Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Desmond had been in the hatch for three months, approximately, when it happened for the first time. He’d been in a bad mood all day after Kelvin had, once again, gone out on his own for hours, not letting him even get a sniff of fresh air. Yeah, the Hostiles, the sickness and all the excuses Kelvin used to keep him in. It was to protect him, he said. When he questioned that, Kelvin said it was an order.
So, that left Desmond no other choice but to act out in the best way he knew how. He grabbed a bottle of scotch from the pantry and drank away. He was almost through with the bottle when his partner came back.

“Honey, I’m home,” Kelvin teased, like many times before. Desmond greeted him by lifting his bottle. Kelvin shook his head in disproval. “You’ve been busy, I see. Working on getting drunk?”

Desmond chuckled, drunkenly. “Is there a rule against that, brother?”

“Actually, you are required to be able minded for this task,” Kelvin replied matter of fact, but had no intentions on stopping Desmond.

“I pushed the damn button, didn’t I?” Desmond argued. “Besides, when I black out, you’re back to replace me.”

Kelvin eyed him with that severe stare of his, but he kept his lip gently curved up in a smirk. This could be interesting, he thought. “You plan on blacking out?”

Desmond answered with a lazy smile. “Aye.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“I insist.”

Kelvin got his gear off and approached the table, picking up the bottle and taking a couple of gulps down his throat.

“How about some music?” Desmond asked and stood up on unsteady feet. He was more drunk than he’d originally thought.

“Sure,” Kelvin said, following Desmond’s form with interest. His eyes trailing up and down the younger man’s body, then back up again. His fingers gripped the bottle tightly, eager to feel someone else’s warm skin once again.

When it seemed to Kelvin that Desmond was having some difficulty placing the needle on the record, he stood and walked up to him, reaching around him to do it for him while keeping his other hand casually on the shelf, so he was flanking Desmond with both his arms. He stayed there, waiting for Desmond’s reaction. The Scott pressed his back against Kelvin’s chest gently and Kelvin took the opportunity to bury his nose into Desmond’s brown curls, inhaling deeply. He smelled of the fruity Dharma shampoo, some tropical crap that Kelvin refused to use for the same strong smell, but it smelled rather appealing on Desmond. Unconsciously, Kelvin inched his hips forward, until his groin was pressed lightly against Desmond’s behind.

Seemingly ignorant to Kelvin’s advances, Desmond pushed past his arm to go get the bottle from the table.

Kelvin followed the other man with hungry eyes. It had been way too long without feeling the warmth of another and his blood was already pooling in his dick, eager to be buried inside someone. He had already noticed Desmond’s appeal, of course. It wasn’t something that had awoken this very moment. He’d been thinking about this for a while, taking any moment he was out on his own to relieve some of the tension, closing his eyes and imagining it was Desmond’s inner walls or mouth around his dick instead of his own hand, grunting the man’s name as he came. Now, he had his chance to experience the real thing and he was not going to waste it.

“How ‘bout some red now?” Desmond asked after he swallowed the last drops of scotch.

“Perfect,” Kelvin said, sitting on their yellow couch. It was obviously not going to perfect for Desmond in the morning, but Kelvin didn’t care. When Desmond came back from the pantry, he patted the empty space next to him. The man took the hint and sat next to Kelvin.

“Here ya’ go,” Desmond said, handing over the bottle for him to open. Kelvin did, took a small sip and handed it back. “Cheers, brother,” said Desmond and drank away.

To Kelvin’s delight, Desmond was fast on his way to utter drunkenness. His eyes where becoming sleepy and he was laughing at everything Kelvin told him. He was even okay with the fact that Kelvin’s hand sat casually on his right thigh, inching inward ever so slightly.

“So, tell me, Desmond,” Kelvin said, eyes fixed on the other man’s mouth as it wrapped greedily around the bottle to drink straight from it. “You got some…oral skills you’d like to share with me?”

Desmond laughed, almost choking on the wine. “You asking what I think you’re asking?” Kelvin shrugged, giving Desmond’s thigh a little squeeze. Desmond’s eyes followed the gesture lazily. He then reached down to grab Kelvin’s hand and pushed it off his thigh. “Whatever skills I have, I’m not sharing them with ya, brotha’.”

“And why if I may ask?” Kelvin said, playfully reaching over to run his fingertips down Desmond’s arm.

Desmond shook his head, chuckling. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“It could be years, Desmond,” Kelvin pointed out. “What’s the point of waiting till you’re desperate?”

“I love Penny,” Desmond said, but did nothing to move away from the hand now massaging his shoulder.

Kelvin snorted, casually sliding his hand behind Desmond’s neck, where it started to play with the guy’s soft hair. “Who said anything about love?”

“Either way, I’m not cheating on her…even though she’s sort of moved on,” Desmond replied, muttering that last bit, but didn’t do much to move away from the fingertips caressing his scalp. In fact, he closed his eyes and leaned back a bit, seemingly enjoying the gesture.

“She moved on?” Kelvin asked with interest. “I didn’t know this.”

“She hadn’t set a date when we last spoke, but…” Desmond trailed off, drinking more wine instead of finishing.

“Oh? So, she’s move on,” Kelvin said, fighting to hide the mirth in his tone. “But anyway, Des,” he said, reaching with his other hand for the other’s thigh again and leaning closer to the man’s face. “This isn’t about cheating, this is about relieving some tension,” he whispered close to Desmond’s ear and boldly, let his hand slid closer to the man’s groin. “One brother…helping another,” he huffed, lips touching Desmond’s temple briefly. “And no one will ever know.”

At this, Desmond turned his face to look at Kelvin. He was having trouble grasping the other man’s real intentions. In his inebriated state, he actually thought Kelvin was just having a laugh. So, when the man kissed him and cupped his groin, he did nothing to stop him. It even felt good and, in his state, Desmond couldn’t reason why it was wrong.

Kelvin, on the other hand, was very aware of his intentions. His mouth left Desmond’s mouth and it kissed its way south to the man’s neck while his other hand started rubbing the younger man’s growing erection up and down through his clothes, knowing damn well the effect it would have on Desmond and knowing also the other man was not in any condition to give consent.
Desmond hummed and moaned softly, letting his head roll back till it was resting on the back of the couch while Kelvin continued his ministrations.

