Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hinata

Another wobbly step nearly sent the red head crashing onto the sidewalk. Instead, he caught himself on the wall; his shoulder colliding with the rough edges of the bricks. A soft whimper slipped from his bloodied lips as pain shot down his body, and finally, his legs gave out. He slid down the brick, ignoring the scratches as it tore as his already worn sweatshirt, and collapsed into a puddle of half melted snow, his backpack now at his side. The cold jolted his senses just slightly, just enough to clear his drowsy head for a moment.

It was cold. The winter chill bit his cheeks and leaving them red and dry. Snow drifted artfully around him, clouding his view with white. Looking around, the streets were somewhat crowded. Yet all anyone offered him was a glance or two. The buildings ahead were tall, and he recognized one.

So that’s how far I walked…

He felt a smile creep along his lips. He had gotten far enough away that it would take Terushima a few hours to find him once he was home from work. He had gained a decent head start. Now if only his head would stop pounding.

He took out his phone, the screen shattered and barely working after being thrown across the apartment. Terushima had a strong arm and good aim. Making sure to hit the hard kitchen tile and do as much damage as possible. The battery was low too; the red line mocking as it ticked down minute by minute.

Who could he call? Who would actually pick up? Kenma? No. They had lost contact over a year ago, just after Terushima came into his life. And he was probably too busy to drive out to get him. His mother and little sister were out of the question. They shouldn’t see him now, not like this. Not with evidence of the years of abuse he had suffered still littering his small body. Everyone else was gone from his life. Cut out by Terushima’s scheming or they had simply drifted apart after high school.

His vision began to blur again, eyes unfocusing even as he squinted at the screen.

“Hey, are you alright?” A gentle voice broke through the fog and Hinata followed it to a young man with striking silver hair. He was wrapped in a large, puffy winter coat, a purple knit hat and a matching mask placed over his mouth and nose.

Hinata nodded, but the movement felt sluggish. Almost as if he was stuck in water. “Yeah…” His voice was strained and rough, throat raw from the screams silenced only by hands around his neck.

“Are you sure?” The man clearly wasn’t stupid enough to fall for Hinata’s lie. But he was sure that the man was only asking to be polite, that he would leave once he got another answer.

“Yeah…”

To his surprise, the man crouched beside him and pulled the mask down, letting it rest below his chin. And it’s then that Hinata could really take in the man’s looks. He was taller, but not by much. The silver hair was so light with a tint of blonde undertones, and Hinata honestly couldn’t tell if it was natural or not. His eyes were hazel and sparkling even then in the dim street lights; and beneath one was a small delicate beauty mark.

He’s pretty.

“Why don’t I just bring him home instead? I bet he’s a better fuck than you. Ungrateful bitch.”

Terushima’s voice echoed in his mind and Hinata could feel his body beginning to crumble. His hand shook and he shoved his fist into the pocket of his sweatshirt. It offered little warmth and no comfort.

“Hey—”

“Sugawara, what is going on?” A new voice cut through the white noise. It was deep, and the sound of it made Hinata flinch.

“Toshi, I think he needs help.” The silver haired man’s voice was slightly panicked. “We can’t just leave him here. Give me a hand.”

There was a slight rustling and Hinata could see that the taller man had pulled out his phone. The screen lit up his face. “I will call the police. They can handle it—”

“He’s bleeding, Toshi!” The first one — Sugawara, he thought, snapped. “He needs a hospital! We have a car! We’re taking him!”

The other man sighed heavily, “Sugawara —”

“Just call the driver! And tell Daichi to meet us at the hospital!”

Then, Hinata felt a hand on his arm. He jerked back involuntarily, and instantly regretted it. The movement had only served to remind him of the injuries the two men couldn’t see. The deep purple bruises on his rib cage. The finger prints on his thighs, hips and neck. The marks on his wrists where the rope had been pulled too tight.

“Hey, hey,” the man called softly; his hand no longer touching Hinata, but hanging limp in the air between them. “We’re not going to hurt you. We just want to get you some help. Take you somewhere warm. It’s going to keep snowing and you’ll freeze if you stay out here.”

Hinata tried to laugh, but the sound was more of a harsh breath than anything. “…would that be so bad…?”

The stranger’s face twisted and blurred into what he imagined to be horror. This is not a joking matter. The voice in his head was unrecognizable, but it was right.

He blinked, but the world remained blurry and began to blacken around the edges. The last thing he saw was the silver haired man’s friend reaching to pick him up and a very expensive looking car coming down the street toward them.

Ushijima

The driver knew better than to ask too many questions, and Ushijima knew better than to try and change Sugawara’s mind once it was set.

Ushijima approached the car, cradling the battered young man — he weighed barely anything and his body was cold to the touch. The signs of abuse were obvious from the blood and bruising on his face. He had seen it before, but not of this nature. And for a moment he wondered if those bruises went further beneath his clothes.

The thought sent a shiver down his spine.

Sugawara went first, sliding in and reaching to help guide the boy into the car. The last thing he needed was another injury because of their carelessness.

Ushijima laid the red head across Sugawara’s lap before sliding into the cab beside them, resting the young man's legs on his own. And it took only a millisecond before Sugawara was cradling the boy to his chest.

“Toshi,” Sugawara whispered softly, as if the sound of his voice might wake the stranger. “H-his pants.” Heartache laced his words and Ushijima knew before looking at him that there would be tears in his eyes.

“I know.” Was all he said, his eyes returning to the blood stains along the boy’s inner thighs. It was becoming increasingly obvious what had happened; and the thought of it turned Ushijima’s stomach.

Sugawara sniffled beside him, but quickly wiped at his eyes before more tears could escape. He carded his fingers through the boy’s hair, and Ushijima could see a few more bruises hidden beneath it.

“We’re all set. Take us to the nearest hospital.” Ushijima instructed, knowing all too well that Sugawara was too focused on the boy. He made a call to Daichi, making sure to let him know that it wasn’t his boyfriend who needed medical attention. Regardless of the reassurance, Daichi was insistent on meeting them at the hospital.

The ride was quick; the nearest hospital was luckily only a few blocks away. They arrived and Ushijima carried the boy inside, eagerly handing him over to the trained professionals as soon as the bed was available. The nurse took their information and promised to update them as soon as she could. And then they were gone; the doctors and nurses disappearing behind the swinging doors with the unconscious redhead.

The minute hand ticked passed the twelve. Another hour went by. It had been three total since they had last been updated. The boy — Hinata Shōyō, according to his ID — was in surgery to stop the internal bleeding around his spleen. The x-rays revealed three broken ribs and a fractured wrist. Along with countless contusions and deep bruises and an older break on his left arm that had healed decently well. The doctor had described the evidence of rape as delicately as she could.

The physical wounds would heal with time, but mentally they could never be sure.

“Babe, sit down.” Daichi called from one of the chairs. “Pacing won’t make the surgery go any faster.”

Ushijima looked up, watching as Sugawara continued pacing back and forth, seemingly ignoring his partner’s suggestion.

The room was empty aside from a young woman sitting off to the side, and she hadn’t bothered to look up. Surely too preoccupied with thoughts of her loved one in the middle of surgery.

“Koushi.” Daichi’s tone was stern, and Sugawara whipped his head around to face him.

“What?” He snapped. “I’m worried! I can’t just sit still, okay?!”

“Okay, okay,” Daichi stood up to meet him, “I know you’re worried. So am I.” He reached to take Sugawara’s hands and Sugawara let him. “The doctor said that they caught it in time, so he should be okay.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hands and Sugawara let out a shaky breath.

“I know…” He nodded, “I just… how could someone do that to another person? Dai, he’s so small.” His voice became strained as his throat tightened and tears filled his eyes. “The doctor said that it looked like he had suffered from abuse for a while — years even! I-I don’t know how he survived it all. What would have happened if we hadn’t found him?” He looked toward his bodyguard, but the man avoided his gaze.

How could someone abuse another person like that? He still didn’t understand it though he had tried. Even though he, himself, had suffered something of the sort at the hands of a loved one. Satori had offered his own kind of advice more than once; some helpful, some not. But it still made no sense to him.

“Hey, hey.”

Ushijima watched as Daichi’s hands lifted to his boyfriend’s shoulders, squeezing tenderly — that, that was how a relationship was supposed to be. Loving and supportive. No ultimatums or passive aggressive comments. No fists, no pain.

His fingers curled into fists at his sides as a sudden wave of protectiveness crashed over him. He didn’t know Hinata, they weren’t friends, they weren’t close — but something stirred inside him, pushing him to protect the kid.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Daichi continued softly, “You did find him and he’s safe. He’s going to be okay.”

That time, Ushijima met the man’s stare and nodded. Hinata was safe, and he would remain that way. Ushijima would make sure of it.

Chapter Text

Hinata

The first thing he noticed was the steady beeping at his left side. The tedious sound cut through the otherwise silent room. Next was the lights; blinding against the bright walls. He blinked rapidly then shut his eyes tightly, a low groan echoing from his throat.

“Babe, babe he’s awake.” A voice interrupted the quiet. Hinata looked over and sitting in the chair beside the bed was a silver haired young man. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

Hinata squinted at the man’s face. It was familiar, but just barely. “Who…?”

“Oh, right. We met a few nights ago.” The man looked a little disappointed that he didn’t recognize him right away, but honestly? Hinata didn’t care. His entire body was on fire and his head throbbed something awful. “My name is Sugawara Koushi, but most people just call me Suga; and that’s my boyfriend Daichi.” He waved his hand toward the other body in the room, sitting in the second chair against the wall. “My bodyguard and I found you on the street. You were in pretty bad shape, so we brought you here.”

Hinata wanted to nod, but his muscles wouldn’t cooperate and he ended up only tilting his head to the side. He remembered the street; the cold and wind, the people walking past him. But everything was hazy.

“How long… was I out…?”

“Two days.” The man, Suga — he would try to remember that — answered him. “You had one surgery to stop some internal bleeding and they put a cast on your wrist earlier. It’s fractured, but they said it should heal on its own in a few weeks.”

Hinata’s eyes lowered to the white plaster covering his hand and forearm. He could wiggle his fingers, but that was about it. It didn’t seem so bad, but Hinata knew there was more to it. He knew that Suga was hiding something.

“What else…?”

Sugawara seemed to hesitate, “you…” he sighed and looked at Daichi before rubbing his eyes. “They think you were raped.” He said plainly, though Hinata didn’t miss the slight waver in his voice. “And there was some tearing but they said it would heal up fine. They, um… they wanted to do a rape kit, in case you wanted to press charges. But you need to get consent for it.”

There it was.

He remembered the attack vaguely. Terushima had him pinned to the floor, but that was after he had slammed his head into the floor. It was blurry, but painful.

“Do you know who did this to you?” Suga asked, and Hinata nodded. “Do you want to press charges?”

“No…” Hinata said softly, pausing to clear his throat. “I don’t want to…” he watched their reactions and they didn’t seem happy with the decision. But he didn’t care. “It’s… my ex. I don’t want to see him… please. I just want it to be over.”

Pressing charges would mean facing Terushima again, seeing him across a courtroom. And what if he lost? What if Terushima walked away a free man? Pissed off and set on revenge.

No. He left, he had gotten away. Terushima had no idea where he was, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“They’ll hold onto the kit if you change your mind.” The man beside Suga said and Hinata flinched.

“I don’t want it.” He replied quickly, hoping that they would drop it. And luckily, before anymore could be said, Sugawara’s phone started ringing.

Quickly, he pried the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. “It’s Oikawa again.”

“You need to answer him.” Daichi sighed, “if you don’t he’s just going to track your location and show up here.” Suga made a face and Daichi perked an eyebrow at him. “You know I’m right.”

“Ugh! Yeah I know!” He hit the screen with his thumb and brought the phone to his ear before stepping out of the room. The door was shut quietly and silence enveloped the room again, but Daichi interrupted it before Hinata had a moment to relax.

“Sorry about that. It’s one of his co…workers.”

Hinata ignored the fairly obvious pause the man took, too tired to put his energy into it, “is he… late for work?”

Daichi gave a small nod, “I think so. He had the weekend off, but he’s supposed to be in makeup by now.”

Makeup? Hinata wanted to ask, but didn’t. It wasn’t any of his business what Sugawara did for work. He only knew that the man was late because of him.

“…sorry.”

“Sorry?” Daichi squinted at him, “it’s not your fault, Hinata.”

Hinata’s eyes closed, tired and watery.

“This is all your fault! This is because of you! Because of what you did! Because you thought you were better than me! That you could live without me!”

Terushima’s screams tore through his buzzing head, loud and clear. All but silencing Daichi’s kind words.

He leaned back against the pillows, closing his tired eyes again. “…sure.”

Ushijima

The woman at the counter handed him the last drink and he carefully slipped it into the cardboard carrier beside the other two. Daichi’s simple black coffee, his own green tea and Sugawara’s usual mocha frappuccino, with two extra shots of espresso and whipped cream. He stared at the pile of white sitting on top, drizzled with chocolate sauce and wondered how someone could want that first thing in the morning.

He checked his watch and grimaced. It was much later than he had anticipated. Picking up his pace a little, he reached the elevator and returned to the hospital floor the young man was staying on. The hall was busy with nurses and patients moving about, but he could make out Sugawara’s standing outside the hospital room.

“Leaving in a few minutes. Tell Ukai I’ll be there soon.” Suga agreed before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up the phone.

“Everything alright?”

Sugawara turned and smiled a small, unconvincing smile. “Hey, yeah.” He sighed, “I’m late for work.”

“I was going to remind you of that.” Ushijima replied.

Sugawara snorted, “good job. You’re a few hours late.”

Ushijima shrugged slightly and handed him one of the coffees. “The car will be here soon. You should get ready.”

Sugawara stared at the drink in his hands. “I don’t want to leave him yet. He just woke up. He shouldn’t be alone. I'd have Daichi just stay but he has a meeting he can't miss.”

Ushijima thought it over. His job was to keep Sugawara safe, to escort him to and from work – and anywhere else he wanted to go. But, surely he could make it to work one time without him.

“I could stay with Hinata.” He suggested, “Daichi can escort you to work, then attend his meeting. Or I can give Taketora a call if you would rather have him take you."

Sugawara's eyes lit up as he considered the suggestion. It wasn't ideal. Ushijima didn't like to leave Sugawara or Daichi on their own, and under normal circumstances, he wouldn't. However, this was anything but normal.

"No, no. Daichi and I would be fine this time. It's not too far from here and I'll have Taketora bring me home." Sugawara said on a breath. His smile slowly returned, though not nearly as bright as usual. “I appreciate it, Toshi.” He tucked the phone into his back pocket. “Come on, let’s go tell them the plan.”

Ushijima nodded and followed Sugawara back into the hospital room. He had yet to see the young man so awake, though he doubted this was his full self. The medicine pumping through the IV was surely keeping him still somewhat sedated. He was sitting up, which was a good sign, however still propped up by pillows. And he caught the young man's eyes staring when they stepped inside; wide and honey colored.

“Sorry about that!” Sugawara announced cheerfully. “Unfortunately I’m really late for work, so I have to head over there now. Daichi is going to bring me to work today and Ushijima here is gonna stay with you.” Sugawara smiled and clapped a hand on his shoulder, “in case you need anything.”

Ushijima nodded, but the announcement seemed to have Hinata panicking. His quickening heartbeat picked up by the monitors.

“Hinata?” Sugawara crossed the room in a matter of seconds, coming to the young man’s bedside. “Hinata, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

Ushijima followed, and the beeping quickened again.

“D-Don’t!” Hinata cried, his wrapped hand lifting to shield himself from Ushijima, and the broad shouldered man froze. Hinata’s breathing was quickly becoming staggered; his chest lifting and falling unevenly as he gasped for air.

“Hey, hey,” Sugawara gingerly took Hinata’s other hand and squeezed. “It’s okay. You’re safe, you’re safe.”

Hinata watched him, but his eyes were unfocused. Sugawara took a deep, slow breath, silently encouraging the redhead to do the same. Hinata tried, then again, and by the third breath the beeping had slowed, his panic fading. Sugawara continued to breathe with him until he was certain that the young man was calm again.

“No one here is going to hurt you.” He continued, keeping his tone light and soft. “Ushijima won’t hurt you. He helped you, remember? You can trust him.”

Hinata’s gaze drifted to Ushijima and he found himself trapped in them. His face had always been stoic, expressionless; but he made a conscious effort to try and soften his features. He took a few steps back to give him some space.

“He looks scary, but I promise he’s not.” Sugawara said, and Hinata seemed to start trusting it. “He’s just going to stay with you until I get back from work. Is that okay?”

Sugawara wasn’t an expert on abuse, nor had he suffered at the hands of a loved one. But Ushijima was impressed. He clearly had figured out that getting Hinata’s permission was important; the boy likely hadn’t had much control over his own life lately. And the last thing he wanted was to make more decisions for him.

“If this makes you uncomfortable, we can make other arrangements.” Ushijima explained quietly. “We can ask one of the nurses, perhaps—.”

“No…” Hinata said behind a cough, “I’m fine… it’s fine…”

Sugwara hesitated, “are you sure? I’m sure we could ask someone else. I just hate the idea of leaving you here alone.”

Hinata nodded weakly. “It’s fine.”

“Alright,” Sugawara patted Hinata’s arm lightly, “try and get some rest. We’ll be back later. Call me if anything happens.” He spoke to Ushijima that time. “We won’t be gone too long.”

Hinata

They sat in relative silence for the next few hours. The drugs pumping through the IV kept him drowsy and falling in and out of restless sleep. Ushijima kept his distance. Sitting across the room by the window, flipping through a magazine he found. Hinata told him that he could watch TV, but the man didn’t want to disrupt any rest he might get.

Hinata gave up after a while, and was quickly faced with a new problem. His empty stomach growled softly. Two days, he reminded himself; it had been two days since his last meal. And that had only been a quick snack before Terushima got home.

“Ushijima…?” He called, his voice hoarse from disuse.

The older man looked at him, sitting up in his spot. “Yes?”

There were good people, he knew that. He knew that not everyone was like his ex boyfriend; that people can be kind. That they won’t hit you or scream at you for some minor inconvenience. At first, Hinata had been afraid to be left alone with the bodyguard, let alone fall asleep. The drugs, however, made it hard to keep himself alert. And when he woke up a few hours later, untouched and unharmed – Ushijima sitting in the exact same spot – he felt himself relax.

Ushijima was what Suga said; sweet, quiet, trustworthy. Though rather stoic. He hadn’t smiled once at him; but thankfully, he didn’t seem entirely displeased with his task to watch over him.

“I’m hungry…” he said softly. “Is there any food…?”

Ushijima hesitated for a moment, as if thinking of a plan, “Alright. I will find a nurse for you. They have meals here, I’m sure.” He set the magazine down and stood up, and Hinata fought the urge to sink into the mattress. Ushijima disappeared into the hall and for a few minutes, Hinata was alone.

He had always hated being alone. Even as a child. The solitude and isolation didn’t suit him — maybe that was why he clung so tightly to Terushima. Even after the first beating. After the first assault. He accepted the apologies and excuses and empty words so easily; so that Terushima would stay.

He was pathetic.

Ushijima returned a few minutes later carrying a light blue tray with a few items stacked on top. The man moved into the room so cautiously, like he was approaching a frightened animal; and if Hinata had more energy, he would have laughed.

“The nurse gave this to me.” He moved toward the bed but stopped abruptly a few feet away.

Hinata weakly waved him over, “it’s okay… ‘m not afraid of you." That wasn’t entirely true, however he was feeling a little less uneasy around the man. A fact that was proven by the way he inched back when Ushijima came to the bedside. The tray was placed carefully on his lap before Ushijima put some distance between them again.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

Hinata snorted softly, “I feel like shit.”

Ushijima was quiet then. Hinata slowly uncovered the meal – a piece of salted salmon, a bowl of miso soup, natto and rice. It was simple and familiar; something he ate throughout his childhood. And for that, he was grateful.

He picked up the chopsticks and they immediately slipped from his grasp. His fingers were shaking and weak.

“Damnit…” He swallowed back the lump forming in his throat and tried again. The chopsticks fell onto the tray with a soft clatter and Hinata slammed his hand down onto the bed. “Damnit!”

“Do you want some help?”

He looked over at Ushijima, brows lifting in surprise. “W-what? You… you mean like feeding me?” His cheeks darkened at the thought. It was embarrassing enough being in the hospital bed, but not being able to eat on his own made it so much worse.

Ushijima nodded, his expression still as detached as it had been earlier. “Your body is still weak, likely due to the pain medication. I don’t mind.”

Hinata dropped his gaze on the food and briefly considered just eating with his hands. Because that wouldn’t be anymore embarrassing.

“Fine.” He mumbled.

Ushijima nodded and scooted his chair closer. He reached across the tray to grab the chopsticks and it was then that Hinata could really see just how big the man’s hands were. He tried not to flinch when Ushijima picked up a piece of salmon and some rice.

“Is this alright?” He lifted it to Hinata’s lips.

He nodded, and slowly opened his mouth. Ushijima carefully fed him the bite and Hinata relaxed slightly, enjoying the savory taste of the salmon. “Thanks…” He mumbled after a moment.

“It’s no problem.” Ushijima replied gently as he gathered a second bite of food for him, smiling just slightly. Hinata found himself leaning closer, and the man quickly looked up at him. “...what is it?”

Hinata fell back against the pillows, his cheeks warm with blush. “N-nothing. Just… hungry.”

Ushijima was quick to remedy that, and held up the chopsticks. Hinata let out a soft sigh, and smiled as he took the second bite.

Chapter Text

Hinata

After another night spent curled up in the hospital bed and an awkward and a painful shower, the doctors had decided that he was well enough to be released into Sugawara’s care. Ideally, they would have contacted his family, but Hinata had outright refused. He didn’t want them to know about this, and no amount of Sugawara’s guilt tripping or sad eyes was going to change that.

“Alright,” Daichi patted the duffel bag and squared his shoulders. “We've got everything packed up. You ready?”

With a small nod, Hinata gave his answer. He wanted to leave badly. The wheelchair he was sitting in wasn’t terribly uncomfortable, but it was awkward and embarrassing. The donut shaped pillow beneath him even more so.

Sugawara swung the door open only to be ushered back inside by Ushijima. The behemoth of a man took up nearly the entire door frame, not allowing Sugawara to sneak around him. His large hand gripped Sugawara’s shoulder and guided him back into the room.

“We may have a problem.” He quietly shut the door behind him.

“What happened?” Daichi asked.

“Someone from the hospital shared Sugawara’s location,” he sighed, and didn’t move away from the door. “The paparazzi are outside.”

Suga groaned, running his fingers through his ashen hair, “shit.”

"We should have been more careful." Daichi sighed. "Didn't they sign an NDA when we got here?"

"Not everyone." Suga reminded him, "there's tons of staff here. And since I'm not the patient, it's not necessarily confidential."

Hinata squinted as he watched them. What the hell were they talking about? An NDA -- why would anyone need that? “What do you mean?” He asked finally, “what’s going on?”

Then suddenly, all eyes were on him, and he shrunk a little bit into the wheelchair.

“Wait… you don’t know?” Daichi looked at Suga then and the silver haired man shrugged.

“Know what?” Hinata frowned, nearly as annoyed now as he was tired.

“Suga—”

“I’m Sugawara Koushi.” Suga cut Daichi off, looking at Hinata expectantly. “The Sugawara Koushi.”

Sugawara Koushi. Sugawara Koushi. The name was familiar. It was really familiar.

Then it hit him.

“Sugawara Koushi - star of countless dramas, is currently filming a movie with breakout star Kageyama Tobio and fan favorite Oikawa Tooru!”

His eyes shot open wide, “Holy shit…! You— you’re—”

Suga’s hand was on his shoulder, the weight and warmth helping to calm him down. “Yep, that’s me. I’m a little surprised that you didn’t figure it out, but you have had a rough couple days.”

He swallowed back the panic. A celebrity — no, a literal superstar was standing in front of him, holding his hand; he even helped him get dressed! Hinata wanted to throw up. The nerves and adrenaline twisting grossly in his gut. It made sense now that he thought about it. The bodyguard constantly trailing behind him, the expensive car, the hour of make up before work — he was an actor.

So what the hell was he doing with him?

“I’ve spoken with the hospital’s security, and we can have the car come around the back.” Ushijima’s deep voice was stern, professional and calm, despite the seriousness in his stare. “Regardless, wear your mask. Hinata,”

Hinata flinched when the voice was directed at him and hesitantly met that piercing hazel stare.

“I will hide you beneath my coat.” And with that, he shimmied his suit jacket off and tucked it beneath a massive arm. “Once we are in the car you won’t have to worry.”

“Why are you hiding me? I’m not famous.” He felt stupid asking, but it made no sense. It wouldn’t matter if the paparazzi saw him — they wouldn’t care about him.

Sugawara slipped on a black mask that covered his nose and mouth, “it’s for your privacy, Hinata. Trust me, you don’t want your face plastered everywhere.”

“Especially with your ex boyfriend possibly out looking for you.” Daichi added.

Well, he couldn’t argue with that. He hoped that Terushima had just given up after not being able to find or reach him, but he knew that wasn’t going to be the case. He never gave up.

“Do you have everything?” Ushijima asked, his hand on the door handle. Suga nodded as he slipped on a black baseball cap. “Then let’s go.”

And then, they were on the move. Daichi pushed the wheelchair out into the hall, following behind Sugawara and Ushijima. Thankfully, the floor they were on wasn’t terribly crowded, aside from the hospital employees and extra security. They moved to the elevators, where another guard was waiting, and rode down to the hospital’s lobby. Daichi was quiet behind him, his eyes stuck on Suga’s back. The silver-haired man, however, didn’t seem fazed at all. Which, Hinata figured, meant that he was used to this sort of thing.

As they approached the doors, Hinata could see a few people standing outside. Two were security guards but the rest were, what he assumed, paparazzi. Pressing against each other while the guards pushed them back.

“So much for the back door.” Suga scoffed quietly.

The jacket was thrown over Hinata’s head and shoulders without warning, effectively blanketing him and shielding both him and the paparazzi from each other.

“It’s gonna be loud, but the car’s right out there.” He heard Daichi say moments before the doors opened. A rush of cold air hit him and made him shiver, despite the layers Suga had given him to wear.

Loud was an understatement. It was chaotic. He could see, couldn’t hear them — all he could do was grip the jacket tightly, breathe and wait.

“Sugawara! Sugawara over here!”

“Why have you been in the hospital?”

“Can you address the rumors around your feud with Oikawa Tooru?”

“Who is the young man in the wheelchair? Is he family?”

Sugawara and Daichi were both silent through all of it, ignoring the invasive questions. The wheelchair stopped and he heard a car door opening and shutting.

“Hinata,” Ushijima’s voice gently cut through the yelling, “can you stand?”

He nodded, but realizing that the jacket might block the man’s view, he said, “yes… I can.” He moved sluggishly, feeling Ushijima’s hands guiding him into the luxury car. He collapsed into the seat, any and all strength leaving him. The door slammed shut and the jacket was suddenly pulled off of him.

“There,” Suga smiled at him, the mask now hanging beneath his chin.

Hinata’s head whipped around to look out the window. The group of paparazzi was being ushered back by the security guards.

“Don’t worry, they can’t see inside.” It was like Suga could read his mind and had effortlessly put to ease the biggest worry he had at that moment. “Tinted windows.”

Hinata nodded and slowly turned back. The jacket was now laying across his lap. It was massive and was more like a blanket on him than anything else. Carefully, he ran his fingertip along the seam before tugging it closer and up over his shoulders again. It was warm and had a nice smell — something like cedarwood and pine. His eyes drifted to the front seat where Ushijima sat, quietly directing the driver to the best route.

Gradually, he relaxed. His eyelids growing heavy and head falling back against the seat. It wouldn’t be a long drive, Suga had told him that they lived close, but he was tired and surprisingly comfortable. The weight of the jacket kept him warm and calm as they pulled out onto the road.

The complex was, in a word, luxurious. The lobby was large, modern and secure. Two doormen stood outside, looking more like security guards than anything. One stepped to hold the door open as they approached and Suga greeted him politely. Inside, there was a large seating area with a stone fireplace. An intricate abstract statue stood off to the side, and across the room was a long desk with two well dressed workers. Hinata watched from the wheelchair as the man greeted them before he was pushed into an elevator. Daichi hit the button reading 12, and the door shut. Hinata watched the numbers change on the little screen as they rode higher and higher.

The doors opened and Suga literally hopped out. “You won’t have to worry about anyone bothering you here, we have the entire floor to ourselves.”

“Suga, you’re bragging.” Daichi warned gently, drawing a grin from his partner.

“I’m not!” He stopped at a large set of double doors. “I’m just explaining things.” Instead of a key, the pad required a pin and a fingerprint. The amount of security, while strange, did put him at ease. Terushima would have a hard time getting to him there. “Here we are!”

Ushijima pushed the chair through the doors and Hinata was greeted by the most extravagant home he had ever seen. It was spacious and modern — yet homey. The appliances and furniture were expensive, but soft. It was a stark contrast to Kenma’s place, with all the monochrome and black. There were cozy-looking blankets tossed across the navy blue couch, and fluffy, colorful pillows. A fireplace sat across from it; the mantle decorated with framed pictures of friends and family. There were dishes in the sink and a half-filled cup of coffee on the counter.

It was warm and inviting. But despite that, Hinata felt out of place. He wasn’t rich or famous; he was just a charity case Suga has taken in. A burden.

“Toshi, what are you waiting for? Bring him in.” Suga called from further in and the chair started to move again.

“I can walk, Suga.” Hinata mumbled.

“I know, Hinata.” Suga set his keys down on an end table beside a framed photo of him and Daichi. “It’s just to make the trip easier on you. The doctors want you on bed rest for a week.”

Bed rest. Hinata sighed, “I’m fine, I’m just sore.” And to prove it, he stood up, ignoring the way his body screamed in pain. “See?” He tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

Suga whipped around, wearing an oddly maternal glare. “Hinata, don’t—”

“I’m fine.” Except that he wasn’t. He took a step forward; his legs shaking and heavy, and as he landed, all the strength left him and he stumbled toward the ground.

“Hinata!”

He braced for the impact, but it didn’t come. Instead he felt a strong arm wrapping around his front, holding him up.

“Damn Toshi, you’re quick!” Suga sighed, with a small laugh.

Hinata stared at the massive hand on him; so big that it covered a good portion of his stomach. It’s just Ushijima. He told himself, it’s just Ushijima. But regardless of that fact, he started to panic. The familiar twists and turns in his stomach, the shallowing breaths; the loud, obnoxious ringing in his ears.

“Let go… let go!”

The hand vanished from his waist as quickly as it had appeared. The motion left him unsteady, but he managed another wobbly step forward and grabbed onto the wall.

Suga rushed to his side, hands extended and Hinata felt his body flinch away without thought. Suga pulled back.

“Hinata…”

“Give him some space.” Ushijima’s deep voice echoed behind the ringing, and everyone around him stepped back.

Space. What he needed wasn’t space. He needed something solid, something to hold onto to make all of this feel real. The wall would have to do at that moment, and he clung to the corner of it until his knuckles were white.

What felt like minutes must have only been a few seconds, because his body was somehow still upright and he knew it wouldn’t be that way for much longer. Cautiously, he lowered himself back into the wheelchair. His entire body was shaking. That was a mistake. A stupid, stubborn mistake.

“Did I hurt you?” Ushijima asked from behind him.

His ribs ached; the bruises were still fresh and tender. Ushijima’s hand had grazed them, but he didn’t think he had made them any worse.

He shook his head. “No…” You just scared me. He almost said it. Though, looking at the man’s solemn expression, he didn’t have to.

“I apologize.” Ushijima bowed his head, “I will refrain from touching you—”

“It's fine.” He interrupted, “I’m… fine. You were just trying to help.”

Ushijima frowned, his brows knitted together in what looked like concentration. Like he was trying to put together a puzzle.

Hinata tore his eyes away and turned to Suga, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Suga walked around him to the handles of the chair, ushering Ushijima back and away. “We get it. Let’s just get you comfortable, okay?”

The clothes were laid out on the bed like a parent would have done for their child in the morning before school. Expensive, judging from the brand names, and new.

“I had my assistant pick up some things for you. They should be your size, but let me know if anything doesn’t fit.”

Suga was spoiling him, and he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve any of this. Still, he wasn’t rude enough to not accept it — some of it at least.

He pulled the tie on the sweatpants and knotted it, and had to roll the sleeves of the hoodie up a little. The set was big, but he wasn’t going to complain when they were being so generous. He moved quietly out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Toshi we’re good, you can go home and relax. Dai and I can handle everything today.” Suga’s warm voice carried through the open concept home with ease.

“Are you sure?” Ushijima asked; Hinata could picture his furrowed and stoic expression. “I don’t mind staying.”

“Seriously, Toshi!” Suga sighed but it ended with a laugh. “You’ve been up for basically three days straight watching over him. You’ve done plenty for him already, okay?

Hinata blinked. Is he talking about me?

“What about his meals?” Ushijima asked; something in his voice sounded strained. “I will have something delivered for him. Something simple… porridge perhaps.”

Hinata’s throat tightened and he swallowed slowly. Three days. Ushijima watched over him for three days — they all did. When Suga wasn’t at work, he was at the hospital. They were all there, watching him sit helplessly in a hospital bed. Taking care of him; taking care of everything. Even now.

He slowly, and painfully, slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. His sore body screaming at him as he moved.

“Just go get some rest. You have to be here bright and early to pick me up for work tomorrow!” He could hear Suga’s smile beneath the words.

“Very well.” Ushijima sounded almost defeated. His quiet footsteps retreated — it was still odd to think that someone so big was so quiet — and the door shut softly.

“Suga,” Daichi’s voice was hushed, but he could still hear it. “Are you sure we shouldn’t try and call his family? They’re probably worried sick.”

Hinata lowered his head onto his knees and closed his eyes. They might’ve been, but in reality they would have no idea that he was gone. Terushima had limited his contact with both his friends and family. So going a few days, even a week or two without talking to them was normal.

“He doesn’t want to yet.” Suga replied, and for that, Hinata was grateful. “He will when he’s ready. Just let him relax for a bit, Dai.” He heard the man’s soft padded feet moving across the floor and crumpled a little further into himself. Suga rounded the corner, “Hey! What are you doing down there?”

“Nothing.” Hinata mumbled. “Just… tired.”

“Then let’s get you somewhere comfier.” He held out his hands and Hinata just stared at them.

Guilt gnawed at him. “You don’t have to do all this. You’ve already done a lot for me… so…” The sudden touch to his hand made him stop and look up at the man.

“Hinata,” Suga’s eyes were warm but serious, “we don’t mind helping you. You’re not a burden. We chose to do this. So please, let us help you.”

He swallowed back the thick lump in his throat and nodded. Suga’s fingers brushed his and Hinata gripped them tightly.

Sugawara led him down the hall, supporting most of his weight. That was the first thing he wanted to do; get his strength back. But for now, they settled on the large sectional in the living room.

After a few minutes of Suga trying to explain how the remotes and television worked, Daichi sank onto the couch beside his boyfriend. He reached across Suga’s lap to hand Hinata a box. “Here. Yours was broken, so Suga’s assistant picked this up.”

Hinata stared at it with wide eyes. It was a phone — a brand new phone, the newest one available. His head snapped up, “What? Why?”

“I just told you.” Daichi smiled at him, “yours was broken. We can probably get your contacts transferred over but we’d have to have one of the employees do it.”

“No… it’s fine.” He was still in awe at the gift; still feeling like he didn’t deserve it. But, like the clothes, he wasn’t going to be rude. He could pay them back eventually. “I can do it myself.”

There were only four contacts that he really needed anyway, and he knew three of them by heart.

“Well, make sure you add mine and Daichi’s in there.” Suga said as he stretched his arms above his head. “Toshi too. In case you need anything.”

He started reciting the phone numbers while Hinata typed them in. The list was small; his mom, Natsu, Kenma, and now Suga, Daichi and Ushijima; Terushima’s was nowhere to be found. He stared at the names and felt a strange, unfamiliar tingle in his chest. For the first time in a long time, he felt safe.

The room was dim and covered in a hazy fog. He blinked, then rubbed his eyes but it did nothing to clear his vision. Regardless, he knew his way around. It was muscle memory. The old bookcase on his left, filled with his favorites; the worn couch ahead of him. The kitchen counter — instinctively, he felt for the bruise on his shoulder where he had collided with it the first time Terushima pushed him. It was over a year ago, the bruise would have healed by then — but it was there. Hinata hissed as his fingers brushed the wounded skin and he quickly pulled away. Blood dripped down his fingers.

That wasn’t right. No. He had gotten out! He had gotten away!

He spun around — was it all a dream? Suga and Daichi and Ushijima… was that real?

“You tried to run, huh?” The voice echoed across the room.

Hinata’s head whipped around, but where he expected to see Terushima, there was nothing.

“Tried to get away from me?”

He turned the other way; and was again met with nothing.

“You know you can’t.”

Nothing. There was nothing.

Hinata’s hands lifted to his ears in an effort to shield himself from that disgustingly familiar voice.

“No matter how far you run, you’ll never get away.”

He could feel warm breath on the back of his neck. He jerked forward, but something held him back. Looking down, he saw hands wrapping around him; gripping and bruising as they moved up and down his body

“You’re mine!”

Hinata whimpered and opened his mouth to scream but the sound caught in his throat as a hand grazed the bruised skin and tightened.

“Hinata! Hinata!”

His eyes shot open and light poured into view, blocked only by Sugawara’s soft features. The sudden closeness surprised him, and Hinata cowered, throwing himself back and into the wall. His head collided with the thud, and he let out a weak cry.

“Hinata!”

Someone was screaming, calling his name. It wasn’t Terushima — this voice was softer, warmer. His eyes were adjusting agonizingly slow; the fog from his dream still lingering.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Suga’s soft voice and gentle hands offered a respite. Hinata squeezed them back, holding on like a lifeline. “You had a nightmare?”

Hinata could only nod, his throat too tight and mouth dry.

“Alright…” Suga sighed softly, “it’s alright.” He slowly pried one of his hands free and Hinata reached for it again before he could stop himself. “It’s okay, Hinata. You’re safe.”

Again, he nodded. It was a dream. It was just a dream. He can’t get you here. He’s gone. You’re safe.

“Everything okay?” He heard Daichi ask tiredly from the doorway.

“Yeah,” Suga called back. “Just a nightmare.”

There was a beat of silence before Daichi said, “I’ll make some coco.”

“Thanks, babe.” Suga turned back to him, his arms slowly wrapping him up in a gentle embrace.

Hinata almost pulled away, he almost pushed back; but he needed the warmth. He needed that comfort; he hadn’t realized how much until that moment. To be held by someone lovingly. To be touched gently — he had always been a physically affectionate person, but with Terushima, that touch was never kind. It was harsh and brutal. Suga was the opposite.

And so he held on tight; his face pressed against Suga’s shoulder, tears stinging his tired eyes. A heavy sob rolled through his body, and before he could think of anything else, he broke down. Tears and snot poured down his face onto Suga’s shirt; but the man didn’t flinch.

“It’s okay.” Suga’s hand rubbed along his back and his voice was barely a whisper. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Chapter Text

Ushijima

“So why was Suga in the hospital?” Tendō’s voice was muffled slightly behind the banging of pots and pans. He was likely baking again; even off the clock, his friend was always trying out new recipes to impress his coworkers.

They had been talking for nearly fifteen minutes before his work had come up.
“Satori, you know that I can’t—”

“Come on, Toshi! I’m not one of those leeches. You can tell me.” He was whining. Actually whining.

