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We’ll be Home

Summary:

Mister Ksaver had given him a week to tell Marley about his parents, to save himself before threatening to do it himself. Zeke couldn’t do it, where would he go? What would happen to him if he did?

Surely Mister Ksaver wouldn’t sell them out, he was so nice! But now faced with the reality of the situation, he knew he had doomed his family, or maybe he had given himself and his dad a second chance.

Notes:

Ah! I have needed this for a long time! A lot of the pov will be switching between Zeke and Grisha, every chapter, this was Grisha so next chapter will be Zooketh!

Chapter 1: The Worst Day of Our Lives

Chapter Text

Grisha knew it was his fault, his family was suffering and it was because of him, that night when he, Dina and Zeke had been sitting at the table for dinner, things seemed to be calm for once. No one talked, they just ate silently, Grisha couldn’t remember a time where his family growing up had been so quiet, at least not before the dogs.

He had just come home from his last appointment, giving Miss Braun’s new born Reiner some antibiotics, the infant was suffering from scarlet fever, being born prematurely hadn’t given him the best chance, Grisha had missed his son’s eighth birthday to help deliver the small sickly child, Zeke hadn’t talked to him much since then.

Grisha looked towards his son, Zeke had been unusually jumpy the past week, Grisha assumed it must have something to do with the extra duties he had been taking on, trying to get in Marley’s good graces and increase the chances of him getting a Titan. Nothing could have prepared him for the real reason Zeke had been so closed off.

Their dinner was cut short that night, Marleyan officers kicking through their door and detaining the three of them, Grisha whispered to Dina to not fight, don’t get yourself in more trouble as they were loaded into the cart. As he glanced through the bared window he caught the eyes of his father, looking at him in shock and pain.

Grisha hadn’t seen Dina and Zeke in three days, he hoped they were okay but considering the state he was in he hoped they were already dead. Grisha sat naked tied to a chair anything the officers could remove from his body they did, including his fingers and toes among others, his teeth had been pulled and his ribs broken, he had been truly beat half to death, reduced to nothing but a sobbing mess praying for the life of his wife and child.

It wasn’t until the next day as he was thrown onto a ship his prayers were answered, Dina and Zeke were right there with him, Dina was in a similar state to Grisha, missing fingers and smelling of blood, Grisha rushed over to his family and started checking Zeke over for any wounds, luckily the small boy had gotten away with a few pulled teeth and some bruises, Grisha hugged his family close as the boat began to move, he knew where they were going.

He had less then a day, sitting there holding his family, Zeke shook as he clung to Dina’s shirt, Grisha rubbed his back counting the bruises down his son’s arms over and over, Dina was hurt because of him, Zeke was hurt because of them, Zeke should have been able to stay back home with his grandparents, instead he was going to be forced into a fate worse than death, and it was his fault.

The hours leading up to the events on the wall were largely a blur to him, he walked up the stairs to the wall blindfolded and fell to his knees at the edge before the blindfold was removed and their whereabouts explained coldly to him. Dina on one side, Zeke, sobbing on the other, things were moving too fast, he hadn’t said everything he need to to his family, no I’m sorry’s no I love you’d no good byes.

He was pulling from his thoughts when the voice of his friend Grice caught his attention, the man yelling at him for answers, wondering how one of the warriors had found out about them, cursing Zeke saying he must have told the Beast Titan holder, screaming profanities and proclaiming it was a mistake to trust him, his best friend looking towards him in anger demanding he answer. “I’m sorry.” Was the whisper that finally managed to leave him.

Grice only looked to him in shock, Grisha could only focus on his son trembling between them, was it true? Had Zeke betrayed them? If so then it made no sense for him to be here, he sucked his teeth and pulled his gaze away, there was no use spending his final moments as a human thinking of his son as a traitor.

His distraction didn’t last long however as the sound of Grice screaming pulled him right back to the scene infront of him. He watched as his friend was kicked from the wall hitting the sand below and rolling to the ground, Grisha waited for a moment wondering if it had started, if he was about to see his friend become a Titan.

Grisha was shocked instead to see the man stand up slowly and look up to the wall in confusion, a Marleyan officer shouted down to him to run north, that he could make it to the wall if he was lucky, Grisha had never heard such bullshit before, but Grice began to run anyways as officers lined up behind the remainder of his friends and family.

He watched tears in his eyes and one by one his friends were kicked off the edge, their mindless titans chasing after Grice, despite Grishas desperate yells for them to stop, to recognize their friend. Dina giving him a smile and a promise to find him no matter what, he grit his teeth and took a breath waiting for the needle in the back of his neck, as he watched her transform. Looking towards Zeke who was staring up at him with wide scared eyes “don’t look Zeke, it’s going to be ok.”

The small boy screwed his eyes shut, crying softly as Grisha took a breath, but the pinch of the needle in the back of his neck never came, instead the officers took the time to mock him as Dina joined the others in wandering after Grice, “she won’t even look at you, infact she’s going straight for him. Maybe she had a thing for him after all.” Their laughter dug into his heart he knew this man, he was the same officer, the man who had fed poor Faye to those dogs!

Grisha jerked towards the man ready to curse him for what he had done “it was you, fifteen years ago! You fed my little eight year old sister to dogs!” The man stayed quiet for a moment before hissing between his teeth and turning away from him, Grisha could hear steps coming up behind him, his confusion growing as he recognized another friend of his be forced to kneel infront of the wall before the Sargent demanded all but the man standing over Grisha and Zeke to leave.

“I remember you now son. I’m not going to make you or your boy a Titan.” Grisha felt fear shake him, he did his best to subtly inch closer to Zeke, a poor attempt to shield the boy from what horrors would be coming for them next. He watched as the officer brought a hand down on the man kneeling infront of him, “I’ve decided that he will be eating you both, don’t worry I’ll let the kid go first, it would be cruel to make such a young boy watch his father get eaten.”

The officer began to fill his syringe. “I’ll make sure to make him a three or four meter so you fight him, I’d appreciate you holding out for as long as you can.” Grisha could hardly think, how could some one be so cruel, “why… Why are you doing this?” The man looked back a him, a large smile on his face, “Because it’s fun, why else?” Grisha watched as the last of his friends was kicked from the edge, light erupting as he too was transformed into a monster.

Grisha felt terror grip him as the man came closer and grabbed a hold of Zeke, He tried to move closer crying desperately for the man to let him go, “he’s only eight! Please he’s just a boy!” The officer scoffed as he held Zeke over the edge, “I get where you’re coming from son, I tense up thinking of the same happening to my son’s, if only they boy wasn’t born an Eldian.” The man chuckled at the end, shaking Zeke by the collar of his shirt to get the titans attention. Grisha felt rage burst through him, he had lost everything in such a short amount of time, he couldn’t lose his son to this sick man’s game, “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YOU BASTARD!”

The man didn’t get a chance to answer, Grisha could only instead look on in shock as the officer was pushed from the wall and towards the waiting Titan, Grisha snapped his eye back up looking to his crying son, safe and still on the wall, pulled back in by another man, Grisha itched to move toward the two he couldn’t tell if this man was a threat or not, he had saved Zeke but he still wore the Marley military uniform. “Who are you?”

“I’m the owl” the man said it as if it was a regular back hand comment, walking away from the two, towards the dock end of the wall, Grisha desperately shuffled over to Zeke, ready to check him over instead his attention snapped back to the owl as he was addressed, “watch Grisha, this is how you use the power of titans.”

The man pulled a knife from his pocket, cutting his palm and letting himself drop into the waters of the docks, a Titan emerged in his place, breaking the boats and smashing the officers to pieces right infront of them. Something in Grisha understood that this was just the beginning, he looked away from the chaos for a moment, leaning closer to Zeke, “are you alright?” The boy stared ahead quiet as ever for a moment Grisha feared he wouldn’t get an answer that was until “we can’t go home, can we?” Grisha could only shake his head before looking back to the dock, watching as the owl slowly climbed the stairs towards them, he felt this long day was about to become a long night.

Chapter 2: Silent Child

Summary:

Zeke P.O.V very much in his own head rn but I mean… he’s been through a lot…

Chapter Text

Zeke pressed close to his dad’s side as the strange man came closer to them, Zeke fidgeted nervously as the man cut them free and introduced himself as Eren Kruger. Zeke shuffled away quietly as his dad began screaming at the man in front of him, demanding to know why he had waited so long to help them, why he had let everyone else be titanized.

Zeke rubbed his wrists, they were sore and red from the tight bindings. Zeke walked towards the edge of the wall, looking out over the vast plains of the island ahead of them and tuning out the two men talking behind him, Zeke let his eyes wander over the landscape spotting the silhouettes of the men and woman who had been turned into titans in the distance, crowding together struggling to grab something from each other.

He shivered, to think that they were all fighting over who would eat mister Grice. Zeke took an inch closer to the wall and looked straight down at the new fourmeter just beginning to walk away from the partially eaten body of that officer. “Zeke, don't stand so close to the edge, you’ll fall!”

Zeke took a moment to glance back at his father before taking a slight step back from the edge and looking back out over the land, watching his Titan mother slowly becoming smaller as she wandered into the distance. Only when he completely lost sight of her did he turn back around, when he looked over though he felt his heart drop when he saw that man, Eren Kruger standing in front of his dad with a syringe in hand.

Zeke rushed forward,he wouldn’t let this stranger take his father from him as well! But as he got closer his nerves picked up with him and was reduced to timidly grabbing his dad's hand and staring up at the other man, Grisha looked down to him and he flinched as his hands came down on his shoulders.

“Zeke, it’s ok Kruger is going to help us but I need you to stay back for a few minutes, I’ll come get you I promise but please, I need you to stay away for now okay?” Zeke stared into his dad's eyes, frozen to the ground as he watched tears brim in his fathers eyes. “Please Zeke, say something I need to know that you will be okay.”

Zeke glanced up towards this Kruger guy and back to his father, what was he supposed to say? How was he expected to react to all this? “Zeke please.” He took a breath trying to find word, he saw hope fill his dads eyes but it quickly fell away when Zeke choked, coughing for a moment before simply nodding his head and moving out of the way, slowly moving down the stairs of the wall towards the destruction of the docks, he looked around at the blood being slowly pulled into the ocean by waves, but it still left a thick red stain.

He flinched as he heard the boom of someone transforming into a Titan, holding back tears as the powerful blast rung out above him, he dropped to the ground holding his ears and struggling not to sob, his dad was going to be fine, he was going to be fine, this was all a bad dream and he was going to wake up in bed soon, and he was going to go see his mom quietly get breakfast ready as she always does, his biggest worry will be his monkey falling off his bed in the night.

Zeke froze, his hands dropping from his ears as he looked out over the ocean, his monkey was gone forever… He finally broke, tears spilling over his eyes and running down his cheeks, he had lost his home, his mom, his monkey. The stuffed toy had always been there to comfort him, when he had gotten a bad grade, when he had gotten hurt or when his parents were fighting.

