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Stolen Crown

Summary:

Robin is a peasant with a rather... peculiar oddity. However, her world is turned upside down when she discovers that she comes from royal lineage. Now, she's off on a quest to reclaim what's hers, no matter what it takes.

Notes:

someone i admire once told me "Ultimately... there is nothing graceful about these kinks. That doesn't mean we can't attempt to write entertaining and coherent material". i write this story with them in mind.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Robin licked her lips and clutched her growling stomach as she entered the tavern, coins in hand. It wasn't often that she was allowed to leave her home, given her condition, so she was sure to make the most of this.

She walked up the man in charge, who was wiping a metal glass with a dirty rag, and smiled, "A glass of your finest mead, please."

"That'll be four silver pieces."

Robin shook her head (prices sure have been on the rise lately) but, nevertheless, she handed the man the coins.

He smiled as he took the money, then turned to fill a glass before handing it back to her, "Enjoy."

With a nod, Robin turned to find an empty seat in the tavern, but it seemed like most of the tables were occupied. Since she wasn't able to visit town very often, she didn't have any friends to sit with, and she didn't know how to go about making any friends, either. By the looks of things, she might have no other choice but to drink her mead and head straight home, but she didn't want to do that! She wanted to have a little bit of fun while she still could!

There! She smiled as her eyes landed on an empty seat with only one other person occupying the table. She grabbed her drink and headed over to the spot.

"Is anyone sitting here?" Robin asked the man (a troll, from the looks of things) sitting across from the empty seat.

The troll smiled as he waved a hand, "No, no, please! Sit!"

Robin sat down. "Thank you. I'm Robin, by the way."

"You can call me Arrach," The troll said. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Robin nodded respectfully, "You as well."

Arrach grabbed his glass of mead, much larger than Robin's, and took and began to chug, some of the liquid spilling from the sides of the glass and dripping down his long beard. Once he had finished his drink, he set the glass down with a sigh, wiping his mouth with his arm.

"So," Arrach said. "I haven't seen you around here before. Where are you from?"

"Just a few meters south from here. I don't get to visit town very often, which is why-"

Robin was cut off by a loud, deep, rambunctious sound from across the table.

BWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

A belch roared out of Arrach, with so much power behind it that it blew Robin's hair back like a harsh breeze, and Robin had to grab her own glass in order to keep if from spilling. After about fifteen seconds of noise, the belch ended just as loudly as it had started.

Everyone's eyes were now on their table; there was no way a single person in that tavern didn't hear that monstrous belch.

The troll's cheeks took on more of a pinkish hue as he brought a fist up to his mouth, though it was much too late for that.

"E-excuse me," He said, embarrassment clear in his tone. "I didn't-"

"What the hell was that?" Someone snapped from the table next to them.

Robin looked over to see a group of knights, clad in their armor except for their helmets, which were resting on their table or by their feet, staring at Arrach in disgust.

"Yeah, and in front of a lady, too!" Another said.

"Mind your manners, you filthy troll!"

Arrach hung his head in shame, but Robin just glared at the table of knights, "Leave him alone, all of you!"

Their looks of scorn moved from Arrach to Robin, but she didn't mind one bit.

"Why are you defending this troll?"

Robin ignored their question, "What are you doing here, anyway? The palace is due north, shouldn't you be bothering people there instead?"

"Mind your business," One said, and they all turned back to whatever it was they were doing.

With a huff, Robin turned back to Arrach, who was still looking down at the ground with an embarrassed frown.

"Hey," Robin said softly. "Don't listen to them."

"I really am sorry," He said, still refusing to face her. "I didn't mean to... it's just that I have three stomachs, you know? So sometimes it's hard to hold it back," He shook his head. "But I should've known better than to drink as much as I had, especially in front of a lady. I'm sorry."

Robin just rolled her eyes, "Oh, please, no need to worry about all of that! It's natural, after all, everyone does it!" Then, under her breath, she added, "Some better than others."

"What was that?"

Arrach must have heard that comment, because he finally looked up at her, a strange look in his eye.

Robin tried to laugh it off, "I don't know what you-"

"You think you can do better, can't you?"

"I certainly wouldn't say-"

"Go ahead, then," Arrach said as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Prove it."

Robin sighed. If he really was this insistent, then what harm would it do to appease him? Besides, she had never been able to show off before, and the thought of doing so excited her more than she cared to admit.

"Alright, then."

Robin cleared her throat and sat up straight in her seat. Arrach looked at her, and then the glassful of mead that still sat on the table, eyebrows furrowing.

"Aren't you going to drink?"

"Don't need it."

"Well, how are you going to-"

She answered his question before he could finish asking it, but not with words.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Rather, she answered with an absolutely colossal belch of her own, so powerful that it actually did knock over her mead, the now empty glass flying across the table and slamming right into Arrach's nose. Around her, windows rattled, and forks and spoons on the tables around her shook from the force.

The belch lasted just over twenty seconds, and just like the previous one, it ended without having ever died down. It beat Arrach's belch in every possible way, in length, volume, and force.

Once it was over, the room fell silent, all eyes on the petite woman who had just unleashed the most devastating belch any of them had ever heard.

Well, everyone except Robin. After all, she held back significantly on that one.

Arrach was the first to break the silence, laughing from shock as he stared at Robin with wide eyes and an impressed grin "Holy hell, las! That was absolutely incredible!"

Robin smiled sheepishly as she bowed her head. It was rare that she belched in front of anyone, but even then, she had never been met with this kind of response before. It was... nice. Refreshing.

Speaking of refreshing, she frowned at the empty cup on the floor, and the brown, frothy liquid that was scattered everywhere after that release, "Oh, no. My drink. I spent good money on that."

"Are you kidding?" Arrach laughed, reaching over the table to pat her shoulder. "After a show like that, I'll go ahead and buy you a drink! I'll buy you as many as you want!"

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"I insist!"

Robin looked into the eyes of the troll before her, all jagged teeth and dirt covering their face, and smiled "Alright, then."

Notes:

this story was inspired by another story i tried to write (the main characters even share the same name!!), which has now been orphaned. but i'm actually liking this story a lot better and am a lot more excited to write it, so i hope you all enjoy it!!

Chapter 2

Summary:

Arrach walks Robin home.

Chapter Text

Four drinks in, and Robin was ready to call it a night. She thanked Arrach for the mead and the kindness, but he insisted that he walk her home.

"Oh, please, that won't be necessary!" She had tried to say, "I know my way back, and I wouldn't want to keep you."

"Nonsense!" He had said. "You're not keeping me from anything, and I would love to continue talking with you if that's alright."

Robin couldn't help but smile. She couldn't remember ever having a friend, but from what she could tell, Arrach was far from a bad option.

"I'd like that."

And so, the two of them walked together through the forest. As they talked, Robin's stomach whined loudly (she wasn't used to having so much mead in her system) but despite her body begging her to release some of the gas trying to escape, she held herself back. After all, her mother had told her time and time again just how important it was to keep her condition a secret, and while she did allow herself to have a bit of fun back at the tavern, she knew she couldn't allow any more than that.

But, that didn't change the fact that she had let one go in front of Arrach, and that meant he had a lot of questions.

"So," He said, kicking some dirt as he walked. "I was just wondering, if you wouldn't mind telling me, that is- but if you do mind, then please don't feel pressured to-"

Robin rolled her eyes playfully, "Spit it out, Arrach."

His cheeks reddened a bit, but he otherwise nodded, "Ah, okay then. I was just wondering, are your parents..." He trailed off, seeming to second guess what he was about to say, but luckily Robin could connect the dots.

"Both human?" She finished for him before shrugging. "Yeah, they are. Well, I've never actually met my father, but my mother says that he's human. And, seeing as how I don't have horns or pointy ears or anything like that, I'm inclined to believe her."

Arrach laughed at that, a shrill, throaty sound, and Robin couldn't help but laugh as well. She realized that it was nice making people laugh.

The laughter died down, though, and Arrach turned to her with a frown, "So, if both your parents are human, then how were you able to belch the way you did back at the tavern? I'll admit that my own belches are pretty powerful, too, but that's just because I have three stomachs. But since you're a human, wouldn't it be impossible to-" He gasped as he clamped a hand over his mouth, looking up at Robin sheepishly. "I'm sorry, that was so rude of me! I certainly didn't mean to-"

Robin laughed as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Arrach, relax! I took no offense, really!"

"You mean it?"

Robin nodded, "Absolutely."

Slowly, Arrach removed the hand from his mouth, "Okay. Would you like me to try to rephrase my question?"

"No, I think I understood what you meant. But, if I'm being honest," She shrugged, "I don't know how I'm able to do it. My mother told me that I've been belching like that since the day I was born, and after years of asking questions without getting any answers in return, I've learned to just... accept it."

"I see." Arrach said. "Thank you for sharing that with me. And-" He paused, taking a deep breath, before looking Robin right in the eye, "And thank you for standing up for me against those knights."

Robin waved a hand, "Think nothing of it! Like I said before, what happened was natural, everybody does it! You don't deserve to be made to feel bad for it."

"You do if you're a troll." Arrach said under his breath.

Robin stopped in her tracks. She hadn't been friends with him for very long, but there was no way she was going to let him beat himself up like that.

"Hey," She said placing herself in front of the troll and placing both hands on his shoulders. "Troll or not, you deserve respect. I'm sorry that others have led you to believe that that's not the case, but you're a living, breathing person, and that alone should be enough to have people treat you right. It shouldn't matter how many stomachs one has, or how bad their table manners are." Arrach chuckled at that one, but Robin was not yet finished. "You deserve to be shown respect and love, and that includes from yourself. So, try not to be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Arrach was beaming at Robin as he nodded, "Okay, I'll try. Thank you, Robin."

Robin squeezed his shoulders one last time before starting to walk once again, "No need to thank me. It's only the truth."

"Yes, but-" Suddenly, the air was filled with a menacing gurgle, this time not coming from Robin. Arrach clutched his stomach and chuckled nervously, "It seems all the mead I had isn't sitting very well with me."

"If you need to burp, Arrach, go right ahead," Robin said. "I won't judge you."

He looked at her, desperation in his eyes as his stomach whined once again, "Are you sure?"

"Of course," Robin grinned mischievously, "Let's see how loud you can be."

That seemed to do the trick, because he began to smile, too, a certain glint in his eyes "Let's."


