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Chapter Text

Chapter One - Devil in Disguise

You look like an angel

Walk like an angel

Talk like an angel

But I got wise

You're the devil in disguise

Devil in Disguise, Elvis Presley

20th January 2005

To anyone looking in from the outside, I, Clara Miller, probably looked like a fool. I was neither a gifted singer, nor a dancer, but that didn't stop me from turning the music already blasting from my car radio up even higher as I crossed into Forks, Washington. Most people would hate the give or take twenty-hour drive from Alberta, Canada to this small tree infested town, but not me.

My mom loathed taking long-distance road trips with me, my constant chatter and singing tiring her out more than the actual driving. She preferred short weekend breaks where she could sit somewhere nice and watch the world go by. Since my dad had passed away from cancer, my mom had lost some of the life that she used to have. She became a mellow, quiet woman, though no less caring and kind. She is the strongest person I know, always focusing on helping everyone else, often forgetting about her own well-being. I suppose that's why she became a nurse. Well, that and the fact that unlike me, she didn't squirm at the sight of a needle.

Over the last year or two, my mom and I had decided to take trips around the US, Canada and on occasion Europe, putting the money my father had left us to good use. Richard Miller was always up for a good adventure, and thanks to him we could visit the places he always wanted to, filling up a memory book in his honour.

It had been months since our last, and most likely, final trip. And now here I was, car packed full, my entire life in boxes and bags. Three weeks ago I had walked into the tiny apartment in a small Alberta town, to find my now ex-boyfriend in bed with someone who was definitely not me. I was almost confused about how I was dealing with the whole situation. After the initial shock wore off, I wasn't overly upset. It was easy to see from the outside that Nick and I were only together because it was almost routine, comfortable. We had been together since my final year of high school, and when my mom decided to move back to her home town of Forks, I decided to stay in Canada with Nick.

Nick wasn't the only one to get some relief the night he was caught. With the weight of my dying relationship off of my shoulders, and nothing more keeping my twenty-three-year-old self, in Canada, I bid my aunt and uncle a farewell, blocked my ex's number, and packed up my stuff.

And that is how I ended up in this small rainy town. As much as I loved Alberta, there was something exciting about moving to a new place for the first time. My mom was of course ecstatic when I called her to inform her of my decision. She tried to be comforting given the situation but I could feel her excitement through the phone.

To be honest, I think she's lonely. Sally Miller wasn't one to gossip, but she never really mentioned anyone outside the occasional interaction with a grocer. It made my heartache. My mom had lost her best friend, her soul mate, and there was nothing I could do to fix the pain, especially when I could barely deal with my own.

I missed my dad almost every day. I missed his kind brown eyes and weird laugh. Sometimes I found myself struggling to remember certain things about him, the panic of forgetting causing me to cry into the nearest pillow. I tried though, to move on from the grief. I didn't want it following me around for the rest of my days, like an extra limb and neither did my dad; he had said so himself not long before he passed.

Experiencing the loss had lit a fire inside of me. I didn't want to waste any time or have any regrets. I wanted to make as many memories as I could in the time I had. And despite all odds, perhaps Forks would be the place to do just that.

Though as I drove through the town, head still bopping in time to the music, I noticed immediately that nothing had really changed. The last and only time I had ever been to Forks was in 2002 when I had come to spend the summer with my mother, and as far as I could tell, it was much the same as it had been then.

There was something about the place that drew me in. There was an almost eerie atmosphere here, something… supernatural. When I had told my mum as much she merely laughed in reply, shaking her head. I had always had a fascination with the weird and unnatural. Ghost stories, tales of monsters and the occult had always captured me, and I consumed as much of it as my brain could possibly manage. Every teenager has their 'phase'. Mine just happened to be everything weird. My mom hoped I would have moved past this phase by now, but at twenty-three, it was just as strong as it was when I was in High School. I was just a lot more subtle about it with anyone that wasn't my mother. 

Mom would always be so embarrassed when I would claim some poor Canadian was a supernatural creature. I was once so convinced that my grade nine English teacher was a secret mermaid, that I threw a bottle of seawater I had collected over her during class. I got grounded for two months after that, and my mom took away my conspiracy books for a time, though my dad snuck them back to me after my punishment was over. I always said that anything was possible. My dad would then say people like me were the reason scammer fortune-tellers were still in business.

So in 1998, when I realised there was something off about some of the new students that moved to Alberta and joined the local high school, I had kept that information to myself. Not only did I know that my mother and father would never believe a word I would say, but it was also the year my dad had got given his terminal diagnosis. My mom and dad had to move an hour away from our small town to my grandparent's home, my mom needing the extra support to look after him and pay the bills. I had moved in with my aunt and uncle so I could continue on with my education where I was, able to visit my parents every weekend.

Due to the distance, and struggling to deal with everything that was happening, my parents never heard a peep about the Cullens and the weirdness that seemed to radiate from them. They mostly kept to themselves, having a strange 'culty' family dynamic. I never saw Mr and Mrs Cullen, though I had heard enough about them from the student gossip mill. They had adopted three children; Alice, Emmett and Edward, and had fostered two more: Rosalie and Jasper Hale, the twins.

Day after day I had to listen to people go on and on about how gorgeous they all were, as though I didn't have eyes of my own. They were the most attractive people I had ever seen. Annoyingly so. You can't help but be slightly self-conscious when Rosalie Hale is across the room, with skin as smooth as porcelain, and then the queen of high school Mina Holloway is calling me pizza face and speccy every other day.

It was strange. Despite them, being the centre of attention any time they entered a room, most people seemed to unconsciously avoid them, myself included. There was something in my gut telling me to run the other way when one was walking in my direction.

That was until Alice Cullen was assigned my partner in class, and so a strange friendship was born. I always thought I was a very cheery person, but Alice took the cake in that regard. It was always bizarre to me how different she seemed to be in comparison to her siblings. Well except maybe Emmett, who on occasion would wave at me after I began spending time with his sister.

For almost a year Alice was probably my closest friend, which I suppose wasn't such a high bar to beat when you're known as the weird girl who believed in mermaids and ghosts. Alice was a light in the very dark period of my life, and I was thankful to her for more than one thing during that time.

And yet, over the entire course of our friendship, there was always some underlying mystery. Something that called to me to solve, to dig deeper to discover the truth. I was always too nosy for my own good and inevitably it would get me into trouble.

I barely knew anything about Alice during the time I had known her. Even now I still didn't have any answers to my burning questions. Any time I would ask something personal, ( 'Why do you never invite me around to your house?' 'Why do you move around so much?' 'What's up with you all having the same weird eye colour?' ) she would get quite tense, though she tried to hide it. She would skirt around the question, never giving me a straight answer, or quickly changing the subject. Sometimes she would get this weird spaced out look on her face like she was disappearing inside her own head. I tried to ask her if it was some sort of seizure, but it was just another thing she would pretend didn't occur. It was hard for my teenage mind to not get irritated with her over it all, but it was equally as hard to stay angry at Alice for too long. She seemed to always know exactly when I would no longer be annoyed, winning me over with her perfect smile.

I knew I shouldn't have pushed. Clearly, the topic of the family was a touchy one for her and the rest of her siblings, as I soon realised I was getting glares from across any room I entered, particularly from Rosalie and Edward.

I wanted to stop the questions from pouring from my foolish sixteen-year-old mouth, to just let Alice continue being a ray of sunshine for me. Yet, that gut feeling prevailed.

There was something very wrong with the Cullen's.

They lived on the outskirts of the town, in the middle of the woods, which, uh, creepy. And Alice was always freezing. Any time she hugged me, (which was always, that girl was a hugger), I felt as though I just stepped into a walk-in freezer. They would always disappear in the warm weather, to go 'camping', and I don't think I ever saw Alice properly eat anything. Not once.

My brain would run away with me, and I started to dream about all the monsters the Cullen clan could take the form of until there was only one possible answer. One I realised after a re-watch of the 1958 version of Dracula , with my dad. One of his personal favourites.

Vampire.

What a terrifying thought. Yet also thrilling. Had I been friends with a vampire for a time? Or had we even been friends at all? Was I just a snack, waiting to be drained of life?

I avoided Alice the day after I came to this conclusion, though after what seemed to be an argument from her siblings, and yet another one of those far off looks, she didn't try very hard to approach me, merely giving me a sad, pained smile from across the parking lot.

It was later that same day, that a short, but terrifying event occurred.

I had been running late, the hallway empty as everyone else dispersed toward their next class. I was removing books from my locker when it was slammed shut in a flash, nearly hitting me in the process. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and a cold fear consumed me. I remember not being able to move, barely able to breathe as I looked into the pitch-black eyes of Rosalie Hale. I could barely contemplate the change in her eye colour, as the look on her face shot terror through my veins.

She looked so enraged, as though I had personally wronged her in some way, and I knew at that moment that I had dug too deep, that they somehow knew all of my contemplation about them, that I knew a secret. Standing before me was not the teenage beauty who would send her hateful looks in my direction. It was a monster, a predator. And she looked as though she was about to end me. It wasn't until her twin brother placed a hand on her shoulder, that I looked away from those piercing orbs.

Jasper's intense, golden eyes were also trained on my petrified form, though his expression was blank, controlled. I let out a breath, unaware of how desperately I had been looking to him, as though he would save me, forgetting completely that whatever Rosalie was, there was no doubt her brother was the same. Yet he seemed intent on stopping her, and my silly mind took that as a good sign.

I snapped my eyes back to Rosalie as she shrugged her brother's hand from her shoulder, preparing myself for an attack. But it never came. She had stormed away as quickly as she had appeared, not saying a word, and I watched as she went, until she was out of sight. It was only then that I realised Jasper was still standing in place watching me, his expression still guarded, yet I swore I saw some curiosity in that handsome face. Then he too turned on his heel and walked away, following his twin.

I decided to skip the rest of the day, telling my aunt I was feeling sick. And I suppose at the time it wasn't a complete lie. I had the worst nightmares that night. I wasn't a very religious person, but those black eyes haunted me, they were like the eyes of a demon.

The next day I wanted to be prepared. If there was in fact a family of vampires stalking the halls of my school, then it was time to don my metaphorical Van Helsing hat. I stole the cross that hung on the living room wall of my aunt and uncle's home, hoping they wouldn't notice it was missing.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day the Cullens weren't at school. Nor were they the day after that. Overnight, they had disappeared. Alice had disappeared.

She was a ghost, there one minute and then gone the next. And I knew that it was entirely my fault. Not that I could tell anyone. Who would believe me? The weird mermaid girl. It was known that the Cullens seemed to move around a lot, and so everyone in the small town seemed to accept their leaving as un-suspicious, especially since they had been residents for less than a year. Barely any time to settle. No one knew where they had gone, and it didn't take long for me to miss my best friend. I tried to email Alice a few times, but I never got a reply, not that I expected to, me assuming she was a vampire and all that.

After a while, I toned down the supernatural intrigue, at least in public, and my parents moved back in the months that followed. I threw myself into looking after and spending time with my dying father, and my budding relationship with Nick. Eventually, any remnants of the Cullens were gone, as though they had never been there in the first place.

The older I got, the more I convinced myself that I had imagined the whole thing. A distraction that I had conjured up, to forget about the overwhelming sadness that followed me during that period of my life. The memories seemed to blur more and more as the years went by.

Yet, every now and then I dreamed of that family. That final sad smile, those dark devil's eyes, and my handsome blonde monster in shining armour.

And now here I was, five years since I had graduated, in many ways the same person, and in many ways, not.

I pulled the car to a stop in front of my mother's home, beside her own parked car. I glanced at the time: 17:34 PM

It was a nice area, the house that my mom was living in was a neat little two-bedroom, the garden plain, but well kept. I switched the engine off quickly, the music cutting out mid-song. The world seemed completely quiet at that moment, as I stepped out of the vehicle, and onto Forks soil. I took in a deep breath of wet nature air, stretching my legs after the long journey. I glanced around me, smiling at the trees that could be seen from every angle. I noticed the house across the way had a police cruiser sitting outside the front. I quirked an eyebrow; good to know if I'm about to be murdered, I only have to run across the street to get the cops.

I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat, pushing the door closed. After a moment I felt my face break out in a wide toothy grin, and I almost hopped away from the car and skipped up the steps to the door of my new humble abode. I bounced in anticipation, my hand on the doorknob. Then with a giggle, I threw the door open, rushing into the open living room.

"Mother! I have arrived!" I threw my hands out like a theatre performer about to bow after a successful performance, pausing dramatically for my applause.

My grin fell. The only response I got was the sound of thunderous snoring. Looking to my left, I immediately spotted my mother, head leaning over the back of the sofa, mouth open, fast asleep.

My mouth fell open in shock, hands-on-hips, "Unbelievable."

I walked forward until I reached the front of the sofa, standing directly in front of my mother. I watched her snoring form, a smirk forming on my lips. I quickly pulled out my phone, recording a nice close up of my mother's face. Satisfied with the short video, I put my phone away, watching for a moment longer.

Then I opened my mouth, and out came the loudest shout I could manage.

Sally Miller's eyes shot open, her own scream escaping her as she tumbled onto the wood floor. She rolled about grasping for a weapon, ending up with a pillow in her hands. The noise died out as recognition filled her face, her stare darkening as she watched my form, unable to keep the hysterical laughter from running away from me at the sight of my mother sprawled out on the floor.

I wiped away an imaginary tear, as my mom pushed herself from the ground, grumbling, though I could see the delight at my sudden appearance in her cosy living room beginning to form on her face.

"Oh, mother dearest. How I've missed you!"

I squealed as a pillow hit me square in the face.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two - Who You Gonna Call?

If there's something strange

In your neighborhood

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.

"Clara!"

I groaned, rolling over, burying my head deeper into the puffy pillow. I couldn't remember the last time I had my mother waking me up with her insistent shouting, but I certainly didn't miss it.

"Clara Miller!" The door to my bedroom flew open, and I covered my head with the pillow, hoping against all odds that I would disappear.

"Clara. It's time to get up! Addy is expecting you in an hour."

I stayed as still as I could, as though that would make me invisible. I heard my mom's frustrated huff and her stomping footsteps as her short legs carried her across the room.

"No!" I whined as a fight began between the two of us, each of us grasping an end of my comfort puff.

"Honestly, and you tell me you're a grown woman!" My mom made a noise of success as she held her prize in the air. "Now, go and get a shower, smelly. Knowing you, you'll probably be late as it is, so please do try and make a good impression."

I huffed as the pillow hit my chest, my mouth falling into a pout. "But I don't wanna go to work!" I knew I sounded like a child, but continued moping regardless.

My mom rolled her eyes in amusement, choosing to ignore my words. 'And when you get home later, you better unpack your stuff young lady." She wrinkled her nose at the unopened boxes that cluttered my room from the night before, my suitcase open, clothes laying in a mess. "Messy home-"

"Messy mind. Yes I know, I know." I grumbled, finishing her sentence. "Stop bullying me. Your only child has been here for less than twenty-four hours and already you're looking rid of me!"

My mom moved to the window, opening the curtains. I hissed at the light that shone in, "Ah! It burns!"

"Okay, Dracula. I've got to head to work, but I'll be home this evening, we can order pizza!"

I sat up, looking at her, slightly more awake than before. I cocked an eyebrow, "What kind of pizza."

"I'll leave that up to you, sweetheart. We can have a movie night."

I grinned, "Excellent." I began to run through all of the DVDs that I had brought with me, planning the whole night.

"I already regret suggesting it." She smiled at me warmly. "I still can't believe you're here. I'm so happy you decided to come to Forks, Clara."

I returned her smile, "Me too, mom."

"There's pancakes in the kitchen for you. Make sure you eat something before you leave. I'll see you later."

I threw my legs over the side of the bed as she left the room. "I love you!" I shouted and giggled as she hollered a reply.

I definitely spent too long in the shower, but it was hard not to. My favourite thing after a long journey was the shower waiting with open arms to envelop me in a hot, stress-relieving hug. The bed in my mom's spare room, well now my room, was much more comfortable than the one I had shared with Nick. I had slept like a baby. Already things were looking up for me.

After the incredibly long hugs and kisses following my arrival last night, my mom and I began the dull job of unpacking my car and moving everything up to my room. I lost count of the number of times I walked up and down those stairs but it was enough for me to curse them as I danced down them this morning, earphones in, volume on my iPod up far too loud. My mom always warned me I'd be deaf before thirty if I wasn't careful.

I pilled a plate full of my mom's freshly baked pancakes, drowning them in far too much syrup. I checked the watch on my wrist, shoving a forkful into my mouth. 07:45 Am. I was thankful my new place of work was less than ten minutes from the house, otherwise, I'd be so fired before I even started.

Finishing the last of my fluffy delights, I pulled out my earphones and hurried to pull on my shoes. Double-checking I had my new set of house keys, I locked the front door, jumped down from the porch and into my car. I had noticed the two cars across the road were already missing from the drive, the two residences having already started their day.

While we had been unpacking my car last night, a dark-haired, moustached man had exited the house and walked over to join us. My mother instantly smiled in greeting, clearly, it was someone she knew.

Charlie Swan was an awkward man in a lot of ways, often standing with his hands on his hips, feet shifting as though he felt out of place. There was a warmth about him though, and it made me smile to see my mom chat with him so casually. Perhaps she wasn't as alone as I had thought.

Charlie offered to help with my things, which I was quick to accept. Anything to lessen the number of times I had to walk those damned stairs. In no time we had everything in the house, and I celebrated with my mom's stash of hot chocolate. I made two more mugs for the nurse and the cop, and my God, I had never felt more like a third wheel in my life. It was like I was sixteen again, and the grown-ups were talking. I threw myself into the sofa, switching on the TV, while they both spoke. My mom was asking about Charlie's daughter, Bella, who had just moved to Forks three days before me.

Talk about timing.

I pulled into the small parking lot of the tiny supermarket, with no shortage of spaces available for me to take up. I managed to get a spot right by the front door, which was good news for me considering it looked as though the sky was going to open up and pour with rain.

The open sign hanging from the door swung as I opened it, a quiet bell dinging, alerting everyone to my presence. And by everyone, I meant, well, no one. The shop was empty. It would have been completely silent if not for the music playing from the muffled speakers. I stood awkwardly, kicking the ground slightly as I slowly moved further into the area. To my right, there were two tills sitting side by side, unmanned, with the rest of the room broken down into aisles.

"Uh, hello?"

I heard a curse from somewhere near the back of the shop, "Just a minute!"

A squeal quickly followed, and the sound of boxes falling echoed through the room. I slid along one of the aisles, following the noise, eyebrow raised. I came to a halt just as my foot was about to step on a bag of marshmallows. A small blond was kneeling on the floor, reaching to retrieve all of the escaped mallows. I reached down and grabbed the bag by my foot, moving forward to lean down beside her.

"I mean, we could just ditch work and make some smores?" I smiled as her blue eyes connected with mine.

After a moment she smiled widely, her two front teeth slightly bigger than the rest. "I wish." She took the bag from my hand with a thanks, closing the box back up. "You must be Clara then?"

"That's me." I stood, lifting another box from the ground, following the girl to the front of the shop, "And you must be Addy?" I eyed the small name tag that was pinned to her uniform, reading ' Adeline'.

"You'd be right," She set the box down on the counter and I followed suit. She stuck her hand out toward me "Adeline Rowe, though everyone calls me Addy. Adeline makes me feel old."

I laughed, placing my hand in hers, "Clara Miller, reporting for duty."

She eyed me, smiling slightly. "Jesus, you look just like your mother! Well, a much taller version of her."

"Yeah, I've been told that a lot. I consider it a compliment."

"And so you should! I love your mom, she's so lovely. Never any trouble."

"You get a lot of trouble around these parts?" I glance around, eyebrow raised.

"You'd be surprised at how much free time people have on their hands. Expect people to shout at you as though you caused every problem they've ever had."

"Not really selling this job to me Addy."

She smirked, "From what your mom told me, you were desperate enough to take what you could get."

"Traitor," I whispered under my breath.

Addy laughed, "I'm just doing you a service and preparing you for what's ahead. But hey! If we start to question our existence, we can take turns hiding in the storeroom. That's what I do. Though don't tell Marian, the manager. She has a massive power complex."

"Duly noted."

Addy walked me through the day to day of running the store and gave me my new uniform and name tag. After a few hours, the store began to gain a bit of a buzz. I had worked in a small corner shop back in Alberta, so I took to my new role quite well, my social skills had developed since my awkward teenage stage. Addy also informed me of the three other people who were my new colleagues: Joe, who was around the same age as both Addy and I (who had just turned twenty-three the week before), Ron, an elderly man who apparently just refused to retire, and the manager, Marian. Someone you don't want to get on the wrong side of. Thankfully, said woman, was on a week-long holiday, so it was one less thing for me to worry about.

I was currently stacking cans, bobbing my head along with the music coming from the speakers. I chuckled as I listened to Addy's attempt to talk to an old woman who had obviously forgotten to wear her hearing aid.

"Mrs Keen," Addy spoke slow, loud and clear, frustration bubbling within her, "the frozen yoghurt is where it always is. It hasn't moved since you were last here!"

"What? Listen Adeline, dear, would you just take me to the frozen yoghurt. It's moved since the last time. You really should get some sort of system in this place."

I giggled, just imagining the steam coming from Addy's ears. If there was one thing I learned about her in this short amount of time it was that she had the patience of a toddler. It was quite amusing. I tried to hide my smile, unsuccessfully as Addy approached me.

"Could you please watch the till, while I take Mrs Keen to the storeroom and murder her?"

"As long as you clean up after yourself. We don't need any ghosts haunting the shop."

"Funny."

I rose from my knees and made my way to the tills, greeting the elderly man that stood waiting. He was a pleasant enough man, though he was quite the talker. In the space of five minutes, I knew the entire history of his three marriages and the names of all five of his children. I noticed a woman standing behind him patiently, with a trolley full of food. I tapped on the counter, breathing deeply as I waited for the man to take his bag and leave, worried the woman would be angry with me. I would probably start to cry if she began to shout.

My fears were quickly squashed as she finally approached me, pushing the trolley forward, the kindest smile I'd ever seen painted across her heart-shaped face. Caramel-coloured hair hung gracefully around her beautiful features.

"Sorry for the wait," I said sincerely, smiling as she began placing her items on the counter. I lifted them one by one, ringing them up and then bagging them.

"Oh don't worry about it," she waved the apology away, "I don't mind the wait."

I laughed, "Most people wouldn't agree with you." I looked up at her, pausing my scanning movements.

Those eyes. Gold, and kind. Almost shining. I furrowed my brows. Is this what Deja Vu felt like? I scanned her perfect features quickly, she seemed familiar, yet I had never met her before, of that I was sure. Her smile remained, but I noticed the question forming in her mind. It was then I realised I had been staring, and flushed. I was sure my face was blotchy and red. Perfect.

"Uh sorry," I squeaked, trying to ignore the feeling that grew in my gut, grasping for something to say. "This is an awful lot of food. Are you throwing a party?" I gestured awkwardly.

She laughed gently, "No, I just have quite the family."

I was confused as to how someone so young could have a large family. She didn't look much older than me. I pushed the questions forming in my mouth away. Stop being nosy!

She watched me for a moment, eyes quickly flickering to the name tag. "I don't think I've seen you around before?"

"No, I just moved here, back with my mom. She's lived here the last few years, she's a nurse at the hospital." I added that last part, knowing almost everyone knew everyone in this small town.

"Oh!" Her eyes lit up, as she handed me the cost of her groceries, "My husband is the Chief doctor there. What's your mother's name? They surely must know each other."

"Sally Miller. I'd say so, she works more than she should. He probably can't get rid of her." We shared a quiet laugh, as she lifted the last of the bags into her arms. I looked at her curiously, "And your husband-?"

"Clara." Addy stormed up to me, what looked to be melted frozen yoghurt splatted all over her, Mrs Keen hobbling after her, two tubs clutched happily in her arms. "Would you please deal with Mrs Keen, while I clean up the mess in the frozen food aisle?"

I decided not to ask what had happened, instead just nodding at the blonde with amusement.

"Thank you." She huffed, before noticing the woman standing beside her. "Hey, Esme."

Esme smiled warmly, "Hello, Addy, Nice to see you, as always." She lturned to me, giving me a kind look. "I think that's my cue to leave. It was nice to meet you, Clara. Welcome to Forks."

I paused, something poking my brain, telling me to wake up. Instead, I pushed that curiosity aside, and smiled, "Thanks. You too."

And then she was gone, replaced by frozen yoghurt.

The rest of the afternoon went by quick enough. I got out of work at around 13:00 PM, so I had the rest of the day to myself. I met Joe, as he took over for the next shift, and exchanged phone numbers with Addy, who promised to take me hiking at some point. I stopped at the small diner near the store, treating myself to a nice lunch. I was always very comfortable sitting in places like this by myself. I enjoyed people watching, and would pull out the sketch pad I carried with me everywhere, drawing anything interesting that caught my eye. I was no expert by any means, but I enjoyed drawing and painting as a hobby. It was certainly one my mom encourage more than my supernatural interests.

And yet, the entire drive home I couldn't help but think about the beautiful woman, who had ' quite the family ' and bright golden eyes. I regretted not asking Addy about her, though she didn't seem to be in a talking mood the rest of the day. What was this feeling of foreboding I couldn't quite shake?

A woman is nice and friendly and that means what? BAD! DANGER! RUN!

I took a deep breath, shaking my head as I closed my car door, leaning my head against the cool metal.

God, I really need to stop reading true crime stories before I go to bed.

I looked up at the deafening rumble that filled the air as the noisy truck that lived across the street came into view, taking its spot outside the house. The engine cut off, and then a moment later a pale brunette, who I assumed was one Bella Swan, jumped down out of the car. I had yet to meet her, but something in my mind told me that I should. I had heard a bit about her the night before, and it seemed like she could use a friend. Before I could stop myself my feet began walking toward her.

"Bella!" I called out, smiling reassuringly when she turned at the sound of her name. I didn't blame her for the awkward, confused look she gave me, a hesitant smile coming to her face.

"Uh, hi?" It came out like a question, causing me to chuckle.

"Hi. I'm Clara! I met your dad yesterday, I'm not sure if he mentioned me."

Recognition flooded her face, and she flushed red, shifting. She indicated behind me to my new home before speaking, "You're Sally's daughter, right?"

"That's me. Forks gets two new girls in the space of a couple of days. Imagine that."

He let out a breathy laugh, "Don't remind me."

We smiled awkwardly for a moment before I cleared my throat continuing. "So maybe this is really weird because this is literally the first time we're meeting but I was thinking of going for breakfast in the morning, I don't start work until the afternoon. And uh… well, I was wondering if you'd like to join me?"

She flushed once more, looking at me with those big brown eyes "Oh! Um…"

Oh God, now it's awkward. Now I was blushing too.

"I mean it's no problem if you don't want to. I know I must seem so old or whatever, plus it'll be a Saturday so you probably already have plans. It was just since we're both kind of in the same boat- I thought… uh-"

"No, no," She cut me off, giving me an awkward smile, "I was thinking about going to the library tomorrow, so maybe we could kind of, I don't know, do both? If that's something you'd be up for, of course!" She added hastily.

I laughed at her worry, which seemed to help her relax a bit, "No that sounds perfect."

"It would be nice to get to know someone. I feel a bit, out of place, I guess."

I looked at her warmly, "I wouldn't worry, you've only been here like a week right?" she nodded in confirmation, "Give it some time, you'll find your footing."

She bit her lip and nodded her head again, though she still looked quite unsure.

I ran a hand through my hair, "I'll see you in the morning then? Say at nine o'clock?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Okay cool." Giving her one more awkward, reassuring smile I began to walk away, "See you, Bella."

"Clara?" She called hesitantly.

I turned back, a question in my eyes.

"How old are you, exactly?" She said the words carefully, as though I might be offended she asked.

I laughed, "A spry twenty-three years old."

She laughed then, and I was almost surprised. She was such a quiet mouse, but the sound suited her.

"That's not old, Clara."

"Sure feels it when compared to a high schooler. Has the potential to be creepy."

We decided to quickly exchange numbers, gave a quick goodbye and then retired into our respective homes.

My mom soon text me to let me know that she would be home within the hour, so I spent that time, unpacking my things, earphones in. It was nice to be surrounded by my own things again, making the neat, but plain room feel much cosier. I covered the white walls with my horror classic posters and packed my clothes away into the drawers and wardrobe, that had lain empty. My mom didn't have much time for reading, so she cleared out the small bookcase downstairs, and brought it up to my room (with the help of Charlie). I packed the shelves full of everything weird, and monstrous, along with the occasional cheesy romance. I stored my mini easel away beside the small desk that was situated under the window, placing the box of art supplies on top of the bookshelf.

It was raining outside, cold and wet, and the perfect night for some movies. I grinned, digging through the plastic box that held all of the DVDs my dad and I had gathered over the years. I knew exactly what my mother and I would be watching.

I bounced down the stairs, turned on the few lamps that were scattered about the room, and lit up some scented candles, inhaling deeply that intoxicating, cocoa butter smell. Looking at my watch I knew that my mom would be home any minute, so I grabbed the takeaway menu that was stuck to the fridge and ordered a large Hawaiian pizza.

I was sitting on the sofa when my mom entered the house. She looked tired, and I questioned whether or not to make her sit and watch these movies that I had seen a thousand times, but my mom insisted.

"Trust me, Clara, there's nothing I would love more than to have a chilled out night with my favourite girl."

Well, there was no arguing with that.

"What are we watching then?" My mom descended the stairs thirty minutes later, snug in her pyjamas, arms full of pillows and blankets.

I grinned, "Well…" I lifted the two DVD cases, holding them up for her to see.

"Oh no." she groaned.

I snorted with laughter. "There is no Dana! Only Zuul!" I put on my best creepy voice, waving Ghostbusters I and II wildly in the air.

"Oh, Christ. That's all I'm going to hear for the next week." Though she said it with disdain, I could see the corners of her mouth curling up into a smile.

"Back off man," I said in my best Bill Murry impression, "I'm a scientist."

My mom ignored me as I continued to throw quotes at her, various bad impressions pouring from my mouth. She cuddled into a blanket, picking up a slice of pizza, humming in happiness. "I can't remember the last time I had pizza."

"That's the saddest thing you've ever said, mom. " I pushed the DVD into the DVD player, before throwing myself into the pillows.

"Oi! Careful! You'll get pizza sauce all over my nice clean blankets."

"Oh shush." I moaned in delight as I bit into a slice of heaven. Perfection. I hummed as we watched the trailers play, "I asked Bella Swan to have breakfast with me tomorrow."

My mom looked at me, eyes wide, chewing. "Oh?"

"God, you don't think it was a weird thing to do, do you?"

She swallowed, sitting up, smiling. "No, no! I think that's a great idea. I know Charlie was concerned she was maybe a bit lonely, he would really appreciate you looking out for her. She probably misses her mom."

I smiled, relieved, feeling a little more sure. As the movie started, I cuddled into my tiny mom, who seemed to drown in the layers surrounding her.

It was only later when I had settled into my overly pillowed bed, that I remembered the mysterious Esme, who had awoken something inside me. I should have mentioned her to my mom. I decided not to think too much about it as the sleep weighed down my eyes, and I sunk into the bedding.

That night I dreamt of a tall, gorgeous, blonde man, all of his features seemed hidden to me. All except those golden eyes.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three - You're Looking at Me Like I'm See Through

So I think I better go

I never really know how to please you

You're looking at me like I'm see-through

I guess I'm gonna go

I just never know how you feel

Do you even feel anything?

8, Billie Eilish

I met Bella outside, at nine o'clock on the dot.

I started the engine of my car, pulled up outside her house, and fixed my curly chin-length hair in the rearview mirror. I had cut it in the last year, the same childish, longer brunette locks I had sported for years, finally gone, freeing up my face. Mom was very happy about it as she had continued to mention it since I got here.

"Morning, Bella!" I smiled as she climbed into the passenger side.

She got comfortable, giving me an awkward half-smile, "Hey."

I pulled away from the house, driving at a leisurely pace.

"Can I…" Bella gestured toward the radio, clearly wanting to fill the awkward silence.

I nodded, glancing at her quickly, "Of course."

Bella flicked through the channels, trying to find something to listen to, settling on some generic pop. We sat in silence for a minute, and I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel along to the beat, trying to think of something to say.

"So, your dad's working today then?" I asked, referencing the missing cruiser from her house.

"Yeah, he's working all weekend. He's not used to having someone else in the house. Not that I mind. We don't really have much in common." She laughed awkwardly.

I hummed in reply, not sure how to respond. Thankfully Bella continued.

"Where is it you work? I don't think you mentioned it?"

"Oh, it's the small supermarket in town, Hardings. I don't know if you've been?"

She pursed her lips, thinking, "I don't think so, I've been to the Thriftway, it's just off the highway."

I breathed a laugh, "That would explain the lack of people yesterday." I glanced to her, "I only started yesterday, my mom does all her shopping there, so she managed to get me a job last minute. I was kind of desperate."

She bit her lip, "So why did you decide to come to Forks? Did you just finish college or something?"

I continued my tapping of the steering wheel, though it was less in time with the beat of the music, and more in time with my nerves.

"No, uh. My dad was very sick while I was in High School. Cancer, you know? I was just happy he had made it to my graduation, and after that, I guess I wanted to spend time with him while I could, before even thinking about college or anything like that. He died the next year."

I could see from the corner of my eye that Bella's face had slowly taken a red hue, and she stuttered a reply, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Don't apologise Bella!" I smiled at her warmly, "I don't mind talking about it, it was quite a few years ago now. I guess after that I just never got around to thinking about anything else. I had a stable enough job and I moved in with my now ex -boyfriend. I guess I felt comfortable. And then when my relationship sort of died, I guess I wanted to get away from Alberta. I needed a fresh start."

Bella mulled over my words, her face twisting into a small smile, "But Forks?" she asked unbelievably.

I laughed, feeling the air relax a bit. "My mom lived here when she was a kid, she only moved to Canada after she met my dad. And after he was gone, I guess she wanted to come back. My grandparents had left her their home, so it was easy enough for her. I knew she had a spare room, and well… here I am." I raised an eyebrow at her, "I understand it wouldn't be everyone's first choice." I added teasingly.

Her eyes widened slightly before she smiled. "Don't tell Charlie."

I parked the car outside the small diner. Looking through the windows I was relieved to see it was quiet enough inside. I held the door open for Bella as I walked in, finding us a small table by the window, and a kind waitress approached us, handing us two menus. After a few minutes, we both gave our orders, and I sipped on the tea I now clutched in my hands, warming them from the cold. I looked curiously at Bella over the rim, as she fidgeted with her sleeve.

"So, how about you? Did Charlie drag you here against your will, or...?"

She smiled slightly again, "No. It was my decision."

My eyebrows flew up, as I smirked, "Oh?"

She laughed before continuing, "My mom's married to a minor league baseball player, so he travels a lot for work." She bit her lip, almost uncomfortable with what she was sharing, "I guess, I could just tell my mom wanted to be with him, instead of being stuck in Phoenix…"

"So you moved back with your dad so she could?" I finished for her.

She nodded in reply.

"That was nice of you." I smiled. "And I bet Charlie appreciates you being here, even if he isn't very good at showing it."

"Yeah, I mean I used to come to Forks every Summer until I was fourteen, but the last few years Charlie came to Phoenix, so I hadn't been in a while. Until now obviously."

The waitress brought us our food, and we sat eating in comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet buzz of the room.

"Do you miss it?" I asked. "Phoenix?"

Bella nodded vigorously, "Oh yeah. I feel like I haven't seen the sun since I got to Forks. I miss the heat." I held back a laugh. Of course, the one thing that would warrant such enthusiasm from Bella was the weather. "And, God, the rain! Everything here is just so wet, and cold. How does anyone here sleep? It sounds as though my window is going to cave in, with all the wind. And the fog-" She cut herself off, noticing my shoulders shaking from silent laughter, "Are you laughing at me!"

"I've never heard someone talk so passionately about the weather. I'm impressed, honestly."

"Shut up!" her cheeks flushed red, though she joined in with my laughter. "Well, what do you think?"

"Of the weather?" I asked, continuing when she nodded in confirmation, "I don't mind it, would be nice if it didn't rain every second of the day, but you take what you can get." I smiled warmly, glancing out the window, admiring the canvas of greens and browns, "but gosh if it isn't pretty."

She followed my gaze, tilting her head, "I suppose we can agree on that."

We continued chatting, any awkwardness seeming to have disappeared. When we had finished our breakfast, (which I insisted on paying for; Bella was not amused) and then made our way to the local library. We both quickly realised there wasn't much to see, the library being poorly stocked, and we made plans to travel to Seattle or Olympia to find a good book store, sometime soon.

Checking the time, we decided to head back. I stopped outside Bella's house once more, smiling at her as she opened the door to exit. She turned grasping the door, a nervous smile painting her face.

"I don't know if you've plans or anything tomorrow, but do you and your mom maybe want to come over for dinner? Charlie will be there too, after work."

It was my turn to be surprised and my mouth moulded into a toothy grin, "I'd love to Bella! I think my mom isn't working tomorrow, and I'm sure she'd think it's a great idea! I'll let her know tonight, and give you a text to confirm. As long as Charlie would be happy enough with us crashing his dinner?"

"Charlie can't do more than boil an egg, so he'd be happy with anything put in front of him. And he seems to be friends with your mom, so I don't think he'd mind. As long as you're okay with my cooking. I'm not amazing or anything, but better than my dad, not that that's hard."

I nodded, "No, that's fine. In fact, I'm working the early shift tomorrow morning, so I could grab some stuff before I leave work, and then I can come straight to yours in the afternoon, and we could cook dinner together?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Any ideas on what we should make?"

"Not a clue. I'll wander around the aisles and see what jumps out at me."

"Okay." She smiled, leaning back on her heels, "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then?"

"See you then." I smiled, giving a small wave. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Clara." She shut the door, and I watched her retreating form as she walked up the steps of her porch and entered the house.

I pulled away, and began the short journey to work, giving myself an invisible pat on the back.

"Well, that went well.."

I was early arriving to work, so I just hid in the back office, enjoying the short amount of free time. I shifted in the uncomfortable chair tapping my pencil off of the quick sketch I had conjured up in my well-worn notebook. It was the man from my dream the night before, though I was struggling to put his features down on the page. There was an unshakeable frustration I felt, as I wracked my brain. I had started the sketch over and over, any time I had tried to finish the drawing, something inside my head told me it didn't look right. I didn't know why it got to me so much, usually, I enjoyed exaggerating and changing the look of things, yet this one I needed to be just right.

He was tall, that much I was sure of, and his hair fell in perfect messy curls, though I couldn't remember the colour. I tried sketching the eyes, yet they never seemed to be in the right shape. I blew out a breath of irritation, just as the office door opened.

I looked up, smiling as Joe walked in, taking off his coat.

He smiled, "Afternoon."

"Finally decided to show up then?"

"Excuse you," he turned his brown eyes to look at the clock that hung on the wall, "I am two minutes early, that's almost a record." Hanging his coat up, he glanced down at the drawing, "Who's that?"

"The man of my dreams," I said whimsically, teasing.

"Oh wow," he smirked, "very handsome. Sure who needs eyes anyway?"

"Shut up!" I laughed, "Eyes are very hard to draw you know."

"Uh-huh." He pulled his apron over his head, "wouldn't have pegged you as an aspiring artist."

I hummed, "Less aspiring, more… casual, part-time hobby."

"Ah, I see." Joe gestured toward the sketchpad, "May I?"

"Sure," I nodded, handing it to him, "Don't be expecting Picasso level artwork in it. You'll be disappointed."

He glanced at me smiling, before bringing his attention back to the pages, flicking through them. I watched him intently, gauging his reaction. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I was always so nervous about showing off my work.

He looked at me smiling, "These are great!" He said it sincerely, bringing a blush to my cheeks, and a happy grin overtook me. He continued, quirking a brow, "although some of these are really creepy, should I be concerned?" He turned the pad over, showing a drawing of a lonely worn cabin, surrounded by dead trees.

"No," I laughed, "I just really enjoy horror and stuff, makes my imagination run away from me. And thank you!" I took the pad back from him, pushing it back into my bag, rising and straightening my own apron. "Shall we go and relieve Addy from her duties."

"I suppose if we must."

We left the office together, passing Ron as he hobbled his way to his coat. Addy's face lit up as we came toward her.

"There they are. My saviours." She hopped out from behind the counter, stopping before us.

"What're your plans then?" I asked.

"To enjoy a long day of nothing." She smiled a toothy grin. "But while I have you both here. Clear your schedules, Wednesday night, you're both coming to mine, house party!"

"Oh, no way!" Joe grinned.

I shuffled nervously. A house of people I don't know? Terrifying. "I don't know, Addy. I only know you two, wouldn't it be a bit weird?."

"Honestly Clara, you'll be fine!" Addy smiled reassuringly, "We'll stick with you, and really there won't be that many people! Just my siblings and some of their friends."

"Addy's family is loaded, wait till you see the house, it's huge!" Joe threw his arms out as though it would show just how big the building was.

"My parents did us all a favour and have disappeared from the state for two weeks, and I'm planning on taking full advantage."

I quirked an eyebrow, "I take it you and your parents don't get along?"

She rolled her eyes, placing a hand on my arm, "Get me drunk on Wednesday and I'll tell you all about it." Addy winked, before moving past us toward the office.

Joe moved toward the till "You look confused." He stated eyebrow raised.

"The words party and Forks just don't seem to go together."

He chuckled, "It's not a party, per se. More of a small social gathering."

"Is that what Addy tells her parents?"

"I doubt Addy even says hello to her parents."

"Mommy issues?"

"Mommy issues, daddy issues. Everything issues."

"Can't wait to drunkenly hear all about it." I tapped on the counter. I looked at Joe, feeling his eyes on me. "What?" I laughed.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to, you know."

"Oh, no I do. I guess I'm just surprised to be invited."

"Why?" His brows furrowed.

"I mean, you all barely know me." I bit my lip, "I don't want her inviting me just because she feels she has to."

He shook his head in amusement, looking at me sincerely. "Trust me, if Addy didn't want you to go, she wouldn't have invited you. Why do you think Ron wasn't invited." He nodded toward the old man, shuffling toward the door.

I laughed quietly, making Joe grin. I lifted my hand in a wave, "Bye Ron!" I shouted. The elderly man grunted in reply.

Joe tutted, "A man of many words if you couldn't tell."

"Working with someone who doesn't constantly talk and make bad jokes. Sounds pretty nice." I held back a laugh at the fake shock that overtook Joe's face.

"I'm hurt. I thought we were becoming friends?"

"Did you now?" I cocked an eyebrow, walking away from him, toward the stockroom. "How disappointing for you," I smirked.

"And my jokes are funny!" He shouted from behind the counter.

I giggled, before entering the stockroom and officially beginning my shift.

Joe, I quickly realised, was a lot more relaxed and laid back in comparison to Addy, who was prone to getting easily stressed and had little to no patience for anyone who didn't merely get their stuff and go.

I liked to think I was somewhere in between.

It was strange how quickly I seemed to fit into their little group. In Alberta, I never really had many friends outside of Nick and his social circle. And Alice of course, but I try not to think about that.

I had to admit, it left a warm feeling in my chest. It was nice to have, well almost, friends, people who didn't know me as the weird mermaid girl or the sad dad-with-cancer girl. And I hadn't been to a 'social gathering' in years. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. How exciting. I felt like a teenager again.

Joe and I stayed until 8:00 PM, locking up the shop, and driving our separate ways.

The next day was much duller until the afternoon. I worked with Ron, who true to Joe's word, wasn't a talker.

I had texted Bella to let her know my mom was looking forward to dinner and informed her we'd be making Chicken Casserole and boiled potatoes.

I gathered the ingredients, bidding Joe goodbye as he took over my shift, and headed back home. Parking up outside the house, I ran inside quickly to see my mom and then hurried across to the Swan residence, arms full of bags.

"Hi."

Bella opened the door wider, letting me into the house. It was much the same as my own I noted, as I moved into the kitchen, unloading the ingredients.

"How was work?" Bella asked as she followed after me.

"Boring. Please, let's talk about anything else." I said, desperation leaking into my voice.

She laughed, moving closer to look over everything I had brought. We chatted whilst we began preparing our meal, delicious smells filling the air, bringing my hunger to the forefront.

"You're really messy, you know that?" Bella knelt cleaning up the mess I had made, causing me to flush with embarrassment.

"Sorry," I smiled sheepishly, "I try to avoid cooking around my mom, it drives her insane. I just get so caught up in what I'm doing, I sort of, zone out."

She shook her head in amusement, rising from the ground. I moved to the oven, opened it and slid the casserole. I washed my hands, before turning and leaning against the counter. I rang the towel in my hands, looking at Bella.

I tutted, "You know, I never asked you how your first week at school was. So I'll remedy that now," I smiled, "How was your first week?"

Bella let out a breath, "Um… as expected I suppose, being the new girl. Everyones been nice enough, though they do seem to stare a lot."

"Stare?"

"Yeah, you'd think I was some sort of zoo animal or something."

I snorted. I did not miss high school.

"Any friends?"

"Yeah, I guess, some people I have classes with, and can sit with at lunch."

"Not bad, I'm sure it'll get easier. The awkward getting to know people stage is always the worst." I smiled slyly, "Any boys, caught your eye?"

She chuckled uncomfortably, "No way, no one I'm interested in."

She tried to play it off, but Bella wasn't a very good liar, and the blush that plastered her pale cheeks, didn't help. She bit her lip, before continuing hesitantly.

"Although, there was this one guy. Edward "

"Uh-huh. And Edward ... Is he pretty?"

She let out a humourless laugh, "Gorgeous. And completely horrible."

"Horrible!" I gasped in amusement, "What did the kid do?"

"I had to sit beside him in biology, and almost as soon as I walked into the room he just kept glaring at me. I thought I smelt bad! He sat as far away from me as he could manage."

"What? Why?" I looked at her confused.

"I don't know! When I went to the office at the end of the day, I caught him trying to switch classes!"

"He tried to switch classes?" I stood up straighter, shock clear in my voice. "Just because he had to sit next to you?"

"I don't know. I hadn't even talked to him, so I don't know what I could have possibly done to make him so angry. He wasn't in the rest of the week, and as stupid as it sounds, I can't help but think it's because of me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean his other siblings were in every day, so I can't see it being something to do with family. Not that I speak to them either." She shrugged.

"God, what an asshole!" I said, my face screwing up in annoyance. "That is so bizarre. Hopefully, he was so intimidated by your intelligence that he decided to drop out. That way you get the whole desk to yourself, and never have to see his supposedly 'gorgeous' face again." I joked.

She laughed, nodding, moving to check on the potatoes. "I highly doubt that."

"I do not miss high school." I shook my head.

"Bad experience?"

"Not bad, not good. Just…" I shrugged. "Meh. Anyone who says high school is the best years of your life are either lying or have no ambitions."

Bella, looked to me, with a half-smile, "Do you have ambitions?"

"I have the ambition, to find my ambitions."

Bella hummed, "Does that count?"

"Oh, definitely," my eyes flashed with amusement and we both chuckled. "Do much partying?" I asked, giggling at the look that came on her face. "I'm not snitching for your dad, don't worry."

She shook her head, "No. Partying and all that, it's not really my scene."

"Sensible girl."

"You?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm a party girl. I haven't actually been to a club in like a year. But I must admit, I enjoy a drink or two. Or a glass of wine if I'm feeling fancy." I tapped my fingers on the counter. "I got invited to a house party today… Well, a 'social gathering.'" I did the air quotes with my fingers. "The first since I was in high school I reckon. Feel like a kid again."

"And you say you're not a party girl."

"Maybe I'm going through a midlife crisis, at the age of twenty-three. Drinking and getting down with the kids."

She hummed again. We were both laughing quietly when the front door opened.

Charlie's eyes lit up when he found us together, the air relaxed and comfortable.

"Hey, Dad," Bella said.

"Hey Bells," he nodded toward me, "Clara. Good to see you again."

"You too, Charlie."

"How are you two girls doing then?" he gestured toward the kitchen, sniffing the air at the pleasant aroma filling the room. "Smells good."

I smiled, "Yeah, food shouldn't be too much longer. Suppose this is a thank you for helping with my stuff the other day. And thank you for letting my mom and I crash your evening by the way."

Charlie placed his hands on his hips, "It's no trouble, and you don't owe me anything. Your mom's done plenty for me the last few years, it's only fair I return the favour." He shifted uncomfortably, "your mom, on her way over or…?" He trailed off, glancing around the room.

I narrowed my eyes, a small smile on my lips, "Well, I think she's home at the moment. I was going to run and get her when food was ready. But I can go now if you want?"

"Yeah, I mean. If you think she'd want to. If she's busy that's fine-"

"No, no. I'll go get her now." I turned to Bella, who seemed confused by her father's awkward behaviour, "You mind watching the food?"

"Of course." She smiled.

I quickly ran across to my humble abode, laughing at the sight of my mother lounging on the sofa in her dressing gown, hair in a messy bun.

"Classy."

I made sure to imply that Charlie had requested my mother's slightly earlier arrival, and had to bite my lip to keep from laughing once more when my mom descended the stairs, hair much neater, and with a light layer of makeup on. I just so happened to find a bottle of wine stashed away, that I had definitely forgotten I had, and pushed it into my mother's palms, saying it would be rude to show up at someone's home empty-handed, despite the fact I was one of the halves that prepared the meal.

The evening went smoothly, Charlie and my mom sharing the bottle of wine, deep in their own conversations, whilst Bella and I shared amused looks across the table. The food was a success and I couldn't help but feel proud.

The soft smile on my face couldn't be helped, as I glanced around the table. It was nice, a warmth filling my chest. Life in Forks was better than I could have imagined with only having been here for a number of days, and I, all things considered, hadn't imagined much from the small town.

Things were looking up. What could possibly go wrong?

By Tuesday of that week, I would have my answer.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four - Eat You Alive

He said to me

Child, I'm afraid for your soul

These things that you're after, they can't be controlled

This beast that you're after will eat you alive

And spit out your bones

Eat You Alive, The Oh Hellos

The snow that fell on Monday was a tease for what was to come. I squealed with childish glee when I opened my curtains on Tuesday morning, a layer of snow and ice covering the landscape, the greens and browns of the surrounding forests mixing with a beautiful white fluff.

I lifted my watch from the bedside table, checking the time. 08:00, far too early to be awake on my day off, but my body was like clockwork. My mom was already gone when I walked down the stairs, blanket wrapped around my pyjama covered body. The cold from outside lingered in the air, sending a chill through me. I got myself comfortable on the sofa, a creamy coffee clutched in my hand as the TV played quietly in the background.

I had a day full of free time and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Perhaps a day of some classic horror was in the cards. I just needed the right company.

Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through the contacts, putting it to my ear as the number rang.

"Hello?" a pained groan came from the other end, causing me to let out a surprised laugh.

"Addy? Are you okay?"

Another groan, "Clara? What time is it?"

"Uh… sometime after eight."

"Good God, why are you ringing me so early? Did someone die ?"

"By the sounds of it, you did." I licked my bottom lip, "Wait. Are you hungover?" I exclaimed.

The moan that came from the other end was all the answer I needed.

"Ow! Don't shout." I could hear Addy shuffling around on the other end. "My brother and I ended up in Port Angeles last night, and I had like seven cocktails. Not good."

"Oh my God, I'm hurting for you." I laughed.

"Thanks, I'll take all the pity you can give." She paused, a noise of frustration leaving her. She pulled the phone from her ear, yet I could still hear the shout that left her, " Aaron! Where's the Asprin!"

I giggled again, "How are you planning to do this again, tomorrow night?"

"If I just keep drinking, it'll keep the pain away."

"I'm pretty sure that's how alcoholism starts."

"Well, I am twenty-three. I've got to start sometime."

I hummed, "I can't remember the last time I had a cocktail."

"Well, you're in for a treat then. There will be many tomorrow night, courtesy of yours truly."

"Oh, do you have a secret double life as a bartender?" I teased.

She scoffed, "No, I just have far too much free time." I could hear her gulping down water on the other end. "Why did you call me anyway?" her confusion quickly turned to panic, "I didn't have work today right?"

I laughed again, "No. I was actually calling to see if you wanted to come over and watch some movies, but I see that that is maybe not the best idea, considering your current state."

"Aww!" Addy whined, "A movie day sounds so cute! Why didn't you ask me last night before I made many bad decisions?"

"I should have used my crystal ball to see into the future, to stop you before it was too late."

We chatted for a short while longer before Addy declared she needed to go back to sleep, otherwise, her vision may never stop spinning. I made myself a quick breakfast of bacon, eggs and pancakes, and sipped on some fresh apple juice. I was just settling in to watch 1982's The Thing, when my phone buzzed. Taking a sip from my drink, I looked at the phone, it was a text from my mom. I set my glass down as I read it.

Clara just wanted to let you know that Bella was in an accident involving a van this morning. She's at the hospital at the moment, seems to be okay, but is getting a few tests just to be sure. I'll call you in a bit to let you know what's happening.

I reread the words a few times and then in an instant, I was up the stairs and into my room, throwing on my clothes from the day before. I couldn't wait until my mom rang me, and so I was in my car on the way to Forks hospital, driving as quickly as humanly possible in the icy conditions, which I was now cursing. I was shocked as I pulled up into the parking lot; it seemed as though half of Forks was here.

After spending a few minutes trying to find a parking spot, I rushed into the building, almost running into a crowd of teenagers. "Sorry," I said quickly, moving past them.

I had never been to Forks hospital before, I hadn't had the need, so I didn't even know where to start looking. I tried asking one of the nurses but she simply said I would have to wait with everyone else. Well, I was definitely not going to do that. I Ioitered a few moments until I was sure the woman wouldn't notice me slip by, and then I moved, peaking behind any curtains that I passed.

Where was my mother? And Charlie? More importantly where was Bella, and how did she manage to get into an accident with a Van. Did she fall in front of it? That would be a Bella thing to do.

I knew I was walking aimlessly around the halls, and I felt like Addy, my patience dwindling quickly.

I rounded a corner, and time seemed to freeze. The hallway was practically empty apart from two figures standing at the far end. They were deep in conversation. From what I could see, the first was a man, who couldn't have been that much older than I was, and he was a doctor from the look of his clothing. He was incredibly pale and movie-star handsome, looking down at the second figure with concern in his eyes. It was the other person my eyes seemed to linger on, even from the side, her distant features sent a chill down my spine. The whole thing only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like hours.

I flung myself back the way I had come from, back pressed against the wall, hoping they hadn't noticed me. There is just no way, no way…

Rosalie Hale.

I had to have been imagining things. Rosalie Hale. In Forks, Washington.

No, no, no, no, no.

Black eyes. Deep dark pits of pure horror, the thought of which had me breathing heavily.

PANIC

I pushed away from the wall, and my feet were moving. Where was I going? Away.

Away from her. From danger.

What danger? It was just a woman. A woman with the same perfect golden hair, and perfect features.

I'm going insane. I had to be.

I stopped at the end of the hall, bracing my head against the cool wall. My mind was racing.

Breathe Clara. Breathe. In and out, in and out.

I didn't know how long I had been standing there for, contemplating why I had such a strong reaction over nothing. I jumped, spinning as a cool hand rested on my back. It was the blonde man who had been talking to her.

He looked at me with concern, gold eyes staring into my blue ones. "Are you alright?" He asked, voice gentle, analysing my face. "You're very pale."

I would have laughed at the irony if I wasn't about to lose my mind. 

He continued, moving a hand toward me again, slowly, "Perhaps you should sit-"

"I'm fine." I managed to get out, moving away from him quickly. "Excuse me." I squeaked, turning away from his very confused look, hurrying back through the hallways, around the nurses and curtains, toward the exit. Air. I needed air.

"Clara!" I jumped again, nearly bowling over my much shorter mother.

"Mom. Hi!" I said almost too cheery. Why was I breathing so heavy? It sounded like I just ran a marathon.

"Are you okay?" She looked at me with the same confusion as the man had.

"Yep, I'm great." I was not great. I was confused as to why I was acting this way.

She wasn't convinced, "What are you doing here?"

Why was I here? Oh right. "I came to see Bella. I couldn't find her though."

"I was just with her, she's okay, just needs to see Doctor Cullen, before she can leave-"

"Cullen?" I blinked, my mind going blank.

My mom's eyebrows furrowed, "Yes, Clara." She stared at me, as I continued looking blankly ahead, trying to keep the screaming inside my head from leaving my mouth. "What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" My voice was a pitch higher than normal. "Just worried about Bella!"

My mom opened her mouth to say something, but her reply was cut off by an approaching nurse, muttering to her quietly. My mom sighed, nodding. I felt a shot of sadness shoot through me, and I felt bad. She looked so tired.

Sighing she looked up at me again, a question clear in her eyes, but it went unsaid. "Bella shouldn't be much longer, why don't you go wait with Charlie? He's been pacing about the waiting room since he got here, I'm surprised there isn't a hole in the ground."

The last thing I wanted was to stay in this building, but I couldn't say no to my mom at that moment. Besides, maybe if I act as though everything is fine, it will be.

Doubt it.

I made my way to the waiting room, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I found Charlie pacing just as my mom had said and I didn't know how I had missed him when I had entered the building. Perhaps it was due to the distraction of nearly barreling into a bunch of teenagers, all of which I noted, were still there. Must be the friends Bella had mentioned.

Charlie's face relaxed a little when he saw me walking toward him, "Clara."

"Hi, Charlie, how you holding up?"

"Feel like I'm about to lose it," Same "Have you seen Sally?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I just saw her," I indicated behind myself, not daring to turn around, "she said Bella is absolutely fine, just waiting for Doctor-" I stuttered, clearing my throat before continuing, "Doctor Cullen to give her the all-clear."

"Oh good, that's good. I trust your mom. And Doctor Cullen. Probably the only two people whose word I'd trust." He didn't relax, his stance still stiff, but he had stopped pacing.

I bit my lip for a moment, daring to glance over my shoulder. There were no golden eyes staring at me, so I turned back toward him.

"I haven't heard anything about these Cullen's. Who are they?" I tried to sound calm and collected, as though I didn't really care about the answer.

"They moved to Forks about two years ago. Good people, I never had any trouble with the kids, and we're lucky to have Doctor Cullen here with us, he does a lot for this community. People in this town go on about them, silly gossip." He shook his head, almost looking offended on their behalf.

"What sort of gossip?" I pried, biting my lip.

"I don't know, I never go out of my way to listen to that sort of nonsense. I know Bella said the kids don't really seem to fit in at school, mostly keep to themselves."

"They go to school with Bella?" I felt confusion wash over me. Did Doctor Cullen and his wife adopt even more children? Wasn't five enough? Or was this a different family with the Cullen name?

What is happening?

"Yeah, one of the kids, Edward, he was brought in with Bella-"

"Edward?"

Charlie looked at me through furrowed brows, "Are you alright Clara? You're looking a bit… sweaty." he indicated awkwardly toward me.