Ushijima let out a heavy sigh. It wasn’t any of Tendō’s business, but his friend was as persistent as he was trustworthy. “Last week, Sugawara and I came across a young man on the street. He was hurt, and so Sugawara insisted that we bring him to the hospital.” He kept the explanation short and straightforward, but he knew Tendō would still have questions.

And sure enough, Tendō started rambling, “Hurt? Hurt how? How serious was it? It’s been so cold lately! He wasn’t out in the snow, was he? That could cause complications.”

Ushijima hesitated, and was grateful that his friend kept talking. The rambling gave him a moment to think. He considered lying, or stretching the truth a little, knowing that Tendō would worry. But Tendō knew, he always knew, when he was lying.

He let out a quiet breath, “He had just left an abusive boyfriend.”

Tendō was quiet for a few moments, even the baking had ceased. The silence was oddly unsettling, and Ushijima’s palms began to sweat.

“Are you okay?” Tendō asked finally.

His friend’s concern, while appreciated, wasn’t necessary. It had been four years. His wounds were no longer fresh. He had grown and healed; and he didn’t want to dwell on it any longer. But more importantly, he wanted the same for Hinata.

“Yes, Satori. I’m fine.” He said after a beat of silence.

He could hear a spoon hitting a pot as Tendō went back to working. “Good. You can tell me if that changes."

“Thank you, Satori.” He was relieved that it ended at that; that Tendō hadn’t pressed or pried any further. They had gone through it plenty of times in the past, once more wouldn’t change anything.

“Anytime!” There was a loud clattering and Tendō muttered something in French. “I have to go — my cake is trying to take over the oven!”

Ushijima smiled slightly, “I understand. Goodbye, Satori.”

“Bye Toshi!! Call me later so we can gossip more!!”

The call ended with a soft beep, and Ushijima tucked his phone into his pocket. He glanced at his watch; it was nearly time to pick up Sugawara.

Ushijima arrived promptly on time, the regular drinks in hand. He had hoped to provide one for Hinata as well, but Sugawara’s text left him guessing as to what to bring the young man. He chose a small hot chocolate – which seemed like a safe choice.

The door opened and Daichi stood there, looking a little worse for wear. “Hey Ushijima,” he greeted lazily. Clearly he wasn’t quite awake yet.

“Hello,” he plucked one of the drinks — the dark roast coffee with a splash of cream — and held it out to him. A lopsided smile broke out across his face.

“You’re incredible, Ushijima!” He set the mug of half drunk coffee down and took the one from his hand. “Suga’s getting dressed. Sorry, we had a late night.”

All Ushijima did was nod. The events of the last weekend had been stressful, to say the least. It didn’t surprise him that neither of them had slept well.

He looked around, but the little redhead was nowhere to be seen.

“He’s asleep.” Daichi said nonchalantly as he plopped down on the couch.

Ushijima looked at him, feeling heat creeping up the back of his neck. “I wasn’t—”

“Yes you were.”

The heat crept further, coloring his cheeks lightly. “I was only curious.”

Daichi smirked against the rim of his coffee cup. “Sure.” He took a sip and savored it for a moment before swallowing. “He had a nightmare, and we were up late trying to calm him down.”

A nightmare. He should have expected that. It hadn’t happened during his hospital stay, but he assumed that had something to do with the drugs they had him on.

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think so.” Daichi shrugged and sipped his coffee. “Just took a while to get him back to sleep. Kids, you know?”

Ushijima frowned. Looking at him then, Daichi did resemble a tired father. Pajama pants, old hoodie, coffee in hand and red rimmed eyes. However he didn’t particularly appreciate the way he compared Hinata to a child. He was an adult. An adult with trauma.

“Daichi—”

“Hey! Sorry!” Sugawara’s voice interrupted the lecture he was ramping up for. The silver-haired man slid into the room, carrying a jacket over one shoulder and a backpack over the other. “I’m here! Let’s go.” Sugawara patted his arm as he rushed past, “Ukai will seriously kill me if I’m late again!”

Only then did Ushijima realize how tense he was. He relaxed his shoulders and his grip on the drink tray.

“Hey,” he watched as Sugawara leaned down to get in Daichi’s face. “Make sure he eats something and drinks plenty of water.”

“Yes sir.” Daichi smiled up at him and Sugawara gave him a quick, but heated kiss. Ushijima tried not to watch, to allow them their privacy; and he also tried to ignore the small pang of jealousy in his chest.

Hinata

He had spent the better part of the day asleep. The three of them had been awake until two a.m. after that nightmare, but he was the only one able to keep resting. Both Suga and Daichi had work.

Yet another problem he had caused.

He hated it. He hated that he needed their help; that they were doing so much for him, when he couldn’t give them anything in return.

Reaching through the sheets, he felt around until he found his phone. The screen lit up. It was almost three, and while he didn’t feel hungry, he knew he needed to eat. Slowly, he sat up. His body screamed in protest; but he had to move. He had to take care of himself.

The apartment was quiet, and for a moment he wondered if he was the only one there; though he doubted that Suga would have left him alone. The man seemed hell bent on taking care of him no matter what he said. Hinata walked around, slowly taking it all in. He hadn’t paid much attention to everything the night before, only really looking at the living room and bedroom. It was a beautiful home, though arguably a bit too big for just the two of them.

The three of them.

No. No he wasn’t going to stay. Not for any longer than he needed to.

A voice caught his attention, but it wasn’t directed at him. Hinata followed it down the hall. The door was cracked open and he could see Daichi inside, sitting at a desk. The computer in front of him had some kind of spreadsheet, and he was talking on the phone to someone.

As quietly as he could, Hinata stepped away. Clearly, Daichi was in the middle of work, and he wasn’t about to interrupt him. He was a grown-up. He could manage to make a meal by himself.

The kitchen was, like the rest of the apartment, massive and pristine. He checked the fridge, and of course there was a container of porridge with his name on it. Suga must have prepared it before he left for work. And beside it, was a cafe cup. Hinata carefully picked it up and peeked beneath the lid.

Hot chocolate.

He felt himself smiling as he sniffed the sweet scent. The whipped cream had melted, but it still looked delicious, and part of him wanted to drink it and ignore the porridge. But he had a feeling that Suga wouldn’t approve.

He set both the cup and the container of porridge on the counter and looked around. He needed a plate, or a bowl – something to heat the dish up in. As quietly as he could, he searched through the cabinets until he found what he was looking for. A stack of pale green bowls, on the second to top shelf. Just out of his reach.

Of course.

Somewhere in his brain, he knew he should just ask Daichi; but he was determined to be less of a burden. It was just a bowl. He could handle it.

He stretched, using his unbandaged hand to balance himself on the counter while the other reached for the dishes. Every muscle and bone in his body ached with the movement and pressure, but he was close. He almost had it.

His fingertips grazed the edge of it.

Almost, almost —

The bowls slid toward him and he grabbed for them, but both slipped right through his fingers and collided with the floor. Shattering into pieces that flew in all directions; the sound breaking the silence violently.

Hinata stood frozen among the shards, gawking at the mess he had made.

No. No, no, no!

He had to clean this up before Daichi saw, before Suga came home. If they didn’t hate him for keeping them up last night, they would now.

“What happened?” Daichi was there, standing at the threshold.

Hinata’s head whipped around and he took a step back, instinctively moving away from the man. “I’m sorry! I-I’ll clean it up!”

Daichi looked at the floor, at the mess, and Hinata couldn’t tell if he was angry or frustrated or just confused. The way his brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed made him think it wasn’t the latter.

“Hinata–”

He dropped onto the floor and started to gather the pieces before Daichi had a chance to yell at him.

Instantly, Daichi crouched down beside him. “Hey! Don’t touch it!” He reached out and grabbed Hinata’s hand; the touch sent a wave of fresh terror through him and he shot back, falling to the floor. “Hinata!”

Ushijima

“I’m so sick of people asking about Oikawa!” Sugawara groaned as they stepped off the elevator. “They act like we’re mortal enemies or something. We argue one time during an interview and it’s like that’s all that matters! Not our projects, or charity work.” He pressed the keypad with his thumb and the door unlocked. “It’s so stupid —”

“I-I’m sorry! Please!”

“Hinata, it’s alright. Hey, it’s alright.”

Ushijima dropped the bags immediately and moved into the apartment. He rounded the corner and froze. Hinata was on the floor, back pressed against the counter, looking like a petrified animal.

“What happened?” Sugawara rushed past him and dropped to the floor.

“Suga!” Daichi snapped, “be careful!”

Hinata flinched when he raised his voice.

“I heard a crash and when I got here he started panicking and tried to clean it up.” Daichi explained hastily, “but I didn’t want him to cut himself, so I… ah I grabbed him—”

“What do you mean you heard a crash?” Suga asked, “where were you?”

Daichi frowned, “I was in the office working. He never came to get me, I thought he was still sleeping—”

“You let him get this by himself?!” Sugawara snapped. “Are you serious? He’s still healing, Daichi!”

Daichi let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand down his face. “Suga-”

“You couldn’t take one day off work?” Sugawara kept going and Ushijima knew that he regretted it the moment he spoke. It wasn’t often that Sugawara reacted aggressively to things. He was a kind, good-hearted man; but when it happened, it was a little scary. And Hinata was frightened enough already.

“Enough.” Ushijima interrupted their bickering and both men quieted down without hesitation. He slowly approached their guest and crouched down. “Hinata, it’s alright. No one is angry about the dishes.

Hinata didn’t meet his gaze, and Ushijima didn’t push. He had only one concern at the moment.

“Are you injured? Did you cut your hand at all?” To his relief, Hinata shook his head. He wasn’t injured, he was only scared. He looked back at the shards of ceramic on the floor; it needed to be cleaned up, and he certainly wasn’t going to allow Hinata to do it.

“Sugawara, take Hinata to the living room. Daichi and I will finish cleaning this up.”

Hinata sat up, “I-I’ll do it. It’s my mess.”

“Hinata,” Ushijima’s voice softened. “It was just an accident. We can clean this up for you. Take a breath and go with Sugawara.”

“You’re… seriously not mad?” Finally, Hinata looked at him and he was caught once again in those sweet honey-brown eyes. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat, and the sweat dampening his palms, and tried to reply. The words caught in his throat and he swallowed them down, but before he had to try again, Sugawara stepped in.

“No!” Sugawara answered. “We’re not mad. It was just a plate or whatever. It’s replaceable.” He crouched down beside Ushijima. “You matter more than that.” His hand extended and Hinata’s eyes dropped to it, the man seemingly contemplating whether or not to take it. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for him to decide, and he gingerly placed his hand in Sugawara’s.

Slowly, and with their help, Hinata was on his feet in a matter of seconds. Sugawara led him out of the kitchen and once they were out of sight, Ushijima let out a breath.

Beside him, Daichi began picking up the pieces of glass, and it wasn’t long until Ushijima joined him. He pulled out the garbage can before going to the closet to get a broom.

“I didn’t expect him to be so scared.” Daichi mumbled.

“He is going to be.” Ushijima stated plainly. “He was abused. It is… terrifying to be hurt by someone that is supposed to love you.”

Daichi tossed his pile into the garbage can, “How do you know so much about this? They teach it to you in bodyguard training?”

Ushijima hesitated, and he realized that Sugawara hadn't told Daichi about it. He found it hard to believe; Sugawara wasn’t a gossip when it came to personal matters, but Daichi was his boyfriend. And some secrets were too heavy to carry alone.

He bent down to pick up another large piece and tossed it into the garbage. “I have some… personal experience, yes.”

Daichi took the broom from his hand and started sweeping up the smaller pieces. “Care to elaborate?”

Honestly, Ushijima hadn’t expected him to ask. He hadn’t planned to have to share it; and he knew that Daichi wouldn’t force him. He wasn’t so cruel. He was curious, anyone would be.

Ushijima leaned against the counter, “Three years ago, I left an…” He hesitated to use the word abusive, “…unhealthy relationship. He wasn’t… physically abusive but he…”

Daichi had stopped sweeping and was watching him. Unconsciously, he picked at his fingers. It was a nervous habit he had picked up a while ago, but he usually had it under control. Talking about Goshiki always brought it back.

“He would scream and curse at me one minute, then cry and apologize the next. Tell me he hated me and that he loved me in the same sentence.” His voice was steady, but his hands had started to shake. “Any compliment he gave was double edged… and everything he gave me came with an ultimatum. He… was manipulative and mean.” It felt childish almost to describe his ex like that, but it was the truth. “I… I never knew what to expect from him.”

He stopped then. He needed to. The shaking in his hands had spread and his throat began to tighten. Part of him wanted to leave, though he knew Daichi wouldn’t judge him. Tendō and Sugawara were the only people who had ever seen this side of him. He preferred it that way.

After a moment, Daichi let out a sigh. “Jesus…” He leaned the broom against the wall and pushed a hand through his dark hair. “Ushijima, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“How could you? It is not something I’m proud of.” He could hear Tendō’s voice, telling him that he had nothing to be ashamed of. But it didn’t matter. The moment he shared it with someone, they looked at him differently. They looked at him like a victim. “Sugawara only knows because it affected my work once, but I never allowed it to happen again. And I assure you, he was perfectly safe.”

“I’m not… I’m not worried about that, Ushijima.” Daichi glanced toward the living room, to where Sugawara was standing. “I just… I had no idea that you went through that.”

Ushijima nodded, and the two men finished cleaning the mess in silence. He was careful to get every last piece off of the floor. Daichi put the broom away and took the garbage bag from him before he could protest, and moved to the front door.

“Daichi,”

The man paused and looked back at him. “What’s up?”

“If this is too much for you two to handle, I can take him in.” It wasn’t an offer he had given much thought to, but given the events of the day, it may be for the best.

“What?” Daichi frowned, “Ushijima that’s… a really kind offer, but we’re fine. We can handle it. It’s just… an adjustment. But it’s not any trouble.”

“You were yelling at him. And yelling around him.” Ushijima felt like he was scolding him, but he didn't care. He needed to hear this. “You frightened him, no matter your intentions. That is not going to help anything.” It felt a bit harsh, but Daichi needed to hear it. Taking care of Hinata wasn’t simple; it wasn’t to be taken lightly. This wouldn’t be easy for any of them.

Daichi set the bag down and nodded, “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. I was just… I panicked.”

“I understand that, but if you are to continue caring for him, you cannot—”

“It wasn’t Daichi’s fault.”

Ushijima turned around and was face to face with Hinata again. Sugawara was close behind, one arm hovering near for support, but Ushijima’s focus was solely on Hinata. He could see that the young man was in pain, but there was a new determination behind his eyes.

“It’s not his fault.” Hinata stated, “I didn’t want to bother him, and I figured I could make something myself. I just… couldn’t reach the bowls.”

From behind him, Sugawara’s expression softened, “Hinata…”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” He hesitated a moment, “Just… let me stay for a few days, till I get my strength back, then I’ll go to a hotel. I have a little money. And I can get a job.”

Ushijima squinted slightly. A job? No. No he could barely move around the apartment, how could he expect to work at a job?

“It’s going to take more than a few days until you’re well enough to work again.” Sugawara thankfully pointed out. “You need to take some time to heal, Hinata.”

Hinata shook his head. “I don’t. I’m fine.”

He wasn’t. He wouldn’t be for a long time, and Ushijima knew it. He was determined, but it would still take work.

“Why don’t we go sit down?” Sugawara suggested, his hand lightly grazing Hinata’s arm. “I’ll order some dinner for us. Maybe fried chicken? Would that be okay?”

Hinata nodded slightly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Sugawara swallowed the last bite of his chicken and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Can I ask what you were doing before? You’re so young.”

“I was in college.” Hinata answered, his gaze on his still full plate. “I… had to drop out though. Terushima, uh, my ex, he didn’t… he was really controlling.”

Ushijima nodded slightly. That wasn’t surprising to hear, though it didn’t make it any less hard.

“How much did you finish?” Daichi asked.

“Two years.” Hinata answered quietly.

“Two years is a start.” Suga smiled encouragingly, “That means you only have two to go. Would you want to go back?”

Hinata shrugged, “Maybe… I’m not sure.” He looked uneasy with the conversation, though that might have been because he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. It was clear that he hadn’t been able to make any of his own choices for a long time, and now, he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted. That, while wonderful, was also incredibly overwhelming.

“Hinata,” He said, and Hinata looked at him. “You don’t have to decide anything now. Sugawara, Daichi and I will make sure you’re taken care of until you decide.”

“You... you don’t have to do that for me.” His cheeks were flushed with soft pink, and Ushijima wouldn’t admit it but he liked the look of it. “I can take care of myself.”

Ushijima knew that. He knew that Hinata was strong. He had survived years of abuse and neglect, and the last thing he wanted to do was to make Hinata feel as if he was incapable of anything.

But he also knew that needing help, however much or little, wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

“We know.” Sugawara said before he could. “But right now, you don’t have to.”

Hinata still seemed hesitant, and he wouldn’t meet any of their eyes. His cheeks were red, and his hands were shaking. Ushijima leaned a bit closer, and then he heard that unmistakable sniffle.

His body moved before he could think about it, hand lifting to Hinata’s shoulder. He flinched, but seemed to relax quickly enough. Hinata looked up at him and wiped at his eyes, at the tears that were falling down his rosy cheeks.

“Sorry…” He mumbled, “sorry…”

Ushijima felt his chest ache and tighten, and he gently squeezed Hinata’s shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Hinata nodded, but the tears kept falling, and he tried to wipe each one away. Ushijima slowly pulled his hand away, but stopped when Hinata’s hand grabbed it. He stared at their hands, frozen.

“Thank you…all… f-for everything.” Hinata’s voice cracked beneath the tears, but the words were clear.

Ushijima slowly, hesitantly, squeezed Hinata’s hand.

Chapter Text

Hinata

Over the past two weeks Hinata has grown more accustomed to life at the Sugawara/Sawamura home. With Sugawara working most days, Hinata was left alone with Daichi. The man kept himself busy, working from his home office diligently. Though he made sure to check on Hinata more often throughout the day. No one wanted a repeat of that first day.

Hinata had initially thought that being alone in the house with Daichi would be more unsettling. Daichi was big and stern looking; though he was anything but. He was kind and sweet, and Hinata could see why he fit so well with Suga. Not only that, but the home was comfortable, and honestly, Hinata didn’t want to leave it. Maybe it was because he was safe there. No one knew where he was. No one could find him there.

His head was less foggy since he didn’t need the strong pain meds anymore. He could see the bruises and cuts healing on his body. It was a slow process, and some would take more time, but his body was starting to look right again. And he was beginning to feel like himself again.

It was almost perfect.

Almost.

“So what do you think?” Suga asked with a mouthful of cereal.

Hinata blinked.

Shit. He hadn’t been listening. He meant to be, but his brain had other ideas so early in the morning. Zoning out at the worst possible times.

“What…?”

Suga laughed, “Geeze! Wake up, would ya?”

The sound of his new friend’s laughter brought out his own. “Sorry, sorry! Just tell me again?”

“I was asking if you wanted to come to the set with me and Toshi today?” Suga grinned from ear to ear. “It’ll be fun! We can get lunch after too!”

Hinata didn’t answer right away. And it wasn’t because the offer seemed like a bad one, it was only surprising. It was a crazy enough circumstance that he had met Sugawara Koushi, but actually going to a movie set and seeing him in action was a different story.

“Oh, uh… am I allowed to go?”

Suga nodded, “yeah. As long as you don’t run out onto the set in the middle of a shoot. You can just hang in the back with Toshi.”

Hang in the back with Toshi.

With Ushijima.

He tried to ignore the heat creeping up the back of his neck. He had only seen Ushijima when he picked Suga up and dropped him off; a brief fifteen minutes at most twice a day.

And he didn’t know exactly why, but he looked forward to it. Every morning and evening, he was excited to see Ushijima walk through the door. The thought of spending the entire day with him was… appealing, to say the least.

With all that aside, the idea of going out to a new place was a little frightening. Terushima kept him on a dangerously short leash. He had to take classes online rather than go to the school, he had to quit his job and find one closer to home. Though, like school, that hadn’t lasted long; and after everything that happened, Hinata had only been to the hospital and Suga’s home.

But it was also exciting. It had been so long, but he remembered being adventurous, he remembered being brave. He thought he was, at one point at least.

“Sure.” He smiled, and it felt more genuine than it had in a long time. “I’d like that.”

The building was, like apparently everything in Suga’s life: massive. The lobby was crowded and busy but they pushed through quickly enough. And Hinata tried to ignore the strong hand resting across his back, guiding him through a pair of large glass doors.

“So this is the place,” Sugawara waved a hand around and smiled proudly at him. “It’s a bit busy right now because we’re nearing the end of filming so everyone’s trying to get shit done.”

Hinata nodded like he understood, but in reality he couldn’t even imagine how much work went into making a movie like this.

Suga’s smile widened a little. Clearly he was excited. “I have to be in makeup in a few minutes, but if you want, I can show you around—”

“Suga!” A tall, slender man crossed the room, long legs eating up the distance quickly. “Suga, thank god you’re here. Bakayama is driving me crazy today.”

Suga peeked around his costar’s shoulder at a young man with short, dark hair. “He’s literally just reading the scripts, Oikawa.”

The man — Oikawa — tsked quietly, “he keeps asking me for pointers. Like I have time for that.”

Suga laughed and it brought a scowl to the other man’s face. “He looks up to you, Oikawa.” Suga put his hand on the man’s arm. “Don’t forget, this is his first big part. He’s bound to be a little nervous.”

Oikawa let out a sigh and slowly released Suga. “Fine, whatever.” His eyes lowered to Hinata, looking him up and down. “Oh! This must be the little baby duck you found in the street!”

Suga’s smile immediately fell. “Tooru!”

“It’s fine,” Hinata reassured him. He didn’t mind the joke — if that’s what it was. He had heard far worse. “I’m Hinata Shōyō.” He bowed, but his sore muscles made it stiff and painful.

There was a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Oikawa leaning toward him.

“No need to be so formal!” He smiled and Hinata took that as permission to straighten up. “I’m Oikawa Tooru.” The hand on his shoulder finally let go. “You look like you’re feeling better.”

Hinata felt a wide smile curling his lips, “I am. Suga’s been amazing.”

Oikawa grinned at Suga, “he is, isn’t he? An actual angel.”

Above him, Ushijima let out a quiet sigh and Oikawa’s caramel eyes darted up to him.

“Ushiwaka,” Oikawa leaned toward the bodyguard, his smile curling deviously. “Aren’t you even going to say hello?”

Ushijima looked down at the man and said quietly, “hello, Oikawa.”

“That’s better.” Oikawa chuckled, and Hinata was surprised by the sudden sting of jealousy he felt when Oikawa’s hand brushed Ushijima’s bicep. “We should get going. Got a long day ahead of us.” His hand fell away and instead moved to grab Suga’s.

“Yeah, okay.” Suga looked at Hinata, “make yourself at home. There’s food and drinks over there. If you need anything else, Toshi can take you.”

“See you later Chibi-Chan!” Oikawa waved and Hinata realized that he was talking to him.

He waved, but Suga was following his co-star down a hall and into another room. So Hinata returned his attention to the bodyguard beside him.

“You and Oikawa seem… close.”

Ushijima’s entire body turned toward him so quickly that Hinata almost missed it. “We are… we are not close.”

Hinata smiled to himself, “that’s not very convincing, Ushiwaka.”

The man beside him scowled at the nickname and Hinata wanted to laugh. He was usually grumpy-looking, but that annoyance was a new look. “Please don’t call me that.”

Hinata did laugh then, “you prefer Toshi?”

“I prefer my actual name.” Ushijima answered blankly.

Hinata looked him up and down for a moment. He was stiff and stressed. His frustration seemed genuine. “Okay, Ushijima it is then.” He conceded, and by the way Ushijima’s shoulders relaxed, Hinata knew he had chosen correctly.

Ushijima quietly cleared his throat. “About Oikawa… we have known each other for a long time. I apologize for his callous behavior.”

Hinata shrugged, “I don’t mind. He seems fun. Plus, I already got a nickname!”

“Chibi-Chan.” Ushijima repeated the name and for some reason, hearing it in the man’s deep voice made him blush. “I suppose it suits you.”

“It does not!” Hinata scoffed playfully. “I’m not that small!” Though he was, and he knew it. He had never been overly self conscious about his height. After all, it wasn’t something he could change. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t wish to at times.

Ushijima smiled slightly and lifted a large hand. Silently, he measured the difference in their height. It was at least a whole foot.

Hinata’s cheeks burned, but he laughed, “shut up, Ushiwaka!”

Ushijima chuckled quietly and the sound of it surprised Hinata. “Come on, we can sit over there.”

It took Hinata a moment to pull his gaze away from Ushijima, but he didn’t want to outwardly gawk at the man. So he quickly looked to where Ushijima was pointing and by the tables of food, there were chairs set up in rows. Seemingly for the cast and crew. He hesitated to take someone else’s place, but before he could refuse, Ushijima’s hand was on his shoulder. Guiding him to a seat.

He wasn’t hungry, and so they ignored the catering. But Hinata had to admit, it felt nice to sit down. Even after two weeks, his body was still tired and his stamina was much lower than where it had been.

Around them, the room was bustling. Camera men, assistants, the director — everyone was busy working and preparing for the shoot. Hinata watched everyone curiously, but no one seemed to notice or care. Ushijima relaxed beside him, clearly used to the chaos.

“Ushijima, who’s that?” He pointed to a man with wavy black hair and glasses.

“Akaashi Keiji.” Ushijima answered, “He is the author. He wrote the book that this movie is based on.”

“Oh, what!?” Hinata sat up a little, leaning forward to rest his arms on the back of the chair in front of him. “That’s so cool! He must be excited!”

Ushijima nodded, “I imagine so.”

Hinata watched as Akaashi spoke with someone wearing a black baseball cap. The man looked a little tense, and Akaashi didn’t seem happy either. “He looks really serious.”

“He is not.” Ushijima replied, and Hinata turned to look at him, “or… he is when he needs to be. But Akaashi is a kind man.”

It wasn’t that Hinata didn’t believe Ushijima, because he did. Or at least, he wanted to. But Akaashi, and a few others looked annoyed and stressed. They were clearly busy, trying to get everything done and ready and perfect. And he didn’t want his presence to make anything worse. Even Ushijima was stuck with him all day.

Earlier, he hadn’t given the invitation much thought. Suga seemed so happy about it, but… was it really okay? He hated the idea that he was getting in the way or making things harder for them.

No.

No, that was Terushima talking. Suga had promised that it wasn’t any trouble helping him out, and Hinata chose to believe that.

“If something is bothering you, you can tell me.” Ushijima said suddenly.

Hinata flinched. What the hell? It was like Ushijima could read his mind! He looked up, meeting the bodyguard’s stern hazel stare. Ushijima’s concern was genuine. Despite his stoic expression, his eyes gave it away.

Quickly, Hinata put on his most sweet and convincing smile. “I’m fine. Promise.”

Ushijima

He could see that Hinata was uneasy despite how much he tried to hide it. Ushijima was good at reading people, but Hinata made it easy. Still, he didn’t want to push. So he allowed the comfortable silence to settle over them and followed Hinata’s stare. He was watching the staff. The room around them was bustling; everyone working quickly and smoothly to get things ready for the shoot.

He seemed to only perk up once Sugawara and the other actors walked onto set, clearly eager to see his new friend act.

Hinata was quiet through it all, but he seemed a little less agitated than earlier. The plot and the scene had captured his attention, holding it tight until each time they heard the director yell “cut!”, and he gave Ushijima a wide smile. Instantly spouting off about how awesome and talented Sugawara was, and how Oikawa played such a great villain.

Both of which they could agree on.

This carried on for the next few hours, and while Ushijima was used to the sitting and waiting, he worried that Hinata might be getting bored. But when he glanced over at the redhead, he was staring at his phone with a look of deep concentration.

He should leave him alone. He knew that. But curiosity was getting the better of him lately.

“What are you doing?”

Hinata flinched and clutched the phone to his chest. “Nothing!”

Well, it was clearly not nothing. However Ushijima chose to ignore his growing curiosity out of respect for the other man's privacy. “You do not have to show me if you do not want to. I was only curious.”

That seemed to give Hinata pause. The young man slowly pulled his phone away and looked at the screen. He hesitated for another moment and then held out his phone.

Carefully, Ushijima took it. On the screen was the website for the local university, specifically the list of majors.

“I was… just thinking about going back to school.” Hinata’s voice was quieter and weaker than Ushijima liked. “I’m not sure though…”

So he was thinking about it. That was good, that was smart. He was beginning to move forward with his life. Ushijima hadn’t expected it so soon; the conversation about school seemed to stress Hinata out. And he knew how easily a reaction, either negative or positive, could influence someone in his state. Ushijima wanted to say the right thing. He wanted to encourage the idea, but he didn’t want to pressure Hinata either. He went back and forth for a few moments, trying to decide. However, in that time he was silent, and that silence probably wasn’t helping to ease any of Hinata’s anxiety.

“What… what was your major before?” He managed to finally ask.

Hinata looked surprised at the question. Ushijima had been correct; Hinata was expecting something else, maybe even some backlash.

“Marketing and communications.” He answered quietly, “but I didn’t really enjoy it. It just seemed like the smart choice, you know?”

Ushijima nodded. He did know. Before his current career, his mother had pushed him to pursue a business degree in order to take over her company. A path that he agreed to initially, but didn’t want. It took a long time to find the right fit for himself, but it was worth it. He was happy with his choices, happy with his life. And he wanted the same for Hinata.

“If you could do anything, what would it be?”

Hinata unexpectedly smiled at the question. “I’d be a baker.”

Ushijima blinked, surprised by that answer. But, for a moment, he imagined it. He imagined Hinata hurrying around a kitchen, decorating cupcakes or molding decadent chocolates. Perhaps even working with Satori. The two would make an interesting team.

“I used to bake a lot at home and with T—” He stopped, the smile falling at the edges. “With him. But he… it got hard. So I stopped.” He looked down at his hands, fingertips fidgeting with his sleeves. “But I always loved baking! I made all of my little sister’s birthday cakes when we were younger! My mom taught me a lot. We’d bake for holidays or just because.” His words slowed and he let out a quiet sigh, the smile softening. “Man, I loved it.”

Ushijima smiled softly. It was obvious how much Hinata enjoyed baking and how much he missed it. “If it’s something you enjoy, then you should go for that.”

“There’s no way I’d get a job.” Hinata laughed it off, but Ushijima could hear the pain behind his words. “I’ll probably just finish up my marketing course. I’m already halfway there.”

He was settling for the easier choice, as so many people did. It wasn’t a bad choice per say, but it was the wrong one. Ushijima wasn’t stupid enough to think that everyone has the ability to follow their dreams and not worry about stability. However, Hinata wasn’t one of them. He had people around him willing to help and support him. He had suffered and settled enough in his life. This shouldn’t be the same.

“I’m sure there is a way.” He started, still trying to reel in his thoughts. “Actually, I have—”

“Chibi-Chan!” Oikawa’s sing-song voice carried across the room loudly, and Ushijima felt himself flinch. It only took Oikawa a few seconds to reach them; those long legs were good for something. “You’re still here! Are you enjoying the show?”

Hinata lit up a little, “yeah! It’s really cool! You guys are awesome!”

“Aw, thanks!” There was a split second of genuine gratitude in Oikawa’s face, and if Ushijima had blinked, he would have missed it. Oikawa plopped down in the chair beside Hinata. “Ushiwaka isn’t boring you over here, is he?”

“No,” Hinata looked at him and smiled. Ushijima tried to ignore the way his heart skipped. “He’s not. I like talking to him.”

Oikawa scoffed and rolled his head to face Ushijima; he nearly shivered at the ice in that stare. “Interesting.”

“Be nice, Oikawa.” Sugawara joined them, water bottle in hand. “I don’t bring Ushijima here just so you can harass him.”

“But it’s so fun!” Oikawa practically whined.

“You’re ridiculous.” Sugawara groaned, then turned to Hinata. “How are you doing?”

“I’m great!” Hinata answered. “It’s been really cool to see everything!”

“Good, I’m glad.” Sugawara smiled, but quickly glanced his way and quirked an eyebrow at him. Ushijima simply nodded, informing Sugawara that Hinata was telling the truth.

“Suga! Is this him?” One of Sugawara’s costars made his way over to them, followed by two others. One looked more excited than the other.

Sugawara nodded, “yeah. Hinata, this is Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kageyama Tobio and Haiba Alisa. And you already know Oikawa.” He grinned at the dramatic man beside Hinata, who only flipped his hair in response.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Hinata beamed.

Ushijima kept himself back, allowing the others to talk freely with Hinata. Content to watch rather than join in. Unlike Hinata.

He had expected the young man to be more hesitant with new people, but Hinata was the opposite. He was bright and cheery; talking and laughing with the group as if they were old friends after only a few minutes. It became clear that this was his nature. That the quiet, terrified, broken man they had found on the street was not his true self.

Hinata was made for people. Made to be around them, to be loved by them.

And he was so incredibly easy to love.

“Alright! We’re gonna run it through again!” The director called, effectively ending any other conversation. The four new friends departed, shouting goodbyes as they quickly returned to the set before the director had to ask a second time.

Sugawara slowly stood up, “back to it.” He chuckled, “we’ll grab some dinner on the way home. So think about what you want to eat!” He ruffled Hinata’s hair, then ran back to the set.

Then, they were alone again and Ushijima was relieved. He didn’t shine in social situations and preferred to be one on one with Hinata.

“So,” Hinata turned in his chair, “about school…”

“You should not choose a path because it will make someone else happy. Just because you started with one degree does not mean that you cannot change it.” The words poured out of him before he could stop it. “You should choose the one that you want. If you want to be a baker, then you should be. You should not have to settle for anything that does not make you happy.”

When he looked at Hinata he froze. The young man looked shocked, and rightfully so.

“I-I apologize.” Was all Ushijima said before he pressed his lips together in a tight line, forcing himself to keep quiet. To his luck, Hinata’s shock turned into a smile. Soft and small, and a little sad.

“It’s okay.” He sighed, “I understand, and you make a good point. But I have to be realistic, you know?” Hinata leaned against the chair in front of him, his bright hair falling over his forehead. “I can’t stay with Suga and Daichi forever.”

Ushijima froze. There was the sudden realization that, no, he wouldn’t be staying with Sugawara and Daichi forever. He would leave eventually. He would go home, or get his own place. He would move on from them.

A heavy ache swelled in his chest at the thought of a life without Hinata in it. It had only been a short time since he had entered their lives. Less than a month. But the thought of going a day without Hinata’s bright smile or infectious laugh, without his kind heart, without his beautiful eyes or his ridiculous morning bedhead — Ushijima let out a quiet breath.

He had no right to want Hinata the way he did. He had no right, nor would he ever dream of forcing him to stay. Hinata was free to make his own decisions, for the first time in a long time, and Ushijima was not going to ruin that for him.

“You should be a baker.” It was only a suggestion, his true opinion on the matter. Hinata should follow his dreams, even if that took him far away from them.

Hinata smiled again, the same small, sad smile. “I’ll think about it.”

Chapter Text

Hinata

The last two days had been the same. He woke up, ate breakfast, and went to work with Suga. Which really was just more time spent with Ushijima. They would talk. Or, well, he would talk and Ushijima would listen. It didn’t seem like he was bothering the bodyguard, but Hinata didn’t think that Ushijima would actually tell him even if he was. He was too nice.

The subject of school hadn’t come up again. Hinata didn’t want to argue with him about it. Like he promised, he had thought about it. About taking culinary classes instead; but he couldn’t bring himself to actually do it. It would be better to finish his degree, get a job and get out of their hair.

But, no matter how hard he tried to, Hinata couldn’t get it out of his head. That indiscernible expression on Ushijima’s face when they had talked about him becoming a baker.

Did Ushijima really want him to be a baker so badly? Why should it matter to him what he does? Maybe, after everything, he was just invested in him. Curious to see how he would end up. If all their hard work would actually pay off.

Hinata huffed quietly and shifted himself on the pillows. Suga had given him far too many in an effort to make sure that he was completely supported, and informed him after their meal that he was to ‘lay down and relax’ while they cleaned everything up.

Honestly, he was a little relieved. He was more tired than he thought he would be after going out the last few days, and he let his tired eyes close.

He woke up to find that Suga had joined him. The man leaned back against the many pillows with a thick book in his hands. Hinata checked the time on his phone, only a few minutes had passed, but something else had gotten his attention. He had a new text message.

Hesitantly, he opened it.

 From: Mom

"Hi Shōyō! Natsu brought home a melon cake! I know how much you love those. We should have one when you come home! I hope you had a good day! We love & miss you! - mom”

Hinata stared at the contact on his phone and his mother’s phone number stared back. He had texted her once, two days ago; letting her know that his phone had broken and he had a new one, but he had avoided anything more than that. She, on the other hand, had sent him multiple little tidbits from her day. What they had for breakfast, something funny that Natsu said, anything really. It was so obvious how badly she wanted him to respond; she had given him so many chances. But he was still scared.

“Hey Suga?”

The man looked up from his book, “Hm?”

Hinata chewed on his lip nervously, “I think I want to call my mom.”

Suga’s eyes widened a little, and Hinata felt a twinge of regret in his stomach. “Oh… okay, sure.” Suga’s voice was just as gentle and even as it usually was. “Do you have her number?”

Hinata nodded, “Yeah.”

Suga smiled, “Then I think you should do it.”

It was obvious that Suga was trying to contain his feelings. Hinata knew that Suga would want him to contact his family; he had asked about it a few times, and each time, Hinata had shut him down. But he was feeling better. He was healing. And he wanted them to know that he was okay.

But it had been so long since he talked to them.

“Do you…” He hesitated, the fear twisting and gnawing at his gut, “do you think she’ll be angry?”

Suga set his book down then. “No. No I don’t. I think she’ll be really happy to hear from you.” He scooted a little closer, “I’m sure she misses you.”

Hinata nodded and looked at the text again. We love & miss you!

“Yeah. She’s… she’s a really good mom.”

Suga’s hand came to rest on his arm and Hinata felt himself relax a little more. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

“No,” Hinata grabbed his hand before he could pull it away. Suga stopped moving almost instantly, frozen in his spot, waiting for Hinata to explain. “I mean…” Slowly, he released Suga’s hand. “You can stay. I think… I want you to stay.” He did want it; the thought of doing this alone was nearly paralyzing. And to his relief, Suga settled back onto the couch beside him.

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

Hinata nodded curtly and quickly opened the video chat, hoping to make the call before he had a chance to talk himself out of it. He watched as it rang, and rang, taking a slow and shaky breath. For a moment, he thought she might not answer; and he honestly couldn’t tell whether he was relieved or disappointed. But then the call connected, the video opened and he was greeted by his mother’s warm smile.

“My baby!” The joy in her voice halted suddenly and Hinata watched as the smile fell. “Shōyō, Shōyō your face… What happened? You’re hurt!”

He tried not to grimace or hide, because she had already seen it. The swelling and bruising had gone down significantly, but the discolored skin and cuts were still plenty visible. “I’m okay, mom.” He tried to make it sound convincing, but he knew it wasn’t. “I just… it’s a long story.”

“Does it have to do with Terushima?” His mother asked.

Hinata’s eyes went wide. “What…? H-how—”

“He’s been calling non stop!” She answered, looking over at something off the screen and then his father came into view beside her. “He said that you left and he couldn’t find you. Shōyō, your father and I were so worried! What happened—” There was a beat of silence and Hinata could see the realization on her face. “Terushima… did he do this to you? Shōyō, did he hurt you?”

