the boys to get bored and start playing a game they made up on the spot. Kurogiri honestly had no idea what the game was and when they started talking about space cows that kidnapped trees to make monkeys he gave up on trying to figure it out. 

“Good morning” he said to the man once he noticed his eyes opening. The kids ceased their talking at his words. 

“Finally!” Tomu exclaimed “Can we go home now?” 

Tsukauchi sat up with difficulty and Kurogiri helped him getting the glass of water 

Izuku refused to look at Tsukauchi’s face so the man said “I don’t blame you” 

When Izuku kept quiet he sat sideways on the bed and continued “So don’t blame yourself for what happened either” 

“I don't” Izuku said. 

It was a lie. 

-

Back at the house Tsukauchi was surprised to find the table had been replaced with an almost identical one, where the destroyed one was made of glass this one was made of wood, but in terms of size and design it was pretty much the same, they were both circular and they both had feet that looked like tree roots. 

Everything else seemed to be in order and he was glad that Kurogiri had kept everything clean and had food waiting for his return. “Thank you for the food” he said before digging in. Upon noticing no one else was eating he couldn't help but ask “Is this poisoned?” 

“No, we simply ate before we left since we didn't know how long we’d be there” Kurogiri provided 

“Oh” he smiled tiredly “Makes sense” 

“You need better gear” Izuku said out of nowhere 

Shiggy nodded “It was pretty useless of you to almost die by a little feather” 

“Not very poggers of you” Izuku said and looked at Tomura to see if he had said it right, Tomu nodded at him and he felt a sense of accomplishment. 

Tsukauchi wasn't even going to try to understand what that meant 

“How long are you supposed to rest for?” Kurogiri asked 

“A month without strenuous activity, my work doesn't require me to take a leave though, I’ll just go back to it next week”

They all nodded at the news and the room fell into an awkward silence. 

Kurogiri cleared his.. throat? Does he have one? Anyway, he cleared it “Didn't you boys have some news for him?” 

“We did?” Izuku asked confused 

“Oh, right, we decided on Shiketsu” Tomu said

Tsukauchi nodded “Okay, as soon as they open applications I’ll send yours” 

“How is that gonna work?” Izuku asked “Do they just announce it online like: young villain’s masterclasses??” 

Tsukauchi chuckled fondly, Izuku hated that. “No, they will send the invitations directly to juvenile centers” 

“So we will be the exceptions?” 

Tsuki shrugged “I’m sure they will make it so any young villain seeking rehab can join, either being arrested or not” 

Izuku nodded, it made sense. Suddenly he felt a tug “Come on Zu, we gotta a boss to beat” 

“Oh right” 

As they disappeared into the game room Tsukauchi sighed. Did he bite more than he could eat with those two? “Give them time Detective” Kurogiri said and started doing the dishes. 

As Tsukauchi watched the shadow washing his dishes he remembered, that was a whole nother problem. 

-

Next day when Chicken came to pick him up he was cheery as usual. 

Izuku was a brat as usual. 

And Tomura was possessive as usual, everything looked normal. 

“YOU AREN’T GOING WITH THAT FREAK” Tomu shouted while Izuku rolled his eyes 

“Remember our deal, get too possessive I’ll rip this stupid thing off me” he said pointing at the place the tracker was buried deep inside his skin. 

Tomu scratched his neck violently until Izuku stomped on his foot for doing so. “OW” 

“Stop mutilating yourself” 

Tomu scoffed “So you get to hurt me but I can’t hurt myself?” 

“Exactly!” He said hopping near Chicken who was just watching the scene thinking how much these two behaved like brothers 

“I don't like this chicken fucker” 

“Well, I do, so suck it up Murachan” 

Tomu shot him an wicked grin “Murachan?” 

Izuku nodded and smiled equally devious “Stop being overbearing and I’ll keep calling you that” 

“Have fun with the chickeen~” He sing-said, waving and going back to the game room. 

-

“Alright, you remember the plan right?” 

“Yeah, I tell how much of a great brother you are and you get me a pet snake” 

“Yes, but specifically to the cute boy” 

“What’s he like?” 

“He’s a year younger than me” 

“Okay” 

“He has white spiky hair” 

“Okay” 

“I’m pretty sure he has an younger brother also your age” 

“Okay” 

“He has beautiful gray eyes” 

“Okay” 

“Oh his eyelashes are also gray!” 

“Okay” 

“Oh, we are here” 

He opened the glass doors of that huge building and Izuku started feeling out of place immediately, people were dressed fancily, they walked fancy, they just had this air of superiority that emanated from them and he couldn't help but scoff. “Where are we exactly?” 

“This is the biggest modeling agency in the country! It’s owned by Baku-” 

“I don't care about trivia, why the hell are we here?” 

Chicken frowned a bit a his lack of curiosity “I told you little hatchling, I have classes here” 

“Modeling classes?” 

“Yeap” 

“Weren't you going to be the greatest hero there is?” 

“Obviously, but a hero needs to have class.. Or at least that’s what my handlers believe anyways ”

He rolled his eyes “Sure.” 

“Anyway, Natsuo didn't want to be here either, his older sister sort of dragged him here, sorta similar right? You can bond through that” 

“Who is Natsuo?” 

“The cute boy Nugget, pay attention” 

Izuku huffed frustrated, he was paying attention, stupid chicken never told him a damn name. “Good morning Chiara-san!” he said waving to the receptionist. 

She waved back and let him in. 

“Can you let my little brother in too?” 

She hesitated for a few upon looking at Izuku 

“Come on Chiara, I can’t leave my baby bro alone, what if he gets kidnapped by pedophiles?!” 

She sighed “If he causes any trouble it’s on you, what’s his name?” she asked, already opening up for him. 

“Izuku Takami!” He happily said and they walked in. 

-

In her office Mitsuki received a little alert of someone unauthorized getting inside her building and trusted her assistant would take care of it should the need arise. But considering the time and day this was probably just some family member from the young models program. 

-

They walked towards the elevator and Chicken pressed the tenth floor. “Oh, one more thing, feel free to talk shit about anyone else who isn't him” 

Izuku nodded, now they were talking. 

As soon as the doors opened the lights attacked his eyes, why were they so white????? 

“Takami! You were almost late!” An excited redhead said walking up to them, no, they didn't walk, they pareded.  

“Yeah” he shoved Izuku in front of him “I needed to get my baby bro on the way” 

They gasped “I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AN BROTHER!” 

“Thanks Akashi, now everyone knows” he said sarcastically.

Akashi smiled and ignored him “Hellow little man, what’s your name?” 

“Nonya” 

Akashi wasn't going to fall for it, so he simply shook his hand “It’s a pleasure to meet you Nonya! Loved the sunglasses!” 

Izuku swears he felt a few sparkles while his hand was shooked. When the red head was gone he grabbed Chicken’s shirt “What was his quirk?” 

Chicken immediately frowned “He didn't do anything to you did he?” 

“Why?” 

“Lighting, that’s his quirk, people can him Zeus in the industry” 

Izuku frowned “I don't like Zeus” 

“Yeah” Chicken chuckled “He’s an asshole” He ruffled Izuku’s hair “Most people here are assholes, and if anyone says that you’d be perfect for some bullshit, you say no . Okay?” 

“Yeah yeah” he said and started walking around. 

He saw three different people with white hair but except that they didn't match anything else. His attention was caught when he saw snakey pissed at some dude, obviously he got near them. 

“Face it, you used me. You saw the sexy clothes. My supermodel pose… What did you know?”

The guy looked to the side refusing to meet her gaze

“Was I a game to you? Was I way too cool? I truly cared. Was I the fool?” 

“I thought you said it was fine to flirt” 

“Yes, it’s fine, until someone gets hurt!”

“I doubt you even can get hurt you stone-cold-bitch” 

“Hah” Izuku knew that tone, she was trying not to cry “Feel my heart beating? I'm just like her or you! People forget I'm human too. This is performance. This is all self-defense.. I thought you had the sense to see through that”

“Poor little me all trapped in this fabulous show” he mocked 

“I’m setting you free, just go” 

Even though she said that she was the one to walk away, her eyes met Izuku’s (well his sunglasses) and she was in fact, crying. Even so, upon seeing him she returned to the area where most people were and shouted “HEY EVERYONE, FROM NOW ON, I’M A LESBIAN!” 

Izuku had no idea what that was, however a lot of people cheered her on, so it must have been something positive! 

He was bored and Toya’s cute boy wasn't there so he just started going through some stuff. There were a lot of clothes there of all sizes, and sparkles and.. Why was this just a trunk with suspenders? Why would someone wear something like that out of their own free will?? He shuddered when he remembered that in one of his kidnaps the person that kidnapped him had another guy using that sitting at his feet. 

Bunch of weirdos. 

A woman started yelling instructions for everyone and Izuku saw as Chicken sat in a chair and started posing, he looked absolutely ridiculous but the instructor was saying his technique was excellent so he just went back to looking around, he must have gone through a secret portal or something because suddenly he was in a room full of mirrors and there were a bunch of people dancing ballet. 

Their postures were perfect and they were all following the rhythm that the old lady at the front was dictating. The hell was this? He sat down and watched them go, at some point the old lady noticed him and walked to him. 

“Hello young man, are you lost?” 

He shrugged “My brother is doing stupid brother things so I’m just wandering around.. What are they doing?” 

She smiled, it was sharp, he didn't mind it “Dancing Ballet” 

“I thought this was supposed to be a modeling agency” 

“It is, Ms. Bakugou wants to reinvent the mere concept of modeling” 

He nodded, not understanding at all. “Would you like to try it?” 

“My glasses will fall if I move too much” he watched as someone was turned upside down “Like that” 

She chuckled “You can just take them off” 

“Nope, quirk would be catastrophic if there isn't something blocking my vision” 

“I see. Well, dancing is about flow, following the rhythm, would you like to try something child?” 

He shrugged 

“Close your eyes” 

He did so, and she removed his glasses putting a veil in front of his eyes “You can open them now” 

He couldn't see a lot, but he could see. “Now little one, come here, I’ll show you the beauty of ballet” 

-

Two hours later Chicken found him after thinking he had somehow gotten lost or kidnapped and technically he did have been kidnapped because when he found him and said he was going to take him back home the dancers all glared at him as if what he was suggesting was something ridiculous. 

He wasn't the ridiculous one though, Izuku was, where did they even get training clothes his size? He was tiny! 

Upon seeing Keigo the little shit smiled “Big Bro! Come here I learned how to daaance!!” 

The boy shoving glitter at his face chuckled. 

“That’s great, wanna go home?” 

“Yeah! Can I come back next Thursday too?” 

“If you actually do the thing we had agreed on, then sure!” 

“Oh right, I will” 

Keigo smiled and looked at the dancers “Thanks for looking out for him for me” 

Izuku chuckled “That’s a weird phrase” 

“It is, isn't it? Grab your clothes, and let’s go little hatchling” 

“Okay!” 

He vanished for a few minutes and while he did that the instructor came near him “You know this was just a demonstration right? Classes for his age are on another time and bulding and it isn't free” 

He nodded “Yeah, no worries, If he doesn't give up on the idea by the time we get home I’ll enroll him properly” 

She gave him her business card “Good.” 

“Ms Kajima!” a young teen came up to them “He’s asking where his glasses are” 

“Oh right!” she grabbed them from her pocket “Deliver them for me please” 

“sure” 

-

“So.. Ballet huh?” 

He shrugged “Are you going to give me a snake now?” 

“Nope, not until you do as we agreed” 

He pouted “He wasn't even there today” 

“Yeah, that’s why I’m letting you off for today, next thurday we try again, dont look at me like that, you would have the time to do both, apparently our classes happen at different times.. That is, if you are really serious about doing this” 

Izuku shrugged but Keigo could see he wasn't as indifferent as he wanted to appear. “I wouldn't oppose going more times…” 

“Alright”

Chapter Text

Murachan dropped his eating utensils “WHAT?!”

“I believe it’s a great idea” Kurogiri said 

Tsukauchi was dancing internally, this was such a step up from villainy!! 

“Murachan, think of this as something to up my flexibility if you think I’m deviating or whatever idiotic idea your brain has formed”

“I was just shocked” he mumbled “As long as you have fun, whatever” 

Izuku nodded 

“Have you chosen where you are gonna have your classes?” 

“Uhum! Chicken said he’ll handle my enrol. enroolee. role.” he huffed frustrated 

"Enrollment" 

“Yes, that!”

“May I enquire how you discovered this new found passion young master?” 

“ It isn't a passion.. it was just fun ” he mumbled playing a bit with his food 

“Oh, you’ll probably need some sports glasses!” Tsuki suddenly exclaimed happily, grabbing his phone “I’ll buy you some right now!” 

He poked Tomu “What are those?” 

Tomu shrugged “Beats me” 

Kurogiri was still looking at him expecting an answer. Izuku had already forgotten the question. “Uhh, what was it you wanted to know Kuro?” 

“How you discovered this hobby” 

“Oh right! So, chicken has modeling classes for some stupid reason, I got bored and then suddenly i was at the ballet class and the teach was cool!” 

“Where were these classes?” Tsuki asked 

“Uh, no idea, it was this biiiig building own by uh a Bokagu??” 

“Bakugou?” Tsuki asked correcting him. 

“Yeah, that!” 

He nodded “They are certified for quality” 

“Good.” Tomu added 

“So anyway, I’m doing that, uh every thursday I think” 

Tsuki nodded “Oh! I also have some news!” He had their complete attention at that “I’ve started the adoption process” 

“Does it need to have a process? We don't even exist legally” Tomu said 

“Yes, and that’s a problem, specially since you’ll go to school, I’m not making you give up your last name if you don't want that”

“I don't really have a last name” Izuku said 

“And mine was given by a man who I considered a father but who never considered me a son..” 

Izu giggled “So poetic” 

“Shut up” 

Tsuki smiled “I’d be honored if you had mine” 

Tomu tsked “Hey Kuro, do you have a last name?” 

The shadowy man blinked several times, his shadows flickered weirdly, his eyes changed colors a few times as did his shadows flickering between his usual purple and a light blue in a manner of seconds. 

“Kuro?” Izuku asked 

“He’s malfunctioning, OI, STOP MALFUNCTIONING!”  

The shadows stopped, he blinked some more and looked at them “Shirakumo” he said not really comprehending where that information came from

Murachan nodded satisfied “That can be our last names” 

Izuku sighed “Why are you so obsessed with us sharing a name?” he asked tiredly 

“You know the answer to that Zuzu” 

He groaned he smacked his own head at the table “I do”

-

Izuku was sort of nervous, not that he would ever admit it. 

For a loooong time his only source of interaction had been Murachan, Kuro and his kidnappers, and yes, Chicken and Tsuki were in that last group. 

It wasn't that he had a problem interacting with strangers. 

It wasn't even that he didn't know how. 

It was just that most of the time when he did it they either ended up dead or kidnapping him. He never had senseis and wasn't really good at following what people wanted to; it was really for the best that he didn't. 

He liked Kajima though, she didn't treat him like he was made of glass like other adults, she didn't have pity when he messed up and she actively encouraged his chaotic side. 

“Alright hatchling, I’ve already talked with Ms. Kajima and she will take you to Bakugou’s agency as soon as the class is over so we will meet there” 

“Then after I sell you out to the cute boy I’ll get my pet snake right?” 

“Yep, promise” 

“What if he’s not there again?” 

“Well, it’s not like it will be your fault” 

“Will I get my snake?” 

“Fiiine i’ll get you your snake” 

Izuku smiled and finger gunned him “You can’t go back on your word, or I’ll bite you” 

“I’m terrified” he said sarcastically. He would regret saying something similar later in their lives. 

“As you should be” Izuku responded, not noticing the sarcasm. 

Chicken ruffled his hair “Alright I’ll see you later, have fuun~” 

He stepped inside the ballet company, it felt like stepping into a new world again, “Hello little one, you are here for Ms Kajima right?” the receptionist asked 

He nodded 

“Alright, just a flight of stairs up, it will be the third door on the left.” 

“Kay” he said, running off to the stairs. 

He rushed up and got near the room just in time to hear Ms. Kajima talking “Everyone, we will have a new student with us today, he’s quite the amateur as were most of you when you started, so I want you all to show him the ropes and make him feel welcomed okay?” 

“Yes sensei” the chorus of forty students answered at once. 

Feeling the need to be dramatic he kicked the door opened and at the collective flinching said “Sup fuckers” 

One girl with black hair in a ponytail raised her hand and asked “Sensei, can I kick the rude kid?” 

Kajima smiled fircely “I think that would be acceptable Ms Yaoyorozu” 

The little girl nodded and walked up to him ready to kick him where it hurt. He eeped and started running. Kajima laughed “He’s got the spirit! Everyone, start the warmups! We start in ten minutes” 

At some point the chase turned into a casual jog and she didn't try kicking his balls (for now) “So, what’s your name?” she asked after they both realized neither of them was going to stop jogging or changing directions 

“What’s yours?” he asked instead 

“Momo Yaoyorozu.” 

“Izuku Shirakumo” 

They shook hands while they jogged. A little while later she stopped and he did the same, she sat down and started stretching her legs, he did the same in front of her 

“Why did you decide to do ballet? You don’t look like the kind if your rude introduction was anything to go by”

He shrugged and moved to the other leg “Kajima let me try out when we were at the modeling agency.. It was like I didn't need my eyes to see the music” she changed positions he again copied her “It was fun” 

“The modeling agency?” 

“Yeah my big brother is taking some classes there and he wanted me to sell him out to what he calls the cute boy” 

She frowned “Why?” 

“I don't know” 

“People aren't cute” she pressed remembering what her mother had once told her “Dogs are” 

“And cats” he added 

“And birds” she continued 

“And elephants” 

"Elephants?" 

"Dumbo!" 

She nodded sagely “Right, but dogs win” 

“What about giraffes tho?!”

“No no no. They are too tall to be cute.” 

“You’re tall” he noticed 

She nodded “I’m amazing in every way” she said 

“Except you aren't cute at all according to your logic. And.. And since humans are supposed to be cute” 

She looked scandalized “But they aren't-” 

“Time’s up!” Kajima shouted “Everyone to the bar!” 

As they were walking Momo sighed “Here” 

he turned to her confused, that was, until she put the hair on his face up and made a tiny blob “oh” 

“Your welcome” she said with a huff and moved to where she usually stood in the bar, Izuku moved right behind her, well, next to her.. Whatever position he was in. 

Kajima then started naming things and they followed with a pose, he struggled. 

A lot. 

But it was fun. 