Arrach still was no match for Robin's prowess, but she could still readily admit that he was very talented in his own right. It was evident in the way his belches echoed throughout the forest they walked through, sending leaves into the air and birds flying away from the deafening sounds. Arrach was incredibly embarrassed before, cheeks growing a deeper shade of red with each monster he released, but after a while he seemed to relax a bit, even allowing himself to smile and laugh after each one.

"I think I felt that one in my chest!" Robin praised after Arrach let out an especially deep belch.

Arrach just smiled, "I must admit that that one felt especially relieving."

Robin laughed "Oh, it definitely sounded like it! Are you feeling any better?"

Arrach patted his shirtless stomach, "Definitely." He turned away sheepishly, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, I didn't do anything!"

They continued to laugh and chat throughout the rest of their walk, no more belches interrupting them, until Robin could see her tiny cottage in the distance.

"There it is!" Robin said, grabbing Arrach's hand, "Let's go!"

Before Arrach could protest, he was being dragged over to the cottage until they stood right outside the door.

"Thank you again for walking me home," Robin said. "Are you sure you'll be able to find your way home from here?"

Arrach nodded, "It wasn't any trouble at all! And I'm sure I'll be able to-"

Arrach must not have felt the air rising up his throat until it was too late, for before he could even attempt to hold it back, he belched right in Robin's face. Once again, it was strong enough to create a forceful breeze, and Robin had to place one foot behind her in order to keep her balance.

As soon as it was over, he clamped both hands over his mouth, his entire face turning completely red, "Robin, I- please excuse-"

Before he could spit out an apology, Robin just began to laugh, resting her head on his shoulder as she gripped her stomach from all the laughter.

"That was a great one, Arrach!" She said, "One of your best ones of the night!"

Arrach scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, "Well, I-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the door swung open, and Robin's mother, Angela, opened the door.

"Robin?" She said, eyes wide, before looking over at Arrach, "Who's this?"

"Mom, this is my friend, Arrach." Robin felt a rush of joy at getting to call someone a 'friend'.

Arrach's face became even more red, a feat Robin didn't even know was possible, "Ma'am, I am so very sorry for..." He trailed off, "It was an inexcusable display of crass behavior, but I can assure you that it won't happen again."

"Wait, that was you?" Arrach flinched at the accusation, but Angela just breathed a sigh of relief, "In that case, that wasn't half bad."

Arrach's eyebrows furrowed, "You're not upset with me?"

"Of course not!" Angela laughed, "But I will start getting upset with Robin here if she doesn't get inside right now."

"Right," Robin entered the house and turned to look at Arrach, "Thank you again for such a good time. I hope we can see each other again soon?"

He nodded, "I visit the tavern most days, so you should be anle to find me in there."

"Great!" Robin waved as she shut the door.

"How was it?" Angela said as soon as the door was shut, "Were you careful?"

Robin nodded, "Always am."

"Good." Angela sighed, "Now, as soon as that friend of yours is out of earshot, go ahead and head outside to relieve yourself. I'm sure you'll feel a lot better."

Robin nodded gratefully as she patted her loudly whining stomach. Relief sounded very good right about now.


"This better be important." King Medius growled as his head knight walked into the room.

"I assure you, sire, it is." The knight said as he bowed respectfully.

"Out with it, then!"

The knight, still with a fist held to his heart, looked the king right in the eye, "We found her."

Chapter 3

Summary:

A continuation of the conversation from chapter two.

Chapter Text

"You're sure?" The king said, glaring daggers at his head knight.

The knight, Kon, nodded. "She was just like how you described, sire. Human woman, looks to be around seventeen, dark hair-"

"And?"

Kon sighed, clearly embarrassed, "And she could belch just as you described."

Medius leaned forward in his seat. "You'rs sure?"

"A group of knights and I were witness to the whole thing. She belched hard enough to almost shatter the windows."

"Where did you find her?"

"A small village on the southern edge of the kingdom, right along the border," Kon said. "There was a tavern, and that's where we found her."

Medius smiled. At long last, the final mark from his dark past was about to be purged for good. Once she was gone, he could fully atone for all the mistakes he had made, and become the man his wife had always seen in him.

He was so close, and there was nothing that would stop him from taking that final step.

"Good work, Kon." Medius said.

Kon bowed humbly. "Thank you, sire." He looked up from his bowing position, "What would you like us to do with her?"

Medius grinned with a sinister edge. "Kill her."

Kon gasped. "I beg your pardon, sire?"

"You heard me!" Medius waved a hand dismissively "I want you to gather up your finest, most trusted knights and hunt her down. I don't want too many people on the job, you hear me? Just enough to make sure she's dead before the week's end."

"Are you sure about this, sire?" Kon asked, finally rising from his bow. "She's just a young woman, surely she poses no threat to the kingdom."

Medius shook his head. She posed a bigger threat to the kingdom than any of them realized, but he couldn't tell them why. He couldn't tell anyone why.

Instead, he said, "Have I not driven out the ogres, and the trolls? The gnomes, and the orcs? The monsters and the demons and every single last creature that has threatened to destroy the peace we worked so hard for?"

Kon flinched a little at his words, but he nodded, "Yes, sire. You have."

"And wouldn't a seemingly innocent human girl with the ability to shatter glass with her belches pose a similar threat?"

"...Yes, sire."

"So wouldn't it be best for our kingdom to dispose of such a woman?"

"But, sire," He tried taking a step forward, but Medius rose from his seat, making him stop.

"I'm sorry, Kon, but I believe there's been a bit of a misunderstanding." He said, glaring at his high knight that just... needed a little reminder of who was in charge, "But there is no argument here. You will kill the girl. Do you understand?"

Koa was tense, clearly unhappy, but even so, he bowed once again, "As you wish, sire."


"Thank you for the delicious breakfast, mother!" Robin smiled as she licked her plate clean. Her mother's breakfast of oatmeal, bread and butter, and a bowl of fruit was simply divine she wished the food would just never run out!

But, not only was it delicious, but it was also very filling. And, with a condition like hers, that could only mean one thing.

Robin winced and clutched her stomach as it writhed inside of her, gas starting to build up inside of her.

Angela frowned at her condition before waving a hand, "Go ahead and head out to relieve yourself, Robin. I can clean up what's left."

Robin tried giving her mother a guilty look, but it looked more pained as her stomach grumbled once again, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, now go before it's too late!"

With that, Robin rushed out the door and towards the forest behind her house. With her expulsions being as powerful as they were, there was really only one place she could go without the risk of anyone hearing her. And, luckily for her, that place was only a few minutes walk from her home.

In her haste, she reached that place faster than she usually did. It was a patch of trees, the branches and leaves so thick and dense that it was almost impossible for any sound to escape this part of the woods. It was perfect for a woman like Robin.

Upon entering, she barely had time to take a breath before the first belch roared out of her.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

The ground shook beneath her, the trees quaked, leaves were ripped off their branches and thrown into the wind. Animals of every kind, birds, rabbits, even a group of deer, all scattered, looking for refuge from the tidal wave of noise.

After thirty seconds, the belch came to an end, and Robin groaned in relief. That felt amazing!

If Robin was being honest with herself, she really didn't mind her condition. In fact, she found it fun to just be able to relax and relieve herself, and she had to admit she was always excited to see how loud and how long she could make her releases. There was something so freeing about it, to just be able to have a space where she could just be her truest self without having any judging eyes on her, or any disgusted looks.

This was Robin. And there was no shame in that.

And so, for the next fifteen minutes, she released belch after earth shattering belch, without shame and without consequence. Each one had her groaning and sighing in relief, until finally, after one not as loud but stretching over a minute long, she felt that her tank was finally empty.

With a satisfied pat of her stomach, followed by a small and cute afterburp, she cleared her throat and began to make her way back home. The journey was quick, though not as quick as the trip to the grove of trees, and after just a few minutes, she reached her cottage once again.

She entered through the back door, "Mother, I'm home!"

She took her shoes off and made her way to the front room, where she had seen her motner last. Where had she gone?

She quickly found the answer to her question when she stepped into the front room, where she was met with Angela holding the door open. A troll, a very familiar troll, was standing on the other side of it, shaking from head to toe as tears silently ran down his face.

Angela turned to face Robin, fear in her wide, dark eyes, "Robin, what have you done?"

Chapter 4

Summary:

A week later.

Notes:

while this is a burping story, not every chapter will have burps. this chapter, and most likely the next one too, are examples of that. sorry!! just know that there will DEFINITELY be a lot more burps throughout this story, but i also have a plot to this story that i have to get through lolll. either way, though, i hope you enjoy!!

Chapter Text

"You're alive!" Arrach cheered, tears spilling anew from his eyes.

Robin looked between her mother and the whimpering Arrach, confused. "What's going on?"

Arrach wiped the tears from his eyes, but his lips still quivered as he spoke, "The knights came back today, but they didn't come to drink. They were looking for you."

Robin gasped, clutching at the wall as the world seemed to spin around her. The royal knights were looking for her? What had she done wrong?

"As soon as I heard, I tried to sneak out of the tavern to warn you, but they spotted me." He continued. "They recognized me as the one who was sitting with you that day and tried to question me, but I managed to escape them. I got here as fast as I could, but when your mother told me you were gone I thought that meant they had gotten to you first, but you're still here! I'm so relieved!"

He ran up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug, where he wet her sleeve with his tears.

"It's okay, Arrach," Robin said. "I'm here. I'm safe."

"Yes, of course." He pulled himself away and wiped his running nose with his hand, "I'm sorry, I got a bit carried away there."

"No need to apologize, I understand."

"As cute as this all is," Angela interrupted, hands on her hips as she glared at Robin, "That doesn't answer my question. Robin, what happened at the tavern last week?"

Robin gulped. Her mother was seriously mad about this, so there was no point in trying to keep secrets.

"Well," Robin explained sheepishly, "I bought myself a mead and sat down with Arrach here. He accidentally let out a huge belch, and those knights were making him feel bad about it, so I..."

"You what, Robin?"

Robin sighed, "I outbelched him."

"You what?"

Arrach immediately placed himself between the two women, "Ma'am, this is entirely my fault! I was the one that coerced her into-"

"Oh, no, you don't," Angela said, "You don't get to take the blame for this one, Arrach. Robin should know better, especially after all my warnings after all these years!"

