Archive of Our Own ^beta

Mirko tapped his foot impatiently, looking around the backstage for all the heroes that were still missing. Including him, there were only six out of the top ten present — Endeavor already ready to go on stage, perfectly put together and grumpy as she always was; Wash being her usual… dishwasher self; Edgeshot chatting with Ryukyu like a pair of gossiping hens, and Kamui Woods calmy photosynthesizing nearby or whatever it is that forest dryads do (because that was what she was, right? Mirko never checked.)

Hawks being late was normal. Best Jeanist or Gang Orca being late was not. And the new person to slot into the ranking after Crust’s retirement wasn’t here either.

Mirko scrunched his nose. Bunch of slowpokes. He wanted to get this event over with and go back to kicking Villain ass as soon as possible. At least they were waiting backstage this time and not in the audience.

“Gentlemen, I know the way, no need to escort me.”

Mirko perked up at the familiar voice. The scent of coffee beans reached him just as Hawks appeared, flanked on both sides by Commission agents. Mirko pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against, ears standing up to attract attention and sure enough, Hawks’ eyes flitted to him right away. A beat of silence, a moment of silent communication as they both beamed at each other, and then they were rushing to meet in the middle of the room.

They collided into a bear hug.

“Rumster!”

“Chickadee!”

Mirko lifted Hawks up and whirled her around, both of them laughing. Out of all the heroes in the top ten, Hawks was for sure his favourite. She was always fun to be around and they’d gotten closer over the past few months — really, it felt as if they’d known each other for years. Something had just clicked between them the first time they met. Mirko wouldn’t even mind an occasional team-up and he normally hated working with other people — he didn’t even have any sidekicks or interns, unlike most of the top heroes.

“How have you been, tiger?” Hawks smiled when Mirko finally put her down. “I swear I saw no one but you in the media lately. And that drug bust from last weekend! I bet you went up in the rankings a spot or two.”

“Worried about your spot?” Mirko grinned at Hawks in kind. “Last time I checked I was nipping at your heels in the approval ratings — people just can’t get enough of those GUNS!”

Striking a pose, Mirko flexed his arms. With his hero costume as… minimal as it was, the view of his muscles was unobstructed. As it should be — really, he was doing the general public a favour every time he went outside like this.

“Oh yes, I’m quivering in my boots.” Hawks fake-swooned, pressing a gloved hand to her forehead. “Endeavor-san, help! I’m being threatened!”

Looking over, Mirko saw the initial jolt that went through Endeavor at Hawks’ cry for help but when she looked over and just saw the two of them fooling around, she scowled. Hawks giggled and waved a hand at her.

“Do not involve me in your squabbles,” Endeavor scoffed, looking away.

“Aww, no fun, Number One!”

Hawks actually pouted. Forcing down laughter, Mirko threw an arm around Hawks’ shoulders and brought her closer to whisper in her ear.

“Simp.”

Instantly, Hawks shoved him away, smacking him half-heartedly with one of her wings. “Shut it, cottontail!”

Mirko burst out laughing, almost choking as a stray red feather landed in his mouth. He smacked his own chest, trying to spit it out, when another person approached them. A scent of fresh laundry already told Mirko who it was.

“Jeanist!” Hawks trilled, patting Mirko on the back. Mirko waved her hands away — she was not helping. “My, my, why so late, my dear?”

“There was an emergency nearby,” Hakamada replied easily, eyeing Mirko with a calculating gaze — probably gauging if she needed to interfere. “Gang Orca and I took care of it. She should be joining us shortly, too. Her shoulder needed to be seen to.”

With one last cough, Mirko finally expelled the little fucker — and it landed straight on Hakamada’ breast pocket. Hawks clammed up, wings tensing up as she clearly struggled not to laugh, while Mirko smiled sheepishly.

“...And in the meantime, I see you stooped low enough to try and take down your competitors with biohazard weapons,” Hakamada said, calmly flicking the spit-soaked feather off her jacket.

Hawks squawked in protest, wings puffing up, and Mirko chortled. Damn. Jeanist wasn’t that bad, either. He was opening his mouth to say so aloud when his nose picked a new smell. He sniffed the air, ears twitching. It was pleasant — mellow, sweet and warm, like a french pastry straight outta the oven.

Intrigued, Mirko looked around for the source of the smell.

…and what he saw was one of the tallest women he had ever seen in his life. She must have just been led backstage by the staff, glancing around curiously. She looked like she could break him in half with one arm. Also, her boobs? Huge. Bigger even than Endeavor’s.

A quiet woah escaped Mirko almost involuntarily. He nudged Hawks with his hip. “Yo, who’s that ?”

Both Hawks and Best Jeanist followed his gaze. 

“Oh, that’s Fat Gum!” Hawks said. “I remember she was in the low 50s the last time charts were updated. Clearly she has gotten a lot more popular if she’s here now.”

“She was one of the heroes involved in the Shie Hassaikai Raid,” Hakamada added. “I heard her agency’s contribution was vital to the success of the operation. She has been steadily climbing up in the rankings since then.”

“Huh.” Mirko tilted his head. There was actually something familiar about her. Maybe they’d met before? Perhaps he could go over, introduce himself—

“We are going live in two minutes! Get ready to get on stage as your name gets called out!”

Oh, well, another time.

What came next was a whirlwind of activity, staff running around, presenters’ voices booming over the speakers, and the audience in the main hall getting excited at seeing all their favourite heroes live. Mirko couldn’t help but puff out his chest. If his teenage self could see himself now, he would be freaking ecstatic.

