Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How did this happen, again?!

This was only the second day of the trip, and somehow Johnny was left alone in the mountainside ski lodge a second time. Everyone else had since scrambled out of the lodge, all going their separate ways to explore the town and mountains. It happened so quickly and was so perfectly timed that he wondered for a split moment that maybe it was staged. Maybe they would spring back in and surprise Johnny with some musical number.

The eerie silence that hung around for far too long knocked that idea out of Johnny’s mind.

Johnny double checked to make sure no one was hanging around in the living room. It was the largest room in the lodge and was basically just the same as one would expect it to look like. Of course, there was a large fireplace with a cobblestone mantle as the centerpiece. It wasn’t lit though – Mr. Moon’s troupe was visiting during the spring, and it was a balmy, breeze-filled day. There was no need for a fire right now, and it was no wonder everyone was so quick to get outside into nature after a long, dark, and cold winter. Cold by Calatonia standards, specifically.

Johnny walked up and inspected the mantle with thoughts of the prior winter floating through his mind. It had also been a busy season due to Mr. Moon starting yet another musical, this time featuring not one, but three big solos for Johnny. They were challenging ones too, featuring the extremes of his range and style. Johnny, of course, loved every minute he was allowed to sing on the stage. But being here and seeing pictures of previous visitors to the ski lodge (mostly during winter to… you know… ski) made him think about how crazy unique his life was and continues to be.

Only half a year ago, Johnny auditioned for Mr. Moon’s “competition” and barely slid in. Had it not been for Mr. Moon’s efficiency in casting and decision to not cast the giraffe due to the height difference, Johnny would have walked out the door back into his normal, unhappy life. Back to a life of robberies and high-speed car chases. And not to even mention how critical the choice was that sent his dad to jail – everything could have gone so differently. Hell, even he could have ended up in jail!

Johnny picked up one of the pictures, which was covered in a thin layer of dust. It held a black and white photo of a family of three sheep all dressed in ski gear, smiling in perpetuity. He sometimes wondered what it would be like to have had a normal family--

Johnny! Stop thinking that way! You’re lucky you have two proper families!

“Two wacky families…” Johnny whispered to himself as he replaced the photo. He stepped past the fireplace and looked through the large, narrow windows that made up the rest of the wall that the fireplace hugged. On the outside was the patio and hot tub, which overlooked one half of the town as it stretched out into the valley with tall snow-capped mountains rising on either side. The sun hung low -- it was still morning – and rested perfectly in the middle of the V-shape of the valley. It took Johnny’s breath away every time he looked out that way.

He pulled his eyes away and moved around the empty couches and recliners in the living room and walked toward the kitchen. If anyone was still there it would be Meena with her love for baking cakes and other treats. Alas, the kitchen sat empty. It looked like everyone went out to eat breakfast instead of cook. It was a vacation after all – even Meena would take a break from baking.

Johnny sat on a stool next to the kitchen island and rested his head in the palm of his hand.

Who did Meena leave with again? He tried recalling the mass exodus this morning. Meena was one of Johnny’s closest friends in the troupe. Well, all of them were his closest friends originally, but now the troupe has members from their time in Redshore City. It nearly tripled in size and even then, it was always fluctuating based on Mr. Moon’s casting needs.

Johnny remembered Meena saying something last night about going with Mr. Moon and Miss Crawly to try out this famous bakery in the town, so that’s probably where the trio was at. Mr. Moon called it, rather superfluously, a ‘world-renown boulangerie that Meena and the crazy old lizard would die for.’ The cast noticed that Mr. Moon loved to use the occasional French phrase in no warranted context. It happened particularly often in fancy restaurants, even if they weren’t based in francophone country cuisine.

Johnny blinked his eyes several times with his chin still in his palm, realizing he’d gone off on a tangent. He moved on to the rest of the cast.

“Rosita’s here with her husband and kids, so they were able to get their own lodge…” He started mumbling to himself while going down a mental checklist of his troupe. Gunter is God knows where – he always has so much energy. It’s part of what makes his dance routines so good, but when there is no musical outlet to burn it off...

Oh! He probably went hiking with Ash and some of the other cast!

Johnny wouldn’t be surprised if Gunter ended up being the first to make it to the top of the nearby mountain. He cracked a smile at the thought of the German pig wearing his performance leotard, starkly contrasting the ice and snow, dancing on the peak. Anyway, it would be a while before they returned.

So that leaves the Redshore City mates.

A lot of them probably went out to town together, and a good number of them had to get their own lodge anyway. Mr. Moon was always thinking of ways to get the groups to better integrate, but it still hasn’t quite gotten there. Group-bonding exercises and activities were common. The last exercise Mr. Moon had them do was a brief acting improv session with one person from Redshore and one person from the original cast. It started off well, but quickly fell apart when non-acting or non-performing members were thrown into the deep end. No harm done – at least it was funny to watch.

The two people Johnny was closest with were Nooshy and Ryan. Johnny offered Nooshy a position in their troupe after their show in Redshore city because she was the only one who could help him master a bit of tricky choreography – Kickenklober refused to suppress his ego to help Johnny, and Ryan was busy learning the choreography too.

Nooshy left the lodge this morning because she heard of some street performers that were apparently famous in town.

That makes sense.

Before Nooshy was a part of the show at Redshore City, she was a successful street performer of her own. At least, Johnny thought so. He only saw the one show that she performed when they first met. If he never met her, he probably would have been fired from the show for not being able to do the choreography. Sure, Mr. Moon would have thrown a big fuss to get him back, but Mr. Crystal was the most intimidating person on the set, and it probably wouldn’t have worked.

As for Ryan, he was the other lead dancer for the choreography in Redshore City. Of course, with him being Kickenklober’s best student, Ryan had no difficulty picking up the choreography. In fact, Johnny was always a little intimidated by Ryan in the beginning. The moment Johnny successfully pulled off the choreography for the first time though, Ryan was among the first to congratulate him. All the intimidation promptly disappeared, and now they’re decent friends. They still occasionally laugh about Kickenklober leaving Ryan in just his tank top and underwear after stealing his uniform and place in the show. The moment sort of softened Ryan for Johnny, because even the best of the best still can have something go wrong in showbiz.

Fortunately, Mr. Moon was totally willing to take Johnny’s recommendation to have Kickenklober’s students join the troupe for future shows. Kickenklober and Johnny talked after that show, and Kickenklober gave a genuine apology for the things he did to him. He even went one step further and apologized to his students for being so tough on them. Now, Nooshy and Kickenklober (and sometimes Gunter) work together to make sure everyone has a fair chance at learning the choreo and getting roles. It’s not perfect and there’s usually some tension between the two - Kickenklober’s teaching is very formal and traditional, and Nooshy’s is unorthodox - but tensions are improving.

Johnny sighed. He didn’t want to have to go out to town on his own. He already did that yesterday, and while it was a nice break from the noise of the troupe, it was lonely.

“Maybe I can just call dad…” he tapped the table with his fingers on one hand, subconsciously playing a tune from his piano piece in the last show. He lifted his head up from his palm and tried to cheer up (“There’s no time to be sad on a vacation,” He heard Rosita’s voice in his head. She was always the mom of the group and gave her best effort to cheer everyone up even when she herself was sad.) as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh,” Johnny saw that Ryan had texted him a couple minutes ago. I wonder what it’s about.

Ryan’s POV

Ryan grabbed his faded jean jacket off the hook by the door and put it on. It was warm enough for most animals to not need a jacket but being a Bengal tiger meant that his normal climate historically was hot and humid forests.

“Hey Dean and Sarah, let’s go! You know I need my morning coffee to function!” Ryan shouted to the upstairs overlook over the hustle and bustle of the other animals in the lodge. Dean and Sarah were Ryan’s oldest friends from Kickenklober’s school of dance, and now they all work together on Mr. Moon’s shows. In fact, they were his only friends for a while, until Mr. Moon’s troupe came to Redshore City. Sarah was a sociable arctic fox with white to silver fur, a great sense of fashion, and a natural proclivity to dance. Dean was a friendly Siberian husky with an artistic mind who sometimes ran into motivational problems.

Ryan was always super dedicated to dance and choreo and strived to be the best. Of course, in a field as competitive as showbiz, striving to be the best ends up making more enemies than friends. Ryan tended to keep to himself except for when he was with Dean and Sarah. The three of them clicked immediately as friends.

“Yeah, and you get all grumpy when you don’t get it. Trust me, we know,” Dean said with a playful frown as he and Sarah walked down the stairs and out the front entrance of the ski lodge. Sarah laughed and gave Ryan a pat on the shoulder as she passed him. He smiled and noticed that all the other troupe members were leaving at the same time out of other various entrances of the lodge.

Ryan double checked that he had the front door key and his phone and walked out. The wooden door clicked behind him. As he was heading to the stairs to get down to the driveway and the road to town, he noticed Johnny through the tall windows. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking around for a group to join, it seemed like. Johnny put his hand on his neck and frowned sheepishly. Ryan paused.

I should probably go get him.

As Ryan turned to head back inside, a horn honked, and his name was yelled.

“Hey, we’re gonna leave you behind! Hurry up!” Sarah had her arms crossed in the rental golf cart. She sat in the driver’s seat. Dean sat behind her singing to himself, air pods in his ears. Sarah had suggested a special coffee place the day before that is local only to this town, and Ryan, being the amateur coffee afficionado he is, excitedly agreed to go. Unfortunately, it happened to be on the other side of town, so they had to rent a golf cart (a common practice in certain tourism towns) to get there. They went yesterday morning but found out that it was such a popular tourist trap that lines always formed. By the time they got inside, the coffee supplies for the day had run out. That definitely made Ryan grumpy like Dean pointed out.

Ryan didn’t want to just leave Johnny alone – Ryan had plenty of solitary days on sets when Dean and Sarah weren’t there, and he knew it sucked. Especially with Kickenklober, who almost seemed to work him harder when he was alone. Kickenklober has improved though, since the Redshore city show.

It’s okay… It’s just for an hour, and I’ll come back and hang with him…

Only partially satisfied with that thought, Ryan huffed and turned back to the stairs to meet up with Dean and Sarah. He felt a little selfish. He sat next to Sarah, who immediately noticed his normally upbeat demeanor had soured.

“Hey, we’re getting coffee now. Don’t get all moody with us already!” She said sternly.

“I’m not moody because of coffee,” Ryan rolled his eyes. “I just don’t like leaving Johnny alone. This happened to him yesterday already and—”

“It’s okay!” Sarah shushed him and put the golf cart in drive. “He’ll be fine. Besides, just text him and ask what coffee he wants and then both of you will feel better.”

“Oh. That’s actually a good idea.” Ryan always thought of Sarah being the smartest one of the three of them. Where he usually tackled life with emotions, she used logic. Dean… well Dean just didn’t get bothered usually (hence the motivation issues). In fact, when Dean showed emotion, it was usually a very serious matter that Ryan and Sarah had to combine tactics to solve.

Ryan pulled out his phone and sent a text to Johnny.

Hey, I’m omw to get coffee. Lmk what your favorite kind is

He smiled and put his phone away. More satisfied with that option, he looked out to the town. The cart drove down the driveway and merged onto another road, falling into the regular traffic which was mixed with locals and tourists all going about their morning. Nature and society mingled well here. Ryan closed his eyes and took a deep breath of fresh, Spring air.

Sarah, noticing her idea worked, gave a playful punch on Ryan’s arm, disrupting his tranquility.

“Ow!” He rubbed his arm and leered at Sarah.

“Oh please, don’t act like that hurt.” Sarah smiled then paused. “It’s not normally like you to worry so much about someone else you just met.”

“I guess Mr. Moon’s troupe made me a better tiger.” He shrugged, still staring at her.

“Or maybe just Johnny…” She chimed in a singsong voice while not breaking her attention from the road.

Ryan’s cheeks began to warm, but this kind of suggestion wasn’t anything new. He turned back to watch the town and people pass by. Sarah has always questioned him about the people he talked to or choreographed with, trying to get into his dating life. It didn’t matter if the person was a guy or a girl - she would ask. She was like an older sister in that sense. It’s how she showed she cares, but it was also awkward and sometimes annoying. She justified the nagging with sayings like “dance isn’t the only thing to do in life” or “how can you be so talented and handsome and single?”

Sarah interrupted his thoughts “I don’t hear a no!”

Ryan sighed without looking back. “No. We’re just friends…”

Sarah hmphed and gave up on the nagging. Ryan was just glad to have fur hiding his blushing. Dean continued lightly singing and listening to music. He missed the whole exchange. Out of the three of them, Dean was the best singer but for some reason refused to sing on stage. Ryan thought that was completely normal until he met Johnny, who proved that one can sing, dance, and play the piano in one show.

Ryan hadn’t yet told Dean or Sarah this, but after meeting Johnny he started taking singing lessons on the side. It’s a move that can only make him more competitive in showbiz, but honestly, he just loved the idea of singing. Old Ryan would have done it to get more roles, new Ryan doesn’t know what he wants.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the coffee shop. As they suspected, there was a line, but they got there before it was crazy long. Sarah parked the cart, and the three exited and headed to stand in line. Sarah decided to cut her losses and not bring up dating again, so she started a conversation with Dean (who apprehensively removed his air pods – he was often just as much a recipient of the same playful nagging). Ryan stood quietly with his back against the façade of the shop. He felt his phone buzz and pulled it out.

Hey! I like a flat white w/ almond milk

Ryan replied to Johnny with a tiger smile emoji and a thumbs up. He put his phone away and spaced out, half listening to the chatter of patrons around him, staring at the panorama of distant mountains.

Flat white with almond milk was Ryan’s favorite coffee, too. He grinned.

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV

Ryan’s text made Johnny smile, but it was quickly replaced by a frown as he realized it meant Ryan knew he was left at the lodge alone.

How pathetic I must look being left alone twice now.

The embarrassment made Johnny get up quickly from the stool and head to his temporary bedroom. He would feel less alone in there at least, or at least he hoped. As he entered, he texted Nooshy to ask what she was doing and how the street performances were. She didn’t respond. Johnny defeatedly sat on his bed and pondered.

Should I just go home? Why stay here and be stuck inside? No, then I know people will wonder where I went. Or worse, they won’t even know I’m gone…

Exasperated, he laid down and stared at the ceiling.

At least Ryan and his friends would notice I’m gone.

Johnny thought about what he’s done in the past to burn off frustration. Obviously, his go to was to sing, but he was under orders from Mr. Moon to save his voice for the next show when they got back. He didn’t even feel like singing anyway. Growing up, whenever his dad snapped and yelled at him for doing something wrong, he’d try to get out and skateboard somewhere he could calm down. On rainy days, he would be stuck in the garage. Luckily, exercise was a great way to burn off energy and anger, and the garage had plenty of boxing equipment. While Johnny wasn’t as big and strong as his dad and the other gang members, he did enjoy punching the equipment.

Only issue is there wasn’t anything to punch here at the lodge that wouldn’t require paying to fix. At least, old Johnny would have thought like that. He decided that maybe the best, emotionally healthiest option was to go for a hike up the mountain closest to the lodge and burn off the frustration. Maybe he would run into Gunter or Ash or whoever on their way down the mountain and he could just join their group for the rest of the day. Besides, they wouldn’t mind, right?

The sun shining into his bedroom periodically faded and returned, a cyclic pattern indicative of puffy, bright cumulus clouds gently floating by on a warm breeze, occasionally blocking the sun. The temporary darkness distracted him, removing any immediate thought of Gunter and Ash from his mind. This toggling pattern of light and dark basically meant it was a beautiful Spring Day that he was slowly missing out on. Johnny sat up on his elbows to try to get a view of the sky through the window, but his abs ached dully. He laid back down and poked his stomach, flexing and relaxing his abs. He’s never had fully defined abs before, and they ached from the last time he worked out. Not that anyone could see them under his fur anyway.

Johnny noticed that he was more athletic since he started dancing and building up his stamina. He was also more flexible and nimble – at least, for a gorilla – and decided to add on a daily exercise routine. Sometimes he would jog or exercise with the other Redshore dancers, an idea that Mr. Moon wholeheartedly approved of. The last time he visited home, his dad even commented on how strong and toned Johnny was starting to look. He humbly played it off, but inside he felt a pang of pride since he was always smaller and shorter than other gorillas his age. Unfortunately, the improved stamina combined with his current frustration made him restless.

Taking long, deep breaths and centering himself, Johnny tried to meditate to stave off the restlessness. That was another skill the Redshore dancers and choreographers taught Johnny. It was crazy how different his life was compared to that of someone who came from a wealthy family, earned a good education, and paid for the finest teachers in showbiz. While not everyone from Redshore City fell into that description, it was a large percentage. When Johnny thought of his Calatonia friends and family, not even one came to mind as privileged in that way. If they were, they hid it well. Johnny didn’t mind because very few of the Redshore artists were pretentious, and they all liked Johnny anyway.

Maybe they just like a bloke with an accent. And maybe I should just get up and go outside instead of wasting the day!

Johnny didn’t realize how much time had passed in his thoughts. When he jumped out of bed and ran to quickly open the door, Ryan was on the other side halfway through a knock motion. He held a cup of coffee.

The sudden opening of the door startled Ryan, and Ryan being suddenly there startled Johnny. They both yelped and Ryan must have squeezed the coffee cup a little too hard because some of it came out and landed on his wrist, to which he yelped again. The coffee was still hot (since Ryan asked for it to be extra hot to get it back to Johnny at a reasonable temp, unbeknownst to Johnny), and Ryan switched the coffee to his other hand and started blowing on the burn.

“Oh my god. Ryan, I’m so sorry, mate! I didn’t even know you were back!”

Johnny carefully stepped around Ryan and ran to the kitchen to get a cold towel for him to compress on the burn. He passed Dean and Sarah, Ryan’s best friends, who looked like they were trying to hold in laughs. Clearly, they saw the whole thing unfold. He ignored them and grabbed a towel to run under the faucet. Ryan came to the kitchen and set Johnny’s coffee on the kitchen island next to his own coffee, which was half empty from the cart ride back. Johnny turned and handed the cool towel to Ryan, who thanked him and pressed it on his wrist.

“I’m really sorry again…” He put his hand on his neck.

“It’s really no big deal! I promise,” Ryan smiled, then turned to glare at his friends as they started snickering even harder. It didn’t work, and Dean and Sarah walked away laughing and went to their rooms.

They both leaned against the counter and paused. Johnny stared at the floor between his shoes. There was an awkward silence.

“…so, are you gonna drink your coffee?”

Johnny looked up and Ryan was looking at him with a soft expression.

“Oh… yeah, thanks again…”

“Might want to let it cool down a bit though. It’s pretty hot, I would know,” Ryan said, flourishing his burnt wrist in a shaking motion then laughing.

Johnny started laughing too and felt loads better, especially now that he wasn’t alone with his thoughts. He decided to go grab an ice cube from the freezer to put in his coffee to cool it down. Ryan gave a quick thumbs up and nod to indicate that he thought that was a good idea. Johnny stirred the coffee until the ice was completely melted, then took a sip. His eyes lit up when he tasted it, and Ryan must have notice.

“Oh yeah. It’s insanely good coffee. There’s always a line around the building to get it.” Ryan reached for his own coffee and took a sip. “It’s a shame that some of it spilled.” They both laughed again. Johnny didn’t want any more awkward pauses though, so he tried to keep the conversation going. He was worried that Ryan would leave if he got bored, and Johnny didn’t want to go back to his room again.

“How’s your wrist feeling?” Johnny eyed the towel.

“Oh, it’s feeling better thanks to your quick thinking.”

“What flavor did you get?” Johnny said as Ryan quickly finished his coffee off, since compressing a towel and drinking aren’t easily done together.

Johnny noticed that Ryan paused a little longer than normal before answering, looking down at the empty cup before turning his head to answer him with a smile.

“Just a regular black coffee.”

“I imagine even that tastes amazing.” Johnny thought nothing more of the delay.

They stood around the kitchen while Johnny finished off his coffee. He realized that this was the first time that they had a significant conversation outside of the theatre or dance studio. They continued to talk about stuff seen around town, what they imagined everyone else was doing right now, and other small talk topics. But to Johnny, it didn’t feel burdensome like small talk usually was.

Johnny checked his phone. It was about 1 pm now and Nooshy texted him back.

Dude! These performances are great! I’m going to see more so I’ll have to tell you when I get back.

“Who was that?” Ryan asked.

“It’s just Nooshy. She’s still exploring and checking out street performers, so I’ve been here alone all morning with nothing to do.”

“Well, Dean and Sarah have stuff to do on their own for the rest of the day, so I don’t have anything to do either,” Ryan said as he pulled out his own phone. Johnny saw him roll his eyes and put his phone away. “Besides, Sarah keeps making fun of me, so I don’t want to hang with her right now anyway. I kinda want to get out of the lodge.”

“Yeah, I’d like to get out of the lodge too,” Johnny paused and thought. “Well, neither of our cities have large mountains nearby, so maybe we can go for a hike? That’s what I was planning to do when I – uh, when we spooked each other.”

“Sounds good with me,” Ryan chuckled.

Ryan’s POV

Ryan did not expect the whole burn thing to happen, and he also didn’t want it to make things uncomfortable between the two of them. Ryan could tell that Johnny felt bad about it, so he tried to make him laugh. Thankfully it seemed to work as the worried expression faded from Johnny’s face.

Then Johnny went and asked about Ryan’s flavor of coffee which totally caught him off guard. He didn’t want to say that he got the same exact order as Johnny. Hell, Sarah gave him more pressure on the ride back when she overheard him order the same thing twice – Of course she would be witty enough to catch that even though she had no idea what Johnny texted him.

You two like the same coffee!? You’re already off to a great start! Imagine all the other things you two have in common…

“Just a regular black coffee.”

Ugh, he probably wouldn’t have even cared if I told him I got the same thing. Sarah is just getting in my head… I don’t even feel that way about Johnny… He definitely doesn’t feel that way about me. He probably associates me with Kickenklober and all that stress…

Ryan checked his phone after Johnny checked his, and he received a text from Sarah. It was three wink emojis in a row. Ryan rolled his eyes again – it seemed like Sarah was really making that a habit for him.

After deciding to go for a hike, they both went back to their rooms to get hiking gear ready and would meet up in 15 minutes. Ryan texted Sarah stop and made sure to not tell her that they were getting ready to go on a hike together. No need to fuel the fire that was Sarah.

He grabbed his nice brown faux leather backpack with brass buckle straps that he bought with the commission from the last show since he knew that hiking would likely happen for this trip. Checking inside, he saw a large water bottle, trail mix, a flashlight and other minor emergency supplies, some trail finding items like a compass, and a small pocketknife. He was clearly overprepared. The trail they decided on was rated blue circle (moderate) this time of the year and even took them fairly close to the peak. Of course, if they wanted to go to the peak, they’d have to wear snow boots and maybe even ice climbing gear as the trail switched to double black diamonds (extremely difficult).

He charged his phone for 5 minutes, put on hiking boots, and then headed to the living room to meet up with Johnny. Johnny was already there with his hiking gear and backpack, but still had on his classic black leather coat. He was sitting on one of the couches doing something on his phone.

“Hey! You ready?”

Johnny looked up and nodded.

“Yeah! Let’s go,” Johnny paused, then pulled out his phone again. “We should probably let someone know where we’re going, y’know, in case something happens. I’ll text Mr. Moon and Nooshy.”

“Good idea.”

Johnny sent the text and stood up, and they headed out the lodge toward the trail.

Chapter Text

4 hours later – Johnny’s POV

How did this happen?

How…

Johnny let out an exasperated whimper, a sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob. The worst had happened while on their hike. He clenched his fists and punched the ground.

___

They were about 2 hours into the hike, and it was going great. Johnny and Ryan were both in fantastic moods – a product of being in nature and endorphins from the moderate-intensity exercise. They were both lively, talking about the beauty of the forest and the mountain. The sunlight passed through the foliage of the upper tree canopy and danced its intricate dance on the forest floor. The trail itself was well worn and visible from the hundreds of hikers that came before them.

“Did you know that the pattern of light through leaves is called komorebi?” Ryan asked after a swig of his water bottle. “It’s Japanese – apparently there isn’t an equivalent word in English.”

“Oi, since when do you speak Japanese?” Johnny gave him a curious look but wasn’t surprised at all.

“I just know very basic phrases. Just for fun. To be honest though I don’t have much free time to get any better at speaking it.”

Johnny kicked a rock off the trail. It bounced and connected with another rock, and both proceeded to tumble down the slope before disappearing in the dense foliage. They continued steadily onward.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Between dance and piano lessons, I hardly have time for myself.” In fact, this trip was the first break they had gotten to even take outside of the brief downtime between shows.

“O-oh, not that I’m complaining about it! I love it!”

“Oh, trust me, I get it,” Ryan patted Johnny on the back. “If you need to vent or complain about showbiz, I will gladly listen, no judgement. Hell, I’ll probably even vent back to you. Lord knows Dean and Sarah are tired of my complaints.”

“Speaking of Dean and Sarah,” Johnny segued while making a mental note to take Ryan up on his offer to vent, “how did you guys meet?”

Ryan put his forefinger and thumb on his chin in thought.

“Well, we all started dance lessons around the same time, but Dean and Sarah were friends first. Sarah just has a way of becoming friends with everyone--” Ryan paused, then looked at Johnny in a suspicious way. Or was it panic? Clearly something was on his mind with that statement. Ryan continued.

“Now that I mention it, don’t be surprised if Sarah starts talking to you as if you’ve been friends this whole time.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” Johnny laughed, still not quite understanding what the issue was.

“Oh, for you it’s not! She’s a really cool person and an even cooler friend.”

“Then who is it bad for?” Johnny asked with a wide grin, then cordially elbowed Ryan when he ignored the question.

“Forget I even said anything!”

Johnny held up his hand and acted as if he was writing something on a notepad.

“Note to self: Ryan is jealous of Sarah’s friendship with me.” Johnny added a flourish for extra effect, closed the pretend notepad, and inserted it into his jacket pocket.

Ryan watched the whole charade, then laughed and playfully pushed Johnny away from him. He continued with his story.

“Anyway, Sarah did to me exactly what I warned you about. She came up to me one afternoon before rehearsal and we just hit it off. She just sat next to me while I was reviewing choreo and just started talking away. It wasn’t long before Dean followed, and he’s almost as social. They were my first friends from the school,” Ryan took another swig of water.

“I can relate to that. Mr. Moon’s singing competition brought all of us together. The whole theatre flood and collapse sort of fast-tracked and finalized our friendships. I guess going through a common shared struggle will do that to people.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about that on the news! I may have even seen you on the TV at one point. I never considered that I would become friends with you, but I’m glad I did. Isn’t life weird like that?”

Johnny nodded. He was glad too, and this hike completely refreshed his mood from earlier.

The trail reached a short plateau and rounded a bend. At the corner of the bend was a wide break in the trees where a mountain overlook area was. There were several picnic tables, pavilions, viewfinders, and groups of animals scattered throughout the area. There was even a group of cub scouts having a meeting under one of the pavilions, identifiable by their uniforms.

Johnny and Ryan decided to take a quick break and check out the view. The sun was still mostly overhead, and by now they were on the far side of the mountain about halfway up. Johnny made a mental note that they would have to start heading back soon to make sure there was still enough ambient sunlight to find their way back safely. Ryan was pointing out some cabins in the area, sparsely spread out in their own private stretches of mountain. He pulled his phone out to take some pictures.

“Hey, let’s grab a photo while the lighting is still good! Maybe one day we’ll become celebrities who could afford to live in one of those cabins.”

“You wanna live out in the forest, alone? Are you mental?” Johnny questioned jokingly as he posed next to Ryan.

“Hey, I’m a tiger –” He paused and snapped a selfie of them with the cabins in the background. “—I’m from the forest. A tropical one, but a forest none-the-less.”

___

He was trapped in murky darkness, settled on dirt and cold stone. There was no sign of Ryan nearby. Johnny hesitantly felt around to try and gather some sense of the area he landed. His hand bumped into a metal object and discovered Ryan’s phone, smashed and shattered beyond function. The photos they had taken were likely lost forever, but that wasn’t a concern now.

Somehow, at the height of their hike, there was an accident. Johnny tried remembering exactly what happened, but his mind was foggy. He must have hit his head hard in the fall. It was probably a concussion causing the fog.

There was another overlook higher up… Or was it the same one … No, there weren’t any other animals at this one…

The pair went to look over the edge to see how high up they were. All johnny remembered at that point was a thunderous crack followed by the ground shaking. By the time he knew he was falling, it was over.

Ironically, at this point all the pain and feeling rushed back to Johnny. He groaned, realizing the adrenaline probably was wearing off. He slowly inspected his body as best he could in the pitch black. Sore all over, but no sharp, distinct wounds. His head throbbed every small move he made. Slowly reaching behind, he put a hand on the back of his head. It came back sticky and wet.

Blood.

He knew it was blood, but there was no way to know how bad the actual injury was. Johnny looked around the dark space – there was a little ray of light shining in near the top. It seemed like a cave, but it was hard to tell how much was cave and how much was from the collapse above. There were rocks and tree branches strewn everywhere. It looked like the aftermath of a tornado.

Johnny slowly got to his knees then up on both feet, making sure that nothing was broken. He quickly checked his pockets and pulled out his phone. With a sigh of relief, Johnny realized it was still functional with only a small crack in the screen. He dialed the police, but the call never went through.

Damn! There’s no signal. He sulked.

The battery was at 25% - not great but not terrible. If he could find his backpack, then Johnny could use his portable charger. He hesitated, then turned on his phone flashlight, willing to sacrifice some charge if it meant finding the backpack.

The light illuminated the space well. It was a long, flat area of dark, brown stone, sort of wedged between two solid plates of rock running almost parallel vertically, almost if some giant creature took a knife and sliced a clean piece of the mountain off. It wasn’t a cave then. Looking up, Johnny finally understood that the ray of light was probably the way that he fell in through.

Wait, where’s Ryan?!

Johnny’s heart began to race again as he called out for Ryan. His quivering voice echoed but he heard no reply.

If Ryan’s phone made it down here, then Ryan probably did too. Right?

Johnny wasn’t so sure. He slowly walked toward the left side of the crevice where the two slices of stone converged back into one. There was nothing over there besides more debris. Dread began to creep deeply into his chest. He turned and slowly hobbled over to the far-right side, running his hand along the smooth wall. Halfway, he tripped over a large rock and fell to his hands and knees, dropping his phone in the process. The phone’s clatter echoed loudly over his own panicked shout.

Still down on his hands and knees, Johnny recovered his phone (still not broken, somehow) and shined it down at the rock.

It wasn’t a rock. It was a boot. With the realization, Johnny became dizzy and fell backward awkwardly into a sitting position. His arms, though wobbly, caught him in time to prevent him from falling completely on his back and smacking his head again. He squeezed his eyes closed, not wanting to think about anything anymore. The hefty fatigue associated with a concussion pulled dangerously at his mind, threatening him with permanent sleep. He knew that doctors warned people not to close their eyes for too long after a concussion, but he couldn’t think straight. The dizziness, adrenaline, and fatigue fought a three-way mental tug-of-war for a moment before he stabilized, and his thoughts became mostly coherent again.

It’s Ryan… He needs your help… COME ON!

Johnny worked up the courage to open his eyes and took a deep breath. Leaning forward, He shone the light on the foot and slowly traced it up the leg. It was still attached, and Ryan lay there face down under a small pile of dirt and rocks.

“R-Ryan!” Johnny got down on his knees next to Ryan and brushed the debris off him. There was a large gash on the side of Ryan’s face, but it wasn’t bleeding – The dirt clumped the wound shut. This was good for now, Johnny realized, as it meant Ryan wasn’t actively bleeding out. At least, not externally. It also meant a high likelihood of infection later…

Don’t worry about later. Just worry about now and getting help.

Johnny went to go turn Ryan over onto his back, but then paused.

What if he has a neck injury? Won’t turning him kill him?

Johnny took his hands off Ryan and inspected his back. His jean jacket was ruined, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Johnny could see the steady rise and fall of Ryan’s back.

He’s still breathing!

Still scared to move him, Johnny began tapping Ryan’s arm, first lightly then with increasing fervor to try to rouse him.

“Come on Ryan, Come on mate!” The fear began to escalate and brought tears to Johnny’s eyes.

“WAKE UP!” Johnny sobbed.

Ryan’s POV

Young Ryan was in his dad’s office, sitting in the fancy leather chair that was much too large for him. In fact, his legs didn’t even hang off the end of it. The office smelled of lavish cologne, the brand that his dad wore. He giggled and swiveled the chair around, imitating a pirouette that he just learned at his first dance lesson. His parents agreed to pay for the lessons if Ryan made a justified effort to keep at it even if he ended up not enjoying it. Of course, being a young kid, Ryan didn’t understand why adults made claims like that.

How could he NOT like dancing? He’s wanted to do it forever! It looked so easy and fun.

As he swiveled, Ryan watched the pictures and degrees fly by on the walls. They were all from his dad, who happened to be a majority shareholder of a successful financial company, or something. Little Ryan also didn’t really understand how someone could make money by giving advice about money. It’s just something to spend, that’s it.