Robin nodded. She was right. Angela had always told her to be careful, for they never knew who could be watching. Now it seemed that her warnings truly did have merit, though she realized she was learning that lesson the hard way.

"I'm sorry," She said. "It was just that... it felt so freeing to be able to belch like that with someone, and without having them judge me for it, and to actually encourage it! I let myself get carried away."

Angela shook her head, "I understand, but you don't seem to realize how much trouble you're in now. I-" Before she could finish, there was a racket outside, and the three of them looked out the window to see five knights riding up to the cottage on horseback.

"Oh, no, they've found us." Angela said before turning to the other two. "Hide! Hide somewhere!"

Robin panicked. "Should I try to run to-"

"No, it's too far away!" Angela panicked. "Go fine somewhere to hide! Now!"

Robin looked around, trying to find a quick spot to duck for cover. That's when her eyes landed on the pantry in the kitchen. It looked big enough to fit two. She grabbed Arrach's hand and dragged him into the pantry alongside her, closing the door behind them.

As soon as the door shut, there was a knock on the front door. Angela gave it a moment before opening it.

"Oh, hello, gentlemen!" She said, feigning surprise. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

"We're looking for this woman," Robin wished she could see what they were showing her, but she couldn't risk taking a peek. "Dead or alive."

Robin gasped, but not loud enough for anyone to hear. Dead or alive?

Her mother hid her surprise a lot better than Robin ever could, "I'm afraid I haven't seen this woman before."

"Are you sure?" The man said. "We have orders from the king to have her found by week's end."

"Week's end?" Angela sounded surprised before seeming to shake it off. "I'm sorry, but I have not seen her. If I do happen to spot her, I will be sure to inform you."

"Thank you, and have a good rest of your day."

"You as well."

Robin heard the door close, but she still waited another five minutes or so before there was a knock on the pantry door, signaling the coast was clear.

Robin poked her head out of the pantry, and with a stiff nod from Angela, she allowed herself to step out, Arrach following closely behind.

"Dead or alive?" Arrach said, shaking where he stood. "Robin, does that mean-"

"You're in danger, Robin." Angela interrupted. "Those knights aren't going to just let this go. They will keep searching for you until they find you."

"But why?" Robin said, really starting to feel the panic set in. "I haven't done anything wrong! Is it because I talked back to those knights? Is that reasonable cause for death nowadays?"

Angela seemed to be lost in thought, tapping a finger to her chin as she mumbled to herself. "By week's end. Why by week's end?"

"Is your mother okay?" Arrach asked quietly.

Before Robin could answer that question, Angela gasped, clutching Robin's shoulders and staring at her as if she were a ghost. "The week's end!"

Robin placed her hands on top of her mother's and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Yes?"

"Robin, that's your twenty-first birthday."

Oh, yes, she had forgotten that her birthday was coming up. And, after today's events, that seemed to be of little importance to her now.

"That's the day you'll be of age."

"Of age?" Arrach asked. "Of age for what?"

Angela dropped her hands, and looked her daughter right in the eye, tears already beginning to form, "Of age to inherit the throne."

Chapter 5

Summary:

A continuation of the conversation from chapter four

Chapter Text

"What do you mean 'inherit the throne?'" Robin asked. "Mother, eighteen or not, I have no claim to the throne! I do not come from royal blood nor from royal lineage!"

Angela's hands were shaking, and tears were silently starting to fall down her cheeks. "Can we sit down? I don't think I can explain it all while standing like this."

"Here, let me help you over to the couch." Arrach said, and before Angela could protest, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and began to slowly make his way to the couch.

Robin was confused at first, but it seemed like Angela needed assistance more than she let on, because she immediately leaned all of her weight against him, her breaths becoming more sharp and shallow the more they walked. As soon as she was seated upon the couch, she threw herself onto Arrach, clutching his shirt as she sobbing on his shoulder. Robin was ready to pull her mother off of him and apologize, but before she could even take a step, Arrach wrapped his arms around her and pulled her impossibly closer. He rubbed soothing circles in her back as he whispered in her ear, "It's alright, ma'am, you're okay. Just let it all out. It'll be okay."

Robin just watched, transfixed, as her mother continued to cry, though with less intensity with every passing minute. Not once did Arrach complain about Angela's behavior, instead just continued to soothe and reassure her that she was okay. Robin had never seen anything like it before. She was fairly good at comforting people, her interaction with Arrach last week was proof enough of that, but could she comfort someone like this, the way Arrach was doing it, if she needed to? She wasn't sure.

After a few more minutes, Angela finally pulled away from him, pulling a handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress, where she promptly blew her nose into it, "Please forgive me, Arrach. I was in a panic and didn't mean to-"

"Please don't apologize," Arrach said with a genuine smile, "You did nothing wrong. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, I suppose I am, thank you." She wiped at her eyes one last time before looking back at Robin, "Robin, please, come have a seat."

Robin did as she was told, placing herself across from her mother.

"Well, Robin, I'm afraid-" Angela's voice cracked again, but before she could start crying again, she forced herself to continue, "I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you all these years."

Robin blinked. What did she mean?

"While it is true that you've never met your father, it is not because he's dead."

Robin was taken aback. "What? So then why did you tell me that he was dead all these years?"

Angela swallowed back another sob, but after an encouraging smile from Arrach, she said, "Because your father is the king."

"What?" Robin stood from her spot, shaking from head to toe.

"I can explain!" Angela said, tears spilling from her eyes once again, "Please, let me explain!"

Robin wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream at her mother, demand to know why she was never told this. But, as she looked at the way she cried, desperate to explain herself, she realized that this was probably hurting her just as much as it was hurting Robin. So, she sat back down and raised an eyebrow at her mother, "Okay, then. Explain."

Angela wiped the tears from her eyed frantically, "Yes, well, it happened about eighteen years ago now, I suppose. The queen was visiting a neighboring kingdom for a while, so that left the king all alone. He was walking through one of the smaller villages when he spotted me gathering some thread to spin. He must have found me attractive, because he slept with me that very night.

"It all happened so fast. One moment he was offering me a drink at the tavern, the next we were in bed together. I thought that we were going to make things official the morning after, but the second he woke up, he fled, saying that the whole affair was a mistake. It hurt at first, but I quickly forgot about the whole thing... that is, until I realized I was pregnant with you."

Arrach gasped, but quickly covered his mouth and apologized when two sets of eyes turned to him.

"The moment I found out I was pregnant, I made my way to the palace and demanded an audience with the king." She continued. "He refused to see me at first, but once the guards told him that I was pregnant, he let me in. We sat down and talked about it, and he told me that his wife could never find out what happened.

"Apparently, that only meant one thing in his mind, for after I was dismissed, I found out that he had plans to send someone after me to do his dirty work for him. So, I fled. I ran as far as I could until I was safe from him, and that's where I gave birth to you and raised you."

Robin looked around her old, finicky cottage. Here. This was the place she was talking about. The place she turned into a home just to raise her in a safe environment.

"I thought we would be safe out here, but once I realized just how permanent your condition was, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before you were found." Angela started to tear up once again, "And now it seems that dreaded time is upon us."

Robin couldn't believe it. All the times she couldn't go out into the town, couldn't play with the other kids her age, couldn't belch freely unless in the grove of trees, it was all to protect her. She knew that was always the case, her mother had told her as much since the day she was born, but she hadn't realized just how serious that warning was until just then.

"I'm so sorry, mother," Robin said, "I ignored your one warning, and now we're all in danger."

Angela shook her head, "No, as I said, it was only a matter of time before they found you. But, Robin," She looked at her with stern yet bloodshot eyes, "Now that the guards know about you, they will not stop until you are found. And that means you only have one option."

"What is it?"

"You must confront the king."

"The king?" Robin shrieked, "Doesn't he want me dead?"

"For now, yes," Angela explained, "But if you can convince him that you mean no harm to the kingdom, maybe he will spare you."

Robin thought about it. Confronting the king sounded dangerous, especially since he seemed to already have a deep hateed for her, but if it really was her only choice, then so be it. There was only one problem.

"What about you?" Robin asked, "Will you come with me?"

Angela shook her head, "I will only slow you down. My place is here."

Robin felt her chest tighten as she began to panic once again, "But I can't do this by myself!"

"I will come with you!" Arrach stood from his seat and smiled at Robin.

Robin shook her head, "No. I've already accidentally made you a person of interest in this whole mess. I can't risk putting you in even more danger."

Arrach just shook his head, "Like you said, you can't do this alone. It doesn't matter if I'm a person of interest or not, I want to help."

Robin turned to Angela, who only shrugged. If it was alright with her, then it was alright with Robin, too.

And so, with squared shoulders and a set jaw, she looked at the two people in front of her and nodded, "Alright, then. Let's go confront my father."

Chapter 6

Summary:

The adventure begins.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Kon splashed his face with water from the stream just outside of the pub as his hands shook. The words of the king still rang in his head.

"There is no argument here. You WILL kill the girl."

Kon couldn't understand it. Surely, the lady had done nothing to warrant her execution. While her crass display the week before was something most would find inappropriate, including himself, it was still no crime.

Kon had watched as King Medius had banished all kinds of creatures from the kingdom. Gnomes, changelings, giants, trolls.

Demons.

It was hard for him to accept it back then, but he found himself trusting the king, believing that his judgments were sound and his heart was in the right place.

But now? He wasn't so sure.

He looked down at his reflection as he drank the bitter medicine from the flask in his hand. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Perfect eyes.

Perfect.

He ran a hand along his pointed elf ears, inherited from his father. Despite appearances, and the medicine he took daily to keep up those appearances, he wasn't perfect. Far from it.

He supposed he was starting to realize that King Medius wasn't as perfect as he originally thought, as well.

Before he could dwell too much on that thought (where he stood: with the king he had been serving all his life, or the shameless woman he saw for the first time last week), there was a voice behind him, "We checked every cottage in the village, Sir Kon. There was no sign of the woman."

Kon sighed as he stood from his place kneeling in front of the river and shoved the flask back into its compartment, "You're sure?"

His fellow knights, all four of them, nodded.

Well, as relieved as he wanted to be that the woman was safe, he knew King Medius wouldn't rest until she was found. So, he had no choice.

"We will check the forests, then. If she's left, she can't have gone far."


"Be safe, Robin." Angela cried into her hair as they embraced. "I won't be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to you."

Robin was crying as well, she could feel the tears running down her cheeks and the way her breath hitched, but still she smiled. "I will, mother. Once this is all over, I will come back for you."

