Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He was tired.

Exhausted was more like it, and he had been for longer than most would think, considering how young he preferred to look when interacting with the world. Despite how he’d mostly been sleeping for the past however many years, that exhaustion never went away. It clung to his very bones, long after he’d cried his tears and screamed his grief. 

He didn’t know how long he slept, how long he didn’t eat, didn’t move- He didn’t even know how long it had been since he’d checked chat or listened to the Players. He didn’t even know if there still were Players. 

He just slept. 

And when he couldn’t sleep, when he was too broken to let his mind wander to the blissful ignorance and silence that came with rest, he’d lay in his bed and stare at the stars and think about if any of it was worth it in the end.

Was any of it worth it? Were any of the happiness and laughs and words and affection even worth it if this was all he’d have left when they were gone?

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

But then the depression and grief would set right back in and he’d close his eyes and cry, and only after he cried himself out again would he go back to sleep. He wouldn’t even dream. He knew it wasn’t a good thing, knew that meant he was likely Logging Out just like They had, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Why should he care? There was nothing, no one, left for him. 

So he let himself Log Out. It would just be darkness for so long, like his own personal Limbo, and there would be no light, no gravity, nothing to touch or see or smell or feel... But he could hear. 

Prime and XD, he could hear.

He could hear all of them, the Players, all of them whispering and asking and begging and crying and they were so loud. But it was fine. He was used to them being loud, and he was used to them asking and begging and crying. So he could ignore it.

He did ignore it, and then he slept, and he’d lay there, looking at the stars until he couldn’t anymore, and that cycle went on for so long that he didn’t know how much time passed before he woke up one day and just felt detached. He felt cold but his mind was still foggy, and he couldn’t keep laying there for much longer. He felt that, if he did, he wouldn’t get up again. He’d let the overgrowth take him completely and he might just Log Out for good.

He had to get up, before he never did again.

So he did.

His body ached against all the odds, and his hair had grown far too long - it looked more like Prime’s than it used to, and just the thought of that ached - and his wings felt awful after not being preened in so long, and his flowers had almost completely overtaken him at this point. He knew, without even seeing, what flowers had grown, so he didn’t bother paying them much attention as he ripped them out and let them fall to the ground, mixing with the golden ichor that dripped from the wounds he created by uprooting them.

Mums, forget-me-nots, purple hyacinths and two yellow roses. There were more, of course, but those were the main ones that he pulled out when he got up. Their roots and leaves and vines covered both him - all over his face, for the most part, but also his arms and his legs and they curled around his torso like a hug that he desperately wanted but would never get again - and the building around him. In the unlit Nether portal, over the counters and through the floorboards, even in the water that sat in separate places all around the building.

They were everywhere and held onto him so tightly it was like they never wanted to let go, never wanted him to get up and leave them like he’d been left.

And, yet, he got up.

And when he did, a single daffodil grew in his heart.

-

It’d been a while since he’d been here, out in the city and around so many mortals. It was strange, to see how much had changed since he’d disappeared. How much time had passed since then? A lot, if the changes were anything to go by. 

He did his best to ignore the implications of that, that the Players had been left alone just as he had even though they had done nothing wrong - he tried to ignore how that reminded him of those that likely got stuck in the Nether and the End when the portals had collapsed and then refused to be relit, how they had asked him for help and he had ignored them in favour of his own selfish grieving -  just as he ignored their voices. If he ignored it, it didn’t matter. He’d had plenty of practice over the millennia so it was easy!

Well, it wasn’t, but he’d keep pretending it was as he wandered down the sidewalk. 

No one gave him another glance, even with his missing shoes and dirty look (he blamed the flowers for that one). He figured this was a worse part of town (though what town, he couldn’t tell you), but that was okay. He wasn’t scared of getting hurt. He just… he wanted to look around. 

So he did. 

He looked around at the huge buildings, however old and ruined some of them looked, and he looked around at the lights that were powered by electricity instead of Redstone, and he looked around and around at everything his Players had made until he ended up at what he thought might have been a park.

There was some trash on the ground, and the grass was overgrown with weeds, and it was quiet as no one else seemed to be visiting it besides him, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.

He didn’t think he wanted to talk to a Player anyway. He wasn’t interested in Playing the Game yet.

So he simply sat down on the bench in front of the pond and stared out at the water. If he ignored the changes around him, if he ignored just how different everything was, he could almost pretend he was still with Them, that They were still around, and that he wasn’t completely alone in this world and the others. 

His eyes, once as grey as the cloudy sky that mimicked them, stared out into the pond as some ducks swam around, one leading her chicks as they went and it caused a tiny smile to appear on his face. And as the sky reflected his eyes, or maybe because his eyes were the sky, it cleared for the first time in ages and now was a soft blue. Clouds were still there, he still wasn’t feeling the best, but now the sun shone through unhindered.

Everyone in the world stopped to stare at it. Well, almost everyone.

He didn’t even notice when someone sat next to him, too busy looking out into the pond and zoning out. It wasn’t like looking at the stars, in that he did not remember every single detail about it and its creation, but it was nice . It was calming, in a way, to feel the wind gently brushing against him, welcoming him back, and the way the grass curled a little closer and the dandelions were a bit more vibrant, turning towards him like he was the sun and they were sunflowers.

He was so distracted by this calm that, when he happened to look away for only a moment and glance to the side, he jumped in surprise. “Fuck-!” He put a hand to his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat as he stared at the- hybrid? That had startled him. “Fuck, you can’t do that to me, Big Man,” he croaked out, turning away to go back to what he was doing before doing a double take. 

Oh, shit. 

He’d just spoken to a Player.

He hadn’t thought of doing that when he came down. He simply came down to have a change in scenery. That was it. He hadn’t planned to talk to any humans or hybrids or Players in general, but rather just to see the sights and then leave after he got it out of his system for a little while longer. Because he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to answer the whispers and pleas in his mind by showing up and giving proof that he was alive, not when he wasn’t even sure he still was. 

He wasn’t ready to be Him and all the responsibilities that came with that title.

He didn’t want to Play the Game yet.

But, apparently, the Universe didn’t care what he was ready for - which he thought was ridiculous, because he was the Universe and the Universe was a part of him and it should listen to what he said (but he was used to it not quite listening to him anymore, wasn’t he?) - as the hybrid hadn’t disappeared when he looked away then back, nor had they seemed offended by his cursing. Rather, they seemed amused as they just laughed and their ear flicked. “I’ve never seen you around before, Bossman,” they - I should ask for their pronouns, he thought idly - commented when they calmed down from their giggling.