Kissing the expanse of Desmond’s neck, Kelvin pulled the Dharma overall zipper down all the way and slid the white t-shirt up, impatient to bare the chest he’d lusted to map out with his mouth for months. Meanwhile, Desmond seemed lost in his own little world. He had his eyes closed and was humming along to the song playing on the record. Smiling to himself, Kelvin moved up to lap at the vibrating column of the man’s throat, rolling his teeth over it, gently.

“Your beard’s tickling me, brother,” Desmond mumbled though a chuckle and did little to prevent Kelvin from pulling his overall down his arms and torso.

Kelvin returned the chuckle and looked up at the other man’s dazed eyes. He was aware that Desmond would not be so pliant and accepting of his advances were he sober, so he decided to take full advantage of the other’s state and make every second count.

“You want me to let you in on a little secret, Des?” He said, sliding up to get closer to Desmond’s face.

“Depends,” Desmond said and took yet another drink. Kelvin figured if the man didn’t stop drinking right now, he’d be unconscious for what happened next. Not that he cared much.

“Did you know Dharma Initiative thought of everything?” he said, leaning even closer to Desmond so their breaths mingled.

“No,” Desmond replied drunkenly and started to chuckle. For some reason, this whole thing was hilarious to him. Kelvin clearly had spent way too much time alone in here. Though he couldn’t deny the man’s ministrations had felt rather good, especially in his groin area. He reached down to feel himself and found he was half hard, even.

“Two men, trapped together for years…” Kelvin went on. “They thought: Something must be bound to happen between them in all those years,” he said, eliciting a chuckle from Desmond. “Except, I never saw the use for it while Radzinsky was around,” Kelvin pointed out and pushed himself up with both arms. Desmond followed him with his sleepy gaze as the man walked to the pantry.

“What’s that they thought of, Kelvin?” Desmond asked once Kelvin came back carrying a box in his hands.

“So curious,” Kelvin crooned and leaned down to kiss the other’s hot mouth hungrily. It felt like heaven to be able to explore someone’s mouth again. “Lube,” he said, close to Desmond’s face, then kissed him once more. “And condoms.”

“Oh?”

Kelvin chuckled. “Indeed.”

Desmond did his best to grasp this new information in his drunken mind. “Who would be wearing the condoms, though, brother?”

“Me, of course,” Kelvin said matter of fact. To his delight, Desmond didn’t question him one bit, but started chuckling drunkenly and took another gulp of wine. “Now, how about you take off that overall?”

Ignoring him, Desmond stood up and swayed on his feet a little before turning to face him. “I’m turning in. Have fun with your condoms.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Des,” Kelvin replied sternly.

“Yeah? And why is that?”

“Because I’m not done with you. Now take off that damn overall,” Kelvin growled and pulled the garment down Desmond’s hips, making him lose his balance and end up sitting back on the couch. Kelvin stood up to pull Desmond’s shoes off and with them, the rest of the overall.

“You really think you’re gonna fuck me, brother?” Desmond asked drunkenly, from his sprawled position on the couch. The alcohol was doing its part and he could barely keep his eyes open anymore.

With a smirk, Kelvin leaned down and grabbed both of Desmond’s hands, pulling him from the couch. “Let’s get you to bed, Des.”

He helped the other man toward the bedroom and when Desmond made to climb up to the top bunk, Kelvin held him back and helped him into the bottom bed instead. “Not safe for you to sleep up there in this state.”

“Always looking out for me,” Desmond commented with mirth as he laid down on the bottom bunk as instructed, with his back to Kelvin. He immediately closed his eyes and willed his mind to drift off, even though the room kept spinning out of control. He grunted in discomfort, but in a couple of minutes, he started to fall into a deep, drunken slumber.

After turning off the music, the lights and entering the code into the computer, Kelvin went back to the bedroom and took off his own overall. He then climbed into bed behind to Desmond. His hands wasted no time in their desperate search for skin, sliding underneath Desmond’s white t-shirt to caress the warm skin covering the man’s hip. Desmond breathed deeply, but said nothing otherwise. So, Kelvin took this as a sign to continue his bold advances.

Already hard, he slid his hand from Desmond’s hip down to his lower back and further south where he grabbed the thin white garment covering the man’s behind and pulled it down, not without caressing the smooth curve of the flesh mounds with the back of his hand. It’d been so long that the mere sight of the bare backside made him grunt with desire and his hardness twitch.

Inching his hips forward, Kelvin pulled his own briefs down, freeing his painfully hard erection. He grabbed himself and guided the tip to trace the length of the cleft presented to him. Under the dim light, he could barely see the small trail his precum left on the skin, but he knew it was there. He wanted to lick it clean, but he was too impatient for that. Maybe some other time.

With his teeth, Kelvin opened the packaged condom then rolled it on quickly. He then slathered his shaft with lube and poured a generous amount on two of his fingers. Then, he grabbed Desmond’s thigh, pushed his leg upward to reveal more of his entrance and used his two fingers to breach it.

Desmond grunted as the digits penetrated him. Kelvin stopped moving, waiting for an unfavorable reaction. Nothing more came out of the Scotsman, so Kelvin pushed his fingers further in and began to scissor them gently. Desmond was tight, and Kelvin knew he should take more time to prepare him, but at the moment, he was lucky he could continue to think straight. All he had in mind was to be inside Desmond.

Giving up on trying to contain himself, he pushed Desmond’s right leg further up, lined up his cock with the waiting entrance and pushed in until he bottomed out. Desmond grunted in his sleep, waking himself up.

“What…?” Desmond murmured, confused. He had no idea what was happening, only that something was causing him great discomfort. “No,” he moaned, trying to move away from the source of his pain, but an arm wrapped around him from behind, keeping him in place. “Kelvin?”

“Shhh, just, relax Des.”

“What’re you—?” Desmond managed to utter before Kelvin pulled out a bit and pushed in once more, causing Desmond to yelp in pain. “Bloody bastard, you’re hurting me!”