He remembers the day Grisha had gott it for him, he hadn’t had as many expectations then, he would take his monkey everywhere and would sit and watch his mom wash it when it got dirty, that toy was a reminder of a better time, a happier time, just fitting that he lost his monkey now, when he needed it most.

Zeke sniffled and coughed quietly into his chest, hugging his knees close and looking out over the water. He doesn’t know how long he was sitting there crying but eventually his dad joined him, he had deep scars over his cheeks and steam was flowing off his body but Zeke didn’t care, he was there! When Grisha sat down Zeke wasted no time in climbing into his lap and burying his face in his chest.

They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other Zeke was confused for a moment when he felt his dad wheezing against him, he thought maybe he was hurt but when he looked up he saw tears streaming down his face. Zeke leaned back so he could get a better look at his dad, the man sniffed wiping his tears away before pulling Zeke back into his chest, “I’m so sorry Zeke, I’m so sorry.”

Zeke buried his face back into Grisha’s shirt, why was he apologizing, Zeke had known that Marley had known about them and he still hadn’t warned them, he hadn’t gone along with mister Ksaver’s plan to save himself either tho, but that didn’t change the fact that her essentially let this happen, it’s my fault dad.

Zeke flinched as he felt the world shift around him, he looked up from Grisha’s shoulder as he was carried back up the wall, he couldn’t remember the last time his dad had carried him like this, he wasn’t going to complain though, instead he let his head drop back down and closed his eyes as the sun set behind them.

“We can’t go back home okay, we need to go north, we’ll go to the wall’s okay, if we explain who we are, if we beg we may be safe.” Zeke whimpered as Grisha gently put him down, “if they refuse I- I’ll get you out of there, we’ll keep going north, try Hizuru next yeah?” Zeke nodded, coughing softly into his hands as he wiped his tear stricken face.

Grisha grabbed a knife; the knife mister Kruger had used before, and cut into his hand. Zeke covered his ears as a loud boom rocked the air, when the light died down Zeke looked up to where his father had been to see a large fifteen meter titan reaching down for him.

Zeke quickly climbed into the titans hand, holding on tight to one of his fingers as they dropped down to the sand below, Grisha pulled his hand up towards his titans face, Zeke scurried over climbing onto his dad's shoulder and hiding his face in the titans hair as they began to walk out into the island, the same direction the other Titan had gone. Zeke leaned into the titans neck and closed his eyes, his dad would protect him if anything came after them, right? He could take some time to sleep right?

Chapter 3: Found

Summary:

Zeke stares into your soul

Chapter Text

Grisha grunted in pain as he pushed through another bush of thorns he had dropped from his Titan almost an hour ago, not wanting to be seen as a threat to the people of the wall’s. He adjusted his hold on Zeke, the sleeping boy shifting slightly as Grisha stumbled over a rock.

“Damn, you're getting too heavy for this Zeke.” He sighed when the boy only pressed his face into Grisha’s shoulder. The man took a moment to look up at the large wall ahead of them, it towered over them birds calling as they flew over the barrier. “Great… where’s the door, is there a door?” Grisha pondered under his breath as he began to walk around the edge of the wall.

His walk didn’t last long though, as the sound of hoofbeats made him freeze, holding Zeke close to his chest he looked around for where the possible danger may be coming from. Grisha was suddenly thrown onto his ass as a horse jumped out in front of him and reared up, Grisha gasped in shock and rolled away from the animal as it came back down.

He looked down to check on Zeke when he heard a small squeak come from the boy after being jostled about. Zeke was looking wide eyed up at the creature that had just nearly trampled them, Grisha followed his son's gaze up to the horse's rider, an aggressive looking man who was probably close in age to Grisha himself.

“Hey, you! What are you doing here? How did you get past the walls?” Grisha stuttered as he found his way back to his feet, he picked Zeke back up the boy seemed to stare the stranger down, Grisha could even see the man shudder under the boy’s gaze. “You have a child with you? You two are truly lucky there’s not been many titans around today! Follow me, we'll get you back inside.”

Grisha nodded following after the man's horse, they weren’t walking for long though as they ran into a group of men and women all on horses and wearing green capes. He ignored the questions the group of people started yelling at his as he followed the first man onto a horse drawn carriage, the man sat across from him and watched as Grisha gently laid Zeke down to rest.

He whispered a quiet thank you as the man shrugged off his cloak and handed it to him, Grisha laid the green fabric over Zeke, patting down his curly blond hair before turning to the other man, “thank you, for finding us.” The man scoffed at him, “you’re lucky I did, how did you get out here anyways? And with a kid at that!” Grisha stuttered for a moment trying to think of what to say to this man “Ah… I- I’m not sure, um this is my son Zeke-“

“Your son? You don’t even look that old yourself!” Grisha fumbled again wondering to himself why that was an issue for this guy, “I’m 27… I had Zeke when I was 19” the man’s mouth fell open in shock, Grisha could only fidget uncomfortably under his gaze. It wasn’t uncommon in the Eldian internment zone to have kids young, by this man’s reaction it wasn’t as common here in the walls.

Grisha looked away in shame as the man continued to look at him in shock, “I’m Grisha… by the way.” The man shook himself from his stupor and nodded toward his awkwardly, “I’m Keith, you’re going to be a lot of paper work you know.” Grisha gave an awkward laugh and looked back towards the man, he was not laughing… “ok.”

A few hours had passed, Grisha felt like he was about to pass out after walking across the island all night, he was shocked back awake as he heard a great rumbling, he thought maybe titans were descending on them but when he looked up he saw a large gate being lifted revealing an entrence into the walls, Grisha craned his head back looking up into the wall as they passed under it.

Passing into the walls he felt like he had been thrown into cold water, a hoard of people had gathered in the street and was staring them down as they passed through, Grisha could feel the disdain in their eyes and he lowered himself into the carriage and out of veiw. He looked down to Zeke who was just starting to stir awake, the boy slowly sat up and looked out over the crowd, the sound of shocked gasps ran out through the people as the caught sight of Zeke.

“A child?”
“Why is there a child?”
“Was he outside?”
“Is he okay?”

Grisha grabbed Zeke, pulling him towards his chest to shield him from the oncoming gossip, but the people still chattered demanding to know what was happening, once the gate was closed behind him Keith stopped their march through the city to announce to the gathered people how they had found him and Zeke on the outskirts of the wall, how they would investigate and make sure there was no breaks in the wall to ensure everyone’s safety.

The people were muttering and fidgeting among themselves, all eyes were on them, one particular gaze seemed to stare right into his soul, as he turned around he spotted two young soldiers riding beside eachother, a blond boy who seemed curious and calculating, the other, well that one made Grisha’s heart stop for a moment, the individual was giving them a manic smile, the sun glinting off their glasses obscured their face and their messy pony tail only added to the deranged look. Grisha slowly turning away from them.

Zeke however wasn’t phased as he was starting the two down with his own calculating gaze. The blonde man waved to him awkwardly only to slowly put his arm down when he got no response. Grisha didn’t want Zeke interacting with these two, they seemed sketchy, he was pulled from his worrying however when the line started to move again and they were moving again, passing under another wall and deeper into wall Maria, from what he had seen so far these people couldn’t ever entertain the idea that he had possibly come from somewhere beyond the wall, he might as well play into it for the time being, it may be the safest option for them.

Chapter 4: I want to go home

Summary:

Post valentines sad boi

Chapter Text

Zeke was having fun for once, the nice crazy looking person named Hanji had handed him a doll and was asking his a million questions faster then they could breathe, not that Zeke was paying attention to their questions, he was too busy focusing on his new doll, the toy had straight blond hair and a pretty white gown, she reminded him of his mother, he hugged the doll close and quietly stood up to go show his dad.

When he found him he noticed that he was in the middle of talking to the stranger named Keith, Zeke walked up behind his dad, holding the doll and awkwardly waiting for them to be done so he could show it to his dad, Grisha eventually noticed him standing there and tuned to him, “Zeke, is everything okay?” Zeke nodded, casting a quick glance at the other man before holding the doll out to his dad.

“Oh? You found a toy? She’s very pretty.” Zeke nodded, pulling the doll back into his chest before he climbed up onto the chair beside his dad, “hey, Zeke. Keith here has arranged for us to stay in a bar motel in the shingashina district for a while okay.” Zeke had no damn clue what shingashina was, he didn’t even know what a motel was! He knew bars were restaurants for adults though, he had never been in one before, he nodded excitedly, he wanted to live in an adult drink restaurant! That was cool!

If he was gonna be going to live in the bar though he’d need to say good bye to Hanji! He jumped from his chair and rushed back into the other room, he found Hanji just fine, they really stood out. He rushed over to them and stood beside them as they talked to their friend ‘Moblit’ about something to do with a wall and other people. He didn’t care frankly, he just tugged on Hanji’s sleeve. When they finally turned towards him, he gave them a small wave.

“Aw. Are you leaving?” He nodded and held the doll out to them so they could take it back. Before he could even comprehend it, he was suddenly grabbed by the other and squeezed into a tight hug, “oh it’s okay little man, she’s yours okay.” Hanji put him back down gently, Zeke hugged the doll tightly to his chest, giving a small nod to Hanji before he ran off to go back to his dad.

It didn’t take very long for them to be loaded into another carriage, this one had a roof though! Zeke reached out to touch the cloth, it was rough and bumpy, he couldn’t even think of anything else he had felt that was like this. “It's canvas.” Zeke looked back towards his dad with a raised brow, canvas? Canvas is something you paint on, not a food for a carriage.

Grisha chuckled as Zeke went back to investigating the fabric, his interest was short lived though, as he wandered towards the hole in the front of the carriage and watched as the horses trotted on. They didn’t look like the big gentle horses back in Marley with their furry hooves and grey fur. These horses were narrow, infact he could see their last few ribs, they must be starving!

Zeke looked around the carriage wondering if there was anything here for the horses to eat, when he couldn’t find anything he huffed and looked back over to the horses, how could someone make such a skinny animal work? He sat, angry and fuming for the rest of the ride, he’d get the horses something when they stopped.

Zeke stumbled back to the boot of the carriage, the looked out at the small clay and wood buildings that were homed in the walls, it was a very different experience then the cold bricks that made up the houses in Marley. Even the road, the ground was cobblestone, it was a nice change from the paved ground that stretched for all of the interment zone.

Zeke was pulled from his admiration of the new world around him when he felt fire burn up his throat, he rolled back into the carriage, coughing into his sleeve and Grisha moved over to rub his back, “Zeke?” The boy stifled his coughing, giving his dad a small nod. Coughing ment he was sick, sickness ment he couldn’t go to warrior training, not going to warrior training ment he was useless, being useless ment mom and dad would fight…

But there was no warrior training anymore, there was no mom anymore, there was no restorationists to be useful for anymore. Zeke crawled into Grishas lap, curling up as small as possible as images of the wall flashed behind his eyes, he felt his dads arms wrap around his shoulders, everything was different now, it was horrible.