At the end of the class Momo kicked his balls when he was least expecting it. 

He was getting revenge for this next thursday. 

-

“Why the long face nugget?” 

“The giraffe girl kicked me. She’s evil.” 

Keigo struggled not to laugh at the description “Brutal” 

Izuku huffed “So where is your cute boy?” he asked, crossing his arms. 

He pointed at a boy glaring at his phone like it had personally offended him “That’s him” 

He nodded and walked up to the boy. “Hi person my brother calls cute, why are you trying to murder your phone with your eyes?” 

Natsuo was taken aback for a few “I’m not.. Who is your brother?” 

Izuku pointed at where Keigo was “It’s that chicken over there” 

The chicken in question shot them a little wave. 

Natsu raised an eyebrow “Chicken?” 

“Oh, I wasn't supposed to let you know that nickname whoops” he said, not sounding like he regretted it at all. “Anyway, why does he call you cute? Is it a good thing to be cute? Aren't only animals supposed to be cute?”

“How old are you?” 

“Ten. How old are you? ” 

“Shouldn't you know these things by now?” 

“Chicken said you have a brother my age, shouldn't you know if i should know or not?” 

“Well my brother is being abused by our shitty dad so it’s not like I can even talk to him” 

“Hmm, do you want me to kill your dad? I’ll do it for cake.” 

Natsuo laughed loudly, this smoll bean of a child sounded so serious “I doubt you could kill him” 

“Why?” 

“He’s a hero” 

Izuku frowned and sat next to him patting his shoulder “Heroes suck” 

“Your brother is going to become one” 

Izuku grinned “That’s what he thinks. ” 

“What about you? Don't all kids want to be heroes at your age?” 

“Ew, why would we want that?” he genuinely looked disgusted and Natsuo was at the same time amused and confused “They don't actually care about people that actually need help” he recited what Murachan always told him and what he knew for a fact, it was almost like a mantra for him to not care at this point “They only care about fame and shit” 

Natsuo shook his head, this kid, this ten year old kid didn't understand why people called each other cute, but used words like shit. Yep. Fuyumi would never believe him but he needed to tell her anyway. 

“You agree, right?” The kid pressed 

“Yeah” 

“Anyway, I’m supposed to be selling out my brother to you so I can get a pet snake” 

“Oh are you now?” 

“Yep, so if he asks, I talked pretty well about him mkay?”

“Why doesn't your brother come here himself?” 

“Cuz he’s so full of himself that he thinks snakey over there talked shit about him to everyone, you included so he needed to amend that” 

He looked at who snakey was and looked back at him “I never even noticed that girl was here” 

“Speaking of being here, he said you were here because your sister dragged you, who is your sister?” 

“Oh, she’s not here. I was scouted by Bakugou herself for this shitty class, Fuyumi, my sister, was with me when it happened, she threaten me to join” 

“F in the chat” 

“What chat?” 

Izuku shrugged 

“Oh, I think I gotta go” Natsuo said when he noticed a bunch of people looking his way

“Kay” 

Izuku took this opportunity to sneak his way back to Ms Kajima class again. 

Meanwhile Keigo was sweating cold! This was Bakugou herself that came down to see their progress!! Holy shit, he was feeling pressured. 

She walked around looking menacing while all the kids were lined up. 

She looked one of the boys in the eyes and said “My son has better posture than you and he slouches” the boy cried silently. She stopped in front of Snakey “Chin up my dear. And congrats, I heard you came out last week” 

“Thanks ma’m, it was liberating.” she said with a cunning smile. 

Bakugou smiled “Yes, I know the feeling” she winked and continued on walking, she stopped in front of Natsuo this time and shook her head “Such a waste of a good face. If you aren't even going to try you can leave” 

“Thank kami” he said and started leaving she grabbed his arm he looked at her confused 

“You aren't leaving” 

“But-” 

“You were supposed to want to try harder.” she shook her head “I hope my son never reaches your age” 

people chuckled and at her smile they relaxed a bit. That was a mistake. 

“You” she said stopping in front of a short girl with crazy clothes “Get out” 

“What?” 

“If you thought you could use something that atrocious and survive this cut, you were wrong” the girl cried as she gathered her things and left 

Bakugou huffed out in annoyance. “Chickens have no place here” 

At this phrasing a few heads turned at Keigo. He groaned. “I see you have an actual chicken here” Mitsuki said, stopping in front of him next, people laughed, Natsuo frowned but said nothing. 

“Straighten your back boy” 

He immediately did as told, she nodded in approval “Good reaction time” she said and then threatened to punch him for a joke. When he also caught that she whistled “You willing to give my boy some lessons?” 

“I’m sorry Bakugou-sama, I already have my hands full with one kid” 

She nodded and chuckled “I get it, no worries” she continued moving until she reached the end of the roll. 

She turned back at their instructor and nodded “We got a good batch this season”

“Anyone catch your eye?” Their instructor asked 

Bakugou stopped a few minutes to think and ended up pointing at snakey “Get your parent’s permission and I believe we can make you debut” 

Snakey blinked a few times and then bowed “Thank you for the opportunity” 

She said nothing, simply smiled sharply and left the room. As she left they felt the air that had been previously stolen had returned. Just as she left Izuku came back to the room sulking and mumbling “ stupid boss person who made kajima kick me out before she showed up”

Chapter Text

“Alright, you are both signed up for school and it starts in two weeks… You all also legally exist now but I imagine that isn't as interesting-” 

“Humans are shitty” Was Tomura’s response that wasn't actually a response. 

“What does it say in it?” Izuku asked. Alright, it was: ignore Tsukauchi time, he could deal with this, he had years of dealing with his best friend having the shortest attention span ever. 

“Apparently parents are signing up their kids for the reform program on the basis that the kids have villainous quirks” Kurogiri calmly explained 

Wait what, he approached the sofa standing behind them as he did so he could read what was on the ipad. 

“Damn, humans are shitty” Izuku agreed. 

Tsukauchi let out a dry laugh “I can’t believe this shit” 

“Language detective, they are still children” Kurogiri reprimanded him. 

Tsukauchi ignored him in favor of calling Nedzu “Hey rat, did you see this shit?” 

[Yes Detective, I’m the one dealing with the current shit, I was actually about to call you so this was great timing on your part]

“What do you need?” 

[To put some parents behind jail for all eternity!] 

“Let me just grab my coat” 

“Look at him go” Izuku cooed sarcastically 

“He looks so determined to help some random children with they shitty lives” Murachan added 

“If I, let’s say, fell down that window now, and he had to take me to the hospital-” 

“Don't finish that line of thought” Kurogiri begged 

Izuku surrendered fast “I’m not suicidal, I’m just saying, if he had to chose between us and some random children-”

“You boys” Tsukauchi said, coming inside the room with his ‘look at me, I'm a super inconspicuous detective’ coat. He grabbed his hat and left, contradicting himself. 

Well not really contradicting since they weren't in danger and Kurogiri would keep an eye on them. 

Wait. 

Where did they go? 

Kurogiri swears he just looked away for one second . He sighed. Damn gremlins. 

-

Izuku had found the meaning of love, he finally understood every joke Chicken did, every remark Murachan made towards him. Ice cream cake existed and he had just found out. 

“I want to marry this cake cream, ice cake, cream cake gah i can’t decide but i want to marry it” He said after taking a bite

“If you marry it you can’t eat it, marry me though and I’ll give you aaaall the cake” Murachan argued. 

Izuku didn't even have to think too much about it “Okay Murachan, I’ll marry you” 

Once Izuku was feeling like he’d explode if he ate even one more bite, they walked out without paying “Soo, why did you drag me out today?” Izuku asked “You are like a vampire, it isn't like you to voluntarily leave your cave” 

Murachan grabbed his hand “At first I was thinking we should cause some chaos for fun, but now” he said and turned right into the mall “Now we are gonna get married” 

“Ok.. How do marriages work?” 

“No idea, but we are gonna! Married people always have rings on them right?” 

“uhum, I want the sparkliest there is. Won’t take anything else” 

“I wouldn't give you anything else” Tomura snarled. 

They got inside the jewelry store and Tomura yelled “OI, SHOPKEEP, GIVE US THE MOST PRECIOUS RING THERE IS!” 

The shopkeep in question didn't look like a shopkeep, instead he was awfully looking like a robber. “What’s with the stupid mask and top hat?” he asked 

The guy rolled his cane around making a show out of it “Aren't you gonna ask about the cane too little one?” 

“No. And I’m not little” 

The dramatic burglar laughed “Alright not little one! You said you wanted the brightest ring there is?” 

He nodded and they walked up to the counter “We are getting married” The twelve year old said, meanwhile Izuku looked boredly behind the eccentric guy. Yep. This was a robbery. If the tied up people weren't an indication the huge bags with jewels in them would be. 

“I see, I see, aren't you both a bit too young to marry?” 

“Nope” Murachan said with confidence “So give us a pair of rings or die” 

“Alright” the man tossed out two marble balls at them. 

Tomura stared at the marble and then back at the man, when he looked there however he wasn't there anymore. 

There was a small marble ball tho. 

And he was feeling a lot like stomping on it. 

Izuku apparently got the same idea as him except he didn't hesitate. Where the previous marble ball was now was the very same man. Looking shocked he had been caught. 

Tomura smashed the marble in his hand and it had a small tiara. He put it on himself and decayed the counter separating them “You wanna play, villain wannabe?”. Meanwhile Izuku had found his way towards the bag and was just searching for rings that would fit them. 

They were all too big or all too boring “Murachan, maybe we should have them customized” he said ignoring the fight happening in the background. Well, you couldn't call it a fight, it was just Murachan destroying everything and the man running away “Oh that’s a great idea Zuzu!” 

He stopped with his destructive streak when Izuku walked back to him and they started walking out “Wait!” A random npc that was tied up called “If you stop this robbery we will make you the rings!” They said. 

Izuku and Tomura looked at each other, shrugged at the same time and charged. 

Well, Murachan charged, Izuku crouched next to the npc and started telling them exactly what they wanted while untying them. 

Present Mic arrived to quite the odd scene. 

There was a kid giving a lesson to the spotted villain about how he could ‘villain better’, another kid talking with one of the shop attendants as if nothing had happened and some people just cleaning everything up and putting things back in the places they belonged. 

He was confused “Am I.. Needed here?” 

Most of the civilians nodded 

“Well, heroes can’t really make arrests and the situation seems to be under control” he said smiling a bit when the green one shot him a thumbs up. 

He still waited for the police to arrive and take everyone’s statement. When it was time to interrogate the kids they were already gone with shiny new rings in their fingers. 

What a nifty quirk that npc had, the ability to make anything someone else requested. 

It was golden. 

Now they only needed to be wedded and Izuku would have cakes for every meal! 

This was great! 

-

Tomura quickly researched where they could get married quickly and they found a registry not far from there. 

When they got there they were surprised to find a few other people getting married, so they had to wait in line. 

And wait. 

And wait. 

And wait. 

When their turn finally came the npc laughed. Then they called their colleague who also laughed. “You should do it Cas” the colleague said and started recording “This is the most interesting that has happened here in a while” 

“I can’t just marry kids!” Cas exclamed exasperated.

But then a random person shouted from the line behind them “JUST DO IT!” 

Another one, that they suspected was a pedophile and discreetly called the police yelled “LOVE HAS NO AGE!” 

And soon everyone was cheering for their wedding. 

Cas decided, if they were going to do this. 

They were going to do it right. 

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE CALM DOWn!” Cas shouted “WE NEED MUSIC, ANYO-” before he even finished it there were already three different phones playing some alteration of ‘Here Comes the Bride’

Yep, just on tune. He thought as the songs blasted completely out of sync. 

“WE NEED FLOWERS!” 

A guy with a flower quirk - that was planning to do this at his own turn but that idea had long been forgotten in favor of adding to the chaos - yelled “I HAVE FLOWERS” and it started to rain flowers slowly on them both. 

Cas’s own quirk was to create spotlights so he made it shine on the kids. It looked magical. 

“EHEM, uh, what are your names?” 

“Izuku and Tomura” Murachan provided 

“ any last names?” 

“Shirakumo is what we want to become” Izuku said 

Cas smiled “Aight, WE ARE HERE GATHERED TODAY TO CELEBRATE LOVE! IZUKU AND TOMURA, YOU MAY SAY YOUR VOWS!” 

Tomura cleared his throat read to make a big speech about how they were fated and now Izuku was stuck forever with him but Izuku beat him to it 

“For cake” he said holding Tomura’s hands 

Murachan crackled “Yeah! For cake!” 

“BEAUTIFUL!” Cas said, people were starting to tear up here. “DO YOU IZUKU, TAKE TOMURA AS YOUR SPOUSE, AND PROMISE TO CHERISH, LOVE, AND REMAIN TOGETHER, IN SICKNESS and stuff UNTIL DEATH DO YOU APART?” 

“Yep” 

“DO YOU TOMURA TAKE IZUKU AS YOUR SPOUSE, AND PROMISE TO CHERISH, LOVE, AND REMAIN TOGETHER, NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNTIL DEATH DO YOU APART?”              

“I do” he said 

“ALRIGHT! YOU CAN NOW K-” no. they were kids, he was getting too much into it, “HUG IT OUT!” 

Tomura kissed Izuku’s hand and then pulled him in for a hug. 

They left there and of course the first thing Izuku said was: “So, now we get cake?” 

“Now and forever” 

-

Years later Izuku would claim this was a fever dream that never happened after eating a piece of cake. 

Years later Tomura would show him the video and Izuku would curse himself for his young self’s stupidity. 

Years later Tomura would point at the cake in front of them and call it ingenuity not stupidity. 

Years later they were both still wearing a set of rings . 

-

Kurogiri had a secret hobby no one knew about (everyone knew about it) he liked to tend to stray cats when he was alone (there was literally cat fur everywhere and he really thought no one would notice it?) He had thought about keeping one, maybe two, maybe fifty, but caring for a cat wasn't in his programming, caring for Tomura was, so he never really could make that last step to become a cat hoarder. 

Of course when the kids disappeared, he could have gone look after them, however, he would like to point out that they were forces to be reckoned with and the cats needed him more. “Oo hello there Ms bubbles.” he said “how are youuu doing in this fine evening ms bubbles?” He picked the cat up who let him do it with a little bribe and started caressing his neck “you are so perfect ms bubbles aren't you?” The cat put a single paw on his ‘face’ 

That was the scene the boys returned home to. 

“Huh, I didn't know you had a tangible face” Tomura said before even saying hi 

“Can we keep the cat?” Izuku asked 

The cat hissed at him, Izuku really doesn't get it, but all cats hate him. 

“Nevermind” he sighed defeated and sulked his way towards the couch 

Kurogiri immediately noticed the rings as he was putting the cat down “Rings?” 

“We got married” Murachan said 

Kurogiri nodded, “It must have been a lovely ceremony” 

Tomura nodded and decayed a flower that got stuck on Izuku’s hair “It was perfect” 

“A shame I couldn't see it” 

Tomura shrugged “It’s probably online by now” 

“Hm?” Izuku asked, he hadn't noticed the cameras, Tomura grinned 

“Don't worry about it” 

-

“LIIITTLE HAAATCHINLIIING!!” Keigo yelled barging in through the window “HOW COULD YOU?” 

“How could I what?” 

“HOW COULD YOU GET MARRIED AND NOT INVITE ME??” 

Izuku shrugged “It was an impulse decision based on cake” 

Keigo shook his head disapprovingly “I thought you two were like brothers, you shouldn't marry your brother” 

Izuku was literally disgusted at the suggestion “I would die before calling murachan brother” 

“Murachan?!”

“Yeah” he sounded resigned “If I call him that he won’t kill you.. ANYWay! Let’s gooo” 

Keigo picked him up and flew out to the pet store, it was snake time!        

-

“Welcome to Koddly!” A teen whose face sort of looked.. rocky? excitedly said, she leaned on the counter “What can I do for you today?” 

“We are looking for a pet snake for my little bro” Chicken said shoving Izuku ahead

“Yeah, they need to be chicken friendly though” Izuku added 

The girl snickered, having quickly caught on to what he meant. “Alright, follow me!”  

She started walking to a back room and they followed, “Ignore my little brother” she said to Chicken as they walked past a boy that looked around Izuku’s age silently talking to a bunny. 

She led them to the last room and it was filled with all kinds of reptiles. As Izuku went directly to the snake corner, Chicken found himself in a staring contest with a chameleon. This lizard was up to something.. He could tell. 

“That one is Lex, her actual name is Lexialiath, but she likes Lex best, that one is Lucca, he keeps trying to convince everyone he’s from italy but he was born here” 

“What about this one?” Izuku asked, pointing at an orangish snake, she had some scents of blue in her skin, and some yellow but the majority was orange. 

“Ah, that’s prinny, well, her actual name is princess but she likes prinny more” The teen smiled “I think she liked you” 

Izuku stretched his arm in her direction and she actually climbed it “Damn, she really liked you” 

“I like her too” Izuku said as the snake went around his neck like a scarf 

“That’s unusual ya know, she usually hates everyone” The gal smiled “You must be special”

He looked right into the snake’s eyes, they were redish, sort of like Tomu’s but not quite “Alright, this is the one” 

“Good choice, you can feed her mice, rats, etc, she also likes corn for some reason. But I would stick with the rodents if I were you, gives them more substance”      

He nodded and she started climbing his head “k” 

“Hey chicken let’s go!” 

When Keigo turned to him he saw only snake, nugget was somewhere buried in there but it was mostly snake, meanwhile in this moment of distraction the chameleon had found it’s way towards Keigo’s back.  

This was the day Maxmilioth the chameleon made his daring escape.       

“You damn chameleon” the teen said when she noticed the reptile in her client’s back. 

That was not the day Maxmilioth the chameleon made his daring escape.

Chapter Text

“She’s cute” Murachan said upon laying eyes on prinny

Tsukauchi did not share the sentiment. “It’s a snake” 

“Her name is prinny” 

“Can I touch her?” 

“You can try” Izuku smirked, remembering how the lady had said she didn't get along well with anyone else. 

He tried, he succeeded, Izuku frowned, Tomura said it was their child, Prinny moved towards Mura, Izuku felt betrayed, Tomura said it was fate, Izuku took off his glasses, nothing happened, Izuku put them back on, Prinny moved back to him, he shoved Mura away, Mura used it against him to pull him close and kiss his forehead. 

Kurogiri took a picture for the album. 

Tsukauchi drank tea. 

It was lovely tea. 

Probably would taste better if he wasn't having a small aneurysm though. 