Hinata could feel his throat tightening and the warm sting of tears in his eyes. “Yeah…” His voice was barely above a whisper. Shaking and weak. “H-He did… he has been… for the past two years.”

“What?” His mother’s voice caught in her throat, and Hinata could see tears in her eyes. His father’s arm encircled her shoulders, drawing her in for comfort. “What do you mean? He’s been… abusing you this entire time?”

Hinata nodded, feeling Suga squeeze his hand, and swallowed back the lump in his throat. “Not at first… but yeah, he was. It was bad, mom. I-It was really bad.” He hated the expression on her face. Hated seeing how hurt and scared she was. And he hated the fact that it was his fault.

“What about now?” His father interjected quietly, “Where are you? Are you safe?”

Hinata looked at Suga and nodded. “Yeah, yeah I’m safe. I got some help… from some new friends. I-I’m okay. I promise.”

“Shōyō… baby… why didn’t you tell us?” His mother cried, “Two years… for two years? We could have helped you.”

“I-I know, mom.” Hinata tried to ignore the guilt in his chest. He should have gone to them for help a long time ago. He shouldn’t have let it be this bad. Beside him, Suga leaned closer, squeezing his hand again. Hinata relaxed a little at the warmth and comfort. “I just… I-I’ll tell you everything… just… it’s a lot.”

“Okay, Shō.” His father looked like he was bracing himself for the worst, and rightfully so. “Take your time. We’re here for you.”

The next hour or so went by in a haze. He explained everything. From the start of it, the first time Terushima hit him up until Suga found him. The injuries, both old and recent; how he dropped out of college and left his part time job, all because of Terushima. How he wasn’t allowed to call home or his friends. How strict Terushima was about everything. And he didn’t stop, he didn’t allow himself to because he knew that if he didn’t tell them now, then he never would.

He cried, his parents cried and even Suga cried. By the time they had hung up, Hinata was practically in the other man's lap, his head on Suga’s shoulder leaving tear stains on his white hoodie.

“You did so good, Hinata.” Suga whispered against his hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

It was easy to lean on Suga like this; he was paternal and loving and warm. Daichi too, but Suga seemed more apt to offer Hinata the type of comfort he sought. The physical affection; cuddling, holding hands, hugs… all the sweet, loving touches he never got from Terushima. Platonic or romantic. It didn’t matter, so long as he had it.

“There’s… one more person I want to call.” He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes a moment as Suga brushed his fingers through his hair. “My friend… we kind of lost contact a while ago… after I moved in with Terushima.”

Suga nodded and squeezed him gently. “Are you sure you’re up for another phone call? You don’t have to do all of this tonight, Hinata.”

Hinata looked down at the phone screen, hesitating again. Honestly, he didn’t know if he was up for it. He was exhausted and his eyes were burning and puffy. “Yeah… I know.” He said finally, “But if I don’t do it now, I’ll keep talking myself out of it.”

The phone rang once, twice, then a third time, and Hinata thought that Kenma might not answer. But before it could ring again he heard the soft click and a grumpy, “who is this…?”

Hinata’s voice caught in his throat at first, making his first words shaky and uneven. “Uh… it’s me… Hinata.” “I-I know it’s late… but I just—”

“Shōyō?!” Kenma nearly shouted. “Shōyō! Where are you? What happened to you?”

Hinata blinked away the tears that were already in his eyes. “I-I… I’m sorry.” He ignored Suga’s stare when he apologized, already knowing what the man would say. “I was… with Terushima. But we… we broke up. He… he–”

“What did he do to you?”

Hinata froze.

Kenma knew? Who was he kidding… Of course he knew. Kenma was one of the most perceptive people he’s ever met. Even before, when Terushima was nice, Kenma never seemed to like him.

The tears started to fall, but he quickly wiped them away. He had to get through this phone call without becoming a mess again. “It was… it was bad, really bad.” His voice was watery and thick behind the tears. “I-I ended up in the hospital… Suga and Daichi, the couple I’m staying with, helped me. I’m okay now.”

“Okay…” Kenma huffed quietly. Hinata heard a door slam against a wall. “Kuroo, get up! No, get your ass up!”

Hinata smiled slightly at the grumbling he heard from Kuroo, no doubt sleeping peacefully in his bed. He could picture the older man’s ridiculous bedhead and Kenma’s angry pout when he refused to do as he was told.

He missed them.

“Shōyō, where are you?” Kenma’s voice returned and Hinata paused. He couldn’t be thinking of going there… right?

“I’m fine now, Kenma. I’m safe.” Hinata said, hoping to avoid the question, but Kenma wasn’t budging.

“Tell me where you are.”

Hinata looked at Suga and the man nodded. “Okay…” Hesitantly, he explained his living situation; how he was taken in by Suga and Daichi. How they paid for his hospital bills and refused to let him owe them. He explained the penthouse, the circumstances for the building and how he was safe. Completely safe.

Kenma was quiet as he talked, giving him the time he needed to get it all out. But the moment he finished, Kenma yelled into his apartment.

“Kuroo, get the car!”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “Kenma! I’m fine! You don’t have to come here!”

“Bullshit I don’t.” Kenma replied hastily. “I’m coming to see you. Now give me the address.”

Hinata sank into the couch beside Suga, defeated. Suga gingerly slid his arm around his and leaned closer. Hinata didn’t think that Suga and DAichi would be happy if Kenma and Kuroo just showed up. It was late, and Suga’s fame might cause some problems. Still, he knew that Kenma wasn’t going to let it go. He knew his friend needed to see him with his own eyes to make sure that he was okay.

He looked at Suga questioningly, and Suga only nodded. Hinata let out a heavy sigh. “Okay.”

Chapter Text

Ushijima

When he received Sugawara’s phone call, he was surprised to say the least. However he didn’t waste any time dwelling on it. He quickly got dressed, grabbed his keys and made his way through the snow and ice to meet the two friends of Hinata’s.

He wasn’t sure what to expect. He had no idea what Hinata’s friend’s would be like. He imagined they might be similar, but then, who really could be compared to Hinata? To his kind heart, his sense of humor, his breathtakingly beautiful smile. No. No one compared to him in the security guard’s eyes. No one even came close.

After handing his keys off to the valet, Ushijima made his way to the building’s entrance, finding a small crowd. The indomitable security guard looked exhausted, and rightfully so. It was just past ten at night and from what he could see, the two strangers beside him weren’t letting up.

“Sir, I understand, but this is kind of an emergency.” A tall man with wild dark hair was leaning casually against the wall beside the security guard. His posture relaxed and casual despite the fact that he was most likely trespassing. “We’re here to see a friend. He’s staying here.”

“Jesus Christ, Kuroo.” The smaller man nearly growled. He was wrapped in a puffy coat, the collar of it reaching his nose. All that stuck out was his blonde hair and angry golden eyes. “Sugawara told us to come. Let us in!”

“Our names should be somewhere, right?” The taller man continued after placing a hand on the smaller man’s shoulder. “Kuroo Tetsuro and Kozume Kenma? Ringing any bells?”

Wait a minute… Kuroo? Kenma? Yes, those were the names Sugawara had given him. The names of Hinata’s friends.

“Aone,” Ushijima called, and all three men looked over. “It’s alright, you may let them in. Sugawara notified me of the situation. These are friends of Hinata.”

With the mention of the redhead, the guard’s demeanor shifted. The stern expression softened into the slightest of smiles, and his posture relaxed. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone how quickly Hinata’s sunshiny qualities could affect even the most stoic of people.

“I see.” Was all he said as he stepped aside.

Ushijima nodded at him before focusing on their guests. “Kuroo Tetsuro and Kozume Kenma? May I see your IDs please.”

Thankfully, the man didn’t object, and handed him both his and Kenma’s ID cards. Ushijima compared the pictures to the men in front of him, double checking every detail. He was not willing to put Hinata at any more risk.

“That’s us,” the taller of the two smirked, golden eyes drifting over Ushijima’s frame. “I’m Kuroo, and this gem is Kenma.” He took the IDs back and tucked them into his wallet.

Ushijima bowed politely, “I am Ushijima Wakatoshi, personal security guard for Sugawara Koushi. And… Hinata Shōyō.”

It was nothing official, but like Daichi, Hinata came with Sugawara. And he had no intention of letting Hinata go without protection.

Kuroo’s eyes widened slightly, “wow, our little sunshine gets his own security detail.” He nudged Kenma’s arm lightly, but it seemed like the scowl was a permanent fixture on the young man’s face.

“Can we go in now?” He huffed, practically glaring at Ushijima, and Ushijima could only nod.

“Yes. I… will take you to see him now.”

Aone held the door for them and they all filed into the building. Ushijima wordlessly led them through the lobby and to the elevators. Once all three of them were inside, Ushijima swiped the card that allowed him access to the penthouse level, and the elevator doors closed.

He eyed the two men curiously. They did not seem similar to Hinata, especially the smaller one. He seemed somewhat… vicious. But that could simply be the way he was watching him. Golden, cat-like eyes narrowed and focused. Ushijima tensed beneath the stare; it was like the young man was picking him apart bit by bit, analyzing every little thing.

It was unsettling. And he was beyond grateful when Kuroo broke the silence.

“So, how bad was it?”

Beside him, Kenma shot him a look, but he seemed unfazed.

“I’m curious, Kitten! Hinata didn’t share much over the phone, and you rushed us here.”

Ushijima watched them. The few seconds they spent bickering gave him some time to consider how much he was willing to tell them. It wasn’t his information to share. However, he did not want his friends to take the situation too lightly. They should know the danger he was and may still possibly be in.

“Hinata’s injuries were extensive. There was bruising over 40% of his body, internal bleeding and his wrist had been fractured.” He did not mention the attempted rape kit, or the fact that Hinata was unconscious for two days, or that he was terrified to be alone with him. “Sugawara and I were lucky to find him when we did. The surgeon said that…” He hesitated, wondering briefly if it might be too much, but the way Kenma was watching him told him otherwise. “The surgeon said that if Hinata had been found a few hours later, he would have died.”

Silence crashed over the trio once more as the news sank in.

“Fuck.” Kuroo breathed out after a while. His hand lifted to card through his unruly hair, pushing it back from his face before letting it fall again. Ushijima could have sworn he saw a few tears forming in his tired eyes. “Hinata…”

Beside him, Kenma was quiet. Those eyes were no longer on him, but instead on the floor. Still narrowed, but glossy. He was trying not to cry. And so Ushijima turned away, giving the men their privacy. He, himself, had a hard time accepting everything that had happened to Hinata; he could only imagine how much harder it must have been for his friends.

The elevator doors opened and Ushijima led the guests into the hall. There was only one door – Sugawara’s – and he knocked twice before unlocking it. He stepped inside, holding it open for the others. Kenma pushed past him and crossed the threshold hurriedly. Hinata was standing at the end of the hall, looking small and scared.

Ushijima hated it.

“H-hey Kenma, Kuroo.” He smiled, but it was weak; and when Kenma reached out to embrace his friend, Hinata flinched.

For an instant, Ushijima wanted to tear down the hall and interject himself. To shield Hinata from the intruder, but a hand on his arm stopped him, firmly holding him in place. Daichi. He settled, shoulders relaxing just slightly, and turned to watch the trio again. Kenma had Hinata in a hug, but Hinata didn’t seem upset about it. He was holding his friend, his face hidden against his jacket.

Kuroo was beside them, his hand slid down the man’s back and back up, a comforting touch. “He was really worried about you, kid.”

Hinata pulled back just enough to look at him, “I know… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Kuroo said softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re just glad that you’re okay.”

Hinata smiled small, but despite being lackluster, it reached his eyes. The sight of it put Ushijma at ease; at least Hinata was happy with his friends there.

“So… can you tell us what happened?” Kuroo asked, “how long was he…” He stopped, no doubt because of the expression on Hinata’s face. The smile was gone, replaced with a quivering lip and glossy eyes. “Sorry! We don’t have to talk about it!”

Kenma squeezed Hinata again and turned, shielding him from Kuroo. “Ignore him. He’s an idiot.”

Hinata shook his head and reached up to quickly wipe at his eyes. “N-no it’s fine. I sort of figured that you would want to know about it… it‘s just hard.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo nodded slowly, “we get it, kid. You don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready. Or… ever. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re good and safe.”

It was a relief to see that Hinata’s friends seemed like decent people. The two didn’t seem all that similar to the red head, but it was obvious how much they cared for him.

“Why don’t we go sit down?” Sugawara suggested with a wave of his hand, silently directing the crowd out of the hall and toward the living room.

Hinata

He followed Suga into the living room, where there was more than enough room for everyone. And yet, Kenma was glued to his side. Kuroo joined them on the couch, giving them some space, while the others filtered in around them.

They talked, but mostly about each other. Kuroo was as friendly as ever, which helped Kenma to open up a little bit. Neither one of them pushed him to talk about Terushima, and he was relieved. It was obvious that they were curious, but they seemed to let it go. They knew more about his ex than Suga and Daichi did; they were there when they started dating, up until he cut contact. And judging from how quickly Kenma reacted on the phone, some part of them already knew about the abuse. Or at least suspected it. Maybe they could have helped him if he had just gotten the guts to say something before.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done, but Kuroo and I will take it from here,” Kenma nodded at Hinata, “Shōyō will come stay with us.”

Suga’s eyes widened. “What?”

“There’s no reason for you to keep him here if we can take him in.” Kenma continued dryly. “He’ll be more comfortable with us.”

Something akin to offense flashed across Suga’s face. “I… suppose.” Hinata hated the hurt in Suga’s eyes. “But he’s still healing. Moving him out, making him adjust to yet another place might not be the best idea.”

“He adjusted to you, and he doesn’t know you.” Kenma replied rather harshly. “It would be better if he came with us.”

Suga looked angry, but if he was, he held it back. The only evidence was the slight bitterness in his tone. “I disagree.”

Hinata grimaced.

Why were they arguing about it? It wasn’t their decision to make – was it? He stayed with Suga initially because he was too injured to be on his own. Still, he genuinely liked it there; he liked Suga and Daichi. They were good people. Ushijma too. He didn’t want to leave and never see them again, even if that meant going home with Kenma.

Their apartment was smaller, though not by much. Kenma had money, but he wasn’t on the same level of stardom as Suga. There was space for him, yes, but he didn’t want to bother anyone more than he already had.

“Actually Kenma, it might be better for him to stay here.” Kuroo suggested gently.

Kenma looked at him, utterly betrayed, “what the hell—”

“Think about it.” Kuroo started before Kenma could finish yelling at him. “Terushima knows us. He knows where we live.” He lightly brushed a stray lock of blonde tipped hair behind Kenma’s ear; Kenma looked annoyed but didn’t pull away from the touch. “He might come by looking for Hinata. If he stays here, there’s no way for Terushima to find him. Sugawara-san’s the last person he’d expect our little Shōyō to be with.” He smiled at Suga, earning one in return. “Plus, did you see that lobby? All the security? There’s no way he could get in here. Not to mention this guy!” He slapped Ushijima’s arm lightly. “No one would even think about touching our little Shōyō with him around.”

Hinata watched Kenma’s face carefully. His usual apathetic expression was angry, but now was a sort of concentrated frustration. He was considering it. Considering all the possibilities for the best outcome.

“Apologies,” Ushijima said suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention. “But It is not up to you.” He nodded toward him, “Hinata should decide.”

That surprised him. Though it shouldn’t have. It was like Ushijma could read his mind, or maybe he really was just that easy to figure out. Either way, he was right. It was his decision.

But what was the right one?

Kenma or Suga?

Daichi or Kuroo?

Ushijima or…

He looked up at the group and immediately regretted it. All eyes were on him. Expectant and impatient. All wanting to know his choice. Kenma looked the most aggravated by it, but he didn’t try to argue with Ushijima.

“Do… do I have to decide right now?”

Kenma looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, Suga interjected.

“Of course not! Nothing has to be decided tonight or even tomorrow.” He smiled reassuringly, and Hinata relaxed a little. At least he wasn’t angry; but that left Kenma. Hesitantly, Hinata turned to his oldest friend and Kenma met him with an annoyed expression.

He sighed, “fine.”

Hinata started to fully relax.

“But we’re staying the night,” Kenma added definitively.

Mortified, his shoulders tensed up again. He looked at Suga, who was rubbing his temple roughly. Clearly he was annoyed with Kenma, and it felt like his fault. No, it was his fault. Kenma wouldn’t even be here acting like this if it wasn’t for him.

“Kenma!” He groaned quietly, shooting Suga an apologetic look.

Kuroo sighed beside him, “Kitten, you can’t just invite yourself to spend the night at someone’s house.” He was trying, but Hinata knew how determined Kenma could be when he put his mind to something. It was rare, except when it came to his friends.

“It’s fine.” Suga spoke up with his own quiet sigh, “seriously. It’s late anyway, and it's snowing. So I’d rather you sleep here than drive home right now. You too, Toshi.”

Kenma gave Kuroo a brief I told you so smile before settling in at Hinata’s side again. Hinata leaned against him, still mildly mortified at the situation.

At least it was settled.

“How fun, a good old fashioned slumber party.” Kuroo mused with a tired smile. “Daichi, was it?”

The brunette nodded, “yeah.”

“I hope you have some whiskey in this place.” Kuroo smiled and to Hinata’s relief, Daichi chuckled.

“I do. Come on.” The two disappeared into his office, reappearing a few moments later with two expensive looking bottles and a handful of glasses.

It was surreal; witnessing his oldest friends meeting his newest. Kuroo, Daichi and Suga were hitting it off; talking about their shared interests. Which so far, from what he could hear, were volleyball, whiskey, and expensive meats. However, Kenma hadn’t left his side all evening. And Ushijima? He was sitting on the edge of the couch, opposite from where they were, quietly watching everything unfold. Every once in a while Hinata caught him watching him, or Kenma, but he couldn’t even guess what he was thinking.

“Oh, shit. Is it that late already?” He heard Daichi say. “Koushi, we should probably get to bed. Hinata too. He needs his rest.”

Suga looked at the clock and nodded, “yeah, you’re right. Ushijima, you can take your usual room.” He motioned toward the hall.

Hinata knew from his exploring what was down there. The penthouse had five bedrooms; one master suite for Suga and Daichi, one that had been converted into an office, leaving three guest rooms. All furnished with matching fineries. Hinata’s room was on the same side of the home as Suga and Daichi’s, while the other two were separated down another hall. “

“Do you mind showing Kuroo and Kenma to theirs?” Suga continued and Ushijima nodded.

“Not at all.” Ushijima stood up. “Kuroo-San, Kozume-San, I will show you to the guest room.”

While Kuroo set his glass down in the sink and wandered over, Kenma was on Hinata’s arm, clinging to him with no sign of letting go.

“I’m sleeping with Shōyō.”

Suga looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t have the chance before Kuroo chimed in.

“Kitten, Hinata needs his rest. It would probably be uncomfortable if he had to share a bed. Even with you.”

Still, Kenma didn’t let go.

“I don’t mind!” Hinata said quickly, “honestly. I’ve missed you guys so much! It’s really okay! Plus the bed is — you’ll see — it’s huge! There’s plenty of space for us both!”

Suga hesitated, “Are you sure?”

He nodded, “Yep! I’m sure!”

“Okay.” Suga still didn’t seem convinced, but Hinata wasn’t going to change his mind. “If you need anything, come get me, okay?”

Again, he nodded, still fighting to keep the smile firm on his face. “I promise, Suga.” He managed to shimmy out of Kenma’s hold long enough to give Suga a quick hug. Suga held him gently and let him go without hesitation when Hinata stepped back. Everyone said their goodnights, and once they were finished, Hinata quickly led Kenma down the small hallway to his room.

He opened the door and strode inside, spinning on his heels to watch Kenma. “Here we are! This is my room!”

The bedroom was still decorated the way Suga had made it; the same soft, cozy color palette as the rest of the apartment. And, aside from the few important trinkets Hinata had stuffed in his backpack before leaving Terushima’s place, everything in it was brand new. Hinata hadn’t put much effort into redecorating, even though Suga had offered (multiple times) to take him shopping and let him pick out anything he wanted. And each time, he refused. He wasn’t sure how long he would be there, so he didn’t want to change anything.

“What do you think?”

Kenma scanned the room quietly.

“It doesn’t seem like you.”

“Well, that’s ‘cause Suga decorated it. I didn’t have anything when I came here except my backpack.” He shrugged, then waved his good hand toward his legs. “Suga had to buy me clothes, so I didn’t want to make him redecorate a whole room. Plus, I like it. It's cozy, you know?”

“I suppose.” Kenma conceded before sitting on the edge of the bed, His eyes widened slightly and Hinata laughed.

“See? It’s so comfy!” He announced proudly, “just wait till you try the pillows! I’m gonna grab some water. Do you want any?” Hinata moved toward the door and Kenma immediately stood up.

“I can get it for you.”

“No!” Hinata gently guided him back toward the bed. “Seriously, I can get my own water! Just pick a side to sleep on. I’ll be right back.” He darted out of the room before Kenma could stop him again.

It was dark in the apartment, but he could hear Suga and Daichi talking upstairs, and the light to Kuroo’s room was still on. They were awake, but he still tried to move as quietly as he could. The kitchen had been slightly reorganized since the debacle on that first day. Dishes were now stored on the lower shelves, because according to Suga ‘if he ever climbed up on the counter again to get a fucking bowl, he would quit his job and stay home to babysit him.’

Hinata smiled at the memory and grabbed a light green water bottle from the shelf before moving to the fridge to fill it.

“Hinata.”

His head whipped around at the voice, and he grinned. “Toshi! I thought you went to bed.”

“I am on my way there,” Ushijima replied as monotonous as ever, “do you need anything?”

Hinata shook his head and proudly held up the now full water bottle. “I’m good! I can actually reach these.” He forced a laugh, trying to ignore the embarrassment of that first day. To his surprise, Ushijima smiled.

“Good,” he said softly.

Hinata felt his face heat up. He really, really liked Ushijima’s smile. It was warm and gentle and made his hazel eyes sparkle just enough to bring out the specs of green even in the dimmed apartment lighting. And it was so rare that it felt like a treat every time he got to see it.

“Well… I should get to bed!” He stammered, “Kenma’s probably waiting, and you should sleep too!” Anxiously, he twisted the water bottle in his hands. “Goodnight, Toshi!” He tried to skirt around the man but was stopped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Hinata,” Ushijima towered over him, but it wasn’t intimidating or scary. Nothing about Ushijima was scary anymore. Even then, when his hand practically dwarfed his shoulder. “This… this was a lot for one evening. Are you doing alright?”

Instantly, Hinata wanted to tell him no. That it was a lot, that it might be too much. That he was getting overwhelmed and embarrassed; that he wanted to just go to sleep and be alone. But, it wasn’t all bad. He was happy, so happy to see Kuroo and Kenma again after such a long time. He loved them, and he was grateful for them. Although, it was an awkward encounter – it always was when old friends met new ones – but it was made all the worse by his current circumstances.

“I’m fine. Promise.” A lie, and Ushijma didn’t seem convinced.

The hand on his shoulder moved, finding his hand instead. Two large fingers brushed along the outside of his so softly he almost missed it. “You know you can come talk to me if it becomes too overwhelming. I am aware that you have Kozume-San and Kuroo-San now, but I am also here for you.”

Without thinking, Hinata grabbed his hand and held it. He had Kenma and Kuroo, and even his mom now. But he also had Suga, Daichi and Ushijima; he had so many people to rely on, it was starting to feel like a dream that he would wake up from, only to still be in that dingy apartment with his ex.

“I know.” He squeezed Ushijima’s hand, reminding himself that yes, this was real. He was real. “Thank you.” He smiled up at him, and thought he saw the faintest blush on the tips of Ushijima’s ears. Before he could say anything more, there was a door opening and Hinata looked over to see Kenma stepping out of the room. No doubt he was coming to find him.

Quickly, he pulled his hand back and started toward his friend. “Goodnight, Toshi!” He looked over his shoulder to see Ushijima staring at his palm. His expression, as always, was unreadable. He sped up, reaching Kenma and rushing past him into the bedroom. Kenma followed slowly.

“Did you get your water?”

Hinata held up the bottle in answer, “yep.” It was painfully obvious from his friend’s tone that he saw him and Ushijima holding hands. Which arguably meant nothing. It was nothing. Ushijima was being a good friend, that’s all. Thankfully, Kenma didn’t bring it up. And Hinata sure as hell wasn’t going to. Instead, he set the water bottle on the bedside table and flopped onto the bed, ignoring the twinge in his wrist when he landed.

“Don’t move around recklessly.” Kenma stood beside the bed, wrapping himself in the large hoodie that Kuroo had gifted him. “You’re still hurt.”

“I’m fine!” Hinata laughed and waved his casted arm around. “See? I don’t even need the heavy duty pain meds anymore! Which is so nice. Those things made me really loopy and dizzy. Do not recommend.” He laughed weakly, “but they did their job, so there’s that. You ready for bed? Or do you need to brush your teeth? There’s probably some extra stuff in the bathroom…” He stopped, finally looking up to see the tears rolling down Kenma’s cheeks. Quickly, he sat up, “Kenma?”

The blonde wiped at his eyes roughly, letting out a quiet groan. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I-I didn’t do anything! F-for two fucking years! I knew he wasn’t a good guy… I just didn’t think that h-he was…”

Hinata grabbed his friend and pulled him into a tight hug. It only took a few seconds for Kenma to return it, still gentle and careful despite Hinata’s healed injuries. “Even if you had tried to do something, I probably wouldn’t have listened.” Hinata admitted softly. “I was convinced that I loved him. That I couldn’t leave… It's not your fault, Kenma. It’s mine.”

“No.” Kenma snapped, suddenly pulling back just enough to glower down at Hinata. “Stop apologizing. None of this was your fault, okay? None of it! It’s his fault. It’s Terushima’s fault.” He leaned into the embrace again. “I swear… if I ever see that fucker again I’ll kill him.”

Hinata couldn’t help but smile, and buried his face against Kenma’s shoulder. “I love you, Kenma.”

He felt Kenma tense up in his arms like he always used to whenever Hinata (or anyone really) showed him any deep affection. And Hinata certainly didn’t expect the nearly inaudible reply that Kenma gave.

“...I love you too.”

He wanted to scream; wanted to squeeze Kenma and never let him go – but he knew better than to draw too much attention to it. So instead, he kept holding tight to Kenma for a few more moments before letting him go.

The two eventually made their way under the covers, and it was surprisingly easy to fall asleep beside Kenma. The familiarity his friend brought, even after so long, was a comfort, and Hinata slept through the night.

When he woke in the morning, it was to the light of Kenma’s Nintendo switch. Bright colors shifted in front of his squinted eyes. He squirmed, torn between wanting to get up and stretch his muscles or staying in the warmth beneath the blankets.

“You awake?” Kenma asked quietly.

Hinata mumbled, “yeah.”

Kenma pulled the headphones from his ears and tucked them into his pocket before saving and closing out of the game. “Sugawara came in a little while ago to check on you.”

Hinata could hear the annoyance in Kenma’s voice and smiled. “He’s probably making sure you didn’t kidnap me.”

Kenma scoffed, “I should have.”

Hinata stretched his arms up over his head, waiting for the satisfying pop, then rolled over and dropped his head onto Kenma’s lap. “I’m really fine here, Kenma. Suga and Daichi are amazing!”

Kenma reached up to brush through his hair with his fingers before tying it back in a low bun. He looked around the room again for a moment, then sighed. “I do have to admit that this place is really secure. It’s a relief to know that you’re in a safe place.”

Hinata nodded. The home was more than enough to keep him safe. “Plus, whenever I go anywhere, Toshi comes with me. And no one is going to mess with me when he’s around.” He grinned up at his friend but Kenma scowled at the mention of Ushijima.

“I don’t trust him.”

Hinata sat up, “what? Why? Toshi’s the nicest guy! And he’s crazy strong!”

“Yeah, he is,” Kenma replied harshly, and it took a second for Hinata to realize why.

His eyes went wide at the implication. “Kenma! He’s not like that! Toshi would never hurt me!”

“You didn’t think that Terushima would hurt you either.” Kenma snapped back.

Ouch.

Hinata swallowed, fighting back the lump forming in his throat. He could see it on Kenma’s face, the instant regret. He didn’t mean it to hurt, but regardless, it did. He has been so oblivious and trusting with Terushima in the beginning that he missed all the red flags.

“That’s not fair.” He mumbled.

“I…I know. I’m sorry…” Kenma rubbed at his face harshly. “That was a shitty thing to say. I’m just… I’m worried. We just got you back and I don’t want anything else to happen to you.”

Hinata breathed out a quiet sigh. He knew that was the truth; that Kenma was just worried. And he really didn't feel like dwelling on it anymore. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” Knowing that Kenma wouldn’t stop him (especially when he was hurt), Hinata cuddled up to his friend as close as he could. Kenma smiled slightly and only readjusted his position on the pillows to be more comfortable, but didn’t pull away. “Plus… It’s not like how it was with Terushima. Toshi doesn’t think of me like that. Romantically, I mean. He’s just doing his job.”

Kenma only hummed in reply and Hinata remembered the night before. Ushijima, in the kitchen, holding his hand.

But that wasn’t romantic hand holding. It was platonic. Totally platonic. Right? Hinata thought so. There wasn’t any reason to believe that it was anything more. And even if it was… did he want that? Something more… with Ushijima. He didn’t hate the idea of it, in fact, he actually liked it. However, with everything that happened, he wasn’t ready for a relationship. It was too soon. He had plenty of other things to worry about too. School, finding a job, whether or not he wanted to go home.

He couldn’t add a new relationship to all that. Not yet.

“So what’s your decision?” Kenma asked.

Hinata groaned and then, as dramatically as he could, he threw himself back against the pillows. “Seriously? You ask me that first thing?”

Kenma only shrugs, “I need to know if I have to clean out the guest room.”

Hinata’s chest dipped as he sighed long and heavy. “I think… I want to stay here.” He braced himself for an argument; for Kenma to be mad at him, or Suga, but all Kenma said was,

“Alright.”

Hinata’s eyes shot open and he gave his friend an uncertain look, “That’s it? No arguing? You’re not gonna tell me that I’m being an idiot?”

“No.” Kenma shook his head. “You made your decision and as much as I may want to, I won’t try to change your mind.” He was quiet for a moment, “But you will be calling and texting me often.”

It wasn’t negotiable, but Hinata wasn’t upset about it. He was glad to have his friend back in his life. Terushima had taken too much from him, some things he would never get back. But this? Kenma, their friendship; he got it and he wasn’t going to lose it again.

“Deal!”

Chapter Text

Hinata

Mornings weren’t usually so lively, but with three extra people, it was bound to be different. Kuroo was wide awake and engaged in a conversation with an exhausted Daichi and a feisty looking Suga. Kenma slowly joined them at the table, and Kuroo left the conversation just long enough to slide him a plate and a mug of coffee. And Ushijima was… where was Ushijima?

Hinata looked around the room again, but he wasn’t there. Maybe he was still asleep? Curious, he wandered toward the hall that led to the guest rooms, but a noise from the kitchen made him stop. He spun around and was greeted by a bizarre sight. Ushijima was standing at — no, towering over the stove, carefully flipping a perfectly round pancake. His movements were quick, precise; like he had done it a thousand times. And, judging by the pile of pancakes on the plate beside him, he had done it at least fifty.

“Toshi! You can cook?”

The man started, nearly dropping the spatula into the uncooked batter, and quickly pulled a headphone out of his ear.

“Sorry.” Hinata bit back a laugh. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ushijima turned stiffly toward him. “You did not.”

Hinata snorted, “sure.” He glanced at the earbud in Ushijima’s hand and could hear the faint music still playing. “What are you listening to?”

Without a word, Ushijima held the earbud out for him to take. He did. And when he brought it to his ear, he was greeted by a soft guitar and gentle voice. It was catchy, but slow and soothing, and so very… Toshi.

He smiled and handed the earbud back. “I like it.”

Ushijima hummed quietly in response, but he didn’t put the earbud back in his ear. Instead, he slid it into the pocket of his sweatpants.

“I didn’t know you knew how to cook.” Without a second thought, Hinata grabbed the bowl of batter, ready to start cooking. “Do you want any help?”

Ushijima shook his head, “you don’t need to…” He trailed off, his gaze lowering to the pancake sizzling in the pan for a moment. Softly, he cleared his throat, “you can pour the batter, if you would like.”

Hinata lit up and moved to where Ushijima had stepped aside from. Without a word, the older man held out the unused earbud for Hinata to take, and he grabbed it. The next song was similar to the last; the same artist, the same soft, sweet tune.

Ushijima slid the finished pancake out of the pan and onto the pile, moving out of the way as Hinata carefully poured the batter in. The familiar sizzling made him smile. He missed this.

His head bopped lightly to the music playing in his ear, watching the batter cook in the pan carefully. Beside him, he thought he saw Ushijima swaying slightly to the tune.

The batter began to bubble up and he quickly grabbed the spatula, determined to flip it himself. However the task proved more difficult than it normally would. The cast on his arm limited his mobility. Ushijima must have noticed, because his large hand came to Hinata’s, helping to steady the shaking limb.

But the flip, even with Ushijima’s help, was anything but smooth. Resulting in a very lopsided pancake.

A fleeting feeling of embarrassment rushed over him when he saw the mess along the side of the pan, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Replaced by a trail of hearty laughter he could barely contain.

“It’s so bad!”

Ushijima chuckled, his shoulders relaxing. “It isn’t terrible.”

“Not terrible — Toshi!” He pointed with the spatula in his hand. “Look at it! It’s awful!”

Ushijima looked at the pan for a moment, watching as the pancake cooked and began to burn. Without a word, he took the spatula back and slid the pancake out and onto a plate and cut it open. Hinata looked at the undercooked center in horror.

“Toshi…”

Ushijima met his gaze, then without a word, popped the piece of pancake into his mouth.

Hinata gaped, “Toshi! Don’t! It’s burnt and gross!”

Ushijima shook his head, mouth still full of steaming, undercooked pancake.

Hinata lunged at him, reaching to try and open his mouth. However, with his height, Ushijima could easily escape him. “Spit it out! Toshi! Seriously!”

Ushijima shook his head, fighting back a smile as he chewed the bite, struggling to swallow it. Hinata grimaced, cheeks blushing brightly. It was probably disgusting – the texture alone would make him want to throw up.

“Toshi!”

Finally, Ushijima swallowed it, and if it disgusted him, he didn’t admit it. His usual stoic expression didn’t let Hinata know his thoughts.

“You ate it?!”

Ushijima opened his mouth to prove that he had, in fact, swallowed it.

“What… how was it?” He held the smallest bit of hope that the pancake, at the very least, tasted good.

Ushijima was quiet for a moment, as if contemplating the question deeply, before stating firmly that the pancake was; “Gooey.”

The feeling fluttered in his chest, up to his throat, and soon, without warning, Hinata burst into a fit of laughter. Ushijima watched him, his own lips curling into a smile and soft laughter filling the room.

“What’s going on in here?” Kuroo’s voice interrupted them, slowly cutting through their laughter.

Hinata looked over at him, smiling wide, “I tried to flip a pancake but it was sooo bad! It was all gross and undercooked—”

“It tasted fine.” Ushijima added beneath his own much smaller smile.

“You weren’t supposed to eat it!” Hinata shouted, giving Ushijima a light shove and gaining a quiet laugh in return.

“Speaking of eating…” Kuroo nodded toward the table, “you should have some breakfast and not just cook for us, yeah?”

Hinata glanced at the pile of pancakes and nodded. He had been so distracted helping Ushijima, he had forgotten how hungry he was. “Oh, right.” He chuckled and looked at Ushijima.

“Go. I’ll finish what’s left.” Ushijima smiled down at him.

Hinata nodded and took an empty plate. He took only two pancakes, but before he could leave, Ushijima quickly added a few more. He followed Kuroo to the table, filled plate in hand, and sat down beside Kenma.

“Sounds like you two were having fun in there.” Suga mused over his cup of coffee. “Haven’t heard Toshi laugh like that in a while.”

Hinata’s cheeks heated up. “We were just cooking.”

Suga must have noticed the blush on his cheeks, because he thankfully changed the subject. “So, Kenma,” he set his coffee cup down, “we didn’t get much of a chance to talk last night. What do you do for a living?”

Before Kenma could answer, Hinata perked up, “Kenma’s a professional video game streamer. He’s pretty famous too!” He looked at Kenma proudly. “Kuroo’s his manager, and he takes care of a lot of the business stuff for his company.

“Wait… Bouncing Ball Corporation is real?” Daichi asked in disbelief.

Kuroo snorted, “Yeah it’s real. You thought I made that up?”

“Well… yeah.” Daichi replied. “Can you blame me?”

With a shrug, Kuroo laugh. “Nah. It’s a ridiculous name. But our wonderful Kodzuken came up with it all on his own.” He nodded toward Kenma.

“You’re Kodzuken!?” Suga shouted suddenly. “You— you’re really him? You’re Kodzuken! Oh my god!”

Beside him, Kuroo grinned while Kenma attempted to disappear into his hoodie.

“Yep.” Kuroo continued contently, and plopped his hand on top of Kenma’s two toned hair. “This is the world famous Kodzuken.”

“Not world famous, Kuro.” Kenma mumbled, but that didn’t stop Suga.

“Yamaguchi — one of my costars watches all of your stuff!” Suga looked at Hinata, eyes alive with excitement. “Tadashi loves this guy!”

“Oh! That’s right!” Hinata remembered Yamaguchi mentioning something about it. How he had to run home so he wouldn’t miss the stream that night. Hinata meant to talk to him about it, but Yamaguchi left before he had the chance. “I didn’t even put that together! Kenma you have to meet him! He’s super nice and he LOVES your stuff!”

Kenma tried, but failed to glare at them.

Hinata knew that Kenma was grateful for his fans – after all, without them, he wouldn’t be able to do what he loves – but meeting them wasn’t always easy for him. He was introverted, and not usually what his fan’s expected.

“Please, Kenma?” Hinata begged, “Please? He’s really nice!”

“It’s not a bad idea, Kitten.” Kuroo agreed, “having a celebrity fan would be good for business.”

“I don’t care about celebrities.” Kenma snapped, and a tense silence fell around them.

Across from him, Suga shifted in his seat. He didn’t look upset, but he certainly wasn’t relaxed.

Kenma faltered, his gaze lowering to his hands. “I mean…”

“I understand, Kenma” Suga smiled. “You mean that you don’t care if your fans are celebrities or regular people; you love them just the same.”

The slight venom behind his tone was well hidden beneath the kind words, but it was clear that Kenma had heard it.

“…right.”

“What if we went out to dinner? I could invite Yamaguchi!” Suga looked at Daichi, who gave him a small nod. “You guys like sushi?”

“Only if it’s expensive.” Kuroo teased.

The restaurant Suga had chosen was the most upscale place Hinata had ever been. It wasn’t exceptionally large, but it was beautiful. There were separate rooms for each group of guests, ensuring Suga’s and Yamaguchi’s privacy for the evening.

Kuroo let out a low whistle. “Damn, Kitten. Maybe we should go out more often.”

Kenma looked at him through narrowed eyes. “You’re more than welcome to go out anytime. But I’m not coming with you.”

Kuroo clutched his chest and dramatically feigned injury, “oh Kitten! How you wound me!”

Kenma dragged Kuroo inside. “You’re so embarrassing!”

Hinata followed them, and the group met up with Suga and Daichi, both waiting for them in the hall. Ushijima paused by the door to talk with the hostess; who looked a little shell shocked when Suga removed his mask.

“You know,” Kuroo leaned over to Daichi, “I was joking when I said that it had to be expensive. Kenma isn’t the upscale type.”