I wiped a hand over my forehead, feeling the layer of cold sweat that lay there. I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment. "Yeah. It's just really warm in here."

He looked as though he was about to continue when something caught his eye over my shoulder. I turned following his gaze, landing on a thoroughly flustered looking Bella. Glancing quickly around the room I realised this whole situation was probably Bella's version of a nightmare.

Charlie rushed toward her, and she immediately began reassuring him. Noticing everyone's attention snapping onto her I could see Bella's cheeks reddening. I managed to get her attention with a small hand wave, indicating behind me toward the exit, and she gave me a look of relief, ushering Charlie forward.

I turned to exit the doors, taking a deep breath of fresh air, filling my lungs. I waited for Bella and Charlie to follow me, before turning to Bella.

"Do you have a knack for getting into bother?" I asked.

She grumbled in reply. She looked irritated, turning her eyes to me, "How did you even know I was here?"

"My mom text me, she thought I would want to know. What happened, anyway?" I asked curiously.

"This guy I go to school with, Tyler, he spun out on the ice, the van almost hit me."

"The kid shouldn't have access to a car, he could have killed Bella," Charlie said.

"Dad, stop."

"Wow." My eyebrows raised. "Well, aren't you lucky."

Charlie climbed into the cruiser, watching Bella as though she might break at any moment.

"You okay?" I asked after a moment, watching her closely.

"God, yes I'm fine, I haven't broken anything." She snapped slightly, clearly, she had been asked that question one too many times. She looked exhausted and embarrassed.

"I didn't mean physically. You seem annoyed. Is it that Tyler kid? Do you think he was secretly trying to murder you?" I joked lightly, though Bella didn't laugh.

She paused for a moment at my words, biting her lip, contemplating her words. I could almost see a battle happening inside her head.

I continued, "You can tell me anything Bella."

She ran her hand through her hair, and I noticed her subtle glance toward the hospital. She let out a breath, "I think I should get home." She nodded, "I'm a bit tired."

I continued watching her for a few beats before smiling at her softly, "Okay Bella. I'll text you later, yeah?"

Bella chewed on her lip, looking as though she wanted to burst out with something. She nodded, turning toward the car door.

Before she could open it I spoke once again, "Bella?" I called as she paused, "The Edward guy that came into the hospital with you, was that the one you told me about, the biology one?"

She seemed to pale a little at the mention of his name. "Yeah, Edward Cullen. He stopped - well he pulled me out of the way of the van." She stuttered out. "It all happened really fast."

"Oh okay." I nodded. I didn't know what to say. "Well, I'll see you later Bella. I'm glad you're okay."

"Yeah." She got into the car, and I watched, giving a small wave as Charlie pulled out of the parking lot.

My smile dropped. Shooting a nervous look toward the hospital I walked quickly to my car, getting in and locking the doors.

Okay… okay. Let's think for a minute. I stared out of the front window, holding the steering wheel so tight my knuckles grew white.

What did any of this mean, why was I freaking out.

A memory came over me. Seven years ago, mouth full of braces, baking brownies in the kitchen with Alice Cullen. Sixteen, and full of crazy conspiracies about werewolves and mermaids and Vampires.

I shook my head, starting the engine. I needed to get away from here. I drove far quicker than I should have considering the icy conditions. Once I was inside my house, I made sure every door was locked, and every window closed.

It wasn't until I sat in a rather-too-hot bath that I realised how crazy I had reacted. I glanced at a woman who may have been someone I went to school with seven years ago, to whom I was more than certain I never spoke one word. The name of a family uttered, one that I hadn't heard for a long time, outside of my own thoughts.

And I ran away as though there was a monster out to get my throat.

I buried my face into my hands, cringing with embarrassment. I was not sixteen anymore. I promised myself I would give up the foolish notion that the Cullens had a secret, a monstrous one, that involved fangs and coffins, a strange coping mechanism for the mess that was my life.

It was the shock. It had to be. The mysterious circumstances surrounding their sudden departure from Alberta, Canada. The cutting off of my best friend, and a very strange exchange with a set of twins. The Cullens ticked all my boxes, a mystery-thriller novel in the making, one that I wanted to read and consume, analysing every twist and turn until the truth came to light at the climax of the story.

But this isn't a novel. These are real people, with real lives. And sure, there was no denying the Cullen's were weird . However, speaking from my own experience, I should know that just because someone has a reputation for being strange (like I did), doesn't mean that there is a dark secret to uncover.

And that is what I had fully committed to a few months after they had left Alberta, gone from my life forever. Apparently forever wasn't permanent. And if this really was the same Cullen family, then there were definitely some things that didn't make sense.

I pushed some of the bubbles around the tub, biting my lip. There was no harm in analysing the situation at hand, just for my own sanity. I couldn't spend the rest of my time in Forks running around like a scared animal.

Okay, let's break this down.

According to Charlie, Doctor Cullen and his family moved to Forks two years ago. From where I wasn't sure .

My whirling mind screamed that said doctor was the blond man who had touched me with his cold hands. The gold eyes were a giveaway. God, what was his name again? Something beginning with C I think ?

So the doctor moved to Forks along with his wife… who was his wife? I tapped the side of the tub, eyes narrowing in concentration. Wait, wait, WAIT.

Oh, I'm so stupid! How did I not realise? It had to be Esme! The woman who I talked to while Addy dealt with a frozen yoghurt problem.

Obviously, dummy. Gold-eyes, 'quite the family', a doctor for a husband? Tick, tick and tick.

God, how did they both look so young? Note to self, ask Esme for skincare tips.

Okay so, if the man I spotted at the hospital, WAS, in fact, daddy Cullen, then perhaps that woman was Rosalie. Granted I didn't get a good look at her, and my memories of them were pretty fuzzy for the most part, apart from those eyes. A shiver ran through me again, and I sank deeper into the hot water.

Why would Rosalie still be living with her adoptive parents? Was she visiting? Surely Emmett and her, (who I vaguely remembered being a thing) would have moved away somewhere, together? Or maybe things between them ended, and she had nowhere to go?

But then what about Emmett? He was their son too? I wrinkled my nose slightly. God their relationship was so weird.

Speaking of adopted children, how many did they have? It simply wasn't possible for the Cullen kids I went to school with to be the same ones that Bella was currently attending Forks High School with.

But then…

Edward. Bella's biology Edward; asshole, weirdo, Edward Cullen . The boy who skipped school all because one Isabella Swan sat next to him.

He had been in the hospital too apparently, though I hadn't seen him, thank God. Bella had said he pulled her out of the way-

My forehead wrinkled, almost like a sign that I was thinking. Running over the conversation again, Bella had said something else.

'Edward Cullen. He stopped-'

Stopped what? The van? No, don't be stupid Clara. And yet… Bella definitely seemed as though she was holding something back. Put a pin in that.

What was Edward even doing in high school though? Charlie had referred to all of the adoptees as kids, implying they had not yet hit adulthood. The Edward Cullen I knew would definitely no longer be a kid, much less a teenager.

None of them would be, not Edward, or Emmett. Not scary Rosalie or Alice-

Alice.

For a moment my head cleared of all my musings, forgetting the weirdness of the situation. If this really was the same family, would that mean Alice would be here? My heart filled with warmth, butterflies in my stomach. Could I see her? Would I want to see her? Would she want to see me?

I was overcome with emotion, sad and scared, the fear of rejection running through me, the fear of getting my hopes up only to be let down once more. I tried so hard in the months following the Cullen's disappearance, to forget about her, to block out the happiness and comfort she had brought me as my teenage mind tried to deal with the fact that I would soon lose my father. That's why I never spoke about her to my parents, why I brushed off my aunt and uncle when they queried where they had gone. I wanted to pretend she didn't exist. It was easy enough when the small town's attention fixated on the next big drama, and soon the Cullen's were never spoken about, ghosts in the wind.

I leaned my head over the back of the bathtub, letting out a tired frustrated breath. Forks was supposed to help clear my head. My head was officially not cleared.

I paused, mulling everything over.

Oh, I'd forgotten about Jasper. Handsome, blonde, Jasper who had constantly looked as though he was screaming on the inside, who had saved me from his evil twin. Christ, he had nice hair-

Wait.

I sat up straight, eyes widening. I thrust myself out of the tub, almost slipping on the floor, as a large wave of water followed me over the side. I hastily wrapped the towel hanging over the rail around my body, glad that my mother wasn't home as I was certain I would have flashed her. Wet footprints followed me into my room, as I scrambled through my bag, pulling out my sketchbook.

I sat on the end of my bed, not caring about the wet patch that was slowly building beneath me. I flicked through the pages, stopping on the one unfinished drawing. I stared at my dream man for a few beats, before setting it down beside me and rushing across to my desk. I reached for a pencil, not caring as the pencil holder fell over, the contents spilling out. Retaking my spot on the bed, I grasped the pad again, searching my memory for that face. The pencil moved with a quick, sure movement as I filled in the missing features, fixing the drawing. A minute later I threw the pencil away, barely noticing the clatter as it fell to the ground. I stared at the finished sketch, small water droplets marring the page as they fell from my hair which curtained my face.

Well, shit.

I had dreamt of Jasper Hale. There was no doubt in my mind. The drawing was finally complete, perfect.

Why am I such a weirdo?

How did I not notice before? Granted I couldn't really remember the dream after I had awoken, just a vague fuzzy image of someone. But still, now that I knew, it had been so obvious this whole time.

Why am I such an idiot? An oblivious idiot.

Why was it so important that I realised who this was? Why did I even dream about Jasper Hale after so many years?

Golden eyes. My most vivid memory of Jasper were those curious mesmerising eyes.

And that same day, before the dream I had met Esme Cullen. Perhaps something triggered in my brain, though I was still confused. How did I not put two and two together sooner?

How did I not realise?

Or maybe I did? Maybe somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I knew. It was like the dream was telling me to wake up, notice what's right in front of you. Maybe I didn't want to notice. I had spent so long blocking certain things from my memory that perhaps I unconsciously ignored the signs.

My head was giving me a warning. They were here. He was here.

Or maybe, I was going insane and was having a weird fantasy of Jasper Hale. That works too.

The longer I stared at the drawing the more I began to feel like a creep. I cringed in embarrassment once more, feeling as though I was creating another story about this mysterious family. I was going to get myself into bother again.

And yet... a small thrill of excitement ran through me. I hadn't dug deep into a mystery for so long. I just had to know what the answers were to all my questions, even if they were normal and logical.

A few hours later, I sat at my desk, fully clothed, hair dry. In front of me on the desk was the drawing and a piece of paper. I scanned my eyes over the words:

To do list :

- Find out daddy Cullen's name

- Quiz Bella on the Cullen children

- How are they still in High School if it's the same ones?

- Alice.

- See what Addy knows, (Also find out where she lives for tomorrow night)

- Ask Bella about the van incident, and biology Ed

- Buy a new cross

- Does mom have garlic?

- THE CULLENS AREN'T VAMPIRES CLARA

- Or are they…?

- Is Rosalie a demon?

- Question my sanity

- WHY DID I DREAM ABOUT JASPER HALE?

I tapped my fingers on the page, knowing if my mother walked in she would freak out at my insane ramblings. I was waiting for her to come home, so I could question her about dear old Doctor Cullen. Unfortunately, disappointment was my only friend that evening.

My phone buzzed and I hurried to answer it, "Mom. When are you coming home?"

"Well, hello to you too, Clara-bell.I was just calling to tell you that I won't be home till late. Some girls from work invited me for some drinks, so I'm going to get dinner out tonight. Is that okay?"

I wanted to say no, you need to come home, but she sounded so hopeful, and the tired look on her face flashed through my mind. "Yeah, sure mom." I tried to sound as cheerful as possible.

"Okay great! There are some leftovers in the fridge from last night if you don't feel like cooking." She paused, before continuing hesitantly, "Are you feeling okay? You seemed a bit off earlier in the hospital."

I sighed, "Yeah mom, sorry. Just got really nervous with all the people and was worried about Bella. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well, okay, if you're sure. I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Wait, mom!" I rushed out, "Can I ask something?"

"Of course, sweetheart." She answered, curious.

"I was just wondering," I tried to sound casual, "you know Doctor Cullen right?"

"Carlise? Yeah, I mentioned him before didn't I?"

Carlise. A name beginning with C. Tick.

"Uh, yeah, I think so. What does he look like?"

"Uh…" I could hear the confusion in my mom's voice, and I waited with growing anticipation, "Well... I suppose most people would say he's very handsome. Blonde hair...-"

"What colour are his eyes?" I prompted.

"… he has very strange eyes, almost like a yellowy-brown colour I suppose? Why? Did you see him today?" Her voice turned almost suggestive and I could practically see the smirk growing on her face.

"Yeah, I think so." I nodded, even though she couldn't see me.

I was right! Cold handsome doctor man, was Mr Cullen.

"Well, don't get your hopes up," she laughed, "he's very married, and as loyal as they come."

"Ew mom, stop. I was just curious."

"Uh-huh," she continued laughing, "As much as I would love to gush with you over Carlise Cullen, the girls are waiting."

"Ugh, just go. Enjoy your fancy dinner and drinks."

I spent the rest of the evening unsettled and pacing, my eyes constantly flickering to my unopened lore books that sat in my bookshelf.

No. I would not start that. Not without definite proof, it was them. And how would I get that?

I needed to see them. I would not be satisfied until I did.

And I knew just how to go about it.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five- One Way or Another

One way or another, I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

One way or another, I'm gonna win ya

I'll get ya, I'll get ya

One Way or Another, Blondie

I struggled to sleep that night, my mind never able to settle the thoughts that consumed me. I was up at the crack of dawn on Wednesday morning, pacing about the living room as quietly as possible. My mom had the day off, and after all of the wine she had drunk the night before she wouldn't be out of bed for a few hours.

I kept glancing out of the window, looking over at Bella's house, waiting for Charlie to leave for work. Was my plan a good one? More than likely not, but I was running on excessive amounts of coffee and little to no sleep. My blood was alive with strange anticipation. One part of me was eager to pursue the answers I so longed for, and the other part screamed at me to stay away, it would only lead to trouble, as it usually did.

The resolve I had built up over the years to ignore my supernatural urges had quickly dwindled. Maybe small-town Forks didn't have enough excitement to keep my unreasonable side at bay.

I had a small bag packed, sitting by the front door. After my shift at work, I would be going straight to Addy's for a night of drinking and depending on how the day goes, I'll more than likely need it. That was hours away, however, and I jumped as I watched the door of the Swan residence open. Both Charlie and Bella exited the house, Bella seeming to talk fervently to Charlie, as they came to a stop beside her truck.

I threw the strap of my bag over my shoulder, quickly exiting the house.

"Good morning!" I internally cringed at the overly cheery way my voice sounded and quickly realised the last two people who would want to have an incredibly upbeat conversation, this early in the morning, are father and daughter Swan. I slowed my pace, trying to recover some cool, as I approached them. I smiled awkwardly as Charlie stared at me confused, hands on his hips.

"Uh… good morning, Clara," he said. "You're up early."

I glanced behind him at Bella who was staring at me slightly bewildered, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Be cool, be cool.

"Yeah, I've got work in a bit, early shift, you know?"

"Ah, okay." he nodded.

We stood in awkward silence for a minute, words seemed to fail me. I made eye contact with Bella who raised an eyebrow at me.

Charlie cleared his throat, "Well, we best be off-"

"Wait!" I said too quickly, causing Charlie's eyes to widen. "Are you taking Bella to school?"

They both answered at once,

"Yes."

"No"

They both looked back to each other again. God, they both looked so similar in that moment as they stared stubbornly.

"Dad, I'm fine! I can drive myself to school, nothing's going to happen."

Charlie scoffed, "Forgive me, if that doesn't ease my worries Bells. You were almost killed yesterday, I shouldn't even be letting you go to school. You should be resting."

My eyes flickered to Bella's truck, analysing the dent imprinted on its side, evidence of what had occurred the day before.

"Dad-!"

"I mean, I can take her if you want?" I interrupted. Two pairs of eyes flew to me, as they remembered I was there. "I don't mind," I continued, "I have time before work."

"Oh," Charlie contemplated my offer, "Well, I suppose…"

Bella shot me a frustrated look. I smirked slightly.

"Unless you'd prefer to go with your dad, in the cruiser?" I tried to sound innocent.

Bella's eyes flickered between her father and me. I knew she would hate showing up in the cruiser, it would draw even more attention to the situation than would already be awaiting her at school. At least no one would give my car a second look.

She let out a huff of breath, and I smiled victoriously.

"Okay, fine. But only for today, tomorrow I'm driving myself."

Charlie stared for a beat, before nodding slightly, "Okay. Good, I'll come to pick you up later then?" He seemed satisfied.

Bella followed me over to my car, and we both got in, the closing doors breaking the silence.

"Is spending time with me really that awful?" I asked as I turned the engine on.

Bella leant forward playing with the radio, "I just hate all this attention over nothing. I'm capable of driving myself to school."

I glanced over at her quickly, before pulling the car out on to the road. Charlie had already left, and I took off at a leisurely pace.

"You know, Charlie means well. He was pretty rattled yesterday while he was waiting for you."

"I know," She ran a hand through her hair, "I just wish he would listen to me, rather than just assuming the worst."

"He's your dad. It would be weird if he wasn't even the slightest bit overprotective. My dad was the same." I smiled warmly at the thought, a sad pang hitting me. I brushed it away. "It means he cares. Trust me, that's a good thing."

Bella bit her lip, "I know you're right. And I do appreciate it... It's just annoying." She breathed out a laugh.

I joined in, smiling at her.

She seemed to relax a little, "So why did you really want to drive me to school?"

I feigned innocence, "Can't I t want to spend time with my favourite neighbour?"

Bella's expression told me she didn't believe me. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay?" She watched me curiously.

I pursed my lips, thinking of what to say, "So, what exactly happened yesterday?"

Bella breathed in frustration so I quickly continued, "I just meant- well, yesterday you seemed as though you were going to say, Edward, stopped the van or something?"

Bella didn't respond for a moment, "Did I?" She bit her lip again.

"Yep," I said it with certainty, eyes narrowing slightly waiting for her reaction. She was stiff, tense, working hard to try and come up with something to say.

"I uh-, I mean it all happened so fast, but Edward, he was standing beside me. He pulled me out of the way before the van could hit me."

"What was he doing beside you? Are you two friends now?"

"Well, no. I mean we did talk on Monday, I don't know-" She stumbled over her words, almost sounding more confused about Edward than I was.

I hummed, before moving on, sounding casual, "He has siblings right?"

"Uh… yeah, Edward and Alice, they're juniors." My heart lurched at the name, but I kept my face calm, "Then there's, Emmett, whose a senior. Those three are all adopted by Dr and Mrs Cullen, and then there's the two Hale twins, Rosalie and Jasper. I think Mrs Cullen's their aunt or something. They're seniors too."

Had I entered a parallel universe, were the Cullens never came to Alberta and instead they decided moved to Forks? I could not understand how else a family, with the exact same names, could be in high school, just as they were seven years ago, with me, a now twenty-three year old.

Was I dreaming? Or was this an elaborate joke? Bella's serious expression told me otherwise.

"How old are they?" I spoke out loud shaking my head, and Bella looked at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh… nothing, sorry, forgot the age of high schoolers for a second." It sounded weak even to me, but Bella never said anything. "What're they like?"

"I mean, I've never spoken to any of them other than Edward. They mostly keep to themselves."

Of course, they do.

"They're very…" She thought of what to say.

"Strange?" I offered.

"Yeah. Definitely." She nodded. "Why are you so interested?" I could feel her eyes on me.

I turned and glanced at her, painting what I hoped was a reassuring smile onto my face "Just curious. Heard some things around town about them."

"Oh."

"Charlie said they moved here two years ago right?"

"Yeah, from Alaska."

"Oh right." Interesting. "How long did they live in Alaska for?"

"Uh… I don't know." I could feel Bella's gaze burning into the side of my head. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you know something? About the Cullens?"

I look at her quickly, "Do you?"

"No."

"Well, me either."

We both stared forward, awkwardness filling the air. I let out a breath as I drew closer to the High School. "This is it here?"

"Um, yeah." I saw her nod in the corner of my eye.

There weren't many cars in the parking lot, so it was easy enough to find a spot. I reversed into one close to the entrance, in case I needed to make a quick escape.

"I can wait about for a bit if you want? It's still really early." I looked at her, with a small smile.

"Oh, no, it's okay."

"Are you sure? I have time. Wouldn't feel right to leave you alone." I frowned.

She gave me a half-smile, reaching in to her bag and pulling out a book. "I can find somewhere inside to wait. Honestly, I don't mind, people will start showing up soon anyhow."

I smiled, "Well, okay then. A book's probably, much better company than me anyhow." I laughed, and she shook her head smiling. "Do you want to do something this week? Maybe see a movie?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll text you later, and we work something out?"

"Sounds good." I smiled.

I said goodbye to Bella, watching as she walked up to the entrance of the school, and out of sight.

But I didn't leave. I sat in my car, waiting and watching. More and more cars pulled up to the school, I didn't know what I was looking for, but if it was anything like Alberta, they'd be pulling up in something flashier than all of the rest.

I don't know how long I sat there, watching as every car drove past. It probably wasn't as long as it felt. I noticed the teenagers that had been waiting for Bella in the waiting room of the hospital, as they climbed out of their cars and moved toward the building.

I sighed in frustration, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I shifted uncomfortably in the seat, getting lost in my thoughts. What would happen if they did arrive? What would I do? Do I just leave, or do I confront them?

I paused in my tapping. It was possible they maybe wouldn't remember me, or at the very least not recognise me. While seven years wasn't an exceptional amount of time, it was certainly enough time for me to look different.

I no longer had a mouth full of braces, which used to cause me to embarrassingly spit out my words. I now had shorter hair, which was richer in colour and not in constant tangles, hiding my face. And I was taller. Much taller. I had lost the baby fat around my face, and I had thankfully gotten through the spotty skin puberty stage (though the odd pimple occasionally haunted me). Even my voice had deepened slightly, more mature.

Should I use that to my advantage? Play it as though I was someone else, and I didn't know who they were? They weren't even in Alberta for a full year, and they had moved to a lot of different schools over the years. That's a lot of different faces and names to keep track of.

Would they even show up after yesterday? Something strange had happened, though Bella seemed intent on keeping whatever it was to herself.

I was biting my lip, so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the car that had entered the parking lot until I heard the slamming of the car doors. I jumped from my thoughts and looked up, there were still some people walking toward the school, but I hardly noticed as they walked in front of my vision.

The Silver Volvo was parked a good length away from me, closer to the entrance of the school. Five figures had exited the vehicle. My eye's immediately snapped to Rosalie, despite the distance, I could see clearer now, and there was no doubt in my mind it was her. She curled under Emmett's awaiting arm, his large hulk-like figure leading her toward the school. My eye's then moved on to Alice, who walked beside Jasper, talking amiably, bouncing after the other two. I was scared to blink, worried she would disappear again, just as before. She looked almost same, they all did, it was like looking into a memory. My mind was blank, and I just stared as they walked further away from me. My gaze returned to the car as Edward brought up the rear of the group, the furthest from the school, and the closest to me.

I didn't register what I was doing. No thoughts ran through me, I was on autopilot. It could be the beginning of the end for me, and I wouldn't even have noticed.

I exited my car, and began hurrying toward the youngest Cullen.

Edward paused in his movements, so I stopped walking, though I had yet to speak. From the corner of my eye, I could see the others had yet to notice my presence, but I refused to turn and look at them. I shoved my hands into my coat pockets, as they curled into fists, nails biting against the inside of my sweaty palms.

"Edward?" I called over the light chatter that surrounded us. His family were so far away at this point that they shouldn't have been able to hear us, yet I could see them stop.

Edwards back tensed, before he turned slowly. He was the same, lanky and tall, messy bronze hair. His expression was blank, those gold eyes boring into mine.

And his weren't the only ones. I could feel the four other sets of eyes, burning into the side of my head; the eyes of five predators on my very human form. And I just knew, a feeling in my gut, they were predators.

No turning back now.

"Edward Cullen?" I took a few small steps forward, keeping a good distance between the two of us, but enough to try and hide my fear.

He seemed to hesitate with his answer, looking so intently at me as though he was trying to get into my head, "Yes?" His voice was steady, quiet.

Now what? I have their full attention. The ball was in my court at this moment, so I pressed forward, feigning ignorance.

"I just wanted to thank you." I felt a surge of confidence at the surprise that flashed across his face. I continued, my words sounding casual, "for what you did yesterday."

He just stared at me so I continued, "Bella Swan?" I could see his jaw clench, and if I hadn't been watching him so closely I might not have noticed. "She's my neighbour, so I was worried when I heard she had been in an accident. She told me what you did, saving her life."

I watched his face, gauging his reaction. I couldn't help but think back to what Bella had said -

'Edward Cullen. He stopped-'

Edward's eyes widened slightly, and mine narrowed. Had I said that out loud? I was certain I hadn't yet he reacted as though I had.

"Yes well," his voice had an edge to it, his face cold. "She was lucky I was standing beside her."

"Yeah, I guess so. She had told me about you getting off on the wrong foot on her first day of school. I'm glad you both seem to have made amends, sort of becoming friends. Perhaps I'll be seeing more of you?"

I was bullshitting and I knew it, maybe he did too, but I was desperate. For what, I didn't know. Just some sort of reaction that would confirm everything I had ever thought, to know that I wasn't crazy, despite what people would say.

"I doubt it." His eyes were dark.

I couldn't help but feel a bit smug at his reactions to my words, I felt as though I was cracking his calm persona.

But then-

I don't know what happened to cause it, but a sudden burst of overwhelming emotions clawed over me, into my body, my mind. Doubt, worry, fear. I should be scared, it screamed, and I was. I was looking into the golden eyes of this man, and I couldn't stop the horror that overcame me. My flight instinct was coming to a head, almost against my will. I didn't want to give up and walk away, yet my body could not stay any longer, else I broke down in a panic.

"Well, thanks anyway." I breathed out, almost a whisper, but I knew he'd heard it. I turned walking back toward my car at a fast pace.

"You never told me your name," he called after me.

Turning back around I caught the quickest glance of his family still stood in the same spot as before, having momentarily forgotten that they had been there, so consumed by Edward. I didn't let my eyes linger, despite an urge to stare. I met Edwards eyes again, and this time he seemed to be the slightly smug one, almost as though he knew why I had backed down so suddenly.

"Clara," I said, simply, the short silence that followed, suffocating me.

"Good to know."

It was a threat. I knew it was. A warning that he knew . Knew something.

Whether it was that he was aware of who I was or that I knew what he was, and what he had done with the van yesterday I wasn't sure. Perhaps it was both.

I didn't say anything after his words, turning back around and walking until I got to my car, aware of all the pairs of piercing eyes on my back.

I locked the doors immediately, happy my back was to them as I grasped the side of my car seat, gasping for breaths, tears filling my eyes. And then like someone flicked a switch, the feelings disappeared. I took a few deep breaths, steadying my lungs, my heartbeat slowing to its normal pace. Confusion filled me.

What just happened?

I had never experienced anything like it.

I couldn't stop to think, though, despite my calmer state, I still felt the urge to get out of there. I started the engine, preparing to drive away. I risked a look in my rearview mirror, knowing they would be directly in my line of sight. Edward was now standing by his siblings, all of whom were gathered around him talking quickly, fiercely, occasionally glancing in the direction of my car. All except Jasper.

It seemed as though our eyes had met in the mirror, but he was so far away it shouldn't have been possible. Yet his stare was so blank and intense, unblinking and terrifying. Predator and prey, facing off. He was staring into my soul and I wanted him to stop.

I tore my eyes away and turning on the engine, revving the car. Then I paused.

They had all wanted to scare me. Rosalie, Edward, and Jasper.

And I was. I was terrified, more than I'd ever been. More than when Rosalie Hale looked at me with her murder eyes. More than the day my dad never woke up, and I realised I would never hear his voice again.

Perhaps it was the sudden anger I felt at both this family and myself for allowing such fear to consume me, or perhaps it was the still lingering hurt from Alice disappearing and abandoning me (despite it probably being a result of my own actions).

But, I'd be damned if I would let them have their victory so easily, and I wasn't going to let them run away again. If my mom was here, she would be embarrassed, scolding me for what I was about to do, for acting in such a manner. It was petty and childish.

Unlike me, however, my mom didn't know there was a family of what was most likely vampires living in her home-town. And I always had to push things, push until the trouble was right on my doorstep, and it was too late.

I leaned over winding the windows of my car down, before rifling through my dad's old collection of 80's CDs, putting one into the CD player.

My ears protested as I turned the radio up as loud as it could go. I smirked as I looked in the mirror at the variety of shocked expressions from not just the Cullen's, but the remaining students that were hurrying into the school building.

I revved the engine a bit louder than before, pulling out of the parking lot as Blondie's voice screamed out the words of ' One Way or Another.'

I was surprised I wasn't run off the road by an angry rogue vampire.

I, Clara Miller, am such a dumbass.

I'm so going to get eaten.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six - I'm A Mess

Oh I'm a mess right now

Inside out

Searching for a sweet surrender

But this is not the end

I can't work it out

How?

Going through the motions

Going through us

I'm a Mess, Ed Sheeran

It didn't take long for any smug feelings I had to disappear, once I realised I was late for work. I cursed as I pulled up to the parking lot, grabbed my bag, and rushed inside.

"Joe!" I hurried up to the till, as he looked up, surprise on his face.

"Where have you been-" he started, looking panicked.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry! I just got so caught up… what?" I watched him confused as he began shushing me.

"Marian's here." He whispered furiously, "She's been looking for you all morning!"

"Oh, no. Where is she?"

"In the back office I think, I've been telling her you're in the stock room, but she's been in and out of there about three times. She may be stupid, but I'll be very surprised if she hasn't caught on I'm bullshitting at this point."

"Oh," I moaned, "I can't get fired. My mom will kill me."

"Calm down-" He rolled his eyes.

"Joe!" I didn't need to see her to know that had been the voice of Marian.

I snapped my eyes to Joe's, scowling as I watched him hold back a laugh. He shooed me quickly in the opposite direction, and I moved as quickly as possible down one of the aisles, as Marian's impatient footsteps, approached Joe.

"Joesph, why is the cod-liver still in boxes? I told you and Addy to put them out before I left."

"No, one eats cod liver, Marian."

"I do!"

I snickered, as I listened to their bickering, looking quickly toward the tills, before slipping into the office. I threw my coat up onto a hanger and slipped my apron over my head. Peaking around the office door, I closed it quietly behind me, making my way into the storeroom.

It was dark and quiet. I took a moment to breathe, leaning back against the door. The adrenaline that had filled me less than twenty minutes ago was long gone, and I counted to ten, breathing in and out at an even pace. I had not quite come to terms with what had happened. How could I possibly wrap my head around it, around them ?

I closed my eyes and groaned. Why did I have to make a scene! I might as well have just written fresh meat on my forehead and throw myself to the wolves. Or in this case vampires.

Are they though? The assumption kept running through my mind, every time I imagined them in my head they took the form of blood-sucking demons, fangs and all.

But I didn't know for sure. I needed proof.

How does one get proof that a supernatural story is a reality?

I opened my eyes, gazing around the stock filled room. Work. I needed to work, and some time to think.

Anxiety filled me. Whatever the Cullen family was, they seemed dangerous, liars, maybe even unpredictable. And both my mother and Bella were in direct contact with members of said family. I had the sudden urge to rush into the office and make some phone calls, but I stopped myself.

They would be fine.

I bit my lip. I would just go about my day, as normal, pretend I don't know any more about the Cullens than anyone else.

Easier said than done.

I rifled around the stock stockroom for a minute until I found what I was looking for. Composing myself, trying to push the stares from my mind, I left the room walking back toward the front of the store, where Joe and Marian still stood.

I held back a snort at Joe's exasperated face, as he leant his head on his hand. He blew out a breath.

"Joseph!" I said feigning shock. Marion's hawk-like eyes turned to look at me. "Why is all the cod-liver still in the storeroom! You know it needs to be out! Shame on you and Addy!"

Joe scowled at me, as Marian watched and looked me up and down, appraisal in her gaze.

I plastered a fake smile on my face, showing every tooth, "You must be Marian! I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were here or I would have come straight out to find you."

She eyed me, "Joe said you were in the storeroom but I couldn't find you in there."

"Oh," I nodded, seriously, speaking in what I hoped was a convincing tone, "I was just really deep in there, you know. Really working hard."

She smiled, "Well, it's good to know we've someone else around here with some sense. Settling in well?"

"Oh yes," I flashed a smile again, "I'd love to stay and chat, but I really should get these out!" I shook the box slightly.

"Oh of course!"

I turned quickly, walking around the store floor, looking for a spot to shove the small cans onto. I settled myself into a mundane day of stacking, taking as long as possible, and walking back and forth to the stock room. I laughed when Joe walked past me, whispering 'kiss ass' from the corner of his mouth.

The upside of having shown up late meant there was a little less time to spend on work. Marian left soon after I had arrived, reassured that everything was in order. I was relieved that I didn't have to deal with her on top of everything else spinning through my mind; that would be another day's problem.

I managed to keep relatively sane, right up until the point a (probably) vampire walked up behind me.

"Hello again, Clara."

I paused, two of the three tins I had clutched in my hands, falling to the ground. I looked up into Esme's kind smiling face and continued to stare in silence. I'm pretty sure I was sweating profusely.

"Hi." I clutched the tin in front of me, as though that would somehow protect me.

"Are you alright?" She was concerned. Why was she concerned. Esme Cullen was polite and kind and didn't glare at everyone, like some other members of her family. It was almost more unnerving than the glares.

Is this how I die?

"Uh… yes, I'm fine." I squeaked. I held out the can to her, "Cod-liver?"

Esme looked to the can, then back to me confused, an amused smile growing on her face.

"Jesus, Clara, are you trying to kill her." Joe appeared behind me, causing me to jump. He pulled the can from my grasp. "Don't take anything she offers you, Esme, she's evil."

"Oh, stop your crying." I rolled my eyes, taking the tin back from him, and tossing it into the box.

Esme laughed softly, the smile on her face almost infectious. I had to fight to keep a smile off my face.

She's probably here to eat you.

I took advantage of Joe's casual chatter, to rise from the ground and take the cod-liver box back to the stockroom, ensuring I closed the door fully behind me. I spent far too long in the cold room but was pleased to find the golden-eyed beauty gone by the time I came back out to the store floor. Before going back to any sort of work, I made sure to stuff my pockets full of garlic, putting some extras into my bag, to take home.

I was jumpy for the rest of my shift, eager to leave. As I drove toward Addy's, Joe kept complaining about the garlic smell, and couldn't decide on a radio station.

"You're very annoying," I grumbled as the channel changed once more.

"I prefer to say I'm charming."

"Is that what your mother told you?"

"Wow, I am not okay with these attacks." He placed a hand on his chest. "You're just jealous you don't have this level of charisma."

I barked out a laugh, "you're not wrong." I pursed my lips, "where am I going again?"

Joe hummed, "you're going in the right direction, keep going, once you get over the bridge it's a pretty straight drive for a few miles."

This side of Forks was less populated and the houses were much bigger. I followed Joe's directions, watching as the trees grew denser, and the distance between houses grew wider.

After crossing the bridge, I drove for a mile or two, and following Joe's further instruction, I took a right down a smooth paved road. At the end of it lay Addy's home, a large modern building, double red doors under a stone archway, signifying the entrance.

"Holy shit," I said, closing the car door, and hiking my bag onto my shoulder.

"I know, right." I followed Joe as he led the way to the front door. "It's even better on the inside." He pushed the door open with ease.

I felt awkward walking into the far too large home, as though I shouldn't have been there. I was nervous at the thought of meeting all of the new people, my hand aching to reach for one of the bottles of wine I had stashed away in my bag.

Joe was right, the inside was beautiful. The bright wood surfaces and floors were so clean, and the air smelled sweet and warm. I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment as I infected the immediate area with a garlic smell. I promptly emptied my pockets.

We entered a spacious living room, an overly large sofa taking up the space in front of a roaring fire.

Addy jumped from the sofa, glass in hand, a tipsy squeal leaving her lips.

"Finally!" She pulled me into a quick hug, careful not to spill any of her drink.

"God, woman, how many have you had?" Joe laughed, snatching the drink from Addy, downing it in one gulp.

"You shit!" She threw an arm out to hit him, as he danced away from her, laughing.

"Well, now I've got an excuse for another." She turned back to me, grinning and grabbed my arm as she moved to bring me back the way I had just come.

I gladly followed her from the room. I had noticed the small, jovial crowd filling the area, and my palms began to sweat from nervousness. We entered a large kitchen, with sleek marble counters covered with various bottles and pitchers, some of which I assumed were Addy's cocktails.

"What's your poison?" She turned to me smiling.

"Surprise me." I glanced around me, letting out a whistle, as I removed the wine from my bag, placing it beside the others. "This place really is something else."

"Yeah," she laughed, pouring me a drink, "one of the redeeming things about living at home I suppose."

"Do you do this often then?" I thanked her, taking the glass, humming in enjoyment at the sweet taste on my tongue.

"When I can get away with it. My parents are so oblivious that they don't really notice if a bottle or two of something is missing."

Addy informed me of her parent's roles in the timber industry, and her hatred of the perfect image they constantly tried to push on to the world, as she made herself another drink.

As we walked back into the living room I felt my stomach twist with nerves. Every face turned in our direction, but as Addy went around the room, completing all introductions, and the smiles that met me, I felt the fear ebb away, helped along by my alcoholic beverage.

Addy had two siblings, an older brother Aaron, and a younger sister Sophie. All three siblings looked strikingly alike with their curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Alongside the Rowe siblings sat Grace, with smooth dark skin and perfect black curls, a wine glass perched between her fingers, and Kate, fair-haired and loud, empty bottles collecting on the floor beside her.

I sat comfortably beside Joe, making small talk, enjoying the buzz around me, my face filling with heat from the many drinks I continued to consume.

And I drank a lot. Drank to make the fear disappear, to make the paranoia that had plagued me, vanish with each gulp. Yet it seemed like the more I drank, the more I could see the faces of the Cullens in my head, every look on their face in that school parking lot.

"Oh, now listen to this one." Kate pulled another CD from her bag, placed it into the high tech stereo, and pressed play. She drunkenly began moving along with the beat, beer bottle clutched in her hand. "Good right?" she grinned.

She had rattled on to me about her DJing career, which explained the seemingly never-ending CDs she had with her, determined to share every new song she had found.

"Come on Gracie, get up." She held her free hand toward her friend, dancing her way toward her as everyone quietly chuckled at the sight.

Grace shook her head laughing, reluctantly taking Kate's hand. They giggled, twirling each other around the carpeted floor.

"No!" I huffed defeated, throwing the playing cards in my hand to the floor.

"Joseph still reigns supreme! Your game is shocking Clara." Aaron cheered, clapping Joe on the back, as my work buddy grinned victoriously at me.

I grumbled insults under my breath, causing the two men to laugh, as I took another swing of the bottle I was drinking from.

"I tried to warn you, Clara," Addy shrugged, slurring her words, playing her own game of cards with Sophie (who was prone to breaking out in drunken giggles for no apparent reason).

"Yes, yes I know." I leaned my back against the plush sofa, running my finger around the bottle rim. I bit my lip, casting my eyes around the room.

"Any of you hear much about the crash at the High school?" I asked, begging my voice to sound calm.

Grace paused in her movements, looking to me, as Kate continued unperturbed. "Oh yeah, the one with Chief Swan's daughter right?"

"Yeah." I sat up straight, my head spinning slightly.

Grace walked toward me, grabbing her wine glass. Joe and Aaron had begun their own card match.

"Addy was telling me about it earlier." Grace sat across from me, and I turned to look at Addy curiously.

Addy glanced up from her cards, "I saw Esme the day it happened, one of her kids was involved or something, he was okay though."

"Edward," I said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"You live across from the Chief don't you?" She asked, cheering as she one-upped Sophie.

"Yeah, my mom had rung to tell me Bella was involved that morning."

"You know Bella well?" Grace asked, "She moved not that long ago didn't she?"

"Yeah not long before me." I nodded. "She's a nice girl, my mom thought it would be good to spend some time with her, she seems to be having a hard time getting settled in."

"It's Forks," Kate said, finally stopping her dancing, "I don't blame her."

I smiled, before turning back to Addy, "When did you see Esme?" I thought back to earlier, and Esme's warm smile.

"Well considering I had the most horrific hangover that day, I went into town to get as many different pain relievers as I could. She saw me walking when she was on her way home from work and offered me a ride. She gives me a lift sometimes if I'm about town or at the shop."

"Seems a bit out of her way."

"Nah, the Cullens live even further out this way than we do."

"Really? Where do they live?" I cringed, hoping I didn't sound too eager. Thankfully everyone seemed too intoxicated to notice.

Aaron spoke, "a good bit further down the road, it's really easy to miss the turn for it. They live well into the woods."

"Not that any of us have actually seen the house," Joe said.

"The Cullens don't really invite people around," Aaron said, "though that didn't stop mom and dad trying to get acquainted when they first moved."

"That's because mom and dad are nosey and shit."

Aaron put his hands up in defence to Addy.

"People say they're weird," Addy started, "and they are a bit. But Esme has always been really nice to me, so they can have a pass in my books."

The rest of the group continued to chatter with each other, but my mind was whirling. The Cullens lived close by Addy. Off in the woods. By themselves.

I'm not one for breaking the law, but having a look at their house would surely be a good way to suss out what they were. It would also be a good way to get killed if they were as dangerous as my gut screamed.

"Clara?" Grace asked me concerned, "are you okay?"

I looked at her for a moment, head thumping, stomach-churning. Then I was on my feet and running to the nearest bathroom, spilling the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven- I Don't Belong Here

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

Creep, Radiohead

When I awoke on Thursday morning I didn't want to move. My brain felt as though it was going to explode, and with any small movement I made, my body screamed in protest. Why did cocktails have to taste so good? When my eyes opened for the first time, they cringed back against the bright light. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was, sprawled out on the plush carpet of the living-room floor. I groaned, rolling over, away from the light.

Everyone else was in a similar state, except for Grace and Sophie, who like a pair of angels, had prepared the most delicious breakfast, which came with a side of orange juice, painkillers and a hot cup of joe. Addy could barely keep her eyes open, whilst Aaron kept asking if the sun was always so bright despite the sky being rather cloudy. Joe managed to overcome his hangover in record time, shovelling down any food he came into contact with, and going back for seconds and thirds. Kate ran back and forth to the bathroom multiple times throughout the meal, each time she returned insisting she was okay.

It wasn't until late afternoon that Joe and I finally left the house. Once I had left Joe home, I made my way back to my own, greeted by the silence that filled the house. My mom was still at work, something I was relieved to see. I could not handle her teasing with the headache I had. Shuffling my way up the stairs, I fell into my bed, falling back to sleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

And when I slept, I had dreams. The scene in the school parking lot playing over and over in my head like a broken record, the scene soon moving to the Cullen's mysterious residence, which presented itself as a nightmare. Twisted dead trees circling a dark, dingey building, filled with coffins, dead bodies and blood. Lots of blood. I woke shaking, sitting up quickly, much to the dismay of my head. I was too scared to go back to sleep, so instead, I grabbed a pencil and my sketch pad and drew out images from the last few days, almost like a journal. Bella in the passenger seat of my car, fiddling with the radio, the view I had from my rearview mirror of the Cullen's, last night's gathering in Addy's grand house, each figure laughing or singing. And then I sketched out the nightmares, the image my brain had conjured up of the Cullen's home, adding my own details of the horrors I was to expect when I saw it with my own eyes. Like I was preparing myself for the worst.

I sat staring at the faces of the elusive family, my fingers consistently flickering back to that first drawing of Jasper Hale. There was a difference in the way I drew him; in the first, he was beautiful, like a perfect marble statue. In the second his eyes were cold and calculating, it was like two different men, both surrounded by mystery. I was brought out of my reprieve by a text from my mother, informing me she was on her way home to make dinner, and that she had invited both Charlie and Bella over. After informing her of Bella's annoyance at everyone asking how she was after the accident, my mother, instead, decided to make her a home-cooked meal, which was fine by me. Two good meals in one day and I didn't need to lift a finger? Glorious.

With this information, I closed my sketchbook, placing it out of the way. Out of sight, out of mind. I ran a hot bath, submerging myself in the steaming water, feeling every tense muscle in my body slowly fade away. I did nothing but alternate my eyes from the bubbles before me and the ceiling above, enjoying the silence and the heat, pretending for just a while, that all was well, in the rainy town of Forks.

At dinner, my mom, Bella and Charlie all thought they were hilarious, making jabs at my clearly hungover state, 'accidentally' making loud noises, and laughing when I accused them of bullying me. Bella and I were on clean up duty, and as she was drying the dishes, she mentioned how there was a rumour about someone who looked exactly like me having talked to Edward Cullen the day after the accident, before driving off in a very loud fashion. I was glad my mother was too engaged in whatever Charlie was saying to hear what the younger girl had said, and I cringed with embarrassment. I hadn't thought about that. When I made eye contact with Bella, she gave me a knowing look, clearly not impressed by my explanation of wanting to thank Edward.

After a sorry smile, I prompted her, asking if Edward had said something. I wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not by the news that Edward was in fact back to ignoring her again. I let her mutter her irritations at the strange boy, and the attention she was getting around school after the accident. I listened keenly to any information she had to give. It seemed as though something was frustrating her

"Something on your mind?" I asked.

She paused for a moment, before continuing running the towel over the plate in her hand."No, just… been having weird dreams recently."

I looked at her, before turning my eyes back to the sudsy water. "Me too."

We let silence fill the air after that.

Friday morning, I had planned it perfectly.

I had spent the night before in bed reading through any books I had with the word Vampire in it or at the very least something eluding to the creature, ensuring I had refreshed my knowledge as much as possible. I packed a bag with a few bottles of water and some sandwiches and filled my coat pockets with garlic. It took me a while, but after searching through my mom's cupboards I finally found a rather old, worn-out wall cross, perfect for demon fighting.

Donning the sturdiest shoes I owned, and a hat and gloves to fight the nip of the cold January air, I left the house in the early afternoon. My mom was away to work, as was Charlie, and Bella's truck was missing from the drive, meaning she was at school.

Which also meant the Cullen's would be at school.

I hoped.

I could only assume Carlise was at the hospital and Esme was out who knows where.

Please.

I followed the same route I had taken on Wednesday, over the bridge, the rest of the town fading away behind me. I had turned the radio off, the sound too distracting. I had to focus. Focus on the road, my destination, on anything but the intelligent part of my brain that was screaming I was insane.

I stopped near the entrance to the Rowe residence, pulling up on the side of the road. Exiting my car, I scoped the area. The road was quiet, the sounds of the trees rustling in the wind, keeping me on high alert. Hiking my backpack onto my shoulders, I entered the tree line just beside the drive away, moving far enough in that I wasn't completely obvious to spot, but still close enough to the road that I could see it, so as to not get lost.

And so I began to walk.

I kept following the winding road northward, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of movement.

On the night of the house party, after I had finished emptying the contents of my stomach, I tried to pry as much information from the other attendees as I could about where exactly this house was.

That being said, the house wasn't easy to find.

I arrived at a few different driveways, and I walked up to each home, checking the area for any Vampire life.

One large house had an overgrown yet strangely beautiful garden, part of it growing up the walls of the building. An old woman sat outside the front on a cute wooden bench, wrapped up in a blanket. I told her I was new to the area and was hiking to explore Forks. She offered me a cookie.

The next driveway led to a sleek modern home, a well-suited man locking up the front door. He was clearly not one of the men I was trying to avoid, nonetheless, I quickly moved back into the trees. He looked like the kind of person who enjoyed shouting at people.

Even more intimidating was the front gate I walked up to with a ' Beware of Dog' sign hung proudly on the front. I peaked my head over the tall gate and promptly fell backwards onto my backside as the large Rottweiler barked and snapped its teeth at me. It took me no time to scramble as far from there as possible.

After this, I didn't come by another soul.

My feet were aching, not used to all of the walking, and I knew I was sweaty, wishing for nothing more than to be in a shower. But I pressed on, determined. At one point I stopped for a break, sitting on a fallen tree, munching on a sandwich and sipping on my water. I felt surprisingly at home in the forest, the sounds of the woods pleasant to my ears. I yearned to draw my surroundings and regretted not bringing my sketchbook.

As I was walking again, I got so invested in my surroundings that I almost missed it. Just ahead was an unpaved, unmarked road. A twisting barely visible path leading deep into the forest. My mind went back to the night at Addy's. The Cullen's live in the woods, the road easy to miss. Seemed like I was on the right track. Stopping on the road I looked down to where the entrance was. If you weren't aware of where the turn was it would have been very easy to miss. I paused for a moment, once more looking around me, resting my eyes on the entrance. No movement. Not a peep.

I began following the path deeper into the woods, taking my time to keep track of the path. It was clearly created with the intention of throwing off any passerby, someone like me.

The more I walked, the more those ever-present nerves grew, and I had to take off my gloves as my hands began to sweat. I ignored the voice in the back of my head telling me to turn back, that this was the stupidest thing I had ever attempted. Yet my feet continued to move. The trees had been so dense thus far that when they began to thin out and opened into what looked like a meadow, I was shocked.

I took note of the shade that still spilt out over the ground, keeping everything under the branches of the trees in a shadow.

This Included the beautiful three-story faded white house that sat before me. I analysed the building.

It looked old, yet new. Every part of it looked perfect like much care had gone into ensuring it looked exactly as it was supposed to. It was the kind of house one only ever see's on the tv or in a magazine, as most of the houses this side of Forks were. My feet started moving forward.

As I drew closer to the porch which wrapped around the house, I noticed that there wasn't a car in sight, which I tried to take as a good sign, yet part of me still felt paranoid.

Running up the steps to the front door, I peeked in through the window. The area was wide and open, though I could not see much more than that. The entire thing looked like the type of perfection the Cullen's emanated on a daily basis. That gut feeling told me this had to be it. Either that or I'm getting desperate. But who else lives in the middle of the woods with a small meadow as your lawn and a three-story house.

I looked over my shoulder, looking across the front, trying to spot anything out of the ordinary. After a moment, I looked back to the door and hesitantly reached my hand out, grasping the doorknob, and attempting to open it. It didn't budge.

That was both good and bad. That tells me that it seems as though no one was there, but it also meant I wasn't getting in that way.

I moved down the porch slightly, peering into the window again. I placed my hand around the edges, pulling slightly, hoping it would magically open. It did not. I pursed my lips, thinking. This was going to be harder than I imagined.

Or so I thought.

I ventured further along the porch, checking each window as I went, looking for any source of entry. And then like an X marks the spot on a map, I found what I was looking for.

I stopped in front of a window which created a barrier between the outside and the sleek-looking kitchen. As I ran my fingers around the edges of the window, I noticed a gap. Gripping the side I slowly pulled it forward, almost not believing it when the window came closer and closer toward me.

I opened the window until it could go no further, slowly letting my hands fall away. And then I just stared at it.

Was I really about to do this? Every thought I had urged myself to ignore came flying to the forefront of my mind. I was about to break into a house. About to break the law. What if I got caught? What would Charlie say if he rolled up in the cruiser to arrest me? What would my mom say? Yet again I'm reminded of how much I push the line of what I should and should not do. What if this wasn't even the house I was looking for and I was about to rifle through a stranger's private abode.

And yet…

My blood boiled, it told me to listen to that feeling in my gut. The one that said there was something here, go take a look.

And so I did.

Instinct drove me, any thoughts of doubt instantly vanished. Thankfully the window that opened was just the right size for me, and I carefully pushed myself through it, feet touching down on the pristine countertop, and then down to the kitchen floor. I felt like a ninja or some sort of hunter, and a thrill ran up my spine. I tried to be as quiet as possible, in case someone decided to show themselves (Though what I would do if that happened, I didn't know).

You could hear a pin drop.

I took in the room. The kitchen was the die for, everything state of the art, and perfect, almost like it has never been used. I lightly ran my fingers along the countertop, a serene sort of peace coming over me. Curious I moved forward and opened a cupboard.

Empty.

I opened another, and then another.

All empty.

The fridge, empty.

Freezer, empty.

There was no way the trolley full of food Esme had bought two days ago had been completely consumed already.

There weren't even any plates.

That's a red flag if ever I saw one.

Granted, there wasn't exactly a fridge full of human blood, but having nothing at all?

Vampires don't need to eat.

I continued through the first floor, past the long grand dining table. Walking toward the door I, changed direction slightly, approaching the Grand Piano that sat on a platform. I ran my fingers carefully over the white keys, pressing one down lightly, the sound elegantly playing through the room.

I wonder who is so musically inclined.

Looking past the piano, into what looked like a living room, with its looks like-new carpet, and a perfect fireplace in keeping with the style of the home, I moved toward the back taking in the view with awe. The wall had been replaced entirely by glass, giving the perfect vision of the lawn and river flowing softly down below, under the shade of the trees. It felt tranquil and a sort of peace flowed over me. I could get used to a view like this.

After a few minutes of enjoying the image before me, I headed up the stairs to the first floor, honey-coloured wood surrounding me, and I contemplated why a house of vampires would have a wall full of glass. Vampires and sunlight aren't supposed to mix, yet I couldn't quite figure out how the Cullen's walked around without it affecting them.

Add it to the list of mysteries.

I carefully opened the first door at the top of the steps, pushing it cautiously, peaking around the edge to check for anyone lurking in the shadows.

The room was large and lush. I walked slowly around the room, taking in the large four-poster bed that lay against the back wall, curtains curling around the posts. A plush love-seat sofa sat at the end of the bed, facing a large TV which hung on the wall. A number of contemporary paintings were nailed to the light pink walls, and all along one side was a built-in wardrobe, which when I peeked in, was full of very expensive-looking clothing. A vanity table was neatly covered in some of the most expensive makeup I had ever come across.

I blew out a whistle.

Whoever's room this was, they clearly enjoyed a classy lifestyle.

Ensuring the room was left as I had found it, I closed the door carefully behind me. I moved on to continue exploring the home, feeling slightly more relaxed than before.

The next room I walked into looked like a personal study. The walls were a dark forest which complimented the dark hardwood of the floor. The room was very dark, the windows covered with long floor-length curtains.

Using the natural light from the hall, I found the light switch and flicked it on. A warm glow filled the room, and I found it inviting, the wood-like smells of the room enveloping me, inviting me in. It wasn't a large room, but it felt as though it was exactly as the occupant wanted it to be. An antique-looking desk sat at the far end of the room, facing the door, neat stacks of papers and books sitting atop it. To the left, stood a wall-length bookshelf, full of various different types of reading materials, many, I noticed, being in history and philosophy. It was true the Cullen's were known for their intelligence when I attended school with them, so it was no surprise that their house would be full of such books.

If this is their house...

I ran my fingers along the spines, savouring the sturdy yet delicate feel. I pulled one out and flicked the pages quickly, taking in the smell. I had always loved the scent of a book, new or old. I could also tell that whomever's possessions I was currently riffling through, took much care in looking after them.

I glanced around quickly before letting myself fall into the soft but firm armchair which was housed opposite the books.

I bit my lip smiling enjoying the comfort of the room. To my right, I noticed what I assumed to be a badly carved wooden horse rested atop a small side table. Snorting a laugh, I picked it up, rolling it around in my hands. On the underneath, I could make out an EC carved into the wood.

EC?

Edward Cullen? Or Emmett, maybe? Interesting…

I placed the object back, and promptly exited the room, turning the light off as I went.

I entered another bedroom, though there wasn't as much to take in. It was bright and white, plain yet classy. There was a faint smell of something floral, helped by the vase that sat on a small coffee table, and there was a wardrobe full of expensive but simple clothing. What stuck out to me the most, something that differed from the last, was the fact there wasn't a bed.

There was a sofa, everyone in this house seemed to have one of those.

But equally, there are no coffins. No blood or dead people, or cobwebs and bats.

Hmmm…

It was the same for the next room; a beautiful lilac sofa a white knitted blanket draped over the back of it, on one side, and another vanity table pushed against one wall, which had many different kinds of jewellery on display, more than I had ever owned in my life.

I near fell over in shock at the sight of the walk-in closet which was bigger than the room itself. It seemed as though there was a different outfit for every day of the year. I fawned over the shoe collection, wishing I could grab a pair to bring back with me.

As I left the closet I was hit with a sudden sense of Deja Vu. The room smelt sweet and familiar, like a comforting hug. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and something in my stomach twisted like I knew an answer but couldn't quite remember what to.

I shuffled toward the door when something caught my eye. I hadn't noticed it when I first entered the room.

On the sofa sat a neatly folded piece of paper. It looked old and slightly worn, as though someone forgot to throw it in the trash. Yet it was so perfectly placed, perfectly folded, it felt as though it was meant to be there, that I was meant to find it.

Automatically I moved forward, and carefully picked the paper up with my fingers. I unfolded it, unsure of what I would find.

I almost dropped it.

It wasn't anything scary to look at in the traditional sense. It was an average drawing of a daisy. What got me was the signature in the bottom corner.

My signature.

Dated 1998

All of a sudden it was as though I was thrown back to being my sixteen-year-old self, practising drawing flowers in the lunchroom whilst Alice Cullen watched, encouraging me, even when I thought they were no good.

I choked up.

With just a look at this drawing of a daisy, the reality of the situation was hitting me for the first time.

Here I was, wandering around a house I had no right to be in, looking around at someone's personal possessions, without a care in the world. It was so easy for me to climb through that window.

But why?

There was a reason I was too scared to look at Alice or Rosalie or Jasper that day in the parking lot of Forks High School. It meant that the people who were here now, in 2005, acting as though they were teenagers were the same people I had had interactions with in 1998 at the age of sixteen.

It meant this had to be the Cullen's house right? A house in the woods, under the shade of the trees, far from people, with no food and no beds. And this small part of my history laying in wait atop a lilac sofa. A piece of history I had given to one person, and one person alone.

I hurriedly whipped the tears from my eyes. I couldn't break down, not now. Not in the middle of the lion's den.

But that once comforting smell was overwhelming my senses, I couldn't think straight.

I hadn't realised I had moved. Not until I was suddenly facing a mahogany desk in what seemed to be yet another study. I placed a hand on my chest, closed my eyes, counting to ten.

Deep breaths.

Opening my eyes, I stared blankly ahead at the desk, before becoming suddenly aware of the paper I still grasped in my hand. I shoved it firmly into my pocket next to the garlic.

How is it here? Is this a threat? Is someone playing a game with me?

Was a monster waiting for me? Had they knew I'd come?

I had become very uninterested in continuing my investigation and turned to leave. My eyes widened once more.

The walls were completely covered in pictures of different sizes and colours, something which if it was in another home I may have found interest in. However, there was one that stood out, one that made me step closer, my panic forgot for a moment.

It was the most extravagant and largest of the bunch. A canvas overflowing with figures in swirling robes. A painting from another time. And on the highest balcony of the painting, there he was. The man from the hospital.

Carlisle Cullen.

