Work Text:
One hot summer on a sunny summers morning in the daytime the sun was shining sunlight into the daylight of the day, it was summertime. George paved his way through the piles of sunlight that were blocking the helicopter landing pad like the sun might do on a sunny summertime day that was hot. (*the pad was an extra absorbent overnight from libra if you were wondering).
Geroge knew that Clayton was on his winter cycle and so he departed from the homeless shelter at 5:79 sharp so that he would arrive at the local markets with a leisure period of an hour, twenty 4 seconds and 60eight minutes. At least that’s what the talking refrigerator hanging from a maple tree told him. His favourite activity to enhance his senses with while he had time to spare was underwater emu wrestling, pity he’d spent his last time on elmo socks.
Although on a day like this he didn’t quite mind it, his head was filled to the brim with the thoughts of how happy Clayton might be when he surprised him with a gift; he really did enjoy being charitable and earning the love of his partner with the time he spend on his own request to please him (cocaine, his head was filled with cocaine). The flowers in the garden around the angelic fountain were beaming in the rising sun, reflections glistening in its waters, shame Claytlin wasn’t here with him otherwise he probably could have replaced the entire pool’s water with piss by now.
Just strolling along the pavement in the warmth of a summer’s breeze, it really was a rare moment in such a busy city, the simplicity to his actions and to the actions of all that was around him, teenagers carving hearts into an old oak giant, a grandma reading her novel on a red checkered picnic blanket, a mother with her two beautiful children, he almost got them into his car and would have fucked them both if their darn bitch from whose vagina they came hadn’t stopped him. There was a young boy playing fetch with his fluffy white canine friend, looked like the only friend because he was sitting alone and distanced from the rest of the groups, it reminded him of himself somewhat. He wanted to fuck that dog but he’ll just have to settle for the stick it was playing with.
He also stole some kid’s kite but I didn’t write it in because I already drew out the walk in the park too much, so Gerome is currently using his saggy dick as a propellor and the kite as a parachute so go ahead and visualise that, yes very good.
The markets, he always loved those as a child, when he went to the markets he went with his gorgeous mother and it meant that he got raped in an alleyway by this old man who payed his mother money when they came, it was very special to him as you can tell. Let’s see… bread, meats, botanicals, pottery, spices, random shit I don’t want to own anymore, dairy, oh wait go back! There it is, the shit I don’t want to own anymore stall. (Jeremy is thinking in italics, mind blowing)
“Hello sir, could I please have one beef jerky please?”
Said the man with hair the colour of a muddy puddle that Peppa herself might find fit for jumping up and down in.
“Ten bucks and fuck off!”
Explained the CEO of shit I don’t want to own anymore ©
Jamie thanked the entrepreneur for his hard work to serve the country of Mexico and was joyously on his way. Aforesaid entrepreneur called him dipshit. (Dipshit is a traditional American slang for ‘good bro’ most commonly used among acquaintances. Fact check it please.)
Mr Oliver returned to his home dwelling, the homeless shelter, claimed the land as his own, hired some dude to murder all the homeless people and hired some guy to build him a mansion because the tutorials all had too much done off screen and bob the builder didn’t work for experience. He went to his newly furnished kitchen to cook the beef jerky for Caitlyn and accidentally set everything on fire because he didn’t understand the game mechanics so he tried it in VR but that just made it worse so he did a pro gamer move…
After leaving and rejoining, he prepared the beef jerky in the microwave. He took the beef jerky over to Mrs Jenner, Claytlin was as hard as a rock, mainly because he was a rock. Clay was on his winter cycle and that mean that he was now merely a large pebble the size of Jamie’s hand.
“What is that, Jessica?” Asked Dwayne (the large pebble).
“It is the dildo I bought for you my dearest stoned captive.” Replied Jessica.
“That is beef jerky, I watched you cook it.” Derek pondered, bewildered at how magnificently cooked the beef jerky was.
“My sincerest apologies, Dream. I am colourblind.” Gemma gave a valid excuse.
Georgia lathered his tiny floppy member in beef jerky and began to fuck Drake, the stone, he did not consent to this. The reusable republic of rocks was informed of the misuse and Sergeant Boulder will be pressing charges.
Some dude x Some guy 4 lyfeeeee OTP!
(The two men hired to murder people and build the mansion, if you know you know.)