“You’re gonna take what I give you, Desmond,” Kelvin said and pulling out again, he maneuvered Desmond unto his back so he was now fully on top of the other man.

“No. Stop!” Desmond cried, trying to push Kelvin’s body off of him, but Kelvin was stronger and heavier and he grabbed Desmond’s wrists to push his arms up and on each side of Desmond’s head. He then angled his hips, thrusting deeper and harder into the impossibly tight passage.

“You like this,” Kelvin muttered against Desmond’s ear. “I know you do.”

“Please, Kelvin, pull it out,” Desmond groaned through gritted teeth, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “It hurts.”

“Alright, Dessy. I’ll slow down. But I won’t pull out so you better get used to my girth,” Kelvin said and leaned down to cover Desmond’s mouth with his own, muffling the Scot’s cries of pain as he continued to thrust in and out until he was completely spent.

When he pulled out, Kelvin made sure Desmond stayed on the fake window side of the bed, so he couldn’t attempt to escape, and wrapped an arm around him. “You sleep now. I’ll push the button.”

Desmond grunted in pain and attempted to get up from the bed, but Kelvin stopped him. “Settle down!” he commanded and since Desmond was still very wasted, he obeyed, exhausted.

About an hour later, Kelvin woke up to Desmond attempting to climb over him, so he tightened his grip on the other’s middle and gave him a shake. “What is it?”

“Gonna be sick,” Desmond managed to say, before he tried again. This time, Kelvin let him go, though Desmond’s foot got tangled in the sheets and he lost his balance, falling face first on the floor. He cried out in pain as his hand landed wrong, so Kelvin stood up quickly, going to the man’s aid.

“Let me help you, Des,” he said in an almost soothing, paternal tone. He helped Desmond to the bathroom where the man emptied the contents of his stomach, then helped him back to bed, where he helped Desmond into his briefs again, since he’d been wearing nothing but his white t-shirt. But the man was so out of it, Kelvin doubted he’d even question his nakedness in the morning.

Desmond slept till midday, yet he wished he could’ve just slept all through to the night, because he felt like he’d been through hell and back. He wasn’t even on his top bunk. He was in Kelvin’s bed. Kelvin was gone though.

The memories from the night before didn’t immediately come to Desmond. And when he attempted to get up from the bed and a sharp pain shot up his spine, he was more confused than anything. He berated himself for getting so bloody drunk. He could hardly remember anything that happened last night.

Kelvin made his appearance then, startling Desmond. “Ah. You finally decide to join the land of the living.”

Suddenly, a blurry flash of Kelvin on top of him, hurting him, came to Desmond’s memory. He didn’t know why exactly or if the images were even real, but Desmond felt it was important to get away from the man.

“What, Desmond?” Kelvin said in an ominous tone. “Is there something you wish to tell me?”

And then more flashes that made Desmond’s skin crawl. Kelvin kissing him. Touching him. Penetrating him.

And the pain. Oh, the pain.

No, it couldn’t be, Desmond thought and tried to will the images away.

“Des?” Kelvin pushed, stepping closer.

Desmond took a step back, his hands trembling and his chest constricting. His heart picked up its pace and his stomach tightened into knots. He felt sick. And to his own disbelief, he realized he couldn’t utter the words out loud. Kelvin had raped him.

He glared up at the man sneering at him. You raped me, he wanted to say. Yet, the accusation was stuck in his throat, gripping it like a vice. Kelvin continued to stare him down, challenging him. And Desmond backed down.

“My head’s pounding,” he said at last, lowering his gaze. Charles Widmore was right. He was a coward.

“That’s no surprise given all you drank last night. I’ll get you some pain killers,” Kelvin said and disappeared from view. Desmond took the chance to grab his towel and hurry to the bathroom for he felt unbearably dirty. He wasdirty.

The first tears started falling like encouraged by the water cascading down Desmond’s back. He wanted to scream, cry out. Go out and scream at Kelvin, accusing him of assault. But what would that accomplish? He was trapped in there with the other man. There was nowhere to go. And letting it all out would only serve as an uncomfortable subject that they’d have to tip toe around for the entirety of their stay there, that for all Desmond knew, could be for the rest of their bloody lives.

When he walked out of the bathroom, he could sense Kelvin’s eyes on him, so he wrapped the towel tighter around his body, cursing his stupidity for not bringing clothes with him. Desmond never thought he’d feel this way. Leered at and in display. Naked in front of another in ways he’d never felt before.

Hurrying back to their shared bedroom, Desmond grabbed some clean undergarments and hastily put them on. He’d bled last night and it’d been no fun fee to get the dried blood cleaned out. He’d even bled some more in the process and he was worried he’d stain his white briefs. And it still hurt like hell.

“Here are your pain killers.”

Desmond jumped, startled. He grabbed the white shirt and put it on before he turned to face Kelvin, who was studying him with a sleazy grin. It was actually the same manner the man had looked at him since the beginning, but now Desmond knew what hid behind it.

“Aren’t you gonna take them?” Kelvin said, holding the pills out for him to take along with a cup of water.

Awkwardly, Desmond nodded, taking the offered pills and water from the man. “Thank you.”

“Anything you need, Des,” said the man and, thankfully, left him alone.

Desmond opened the pill container with trembling hands and popped two pills into his mouth, then washed them down with some water. He then sat heavily on the bed, cursing as it caused his abused backside to hurt. He covered his face with both hands and sobbed into them.

This could not be happening, he thought. And why was Kelvin so damn collected about the whole thing? Was he so sure there would be no retaliation on Desmond’s part? Maybe Kelvin counted on him not remembering anything, but how could he not? Sure, he was wankered. Sure, his memories of the night before were scattered and blurry, but the parts he did remember were more than telling. And he remembered the pain vividly. The worst part was that Desmond clearly remembered the moment when they had been on the couch and Kelvin had begun his ministrations. He remembered how he’d done nothing to stop him, laughed at it even, and that he’d only reacted when the man had been inside him and the pain became too real to ignore.