He looked different in some ways, but the face was almost an exact replica.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and took a few photographs. Looking back at the piece I began moving forward again, fingers reaching forward to lightly brush-

"Shit!" I jumped as the phone in my hand rang loudly, clattering on the floor as it slipped from my fingers.

I scrambled down, to pick it up as it continued to ring. Glancing once more at the doctor's form in the image before me, I hurried from the room as I answered, closing the door as I went.

"Hello?" I prayed my voice didn't portray the fear that was running through me as I hurried to leave the Cullen household.

"Hey, Clara." Addy chirped down the phone, unaware of my current illegal activities, "You're working tomorrow right?"

"Uhh…" My brain felt scrambled, "Yeah I think so, why?"

I barrelled down the stairs and reached the kitchen. I tapped my foot impatiently, staring at the window. My exit.

"Do you think you could come in early tomorrow and open with me? Ron's called in saying-."

"Yeah sure. Addy now actually isn't a great time, so I'll call you later about it? Okay, bye!" The words rushed from my mouth like a waterfall and I would be surprised if Addy could keep up.

I ignored the guilt of hanging up on my friend that burned in my gut and scrambled out the window.

It was later in the afternoon than I thought, and I needed to get as far away from the Cullen house as possible before they all decided it was time to come home and catch me.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

I somehow managed to keep a fast pace between the Cullen house and where I had left my car. Between the light jog and the lack of detours, I managed the many miles in a much shorter time than should have been possible. It was like something in my blood woke up for a while, helping me get away from danger. It didn't last long though.

Any adrenaline that ran through me was slowly fading as I drove home. I made sure to take as many different roads as possible from my usual route to avoid all areas the Cullen's would possibly be lurking, though I still slide down in my chair anytime I thought I caught sight of a silver Volvo.

I sat in front of my house for what felt like a lifetime (but in reality was a few minutes) before I noticed Bella's truck pull up, which sent another pang of fear through my body, but also relieved me.

She was okay.

I watched as she closed the door to the truck, and entered her house.

As I sat in the car, in the drive a thought crossed my mind.

Bella was having somewhat of a similar experience as I had had back in High School. Albeit she wasn't exactly friends with the family but she had seen something strange that day with the car crash. Something strange about Edward Cullen.

I bit my lip, the piece of paper in my pocket feeling as though it was about to burn a hole through my coat. Still, I didn't take it from its place by the garlic.

Christ, I must reek.

Sweat, garlic and fear, cannot be a good combination. My longing for a shower overtook me once more. I was going back to ignoring everything, it was like a superpower.

Let me shower in peace before I have some sort of breakdown.

After a long while, when the sky began to darken, I eventually dragged myself from the car and entered the house. I went straight up to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat on the edge of the bath. I stared at the cool tiles as I chugged down a bottle of water and then ate the remaining sandwich from my bag. I stripped out of my clothes, throwing them in a pile in the farthest corner from me.

At one point I heard my mother enter the house, and I focused hard on her singing loudly to herself as she began making dinner. Anything to distract me.

Just as I went to enter the shower I paused. Opening my bag again, I reached in and pulled out the cross I had almost forgotten about. I placed it against the bathroom mirror and stared at it for a moment. I wasn't sure why I did it, I wasn't particularly religious, but given the current situation, I thought it was appropriate.

I showered for far too long, at a far too hot temperature, but I didn't care. It helped. Helped mask the tears that freely flowed from my eyes. Helped my body which was overcome with tiredness I had not felt since around the time my father died.

"Clara?" My mom called from the bottom of the stairs.

I closed the bathroom door behind me, a towel wrapped around my body, hair dripping, bag hanging from my hand.

"Yeah?"

"Dinner will be ready in a bit."

"I'll be down soon," I called back.

I opened the door to my room. It was dark, the evening had caught up to me, though I wasn't sure how I lost track of time as much as I had. The last few hours since leaving the house seemed like a blur.

I cursed softly.

Christ, what have I done?

I'm insane.

I shivered slightly. I turned the light on, my brows furrowing in confusion. I didn't remember opening the window.

Walking forward, I reached over with my free hand, and shut the window, pulling the curtains over to shield me from the outside.

I turned around and felt the bag fall from my grip, though I didn't hear it when it hit the floor.

I watched as Alice pushed out from behind the door, closing it softly. She looked at me with swirling golden eyes, full of hesitation.

She took a cautious step toward me.

"Don't freak out, okay?" She asked quietly, almost pleading, analysing my every move.

So of course, me being me, I freaked out.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight - It's Nice to Have a Friend

Light pink sky up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

Twenty questions, we tell the truth

You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve

To touch my hand

It's nice to have a friend

It's Nice to Have a Friend, Taylor Swift

A scream left my lips as I grasped the towel closer to my body. My feet moved backwards, scrambling away from Alice, who began shushing me almost immediately. As she took another step forward, I squealed again, bumping into my desk, causing some of the items on top to clatter to the ground.

"Clara?" My mom's worried voice rang out as her hurried feet banged their way up the stairs. "Are you alright?"

Alice glanced from the closed door and then back to me. Annoyance coloured her face, hands moving to rest on her hips. She took a few steps back into the corner, just as the door opened, hiding her once more. My mom looked around warily, rolling pin clutched tightly in her hands. If I was not so freaked out I would have laughed.

"What happened?" She asked staring at me, worry and confusion clear in her eyes. I glanced to the door and then back to my mom, my throat tight at the thought of the presence hidden from our sight.

"Spiders." I croaked.

"What?" The rolling pin was lowering.

"I saw some spiders. At the window." My voice had risen in pitch and I was surprised my mother didn't call my bluff right then and there.

"Spiders." She said unbelievably. My mom shook her head. "I thought something had died!"

"Well, you never know how the night will turn out." I laughed nervously, trying my best to keep from looking at the door.

My mom took a breath, the worry leaving her body. She rolled her eyes, pointing the rolling pin in my direction. "You'll be the end of me I swear."

She turned to leave.

"Mom!" I squeaked, hand reaching out to stop her.

She looked at me questioning.

"I'm feeling a bit sick actually, going to call it an early night."

"Everything alright sweetheart?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, just a bit… a bit under the weather."

"I'll wrap your dinner up for tomorrow, can have it for lunch." She smiled softly, hand on the doorknob. "You, need anything just give me a shout okay?"

"Okay." I forced a smile.

The fear rose in my body, as the door shut, obscuring the view of my mother and revealing a highly amused intruder.

"Spiders? Since when have you been scared of spiders?" Her voice was teasing, but if anything it put me further on edge. I clutched to towel tighter to my body.

"Listen- listen… you!" I tried to be firm, intimidating even, but my voice shook and my fingers clenched, nails digging into my palms. "Whatever is about to happen, it's between me and you, okay! You leave anyone else out of it."

My mind whirled, people flashing through my mind; my mom, Bella and Charlie, Addy and Joe…

I was scared. What had I dragged myself into?

Alice's face dropped as she frowned. She took a step forward, and I took one back. She sighed deeply but her face set in determination.

"I know this is confusing-"

"Confusing!" I laughed bitterly, fearful. "More like impossible!"

"I picked some clothes out for you." She indicated beside me.

I turned and sure enough, a well put together outfit sat on my bed, folded perfectly.

"I figured you wouldn't want to speak wearing nothing but a towel." She gave a small smile.

I didn't return it, neither did I deny she was correct. I felt exposed, I needed another barrier between myself and her.

Alice walked to the desk and sat in the chair, turning her back to me. I watched as she leant down, picking up the objects I had knocked over in my stumbling. I awkwardly shuffled for a moment, and then with caution, I walked to the pillow at the top of my bed, eyes fixed on Alice the entire time. I reached a hand under, pulling out my pj's, and then dressing quickly. There was no telling what she had done to the clothing she had picked for me.

I stood at the foot of my bed, arms crossed in what I hoped seemed like confidence. I cleared my throat, and Alice spun around. Disappointment clouded her face as she took in my outfit, but she quickly smothered it with a smile.

"So…" She trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

I shrugged awkwardly, unsure of what she was looking from me.

Any hesitation Alice had, flew out the window. She bounced on her heels in excitement. "Oh, Clara! I'm so relieved I can finally tell you about all of this and I mean you deserve to know! Of course, I didn't realise we would meet again, I didn't see it coming… And I mean, you did work most of it out for yourself-"

I shook my hands in front of me, stopping her in bewilderment. "Wow, okay let's slow down." I sat on the edge of the bed, analysing her carefully, "You… know who I am then?"

"Obviously! I couldn't forget you, Clara." She smiled warmly, the sight sending a shot of nostalgia through my body. I felt myself soften, then I immediately tensed again.

Focus Clara.

"Could have fooled me," I said bitterly, hugging myself tightly.

Alice's smile faltered slightly, but she wasn't put off. She watched me carefully, allowing me to lead the conversation.

"I think…" I bit my lip, "I just need you to explain what the hell is going on, okay? None of this should be possible! We- we're the same age! How are you-" I shook my head trailing off. I looked at her, pleading. I needed to know.

I stood in silence as Alice explained everything. What she and her family were, how they moved every few years, rocking up to a new town, and established themselves as the newest students at the newest school.

"No wonder you were all so good at everything," I muttered. Alice laughed lightly.

"Well, we had a lot of time on our hands, being immortal and all."

She was smiling as she said it. I couldn't help but stare, completely unsure of what to think or feel. Looking at her now, years later, older and more knowledgable, she looked the same yet… different. It was like I was finally seeing her for what she really was for the first time. Not a human girl, but something more. Something older.

It was like a dream. Like I had stepped into one of my books of wild and unexplainable things. I had always imagined if I was faced with the supernatural I would have openly embraced it. But here I am looking right at it, everything I have always wanted proven to be true and I was afraid.

Alice's eyes analysed me, and I tried not to squirm.

"I wish I was Edward right now, you're so hard to read sometimes."

I looked at her confused not understanding the meaning of her words. I pursed my lips.

"So, the rest of the Cullens, they're not like your real family then? Like you're not related by, well… blood. "

"No. Though they're the only family I've ever known. Well, at least the only family I can remember."

I crossed my arms across my body, "You don't remember your family?"

"From when I was human, no." Alice shook her head. "I can't remember anything from before I was turned…" Alice became unfocused for a moment, a sad look entering her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said. And I meant it. I couldn't imagine a world without my family. My worst fear was forgetting about my own father.

The sad look vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, and she smiled at me once more. "Don't be. I love my family, they mean the world to me."

"Something we can agree on." I threw her a small, fleeting smile. "And I suppose like you, I'm quite protective of my family. So I'd prefer it if you didn't climb through my window and lurk about my house."

Alice grinned, and my stomach lurched. "A lot of my family members feel just as strongly in that regard."

"What- What do you mean?"

"Seems we're even now, aren't we? You climb in through my windows and I climb in through yours."

She was still grinning, and a light twinkling laugh left her. Amusement bounced around her face.

"How… did you know?" I didn't even try to deny it, there was no point. I could see clear as day that I was caught by the certainty in her face.

"I was impressed by your gall. So sure your best friend is a vampire that you engage in some home invasion. Of course, I had an idea you were going to, but it seemed like you kept going back and forth in your decision making… it was hard to track."

"Wha-?"

"I helped of course. It was selfish of me to be sure. And my family is furious . I've already seen what Rosalie is planning to say when I get back." Alice rolled her eyes, "I'm used to it though, she always has something to complain about-"

"Okay, I'm getting a bit lost…"

"Oh sorry," Alice looked at me sheepishly. "I keep getting ahead of myself."

"What did you mean, you 'helped'?" I asked.

"You think that window was left open all on its own?"

"You knew-" I looked at her startled, and let out a laugh. "There's no way you could know I would try and get in through that exact window."

Alice grinned again, "I can, and I did. I have a gift-"

"Wow, hold on." I leaned forward, excited, "You can see into the future?"

Alice nodded, "It's a bit unclear at times, I can see possible futures, depending on decisions made. Nothing is ever set in stone."

"That is… amazing. And kind of frightening."

She giggled, and I joined her quietly.

Alice opened her mouth to speak and then froze. She turned her head toward the window.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously, following her as she moved to the window.

Alice rolled her eyes, "I'm coming now, calm down."

"What?"

Alice turned toward me, "Jasper."

I recoiled slightly, a panic filling me once more. I began to move away from Alice. From the window and Jasper. Alice caught my movement and like a blur, gently grabbed ahold of my hand.

"Hey, it's okay. He's not going to hurt you. Just- I have to go." She said softly, like talking to a scared rabbit.

Reality hit me quickly once more, I was a scared little rabbit, in a town full of wolves and I was the only one who knew it.

"Hey, breathe," Alice said, "You're okay. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you" Alice held both my hands. Her's were cold, and smooth, calming the panic that was rising within me. "Clara?"

I looked into her eyes, gold and soft and full of the same trust and warmth I had known as a girl.

"Okay…" I whispered, "...but, you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"You won't disappear again. We- I mean… You'll explain everything to me. But not here… I don't want my mom or anyone to get involved." I stumbled over my words. Both sure and unsure all at once.

Alice smiled, "I promise. Starting this week, I'll answer any questions you have for me. Besides, I have a few questions of my own I want to ask you."

Alice jumped with grace and ease, onto the window frame. With a fluid movement, she opened the window, and a cool breeze hit my cheeks.

"And don't worry about my family." Alice gestured behind her, "I'll deal with them."

I nodded, choosing, for some insane reason, to trust the woman in front of me. Curiosity got the better of me, and Alice watched me with interest as I moved forward, looking past her and out of the window. I strained my eyes along the faraway treeline watching for any movement. Alice followed my gaze.

I breathed out a gasp and blinked. I couldn't see anything but green in the distance, but I was certain for just a moment, I had looked right into Jasper's golden eyes, which were watching us from the trees, guarded, and ready to strike.

Alice's perfect brows furrowed in confusion. "Did you see him?"

I pulled my eyes away, shaking my head. I let out a quiet laugh, "No, there's no way… It's too far. I just thought-... Hey, are you okay?"

Alice had a faraway look in her eye, glassy and unmoving. Was this the gift she had mentioned? And then something clicked. This is what happened when we (or just me?) were kids! Those far off looks... they were visions.

Alice blinked, her sight becoming clear again. She snapped her eyes to mine in shock, then grinned. Her eyes flew out the window, then back to me again. She giggled, her body moving slightly in giddiness.

"What?" I asked impatiently, "What did you see?" Alice grappled me into a hug, which I returned after a moment of shock. "What is happening?"

"Nothing!" She sang, pulling back. I'll see you soon, okay?" And just like that, Alice vaulted from the window, landing softly on the ground.

"Okay." I replied bewildered, "Holy shit!" I watched as Alice moved like a blur from my home into the treeline, disappearing amongst the greenery. "So cool. And so very terrifying ." I swore I could hear Alice's laughter echo through the breeze.

I shut the window and let out a breath. I leaned against my desk.

Am I dreaming?

I tapped my fingers against my desk, looking down as they brushed against paper. My fingers wrapped around my sketch pad, bringing it in front of me, and I looked down at Jasper Hale, the man that seems to be like some sort of ghost within my own life. Always in the background, out of reach.

I wonder what his voice sounds like? And do I even want to know?

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine - IDK You Yet

How can you miss someone you've never met?

'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet

But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?

Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet

IDK You Yet - Alexander 23

The week that followed my encounter with Alice felt longer than it was. So vivid in my mind yet had gone by like a blur. Almost every day since that night we had continued to pick away at each other, curious as to the ways we had and had not changed. It became very apparent very quickly that I was the one who was different, while Alice was much the same. It was strangely comforting to me, but something in my veins, the way my chest would tighten as I caught a glimpse of her golden eyes or the way her skin sparkled when hit by the rare rays of the sun, (she huffed with me for several minutes when I compared her shining skin to that of a disco ball), still caused me to be cautious in those first few days.

But it was Friday now, and I couldn't help but edge slightly closer to her as we laughed, perched side by side on a log by the river. Alice had rolled her eyes when I first suggested we use the river as our meeting place, though her warm smile reassured me that she understood my caution, and she was as patient as Alice could be.

"So," I curled my legs beneath myself as Alice turned toward me, "You've told me about the past and the present. What about your future?" she asked.

I let out a laugh, "Shouldn't I be asking you about that?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "I'm serious! I want to know."

I shrugged, "I already told you why I came to Forks, I haven't really thought about anything after that. We can't all lead exciting lives you know." I shot her a look, suppressing a smile. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands, picking at the fabric. I looked up at Alice, curious, "Do you remember? What is it that you wanted to do when you were my age? I mean things were vastly different so I couldn't even begin to imagine…"

Alice's eyes seemed to look past me for a moment, before snapping back, she smiled casually, "I don't remember anything from before."

I looked at her confused, "From before? Like, before you…" I scanned my eyes around the area, lowering my voice to a whisper, " became a vampire."

Alice laughed loudly at me, "If anyone was around I would know, you don't have to whisper."

I looked at her seriously, whirling my hand around the area to point in all directions, "You can never be too careful okay. I know you're a super skilled scary vampire, but I've read enough horror to know that a hunter could be lurking where you least expect it!" I declared loudly.

I couldn't help but feel slightly giddy (though I kept it to myself). I was the only one to know the Cullen's secret in the rainy town of Forks, and although all but Alice and perhaps Esme probably wanted to eat me, I couldn't help but feel my supernatural instincts increase by ten-fold. My urge to live out my dream of being in a monster-filled world seems to be coming true.

The more rational part of my brain scolded me for having such thoughts, for not taking seriously the situation at hand. I suppose it was easy to forget the true nature of my friend when it was so simple to slip back into the warm security of our friendship, not thinking of how she could snap me in two before I could even blink.

"Well," she said, "I thank you for being so diligent." I could tell she was holding in a laugh. "But yes, from before I was turned."

I pulled the fabric of my sweater harder, "Oh." I wasn't sure how to react.

Alice raised an eyebrow, still smiling, "Don't look so glum, it was a long time ago. Can't miss what you don't remember."

I gave her a small smile, contemplating her words. She wasn't wrong but the thought of forgetting my own past, no matter how painful it could be, was terrifying.

I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing. I dug into the pocket of my coat to grab it, putting it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Clara…"

"Bella? Hey! Everything okay?"

Alice's eyes flash in excitement as she leans forward. She mouths 'Bella Swan?'

"Oh- yeah yeah. I was just wondering if you wanted to meet for dinner or something? Schools over so-"

I looked at Alice, knowing she had heard every word. She grins, nodding.

"Yeah sure, that sounds good, I can meet you in like fifteen minutes? The usual?"

"Yeah, that works for me. I'll see you in a bit then?"

"Yeah see you soon!"

Alice squeals as I hang up the phone, "that's exciting."

I laugh standing up, stretching. "It's just Bella, we usually do things like this."

Alice jumps up, "Can I come?"

I stare at her small buzzing form, big smile, and a head full of questions.

Raising an eyebrow I respond, "No." Alice Pouts.

"Don't look at me like that," I say, walking backwards, "You know that's a terrible idea, your family might actually end me.

'They're boring.' She frowns, but I can see the twitch at the corners of her mouth.

'You know, that's not how I would describe them.' I laugh at the sight of her sticking her tongue out, 'I'll text you later, okay?"

"Okay!" It never failed to surprise me when it came to Alice's constant upbeat persona. But as I waved goodbye to her, watching as she disappeared in a blink of an eye, there was a small feeling in my chest, though I wasn't sure what it was. Sadness? Maybe. How can someone who can't even remember who they were before… well before vampires , be so optimistic?

I walked through the woods, making my way to my car, hurrying to meet Bella. I was curious, she hadn't mentioned much of Edward or the Cullens since I had discovered their secret, yet I couldn't help but feel she was suspicious. She knew something was off, and I knew she was right. Clearly, the Cullen's were also aware of this as Bella told me how Edward was actively avoiding her now.

Part of me wanted to tell her, and as I sat opposite her in the small diner, listening as she spoke of a book she was reading, I had to stuff my mouth full of fries just to stop myself. The sensible part of my brain knew it wouldn't be a good idea for her to get involved with the likes of the Cullens, I could barely deal with being involved with one of them.

Full and satisfied, I left Bella, joining Joe in our late-night shift in the shop. The aisle was empty, the evening quickly darkening outside. Joe and I stood at the counter, a bag of sweets open between us, as I quickly scribbled away on a piece of paper.

"Shit, that looks good!" Joe leans over the page, taking in the image. "You know, she would hate this, but she looks a lot like her mom there."

I pull back, taking in the picture of Addy I had quickly sketched. Bored out of our minds, Joe had challenged me to draw our friends how they would look in twenty years. I quirk an eyebrow at him. "I dare you to tell her."

Joe placed a hand on his chest, "Are you mad? I don't want to die."

I snorted. Joe moved the old Addy drawing to the pile of others, then looked me dead in the eye, "Last one…"

I narrowed my eyes, "go on…"

"Marian."

My mouth twisted to hold back a grin, then quickly let my pen fly across the page. It was the one that took the least amount of time, and when I was done, I turned the page and pushed it toward Joe.

He laughed, shocked, giving me a look, "you're awful." He took in the quickly sketched coffin.

"I know and I would feel guilty if she hadn't made me rearrange the storeroom three times."

Joe shrugged his shoulders, "To be honest, with how high her blood pressure must be with the way she runs about with all that stress, you probably aren't wrong."

We laugh. We decided to close up early with no customers in sight, heading toward my car and sitting along in its parking space. Joe took his time, flicking through the pile of sketches. Seeing the coffin image on the top of the pile, I whisk it from his grasp.

"I'll have to burn this, otherwise, I reckon Marian would sniff it out and fire me. Or make me rearrange the stockroom again."

"Isn't it crazy?" Joe asked, continuing when he spotted my questioning look. "How we are all going to end up like that one day?" He indicated to the page in my hand.

"Alright Joe, let's not get too depressing."

He laughs again, bumping my shoulder, 'I mean look.' He held up the sketch of him, holding it by his face, "I bet I'm getting grey hairs already."

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. Then my face drops into a serious expression.

"What?" Joe asks warily.

"Just…" I slowly edge toward him, leaning in close, hand coming toward his head. Joe is wide-eyed, like a deer in headlights, and I had to bite my lip to stop my laughter. Quickly, I reached forward tugging a single hair from his head.

"Ow!" Joe flinches, massaging the paint spot.

"You're right, grey-haired already. Best come up with a new skincare routine before you get wrinkles too, old man."

"I'm not wrinkly!" Joe's face is a mixture of shock and sheer amusement, continuing to massage his head, his face flushed slightly.

"I don't want to think about getting old, I can barely adult as it is," I whined, opening my car door.

"Well, you aren't wrong there," Joe quipped, joining me in the car.

"You shouldn't insult the person giving you a lift home, you know."

"My apologies. Could I make it up to you over a friendly drink?"

I turn the keys, the engine revving to life. "I can't tonight, I'm taking myself to Port Angeles tomorrow, so I can't afford a hangover. But if you're free you could always meet me there tomorrow night? More choice than there is in Forks."

"Sounds like a plan, I'll maybe give the others a text too. We can make a night of it. Also, I'm keeping some of these drawings. I'll let you keep the one of you, Clara. If in twenty years we both look how you imagine, I'll buy you a pack of beer."

I woke up rather early the next morning, dragging myself to the shower in a desperate attempt to wake myself up. After the hectic time I had experienced as of late, I felt a day away from Forks, away from the Cullen's, was well needed. And where better to go than to Port Angeles for a peaceful day of shopping and coffee drinking. I was giddy as well, at the thought of meeting all of my friends for an evening of fun. Despite the short amount of time, I had spent in Forks, and despite all of the, shall we say abnormal things that had taken place, I hadn't felt so content, so settled and welcomed, in such a long time.

After a quick breakfast, I headed to my car, turning the radio on. I could feel the weight of the last week, lift off of my shoulders, the green views of Forks passing me by as I drove closer to my destination. Once had arrived in Port Angeles, it took me a while to find a spot to park. Being a Saturday, the city was bustling and alive, and I felt glad to have a bit of normality.

From what I could tell whilst I was driving, the sky was dull, the sun hidden behind the clouds, but it looked dry at least. I took another good look at the grey above me, my mouth twisting. I jumped from my car and digging through my bag, juggling bits and bobs in my hands as I look for my prize. Victorious, I pull the umbrella from my bag, but in doing so I spill its contents all over the ground.

Embarrassed, I groan, leaning down to pick up my things, muttering to myself as the sounds of other cars and people move around me. Replacing my things, I can't help but notice the gossiping women not far from me. I flush. Are they laughing at me ?

I stand quickly, looking once again at the women. My eyebrows furrow.

They weren't looking at me. They were looking behind me.

Giggling, the women hurry away, unashamedly glancing over their shoulders as they go.

Confused, I follow their eyes, turning.

The contents of my bag were once again scattered across the ground beneath my feet, though I didn't notice. All I could see was the stare of the man that's been in the back of my mind for some time now. A stare that gives away none of his intentions.

Jasper Hale is here, standing a meter away from me.

The old sketch I had drawn for Joe last night was clearly incorrect. My death date seems to be today.

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten - Hey Gringo

Laying low (low) but I could see the smoke

Yeah and I knew it wouldn't be long

I could stay, oh, I could stay awake

Long enough to die another day

I could try to get it right

Whatever's gonna keep you alive

Keep you alive

Hey Gringo - Kaleo

I don't think I've ever been so aware of someone else's presence in my life. I couldn't help but continue to glance at Jasper, as he sat in the passenger seat of my car.

"Eyes on the road." He barely moved when saying it, simply continuing to stare out the window ahead of him.

"Sorry", I squeaked, flushing from the embarrassment of getting caught staring.

HOW did I manage to get myself into this situation?

A few hours earlier

I didn't realise I had taken a step back until I heard the crack of a pen beneath my feet. Looking down I scanned the ground, taking in all of the things that had scattered moments earlier. In a brief moment of madness, and ignoring the situation at hand, I knelt down and quickly picked up my things, before rising again, turning, and walking away from my car.

I heard footsteps following me, and knowing how silent vampires can be, thanks to Alice, I knew he was making it obvious. I stopped, turning to glare at him with as intimidating a stare as I could manage. He was obviously unaffected, but I turned and continued walking. Once more I could hear those footsteps.

With a furious breath through my nose, I stopped. Turning on my heel I finally faced him, and after an awkward shuffle, and pace in place to get up my courage, I looked him in those golden eyes.

"Listen… you-" I pointed a finger at him, waggling it like a mother to a child. "You. Just stay there alright." He cocked an eyebrow, and I had to take another breath, 'You- you can't, you know.' I dropped my voice in the quietest whisper, glancing around, "You can't get all… vampire, on me okay? You can't kill me, right? Death isn't on my calendar for today, and-... And Alice would be really cross-"

"If I was going to kill you," he walked toward me, eyes narrowing, "I would pick somewhere with fewer people. Where no one could hear you scream."

I would have expressed shock at the slight southern drawl that came from his mouth if I didn't feel the breath leave me at his words. Then I saw the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.

I wagged my finger again, "Don't make those types of jokes!"

"Who said I was joking?"

"Me. I did. I have decided you are joking." I took in his lack of emotion, "though your general lack of expression indicates to me that you might not be capable of fun."

"Alice thinks I'm fun."

"Yes well, Alice would think a rock is fun." I look at him, mouth twisting. I tightened my grip on my bag, "Why are you here."

"I need to talk to you."

"About?"

Japer's eyebrow rises again as if to say 'isn't it obvious?'

My body screamed. I do NOT need this today.

"Haha," I forced a smile that even I knew looked painful, "right well I've actually got some things I have to do, gonna be jam-packed today. No time for any conversations. Busy, busy, busy."

No response. I saluted the vampire, turning and walking away again.

Those damn footsteps, AGAIN. LEAVE ME ALONE.

I stomped my foot. "Fine! Fine, you want to talk let's talk. But if you try and do anything dodgy, I'm calling Alice!"

I twiddled my fingers together, trying to let the sounds of the coffee shop distract from the extreme awkwardness I was feeling.

I bit my lip, lifting my coffee to my lips, and taking a loud sip. I held the mug in my hands tightly, hoping the warmth from it will take away the cold that had taken over my body, unnerved by his neverending stare.

"So-"

"What are your intentions with Alice?"

I stare at him for a moment, "what do you mean?"

"What are you trying to gain?" His expression was stony, he was so hard to read.

I was taken aback, insulted almost, "Gain? I don't want to gain anything. She's my friend."

"You haven't seen her in years-"

"And that means I can't care about her?"

"The timing is just interesting, with what you know."

"I was friends with her before I even knew about, all that!" I hissed back. "I dunno how it is for you vam-... you lot, but for most of us humans, a couple of years doesn't make us just forget who our friends were."

He didn't respond, just continued staring at me. I went on, "Alice seems perfectly capable of looking after herself you know, I don't think I'm likely to hurt her any time soon."

"Not physically, maybe. But Alice is too kind, too trusting…"

"You think I'm going to tell everyone in Forks, is that it?"

"It's a possibility."

In a way, I understood his fear, but I couldn't help but feel furious at the accusation.

"You're angry," he said.

"Of course, I'm angry! I would never betray Alice like that! I've only just got her back." I hissed at him, "And you know what? It terrifies me. All of this. I can barely comprehend what the hell is going on! What she is, terrifies me, and knowing any day I could wake up and the people I care about could be killed... I could be killed because I know what your family is! But I chose to get involved! I'm a grown woman and need to deal with the consequences of being too bloody nosey! I have a lot of people I want to keep safe, including Alice! That's is why I would never tell anyone!" despite being relatively quiet, I glance around to make sure no one was listening, "Alice has that weird power, she sees things right? Tell me, has she had any indication that I'm going to stab her in the back."

I can see Jasper analysing me, taking in my stance, expression, and even how I held my coffee mug.

"No… not yet."

"Then why are you trying to scare me!"

For the first time, I think I saw a flicker of emotion across his perfect face.

"I am very protective of Alice. She means a lot to me. And I don't trust you, no matter what she says."

"She means a lot to me too," I can sense there's a story there, but I sure as hell wasn't going to ask Jasper for it, "Maybe we have more in common than we think."

The breath of a laugh escaped his lips and he sat back in his chair, "I very much doubt that."

It was almost more unsettling seeing him so casual. I tapped my fingers against my mug.

"So… Are you going to kill me then?" It was almost baffling how easily those words came out of my mouth, as though I was talking about some food I ate the other day.

Jasper cocked his head to the side, contemplating. "I haven't decided."

"Oh, you haven't decided? That's comforting. Saying you'll maybe kill me is just a peg under you'll definitely kill me on the fear scale."

His lips twitch again, "you're scared."

"Oh really? How could you tell?" sarcasm dripped off of my words.

This time he full-on smirked, eyes flashing, "I felt it."

"You felt it." He nodded, "wow, that is one of the creepiest things anyone has ever said to me. Well done."

He inclined his head at me.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, practically talking to myself at this point. "You know what, I don't even want to know, don't tell me. I bet you're just trying to scare me right?... Jasper?"

In my ramblings I hadn't noticed how tense he had become, but not in the same way as before. He seemed… nervous. It was rather unsettling how statue-like he had become, eyes wide, nostrils flaring slightly.

"Are you okay?" I asked hesitating. He seemed so focused like he was restraining himself.

I looked around, trying to figure out what was wrong. It was then that I noticed how busy the coffee shop had become since we had walked in, it was almost…. Claustrophobic. I looked back at him.

I pushed my chair back, standing. The sound seemed to get his attention somewhat.

"Um… do you want to leave."

He stands almost too quickly, but no one seemed to notice. "Yes."

"Okay…" I whispered, I had to walk fast to keep up with his fast pace as he left the shop, walking into the cool afternoon air. His back was to me, and I could see a shudder run throughout his body, so violent, like electric.

I slowly moved toward him, and with extreme hesitance, I placed a hand on his arm. I jumped back slightly at how quickly his face turned to mine, and at the almost fear in his eyes as he looked at my hand.

I quickly retracted it, the cool feeling of his arm lingering on my skin, "Sorry," I whispered.

He didn't speak for a moment, still looking at the spot my hand had been. "It's fine…"

I take a step back, putting a bit of space between us. "You seem like the one who's scared now."

His eyes flashed, "I'm fine."

I almost scoffed, "Are you sure about that?' taking in his stance again, I soften, 'Are you really okay?"

His eyes narrow, "Why do you care?"

I recoil, annoyance flooding my veins, "It's called being nice, maybe you've heard of it."

He scowls, then looks away. When he looks back he seems to have regained control over whatever it was that affected him so strongly. "...I'm sorry."

I almost laughed at how uncomfortable he looked, how hard those words seemed to be for him to get out. "You don't apologise very often do you?"

"No. Though that's because I'm usually right."

I raise an eyebrow, laughing, "Yeah you do look like someone who would think that."

Hiking my bag on my shoulder, I begin to walk away. This time I don't hear the footsteps. I turn to face him.

"Come on."

"What?" He doesn't move.

"Let's go."

"You want me to follow you now?" his brows furrow.

"Well this little chat has wasted some of my shopping time, so you can carry my shopping bags as an apology." I hesitate. "And then we're going to go and see the rest of your family."

Shock flashed across his face, and he begins to come toward me, "I'm not sure that's such a good idea, some of my family isn't too pleased after you broke into our home."

I cringed, and it didn't take much thought to figure out who those family members might be. "I know… But I hate this feeling of uncertainty, and I'm sure your family feels the same. I dunno if it will help, but- but I think I need to do this."

Jasper stops before me, and I look him straight in the eye, my body shaking slightly with nerves, but my stare holding firm, telling him I'm serious.

"Alright. But just know I can't promise things will go well."

I nod firmly, letting out a breath. God, why do I keep doing this to myself.

"Are you finished?" Jasper grumbled, annoyance clear on his face, patience quickly dwindling.

I exited the bakery, a bag full of pastries in hand. Jasper stood before me, bags from the shops I had previously visited hanging from his hands.

I smirk at the sight, "you would make a good butler or something you know."

His scowl is dark, and an unnatural animalistic grumble leaves him.

I laugh nervously, hurrying forward, "haha, just kidding, let me take those. Please don't hurt me."

I pulled the bags from him, taking care to avoid touching him. I had significantly more trouble carrying the bags than he did, but I start walking regardless.

He rolled his eyes, then, rather aggressively, took some of the bags from my arms.

I give him a toothy grin of thanks, but he just gave me a dark look in return.

WHY is he so scary.

Walking down the street we don't speak, and the atmosphere is a mixture of awkward tension, and comfortable silence. It makes me nervous, not quite trusting the calm between us.

We draw closer to my car, but I stopped abruptly. "Wait! Give me two minutes!" Hurrying off, I entered a nearby shop, leaving a confused Jasper in my wake.

A few minutes later I reappeared, two large bouquets of flowers in hand.

"What are those for?" Jasper asks.

"Well, ones for my mom and ones for yours." I start toward the car, feeling Jasper's presence follow behind me.

"For Esme?" His eyes narrow, "Why?" he asks suspicious, that stony emotion overcoming him again.

"We're going back to that whole, it's called being nice, thing." I pull out my car keys as we approach. "She's always been nice to me the few times I've met her, she seems like a nice person…. Vampire… vampire-person?"

We placed the bags into the back of the car, and I turned to Jasper, "...and I broke into her house and in hindsight that seems a bit rude."

Jasper hums, still suspicious, but seemed to accept my answer. "I'll meet you there then." he turns, walking away.

'Wait!' fear floods my body, and I wring my hands, "can you… come with me?"

I can see from his expression, that Jasper is confused at my request, so I continue, slightly more meek than I have been, "I just… I know it sounds weird, okay, and if Alice was here I would ask her, but she's not, and I just- It's scary okay! And I just need someone to be with me when I arrive."

He cocks his head, "...and I'm the one to do that?"

I scowl, embarrassed, "trust me if I had other options I would pick them."

He thinks for a moment, then walks to the passenger side door. He hesitates to get in, "You know, you're not the smartest of people. You're willingly walking into the lion's den."

"Don't think I'm not scared. My way of coping with things is to sort of just ignore them until I can't anymore. Hence all of the shopping." I laugh awkwardly, but Jasper doesn't copy me. Instead, he watches, very serious.

"When it comes to our kind, that's the stupidest decision you can make, because by the time you can't ignore it anymore it'll be too late for you."

And with that he enters the car, leaving me with a heavy feeling in my stomach. Am I in over my head? I already knew the answer.

I climbed into the car and began to drive. Each minute felt like an hour and I couldn't help but glance at the presence beside me, both wary of how easy it would be for him to turn and snap my neck, and curious as to why he has continued to humour me throughout the day? Why did he agree to follow me around while I bought silly things, why did he agree to come with me in the car when it was easier for him to just run back? When he clearly didn't trust me?

"Eyes on the road." He barely moved when saying it, simply continuing to stare out the window ahead of him.

"Sorry", I squeaked, flushing from the embarrassment of getting caught staring. The rest of the drive was silent, but my brain was wide awake with thoughts. Entering Forks once more, I followed the familiar road, passing Addy's house, continuing until I came to the road leading straight to the vampires. I turn, driving down the winding road.

"I see you didn't need any instructions."

I cringed, sliding down the seat slightly. I didn't answer. My body was freezing up, and my sweaty hands clenched the wheel tightly. All too soon the sight of the grand Cullen residence comes into view, and I feel my stomach turn.

Please don't throw up.

I come to a stop in front of the house. I don't know how long I sat there, just staring at the house in a scared daze. I'm not ready! I want to go back, to go home.

I jumped when the car door opened. Jasper stood on the other side, watching me. I didn't even hear him get out.

"Come on," he said, "they're all waiting."

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven - Brother Run Fast

One by one, one by one, we all fall

One by one, oh, one by one, we will all fall

Open your arms wide

Open your eyes wide

Brother, run fast

They're coming your way

Oh, brother, run fast

They're headin' your way

Kaleo - Brother Run Fast

Jasper waited for me to exit the car before disappearing. I presumed he had entered the house, not that I could keep up with his speed. I shut the door hard behind me and stared at the house. I felt a tremble run through me. The last time I was here I had climbed in through the kitchen window. 

Oh my God. 

Another tremble. 

What the hell had I done. I BROKE into their home. And now I’m going to enter once again, on my own insistence. And they were all waiting for me this time. 

Black eyes flashed through my memory and I felt my stomach turn. I didn’t realise I had taken a step back until I hit the car behind me. 

What if Alice being nice was all a ruse? What if Jasper talking to me today was just a way for them to lure me to the house? And I’ve just happily obliged. It wouldn’t be surprising if they wanted to get rid of me after I ran so far across the line of acceptable normal behaviour. Am I going to die? 

They were irrational thoughts, but then again, nothing about this situation was rational. 

I took a breath, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. Taking my time I got the flowers from the car, and then, almost automatic, I let my feet guide me to the house. Every noise beneath my shoes seemed to echo throughout my surroundings, but I kept moving, the journey from the car to the open front door, a blur.

I was cautious, worried as I entered the threshold of their perfect home that I would somehow break something, or leave a trail of dirt in my wake. It was somehow a lot more terrifying coming in through the front door than it did through the kitchen window. All too quickly my destination arrived and my shoes shuffled against the floor.

 I stood in the familiar area of the living room. My grip tightened on the flowers as I took in the Cullen family in front of me, some with smiles, some with… well the opposite really.

My first instinct lead me to scope out the most threatening, the gazes which had the hairs on my arms standing tall. Rosalie sat on the plush sofa, looking perfect as always, expression stony. I couldn’t tell whether or not the golden colour of her eyes (as all the Cullen’s currently had) was more comforting than the dark pits that haunted me.

I couldn’t help but laugh slightly inside my head. Rosalie not pleased to see me? Truly shocking stuff, I would never have guessed. 

The tiniest shift made me aware of Edward standing the furthest away, almost as though he was trying to hide in the corner. And I suppose up until this moment he had been succeeding. He must have heard me . And as though to confirm my thoughts, his eyes flicked up and for a moment we looked directly at each other. His expression was blank, giving nothing away. I unconsciously turned more toward him as though to prepare for any sudden movement. 

“If your intention is to squeeze the life from those things, you’re succeeding.” 

I jumped about a metre in the air, heat rushing to my cheeks. I hated the feeling of being watched like something on a nature show. I only now noticed Emmett who stood behind Rosalie, though he was far more casual, leaning comfortably on the back of the sofa. He was relaxed, nodding toward the bundle in my hands. If I wasn’t paying an excruciating amount of attention I wouldn’t have noticed the slight shift of annoyance from the pretty blonde at Emmett's non-hostile tone. 

I looked down at the flowers, the crunch of the plastic seeming endlessly loud as I loosened my grip. 

Emmett's comment seemed to cut through the suffocating tension, and whilst my body was still rigid, I seemed to have the ability to speak again. How I didn’t notice Alice bouncing on her toes in front of me until now I don’t know. It seemed as though this was the less threatening corner of the room. Esme and Carlise stood side by side, comforting smiles aimed at me. And there in the back was Jasper. He was watching me carefully eyes narrowed; but it wasn’t in the suspicious,  or dare I say it, a scary way, but rather… curious? 

I bet he’s excited to see whether I can use my amazing charisma to talk my way out of the consequences of my little breaking and entering escapade…. Or if I’m gonna die. Who really knows with Mr Hale.

Speaking of my amazing charisma, time to break out the charm.

“Um…” My arm flew out straight ahead, the flowers limply swaying toward Esme, who couldn’t hide her amused surprise. “There are for you.”

“They’re to say sorry…” Jasper piped up, walking forward slowly, “for dirtying your kitchen counters when she climbed through the window.” 

I flinched, glaring at Jasper. And at that moment I wished he was the one who could read my thoughts. 

NOT HELPING YOU GOLDEN-HAIRED DEMON. 

Jasper’s eyebrow rose in what I could only guess was amusement, and I averted my gaze to the flowers in front of me, desperately avoiding anyone's eyes. 

Without thinking, I squeezed my eyes shut, If I can’t see them, they can’t see me. 

I suppressed a groan, regret seeping through my veins. Oh my God, I want to DIE

My eyes flew open, and I turned toward Edward, brandishing my flowers which shook slightly in rhythm with my hands. 

“No, I don’t!” I squeaked out, eyes wide with alarm, petals falling from the flowers as they shook, “No I don’t! That wasn’t an offer!” 

Edward gave nothing away, but everyone else looked at me as though I had two heads. 

“Don’t what?” Alice asked me, concern laced in her voice, moving forward to comfort me. The cold of her hands on my skin made me jump, but I didn’t pull away. 

“...to die.” It was a whisper, barely there, but I knew they heard. 

There were a number of snickers that made their way to my ears. The scary vampire corner was LAUGHING at me. I could physically feel myself pout and I couldn’t help it. I turned to Alice to see her trying very hard to suppress a smile. 

“Oh stop, leave her be.” Esme was firm but gentle, her voice a comfort. I nodded along in agreement with her, allowing Alice to pat my back comfortingly. 

“I’m sure those flowers didn’t want to die either,” Jasper piping up AGAIN. My pout deepened into a scowl as he continued, “and yet you’ve decimated them.”

This time he definitely did smirk as he took the flowers from my hands. 

“I hate you.”

“Feelings mutual, Darlin.” 

My cheeks flushed at the southern twang. His words indicated a mutual hatred, yet I hadn’t seen him seem so comfortable, that I almost didn’t believe his words. Almost.

Guess the house and his family are his comfort zone? I suppose I can relate . 

I sobbed in my head, wish I was home too.

Jasper handed the pathetic looking flowers to Esme, who gave him a light smack on the arm. 

“Be nice.” I tensed as Esme moved slowly toward me. She placed a hand softly on my arm, her perfect teeth showing as she smiled widley. ( Nice Fangs) . “Thank you, Clara. They’re lovely.”

I cringed as I once again heard a round of snickers. They weren’t lovely, but I warmed knowing Esme was genuinely trying to comfort me. 

“It is nice to see you again Clara, though of course, under very different circumstances.” Carlisle stepped forward beside Esme, reaching hands out. I returned the gesture, letting him clasp my hands in greeting. 

“You could say that again.” I shuffled, “Your home is really lovely."

“You should know,” Rosalie piped up not even looking my way, “You had a full tour of the place.” 

Could this family please stop tormentinhg me. God please let me get through one conversation. 

“Uh…” I decided to focus on the nice vampires, “Yeah, about that. Look, I’m very sorry about all that. Um… I wasn’t really thinking…” 

Alice rolled her eyes, shooting Rosalie a dirty look, before turning back to me reassuringly. She hugged me from the side, not a worry in the world. 

“I’ve already been through this with them all, MULTIPLE times.”

“Alice told us that she knew you were coming.” Esme said, “Though it would have been nice to know beforehand .” 

I almost giggled at Alice being scolded. 

“While I would prefer you refrain from breaking in anytime in the future, I can understand your motivations.” Carlisle added, “Fear makes us do unreasonable things.”

I nodded furiously, eager to agree, praying I was out of trouble. 

“Is that it?” Rosalie’s voice cut through me like ice. I wished she would just go back to laughing at me. She stood, and I shrunk back behind Alice, not that I could hide behind her tiny frame.  

“Rose,” Emmetts voice was cautious but quiet. He didn’t want to disagree with her and I suppose I couldn’t blame her.

Carlisle was calm and collected as he faced Rosalie’s cold, furious face. 

“As long as she promises not to do it again, I see no reason why we can’t put it behind us. I think we have more important things to think about at present.”

“I promise I won’t do it again.” I agreed in a squeak, peaking around Alice. 

“Well of course you won’t.” Rosealie answered sarcastically, “Why would you need to, Alice seems eager to just let you wander in through the front door whenever you like.”

Alice… hissed at her sister. (I was going to have to ask her about the hissing later) 

“Don’t start Rosalie, We’ve already been through this.” 

“I agree with Rosalie. This whole situation is bad.” 

“Oh well there’s a surprise.” Alice laughed humorlessly, “I think after the stunt you pulled with Bella, you don’t get to say anything Edward!”

More hissing and growling. Fear had momentarily left me as I watched curiously at the almost animalistic movements of the group. I was so engrossed that I almost didn’t notice Jasper had moved to shield Alice, and now I really did have to lean around to see what was happening in the scary vamp corner. 

“You're endangering us all!” Rosalie’s voice was rising, as was the tension in the room. “The both of you, so stupid! Over some… some... blood bags!”

My nose wrinkled , “Rude”, I muttered. 

“Ha! That’s rich coming from you-!” 

“Aren’t you the one who desperately wishes she was one of those blood bags-”

“Shut your mouth Edward!-”

Voices flew back and forth, moving too quickly for me to keep up. Growls, hisses and insults were hurled back and forth. I was shocked and somewhat moved by how sibling like they really were. 

How… human it was. 

“Enough.” The voice of a leader, cool and firm. Carlisle. He cut through the fighting. 

I jumped as something cold touched my arm once more. Esme was beside me, a strained smile on her face. I felt bad at that moment. I caused this. This familial fighting. This pain a mother clearly felt at the sight of her children acting as they were. 

My brows furrowed, but I didn’t know what to say. 

The room felt icy. I was an intruder once again, disturbing a place that wasn’t mine. It was suffocating and I felt the need to flee. 

Esme pulled on my arm gently, “Why don’t we go to the kitchen. Get you a snack or something hm?”

If the situation wasn’t as it was, I would have questioned the fact that they even had snacks in the house, but I was happy with any excuse to get out of here. I nodded, allowing Esme to lead me away. 

The rest of the family was obviously waiting for my departure before an inevitable argument was to start up again. Everyone was glaring at one another, fiery words on the tips of their tongues. I looked over my shoulder as we reached the doorway. 

Jasper’s head turned slightly toward me and for a few seconds our eyes met, and then he turned away again, standing tall, protectively in front of the pixie bouncing on her toes, clearly ready to fight. 

Funny, I thought.

As I followed Esme from the room, my heart felt at ease, and a sense of calm flowed through my veins, as though someone was reassuring me, whispering to me.

It will be okay. 

Right?

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve - Caught in the Middle

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

I try to keep going but it's not that simple

I think I'm a little bit caught in the middle

Gotta keep going or they'll call me a quitter

Yeah, I'm caught in the middle

Caught in the Middle - Paramore

If I had to list the top weirdest things that had happened in my life so far, this would definitely be at the top. I sat awkward, and stiff at the dining table, watching as Esme pottered about making me a cup of coffee as though this was a normal occurrence for us.

Despite listening as hard as I could, there was no noise from the living room, animalistic or otherwise. Not sure if that was reassuring.

Esme smiled brightly, setting a mug on the table.

"Thanks." I smiled, pulling the tea toward me. I tried not to let my eyes widen at how grey the coffee looked. Did she give me dishwater? Is this my punishment for trespassing?

I glance up at Esme who was watching in an almost wholesome and excited apprehension.

"I've never got to make coffee for anyone before," she twiddled her fingers, "Go ahead and try it! I want to see what you think."

Seeing the innocent look on her face, I didn't want to disappoint.

"Um... sure, okay." I nodded politely, lifting the mug to my lips, very aware of the golden eyes watching my every movement.

Oh god, what did this poor woman do to this coffee?

It was only when I looked back at Esme again that I realised I was holding the liquid in my mouth. I forced myself to swallow.

"So?"

"Mmmm…" I nodded, my voice a pitch too high, "Yeah… really nice. Never had a coffee… like it."

Esme relaxed, smiling widely. She moved so fast I jumped backwards. She was now sitting beside me at the table and I knew I was gaping at her like a fish.

"Oh I'm so glad," She placed her cold hand on top of mine, "I followed the instructions on the back of the box, it wasn't too difficult but it's hard when I can't taste it myself. I have a few recipes I've been dying to try, and now with you here I have a reason! I'll have to get some ingredients the next time you're over. I finally have an excuse to use the kitchen."

The cold of her hand was a bit too much, and I tried to subtly pull my hand away, but vampires miss nothing, and she sheepishly put her hands on her lap.

"Sorry, I was so excited I didn't think-"

"Oh no!" I interrupted her, "It was just a bit… cold." Not wanting to offend her, I quickly added, "But you made me this lovely coffee to warm my hands on." I tried to smile reassuringly.

I tapped my fingers on the mug for a moment, thinking. "Um… did you say, next time?" I didn't know where to look while asking her. The statement had stood out to me.

Next time.

Esme's brows furrowed, "well of course. Unless you don't feel comfortable.."

"I suppose I'm just a bit confused. I wasn't expecting this kind of reception honestly."

"You were expecting to be threatened or attacked." Despite her words, Esme looked amused.

"Well… kinda?"

She laughed this time, "I suppose I can't blame you all things considered. And it's not like things were very welcoming. I didn't think it would escalate that quickly."

"You were expecting that lot to be calm?"

"More like I was hoping. I hate it when they fight like that. And they've been doing it a lot more recently…" Esme trailed off.

I bit my lip, brows furrowed, "I'm sorry." I whispered.

She looked at me surprised, "What for?"

"It's all my fault, isn't it? All this infighting?"

Understanding, Esme tilted her head sympathetically. "Oh, sweetheart don't be silly. This kind of situation was bound to happen sometime, someone was going to recognise us. As Carlise said, fear makes us do silly things sometimes, and when you have such strong personalities like my children have, dealing with something like this is bound to cause some explosions. Besides, it isn't all about you… There was that situation with Bella too.

"If it's any consolation, while she is suspicious, I don't think Bella has put all the pieces together."

She smiled, "Two new girls in town and both of them find us out in record time."

"That really is some bad luck." I grinned in return.

"Perhaps…" She gave me a knowing look, "If half of the things Alice has told us are true, then maybe it isn't all bad luck."

"Alice… has she said a lot about me?"

"Trust me, since she discovered you were here she hasn't stopped talking about you. All good things I promise."

Warmth and pride flooded my chest, a large part of me pleased to know Alice spoke so highly of me, even after all this time.

"Can I ask…" I pursed my lips not sure where to start, "Why… why are you so willing to… well, not get rid of me. Why aren't you all running again?"

Esme didn't speak for a few moments, analysing my face. I felt exposed, fearful of the answer. But I stayed firm and looked her in the eye.

There's that sad smile again. Her eye's seemed to hold years of secrets and thoughts, and I could feel how old she was under that perfect, young vision.

"Some of us, want to let Alice make up for lost time. She didn't want to leave Canada, she felt so guilty leaving you alone, especially with how things were with you. But she saw that no matter what, we always ended up exposed, or you ended up…"

"Dead." I whispered it, unsure how to feel.

Esme nodded, continuing, "...so we left. But somehow you managed to find us again." A smile, "The amount of convincing it took the rest of them to keep Alice from rushing to you when you appeared at the school… She was determined that this time would be different, the amount of arguing in the days that followed," She tutted, "They even broke one of my favourite vases!"

I breathed out a laugh at her mother like manner, and let her continue.

"We are so settled here, it gets hard sometimes, constantly having to move around, especially when we haven't been here very long. And really we should have gone as soon as you figured us out, but Alice wouldn't have it. She kicked up such a fuss as you can imagine. She said she had seen all possible futures and none of them involved you exposing us, not if we actually explained ourselves this time… You know, it's actually quite nice to be so open for once. Outside of the family I mean."

"Well, I appreciate you being so open with me. I promise I don't mean your family any harm. I was stupid-"

"I think you were very rational! I mean I can't imagine how scary it must be to discover vampires are real, never mind that a whole clan of them live in the town where the people you care about live."

I smiled in thanks, grateful that she was so understanding.

"... though next time, just come in the front door."

"I'm so sorry!" I bowed my head, cringing, though I perked up when I heard Esme's teasing laugh.

She sobered after a moment, and hesitantly, almost asking for permission, she lay her hand on mine again. "I'm very sorry about your dad, Clara."

A pained pang hit me momentarily, but I pushed it away, overtaken by curiosity, "How did you…"

Her raised eyebrow was all I needed.

"Alice." We said it at the same time, giggling.

"I'm just going to presume from now on, anything else you magically know about me, that it was all Alice's doing."

"A wise decision."

We giggled again, then I was the one to sober this time.

"Thank you by the way. It's been a while, but I'm still dealing with it in my own way I think."

"Of course. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I felt a huge urge to hug the woman in front of me. How kind she had been despite how I had acted up to now. Perhaps all vampires aren't so scary.

I looked at her curiously, "How many of you have these magic powers anyway? You know, like Alice's future seeing thing. And she told me all about Edward's mind-reading stuff."

"It is just those two and Jasper who have 'magic powers'."

"Jasper too? What can he do?"

"He can… feel emotions, manipulate them. So if you're feeling sad, he will feel that and say, could make you feel happy. You get the idea."

"Oh, wow. I didn't know that." Is that why I suddenly felt calm earlier? Or the fear I felt in the Forks High School car park?

There was a minute of quiet as I contemplated this new information, unknowingly sipping on the not-so-nice coffee.

"Now!" Esme stood in a flash, and I once again jumped in surprise, though strangely it didn't freak me out as much as it had before. "Alice said you're an artist."

"Of course she did." I rolled my eyes. "I mean I wouldn't say an artist, but I like to draw and paint-"

"Perfect!" She grasped my hands in hers and pulled me up, bringing me toward a blank wall. "I need an artist's opinion. What do you think would be the perfect kind of painting for this wall? I have been wracking my brain and I just cannot get it right. I'm so picky."

"Oh gosh… Uh…" I took in the space, the colour of the paint, putting together in my head what I would put there if I lived here."

"Oh," Esme looked toward the living room suddenly. "They're done! Tell you what, have a think and let me know." She smiled cheerfully and began walking back to the living room.

It took me a moment to realise I should be following her, and so I hurried after her, curious to see the outcome of the family argument.

It was only Alice and Carlise left in the room when Esme and I arrived. Squealing, Alice ran toward me, knocking the wind out of me with a hug.

"You'd think I disappeared for another few years with that kind of reaction." I quipped, patting her gently on the back.

"We're staying!" She said excitedly. "In Forks. I'm not going to leave you, and this time everything is out in the open!"

Her excitement was infectious, and I couldn't help but let myself be engulfed by it, determined to push the pessimistic, doubtful thoughts to the side. If anything bad would come of this, Alice would have seen it by now? Right?

"Oh, this is great!" Alice continued babbling, "You can come over all the time now!"

"Alice! I don't want to intrude-"

"You are more than welcome over anytime Clara." Carlisle had joined his wife, an arm comfortingly around her waist. "Don't worry about the others, they will warm up to the idea soon enough, they're just worried."

I gulped back the guilt once again, "I promise not to cause any problems for you all. I appreciate you trusting me with your… secret."

Mr and Mrs Cullen smiled so brightly at me, so casually that it almost felt like I was just visiting my friend after school.

"Where did everyone else go, by the way?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Alice rolled her eyes, but it was Carlise that answered, "Don't worry, they all went to calm down a bit. As you can imagine, a vampire's temper can cause a lot of damage."

"Yes, I heard about a broken vase of two." I laughed as Alice pouted.

"It wasn't my fault! Rosalie shouldn't have ducked. She definitely could have caught that!"

Laughter filled the room, and I enjoyed the light atmosphere that was present in the air, compared to the suffocating one I had felt when I first stepped through the threshold of a vampire clan.

A VAMPIRE CLAN. Honestly, I wanted to nerd out a bit. I was in the midst of a vampire clan, and for the most part, they were accepting of me! How exciting (terrifying).

Oh my god, I need to pee.

Suddenly the nervous pee I must have been holding in for a while now was bursting.

Please have running water!

"Um… Not to be totally human and all, but do you guys have a bathroom."

Alice snorted with laughter and I scowled.

Much kinder, Esme pointed me in the right direction, and I hurried off with the directions I was given. I came to a stop in a familiar corridor. I had been here before.

I hurried into the bathroom, very conscious that any vampires in the vicinity could hear me relieving myself.

"How embarrassing," I muttered.

I took a moment to breathe, enjoying the cool air of the bathroom, and splashing cold water on my face. I tidied myself, feeling slightly more confident than before.

A few minutes later I exited the room and walked back down the hall (With slightly less urgency).

This time I noticed one of the doors ajar. It was the office door, the one I had entered on my first trip here. I moved forward, peeking inside.

I inhaled a breath. Jasper stood with his back to me at the desk, but I knew he had heard me already.

"Oh my goodness, is this not the bathroom? My mistake." I turned to leave but his voice stopped me.

"You already used the bathroom."

I scowled at his back, my cheeks heating up, "You don't have to call me out like that you know."

He finally turned to me, bemusement written on his face. He raised an eyebrow.

"Can I help you with something?"

I cleared my throat, shuffling. I contemplated making something up for a moment but decided to just tell the truth.

I shrugged, "I was just being nosey."

"Now that is shocking."

"What can I say, I love a good mystery."

"Uh-huh."

God this is so awkward, yet he looks so neutral, he never gives anything away does he.

"So.." I started, trying to keep friendly, "I guess we'll be seeing more of each other from now on."

Silence is my response, a blank stare. SAY SOMETHING.

"Perhaps it would be nice to get to know each other a bit, who knows maybe we could be friends?"