"Good," Angela finally pulled herself away from her daughter and looked at Arrach. She extended a hand to shake. "Please keep my daughter safe."

Arrach took the hand, and while this was only their second time seeing each other, Robin could still see the tears in his eyes, "I will."

"Thank you," She wiped a hand over her face as she shooed them out the door, "Now go! While I still have the strength to say goodbye!"

Robin and Arrach waved goodbye, Robin's heart breaking inside her chest, until her mother was out of sight. Then, she turned to Arrach.

"I have a very big favor to ask of you."

Arrach nodded, "Anything."

"Well," Robin said. She wasn't quite sure how to put her request into words, "As you know, the knights know who it is they're looking for, and what exactly it is she can do. And, if we don't want to get caught, we can't give them any indication of any kind that I am who they're looking for."

Arrach's eyebrows furrowed. Clearly he wasn't understanding.

Robin sighed. She just had to be blunt about it, then.

"Which means that, no matter how much it hurts, I can't... we can't... burp. At least not loud enough for anyone to hear."

She waited for the reaction. She excepted him to be angry and appalled that she would ask such a thing of him, but instead, he shrugged. "Okay."

Robin blinked, "That's it? You're not going to ask why?"

"No, I understand why," He said. "But, is there any way we can get rid of it all before we head out?"

Robin was relieved, not only by Arrach's immediate acceptance of her request, but also by his suggestion, and what it meant.

"Great idea!" Robin smiled. "I know just the place!"


"Wow, this place is beautiful!" Arrach said as he looked around at the tall clusters of trees.

"Yes, it really is." Robin said. "And the best part is that the trees block out any sound we make, so-"

To illustrate her point, Robin opened her mouth and released a raging belch.

BWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP

It was so forceful that the ground shook, and Arrach had to grab onto Robin's arm in order to keep both feet on the ground. Animals once again scurried away as fast as they could from the sound. The racket didn't stop until a full 25 seconds had passed, and once it was over, Robin sighed in relief.

"No one could hear that."

Arrach just stared at her, awe filling his entite expression, "Wow, I was wondering when I would get to hear one of those beasts again!"

"Well, soon enough you won't be hearing it for a long while!" She slapped his back playfully. "Go on, then. I'm sure you have some built up pressure you need to let go of."

Arrach patted his stomach, "I'm afraid so."

He cleared his throat and sheepishly opened his mouth.

brrrraaaaAAAAAAUP

It was decent, but most certainly the weakest burp she had ever heard him release. His green cheeks became spotted with red as he flushed with embarrassment.

"Excuse me." He said quietly.

Robin frowned. Why was Arrach always so shy around her, even after she's proven time and time again that he needn't be? What could she do to help?

An idea came to her, one that would hopefully help Arrach be less shameful. She had noticed that, no matter how much he tried to hide it, he did have a bit of a playful side. She just had to bring it out of him.

"I'd give that one a solid two." She shook her head. "By far the weakest I've heard from you."

Arrach sputtered, "What?"

"I think my own mother could do better than that!" Robin laughed.

"Are you mocking me?"

"I'm just saying I think you can do better than that," Robin lifted an eyebrow at him as she smirked, "Can't you?"

Arrach's features finally took on the mischievous glint that Robin had quickly learned to look out for, and he smiled, "Oh, I assure you, I can."


BRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEUP

"Hmm, a five."

BWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRP

"A 6.6!"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP

"Ooh, a 6.7!"

Arrach pounded a fist to his chest and opened his mouth wide.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRP

Robin nodded thoughtfully, "I'll give that one an eight."

Arrach nodded, but he clutched his stomach as it whined loudly, "I think I have one more left in me."

Robin elbowed him, "Go ahead, then. Make me proud."

With that, Arrach cleared his throat, and-

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPP

-Released his biggest belch yet. This time, Robin actually felt the ground beneath her quake just the tiniest bit, and she even found insects that insects were crawling out of the ground just to get away from all the noise. When it was over, he gasped for air. Clearly, that one knocked the wind right out of him.

Robin applauded. How else was she supposed to respond to a belch like that?

Arrach smiled sheepishly, but otherwise bowed his head, "Um, thank you."

"How are you feeling?" Robin asked.

He took a minute to contemplate before nodding, "I'm ready to go."

Robin's heart was pounding in her chest. She had no idea what laid ahead for her and Arrach, but no matter what, she would face it head on. For Arrach. For her mother.

For herself.

"Alright, then." She said. "Let's be off."

Notes:

ik robin says that you won't be hearing any belches from her for a long while, but i can assure you that that is not the case...

Chapter 7

Summary:

Robin and Arrach start their journey.

Chapter Text

As Robin and Arrach made their way through the empty forest, Robin's stomach began to growl. Sure, her breakfast that morning was a big one, but after all this walking, she seemed to be getting hungry once again. And it certainly didn't help that she had always been a... big eater. One of the many side affects of her condition, she supposed.

Either way, she knew she couldn't eat for a while, so she tried her best to keep her hunger at bay. The problem was, Robin wasn't the only one that was starting to get hungry.

Arrach patted his stomach as it whined, "I think I need to get some food in me, Robin. How about you?"

Robin's stomach roared again, but she hoped Arrach couldn't hear it. "No, I'm fine. But feel free to find something for yourself."

Arrach glanced at her, eyebrow raised. "Are you sure? I can find something for-"

"I'm sure." She said loudly, trying to cover up her stomach gurgles. "Now hurry and find something!"

With a nod, Arrach ran off to go hunt for something to eat. Once he was out of sight, Robin plopped down on the ground and clutched her aching stomach. She was so hungry, all she wanted to do was sit down and eat something, anything. But she couldn't afford to do such a thing.

And so she laid down and looked up at the sky. It was a clear, sunny day. The clouds were white and fluffy rather than dark and menacing, and she could feel the warmth of the sun hitting her face. It was nice.

Before she knew it, she found it harder to keep her eyelids open. She blinked and didn't even try to open her eyes afterwards.

Her dreams were strange. A man with a face like hers, except icy blue eyes rather than her dark brown. Another man with a long, silver beard and a disgusted snarl. A beautiful woman with blond hair and emerald green eyes.

These random people didn't make any sense to her, but it was almost as if her dream was trying to tell her something. The more she focused on their faces, the more she tried to make some sort of connection, but nothing seemed to spark in her head.

"Robin?"

But still, it was strange that the first man looked so much like her.

"Robin?"

And... was that a crown atop his head?

"Robin!"

Upon Arrach's exclamation, Robin was startled out of her sleep, and she jumped back onto her feet and looked around.

"Arrach!" She said frantically. "What's wrong?"

Arrach immediately waved his hands in the air in order to grab Robin's attention. "Sorry, Robin, nothing's wrong! I didn't mean to frighten you!"

Robin looked around one last time, for good measure, but luckily they didn't seem to be in any danger. As far as she could tell, they were the only ones in this forest.

"Oh, okay." Robin gave Arrach a confused look. "Then, why'd you wake me up?"

Arrach shook his head sheepishly, "I just figured you wouldn't want to stay in one place until it was dark out, but maybe I was wrong. You can go ahead and rest again if you'd like. I can keep watch."

"No, you're right. It's about time we get moving." Robin brushed the grass off of her dress, and together, the two of them made their way through the forest once again.

"Oh, by the way, I found these!" Arrach held out his hand, where an assortment of fresh berries laid in his palm. "They're not poisonous, so you don't need to worry about that."

Robin's mouth watered. Her stomach growled. her eyes stared at the food in front of her.

Nevertheless, she shook her head. "No thank you."

Arrach gave her a look. "Are you sure?"

Robin nodded. "Yes, I'm not hungry. You go ahead and enjoy them."

After giving it one more second, Arrach shrugged his shoulders and popped the berries in his mouth, chewing them slowly before swallowing them all in one go.

He smacked his lips, "My, that was delic-"

His eyes widened as a pocket of gas caught him by surprise, and he swiftly brought a fist to his mouth right as a thick, closed mouth burp rushed out of him, making his cheeks puff out from the strain of keeping it all in. When it was over, he subtly blew the air out of the side of his mouth and blushed.

"Excuse me," He said quietly. "I wasn't expecting that." He looked around with wide eyes. "You don't think anyone heard that, did you?"

Robin laughed as she looked around, and sure enough, there was not a single ear in sight.

"I think you're in the clear."

Chapter 8

Summary:

Robin explains her condition.

Notes:

i added a few tags, including new character tags and more importantly, a new fetish tag that i will be implementing in the next chapters. pls check and if this fetish isn't something you're interested in, you might not like one of the characters coming up.

Chapter Text

"Ahh, there we are," Arrach said as he sat down next to the campfire he just created. "This'll keep us nice and warm.

Robin got as close to the fire as her delicate skin would allow, the heat baking her skin in the most pleasant way possible.

It was nice, except for the growling in her stomach. To put it simply, Robin was hungry. She hadn't eaten all day, and it was all finally coming back to get her.

She was stuck sitting in that spot; if she tried to stand up, she would surely faint. But that was okay. She had endured worse.

"Hey, Robin, good news!" Arrach said, standing up. "Earlier today, I managed to catch a couple of these critters!"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out two dead squirrels. Robin's eyes widened in both shock and realization of what was to come.

Arrach smiled, "I can cook 'em up, and we can have ourselves a nice dinner!"

Robin clutched at her whining stomach, hoping Arrach couldn't hear it. Just the word food was making her hungry all over again!

"Ah, thank you, Arrach," Robin said carefully, "but I'll be fine."

Arrach frowned. His eyebrows furrowed together. He took a step closer.

"But, Robin, you haven't eaten all day."

Robin nodded, "Yes, I just had a big breakfast this morning, and it's really filled me up, so I think I can wait until... later."

"Robin, you're worrying me," He said. "Why do you refuse to eat?"

Robin sighed. She could trust Arrach, couldn't she? He had come all this way with her so far, no questions asked, and if that wasn't proof enough of his kindnesses and understanding, she didn't know what was.

Robin needed to tell Arrach the truth.

"I suppose I haven't been completely honest about my condition," She sighed as she patted the spot next to her. "Come. Sit. I'll explain."

Arrach quickly obeyed and sat down next to Robin, looking up at her expectantly.

"You see," She said, "My condition isn't just being able to belch on command. My condition makes me endlessly gassy. There's always bottled up gas inside me, it's just that most of the time I'm able to control it.