Days went by since the attack and Desmond kept quiet about it, trying his best to ignore his memories about the whole thing, yet failing miserably. In fact, he kept getting more flashes instead. He kept quiet in general. Kelvin didn’t push him to talk, however, but it was clear he was watching him closely, almost challenging him to say something. And Desmond felt more trapped than he’d felt ever before in that place; like a cornered animal, tense and afraid, waiting for his predator to attack once again.

And attack he did.

Chapter Text

One of the first rules Desmond had learned from Kelvin was that guns inside the armory were off limits for him. So, Kelvin had full control of the armory and that meant him and only him could handle the weapons in there. He kept the combination of the door to himself and stated Desmond wasn’t ready to have knowledge of it. To which Desmond had argued that he’d been in the army and that he could handle them perfectly. Kelvin, however, just brushed him off. It was only when Desmond learned about Radzinsky’s death, that he understood Kelvin’s motives a little better.

Except, Desmond knew better now. It was all about control.

“Desmond?”

It had been nearly two weeks since the first incident and Desmond still had trouble calling it by its name, even to himself. Not to mention how taxing it was to avoid the man when they lived in such an enclosed space together, even more so trying to mask his utter terror and contain his flee or fight reaction when the man came too close to him.

“Des!”

He could ignore that, Desmond knew, but what good would it do? Kelvin would just walk the ten paces that separated them to find him.

With a defeated sigh, Desmond climbed down his bed and went to the lounge area to meet his partner. “What is it?”

Kelvin sat on the couch, beckoning Desmond over. He had a gun in his hand and he lazily pointed it at Desmond.

Desmond stood there, rooted to the spot, eyeing the weapon warily. “What’re you doing?”

“I just need some relief,” Kelvin said in a sleazy tone and moved his free hand down to his crotch to touch himself. “Would you be a dear and help me out?”

“What?” Desmond asked in a strained voice. His chest and stomach once again a mess of anxious knots.

Kelvin chuckled. “I think it’s about time you stop pretending you can’t remember what happened the other night. Don’t you, Des?”

“I--I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Desmond stuttered, paralyzed with fear and making himself an even easier prey to catch for the other man. He’d been naïve to believe he could just push the memories aside and make what had happened disappear.

“You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been hiding from me all the time? How you don’t work out anymore?” Kelvin went on with a mock-nostalgic tone, thinking back on all those wonderful moments he was able to admire Desmond’s tanned body freely. “How you stopped going about your business in nothing but your towel after showering, or how you won’t parade around in just your underwear anymore, like you used to do so comfortably? I gotta say, Des…I miss those times.”

“Stop,” Desmond said, knowing exactly what the man was talking about, he just hadn’t wanted to think about it. On hindsight, it was evident Kelvin had leered at him since the start. He’d even commented on his body, complimenting him in a playful manner that Desmond had bushed off as the guy just teasing him. He’d been so naïve.

“C’mere, Des,” Kelvin beckoned in an almost sweet tone, if not for the gun sitting innocently on his right thigh. “Help me out here.”

“No,” Desmond said in a trembling voice that got progressively steadier. “You won’t touch me again.” He added, figuring it was pointless to continue to deny what had happened.

“C’mon, Des,” Kelvin said in such an easy, relaxed manner that made Desmond wary. “Just let go. I’ll make you feel good, if you let me.”

“No! You’ll hurt me…again.”

“I promise I’ll be gentle,” Kelvin continued to talk to Desmond in that sweet yet patronizing tone, seeking to bring down the other man’s defenses and make him feel somewhat at ease. “Last time, I was rather…desperate. It won’t be the same this time,” he promised, standing up from the couch and stretching out into his full, imposing size, then made to approach his fleeing partner.

“Stay away from me!” Desmond yelled, moving around the kitchen island to use it as a barrier between him and the other man. Kelvin was actually trying to play down what he'd done to him, he thought with anger.

“Where do you plan on running to, huh, Desmond?” Kelvin said with a tired sigh as he leaned on the island; gun still loosely held in his grip, like he was sure Desmond wouldn’t reach for it.
He was wrong.

“There’s nowhere to go,” Kelvin continued. “Unless you want to go out there with the hostiles and risk getting ill.”

“I don’t bloody care! Any where’s better than here, with you,” Desmond yelled and ran toward the door, hands managing to grip the wheel and started turning it.

At this, Kelvin charged at Desmond and grabbed him around the waist from behind, pulling him back against his chest. “You’re not going out there!”

“Let go of me!” Desmond yelled, reaching for the gun that was loosely held in Kelvin's grip. He easily grabbed it and managed to push back with his body until Kelvin had taken a couple of steps back before he struggled free of the man’s hold. He turned around then, holding up the gun. “Stay away or I swear I’ll kill you!” This did not have the desired effect, for Kelvin started laughing.

“I was debating with myself whether or not you’d have the stones to take the gun from me. But hey, I was practically handing it over to you. So, kinda hard to tell.”

“Stay back!” Desmond yelled, but Kelvin continued to be unfazed as he slowly began to approach him.

“If they had trained you properly in your nice old lady’s army, you would be able to tell by the weight alone that it’s not loaded.”

Eyes widening in fear, Desmond checked the gun quickly. Indeed.

Kelvin took the opportunity to charge at Desmond once again. This time, he pushed him against the wall, pressing his body against Desmond till the man could feel his erection against his thigh.

Desmond recovered from the shock quickly and resumed his struggles. “I’m gonna go! You can’t stop me forever!”

“No, Des. You don’t go out there. You stay here!” Kelvin ended angrily and practically threw Desmond in the other direction, toward the sleeping area.

Desmond managed to keep his footing and was now panting, leaning against the wall. Kelvin was panting too, but he seemed awfully determined. Way more than Desmond.

“You will learn how to follow orders if it’s the last thing I do. And I’m gonna get what I want from you, with your permission or not.”

“No!”

It’d been almost a year and a half since he’d gotten to the island and Desmond still couldn’t fully resign to the idea that he’d become the other man’s prisoner. Yet Kelvin did with Desmond as he wanted, blaming him for fighting back, blaming him for not fighting back, for getting and erection, for not getting an erection, for crying and shouting, for staying silent; blaming him for everything he did wrong in Kelvin’s eyes. Clearly, the man knew what he was doing. He was skillfully assaulting Desmond’s sanity, looking to break him completely. And he was succeeding.