He grumbled, squinting at them, and mentally noted that their Nametag said ‘Tubbo_’. 

“Yeah, well, I just- I was just visiting. Saw the pond an’ shit an’ thought I could take a break. I didn’t think anyone else would be here.”

The hybrid - Tubbo_? - nodded their head in understanding. “It’s a nice pond.” They looked back at it (or he thought they did, he couldn’t actually see their eyes, as they were covered with their blond bangs) as if to confirm that thought, then nodded again. “My roommate doesn’t like it, though. He’s hydrophobic, y’know? But I forgive him for it because he can cook. Sometimes.”

He nodded wisely in response, “that’s fair, that’s fair. So why come here if, uh, your roommate doesn’t like it?”

“Oh!” Their ears perked up again and this time he idly noted that they seemed like goat ears. “This is my bench!”

He looked down at the bench, blinked, then looked back. “Your bench?”

“Sure is, Bossman. I come here all the time and feed the ducks.” They pointed at the lake. Or, more specifically, they pointed at the ducks swimming around. “See the big one?” He looked and did, in fact, see the big one, “that’s Benson. He’s my duck! Ranboo won’t let me bring him home, something about the apartment ‘not allowing pets’ and us ‘not having the money to take care of a duck, Tubbo, please put it back-’ but I think that’s just excuses because they’re a coward. So I come here to feed him!”

He nodded to show he was listening, though the conversation felt kind of distant. He didn’t know why he was still talking to this hybrid, he should just apologize to them and then leave… but- something in him didn’t like that. This teen, this hybrid, it was the most interaction he’d gotten in who knows how long. They weren’t a voice in his head, asking him for things and blessings and- and this was a genuine conversation with a Player who didn’t know any better.

So he asked- “What’s your name?” 

He didn’t even know why he was asking. He could see it, could read their Nametag and know that they were Tubbo_ and they were very clearly a Player, a M-

“You can call me Tubbo! Oh- and, uh, he slash him pronouns,” They - he , fucking finally - beamed at him after answering and that thought was gone. Then, “What’s yours? Like I said- I’ve never seen you around here. I usually know everyone, especially the homeless kids, but, like, you’re completely new.”

He blinked, jolted, and then finally sputtered out, “I-I’m not homeless-!”

“You’re not wearing shoes, Bossman.” Tubbo - not Tubbo_ - commented dryly. “You don’t even have socks on!”

“That- That doesn’t mean I’m homeless though! I have a home!”

What did not having shoes have to do with anything? He never wore shoes! He’d never needed to really wear shoes, not unless it was for fun! It’s not like he could get hurt if he didn’t wear shoes, not like Players could.

Tubbo hummed, obviously unconvinced but making a huge deal about it, “sure, sure. What’s your name? And pronouns too, I guess. I’ve been trying to get better at asking that, y’know? My roommate goes by he and they sometimes so, y’know.” He shrugged.

The god winced and hummed nervously. What was his name? He had one, he knew he did, but he couldn’t give it to Tubbo. Who knows how he’d react, if he even believed him, if he’d even stick around to find out the truth. Not God, that’s for sure. “.. he slash him, I guess” he started slowly, deciding his pronouns would be the easiest to get out of the way, “but I don’t really care? People use-” he chuckled weakly, “people can use any for me I guess.” And then he furrowed his eyebrows. He hesitated, not wanting to give away who he truly was - he didn’t have the stability and life he did before to go back to that kind of position - before he finally said, “...I don’t have a name.”

Tubbo blinked, clearly taken aback by his obvious lie. “You… don’t have a name.”

He nodded firmly, “I don’t have a name.”

He could see Tubbo thinking about his answer and wondered if he’d call him out for lying, because it was so clear that he was lying, that he wasn’t telling the truth, or if he’d think it wasn’t worth talking to a liar, or if he-

“You need a name, dude. Fucking Hell, why do you not have one?” He scoffed, as if offended by the mere idea that he didn’t have a name. “Oh, oh! What if I gave you one!?” Tubbo suddenly gasped, perking up like it was the best idea in the world.

“Uh. Well. I mean-...” He trailed off, staring at Tubbo. He could practically feel the puppy dog eyes, even if they were hidden behind his hair, and he only held out for a few seconds before sighing. “...Okay. Sure, yeah, gimme a name, Big Man.”

It’s not like it could hurt him. Maybe, if he liked it, then he could use it whenever he went around as a human. After all, he used to go by a handful of different nicknames when he wanted to Play.

Theseus was his most common name, though he’d rather never use that name again if he could avoid it. Too many painful memories were attached to it now.

Tubbo beamed, unaware of the god’s thoughts. “Right! Yes! Lemme just- hm.” He went quiet, staring him down and very obviously observing him, even if he couldn’t see the goat-hybrid’s eyes, before he finally seemed to settle on one. “You look- you look like a… a Tommy.”

That… wasn’t what he had been expecting.

Yet, at the same time, the name felt like it fit. More than Theseus or any of his other names ever had.

“A Tommy?”

Tubbo nodded seriously, “Tommy! Or, like, Tom for short maybe? Either way, I don’t care! I’m naming you Tommy, cause you look like one. You have no choice.”

He- Tommy could only stare at the Player that had just given him a name before laughing. “I-” He paused, swallowing, then smiled, “ha- I- Okay. Yeah, okay! My name is Tommy, then! Fuck yeah!” He cheered, laughing with Tubbo as he accepted the name.

It made him feel warm, and more daffodils grew in his heart. It didn’t feel suffocating, not like when mums or foxgloves grew there. It simply felt warm.

Tommy, he thought, his name was Tommy.

That day, the sky had been clear for the first time in eons and Tommy’s eyes were a bright, clear blue for the first time since he’d gone to sleep.

-

Tommy hadn’t meant to come back.

After Tubbo left, having gotten a message from his roommate - Ranboo? - he’d gone back to the Pub(e) and actually had the motivation to clean up, at least a little bit. He’d gotten rid of most of the overgrowth from his flowers, breaking them away from the walls and cutting the vines and leaves so they were a more manageable length, even fixing up where they'd broken the walls and flooring. It was when he was doing this that he’d ended up standing in front of the unlit Nether portal.