“Dad, I want to go home…”

Zeke felt his father shake and he looked up when he felt water hit his face, Grisha was crying. Zeke burrowed back into his dads chest as the man cried, “don’t do that to me Zeke.” The boy looked up in confusion as Grisha reached out to push back his bangs. “I know you’ve always been a quiet boy, but you hadn’t spoken in days, I was so worried.”

Zeke nodded quietly as Grisha explained, he didn’t know why not speaking was a bad thing, if he had nothing to say why would he say it, he simply huddled back against his dads chest as they road back into the city they had first seen when they came into the walls.

Chapter 5: New place

Notes:

I am late? Yes.
This is short? Yes I have a long chapter next I promise

Chapter Text

Grisha watched Zeke like a hawk as the boy stumbled back to the road from the bar's barn, horse feed spilling from the bucket with every step. He turned to the beautiful young lady who had come out to greet him and Keith, cutting in on the duo's conversation, “You’re sure he’s fine, taking the feed from the barn?”

“Oh yes!” The lady cooed looking past the two men to watch as Zeke shoved the bucket up into one of the horses face. “Isn’t he quite the horse handler.” Grisha grimaced at the thought of Zeke working with horses, he really couldn’t think of Zeke filling any role in this new world they had landed themselves in, he had been so set on Zeke being a warrior, he hadn’t thought about something as mundane as a stable hand.

“So you’re Grisha then?” Grisha snapped back to the two other people in front of him, the lady was now right up into his face and he had to take a step back to compose himself, “ah! Yes, I’m doctor Grisha Jaeger, it’s nice to meet you…” he felt his shoulder climb up to his ears, the awkwardness setting in as he realized he hadn’t listened at all to Keith introducing the poor girl.

She didn’t seem to mind though, as she dived in to grab his hand and shake it with a force that made him fear she may pull his whole arm off, “Carla Magnolia! It’s a pleasure to meet you, mister Jaeger!”

“Doctor…” Grisha muttered under his breath as Carla turned to lead them into the bar. “Come on boys I’ll show you around!” Grisha nodded even though neither Carla nor Keith were looking at him. He glanced back at Zeke who was now on his knees shoveling spilled horse feed back into the bucket. “Zeke, come on!” The boy fell over with how quickly he turned around, you could see the embarrassed flush covering his face as he scrambled away from his mess to make his way to his fathers side.

Grisha sighed to himself as he watched Zeke pat the dirt off his pants before he marched forward into the bar. He followed the others into the bar, it was the same as any other bar, tables sat up along the floor, the actual bar along the back and a set of stairs leading up to the second floor which was the motel part of the building according to Keith.

“It’s very nice of you guys to set this all up for us, you didn’t need to do this.” Grisha felt a shiver rush up his back when he heard the patrons of the bar start whispering, he could hear them quizzing each other about his accent, he could hear them saying something about a forest in wall Rose. He shook off his worry when a sudden bout of violent coughing from Zeke filled him with dread.

He rubbed the boys back trying to calm his coughing fit. “Zeke? Are you feeling alright?” Zeke nodded as Carla rushed over to them with a glass of water. “Here drink!” Zeke took the glass and began to chug the drink down, Grisha sighed and continued to rub his son's back as the boy finished the water and handed it back to the woman.

“Thank you miss Curl-Ah.”
“Carla.” Grisha quickly corrected his sons pronunciation, Carla could only laugh at the two of them as she took the empty glass, “you can call me Curla if that’s easier hun, come on let’s go upstairs” Grisha couldn’t miss that bright smile that spread over his son’s cheeks as they followed Carla up the stairs, it was the same smile he would get when Dina would teach him how to make sourdough for the neighbors, or when he taught him to tie his boots, simple things that seemed to make Zeke so happy, and he never noticed.

“Zeke?” The boy looked up at him wide eyed, his smile dropped from wide and toothy to a slight grin as he waited for Grisha to continue, “do you… like helping with the horses?”

“No, they smell like dog poo.”

Chapter 6: Starting from scratch

Summary:

Enjoy a little Zeke chapter, with a little sadness of Grisha learning how to single dad

Chapter Text

Zeke sat on the edge of the bed, watching his feet kick back and forth as he listened to his dad busy himself around the room they had been given, “I need to get us new clothes, we can’t walk around in the city with the same stuff we’ve been wearing the last three days.” Zeke pulled his feet up onto the bed picking off his boot before sliding off the mattress to place them neatly on the floor.

Zeke stepped back to admire his shoe placement, nodding to himself in pride before getting ready to leap back onto the bed, only to be caught half way through by his dad. “Come on my prince, it's time to get washed.” Zeke screeched in terror gripping hard onto his dads arm as he was dragged out of the room and toward the communal showers.

He heard a door open somewhere down the hall yet no one came to save him from is father’s wicked clutches, “it’s just a shower Zeke please!” Zeke felt tears brim in his eyes as he was placed down on the tiled floor of the showers, he looked up at his dad, putting on his best puppy dog face to no avail.

“Come on Zeke arms up, you’re almost nine I shouldn’t have to help you with this.” Zeke stuck his tongue out, how dare his father question his showering abilities! Zeke pulled his shirt over his head and threw it as hard as he could at Grishas chest. He could hear the man laughing behind him as he got ready for his shower, he reached up to pull the rope that would turn on the shower head, just reaching it and jumped back when cold water hit his back.

Grisha pulled him back under the cold water and began to scrub him clean, he was sure he had lost a layer of skin when he was finally free, he ran from the shower he could hear his dad yelling about putting a towel on but that could wait. Zeke pushed up on his tippy toes to look at himself in the mirror, opening his mouth he pressed his fingers into the spaces where his teeth had been pulled.

“Zeke, don’t touch your gums, they’ll get infected.” Grisha gently pulled his hand away and began to dry Zeke off with a small towel. “They took out all my teeth!” The towel flopped over his head, messing up his hair and making it stand out on end. “Not all, just the molars, besides you’ll grow new ones.”

“No!” Zeke pointed to a pulled tooth on his bottom jaw, “this one was my big boy tooth!” Zeke watched as confusion shadowed Grisha’s face “huh? When did you lose a molar?” Zeke shrugged to himself looking embarrassed. “Well I lost it in training almost a year ago, and Peick said, if I put it under my pillow a fairy would take it and leave me a treat, but when I woke up it was still there so I threw it out.”

Grisha sighed and wrapped the towel around Zeke before lifting him into his arms, “why didn’t you tell me and mommy about your tooth?” Zeke shrugged, why did it matter anyways? It was just a tooth, it didn’t seem important? So why was Grisha acting like it was?

Zeke smiled up at his dad as they made their way back into their room, he was placed onto the bed and he flinched when his dad suddenly opened his mouth to look over his swollen gums. “Just try not to poke at it, okay? I need to go get washed myself. Will you be okay on your own?”

Zeke nodded watching as his dad slowly left the room going back up the hall towards the shower. Zeke threw the towel off himself and rolled from the bed, looking around in all the drawers to see if he could find any clothes, no luck, he did manage to find a bathrobe though.

He crawled back into the bed with the robe tied tight around his waist. The long fabric swallowed him up as he curled up on top of the sheets. He closed his eyes, slowly drifting into an uneasy sleep.

His dreams brought him back to the shore wall, but it was just him, his mom and dad. He watched tears streaming down his cheeks as his parents were kicked from the wall turning into titans, but they didn’t wander away this time. The ring of a sickly voice crept up his back, “I want to see you hold out for as long as possible.”

Zeke caught his breath when he felt something collide with his back and he was free falling towards the ground, he watched the open maws of the two titans coming closer and closer, hands reaching up to grab him, the fall seemed to go on forever. But just before he landed he threw his arms and legs out gasping awake as he thrashed around the bed, the candles in the room had all gone out, the curtains closed tight, it was pitch black all around.

Zeke pulled the blanket over his head, looking around the dark room and pulling his feet up to his chest, “dad?” He whimpered quietly into the blackness. Zeke froze when he heard footsteps approaching the room, two people headed straight for him. He pulled the duvet over his eyes and fell straight onto the mattress, “go away, go away.” He closed his eyes tight and pulled in his limbs, staying as still as possible, if he made no movement, no indication he’s there they will walk right past.

Zeke’s soul shattered when the footsteps stopped in front of the door, he could feel the pressure in his nose for telling the coming tears, he curled up tighter only to feel like he had fallen to earth when his dad's voice came from the other side of the door. “Thank you so much again Carla, I can’t thank you enough for helping me get clothes for me and Zeke, I’ll need to pay you back when I can.”

“Well maybe you can start by helping out in the bar? I know you said you’re a fancy doctor and all but I could use a hand.” Zeke rushed from the bed, tripping over the nightgown he was still wearing and pushed the door open just enough to get through and run toward his father. Zeke clung to Grisha's side, shoving his face into his dad's hip, he could feel his dad press a hand against his back in support. “I’d love to help out, but I can’t leave Zeke all alone-“

“Yes I can see he’s not quite okay with being alone if this is how he is after a few minutes.” Zeke felt himself turning red at the woman’s words, he took a step back from Grisha’s side, sniffling slightly before taking a deep breath, he wasn’t scared, he could be alone.

The two adults agreed to try and figure something out before Zeke found himself being herded back into the room, he crawled back up onto the bed and watched as Grisha put a bunch of bags down beside him with a big sigh, “well, I got us some clothes Zeke.”

“No, Miss Carla got us clothes.” Grisha laughed whispering a slight ‘right’ as he started pulling clothes from the bag, he held a pair of pajamas against Zeke's chest, judging his size before handing him the clothes, “go get that on and we can hop into bed okay?”

He took the pajamas, inspecting them closely before nodding and starting to get dressed for bed. He climbed under the sheets curling himself into a tight mass of blankets and closed his eyes, drifting back off to sleep as he listened to his dad bustling around the room in the darkness.

Chapter 7: Fuccin Reiner

Summary:

Come on Carla it’s Doctor Jaeger get it right!

Chapter Text

Grisha groaned as he woke up, his limbs spread out over the bed, a small mass was curled up against his side and he shifted over as slowly as possible as to not wake Zeke. He looked at the boy, curled up alone in the middle of the bed and gently reached over to cover him with the blanket.

Grisha busied himself getting ready for the new day, he planned to take Carla up on her offer to help in the bar, some work was better than none. He paused for a moment, spotting something from the back pocket of his pants from Marley, he walked over cautiously, grabbing the object and holding it up to inspect.

It was the family photo they had taken a year or so ago, he smiled to himself as he rubbed his thumb over Dina and Zeke, he turned towards his boy, still curled up tight and placed the picture on the nightstand before he left the room.

Grisha could smell meat and eggs being cooked in the bar's kitchen, he hummed curiously as Carla rushed from table to table tidying them up getting ready for the day. “Carla? Do you really open this early?”