Daichi chuckled, “yeah, well, Suga is. This place is one of his favorites, so it would have been hard to get him to go anywhere else.”

The door opened and Hinata looked over. Yamaguchi stepped inside, wearing a similar mask to Suga to help disguise himself.

“Oh! That's him!” Hinata pointed at the man as he pulled down his mask.

Kenma grabbed his arm and held it tight. He looked over at his friend, concern creasing his brows.

“What’s wrong?”

“He…” Kenma swallowed, and Hinata realized that he was blushing. “You didn’t say… you never said that he was hot!” He said in a harsh, hushed voice.

Beside him, Kuroo started cackling, and Kenma again tried hiding himself; but unfortunately, Kuroo had wrangled him into a more appropriate outfit. Meaning that there wasn’t a gigantic hoodie for him to disappear into.

Wordlessly, Hinata linked their arms together and leaned against his friend, hoping the closeness might help ease some of his anxiety.

“Hey!” Suga bounced over to his friend, catching him in a quick hug. Yamaguchi returned it happily.

“Hey! Thanks for the invite.” He looked over at the others, glancing over their faces until he saw Kenma, and his smile slowly faded. “What… who…?”

Hinata tried and failed to contain his grin when he saw the flicker of recognition in Yamaguchi’s eyes.

“That — he’s — this is Kodzuken! He gestured toward Kenma, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. “He’s Kodzuken! The Kodzuken!!”

Suga and Hinata smiled at each other. “Surprise!”

Yamaguchi was practically vibrating with excitement; but Kenma on the other hand, seemed miserable. Gently, Hinata nudged him forward, and he took a small step closer to Yamaguchi.

“I’m… Kozume Kenma.” Kenma bowed his head a little. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“H-Hi!” Yamaguchi’s cheeks were red and smile shaky. He bowed quickly, almost smacking his head into Kenma’s. “Kodzuken — Ah, Kozume-San! I’m such a big fan! I’ve watched all of your streams — even if I’m filming! I always make sure I catch up if I missed one! I especially liked when you played Solar Kingdom 2 last summer! It was so cool!”

“Dashi, breathe.” Suga laughed at his side, gingerly rubbing the young man’s arm. Yamaguchi took a breath, one that did little to actually calm him down. “You didn’t even get this nervous when you met Oikawa.”

Yamaguchi whipped his head around, “has Oikawa been named ‘Top Gamer of the year’ for four consecutive years? No! And no one’s beaten his record on Dragon's Gate 6! He’s had the high score for two years!”

Kenma’s eyes lit up a little. “You… know all that?”

Yamaguchi turned back to him, “Yeah! Of course I did!” He yelled, the sound making Kenma retreat a little. “Sorry! I’m just — I’m really excited to meet you!” He managed to quiet himself just a little.

“It’s fine…” Kenma mumbled, his lips curling into a small smile.

Kuroo lightly slapped Kenma on the back and gave Yamaguchi a once over. “Yamaguchi, was it?”

Yamaguchi looked at Kuroo and his smile immediately fell at the edges. Hinata knew how intimidating Kuroo could look, and just how genial he actually was. “Y-Yes! Yamaguchi Tadashi!”

Kuroo smiled, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Yamaguchi. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, director of Bouncing Ball Corp. Thank you for supporting Kenma’s work.”

“It’s my pleasure!” Yamaguchi smiled, “I-I mean — I love him!” The smile immediately disappeared, “I-I— HIS STREAMS! I mean I love his streams!”

Now both Kenma and Yamaguchi looked like they wanted to run away. And, in an effort to save the evening, Suga stepped forward.

“Why don’t we go and sit down?” Suga suggested, gently steering everyone toward their reserved room.

If there was anything Hinata had yet to get used to, it was the expensive meals. Sure, he had been spoiled by Kenma and Kuroo occasionally, but they rarely went out to restaurants. The rich flavors and intricate presentation were unlike anything he had ever experienced.

About halfway through the meal, Kuroo leaned over to him and smiled. “They seem to be getting along well.” He nodded toward where Kenma was sitting with Yamaguchi beside him, talking his ear off. Normally, Kenma would have looked annoyed or would have even told the person to shut up. But with Yamaguchi, he just sat and listened, looking oddly content, for the entire meal.

Hinata grinned and leaned in, “should we start planning the wedding?”

“Oh definitely.” Kuroo mused, “after all, it’ll be up to us. Kenma won’t be any help with it. Though Yamaguchi seems creative enough.”

Daichi leaned over, “I’m sorry but… I was under the impression that you and Kozume were a couple.” He glanced over at Kenma and Yamaguchi.

Kuroo looked at him, one brow lifted in surprise. “Oh, nah. We get that sometimes, cause we’re pretty inseparable. But we’re just best friends.” He shrugged. “Besides, I have my sights set on a very feisty new graphic designer at work.” A devious smile curled his lips. “He hates me, thinks I’m annoying.”

“You?” Hinata mused, “unbelievable.”

Kuroo tossed a chopstick at him. “Shaddup! I’m a catch, okay? Tsukki will see that one day.”

Hinata dodged the oncoming attack and laughed. The idea of a relationship didn’t scare him as much as he thought it would. What he had with Terushima wasn’t love. It wasn’t anything a relationship should have been.

He looked at Suga and Daichi. The two were sitting close, Suga practically on Daichi’s lap, despite there being plenty of space for everyone around the table. They were so in love, so good to each other.

And, while he knew that Kenma might not admit it for a while, he liked Yamaguchi. It was obvious to anyone who knew Kenma. Even Kuroo had his eyes on someone. Everyone was moving forward in love, finding new love or simply enjoying the love they have.

He wanted that too. He wanted to be in love and to be loved like they surely were. And maybe, if he was lucky, he would get that someday.

“Do you not like the eel?” Ushijima leaned closer, eying the sushi roll still on his plate.

Hinata smiled up at him and shook his head. “I tried it, but yeah… no. Not my favorite.” He glanced at the roll, “you can have it, if you want.”

Ushijima hesitated, but Hinata could see how eager he was. “Are you sure?”

Hinata pushed his plate closer to Ushijima and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. It’s all yours.”

Ushijima didn’t hesitate again. He picked it up and ate it in one bite. Hinata watched him for a moment, watching the way his lips curled into a small smile as he swallowed the food.

“Good?”

Ushijima nodded, the smile on his lips widening. “Very. Thank you.”

Hinata let himself relax a little and leaned his arm against Ushijima for support. Yeah. Maybe he would find that sort of love someday. “You’re welcome.”

“That was fun.=!” Hinata stretched his arms above his head as they walked out of the elevator. “I missed them.”

“You can invite them over whenever you want.” Suga promised. “Aone has their IDs and will recognize them if they come here, so they’ll get through no problem. Though I have a feeling that Kenma might get busy soon. If Yams has his way.”

Hinata laughed, recalling exactly how red his friend’s face had gotten when Yamaguchi asked for his number. “I’ve never seen Kenma so nervous!

“I have to admit, that was unexpected.” Suga chuckled, “I knew that Tadashi was bisexual, but I didn’t realize he would be into Kenma like that.”

“Let’s just hope that Kuroo doesn’t tease them too much and ruin it.” Daichi added as he unlocked the door. “Man, I really thought they were an item. They’re so close.”

“Friends can be close, Daichi.” Suga scolded as he walked inside. “Not every guy's friendship has to be all macho - no hugging or feelings all the time.”

Daichi laughed, “is that what you think of my friendships?”

“Please, I’ve seen you and Tanaka together!” Suga retorted easily.

Hinata felt his phone buzz and quickly unlocked it, expecting to see a completely understandable ‘freaking-out’ text from Kenma, but it was from his sister instead.

From: Natsu :D

shitty-shima’s been asking about you again. kept texting and calling me so i blocked him. I dont mean to freak you out but i figured you should know that he’s still set on finding you.

From: Natsu :D

obviously none of us will tell him anything. As long as ur with suga, you’re good. we love you sho <3

Hinata swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. Of course Terushima hadn’t given up yet. It had only been a few weeks.

What if Terushima went to his parent’s house? What if he threatened them? It felt too extreme for him to do that; after all, if he did that, then everyone would know exactly what type of person he was. And Terushima didn’t want that.

Still, Hinata couldn’t shake the fear of it.

He took a breath and let it out slowly, then another.

It would be fine. Everything would be fine.

Chapter Text

Hinata

It had been two months since he was found by Suga and Ushijima. Two months since he left his life with Terushima. The only evidence left on his body was the cast on his arm and the scars that would unfortunately never disappear. That, and the seemingly never ending search Tersuhima was on to find him. Natsu kept him updated, but he had a feeling that she wasn’t sharing everything. Probably to keep from scaring him, but not knowing it all didn’t exactly calm him down.

Thankfully, Suga had finally convinced him to start talking to a therapist. Once his parents and Kenma were on board with the idea, it was hard to refuse it.

He was apprehensive at first. He didn’t want to relive everything he went through or talk about it with a complete stranger, but Dr. Yamaka had calmed all of his worries. She was kind and patient and incredibly easy to talk to. In just three sessions, he had opened up so much more than he ever thought would be possible.

Surprisingly, purging it all felt good. Not at first, not in the moment when he had to relive it, but letting it out left him feeling lighter. Happier. Like he could finally move past it.

He dug beneath the plaster cast with his finger as he pushed the door open with his foot, desperately trying to relieve the itch along his wrist. The waiting room was relatively empty; only a few other patients that he didn’t know but recognized and, of course, Ushijima.

Lately, the bodyguard had been assigned to him rather than Suga. Something that both Suga and Daichi seemed fine with — there was another guard that could escort the idol to and from work.

“Hey Toshi.” He gave up on the itch, letting his casted arm fall to his side. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.” Ushijima set the magazine in his hand down and stood up. Ushijima led him through the double doors and out into the parking lot. They walked in silence as they usually did after his session, and once they reached the car, Hinata leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. As good as the therapy made him feel, it was also exhausting. Who knew that sitting on a couch, talking for an hour could be so draining?

The drive wasn’t long. Conveniently, Suga had found an office pretty close to his place. Which made it hard to avoid any sessions, no matter how much he wanted to sometimes.

“Are you hungry?” Ushijima asked.

Hinata’s eyes opened to look at him; he was watching the road like the responsible man he was, but he looked a little tense. Worried, almost.

“Yeah, kinda.” He answered honestly. “Can we stop somewhere?”

Ushijima nodded. “What do you want?”

It was an easy enough question to answer, but with how exhausted he was, it was oddly daunting.

“You choose.” He mumbled before rubbing his eyes. Out of his peripheral, he saw Ushijima turn his head toward him. Those hazel eyes no doubt searching his face for the thoughts he wasn’t sharing.

After a few moments, Ushijima asked, “How about we go back to the apartment and I cook something?”

That was the right choice, and Ushijima knew it before Hinata did.

Hinata smiled sleepily, “sure.”

Learning that Ushijima could cook was a surprise. A good one. First the pancakes he made a few weeks ago, and now the decadent, steaming ramen in front of him.

“Did you… is this instant ramen?” It certainly didn’t look like it. There were fresh veggies added, an egg and even a few slices of pork belly.

“Technically the noodles and broth are.” Ushijima answered. “I added some things. You need to eat nutritious meals.”

“That’s… a fair point.” Before coming to Suga’s, he couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten so well. Cooking for Terushima had become a chore and he put whatever energy he had into making a good meal for him, rarely leaving much for himself. Now, every meal was filling and nutritious, he was given vitamins to help get his strength back, and there was always plenty for him to eat.

He took a bite, making sure to get a good helping of both noodles and vegetables, while Ushijima watched silently. No doubt he was waiting to see his reaction.

“Is it good?”

Good? It wasn’t just good — it was amazing! The savory broth and the sweet crunch of the vegetables made him instantly go in for a second bite. The pancakes were good, but this was incredible.

Hinata nodded and quickly swallowed his mouthful, “really good!”

“I’m glad.” Ushijima smiled and relaxed before finally beginning to eat as well.

They ate their meals quietly. Hinata tried to fill the time with conversation, but he found he was too hungry to bother.

Hinata pushed his empty bowl forward, then settled back in his seat. “I'm stuffed!” He patted his now full stomach lightly. “That was so good! Can you teach me how to make it? I can teach you how to make a cake.”

“I… already know how to bake.” Ushijima replied quietly, “however… I would enjoy baking with you. Perhaps we can bake Sugawara something.”

Hinata grinned, “yeah? Let’s make something now! What do you think he’d like? He likes sweets, right?”

Ushijima eyed him. “I thought you were tired.”

Hinata’s cheeks heated up with blush, “I… was.” He still was. Tired and full of delicious, warm soup. He looked at Ushijima, but there was no fooling him. “Fine,” he conceded. “I am tired. I want to take a nap, okay!?”

Ushijima’s smile softened, as did his stare. “We’ll bake together another time. I have yet to try one of your cakes, and I intend to sometime soon. Go and get some rest, I’ll clean this up.”

Hinata wanted to protest, but something told him that it would be pointless. So, instead he nodded and asked Ushijima to wake him up in an hour before leaving the table. He changed into something comfier; his usual oversized hoodie and green sweatpants, and climbed into bed.

When he woke some time later, he didn’t feel all that well rested. Whatever sleep he had gotten left his body tense and uncomfortable. Groggily, he climbed out of bed, forgoing his cell phone in favor of a bottle of water and staggered out into the apartment.

“Hey sleepy-head.” Suga greeted cheerfully as he walked into the living room, hair and clothing a mess. “I was gonna come wake you up, we’re about to have dinner.”

His eyes widened, “dinner? What time is it?”

“Hm,” Suga glanced at the clock, “6:30.”

What was supposed to be a one hour nap had turned into four hours, and Hinata wasn’t happy about it. Instantly, Hinata whipped around to glare at Ushijima. “You were supposed to wake me up!”

The man however, was unphased by the outburst. “Clearly, you needed the rest.”

Hinata opened his mouth to say something, but Suga put a hand on his shoulder and gently steered him to the table. “Come on. You can yell at him after dinner, okay?”

“Okay,” Hinata huffed.

The meal was just as good as the ramen Ushijima had made earlier, and he briefly considered asking who had cooked. But he was still… not mad, but seriously annoyed with him.

Across from him, Daichi’s phone vibrated, disrupting the conversation for a moment. He checked it before tapping a quick reply.

“What’s up?” Suga asked, though he didn’t seem all that concerned. Just curious. It wasn’t like with Terushima; whenever his phone went off, he insisted on seeing who it was and to know what they were talking about.

Hinata frowned down at his meal. He hated how often he still thought about Terushima. He just wanted to be done with him.

“It was Taketora confirming the time for Friday.” Daichi replied.

“Oh, that’s right.” Suga perked up and turned to Hinata. “Hinata, you remember that Daichi and I are going away this weekend, right?”

Hinata slowly looked up and nodded, “yeah. Osaka, right?”

Suga grinned, “yes! I’m gonna eat so much crab!” He sighed dreamily and rested his chin on his hand. “Did you pick what you want us to bring you as a souvenir?”

“You don’t have to bring me anything.” They had already been through this. Multiple times. Hinata insisting that Suga and Daichi didn’t need to buy him anything – they had already done too much for him. Still, he had a feeling that Suga and Daichi weren’t going to listen, and would end up buying him a few things during their stay.

“Fine, fine.” Suga waved his hand, deciding to move on. “Anyway, you’re sure you’ll be okay here alone when we go?”

They had also already discussed that plenty of times, but still hadn’t come to an agreement. And Hinata was more annoyed about it than he was about the possible souvenirs.

“I already told you I would.” Hinata replied with a huff. “I’m not a baby, Suga. I can manage to be alone for a weekend.”

If Suga was offended, he hid it well. “I know that, Hinata. I just want to make sure you’ll be comfortable. You could always have Kenma come and stay over.”

“Kenma’s got a big stream this weekend.” Hinata replied hesitantly. “He’s going to be busy.”

Suga hummed in thought, “Or, what about Ushijima?” He looked at the bodyguard, “would you be willing to stay here while we’re gone?”

“What? N-no!” Hinata blurted out. “I don’t need a security guard!”

“I know, but it might be smart. Especially considering the fact that Terushima has been reaching out.” Daichi added. “I know that he has no way of finding you here, but we would feel better if someone was with you.”

Hinata frowned at the thought. Even if Terushima were to find out where he was – and the chances of that were small – there was no way of him getting passed security.

“I don’t mind.” Ushijima spoke up finally. “I can stay here, or simply come over daily to check on you.” He looked at Hinata then, his expression unreadable. “Whatever you are comfortable with.”

Hinata didn’t want to admit it, especially after putting up so much of a fight, but having Ushijima around did make him feel better. He wasn’t scared of being alone, and he didn’t feel unsafe in the apartment, but… having him around wouldn’t hurt, right?

“It’s fine.” He said finally, “Toshi can… he can stay here. It would be fun to hang out, you know?”

The questionable stare that Ushijima gave him was hard to decipher. Still, he had made his decision. Ushijima was welcomed to stay at the apartment if he wanted to. And finally, the man gave a curt nod.

“Alright.”

Ushijima

The very last thing he wanted to do was intrude on Hinata’s space. Not that the luxurious apartment was small or crowded in the slightest. They could easily avoid each other if Hinata wished to. He had been rather adamant about handling the weekend on his own, despite Sugawara’s persistence.

Ushijima knew that Hinata was plenty capable of caring for himself. Even with his immobile arm, he had adjusted well. There wasn’t really anything for Ushijima to aid him with. He was simply there. Providing company or protection.

Hopefully, they wouldn’t need the latter.

He stared at the overnight bag beside him on the bed. Sugawara had left with Daichi and Taketora only an hour ago, and while it wasn’t the first time he had spent a night there, it was strange being in their home without them. And he couldn’t quite decide if Hinata’s presence would help or hinder the situation.

“Toshi!”

In an instant he was on his feet and out of the bedroom. He barreled down the hall, coming to an abrupt stop when he almost crashed into an armchair.

“Wha— what’s wrong?”

Hinata looked up from his spot on the couch, the too large hoodie hanging off his small frame like an extra blanket. “Nothing!” He laughed, “sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Ushijima took a breath.

Nothing was wrong.

He needed to relax.

Ushijima nodded, trying to hide the embarrassment in his face. And luckily, Hinata was quick to change the subject.

“I picked out three movies!” He held up the iPad, Ushijima looked over the choices; a romantic comedy, a cute looking anime film, and a horror movie. Three extremely different choices. “Which one would you rather watch?”

Ushijima didn’t think the horror movie would be a good idea, however he didn’t want to make the choice for Hinata. “I don’t have a preference.”

“Let’s try the scary one!” Hinata tapped the screen and the television began to play through the movie’s opening credits.

Ushijima held back a sigh. Of course. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah!” Hinata replied easily, “I like spooky stuff! I can handle it. But we can change it if you want. Do you like scary movies?”

Ushijima shrugged and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. “I don’t mind them.”

“Awesome!” Hinata cheered, and the movie slowly began.

It wasn’t as terrifying as the cover art made it seem; however that didn’t mean it wasn’t frightening. There were moments that (though he might not admit it) Ushijima wished they had chosen one of the other movies. Hinata seemed unphased by it; however, throughout the movie, the redhead had made his way across the couch until he was pressed against Ushijima’s side, half hidden behind the blanket.

As the movie went on, the weight on his arm grew heavy, and Ushijima finally glanced down at him. Hinata’s head was resting against his bicep, eyes closed and breathing soft. He was asleep; lulled to slumber by the chaos on the screen. Ushijima held back a laugh, not wanting to wake him up. It was surprising to think that he could fall asleep to that.

He hated the thought, and quickly pushed it away as he glanced down at Hinata.

He had never looked so closely at him, but now he could see every detail. The slightly different shades of red in his hair, the way it curled in all directions. The freckles decorating his delicate nose and rosy cheeks. The soft curve of his lips.

He was pretty – no. He was beautiful. Radiant. The spark in his eyes and his contagious smile never ceased to catch Ushijima off guard. To still his rapid heartbeat for a moment and make him want nothing more than to wrap Hinata in his arms and keep him. Cherish him. Spoil him. Kiss him.

The realization brought a bright, burning blush to his cheeks and he pulled the hand that had been in Hinata’s hair back.

When had he started touching him?

Ushijima rubbed his tired eyes and sighed. He needed to get a grip on his feelings — on… whatever this was between them.

All of a sudden, Hinata jolted upright. Eyes as wide as saucers, face pale and breathing hard. Ushijima recognized it instantly. In the brief time he was asleep beside him, Hinata had a nightmare.

“Hey,” reaching out, Ushijima didn’t miss the way Hinata flinched away from his hand and he quickly pulled back. “Hinata, it’s alright.”

Still trying to catch his breath, Hinata’s eyes searched the room, finally focusing on Ushijima after a few moments. “Toshi… sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Ushijima said softly. He decided that it would be alright to try and reach out again, slowly bringing his hand to Hinata’s temple. Brushing back his bright hair and grazing his fingertips along Hinata’s cheek. To his surprise, Hinata leaned into the brief touch. His heart skipped, blush warmed his cheeks again.

No. It wasn’t the time for any of that.

Slowly, he let his hand fall, but he remained close enough to offer any comfort, should Hinata need it. “Was… was it about him?”

“No.” Hinata mumbled, his eyes darting back to the television. “It was… maybe about the movie.”

He felt himself wanting to smile. Of course he felt terrible that Hinata had woken from a nightmare, but at the very least, it wasn’t about his ex. “You told me that it wouldn’t scare you.”

“Well I didn’t think it would!” Hinata flopped back into the cushions. “It’s creepier than I thought it would be!”

That time, he was unable to stop himself, and he let the little laugh slip. He reached down to grab the iPad. “We should watch something else. Unless you want to go to bed…?”

Hinata promptly shook his head. “No way! I can’t sleep now!”

Ushijima chuckled, “alright.” Without any instruction, he chose the animated movie. It seemed like the lightest choice; something soothing after the nightmare. And, despite Hinata’s declaration, he fell asleep again about halfway through the movie. Though this time, he had made a comfortable pillow out of Ushijima’s thigh. He settled in, hoping that this time, Hinata would get some rest. Attempting to soothe anymore possible nightmares, Ushijima began to gingerly brush through Hinata’s soft hair. The young man relaxed further in sleep, and Ushijima smiled.

“Goodnight, Hinata.”

Chapter Text

Hinata

“Toshi! Tooooshi!!” He barralled down the hallway and slid to a stop in front of the coffee table. “Toshi! Oikawa invited us out tonight! Can we go?”

Ushijima looked up at him, brows furrowing at the mention of Oikawa. “He invited us?”

“Well…” Hinata smiled sheepishly, “me. But you can come with me. You kinda have to… according to Suga.”

Ushijima sighed softly and Hinata’s smile slowly fell.

He shouldn’t have asked. Obviously Ushijima didn’t want to go — he and Oikawa didn’t get along. Why had he thought about asking?

It was stupid.

He was being stupid.

He was making Ushijima upset and for what? A night out at a loud club with people he barely knew? He knew he could be selfish — Terushima told him that often — but he thought he had gotten better.

“Hinata?” Ushijima called his name softly and it jolted him back from his thoughts.

“N-Nevermind!” He said quickly, hoping to get out of the conversation before Ushijima got too angry with him. “We don’t have to!”

Ushijima sat up and Hinata felt his body flinch. “Hinata—”

“I don’t even want to go!” He blurted out the lie, desperately wanting Ushijima to believe it. “I-It’ll be loud and crowded. I don’t… I don’t want to go.”

“You seemed excited about it.” Ushijima pointed out.

If he was angry, Hinata couldn’t tell from his tone. Ushijima was always careful with his tone and words, unlike Hinata who blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

He was brash and clumsy and loud. All things Terushima claimed to find cute, but in reality, he hated them. Always telling Hinata to shut up or quiet down or to stop being so obnoxious.

“I’m sorry…” His head hung, eyes on the floor. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Hin—”

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” He took an involuntary step back. “Please don’t be! I won’t bring it up again! I swear—”

“Hinata.” There was a finality to his voice, but not the kind that Terushima had. It wasn’t angry or hurtful, but it was stern. “I am not angry with you. I swear. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

He had a hard time believing that.

Ushijima moved slowly, like he was approaching a scared animal. Which, wasn’t that what he was? He was pathetic and terrified. He watched as Ushijima finally rose to his feet and reached one hand out. Hinata stared at it, still frozen in place. “Do you want to go out with Oikawa tonight?”

It was a simple enough question, but he still hesitated. He didn’t quite believe that Ushijima was telling the truth — or, more so that he genuinely was alright going. Ushijima didn’t seem the type to lie to him, but he was certainly kind enough to pretend.

Slowly, Hinata nodded.

“Alright, then we will go.” Ushijima replied evenly.

“Seriously?” Hinata could feel himself starting to spiral again. “We don’t—”

“We are going.” Ushijima stated firmly, and it silenced any argument forming in Hinata’s throat. “You want to go. So we are going.”

They walked down the sidewalk side by side. Hinata kept his hands tucked in his pockets, the gloves he had been gifted were too big but the warmth was welcome. The night was cold and clear; stars speckling the sky, the moon illuminating their path.

Hinata could hear the music from outside; the bass rumbling the ground beneath his feet. The sensation was overwhelming. For a brief moment, he thought about turning back and going home, but before he could make a decision, they reached the doors.

Ushijima led him past the line of people waiting, which left a sour feeling in his stomach. He didn’t want to barge in before everyone else, but Ushijima didn’t pay them any attention. Hinata watched as the bouncer and Ushijima shared a few words before Ushijima showed his ID. The man immediately stepped aside and let them in.

The club lights flashed in all different colors; disguising the mass amount of people crowded on the dance floor. The music blared on his ears and his hands lifted to block out the sound.

“Holy shit…”

“Hinata,” Ushijima’s hand came to the small of his back, gently guiding him through the crowd. “It’s this way.”

A security guard, who was smaller than Ushijima but still looked strong enough to fight off a small army, ushered them through the club. Hinata stayed glued to Ushijima’s side the entire time; and thankfully, Ushijima didn’t move his hand.

After a minute, they came to a set of stairs. It was roped off and guarded by another two burly men.

“Thank you.” Ushijima bowed slightly to the guard before stepping aside. “Hinata, after you.”

He watched as one of the security guards lifted up the rope.

“Wha— me?” He turned to Ushijima, eyes wide as saucers. “But—”

“Chibi-Chan!”

Hinata spun around at the sound of his nickname, and he lit up when he saw the tall brunette sauntering over toward them. “Oikawa!”

“You made it!” He grinned before taking a sip of his drink. “It’s nice to see you out and about.” His eyes lifted to Ushijima, the smile on his face falling at the edges. “Good to see you too, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima nodded sternly, “Oikawa.”

Hinata glanced at Ushijima, trying to gauge his annoyance level. It seemed manageable for now. “Thanks for inviting us!”

“Of course,” Oikawa mused and swung his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. “Let’s go sit down.” He started up the stairs, practically dragging Hinata along. “Let me introduce you to my boyfriend! Iwa-Chan!” He waved to the tall, dark haired man standing and sipping a beer.

“I told you not to call me that, Shittykawa.” He replied harshly, but Hinata could tell that there wasn’t any real anger behind it.

“Please, I happen to know that you love it.” Oikawa leaned closer, inadvertently dragging Hinata with him and it gave Hinata a clear view of the blush on Iwa-Chan’s face. “Just last night you were on all fours, begging me to —”

“Okay! Okay!” His boyfriend snapped, slapping a hand over Oikawa’s grin. The heat on his cheeks burned brighter as he looked down at Hinata, clearly trying to keep his composure. “Iwaizumi Hajime. You must be Hinata.”

“Yep!” Hinata smiled, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hinata!” Yamaguchi’s voice landed in his ears moments before he felt his body collide with his back. “You actually came!!”

“H-Hey!” He ignored the shock of the sudden touch, and turned to smile at his new friend. He slipped his arm around Yamaguchi to return the hug.

“And you even got Ushijima to come!” A man with dark brown hair laughed from behind Yamaguchi. “Way to go, kid!”

Hinata looked at him curiously. He was beaming and slapped Ushijima’s arm playfully. Ushijima gave him a small greeting, but looked otherwise unimpressed.

“This is my bodyguard, Ennoshita Chikara .” Yamaguchi released him and nodded toward the man. “And over there is Kageyama, you met him before.” He pointed to the black haired man standing off in the corner beside a small blonde woman. “And his hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend, Yachi!”

“Alisa and Kiyoko are here somewhere.” Oikawa glanced around, his arms lightly wrapped around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “Probably dancing.”

Hinata glanced down at the dance floor. Most of the cast had come out tonight, and he couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. He wasn’t a celebrity, not even close. This wasn’t his world.

“Chibi-Chan, let’s get you a drink!” Oikawa grabbed Hinata’s good hand and pulled him back down the stairs they had just climbed. Yamaguchi chased after them, and both Ushijima and Iwaizumi quickly followed.

They moved through the crowd. Oikawa had a firm grip on his hand and Yamaguchi was behind him, holding onto the hem of his shirt. Once they reached the bar, Oikawa grabbed one of the small cocktail menus off of the bar and looked at it for a moment.

“What do you like?”

“Oh uh… I don't know.” Hinata toyed with the cast on his arm as he looked at the bottles displayed behind the bartender. “I haven't had anything in a while.”

Oikawa looked him over, “something… sweet maybe?”

Yamaguchi leaned over the bar, squinting as he read the labels on the bottles. “Or fruity?”

“Lemonade.” Ushijima suddenly suggested. Both Yamaguchi and Oikawa looked at him. He stiffened beneath their gaze but didn’t waver. “Lemonade. Hinata enjoys lemonade.”

Hinata’s mouth opened to reply, but nothing came out. It was true that he liked lemonade – Suga even made sure to have some around, but he didn’t remember ever telling them that.

“Lemon drops!” Oikawa shouted and spun around to order the drinks.

Hinata grabbed Ushijima’s arm, tugging lightly on his sleeve. “How did you know I liked lemonade?”

“In the hospital…” he started hesitantly, “before you were fully awake, you asked for lemonade multiple times. So I suggested that Sugawara purchase some to have at their home, and you… often favor it over anything else.”

What?

Hinata’s grip on Ushijima’s jacket tightened. “You… noticed that?”

Ushijima softly cleared his throat, his eyes drifting away from Hinata’s. “I… I notice everything about you.”

Hinata’s eyes went wide. He noticed everything? God he hoped that wasn’t true. Hinata was a mess — there was plenty that he still wanted to hide from Ushijima. So that couldn’t be true, could it?

Before he could clarify, both Oikawa and Yamaguchi were shoving tiny shot glasses of bright yellow liquid in his face.

As the hours passed by, he could feel himself getting lighter. The music was blaring, drowning out any thoughts or anxiety that would have normally crept their way into his mind. The alcohol surely helped as well. Oikawa had given him five lemon drops, two tequila shots and one fruity cocktail that he had forgotten the name of.

He felt a pair of hands on his waist and pressed himself against the sturdy frame standing behind him. He smiled at the warm touch and swayed to the beat, leaning back against the body behind him. He hadn’t expected Ushiima to actually come and dance, but he was glad that he finally had.

“Damn baby,” a voice rumbled into his ear. “You’re so sexy.”

That voice wasn’t Ushiima’s. Hinata’s eyes shot open and he looked down. The hands on his body roamed freely; they didn’t belong to Ushijima. Panic surged inside of him and he looked back. All he saw was a mess of blonde hair. His stomach lurched at the familiar color.

“No!” He stumbled forward, but the man grabbed him again. He collided with his chest again, his head spinning. “Ugh… Get off…!”

Ushijima

Seeing Hinata dancing so freely made that morning feel like a distant dream. How frightened he had been compared to now, the change was unreal. However it was more welcomed than not. He was relieved to see Hinata enjoying himself, to see him enjoying the company of others.

Or he was, until he saw how close a strange man had gotten.

The stranger was pressed up against Hinata’s back, his hands roaming the smaller body without hesitation. Instantly, Ushijima wanted to step in and tear them apart, but he held himself back. Hinata looked as if he was enjoying himself; the way his body swayed and jerked to the music, hips rolling back against the stranger’s. Until he wasn’t. Ushijima watched as Hinata took a slow step away from the man, craning his head to look at the stranger.

“No!” Hinata’s cry was buried beneath the music, but the expression on his face alerted Ushijima to his fear. He watched as Hinata took another step forward, a step away from the stranger; and he saw how quickly the man’s hands grabbed Hinata and pulled him back. Ushijima scanned the crowd, but Oikawa had been pulled away by Iwaizumi, and Yamaguchi seemed to be too lost in the song to notice what was going on around him. He could barely make out their conversation beneath the echoing music, but he had heard enough to know that Hinata was not happy. It was easy to move through the crowd with his build; people simply parted for him, not wanting to get forcibly moved.

“I said… off!” Hinata shoved the man’s hands away and stumbled back, landing directly against Ushijima’s chest. “Wha — Toshi!”

Ushijima wrapped his arm around Hinata’s waist and locked eyes with the stranger. The man took one look at him and immediately backed away but Ushijima couldn’t quiet the anger rising in his chest. How dare he touch Hinata – how dare he touch what wasn’t his.

“Toshi?” Hinata smiled lopsidedly up at him. “Did’ya come to dance?”

Ushijima swallowed back the anger still brimming at the surface and looked down at him. “No. I believe you should take a break.” With a frown and no warning, Hinata turned to hide his face against him and whined. Ushijima wrapped his arm around the smaller man, holding him up with little effort, and fought back a smile. “You’re very drunk.”

“Na-uh…” Hinata mumbled against his arm. Ushijima tried to ignore the way his whisper made his skin tingle.

“Yes, you are.” He said through a strained voice.

Once they made their way back to the safety of the VIP section, Ushijima urged Hinata to sit down, but the redhead wouldn’t let him go and Ushijima easily gave in. After what had just happened it comforted him to have Hinata close; to be able to keep any other unwanted touches away from him.

“Aw… is Chibi-Chan sleepy?” Oikawa reached over to brush his long fingers through Hinata’s bright hair. Ushijima fought back the urge to yank the young man away from the other’s touch. “Probably time to take him home, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima looked down to where Hinata was hiding his face against his shirt. He was leaning on him with what felt like his entire body weight, and Ushijima had to agree with Oikawa. He should have brought him home earlier, or tried harder to slow his drinking but Hinata was determined to enjoy himself. “Yes. You’re right.”

“Aww is Hinata leaving?” Yamaguchi toddled over to them, clearly drunk but not as far gone as Hinata.

“He’s literally asleep on Ushiwaka, Yams.” Oikawa caught Yamaguchi in a lazy embrace. “Our new baby needs his rest. He’s still healing, after all.”

Hinata wobbled a little and turned his head to glare at them. His puffed up cheek was pressed against Ushijima’s chest and he mumbled, “not a baby…”

Oikawa cooed softly, but Yamaguchi leaned over to give Hinata an awkward hug.

“It was fun hanging out with you!” He beamed, catching Ushijima’s stare and backing away slowly. “Text me tomorrow so we know you’re okay.”

Hinata nodded, then sunk against Ushijima again, mumbling a quiet goodbye to the group.

As expected, it was easy to get Hinata out of the club and into their car. He followed directions well enough and without complaining, despite being unsteady on his feet, and he was light enough to maneuver when he did decide to be stubborn.

The moment he landed in the car seat, he sank back into it with a sigh. “That was fun…” he mumbled as Ushijima fastened Hinata’s seatbelt for him. “Should do it again…”

“I am glad that you enjoyed yourself.” And he was. He only wished that he had been more proactive in keeping the man away from him. He could still see the man’s hands on Hinata’s body; still hear the panic in Hinata’s voice. A fresh wave of anger crashed over to him. He slammed the door shut and took in a slow breath. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

He needed to calm down before getting into the car. Hinata couldn’t see him like this; he shouldn’t have to.

It took a few minutes of pacing back and forth, but slowly his anger subsided. And guilt crept its way back into his mind. This was his fault. He should have kept a better eye on Hinata. He shouldn’t have allowed Oikawa and Yamaguchi to fill him up with alcohol so quickly. But… How could he? Hinata had been stuck listening to another for years without hope of escape. Ushijima wanted him to have a night of complete freedom. And it had completely backfired. Now Hinata was barely conscious, exhausted, and had been nearly taken advantage of by a stranger. He was still healing. The night out wasn’t supposed to end like… this. He should have helped Hinata pace himself. Should have gotten Iwaizumi to stop his boyfriend from giving Hinata more drinks.

“Damnit…”

He glanced at his watch. It was nearly one in the morning. He needed to get Hinata home. He rounded the car and opened the door. He had expected Hinata to say something, to scold him on how rude it was to slam the door like that. But he was quiet. Ushijima’s chest tightened and he hesitantly looked at the redhead, only to see that Hinata had fallen asleep. It was a small mercy.

They drove home in silence; the only sound came from Hinata’s quiet breathing and occasional mumbles and laughter. At least he was having a good dream.

“Hinata,” he rubbed the young man’s shoulder softly. “Hinata, wake up. We’re back.”

Hinata slowly responded, opening his eyes just barely and looking around. Ushijima chuckled as he tried to stand up but was abruptly snapped back into the seat by the seat belt.

“Here, let me—”

“I got it!” Hinata announced loudly and Ushijima stepped back. He watched as Hinata struggled with the lock for a few moments before it finally let go. “Yes!” Hinata cheered for himself, then stumbled as he climbed out of the car.

Ushijima reached out to steady him, and Hinata practically collapsed against him.

“You definitely drank too much.” Ushijima noted.

Hinata hummed a sleepy reply against Ushijima’s chest, and Ushijima held back a sigh. He led Hinata through the lobby and into the elevator, and by the time they had reached their floor, Hinata was unable to keep himself upright. Ushijima carried him into the hall and through the door, carefully setting him down on his feet. Hinata swayed a little but managed to stay up.

“Alright,” Ushijima carefully unwrapped Hinata’s scarf and removed his coat. The redhead blinked slowly at him, smiling slightly as he was cared for. “I don’t think you can shower on your own, so I’ll just get you into bed.”

Hinata mumbled something that he couldn’t quite make out.

“What?” Ushijima kicked off his shoes before reaching down to help Hinata with his. Before he could, Hinata pushed off of him and ran down the hall, barely managing to kick off his shoes in the entryway. Ushijima stumbled back, and quickly tossed his coats aside. He rushed after the redhead, concern gnawing at his chest. “Hinata? Are you alr—” His question was silenced by the nauseating sound of Hinata vomiting. Well that answered that question.

Ushijima slowed to a stop in the doorway of the bathroom, and saw Hinata draped over the toilet. He stepped inside and knelt down beside him.

“Don’t…” Hinata groaned as he lifted his head and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “This is… so gross…”

“It is… not.” Ushijima lied and Hinata laughed weakly. “I’ll go get you some water.” He slowly stood up and stepped out of the bathroom. As he moved down the hall, he grabbed the shoes that Hinata had kicked off and placed them in the entryway with the others.

He returned a few moments later, to find that another wave of nausea sent Hinata straight back to the toilet. His small frame curled around it, shaking as he tried to control his stomach. Ushijima knelt down beside him on the cold tile floor, and brought his hand to Hinata’s back again, rubbing soothing circles in hopes to quell his queasiness.

“Here, drink.” He said softly.

“Okay…” Hinata croaked out, his throat no doubt raw from all the vomiting.

Ushijima reached down to gently help him sit up. Hinata moved slowly and languid; he leaned against the cabinet, eyes barely open. He blinked twice, then sighed.

“Oof…” Hinata grinned lazily, “I feel a lot better now.”