“Number Ten! Everybody give a warm welcome to the new addition to the Top Ten! It’s the BMI Hero: Fat Gum!”

One by one, they were called to the stage. Gang Orca followed after Fat Gum, her arm in a cast and her white suit jacket slung over her shoulders. Then, surprisingly, at Number Eight, none other than Wash.

“Oh-ho, Ryukyu moved up in the rankings,” Hawks whispered into his ear, where they were both huddled near the exit to the stage. “I think you’ll have to fight him for the right to be the token man in the top five.”

Mirko snorts, grinning. “How about I fight you for the right to be the token animal-quirk in the top three instead?”

“Bring it on, Bun-bun.”

Next, the presenter called out Kamui Woods, afterwards — Edgeshot, and finally, at Number Five, Ryukyu.

“Woah, he really leaped up, huh?” Mirko murmured as Ryukyu walked past him, looking slightly shocked. He was always so humble — being so high must be freaking him out so much right now.

“Oh my god!” Hawks tugged at his arm. “Is that what you’re focusing on? You haven’t been called up yet either, dummy.”

Oh. Mirko blinked. Oh fuck. Hawks was right.

“And going down one position but still going strong! The Fiber Hero: Best Jeanist!”

As Hakamada calmly made her way to the stage, Mirko looked at Hawks with mild panic and a growing, buzzing excitement in his chest. Holy shit, holy shit, did he really make it to Number Three? Fuck, what was he supposed to do with that? 

Meanwhile, Hawks was having the time of her life. “Oh, I love this. I’m not letting Jeanist live this down—”

“Back in her old spot and the current leader in the approval ratings! Wing Hero: Hawks!”

No fucking way.

Mirko felt his jaw drop. Hawks’ face went carefully blank before her mouth twisted into an almost manic smile, her jaw tense as she gave Mirko one last look, wide-eyed and hysterical, as if she was on the verge of either screaming or laughing.

Number Two. He was the new Number Two. Right? Right?

Mirko turned to find Endeavor already looking at him, her face almost as shocked as Mirko himself felt. With bated breath, they both waited for the final two announcements.

“And the biggest twist of the evening! Who would have predicted this! Your new Number Two! Dethroned after only half a year! Flame Hero: Endeavor.”

Mirko inhaled sharply. Adrenaline flooded his system and he bounced on his feet, suddenly filled with too much energy. Endeavor glanced at him briefly, stiffly nodding her head at him, before she, too, made her way to the stage.

Which left Mirko alone backstage. He jumped from one foot to another, pressing his fist to his mouth to muffle an excited scream. He barely heard his name being called over all the blood rushing to his head.

“—Rabbit Hero: Mirko!”

With a deep breath, Mirko walked onto the stage. Or more like, rushed — and his way of rushing was to spring into the air, do a double backflip and land on his feet to the deafening applause of the audience.

He straightened up, striking a pose and flexing. People loved it, screaming even louder if it was possible. When the noise finally calmed down, the President of the HPSC appeared to give a short speech, which Mirko mostly tuned out, still low-key freaking out. He did catch Hawks’ eyes as they were standing in the line-up of heroes and wiggled his eyebrows at her. Like she said, he was not letting her live this down, ha!

Hawks rolled her eyes but she was smiling. Which shouldn’t be surprising — that bird thrived in chaos, and Mirko already heard her whispering a few teasing taunts to Endeavor.

“Now, let’s hear a few words from each of our top heroes!”

Oh right. Saying stuff. Damn, Mirko wasn’t good at that. What Endeavor said when she became Number One? It was something, like, “just you watch me”, right? So anything that wasn’t copying that should be fine.

 “—So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your trust,” the new chick — Fat Gum, was it? — was saying, bowing at the waist. He should ask Hawks her real name. “And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to say hi to my interns! Tamaki! Kirishima! Work hard and someday you will get up here, too!”

Interns, bleh. Mirko would never accept any interns — unless maybe, if they had the same awesome rabbit quirk as him. Bunnies were just better, okay? The world should be filled with cool bunny people like him.

One by one, everybody got their turn to speak. Best Jeanist was gracious as always, Hawks was her usual little shit self and Endeavor barely grunted out a few words. When the microphone finally landed in Mirko’s hands, he snatched it up. 

All the headlights pointed at him.

“Holy shit, my dudes. No, you ain’t dreaming, I am the new Number One!”

He was sure he would get reprimanded for swearing on live TV later on but who cared? He was the motherfucking Number One hero and people were eating it up, cheering for him from the seats.

“I always knew I would end up here but didn’t think it would be so soon,” Mirko continued, sending a cheeky salute to his fellow heroes. “Try and keep up, guys!”

Hawks jokingly booed, somebody scoffed, somebody cheered, and from the end of the line-up, Fat Gum smiled at him. With a grin, Mirko winked and turned back to the audience.

“I promise no villain butt will be left unkicked with me in the lead! I will punt all the bad guys over the Pacific Ocean and watch them swim back ashore just to throw them behind bars! So come at me, I will take you all on! Wooo!”

He laughed and waved, soaking in all the attention and the loud applause. When the presenter came to take the mic from him, Mirko remembered one thing he planned on saying before the announcements threw him for a loop.

“Oh, and eat vegetables, kids! That’s all I eat and look at those MUSCLES!”

And one last time tonight, Mirko flexed.