The office door opened and a tall tiger in a fancy blue suit with a red tie walked in.

“Ryan, what have I told you about spinning in my chair,” The suave tiger came over and snatched him out of the chair. “Just for that, I’m going to have to tell Santa you’ve been naughty!” Only half-serious.

“Dad, Santa’s not reallll!” Ryan boldly stated between a big grin while hanging on to his dad’s arm.

“Oh dear. You’re not supposed to know that! You’re too smart for an 8-year-old, bub.” His dad smiled. Bub was his dad’s nickname for him. “Darn, Santa was the last line of defense for you, so I guess I’ll just have to tickle you until you behave!” Ryan’s dad started poking him in his side, which made him start giggling and squirming to be released. His dad finally put him back down on the ground after he was satisfied with how out of breath he made Ryan.

“Well, I’m glad someone likes and uses my office,” His dad walked towards the door. He was so busy travelling that he spent more time outside of the state than in the office. “Alright bub. Let’s go home and tell mom all about your lessons. She’s very excited to hear!”

“Okay!” Ryan gleefully skipped along with his dad to head towards the front entrance of the building. Ryan’s dad said goodbye to any co-workers they passed, and they all smiled and waved at Ryan. He loved the attention – his parents said that was a unique thing for a kid to like. Most other kids his age were very shy in the presence of adults, but not Ryan. It was always a fun day when he got to visit the office. The pair made it to the large atrium, where a grand chandelier hung as the defining centerpiece of the space. Ryan stared, wondering how someone was even able to install something so large that high up. It didn’t matter how many times he’s seen it, he always pointed it out to his dad with excitement.

Suddenly, before Ryan could point the chandelier out this time, a bunch of large animals wearing masks burst into the building. The large animals had knives and sacks and began yelling commands to his dad’s coworkers. There was an uproar as onlookers began to understand what was happening. Ryan stopped in his tracks in fear.

“Ryan! Stay behind me!” His dad walked up to him, and Ryan shuffled behind his dad’s legs, peering out shyly to watch. Okay, maybe he didn’t always love the attention.

People were screaming as the masked animals shouted for them to get down on the ground. Two of them went up to the front counter and began to hassle the secretary. A tall, mean-looking gorilla with a bunny mask looked in their direction and began approaching them. Ryan whimpered.

“Ryan, it’s going to be okay. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, bub.” Ryan’s dad remained planted as the gorilla came within a foot of his dad. He squeezed his dad’s leg harder.

“You. Give me your money!” The gorilla brandished a large steak knife and pointed it close to his dad’s throat. The gorilla had a very heavy British accent, Ryan noticed. His dad went to reach for his wallet, but the gorilla cut him off with a loud growl.

“No! Not your wallet. The big stuff!”

“Of course. I can take you to my office. I-I have a safe there.” His dad’s voice betrayed his fear. Ryan didn’t know his dad could ever get scared. To him, his dad was the bravest tiger of them all.

The gorilla made them turn and walk back to the office. His dad unlocked the door and led the gorilla to the safe that he kept in the back corner of his room. Ryan stood quietly with his back against the door of the office, breathing slowly while trying to control his fear.

“Open it,” The gorilla jabbed the knife in his dad’s direction.

“Okay,” His dad got down on his knees to turn the tumbler lock. After a moment of silence, the safe door clicked and swung open. His dad got up and backed up to him. The gorilla watched sinisterly, then bent over to place the money and other valuables into the bag.

While this was happening, Ryan’s dad slowly leaned over to reach under his desk. Ryan remembered his dad said to never ever touch that red button unless there was a serious emergency. Ryan clenched his jaw, realizing the gravity of what was going on. His dad pressed the button, but then his cufflink happened to get caught on the edge of the table. It made a loud clink!

The gorilla turned around. When he caught on to what was happening, he roared in anger and stood up, dropping the bag of money. Ryan’s dad put his hands up and backed up to the wall. The gorilla came over and put one hand around his dad’s throat. Ryan screamed and went to go punch the gorilla, but the gorilla shoved him to the floor with ease. The gorilla put the tip of the knife against his dad’s stomach, ready to be plunged in at any notice.

“What. Did. You. Do?” The gorilla asked through clenched teeth. A siren began to blast, echoing throughout the hallways. The gorilla became so startled that the reflex shoved the knife into his dad’s diaphragm. His dad gasped as his eyes went wide.

Ryan was too stunned to move or speak, and tears formed in his eyes. His hands were shaking, as were his dad’s. The gorilla took his large hand off his dad’s throat.

“Bub, I need you to go get help,” Ryan’s dad said softly as blood began to stain the inside of his mouth. He coughed, and the gorilla backed off with his mouth hanging wide open, clearly in shock from having accidentally stabbed someone. The gorilla broke out of his stupor and ran to the safe to grab the brown sack, then ran out of the office.

“…Dad?” Ryan approached as his dad slid down the wall, the knife still hanging in his diaphragm. It was clearly making it hard for his dad to breathe, and he began coughing up blood each breath he was able to get. Blood began to soak through the white dress shirt he had on underneath the blue suit. His dad didn’t respond.

Ryan looked around in increasing distress, then ran to the hall to see if there was anyone coming to help. He looked through heavy tears at the end of the hall and saw the gorilla still running away. The gorilla looked back, but the mask had fallen off.

He saw the face. It was…

Johnny’s??

That doesn’t make sense. He’s close to my age. I haven’t met Johnny yet…

The dream began to collapse and swirl into another as Ryan drifted between different worlds.

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV

Johnny did everything short of fully shaking Ryan to try to wake him, still worried about any potential neck injuries. At one desperate point he even pressed a sharp rock into Ryan’s hand and drew some blood, whispering to himself that Ryan would forgive him after if it meant saving his life.

He lost track of how long he kept trying, but it certainly felt like a half hour or more. He became out of breath and his vision began to blur – whether it was due to the concussion or the tears in his eyes or a combination of the two, he didn’t know. All he knew was that every decision was potentially life-or-death, a culmination of events either leading to their survival or demise. It felt like he was in a cruel chose your own adventure book, which were often written to deceptively trick the reader into the bad ending. The biggest difference was that he couldn’t go back to a previous chapter and pick again.

Everyone went back to pick again. Everyone always did.

Johnny laughed at the thought of how manipulative authors could be, especially to children. His laugh sounded borderline psychotic. The laugh echoed, and Johnny realized how tired he was. The laugh didn’t even sound like his - It was bitter and shrill. He double-checked that Ryan was still breathing. Satisfied with the rhythm and frequency of breaths, Johnny slowly stood up and looked towards the entrance of the space. It was dark now. The only source of light was his phone.

Oh crap! My phone battery!

It was at 7%. Potentially fatal mistake number one. Johnny should have turned his phone off while trying to wake Ryan, which is something that could have been attempted in the dark. A wave of cold terror pierced his chest.

“H-HELP! PLEASE, SOMEONE! WE’RE STUCK DOWN HERE!”

Johnny ignored the possibility that there was probably no one left on the mountain now that the sun was gone. Maybe a ranger or two would be checking the rest areas for any stray or loitering animals, but with how far they fell off the beaten path, the probability of rescue was low.

Johnny continued to scream, increasing the pitch of his voice because he knew that higher pitches traveled farther. He also began to throw rocks as hard as he could to maybe make some noise outside of the hole they fell in through. His phone’s light didn’t travel far enough to let him know if his efforts were successful, though. After several passing moments, Johnny’s voice was almost completely gone, shredded by screaming at a pitch and register his vocal cords weren’t used to.

Mr. Moon is gonna kill me for ruining my voice. If I don’t die here first.

Johnny’s phone buzzed. 5% now. He tried calling the cops again with the same outcome. Closing his eyes and gripping his phone against his forehead, he thought desperately of what else there was he could do. If any other member of the troupe was here with him, what would they do? None of them would give up, that’s for sure.

Johnny remembered that he never actually explored the whole space, since he tripped on Ryan’s boot and was interrupted. He shuffled over to Ryan’s right side and continued walking that way, looking intently at the ground for anything that could help them. As he approached what looked to be the corner of the space, he saw a pile of organic debris. Something metallic glinted within. Johnny held his breath as he reached inside to inspect it. It was cold, hard metal and it was attached to a soft, non-reflective material. He pulled and the object released.

It was his backpack! Johnny resumed breathing and held it up in the light. It was completely intact too! He laughed genuinely this time, and the expected echo was familiar and warm. Without hesitation, he opened one of the pockets and pulled out a spare phone charger battery pack. In one swift move, he plugged in his phone. A second passed, and the phone buzzed in confirmation that it was properly charging.

“Yes!” Johnny was so relieved that he didn’t care that the one-word exclamation burned in his throat, his vocal cords still raw.

Johnny closed the pocket and slid his backpack on his back. As long as the straps held up, there was no way he could lose the pack now. He bent back down into the pile to rummage for any more useful finds. Almost immediately next to the spot he founds his backpack was Ryan’s. Johnny wasn’t sure of what all Ryan packed, but it could only be useful. He strapped it onto his front since his own backpack was occupying his back. It smelled notably of high-quality faux leather mixed with dirt, but there was a subtle hint of coffee and… a pleasant aroma with a soft pine scent.

Johnny realized it was Ryan’s cologne, and his heart rate spiked. He didn’t understand why his heart beat faster with that revelation - It was probably excitement to finding both packs, which drastically increased their odds of survival. Right? Johnny also realized that he’s smelled the cologne before – it subconsciously lingered whenever he’s been around Ryan. The first time he consciously noticed the scent was when he ran around Ryan to treat his burn in the lodge. Johnny turned back toward the spot Ryan lay.

“Don’t worry mate. I’m gonna save us…”

Over the next half-hour, Johnny finished exploring the debris pile. When he was satisfied that he combed through all of it, he returned to Ryan and sat next to him. Breathing was mostly the same besides the occasional uncomfortably long pause. He returned his attention to the backpacks. He needed to get an idea of all the resources they had.

Johnny’s pack had a two-liter water bottle with about half of the water left, 4 large granola bars with protein (Gorillas need a lot of that), and other items that had no use at the moment. He ate half of a granola bar and had a couple sips of water. The water soothed and cooled his burning throat. Next, he went through Ryan’s pack. While opening it, Johnny apologized to Ryan for going through his stuff without permission. He knew Ryan wouldn’t care, but it preserved Johnny’s sanity to talk to someone other than himself.

There was trail mix and other snacks. Ryan packed water and even Gatorade, which would keep their sugar and electrolytes up. Johnny wasn’t sure how he would get Ryan to drink while unconscious and face down. Eventually, he was going to have to move Ryan if it came to it, but the time for that wasn’t here yet. Johnny also realized that eventually he was going to have to use the toilet. The thought was uncomfortable, so he pushed it out of his mind. His body would remind him if the time came.

Closing that part of Ryan’s pack, Johnny unzipped a small compartment on the side. There was something heavy inside, packed into a hard plastic shell. He pulled it out and inspected it in the light. There were red warnings written on the container, which was a bright orange. Johnny didn’t bother reading the warnings and popped the two tabs out as if it were a mini suitcase. It clicked open. He gasped and his eyes went wide.

It was a flare gun. Ryan was smart and prepared enough to pack a flare gun. Further inspection showed three rounds plus one currently in the chamber.

Johnny turned to Ryan. “Mate, you may have just saved us. Good on ya!”

He stood up with the flare gun and walked to the middle of the space. Luckily, his dad taught him how to fire a gun properly, so Johnny wasn’t worried about missing.

“We have four rounds total, so I could fire one now and then save the rest for later during the daytime.” Satisfied with that plan, Johnny took aim and squeezed the trigger. There was a satisfying pop as the flare whistled passed the hole. The kick of the gun was surprisingly strong, having to launch a projectile hundreds of meters into the air. Johnny hoped it would go high enough and make it through the canopy without hitting branches.

The flare exploded and lit up the part of sky that Johnny could see in a bright, deep red. It flickered with an ominous ‘komorebi’ onto the floor. He wasn’t sure how long the flare would last or how long it would take for someone to notice or even find them, so he sat back down next to Ryan. Ryan shivered, which made Johnny acutely aware of how cold it was getting without the sun. Without pause, Johnny removed his leather jacket and laid it over Ryan.

He needs it more than me…

Johnny yawned and pulled out the med kit from Ryan’s backpack. He was going to have to stay up a little longer in case someone came looking for them, so he might as well pass the time by tending to their wounds. He soaked a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol and pressed it on his head lac. Stinging pain erupted, but it was welcomed as it kept Johnny awake. In the background, the red light faded and stopped. Johnny continued working.

After patching up his head lac and Ryan’s gash as best as possible, Johnny put the med kit away and adjusted to go to sleep. It didn’t seem like anyone was coming, so he turned off his phone and light and hoped that Ryan would be okay through the night. Tomorrow, he would use the spare flashlight Ryan packed to save his phone battery. Johnny was so drained that as soon as his head rested on his backpack he drifted off.

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

Normally, one doesn’t remember their dreams or the transitions between them. The mind simply jumped from one scene to another, and very few were privy to the settings or plot upon waking. It was a veritable anterograde amnesia that no one could escape; Dreams faded almost instantly after they occurred. But occasionally, the mind catches the random stories in the form of memories and maybe, just maybe, one can glean lessons from them.

But no matter how hard Ryan tried to learn from them, the dreams just flew by in a random sprawl of nonsense or delirium. If they weren’t utterly random, then they were too literal. What use was a dream that was moment-by-moment an exact memory that he had already experienced? Why did he relive the traumatic moment when his dad was stabbed by a burglar?

After that dream - more a memory, really – he dreamt that he was free-falling through galaxies at the speed of light while simultaneously shrinking down to the size of atoms. The point of view was entirely from the third person. Once he was able to dance between the water molecules of an ocean on an alien planet of one of the galaxies, he suddenly was in an empty all-white room. The transition made him dizzy, and his face throbbed as if there was a gash there that he couldn’t see. He was sitting on the floor, and the room was illuminated by a single flickering fluorescent bulb. It hung by a single wire and swung sluggishly back and forth. His shadow didn’t follow appropriately with the light. Instead, it sat arrogantly still. The lightbulb flickered and went out entirely, and the darkness swallowed his shadow.

What was the meaning!?

The shadow morphed into the vastness of the night sky and became dotted with stars. He was standing in a flat field of grass that stretched infinitely in all directions. The stars twinkled in such beauty that Ryan felt immense peace and awe. His breathing slowed, and a gentle breeze wove its way through the grass. Either Ryan had perfect night vision, or the starlight held such amplitude that each deep-green blade was perfectly illuminated. The illumination reminded him of when he and his older siblings would play outside during the full moon as children, his parents still insisting that they use flashlights.

He could sense something behind him, beckoning to him. Ryan turned and saw a white door. The door opened and inside was pure white light – the light drowned out the stars. He stepped toward the doorway and decided that he needed to walk into the light. The metaphor wasn’t lost on him – he knew what walking toward the light symbolized. As he was about to step through the doorway, a sharp pain stabbed at his hand. He gasped and pulled it up to inspect. There was a slight cut that formed, and when he looked back up, the doorway was gone.

The peaceful air fouled as all the stars blinked away, the grass browning and decaying. Suddenly the sun dawned, and the ground turned into asphalt. The open field was replaced by suburban sprawl as buildings and large skyscrapers erupted from the ground. Again, the transition was dizzying, and Ryan felt as though he was trapped in the matrix or some simulation. When the buildings finished growing, vehicles and people were deposited from the sky. They began moving and Ryan was left standing on a busy sidewalk, weaving through the crowds.

It took Ryan bumping into another person to realize that all the people were him. Every other person was a Ryan living a completely different life, wearing different clothes, doing their own thing. There were Ryans driving cars and trucks, Ryans exercising, talking on the phone, drinking coffee at a café. There were young and old Ryans too. He even saw two Ryans holding hands, which was somehow the most bizarre thing he witnessed here. When he took all this in, all the other Ryans stopped instantly and turned to stare at him as if he just uncovered their secret. The sounds of the city silenced as even the cars stopped moving. The Ryan he bumped into walked up to him and held out his hand. In it was a cartoonishly large red button with the words ‘Do Not Push’ written.

Ryan asked the other one what would happen if he pressed the button, and of course there was no answer. So, he pressed it and waited for something to pop out or explode. Nothing happened, and all the other Ryans began moving and driving again. The Ryan with the button thanked him and walked away. Ryans continued exercising, talking on the phone, drinking coffee at a café.

Ryan didn’t know what he was supposed to gain from this dream, the dream with his dad, or any others. He also didn’t know that he could be frustrated of his dreams while they were still happening. He must not have been sleeping like normal and it felt like he was having a continuous out of body experience. His face throbbed again, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach up to touch it. His whole body ached in pain and almost reminded Ryan of what was happening.

Oh right. I was with Johnny. Then something bad happened…

This revelation suddenly prompted his mind to jump dreams again, as if to keep him distracted. Almost as if his own mind didn’t want him to wake up. Perhaps he was safer in his dreams instead of in real life. The skyscrapers and other Ryans blinked out of existence. He was still frustrated, so he dreamt that he stood up to his childhood bully by punching him in the face.

Take that, Jake!

The large bully was felled as Ryan’s classmates swarmed him in triumph. He smiled proudly, suddenly forgetting the aches and pains and lucidity. Johnny faded away from his thoughts as his classmates picked him up and paraded him around the playground. It made Ryan laugh, especially when he realized that he was back at the same height he was in elementary school when he first had a bully.

His childhood bully was a mean lion who thought that lions were better than cheetahs and tigers and any other large cats. Only this bully was drastically larger than his real-life counterpart, exaggerated by the dream. Of course, when Ryan stood up to the bully in real life he ended up with a black eye and a trip to the office. It felt good to finally take the lion down. The lion got up and ran away crying, now a very small size compared to normal. Ryan was the king of the jungle gym now!

A muffled bang went off somewhere overhead and the scene transitioned again. Silence replaced the cheers as Ryan fell onto his back. His classmates dropped him into… snow? They began to circle him in an endless crowd stretching infinitely to the horizon. A cold, harsh breeze picked up and whipped powdered snow into his eyes. His eyes stung and teared up, but Ryan noticed that none of his classmates were bothered. Instead, their unblinking eyes glowed a deep, ominous red.

Komorebi…

That’s what their eyes looked like! But instead of feeling at peace, which was how the pattern was normally supposed to make one feel, Ryan felt terror. His classmates seemed to sense his fear too, because they began to slowly approach and swarm him. They surrounded him completely and began to scratch and pull and his body, his fur. Ryan tried to scream, but suddenly he had no mouth. It was crudely stitched shut with twine. He tried to thrash and get his rogue classmates away from him, but there were too many of them. He curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut but tears still poured out. His classmates began laughing in a maniacal cacophony that drowned out his panicked breaths. The whole nightmare seemed to go on forever, and his skin felt raw as his fur was pulled out forcefully by dozens of tiny paws. Blood began to seep into the snow.

“Oi, since when do you speak Japanese?”

The friendly voice pierced the roar of laughter, and suddenly it was quiet. Ryan, still crying, slowly uncurled from his fetal position, and hesitated to open his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

The voice was serene and friendly. It was also familiar, so Ryan trusted it and opened his eyes. He looked at his arms and legs, and all his fur was there. There were no scratches or bruises or any signs of trauma. With a quick palpatory inspection of his mouth, he felt no twine. He gasped, and tears ran down his face harder, but this time with relief.

Suddenly, a hand appeared in front of him. Ryan looked up, squinting with the sun in the blue sky. The body that the hand belonged to stepped in front of the sun to shield Ryan.

It was Johnny, holding out his hand to help Ryan up out of the snow. There was a big grin on his face. Ryan smiled, wiped his eyes, and grabbed Johnny’s hand. When he was pulled up, he was suddenly back to his full adult size and out of elementary purgatory. His face no longer throbbed, but he was still feeling the cold breeze on his body, made sensitive by the faux pain from earlier. Ryan shivered, and without hesitation Johnny took off his leather jacket and handed it to Ryan.

“Here. You need it more than me.”

Ryan took the jacket and thanked Johnny, still half in disbelief that Johnny was here. He put the jacket on and felt immediately warmer. In fact, he thought he could almost smell the leather.

“What about you? Aren’t you cold?”

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a dream after all.”

“Oh, right.”

“So, your childhood bully was a lion? I had a childhood bully too.” Johnny began walking, and Ryan followed.

“Who was your bully?” Ryan was intrigued by this conversation.

Johnny laughed. “You’ll have to ask me when you wake up, mate.”

“Sorry! I keep forgetting I’m dreaming.”

They walked for a bit, still conversing about half-truths since there was only so much his mind could fill in about Johnny’s life before they met. Eventually, they walked up to the entrance of Mr. Crystal’s entertainment building. Ryan didn’t even notice the transition to Redshore City, but it felt comforting to be back. They entered the building, and Johnny led Ryan back to the choreo room - the room where they first met. This Johnny though, was much more confident in demeanor than the Johnny he first met.

As if on cue, the room filled with all the dance students and Kickenklober. They were sort of faded, ethereal, and transparent like ghosts. Ryan and the confident Johnny watched their old selves run through the choreo from their first show, a dance battle on the planet of war. The final move involved using a bamboo stick and one’s feet to hold oneself off the ground balanced at an angle while simultaneously swinging another stick at the opposite dancer. The choreo was tricky even for Ryan, though it may not have seemed like it to Johnny. The old Johnny fell and fell again, continuously worn down by the berating of Kickenklober. Eventually, Kickenklober was satisfied with the damage and ended class. The old Johnny ran out the door, passing through Ryan as he did so. It made Ryan feel sad, angry, and defeated, as if he could feel what the old Johnny felt in that moment. Ryan looked at his old self, who watched Johnny run out the door with a frown.

What a realistic dream!

To this day, Ryan regretted not following Johnny to help him or not sticking up to Kickenklober. He looked over to the dream Johnny.

“I’m sorry for not defending you. I was scared Kickenklober would punish me by giving the role to someone else. It was selfish of me.”

“It’s okay, mate. The experience was one of many that made me who I am today. Besides, I needed it to happen this way to meet Nooshy.”

“I guess that’s true.” Ryan didn’t feel any better.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost done here,” Johnny smiled.

“…What does that mean?” It seemed his own mind loved to play mind games on itself.

Again, there was a transition. Johnny’s mood and demeanor changed – his eyes glassed over, and his smile straightened out to nothing. The setting changed and all the dancers disappeared. The scene morphed to the same room from earlier. The same eerie lightbulb hung overhead. There were three differences this time: Johnny was here, Ryan still had on Johnny’s jacket, and there was a large stand-up mirror hanging on the wall in front of them.

Ryan stepped in front of the mirror and inspected his reflection. What he saw made his face drain. He was seeing himself in the reflection, yes, but the image was not mirroring him. Instead, the Ryan he saw was missing eyes. Where his eyes should have been were deep, black pits. Ryan could only look at them for a moment before breaking eye contact. The Ryan in the mirror was also wearing a black suit and had his arms crossed over his chest.

“Do you understand, Ryan?” Johnny spoke almost robotically, startling Ryan.

“Wh-what? N-no! I don’t understand!” Ryan spat in irritation.

It’s just a dumb dream!

“No! It’s not a dream!” Johnny exclaimed, seemingly hearing Ryan’s thoughts. When Ryan didn’t respond, Johnny changed back into his usual, fun, happy-go-lucky cockney self and chuckled.

“Well, you’re right, mate. It is just a dream.” Johnny became robotic and mysterious again. “But you need to look past yourself. Try again.”

Ryan was unsettled by the smooth transitions between the two Johnnys but decided to trust them both. If there was one thing he hoped his mind wouldn’t do, it would be to corrupt his image of Johnny. This experience was unpleasant, but it didn’t feel quite like a nightmare. He held on to hope that both Johnnys were actually trying to help him.

Ryan took another look in the mirror. He inspected his reflection to see if there was a clue in what was or wasn’t present. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary besides his missing eyes and suit.

Look past yourself

The words invaded his mind. The alternate Johnny’s stare was intense but not maleficent, trying to goad him down the right path. Ryan decided his body wasn’t the thing he was supposed to be looking at, so he looked behind it. There was a faint sort of shiny cream fabric outlining his body. It seemed fluffy and pillowy at the same time, like silk. A rectangular shape boxed the exterior of the silk. It was made of a dark wood, and on one side were brass hinges.

“It’s… a coffin…” Ryan’s breath hitched. He looked to the alternate Johnny for confirmation, but he didn’t give one. Instead, he offered a piece of advice.

“You need to wake up. Or you will die.” Or was it a threat?

“But how!? I’m knocked out!” The memories of the hike and fall were suddenly clear and accessible, and the pieces fit together. Ryan realized this was probably his subconscious trying to get him to wake up for real. He knew that the longer someone was comatose, the worse their chances became of waking up. Even if they did wake up, there were often irreversible mental deficits.

“If you don’t, the other Johnny, the real Johnny may very well perish too.”

“But… but you’re literally in my mind! I understand now! Why can’t you wake me up?!” Exasperated, Ryan looked back to the mirror then to Johnny. Only, Johnny was gone. Ryan whimpered.

“N-no. Please come back. I need you…” Ryan never knew he could say something so unadulteratedly desperate. Being alone was by far the scariest thing to happen to him in these dreams.

Ryan’s reflection stared in judgement quite effectively, despite having no eyes. He clenched his fists and stared back, suddenly filled with determination. The mirror taunted him. Ryan looked for more clues and was about to give up when something glinted in the mirror. It was a cufflink, on his suit near his wrists. Ryan looked closer and realized they were his dad’s cufflinks – the same ones that gave away his dad’s motive during the robbery when he went to press the button to alert the cops. Ryan didn’t know if that was supposed to be some sort of metaphor or cruel irony, but before he could ponder further something else caught his eye.

In the palm of his hand was a small rock. Just an ordinary rock, but upon its discovery the mirror Ryan clenched his hand completely around it. Ryan himself felt a dull pressure in his own corresponding hand. He looked down and saw that he was clenching his fist too. Holding up his hand revealed the very same rock.

What… do I do with this?

Ryan locked eyes with his mirror image. The taunting pressure was magnitudes more intense. This time, Ryan actively felt threatened by it, as if it would reach out and choke him dead right then and there. His fight or flight response triggered harder than it had ever done before, and without thinking, he reflexively threw the rock as hard as he could. It was the only thing he could protect himself with. The mirror shattered violently, and he shielded his eyes from the shards.

When the falling glass silenced, Ryan opened his eyes. The light was blinding and blurred his vision. He blinked a few times before his vision focused, and he seemed to be staring at the ground. He groaned in pain, then looked to his left. Sitting next to him was Johnny, who had an immensely worried expression on his face. There was a hint of relief intermingled underneath.

“Ryan? Are you awake?” Johnny whispered.

Ryan closed his eyes briefly and smiled, then muttered a soft but celebratory ‘Yeah.’ He was definitely awake – this all felt solid and real. The dreams were already undergoing their compulsory fading. The aches? They did the opposite

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV

The absolute elation Johnny felt when Ryan spoke for the first time since before the accident was nearly manic. Yes, there were still plenty of roadblocks ahead, but at least he didn’t watch his friend die. He wouldn’t have to explain to the police what happened or live with survivor’s guilt for the rest of his life. The first thought that crossed Johnny’s mind after the long, bleak night (exacerbated by a delay in the rise of the sun since they were surrounded by tall mountains while in a hole in the ground) was rather macabre: How would Johnny tell Ryan’s parents that he was dead? It didn’t matter that the police would probably shoulder that responsibility – Johnny felt responsible.

Thankfully the ambient temperature had warmed sometime overnight, and Johnny didn’t wake up half frozen without his jacket. He opened his pack, ate the other half of the protein bar, then rested his head against the wall. It was time to gruelingly decide what he would do today.

Time to resume the choose your own adventure book…

In the midst of planning the next few hours, Johnny heard Ryan rustling and shifting. He would look over at Ryan every few minutes in anticipation, forgetting his plans. Rinse and repeat. He felt like a kid checking the clock every 30 seconds to see when the school day was over, causing him to not get any work done. It didn’t take long for Ryan to wake once the movements started happening, but it felt like hours to Johnny.

“Easy, mate. You’ve been out for half a day,” Johnny spoke hoarsely while giving Ryan a hand to get off the ground. Ryan groaned and winced every time he put pressure on a bruise or cut, but he eventually made it to a sitting position next to Johnny. After taking a second to catch his breath while inspecting the space they were trapped in, Ryan looked over at Johnny.

“What the heck did you do to your voice?”

Johnny chuckled incredulously. “We’re trapped in a hole in the ground and the first thing you ask about is my voice?” To be honest, Johnny forgot that he tore up his voice from screaming. He wasn’t exactly using it until now. Johnny pulled out his water bottle and handed it over to Ryan before he could explain. After a few rather large gulps, Ryan wiped his mouth.

“Mr. Moon isn’t gonna be happy that his best male singer can’t uh, you know, sing.” There was a sly smile on Ryan’s face. Johnny glared.

Does that matter right now!?

If Ryan wasn’t already injured, Johnny probably would have punched him on the arm. Hard. But Ryan winked and he finally caught on that Ryan was trying to make him feel better by being facetious. Johnny probably still had a very concerned look on his face. His glare relaxed and he smiled back to Ryan, adjusting his demeanor.

“Well, at least I didn’t ruin my handsome face like yours,” Johnny retorted, pointing out the gash that seemed to be improving after he treated it. At least, improving for now.

“Ah. So, you think I’m handsome, huh?”

Johnny froze wide-eyed and began to blush. That unintentionally came off way flirtier than he intended, and Ryan threw it right back at him. They could both die down here and those could be their last words. Johnny experiencing worry, anger, and embarrassment in the span of a minute was not something he was used to. Luckily, Ryan didn’t seem to notice and began to gingerly trace the gash along his face.

“Damn. It’ll probably leave a scar,” Ryan sounded very tired suddenly, no longer trying to hide the stress they were both experiencing. He looked at Johnny and handed back his leather jacket. Before Johnny could deny, Ryan was up on his feet looking around the space. With his back to Johnny, he craned his head up to the exit. Johnny put his jacket back on.

“So, catch me up. What have you tried so far?”

“W-well, I found both of our backpacks and checked our resources. We can ration our food for now. I also found a flare gun in your backpack,” Johnny stood up and carried the backpacks to where Ryan stood. “I shot one off last night, so we have three rounds left. I figure the longer we’re gone, the more people will be looking for us. Someone’s bound to see a flare eventually.”

“Cellphones?” Ryan took his backpack from Johnny and peeked inside.

“Yours is smashed. Mine works but there isn’t a signal. I’m saving the battery for now.”

Ryan didn’t bother asking if there was a potential exit. Johnny continued rambling and explaining everything he knew, not willing to risk forgetting a detail lest it end up saving them. When he finished, Ryan had an intense look of determination.

“Great. You did great, Johnny. I’m sorry you had to do it alone, but I’m here now and I’ll be damned if we don’t get out of here alive.” Ryan held out his fist.

The words of affirmation resonated with Johnny – He straightened his posture slightly, feeling some of the weight lift from his shoulders. Johnny nodded, now matching Ryan’s determination. After all, hope and morale could be the deciding factor between life and death. He took a deep breath and released, then returned Ryan’s fist bump.

We can do this!

--------

Over the next hour, they made plans to extend and maximize survivability. Ryan and Johnny did one final check of the space to make sure they absolutely didn’t miss an exit. Ryan also did some math and made an official ration guide for the food and water, which he recorded in his small journal. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how one looked at it), the body could go several days without food. They were going to have to stop eating for now. Only when the hunger became unbearable, or they felt like they were going to pass out from low blood sugar, were they allowed to eat a couple bites.

Water was much more important. When it began raining in the afternoon, Johnny had the quick intuition to consolidate all the water into the larger bottle, leaving the small one as a reservoir to collect rainwater. There was a steady stream flowing down from the center of the hole, and it filled up the empty bottle quickly. Neither of them bothered mentioning that the water could be dirty. They also ignored the possibility that, if the rain came down hard enough, the space could flood. The extra water alone was a massive win in their eyes.

They would test for signal on the phone at least hourly. They would also take turns screaming for help, trying to minimize the damage to their vocal cords. With the rain, they decided to save the flares for tomorrow. Inclement weather meant less people on the mountain and a lower chance of the flare being seen. The rain brought with it a cold front that night, and so Ryan and Johnny decided to attempt to make a fire out of the detritus scattered everywhere. They collected a decent amount and constructed a small stack in an area that was still dry and sheltered from the rain. Ryan had a Firestarter that Johnny missed. There was an unspoken concern that the wood would be too wet to light, but after a few attempts, the sparks caught and spread. They had fire!

The scent of burning wood and petrichor reminded Johnny of a faint memory. So faint, in fact, that he was only able to make out bits and pieces of it. It was an image of his dad building and attempting to light a fire, hoping that the rain would stay away long enough to get it to catch. Johnny was standing behind his dad, looking over his shoulder. He must have been very young because this was hard to do due to his short height, but every time he tried to inch closer his dad told him to back away from the fire. When the fire lit well enough to sustain itself, his dad turned around and cheered. Seeing his dad smile so genuinely made him smile, both in the memory and in the current moment. They must have been on a camping trip or something, back before his dad became obsessed with pulling off heists. The memory ended there, with the image of his dad smiling to him seemingly frozen like a picture. A bittersweet feeling spread in Johnny’s gut, replaced by sadness when he realized his dad rarely smiled like that anymore.