They’d been struggling for some time. Kelvin had Desmond against the wall and he was trying to have his way with him again. He’d been drinking, so he was being even more pushy and aggressive than usual. He already had Desmond half undressed, dressed only in a lose white shirt and partly unbuttoned, but the man kept struggling. Until Kelvin grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back and pressed his full weight against the man to immobilize him. Kelvin then grabbed the man’s hip to steady him and pushed inside him in one go.

Desmond cried out in pain, renewing his struggles to get away. It was always this way with them. Sometimes, Desmond was just too worn out emotionally and physically to fight back or to fend off Kelvin’s insidious mind games. Other times, each time less frequent, his barely there will to fight back came back in full force. Today, it was the later.

Sometimes he succeeded in getting away, tiring out Kelvin until the man backed off for a few days. Other times, most times, Kelvin would just get what he wanted from him. But today, Desmond’s mental state was on the edge of a breakdown and the mere thought of Kelvin being inside him once more made his skin crawl.

“Let me go, you bastard! Let me go!”

Due to Desmond’s desperate struggles, Kelvin was forced to pull out. He backed away a bit and Desmond, now free of the pressure keeping him perched against the wall, fell to the floor.

Kelvin stood there, waiting for Desmond to get back on his feet and confront him. Punch him. Scream at him and try to hurt him in any way possible. Desmond, however, just curled in on himself and sobbed pathetically on the floor. “Desmond, Desmond…” he shook his head and clicked his tongue, squatting down to pat at the sobbing man’s messy curls. “Why would you do this to yourself when you know I can make you feel so good,” he taunted, eager to find out just how far he could push Desmond. “I’m all you got, Des. It’s about time you start realizing that.”

Weakly, Desmond started to get on his feet; the other man doing the same. He wanted to hurt Kelvin in some way. Try to beat him in his own game. Drive him as mad as he was driving him.

“Hope you keep that armory lock combination real safe,” Desmond said menacingly, glaring at Kelvin. “Cuz on the very first chance…I’ll off myself, brother. And you’ll be all alone with your button again.”

Kelvin chuckled. “And I was considering giving it to you soon,” he lied. “Thought you’d be ready. Thank you for letting me know you aren’t.”

Desmond glared at him through tearful eyes. “Gunshot ain’t the only way I can off myself and you know that. Next time you go out, you should be careful with taking too long. Might already be gone when you get back and you might not get to push the damn button on time.”

It was Kelvin’s turn to glare. “What are you playing at, Des?”

“How about when you’re sleeping?” Desmond kept going. “I’ll be gone once you wake up, like your former partner. You seriously would risk being all alone again?”

Kelvin sneered arrogantly. “I’ve managed just fine.”

“Oh yeah?” Desmond smiled what appeared to be a sweet smile, but it was loaded with darkness. “Wouldn’t be so sure about that, pal. We both know that replacement story is just that. A story. Nobody’s coming, Kelvin. It’ll be just you. You and your bloody button. Till you die.”

Angry, Kelvin grabbed Desmond by the neck, pushing him back against the shelf roughly, eliciting a pained whimper from the man. “Maybe I should just kill you myself then and save me the surprise,” he huffed close to Desmond’s face. “No one knows you’re here but me. You’re completely at my mercy. I decide whether you live or die.”

Desmond tried desperately to pry the hands off from around his neck for it was starting to get hard to breath. He realized then, he’d played with fire and he’d gotten burned.

“You’re mine, Desmond,” Kelvin huffed against the other’s mouth. Then, with an open-mouthed kiss to muffle down any complaint, Kelvin reached down and lifted Desmond’s legs from underneath, practically bending him in half, until the man’s calves where on his shoulders. He pushed in fast, in and out, in and out. And Desmond was unable to do anything more than hold onto Kelvin’s neck as he cried.

When Kelvin pulled out, he lowered the man’s legs until Desmond was standing on shaky legs. He kept him trapped against the wall, though and, grabbing him by the chin, pulled the man in for a hungry kiss.

“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” He asked after he broke the kiss. Desmond tried to look away, but Kelvin held the man’s chin on a vice like grip. “You can deny it all you want, but I know you did. Now go take a shower! You’re leaking cum all over the floor,” Kelvin ordered, pushing the other man onward.

Desmond lost his footing and ended up in a heap on the floor, weeping. He then muttered something inaudible for Kelvin under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I’m gonna kill you,” he repeated, loud and clear this time. All his hatred toward the man seeping through his voice.

Kelvin’s voice roared with laughter. “I’d like to see you try," he said, as he put his clothes back on. "But Des, my bet is against you. You don’t have the balls to even try.”

Desmond glared up at the other man, grinding his teeth. He got up quickly and lurching forward, he grabbed two handfuls of the front of man’s shirt and started to shake him. “You bloody bastard! I see why Radzinsky blew his head off. You drove him mad!”

“I had nothing to do with that,” Kelvin growled defensively, pushing Desmond’s hands away. “If he shot himself, it was his decision and his alone.”

“You probably pushed him to it!” Desmond yelled back. “You’re doing the same to me!”

“I never did anything to him!” Kelvin snapped defensively. “And I had no interest in him in that way,” he added, guessing what Desmond was implying.

“Oh, that makes me feel bloody special, then,” Desmond replied with sarcasm. “Lucky me!”

Kelvin shook his head in disproval. “You’re going to keep playing the victim, I see.”

“What?” Desmond huffed, disbelieving of what he was hearing.

“You heard me. But go ahead and keep blaming me for your incapacity to handle pressure.”

“You bloody psychopath,” Desmond whispered, staring at the man in disbelief. “You stole my life! Stop trying to manipulate me!” He yelled at Kelvin and ran toward the kitchen island to grab a knife. “You say I can’t kill you, yeah?” He told Kelvin with a crazy look in his eyes. “Well, I can kill myself.”