Ushijima smiled, “I’m glad.” It was an unfortunate thing, but getting some of the alcohol and sugar out of him would make him feel better. Ushijima reached out to brush Hinata’s soft hair back from his sweaty forehead. “Drink some more water, and I will get you to bed.”

A shaking hand brought the water bottle to his lips. Ushijima reached down to help steady it, holding it as Hinata sipped slow sips until he seemed satisfied. The ginger let go and Ushijima caught the bottle before any could spill. It was obvious that he was exhausted. He needed to get him to bed.

“Alrig—” He stopped, suddenly faced with Hinata’s amber eyes so close to his. For a moment, it was all he could see; all he could focus on. But then he felt a light pressure on his thighs and looked down. Hinata was inching closer, his legs spread as he found a comfortable seat on his lap. “Hinata…?”

“Your eyes… are so…” Hinata’s voice was quiet, soft breath tickling his nose and lips. “So pretty!”

Ushijima held his breath. His heart hammered rapidly against his chest. The pressure on his lap was hard to ignore, even more so as Hinata moved around.

No. Control yourself. He is not in his right mind.

“Thank you.” He said quickly. “Hinata, we—” His voice failed him; he was stuck in that beautiful stare again. The sweet, honey color that had easily become his favorite. He could stare at them forever. “If anyone’s eyes are pretty…” He whispered, “they would be yours.”

Hinata’s cheeks flushed and he leaned in to rest his face against Ushijima’s shoulder. “…Shima thought so too… at first…”

“Don’t talk about him.” Ushijima said suddenly, surprising even himself. He hated whenever Hinata’s ex boyfriend came up in conversation; and after the earlier confrontation, he wasn’t in the mood to talk about any man in Hinata’s life.

Hinata lifted his head listlessly, his nose brushing against Ushijima’s cheek as he moved. The touch sent a shiver down his spine and as Hinata leaned closer, all Ushijima could focus on was his lips. The same soft, pink lips that had been trapped in his mind for months. He shouldn’t feel this way for Hinata. He shouldn't want these things from someone in Hinata’s position. Without warning, he pulled back from the oncoming kiss; turning his head and gently guiding Hinata’s face away from his own.

“Toshi…?” The sound of Hinata’s voice cracking made him want to give in. To give Hinata whatever he wanted at that moment, but he couldn’t do this.

“Not like this.” He whispered.

Hinata sniffled and rubbed at his eyes. “Because… I threw up…? Or you… you just don’t like it…”

The way Hinata’s eyes glistened would have normally set his heart on fire, however this wasn't their usual sparkle. This was heart wrenching. “Because…” He tried to find the right words: the words that would convey his concerns and not hurt Hinata more. “You… you are not in your right mind.” He cradled Hinata’s face in his hand, letting his thumb brush over the soft skin of his cheek. “We can discuss this more tomorrow.”

Hinata leaned into the touch, lips curling into a small smile. “Okay…”

Hinata

He had been awake for the last hour, but he was not getting out of his bed anytime soon. His head was pounding and stomach uneasy — any movement, no matter how slight, made him want to throw up.

What the hell was he thinking? Oikawa kept pouring him drinks and he couldn’t refuse. It was so stupid. But it has also been fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gone out like that. When he was with Terushima, a night like that would have been impossible. He never would have allowed it, and he definitely wouldn’t have taken care of him as kindly as Ushijima had.

Even with how hazy his memory was, he knew that Ushijima had gotten him home, gave him water, cleaned him up after a vomit explosion, and put him to bed.

He closed his eyes, trying to put the pieces together. He could remember dancing with Yamaguchi and Oikawa. The crowd surging around them violently as the music swelled and the bass dropped. He remembered a pair of hands on his waist; the strange fingers roaming his small frame. He remembered an argument, getting pushed and dragged, and… Ushijima.

Ushijima’s hands were on him. Steady. Strong. Practically carrying him through the club and then the apartment.

They had been close. Really close.

Close enough to feel Ushijima’s breath on his skin.

‘Your eyes are so… so pretty!’

He shot up, eyes wide and immediately regretted the movement. His head was spinning and he thought that he might actually get sick again. Not only that, but the nauseating feeling only worsened with the realization that he had done something stupid.

He tried to kiss Ushijima.

He tried to KISS Ushijima!

He tried to kiss Ushijima, while covered in his own vomit, sitting beside a toilet.

What the hell was wrong with him?!

His hand shot to his cheek, feeling where Ushijima’s had been the night before. Gentle and soothing and guiding his lips away from his own.

Ushijima had refused the kiss. He had outright refused him. And that hurt worse than the pain in his temples.

A knock on the door shocked him back into reality and he croaked out a broken, “Wh-what?”

“It’s Ushijima.” He stated, as if there would have possibly been someone else in the apartment. “May I come in?”

Hinata looked down at the messy bed, his sweaty clothes — he could only imagine how gross he, himself, must look. He fussed with his hair but ultimately gave up. “Yeah.”

There was a moment of quiet, where he thought that maybe Ushijima wouldn’t actually come inside. Maybe he would leave and come back later, giving Hinata some time to pull himself together. But that hope was short-lived. The door opened and light poured into the room, blocked only by Ushijima’s large frame.

Hinata blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness and when he looked up again, Ushijima was standing by the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

Without any energy left to lie, Hinata answered plainly. “I feel like shit.”

Ushijima’s frown worsened. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic pill bottle. He opened it, shook two out onto his palm and held them out to Hinata. “Take these.”

Hinata stared at the two little white pills for a moment and without a word, grabbed them and swallowed them dry. Only then did he see the cup of water in his hand.

“Oh… thank you.” He took it and sipped at it. Still wary of putting anything in his stomach.

Ushijima looked him over. The stare made him a little uneasy. “I will make you some breakfast.” He announced suddenly. “Ramen… maybe. Would that be alright?”

Hinata nodded despite the fact that he didn’t feel like eating anything. His stomach was in knots, and he didn’t trust it to keep the food down.

“Alright.” Ushijima took a step toward the door, but something in his gut told him to stop him.

Wait. Wait!

“Toshi… about yesterday—”

“You needn’t say anything.” Ushijima cut him off.

Hinata hated how quickly he said that. “No I… I do.” He swallowed. “I was being um… pretty ridiculous yesterday, and you shouldn’t have had to deal with all that.”

“I didn’t mind.” Ushijima replied. “You wanted to let loose, and you had fun. I was glad to be able to help with that.”

Hinata nodded slightly. He should have expected that response. Ushijima was used to Suga’s chaotic personality – he could only imagine how much more nonsensical the night would have been if both Suga and Oikawa were there.

“I should get started on your breakfast.” Ushijima moved toward the door. “Take your time getting up and make sure to drink the water.” Then, he was gone; the door shut behind him, and Hinata was alone again. He slowly sipped the water a few times, then sighed.

They ate their breakfast in silence. Hinata didn’t have much energy to spare for conversation, and Ushijima was his usually quiet self. He tried to not let it bother him, but the unfinished discussion from earlier was still weighing on him. There was more he wanted — no, needed to know.

He set his chopsticks down and stared at the empty bowl. If he didn’t ask about it, Ushijima wouldn't tell him. They’d never talk about it, and Hinata was sure he would go crazy.

“So… about the… almost kissing you thing.” He looked up from his bowl and the way Ushijima’s face lit up like a furnace almost made him laugh. Almost. “I don’t… remember much.” Hinata said softly, which was (of course) a lie. Details were missing, but he knew what had happened.

“That’s alright.” Ushijima replied just as quietly. “If it is easier, we can forget the whole thing.”

That familiar ache returned to his chest. Forget the whole thing? No, he didn’t want that. As embarrassing as it was, Hinata didn’t want to just pretend that it didn’t happen. He didn’t hate the idea of kissing Ushijima – which confused him all the more. He should hate it, he should fear it – kissing, loving, a relationship. After everything that he had gone through, it’s what he expected.

But Ushijima felt… different. He wasn’t terrifying or mean or abusive. Hinata never felt uncomfortable with him. He was never scared.

“I don’t… want to forget it.” He watched Ushijima for a reaction, but the man was trying hard to keep his composure. “Rather… I wish I could remember it better. I wish I hadn’t been so drunk.” Then maybe Ushijima would have actually kissed him.

He didn’t think it was possible, but Ushijima’s cheeks got redder. The man swallowed and avoided his gaze. “We… should not.”

Hinata narrowed his eyes slightly, “should not what?”

Ushijima was quiet for a while; his brows furrowed like he was trying too hard to figure something out. Hinata hated it; he hated the silence. He was finally getting somewhere with Ushijima – did the almost kiss really mess everything up so badly?

Ushijima let out a quiet sigh, slowly looking up to meet Hinata’s gaze. “We should not go down this road.” He slowly stood up. “I have no intention of continuing what nearly happened last night, and neither should you.” He gathered the bowls and turned away from the table.

Hinata’s eyes widened.

What…? Was he serious?

“Why?” The question left him before he could stop himself, his voice shaking slightly. But Ushijima didn’t seem to care.

“Do I need a reason?” He asked in reply. “Nothing happened, and nothing will happen.” He took a step away from the table.

Hinata shot up to his feet, “Toshi!”

“I said no.” Ushijima snapped, then disappeared into the kitchen.

Chapter Text

Hinata 

Afternoon sun filtered through the soft blue curtains, blocking out any real chance for him to sleep. Not that he’d had much luck with that anyway. 

They hadn’t spoken about the almost kiss again. And things were… weird. It was like Ushijima was purposely putting distance between them, and he didn’t like it. They had spent the entire day awkwardly maneuvering around each other. Ushijma cooked their meals, they ate in silence. They watched a movie but Ushijima made sure to sit in his own arm chair, as far away from Hinata as he could get. 

The worst part about it was the fact that Ushijima didn’t give him a reason. He just said no . Nothing else. No, long explanation that spared any hurt feelings — no. Just plain, unyielding rejection. And all that did was give Hinata plenty of time to wonder about the why. To go over every little thing he had done since meeting Ushijima and overthink every scenario, every conversation they had, everything. 

The conclusion? It was his fault.

Hinata knew his flaws. Terushima had so kindly listed them out for him time and time again. They were obvious and annoying and of course Ushijima would think so too. 

When he really thought about it, their personalities completely clashed. Ushijima was quiet and composed, while he was loud and annoying, clumsy and hyper and broken. 

Ushijima didn’t want him. And why would he? When there were so many other people — people who weren’t so skittish and defective. People who didn’t flinch when he reached out or panicked about the littlest things.

He probably wanted someone normal. 

He deserved someone normal. 

The familiar beeping of the keypad interrupted the quiet, followed by the door swinging open. “We’re home!” Suga’s singsong voice filled the apartment. 

Immediately, Hinata shot to his feet; ready to run out and greet them. But as he crossed the bedroom, he remembered who else would be there. 

Ushijima. 

He slowed to a stop, fingertips grazing the doorknob. He didn’t want to face him. Not again, not yet, and certainly not in front of Suga. He knew how easily people could read his expressions, and Suga was no exception. He’d know immediately that something was wrong. 

Hinata turned, pressing his back to the door and slowly slid down to take a seat on the floor. He couldn’t go out there.

“Toshi!” Suga’s voice carried across the quiet apartment clearly. “It’s good to see you!”

“You as well.” Ushijima’s deep voice replied. “Did you enjoy your trip?”

“Uh, yeah!” Suga laughed, “it was awesome! Right, Dai?”

“Very awesome.” Daichi agreed, his voice telling Hinata just how exhausted he was. The sound of luggage hitting the floor, then a sigh; Hinata bit back a smile. Daichi was a saint for putting up with Suga’s nonsense; he can only imagine how many things Suga dragged his boyfriend to on the trip. 

“Why are you alone?” Suga asked suddenly. “Where’s Hinata?” 

Hinata’s chest tightened, the smile on his face immediately falling.

“He is in his room.” Ushijima answered monotonously.

“Sleeping?” Suga asked.

To that, Ushijima didn’t offer a verbal answer, but Hinata could imagine the man’s broad shoulders lifting with a shrug. 

“Ah, alright.” Suga sighed, “I’ll go bother him later. He should rest.”

Hinata’s body relaxed against the door. He had more time. Thankfully, Suga was kind enough to not interrupt his naps – or, what was supposed to be a nap.

“Oikawa told me about your wild night out.” Hinata could hear the smile on Suga’s face. 

“Wh-what?” Three days ago, Ushijima’s sputtering would have made Hinata chuckle. But now it just left him aching. 

Suga laughed, “Yeah! He sent a few photos too. It looked like you guys had a lot of fun. Thanks for looking after him, Toshi.” 

“It’s my job.” Ushijima answered plainly, and the words — as true as they were — hurt. It was his job. Ushijima was just doing his job; looking after him like Suga had asked him too. Like he was hired to. Maybe that was why he refused to even talk about what happened. It was possible that he didn’t want to mix his work with a relationship. He wanted to accept that, but all it did was piss him off more. Such a lazy, lame excuse. 

About an hour later, the knock on the door interrupted Hinata’s still unsuccessful attempt at sleeping. He had the blankets tucked around him like a cocoon; secure and warm. But even that wasn’t enough to soothe him to sleep. 

“Hinata?” Suga called, the door creaked open softly. 

Feigning having just woken up, Hinata stretched an arm over his head. “Mmm… Hm?” He could hear Suga’s light footsteps speeding over to the bed and braced himself for an embrace. Suga landed beside him on the mattress, slid an arm around him and dragged him in close. Laughter slipped out of his lips and he snuggled closer to his friend. 

“Did you have a good nap, sleeping beauty?” Suga nuzzled the top of his hair.

“Yep!” Hinata lied easily. “How was your trip?” 

“Oh! It was amazing!” Suga cheered. “I ate so much food, holy shit! Hinata, next time, I’m bringing you. You’d LOVE it there!”

“Yeah?” He liked that idea, but he liked the fact that the subject has shifted from him to something else entirely even more. Suga talked about their trip, sharing everything he hoped to hear (and some he wished he hadn’t), for what seemed like the next hour. And Hinata felt himself starting to forget the troubles of the weekend.

Unfortunately, that feeling wouldn’t last. 

A day later, Hinata sat on the exam table, watching as the doctor examined his arm. The cast had been cut off and tossed aside, thankfully no longer needed. Suga sat in the chair opposite him, listening intently as the doctor explained everything. It was lucky that the appointment had been after Suga’s and Daichi’s return. At least now, there was a buffer between himself and Ushijima.

“Make sure you use the arm often to help build up any lost muscle. However, don’t strain yourself. You may still experience some pain and tenderness, but since you haven’t needed any strong pain medication, over the counter pills should suffice.” 

He looked up at the doctor, blinking while he tried to piece together what was said. He had barely been listening

“Okay,” He agreed, though still feeling a little lost. 

“Give us a call if anything bothers you.” The Doctor smiled and Hinata returned it. 

As they made their way out of the hospital, Hinata stretched his arm slowly. The air on it felt strange, tickling his skin unfamiliarly. He didn’t mind it though; the cast was gone and that was a good thing. 

Beside him, Suga was furiously typing on his phone. Likely telling Daichi that everything had gone well. His expression was pinched, shoulder tense and it took Hinata a minute to figure out that he wasn’t worried, he was excited . He was trying to contain it until they were outside and away from the patients. 

And (just like Hinata expected) as soon as they stepped outside, Suga thrust his hands in the air and let out a loud cheer, startling both Ushijima and an older couple nearby. 

“Sugawara, you should not draw attention to yourself like that.” Ushijima scolded, but Suga didn’t pay him any mind.

“I can’t help it! I’m so happy!” He yelled again, face split by a wide grin. He grabbed Hinata’s now unwrapped arm and lifted it up. “You’re free! How does it feel?” 

Hinata watched his hand flop around as Suga wiggled his arm and laughed. “It’s weird! I was finally getting used to the cast!” 

Suga sighed, slowly lowered their hands, and pulled him into a hug. “I’m glad you’re all healed. That was the last thing.”

Hinata leaned against his friend, letting out a breath. Aside from the tremendous and crushing mental and emotional wounds . Though, Suga probably knew that; he was just being nice. 

“Let’s get some lunch to celebrate!” Suga released him and pulled out his phone, beginning to search for a place. 

Hinata tucked his hands into his coat pockets and leaned against the brick wall of the hospital. He watched as Suga made a call, reserving a table at a nearby place. 

Ushijima wasn’t paying him any attention. Well, he wasn’t ignoring him, but it wasn’t the same. Whatever friendship they had formed apparently wasn’t enough to get through that awkward almost kiss. 

He let out a sigh. 

It didn’t matter anymore. 

The restaurant Suga picked wasn’t crowded, giving them at least a little bit of privacy. Hinata slid into the booth, slowly peeling off his scarf and coat. Suga sat across from him and did the same. Ushijima however stood frozen for a few seconds. Clearly not sure where to sit. And Hinata couldn’t tell if he wanted Ushijima beside him or not. 

In the end, he chose Suga. And Hinata had to ignore the tiny twinge in his chest when he sat down beside his employer. 

Suga and Hinata chatted throughout the meal, but he wasn’t feeling overly talkative despite how easy Suga made it for him. Ushijima’s looming presence left him feeling awkward. He hadn’t spoken to him other than a brief greeting when they left the apartment that morning, and it seemed that wasn’t going to change. So Hinata focused on his meal instead. Allowing the expensive food to distract him. 

It worked. The food was delicious, and Suga kept piling more of his own dish on Hinata’s plate. With how much Suga was mothering him, he had put on about six pounds in the last month. He tried not to let it bother him, but it felt strange being excited and happy about the weight gain. Terushima’s words were as ingrained in his mind as the scars on his body. Reminding him how every pound he gained made him ugly and unworthy. It took some time to wrap his head around the positive weight gain, and it still didn't feel completely right. Still, under Suga's careful watch, he was getting better. 

A soft ringtone rang from Ushijima’s pocket and the man quickly retrieved the device. Hinata glanced at it, watching as the picture of a man with dark red hair popped up on the screen. 

“I have to take this.” Ushijima said as he stood up “I will be back shortly.” He picked up the phone and brought it to his ear. Hinata tried to ignore him, but he could help the way his eyes followed that broad back as he stepped outside. 

“Okay, what the hell is going on?”

Hinata’s head whipped around to look at Suga. “Wh– nothing!”

“Hinata,” the way he sighed felt oddly maternal. It made Hinata want to open up, but not here. Not with Ushijima so close; close enough to interrupt or interject or tell Suga how absolutely stupid the idea of them dating would be. 

“It’s… it’s nothing Suga.” He said softly. 

Still, Suga wasn’t convinced. He reached his hand out to gently grab Hinata’s wrist. “Hinata, did Ushijima do something to you?”

For a brief moment, Hinata considered how to answer that question. Because yes, technically something happened with Ushijima, but it wasn’t what Suga thought. “No.” Hinata answered finally. “No. He didn’t do anything. We just...” He watched as Ushijima finished the phone call; his chest tightened. “Suga please, I don’t want to talk about it… here.”

Suga nodded, his brow pinched as he held back the questions he surely wanted to ask. “Okay. We can talk later. Or… whenever you’re ready to. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.” 

“I am. Promise.” He wasn’t, but he would be. As soon as he was home and away from Ushijima. “I’ll tell you everything when we get back.” 

Thankfully, that seemed to placate Suga’s worries. They finished their meals quietly and not long after, Hinata found himself back in Suga’s apartment. And like he promised, as soon as Ushijima was out of the picture, Hinata told Suga and Daichi everything. The cuddling, the club, dancing with the stranger, how Ushijima stepped in. How he cared for him when he was drunk and acting stupid — how he almost kissed him. 

He didn’t tell them how badly he wanted to. How even now, after everything, he wanted to. He liked Ushijima. 

It was inevitable. They had spent so much time together, Ushijima had been there with him through the worst part of his life. He was kind and warm and cute in an awkward sort of way.

How could he not have feelings for him? 

Ushijima 

Satori’s shop was small, but he had made use of the space well. Brightly lit shelves lined two of the walls, allowing for ample desserts to be laid out and displayed. There were a handful of small tables beside the large windows; hanging plants and carefully closed paintings filled out any empty space without overcrowding. It was nice; it was cozy. He had always found Satori’s presence comforting. It was why they had stayed so close throughout the years, but that feeling had somehow extended to his shop as well. 

“So,” the lanky redhead placed a steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of him then sat down across from him. “Tell me again why you’re now ignoring the guy you have a crush on?” 

Ushijima’s cheeks heated up at the accusation. “I do not have a crush on him.” 

Satori’s crimson eyes narrowed slightly and he began spooning freshly made whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate. “Uh huh. Okay. So this conversation will go better and faster if you just, you know, tell the truth.”

Ushijima sighed, already giving in to his friend’s curiosity. He didn't have the energy to try and lie to Satori when he knew it wouldn’t work. “Saturday evening, we went out to a dance club. He was invited by one of Sugawara’s costars.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You went out to the club?” Satori’s lips curled into a smile. “Oh man! I wish I could have seen that. Toshi dancing in a club—”

“I did not dance.” Ushijima quickly corrected him. 

“That’s even worse!” Satori added another scoop of whipped cream. Ushijima quickly swatted his hand away. “Toshi, come on! He asked you to go out with him and you didn’t even dance!” 

Ushijima stared at the mountain of whipped cream on his cup. “He did not ask me to go with him. I was assigned to protect him by Sugawara. I had to attend.” 

Satori rolled his eyes and stuffed the spoon of whipped cream into his mouth, mumbling, “Just what every guy wants to hear.”

It was true that he had no choice but to go with Hinata, but that was not the reason he did. Hinata was excited about it, more so than he had been about anything lately, and he wanted to be supportive. He wanted to see Hinata enjoying the night out, and selfishly wanted to be a part of it. 

“I wanted to go with him.” He admitted quietly. “I… enjoyed the time we spent together. Though with the others around it was not easy to… it is easier to be with him when it is just the two of us.”

Satori rested his chin on his hand and smiled, “You’re so cute, Toshi.” 

Ushijima stilled. He had been called many things in his life — brute, intimidating, daunting  — but cute? Never cute. Satori might be the only person aside from his parents who thought so. 

“Now tell me what else happened,” Satori continued before taking a slow sip of his drink.

He nodded, and quietly continued. “He was drunk. Oikawa gave him too much, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. We left only after a man attempted to make a move.” He felt the rising tension in his neck when he recalled how roughly the man grabbed Hinata. “I… stepped in to stop it and we left shortly after.” He chose to ignore the knowing smile on Satori’s face in favor of continuing to get through the story. “When we returned to Sugawara’s home, he was sick. Though he felt better afterwards. And we… talked a bit. Then he…” Heat crept up his cheeks at the memory. “He told me that I had… pretty eyes.” The last bit was mumbled in hopes that Satori wouldn’t hear, but the look on his face made it obvious that he had. 

“Pretty — he said you have pretty eyes?” The redhead slammed his spoon down onto the table and put his face in his hands. "OHMYGOD Toshi!!” He looked as if he couldn’t contain himself; his entire body was practically vibrating. “He’s right, of course! Your eyes are beautiful! But he actually said that! AH!” He dropped his hands and smiled wider than before. 

His excitement left Ushijima feeling… strange. Like he should be the one giddy and delighted, not Satori. And, while his feelings were never outwardly expressive, he did feel it. The flutter in his stomach; the tightness in his chest and quickened heartbeat. His cheeks were hot and uncomfortable and he didn’t doubt that they would match Satori’s hair at that moment. 

“Enough.” He begged Satori to stop, and thankfully his friend composed himself. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Satori giggled, “it’s just, that’s really cute of him! But go on. Please. I’ll be quiet!” 

Ushijima doubted that, but continued regardless. “That night, Hinata… he attempted to kiss me, but I stopped him.” He added quickly, remembering just how inebriated Hinata was. “I could not allow him to do that when he was so incapacitated. I would never take advantage of someone in that position.”

“I know, Toshi. I know.” Satori’s hand came to his arm, squeezing reassuringly and he felt himself calming down. “You did the right thing. He was in no shape to make a decision like that.”

At the very least, he could feel good about that decision. He had respected Hinata, taking care of him rather than taking advantage of him. 

“Did you two talk about it?” Satori slowly let him go. “After he sobered up, I mean.” 

He thought back to the morning after. To the brief conversation over breakfast. Hinata had started to talk about it, he had wanted to talk about it but, like a fool, Ushijima had stopped it without a second thought. 

“We… did.” 

Satori snorted, “bullshit.” 

He thought about just stopping there. Having had enough of the conversation already, but that wouldn’t solve anything. And he desperately wanted to solve this. Hinata had not been acting himself after that night, after Ushijima had refused him, and he hated it. He didn’t realize how much he missed Hinata’s presence until it wasn’t there anymore. Until he had shut himself in his room and avoided him as best he could. 

Satori’s expression soured. “So you just… told him no?”

“Yes.” He answered.

“Oh my god…” Satori rubbed a hand down his face, but Ushijima wasn’t about to back down.

“He is finally able to have his own life and make his own decisions.” Ushijima defended. “I won’t push my desires onto him. He needs to figure out what he wants without the added pressure from me.”

“But you didn’t tell him any of that?” Satori snapped back.

Ushijima shook his head. 

“Did you ever consider how you completely rejecting him might make him feel? After everything he’s been through? He’s probably feeling worthless, ugly, pathetic—”

“Why would you say that?” Ushijima snapped. 

“Because the last person to show him romantic affection put him in the hospital! And the second he felt brave enough and open to the possibility of a new romantic relationship, you rejected him! And you did it without even giving him a reason!” 

He had not considered that. He had not thought about how Hinata would feel. He made the decision that night while Hinata was asleep and thought it was the best possible choice. To end things before anything progressed further. 

No complications, no hurt feelings; but that plan had clearly backfired.

Ushijima let out a quiet sigh. “You’re right.” 

Ahead of him, Satori nodded as he ate another spoonful of whipped cream. “Don’t you think you should ask the kid what he thinks? Cause it sounds to me like he likes you.”

Ushijima gaped. Hinata liking him ? No. That wasn’t possible. At least not in the way he wanted. They had grown to be friends, possibly good friends if Ushijima managed to fix his mistake.

“Satori—”

“He literally called your eyes pretty, Toshi! Pretty! ” 

Ushijima felt his cheeks heat up with the memory. Hinata in his lap, his hands on his face, his lips so close. He, too, wished that Hinata had not been so drunk. If Hinata had been sober, he could have kissed him. 

He would have kissed him. He would have kept him there in his lap, allowed his hands to roam the young man’s lithe frame, feel his soft ginger hair — 

“What are you thinking about right now?” Satori’s sly remark interrupted his thoughts.

His eyes fell to the mug of now lukewarm hot chocolate. “Nothing.” 

“I think that if you were honest with him about your feelings — even about how you don’t want to pressure him — he would be open to it. He likes hanging out with you, right? And he trusts you?” 

“Yes.” Or at least, he did. Ushijima could only hope that he hadn’t ruined everything. Honestly now, he couldn’t tell if he had ruined everything or not. Hinata hadn’t made any more attempts to talk to him after that morning. 

“Then, I think, you should give it a chance.” Satori continued, “And you need to talk to him. Have a real conversation explaining why you’re so hesitant. I know that’s not your thing, but you should try. For his sake and yours. I know you’re nervous and that you don’t want to scare him, but you also deserve something good, Toshi.” 

Ushijima nodded along, but he wasn’t entirely sure he agreed. While he deserved a chance, Hinata deserved more than his uncertainty and hesitation; he deserved to know how Ushijima truly felt, and maybe then they could move forward together. Even if it was just as friends, Ushijima would be grateful. 

Chapter Text

Hinata 

Ushijima’s sudden change of mind was… surprising to say the least. After the awkward car ride and lunch he hadn’t expected Ushijima to knock on his bedroom door and ask to talk to him. Yet, here they stood; Ushijima awkwardly crammed in the doorway of his bedroom and Hinata trying not to let his anxieties get the better of him. 

“The way I reacted to the… situation was wrong.” Hinata hated the way he said situation. Like their almost kiss was a problem that needed to be fixed. And, in some ways it had been. But he still didn’t like it. “I should have been more clear.”

“Yeah, you should have.” Hinata bit out quietly.

Ushijima only nodded and was quiet for a few moments. “That night… I wanted to kiss you, but you were drunk, and I did not want to take advantage of that.” 

Hinata nodded slightly, the fight slowly leaving him. “Yeah… that’s fair.” Even as angry as he was, Hinata knew that it would have been wrong of Ushijima to act on his impulses when he was so inebriated. Not only that, but it would have bothered Hinata to know that their first kiss happened when he was too drunk to remember it. 

“Hinata,” Ushijima sighed softly, his brows pinched in frustration. “I was… unprepared for these feelings I have for you. And while I admit to having these feelings, I don’t intend to follow through on them.” He added before Hinata could get a word in. “You have just gotten out of an abusive relationship. This isn’t the time to rush into something new.” 

Hinata barely believed it. In the same breath, Ushijima had admitted to having feelings for him and rejected him. 

“I want to remain your friend, if possible.” Hinata finally looked up at Ushijima and was met with that familiar soft hazel stare. “I hope you understand.” Ushijima turned away from him, and he moved down the hall. Hinata felt his heart sink, his feet mindlessly following Ushijima into the living room where they found Suga and Daichi waiting. 

“Sugawara, are you ready?” Ushijima asked without looking back. 

“Um… yep!” Suga shot Hinata a look as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “Got a busy day ahead of us. I’ll probably be home late, so don’t wait for me to eat.” He gave Daichi a quick kiss, then trotted over to the door. “Alright, let’s go!” 

And just like that, they were gone. Out into the hall, headed to work. Hinata stood frozen in the threshold of the living room, his eyes glued to the now shut front door. 

What the hell was that? Did Ushijima seriously think that he could just decide for him? That he knew what was best for him? Ushijima was being careful and cautious with him, but even that was getting annoying. He told Hinata that he doesn’t want to pressure him into a decision, but then he doesn’t respect the decision he made? 

“Bullshit.” He snapped under his breath. 

“You okay?” He heard Daichi ask, but he didn’t have an answer for him. 

Then, he was moving again. Without thought, without a plan. Motivated by pure frustration, he ran to the door, kicked off his house slippers and chased after them.

Ushijima

He had expected to feel better about the situation, but after talking with Hinata it seemed the opposite. He had done what Satori suggested and shared his feelings, his concerns about the relationship, and all it did was leave him feeling… off.  

Hinata didn’t look at all relieved like he had hoped. He looked confused and hurt. Though less so than before, so that was a small mercy. Maybe he hadn’t explained it well enough. He had tried to be direct and clear but, according to Satori, that wasn’t always how it came across. 

Sugawara pressed the button on the elevator and bounced on the balls of his feet. His face was pinched in thought; clearly he wanted to know more about the situation, but what could Ushijima say? He thought he had fixed it, that they would be able to go back to the way they were, but that didn’t seem to be the case at all. 

All of a sudden he heard the slamming of a door, the loud quick footsteps of someone running toward them and before he could turn around, there was a harsh yank on the back of his shirt. Ushijima froze and felt a small body crash into him. 

“Whoa — Hinata!” Suga reached around him with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” 

“Fine!” Hinata answered quickly. 

Ushijima turned finally, feeling as breathless as Hinata looked. “Wh—” He swallowed back the fear clawing its way up his throat. “What is it?”

“Toshi—” Hinata sucked in a breath, puffed out his chest and squared his shoulders. The sudden display of determination made his heart warm. He missed this Hinata Shōyō. “Ushijima Wakatoshi! Will you go on a date with me?”

The relief he felt melted away in the moment the question was asked. Ushijima balked at the smaller man. “Hinata, I—”

“I know you want to be respectful!” Hinata interjected, holding his hand up. “And that you don’t want to rush me into anything but… I’m… I'm not scared when I’m with you. I like being with you. I… like you.” 

I like you.

I like you.

I like you.

His face lit up with bright, hot blush, coloring his cheeks and ears a crimson nearly matching the scarf tucked around Suga’s neck. He had been aware of Hinata’s feelings – or the possibility of them – yet hearing it said aloud was something else entirely. 

Sugawara nudged the back of his arm, pulling him back into the moment. He sucked in a breath, bringing his focus back to Hinata — who was waiting for his answer. 

Ushijima studied his face. Searching for any sign of hesitation, any fear. What he found instead was that red hot determination searing behind his eyes. “Are you sure?” 

Hinata nodded, his body relaxing as he finally seemed to catch his breath. “Terushima…” Ushijima nearly scowled at the man’s name. “He never loved me. Not really. What we had wasn’t love.” Hinata’s head drooped slightly, his voice wavering. 

Ushijima wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him close, shelter him from the terrible memories. But he held himself back, he needed Hinata to get through this, to be sure. 

“It… and I don’t know exactly what a real relationship is supposed to look like. Or… how I’m supposed to feel.” Hinata finally smiled, slight and small, but the sight of it put Ushijima at ease. The redhead’s eyes lifted and drifted to Suga for a moment. “Suga said that it’s the feeling of always wanting to be with that person. Enjoying the time together, even when you’re not doing anything.”

Ushijima glanced at the ashen haired man briefly, who looked a little too pleased with the situation. 

“That’s how I feel with you.” Hinata continued, drawing Ushijima’s gaze back to him. “So… will you please take me on a date?” 

Ushijima smiled, his hand reaching to lightly brush against Hinata’s fingers. He hadn’t expected the man to, but Hinata wrapped his fingers around his and squeezed. Making sure that Ushijima didn’t pull away — and he had no plans to. 

“Yes.” He answered finally.

“Yeah?” Hinata shouted and Ushijima’s smile widened. “Awesome! Okay! I— this is great!” He bounced in his spot excitedly, gently jostling Ushijima’s arm.

The elevator doors opened behind them; Ushijima glanced over his shoulder. Sugawara moved inside, his hand holding the doors open as he waited for them. 

“Ah, I—”

“Oh! Sorry! You have to go!” Despite that fact, Hinata still hadn’t let go of him. “We can talk about it later! I, uh, I’ll text you!”

Ushijima nodded, “alright.”

Silence washed over them as they stood there, only broken by the clearing of Sugawara’s throat. Ushijima felt his body instantly grow tense but Hinata only smiled. 

“Sorry!” Hinata’s laughter rang through the empty hall as he untangled their fingers. “I’ll see you later!” 

With his hand finally free, Ushijima stepped back into the open elevator and watched Hinata’s smiling face until the doors shut. The moment they were alone Sugawara perked up beside him.

“So that was—”

“Please don’t.” Ushijima mumbled.

Suga’s smile widened as he tried and failed to hold back a laugh. 

Thankfully, Suga hadn’t brought up the date or Hinata’s confession again and they arrived at the studio without issue. And while Ushijima was relieved that he avoided the onslaught of teasing surely to come someday, he was still in shock. 

He was going on a date with Hinata. 

Hinata liked him. Hinata wanted him . 

His mind was reeling. There wasn’t a plan in his head; he hadn’t expected to get this far. But now he had to plan a date. Something worthy of Hinata – something incredible. Something far better than a night out at a club. 

He whipped out his phone and dialed, bringing it up to his ear as it rang. 

“Toshiiii!” Satori’s voice answered after the first ring. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Ushijima squared his shoulders, determination leaking into his small smile, “I have a request.”

Satori chuckled. “alright Miracle Boy. Lay it on me! ”

Hinata 

It hadn’t taken the two of them long to decide on when their date would take place. After dropping Suga at home, Ushijima had a solid plan in his head – a plan that he only shared a few details with Hinata. Normally, the unknown would have worried him; but Sugawara and Daichi had approved Ushijima’s ‘plan’, so he wasn’t too concerned. About that at least. 

“Are you sure this looks okay?” He spun around, showing off his fourth outfit in the last hour. 

“You look amazing!” Suga said from the armchair. “Just like you did in the last three choices. Honestly, Hinata, you look good in everything.” 

Hinata groaned. Obviously Suga was trying to be supportive and kind but it was not helping him choose. “Sugaaaa!!” 

The ashen haired man laughed and stood up. “Okay. Personally, I liked the second one the most.” 

Hinata tore through the pile of clothing to pull out the corresponding pieces. A pair of navy pants and a gray and white striped button down. 

“This one?” 

Suga nodded. “It’s comfortable while still being dressy, and it looks nice with your hair.” He reached up to ruffle Hinata’s wild locks but stopped and Hinata let out a breath. He had spent almost an hour trying to get his hair to do anything other than the usual curled chaos and had finally tamed it into gentle waves. “Are you nervous?” 

Hinata nodded. “Yeah. But not about Toshi! Just… the whole dating thing. With Terushima everything was…” Horrible. It was terrible. In the beginning everything had seemed normal, but looking back he could see the signs. Those little red flags that he stupidly ignored for the sake of his relationship. 

“Listen,” Suga took his hands in his. “It’s normal to be nervous, especially after everything you went through. And trust me, Ushijima isn’t like that asshole. But,” his voice lowered into something soft and serious, “if you want to leave for any reason, big or small, you call me and we’ll come pick you up. Okay?”

Hinata nodded slowly at the offer. It wasn’t that he thought Ushijima would ever do something to hurt him, or that Ushijima would even keep him out if Hinata asked to go back home. He wasn’t like that. Still, he was grateful for the reassurance. “Thanks.” He answered weakly. 

Suga nodded. “What time is he picking you up?” 

“In about…” Hinata checked his phone. “45 MINUTES?!” He dropped the device back onto the bed. “Oh my god — Suga! Suga, that's so soon!” 

“Hey, hey!” Suga grabbed his hands but even stuck in one spot, Hinata couldn’t stop moving. “Everything’s going to be fine. He’ll get here like normal and pick you up. You’ll go eat some fancy food, hang out. Just a normal day with Ushijima, okay? It’ll be fine.” 

A normal day – sure. He could do that. Only that this wasn’t a normal day. This was a date. The amount of added pressure was enough to make Hinata want to run and hide and cancel the evening – something he knew that Ushijima would ultimately accept, however he also knew that he had to try. After all, he was the one who had pushed for this to happen. He couldn’t chicken out now.

“Yeah.. okay.” Hinata’s shoulders slowly relaxed. “And… Maybe I’ll have some more time. Maybe he’ll be late.” 

“Unlikely. Ushijima is annoyingly punctual.” Suga huffed. “But don’t worry! He told me everything he’s planning and you are gonna love it! Promise! Everything is going to be fine.” 

And precisely forty-five minutes later, Ushijima arrived for their date. Daichi let him in and everything felt… normal. They talked for a minute before Suga bounced over to interrupt and usher Ushijima into the living room where Hinata was awkwardly sitting on the very edge of the couch. 

He shot up the moment he saw Ushijima, jaw dropping as he took in the man. He wasn’t particularly dressed up, but he looked good. Really good. Too good. Hinata’s face warmed as he looked Ushijima up and down and up and down, stopping at his face finally. Ushijima smiled, his own eyes searching Hinata’s frame, taking in the outfit he and Suga had put together earlier. The stare didn’t make him uncomfortable, but he didn’t know what to do. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, fingers mindlessly tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. He opened his mouth to say something – anything – but Ushijima beat him to it.

“You look incredible–”

“I like your sweater!” Hinata practically screamed, silencing Ushijima’s compliment before the man could finish. “I-I… um…” His heart was pounding hard in his chest. He was being stupid and impulsive again and he hated it. “I-it’s just… it’s different from what you usually wear. A-and it looks really good on you. The color! And the um… fit.”

In fact, the way it fit Ushijima looked really good. It wasn’t a secret to anyone how strong and athletic Ushijima was, but the way the sweater’s maroon fabric clung to the muscles on his arms and chest was certainly attractive. 