-

“You are old and smart” 

Chicken looked at him kinda lost “Yes?” 

“So you know things” 

“I do.” 

“Okay. When I was seven, this weird dude called me cute and then kidnapped me” 

Chicken’s breathing stopped 

“He had these people around your age now that I think about it, dressed in those uh, trunks with suspenders that you had in the modeling place, oh and a collar around their necks that connected to a chain.” 

“Izu…” He never called him Izu “Where was this?” 

He shrugged “Anyway let me finish, he said a cute boy like me was going to be perfect for him.. He locked me up for a while but Murachan came fast and just killed everyone but- but now you are actively calling Natsuo cute all the time and I just don’t get it” 

“I-” 

“I talked to Momo about it, and we agree it’s a contatation” connotation Keigo mentally corrected “For snuggly animals” 

Keigo opened his wings and put it around him “It is” 

“Then why do you use it for him, and why.. why did they use it on me?” 

“Izu.. If someone calls you cute and kidnaps you again or even just touches you, I want you to kill them” 

“Obviously” 

Ok, now how do you explain this to a ten year old. A ten year old with a lot of trauma but a ten year old nonetheless what that meant? 

He took a big breath, this was going to be harder for him to talk about then for Izuku to understand, he was sure of it. 

Yeah, Izuku was strong, he could handle it. 

-

“Hello murderer” 

“Hello punk” Momo answered. 

“Giraffe” 

“Rude” 

“Little miss perfect” 

“Little nugget boy” 

“Momo” he grabbed her shoulders “If someone ever calls you cute and tries to take you with them, you need to- wait what’s your quirk?” 

“Creation, I can make anything as long as I know the formula” 

“Ok, then you need to make a gun and shoot them in the face okay?” 

“Why?” 

“Because” he whispered to her. 

She looked scandalized, she also shivered a little “Why would people do that?” 

He patted her “People are monsters, did you know UA and Shikestu opened up a program for villain rehab our age and that some people just started signing up their perfectly innocent children because of their quirks?”

“That’s- That’s awful” 

Izuku nodded 

“How do you know about that though?”

“My-” what was the detective to him? Roommate? Parent? caretaker? “I live with a police detective, he’s working on that” 

“I can’t even imagine” 

“BAAAAAR TIME~!” Kajima shouted singing a little and put on some music 

They walked over there and continued whispering to each other “ I’m going to participate in the program ” 

“ Why? ” 

He grinned “ Well, maybe I’m secretly a villain ” 

She nodded “I believe that”  

“ I heard of the program ” another kid said near them, he had spiky black hair and during class time he always looked at them scowling “ mom said she’s making my brother go” 

“ your brother?” Izuku asked curious 

“ yeah, he got arrested a while back for stealing a car, he’s been doing uh, what’s that thing called? Well, he’s collecting trash and helping elders and stuff and he’s only got another ten months of it but mom wants him to go” 

“What’s his name?” Izuku asked 

“Aand Plié”

“ Kagano Awase” 

“ What’s yours?” Momo asked 

“ Yosetsu Awase” 

“ I’m Momo and this is Izuku” 

“I know” he rolled his eyes “ you are both loud. And dumbasses. How did you not know what being cute meant?” 

“ I lived my entire life on the streets” Izuku answered deadpanning 

“ My mother told me it was only used for animals..” Momo was taken aback by Izuku’s answer. 

“ Well, you are both dumbasses and if you didn't know this-” 

They all turned to the other side at Kajima’s command 

“ Then I’m sure you don’t know anything else either. Don't worry tho” he looked back at them and grinned “ I’ll be your teacher” 

“Awase! No talking!” 

“Sorry sensei!”  

-

“Takami!” Kajima came to their little group after classes were done “Are you coming with me today?” 

He shook his head “If chicken asks tell him to suck it up and go talk with the cute boy himself” 

She chuckled and left waving them “Alright kid” 

Momo tilted her head “Takami? Why did she call you Takami?” 

“That’s my brother’s last name, guess she just assumed”

“Oh, how does that-” 

“He sort of isn't actually my brother” Izuku shrugged 

“Ugh enough with this crap” Awase said “Ask him what you really wanna know, you are homeless?” 

“Well, not now . But I was until uhhhh, four weeks ago?” he nodded to himself “Yeah, around that” 

“Ew, do you have rabies?” 

“No” he said darkly “The detective ” he said with venom “Vaccinated us against our will”  

“Us? You and your brother?” Momo asked 

“No” he showed his ring “Me and my spouse” 

For some reason after the revelation that he was married Awase stopped feeling antagonistic towards him. Weird. He deadpanned “Do you even know what being married means?” 

“That Murachan will gimme cake anytime I want” 

Momo shook her head and so did Awase 

“Marriage means you are stuck with one person forever dumbass, it means you can never date someone else, and everything you end up doing it will be together” 

“No.” Momo said expression turn dark “Marriage means unhappiness, it means joining clans in matrimony and having children that can carry on a legacy” 

“Well” Izuku shrugged “For me it means cake” 

-

They were sitting on the sand watching as the waves did their thing. “How come you never talked to me before?” Momo asked “If I recall correctly we’ve been in the same class for almost two years” 

Awase looked away “You seemed impossible to approach” 

“She isn't though” Izuku said 

“Yeah.” Awase looked annoyed “I noticed that” 

Izuku chuckled “So, who’s the dumbass then?” 

“Shut up!” he said and shoved some sand at him, Izuku shoved back and quickly the three of them were in a war that ended with them taking it to the ocean since “sand can get in our eyes and blind us, at least if we are gonna do this let’s do it on the water” Momo had said and they all agreed. 

At the end of the day they were all soaked from head to toes. “It’s getting dark. I should go home” Momo said getting up and squeezing her long hair 

“Yeah same, what about you?” Awase asked 

“Hm” he shrugged “Guess I’ll go too then”   

“This was fun” Momo said with a small smile 

“We can definitely do it again next Thursday!” Awase said, lightly punching her shoulder. 

“We should bring extra clothes then and towels” 

The three nodded. 

They started walking back to the road, this was the perfect opportunity for Izuku to take his revenge, she had her guard down and all.. But.. “See you all next thursday!” He said instead and wished he could write or at least have a phone so he could ask Kuro to pick him up. 

Well. 

Technically

If he just laid there and waited

Tomura would eventually show. 

So of course as he sat down again and watched the sun go down at the beach waiting for a pick up, he was kidnapped. 

-

Extra: 

The Yaorozu’s were having dinner as usual, the table was quiet and there was an oppressive aura around them that prevented even bugs from coming near. 

Momo cut her food with expertise and class. She took a bite, drank a sip from her glass and started cutting again “So” she said “When were you going to tell me about sex predators?” She calmly asked and took another bite. 

Her mother choked to death that day. “H-How” she asked after coughing her lungs out “How do you know about that?” 

"Unimportant. What is important is that I need shooting lessons” 

“I’ll find a place suitable to teach you” her father said.

She nodded, he nodded and the dinner returned to the cold silence they were used to.  

Chapter Text

Izuku had already gone through this, he would wake up tied to a chair and then next thing that would happen would be whoever dumbass that kidnapped him would take the blindfold off and he wouldn't have to do anything, they’d just kill themselves. 

But this wasn't what happened. 

“You are almost never alone these days.” A raspy voice said 

“You need to stop smoking” He answered

“I don't” the guy answered and he heard a chair being moved around “I have a proposal for you”

“I don't usually do deals with people I can’t see” 

“That won’t work, I know your quirk” 

He let his head fall loose “If you are a stalker as you suggested, you know what usually happens when people kidnap me don't you?” 

The guy snickered “I’m confident in my abilities against some dust. Anyways, I’ve been watching you for a while, and at first I was just going to kill you for getting in my way” 

Izuku was flabbergasted “I got in your way? Do I know you?” 

“No, you don’t. But it’s been crazy coincidental that you burned the agency and got near one of the kids of the person I have a vendetta against” 

“Aw, did ya get pissy that I got close to your prey?” he cooed 

There was silence for a while “I did.” 

For some reason that made him flinch, the guy just sounded, so.. angry and resentful. 

“So I watched you for a while, I couldn't get really mad because it was just coincidences but, you can help me do exactly what I want. So you’ll do that”

“What do you want?” 

“You are gonna use your quirk on Endeavor’s youngest son when they are together” 

“What?” 

He felt the guy got closer to him “You are going to use your quirk on Endeavor’s son, Shoto Todoroki, and make sure he dies by the hands of his son” 

“How would I even do that?” 

“Your bird friend will go to an event sponsored by the Yaoyorozu family, Endeavor will be there and so will Shoto, he is your age, so it should be easy to get close to him, no?” 

He shook his head “Killing your own parents.. No”

“THEY ARE MONSTERS!” 

“And so are you for even suggesting this”  

The guy snickered “I am. And so are you, you don’t have morals, you don’t have qualms, I saw what you did to All Might, saw what you did just to get cake” he laughed loudly “You have a bigger body count than most villains in this country, so tell me, why the fuck wouldn't you do this?” 

He lowered his head “...Does it have to be his son?” 

“Yes. It will hurt his pride much more if it is”

“I get that Endeavor’s generally a dick, but why-”

“You don't need to know the reasons, you just need to do it” 

“You are sorta desperate aren't you?” 

He didn't get an answer, instead everything started getting hot everywhere and the guy said “Get your hands off me crusty”  

“GAH” Tomu, TOMU! Tomu drew his hand closer to himself 

Izuku yanked his head forward trying to make the bind fall but it was obviously restrained on his head, so he just started rolling his head around like he was at a metal show hoping it would come off, meanwhile Shiggy had started throwing random shit at the smoker guy. 

he laughed “Big mistake crusty” 

“SHIG, THROW SOME WATER AT HIM” Izuku yelled upon giving up on making the binds fall and instead concentrating on trying to decipher what he was hearing and on dislocating his finger so he could take the damned bind off. 

“Fucker think you can mess with MY IZU” he grabbed a small water bottle sitting there and splashed the water at him. 

Yeah. 

It didn't do much. 

And his counter attack was much more effective. 

“AH, WAIT IF YOU KILL HIM I WON’T DO IT” Izuku offered while trying to dislocate his finger to get rid of the binds 

“Fine” The guy calmly said and made everything catch fire. “I won’t kill him, the fire however..” he chuckled “I have no control over the fire” 

Izuku bit back a scream as he felt his finger moving but he was free, he took off the bind, grabbed the chair he was just sitting in and tossed at the human torch. 

He simply blew the chair up. 

Well. This wasn't good. “i need the power of friendship, i need the power of friendship, i need the power of friendship” he started chanting as he ran to Tomu’s direction trying to avoid looking at the guy and the fireballs thrown at them was NOT easy. 

“FUCK I HATE WIZARD TYPES” Tomu suddenly shouted and shoved both his hands on the ground, everything around them crumbled. 

Then Izuku was getting yanked and shoved in a portal he hadn't even noticed was there. Everything collapsed behind them as they left the place behind. 

Now free of adrenaline and the fear of dying he clutched his hand and screamed. Motherfucker, how did the people make this look so easy in movies? It fucking HURT! 

“Come here Zu, I’ll fix it for you” 

“Young Master Tomura, are you sure yo-” 

“I’ll handle it Kuro.” 

-

“Stop whining you big baby” 

“Dislocate your own finger and see how that’s fun if you think I’m being dramatic” 

Tomu rolled his eyes “Fine” 

Yep. He screamed too. 

-

Kurogiri looked at them disappointed. “You said you would handle it, Tomura. Handling it doesn't mean doing the same thing to yourself, Tomura. ” 

“He’s an idiot” Izuku supplied 

“And you young man, don’t think I’m not mad at you for encouraging this”

“I didn't” 

Kurogiri simply stared. 

“I didn't encourage him. I provoked him it’s different”  

Kurogiri sighed “You are lucky you are both young and your body heals faster.”

“If that’s actually a thing then I don't wanna grow old” 

Kurogiri nodded, aging wasn't fun at all. 

-

“How’s your hand?” 

“My hand is dead, the only thing that can bring it back is-” 

“Cake?” Tomu finished for him

He sighed as if eating cake was a burden “Cake” 

-

“What happened to your hand?” Awase asked while they stretched their souls 

“I had to dislocate it to escape a fire maniac” 

“Fine, don’t tell us” He rolled his eyes “Are you going to keep coming once summer vacation ends or was this a summer thing?” 

“I’ll keep coming” he grinned “You are stuck with me for a while” 

“Uh.. Shiraku-” 

“No need to be formal with me, just call me Izuku, Momo” 

“Oh, okay, uh, Izuku-kun, what school do you go to?” 

“I never went to school.” He smiled at their shocked faces “But i am going to start going to Shiekutu for that program” 

“The villain one?” 

He nodded

“But- you are so..” she couldn't find a word. She wanted to say incompetent, but at the same time, she didn't want to be rude and it wasn't entirely true. 

“Makes sense” Awase said, shrugging “And it’s Shiketsu, not Shiekutu, my brother is going to UA for the program.. And so am I! In the future I mean, and to be a hero, not to reform haha” 

Momo nodded “My parents want me to go there so I’ll go to UA too. Maybe we’ll be in the same class.” 

Izuku huffed “Heroes? Really? Why?” 

“Heroes are awesome!” Awase answered 

“Becoming a hero and achieving the top is the most prestigious position you could be in” 

“Ugh, heroes aren't awesome, heroes destroy the place you sleep on because it’s dirtying the city, heroes cause more destruction than they help, it’s because of heroes that society doesn't care about a kid starving, because why would they care when surely a hero will help? Well, news flash! Heroes don’t help. They are too busy caring about whatever position they are in, and how much money they can make…” 

It was like the entire class had stopped to listen to him. Upon noticing the attention he continued “So why would someone want to be a part of the problem? Why do people worship heroes so much?” 

Awase deadpanned “So, you can criticize heroes but you couldn't tell what a person being cute meant. Sounds about right” 

“OOooooo” the whole class expressed at the same time. 

Izuku scoffed “Well, obviously, criticizing society is easy because it is flawed a lot and anyone with eyes can see that. Defining an entire new concept without references is much harder”  

“WOOOOO” The class cheered at the response. 

Awase rolled his eyes “You win this round Shirakumo” 

Izuku grinned “I’ll alw-” 

“Alright everyone to the bar!” Kajima said, interrupting what could have easily become a fight. 

-

They walked to the nearby beach mostly in silence. Well, I say ‘mostly’ because their silence was very loud. 

“Okay, I have to ask” Momo said “What exactly is your backstory, Shirak- Izuku?” 

“Well, the basics of it you already know” he said kicking a rock “But if you want more details you gotta reach level seven friendship first” 

Awase rolled his eyes “It amazes me how much a nerdy gamer you are sometimes”

Izuku shrugged “Murachan didn't give me the option to be anything else” 

“Murachan?” 

“He mentioned that name before” Awase said “He’s your spouse right?”

Izuku smiled 

“Friendship level seven?” Momo asked sighing 

“I’ll be fair, it’s level five” 

“What level are we on right now?” 

“Hmm, two?” 

She nodded “Ok, I can work with that” 

“By the way” he started taking off his overalls upon reaching the beach “You asked about mine so it’s only fair, what school do you go to?” 

“Somei” Momo answered taking her shoes off

Awase gawked “Damn, I knew you were rich, but. Dang, you are rich” he said taking his pants off

“What about you Awase-kun?” she asked while removing her shirt having her bikini already under

“Corellia” 

She nodded 

“You never heard of it, have you?” He asked amused and now shirtless

She shook her head, he rolled his eyes “I’m not even gonna ask you-” he said turning to Izuku. 

Izuku who took his clothes off too, 

Izuku, who had a multitude of scars decorating his body, 

Izuku, who simply ignored him and ran to the water. 

“Ah, wait for us!!” Awase yelled running behind him. 

-

They were floating, just watching the clouds “We should play mermaids” Momo said

“What’s that?” Izuku asked 

“What’s a mermaid or what’s the game like? You have to specify” Awase asked 

Izuku rolled his eyes “The game. I know what a freaking mermaid is” 

Awase shrugged “We can never be too sure when it comes to you”  

“Ya know, it takes only twenty seconds for a person our age to drown if they don't have any experience holding their breath” Izuku casually said. “Do you have experience Awase?” 

“So.. mermaids?” Momo asked again

“Sure. Mermaids”

It started wholesome. 

It quickly became, grabby strangers feet time though.

At some point a kid with sharp teeth, who shyly introduced himself as Kirishima, joined them in the fun, well, fun for them, not for the random people who had their foot grabbed out of nowhere. 

Three hours later they were drying themselves off having long said goodbye to sharkie kid “Oh! This sunday my parents are having a boring party” Momo suddenly said “They said I could invite people from the ballet class so.. You two wanna come?” 

“A fancy rich party?” Awase asked 

“A fancy rich party with heroes.” she answered, nodding. 

“How likely is that they would arrest me for dressing like a homeless person?” Izuku asked 

“Not likely at all! They just wouldn't talk to you” 

“Ok, next question, If I, let’s say, pranked a hero, would I get arrested?” 

“No” she answered with a smile “No because you’d be an honored guest! Doing anything to you would mean offending the Yaoyorozu family” 

He smiled “Then sure, I’ll go” 

They both turned to Awase “I’ll have to see with my parents but I’ll probably go” 

How could he say no to the opportunity to mess with heroes and having them not be able to do anything against him?

Of course, the fact that this was the same event the guy that kidnapped him was talking about had obviously slipped his mind. 

“We should trade numbers so I can send you all the information” 

“Yeah, it’s about time we had a group chat!” Awase readily suggested already saying his number, when he was done they both turned to Izuku 

“Oh, I don't have a phone”

“Why?” 

He shrugged “I never felt the need to have one.. Besides I can’t even read, most things a phone does requires reading” 

Momo frowned and nodded, “Okay, do you know your brother’s number? Maybe I can send the information to him instead so that you have it” 

He shook his head “But he’s not far from here, it’s a thirty minutes walk” 

“Where is he? I can call my chauffeur to take us there” 

“Uh, it’s uh, the Bakalau model agency” 

“Bakugou” Awase corrected 

“Yeah, that!” 

“Okay” 

-

“I can’t let you in” Chiara said “Not without putting you all in the system and that requires you all to have your ID’s with you, which I doubt you do”

“Then could you call my brother here?” Izuku asked while he tiptoed to be able to see her. 

“I can try” She nodded “Why don't you kiddies take a seat over there while I do that?” 