“Only on weekdays!” Grisha nodded glancing at the sign showing the bars open hours Monday to Friday and chuckled to himself. “Well if you need help let me know, I need to pay you back for those clothes.” She simply threw an apron to him with a smirk, “then you best start mister Jaeger!”

“Doctor…” he muttered to himself, tying the apron on and following her towards the kitchen.

It had been hours and Grisha could feel his back caving in on itself after bussing so many tables. Carla was still up and kicking though, as if this was nothing! Grisha heaved a great sigh when a familiar face pushed the door open.

“Keith! Help, I think I’m falling apart.” The man faltered for a moment as he watched Grisha rush over to him, “ah! I see Carla has put you to work already, if you're falling apart now I’m sorry since the lunch rush should be happening soon.”

Grisha took a step back confused, lunch? He looked around the table trying to see if Zeke had snuck down at some point, the boy was an early riser used to getting up for his warrior training but Grisha hadn’t seen him at all.

“Carla?” He watched as the woman emerged from the kitchen, giving Keith a kind smile as he walked over to them. “I told you not to hover Keith-“ Grisha cut her off, feeling worry boil in his stomach. “Have you seen Zeke? He's usually up by now.”

She shook her head and Grisha turned to begin speed walking up the stairs towards the room, maybe Zeke had slept in or he was just playing alone like he used to. Grisha pushed the door open, looking at Zeke who was curled up in the bed still, the sound of wheezing rasping from him with every breath.

Grisha rushed over, putting the back of his hand against Zeke's clammy forehead and felt his stomach drop when a burning heat met his skin. He could hear Carla and Keith following him into the room but it didn’t matter, Zeke's little cough had progressed into actual illness and Grisha was panicking.

He didn’t have any of the tools or medicine he had back home, how was he supposed to help his own son if something like this happened? He was a doctor for goodness sakes, how was he not prepared!?

Grisha pushed Zeke's mouth open and regaled back at the smell of infection, the boy's tonsils and throat were swollen and red, and his tongue was coated white, Grisha took a shaky breath as he let the boys head rest back on the pillow before he pushed Zeke’s shirt up to reveal a red angry rash all up the boys back.

“Scarlet fever?” He muttered to himself as he pulled the shirt back down. “But how?” And then he remembered, the day they had been arrested he had been to see young Karina’s infected child. Had he not sanitized properly? Had he forgotten something? Of course, Zeke had stuffed his monkey in Grisha's bag that morning, “because you were worried’ the boy had said and Grisha had given it right back to Zeke without thinking.

Grisha sat on the bed next to his son and let his head fall into his hands, he had no antibiotics, no treatment plan, he hadn’t even had a second thought about Zeke's cough, he caught colds all the time and was fine but this? “This is all my fault…”

He felt a hand land on his back and he looked up to Carla who smiled at him warmly, “it will be okay! Children get sick all the time, me and Keith will be glad to help look after him!” Grisha looked up to the man he was quickly begging to consider a friend earning a nod of confirmation at the offer.

Grisha nodded to himself, he had to think, he knew tons of plants used to make antibiotics, but who was to say if they were native to this goddamn island. “Do you two know if there’s any cress weeds with small white flowers growing around?”

Chapter 8: Confession of a Small Child

Summary:

Sick zook bby

Chapter Text

Zeke rubbed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the room around him, his dad had just been here. He could swear it but it was so hard to find him through the uneasy haze that draped over him like a blanket made of lead.

He reached out over the bed until his hand met another’s, but the skin was softer, the fingers thinner, was he dying? Had his mom come to take him away from here? “Mommy?” He whispered as he reached out to hold onto the hand in front of him, another hand, cool and calming reaching over him to feel his forehead.

“You’re still really hot dear, did you need anything? Some water? A snack?” Zeke whimpered, pulling his hands away when he realized the accent was different, the voice softer. He curled into a ball as the lady pet his hair away from his face. “I’m so sorry Zeke dear, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Zeke rubbed his eyes again and looked up at the blurry image of the lady looming towards him, it was Miss Carla, he turned away to cough into his pillow before reaching up to the woman. “Miss Carla, where's my dad?”

She didn’t even hesitate to lift him up into her lap, stroking his hair back and away from his face, “well, your dad is a little bit busy hun.” Zeke didn’t know what she meant by that but when she turned into her elbow and coughed Zeke spotted the rash rushing up her neck.

“Miss Carla, did I make you sick!?” She seemed to freeze for a moment, turning back to him and preaching up to pull her hair over her shoulder to cover the rash, “sick? No no I’m fine Zeke!”

Zeke could only stare at her, she was lying, hiding her illness, probably because Zeke was sure if his dad knew he would make her be stuck in a room to rest and recover and Miss Carla didn’t seem the type to enjoy that. “Where’s dad?”

“Your dad and Keith went to the interior walls to find you some medicine, they should be back in a day or two…”

“And, how long has he been gone?”

“About three days.” Zeke felt tears spring to his eyes, his dad had left him here, for three whole days he’d been left behind, his dad must know that he knew about their imminent arrest. Did he blame him? Was he the reason everyone was titans now!?

Zeke sniffled, sweat and tears running down his face, he pressed into Carla’s dress, he couldn’t let her see him cry, he’s supposed to be a warrior candidate! No… not anymore, now he’s just a kid with no one who wants him.

“Oh sweet heart, it’s okay your dad will be back soon!” But he wasn’t, was he, Miss Carla will see that as the days drag on. “I want mommy…”

“Do- do you know where your mommy is?” Zeke’s mind flooded with the memories of his mom's body ripping and tearing as she fell from the wall becoming a monster that would probably eat him whole before recognizing him as her son.

“My- my mommy isn’t my mommy anymore.” Carla simply rubbed his back comfortingly “I’m so sorry hun, I’m here tho, I promised your dad I’d help look after you.”

Zeke leaned into the lady, sniffling quietly as she gently rubbed his back, slowly drifting off to sleep again as the sickness closed in.

When he next woke up it was to the sound of coughing, Miss Carla sitting beside him as she shook his shoulders, he sat up reluctantly as she held a bowl of hot stew out in front of him, “come dear, you have to eat something, with how skinny you are I’m surprised you haven’t dropped dead yet.”

“Dad says I’ve always been skinny… that I’m always sick.” He felt a hand press against his cheek, he leaned into it slightly as he began to eat his soup. “Well, that explains why your poor dad freaked out when we saw you were sick.”

Zeke huffed into his soup, if he was so worried then why did he leave? Zeke pushed a spoonful past his lips, wincing as the broth burned his sore throat. Mister Ksaver wouldn’t leave him… except he had Zeke remind himself, mister Ksaver had been there, watching as they pulled his teeth and bruised his body, and he hadn’t tried to save him.

Zeke sniffled, tears spilling from his eyes as the memories came back, his tongue felt heavy and stiff in his mouth but he pulled it over the gaps in his teeth anyways. “Oh Zeke dear, please don’t cry, your father will be back by tomorrow morning I swear it!”

Zeke wailed as he pushed his soup away, his sick muddled brain pulling up image after image of those officers looming over him, “no! Pa, he swore, he said I wouldn’t end up like auntie Faye but I did! He was gonna let them eat me! They were gonna eat me!”

Gentle calming arms wrapped around him, holding on tight as he cried and screamed, he could feel himself swaying over the open air, could see the Titan below him maw open ready to eat him whole, is that what his aunt had seen when she had been thrown to those dogs, rows and rows of teeth, ready and waiting.

Zeke cried, leaning into Miss Carla as the soup grew cold, he held onto her dress, tears soaking into the fabric as he shook with fear. A gentle hand rubbed gently along his back easing his fears. “It’s okay little one, I’ll be here to make sure they don’t hurt you until your dad gets back okay.”

He shook his head holding on tight as he drifted off once more, the sickness grabbing him and pulling him back onto the bed once more.

When Zeke woke up again it was to that familiar feeling of his father patting his head like he would when he was proud of him, something only his dad could do in that special way. He leaned into the touch and screwed his eyes shut tight, too scared that if he opened them the man wouldn’t actually be there.

“Come on Zeke, I need you to drink this for me.” His eyes flew open at the sound of his dads voice, a confirmation that he hadn’t just imagined the touch on his head, Zeke gthrew himself into his dads arms, almost spilling the tea he didn’t notice was in the man’s hand’s. “Zeke! Be careful!” He could only sob, clinging to his fathers shirt as the man gently lowered the cup onto the nightstand.

“Come on Zeke, I need you to drink this, it will help you feel better.” Zeke sniffled as his fingers were dislodged from his dad shirt and he was gently pushed back onto the bed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I should have told you.”

“Should have told me? What do you mean Zeke?” Zeke could only shake his head in frustration, taking a moment to rub the tears from his eyes before he could speak again, “I heard them talking, those officers, they knew… and then Mister Ksavier, he wanted me to- and I!”

“Zeke! Please calm down, I don’t think I quite understand what you’re trying to say…”

Zeke burrowed himself deep into his fathers chest, there was no way he could look the man in the eyes while he said this, sniffling into the fabric as he felt his dad’s arms come around him, holding his close, “I heard them talking, they knew about our family and the restorationists three months ago, I wanted to tell them that it was you, I thought that if I did me grandma and grandpa would be safe but I was to scared… dad, I got everyone killed…”

The silence stretched between them, for a moment Zeke was scared that Grisha would never speak again until the man’s arms gave him another tight squeeze before grabbing the cup from the nightstand. “Have your medicine Zeke.”

Zeke took the cup, cradling in his hands as he leaned away from the man, but before he left Grisha pat his head gently like he always does and gave him a sad smile, “Zeke, don’t ever be too scared to save yourself again. Okay?”

Grisha didn’t wait for an answer, he simply stood up and walked back to the door, leaving Zeke to quietly sip from his cup, the pit in Zekes stomach seemed to grow deeper with every passing moment.

Chapter 9: Epidemic

Summary:

Short chapter because I’ve been busy;-;

Notes:

I wanted to post this for my birthday but the size still seems short so I’m just posting it it will never be a suitable length

Chapter Text

Grisha could hear his heart beat in his ears, he had really messed up hadn’t he? Poor Zeke looked so fearful admitting all this to him, and he had let his own emotions get to him instead of staying to comfort his boy.

Maybe he should go back? Zeke seemed very upset, he probably needs him right now. But as he hesitated on the stairs, ready to return to his son's side he heard Carla’s voice call out to him.

“Grisha! Grisha, come we need you!” Grisha felt his heart crumble, as hope to return to his son's sickbed was dashed across his face. He rushed down the last of the stairs and made his way towards the front of the bar where Carla was gently sitting an elderly man down at a table.

Panic rushed through him as he sprinted towards the two, “sir are you alright? Are you hurt?” The man shook his head before turning away to cough into his hand. “No- no it’s my daughter in law; she’s sick, it’s getting worse her skin and chest, she is struggling to breathe I-“ the man broke off into another violent cough.