It was right there. They’d always had one on the island, it was where Prime had created the very first portal to Her world, and it was so tempting to light it, to go in and see what had changed there, too. But… He couldn’t bring himself to.

After a moment of hesitation, he just turned away and went back to cleaning.

He didn’t really last long after that, his mood plummeting at the thought of leaving Prime’s creations to rot like he had his own, and so he’d cleaned up a little more, and then he sort of… Laid back and thought about what happened. He thought for a good long while, about the goat-hybrid and his new name, before eventually the sun was setting and he closed his eyes.

He’d fallen asleep that night and for the first time in a long while he had dreamed. 

He dreamed of blond hair, and laughter, and when he woke up there was a lily of the valley growing behind his ear.

The sky was still clear when he got up and he still felt that energy from the day before. The one that told him that he better get up and get going, or he might just never do it. So he listened.

He didn’t even know how he found himself back at the bench. He’d just gone back to the city and wandered. He wasn’t paying attention, like yesterday, but this time it was less out of his depressive daze and more because he kept thinking about Tubbo.

Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, the little hybrid that had given him a new name. 

He’d gotten many gifts and sacrifices over the years but he’d never been given something so precious as a name by a Player before. It felt personal. It was personal. Because he’d had names before, but only Prime and XD had ever given him one. Sunshine, She would call him. Beloved, They would say. Those were names he went by but only they had ever used for him. 

So to be given a new name, so long after they had Logged Out…

It made yellow roses want to bloom in his hair, it made zinnias want to grow in his throat, it made forget-me-nots want to burst from his wrists. He managed to hold them back, just barely, because he didn’t want to be found right now, he didn’t want to be Known like before, that wasn’t the kind of Game he wanted to Play, but it didn’t stop them from blooming on the ground around him as he walked. He just hoped they weren’t too obvious because he just… he wanted to be Tommy.  

He wanted to be Tommy. At least for a little while, just until he got bored.

Because he would get bored eventually. The Game was no fun when you had no one else to Play it with. It’s why he had made the Admins to begin with, why they had made the Players and Mods together later on.

And that thought was solidified when he went back to that bench, sat down, and just… enjoyed it. 

Who cares if now it felt a little lonely? If now he felt he was missing something by being there by himself? And if the sky got a little cloudy again- well, there was no reason for that besides the natural weather cycle. Surely.

And who cares if when Tommy spotted the hybrid coming right towards him - he didn’t miss him this time, and no it was definitely not because he had been actively looking for him, waiting for him to come like he’d said he often did, shut up! - that the clouds slowly disappeared to create a clear sky like the day before.

Tommy beamed - feeling more like Tommy than he had before, now that someone perceived him as such, now that there was someone who had never Seen him as anything More -  and waved, “Tubbo! Big Man! Fancy seeing you here!”

Tubbo looked amused to see him there again, but he didn’t seem upset. Tommy didn’t know why that made something - anxiety and the roots of the hellebores he hadn’t even noticed growing - loosen in his gut. “Hello, Tommy,” he greeted back as he took a seat, “what do you mean ‘fancy seeing you here’? I told you yesterday this was my bench!” Despite his words, he was grinning.

Tommy squinted at him and huffed, “What if I just forgot, huh? What then? It’s my bench now, anyway. Bitch.” He added the insult at the end as an afterthought, so used to doing it with his sister and sibling. He crossed his arms and looked away, but even that couldn’t hide his grin.

It did hide, at least from Tommy’s point of view, how Tubbo was looking him over. He was still in the same clothes from yesterday, and he still didn’t have shoes or socks, and Tubbo’s smile fell a bit when he noticed this. 

“..Did you sleep here, Tommy?”

The suddenness of the question made Tommy’s grin falter a bit as he turned back, brows furrowed in confusion, “what?”

“Did you sleep on the bench?” He repeated.

“No?? I told you before, I’m not homeless! I have a house! That I went to! Last night!” Even as he said this he could see that Tubbo didn’t believe a word he said. He groaned and rolled his eyes, “I’m serious! I have a house, you don’t need to, like, pity me or whatever.”

“It’s not pity??”

“It is, it is, you’re looking at me like, like I’m a child and I’m not! I am a Big Man, simply the biggest, actually, and I’m not homeless or whatever. I didn’t sleep on the bench!”

Tubbo hummed, obviously suspicious of him, but he didn’t push it anymore despite clearly not believing him. “Fine. But it wouldn’t be pity, it’d be worry. There’s a difference,” he said, as if obvious. “I have questionable morals but even I wouldn’t just leave a child-” He ignored Tommy’s objection, the bastard, “-out on the streets!”

Tommy scowled at him and scoffed. “First of all, I am not a child,” he held up one finger and shoved it in Tubbo’s face, “and second,” he put a second finger up, shoving it even further into Tubbo’s face and no, he was definitely not laughing at the way Tubbo cursed and leaned back, pushing at his hand and laughing, “I’m not on the streets! I have a house-!”

This argument went on for a while, to be honest, but eventually ended up getting derailed and that led to them talking about Tubbo’s roommate - who, Tommy learned, was taller than him and, really, that’s a crime against humanity. Against God himself! He should nerf him! - and that led to them talking about spaghetti, for some reason. He still didn’t know how they got there but he wasn’t complaining.

It was fun to talk about meaningless things like this. Talking with Tubbo about stupid things that didn’t actually mean anything in the long run helped drown out the voices and he found it easier to actually pay attention to the world around him. He wasn’t just drifting, scared of doing anything because what does it matter, but, rather, he was living, however slight it might be.

-

It had been a whole week of the sky being completely clear and that just sent scientists and priests alike into a frenzy. 

The sky used to be clear pretty often, at least from what they could tell from old texts and temples, but after the Gods disappeared it’s said that it was forever cloudy. That it would either rain or snow and that there wouldn’t be a clear sky because He was punishing them. That Overworld was angry at them for the loss of Prime and XD, even if they couldn’t do anything to stop it.

No one even knows what happened to them, just that one day they were said to have disappeared and, shortly after that, so did Overworld.

Sure, it didn’t always rain or snow, at least not anymore - it’s said that when Prime and XD both disappeared that it had poured and stormed for decades straight before trickling off, with many dying because of the floods and disaster it had caused - but there hadn’t been a clear sky recorded in recent history and that led to people speculating what was happening.