“Okay, thank you Miss” Momo said and started dragging them to the couch area she had been eyeing ever since they got there. It just looked so comfortable. 

She sat down, she was disappointed. 

She was always disappointed by couches. 

“What’s your brother like?” Awase asked 

Izuku didn't hesitate to answer “A chicken” 

Awase nodded “Same, do you have any siblings Yaoyomomo?” 

“No. Mother and Father have no time for children”

“Except you, you mean, right?” 

She didn't answer, Awase tried again “Except you, right?” 

“It’s pointless to think about it” 

“Am I the only one who is being raised normally here???” 

“Probably” “Yep” 

“Takami junior” Chirara yelled, the three walked there again “Sorry, the instructor is not getting my messages, they are probably in the middle of something.. I could call the big boss and see if she allows your entry though” 

“Yes please” Momo said 

“Oh, and where is the bathroom?” Izuku asked. 

“I also need to know” Awase complemented  

She smiled with her phone already dialing “You follow this corridor and take two lefts, it will be the blue door” 

They nodded and skidded off “Be quick!” Momo yelled, damn, why did they have to leave them alone at a time like this? What if the big boss came down? She would have to state their case by herself! Damn, she would hit them later for this treason. 

“She’s coming down now” Chiara said “You can sit over there again, it won’t take long though” 

Momo looked at the direction the boys went and back at the couch. She sat down. What else could she do? 

Two minutes later a woman that had this boss aura came down, she was extremely stylish and just screamed “respect me or perish”. Momo had found a new person to admire. 

“Uh, excuse me uh-” she shyly said coming near her

Mitsuku crouched to her level and smiled “What do you need dear?” 

“So, uh, my friend, his brother is here having modeling classes and we need to talk to him, it’s urgent so we would kindly appreciate if you let us go up” 

“Where is your friend?” 

“The bathroom.” she huffed “They abandoned me, no doubt they were intimidated by your title and decided to flee” 

Mitsuki chuckled “Yes, boys can be quite cowards, what’s your friend's brother's name?” 

“Takami, uh, I don't know his first name.. Izuku calls him chicken” 

Mitsuki felt her breath waver. Izuku? What a shitty coincidence, the universe loved mocking her that’s for sure. She forced a smile “I know who he is, I’ll allow entry, I'd accompany you there but I have a meeting to attend in” she looked at her clock “Five minutes” 

Momo nodded “I understand. I promise you I’ll make sure they don't cause any trouble”

Mitsuki chuckled “Thank you!” 

Momo bowed and then she left. 

It took another five minutes for the two to return. “I got us entry” 

They both shot her a thumbs up and off they went. 

-

Chicken was delighted to meet Izuku’s friends (especially since they weren't psychopaths) and it showed he just couldn't stop smiling, and he smiled even more when he realized he would have company in the boring ball the commission wanted him to go to.

Like sure, he gets it will help him get sponsors and recognition and stuff. 

But he also had no doubt it would be boring as hell. 

Well, with the hatchling there, not so much. 

“Are you leaving with them again or am I taking you home?” 

“Hm.. How long till your class is done?” 

“Ten minutes max” 

“Then I’ll stay” he turned to Momo and Awase “See you sunday!” 

“Cya!” they said as they walked away.  

“So, since you are already here you could-” 

“No. Go talk to him yourself you chicken” 

Chicken frowned “But what if he rejects me?” 

“Nothing would change from the way it is now, would it?” 

“You can be so wise sometimes” 

“I just don't tolerate bullshit Chicken” 

“Fair”

Chapter Text

Chicken tried making him use fancy clothes. 

Chicken was bitten for the attempt. 

Chicken regretted never taking his biting threats seriously, “What the hell, do you have knives for teeth?” 

The little shit smiled and provided him with no answers whatsoever. “You should be glad I changed from my overalls at all” 

“Yeah, hate to break it to you but wearing that isn't better” 

“Well too bad, I’m wearing it” 

He put on; a white hat to match with the top, and his mostly destroyed red sneakers. Honestly he should throw these in the garbage, Murachan stole bought the same freaking shows for him every time he needed new shoes and while it was comfortable he didn't want anything matching with him. Well, anything EXTRA matching with him, the rings were terrible but they came with cake so he could handle them. 

“At least wear a coat” 

“In this economy?” 

“I’m giving them to you” 

“In this weather??”

“It will be cold at night, trust me”

“I trust no one”

“Izu”

“Fine, I’ll wear it with one condition”

“What?”

“It can’t match anything I have on” 

Chicken smiled “I have just the thing” 

He went to the closet, grabbed a coat , it was a beautiful coat, it was huge on him but it was his coat now. “I hope you know, you just lost this forever”

“That’s fine, at least I know you have more than one clothing set now” 

He showed him the middle finger “I have loads of clothes, they are just all either overalls or amazing crop tops.  

“I have never seen you wear anything besides the same overall everyday”

“I change when I’m in ballet class” 

“On daily life Nugget” 

“I just really love overalls okay? Stop judging me”

-

“I thought parties were supposed to have music” Izuku said upon entering the lobby “And joy” he looked around “Ah, at least there is food” 

“Nugget, whatever you do, don’t leave my side” 

“I’ll do you one better, whatever you do, don't lose sight”

“What?” he turned to where he was just standing and he was gone. Kami damnit!

Izuku was on a quest, well, he was on two quests, the main quest was to eat all the food he could fit, the sub quest was to find Awase and Momo, but that one didn't matter as much as the eating one. 

He got to the buffet, he grabbed a mini pie, he put it in his mouth. 

Ugh, olives. He spit it all out on the nearest trash bean. First food was a disappointment. 

“I like your style” a lady said startling him and making him drop whatever that was (he doesn't know the name but it looked like it had chicken on it!) 

He looked at the lady and only one thought crossed his mind: baked rabbit. Toasted rabbit, rabbit rabbit rabbit. Then he noticed her clothes, he couldn't help but nod, she was also one of the few people not wearing formal fancy clothes. 

“Who are you here with?” she pressed 

“Maybe I’m not here with no one and I actually snuck in” 

“Izuku! You came!” Momo’s voice rang out, welp, so much for being dramatic. 

Rabbit lady laughed loudly and walked away. He looked at Momo and she was probably stunning or something but he couldn't focus on her at all, he could only focus on the choker she was wearing, it made her neck look ten times bigger and it had to be extremely uncomfortable. “Is that gold?” he asked 

“Well, hello to you too” 

“Isn't it weighing on you?” 

“A little” she admitted “Mother said it would complement the dress though” 

he looked at the orangei-ish dress and back at her face “You look like a giraffe” 

“ I feel like one too” she mumbled “Anyway have you seen Awase-kun yet?” 

“Nope” 

“He said he’s already here” 

“Well, how hard can it be finding a child in the middle of a bunch of adults and teens?” 

A lot. 

Well, he can’t say that, they did find a child, just not the one they wanted to find. “You are a dinosaur?” the dual colored boy asked, confused upon seeing Izuku’s shirt. 

“rawr” was his answer. 

“Oh Kami” Momo said “So you know what’s written in the shirt and you just decided to wear it anyway” 

“Of course, did you ever doubt that?”

“My father would hate you” the random boy said “Let’s be friends, I’m Shoto” he extended his hand. 

“Huh” where had he heard that name before? “That easy?” 

“Yes, he will be your friend” Momo answered for him 

“HEy!” 

“You need friends” 

He showed her the middle finger. 

“Yes.” Shoto said interrupting them “You are exactly the embodiment of everything father hates.” he nodded to himself “We are best friends now” 

“Do I get a say in this?” 

“No” both Momo and Shoto said at the same time. 

“Well then. Want me to scare your dad?” 

“I don't know how you would do that but yes.” He pointed at the huge flaming trash can “That’s him over there” 

Oh. So that’s where he had heard the name Shoto before. They started walking, having left Momo behind so she could continue her journey of finding Awase “Would you say you perhaps hate your dad?” 

“Yes.” 

“Hmm, would you maybe want him dead?” 

Shoto had stars in his eyes “Yes.”

Welp. This was basically consent right? 

And he didn't want to get kidnapped by that guy again, he didn't know if he survived or not but there was a high possibility, cockroaches never die. 

Yeah, this was enough to justify it right? He looked at Shoto who looked like he never saw an ounce of happiness in his life. 

He was probably already traumatized anyway. No one hates their own dad without reason and scars don’t come out of nowhere! 

He was also dying to test a new theory Momo had come up after he had told them his quirk. So really. 

He should do it. 

“Father, I would like you to meet-” 

“Izuku, it’s a non-pleasure, this actually might be the worst day in my life, and I have had some pretty shitty days so trust me when I say so” 

Endeavor rolled his eyes “Shoto, what are you doing with this homeless person?” 

“I’ll have you know only one of the clothing articles I have on was stolen, though it was technically donated to me so I don't know if it counts” 

“He’s my new best friend” Shoto said “We have a profound connection like no other, I believe someday we will get married, our children will be named Sara, Michael and Bones”

“I’m already married Shou” he showed him his ring 

“No matter, you can marry twice” 

“STOP THIS NONSENSE” 

“Ugh, why do you have to yell, that’s like so not poggers of you” 

“Yes father, there is no need to shout, we can hear you perfectly when you talk” 

“It’s the same sound as a garbage truck crushing trash! It’s indisquidable Mistah Endeavor” 

“indiscernible?” Shoto asked 

“Yeah yeah, same word” 

Shoto nodded, it must be a synonym he didn't know of. 

Izuku giggled at Endeavor’s angry face 

“What is it bestie?” Shoto asked 

“It’s just, I just thought of a joke” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah” he said taking his glasses off and looking into Shoto’s eyes “It’s a really good joke, it says Endeavor’s a threat you should take out, like you do to trash, you crush it in a million pieces” 

Shoto nodded, his head was pounding, that was a good joke, such a good joke, he should crush him, he needed to crush him, he was a threat, a threat a threat, crush, crush, crush, crush, kill, take out the garbage. 

Without taking his eyes off Izuku’s he created an ice spear that went through Endeavor’s throat. 

For a second it was like the world stopped, no one could breath, no one could do anything except watch, Shoto made two extra spears that went through his heart and stomach.

Izuku put his glasses back on and started laughing, Shoto blinked and it was like he was back in control of himself, he looked at his father’s pierced body slowly dying in front of him and he remained stoic. 

“It was a good joke right Shou?” 

Shoto nodded as a bunch of people started running past them trying to help Endeavor. But it was too late. He was dead, he was dead and Izuku was getting some food and getting outta there. 

As he walked with all the calm in the world to the entrance he found Momo and Awase staring at the scene like they were in a trance. 

“I guess that will end the party huh” he said startling the two

Momo narrowed her eyes at him while Awase started freaking out slightly “Did you see that man? I mean of course you saw it, you were right there! What happened?? He just suddenly stabbed him without mercy!!” 

“Did you use your quirk on him?” Momo asked. 

“Holy shit no way right?” Awase said, looking between the two of them, when neither said anything he just stared at Izuku “You didn't, right?” 

“I’ll see you both thursday!” Izuku answered instead and left 

“Holy shit, he totally did it” 

Momo nodded 

“What do we do now?” 

“I don't know” 

-

“Good choice” a literal walking corpse told him out of nowhere, he knew that voice. 

“Bajungus fuck warn a guy!” 

“Bajungos?”

“Wow, Murachan wasn't kidding, you are a zombie, how are you even alive right now?”

“Luck” 

“Do you have any drugs on you? I feel like you would need a lot to not be in iscrutiating pain all the time” 

“Excruciating. And my pain receptors were burned, I feel nothing.” 

“What if I pinched you” 

“Still wouldn't feel it” 

“Why don’t you take the staples and let the dead skin fall off so new-”

“I live on the streets, it wouldn't exactly be clean”

“Oh, where? Until like a month ago I did too” 

“Hosu” 

“Ah, yeah we wouldn't have met. I mostly stayed in Yokohama, anyway, why are you here? I did what you wanted now shoo” 

“I thought you would want some cake but-”

“Let’s gooo!!” he said, grabbing his arm and dragging him through the city. 

“Didn't anyone warn you to be wary of strangers?” 

“You aren't a stranger though, you kidnapped me”

"Exactly"

“I live with someone who kidnapped me, consider another one my brother, am married to another, though that one was less of a kidnapping and more of bribing me to stay but anyway , help an entire gang of people who kidnapped me from time to time in exchange of money.. You aren't special. What’s your name by the way?” 

“Dabi” 

“ Really? You named yourself after your quirk? How lame. But I want your real name” 

“Nope” 

“Come onnn, i further traumatized a child for you! That’s the least you could gimme me” 

He rolled his eyes “Fine, it’s Toya, but call me that and I’ll kill you” 

“Okay Toya” 

He felt it get hot where his arm was tangled with Dabi’s

“Ack! It burns! Stop! I’ll stop!” 

“I told you” 

“Fineee I’ll call you Dabironi”

“Fuckin… Just Dabi” 

“Isn't Dabi short for Dabilson?” 

“No.” 

“Okay Dalberson” 

As Dabi was practically kidnapped to the cake store he wondered what he would do now with his life. Should he give the reform program a try? Maybe actually get himself treated and see his family… 

Yeah. He had no idea. 

Chapter Text

Tsukauchi could finally relax, the last kid’s case had been the hardest one, a freaking orphanage of all places they had to close down and kami, so many kids with trauma and nowhere to go. “Would you like some tea detective?”

“Yeah, thank Kurogiri, you are a blessing” He was techinically a slave that he also had to somehow save, but for now he was a blessing that brought him tea. 

“The boy’s start school tomorrow” Kurogiri reminded him “Is everything in order for them to start?” 

“Yeah.. I’ve barely had time to talk with them these last weeks, how are they?” 

“Like they have always been.” Kurogiri gave him the tea 

“Thank you” He took a sip of the tea. It was so good, Kurogiri was a tea God. 

“ENDEAVOR’S DEAD” Tomura suddenly shouted from his bedroom. 

Tsukauchi almost choked on the tea. 

The kid ran up to the living room holding up his tablet “Number two hero Endeavor died today at the hands of his own son” he read “The attack happened in the middle of a party held by the Yaoyorozu family, when interrogated by the police Shoto Todoroki claimed he felt like if he didn't kill his father right there his best friend would be in danger” his eyes were literally shining “Izuku was at the party” 

Tsuki felt like his soul left his body 

“Izuku was at the party and his quirk does exactly what this Shoto kid described” he started giggling maniacally “First the Mighty Man and now Endeavor” he laughed even harder 

That was the moment Izuku returned home, he felt so light, Daberson really knew how to pick cake. He opened the door and immediately the Detective looked at him with a frown. “Why the long face Tsuki? And why is Murachan giggling?” 

“Izuku..” Tsuki sighed and stood up “I have to take you in for questioning.” 

“No you don't” he answered 

“You are a suspect in the murderer of Endeavor, you have the rights to-” 

“I didn't kill him” true . 

“Did you aid in killing him?” 

“No.” True 

“Did you, in any way, cause his death?” 

He locked eyes with Murachan, he nodded and looked at Kurogiri, the shadow sighed “No” lie. 

“I thought you had agreed to rehabilitate, rehabilitation means no more killing kid”

“I didn't agree to that though.. I agree on going to school” true

“Kid”

“He’s too far gone Detective” Murachan said not once breaking eye contact with him “We both are” true

“You are kids, you aren't too far gone” 

“Are you going to try to arrest me? If you do we will run” true

They needed help, not juvie, help Tsukauchi didn't think he could provide, maybe going to school would help, maybe it wouldn't, maybe the ballet would help, maybe they needed therapy and maybe even that wouldn't help them, but he just couldn't give up on them, because if he did… If he did there would be no chance at all of them reforming. 

“No. No, I won’t..”

That shocked the three villains, they were ready to book it, worse case scenario they were ready to kill him. But this..

“Why?” 

“You deserve a chance of having a normal childhood” He turned to Tomura “You both do” 

“We will keep doing it” Tomura said challenging him “We will keep going until society has crumbled and every hypocritical hero is dead” 

“And I’ll keep trying to convince you both you don't need to do that. I’ve been failing in that department for the last month I admit, and I don't really know what I’m doing” he chuckled “But I’ll try” 

“Why?” Izuku asked again 

“Because neither of you ever had someone positive in your lives and I want to change that. Izuku.. Can I hug you?”  

“No” 

“That’s okay. Whenever you want, I’ll wait” 

“You are weird” he said

He chuckled “Yeah, I guess I am” 

-

Tsukauchi woke up at four am after hearing a weird noise, it’s nothing he told himself turned and closed his eyes. 

Two minutes later he heard the noise again, accompanied by some creepy laughter. could be a demon his brain supplied but it’s nothing. 

Another three and he was standing up grabbing his gun and walking towards the noise. 

He checked the living room first, there was nothing there, it was creepy though, all the cushions were missing, then he checked Tomura’s room, the kid was sleeping without a care in the world. He checked Kurogiri’s, “Is everything alright detective?” 

“Did you hear anything?” 

“Hm, just a cat meowing loudly near here” 

“No crazy laughter?” 

“No?” 

“Okay” he closed the door and opened the last one, Izuku’s. 

Izuku wasn't there. 

Okay, he closed the door and started looking for him, first he checked the game room, no Izuku, then the kitchen, nope, he wasn't in the office either, nor in any of the other rooms. 

He went to Kurogiri’s bedroom again “I don’t want to cause chaos but, Izuku’s missing” 

“Have you checked under his bed?” 

“Why would he be under his bed?” 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Kurogiri stood up and walked with him towards Izuku’s bedroom, he crouched in front of the bed and raised the mattress so he could see under it. 

There was Izuku curled up around all the cushions of the house, he wasn't wearing any blankets even though he was obviously shivering. Kurogiri tried teleporting a blanket right above him so he would be covered but that made him wake up, “ don need it ” he mumbled trying to push the blanket away 

“You are shivering” Kurogiri tried arguing “You’ll catch a cold” 

“ immune ” 

“No you aren't” 

Izuku mumbled something they couldn't understand and turned to the other side “Kid, is the bed uncomfortable?” Tsuki asked

He shook his head 

Kurogiri put a hand on Tsukauchi’s shoulder and motioned to the door. 

Once outside they walked to the living room and Kuro made him some tea “Why?” 

“Sometimes he does that, specially if he’s anxious” 

“Why would he be?” 

“Well, either because tomorrow is their first day at school or because you essentially declared you’ll be their father from now on” 

He frowned “It must be uncomfortable” 

“He’s used to it Detective, besides, it is definitely a step up from the usual dumps he slept at” 

“Maybe I should buy him a-” 

“He won't use it, I’ve tried… You should go back to bed Detective” 

He nodded and walked away. 

