Chapter 1: The Lighthouse
Chapter Text
Stede Bonnet wasn’t sure he’d brought the right sort of hammer. He was like most people in that he had thought, before today, that hammers were not the sort of thing that had a ‘right sort’. Before today, he had thought that hammers were all rather interchangeable really and any one you picked up would do as well as any other.
But that did not seem to be the case.
Stede looked at the stubborn nail, its sharp end barely sticking into the plaster of the wall, a little bend in its middle.
He was hitting it hard enough he was certain, his brow wet with exertion and his wrist sore from the repeated shock of metal striking metal. There was a little box on a rickety old table by his side, filled with the rest of the nails he would need to place the sheet of drywall to the wooden wall frame. In the middle of the quite dusty room sat a little box of assorted tools, though it contained no other hammers.
Perhaps it wasn't the hammer but the nails that were the issue.
Stede sighed and set the hammer down on the weathered table top. He’d found it when he’d arrived, drowning in a plastic sheet on the circular ground floor common room of the lighthouse. It was a bit stained and one of the legs didn’t seem firmly connected to the rest, but he was quite taken with its rustic charm. After a bit of polish and repair, he thought it would be just the thing to eat breakfast on on a quiet morning.
Turning slowly, Stede looked over the second floor space he was currently standing in. It was a round room, like the one beneath it, the floor bare of furniture, the walls bare orange brick.
Stede grinned. Once he had built this wall around the little toilet and sink, he’d be able to start on the rest.
And oh was he excited to start on the rest. He had bookshelves ordered and a moderately sized bed was on the way as well. He’d finally decided that a little nook for the bed would be best. Snug walls at either end with a curtain to draw around to keep the space warm and close as enclosing arms. Then he could put little drawers beneath it to store whatever he so chose.
It was all perhaps a bit above his experience level, all this custom work. But he’d read up on renovation and brought a fair number of relevant books and tools along with him.
Between those and a can-do attitude, he supposed he’d get on splendid. He’d never had the chance to build something all his own before. It was all rather exciting.
And time consuming. Since his arrival at the beginning of the week, he’d been so busy clearing moldering bits of this and that, as well as sweeping all the dust and cobwebs that he’d had very little chance to think about what he left behind.
There were moments, like this one, when it crept in, a confusing jumble of pain, guilt and joy.
Stede was a terrible person, he knew. A man should not feel joy at abandoning his family.
But he did. And it sat in his chest, tugging like a kite trying to fly away.
His thoughts were interrupted by a soft sound. He looked up. Was it coming from the equipment room?
When purchasing the lighthouse, he’d expected to deal with some vermin. Roaches, mice, perhaps even rats. But up until now he hadn’t seen any sign of any of them.
Well, if they’d finally shown themselves, he needed to take a trip into town anyway.
Stede climbed the round little metal stairs until he could poke his head up to see over the floor of the equipment room. It was dusty and dimly lit, the lights off and the light from the overcast day barely reaching through the dusty windows.
He listened for a moment. The room was silent.
He took a few more quiet steps up into the room
Then nearly fell to his death at a sudden, thunderous boom.
Grasping at the railing of the stairs, he barely kept his footing. His breath was loud in the sudden quiet that followed.
“Gosh,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest. He could feel his heart beating against his ribs through his palm.
What had that been?
He rose up into the room and looked up. The ceiling of the room was the roof of the lighthouse, the metal stairs winding up into the dark space until they reached the…
The door to the lantern deck.
Suddenly, Stede knew what that sound had been. He'd heard it before after all. The door was a heavy wooden beast of a thing that tended to slam shut if left to its own devices.
But the puzzling thing was why it would have opened at all. Had he left it open? No, he was certain he hadn’t. In fact, he was also certain he had latched it.
Which meant that someone must have been up here to unlatch it. Which explained the rustling sound that had drawn him up here quite nicely.
Well, this was turning into quite a little mystery.
Stede wondered who his visitor might be as he ascended the stairs. A spy seeking shelter from a dastardly villain? A wayward youth searching for a moment alone with the sea? A vagrant looking for a warm place to spend the night? A person down on their luck looking to rob him?
Such possibilities!
Stede’s heart was beating with something only a little like fear as he reached to door.
But when he turned the old, creaking handle of the door, the platform beyond was empty. Completely empty.
Stede stood there a while, looking out at the choppy grey sea and tried not to feel disappointed.
_____ ~*~_____
“Hello there!” Stede said, hauling his basket of purchases up to the front counter. The man with the rather kind looking face gave him an unimpressed look. Then his eyes widened.
“Oh shit,” the man said, then turned his head, “Jim!”
A small person in a long coat poked their head from amongst the shelves.
“Oh,” Stede said, “Um, hello! My name is Stede Bonnet.”
“I’m Oluwande,” Oluwande said, eyes still quite wide, “This is Jim.”
“Well, its wonderful to meet the both of you.”
“You the one living in the lighthouse?” Oluwande asked.
“Why yes I am. It’s a fine place in a fine town by my reckoning.”
Oluwande and Jim shared a look.
Stede felt a bit uncertain.
“Is everything alright?”
Oluwande nodded, “Oh yeah, everything is great.”
Stede did not miss the way Jim had begun to shake their head before mimicking Oluwande. But after a moment of watching the two of them shake their heads for entirely too long, he chose to chock it up to a local peculiarity. It wouldn’t do to pry too deeply into people’s private affairs. Especially at a first meeting.
“Well, in that case,” Stede said, leaning an elbow on the counter, “Do you know of a local carpenter who might be interested in a commission?”
_____ ~*~_____
Stede did not get back from his errands in town until the sun was well set below the horizon, only the faintest glow of blue and purple left of what had been a truly glorious sunset. Now the moon was rising, nearly full and pouring silver over the wet grass and rocks beside the road. Stede had rolled the window of the truck down to feel the ocean wind sweep smooth over his skin, a shivery brightness perhaps like happiness in his chest.
But then, like a returning wave, the guilt swept in behind it.
Happy. What right had he to be happy.
He sighed and gripped the wheel of the truck a bit tighter.
At the lighthouse, he brought the few bag of things he’d bought into the main room. Then carried the little stack of two by fours into the shed to the side of the house.
Then it was time to make a spot of dinner.
He was chopping the fresh lettuce and carrots into a brightly colored salad when he felt a strange shivery feeling on the back of his neck.
Setting the knife down, he turned, for some reason half expecting someone to be there. But the room was empty of anyone. Just a few tall stacks of boxes against one wall and an old chair.
Stede sniffed a laugh at himself. Less than a week and he was already going strange. Perhaps he was more suited to this role than he’d previously thought.
He turned back to happily chop at his salad, missing the soft glint of something beyond the dark opening for the stairs in the ceiling. Something watching from the room above.
_____ ~*~_____
Stede rather thought he had figured out the hammer situation. The moulding in the common room was going up quite nicely. It would look just lovely when he added the wallpaper to the walls he’d built for the bathroom and mud room. Really pull the space together. Then it would be time to get the carpets put in. Then, finally, furniture.
Oh he was so excited for it all!
So excited that on the next swing of the hammer, it came down firmly on his thumb.
“Ouch!” he cried, reeling back.
The whole ladder he was currently perched on wobbled startlingly and he reached out with his throbbing hand to better steady himself.
Once the ladder’s trembling had settled and he avoided toppling to the ground, he pulled in a breath and looked at his thumb.
The edge of the nail was bleeding a bit, a thin line of bright crimson. He’d best put a bandage on it before it began to drip everywhere.
He grasped the ladder and looked down to begin descending. Then he stopped, frowning.
The boxes along the wall, mostly containing books and some knickknacks for when the bookshelves came in, were all open. Their flaps were splayed wide, the contents exposed.
Stede climbed down the ladder and moved closer to inspect them. The contents of the boxes appeared…disturbed. As if someone had gone looking for something.
He did not think this sort of thing was from shifting during the move. He’d been quite particular about tucking everything away carefully into each box. Wrapped in paper and clothe where appropriate to avoid that very thing.
As they were now, most of the boxes wouldn’t even be able to close, they were so disordered.
“What on earth…” Stede murmured, staring at the boxes.
Then he noticed one of the boxes was mostly empty. He thought for a moment and then his frown deepened. That box had contained very little. A few framed pictures, which were present. But the object that had taken most of the room in the box was missing.
Puzzled, Stede looked around the room again.
He found the object in the bedroom, sitting on his pillow. A ship, delicate and enchantingly sailing a stormy resin sea within a clear crystal bottle.
Stede stared at it for a long moment from across the room.
Then he grinned.
A haunted lighthouse! What fun!
He wondered where it had come from. Was it an old person. A child? Had it died of loneliness? Violence? What did it look like? If it looked like anything at all.
Oh but he hadn’t even introduced himself!
He hurried up the stairs, turning around once to release some of the excitement zinging through him.
Then he held still and cleared his throat.
“Hello,” he said, “Spirit from the beyond. I am Stede Bonnet. Please to make your acquaintance.”
He gave a little bow.
“If you are a peaceful spirit I think we will get on quite well. Please let me know if there is anything you’d like changed. I’m renovating the space for a little bit of color but the final goal is… well, coziness.”
He grinned into the silence, refusing to be embarrassed for talking to the empty air. It was just him here to see anyway. Well, himself and the ghost, of course. If it was here at all.
He glanced at the ship in a bottle on his bed.
No, he certainly wasn’t alone in the old lighthouse.
_____ ~*~_____
Really, he and the ghost got along quite well all things considered. Sometimes things moved about and he had quite a time looking for them. His best silk robe, bright red and floral print, appeared in the strangest places. He heard strange noises at all hours that he didn’t always investigate. Doors opened and closed. Furniture moved. The contents of the tool shed were rearranged into configurations that defied reason.
On Stede’s third week at the lighthouse, the bookshelves arrived. He was in town for groceries when the carpenter, a Mr. French, flagged him down to inform him of their arrival. It was all very exciting and by the end of the next day, they had them all installed in the main room and the bedroom.
Even with the shelves still empty, their presence really made the space feel, perhaps, like a real home.
Then Stede was left alone to the delightful chore of placing his books, bookends and knickknacks on the shelves.
He got, perhaps, a bit carried away.
It was late into that night, a storm pounding at the windows outside and the lantern left to shine happily away above, that Stede found himself atop the ladder, placing a potted pothos atop the center bookshelf in his room. It was a large, stately specimen, with long branches he could drape over the entirety of the shelf tops. Perhaps he could even get them to dangle down the sides someday. Wouldn’t that look lovely.
He had just gotten the pothos arranged to his liking and was admiring it when a vicious crack of lightning rent the air around the lighthouse, glaring into the window with and almost immediate explosion of thunder.
Stede tried to center himself. But it was too late. He and the ladder toppled.
He reached out a feeble hand to stop his fall.
But it was so very far to the ground.
_____ ~*~_____
Chapter 2: The Visitor
Chapter Text
Stede kicked against the heavy grip of clinging hands into the land of the living. Pain blossoming quick and sharp as an axe between his eyes. He heard his grunt at the force of it. Pealed back one eye to a blurry world.
Am I under water, Stede thought blearily. Then a dark shadow shifted in his vision and his heart began to pound.
“Hey there, that was a close one,” a deep, smooth voice said.
Somehow the fact that there was another person near was the opposite of calming and Stede’s eyes shot fully open, his arms flying out as a defense. Against what, he wasn’t sure. They’d never saved him before.
“Whoa,” that voice said again, accented, “Easy. You’ve got to take it easy.”
Then Stede blinked. And saw two of the largest black eyes he’d ever seen. And hair. A lot of hair. Suspended around those eyes like a thundercloud around the sparkling void of space beyond.
“I…” Stede tried, words he’d been speaking his entire life suddenly mere wisps of smoke at the edge of his thoughts.
“You’re alright,” the person said, “Easy.”
Then the person smiled, all of it in the eyes and a minute shifting of that mass of hair. They smiled. And it was devastating.
“Oh,” Stede managed to say.
“Why don’t you put that back.”
A warm hand was suddenly at his wrist and his elbow, fingertips barely touching him like he was made of glass. And he suddenly realized that arm was throbbing fiercely. As if he’d lain it down on hot coals but also not like that at all.
“Ah,” Stede said baring his teeth as he carefully lowered his arm to the covers. He might have whimpered a bit when it touched the blankets of his bed again, but with this handsome stranger watching so closely, he could not bare to dwell on it for even a second.
“I think its broken,” Stede said.
Eyebrows rose to a salt and pepper hairline, “Oh yeah, I’d say so. Snapped like a broken. Just,” the stranger made a remarkably accurate snapping sound with his mouth, “and that was it. You don’t seem very good at falling off of stuff. Not a talent of yours I’d say.”
“No,” Stede huffed what might have been the beginning of a laugh, “Definitely not. I’m remembering now. I fell from the-“
“From that thing, yeah.”
“-from the ladder,” Stede said, frowning.
The man turned and looked at the ladder. Then, strangely, he stood to look at it more closely.
Which gave Stede the perfect opportunity to study him more closely.
He was tall. Very tall. And rather on the thin side, making the effect of the tallness even more exaggerated, Stede suspected.
That hair went almost to the middle of his back, a long, wavy mass of silver and black.
Then he noticed the clothes and almost swallowed his tongue.
The man was wearing leather. Head to toe leather. Leather boots. Leather pants. Leather belt. Leather shirt. Without sleeves.
And there were tattoos. All over those dark arms.
“A ladder,” the man said, pushing a hand over the wood of the thing. Which was rather strange but Stede had more important things to worry about.
“How…how did you find me?”
“Was down in the kitchen. Heard you fall,” the man said, grasping the ladder with both hands and lifting it. Didn’t seem to have much trouble doing so either. Stede caught himself watching the play of muscle in those arms.
“You were in the kitchen? Taking refuge from the storm?” Stede asked. He had no issue with it. In fact, he was a bit glad of it. What was the point of lighthouses if not for interesting strangers to seek refuge in them.
And this was certainly a person who fit that description.
Stede startled with a wince when the man suddenly dropped the ladder. It wobbled a bit but didn’t topple.
“Yeah, that was it,” the man said, turning back to him with unblinking attention, “Taking refuge.”
“Well,” Stede said, “I’m thankful you chose my humble lighthouse as your safe harbor. The name’s Stede Bonnet. A pleasure to meet you. I’d shake your hand, but well…”
He laughed a bit.
The stranger finally blinked, slow and obviously confused, but by what, Stede could not guess.
“Might I know the name of my rescuer?” Stede coaxed.
“Who me?” said rescuer answered, attention suddenly grabbed by something on one of the bookshelves. A rather elegant wood carving of a mythical sea beast, tentacles caught in a motionless mass of twisting curls.
“Well yes,” Stede replied, “Unless there is someone else who carried my senseless body to my bed.”
The stranger was staring at the carving, turning it over in his hands, “No that was me. I carried you and all that. That’s where you sleep. In the bed.”
“Well yes,” Stede said, not sure why his cheeks were hot at that.
“I like your things,” the stranger said, waving a hand at the bookshelves and their contents.
Stede felt a smile tease at him, “Ah, you like a shiny bauble?”