If Alice, Esme and Carlisle were so welcoming, I should at least make an effort to be on friendly terms with the others (it might help lessen the chance of them mauling me in my sleep).

"No thanks." the casual unbothered way he said it offended me.

"Why not?" I said defensively. I'M FUN!

"I have no interest in getting to know you or being friends with a human. I will tolerate you for Alice's sake, nothing more."

Ouch.

"You really don't like me do you?"

"I have no feelings toward you." he was still using that casual tone, and it was starting to grate on me, and I now knew he could feel my growing annoyance and I gladly let him.

Dick.

He continued, "Im not interested enough in you to care. What I do care about is the danger you are putting us in."

"If anyone has the potential to be in danger I reckon it's the human." I rolled my eyes.

"And yet you gladly walk into said danger. You really must have a death wish."

"Quite the opposite actually. But Alice meant a lot to me, and I don't want to lose her again. So maybe you aren't happy but I'm glad you're all staying. I want you to stay."

He said nothing. But his eyes narrowed a fraction and I could practically see the cogs turning in his head.

I kept going, "Don't you remember what it was like to have friends. You know, the non-immortal variety."

Jasper's eyes seemed to look right past me, "that was a long time ago. And it is not a time that I wish to remember."

He focused on me again, "Alice is the most important thing to me, she… helped me when no one else could. So I won't pretend to be happy with her being so eager, but as I said, I will tolerate it. For her."

I watched him carefully then spoke, "The way you talk about her… are you two… like… a thing."

He rolled his eyes, "No, we are not a thing. Why? Do we have to be in a relationship to care about one another?"

"No!" I said hastily, "I was just-"

"Being nosey."

"Being nosey", I mocked his words. It was childish I knew, but the smug look on his face made me feel that way.

I huffed, "you're impossible."

He shrugged as if to say yes. At least we agreed on something.

"Fine." I said, "then I will simply tolerate you too. And we won't have to talk to each other or do anything fun, or- or… pretend the other exists."

"That would be hard, you are very loud for a human. It's so hard to ignore you."

I see what he was doing. He was trying to get a rise out of me, it was amusing him to see the silly human flustered. Well, I would certainly not give him the satisfaction, even if I did want to stomp my foot and storm off.

"I'm leaving."

"Oh no, and here we were having such a lovely conversation."

I turned away, huffing from the room. "you are insufferable." I closed the door as I exited.

But I could have sworn I heard a deep, genuine laughter float out after me.

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirteen -

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

It's my own design

It's my own remorse

Help me to decide

Help me make the most

Of freedom and of pleasure

Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

"Clara… Clara… CLARA!"

I snorted back a snore, lifting my head from its resting place on the floor. I blinked away the sleep from my eyes, taking in my surroundings.

Oh yes.

I sat up and back on my heels. The paint on the large canvas laying on the floor had thankfully dried. I gave a small nod pleased at what I had done so far. Setting it to the side, I stood up, my body aching from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position on my bedroom floor.

Hearing the front door close I was reminded of my wake-up call by my mother. Where is she off to? What time is it?

Checking my watch, I felt pained, 5:45 on a Friday.

WHY IS SHE WAKING ME AT THIS TIME.

I hurried down the stairs, grabbing an apple from the kitchen as I headed out of the house.

There was my mother across the road at Charlie's car.

"What are you wearing?" I asked as I approached.

Sally turned quickly, the bucket hat on her head flopping, obscuring her vision so much that she had to hold her head back just to see me. She beamed at me. "There you are!" She spread her arms, turning to show off her outfit. "What do you think?"

"Have you decided to change professions to a fisherman?"

"Charlie is taking me fishing!"

"Is he now?" My eyebrow rose in amusement, "Speak of the devil."

Charlie was coming toward us, fishing rods in hand.

"Oi Swan," I said, "I heard you're taking my mom fishing."

"Well she said she always wanted to go, so I offered to take her with me."

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "Did she?" I glanced at my mom who was making a point of not meeting my eye. I could not think of anything my mom would want to do less. I crossed my arms, "Can't wait to see what you catch."

As Charlie turned to put the rods in her car, my mom glared at me. "Shh."

"Uh-huh." I turned taking a bite from my apple, "You two love birds have fun."

I laughed out loud this time when Charlie hit his head on the car and my mom sputtered and blushed. "Clara!" She whined.

I swear it was like a pair of high school kids.

"When are you coming back?"

Charlie cleared her throat, "Two days give or take."

"Try not to burn the house down." My mom moved to climb in the car.

"I make no promises." Another bite from my apple, and I jogged up the porch back into the house.

I jumped in the bath, hoping the hot water would help ease my aching limbs, and help me wake up. Water droplets from my hair splattered onto my drawing pad, causing the pencil to smudge as I sketched.

The pad had become a way for me to confirm what I was seeing was real. A way to take the memories in my head and cement them into reality. It had been days since I had entered into a strange relationship with the Cullen Clan. Thankfully, thus far no one seemed to have noticed that I had been spending most of my free time with what seemed to be a bunch of high schoolers.

When I was at the Cullen's I spent most of my time with Alice and Esme, Carlisle was usually at work, and the others seemed to avoid me when they could. But they seemed the be tolerating me at the very least, and I'll call that progress.

I jumped as my phone rang. Throwing my pencil to the ground, I picked up and answered my phone.

"Hiya."

"You want to come over? I made too much food and need to eat it all before I leave for school." I could hear the sizzling from a frying pan from the background as Bella spoke.

"What are we talking about here? Is there bacon?"

"Obviously."

"You really know how to butter me up, Bella. I'll be over in 15."

I was too lazy to dry my hair, my stomach calling me to the Swan residence. I let myself into the house like it was my own, plopping myself down at the table.

"Bella you are an angel." I sighed as she set a plate of food in front of me.

"Uh-huh," she rolled her eyes, sitting opposite me. "Have you been working loads? I haven't seen you in a few days."

"Been missing me?" I smirked. "I've… just been really busy, you know? I've been working on a big art project, so I've spent a lot of time painting."

"Can I see?"

"Maybe, when I'm done. How's school been, Is anything interesting happening?"

"No." Bella stabbed her food a bit too aggressively.

"Wow, what did those eggs ever do to you?"

Bella paused, sighing and throwing her fork down. She chewed her lip, "Edward."

I tried not to react to the name, leaning my face on my hand in interest, "Go on."

"He's full-on pretending I don't exist. It's so frustrating. And I'm so annoyed that I care so much. But then…. He saved me. Ugh, he's so annoying." She went back to mashing her food.

"I agree." Bella looked up at me, "you know, based on what you've told me."

"Whatever, I don't even want to talk about him anymore. I have to endure it in a while anyway."

We quickly let the conversation flow into something more pleasant and casual as we downed our breakfast. After helping Bella clean up, I walked with her to her truck.

I was saying goodbye to Bella when there was a loud revving, and multiple voices shouting my name. Bella and I turned alarmed.

"What-?" Bella started.

"Clara!" Addy practically hung out of the window, as Joe punched the horn constantly.

"Oi! Miller, get your ass over here!" Aaron shouted from the backseat, and I laughed seeing Grace, who sat next to him, give him a gentle hit on the arm, scolding him.

Turning to Bella with an apologetic look, I indicated behind me, "I should go before they wake the whole street up."

"Yeah, good luck with that." Bella laughed, pulled the car out of the drive and took off for school.

I ran to the car parked in front of my house, "Would you stop making so much noise!" It's before 8 am you know!"

"Go pack your bag! We're off to Port Angeles, baby!" Addy left the car, heading toward my house.

"Forgive me, I think I've missed something." I followed her up the porch steps, the sound of car doors slamming indicating the others were following suit.

"Where do you keep the coffee?" Addy asked, hoking through cupboards. "Ah, found it. Coffee everyone?"

Several chants of yes and Addy got to work.

"You're all far too awake for my liking," I said.

"I could say the same to you," Joe threw himself down onto the sofa, "I was expecting you to be drooling on your pillow at this time."

"I don't drool."

"Uh-huh, sure. Bet you snore too."

"I do not!" I definitely did. "Asshole," I muttered seeing him laugh, but I couldn't keep the smile from my face. "Would someone please tell me what is happening?"

Grace spoke up, "Kate is hosting a DJ party in Port Angles tonight and told us all to come. So of course we had to oblige."

"Sounds messy," I grinned, "I can't wait."

"Yes!" Addy skipped over to us, coffee mugs in hands, "it's going to be amazing. Wait till you see Clara, Kate's parties are the best! Always an unforgettable night. So get that coffee down you because we aren't going to be sleeping, tonight ladies and gents."

"Where are we staying?" I asked Grace.

"Well, Kate lives there so we can crash at hers." She took a sip, hissing as she burnt her tongue.

"No shit. Brilliant. I thought she lived in Forks, how did I miss this?"

"Well, last time we were together in a room, you were a little too drunk to ask her anything really."

I stuck my tongue out at Grace in reply.

She laughed then continued, "She comes back from time to time, to see her family, her younger sister still goes to school here, but Port Angeles was better for Kate in terms of work, so she left like two years ago now I think."

After our coffee break, I went upstairs to pack what I needed. I bit my nails, unsure of what to wear. I hadn't been out properly in what felt like ages. Peaking down the stairs I called Grace up, knowing she would be the best person to get advice from.

We shifted through my wardrobe contemplating our choices.

"Hmm…" Grace pulled out a few different pieces, holding them up in front of me. "Okay. These jeans, this top, and these boots."

I took in her choice, in particular, that low cut top I hadn't worn in a long time and felt a bit unsure, "Do you think so?"

"Uh, Duh! You're gonna look sexy."

I snorted. "Well if you insist, I wouldn't want to disappoint."

"Yay." She clapped her hands together.

I gathered up the rest of my things, and hopped into the car, sitting in the back with Grace and Aaron, whilst Addy sat in the front with Joe who was driving.

"Where's Sophie by the way?" I asked as we took off driving.

"She had other plans today, but she said she's going to come later on. Which is good news for us because she'll be sober and able to do the long drive home the next day." Aaron answered.

"If we make it to the next day," said Grace, "With how these things usually go, I'll be shocked if Sophie isn't driving you lot home tonight, while you vomit out the window."

"Ew!" We all laughed.

I admired the views that rolled past us, greens and browns, trees towering over us on both sides, the fresh nature air filling my lungs as the wind flowed through my hair. Washington really was beautiful.

We stopped halfway to our destination to pick up some booze and snacks, and as we drove off again, a large bag of pretzels was passed around and finished in an instant. Joe and Addy kept fighting over what CD to play, as the three of us in the back competed in a game of thumb war.

It was times like this that made me love being in my twenties. Thinking on it, coming to Forks was the best decision I had made, for the first time in a long time, even before Nick and I broke up, I actually felt alive. And that was down to everyone who had entered my life. Both the Natural and the supernatural.

The drive flew by and before I knew it we were in Port Angeles, so much more full of life than our pretty little Forks. Our first agreed mission was to find somewhere for food. After a quick phone call, we met Kate at her favourite place.

"Hello, fellow Forkians!" Kate announced arms spread wide in greetings. I bit my lip to stop from laughing as people leaving the restaurant walked awkwardly around her.

"Forkians." Addy said in disgust. "Never call me that again you weirdo."

Addy pushed past her, eager to get to the food. Kate looked so dejected with her arms open that I felt obliged to move forward and fill them. I gave her an excited hug, and couldn't keep the grin from my face when she gave a childish 'yay' in my ear.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said as I pulled back.

Kate squished my cheeks, "Of course! We need our lovely Clara! Wait till you try the food here." She pulled me toward the entrance. "It's the best greasiest most unhealthy food you'll ever have."

"Oh great," Joe quipped, "I've always wanted clogged arteries."

I was quite thankful that there weren't many in the diner, as I wouldn't envy sitting beside our group i

Kate shoved food in her mouth, "I'll have to leave early to set up, but I trust you all not to wreck my place while I'm gone."

"A terrible decision really." Aaron nicked a fry from Kates plate, narrowly avoiding her fork as she tried to attack him.

"Thank you, Katie," Grace said sweetly. "Here have some of my fries."

"Oh my God, get out of her ass," Addy spoke through a full mouth, "that is a false smile, you just want the guest room with the comfy bed, tonight."

Grace blinked innocently, "Who? Me? I would never."

"Uh-huh."

"Right so, trust me okay?" Joe leant closer to me as though he was about to reveal a huge.

I leant on my hand, "I'm listening."

I held back a snort at his serious expression. He walked me through the process of taking a freshly made fry and dipping it into a milkshake. Biting into the soggy, strawberry fry, Joe sighed, "Like being in Heaven."

I couldn't hold back the snort, my laugh breaking him from my milkshake fry daydream. He was not deterred. Repeating the motion, Joe offered me a fry. I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, "That is disgusting."

"Don't you trust me, Lara?" I bit the inside of my cheek then scoffed. Leaning forward I took a bite, letting the taste linger on my tastebuds.

"Hm…" I stroked my chin in fake contemplation, "I have to admit that you sir, might actually be correct for once." I turned to point at him, "What?"

He was looking at the remains of the fry perched between his fingers, his face turning pink.

"You okay Joesph?" I asked concerned.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah!" Without thinking, Joe chucked the fry in a random direction. I watched it fly across the table and hit Aaron right in the face.

"Ah! My eye!"

The whole table burst out laughing.

Addy wolf-whisted, making me throw the nearest pillow at her, "Ah! Not the face! This makeup took forever."

"Don't make fun of me okay, I'm not a seasoned partier!"

"I'm not!" She skipped toward me, perfect plaits flying behind her. "I'm saying you look great."

"You think so?" I whispered so the others couldn't hear. Everyone looked great, I hadn't seen any of them dressed for a big night out and I hoped I fit in.

"Duh, between Graces perfect hair curling, and my amazing makeup skills how could you not." She turned speaking louder now, "We're just three sexy single ladies… And you two."

"Two strapping young men?" Aaron offered.

"Not the words I would use."

"Your words always cut deep Addy," Joe said.

"And yet you keep coming back for more."

"Lads, ladies" I announced, "Shall we go?"

"Hell yes!"

The cosy venue was exactly what I would expect from Kate. Slightly… Edgy, dull lights and a mixture of people of all shapes and sizes. It was like nowhere I had been. As we continued through the labyrinth of small corridors, dodging between groups of people, the sound of punk rock grew louder and louder.

Inside was the main floor was packed, the air smelt of smoke and alcohol. Addy pulled us toward the closest bar, buying a round of shots. God knows what it was but it burnt my throat and caused a buzz. I laughed at the disgust on everyone's face.

Aaron, gagged, "That was horrible." He slammed the shot glass back onto the counter, turning to the bartender, "Another round!"

"Cheers!" We downed another, the alcohol warming me up already.

"Beer?" Joe asked.

I nodded, "I'll get the next one."

We managed to push our way to a spot near the front, and when Kate came on, hair wild, downing a drink, we screamed with the rest of the crowd. The atmosphere was electric, and I didn't care if I looked like a fool as I danced along to the music. I couldn't help but grin as I watched Kate in her element.

A pang of jealousy hit me. I wish I had a direction like Kate, that I knew what I wanted and just took it.

Kate spotted me staring in the crowd, and waved furiously. My smile widened and I set her a thumbs up jumping up and down.

"You're doing amazing!"

"Thank you!" I could barely hear her, the music overwhelming my ears.

Many more drinks and I felt like I had endless amounts of energy. I also knew this was going to hurt in the morning.

I was at the bar, waiting for my drinks when I felt a pair of arms surround me.

"Hi!" Sophie shouted over the music.

"Sophie you made it!" My words were starting to slur.

Sophie giggled, "I knew this would happen. I bet the others are just as bad."

"I don't know what you mean Soph, I'm perfectly fine." To prove this I tilted forward and would have fallen over if not for the girl in front of me.

"Sure thing." Sophie leaned forward, thanking the barman and handing me my drinks.

We headed back into the crowd, navigating our way back to the group. Addy was doing a strange dance, her limbs wriggling everywhere, Grace looked perfect of course (minus the red stain down her dress) and God only knows what the boys were doing. Sophie headed toward the stage to see Kate, as I went to interrupt Joe.

"Are you having a seizure? What is that?"

"What do you mean!" He put a hand on his chest, offended, "This is the art of dance."

"Sure thing hotshot. Here." I handed him a beer, "My round, remember."

"Lara, you're after my own heart."

"Uh-huh."

"Come on." Joe grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him. I giggled as he began spinning me, pulling me back and forth. We continued like that for a while, drinking and giggling. Dancing like two drunken high schoolers at a secret house party. The music became calmer as things wound down. I didn't realise how close we were, my head on his shoulder, enjoying the view of the flashing lights.

He whispered in my ear, "You look really great tonight."

I paused a minute at his words, it took me a minute to comprehend what he had said. When had I last heard something like that from a guy? Nick wasn't a big complimenter toward the end. I suppose I didn't realise how nice it was to hear until it was happening.

I pulled back slightly, enough to take in his face properly. His eyes were slightly hooded and his breath smelled of beer and cigarette smoke. He really was quite handsome, with his dark eyes and dark hair.

I don't know if it was the alcohol or the atmosphere. Maybe it was the yearning to feel loved again, a romantic love, to be touched, that prompted me to lean forward. It was a soft kiss, hesitant and slightly messy. It was sweet and didn't last too long. I could only imagine my face was as flushed as his.

No spark.

A look must have crossed my face, as Joe leant forward, concerned, "Clara are you okay?"

"In think… I just need some air, I don't feel very well." I slurred out, and stumbled through the crowd, his concerned voice following me.

I feel bad.

Everything was blurring together, my senses overwhelmed. I made my way outside and sat on the curb. And then I lay on the curb. And then I threw up on the curb.

Ah, what a night.

I closed my eyes and floated off into my dreams.

I was moving, it was a steady movement that didn't require me to do anything. Oh, that's a slight breeze hitting my face.

What am I leaning on? It was cold. Nice.

When I opened my eyes it took my drunken mind a moment to focus. Where was I?

Trees moved past me quickly, greens and browns. I saw something moving in the trees? Is that someone running? And there are people chasing them.

Wait.

I sat up straight, pressing my face up against the car window, the flash of red hair disappeared in a blink of an eye.

Did someone just get attacked?

"Hey, there sleeping beauty." Sophie looked at me in the rearview mirror of her car. Aaron was snoring in the front seat beside Soph and I sat alone in the back.

"What happened?" My memory was hazy.

"Well, I think you may have had one too many shots, Clarabelle, because you threw up and passed out on the sidewalk."

"Oh god." I groaned, burying my face in my hands. Taking a deep breath I looked up, "Where is everyone else?"

"They're crashing at Kate's. Aaron wanted to come home," She glanced at her brother, the whispered, "he gets very delicate after he drinks."

I Snorted, "I think he and I have that in common." My words still slurred, God how much did I drink.

"We shouldn't be that long, about 20 minutes from Forks I reckon. You can stay at ours." She glanced at me again, and I could see her amusement from the way I was contently swaying to the movement of the car, "I hope you had a good time at least."

I smiled, "The best night. I can't exactly remember it all right now, but I remember it being spectacular. Remind me to text Kate tomorrow to thank her again."

We spent the rest of the time chatting quietly, and I enjoyed the cool breeze on my flushed skin.

I wonder what the Cullen's are up to. What do they do at night since they couldn't sleep?

I could see the turnoff for their road coming up.

"Sophie, turn here."

"What?"

"Turn, turn, turn!" I leant forward pointing to the barely visible road. Sophie took a sharp turn, Aaron's face slamming into the window, shocking him awake. Sophie was almost too shocked to stop driving.

"Oh god, what the hell." Aaron groaned, disoriented.

"Um, Clara. What are we doing?" Sophie asked.

"I want to see the Cullen's"

Sophie shared a look with Aaron.

"Clara it's the middle of the night."

"Don't worry, they'll be awake."

"How do you know?"

"They're my friends."

"Eh?" Sophie just looked more baffled than she did to begin with, "Since when."

I waved away the question, "details, details. Trust me. They won't mind."

"Okaayy…"

We came to a stop at the house and as I suspected the lights were on. The two siblings oohed and awwed in admiration. I stumbled from the car, and after a few minutes of back and forth and a promise to call if anything went wrong, Sophie hesitantly drove off. When I turned back around I almost wasn't surprised to see a number of figures standing at the window. Rosalie (furious of course), Emmett (amused) and Esme (very shocked) looked as though they didn't know what to do.

I waved grinning, the force of the movement making me stumble, "Hey guys!"

I could see Emmett laughing, and I could imagine the booming noise it would be.

"Rosie!" I shouted, "You need to stop looking so angry all the time, you look like you smelled something gross. And we all know that's not possible because I'm sure I smell delicious."

As Emmett jumped to restrain Rosalie, I fell over nothing and hit the ground.

"I would really appreciate if a super-strong vampire could come and get me-"

"Would you stop shouting!" Edward hissed at me. I jumped. He was standing beside me looking down.

"When did you get here?" I asked, struggling to get up.

A strong hand gripped my arm and brought me gently to my feet.

"Clara! As soon as I saw you were coming we rushed back. Is everything okay?"

"She's drunk," Jasper stated.

"Well done captain obvious." I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you," I clung to Alice like a child, "I wanted to see if you turned into bats at night."

There's that booming laugh. Emmett had joined us outside. Scoffing, Edward hurried inside. I blew a raspberry after him.

"Some of your family really need to learn to smile more." I leaned forward using my fingers to push Jasper's mouth up into a smile. "See."

"Okay you, let's go." Emmett went to lift me, and I stumbled away karate chopping at him.

"No going fast. I will throw up all over you, I swear."

Alice giggled, and Emmett grinned. He put his hands up in defence.

"Okay, how about this?" Emmett moved behind me, and I was momentarily confused when my feet left the ground. And then I realised Emmett had grasped me under my armpits and lifted me enough to start walking. I appreciated the slow and steady pace at which he moved, not sure my stomach could take any sudden fast movements.

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him in thanks, as we crossed the threshold of the Cullen home.

"Wee!" I childishly swung my legs back and forth, enjoying the ride. When we entered the living room where everyone else had gathered, Emmett set me carefully on my feet."

Esme appeared next to me, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders, "You poor thing, you look freezing." She guided me to the sofa. She disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

Carlisle smiled amused as he kneeled before me, "How much did you have."

"Too much I think."

"You have vomit in your hair," Rosalie said in disgust.

"Probably." I nodded. Esme returned with a glass of water and some painkillers.

"I only got these the other day, but I'm glad I did." Esme helped me down the tablets, wiping the water that dribbled down my chin."

"You really are a child." Edward scoffed.

I put my hand to my ear, looking anywhere but him, "Hmm? Did anyone hear that? Was that the wind?"

"Clara you can come and sleep in my room! I want to hear what you were doing all night!"

"Clara, should we tell your mother you're here?" Carlise asked in concern as Alice helped me up.

"Nah, she's not going to be home for two days or something. She's fishing."

Everyone began to disperse as Alice led me away.

"See you in the morning, Clara," Esme smiled.

I waved, sleepily. When did I get so tired?

I glanced back into the room once more, spotting Jasper standing in the background. I gestured to him and mouthed 'smile.'

He hesitated, and then…

I think the image of that smile will be burned into my brain forever.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fourteen - Home

Oh, home, let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

Oh, home, let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

Home- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Holy Shit.

I have never felt pain like it. Is this what death feels like? Is this the end?

Goodbye cruel world, I accomplished nothing in my twenty-three years of life, nice knowing you.

I can even see the light! The light at the end of the tunnel-

Huh? What's that noise? Is that… I didn't realise there was a good phone connection in the afterlife.

I opened my eyes.

Ah. I'm not dead. The light is just the sun, and I'm feeling the repercussions of my foolish foolish actions.

"Oh my god STOP ringing." I pulled the pillow over my head, groaning as my phone refused to listen to my request.

"Ugh." Without removing the pillow from my throbbing head, I felt around on the floor until I grasped what I was looking for and put it to my ear (still under the pillow).

"Hello?" My voice cracked and squeaked. Good god, how loud was I singing last night? Feels like I've swallowed glass.

"Clara!"

I sat up slightly, confused. "Sophie?"

"Oh thank god! Are you okay?"

"I mean I have the worst hangover of my life and will probably never drink again, but apart from that yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Sophie huffed on the other end of the line, "Well you could have texted me back! I've been worried sick all night! I was going to go back and get you but it was so late and Aaron was throwing up everywhere-"

"What are you talking about?" I racked my brain. Didn't she say I was staying at hers last night? "Come get me where?"

"The Cullen's you idiot! I was worried you had decided to wander around the woods by yourself or something after the news."

I sat up straight now, a hand instantly moving to massage my forehead at the shooting pain that struck me. Damn those shots.

"What do you mean the Cull-"

I stopped. It was only now that I realised I wasn't in my bed or Addy's bed. Where am I?

There was a feeling of familiarity.

Ohmygod!

I'm in Alice's room in Alice's bed. Oh nooooooo.

Oh, no no no no no.

Now it was coming back to me. I made Sophie leave me here last night.

I bit my knuckle in embarrassment.

"Hey Soph, can I call you back in a bit?"

"Oh, yeah yeah. As long as you're okay."

"I am, don't worry." I am not, do worry, send help.

"Well then if you excuse me, I'm going to go to sleep for a week."

I hung up the phone and stared around the room. I remember now. It was the room where Alice had my drawing. I smiled fondly.

And then I cringed.

Hard.

Who lets me go out? Why does trouble always find me?

Or perhaps, I always find trouble.

I sat in the safe haven of Alice's room for a bit longer and replied to any text messages I had, enjoying the soft light that glowed through the window.

It was when I stood up that I noticed I was no longer in my clothes from the night before. I was wearing a pair of what seemed like silk pyjamas, a perfect fit of course.

Alice.

Enjoying the flowing nature of the sleeves and bottoms, I took my time wandering from the house down into the living room.

No one around. Hmm.

I spun, but there was no one in sight. Where were they all? Where was Alice?

It was then that I noticed the noises coming from the kitchen, and my feet began to move in the same direction.

As I approached the door, I could smell burning food, and what sounded like Esme muttering 'Oh, shoot.'

"Wow, are we having a campfire in here? What's with all the smoke?" I laughed, waving my hand in front of my face to move the grey clouds.

"Clara!" Esme turned with a frantic smile, "Good morning! How are you feeling?"

I was moving to open some windows, trying to ignore the way the smell of the smoke was making my stomach churn.

"Well, I feel like each part of my body has a different ailment and I drunkenly embarrassed myself to a bunch of immortals, again, so I suppose you could say I've been better." I smiled as I turned toward Esme, the air finally clearing.

I took in a nice deep breath of fresh air.

Esme gave me a look that was both of sympathy and amusement.

"We were all pretty surprised that you showed up to be honest." She admitted, then furrowed her brow, "In fact, it took us a minute to even realise it was you. We weren't sure who was pulling up outside last night."

I tilted my head, "What do you mean?"

Esme waved her hand, "It's nothing, honestly. You've probably just been spending a lot of time around us. Sometimes you're… uh… blood- It doesn't smell as, well-"

"Appealing?" I offered, the situation was almost comical.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," Esme chuckled, she pursed her lips in thought, "it's sometimes like your sort of foggy, takes a minute to notice you. Especially around other humans."

"Hmm… trying to figure out whether that's a compliment or an insult."

Esme laughed. "Considering your current situation, it isn't necessarily a bad thing."

I nodded in agreement. I suppose you can't have too many safety precautions around vampires. I tapped the counter, nodding my head in indication, "What are you doing anyway?"

I swear if Esme was human she would have been blushing. She had such a sheepish look on her face, and the way she tried to hide whatever was behind her meant I just had to go investigate. Walking toward her, I began to notice the mess that littered the countertops. Behind Esme there sat a frying pan, with what I could only guess was burnt bacon in it.

I cleared my throat, "Looks… crispy."

"Oh, I tried to make you a nice breakfast but everything always ended up undercooked or overcooked."

"Gosh, it really does make me feel better that there are some things that vampires aren't good at."

Looking around the kitchen I took in what ingredients were left in the mess: Bacon, eggs, pancakes. Perfect.

I looked to Esme, "Well I appreciate the thought. Cooking is all about practice, so why don't we start over."

And so I spent the morning showing Esme how to put things in a pan and cook them just right. It was amusing and somewhat heartwarming to watch her light up like a child. Of course, she picked things up very quickly, and soon I was sitting at the table shovelling as much pancake in my mouth as possible, whilst Esme cleaned up.

"Where is everyone by the way?" I was surprised I hadn't seen Alice yet.

Esme walked over to me with a tall glass of orange juice and a few painkillers. Clearly, the wrinkle on my forehead as I nursed my hangover was very obvious. "Thanks."

"Alice and Edward are away hunting. They didn't get to last night because of your arrival. Don't worry though, "she added quickly, "they are more than capable of coping with a slight delay."

I gave a small smile, shuttering slightly at the thought of a hunt. I turned to look out the window, taking in the green.

After an extremely long hot shower where I scrubbed off the smell of last night's activities and burnt bacon from this morning. Unsure of where my clothes from last night were, I just stayed in my new flashy PJs and took to wandering outside, the cool air mixed with my damp hair caused a shiver to run through me, but I welcomed it. Forget the need to conceal themselves; as I enjoyed the quiet of the nature surrounding me, the birds flittering about above me, and the perfect chaos of the flowers, both wild and manicured, I could see why anyone would be drawn to live in such a place.

The air is almost more refreshing here, I pondered.

I bit back a squeak as a tiny rabbit bounced into my view. I moved slowly, kneeling low. I ripped some of the grass in front of me from the ground and held it out toward the bunny.

It turned to sniff, hesitating.

Is this my Disney Princess moment?!

Nevermind. It took one look in my direction and scurried away as fast as possible. I pouted.

And then I screamed.

A loud crashing could be heard behind me, and in my attempt to face it from my kneeling position, I fell over, throwing the small handful of grass at the source of the noise.

Emmett merely watched the grass float to the ground a few inches away from me, then looked up with an eyebrow raised.

"That was pretty pathetic, even for you."

I huffed, blowing the hair from my face. "Well, what did you expect me to do? Give you a dance?"

"I just thought someone with your supernatural interest would be more prepared for an assault than just throwing some greenery."

I rolled my eyes, clumsily pushing myself up from the ground.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" I asked, eyeing up the thick branches he had dropped to the ground.

"May have escaped your notice, but I do live here."

"I was more referring to the torn apart tree you are carrying around."

Emmett began pulling the wood apart with ease, breaking it into smaller chunks. It was amusing and somewhat sweet to see a hulk of a man sitting cross-legged on the ground, focusing intently on something.

From his lack of an answer, I decided to invite myself to join, sitting beside him. I watched for a while, neither of us saying anything, just the occasional sound of wood cracking somewhat delicately. Soon he began separating the wood into piles according to size, and without prompting, I joined in.

What a strange kind of comfortable we had fallen into.

Then… a strange kind of feeling overcame me, as though I was being watched, eyes boring into my head. I turned, looking up toward the house, and was met with the sight of what seemed to be a statue. Or at least that's what I would have thought it was if I had not grown somewhat used to Jasper's Stoney presence.

He did not react to me catching him staring, though I did. Did I feel almost embarrassed to face him? Why? Probably last night-

NOPE! I swung my head away again, breaking the eye contact. I didn't want to think about my behaviour, I'd die of cringe. I felt my cheeks heat in a flush of embarrassment but was determined not to acknowledge it. Or at least I was until I faced Emmett who was looking intently at where the blood now pumped intensely under my skin.

I looked away back to the wood, hands coming up to cup my cheeks as though that would somehow make the heat disappear. It was unnerving, to feel in the middle of these two men. And not in a fun way.

"If we had so little self-control that every human that blushed caused us to go into a frenzy, there wouldn't be many students left in Forks High School."

I grumbled, happy to take the amusement in his voice to break the tension in the atmosphere. I twisted my mouth, thinking of the eyes that had been staring down at me, it reminded me of someone looking down at me last night…

I buried my head in my hands quietly groaning, WHY WOULD I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO ROSALIE OF ALL PEOPLE.

"I thought it was funny."

I peaked through my fingers at Emmett who had now seemingly started whittling.

"What?"

"Last night. I don't know why you're so embarrassed. Isn't that just like, normal human stuff. Being an idiot after a night out?"

I slid my hands from my face biting my lip in thought. He was right I suppose. I had such a mysterious image of the Cullens built up in my head. Almost as though they were greater beings, above us humans. The thought of having them think less of me seemed to worry me. And yet, why should I be? If anything I put the value of my own life above theirs, even if I was just some nobody human. Why should I feel ashamed for being a normal twenty-something? Gosh, all this vampire business is really messing with my head. Things were less complicated when I was throwing water over my suspected mermaid teachers.

I grinned, "It was pretty funny, wasn't it? I think the look on Rosalie's face will be etched into my brain until the day I die."

Emmett grinned back. I turned fully, leaning forward to see what exactly he was doing.

"Have you decided to start a wood carving business in your old age?" I enquired.

"I saw this man on the TV one day talking about Whittling, and I wanted to try. I've been practising, and I'm definitely getting better."

He raised the figure, looking so eager, I nodded. "Oh yes, looks great"

What I was supposed to be looking at I had no idea, but I wasn't about to insult this bear of a man.

"I want to get so good that I can carve a rose." Emmett smiled, focusing hard on what was in front of him.

Emmett seemed simple. Not as though he was unintelligent, but more that he enjoyed the simplicity of life or existence. All this man wanted was to turn wood into something pretty for someone who meant the most to him. What more could you ask for.

I clutched my knees to my chest and smiled, "You're very sweet Emmett."

"Don't let Rose hear you say that," he laughed, then gestured, "Do you want to try?"

I hesitated and then accepted the wood and knife from him, and for the next hour, we bickered as he tried to explain the ins and outs of wood carving.

"No, no, no. What are you? An animal? You're being too rough."

"I am not! I'm doing what you told me, you big log."

"No, you're not, gentle. Look, give it to me."

"No! I'm getting it, I just need more practice!"

"I don't think a human lifespan is long enough for you to master this, you're awful!"

"Say's you! I can't even tell what you were supposed to be making before you gave it to me. I thought Vampires were supposed to be good at everything?"

He looked deeply offended, "You take that back!"

"Never!"

No way! The Shining is too weird, freaked me out." Emmett shook his head.

We sat across from each other in the living room, deep in a heavy debate about horror films.

"That's the point!" I exclaimed, "It's supposed to be freaky."

"Yeah but not in a good way, too confusing. Now the Exorcist, that's a great one."

"Oh, now that one scares me. I watched it when I was young and I think it scarred me for life. Don't laugh!" I threw a pillow in his direction, but of course, he caught it with ease.

"The Thing is one of my top. Dracula is up there of course, though I'm sure you have many opinions on it."

"I've never watched it out of principle."

"What! Well, now we have to watch it!"

"I mean I don't just have a secret stash of Vampire related films in my room."

I pouted, but then sat up. "But I do!"

"Thanks for sharing, glad to hear you're a fan."

I rolled my eyes, "No I meant, if you go and get my DVD's then we can watch some good horror movies." I shook my pj-clad arm, "I also need some clothes." I grinned.

"What am I? Your servant?"

"Come on! Please," I fluttered my eyelashes, "You could get there and back in like less than 5 minutes. Help out this silly little human."

He groaned throwing his head back. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at his small tantrum, but I felt a thrill of victory as he jumped up from his seat.

"Fine."

I clapped my hands, "Gosh, Emmett I think you're my favourite person ever."

I gave him instructions on where to find everything and got comfy on the plush sofa as he exited the room.

"Oh and bring the popcorn that's in the cupboard! And the beer in the fridge."

He grunted, leaving a breeze behind in his wake as he sped off.

I felt a warmth in my chest like I had made another friend. Look at me, conquering the supernatural world, one Vampire at a time.

"Making acquaintances are we?"

For the second time today, I screamed and fell from where I was sitting onto the ground below, only this time I threw a pillow instead of grass.

I suppose that is an improvement. Emmett will be proud.

"Jasper!" I growled pushing myself up from the floor, "Can you not sneak up on me like that."

My answer was the pillow returning to me, hitting me square in my face. I squealed, unable to protect myself in time.

I huffed, glaring at him, "Asshole." I mumbiled, turning my back to him and retaking my seat.

"Jesus Christ!" I jumped again as he appeared sitting next to me, as though he had always been. "Stop smirking!" I snapped, part of me hating the amusement that danced across his face, and part of me… liked it.

I tried hard not to blush again, facing away from him. I picked my fingernails in an attempt to show my supposed uninterest in his presence.

"Is this how you make friends? Actively ignoring them."

"Thought you didn't want to be friends."

"I don't, but I was looking forward to seeing you're attempts."

I crossed my arms over my chest, choosing not to answer.

"What?" He said, "no quippy remark?"

"Listen, I was having a good day until you decided to burst in. I won't let you ruin it."

He was quiet for a moment, and part of me thought perhaps he had given up. I was wrong.

"You seemed to be having a good time last night too. You do remember that don't you?"

I tried so hard to push away the embarrassment, the blush that was building on my face, but it was no use. I could feel his victory at knowing he got to me, pushing his cocky emotions into my head. It made me so cross.

"Stop that!" I snapped I flung a hand out in his direction.

His hand was cold when it caught mine, and the shock of him touching me caused my anger to seep away, replaced with surprise. It wasn't like we were actually holding hands, I was practically clenching my knuckles into a fist, but seeing his larger palm cupping mine, the stark contrast between his pale skin, and mine which thumped with life… was not altogether unpleasant. My surprise amplified and it took me a moment to realise that it wasn't my surprise at all, but rather Jasper unconsciously projecting his. He quickly realised this, and let go of my hand as though he was burnt.

He sneered, "Do you make a habit of attacking people in their own home."

I didn't know what to say for a few moments, sinking into the seat, "Sorry," I mumbled, crossing my arms again, firmly hiding my hands under my armpits. It did nothing to stop the sensation that lingered on my skin at his touch, so light yet firm.

I peeked over at him, noticing his hand clenching and unclenching as though he didn't know what to think.

He caught my eye, nostrils flaring as though angry, but there was a softer look in his eye, as though an internal battle was taking place within him.

You and me both pal.

"Emmett," He said, not looking away.

"What?" I asked almost offended, "Do I look like Emmett? I'm Clara remember?"

Jasper rolled his eyes, which clearly sent the message you're a moron, and then gestured behind me.

I turned, then smiled as Emmett entered the room arms full. I stood, catching the bag which he chucked at me, peeking inside to see my fresh clothes.

I shaped my hands into a heart showing Emmett my appreciation as I slinked off to change, thankful to get away from Jasper, and his intense stares.

Seriously, I know he probably doesn't need to but he could at least pretend to blink every once in a while.

Once I freshened up, I skipped back into the living room ignoring a certain someone who was still there. Emmett was looking through the box of DVDs indecisive about what to watch.

"Where are the beers?" I asked, causing Emmett to look up.

"Uh," Emmett got up, lifting a box of beers and bringing them toward me, "Here you go."

"My hero." I smiled sarcastically. I pulled a few out setting them on the coffee table.

"Actually," Emmett turned back to me with a grin which made me uneasy. "I found something else interesting while I was there."

I could see Jasper's head turn toward us, curious.

"Yes?" I asked impatient, though trying not to show it.

I almost took a step back at how close Emmett got, as though he was about to tell me a secret. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. Now I really was confused. He handed it to me, and I raised an eyebrow.

I somewhat cautiously opened it and then I felt FEAR.

I desperately looked at Emmett, begging him not to say anything.

I crumped the drawing of Jasper into my hand and shoved it into my pocket.

"Emmett!"

But he merely wiggled his eyebrows walking back away from me. "You can tell me all about it later."

My eyes flew to Jasper, who really seemed like he had no idea what was happening. Emmett was humming, back to riffling through the DVDs.

Looking to make a quick escape, I took the popcorn and my remaining beers into the kitchen. The only sound that could be heard in the house was the popping coming from the microwave. If I didn't already know, You'd think I was the only one in this big house.

Eerie.

Bringing my full bowl back into the living room I stopped at the view in front of me.

Carlise and Esme sat side by side, they turned smiling.

"Emmett and Jasper told us you're all going to watch a movie," Carlisle said, "I hope you don't mind us joining."

I ignored the jolt of Jasper staying, and smiled, returning to my seat, "Of course, the more the merrier."

"What are we watching?" Esme asked.

I sunk into my seat, legs crossed, popcorn on my lap. Ignoring the presence beside me. The paper burned in my pocket.

"What have you picked Emmett?" I asked.

"I don't know. You have too many."

"Do you have 'Bride of Frankinstine'?"

We all turned to see Rosalie standing in the doorway.

"Uh… yeah," I said somewhat sheepishly, unsure of how to act.

Rosalie said nothing but gracefully joined us. After a moment she said, "It is a good movie."

I blinked, "Uh, yeah it's great. It's one of the best. Oh and that hair! Pretty iconic."

Rosalie's mouth twitched and if I squinted it would almost be a tiny tiny smile.

"Got it!" Emmett set to work putting on the movie.

Jasper excused himself for a moment to do God knows what, only to return a minute later. Emmett seemed to look at him for a second but swiftly sat beside Rose.

I felt almost like I was intruding. On both sides of the room there was a couple and then stuck in the middle was Jasper and me.

I couldn't relax for the first twenty minutes or so of the movie, but as the movie went on, I became so engrossed in the screen and began to blank out everything else.

Halfway through I realised I had been through my beer, and moved to open another one, I grumbled to myself, struggling to get the cap off.

He took it from me gently, no one else showed any awareness of Jasper's movements but I was. I watched, as he twisted the cap off with no effort, and slowly handed it back to me. The cool feeling of the brief touch of our fingers did not shock me this time. I felt too flustered to speak, so I smiled sheepishly in thanks. One side of his mouth lifted.

I took a deep breath as he leaned in close, too aware of his mouth by my ear, sure he could hear my heart beating fast. Was it fear? Or something else?

Whatever was happening in the film was irrelevant now, as I waited in anticipation for what he would say.

"This doesn't mean we're friends."

His tone was light, almost… nice, and I turned, face too close, but I was determined. I smiled and whispered back.

"Never."

Chapter Text

Chapter Fifteen - Ivy -

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

Ivy - Taylor Swift

"I cannot believe that you all started without me!" Alice appeared as we were halfway through 'The Thing', hands-on-hips, faux outrage painted across her face.

Of course, I was the only one to react with shock, and the popcorn bowl absolutely would have gone flying if Jasper hadn't held it down with one hand.

"Well, I mean, I can believe it," She continued, moving forward, standing directly in front of the screen. "I saw it happening and I just had to rush back."

There were a number of 'move out of the way Alice!' that echoed throughout the room from both mortal and immortals alike.

"Alice, could you please sit down, you're blocking the TV," Esme smiled gently, using a much kinder tone than the rest of us.

Alice rolled her eyes and then walked toward the place where both Jasper and I were sitting.

"I don't think there's enough room-oh okay then," ignoring the little space there was, Alice, forced herself gracefully into the spot beside me, leaving me sandwiched between both her and Jasper.

"Shove up a little Clara," she said, using her strength to slide me along the sofa, causing me to bump directly into Jasper's shoulder, the cool touch making me jump slightly.

"Sorry," I mumbled to him.

Well, this is awkward.

"Alice," Jasper growled in warning, though Alice was not perturbed, she actually smirked.

There seemed to be a silent conversation going on over my head, and I heard Emmett laugh quietly.

"Am I missing something?" I asked.

"No," Jasper answered firmly.

Alice opened her mouth to answer but was cut off.

"Alice," Carlisle warned gently.

"But-"

Jasper's growl cut her off, and they glared at each other. All I could hope for was that there wouldn't be a vampire fight breaking out with me in the middle of it.

"I think I'm going to use the bathroom," I said casually, eager to get away from the weird tension.

I didn't actually need to relieve myself, but I could maybe just go stand in the bathroom for a few minutes.

As I walked the familiar route, I could hear something, and it wasn't from the living room. It almost sounded like… a piano?

I followed the sound, curiosity getting the better of me. As infuriating as he was, Edward did look somewhat, I don't know, angelic? His fingers ran fluidly across the keys, very focused and precise.

And of course, he plays the piano. How very Edward.

"Can I help you?"

I blinked, realising the music had stopped. Edward barely moved when he spoke, but I could hear the steel in his tone. I shifted awkwardly and cleared my throat.

"Uh, sorry. I just heard you playing, and… well, you're really good." I laughed sheepishly.

An awkward silence. He still hadn't moved and I felt the sweat gathering on my palms from the stress of trying to keep this interaction friendly.

Damn you, Edward, can't you help me out here.

Oh no. Cringe, he definitely heard that.

"Yes, I did." He said, finally looking at me, blank, cold expression, "thank you for your compliment, but if you wouldn't mind, your presence is making me uncomfortable."

"Oh." I sheepishly looked around, regretting even entering the room. My feet began to move again, continuing across the room, happy to have my back to him.

But as I reached the door, I bit my cheek and turned quickly, facing Edward, who was watching me.

"Can I ask you something?" I continued before he could say no, "Why did you save Bella?"

I'm taking the way his jaw clenched, as a bad sign, but in true me fashion, I walked toward the danger rather than away.

"No-"

"You can't deny that you did. There's no point."

"I'm not discussing this with you."

"Why not? Is that why you don't like me? Because I'm close to Bella?"

He laughed bitterly as I stopped in front of him, "you're delusional."

"Stop your gaslighting Edward, it's unbecoming." I sat beside him on the edge of the piano seat, and I almost laughed at the incredulous look on his face. He really was like a snobby old man.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"Thank you."

"What-?"

"Thank you for saving Bella. You may want to act like it all meant nothing or whatever, but it means a lot to me, and to everyone else who cares about Bella."

He didn't say anything, but his brow furrowed, and he almost looked as though he was in pain. I continued on, taking the opportunity of the fact he hadn't thrown me off the seat yet.

"Life might not have much meaning to you Vampires anymore, but to us human's it's really precious. And maybe your whole pretending Bella doesn't exist at School shtick is real, or maybe it's because you do care, or maybe it's all some other weird vampire shit I'll never understand, but you did something good Edward. You don't have to act like you did the opposite of saving a life."

I stood up beginning to walk away. "And Bella doesn't deserve to feel invisible because you have some weird internal issues. You might be a crusty old man at heart, but she's just a teenager. Cut her some slack, or at least crack her a smile every now and then… or something."

I shrugged, a bounce in my step as I walked back into the living room. Honestly, Edward probably ignored everything I said, but I can't read his thoughts, so I can be in ignorant bliss pretending I actually did something.

The trees flew past the passenger window as the car drove further into Forks. Despite severely enjoying the movie marathon we were having, I was eager to return home that night, to my own bed, and stashes of snacks. As soon as she realised my mom wasn't home, Alice demanded to come for a sleepover to keep me company. It was only fair she said after I crashed at hers.

Honestly, I think she just wanted to gossip, and I was more than happy to oblige.

Alice carried my things in for me despite my protests, and I left her to make herself at home as I went to change in some pyjamas.

The last 24 hours have felt like a blur, albeit a good one. The ease with which I can interact with the Cullen's compared to a few weeks ago was astounding and part of me still couldn't believe it. I smiled, changing, the thought of my best friend waiting for me downstairs.

Balling up my clothes to throw in my wash basket, I remembered the drawing in my jean pocket and stuck my hand in to grab it.

My eyebrows furrowed. I tried the other pocket.

It wasn't there. Now don't panic.

I checked again, again and once more for good measure.

Panic.

"Shit shit shit."

Did I drop it? Was it down the side of the sofa ay the Cullen's? Is it in Alice's car?

"Everything okay?" Alice stood at the door, watching me concerned.

"Huh? Oh yeah." I threw the jeans to the ground uncaring, smiling as convincingly as possible, "Absolutely. Let's go."

I forced her out and down the stairs, desperately trying to ignore the panic in my head, and hoping that no one but Emmett would find the cursed drawing.

Even when he's not here Jasper Hale is making my life hard.

"It was nice what you said to Edward," Alice said a while later as we sat with cups of tea in the living room. (Alice demanded one even if she couldn't drink it.)

I shifted, getting comfortable, "Do you know what, it's becoming a lot easier coping with the fact you are all constantly eavesdropping on everyone."

Alice laughed, "It's unintentional I assure you. I'm serious though, Edward is so stubborn, he doesn't want to hear anything from the rest of us, maybe he'll actually listen to you."

I scoffed, "Yes, he'll definitely listen to me, the bane of his existence."

"Trust me, that's Bella."

I turned toward her, interested, "Why is he so weird about her? What's his deal?"

Alice pursed her lips in thought, a gleam in her eye. "I'm probably going to get in trouble for telling you, but oh well."

"You Cullen's and your secrets," I sipped my tea, "Do go on…"

"I saw their future - Bella and Edwards."

"As in their immediate future as bio partners or…?"

"No! Their future together."

I spluttered on my tea, "Pardon?"

"I know! Oh, it's so exciting. Of course, there were multiple different futures, but this one is becoming more and more certain, oh it's so romantic, they're just destined to be together. What do you think?"

It took me a moment to realise I had been staring at her dumbly with my mouth open the whole time she was talking.

"Bella and Edward… together?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me you're joking. Very funny Alice."

"What do you mean! I'm serious!"

"But… he's a Vampire… and she's well, not?"

"Yes?"

I stared at her for a moment, waiting for her to reveal she was kidding. She was not.

"What do you mean yes, a human and Vampire can't be together!"

"Why not?"

"It- Well I don't know- Seems like it would be messy. A lot of risks involved-"

"There's a risk for humans getting into a car crash whenever they leave the house."

"So we're comparing Edward to a car crash now, good to know."

Alice laughed, "And anyway, you and I are friends, that's not very different."

"Yes, it is!"

She raised an eyebrow, amused, "And why is that?"

"Well, you know…" I spluttered, knowing she knew I was implying intimate relations between a human and a Vampire seemed… risky?"

"Vampires can do everything a normal couple can do you know-"

"Ew stop talking." I interrupted her, "And anyway, they hate each other!" I exclaimed.

Alice gave me a knowing look, "Do they?"

I scratched my neck, thinking.

"Wow. So Edward is a hormonal teenager, being mean to his crush?"

Alice snorted, "Don't let him hear you say that."

I thought of Bella and her annoyance toward Edward and couldn't imagine how she would somehow end up with him. But then again, maybe she was so annoyed at him because she was interested in him?

Teenagers are so confusing.

"When is this all going to happen? Because right now they aren't even talking. And then there's the whole Vampire thing, which Bella doesn't even know about…"

Alice shrugged, "I don't know, it's not clear yet, but I hope it's soon. Edward is becoming insufferable with all his moping around."

"I thought that was just his face."

We laughed into our tea, and then fell into a comfortable silence, contemplating the possibility of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen having a future together.

Is it possible? For a human and Vampire to be together? Knowing what I do, should I discourage it, change the ever-shifting future for Bella's sake? Or is it not my place to make that decision for Bella?

I hummed, "What was up earlier with you and Jasper?" I asked, remembering their glaring match.

Alice grumbled, "I can't tell you."

"Well, now I have to know."

"Don't say that!" She whined, "I had to promise not to tell! Even though I really really want to."

"Why not!"

"No! I'm already in trouble with my family, I'll tell you at some point but not now."

I pouted, doing my best puppy dog impression.

"No!" She squealed, smashing a face into a pillow, "You cannot sway me you monster".

We fell into a fit of giggles

"Fine, keep your secrets, I'll find out eventually."

"You always do."

"What will you do tonight? When I'm asleep I mean. I'm not sure I have much in the way of entertainment for Vampires."

"Don't worry, I'll find something to do. I was actually hoping you would let me see what drawings and paintings you've done."

"Oh, any in particular."

"All of them. Whatever you have."

I was flattered, warmed by how enthusiastic she was even now. "Well, okay. I'll see what I can dig up. There's just one you're not allowed to see though."

"Why?"

"I'm still in the middle of painting it and I don't want anyone to see it until I'm done."

"Even me? You're best friend?" she pouted, huffing.

"Yes Alice," I smiled, "Even you."

I woke to the sounds of clanging and scrambled from my bed in panic. It took me a few seconds to realise that the source of the noise was most likely Alice.

I hurried down the stairs, "What on earth are you doing?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes taking in the scene before me, "Are you making breakfast?"

"God no," She laughed, "I was just getting everything ready for you."

"Oh very kind," I said sarcastically, walking toward her, taking in the awaiting pots and pans, and food that was taken from the fridge and cupboards, ready for me to make a filling breakfast. "This is a lot of food Alice, you do know you can't have any, yes?"

She rolled her eyes, "I know that. It's not for me."

"Not to shock you, but even I can't eat this much by myself."

"I know." She grinned.

There was the sound of car doors closing, and before I could even blink, Alice was opening the front door, and stepping outside.

"Hi!" She spoke to someone, bouncing on her feet.

Brows furrowed, I came up behind her curious as to who she was talking to.

I had to try very hard not to react when I see my mother and Charlie by the car, and Bella slowly leaving the house. All three looked very surprised and very confused.

"Clara is making breakfast! You should all come to have some, there's plenty."

"Haha…" I grabbed Alice's elbow and leaned in, whispering through clenched teeth, "what the hell are you doing?"

She gave me a sly smile, "I wanted to meet the family! Come on everyone!"

Alice turned and walked back inside, leaving me staring at the gaping people across the way.

I smiled, hoping it didn't look painful. My mind whirled as I watched the three have a quiet conversation, and mentally prepared myself as my mum and Bella walked toward me.

I cleared my throat, "... Good trip mom?"

"Why is Alice here?" Bella whisper-demanded.

"Alice who?" My mom turned to Bella.

"Alice Cullen!"

"Oh!" My mom said, then she smirked and continued in a low tone, "Well, she obviously got the good Cullen genes."

"They're all adopted, mom." I rolled my eyes, knowing Alice could hear everything we said.

"Oh yes. Well, move out of the way then Clara." My mother pushed past me, exclaiming "hello Alice!"

When I looked back at her, Bella was staring at me knowingly, "You're going to have to answer some questions after this, you know that right? Because this is very weird"

I sighed, resigned to my fate and pushed the door open wider for her to enter, "Yep."

Bella helped me with the breakfast, which was probably a good thing because it meant I could simultaneously focus on the food and not Bella's questioning looks, whilst throwing my own glares at Alice when I could.

She was charming of course, hand on her chin, paying attention to every word my mom said as she talked through her whole fishing trip with Charlie.

"I honestly think I won't get the smell of fish out of hair for about a week," My mom giggled like a schoolgirl, and I breathed out a laugh, sharing a look with Bella.

"I have some amazing shampoo that would work wonders for you, I'll send it over with Clara the next time she's over."

I very nearly sliced off my finger at Alice's words.

"Next time?" Bella asked, "I didn't know you had been over to the Cullen's."

"Yes, you've not mentioned it, Clara." My mom leaned over the chair to look at me curiously.

"Clara." Alice spoke in a false shocked tone, "You keeping us all a secret."

I threw the bacon down on my plate with force, and it slid around the plate. I could feel Bella's narrow eyes on me, but I only turned, plastering a smile on my face as I brought plates of food to the table.

"Suppose it must have slipped my mind. I'll tell you later"

Which translated to I will think of an excuse to spout to you later.

Bella joined us a moment later, reaching over to give Alice a plate.

Alice's hand came up and she laughed lightly, "Oh no, I'm going to be leaving soon, you can give that one to your dad, Bella. Since he didn't come over, I'm sure he's hungry."

"Oh okay." Bella awkwardly retracted the food, and my mom piped up.

"Just set it on the side Bella, we can take it over when we're done."

"Perfect!" Alice chirped.

"So how's school going for you two girls?" My mom asked.

"Oh as well as can be." Alice smiled brightly. I raised an eyebrow, knowing she was perhaps being slightly modest.

"Yeah fine."

"Do you two hang out much or…?"

"No, we haven't actually really like… talked before." Bella laughed awkwardly poking at her bacon.

"But I'm sure that's all going to change!" Alice smiled brightly. "I bet we would be great friends Bella!"

Bella looked at her and blinked, clearly not sure what was happening. I kicked Alice under the table but all that did was make my toe hurt and Alice try not to laugh.

"Oh well, that's great!" My mom said cheery, clearly not feeling the vibe in the room. "Awh I always love it when people come together."

"I'm sure you love it when both you and Charlie come together." I waggled my eyebrows.

"Clara!" My mom went bright red, whilst Alice hid a laugh behind her hand, and Bella cringed into her eggs.

"Please stop," Bella begged.

"Can't stop, won't stop." I winked.

"Oh," Alice squealed, "I can't wait for more of this. Oh, we should do girl days together. And we can get Esme and Rose!"

"Haha, what are you doing", I muttered as I shoved food into my mouth.

"Oh, well that's-" my mom was interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

Sally stood up and walked to answer the door.

Alice sighed, "Well I am in a lot of trouble."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

And then I heard the voice, and I felt the need to lie down.

"Good morning Ms Miller. I'm sorry to intrude but we're here to collect Alice, she's late for an appointment." Emmett Cullen stood at the door, one arm leaning on the frame, as he flashed a bright smile to my mother. He towered over her like a bear.

I know Emmett and I like Emmett. We're on our way to being friends. But I moved swiftly to stand between my mom and him. The height difference turned something in my brain that urged me to protect prey from predator.

"Hi, Emmett, how you doing." I flashed him a look, and the guilty way he smiled at me, said he knew I would not approve of this growing family gathering, and he seemed to shift, as though hiding something.

I peeked around him, and bit down on my tongue, holding back my growing stress.

WHY ARE YOU HERE. I screamed at stupid Edward Cullen, who couldn't have stood further away from the door. He was side-on, staring off into the trees.

Was it because Bella was here?

Speaking of… "Edward?"

Her voice was… hard to read. Quiet, surprised, annoyed… hurt?

I saw him tense, and the next few moments felt like hours. All of us awaiting Edward's response.

Slowly he turned, and he looked directly at her. It almost felt like the rest of us had faded away and it was a moment just for them. Though whether or not it was a good or bad one, I wasn't sure.

"Hello… Bella." he was awkward, robotic almost. Yet… it really felt as though he was making some sort of effort. He shuffled slightly, clearly uncomfortable with all the attention. He hurried on, looking away from her now, not making eye contact with anyone, "We're just here for Alice, we have somewhere to be."

Before any of us could say anything, Alice floated past and bounced down the stairs. "I'm here!" The dark look from Edward didn't take the cheer from her voice. "It was lovely to meet you!" She called and turned to face Edwards quiet wrath.

Emmett stood up straight. "It was lovely to meet you, Ms Miller-"

"Call me Sally, please."

"Sally." He flashed her another charming smile, winking at my disgusted look. "See you later Clara."

"Don't bet on it."

We watched the three Vampires jump in Emmett's car and drive away. Part of me felt sympathy for Alice, for what I'm sure awaited her.

I jumped as Sally slammed the door.

"Explain." She said simply.