As soon as he was gone Kurogiri turned to the snake in his bedroom and glared “I know a lot of perfectly good recipes with snake meat” 

It was like the snake laughed at him and slithered away. 

He would have to keep an eye on that damned creature. 

-

Izuku looked at the uniform Tsukauchi was holding in front of them, looked at Prinny, looked at the uniform again but unfortunately the uniform mysteriously decayed. A shame really. 

“Tomura.”

“It had a bug in it” He said shrugging

Tsuki sighed “Let’s just go or you’ll both be late” 

“We have Kuro, nothing is ever too far that will make us be late” 

“Yeah, think like that and you will” 

Kurogiri opened the portal for them while shaking his head, “Stay safe” he said before they went 

“When haven't we?” Izuku shot back with a grin and passed through. 

To no one’s surprise the walk from the main gate to their classroom was spent with many watching eyes, some were just curious, others were judging them. 

They just ignored them though, it was easy to do so, their whole lives they had done so. “Alright boys, this is it. I’ll pick you both up so don't go wandering alone” 

“You’ll pick us up?” Tomura shot him with distrusting eyes “Don't you mean Kuro?” 

“It will be a collective effort on our parts” 

While they argued Izuku had gone inside, there weren't many people and almost no one was wearing a uniform. From the looks of it everyone was around ten to thirteen years old. 

He found a random seat near the door and just… waited. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. No one talked to him, he didn't talk with anyone either, he just laid his head down on the table and waited for something to happen. 

“If this turns out boring we ditch it right?” Murachan said as he sat down behind of him 

He nodded 

“Good” 

The door opened, Dragon lady was here. 

“Alright younglings, welcome to Shiketsu, I am Ryukyu and I’ll be your teacher for the year, the way this will work is, you cause a ruckus, you are out, you are all here because you have been shoved in the life of villainy in a young age and want to change that so if you don't plan on taking this seriously, the door is right there.” 

She waited for a few seconds to see if anyone would leave, when no one did she smiled “Alright, before we start I’d like you all to introduce yourselves and your schooling level, this class will focus on individual improvement so it’s important that we all know were our comrades are so we can accomodate to do that.” 

Everyone ignored her, she sighed “Alright how about this then, raise your hand if you received basic education” A good portion of the class did so, she nodded “Raise your hands if you can’t read or write” 

Four people, Izuku included, raised their hands. She nodded “Alright, raise your hand if you have killed people before” 

Seven people raised their hands, “Raise your hand if you regret it” 

Five people raised their hands. She nodded, “Alright, raise your hands if you have deadly quirks” 

“Dragon lady, every quirk is deadly if you use it right” A girl said, making everyone snicker. 

Ryukyu frowned  “I’ll start with the roll call” 

-

At some point of the day she had six different lessons going on at the same time for different groups of students, the group of kids who never went to school ever were the ones she gave most of her attention though, while the others she asked them to write an essay and answer numerous questions so she could actually assess their levels. 

Izuku just didn't get it, why was Japanese so difficult to write?? Did they want people to never learn their own language??? 

“I get it’s frustrating” She said after noticing their angry expressions at the pieces of paper in front of them 

“Your face is frustrating” a red-head shot back. 

“Hmm, what if I taught you all some insults first? Would that motivate you all?” 

“Yes!” 

She chuckled “Alright” 

-

“Alright, lunch time!” dragon lady announced out of nowhere. 

“Can we stay here?” a kid asked 

“Yeah, outside is gonna be a battlefield” another commented 

“People always hurt what they hate” The red-haired one said. “And they hate us teach” 

Ryukyu frowned “I suppose you can stay here until the hype is over, however you all will have to go out and socialize at some point” 

Everyone nodded and started taking their bentos out. Meanwhile Izuku and Tomura looked at each other. 

They didn't have any food. 

“ It’s not like we haven’t spent long periods without eating…” 

“ But we already got used to being fed Izu, we are gonna suffer” 

He shrugged “ Will it really be that bad?”

“ yes ” 

“Fine” he groaned and stood up “Let’s get this over with then” 

-

“Well, well, well. If it isn't the villain course” 

“Thought they were all too cowards to come out from that room” 

“Is it true you all have trauma???” 

“Is it true a bunch of you have killed people before?” 

“What is it like being a villain?” 

“Are you all going to kill us???” 

“Hah, losers” 

“Pests” 

“Just die!” 

“What? Yall thought you could change? Villains aren't people” 

“Monsterrrs~” 

“Whoops” a guy said spilling juice on them both “I didn't see you” 

“Oh noe! My quirk” he said letting electricity flow to them “I slipped” He would never slip again, Tomura made sure of it as he decayed his legs after Izuku started convulsing on the ground

Another person tried to stab them with a fork on their way back to their class, Izuku obviously showed them how to do it right.  

“Freaks” “villains” “disgusting” “dying would be doing a favor for society” “villains in a hero school? what a joke” 

Tomura closed the door with the force of hatred and stared at the hero . “Someone tried to stab us” She stood up. “And another person electrified us while we were wet because oh, guess what, they fucking spilled juice on us” She looked horrified 

“Did you see their faces?” 

“No, but one of them is probably screaming and crying about not having his fingers and the other about not having legs anymore” Tomura said 

“I did.” Izuku said “I know exactly what they look like and their names” 

“Kid, tell me and they’ll face the consequences” 

He nodded “You are right sensei, they will” 

He didn't give any information though

-

When the day was over Izuku felt wiser, he also felt incredibly tired, pissed and in need of food. “I’m staaarving” he said clinging on Murachan. Murachan yawned “Me too” 

“We will be right home, don't worry, Kurogiri prepared a feast for you” Tsuki said looking equally pissed. 

“He better have” 

“I’ll riot if he hasn't have done do it”  

“Izuku?” 

“Is it possible to lose brain function while learning too much?” 

Tsukauchi chuckled when Tomura nodded as serious as ever. 

Later they had both taken showers and eaten. 

When Tsuki tried talking to them about what happened though, they simply ignored him and went to Izuku’s bedroom. 

Several hours later Izuku was walking in through the front door with Prinny around his neck and a few drops of blood on his clothes. 

Tsukauchi closed his eyes and hugged him. 

He didn't really push him away, he didn't do anything really. Just let him hug him and when he was done he grabbed a snack and went back to his bedroom.

Chapter Text

The weird noise was there again. 

It was definitely a demon laughing, or well, someone laughing, there was no doubt about that. 

He looked on Tomura’s bedroom, he was sleeping like dead. He looked at Kurogiri’s and the shadow didn't hear anything. 

He looked at Izuku’s and the kid was sitting at his desk, the snake around his neck, and he was trying to learn how to write by himself. “Do you want an autograph?” Izuku asked upon noticing him just standing there.. watching

“What are you doing up? It’s three am” 

“I couldn't sleep, so I decided to plan”

“Plan?” 

“Yes, why are you up Tsuki?”   

“I heard some creepy laughter” he sat on Izuku’s bed “Did you hear anything?” 

“No..” 

He sighed “I’m going insane, this is the second night I hear some creepy laughing and it’s nothing” 

“Maybe you are just stressed” 

“Perhaps.. Do your plans involve you going back to sleep?”

“Nope” 

“Want some company?” 

“I have company, Prinny is keeping me company” 

“She’s a snake” 

Izuku deadpanned “And that invalidates her because..?”    

“She can’t talk” 

“Yes she can, we just can’t understand her, well, you can’t” 

“Are you telling me you understand a snake?” 

He shrugged and caressed her with his cheeks “In a way” 

“Does she have a quirk?” 

Izuku chuckled and shook his head, yeah, it definitely wasn't his laughter that he heard before “If she did I doubt we would ever know..” 

He hummed and started dozing off “Are you okay?” 

“mhm” 

He yawned “Look kiddo what happened yesterday..” 

“It won't happen again” 

“If it does, you don't have to go back there. I can hire a private tutor, I can find a way” 

“... why do you care so much? ”

“I just do” he closed his eyes unable to keep them open any longer 

“... thank you” 

Izuku watched the man sleeping in his bed for a few minutes until he resumed what he was doing. 

Tomorrow, they would incite a war. 

-

“I have a plan” Izuku said as soon as Tomura was awake. 

Tomura smiled “Tell me all about it” 

“There are people who don't wish us harm there, I saw them, they pitied us with those eyes” he scoffed “We can use that”

“Pitch one side against the other” 

“And they’ll destroy themselves without us even having to lift a finger” 

Tomura kissed his forehead “My genius” 

“Ew” he pushed him away and let Prinny get on him “I’m not yours anything, let’s go” 

“Hmm” he grabbed his hand as they passed the portal “You are my spouse though” 

“and you own me cake” 

-

“So that’s my plan” 

“And you want me to be the victim in this because..?” the little red haired girl asked 

“Because people will rally more because of your face” 

“And your gender” Izuku finished for him “It’s stastictically proven that it will be the girls that will rally first because they have more common sense, so, if the person they are defending also happens to be a girl, their empathy levels will sky rocket!” 

“What do I get If I do that?” 

“Front seat row to the chaos.” Tomura said 

“And we won’t kill you!” Izuku said smiling “Sounds like a good bargain right?”

When she was about to say no Tomura casually decayed her water bottle “Whoops, I’m so clumsy” 

“He’s so clumsy” 

“We never know what or who I can accidentally touch next..” 

“It’s truly a problem” 

“Aren't you here to reform?” she asked a little frightened 

“No” they both answered at the same time. 

Izuku finished it with a smile “So?” 

-

A teen from the hero course ran all the way from the cafeteria to the teacher’s office, he was completely out of breath as he opened the door and shouted “A FIGHT’S BROKEN OUT IN THE CAFETERIA!” 

All the teachers started running towards it, when they arrived they noticed it was a bloodbath, a few of the hero kids were literally killing each other while everyone else screamed something. “Who started this?” Fancy Spirit asked. 

“I don't know!” the kid answered “I was just eating as usual when this little girl from the villain course started crying and then everyone started shouting at each other and now..” 

They all watched as a regular knife flew right into a kid’s neck. 

“Shit” the hero cursed “EVERYONE STOP” she shouted, nobody listened “we need backup” 

One of the teachers tried walking there to stop them but it was an all out war, he was attacked on all sides, he returned huffing “It’s like they have gone insane!!” he reported back 

“They don't even seem to have recognized us” A wall blew up it’s pieces smashing a few people “What the fuck is happening?” 

Fancy Spirit started deploying energy everywhere to make them stop fighting, even as they were restrained by her quirk, they still kept trying to kill each other like rabid dogs. 

And then all of the sudden they stopped. 

They stopped and watched as a green haired villain kid with a snake on his neck walked in the middle of them and said with all the calm in the world “I thought heroes weren't supposed to kill” he chuckled as realization seemed to wash over their faces “None of you are any better than any of us” he shook his head “So stop trying to pretend you are” 

He said and walked off. As he passed the stunned teachers he shook his head and mumbled “ so much for future heroes” 

-

[“Massacre in Shiketsu! It seems a few students didn't like the idea of villains in a hero school” 

“A true shame I would say, really shows some heroes just want to fight villains instead of helping people” 

“I know right! Anyway, although many think this was caused by a villain student, whose name shan’t be shared, everyone can agree the same one was the one that broke the fight”

“Ironic isn't it? That a villain stopped a hero fight”]

“Did you do it?” Tsuki asked as soon as he saw them. “Did you use your quirk on them?” 

“No.” true “But they’ll blame me anyway”  

“Why then? Why did they just attack each other??” 

Izuku shrugged “Maybe they were just too stressed” he said patting Prinny “Stress can make people do crazy shit” 

[“It’s believed this same kid was the one responsible for a massacre a few weeks ago know as the cake massacre”

A video clip clumsily filmed from a window showed the kid in front of all the heroes wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses in the middle of the night ‘I just wanted some cake’ 

‘ and i just wanted to sleep’ the person filming the video answered and the clip ended

“Apparently on the previous day a few hero students had attempted murder on him and his partner while unprovoked” 

“It really brings the question, what are our heroes teaching these students for them to try killing little kids” 

“The villain students attacked are both ten and twelve years old respectively" 

“We can’t help but wonder what even led them to this life so soon” 

“At least they are trying to change for the better Lex” 

“That they are Lux, that they are”]

Keigo sighed as he watched the news, they didn't even need to mention Izuku’s name for him to know it was him. Damnit! 

“Do you want me to turn off the news, Takami?” 

“Ah, no, no need, what were you saying?” 

“Right! The information you have compiled so far on the commission is impressive, however I would like you to plant this virus on their servers” Nedzu said, giving him a pendrive. “Do this for me and you’ll be free” 

“Right, any computer?”

“Indeed” 

He looked at the TV and back at the rat “Yeah” he shot him a lazy smile “I can do that” 

[“UA principal, Nedzu and Shiketsu principal, Oracle, have scheduled a press conference to discuss on the matter, however Nedzu has stated that no similar problems have happened at UA and that the fault of this accident is solely a response of the kid’s educations” 

“Shiketsu principal retaliated saying that if their education is so faulty then maybe UA should be the only one to have this program”

“UA principal, Nedzu, agreed.”] 

“Damn kids, you caused a ruckus” 

“Does this mean they’ll expel us and we will have to go to UA?” Izuku asked, amused by the news. 

“Who knows” 

“Aw, I was starting to like Ryukyu” Tomura said 

Izuku hugged his legs, UA huh… Nedzu was too smart, they wouldn't be able to do anything, or well, at least, nothing on this scale. Maybe the rodent had somehow planned this to take out the competition.. Izuku wouldn't put it past him. He looked at Tomura and said “You owe me some cake” 

“Oh yeah! Let’s go then” 

-

“I doubt they’ll end the program two days after it’s release” Tomura said as he watched Izuku eating cake 

He shrugged “We never know with these heroes” 

“True.. Is it good?” 

“I’m not sharing with you” 

“I didn't ask you that” 

“Then yes, it is good” 

He nodded “If I..” he started approaching his finger onto the cake, Izuku grabbed the stretched finger 

“What do you think you are doing?” 

“Testing something” 

“Well, you won't be testing anything, If you get even an inch closer I’ll stop talking with you for a week.” 

“Fiine” he sighed and retreated his hand “Why did you stop threatening that you’d bite me?” 

He shoved the rest of the cake on his mouth “becawse yu r a maniac” he swallowed “That fucking likes it” 

“That’s ridiculous” 

“No. You are ridiculous” 

“You are both ridiculous” a third voice says grumpily. 

“Hobo pedo man! wait, i shouldn't sound so happy. ” he huffed “What do you want?” 

“First of all, I’ve said this a million times, I’m a hero” 

“That just makes it worse” Tomu said, Izuku nodded to his words 

“Secondly, the scarf isn't for that” 

“That’s what you say but…” he shook his head “I can’t trust your words” 

Aizawa rolled his eyes and walked to the counter 

“I have an order for Hizashi Yamada” He said to the attendant, the guy nodded and went inside to fetch it. 

“What’s the cake for?” The problem demon asked appearing next to him like a demon

“It’s none of your business” 

“Is that your name?” 

“No, it’s my friend’s name” 

“What is it for?” 

“Eating” 

Izuku rolled his eyes “I know that, but you don't look like the type to fully enjoy cake” 

“Cake’s fine” 

“See, you don’t enjoy it” 

The attendant returned with a huge strawberry and sweet milk cake. Izuku’s mouth started watering. “Mr. Hobo man, you should kidnap me” 

“No.” 

“I’m gonna kill everyone in a huge mall if you don’t kidnap me and take me to the place the cake will be eaten” 

“You are a child” 

“I’ve killed more for less Mr. Hobo man” 

“Again. You are a child” 

“Did you forget last time we met I was literally in the station for stabbing a person?” 

“No it wasn't, we met after the problem detective adopted you” 

“He didn't adopt us” 

“Yes he did” he started walking out, Izuku followed him 

“No, we don't even share a last name.. Oh speaking of that” he turned to where his spouse was sitting “Murachan, imma self kidnap myself to the hobo’s house! Cya later!” 

Tomura rolled his eyes and also left the shop, no use staying there if Izuku wasn't there. There was an arcade just down the street that was begging for his money, how could he say no?

“No you aren't” Hobo man insisted 

He turned to a random person and took off his glasses, the person punched another in the throat and Aizawa used his quirk on him. Izuku glared “That’s fine!” he said, forcing a smile, then his smile became real and he pulled a knife out of his pocket “I don't need a quirk to kill someone!” Before he could stab someone Aizawa held his hand “Fine, I’ll kidnap you. Kami kid” 

His smile was blinding.

Chapter Text

“EEEEK” 

“For kami’s sake stop yelling all the time” 

“SHOOOU, YOU HAVE A CHILD WITH YOU!” 

Izuku hid behind Shota and waved shyly. 

“HI LITTLE LISTENER!!” 

“Stop pretending to be cute, we both know you are a demon”

The child pouted “You are no fun problem hobo man”  

Aizawa scoffed and shoved the cake on Zashi’s hands “I brought the damn cake, now you deal with him”

“So.. You are Presentation Michael right?”  

Aizawa laughed as Mic blue screened. No civilian had ever recognized him with his hair down. “How did you know?” 

“My stupid spouse made me learn all the dumb heroes faces” 

“I’m sorry, your WHAT?” 

He showed his hand “My spouse, gee, learn to listen old man” 

“ How is a child married before I even get a date? ” Mic started having an existential crisis. 

“Anyway I came for cake, can we eat now?” 

“No! We have to wait for everyone else to get here” 

Izuku looked scandalized “B-But! More people means less cake!” 

“It’s not about the cake little listener, it’s about the joy of eating it with your friends” 

His face contorted to what could only be described as a mix of bafflement and disgust. “That’s just- No.” 

“Nem’s five minutes away” Mr. Hobo man said turning the TV on, putting on mute and practically throwing himself on the couch “She said she’s dragging that dude that stole her win today” 

“Ahh, engines for arms dude??!” Mic asked excitedly as he also threw himself on the couch almost sitting on Shouta in the process. 

Shouta shrugged, meanwhile Izuku threw himself on Shota’s other side and said “You don't look happy by this development, why don’t you tell them not to come?” 

“That’s not gonna work problem demon” 

“I’m not trying anything” 

He rolled his eyes “Sure. And you-” he turned to Zashi “Stop smiling like that” 

“I’m not smiling” He said unable to stop smiling

“I know what you are thinking. And my answer is still no” 

“But Shooo! You are so good at it! Imagine how many little future heroes you could help with your insight!” 