Grisha rushed over to the man, gently patting his back to help ease the coughing. “Did you take her to a hospital? I hope a bar wasn’t the first place you thought of coming to.”

The man shook his head, gently waving Grisha off of him. “No! No, the clinics are all full, no one can take her in.” No one? Grisha felt dread fill him as he spotted a bright red rash creeping up the man’s neck.

“Your daughter in law! Does she have this same rash?” The elderly man nodded solemnly, “my boy as well.” Grisha took a step back, looking the man over, of course the people in the walls had never experienced scarlet fever before, they had no knowledge of it, it didn’t exist on the island, at least it didn’t exist up until he and Zeke arrived.

“Go home, bring your son and daughter-in-law back here, I can help you okay, mister-?”

“Arlert.” The man finished, reaching out to shake Grisha’s hand before he got up to go fetch his family. Once he had left the bar Grisha turned to Carla with a determined look on his face.

“We need to close the bar down! People need treatment and if the clinics are full this place will have to work.” Carla nodded, rushing over to start pushing tables off into corners and out of the way as Grisha ran upstairs to grab their extra blankets and pillows.

“Dad?” He pauses for a moment glancing over to Zeke standing in the doorway wrapped up in his own blanket. “Hey- Zeke we’re going to have a lot of sick people coming to stay okay, they have what you have so I’m going to do my best to help with what we have got okay?” Zeke nodded, he grabbed a stack of blankets and began shuffling his blanket wrapped self down the stairs with them. “I’m helping! I don’t have to quarantine if everyone is sick.”

Geisha nodded, picking up the rest of the blankets and followed his son back down into the bar. Zeke threw the stack of blankets to the floor and took a step back as Grisha did the same.

He sighed looking down at the old scratchy blankets, “they’ll work for now.” He muttered and began to lay them out in rows. One after another he laid them out, making sure they were clean and straight before he heard the door open once more. Mister Arlert shuffled in, him and a man about Grisha’s age himself supporting a young woman.

Her rash had spread up into her face and she was rasping with every breath. Grisha sprinted across the bar, he helped the other two men to lay the woman down on one of the blankets. “Zeke, go ask Carla to put water on the stove!”

Grisha didn’t have to look to know Zeke had listened, he could hear the boys panicked footsteps rushing off towards the kitchen. “Miss Arlert can you hear me? My name is Doctor Jaeger okay? I’m going to help you.”

Grisha leaned away from the lady as her and her family began to sob, thanking him and praising him, honestly he was at a loss. Even though scarlet fever was common among children in Libero it was still dangerous, and that was with proper treatment.

Grisha stepped away from the family, making his way into the kitchen he found Carla carefully showing Zeke how to work the stove, memories of Dina and Zeke preparing Banana bread for Grisha’s patients late at night filled his heart as Carla gently guided Zeke's hands around the kitchen.

But there was no Dina here, and Bananas didn’t exist on this damn island, same with any other plant that would be remotely useful it seemed. Grisha grabbed Zeke from behind, pulling the boy into his chest as he crumpled to the floor.

Grisha pressed his face into his son’s hair, trying to hold back his sobs as he felt Carla’s gentle hands rest on his shoulders, but her hands weren’t right, he fingers were short, cuts and calluses that weren’t present before, no, Carla’s hands had always been worked, Carla made her worth. But she still wasn’t Dina.

She doesn’t need to be Dina though, she’s still Carla, she’s still his friend and she was there to help him.

Chapter 10: Pyre of the dead

Summary:

Enjoy more plague and despair!

Notes:

I love making people suffer

Chapter Text

It had been three days since people had started coming into the pub to be treated, Zekes rash had also resided into a few patches of scabs that his father demanded he not scratch at. The patients were fun to talk to tho, people from all over the city, all walks of life, everyone had their own story!

As Zeke wandered between the rows of sick people laid out on blankets he fiddled with the sanitary rag tied around his face. Dad said it was necessary to protect himself from everyone’s illness, he thought that was silly. He looked up towards Miss Carla, a rag tied over her own face as she began to quietly pass out rolls of bread and butter she had just finished baking.

Zeke jogged along the rows of people gently shaking them awake to recive their bread. He reached an old man, Zeke had heard this man’s story, he had recently lost his wife and his son and daughter and law had moved up to trost for a job offer, he was lonely but he was nice, Zeke liked him!

He pushed against the man’s shoulder to rouse him. “Mister K!” The man laid still his skin was cold and his body rigid, Zeke pushed against him again, “Mister K? There’s bread rolls wake up.”

He could hear the other people muttering around him as he looked up to the old man’s face, the man’s lips were a light blue colour and his eyes were sunken in, he nudged the man one more time before Carla dragged him away from the man, “Zeke go get your father.”

“But mister K is gonna miss out on the bread rolls.” He saw Miss Carla’s face scrunch up as if she was in pain, was she hurt? What’s wrong? “Miss Carla?” She shook her head and gently pushed him away, “go tell your dad mister K needs to go okay?”

Zeke hurried to find his father in the kitchen of the bar, he was scribbling something on some paper, “pa! Mister K won’t wake up!”

“He won’t wake up? What do you mean, my prince?” Zeke took his fathers arm and dragged the man back out into the bar. Grisha looked down at the man for a moment before his eyes glazed over and a shadow fell over his face.

“He’s dead, Zeke.” Zeke followed his fathers vision back to the man laid still on the blanket, dead? People didn’t die of sickness! His dad and grandpa always kept them all safe! People died from gunshots, or Titan, or well dogs. Zeke felt a shiver rush up his spine as mister Arlert and a man in a uniform like mister Keith’s but with flowers on it rushed forward, offering to help with the body.

A shallow hole was dug outside the bar, Mister K’s body was gracelessly pushed into the hole by the three men. Zeke watched from the front door, he could feel Miss Carla’s hands resting on his shoulder as if to settle him, but this wasn’t the first body he’d seen, these walls weren’t an escape from what a horrible world he had been born into, he remembered that now, he wouldn’t let himself be caught off guard again.

Over the next week the body’s in the hole piled up quickly, mostly elderly, children or already sick individuals, his dad was working hard to counter the spread, and had set up a booth outside of the bar where he would give the people of the city a small slice on their shoulders and rubbed the scabs of the rashes against their wounds. Those people would get a fever for a day or two but would be running around the day after, healthy and free from the infection.

Grisha was working tirelessly, between treating the sick and protecting the healthy yet the pile kept growing. Zeke snuck his way back into the bar, he walked along the lines of patients, watching them like a hawk. He quietly made his way over to the Arlert’s and pressed a hand against Mrs Arlerts forehead.

“So, doctor Jeager, how’s my fever?” Zeke huffed at being called ‘doctor’ he wasn’t like his dad or grandpa, he couldn't be a doctor! “You’re still hot! You need rest.”

“Maybe I need someone to talk to?” Zeke hummed, looking around at the rest of the patients he had yet to check, “hmm, I don’t know…”

“I know you're busy but, just a few minutes?” Zeke hummed before he nodded, sitting himself down beside the woman. “Okay! Hmm okay! What’s your favorite thing to do?” The woman chuckled at Zeke’s question, awkwardly sitting up to look at the boy better, “well I’m an engineer, I build things.”

Zeke hummed to himself, he hadn’t heard that word before, and the most he had built was a gun in warrior training, “is it fun?” She nodded to him tiredly, “you know those boxes those soldiers carry around everywhere?”

Zeke nodded eager to hear her stories. “Well, my husband designed it, and I built it!” Zeke gasped she built all those flying contraptions? She must be really busy! “Those things are funny! They're like balloons but for individuals instead of groups.” The woman tilted her head curiously at him, “Balloons?”

“Yeah balloons! You know the flying balloon! The big hot air filled bubble with a carriage under it so people can ride it!” The woman looked at him in shock, as if he had said something preposterous, “you know- right?”

The woman looked him over as if she was seeing him for the first time, studying him, inspecting him, “Little Jaeger… they found you and your dad outside the wall’s right?”

Zeke could feel sweat riding down his back as the lady watched him, staring through him and tearing him open, “Zeke? Zeke, can I get some help here?”

Miss Carla! The woman’s voice pulled him from Mrs Arlerts stare, he rushed to his feet, he had to get as far away as fast as he could. He jogged toward the kitchen, rushing to grab onto Miss Carla’s skirt for security as she stirred a batch of rabbit stew over the stove. “We’ll need to thank mister Ackerman later for supplying the rabbit meat alright?”

He nodded pushing off of her to go grab the bowls from the serving counter, he had no clue who mister Ackerman was, apparently a man who was good at hunting rabbits. “Miss Carla, I’ve never eaten rabbit before.”

He heard the woman gasp in shock, Zeke looked over towards her in confusion as she studied him, “no wonder you’re so skinny! No rabbit? No duck? What has your father been feeding you? Scraps?” Zeke chuckled as she poked and prodded his stomach and shoulders, “I knew a boy you’re age shouldn’t be so small, I’ll have to make sure Grisha knows he can’t keep feeding you unfulfilling food.”

Zeke snickered under his breath, thinking of his dad getting chewed out by the vicious woman, “dad says I was born sick, that I’ve always been skinny and I’ll get bigger when I’m older!” Carla huffed, turning back to her stew, “you’ll get bigger when you get proper food I’m sure!”

Zeke simply smiled, holding back onto her skirt and watching as she began to scoop out portions into each bowl. He quietly leaned into her side, his cheek pressed against her and he let his eyes relax as he listened to the slosh of the pot, he wanted to be just like Miss Carla when he was older.

She was so strong and smart, she exuded power and she didn’t need special blood, special titles or a fancy red arm band for any of it! Yeah he wanted to be like Carla, free to be as strong and free as anyone without ties to it, didn't that sound nice.

“Can you help me load the cart dear?” Zelda nodded, pushing off the woman and beginning to fill the lower trays of the cart with stew. There were 42 bowls in total, 3 less than yesterday. Miss Carla patted his head gently, it wasn’t the same familiar way his dad would push his hair from his face but it was welcome nonetheless.

“Here, you enjoy this and rest for a while while I hand out the food alright?” He nodded, taking a bowl of stew and a bread roll from her, he rushed over to the stack of boxes he had claimed for a seat in the kitchen and began to dip his bread in the broth.

He kicked his legs excitedly as he bit into it, he was happy he didn't have to tiptoe around avoiding the Arlert’s for the rest of the night! They were scary. He took a bite of the meat in his stew and groaned in disappointment, it was very chewy.

He sat in the kitchen, chewing and slurring happily for a few minutes before he heard a crash and a bang coming from the main hall. He rushed from his seat to make his way towards the commotion, peeking out first he gasped as he saw Miss Carla passed out onto the ground, the tray's contents spilled out onto the floor as people gathered around her muttering, Zeke rushed out towards her.