The second evening went much smoother for Johnny, and he wasn’t as exhausted as he was the first night. The pair decided to stay up and watch the fire in case someone saw the light and came for them. Johnny listened as Ryan told him about his dreams, or what he could still remember.

“I mostly remember them being disorienting. They kept changing, like I was delirious or something.”

“Were they nightmares?” Johnny was genuinely curious.

“Well, yes and no. Some of them scared the hell out of me, but some were peaceful.”

“Who was in them?”

“Well, you were there, and so was my dad. I also think there was one about my elementary school bully…”

“I had a bully once. It was this nasty sheep. My dad helped me stand up for myself though, so it didn’t last long.”

“Oh yeah, I meant to ask you about that. The you in my dreams told me to.”

“Really? Well did I give you any useful advice on how to get out of here? Subliminal messages?”

“If you did, I don’t remember them now,” Ryan shrugged. “I also remember I was about to go someplace… off-limits. It felt, I don’t know. Bizarre? But something stopped me just in time.”

Ryan held his hand up and inspected the cut that Johnny gave him earlier, unbeknownst to him. Ryan dropped his arm and added another branch to the fire. Sparks flew up into the air and moved in their delicate pattern until they either blinked out or disappeared out the entrance. Johnny watched, noticing that the same fate would become of them – either they would escape or blink out down here. He didn’t let it bother him.

“There was also this whole mirror dream. Like I had to break the mirror to wake up. My reflection was me, dead in a coffin. At some point though my mirror image squeezed a rock in his hand, and when I looked down at my hand, I also had a rock. I used it to shatter the mirror.”

“WHAT!?” Johnny shouted and started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Ryan, that’s literally the plot of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. You know, the mirror of esired and Voldemort on Quirrell and all? Harry’s reflection holding the stone. Oi, your dream just plagiarized that whole scene!” Johnny couldn’t stop laughing – this was definitely the highlight of the night.

“Oh my God. You’re right!” Ryan started laughing too once it dawned on him. “I thought I subconsciously came up with that dream all on my own.”

“No such luck,” Johnny snickered.

“But wait, isn’t it called the Sorcerer’s stone?”

Johnny explained the difference between the two titles, Philosopher’s Stone being the British title and Sorcerer’s Stone being the American one. For one minute, Johnny completely forgot that he was trapped. Ryan seemed more at ease too, and he yawned and stretched his arms. Johnny yawned in response. After a period of silence, a brief respite during which they enjoyed the radiating warmth of the small fire, they both agreed to get some sleep. Hopefully tomorrow would be the last day.

Johnny’s POV continued – Day 3

Johnny woke with a stretch as he sat up from the ground. There was a split second of amnesia before his mind caught up and he remembered he was trapped. The pains in his back from sleeping on cold, hard stone brought his mind to the present. The fire was out, and a slight gust blew the ashes past his feet toward the corner where he originally found their backpacks. The gust made Johnny shiver, and he pulled his jacket tightly around his torso. Warm coffee and breakfast sounded great right now – his stomach rumbled in agreement. He could probably even eat the whole giant volcano smoothie with chocolate lava that Nooshy ordered all that time ago.

Johnny looked over at Ryan, who was already awake, studying something in his journal. There was a dour focus on his face, and he clearly didn’t see Johnny wake up. Johnny stood and approached Ryan.

“Good morning,” Johnny sat next to Ryan, trying to really believe that there was anything good about their situation.

“Morning,” Ryan responded quietly, twirling his pen between his fingers. Johnny thought that Ryan seemed a little restless.

“How long have you been up?”

“Maybe an hour or so,” Ryan stopped fiddling with his pen and raised his paw to his face, still skimming his journal. “My cheek was really hurting, and I couldn’t really sleep well. I figured I’d try to plan or brainstorm, think of anything that we forgot about.”

Johnny leaned over and grabbed the med kit from his backpack while Ryan was talking. He opened it and pulled out some OTC painkillers and handed them to Ryan.

“Any luck? Good ideas? Hail Mary’s?” Johnny handed a water bottle to Ryan, who swallowed the pills after a quick inspection.

“No. I gave up and decided to just write something else,” Ryan hesitated, then closed his journal. “Thanks for the medicine.” There wasn’t any apparent gratitude in the statement.

“Well, what did you write?”

Ryan sighed sadly, not once making eye contact with Johnny.

“…I wrote a goodbye note. In case we don’t get found.”

That hit Johnny like a brick wall. He looked away from Ryan and stared blankly at the ground. Ryan’s words echoed in his mind.

Is Ryan… giving up?

But Johnny didn’t have time to question when Ryan put his paw on Johnny’s shoulder.

“Hey. Look at me. Forget about the note,” Ryan kneeled in front of Johnny and leaned in, the uncomfortably close eye contact temporarily breaking Johnny out of his funk. “We still have three flares left, a decent amount of food and water, and a huge cast of friends who would do anything to find us. We’re gonna get out of here.”

Johnny knew that Ryan’s eyes were green, but he could pick up much smaller, more elaborate details being this close. Ryan’s eyes had many shades of green intermixed, and it was like looking into a black-eyed emerald gemstone with many beautiful geometric angles and cuts. He must have been staring a little too long because Ryan grabbed his other shoulder and gently shook him.

“Hello? Did I break you?” Ryan let go and reached over to his journal, flipping to the most recent page. “If it really upsets you that much, I can burn the note.”

Johnny held up his arm to stop Ryan. “No! It’s – It’s okay. Really. Honestly, it’s probably a good idea.” Johnny paused, thinking how best to phrase how he was feeling. “I guess, I just thought that maybe you were giving up, and that I would be alone again.”

Johnny stood up, falling back into his funk. Ryan went to open his mouth but was cut off.

“You’re not giving up, are you?” His voice broke, and he felt like he had turned another page in the adventure book – or rather, it felt like the page turned against his will. Was it a good or a bad ending? Ryan felt desperate enough to write something as emotional and final as a suicide note, so Johnny honestly didn’t know what was going through his mind. It sounded like Ryan changed his mind with his willingness to destroy the note, but maybe he was just putting up a façade to trick Johnny into staying motivated.

Who would Johnny even write his own note for? Thoughts of his dad and the gang, Mr. Moon, his showbiz family all passed through his mind. They would be wondering where he was, and the thought of them reading his own note pushed him over the edge. Tears streamed down Johnny’s face very suddenly. So suddenly, in fact, that it caught Ryan off guard.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Johnny. What’s wrong?” Ryan jumped up and walked over to Johnny with genuine concern. “Of course I’m not giving up!” Ryan pulled Johnny into a hug and began to rub his back. He sniffled and hugged back.

God. This is embarrassing! Crying like a child in front of Ryan!

After a few minutes of Ryan promising that he wasn’t giving up while still hugging and rubbing his back, Johnny felt like the wave of despair had finally subsided. He felt like he was holding in all his emotions from the very first night, trying to stay strong for two people. All the thoughts of alternative plans, regrets to go hiking, negative feelings about the trip in the first place came rushing back. The crying ended up being therapeutic though, and Johnny wiped his eyes. They broke the embrace.

“Sorry about that…” Johnny stepped bashfully away from Ryan and rubbed his cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay!” For someone who claimed he only had two close Redshore City friends, Ryan was very supportive and empathetic. “This is a scary situation for anyone, and I’m sorry for making you worry that I had given up.” Ryan crossed his arms.

“But if you kept crying any more than that, you probably would have wasted our water stores. You would have to put in your note that you cried yourself, and me,” Ryan dramatically pointed to himself with a big grin, emphasizing that he was joking, “to death!”

Johnny and Ryan both chuckled. Johnny took a deep breath, resetting and centering himself. His throat now hurt from crying, but it was better than when it hurt from the screaming.

“Alright, enough time wasted. I think it’s time we shot another flare off. I’m feeling good about this one!”

“There’s the light-hearted Johnny I know and love,” Ryan went to his backpack and took the orange pack out. He pulled the flare gun out, loaded a round into the chamber, and handed it to Johnny. “Best you do it since you’ve already fired it once before.”

Johnny took aim and pulled the trigger. The flare whistled into the sky, and successfully burst into its brilliant red.

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

It was now about two hours or so after they shot the flare off. Two hours after Johnny burst into tears when Ryan told him about the note. Writing the note itself was painstaking and emotional, but seeing Johnny so upset at the thought of him giving up really stabbed at his heart. Ryan had seen Johnny upset before with Kickenklober, but it never got to the point of tears. Eventually, he managed to convince Johnny that he wasn’t trying to end it all and Johnny began to calm down. He wanted to kick himself for making Johnny cry.

Ryan estimated it was a little after 1 pm when they both decided that no one was coming. Again. They wouldn’t fire any more flares today, and neither of them had the energy to resume their hourly scream fest from yesterday. At this point, it was just boredom and hunger they had to worry about. Johnny laid down on his back and began tossing a rock up into the air and catching it on its way down. Ryan sat down and decided to sketch in his journal. He wasn’t the best at sketching since so many other hobbies occupied his time, but there was so much down-time between movements of shows that he often filled it with sketching.

Ryan decided to sketch Johnny laying on the ground. It would be a fun challenge and a pleasant surprise for Johnny later, if he finished it. He started with the foreground, did a rough outline of Johnny’s body, then moved to his head. Ryan loved the light touch of red-brown fur that dappled the dark black fur on his head. It was really only noticeable if you were standing close to him. Too bad Ryan only had a mechanical pencil, so he couldn’t add color. It was the same predicament for Johnny’s eyes, which were a similar dark brown. He could add the details later once they got rescued.

Ryan got to Johnny’s mouth, which was curled tightly in a frown. That was totally warranted for what Johnny just went through, but Ryan loved seeing him smile. His smile lit up the whole room – everyone said that about it. Ryan paused and thought about what his most defining feature was. Dean and Sarah would say it was his green eyes or his stripes, but he wondered what feature Johnny noticed the first time he met him. He would have to ask Johnny - if he could work up the courage. Ryan decided to soften the frown to make it look like Johnny was simply passing time on a typical slow afternoon on set – best to not give Johnny a sketch reminding him of a rather volatile moment.

When he finished with Johnny’s head, he moved down to his torso. Ryan was pretty sure he could draw Johnny’s iconic black leather jacket and green shirt with a lightning bolt from memory by now. He wished he could pull off a leather jacket like him, but that wasn’t an issue right now. He needed to figure out how exactly to sketch Johnny’s arm, right after the rock released and traveled towards its apex. For a few throws, Ryan studied the motion that Johnny’s arm made, trying to memorize how his hand and fingers opened and how his jacket sleeve sat at that exact moment. If Johnny looked over at Ryan at any point, he would have seen him staring creepily. Ryan looked back down and made some slight adjustments to the outline. While he was adjusting the sketch, turned landscape to fit Johnny’s body in the margins, Johnny grunted in pain.

“OW!”

“It was only a matter of time before you missed the catch and dropped the rock on your face!” Ryan stated matter-of-factly but kept sketching.

“Oi, I didn’t though! It came from outside!”

Ryan looked up just in time to see several small rocks tumble in from the entrance and land around Johnny. Dust particles fell in after the rocks, and Johnny and Ryan locked eyes. Johnny sat up and twirled the rock he was tossing in his fingers to show Ryan than it wasn’t his doing. There was silence, and both looked back to the entrance. Ryan strained to listen.

Voices! There were definitely voices! Someone had to be nearby, and they must have disturbed the land enough to send rocks tumbling into the hole. Both of them jumped up and began shouting for help as loud as they could. Maybe they saw the flare! Ryan cupped his mouth to make his screams travel further. Suddenly, a rather large amount of dirt and rocks fell into the hole. They looked down to shield their eyes from the dirt, breathing deeply from the shouting.

When the dust settled, Ryan looked back up. There was a silhouette – no! There were multiple! His heart jumped out of his chest, and he squinted to see. Some of the outlines looked familiar.

“Ryan? Johnny? Are you guys down there?” It was Dean! Ryan shouted affirmatively and whooped in joy.

“Oh, thank goodness! We’ve been looking for you guys for days!” The second voice was female.

“Nooshy? Is that you!?” Johnny shouted. The relief was obvious in his voice. His bright smile was back.

“Yeah it’s me! We have rangers here with us. Don’t worry, we’re gonna get you guys out!”

“How did you guys find us?” Ryan asked, but he really didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“We saw a flare in the area! When we got close, the rangers found a bunch of rocks and dirt from a landslide, saying it was probably the collapsed second overlook from up on the mountain.” Dean was explaining.

“Yeah, that’s where we fell from!”

“Really? You guys fell from all the way up there!? Are you guys okay?”

“We have some bruises and cuts, but otherwise we’re both intact.” Ryan locked eyes with Johnny and grinned. He still had his journal in his hand, the mechanical pencil jutting out acting as a makeshift bookmark.

“Johnny, let’s pack up!”

Johnny nodded, and Ryan turned and ran to gather his stuff. Johnny followed. He grabbed two of the granola bars out of Johnny’s backpack, whistled to Johnny, then tossed one to him. They could finally eat without fear of starvation. He swallowed the granola bar in just three bites, and Johnny did it in just two. They both took aggressive sips of water to chase the dry granola.

Nooshy shouted back down, “Hey! The rangers are communicating with their station and they’re gonna send someone out with a rope ladder! You’ll have to hang tight for now, but we’ll stay with you guys. Give you some company!”

“I’m sure Johnny is tired of talking to Ryan by now!” Dean butted in. Ryan didn’t bother retorting – he was too overjoyed to think of a witty comeback.

The ranger’s station was about 45 minutes away from their side of the mountain. Ryan and Johnny ate and drank the rest of their supplies while talking to Dean and Nooshy. They found out that almost everyone from Mr. Moon’s troop volunteered to help aid in search and rescue, despite attempts from the rangers to have them stay back. The only people who didn’t come were those who physically couldn’t, like Miss Crawly and Mr. Moon (who was too short). The rangers split members up evenly amongst the different search parties to try to cover the most ground they could. Every squad had radio contact – Dean carefully dropped his walkie-talkie down the hole to Johnny and Ryan so they could say hi to the other members of the troop. Everyone was so relieved and excited to talk to Johnny and Ryan that the 45-minute wait for the rope ladder passed by quickly.

The ladder was thrown down and dangled from the middle of the hole. They did a double check to make sure nothing was left behind. Ryan decided to take his smashed phone just in case anything was recoverable from it. At the very least, he wouldn’t be littering. They both stood next to the ladder and waited for the all-clear that it was securely fastened above ground. A ranger gave them a verbal cue that it was time to leave.

Johnny looked at Ryan, then shouted to the rangers, “Ryan has a nasty gash on his face, so I’m gonna let him go up first so he can be treated as soon as possible!”

Ryan couldn’t argue with that, so he gripped the rungs and began climbing. When Ryan made it up, Johnny was next. It was only once Johnny was safe and sound did Ryan breathe a sigh of relief and look around. The air was crisp and clean, a drastic difference from the stale air only a dozen feet below. Dean came up and hugged him tightly. Nooshy did the same to Johnny. Ryan realized that the whole ordeal probably ruined everyone’s vacation, but that wasn’t important. Mr. Moon wasn’t cruel – he would surely give everyone some extra time off to recuperate.

The rangers split their numbers – half would stay and survey the area and the other half would lead Ryan and Johnny back. Apparently this hole/cave/whatever (Ryan didn’t care to think about it anymore) was undiscovered until now, and the rangers were going to have to make it safe. One of the rangers taking them back to town was a middle-aged medic who approached Ryan to inspect his wound. She asked Ryan if he was feeling okay to walk back. Ryan nodded.

“If at any point you feel faint or lightheaded, let me know. We have a stretcher if you need it.”

“I understand. I’ll be fine, but thanks.”

“Of course,” She handed Ryan and Johnny water bottles. “Please discard any water you collected from rain or natural sources. It may be contaminated.” The rangers seemed to think of everything. Thank goodness for that, or Ryan and Johnny may still be trapped down there.

Johnny spoke up next. “Ryan, I know you probably just want to go home and take a warm shower and all, but I really think we should go to an urgent care center or something. I could still have a concussion, and your face…” He trailed off. The medical ranger voiced her approval with this plan, saying that she would have forced them to go anyway.

Ryan sighed and nodded. They were rescued, but they weren’t in the clear yet. The next few days would potentially be filled with a grueling recovery, with the worst-case scenario requiring admission to a hospital. Ryan didn’t like hospitals, especially after what happened to his dad when he was little. Both he and Johnny were beaten up, starved, exhausted. The idea of needing stitches for his face was upsetting, but the feeling that Ryan felt when Johnny put Ryan first ahead of his own needs, both on the ladder and getting to urgent care, warmed his chest. If he didn’t know any better, he would almost describe the feeling as butterflies. Or was it nervousness? Regardless, it seemed to be happening more and more around Johnny.

It's probably a symptom of anxiety or stress…

“Hey! I called your mom. She wants to talk to you,” Dean interrupted his thoughts. He held out his cellphone, which displayed his mom’s name on the active call.

“Oh my god. I didn’t even think about her!” Ryan felt clear and discernible nervousness this time. He would be glad to talk to his mom, but she was going to talk his ear off with questions. He took Dean’s phone.

“Mom…?”

Johnny’s POV

The rangers finalized the plan and gave a verbal cue to start their trek back to civilization. Ryan was talking to someone on Dean’s phone, so Johnny walked along side Nooshy. She was wearing the same green hoodie that Johnny saw her wearing when they first met but had on more appropriate hiking gear otherwise. Since they were off the beaten path, the trek back was much more strenuous than on the trail, and there were several roadblocks along the way. There was a silence in the group except for Ryan talking and the rangers giving the occasional wayfinding prompt or hazard warning.

When the foliage thinned and the ground flattened, Nooshy stood close to Johnny and leaned her head on his left arm. He looked at her – she was clearly crashing from the excitement of having found them, and her face was solemn.

“I missed you, weirdo,” Nooshy said endearingly - it was a running joke from when they first met. Johnny wasn’t used to seeing her so down. He put his arm around her shoulders.

“I missed you too,” Johnny wanted to say more. “I’m- I’m sorry for….” He gestured vaguely at the surroundings.

She took her head off his arm and replaced it with a swift punch.

“Are people from the UK expected to apologize for accidents outside of their control?!”

“I guess not,” He rubbed his arm, not because the punch itself hurt, but because there happened to be a bruise there already.

“Ok, so shut up then. Or better yet, call your dad because he’s absolutely losing his mind right now.” Johnny knew Nooshy well enough to know that she wasn’t trying to be mean, just assertive. It’s how she was able to undermine Kickenklober’s authority so easily and how she gets away with semi-illegal street performances regularly. Johnny pulled out his phone and turned it on. When it was completely on, all the missed phone calls and texts came through in a rapid flurry of buzzes. The signal was good now. He saw some texts and missed calls from his dad, and even some from the rest of his dad’s gang. As expected, all of them were frantic and worried. Johnny pressed on his dad’s contact and called.

----

After an hour or so of hiking, the rangers indicated they were almost back to town. Everyone was exhausted, and Johnny’s head began to throb, reminding him of his injury. The medical ranger said there would be transport for everyone. Dean and Nooshy were given the option to head back to the lodge. They said they wanted to stay with Johnny and Ryan, but Ryan convinced them to go back and take a hot shower, have some food, and tell everyone what was going on. Johnny and Ryan were going to possibly need a change of clothes and other things after they were seen in urgent care anyway. Johnny handed his backpack to Nooshy to take back to the lodge but kept his phone so people could contact them. He thought it was lucky that they still even had the lodge – the vacation was scheduled through tomorrow.

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Johnny said when he handed his backpack over.

“No problem,” Nooshy placed the pack on her back. It looked massive on her considering it was a gorilla’s size. “You would have done the same thing for me. Don’t worry about it.”

They hugged (Ryan and Dean did the same), and all but the medical ranger departed. The ranger led them to a rugged-looking jeep, and Johnny and Ryan hopped in the back. The ride was mostly silent, the only sounds being the hum of the jeep and the occasional blurb from the ranger’s radio. They drove through the town, it’s original wonder now faded and tainted by the trauma they experienced. Tourists would turn to look at the ranger vehicle, but the locals ignored it – it must be a fairly common sight for them.

Johnny thought back to his phone conversation with his dad. His dad answered almost immediately, and his voice was full of intense emotion and worry. Johnny wasn’t sure how much his dad knew or who was keeping his dad in the loop (probably Mr. Moon), but his dad knew enough to be panicked. Johnny could almost hear the relief his dad felt when he spoke. He explained that he and Ryan were okay, the rangers were taking them to get treated, and that he would be home soon. When his dad said he was going to drive to the town, Johnny promptly denied him. After all, his dad was still on probation doing community service, and even with a true family emergency, the authorities wouldn’t take kindly to his dad skipping his shifts. Johnny reassured his dad that he would be home soon, and to make him feel better he would call or text again tonight. After a pause, his dad reluctantly agreed. Deep down though, Johnny really did want his dad to be there with him and it took everything to tell him the opposite.

“Hey. You doing okay?” Johnny turned to see Ryan looking at him with a gentle expression of concern.

“Yeah, I just miss me dad.”

“Me too.” Ryan looked at the floor of the vehicle. Johnny looked back out the window but kept talking to Ryan.

“We spend all this time wanting to grow up and be adults and wanting our parents to leave us alone to be independent. But even though I’m an adult now, I don’t feel like I have my life all together, all figured out. I want my parents more so now than ever.” Johnny was sure Ryan would think he was crazy for dumping all that just now – it seemed like such a trivial concern when only a few hours prior they were trapped in a hole in the mountains.

“Yeah…” The tone in Ryan’s voice made it clear that he didn’t think Johnny was crazy. That was a relief.

“Honey, I’m almost 45 and I can tell you now, you never quite get over that feeling. You won’t feel like you have your life together for a long time, maybe ever, and that’s okay. And you always want your parents, especially once they’re gone for good.” It was the ranger. Johnny locked eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “Life is too short to not be with the people you love, no matter how much they get on your nerves.”

Johnny nodded in understanding. The ranger kept on in her slight country drawl.

“You’d be surprised how often I have to give this advice. You young adults are healthy and spry, and think you have your whole lives ahead of you. Nine times out of ten, I’m rescuing a young adult from the mountains because they think they’re invincible. The mountains have a way of humbling y’all.” The radio buzzed. “Oh, I gotta take this. We’re almost there anyway.”

Johnny sat quietly, reflecting on what the ranger said to them. He knew she was right. Johnny and his dad have had tension and arguments in the past, but he felt that they were beyond that now. His dad wasn’t always supportive of his singing career, but he eventually came around. Johnny’s mum wasn’t in the picture, so maybe he should be more forgiving of his dad. Raising a kid alone is hard work and no one gets it perfect. He pulled out his phone and considered texting his dad to tell him he loved him, but then deleted the text. It was too out-of-pocket and probably would have made his dad panic again.

I’ll just tell him when I see him.

The ranger pulled into a small parking lot with a generic looking urgent care sign – red medical cross with a band-aid pattern. They were here. He looked at Ryan and watched him get out of the ranger vehicle. When Ryan’s door shut, Johnny unbuckled and got out of the vehicle. The ranger was out too.

“Thanks for driving us,” Johnny mustered a smile, but he was feeling tired again.

“No problem, kid. You’re Johnny right?”

Johnny nodded, and they started walking toward the urgent care. Ryan was 20 or so paces ahead with his hands inside his dirt-stained jean jacket pockets.

“Well Johnny, I’ll be staying with y’all until you get the all-clear, then I’ll drive y’all back to your lodge.” She stopped and grabbed Johnny’s arm gently, lowering her voice. “Hey, I see the way you look at Ryan. It’s cute and all, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

“What do you mean the way I look at Ryan?”

“You don’t need to hide it. I can tell you care about him – hell, you let him climb out of the pit first without a second thought. I usually have to break up fights over that sort of thing. And when we were walking back from the mountains, you kept glancing back at him to make sure he was keeping up.”

“Oh…uh…” Johnny blushed hard and bit his bottom lip between his canines. He didn’t even notice himself doing that. It was just instinctive. And if this ranger noticed him repeatedly glancing back at Ryan, then other people probably noticed too.

“I’ll just add this: People are usually brought closer together by traumatic events. You’d be surprised how many people propose to their significant other right after they’re rescued from the mountains.”

“…I honestly haven’t had a chance to think about it. My head’s still reeling and all.” That wasn’t a lie technically. Johnny rubbed his head then looked toward Ryan, who was almost at the front entrance. The ranger chuckled, and Johnny returned his attention to her.

“Hey! No, that wasn’t--”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, kid. Just remember though, life is short. Don’t get stuck trying to work out the knotted tangle that is your feelings. And I’m serious! Take care of yourself too!” She glared sternly.

“Hey, are you guys coming?” Ryan shouted at them. The ranger winked at Johnny and started a brisk walk toward Ryan before Johnny could retort.

She’s clearly messing with me, Johnny thought to himself, but the corners of his lips curled up slightly in a smile. Maybe she’s right though…

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

It’s only been a couple minutes since they got to the urgent care center, but everyone started working in a flurry. The staff seemed to jump right into helping them – Ryan assumed the rangers called ahead and told them what to expect. That, and the healthcare workers were probably used to getting lost hikers all the time; There was probably a contingency plan they all trained with for these situations. A couple nurses wearing blue scrubs ushered Ryan and Johnny to the back hallway past reception, then split them off into different rooms.

Ryan’s room was lit by a few rows of bright fluorescent lights. He was so used to the dim lighting of the cave that the unnatural flickering hurt his eyes and made him squint. Compared to the smells of dirt and nature, this room smelled starkly of artificial and sterile chemicals. He sat on the patient bed, the paper lining crinkling under his weight, and one of the nurses handed him a stack of medical robes. The nurse instructed him to change and put his dirty clothes into a large plastic bag, and they all left him in private.

Damn. That’s not a good sign…

He was probably going to be staying at least the night here. His face throbbed, almost as if to tell him to suck it up because it could be worse. With a huff, he stood up and began to peel his dirty clothes off, which were covered in dirt, grime, blood, and sweat. When he was shirtless, he looked at himself in the mirror in the room. With a quick inspection, he identified several large bruises, cuts, and spots of fur matted with dried blood. Curiosity got the better of him, and he winced when he poked a bruise just below his collarbone on his pec. The contusion was a sickly, shiny purple to the point that it shone visibly through his fur. It would be a couple weeks before a bruise that size disappeared…

He finished changing and sat back on the raised platform. Someone knocked and called his name, so he indicated they could enter. The same nurses came back in, but there was an older animal wearing scrubs plus a white lab coat. He introduced himself as the doctor that would be helping today. Triage began immediately and lasted far longer than Ryan was used to, making sure to cover every part of his body so that nothing was missed. Ryan was poked and prodded, adjusted and repositioned. The nurse that told him to change took his temperature and blood pressure, then used a stethoscope to listen to his breathing and heartbeat. The medical device was cold on his back and chest. When that was done, the nurse turned to the doctor, who was in the middle of inspecting Ryan’s face wound. She whispered “vitals WNL” and “clear to auscultation bilaterally” and left when the doctor nodded.

Ryan wasn’t sure if those phrases were good or not, but before he could ask, the doctor cleared his throat and began to speak.

“How’s your pain, Ryan? Any places that really hurt or have restricted motion?”

“Uh, nothing seems broken as far as I can tell. I can walk fine and all. I guess the places that hurt most are my face and bruised spots.”

“Well, we can get you some pain relievers. We need to get IV access since you’re slightly malnourished and dehydrated. Do needles bother you?”

“No, I don’t mind them,” Ryan lied – sharps bothered him since the incident with is dad.

“Okay,” The doctor turned to the other nurse and instructed them to bring in fluids. He turned back to Ryan. “I’ve had a chance to check out your face. Was it cleaned or washed when you were trapped?”

“Yeah my friend Johnny, the other one that’s here, cleaned it with rubbing alcohol as best as he could.”

“Well, he did a good job removing a lot of the dirt and grime, but unfortunately it still looks like it might be infected. We’ll give you a couple doses of IV antibiotics and monitor you.”

Ryan frowned. “Guess that means I’ll be staying here, huh?”

“Yes, the nurses and I think it’s for the best. We’ll make you comfortable as best as we can though, and you’re allowed to have visitors until 9 pm. Let us know if you remember anything else that happened, even if you think it’s the smallest detail. We don’t like to take chances here.”

Ryan nodded. Both nurses came back with the IV equipment. Ryan looked away when the nurse inserted the large-bore needle. He felt the pinch that indicated it was in, then felt a cooling, stinging sensation that indicated the fluids were being infused. He began to feel better relatively quickly, the pain dulling to a faint throb. The nurse secured the IV line to his forearm with some special medical tape designed to stick to animals that had fur.

Ryan grabbed the bag containing his clothes, and the nurses escorted him to the inpatient wing where he got his own room. Johnny was standing inside, looking at his phone and leaning against the windowsill. Even though they were only separated for an hour or so, Ryan was glad to see Johnny. Johnny looked up and smiled.

“Ryan! Hey, they told me that you were going to have to stay the night, so I thought I’d stop by and see if you needed anything.”

“I’m guessing you’re clear to leave, since you’re not in a hospital gown,” Ryan looked Johnny up and down, then sat on the corner of the bed, holding the IV pole in his left paw. The nurses left.

“Yeah, they checked my head out. Said I didn’t have a concussion. Patched up the rest of my cuts and all, so I’m good to go,” Johnny paused, then glanced outside the window. “But I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone, ‘specially without a phone.”

“You don’t have to stay. I’m in good hands here.”

“I know, but I want to stay, at least until Sarah and Dean get here. I asked the ranger – Anne’s her name – to go and pick them up. I told her I wouldn’t leave until I knew you weren’t alone, but she agreed pretty readily.” Johnny stepped away from the window, closer to Ryan.

“By the way, what were you and Anne talking about before we walked inside?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ah, never mind. It probably wasn’t important,” Ryan pulled himself fully into the bed and leaned against the pillows – a drastic improvement from sleeping on his backpack and a stone floor. The sheets felt cool and clean against his body. Johnny walked over and sat at the foot of the bed opposite where Ryan was just sitting. He seemed deep in thought, then opened his mouth to say something before closing it and looking back outside. The sun was beginning to get low in the sky, and it would be dark before they knew it. There was a good view of the mountains even from this place.

“Hey, uh, can… can I ask you a question?” Johnny spoke timidly.

“Sure, shoot.”

“Well, uh, don’t take this the wrong way, promise, it doesn’t mean anything serious or anything…”

Ryan chuckled, “I’m not gonna bite your head off if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t think I can open my jaw that wide anyway with the gash on my cheek.” He could see Johnny flash a grin from the side.

“Um, well, I was just wondering if you were… uh, single…” Johnny coughed, his grin fading.

What!? Did I hear that right?

Ryan furled his eyebrows. Johnny seemed to pick up on Ryan’s confusion because he raised his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry, that was a weird question! It’s just that, well, uh… someone asked Ash, and then Ash texted me because she knows I’m friends with you, and I guess she was just trying to figure out for this person. Sorry, I know, inappropriate right now when you’re stuck in an ICU bed,” Johnny trailed off. Ryan noticed that Johnny’s accent became really thick when he was flustered or embarrassed, and to be honest, he kind of liked it. Johnny must have thought he upset Ryan because he kept trying to play the question off.

“Please, don’t worry about it! I’ll just text Ash that she should just ask you herself when you recover and all,” To which Johnny pulled out his phone and began to text. The whole situation was so unanticipated and sudden that Ryan burst into heavy laughter. His bruised ribs were hurting from the fit. After a delay, Johnny began to laugh too, and he put his phone back in his jacket pocket.

“Hey! You guys are gonna disturb the other patients!” A female voice came from the door. Ryan looked over and saw Sarah and Dean, who waved and entered.

“You guys made it! Johnny was just telling me you were coming. Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to clean myself up – I wasn’t expecting company,” Ryan joked. He went to lean up to hug Sarah, but Sarah pushed him back down into the bed.

“No, you have to take it easy for the next few days!” Ryan didn’t argue, and Sarah leaned over him and wrapped him in a large hug. She made sure not to squeeze too hard. Anne came in during the hug and tilted her head at Johnny. He stood up and went to Anne, grabbing Ryan’s clothes on the way over. Before Ryan could say anything, Johnny explained that Rosita offered to deep clean all their dirty clothes. She was the mom of the group after all. Even the Redshore City group knew that.

“If you have a problem with it, text her. That’s what she told me to tell you,” Johnny said.

“My phone is smashed though.”

“Exactly, and I think she knows that,” Johnny laughed. “Anyway, I’m gonna head out, but I’ll probably be back tomorrow.”