"How do you know the Cullen's?" Bella asked, "I thought you didn't know who they were."

"I didn't," I said, moving to start clearing away the plates.

"So what changed?"

Okay, brain, time to work on max speed, what's the excuse.

Oh!

"Um, well Esme came into the shop the other day and we got to talking about my art and her architect work and all and… well she was asking me to commission some stuff for her, so I've been over a few times and I suppose I just got to know them all a bit."

"Oh, Clara that's so exciting! Why didn't you tell me!" My mother leaned forward excited.

I laughed nervously, "I suppose I just didn't want to get my hopes up or jinx it or something. You know I don't like to show people my stuff before I'm done."

I glanced at Bella. I could see the cogs turning in her head, trying to figure out if what I was saying was the truth or not. I felt somewhat guilty for keeping everything from her when she had been spilling her guts to me about Edward.

"Congrats, that's really awesome. You'll have to show me what you do when you're finished" She finally offered, a soft half-smile aimed in my direction.

Ow, that caused a pang in my heart.

"Absolutely! Oh how exciting, your first art commission! I'll have to call your aunt!" My mom hurried off before I could stop her and I grimaced.

This is all getting rather complicated.

"I better get going too." Bella lifted the plate of food for Charlie and headed toward the door.

She paused as she opened it, and after a moment turned to me, biting her lip.

"Does… Does Edward like, ever mention me or…"

WORK BRAIN, WORK.

"Oh um… not really," I shook my head, a small sympathetic smile, "he doesn't really mention anything. He's pretty quiet." I offered.

Not a complete lie.

"Oh, of course." She laughed awkwardly shaking her head, "Stupid question anyway." She shook her head.

"Hey!" I shouted, stopping her as she went to leave, "I'm sorry for not telling you about it. The Cullen's I mean. I suppose I just didn't know what to say, and the longer I left it the harder it was to explain." I told her earnestly, twisting my fingers together.

She smiled once more, "It's okay, I get it. The Cullen's seem to invoke some weird things out of people."

"I laughed. Oh, you have no idea."

I was panic driving.

Not long after Bella had left did I realise I was late for work. Thankfully when I showed up, I saw it was only Ron I was on with and he barely even noticed me coming in the door. And with it being a Sunday it was nice and quiet.

I welcomed the calm of the store, pottering around stacking shelves and sweeping the floor, as Ron did whatever Ron does at the counter. I was firmly pushing the earlier events from my head, at least for now. I could deal with that later.

I pulled a few things out of the fridge and enjoyed my break in the office, sketching a quick outline of Bella's truck.

BANG - the office door flew open.

My pencil flew across the page, a big line going right through the window shield

"There you are!" Addy shouted.

I looked at her incredulously, "Hello? Is there a reason you're trying to destroy my eardrums?"

"Where have you been?" She demanded, sitting on the chair across from me. "I haven't seen you since Friday!"

"I mean, didn't you talk to Soph?"

"Yes and she said you went to the Cullen's"

Am I really repeating this morning? Is Esme about to walk through the door?

"I am now leaving." Ron was at the office door,

Addy didn't even look, she just waved a hand in his direction, "Yes, yes, goodbye Ron. WHY were you at the Cullen's."

"Adeline. You're sitting on my coat."

With great speed, Addy grabbed the coat from under her and flung it at Ron.

"Bye Ron," I called after him as he slunk away. I then faced Addy with slight confidence, "I was talking to Esme about art."

"You went to the Cullen's drunk, to discuss art."

"The alcohol really brings out my creativity."

I went on to tell the same story I had told Bella and my mom, and by the end, Addy looked impressed.

"Oh wow! So cool! Next time we're out drinks on me then!" She grinned.

"I don't think I'll be drinking again anytime soon. I can still feel that hangover."

Addy sniggered, readjusting in the chair. She looked up then, slightly more serious. "Did you hear about that guy that died not far from Port Angeles?"

I sat up straighter, "No? What happened?"

"That's why Sophie was so worried about you wandering around outside drunk. Some guy got mauled by an animal in the woods. Apparently, it was pretty gruesome too, like it had played with him or something." She shivered. "I'm just glad none of us was alone. You were okay weren't you?" She asked concerned.

"Oh yeah, I was with the Cullen's as soon as Soph left, and they made sure I was okay. They never would have let anything happen to me… I'm sure of it."

And for some reason, I really believed what I said.

Chapter Text

Chapter Sixteen - Two Ghosts

We're not who we used to be

We're not who we used to be

We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

Harry Styles - Two Ghosts

It was raining hard, and of course, I had forgotten my coat.

I jumped from the car, looking up at the Cullen's house.

Leaving Addy home after work, I decided I should probably go and have a word with a couple of Vampires about how they should pre-warn me before throwing me into the shitter as they had this morning.

I was mildly surprised that there was no one waiting by the windows looking down at me.

"Hmm," Having gotten comfortable doing so, I walked into the house, looking around for some sort of movement or noise.

Maybe no one was around. I was reminded of my little breaking and entering fiasco, the quiet making me uncomfortable.

"Back again?"

"Christ!" I turned, hand on my chest. "You really should make a noise or something, you'll give me a heart attack Rosalie."

She stood behind me, with a blank expression. There was no sign of Emmett which caused immediate concern. Emmett is the only reason she would usually come near me.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Oh." I looked around, shuffling. "I was coming to see everyone, well mainly Alice… but, you know-" I laughed awkwardly.

"What is your endgame?"

"Uh… What?" I continued laughing, praying someone would come out of the woodwork and save me from this frosty atmosphere.

"Why are you clinging on to my family like a flea? What are you trying to gain? Want to get your claws so deep in that you have us all at your every beck and call?"

"Um… could we maybe rewind a bit? Because I feel like I've missed a good chunk of this conversation."

"I don't trust you. No matter how much you charm the rest of them."

"Yeah, I already got that." I rolled my eyes.

"How did you find us?" She demanded. I looked at her properly. She must have been waiting for a while to let this all out. The fire in her eyes, the determination… made me wary.

My gut told me there was no one else here. She wouldn't dare confront me in such a way otherwise.

"I don't understand?" I replied, brows furrowed.

She scoffed, "Then let me make it clearer for you," She took a few steps closer, and I swallowed hard, "How did you know we were in Forks?"

I shook my head, "I didn't? What are you talking about?"

"Did you and that Bella girl plan this? Want to come and expose us? Some sort of weird revenge for what happened in Canada?"

"I don't know where you're getting all of this from, but you sound very paranoid. I had never even met Bella before coming here. And I sure as hell didn't know you lived here. You think I would have done the stupid things I did if I knew for certain you were all here?"

"You humans are all the same. Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

"You humans?" I said, annoyance growing, "You immortals sure do forget you were once the same as us pathetic humans."

"Trust me, I will never forget." There was a flurry of emotions flying across her face and I didn't have enough time to process it before she continued, "You are a fool if you think Alice will turn you-"

"Turn me? Into what? A bat? If you're going to accuse me of something, at least make it make sense."

"Turn you into one of us."

I looked at her for a moment, completely confused as to what she meant. And then it dawned on me.

"You think I want to be a vampire." I had to try very hard to keep from laughing.

"Well why else would you always be around us, why do you persist in getting involved?" She demands again, clearly taken aback by my response.

I looked around the room as though I would find some logic, "Well… Alice is my friend and well I think the others are starting to grow on me… I, well I like it. I haven't felt so at home as I have in Fork's since… well before you left Canada."

I sat down on the sofa behind me, twiddling my thumbs, "I know it's not the same for you and you probably think I'm pathetic. But that's fine, you can think that if you like. Because you even existing at all makes me feel normal. It sounds strange I know. And it's terrifying, knowing there's so much more out there than us mortals could even begin to fathom... but I always knew... in my gut, I knew tat there had to be more. I feel like I can finally be open and comfortable about that side of me. I'm not just the weird girl who thought her teacher was a mermaid, whose friend left and dad died…"

She didn't say anything, but she hadn't moved either. I continued on, "By the time I got here I felt like I had nothing, no purpose in life. No direction. But in such a short amount of time, that's all changed, and I just know things are changing for the better you know? All my new friends, seeing how happy my mum is and reconnecting with Alice… And maybe it seems like I'm clinging, but it's not because I want anything from you all or I'm trying to threaten or expose you. For goodness sake you could snap me in two before that even happened!"

I looked up at her now, to see her unreadable expression watching me closely.

"It's because I like it here. I like your family, I like getting to know you all. Because you're not just vampires. You're people, just like the rest of us. Just a bit better at everything, and way more attractive, and stronger and faster and-"

"Is this you trying to convince me you don't want to be one of us?" I could tell by her tone she was being sarcastic, but not… Cold.

I snorted, "Just thought it would stroke your ego if I gave you lots of compliments."

"Why don't you want to be turned? Most humans would jump at the chance to change if they could."

I shrugged awkwardly, getting more comfortable in the seat. "For all the upsides of being a vampire, there seems to be a lot of downsides too. The thought of hurting someone, or… killing them, because I wanted… blood or whatever. That would terrify me. And eternity is an awfully long time. I don't know how much I would want that, to never properly have a family, and grow old with someone you love..."

I bit my lip, "I mean you obviously became a vampire. Why did you decide on this life but are so against it for others?"

Rose looked away for a moment, expression blank. "I didn't decide." I didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue, "I was dying and Carlisle made a choice. And that is the choice I have to live with."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your pity." She hissed.

"It's not pity. It just sounds like a horrible thing to have to deal with. I'm sure it must be very confusing."

Her blank stare was starting to unnerve me, but I didn't break eye contact. There was something different in this conversation. She seemed angry at times, yes. But there was something more. Like an attempt to understand, or frustration I couldn't quite grasp.

"Why did you come to Fork's then?" She crossed her arms. It wasn't accusatory this time. More like curiosity.

I shrugged again, "There wasn't much left for me. My mum had moved back here, my dad's been gone a good few years now, and I didn't have loads of friends. Oh! And I walked in on my ex sleeping with someone else in our bed. Really ruined the whole vibe of the place after that."

Rosalie wrinkled her nose in disgust, "No wonder your life seemed so pathetic, you kept such awful company."

I laughed, "you're so wise. And now I have such amazing company, I'll be the coolest human in the whole of Washington."

"Debatable." She narrowed her eyes, curious, "You don't seem very torn up by his betrayal."

I tilted my head, "If anything it gave me the excuse you leave…I think I was just blinded by the comfort and ease of the relationship, we had been together for quite a while. I expected him to be the guy I was with forever at one point, he seemed pretty perfect. Funny how sometimes you don't realise how awful someone is until they do something horrible to you."

"Yes… I suppose you're right." She said it quietly, looking away, almost as though I wasn't there anymore.

I twiddled my fingers again, cautiously continuing, "Where are you from or when…? I feel like I don't know anything about who you are… or well, were? Or whatever the correct way of phrasing it is."

She looked at me for the first time with what couldn't be described as a warm expression, but it wasn't cold either.

"Rochdale… New York. I was born in 1915."

"Oh, wow." For the first time, the reality of just how long ago these beings were born had hit me. How fascinating.

Then her eyes flew up to the doorway behind me. Turning curiously, I followed her eye line.

I scoffed.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked Jasper, who was looking curiously between us.

"Not long." He said. "Just checking Rosalie hadn't killed you yet."

"Not yet no," I smirked, laughing at Rose's extreme eye roll, her demeanour back to normal.

"I'm leaving now. This place stinks of human."

"Good talk!" I shouted after her as she disappeared. I secretly hoped we would get to speak again, I wanted to know what it was like to be alive in the early 1900s.

"You seem surprisingly in good spirits, despite how some of that conversation went."

"Eavesdropping were you?"

"It can't exactly be helped."

"Uh-huh." I threw myself back into the pillows, hoping Alice would hurry back from wherever she was hiding.

"Come on," Jasper said.

"What? Where?"

He rolled his eyes, "She isn't coming back anytime soon. If you want to sit there on your own in silence, by all means."

He turned and walked away. I was hesitant, confused at the quick exchange, but quickly rose to follow him.

He was in his study, back turned to me by the desk. I stood awkwardly at the door, feeling out of place.

He didn't move as he spoke, "Well? Are you just going to stand there all day?

I huffed, stomping into the room, "You're not a very inviting person, you know that?"

He turned, leaning against the desk and shrugged, "So I've heard. Do try not to break anything." In the second I blinked he had sat in the chair, bending over the papers in front of him.

I stuck my tongue out at him, as he returned to what he was doing, and awkwardly shuffled in place, taking in the familiar surroundings of the cosy office. Despite the initial uncomfortable feeling in my gut, the room did give off calming energy. Or maybe that was him… Literally.

My eyes fell on the bookshelves against one of the walls and I stepped closer, looking at the variety of covers, old and new, of different colours and sizes.

I hummed, "The American Civil war? Riveting stuff." I drawled sarcastically, running my fingers along the spines. I took one of the books from the shelf, flicking through the pages.

"I know you prefer the more exotic subjects, but some of us prefer to be a bit more grounded in our reading subjects."

"Say's the VAMPIRE."

I could see a slight smirk on his lovely face, though he didn't look up from the paper. I studied him for a moment, the smooth marble skin, any flaw unseen to my eyes. Golden eyes flickered across the pages with ease. How had I found them scary before? I couldn't quite remember at that moment. The delicate but firm way he held the pen in between his fingers, gliding, the perfect curve of his lips. And how does anyone even have hair that shiny looking? That soft? I wonder what it would feel like to run your fingers through it?

It was like one of those statues you stare at in awe at a museum had come to life.

It was only when his eyes flicked up to meet mine that I realised he had stopped writing.

My face was flooded with heat and I walked sideways into the bookshelf, fumbling with the book in hand to make it seem like I was totally just trying to put it away this whole time.

Seeing he was still watching me, I patted the now replaced book a few times, "Good stuff."

One eyebrow raised, indicating he did not believe me, which did not help with the mortification I was feeling at that moment.

"Wow," I fanned my face quickly, trying to blow the blush away, "Is it hot in here, or just me?"

"Just you."

I bit my tongue. Taking a breath I turned to him with determination, irritated at that stupid amused look on his face.

How did I just think that it was lovely? It's annoying, that's what it is.

"What are you doing anyway?" I asked.

"Math homework."

My face screwed up, as though I had just eaten a lemon, "You're doing math homework? Disgusting."

"Another thing you aren't interested in? Shocking."

"Who on earth enjoys math class. Except for someone like you I suppose."

"Incredibly smart? Good looking? Has a keen interest in blood?"

"Humble too."

He chuckled quietly, "I think you would be hard-pressed to find a humble vampire."

"It's true, you do all seem rather big-headed. Severe superiority complex."

"Well, we are superior."

"Careful, your head might get so big you'll not be able to get through the door."

He hid a smile, leaning on his knuckle and staring at me in some way I could not describe. Cautious interest maybe?

I leaned against the bookshelf, smiling bashfully, feeling exposed under his gaze for some reason. Is this that special effect vampires have on people?

Get it together girl!

"Surely Vampires don't need to do homework."

"It's due tomorrow. I like to keep my grades up."

I snorted, "Wow, out of everything I have learned thus far about you lot, the most bizarre and hilarious thing is how serious Jasper Hale takes his math homework. Such a good little student. You would think 80 years or whatever of life would have made you like Albert Einstein or something."

"161 actually."

I physically leaned forward, "Excuse me?"

"I am 161 years old, not '80 or whatever.'"

I stared at him in shock for a beat, my head hurting at the thought of someone being alive that long ago…

"Wait, when were you born?"

"Ah yes, math isn't your strong suit." he nodded. I huffed, giving him a look to urge him on, "I was born in 1844." He paused for a moment, "When were you born?"

I furrowed my brows, too shocked by his age to think about the question, "uh…1982."

He nodded, "So you're pretty old then? Hanging out with a bunch of teenagers. What must the locals think."

Offended, and knowing it would be like throwing a feather, I lifted one of his precious history books to throw at him but I couldn't.

As I turned, book in hand, that gentle but firm hold of Jasper's fingers was around my wrist, holding me still. The cool feel of his hand almost soothed the flush that ran over my body at the close proximity.

So close.

I didn't know where to look, but once I met those eyes it was hard to look away.

"Stop using your stupid vampire charm on me," I whispered.

He smiled, "I'm not using any charm, darlin'." His hand easily slipped up my wrist, pausing for a moment at my pulse. I could feel it beating unevenly against his fingers, and for a moment I held my breath, not knowing what to do, but not wanting to move either.

Then, as though it was nothing, his hand slipped the book from my grasp and he smiled with ease, "Besides, I thought you were the one who said I was uninviting, remember?"

I breathed out a laugh, my brain feeling a bit mushy.

Stupid vampire.

He replaced the book back in its spot, then hesitated, his eyes narrowing in thought.

I caught myself falling into a trance of staring and hurried to fill the silence again, "What is it."

He turned his head and analysed my face for a moment, clearly trying to make a decision.

"Oh god, you haven't decided to eat me have you?"

He rolled his eyes, and moved away from me further down the shelves, "I have something I think you might appreciate." He pulled a bright yellow book toward him and made his way back to me.

He twirled the book and offered it to me. I took it cautiously, and in my surprise, I felt my grip loosen slightly.

"Do NOT drop it." He said, hands flashing underneath mine in case an emergency book rescue was needed.

I gently tightened my grip again, not moving, I suppressed a squeal in my throat.

"Is this…?"

"A first edition. The pros of being alive as long as I have I suppose."

I grinned at the bright red title of Bram Stoker's 'Dracula.'

Carefully I began flicking through the delicate pages, the smell of old books filling my senses. I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Holy shit, I think this might be the coolest thing I have ever seen!"

It was a warm moment when I met his gaze and we looked at each other with genuine smiles. I poured over the book for a while longer, making comments and gushing over the details and condition.

Staring at it a moment longer, I offered it back to Jasper. "Thank you for letting me see this. I think you might have made my day.

He reached a hand out, but unlike I expected, he didn't take it. Instead, he gently pushed it back toward me.

"You can keep it."

My eyes widened, and I thrust the book back at him, "Oh no, no I couldn't, it's much too valuable-"

"I've read it a load of times already. It was good, not very accurate though." He smirked, moving away as I opened my mouth to argue.

"Alice is back, she's waiting for you in the living room." He looked at me expectantly.

I fought with myself, unsure of whether to go or force him to take back his book.

He rolled his eyes, "If you don't take it, I will throw it in the bin, maybe even set it on fire-"

I gasped, "Blasphemy! How could you even suggest such a crime, you evil evil man." I bit my lip, swaying, "Fine," I whispered finally, "Thank you." I beamed, though I felt too awkward to meet his gaze.

I shuffled back to the door, excited to share my new gift with anyone who would listen.

Then I stopped, I turned back to Jasper, his brow furrowing in confusion as he looked at me questioningly.

"Well…" I said, "Aren't you coming?" I nodded my head in the direction of the living room.

A pause. Then with a shrug, he followed, and we walked in a comfortable silence to join the rest of the family.

I couldn't help the victorious thought running through my head, And he said he didn't want to be friends.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seventeen - Supalonely

I know I f- up, I'm just a loser

Shouldn't be with ya, guess I'm a quitter

While you're out there drinkin', I'm just here thinkin'

'Bout where I should've been

I've been lonely, mm, ah, yeah

Supalonely- Benee

I never thought of myself as someone who would get into whittling but here I was once again with Emmett, cross-legged on the forest floor.

I had spent the morning with Addy and Kate while the Cullens were at school pretending to be human.

There seemed to be something they wanted to tell me but whenever I would press them to spill whatever it was, they would just giggle and smirk, telling me I'll find out soon enough.

Emmett and I had taken to sitting in the same spot for our new activity, and whilst Emmett might have been content to sit on the wet ground, I was not. Alice helped me gather a few blankets and pillows, and floated around like a mother hen making sure I had a hat firmly on my head and scarf tightly wrapped around my neck.

"Don't want you to get a cold!" She clucked.

It was quite amusing to look at I'm sure. Emmett's hulking frame, unbothered by the cold and the wet, in light clothing sitting on one side of the clearing, and me on the other, eyes barely visible under my cocoon of blankets.

Kate had given me some CDs to borrow, and so asking very nicely, Rosalie allowed me to borrow her portable CD player. The music playing in the background helped block out the arguments between me and my vampire pal, as we tried to tell each other what to do.

"That's even worse than mine!" Emmett laughed.

Offended, I looked at him, clutching my attempt at a horse close to my chest. "You take that back!"

I had discovered that it was Emmett who had given Jasper the badly made wooden horse which sat in his office. It was quite sweet that despite it not being a masterpiece, Jasper still kept his brother's gift in view.

I decided I wanted to add to the collection, though as I was quickly discovering, I had perhaps overestimated my skills. Still, if I just kept thinking it would turn out well, surely it would, right?

Despite my protests to Alice and Esme, the rain soon got too heavy for me to sit outside any longer, and they brought me into the house, teeth shattering. Esme had a warm cup of hot chocolate waiting for me once I had changed (She had gotten much better at making hot drinks. The coffee even looked normal now) which was greatly appreciated, warming my fingers which were bright red and stiff from the cold.

I grumbled as Emmett teased me, "It's okay Clara, you are only human after all. Forgot you're all too soft to handle a bit of heavy weather."

"Shut up." I snapped, ignoring the snickering by sipping on my drink. I shivered in pleasure at the warmth flooding my veins. I wrapped a blanket around myself once more.

The spot on the sofa beside me dipped slightly as Alice curled up beside me, leaning on her hand. "So let's see what you did."

"No."

"Why not!" She demanded affronted. "I've already seen what it looks like in my head!"

"Then no need to show you."

"Show her what?" Jasper asked entering the room, followed by Rose.

"Nothing!" I began to say but was cut off by Alice.

"She made you a present!" She grinned, ignoring my furious stare as I whipped around to her.

"This should be interesting," Rose said, floating across the room to Emmett who awaited with open arms. I pursed my lips to stop smiling at the affection the two shared. It was interesting to watch Emmett bring out the side of Roselie that most people don't see.

"Babe, I have something for you." Emmett turned to grab his whittling project, and I held my breath. "It's a Rose."

I could see Alice and Jasper desperately hiding their smirks at Emmett's innocent cheesey-ness, but all I could do was worry he was about to get his heart torn out (perhaps literally) by Rosalie. His rose looked a little more like something that came out of the tail end of a dog. Rose stared at it as she took it from Emmett's hold.

I couldn't help but gawk as Rosalie smiled brightly, genuinely. She held the gift with such care and rose on her toes to kiss Emmett on the cheek. "Thank you Em, I love it. You've improved!"

"Do you think?" He was like a puppy.

Alice leaned over "That's the fourth attempt he's given her."

I had to keep my mouth firmly closed from audibly 'awh'ing.

Watching the sweet couple in front of me, I pushed my hair back out of my face contemplating. I clutched the wooden horse in my lap like a child, hidden from view by the blanket. Then with a breath, I turned to Jasper.

I huffed, feeling awkward, "I don't know why I decided to copy Emmett of all people, or why you're a horse boy, but…" I pulled the horse out from its cover, not quite giving it away yet.

"He's from Texas if you couldn't tell by the Southern Accent," Emmett commented from across the room.

"Wow. You know that makes a lot of sense. I really should have got that before now."

Jasper smirked, "I'm sure there were other things about me that would have caught your notice first."

I rolled my eyes, but held the horse up to him, the awkwardness slowly leaving my body, "Well here you go cowboy. You enjoy that. Maybe I'll give you more. Soon you'll have enough to open an exhibit of carved horses."

He took it from me, the contrast between my reddened fingers and his pale graceful ones just another one of the many giveaways of our mortal and immortal differences.

He tilted his head forward, hand raised to tip an imaginary cowboy hat, "Thank you kindly ma'am" The exaggerated Texan accent made me laugh.

"Well, now I really need to see you in a hat and some cowboy boots."

"Maybe a little vest as well," Alice added.

"I'm sure he has a hideous cowboy outfit hidden away in his closet. Probably wears it every once in a while." Rose quipped.

Emmett mimicked taking a gun from a holster and firing it from the hip toward Jasper.

"I think you would be a brilliant cowboy, Emmett." I laughed.

"Obviously." Rosalie brushed invisible dirt from Emmett's top, "He would be a brilliant anything."

Emmett lifted her into a hug, causing her to giggle furiously.

I'm more than certain I, Alice and Jasper all simultaneously gagged.

"Get a room, you two." Alice hissed.

Rosalie turned to us with not an ounce of embarrassment, "It isn't our problem that you three are perpetually alone."

"Ouch!" I clutched my chest in faux pain. "Tell us how you really feel Rosalie."

The rest of the afternoon flew by and it was soon time for me to pick up Addy and head to work, much to Esme's disappointment (She was hoping to attempt a dinner for me. Won't lie, I wasn't completely upset at missing out).

On my way back from the bathroom, I peeked into Jasper's office. He wasn't there, but my gift was. My badly made horse sat front and centre on his desk.

I bit my lip, grinning, a giddy feeling coming over me. A feeling I hadn't felt in quite some time.

Oh no.

I think I have a crush on Jasper Hale.

I leaned against the door frame, and let out a loud sigh. "Well, this isn't good."

"What isn't?"

Speak of the Devil.

I turned to him, still smiling, "I was just thinking how much better your gift would look with a mini hat."

"You'll just have to make one then, won't you?"

The rain hadn't let up for the rest of the day, though I wasn't going to complain. That just meant fewer customers in the shop, and more time for Addy, Joe and me to play tabletop football. Joe could have left earlier when we arrived to relieve him of his shift, but he insisted he wanted to stay and hang out.

Strange boy. I wouldn't want to spend any more time here than I had to but to each their own. He seemed… not himself the whole time. Nervous or on edge. After getting the same answer of 'nothing' after asking if he was okay multiple times, I decided to drop it, but I couldn't help but notice the funny looks Addy was giving Joe the whole time.

They had their heads together as I ran toward them in the parking lot, the shop behind me closed up for the night.

Joe saw me approaching and straightened up. My smile dropped into a look of shock as he shouted my name.

"Clara! I have something to ask you."

I could see Clara's exasperated expression as she mouthed 'WHAT are you doing?' to his back

"Um… Okay?"

He sort of stared at me awkwardly, rubbing his palms on his jeans.

"Joe?" I prompted, very aware of the rain seeping into my clothes, sending chills through my limbs.

He looked nervously back toward Addy for what I assumed was moral support, though Addy looked as though she found his situation both hilarious and infuriating.

He turned back, "You… Uh… You remember what happened in Port Angeles right?"

Addy facepalmed, I laughed. "Well obviously! I threw up everywhere and ended up with the worst hangover of my life."

"Oh… Well, anything else?" He looked at me hopefully. I furrowed my brows in confusion, not able to relocate much more than loud music, bright lights and lots of alcohol.

"No? Why? Did you do something you shouldn't have Joe? If you're looking me to verify something for you, I'm afraid I'm not going to be very reliable." I said, amused.

He didn't seem to know what to say. A shiver ran through me. "Uh, guys," I wrapped my arms around myself, "Can this conversation wait? This rain is just getting heavier and I don't want to stand in it much longer. I want to get home and have a bath."

Addy dragged Joe and his kicked puppy expression to his car, and as I drove in a different direction from them, I couldn't help but feel extremely confused.

What was that about?

I'll ask him tomorrow at work.

I sunk into a nice warm bath when I got home and enjoyed some leftovers with my mom in front of the TV. I put in the rest of the night by continuing my 'secret' painting project for the Cullen's (mostly Esme), accidentally spilling paint over my bedroom floor. The painting was constantly evolving, becoming bigger and bigger as more ideas sprang to my mind with each passing day I spent with the Cullens.

It had been a good night. Up until I got into bed. With nothing to distract me from my thoughts, I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to my earlier revelation.

A crush on Jasper Hale.

What was I thinking! How could this even happen after everything that had gone on? After all of the times, he has made it clear he has no interest in humans or their existence. And by extension me. That should be off-putting in and of itself.

But is that true?

He had become a lot nicer recently. More open and accepting. It doesn't feel like he hates my presence. But then maybe he's just putting on a show for Alice.

They did seem close…

My fingers clenched around my pillow, feeling slight annoyance at the thought of Alice and Jasper together. Looking even more perfect as a couple, than they do on their own.

I unclenched my fingers, shocked at my swift change of emotion. Must be the thought of another vampire couple about the place that is irritating me. Then it would just be me and Edward as the only loners.

Yes, that must be it. There would be too many couples… that's all.

I rolled over in bed, pushing the thoughts from my brain. I let out a breath through my nose.

Besides, it's only a crush. I mean, who wouldn't have one. The man's gorgeous.

He's just nice to look at. Nothing more.

I don't even enjoy spending time with him that much.

I don't.

It's just a crush. Everyone has them. Doesn't mean anything.

The image of the horse sitting on his desk sprung to my mind and I smiled without even knowing it.

My smile dropped.

I sat up, resting my elbows on my knees, massaging my temples.

"Ugh!" I threw back my blankets and rose from the bed. I walked as quietly as possible down the stairs so I wouldn't wake my mom, and went straight to the kitchen sink. I closed my eyes, splashing cold water on my face, willing these stupid thoughts away. I stood leaning against the sink for a bit, just enjoying the quiet.

Wish my brain would be quiet.

I walked toward the clock that hung on the wall not far from the front door of the house. It was 01:00 am and I had work in the morning.

Stupid Jasper, this is all his fault.

I looked from the clock sighing and out the window and into the night.

There were two things that I noticed at this moment -

One, the rain had finally stopped.

And two, Edward Cullen was about to climb in through Bella Swan's bedroom window.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I had obviously screamed incredibly hard in my head, because I have never seen Edward move so fast, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

The next moment he was on the opposite side of the glass, a look of desperation on his face.

Baffled, I quietly unlocked the door and exited onto the porch.

"What the hell are you doing!" I asked, my brain instantly jumping to the worse case scenarios.

Oh God, was he about to bite her!?

"No!" He hissed at me.

"Well don't look so offended! You're the one about to climb in someone's window!" I whispered furiously back at him.

"Why are you even awake! Don't you sleep like a normal person?"

"What? Hoping everyone was asleep so you wouldn't get caught?" I shot back, "Anyway, you're the one with the mind-reading thing. You should have heard me."

"But I listened… There was no one awake…" He furrowed his brows, expressions flitting across his face at a fast pace that I could barely keep up. He looked like an animal being caged.

"Look. Would you calm down?" I said, still furious, but slightly more gentle. "But do explain quickly, because as I'm sure you can hear, I am freaking out just slightly."

He paced slightly, eyes darting from Bella's window to me. I almost wished I could hear his thoughts. I don't think I'd ever seen so much emotion from Edward, and that in and of itself was slightly unnerving.

He stopped, turning to me, "Why does Bella not want to go to the dance with those human boys?"

"Uh…" I crossed my arms, baffled, "What?"

"I… I can't hear her thoughts. It's infuriating." His brows furrowed, and he was lost in his thoughts. Edward swiftly sat on one of the porch steps, and after a beat, I followed suit, not sitting too close, hoping he wouldn't get uncomfortable.

I awkwardly shuffled, looking anywhere but beside me. "So, I'm not sure what the dance is, or who all these boys seem to be, but knowing Bella, she doesn't seem like someone who would want to go to a dance regardless of who was asking."

I peaked at Edward, seeing no reaction, I continued, "Besides, I think there's only one boy who she thinks about most of the time. And he seems pretty infuriating to be honest."

Understanding who I was referring to, Edward turned his head, eyebrow raised.

I grinned, "Why do you even care who asks Bella to some high school dance anyway? Didn't think that was your scene either? You're all dark and brooding and shit." I elbowed him, eyebrows wriggling, "Did you want to ask her? Dude you give off some seriously mixed signals."

"No. I could never…" His face wrinkled in disgust, "I'm a monster."

I tried really hard, I did, but I couldn't help the snort of laughter that slipped out of me at his words. If I wasn't so amused, I would have cringed back at his furious look.

"I'm serious!" He hissed.

"Yeah, I can tell. Don't be so melodramatic dude."

"I'm not-"

"Life must be pretty miserable, never allowing yourself to be like, happy and stuff."

I leaned my head on my knees, watching his sad expression carefully.

"I'm not good… I don't deserve it… but it's becoming so difficult to stay away."

I twisted my mouth, "Alice told me. About what she saw about you and Bella. Is that what you're talking about?"

He said nothing.

I shrugged awkwardly, "I dunno if you like her so much or whatever, you could just ask her on a date or something. You know, instead of just climbing in through her window."

"...I don't see how it could work. I could never forgive myself if I… hurt her."

"Well, I've news for you bro. I'm pretty sure the way you're treating her at the moment is hurting her." He grimaced, but I continued, "You could always just be friends. Or classmates who talk, maybe help each other with homework or something. You know, typical high school stuff. If I can manage to survive your crazy household, then I think Bella could handle an occasional conversation with you. She's tougher than you give her credit for.

"I think…" he was whispering now, fragile, "I think I might… love… her."

"God, High School really has made you like a hormonal teenager."

He looked at me unimpressed, "You're not very good at making me feel better."

"That's not true! I'm just putting my many years of experience to good use. I am older than you after all, right?"

"Uh-huh." He had calmed now, the caged animal, free. "There is something about her that makes me feel… different. Somewhat normal even. I can't remember the last time I felt something so stupidly human-like jealousy. Over some mortal boys." He laughed, "that sounds pretty pathetic doesn't it."

I thought back to earlier, the thoughts that swirled in my mind of Alice and Jasper, and the jealousy I felt.

"No, I don't think that sounds pathetic at all. Pretty human actually." I smiled ruefully, turning to Edward expecting a snide comment. It was only when I looked at his surprised and amused expression that I realised he had heard my thoughts and I cringed.

Seeing his mouth open, I lifted my hand, covering his lips, "DON'T SPEAK."

I could feel his mouth lift into a smile, as his body moved as he silently laughed.

"Just pretend you never heard that okay? Nothing to see here, lets's just move along and continue talking about your pathetic love life okay?"

I stared at him desperately for a few seconds, hoping my unblinking look got it into his big head that I didn't want to talk about it.

I slowly took my hand away, and turned away immediately, thankful for the cool air on my heated cheeks. I pouted, grumpy, annoyed at myself for giving away such information to Edward of all people.

"Well…" He said slyly, "Seems I'm not the only one with a pathetic love life."

I moved to punch him in the arm, but all I hit was air. He stood in front of me now, much more relaxed, smiling even. It was nice. He had a nice smile.

"You suck." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." He offered.

"Fine," I grumbled, hands hugging my face in humiliation. "As long as you promise not to do anything creepy like climb in girls' windows."

"Duly noted," He cringed, but had a lighter tone as he continued, "Goodnight Clara. Do try not to dream of my brother too much. I'd hate to have to listen to you think about it."

"Asshole." He zoomed off in the wind and I whispered after him "Goodnight Edward."

These vampires, they will be the death of me.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eighteen - Brutal

Got a broken ego, broken heart

(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)

And God, I don't even know where to start

Brutal, Olivia Rodrigo

"Mother fuc- Ugh!" I lay on the floor, blankets wrapped around my legs, clutching my nose.

I let out a long groan, a burning made its way up my face, and I could feel the blood starting to trickle down my face.

I let my head fall back onto the floor and blew out a deep breath.

"Yep. This is the start of my day. Great."

My door burst open and my mother slid in, eyes darting around the room before landing on my form, laying flat on the ground. I smiled ruefully, teeth showing, though I immediately regretted it, blood flooding my mouth. I gagged, sitting up.

"What happened?" My mother hurried forward, kneeling before me. She took my head in her hands and went into full nurse mode.

"Ow! I ran- Ow! Not too hard! I ran into the door."

Mom sat back slightly, an incredulous look aimed at me. "You what?"

"Listen! Okay, I was panicking, and half-asleep. I'm late to work, and I got wrapped up in my blankets and just like… fell into the door."

I saw my mom's lips begin to curl, trying hard not to laugh. "Stop giving me the stink eye, and stay still."

"I would stay still if you stopped hurting me!" I pouted.

"Well it isn't broken, but it's going to bruise, badly."

"Guess I'll just tell people I got into a fight or something. Make me look mysterious."

My mom helped me get cleaned up and with much effort, stop my nose bleeding.

She insisted I take the day off, maybe even come into work with her but I waved her off. The last thing I wanted first thing this morning was for Carlise to see me in this state, and face the embarrassment of having to tell him how I managed to gain my battle bruises.

She gave me an icepack on my way out the door, along with multiple pain killers, and told me to call her if I needed anything. Perks of having a nurse as a mother.

I wanted nothing more than to pull over and fall asleep in my car, but alas, work was calling.

"Hey Joe," I said as I walked in the door.

"Hey." He was in the middle of serving some customers and I took the moment in the office to prepare myself for the day ahead and pop a few painkillers.

Just got to get to lunchtime.

Joe, hearing my footsteps began to speak, "These animal attacks are getting a bit out of hand, don't you think? Another one today." He was reading a newspaper, the image of who I presumed was the victim plastered on the front.

"Honestly, I haven't heard much about it. Don't really read the news, tends to be depressing." I leaned on the opposite side of the counter, peeking down at the pages.

"You're not wrong there." He folded over the paper and finally looked up.

"Oh my God," He leaned toward me a hand raised toward my face, and I blinked in surprise. He must have clocked my reaction because he paused. Awkwardly, he closed his fist and brought his hand back down to his side. "What happened to you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my nose is throbbing, but I'll live, it's pretty embarrassing actually." I yawned loudly.

He grimaced, taking in the sight of the blooming bruise, "I'm guessing this is why you were late?"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't tell Marie."

His mouth lifted in a half-smile, and he walked around me and toward the freezer. "Well go on then, what did you do?"

I recalled the events of earlier, and unlike my mother, Joe made no attempt to hide his chuckling.

He came back toward me, a bag of frozen peas in hand. He gently raised the bag and plopped it atop my swollen nose. "You're a disaster."

I grinned, "I know, but you all wouldn't want it any other way."

"No. Definitely not." There was a comfortable silence as I enjoyed the coolness, then he continued, "You don't need to be here you know, I can cover for you. You look like you could sleep for a week." He was gentle and kind, his tone sincere.

I smiled genuinely, "Thanks Joe, but honestly, I think I needed to get out of the house and have something to distract me."

"Bad night?"

"Something like that…" I drawled.

At that moment the door opened, and we both looked to see who had just entered.

Shit.

"Esme! Haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?" Joe's hand started to lower as he addressed Esme, who was all bright-eyed and wide smiles.

I squeaked, my hand coming up to lay atop his, stopping the peas from revealing my face. Joe's stare turned back to me, and this time with was him that wore an expression of surprise. "Sorry… Um." His face was glowing red and I could feel mine beginning to do the same.

I looked back and forth between his shock and Esme's baffled and concerned look. "Ow?"

"Clara!" Esme glided forward, "What's wrong? Why do you have a bag of peas on your face?"

I cringed, knowing there wasn't any way I could delay the inevitable. I dropped my hand from Joe's and clearly, that was a mistake. Joe had loosened his grip on the bag and it immediately slipped down my face and onto the floor with a splat.

I could feel the trail of water the peas had left in their wake as it left my face, and now I was wet, bruised and embarrassed.

"Ow?"

This day just keeps getting better and better.

I could see that Esme was at a loss for words. Thankfully, Joe had some for her.

Looking up from the peas Joe announced, "She ran into a door."

"Oh! Um… How?" Esme had a kind but confused look as came forward.

"She's an idiot."

"You wanna end up with a matching bruise?" I snapped at Joe, watching him snigger as he slunk away.

I swiped the peas from the floor, "Don't worry Esme, it's worse than it looks."

"Are you sure Clara? It looks quite painful. I could ring Carlise?-"

"Oh God no! I mean thank you, but I don't want all the fuss, it's embarrassing enough as is. Don't worry, my mum is a nurse after all."

"I suppose that's true." She smiled.

It wasn't until Esme came to the till with a trolley full of groceries that I realised she had got a lot of my favourite foods and treats. The quick look she gave me confirmed my suspicion.

I knew I should probably feel bad at her spending money on me… But what's better than free things?

"So how is Clara doing? With all the architecture stuff? We all heard about it."

"Oh, wonderful. She's really been a big help. She is very talented as I'm sure you know."

Liar.

I don't know how she said it with such ease, I could feel my ears redden, and I bit the inside of my cheek so as not to give anything away.

I cleared my throat, "It's only an on-the-side thing. Nothing to brag about."

After everything was bagged, I helped Esme gather up the shopping, and walked with her to her car. Once the last bag was in the trunk, she turned to me.

"Clara, how would you feel about actually helping me with my work?"

"Pardon?"

"Well I mean, you and I seem to have similar interests, and from what I've seen, you are actually talented. What do you say? You could help me with the designs and you can come and help me renovate some of the houses!"

"Well- I mean…" I laughed, "I don't know a thing about architecture!"

"I can show you! It just takes some practice." Her eyes ran over my face, "Only if you want to though. There's no pressure."

I thought about it, wringing my hands. I looked back toward my place of work.

This isn't what I want to do forever right? And I mean, I never thought about it, but maybe… Is this what I've been waiting for?

"How about this." Esme caught my attention again, "You don't have to quit everything and just commit to this. We could try it out temporarily, you can join me for a project when you're free and we can see how you feel?"

I smiled, "Do you know what? Let's do it."

"Yeah?" Esme smiled brightly, "Oh wonderful! I'm so excited! Come by later and we can discuss it!"

"Okay!"

I practically skipped back into the shop, for the first time in forever feeling genuinely excited about my own future. About having some sort of purpose.

"What are you grinning about?" Joe let across the counter, a look of amusement on his face.

"Just discussing a project, nosey."

"Don't tell me you'll be leaving us soon."

I tapped my nose, unsure of the answer, but enjoying teasing him.

"You're breaking my heart, Clara."

"Gosh, you're so dramatic! I'm not leaving Forks."

"Well, that's good. I don't know what I'd do."

"I'm sure Addy would get you through such a time."

He smiled in response, but then pursed his mouth, thinking.

He moved around the counter toward me, "Actually there was something I was looking to ask you."

I raised an eyebrow, "Is this about that thing yesterday? That you and Addy were being weird about?"

He breathed out a laugh, "Uh… yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"What's up?" I asked, noticing his form becoming much more awkward, which in turn made me awkward.

"I was hoping for a bit of a nicer setting, with no bruised faces, but fuck it… Do you wanna go on a date?"

I blinked a few times, "A date?"

"Yeah… With me?" I could see him biting the inside of his cheek, "Only if you want, oh god I've made things weird haven't I?-"

"No! I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but uh…"

My brain felt like it was going to short-circuit, and the throbbing on my face seemed to be increasing as the blood rushed to my face.

"Well.. Could I maybe think about it?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. Of course. No pressure." He smiled, but I could see the embarrassment he was feeling, a feeling that was swirling in my own gut.

The rest of the shift passed by awkwardly, the two of us almost being too nice and polite to the other.

Did I think of Joe that way? I wasn't sure. He was handsome sure, but the thought hadn't really crossed my mind that our friendship would take a different turn. I was quite flattered really. I couldn't remember the last time I went on a date, let alone was asked on one. But was it a good idea? Would it ruin things if it went wrong? We have the same friends, would that make it weird?

Ugh…

I was relieved to leave that afternoon, the air suffocating and confusing, a massive headache coming on. The cool air and light rain were somewhat soothing. The drive home felt too long, and I wanted nothing more than to fall into my bed.

Which is exactly what I did. I hid under blankets, curtains closed, the rain pitter-pattering on the window, lulling in and out of sleep.

"Clara!" A whisper by my ear, and I couldn't tell if it was a dream or reality.

I mumbled, swiping a hand as though I was shooing away a fly.

"Maybe she's been knocked out? Look at that shiner!"

"Maybe she fought a bear. You could give her some tips Em."

"Shut up you two!"

"If this is a robbery could you do it a little quieter?" I grumbled, not opening my eyes.

Poke.

Poke, Poke, Poke. The cold, consistent finger continued to tap my cheek, until finally I made an aggravated noise, and opened one of my eyes.

I glared at the three figures, not even phased at their presence any longer. Alice was bent over me grinning, her finger lingering on my cheek. Emmett and Jasper stood at the end of my bed, laughing quietly.

Alice gave my cheek one last poke, "Hey you! I saw what happened, wanted to check you were okay since we had to come this way anyway."

Jasper tapped his chin, "think you have some drool."

I made a lazy rude hand gesture at him, which only made him smirk.

"I can't believe running into a door did that to your face, you look horrific!" Emmett explained, analysing the aftermath of my embarrassing morning.

"You wanna end up the same?" I threatened, unamused, and still half asleep. Of course, this just made Emmett let out a booming laugh.

"Thanks for coming. Bye now." I turned my head face-first into the pillow. "Ow."

"Oh come on! You're going to talk to Esme later! And Carlisle will have something that will help with the swelling!"

I groaned into my pillow. I forgot I had told Esme I would see her later.

"Fine." I pushed myself up and out of bed, pulling my shoes on quickly.

"Oh, you coming like that?" Jasper quipped, "Might want to brush your hair or something."

Emmett and Jasper bumped shoulders, and I could immediately tell they were going to start teasing me. With a quick look in the mirror, I could see what they meant. My hair was like a bird's nest, and I looked like a zombie. My creased, baggy clothes didn't help.

I reached for the hairbrush but did not use it as intended. Instead, I threw it at the two boys, which they of course dodged with ease, almost giggling like school girls.

I sure do throw a lot of things around this lot.

"I hate you both." Alice linked arms with me as we left the room.

"No, you don't" They called after us, following quickly down the stairs.

"Ugh, shit. Forgot my keys. Jasper would you…?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What am I, a dog?"

"Go on and fetch! Good boy."

He scowled at me, and my laughing was cut off by Alice's amused tone "You don't need them. You're coming with us! Edward's driving!"

"Eh? What do you- EMMETT! PUT ME DOWN."

My legs swung as Emmett threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"You're taking too long." He said.

I saw Alice locking my front door, and skipping off past Emmett and me, alongside Jasper. I looked over my shoulder, and my brows furrowed. Why was Edward parked in front of Bella's house?

"What are you all doing here anyway?"

The back door of the car opened and I heard Rosalie hiss, "Emmett what are you doing."

"Calm down Rose."

I shrieked as I was dumped into the back seat. I think both Rosalie and I had the same look of annoyance aimed at Emmett as he grinned and disappeared from view. Grumbling, I push myself upright just in time to see Jasper climb in beside me.

Right. Well, this is an interesting situation. Trapped between these two… Not quite sure how to feel.

On one side, I could feel Rose's cold impatiens, and on the other, I was actively attempting to ignore the close proximity to him.

I heard Edward snort with laughter. Everyone heard his laugh.

Thankfully he saved me the embarrassment of revealing my thoughts and drove off rather quickly after Alice hopped in the passenger seat.

"What about Em?" I asked, desperate for a distraction.

"He's going to run back," Alice said.

"We thought it would be a better idea that he ran than you." Jasper drawled.

I rolled my eyes, "Very kind."

I could feel eyes on the side of my face, and I slowly turned my head to look at Rose. She was not even pretending she wasn't staring. Her nose was wrinkled in disgust.

"You look hideous."

"Yes, I'm aware, thanks."

"And you ran into a door?" Rosalie mused, "Explains a lot."

"Right, I think it would be better for my ego if you kept those thoughts to yourself, thank you."

I leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed. I think all of the excitement and movement was hitting me because my nose felt like it was going to explode, a headache growing quickly.

Why did I get out of bed again?

And then… relief.

At the same moment, a calming, comforting feeling flowed through my body and something cool and gentle lay directly over my throbbing face.

My eyes flew open, and I went slightly cross-eyed looking down at the hand on my nose.

Now I'm definitely blushing.

I peaked at Jasper out of the corner of my eye, too flustered to move.

"You looked like you could do with an ice pack. Luckily, you are surrounded by walking and talking ones." Jasper's smile was kind, perhaps even a bit awkward, like he himself wasn't quite sure why he had just done what he did. "Just don't sneeze on my hand, or I will throw you out the window."

I just nodded rather dumbly, still staring.

Stop Staring!

I turned back ignoring the others.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Rose was horrified.

I wasn't quite sure what she was thinking, but I didn't really feel like asking. I also pretended not to notice the look Edward and Alice shared.

At that moment, I didn't care.

Quietly, selfishly, I let myself just enjoy that tiny bit of attention. The kind gesture from a handsome man, not only helped my injury but calmed my mind.

"Thank you." It was barely a whisper, but the way his lips lifted in a half-smile told me he had heard it.

"Okay," Esme flattened out a blueprint, one of many which decorated her study. We sat next to each other, hunched over what she had currently been working on.

Once we had arrived at the Cullen's everyone had ventured off to do their own activities. I was thoroughly amused by Jasper and Emmett's 8 boarded chess game, which had rules that went right over my head. Far too complicated.) Edward refused to give me any more detail as to why he had left Bella home, only smirking at my frustration and walking away. Esme was waiting for me in the living room and brought me straight up to her office.

Carlisle had helped ease my pain as much as possible, managing to get the swelling down considerably. God bless that man.

"Esme, I'm not sure I'm going to be good at all this blueprint stuff… Seems a bit out of my league." I bit my lip, feeling very out of my depth and a bit disheartened as the reality of what I had actually agreed to hit me.

Esme, never deterred, continued, "Oh don't be silly, like I said, all it takes is a bit of practice. Besides I thought you would be good at a different job." She reached over for a thick folder, placing it in front of me.

Curiously, I flicked it open. Aha! Now, this is more my speed.

I sifted through the different images of concept art, buildings and architecture, particular rooms with certain themes, colours meticulously placed in just the right spots.

I think I've found my new favourite kind of art.

I stared at the different sketches for a few minutes, and it wasn't until I realised that Esme had been watching me the whole time that, slightly embarrassed, I came back to reality, a sheepish grin on my face.

"They're uh… kind of amazing. You're so talented."

Her smile was dazzling, "That means so much. Thank you, Clara." She looked down at her drawings, one finger reaching out to tap them. "So what do you think? If we work together, I think we could come up with some amazing things."

I was taken aback, "You would be okay with me doing the concept art?"

"I know you can do it."

"I'm not sure…"

She placed a hand over mine, "Listen, I'll be here to help you the whole time. I'll give you an idea of what a client wants, and then we can see what you come up with, okay?"

I smiled.

And so we sat for the next while, talking over Esme's current projects and finding which would be the best for me to start with. I geeked out over the expensive high-quality pencils Esme gifted me with, and we lulled into a comfortable atmosphere, the only noise that could be heard was the scratching of pencil on paper.

It took me a moment to realise Esme had paused in her movement, and it was then that I realised I could hear the piano playing.

Esme was smiling warmly, her eyes closing as she let herself become surrounded by the noises coming from below.

Edward.

Esme opened her eyes again and tilted her head to me as she rose from her seat, indicating I should follow as she made her way to the stairs silently. After a moment's hesitation, I got up and leaned comfortably opposite Esme as she sat on the top step.

It was surprisingly calming listening to Edward compose a piece of music straight from his head. I wish I was that impressive. It was heartwarming to see just how much of a mother Esme was. She was devoted to her children, despite them coming together under strange circumstances.

Made me appreciate having two mother figures in my life, both of whom are perhaps the best people I know.

The music came to an abrupt halt. One moment Esme was here, the next she was gone, leaving on a small breeze that blew my hair in her wake.

Had something happened?

I hopped down the stairs as quickly as possible, for once cursing the slowness of my humanity. As I skidded to a halt, everyone came into view. Rosalie looked furious. Edward looked as though he was trying not to laugh.

"Don't stop Edward," Esme said, encouraging him to continue. Edward made eye contact with me as he turned his back to Rose. I swore he was smothering a grin.

Which, as it was so out of character for Edward, made me smile in bewildered amusement.

Which was NOT the correct thing to do.

"Why are you laughing?" Rosalie demanded, in front of me before I could react.

"Who? Me?" I laughed nervously, "I'm not laughing- Oh well, I am now. But only because you look like you're going to rip my head off at any given moment, and I think I might wet myself out of fear." I just. Kept. rambling.

Someone kill me. Or rather, don't kill me.

There was a quick movement, and I clenched my eyes shut, awaiting the end. But nothing happened. I peaked to see what was happening.

Then my eyes widened. And I wasn't the only one. I don't think I ever saw Rose so shocked, so taken aback, as she did when Jasper stood between her and me.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us, and I wanted to sink into the ground. 

What is going on?

"Back off." It came out as a… growl? I was a bit unnerved by this sudden shift.

Rose spluttered, "What- what are you doing, I wasn't going to hurt her!" Now she just looked offended and angry, and the tension in the room was growing and growing.

Emmett appeared by Rosalie's side, one hand out toward Jasper as a peaceful gesture, "Hey chill out."

"Jaz." Alice said softly, "Calm down, no one's going to hurt anyone."

It seemed as though that brought him back from whatever part of his head he was trapped in for a few moments. He looked around at us all, our cautious gazes must have been suffocating.

He finally looked me in the eye, and I could see the confusion and regret that was there. It seemed that just like the rest of us, he wasn't quite sure what had just come over him.

I gave what I hoped was a reassuring, albeit weak, smile, "Hey, I'm all good. Don't worry."

He did not return the smile. His expression was blank now, and he moved quickly away. He returned to his spot by the chess boards, though he stared out of the window unblinking.

There were a lot of looks being shared around the group that I didn't understand. It seemed as though they all knew something I didn't.

"Seriously!" Rose spat. She was not happy. "Is this what we're going to have to live with? Between the two of them!"

And now Edward was growling.

I felt my headache coming back.

"Rose, please. Not now" Esme looked so sad, the expression seemed to soften Rose slightly. That and Emmett's PDA as he attempted to make his lover laugh.

I excused myself to the kitchen, and I gulped down a glass of cold water and made a nice warm cup of tea to try and relax the tension that ran rife throughout my body.

Why did Jasper react like that? He was usually so calm and calculated. But the fierce energy had radiated from him and everyone felt it. Like an animal so overcome with instinct, it couldn't stop.

I didn't think he cared much about me at all, never mind enough to argue (fight?) with one of his family members over, well, nothing really.

I mean sure, he had been much nicer, and rather sweet recently… But still.

I massaged my temples, and then took a sip of tea.

Know what? I'm just not going to think about it right now.

When in doubt, just run from your problems.

My phone buzzed, and for all of ten seconds, I welcomed the distraction.

Until I read the text Addy had sent me.

"SO JOE ASKED YOU?! WHAT DID YOU SAY. TELL US EVERYTHING."

Shit.

I totally forgot about that.

Oh God, what am I going to do?

"WHAT!" Alice's screech made me jump, and I once again hurried into the living room.

"What, what what?" I asked, tea spilling onto the floor.

"What now," Rosalie growled from her place curled up next to Emmett, patience thin.

"Alice?" Jasper stood, though didn't move from his spot.

But Alice wasn't looking at any of them, she was looking at me rather crossly.

"You're going on a DATE?"

"Oh christ," I massaged my forehead, the embarrassment making an appearance once again by my reddening cheeks. "Thanks for that Alice."

"Oh." Esme was smiling, though there was a conflict in her gaze, as her eyes flitted quickly around at the others. "You never mentioned Clara."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think-"

"You can't go on a date!" Alice protested.

I furrowed my brows at her, then laughed, "Well, why not?"

"Well- Because… Ugh!" She looked so cross, but her tiny frame made it quite comical. Like a child stomping her foot.

"I mean, I haven't even decided whether to go or not…"

"Why?" Jasper's tone was flat, but I wasn't expecting it. When my eyes flew to him, his intense gaze made my blush deepen, and I awkwardly twiddled my thumbs.

"Well, I dunno, just never got around to thinking about it-"

"I think you should go."

Silence met Rose's words as we all looked at her. Though the only person she was looking at was Jasper, with almost a… satisfaction?

"Eh?" I sounded dumb, but I couldn't quite believe Rose was getting involved in my love life.

She looked to me now. "Yeah. I think it would be good. You said your last boyfriend was trash, out with the old and in with the new right? I'll even help you get ready."

"What?" Alice and I both said it at the same time, and Rose's smile was so genuine it was scary.

"Oh… well." I looked around the room, but no one else said anything. Alice was pouting, Emmett looked like he might laugh, Edward looked as though he had a headache, and poor Esme was looking between them all with concern.

But Jasper… he stood stone-still, eyes never leaving mine, but not giving anything away either. I looked away quickly and back to Rose's expectant look.

I pursed my lips thinking. I mean, what's the worst that could happen really, it could be fun and Joe is nice and funny, and it's not like there were many people lining up in the tiny town of Forks to go on dates with.

I smiled, "Yeah okay. If you're willing to help ready then… why not?"

Rosalie smiled victoriously, and Alice let out a noise of protest.

"Brilliant," Edward muttered, leaving to return to his piano.

I peaked back at Jasper again, he was still watching me, and then in one swift movement, he turned and left the room.

But for a moment, he could not maintain his emotions. Just for a moment, we all felt how he had. It was baffling, impossible, and deep down was… pleasing… to know.

Jealousy.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen - Mad Woman

Every time you call me crazy

I get more crazy

What about that?

And when you say I seem angry

I get more angry

Mad Woman, Taylor Swift

"Hey… hey!" Bella clicked her fingers in front of my face.

I blinked, looking up. "Hm? Sorry, what did you say?"

She chuckled slightly, nodding down at my sketchbook. "You look as though you're about to rip a hole through the page. What's up?"

What's up?

Stupid, gorgeous Jasper Hale, that's what's up.

He was avoiding me. He never made an appearance the rest of the day before, and when I was working with Esme again today, he flew right past me, ignoring my greeting when he, Alice and Rosalie had returned from school. Emmett and Edward had left the night before to go hunting during the weekend, so there were two fewer presences in the house.

I wanted to ask Alice what Jasper's deal was, but she was just as sulky. She was by no means ignoring me, but she was huffing due to my decision to go on a date, yet she refused to tell me why. (Though she wanted to.) Any further attempts at conversations were shut down by Jasper. He had gone back to his usual cold self. And it kind of hurt.

Rose on the other hand was in great spirits, seeming to enjoy the annoyance of her siblings.

I missed Emmett and his easy-going vibes.

The thing that infuriated me the most about the whole situation was the way that I was reacting. I was so cross with myself for caring so much about what stupid Jasper thought. Why should he care so much about me going on a date with a boy? Since when did he care about silly mortal things.

Why is someone who can control emotions so awful at expressing his own!

Of course, I didn't say any of this to Bella. Instead, I grimaced and said, "My nose is just sore, that's all."

She seemed to buy it and smiled amused, "I still can't believe you managed that. Sounds like something I would do."'

I decided to bail from the Cullen's house early, the confusing atmosphere too much to deal with, and instead, came to hang out with Bella. We sat in her room, propped up against her pillows. It had been a comfortable silence, with Bella doing her homework and me continuing some sketches for Esme.

Or at least it was nice until my thoughts started to wander and I began drawing a bit too hard.