Many took it as a sign that He was back, or that He had finally stopped punishing them for something they hadn’t been able to control. Others took it as a sign that He, too, had completely gone, just like Prime and XD, and therefore the sky no longer had anything to reflect. 

Few thought the god was just grieving and didn’t know the effect He had on the people below, and that this was finally Him healing.

Some hadn’t even noticed it, at first, but with a whole week of this going on it had gotten on the news. 

Weather reports were going crazy, talking about how clear the sky was and how bright the sun was, mentioning how people should bring out their sunglasses and enjoy it for the first time in ages. Priests were talking about how it was a blessing, a sign that Overworld was forgiving them and returning soon, some even mentioning that Prime and XD would be coming back as well, that the reason He’d disappeared was to get them back.

They were full of hope that They would all return together.

Despite not knowing what was happening, everyone had noticed the changes that started on that one fateful day, though whether that was a good thing or a bad thing remained to be seen.

-

It had been about a week since he’d started talking with Tubbo, since the day he’d gotten up and had been given a name.

They met up each day since then, around the same time (or at least Tommy thought it was around the same time, the sun was always around the same spot in the sky, though he didn’t bother checking a clock to see if he was right), and spoke about random things, whatever came to mind. Sometimes they spoke about their favorite animals - this had led to a rant from Tommy about how cows were the best animal God had created and no, he did not take criticism - or sometimes they’d talk about their favorite foods, and, rarely, they spoke about their lives outside of the bench.

Well, more like Tubbo would. 

He spoke about his roommate some more, talking about how he was an enderman-hybrid and that’s why he was hydrophobic, as well as mentioning an uncle-dad-parental figure(?) sometimes, mostly to complain about how he was doing fine and he definitely should stop checking in on him, they didn’t need his help, it was fine.  

Sometimes he talked about how at his work - when asked what he did he told Tommy that he worked at a mechanics shop, then immediately mentioned how he stole parts sometimes to make bombs so Tommy wasn’t sure how long he’d continue to have that job - he got an awful customer or someone who thought they knew what they were doing but most definitely did not and they got him in trouble with his boss for doing the ‘wrong thing’, even though it was right and that’s what he asked for, Tommy, I swear to fucking Prime my boss doesn’t even know what he’s doing sometimes-

And Tommy would listen to every complaint, every story, because it was so nice to just listen to someone talk and ramble. He had missed being able to do that, had missed being able to just listen and joke and talk about meaningless things with Players.

Today they were talking about the weather.

Tommy hadn’t even noticed it since he got here, but apparently the sky being clear was a big deal. Who would’ve thought?

“-and the clouds are gone and it’s so sunny! Like- like, no one’s ever seen the sky this fucking clear before but it is now and people are saying that Overworld must be done punishing us, and other people are saying it’s because Overworld died, but I think that He’s just- just healing. Like, He only disappeared after the other Gods did, right?-”

Something about that wording caught Tommy’s attention, something was wrong with it, because there was only ever one god. He would know. There had only been one. Prime and XD- they were Admins, sure, but they were not gods. Did Players really still think they were, even after they’d Logged Out? Even after they lost all motivation to keep going? After they eroded into nothing after so long of sticking out to stay by His side?

Tubbo continued, unaware of Tommy’s inner turmoil, “-I don’t get how people can’t realize that- that it’s probably hard to lose someone so close. Like, with humans I get it, cause- cause we’re all gonna die one day and that’s kind of a thing we know, but with Gods , right-” He had to pause to take a deep breath, not noticing how Tommy was watching him with wide eyes as he ranted, “but with Gods They don’t have to think about losing each other. They’re Gods-! What’s gonna kill them!? I bet- I bet He hadn’t realized there was a chance it could happen!”

He flopped back against the bench and huffed, having gotten so worked up that he had been waving his hands around to get his point across. “So I think people are being ridiculous cause they can’t realize that He wasn’t punishing us for, for the other Gods disappearing. I think He was grieving, yeah?” He finally finished and turned to Tommy.

Tommy was stunned. 

That was a lot of information at once, he had to admit, but he was used to being overstimulated with everything all at once - he was the Universe, after all. He felt, saw, knew everything, even if he didn’t want to. 

He hadn’t- Tommy hadn’t been punishing them! He hadn’t even thought about how it might have affected the mortals when he’d broken down, that it might have caused people to be so hyper aware of the weather. No one had seen a clear sky since That Day, that’s what he was hearing. 

…And it was likely true, he realized slowly. He’d been sleeping and crying and even Fading and it made sense that his eyes had been so grey it translated to the clouds and the weather. He knew the sky was a reflection, that they copied his eyes and mood, but he hadn’t been thinking about that when he’d cried, when he’d screamed.

No, all he was thinking about back Then was the pain of his flowers ripping him apart from the inside out and how the feeling had been so much worse than anything else he’d ever felt up to that point.

He had tuned out after the second half of his rant, getting lost in his thoughts of how they still thought Prime and XD were Gods, rather than Admins, but snapped out of it after Tubbo nudged him. He looked up at the hybrid, “S-sorry. Yeah, right, I think he- uh, I think He was grieving as well. Makes sense, I know, uh, I know that if I lost, lost someone like that I’d be… I’d be really upset for a long time, too.” He forced a smile and he didn’t have to see it to know it was weak.

The sky greyed and purple hyacinths grew in his lungs. He ignored the suffocating feeling that came with them, ignoring how the feeling didn’t even come from them growing in his lungs but rather what they represented. 

Tubbo stared at him for a moment, searching his face, before huffing out a weak laugh, “sorry, I didn’t mean to bring, uh, the mood down. Just needed to rant a bit, y’know? I saw the news at work this morning and it kinda pissed me off.”

Tommy quickly waved it off and managed to force a stronger smile, shrugging. “It’s cool, I understand! You’re good, Big Man.”

Tubbo hummed, seeming unsure, but didn’t press it. He likely didn’t want to make it more awkward and Tommy appreciated the thought. Instead, he changed the topic. “Anyway! Did you hear about the villain fight over in Eleventh? It was really close to here, like- it was right at the bridge!”