True, he wasn’t thinking clearly. The fact that Kelvin acted like he’d done nothing to him all these months, like everything was his own fault, drove him up the wall. And there was nothing he could do to dodge the man’s manipulative attacks. He wasn’t armed for them. All he could do was stop them altogether. He grabbed the knife and pressed it against the delicate skin of his wrist, determined to end it all for good.

When it dawned on Kelvin what he was trying to do, he lurched at Desmond and grabbed the man’s hand holding the knife, keeping it away from the man’s inner wrist. “Stop it, Desmond!”

“No!” Desmond screamed, fighting the man for the control of the weapon. “I’m stopping this madness, once and for all!”

“Snap out of it!” Kelvin snapped and snatching the knife from the frantic man’s hand, he backhanded Desmond hard on the cheek, making him stagger backwards. He then tossed the knife inside one of the drawers and shut it closed.

Desmond was panting, staring at the trickle of blood running down his arm with horror. “Is this what you wanted? Is this where you were pushing me toward?”

“No, Desmond. Of course not,” Kelvin said in what sounded like a soothing tone. “All I ever wanted was to take care of you.”

Desmond brought both his hands up to his head where they gripped at his hair. “Stop,” he sobbed, feeling on the brink of complete insanity. “You just raped me. Again. How is that taking care of me?”

“I would never do anything to you unless I knew that, deep down, you wanted it too,” Kelvin said in a mellow tone, approaching Desmond slowly. “And you want it, Des. I know you do you. And you would see it too if you would just…let go.” Catching the man off guard for he had closed his eyes, Kelvin reached around Desmond and hugged him tight against his chest, then began to caress his back slowly. “Just let go, Des. I’ll take care of you,” he said, keeping his mellow tone.

“No!” Desmond said, snapping out his sudden reverie. “I don’t want it! Stop lying to me!” He cried, pushing his fists against Kelvin’s chest, but the other man kept a firm hold on his lower back and there wasn’t much punching he could do. “I’m never gonna let go,” he finished weakly, losing the battle and going limp against the other man.

Kelvin leaned down to speak closer to his ear. “I’m all you got, Des. It’s you and me now. So, you better start warming up to the idea that it’s very likely that you and I will grow old together.”

And Desmond sobbed.

To Desmond’s surprise, his threats of suicide followed by his incident with the knife had their desired effect on Kelvin. The next day, he didn’t go out like he always did. In fact, he didn’t go out for the rest of the week. And he hid all the knives and sharp, pointy objects in the armory. The downside was that he was there all day long, hovering over Desmond, driving him crazier.

They were eating in silence when Kelvin set his glass of wine down after taking a big gulp. “Alright, Des. You got me. So how about we get to some kind of…agreement?”

Desmond chewed on his food numbly, silently studying Kelvin.

“I admit I’ve been a tad…rough with you,” Kelvin sighed, hating to have to take a step back on his approaches. He was an experimented torturer and he knew when he’d gone a tad too far too fast. “And I’m willing to modify my behavior from now on.”

In response, Desmond shook his head and let out a mirthless chuckle then grabbed his glass and gulped some wine himself. Kelvin was right down evil.

“What’s so funny?”

“You arsehole,” he huffed, glaring at Kelvin. “At least have the decency to admit to your full guilt!”

“Now, Des,” Kelvin said in a soothing tone, trying to calm Desmond down a bit. “Don’t get overdramatic—”

“Overdramatic? You’ve raped me, you crazy bastard!”

“Rape?” Kelvin said through a chuckle, choosing to just push the other’s limits instead. “No, I wouldn’t call it that, Dessy. Specially since you happen to enjoy it so much. I recall, specifically last night, you moaning with pleasure while I fucked you against the bookshelf. And you get hard every time. You cum every time, Desmond. Now, how can you call it rape if you enjoy it so much?”

“Stop,” Desmond sobbed in despair, putting both his hands over his ears in a naïve attempt to block out Kelvin’s insidious words. “Stop lying to me!”

Kelvin reached across the table to grab at Desmond’s wrists and pry them off his ears. “If I’ve hurt you so much, why are you sitting here across from me, eating dinner with me like nothing happened? How come you haven’t run off yet?”

Desmond snatched his wrists from Kelvin’s grasp and stood up. “I’ve tried! But you’ve stopped me!”

“No, you haven’t tried. And you know why? Because you are a spineless coward, Desmond. And you just love to be at my mercy. Gives you the chance to play your victim part.”

Desmond glared at Kelvin, his nails digging crescent-moon shaped cuts into his own palms. Kelvin just smiled, loving Desmond’s breakdowns. Just seeing him having one of his crisis, hair all disheveled and that crazy, tormented look on his face with his teary eyes, made his pants tighten over his crotch. Maybe that’s why he’d pushed him further and faster than he should. Because it made him so damn horny to see the Scotsman break down so beautifully.

“You’re lying,” Desmond said weakly. Because, Kelvin was lying, was he? He tried to locate in his memories for a time when he’d let the other man think he was enjoying what was being done to him. He couldn’t think of anything, but he could recall Kelvin taking his time to always make him cum in the end. But that could not be considered consent, could it? “It’s dangerous out there,” he tried again in a trembling voice. “You’ve said so many times...”

Kelvin sneered. “You’re so damn gullible, Desmond. You believe anything anyone tells you, don’t you? Like that guy who told you, you should be a monk, and off you went to become one,” he said with a cruel laugh. “Or your girl’s father. He tells you you’re not worthy of her daughter and, what do you do? You leave her, embark on a silly race around the world to prove him wrong that leaves you stranded here. Tell me, Des. If you don’t believe him, why did you need to prove him wrong so badly?”

Desmond glared at him. The man had a point, yet he couldn’t bring himself to linger on such thoughts. He knew now with excruciating clearness what a mistake it was to leave Penny.

“So, you’re saying it’s all a lie?” he said then, mulling over what Kelvin had just said. “The hostiles and the sickness? Is that what you’re saying?!” He snapped when Kelvin just stared at him.

“I’m saying, you should just take my word for it,” Kelvin replied arrogantly. He knew it would only take a few words strategically said here and there to bring Desmond back where he wanted him, doubting himself and his own memories. “That’s what you do, isn’t it? That’s why you’re pushing the button as well. That’s why you have settled here, all cozy and content with me in our domestic little abode from the seventies, instead of looking for a way off this island.”