"But there are times where I lose that control. Specifically, anytime I eat or drink something that isn't water, I only have twenty minutes at most until I have to burp the gas out. It's inevitable."

"I see," Arrach nodded, "that does complicate things. But, couldn't you keep your mouth closed like I do whenever you need to belch?"

Robin stooped her head as she shook it, "That's the other part of my condition. My belches are too powerful. It's impossible for me to keep my mouth closed whenever they come up."

Arrach just stared at her, eyes full of wonder. How could such a feat be possible?

"Normally, I believe this to be a good thing," Robin continued. "After all, I actually quite enjoy belching. I find it to be quite fun," She frowned. "But now, with so much at stake, I cannot afford any slip ups. Which means I cannot allow myself to eat."

Arrach couldn't believe it. Robin had to starve herself in order to keep them hidden. He couldn't even imagine being strong enough to do something like that.

He couldn't have been more impressed with Robin than he was in that moment.

Chapter 9

Summary:

A continuation from chapter 8

Chapter Text

"So," Arrach said, roasting his skinned squirrel in the fire, "you really don't know where your... condition came from?"

The smell of cooking meat filled her nose, and her stomach growled uncontrollably. Now that Arrach knew why she wasn't eating, she no longer saw the point in trying to hide those noises, though she did notice how Arrach winced in sympathy at the noise.

Still, she tried her best to ignore it, "No. My mom says it must just be some kind of birth defect. I think that there must some kind on non-human blood on my dad's small, though very faint. Whatever the case, neither I nor my mother can explain it."

Arrach's squirrel finally seemed to be cooked, because he took it away from the flames, and after blowing on it once or twice, took a big bite into it. Savory juices spouted out of it and dripped down his chin, and Arrach hummed with pleasure as he chewed. Robin just watched, mouth watering as he ate, but she didn't say a word.

He swallowed before turning back to Robin, "I see. Well, either way, I think it's neat."

Robin teasingly raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Arrach nodded as he took another bite and swallowed much faster than last time, "Of course! I mean, it's just something that makes you special."

"Thank you," Robin said, and she meant it.

"Don't mention it! It's only the-"

Arrach was interrupted when he held a fist up to his mouth, and a thick closed mouth belch roared out of him, making his cheeks puff. When it was over, his skin turned pinkish once again.

"Excuse me," He said timidly.

Robin shook her head. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Can I ask you something?"

Arrach looked up from where he was in the middle of biting into his squirrel, "Hmm?"

"Why do you get so embarrassed every time you burp?"

Arrach paused, his face growing redder than ever before. He set his squirrel down and started nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

"I mean, not only have I told you on many occasions that you need not be embarrassed, but I have belched around you many times, as well. Is there a reason you still don't feel comfortable around me?"

"It's not that I don't feel uncomfortable around you," Arrach said, refusing to make eye contact. "It's just that... I'm a troll."

Robin's eyebrows furrowed, "So?"

"I'm sure you're aware, but trolls have a certain reputation. Gross, shameless slobs. People tend to plug their noses every time they walk past me."

"I'm still not seeing the problem."

Arrach sighed, "I don't want to play into that stereotype, Robin. I want people to take me seriously whenever they see me and talk to me. But, with my three stomachs, it hard for me to keep everything at bay all the time."

As if to prove his point, there was a growl as gas traveled up his throat, and he brought a fist to his mouth once again as another deep, gutteral belch rolled inside his mouth. He blew the air out as subtly as he could once it was over.

"But, Arrach, who cared about what other people think?"

"You don't understand, Robin," He said, shaking his head. "Do you remember how those guards talked to me after I had accidentally let one go?"

Robin nodded, anger rising in her chest once again at the very thought of it.

"Well, that was tame in comparison to the things people would say and do to me on a daily basis. People used to beat me simply because I'm a troll. They would throw rocks at me or dump water on me if I accidentally relieved myself of any gases in front of anyone," He tried blinking away the tears that were forming in his eyes, but one fell down his cheek anyway. "They treated me like a freak of nature simply for existing."

As Robin looked at his friend and the way his shoulders shook from his tears, her heart broke. The world had beaten down on him simply because of the way he was born. It wasn't fair, and Robin wished there was something he could do to make it all better.

Well, there was nothing she could do to make it completely better, there was something she could do to make things better now.

Trying her hardest to remember what Arrach had done for her mother, he gently wrapped her hands around her friend and pulled him close. It was then that he started to cry uncontrollably, but it didn't bother Robin one bit, even though she thought it would. Instead, she buried her nose in what was left of his hair and scratched his back comfortingly.

"It's okay, I'm here now. I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again."

Arrach's voice was quaking from his emotions. "You mean it?"

"Yes," Robin said, and she meant it with every fiber of her being.

They stayed like that for a while, with Arrach cying on Robin shoulder while she just continued to reassure him. Then, Arrach slowly pulled away, face wet with tears.

"Thank you, Robin. For everything."

Robin wanted to say that there was no need to thank her, and that she was just doing what any decent human would do. But, somehow, she knew what he wanted to hear, so instead, she just smiled.

"You're welcome."

Chapter 10

Summary:

A continuation from chapter 9

Notes:

again, read the tags, because this is where our new character is being introduced. i think of an ao3 author i really admire whenever i write this new character. i doubt said author would ever read this, and even if they did, i doubt they would like the gassy guy i've created, but i still dedicate this character to them.

Chapter Text

"Can I ask you one more question?" Robin said as he set the second one atop the flames to cook. Most likely to prevent it from going bad.

"Sure."

"I know you've given me your reason as to why you get shy," Robin said, "and I completely respect that, but I must admit that I've noticed some moments where you seem to be rather excited to hear me belch or even belch yourself. Is there a reason why?"

This time, Arrach actually chuckled just a little, "Well, I'm still a troll at heart. It's hard to completely forget your nature," He smiled. "Back when I was younger, my siblings and I used to get into burping contests all the time. I would usually win, but my siblings were pretty good, too. Especially my sister.

"But, the more I grew up, and the more I noticed how people treated trolls, the more I tried to distance myself from that lifestyle, but sometimes those habits creep up on me.

My siblings are getting to be close to my age, and yet they all still participate in those contests. I can't say I blame them. It's much easier to be shameless and be yourself in that way. It's hard even for me. I try to push away my past, but sometimes I can't control myself."

Robin nodded. She supposed she could relate to living in caution. In fact, the only reason she was even out here was because of the one and only time she made a mistake.

"Thank you for telling me," Robin said. "And I hope that one day, you'll find yourself able to trust me enough to be your true, unapologetic self around me."

Arrach smiled so wide that it created new wrinkles on his face, "I'm sure that won't be too far from now."

"Me, too!"

Robin and Arrach both gasped. Who was that?

Robin turned toward the fire, where he was met with a short gnome. He smiled up at them, his long, white hair covering his eyes.

Robin practically jumped out of her skin at the sight of him. She was so invested in her conversation with Arrach that she hadn't even seen this gnome approach.

It was Arrach who seemed to gain his composure first, because he squinted his eyes at him, "Who are you?"

"Ah, how rude of me!" The gnome smiled, revealing crooked yellow teeth, "My name is Runt! And you are?"

Runt seemed nice enough. For now. She decided to trust him.

"I'm Robin, and this," she pointed, "is Arrach."

"Nice to meet you both!" Runt said. "Now, I came over here because I smelled-" He stopped and sniffed the air before whipping around toward the fire. "Aha!"

With small, pudgy hands, not even worried about the head, he grabbed the squirrel from the fire and sat on a log diagonal to Arrach and Robin, where he promptly began to eat his meal.

Arrach's eyes flashed with anger as he turned to the gnome, "Hey, I was gonna eat that!"

"Too bad!" Runt said around a mouthful of meat. "You snooze, you lose!"

"How could I have been snoozing? I was the one that caught that squirrel!"

Only a few seconds had passed, but Runt had already stripped the bones of evey piece of meat. He threw the scraps on the ground and wiped his greasy hands on both his clothes and his long, white beard.

"Well," He said, using his pinky finger to pick at his teeth, "someone must've been snoozing, then, and it certainly wasn't me."

"What are you talking-"

"Boys!" Robin held up her hands to silence them. "Can we calm down for a minute? I want to know what's going on here."

The two of them nodded, though Arrach seemed to be a lot less happy about it.

"Good, thank you. Now," Robin turned to Runt, "mind explaining to us who you are?"

"I already told you, I'm Runt."

Robin rolled her eyes, "Yes, but what I meant was, what are you doing here?"

"Well, my village isn't too far from here, but I was cast out for... reasons. I've kinda been wandering aimlessly for a while, looking for food. So, once I smelled that delicious squirrel meat, I just couldn't resist!"

"Great, you've had your squirrel meat," Arrach said. "Now, run along?"

Runt's expression finally changed from playfulness to anxiety, "What? No! I can't leave! How else will I be able to feed myself?"

"You're a forest gnome," Arrach shrugged. "I'm sure you can figure something out."

"No!" Runt shot up and ran up to Robin and Arrach. "I promise you I can't make it out here by myself! Please let me come with you! I'll help you with whatever you need and make sure I carry my weight, but please, don't leave me out here to die!"

As Robin looked on at Runt, at the desperation in his eyes, she knew she couldn't just leave him like this. She turned to Arrach with a soft look.

"I'm sure there's room for one more on our journey, right?"

Arrach didn't look happy about it, not one bit, but even still, he crossed his arms. "Fine."

"Ah, thank you!" He said, jumping and kissing both of their hands. "I promise you you won't regret it!"

Arrach shot Robin an irritated look, but Robin just smiled. It felt good to help people.

Runt sat back down in his original spot and started sucking the grease off his fingers. "So, where are we headed?"

"The kingdom," Robin said casually. "I need to talk with the king."

Runt winked, "Bold! I like it! But do you think we'll run into any more delicious squirrels along the way?"

"I'm sure we could-"

Before Robin could finish her statement, Runt lifted a stubby leg and completely drowned her out.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRT

Runt's southward expulsion was so loud and raucous that it created a harsh breeze, making tree branches sway and causing the fire to roar to enormous heights, almost starting a forest fire. But it died out after about seven seconds, where the fire went back to normal.

"Ahhhh," Runt sighed as he placed his leg back down and patted his stomach. "Much better."