Dean and Sarah said goodbye to Johnny and thanked Anne, who nodded silently. They turned around and left. As soon as that happened, Sarah laid sideways across the foot of the bed, resting her head on her hand. The look on her face told Ryan what was coming next.

“So, Ryan, how was it being alone with Johnny for three days?” She asked whimsically.

Dean groaned loudly and left, mumbling that he was going to grab some snacks from the vending machines. At some point over the last three days, Sarah must have filled Dean in on her plan to get Ryan and Johnny together. Ryan rolled his eyes but decided to give her some satisfaction.

“Honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. If I take away the cuts, bruises, and concussions, I’d say ten out of ten, not a bad first date!” His voice was dripping in sarcasm, but there was a hint of truth to the statement.

Johnny’s POV

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Why did he ask Ryan if he was single? Just out of the blue like that. He groaned and sunk down in the passenger seat of the ranger vehicle. The sun had just set, and now twilight painted its blue overtone on the mountain town. Anne was busy communicating with her team, so she didn’t seem to notice Johnny in his funk. Or maybe she did, like when he kept looking back at Ryan on the way back from the mountains. This was going to drive him crazy. He rubbed his face in frustration.

And I didn’t even manage to get an answer out of him!

Now that Johnny received some pain meds and food and his head fog was beginning to clear up, his mind was racing. The more he thought about what Anne said to him, the more it began to make sense. It wasn’t obvious at first, but Johnny finally gave in and accepted his feelings. The butterflies, the blushing, the warmth he felt in his chest when he talked to Ryan. He wasn’t sure when this all started, but the more he thought back to the moment he first met Ryan, the more he realized the signs were present then, too. They were just much harder to notice because Kickenklober was breathing down his neck the whole time. During the whole life-or-death situation, it was easy to dismiss the feelings as adrenaline. But the feelings were still here, and he was safe, so he couldn’t blame the adrenaline anymore. And not to mention Ryan’s cologne and the effect it had on him! It still lingered on Ryan’s backpack, which was now in Johnny’s possession to take back to the lodge along with his clothes. He absentmindedly hugged it close to his chest.

I… I have a crush on Ryan….!

But just because Johnny accepted his feelings didn’t mean he could accept the whole concept of a crush. There was a wave of giddiness, which crashed and dropped into a trough of trepidation and confusion. Sure, he’s had crushes before, but there were two big issues. First, he’s only had crushes on girls. Secondly, he’s never actually acted on any of them. His home life was too tumultuous and turbulent, especially once his dad thought he was old enough to accompany the gang on heists and robberies. He never worked up the courage to explain to his friends what his dad did as an occupation, let alone a potential date. Remembering that his dad was essentially clean (for now) from illegal activities, Johnny felt another wave of giddiness. He could go on dates now! It didn’t take long for the feeling to crash though, and the cycle continued.

There’s no way Ryan believed my lie about Ash asking for an acquaintance!

For as much time as Johnny spent practicing improv in case something went wrong during a show (which happened often), he totally botched the improvised lie. Ryan was certainly going to bring it up again. And if he brought it up to Ash, then Ash wouldn’t know what he was talking about, and then he would figure out that Johnny was really asking for himself. Johnny dug himself into a hole in under 30 seconds, so shortly after he escaped from the other, more literal hole.

Okay. Calm down.

Johnny really wanted to talk to someone about his feelings. Anne would understand, but she was still practically a stranger. There was only so much advice he could wean from her. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his recent texts. There was one earlier in the day from Meena, asking what Johnny’s favorite cake was (any form of banana cake). She was planning on baking both Johnny and Ryan a cake when they got back to the lodge to celebrate their rescue. He remembered that Meena had recently started dating Alfonso, and she had issues working through her crush with him. Maybe she would be a good person to ask. If someone as shy as Meena could get a date, Johnny had to be able to do it too. There was also Ash, who’s dealt with relationship issues in the past. Both were two of Johnny’s closest friends, so they probably wouldn’t judge him. If he could let Ash know about his failed lie, then maybe she could make something up to give him an alibi of sorts.

Johnny pulled out his phone to text Ash and Meena – they were already in a group chat together as they were the youngest members of the troupe. It was often a space to share memes or rant about the older members. Occasionally, before Meena was dating Alfonso, the chat would devolve into a flurry of gossip-y texts about guys the girls thought were cute. They of course would try to pull Johnny into the gossip, but his reply was usually something like “no thanks, I’m not a bloke who likes blokes.” Johnny paused mid-text, realizing that his defensive reply may no longer be true with his recently uncovered and confusing feelings for Ryan. He shook the thought out of his head and finished the text.

J: Hey, I need to talk to you both. I’m omw back to the lodge now.

A: Is everything okay Johnny?

M: Yeah, that text sounded pretty serious…

J: Everything is fine! I’ll explain more when I’m back. Just keep it on the DL

He put his phone away and looked back to the town. It’s only been three days since he really started interacting with Ryan this much outside of the theatre. Was it possible to develop a crush in such a short time? What if he went to bed and the next day no longer felt this way? How would he even ask Ryan out? It was nowhere near time for Johnny to be thinking about that, but his mind kept gravitating to the scenario. Johnny didn’t know much about Ryan’s dating life, and if he hastily rushed in he could potentially ruin their friendship. He shook his head. Ryan was such a chill guy that even if he didn’t like Johnny back he probably was mature enough to not let that ruin anything. Right? Maybe Johnny could ask Dean or Sarah.

And then there was the dreadful thought of having to explain this to Mr. Moon, who had a sort of unspoken rule about intra-cast relationships. It wasn’t 100% prohibited, but Mr. Moon had all kinds of stories and warnings where previous casts fell into disarray when one relationship soured. Ash and Rosita always countered by saying that could happen even with regular friendships, but Mr. Moon stood by his words.

Oh man… Dad… Would he be okay with this?

But before he could explore that panic-inducing thought, the vehicle slowed to a stop.

“We’re back at the lodge.” Anne smiled.

“Thanks, Anne. You don’t seem tired in the slightest,” Johnny returned her smile.

“Well, I take a win whenever I can, and your rescue went perfectly. And young people like you and Ryan really make me believe that this world will be okay. Anyway, I’m sure you’re plenty exhausted for the two of us, so I’ll let you go.”

Johnny picked up Ryan’s clothes and hopped out of the ranger vehicle. He turned and waved to Anne, who nodded and backed out of the lodge driveway. Johnny took a deep breath, not sure what exactly to expect on his way in and began ascending the stairs to the front entrance. He stood at the door, fist ready to knock, but he hesitated. This was the first moment of silence and peace he’s experienced in a while.

The door opened before he could knock, and Meena pulled him inside into a big hug.

“Oh…Meena…I’m still a bit sore…” He said, strained through the tight squeeze. It was nice to see his friend regardless.

Meena released him and apologized, and Johnny stepped around her into the large living space. All the other troupe members were there, and Ash carried the cake that Meena baked out from the kitchen. A happy chatter arose from everyone as Johnny walked further into the living room. Everyone’s eyes were on him, and he gingerly waved and nodded as needed to people as they asked if he was okay. He saw Gunter, Mr. Moon, Miss Crawly, Nooshy, Porsha, and a handful of Redshore City folks. Rosita came up and hugged him, then took Ryan’s clothes and backpack. She insisted that Johnny go and take a hot shower and change before they cut the cake up for everyone. He didn’t have to be told twice, and he let everyone know that he would be right back. As he disappeared down the hallway, he heard Rosita tell everyone not to overwhelm him with questions about the incident.

There she goes being a caring mom again… Johnny smiled and turned the knob to his room.

In his room, he plugged his phone into the charger on the nightstand and hung up his leather jacket on one of the bed posts. It was covered in hundreds of tiny scratches and specs of dirt. Johnny sighed, realizing he would probably have to retire it and buy a new one if it couldn’t be cleaned. He sat on his bed and bent down to untie and scrutinize his hiking boots. The soles were damaged and filled with mud, so he pulled them off gently to avoid little flecks flinging everywhere. Another article of clothing to possibly replace. This was the first time in three days he took his boots off, so his feet ached as they were free to return to their natural, unenclosed form.

He sat back up and closed his eyes, leaning back on his elbows until the aches dissipated. When he opened his eyes again, he saw his backpack to the left of him. It was placed nicely against his pillow. The bed, which was made since the last time he was in the room, had new sheets and blankets. They smelled faintly of lavender fabric softener. He didn’t recall making his bed, but the small act of kindness gave him a sense of control and order after a few days of chaos. He would have to thank whoever did it.

Probably Rosita or Miss Crawly…

He pulled his long-sleeve shirt over his head and inspected it – there were some holes scattered through-out. He could take the time to fix it, but it might also be a lost cause. Rosita would know what to do. He tossed it onto the floor. Standing up from the bed reintroduced the aches in his feet, but Johnny walked through the pain to the bathroom and shut the door. He inspected himself in the mirror over the sink. His eyes were sunken and dark, made worse by the angle of the lighting. There were bits of debris stuck in his fur. Johnny ran his fingers through the fur on his head to attempt to fix the styling, but the fur slouched back down and sent a cloud of dust everywhere. He sneezed, suddenly very eager to wash the dirt and grime off his body.

After undressing the rest of the way, he stepped into the shower and turned the water on. Steam quickly filled the bathroom and he rested his head against the shower wall, letting the water rinse all the grime and negative thoughts away. The shampoo was his own that he brought with him, designed to help maintain the health and texture of gorilla fur. He lathered a generous amount onto his head and began massaging it in, taking care around his head wound. The shower was heavenly, and he gave himself grace to stay there as long as he wanted.

When he was finally satisfied that he was sufficiently clean and rejuvenated, Johnny turned the water off with a squeak. He stepped out and grabbed a long towel to pat himself dry with. There was no clock in the bathroom, so he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. People were probably beginning to wonder if he just decided to go to sleep – the thought did cross his mind at one point. When he was dry, he wrapped the towel tightly around his waist and stepped into the bedroom. As soon as he did though, the door to his room burst open. It was Ash, who shouted and covered her eyes before she realized Johnny wasn’t totally naked.

“Ash, what are you doing!?” Johnny covered his exposed chest with one arm and secured the towel with his other. Not that there was anything to hide while shirtless – it was more of a courtesy for Ash.

“Sorry! You were taking a long time, so we were worried that maybe you got hurt or something. Anyway, we’re waiting for you in the living room if you still want to have your cake. I tasted the batter, so I know it’s gonna be amazing!” Ash finished excitedly and seemed to be waiting for a response.

“Yeah, yeah, I do want to have some cake, but I’d like to not be half naked if that’s alright with you, mate,” He grinned.

“Oh, right, right. Sorry! I’ll leave you to it,” Ash closed the door and Johnny chuckled, walking over to make sure it was locked before he got dressed.

He picked out his comfiest set of clothes: a worn grey t-shirt, a pair of dark grey joggers, and a blue New Calatonia University Hoodie. The fabric of the joggers was incredibly soft and warm, so he packed it for any late-night plans in case the temperature dropped. They would have been tremendously useful during his time in the hole, but hindsight was 20-20 and it wouldn’t do well to dwell on it anymore. As for the hoodie, his dad gifted it to him in high school. It was ironic though, because his dad’s plan was always for Johnny to join the gang, not go to college. Regardless, he still appreciated the gift. Deciding to not track mud everywhere, he picked a pair of clean white socks and left his boots off. His casual shoes were fine to wear but were already tighter than his hiking boots, so he left them. He grabbed his phone, turned the light off, and exited the room.

For the rest of the evening, Johnny managed to stay awake, and he rather enjoyed himself in the company of his friends. The cake was phenomenal, so much so that Johnny made Meena promise to share the recipe with him. After he made her promise that, he made her promise to teach him how to bake a cake since he was terrible in the kitchen. Drinks and other snacks were set out, music was softly playing, and everyone was having a great time. Nooshy was even showing off some of the dances she saw when she was exploring. Johnny was impressed as usual that she could flawlessly imitate a dance after a few minutes of watching.

A little after 9 pm, Dean and Sarah returned and updated everyone on Ryan’s status – The fluids and antibiotics were working perfectly, and he was sound asleep when they left. Johnny felt a pang of sadness when he realized that there wouldn’t be a celebration as lively as this one for Ryan – the vacation ends tomorrow. He tucked the thought away, making a mental plan to have a celebration for Ryan later. He went up to Dean and Sarah, suggesting they bring Ryan some coffee tomorrow morning from that coffee place they went to at the beginning of the vacation.

“That’s a great idea, Johnny! See, I knew I liked you!”

“Sarah, you like everyone,” Dean rolled his eyes, “but yeah, you’re cool with us Johnny. A friend of Ryan’s is a friend of ours.”

“Well, he really likes black coffee right? That’s what he told me he was drinking that morning.”

“Uh…I thought he ordered a flat white with almond milk.” Dean looked quizzically at Sarah.

“That’s what I ordered,” Johnny pulled out his phone and showed Dean the text, but Sarah ignored it.

“Hmm, that sneaky tiger! Anyway, if he told you he ordered a black coffee, then that’s what we’ll bring him!” Sarah smiled, but it seemed to have an ulterior motive behind it. Before Johnny could ask, Dean just shook his head and told him to not worry about it. Johnny exchanged phone numbers with them so they could keep in touch tomorrow and going forward. They said goodbye, and Johnny sat down next to Mr. Moon.

“Hey, Mr. Moon,” Johnny said, smiling contently. “Feels like I haven’t talked very much with you on this trip.”

“Hey, Johnny! Don’t give yourself a hard time, you’ve been busy surviving in the mountains. Besides, it makes me happy to hear you sound like you’ve already moved on from the whole ordeal.” The small koala’s pleasant nature was always contagious.

“Well about that, there’s some personal stuff I’m dealing with, and I’m wondering if we could postpone rehearsals slightly.” Johnny pinched his forefinger and thumb together to emphasize ‘slightly’.

“Of course! Take all the time you need,” Mr. Moon didn’t seem upset in the slightest. The first time Johnny had ‘personal problems’ or ‘family business,’ Mr. Moon asked Johnny if he needed to worry about his commitment to their first show. It was nice to see Mr. Moon not question him this time.

“Really? No explanation needed or anything?”

“None! I’ve worked with you long enough to trust you to do what’s needed. Besides, I’m only successful when you guys are successful. Right Miss Crawly?” Mr. Moon turned to Miss Crawly, who shuffled over slowly with a small plate of the banana cake in one of her hands.

“Oh of course, Mr. Moon!” She gave Johnny a loving pat on the arm – that was really all that was required for her to convey her emotions to Johnny. She was essentially the grandma of the group, going to great lengths to provide for Mr. Moon’s theatre and everyone involved. Johnny was able to pick up the piano again with her help, and he was forever grateful to her.

“Thank you Mr. Moon, Miss Crawly! It means a lot. I’ll let you know when I have more details figured out so you’re not totally in the dark, but right now I’m going to head to bed,” Johnny yawned the last half of that statement. He got up and thanked everyone for helping him feel normal again after something so traumatic, then went up to Ash. She apologized again for walking in earlier, then gave him a hug, pointing out his shampoo smelled good. She released and pulled out her phone, waving it towards Johnny.

“So, what was your text about?”

“Oh right. I’ll tell you and Meena tomorrow. I’m too tired to explain…”

“It’s really not anything bad though, right? Really, Johnny, we’re here for you. And Ryan. He’s one of us now,” She added on at the end.

“I promise, it’s nothing to worry about,” Johnny thought about maybe giving her a hint, but there were too many people around. He left it at that.

“Okay big guy, sleep tight. See you tomorrow,” Ash turned and went to get another slice of cake.

Johnny walked down the dim hallway and shuffled into his room. His phone lit up right when he entered, and he saw a text from his dad. He smiled and replied.

D: Goodnight, son. Love you

J: Goodnight, dad! Love you too. See you soon

He didn’t even take the time to change out of his comfy clothes before crawling under the blanket. Within seconds, he drifted off to sleep, the sounds of his friends’ laughter and banter too distant to wake him.

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

“Ryan, how are you feeling?” A female voice pierced his slumber.

Ryan woke and opened his eyes to his inpatient room, now lit by bright morning sunlight instead of flickering fluorescent bulbs. There was a nurse present, and she was looking at Ryan with a clipboard in her hands. He sat up and stretched his whole upper body, filled with renewed vigor after getting a good night’s rest and plenty of fluids. He rubbed his face and noticed a table with a cloche next to the nurse.

Must be breakfast…

The nurse seemed to notice and lifted the cloche to expose a tray with a standard assortment of (vegan) breakfast foods. His stomach rumbled loudly enough for the nurse to hear, and he wrapped his arms around in a futile attempt to hide the sounds. He smiled timidly and shrugged. The nurse chuckled and made a note on her clipboard. She repeated her earlier question.

“Oh, I’m feeling pretty good. Better than when I came in at least,” Ryan said, gently feeling his face wound. He was surprised at how fast the wound was healing. The inflammation and pain were markedly less than yesterday, so the antibiotics and NSAIDs seemed to be doing their job. He conveyed the info to the nurse.

“That’s great news! We may even be able to discharge you soon pending doctor inspection and approval. Now, we gave you fairly high-dose antibiotics so your stomach may be upset,” She wheeled the breakfast over to him, “so just make sure to take it easy when eating.”

He nodded and grabbed a fork and knife, restraining himself from swallowing a whole quarter of the waffle in three bites. The nurse began to check his vitals while he was eating, making sure that his mouth was empty when instructing him to take deep breaths for the stethoscope. When all the checks were finished, the nurse gave him an update (vitals were within normal levels – WNL, answering his internal question from earlier) and asked if he had any further questions.

“Yeah, actually I do have one,” Ryan swallowed a sip of his orange juice and then loosely held up the slack IV line still in his arm, “Obviously I can’t leave with this, but I only got two doses of antibiotics. Is that enough?”

“So, the antibiotics we gave you have oral formulations. The doctor will write a prescription for you to finish the regimen while outpatient. Great question!” The nurse wrote something down on the clipboard again. He wondered what it could’ve been.

“Well, my mom’s a pharmacist so she’s always complaining about patients not finishing their antibiotics,” He shrugged again and finished his orange juice. The nurse didn’t follow up on that. She just asked if he preferred the window shades open or closed (he said open) and then she swiftly left. Ryan looked out the window and watched the clouds roll through the blue sky – another beautiful day. Being stuck in a hospital bed, even for just a short time, made him aware of how he took nice weather for granted. Much the same way people always miss being able to breathe out of their nose when they were sick. He vowed to himself that he would enjoy nice days, even if it was during a short 15-minute rehearsal break. Whether he would uphold that vow, only time would tell.

He also thought back to his mom and felt a pang of homesickness. As soon he replaced his broken phone, he would have to give her a call. Just like all the times he spent visiting his dad’s workplace, he was allowed to hang out with his mom in her own pharmacy. Because she was the owner and founder of the pharmacy, she wouldn’t get in trouble for having a kid back behind the register counter. Ryan remembered late nights when his mom would help him with math homework while simultaneously running a whole pharmacy by herself. Patients and customers would stop by and ask to say hi to him each month they came to pick up their prescriptions. When the pharmacy was slow, Ryan would run back and forth down the aisles of drug stock bottles, grab a random bottle, and run to his mom to ask what the drug did. While he couldn’t pronounce or even reach half of the drugs at the time, he liked to think that it helped fuel his more scientific side. If dancing fell through, pharmacy was always a career option.

After he finished his breakfast, the doctor came in an did a final inspection of his wounds. He was given the all-clear, then handed a prescription for two antibiotics that he actually recognized. Ryan put the prescription on the nightstand next to his bed. The doctor told him that he was clear to leave, and that his friends already called ahead saying they were bringing a change of clothes. He thanked the doctor as he left the room, then laid back against the pillows.

What a crazy four days it’s been…

Johnny’s POV

Johnny woke around 7 am without an alarm – a typical wake up time when the cast had rehearsals, but a bit early when he had the rare occasion to sleep in. His body must have been used to waking up around then, and he was relieved the three days in the cave didn’t disrupt his circadian rhythm too badly. He got up, brushed his teeth, struggled to find an outfit that worked without his leather jacket, and put on his shoes. It wasn’t that he didn’t have an outfit independent from his jacket, but rather he just felt that they were all planned with the jacket in mind. He settled on a simple long-sleeve shirt that was white in the torso and red on the sleeves. A bit plain, but it would make do. Since he took a shower so late yesterday, all he had to do was spruce up his hairstyle a little and he was ready for the day.

Johnny went over and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, checking to see if there were any new messages. He had one from Dean that said he and Sarah planned to go to get coffee and visit Ryan around 10 am. Johnny sent a thumbs up emoji to confirm, then texted the group chat with Meena and Ash.

Hey, you guys up yet?

They didn’t respond after a minute, so Johnny figured they were still asleep. It was the last night of the vacation, so everyone was probably trying to squeeze any remaining fun out of the party and may have stayed up late. He had three hours or so to kill, but he couldn’t wander too far and leave the lodge in case Dean and Sarah wanted to leave earlier. He sent Rosita a good morning text and a follow-up text asking about Ryan’s clean clothes, since he would need them at discharge. Rosita, in typical mom-who-does-it-all fashion, began to type immediately. Ryan chuckled as her text came through.

Of course she would be up already, Johnny thought to himself.

Good morning Johnny! Ryan’s clothes are cleaned and folded on the living room table.

Thanks again, Rosita!

Of course, any time! Oh, and if you get a second, I have my classic hangover cure breakfast if you’re hungry!

Johnny didn’t even realize that the older adults were drinking alcohol last night. He wasn’t quite 21 yet, so he hasn’t really had a chance to party with alcohol. He also never went to college, so he missed out on any of those events. The legal drinking age was 18 in Britain, so his dad occasionally snuck him a beer, but that was the extent of his drinking. His plan for his 21st, while still in development, was to have a party at his garage. The space was large enough for all his troupe friends, and with no neighbors, there wasn’t a fear of being too loud or rowdy. He would just have to convince his dad somehow. His stomach rumbled and broke his brainstorm, so he left his room to head to the kitchen.

As he approached, the smell of breakfast wafted through the lodge. There were some other adults already awake, including a sleepy Mr. Moon and a surprisingly active Miss Crawly. They were both sitting at a long wooden table that could seat eight animals or so. Johnny walked by and waved to them, as well as to a couple of Redshore City cast members that he recognized from Kickenklober’s class but didn’t really know too well. Miss Crawly gave a chipper “morning, Johnny!” but Mr. Moon sipped on his coffee quietly, clearly nursing a hangover. Johnny rounded the table and walked to Rosita.

She was busy cooking several breakfast options by herself. Johnny said hi and offered to help, but Rosita denied. Apparently it was a rare treat that she was able to cook food for animals who weren’t as picky of eaters as her kids and husband. Before Johnny could insist, Rosita prepared a plate and handed it to him to eat. Johnny was somewhat glad because he would probably have just gotten in Rosita’s way. He thanked her and walked over to the table to sit next to Miss Crawly. His phone buzzed just as he sat.

Hey, Ash and I just woke up. Be there soon

Ash and Meena were sharing a room since Ash was so small and didn’t need a whole room to herself. He replied with an ‘okay’ and poured himself a coffee. Even though he would be getting coffee later with Dean and Sarah, three hours was plenty of time for another cup. Johnny added some creamer and took a sip. The warmth flowed into his chest and washed out the final feelings of grogginess. Johnny began eating in silence. As he finished his plate (considering if he wanted seconds), the Redshore City pair stood up and walked over to Johnny.

“Hey Johnny, hope you’re doing okay…”

“Hey lads, I’m feeling better now that I’ve had a chance to sleep in an actual bed,” Johnny smiled. They returned it.

“Well that’s great!” They looked to each other, then the other one began speaking.

“Look, I know that we haven’t really talked to you that much, but we wanted to say thank you for what you did for Ryan.”

“Yeah, Dean told all of us from Redshore City what you did for Ryan, with his wound and all, so we’re just really grateful that both of you are okay,” The first animal explained. “By the way, my name is Chloe, and this is Kirk.”

“Oh, nice to meet you guys officially,” Johnny gave them friendly fist bumps, and then they took their empty plates to the sink and left the kitchen. He turned and watched them walk away, but then Mr. Moon caught his eye and gave him a thumbs up. Despite being hungover, Mr. Moon was still worried about integrating the Redshore City members. Johnny chuckled and stood up, taking his dirty dishes to the sink. He washed them before Rosita could stop him – at least he could be of use there. As he set the plate on the drying rack, he heard Rosita say good morning to Meena and Ash.

Johnny turned around and walked over to them. He gave them an inquisitive look and then nodded his head out of the kitchen, trying to be subtle so that Rosita wouldn’t catch on. She didn’t, and both Meena and Ash politely turned down breakfast. Ash added that she would eat any leftovers, which satisfied Rosita. Johnny led them to the living room then out one of the side doors onto the patio attached to the side of the lodge. He could hear Ash and Meena behind him, frantically whispering to each other trying to figure out why he was being so secretive.

There was a wooden picnic table next to the hot tub, sort of situated just slightly out of view from the large windows overlooking the valley. Johnny pointed to the table, whispered ‘sit here,’ then inspected the rest of the immediate area for any eavesdroppers. When he was satisfied that they were alone, he finally sat down across from Meena and Ash. Meena looked a little nervous, but Ash didn’t bother to hide her excitement. The coffee picked that moment to kick in, and Johnny felt a rush of adrenaline – He’s never dropped such a big reveal to any of his friends. He wasn’t even sure yet if he would be able to or if he would chicken out at the last second.

Johnny locked eyes with Ash, noticing her excitement increase, as she sort of hopped up and down in her seat. He rolled his eyes, but his friend’s lack of worry seemed to help him calm himself.

“Ash, mate, you look way too excited for this,” He smiled, feeling a lull in the adrenaline.

“I’m sorry! I’ll be honest, Meena and I stayed up way too late trying to figure out what’s going on with you,” She elbowed Meena, “and Meena is worried it’s something bad. I just want some juicy gossip!”

“What things did you guys manage to come up with?” he was clearly trying to draw this out. Ash groaned impatiently, but Meena spoke up.

“Well, most of the theories were pretty crazy. Ash put a lot of thought into some of them,” Meena shrugged.

“Yeah, like one of them was that you were living two lives at once and you were finally going to tell us about your other life. Maybe you’re a billionaire, or you have a twin brother you switch places with, or that you’ve robbed a bank or something,” She paused to let Johnny digest.

“….Well…the bank thing… is sort of true,” Johnny whispered and Ash and Meena squealed in disbelief and excitement. “But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now!”

“How are you going to tell us you ‘sort of’ robbed a bank and then not give us any details!” Ash threw her hands in the air incredulously. Meena nodded in agreement.

“Uh… well you know how me dad and his friends are doing community service?” They nodded and he continued. “So, during the singing competition, they actually got caught robbing a boat and stealing a bunch of gold. I was supposed to be the getaway driver, but I was stuck in traffic after the rehearsal. They got arrested for it, but eventually got out on good behavior and food service duty.”

Meena and Ash’s jaws were open wide in shock. Johnny waved his hands in defense and explained that he’s never actually been on the inside stealing the stuff and that he’s only ever wanted to be a singer. He added that his dad and the gang don’t plan to rob anything from now on and want to go straight. A few moments of silence passed before anyone spoke.

“So did you guys get to keep the gold?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Darn, you could’ve been driving us around in a Lamborghini or something!” Meena and Ash burst out laughing, and Johnny rolled his eyes. He looked down at the table. How differently would his life have gone if his dad never got arrested? Where would he be right now, because he surely wouldn’t be here talking to Meena and Ash. He figured if he got that off his chest, he might as well keep going. Talking about it was beginning to feel therapeutic, and he hasn’t even gotten to the real reason why they were out here.

“Well, anyway, me dad was pissed, and all but disowned me. It’s why I was so sad after our first performance, even though my song went perfectly.”

“Oh yeah, I remember Rosita asking you ‘What’s with the face?’ but you seemed to shrug it off,” Meena remembered it exactly. “But didn’t you seem happy at the end during bows?”

“Yeah… so my dad saw me singing on the telly and broke out of jail and ran to the theater. He told me he was proud of me and forgave me and all…”

“He broke OUT OF JAIL?!” Ash again had her mouth open wide. Johnny forgot about that detail.

“Yeahhhh…”

“How did we not notice any of this?”

“Well, Mike was singing his performance and Ash had just finished hers, so everyone was essentially distracted. My dad’s escape was why there were helicopters around the theater.”

“Oh my god! I just assumed that was a coincidence or something!” Ash turned to Meena and shook her arm. “Meena! It all makes sense now!”

“But wait, none of this is why we’re here in the first place,” Meena curled her trunk, “Please tell me that what you wanted to tell us originally is just as exciting as your dad being a gold robber!”

“Oh, now look who’s all interested in the gossip,” Johnny smiled then rested his chin in his palm. “To be honest, I don’t know how exciting it’ll be, and I’m kind of nervous to tell you guys,” He stared off out into the valley.

“Well, what’s it about?”

Johnny took a deep breath. Did he want to go and get this off his chest? If he did, then his crush on Ryan would be real. Other people would know and then there was no way to take it back. He thought about Ryan, his smile and green eyes, his mannerisms, the sound of his voice. He felt a swell of feelings almost stronger than the nervousness. His crush was 100% still there, but was it necessarily a bad thing? No one has to act on their crushes, and often people don’t. Moving past the actual crush, he would then have to explain that he’s never had feelings for a guy, only girls. Did this make him bisexual? Or was it just a one-time thing with Ryan? Regardless, three or so days was nowhere near enough time to answer questions like those…

But maybe by telling Ash and Meena, they would be able to give him some useful advice or something. Johnny decided that if he didn’t get it off his chest now, not only would Ash and Meena pester him about it, but the crush itself would figuratively ‘crush’ him, quite ironically. He put his hand over his mouth then realized he was shaking a little. Ash must have noticed.

“Oh, Johnny. If it’s really bothering you, then you don’t have to tell us.” Her voice was soft and empathetic.

“Yeah, we won’t give you a hard time,” Meena locked eyes with Ash, then looked back at Johnny. The two girls had a way of communicating non-verbally that Johnny was a little jealous of. “But we’re your friends, so we want to be there for you!”

You know what? They’re right.

They were his best friends, and when Johnny really thought about it, they’ve been through some truly crazy experiences together in the last year alone, not even counting everything that went wrong during their first show. Meena probably felt the same way he was feeling now when she had to deal with Darius. But she overcame it and came out a better, more confident person. And Ash would never say so, but it was incredibly brave and empathetic of her to stay at Clay Calloway’s house, never giving up on someone who was in a dark place lashing out at any helping hand that came his way. These two were some of the most compassionate animals he’s ever met – if anything, they would go even further for Johnny.

Okay… it’s now or never…

“I… have a crush on someone,” He paused and saw their eyes light up. They locked eyes again.

“Wait, that’s it? Johnny, that’s a great thing! Honestly--”

“It’s not that simple. There’s more…”

“Is it like a homewrecker kind of crush? Because I can tell you, that’s not something you wanna get involved with. Not that I had you pegged as the homewrecking type.”

“No. Please, this is hard enough to get off my chest as is and you guys keep jumping to conclusions!” He raised his voice a little, but it was more in anxiety than frustration. Ash apologized and promised she wouldn’t interrupt anymore. He pulled on his face with his fingertips – something he did when he was stressed – and closed his eyes.

“I, um… I have a crush on… Ryan…” There it was. It was out in the open, but there wasn’t any relief yet. He still needed to hear their reactions. Instead, there was silence, so he was forced to open his eyes. Ash and Meena were holding hands and their mouths were open again in disbelief.

“Uh… guys?” Johnny asked meekly.

“Oh. My. GOD!” They said in perfect tandem and began squealing again in visible excitement. Johnny realized he was holding his breath, so he released, this time feeling tangible relief. They were okay with the revelation. No, they were more than okay with it. Ash turned towards Johnny again, clenching her fists near her chest.

“You and Ryan would be SO CUTE together!” She nearly shouted, and Meena nodded in agreement.

“Hey, keep it down! I don’t need anyone else hearing that!”

“Why? What are you worried about?”

“I’m worried because I’ve only had feelings for girls until now! I have no idea how to process this, and then I think about how my dad reacted to me wanting to be a singer. I have no idea how he would react to me dating a guy!!”

“Oh.”

“Exactly! This may be all fun gossip to you guys, but I’ve had a lifetime of stress to deal with in the last four days and I just want to go home and get in bed and sleep and not have to worry about this anymore, and there’s no way I can continue singing and dancing with Ryan and Dean and Sarah and everyone scrutinizing my every move --!”

Johnny ran out of breath and was borderline hyperventilating, holding his head between his arms on the table by the end of the sentence. Meena stood up and moved to the other side, sitting next to Johnny. She started rubbing his back, and he leaned against her, still breathing hard and exasperated. He had tears in his eyes, but he refused to cry twice on the same vacation. He looked at Ash, who was officially disturbed by his sudden outburst. He broke eye contact.

“Sorry.”