"How's your work with Esme going anyways?" Bella asked though I could tell she was building up to ask me something else.

"Uh yeah… it's good. I'm actually really enjoying it. Still taking me time to learn the ropes, but Esme is pretty chilled out so I'm not worried.

"Oh, that's good!" She nodded, "... you do spend a lot of time at the Cullen's these days."

"Yeah I know… guess Esme just keeps me busy."

"But surely that's not all you do when you're there?" She was probing, "You're there all day sometimes."

"Well, I guess I stay for dinner sometimes…-"

"Is that all? They all seem to be on good terms with you…"

Not at the moment apparently.

"I suppose seeing them a lot means I end up talking to everyone," I laughed awkwardly, "I don't know if I would say we're all close or on good terms or whatever. They're just teenagers right."

They most certainly were not teenagers in the usual sense, but I was grasping.

"Hmm…" She smiled, "That doesn't stop you from hanging out with me though."

"Absolutely, you're my favourite teenager by far."

We laughed, but I could see the cogs still turning in her head, so I decided to take charge of the conversation, and bring up the topic she was just dying to discuss.

"So Edward was talking about you yesterday."

That got her attention.

"He was? What did he say?" She sat up straight and then seemed to realise how her movement looked, a light blush growing on her cheeks.

"Well, the annoying little boy refused to tell me why he left you home early from school, so I'm hoping you will fill me in as to what was going on between you two." I wiggled my eyebrows, laughing at her embarrassment.

"There's nothing- I mean…" She spluttered, then let out a breath, "He insisted on taking me home, I didn't ask him."

"Well, why did you need taking home in the first place?"

"Ugh, it was nothing. We were in biology and the smell of blood just… made me lightheaded."

"Edward was in a class about blood?" I was alarmed. Bella looked at me strangely and I realised my mistake, "Uh, I mean, he doesn't seem like the type to… like… blood." I trailed off awkwardly, quickly moving the conversation on. "Anyway, what happened then? Were you okay?"

"Yeah, he took me to the nurse and I was fine, then he insisted on driving me home…" She was fiddling with her book and I bit my lip to suppress a grin.

"So you two are friends now?"

She huffed, shrugging, "Who knows, he gives me whiplash with his changing moods."

I snorted, "And they say women are the overly emotional ones."

She smiled.

"You know," I continued, "Edward is pretty cute. For a teenager I mean."

She looked at me with an eyebrow raised, but she couldn't keep the blush off her face. "Is he? I hadn't noticed?"

"Uh-huh."

"Shut up."

I giggled, falling back against the pillows. I sighed, "They are an abnormally attractive family aren't they?"

I said it to include them all, but I was only thinking of one in particular.

"... Tell me about it," She flopped down beside me, "It's pretty infuriating."

"Oh yeah, definitely," We sat in silence, picking at the fabric of the bedding.

"Do you think my dad and your mom are ever going to address the fact that they're dating?" Bella asked.

I gagged, "It sounds weird to say old people are dating."

"Old?" Bella laughed, "you're not long far off middle age right?"

"How dare you! I am a spring chicken…" I thought for a moment, "I'm sure they will eventually, and when they do they'll tell us as if we don't already know."

"They are both a bit awkward." She hesitated before asking, "Do you not feel a bit… weird. With your mom moving on after what happened… with your dad? If that's not overstepping or-" She added hastily.

"It's fine," I smiled reassuringly, "I don't mind, if anything I think it's a good thing. It was really hard after my dad died, I think my mom lost herself slightly, hence why she came back to Forks. She'll always love my dad, but that doesn't mean she can't love anyone else ever again. Life is a bit too hard to go through on your own, so if the time is right for her, then I'm happy." I looked at her, "Plus, I like Charlie, he has a pretty cool daughter too."

"I don't think anyone has ever called me cool." She rolled her eyes.

"Well someone just did. Not as cool as me of course, but no one ever could be… You're okay with it too aren't you?"

"Oh yeah," She nodded unbothered, "I mean my mom has remarried, and my parents split when I was a baby so… honestly, knowing my dad isn't going to be stuck in this house all by himself all the time is nice." She smiled awkwardly.

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Oh by the way, are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Uh, no don't think so, why?"

"Well, a bunch of my friends from school are going to the First Beach tomorrow. You should come."

"Do you think a bunch of teenagers would be happy if I crashed the gathering?"

She rolled her eyes, "I don't think they'd care, but you could always invite your own friends if you want? It would… be nice for you to be there."

I smiled, "Yeah, okay. Why not. Would be nice to do something different."

Not long after Charlie came to let us know dinner was ready, and as we gathered around the dinner table (my mother included), I truly felt like this was the beginning of a dysfunctional and broken, but happy family.

Oh. My. God

The SUN.

It exists here in Forks! Granted, it was also windy, but still, at least there was light.

The perfect day for the beach.

I drove along the roads, enjoying the rays hitting me through the windows. Pulling into the driveway I hit the brake hard, winding the windows down.

"Hello, ladies! And Aaron."

"Heeeeeyyyy!" Kate danced over to me, followed closely by Grace who wore large sunglasses.

"Grace, I don't think the sun is good enough for that."

"Shh, let me live."

Both she and Kate climbed into the back seat, and Aaron, after locking up the house, jumped in the front seat beside me.

"Hello you," he said closing the door, "Haven't seen you since well…"

"The night you vomited and then fell asleep on the curb." Kate finished for him grinning.

"Yep. thanks, Kate. I almost banished that from my mind.

"Mwah," she leant in and kissed my cheek. "I loved it, you are an icon, Clara."

"Not sure my mother would equate my behaviour to being iconic, but thanks."

"So are we picking up what's-her-name?" Kate asked as I drove out onto the road once more.

"Her name is Bella, Kate, you've been told this multiple times." Grace rolled her eyes amused.

"Whatever."

"No," I answered, fighting with Aaron as he attempted to take control of the radio. "She's coming with her friends, we'll meet her there. Thought it might be a bit weird for us to hang out with the teenagers all day."

"Oh?" Kate started, "I thought that was your favourite thing to do these days?"

I shot her a look through the rearview mirror, ignoring Aaron's sniggering beside me. "That is not by choice."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Listen, if I got to hang out with the rich, pretty people of the town, in their cool mysterious house, I would be best friends with all the teenagers."

"You would be friends with anyone Kate if it meant you could get free food." Aaron turned to look at her.

"Hence why I tolerate you!" Kate smiled at him sweetly.

"It's sad that the others couldn't join us." Grace mused.

"Are you kidding?" Aaron laughed, "Do you know how much fun it will be teasing Addy later on? I'm sure she's giving Joe a sore head at work already, she was so cross."

The mention of Joe's name made me embarrassed, the knowledge of our impending date on my mind. I shook my head, throwing the thoughts away.

"Careful," Kate smirked, "we wouldn't want 'Lara to get all flustered at the mere mention of Joseph."

"Oh yeah, what is the plan, Clara? You haven't told us yet."

"Yeah Clara tell us everything, give us the who, what, where, when and why."

"Eh? Sorry?" I turned the radio up loud, feigning ignorance, "I can't quite hear you! Sorry!"

They all laughed and thankfully dropped it. I knew they were only teasing and it was strangely nice to have friends joking with me over a boy.

I enjoyed the views as we drove to La Push, a full fifteen miles of dense greenery, and the winding Quillayute River. Grace had the window down, her tight dark curls blowing gently in the wind.

First Beach was beautiful, the air salty and cool, waves blowing in and out from the shore. It was the first time I had been to this part of the area, sometimes the small community of Forks feels as though it was the centre of the world, you forget there are some beautiful sights so close by.

I stretched as I jumped from the driver's seat and out into the ocean breeze.

"I haven't been to the beach in ages," Aaron said, a hand raised to shade his eyes as he scoped the area. "Hey, is that who we are looking for?"

"Where?" Kate hopped up on a wall beside him. We all looked out to the large group on the beach sitting on a ring of driftwood logs, a fire blazing in the middle. "Ew, teenagers."

"I told you there were teenagers."

Kate turned to look at me, an arm resting on Aaron's head. "I know, but seeing them in person really grosses me out."

"Don't want to shock you, Kate," Said Grace, who hopped over the wall, "But you too, were once a teenager."

"Don't be silly, I was born a fully grown adult."

We made our way down the beach, and I was glad I took Grace's advice and wore some solid shoes, the pebbles beneath my feet making for an uneven surface. There was a discussion going on ahead of us, some of the teens separating into different groups.

"Bella," I called to her as we drew close to the group, and their chatter came to a halt as they all turned to see who the newcomers were.

"Oh no, are you all leaving?" Kate said, "Such a shame-"

Aaron elbowed her in the side.

"Clara!" Bella stood from one of the logs, and hurried toward me, her smile warming my heart. "Have you seen the sun?"

"Of course, I thought I was dreaming when I first looked out my window."

She laughed, then looked around me to the three standing behind me.

I followed her gaze, "Bella, this is Grace, Kate and Aaron."

Aaron gave a quick 'hello', Grace waved and smiled, and Kate simply saluted.

Bella nodded, "Hey." She looked back to her group, "Everyone, this is Clara. Clara this is, well… everyone."

"Hi." I tried to smile as friendly as possible.

"I didn't know you were bringing extra people Bella." A Cornsilk-haired girl spoke, and not in a very nice tone.

Bella coughed awkwardly, "I had mentioned…" She mumbled.

"Don't worry," There was a bite in Kate's tone. She really didn't like teenagers, "I'm sure there's plenty of room for all of us. If not, you know where the exit is."

"Hey, it's no big deal, the more the merrier, " A blonde-haired boy cleared his throat stepping forward, "We were just going to hike to the tide pools, you're welcome to come if you like? You too, Bella?" He looked at her like a puppy.

I couldn't keep the amused surprise off of my face. Bella never mentioned this. And from the way she cringed at his attention, I could see why.

Such a popular girl.

Oh, I wonder what Edward thinks of this.

"Oh yeah, let's go to the tide pools!" Grace clapped, "I used to love them as a kid!"

"Well, I'm not going. There's no way I'm hiking, my shoes would be ruined." It was that girl again, her nose upturned. Most of the other girls agreed, opting for staying on the beach.

I shot Bella a look, to which she mouthed 'Lauren' back at me in response.

I presumed Lauren was the name of the girl.

"Damn," Kate piped up again, "If only you knew you were coming to the beach today, then you could have dressed appropriately. Oh well, if you must stay behind what can we do?" Kate shrugged, ignoring Lauren's taken aback spluttering.

Kate marched forward, heading in what I assumed was the direction of the pools, "Shall we?" She took the lead and slowly the group in favour of a hike took off after her.

I shared a look with Grace and Aaron laughing. Bella walked along beside me, seeming at ease.

"I like her." She nodded toward Kate who seemed to have enthralled the teenage boys.

"She sure does know how to get everyone's attention. Who was that 'Lauren' anyway?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "Just some girl from school, she doesn't exactly like me."

"Yeah, I could tell. Want me to fight her for you? I'm sure I could take her."

She laughed, "Don't tempt me."

"Who's the golden retriever?" I nodded to the boy ahead who I had noticed continually glancing back at us.

"That's Mike, a friend."

"Are you sure you're just friends? He keeps looking at you as though you might disappear." I laughed at Bella's cringing expression, "Ah, not the one you're interested in then, prefer boys who are a lot more emotionally unavailable?"

She shoved me, "Shut up!" She was glancing around to make sure no one heard as I laughed. She soon joined in, shaking her head at me. "You're unbelievable."

"I try."

A few moments of peaceful walking later, two girls approached us smiling.

"Hi," One said, "I'm Jessica."

The other waved, "Angela."

"More friends? Goodness me Bella where have you been hiding all of these people."

It was a nice insight into Bella's life outside of Charlie's house. I felt like a proud sister to see her have her group of friends, activities and interests in this little corner of the world. Sometimes Bella felt like she acted older than me, it was good to see her seem a bit more at ease lately.

I enjoyed chatting with the girls, laughing at Bella's embarrassment of being the centre of the conversation.

"... And if you couldn't tell it seems like all the boys are falling over their feet trying to charm Bella," Jessica said. I could hear the rueful tone and saw the flickering eyes ahead to Mike.

Ah… to be young and in the middle of awkward teen romances.

"Oh? I hadn't noticed. Why Bella why didn't you mention it."

Bella rolled her eyes, knowing I was teasing, mumbling a "Shut up."

"And of course, she doesn't care about any of that, apparently the only guy she has any interest in thinks he's too good for the rest of us."

Angela answered my unvoiced question, "She means Edward Cullen."

"Ah."

It wasn't a super long hike, and we got lost in the shade of the trees. I looked up as I walked, admiring the canopy, the different colours of greens vivid in the sunlight which peeked through the branches. Grace, Aaron, Bella and I fell behind the group slightly, Bella trying really hard not to fall over a branch or root.

I would be worried about Kate, but she seemed to have taken to leading the pack.

Once we broke through the trees, we caught up with the others who were already gathering around the little rock pools hopping from one spot to another, tempting fate whilst hanging precariously over the edge. Bella sat in the safest spot possible, enjoying the view in front of her. I joined Kate, and we ended up in a pushing match, desperately trying to avoid falling into the pools, giggling loudly. Grace and Aaron sat on the edge of one of the bigger pools on their knees, Grace enthusiastically pointing to the starfish, chattering away, whilst Aaron seemed content just listening to her voice.

Aaron soon pulled out a digital camera he had brought with him and started taking photos of the different groups of people. I made sure to get one of Bella and me, despite how much she might have hated getting her photo taken. That should keep the parents happy.

Soon, once the boys expressed their dire need for some food so we began our journey back to the beach. I had to link arms with Bella after she fell over several times in an attempt to keep up with the group.

"Oh great," Kate said with disgust, "Even more teenagers."

"Hey, we aren't all that bad right?" One of the boys winked at her.

I followed Kate's gaze to see that the group we had left behind had expanded, and as we grew closer, I was pleasantly surprised to see that some of the teens from the reservation had come to join the gathering.

As we joined the group, Kate and Aaron made a beeline to the food which was already being passed around.

"It isn't even our food, yet they're right in there." Grace quipped.

Introductions were being swapped amongst the groups, but with all the names being said I quickly tuned it out. There was no way I would remember them all so I would rather focus on picking a sandwich. I joined Kate, Aaron and Grace sitting together at the edge of the group, letting Bella sit with Angela, and enjoy her friend's company.

The teens began to break off into small groups, going to do their own things while we stayed put. Someone had brought a CD player, the music filling the otherwise peaceful air. We took a few photos and enjoyed the warmth of the fire, the

Grace sighed, "There goes the sun." She was looking up at the sky, watching as the clouds covered what rays there were, casting shadows across the beach.

"I'm sure it'll come back…one day." Kate watched the clouds ruefully.

"You're all so dramatic…" I slapped Aaron's hand, "Get your own sandwich."

Aaron pouted, "There aren't any left."

We were in the middle of playing a game of cards when Lauren's voice rang out "You know Bella, Jacob?"

We all turned to see what was about to happen, a strange atmosphere of protection for Bella filling the air. I got a look at this Jacob, I had never seen him before, yet Bella and he must have been having a conversation. Did he know Bella?

My tension eased a bit when he smiled at Bella and laughed, "We've sort of known each other since I was born."

"Why do I feel like we're missing some weird teenager tension?" Kate whispered to me as Lauren answered Jacob with an icy "how nice."

"...Because I think we are," I responded.

"Want to go to the shop?" Grace asked Aaron, the two of them not interested in the petty teenage drama, and honestly, I couldn't blame them. The two of them walked together up to the village as the conversation continued, both Kate and I watching with a hawk-like gaze.

"Bella." Lauren called again, "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today." I felt my body tense up at the mention of the Cullens, but no one noticed, Lauren was too focused on watching Bella's expression, "Didn't anyone think to invite them?" Her tone and expression of concern were clearly false.

Kate piped up from beside me before Bella had a chance to respond, "yes, clearly even you didn't think to invite them, how must the poor Cullen's feel to miss out on an invitation from you."

Kate leaned her arm on my shoulder, and we both smirked at the furious look on Lauren's face.

"How old are you anyway?" She hissed, "Hanging around with a bunch of teenagers-"

"Are you talking about Dr Carlisle Cullen's Family?" A boy who was older than the rest had asked the question and I didn't like the tone.

"Why?" I asked somewhat defensively, without meaning to. I could feel Kate looking at me, confused at my bite.

"Yes." Lauren said condescendingly, "do you know them?"

"The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that ended the subject. He briefly met my eyes, my defensiveness noticed by him. He turned to look at the forest behind us.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. What did that mean? He didn't say it like the Cullens simply hated the beach, it was more like they weren't allowed to come here. But he couldn't possibly…?

My eyes flickered over to Bella and I could see the cogs turning in her head.

"What was that about?" Kate asked, thoroughly confused.

I turned to her, "I was going to ask you that."

Soon Bella got up and left to walk with Jacob, and I watched as she went, a nervous feeling in my gut. I felt uneasy now and I didn't know why. Part of me felt as though I shouldn't be here if I was associating with Cullens.

"Hey, guys." Aaron and Grace had returned, "Wanna go for a walk?"

We wandered down the beach hoods up against the cold sea air, but any chatter and laughing from my friends was drowned out by the thoughts spinning in my head.

Once the inevitable rain started we hurried back to the car. Grace, Kate and Aaron pilled into the back, with Bella and I upfront, and the contrast between the two groups was apparent. The back seat was like a party, enjoying the radio, laughing and chatting the whole way back to Forks. Bella and I were quiet, and I was quite certain we were thinking similar things.

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She was staring out the window at the wet greenery, and her brow was furrowed, concerned, perhaps even annoyed?

Why did I feel like a certain conversation was going to happen that I would prefer not to happen?

I dropped the others off, and we continued back in silence.

"Bella?"

"Hm?" She snapped her eyes to me, coming back to reality.

"We're back," I smiled softly, watching her carefully.

"Oh god, I didn't even realise."

"Hey… Are you okay?" She looked at me again, "You've just been really quiet since we left the Beach."

She bit her lip, and I thought for a moment she was going to brush it off. But I was wrong.

She looked at me almost accusatory, "Have the Cullens ever mentioned why they can't go to First Beach?"

"Uh… No? I don't know what that guy was talking about."

"Are you sure? Because with all the time you've spent with them I'd have thought you'd know them better than most."

"I already told you that I'm there for Esme-"

"Yeah, well I don't believe you."

Uh oh…

I had never seen Bella so sure.

"Bella.." I didn't know what to say.

"Why are you lying to me? To everyone? What do you know?"

"I'm not-" the words died in my throat, I couldn't do it, not with the way she was looking at me. How do I not lie while also keeping the Cullens secret?

"Edward stopped the van! The van that almost killed me! He pushed it away with his hand, he had been across the parking lot yet somehow got to me in a second. And you don't even look shocked at what I'm saying, it's like you already knew all of that!"

Shit.

Probably should have feigned some shock. Good job Clara.

"And they all look weirdly similar, yet half of them aren't even related! They all have the same weird eye colour and live in the middle of nowhere. They barely associate with anyone outside of their group. Except you."

I swallowed hard, and I could hear my heart thumping in my ears, "Bella…"

"What are they?" She said it so desperately, "I feel like I'm going crazy! No one else seems to question anything about them, but there is something off with Edward, with the whole family! The only ones who seem to know something are the ones in La Push, that guy Sam, he knows something, they think they're Cold ones."

"Cold ones-?"

"And you know! Clara, please, tell me I'm not being crazy."

What do I say? My loyalties were swaying back and forth, my palms sweaty. If I tell her… how would she react? Is this how it's supposed to happen? It seems like the inevitable end, but what if I'm not supposed to tell her? What if this sets off some events that end with vampires being exposed? Or some humans getting hurt... Or killed- or… My brain ran with all of the worst-case scenarios, and with the way, things were with Alice and Jasper at the moment I was worried I wouldn't get to talk to them before something went wrong.

Bella could see the defeat on my face. She could see that she wasn't going to get what she wanted.

"Fine…" She opened the door and jumped from the car.

"Bella!" I called desperately, stopping her from closing the door, "It's just… not my business to tell."

She looked at me for a moment and then slammed the door hard.

I cringed leaning back against the car seat. The guilt dug down deep inside me and I ran a hand through my hair. My honeymoon phase with the Cullens seemed to be over now. Who the Hell knows what's going to happen from here, because I sure don't.

Well… Shit.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty - When He Sees Me

Or even worse he could be very nice, have lovely eyes

And make me laugh, come out of hiding

What do I do with that?

When He Sees Me, Waitress

I blew out a breath as I let the shop door close behind me. Not the end of a long shift at work nor the shining sun could improve my mood. I stomped to my car and flew out of the parking lot heading straight home.

I was avoiding everyone. Despite the improving weather, I had spent the last few days in my bedroom, hiding away from all my problems. Bella was ignoring me. She hadn't replied to any of my texts and when I went over to try and talk to her, Charlie told me she wasn't feeling great, with quite an apologetic look on his face. And then today, on this fine Tuesday morning when we both exited the house at the same time, she ignored my wave.

Due to my guilt over the Bella situation and my growing annoyance at Jasper for blanking me, even though I hadn't seen him in days, and my waning patience for Alice's pouting and whatever secrets she held, a dark cloud was growing over me, and any moment now the rain was about to pour.

I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, mortals vs immortals, and it was all beginning to get a bit too much.

I couldn't avoid it forever though. My date with Joe was scheduled for later tonight near Port Angeles. A little restaurant Joe had recommended for good drinks and good food. I should be excited, fussing over what outfit to wear, being giggly and full of butterflies. Instead, all I wanted was to buddle up in my blankets, eat a tub of Ice Cream and watch Ghostbusters on repeat, a feeling in my gut telling me I shouldn't go tonight. And while I didn't want to admit it, part of the reason was because of Jasper's reaction. Because of the little moments and touches, we had had over the last while.

And then, I end up even more annoyed because I shouldn't be making those moments more than they were. A touch that meant nothing to someone like him, but brought my whole being to a halt. A part of me almost wished I hadn't said yes to this stupid date… maybe then Jasper would still be talking to me.

NO! He's just a stupid Vampire who is probably finding all my stupid human feelings hilarious. It was infuriating to admit to myself that the way I felt drawn to Jasper was almost certainly how most people feel toward not only him but the rest of his family.

I dragged myself into the house. My mother was still at work, so I gobbled down leftovers and watched some mindless TV for a while. Soon it was time for me to get ready, but I really didn't want to. I was about to pull out my phone to cancel when the door opened and in walked a disgruntled-looking Rosalie.

I blinked, "Uh… Hi?"

Her gold eyes flew around the room, clearly disgusted by the decorating. Her eyes then landed on me, and she looked quite cross.

"Where have you been?" She demanded.

"Here on my sofa?"

"I've been waiting for you for over an hour."

"Oh… Why?" I furrowed my brows.

She huffed rolling her eyes, "I told you I would help you get ready."

I looked at her bewildered. "I didn't think you meant it."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Is that a trick question?" She raised her eyebrow, so I huffed and continued, "I don't think I'm going now."

"You have to go."

"Why!"

"Because I said so."

I looked at her as though she had two heads. "Why would you care-"

She glided over to stand in front of me, looking down through those long lashes, "Get your ass up from that ugly sofa and up those stairs."

She turned, her hair flipping behind her as she flew across the room and up the stairs.

I stared at the area she had been standing and threw my head back against the sofa. Whatever Rosalie wants, Rosalie gets.

I grumbled, making a strong cup of tea before stomping up the stairs ensuring she knew of my annoyance before I reached the room.

I had to duck as I entered, clothes from my cupboards and wardrobe flying all over the place.

"Please, make yourself at home."

"Don't you have any other clothes?" She asked, not turning from my wardrobe.

"There are some PJs in the bottom drawer that I wouldn't mind wearing this evening."

I had to smother my amused expression when Rosalie turned to me, gold eyes flashing.

In a second, she moved across the room, placed a chair behind me, and pushed me into it.

"Sit."

"If you insist." It was fine by me, if I could just sit here and sip my tea then I was happy. I didn't get to sit for long though.

Rosalie disappeared and after a loud crack, reappeared with the bathroom mirror which she leaned up against the wall behind me.

"That was on the bathroom wall."

"Not anymore."

Soon I was up and down, Rosalie holding up different clothes, telling me to try on some things, concentrating very hard on ensuring I had the best outfit possible. All the while I kept thinking about whether or not I should bring up what was said at the beach, and the situation with Bella.

"Okay, put this on," She handed me a flowy button denim dress and turned to face the other direction.

Taking it with little enthusiasm, I made a grunt of agreement.

As I was changing a thought came to me, "I didn't think you would care so much about something like this…"

"You're right I don't care about whoever this human is that you're going on a date with."

"Yep, was talking about something stupidly human-like a first date, but glad to know how you really feel."

"...I-" I could hear her hesitation, and was sure to stay quiet, letting her finish, "I probably care more about stupidly human things than most of my family."

I was careful, "Do you mind… if I ask, how come? You seem to well… not be a fan most of the time."

"I never said I was happy about it." I could hear the amusement in her tone.

I turned, straightening my dress, knowing she would already be turned around when I looked up.

"Well? I asked, "Is this acceptable?"

She was analysing me, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, as though she was musing over a piece of art in the museum. "It will do… though it needs something…"

I jumped with surprise when she appeared in front of me, a belt in hand. She began working away, trying to pick a way to style it.

"Maybe your true calling is to be a seamstress or something."

"I'm not even going to respond to that."

I bit my lip to smother my laugh. She glanced up at me and the corner of her mouth upturned slightly.

She looked down again. When her hands paused, I watched her confused, waiting for something to happen.

"I never wanted to be a vampire." She continued her movement, fixing up the outfit, and avoiding eye contact. "I never had the choice. And now I'm damned to watch humans forever, wanting their blood, never escaping them." She stepped back looking over her work, "a constant reminder of what I'll never have."

She finally looked up at me and I knew my expression was that of sympathy, which, with Rosalie's track record, she would not be happy with. I was even more surprised that instead of any sort of angry reaction, she smiled a little. She sniffed, her expression reverting back to the cool exterior, continuing as though nothing happened.

"Sit." I complied again.

She began to rift through my makeup, or what little I had, "Where did you get this stuff, the dollar store?"

"Hey! Don't diss the collection, if I could afford more I would have it, but a grocer doesn't make that much."

I felt awkward at how close she was, the coolness of her skin close to my cheek as she began applying eyeshadow.

"Next time you go on a date I'll bring my collection, and show you what the real stuff looks like."

I laughed, "Next time? We haven't even gotten past the first date. Joe might decide he doesn't want to come back for seconds."

"I wasn't talking about him…" She said dismissively, "Don't move!"

"But… who were you talking about then!"

"You know who I'm talking about." She rolled her eyes.

"Does this look like the face of someone who knows?"

She paused in her movement, "Alice really hasn't told you?"

"Told me what?"

"She has better self-control than I thought. Though with the ways things are going I don't know why someone doesn't just tell you. It's pretty obvious." she mused.

"Well then maybe you could tell me." I attempted not to sound desperate, trying to look into her eyes, while she patted my face with foundation.

She smirked. It was sly, she knew she held all the power. I pouted, trying my best to invoke some sympathy in her, but who was I kidding, Rose seemed to love seeing people suffer.

"Please." I batted my lashes.

"Stop that!" She snapped, "You'll ruin the mascara." She began applying some blush, "Use that big brain of yours instead. Why would I want to get involved in your frivolous life?"

"You… want to… annoy people?" I asked comically slow.

"Who would I want to annoy?"

Work brain, work.

"Alice?"

"And?"

"...And? Uh… I don't know… um."

She tutted, looking through my lipsticks, "Do you how irritating they've been, Edward, Alice and Jasper. Just a constant back and forth between them all regarding affairs of the heart," She drawled sarcastically.

"Affairs of the heart? Are you talking about Edward and Bella?"

Her lip curled in disgust, a growl seeming to come from her throat.

"Don't like the two of them together huh?"

"It's caused nothing but trouble. At least with you and Jasper things aren't quite so infuriating-"

"Wait-"

"Although recently he has been so moody, and it's irritating because he makes sure we can all feel it. He blames Alice of course, for telling him, much like Edward I suppose but-"

"Hold on!" I sat back from her, eyes wide, not quite able to process what she was saying. "What are you talking about? There is no… me and… Jasper." I whispered his name like it was a secret.

Rosalie laughed, "Haven't you seen him recently? He watches you like a hawk, almost like he's afraid you'll disappear."

"No, he doesn't-"

"And what makes it worse is that he hates himself for it. He can barely stand being around humans as is, and here he is thinking about little ol' you and he can't control it." She stepped back observing her work. "That's the thing about vampires, we are quite possessive of things we think of as ours."

I didn't know what to say. I stumbled over my words, "Don't joke. It's not funny."

"Your right it isn't. Having to deal with two angsty men is infuriating. So if I can get my own back by helping you go on this silly date then I will. Plus, look how amazing you look. I really am brilliant."

She took me by the shoulders, and with a genuine smile turned me to look in the mirror. My eyes widened.

I was pretty good at doing my makeup but this was a whole other level. I had never felt like such a natural beauty, light makeup brought out my best features. I looked at myself in a whole new light. Was this all hiding beneath the whole time?

Rosalie took my hair from the messy bun I had thrown it in, and ran her hands through my hair, "You have pretty nice natural hair, there's a nice wave through it."

"Wow. I look… Great."

Rosalie showed her bright teeth, "Of course you do, I helped you. It's my expertise." She flicked her hair over her shoulder, but I could see the genuine pride she had in my reaction, warmth in that usually cold outer shell.

"Why would you tell me all of this?" I whispered, "Why would you tell me tonight? When I'm about to go out with someone else? It's terrible timing."

"It's perfect timing. It means you get a choice. You don't have to go along with something just because Alice got a glimpse of what could be. If you want to go on a date with a human boy, and have a normal, albeit boring, existence, then do it. Or don't, I don't really care what you want to do. But you should get to choose, even if everyone else wants to keep you in the dark."

We watched each other in the mirror, a strange moment of understanding passing between us.

And then my heart squeezed in pain, I was about to leave for a date, but all I could think of was one person. One person who I wished could see me like this. Is this how he usually sees me?

'Watches you like a hawk.'

Does he? Heat rose in my body, and I took a deep shuttering breath. The thought of those intense golden eyes looking at me, over me.

Oh, dear.

I can't say the thought of it wasn't… attractive to me.

"Ew." Rose looked disgusted, "stop whatever thoughts you are having, I can smell the blood rushing to your face. I don't even want to know."

"Well, that's a sentence I didn't think I would ever hear." I laughed, desperately pushing any thoughts of Jasper Hale and what he might be doing or thinking right now from my head.

But they seemed to want to persist…

And persist they did.

Joe picked me up from his place and we drove in an awkward atmosphere to the restaurant. I played around with the radio the whole time and tried to make meaningless small talk to distract myself from the suffocating atmosphere and the overbearing thoughts which seemed to continue wandering away from my current situation.

It didn't help that Joe kept asking about how things were with Esme.

I really wanted to go home and eat ice cream. Or drink lots of alcohol.

There was too much guilt that swirled in my gut, guilt for keeping secrets, guilt for lying.

Guilt for wishing I was anywhere but here.

Joe helped me from the car and I smiled in thanks, hoping to ease some of the tension.

He held my hand lightly as we walked to the restaurant door, "You look lovely by the way."

I flushed, "Thanks." I laughed awkwardly, "I wouldn't get used to it. It's far too much effort. I can barely get out of bed most days."

He laughed and it warmed my chest. Maybe this wouldn't be so awkward.

Taking in his warm smile I made the decision to push all other unnecessary thoughts but the boy in front of me from my mind. I smiled back.

Even if this didn't go well in a romantic sense, I would be able to spend my evening with one of my best friends.

Things were a lot more comfortable after we sat down at our table, I had a glass of wine and we ordered food, laughing and talking about nothing at all, the warm lights and light chatter of those around us helped ground me. I felt normal, calmer than I had in days.

Part of me felt the need to thank Rosalie for her encouragement even if it was for her reasons.

Being surrounded by all the crazy supernaturalness that Forks has to offer, I sometimes forgot that the human side of things is nice too. Is this what Rosalie meant?

"Did you have a nice time at the beach?"

"Oh yeah," I sipped my wine, "Sorry you and Addy couldn't come, we'll have to go again soon, especially with the better weather coming in."

"Absolutely, there are some beautiful spots in La Push for a hike, I'll take you some time."

I smiled, "That sounds nice."

"I can't believe you got Kate to go and hang out with teenagers!"

"I didn't realise her hatred ran so deep!" I laughed with him, "Though it seemed like she charmed most of them despite her obvious disgust."

"Yeah, she seems to have that effect on people."

I swirled my glass, "So here's a question…"

"Only one?"

"What is going on with Grace and Aaron? I swear it was like watching a pair of teenagers."

Joe smiled in an almost fond way, "They've been like that for ages, Grace too oblivious to notice Aaron following her around like a lost puppy."

"Why hasn't he said anything!"

"We've told him to, but he's too nervous, always chickens out just before he says."

"I think they're really sweet, almost like those two people who you just know are destined to be together and all those other romantic cliches."

"Yeah," He smiled looking away, and returned his gaze with warmth, and I felt myself flush, "That's the dream, isn't it? To look at someone and just like, know there's something about them that you've never felt with anyone before."

I blinked, a minute feeling like a lifetime. Was that some sort of confession? What do I say?

Think!

I opened my mouth to say something, and what it was I'll never know because at that moment I spotted him in the background.

And he really was watching me like a hawk.

Unconsciously I moved, standing from my seat, hand clenching the back of it. Everything seemed to have frozen, the intensity of his gaze, and the words of Roselie earlier in the night ringing in my ears. I felt a strong urge to confront him, demand an explanation, the truth. Even if what Rose had told me earlier was complete bullshit, I needed him to tell me to my face why he was avoiding me, why he had gone back to the cold, emotionless exterior.

If he wanted nothing to do with me I wanted to hear the words directly from his mouth.

Then reality hit me once more as I heard Joe ask, "What are you…"

I looked at him as he turned to look in the direction my gaze had been in. But there was nothing there now, he was gone.

Was Jasper ever even here? Or have I officially lost it?

Joe was looking up at me with concern and confusion, his face red. Was he embarrassed? What did he have to be embarrassed about?

I looked about the room rapidly, the air that was moments before comforting and warm, was becoming suffocating and thick, and I wanted to run.

"Um, just give me a moment, I'm just running to the bathroom." I smiled shakily hoping it was convincing.

I walked swiftly through the crowds, barely avoiding a waiter serving food. I push through the front doors, gasping in a deep breath as the air hit my face, cool and calming.

Men. They're more trouble than they're worth I reckon.

I saw a movement in the corner of my eye, and I knew who it was before I even turned. I looked to my left, and there he stood, tall and still, watching me with those intense eyes as always, but now I was reading them differently. A way I shouldn't be.

And then I was annoyed. Annoyed at the feelings he caused in me, annoyed that he appeared and ruined what was the first date I had, had in a long time.

Annoyed that part of me was glad to see him.

I whispered into the breeze, "What are you doing here?"

I knew he heard me, and I spotted the slight narrowing of his eyes, the thoughts running through his head. After a moment he turned and began to walk away.

Absolutely not.

I stomped after him, "Don't go!" I cringed at how pathetic I sounded, but it did make him stop abruptly, and I stumbled to stop myself from walking into him.

He didn't turn to look at me but I took what I could get. I looked at the centre of his back, suddenly bashful, "Why are you here Jasper?"

A minute went by but I refused to budge, hesitantly I reached forward and grasped the sleeve of his jumper, almost childlike. I felt him tense up at my action but he didn't pull away.

His head turned slightly and I jumped when he spoke, "Alice… mislead me to believe I needed to come. I can see now she was just playing games."

"What did she say?" I furrowed my brows.

"...She implied you were in some sort of danger."

I looked up, spying the side of his perfect face, confused… yet, touched?

"I'm not in any danger."

"I know that now." He was angry. Not only could I hear it in his voice, but I could feel it in the air. His hands were clenched into a fist.

"Why are you so angry."

"Let go."

"What?"

"Let go." He pulled his arm from my grasp and finally turned to look at me.

I leaned back looking up at him, "What the hell is your problem?" I snapped, the anger of the last few days boiling over.

His eyes flared and he leaned in, "You!" He hissed, "You are my problem."

"Then go! Why are you even here if I'm that much of an annoyance in your life!"

He huffed, about to respond with what was no doubt something irritating when his eyes flicked up looking behind my head. I heard the door of the restaurant open behind me, but before I could turn to look, an arm wrapped around my waist and my hair blew in the wind. In the blink of an eye, I had moved from in front of the building to around the side of it.

My stomach lurched, and I looked furiously up at Jasper. He placed his hand over my mouth, shushing me with a conflicted annoyance, as though he both wanted to never let me go and shove me away.

"Clara?" From around the corner, Joe's voice called out into the wind. My eyes widened.

Jasper knew Joe was coming and hid us in an alleyway! What the hell is he thinking!

"Clara?" Joe's voice sounded again, the sound of his footsteps padding across the stone pavement could be heard, and I felt as though I was holding my breath, "...Are you out here?"

The doubt in his voice made my heart clench, and I looked up into Jasper's eyes. It was a compromising position. He and I were in a dark alley, his arm heating up my skin (despite his coolness) where it sat on my waist, his hand covering my mouth almost felt like a caress.

Any words I wished to say were stuck in my throat.

"... well… I guess that's that then." Joe mumbled, the hurt and embarrassment clear in his voice, and weirdly I felt tears start to well in my eyes. I could barely cope with the way Bella, Alice and him in front of me had been acting, I couldn't lose Joe too.

Everything was going so well, why is the universe bringing everything crashing down around me again.

I came back to reality, the sound of my friend's footsteps fading. He was leaving.

No! He has to know I didn't just leave! I wasn't standing him up. I was having a nice time… I was… until he arrived. Until he got into my head and confused me, infuriated me, and made me feel such intense emotions that I didn't know how to describe them. I could feel his eyes on me and I couldn't take it anymore, my body aflame despite the cool evening air.

I tore Jasper's hand from my face, and he didn't resist. I stepped out of his embrace and walked away, only to be stopped by a gentle grip on my fingers.

He wasn't looking at me now. He was looking at the ground, brows furrowed, gaze intense and in pain. "Don't."

It was quiet but firm.

"Why?" I demanded, furiously trying to catch his eye but failing. "Jasper."

He said nothing. I huffed and this time it was my turn to rip myself from his grip. I hurried to the front of the restaurant, hoping Joe would still be somewhere nearby, but already knowing he would not.

Now, it was embarrassing to admit that I started scowling like a child, and I was glad it was dark and there was no one about it because when I felt the hot tears build, it took all my willpower not to let them drop.

And then it started to rain. Slowly at first, but when the first drop hit my face I knew I was done for.

I accepted my fate, standing in the rain like a drowned rat, hair clinging to my face, sobbing loud and proud like a toddler told she couldn't have any more cookies from the cookie jar.

"It's not fair!" I cried into the rain, my fists whirling around in the air, "Why… does everything…. Always have… to go… wrong!"

"What are you doing?"

I whipped around. Jasper looked baffled.

"You are the worst shit I have ever met!" I pointed a finger in his direction, "Now take me home! Because of you, my date left! And he was my ride!"

The cool feeling of the window as I lay my head against it was soothing. After my tantrum, a headache had come on, and I wanted nothing more than to engulf myself in the bath.

Jasper and I hadn't spoken since I shouted at him. He had quietly obliged, his cold demeanour taking over once more at the mention of the date, and he led me to the car.

I was sad. And tired. The wet clothes I was wearing made me shiver slightly, and I cursed my foolishness, knowing I would probably end up with a cold if I didn't change soon.

Jasper sensed my shivering and silently turned up with heating.

I glanced at him through the corner of my eye, then back out the window. "Thanks," I muttered, cringing slightly at how sharp my tone came out. I went back to pretending he wasn't there

I would go and speak to Bella tomorrow, I couldn't cope with the silent treatment anymore. And I would have to explain to Joe what had happened, or at least, some version of what had happened. Perhaps not including the mysterious teenager I hung out with. Telling Alice to stop the moping might be tricky, but it had to be done.

Maybe by the end of tomorrow, I'll have some semblance of a friendship with someone.

I hope the others don't hate me because I left Joe like that.

The thought of losing all my friends in one go made me tear up again. I sniffed, wiping my face with my hand, desperate not to embarrass myself again. I jumped when I felt fingers against my face that were not my own. It was only then I realised we had stopped.

Jasper's fingers were light, as though he was afraid he would break me. He looked so concerned and lost, and it made my heart clench.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

The way he was watching me was unnerving me, and if I looked at him any longer I thought I might melt. I pulled away from his touch, huffing, "Take a guess."

He paused, fingers clenching. He turned in his seat toward me, and I looked at him cautiously, unsure of where this was going.

His fingers clenched again, "I didn't realise you liked that boy so much."

"Yeah well, you wouldn't know much of anything these last few days, considering how you've been ignoring me."

He scoffed, "I haven't-"

"Do not lie! You've been pretending I don't exist! Do you have no feelings at all? You would have felt how hurt it made me, yet you did it anyway! And you didn't even tell me why! Is there anything human left of you in there? Or are you just a cold monster who likes to play with my feelings? I thought we were friends!"

For a split second, a hurt expression showed on his face, and I regretted the monster comment. Then he glared back at me.

"I told you I didn't want anything to do with you. Why would I care if your feelings are hurt?"

"Then why the hell did you show up tonight? Just to fuck with my life?"

"That's not- With the way you act so carelessly, I wouldn't need to do anything to fuck with your life. You are more than capable of doing that on your own."

I fumed, "You're right. Getting involved with someone like you was the worst decision I could have made!"

It was a lie. I knew it, he knew it. I suspected he was lying as well, confusion and hurt blending into one, causing our clashing and outbursts.

I opened the car door and got out, not caring about the rain, or the chill of the air. Wrapping my arms around myself, I walked alongside the edge of the road, the shadows of the vast forests stretching alongside me covering my movements.

I stopped short, bumping into Jasper's chest as he appeared in front of me, gold eyes glowing furiously through the darkness.

"Where are you going?" He demanded.

"Home!" I pushed past him, continuing walking, not sure how far I was from Forks, but not caring.

"Don't be stupid! You can't walk back!"

"Why not! Better than being a nuisance to you, right?" I snapped.

"Get back in the car!" He shouted after me.

"No!"

"Clara!" The way he said my name made me pause, and slowly I turned to look at him, the outline of his body so clear to me, and there went my heart. "Please." He walked toward me, hands raised as though approaching a scared rabbit, "Please, don't go. Not alone."

He stopped in front of me, and for the first time, I could see clearly the tenderness in his eyes. His hand reached out but hung in the air by my fingertips. "It's dangerous."

He gave me a look, and I furrowed my brows. I cast my gaze across the trees and then back to him. And then it dawned on me, "There are… other vampires?"

He nodded once, "There are a few roaming the area recently, and they are not like my family."

Human blood is top of their menu he means.

I shivered, but not from the air. I unconsciously stepped closer to him, watching the trees for any movement. "Are there any here now?" I whispered.

He gently took hold of the tips of my fingers, pulling me back to his gaze, "No." he spoke softly, a reassuring gaze warming my heart.

"Okay." I nodded. I watched our hands, a grip that was barely there, yet never felt so solid. "I'm sorry." I whispered it at first, then cleared my throat and looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said, I've just been upset the last few days, not just about tonight."

His gaze never left mine, "If anyone should apologise, it's me. I haven't exactly handled, things, well recently. I should not have made you suffer for my misfortune." His mouth lifted into a half-smile despite my frown at his words and then continued, "Will you let me drive you home now, please?"

I nodded, and without letting go of my fingertips Jasper began to lead me back to the car.

It was then I noticed the way his hair clung to his face, the softer expression that lingered on his features. Droplets of water fell from different parts of his body, and I watched as one slid down his cheek, then his neck, collarbone…

And everything Rose had told me came rushing back, and in a way I finally understood.

I stopped, gripping his fingers to get his attention.

He looked back at me and I knew I was a goner then.

Fuck it.

I walked forward, hands outstretched to grasp his face, and with gentle confidence, I hadn't felt before, I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his.

Gentle, unsure, loving.

It was short and sweet and warmed every fibre of my being.

I pulled back, scared to look at him, but I needed to know.

In different circumstances, I would have laughed at the shocked, frozen expression on his face. But as the seconds ticked by, it only filled me with dread. I jumped at the feeling of his fingers slipping up my hand, settling on my wrist, right over my pulse.

And then…

A burst of what I could only describe as a kind of love flooded my mind, and this time it was Jasper who surged forward, and all other thoughts, worries or what-ifs left my mind.

I had never felt more alive.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-One - Lets Get Lost

Touch me I'm cold, unable to control

Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows

And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination

If just for tonight, darling

Let's get lost, Beck, Bat for Lashes

Oh, hello there, consequences-of-my-own-actions. Good to see you again.

I was staring at my bedroom ceiling, blankets pulled up to my chin. I was unblinking, and probably quite fearful if I do say so myself.

When I initially woke up, I thought last night surely must have been a dream. It was the many missed calls and texts from my friends checking where I went last night that alerted me to the reality of what happened.

And then I felt my stomach drop.

I had mixed emotions about the whole thing to be sure, and I was hoping that staring at the ceiling would somehow resolve every issue I had.

I groaned throwing a pillow over my face. What was I thinking?

It had been a strange end to the night.

One moment, Jasper and I had been… ahem… kissing, the next he was gone and I stood alone in the rain. I would have assumed I had gone a little crazy if Jasper's car wasn't in front of me. I had called out to him, but he didn't appear for a few minutes. He looked… scared, and this time it was I who approached him as though he was a frightened animal.

I took his hand in mine, trying to catch his eye, but he seemed to struggle with what to do, his mind whirling.

"Are you okay?" I had asked him, and we stood like that, hand in hand in the rain until we eventually got back into the car and drove back to Forks.

I had so many questions for him, but his anxious form made me pause, and I wondered what had set off this jumpy behaviour. Was it because we kissed? Perhaps it was a conversation best had the next day.

And so this brought me back to now, and I dealt with all of this confusion surrounding the gorgeous, curly-haired immortal, in the best way I knew how.

Pretend it wasn't happening.

Just for now. I already had too many people to fix things with, he'll have to go down the list.

My phone buzzed once more on my bedside table, and I pulled the covers up even higher, glancing a nervous look at it. I cringed thinking about how to talk to Joe, and I was terrified at the thought of what he might have told everyone already. The hurt in his voice rang in my ears and I buried my head in my hands.

I should have never said yes to that date.

I groaned again. Throwing back the blankets, I finally sat up, huffing. I was scared to look in a mirror knowing last night's makeup was still plastered over my face.

A movement out of the corner of my eye drew my attention. I looked over to my bedroom window and jumped.

"Alice!" I hissed as she opened the window and slipped into the room grinning. "Would you be careful! Someone might see you!"

Alice rolled her eyes, "There's no one about. Besides I needed to talk to you… you know, about last night." She bounced on her toes and threw herself down beside me. She frowned, "What?"

I was scowling at her. I needed someone to blame for all of my problems, and my future-seeing friend seemed a good place to start.

I threw the covers off and rose from the bed, "Shouldn't you be at school or something?"

I could feel her watching my movements as I left the room. I walked down the stairs, desperate for some coffee.

"Jesus!" I jumped as Alice appeared in front of me, hands-on-hips looking thoroughly unamused.

"What's going on?" She tapped her foot, as I began making some coffee "I thought you would be excited-"

"Excited?" I feigned ignorance, "Whatever about?... Oh!" I turned to her with a sweet, sarcastic smile, "You mean all the secrets you've been keeping from me?"

Alice pouted, though at least had the decency to look sheepishly guilty, "I didn't want to! Everyone kept telling me to keep it to myself, between Edward and Jasper… Ugh, I've been ready to explode!"

I scowled again, "I had to find out last night, from Rosalie."

Alice growled, "I know! I'm furious at her!" She crossed her arms in a huff, "Though… I suppose I also have to thank her," She said almost begrudgingly, "My visions were all over the place last night, but after she must have told you, there were some possibilities that appeared about you and Jaz," She grinned, "That's why I sent him. I knew if I made it seem like something was wrong he would go find you straight away, and then it would be more likely…" She trailed off, looking worried at my unamused reaction. "But-"

"So you were playing about with what could happen, just so you could have things go your way?" I asked.

Alice shuffled, "Well… I mean, I saw how happy you two would be, but I couldn't figure out… and then you were going on a date- I mean-"

I cut her off, less irritated, but still firm, "How long have you known?" I didn't want to bring him up, I knew I would blush and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction… yet.

Her mouth twisted, as though she was worried to tell me the truth.

A while then.

I sipped my coffee casually, "Well?"

She looked around the room, "Well, I suppose… The first night I came to talk to you." She rocked back and forth on her heels as I choked on my coffee.

"What?" I spluttered, "You mean that day I broke into your house?" God that felt like so long ago, a different life, so far from where I was now.

"Um… Yes?" She smiled hesitantly.

"Alice!"

"I know, I'm sorry! I told Jaz and he was furious-"

"You told him!" Now I was blushing, "He knew this whole time and you didn't tell me!"

Christ. Jasper had known this whole time, yet he never gave it away, at least, not in the beginning. How embarrassing.

"I know, I know!" Alice bounced desperately, looking very sorry indeed, "I didn't even really tell him, but he could tell I was excited about something, and Edward can hear everything and so he brought it up and everyone was arguing about Bella and-!" She pouted again, and reached forward, grabbing my hand that wasn't holding the coffee, "and I'm really really really sorry for keeping it from you. You're not an outsider to us, you're like family! I suppose we have just been so tight-knit and protective of each other, that we just naturally hide things. I'm sorry." she smiled genuinely.

Ugh.

There's that annoying thing about Alice. It's soooo difficult to stay angry at her.

"I suppose I can forgive you. But no more messing with things or secrets or whatever! At least not without telling me first, got it?" I pointed a finger at her.

She squealed, launching herself at me with a hug, "oh this is so exciting!"

"Hey! Watch the coffee." I held it up in the air away from her, desperately balancing the liquid inside. "why are you so excited about the possibility of something may be happening. He and I haven't even spoken yet."

"Why wouldn't I be excited about this silly? Two of my favourite people in the whole wide world, are meant to be together and live happily ever after. That's all I could want for both of you!"

I rolled my eyes, "you're so dramatic," but her knowing look told me she saw me suppressing my smile into my coffee. "Listen, just don't get your hopes up, okay? Like I said, we haven't even spoken about it yet. Whatever it is."

Alice just hummed but said nothing more.

I continued on, "I have more important things to worry about right now, anyway."

Alice gasped, "what could be more important than this!"

My eyes once again rolled to the ceiling, "I know it's shocking to hear, but my love life is not my main concern right now."

"This stinks of you ignoring your problems," Alice said rather sing-songy.

"I am not," I snapped back, throwing myself down on a chair at the kitchen table, "if anything I'm trying to figure out how to solve them." I furrowed my brows in worry, clutching my mug.

Alice seemed to sense my serious tone and floated over and sat in the chair opposite me, "Hey," she smiled reassuringly and took my hand once more, "everything's going to work out, trust me." she squeezed my hand with a knowing look.

Ah. She wasn't just saying that to make me feel better. She meant it, she had seen it.

That was somehow extremely comforting, to know there's a guarantee that it would all be okay. If only part of Alice's ability was to shoot me forward in time to when everything was okay.

I smiled back, feeling slightly less tense than I did when I woke up. "thanks."

"So…" her Golden eyes twinkled, "tell me everything."

I cleared my throat, looking away from her, "there's nothing to tell."

"That's such a lie! With the way Jasper paced around the house panicking for the rest of the night, I just know what happened! And he wouldn't talk to me about it!"

"So why do I have to talk about it?" I demanded, cheeks flushing with heat.

"Because you're my best friend! You have to tell me. I know you want to." she wiggled her eyebrows and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Well, I suppose…"

And so I rambled on about our encounter, Alice oohing and ahhing as I described the dramatic kiss in the rain.

"But then he panicked or something?" my lips twisted, "I dunno, maybe I freaked him out." I gasped, leaning forward, "what if I'm… a bad kisser?"

Alice gasped, "No way, that's not possible." she rolled her eyes, "he's like Edward, all doom and gloom and worst-case scenario. He'll come around."

"Ah the words every girl hopes to hear, 'he'll come around'. So Romantic."

"Oh shush, you know what I mean."

"I really don't." I went to sip my coffee when I noticed that far-off look in Alice's eye, "everything okay? What are you seeing?"

She blinked a few times, coming back to reality, "oh! She's here now."

"eh? Who-"

There were three loud bangs at the door which made me jump, and before I could even ask, Alice stood and went to answer it.

"Hi!" I heard her grin from across the room. I leaned to the side trying to see who it was, "Come on in, she's waiting for you."

"Riiight…" Addy walked around Alice, an incredulous look on her face.

Shit…

I slid down in my chair, desperate to disappear.

Unfortunately, I was very much in the direct line of fire for Addy.

"Where the hell have you been?" She demanded, her stern tone making me disappear further down.

"I've been… here?"

Addy scowled but quickly turned to Alice who had let out a giggle.

"Oh." She blinked, "I better get going, I'm late for school." Alice winked at me, then gracefully left the house, closing the door behind her.

Addy whipped around to me baffled, "What's she doing here?"

I shrugged, massaging my forehead, "Who knows. Just Esme stuff."

"And she skipped school?" Addy looked unsure.

"She's a bit of a weirdo."

"Yeah, I can tell." Addy let out a breath and took what had previously been Alice's seat. She slumped back into the chair. "I'm very annoyed at you, ya know."

I cringed, looking down into the almost empty mug, "I know…" I mumbled.

"Why didn't you answer your phone! We've all been trying to contact you since last night!"

"I just… I didn't know what to say. I was so worried you'll all hate me."

"Hate- What? What are you talking about?"

I looked up confused "What are you talking about."

"I'm talking about you disappearing last night, with no one knowing where you were! It's dangerous at the moment, haven't you seen the news? All those animal attacks! We were so worried-"

"Worried?" Uh.. this is not going where I thought it was going to.

"Of course! What did you think I meant?"

"I thought you were going to talk about what happened with Joe and me! That I… ran off…" I trailed off, ashamed.

"What are you talking about? That's none of our business. Besides even Joe was more worried about making sure you were okay, hence why he told Grace and me. And you haven't even looked at your phone!"

"Oh…"

"Oh Clara," She folded her arms on the table, leaning forward, expression, "Did you really think we would all hate you over some silly date?"

"Yes?" I asked unsurely.

"Don't be stupid, we're all adults. You don't seem the type to do something like that maliciously." She tried to meet my eyes, concern edged across her face, "You okay? What did happen?" She asked gently.

I blew out a large breath and leaned down to Addy's eye level, copying her position. I looked at her and frowned, "I just panicked… I was just freaking out about stuff in my head and just needed… to get out of there, I needed some air. And then I knew he would end up leaving thinking I was gone, and I tried to go and stop him, but he was… already gone." Not the whole truth, but not a total lie. "... I should have never gone on that date." I finished.

Addy smiled sympathetically, "Probably not, maybe you weren't ready, or maybe Joe isn't the one for you." She shrugged, "At the end of the day though, it's not like you were together, it's just a date. Just apologise to him and explain what happened, just as you did to me. You know Joe, he'll understand."

"You think so?"

"Definitely. Nothing bad happened last night, did it? You got home okay?"

"Oh yeah, apart from worrying about you lot I was okay, I managed to get someone to… give me a lift home." Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush.

We shared a smile. As the day went on I just kept feeling lighter and lighter.

"Now," She sat up, all annoyance having melted away from her body, "Go and get yourself ready."

"Uh… to go where?" I asked.

"You want to apologise to Joe right? Well, let's go!"

Turns out Addy is quite the schemer. Since she started work not long after she had arrived at my house, it was the perfect excuse for me to give her a lift to the store…

… And talk to Joe as he left.

We spent the whole journey going back and forth. Addy pretended to be Joe so I could practice what to say and I tried to listen to her motivational words

"Okay, jump out and wait here, I'll go and get him."

"Okay…"

I stood awkwardly by my car, heart thumping. I stood up straight as Joe exited the shop, bouncing down the stairs.

Well, he seems okay…

That was until he spotted me waiting in the car park. Addy was standing at the door, thumbs up at me.

I suppressed the urge to scream.

You could have at least told him I was here.

Joe stuck his hands in his pockets and moseyed over to me. "Hi."

"Hi."

A moment passed and I felt like the silence was suffocating.

"I'm glad you're okay." Joe offered, looking over my face, "I was really worried."

I frowned guiltily, "I know, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

Joe smiled slightly, then turned to move. I reached out waving my arms, "Wait!"

He turned to me, brows raised, "I just… need to explain, to apologise-"

"Hey, it's okay Clara-"

"No, it's not." I cut him off firmly, "Don't be all nice to me, you should be upset and angry at me. It's not nice being left like that."

I saw a brief flash of embarrassment across his face, and hurried on, explaining to him what had happened.

"I'm sorry Joe. I should never have said yes."

His mouth twisted into a bitter smile, "Hey… we can't force ourselves to have feelings for someone if they're not there. It's okay, that's what dates are for, to figure it out."

"But still-!"

"And honestly, I got the impression you weren't super interested anyway."

"Oh, God…" I buried my face in my hands cringing, "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean-"

Joe looked at me for a moment and then smiled, "It's okay Clara, I forgive you. Granted my ego will be bruised for a few days, but I am a big boy, I can take a little heartache. If anything I just wish you had replied to someone's texts, I was really worried you had gotten hurt or something. I'm glad that isn't the case."

I felt myself tearing up. This stupid boy is too much, why couldn't he just shout at me.

"Are you crying?" He asked alarmed.

"No!" I sobbed. I couldn't help it, "I just feel so stupid. I spent all night and all morning terrified you'd all hate me for being such an idiot!"

Joe laughed, "I mean your definitely an idiot and your rejection methods aren't the best." SOB, "... but I don't think we could ever hate you, Clara. You're part of the group now, one date won't change that."

I cried harder, unable to keep the tears of relief from falling. Joe seemed torn between shock and laughter. Shaking his head, he stepped forward and wrapped me into his arms, "You really are very dramatic Clara."

"Am not." I sniffled into his shoulder. The hug wasn't romantic or gentle. It was one of friendship and comfort.

I pulled back after a moment, wiping my face with my sleeve. "I'm sorry, I got tears and snot on your jacket."

Joe looked down and cringed in disgust, "My god woman you really have it out for me."

I laughed, my chest light. I took a deep breath, "Let me make it up to you. How would you like me to say sorry?"

"You don't have to-"

I rolled my eyes cutting him off, "Shut up and pick something."

He narrowed his eyes and then brought a finger to his chin, tapping it in thought. "Hmm.. okay. I have two requests."

I nodded for him to continue.