“Thank you.” Ushijima said after a moment, and Hinata could have sworn he heard Suga stifle a laugh. “You… also… I like your outfit. It suits you.” 

Hinata relaxed a little when he heard Ushijima stumble over his words too. At least he wouldn’t be the only awkward one that night. He looked down at his clothes and smiled. “Um… thanks! Suga helped me pick it out! I’m not overdressed am I?”

Ushijima shook his head. “Not at all. You look lovely.” 

Lovely . Hinata could have swooned. Instead, he cleared his throat and tried to compose himself. He stepped closer to his date. “Thank you.” 

“This is so cute! I want to take your picture!” Suga held up his phone but Daichi gently pushed his boyfriend’s hand down. 

“Babe, don’t tease them.” He scolded quietly, then turned to him and Ushijima. “You guys all set?”

“Yep!” Hinata held up his phone and wallet before tucking them into his pockets. “We-” he stopped at the soft click of a camera shutter, followed by Daichi sighing.

“Koushi.”

“It was one picture, Dai!” Suga snapped back. “Forgive me for wanting to document Hinata’s first date after everything!”

Hinata’s face was burning with embarrassment. It helped that Ushijima was already used to Suga’s personality, but not much. “Okay! Well we should go!” He grabbed Ushijima’s arm and started toward the door. The man followed without a fight, quickly saying goodbye to Suga and Daichi. 

“Okay have fun!” Suga called, more to him than Ushijima he figured. “And remember to call if anything happens!”

Hinata nodded as he shoved his feet into his shoes and mumbled a quiet, “yes mom.”

Ushijima chuckled beside him as they made their way out of the apartment. Hinata half assumed that Suga would follow them out, camera in hand, but thankfully they were left alone for the short walk to the elevators.

“So… what’s the plan?” He asked once the elevator doors closed. “Suga wouldn’t tell me anything!”

“I asked him not to.” Ushijima admitted quietly. “I… apologize, but I was hoping to surprise you.” He glanced at Hinata then. “But I can tell you if you are uncomfortable.”

Already, Ushiima was being careful and considerate around him. It wasn’t anything new of course, but it still put him at ease. He had a good feeling about this date. 

“Nah!” Hinata smiled. “I like surprises! I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Ushijima nodded curtly.

They drove for a while, listening to the same artist Ushijima had shown him weeks ago. Hinata had learned a few of the songs since then and couldn’t help but sing along quietly to himself. He kept his eyes out the window, watching the city as they went, and letting himself fully relax. It wasn’t until Ushijima said something that he noticed how loud he had gotten. 

“Sorry!” He hid behind his hands, blush creeping up his neck. “I’m sorry–”

“I didn’t stop you because I didn’t like it.” Ushijima explained quickly, looking a little panicked. “It’s just… we’re here.” He nodded toward the building they had parked behind. 

Hinata slowly peeled himself away from his hiding place and looked out the window. The building looked like it housed more than just the restaurant; it was tall, and old but clearly well kept. Strings of lights decorated an outside garden area that a handful of people were sitting in. 

“O-oh!” He smiled awkwardly as he turned back to Ushijima. “Right!” He started to unbuckle himself but Ushijima’s hand landed over his. Slowly, he looked at him.

“Can I…” Ushijima hesitated for a moment. “You… you have a lovely voice. I didn’t realize that you could sing.”

“What?!” Hinata screeched out, his face hot with blush. “I can’t! I’m not good! I just — I can’t really sing! Just like… carry a tune, that’s all!” 

Ushijima smiled softly and Hinata felt his heart skip a few beats. “I disagree.” He reached down then and Hinata heard the click of his seatbelt coming undone. His eyes dropped just in time to see Ushijima’s hand pulling the seat belt off of him, and lifted again to meet those pretty hazel eyes. “Let’s go.”

Hinata could only nod.

The restaurant was less upscale than Hinata had expected, but it was warm and inviting – and more importantly, it smelled delicious. It was busy, but thankfully not overcrowded and they were seated by a window that overlooked the city. 

During the meal, Hinata made most of the conversation himself, but he didn’t mind. It wasn’t anything new. He knew that while Ushijima was quiet, he was listening. And he seemed to be making more of an effort; chiming in more often than he had in the past. He didn’t complain when Hinata got loud and talkative, didn’t tell him to quiet down when they got a particularly annoyed look from another customer. He just let him be.

It was so incredibly easy to be with him. Ushijima wasn’t an overbearing presence despite his size; he was kind and quiet and sweet. Blunt at times, but never mean. It felt good to be with him.

It felt safe.

They walked down the sidewalk slowly, moving past the few others out that evening with ease. He had no idea where they were headed — this was the final surprise of the evening. Which only left him more confused when Ushijima stopped in front of an upscale bakery. A bakery that was closed . 

“Toshi,” he deadpanned and pointed to the unlit sign. “This place is closed.” 

“I’m aware.” Ushijima replied before proceeding to knock on the door. 

Hinata could see through the windows that there were a few lights still on, and soon a tall, lanky redheaded man dressed in a white chef’s coat stepped out of what must have been the kitchen and headed toward the door. 

Delicate bells rang out as the door swung open, but the sound was quickly swallowed up by the man’s excited voice. “Toshi!!!”

Ushijima had a smile on his face when he greeted the man. “Satori, thank you for doing this.” 

“Of course!” The man replied, reaching a hand out to loudly pat Ushijima’s shoulder. “Anything for you!”

Hinata watched the exchange quietly, trying to piece together whatever the hell was going on. Suga swore that he was going to love Ushijima’s plan, but he hadn’t mentioned anyone else joining them. 

“Um… Toshi?” He tugged on Ushijima’s sleeve. Both men looked down at him and Ushijima opened his mouth to answer him, but the redhead interrupted. 

“You must be Hinata! I’m Satori Tendō. Culinary expert and pâtissier, at your service!” The man flourished his hand and bowed dramatically.

Hinata looked at Ushijima again, a nervous smile across his face. “What’s… going on?” 

Ushijima softly cleared his throat, blush heating up his cheeks. “I know how much you miss baking. So I thought… you might enjoy working with Satori.” He motioned to the redhead who nodded in agreement. 

“I’ve got it all set up.” Tendō continued for him. “We can make macarons and truffles, maybe some mousse. And I have some cakes that need decorating.” He counted on his long fingers as he listed everything off. All the while Hinata was still trying to grasp the situation. 

Ushijima had brought him there to bake. That was the final surprise — he was going to be able to work with a professional pâtissier. 

Excitement rushed through him and he let out a quiet gasp. “Oh my god…”

Ushijima stiffened beside him. “I-I… If you don’t want to, we can leave. I only — I thought—” 

Hinata tugged on his sleeve again and Ushijima stopped rambling. “C’mere for a second.”

He obeyed and leaned down. Hinata still had to stretch up onto his toes, but he managed to press a quick kiss on Ushijima’s cheek. It only lasted a second, but he couldn't ignore the buzz it left behind. And the bright red blush on Ushijima’s face definitely made it worth it. 

Hinata turned back to Tendō and grinned. “Okay! Let’s do this!” 

They walked inside and Tendō locked the door behind them, ensuring that no customers would accidentally wander in and interrupt. Hinata followed the taller redhead, practically vibrating with every step, and as they rounded the counter and stepped into the back, he gasped.

The kitchen was incredible! It had everything he could ever want; every mold, every pan, every machine — Hinata was in heaven. He followed Tendō around the large granite island in the center and was handed a shirt that matched the one the pâtissier wore. 

“So Toshi told me that you used to bake a lot at home.” Tendō mused as he began pulling out the ingredients. “What did you usually make?”

Hinata slid the white shirt over his other one and buttoned it slowly, “Mostly birthday cakes and pies for my family. But my mom loves those fancy chocolates so I made those too.” It was harder to do anything too fancy in their little home kitchen, but he had made it work. “It’s uh… it's been a while since I’ve done any baking though.” He glanced at Ushijima as the man sat down out of the way. 

“That’s alright!” Tendō nodded along as he listened. “I’m sure you remember more than you think. Let’s get started, yeah?”

Hinata nodded, feeling oddly reassured by the comment. He supposed that some of it must be muscle memory, but even that might not be enough. With a deep breath in and out, Hinata squared his shoulders and stood a little taller. He wouldn’t know if he didn’t try. “Yeah!”

Ushijima

He was used to watching Satori in the kitchen. When they were younger he was often used as a taste tester, despite not enjoying sweets nearly enough. But he had only seen Hinata cooking a handful of times. Mostly just a simple breakfast or snack for himself. Nothing like this.

Hinata was focused, brows pinched in concentration as he followed Satori’s instructions and piped the filling onto the delicate pink macarons. In the last three hours they had decorated multiple cakes for the next day, made a batch of champagne truffles, a chocolate and pomegranate mousse and the strawberry cheesecake macarons. Ushijima didn’t know how they had accomplished so much, but the two worked well together. And Hinata’s seemingly endless energy certainly helped.

Ushijima had been fed spoonful after spoonful of batters, fillings and frostings — each a little too sweet to his liking, but he had a terribly difficult time saying no to Hinata. Even now, at the end of a long, eventful evening, he wanted nothing more than to let them keep going. But it was getting late, and he had no intention of giving Sugawara a reason to lecture him about keeping Hinata out so late.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he started, drawing both men’s attention, “but it’s almost midnight.”

Satori’s head whipped around and he squinted at the clock on the wall. “Whoops! We should probably stop, huh?” He looked at Hinata for confirmation, but the smaller man looked a little disappointed. Immediately, Ushijima regretted opening his mouth. 

“Yeah, probably.” He let out a small sigh and set the bag of filling on the counter. Beside him, Satori smiled to himself. 

“Why don’t you take two of the mousse cakes too?” He nodded toward the large refrigerator. “I know for a fact that Daichi likes those.” 

“Really?” Hinata’s eyes lit up, the sight put Ushijima at ease. 

“Yep!” Satori nodded and Hinata made a b-line for the fridge. Satori started packing up the treats he and Hinata had made. A pile of macarons, some truffles, and four of the cupcakes they had decorated earlier. 

“Thank you for doing this, Satori.” Ushijima said softly. “Hinata… he was very happy.”

“ Happy .” Satori snorted quietly. “He was ecstatic . You did a good job on this date, Mr. Romantic.” 

The nickname had him blushing. He had never considered himself as the romantic type, but he had also never been with someone as deserving of it as Hinata. 

“You seem happy too.” Satori smiled at him. “I’m glad the date went well. Hinata’s awesome. I see why you like him.” 

Of course he did. It was obvious to anyone who met Hinata how easy it was to fall for him. 

“Got it!” Hinata returned to the counter and set the two dishes down. “Are you sure I can take these?” 

Satori nodded, “yep! And make sure you come back sometime. I could use good help like yours more often.” 

The walk back to the car was slow. Neither of them were in a rush to end the date it seemed. If Ushijima had his way, he would keep Hinata out longer. He would have let him bake with Satori until the two ran out of ingredients. But Sugawara was expecting him home, and despite Hinata’s energetic smile, he could see that he was tired. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” 

“Oh my god! Toshi, it was amazing!” Hinata shot back with a bright smile. “I haven’t baked like that in years! I mean, I’ve never baked like that ! And Tendō — he was so good! He’s so fast! Like —” His hands shot out in front of him, “ bwa! Cake mix! Zoom — perfect buttercream!” He sucked in a breath, then let out a laugh. “He’s the real thing, you know? It was awesome!” 

Ushijima smiled as he watched Hinata’s expression. The pure elation in his eyes made him happier than he thought possible. “I’m sure he would gladly have you back sometime if you want.” He lifted the paper bag in his grip. “You certainly know what you’re doing.” 

Hinata shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m nowhere near as good as him.” 

“You will be.” 

Hinata’s eyes widened at the surety of his answer, but Ushijima didn’t waver. Hinata deserved to know just how amazing he was. Blush darkened his cheeks and the wide stare slowly fell to their shoes. “I… maybe. Someday. I still haven’t decided on school.”

He slipped his fingers between Hinata’s, the younger man stiffened, likely surprised, but didn’t pull away. He felt smaller fingers wrap around his and squeeze. 

“All I want is for you to be happy.” Ushijima’s voice was low and soft. “And if finishing your current degree is what you want, then I will support you.” He and Sugawara both. “However… I have not seen you nearly as happy as when you were baking with Satori.”

It was a bit cliché, but it was the truth. Hinata undoubtedly came to life in that kitchen. He had seen his smile and felt his elation multiple times in the months he had known him, but nothing compared to that. And after everything Hinata had suffered, he deserved nothing but happiness for the rest of his life. 

“Come here…” Hinata’s hand tugged on the front of his sweater, guiding him back down as he had earlier. Ushijima followed the instruction without thought, until he was dangerously close to Hinata’s lips. 

He stilled. Not pulling away but not daring to press any closer. The fingers gripping his shirt unraveled and instead moved to his face. Barely touching his cheek, but Ushijima was burning beneath it. 

“Can I…” Hinata’s voice wavered beneath the unfinished question.

“Yes.” Ushijima whispered in answer. 

Without another word, Hinata pressed forward and closed the little space between them. Their lips met in a warm, delicate kiss. 

He closed his eyes, wanting to savor the kiss. It was everything he hoped it would be and more. Hinata’s slightly chapped lips fit perfectly with his; the touch, as gentle as it was, sent a rush of warmth through his chest. After a moment, he pulled back. But Hinata chased after him, catching his lips again in another, deeper kiss. The sudden affection surprised him, but he was quick to adjust. His hand lowered to Hinata’s back, steadying the smaller man as they continued to kiss. 

His heart hammered against his ribs, blood pounded in his ears. There was nothing in his mind except Hinata. The warm touch of his lips, the tickle of his unruly hair as it brushed against his face, the small, strong hands gripping the front of his sweater, the determination and drive behind the kiss. 

Ushijima was completely captivated by this man.  

Hinata began to pull away, the movement slow and hesitant, and took a breath. Ushijima watched him closely, unable to tear his eyes away from the soft smile curling Hinata’s pink lips. “Thanks… for kissing me that time.” 

Ushijima chuckled and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Hinata’s, drawing a quiet laugh from the redhead. “Anytime.” 

Chapter Text

Hinata 

Staring at the dark ceiling, he watched the nothingness of it like he had been for the last three hours. Since Ushijima had dropped him off after their date. He hadn’t been the least bit surprised to find both Suga and Daichi waiting up for him – like a set of worried parents, unable to fall asleep until their kid is back home safe and sound. 

It was nice. 

Embarrassing . 

But nice.

And thankfully, neither man pried too much. They had known what Ushijima had planned after all, so there wasn't much to share other than how much fun he’d had. And the fact that they had kissed – though he kept that part to himself. It felt too special to share just yet. 

They had kissed three times that evening. Once, just after leaving the bakery. The second in the car, stopped at a red light. And the third…

     They stopped at the door, Hinata bouncing on the balls of his feet. It was late – later than he had intended to be out, but he didn’t want the date to end. Even with the promise of another, he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye.

“So…” Nervously chewing on his cheek, he looked up at Ushijima. “What now?”

“Now,” Ushijima’s fingers squeezed his, a small smile tugged at his lips. “You should go inside and get some rest.” 

“I’m not tired.” Hinata pushed his lower lip out into a pout, even though that was a lie. His body had finally come down from the excitement on the car ride home. He was caught between wanting to lay down and the desire to stand out in the hall with Ushijima as long as he could. 

“Regardless, it’s late.” Ushijima’s voice rumbled with a deep chuckle. “You need your rest.” His hand lifted and Hinata instinctively leaned into it.

“Yeah, yeah.” Hinata huffed, defeated by his own exhaustion and Ushijima’s touch. 

Ushijima leaned down as he tucked the bright curls behind his ear and waited. Waited for Hinata to move, to take charge of the moment and close the distance between them. Hinata didn’t hesitate to. He stretched up onto his toes and met Ushijima with a tender kiss. It only lasted a few seconds but for those few seconds, all Hinata could feel was the soft push of Ushijima’s lips on his. Everything else around them disappeared – every worry, every doubt. He was weightless. Free. 

Slowly coming back to earth, Hinata’s eyes blinked open as Ushijima pulled back to see a soft smile on the man’s face. He wanted to thank him again and again; for the date, for the chocolates, for the kiss – for the way he made his heart feel like his again. But the only sound that came out was a quiet, airy laugh. 

Ushijima’s smile brightened at the sound. “I will see you tomorrow, Hinata.”

Hinata flipped over, shoving his face into the pillow to muffle a squeal and kicked his legs against the bed. The excitement from earlier returned almost overwhelmingly. He was completely wired, despite the late hour. Hesitantly, he looked at the time on his phone and scowled. He wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon. But thankfully, he knew someone else that kept this sort of sleep schedule. 

His phone screen lit up the dark room as he hit the call button. It took a few moments then the video opened, revealing a red eyed Kenma sitting at his computer.

“You should be asleep.”

“So should you.” Hinata stuck out his tongue. 

Kenma scoffed quietly, “I’m working right now.”

“Oh. Wait — shit! Are you streaming?” Hinata dropped his voice to a whisper.

“No,” Kenma replied with an amused smile. “Just testing out a new game.”

“Oh, okay.” Hinata relaxed back onto the mattress. “So… did you want to know about the date?”

Kenma’s smile dropped into a serious scowl and the motion of his hands stopped. He set the controller down and grabbed the phone, pulling it closer. “Obviously.”

Hinata laughed. “Well it started out pretty normal. We had dinner at a nice restaurant. Not like super fancy, which was honestly good. I’m still not used to this whole lifestyle. It feels like a waste on me.”

“It’s not a waste to spend money on people you care about.” Kenma replied, leaning back in his gaming chair and sighed. “But… I get it. It does take some getting used to.”

Hinata took a moment to let that sink in. He hadn’t considered that. He had only felt like a burden on everyone — especially Suga and Daichi. But… They cared about him. And after everything, he felt like he could consider them friends. He hoped they felt the same. It’s not a waste. Spoiling your friends with whatever you could give them - time, food, money - it wasn’t a waste. And he wasn’t a burden. 

He sucked in a breath. Reminding himself again of that fact. 

“Okay… but – the best part!” A spark of excitement jolted him upwards and his attention back to the call. “He took me to a bakery that his friend owns and I got to decorate all these fancy cakes and make truffles and macarons and it was AMAZING!”

“Seriously?” Kenma’s mouth twitched into a small smile. “That’s… that’s… wow.”

“I know!” Hinata had to fight to keep himself quiet, his excitement threatening to come out in screams. “I got to work with a real pâtissier in a real kitchen! It was like a dream!”

“So he knows you like baking?” Kenma asked.

“Yeah.” Hinata sighed dreamily, “we talked about it a few times. He… he thinks I should go back to school for it, instead of communications.” 

Kenma was quiet for a few moments, “…I agree with him.”

Hinata gaped. “Seriously?! I thought you hated him!” 

“I don’t hate him.” Kenma rubbed at his eyes. “I just don’t know him. I don’t trust him. But he’s… he seems to be treating you well. And that whole bakery date was… really sweet.”

“Pun intended?” Hinata couldn’t help himself.

“Obviously.” Kenma deadpanned. “I’m just pleasantly surprised, that’s all.”

Hinata felt a swell of pride in his chest, remembering how hesitant Kenma had been about Ushijima at first. “Yeah, I told you he was different.”

Kenma hummed softly, his hands moving as he started playing the game again. “For your sake, I’ll give him a chance. But if he does anything you don’t like —”

“I know, I know.” Hinata didn’t need to hear another ‘if he hurts you, I’ll kill him’ speech. It was comforting to know that so many people were looking out for him, but he was getting sick of being treated like a victim. Like he couldn’t handle anything himself. “You don’t have to worry though. He’s a good guy – an amazing guy! I really like him, Kenma.” His smile softened, heartbeat quickening. He hadn’t felt like this in such a long time; since before Terushima. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Sho.” Kenma said softly. “You deserve it.” 

Hinata watched his friend’s expression closely. Kenma was good at hiding his thoughts for the most part, but Hinata knew him. Even after their time apart, he knew him. And there was something else, something that Kenma was holding back. 

“But…?” 

Kenma’s expression fell. “But…” he hesitated another moment, “Are you sure that you’re ready? 

Hinata’s chest tightened. “Kenma…” 

“I’m just worried that you’re rushing into something. There’s no timeline you have to follow, and no rules for this sort of thing. And I’m just…” His voice faded into a heavy sigh as he dropped his head into the palm of his hand. “Shōyō… you have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. You’ve been hurt and I know you want things to go back to normal, but you can’t rush it.” 

Hinata didn’t want to, but he agreed. He wanted to have a normal life, a normal relationship. And he also knew how quick and impulsive he was – or used to be. 

Maybe he was rushing into it, maybe he should take some more time to figure out his life. That was the logical thing to do. That’s what he should do. But, it didn’t feel rushed. He had been with Suga for months, and known Ushijima just as long. 

His feelings for Ushijima weren’t something sudden – well, he had realized them rather suddenly. 

Was he rushing into… whatever he had with Ushijima? Sure they had only gone on one date, but it felt like something more. Or at least, like it could become more. And he wanted it to; he wanted that kind of relationship. To be in love – actually in love – and happy with someone. To know what that actually felt like.

“I know.” Hinata breathed out. “Ugh! I know! But I like him! And he’s great! You said yourself that there’s no timeline or like rules I have to follow!”

“Chill, Shōyō. I know.” Kenma held up a hand. “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that you like him or that you want to date him. I’m just saying that it’s okay if you don’t feel ready.” 

Hinata nodded slowly, “I… think… I feel ready.”

“Okay. But if that changes, please tell someone. Ushijima, me, Suga, your therapist — any of us, okay?” 

“Okay.” Hinata conceded. “I will. Promise.”

“Good.” Kenma smiled small. “And I am happy for you, Shō. I’m glad you had fun –”

“Babe… who’re you talking to?” 

Kenma’s smile fell the moment that sleepy voice called out. “It’s… just Hinata. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s okay… but you should get some sleep.” The other voice practically mumbled. “C’mere… cuddle me.” 

Hinata sat up, trying to peek around Kenma’s face and into the dark room behind him. On the bed, still half beneath the blankets was someone sitting up slowly. “Kenma is that… is that Yamaguchi? ”

Kenma glared at him through the screen, and Hinata could see the blush on his face. “Shut up.”

Hinata tried to keep his voice down. “Oh my god—”

“Goodnight Shōyō.” Kenma snapped, his hand lifting to end the call.

“No! Kenma wait!” He knew that Kenma was embarrassed, but he couldn’t help himself. “Hi Yamaguchi! Hope you’re having fun!” 

“Fucking…” Kenma muttered, the blush darkening. “Goodnight Shōyō!” The screen went black as the call ended on Kenma’s mortified expression. Hinata held back his laughter, muffling what he couldn’t in his hand. 

Once he had calmed down, stomach aching still, he rolled over and looked at time. It was 3:38 a.m. and he really needed to sleep, but he couldn’t get what Kenma said out of his head. 

When his alarm went off that morning, he had only managed to get about three hours of sleep, and he felt it. His body was heavy as he dragged himself out of the bed, away from the warm and cozy blankets. He stumbled out of the bedroom and down the hallway, following the smell of breakfast cooking. 

“Hey — oh.” Suga’s excitement slipped into concern. “Did you sleep at all last night?” 

Hinata shrugged off the question and went to get himself a cup of coffee. He didn’t enjoy the taste at all, but today, he really needed the caffeine. 

“No, come on.” Suga followed him to the island, “you look exhausted. Did something happen?”

Hinata shook his head before taking a hesitant sip of the coffee. The gross, bitter flavor hit his tongue and he had to fight not to spit it right out. “Ugh…” 

“Okay, well you’re drinking it black .” Suga snickered, “only psychopaths like Daichi do that.” He ran to the fridge and pulled out a colorful bottle. “Put this in it. Makes all the difference.” 

Hinata did as instructed and took a skeptical sip. The flavored creamer had made the drink bearable, but not so much that Hinata could say that he liked it. Suga didn’t seem to have any problem as he took a lengthy sip of his own. 

He could see the questions simmering behind Suga’s stare, questions he knew the man wouldn’t ask yet. He wouldn’t pry unless he was actually worried. But Hinata wished he would. He needed answers, needed someone to help him figure out what he had spent nearly the entire night trying to do. 

“Suga…” His eyes dropped from Suga to the cup. “Do you think I’m… like rushing into the whole dating thing?”

Suga let out a quiet breath. “I can’t answer that for you, Hinata.” 

Hinata huffed and dropped his head into his hands. “I know… but could you anyways?” 

Suga chuckled into his mug before setting it down. “No, I can’t. That’s something that you have to decide for yourself.” Hinata frowned. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but of course, it was the right one. “You seemed pretty determined about it the other day, and you enjoyed your date, right?” Hinata nodded. “Did something happen that made you second guess it?”

“No… not really. Just…” he didn’t want to mention that it was Kenma who had put the thought into his head. “Thinking. I like Ushijima a lot, so… I want to be sure, you know?”

Suga nodded along, listening as he took another cup. “I understand. But, like I said, I can’t make that decision for you. No one can.”

“Right.” Hinata huffed. When did he get so unsure of himself? Sure, Kenma slipped the idea that he wasn’t ready into his head, but it wasn't his fault that Hinata felt this way. He was just being a good friend, just looking out for him. 

As much as he hated to admit it, things were easier sometimes when someone else made all of his decisions for him. But that wasn’t right; he was free of Terushima and free of those chains. He had to choose for himself. He had to live for himself, now that he had the chance.

Suga gently plucked the coffee mug out of his hands, the movement surprising Hinata, and set it on the counter. “Why don’t you go sleep for a little while longer, then we can go out to lunch and talk about this some more. Unlike Ushijima, I’ll actually wake you up in two hours.” 

Hinata frowned. “But won’t Toshi have to come with us? I mean, I don’t mind… obviously. But…”

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I’m gonna have Kyōtani escort us today.” Suga reassured him. “We can’t talk about Ushijima if he’s standing right there.” He nudged Hinata back toward the hallway and he started slowly toward his bedroom. “Go on, you look like you’re about to pass out.” 

He certainly felt like it. 

He leaned against the cushioned booth and peered out the window. The street was unexpectedly slow for the afternoon. Which, of course, had made their trip easier. Less people out, meant less people trying to get Suga’s attention. Still, Hinata almost wished there was more going on. He had never done well with quiet, with slow . Maybe that was another reason he was moving so fast with Ushijima; why he was so keen on moving forward with it. His impatience and desire taking over, fighting against his possible better judgment. 

“You know, I really thought that Daichi was gonna propose during our trip.” Suga said with a small pout. “Knowing him though, he’s planning something bigger.” 

“Bigger than a trip?” Hinata picked up one of the appetizers on the plate between them. “I dunno, that seems like the perfect time.” 

Suga shrugged. “We’ll see. If he mentions anything, you have to tell me! Promise!” He held out his pinky. 

“Okay, I promise!” Hinata wrapped his own pinky around Suga’s, making the promise despite already knowing that Daichi had planned Suga’s perfect proposal for a few weeks away. “So you’re gonna say yes?”

“Of course I am!” Suga practically screamed. “I mean — he’s Daichi! He’s amazing! I love him so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him.” He nibbled on a breadstick, and sighed. “And speaking of love… tell me what’s got you all worried?” 

Hinata’s stomach flipped at the question. He much preferred talking about Suga and Daichi’s perfect relationship to his… whatever he had going on. Even though that was the entire reason for going out. He shot a glance at the blond security guard sitting at a table nearby. At least Ushijima didn’t have to see him like this. 

“I just… I really liked the date. I had so much fun, and it was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me — dating wise.” He twisted the napkin in his hands, “I mean, ‘Shima never… even in the beginning, he hadn’t done anything like that. We went on dates, but it wasn’t… that.”

“Well, Ushijima’s a big romantic.” Suga smiled, “he’s all stoic and quiet, but that man is the biggest sap I’ve ever met. So I’m not surprised that he went all out on that date for you.”

Hinata smiled to himself. The level of romance Ushijima planned had been a surprise. Not that he was complaining. It was easily one of his new favorite memories. 

“And, at the risk of sounding repetitive… you fucking deserve romance like that!” Suga’s voice grew louder as he spoke, drawing a few stares from the other patrons. “You deserve a grand, sappy, rose-covered romance!” 

Hinata swallowed back a laugh as he took a sip of his mocktail, barely managing not to choke. “I-I guess.”

“No! No guessing!” Suga shouted, sitting up and reaching over to ruffle his hair. “You do!” 

“Okay! Okay!” Hinata laughed and lightly shoved him away. “I get it! I do!”

“Good.” Satisfied, Suga sank back into his seat and smiled proudly. “Continue.”

“I guess…” Hinata started after a moment. “I guess I just don’t want to rush anything. Like… what if I realize that I’m not ready but we’re already dating? I don’t want to hurt him like that. I really like him, and I just want to be sure.” 

Suga was quiet for a little while, brows pinched in thought. Hinata was glad, despite how nerve wracking the silence was becoming, that Suga was taking his time. “If you like him… then there’s really no reason not to date.” He said finally. “You don’t need to figure out the future right now, not with this. Not every relationship needs to be long lasting, you know. You can just enjoy spending time with him right now and see where that takes you.” 

Well, he hadn’t considered that. He had been so wrapped around planning for his future that he didn’t think about how he felt right then and there. He liked Ushijima. He liked spending time with him, and he absolutely liked kissing him. If there was a future with him, Hinata would like that, but he didn’t have to plan out their entire future that second. He didn’t have to worry about what might happen. He could just… be. 

“I do think that you should talk to him about this though.” Suga added. “He’s going to understand. He likes you a lot too. He would want you to be comfortable, even if that means going slow.” 

Hinata nodded. He didn’t doubt that Ushijima would do what he asked – the man was already so courteous and careful with his boundaries. “I will.” He promised, to himself and to Suga. “And… there‘s one more thing.” Hinata slowly met Suga’s now wary expression. “I… think I want to go back to school. For culinary arts.” 

Suga’s expression immediately lit up at the news. “Really? That’s awesome!”

Hinata blushed, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “Thanks. I’m… working with Tendō really opened my eyes and reminded me how much I love it.” 

“You know, I’m sure that you could just ask to study under him. He’d teach you everything that you would learn in school.” Suga suggested. 

Hinata shook his head. “Probably, but… I want to finish school. I want to accomplish something… myself, you know?” The thought brought a smile back to his face. He felt more determined, more certain about it than anything before. “Then I’ll start training with Tendō!” 

“Well, I can selfishly say that I’m happy you chose culinary studies. Since I’ll be able to taste test all of your delicious creations.” Suga lifted his drink up and Hinata copied him, tilting his cup just enough to tap the edge of Suga’s. “I’m proud of you, Hinata.” 

They finished their meal just in time for a large group to make their way into the restaurant. Kyōtani stood up, immediately moving to their table, blocking Suga from view as best he could, but it didn’t take long before someone took notice of them. Hinata patiently waited as Suga kindly posed for pictures and signed a few autographs, but the superstar didn’t linger with his fans long. He moved back to the table quickly as Kyōtani ushered the group away. 

“Sorry about that.” Suga sighed as he grabbed his coat. 

“It’s fine!” Hinata replied quickly. “I don’t mind waiting. And your fans really wanted to meet you, so –” He was cut off by a sudden flash outside. All three of them looked over and were greeted by a growing crowd of fans and paparazzi.

It wasn’t the first time he had dealt with the press, however he didn’t think he would ever get used to it. Both Suga and his bodyguards had kept him well hidden from the public eye, but no one was perfect. The scene outside of the restaurant was far more chaotic than inside, thanks to the manager. People – fans and paparazzi alike –  were pressed against the windows, shoving each other out of the way to get a better look at Sugawara. 

“God damnit!” Suga snapped under his breath. “Sorry Hinata.”

Hinata slowly tore his eyes away from the mob scene, “Uh… it's fine. It’s like at the hospital, right? Just toss a jacket over me and we’ll sneak right by!” 

“That’s a little harder since you’re not in a wheelchair, but… it’s not a bad idea.” Suga considered it. “Regardless, put this on.” He held out a black mask for him to take. “It’s not much, but it’ll at least hide part of your face.” 

Hinata took it and slowly put it on as Suga slipped on his own. It was comforting to have something to hide in, even if it left a lot out in the open still. 

They followed Kyōtani. Suga had a firm grip on Hinata’s hand as they weaved through the tables and toward the doors, guiding him and keeping him close. The car was in sight, but as they stepped out onto the street, cameras started flashing. Taketora put himself between them and the paparazzi, but he couldn’t completely shield them from sight. Suga grabbed Hinata, his hand lifting to guide his head down, but it was too late. As he slid into the back seat he knew they had seen him and that they had probably gotten a picture. 

Suga followed him in and quickly pulled the door shut behind him. Kyōtani was still outside, carefully urging the group away from the car before climbing in himself. And as much as Hinata didn’t want to admit it, he was terrified. Cameras were still flashing even as they pulled away, and even with the tinted windows, he couldn’t help feel exposed. 

He didn’t realize his hands were shaking until Suga grabbed them, steading his trembling fingers. With practiced grace, Suga guided his rapidly uneven breathing until it had slowed and his heart rate felt normal again. 

Only once they were in the safety of the apartment building again did Hinata finally let himself completely relax. He slowly took another breath in, and out. He couldn’t change what happened, he could just hope for the best. 

“Dai?” Suga called after kicking his shoes off in the genkan. 

“In my office!” Hinata heard Daichi call back. 

“Okay!” Suga replied, then spun around to face him. “I’m gonna take a shower. Are you okay?”

Hinata nodded and Suga disappeared up the stairs to his and Daichi’s room. He wandered into the living room, pausing when he heard the voices coming from Daichi’s office. The door was open and Hinata peeked inside. Seated at his desk was Daichi, while Ushijima stood across from him. 

“Toshi!” Hinata started across the room toward him. Ushijima immediately turned, a smile breaking out on his usually stoic face. His arm extended, seemingly to welcome Hinata into a hug — something he knew that Hinata loved and wanted. But in the split second that Ushijima’s hand lifted into the air above his head, Hinata’s stomach flipped. His body reacted before he knew better, flinching away from the touch. 

Ushijima’s hand lingered in the air for a moment before falling to his side. The smile now gone from his face, replaced by an uncertain stare and a heartbreaking frown. 

Hinata wanted to take it back. He wanted to tell Ushijima that he was fine, that he wasn’t scared… but he was. In that split second it was all he could feel. That disgustingly familiar and vile terror. 

“S-sorry!” He tried to laugh it off, but the sound was weak and unconvincing. “I don’t know why I… did that. I know you wouldn’t — I know you’re not…” he looked up again and immediately regretted it. Both Ushijima and Daichi were watching him with, what felt like, pity. He hated it, and instantly let his gaze fall again only to see Ushijma’s legs bringing him closer. 

Hinata hated how quickly his body froze up. How he wanted to move away, but his feet were stuck. 

“I’m not upset with you, Hinata.” Ushijima said quietly. 

Hinata blinked, feeling warm tears filling his eyes. You should be . 

“Did I scare you?” 

He wanted to say no , but his words were stuck in his throat. Buried beneath a harsh breath in and out, shorter with each try. 

“Hinata, are you okay?” 

What was he saying? It didn’t sound like yelling, but Hinata could barely hear him over his own blood pounding in his ears. 

“Hinata.”

His eyes finally snapped up to meet Ushijima’s soft hazel gaze, and he couldn’t find any anger or frustration in it. Just concern. A hand outstretched toward him, palm up, open and unthreatening. Cautiously, Hinata put his hand in Ushijima’s, twisting his smaller fingers around the larger and squeezed. They stood there, silently holding hands, for what felt like minutes until his heartbeat found a steady rhythm again. 

“What…” His voice wobbled on the word and he softly cleared his throat. “What are you doing here?” 

“I had to speak with Daichi about an upcoming event.” Ushijima explained, moving on easily as if nothing had happened. “Though I was hoping to see you as well. Did you enjoy lunch?” 

Hinata nodded, slowly beginning to feel somewhat normal again. “Yeah. It was so good! Suga knows the best places.” 

“Yes, he does.” Ushijima agreed. 

Hinata smiled and glanced at Daichi, who had politely put his headphones in and was ignoring them. “Wanna… go watch a movie?” Ushijima nodded in answer and Hinata wasted no time to lead him out of the room. 

They settled on the couch and chose something familiar, Hinata keeping Ushijima’s hand in his. As terrified as he had been just moments before, that feeling was replaced with a sense of neediness. Needing to be close, needing to feel his warmth, needing to prove to Ushijima that he wasn’t afraid. 

But he also needed to talk to him. He knew he couldn’t put the conversation off much longer, not after that . 

Hinata grabbed the remote and paused the movie before it even had a chance to start, determination coursing through him. “I like you a lot.” 

Ushijima quirked an eyebrow at him, but smiled. “I like you too.” 

That little smile certainly helped Hinata ignore the swirling nerves in his stomach. “And… I had a really nice time last night!” He took a breath, hesitating a moment longer. “I'm just… nervous… I guess. And it’s nothing you did!” He added before Ushijima could voice his question. “You’re perfect! I mean – well, no I mean that. You’re amazing. And the date was amazing. It’s not you, I swear. And I feel like I’m ready to be with you, but I’m… scared.” 

Ushijima squeezed his hand, “It’s alright, Hinata. I understand.” Hinata relaxed and squeezed back. “We can move as slowly as you want, Hinata.” He wrapped his arm around Hinata’s shoulders and pulled him closer to press a soft kiss on his hair. “I'm in no rush. I like you. I like spending time with you.” 

Hinata’s heart jumped rapidly and he leaned into the affection. “Okay.” He whispered behind a smile. “Thank you.”

Another kiss was placed on his head, followed by a quiet hum of acknowledgement as he pushed the button and the movie started to play. Hinata started to relax further and further into Ushijima’s side, only half paying attention to the film. 

About fifteen minutes into the story, the movie stopped and Hinata glanced at Ushijima, noting the remote in his hand. 

“Hinata,” Ushijima started suddenly, drawing Hinata’s eyes to him. “Since you shared something with me, there’s something I want to tell you.” 

“That sounds serious.” He forced a laugh.

“It is… somewhat serious.” Ushijima’s hand found his again and squeezed. “I don’t know what Sugawara told you, but a few years ago, I left an… unhealthy relationship.” 

“He didn’t really say anything.” Hinata replied quietly.

Ushijima nodded as he took a slow breath. “That is a little surprising. Though I suppose it isn’t his place to share it.” He sat up, and Hinata followed, determined to keep himself close. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Toshi.” Hinata promised. “I mean, I’m happy to listen, but don’t feel like you have to.”

Ushijima’s hand brushed over his arm tenderly. “I know. It isn’t something I particularly enjoy talking about, but I believe that it's important for you to know.” 

Hinata nodded, knowing exactly what that felt like. He settled against the back of the couch, turned to face Ushijima. “Okay.”

Ushijima was quiet then. His hands absentmindedly toyed with Hinata, squeezing and playing with his fingers. Hinata didn’t mind; he knew how nerve wracking this could be. “I met Goshiki in college.” He started quietly. “He was… different in the beginning. Shy, a bit abrasive, however I assumed that was simply how he protected himself from people he didn’t know. He changed as time went on. He grew angrier… meaner. It started with little things.” His jaw tightened; Hinata could see the way those lingering emotions bubbled up as the memories resurfaced. He hated the feeling and gently squeezed Ushijima’s hand, reassuring him that it was only that – only memories. Ushijima squeezed back and seemed to relax a little before carrying on quietly. “He would tell me one thing, then something the complete opposite. And… act as if I was the one wrong. And when I questioned him… he would scream or cry. Put all the blame on me.” 