Those finger’s caressed the curves of the statue, turning it in the light, “I do.”
“Ah, well. I have a few other things I haven’t unpacked yet that I’d be glad to show you,” he lifted the blanket to get out of bed.
Or tried to. But he reached with his broken arm and pain caught his breath, black spots sweeping in fast from the corners of his vision.
Suddenly the stranger was there, looming over him, those dark eyes like anchors in the path of a storm.
“Ed,” the stranger said, voice calm with no hint of teasing or cruelty, though Stede knew that didn’t mean it wasn’t there, “Call me Ed.”
Stede smiled as the darkness swallowed him.
Good to meet you, Ed.
_____ ~*~_____
Everyone was shouting when Stede woke again.
He opened his eyes and looked around. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t in his bed anymore. Though he was in a bed. It just wasn’t nearly as comfortable or large.
Before he could take in much more than that his eye was snagged the dark figure pacing at the foot of the bed.
“Ed?”
Ed stopped like he’d been caught in a riptide, long legs pinging him to the bedside in one step.
“Hello,” Ed said, voice calm and friendly enough, “Did you sleep well?”
“I did in fact,” Stede said, eying the door of what he was now realizing was a hospital room, “Hey, Ed?”
“Hm?” Ed replied, adjusting Stede’s blankets.
“Why is the door locked?”
“Oh, I locked it.”
“Oh…” Stede replied, listening to the pounding of fists and the rattling of the doorknob, the voices calling to be let in beyond it, “Why?”
“Because I didn’t want those people in here,” Ed’s voice was getting darker now, anger staining his voice like oncoming night.
“Did something happen?”
“He said he was going to cut off your fucking arm,” Ed hissed.
A muffled voice came through the door, “I was joking! Mostly.”
Someone else started angrily whispering at the first voice.
“Alright,” the first voice said reluctantly, “I was definitely joking. This time.”
Ed turned toward the voice, then made a deep rumbling noise as he stalked toward the door, fingers curling like powerful claws.
“Ed!” Stede called, “They aren’t coming in here right now, since the door is locked-“
“It’s broken. The bastard broke it!”
“- maybe we can take a moment to talk about it?”
Ed tilted his head a bit, not turning away from the door, but clearly listening.
“Fine,” he finally said.
Stede smiled, “Thank you for protecting me, by the way. I really appreciate it. How did we get here anyway?”
“He carried you in,” someone on the other side of the door said.
Stede’s brows rose high, “All the way from the lighthouse?”
“Yeah,” the voice said.
Wow, Stede thought, that black leather must be even more slimming than he’d originally assumed.
“Wow,” Stede said, “You must lead a very physically active lifestyle. That’s impressive!”
Ed half turned toward him at that, exposing Stede to a devastatingly mischievous smile, “I do actually.”
“Oh? What sort of activities do you enjoy?”
“…Swimming.”
“Ah! How lovely. You know I know of a cove not far from here with a beautiful beach. Perhaps we could go there sometime.”
“Sure,” Ed said, “That sounds cool.”
“Um? Guys?” the voice behind the door said.
Stede started, he’d completely forgotten why they were here, “Right. Ed, would you be so kind as to keep an eye out while the doctor sees to my arm?”
Ed growled.
“My arm really does hurt and the sooner my arm gets wrapped up, the sooner we can go to the beach.”
“…Fine. I guess. If he tries to cut off your arm, I can just eat him.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I said, I can just beat him. Like humans do.”
“Please don’t injure the doctor. I’m sure it was just a bit of physician’s humor.”
“…Fine.”
When Ed finally opened the door, with a loud crunch, the doctor crept in like he was entering the den of some monstrous creature. Not exactly afraid, mind. Stede would learn over the years that Doctor Roach’s threshold for fear was a lot higher than most. But he was certainly wary, giving Ed a cautious eye as he sidled into the room.
But Ed did not beat him and Stede rather felt he’d made a new friend in Dr. Roach by the end of the appointment.
_____ ~*~_____
“Well, here we are again,” Stede said as they entered the lighthouse, spreading his one good arm out, “Home sweet home.”
When he looked back at Ed, the man had one of his arms out in mimic of Stede, smile firmly in place in those eyes. Stede smiled back and dropped his arm, Ed’s smoothly following suit.
“Let’s get settled in, shall we?” Stede said, hurrying into the house. While he’d made quite a bit of progress, there was still a bit of mess in the corners and the floor needed swept. A few dishes were in the sink as well.
It would be tricky to tidy up with this arm.
Ah, well. He'll surely manage.
“Are you hungry, Ed? What sort of food do you like?” Stede said, heading for the kettle to make tea.
Ed followed behind him, boots clicking smartly on the wooden floor, “Oh you know, human food…”
Stede laughed, “A man easily pleased. Very well, I’ll put something together.”
Ed didn’t say anything against that and Stede pulled out a bit of chicken he’d cooked the day before. He could probably manage a way to cut it and put it with the salad. He was really craving the stuffed peppers he’d bought ingredients for the last time he was in town.
But he was far too tired at the moment.
Tea, then salad, then a bit of a rest sounded like just the thing he needed.
He was in the middle of chopping the chicken into strips when the kettle began to whine.
Then there was a sudden crash and Stede spun around to find one of his wooden table chairs clattering on the floor and Ed standing beside it as if he were about to lunge into battle. He was even growling a little.
“What is that,” Ed said, voice strangely deep in his chest and rumbling.
“Just the kettle,” Stede assured, holding out his hand. The one holding the knife, he belatedly noticed. But Ed didn’t seem to care about the potential weapon as he prowled closer until he was looming over the stove.
“A kettle,” he said.
Then he reached out and grabbed it. Not by the handle, but by the spout, hot steam furling around his fingers.
“Oh!” Stede said, lurching toward him. Ed allowed him to pull the kettle away by its handle with no fuss at all. He didn’t seem to be in pain either. And when Stede inspected his hand, he found to burns at all, though the man’s skin did seem a bit warm.
“How strange,” Stede said.
“Strange?” Ed said, fingers curling around Stede’s in a soft grip that sent lightning through Stede’s bones.
“Oh,” Stede heard himself say, a bit caught in those eyes as well as the feather soft grip.
Stede finally closed his own fingers around Ed’s, “I’m glad you are alright.”
“You’re alright too,” Ed said, “ From the fall. Didn’t crack your head like an egg or anything. Quite a nice day it’s been.”
Stede blinked and then snorted a laugh. Ed joined him in it. Ed’s laugh was a smooth, fascinating thing, deep and masculine and lovely. Then it shifted
That was the moment Stede learned Ed was a giggler. Which was equally lovely.
_____ ~*~_____
“What are you doing there?” Ed asked, leaning over Stede’s shoulder with ease due to his height.
“Making tea. Almost done.”
Ed waited quietly as Stede finished with the tea. Then he took the tray, with Stede’s second best set arranged on it, and followed Stede to the table. Once they were both settled at the table, Stede pulled in a breath and let it out, amazed at how relaxed he felt. He hadn’t been this comfortable around another person since… ever.
Looking up he found those dark eyes watching him again. But it didn’t on edge like it would with another person.
Curious.
He gave the other man a smile and then set about making himself tea.
Ed watched him for a moment then reached for the sugar bowl. Stede looked up when he heard a soft crunch.
To find Ed chewing thoughtfully, another sugar cube pinched delicately between his fingers.
After a moment, Ed simply said, “Hm,” and began dropping sugar into his tea.
After four, Stede decided to stop counting.
“I like your nest,” Ed said.
“My what?”
Ed waved a hand in a way Stede took to mean the lighthouse, “It full of interesting things and you made the walls over there colorful.”
Stede glanced at the walls he’d built around the little ground floor bathroom, recently bedecked in a floral wallpaper in blueish green and gold that went so nicely with the rusty orange of the lighthouse’s brick walls.
“Why thank you,” Stede said, leaning back in his chair to admire the room, “Though it’s not finished yet.”
An idea occurred to him as he took in Ed’s curious look.
Stede grinned, ”Wait here.”
Ed nodded and licked one of the little teaspoons experimentally.
He was pouring himself a second cup of tea when Stede set his notebook on the table between them.
“What’s this?” Ed said, immediately reaching for it.
“Those are my sketches. My plans of what this place will look like when the renovations and décor are all in place.”
Ed set the book down in front of himself, eyes wide with wonder. Then he opened it and stared, “This is the bedroom.”
“Yeah,” Stede said, completely unable to rein his massive grin, “I’m going to put a little nook with little curtains there in the west window. Nice place for a little evening reading.”
“It’s got little blankets by it,” Ed said, running his fingers over the drawing with arresting gentleness.
“Oh, those are curtains,” Stede replied, “Good for when you want to feel tucked away from the world. Even more than I already am up here by myself in a lighthouse.”
Ed stared at the pages for a while, turning them like they were made of spun sugar. Then those dark eyes glanced up at Stede before going back to the pages.
Stede felt his smile waver, uncertain what that look had been about. It had certainly been about something.
“You’ve still got a bit of work to do here. Have finish with the,” he pointed at a page, obviously not knowing the word.
“Crown moulding,” Stede said.
“Yeah, the crown mold. What’s it for anyway?”
“Well, its not for anything really accept that it does look quite handsome.”
Ed sat back in his chair, staring at Stede, “You broke your arm for it and it doesn't do anything?”
Stede felt and old, familiar shame begin to flush through him. He did strange things for strange reasons. He knew he did. Sure crown moulding was an odd thing for a lighthouse. Didn’t exactly match the aesthetic, but he’d always had a fondness for it. It really rounded out the room.
Which was silly, he knew. He’d been told plenty of times about that and many other things after all. He couldn’t help but know.
The fact that Ed felt the same wasn’t a surprise but it was-
Ed was smiling at him.
Stede blinked.
“You’re insane,” Ed said, “I like it.”
“You do?”
“Oh yeah.”
Stede’s face was a bit hot. Perhaps he should open a window. He couldn’t be running a fever from a broken arm, could he?
“Well, perhaps you’d be interested in the little secret closet I’ll be putting in behind the main one. Not for anything in particular. Just to have, I suppose. Its a shame it and everything else will have to wait until I’m back in fighting form.”
He lifted his injured arm a bit with a little laugh.
“Why should it?” Ed said, “I could stay and help you out. You could tell me how to do things and I’ll do them.”
“Wouldn’t that be a lovely,” Stede said, laughing again.
Ed’s expression caught his attention like a hook.
“Unless you were-“
“Serious, yeah. I’ve got nowhere to be and I find you and your lighthouse really fucking interesting.”
“Oh,” Stede said, shifting about a bit on his chair, not quite sure what he was feeling. But it felt bright like a morning sun in his chest.
That smile Ed was giving him wasn’t helping matters either. But Stede found he did not want him to stop.
“Very well,” Stede said, extending a hand.
Ed stared at it.
“Would you like to shake on it?” Stede asked.
“Oh right yeah,” Ed said, reaching out a warm hand to curl around Stede’s.
If Stede held his hand for a bit longer than exactly necessary, Ed didn’t seem to notice.
_____ ~*~_____
Chapter 3: Ed
Notes:
Hello! Thank you so much for your comments! these next two chapters were originally supposed to be one chapter, but I got carried away so now you get two!
Edit: Added the poem from this chapter in the end notes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“’Sail on, sail on - through endless space-“ Stede read softly into the murmur of the night, rain pattering gently on the windows, “Through calm -through tempest -stop no more,”
Stede sat in his favorite armchair, pulled up close to the bed where Ed lounged, the bottle ship held up and turning around and around between his fingers as he watched it.
They’d passed the day unpacking some more of the books and talking. Then Stede had found a book about sealife and they’d read a bit of that, Ed’s attention focused and curious about the illustrations. They’d gotten into some silly little hypothetical discussion about how a person might keep a comfortable library on a ship. Which had reminded Stede of this slim little book of poetry.
But as he’d read, Ed had picked up the bottled ship from the shelf and settled on the bed. So easy. So relaxed. As if he belonged here. As if there was nowhere else he wanted to be but here listening to Stede read his poems about the sea.
Stede was still finding it a bit hard to speak the words around the tightness in his throat.
This felt so good. He’d never…never done this before.
“Where never yet false-hearted men profaned a world, that else were sweet-“ Stede finished the poem softly, “Then rest thee, bark, but not till then.”
Feeling a bit like a crystal glass struck and softly ringing, Stede set the book down and took a few soft breaths.
Ed tilted his head to look at him, his mass of curly silver and black hair a storm cloud at rest on Stede’s pillow.
“Those were some good words, mate,” Ed said, “Especially all strung together like that.”
Stede felt his mouth tug up a bit. He pulled in another breath.
And let it out with, “Yeah.”
Ed studied him for a moment and then said, “You have it, don’t you.”
“What?”
“The sea longing.”
“Oh,” Stede swallowed around that tightness again, “Perhaps. I have always loved to read about the sea.”
“Makes sense. These poems are fucking amazing.”
“They really are aren’t they.”
“Why do you live in a lighthouse?” Ed asked, “You could live on a boat, you know. Lots of humans do it.”
Stede laughed, “Maybe I will someday.”
He glanced away from Ed for a second, gathered is courage and said, “You know, what I always wanted to be was a pirate. Like long ago. To captain my own ship and everything.”
Ed sat up a bit at that, propping himself up on one elbow, “You’re fucking with me. That’s brilliant, mate.”
And strangest of all, Stede could sense no mockery in Ed’s expression or tone.
Stede grinned, “Now that I think of it, you seem the sort to make a formidable pirate yourself.”
Ed tossed his head a bit, like a proud horse, “Oh, of course I fucking would. I’d be the most formidable. And the scariest. You’d be running around doing piratey things trying to match my pirateyness.”
“Well,” Stede said, “Perhaps I wouldn’t mind that so terribly. It would be an interesting challenge. Perhaps we’d team up from time to time.”
“Maybe,” Ed said with a shrug, “You’d have to impress me first, of course.”
“Oh of course. Can’t have an alliance of captains without an imposing reputation.”
“That’s fucking right,” Ed said with a stern nod. Then his expression melted back into a smile, and something in Stede melted with it.
“Can you read me another poem?” Ed asked, voice soft.
“Yeah,” Stede said, clearing his throat, “Of course.”
_____ ~*~______
“I hope you like muffuletta,” Stede said, setting down the basket on the blanket.
They’d finished hanging the chandelier in the bedroom that morning and headed to the cove. It was a lovely day, a moderate breeze riffling both of their hair, warm but not too hot, the sky mostly full of clouds but the sun was still shining bright and clear through the spaces between them. The whole effect had the ocean glittering like a blue cape crusted with diamonds.
“What’s that?” Ed asked, standing at the edge of the blanket. He was wearing some of Stede’s clothes, soft linen pants and a flowy white shirt with the buttons mostly undone. Stede had lent him a pair of his pajamas last night and had woken to the bedding on the couch being empty. When he’d finally found Ed in his closet, Ed hadn’t really met his gaze, like he’d been caught at something. Perhaps he’d been stealing. Stede had only met him yesterday after all and knew next to nothing about him.
But he’d ignored any of that to say, “Do you want to pick out an outfit for the day?”