“I am not accepting that damn rat’s proposal” 

“And yet you agreed to watch his declaration together” 

Aizawa looked at the child “I wasn't going to stay” 

“ Suuuure ” Mic said rolling his eyes “I tooootally believe you” 

There was a knock in the door and accompanied by the knock was a woman shouting “HELLOOO~” 

“WHOO IS ITTTT~?” Mic answered 

“THE BRINGER OF POOOOOOPCOOOORN~” 

Mic giggled and hopped over to the door. 

Aizawa looked at the child staring intensely at the cake “No cake’s worth this, kid, there is still time to escape”

“I’ll escape if you don't try to stop me from taking the cake with me” 

“I’m considering this.” he sighed “Im seriously considering this.” 

“Come oon problem hobo man. Join the dark side~” he started waving his hand “We have cookies” 

“HELL YEAH” Mic shouted from the door and rushed back inside with two more mouths to feed “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THE LIL LISTENER KNEW ENGLISH!” 

“How the hell would I know” 

Izuku smiled “I’m impressive right?” 

“YOU ARE!” 

“That means I deserve half the cake to myself right?” 

Mic grinned “You want to make a bet with me?” 

“No..” 

“Uh, who’s the kid?” Engine arms asked. 

“YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THERE WAS A KID HERE!!” Midnight yelled 

Aizawa shrugged “Whoops” 

“What’s the bet?” Izuku asked ignoring everyone 

“Simple, next year I’m going to start teaching at UA. Pass my English test and half the cake is yours.” 

“I can’t write or read in kanji” he said “But as long as the test is entirely in english I can do it” 

“Wait, you can’t write nor read?” 

He shook his head 

“THAT’S PERFECT!” No man has ever been so happy by someone’s lack of education “I’LL PRACTISE TEACHING ON YOU THEN!”  

“I never agreed to this” 

“YOU WILL IF YOU WANT CAKE!” He said smiling. 

He nodded “I do want cake.. And my school does have a probability of ending the program… Fiiiine, you can practise teaching on me” 

Mic grabbed his hand, made him get up, spun him two times, hugged him and then let go and started doing a small dance to himself. 

Meanwhile Midnight had taken to eating the popcorn. 

“ Why am I the only one concerned with this child? ” Engine arms mumbled, his only mistake was that he wasn't the only one concerned.  

“Oi, problem child, why don't you know how to write or read?” 

He shrugged “It’s a little hard to learn when you are homeless” 

Aizawa patted his hair and then slapped his head lightly “You little shit threw my coffee away even knowing how food is hard to come by?!” 

“I was homeless, not desperate!” he argued back “And coffee is shit!” 

Engine arms gasped “yOU tAKe thAT BAck!!” 

They all looked at him, Aizawa with newfound respect, Midnight and Mic surprised and Izuku annoyed. 

Izuku crossed his arms and huffed “No.” 

“One day kid, you will understand the magic of coffee” Midnight said 

He shook his head “That will never happen” 

Aizawa rolled his eyes landing on Engine Arms “Who are you by the way?” 

“IIda Tensei!” he happily said “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m-” he laughed a bit “I’m a fan” 

“Ooooo Shoooou, you have a fan!” Mic cheered 

Aizawa narrowed his eyes “A fan?” 

“Yeah man!” he scratched the back of his head “We are the same age but you already are doing your own thing.. I’m still stuck as a sidekick” 

“Just don't then. I’m doing my own thing because I refused to work on a shitty agency” 

Mic giggled “No agency wanted him” 

“I- You-” Aizawa frowned “Just- shut up. Anyway, they were too snotty and media whores anyway, I didn't need them, so, I just used my license, no agency needed to do good” 

“People thought he was a vigilante at first” 

“Some still do” Midnight completed and sat next to Izuku, he stole her popcorn for himself. If he imagined it hard enough, it would taste like cake, he used to do that all the time when he ate from garbage cans. 

“I never thought of doing that..” Tensei laughed and sat down on the only avaible spot, the lone armchair “Well, I feel stupid now” 

“More stupid than when you accidentaly stole my win?” Midnight provoked 

“Well- No.” 

“How does one accidentaly steal a win?” Izuku asked 

“They are too fast to stop and a bird poops on their face and then they smash their whole body on a villain that just so happened to be on the way and then everyone claps and the hero already on scene glares because, of course she had it under control..” 

“The bird was the true MVP” Izuku said. Aizawa nodded quietly. 

“Anyway! I’m more interested in who you are!”

Izuku pointed at Aizawa “He kidnapped me here” 

“At your request” 

“Threatned me to eat aaaall the cake!” 

“He literally tried to stab a person if I didn't bring him here” 

“So of course, I have no other choice” Izuku shrugged “I must eat the cake, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make” 

“Not before you take my test!” Mic said going to his office. 

“Right” Izuku sighed “They are also making me work for the cake. The man you admire is a villain, Engine Arms. Oh, by the way, do you have a younger brother who looks like a car?” 

Tensei blinked, confused by the change of topic “No..? I mean, I do have a younger brother, but he just looks normal??” 

“Let me ask this again, do you have a younger brother who has engines for legs?” 

“H-How did you know?” 

“Oh cool, tell him I’m going for his knees” 

“WHAT??” 

Izuku smiled, he finally had a lead on that routine-lover fucker. He’d show him how fun routines could be. 

Mic returned with a paper full of questions and shoved the paper and a pen in Izuku's hands. He turned to the TV, alright, “You have thirty minutes to finish that!” 

“I’ve never taken a test in my entire life” Izuku said, amazed by the things in his hand. First question. His name. He looked up at Mic and frowned “Is this a trick question? Why do you need my name?” 

“You don't have to answer that if you don’t want to little listener” 

“Then why put it?” 

“It’s the template” 

“But why?” 

“The teacher’s gotta know who is taking the class in a large class” 

“Makes sense” He nodded and wrote his name. 

Alright, now the actual first question! 

Why.. why is.. Why - He can't even phrase this. - Why do words need rules? Is the best his brain managed to come up with. It made absolutely no sense, like, wasn't it enough to just know how to phrase things??? You had to understand why??? 

This- This was absolutely ridiculous!!! 

Once he was done with the questions he flipped the paper over and started writing in perfect english why everything about the questionare was stupid and useless. 

“Time’s UUUUUP!” 

[“Good night listeners all over Japan!” 

“This is Lux” 

“And Lex” 

“And we are back with more hero news!” 

“This morning marked the second day of the new villain rehabilitation course in both UA and Shiketsu”]

“Grade while we watch, it’s starting” Aizawa said 

“Yeah, I can multitask!” 

Alright, he skipped over the name and started grading, if he wanted to grade while he was teaching, he would need to learn to multitask anyway. 

[“It also marked Shiketsu’s massacre, after an entire afternoon of deliberation UA principal, Nedzu and Shiketsu’s principal, Oracle have finally come to a conclusion” 

“Is this the end of the short villain rehab?” 

“Or a new beginning?” 

“Pro hero Midnight has her victory stolen by one of the Battery’s sidekicks” 

"Ingenium has publicly apologized for it and the two were seen eating together in a restaurant” 

“Could this be the beginning of a new hero partnership?” 

“Or even something more?”

“That and more on today’s news!” 

Tan dan dan dan tan dan dan tan ] 

“Stupid vultures!” Midnight said about to toss the pillow on the TV, 

“And yet you all insist on staying in the limelight.. Idiots” she tossed it on Aizawa instead because she needed support, not a direct attack on her life choices. 

[“What should have been a peaceful morning started with a massacre” 

“Forty hero students were gravely injured and another fifteen have been confirmed dead”

“The culprit? No one but themselves” 

“And the high tensions of studying with villains”] 

“I can’t even imagine going to school with a villain” Tensei said “And I went to Shiketsu, that could have been me!” 

“The villain students were just kids” Aizawa defended “The hero course shouldn't have dealt it like this, I would have expelled them all”

Mic smirked and nudged him “If you were a teacher…” 

“Don't dare finishing that sentence”

[“What started as an argument over an abusive stance towards the villain students ended with a nasty fight between the hero course” 

“UA principal, Nedzu and Shiketsu’s principal Oracle are about to give a press conference about their next step” 

“Over the course of the day Nedzu and Oracle publicly argued on Pwitter about the quality of their educational systems, according to Nedzu, no similar accidents occurred at UA, which shows the difference between educational styles between the two schools” 

“Oracle answered back that ‘If your system is so superior then maybe UA should host this program by itself’ and Nedzu in another post, agreed” 

“Now, after a day waiting for the official saying they are finally answering the questions we all have” 

“Is the program going to end?” 

“What will happen to the villain kids if it does?” 

“We will be right back after a commercial break!”] 

{Is your skin too dry?} 

Izuku was at the edge of his seat. “Woah, what’s got you all worked up kid?” Midnight asked 

“I don't want to go to UA” he said 

“Okay..?” she answered confused 

“What if Shiketsu decides to end it and we all have to go to UA?” he shook his head 

“We?” Tensei asked 

{Does your skin flake, and make you look like an old man?}

“Yeah” he fixed his glasses “I’m in the villain rehab” 

“Aaaa~” Mic smiled “I HAVE FINISHED GRADING!” 

“Did you look at the verse?” 

He turned the paper over and sighed “I have not finished grading” 

{Well, you should worry no more! We at Detnerat have come up with the solution!} 

“How old are you?” Tensei asked 

“Why do you wanna know?” 

“Shota.. Why did you bring him here?” 

{Revive cream is a new brand of cream made specially for you all dryinlings!}

“I already said, he threatened to kill some people If I didn't” Aizawa shrugged 

“Okay, why didn't you take him to the station then?” 

“He just wants cake” 

Izuku nodded “I just want cake”

{End your skin problems today! At any pharmacies near you!}

“How did you even- You are way too young” 

{ moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize now, moisturize today, moisturize always} 

Izuku frowned “How old do you even think I am?” 

“Eight” 

“BLASPHEMY!”  

{ sideeffectsmayincludeitchingredpatchesofskinasensationofburningheadachesandsomemoremedicalprescritionisadviced} 

“How old are you then?” 

“Ten.” 

“Oh, you are the same age as Tenya”

“Who is Tenya?” 

“My younger brother” 

“Oh. Car person” 

“Why do you call him that?” 

“His hair. Is just too.. I don't know the word. It just made me remember of a car” 

“I don't even know how to react to that” 

“You don't have to.. Michael, can I eat cake now?” 

Aizawa laughed again, he loved this ki- No. No he didn't. He hated all children. They were evil demon spawns and this one was no different. 

{Have four eyes and myopia? Well! Worry not! Here at Detnerat we take care of everyone}

“Yeah little listener. You can eat all the cake now, uh, Shota, can I uh talk to you in the office?” 

“We are gonna miss the press conference” 

“Just-” 

{No matter how quirky you are, you have four arms? We will make clothes for you, wings? We can work with that! Eyes that shoot lasers if they are open?! We got just the thing for you!}

“It’s important” 

Aizawa rolled his eyes “Fine, but be quick, I don't want to miss it” 

{Get your personalized things today! We are one email away} 

Izuku watched them going while he served himself some cake. They looked so serious..

Chapter Text

{Do you ever feel like a paper bag?}

“What is it Mic?”

{Feel like all your choices in life aren't leading you nowhere?}

“He, he signed his name, his last name, Sho, his last name is Shirakumo” 

{Well, worry not! This new pill will work perfectly for you}

“It’s probably a coincidence.. Right? O..Oboro died... It’s a coincidence” Mic said 

“But what if it isn't” 

“Sho..” 

“We have to ask him, and you think the same otherwise you wouldn't have called me here” 

{“I took the pill} - a fourteen year old said - {And suddenly life was beautiful!”} 

“Just.. Let’s not get our hopes up, okay?”

“Y-yeah, obviously, I mean..” 

“You already have, haven't you?” Aizawa deadpanned 

{I took the pill} - a hero said - {And now my work productivity has skyrocketed!}

“Even if it’s not him, what are the odds?! We should keep an eye on the kid.. to make sure he has a good life and-”

“Tsukauchi adopted him, he will be fine Mic. After the press conference  I’ll take him home and ask about the name, okay?” 

“Yeah.. Okay” 

{Buy Croppi today and end your worries, at the pharmacies near you!} 

When they walked back inside the living room Nemuri and Tensei were bickering with each other while the kid just ate cake, what the hell had happened in the minute they were out? 

Aizawa put a hand on Izuku’s shoulder “ Once this is over I’m taking you home”

Izuku nodded, it beat walking. 

{Medical prescription is advised.} 

[ Tan dan dan dan tan dan dan tan ] 

[“We are back with a live feed from the press conference, Lex, how are things out there?” 

Lex smiled and nodded at the camera for a while, after thirty seconds she answered “Things are looking good, Nedzu and Oracle have both arrived and are about to start!” 

“Thank you all for joining us today” Oracle said 

“it’s starting” Lex said and the camera focused only on them.

“I’m sure what happened today must have been a shock for everyone” Nedzu said “It certainly was for me!” 

 “For the both of us, we could have never imagined the lack of empathy from the students” 

“Yes.. We would like to calm everyone down though, the program will not end, after much deliberation we have concluded that it will do more harm than good to end it” 

“The students involved in the incident will be expelled and they will be paying indemnification to the students who got hurt. We plan on opening up the classes for the older kids next week” 

“There have also been several new hires! I’m sure you all will be glad to see the faces that protect you teaching villains and heroes alike how to be better” 

*“Who are the new hires”* A random reporter asked 

“Now now, we don’t want to spoil anything” Nedzu answered] 

“Did you accept Oracle’s invitation, Nem?” Mic asked 

“Yeah, after what happened today…They need my quirk” 

“Don't do it only for your quirk” Aizawa said 

She shrugged “Who knows, maybe I’ll enjoy teaching” 

“I would have never pictured you as a teacher” Ingenium said 

“That’s why you never get anywhere” She shot back “You lack vision” 

“My whole motto is getting to places fast” 

She raised an eyebrow “Your point? You have more than proven you can get to places without having visual” 

“I-” 

[*“Can you comment about the pweets this morning?”* 

“Surely, Shiketsu will be going through some educational changes over the next few years” 

“Yes.” Oracle didn't look too happy about this “We can’t change every school in this country; however we are adapting an education model that puts the students in the center of their own education. It will be unlike what any hero school has ever seen.. In Japan that is. The model is inspired by the way Finland has their educational system, good things are coming to Shiketsu and if the villain reform program ends an success we are thinking of opening up a middle school branch. Before anyone asks, no, It won’t be hero centered” 

“Any other questions?” Nedzu asked after Oracle’s self promotion. 

Several hands shot up.] 

“It’s getting late, this whole press thing ended up as a publicity stunt for Shiketsu and the kid needs to go home. I’ll see you all again maybe never” Aizawa said and started walking towards the door pushing Izuku with him. 

“I’m going too” Ingenium said “I promised Tenya I’d organize my room with him..” 

At their baffled faces he added “Yeah, he’s weird, I don't know” 

As Aizawa pushed Izuku towards the door he managed to steal the rest of the cake for himself. He didn't care that he lost the bet, he never promised he wouldn't steal it if he didn't pass. 

“I’m stealing your car” Aizawa said grabbing Mic’s keys 

“Sure! You coming back here after you drop him off?” 

“No.” He answered and opened the door “Maybe” they stepped out and closed the door. 

“Alright problem child, let’s get you home” 

-

It took a while for Aizawa to notice he had stolen the cake, he laughed when he did. 

“So, problem child-” 

“I’ve never been in a regular car before.. This is weird. I feel weird” 

“Please don’t puke here, the car’s not mine but if you do, I’ll do it too, and that will create a whole ass mess that we will both have to clean” 

“Oh palease, this is nothing compared to the first time I went through Kuro’s portal” 

“Right.. Kuro is..?” 

“Tomu’s babysitter/slave.. The shadowy dude”

“Ah, right. Anyway, can I ask you something?” 

“Sure” 

“Is Shirakumo your actual surname?” 

“Like, biologically?” 

“Yeah” 

“No” 

“So you chose that for yourself. Why?” 

He frowned and turned to stare directly at him “Why do you wanna know?” 

“Someone very important to me had that last name, he died eight years ago, if you are somehow connected to him, I-” he stopped the car “I just need to know”

Izuku hummed “How about this, I tell you who gave us that name If we test which of our quirks works faster” 

“Fine” He turned the car over and started driving to somewhere no one would be. 

-

“So, how do we do this?” 

“We both close our eyes, and on the count of three open them activating it” 

“That works” 

Izuku closed his eyes and took off the glasses, and Aizawa closed his eyes and put the scarf away, he didn't want to hang himself with it if it so happened the kid’s worked faster. 

“Three, two.. One.. Go” 

They both opened, Izuku’s was faster, but Aizawa’s still managed to erase it before anything happened. 

“Interesting!” 

“Now you’ll tell me about the name?” He asked picking his scarf back up.

“I’ll do you one better, I’ll let you meet them” 

They went back to the car 

“Where to, problem child?” 

“Tsuki’s house problem hobo” 

“Then-” 

“Just trust me” 

“If this turns out to be a lie I’m throwing that cake out of the window” 

Izuku was horrified. 

-

He picked the lock to get in and found Tsuki and Tomura in an apparent stare competition. “Hey” Aizawa said, 

the detective looked away to them, Tomura grinned at his win. 

“Raser? What are you doing here?” 

He shoved Izuku in “Came to give the kid back and to have a question answered.” 

“Right..” Izuku looked at Kuro “When were you created?” 

“You already know this information” 

“Just humor me” 

“Eight years ago, Master created me to take care of Tomura.” 

Izuku nodded and turned to the confused Aizawa “When we asked him what was his last name so we could have it, he said it was Shirakumo after glitching for a bit” 

Aizawa’s eyes went wide. “What” he took a big breath “What do you mean, made?” 

“I am a nomu” the shadow said and looked at Tomura for permission to say more, in turn Murachan looked at Izuku. 

“What is this?” Mura asked 

“Problem hobo knew someone named Shirakumo that supposedly died eight years ago.. When did your friend die?” 

“September” 

“When were you created?” 

"October" 

Murachan stood up and started walking to him “And you think..?” 

“What are the odds that it isn't that” 

Murachan grinned and kissed his forehead “Genius, hey Eraserhead, we’ll tell you everything we know, in exchange of your services” 

“My service?” 