"So, first thing, promise not to leave some poor soul on a date like that again, or disappear without telling someone where you're going, okay?"

"Okay, that's fair," I conceded, "And the second thing."

"I want you to bake me an 'I'm sorry' cake."

"Pardon?"

He grinned, "I want a chocolate cake, with loads of icing and the words 'I'm sorry' written on top. And you have to do it all yourself by hand. So I really know you mean it."

I looked at him unbelieving and then burst out laughing, to which he soon joined, "Well okay," I nodded, "I can do that. Can't promise it'll be any good, but I'll put all my blood sweat and tears into it."

"Excellent, just what I like to hear."

I smiled, "So we're really okay?"

"Yeah, we're all good… You know, as long as I get that cake. Otherwise, all apologies are null and void." His cheeky grin made me smile, and I was relieved that I would still have my friend by my side, regardless of how much I messed up.

Something behind me caught Joe's eye and I turned to see what he was looking at. I snorted with laughter seeing Addy squinting from the shop door, obviously having watched the whole encounter.

Joe and I looked at each other, then simultaneously shot her a thumbs up.

Addy grinned.

I could feel my mother's eyes on me.

We sat on opposite ends of the sofa from each other, the TV playing the evening news.

I was hunched over, focusing hard on the objects in my hands, the tea my mom had made me sitting abandoned on the floor beside me.

"Yes?" I asked, not looking up.

"Oh nothing," My mom mused, "just wondering what the heck you're doing?"

I looked up, smiling amused, "I'm whittling."

Mom nodded, "Hmm, yes I thought that… Why are you whittling?"

"Hobby."

"Since when?"

"Since a while."

"Riiight… And what is it that you're making?"

"None of your business," I huddled over it again, a slight blush rising in my cheeks.

My mother made a noise to indicate she was offended but said no more, huffing into her mug.

I glanced at her, "So… no seeing Charlie tonight?"

I smothered a laugh as I saw her tense up.

"I don't spend all my free time with Charlie."

"Uh-huh… He's working, is he?"

She shrugged unconvincingly, "I don't know." She mumbled.

"Yeah sure…" I glanced at her again, then smirked, "Oh there he is!" I exclaimed, pointing toward the door.

"Where?" Mom jumped from the sofa and pressed up against the door staring across the way.

Her head tilted to the side, "That's not Charlie…" She pressed her face against the glass and gasped, "It's Bella and the Cullen boy!"

I dropped what I was doing and before I knew it, I too was pressed up against the window.

Edward's car was parked out the front of Bella's house. They were talking, Bella leaning toward the car window to hear what he was saying from the driver's seat.

My eyes widened. What is this! I get the silent treatment and Ed charms his way out of everything. "Oh you bastard," I said without even realising.

"Clara!" My mom admonished me, but I was too busy regretting what I said because I just knew he had heard.

His head tilted slightly, and Bella's eyes flicked up, her line of sight matching up directly with our watchful gaze.

I could see the embarrassment on her face at being caught. Edward said something else to her and she nodded. As Edward pulled away in his car (with what I swear was a smirk on his face) Bella walked toward our house.

After managing to convince my mom to give us some privacy, I met Bella on our porch. It was an awkward few moments as we leaned against opposite sides, neither of us saying much. My eyes flicked around before I sighed.

"So-"

"I'm-"

Why is this so awkward.

I cleared my throat, ready to speak but Bella beat me to it.

"Uh… so I was at Port Angeles last night… and I… well, Edward found me."

"Found you?" I raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean found you? Were you lost?"

"Uh no… well, there was just a thing… but I'm fine-"

"You're being very confusing, what thing?"

Bella bit her lip, clearly frustrated that she couldn't get the words she wanted out, "No, listen it doesn't matter the point is, I know."

"You know?"

"I know."

My eyes widened, understanding very much what she now knew. "Oh."

Wow, he did it. He told her what he was.

"Yeah… it's kinda…" She trailed off.

"Crazy? Impossible? Insane? Yet not all that shocking when you think about it?" I finished for her.

"All of the above." She smiled and the atmosphere began to thaw, tension floating away with the wind. "Honestly they really are not a subtle family, at all, you just need to look at them to know something is different."

"And somehow we are the only two, as far as I am aware, who have managed to put two and two together."

Bella nodded, then looked at me curiously, "How long have you known? Edward didn't really tell me much about what you knew or anything. I'm assuming since you started hanging around their house to work with 'Esme'."

"Hey," I protested, "That's actually true okay! I may know a supernatural family, but I still want to get my life together, and Esme is a good teacher." I twisted my mouth, looking down, "But yeah, I've known for a while, I suppose I knew something for years in a way."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward didn't say? I went to High school with them, not unlike you now, back in Alberta. Alice was my best friend. Well, until I almost figured them out and they left without a word."

"What?" Bella obviously had not been informed of this fact.

"I know! Imagine how mad I thought I was when I started hearing all about the Cullen's around town."

"That's why you were asking about them?"

"You got me." I smiled, "It was hard to process, as you could imagine, for both me and them. It felt a bit uncertain for a while about what would happen now that I knew, but as you can see, I'm still in one piece. Glad to see you are too."

Bella smiled awkwardly and looked away. I could see the red growing on her face.

I grinned, "So… you two are together now then?"

"What?" Bella looked at me wide-eyed.

"Listen, kid, I knew about Edwards's obsession with you before you did."

"He's not obsessed." She grumbled.

"Yeah, Okay." I rolled my eyes, teasing. "Just be careful…" I said.

She looked at me, serious, firm, "I trust Edward."

I scanned her face but saw no trace of doubt. She was either really brave or really stupid, to have no fear or doubts. I couldn't relate to that, with how all over the place I've been.

I nodded, "Okay."

She looked away, then back again, "I'm sorry for how I acted. I shouldn't have snapped at you or given you the silent treatment. Was childish of me."

I smiled, "Well you are a teenager, I suppose I can forgive you." She smiled, and I continued, "Besides, I know what it's like to feel crazy like that. To not know what's real or not… I'm only sorry I couldn't tell you the truth."

Bella shook her head, "It's okay, I understand what you mean now, it wasn't your secret to tell. I couldn't do it either, not now that I know…"

We smiled in understanding, and I blew out a breath, "How good does it feel to have another human to talk about this stuff with!"

And talk we did. We sat on the porch, discussing all we could with each other in relation to this strange family we were becoming a part of, comforted that we weren't alone in it.

After dinner, I could no longer avoid it. I drove to the Cullen's hands sweaty as they gripped the steering wheel. I needed to talk to him. I needed to know what the hell was going on.

I entered the house as though it was my own. There was no one around, it was unnerving, my footsteps echoing in my ears as I made my way to his office.

Jasper stood in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets. He was staring out the window, clearly deep in his own mind, most likely thinking about the events of the previous night.

Join the club.

His head turned toward me, those eyes sending a shiver down my spine. There was a moment when we just looked at each other, and I blushed to remember the feeling of his lips on mine. Then I was worried. Worried I was about to be very rejected and very embarrassed.

Then he smiled and I melted.

"Hi," I whispered.

He scanned me from top to bottom, and I tensed up at being stared at.

He smirked, "You can stop looking so scared. I'm not going to eat you up."

I glared, and then desperately pushed my dirty suggestive thoughts from my brain.

"Glad to see you're acting normal," I grumbled, moving to sit on the sofa, slouching down, crossing my arms.

Jasper looked away chuckling, then followed suit, slouching down low beside me, his legs out straight beside mine.

I pursed my lips, "What are you doing? It looks unnatural for you to be slouching."

"I'm trying new things these days. I think I could get used to it."

I bit my lip suppressing a smile, looking at my feet which rocked back in forth. I felt like a school kid. His foot slid over and nudged mine.

We sat in the quiet for a while, playing footsie.

My god what is happening.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, my hands coming to a rest in my lap. I turned to him, "So… what happened last night? You know like… not all of it, not the um… kiss. I mean after? Did I… do something wrong.

Jasper smiled as though I had said something ridiculous. I jumped slightly when he gently grabbed my wrist, turning it so my palm was facing upwards. His cool fingers caused a shiver, but I watched as his fingers came to a stop over my pulse. He stared down at where his fingers sat, thinking.

"You must understand that I am very unprepared for what the future seems to hold for us. Or at least what Alice tells me."

My breath caught when he said us, but I said nothing, wanting him to continue.

"It was never in my mind that a human would be the one I was supposed to spend my life with. Humans are short-lived and fragile. If anything, I never expected, nor really wanted another mate." His fingers began moving gently up and down, "I am not good around humans, I find it… difficult, to be surrounded by them, in close proximity. To act human when I'm not… not anymore, not for a long time."

He looked up at me, watching my reactions closely, but never letting go, "Alice and I were the last to join the family, the transition to our special diet was very difficult for me. I spent most of my life as a predator, longer than I ever was mortal… It is, worrying to me. That I could want someone so much, yet put them in so much danger just by being near them. My self-control can be lacking at times…"

"Does that mean you drank… human blood?"

"Yes."

"I thought my blood was very unappealing for you all or whatever?" I asked quietly, slightly unnerved, but strangely warm knowing Jasper trusted me enough to open up like this.

He smiled ruefully, "Perhaps, it doesn't smell as sweet, but one cut, and I'm not sure I could control myself. Not like the others…"

"Does me being here make you uncomfortable? I don't want to cause you pain. You know, by like, existing."

"Being around you… is the most comfortable I've felt in a very long time." He said it with such sincerity it made my heart flutter and I couldn't help but bashfully smile.

"Don't say things like that."

"Why not?" He asked, "I mean what I say."

"Does that mean… that you would like to continue to be around me?" I looked up hesitantly through my eyelashes, heart pounding as I awaited his answer.

He pressed down slightly on my pulse, "I don't think I have much of a choice at this point. It's like you've imprinted your whole being on me, and I can't let go. Nor do I want to."

My eyes widened, never having heard such declarations. I looked down at his fingers on my wrist, "Why do you like to do that?"

He looked down, his thumb running over my veins, "It reminds me you're real… that you're alive and here… with me."

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Two - Your Song

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind

That I put down in the words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Your Song, Elton John

"See, look how cute he is," I leant over Jasper's desk taking in the image of the little wooden horse, with his new little wooden hat. I turned smiling with satisfaction, ignoring Jasper's raised eyebrow. "Just agree with me okay?" I said.

"If it keeps you happy."

"Awh, I knew you cared about my feelings." I dramatically placed a hand on my chest.

"Uh-huh."

What we were now, I wasn't sure, I don't think Jasper was either. I suppose in a way we didn't want to think too deeply about the situation. As I had said to Alice, a vampire and a human? I don't see how that could work out in the long run, but we were strangely happy, enjoying each other's company over the last few days, not doing any more than the occasional touch and warm longing looks.

When I arrived to do some work with Esme I was surprised to see that Jasper had skipped school. He said nothing to specify why,  simply hummed that he didn't feel like going in. I just took it as a good opportunity to share with him the little hat I made for his wooden horse.

"Well, I better go and find Esme." I stretched, yawning.

"She's gone."

"What? Since when?" I asked.

"Since a while. I think she thought we would be a while."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was enjoying the view."

Damn him, I knew the blush was rising on my cheeks and I grumbled, "Shut up."

He smiled victoriously.

"Well now, what am I gonna do," I whined, not sure how to fill my day. I had work the next morning, which I was really not looking forward to and wanted to make the most of my time before dragging myself out of bed in less than twenty-four hours.

"Well-" Jasper started, but was promptly cut off by the buzzing of my phone, indicating I had a text.

It was Joe. Oof, was that guilt in my gut? I saw Jasper shift curiously, but I didn't want to meet what I was sure was a questioning gaze.

Thank God he doesn't have Edward's power.

I opened the text and saw it was an image he had sent me with the caption Yoghurt anyone? I immediately started giggling, typing a quick reply.

Addy clearly wasn't having a good day at work. She was sitting on the ground surrounded what looked like many broken tubs of yoghurt looking very cross indeed. That girl really needs to get a new job, I don't know how much longer she'll survive without burning that place down in rage.

"What are you laughing at?" Jasper asked.

I looked up amused at what sounded like a rather miffed tone coming from him. Interesting.

"Sorry, are you feeling neglected?"

He scowled at me, "Just answer the question."

I giggled and moved to stand beside him to give him a good view of the photo. "That's Addy. She doesn't really like work and honestly, it's crazy how often things like this tend to happen to her. Provides plenty of entertainment for Joe and me, I have to say."

I smiled warmly at the screen, happy to know things are getting back to normal between us.

I felt the gaze burning itself into the side of my head. I turned to look at Jasper, and his eyes narrowed as though that would make him read my mind.

I rolled my eyes, "I don't like Joe like that! I think we already established that considering it was you I was making out with the other night, not him."

For once I was desperate to see a human Jasper because I just knew the way he averted his gaze that he would have been the one to blush this time.

"You just seemed very happy to see a message from him." He grumbled.

Jealous Jasper is very amusing.

I smiled, "I'm just happy we're still friends that's all. Besides, you're the only one I'm carving tiny horses for." Feeling brave, I leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

He looked surprised for a moment, and then allowed himself to look pleased, "I suppose that's true…" Jasper ran a finger down my hand in hesitation, and then asked, "Would you like to spend the day with me?"

He was looking at me intently, as though he was waiting for me to decline the invitation. He must be crazy if he thought that.

"I would love that," I said genuinely, eager for the opportunity to find out more about him, feeling there was still so much to learn.

Very out of character, he grinned, his hand finally grasping mine completely. I felt the butterflies swirling in my stomach as they always did when he touched me, and allowed him to pull me behind him as we left the room and made our way through the house.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he led me down into the garage of the house. Interestingly I had never been to this room and was instantly in shocked awe at the very nice, very expensive-looking cars that were parked about the place.

Jasper had stopped in front of one such car and released my hand. Opening the passenger door, he indicated to me, "I have an idea."

I raised an eyebrow but didn't argue, choosing to just go along with the ride, "Well, okay then. I'm going to choose to trust you." I climbed into the seat.

Jasper leaned in toward me, "A terrible idea really." He smirked and closed the door, and in a split second he was in the driver seat beside me and the engine revved to life.

The garage door opened and soon we were off down the driveway and on our way to whatever location Jasper had in mind.

"Are we going far?" I asked, analysing the scenery as it flew by, pleased to see that at the very least, it wasn't raining.

"Not really, about twenty minutes out of Forks."

I hummed in response. "So… What do you like to do for fun?"

"What?"

"Come on, I wanna know all the little silly things about you!"

"There is nothing silly about me."

I rolled my eyes pressing on, "Come on, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Read."

"Yes that one's obvious," I said impatiently, "What else?"

He pursed his lips thinking. "This is ridiculous-" He said frustrated.

"Jasper," I said in a sing-song voice.

He growled quietly, tapping his fingers in thought, "I suppose I enjoy music."

"What kind of music?"

"Lots of different kinds of music. I have been alive for a long time, it varies."

"Hmm, do you have any CDs then?" I asked, and opened the glove compartment which he pointed to. I riffled through them, amused at the different eras from Big Band and Frank Sinatra to Elvis, and then the 80s and 90s. "Oh!" I squeaked excitedly. Pulling one from the pile I popped the CD into the player and skipped straight to my desired track.

Facing Jasper, I leaned back against the window enjoying the sound of 'You Song' by Elton John filling the air.

Jasper glanced at me, "You're a fan?"

"Of course, who isn't?"

Jasper smirked, "Edward."

I blew a raspberry, "Of course he isn't, I'm pretty sure he just listens to 'Clair De Lune' on repeat."

Jasper laughed, head shaking, "'Clair De Lune' is good."

"Of course it is, my point stills stands."

He shook his head again, amused.

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile, enjoying watching him in such a relaxed state. I continued, "So you like to read and listen to music. You really are so different and unique. What else do you like to do?"

He gave me a look, but blew out a breath, seeming to accept my questioning, "Well… I suppose…" He hesitates, giving me a quick look out of the corner of his eye. I smiled reassuringly, wanting him to continue, "As I told you before, being around humans is a struggle, and while Forks is small, there are still a lot of humans within close vicinity. Especially when at school."

I snorted, the annoyance of attending High School again clear.

Choosing to ignore my laugh, he continued, "I care about my family a lot and being around them is the time I can be most myself, but you also never seem to get much privacy."

"Yeah the whole being able to hear everything each other does all the time doesn't really sound fun to me, I must admit."

He smirked, then indicated out the window, "so sometimes when it all feels a bit too much I have a certain place I like to go to, it's… calming. Helps me gain some control in a way." He turned to me smiling, "That's where I'm taking you."

My eyes widened slightly, "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on a private spot."

"I'm sure." He affirmed, "I want to share it with you. Besides… There are times I'd like more privacy with you, away from the others."

I quickly turned to look ahead, biting the insides of my cheeks to stop the bashful grin from appearing on my face.

"Ahem… your favourite colour?" I asked, ignoring his comment.

"I don't know," he mused, "Blue probably."

"Ooh yes, I can definitely see that, blue would suit you."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means you suit the colour blue."

"That didn't clear it up for me."

"You know, like if you wore a blue sweater, it would look really nice. That kind of thing."

Jasper glanced down at his green t-shirt and looked as though he was regretting his decision.

I laughed, "Don't worry, you basically make anything look good."

"Oh, you think so?"

"Uh-huh." I bit my lip admiring the view, before glancing away.

Gosh is it getting hot in here?

A thought occurred to me then, "What age are you? Not like your actual age, but the age you're like, frozen at or whatever."

"Why? Worried you'll be seen hanging out with a seventeen-year-old?"

"Yes, actually."

He let out a breathy laugh, "I was turned when I was nineteen."

"Oh, wow… That's so strange to think about, I'm only a couple of years older, I couldn't imagine what it must be like to stay like that, well, forever…"

He gave me a reassuring look, and I felt myself relax (no doubt his influence), "You get used to it… well, most of the time."

I looked him over, "You certainly don't look or act like a nineteen-year-old, you seem… older."

"I suppose being a part of the Civil war would do that to a person."

"Um… WHAT? What do you mean the Civil War."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "I already told you when I was born."

"Yeah, but remembering historical dates isn't my strong suit!"

He merely laughed and then said, "We're here."

He had parked in a little dirt clearing that would be hard to spot if you hadn't already known it was here. The forest was dense and dark here, and the silence was only broken by the sounds of the car doors closing and the crunch of our feet against the forest floor.

"We have some walking to do before we get to the spot, is that okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I enjoy a hike."

"Good," He opened the boot and pulled out a coat, "Here," He said wrapping it around me, "It'll be cool because of the shade."

"Oh, thanks," I smiled bashfully.

"Shall we?" He led the way, walking at what I could only guess was a much slower pace than he usually goes. My human legs appreciated it.

"So…" I said, my feet cracking twigs as I walked, "The civil war huh?"

He gave me that look again, the one with the raised eyebrow.

I leaned forward flicking his forehead, "Don't look at me like that, you never told me you were a soldier! … It must be very strange. To see how different the world is now, compared to then. How the outcome of it all changed, well, everything."

He nodded, "Things… are very different."

"In a better way?" I asked.

"Yes. Different, but better." he nodded again, thinking. "I wasn't even human when the war ended. The human one anyway. I went from one army to another."

"What, like a vampire army?"

"Yes, fighting for territory in Texas. Feeding grounds."

He glanced at me, and I couldn't help the shiver that ran through me. Hunting for humans.

"I spent more of my life surrounded by bloodshed than not. It was tiring." His brows furrowed, "I got out of it eventually, and a few years later I met Alice."

"And she brought you to the Cullen's?" I asked.

"Yes," He smiled fondly, "She saw me coming." He looked at me, "Their stories aren't mine to tell, but my upbringing was different from the rest of my family, they were already adjusted to our 'special' diet by the time I joined them, hence why I've been playing catch up."

"Wow," I said blinking. I moved closer to him, grasping his arm in what I hoped was a comforting way, "Well, I've never craved blood before, I must admit," He laughed at that which made me smile, "but I know it must be extremely difficult to change how you've lived basically your whole life. Quite brave really."

He shook his head, "I'm not brave…" He looked at me curiously, "Are you not disgusted? By what I was before, what I did."

He was referring to the killing of humans I assumed.

I leant my head to the side, pursing my lips, "Well, I suppose it's difficult to know how to feel. Anyone dying is horrible, I hate to even think about it. But I wasn't even alive when any of that happened, I wasn't there, or know what it is even like to have an uncontrollable need like that. It's morally all over the place and I am not the one to decide if it's right or wrong." I looked at him, meeting his intense gaze, "...but that's not you, not anymore. Do you think I'd have come into this really scary forest alone with you?"

"You haven't been known to make the best decisions." He laughed, but the relieved smile he gave me was genuine, even if he didn't realise it.

"Wait!" I stopped walking, "What's your name then? It's obviously not Hale, is it?"

"No that's Rosalie's from her human life." He quirked an eyebrow, tipping an imaginary hat as he bowed, "Jasper Whitlock, ma'am, youngest major in the Texas calvary." Oh, that Texan drawl. Swoon

I giggled into my hands, "I definitely need to get you a little vest and boots."

Still giggling, I turned to continue walking, "Oh." We had stopped in front of a dead-end, a steep tree-infested hill halting our progress.

"If you don't mind ma'am," He continued with the accent, making me bite my lip to stop myself from laughing, "I'll need to carry you the rest of the way."

"You're going to carry me up there?" I turned back, looking up the uneven, dangerous-looking climb, "Is it safe?"

Jasper looked deeply offended, "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," He turned his back to me, and glanced over his shoulder, "Shall we?"

I blew out a breath, and shrugged, "why not." I hopped up onto his back, arms tightening around his neck, as his hands helped me gain some hold on his body, the feel of them on my thighs making me tingle and blush. I didn't mean to let out the shaky breath by his ear as I did, but when he tensed up at the motion, so did I.

"Are you okay?" I asked, leaning back slightly, "Should I get down?"

His grip tightened slightly and he stood straighter, "No, I'm ready." He turned his head, noses almost touching.

God, he is mesmerising.

"Ready?" He asked.

I simply nodded. His mouth lifted in a half-smile and he turned toward the incline.

"Hold on tight." He warned, but I could hear the excitement in his voice.

I tightened all my limbs and readied myself, but nothing could prepare me for the speed at which we moved from the ground and into the air.

I let out a squeak, burying my face into his neck.

We stopped with a bump, "You okay back there?"

I opened one eye, peaking out to the view below. "Oh wow." I leaned back slightly, gasping. The view was spectacular, a sea of green evenly spread out before us, the sky now in view, peeking through the tree tops.

"We aren't there yet." He quipped and started upward again.

I enjoyed the ease and joyful tone of his voice, and this time I watched in awe at the way he scaled up the trees with speed and finesse, barely taking a second to decide on his next move before he had already begun the task. One last grip of a branch and we made it to the top. He helped me down gently, having to hold my arms to keep me from falling over, my legs were like jelly.

"Wow," I caught my breath, "What a ride."

He smiled, "You're hearts beating very fast."

"Well duh, I think that's the most exciting this I've ever experienced."

He shook his head laughing but was clearly pleased.

"Come on." He took my hand and began walking again.

"There's more?"

"This is the place I was talking about." He said as we broke the treeline and the world seemed to open up all at once.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

It was a lake. And the most beautiful lake I had ever seen at that.

Blue clear water lapped gently, the sound filling my ears, the untouched otherworldly feeling of the place filling all of my senses.

I took a deep breath, pleased at the pure, wet nature air, allowing Jasper to bring me forward across the soft dew-covered grass.

My head whipped back and forth taking in all of the surroundings barely aware of Jasper's amused expression watching me.

We stopped short by the edge of the water, and I looked out across the water.

"It's beautiful," I said, "I can see why you like to come here. Ooh!" I moved toward a winding shallow river that ran away from the lake, but Jasper stopped me.

"Wait," He said while looking off into the distance.

"Is something there?" I looked behind him cautiously.

He smirked then and lifted me into his arms causing me to squeak. "Sorry," He said, not sorry at all, "You're just far too loud."

"Uh, rude! Where are you taking me anyway?"

He simply shushed me, and moved silently and quickly along one side of the river, eventually slipping into the treeline. He put me down by some large boulders, and crouched low, indicating for me to do the same.

He put a finger to his lip and indicated in front of us. I followed his gaze and had to put my hands across my mouth to stop from squeaking.

A little bear cub ran along the river, desperately trying to catch some fish as his mom watched on from the mouth of a cave.

I whipped my head to Jasper, buzzing with excitement.

I leaned against the top of the rock, fists on my cheeks. Jasper slid down beside me, back against the boulder.

I glanced at him and saw that his eyes were closed. I smiled gently, then turned back to my own personal nature documentary.

I'm not sure how long we sat like that, but as the minutes ticked on, I understood why Jasper loved this place so much, the atmosphere was calming.

Soon the little bear cub ran back to its mother, and Jasper continued his tour, showing me the best views and his favourite spots, all the while letting me experience the tree scaling and running on a vampire level again. I even got to get close to a family of deer.

I swear this is a dream

Jasper walked along the riverside while I hopped along some rocks which sat in the middle of the easy flowing water as we headed back to the main lake area.

"You're going to fall." He said.

"I am not, I have great balance."

"Is that a joke?"

"Shut up!"

He let out a breathy laugh and then hummed. After a moment he asked, "have you been with many people before?"

"Been with?" I asked, "As in like in a relationship?"

He grunted a yes, waiting for me to continue.

"Well just the one guy, Nick. He cheated on me though, so if we're going off of that track record, I'm not very successful."

"The one and only woman I courted turned me into a vampire first, so I suppose we both have bad luck."

I shrugged giggling, "I'm going to let you win in the department of having the worst luck with relationships then."

"Very kind of you."

"So…" I started, "Why are you… hmm," how to phrase it, "why do you, well… like me?"

Jasper watched me curiously, then tilted his head in thought, "For vampires it's different. We don't tend to 'date' around or whatever it is humans do these days. Once we find what we call a mate, we tend to stick to that person for, well forever really. Like Carlise and Esme or Rosalie and Emmett."

"But didn't you already have a mate?"

"No, not really. I called Maria my mate when I was with her, I never knew anything else. But I left and didn't want anything more to do with her coven. She used me, and my affection for her to get me to do what she wanted. That's not love… Besides," He glanced at me, "I know now what it is to have that draw to someone, so natural and quick that you don't even realise it is happening until you're in too deep."

"Sounds intense."

"You have no idea."

My heart fluttered, his words causing nervous butterflies to flow through my body. How do I even respond to that? It was, well a lot to hear all at once, yet not unwelcomed.

Oh, Jasper Whitlock, why do you confuse me so.

"Jasper- AH!" My sentence was cut off as my foot slipped and I went falling. Jasper was quick, stopping me from being consumed by the water, but I still was soaked all the way up my legs, mud and water sinking into my shoes and socks.

"Clara, are you okay?" He was worried.

All I could do was laugh, "I guess you were right, I was going to fall in eventually," I giggled.

The tension in his body melted away as he took in my smile, and he shook his head.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked.

I bit my cheek, eyes scanning his perfect face.

Hesitantly, I brought my face close to his, stopping short of his lips and looking into his eyes for confirmation. When he didn't pull away, I finally let our lips meet. It was very hesitant, short pecks to test the waters. I pulled back slightly, watching his expression, "Tell me if you want to stop." I said.

His golden eyes bore into mine, and he kissed me madly, desperately, as the sun began to set, the coolness of his hands only setting fire to my skin as he touched me gently, too afraid to break me, yet never wanting to let go.

If you asked either of us how we got to this point, how this was ever going to work out, I don't think we would be able to explain it.

But of one thing, I was certain.

I was so consumed by the spirit of Jasper Whitlock that I couldn't imagine how there could ever or would ever be a world where he wasn't mine.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Three - Invisible String

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Invisible String, Taylor Swift

"Move over!"

"No! I can barely see as it is!"

"You guys, be quiet! They'll hear us."

"We're in a car," Joe rolled his eyes, "they're not going to know we are here."

"To be fair," I pointed out, "The windows are rolled down."

"Oh."

If anyone walked past our parked car they would be very concerned I'm sure. Five fully grown adults squished together in the back seat, fighting for the best view out the rear window.

"It's warm in here!" Addy protested, "I barely have room to breathe."

"Do you think he's asked her yet?" Sophie asked.

"It's hard to tell" I squinted at the figures of Aaron and Grace walking lazily along the beach, "They're too far away."

"Well, he better hurry up, I can feel my spine breaking as we speak," Kate whined.

"We should have parked closer."

"Joe if we parked any closer we would have been on the beach with them!" Sophie snapped back, "Addy! Get off my foot!"

"Get your foot off my knee!"

"This is ridiculous!"

"AH watch my face!" Kate shouted.

"ACHOO."

"EW CLARA!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, hurrying to blow my nose. I groaned. I hated having a cold, and honestly, I really wished I was in bed with my blanket and hot water bottle, but I'd be damned if I missed Aaron finally asking Grace out. The silly boy really shouldn't have told his sisters where and when he was gonna do it because the first thing they did was pack us all into the car and spy on them.

"Ah look! Ow!" Addy banged her head off of the roof, pointing wildly ahead.

Sophie squealed, "They're hugging! It's happening, oh my God!"

I giggled, the excitement of Aaron's two sisters was rather heartwarming.

Kate hopped in her seat, "They're kissing! Oh my God, they're kissing!"

"Jesus Christ, you'd think they stopped world hunger," Joe leaned back against the window, but with the soft smile on his face, I could tell he was happy for his friends.

"Through their love, they'll bring world peace," I sighed dramatically to him. Then, after another sneeze, I said, "Can I go home now please?"

"Right now?" Kate whined, turning quickly.

"Oi watch it!" Addy hissed, falling backwards and flailing, her arm walking out and hitting Soph in the chin, who proceeded to fall backwards leg kicking out and her foot came flying toward me. Despite the illness haunting me currently, my reflexes were spectacular as I ducked out of the way.

Success for me. Not so much of a success for Joe. His face just happened to be in the direct line of fire for Sophie's foot, which connected perfectly with his cheek.

"Oh fuck!"

"Shit!"

"HE'S BLEEDING!"

"OH MY GOD JOE STOP, DON'T GET IT ON THE SEATS!"

"Don't think this is something you can just stop on a whim!"

It was Chaos.

Kate screamed, pointing through the rear window, and fell backwards into me.

I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

Grace and Aaron stared in at us like we had all suddenly grown two heads. Aaron reached forward opening the boot, giving both himself and Grace the perfect view of the mess that we were.

"What the hell are you all doing?" He asked, baffled.

"Were you spying on us?" Grace asked, a knowing look on her face.

"No…" Kate said, practically sitting on my lap.

"Oh my god, Joe are you okay?" Grace asked, leaning in cringing at the growing bruise on poor Joe's cheek.

He opened his mouth to speak but was promptly cut off by Addy, "HOW did you know it was us?"

I gave Joe a sympathetic look and offered him a tissue.

Aaron shook his head in disbelief, "Addy… This is the family car."

"Oh, yeah."

"Could someone please get me an icepack?" Joe piped up, still firmly crushed against the car door.

"There we go," My mom tucked me into bed, ensuring the blankets were wrapped firmly around me. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my Saturday night, though I couldn't be comfier.

"I'm not a little kid you know" I complained as I happily accepted the hot water bottle and warm milk from my mother, as she clucked around me.

"That doesn't mean I can't look after you when you're sick."

"I'm not dying! It's just a cold!"

"I can take the warm milk back if you like?"

She reached forward, "NO!" I clutched the mug to my chest protectively, pouting.

"That's what I thought." She nodded her head smugly. She placed a glass of water on my bedside table, along with some pain medication, "If your head gets sore take two of those, and make sure to drink plenty of water."

"Yeah, yeah I know." I smiled warmly, "Thank you."

"Of course sweetheart," She leaned forward kissing my forehead, "If you need me make sure you ring me."

"Are you going out?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Ah, I see." I smirked into my milk, "You and Charlie have fun."

"Oh shush you, and drink your milk."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She smiled shaking her head, As she reached the door of my room, I called out, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

I rested my mug on my knees, "I'm… well I'm really glad I'm here. I missed you."

"Oh Clara," She looked at me with love in her eyes, "I missed you more than anything."

Oh gosh, if she tears up, then I'll tear up, and we'll both just be a blubbering mess.

Clearing my throat to push away the tears, I continued, "Now off you go. And don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"You're ridiculous."

"I love you too."

The quiet was nice. the still calm of the house was soothing to my brain, which thankfully had stopped with the headaches for the time being.

I reached under my bed, pulled out my laptop and grasped for whatever DVD lay there and spent my evening sipping hot drinks and watching movies. I fell asleep a few times, never long enough to actually feel rested or for much time to go by, leading to some frustration on my end.

There was a pile of tissues gathering on the floor which I knew my mother would not be pleased about, but at this point, I didn't care.

I blew long and hard into a tissue and then looked at the contents with disgust, "Ugh how can there be so much? Gross."

"Are you looking at your own snot?"

I squealed throwing my tissue in the direction of my window, not that it went more than a few feet. Jasper watched it float to the ground, "And then you tried to throw it at me?"

I scowled, "What is with vampires and insisting on climbing through people's windows?" I sat up properly, leaning against some pillows. "We have doors, you know."

Jasper climbed into my bedroom with ease, and closed the window behind him, "It's a lot quicker." He made his way over to me, taking a seat on my bed.

"You have super speed." I shifted over to allow him to slide up next to me, our backs resting side by side against the pillows and headboard. I leaned against him smiling, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I hadn't heard from you all day really, I had to come and see you were okay."

"You simply had to? A phone call wouldn't suffice?" I asked teasing.

"Definitely not, how else would I get to see you?" He took my hand, "You don't sound good, are you sick?" He watched me with slight concern.

"Don't tell me you can cure illnesses now too."

He laughed, shaking his head, "No, unfortunately not."

I leaned against him, rubbing my nose with another tissue, "It's just the cold, so I sound a lot worse than I am." I leaned my chin on his shoulder and looked up at him, "Sorry if I made you worry."

"I always worry about you," He tapped his fingers on the back of my hand, "...But that's not because of you, I knew you would tell me if something was wrong, or at the very least Alice would know, she keeps an eye on you."

"Goodness aren't I lucky to have such protectors looking out for me?" I fluttered my lashes at him in exaggerated faux gratefulness, but I knew he could feel how pleased I was by his words.

He smiled, tipping his imaginary cowboy hat, "Don't mention it, ma'am."

"Ah, such a Southern Gentleman."

"I try."

I smiled, snuggling up against his side, the many layers and blankets surrounding me keeping out the coolness of his skin.

We sat like that for a while, enjoying each other's company and the peaceful atmosphere, the silence was only broken by Jasper quietly saying, "I can't believe this is real."

I looked up at him, my eyes meeting his stare, "What do you mean?"

"Just how different things have become in such a short amount of time. Us."

"Different in a good way though, right?"

He smiled, "The best."

"Ugh, we're so cheesy." I giggled.

"I resent that, I am sensible and full of rational thought."

"Can't be that rational if you ended up with me."

He hummed, "I suppose that's true, maybe I need to rethink some things."

"Never!" I attacked him, attempting to tackle him. He let me for a moment, before pulling me into his chest, holding me tightly. I giggled,

"Have you been in bed all day?" He asked, his chin resting on my head.

"No, I was out earlier with my friends. Two of them are dating now. I mean it's about time, but all I could think while we were waiting for them was how nice it would be to be in bed."

"Seems there are a lot of changes in Forks these days."

"Yeah… I wonder how Edward and Bella are getting on, I haven't really got speaking to her." I mused.

"Good I would imagine, considering he's with her right now."

"Eh?" I sat up, "What do you mean."

Jasper raised his eyebrow, "They're together."

"Where?"

"Bella's room?"

"What!" I pushed back my blankets. I was stopped from jumping from my bed by Jasper's gentle grip. Pulling me back against his chest, he put his lips to my ears, "You know, you sounded a lot more interested when I mentioned Edward was nearby than when I showed up in your room. What is a guy to think?"

I shivered at the close proximity, afraid to move. "If you think… That I am more interested in seeing Edward Cullen, than I am to have you in my bed, you're very much mistaken."

I turned around, planting a firm kiss on his mouth, pushing him back so he lay flat beneath me. He grinned into the kiss.

"I think I'm going to need more proof." He smirked between kisses

I obliged his request, deepening the kiss, hands weaving through his hair.

So soft.

"Oh no…" I pulled back swiftly, sitting upright, just as another sneeze racked through my body, causing me to fall backwards.

Jasper grasped my waist stopping me from falling off the bed. He laughed, pressing a tissue to my nose.

"Thank you," I mumbled, taking the tissue and blowing my nose loudly. "I've just realised how gross I must look, sorry if I sneezed all over your face."

Jasper brought a hand to my cheek, caressing it gently, chuckling, "Lucky for you, I don't get sick, so this won't put a dampener on our relationship."

"Oh well, glad my total humanness isn't off-putting for you." I rolled my eyes but giggled as he brought me close placing gentle quick kisses on my neck and jaw.

Pulling back I looked over his relaxed form, curious, "You know, you're very relaxed. Usually, you'd be all tensed up at the smell of my not-so-delicious blood."

"I think, I'm getting more used to your scent, it's around our house, and in my study." He breathed in deeply, eyes closed. When they opened he added, "As long as I try not to think about it too much."

The night went on, and we filled it with silly things.

I watched as he looked around the room, taking in the photos I had, and asking questions about my family and my dad. It was nice, to talk about him in a way that wasn't sombre, and to someone who I knew actually wanted to hear about him.

Jasper then looked through some of my drawings and paintings, and then the big sneak revealed it was him who had taken my drawing. "I was right beside you when I took it from your pocket, it was pretty easy." He smirked. I was unimpressed, but softened when he said, "I kept it with me, was a way of feeling like you were there with me."

"Well, I suppose you can keep it then. It is a picture of you after all." I smiled bashfully. And explained how and why the drawing even came to be.

Jasper asked me about my friends, their names, what they do, and what they were like as people.

It was becoming very obvious how curious Jasper is about things, always asking more genuine questions, and wanting to learn.

Wanting to learn about me.

It was late now, the house bathed in darkness except for the lamp at my bedside. I yawned, cosying up to my pillow.

"I should probably go now." He whispered, hand ghosting over my hair.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" I asked, sheepishly, almost childlike.

He tilted his head for a moment, thinking. Then nodded, "I would like that."

I grinned, sitting up. He didn't protest as I wrapped him up tightly in a blanket, "This way I can hold you, and still, be warm and cosy." I said, matter-of-factly.

"Yes ma'am."

I cuddled into him as I got comfortable. Jasper reached over and turned off the lamp, basking us in darkness. I held him tighter, my head resting on his chest.

"If being around me becomes too much make sure you leave, okay?"

"I will don't worry. I'm in control."

We lay in silence, the way his hand stroked my hair, lulling me into a calm state.

"Jasper?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"I really like you."

I could just about make out his smile in the dark, "I really like you too, Clara."

I smiled into his chest, happiness radiating throughout the room, from the both of us.

Jasper wasn't there when I woke up the next morning, but the blanket he had occupied was neatly folded, and there was a small bunch of wildflowers which came from the nearby forest floor which sat on my bedside table. I was rather glad he wasn't here to be honest because my nose was very blocked, and I had a sneezing-coughing fit for a good five minutes.

I grabbed the blanket, hugging it to my chest.

It smells like him.

My mom was on her way out the door when I finally descended the stairs. After checking me over, she gave me a large glass of water, a fresh box of tissues and a box of pain meds.

After making good use of all she prescribed me, I ate a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table. Another day without rain I noted. Excellent.

The front door opened and closed, and Bella lay her back against it.

"Uh… Hi?" I said, mouth full.

"Clara," She walked over and sat opposite of me, biting her lip, "I need your help."

"You know, most people try and have a chilled-out Sunday morning, just saying."

"You sound awful."

"Thanks," I said dryly, shoving more cereal into my mouth, "What's wrong? Edward didn't do anything nefarious did he?"

"What?" She spluttered blushing, "No!"

I snorted, "So what's up?"

"Edward wants me to meet his family today."

"Oh, nice."

"No," She protested, "Not nice. Terrifying."

"Wow, hey, calm down." I laughed, "It'll be fine, Edward wouldn't bring you if he thought you'd be in danger."

"I'm not scared of them. I'm scared they won't like me."

"Hey, of course, they'll like you! You're great." I grasped her hand, smiling comfortingly."

"That's easy for you to say, they all seem to love you."

"Hate to break it to you, but I can confirm that is not true, in fact, my introduction to the family involved some breaking and entering, growling and lots of arguing. Honestly, I dunno how I survived," I mused, then added quickly, "But it won't be like that for you."

She really did look very stressed.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked.

She shook her head, "No you should rest, you're sick."

I rolled my eyes, "It's just a cold, I'll be fine. Besides, I know how intimidating it can be surrounded by a bunch of vampires. Another human on the team might help."

"If you're sure… that would be great." She smiled, then her brows furrowed, "What do I wear? They're all so fashionable!"

"I think you're asking the wrong person," I indicated to my pyjamas and unbrushed hair.

"Come help me pick something please."

I finished my cereal, amused at her desperation over choosing clothes. "Yeah alright. Give me five minutes and I'll come over."

"Thank you!"

She hurried back across to her house, and I forced myself up the stairs to brush my hair and then my teeth. Too lazy to change my clothes, I simply through a hoodie over my pyjama top, slid my feet into my slippers and sauntered over to the Swan residence.

Someone caught my eye as I closed the door, "You could have come over and said hello, it's not like you couldn't hear us." I said to Edward who waited in the living room.

"I knew you'd come over, why waste my energy walking across the road?."

"Oh yes, you have a very limited supply of energy. A well-known fact of vampires."

He gave a half-smile, hands grasped as he asked, "She will be okay won't she?" He asked.

"You're asking me? Don't you have a future seeing sister?"

"I was looking for more of a human perspective on things."

I cocked my head, "She'll be fine, she's more worried about them not liking her than like the scary vampire stuff, so…"

He shook his head smiling, "Yeah, I keep telling her that she should be worried about the whole predator thing, but she seems intent on not listening."

"That would be Bella."

Speak of the Devil, "Clara! Come on." Bella stood at the top of the stairs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I rolled my eyes, shooting Edward a look.

"You look terrible by the way," Edward called as I climbed the stairs.

"Eat shit, vampire boy."

Bella was rolling her eyes when I entered the room, "You two are such children."

"He started it."

"Uh-huh."

We spent the next ten minutes picking out something for her to wear, (I voted for a nice dark blue blouse and some jeans) and then I helped her do some natural makeup and put her hair up in a nice bun.

"Awk, aren't you such a cutie," I said, laughing as she blushed, looking herself over in the mirror.

"Are you sure this is okay?" She asked, unsure.

"Totally, you look great. Besides, I'll be there looking like this so you don't need to worry."

She chuckled shaking her head.

I ran a hand through my hair, "I'm going to go and like, wash my face. Maybe put some clothes on. Stop fidgeting!" I scolded her as she poked and prodded at her hair, "It's going to be fine, Edward will look after you. Just be yourself."

"That's what I'm worried about?" She said dryly.

"Oh shush. I'll see you soon."

Saying goodbye to Edward as I left the house, I jumped in the shower, put on some comfy clothes, and blew my nose multiple times.

Armed with a full box of tissues and some chocolate, I headed to my car, noting that Edward's had already left.

Well, this should be interesting.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-four - Calm Before The Storm

Yеs, we've been herе before

In the calm before the storm

Where we're leaving what we know

And we're setting off the shore

And we're picking up our feet

And we're moving out the door

Calm Before the Storm, United Pursuit

I blew out a breath as I closed the car door behind me. So. Tired.

I wonder if Esme would make me a coffee.

Actually… maybe I should just do it myself. Not sure I could fake it if it wasn't too nice.

As I hopped up the steps of the home I could hear voices. I entered the room, Edward and Bella standing by the door, Alice directly in front of Bella. Esme and Carlisle stood a little further away looking perfect as always.

And there he was. Jasper stood at the top of the stairs, smiling down at me when I came into view.

I winked at him and then noticed the atmosphere in the room.

"Good lord, why is everyone so awkward?"

Bella was blushing and avoiding eye contact and Edward was stiff.

Jasper gave me my answer, "Alice just told Bella she smells good."

I raised an eyebrow at Alice, who shrugged.

I turned to Bella, "Lucky you, all this lot ever tell me is how horrible I smell."

Bella looked up, "Really?"

"Yeah, I know. I was surprised too."

I smiled widely at her and felt the tension quickly deflate.

"Clara." Esme admonished smiling. "You'll make Bella think badly of us."

"I don't think that's possible," Bella laughed awkwardly, but earnest.

Esme smiled sweetly, "you're too kind, Bella," and then looked at me again, "How are you feeling Clara?"

I clutched my tissue box to my chest and scowled, "Like I'm going to use your kitchen to make a huge pot of coffee. Anything to keep me awake today. "

Edward and Carlisle were having some sort of secret conversation, and Bella began to look around the room, eyeing up the piano.

I looked up at Jasper and mouthed to him 'you good?" He nodded firmly.

"Do you play?" Esme asked Bella, following her gaze.

"Not at all," Bella shook her head, "But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

Esme laughed. "No. Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

Bella gave Edward a very irritated look

"No," she answered Esme. "I should have known, I guess. Edward can do everything," Bella clarified. "Right?"

The others were more subtle with their amusement, but Jasper had no issue laughing out loud.

Esme gave Edward a disapproving-mother look. "I hope you haven't been showing off—it's rude."

"Just a bit," he admitted, laughing, too.

"A bit?" I snorted. Edward shot me a look. "Besides, there are definitely far more talented vampires, Bella." I stuck my tongue out at Edward.

Edward quirked an eyebrow, "we don't need to hear about the talents of certain vampires Clara, thanks."

The suggestive tone in his voice made me blush, Alice giggle, Jasper smirk and Carlisle hide a smile.

"Edward," Esme said in yet another disapproving tone.

"She started it!" he protested.

I smiled smugly, but he had succeeded in shutting me up. Bella simply looked around confused. Clearly, she had not been informed that there was another human-vampire relationship in this household

"He's been too modest, actually," Bella disagreed.

"Well, play for her," Esme encouraged Edward.

"You just said showing off was rude." Edward disagreed.

Esme was holding back her own laughter now. "There are exceptions to every rule."

I giggled, and raised an eyebrow at Edward, before excusing myself and heading to the kitchen.

I got to work making a pot of coffee, turning multiple times to sneeze.

"Ugh."

"Try not to fall over this time."

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Jasper, "But if I do then you'll be there to catch me."

"I am pretty fast," He said approaching and then leaning up against the counter in front of me. He pushed a strand of hair from my face.

"What's wrong? Got tired of the welcome party?" I asked amused.

"Bella seems nice, but I would rather come and enjoy the view here." He smirked.

"Oh yes, I am at peak sexiness currently." I rolled my eyes but smiled.

Jasper handed me a mug and I poured my nice hot coffee, sighing in contentment as I took the first sip.

I heard the sounds of the piano begin and looked toward the door. I turned to Jasper who answered my unsaid question.

"Such a show-off." I shook my head.

It did sound beautiful.

Not a minute later and I had another guest.

"Clara!" Alice wrapped her arms around me from behind, "I've missed you."

I clasped one of her arms with my hand and turned to look at her, "I talk to you on the phone every day."

She pouted, "Yeah but I don't get to see your face."

Esme and Carlisle entered the kitchen, "Did you get your coffee?" Esme asked.

"Of course." I lifted my mug, pleased.

Carlisle looked between Jasper and me, then smiled warmly, "We're very happy for the both of you."

My eyes widened and I coughed into my mug. Oh, I really didn't like being the centre of attention.

Alice smirked, "You've gone all quiet now."

"Oh shut up."

She giggled at my awkwardness. Ignoring her I looked up at Carlisle "Thank you."

Both the parental figures beamed at us, their happiness radiating throughout the room. I turned my head to Jasper, who was watching me softly.

I smiled and turned back to the others. "So how come you're all in here?"

"We wanted to give them some privacy," Esme answered.

"And there was something we wanted to mention to you," Carlisle added carefully, very aware of how both Alice and Jasper tensed slightly, though gave away no sign of the cause.

I looked around the room, "Is something wrong?"

"No," The family leader continued, "Not really. We just wanted to make you aware that there may be… visitors… our kind, in the area soon. They will be curious about us."

I tilted my head, "Are these the ones you mentioned before?" I asked Jasper, referring to the night of our first kiss.

He gave a single nod.

"I'm assuming they're not the friendly kind of vampire then. At least not for us humans."

"No." Esme said solemnly, "But we will make sure you're safe. You and Bella."

I pushed the tension building in my body away and forced a smile, "I'm sure it'll be fine." I clasped my mug tight to my chest.

Then a wave of calm came over me, and I smiled gratefully at Jasper.

"Thank you for letting me know," I said to Carlisle.

"My pleasure."

Soon we dissipated, Esme and Carlisle heading up the stairs, and Jasper, Alice and me hanging out in the living room.

"Where's Rose and Emmett?" I asked.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Roselie doesn't want to meet Bella yet, Emmetts trying to calm her down."

I hummed. Perhaps it was better she stayed away until she was ready. She could be scary when she wanted to.

Alice huffed, arms crossed.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, laughing.

"She wants to talk to Bella," Jasper answered, not looking away from the TV as he flicked through the channels.

"It's not fair, I've had to wait for ages to even say hello to her." Then she sat up, her arms uncrossing, eyes vacant.

"Alice?" I shared a look with Jasper, and we waited for a moment as she looked into the future.

Then she smiled wide and bright.

"There's going to be a thunderstorm tonight!" she said to Jasper, who broke out into a smile at the news, "A huge one!"

"Is that a metaphor?" I asked, confused.

"No silly", Alice said, she waved her hand dismissively, "Jasper you tell her, I'm going to ask the others. Oh, Emmett is going to be so excited."

She disappeared up the stairs, and I blinked after her in confusion.

Amused by the look on my face, Jasper offered me his hand and helped me up.

We followed Alice's steps, just at a slightly slower pace as Jasper began to explain,"thunderstorms are the only time we can play baseball together. They don't happen all the time, but when they do, it's great."

"Wow, fast vampire baseball? Well, that's something I wasn't expecting to find out about you. Colour me intrigued."

"There are endless things to discover about me."

"At least I'll never get bored then."

We arrived at Edward's bedroom, the door opened and Alice was already inside with the two love birds.

Jasper, who had clearly been listening to the conversation piped up "Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett will want to play ball. Are you game?"

Bella shot me a questioning look, to which I just shrugged in reply. For once I didn't know much more than she did.

"Of course, you should bring Bella," Alice said, seeming to answer an unasked question.

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked Bella.

She blinked, "Sure…" she answered. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball," Edwards explained. "You'll see why."

"Ah, more vague explanations." I rolled my eyes.

Edward ignored me, waiting for Bella to respond.

Of course, Bella being Bella had a far more human concern, "Will I need an umbrella?"

I shook my head as Alice and Jasper laughed.

I raised a shoulder, "I mean… not a bad question."

"Will she?" Jasper asked Alice.

She paused, looking off into the distance, "No. The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then," Jasper said.

"So when are we doing this?" I asked, "Because I'm very hungry."

Jasper looked at me, brows furrowed in slight worry, "Is that a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, you're sick. It might not be a good idea for you to be out all night if it's going to be cold and wet."

I scowled, "I'm not that sick! It's just-"

"Just a cold." A chorus of voices finished my sentence, as they all seemed to roll their eyes at me.

I simply scowled further in response, huffing.

Jasper wrapped an arm around me pulling me close. I desperately tried not to meet Bella's eyes, feeling them burn into my head looking for answers.

I glanced up at Edward, who clearly thought my panicked thoughts were hilarious because he was desperately trying to suppress his laughter.

"Alice? Will it be okay if she goes?" Jasper asked.

Another moment, "Hmm… Oh yeah, she'll be okay, we'll just wrap her up warm."

"I'm not a child," I mumbled, but was pleased that I got to join the clan in their American pastime.

"Come on," Alice skipped to the door past us, "let's go see if Carlisle will come."

"As if you don't know," Jasper teased, following her.

"See you guys later," I said, swiftly leaving the room.

"Yeah," Bella said before the door closed, "Talk to you later!"

I cringed at the promise of an interrogation that was sure to come later on.

Once everyone except Rosalie was confirmed to be playing baseball later (with two human spectators), I joined Esme in the kitchen, showing her how to make a cheese toastie, letting her practice after the first one by making me a few more.

I soon learned that Emmett had finally appeared. Excited to see him, I hurried, cheese toastie hanging from my mouth to greet him.

"Don't get too excited," Jasper growled, shoving Emmett out of the way and pulling me into his arms.

I pouted, while Emmett's booming laughter filled the living room.

"God, you and Edward are such marshmallows around these human girls, I just don't get it." He lifted a finger, "Actually, Edward is less surprising, he's always been the moody pretty boy… but you. Man, what's happening to this family."

Jasper growled, and I patted his chest comfortingly, smiling sweetly to Emmett, "It's expanding. You love it really Emmett, keeps things exciting."

He shook his head laughing but didn't disagree.

Alice and Jasper took off hunting (don't want to think about it), and so I got comfortable beside Emmett on the sofa, watching several baseball matches at once, Esme bringing me in another plate of cheese toasties.

"Emmett I don't actually understand what you're getting out of this."

"I'm getting ready for tonight!"

"There are too many things happening at once! You can't even see what's going on!"

"Of course, I can."

I looked at him in disbelief.

Feeling my eyes on him, Emmett turned his head to me, she gave me a cheeky grin and said, "Just another reminder of how very human you are."

"Achoo!" I pulled a tissue from the box beside me.

"One of many," Emmett added looking disgusted.

"Keep looking at me like that, and I'll sneeze all over you, you big tree trunk."

That is how Edward found us. He gestured to the TV screens, "Nothing you'll find there will help you win tonight."

A pause, then Edward nodded and Emmett grinned.

I rolled my eyes, "Hello, remember me? I'm still here."

"How unfortunate," Edward said.

"Rose is going to play tonight," Emmett told me pleased.

I smiled at his genuine happiness, "That's great."

"What do you want?" Emmett asked Edward.

"Your best behaviour around Bella?"

"Good luck with that," I said dryly.

"Just don't scare her on purpose," Edward added.

Emmett shrugged in agreement.

"How come I didn't get this considerate treatment?" I said, offended.

"Bella didn't break into our house."

"God, you lot will never let that go, will you? It was one time!" I huffed, embarrassed to be reminded of the incident.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"Hunting. Jasper wanted to be ready for tonight."

Edward hummed. I jumped when he called "Sorry Esme!"

"God this whole not knowing what you're all talking about half the time is really quite infuriating."

Edward dashed away instead of answering and I decided that now would be a good idea to have a nap. I leaned my back against Emmett's arm and pulled up my hood, sinking down for a nice sleep.

I had dreams filled with soft pillows and blankets, and endless cheese toasties and my bliss were abruptly ended when a cold hand placed itself on the back of my head and face-first into the sofa.

"Oof," I mumbled into the pillows that broke my fall.

Emmett's booming laugh filled the room, and I turned my head to see who my attacker was.

"Hi Rosalie, fancy seeing you here."

She raised an eyebrow at me, and I gave her a toothy smile in an attempt to lift her dry expression.

She rolled her eyes.

"Come on then."

She turned on her heel and began walking away from us and up the stairs.

"Where?"

When I got no response, I turned to Emmett questioningly, but he was still watching the TV screen.

"You better hurry." He said, laughing at the concern in my eyes.

Cautiously, I followed Rose up the stairs, unsure of where she had actually gone, I peeked into her and Emmett's bedroom to see her standing over some clothes on her bed.

She obviously knew I was there but didn't acknowledge me.

I stood awkwardly in the hallway.

Something was… weird.

She wasn't being icy, wasn't annoyed. If anything, she seemed rather sad.

I rocked on my heels, "I like your outfit." I said, appreciating the very baseball-ready choice in clothing.

She glanced over at me then… "...thanks. Here, put these on."

I looked at the clothes she offered me with a questioning gaze but took them anyway.

In response to my confusion, she added, "Esme said you needed something warmer to wear before tonight."

"Oh right. Well, thanks then." I smiled, though it wasn't returned, and then moved further into the room.

Rosalie closed the door behind me, "I'm not looking. You can just change in here. I'll find you a coat"

I looked over my shoulder at her back which faced me. She was very quiet.

I turned back around and began to change, going back and forth in my mind about whether or not to talk to her.

As usual, the more risky side of me won. I suppose not actually having to look at her helped.

"Hey, are you like… okay?"

A pause, then, "Why?"

"I guess you just seem a little, uh… quiet or something. You haven't even made a comment about how gross I look today."

"Why do you care?"

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for making sure everyone's happy." I pulled the jumper over my head, "Is it because of Bella?"

She scoffed, "Is that what Edward and Alice said."

"They didn't have to. I noticed you weren't about today when she got here."

"There's only so much human I can stomach in my own house. I'm not a fan of silly girls who make stupid decisions."

I turned to her, hugging myself. She finally looked at me, a fierce look in her eye, but I wasn't sure if it was anger.

"I know right? Dating Edward? Out of all the supernatural beings in Forks, he wouldn't be at the top of my list to date."

The sarcasm got a slight lift in her mouth, then she shook her head.

I continued, "You know, you're really not this hostile to me, not anymore. So I don't think this is just to do with Bella being human."

"It has everything to do with that. It's… different with you. Granted, if I had my way my brothers would never have gotten involved in human girls in the first place. I can at least tell that this life, with my brother, is not all you have and all you want. Nothing is… permanent, time won't pause for you. Right?"

I furrowed my brows, "I very much enjoy being a human, if anything, seeing how my dad died, I appreciate it a lot more. I have no intentions of changing that."

"Tolerable," She said, looking down at the coats on her bed, fingers running over them in thought, "When I see that girl when I think of her, all I can see is a waste of a life. She has everything in front of her, every opportunity, every birthday, every bad decision, every lover… the chance to make a family. And I just know she will want to throw that all away, to become like us for Edward. I can't bear to watch it happen right in front of me."

I contemplated her words. I suppose I never really thought about Bella's own thoughts on the topic, the thoughts of her future with Edward, nor what Edward even wanted himself… would he want to turn her? She's only what? Seventeen? Who can make such a permanent decision at such a young age? It was… unsettling.

Thinking on it, Jasper and I never discussed the topic either, our relationship being undetermined past knowing we cared for each other very much. I'll need to talk to him later about it. Does he expect me to give up my humanity to be with him?

I couldn't.

Rosalie continued when I gave her no answer, "I envy her," She whispered it, vulnerable almost broken. "I was only eighteen when Carlisle turned me, not that I had the choice. I had a perfect life. I was beautiful, wealthy, and ready to start a family. I wanted nothing more than to have a baby of my own." She smiled ruefully at the thought, "I was engaged to Royce King, he was the son of the man who owned the bank my father worked at. He had money and was handsome, my mother was very pleased. It was all physical attraction, of course, we were never actually in love, but I was young and naive. I realised we were in a loveless relationship, and I was thinking of ending things. I never got to."