Which apparently Ed had, and what Stede felt about Ed wearing his clothes was the furthest thing from regret. With how many of his chest tattoos the unbuttoned shirt was leaving exposed, Stede found himself taken with them himself in a way entirely different than when he’d been the only one who’d worn them.
“Oh, it's a type of sandwich. I hope you like olives. If not I brought something a bit simpler-“
“I fucking love olives. Tried them out last night. Fantastic as shit.”
Oh, Stede thought, That’s where the other half of the jar went.
“What’s a sandwich,” Ed asked, finally settling onto the blanket.
Stede had to stare for a minute before he could manage to begin explaining to another adult human being the traits and technicalities of a sandwich. But Ed didn’t seem to notice, settling into a languid lounge across the blanket, propped up by one elbow so he could face Stede and the food. Stede carefully kept his eyes away from the bared and tattooed chest left so casually on display and handed Ed a sandwich.
To Stede’s gratification, Ed thoroughly enjoyed the food when they got around to eating.
“What sort of foods do you like, Ed?” Stede asked as he popped open the container of chopped fruit and set it between them.
Stede was curious because he’d found that Ed tended to keep eating until all the food presented was gone. Which was lucky for Stede because he was terrible at remembering to eat leftovers once he’d tucked them away in the fridge. And also meant that Ed could probably do with a little feeding up.
Ed took another bite of his second sandwich and answered Stede as he chewed, “Oh, you know, normal things.”
For a man who did very few things “normally”, like his criteria for choosing new friends, Ed seemed quite consumed by the concept of normal. It came up a lot. Which Stede had no trouble taking in stride. He had also spent a considerable amount of time sussing out what was considered normal to other people.
“Such as?” Stede asked, picking a grape out of the container.
“You know,” Ed said, waving a hand vaguely, “Fish and…olives. Oh and bread. I eat loads of bread. Like humans do.”
“An appreciator of a fine pastry,” Stede said, “I can definitely relate. I don’t have any today. I’m a bit overdue for a trip into town, I’m afraid. Perhaps you would be interested in trying the chocolates I brought.”
“Chocolates?” Ed said, pausing with his sandwich halfway to his mouth, “Are those like bread?”
Stede grinned and was digging into the basket again, pulling out the little box, “Not quite. They’re made from a seed from a tropical tree. Very sweet.”
Then he drew off the lid and Ed’s head tilted curiously. Six little chocolates lay on a bed of golden foil. Stede watched Ed inspect them then watched him carefully pick one up and put it in his mouth. Ed chewed, then his eyes went wide.
“Oh, I’ve had this before!” Ed said, sitting up from his lounging.
“Really?”
“Yeah, bit different without the wood and salt water but-“ Ed’s mouth snapped shut.
“The what?” Stede asked, certain he had not heard correctly.
“I like this much better,” Ed said, “It’s very chocolatey.”
Stede laughed and held out the box again, “Then please, help yourself. Oh, try some of the fruit between pieces. Cleanses the palate and the flavors actually pair very well.”
Ed took a strawberry out of the container and popped it in his mouth. Then his eyes immediately rolled back in his head and he groaned.
“Fuuuck, mate, that’s fucking amazing. You are amazing,” Ed said, finally opening his eyes.
Stede felt suddenly a bit warm as those dark eyes found his, “I’m very glad it pleases you. Looks like we found another thing you enjoy.”
Ed nodded a bit, thoughtfully, eyes never leaving Stede’s face, “I think we have.”
_____ ~*~_____
“Any idea if you’ll be getting any marmalade in stock in the next few weeks?” Stede asked as he emptied his cart onto the counter in front of Oluwande.
“Ah…” Oluwande said, glancing to the side, “Maybe.”
At Ed, Stede realized as he followed the other man’s gaze.
Ed was inspecting the cereal boxes in the aisle a ways away from them.
“How are things going up at the lighthouse?” Oluwande said warily, like he was expecting bad news.
Of course, Stede was about to turn his expectations right on their head, “Things are going great. Ed’s been very helpful. We’ve got most everything unpacked now. Even the throw pillows, which was no mean feat.”
“Right, yeah, that’s…”
They both started at a sudden screeching sound and turned to find Ed had kicked one of the displays, causing it to skid a bit on the floor and Jim to suddenly appear at the end of the aisle, firmly planted between Ed and Oluwande.
“Great,” Oluwande said, “So everything is…normal then?”
Stede frowned, leaning against the counter and watching Ed.
“Not for me,” Stede said, “All of this is quite the adventure for me. And I’m having a great time. Wouldn’t change a thing. The lighthouse is becoming quite cozy. It’s even better with Ed visiting. He’s quite a kind and amazing person. We’re having a lot of fun!”
Oluwande seemed to suddenly have something caught in his throat, but before Stede could turn around to check on him, he caught sight of Ed snapping a hand out into the air and closing it over something. Exactly like someone catching a fly.
Then he put whatever he’d caught in his mouth and crunched down.
“Right,” Oluwande said, “Look, Mr. Bonnet-“
“Please,” Stede said, turning around, “Call me Stede.”
“Sure, just, if anything ever happens, you can call us. You don’t have to go it alone if things get…tense.”
Stede gave Oluwande a confused frown, “Tense?”
Just then the bell over the door jangled merrily and everyone turned toward the sound.
A short man with silver hair was standing in the doorway, backlit by the bright noon sun outside.
A raspy voice broke the silence, “I’ve found you at last.”
Ed had turned fully toward the voice now, stance widening like he expected to be tackled. But when Stede ran a glance over Ed’s expression, he looked like a completely different person. His face stiff and eyes cool and emotionless as stone, completely devoid of the curiosity they’d been full of just a moment ago.
“Hey, Izzy,” Ed said, making no move forward.
Izzy looked over the room for a moment and then said, “What are you doing?”
“Just hanging out, man.”
Stede wasn’t one to interject into a reunion between friends, but Ed’s body language had so many alarms going off in his head his heart was beginning to beat double time. It was time to remind Ed he wasn’t alone with this Izzy.
“Hey,” Stede said, stepping away from the counter, “Izzy was it? Good to meet you. I’m Stede-“
Suddenly an iron clamp closed around his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
No, he realized, looking down, it wasn’t iron at all but Ed’s hand. However, it was impressively unmoving.
“Ed?” Stede asked, trying to get Ed to look at him, “Is everything alright?”
There was a moment of tense silence where Ed and Izzy stared at one another.
Then Ed’s expression seemed to melt a bit though his posture remained the same and he gave Stede a sliver of his usual smile.
“Yeah, mate, everything is fine. Just going to step outside and talk with my good friend Izzy. I’ll be right back.”
Then Izzy left the store, Ed following.
The bell chimed again as the door closed behind them, leaving Stede, Oluwande and Jim in silence.
Oluwande’s eyes were wide, but they had been since Stede and Ed had walked in. What was worrying Stede was Jim. Who didn’t look their usual grouchy self. They looked…afraid.
“Who was that guy?” Stede asked, looking between them.
“One of Ed’s…people,” Oluwande said, “Have only seen him around here one other time.”
Stede straightened, “Is Ed in danger?”
Oluwande’s brows rose high, “No, I figure ‘Ed’ has that situation well handled.”
He seemed to catch a bit of the whirlwind Stede was feeling and his voice got a bit softer, “Don’t worry, Stede. He’ll be fine.”
But Stede felt that things were assuredly not fine. He’d only known Ed a few days but he knew a bit about relationships, the things you sometimes had to become for them. And whatever Ed had become when Izzy had stepped into the room had Stede thinking.
However, he didn’t have much information and Ed had made it quite clear he didn’t want Stede getting involved.
Oluwande didn’t really seem up for talking much as he quickly rang up the rest of Stede’s purchases. Jim had planted themself between the counter and the front door, as if they expected an attack, which had Stede more than ready to check on Ed when the bill had been paid.
But Oluwande called to him before he left, “If you ever need anything…you still have the number I gave you, yeah?”
“I do,” Stede said, attention only partly on the man speaking to him. The street beyond the doors sounded so quiet. It gave him no clues as to what was going on outside.
“Alright,” Oluwande said, and let him go.
But Izzy was nowhere in sight when Stede stepped out of the store. There was just Ed, leaning like a painting against the side of the truck, one leg bent to brace a foot on the tire and everything.
Stede looked him over quickly, and besides a bit of a tightness around his eyes, Ed seemed alright.
Stede gave him a smile anyway as he walked up to him, laden with the grocery bags. Ed gave a reassuring smile of his eyes in return. But silence hung like a cape around Ed’s shoulders, so Stede gave him another few moments while he set the bag down in the bed of the truck.
When he was done he moved to the space beside Ed and leaned back on the cool metal, “Ready to go home?”
Ed didn’t reply. He just turned his head and stared at him for a bit. Like he was thinking hard about something. That Izzy must have had some heavy things to say.
“Everything alright?” Stede asked.
Ed nodded, slowly, “Yeah…” then with more confidence, “Yeah, let’s go home.”
_____ ~*~_____
Ed leaves sometimes. Stede doesn’t ask where he goes. However, he can’t help but wonder.
Honestly he wonders a lot about Ed.
What he’d done before they’d met. When he’d begun wandering. Did he have family. Did he ever regret offering to help Stede? Was there somewhere he’d rather be. Were Stede and his broken arm holding up Ed in the middle of the road to where he wanted to be.
Did he think of Stede when he was gone.
Really, it was all quite silly. But the truth of it was, they’d only known each other for a few weeks at this point but Stede could not recall ever having a better friend than Ed.
The thought that perhaps he was alone in that feeling… well.
But the thought always seemed to evaporate completely when Ed returned, tall and fond and smelling of the sea.
“Caught us some fish,” Ed said when he returned that afternoon.
Then he dropped an honest to goodness yellowfin tuna on the table, the frame of it shuddering at the impact of the large fish. Stede stared. The fish was recently dead and still dripping sea water at its fins. Even though Stede knew there was nowhere one could hope to catch this particular sort of fish for miles.
Or so he’d thought.
Stede stared, “Wow, Ed, I didn’t know you could fish!”
“Oh yeah. Fish all the time. I’m amazing at fishing,” Ed said, “Do you like it?”
“Like it?” Stede said, “Why it’s the easily the handsomest specimen I’ve ever seen. Where did you get the boat? I didn’t think anyone in town had one.”
“Boat?” Ed asked.
“Yeah, to catch this striking behemoth.”
Ed shifted a bit, “Oh you know… around. Hey, I’m famished. Let’s cook this up, yeah? Been waiting all day to see what you’ll do with it.”
Stede grinned, “Oh I have a few ideas that might peak your interest.”
At that Ed started herding him toward the kitchen, “That’s good because we can have nothing less than a feast. Between the two of us, we’ll put all other human food to shame.”
Stede made a mock thoughtful noise, “I’m not sure I have the ingredients to rival all of humanity’s culinary achievements.”
“You have olives, don’t you?”
Stede laughed and opened the refrigerator, “With you living here?”
“Fair.”
Stede pulled out the yeast starter and set it on the counter. They’d need some rolls to go with whatever they settled on.
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to fish,” Stede said.
“It’s easy. I’ll teach you,” Ed said immediately.
When Stede turned to him excitedly, Ed had an odd look on his face, like he’d just realized something.
“Would you really? If it's any trouble…” Stede checked.
Ed blinked once, twice, then seemed to make up his mind. His posture eased until he was leaning a hip against the counter.
“Oh yeah sure, no problem. I’ve a fucking ton of experience. Loads. Lots to teach you. If you think you're up for it.”
Stede tucked his smile away to match Ed’s playful nonchalance. Stede felt like he was glowing. Which seemed to be quite common these days. The way Ed joked but never once made Stede feel as if he was being laughed at. It was such a strange, beautiful feeling.
Like Stede had gone without sunlight his entire life and was just learning what warmth really felt like. He’d caught bits of it in books and music. But this. This.
It was like holding out a hand and having it grasped eagerly rather than slapped away.
“Oh I think I might have a few things to show you in return,” Stede said, leaning over Ed for the sugar container. Ed didn’t move much at all, just let Stede lean on him and put a hand on his shoulder for leverage. Stede found he didn’t mind at all, “I’ve read a bit about the sea and its fauna, you know.”
“That’s good. We’ve been looking for a man like you on the crew.”
Stede knew this was a hypothetical crew. Ed had already told him he was a wanderer, without property or ties. But Ed was fond of hypotheticals as much as Stede was.
“Oh yeah?” Stede filled a mixing bowl with a bit of warm water from the sink.
“Sure, every crew needs someone who knows…”
“Fauna,” Stede said, rather suspecting his face had some sort of silly fond expression on it, but completely powerless to do anything about it, “Who else is on the crew?”
“Just me, mate.”
“Ahhhh,” Stede said, “And you want me on your crew?”
Ed straightened, frowning seriously, “Of course! Why wouldn’t I. You’re great. And super cool.”
Stede wiggled his shoulders a bit, blushing, “Well, in that case, I would be honored.”
Ed gave Stede one of those smiles that made him feel like a little pot of melted chocolate.
“So would I,” Ed said.
_____ ~*~ _____
Notes:
Adding the poem here for you guys because its relevant:
Sail on, sail on, thou fearless bark --
Where'er blows the welcome wind,
It cannot lead to scenes more dark,
More sad than those we leave behind.
Each wave that passes seems to say,
"Though death beneath our smile may be,
Less cold we are, less false than they,
Whose smiling wreck'd thy hopes and thee."Sail on, sail on -- through endless space --
Through calm -- through tempest -- stop no more:
The stormiest sea's a resting-place
To him who leaves such hearts on shore.
Or -- if some desert land we meet,
Where never yet false-hearted men
Profaned a world, that else were sweet --
Then rest thee, bark, but not till then.Thomas Moore
Chapter Text
Ed was fond of ballads. He liked all sorts of music, but ballads always had him sitting down. Like he’d read news of the death of a loved one. The sadder the lyrics the more he disappeared into his head.
“They used to sing songs like this,” he said once while listening to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”.
“Who?” Stede asked.
“The pirates.”
“The pirates?”
“Yeah,” he said softly, staring at the floor between his bare feet, “Sure, they sang those pirate shanties you showed me but… when humans sail the seas they often sing like this. All through time, all over the world, they sing like this when the sea is calm. And the moon is bright. That’s important. The moon.”
Stede stared, caught in the spell of Ed.
“They talk about sirens and mermaids and whatever,” Ed went on, “Creatures that sing like heartache and longing and lure you to your death but… humans are the real sirens you know? They sound so…so sad sometimes but if you go too close, they always have a spear in their hands. Always.”
Stede ached for Ed, for the pain that had drifted so close to the surface of those captivating eyes. He couldn’t imagine who could possibly have the heart to hurt this sweet, gentle man. But it was obvious someone had.
Stede was so glad they had found each other.
“I don’t,” Stede said.
Ed blinked, like what Stede said confused him.
“I have a lot of books. And they’re a bit like swords, I suppose. Mightier, I know that much. But,” he spread his hands, “Not a single spear.”
Ed didn’t say anything to that, just caught Stede’s hand in his and squeezed it, a thank you in the smile lines at the corner of his eyes.