He rubbed her back gently as she coughed behind her mask, “Miss Carla? What happened?” She simply continued coughing, sputtering at the end and reaching out to rub at his arm in a comforting manner, “I’m okay, I’m okay.” He pushed her to the ground, preventing her from getting up with his small weight. He pushed her hair from her shoulders revealing the rash across her body.

“Dad. DAD!” He heard footsteps rushing towards him, his dad on the way through the rows of people as he made his way towards Carla and Zeke. “Carla? No, what happened, are you alright?”

Carla coughed as Grisha lifter her into his arms, she was pale, how had he not seen this before, Zeke watched as his dad ran his fingers over her rash before he began to walk her down the aisles of the sick, and broken, he laid her onto one of the blankets gently before he pushed his hands into his face and held up a sobbing breath, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m alright Grisha… I’ll be back on my feet tomorrow…” she slowly closed her eyes, her breath evening out as she began to sleep. Zeke looked up towards his dad with concern, “she’ll be okay?”

Grisha took a few quick breaths, Zeke could feel the anger rolling off of his father in waves, as if the world had just shown him the most horrible, most depraved of imagery. Grisha glanced over Zeke’s head looking out towards the pile of looming bodies outside the bar.

Grisha rose to his feet, making his way towards the kitchen, Zeke nervously followed behind him, “dad?” He watched as Grisha grabbed the flint from the table and stormed past him to head towards the front door of the bar. “DAD!”

Zeke followed him still, he found his dad on his knees in front of the mound, flint in hand as he struck the stone. It took a few attempts but eventually the sparks landed as a slow flame began to spread over the pile of bodies. He hadn’t even noticed his dad was screaming too caught up in watching the fire grow over his head, swallowing the once living breathing people, people with stories, family who may not even know they are dead yet and hopes for things to get better, swallowed whole by the teeth of the hot blaze.

“Have we not given enough! Have we not lost everything already! And you still push more! More! More! It’s all you take! If it’s our fault for this famine blame me! Not these people! Not Carla! Not Keith! Or Hannes or anyone! They don’t deserve this pain! And what? I just watch and suffer as my patients die!? I can help them! I can! But… but I can’t with what you’ve given me! Give me my tools to help! Please!!”

Zeke watched his father scream up to the sky, the flames dancing around them as he felt a cool tear run over his cheek, and like that had started an acceptance, lights of fires rose over the buildings of the city, each clinic across the district lighting their own pyres of flesh and hair, he could smell it, burning meat, it made his stomach turn yet he couldn’t look away from the flames.

He remembered something his Grandpa had said to him, back when he was younger, when he was scared of the monsters hiding in dark corners, his Grandpa had spoken calmly, how the real monsters showed themselves completely, they didn’t have fear for there was no reason to hide, they didn’t lurk for they had a immediate goal, and they didn’t wait to kill, they’d kill you right there. As Zeke stood over his father’s crumpled form, the blaze heating his face uncomfortably, he understood, this was that monster. And it was horrifying.

Chapter 11: Bad news, good news

Summary:

Not as exciting as next chapter will be! More character building.

Edit: oh god, they’re flirting… horribly!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Grisha groaned as he woke up the next morning, his throat was burning and his eyes stung from screaming over the fire. He could feel Zeke’s small form pressed into his chest and sighed at the reminder that he still had something to fight for.

He pulled a hand up to gently push back the locks of hair that blocked Zeke’s face from view and sighed sorrowfully as he assessed the tear tracks evidently making the boy’s face. He wrapped his arms around the boy, a few more minutes here with his son were surly warranted after last night.

He heard the boy start to sniffle, tears slowly trailing his face. Grisha pushed the bangs on the child’s face back once more, taking in the boy's face. “You look too much like me huh…” Zeke curled up tightly as Grisha pushed himself up to a sit. He poked Zeke's side, hoping the boy would giggle, squirm even squeal but he only curled up tighter.

“Zeke, can I cut your hair for you?” And soon the two found themselves in the bathroom of the bar, Grisha held a pair of kitchen scissors in his hands and began carefully cutting away clumps of hair.

“I don’t know where you got these curls from, maybe my family was hiding them, they definitely didn’t come from D- from your mom.” Zeke simply hummed in response as another clump of hair fell away from his head.

“I hope I’m not cutting it too short, you let me know if you want me to stop, okay?” Another hum followed by a few more snips Grisha had never had to cut Zeke's hair before, that had always been Dina’s job, he pulled the bright curls out straight and cut through the lock. Grisha winced to himself as the curls bounced back up, landing quite a bit shorter than the rest.

“Shit” Grisha muttered to himself, wincing when Zeke looked up at him in confusion, “ah! Keep your head straight Zeke, I’m doing my best.” The boys simply hummed once more, looking straight and Grisha scrambled to even out his trim.

“Papa…” Grisha froze mid cut, Zeke hadn’t called him ‘papa’ in quite a few years now, he leaned over to look at his son's face, tears making the boy's eyes shiny as their gaze met Zeke to a deep shivering breath before he continued. “Are Grandma and Grandpa okay?”

Grisha felt a shiver go up his spine, he truthfully had no clue, there weren’t many happy fates for those whose family were incarcerated as restorationists were there. “I’m sure they're fine! Your Grandpa is the smartest man in the world you know!” Zeke nodded quietly, looking forward again and Grisha took a deep breath before continuing his trim.

“There! All clean again.” Grisha felt a wave of pride as he looked over his handy work, it wasn’t exactly perfect but it was damn good enough! Zeke climbed to his feet, making his way from the bathroom quietly, “I’ll go make the Breakfast for the sick.” Grisha watched as the boy walked away, rushing to his feet and stopped his son before he could reach the top of the stairs.

“Zeke, you’re all better right? Why don’t you go outside? Meet some of the other kids, make friends.” Zeke fidgeted with his hands, his eyes bouncing around as if he was looking for something before he quietly nodded and crept down the stairs, past Grisha.

Grisha followed him down the stairs, rushing over to give him a hug before he could leave. “Come back in time for lunch.” Zeke seemed to relax a little into Grisha’s hold, nodding before he let go and made his way out to the street.

Grisha made his way into the kitchen, sighing to himself as he opened a bag of oats, pouring them out into a large pot over a fire pit. He was in for a long day, but he was an adult! He was the Attack Titan even! He could make some dang porridge and serve his patients!

Grisha loaded the cart with bowls of porridge and slowly wheeled his way out to wake his patients and check their vitals. It was menial tasks, it wore on his brain and took him all day to jump between everyone. It was a very long day before he found himself sitting down with Carla, pressing a cool wet cloth to her forehead.

“Grisha?” He jumped slightly as he heard her speak, he pulled the cloth away from her face to check her over, “hey, how are you feeling Carla?” She coughed quietly and Grisha gently pushed her up to sit.

“What time is it?” Grisha hummed looking up to the clock on the wall, “just after lunch.” Carla suddenly pushed herself off the floor, stumbling forward and falling back to the ground, “no! I slept in! What about everyone’s breakfast! What about their medicine!”

Grisha hushed her quickly and pushed her back onto her blanket, “hey it’s okay! I handled it okay! And here’s your medicine as well.” He handed her a small cup and watched as she quietly sipped the tea he had made. “You make horrible tea.”

Grisha huffed under his breath at the quip and glanced away from her, “it’s medicine.” Carla chuckled as she continued to sip her medicine, “you know Grisha, you really-“

Carla’s sentence was halted when the front door flew open, Keith stood in the door looking over the people in the bar before he spotted them and began to make a beeline for them. Grisha hopped to his feet, rushing over with a face cloth extended out to the other man, “how many times do I have to tell you to wear a face cover here, there’s sick people!”

“Grisha.” He felt his chest shake at the gravity of Keith’s tone, something was wrong. “Keith?”

The other man sighed, taking the face cloth from Grisha, “the sickness, it’s spread through the survey corps, some of our newer recruits and the commander have fallen ill.” Grisha took a step back in shock, “huh? Have you been washing like I told you-“

“Yes Grisha, I did everything, they still got sick, I have them here, help me bring them inside?” Grisha nodded, following Keith out to the carriage he had come in. The people in the carriage were mostly young teens, he could recognize a few including one of the newest recruits Zoe Hanji.

He started with a young blond man, the kid was pretty solid and attempting to lift the boy reminded Grisha that he wasn’t as strong as he was when he first joined the restorationists. “Keith!” Grisha sighed to himself when the other man rushed over to help him carry the boy.

“Miche what did I tell you about sneaking extra rations? You weigh a ton!” The young man simply groaned as they dragged him into the bar, laying him out carefully on a blanket next to Mrs Arlert.

“Miche was it? Rest up we’re gonna help you and your friends okay?” The boy nodded and Grisha made quick work getting some of the others inside, Hanji of course, an older teen named Erwin and a 15 year old named Moblit. The current commander of the survey corps who was definitely the worst of the group.

Keith dotting as ever hoovered around the other survey corps members, waking them for medicine and rushing to get them cool towels to push back their fevers. Grisha watched his friend bounce between these people, a sense of family tying them together.

Grisha sighed as he remembers the hopeful faces of his friends, the people he had let down. Now these were the people calling for his help, people who didn’t know the violence that existed among humans outside the wall, only the monster, the plague he and Zeke had brought to them without knowing.

He best get back to work, if scarlet fever had spread outside of Shingashina he had his work cut out for him.

~*~

It had been three days since the survey corps members had arrived at the bar, the body’s had been piling in the pit once more and Zeke would leave every day, disappearing just after serving breakfast yet he always came back for lunch, never staying out too long.

Today the boy came back with a wooden structure strapped to his back filled with sticks and a red scarf wrapped around his neck. “Hey! Where were you Zeke? Where did you get all this?”

The boy fidgeted with his fingers as he walked farther into the bar, unloading the sticks next to the main fireplace. “Well I was talking with mister Hannes yesterday, he wanted to know how his wife was doing, he was really upset you limited his visits, said he doesn’t get sick. But I told him it was getting hard to get enough fuel for the fire because the bar isn’t running! So today he gave me this!” The boy pulled to contraption from his back and held it out to Grisha.

“It’s for collecting sticks! And then he gave me this scarf and told me to stay warm because winter is coming.” Grisha hummed to himself as he took the stick carrier from his son, “I’ll need to thank Hannes later when we discharge his wife tomorrow.”

Grisha smiled as he watched Zeke's face brighten up, staring up at him in shock and wonder. “Really!? She’s okay!?” Grisha simply nodded as he watched Zeke dart bouncing on the spot, rushing over towards where he knew the young woman was, no doubt trying to find a way to talk to everyone around her.

Grisha smiled as his son hugged the woman tight, it was high time they got some good news. Grisha took some of the sticks Zeke had collected and threw a few into the fire, Hannes was right, winter was coming soon, from what he heard from Keith and Carla he expected it to be harsh, they rarely got snow in the city in libiro, and what they did get was more slush then snow.