It was going to be a year and a half he’d been in there and Kelvin’s words resonated loud and clear. Why hadn’t he tried to leave? Why did he just take on this mission that wasn’t even his in the first place? He wasn’t Kelvin’s replacement. Why had he stayed for so long?

“If you’re here, in this…prison, it’s your own fault, Des. So why don’t you just stop playing the victim and own up to your blame for once?”

“My own fault you say, yeah?” Desmond said, glaring at the other man. “Well, I’m going out there, then.”

“No, you’re not,” Kelvin said calmly and stood up just as calm to face the other man.

“What’s that?” Desmond said, giving Kelvin an incredulous look, enraged by the other’s calm tone. “You’re preventing me from going out after all you’ve just said?”

“You’re not going out there, Des. You are going to follow my orders like a good boy.”

Again, that tone.

“What’re you playing at?” Desmond said, struggling through a mixture of disbelief and anger. “You’re bloody insane.” Kelvin just stood there, eyeing him with that severe stare of his. “Well, however it is in your twisted mind, I’m going out there and you can’t stop me,” he said then, moved by a sudden burst of rebellion and hurried toward the door.

“No?” Kelvin said, following Desmond to the door.

“Stay away!” Desmond warned as he turned the wheel with some difficulty. Kelvin, however, ignored him. He charged toward Desmond and grabbed him from behind, pulling him away from the door. “No! Let me go!”

Kelvin pulled him toward the corridor and into a small room previously used for storage. It was empty now. Kelvin had cleared it in the days prior, just in case he needed to use it. He was right.

“Let go of me!” Desmond continued to struggle, but Kelvin had him in a chokehold and he was only able to claw at the man’s arm while he was dragged in there. He was then tackled to the floor on his front and Kelvin put his knee on the small of his back to keep him down while he grabbed both his wrists and secured them together with a cable tie.

“Get off, you bastard! Get off of me!”

“Suit yourself,” Kelvin said and before Desmond knew what was going on, Kelvin exited the small closet and closed the door behind him.

“No! Come back, you bastard! Open this door!” Desmond yelled, struggling to get on his side so he could try and sit up. “Open this door!” With his feet, he kicked the door over and over, until he was exhausted. “Let me out!” He cried one last time before he broke into sobs.

He didn’t know how long Kelvin had him there, but thanks to the beeping of the button counter, he was able to count three days until he gave up. Kelvin had left a water container, open at the top, for him to drink, letting Desmond know he’d planned to lock him in there beforehand. There was no food, though, and he was starving. He had to lap at the water like an animal for the binds were so tight behind his back, it had been impossible for Desmond to slide his hands over his bum and toward his front. He’d tried hard, though, and now his shoulders resented it. His wrists were bleeding, too.

More days passed and all Desmond knew was that he wanted out. Defying Kelvin wasn’t worth this. He needed out, even if out wasn’t exactly out. But at least it wasn’t in here, in this darkness. In this solitude.

“Please, Kelvin, I’ll follow your orders, just let me out!” Desmond tried once again, pleading against the door. Whatever fight that he’d had left in him was now gone and all that was left was the primal desire for freedom. And whoever gave him that would become his savior.

“How can I be sure you’ve learned your lesson?”

Kelvin’s voice, once the cause of Desmond’s misery made his heart beat with hope.

“Kelvin? Please, let me…” Desmond’s voice broke and he had to keep himself from crying. “I’ve learned. I won’t ask to go out again. I promise,” he sobbed against the door.

The door creaked open and Desmond had to squint his eyes shut to be able to look up at the man’s imposing figure.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I promise. I’ll follow your orders. Just, please…let me out.”

“We’ll see,” Kelvin said strictly, tossed three candy bars next to Desmond’s feet and closed the door once again.

“No, please, don’t go! Kelvin!” Desmond cried and threw himself at the, once again, closed door. “Please, come back!”

More days went by. Desmond couldn’t tell how many. It was always dark in there. And cold. Concrete all around him. His bound wrists, numb and bloody, begged to be free once again. It had been an odyssey eating one of the candy bars, but he’d managed, having to practically lick it off the floor once he managed to unwrap it with his practically useless hands. At least he wasn’t starving anymore and he’d managed to avoid the spots where he’d wetted himself in. He figured he’d have to ration the candy, for it seemed obvious the man intended on leaving him there for quite some time. Desmond knew how cruel he could be.

When he started to starve again, he couldn’t take it anymore so he started to scream the man’s name. Scream for help, for forgiveness, for anything that could get him out of there.

He didn’t even know if Kelvin was out there anymore. What if he’d run into some hostiles and gotten himself caught or killed? No one knew he was in there. He would die in there, alone and forgotten.

“Please! Somebody!”

Driven by the desperation those thoughts brought upon him and with the last bits of his strength, he managed to get on his feet and he started throwing himself bodily against the door, over and over, until his entire body was in pain.

“Let me out! Please, Kelvin!”

He passed out from exhaustion, next to the door. You’d think if Kelvin had heard him, he’d come to check on him. Yell at him to shut it, anything. He fell into silence once more. His back stiff, his arms numb and dizzy from hunger.

I’m gonna die here.

With that thought in mind, Desmond passed out.

Hours later, or days, he had no idea, he heard the lovely sound of footsteps getting closer.

“Kelvin,” he muttered weakly. Not strong enough to even sit up anymore.

“Oh,” Kelvin cooed as soon as he opened the door. “Look at you,” he laughed. “You’ve made a mess of yourself.”

At the chance of being finally free, Desmond found his voice once again. “I’ll be good. I’ll be good, I promise. Just let me out,” he sobbed. “Please, let me out.”

“As long as you’ve learned your lesson, Des...”

“I have. I don’t go out there. I follow your orders.”

“Good boy,” Kelvin crooned, reaching down to pet Desmond’s matted hair. “Come here.”

Kelvin cut Desmond’s bonds with a knife and helped him into a sitting position. “You’re okay, now Des. I’m here. I’ll look after you.”