“At any moment, of any time we might ask you to do something for us, you’ll have to do it no questions asked” 

“I-” he looked between them and the shadow, it could be nothing, he could sell his soul for nothing “Tsukauchi, ask them If there is a real possibility of this being my friend” 

“Is there a real possibility of this being the person he knew?” 

“Yep” Tomura said. 

“True.” 

“How would we know? Is there a way to confirm it?” Aizawa asked 

“The doc probably has all the documents of this right?” Izuku suggested 

“Ughhh but then we would have to deal with him and he was obsessed with sensei” 

“Oo, I can ask Dabi to come with us, he tries anything he gets burned along with aaaaall his life’s work” 

“Ask your chicken too, I’d rather him getting burned and stabbed just to make sure” 

“And then decayed” 

“Yep” 

“So, do we have a deal?” 

“First, answer me this, what are nomus?” 

“They are genetically enhanced and altered dead humans who have quirks implanted in them.” Kurogiri answered. “I am a nomu”

“The first and only whose brain survived the nomufication, Murachan’s sensei said it was because he still had brain activity when they turned him, but.. They tried it again with people who were in the same state and it just never happened again” 

“Stop making out like he’s special” Tomu grunted 

“But he is! He is a bioengineered miracle!”

He rolled his eyes “You spent too much time with those bio-science freaks” 

Aizawa looked at the shadow again. “...What’s your opinion on cats?” 

Murachan answered for him “He hoards them” 

Aizawa felt a tear coming out of his eyes, it- was it really possible? “Fine”

“Raser, think, really think about this” Tsukauchi tried “I can’t stop this, but, just consider what exactly you are agreeing to” 

“I know” he sighed “I know damn well this is going to hit me in the ass and run me over with a car but… If your sister died and there was a chance of getting her back, wouldn't you sell your soul to the devil?” 

“I would.” 

“Oboro was.. He was” he shook his head, there were no words that could describe how much he meant to him. He looked at the demons “You have a deal” 

Murachan grinned “Welcome to the league of-” 

“NO” Izuku suddenly shouted and hit him “It’s a stupid name, stop using it” 

“It’s a great name” 

“It’s awful, we will think of a better name” 

“But I like league of villains” 

“It’s the most idiotic thing ever, no one will fear something like that” 

“It’s an amazing name” 

“Murachannn don't you want to create a name together with me?” 

Ah dang, Izuku knew exactly how to manipulate him.. “Fine.” he looked at the slightly amused Aizawa and said with a lot less excitement “Welcome to the whatever I guess, gimme your phone” 

“Why?” 

“So I can contact you at any time and order you around, obviously” 

Izuku rolled his eyes “When we find where the doc is we will tell you, for now, just sit down and let’s try making Kuro glitching again!” 

Upon hearing his name he asked “Would you all like something to drink to accompany the experiment?”  He looked at Aizawa. “Maybe some coffee?” 

Shit. Aizawa was lowkey losing it.

Chapter Text

“I saw the news” Momo said before even saying hi. “You are in Shiketsu right? What happened?” 

“Well, hello to you too, my day was great, how was yours?” 

“Drop the shit Shirakumo” Awase said “Tell us everything” 

Izuku shrugged and started stretching “There isn't much to tell, some people didn't like the idea of villains in their school, some people did” 

“A bunch of people died” 

“It was pretty insane” He nodded “The teachers tried to stop them but they just didn't hear, me and Murachan were just trying to eat when it all started ya know” he giggled “I even made a friend actually! She was a support student and her quirk made everyone pay attention to her when she talked, but here’s the catch, she was mute” 

“That must be inconvinient for her” 

“She’s selectively mute” he added “Anyway If she touched anyone her quirk’s property passed to them, she asked me to stop everyone, I would have done it anyway but it was cool to have everyone paying attention to me without any effort” 

Awase raised an eyebrow “So you stopped the fight?”

“Yep” 

“I don't believe that” 

Izuku huffed “You can believe anything you want, it doesn't change the truth. Anyway the next day we went to school and without those stupid bullies everything was so peaceful” 

“Thank Kami despite the massacre it all ended well” Momo said “My first day of school was extremely less exciting, we have a new student though, guess who it was” 

“How the hell am I supposed to guess that?” 

“It was Todoroki-kun.” At Izuku’s confused face she added “Shouto-kun, you know, Endeavour’s son you made kill his father” 

“Ah, so he wasn't arrested?” 

“No, because of the circunstances they just put him in mandatory terapy and community services, my parents were talking and apparently his sister took custudy of them all even though she just turned eighteen” 

Awase looked awed “Man, my brother would never do that for me, he’d just shove me in the system and get rid of me If my parents died” 

Momo nodded “If my parents died my custudy would probably go to my buttler” 

Izuku gasped “You would be like Ratman!!!” 

“I wouldn't be a vigilante though, that would only eat my money instead of giving me more” 

“Yaomomo” Awase grabbed her shoulders “You could start a tech company and use it as a front, just like Ratman did, this is your destiny” 

“My parents are still alive” 

“That can change any minute, who knows, they could be some day attacked by a hobo who is also secretly a sex offender and die strangled by the hobo’s scarf” 

“That was extremely specific” 

Izuku shrugged “I’m just saying.. Do you love your parents?” 

“I- I wish I did.. I can’t say I would feel anything if they died”  

“Soo… Do you want them dead?” 

“No! I-” 

“BAR TIME!” They got up and moved to the bar as per Kajima’s yelling. 

“ I would never wish death upon someone, even if they deserve it, death is too final” 

Izuku patted her “ You are a good person Momo”

-

Kajima watched as they did the movements she proposed with glee, she wasn't one to brag (few times), but she was a hell of a good teacher if these kids were any indication. 

“Alright everyone, time for the next step!” She said after thirty minutes. “Everyone on a circle” 

She waited until they were all positioned “We are going to do some routines again. I expect you all to help the new students to catch up but I also expect you all to give your best, If I find your forms need sharpening I’ll be giving another month of bars understood?” 

“Yes Madam Kajima” most of them said in a chorus. 

“Good, now you four” she pointed at some random kids “First liners, you five” she pointed again, Momo and Awase were in that group “Second line, and you three” Izuku was in that group “Third line” 

She walked to the front of the classroom and changed the music “On me.” 

-

At the end of class Momo and Awase cornered him up “We are staying late to practise” 

“Do I get a say in this?” he asked 

“No, you missed ninty percent of the steps, you lost the privilage to have a say in it” 

“Fiiine” 

“YOU ARE STAYING?” A excited girl with blue hair that was also relatively new at the class asked getting near them 

“Yep” 

“COOL! Can I stay with you??” 

“Uhhh, sure” Awase said, he was a little intimidated, the first week this girl came to class she had already befirended everyone on her age group, he didn't trust overly extroverted people, and not only she was a girl (that automatically made her intimadating) but she was also two years older than them (which just made her even more unaproacheble”

“What’s your name? I’m Momo Yaorozou, this is Yosetsu Awase and this is Izuku Shirakumo” 

“Nejire Hado!” she answered “We are going to have so much fun kohais” 

-

Her idea of fun was apparently talking non stop while they trained, granted, she wasn't disruptive and Momo and Awase actually managed to help them improve the routine, but she just didn't stop talking. It was all going great until Izuku got pissed. 

“OH MY KAMI WILL YOU SHUT UP?!” 

“No!” She answered with a smile 

“You are so fucking annoying! Don't you understand the meaning of the words peace and quiet??” 

“Hmm” she ignored him and turned to Momo “So, about your hair, your hair is so good, what do you use on it? I want brands, names, tell me everything!” 

“It’s-” 

“And you have such perfect skin! Do you do anything? Ah, youth, my skin is already so dry, I wonder what I’m doing wrong” 

“Makeup can screw-” 

“What are you going to do when you grow up? I’m gonna be a model! Did you know, Ms Kajima is in direct connection with the Bakugou agency, THE BAKugous! I hope our group ends up performing for them, imagine being scouted!” 

Momo took a big breath “LET ME ANSWER YOU DAMNIT!” 

“Oh” Nejire blinked “I didn't realize what I was doing, sorry” she giggled “Sometimes my mouth takes over and my brain just can’t catch up!” 

“ANyway! I-” 

“Izuku’s brother is in the Bakugou thing” Awase said interrupting her for the meme. Momo started walking in the direction of the sound system pissed off . 

“Oh yeah! He was forced to go there though, if he had a choice he wouldn't” Izuku said. 

Out of nowhere the before calm song that was quietly playing the the background blasted through the room completely piercing their brains. They all screamed, except Momo, Momo was holding the buttom, Momo smiled. 

-

“Sooo, you always do this after class?” Nejire asked 

“Not always.. But mostly yes” Momo asnwered 

“It’s just so relaxing throwing ourselves in the water after the class and the beach is super near so..” Awase said 

“Yeah right” Izuku snekered “Relaxing” he said doing air quotes “Remind me how relaxing it was when sand got in your eyes” 

“That was YOUR FAULT” Awase said throwing himself on Izuku, Izuku let himself fall to grab some sand “Don't you dare” 

He grinned “You better have only positive things to say about me Yosetsu Awase” 

“YOu viLLAin!” he screetched, and at Izuku’s threatening movements he started running away, Izuku ran after. 

“Comee ooon future hero, show me what you goooot!!” 

“Here’s a good place to sit” Momo said ignoring them “Last time we came we ended up making a friend and his mom’s lent us their chairs and stuff” she sighed “I wish we could bring chairs, it was so comfortable” she spreading the towls. 

“What’s stopping you?” 

She pointed at the boys trying to drown each other and laughing about it. “That. That’s stopping me” 

“Okay.. What’s stopping you from just making them? That’s your quirk right? Creation” 

“It’s illegal” 

“It’s only illegal if you get caught” Nejire said with a wink. 

Hmm. Mhm. Momo was a lesbian, she didn't know what being a lesbian meant yet, but she was. 

“I- I suppose you are relatively right” 

“I know! Make those chairs kohai! I want to catch some sun!” 

“O-okay…” 

“hey” Izuku slapped him “HeY, sTOP!” 

“What?!” 

“Momo is using her quirk” 

“Waaaaht?!” They both stared at her illegal activities “How did- What did Hado say to make her agree????” 

“I don't know!” 

“We tried everything!” 

“I know!” 

“Let’s go” he grabbed Izuku’s hand and started draggin him there. 

“Chairs.” Izuku said 

Momo nodded “Chairs.” 

“We asked for chairs, we never got chairs before” 

“Nejire-Senpai made some good points” 

“What did you tell her??” 

“That it’s only illegal if she get’s caught” 

Izuku frowned “That’s exactly what I said!” 

“What makes her so special?!” 

“She’s way more convincing than either of you”

Izuku pulled Awase to the side “Something’s going on right?” 

“Definitely” 

“Do you think they are..” 👉👌

Awase frowned “What does that mean” 

“Oh sweet child” 

“We are the same age” 

“I’ll tell you everything” 

-

“I’ve never seen them so quiet before” Momo said as they passed the boys

Nejire shrugged “You wanna see something cool??” 

“Uh, yes?” 

She grabbed Momo’s hand and rushed towards the water. 

Once they were in a place the water hit their shoulders Nejire used her quirk creating a bunch of mini water whirpools. 

Momo was amazed by it, even though she was being slightly pulled to it, she was amazed, “This is so cool” 

“I bet you could make a lot of cool stuff too if you just let go” 

“But what if we get arrested for using our quirks in public” 

Hado rolled her eyes “We are kids, people always think kids are stupid, we just gotta use that in our favor” 

“ You sound like Izu..”

“Speaking of him.. there is some gossip going around ya know” 

“There is?” 

“Yeah, rumor has it he’s a villain” 

“That’s not my story to tell” 

“But you don't deny it right?” 

Momo shook her head “It’s not my place to tell” 

Hado giggled “Damn, a villain doing ballet, never thought that was possible” 

“Please don't tell anyone” 

“Oh kohai, none of you know how to whisper, everyone knows” 

“He’s.. He’s not all bad..”

“Suure. Anyways! This was fun but I think I got to go! Cya next week” 

“Right.. Cya” she watched as Nejire walked away, she couldn't stop looking. 

“And that’s how babies are made” Izuku finished explaining. 

“...That’s gross” 

“I know right!”

“How did you find out?” 

“Kuro explained it to me five years ago..” 

“Kuro is…?” 

“Murachan’s nanny/slave, he’s a good slave.” 

“Tell me about your family” Awase demanded 

“Why?” 

“I’m curious” 

“That’s friendship level nine though” 

He crossed his arms “What level am I on?” 

“Hmm, four” 

“Sweet, just one more and I’ll unlock who ‘Murachan’ is right?”

“Oh shit you are right..” 

“I’m usually right Kumo-kun”

Chapter Text

“Nugget~” 

“No.” 

“Come onnn, you know you want it” 

“No.” 

“Pleeeeaseee” 

“You are insufferable” 

“Ooo, big words coming from a tiny man, shows how mature you are becoming, ya know what mature people do? They say yes” 

“I’m not an idiot.” 

“So yes?” 

“No.” 

“Aren't you curious at all about Shoto?” 

“Nope” 

“Hatchiling please, it can be in a cake store” 

“What time are we going?” 

“Thank youu!! You won’t regret this!” 

“I already do.” 

-

Keigo Takami was a teen in love. Unfortunaly the person he was in love with didn't care at all about him, however the person did care about his brother because his brother was their brother’s only friend. 

Even though it wasn't really mutual. 

“Hello best friend” 

“I’m just gonna be straight with you Shoto-kun, do you wanna commit arson with me?” 

“NUGGET!” 

“What?! It’s a valid question!” 

“I do” 

“SHOTO” Natsuo yelled 

“What?” Shoto asked “It’s a valid answer. I won’t use my fire side though” 

“I have no idea what that is” 

Shoto nodded. “Good. Are we going now?” 

“Yeah, chicken literally begged me to drag you away so they’d be alone” 

“IZUKU! YOU DON’T JUSt-” 

“Whoops, let’s goo” 

“Yes. Have fun on your date Natsuo-nii” 

Natsuo and Keigo looked at each other and blinked. “Uh, so, hi~” 

“No.” Natsuo stood up 

“Wait, wait, I know I just look like a hot nonsensical overconfident chicken with a boundry problem but-” 

Natsuo raised an eyebrow 

“But just gimme a chance, I promise I’m more than that!” 

Natsuo sighed “One chance” 

-

As they were walking trying to figure out where the arson would be committed a limo started driving slowly near them. 

“Best friend” Shoto started “That car is extremely suspicious” 

“Just ignore it” 

“Okay” 

After two blocks it became a bit harder to ignore since they had been pulled inside the car, hoods were put over their heads and they were being drived somewhere against their will. 

“We are being kidnapped” Shoto stated just in case his best friend hadn't realized it. 

“Indeed we are” 

“Okay” He was glad his best friend knew. According to boogle, comunication is important for a lasting friendship.

After a while their hoods were taken off and they were seated in a fancy room with tea in front of them. 

“Aw” Izuku said grabbing the most likely poisoned tea and drinking it “You made my favorite” he smiled “You forgot the cake though” 

The weird person wearing a bird mask in front of them rolled their eyes “This isn't a cake ocasion” 

“Every ocasion is a cake ocasion Kai” 

Newly dubbed Kai ignored him and turned to Shoto “For years we have tried ending his cake obsession” 

“It hasn’t been working, I assume” Shoto said  

“No it has not, anyway” the guy stretched his gloved hands “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Shoto Todoroki right? That was quite the stunt, killing your father like that” 

“That man was many things, a father wasn't one of them” Shoto said

Kai nodded “You know little Izuku was the one that made you kill him right?” 

“Don’t call me little Izuku” He said before Shoto could answer 

“Aw, but you are” 

“For your information, I have grown five centimiters since last time we saw” 

“You are still tiny” 

“And you are still old” he flipped him off and grabbed the cookie avaible “Why dwid yu bwing wus hewe?” 

“The boss misses you little brother” 

Izuku huffed “That’s not it, otherwise you would have taken me to old man-san the moment I got here, what do you want Kai?” 

“Is it that unthinkable that I just wanted to see you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ouch” 

“You always want something, hell, when you brought me here the first time the moment you found out about my quirk your kind benevolence became a favor I owned you” 

“To be fair, we did house you and feed you whenever you wanted” 

He rolled his eyes “What. Do. You. Want. Kai? Me and Shoto were just about to commit arson so it better be worth it” 

“The boss’s daughter, she’s pregnant” 

“Has been for a while, go on” 

“Wait. You already knew?!” 

“She told me when I decided to try my luck in the streets” he turned to Shoto “Ya see, she’s much cooler and nicer than Kai, don't trust Kai Shoto, never trust Kai” 

“I feel betrayed” 

“And I feel robbed of my arson, anything else?” 

“The baby’s coming in december, boss is having a whole birth party and wants you to come” 

“Do we know the day yet?” 

“Twenty something.. Is not really specific I know, don't give me that face, do you have a phone yet?” 

“No..” 

“I can give you a phone” Shoto said at the same time Kai said “I’ll give you a phone” 

“I’m rich” Shoto said “Mine will be fancier” 

“He can’t even read, how will he use something super fancy?” 

“For your information, I’m learning how to read, by two different people” 

“If you weren't so dirty I’d hug you and tell how proud I am” 

“Ew” 

He rolled his eyes again “Speaking of how much you love physical affection how’s that brat that destroyed all our shit?” 

“We got married” 

Kai blinked several times. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“He said he’d provide me with cake forever if we did. It was an obvious choice” 

“ I see ” Shoto mumbled while thinking very hard about the situation. 

“As your older brother” 

“Nope, not it, try again” 

“As the only adult figure in your life” 

“Again, not it, I got adopted” 

“Congratulations, the boss will be sad” 

“Tell old man-san he was too old to be a dad again” 

“No. Anyway, as your… handler, I should have been given the priviledge of meeting him and giving him the shovel talk before you got married” 

“First of all, no. second of all, also no, third of all, fuck off Kai” 

“Lovely as ever” 

“Is that all? Can we go back to commiting arson now?” 

“Here” he tossed him a bag full of colorful pills 

“...This shit?” 

“If you aren't doing it we can find someone else who will but that means-” 

“I know what it means Kai.” 

“You get sixty percent” 

“Eighty” 

“Sixty five” 

“Fine, sixty five.” he shook his head. can’t believe I’m doing this shit again . 

“I’ll pick you up in two weeks” 

“Right” 

“You are in a hero school now little brother” he stood up and started walking off, Izuku followed and so did Shoto “I bet a lot of hero students need the escapism” 

“I guess” 

They walked through the corridors, Shoto was mesmerized by how they both seemed to know exactly where they were going considering every path literally looked the same. 