Stede, squeezed his hand back then said, “Would you like to listen to some rock music?”
Ed frowned, there in his head to toe leather outfit, “You people have music about rocks?”
_____ ~*~_____
The sea lapped at the edges of the boat, jostling Stede where he stood by the railing, letting the wind run like cool fingers through his hair. The sky was a crisp teal with heavy-bellied clouds of white cotton hanging regularly throughout.
“A magnificent day,” Stede said, looking to Ed beside him.
Ed was looking at him, and started when he noticed Stede looking back, “Yeah, its nice. Like sleeping.”
Stede blinked.
Ed shrugged immediately, eyes dropping, “Or whatever.”
“You’re exactly right." Stede said, "It feels like resting doesn’t it.”
“Yeah,” Ed nodded, eyes lifting to Stede’s again, “Like when you wake up and aren’t hungry or sore or need to piss.”
“You can just lie there,” Stede said.
“Yeah,” Ed said quietly.
A particularly aggressive wave shuddered the ship.
“Woah!” Stede said, flailing for the railing he could have sworn he’d been holding firmly enough.
Ed’s strong hand found the small of his back and held him in place until he had ahold of it again.
“Ah,” Stede said, laughing, “Thank you. Would be a shame to fall in.”
“Well, you’re going to have to eventually,” Ed said with a shrug.
“What do you mean?”
Ed frowned, “To go fishing.”
“What?”
“Here, its easy. I’ll show you.”
Then Ed dove into the water. Executed a perfect swan dive into the blue sea. For a moment, Stede could see him, a dark streak in the water. Then he swam a bit deeper. And was gone.
“Um…” Stede said, quite puzzled.
And he was still puzzled when a fish flew out of the water on the opposite side of the boat, landed on the deck, and slid across to stop by Stede's shoes. He stared at it as it lay there flopping and gasping.
Then Ed was pulling himself onto the deck, shooting Stede a wink on the way.
“Did you…” Stede said, pointing at the fish.
Ed stood dripping on the deck and put his hands on his hips, “You just gotta scare them a bit and they just jump up here.”
“Wow,” Stede said, grinning. Ed really was wondrous, “I don’t think I can do that.”
“Alright,” Ed said, shrugging, “I can do that. But you should swim a bit. Water’s great.”
Stede gave a thoughtful wobble of his head, peering over the railing, “You know I just might.”
He slipped out of his jacket.
“Might want to take the shirt off too,” Ed said, suddenly quick to pull the hem of his own shirt out of his pants, “More…”
“Hydrodynamic?” Stede offered, pulling his shirt off as prompted.
“What’s that?”
“Things that have very little drag in water,” Stede said, slipping his shoes off and setting them next to his shirt.
“Well then yeah, that’s the right word.”
“Alright, I’m all ready,” Stede said.
“Don’t worry about sharks or whatever. There aren’t any right here,” Ed said with a convincing amount of confidence.
“That’s a shame,” Stede said, “Might be fun to see a real shark in real life.”
Then he jumped in with a loud slash, completely missing the wide-eyed look Ed was giving him.
Stede surfaced laughing, “That is a LOT colder than I anticipated!”
Ed laughed and dove in beside him, coming up with a vigorous whip of his hair. They giggled together, enjoying the vigor of the chill water on their skin and the swaying of the ocean.
Stede took in the water dripping from Ed’s beard, the lines of his neck running into his bare shoulders. The bit of tattoos he could see.
Then he realized Ed was looking back at him, seemed to be studying him in kind.
Then Stede grinning wide and splashed him full in the face.
Ed barely sputtered, just blinked in shock.
“Oh, haha, I’m sorry Ed,” Stede said, failing to hold back any laughter, “I just thought-“
But then Ed growled and…
…sank beneath the water.
“Oh no,” Stede said, realizing Ed was now nowhere in sight. He turned a bit in the water, trying to spot him.
Then something curled around his ankle and pulled him beneath the water like a riptide.
He was immediately submerged in a dark, chill world of bubbles and streaming light.
Then the grip on his ankle released and the bubbles cleared. And he couldn’t see Ed. He looked down and thought he saw movement, deep in the dark below. A long, sinuous movement.
Then it was gone and Stede swam to the surface.
Ed appeared behind him shortly after with mischief in his eyes and a bright green shell in his hands.
“Got you something,” he said.
Stede stared at the shell, then at Ed, “What is that? I’ve never seen anything like it!”
It was large, larger than Ed’s hands holding them up. It looked a bit like a conch but smooth as polished marble and curved like a half moon.
“It’s a shell,” Ed said excitedly.
“It’s beautiful,” Stede said.
“Yeah,” Ed said, freeing one hand to stroke his fingers along its smooth surface.
“May I touch it?” Stede asked.
“Of course, mate,” Ed said, holding it out for him.
Stede ran his fingers along it. It had a shimmer to it that did beautiful things with the sunlight.
“Where did you get it?”
“Oh,” Ed said with a scoff, “One of my whale buddies thought it was pretty so I let her carry it. She was passing by, so I asked if I could show it to you. She said you can have it. Thought you’d like it.”
Stede’s mouth worked. Ed’s world really was a beautiful place. And he made Stede’s world so much better for being in it.
“I absolutely do, Ed. And please be sure to let her know I appreciate this treasure.”
Ed grinned, obviously pleased.
“Perhaps I’ll have her come up so you can tell her yourself.”
“Oh that would be lovely,” Stede replied.
“Might want to get on the boat then. Safer. Her eyesight’s not what it used to be.”
“Of course,” Stede agreed.
Neither of them moved to go back to the boat though. Just continued to float there, comfortable in each other’s company.
“Thank you for renting the boat,” Ed said, “It’s nice.”
“No problem,” Stede replied, “Thank you for teaching me how to fish.”
“No problem.”
Then Ed began to giggle. Which caused Stede to laugh so hard he had to close his eyes. Ed drifted a bit closer until he was close enough that Stede could lean his forehead on Ed’s warm shoulder.
Then his laughter died, but he did not lift his head. It felt too good to be there, drifting on an endless sea together.
_____ ~*~ _____
“The sailors were dancing on deck,” Stede read, “and when the young prince came out, and when the young prince came out, more than a hundred rockets shot up into the air, they lit everything up as if it was broad daylight, so the little mermaid was very frightened and dived under the surface, but soon she stuck her head up again, and then it was as if all the stars in the sky fell down to her. She had never seen such pyrotechnics before. Great suns span round, wonderful fire-fishes soared into the blue sky, and everything was reflected by the clear, calm sea. On board the ship everything was so bright that one could see every little rope, and the people too. Oh how handsome the young prince was, and he clasped people’s hands, laughed and smiled, while the music rang out in the wonderful evening.”
“Oh my fucking god,” Ed said, eyes wide with wonder, the blankets tucked tight up around his ears.
Stede smiled and continued to read, unable to stop beneath that dark gaze. He’d started the evening reading in the armchair they’d set beside the bed for that very purpose. But the night was chill and he’d looked up at one point to find Ed lifting the blankets invitingly.
It was easy, sliding into the warmth of the bed with Ed. Easy as it had never been with anyone else in his life. Ed was loose and relaxed as a cat in a ray of sunlight and snuggled right up to Stede the moment he was settled. Turns out Ed was a bit of an octopus when snuggling.
It was a delight to read to Ed. Honestly, it was becoming one of Stede’s favorite things. Ed was so focused when Stede read, so invested in this world of words and striving that Stede had loved since he was a child.
To think he would find a kindred soul in this beautiful, rugged man. What might they have done together if they’d met when they were younger. How might their lives have been different.
The loss closed tight around his throat, stopping the words he was reading.
Ed had lifted his head to study Stede’s expression.
“You alright?”
Stede cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just glad you’re here.”
Ed didn’t answer that with words. Instead his eye’s crinkled at the corners devastatingly.
Stede felt that pressure closing over his throat again and choked out, “Maybe some more poetry? I have one I think you’ll like.”
“Sure,” Ed said, lounging back on the bed like a painting and freeing Stede of that intense stare.
Stede rose from the bed, stepped into his slippers and hurried across the chill room for the book he wanted. The thin little volume of poetry about the sea. He’d bought it as a boy and it was one of his greatest treasures, the cover barely marked though he’d read it hundreds of times.
He settled on the chair this time, needing a bit of composure. Opening the book, he found a poem and began to read,
“I started Early – Took my Dog – And visited the Sea – The Mermaids in the Basement Came out to look at me –“
It was all going quite well, the words closing around Stede, casting their immersive spell like a rising tide. Soon the room felt comfortable again, the future spinning out like a bright road of light in Stede’s chest. He had time. And Ed was here now. Whatever happened, this was a moment it would be a shame to miss.
The moment carried on, a bubble of comfortable warmth in the midst of the rain on the windows.
Up until Stede started reading the poem about the Kraken, “Below the thunders of the upper deep, Far, Far beneath in the abysmal sea, His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep The Kraken sleepeth.”
Even then, everything seemed fine. Until Stede read the last bit.
“There hath he lain for ages, and will lie Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep, Until the latter fire shall heat the deep; Then once by man and angels to be seen, In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.”
Suddenly Ed was pulling the blanket back and swinging his legs around to the floor. Stede set the book down on his lap.
“Ed? Are you alright?”
He obviously wasn’t. His shoulders were bent forward, his face turned away. The candlelight threw his shadow long and wavering against the wall at his back, like some great creature slowly waking.
“He shouldn’t have to,” Ed replied, voice low and rumbling, like it was coming from a chest far larger than Ed’s.
“Shouldn’t have to what?” Stede asked quietly.
Suddenly Ed straightened to face Stede, pain painted like blood over his expression, hair wild and shifting about his face, “Shouldn’t have to sleep until the day he dies! That’s…that’s not… is that all there is for him? Just… sleep? Dreaming about fucking worms until the day he dies? What kind of life is that!”
Confused and alarmed, Stede set the book down on the bedside table and rose to his feet, “It doesn’t sound like a very good one.”
“Right?!” Ed said, pacing the room, his hands up in his hair now, gripping it tight, “He’s drowning, Stede. He’s down there and he’s alone and the world is up there, all around him. He’s the fucking mermaid but he doesn’t even know about fireworks and-“
Stede’s hand was on his arm, gently touching, but it stopped Ed in his tracks.
“He isn’t drowning,” Stede said softly, “He can wake up whenever he wants. And those fireworks will be waiting for him.”
Stede brushed his hand a bit over the iron firmness of Ed’s forearm, hoping he was helping at all.
“He’ll be alright,” Stede said, “He’ll find his way. That poet can’t tell something as mighty as the Behemoth of the Deep what to do. Tennyson’s long dead, after all.”
There was a long moment of silence. Then Stede found himself with two arms full of warm, anxious Ed.
Stede staggered back a bit but finally got his feet planted under him. He gladly took his friend’s weight and began rubbing his hand on Ed’s back as those arm’s tightened around him like the Kraken itself.
“Hey there, its alright,” Stede murmured, “I’ve got you.”
Stede heard a little sniff and his hand paused, “You know, I think I’d quite like to meet the kraken.”
Ed sniffed again, “No you wouldn’t. He’s terrible.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, he eats people and breaks their ships and doesn’t have any soft blankets.”
“Ah, well,” Stede said, “Well, if he ever wants some, I have plenty.”
Ed lifted his head, eyes swimming and red-rimmed and beautiful, “That would be nice.”
Stede smiled and let Ed set his head back on Stede’s shoulder. And for a while, they just held each other, the silence dark and deep around them as the bottom of the abysmal sea.
_____ ~*~ _____
Stede came down from tending the light one rainy day to find Ed returned and warming up leftover soup on the stove.
“Well, hello,” Stede said softly, wrapping his soft cardigan a bit tighter around himself to ward off the chill that had crept in while he’d been upstairs. He tucked up against Ed’s side to look down into the pot and to perhaps leech a bit of warmth from the stove.
Not that Ed didn’t give off plenty of heat all on his own. The moment Stede pressed up beside him, he felt wonderful warmth all down his side.
“Mm,” he hummed.
“Damn, you’re frozen through,” Ed said.
“The wind’s a bit brisk at the top,” Stede said through clenched teeth.
Ed murmured a sympathetic sound and lifted his arm.
And dropped it over Stede’s shoulders, tugging him closer into his side.
Stede lost the thread of things for a moment. Caught in the fact that Ed was holding him and he was warm and smelled like Stede’s soaps and it all had Stede’s body humming like a struck bell.
Until he saw the gaping wound on Ed’s forearm.
He let out a strangled cry and grabbed Ed’s wrist to trap the arm where it was. Then he turned, pulling himself out from beneath Ed’s arm to stare at it. Then at Ed.
“What happened?”
Ed was staring at him like he’d just grown a second head.
“What happened to what?” Ed asked.
Stede lifted the captured wrist to better display the arm, “To your poor arm. Oh, it looks so painful.”
Ed blinked.
Then, “Ooooh,” he said, bending over a bit as if he’d suddenly been punched in the stomach, “It’s so painful and…bleeding.”
“Here,” Stede said, hating the sight of blood on Ed’s skin, “I have a kit under the sink. Let’s just sit you down on a chair.”
Ed allowed himself to be led to the kitchen table, his eyes wide as Stede carefully placed his arm on the surface.
“Wait there,” Stede said, lifting his hands and hurrying over to grab the kit from the kitchen, turning off the stove while he was there.
“What are you going to do,” Ed asked, apprehension loud in his expression.
Stede paused with the box in his hands, told his pounding heart to wait a moment, “I want to clean the bite with a cloth and some alcohol. Then wrap it. Maybe give you some paracetamol for the pain if you’d like.”
Ed looked like Stede had just clubbed him over the head, “For this?”
Stede looked down at the bite. It was as wide as Stede’s hand. A perfect circle of strange teeth marks, still bleeding slightly.
He looked back up at Ed.
“If its hurting you, I want to help it heal cleanly and quickly so the hurting stops. We can go to the doctor if you’d like that better. Might be a good idea.”
Ed pulled in a breath, leaned back on the chair.
“Nah, mate, I’m fine with you doing it,” he said, extending his arm out over the table.
“Very well,” Stede said, taking a bracing breath and crossed to take the other chair at the table.
As he got what he’d need out of the box he talked, “I did this for a dog I found once. It was much worse off than you are. Had had the bite for a while, could barely tell that it had been a bite by the time I came into things, it was so infected. Right on its face,” Stede said pointing to his cheek bone, “No idea what it was from. But we got it cleaned up just fine.”
Stede didn’t mention that the injury had only mostly healed when his father found the dog where Stede had hidden it in the old shed behind the house. He didn’t mention what his father had done to it once he’d found it either.
“I bet that dog was glad,” Ed said, “To have been found by you.”
Stede’s breath got curiously caught in his chest at that. Honestly, Stede thought the dog would have been better off to have never even seen him. Just like…well anyone Stede had ever met.
But his father was long in the grave now and perhaps he could do this one thing for this one friend.
Stede had finished cleaning the blood around the wound and poured a bit of the alcohol on a fresh cloth.
“Brace a bit,” Stede warned, “This might sting.”