“Johnny. Don’t apologize!” Ash started stern then softened, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Just then, the door to the lodge opened. Johnny’s breath hitched until he saw it was only Nooshy. She saw the trio, smiled, waved, then ran over to them. En route, she quickly noticed that Johnny was visibly upset, and her smile disappeared. Ash whispered to Johnny if she needed to make an excuse to get her to leave, but Johnny declined, saying he could trust Nooshy. Nooshy looked at Ash, who patted the seat next to her. She sat down and folded her hands on the table.

“Is everything alright?”

Ash and Meena both opened their mouths to speak, but Johnny honestly just wanted to avoid a repeat of all the questions and confusion, so he spoke first.

“Yeah, I was just telling Ash and Meena that I have a very confusing and emotional crush on Ryan, among other things.”

All three of them looked at him.

“Soooo, now that that’s out there, um, can we keep it on the down low? At least, until I figure out what I want to do next?” They all nodded. Nooshy looked like she really wanted to say something.

“What, Nooshy?” He said in exhaustion.

“I just have to get this out there really quick, but you and Ryan would be the cutest couple!”

“That’s what I said!” And with that, all the girls were furiously chatting again about dating and boys. Nooshy’s point of view acted as new kindling for that fire. Johnny felt more relaxed now that the spotlight wasn’t directly on him anymore. He spaced out, only half listening to the chatter. Meena began to talk about what she’s been doing since she started dating Alfonso. Ash brought up her issues with Lance, her terrible ex of a porcupine. Johnny noticed that Nooshy didn’t say anything about her dating life – he would have to ask her. In private, of course.

Over a few hours, the conversation drifted to other topics. Johnny began to contribute more and was back to his normal self by the time he received the text from Dean.

Hey! Sarah and I are ready to go get coffee for Ryan now! Meet at the front door in 5!

Johnny sent an okay, then let Ash, Meena, and Nooshy know that he was on his way to get coffee for Ryan. He stood up and headed to go back inside. Nooshy yelled after him.

“Go get ‘em, tiger! And by that I mean go get that tiger!” The girls started laughing.

“Hah hah…” Johnny spouted with sarcasm, but it was exactly the thing he needed to hear from Nooshy. He pulled open the door and waved at the trio before heading inside. Johnny retrieved the bag of clean clothes for Ryan from Rosita. He sat on the couch and waited for Dean and Sarah. There was chatter permeating the lodge as other people moved in and out of the kitchen to eat leftover breakfast. Finally, Dean and Sarah walked down the stairs, calling Johnny’s name to get his attention. He stood up and showed them the bag of Ryan’s clothes, and they left out the front door.

--------

In the cart ride to the coffee place (they ordered ahead on their phones in case supplies ran out before they got there), Dean told Johnny to sit next to him instead of Sarah. Sarah feigned shock and hurt but countered by saying Dean needed more friends anyway. Johnny laughed and thought that it was nice to see them so comfortable around him that they still bantered. When they pulled into the coffee place parking lot, they were able to skip the long line and go straight to the counter to grab their coffees to go. Johnny overheard the cashier telling customers they were beginning to run low on their most popular brews.

Glad we got here when we did.

Dean must have overheard too.

“Good thing we got the coffee,” He took a sip as Sarah nodded. “Ryan gets super grumpy without it.”

“We would have had to leave him in the urgent care for another day, just to avoid his wrath,” Sarah added.

“Oh really? I’ve never actually seen Ryan in a bad mood,” Johnny tried thinking of any hint of frustration or anger from Ryan but couldn’t come up with anything.

“He’s really good at suppressing it and burning it off after rehearsals. Honestly though, there was one time before you guys came to Redshore when Ryan just snapped. It was the only time he ever got in Klaus’s face and it put everyone – and I mean everyone – on edge. No one had ever talked back to Klaus and stayed a student, but Ryan was the up-and-coming star at the time,” Dean’s cheerful expression dimmed.

“The next time anyone else stood up to Klaus without consequences was you,” Sarah pointed a finger at Johnny, “and Klaus finally decided to stop being an ass to everyone.”

“I can’t even imagine Ryan doing that,” When Johnny thought of Ryan, he always pictured a smile on his face. It wasn’t until they got trapped in the cave that he saw Ryan truly frown. He remembered the incident involving the goodbye note and shivered. He pushed the thought away. “Why did he get so angry?”

“It had something to do with his dad, like something that happened when he was a kid.” Dean and Sarah locked eyes as everyone got into the cart. “It’s not really our story to tell though. You’ll have to ask him.”

Johnny nodded. After a big morning of confessions and revelations, it was refreshing to not have to hear more. It was also very mature of Ryan’s friends to not gossip about sensitive subjects that weren’t theirs to tell, a trait he wished some of his cast members would uphold more often.

Sarah started the cart and exited the parking lot. Dean asked if Johnny minded him putting his headphones on. Johnny shook his head.

“Not that I don’t want to talk to you and all, I just have this song that I’ve been trying to memorize for my girlfriend,” Dean pulled out his phone and showed Johnny.

“Oh! You sing?”

“Yeah! I don’t really care to sing on stage – I’ll leave that to you,” He raised his eyebrows at Johnny with a smile, “Oh, speaking of, would you be okay to listen to me later? I want it to be perfect for her!”

“Sure thing, mate.”

Sarah interjected, “He’s planning on proposing to her soon!” The excitement was clear in her voice.

“Oh congrats! What’s her name?”

“Sophia,” Dean said dreamily, his tail curling behind him.

Sarah chuckled, “He’s head over heels crazy for her. It’s actually really sweet. Before they were dating I used to pressure him constantly to ask her out, and then I started nagging him about when he would propose. Now that that step is done, I guess the next step is—” Sarah gasped in excitement, “kids! Oh my God, can I be their godmother?! Or like the fun aunt!?”

“That hasn’t quite come up yet, Sarah!” Dean put his headphones on to block her out. Johnny laughed, then locked eyes with Sarah in the rearview mirror.

“Speaking of relationships, do you have a girl or boyfriend, Johnny?”

“Oh, uh, not currently.” Johnny rubbed his neck and broke eye contact. He didn’t bother specifying or giving any more concrete information. Knowing what he knew about Sarah, it was likely that his response wouldn’t satisfy her curiosity. He would have to give her a little more, but nothing substantial enough to keep her guessing. “Uh, but I guess you could say I’m figuring some stuff out. That’s all I can say for now.” He held up his hands in defense and hoped that would work. Either she sensed his panic, or it satisfied her, because she didn’t ask anything else. They began conversing about other topics the rest of the way there.

---

It wasn’t until they pulled into the urgent care that Johnny realized he was still a little on edge being with Dean and Sarah. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them – he clicked well with them just like Ryan said he would. It was more that he felt the pressure of keeping a secret that weighed down on him, hoping that they wouldn’t somehow connect the dots from bits of information he let out from earlier conversations. They exited the cart and walked inside. The nurses recognized them and waved, letting them pass to the inpatient beds down the hallway. Despite Johnny just having been here yesterday, it felt like several days have passed since.

When they walked through the double doors, they saw Ryan standing between his bed and window. He seemed to be doing stretches, which was made comical by the fact that he was still in a hospital gown. Dean and Sarah thought the same thing.

“Typical. He would be stretching when he should be recovering,” Sarah snuck into the room quietly and quickly. She stood behind him, leaned toward his ear, then spoke an emphasized but not-quite-yelled ‘Hey!’ Ryan yelped and spun around so fast that Johnny thought he would get whiplash or even fall over. Sarah chuckled and sat on the bed as the shock drained from Ryan’s face. Dean and Johnny walked in with grins and waved. Ryan returned the gesture then crossed his arms and started tapping his foot, glaring at Sarah.

“What? Did I scare you or something? Need to stay another day to make sure you’re not having palpitations?”

“Nah, that’s not it,” Ryan pointed out the cup in Sarah’s hand, “just wondering if you brought me anything.”

“Oh, you mean your clothes? Yeah, Dean has them!”

Dean handed the bag over to Ryan.

“Thanks Dean, but—”

“Uh uh uh! No coffee until you’ve changed!” Sarah stood up from the bed and pushed Ryan to the bathroom attached to the main room.

“Okay mom!” Ryan and Sarah laughed. Ryan was larger and taller than Sarah, but he didn’t resist too much.

“Oh please. Your mom loves me,” Sarah said as she pulled the door closed. Johnny felt a rush of… jealousy? The way that Ryan and Sarah acted was definitely like best friends, but there seemed to be a hint of flirting in all their interactions. He looked to the ground, absentmindedly inspecting the linoleum tiles. Maybe that’s why Dean told him not to worry about the weirdness surrounding the black coffee. Maybe Dean knew Sarah was trying to be in a relationship with Ryan and that Johnny didn’t even matter in such a situation. Maybe that’s why Ryan was worried about Sarah becoming friends with Johnny during the hike – not that Johnny wanted to date Sarah, but it’s not like Ryan knew that. Maybe Ryan actually was jealous of her and Johnny becoming friends, because he wants to date her.

Or maybe Johnny was overthinking it and just needed a good night’s sleep in his own bed plus a couple of days away from everyone. As much as it sounded rude to say something like that, Johnny was sure that everyone else was feeling somewhat similarly. Dean tapped his shoulder and he looked back up.

“You doing okay? You sort of spaced out for a second.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. I’m just looking forward to being home.”

“You got family at home?”

“Yeah, me dad and his gang. They’re practically family at this point. I’m sure you saw them at Mr. Crystals theatre – they were our bodyguards.”

“Oh, that was your family!?” Sarah walked over. “Which one was the big one? He was handsome and strong!” Her ears lowered as she seemed to be deep in thought about those two features. Sometimes Sarah seemed a bit… ditzy, like Porsha, despite Ryan explaining how logical she usually was.

“…that was my dad…” Johnny looked to Dean, who rolled his eyes and whispered a firm ‘Sarah!’

Okay, so maybe Sarah doesn’t have a thing for Ryan… Maybe she has a thing for older guys…

Johnny shivered. He was unsettled by the concept of Sarah trying to get with his dad – Sarah was only a few years older than him! Thankfully, Ryan chose that moment to exit the bathroom. He had his jean jacket back on, cleaned and ironed to look brand new. There wasn’t a single blemish or blood stain. Rosita had 25 wild children who probably got scrapes and cuts all the time – she’s probably perfected a fool-proof method to remove blood stains by now. Ryan did a quick twirl for added effect, then placed the hospital gown on his bed.

“How do I look? And can I have my coffee now?”

Johnny handed the cup to Ryan.

“You look great. Maybe there’s hope for my leather jacket.”

“Well, if anyone can fix it, it’ll be Rosita.”

A nurse came over and let them know Ryan was all good to go. He grabbed the prescription from the nightstand and then they all headed out down the hallway to the front entrance, waving bye to the nurses. The sliding doors retracted and let in a blast of fresh air – Johnny could only imagine how nice it felt for Ryan who had to spend the night here.

The rental cart had just enough space for the four of them. It felt miniature next to the regular cars in the lot, which got Johnny thinking about vehicles. Since he still lived at the garage, he’s always driven his dad’s truck. Now that he was older and earning an income from shows, maybe he would go and buy his own truck. That was something to talk about with his dad and the gang when he got back.

Ryan and Johnny sat in the back of the cart, Dean and Sarah in the front. They drove to a local pharmacy to fill Ryan’s prescription and then headed back to the lodge. Ryan took the first dose of his antibiotics with the remainder of his coffee, then asked Sarah why they gave him a black coffee. She laughed and didn’t respond, so Ryan looked to Johnny. They both shrugged in sync.

Eventually the cart made it back to the lodge. Everyone except Sarah jumped out since she was responsible for returning it. They would go and pick her up from the rental building on route back to Calatonia. The three of them walked up the stairs and entered the lodge.

Everyone was in the middle of packing up, but they all took a quick break to celebrate Ryan’s return. Meena baked a red velvet cake – Ryan’s favorite. Johnny made a mental note of that in case a future occasion arose. After the quick celebration, Johnny went to his room to pack. Before he knew it, everyone was out the lodge and on the bus that would take them back to Calatonia. Back to semi-regular life filled with long rehearsals, early wake up times, choreo and piano lessons. Johnny thought one last time of the family of sheep in the photo and realized he wouldn’t trade his life for any other.

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

Wow…

That was all Ryan could initially think as he watched the sun set on the horizon through the charter bus window. The colors in the sky were a brilliant, shifting blur made by an invisible artist who took a sampling of every color of the rainbow and seemingly painted with a brush filled with bristles of wind. Then as time passed, Ryan imagined the artist adding and removing shades, never fully satisfied with the outcome, stuck to try again from scratch tomorrow and for eternity. As the sun dipped beyond the horizon into twilight, the sky shifted again from light pastels towards pink and purple, then into darker shades of blue, a veritable reflection of the artist’s growing sadness and desperation. Sure, Ryan could sketch, but he would never have such masterful command of color like this. And that was okay with him.

The buses had just come out the other side of the mountains after a few hours of driving. They would be back in Calatonia soon, and normal-ish life would begin again. Ryan split off from the original Mr. Moon troupe to hang with his Redshore City friends who were sitting at the back of the bus. Kirk, Chloe, and other choreo students were genuinely trying to hold back from bombarding him with questions about ‘the cave’, but he could tell they were struggling. He gave them free reign to ask questions for an hour, then after that he asked for peace and quiet. This worked out surprisingly well, and now that the sun had set, people were beginning to fall asleep.

He reached into his backpack and pulled out his smashed phone. If he needed to contact anyone, it would have to be through Dean or Sarah’s phones. His plan, besides buying a new one, was to attempt to download the photos, contacts, and all. Just because the screen wasn’t working doesn’t mean the data stored inside was lost. Besides, all he could think of was the photo he took of him and Johnny on the mountain. It was the only one he had of them not in costume or in cast group photos, so it was treasured.

Ryan replaced the phone and pulled out his journal/sketchbook. He inspected the partially completed sketch of Johnny and smiled. It was turning out better than he thought, probably because there was actual lighting on the bus unlike in the cave. He would have to finish it later. He flipped through the rest of the sketchbook and took a moment to reflect on each drawing. This wasn’t his first sketchbook of course – he had a few at home – but this was the one that he felt most connected to. It contained memories and fragments of almost all the best moments of his young adult life to date as well as more mundane moments during rehearsals.

Ryan flipped to a random page and saw a rough sketch of Dean talking to his soon-to-be fiancée. He was practicing sketching them because he wanted to sketch the proposal when it happened, and it would have to be done quickly. He wanted to gift the proposal sketch to Dean and Sophia, and it would totally be worth it to see Dean cry over a few pencil lines on paper. Oh, and even though Ryan was pretty much guaranteed to be best man, this last act would at least solidify that position.

There was a static sound heard throughout the bus. Ryan looked up to the front and saw Mr. Moon sitting on the top of a bus seat holding a microphone. Ryan slid the sketchbook back into his backpack and zipped it closed.

I wonder what this is about…

“Hey guys! If I could have your attention for a minute,” Mr. Moon paused to let sleeping members wake up. “So, we’re less than an hour away from Calatonia, and I’m sure you’re all eager to get home and go to bed. I know that I’ve been fairly withholding on any knew information about our next musical, but there’s a good explanation for that. I have a big announcement to make!”

There was a flurry of whispers, and Ryan looked to the front of the bus where the OG troupe members sat. They seemed equally confused – Mr. Moon must not have told them yet either.

“As many of you are aware, Nana Noodleman has been a valued philanthropist for our theater several times in the past. Well, she continues to be today as she’s extremely satisfied with the work you all have been doing and shows you’ve been performing! So, it’s my pleasure to announce that our local theater is getting a new location and massive upgrade in size!”

The whispers grew to full-on chatter. Mr. Moon continued.

“Nana and I finalized the decisions and payments over the vacation. I planned to make the announcement earlier, but obviously Ryan and Johnny were way more important at the time. Now, I know some of you may have questions about what this means, but please save your questions for tomorrow where I’ll be at my current office in the old theater. Since the new one is still being constructed, I plan on postponing rehearsals for a few days. Take the time to relax with family and friends if you can.”

Mr. moon shifted his focus towards the back of the bus to the Redshore City cast.

“And for my Redshore friends, I know many of you don’t currently live in Calatonia. But don’t worry, Ms. Crawly and I are fully willing to help you guys find housing over the next few days. For now, we’ll keep you in the nicest hotel that Calatonia has to offer!”

Wow!

Ryan wasn’t expecting to get another few days off rehearsals. Everyone was buzzing and talking about what this meant going forward. Most of the Redshore cast didn’t live in Redshore City permanently anyway – Mr. Crystal and then Mr. Moon kept them in really nice hotels there too. But now that Mr. Moon was planning on having Calatonia become the major production center permanently, it was seeming like they would need to get houses or apartments. Since Kickenklober and his choreo class was always in high demand across the western part of the country, Ryan and his friends were used to traveling and constantly being on the move. It wouldn’t be too crazy for them to live in Calatonia for the time being.

Mr. Moon turned off the mic and hopped down from the back of the chair. Sarah and Dean, who were sitting in the seats in front of Ryan, hopped up and turned to him.

“Ryan! If we have to move to Calatonia anyway, we should all get an apartment together!”

“Uh…” It was a good idea to him, but one doesn’t just immediately decide to live with other people on a whim, even if they were your best friends. Friendships could be destroyed over the course of a 12-month lease.

“Why the hesitation?” Dean crossed his arms on the top of the seat and laid his chin on them. “Do you already have other people to live with?”

“Wait!” Sarah leaned in close and whispered, “Maybe you’re thinking about moving in with Johnny!”

“No! Johnny lives with his family. That would be weird,” Dean took the words right out of Ryan’s mouth.

“Oh right. Well, baby steps for now,” Sarah leaned back up. “We can talk more about it tomorrow, and we should let our own families know too.”

Ryan nodded and then the canine and vulpine turned and sat down. Ryan turned his attention back to the window. The remaining scattered sunlight was fully dissipated – it was officially nighttime. He saw buildings on the horizon, and traffic was beginning to pick up. The few skyscrapers in the downtown area were dotted with small, rectangular lights of distant windows. They weren’t as tall as the skyscrapers in Redshore City, but they were familiar and comforting. They were almost back to Calatonia, his soon to be permanent home.

Johnny’s POV

“Thanks for the lift!” Johnny waved to everyone remaining on the charter bus, then turned to face his home of a garage. Initially, it served as a great façade to deter cops on the gang’s trail. Now that the gang didn’t rob banks anymore, it was just…home. A few months ago, he thought about asking his dad if they would ever move, but then concluded that he didn’t want to. At that moment, Nooshy put her elbow against Johnny’s shoulder and leaned on him.

“So, this is where you live? I like it! It’s sort of hipster.”

“Don’t tell me dad you said that. He’ll riot!”

“Are you sure it’s okay that I stay here for a few days?” Nooshy took her elbow off Johnny and put her hands into her pockets.

“Sure! I already asked and he’s cool with you from the last time you met,” Johnny said, thinking back to the whole Crystal entertainment debacle. A gust of wind blew past, making Johnny shiver. He didn’t want to put on his damaged and battered jacket because it would just remind everyone of what he had gone through. He talked to Rosita on the bus, who looked at his jacket and determined it wouldn’t be worth the effort to fix. He was obviously bummed, so Rosita tried to cheer him up by saying he could afford a nicer one now.

“All right, big guy. Let’s get you inside.”

Johnny pulled out his key and opened the solid metal door. The door was worn and weathered, rusted all over the place, but Johnny knew exactly how to position the key so that the lock mechanism wouldn’t catch on the internal rust. It was just a habit Johnny picked up after living there for so long, but it was a tiny, welcome solace. The same way kids knew how to walk around their house at night in the dark or knew how many appliances they could have running at a single time before the fuse tripped in a specific outlet. He swung the heavy door open and stepped inside. Nooshy closed it behind them.

“Dad, I’m home!”

His dad and the gang came around the corner briskly from a room deeper in the garage. As soon as his dad saw him, his face lit up with a beaming smile. He was wearing his favorite dark blue button up with black khakis. Stan and Barry had on similar outfits with their own personal touches.

“Johnny!” The designation was filled with elation tinted with worry – the kind of worry that only parents could feel.

“Hey—” But before Johnny could finish, he was pulled into a hug so tight that it reintroduced the pain of his bruises. Not that he would ever complain. His dad released him several seconds later, allowing him to take a breath of air, and focused his attention on Nooshy.

“Nice to see you again, Nooshy,” Big Daddy held out his hand to shake. “I appreciate you always taking care of Johnny.”

“Of course!” She shook his hand. “He does the same for me.”

His dad looked back at Stan and Barry and nodded. They whispered something to his dad, and he nodded again before they walked back to the room they were just in. They made sure to wave to Johnny before they rounded the corner. His dad looked back at him.

“Well, uh, Mr. Moon basically kept me updated with all the details, so uh, I won’t ask what happened or anythin’… But you’re okay, right?” His dad looked… dreadful. Now that Johnny was here and up close, he realized it was probably the first moment of relief for his dad in days. He tried to smile but it faltered.

“Yeah dad, I’m… I’m alright. But how ‘bout you?”

His dad laughed his big laugh and pulled Johnny into another hug.

“Hey, don’t worry about your father. I’m doin’ just fine now that you’re here,” he released Johnny. “Besides, Stan and Barry were here to keep me company.”

It was comforting that his dad, for as strong and overtly masculine as he was, needed and accepted company from Stan and Barry. Johnny would have to thank them privately.

They wrapped up greetings and decided to give Nooshy a quick tour of the garage. She loved every part of it, even the parts that his dad said were messy and needed to be cleaned. She offset it by saying that her room was much messier. At one point, Johnny broke off to throw his and Nooshy’s backpacks and suitcases into his room. When he returned, Nooshy was holding up a framed photo. It was a picture of his dad and him when he was small, back when his dad was teaching Johnny how to walk.

“Johnny! Look how cute you were!” She gushed.

“Are you sayin’ I’m not cute anymore?” He walked past her into the kitchen, where his dad was getting ready to cook a frozen pepperoni pizza. Stan and Barry must have left when he was gone – they had their own homes to return to and it was getting late. He grabbed two sodas from the fridge and tossed one to Nooshy, who managed to catch it in one hand while holding the photo in the other.

“Welllll, let’s just say it’s really what’s on the inside that matters,” She joked, which elicited a hearty laugh from his dad. He slid the pizza in the oven and set the timer, and Nooshy replaced the photo on the table against the wall.

“It’s nice to have guests over. Johnny never really had friends over growing up,” Big Daddy said, but realized how that sounded so he held up his hands, “but that was mostly my fault! I didn’t exactly give him a normal childhood.” Johnny could hear the remorse in his dad’s voice.

“It’s okay dad! Really, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t the easiest lad to raise,” Johnny tried to nip this conversation in the bud – He only just managed to explain his dad’s previous illicit occupation to Meena and Ash, but he would have to explain it to Nooshy later. At this moment, he was just hungry and tired.

“Ah, well, keep an eye on the pizza. I’m gonna go and lock up the garage and shut the exterior lights off,” Big Daddy walked out of the kitchen but paused midway, “Oh, and there’s spare blankets and pillows for Nooshy in the closet.”

“Thanks, dad!” Nooshy called out, making Big Daddy chuckle again on his way out of the garage.

“You’re really something else, you know that?” Johnny took a sip of his soda and cheered Nooshy’s.

“Yeah, I know, and everyone loves me!”

They sat and chatted until the pizza was finished. Johnny pulled it out of the oven and inspected the bubbling, melted cheese and savory pepperoni. It was the cheap generic kind he grew up with, but after experiencing moderate starvation only a day prior, it looked like the best gourmet pizza in the world. He cut the pizza and grabbed a few plates for everyone, then set everything at the kitchen island. There were four stools to sit on that were hardly ever used, and they were never all used at the same time since he didn’t have a traditional nuclear family. In the past, Johnny would take his food back to his room in typical moody teenager fashion, but that didn’t feel right this time. His dad walked in from the exterior and said goodnight, but Johnny insisted that he join them and have some slices.

“Oh, I don’t want to get in the way—”

“Dad, please. I could’ve died this week, and it made me realize I should spend more time with you,” Johnny put a plate at the seat next to Nooshy, “so sit. Eat.” There was a hesitation, but then his dad smiled and sat next to Nooshy.

Johnny grabbed his dad’s favorite beer from the fridge, popped it open, and slid it to him. His dad thanked him by raising his glass – a simple gesture, but he could tell from the look in his dad’s eyes that him being included meant a lot. They spent the next hour or so eating, talking, and laughing, and eventually everyone forgot about ‘the cave’. Nooshy told some embarrassing stories of Johnny on set, making his dad howl raucously. His dad upped the ante with funny childhood stories of Johnny. Johnny absolutely didn’t mind though, and his chest was warmed both with pizza and friendship. At some point the laughter died down and was replaced with deep, wide-mouth yawning between quiet bits of dialogue, and then the brief supper was over. Johnny and Nooshy helped clean up the plates, and then everyone went to bed.

Johnny laid on his back and stared at his ceiling. Nooshy slumbered on an air mattress on the floor next to him. She didn’t snore, but he could hear a faint, repetitive whistle of air that indicated she was indeed fully asleep. He pulled out his phone to check for messages, clicking on Ryan’s contact. There was nothing – Ryan probably hadn’t replaced his phone yet. Johnny turned his phone off and set it on his nightstand, then readjusted his pillow beneath his head.

It didn’t take long for him to drift off. He began to dream of them all eating the same pizza from earlier, but eventually Nooshy disappeared and was replaced by Ryan, who smiled and told the same embarrassing stories to his dad. His dad laughed just as hard at Ryan’s stories as he did with Nooshy and seemed to like him just as much. Johnny’s mouth twitched into a soft smile, breaking through the paralysis that sleep inflicted.

Maybe things will work out. Maybe Ryan and I will be okay.

-----

Ryan’s POV

Meet me at 815 Dinsdale Street!

Ryan’s phone was the newest model on the market. He figured he could splurge and treat himself a little after the vacation-gone-wrong, which was now about a week ago. Mr. Moon decided that he would not only pay for the cast’s hotel rooms, but he would start payroll early for the next show, so Ryan could afford it. Mr. Moon, Ms. Crawly, Gunter, and Klaus were all busy at work designing the plot, choreo, set, and other details. It would be at least another few days before the script and choreo was done, and the script was the bare minimum necessary to start rehearsals. In the meantime, everyone was busy exploring Calatonia. The members originally from Calatonia were nice enough to share all their favorite attractions and restaurants, so there was plenty to do and see. In some ways, it felt like another vacation, this time without the chance of falling off a mountain.

Sarah texted Ryan and Dean her list of apartments that she thought they could rent while they lived in Calatonia. She came up with a spreadsheet that listed a dozen different factors and ratings, including price, distance from the new Moon theater, utilities included, furnished, et cetera. Her logical side really lit up with this sort of thing, and Ryan and Dean were more than happy to let her take the reins for now. When she had the best ten or so different apartments, the next step was to go and tour them. She even came up with an itinerary to minimize the travel time between apartments in conjunction with tour times offered by the apartments.

815 Dinsdale Street was high on the ranking but the last apartment to tour. Sarah had to break off with them from the last apartment to go and meet her parents, who offered to drive her car to Calatonia so that one of the three of them had reliable transportation. Dean and Ryan stood outside the three-storied modernized brick building and waited for Sarah, who was even able to factor her separation and arrival into the itinerary. The apartment itself was located on a busy street that had plenty of restaurants, stores, and other useful venues within walking distance. It also had 24/7 public transit that could take them straight to the theater if Sarah’s car was occupied and unavailable.

There was a honk, and a red convertible pulled up next to them. Sarah, who was wearing a chic sunhat and sunglasses, waved and put the car in park. The spot had a sign with the words ‘prospective tenant parking,’ so she didn’t have to pay. She got out and walked up to them, clearly in a good mood having her car back after so long without it.

“Hey boys! Ready to check out the last apartment?”

“I have a good feeling about this one,” Dean pointed up to the top floor. “They said they have a third floor 3bed/3bath available right? So, we won’t hear any footsteps from noisy neighbors above us.”

Ryan nodded, making a mental note of that to go back and compare to the other apartments from earlier. They went in and informed the secretary that they were here for an apartment tour. The secretary went to the back and grabbed some documents, then pulled out a key from a drawer at her desk. They followed her to the elevator, went up two stories, then walked to the apartment. The hallways were well-kept and well-lit, so it wasn’t sketchy like some of the other apartments they toured. Ryan was okay with downgrading to save a little money, but Sarah had standards and wouldn’t go for anything less than four stars ratings. The secretary gave her charismatic spiel the whole time, but after hours of essentially the same sales pitch over and over at all the previous tours, Ryan tuned it out.

The secretary opened the door and let them in the apartment. It was furnished, and the furniture was brand new after a quick remodel by the leasing company – Another positive. Over the next 30 minutes, the secretary showed them around each room, and each room ticked off a box on their wants and needs list. The kitchen was large, the windows let in plenty of natural light, the bedrooms had walk-in closets, and on and on. By the end of the tour, it was clear that this one was the winner. The secretary could tell that she had sold them on the space and let them know that if they were so inclined, they could sign the lease right now, provided they had the deposit ready to go. If they did this, they could move in immediately, a situation essentially unheard of when browsing apartments.

“Okay guys, quick huddle,” Dean pulled them in as the secretary waited by the door.

“Oh I can already imagine my clothes layout in my closet! Four seasons, winter in the back, summer in the front, and plenty of room for all my odds and ends!”

“Focus Sarah, this apartment is on the more expensive side. Are we okay to commit to this?”

“Well, it was a tie between this and the one on the East side of the city, but then you mentioned the thing about it being on the third floor which gave it first place, so yeah! I’m down!”

“Okay, me too. And if we don’t sign today, someone may come in tomorrow and snatch it from us.”

“Ooh good point.”

“What’s the deposit again?”

“First month’s rent, plus the application fees and all. It should be on the spreadsheet, but I know we can afford it with Mr. Moon’s payments.”

“Anything that you didn’t like? Really wrack your brains.”

“Well, I didn’t like the shade of paint in one of the bedrooms, but we can figure out which rooms we want later.”

“The faucet in the kitchen sink had a slight leak – I guess I can let maintenance know.”

“Speaking of water, do you think it tastes funny? I wonder if that’s just the whole city.”

Dean and Sarah went back and forth like this for a few minutes, not even wondering if Ryan had anything to add. Seeing Dean and Sarah equally pressed about seemingly inconsequential details was extremely amusing. At the same time, he was so impressed by this expeditious conversation that he didn’t bother interrupting and disrupting the flow. Instead, Ryan looked away from the huddle toward the secretary. She was on her phone but looked at Ryan and smiled. He meekly returned the smile and held up a finger, mouthing ‘one more minute,’ then reinserted himself into the huddle.

“What did I miss?” Ryan asked.

“We’re gonna sign for it!” Sarah jumped up excitedly.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to not have to share hotel rooms with three other people,” Dean shook Ryan by the shoulders, who was feeling more and more excited about living here. The secretary cleared her throat, and they broke the huddle.

“So, have you come to a decision?”

“Yes! We’ll take it! I mean—We’ll sign for it!”

“Wonderful! And I already let maintenance know about the faucet,” She smiled cordially.

It didn’t take long for them to fill out all the paperwork and write a check for the first month’s rent and deposit. They drove to the hotel to check out and get their luggage after letting Mr. Moon know so that he wouldn’t have to keep paying hotel fees. He congratulated them for finding their new home and then said he had some exciting roles that he was writing for the three of them - He would keep everyone updated in the meantime. The trio stopped at one of the stores below their new home and bought groceries as well as a bottle of champagne to celebrate. They made simple sandwiches as their first meal together, then toasted to Ryan’s health and a good year in showbiz.

“Thanks! I love you guys.” Ryan got up to the other side of the table and drew his friends into a hug, then stole some chips off Sarah’s plate and sat back down, tossing the chips into his mouth. “Mmmm, we need to buy that flavor again!”

“It’s Thai sweet chili flavored,” She curled open the bag and poured more chips onto her plate and Ryan’s, “and they’re a special flavor, so like, don’t eat them all!”

“Wait, guys! I just had a great idea! We should have a house-warming party!” Dean swallowed a bite of his sandwich.

“Oh my God yes! And we can invite the rest of the cast,” Sarah pointed to Ryan, “and you can invite Johnny!”

“Sure thing,” Ryan pulled out his new phone and sent Johnny a text – not because Sarah told him to but because he forgot to tell Johnny that he got his new phone.

Hey! Got my new phone and my new apartment! If you need a place to crash, it’s 815 Dinsdale Street Apt 300

Ryan waited a second, and then Johnny heart-reacted his message.

I’ll show you my place if you show me yours!

Of course! We’re planning on throwing a house-warming party in the near future. Stay tuned for details

Sounds like a plan!

It’s only been a week since Ryan last saw Johnny, but he must have really missed him because his text made him thoughtlessly smile wide enough to make Dean and Sarah snicker at him. He shushed them but kept smiling. The cellphone service store was able to recover his data off the old one, and Ryan made Johnny’s profile pic the photo of them on the hike. He inspected his face in the photo, which was not yet blemished by the scar of the gash. It was on track to heal well enough that his fur would cover it, but if anyone parted the fur they would notice it. Earlier in the week, his mom stopped by to drop off some belongings at the hotel. He tried to hide the wound, but his mom caught it immediately, saying classic doting mom phrases like ‘my poor baby,’ and ‘oh your pretty face!’