“Toshi…” Hinata’s voice wobbled, but he kept himself from crying. Wanting to listen, wanting to be there for Ushijima like he had been for him. 

“Everything he gave me came with an ultimatum. He was manipulative, and controlling, and I never knew what to expect from him.” Ushijima sighed. 

Hinata knew how that felt all too well. The constant fear and never knowing what would happen next. It was hard enough with strangers, but having someone that is supposed to love and care for you act like that… It's horrible.

“He was never physically abusive.” He nearly whispered the phrase but Hinata heard the quiver in his voice. “But he…”

“It was still abuse.” Hinata squeezed his hand. “Just because he didn’t… hit you. It was still abuse.” 

Ushijima nodded stiffly. 

Hinata let as much as he could sink in. It explained a lot of Ushijima’s behavior towards him, especially in the beginning. He knew, personally, deeply, what it felt like to be abused by someone. It made sense why Ushijima was so set on taking care of him. He wondered – no, he hoped that Ushijima had someone that helped him back then. He wanted to ask, but one look at Ushijima’s expression made it obvious that he didn’t want to dwell on the topic any longer. So, instead of asking anything else, he curled closer. Tucking himself against Ushijima’s broad chest and pulled the man’s arm around himself. Ushijima relaxed a little beside him. “Thank you for telling me.”

Ushijima squeezed him gently, and where Hinata thought he might feel fear, he felt only contentment. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Hinata asked with a small laugh when he felt Ushijima’s nose nuzzle into his hair and the soft brush of his breath when he spoke. 

“For trusting me.” 

Chapter Text

Ushijima

For the first time in a long time, he felt almost intoxicated with joy. His heart was light, his steps peppier – he was flying . In the last week he and Hinata had established their relationship, Hinata had begun the process of returning to school, and he had opened up about his past for the first time in a long time. He was genuinely surprised how easy it had been to tell Hinata. Not that it was completely effortless, but certainly not as hard as he expected. Perhaps he had grown enough in the past few years to finally be able to discuss it without breaking down. Or maybe it was the new presence of someone so genuine, so warm and kind. Hinata made it easy to open up, but more so, he made Ushijima want to. And he wanted to savor that feeling for as long as he could. 

He leaned back against the brick wall behind him, arms folded comfortably across his chest as he surveyed their surroundings. They were filming outside that day, allowing him a chance to enjoy the warm spring weather. Though even that did little to ease his boredom. Waiting for Sugawara to finish working had rarely felt this dull and it was obviously due to the absence at his side. Having Hinata there with him made the day go by in a flash, and it had become a habit for the redhead to join them at work. But with his upcoming semester, Hinata had been busy trying to get everything in order. 

Pride swelled in his chest as he remembered that Hinata was planning to study something he loved, rather than something ‘sensible’ .  Of course, Tendō had been thrilled as well. He rarely admitted it, but with the growing popularity of his bakery, he could use the help. The two of them were going to be good partners when the time came. 

“Hey!” Sugawara trotted over to him. “I’m done for today. Just gotta change and get this makeup off. Then we can head home.”

He nodded and tried to keep the excitement from showing on his face. Sugawara however, being who he was, noticed. 

“Hinata said that he was gonna cook dinner tonight.” He added slyly. “I think he’s making hayashi rice .” The smile on Sugawara’s lips widened. He knew full well what Ushijima’s favorite meal was, and of course Sugawara would have shared that with Hinata. “You’re staying right?”

“Of course.” Ushijima didn’t hesitate. 

Sugawara snickered, then turned to head to the trailer. “Good.”

He followed Sugawara through the set until they reached the dressing area, where he waited outside. Sugawara didn’t need an audience while he changed. He tapped his foot on the loose gravel as the minutes passed, impatient and eager to get back to the house — to his boyfriend. Boyfriend. His mouth curled into a small smile. The term was so simple, yet it left him feeling unstoppable. His former relationships couldn’t even compare to how this felt, to how much Hinata meant to him. 

The door to the trailer finally opened. He quickly wiped the smile from his expression and looked up to see Sugawara stepping out. “Finished?”

The blonde nodded, then tugged on a dark baseball cap. “yep! Let’s go see our men.” He jumped down the few steps and headed out toward the parking lot.

Ushijima’s lips quirked up into a smile as he stepped into place behind Sugawara. Our men.

Hinata 

Suga hadn’t been lying when he said that hayashi rice was Ushijima’s favorite. The way his boyfriend devoured the meal was a little surprising considering his usually stoic demeanor. Hinata half wondered if it was simply because he made it, but even Daichi insisted that Ushijima just ‘really liked the food’ . Either way, Hinata was happy. 

As a courtesy, after dinner Suga and Ushijima cleaned everything up in the kitchen. Daichi offered, but since he had been the one helping Hinata earlier, he got out of it. It still felt strange just sitting on the couch, waiting for them to finish cleaning up his mess, but luckily, it wasn’t long until they finished and Ushijima joined him. Hinata wasted no time and curled himself against his boyfriend while the television played in the background. He wasn’t paying attention, too busy talking to Ushijima about his day until the exhaustion started to settle in. With Ushijima’s large arm wrapped around him, it didn’t take long for him to drift.

He jolted at the sound of his phone sounding off and vibrating on the coffee table. Hesitantly, he untangled himself from his boyfriend and grabbed the device. Beside him, Ushijima sat up and stretched his arms, now that he was free and wasn’t being used as a pillow. 

“Hey–”

“Did you get my texts?”

“Huh?” Hinata pulled the phone away and looked through his messages. There were, in fact, at least five unread messages from Kenma. He switched the call to speaker, and scrolled through the texts. “Sorry, I didn’t hear… it.” 

From: Kenma

U need to see this. Yamaguchi sent it to me 

From: Kenma

[ inserted link ]

From: Kenma

its all over twitter. people are wondering who you are since you’re with suga 

From: Kenma 

im trying to repress it but you know the fucking internet once its out there, its out there 

From: Kenma 

sorry shō. im not trying to freak you out, but you needed to know 

From: Kenma

call me when you see this! 

From: Kenma

????

From: Kenma 

shō??

“What is it?” Ushijima asked with growing concern. 

Hinata clicked the link and was brought to hundreds of tweets, all surrounding Sugawara and the new kid he’s been hanging around. Hinata’s fingers trembled as he scrolled. The questions and curiosity were a result of one girl’s tweet, with three photos attached. 

One was of the day they left the hospital, Sugawara behind him, pushing the wheelchair out of the doors, Hinata’s entire upper body hidden beneath Ushijima’s jacket. Which, of course, would spark questions. Most were kind and only questioned the kid’s health, or wished him a speedy recovery, but it was clear that people wanted to know more. 

The second was from Oikawa’s account. The photo was of a selfie he had taken with Yamaguchi, but it had been cropped and zoomed in to where Hinata was sitting with Ushijima far in the background. It was blurred enough from the pixilation that his face wasn’t very clear, but it did nothing to disguise his hair. Those bright, unruly curls were on full display, and were a dead giveaway to anyone who knew him. 

Panic started the swell in the pit of his stomach but he needed to see the rest. 

The third was taken through the window of the restaurant where he and Suga had eaten lunch a few days ago. It was of the two of them sitting at a table, smiling as they talked. Sugawara’s face was clearly visible, and so was his. 

“Oh… shit...! Sh– fuck!” 

“Shōyō? Shō—”

“F-fuck!” 

It wasn’t the magazines or paparazzi that had published it like he thought, but some random girl’s photo that had managed to go viral. It already had over a hundred thousand views and was steadily growing. He stared at it again, wanting to believe that it wasn’t actually him. That Kenma had made a mistake. But he was right there, with Suga, outside the restaurant that was dangerously close to the apartment. It would be so easy to track him down. 

He sucked in a breath, but it wasn’t enough so he tried again and again but his lungs didn’t feel full. His body was cold and shaking, but he could feel sweat pooling on his palms. He tried to scroll through it again, desperate to see that it wasn’t him. To force himself to believe that it was all fake, but his trembling fingers wouldn’t cooperate and the phone was suddenly plucked out of his grasp.

“Kozume-san, it’s Ushijima.” Ushijima’s voice sounded muffled even though he was still so close. He must have switched it off speaker, because Hinata could only make out Ushijima's voice among his head’s pounding. “No, he’s not.” A pause. “I know,” Another pause, “I will. Yes, you too.” Then he hung up. “Sugawara! Sawamura!” He called into the quiet house causing Hinata to flinch. It wasn’t late enough that they would be asleep, but he still didn’t want to disturb them. Ushijima returned to his side quickly, wrapping him up in an embrace and Hinata clung to him. 

It wasn’t long until Suga and Daichi came running down the stairs, asking panicked questions. Ushijima instructed them to look at his phone, all the while his grip never let up. Hinata was surrounded by the warm, safe pressure of his arms. He pressed his eyes closed as tightly as he could and breathed in his boyfriend’s cologne. 

Seconds, minutes, hours — he had no idea how much or little time had passed now that he had finally calmed down enough to process what was happening around him. 

Ushijima was still holding him, Daichi was nearby, typing on his phone furiously while Suga paced back and forth, angrily explaining the situation to his publicist over the phone. He swore he could get it taken down, and Hinata didn't doubt it, but it was already out there. Terushima could have seen it — he might already be on his way to find him. 

“You’re alright.” Ushijima whispered against his hair. 

Hinata didn’t believe that. “What if… he sees it?” 

“He can’t get in here.” Suga said quickly, holding his hand over the speaker on the phone. “Aone knows what he looks like and he won’t let him in.” 

Hinata nodded. At the very least, he knew that he was safe in their apartment. 

Ushijima squeezed him closer.

“Have you considered a restraining order?” Daichi suggested. 

“We’d have to contact the hospital. They have all the records from the day. And the police should still have the evidence.” Suga pondered aloud. 

Hinata frowned. The records, plus whatever DNA was left on his clothes from that day would probably be enough evidence to get a restraining order. He didn’t know what that process would entail.

“I can call when I’m done with this— yes?” Suga was brought back into the conversation on the phone. “I swear, the next call I’m making will be to a lawyer, Hiro!” He marched out of the room, but Hinata could still hear him cursing. 

“Hinata,” Ushijima’s baritone voice pulled him out of another near spiral, anchoring him. Hinata looked over at him and watched silently as his large hand gently took his. “Take a breath.” 

He did, or at least, he tried to. The gripping terror held his lungs captive, making it almost impossible to breathe. 

“What do you want to do?” 

Hinata shook his head. How was he supposed to know? He had barely made it out of that situation alive, and surely pressing charges would only make things worse. Whatever punishment Tersuhima wanted to dole out for leaving would be ten times as bad if Hinata actually tried to get him arrested. He could go after his family, his little sister, Kenma – Suga and Daichi would probably be okay, but Terushima was relentless. He could try and hurt Suga’s career. Go after him publicly, make up lies and rumors. 

Hinata could stop that from happening if he managed to get Terushima locked away for his crimes. But what if it didn’t work? What if he lost? What if Terushima got away with everything and was set free?

Free to hunt him down and get revenge.

“Shōyō.” Ushijima’s large hand was resting on his back. The pressure was gentle, but steadying, and Hinata grabbed Ushijima’s free hand like a lifeline. 

“I-I… I don’t know…” His voice trembled, the words barely above a whisper as a heavy sob wracked his body. “Wh-what i-if he f-f-finds… me? What i-if he goes… a-after y-y-you? O-or Suga?”

Ushijima pulled him close again, and all Hinata could do was cry and cling to him. “You don’t have to worry about us.” Ushijima’s voice was hushed against his hair; his breath soft and warm on his ear. “We’ll be fine. And so will you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“Ushijima, why don’t you take him to his room, it might help him calm down a bit.” He heard Daichi suggest, and when no one (not even himself) protested, Ushijima slowly guided him from the couch and to his bed.

Hinata sat on the edge and Ushijima cautiously joined him, the bed dipping slightly beneath his weight. It wasn’t long before he was wrapped up in Ushijima’s embrace. Hinata reveled in it, in the warm, familiar touch. He sucked in another unsteady breath, fresh tears stinging his eyes. God, he felt pathetic. He was once again unable to do anything except break down and could only rely on the others to help him. He wanted to get better, to be able to take care of himself, and them too. To give them the same support that they’re always offering him. 

He slowly uncurled himself from his hiding place, sat up and wiped his eyes. “No…” He looked down at Ushijima’s curious expression and let out a huff. “I’m done… hiding. I’m done not living my life because Terushima might show up!” He was filled with a new sense of tenacity. Something he thought he might have had in abundance at one point, something he missed. “And I’ll be careful! Obviously! But I’m not — I’m so sick of hiding and being afraid! I was always afraid when I was with him, I don’t want to be afraid now that I’m not with him!” He felt himself smiling. “I want to finish school! And go out with you and Suga! And visit Kenma and my parents! And just — just live my life!” 

The threat would be there, always lurking over his shoulder or hiding behind a corner, but he was no longer going to let it control him. He was finally coming back to life, to his life, and was never ever going back.

He looked up at his quiet boyfriend and was met with his wide smile. The sight made his heart skip a beat. “Wh-what are you smiling at?”

Ushijima’s fingers brushed through his hair, along the shell of his ear and down his jaw. The delicate touch sent a shiver down his spine. “I’m happy. And I’m proud of you.”

Hinata’s own smile widened at the praise. Yeah, this is a good thing. He threw himself at Ushijima again, sending them both back onto the bed. He snuggled up to his boyfriend, hiding his face in Ushijima’s massive chest. “Thanks.”

Ushijima ran his hand along his back and Hinata melted at the touch. “I hope you know that we’re all willing to help you, however you need.”

That much had already been proven since their meeting. Not everyone would go so far out of their way to help a stranger. “I know.” He breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes as Ushijima’s fingers found his hair. He could do this. 

Four months later.

With each day, the buzz surrounding the video died down. Suga (and all his influence) had managed to get the video and any articles about him taken down. But Hinata knew that no matter what, there would always be a copy of it out there, and there would be a chance of Terushima seeing it. True to his word though, Hinata had not let that fact stop him. Between his classes, helping out at Tendō’s bakery and spending time with Ushijima, he was keeping himself busy. It was exhausting, but he missed the feeling of having a life. Of filling his days with new, fun challenges. One of those being that he was spending less time at Suga and Daichi’s, and more at Ushijima’s place. 

Ushijima’s apartment was much less imposing than Suga’s. It was still clearly very high end, with a secure lobby and passcodes. It had a large kitchen and living area, both open and filled with natural light. There were only two bedrooms, one that Ushijima had turned into a workout area. The complex had a gym, but Ushijima insisted on having his own space. A fact that Hinata was happy about. He wasn’t exactly overjoyed with the idea of other people seeing his burly boyfriend working out in that skin-tight black t-shirt he was wearing. No, that was just for him. And while he enjoyed the sight of it, he wasn’t thrilled with Ushijima at the moment. 

His back hit the mat with a harsh slap and he let out a low groan. “Uh… you suck!” He opened his eyes to glare at his boyfriend, who was kneeling at his feet, looking pleased. 

“Ten more, come on.” Ushijima said, unwavering.

“Ten?!” Hinata balked. “I thought we were done working out!”

Ushijima chuckled. “Almost. Finish these, then we have to cool down and stretch.”

Hinata stared up at the ceiling, defeated. “Remind me again why I’m dating you?” 

“You’re the one that asked me to train you.” Ushijima reminded him. And yeah, he was right. Hinata had been the one to bring it up in the first place, but he didn’t think it would be this hard. 

“When I said train —” He exhaled as he sat up, then lowered himself back down. “I meant self defense!” 

“We did that earlier.” Ushijima explained, and Hinata only glared at him as he sat up again. “Adding some body weight exercises will help it’s effectiveness and boost your stamina.”

Hinata huffed, but kept repeating the exercise despite the burn in his stomach. “My stamina is fine!” Fine wasn’t exactly true. It wasn’t awful , but he definitely needed to work on it after being on bed rest for so long. 

Ushijima smiled and suddenly surged forward as Hinata sat up on the tenth rep. Their lips met in a messy, hot kiss and suddenly Hinata’s body didn’t hurt anymore. Ushijima slowly pulled back, lust brimming beneath his stare. “Should we test that theory?” 

Blush erupted across his cheeks at that look in his boyfriend’s eyes. He swallowed, feeling a sudden heat coiling in his lower stomach. God he wanted to say yes. He wanted to grab Ushijima and kiss him and rip that shirt off him and feel his muscles and —

“Come on.” Ushijima moved back and slowly stood up, his palm coming to Hinata’s knee. “You need to stretch.” 

Hinata hesitantly followed, not wanting to look down and see the obvious boner he wouldn’t be able to hide in his shorts. He quietly copied the positions Ushijima demonstrated. It was fine. He was starting to calm down after that… whatever Ushijima was trying to do to him, but then there were hands on his lips. 

“Don’t overextend yourself.” Ushijima’s breath was hot on his ear and he felt a gentle tug as Ushijima repositioned him slightly. “Better.” Hinata held his breath, trying to think of something else – anything other than his boyfriend’s chiseled body pressed up against him. But that proved difficult as they continued to stretch, and even once they were finished. 

Hinata stood in the kitchen, watching as Ushijima filled a cup of water for him. It was unfair, really. Even standing there, doing something so mundane, Ushijima looked like a goddamn supermodel. 

“Here, drink this.” He held out one of the glasses. 

Hinata slowly tore his eyes away from the bulging muscles on his boyfriend’s forearm and took the drink. “Thanks.” 

Ushijima nodded, then sipped his own. Hinata tried not to stare at his throat as he swallowed. “I’m sorry if that was tough on you. But you have improved a lot since we started.”

“Told you! ” Hinata grinned. “I’ll be able to take you down one of these days! 

Ushijima’s lips curled into a playful smirk. “Doubtful. ” 

Hinata nearly spit out the sip he had taken. “Don’t underestimate me! I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve!” 

“Yeah?” Ushijima leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Hinata’s temple. “I can’t wait to see them.” Hinata smiled up at him and Ushijima leaned down to kiss his lips lightly. He tasted salty with sweat, but Hinata loved it regardless. “Go shower off, I’ll make some lunch.” Ushijima urged him toward the bathroom.

Hinata spun around and grabbed Ushijima’s hand before he could fully pull away. The confusion on his boyfriend’s face was as adorable as it was entertaining, and he just couldn’t help himself. “Join me?” 

Even though they had been together for months, they haven’t gone much further than a heavy make out session. The reason for Ushijima’s hesitance wasn’t lost on Hinata. He was taking it slowly and carefully, and as much as Hinata appreciated that, it was also getting annoying. He was done being treated like a victim, done being treated like some delicate flower. And after all that teasing, he was done waiting.

“Hinata—”

“Shōyō. ” He scolded gently. No matter how many times he reminded his boyfriend, Ushijima still had a habit of using formalities. “C’mon Toshi!” He lazily tugged on Ushijima’s arm. “I’ll wash your back and you can wash mine. Please?"

He watched Ushijima take a slow, concentrated breath and let it out. “Are you sure?”

Hinata gave a confident nod and stepped into Ushijima’s space, his hand lifting to grab a handful of his shirt. “I’m sure.” He let his lips ghost over Ushijima’s, hoping to tease him as much as Ushijima had done to him earlier. 

Ushijima’s gaze roamed over his face, his eyes darkening with lust. Hinata shivered beneath the intense stare, not out of fright; out of anticipation. 

Another moment passed in the electric silence, then Ushijima surged forward to meet Hinata’s parted lips in a heated, hungry kiss. Heat erupted inside of him. His hands lifted, traveling the sculpted muscles along Ushijima’s torso as he felt himself being moved backwards, down the hall and toward the bathroom. They moved hastily, Ushijima guiding him despite being locked in kiss after kiss. Hinata grappled at his shoulders, his neck, anything , desperately trying to pull him closer. The door opened behind him and he felt the cool tile of the bathroom floor, then his back hit the counter. 

He let out a soft moan, stifled by the kiss. He pressed himself against Ushijima, those hands returning up his shirt. “Off—” he mumbled into the kiss before giving the command a second thought. “Take it off.” Ushijima took only a half step back, just enough space to tear off his shirt and toss it on the floor. Hinata smiled, his hands sliding up Ushijima’s now bare chest, “better.” He felt the rumble as Ushijima chuckled and slowly leaned down to leave a trail of kisses on his warm skin. Ushijima’s hands slid down his back, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt but he didn’t move. Hinata’s head lifted to look at him. “It’s okay.” He assured his boyfriend and stretched up to steal another kiss. 

With permission, Ushijima pulled the shirt up and over Hinata’s head. His own shirt hit the floor, landing beside Ushijima’s already discarded one, and Hinata moved to slide off his shorts when a large hand stopped him. He looked up to meet Ushijima’s furrowed expression. 

“Let me.” 

Hinata allowed his hands to be moved away and waited for Ushijima to do it. Instead, he felt his boyfriend’s lips graze along his shoulder and shuddered. “Toshi…”

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” Ushijima whispered against his jawline.

“I-I don’t want to stop…” Hinata felt breathless already. “I mean… I don’t want to do… everything yet but…”

Ushijima’s head lifted and they locked eyes, his expression heated and serious. “I was not planning on doing that with you tonight, Shōyō. All I want is to make you feel good.” His lips found Hinata’s neck again, leaving soft, slow kisses. “Is that alright?” 

Hinata nodded and sucked in a breath. If he was nervous, the feeling was outweighed by the lust boiling in his stomach. One of Ushijima’s hands settled on his waist, fingers curling and dipping beneath the band of his shorts. The other cupped his face, guiding him into a kiss. Hinata moaned against his lips as two of Ushijima’s fingers gently grazed his cock. 

Ushijima’s lips abandoned his in search of something more. Hinata tilted his head, giving his boyfriend more access, and Ushijima didn’t hesitate. He felt those lips find his jaw, his neck and shoulders. Following the spread of freckles across his body to his chest and pausing to mercilessly suck on his nipple. Hinata bit his lip, but it did little to quiet the whine in his throat.  

It had been so long since anyone had touched him like this, and touched him lovingly. Terushima’s hands were always rough and harsh. Taking and never giving. Never — no . Don’t think about him now, he told himself before he could start spiraling. Before his past could claw its way back and ruin this moment. 

“Shōyō,” Ushijima’s voice whispered against the sensitive bud. “Is this alright?”

Hinata nodded, “y-yes.”

“Alright.” Ushijima worked his way down further, leaving soft pink kiss marks on his fair skin. His hand slowly tugged his shorts down, passed his hips and let them fall to the floor. Hinata shivered at the sudden cold. He fought back the urge to cover himself up. “Tell me if it becomes too much.” 

Hinata looked down at his body, at the scars along his arms and torso. He hated the markings, the reminders of what Terushima put him through. He traced his fingers over a faded scar along his forearm, left from a particularly bad evening. But before he could lose himself in the memory of it, Ushijima’s lips were pressed atop the marred skin. Warmth spread from the kiss, seeping into his veins and bursting inside of him. Outshining the worries and the painful memories. Hinata smiled and caught Ushijima’s hazel gaze. 

“Okay.” 

Ushijima smiled and placed another kiss on his scar, “Okay.” He turned, and gingerly took hold of Hinata’s erect cock, tentatively stroking it. The touch was so light and so foreign that Hinata couldn’t help the gasping moan that fell from his lips. His hands lifted to Ushijima’s shoulders, steadying himself. His cock twitched in Ushijima’s grasp; the muscle hard and desperate for more. And when those lips finally graced his most sensitive part, Hinata let out a heavy gasp. His mind went blank and all he could feel, all he knew was the delicious and breathtaking pleasure shooting through his body. Ushijima took him in with ease; his tongue brushing along his throbbing cock with each stroke. 

“T-Toshi!” Hinata choked. His hands raked through Ushijima’s dark hair as heat surged through him and he fought the urge to roll his hips, to drive himself deeper into that dangerous wet warmth. He whimpered when Ushijima pulled back. His lips lingering at the tip and his eyes meeting Hinata’s half-lidded gaze. 

“Does it feel good?” 

Hinata nodded, “so good…” His fingers curled around Ushijima’s hair. “P-please don’t stop.” It was embarrassing to ask, but Ushijima didn’t tease him and only descended on him again. His head began to bob, creating a steady pace.

The pleasure began to swell, turning his low moans into harsh and gasping cries, and the heat in his stomach into an all-devouring inferno. Swelling and swelling until it threatened to burst and he couldn’t take it any longer. His hips rocked without thought, chasing the release he craved, driving himself past Ushijima’s lips until he saw stars. His body shuddered as he savored his climax and he felt Ushijima slowly release him with a soft pop . 

He looked down just in time to watch Ushijima’s tongue dart out to lick his lips clean. “Holy shit…”

“That good, huh?” Ushijima smirked up at him and all Hinata could do was nod. He felt his body sway, shaking hands tightening their grip on Ushijima’s shoulders. Ushijima’s arms enveloped him before he could collapse, lifting him off of his feet. His hands aimlessly reached for his boyfriend. He collapsed against him, his chest rising and falling heavily as he caught his breath. 

“That was…” Hinata smiled dreamily. “That was incredible…!”

Ushijima leaned down and Hinata kissed him, heat still brimmed beneath it alongside his new fatigue. Their lips found each other’s again and again, slow and soft and smiling, until Hinata felt something big and hard pressed against his stomach. He pulled back just enough to look down between them. Ushijima’s cock was rock-hard and his shorts pulled taut against it, the fabric straining to keep it contained. 

“Um… Toshi?” 

“You don’t have to worry about me, Shōyō.” Ushijima replied quietly. “It will settle down in a little bit.” 

His head tilted, resting against Ushijima’s shoulder as he looked up at him, “you sure?” 

Ushijima nodded, despite his deeply strained expression. Hinata didn’t want to leave it like that. He knew how uncomfortable it could be, and after what Ushijima had done for him he thought it was only fair. That, and… Hinata wanted to. He hadn’t given the prospect of sex much thought after Terushima, hadn’t planned on ever feeling fully comfortable to touch and be touched in such an intimate way. Yet, with Ushijima, it felt right. He longed for those big hands to touch him, longed for those warm embraces and hungry kisses. He longed to be with Ushijima, in every possible way.

“What if… I wanted to touch you?” He looked up to see Ushijima’s hesitant stare. “Can I?”

“You don’t have to,” Ushijima repeated himself. “I mean it, I’m not expecting anything from you, Shōyō.” To prove his point, he scooted back a little, giving Hinata more space. But Hinata didn’t want space. He wanted his boyfriend. 

Hinata crawled closer, naked knees cold against the tile. “I know.” He let his gaze lower to Ushijima’s groin. “But… I want to. I want to make you feel good too.” He reached out and let his fingertips graze the fabric of Ushijima's shorts.

Ushijima’s body jolted at the touch and he whispered through gritted teeth, “Shōyō…” 

Hinata leaned in, letting his lips ghost over his boyfriend’s. “Can I?” He dipped his fingertips beneath the hem of his shorts, slowly easing their way along Ushijima’s cock. 

Ushijima shuddered, his eyes skewed shut tightly. He was quiet for a moment, then finally whispered, “yes.” 

Hinata kissed him again, reveling in the way Ushijima’s tenseness immediately melted away. With the permission, and a new wave of confidence, Hinata pulled his boyfriend’s shorts down. A large, pulsating cock sprang out, and Ushijima hissed as the air hit his sensitive skin. Hinata’s eyes were wide as he took in the sheer size of it, but he didn’t let that stop him. His hands wrapped around Ushijima’s erect cock, slowly moving up the length of it. Ushijima moaned into another kiss, parting their lips to suck in a harsh breath before Hinata caught him again. 

Hinata’s strokes slowly gained speed. He loved the way Ushijima looked as he came undone; the way his breath caught whenever Hinata’s thumb teased the tip, the way he whimpered when Hinata leaned down to run his tongue along the underside. Hinata briefly considered sucking him off, but the size of it made him hesitate. It seemed that everything about Ushijima was big , but as Hinata worked his hands and tongue up and down the throbbing cock, he realized just how big it was. 

“Will it even fit…?” 

He hadn’t realized that he had said that aloud until he heard Ushijima laughing. 

“S-sorry!” Hinata blushed and started working again but Ushijima’s hands lowered to his waist and in one quick movement, he was pulled flush against him, “Toshi?”

Ushijima’s thumbs rubbed circles over Hinata’s hip bones and he leaned in close. “We’ll work our way up to it,” Ushijima hummed into his ear and Hinata melted. “There’s no rush.” Hinata shivered as Ushijima’s tongue traced the shell of his ear. “Or… if you like, you can fuck me.” 

It took a moment to click in Hinata's mind. "Wait… seriously?”

Ushijima nodded, “mhmm. I didn’t do it often, but I would be willing to try it again for you.” 

He had never considered Ushijima being the bottom or even a switch. Hinata himself had always been on the receiving end. He never had the chance to try anything else, never thought of it, never thought that he might want anything else. He looked down at Ushijima’s body - at his perfect, sculpted, gorgeous body - and realized that yes, he really wanted to try that. His cock twitched in against Ushijima’s, the blood pounded in his ears. 

“Okay… maybe.” He admitted quietly, “but not tonight.” 

Ushijima lifted his head from Hinata’s neck, “not tonight.”

Hinata leaned in and kissed him. Ushijima brought his hand down to where both of their cocks were beside each other and wrapped his fingers around both. Hinata gasped at the feeling, his hands coming to Ushijima’s shoulders to steady himself.

“Toshi—” His name was swallowed up by a hungry kiss as Ushijima began to stroke them slowly at first then gaining speed. Hinata’s already sensitive cock twitched and throbbed beneath each touch and he couldn’t keep himself quiet. His head tilted back, mouth opening to release a string of sounds he hadn’t thought himself possible of. Ushijima didn’t let up, as if spurred on by the cries of pleasure. His hands worked their cocks rapidly, teeth gritted and jaw tense. “Toshi — I’m - I—” His voice sunk into a string of moans as the pleasure seared through him. Ushijima devoured his neck, kissing and biting hungrily. His free hand traveled Hinata’s chest, fingers finding his swollen nipple and pinching gently. Hinata whimpered and writhed as the pleasure pulsed through him. 

“Come for me, Shōyō,” Ushijima’s guttural tone alone was enough to send him over the edge. “Come for me.” With a sharp cry, Hinata obeyed, and his body trembled as he came all over Ushijima’s hand. He collapsed onto his boyfriend’s chest, his body spent and sensitive but Ushijima’s hand kept at it as he worked to finish himself off. Hinata’s overly sensitive cock wept with cum and he writhed with the overwhelming pleasure until Ushijima’s body went taught, and he felt the man’s release hit his stomach. 

They sat in the afterglow of their climax, breathless and satisfied, for a few moments. Hinata lifted his head from Ushijima’s shoulder, trailing his lips across the warm skin of his neck and jaw and cheek until he found those lips again. Ushijima met him with a string of slow, lazy kisses. 

“Now we really do need to shower,” Hinata laughed against Ushijima’s lips. “Unless you wanna keep going.”

Ushijima kissed him again, catching his lower lip between his teeth, sucking and nibbling on it before letting go. Hinata felt a swell of heat in his stomach and tried hard to suppress a moan. “Don’t tempt me.” His grip on Hinata’s hips tightened. “The things I want to do with you…”

Hinata hummed beneath his growing smile. Before Terushima, he had never been with someone. He had never known what it could be like — that it could be like this. 

He leaned closer, resting his cheek against Ushijima’s shoulder, his lips brushing the side of his neck. “Next time, then.”

Chapter Text

Hinata 

The summer air hit him with a gentle breeze and warm sun on his freckled cheeks as he stepped out into the courtyard. A few students filed out around him, some heading to their next classes, and some pairing off to go enjoy the day. Hinata followed a pair of girls down the sidewalk that led past a few other buildings before reaching the entrance. The few classes he was taking were all mostly in the morning, leaving him plenty of time after to go help Tendō at the bakery. They worked on the techniques he had learned in class, Tendo helping him perfect it. Until Ushijima arrived to take him home, where they would eat and talk and not talk. 

Hot blush clouded his cheeks and he shook his head away from the image. They had yet to do everything together, but their heated nights were very clearly heading in that direction. Ushijima was always careful, always courteous and asking for his permission and consent. He never pushed, but was always ready for whatever Hinata wanted. It was new, being the one in control, but Hinata loved it. 

Hunger gnawed at him. Normally at this time he would eat lunch with Tendō at the bakery, but Tendō was out of town on business and he was sure Daichi was waiting at home. He glanced at the box in his hand, tempted to steal one of the cookies for himself rather than save them all for Suga and Daichi like he had planned, when he was suddenly yanked between two buildings with force. Hinata stumbled until his back hit the brick wall. 

“Wha—” Something gripped his throat hard and tight, silencing his voice. He looked up and his stomach dropped. He was staring at Terushima’s all too familiar and sinister smile. 

“There you are, Shōyō.” Terushima’s voice was thick with venom. “You’ve sure gotten better at hiding.” 

Hinata’s wide eyes grew wet with tears.

No.

No, no! No! 

His heart hammered in his chest, blood pounding in his ears. His body grew cold as terror seeped into his core. He had to move – to get away! It took a great deal more effort than he planned for. He managed to tear himself away and step around Terushima, but he wasn’t fast enough. His ex gripped his forearm so tightly that he thought he might snap it, and yanked him back. His back hit the wall, then Terushima’s fist hit him. First in his stomach, then his side. His skin stung and muscles ached from the impact. 

“You know, I really was about to give up until I saw that photo.” Terushima chuckled. “Your family blocked me and I had no idea where you went and then…” He grabbed a fistful of Hinata’s hair and yanked his head up. Hinata glared at Terushima’s smiling eyes. “It’s like fate, Shōyō.” 

Fate? No. No fate wouldn’t do this to him. Fate was Suga finding him on the sidewalk. Fate was Ushijima encouraging him to follow his dreams. Fate was him being accepted to college and studying with Tendō. Terushima was not his fate, not anymore. 

“Let go!” He grabbed hold of Terushima’s wrist, but Terushima’s grip on his hair only tightened. He moved Hinata to his will, dragging him along as they moved further into the alleyway. Hinata dug his heels in, desperate to get some kind of leverage against Terushima. He tried to remember the self defense moves that Ushijima had shown him, tried to get himself into that position, but his body wouldn’t respond. Still half frozen in fear.

Another hit to his stomach made his knees wobble and sent him to the ground. His body collapsed with a grunt. This pain, while familiar, hurt more than he remembered. If it had been a year ago, he would have barely noticed. In recent months, he had gotten better. His body had grown accustomed to Suga’s warm hugs and Ushijima’s gentle hands. 

“You’ve been really busy, huh?” He scrolled through the phone and pulled up the tweet. “People are really curious to know who you are. Should I post a picture of you now? Show them who you really are?” 

Hinata didn’t think he would actually do it, but when Terushima lifted his phone up he flinched away and hid his face. 

“Nah,” Terushima sneered. “I’d rather just keep this face for myself.” He crouched down in front of Hinata. The red head curled in on himself, trying to create as much distance between them as he could with his back against the wall. Terushima brushed his fingertips over his cheek. “I’ve missed you so much, Shōyō.” 

Hinata jerked away from the touch. “Don’t touch me!” 

Terushima’s smile fell at the edges and eyes darkened. Hinata knew that look all too well. A large hand grabbed Hinata’s face, forcing his lips to pucker and pulled him forward into a rough and messy kiss. Hinata felt his stomach twist and bile rise in his throat. Terushima held him there, trapping him for a few more seconds before pulling back just enough to let Hinata breathe. 

“Listen to me, Shōyō. You are going to leave them, you are going to leave him and come home with me. We’re going to be happy together like we used to be.” His breath was hot and stunk like liquor. “Understand?” Hinata gave a quick, short nod. 

Terushima finally released him. He pushed Hinata’s face away and instead reached down. Hinata whimpered when Terushima’s hand dove into his pocket, groping and feeling until he found what he wanted. Terushima pulled out his cellphone and typed in his old passcode. When the screen remained locked, those hate-filled eyes were on him again. 

“Open it.” He held the screen toward him. 

Hinata shakily put in his passcode and Terushima yanked it back before he could even consider calling someone for help. He watched helplessly as Terushima put his own phone number in and sent himself a text. 

“There.” His smile was full of malice. “Was that so hard?” He grabbed Hinata’s hand roughly and flipped it over before setting the phone on his palm. “Make sure you answer my calls and texts, Shōyō. I don’t like being ignored.” 

Hinata nodded, his jaw tight. 

Terushima leaned down and kissed the top of his hair. Bile rose in Hinata’s throat at the tender touch. “See you later, Shōyō.” The blonde spun around and walked off into the open courtyard, smiling to himself. 

Hinata listened to the footsteps taking Terushima farther and farther away, until it was drowned out by the rush of students talking and laughing. 

He swallowed a breath, then another, but the air wouldn’t make it to his lungs. “Fuck –” He tried again, sucking in a breath only to have it expell before he could get any relief. His body was shaking and hot, his mind blurring around the thought that this, this was the end. That he was surely dying, that he was – 

His therapist had given him exercises for this. She had given him so many tricks to break out of the spiral before it swallowed him whole.

Find five things you can see.

He looked around the alleyway, eyes darting wildly until he found something to focus on. A paper coffee cup, worn and used. Discarded. Beside it was a mound of loose gravel that had been dug up and misplaced. That was two. He looked again, eyes catching on the bright reflection of the sun hitting a puddle before following a student as they walked passed in a hurry and he stopped on a bush just starting to flower.

Then find four things you can touch.

Something he could touch. His fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, twisting and tugging on the soft cotton. A stark contrast to the small pendant around his neck. Shaking fingers brushed the metal, feeling the curves and edges. He dropped his other hand to the ground, dragging his fingertips across the grooved pavement. Tiny rocks and bits of dirt got stuck under his nails, but he didn’t care. He dug at it until his fingertips brushed the edge of the open box of cookies. That’s four.

Now three things you can hear. 

Hinata closed his eyes and tried to listen, tried to pick out something beyond the blood pounding in his ears. He could hear the cars rushing by, a horn honking. The sing-song chirps of birds as they perched around the courtyard, swirling round the group of students as they walked by, talking and laughing. 

And two things you can smell. 

He breathed in short rapid breaths, trying to catch something, and it finally hit him. Warm cinnamon and vanilla. He breathed again, searching for a second scent, and was bombarded with the sour stench of the garbage can across from him. Nausea swelled in his stomach and he swallowed the rising bile back down.

Lastly, find something you can taste.

His tongue darted out of his mouth, tracing over his torn lip, tasting the half dried blood. The salty, metallic flavor jolted his senses. 

He breathed in again, this time managing a longer breath, and he tried again. Silently going through the motions, going over what he can see, feel and smell around him as he breathed. In for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. He repeated the action, over and over until his body came back to him. His breaths began to slow and his vision began to clear. His grip loosened on his shirt, but his hands still shook. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, or how he ended up in the lobby of their apartment building with Aone holding the door for him. But before he knew it, he was standing in the elevator pressing the button for the top floor. It was silent, not even the soft music playing broke through the buzzing in his ears. Hinata watched the doors unblinking until they opened and he stepped out. 

The apartment was quiet, and for a brief second, Hinata thought he was alone. But as he stepped down the hall he saw Daichi on the couch, laptop on his legs as he worked. 

“Hey, did you eat?” Daichi asked without looking up. “I was thinking of ordering something. You in the mood for anything in particular?”

He thought that he might have been earlier, but he didn’t have an appetite anymore. 