“Villain fight?” Tommy accepted the change in topic for what it was with no question. He scrunched up his nose and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well- after the uh, weather thing there was a section about how a villain almost blew up a building near the bridge and the heroes had to come and evacuate people! I heard that Awesamdude was there- can you believe that!? Awesamdude was in Eleventh, I wish I could’ve gotten to see him!” He rambled and didn’t notice Tommy’s confusion before Tommy managed to clarify why he had echoed him;

“No, no, like, uh, what’s a ‘villain’? I mean, I know what a villain is but, y’know- what do you mean by villain fight?” He made a vague, frustrated motion with his hand, as if Tubbo would know what that meant.

Evidently, Tubbo did know what he meant, because he made a noise of surprise. He tilted his head. “Oh! Oh. Uh. Well, it’s, it’s when someone, usually with powers, tries to, uh, terrorize the public…?” He said slowly, in thought, before huffing, “Not- not necessarily all of them terrorize the public or are bad. Sometimes villains are, like, just people who break the law with enough flare. Some of them can be pretty nice! Like- like, I met the Captain once and he saved me, so he’s pretty pog, and some villains, like Qu-” he rambled before seeming to realize that didn’t really help explain it and got back on topic. “Anyway-! If someone does something bad enough, or does something against the law too noticeably, or if heroes just don’t like them then they’ll get labelled as a villain instead of, like, an ordinary criminal.”

“Powers?”

He had never heard of humans having powers. Sure, sometimes a hybrid got especially lucky with their Blessings and got teleportation or water breathing or whatever, but nothing that was so generalized as ‘powers’. They must be new, right?

Now that definitely made Tubbo look at him weird. “...Yeah? Y’know, that thing basically everyone got just before the Gods disappeared? People say it was the ‘last ‘Gift’ or whatever from the gods before they disappeared,’” he didn’t quite seem like he believed that, but it didn’t matter when Tommy did.

He believed it but only partially. There likely had been one final gift, made of the last of their magic, but it hadn’t been from gods. It had been from the Admins.

No wonder he had no idea what they were, he was already gone by then, hidden on their once-shared island and mourning the only family he had known.

He had known they both wanted to give one last gift, one last Blessing with the final bit of motivation and life they had, but he hadn’t been around to see it. He hadn’t been around to help the Gift flourish and grow like he had all the others, despite knowing when they’d given it, despite accepting the code without double checking for any glitches or bugs. He hadn’t been able to care if the new code messed up the old code, if it had any lasting consequences. 

He hated that he was credited in the creation of their last Blessing when, in truth, he had been a coward and turned away from the world in his grief.

“..Right, yeah, sorry, I just… forgot. People called them- uh, people call them something else where I’m from.” He tried to wave it off.

He could tell Tubbo didn’t believe him but, like with other things, he didn’t press. “Of course, right. Anyway- uh, my powers are pretty cool! Usually people only have one, y’know? But I got two, and I’m a hybrid.”

“What did you get?” Tommy found himself asking, anything to get away from that conversation topic, anything to distract him from the fact that he missed Their last Gift even though he was credited with being there, missed carefully integrating it into the Game’s code and taking care of it as it flourished, because he had already been grieving his loss.

Tubbo grinned an evil grin - and, really, Tommy should’ve seen that as the warning it was - before he held his hand out in front of Tommy’s face, snapped his fingers, and then-

Tommy jumped, jolting away and staring at Tubbo’s hand. A small explosion had just come from it. It was quick, with only a single flash of light and a snap before it disappeared, but it had startled him. “What the Hell-?” He cursed, squinting at Tubbo.

Tubbo beamed, snapping again and then laughing when Tommy waved him away. “I call it ‘Snapper’! It’s like that one firework, yeah? But in my hand! I use it to scare Ranboo all the time!” He looked very proud of himself as he showed it off. “Sometimes- sometimes, if he’s not expecting it, he’ll end up teleporting away like a coward!”

He found he couldn’t be mad at him and instead he cackled. At least it was a distraction from the fact that he’d missed Their last Gift. “That’s hilarious. Boob Boy deserves it after that spaghetti thing.” Tommy didn’t even know what spaghetti was, but he’d still judge Tubbo’s mysterious roommate over it. It was just what he deserved. “What’s your other power? You said you had two.”

“Well- hm. How do I explain this one?” Tommy heard him mutter to himself, flicking an ear in what he assumed was annoyance, or maybe thought, before he began explaining, “It’s kind of like.. I can look at something and I know exactly what it’s made of. As long as I’ve heard of the materials I can identify it in anything and know how I can use them for something else. It’s kinda like a blueprint just for me! It comes in handy when I need to fix things, that’s why I got a job at a mechanics shop, but it’s kinda scuffed if I don’t know the material. It learns as I do, yeah?”

That was… actually really cool. And it sounded a lot like the Recipe Book that Players used to have in the past. He wondered, because he’d noticed the feel around Tubbo, the way he felt just a little More than the other Players did, if he was more Mod than Player.

Tommy, of course, didn’t say this, didn’t mention how Tubbo seemed to be a little more than a Player, but he certainly thought it. Instead, he snorted and grinned at him, “sounds lame.”

Tubbo sputtered at this and glared as Tommy began to laugh, “fucking- bastard! What’s your power then, if mine’s so lame?” He asked accusingly, pressing a finger against his chest with enough pressure that it might have hurt anyone else.

That made him pause and he thought for a moment before simply smirking, swatting Tubbo’s hand away and tilting his head back haughtily. “I don’t need powers, I’m simply too pog for them. God had to nerf me somehow and that was by making me an ordinary human, it would simply be over for you guys if I got a Gift.”

Tubbo was caught off guard. 

He was thinking something like… maybe something to do with plants, because every time he got here there were more and more flowers around the bench - or at least it seemed like there was, he couldn’t be sure - or maybe something to do with charisma - because Tommy just drew you in. It was like the Universe revolved around him, it made you just want to be near him, to talk to him, to listen to what he had to say - or something like that. But he hadn’t expected to hear he hadn’t gotten a power.

It was so rare that most people went their whole lives without meeting someone without one. Was that why Tommy was on the streets? He knew some people and families - however rare and idiotic they were - prided themselves for their powers and traits, and there had been the rare case when someone was kicked out because their power was too weak or useless. Had that happened to Tommy? He wanted to ask, he really did, but… he didn’t want to ruin his good mood. He had already brought it down enough for one day.