Ryan looked at Johnny in the photo. The lighting highlighted his red-brown fur well, which vividly accented his brown eyes. And then add the smile and leather jacket - Johnny was very photogenic. Ryan’s scarred cheek was burning suddenly, making his smile fade.

Crap, is it still infected? I finished all the antibiotics…

He touched his scar, which was warm. Sarah calmly inspected him, but Dean had gotten up at some point to go to his room, which now had the door closed. How did he not even notice Dean leave?

“Hey, I’ll be right back,” He stood up from his chair and walked to his room, phone in hand.

“You okay, Ryan?” She called after him.

“Yeah, just checking my scar.”

Ryan went into his bathroom and quietly shut the door. Standing in front of the mirror, he craned his neck and gently parted his fur with his thumb. The wound wasn’t red or inflamed or anything out of the ordinary. He traced his thumb up the length of the scar and shivered from the heightened sensitivity, or allodynia as the doctor called it, who then told him it could take a few weeks or months to improve. Just then, his phone buzzed. He let go of his face and pulled up his phone. It was Johnny.

Hey, we should go for a run and coffee in the morning. I can show you the best spots!

There was a delay, then another message came through.

I feel like you kind of like coffee, but I could be wrong

It was followed by a wink emoji. His scar started burning again, but this time his other cheek was warm too. He wanted to smile at Johnny’s joke, but the warmth distracted him. He stared into his own eyes – his pupils were dilated.

Oh…

Ryan was blushing, and he blushed harder out of embarrassment at the thought that he mistook the simple vasomotor response as a recurrent infection. He shook his head, then broke eye contact and replied to Johnny.

Just a little haha

Then he put his phone into his pocket, turned on the faucet, and splashed cold water on his face a few times.

What the heck is going on?

He stared at his face, the wet fur clumping together and dripping onto the white ceramic sink bowl. Sarah’s earlier comment about the water tasting weird interrupted his thoughts, so he cupped his hand, filled it with water, and took a sip. It tasted fine to him, just a little heavy on the chlorine. They could go and buy a Brita filter or something later. He grabbed a towel and dried his face, taking care not to irritate his wound, then walked back to the kitchen. Sarah was gone now, so it was just his plate left. He sat down and finished in silence.

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV

“So fill me in, have ya heard anything about the choreo from Klaus?” Johnny was standing under a tall oak tree, leaning against a bench and stretching his legs. Nooshy was on the other side, sitting and tying her running shoes. They were up at the crack of dawn at Johnny’s favourite park in Calatonia, which featured open grass fields, a large pond with a fountain and several benches encircling, and a wide running path that meandered around the perimeter for a circuit of about a kilometer.  Despite it being early, dozens of other animals were already utilizing the recreational spaces. The weather was on the warmer side for the spring and was already trending to approach summer temps by noon. As an animal with dark black fur, Johnny was glad they decided to run before the sun became unbearable.

“I heard that they’re almost done with the general plot and script,” She stood and started stretching her left arm against her chest, “but I have no idea what it is.”

“Seems a bit unusual to keep you out of the loop,” Johnny hopped up and grabbed his leg from behind, pulling and stretching his quads.

“Actually, that’s all my choice, mate. I wanna perform this time. It would be boring for me to plan my own choreo – I wanna be surprised by it,” She turned toward Johnny. “Does that make sense?”

Johnny shrugged then switched legs. “Well, I’m getting a little stir-crazy sitting in the garage all day so I’m ready to get back to work, surprising choreo or not.” Nooshy agreed, then looked at the traffic passing by on the street near the park.

“Anyway, where’s that tiger? You did invite him, right?” She looked at her watch before stretching the other arm.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, he’s coming. He had to take the bus because only Sarah has a car and she’s out doing whatever it is she does this early.”

“Well, before he gets here lets go over some safe words and all.”

“Safe words? Why?”

“Well I want to be a good wingman for you, and in case anything goes wrong you can like, pull your ear or cough into your elbow or say something,” She demonstrated for him.

“Oi, what could go wrong? We’re just going for a run, that’s all.”

“Okay, remember a couple days ago when your dad asked you about Ryan at dinner and you sort of panicked?”

“Oi, I didn’t panic! It just surprised me, that’s all!”

“Dude, you choked on your water. And then later, your dad asked if there was anyone special you were seeing in the theater, and you totally acted sketchy.”

“All I said was ‘no’!”

“But it was the way you said it. You kept breaking eye contact and fidgeting with your silverware and all,” She got her earbuds out of her pocket and put them in. “It was cute and all, and you’re lucky your dad probably doesn’t notice things like that, but Ryan might.”

“Alright fine, maybe I get a bit nervous, but I’m not gonna shout a safe word if there’s no context—!”

“Uh, what sort of conversation am I walking into here?”

Johhny spun around to the familiar voice behind him. Ryan was standing with his arms crossed, wearing a white t-shirt and blue running shorts. The t-shirt was on the tighter side and outlined his torso and form well, and Johnny had to fight not to stare for too long. Before he could speak, Nooshy answered.

“Hey Ryan! I was just telling Johnny he should do my hardcore exercise routine class that I signed up for.”

Ryan had a confused look on his face. He lifted one hand and twirled it in front of his chest, “But what does that have to do –”

“With safe words? It’s so intense that the instructor makes everyone come with a safe word if they feel like they’re going to pass out from dehydration or exhaustion or something.”

“Uh-huh… Tell me the name so I can stay far away from that place. I’ve gotten enough abuse from Klaus to last me a lifetime.”

“Actually, I was thinking of telling Klaus he needs to step it up with you guys. You know, 12-hour rehearsals, no bathroom or lunch breaks, strict auditions, the works.”

Both Johnny and Ryan began frantically shouting no and pleading to Nooshy, who laughed.

“I’m only joking guys!”

“But it’s Klaus. He might entertain 12-hour rehearsals if you told him to do it!” Johnny looked wide-eyed between Ryan and Nooshy. Ryan nodded, but Nooshy shook her head.

“Relax guys. I’ve actually gotten to know Klaus pretty well since working with him. He’s not all that bad.”

“Maybe my safe words will be ‘I love Klaus,’” Johnny said, and Ryan chuckled and patted him on the back. Nooshy rolled her eyes and started her music. She waved and took off running. It was crazy how flawlessly Nooshy transitioned the safe word context when Ryan showed up. Thank goodness she did – despite him arguing with her that he didn’t get nervous around the topic of a certain apex feline, he knew that she was right. He would have flubbed his response if Nooshy didn’t speak up so quickly.

Johnny chuckled and turned to Ryan.

“Did you stretch already? I can stay here with you.”

“I appreciate it, but I stretched before I came here. I’m all set.” Ryan lifted one leg and grabbed his knee, pulling the leg to his abdomen to do a final quick stretch, then repeated for the other leg. He jumped up and down in rapid, short hops as if he were jump-roping, probably to get his heart rate up and blood flowing. Ryan finished and gave Johnny a thumbs up and a smile.

The two of them took off running after Nooshy. They ran around the loop several times, making small talk whenever they weren’t out of breath. There was a gentle breeze that kept Johnny relatively cool, and he had no trouble matching Ryan’s pace despite Ryan being one of the faster animals on the planet.

By lap six, Johnny felt he had run enough and began to cool down. Ryan agreed and slowed alongside Johnny. Nooshy appeared to still be running – they could catch her on her return lap and let her know they were finished. They sat back under the oak tree they started at, the shade taking the heat of the sun off them, both out of breath. Johnny pulled open his drawstring bag and pulled two water bottles out, giving one of them to Ryan. Ryan thanked him and took a swig, then poured some onto his head and face. Johnny observed, catching a glimpse of Ryan’s scar before looking away. They both sat silently, watching the other people in the park.

There was another couple running by that must have been training for a long-distance race since they were already on the track when Nooshy and Johnny arrived. They smiled through their exhaustion as they passed and Johnny waved. Other recreationalists passed, some waving, some politely nodding, some too focused to acknowledge Johnny in any way. By now, Johnny’s pulse and breath were at baseline, and judging by the silent respirations next to him, so were Ryan’s. He looked at Ryan and saw that his eyes were closed, but more in a meditative state than a slumber.

Johnny inspected Ryan for a few more seconds. He had this growing desire to lay his head down on Ryan’s shoulder and sleep, but that would probably be too forward. He suppressed the desire and looked away up to the lower canopy of the tree.

A soft breeze rustled the tree, brushing a leaf loose. Johnny watched as it floated down a few meters in front of him, pulled along by the breeze before landing on the path. A group of young kids rode by on bikes, all shouting and laughing in typical juvenescent fashion – slightly too rambunctious but not enough to warrant shushing and disrupting their fun.

One of them rode over the leaf, breaking Johnny’s trance and catching his attention. There was a young mountain gorilla on that bike. He was smiling and joking with his friends, standing up on his bike pedals to appear taller than his friends. His blue t-shirt matched the blue frame of the bike and reminded Johnny of a similar bike he had when he was about that age. That was also around the time his dad started really getting involved with the gang and robberies, so Johnny used that bike exponentially less and less from then on. By the time he was a teen, he’d outgrown the bike and never used it again. If he looked hard enough, he could probably find the bike somewhere in his garage, hidden under piles of junk that built up over the last decade.

The group of young animals sent a bittersweet feeling through his body. It felt like he was watching his childhood as it would’ve been had his dad never started the gang. There was a pang of longing, followed by one of guilt. Johnny had been here several times before though. He took a deep breath and centered himself, covering up the negative emotions with the mastery of someone who has been doing this for nearly a decade.

Just then, both of their phones went off simultaneously. Nooshy finally ran up to them and had her phone out. Her expression grew into a wide grin as she approached. Ryan and Johnny stood up and pulled out their phones. Mr. Moon sent them all the same text.

Show is up and running! First rehearsal starts tomorrow morning!

“Yes!” Ryan punched the air in a manner very similar to how Johnny did when he got excited, then turned to Johnny. “Oi, let’s go to the fanciest coffee shop in Calatonia to celebrate!”

Johnny stared. “Mate, did you just say ‘oi’?”

Nooshy laughed and leaned against Johnny, her mouth agape with clear disbelief.

“Oh, uh, I guess it slipped in there… You probably put it in my vocabulary when I was asleep in the cave or something.” Ryan crossed his arms.

“What, like post-hypnotic suggestion?”

“Yes, exactly!” He turned to Nooshy, “Who knows what other British propaganda he’s snuck into my mind, but if I start asking for fish and chips then blame Johnny.”

“Oi, what’s wrong with fish and chips?”

“French fries are not chips.”

“Well French fries aren’t even French, so that’s wrong too.”

They started going back and forth on the differences in dialects as they walked to Johnny’s truck, Nooshy occasionally egging it on by throwing in her two cents on the matter. It was a fun-hearted debate. By the end of it, they agreed to get fish and chips for lunch regardless of what the dish was called - That was a win for everyone in Johnny’s eyes.

-------

Johnny’s POV

The three of them decided to go and check out Ryan’s apartment after lunch. There was a bit of an unexpected stormfront rolling in, and the weather warned of potential 100 kph wind gusts and the risk of hail among other things. Johnny, gripping the steering wheel of his truck, looked up through the windshield at the plump, ominous clouds that were shifting and undulating. Ryan was sitting in the passenger seat and navigating. He noticed the unnatural weather too.

“Weird, we weren’t supposed to get any weather today,” Ryan switched to the weather app on his phone, “according to the app, it’s still supposed to be sunny all day. Maybe they haven’t updated it or something.”

“Well, let’s just hope it holds off for us to get to your apartment…”

“Take a left here,” Ryan returned to navigating for Johnny. After a few minutes of meandering through lunchtime traffic, they arrived at the guest parking space for the apartment complex. Johnny pulled in to one of the remaining spaces and put the truck in park, then pulled his keys from the ignition and hopped out the truck. Ryan and Nooshy followed. Johnny inspected the apartment buildings, noticing the red color of the brick was exaggerated against the dark clouds of the sky. There was an uneasy feeling building in his stomach. Ryan overtook the group to enter the code for the front entrance. They entered, waving to the secretary that recognized Ryan.

“Hey Ryan! How was your first night?”

“Oh, it was great! Glad we found this place!”

The secretary smiled and then made eye contact with Johnny. He noticed that the secretary had an unusual shade of red lipstick on. If Johnny didn’t know any better, he would have said it looked like…blood. He looked closer and it seemed like there was some smudged onto her teeth.

Oh well, it’s probably a trick of the light.

She kept smiling at him as they walked down the hall toward the elevator. Johnny stared right on back, now walking slightly slower than Ryan and Nooshy, who were talking about apartment decorations or something. He didn’t totally know why – the secretary was starting to spook him with her unblinking, unwavering stare and smile.

Maybe she’s profiling me or something…

Johnny finally broke eye contact and sped up to catch up to Ryan and Nooshy. Ryan hit the elevator button absentmindedly. The doors opened from the center with a ding and the trio stepped inside. Johnny turned and stared at the floor, inspecting a little blemish on his shoe. Interestingly enough, it was almost the same shade of red as the lipstick on the secretary. The doors began to close with a ding, and Johnny brought his gaze back up. He looked through the narrowing crack of the elevator doors and saw the secretary, who was now full-on sprinting down the hallway toward them with the same barmy smile on her face. Johnny’s face drained, but the doors finished closing before the secretary made it to them.

What the heck?!

Nooshy and Ryan were still conversing about how Ryan planned to decorate his room.

“Did you guys see that, just now!?”

Nooshy stopped mid-sentence and turned to Johnny.

“What are you talking about?”

“The secretary!”

“Uh, what about her?” Ryan asked.

“I think I saw her running down the hall after us,” Johnny said in a rapid flurry.

“Hmm, maybe she had mail for me or something,” Ryan was oblivious to Johnny’s panic. He turned back to Nooshy and continued their conversation.

I guess…that’s a reasonable explanation… but it doesn’t explain the weird smiling…

Johnny dropped the subject for now. They could always approach her after to ask what was so important that she gave Johnny such a fright sprinting after them like a psychopath. The elevator doors opened and let them out into the third-floor hall. As soon as the elevator doors shut behind them, there was a loud explosive sound followed by the power going out. Thunder reverberated through the now darkened halls, lit dimly by a few scattered windows here and there.

“Welp, at least we didn’t get stuck in the elevator!” Nooshy pulled out her phone and turned on the flashlight, as did Johnny and Ryan.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost to the end,” Ryan said, then began leading them down the hall. Once they reached the end, Ryan turned and opened his apartment door, which creaked loudly in contrast with the sound of rain. The door was red and had three brass numbers ‘300’ on them, but the 3 was crooked and looked to be only hanging on by one screw. Johnny thought it was weird, the way Ryan said ‘the end,’ but guessed that he probably meant the end of the hallway. They entered the living room, and Ryan told Nooshy there were some candles they could light in a drawer in the kitchen. Johnny asked if he could use the restroom, and Ryan showed him to it.

He shut the door and shone the phone light in the mirror. It cast a long shadow on the ceiling above him, reminding him of children holding up a torch to their face around the campfire when telling ghost stories. There was another crack of thunder and he shivered. Clearly the whole secretary thing still had him on edge, so he bent down and splashed some warm water on his face to calm his nerves. While he was mid-dry with the towel pressed against his face, there was a gut-wrenching scream. Johnny dropped the towel into the sink. The scream sounded like Nooshy’s.

Johnny ran out of the bathroom, taking care not to trip in the murky darkness of Ryan’s unfamiliar apartment. The phone light seemed to be dimming and flickering, but that could have just been his vision narrowing from the adrenaline. When he got to the kitchen, he saw Ryan standing with his back to him, looking at the kitchen table which now had a dozen or so lit white candles.

“Ryan, who screamed!?”

Ryan turned and looked at Johnny with a confused look on his face. He tilted his head like a puppy hearing an unfamiliar sound. Ryan’s eyes looked bloodshot in the faint glow of the candles. There was no response, but Ryan also seemed to be out of breath. His shoulders bobbed up and down with the vigorous inhalations.

“Ryan, mate, what’s wrong?” Johnny felt sick to his stomach, almost like there were worms crawling around inside. Ryan stared back, then lifted his hand to his chest. He was holding something shiny and reflective. It tapered off away from his hand.

“You,” Ryan growled in a low timbre. He slightly rotated his hand, which caused the candlelight to shimmer off the object. There seemed to be a dark liquid coating the surface. Johnny wanted to step closer to figure out what was going on, but several internal alarms were telling him that wouldn’t be a good idea. Johnny backed up slowly, but this triggered Ryan to lower his hand to his side, the object pointed menacingly toward the ground. At this angle, the candles outlined a silhouette around Ryan and the object. A single drop of the liquid fell in slow-motion from the tip of the object, refracting the glow of the candles like a tear-drop prism. Suddenly, with a jolting rush of revelatory grief, the identity of the object was exposed.

A knife.

Coated in blood.

Fight or flight.

Where was Nooshy!?

Fight or die.

Is that Nooshy’s blood?

A picture of a book appeared in his mind. The pages fluttered violently in the wind, until just as quickly as the storm appeared, the wind died out and the book settled on the chapter it wanted. Johnny took a step back, Ryan took a step forward, and in his snail’s pace mind, he picked up the book and read the chapter. The title? The Bad Ending.

“R-Ryan, pl-please,” Johnny attempted to take another step back, but his ankle caught on something soft and warm. He fell, and the fall felt like passing through thick jelly. Ryan still made his move forward. Ryan still brandished the knife. Ryan still scowled. Johnny caught himself with his hands, but there was a sticky substance where they planted. He pulled up one hand and angled it so the candlelight would confirm his fears – he had indeed tripped over Nooshy and fell into a pile of her blood. Her empty eyes flickered with reflected candlelight.

“Ryan!” Johnny sobbed. “Why are you doing this!?”

Ryan stopped a few inches away from Johnny, then leaned down on his haunches and stared.

“It was only supposed to be you,” Ryan huffed.

“What do you mean!?” Johnny tried to crawl away from Ryan, but Ryan used his free hand to grab Johnny’s ankle and pull him back, his claws digging into Johnny’s leg. Johnny whimpered in pain.

“I took you to the top of the mountain. I knew it would collapse. It was supposed to. Just. Be. You.”

The emotionless stare of bloodshot eyes polygraphed to Johnny that Ryan wasn’t lying.

“Then, why?” Johnny whimpered through clenched teeth, tears finally streaming out of his eyes.

“Oh, it’s not personal,” Ryan shrugged. “Just showbiz. I couldn’t have you taking all the lead roles anymore,” Ryan took the knife and rubbed the blood onto his sleeve while he was explaining. The alarms became deafening in Johnny’s mind, and the figurative book slammed shut. His arms shook under his weight. There was only one thing Johnny could think of that was crazy enough, unpredictable enough, that would possibly stun Ryan.

“Ryan…”

Ryan stopped the superfluous cleaning of the blade and looked toward him.

“Ryan… I love you,” The words echoed. Ryan remained unflinching, then opened his mouth with words dripping in malicious evil.

“I know… so this time I’m taking your heart.”

The next several minutes passed painstakingly slowly, almost as if fate wouldn’t let Johnny die. Johnny felt every slice, stab, and twist of the knife. It wasn’t until Ryan displayed Johnny’s slow-beating heart, fully excavated by knife from his chest, that he exsanguinated. The last image in Johnny’s fading conscious was Ryan, now smiling boldly, having completed his mission to remove his competition.

Everything went black.

It stayed black.

Black.

Cold, clammy blackness.

--------

“Ahhhrgh!” Johnny awoke and sat up swiftly and out of breath. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but eventually he was able to piece together that he was still in his bed. He rubbed his face to shake off the remaining adrenaline, then realized his face was wet with tears. Johnny shivered, the cold sweat on his torso soaking through his tank top.

It was just a nightmare…

This was by far the most visceral nightmare Johnny had ever experienced. A quick inspection of his alarm clock revealed that it was only 6:20 in the morning. He wasn’t planning on waking up until 7 am, but he was too wired to go back to sleep at this point. God forbid he have another dream like that… He grabbed his phone and got out of bed, heading to the shower to rinse the sweat off him. Hopefully his first day of rehearsals wouldn’t be tainted by this experience.

After the shower, Johnny headed into the garage where his dad was already up for the day. He was doing some work around the garage and didn’t seem to notice Johnny yet. Johnny stumbled over to the kitchen and grabbed a box of cereal and a bowl. He sat them on the table and grabbed some milk from the fridge and sat it next to the cereal, then grabbed a spoon. After pouring the cereal and milk into the bowl, he realized he didn’t have an appetite. Instead, he absentmindedly scooped up cereal with his spoon and poured it back into the bowl while staring off into the distance.

“Morning, son!” His dad’s loud, cheerful voice made Johnny jump and fling a spoonful of cereal all over the table. His dad apologized and grabbed a napkin to clean the mess. Johnny sighed, which grabbed his dad’s attention.

“What’s up with you?”

Johnny put the spoon down on the table with a clink and rubbed his face, both out of stress and an attempt to wake himself up. His dad recognized it as the former, so he sat next to Johnny and put his arm around him.

“Sorry dad. Just woke up from a really bad nightmare.” Johnny slouched over the table.

“Ah, I wondered what you were doin’ up so early. Want to talk about it?”

Johnny looked up at his dad, who had genuine concern on his face.

“Um, can I tell you about it later today? I’m still reeling from it…”

“Wow, must’ve been a bad one,” His dad stood up and went to the coffee machine. “Here, I brewed this a few minutes ago. It’ll make you feel better.” Big Daddy poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Johnny, who graciously accepted it. “Nooshy was telling me that you and your friend Ryan really like coffee. It’s interesting because a few years ago you hated coffee with a passion.”

Johnny took a sip and recoiled from the bitterness, but it did distract him from the nightmare, so he continued drinking it black. It also distracted him from the fact that Nooshy was talking to his dad about Ryan behind his back. His dad sipped on coffee and looked over Johnny past the kitchen border to the rest of the garage. It was rare that he and his dad got a bit of quiet time together, so Johnny felt he should make the most of it.

“So, what are you planning to do today?”

“Oh, well, Stan and Barry are coming over to help me clean up certain parts of the garage. We’re thinking about opening up the shop!”

“Wait, you mean like a mechanic?”

“Well, yeah! We can’t go back to robberies, and the food kitchen doesn’t pay, so we might as well fix cars!”

“Wait, hang on dad! This is our home, so if you bring in a bunch of strangers’ cars, it’s gonna be weird!”

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll start small. We have a whole plan and all, and you and Nooshy can still stay here. You two are normally gone all day anyway, so you won’t even notice it.”

Johnny thought about what his dad was telling him, and he decided that it was for the best if his dad made money the legal way. Johnny looked at his dad, who seemed to be waiting for his opinion. Johnny pretended to be inquisitive for a second before responding.

“You know what, I think that’s a great idea!”

“Haha! I’m glad you agree!”

“But, just so you know, I did want to throw my 21^st birthday party here. If that’s cool with you.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll think about it. We should be able to make that happen. I’ll talk to the gang,” His dad finished his coffee and headed back to the garage to continue cleaning up the space, patting Johnny’s shoulder as he passed. Johnny smiled, the thoughts of his 21^st and his dad making an effort to work honestly further pushing the nightmare away. Johnny finished his coffee, dumped out the soggy cereal, and went to his room to finish getting prepared for the first day of rehearsals. As he entered his room, he heard his dad whisper.

“I can’t believe my boy is almost 21…”

Johnny smiled.

Chapter Text

Ryan’s POV

Everyone was gathered in the new and improved Moon Theater, crowding the main stage and spilling into the stage exits. Ryan was feeling that buzzing anticipation as if it were the first day of school, seeing friends that he hadn’t seen since before summer vacation started. Well, in this case, he hasn’t seen most of the cast for about a week. When they arrived, Mr. Moon and Ms. Crawly gave a quick tour of the theater, eliciting plenty of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ as they passed the upgraded rehearsal spaces and practice rooms. They had to split into two groups to reduce the size of the crowd, and at one point Ryan’s group passed the other group. He caught a quick glimpse of Johnny, who looked exhausted with bags under his eyes and a slight drooped frown.

Oof, he must have had a rough night…

Nooshy elbowed Johnny, who mustered a weak smile then returned to the prior state.

Well, if anyone can break him out of his mood, it’s Nooshy.

Ryan looked away to avoid walking into the person in front of him as their group stopped. Mr. Moon pointed out a set of double doors that had windows around their perimeter. Ryan looked through and saw the walls lined with mirrors and horizontal bars for stretching – the new dance studio. While it wasn’t as large as the one in Redshore City, it would do just fine. Kickenklober was inside inspecting the space, then went to the back where there was another doorway – perhaps it was his new office.

The group moved on, and Mr. Moon showed them the rest of the theater. After about a half hour or so, the groups converged back on the stage. Mr. Moon climbed a stepladder with a megaphone in his hand and a clipboard in his other. The chatter died down when the electric squeak of the megaphone was heard, indicating it was just toggled on. Mr. Moon smiled and brought the mouthpiece up to his face.

“Hey guys! Glad to see so many smiling and excited faces here in the new moon theater,” Mr. Moon’s voice echoed out into the house, “Now, before I get started, I wanted to give a quick shout out. None of this would be possible without the generosity of Nana Noodleman and her family, so let’s give her a round of applause!” Mr. Moon pointed out into the house to an aged but elegant sheep, who stood and waved back regally as applause echoed. Waiting for the applause to die down, Mr. Moon inspected his clipboard.

“Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! We’ve had several people working hard on the show so far, and now we’re prepared to announce it and begin the rest of the work! The show….is….” Mr. Moon pointed to a banner above him that began to unfurl, probably with the show’s poster art.

“…. The Greatest Showman!” There was a cheer as everyone admired the poster art. Some details began to stand out as Ryan explored the poster, which looked like an artist’s own take on the original box art of the movie. Once casting was finished, it’s likely the final poster would be photographed on their first full dress rehearsal when everyone was in costume. He had seen the movie a few times now – it was Dean and Sarah’s favorite musical movie and was frequently on as a comfort choice. They were now at the point where they all could pretty much sing every song from memory. Ryan looked around for Dean and Sarah, but they weren’t nearby. It didn’t matter though - he could picture in his mind exactly how excited both of them would be.

Ryan was now immensely interested in the casting. Not only was the movie full of vocal solos, it was also full of intensely choreographed dance routines. At the very least, a few people were going to be expected to learn basic trapeze and other circus-related gymnastics. Kickenklober was sure going to have his hands full, but the fact that the musical was greenlit with him on the committee meant he thought his students could handle it. Ryan didn’t know if he should be flattered or worried about his dance instructor’s faith in them.

Who would I be cast as?

Ryan was certain he would be cast just because he was one of the best dance students. He didn’t mean that as a brag – it was just the truth. It didn’t mean he would get the best role necessarily. If anything, it meant he was most likely to get the role with the hardest routine. He attempted to go through a list of the characters quickly in his head, trying to figure out which character that applied to. Even this was difficult, because movies rely heavily on special effects and CGI, meaning that what looked hard in the movie was almost always impossible to do in real life. Sure, they had a large budget from Nana and their successful ticket sales in the past and could probably buy some truly incredible props, but there was no way for him to predict anything at this moment. At least, not without the script.

As if on cue, Mr. Moon mentioned the script.

“Before I let Ms. Crawly and Gunter hand out the scripts, I wanted to go over casting decisions. We’ve spent a lot of time working this out, so as of right now it’s final, but if you have concerns with your casting decision please come and see me after we break. The good news is that everyone who showed interest in this show will have a role!”

Ryan’s phone buzzed, and just as he expected, it was a text from Sarah. He pulled it out while Mr. Moon continued to talk about roles and understudies.

This is sick! Where are you?!

I’m on the left side of the stage

Well, who do you think is gonna be Mr. Barnum?

Mr. Barnum was the lead role. Depending on how the script was written and which direction they planned to take the show, there would be two people cast as Mr. Barnum: one person for when he was a child and one person for when he was an adult. Ryan scratched his head. He had no idea who it could be for either role.

Idk, but it’s a big responsibility for whoever gets it

Ryan put his phone away and returned his attention Mr. Moon.

“Alright, let’s get to the casting!” The wave of murmurs returned.

“The lead role as many of you know, is a Mr. P.T. Barnum. Obviously this is a tough role, but we picked someone who we believe exemplifies all the necessary qualities for Mr. Barnum. The person who will be playing him is our very own… Johnny!” There was a cheer from everyone, but it was loudest to his left. Ryan looked that direction and saw many of the original cast celebrating loudly for a dumbfounded Johnny. He held his hands down to his side in fists, which Rosita grabbed and pulled up to shake Johnny out of his dumbfounded state. It took a second, but Johnny eventually seemed more thrilled than any other emotion he was feeling. Ryan realized he was holding his breath, only exhaling once Johnny relaxed. There was a very real chance that the role was too much for Johnny, especially after all the stress relating to being trapped in the cave, but it seemed that Johnny ultimately accepted the role.

“Next we must cast Charity Barnum. For that role we’ve decided to cast Sarah!” Again, there was a cheer. Ryan knew that Sarah would be happy with that role. He also couldn’t help but snicker since Charity was Mr. Barnum’s wife, meaning Johnny and Sarah would almost definitely have a good chunk of borderline-intimate choreo together. If Meena was able to pull off her act with someone as egotistical as Darius, then Johnny should be just fine.

“Moving on, Ryan will play the role of Phillip Carlyle!” Ryan felt pats on his back as people congratulated him. He didn’t expect to be cast so soon, so his reaction wasn’t immediately one of excitement. Phillip was essentially Mr. Barnum’s business partner, so that meant he would be working closely with… Johnny! Ryan glanced back in Johnny’s direction and locked eyes with him briefly, but before Ryan could get a read on him, Sarah and Dean pushed through the theater crowd and stood in front of him.

“Congrats Ryan! Another big role!”

“Oh… uh yeah! Thanks, and congrats to you too,” Ryan added on. Before he could mention that Sarah would be rehearsing close to Johnny, Mr. Moon continued.

“Okay, so Philip’s love interest, Anne Wheeler, will be played by someone who transferred from our props and set design crew to our choreo team. She blew us away with her audition, so give a round of applause to Sasha!”

As soon as the name registered in Ryan’s head, his thoughts went blank. Gone was the role he was cast as. He forgot about Sarah, Johnny, and the show almost entirely. He could feel his face drain, made ever clearer with the dull throbbing of his scar. His breath stuttered and he looked wide-eyed to Sarah and Dean. They had equally surprised expressions on their faces as they also realized what this meant.

Sasha was Ryan’s ex-girlfriend.

She was a cheetah that worked on prop design and functionality, and she used to be friends with Ryan, Dean, and Sarah – until the breakup, that was. Now, she was going to be playing the love interest of his character.

The heat of the stage lights was suddenly very obvious to him. Being surrounded by a crowd of dozens of animals wasn’t helping either. The only thing he could think to do was to just… get away. Ryan had to get out of there before he passed out and put both the literal and figurative spotlights on him - Especially now that Sasha was somewhere very nearby. Sarah could sense that something was wrong when Ryan wiped the sweat off his forehead and began looking around, scanning for an exit.

“Ryan? Hey, don’t worry about it yet—”

“I need to get out of here.”

“Why? Are you feeling okay?” Dean asked in a hushed voice as to not attract any attention. Not that it mattered since Mr. Moon kept going down the cast list and eliciting cheer and applause.

“…claustrophobic…stay here…” That was all Ryan could muster. His throat didn’t seem to want to stay open. He pushed his way through the crowd toward the stage exit and, without a real reason, walked toward the new dance studio. He prayed the doors were unlocked. They were, so he entered and locked them behind him. It didn’t seem like Dean and Sarah followed him, but they would show up eventually. As much as he loved his best friends, it was hard to get alone time now that they all lived together. Besides, they understood his history with Sasha, so his reaction wasn’t totally out of the blue.

Ryan walked to the stretching poles that divided the room in half. He leaned over onto his arms as if he were leaning over the railings on a boat and staring into the water. The newly polished wood floor reflected his face, but the bumps distorted the reflection like the crazy mirrors one finds at a carnival. It was an accurate representation of how he was feeling currently. He took a deep breath of cool air and closed his eyes. The silence was already soothing him, but it didn’t last.

“Ryan? Shouldn’t you be at the casting meeting?” It was Klaus, who just exited his office. Ryan stood and rested his hands on the bar.

“Sorry sir, I just got really dizzy in there,” Ryan blinked. “I’ll head back now. Sorry to disturb you.”

“Ryan, I’ve been your instructor for so long now that I can tell when you’re lying. What’s really going on?”

That caught him off guard – Klaus almost never bothered to ask about his students’ lives. Maybe Nooshy was right about him becoming a better person. Either that, or Klaus just couldn’t afford to not always have his best student’s head in the game.

“Just that a casting decision caught me off guard…” Ryan eyed Klaus for any hint of malice, but there didn’t seem to be any.