He just hoped that an influx of cold damp weather wouldn’t impede his ability to heal everyone. He hummed to himself when he felt a warm hand fall onto his shoulder, “you’re thinking too hard, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Carla, shouldn’t you be resting?” She simply sunk onto her knees beside him, pulling a stick from the pile and beginning to poke the flames. “You shouldn’t get Zeke's hope up like that, one person getting better isn’t the end of all this…”

Grisha nodded to himself, Zeke was a smart boy, he probably knew that better than anyone. He peaked over his shoulder and watched as the boy ran down the rows of patients towards where the survey corps officers had been situated. “Should keep an eye on your boy Jaeger, if you’re not careful he’ll be indoctrinated by Keith and his groupies.”

Grisha chuckled to himself as he watched Zeke animatedly begin a conversation with Hanji and Erwin. “If that’s what he wants, that's not my choice to hold him back… my biggest concern at the moment is that his friends seem to be a group of teens 7 to 10 years older than him.”

He looked up to meet Carla’s shocked gaze, she looked down at him in disgust as if he had just admitted to being a criminal, technically he was back home. “What?”

“What kind of a father are you? You would honestly, WILLINGLY allow Zeke to become a part of the survey corps!?” Grisha stuttered under his breath for a moment as he locked eyes with her.

“Huh? I mean. What would I do? Tell him no? Besides, Zeke wouldn’t willingly go back out there again… And even if he did, if anyone is surviving out there it would be my sons.”

“Sons?” He heard Carla whisper, he felt his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, had he said sons? Multiple? He had two right? Zeke and- and? An unkempt mess of short dark hair and bright challenging eyes but who was that? “Did I say sons? Hah, I think I have enough Zeke to last another 10 years, don't you think?”

Carla chuckled to herself as she turned back to the fire. “Maybe it’s one of those things you keep saying you forget? Liar. There’s no way you forget your whole life in one night. And Zeke as well? You don’t seem the type to let an 8 year old get drunk with you.”

Grisha felt his chest drop, of course some one would call him out eventually! Why hadn’t he planned for it! “Look Carla!”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone, if you told me how you two got out there I promise I wouldn’t tell, I don’t know if you’re scared someone will take Zeke away or if they will hurt you both but… I promise.”

He quietly looked down to his hands, if he thought to hard on it he could still feel their numbness, like they weren’t really there, like they were still severed and any moment he’ll wake up again on that ship heading to the island, but this time when he opened his eyes he’d be alone.

Grisha sighed, rubbing his hands together awkwardly before he turned to Carla again, “maybe I’ll tell you… someday.”

She simply smiled and returned to stoking the fire, the two sat quietly while the chatter from the patients behind them grew excited and hopeful, learning that Hannes’s wife would be headed home tomorrow.

Notes:

Next time: Grisha says ‘yes’ to murder!

Chapter 12: Monsters of all sizes

Chapter Text

Carla hated that she was stuck being told to ‘rest’ and ‘heal’ this was her family’s bar for crying out loud, she had a duty to serve people in it, and she had half the mind to say exactly that to Grisha! She could practically hear him already. “Just because it’s ‘your bar’ doesn’t mean you can’t get sick, I’m a big fancy doctor, blah blah.”

“I’m sorry?” Carla froze at the sound of the man’s voice, she awkwardly turned towards him, “oh Grisha! I’m feeling much better today! So you don’t have to worry about me!”

Grisha raised an eyebrow before he pressed his palm to Carla’s head, “you still feel very feverish though.” Carla huffed and pushed his hand away, “I’m fine okay! I’m going to clean up around MY bar.”

“Why are you angry?” Carla simply rolled her eyes and turned away from him, hiding her blush from being caught making fun of him. She quietly climbed the stairs and pushed the door to the guest room open without thinking, she just needed to find a quiet place to think about her feelings.

When she turned to face the room she felt her chest bottom out and brought a hand to her chest when she saw Zeke sat on the floor. “Zeke! My goodness I thought you were outside!” Zeke was holding a rag doll out in front of him, a large tear almost taking off its arm.

“I was, and then one of the other kids called her ugly and and hurt her.” Carla carefully made her way towards the boy and sat beside him, she watched as he carefully used the medical tape Grisha had picked up a few days ago to carefully wrap the dolls ‘wound’ closed.

“Oh dear, do you know who it was? I can talk to their mother for you?” He simply shook his head and held the doll out to admire his handy work, only for the tape to start peeling. “I already let him know it was wrong, he won’t be grabbing anyone's toys for a while.”

Carla nodded, and gently took the doll from Zeke, looking over the dirt stains and the awkward tape job. “How about I wash and fix this up for you?” Carla felt her heart sore as Zeke smiled at her.

She made quick work to lead the boy back down stairs, picking up any extra laundry on their way, depositing it in the wet room in the back of the bar, before they left. Carla led Zeke down to the river to collect some water. “You know Zeke, when I was your age my mother would take me down to this river to try and catch the fish.”

Zeke seemed enthralled at the idea of fish in the water, he rushed towards the river and watched as dark shadows wriggled under the current. “You act like you’ve never seen a fish before.”

Zeke shrugged and reached out to one of the shadows, he wasn’t fast enough and the fish continued its leisure swim. “I’ve only ever had canned fish though.”

“Canned?” What was a can? Maybe it was one of those words children made up when they don’t understand things? Maybe he’d just never seen a living fish?

“The ocean around home is way too dirty for fish, all full of trash and oil, the fish can’t live in it.” Carla was more confused by the second, why would there be oil in the water? What is the ocean? No she knew the ocean, a memory of a large body of water, stretched out over the pages of Mister Arlert’s book.

Carla quickly looked around, she felt her heart pounding in her neck as she looked around for anyone who may be listening in. “The ocean? Is that where you and Grisha came from?”

She felt her stomach sink when Zeke gave her an excited nod, “Zeke can you do something for me?” Another nod, this time more cautious and unsure, “please don’t talk about it, not out where people can hear okay?”

Zeke looked concerned for a moment, he quickly glanced around like she had done earlier, pulling his hands close to his chest and fidgeting with his fingers nervously. “Is someone going to hurt us?”

Carla felt a shiver rise up her spine as she spotted it at the back of Zeke's mouth, Holes? No injuries, where his molars should have been, now left with gaping caverns leading into his jaw. The gums were beginning to heal up and the openings clean, no doubtibly from Grisha’s efforts, but Carla could only wonder, what happened to these two? “I won’t let them, okay?”

Zeke didn’t respond, simply pressing close to her as she filled the basin with water. “Let’s hurry back now.”

The way home was quiet, Zeke keeping his eyes down and his hands firmly clutched to Carla’s skirt, she hurried them through the streets, the bar in sight. She paused though when she saw a familiar horse tied up outside the doors.

“Ackerman? He wasn’t coming back with more game yet, was he?” The two continued their hurried steps up to the bar, Carla quickly putting the water down by the door as she spotted Mister Ackerman panicked, explaining to Grisha that his wife was in distress.

“Please! My wife, she can’t lose another baby, it will break her…” Cala raced over to the two men, gently pulling the frazzled Mister Ackerman away from Grisha, “what’s going on here!?”

“It’s my wife! She’s sick, and I think she’s miscarrying again, I can’t…” mister Ackerman paused, pressing a hand to the side of his head and gritting his teeth, “please, Dr. Jeager… please help her.”

“If she is sick she should be here with the rest of the patients!” Grisha shook his head at Carla’s comment, “no if she may miscarry we can’t move her, it will just be too stressful, We’ll have to go to her.”

“What about the rest of the patients?” Grisha nodded, looking out over the bar filled with the sick who had landed in their care. Grisha seemed to straighten his back before he made his way over to the group of Survey Corps Soldiers who were huddled around the 11th commander, who was quickly deteriorating. Grisha gently pulled Keith away from the group and led the man back towards the conversation.

“Keith, I need to leave, just for today, I have an out of town patient to take care of, you just need to make sure everyone takes their medicine and gets their dinner okay?” Keith blinked at him awkwardly before he nodded “dinner and medicine. Got it!”

“Carla can help you with-“

“Excuse me? ‘Carla can help you’ no! I’m coming with you!” Carla huffed to herself at the dazed confused expression on Grisha’s face, “you heard me, this is a lady’s issue as much as it’s a medical issue. I’m helping! I’m not leaving Mrs. Ackerman alone with a bunch of men who have no experience with pregnancy.”

Grisha awkwardly looked down at Zeke, making eye contact with the boy for a brief moment before he looked back up at Carla again. “You know what I mean Jeager.” Grisha nodded awkwardly, bending down to pick up Zeke and bring the boy close to his chest.

“Fine, I’m sure you and Hanji will have no problems figuring everything out, ok, if you need anything, ca- ask Mister Arlert okay?” Keith nodded, “will do Doctor.” The man reached out to give Zeke a slight pat on the head, ruffling the kid's hair before he turned to rush back towards the group and soldiers again.

Grisha adjusted his hold on Zeke briefly before he began to make his way out the bar, “come on you two let’s load the carriage.”

“So Zeke is coming?” Grisha nodded, gently putting the boy on the small carriage mister Ackerman had rode in on, “the less work I give Keith to do the easier I rest at night.”

Carla snorted to herself as Grisha rushed back into the bar to grab his medical supplies along with some medicine. Carla grabbed some feed and water for the horse from the bar's stables, making sure the covers on the buckets were on tight before she pushed them on to the carriage. “So much for cleaning your doll Zeke.”

“It’s okay, we can do it tomorrow.” Carla nodded, awkwardly climbing into the carriage with the boy as Grisha came back, pilling his bag in before joining Ackerman on the seat off the carriage.

The ride was nerve wracking, hearing the pain in mister Ackerman’s voice as he spoke to Grisha of the many times his wife had miss carried as well as their family situation broke her heart. “I wouldn’t wish such troubles on my worst enemy.”

She glanced over to Zeke who was quietly fiddling with his dad's bag, opening and closing the clasp making a low clicking sound, “Zeke dear don’t play with that.” She muttered, pulling the boy's hand away from the clasp.

Carla felt a cold chill rush over her as they quietly rode into the forest, Grisha turning around and crawling into the carriage with them caused the wheels on the carriage to creak and Carla to jump as the carriage shifted with his weight.

“Don’t do that, Grisha! It almost gave me a heart attack!” He simply chuckled as he grabbed Zeke, pulling the boy into his lap and pressing his face against the boy's head. “Ahh! Snooping in my bag are you?”

Zeke squealed, kicking his legs as he was lifted up against Grisha’s chest. “You little beast! I’ll gobble you up for snooping! Nom nom nom.” Zeke squealed some more as Grisha pressed his face to the boy's belly before releasing him, watching as the child rolled away from him.