Ed dutifully winced when he applied the cloth, but other than that bore it very well.
“I’ve never-“ Ed started.
Stede looked up, something in Ed’s voice calling his attention like a beacon.
“I’ve never had this,” Ed said, “Where I’m from we don’t…”
Stede followed his eyes to the injury. And Stede’s hands, tending to it.
He smiled at Ed, “I’m happy to do it. Let me know if you ever get bit again.”
Ed’s eyes were quite wide now, like Stede was an oncoming train. He nodded a bit and Stede studied the injury again.
“What bit you anyway,” Stede wondered aloud, “It looks very strange. Something with very thin teeth. What could that possibly-“
“It hurts,” Ed said, “It hurts alot. We should wrap it. Don’t you think?”
Stede started. What was he doing, treating his friend’s injury like a mystery to be solved. Ed was forthright with the things he wanted to be forthright about. If he didn’t want to say what had bit him, Stede shouldn’t pry. But he would suggest a doctor’s visit again. Especially if it started to inflame.
He hoped it didn’t, because he suspected actually getting Ed into Doctor Roach’s office again would be quite a feat.
Once they had the arm bandaged, Stede finished heating the soup and brought a bowl of it over to Ed with some pain medication and a glass of juice.
Ed watched him through it all as if he’d never seen him before. As if Stede were some strange creature who’d wandered in from the sea.
But it didn’t make Stede feel out of place the way it felt when people had stared at him in the past. Like he didn’t belong. Like he wasn’t a person.
Ed’s expression was different. But as he thought about it, he realized he’d seen it before, or at least a shade of it. This was wonder Ed was expressing now.
And the fact that a little first aid to a cut, when he’d only a few weeks ago carried Stede’s senseless body miles to the town to be seen to, made something clench tight in Stede’s chest.
Because his friend deserved better. Deserved so much better than to be struck speechless by some basic kindness. Some fundamental care for his well being.
It was all so upsetting that Stede had to put the bowl of soup he had been filling for himself down on the counter top before he spilled it. The click of porcelain against the granite was louder than he had intended.
“Stede? You alright,” Ed asked.
“Yeah,” Stede said, and even to himself it didn’t sound convincing at all.
_____ ~*~_____
The storm was the worst Stede had ever seen. Though it was midday, the sky was black as an open maw. Rain struck the glass of the light room, an unbroken hiss. The wind howled through the gaps in the panes. The floor beneath Stede shuddered with each wave that crashed against the cliff below.
Stede checked the glass for cracks and the floor for excessive amounts of water. The light was flashing away merrily enough, its light barely seeming to reach beyond the lighthouse railing. The roiling sea barely a suggestion of rippling water far below.
With the dark of the storm pressing in so very close, it was strange that Stede was in very little rush to return to the warmth of the rooms below.
But Ed was gone tonight, had left that morning as the rain had just begun to fall, saying he had business with Izzy today.
His absence had drained the day of color and no matter how much wood Stede put on the fire, it did not drive away the worry Stede felt.
Stede did not know what Ed and Izzy got up to together, but Ed had been evasive when Stede inquired and he came home with injuries half the time. So Stede did not feel that his worries were misplaced at all.
If Izzy had Ed out in this weather…
Ed had just been wearing his leathers. Hadn’t even taken a coat with him.
Stede stared into the dark and realized he was shivering fiercely. How long had he been up here?
He should go downstairs and make sure they had enough of that leftover soup. Should heat some of it up in case Ed came home chilled. Standing here, gawking at the storm wouldn’t help anybody at all.
About to turn and open the door to the stairs, Stede caught movement out in the dark. Or at least he thought he did.
He drifted toward the glass, waiting for the light to come back around. When it did he saw…
Something.
It wasn’t a ship, he thought first, though it was large and there were lights about it. But they glowed a strange blend of orange and red. It was close to the cliffs, far closer than a ship had any reason to be. There weren’t even any shipping lanes or fishing villages in range of this little cove, hence the state the lighthouse had been in when he bought it.
Then the light flashed again, and a long appendage caught the light, arching up into the night like the hand of an ancient god. Huge, impossibly huge. Large, oblong suckers easily each the length of a person pale against the dark mass of that arm.
Again the light turned and sank the world into darkness once more.
Unblinking, Stede grasped for the door to the catwalk.
When he got the door open, the wind and rain rushed in quick and hard, ripping the door out of his hand and swinging it back on its hinges so hard he thought he heard glass shatter.
But the beast in the sea was rising up now and all he could manage was to step out into the storm and witness the baring of that crested body, large black eyes catching wetly at the light. Tentacles rose around it before falling back into the water with terrible crashes and towering plumes of silver water.
The Kraken, Stede thought, wonder shaking a silent quake through his bones.
It was a terrible thing to behold, strange as distant stars and also familiar to Stede as the books on his shelves and the workings of his own mind. All his life he had dreamed of such a creature. And here it was, frolicking in a monster of a storm like nature herself given form.
Stede watched the monster free and powerful in the sea and saw joy in every twisting tentacle.
And Stede wished he could be with it. Out there. Where magic and nature lived together.
The body was drawn up further now, its crest fully unfurled and the lights on its body flashing fast as fireworks.
Suddenly Stede realized the head had turned, that one of those massive eyes had turned to focus on the tower.
On Stede.
For a moment, his legs trembled and he thought he would faint right over the railing.
Would the beast rise up and pull him into the sea? Devour him?
Perhaps that would not be so terrible.
There were far worse ways to die. Like back in the house where he’d been raised, next to a wife who hated him, having never even begun to live at all.
But then he stared into the Kraken’s dark eye and thought of another. And remembered that he wasn’t in that house anymore. He was in a lighthouse on the coast and Ed might come home soon and might need warming up, a fresh set of soft clothes. Perhaps they would read together. And then tomorrow, who knows.
But he so wanted to find out.
Stede staggered back from the rail. A single step.
Gods, he’d been here before, so many times. He’d stood at the edge and wondered, Do I want to live?
And not known the answer.
Until now.
He’d ask Ed if they could take the boat out again tomorrow. Perhaps there’d be some sign of the Kraken left after it descending back into the depths. It would be like a treasure hunt!
Oh, the thought of tomorrow tasted so sweet it ached. An ache he had never felt before Ed had appeared in his life.
He wanted to live. Until this moment, he hadn’t known the inner parts of himself had shifted so dramatically.
But he knew why they had. Oh yes. He knew.
Suddenly, the floor shuddered. Hard.
Stede staggered forward as a wave rushed up in front of his face, a wall of water blindingly white in the glare of the light, reaching up above the roof.
Stede barely had time to pull in a breath before the water crashed down over him, a smothering mountain of ice and dark. Pain ripped through his legs as they hit something.
The railing. Oh god.
Then he was falling. Down through a whirlwind of muffled sound and sharp cold.
When he struck the sea it was like being swallowed. He did not feel the impact, just the tug of inertia and the sudden silence. The last of his air bubbled out of his lungs and he found himself suddenly hanging in endless dark. He turned his head, looking desperately for the shine of the lighthouse, but it wasn’t-
No. There it was! A flash of light far away.
Stede’s lungs burned as he stared at the light, hope dwindling.
It was so far. Could he possibly reach it in time?
Then he noticed the light’s color. Not the silver sheen of a powerful halogen bulb. But red, like coals resting on the top of the water.
Or was it the surface at all.
Stede saw the light draw closer, the outline of dark tendrils crossing its glow.
The Kraken, Stede thought as his lungs spasmed and drew water into his lungs.
He moved his limbs in the water, trying feebly to move toward the light.
I’m sorry, Ed.
The Kraken glowed like a galaxy in the depths as its tentacles flared out about Stede. It’s grip was strangely gentle as it closed about him and pulled him into the dark.
_____ ~*~_____
The waves tugged at his legs as the Kraken dropped him on the beach. Stede lay where he landed, powerless and limp as a bit of kelp. He knew the rain was still falling. He could smell it. Hear it. But it all felt so very far away.
Then the Kraken’s body shuddered in the shallows.
For moment, Stede thought it had been struck. That some pirate crew had snuck up on it and struck the beautiful creature with a harpoon. Like in the stories.
But this wasn’t a story, was it?
Suddenly the Kraken was shrinking. Its lights flared along its skin as it compressed down and down into a slender shape. A familiar shape.
Ed, his mane of hair wet against his shoulders, his leather clothes shining wet and those coals burning bright in the lines of his tattoos.
Ed, Stede thought in amusement, looking at those tattoos, Of course it is Ed. Who else would bother to pull me from the water.
Then Ed was running up the beach toward him, his voice drifting further away.
“No, Stede,” Ed cried, “Don’t you dare. Fuck! Fucking breath, you bastard.”
Its alright, Stede thought as the dark closed with him again, We’ve found each other.
It’s alright, my beautiful monster.
_____ ~*~_____
Notes:
Thank you for reading!! feel free to chat with me in the comments or come say hi on tumblr
Below is the full poem from this chapter:
Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.-The Kraken, Alfred Tennyson
Chapter Text
“Did you know this lighthouse is haunted?” Stede asked.
Ed lifted his head from the couch and a pile of pillows, “What?”
Stede smiled mysteriously, lifting his eyebrows, “Haunted. For real.”
Ed stared at him from where he lay along the length of the couch, long legs hanging over the arm so they could drape over Stede’s lap where he sat in the armchair.
“Fuck off,” Ed said.
Stede’s hands paused where they had been rubbing the soreness out of Ed’s bad knee. He leaned forward in his chair, “Right? I didn’t even know that before I purchased it. Lucky me.”
Ed smiled up at him as he settled back into the pillows. Stede felt his heart thump hard in his chest at the sight. It had been two whole days since he’d really seen that soft, relaxed light in Ed’s eyes.
Coincidentally, it had also been two days since Stede had fallen off the lighthouse and been pulled from the arms a chill, dark death by a creature of legend.
But strangely enough, they hadn’t talked about it.
Stede had woken in his bed that next morning, warm and dry and safe, and in his softest pajamas no less. But when he called, Ed did not answer. He wasn’t there.
Stede had lain in the bed, because he was a bit tired from his ordeal, but mostly because he was remembering that first day he’d fallen and woken like this. Remembered Ed’s unfamiliar but friendly face looming over him like the page of a book turning.
It was a sweet memory and Stede chose to lounge in it a bit.
Then he’d gotten up, taken a bath, dressed in something soft and warm and made himself a cup of tea. It took him a while to look out the window, but all he saw was an overcast day and an unmarked stretch of sand bordering the uneventfully swaying sea. It was a morning like many others Stede had had since coming to this little building on this little cliff.
But it was the first time he had felt like leaving it.
He’d found yesterday’s clothes in the washing machine. All hint of the sea washed away.
Ed had come home around dusk, eyes wide and voice loud as he’d burst through the front door, talking all about the crazy party he’d been to with some old friends. But he smelled so much of the sea and his eyes were watching Stede so closely. Stede listened and talked with Ed about the party and kept his thoughts to himself.
And the longer the subject refused to rise, the more relaxed Ed became. Or at least that was how it seemed to Stede. If the whole thing was unintentional, if Ed had not wanted to share that part of himself with Stede but had done so to save his life, well. Stede was not about to force it out in the open.
But maybe he’d got it all wrong. Was reading into things that weren’t there. He’d found himself in that position plenty of times in his life, after all.
Or perhaps he had dreamed it all. He’d considered it in the quiet hours of the day. The roughness in Stede’s throat and voice, pressure in his chest, could just be an approaching illness.
An looming illness explained a lot of what his body was telling him actually. The way it hung heavy and weary about him, the way his mind was as still and calm as the smooth sand of the beach outside, completely unmarred by the sweeping marks of a kraken’s limbs. By the imprint of a body and desperate feet running out of the sea.
But he didn’t believe that stillness.
He’d seen what he’d seen.
The question was what to do with that.
Now Stede got back to pushing the soreness out of Ed’s knee with firm, soft hands. The air smelled of the sea and the bergamot lotion. Ed leaned back at the pressure with a bit of a groan.
“You like having a ghost in your house?” Ed asked, eyes now closed.
“Oh, I relish it. The little sounds in the dark. The hairs rising on the back of your neck as you wash the dishes. It’s like the old gothic novels. A terrifying, unknowable creature watching from unseen corners. The dramatic crack of thunder.”
Ed laughed.
“If I’d bought the place with any kind of forethought, I might have listed the supernatural as a desirable real estate trait.”
Ed was snorting now, “Only you, mate. Fucking mental.”
Stede grinned as Ed giggled. That cold beach felt very far away just now.
Then, when the laughter had faded a bit, Ed looked at him, suddenly serious.
Ed spoke softly, “But you and I know you gave this a hell of a lot of forethought. Just not about where you wanted to go.”
Stede’s breath caught, “Oh? What was it I thought about?”
Ed blinked, slow and inscrutable, “About whether you should go at all.”
Stede looked quickly down on his hands where they’d stilled again on Ed’s skin, “Ah, well.”
He glanced up when the couch rustled. Ed was sitting up, easy as he did everything, even with his legs still in Stede’s lap.
Then their faces were close. Stede only startled a little when Ed’s hand began to lift, but he settled immediately and let it rest on his shoulder.
“I’m glad you did,” Ed said, “Glad I met you.”
Stede couldn’t help the little smile he gave in return, but something tight and warm was in his chest and he was barely able to rasp out a, “Me too.”
Ed’s answering smile was far more important than what had happened in the storm.
_____ ~*~_____
But now Stede was beginning to notice things.
Well, no that wasn’t quite right. He’d already noticed them, he was paying quite close attention to his new friend after all. Ed was fascinating and just pleasant to look at, to listen to.
However, now that he was privy to a certain crucial detail, a few things about Ed were beginning to make a bit more sense.
“It’s flat,” Stede said, reaching under the back seat of the truck for the necessary tools.
“Yeah, that bit at the bottom does look flatter than usual,” Ed said, frowning at it.
“That it does,” Stede said, setting the heavy canvas bag beside the flat tire. He’d never done this before, but he’d read a book about vehicle maintenance when he’d purchased the truck. He was rather looking forward to putting his acquired knowledge to the test.
But then Ed said, “Does it need water?”
Stede paused and turned to Ed, “Water?”
“Yeah, things on land get all,” Ed slumped a bit where he stood, “Droopy when it hasn’t rained in a while. You know, crops and all that.”
“Oh,” Stede said, looking over the truckbed at the grey sea, “I see. Well, no, vehicle tires are a bit like that except that instead of water, they are full of air.”
Ed drew back a bit, “How the fuck does that work.”
Stede smiled up at his friend, the orange coal light of shifting shapes in a black sea looming at the edge of his thoughts and tried not to shiver as he explained.
When he began to explain pressure and Ed’s head started bobbing with excited recognition, Stede tried not to think of the deep, unknown trenches of the ocean.
Tried not to ask what it was like. What things Ed had seen.
_____ ~*~_____
Ed came home one night soaking wet, skin chill to the touch. This had become so common lately that Stede already had a hopeful kettle on. He pushed a hot cup into Ed’s hands as he said his hellos before hurrying away for his warmest robe.