Besides, they hadn’t known each other that long, anyway. He’d hate it if Tommy asked why he hid his eyes or his horns.

So, he simply scoffed, “I think the Gods thought you might hurt yourself if you had one, actually. You seem like the type to do that.”

And just like that, they were back on track to joking and laughing and their conversation moved away from powers to something else, something safer.

Despite the safety of the new conversation, Tommy’s mind was still stuck on the fact that he’d left the Code alone for so long. He made a mental note to check on it when he went home that night.

-

For the next two weeks everything went like that; He and Tubbo would meet up at the bench, they would talk and eat snacks (something Tubbo started bringing after the second week. Tommy didn’t have to eat, but he enjoyed the new offerings anyway) and just hang out for a while before Tubbo had to go home to his roommate.

It became routine, something Tommy relied on to keep getting out of bed.

He knew it wasn’t good to put all his mental stability onto a single mortal, that this would only end badly for him because Tubbo was mortal and he wouldn’t be around forever, but… he just didn’t care. It kept him from going back into that daze from before, it kept him out and about, and it kept the sky blue during the day, not that Tubbo knew that.

He couldn’t stop meeting with Tubbo if he tried, not unless he wanted the slightest bit of stability that he had been building back up to crumble right back down, not unless he wanted to disappear for another eon, to leave the Players on their own with no Updates or hope.

So, today was another day of him going to meet with Tubbo. Well- not quite. He always wandered a small bit before his feet would eventually drag him to the park bench, he would see the sights and learn new things about the world he found himself in, and so that’s what he was doing right now. He’d even learned a bit by wandering like this, since he’d started to actually pay attention to the world around him, and he could confidently say he knew what a car was now!

This led him to where he was now. 

He was hanging out in Seventh (at least he thought it was District 7, he could be completely wrong), thinking about entering the library he’d come across - it could help him learn Common, because as far as he knew they didn’t use Galactic anymore and it sure as Hell wasn’t Ender that they were writing in - when an explosion went off.

He, unlike all the others either on the sidewalk or hanging out in the little park next to the library, stayed still and steady as the shockwaves went off. 

He looked around in surprise, head snapping back and forth before he spotted a cloud of dark smoke just down the street, with screams coming from that direction. This had to be one of the ‘villain attacks’ he’d heard Tubbo talk about. They were more common in the upper Districts, though criminal activity in general was higher in the lower ones. That’s what Tubbo had said, at least. Apparently, there was a big difference between full on villains and normal, everyday criminals. Who would’ve thought?

Either way, he realized that, after a moment of just staring blankly in that direction - ready to just turn and enter the library anyway, because explosions weren’t that scary to him - that he should probably be panicking. Or running. Or just- doing anything besides standing there with a confused look on his face as people around him ran and evacuated the area.

Tommy blinked before, finally, coming to his senses, “oh, fuck.” He cursed, turning quickly to get out of there. He wasn’t scared of getting hurt but he probably shouldn’t just hang out there. It wasn’t a very ‘human’ thing to do. Besides, he could just go to the bench now and wait for Tubbo there. It would be fine, and he could probably take a nap while waiting.

But he must have been spaced out for too long, trying to decide if he should go into the library or pretend to be human, because once he decided and he was turning to run he felt himself get grabbed. He choked at the surprise hold on the back of his shirt just as he was pulled against someone's chest, an arm wrapping around him and holding his arms down while the other pressed something sharp against his neck. “What the- Hey, what the fuck! Let go of me-!” He struggled, pushing against whoever had grabbed him before choking again as the - knife? He assumed it was a knife - knife pressed into his skin harder. He didn’t bleed, but he supposed he would’ve felt a sting if he was human. He coughed and stopped, scowling and trying to angle his head to look at his attacker.

“Look, kid, just stay still and no one else has to get hurt,” said a man’s voice, sounding slightly robotic with a voice changer.

All Tommy could see of him was a pair of red and blue glasses before he was forced to look forwards as the man moved him. “No, seriously, dude, what the Hell-” He hissed, feeling irritated by this rather than scared like he probably would’ve been had he been mortal.

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence, again, because it was then that someone landed in front of them on giant black wings. He blinked, staring at this new man. He wore mostly green and white, from what he could see, with a single heart with slits in it over where his real heart might have been - idly, Tommy noted that it looked very similar to a Hardcore Heart - and a green and white striped bucket hat on his head. A veil covered most of his face, and a blindfold hid the rest of it, presumably to better hide his identity?

“Look, mate,” His voice, too, was tinged with a voice changer, but it grated on his ears less than the man behind him. The man’s Nametag said ‘Philza’. “Just let the kid go and we can talk about this, Manifold.” His voice was calm, soothing, probably to help mediate the situation, and Tommy wondered to himself if he had a power that helped with that. “You don’t need to drag a kid into this.”

“Not a chance, Angel!” The guy, Manifold, yelled. He took a step back with a growl as, in the distance, another explosion went off. “You and I both know you wouldn’t do anything to endanger this kid-”

“I’m not a kid!?”

“-so stay back!”

Tommy found Manifold's voice annoying, eye twitching as he was forced to listen to it so close to his ear. He was half tempted to make him let go.

The sky began to grey as his eyes did, but no one seemed to notice.

The man, Angel - Philza? - held his hands out calmly and slowly folded his wings against his back. He couldn’t help but cringe when he saw the way he folded them, far too tight and high rather than lower and looser. Didn’t that hurt?

“C’mon, Manifold, you and I both know you don’t take hostages. You can still change, you don’t want to go down this route.”

Tommy noticed that Angel seemed to be looking around, as if waiting for something, and could see the way his ear feathers flicked just slightly on the left. He glanced over and saw some movement on the roof. There was a man there - or Tommy assumed it was a man, he was just slightly out of his render distance to properly see besides a handful of details and colors. Why was he wearing a trenchcoat? He tilted his head just slightly as he made eye contact with him, not caring for the knife on his neck, as he tried to figure out who he was. Who was…?