“No! I wasn’t snooping I promise!” Grisha chuckled, watching Zeke roll around on the carriage giggling. That was until Zeke’s demeanor seemed to shift entirely, the boy freezing and looking off into the forest around them.

“Zeke?” Carla muttered as the boy stared wide eyed into the trees, the light in his eyes dim as if he were somewhere else. “Someone’s here.” Grisha muttered under his breath.

“Doctor Jaeger, is something wrong?” Grisha shook his head, slowly climbing to his feet as he followed Zeke's gaze out into the forest. “I’m not sure, Zeke, come away from the edge.” But the boy seemed rooted to the spot as the carriage suddenly stopped.

The three passengers were thrown about the back at the sudden break, Grisha quickly stumbling to his feet and rushing towards the front with Mister Ackerman. Carla pushed herself upright and glanced between the two men. Seeing a small girl with a gun in her hands and a bag strapped over her shoulder, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders seemed to paint her face a sad, somber portrait.

“Out hunting young lady? Be careful, I nearly ran you off your feet there.” The girl hummed, her gaze flowing over their group. As if analyzing them all. “I’m sorry, I’ll keep my eye out next time, might I ask where y’all are headed?”

Carla didn’t like this girl, something in her gut knew this wasn’t any good, she glanced towards the men, Grisha also seemed to have a distrustful look on his face, Carla sighed, at least she wasn’t imagining the tension in the air.

Yet despite the tense feelings surrounding them Mister Ackerman answered the girl, polite as ever. “We’ll young Miss, I’m escorting the doctor here to help my wife, she’s not well at the moment you see.”

“Doctor you say? Ain't no one doing good right now sir, there’s a plague going around, a lot of people who could use some doctor's medicine.” Grisha shifted back towards her and Zeke, Carla could see the muscles in his jaw tense as he grit his teeth looking down at the girl.

“You're right, quite a few people aren’t very well, you make sure your sick stay safe alright.” The girl nodded, shifting the weight of the gun in her hand as she spoke, “I sure will sir.”

The girl was suddenly flying up towards them, the butt of her gun coming down hard against mister Ackerman’s skull, sending the man falling to the ground below the carriage.

“I’ll be taking that bag from you now, mister doctor, I’ll be needing it.” Carla felt a shiver run up her spine as the girl glared down at them with cold eyes. “I’m so sorry miss, but I have an urgent patient I need to see-“

Grisha didn’t get to finish his sentence, the girl began to lift her gun, ready to strike again when a blur of yellow and blue rushed past them, the girl let out a painful scream as Zeke landed on her leg, blood flowing around them as Zeke pushed a scalpel blade deep into the girls thigh.

The girl screeched in anger, lifting her gun over her head, ready to bring it down on Zeke when Grisha was the next to bounce into action, rising up to meet the girl and wrestling for her gun. “DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY CHILD!” Grisha’s voice, echoed by another man’s voice coming from the bushes behind them.

A loud bang sounded through the forest, Carla watched in terror as blood sprang from Grisha’s chest. The man’s mouth dropped open, as if to scream yet no noise passed his throat. The girl quickly pushed Grisha away and a man rushed up Behind Carla and grabbed the doctor's bag from beside her.

“You stupid girl! Are you trying to get yourself killed!” She heard the man snarl as Zeke ran towards Grisha, Carla could only watch in fear as Zeke fell over his dad’s injured chest. “Pa! Get up! Pa? They got your bag!”

Carla bit her lip, holding back tears as a wheezing sound rolled through Grisha’s chest. “What did you think you were doing girl!? Trying to take three grown people by yourself? You knock one out and get stabbed by the child? What did I do to deserve a brat of a daughter?!”

“No dad. Please!” The man dug his fingers into the wound on the girl’s leg, pulling on the wounded flesh as he grabbed her face with the other hand. “NO! I’ll be good! I promise I’ll be good!”

“You fucked up Nanaba! Now I had to kill an innocent man for you!” Carla quietly picked up the girl's gun, pointing it at the violent man as the girl continued to cry. “Let her go…”

The man slowly turned to Carla, Dropping the girl and leaving her to run off into the forest. “Do you even know what you’re doing with that gun girl?” Carla took a deep breath, her hands shaking as she watched the man step closer. The world seemed to freeze for a moment, static filled the air between her and this agresser, this man who would certainly go on to attack that girl once more, maybe even many others. “I know enough-“

And then it happened. A boom, a flash of light and Carla was sent flying from the carriage. Her ears ringing as she landed on her shoulder, the pain spreading through her arm as she rolled onto her belly. “Zeke.” She croaked out painfully as the ringing began to dull. She opened her eyes slowly, looking around for the boy, yet what caught her eye first was something monstrous, something impossible.

A Titan, fifteen meters high at least, towered over the wreckage of the carriage. The beast’s fist glistened with blood as it held the crushed remains out the attacking man up towards it maw. It swallowed its meal with a loud wet gulp before its sunken eyes wandered towards her, its pointed ears swiveled forward like a cat that was assessing something of interest.

The Titan began to reach towards her. Yet as she tried to push up, to run away from the monster, pain rippled over her shoulder, leaving her to cry out as the massive hand loomed over her. Was this where she would die? At the hands and teeth of a monster? Tears rolled over her face as pressure closed around her body and the Titan began to pull her towards its face.

Chapter 13: Human and all that come with it.

Notes:

I’ve not been posting and I’m truly sorry, I had a lamp post almost take out me and my car in a blizzard, then I had a lymphnode infection that led to a cancer scare as well as irritating my heart issues. I’m still having trouble breathing but the anime is airing again and we must power through!

Chapter Text

Grisha pulled the person in his hand close to his face, the blurry figure coming into view, “Carla!” He shouted. Hot flesh pulling on his cheeks and jaw, right he was in his Titan.

Grisha pushed himself from the overwhelming flesh, letting the steam billow out around him and looking over the pointed ears on the Titan. “CARLA! Are you alright!?” The woman simply screamed in terror, he could see tears in her eyes as she tried to struggle from his hold.

“Carla! Carla please calm down!” He was gently lowering her to the ground when she bit into the titans flesh, he yelped in pain his hand opening on reflex leaving the woman to fall the rest of the way to the earth, quickly finding her feet as she began to run.

“CARLA WAIT! Wait… ZEKE?” He looked around below the Titan as the sound of Carla’s footsteps echoed into the trees.

He shifted the large titans body around, his heart sunk as he looked around. “Zeke? Zeke please?” Where was he? Had he run off? Had he crushed him!? He glanced up towards the passed out body of Mr. Ackerman.

And there he was, Zeke crouched over the man’s body, pating a wet cloth gently against his brow. Grisha let out a great sigh as his Titan fell to the ground, pulling from the Titan as he began to shakily walk towards them, black spots filtering through his vision. “Zeke are you-“

But then it all became dark, he felt himself falling towards the grass but instead of the cold dewy blades sand hit his cheek.

He looked up into the sky, large white branches climbing up into the starless sky.

“Where?” Grisha shakily pushed himself up, wincing as he looked up to see the sand stretching on forever, no semblance of life in sight except for the strange glowing tree that seemed to encapsulate the whole plain.

He pulled himself to his feet, looking around, he noticed someone in the distance, walking slowly towards him, a woman with long dark hair, her eyes bathed in shadows as her steps gently fell to the sand, not even disturbing it.

“Hello? Hello, excuse me? Could you tell me where I am?” But then he noticed it, the ancient armor fell over her shoulders, the mark of the Marley clam embellished across her chest as she began to walk past him. “They left us, left us here to be used, weapons to be thrown away when we lose our worth… why? Why? Please someone find us…”

His gaze followed her, the deep full faced marks on her face clued him in, “the colossal? But that’s-“ he shook off the feeling of dread that filled him as he looked back up to the large tree, “where am I?”

The light of the tree seemed to grow stronger, enveloping him as he slowly opened his eyes and opened his eyes to the sight of Carla, leaning over him with a scared and confused look in her eyes.

“Carla? What happened?” She sighed as she leaned away from him. “Zeke went after me… Grisha I- I don’t know what you are… but-“

Grisha pushed himself up into a sit, watching the woman flinch away from him. She eyed him warily as they sat in silence, but then- “DAD!” He didn’t have time to brave himself as Zeke landed in his lap, smiling and bouncing with unbridled excitement.

“You scared them real bad! They learned! They learned! They’ll stay away now! And we still got all our stuff!” Grisha could only let out a short huff as Zeke landed on his stomach, he winced and gently pushed the boys back. “Okay! Okay, what-“ his sentence caught in his throat as he looked down at his boy’s face, his eyes wide and dull as he looked back up at him.

“Dad you’re bleeding…” a cold emptiness filled his voice as he sated straight through him. Grisha paused, lifting a hand up to his nose to catch the blood dripping onto his shirt. “Ah… damn it.”

“Grisha… I need an explanation.” Grisha looked up towards Carla, a sense of dread rolling in his stomach, “it’s uh… it’s a long story, we should get to the Ackermans house-“

“Tell me Grisha! Give me a reason not to tell the military police… is Zeke like that? Does he become a monster too?”

A monster? Grisha pulled Zeke close to him again, as if he could shield him from the conversation. “No! No he’s just a regular human boy I swear.”

Carla looked between the two of them unsurly, a glint of light catching his eye, he glanced up, spotting the knife in Carla’s hand. He held Zeke a little tighter, pushing himself away from the woman. “Carla…”

“What are you!” Tears were flowing down her face, she dropped the knife and rose to her feet taking a step back. “What the hell are you?”

“I’m… I’m doctor Grisha Jeager, I’m from a country far away from these walls, I- I and Zeke we are prisoners, prisoners for wanting freedom for our people and sent to your land to be transformed into mindless titans, to eat your people… but I now hold the Attack Titan, I saved myself and my son. We came here for safety, please Carla… I’m not your enemy!” Grisha shifted onto his hands and knees, looking up to Carla with fear.

What if she sold them out? What then? Maybe they could flee to Hizuru? Or maybe they would be handed into Marley as soon as they landed on the mainland.

“Explain it again.” She demanded coldly, brandishing her knife at them with shaking hands. He took a steadying breath, gripping Zeke’s shirt tight for reassurance, he could see the blood on his chin dripping down onto the boys hair, yet Zeke stayed frozen stiff, as if he was expecting the worst, just like Grisha was.

And yet he began to explain, over and over more in depth with each retelling, watching as Carla slowly sank to her knees before him, taking in this impossible story. “So- so then, all those titans? Those monsters? They are just people?”

Grisha glanced back up to her, taking a deep breath before he continued the conversation, “from what I understand, they don’t think much anymore, they are human for sure, but the actual human that is in them is in some… constant waking nightmare…”

“Can we… Can we save them?”

The question hung between them like a stone, dragging them down as he looked up toward the Carla’s fearful gaze, he knew he could see the answer on his face, he didn’t have to say it, but the word was a must, to cut the ties to that stone dragging them to the bottom.

“No.”

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