“Well, I really think that you’ll make a great Phillip. I have no doubt that you can handle it.”

That’s… really high praise coming from someone who used to beat dancers with a stick.

“Oh… thanks sir, but it’s not that.”

“Is it Johnny and his role? Mr. Moon and I felt that the current casting arrangement would work best between you two, especially since you two have the best, how should I say? Chemistry, it would seem.”

W-what?

Ryan paused. A single burst of laughter escaped his throat in a pitch that was higher than normal out of sheer surprise by that statement. He leaned back over the bar and rubbed his face and his incredulous smile, then groaned and frowned.

“What does that even mean?” There was a hint of frustration in the statement – just enough to let Klaus know that he didn’t want him to beat around the bush with his answer. Klaus received the message loud and clear.

“Mr. Moon and I think you and Johnny both perform better when your roles are connected in some way. Johnny learns the choreo much faster in shows where he works with you than in shows without you, and you seem to take your choreo to a step above your normal high-quality performance when working with Johnny.”

“Oh…” Ryan stared at his reflection in the mirrors lining the walls. He certainly didn’t notice any improvements in his performance when working with Johnny. Maybe it was some subconscious effort to make up for all the times he let Johnny down during their first rehearsals together in Redshore. One thing he did agree with Klaus on though – He and Johnny did have good chemistry.

In the theater at least... right? J-just the theater… just during performances…

Right?

It can’t be because of… other feelings? No, no… I don’t think so. Sarah and Dean and everyone pushing me to… be in a relationship with Johnny… That’s all just fun and games!

Right?

Klaus’s voice interrupted his internal debate.

“I have a feeling that that’s not actually why you’re here. Which casting decision don’t you like?”

“It’s uh… Sasha. She’s playing Anne…”

“Ah yes. She showed remarkable dance and choreo prowess, so I decided to let her audition for the role. Is it the romantic scenes you’re worried about?”

“Yes and no… I can handle intimate scenes just fine, but she’s… my ex,” Ryan couldn’t believe that of everyone he could have gone to with this problem, he went to Klaus first. In fact, he felt almost silly telling Klaus and had an immediate urge to want to apologize for wasting Klaus’s time. The urge won.

“Sorry sir, I know how you feel about personal matters interfering with the show. It’s a dumb issue. I’ll get over it…”

“Nonsense. I’m probably the worst when it comes to letting personal feelings get in the way of a show.”

“You? Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen,” Ryan studied Klaus again.

“Of course,” Klaus nodded and leaned against the opposite side of the bar. “Does the command ‘give me your costume’ ring a bell?”

“Oh right, when you, master choreographer, left me in my underwear and sabotaged Johnny’s performance because you couldn’t stand that he learned choreo better from Nooshy, a riffraff street performer.” Such a charged statement would have made the old Klaus furious, but instead he just laughed. The laughter was so genuine that Ryan’s dour face spread into a smile, and he began laughing too.

“Yes exactly! And you know what, while I’m embarrassed that I went so far to hurt Johnny, I’m actually glad I did it.”

“Why?”

“Because his confidence skyrocketed after! He may not be classically trained like all of the Redshore students, but he’s just as good.”

Ryan sat down on the cool, wooden floor and leaned back onto his arms. He thought back to the moment when Nooshy began beating the drums to inspire Johnny to stand up for himself. Back to the moment when both sides of the battle came together as one to support him. Everyone pounded their battle staffs in sync with Nooshy, even Ryan (using a broom he found). It was amazing improv, but the best part was watching Johnny pull off moves that even Ryan wouldn’t have been able to do. All he could feel was pure awe. Now that he was reminiscing, one detail stood out to him.

In the end, he couldn’t take his eyes off Johnny. The confidence was oddly… charming…

Klaus cleared his throat, breaking the trance and getting Ryan’s attention. Ryan looked up toward him and noticed a slight smug grin on his face – one that screamed ‘I know.’ But the grin disappeared quickly.

“So, why are you worried about Sasha?”

“Oh, right. Um, the breakup was rough and messy. We didn’t leave on the best terms. In fact, I broke up with her. And now that I have to work with her, I’m worried it’ll throw me off my game entirely.”

Klaus thought for a second before responding.

“I recommend maybe talking to her about it. If it’s been a few years, she’s probably moved on. It’s better to get ahead of this before it causes problems during the show,” Klaus said as he started walking toward his office. Ryan sat up and crossed his legs.

“And if she hasn’t moved on?”

“Then come talk to me and Mr. Moon. We can work something out.” Klaus’s voice faded as he entered his office. Ryan sat still on the floor, not believing that Klaus would be the one to make him feel better. Nooshy ended up being right about Klaus. He was still tough during rehearsals, just without the stick beating and berating, so Ryan just assumed that he would be that way outside of rehearsals. He would have to let Dean and Sarah know.

Ryan stood up and walked to the door and unlocked it. He paused, then shouted a thank you to Klaus, and left. When he returned to the stage, most of the crowd had gone to their respective roles and rehearsal spaces. Dean and Sarah were standing in the same spot he left them. Sarah’s face lit up with worry when she saw him coming back. She ran to him.

“Ryan! Are you okay? Where did you go?”

“I’m fine, feeling better now.” Ryan smiled.

“Do you want to talk about… you know, Sasha?”

“Nah, I already talked to someone about it. I think it’s best if we get to rehearsal. I’ll talk to Sasha alone. For all I know, she could be feeling the same trepidation with having to work with me, so I want to clear things up.”

Sarah and Dean looked at each other, then agreed to let Ryan do his own thing. Sarah handed Ryan a copy of the script, and the trio headed off to work. It would be a long several weeks until the show was up and running.

-----

Johnny’s POV

Wow, I look rather suave!

Johnny held a black felt hat against his chest. It was the kind that circus ring leaders and magicians wore, and if he thought about it, Barnum may have even been one of the first to standardize the hat and style in the first place. Johnny placed the hat on top of his head and inspected the completed ringmaster outfit in the mirror in front of him. This was one of several outfits he was currently being fitted for, and since he was the lead role, it just made sense for him to get fitted first. Since Mr. Moon had all of Johnny’s measurements from their take on Alice and Wonderland (Johnny played what was essentially the Mad Hatter), it didn’t take much to create Barnum’s outfit. The vest was black and adorned with tons of gold lacing up the middle, and the suit jacket was a velvet red with a black satin inner lining. Throw in some black dress pants and performance shoes, and the outfit was complete.

An outfitter was placing and removing safety pins to indicate areas that may be hemmed slightly – While they had Johnny’s sizes, he has gotten more athletic and buffer over the year. The suit jacket was a little snug if he buttoned it, but they overestimated how long his sleeves should be. Still, Johnny posed with the showman cane and snapped a selfie. The roles were announced only an hour or so ago at this point, so he had yet to tell his dad he had the lead role. He sent the photo to his dad with a text.

May or may not have the lead role in our next show… How do I look?

Johnny hesitated before sending the picture, just because he was still a little baffled that he was cast as the lead role. If he was being honest, the whole day was still a bit hazy and unsettled with the nightmare in the morning. The coffee his dad made ended up wearing off a lot sooner than he would have liked. There was a certain anxiety in the fact that everyone else was already learning lines and Johnny was stuck being fitted. The outfitter didn’t let him read his lines while being fitted because it held the suit arms taut at a tight angle.

It's okay Johnny… You’ve been through tougher situations… Don’t let lead role go to your head…

His phone vibrated, and his dad texted back.

That’s my son! Looks great on you. Maybe ask if you can keep the suit when the show is over

Idk dad, Mr. Moon keeps all our outfits and props for the theater…

Well, actors steal props for themselves all the time! Treat yourself!

He chuckled at his dad’s casual kleptomania, then yawned and smacked his lips.

“You know, there’s coffee in the new breakroom!” The outfitter said through clenched lips as she was holding pins in her mouth.

“Oh thank you! How many more outfits do we have?” Johnny took off the suit jacket and handed it to the outfitter to be hemmed and adjusted.

“That was it! We should be able to make the rest of the adjustments over the next few days,” She took a quick look at Johnny while he was in the suit vest, “and the vest is perfect. Just remember to wear a white button down underneath everything, but if you’d like, you can roll up the sleeves if its more comfortable.”

Johnny thanked her again as she left with the suit jacket over her arm. He looked at himself in the mirror. Curiosity got the better of him and he rolled up the sleeves, buttoning them just above his elbows. It looked great, so he kept them rolled up.

“The breakroom is down the hall, first door on the left!” The fitter said as she left the room. Johnny nodded, then eagerly snatched up the script from the desk next to him. He flipped to the first page of his dialogue, which was actually a song. He’d heard the song before from the movie, which meant that he at least had an advantage there – songs were much easier to memorize than pure dialogue. But just because he already mostly knew the song didn’t mean that was all he had to do; The choreo was a whole new experience, and that would start tomorrow.

Might as well try to memorize lines while I’m having a cuppa…

Johnny left the dressing room lightly singing his part. Some other cast members passed him in the hallway and gave him compliments on the outfit. He smiled and thanked them, but inside it caused him to lose his place in the song and forced him to restart. He neared the first door on the left and heard some voices inside. Entering the room revealed a long, well-lit space with clusters of tables and chairs. There were even some couches that Johnny recognized from the old theater. Several people were standing around and talking or reading over lines. On the tables were large piles of catered sandwiches and other snacks.

Johnny waved to some cast members and walked to the far table where the coffee carafes/thermoses were. He bent the corner of the page as a bookmark and set the script down. There were some Styrofoam cups in stacks, and he grabbed one and pressed down on the dispenser. Warm, dark coffee flowed out with a pressurized gurgle. He brough the cup up to his face, but then decided that sugar and cream would be necessary to get through the rest of the day. After stirring in the extras and targeting a pale cream color, he was satisfied. The familiar scent relaxed him, and he took a quick sip.

Perfect…

“Yeah, I really appreciate how mature you were. I was… a little bit worried if I’m being honest… But it sounds like we’ve both… moved on,” There was a familiar voice coming from behind Johnny. He turned and saw Ryan talking to a familiar-looking female cheetah. The cheetah nodded and smiled, then put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan continued with his back toward Johnny.

“Just let me know if anything else comes up. I think we can both get through this show without issue. I just want what’s best for the theater, and I think you do to.”

The Cheetah nodded and then left without another word. She locked eyes with Johnny for a second before leaving the breakroom. Johnny could see Ryan’s shoulders raise and drop, a sign of a deep breath and relieved exhale. He turned around while looking at his phone, then looked up at Johnny. Johnny walked over and flourished his outfit, which Ryan inspected up and down. Ryan opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out initially. He had to clear his throat into his fist.

“Oh wow, Johnny…” That was all Ryan could say, and Johnny was absolutely loving that he had this effect on Ryan. Johnny smirked.

“Eh, looks good doesn’t it, mate?” He did a quick spin, carefully holding the Styrofoam cup level.

“Er, yeah. It… I mean, you look great!” Ryan pointed at Johnny’s sleeves, “I think the sleeves are a good touch too.”

“Just wait ‘till I’m wearing the whole suit! I don’t have a single bad outfit in this show. All the girls will be swooning over me, eh?” Johnny smiled.

“Oh, not just the girls...” Ryan said with raised eyebrows and they both laughed. Johnny took a sip of his coffee, suddenly remembering the cheetah from before.

“By the way, who was that girl you were talking to?”

Ryan’s smile faded and he briefly looked at the ground.

“Oh, that was Sasha…”

“Oh right, she’s playing Anne! Wasn’t she the one who helped Rosita and Gunter with the aerial scene in the Out of This World show?”

“Yes, that’s her…”

“If she’s playing Anne then… she’ll be close to you!” Johnny put the pieces together.

“Yeah exactly, so I’m kinda supposed to,” Ryan twiddled with his thumbs for a second, “you know, kiss her. Or rather, she kisses me.”

“Oh is that what you were talking about? I figured you wouldn’t stress about something like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just figured everyone from Redshore didn’t have those kinda fears, like you guys are professionals essentially.”

Ryan looked at Johnny for a second, opening his mouth then closing it, as if he was trying to think of what to say. It held a different energy than when he couldn’t speak up earlier. He shifted his stance before responding.

“I’m not perfect, Johnny. I have the same fears and struggles as you or anyone else.” Ryan glared, and Johnny sensed he stepped on a sensitive subject.

“Oh, I’m sorry Ryan! Of course, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re right, it’s wrong of me to assume that. I guess I’m still trying to break the habit of thinking of the troupe as Calatonia vs Redshore City.” Johnny frowned and politely crossed his hands in front of him (coffee cup nestled in between), stepping back from Ryan to make it as obvious as possible that he was trying to diffuse what could easily escalate. There was an awkward pause of tension before Ryan relaxed his glare.

“It’s okay. To be fair, I still do that too. We all do, so it’s a work in progress.” Ryan sighed, “And you’re right, I don’t have an issue with intimate scenes, but Sasha is… well, she’s my ex-girlfriend,” Ryan rubbed his neck.

“Ohhh, well dang, anyone would feel stressed in the same way, perfect or not!”

“Yeah, so I wanted to talk with her and make sure we were both on the same page. We’ve both moved on I think, so we’re going to act like mature adults and not let the past get in the way.”

“Ah, well, I’m glad you worked it out. And honestly, I’m always here for you! Listen, if you need to talk to me about anything, please don’t feel like it’s silly or something. I guess, well… I know what it’s like to keep secrets and bottle up problems… not that I’m trying to be like your therapist or something…and not that you’re bottling up problems…!”

In a failed attempt to be supportive without further upsetting Ryan, Johnny ended up rambling. Ryan chuckled and pulled Johnny into a hug, essentially cutting him off from any further rambling. He broke the hug and held Johnny at arm’s length by the shoulders.

“Thanks Johnny! I’ll keep that in mind. And the same goes for you! You looked… let’s just say stressed this morning. Anyway, we’ve probably stayed for long enough. I’m sure you got a ton of material to memorize.”  Ryan let go of Johnny and grabbed his belongings then started toward the exit. He waved before heading out.

Johnny became very tired again. The hug brought a wisp of Ryan’s cologne to his nose, but this time instead of feeling positive feelings, it was tainted with the near-miss of a potential argument. He kicked himself for putting that impossible expectation of perfection on Ryan. Maybe it was a good idea to just steer clear of Ryan for now, knowing that they would have tons of scripted time together anyway. As much as Johnny wanted to spend all his time with Ryan, seeing someone too often was not a good way to maintain a healthy relationship. Even married couples need to have friendships and hobbies outside of their marriage.

The thought of him marrying Ryan popped into his head intrusively and gave him a brief wave of mental whiplash. It almost made him feel guilty… or maybe selfish. Here Ryan was, struggling with the anxiety of having to kiss Sasha, and all Johnny’s mind seemed to care about was a relationship. Intrusive thoughts were rarely assuaging, so it was just another feeling to add to the ever-growing pile of emotions that he was experiencing, even just today alone.

Johnny finished his coffee and poured another one. The breakroom had emptied at some point during their conversation, so he decided to just rehearse in there, alone. Eventually, before he knew it, the day was over. The break room was an interior room lacking windows, so there was no way to monitor the changing sunlight and by extension the circadian time. He felt like the lyrics and lines were fuzzy, as if they would just slip out of his mind at any moment.

I probably have too many distractions. I’ll do better tomorrow when I have more sleep…

Johnny stood and headed to the dressing room to change out of his costume. He grabbed his new leather jacket that he didn’t quite like as much as the old one – perhaps it would grow on him over time. His skateboard was on the bottom of his locker (Each of the cast had their own locker in the new theater), leaning against the back wall. He pulled it out and held it under his arm. It was a little eerie how quiet the locker room was compared to this morning. The silence sent a shiver down his body, and he left quickly.

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV continued

Johnny sat on the floor of the dance studio, huffing and puffing after the last run through of the second day. Sarah sat next to him, out of breath as well but not nearly as severely. They both leaned against the mirror, and Johnny welcomed the cooling sensation on his back. He wasn’t quite ready to rehearse in uniform, so he was just wearing the standard white tank top and red sweats he always wore. Sarah pulled her legs up and hugged her knees, also wearing her choreo outfit.

Klaus walked over from another group who just finished their own rehearsal. It looked like the people who were cast as the circus acts, so the group was rather large. There were so many moving parts to this musical that Klaus was often jumping in and out of groups, dropping the occasional comment or critique, mostly making sure things were progressing. Eventually Johnny would move away from Sarah and join the circus act, but he wasn’t quite there yet. It was only day two, so they had plenty of time still to work out kinks and issues and learn the choreo.

Even still, the look on Klaus’s and Sarah’s faces indicated they felt the same struggle he was currently feeling. It wasn’t anger or disappointment, but rather a gentle concern for Johnny. He apologized before Klaus even said anything.

“Sorry, I know, I’m not sticking the moves as well as they need to be,” he said as he rubbed his sore legs. “But I promise I’ll get there! I can stick around a little bit longer on my own and keep working on it.”

“Well, don’t be so hard on yourself! It’s still early, and you do have the most to memorize out of all of us!” Sarah put her hand on Johnny’s shoulder in support. Klaus nodded in agreement.

“I know, I know, but I just feel like I’ve suddenly forgot how to sing and dance, like I’m back in time when I first came to Redshore and couldn’t even do the warmups!” Johnny stopped rubbing his calves (it didn’t help anyway) and leaned his head up against the mirror. His eyes moved to meet Klaus’s.

“Ah, despite your struggles, you have improved much since then,” Klaus stated while he held his tapping stick in one hand. It was worn down from whacking out tempos and students, though it’s been a while since the latter occurred. Eventually, it would probably break, or at the very least splinter to the point of no return, but it’s held out for this long. Johnny felt ironically like the stick, at least from these last few days.

“I can stick around with you Johnny, but honestly I think what’s best is rest and recovery.” Sarah was there with him all day, and even though Johnny was constantly messing up, missing cues and transitions, she remained incredibly amicable and focused. She took on a more serious mood in contrast to her ditzy behaviors from vacation, clearly here to get the job done. But she also wasn’t overbearing about it. It’s no wonder her and Ryan were such good friends: she knew when to be totally serious and when to relax and chill. Honestly, Johnny wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one who made sure Ryan and Dean did the same. When you’re as good as Ryan, something Ryan would never say himself as humble as he was, it’s easy to burn yourself out.

Johnny frowned. This wasn’t the first time someone said something like that him today. Even the stranger who brought in the catered food for lunch commented on the bags on his eyes, enquiring if it was makeup for the show. Johnny laughed it off and paid the tip, then ate his lunch with an extra strong coffee to see if it would help. It didn’t. Honestly, anything that could help restore his energy at this point was probably illegal.

“I agree with Sarah, you look and act drained. Are you getting enough sleep?” Klaus held his hand on his hip in a slightly adamant pose to show that he wouldn’t accept a lie or excuses from Johnny.

Johnny sighed. “Uh, no, I actually haven’t been sleeping well…”

He had another nightmare this morning, equally as intense as the one yesterday but even earlier in the morning. This time, he woke before his dad, so the obligatory brewed coffee was his responsibility. Obligatory yet unhelpful. He doubled the dose with a second cup, but all that did was make him anxious with a dull ache in his head.

The nightmare itself was different than yesterday’s – no one was brutally murdered by a rogue friend. This one was emotionally taxing in a punishing way. His mind, for as exhausted as it was, managed to create intricate details and paint with fastidious care settings designed to essentially torture him. He lived out many of his biggest fears. Some examples that popped back up included him getting arrested instead of his dad, Mr. Crystal throwing Mr. Moon off the building in Redshore and him being the person to find Mr. Moon’s mangled body, Ash and Meena harshly judging him for his crush on Ryan, and on and on. How he managed to sleep through all of that, he didn’t know, but the sleep was hardly restful.

Johnny took the time to explain that he was having new onset nightmares, carefully leaving out any specific details lest he confess his crush on Ryan to Ryan’s best friend and his dance instructor. He could tell they were sympathetic but curious, so he decided that if he really wanted to sell them on the severity of the nightmares he should at least tell them about the one from yesterday. It may have been a slight mistake because Sarah laughed at the idea of Ryan stabbing Johnny for lead roles. The laugh ended quickly when she saw that Johnny didn’t smile in the slightest. She apologized.

Johnny took a deep breath then stood up. “I feel better after taking a break though, so I really should get back to work---” A loud thwack sounded as Klaus swung his stick at Johnny’s chest. It didn’t hurt but it startled him, holding a hand to his sternum. Klaus glared and held the stick on his chest, then motioned for Sarah to stand. She did so promptly.

“Sarah, I want you to escort Johnny to the locker room so he can go home and get some sleep.” Klaus lowered the stick and watched as Sarah linked her arm through Johnny’s and began to pull him toward the door.

“But wait--!”

“Uh, uh, uh!” Sarah gave him a tug when he turned back toward Klaus, who had a grin on his face. “You know, let me give you a ride to your house too, and I’ll text Nooshy to tuck you in with a glass of warm milk and a bedtime story,” Sarah said, instantly back in her ditzy mood now that rehearsals were done. “That way I can make sure you don’t sneak back!”

“Wait, how did you know Nooshy was staying with me?”

“Oh, we had lunch together today! She told me you’re planning your 21^st birthday.”

“Ah, yeah, I need to finish planning that with her tonight…”

Dang, I totally forgot about that…

“Well perfect! Another reason to get you home asap! And you better invite me, Dean, and Ryan!”

“Of course--!” He said but Sarah continued.

“Well, if space is an issue, then invite Ryan at the very least.”

Johnny stopped in the middle of the hallway, halfway between the choreo room and the locker room. He looked at Sarah with a tilted head, pulling his arm out of hers.

“…Why Ryan?”

“Well, you guys are closer friends with each other than you are with me and Dean, so it only makes sense.”

I guess that checks out.

Johnny only saw brief glimpses of Ryan that day since he was so busy trying to keep his head above the water with his own choreo and songs. Despite having thought about needing space with Ryan just yesterday, he did feel a pang of longing for him.

“I have a feeling that you’re probably gonna make me ride home with you regardless, so you’ll see where I live and that there should be plenty of space for everyone I want to invite anyway.”

“Perfect! But also, make sure you don’t plan it for tomorrow since we’re having our housewarming party and you’re invited.”

“Oh right, Ryan did mention something about that. Do you think it’s okay for me to go?” He thought of yesterday when there was tension between Ryan and him, but it didn’t seem like the kind of thing that Ryan would go telling Sarah and Dean. Sarah looked confused.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Uh, no reason,” Johnny figured he shouldn’t tell Sarah about the tension either, but that he should probably come up with a reason just so she wouldn’t ask, “just maybe making sure it wasn’t Redshore people only…”

Sarah winked at Johnny, “We all live in Calatonia now, remember!”

“that’s true…”

They started walking again.

“Nooshy and I also talked about some other things, sort of gossiping I guess.”

Johnny was intrigued. “Like what?”

“Well,” She looked at Johnny mischievously, “I may have asked her if you and her were a thing…”

Johnny scoffed and laughed, so Sarah began to defend herself.

“I mean, can you blame me?! You two spend so much time together, have similar accents, even sit on bus rides together and listen to music—”

“She’s just one of my best friends! I promise, there’s nothing going on between us,” Johnny said with a grin as they entered the locker room. There was absolutely no doubt that other people thought the same thing about him and Nooshy, but for the most part, no one’s said anything.

“Well, she said the same thing, so I guess I’m convinced. Besides, she said that…” Sarah paused and put her hands behind her back, then looked to the ground. “Well, she said that there was someone else you’re interested in right now…”

Johnny’s mind and body screeched to a halt. “She said that!?”

“Relax! She didn’t tell me who.”

Johnny sighed. “I mean, she’s right, there is someone, but—”

“Hey, don’t worry! I won’t pry, but honestly, I don’t harbor any judgement so if you ever accidentally tell me who,” she raised and lowered her eyebrows repeatedly and tilted her head to emphasize the ‘who’, “I’ll be happy either way.” She shrugged.

Johnny turned and opened his locker, using the locker door as a wall between him and Sarah. He leaned a shoulder on the door and held the top with his fingers, then stood there for a second.

I… I guess I could tell her… but maybe not today. Let’s get a good night’s sleep before making any rash decisions…

“Well, I’ll probably be drinking alcohol on my 21^st, so maybe I’ll have loose lips then, but not today.” Johnny let go of the locker door and took a knee to begin packing up his bag. He grabbed his skateboard even though he was catching a ride with Sarah. He heard her open her own locker and pack up her stuff simultaneously. Sarah’s muffled voice came out of her locker.

“Do you think Nooshy needs a ride?”

“Nah, she’s already back at my place. Unlike me, she can actually learn her part.”

Johnny heard Sarah’s locker close, followed by footsteps behind him. He stood and closed his own locker, taking care when swinging his bag over his shoulder to not hit Sarah standing behind. He turned to her and saw her arms crossed.

“What?”

“There’s no need to be self-deprecating. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of experience getting Ryan to break the same habit.”

“Wait, why would Ryan ever make self-deprecating comments? He’s the best dancer!” Johnny laughed incredulously.

“Exactly my point! And you’re just as talented!”

“No I’m not,” Johnny rubbed his neck, but then Sarah grabbed his arm again, pulling him to the door to leave.

“Yes you are! You’re just having a rough day and that’s okay. Seriously, I’m gonna add on a pep talk from Nooshy when she tucks you in!”

They both laughed and headed to exit the theatre. Johnny opened the door to the parking lot behind the building, which was an upgrade from their previous theatre. When Sarah’s car came into view, Johnny saw Dean and Ryan leaning against it and laughing about something. Sarah called their names and waved, getting their attention.

“Hey boys! You don’t mind if I drive Johnny home, do you?”

Dean shook his head. Ryan made eye contact and waved to Johnny, flashing a big grin. It seemed yesterday’s events weren’t lingering, at least not overtly. The sun was low in the sky, which cast long shadows and an orange overtone. Since Ryan had mostly orange fur (and a bright white tank top), he seemed to glow. This meant that Johnny stared, and of course stared a little too long, distracted by his now heavily beating heart. Ryan noticed.

“What, do I have something on my tank top?” Ryan looked down and inspected himself for signs of a blemish or stain.

Crap!

“Oh n-no, sorry! I was just… thinking that I made you guys wait for Sarah, so, sorry!”

Dean answered, “Ah don’t worry about it. We don’t have any plans for tonight anyway. Sometimes it’s nice to not be in a rush all the time.”

They all hopped in Sarah’s convertible. Ryan and Johnny sat in the back.

“Does this mean I get to finally see where you live, Johnny?” Ryan put an arm out the window as Sarah lowered the convertible roof.

“Ah yeah, but I should warn you, it’s definitely not a typical house! It’s a bit… interesting.”

“Well, it makes sense that an interesting person lives at an interesting house!”

Ryan winked at Johnny, which made him smile and blush intensely. He turned and leaned on his elbow and looked out the window as Sarah began to drive, making sure to tell her directions to the garage. The sun felt warm on his face and the breeze kept him comfortable. For the duration of the ride, Johnny forgot about the stress and struggles of the day.

Later that night, Nooshy, Johnny, and his dad finished the final details for his 21^st birthday, which would be two nights from now. (His actual birthday was tomorrow, but Ryan already had his housewarming party.) He sent a text invite to a handful of his closest friends. Meena, Ash, and Nooshy would oversee the fine details and logistics, but Johnny said to keep it pretty lowkey. His dad went out and bought an assortment of beer and liquor. Since Meena and Ash weren’t 21 and couldn’t drink, they agreed to make sure nothing got too out of hand. Meena would be a designated driver if needed, but Johnny didn’t really expect anyone from the theater to get too crazy.

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Ryan’s POV

Day two of rehearsals went surprisingly well, considering a lot of it was with Sasha. Ryan elected to work on the scenes with her first in case there ended up being an insurmountable roadblock – that way they could make adjustments before too many days were wasted. The major song between Anne and Phillip involved a lot of ropes/pulleys/counterweights and aerial scenes, and Mr. Moon was still working on the logistics with the set design crew. It ended up being useful that Sasha had tons of experience with ropes and pulleys from prior shows, so they were able to make certain decisions yesterday without wasting too much time. All that was left was just constructing the set and testing for safety, which would take two or three days based on Sasha’s educated guess.

In the meantime, they just rehearsed as if the sets were already done. The dreaded kiss was a simple scene, and neither needed to practice it yet if at all. If anything, the scene was harder for Sasha, who was expected to cry on command. Ryan would just be laying there acting unconscious due to smoke inhalation for most of it. It was crazy how good both of them were at switching instantly from two people desperately in love to two people that were essentially strangers.

Eventually lunchtime arrived, and Klaus gave him and Sasha a thumbs up for their progress. Sure, they still had to memorize lines and were using the script half the time, but it could take weeks before someone had every line memorized. In this case, if anyone needed that much time, it would be Johnny as the lead role. Ryan looked around the several groups scattered in the choreo room and eventually found him. He was busy rehearsing with Sarah.

A more in-depth inspection made Ryan’s mood sink: Johnny still looked just as dreadful as yesterday. At certain angles, he looked even worse. It was clear that Johnny’s lack of sleep was negatively impacting his rehearsal because the pair had to start and stop several times. Johnny apologized for each mistake (Ryan could see the word ‘sorry’ form in Johnny’s mouth), and even though Sarah was facing away from Ryan, he knew that she was consoling Johnny.

Someone cleared his throat next to him. He turned and saw Klaus.

“I know you’re interested in watching Johnny and Sarah rehearse, but it’s probably a good idea to get lunch while you can.”

“Oh right, sorry,” Ryan apologized but still watched Johnny just a few moments more. Since there were so many different groups rehearsing and only one Klaus, they switched to a staggered lunch session. Instead of having everyone go to lunch at the same time, leaving a whole hour where Klaus didn’t do anything, they let groups go one by one. While one group was eating, Klaus was watching and critiquing the people not eating. Then they would switch. It made rehearsals slightly more efficient, but one was often left to wonder when Klaus had time to get lunch for himself. It must not have been a problem as Klaus was the one who suggested the change.

Eventually Ryan left to go to the break room. It was tradition for Mr. Moon to cater their lunches for the first week of rehearsals, then after that people brought their own lunches or ate off site. Mr. Moon claimed that it was one less thing for the cast to have to worry about during the stressful, busy first week. It also meant more variety, since Ryan tended to pack the same lunches every day while Mr. Moon catered something different each day.

Ryan entered the break room and saw Sasha eating with some of her set design friends. Sasha seemed to stick out though, considering the set design crew generally wore blue coveralls or outfits that were meant to resist wear and tear or chemicals such as paint. On the other end of the spectrum, the outfits the choreo team wore were designed to be light to maximize flexibility.

He walked past Sasha to the table with food and picked up a plastic plate. It seemed that today Mr. Moon catered Italian. Ryan scooped up a portion of cavatappi with marinara, grabbed a side of salad, and finished with two breadsticks coated in a shiny layer of butter, garlic, and other seasoning. After grabbing silverware and napkins, he looked around for a table to sit at. He saw Dean, who waved him over.

“Hey Ryan, how’s your day going? No problems with Sasha?”

“Going well so far, and I’m glad Sasha and I are able to work together,” Ryan sighed, “I don’t think I could handle the stress otherwise…” He placed his plate and sat, then checked what Dean decided to eat. There were six breadsticks on his plate and that was it.

“Really, Dean? Just breadsticks?” He rolled his eyes and stabbed the cavatappi with a plastic fork.

“Hey, you know I need as many carbs as I can get when rehearsing,” Dean’s voice became muffled as he stuffed half of a breadstick in his mouth. Ryan chuckled.

“Just be glad Sarah isn’t here. She’d force you to get some salad.”

Dean nodded fervently – this has happened before, and it would likely happen again. Ryan took another bite of his pasta, then pointed the fork at Dean.

“And you know pasta is carbs too…”

“Okay, but I also need the buttery, flaky goodness.”

“My god, Sophia is going to have to put up with this for the rest of her life!”

They both laughed and continued to eat.

“So, any idea when you’re gonna propose?”

“Nah, not yet. Moving to Calatonia sort of put a hold on it. I gotta figure out when or where she wants to move – she might not even want to live in Calatonia, but I also don’t want to stay too long distance.” Dean leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know, but this isn’t a good week to figure out all of that. We have rehearsals all day, and then we have to go and buy stuff for our party tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we can go to the grocery store tonight.”

“Hey, Ryan – and I guess Dean – can I ask you something?” Sasha came over and stood next to their table.

“Oh, sure. Ask away.” Ryan wondered what this could possibly be.

“Well, some of my set friends told me about your apartment/house-warming party and that they were going, um, so I guess I was just wondering if it would be okay if I went with them.”

Dean looked at Ryan, clearly because it was really Ryan’s decision even though she asked both of them.

I don’t see why not…

“Uh, sure yeah. I don’t mind.” It sort of slipped out of his mouth.

Shit… I can’t take it back now…

“Great, thanks! I’ll just get the address from them,” She turned and walked back to the other table, nodding to her friends who were watching the whole interaction. Ryan looked back at Dean.

“Do you think that was a good idea?” Ryan was genuinely curious. Dean shrugged and took a bite out of another breadstick, chewed, then responded.