“Worst case scenario you know the drill” 

“I don't like the drill” 

“Then make sure it doesn't happen” he opened a door that lead to an open garden “He’s waiting for you” 

“Right, let’s go Shoto” He grabbed his arm and started dragging him off, Kai stayed back and closed the door on them 

“Where are we exactly? Who are these people? What were you talking about? Are those drugs?” 

“Not now Shoto” 

“Okay” 

They got to a wodden area and found old man-san reading a book in a swing net “Hey old man, how are you?” 

He lowered the book and smiled kindly “Little Izuku, you’ve grown up” 

“And yet you still call me that… You got older” 

“Not that older I hope” 

He shrugged and shoved Shoto foward “This is Shoto” 

“Yes, I saw the news, hello young man” 

“Hi” 

“What brings you here?” 

“I don't know” 

“This is a place where the lost find each other, tell me boy, are you lost?” 

“No.. Are you Peter Pan?” 

Old man-san chuckled “I wish I were. Imagine being young and able to fly” 

“What’s your quirk?” Shoto asked 

The man smiled, put a finger over his mouth and winked, then he turned to Izuku “Did Kai treat you well my child?” 

“Yeah yeah” 

“He’s grown into a fine man wouldn't you agree?” 

“No. He’s grown even more entitled and an ass. When he takes everything over it will all go to ruins” 

“I hope not, I have high hopes for him” he said leaving the swing net “I also have high hopes for you” 

“You really shouldn't.” 

“I saw you are doing ballet” 

“Ah” 

“Are you enjoying it?” 

“Yeah, I guess” 

“Send me a ticket if you ever perform on a stage” 

“Okay…” 

He patted Izuku’s hair “I’m proud of you, you’ve come a long way from that scrawny kid to what you are now” 

He shook his head and forced his eyes closed to make the tears stay inside “I really didn't” 

Old man-san crouched in front of him “Little Izuku” 

“What old man-san?” 

“Remember my only rule?” 

He nodded 

“Good” he got up grunting the whole way “ahhh i’m too old for this” he said once he was back up. 

“What’s the rule?” Shoto asked 

“Put yourself first” he answered smiling. “Now off you both go, this old man needs to take his pills” 

Izuku grabbed Shoto’s arm again and started dragging him to the exit. 

“Are you gonna answer my questions now?” Shoto asked once they were out. 

“How about a little arson first?” 

“Okay.”

-

Extra:

When Eraserhead got a call about a potential villain and a building on fire, he didnt expect to find problem demon and the Todoroki kid doing some kind of ritual around a marshmallow surrounded by flames. 

So as any responsible hero would do he walked away and let someone else deal with the bullshit. 

Chapter Text

“Are you gonna answer them now?” 

“Why are you still following me?” 

“Well, I assumed we would talk about those answers in a more secluded place” 

“You are not gonna leave me alone until I do, are you..?” 

“✨No✨” 

He sighed “Fiiine, let’s go to the pastry them, I need some cake” 

“Okay” 

-

“Shoto, you are a godsend” 

“I am?” 

“This is high quality, extremely expensive can’t ever eat it cake. Alright bestie, what were your questions again?” 

Shoto smiled, he had been acknowledged as a bestie, it was official “What was that place, who were those people and were the pills drugs?” 

“Right” he took a bite of the cake “Let’s start with the easiest one, yeah, they were drugs” 

“Why did you take them?” 

“I don't like depending on others to give me money… Kai just.. well, he gives me opportunities to earn some quick money” 

“So you sell them” 

“Yep” 

“Have you ever used it?” 

He took a bite and ever so slowly nodded “ I got curious once”

“I’m curious too” 

“If you pay up I have no qualms” 

“How much is it?” 

He analized everything he knew about Shoto, he could give him a discount for buying him this cake. OR, he could charge ten times the actual price, not tell Kai about the overcharging and keep all the money for himself. The last option seemed much better. 

“69.538,20 yen” 

“Okay, how should I pay you?” 

“Cash” 

He nodded “Can we meet again tomorrow so that I give it to you?” 

“uhh, maybe not tomorrow cuz I need to make the packages and stuff, saturday?” 

“That works” 

“It’s a deal” 

“Now the other questions.” 

“Right.. Well, I used to live in the streets right?” 

Shoto blinked twice

“Well, I didn't always really have food and stuff, and ya know, I managed it, but there was this one time I wasn't managing it at all, and Kai found me almost starving to death.. I guess he saw himself in me or something because next I knew he had took me to his dad, that’s the old man by the way, and told him I was staying.. I did stay for a while, until Murachan, got pissy that I was ignoring him and decided to destroy everything there.. After that I just did odd jobs for money and If i was reeeeally desperated I stayed there” 

“I see. You don't have to worry about money anymore best friend” 

He snorted 

“I’m serious, Endeavor left all his money for me on his will. I can fund you.” 

“Right.. About that phone you said you’d give me…” 

“Do you want it?” 

“Yeah, I doubt I’ll be able to actually use it for much, and it has to be resistant to shit because if it breaks at first impact I’m giving up on phones. But I guess.. I guess it would be cool to beinthegroupchat..”

“What was that?” 

“Ask Kuro for pick ups. I’m sure I’ll pick up the whole writing and reading thing any day now!” 

“I believe you.” 

-

“What does this shit say?” 

“Play Store, you can download games and such on it” 

“Ooh this has games in it? That’s cool, what about this shit?” 

“Messages, you don't message people with that though otherwise it will charge you” 

“Then how do i..?” 

“Here, I’ll download hatsapp you can send audio messages with that app so until you learn how to read we can use it” 

He watched as Shoto started a conversation between the two. Shoto picked his own phone, clicked on a button and said “Hello bestie” 

Izuku watched as the message reached his phone, he clicked on it and heard him. He smiled and did the same “Hello!” 

“See, now we can communicate” 

“This is nifty” 

He nodded “I don't understand why people use any other app anyway, this other one here is your contacts, you put people’s numbers here. And this one is how you call them, but if you want you can instead video call and stuff through hatsapp” 

“Okay” 

“If you are somewhere without free internet, just click here” 

“Isn't that paid?” 

“Don’t worry about it” 

He nodded

“Anyways that’s the basics of it. Do you wish to hang out some more?” 

“Why? Do you have something specific you want to do?” 

Shoto nodded “I’ve always dreamt of watching a movie with a friend” 

“Okay bestie, let’s see what’s avaible for us!” He started skitting off, Shoto closely behind. 

-

“That was a weird movie” Shoto said 

He nodded

“Is it normal for cinemas to not have a soul on them?” 

“It’s the middle of the week, so.. i guess?” 

“I see. What was that movie called? I want to recommend it to Fumi” 

“FallenMoon”

“Thank you” 

“She’s not gonna be able to see it until it leaved the theaters tho” 

He nodded “I understand.” 

“So…” 

“Sooo” 

“I must be going home now” 

“Okei” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow best friend” 

Izuku snorted “Same place?” 

“Yes. Good bye” he said and walked off. 

Fuyumi would hate this movie, it would be great. 

-

“Muuurachann, I’m booored” he said agressively shoving some pills into a sachet

“Are those drugs?” Tsukauchi asked 

They both ignored him “You shouldn't have fucking accepted this shit, you know how shitty it is” 

“But I like money” 

“Kid, if it was about the money, you can depend on me” 

They both ignored him again 

“And Kai has this way..” 

“I don't like him” 

Izuku shrugged “Though luck” 

“Who is this Kai person?” Tsuki asked, he doesn't even know why he is trying at this point

“Last time you did this shit you ended up in a comatose estate” 

“Last time I did this shit I was stupid and since it was the last time I decided to try it.” he shuddered “It wasn't fun” 

“Can you promise me something?” 

“That depends on what that something is” 

“If things go to shit, you call Kuro with that new fancy phone of yours and get out of there” 

“Sure” 

“Can’t believe you got a phone from someone” 

He nodded “He’s very rich” 

“Awww” Murachan grabbed his cheek “You got yourself a sugar daddy!” 

Tsukauchi saw red “TOMURA!” 

“What?!” he chuckled “He did!”

“What’s a sugar daddy?” 

“Basically you-” 

“No!” Tsuki blocked his ears “Don't taint the child even more” 

“Come on dad” Tomu taunted, Tsuki stilled “He’s already pretty fucked up anyway” 

“Dad?” 

Tomura’s eyes went wide “Shit, did I say dad? I- I meant uh” 

Tsuki smiled proudly “I’m glad you think of me as your dad Tomura.” he said and let go of Izuku “He called me dad!” 

“Kuro will be jealous” Izuku said “Anyway, why did you freak out when I asked what a sugar daddy was?” 

“You are too young to know” 

Izuku raised an eyebrow 

“Aight so basically-” 

“STOP!” 

“He’s gonna find out eventually!” Tomu argued 

“Yeah! Eventually! Not today!” 

While they argued Izuku grabbed his phone and said “okay boogle, what does sugar daddy means?” 

As boogle's monotunuous voice started talking the other two stopped arguing to stare at the phone “a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favors.” 

“WHO GAVE A PHONE TO A CHILD?!” Tsukauchi asked/shouted

“FUCK, HOW DARE YOU USE BOOGLE TO SUBSTITUTE ME?!” 

Instead of answering Izuku just shrugged “Kuro already explained sex to me a long time ago Tsuki, why are you freaking out?” 

He sighed “Kami damnit… what do you want for dinner?” he changed topics 

“Uhh, cheese esfiha” 

“OO yes! I’ve been dying to have some!” Murachan agreed “Gimme some meaty ones and we’ll be good” 

“Guess I’ll order it then” he mumbled as he opened up TFood, no way he could learn how to do this before they started complaining about being hungry. 

While he ordered Izuku flicked Tomu “ He’s the same age as me, so he can’t be a sugar daddy”

“It’s not a ruule that the person has to be older.. It’s just more common, so yeah, sugar daddy” 

“Fiine, oh by the way, dad huh?” 

“Shut up” 

“Thought you said we were only using him for information” 

“We are!” 

“Uhumm.. suuuure, because you tooootally call random people dad” 

“shut upppp” 

“i think it’s been like seven years since you last called someone dad” 

“i hate you” 

“cool. so anyway, are you gonna cuddle him while watching TV? read books together.. uuhhh, play catch?” 

He shoved him away “No.. I’m the biggest villain of all time!” Tomu argued unconvincely “ I don't need those things” 

Izuku got near him again and patted him. “ I hope you find happiness with your new dad, maybe you can have his last name” 

“shuuuut it!”

“he can hug you when you are sad.. fix your booboos” 

Tomura had enough, he grabbed one of the pills and shoved inside Izuku’s mouth, Izuku swalloed by reflex 

“Oh no” he said 

“oh shit” Tomu agreed. 

“why did you do that you moron??” 

“you wouldn't stop spewing bullshit!” 

“fuuuck” he laid down “ don't let me do anything stupid okay” 

“ yeah, i got you” 

“shit, i can’t believe you did this” 

“sorry zu” 

“sorry isn't enough” he started giggling madly “ cake is, cake cake cake cake” he sighed and rolled on top of Tomu “I love cake” 

Murachan stood up taking him on his lap and said “Call us when food gets here" walking to his bedroom.

Chapter Text

“hihihihihi boop” 

Murachan grabbed his hands so he would stop poking his nose. 

That wouldn't do. Izuku booped Tomu’s nose with his own nose “boop” he said afterwards and started giggling. “I wanna dance, I love dancing, dance with me Murachan” 

“There is no music” 

That didn't matter, he got up pulled Murachan with him and started dancing like he was on a rock concert “I love this song!” Izuku said

Tomura sighed “Yeah me too” he said despide the fact that there was no music playing. 

“Wanna see me ballet? Hikajima” he giggled “that’s not her name, kamira? kamillah” he started spinning “I’m a pretty butterfly called kamillah!” Murachan groaned he looked so unhappy, Murachan couldn't be unhappy “Ooo you know what we should do?” 

“What?” Murachan was also grumpy, that wasn't good

“We should kill All Might! That will put you in a good mood right?!” 

“We already did that, he’s in a coma, practically dead” 

he took his glasses off “My eyes are so scratchy, my face is scratchy, Murachan you are scratchy” 

“I’m scratchy?” 

“Yeah!” he shoved himself on Murachan and started clawing him, Murachan stopped him though, why did he stop him? 

“We need to cut your nails” 

“Can you do it? I never do it right..” 

“Have you ever actually cut them or do you just chew them?” 

“Hihihihi that’s a funny question” he looked at his hand “Fingers are weird, they are like noodles” he started moving them “bloop bloop noddly doo” 

Murachan grabbed his hands and interwined their fingers “Are we done dancing?” Izuku asked

Murachan pulled him over to the bed and sat down helping Izuku sit on his lap “Aren't you tired?” 

“Tired of everyone’s bullshit” Izuku answered mad “Look at this” he put their hands up and whispered scandalized “ is this what hand sex is?” 

“No.” 

“Hihihihihi, I know that, did you like my joke? I’m very smart, I know what hand sex is” 

Murachan groaned again “Can’t believe I’m agreeing with Tsuki, why did Kuro ever teach you things” 

“Boop, I love you murachan” 

Murachan smiled (he didn't even need to kill All Might for that) and snuggled into his neck. 

“Did you know there is a leg, called sassy leg squad?” 

“Go back to loving me!” 

“They kick people into the water! And then they become leg mermaids!!” 

“I- No.” 

“No faces only merde. Merde? Merde!!!” 

Murachan sighed and held his waist as Izuku started laughing madly. 

Then he started crying and Murachan held him even closer 

“Why are you crying Zu” 

“I don't have hands anymore!!” 

“Yeah you do, they are right here.. See?” 

He shook his head “Kai said he’ll only give them back tomorrow!” he clutched on Murachan’s shirt with his non hands “Kai is a meanie” 

“Did that asshole did something to you?” 

“One pill one finger, one pill one finger” he started singing madly “And then restart and start again, one pill one finger, one pill one-” 

“WHAT?!” 

“I’m tired, Murachan I’m sleeping with you tonight, you don't mind right? Yeh you don’t” he closed his eyes and relaxed on his lap. 

“I’m gonna kill that fucking motherfucker” 

“Boooys, the food’s here!” 

“Comin!” he yelled back, he tried making Izuku let go off him but that wasn't happening anytime soon. “KURO COME HERE!” 

“Yes master?” 

“Can you bring us food? Izu’s trippin and I can’t move” 

Kurogiri shook his head “Drugs can mess with your brain at this age, it could forever be of detriment for your health” 

He lowered his head “I know, it was an accident, just bring us the damn food” 

“Of course” 

“Murachan.. I’m forgetting things” 

“Yeah you will” 

“You never listen to me, i’m not gonna forget things” he said “I already forgot things” 

“Like what?” 

“I don't know, cuz I forgot them” 

“How do you know you know you forgot if you don’t know what you forgot?” 

Izuku giggled and tossed himself away from him falling with his back on the bed “Your face is funny” 

“Do you like my face?” 

“Here are the esfihas” Kurogiri said putting a plate near them and walking away 

“I like fooood!” he answered tossing himself on the plate, Murachan grabbed before he could. “Betrayal!”  

“You are gonna end up choking yourself” 

He rolled his eyes “I know how to eat Murachan” 

“I have my doubts.” 

-

Izuku was depressively crying because he couldn't remember what a Kacchan was, his mind just tossed him that word, said it was important and then left again. 

“WHAT IF IT WAS UP TO KILL ME??” He asked 

Tsukauchi sighed “How long does it take for the buzz to end?” 

“I have no idea. Kacchan is too stupid of a name to be a hired killer” 

“YOUR NAME’S STUPID TOO BUT YOU ARE ONE!” 

“I am not!” he crossed his arms “I’m a villain that’s totally different” 

“Kid, here, have some water” 

“WhAt iF iTS POISONED??” 

“I ganrantee you it’s not” 

“I don't trust yoou” 

“It isn't Zuzu, you can drink it” 

“I don't trust you either” he huffed “You tried to poison me!” 

“It was an accident!” 

“It was yeniffer and it was alot!” 

“What?” Tsukauchi asked exasperated 

“Zuzu, come on…” 

He started crying again “Murachan is gone, murachan left me, everyone dies around me” 

“Shit” Murachan rushed besides him and hugged him again “I didn't leave, I’m here” 

“Are you a ghost?” 

He sighed “Just on wednesdays” 

“Can I be a ghost too?” 

“Never.” 

“Seems unfair” he argued 

“Nope” 

“Come on ghostchan, let’s be ghost together!” 

“I’m a selfish ghost, I don't like other ghosts” 

“We don’t have to like each other!” 

“Yes we do” 

“Who said so” 

“I said so” 

“U stupid” he said closing his eyes. 

Murachan looked up “I think It’s finally ending” 

-

When Izuku came back to his senses he decided life wasn't worth it anymore. He stated that for Murachan by choving his face on the pillow and yelling. 

“Come on Zu.. It wasn't that bad” 

“No” he put his hand on his forehead and turned his head away dramatically “I’m done with everything, I remember everything, what the hell is wrong with my head?” 

“You said you loved me~” Murachan said-song as he turned his face back to him with a single finger 

“I also said fingers are like noodles” 

“And you were right” He stated “Your mind just knows the truth Zuzu, and the truth is, we are fat-” 

“DON’T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!” he shoved the pillow on his face and left the room. 

Murachan laughed and followed him. 

“Are you better Izuku?” Tsukauchi asked 

Izuku ignored him and moved to the kitchen, before he got there however a gigantic bottle of water was being shoved at his face “Thanks Kuro” 

“Of course” the shadow ruffled his hair 

He drank it all in one go. 

“Yes, I’m better Tsuki, thanks for asking Tsuki, I’m great” Tsuki said to himself “Where are you going?” 

“Out” He said as he went out. Murachan tried following him but got a door to his face. 

“Damn brat” he said going to sit at the couch. 

“Aren't you going to follow him?” Tsuki asked 

“Nah, I don't want to be punched” 

He nodded “That’s okay, it gives us some father son bonding time” 

“Look old man, that was just a mistake, I don't see you as a father figure” lie

Tsuki raised an eyebrow 

“I actually hate you” lie “And I hope you crash your car or something” lie

Tsuki chuckled and put his arm around his boy “It’s quite alright Tomura”

He flinched “What are you doing?” 

Instead of answering he started untangling Tomura’s hair “That’s quite the mess you have here”