“Hinata?” 

“No… uh…” He cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’m f-fine.” He didn’t look up, didn’t need to, to know that Daichi didn’t believe him. He and Suga had gotten scarily good at reading his body language. Hinata headed into the living room, head down, and hands fisted at his side. “Just order whatever you want.”

“Hinata,” Daichi was behind him and he felt a hand on his arm. He was surprised when he didn’t immediately flinch. Delayed reaction, he supposed. Which prompted Daichi to press on. “Do you want to talk about it?”

No. He didn’t. He really fucking didn’t. He wanted to keep on pretending like that afternoon hadn’t happened. Like Terushima never found him, never threatened him, never touched him. But the pain in his body, the new marks on his skin and the vibration of his phone as a text from Terushima came in, reminded him that it was real. That Terushima was waiting. 

He steeled himself. Going back wasn’t an option.

“He… found me at school.” He peeled his eyes away from the floor and finally looked at Daichi. “Terushima… he found me.”

Ushijima 

He leaned against the wall, watching as Sugawara spoke with the host when his phone started vibrating. He looked at the screen and smiled when he saw Hinata’s picture. It was one he had taken during a particularly early morning. Hinata was draped in one of Ushijima’s old t-shirts, clutching a cup of tea, with his hair sticking out in all directions and a sleepy smile on his face. 

Quietly, he stepped out of the room and into the hall before answering the call. “Hey Hinata, how was class?”

“Toshi,” Hinata’s voice sounded wrong. Hoarse and raw and weak. “Something happened… it’s not a big deal, but…”  Ushijima held his breath and braced himself for the worst. “Terushima showed up at my school. H-He… um… he cornered me, and–”

“Are you hurt?” Terror gripped him as he waited for Hinata to answer. 

“I’m okay.” Hinata said softly. “I’m… a little bruised, but I’m okay.”

Ushijima’s entire body went cold, his grip on the phone tightening. Was that all there was? Some bruising? He knew that Hinata tended to play down his problems, but surely he wouldn’t do that now with something so serious, right?

“Toshi?”

“Sorry. I’m here,” He said on a breath, “where are you right now?”

“Oh, I’m home with Daichi.” Hinata answered, and Ushijima felt some relief. At least he was safe. “He wanted to call the police but I wanted to talk to you guys first.”

Ushijima wanted to tell Hinata to hang up and call the police, but he held his tongue. The last thing Hinata needed right now was a lecture. “Okay.” He looked over to where Sugawara was sitting. The reporter was finishing up some notes while they talked. Hopefully they would be done soon. “Shōyō, please stay inside with Daichi. Don’t go anywhere. Sugawara and I will be home soon.”

“Okay.” Hinata replied. Ushijima assumed that his boyfriend wouldn’t have much desire or energy to go out, but he wanted to make sure. “Toshi, I’m sorry.”

Ushijima practically scowled, “Sorry? For what?” 

“For… this.” Hinata sniffled, “for all this shit in my life. It’s not fair that you have to deal with it–”

“Stop.” Ushijima cut him off, “Shōyō, just… stop. You have nothing to apologize for. None of this is your fault.” 

“It kinda is.” Hinata mumbled. 

Ushijima pulled the phone away from his face and took a moment to settle himself. He wanted to scream. Terushima was back in their lives. Hinata was hurt, and he didn’t know how badly. And to top it all off, Hinata still thought he was a burden. That all this was his fault. Ushijima knew that feeling all too well. The guilt and the blame and the self-hatred. But after five years, he had healed. He had clawed his way out of that dark hole he had been in with his ex and dealing with the resurgence of Terushima threatened to send him straight back.

“Shōyō,” Ushijima breathed out, carefully leveling his voice. “No, it isn’t. This is not your fault, and I’m not upset because I have to deal with this. I’m upset because I care about you and you’re hurt. Do you understand?”

The line was quiet for a few moments before he heard a muffled, “yes.”

“I promise, I’m not upset with you, Shōyō.” He assured Hinata again. “I’m just,” He took a shaky breath. Fear gripped at his chest and throat, tearing its way through whatever resolve he had managed to gain. “I’m scared.”

“Toshi…” Hinata whispered. “I’m really okay. I’m okay.”

Ushijima nodded, trying to find strength in the truth in those words. “Okay… okay.” He had to trust that Hinata was telling him the truth, and had to trust that he was actually okay. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Shōyō.”

Waiting for Sugawara to finish his work was agony. He couldn’t interrupt the interview because, while the entire situation felt like an emergency, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait an hour or two. Hinata was at home with Daichi. He was safe. 

When they got back, Hinata was there waiting for them in the hallway, small body practically swimming in one of Ushijima’s hoodies. Ushijima watched as Sugawara approached him, hesitated, then quickly hugged him when Hinata reached for him. He met Hinata’s eyes. Red rimmed and dull; he had been crying. It made Ushijima’s chest ache.

Sugawara released Hinata, moving on to crash into Daichi and freeing a path to Ushijima’s boyfriend.  

Ushijima approached him carefully. As if he would startle and run away at the slightest movement. 

“Hey Toshi,” Hinata smiled. It was small and lacked its usual brightness, but Ushijima could still make out a glint of sparkle in those honeyed eyes. 

His hand hovered above Hinata’s bruised cheek as he croaked out quietly, “are you okay?” 

Hinata nodded. “I’m okay.” He placed his smaller hand atop Ushijima’s and pushed his face against his palm. Ushijima’s thumb accidentally brushed the bruise and Hinata flinched but didn’t pull away. Not even when Ushijima attempted to. “I’m okay, Toshi. I promise.” 

Ushijima nodded, swallowing back the lump in his throat. Hinata was okay. He was safe, now, but he hadn't been. He had been in real danger. 

“Hinata, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there… that I didn’t protect you—”

“What?” Hinata gaped. “Toshi, you couldn’t have known that he would show up!” 

“Still, I… should have tried harder. Or been there to pick you up.” 

“You were working,” Hinata replied, “and he hadn’t done anything for months, Toshi. We had no idea he would do this.” 

Ushijima let his head fall on Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata was right, of course. They had no way of knowing that Terushima would show up. They hadn’t heard from him in months, and Ushijima had foolishly let himself believe that it was over. 

“I’m okay, Toshi.” Hinata squeezed him tightly and Ushijima melted into the touch. “I’m okay.”

The evening progressed as normally as it could, given the circumstances. Daichi ordered dinner from one of their favorite places and they all ate together. Conversations started and faded quickly, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the room. Any attempt at discussing the situation was quickly stopped by Hinata. Suga had first tried to suggest going to the hospital to get himself checked out. Hinata refused. Daichi offered to contact the police to get a restraining order, but Hinata was hesitant. Eventually they stopped and finished the meal in silence. But all Ushijima could focus on was the marks  on Hinata’s throat. It was a hand print that marred his beautiful skin; Terushima’s handprint. Ushijima tried and failed to ignore it. All evening he felt his attention being drawn back to it, and each time the nauseous feeling in his stomach worsened. 

After dinner, they settled in Hinata’s room, sprawled out on his bed. Ushijima taking up the majority of it while Hinata curled in at his side. A movie played quietly on Hinata’s laptop, but neither of them were paying much attention. Hinata’s eyes followed the movement on the screen, but something about his stare told Ushijima that he wasn’t present. Ushijima watched as Hinata rubbed at his throat. He frowned, and felt anger build inside of him, and just behind it, he felt fear. Hinata had been in real danger, Terushima could have easily injured him more or worse. He felt it grow in the pit of his stomach, and felt his mind begin to spiral. What if Hinata is hiding a worse injury? What if there’s internal bleeding? He almost died the last time – he could still be dying – 

“I still think you should go to the hospital.” The words left him before he could stop himself. 

“I’m fine, Toshi.” Hinata said softly, his voice hoarse. “It’s not so bad. I’ve had worse.” He looked up and smiled small, “at least nothing’s broken this time.” 

Ushijima’s eyes widened. “Shōyō  You can’t pretend that this isn’t a big deal. He came to your school and attacked you. You could have been seriously injured or…” He doesn’t say it. He can’t even imagine it. 

Hinata stilled beside him and Ushijima felt fear clawing its way up his throat. He didn’t mean to push. He didn’t want Hinata to feel like he didn’t have a choice, but this was serious. This wasn’t something they could pretend didn’t happen or ignore and hope it goes away. 

Finally, Hinata let out a soft sigh. “ You’re right… he… he’s not going to stop.” Hinata rolled into his side, hiding his face against Ushijima’s chest and groaning. “God I just… I want this to be over!”

Ushijima swept him up into a secure embrace, both arms wrapping completely around him and holding him tight. “I know.”

Hinata was quiet and Ushijima could feel his uneven breathing. “We can go. To the hospital, I mean.”

Relief bloomed in his chest when Hinata agreed. He leaned down and kissed Hinata’s soft hair. “Thank you.”

The drive to the hospital was silent. Hinata had closed his eyes, resting his head back against the seat, exhausted and hoping to get a little rest despite the short drive. Sugawara and Daichi stayed behind to draw less attention to Hinata and Ushijima. They didn’t need paparazzi hounding them.

They were taken to a room shortly after they arrived. Hinata insisted that he come with them despite the wary stares from the nurses. Ushijima understood how it looked, but it killed him a little to know that they thought that he might be the one who gave Hinata those bruises. 

Once in the room, the nurse instructed Hinata to undress and put on a gown before stepping out. Hinata started to but flinched when he tried to remove the hoodie. 

“Do you want help?” Ushijima offered. 

“Yeah.” Hinata looked dejected, ashamed that he couldn’t do it himself. 

Ushijima carefully helped him pull off the hoodie, then his shirt. Collecting both in his arms so he could set them aside for later. He tried not to stare, but the dark bruises on Hinata’s abdomen were impossible to ignore. Hinata quickly removed his pants and slid the gown on, blocking the injuries from sight once again. 

Ushijima cleared his throat. “The officers should be here as well so we can file the report tonight and we can have them draft a restraining order.”

Hinata nodded, his hands holding the gown closed tightly. Ushijima hated it, he hated how ashamed Hinata looked. He wanted to hold him, to kiss him and tell him that he doesn’t have to hide it. Instead, he stepped closer, sliding his arm around Hinata’s shoulders to draw him in. Hinata didn’t shy away from him or the touch. He closed his eyes and leaned against Ushijima’s side, and they both took a moment to relax in each other’s warmth.

The nurse returned a minute later with a doctor. They examined the new injuries and compared them to his previous ones. The pattern was similar, but thankfully these were far less severe. There was no internal bleeding, no concussion or broken bones; only deep bruising. Hinata would heal up fine in a week or two. Knowing that Hinata wasn’t nearly as injured as he had been that first night didn’t make Ushijima feel any better after seeing the dark purple bruises on his stomach and rib cage. 

The doctor took pictures of each injury to add to the file; more evidence to help their case. And a few minutes later two police officers were brought into the room. 

Ushijima listened to Hinata recount the attack again, as well as all of the others. The first time Terushima hit him, over something as stupid as a burnt meal. After that it progressively got worse; the attacks went from rare to nearly everyday. Terushima found any reason to hurt him, and sometimes just did it for the fun of it. 

He couldn’t help but think back to five years earlier. When it was him sitting in the exam room, talking to the doctor and the police officer. Trying to get them to understand what had happened — trying to get them to see that despite his size and stature, he had been hurt. It didn’t help that his only visible injuries had been a bruised cheek and cut on his forehead from where Goshiki’s plate had made contact. He only needed three stitches. It was nowhere near as severe, which of course made it harder to convince the police of his situation. Hinata wouldn’t have to go through that. With the past attack and now this one, the police were quick to understand. 

“Alright, I think we’ve got everything we need.” The officer stated before closing his notepad. “We’ll file this and prepare the restraining order tonight. He should receive it within the next twenty-four hours.” He pulled out a business card and handed it to Hinata. “If anything else comes up, this is my direct line.”

Hinata took it, looking at the name and number for a moment. “Thank you.” 

The officers stepped out, followed by the medical staff once they had given Hinata his discharge papers. And then they were alone again. 

Hinata was quiet, his eyes lowered to the hands folded in his lap. Ushijima walked over to the bed. 

“Shōyō?”

“I… don’t know why I’m so freaked out…” Hinata’s voice trembled, the sound of it shattering Ushijima’s heart. “It was just an exam… I mean… it’s not like he…”

Ushijima carefully brought his hand to Hinata’s back, rubbing slow, small circles between his shoulder blades. “Whatever you’re feeling is valid, Shōyō. This whole process… it's a lot.”

Hinata nodded and sniffled, his body shaking slightly. He slowly looked up and Ushijima’s heart dropped. Fresh tears filled Hinata’s usually bright eyes, his breaths were rapid and uneven. He looked so broken. Ushijima quickly wrapped him up in his arms. Hinata clung to him and he could feel the wetness on his shoulder from the tears, but he didn’t care. Hinata could ruin a thousand sweaters and he would still always hold him like this. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other until Hinata finally calmed down. It only took a few minutes until his breathing settled into a normal pattern and the tears dried on his cheeks, but Ushijima would have stayed as long as he needed to. Hours, days, whatever Hinata needed, he would do it.

Eventually, and only once he was sure that Hinata was ready, Ushijima helped Hinata dress. Once they were finished, Hinata gathered up the paperwork and stuffed it into his pockets while Ushijima slid his coat on. 

“Do you have everything?” Ushijima asked.

Hinata nodded. “Yeah. Didn’t bring much.” He smiled slightly and walked over to him. “Toshi, are you okay?”

“You’re worried about me ?” Ushijima asked, confusion clear on his face.

“Well, yeah. You seem really… unsteady right now.” Hinata replied. “Is it because of your trauma? You said you had to go through all this too.” 

Ushijima nodded slightly. He had shared his own story with Hinata a month into their relationship with great unease. He never enjoyed sharing it, but he already knew everything about Hinata’s.  Hinata deserved to know his as well. 

“I was. For a moment.” He admitted quietly. 

Hinata’s fingers squeezed around his. “What happened after you did all this?” 

Ushijima thought back to it. “I packed up all of my things while Goshiki was at work and left. The police delivered the restraining order to him later that day. He never tried to contact me after that, so… I suppose I was lucky.”

“So, that’s that then.” Hinata said with determination. “I already got all my stuff and don’t live there. And once the police serve him the papers, he won’t ever contact me again.” He smiled and Ushijima couldn’t help but return it despite the pit in his stomach. He wanted to tell Hinata that it might not be that simple; that Goshiki and Terushima were two very different people. But not tonight. 

“Right.” He said softly. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Hinata smiled.

Ushijima untangled their hands and instead, wrapped his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. Hinata’s head fell against his side. “Hinata, I promise I won’t let anything else happen to you.”

Hinata sighed and leaned closer, “I know. I’m really glad we’re together, Toshi.”

Ushijima smiled softly, his heart fluttering. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Hinata’s hair. “So am I.”

Chapter Text

Hinata 

Hinata glanced at his phone, checking the time. Class was almost over and Ushijima would be on his way to pick him up. Every day, whether it was to school or shopping or to the bakery, Ushijima escorted him. Of course Sugawara insisted on it, and instead assigned Kyotani to himself and Daichi full time. The protectiveness felt a little excessive, but Hinata honestly didn’t mind. With Ushijima there, he doubted that Terushima would try anything. And if it meant that he got to spend more time with his boyfriend, then what was the harm?

“Boyfriend picking you up again?” His classmate, Nishinoya, asked. 

Hinata nodded and gave him a smile. “Yeah. He’s driving me to work after.”

“Right! You work at a bakery, yeah?” Nishinoya let out a loud hum. “I could never. I’d eat everything on sight.”

“Trust me, it’s really hard not to. Last week we made this white chocolate mousse with blueberries in it and Tendō literally had to drag me away from the fridge!” Hinata laughed and packed his notebook into his backpack, then slung it over his shoulders. 

“Oh my god that sounds amazing!” Nishinoya groaned with jealousy as they walked out of the room and into the hall with the other students, everyone heading to their next classes or leaving for the day. “Okay, well, I gotta head to the arts building.” Nishinoya glanced at his cellphone, “have fun at work!”

“Thanks!” Hinata waved as Nishinoya turned to walk down the hall. Hinata spun to head in the other direction and only made it a few steps before someone grabbed his arm. He looked back, half expecting to see Nishinoya standing there, but was instead greeted by Terushima’s scowl. Panic seared through him, threatening to leave Hinata frozen like the last time. He pushed it back, pushed it as far away as he could and yanked his arm out of Terushima’s grasp.

“Get away from me!” Hinata pulled out his phone as he backed away, “you’re not allowed to be here! I-I’m calling the police!” 

That didn’t scare Terushima as much as Hinata had hoped, it really only seemed to piss him off. Terushima lunged toward him and Hinata stumbled back, just barely dodging the attack, but collided with the water fountain, unintentionally boxing himself in. Terushima grabbed him; pain shot through his wrist, the muscles and bones screaming at him. With his other hand, Terushima ripped the phone from Hinata’s grasp and tossed it. Hinata heard it clatter to the floor and hoped that it wasn’t broken. 

“You really thought a piece of paper would protect you?” Terushima leaned in and Hinata inched back as far as he could. “You really thought you could get away?”

Hinata glared up at him, determined to stand his ground despite the terror threatening to cripple him. “I’m not afraid of you!”

Terushima only smiled, and the sight of it made Hinata’s stomach drop. “I can fix that.”

“Let me go! Let go!” Hinata screamed, “Help–” Terushima’s hand wrapped around his mouth and nose. His other arm wrapped around his chest. Hinata was pulled back and pressed against Terushima’s front with an iron grip.

“Be a good boy now, Shōyō.” Terushima whispered into his ear. “There’s no need to make a scene.”

Hinata tried to scream, tried to fight him off, but Terushima’s grip was dangerously tight. They walked through the back stairwell and out a side door; Terushima obviously trying to avoid as many students as possible. They moved down the sidewalk and toward a parked car. Hinata immediately recognized it as Terushima’s, and Hinata knew instinctively that if he got in that car, he would never come back. He had to get away. 

Pushing against Terushima again, he felt the grip on his arms loosen just slightly. Hinata’s mind was racing. He tried to recall what Ushijima had taught him; all those self defense moves. What the hell were they again…?

Hinata grabbed Terushima’s wrist and brought his heel down on top of Terushima’s foot. The blonde yelped and his grip loosened a little more. Hinata pushed his arms forward and spun out of Terushima’s hold, then brought his wrist down at an awkward bent angle. Terushima groaned in pain and reached for Hinata with his free hand, but Hinata backed away and took off down the sidewalk. 

He ran as fast as his legs would take him. He heard Terushima yelling for him but he didn’t stop. Eyes forward, breath heavy, he just kept running. Over the stone steps, through the glass doors and down a hall.

Someone caught Hinata’s arm and he spun around - ready to fight them off - but he collided with a large, solid chest.

“Get off! Get—”

“Shōyō!” Ushijima caught his hand before it could make contact. “Shōyō it’s me!” 

Hinata blinked and looked up at him. “Toshi…” Tears welled in his eyes. Ushijima was there — he was there. How was he — no, it didn’t matter. He didn’t care. If Ushijima was there, he was safe. Hinata threw himself against Ushijima, wrapping his arms as far around his boyfriend’s frame as he could. He felt Ushijima’s arms cradle him, listened to the steady, strong heartbeat in his chest and within seconds, his entire body began to relax. 

“It’s okay.” Ushijima pressed his nose into Hinata’s curls, “you’re okay.” 

He was okay. Hinata repeated the mantra over and over until every cell in his body believed it. He was okay . He got away, he fought back and he survived it. He was okay. 

Hinata looked up and practically shouted, “He’s here! Terushima’s here! He grabbed me and tried to get me into his car but I used that move you showed me and it worked! Toshi it fucking worked!” He smiled, filled with adrenaline and pride. “And then I just ran! Like —”

“Shōyō!” 

His smile immediately vanished and before he could say anything, he was pulled behind Ushijima’s large frame, protected and hidden. He grabbed a handful of Ushijima’s shirt, hesitantly peeking around to see the blonde approaching them. Terushima stopped a few feet away, his eyes wide as he looked at Ushijima. Hinata felt a tinge of pride swell in his chest knowing just how much bigger Ushijima was than Terushima. There was no way Terushima could beat him in a fight. 

“Shō,” Terushima started, slowly meeting his gaze. “We’re not done talking.” 

“Yes, you are.” Ushijima said, his voice low and brimming with unspoken threats. Hinata had only heard that tone once before, when a reporter had gotten too aggressive and too close to Suga. And he knew that Ushijima would make good on it.

Terushima scowled. “I don’t know who you are but this is between me and Shōyō.”

Ushijima straightened up, easily towering over “I’m Hinata’s boyfriend.” 

In any other situation, Hinata would have laughed at the twisted expression on Terushima’s face. 

“Boyfriend? ” He looked at Hinata then, eyes narrowing. “You little slut. Opening that ass for anyone, huh?” Terushima stepped forward but Ushijima’s hand hit his chest, holding the smaller man back.

“Back off.”

Terushima glared at Ushijima, but he didn’t move or back down. By now a small crowd had begun to gather around them, students and teachers alike. Hinata could see how uneasy Terushima was becoming. A few students started filming, unsure of the situation but wanting to document evidence. For once, Hinata was grateful for the eyes on them. 

“The police are on their way.” Ushijima stated.

“And?” Terushima smirked, but Hinata could see the fear in his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to get away this time. He knew it, and Terushima knew it. 

“And you would be wise to not try anything else.” Ushijima squared his shoulders, though he didn’t really need to do anything else to completely overpower Terushima. Still, Hinata enjoyed the way Terushima squirmed beneath his boyfriend’s glare. 

Terushima took a small step back but his eyes found Hinata’s again. “Shō, come on. What’s with all the theatrics? We can talk about this like grown ups.”

Hinata swallowed, “Just… stay away from me, Terushima!”

Rage erupted on Terushima’s face, but before he could say anything else, three police officers barreled into the hallway. Terushima took off running in the opposite direction. Ushijima reached out to grab him but Hinata stopped him. The officers were quick, and Terushima only made it about ten feet before they had him. 

“Terushima Yuji, you are under arrest for assault and the violation of a restraining order against you..”

Seeing Terushima pinned up against the wall like that, Hinata almost felt bad for him. After all, he knew what that felt like better than anyone. 

“Toshi,” Hinata tugged on his sleeve. Ushijima looked down at him. “Can we go?”

“We need to talk to the police officers, but–” He paused, “we can step outside. Is that okay?”

Hinata nodded, and the two walked out into the courtyard. Hinata sucked in a breath, closing his eyes to enjoy the fresh air.

“Here, let’s sit down.” Ushijima guided him to a bench and he followed. Sitting beside his boyfriend, Hinata only then realized how exhausted he was. The adrenaline had left him, and his body felt heavy and weak. His head lolled to the side, his temple resting against Ushijima’s arm. Ushijima moved to slide his arm out from beneath Hinata and wrap it around him, and Hinata didn’t mind at all. They sat in silence, Hinata trying to catch his breath and slow his rapid heartbeat; Ushijima just holding him, steady and still beside him. 

“You used the self defense moves?” Ushijima asked after a moment.

Hinata opened his eyes and smiled, “Yeah! It was awesome.” 

Ushijima chuckled then leaned down to kiss his hair, “I’m proud of you.”

Hinata beamed at the praise, at the pride he felt for himself. A year ago, he wouldn’t have imagined any of this was possible, especially not himself fighting back and winning. 

The doors opened and the police officers walked out of the building, practically dragging Terushima with them. He was handcuffed and pissed off. Hinata watched as he cursed at the officers, at the students watching, then at him. He pressed closer to Ushijima but kept watching. He needed to see it; he needed to see Terushima get taken away. Terushima struggled against the officer’s hold as the other opened the door, but they forced him inside without much trouble. And when the door shut, trapping him, Hinata finally let himself relax. 

“How did you know?” Hinata asked, turning to look at Ushijima. “I mean… I know you were on your way, but you knew he was here.”

“I called you," Ushijima explained, “your friend answered. Apparently he found your phone in the hall. He told me that you were fighting with someone and I assumed that it had to be Terushima.”

“Noya?” Hinata looked across the grass to where Nishinoya was talking to a police officer. He hadn’t realized that Nishinoya was there, that he probably heard the whole argument. 

Ushijima nodded. “I asked him to follow you while I called the police, so I knew where to go once I got here.”

“Oh,” Hinata said softly, “wow. That’s really smart.”

“Well, I do have some professional experience in this area.” Ushijima smiled, and Hinata laughed. “Speaking of which, Sugawara and Daichi were alerted and are meeting us at the police station.”

Hinata frowned. He dreaded the idea of yet another trip to the police station, where he would no doubt need to recount his abuse for the umpteenth time. “Do we have to?”

“If you intend to press charges, yes.” Ushijima, like always, didn’t sugarcoat it. 

Hinata was unsure of what he wanted. He watched Nishinoya speak to the officer; he had only known Nishinoya for a month and now he had been dragged into this mess. Suga, Daichi, Ushijima, his parents, Kenma and Kuroo, and now Noya… everyone was trying to help him. Everyone. 

“Do you want to press charges?” Ushijima asked.

Part of him didn’t want to do anything else. He just wanted to go home and stay there and never leave. He wanted to ignore the situation and pretend it hadn’t happened. He wanted it to just go away. But if it was going to go away , he would have to do something about it. He thought back to all the times Terushima had him pinned, had him crying and begging for mercy. He couldn’t do anything back then, all he could do was run. That wasn’t the case anymore. Hadn’t he just proved that? He fought back against Terushima, he fought back and won. 

Hope swelled in his chest. He could do this. He could face Terushima. 

Hinata turned to look at Ushijima and nodded, “Yes.” 

1 year later

With everything that had happened, Hinata felt like he had aged five years in the last six months. They had spent the beginning of the last year in and out of court hearings. With all the evidence against him, the trial proceeded pretty quickly; Terushima was found guilty and sentenced to six years in jail. After they had settled everything, once he knew that everyone was safe from Terushima for good, Hinata decidedly didn’t look back. He studied and worked hard, and was nearly finished with his degree. When he wasn’t in class, he was working with Tendō or experimenting in Suga’s kitchen on his own. And of course, he spent the rest of his time with Ushijima. Hinata spent more time at Ushijima’s apartment, slowly leaving bits and pieces of himself there: a drawer opened up for his clothes, an extra toothbrush was added to the bathroom. Ushijima even invested in some new baking pans for Hinata to use when he was there. Ushijima was slowly making his home into their home, and Hinata couldn’t be happier.

Hinata stared at the suit jacket laid out on the bed beside the others. All carefully placed so as not to cause any wrinkles. He didn’t expect an invitation to their wedding let alone Suga to ask him to be a groomsman, but there he was. The others were spread out, makeup artists and hairdressers all working to make sure that everyone looked perfect. Suga had insisted to his own that they should take care of Hinata first before starting on him. He didn’t need much makeup, but the little bit under his eyes helped hide his exhaustion. His hair on the other hand was nearly impossible to style, so they only tamed his curls a little. He looked good, a little more grown up, and he wondered how Ushijima would like it. 

“Hey, sorry, sorry!” Yamaguchi rushed into the room, carrying a black fabric bag over his shoulder. 

“Late! ” Suga huffed from his seat in front of the mirror. The hairdresser above him chuckled as she worked through his ashen locks. 

“I know! Blame Kenma!” Yamaguchi quickly threw off his jacket and started to undress. 

“What did Kenma do?” Hinata asked with a growing smile. 

“Oh I think we can all see what Kenma did,” Oikawa mused, pointing to a spot on Yamaguchi’s collarbone where someone had left a trail of hickies. 

Yamaguchi blushed brightly. “Listen… it’s — he just — he never wants to in the morning! But then this morning he was really into it! I couldn’t just leave!” 

Everyone laughed, and a handful of them kept lightly teasing him. Yamaguchi’s blush burned across his freckled face and for a moment he thought he might just leave, but when Yamaguchi looked up again he was smiling. 

“It’s okay, Yamaguchi,” Suga said before standing up once his hair stylist had finished. “You made it, that’s what’s important. Now just get dressed before the photographer gets here.” He gave Yamaguchi’s arm a gentle squeeze before carefully sliding on his suit jacket. 

“Sugaaa!!” Oikawa squealed from his spot on the large bed. “You look amazing!!” 

The room erupted with agreement from everyone. Suga was dressed in a tailored forest green suit, accented with a floral tie. While his groomsmen wore black with a matching green tie. All except for Kiyoko, who wore a slim fitted black dress. She stepped forward to adjust Suga’s pocket square. 

“Daichi’s gonna love this color on you.”

Suga blushed, “You think?”

“Yeah!” Hinata agreed, “I mean, I’m pretty sure he’d love you in anything.”

“Or nothing.” Yamaguchi quipped.

Suga turned to them and winked, “that is his favorite.”

Beside him, Suga’s younger brother dramatically covered his ears. “Gross, gross!”

Suga laughed and grabbed his brother’s hands, pulling them off his ears. “Grow up, Naoki! I’m getting married and I’m gonna fuck my husband.”

Naoki groaned, but Hinata could see the smile curling his lips. “Okay! Shit! Just don’t tell me about it!”

There was a knock on the door and Yamaguchi ran to answer it. In the hall, Tendō stood, carrying two large white boxes in his hands. 

“Hello everyone!” He stepped inside while Yamaguchi held the door open. “Sorry for the intrusion, but I wanted to bring you some treats while you get ready.” He set the boxes down on the table as everyone crowded around. “Complimentary, of course.” 

Inside the boxes was a collection of different tarts, mini cakes and chocolates. All beautifully decorated to match the wedding theme. Ever since it was announced that he would be making Suga’s wedding cake, Tendō’s bakery had gotten a lot more popular. So much so that he had to hire some extra staff and expand to a new, bigger building. 

“Oh my god! Those look good Tendō-San!” Suga gaped, staring at the spread before wrapping Tendō up in a hug. “Thank you! Thank you!” 

Tendō returned the embrace lightly before Suga released him and started picking through the treats. “You’re very welcome. Although, I can’t take all the credit for these.” He looked at Hinata and the others followed. Hinata felt himself shrink a little beneath the attention. Among the staff hired, Hinata was the first Tendō chose, promising that a full time job would be waiting for him once he was ready.

“Hinata, did you — you made these?” Suga stepped toward him.

“Uh… yeah.” Hinata nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean, Tendō helped a lot but… yeah.” 

Tendō tsked quietly. “I didn’t help much. He’s a proper patissier now.” 

“Oh my god!” Before Hinata could react, Suga had him in a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Hinata!” 

Blush crept up the sides of Hinata’s face, but he happily returned the embrace. “Thanks…” 

He watched as the group started picking at the desserts, complimenting the design and taste. Hinata could still hardly believe that people actually liked what he made. The first day that Tendō put some of his cakes on display, he was terrified and sure that no one would notice or like them. Tendō reassured him, and by the end of the day only a slice of chocolate remained. Hinata was forced to fully accept it then that day — the fact that he was good at what he did. That the people around him weren’t lying to protect his feelings. He was good at something, really good, and he was slowly letting himself believe it. 

“Photographer’s here!” Shimizu called from the doorway. “Everybody decent?”

“Define decent,” Oikawa snickered.

Suga laughed, “We’re good!”

The photographer stepped inside, careful to not open the door completely to avoid anyone in the halls catching a glimpse of Suga before he was ready. He was tall, with a head of dark curly hair and thick eyebrows above a pair of sleepy eyes. 

Oikawa turned just in time to see a camera pointed at him. “No Matsukawa!! Let me finish my hair first!” 

“Your hair is fine, Oikawa.” Shimizu replied. “You’ve been fussing with it for an hour. We should be fussing over Suga, not you.” 

Oikawa huffed, but did finally step away from the mirror. 

Suga finally released Hinata and walked over to Matsukawa. “Did you already get some of Daichi? Can I see?” The photographer nodded and happily started showing Suga some of the pictures.

Hinata looked over at Tendō, who was staring and practically gaping at the photographer. Well that was new. He and Tendō hadn’t really ever discussed their preferences, but it was extremely clear that Matsukawa was his. Hinata reached over and nudged Oikawa to alert his attention to Tendō. The brunette smirked.

“Matsukawa! You really need to get a shot of these beautiful desserts!” 

Matsukawa did as they requested and moved to where the desserts were laid out, his jaw dropping a little as he took it all in. “Whoa! These are incredible.”

“Aren’t they?” Oikawa mused as he stepped over to where Tendō was trying to make his escape. “They’re from the world renowned Tendō Satori!” He slung his arm across Tendō’s shoulders, spinning the man toward the photographer. “He’s truly an artist!”

“I told you, Hinata made most of those —”

“And so modest!” Oikawa continued, plucking one of the more decadent looking chocolates from the table and holding it out to the photographer. “Come on, Mattsun! Try one!”

Matsukawa took the chocolate and bit into it. As the taste hit his tongue, Hinata could see the joy in his eyes and smiled to himself. He’d gladly let Tendō take the credit for the chocolates if it meant Matsukawa might give him a chance. 

“They’re delicious!” Matsukawa said with a mouthful and Tendō’s face lit up with blush.

Oikawa gingerly pushed Matsukawa toward Tendō before stepping away. “He fell hard, huh?” He whispered to Hinata.

“Seems like it.” Hinata laughed. 

They spent the next hour putting the finishing touches on their looks and posing for pictures. Suga gave each of them a gift: something personal for each of them to remember the day. Hinata’s was a recipe book of both Suga’s and Daichi’s family recipes, and a collection of rare, organic baking extracts. He stared at the flavors in awe, knowing just how expensive they must have been. He couldn’t wait to bring them to work and show Tendō.

After everyone had their gifts, Suga gave a small speech, thanking all of them for their friendship and for their support. Hinata could see how much he was trying not to cry, and when one tear escaped they all ran over, trying to dry it before it ruined any of the makeup artist’s work. Once Suga was again ready for his wedding, Oikawa held up his glass, and they all said a toast to the future Sawamuras. 

The wedding ceremony was quick and beautiful. Suga and Daichi exchanged their own vows, both of which had Hinata fighting back tears. While Daichi shared how much being with Suga changed him and made him a better person, Hinata stole a glance at his boyfriend who was sitting in the front row. Ushijima smiled, and for a moment Hinata felt as if it was Ushijima saying those words to him. Thanking Hinata for being exactly who he is, thanking him for choosing to love him every single day. 

When Suga shared how grounded he felt with Daichi – how when his world was spinning out of control he always knew that Daichi was there to catch him – Hinata thought the same of Ushijima. Ushijima was a constant and protective presence in his life. Hinata knew that if he didn’t have Ushijima that last year, he wouldn’t have made it out. 

Daichi finished his vows, and Hinata turned back just in time to watch the officiant declare Daichi and Suga married. The room erupted with cheers and applause; Hinata felt the sting of tears in his eyes, but didn’t bother to wipe it away. He was too happy to care.

Hinata followed the rest of the groomsmen into the reception hall, finally dismissed from the photographer and their duties. He looked around the crowded room and finally found Ushijima. He was sitting with Kenma, looking a little nervous. Despite having spent more time with Hinata’s friends, Ushijima still seemed a little terrified of them – especially Kenma. And it seemed like Kenma enjoyed that a little too much.

He made a b-line for Ushijima, hugging his shoulders as soon as he reached him. “Hi!” He leaned down and kissed Ushijima’s cheek. Ushijima visibly relaxed, no doubt feeling better with Hinata around. “How are you guys doing? Kenma, are you being nice?”

Kenma scoffed quietly, “of course I am.”

Hinata looked at Ushijima questioningly and his boyfriend nodded. 

“Kozume was telling me about a new game he’s going to try out next month.” Ushijima explained, “I thought you might like it.”

“Yeah?” Hinata sat down in the empty seat between them, eager to hear more. Kenma immediately lit up, excitedly sharing the details and already planning a stream with Hinata as a guest.

As the night went on, they watched as Suga and Daichi danced together for the first time as a married couple; as Daichi carefully fed Suga a piece of their wedding cake only for Suga to start giggling and end up smearing a bit of frosting on his nose. Daichi kissed it from his face, licking his lips as the frosting started to make a mess of them both. They ate, drank and danced. When a particularly cheesy love song began playing, Ushijima took Hinata’s hand and led him out to the dance floor without a moment’s hesitation. Hinata followed Ushijima’s steps, settling in Ushijima’s arms and letting his boyfriend lead. 

The reception continued, getting louder and rowdier as the formalities ended and Suga and Daichi’s older relatives took off for the night. And soon enough the real party had begun. 

Loud beats thrummed through the room, shaking the floor beneath his feet, making him move faster and faster. The dance floor was crowded, sweaty bodies swaying to the music, laughing and yelling, so their conversations could be heard over the bass. It reminded Hinata of that night at the club, only this time the large hands on his waist were welcome. Hinata swung his hips and leaned back to press himself against Ushijima, feeling those large hands grip his waist. His head tilted back against Ushijima’s chest, a smile firmly on his lips. His eyes drifted around the room, spotting Daichi and Suga pressed up against each other while screaming the lyrics to the song. Across the room, Yamaguchi had Kenma pinned to the wall, their lips locked and Kenma’s hands buried in Yamaguchi’s hair. Hinata imagined that they wouldn’t be sticking around for much longer. 

“Hey Toshi,” he looked up and paused. 

Ushijima’s cheeks were red, his forehead beaded with sweat. Ushijima smiled, but even that couldn’t hide how tired he looked.

“Need some air?” 

Ushijima nodded as he loosened his tie a bit more. Hinata grabbed his hand and led him out onto the balcony. Strings of lights hung around them, illuminating the night in a warm glow. It was absolutely stunning. All the work Suga had put into the wedding paid off with every little perfect detail. 

Ushijima plopped down on one of the stone benches and Hinata joined him, both trying to catch their breath. 

“You know, we can leave if you’re tired,” Hinata offered, but Ushijima only shook his head.

“You’re having fun. I don’t mind staying.” 

Hinata’s smile softened at the expected reply. “Alright. Besides, I’m sure Suga would be bummed if we left early.” 

“It’s one in the morning. It’s hardly early .” Ushijima huffed, and dropped his head onto Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata reached up and slowly carded his fingers through Ushijima’s short hair. 

“Wanna take a nap on my lap?” He patted his thighs lightly and he apparently didn’t need to convince Ushijima. The man lowered himself down onto his lap, letting his legs stretch out along the bench. Hinata looked over and bit back a laugh. A good bit of Ushijima’s legs dangled off of the bench, but he didn’t seem to mind it as he closed his eyes and settled in. 

“Wake me up in a few minutes.” He instructed quietly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Hinata chuckled. “Sleep tight.” 

It didn’t take long for Ushijima’s breathing to deepen and Hinata knew he had fallen asleep. The poor guy had been running around with Suga for the last week trying to finalize everything for the wedding. Hinata was planning to let Ushijima sleep for more than a few minutes, it was only fair. 

Hinata leaned back, his eyes drifting to the night sky above them, hardly believing that this, right then, was real; that he was in such a beautiful place, with such incredible people who loved him and who he loved. Two years ago, he was stuck in a terrible situation with no hope of escaping, he had nearly died trying to. He woke up every day terrified, went to bed terrified. He was alone, torn away from his family and friends. 

Hinata looked down at Ushijima’s peaceful sleeping expression. It was still so strange to think that the two men he met randomly on a street corner in the dead of winter had saved him. They were strangers, but they took him in and loved him with all they had. They gave him so many opportunities to find himself, to grow and heal and become whatever he wanted to be. They freed him. 

Hinata smiled to himself. His life was his again, and nothing was going to stand in his way.