Desmond, desperate for whatever form of comfort he could get, let himself be held. His own hands, slowly regaining their mobility, found Kelvin’s clothes and grabbed onto them, scared to be left there on his own again.

Kelvin shushed him gently once he started crying. He’d missed to be held. He’d missed to be cared for. He’d missed to be with someone other than himself.

“I won’t go out. I Promise,” Desmond repeated mindlessly.

“Yes, Dessy. I know you won’t,” Kelvin said in a soothing tone, still holding Desmond against his chest and caressing his hair. The man reeked and looked an utter mess, yet Kelvin couldn’t help but see the beauty in his broken form. He was so ready to have his way with him once more. “How about we get you out of here and into the shower, hmm?”

Desmond nodded jerkily, wrapping heavy arms around Kelvin for support, both physical and emotional.

“Alright, come.”

Kelvin had to help him into the shower and turn on the water for him. He jumped in after and helped Desmond wash his hair and back and sore shoulders. Desmond let himself be doted on. Kelvin even had to help him dry off and get dressed into clean clothes.

“Now, that’s better, isn’t it?”

After feeding him a light meal to help his stomach get used to eating again, Kelvin led Desmond toward the bed, letting him settle into his own bottom bunk bed. He then climbed behind him.

“It’s okay, Des,” Kelvin soothed, circling his arms around Desmond. “You’re okay now.”

Desmond sighed in content, grateful to be out of that hell hole and in an actual bed to rest his exhausted body and mind.

“Almost forgot,” Kelvin said from behind and pulling something from the bedhead area, he put it in front of Desmond for him to see. It was a greyish stuffed animal. A rabbit.

“What’s this?” He asked, his voice still hoarse.

“It’s for you. I found it out in the jungle.”

“You got me a stuffed animal?”

“Yes,” Kelvin said simply, placing the rabbit in front of him on the bed and wrapping his arm around his waist again.

Desmond grabbed the rabbit and studied it in silence, not knowing how to feel about this gift.

“Don’t worry," muttered the man behind him. "I washed it.”

Silent tears started falling from Desmond’s eyes and taking the rabbit with him, he turned around and clung to Kelvin, burying his face against the man’s chest.

Kelvin smiled in utter satisfaction and he brought his hand up to caress Desmond’s hair soothingly. “Sleep, Des. I’ve got you. I’m not going to hurt you. You know I would never hurt you. All I’ve ever wanted is to keep you safe.” He then pulled back a bit and tilted Desmond’s chin up to press his mouth against his. He kissed the warm mouth gently while tracing soothing patterns on the other man’s back. When he broke the kiss, he kissed both of Desmond’s damp cheeks. “I’ve got you, Dessy. You’re okay now.”

When he woke up, Kelvin was on top of him, pulling down his underwear. Desmond closed his eyes; his body sliding up the bed as the older man entered him. He wanted to cry, wanted to tell Kelvin to stop. But he couldn’t. A part of him needed this. It needed the comfort. He needed Kelvin’s care. Besides, if he fought him, he might end up in the hole again. And he was going to do anything to avoid ever going back there.

“I know you’re enjoying it, Desmond. So, stop biting your damn lips and let me hear how much you like what I’m doing to you.”

Like a dam cracking, Desmond let out a loud moan when Kelvin’s next thrusts hit his prostate dead on, uttering then man’s name with abandon, moaning and arching his back in pleasure.

“Desmond?”

“What?”

“Is that a proper way to say hi to me?” Kelvin said when he found Desmond doing the dishes that had accumulated in the sink throughout the day. “I’ve been gone for five hours.”

“Sorry,” Desmond said, dried his hands and walked up to Kelvin to kiss his cheek. “Hello.”

“Hello yourself,” Kelvin said, gently grabbing Desmond’s chin and smiling at him. “Happy anniversary,” he said and leaned closer to kiss him.

Desmond looked up at Kelvin in awe. “Huh?”

“It’s been three years since the ocean washed you here to my shore. Three lovely years. So why don’t you make us dinner while I work on my painting? We’ll open a bottle of wine to go with it. To celebrate.”

“Sure,” Desmond nodded, feeling numb inside.

Three years. Had it really been that long?

Kelvin kissed him again. Desmond closed his eyes and parted his lips, allowing him entrance. In his manipulated mind, Desmond hadn’t realized how he’d let Kelvin take over his entire existence. It had just happened. When the man was out, his day consisted of waiting till he came back. The man had become his entire world. He even realized he’d stopped staring at Penny’s picture. In fact, he didn’t know where it had ended up.

A couple more months rolled by quickly. Desmond woke up, his stuffed rabbit up by the headboard. He had become weirdly attached to the stupid thing. It reminded him of Kelvin when the man wasn’t around.

The alarm went off, so he got up quickly to type the code into the computer and put on some music to go about his daily routine. Until Kelvin came back. The hot water massaged his muscles, sore from his work out and the previous night activities. He then went out of the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his waist and to the bedroom to get dressed.

While he was looking for clothes that needed to be washed, Desmond opened Kelvin’s side of their drawer and, sticking out from underneath a stack of Kelvin’s underwear, he found his and Penny’s picture. An unexpected wave of anger hit him as he studied it.

Kelvin had hidden his picture? Why?

“Good morning,” Kelvin greeted from the corridor, startling Desmond and he quickly hid the picture under the top bunk pillow. He grabbed the bundle of laundry and turned to face the other man. He’d been out for a couple of hours and was just arriving.

“Good morning,” Desmond said, kissing Kelvin as he walked by him.

“It’s your shot day,” Kelvin pointed out as he began to take off his gear. “Did you get it?”

“I was just about to…after laundry,” Desmond said, put the clothes inside the washing machine and got it going, before going to get his shot.

Kelvin chuckled, following him with his eyes. “Such a good housewife.”

Desmond ignored him and started to prepare his vaccine. Just as he gave himself the shot, a loud bang could be heard coming from the top of the station and the ground under their feet started to shake, causing the record player to stop mid song.

Desmond looked to Kelvin, alarmed. “What was that?”

“Hostiles,” Kelvin said somberly and made his way to the armory.