Manifold continued to back up, dragging Tommy along while not noticing the other player that had entered this game. “I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ve worked for this and I won’t let you heroes take it from me again! I’m not losing my hotel to Overworld, not after I built it up from the ground! And I don’t care if I have to hurt this kid to-”

He didn’t get to finish before there was some kind of hum in the air. It was faint, and Tommy noticed that it seemed to come from the direction of the man on the roof. He couldn’t make much more than that out, he was still too far out of his render distance, but he could swear it sounded familiar. So familiar, in fact, that he barely noticed when the grip on his arms became looser then tightened up in a panic-

“ Let the kid go. ” 

Tommy blinked and the hum came from right next to him. When he came to the man was off the roof and instead next to Manifold. When did he get closer? How long had he been spaced out? Tommy didn’t know, and a part of him didn't care because that’s not what his focus was on. No, it was more on the echo that came from his voice. He knew that voice, he did-

Almost immediately - or did it take a while? He couldn’t tell, he didn’t know, he just knew he was released and then he was stumbling forward, getting pulled into the arms of Angel and shielded by his wings. He yelped a small bit and held onto the man on instinct, looking up at him with wide eyes.

Tommy almost felt safe in the man’s arms. He hadn’t even been in any danger to begin with but when held so closely, so familiarly in Angel’s wings as he began whispering reassurances that he was okay, he felt warm. A baptisia grew around his chest and curled idly around his shoulders and he found himself grateful that they were hidden enough by his shirt that no one would notice.

Maybe it wasn’t just the way this man gave off Dad Vibes, but more he was reeling at the effects of hearing a voice he’d never thought he’d hear again, of being held in wings that were so similar but so different to Theirs. His breathing had picked up, his sight was going foggy and he kept hearing that voice-

“-Kid, kid, are you okay?” He only tuned back in after a good few seconds, having been distracted by the feeling of being held, of hearing Her, of feeling so small, and jolted with a gasp as he realized Angel had been trying to get his attention.

“Oh- Um, yeah, yes, I’m perfectly fine, Big Man.” He said quickly, mind racing to figure out what he had been asked and why. Why was he stumbling over his words? Why did he feel panicky? He hadn’t been in any danger, nor had he been scared at any point. He tried to chalk it up to the fact that the Angel must have some kind of power that made him feel younger than he was but- But. But he knew that wasn’t why. “I’m- Yeah, I’m- I’m all good.”

It was then that he realized the explosions seemed to have stopped, and that the singing had ended as well. Replacing that noise he heard sirens going off and some faint yelling before that, too, was cut off with the sound of a car door. Turning his head, he could see that Manifold had been put into a car and seemed to be yelling some pretty colourful things. He could swear he heard his name in there as well, but he was so used to tuning that out that it was nothing more than a passing acknowledgement.

Instead, he looked back to the man who just gave off Dad Vibes and realized he had been clinging to him like an actual child. He flushed pink and quickly pulled away, stumbling back and letting out a nervous laugh, “ha- Yeah, yup, I’m all good, so I really should be leaving now-!” He turned to run, ignoring Angel’s call of ‘Wait-!’ and immediately slammed into someone’s chest.

He stumbled back and groaned, squinting up at whoever he’d run into and recognizing him as the man from the roof. His trench coat looked even stupider up close. He decided he didn’t like him, simply for the fact that his power made him feel Things and because he looked stupid. “Fuckin- watch where you’re standing, dude!” He yelled.

The man, who was taller than him, mind you, he really should nerf all people taller than him, looked both offended and surprised. “I-I’m sorry-?”

“-You should be-”

“-What the Hell? I just saved you!” The man exclaimed, throwing a hand out to the side to motion to Manifold.

“Hm. No, I don’t think you did.” Tommy said. He stood up and brushed himself off with a scoff before crushing his arms, “I think Angel over there did that, because he’s the only man ever, as far as I’m concerned. Who even are you, huh? You look like a wrong’un.”

“What-! My name is Siren? The Hero?? Part of S.B.I.???” The man - Siren, apparently, though his Nametag said ‘WillisCod' - tried desperately.

Tommy tilted his head and pretended to think about it before simply shaking it, “No, I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean-”  

Before this could go any further Angel stepped up with a laugh, “Boys!” He stepped between them and shuffled his wings and it took all of Tommy’s willpower to not cringe again at the sight of them, “Siren, stop antagonizing him-”

“Angel-!”

“-he’s been through a lot just now.” Angel looked up at Tommy. Even if he couldn’t see his eyes clearly, he could easily feel his gaze on him. “Can I check your neck before you go, mate? I gotta make sure you didn’t get cut. And you really should stick around so that we can contact your parents and get a statement-”

At that Tommy laughed nervously and shook his head. “Ha- actually, y’know what? I think I’m doing perfectly fine!” He tilted his head back so that the two Heroes could see his neck, which didn’t have a scratch or mark on it, even though there probably should be with how it had been pressed against his skin, and then moved to jog around them. “See? No injuries so I really should be going now, bye-!” He ran off, disappearing in an alleyway even as Siren called after him.

“Wait-!”

But he didn’t, and when they checked the alleyway for the god, he was gone. 

-

Tommy made his way back to the bench in record time, mainly because he took some ‘shortcuts’ that he knew no one else could have. He practically collapsed on the bench before letting out a loud groan.

That was a whole fucking mess, and it wasn’t even his fault! He had been minding his own business and now his face was probably on the news. He hoped Tubbo didn’t see it, he felt he might just lose his ankles if he did. At least it was over and now he could simply pray - to who, not even God knows - that Tubbo didn’t kill him immediately when he got there.

His hopes, unfortunately, were for nought as nearly an hour later he could see a rather angry, rather short goat-hybrid rushing at him at full speed while dragging another, much taller boy with him.

Despite being God, he could admit that he let out a small shriek upon seeing him.

He sat up from where he’d been lying on the bench and cloud watching and winced as Tubbo yelled. “TOMMY!”  

He once more prayed to no one that he didn’t die here and offered a nervous grin to the other. “‘Eyyyy, Tubbo! Tubso! Tubs! Heyyy, you’re early today-” He began, hoping to ramble his way out of this so that Tubbo forgot whatever he was upset about, but didn’t get the chance to even use the tactic. Tubbo wasted no time in tackling him against the bench and ramming horns he hadn’t even known he had into his chest. He oofed at the suddenness of the headbutt and hug but didn’t reject it, even if the feeling of a second hug in one day made his skin crawl. 

No, he wasn’t touch starved! Fuck you for even suggesting that!

He hugged back slowly. “...So I guess it got on the news, huh?” 