Ed had already begun to shed his clothes, hanging all of that wet leather on the strong hooks they’d installed by the door for him. He was tossing back the cup of tea in nothing but his pants when Stede returned.
Stede’s eyes swept up all of that dark, tattooed skin quickly before setting his eyes firmly on Ed’s face.
“Here you are. Nice and toasty,” Stede said, slipping the robe around Ed’s shoulders.
“Mm,” Ed groaned deep in his chest as he shrugged deeper into the robe and against Stede’s hands, “Thanks, mate.”
“You’re welcome,” Stede said, resting his hands there for a moment, “Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah, sure. Loads of fun.”
But the lines of his face were cut with obvious exhaustion and his body hung still on his bones like it rarely ever did.
Not for the first time, Stede wondered what Ed got up to on days like these. He’s suspected most of the days away were spent with Izzy, as unpleasant a person as Stede had ever met. He could see a man like that getting up to all sorts of cruelty and pointless hardship. Why Ed would put up with it, Stede could not guess.
But he hadn’t ever really asked. So he didn’t know.
And all the times he hadn’t asked before hung before Stede like a wall that kept the questions inside himself.
Now there were a few new questions, though.
Did Izzy know?
Stede had had a vague idea that Izzy might have something on Ed, blackmail or something like it, that kept Ed on his leash.
But after seeing what Stede had seen the other night, the idea of anything in existence holding Ed against his will seemed completely ridiculous.
Suddenly he noticed Ed staring at him, eyes huge and dark and watchful as they often were. Sharp. Ed’s eye’s were so sharp. Slicing Stede out of his shell so quick Stede never felt the cut. Sometimes Stede wondered if Ed was even aware of what he did to Stede. How grateful Stede was for it.
“You alright?” Ed asked.
Stede blinked, coming back to himself, wondering how long he had been staring, “Yes, I… I’m fine.”
“You sure? Want a little snuggle?”
Stede immediately felt his face heat at the offer. So casual, so easy. As if offering to tuck his body against Stede’s so that they both might feel warm and comforted was the easiest thing to suggest.
“Ah, yes, that does sound…wonderful actually,” Stede replied.
Ed’s eyes narrowed in a pleased smile, his hand coming out to rest on Stede’s arm, squeezing it a bit, “I’m gonna take a quick shower, if you wanna pick a book and a blanket? I’ll meet you at the couch?”
“Certainly,” Stede said, a bit breathless.
Ed swept away in a flourish of green silk and disappeared into the bathroom.
Stede had a blanket in his arms when he heard the hiss of the shower begin, nearly smothering the rumble of the storm outside. Stede was studying the bookshelf of books they’d set aside together, a sort of to-read shelf that had been the result of Ed wanting to know more about Stede’s book collection without having the ability to actually sit down and focus on a single story for more than a few moments without a lot of preparation. It was a sweet, eclectic sort of collection. Poetry and novels and travel guides and fairy tales and cookbooks.
Stede felt that familiar warm ache in his chest, looking at the books. Feeling so… grateful he had found Ed. He was so curious and devastatingly smart. He knew so many strange things. The how of that making for more sense now than it had before. Stede found himself wishing his knowledge of Ed’s true form was out in the open, so he could ask questions. There was so much he wanted to know. So many questions he’d sensed Ed might not be able to answer.
But if this one quite large secret didn’t stand between them, what might their future look like? Could such a beautiful person find any lasting happiness tethered to this lighthouse? To Stede?
Surely not, Stede knew, but the way Ed looked at him…The way if felt when they were together…
Stede couldn’t help but continue wondering.
Suddenly a rumble rolled through the house, startling Stede so badly he dropped the blanket.
That certainly hadn’t been thunder, what could it have…
Then he heard it again, quieter, coming from the bathroom, an inhuman groan of pleasure. Ed must have just got in the shower, got his chilled shoulders under the deliciously powerful pressure of the shower head.
As Stede had been told several times, Ed really liked Stede’s shower.
Stede rested a hand against the bookshelf, silent laughter overtaking him as his heart beat calmed. That second, quieter groan had sounded a bit like thunder hadn’t it.
How many times had he mistaken the kraken’s roar for thunder, he wondered, and how had he found himself in a situation where that was a reasonable question to be asking himself on a rainy night.
Stede was still laughing a bit when he settled onto the couch and spread the blanket out to his satisfaction. Then he rested the book on his lap and listened to Edward singing softly, his voice strong even if his grasp of the lyrics were less so.
_____ ~*~_____
“A parade.”
“Yeah, I thought it would be nice,” Stede said, “Really brighten everyone’s week. This town could do with a lot more cheer and enthusiasm!”
Olu opened his mouth, but no words came out.
They were in the little park at the center of town. It’d been an empty lot with some piled tires and a dumpster with a hole in it that leaked mysterious fluid onto the cracked concrete.
It’d taken the better part of a year to get the concrete up. But by that point, the town had really taken to the idea of a park of their own, writing up plans and blueprints and all of that, and Stede hadn’t had to do much of anything at all.
And the results were quite fab. A few young trees, some benches, even a couple of rose bushes.
Ed seemed quite taken with the freshly installed sod, having sprawled himself out like a starfish beside the rosebushes
They’d come to take a look at the place before heading home with their groceries when they’d spotted Olu and Jim lounging across a bench.
“A parade’s stupid,” Jim said, “What would it even be for.”
“For?” Stede asked.
“Yeah,” Olu said, “Parade’s are usually about something. We don’t really have anything going on right now.”
“I’m sure we could come up with something,” Stede said, “We’ve a lot of very creative people living here, just waiting for this kind of opportunity to show their stuff.”
Jim sighed.
“Maybe…” Olu said, like he didn’t want to be saying anything at all, “We could have a meeting? See what other people say?”
Stede nodded, smiling a bit, “What a great idea. Good thinking, Olu. Maybe Thursday?”
Olu shrugged, “You’d have to talk to someone who’s in charge of anything around here… I’m not that person, just to be clear.”
Jim huffed a laugh from beneath the shade of their hat, “Maybe you should be. Town could do with a braincell or two in charge.”
Olu sat up a bit, “You offering to be that second one?”
Jim just smiled.
“Stede,” Ed called from the grass, “Get over here and have a lie down. It’s really nice. Relaxing and shit.”
He looked over at Ed, all the stunningly casual elegance of him beckoning Stede closer.
Stede barely remembered to say his goodbyes before rushing over to sit down beside Ed.
“You’re right,” Stede said, “It is rather nice, isn’t it.”
Ed scoffed, “Not like that, mate. You gotta lie down. Stretch out a bit. Take a load off.”
Then Ed closed a hand around Stede’s wrist and hauled him helplessly to the ground, sprawled along the long lines of Ed’s body.
Stede’s hand reached out to stabilize and landed on Ed’s warm chest. His breath caught as Ed smiled up at him, “There you go. Nice and comfy?”
“Ah,” Stede said, Ed’s hand still around his wrist, the echo of that powerful pull still ringing through Stede’s mind along with all of the other times he’d displayed that stunning strength.
Why it was stunning, Stede couldn’t say. He’d known Ed was strong since the first day he’d met him, when he’d carried Stede’s unconscious body from the lighthouse to the hospital. Stede was also now remembering the state of the hospital room’s door when he’d woken.
“You ok, mate?” Ed said, gentle fingers brushing a lock of hair from Stede’s brow.
But before Stede could answer, a voice snapped, “What the fuck are you doing.”
Stede jolted and turned to find Ed’s friend Izzy glaring over them. Stede relaxed a bit. Izzy glared about everything. Instead of the usual spectrum of expressions, Izzy was capable of a series of glares, each lightly seasoned by the emotion they would have expressed if he were less prone to glaring.
This one that Izzy was currently sporting was his confusion glare. Much less concerning than the irritation scowl or the snarl of hatred.
Stede smiled at him a bit, “Having a lovely time in our town’s recreation space. You should try it. Come on.”
Then Stede patted the ground between his and Ed’s hips. Ed laughed, a low, beautiful rumble.
“Yeah, come on, Iz,” Ed said, “Relax. Like a normal human.”
Izzy did not relax. In fact he did the exact opposite, his shoulders tensing and his breath rasping in his throat.
“That is not funny,” Izzy said.
Ed hummed a bit, “It’s a little funny.”
Izzy was looking even paler than usual. A bit green about the gills actually.
The instant he thought the idiom, Stede grew very still, caught by a sudden and impossible thought.
Well, perhaps not that impossible, he thought, feeling Ed’s hand still warm around his wrist. Then he looked at Izzy’s neck.
There were scars. On his neck. Four diagonal lines on the side he could see. Thin and dull white. Like a very large cat had got the best of him years ago.
Stede leaned a bit, to get a look at the other side, but Izzy noticed immediately and drew back a quick, wary step.
“Back off,” Izzy hissed.
Stede lifted his free hand, “No need to get so irate. Not much I can do sitting here on the ground, is there.”
Izzy’s eyes narrowed at Stede, then he looked past him at where Ed lounged.
“We need you tomorrow, boss,” Izzy said.
Ed was quiet, his eyes holding something strange and sharp in their depths. Something that made Stede’s heart pound. Like it had in the storm.
If Ed ever looked at Stede that way, he did not know that he would be able to stand so still and patient as Izzy was doing right now.
But then Ed nodded and Izzy turned and walked away. And the air seemed to brighten considerably with his departure.
Stede watched him leave, thoughtful.
But then Ed sprang to his feet, “I’m hungry. You hungry?”
“Well yes…” Stede answered, startled, “I was considering an afternoon picnic as a matter of fact. Does that sound tempting?”
“Fuck yeah, mate. Let’s go.”
____~*~____
Stede lounged on his back on the beach, stomach contentedly full of delicious food, the ocean breeze ruffling his hair and Ed a warm blanket all along his left side.
The sunset was a stunning splash of orange and purple across the bellies of the clouds that clustered along the horizon. The stars were just beginning to appear in the wake of the day.
The world felt still and calm and Stede felt so happy it hurt a bit. In the center of his chest. Like there was a weight there making it a bit hard to breathe.
A weight other than Ed’s head nestled comfortably at the dip between Steve’s shoulder and the muscle of his chest. Ed was sleeping soundly, long limbs wrapped liberally around Stede.
Quite a lot like a certain generously limbed cephalopod, actually.
Stede brushed his fingers through long, salt and pepper hair and wished.
That Ed could stay. That Ed had sweet dreams resting against him. That Ed might begin picking out his own books to bring home and read them to Stede. That Ed might finally join the little acting club in town. Then Stede could go to his performances, perhaps even direct a play or two himself. Though Stede thought watching plays was his preference.
He rested his cheek against the top of Ed’s head and wished that perhaps, someday, they might rest together like this everyday and through the nights, warm in a bed they shared.
That the sea might not take Ed from him. That, for the span of Stede’s human years, they might be together.
But, Stede knew, as he looked out at the waves, he was certainly not the first to wish so desperately for such a thing.
Or to be disappointed when it didn’t happen.
Perhaps he should just tell him. Be honest about what he knew but also what he was feeling and thinking and wanting. Ask if Ed might want any of those same things.
But then Ed suddenly murmured,
“I like the stars,” his voice low and rough with sleep, body just as boneless as it had been a moment ago. He must have woken up quietly as Stede was lost in thought, “Really like them.”
“They’re lovely, aren’t they,” Stede agreed against the warmth of his hair.
“You can’t see them from the-“
Ed suddenly cut off, what he was about to say perhaps clearer to Stede than Ed expected. He felt that painful wishing tighten around his chest as he squeezed Ed closer to him.
“From the city?” Stede suggested helpfully, shame swooping sharp in his belly. Ed relaxed against him with a soft nod.
“Yeah mate,” he said, “From the city.”
Stede closed his eyes as Ed drifted back to sleep the sound of the waves suddenly loud in the silence.
____~*~____
Izzy had arrived like a moldy clementine in a fresh bag. He’d barely knocked on the door before letting himself and his scowl into Stede’s home. A quick glance of his eye communicating that he’d never seen a more contemptible collection of objects in his long and no doubt miserable life.
How a person could be such a completely joyless asshole when he got to spend so much time around Ed was a complete mystery to Stede.
For a long, silent moment, Stede and Izzy stared at each other.Finally Stede set the remainder of his muffin on his plate, “Good morning, Iggy, come right in. So glad you could stop by. See that wasn’t so hard. Perhaps you could try it. A few manners to go with your scowl.”
Izzy snorted, “Where is he.”
“Getting ready,” Stede replied, “He’ll be down in his own time. Muffin? Or are you more of a dry toast man.”
“I’m not a-“ Izzy caught the rest of his words behind a click of teeth but Stede heard them nonetheless.
I’m not a man at all.
“Have a seat, Izzy. There’s no telling when Ed will be ready.”
To Stede’s surprise, it only took a moment of teeth grinding for Izzy to sit down. It was less surprising that Izzy chose to sit on the welcome mat right beneath his feet.
Stede blinked and found himself speaking before thinking, “You can sit on one of these chairs over here.”
Izzy stared.
“If you can manage to be civil for a second or two,” Stede finished.
Izzy just bared his faintly pointed teeth in answer.
Stede sniffed and went back to his muffin. He ate it in silence. Then, feeling oddly restless, poured himself another cup of tea. Sipped it and then stood up.
Izzy, when Stede turned toward him again, had stood with him.
Stede took a moment to take in the tense line of Izzy’s shoulders, the wide spread of his feet.
“What are you doing, “Stede asked, crossing the kitchen toward him, “You look ridiculous. Like you think I’m going to go for your throat.”
“Try it,” Izzy growled.
“I’d rather not, if that’s alright with you. You’ll have to find senseless violence in someone else’s kitchen.”
“Then what are you doing,” Izzy rasped.
It was Stede’s turn to scoff, “Offering you a bit of subsistence before your great voyage to parts mysterious and unknown.”
He topped that statement off with a dramatic removal of the napkin in his hand to reveal a fresh muffin and plate resting across his palm.
Izzy looked at the muffin. Then at Stede, then back at the muffin.
“What,” the creature that looked like a man said.
Stede tried very hard not to smile at Izzy’s confusion and perhaps succeeded since Izzy didn’t immediately lunge to gut him. Izzy was so unlike Ed in that moment. No effort taken at all to mask his confusion.
Stede found it…
Well.
“I’m offering you food,” Stede said.
Izzy’s attention was back on Stede’s face now, eyes narrowing, “Why.”
Stede drew back a bit, “Why? So you can eat it of course. What else do you do with a muffin.”
“I don’t- I know what-“ Izzy floundered, teeth bared in frustration.
Stede raised his brows and waited for Izzy to remember how to form a complete sentence.
Izzy finally tilted his head a bit and closed his eyes, like he might be developing a headache, “Why are you giving it to me.”
Now it was Stede’s turn to flounder, and wonder why he hadn’t just stayed quiet and finished his breakfast on the other side of the room, “Well, because I want to?”
Then, prompted by Izzy’s blank look, he continued, “Because it's polite, I suppose. Not that you are likely to appreciate such a thing. Bit beyond your capabilities it seems.”
Izzy growled, “What the fuck does that mean, you pathetic bag of chum.”