"Are you-" Arrach tried to reprimand the gnome, but that was when the stink hit them.

And damn, did it stink.

Robin's eyes immediately began to water, and she began to cough as the tainted air traveled down her throat. Next to her, Arrach was pounding a fist to his chest, trying to get some air into him. Runt just laughed.

"Whoa, already?" He snorted. "There's plenty more where that came from!"

"Don't!" Arrach shouted. "We can't bring any attention to ourselves!"

Runt dropped the leg he had lifted once again in preparation for the next blast. "What do you mean?"

Both eyes turned to Robin, and she explained the situation as best she could while trying not to breathe too much of the stink in.

"Oh, shit, I had no idea!" Runt said. "Sorry about that, I'll keep it to SBDs from now on."

Arrach breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, that means... wait. Wait, what, don't-"

But it was too late. Much too late.

"Ugh, Runt!"

He just laughed.


Kon immediately sat up from his sleeping position when he heard the sound like thunder rumble throughout the forest.

But he knew that was no thunder.

"River!" He snapped, and the knight that was assigned to keep watch for the time being turned to him.

"Where did that sound come from?"

"From the west, I believe."

Kon's heart weighed heavily in his chest, but he knew he had no choice. If King Medius thought it was best, then he just had to trust him.

"Wake everyone up, River." He said, "I think we've found her."

Chapter 11

Summary:

Robin has more dreams

Chapter Text

Robin would be lying if she said sleep came easy to her that night.

Instead, she tossed and turned all night, hoping that her growling stomach wasn't keeping everyone else awake, too.

All she wanted to do was eat. She hoped the kingdom was close, because she wasn't sure she could keep going without fueling her tank just a little bit. She could feel the fatigue getting to her, but she knew the consequences if she let her presence be known.

But it wasn't just her hunger that was keeping her up. It was also the fact that the weird dreams were starting up again.

"I can't kill her," the man with the long, silver beard said in her dream. "My magic does not work that way."

The younger man with a face like hers snarled. "Well, then, what good are you to me?"

The old man bent low into a bow. "Sire, I can assure you that although I cannot kill her directly, I can give you all the tools you need to find her and kill her yourself."

"Good, what do you need?"

The scene changed, and she was now looking at her old cottage. Inside the kitchen, her mother, Angela, was sweeping, and her belly seemed to be bulging under the dress she wore.

She also looked much younger than she did now, which meant that Robin must've been seeing her mother when she was pregnant with her.

Angela set down the broom and wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, waddling to the the dining table, where a cup of water was waiting for her.

She didn't realize it, but Robin watched as a shimmering speck of gold, or light, or something blew in through the window, floating around the room aimlessly before finding its way to Angela's cup, and it landed in the liquid right as the cup met her lips.

Angela gulped down the drink without looking, and the speck went down her throat completely unnoticed. When the cup was empty, she set it down and wiped her mouth with a satisfied sigh.

As she was sitting down, before she could stop it-

EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEUUUUP

-an enormous belch rushed out of her, short but powerful. When it was over, she clamped a hand over her mouth as her tan skin became red.

"Excuse me," she muttered behind her hand.

Even though it was just a dream, Robin was shocked. She had never once heard her mother belch before. She was understanding of Robin's condition, but she was never a fan of such crass behavior, so she never participated in it herself. So to see her not only belch, but to belch almost as loud as Robin could, was absolutely shocking. Had she always been able to do that?

After getting over her embarrassment, even though she was completely by herself, the dream version of Angela went back to cleaning, and Robin woke up once again, except this time the sun was up and Arrach was gathering supplies beside her.

He smiled once he realized she was awake. "Ah, hello, Robin! Sleep well?"

Just then, Robin's stomach gave a loud gurgle, one that she couldn't disguise even if she tried.

Instead, she just sighed. "That answer your question?"

"I suppose so," Arrach said with a frown. "Don't worry, we'll get you to the palace as soon as possible so you can finally get something in your stomach."

Robin's stomach growled again at the thought, so intensely that she grabbed at it with a wince. That sounded amazing.

Robin stood up and dusted herself off as she looked around. Arrach had already taken care of most things, making it seem like they had never been there. But one thing was missing.

Robin turned to Arrach. "Where's Runt?"

Arrach rolled his eyes. "Had to relieve himself of last night's dinner. He said he'll be back shortly, and then we'll be ready to go."

Robin smiled, but before she could say another word, something sharp poked her back. She winced, but she didn't get a chance to turn around, because just then men in silver armor appeared from all corners of the woods, swords drawn and with the crest of the kingdom on their chests.

One of the guards, the one facing Robin as he shoved his sword into Arrach's back, tilted his head, his face completely covered by his helmet. "You're not going anywhere."

Chapter 12

Summary:

A continuation from chapter 11

Chapter Text

River dug their blade a little harder into the girl's back, making her flinch.

"Leave her alone!" the troll snapped. He tried to take a step forward, but another guard grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Don't try anything stupid." The guard said, squeezing the troll's arm tight enough to make him squirm.

"What do you want?" The girl said, voice quiet and calm.

River just sneered at the back of the girl's head. They couldn't wait to get this over with.

It was an honor to be chosen by both Kon and his majesty to go on this assignment. After all, considering their complicated past, they were lucky to even have a place among the king's knights at all.

It took the king a while to trust them, but once he did, they had never lost the king's favor. And this would certainly be no exception. If the king wanted this girl dead, then they would make sure she died. It was their only way to make up for the sins of their father.

River looked up at the last two available guards. "The troll said there was one more. Go find them."

With a nod, the pair walked off into the woods, searching for the last member of their clan.

"Now-"

"You didn't answer my question," the troll said. "What do you want?"

River rolled their eyes. It looked like the troll wouldn't shut up unless they answered his questions.

"This woman is a threat to the kingdom," they said, poking the girl with their blade once again.

"How?" She said. "I've lived a secluded life with my mother all these years. I have never done anything to harm the king or his kingdom."

River paused. If they were being honest, they weren't really sure why the king wanted this woman dead so badly. Kon didn't seem to know either, and River was not one to ask his king questions. Whatever he wanted, that's what he would get. That was all there was to it.

That being said, they'd be lying if they said they weren't curious. After all, if he really needed her dead by the week's end, why did he wait so long to tell them?

"It doesn't matter," River said. "I have orders from the king."

"Orders to do what?" The troll asked.

"Find the belching woman and her accomplices."

"And then what?"

"Take the accomplices to the king so that he can pass judgment."

"And what about me?" The woman said, still as quiet as before.

River just shrugged. "The king wants you dead."

With those words, the troll began to writhe under the knight's grip. "No! I won't let you!"

River rolled their eyes, "Shut him up, will you, Sir Kanath?"

With that, their fellow knight lifted his sword and slammed the end of it into the troll's skull. Immediately, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell limp to the floor.

"Arrach!" The woman cried, but when she tried to run towards him, River just grabbed her hand.

"Not so fast, young lady, we still have business to take care of."

She struggled, but River was strong, and it only took one hand to keep her restrained.

"Do what you want with me!" She cried. "But just leave my friends alone!"

"Oh, but you should consider yourself lucky." Kanath said. "Now your friend won't have to see you-"

"Found him!"

River looked up to see the two other guards walking up to them, lifting the gnome off the ground with one arm each as he struggled.

"Robin!" The gnome cried. "Robin, what's happening?"

"It's okay, Runt." The woman, Robin, said, her voice shaking. "You might want to turn away for now."

"Why?" Runt said. "What are they doing?"

River placed their hand on Robin's shoulder. "What we came here to do."

With that, they pulled on her shoulder, forcing her to turn around, and held their sword up to her throat. One movement, and it would all be over.

This was their great task. This was what they needed to do in order to fully remove the shame from their family. They just had to do it.

But they looked into her eyes. They looked into her eyes, and all they could find was fear. Fear and innocence and youth. In fact, she couldn't have been that much younger than them.

River didn't know why the king asked them to kill this girl.

"What are you waiting for, Knight River?" Kanath cried. "Finish her!"

Their sword was shaking in their grip, and they could feel their chest tighten and tears prick their eyes.

They thought they were strong enough to do it. But, as they looked into the eyes of this innocent girl, they realized they weren't strong enough.

They dropped their sword.

"River?" One of the other knights said. River couldn't even remember their name.

"No," Kanath said, walking away from Arrach's limp body. "If you're not strong enough to kill her, I will."

"Kill?" The gnome said from his spot lifted in the air. "Not on my watch!" He turned to Robin. "Cover your nose, Robin!"

River squinted at the gnome. "What are you-"

They were interrupted by what sounded like a thousand whips striking at once, and they were blown off their feet by a burst of wind that seemed to come out of nowhere. The sound proceeded to surround them long after they landed, so they covered their ears to try to protect themselves from the onslaught of noise.

River looked up to see the two guards that were originally holding onto the gnome were now scattered like they were, and the gnome was now standing, one leg lifted as his face turned cherry red in concentration.

Wait. Was that gnome...

They didn't have time to think about it, because just then, the noise stopped, and River carefully removed the hands from their ears.

"What was that?" they said to their fellow knights.

None of them had time to answer, though, because just then a smell hit them. And it was unlike anything they had ever smelled before.

River didn't know if they could properly describe it. It was like laying in a pile of manure created by every palace mare and stallion at once during midday, with the sun baking it and raising its stink to the high heavens.

River couldn't take it.

After just one whiff, the world became black around them, and they hit the forest floor, out cold.

Chapter 13

Summary:

Robin eats

Chapter Text

Robin looked around at the carnage around her. All four guards, including the one that once had a sword to her throat, were all on the floor, their chests moving being the only indication that they were alive.

Robin slowly turned back around, where she saw Runt smiling proudly at the sight before him.

"Am I allowed to unplug my nose now?" Robin asked, her voice sounding funny from the way she pinched her nose so tight that it began to throb underneath her fingers.

Runt sniffed the air a couple times before grimacing. "I'd wait just a second longer, las." We waved a hand behind his rear. "I've gotten used to my stink by now, but even my nose hates it."

"What did you do?"

Runt proudly patted his stomach. "Well, these two guards here grabbed before I could get everything out of my system. It's not my fault they had to pay the price for it."

It suddenly clicked in Robin's head. The night before, when Runt had cut that ginormous fart, it smelled so bad that Robin could feel her stomach churning, even though there was nothing for her to throw up. If the last time was that bad, she couldn't imagine what stench these knights were met with.