Tubbo’s head snapped up and he glared at him. “Tommy fucking Innit!” He cried, “What the fuck was that!? Why didn’t you stay with the Heroes so they could check you out!? You just got held hostage and threatened by a man!” He screeched.

He winced back and shrunk in on himself as Tubbo used his ‘full name’. He didn’t actually have a full name, legally he didn’t even have a first name, but they had improvised and joked about ‘Innit’ being his last name ever since he’d joked about his new name being ‘Tommy, innit?’ and it seemed to have stuck.

“I mean… I- I’m perfectly fine! I didn’t even get scratched or anything, look! That means I didn’t really have to stay.” He laughed weakly and when that didn’t seem to be enough for Tubbo he continued, just a bit more hesitantly as he rubbed the back of his neck, “..and they wanted to, uh, contact my parents, but I don’t exactly have those, y’know? So I couldn’t stay.”

Tubbo’s glare softened slightly as he explained himself more. He sighed heavily and Tommy held back his own sigh - his of relief - as he flopped down against him. “Don’t fucking scare us like that.” He grumbled into his chest.

Tommy felt warm at the worry.

“I won’t, I won’t-” he began, laughing, but then paused as he realized his wording. “Wait, us?” He looked up and finally took full notice of the other person there. They sort of stood back, awkwardly, and had a black and white face mask on, with a varsity like jacket over their… Hawaiian shirt? Over yet another shirt, this time it was just black. He could recognize him as Ranboo from Tubbo’s descriptions, as well as the fact that his Nametag said ‘Ranboo’. 

“Is this Ranboob?” He asked, despite knowing the answer.

Ranboo, as he’s now been identified as, winced at the nickname, “It’s actually Ranboo-” He tried, but Tommy wasn’t having it. He knew what he said.

“It is! Tubs, you didn’t tell me I was meeting the Ranboob today!” He scolded.

Tubbo cackled and finally got off of him, though he winced when it resulted in him getting elbowed in the stomach, so that he could grab Ranboo’s hand and pull him to the bench with what seemed like more force than necessary. “Well we didn’t plan for it to be today! He had a stream and I was at work and I was going to be there for even longer but then someone decided to get themselves held hostage by a villain, so here we are!”

Ranboo sighed but let themself be dragged over, “it’s, uh, it’s true. Tubbo’s told me a lot about you, though.” He offered a tentative smile that Tommy could only see because it creased the corners of his eyes.

Tommy looked at him but was quick to focus on a point near him instead, since he remembered Tubbo telling him that Ranboo was an enderman-hybrid and had gotten the eye-contact trait. “Tubbo’s told me a lot about you, too. Did you really put spaghetti in cereal?” He squinted right at the man.

They winced, “erm, he told you about that? It was supposed to be a joke-”

“But you ate it!” Tubbo chimed in, his voice rising in pitch as he easily got worked up over this - like he’d had this conversation multiple times, “you said it was supposed to be a joke but you fucking ate it! There was a cinnamon roll in it, and there was fucking milk and Creeper Crunch and you ate it with spaghetti.” He groaned heavily before Ranboo even got a chance to defend himself and just waved it off. “That doesn’t matter! That’s not why we’re here! Congrats, you’ve met Ranboo, we’re now kidnapping you.”

“Wait what-”

“Tubbo, wait, you said we’d talk about this first-”

Both began protesting, Tommy’s more out of confusion and Ranboo’s out of exasperation, as they both found themselves being dragged from the bench and to somewhere, presumably to Tubbo’s apartment that he’d heard so much about.

“We are talking about it! Right now! On the way! Tommy, you’ve been sleeping on that bench-”

“-I told you, I fucking haven’t!?-”

“-for nearly a month now, and you wander around all day and you don’t have fucking shoes, and since you’ve been held hostage I’m making the executive decision that you’re moving in with us. No, you don’t have a choice, and no, I’m not joking.”

Tommy was both confused and offended, “I’m not- Tubbo, I told you I’m not fucking homeless, I swear to fucking Prime and XD-”

“Tommy.”

They stopped, now on the sidewalk just outside the entrance to the park. Tubbo looked Tommy in the eyes, serious, even brushing his hair aside so that they could meet directly.

Tommy vaguely thought about how this was the first time he’d seen Tubbo’s eyes so clearly.

“If you can take me, right now, to your house and show me where you’re sleeping, I’ll drop this.” Tubbo said with such intensity that Tommy found himself silent. 

He wasn’t homeless, he had a home. He didn’t sleep on a bench, and he had shoes, and- he couldn’t even show Tubbo because it would give him away. He couldn’t bring anyone to his house, because then they would know and they couldn’t know because that would ruin the Game.

“I… can’t.” He said slowly.

He looked at the ground and refused to meet Tubbo’s eyes again, no matter how hard he tried to make him.

Tubbo tried for a few seconds longer before sighing and nodding, “then you’re coming home with us, and you’re going to sleep in a proper bed.” When Tommy opened his mouth to protest, Tubbo continued, softer than before, “No. Tommy, I’m serious. Even before today I’ve been thinking about asking you to move in, I’ve already talked about it with Ranboo and they don’t mind-”

“-He’s- He’s right, I don’t-”

“-and I’m not going to let my friend continue sleeping and wandering around in dangerous areas because he doesn’t have anywhere better to go.”

Tommy was silent, stuck thinking about this. Did he really want to go back there, where it was empty and cold and lonely? With the constant reminder of his past, of what he had abandoned in his grief? Could he really go back there, knowing he could have had something else? Could he really lose this chance?

“...We’re friends?” Was all he managed out, sounding so much smaller than he ever remembered sounding as he looked down at Tubbo with searching eyes.

Searching for what, he didn’t know.

Still, he found Tubbo staring at him with genuine worry and he shuffled on his feet at the mushy feeling it caused him. A few feet away, a yellow rose bloomed and only one of them noticed. “Of course we’re friends, Toms. I wouldn’t let anyone stay on my bench, y’know. I would’ve simply taken their kneecaps.” He headbutted him in the chest again and then grabbed his wrist.

“...Okay,” he whispered, finally giving in.

If anyone asked, he would say he agreed because he was so bored of Playing the old Game. If anyone asked, he would be lying.

And once more the three were marching along, but Tommy wasn’t struggling this time and Ranboo didn’t protest the suddenness of it all.

That day, the sky was the clearest it had ever been and the Universe felt Warm.