“I mean, at least she asked, right? Like she could have decided to crash and show up out of nowhere. And you guys are totally over, right?”

“Duh, dude! You remember how bad the breakup was!” Ryan whispered intensely, not wanting Sasha to overhear. He shivered, not wanting to relive past trauma.

“Okay, well, is there someone you currently… y’know… want to be in a relationship with?”

“…What? Why?!”

“I don’t know, I guess just invite that person to the party and you won’t even notice Sasha because you’ll be too worried about impressing the other person!”

Ryan pushed the unfinished plate away from him and put his face on the table in mild frustration. He kept talking with his face down. “Do you want me to have a panic attack? My crush being at the party doesn’t cancel out the problem of my ex being at the party. If anything, the stress just compounds on itself…”

Dean couldn’t possibly know this unless he was extremely intuitive up until this point, but Ryan was noticing certain strong feelings around Johnny. Technically, Johnny was already invited, so now this meant that the stress would indeed compound on itself, and he just carelessly said yes to Sasha because things went so well this morning. And now that Johnny and Sasha were side-by-side in his mind, it was like a fog lifted. There was a revelation: the feelings he felt around Johnny were the same feelings he felt when he first dated Sasha. It was just so long ago at this point that it was almost like he forgot what a crush felt like.

“… dammit…”

It’s why he got so emotional yesterday – he wasn’t really upset about Johnny thinking the Redshore cast was perfect, he was just… upset. Upset that Sarah ended up likely being right about his feelings for Johnny. Upset because it felt like borderline Stockholm syndrome with all the constant pressure, but also felt like it was inevitable. Upset because he hated seeing Johnny being tired and making mistakes, because that just made him want to go up and hug him.

Upset because he kinda wanted to tell Dean and get it off his chest.

“Well, you’ve all but admitted you do have a crush on someone, and honestly, it’s about damn time,” Dean stuffed the final breadstick in his mouth. Ryan raised his head and stared. Maybe Dean was more intuitive than he got credit for.

“Why is it ‘about damn time’?”

“Dude, I don’t want my best friend to die alone. Oh, and Sarah and I bet money on it. Like, over a hundred dollars, so I’d like to get that back at some point. But honestly, I’m so invested in it at this point that I kinda don’t want to know who it is until it happens.”

Well… looks like I don’t have to say it just yet…

Ryan thought for a second. They had invited over thirty people at this point, many of which were decent friends and technically ‘date-able.’ If he confirmed that his crush was already invited, Dean was unlikely to narrow it down.

“I guess, well my crush was already invited.” Ryan’s stomach churned, both from hunger and the excitement of finally saying he had a bona fide crush on Johnny. Ryan pulled his plate back toward him and started eating again. The scale seemed to tip out of balance away from the dark feelings associated with Sasha and toward the mix of mostly positive feelings he had for Johnny. He sighed in relief – the whole ordeal could have been disastrous for the rest of rehearsal today.

“Let me know if you need me to hype you up at the party,” Dean said as he stood up and grabbed his empty plate.

“Thanks, but I can totally hype myself up,” Ryan stated smugly.

“Ooh, love the confidence. Keep that up and they’ll definitely fall for you.”

And just like that, in the span of several minutes, he went from someone just sort of passively experiencing all these emotions to now wanting to pursue them, nurture them.

What a roller coaster…

Chapter Text

Johnny’s POV

He had another set of nightmares.

One of them involved drowning, back when the original theater flooded and collapsed. Instead of him being able to push Meena through the front entrance, a piece of heavy rubble fell on him. It fell on his chest and immediately forced him to exhale. Then darkness pulled at his vision, and he realized that if he couldn’t push Meena out of the front entrance, it was likely that all his friends would drown too.

The next dream involved the opposite – he burned alive. The dreams kept cycling through various painful and awful ways to die to the point that it was almost comical. At one point, Johnny decided he had enough and became fully lucid, able to control the dream as he pleased. Once that happened, he immediately woke up. There was a shock that ran through his body followed by a wave of such extreme nausea that Johnny ran to the bathroom and lost his dinner from yesterday. There wasn’t much – he didn’t have an appetite.

He rested on the floor of the bathroom.

Why is this happening!?

There was a wave of terror as Johnny realized that this could be a permanent affliction because of his concussion from the accident. Up until now, he just attributed the nightmares to the stress of his feelings for Ryan and the start of a new show, but it was beginning to seem like the nightmares were unrelated.

An indeterminate amount of time passed before the nausea faded and he felt that he could safely stand up from the floor and start his impossibly long day. After showering and brushing his teeth (twice to remove the awful taste), he checked his phone.

It was only 4:30 am. He stifled a sob of frustration and slammed his phone down on his nightstand, then sat down on the edge of his bed. The only thing he could think of to kill this much time was to go for a run in the park. It would still be dark for a while, but the park was well lit.

Johnny ended up running 15 or so kilometers – way more than he’s ever run before. The frustration fueled him. His goal was to tire himself out to the point he was practically comatose, in a state that not even bad dreams could wake him. Unfortunately, it meant a day of hellish rehearsal.

Day three of rehearsals came and passed, a short moment in the grand scheme of preparing for a musical. But for Johnny, it felt like years, and every mistake a positive feedback loop draining his confidence and motivation more and more. It was probably starting to take a toll on Klaus and Sarah and even the other cast members, who seemed to always notice. At one point, Johnny snapped and yelled at Sarah. Johnny apologized immediately, but Klaus still sent him home early.

When he got home, he ignored his dad’s greeting and went to his room, slamming and locking the door. He laid down on his bed, put headphones in, and attempted to try to get a quick nap in before Ryan’s party. At least, assuming he was still invited after yelling at Sarah. He hugged a pillow to his chest, not even bothering to get out of his rehearsal clothes, and squeezed his eyes closed against tears of misery.

Somehow, against all expectations, Johnny was finally able to fall asleep.

Peaceful, blissful, untainted sleep. A sleep so deep that time passed instantly, without a single dream.

Johnny woke to a notification on his phone. He sat up and yawned and noticed it was almost dark outside. The nap, while much needed, left him a little groggy. It took a moment for him to remember the party. He frantically checked the time – it was a little after 7 pm, about a half hour after the party started. There was an earlier text from Ryan.

Hey, are you still coming to my apartment?

It was followed by the text that woke him up, separated by a few minutes.

Sarah said you had a rough day today, so if you can’t make it it’s no big deal, but I’d really like to see you. I missed you today

Johnny’s breath caught in his throat. Ryan missed… him? It was an oddly vulnerable text. Maybe Ryan was drinking at his party. Maybe it was pure and genuine. Maybe Johnny was thinking too hard about it. Regardless, it made Johnny feel a desperate urge to get to the party as soon as possible. Johnny responded.

Sorry! I fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm. Heading out now!

Johnny stood up, changed out of his rehearsal clothes as quickly as he could without simply tearing them off, put on a chic but casual outfit that worked well with his new leather jacket (a combo that would hopefully render a compliment from Ryan), and finished with a quick spray of cologne. He used a little more than normal, really hoping to catch Ryan’s attention. He grabbed his phone and ran out of his room, slamming into his dad on the other side.

“Whoa, son, are you okay? Slow down!”

“Sorry dad! I’m late for a party,” Johnny said as he tried to step around his dad. His dad grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

“Hey, what do you have a hot date or something at this party?”

Johnny was in such a rush that he didn’t think before he blurted out an affirmation.

“Uh yeah I do--!” He slapped his hand over his mouth and looked at his dad. “Er, I mean…”

His dad burst into his laugh and patted Johnny’s shoulder. “Attaboy, glad to see you putting yourself out there! Now why dontcha let me drive you in the truck so you don’t have to take the bus or your skateboard?”

Johnny was surprised at his dad’s reaction, but this was a good thing. He would get there much faster this way. Plus, his dad could pick him up afterwards.

“Uh, okay, but we gotta leave now. Oh, and would you be able to pick me up later?” Johnny started toward the truck in a hurry and hoped his dad would be right behind him.

“Wow, you really want to see this person, huh? Are you sure you need me to pick you up after?”

“…What do you mean?” Johnny turned and inspected his dad, who had a mischievous look on his face.

“Well, who knows what’ll happen tonight!”

Johnny blushed when he realized what his dad was implying. His jaw dropped.

“Oh my god, dad!!!” Johnny pulled at his face and turned to yank open the truck door. “I- I can’t even look at you right now!” He jumped in and slammed the door shut, leaning against the window. His dad opened the driver’s side and hopped in. He started the car and opened the garage door. Johnny’s face burned.

“It’s just a joke!” He chuckled and put the truck into the appropriate gear. They still used a manual transmission, so Johnny just sat quietly and listened to the gear shift, only breaking the silence to tell his dad where to drive to. By the time they arrived, his face was no longer on fire from embarrassment.

Johnny thanked his dad then hopped out of the truck. He waved and speed-walked inside, hearing the truck take off behind him. Since it was late at night after business hours, the creepy secretary was gone. He walked to the end of the hall and entered the elevator, pressing the third-floor button. He put his hands in his jacket pockets and tapped a foot absentmindedly until the ding, followed by the doors opening. He exited and walked down to door 300.

Music and muted voices leaked through the door before he even got close. Johnny grabbed the handle and turned it, hearing the full sound of the music when the door opened. He stepped in. The apartment was full of familiar faces scattered throughout a darkened room. There were LED lights hung up on the walls, and a disco ball strobe light reflected red, green, and blue lights around the room. Most people were holding red solo cups or cans and bottles of beer.

Wow! They really went all out for this party!

Johnny was wondering how they were avoiding neighbors complaining about the sound when Ash, Meena, and Nooshy all appeared.

“Johnny! You made it!” Meena grabbed Johnny and pulled him into a quick hug.

“Hey guys!”

“Where were you at rehearsal today? I was gonna suggest we all come together but I couldn’t find you! Are you okay?” Nooshy asked before taking a sip out of a red solo cup. In fact, Johnny noticed that they all had drinks.

“Oh uh, I left rehearsal early. I wasn’t feeling good, but I’m feeling better now. Wait though, what are you two drinking?” Sometimes he felt like the older brother of the two, even though he was only a few years older than them.

“Ash and I are just drinking sodas. Don’t worry, we’re being responsible!”

Johnny laughed and looked at Nooshy. “What about you?”

“Oh well, it’s my best friend’s birthday so I’m celebrating with something a little heavier.”

“Wait that’s right! Happy birthday Johnny!” Ash shouted as they all raised their cups for him.

“Thanks—” Johnny tried to state his appreciation, but Nooshy grabbed his arm and pulled him fully into the party. “Where are you taking me?”

“I’m getting you your first real drink!”

They ended up in the kitchen. There were bowls and trays of snacks and hor d’oeuvres throughout. Johnny quickly grabbed what looked like a cracker topped with some sort of savory spread and threw it into his mouth – he hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch. If he wasn’t careful, he could accidentally fall far beyond intoxicated on an empty stomach. He already threw up this morning, so he really wanted to avoid a repeat. Plus, he had rehearsals tomorrow – He’s seen his dad hungover before and it didn’t seem pleasant at all. Klaus has been fairly forgiving with his mistakes and screw-ups so far, but if he found out that Johnny was making mistakes because he was nursing a hangover, then there would be an uncomfortable conversation with Mr. Moon.

Nooshy grabbed a red solo cup and walked over to a large plastic carafe, or rather a jug – the kind they use in sports – and depressed the button. A dark red liquid poured out and quickly filled his solo cup. She turned and handed it to him. He sniffed it suspiciously, but it just smelled sweet and fruity.

“Don’t worry Johnny, I mixed it myself,” Sarah said as she walked over. “It’s just Hawaiian punch, pineapple juice, and some vodka.”

“It’s deceptively good, so don’t drink too much!” Nooshy said as she finished off her current cup. She filled her cup again before walking back toward Ash and Meena. Johnny took a small sip, expecting the vodka to stick out and burn in his throat, but he didn’t taste much beyond the Hawaiian punch. His face lit up and Sarah noticed.

“Nooshy’s right. When you can’t taste the liquor, it’s dangerous.”

“Why is that?”

“Liquor on its own tastes pretty bad, so most people have to sip and pace themselves. When people can’t taste it, they drink their drinks fast like they’re drinking juice. Just some advice for tonight and tomorrow. Oh, and happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” Johnny nodded then looked at his feet. “Um, about earlier –”

“Don’t worry about it, really. I know you’re working through some issues. Although right now you don’t look so bad.”

“Yeah, I was finally able to get some sleep,” Johnny took a large sip, already slightly forgetting their advice, “and get this, not a single nightmare! I really hope this is the end of my stress. I really do feel bad that you have to deal with me and my issues.”

“Hey, glad to hear you got some sleep! Just take it easy today and tomorrow! It’s supposed to be fun turning 21!” She shouted over a crescendo in the music. “And tomorrow is still happening right?”

“Of course! It’ll be fun!”

“Good, because Ryan, Dean, and I are bringing a present!” Sarah sang. “I know you said no presents, but this isn’t a typical present.”

Johnny laughed and nodded to show he was okay with that before taking another sip. “Oh, by the way, where is Ryan?”

“He’s around here somewhere!” Sarah paused for a second, “You know, he was actually pretty worried when you didn’t show up with Nooshy. I have a feeling he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Well, if you find him before me, let him know I’m here now. I want to talk to him.”

Sarah nodded and disappeared into the crowd. Johnny leaned against the kitchen counter and continued drinking his ‘first’ drink. It was surreal being at a party like this, especially since he didn’t go to college or even high school parties. Before he knew it, his drink was empty, and he poured another, filling the cup even more than before. At the same time, a popular song started on the speakers, so everyone began singing and dancing harder than before. Nooshy appeared in front of him like a specter, grabbed his arm again, and pulled him into the crowd back toward Ash and Meena.

They started dancing and singing along just like everyone else. Johnny’s chest and face began to feel fuzzy and warm, and his mood elevated. It was the best he’s felt in days.

He became tipsier over the next several songs. Eventually the dancing and singing calmed, and the group ended up in the back corner where they sat on the floor. Nooshy handed him a new solo cup with a clear liquid.

“What is this, straight vodka?” He slurred the question slightly then giggled.

“No! It’s water!”

“…Oh, that’s probably a good idea. Cheers mate!” Johnny chugged the water so fast that Nooshy didn’t even get a chance to sit down herself. She laughed and snatched the empty cup from him and went back to the kitchen. When she came back, she had more water and a plate full of snacks.

“Here, eat this.”

Johnny hungrily grabbed the plate and shoveled the food into his mouth. When he was done, the food left his mouth dry, so he drank more water. Eventually, Nooshy was satisfied that he wasn’t going to black out, so she let him go and mingle with other friends. He stood up and scanned the room for Ryan but didn’t see him. He frowned and walked away.

Nooshy called out after him, “No more drinks Johnny!”

Johnny gave her a sluggish thumbs up, then went to go find Ryan. Instead, he stumbled upon Dean, who was attempting to fix a strip of LED lights that fell loose from the ceiling. Johnny walked over and leaned on the wall to watch Dean. Dean noticed but kept fixing the lights.

“Hey Johnny! Can you hand me the roll of tape there?”

Johnny bent over and picked the tape up then dropped it into Dean’s free hand. Dean applied a few extra pieces of tape, then stepped down to inspect the strand of lights. It held.

“Hmm, that’s better! Lookin’ good, right Johnny?”

“hmm? Oh yeah…” Johnny giggled again, “Yeah it looks good!”

Dean caught on that Johnny was drunk and grinned. “I see you’re enjoying your b-day, but don’t get too crazy!”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ve been drinking only water now. Hey, you know what else looks really good?” Johnny hiccupped, “Or should I say, who else looks really good?”

Dean stared, slightly confused. His eyes narrowed but then a slight grin formed when he realized what Johnny was implying.

“Maybe let’s not go announcing anything just yet—”

Johnny didn’t listen, blurting out immediately, “Ryan… looks really good! He’s really cute… handsome… Hey, where is he? I really wanna talk to him but I haven’t seen him…” Johnny looked around the room for a second time, then looked back at Dean. Dean’s mouth was wide open.

“What’s wrong with you?” Johnny squinted and poked Dean’s cheek slowly and repeatedly.

“Whoa! Okay, come with me real quick,” Dean said as he grabbed Johnny’s wrist from his face.

Dean led Johnny through the crowd until he found Sarah. He whispered something to Sarah and then they turned around and headed to a closed door on the far side of the apartment. Sarah opened the door and the trio entered. The room was Sarah’s bedroom, judging by the décor. Sarah shut the door behind them, then turned and faced Johnny and Dean.

“Okay, what’s going on now? What did Johnny say that was so important?”

Dean turned and stared at Johnny. Johnny stared back. “I was jus’ sayin’ how I was looking for Ryan and still haven’t found ‘im!”

“No before that! After I said the strand of lights looked good.”

“Oh! Yeah, I said ‘you know who looks really good? Ryan looks really good! He’s really cute.’ and then your mouth was wide open and…” Johnny shook his head and experienced a brief moment of clarity.

“Oh…” Johnny turned and sat on the edge of Sarah’s bed and rubbed his temples. He was very dizzy now, the warmth and fuzziness slowly fading away. “oh my god… I really said that didn’t I?” He bent over and held his head in his arms. Sarah came over and sat next to him.

“So… just so I’m getting this right… You like Ryan?” She asked softly. Johnny hesitated, then nodded his head slowly. It was too late, and his mind was to sluggish to reason his way out of this.

“Ha! I knew it!” She shouted and pointed at Dean, “You owe me one hundred dollars!”

Wait, what?

He looked at Sarah with confusion and a slight grimace from her sudden loud outburst. She noticed and began to happily explain.

“We had a bet on who would get in a relationship with Ryan, and I was hoping it would be you!”

Dean walked over and crossed his arms, “No, the bet was on who we thought Ryan had a crush on! Not who Johnny has a crush on! You have it mixed up.” Sarah made a ‘hmmph’ sound then also crossed her arms.

“Wait, so you want me to date Ryan?” Johnny looked at Sarah, who grabbed him and shook him excitedly and uttered a flurry of yes’s. Johnny smiled, no longer feeling quite as much panic from earlier.

“But wait, Dean, you said that you bet on who Ryan has a crush on. So, he has a crush on someone…”

“Do you think it’s you?” Sarah grabbed his arm again.

“Uh, well… I don’t know… I could talk to him, but maybe I should be sober…”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Dean said as he turned and opened the door. “For now, I’ll just keep this to myself.” Dean left and rejoined the party. Johnny thought about letting Sarah know that Ash, Meena, and Nooshy already knew about his feelings for Ryan, but again, it was probably better to wait until he was sober.

“Anyway, let’s go back to the party too. I’ll take you back to Nooshy and them.”

Johnny stood and muttered a thanks. They left the room, the music back to full volume and no longer as muted by alcohol as before. Johnny realized he had to use the bathroom after drinking so much. He asked Sarah, who pointed out the bathroom down toward the other two bedrooms. He stumbled over and tried the handle, but it was occupied. Johnny leaned against the wall to wait, then figured it was probably a good time to text his dad to come pick him up. He sent the text then put the phone back in his pocket.

The music had a slight lull in between songs, and a cacophony of voices filled the gap. Johnny heard a familiar voice coming from one of the bedrooms. It sounded like Ryan, but there was also another voice. A female voice. It couldn’t be Sarah since he just left her. Maybe it was Nooshy. Johnny stood and walked that way. He arrived at the door, which was cracked slightly ajar, and peered in.

----

Ryan’s POV

Ryan sent the second text to Johnny about 20 minutes ago. He added the ‘I miss you’ at the last second, hoping it wouldn’t come off as desperate or needy. He took a sip of his own drink, which he planned to stretch throughout the whole party. He didn’t want to feel sick tomorrow, but more importantly, he wanted to be able to enjoy himself fully while at Johnny’s birthday party. Slipping his phone back into his pocket after a few moments with no reply, he sighed.

Sarah didn’t exactly go into detail about what happened at rehearsal today, just that Johnny was going through a rough patch. What Ryan really wanted to do was drive to Johnny’s garage and just… comfort him. Hold him while they watched a movie or something. But if he was worried a text was desperate, then something like showing up unannounced at his house would be infinitely worse. Besides, he was already drinking, so he couldn’t drive.

I wonder what Johnny’s favorite movie is.

Ryan pictured them sitting on his couch, throwing popcorn in each other’s mouths, laughing when they missed, sharing a blanket when it got a little cold. Ryan hoped that Johnny hasn’t seen Ryan’s favorite movie yet, so he could get the satisfaction of watching Johnny watch the best moments of the movie. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest, but the sense of desire for that simple scenario was so strong and bitter-sweet that he considered just chugging two or three more drinks to numb himself.

Before he could make it to the kitchen for more to drink, Ryan caught Sasha as she squeezed through the crowd. She must have tripped on someone’s foot because she fell hard onto Ryan’s chest, shouting and trying to keep her balance. The momentum pushed both of them against the wall. Ryan felt a string of LED lights press into his back. He pushed away from the wall, helping Sasha stand upright. The LED lights pulled off the ceiling and fell. He ignored them – someone else could fix them.

Sasha apologized profusely, confirming that her shoe caught on something in the darkened crowd. She bent over and adjusted her shoe before standing back up and looking at who saved her from faceplanting.

“Oh, Ryan… sorry!”

“It’s okay! No harm done!”

Sasha inspected Ryan’s outfit, which was a nice green button down left unbuttoned to reveal a grey shirt underneath. The grey shirt had a show logo from several years ago.

“Hey, your outfit looks good!”

“Thanks,” Ryan said as he adjusted the shirt to read easier.

“That show! Wasn’t that… back right after we broke up?”

Ryan thought for a second, “I guess it was.”

He didn’t expect Sasha to be so… blunt. Straight to the point.

“Well, glad to see your sense of fashion has improved! You never used to dress like this back then,” Sasha said with a short chuckle.

Ryan thought it odd that she was being so reminiscing about such a sensitive subject.

I probably should be careful with what I say…

“Yeah, I guess. We were both basically kids still.”

Sasha nodded in agreement. There was an awkward pause when both of them looked to the ground. It was interrupted when one of Sasha’s friends brought over a drink for her. Ryan thought the other drink was for her friend, but her friend gave the cup to Ryan. He still had his own drink to finish, so that was a little odd.

“Oh… uh… thanks,” Ryan held both drinks awkwardly in his hands. The friend waved bye to Sasha and left. Sasha laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take that drink off your hands if you don’t want it. But I noticed that you’re still on your first drink! Why?”

“I don’t want to go too crazy tonight. I have rehearsals tomorrow—”

Sarah interrupted him, “but that’s never stopped you before! I think you’re not telling me all the truth.”

He sighed. “Well, I also have Johnny’s birthday party to go to tomorrow. I figured that would be a better party to drink at. It’s also Friday tomorrow, so no rehearsals on Saturday to suffer a hangover through.”

Sasha seemed more satisfied with that reasoning. The music shifted tempos and grew in volume, distracting Ryan from the conversation. He took another sip, larger than before. He didn’t mind talking to Sasha, it’s just that he wanted much more to be talking to Johnny. The last time he had that strong desire to talk to someone was ironically with the very same animal standing in front of him. Sasha grabbed his attention again.

“Hey, so where is Johnny? I noticed you’ve been hanging out with him a lot lately, almost as much as with Dean and Sarah.”

“Oh, he said he would be coming but he hasn’t responded to my texts…”

Sasha stared, practically burning holes through him. Ryan wondered if she could tell he had feelings for Johnny – she did have personal experience with him having the same feelings for her. It wouldn’t be crazy for her to figure out on her own. Sasha shrugged.

“Maybe he’s running late. Anyway, um, I was wanting to ask you something uh, in private,” Sasha came closer.

Sasha’s statement was quiet, almost too quiet to hear over the music. Ryan’s heart rate spiked, but he wasn’t sure why. He pulled out his phone and saw that Johnny had responded almost a half hour ago. He grinned – Johnny was probably moments away as Ryan only lived about a half hour away from Johnny. If he could get through whatever Sasha was planning, then he would be able to be with Johnny.

“Who are you texting that’s making you grin like that?” Sasha pointed at him.

“Oh uh, don’t worry about it.” Ryan knew she wouldn’t be happy with that answer, but because of their bad history he knew she wasn’t in a place to argue to see his phone. She huffed but dropped it.

“Anyway, uh, can we go to your room to talk? It’s a bit loud and I don’t want other people hearing what we’re talking about.”

Ryan was suspicious, but he obliged. The two of them walked through the crowd hanging out in the hallway and entered his room. He turned on his room light and closed the door to a crack.

-----

Johnny’s POV

Johnny watched as Ryan and Sasha talked. The music was too loud, and he was still too tipsy to make out what they were saying. Seeing the two of them together in the room was a bit unusual, but Johnny didn’t think anything was wrong. They stood near his bed, the lamp on Ryan’s nightstand illuminating the room with long shadows. A few minutes in, Ryan sat down on his bed and sighed, shaking his head in obvious frustration. But what he was frustrated about Johnny couldn’t tell.

Johnny’s phone buzzed. He backed away from the cracked door and pulled it out. His dad texted, saying he was about five minutes away from the apartment. Johnny slipped his phone back into his pocket then looked back in the bedroom. The scene hadn’t changed much, but Johnny noticed Sasha’s cup was now on the nightstand. She reached over to one of the two cups that Ryan had and started drinking heavily from it. Ryan stood up and held up his hands. He was probably trying to get Sasha to drink more slowly.

It didn’t work though, and Sasha was done with the second cup. Ryan stared as he took the two empty cups and threw them in the trash bin next to the foot his bed. Sasha went and sat down on Ryan’s bed, in the spot Ryan just occupied moments prior. Ryan came over and sat next to Sasha.

Johnny felt a little bit creepy for staring as long as he did. He turned away to leave the party, but then felt a pang of sadness for not having spoken to Ryan at all during the whole night. Would it be considered an Irish goodbye? Johnny wasn’t sure, but it felt wrong anyway. He turned back to knock on the door, just to at least say goodbye. Just before his fist knocked on the door, Johnny saw something that sent a shock down his spine.

Sasha pulled Ryan into a kiss. A deep, heavy, intimate kiss.

Johnny jumped away from the door. Just like this morning, the shock made him violently nauseous. He turned around a little too quickly, his head spinning.

Get. Out.

He walked briskly to the front door, dodging friends and peers. He tried to stifle the nausea while making sure to remain as calm as possible. Everything was happening fast and at the same time crawling at a sickeningly slow pace.

I just… need to get out of here…

He bumped into a Redshore cast member from behind. They turned and glared. He apologized and kept moving. The music was loud and making his head throb with each beat. It sounded like someone was calling his name, but he didn’t bother stopping and looking.

The image of Sasha kissing Ryan was burned in his mind. It played on a continuous loop. He wondered if he was having another nightmare, but there was no possibility that he was asleep. All his senses were brutally firing, taunting him, no longer inhibited by alcohol. He stumbled to the front door, a trek that felt impossibly long for how small Ryan’s apartment was. Johnny turned the doorknob, hoping that his friends didn’t see the tears start streaming down his face, hoping that no one was outside in the hallway, hoping that the secretary was still gone. He slammed the apartment door shut, but the music would probably drown out the sound.

The hallway was empty and peacefully quiet. Johnny took a wobbly step toward the elevator but fell against the wall. His head tilted with worsening vertigo and his vision narrowed. The nausea came back. The only thing that helped him, kept him from breaking down right then and there, was the cool touch of the wallpaper lining the hallway. He ran his hand along the bumpy surface, using the haptic sense to center himself and distract from his other senses. It felt like the ground was undulating, but eventually Johnny made it to the elevator without falling.

"How did I end up with a son like you, eh? You're nothing like me. You never were, and you never will be."

"Dad, wait! I'll get the money! I'll get you out, I promise!"

Johnny hit his fist against the elevator call button. He swayed, his skull throbbing with a headache. The elevator dinged and opened. No one was inside. Johnny practically leapt into the elevator. He went to press the ground floor button, missed, then hit it on the second try. The doors shut. In a sort of sadistic manner, he kind of hoped that the secretary would be sprinting down the hallway again. He hoped that she would catch him this time and do all she could to end his suffering. The elevator began its jerking descent. Johnny leaned against the cool metal wall and stifled a sob.

"This is Redshore City, not your little local theater!”

“I shut down my show cause of a talentless little twerp called Buster Moon. Seriously, you should've seen this teeny, tiny loser. Oh, and his pathetic amateur friends... let's just say, whatever Podunk town they crawled out of, that's where they belong, cause it sure ain't this great city.”

"Oh, I thought maybe you had been involved in a terrible accident and we'd never have to see you again, but never mind."

Johnny burst out the elevator as soon as the doors were open wide enough to let him through. He just really needed fresh air. The front desk was still dark and empty. He pushed the front doors open and finally, after all the compounded psychological torture, he was free of that building.

He was out of breath still, but the cool night air flooded his lungs and relieved some of his nausea. He sat down on the curb and just let the tears run down his face, unblinking. A breeze rustled some nearby trees and disturbed the silence that was all too rare in a large city. So rare in fact that johnny’s trembling breath felt incredibly exposed to the world. As if everyone could hear it and was judging him. He tried to steady his breathing through long exhales, which also helped with the nausea.

Eventually, Johnny felt stable enough to think, to process. Why did seeing Sasha kiss Ryan hurt so much? Was it because Johnny was jealous? Was it because Ryan lied? Ryan didn’t really say that it couldn’t happen, just that they broke up before.

Maybe it was just the alcohol and Johnny witnessed something non-consensual on Sasha’s part, or at least something that was more of an accident than anything. He believed this option the least.

Johnny looked up to the sky and, through watery eyes, saw a dark field pierced by thousands of tiny little clusters of light. Some of them twinkled. Or maybe they were flickering, on the verge of dying out millions of lightyears away, which was about as far away as he felt he was from Ryan at this moment.

Still, the stars calmed him. They always did, especially with how rare it was to see them in a city full of pollution, light and otherwise. They calmed him when his dad was arrested. He sat on top of the garage (they had an access ladder) and just gazed. They calmed him when the cast made the terrifying decision to drop everything and drive from Calatonia to Redshore City. The drive was beautiful, and in between scenes of their bus rehearsal, he watched out the windows. There were two shooting stars, and even though he didn’t believe in wishing on them, he did anyway.

Thinking about it, his wish did come true. He wished that they would be cast in Redshore City, and against all odds (and the help of Gunter’s rambling imagination), they were. But now he wished they never made it, because then it would mean tonight never happened.

“I-I’ll just talk to Ryan tomorrow…” Johnny whispered to himself, wanting to go to bed and just forget it all. Nightmares aren’t so scary when life shows it can be scarier.

His dad would be here any moment and his face was still warm and wet with tears. He didn’t want his dad to ask questions, so he pulled himself together as best he could. He wiped the tears off onto his sleeve, then took several deep, slow breaths to calm his heart.

Johnny looked back up to the stars and found his favorite constellations – Sagittarius and Sagitta. The archer and the arrow. Most people have heard of Sagittarius since it’s one of the Zodiac, but few people knew how to find it in the sky. When he was a kid, his dad bought him an astronomy book for his birthday. It had all the constellations, how to find them, the time of year best for finding them, and more. After a few hours of carefully inspecting each constellation, Johnny decided that Sagittarius was his favorite. Of course, he was too young to get astrology and all that, so it wasn’t his sign per se. It’s been ages since he’s read or even knew where the book was, but at least Sagittarius was always there.

It's why the song 'A Sky Full of Stars' was one of his favorites.

There was a honk. A pair of headlights illuminated the road in front of Johnny. He stood up and walked over, already recognizing that it was his dad’s truck. He pulled the door open and hopped in, mentally preparing for questions about the party and having to leave out certain details. His dad smiled at him, so he forced one in return.

“…So how was the party?!”

“Uh, it was fine, dad.”

“Well, you don’t sound so excited about it. You feeling okay?”

“I think I drank a little too much. I just want to go to bed.”

“I get it. I’ve been there before several times!” His dad pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to Johnny, who accepted. Johnny took several large gulps before lowering the bottle and replacing the cap. He looked out the window as his dad started driving. There was some silence before his dad spoke up again.

“How was the date?”

Johnny sighed. “I wouldn’t call it a date, and besides, I really don’t want to talk about it right now…” Johnny’s voice trailed off as he fought a wave of emotions, worried that his voice would break.

Another period of silence. The truck turned down the road the garage was on. They would be home soon. Johnny rested his chin on his hand and watched the streetlights pass by. Eventually, he heard his dad hit the garage door button and turn off the road into the garage. Once the truck came to a complete stop, Johnny opened the door and stepped out without looking at his dad. The faster he was in his room and in bed, the better.

“Johnny!” His dad called after him, but he didn’t stop. While it felt wrong ignoring his dad, he didn’t have any more strength to lie. Johnny shut his bedroom door and locked it, took off his shoes, set his alarm, texted his friends to let them know he was home safe, and all but threw himself into his bed. He didn’t even take off his clothes, nor did he really care to.

A minute later and Johnny was asleep.