Robin whistled under her breath. She had to admit she was impressed.

"Have you always been able to produce such a stink?"

Runt shrugged. "It takes a second of brew time on my part, but overall, it wasn't that hard."

"And you did it... to save me?" Robin asked, and she was met with a nod of approval. "Why?"

Runt gave her an incredulous look, as if she had just asked why the sun rises in the morning. "Because you saved my life. It's only right that I save yours in return."

Robin nodded. Even though they had just met, she supposed that made sense.

"Besides," he shrugged. "You don't deserve to die when you have done nothing wrong."

Robin smiled. "Thank you, Runt." She started to walk over to him, perhaps to wrap her arms around him, but her stomach gave one last almighty gurgle, shooting pain throughout her whole body, and with a gasp, she fell to the floor, clutching her stomach.

"Robin!" Runt ran over to her and kneeled beside her. "Robin, what's wrong?"

"I-" She grimaced. "I haven't eaten in days. I don't think I have the energy to keep going."

"Haven't eaten?" Runt sounded panicked. "Why not?"

How was Robin to explain?

"Well, you see-"

"It doesn't matter. Here," With much effort, he helped Robin sit up properly, leaning her against the trunk of a tree. "Wait here. I'll get you something to eat."

Robin was about to stop him. She couldn't eat or her belches would surely expose her location!

But, as she looked around, she realized that now that all the guards that were after her were unconscious, she was finally safe to eat and release without being caught.

So, with a smile, she nodded at Runt. "Thank you, I'd appreciate that."

Runt nodded resolutely before running into the forest.


"Here!" Runt ran back over to her about thirty minutes later, armsfuls of food in hand. He dropped it all right beside her.

"So, first we have these leaves." He pointed at the tall pile of greens. "They don't taste super good, but they're full of nutrients, so they should definitely help you get your energy back up, so I would start with those. For taste, I would pair them with these berries." He pointed to the pile of red and purple berries next to the greens. "And don't worry, they're not poisonous. While you eat those, I'll get working on cooking this for you." He pulled a squirrel from his pocket and started pulling firewood together.

"You're starting a fire?" Robin asked. "But what if the knights wake up?"

"Oh, don't worry about that," He winked. Robin understood immediately. "Now hurry and eat!"

Robin grabbed a handful of greens and shoved them into her mouth. Runt was right, they didn't have much flavor, but since it was the first thing she had eaten in days, she marveled in the blandness. After swallowing, she immediately shoved another handful into her mouth. Luckily, Runt understoood the extent of her hunger, and gathered a pile of leaves that were almost as tall as she was while sitting.

"I'm surprised you're so knowledgeable about the food in the forest." Robin said through a mouthful of greens. Robin had never been much of a stickler for manners, but it seemed that Runt wasn't either, so she wasn't too worried about her rude display.

Runt raised a cocky eyebrow. "I did mention that I'm a forest gnome, right?"

Ah yes, Robin now understood. Forst gnomes were secluded creatures, dedicating their lives to protecting their forests. It was rare to find a forest gnome, for their communities were hidden deep in the forests. It was even rarer to find a lone foret gnome, for they always lived in groups. They were very territorial in that way.

"Wait, so where is the rest of your village?" Robin asked. "It's unusual for a forest gnome to be by themself."

Robin's shoulders slumped, and it was clear that she might've touched on a sore subject.

"I was, uh, kicked out."

Robin gasped. She knew very little about forest gnomes, but if there was one thing she knew, it was that they lived in very tight knit communities. They cared for both the forests and each other, and they lived on the mentality that no one should be left behind.

"Was there a reason why? It wasn't your gassiness, was it?

The fire picked up, and Runt placed the squirrel above it to cook.

"I'll be honest, my village was never entirely fond of my stench, but that wasn't the reason they kicked me out. But, if it's alright with you, I'd rather not talk about it."

Robin just nodded, deciding instead to shove more greens in her mouth. If he wasn't comfortable sharing, then that was alright with her.

It what seemed like five seconds, but was surely closer to five minutes, all the greens were done, leaving only the berries and the still-cooking squirrel. She popped a berry in her mouth, and the sweet juice contrasted beautifully with the bland greens.

"Oh, this is delicious!" She cried as she popped a handful into her mouth and chewed, juice running down her chin and dripping onto her dress.

Runt smiled. "I'm surprised you ate the two separately. Usually I can't eat those leaves without having something to make it taste better."

"I'm too hungry to care." Was all she said before she ate more berries. The rest of thr fruit was gone in an instant, because it was too delicious for Robin to take her time with.

"Perfect timing!" Runt said as he pulled the squirrel out of the fire and handed it to her "Hopefully this should be enough to make up for the meals you've missed."

"Oh, most definitely." Robin said as she patted her stomach. At this point, she was feeling comfortably full, but after this squirrel, she knew she would have enough energy to make it to the palace.

She took a big bite, the juices from the meat mingling with the juices of the berries on her chin, and smiled. This was amazing.

She finished the squirrel in recoed speed, and discarded the bones next to her. Yes, she was definitely feeling a lot better.

She stood, brushed herself off, and smiled at Runt. "Thank you so much for this meal, Runt. I'm feeling so much better." She playfully hit her knee against his shoulder. "I know Arrach still hasn't warmed up to you yet, but I think you're a great addition to our team."

Runt's dark features meant he couldn't really blush visually, but Robin could see from the look on his face that he was flattered. "Thank you, Robin."

"So, are you ready to go?"

"Yes, but one question first." Runt squinted at her. "Why did you go so long without eating?"

Right as he asked that question, something in her stomach shifted, making it gurgle for a completely different reason. Ah yes, she had somehow forgott about this part.

"Well, if I were to eat while making our way to the palace, I would surely give away our location. But since the knights that have been chasing us are no longer an issue, I finally allowed myself to eat."

Runt's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Like usual, Robin didn't answer with words.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWP

Rather, she answered by opening her mouth and letting loose with a catastrophic belch, easily her biggest in a long while. It was so powerful that the ground shook, branches swayed (with some even snapping off the trees), and creatures of all kinds scattered.

Robin shut her eyes in pure ecstasy as the air rushed out of her. She forgot how good this felt!

She pushed the air out a little harder, making everything shake even harder. However, one thing Robin didn't account for was Runt's size, and, before she could stop it, he was sent flying, landing back-first against a tree trunk.

After about half a minute, Robin ended her mighty release and ran over to Runt.

"Oh, Runt, are you okay?" She said, cradling the gnome in her arms. "I'm so sorry!"

Runt, in response, just laughed. He laughed, eyes wide and full of shock, as he stared up at Robin.

"Holy fuck, Robin!" He cheered. "That was incredible! How did you do that?"

Robin couldn't help but smile herself. Although she knew he wouldn't have minded her condition, given her own, she was glad she had found yet another person who enjoyed her talents as much as she did.

"I've always been able to."

"Robin? Was that you?"

Robin turned around to see Arrach pulling himself off the ground, eyes still groggy. With Runt still in her arms, she ran over to him.

"Arrach! I'm so glad you're okay! We were-"

"Huh?"

"What happened?"

"Where's the girl?"

Robin looked around to see the four guards getting up, as well. It seemed Arrach wasn't the only one that was awakened by Robin's powerful belch.

"Uh oh."

Runt hopped out of Robin's arms. "Robin, you and Arrach get out of here. I'll take care of them."

Robin shook her head. "But what about you?"

"Don't worry, I'll find you again."

"But these men are dangerous! What if they-"

"Hey," Runt placed a comforting hand on her knee. "Remember what I said earlier?"

He patted his stomach menacingly, and Robin felt her panic subside. Runt would be okay. He flung Arrach's arms around her shoulders and began to run away, dragging a half conscious Arrach with her.

Runt would be okay. He had to be.


Kon walked through the forest, hoping to run into his fellow knights soon. They couldn't have made it too far.

He had sent them ahead after he received a messenger hawk with a letter attached from the king. He was asking for a progress report, and while he knew he had to respond right away, he didn't want to lose track of the girl. So, he sent River and the others ahead. After all, he knew he could trust River.

Now that he had sent his response, his next responsibility was finding the others and then the girl. But the more he walked the more he realized just how much ground they had traveled without him.

As he walked, he noticed a little tickling in his nose. He sniffed, and a faint scent of something filled his nose. It didn't smell pleasant, which meant that it was most likely the waste of some forest animal. He would have to be careful.

However, the more he walked, the stronger the scent became, to the point where he had to pinch his nose to keep himself from smelling it.

And that's when he found his knights. They were on the floor, arms shaking as they struggled to pull themselves back onto their feet. They must have gotten into some kind of fight before he arrived.

Except, the only other person in view was a small little gnome, with dark, leathery skin and a white beard. He smiled at Kon.

This couldn't have been right. His men were knights of the royal court! It was impossible for them to have lost to a silly gnome!

"Ah, there's another one!" The gnome said, arms crossed around his chest. "I do hope you're the last, because I don't want to repeat this performance again."

Kon glared at the gnome. Performance?

Before he could pull out his sword and question the gnome, a mischievous smirk took over the gnome's face, and he cocked a leg.

What?

"Enjoy the show, my dear knights!"

Suddenly, the earth shook around him as an ear-splitting noise filled the air. Kon immediately placed a knee on the ground in order to maintain his balance, and he stayed in that position until the sound ended, just as loud as it had started, about twenty seconds later.

The gnome placed his leg back on the ground. "Phew! That was quite a tear jerking performance, huh?" He smiled. "Unfortunately, there won't be an encore, because I think it's about time you hit the hay."

Kon wanted to ask what he was talking about, but that was when the smell hit him. He only had a second to realize that this was the stench he had detected earlier before the world went dark around him, and he passed out.

Chapter 14

Summary:

Kon confronts River

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Kon awoke to a pounding in his skull and a horrible stench lingering in his nose. He pulled himself to his feet, blinking heavy eyes and looking around at his surroundings. All around him, all his other knights laid on the ground, knocked out cold.

With a scowl, he stormed over to the nearest knight, Sir Kanath, and kicked his side.

"Get up, all of you!"

Sir Kanath's eyes shot open, and he quickly pulled himself off the floor.

"What? What's happening?"

Kon slapped the back of his head "Keep it down!" Kanath slapped a hand over his mouth, which earned a nod from Kon "Now, hurry up and wake everyone else up."