“Well, I never really…Hm,” Stede replied, ignoring Izzy’s insult. Insults from Izzy were becoming a bit mundane by this point in Stede and Ed’s relationship, “I suppose it means it's a thing I learned to offer people to show I was a good host. That I would provide for the needs of the people who came to visit.”
Izzy stared, “You…but what do you fucking want.”
“What?”
“You are giving someone food, you fucking imbecile. Obviously when I then ask you ‘why’ its about what you fucking want in exchange. I have no idea why he’s so interested in a raving madman with a dead jellyfish between his ears who can’t understand a fucking question.”
“Wow. I do believe that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak, Iggy. I hope you didn’t pull anything. And as a helpful tidbit, you’ve already warranted my hospitality by being invited to my home. And by being Ed’s friend, I suppose, disappointing company though you happen to be.”
Izzy was suddenly much closer to Stede than he had been a moment ago, his scent that of the sea and his voice soft as the scrape of a knife.
“Sucking up to me won’t help you wriggle further into his brain, you know. He’s stronger and more clever than any other person you’ve ever met in your pitiful little waste of a life. He’ll figure out what you are and then both of us will never have to see you again.”
Stede nodded a bit pretending to think about that.
Then, unable to help himself said, “Ok…so you don’t want the muffin?”
Izzy’s hand was only on Stede’s throat for a second when Ed’s voice rumbled through the room.
“Izzy.”
Soft. Disappointed. Like Izzy was a misbehaving puppy.
But when Stede turned to look at Ed, he felt the unmistakable edge of claws against his skin. Izzy’s claws. Then they were gone and Izzy took a large step away from Stede.
Stede shot a glare at Izzy and then turned back to Ed, “That scarf looks charming with your leathers. You’re really excellent at accessorizing.”
Ed smiled at Stede for a moment, halfway up the stairs and leaning with his forearms on the railing. He was devastatingly beautiful as always, the thin floral scarf at his throat a bright pop of color against his warm skin. Especially when he looked back at Izzy and his eyes darkened like a storm cloud.
“Outside.”
“Boss.”
But that was all Izzy said, eyes wide and filled with something like fear but also like something else entirely.
Ed just waited. And after a moment, Izzy turned, opened the door and left the house with a quiet click of the latch.
“Sorry about that,” Ed said, descending the rest of the stairs.
“That’s alright,” Stede said, still holding the offending muffin, “I admit I was teasing him a bit. Not sure what came over me.”
Ed laughed, a barely there rumble in his chest, a bit of darkness still in his eyes as he stepped up beside Stede, “Oh I know the feeling. Is that for me?”
“Well, it is now. Izzy didn’t seem interested, you may have noticed.”
Ed popped the muffin in his mouth and hummed as he chewed. Then he wandered over to the table to pour himself some tea.
“I’ll take him one,” Ed said.
“Perhaps you could take the rest of them for the road.”
“Mm, no need. I think we’ll stay till nightfall at least.”
Surprised, Stede joined him beside the table, “Really? I thought you wanted to get ahead of this afternoon’s storm?”
That is what Ed had said anyway, though there was nothing any storm in the forecast. Bit of rain to the south maybe but it was supposed to miss them entirely. But Stede had learned to trust Ed on this sort of thing.
“Think we‘ll stay a bit. If that’s alright. Give Izzy some practice getting used to the idea that I’m here with you.”
Stede felt a wash of heat at that and then Ed looked up. And smiled. That devastatingly mischievous smile. Stede might have choked on the air but rallied.
“Of course, Ed. That would be lovely.”
___~*~____
“The gang is going to miss you,” Stede said as they sat on the lighthouse’s new porch. Well, on the new porch’s new plush outdoor chairs, to be exact.
“Mm,” Ed hummed around his pipe, the smoke curling silver around the two of them in the gray of the approaching night, “S’ppose they might.”
Then he seemed to hear something, because he sat up, “Casserole is done.”
Stede blinked at him, the timer on the table between them hadn’t gone off yet, but he’d set the timer on the oven inside…
Perhaps Ed had heard it go off?
“Gonna go get it,” Ed said, levering himself to his feet. Stede could tell the chill of falling night and sitting in the chair had let soreness creep into his knee, but Ed smiled down at him when he saw his worried expression. His hand was heavy and warm on Stede’s shoulder as he walked behind him toward the door.
Stede stared after him. Ed had made the casserole from a recipe he’d found in one of the cookbooks. Had been talking about making it for days now. Stede looked forward to trying it, but more than that he anticipated the contentment that fell over Ed on the nights he cooked. Like providing food settled some restless thing inside of him.
As the door closed, Stede picked up his thermos of tea and took a sip, smiling a bit against the rim.
He looked forward to finding all the things that brought Ed peace.
A sharp scoff drew Stede’s attention to the porch steps where Izzy was standing, not actually on the porch beyond one foot raised to rest on the second step.
“Something in your throat?” Stede asked in mock concern before taking another sip.
He hadn’t missed the dark marks around the man’s throat that hadn’t been there during the muffin incident. That the mark looked less like the bruise a hand might make and more like something made by a rope or a similar aquatic limb had not escaped Stede.
Though he still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do about it. If he wanted to do anything at all.
Izzy chose to ignore him with nothing but an eye roll.
“If you have something to say, might as well make up your mind and say it,” Stede said, without turning his head.
“I have a lot to say,” Izzy replied, slow and tight, “But Edward promised to come with me at moonrise. And since I have proper respect for him, I will wait. But that doesn’t mean every word you speak isn’t grating on my ears, Bonnet.”
Stede’s teeth clenched, words trapped behind his teeth for the moment.
Izzy smiled at him, that smug, confident smile, “At moonrise, he leaves this pointless place and goes back where he belongs.”
“For two weeks,” Stede snapped, “Then he will come back. Wherever you may take him, this is where he wants to be.”
Izzy’s smile did not falter, the porchlight catching strangely in his eyes for a brief, flashing moment. Then they returned to normal.
“Keep trying to convince yourself. A few weeks up here with… you will not change who he is. Or what he wants. He will tire of you, as he has tired of everything else.”
The words, striking too close to his own fears, gave him pause.
Izzy was ignoring him again when Stede finally replied, “Whether he tires of me or not, I will be there.”
Izzy’s eyes were on him again, and he was not smiling now. His expression was solemn as a cliff face, something haunted lurking about his eyes, though that might just be the tricky light of dusk.
“As it should be,” was all Izzy said before Ed came out again, telling Stede all about how the top of the casserole had turned a pretty golden color.
Stede smiled at Ed, but he found himself struggling to hear the words, a strange sort of plan forming in the back of his mind.
____~*~____
“Going on a trip?” Lucius asked, leaning against the truck bed as Stede lifted his cooler back into the passenger seat after packing the snacks into it.
“Just a little one. Will be back in no time.”
Lucius seemed to sense something because he tilted his head a bit to get a better look at Stede’s face.
When Stede turned to look at him Lucius’ eyes widened, “Are you ok?”
Stede felt like his own eyes were a bit wide themselves, but there wasn’t much he could do about it at the moment, “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be.”
“…I don’t know,” Lucius replied and them paused for a moment, “Are you coming back?”
Stede didn’t reply immediately, suddenly wondering if leaving and never returning might not be…best. For everyone. Ed had been gone for two days now and Stede’s excitement at his plan was quickly draining away into a gut clenching uncertainty.
He will tire with you, as he has tired of everything else.
Izzy’s words spun in a tireless loop in his head. He’d sounded so confident when he’d said it. And so unimaginably tired.
How long had Ed and Izzy known each other? Stede was confident the bitter knot of a man wasn’t human. What things had he seen to put that exhaustion in his voice? What depths of Ed’s history had he walked that Stede might never know?
Would Ed be pleased with Stede’s plan? Or would it disappoint him. A grasping attempt to hold on to someone who’d only ever planned to visit.
“Oh god,” Lucius gasped, jolting Stede out of his thoughts, “You know.”
Stede looked up at him at that, “What?”
But whatever was in his eyes seemed to confirm it for Lucius, “Thank god, that was so hard to watch. I thought you were going to get eaten at first but then-“
“Wait… eaten?” Stede asked, “It's… you know?”
Lucius pulled in a shuddering breath.
“Oh shit. Please don’t tell anyone. Especially Ed and Izzy. We all know but its like this secret and if either of them found out they’d totally suck all our skin off or tear us in half or-“
Stede rested a hand on Lucius’ shoulder, “I don’t think they’d do that.”
Lucius grimaced, “Yeah ok, you can say that but you are the one dating the Kraken.”
Stede stared, “Dating?”
Lucius looked a little sick, “Oh my god.”
Then Stede realized he was grinning. Dating. It felt… it felt fantastic to hear that word. To hear it in regards to Ed and himself. Like it was more real now. Lucius had barely been around them and he had seen it. What they had…what Stede had felt.
Even if they weren’t actually dating. Not yet anyway.
But when he returned, maybe they… maybe Ed would want that…with him.
With renewed determination, Stede opened the door of the truck and climbed in.
____~*~____
Notes:
Hello! I know its been a while but sometimes my inspiration drops me with no warning which means I am riddled with WIPs 😢 But that is not the case with this story any longer! I have completed it completely with complete completeness and will be posting the remainder over the next few days 👍 Hope you guys like it and thank you for all your encouragement so far!
Chapter Text
“No sign of him, boss,” Izzy said, sounding bored, “Though word in town is he left on a trip over a week ago and hasn’t been seen back since.”
Ed stood in the center of the lighthouse. He could see the kitchen with its little matching containers of tea and spices sitting on the counter. He could see the dining table with the cut flowers wilting in their vase at its center. Could see the living room with a soft, plaid blanket still sprawled over the arm of Stede’s favorite reading chair.
The room still smelled like Stede, though the little tremors of his presence were missing. They used to make Ed itch, those tremors. Like something small and afraid and delicious fleeing for its life in the deep depths. His limbs aching to coil inescapably around it. To crush it. To draw it in and snuff out its little life to feed his endless drowning.
But, this once, he’d ignored that itch to grab and bite and kill. And the urge had faded and he’d quickly found that waking to the feel of Stede’s steps through the material of the house was as precious as a touch. Like Stede was reaching out through the wood and stone of his nest to say ‘I am here. I am letting you know that I am here because I trust you. I do not fear you’.
Had found himself reaching out to draw his limbs around Stede and relished when he didn’t struggle. Did not try to run. Just leaned into Ed’s touch and sighed the way humans sighed when they were happy.
But the house was silent now. Stede was gone. And Ed hated it. The house sat around him, an abandoned shell, memories echoing around Ed like the smell of the human who’d lived here.
Ed found himself in the living room, standing directly before the bookcase, holding the little bottle with a ship inside carefully in his hands.
“…Edward,” Izzy murmured softly, crossing the room to stand at his side. That wasn’t Ed’s name. Not the name Izzy had known him as before all of this. But it was the name Ed had asked him to call him. And Izzy was obedient when it suited him.
So he called Ed by his new name. But he didn’t say anything more. Not yet. He was trying to understand, Ed knew. Izzy hadn’t understood what Ed saw in Stede. Or in this place. Ed had told him about it when Ed had first found Stede and had still been watching him from the shadowed places in his house. Had tried to explain the excitement, the life that no amount of hunting had been able to give him in...so long. But Izzy had just stared at him.
Had said, “That’s…When are you going to eat him?”
“I don’t know, man, I don’t know that I want to eat him at all.”
“That makes no sense, boss.”
“I know. But it feels good, Izzy. I’m going to stay. A little longer.”
Izzy had looked at him, that confusion tilting into something a bit more like fear. Ed had been able to taste it, sweet and sharp in the water. But Izzy had wrestled it down and Ed had ignored it. Let Izzy think through what he wanted to say.
But he hadn’t said much at all.
Just “…alright.”
And now they stood here. Together has they had been for year upon endless year. The depths rolling over them even as they stood on solid fucking ground.
“He’ll come back,” Ed said.
Izzy remained silent. Because they both knew Stede hadn’t mentioned a trip.
“Did they say how long he was going to be gone.”
“Not exactly. But not long.”
Ed hummed at that, staring down at the bottle in his hands and the clever little vessel inside. An impossible beautiful thing. Like nothing he had ever seen before. Like the soft blankets and the olives and his own hair done up in ribbons.
Ed hadn’t held the bottle as often as he had in those early days. Had stopped carrying it around with them on outings or curling around it during story time.
But Ed was holding it now, and it still appeared as wondrous as it was when he’d first crawled into the house and pulled it from the shelf. Before he’d taken on this shape and picked a name to give the injured human named Stede.
“Do you-“ Izzy started, awkward and unsure, “Do you want tea?”
Ed looked at him, “You don’t know how to make tea.”
Izzy lifted his chin, “I could learn. You can tell me how.”
Just the thought of it had Ed sinking into a deep, cloying despair. He felt his shoulders drop and he turned for the stairs.
“No,” Ed said, “I’m going to bed. Stay here and wake me when Stede returns.”
“Yes, boss.”
Ed dragged himself up the stairs, the little bottled ship tucked into the crook of one arm. When he reached the upstairs bedroom, he stepped past the long couch he’d been sleeping on when he was here, the linens freshly washed and smelling of sweet lavender, and instead sank into Stede’s bed like a overturned dinghy. He curled a bit, the blankets releasing a sudden fresh wave of Stede’s scent, bright and human and comforting.
Ed’s throat caught, like he was beginning to choke, but there was nothing there when he coughed.
This human body did strange things sometimes. It was fine. He pressed his face into the blankets and closed his eyes. He ignored when they started leaking salt water.
Like the sea was pouring out of him onto the blankets.
____~*~____
“Hello?”
The door creaked open with an ominous whine, echoing strangely in the empty house.
Lucius stared at the dark interior, the sunlight at his back doing little more than deepening the shadows inside.
He took a step back, putting his face in the sunlight and closing his eyes, “Oh my god this is such a stupid idea.”
Then he gripped the door handle tight and stepped into the lighthouse.
It had been almost two weeks since Stede left. No phone calls. No letters.
Izzy came into town from time to time, hunting information for his boss. But each time he visited, no one had anything new for him.
Before Stede moved into town, Lucius had taken pains to avoid the legendary monster that sometimes visited the town, walking the streets with glowing tattoos, an entourage of leather clad followers, and a menacing weight rolling off the lot of them like a fog.
But then Lucius had met Ed. And that man was an entirely different thing. A softer thing. Someone Lucius could not leave alone at this time.
He’d seen the way Ed looked at Stede. They all had. He’d also seen the way Stede looked back, which was why he could not figure out what Stede was doing, abandoning Ed without word like this.
Entering the house, Lucius made it to the edge of the rectangle of light the door spilled across the floor. Then he stopped, unable to move forward. He had thought his eyes would adjust, but the shadows were still deeper than they had any right to be. He could barely make out the edge of the counter to his left, the back of a wooden chair in front of him. The living room to his right was a pool of ominous dark.
“Ed?” Lucius squeaked.
Something glowed in the dark to Lucius’ right, a rich, burning orange, like yawning pits opening into the center of the world. Then Ed was stepping out of the dark, his tattoos glowing in a way Lucius hadn’t seen in a while.
Lucius studied the man and breathed, “Oh, Ed.”
“He’s not coming back,” Ed said, voice tight with pain. With grief.
Then those glowing eyes rose to Lucius’ face, an ageless being lost in a strange sea, “Why.”
Lucius swallowed, pain and fear clashing in his throat, “Um, I don’t know. He… he said it was only a short trip.”
“Is this normal?” Ed asked, “For humans?”
“It’s not…unheard of. But he should have left some word of how long he would be gone so you didn’t…worry.”
Ed’s eyes closed, leaving the room darker than it had been, “It hurts so much.”
“Oh,” Lucius said, drifting closer. But the looming dark seemed to close in around him and he suddenly felt that, if he drifted too far from that little rectangle of light, that it would disappear entirely, and he wouldn’t ever leave this place again. He drifted to a stop, awkwardly standing in the no man’s land between the injured legend and the bright day behind him.
“It will be alright,” Lucius said, “Perhaps he just needed time to think about things. The situation is a bit unique.”
Ed’s eyes were on him now, “What situation.”
Lucius shifted, head quickly filling with a mantra of oh shit oh shit oh shit.
“Just the fact that the two of you aren’t exactly… the same sort of people…”
Those eyes were narrowing now, two flaming slits in the dark. Things were shifting in the unseen space around Lucius, along the walls, the floor the ceiling. Reaching, reaching. The sound like roots growing through wet earth.
“Oh god,” Lucius gasped.
“He knows,” Ed said, “He knows and he…”
Left.
Lucius cannot see Ed anymore, the dark having swallowed him. Or perhaps the darkness had been Ed all along, the depths of the ocean pooling into this little building on the edge of nowhere like a weeping wound. It’s weight pressing down on Lucius, unnoticed and terrible.
That deep orange light began to bloom all around Lucius, coiling tentacles suddenly visible in all directions.
Lucius turned to run. And jolted to a stop as the light of the doorway was covered, snuffed out like candlelight. Leaving only darkness and the groaning of the walls.
Breath ragged, Lucius spun back as a low rumble shuddered through the floor. The sound of a nightmare rising, of a wounded thing keening, as a huge, orange eye opened, filling the room.
Lucius screamed as the Kraken rose to devour him.
____~*~____
It was all his.
No one would take it from him.
The endless empty eternity stretching out in all directions was as much his own as the muscles beneath his skin. The future as unchangeable as the fucking past. Rolling above him like memory.
No mystery.
No change.
No fucking life.
A living death just for him.
He rose from the sea, a cavernous, empty maw, grasping and hungry and never filled. Cold as the frozen floor of the ocean. It’s white silt of powdered bones stretching for miles upon lonely miles.
He dragged his body from the clinging grasp of the water that would lock him away.
One last time. Just this once.
Because he was the Kraken. A monster from a story book. A horror. From below the thunders of the upper deep. Terrible. Impossible.
Just one more grasping destruction. Then he would sleep. Would finally sink to the bottom and stay there.
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep.
Almost like dying.
Latching onto the cliff face, the Kraken drew himself closer to the little spire of a building. So empty. So pointless. A little pile of rocks on atop a bigger rock. How stupid it all looked. The things humans made.
He hated them.
Hated their stupid fucking noises. Their constant breathing. Their fluffy hair and the way they laughed. Their little box houses they lived in and filled with silly fucking useless things just because it made them happy to do so. The way they could wrap their soft, soft blankets around themselves and each other and-
Ed wrapped his limbs around the little lighthouse on the cliff. Squeezed tight around it as the waves below tugged at him, pulling him toward the familiar deep.
No, that name was wrong. Ed. Even as he thought it, he heard it in a soft, bright human voice. So friendly. So welcoming. Promising adventures and secrets.
And lies.
No, he wasn’t Ed.
Had never been Ed.
Ed had been a coat he’d put on to try and feel what it meant to be warm. An illusion.
And beneath it.
A monster not even a madman could love.
He gripped the stones of the lighthouse tighter, the glass room at its top shattering, its light sputtering out.
Somehow, in the end, wearing that coat, feeling Stede’s smile, speaking with him, walking beside him, had only showed him what it really meant to feel cold.
He was the Kraken. Had always been.
Would always be.
Until the latter fire should heat the deep.
His voice groaned low and wounded across the water, through the stones in his grip.
He hung there for a moment, caught between the two. Dwarfing the lighthouse completely but still so small before the will of the sea.
Then, he pulled back.
And pulled the lighthouse into the waves.
____~*~____
Notes:
Hello! Welcome to the second to last chapter. I hope you like it! I'll be posting the last chapter soon. Thank you guys so much for reading and chatting with me about this. This has been so fun and you are all so kind 😘
Chapter Text
His home was crumbling into the sea.
And Stede was surprised to find he couldn’t care in the slightest.
Stede was running, his truck abandoned along the road at the edge of the beach. The sand kicked up around him, shifting and doing its best to foul up his footing but Stede only stumbled to his knees once. The sand was wet and clinging with the irregular washing of churning waves. Cold against his skin and in his shoes. The sea disturbed by the obvious agony of the Kraken.
A wave came at him, taller than the rest. Stede planted his feet and turned as it slammed against him, soaking him to his belly, a sweeping shock of cold and blasting sand.
“Ed!” Stede called, his voice a small thing against Ed’s bellows, “Ed! I’m here!”
The water receded fast and tricky, pulling the sand from beneath Stede’s feet. Forcing him to stagger to keep him footing.
“Ed! Darling, what is wrong!”
But Ed could not hear him.
Stede called out a bit more but then finally, retreated up the beach a bit, to where the water was only mostly reaching. Then he sighed, and sat on the wet sand to watch Ed tear the lighthouse from the cliffs. Maybe Ed would calm down a bit once he’d got it out of his system.
Whatever had Ed so upset, they’d face it together. Once Ed had had a bit of a cuddle. He looked like he needed it.
It really was a lovely day. The breeze was a bit brisk and the water too cold for swimming but overall, quite charming.
And the view was certainly not to be missed.
Seeing Ed again, even raging like a tempest as he now was, felt like a balm on an ache Stede hadn’t realized he’d been developing while he’d been away.
Strange that Stede had only seen Ed like this once before but it was still enough to fill him back up with that warm glow he’d been missing.
He hoped Ed would be interested in that cuddle when he finished tearing down the lighthouse though. Stede had to admit he wanted to feel Ed’s warm skin against his own. Sometimes Ed’s body was filled with far too much energy for it.
Stede rested his arms atop his knees and sighed again. Honestly, he’d be delighted with the alternative option of one of Ed’s smiles or a joke. Oh, a laugh would be delightful.
Stede watched Ed a little more and finally shrugged off the haze of his imaginings to frown a bit.
Ed really did seem upset about something.
Perhaps Izzy said something cruel.
If that was the case, Stede had some firm words to say to him next time they saw one another.
By the time most of the lighthouse was in the water, Stede was decidedly worried. He’d even tried calling a few more times, nearly getting dragged under as he moved further into the frothing waves. Those low, keening sounds Ed was making were decidedly…troubling.
Forced to retreat back up the beach, Stede waited.
Was it possible Ed was grievously injured?
Once the lighthouse was completely dragged into the sea, Ed lay in the waves, an exhausted mass of flotsam. The lights in his skin flashed half heartedly as he was pushed back and forth by the water.
Stede stood, brows furrowed in worry and chest full of urgent questions.
“Ed?” He shouted, “What happened!”
Ed startled. Hard. Tentacles frothing the water as a huge orange eye turned to find Stede.
A beautiful, deep voice rumbled words Stede could not understand. Then, as if Ed was struggling to make the sounds in this form but adapting quickly, the sounds sharped into a voice like muttering thunder.
“You came back.”
Stede floundered at the disbelief in that voice, “I…well, of course!”
“No… Izzy told me. You left because I am a monster.”
Damn that cruel little creature.
“Well, I certainly did not!”
Ed shifted in the water a bit, obviously not convinced. Stede ached to touch him, but could not reach him.
With anything other than words,
“And a monster is not such a bad thing to be,” Stede said, “Look at you! You’re the most impossibly beautiful person I have ever seen. You are delightful, darling!”
Ed made a low noise that caused the surface of the water to visibly shudder.
“You mean that?”
“Ed, when I met you, you confessed to murder within the week. Did you really think I was going to turn you away once I found out you were a sea creature of legend?”
Ed made a sound like massive amounts of metal bending and warping, his limbs twisting in the gray water.
“Where did you go?” Ed finally asked, voice both impossibly deep and so very small.
Stede grinned despite his best efforts, “To my wife. To ask for money. To buy a boat. I thought we might… if you were interested…I thought I might take you up on that offer. To sail together.”
There was a pause where even the waves seemed to still, though they didn’t actually stop moving. Then the Kraken sank beneath the surface and the water rose.
Stede’s eyes widened as a wave rolled toward him. Not large but just large enough for him to wonder if he should attempt some more retreating.
But before Stede could do anything, the wave had already hit him, swallowed him, bowled him over along the sand.
He was on his back and gasping when it finally let him go, Ed’s long, warm body lying atop him, two human arms wrapping their way around Stede’s neck.
“That was-“
But Stede never got to finish saying what it might be because Ed’s smiling mouth was on his own, warm and salty and devastatingly soft.
The chill of the water was completely forgotten as Stede smiled back into the kiss and lifted his arms, slipping one around Ed’s waist and the other up into his wet mass of hair.
Ed kissed him confident and curious, his tongue entering Stede’s mouth when Stede’s lips parted to invite him. Then it receded so his teeth could teasingly close on Stede’s bottom lip, pulling a moan out of Stede. Ed’s chest hummed with a deep, contented sound in answer that was decidedly inhuman but all the sweeter for it.
Slowly, Ed pulled back from the kiss, eyes slipping open and glowing orange for a moment before settling into beautiful dark brown.
“Hello,” Stede said, brushing a hand over Ed’s cheek, “You feeling better?”
Ed’s smile was as gentle and amused as his laughter, though his voice might have been a little hoarse, “Yeah, mate, tip top.”
Stede hummed and brushed their noses together, bursting with more affection than he should be able to hold. He caught Ed’s lips again to ease the ache.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” Stede murmured against his mouth.
“I’m sorry I destroyed the house…and ate Lucius.”
Stede drew back sharp, “Ed!”
“Only a little bit!” Ed promised, “Well, no the house is…yeah. But Lucius is fine. Spat him back up right before I came up here. Izzy’s got him.”
“Izzy?” Stede echoed doubtfully.
Ed grinned, “Wasn’t happy about it.”
Stede scoffed, “Of course he wasn’t. When is Izzy less than miserable about anything.”
“Probably enjoyed me tearing down the lighthouse…”
Stede hummed and stroked his hand over Ed’s hair, charmed by the way it was finding its curls again as it dried, “Don’t worry about the house. Was a bit tired of it actually. Been thinking about traveling the world with this fantastic guy I met.”
“Oh yeah?” Ed replied, eyes closing under Stede’s petting, “That sounds nice. You deserve a getaway, mate.”
“Yeah?” Stede grinned.
He opened his eyes, and when he spoke, his voice was low, edged with the Kraken’s rumble, “Yeah.”
“Well,” Stede said, arching up for a little kiss, “I find I agree with you.”
Ed kissed him again and then lifted his head, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I would have but it was all a bit…improvised. I thought I would get back before you did. Then it could be a surprise. But things sort of dragged out longer than I planned.”
Ed blinked at that, then he rolled off of Stede into the sand beside him, taking his warmth with him. Stede watched him fling an arm over his eyes and sigh.
“You know,” Ed said, “I get that you’re not that familiar with humans and their technologies but there’s this thing they have. Called a letter, I think. Might come in handy in the future. If you plan on doing this again.”
Stede stomach sank then it was his turn to throw an arm over his eyes, “Fuck. Letters!”
But Ed was giggling beside him now and that drew laughter out of Stede in answer. Then Ed’s hands were on him again, Ed’s laughter pressing into Stede’s mouth like sunlight.
And it was all Stede could do to not drown in the joy of it.
Then Ed said, “By the way, how do you feel about nautical ecoterrorism.”
Stede had no choice but to climb on top of him immediately.
____~*~____
It was a lovely little island, little more than a pile of rocks and sand and the stubborn bits of salt grass that clung to it. Far from anything else and only here at all at the right time of the tide. According to Ed.
Stede sat on his beach chair, wrapped in his after swimming robe, the fabric fluffy and warming on his damp skin. He drank tea from a little thermos and felt the warmth of it roll through him.
His little ship was anchored out where Ed assured him it would not get stuck on the sand again. Its sails were tall and handsome, all nine of them. Its body freshly varnished.
Izzy had had a few things to say about a ship this size being run by three people, but they’d already been out for two days and hadn’t met with much trouble at all.
Of course, it helped to have a partner who could transform into a Kraken large enough to tug the ship around like a child’s toy. But they might need to see about picking up a crew somewhere.
For the authenticity of it.
And it would be nice to have someone around while Ed and Izzy were off scouting for a suitable ship to lure into deep waters.
Every time he thought of how he was in on their plans now, knew what they were about when they left, Stede smiled.
It felt good. To be included.
And it felt even better to be an integral part of the plan.
Someone needed to be the bait, after all.
A change in the tempo of the waves drew Stede’s attention and he saw Ed rise up out of the water, crest splaying wide at the back of his head. Mighty limbs rising up toward the clouds. Water sloughing off him in sheets.
Stede stared, the might and beauty of Ed’s Kraken form displayed to his best advantage for Stede and Stede alone, Ed’s large orange eyes watching for his reaction.
Then tentacles reached out to pluck Stede from his chair and lift him into the air.
Stede held onto his tea and gripped Ed’s wet skin, “Don’t forget my chair, darling.”
Another tentacle curled deftly about the chair in reply. Then Stede was being set on the deck of the ship as gently as a leaf coming to rest.
Water sloshed and the ship bucked as Ed sank back into the water. Stede waited and sipped his tea.
Suddenly, spry as a cat, Ed leapt out of the water, leather clad and grinning. He vaulted over the railing.
Somehow he managed to sneak a kiss to Stede’s lips in the midst of that maneuver without breaking anyone’s nose.
“Hello, love,” Ed said, eyes still glowing, feet finally planted on the deck.
Stede smiled and pressed a kiss to Ed’s cheek, “Hello.”
Another splash had Izzy on the deck a bit to their left, already growling in disgust at the both of them. His teeth were sharper than they’d been on the mainland, a silky pelt of black and gray fading like a mist at dawn. The webs between his fingers lingered.
“Are either of you feeling up to a bit of brunch?” Stede asked.
Izzy just mouthed the word brunch and headed down into the ship, deciding to ignore the both of them completely it seemed.
Ed laughed and reeled Stede in with an arm around his waist, “Will there be olives?”
Stede raised his chin to be kissed again and was not left wanting, “Of course, darling.”
Notes:
The end!
Or is it...
Thank you so much for reading! Please come and tell me if you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing it and have ideas for a Steddy Hands sequel if anyone is interested 😊 I’m also open for prompts and requests for that if you wanna stop by and tell me about them!
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