While Kanath went and woke everyone else up, Kon took a look around. Besides his knights, there was evidence that other people were here as well. Not too far from where they stood, black firewood laid in a pile, and when he pressed his fingers along it, it was still warm to the touch. That meant it had been burning not too long ago.

"Sir Kon?" Kanath asked, and when Kon turned around, he found all his knights on their feet and awaiting orders.

Well, no need to hold back his frustration now.

"Would someone care to explain to me what happened?"

A timid hand was raised, and Kon nodded his head at Lady Fiona as an invitation to speak.

"There was a troll, and it seemed his... well, his flatulence was potent enough to knock us out."

Kon rolled his eyes. He was usually good at keeping his temper at boy, but these knights were really testing him. "I remember that part. I meant for you to explain to me what happened before that."

Lady Ivy, Lady Fiona's twin sister, stepped forward, not bothering to ask for permission to speak. "We followed the path you directed us to, and we found and apprehended the belching girl and her accomplices."

Kon's eyebrows lifted "You did? Where is she? Did you finish the job?"

"She got away."

"What? How?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw River flinch, but he chose to ignore it. Well, until Lady Ivy continued.

"River let them get away?"

Kon's heart dropped. River? But they were the most loyal knight in the kingdom! They were the first knight he went to to recruit for this mission! There was no way he would betray the throne!

But as he looked at the knight, they refused to make eye contact with Kon, looking instead at their feet. Kon didn't want to believe it, but...

"River is it true?"

River finally looked into Kon's eyes, and he could see the panic in them, "Sir Kon, I can-"

"Shut it, Knight River!" Lady Ivy spat. "It's your fault they all got away!"

Kon could feel a fire burning in his chest. After trusting River with his life, how could they betray the kingdom, betray him like this?

"But-"

Before he could stop himself, he drew his sword and stormed over to River, where he placed the blade right up against their neck.

"Not another word, you venomous traitor."

Kon could see the tears in River's eyes, but he didn't care. He couldn't care.

"Sir Kon," they said, voice strained from the blade. "Please."

Kon didn't want to drop his weapon, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about what they had to say. So, he dropped his sword, but not completely sheathing it.

"Go on, then." he said. "Explain to me why you betrayed us."

River looked back down at their feet once again. Kon wanted to shout at them to look at him when addressing him, but it wasn't worth the effort.

"It just... it doesn't make sense." they finally said after taking a second to let their tears drop on the leaf-covered ground. "The girl is innocent. I looked into her eyes and I knew. I couldn't bring myself to take an innocent person's life."

"It doesn't-"

River suddenly whipped their head up, making eye contact with Kon. "You can't possibly tell me you want to kill this girl!"

Kon's heart stopped. River... was right. Despite his outward appearance, his conscience was constantly screaming in his head that killing this girl was not okay, that he couldn't do it. And constantly putting his king's motives into question.

But he had to trust his king. He had to believe he had the kingdom's best interest at heart, and his own best interest, as well. After all he had sacrificed, it was the only thing keeping him going.

So, he gave River a look. "It doesn't matter what I want. The king wants her dead, so that is what we're going to do." He scowled. "You'd think someone with a history like yours would understand that."

River flinched at the implication of their father, but otherwise kept their mouth shut.

"So, what now, Sir Kon?" Lady Fiona asked.

Kon tightened his grip on his sword. River's actions easily warranted execution, so there was nothing stopping him from killing them right then and there. Even so...

He dropped his sword onto the ground, the metal clanging loudly as it fell.

"Despite your betrayal, I cannot ignore all the good you've done for the kingdom in the past. Because of this, I will spare your life. But you are hereby banished, and if I ever lay eyes on you again, I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand?"

"But-"

Kon looked away from his most loyal knight, his dearest friend. "Go!"

He couldn't bring himself to look, even as he heard his footsteps get quieter and quieter. When he finally had the nerve to look again, River was long gone.

Kon wasn't one to cry, he never was. But in that moment, he had gotten the closest he had ever been.

Even so, he looked at the three remaining knights in front of him.

"Let's head out."

Notes:

WOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE

sorry it's been so long everyone, life got crazy for a while there, but i'm back and hopefully i'm here to stay (or at least i'll hopefully be more active)

but even though i made you wait, there's bo burps in this chapter, so sorry about that too. next chapter, i promise! but for now, i hope you still enjoy!

Chapter 15

Summary:

Runt reassures Robin

Notes:

just a quick warning: there won't be any burping in this chapter, but there will be quite a bit of farting. if that's not your thing, please feel free to skip this chapter or even drop this story altogether, because this won't be the last time there's farts in this story! and as i've said before, farting isn't really a thing i'm into personality, but it felt right for the story, so i'm giving it a go. if there's something you think i could do better though, pls let me know!

Chapter Text

"Alright, let's stop here for now."

The three of them finally stopped running, and they all flopped onto the floor, utterly winded. As they all struggled to catch their breath, Runt looked over to see Robin rubbing a hand over her stomach, a pained look on her face. Clearly, she was having a harder time getting air back into her lungs than the rest of them.

"Thanks for having our backs out there, Runt," Robin said.

"Yeah," Arrach said, "while it was unconventional, it definitely worked."

Runt winked. "I knew it would."

"Do you think you can do that every time I need to eat?" Robin said. "Because I would prefer to not have to starve myself."

"Of course! I just wish you had told me sooner."

"Well, we only met last night."

Runt shrugged. "Good point."

Arrach sat up and cracked his knuckles. "I'm just glad I was unconscious for most of-"

Arrach was cut off by a burst of loud flatulence, and he jumped in shock from his spot on the floor. It died down a bit, only to rear back up for a little longer, before ending after about eight seconds.

Arrach glared at Runt. "What was that? Robin isn't even eating!"

Runt put his hands in the air. "Hey! It wasn't me!"

"Of course it was you! Who else would it have been?"

"No, no, it wasn't him. It was me."

Arrach tuned incredulously to Robin, who was patting her stomach. Runt smiled.

"Sorry," she said, without an ounce of remorse in her tone. "I think something I ate is disagreeing with me."

"That's probably on me," Runt said, "I was in a rush, so I didn't really wash the fruits and greens as much as I could've." he smiled again. "But hey, that was a good one!"

Robin smiled too, but there was a bit of a strain to it as she said. "I'm sure there's more where that came from."

Right on cue, she gripped her stomach as she leaned to the side, and another string of flatulence escaped her. This one wasn't as loud as the one before, but what was lost in volume was made up for in length. Her face became red as she pushed out the gas for fifteen seconds, and when it was finally over, she heaved a sigh of relief.

"That felt good."

"Phew!" Runt still hadn't wiped the grin from off his face even as he fanned the stench away from his face. "You're a pro, Robin!"

Robin just chuckled. It wasn't often that her gas decided to escape her from that end, but she had to admit it was a feeling she certainly wasn't opposed to.

However, she was pulled out of her good mood when Arrach huffed beside her. "Well I, for one, am not amused."

Robin could see the irritation in his eyes, and for what was probably the first time in her life, she began to feel genuinely embarrassed for her crass display. She felt heat burning her cheeks as she cast her eyes downward.

"Pardon me," she said quietly, this time unable to hide the shame in her voice.

Runt glared at Arrach. What right did he have to make Robin feel bad for a such a natural bodily function? Especially if it was helping her relieve her stomachache? Robin may have let him get away with his snobbishness, but Runt wasn't as forgiving.

"Don't be like that, Arrach," he said, with a bit of a playful edge to his tone. "I know your type."

Arrach raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a troll, aren't you? I've met a few trolls in my day, and they all had one thing in common: gassiness."

"Well-"

"And if you're anything like the ones I've met, which I'm sure you are, then your farts are probably bad enough to rival my own."

Arrach's face was burning with embarrassment. "They are not!"

"Uh huh, sure they're not."

"Not even close!"

Runt smirked. "Prove it then."

Arrach's blush became even deeper. "What?

"Go on, give us your worst. If it can't rival mine, then I won't bother you about it again. But until then, I'll just keep pestering, and pestering, and pestering, and-"

"Alright, I'll do it! But only if it means you'll shut up!"

Runt immediately shut his mouth.

Arrach's usually green-tinted skin was now cherry red from top to bottom, but even still, he sat up as straight as he could. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned to the side.

The resulting flatulence was devastating. All the grass in the immediate line of fire shriveled up instantly, and leaves in the trees around them were blown off their branches from the strong breeze. The sound was loud enough to make even Runt want to plug his ears, and after about twenty seconds, it came to a strong finish.

He looked over at the other two sheepishly. "Happy now?"

Robin smiled. "Absolutely! I knew you could belch like that, but farting, too? You're incredible!"

Arrach blinked. "Really?"

"Of course!"

Arrach smiled as he redirected his gaze to the floor. "Thanks, I guess."

"As impressive as that was," Runt said, "I have to admit you were right, Arrach."

"About what?"

"That your farts are nowhere near as good as this!"

With that, Runt took his turn, and all hell broke loose. For the next thirty seconds, the ground shook beneath them, and every living thing within a fifteen foot radius withered and died. Even a small group of rabbits weren't immune to the stench, and they were knocked out immediately.

When it was over, Runt sighed as he pat his stomach. "Yeah, that's the winner right there."

While Robin clapped in congratulations, Arrach nodded. "I suppose that was rather impressive."

Runt bowed his head. "Thank you. And see? There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about these things when we're with each other. It's just a natural bodily function, and given... everything about ourselves, we should be comfortable enough with each other to not have to worry about hiding it."

"You're right," Arrach turned to Robin. "I'm sorry, Robin."

"It's okay, I can understand the discomfort. It's not very ladylike, after all."

"Fuck that!" Runt said, "being ladylike is so overrated!"

Robin just smiled as she looked at Runt before mouthing a sincere thank you. He just nodded back. After all she had done for him, it was the least he could do.

Then, Robin's face twisted once again, and she glanced at the two of them. "Now that that's settled, I think I got one more left in me."

"Make it a good one," Arrach winked.

Robin did just that. She leaned to the side and pushed out a burst of gas that was just as long as her last one, but much louder than any she had let out yet. When it was over, she sighed in relief.

"Much better."

"Good!" Runt said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Are we ready to go, then?"

"Yes," Robin said. "After all of that, the knights probably heard us. We better leave."

Notes:

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