She looked at me now, gold eyes unblinking, "I was walking back from a friend's house one night, and I came across Royce and his friends. Drunk of course. They assaulted me, beat me and left me in the street to die."

A chill went down my spine, the unemotional way she stated it concerning me. What a long time to live with such a thing. To never be released from it.

"That's when Carlisle found me, attracted by all the blood. I went from suffering one pain to another, transforming into this. Never-ending, never moving in time. Everything I ever wanted was snuffed out in a single night of which I never had any choice in, before or after." She smirked then, and the genuineness of it unsettled me, "I got my revenge on them, one by one. I suppose I have that to be grateful for." She looked serious again, leaning forward to me with an almost desperation, "Do you understand now? I know everything I've lost, I've lived it. This girl doesn't have a clue, she thinks about it that way, and won't think about what she might want in another ten years. There is no going back from this."

Her stare was so intense I didn't know what to say, so I did the next best thing.

She seemed slightly taken aback when I walked toward her and froze up when I wrapped my arms around her.

"What are you doing." She spluttered.

"Hugging you."

"Why?"

"That's a thing we humans do when we want to comfort someone."

"I don't need comforting."

"Okay, well I'm going to keep hugging you anyways, okay?" A pause, and then I added quietly, "Thank you for telling me."

She didn't say anything, nor did she return the gesture, but she let me continue and that was a good enough sign to me that she wasn't about to throw me across the room for daring to touch her.

"If you get snot in my hair, I will kill you," she mumbled.

I laughed then, pulling back smiling.

She cracked a tiny one in return.

I gave her a serious look, "I never thought about any of that, honestly no one else had even mentioned the possibilities… I'll talk to Bella soon, to see if she has even considered that an option. Even just for my own peace of mind." I shook my head, the thoughts of turning disturbing me. The thoughts of Bella, unnatural, bloodthirsty… felt wrong. Perhaps that's because I know her now, human, warm and alive. Perhaps it's because I don't want to think about myself like that. On a lighter note, I smiled at her again, adding, "All those things, I want them too."

She looked over my face, trying to show how pleased the comment made her, and then said "Here." Rosalie shoved a coat into my arms, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Back to normal then.

I've never been happier to see it.

"Alice and Jasper are back. We'll be going to the clearing in a couple of minutes. And don't worry," She added rolling her eyes, "I will try and tolerate… Bella. Though I promise I won't like it."

She placed a baseball hat on my head.

I grinned, "Let's play ball."

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Five - Supermassive Black Hole

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the super massive (you set my soul alight)

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the super massive (you set my soul)

Super massive black hole, Muse

Any other day I probably would have enjoyed the high adrenaline fast running that was required to get to the Baseball clearing, but not today. My stomach had swirled while I clung to Jasper's back.

I now sat on the ground beside Rosalie, Emmett and Esme, wrapped up warm, a blanket firmly placed over my shoulders as I clung it to my body. Jasper kept glancing in my direction, checking if I was alright. I responded with me thumbs up and a nauseous smile, clutching the warm flask Esme had given me.

I knew I shouldn't have had all of those cheese toasties.

We were in a huge open field, somewhere the Cullen's must-have frequented as they moved around it with ease. Carlisle was setting up the pitch, his fluid movements interesting to watch, while Alice and Jasper practised some moves, which I was almost certain, did not take place in a traditional game of baseball. I oohed and ahhed at the show, Jasper clearly showing off, enjoying my clapping as he did some tricks with a baseball bat.

I was excited, and I had never cared this much about sports. The fun thing about vampires is it's like discovering everything you know again but in a much more extreme setting.

The anticipation was building and was thankful when I saw Edward and Bella break the forest line and into the clearing.

I raised a hand and shook it wildly at my fellow human. "Hey!"

Rosalie spotted the couple walking in our direction, turned and walked away without a word.

Esme watched her go disapprovingly, but Emmett and Edward looked more relaxed, probably just happy she actually showed up. Perhaps it was better she didn't say anything.

It was only then that I realised this was Emmett's first proper introduction to Bella. I looked up at him, watching for what he might do or say. Edward looked cautious, but Emmett simply grinned, eying Bella with interest.

Jasper caught my attention, indicating to me to join him. As the others began to talk, I rose from the ground and approached him.

"Hi," I said smiling.

"Hi." He was rolling the bat in his hand, "You feeling any better?"

I nodded, "Yeah, think I just had too much cheese before we left the house."

He blew out a laugh, "I told you to stop eating them."

"But they were just so good," I whined. "How are you feeling?" I asked, "Excited?"

"Oh yeah. Prepare yourself to be amazed."

"Even more talents for me to witness? You'll have me swooning soon enough Mr Whitlock."

He grinned and pulled me to his side, one arm around me, the other doing little tricks with the bat which had me giggling.

"I like your hat," I said, admiring the way the baseball cap pushed his blonde curls to frame his face.

He grabbed the front of my own hat, pushing it down, "We're matching."

Alice whizzed past us, pausing for a moment to give me a teasing look eyebrows raised.

"It's time." She announced. And on cue, the sound of loud thunder crack filled the field causing me to jump.

The others began racing toward Carlilse, not wasting any time. "Duty calls," Jasper said, reluctantly releasing me.

I started moving backwards grinning, "Go get 'em, tiger." This was quickly followed by a sneeze.

He grinned and shook his head, then dashed off to the rest of the family minus Esme who was by Bella's side, walking at a much slower pace across the field. I blew my nose as I made my way over to them.

"What are we talking about?" I asked matching their strides.

"How much they all love to cheat," Esme said.

"That is the least surprising thing I've heard about this family." I laughed.

Bella joined me, a shy smile on her face.

Esme continued, "You should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves."

"You sound like my mom," Bella laughed.

Esme joined her and I smiled in amusement.

Esme nodded her head, "Well I do think of them as my children in most ways. I never could get over my mothering instincts - Did Edward tell you I had lost a child?"

I stumbled in step, the ease with which she announced such a thing chilled me.

"No," Bella mumbled, clearly stunned herself.

"I didn't know that," I whispered.

"Yes," Esme continued, "My first and only baby. He died just a few days after he was born, the poor tiny thing," She sighed, It broke my heart - that's why I jumped off the cliff you know."

She had said it all so matter of factly, and I felt cold.

"Edward just said you fell." Bella stuttered.

Esme, turned to me, concerned, "Clara?"

It was only then that I realised I had stopped walking.

Jasper, Rose and Esme. Such sad stories that follow them, haunt them. How much suffering must someone go through without breaking completely?

And what of the others? Are they all equally as tragic and heartbreaking? It was eye-opening, these beings that seem so invincible, have cracks in their perfection if you look hard enough.

Esme stood in front of me, smiling warmly, almost like she was more sorry for making me sad rather than being affected by what she had told us. She grabbed my hand and began walking again, linking arms in an attempt to comfort me.

I linked mine back, tightening my grip. I needed her to know I'm here.

She continued talking with Bella, "Edward was my first of my new sons. I've always thought of him that way, even though he's older than I, in one way at least." She smiled at Bella then turned to me, "Jasper too." Happiness radiated from her, "That's why I'm glad my sons found you both."

"Both?" Bella raised an eyebrow at me, shyness disappearing.

I looked around the field, "Hmm, great weather we're having."

"Clara!" Esme admonished, "You didn't tell Bella!"

I blushed, embarrassed, feeling like a teenager again, "I forgot…" I mumbled.

"Uh-huh…" Bella rolled her eyes, "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Oh, they're just lovely Bella. I've never seen Jasper so happy and at ease." I sneezed into my tissue and hid behind it trying to fend off the heat on my cheeks, "Of course, it's the same for you and Edward," She smiled at the younger girl.

"You don't mind then?" Bella asked, "That I'm… all wrong for him?"

"No" Esme answered, thought clear on her face, "You're what he want's, it'll work out somehow." She said it casually, but the worry on her face told a different story. Clearly Rose wasn't the only one unsure of how this human/vampire relationship can work out in the long run.

We came to a stop then, the field clear ahead of us, each member of the two teams had taken position. Carlisle, Edward and Alice versus Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper.

I smirked. This should be interesting.

Esme got into the umpire's position and Alice stepped up to the pitcher's mound. Emmett held the bat tightly, moving energetically in place, grinning.

"All right," Esme said, "Batter up."

"Oh, this is gonna be so cool," I murmured, crossing my arms.

In a flash, Alice hurled out the first pitch of the game, the ball flying so fast through the air that any impact with me and I'd be dead.

Emmett took a large swing, his hulking form looking monstrous. I blinked and Jasper had the ball in his hand, throwing it like a bullet through the air and back to Alice who was grinning.

"Holy shit." I laughed in surprise, the speed and power at which they moved was at a different level.

"Was that a strike?" Bella asked Esme.

"If they don't hit it, it's a strike." She responded.

I felt myself hopping foot to foot in excitement as Alice pitched the ball again.

And this time, Emmett made contact. Before he had even finished hitting the ball the others had begun to move, all colourful blurs which seemed to flow with the wind.

Edward must have caught the ball. Esme called Emmett out before Edward even appeared back in the clearing.

Esme grinned at us, "Emmett hits the hardest, but Edward's the fastest."

I grinned back. By the time I finished sneezing, Emmett had taken Jasper's place behind the home plate, and Jasper took the bat.

"Yay!" I clapped my tissue-filled hands together, "Go on cowboy!"

Jasper turned to me grinning, tossing the bat as Esme and Bella laughed at me.

"Hey!" Alice called from across the field, "Remember where your loyalties are!" but I could tell from the smile on her face, that she too had been laughing.

Alice pitched once more, and Jasper hit it, the ball soaring through the air toward Carlisle. It was tight, Jasper reached the base just before Carlisle could catch him. The moment they collided I thought there had been another round of thunder, but I soon realised that it was the sound of them.

Vampires are fucking weird, man.

"Woo!" I jumped up and down clapping.

Rose came up to bat next. She was stiff, seeming to purposefully avoid Bella.

I twisted my lips, but when she glanced my way I gave her two thumbs up.

The first pitch from Alice she missed, bringing on a frown. She seemed to dig down, tightening her grip, and concentrating.

The second one she hit. The next thing I know there's a whole lot of running and Alice doing a fancy spinny slid thing to which I was oohing and aahing once again. Jasper was out, but Rose was still in the game.

The next hit from Emmett sent Rosalie home, and I was shocked to hear the clapping that came from Bella, a huge smile on her face.

I softened, turned back toward the players and joined her in her clapping. Gosh was it just me or was it really cold?

The game continued, and I continued to flip-flop sides, cheering everyone on when they did something particularly impressive. Or impressive by human standards. I really was loving this.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

As the teams were switching, Jasper flew over to me quickly. I smiled up at him happily but he looked quite concerned.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked, his cold hands on my face causing a chill to run through me. He retracted them quickly.

I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my nose with a tissue, "I'm just a bit cold." I said.

"You really don't sound good."

"He's right," Esme said, brows furrowed, "You sound worse than you did earlier."

I did feel a lot more tired than I did, and my throat was scratchy, not helped by the whooping I had been doing.

"Maybe I should take you home."

"What? No!" I protested, "We've only been here for a while."

"Well, you're not going to see very much if you pass out," Jasper said irritably with worry.

I scowled, but couldn't argue, feeling exhaustion rack over my body.

"The storm will go on for a couple of hours! Alice said brightly, appearing at my side, "Take her to the jeep to lie down for a bit, a nap will help her feel better. Then she can come back and watch us."

Jasper looked unsure, but I gave him a hopeful look, batting my lashes.

"A quick nap and I'll be good as new."

"Whatever you're going to do, hurry up about it," Rose said irritated by the delay.

"Please," I begged Jasper, who was unable to hold back a smile. "I really don't want to miss the whole night."

"Such a human."

"Shut up Emmett," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Fine." Jasper conceded, "Only because it's close by."

"If anything is wrong give you all a holler, I'm such you'll hear me."

"Would be hard not to," Edward muttered.

"I heard that," I shot him a look, then glanced at Bella, "Try not to have too much fun without me, I'll be back soon to give you your dose of human company."

She laughed, shaking her head.

Esme handed me my blanket and my flask of tea which was still warm.

As carefully but as quickly as possible, Jasper took me into his arms, bridal style and ran across the clearing and into the trees.

"You okay?" He said as we moved between the branches.

My eyes were shut tight, my head hid in his chest to hide from the biting wind. "Yep!" I called back.

It was a very short journey, much nicer than the first one, and Jasper set me down on the ground gently.

The jeep sat at a dead end, a small open space surrounded by trees that had clearly been used by the family multiple times for such activities.

Jasper opened the jeep door and helped me up into the tall vehicle.

"There's no one around for miles," He said, "And no one ever comes up here, it should be safe." He paused, staring at me hard, "But if anything-"

I placed a hand over his mouth smiling reassuringly, "I'll be fine Jaz, You're only a few minutes away. I really don't want to miss the rest of the night, I'm having a great time," I moved my hand from his mouth to his cheek and caressed it softly, "And so are you."

It was true. I had seen Jasper smile and laugh, but I had never seen the natural buzz that radiated off him as he got to truly be in his element. I didn't want him to miss a second of it.

"Now off you go." I nodded, "Go and win cowboy," I grinned.

He grinned in return, kissing my hand, then using it to pull me forward and kiss me fiercely.

He paused before closing the door, "Anything happens-"

"You'll be the first one I call out for. Promise."

I wonder if it was the calm confidence I felt that eased him, but he nodded firmly, closed the door, and then with one last look at me, he was gone.

Annnnnd Breathe.

The thing about being around supernatural beings all the time is that it takes a lot of energy out of you. Keeping up with their fast pace when it came to everyday things is rather taxing on this human.

I let my head fall back against the seat and took a deep breath. My face burned from the cold, my nose felt more clogged up than ever, and there was definitely a headache coming on.

The seats were comfy, and I kicked off my shoes, crossing my legs. I Hope Emmett doesn't kill me for having my feet on the seats.

Well, he can deal with it.

I sighed as the blanket wrapped around me, like a warm hug. The tea was the perfect temperature, and as I drank deeply, it seemed to flood my body with heat.

I could almost feel my nose again.

After a few more gulps, I put the flask on the floor, and sighed, curling up on the seat. The quiet isolation of the forest outside was actually relaxing and I was glad for it, the occasional thunderclaps adding to the atmosphere.

My eyes drooped and I hoped a short time in the jeep would revive me, hoping the heat would reignite my energy, ready to watch another game of ball. Maybe they'll let me play, but I'll make them run around like humans.

I snickered at the thought.

Note to self - Always bring a car with you on an outing with the vampires. Never know when you'll need an impromptu nap.

Soon I drifted off into a peaceful doze.

My brows furrowed. The car shook slightly.

Am I dreaming? I was still half asleep, unsure of my surroundings.

There it is again.

It wasn't anything strong, more like a small push from the back of the jeep, testing to see if I would stir.

I opened my eyes, turning in the direction of the movement. I scowled.

I bet it was Emmett, trying to annoy me.

Another shake, this time stronger and caused me to slide across the seat.

"Very funny Emmett-" I shot up, looking out the rear window expecting to see his hulking figure and wicked grin staring back at me.

Instead, I met cold red eyes.

There were three figures staring in at me. To the left stood a red-head, wild-looking and grinning in amusement, she waved at me with her fingers as though I was a child. To the right, an amused and intrigued man, who was the best dressed of the strangers.

And last, in the middle, the one who had been shaking me awake. Cold and intense, he looked dirty and smiled in a way that screamed danger.

I could see him mouth a 'hi' before my world tipped upside down.

The car lifted from the ground and I moved along with it, crashing against the inside, crying out in pain and fear. I hit the roof hard, half in the back, half in the front, and the front window smashed on impact, the glass scattering in all directions.

I could feel the burn of cuts from the glass on my arms, a sob wracking through me and my head throbbing in pain and confusion.

I screamed out as one of the back doors was ripped off, I scurried away, tears running down my cheeks. Then red hair appeared on the other side, removing that door too.

I shuffled away from the back toward the front, glass digging into my body as I crawled.

Then he appeared. The one with the terrifying smile. He crouched down looking through the broken glass, his nose flaring as he took in my smell.

Every drop of blood from my body seemed to burn, making me so aware that each one brought me closer to death.

And that's what I was staring at. Death.

"Now what is a silly little human doing out here all by itself."

"It's like someone placed a little snack right here for us." The redhead grinned, "Don't you think, James?"

"Seems it's our lucky day." The monster in front of me grinned, showing me his teeth.

"It does seem strange," The other man mused, and I could feel him shift slightly, but I was too scared to look away from this James.

"She doesn't exactly smell very appetising, but who are we to turn down free food."

James cocked his head at me, "It's like a scared little rabbit. What's wrong?" He mocked, "Got nothing to say?"

My mouth trembled as I tried to hold in another sob, "mom…" I murmured, knowing not even he could hear me now. I wanted to scream but it seemed stuck in my throat.

Oh god, I don't want to die. Not here, not now.

James reached through the window, gripping my ankle so hard that I squealed in pain, and he dragged me with no thought through the broken window, a large shard slicing along my ribs.

He threw me across the forest floor, twigs and stones flying around the area, getting tangled in my hair.

I groaned, lightheaded. The blood flowed freely, and I pressed a hand to my side, trying to stop it, but it simply dripped through my fingers, down onto the dirt below.

I grunted, pushing myself up onto my knees. I took a deep breath and looked up, staring up at the three predators who stared down at me hungrily, their eyes watching my wounds and the red that was soaking into my clothes.

"How boring. Humans are so predictable," James said, crouching low as though ready to pounce on me.

I knew I was still crying, and there was no way out of this for me.

But I'd be damned if I died whimpering like a hurt animal, murdered by beings I didn't even know. It made me furious.

Taking what energy I had, I spat at their feet, glaring, chest heaving.

James grinned. All I had done was amuse him.

He moved forward then, teeth ready to sink into my throat.

I closed my eyes waiting for impact.

Then there was that thunderous sound of two vampires colliding and my eyes flew open.

James was no longer there, and the other two looked shocked.

I heard an array of snarls, two beasts growling, fighting. The crack of tree trunks snapping filled the air, and I flinched at a tree falling to the ground.

I didn't have time to think about any of it. I scrambled up, staggering, struggling to keep myself upright. I continued to press my hand firmly to my side. The adrenaline was kicking in and my fight or flight instincts were taking over.

I glanced behind me to see the other two intruders who seemed to have disappeared too, perhaps to join the fight.

I jumped back against a tree as a body landed in front of the car, flipping up, feet digging into the ground.

I shuffled and it seemed to have got his attention.

Jasper's eyes snapped to me, and I almost cowered at the intense fire within them.

Then I actually did cower.

He was watching the blood gush from my wound, and his eyes were becoming more animalistic by the second, nostrils flaring.

I tensed up ready to flee. I may love him, but I know the look of a predator when I see one, and I wasn't about to let him attack. For both our sakes.

I love him?

"Jasper no!" Emmett roared clearing the tree line and crashing into Jasper taking him to the ground struggling.

I was sobbing again.

Rosalie appeared then, flying into the redhead, the two of them in a stand-off.

I barely had time to react when James flew over the wrecked Jeep, a hand reached out for my throat. His opponent was indisposed and nothing stopped him from finishing it all now.

Just before he could finish his hold on me an arm grabbed my waist and pulled me backwards, but not before James' nails made contact with my face, leaving a cut in its wake.

And then everything slowed down. I was falling backwards but I could see everything around me.

The scene in front of me was chaotic, everyone moving so slowly you would think they were statues.

Emmett was still on the ground with Jasper, though he was watching Rosalie with frustration and anger.

Carlisle was in the midst of barrelling into James, trying to put him at a distance from the rest of us.

I couldn't see Esme, Alice, Edward or Bella. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I wasn't sure of very much right now.

Then someone hit the fast-forward button, and everything moved so quickly, that it was all a blur again. My head burned so hard I felt as though it might burst from the inside. I fell backwards, hitting the ground hard, and the air was knocked out of me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, noises becoming more muted and confused. Growls and scuffling rang around the place. It was all too much.

"Enough!"

"I don't understand."

"Victoria."

"James let's go!"

"Emmett, watch Jasper!"

"Rosalie get back here! Alice stop her!"

"They're getting away!"

"Let them go Rosalie."

"Oh God Carlise, there's so much blood… I can't."

"Alice!"

"She's going to die, someone do something!"

"You're okay Jasper."

I tried to open my eyes, but everything was so muddled in my head.

"'S too much…" I mumbled, reaching out, for what, I wasn't sure, but a cold hand took mine and I squeezed it.

"Clara, can you hear me?" It was Carlisle.

I squinted at him, seeing his kind eyes filled with worry.

I tried to smile, "Yes. I don't feel so good though. Where is Jasper? Is he okay?"

He gave me a pained smile. He seemed to check me over quickly, shouting some instructions to the others, but I didn't have the energy to listen.

Soon I felt myself be picked up in cold, firm arms, and the night air hit my face as we began to move through the trees.

I felt like I was floating on air. Then I closed my eyes and drifted off.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Six - Wicked Game

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

Wicked Game, Chris Isaak

Jasper

He kissed her fiercely, wanting it to last, wishing they could spend every moment in this bubble of bliss.

But alas, the game must continue.

Clara smiled at him and wished him luck, ease on her face as he turned to look back at her once more before taking off into the trees.

Without the worry of ensuring she was comfortable, Jasper could flit back and forth throughout the trees, holding nothing back.

He could hear her heartbeat growing more distant, and part of his instincts screamed to go back, that it was wrong to leave her alone like that in the forest. Especially when there were others about.

His fists clenched.

They wouldn't be in the area until tomorrow, these strangers who kill humans, not only to survive but because it's fun.

Jasper didn't kill for fun. There wasn't much fun to be had when you could feel every ounce of fear and pain that flowed through the creature you held, knowing you were the cause of it, as well as the end.

But he didn't do that anymore.

There were times when he found it particularly difficult, and he feared the bloodlust ran too profoundly within him, that Maria had ingrained it into his soul from the moment his second life had begun that there was no way to escape it. Eventually, his true nature would catch up with him, and he would have to face the disappointment of his family. Of Alice.

No more though. Jasper found the strength to resist his nature was growing. He had a reason to now.

One with cheeks flushed with life, a heartbeat that beckoned to him, every waking moment. Someone who wanted to know him as a person and not just what he had become.

Clara seemed to fit perfectly into their little world. Surely it wasn't just a coincidence that they met not once, but twice in her lifetime.

She was a strange human, so awkward, and overthinking, saying strange things he wasn't always able to follow, but sounds charming nonetheless.

Yet displays a surprising amount of courage, even when every bone in her body screams for her to run. It was admirable, at times rash and stupid, but admirable.

It thrilled him to see her cheer him on, her human eyes desperate to try and keep track of everything happening on the field.

He was scared to admit how strong his feelings were for her and even more scared when he felt how strong hers were for him.

Jasper arrived back at the field, sparing not a moment returning to his position with his team.

"Back already are you?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows. Jasper grinned.

"Gross," Rose said disgusted, "Try not to be too distracted okay? I want to win."

She flickered her hair over her shoulder, preparing for the game to start up again.

They played a while longer, the air buzzing with energy which Jasper bounced around the air. So much happiness in the one place.

It was perfect. How could this feeling ever end?

"Oh!" Alice recoiled just as thunder clapped around them.

They all looked in her direction, Alice's eyes vacant, seeing something far off, the distress growing on her face.

They all rushed toward her, "Alice?" Jasper asked, hands coming up to grasp her arms. "What is it?"

Edward shifted, taking in everything Alice was seeing. He broke away, taking Bella's hand.

"Edward?" Esme furrowed her brows, confused, worried.

"We have to get out of here. Now." He was buzzing with fear, and his anxious eyes were fiercely fixed on Bella.

"Why?" Emmett asked baffled by the sudden change.

"Alice?" Edward demanded an answer to an unspoken question.

Alice finally snapped back to the present, raised an arm and pointed to the right. "That way."

And then they moved, Edward whisked up Bella and sped away, and Alice began running in the opposite direction toward the Jeep.

"Alice!" Jasper demanded as the others quickly followed after her. He matched her strides, the fear on her face causing a shot of terror to run through his body. "What is it?"

"Oh, Clara!" If she was human, she would have been sobbing. She looked at him in anguish, "Jasper the strangers, they're coming!"

"Shit," Emmett muttered, his steps not far behind them. "But they're not supposed to be here until tomorrow! What changed!"

"They heard us playing!" She whispered, "I didn't see…"

"Where are they, Alice?" Jasper demanded, an animalistic growl growing in his throat.

Alice didn't need to say anything. The unmistakable sound of smashing and the scream that followed was all the answer he needed.

Jasper didn't think of the others. His legs carried him faster than the rest, his body easily avoiding all the obstacles in his way.

Every sound of destruction coming from ahead of him was like a stab in the chest, every sob and scream unbearable.

How had it all gone so wrong so quickly?

Why did he leave her alone?

He let his instincts take over, and soon he could feel the emotions crackling in the air. Terror, boredom, hunger.

Amusement.

A snarl left his throat as he broke the tree line, and he barely took in the look of his enemy before he barrelled into him, crashing to the ground.

They thrashed around like wild dogs, teeth-gnashing wildly.

Jasper increased the shock and confusion within his opponent's companions, hoping it would hold them off, just long enough to end him.

They moved fast, Jasper grasping the man's torso, tossing him full force through a tree, the crack thundering throughout the air.

His opponent retaliated quickly, red eyes wild and furious. He managed to shove Jasper backwards, but Jasper was experienced. It would take more than that to make an impact.

Jasper planted his feet firm as he slid backwards, the forest floor flying around him. He came to a stop in front of Emmett's ruined jeep. He prepared to attack once again, his enemy crouching in a defensive position, a red-headed woman beside him.

Then he saw the shifting, and his eyes shot to the left.

No.

He couldn't help it. He wasn't expecting it, wasn't prepared for the smell of her blood to fill his nostrils.

It was everywhere, coating her clothes and dripping to the forest floor.

He turned toward her fully. He was battling internally, he needed to stop, the way she shrunk away from him burned his cold dead heart and begged him to stop. But he just couldn't.

Without thinking, he was ready to pounce.

"Jasper no!" Emmett brought him to the ground, holding him firmly despite Jasper's constant thrashing. If it was anyone other than Emmett, Jasper would have gotten out in no time, and the rational side of him was grateful that, that was not the case.

At some point Rosalie showed, facing off against the red-head, while the other stranger stood in the background, watching the scene with bafflement.

Seeing his chance and taking it now that Jasper was incapacitated, the wild man flew over the jeep, arm outstretched.

Jasper let out a wild noise. He was going to kill his human, his Clara.

Carlisle broke the treeline, pushing the man away, Alice wrapping an arm around Clara's waist pulling her safely back and away from the fighting.

Emmett was vibrating, watching Rosalie as she went back and forth with the woman, neither of them seeming to get the upper hand. He wanted to go to her and pull her from danger but knew he couldn't let go of his brother. Not yet.

Clara fell backwards with Alice, hitting the ground hard. Jasper closed his eyes breathing deeply, the scent of her blood so strong in the clearing.

He shook his head. He needed to snap out of it.

Emmett, taking in his brother's despair and anger, gripped his shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

"Enough!" Carlisle called out, desperate for the violence to end before anyone else in his family got hurt.

"I don't understand." The confused stranger shook his head, "Victoria," he was trying to get the red-heads attention, neither of them seeming to want to stay any longer. Not now that they were outnumbered

"James let's go!" Victoria swiped at Rosalie, throwing the blonde backwards into the destroyed vehicle. Emmett's grip loosened.

"Emmett, watch Jasper!" Alice called out, as Jasper started a new round of trashing, succeeding in getting out from under Emmett, seeming to battle with whether to attack the human or follow the enemy.

"Rosalie get back here! Alice stop her!" Carlisle shouted to both his daughters.

Rosalie, who had not taken kindly to Victoria leaving, threw herself from the jeep, determined to end things. She snarled as Alice dragged her backwards, "They're getting away!"

"Let them go, Rosalie," Carlisle demanded, his tone giving no room for argument. Rosalie fumed but stayed put.

Alice shrunk back "Oh God Carlise, there's so much blood… I can't." She put a hand over her nose and mouth.

"Alice!" Jasper called. He was standing now, observing from a distance, Emmett gripping his arms tightly behind him. Alice wasted no time in hurrying over to him, their shared grief and struggle becoming too much.

"She's going to die, someone do something!" Rosalie called in alarm, genuine worry on her face. She shrunk backwards away from the smell.

Alice, seeming to have gotten back some control, took Jasper's face in hers, pulling his focus from the blood and back to her. "You're okay Jasper." He forced himself to not look away.

"'S too much…" Clara mumbled, reaching out in the air with her deathly pale hand.

Alice and Jasper shared a look of great pain, Jasper unable to hold back his anguish at how weak she sounded. But they kept looking just at each other. He needed to gain control.

"Clara, can you hear me?" Carlisle was at her side, the worry in his voice not helping the anxiety of the rest who waited.

"Yes. I don't feel so good though. Where is Jasper? Is he okay?" Clara said it so quiet like she was drifting away. Jasper made a pained noise, struggling against Emmett, but his brother and sister held him firmly.

"I need to get her back to the house," Carlisle said, looking back at them. "Rosalie, Emmett. I need you with me… in case…"

In case they came back.

Jasper's breath heaved. Carlisle looked at him, the question clear.

Are you in control?"

Jasper held his breath and nodded firmly.

"Alice, stay with him," Carlisle commanded.

As Carlisle lifted Clara from the ground and took off, Jasper turned away, looking off in the distance, and closed his eyes. He needed to distract himself. As Emmett cautiously let go of him, Jasper dug his heels into the ground.

He would. Not. move.

Jasper forced himself to tune out everything else. He listened to the birds, the distant rivers and streams, and the gentle blow of the leaves as they moved in the wind.

It all reminded him of that day at the lakes.

With her.

He opened his eyes.

It was just him, Alice and the ruined jeep left in the clearing. They shared a look and they moved swiftly in the opposite direction from the others, craving the fresh air. Anything to clear the mind.

They ended up in the field again, where the game had been abandoned and the hunt had begun.

They stood next to each other, Jasper breathing hard and Alice hugging herself.

"Oh Jaz, what are we going to do?" She asked desperately.

He gave no answer for he didn't have one. He shook his head, and Alice flew forward placing comforting arms around his middle which he returned, neither of them wanting to voice the possibility that she may die. Or was already dead.

"Let's go back to the house." Alice pulled on his arm, and together they made their way back home.

Clara

My eyes fluttered open as I woke naturally from my blissful dreams.

I shuffled against the comfortable pillows which I cuddled. I sighed content, letting my eyes close again, to drift off.

Until I absolutely shit myself and scrambled upwards, a terrified gasp leaving my mouth and I fell to the floor.

My heartbeat was banging in my ears, and I began hyperventilating, recent events hitting me like a truck. I hissed in pain as my injuries jumped alive from the impact.

"Oh God," I said, "I'm dead aren't I?"

"No," I looked up to see Carlisle watching me carefully, a gentle look in his eye. He smiled, "You're thankfully and miraculously, very much alive."

He walked slowly toward me, and I tried to calm my uneven breath.

It's just Carlisle I told myself. He would never hurt me. He helped me.

Memories of his cold hand in mine came to the forefront as he repeated the action now, kneeling before me.

I looked wildly around, then looked back at him. His bright golden eyes somehow soothed me, bringing me back down to Earth.

"What happened?" I asked.

"May I help you off the floor first?"

"Oh yeah," He gripped my hand, and helped me to my feet, letting me sit back down.

He pulled out a small light and shone it in my eyes, "Look here please… and here."

I followed his instructions impatiently, "Carlisle," I pleaded, "Where did they- How-" I didn't know what question to ask.

He breathed heavily then sat down beside me, his hands clasped together, "The… other's of our kind, the strangers… they came sooner than we thought. They heard us playing and came to investigate, but they came across the jeep first."

I shuddered, "They found me."

"Yes. And I am very sorry that you were alone when they did."

The genuine apology that came from him confused me. I shook my head, "It's no one's fault. I probably should have just gone home when instead of waiting it out."

It was then, as I took a deep breath that I realised how much better I felt. No more blocked nose or croaky voice. How was that possible?

"You sustained a lot of injuries, mostly from the jeep wreckage."

I cringed remembering the way the glass had slid across my ribs. My hand flew to my side, and I pulled up my t-shirt. Carlisle had obviously cleaned the wound, the ugly mess hidden from my view by a clean white bandage.

"Suppose it's good I know the town doctor then," I said dryly.

He gave me a small smile, but it never quite reached his eyes. He looked at me, searching for something, "Clara, you shouldn't be alive."

That made me tense, and I laughed humourlessly, "What are you talking about, if that was true, well I wouldn't be here."

"You were bleeding out for some time, and the gash in your side was quite deep. At one point I thought your heart was going to stop, but you just kept breathing. It was… a miracle."

Well, my heart was certainly beating now, and it was beating hard. I shook my head fiercely, "But I don't- I wasn't bitten was I? I haven't turned?" I asked with worry, my hands running over my arms feeling the scabs from the little cuts I had gathered in the scuffle.

Carlisle raised a hand, shaking his head, "No, no. Though the thought did cross my mind… But I checked thoroughly, there were no bite marks on your body, and you weren't reacting as though you were turning. You were rather… peaceful."

This was all getting a little weird. "Right."

His eyes searched my face, "You seem rather calm."

"Oh trust me, I am trying very hard not to vomit right now. I'm at peak' let's pretend nothing is happening and maybe it'll go away' mode."

I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, cringing at the little nicks that were in the midst of healing.

"How long have I been out."

"A few hours."

My eyes widened, "That's ridiculous." I breathed out a laugh, searching his eyes for humour.

There was none. Only a few hours had passed since the attack, and yet, despite the pain thrumming from my side, I felt at peak health, even my silly little cold was gone.

My head felt like it was going to explode.

"What's happening to me?"

"I don't know," Carlisle said, sorrowful that he could not give me the answers I wanted. "You're still human, you're still alive and healing quicker than you should. Though I would still recommend taking it easy until your side has healed completely… We will figure it out, Clara. Together."

I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath through my nose. Okay Clara, one thing at a time.

You're alive.

You're alive and safe.

But they are still out there, and that frightened me.

My head shot up, "The others, are they okay? Bella?"

"Everyone is okay. Worried about you, but they're relatively unharmed. Edward took Bella away as soon as Alice saw what was going to happen."

I nodded, relief flooding me, "Oh, good… And Jasper?" I asked hesitantly.

Carlisle gave me a sad smile, "He'll be okay, now that you're awake. He… well he struggled slightly to control himself. But he did, he took control." Carlisle said it firmly, clearly proud of his adoptive son for taming the beast.

"Do you think… it won't be too hard for me to see him will it?" part of me remembered that scary look in his eye, the other thinking of how he came to my defence as soon as danger presented itself.

He saved me.

Any later, and that monster would have killed me.

I shivered again. Carlisle wrapped a blanket around my shoulders.

"Physically? No, he will be able to handle it. He's strong." He stood, "You can rest more if you wish, or you can join us downstairs… when you're ready. I'll leave it to you." He smiled softly, and I got the feeling that there was a belief I would be hesitant to see a vampire again.

Depending on the kind of vampire that was awaiting me, they would be right, but not the ones who saved me, for whom I had to thank for my continuing to breathe.

I stood up beside him, and nodded with determination, "Let's go."

He nodded once and led the way. My side burned as I walked, each step like pins sticking into me.

Carlisle was patient with my slow pace and helped me down the stairs, leading me to the door of the living room.

They were all there.

Bella sat on the sofa nervously biting at her nails, Edward standing protectively behind her, unmoving.

Rosalie stood in Emmett's arms, her foot tapping impatiently, anxious angry energy rolling off her.

Esme stood by Alice, an arm around each other, looking very forlorn. I'd never seen Alice so still.

And then I spotted him, statue still, back to me, staring out the large glass windows.

The tension in the air was palpable, intense, and depressing.

Was this all because of me?

Is this what my father felt in his final days? Surrounded by those he cared for, not able to stop their anguish.

Oh well, I don't like this.

"Gosh, you'd think someone had died," I said before I could stop myself.

The wide-eyed, sad-angry looks I got in return told me that was not the correct thing to say.

"Too soon?" I said meekly.

Bella's lip trembled and she shot off her seat and straight into me, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"Ow!" I jumped in pain.

Bella pulled back slightly, "Sorry! I just… I thought…" Tears dripped from her eyes.

"Oh no, don't cry. I'm fine, look. Right as rain." I tried to smile convincingly.

I was in fact not right as rain, but the tearful Bella was making me want to pretend that nothing had happened. If only that was true.

I wrapped my arms around her gently, avoiding my middle, and rubbed my hand through her hair comfortingly. Over her shoulder, I made eye contact with Edward.

Did you look after her? I asked in my head.

He gave a single firm nod. I returned it.

As soon as Bella pulled back, another body replaced her.

"Oh, Clara!" Alice was distraught, "It's all my fault, I didn't see them in time- I didn't-"

"Hey, wow, wow." I pushed her back slightly to look her in the eyes, I smiled ruefully, "We can't all be perfect all the time. Even you can't decide the future."

Her brow crinkled, "I thought you were gone. I couldn't see your future, there was just… nothing."

"Yeah I'm hearing this whole I should be 'dead' thing, more than I would like today."

"I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you again."

Esme too gave me a hug, rambling about how worried they all were. She had stayed away from the fighting, going after Edward and Bella. Esme didn't seem like a fighter, so I'm glad she didn't become one on my behalf.

Rosalie showed her relief in a different form, hissing at me, "If you ever get into a situation like that again, I'll bring you back myself just to kill you again."

"Awh rose, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." She had rolled her eyes at that but gave me the softest smile.

She had fought that red-headed woman I remembered, and I wouldn't forget it.

Emmett gave me the biggest, softest bear hug, which contrasted strongly with the voicing of his anger at the strangers, and his want to retaliate was strong.

Jasper stood tense the whole time but refused to look at me. His back hunched in shame. I made my way over to him, slow and in pain, but I needed to look at him.

I came to a stop at his side, taking in the beautiful night view he was observing.

He seemed almost scared to acknowledge me.

I analysed the side of his face for a moment. He looked almost sickly, which was strange to see from beings who were usually so put together.

"Thank you you saving me,"

I saw his eyes widen and his head whipped around to look at me, brows furrowing. He looked ready to refute it.

I wrapped my arms around his middle and hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent, comforting. Calming.

"There's no point in arguing." I mumbled, "If you didn't show when you did, well, you know…"

My trailing words seemed to trigger something in him, and his arms were around me, face buried in my neck.

"Are you okay," I asked.

He laughed unbelievably, head shaking, "I should be asking you that."

"Well, things were a bit crazy for a while there, but I'm feeling better now that I'm here with you. With all of you."

He nuzzled me, "I am… better now."

I got what he was implying, his thirst was under control.

I nodded, smiling understandingly.

"I was really scared." He whispered.

"Me too," I replied.

I wanted nothing more than to go hide away somewhere with him, just the two of us, comforting one another and hiding from the demons that haunted us. I felt as though we had so much to talk about yet no time at all.

The night's events had struck me to the core, the reality of things finally hitting me. Not all vampires were like the family I was lucky enough to have met. It was something I would have to be prepared for, regardless of whether or not the Cullen's decide they're bored of me.

It seemed the majority of humans were not aware of the existence of these supernatural beings. That didn't stop them from being murdered.

Thirty minutes later, a cup of coffee in hand, and I felt as though I was in a war room.

Bella sat close beside me, holding one of my hands. I glanced at Edward who continued to watch her with extreme worry.

"I can assure you, Edward, she's perfectly safe just sitting beside me," I said dryly.

"Excuse my caution, but from the moment I met you, you've been a magnet for danger."

I heard Jasper growl slightly in warning, but I merely rolled my eyes, "I know, it's exhausting."

Edward smirked slightly, and some of the tension relaxed from his body.

Emmett paced like a caged tiger, "If what that wimp companion of theirs was correct, then I don't know why we're waiting around, we've already wasted a lot of time. Let's take the fight to them." His temper was clear. I'd never seen Emmett so serious.

I had been caught up on everything that had happened in the few hours that passed as I was unconscious. Carlisle spent most of it with me, trying to stop the bleeding and keep me alive. The blood was too much for the others to handle, but they felt more useful elsewhere. As it turned out, James was more than just a normal human-killing vampire. He was a tracker. When they first found me, James had commented quite quickly that he was bored, there was no fun in the find. Now though, there had been drama, action and an escape. The hunt was on, and it would never stop while he lived. And what made it even more exciting for him? The aggressive vampire who had fought to defend me, a lowly human. What an exciting opponent indeed.

What a horrifying notion.

My first worry was my mom. What if he went looking for me, and found my mom at home alone. Apparently one of the first things Esme and Alice did was go to my house to ensure she was safe. Thankfully, Sally being sally, had volunteered to stay on for a nightshift tonight at the hospital, so the house start dark and untouched. James and his mate Victoria had been there, but with nothing of interest around they had gone. Alice couldn't see them coming back, so my mom seemed safe, for now at least. Alice promised she was constantly watching for any changes.

Edward had stayed with Bella in the protection of the Cullen house, relieved that for the moment none of the strangers knew about Bella's existence, and they planned to keep it that way. Rosalie had waited in the house too, an extra body of strength until the others returned. Bella had rang Charlie, stating she was staying a while longer with the Cullen's for some after-game snacks, even letting Carlisle talk to the chief of police to soothe his worries.

I had no doubt Bella was going to end up grounded by the time she makes it home. At least Charlie knew who she was with.

Jasper and Emmett took it upon themselves to try and hunt down the ones who dared attack their family, but their opponents were too quick, well versed in the art of the hunt to be cut off so quickly.

At some point, Laurent, the least aggressive of the trio had approached the house with caution. He was frightened, apologetic, embarrassed even by what had transpired. He was the one to inform the family of James's tracker nature, part of the information was extracted unknowingly from his head by Edward, who regrettably, had seen that everything he said was true. Edward was only grateful that James never made it to the clearing while Bella was there. Of course, Laurent didn't come to the family out of the goodness of his heart, but rather to save his own skin. He wanted nothing to do with what was going to transpire and took the inevitable confrontation as the perfect chance to escape.

One thing that was clear from Laurent's thoughts was that James wasn't planning on just killing me. It was all part of the game, seeing how many he would take down to get to his prize.

The information ignited something in me, not fear or pain.

Anger. Pure unbridled anger. Who was this creature to think that he got to decide such things? That got off on playing with and torturing other beings simply for getting in his line of sight.

He was ruthless and savage. Evil.

How many others had been unlucky enough to suffer at the hands of such a monster?

How many human lives are snuffed out for his little game.

And he would begin to torment more in our little town of Forks, the longer I was hidden from them.

Fury filled my veins now, and I could understand Emmett's uncontained temper.

According to Edward and Alice, the remaining two, James and Victoria were currently hiding out, a couple of miles away on high ground, watching and waiting for us to make our move.

"Maybe we should split up?" Alice asked, clearly watching for possible futures, "Confuse them. Perhaps go up to Alberta?"

"Make it seem as though she is fleeing back home," Esme said.

"Yeah, if we lead them up north, they'll follow and the people here should be safe."

"Should be?" I asked brows furrowed. I wrinkled my nose, "I'm not fleeing anywhere! This is my home!"

"We need to protect you-"

"How is splitting up going to protect me? Or any of us! There are two of them, and eight of us."

"Not sure you should include yourself in that number," Rosalie said dryly.

"What is it he's waiting for?" I asked, eyes scanning across the room.

Edward answered, "He's waiting for us to leave you alone."

"Surely he knows that's not likely to happen," Bella stated, looking quite fearful. I grasped her hand.

My mind swirled with thoughts. How do we do this?

Maybe…

"They won't go along with that," Edward stated, answering my thoughts.

"Go with what?" Jasper asked, voice tight.

Edward and I shared a look, It might not be a bad idea if we come up with a good plan.

Edward's eyes narrowed briefly then announced, "She wants to be used as bait."

The chorus of no's that filled the room was almost comical, Jasper's growl the most intense, with Rosalie's "Are you insane!" being a close second.

"Alright, are you all done!" I held up a hand, "Will you hear me out please?"

"What is there to hear?" Jasper hissed, "I'm not leaving you alone again. Not ever."

My heart squeezed, "What if you don't have to?"

There was a pause and I took it as an opportunity to continue.

"James knows you aren't going to willingly let me just walk out the front door. So we have to convince them you all slipped up at some point, let me out of your sight for a couple of minutes. Then when they attack, you'll all know where they are and can ambush them as one. Power in numbers and all that. That way everyone is that bit safer, not just me. A better chance of success."

I could see Alice's eyes shifting, following the future my words were creating, Edward watching her intently.

"Edward could stay here with Bella, maybe someone stays near my mom just in case?"

No one was saying anything, and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Jasper was watching me intently, hanging on my every word.

I sighed, rubbing my side which ached. "Listen, I don't think this is something I want to run from. Forks is my home now, my friends and family are here. You're all here. I'm not giving that up because of some badly dressed hobo monster, okay? I'm not asking you to sacrifice me or whatever. I'm asking you supposedly very intelligent beings to put on your thinking caps and come up with a plan on our terms. He wants to push you out of your territory? Have you running scared? Fuck that."

"We would need some place to ambush him." Emmett said, the eagerness in his pace evident, "Somewhere secluded, that he would think we were trying to hide you momentarily, and far enough away from Forks to avoid the other humans."

"I have a place in mind," I offered.

"That could work," Edward agreed, looking into my mind.

"How do you kill a vampire?" Bella asked quietly, her hand squeezing my intermittingly.

"The best way is to tear them apart and burn them," Edward answered for her. Bella shivered.

"God, even in death vampires are so dramatic. Talk about overkill," I snorted.

I could see the discussion of killing was unsettling for Carlisle and Esme, such peaceful beings, but they made no attempt to disagree.

"So, are we going to do this?" I asked, looking around at them all.

I looked at Jasper. He said nothing for a beat then, with a single confident nod, "Okay."

He looked at Alice for confirmation, and she nodded.

Jasper walked across the room and grasped my free hand, thumb running comfortingly atop it. I could feel the fierce protectiveness radiating from him. He wanted nothing more than to finish what he started earlier.

"Hell yes, I'm in!" Emmett agreed, eager to get started, his hulking figure clenching and unclenching.

Rosalie quickly followed suit, as did Esme and Carlisle.

"Alright then." I sipped my coffee, my stomach a bundle of nerves, veins pumping with anger, and the constant reminder of my almost death thumped at my side. "We need a plan. And it better include ripping that bastard's head off.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Monster

I'll stop the whole world

I'll stop the whole world from turning into a monster

Eating us alive

Don't you ever wonder how we survive?

Well, now that you're gone, the world is ours

Paramore, Monster

The lake was different at night. Still just as beautiful, but it was a much quieter feeling, gentle natural sounds meeting my ears and the rising moonlight shone off the gentle lapping water.

I hope I can come here again with Jasper some night, and enjoy the calm.

Currently, the darkness only served to increase my nerves, every little movement and sound making me jump, every shadow could be James, watching me.

I shivered.

I wrapped my arms around myself, leg bouncing in place as I shifted on the log I sat on.

We had played out the script perfectly, and now I looked at the gentle lapping on the lake, then squinted across the long distance to the other side, unable to make out much of anything, but hoped that they were getting into place. All I had to do was stay alive long enough for this to work.

Should be easy then…

Not a few minutes before, I had arrived here in Emmett's arms, Alice following close behind.

"I should check the area, make sure they took the bait and didn't follow us." Alice looked around.

"Yeah alright," Emmett nodded, "I'll stay with Clara."

The 'bait' as Alice had referred to as was our red herring. It had taken a lot of back and forth trying to plan, Alice's visions always pushing us off track just when we thought we were getting somewhere.

Our plan ended up like this - Rosalie and I had swapped clothes, in an attempt to confuse the tracker with our scents. Of course, we knew he would work it out rather quickly, but we needed him to think we underestimated him. To add further to this ploy, we needed James and Victoria to think we had split up, that way we could get them to do the same. James's initial thought would be that Jasper and I would be together, the furious attack he had instigated in my defence was what drew James to this chase, to begin with. Jasper, Rose and Carlisle ran off in one direction first and then Emmett, Alice and I in another soon after. Esme waited with Edward and Bella in the house until they knew that the tracker and his mate were far enough out of range that they could bring Bella back home, and hang around the area for her, Charlie and my mom if she decided to reappear.

I don't know if they had even left yet but I hope they were all okay.

Hopefully, James was arrogant enough to think he had figured out our little tricks, that he enjoyed the little game of our scrambling.

The thing that tied together the plan was Jasper's little trick which he revealed to us; his ability to mask a presence so to speak. To make himself so uninteresting that no one would even bother looking his way.

Alice had been gone for a few minutes when I said meekly, "Do you think she's okay?" to Emmett.

We shared a brief look. It was time.

Emmett hummed, looking around.

"Should you go see?"

"I don't think I should leave you alone."

I bit my lip, "...what if something happened to her?" I didn't have to fake the fear in my voice, the very permanent consequences of the plan going wrong were at the forefront of my mind.

After some back and forth, I 'convinced' Emmett to go.

And here I sat, waiting, unsure of what was coming, but hoping I knew how it would end.

There was the crack of a branch from behind me and I whipped around, eyes desperate to pick up on any shadow that looked out of place.

"Alice?" I said cautiously, rising to my feet. "Emmett?" I stepped forward a few times.

"Emmett?" I snapped my head to the right. There he was, watching me so casually, "Is that the name of the large one who brought you here? Or the scarred one?"

My fear was momentarily forgotten, overcome by confusion, "The scarred one?"

"Ah. I forgot human eyes are useless the majority of the time. No wonder you haven't run scared from him." He tilted his head at me, eyes clear through the darkness, "I didn't think you would still be breathing if I'm honest."

I shrugged, my arms hugging my torso, almost as a protection for the wound, "Guess you don't know a lot about humans."

"I know enough." He started walking toward me, clearly in no hurry.

"Alice and Emmett will be back soon," I said, voice faltering as he grew close.

Breathe Clara, breathe.

"Victoria will keep them busy long enough for me to be done here. It won't take long don't worry."

Forest on my left, lake on my right. Do I run? Definitely not, no point. No point in fighting either, I've already had a taste of what that could be like. So… talking it is. Not sure how interested I can keep him but here goes.

I planted my feet firmly, arms tightening as he stopped in front of me. I flinched back as he lifted a hand toward my face.

"I really don't understand why a whole coven is willing to protect you so fiercely. It's intriguing. You don't even smell good."

"So I've been told. If I'm that unappealing then what's the point in all this?" I demanded, trying hard to keep eye contact with those horrible red eyes.

"Oh, this has nothing to do with you," He started to circle me, observing me as though I was an animal in the zoo. When he couldn't see my eye line, I glanced at the lake.

Come on Jasper.

"It's the scarred one I'm intrigued by. I've never seen someone so animalistic, so naturally… war-like. I will very much enjoy seeing what he would do when he finds your body."

A chill ran down my spine, an image of my own lifeless body flashing through my mind.

No. That's not going to happen.

"...besides, this has been far too quick, too dull. I enjoyed your little ploys to try and confuse us, but in the end, they were really quite pathetic. Victoria and I were excited about an across-country chase." He stopped in front of me again. "Then they left you here all alone."

I bit the inside of my cheek but said nothing.

He didn't pay me any notice and continued, "It's only fair really. I get one of theirs to replace the one who goes away…"

"Do you always say such vague things?" I asked in genuine frustration.

He tilted his head amused, "Alice… That's her name, isn't it? I was surprised when I saw her in the clearing."

I tensed up, unsure of where he was going with this.

He continued, "The only time my prey got away. Some old fool was fond of her, much like your little coven is of you I suppose. And when he knew I was after his little friend he freed her, made her safe. Made her one of us."

My breath caught. Is he lying?

"Poor thing barely seemed to notice the pain, stuck in a nineteen twenties asylum, shock treatments and a dark cell for a room, all because of those visions of hers." He sighed, "I had to destroy the old one in vengeance. I had no interest in touching her any longer. Such a shame, she truly did smell delicious. Perhaps I'll finish what I started after I'm done with you… I'm surprised… Jasper was it? I'm surprised he didn't change you. An obvious solution to your predicament. Though I must admit, I am thrilled that you were left as you were."

I shivered, and I felt an overwhelming feeling of panic come over me. I shook my head.

"You're pathetic."

He looked at me amused, which just infuriated me more.

"You think you're something special, but you're not. You may be faster, and stronger, but you're just as pathetic as human murderers. Hunting and killing those who are weaker, who are vulnerable. You seek power over those who you deem lesser. You feel impressive, do you? Hunting humans, who are no threat to you at all?"

His amusement was dropping. Perhaps I was hitting his ego where it hurts. I took a step backwards toward the lake, the current lapping a bit stronger toward the shore.

"If anything," I continued, confidence building, "You're even worse than humans. You're practically immortal, and this is what you do. How old are you? Have you spent your whole life hunting in the shadows? You've left nothing behind in this world, no one knows who you are. No one will remember you."

I shook my head in mocking pity, " You're worthless James. Worthless. And you always will be." I said it so sincerely and was almost shocked by how calm I was.

James's red eyes flashed. Then a hand was around my throat and I could feel my feet splash in the water at the edge of the river. Fear swooped through me. One squeeze and he could break my neck. Despite it being rather useless, I couldn't help but bring my hands up and squirm in his arms.

"For someone who is very breakable, you sure do talk a lot." He brought his other hand up and began pushing a thumb into my side. I screeched in pain, feeling the slight tearing in my stitches.

It seemed shocking to both of us that when I pushed against his face with my hands that he actually moved. Not much, granted, but enough for him to drop me in confusion at the force.

I hit the ground hard, water splashing and soaking into my clothes. The water was flowing aggressively against my form, and it wasn't because of me.

Neither of us had more than a second to register what had happened before Jasper arrived.

On instinct, I raised my hands to cover my head as the loud crashing of the water behind me sounded, and despite the coldness of the lake washing over me, my chest filled with warmth.

Everything is going to be okay.

I hugged myself as droplets rained down my face causing a chill. Looking up in front of me I could barely make out the scrambling fight going on.

Jasper had swum underwater from one side of the lake to the other. Alongside his special trick, I also learned that water was one of the only things to make vampires disappear, so why not use that to our advantage? The best way to outsmart the hunter is to make sure there's nothing around for him to sniff out.

Dirt was flying everywhere, and then all of a sudden it stopped.

They stood across from each other tense and on the defensive. James looked almost… scared. Taken Aback. He was hunched low, teeth barred, feet shifting, as the cogs in his head were turning, figuring out what to do next.

He wasn't expecting this.

In contrast, Jasper stood tall and still. Cold as stone. At that moment, I saw the soldier in him, and this time he was fully in control.

James' eyes flickered wildly around, the fury clear on his face.

I pushed myself off the ground, back aching in protest. I hissed when my side burned, freezing when my hand revealed a little blood from my freshly ripped stitches.

I looked up cautiously, just in time to see James sniff the air, eyes landing on the red on my palm.

But it wasn't James that I was worried about. It was Jasper's tense form that my eyes were drawn to.

I could see his head tilt toward me, though his eyes never looked away from James.

I swallowed, "I'm fine." I shivered, trying to sound reassuring.

Jasper nodded very slightly, then moved his body to the side, blocking me from James' view.

It was at that moment that James decided to make his escape, presuming Jasper was too distracted by the smell of blood in the air. He turned on his heel and ran toward the forest, keen to disappear between the thick of the trees.

He didn't make it that far. Just as he reached the tree line, Emmett grasped him firmly around the throat, a wicked grin on his face, but it didn't hide the fire burning in his eyes. "Where are you off to? I thought you would be excited to see us."

It gave me a strange satisfaction to see James squirm, feet off the ground, as Emmett walked him back into the clearing.

I jumped as cold arms wrapped around me, but relaxed once I saw it was only Alice. She gave me a worried smile, and I grabbed her hand reassuringly.

"Sorry we're late," Emmett spoke, "The red-head was being a pest, but Rose wanted to take care of her, so we left it in her capable hands. "

"I kept an eye on everything the whole time... I knew you'd be okay." Alice said in a hushed tone. "If we came any sooner..." Things would have gone wrong.

Emmett grasped one of James' arms with his other hand to stop it from flailing around. The sounds that came from the red-eyed creature were animalistic and enraged, and despite his weak position, he still continued to fight.

James' one free hand swiped out at Jasper, who grabbed it firmly, as Emmett forced their opponent to the ground. With a twist and firm crunching stomp of his foot, Jasper ripped James's arm from his body and flung it away, a pained howl filling the area.

I yelped throwing my hands over my eyes, "Ew! You don't have to start doing that in front of me!"

...Curiosity got the better of me, and I couldn't help but peek through my fingers, my mind running away from me with wild gory thoughts of what could be in front of me.

"Oh." It really was quite underwhelming, and very weird to look at. I held on to Alice's arm and leant my leg out as far as possible, letting the toe of my shoe nudge the now dismembered arm.

It was like the arm had been pulled off a porcelain doll.

When I looked up again, I noticed what I had been missing.

Pure, unbridled horror.

Or at least that's what was showing on James' face. And then I felt it, the emotions seeping into the air. Jasper wanted no doubt that this was the end of the line for the hunter. There was no escaping this time. There was a crack on James' face which had appeared in the moments that I had been looking away, and the pain which was clear from his expression indicated that there was possibly another part of him being twisted off, hidden from my eyes.

I was quite thankful.

And then I noticed that they were talking too.

Fast and unintelligible to my ears, the pleasure on Emmett's face was almost unnerving.

"Jasper," Alice called out, an unspoken conversation passing between them.

He nodded. He had been so quiet and I was unsure of whether he was trying to protect me from the rage he was unleashing or if he was focusing hard to ignore my blood. Or both.

Emmett lifted James again, taking him toward the dark forest. It was a strange moment when our eyes met. This being whom I knew next to nothing about apart from his love for the hunt, had almost killed me, twice, and wanted to play a game with the people that I love, all because he only ever saw my life as something to toy with.

My eyes hardened, and I hope the message I wished to convey to him was clear.

Never again, asshole.

My attention was drawn to Jasper as he moved to follow his brother. "Get her back home," Jasper said to Alice, who nodded firmly out of the corner of my eye.

"Wait!" I called out, causing him to freeze and look around at me for the first time.

"Uh…" I stumbled forward, stopping short in front of the arm which had become covered in dirt. With a disgusted look, I reached down with my fingers and held the arm out in front of me, watching it the whole time for any movement like a wiggle of a finger.

Coming to a stop in front of Jasper, who looked down at me with a raised eyebrow, I held it out to him. "Don't forget this. You said it all has to go right?"

"...Right." He took the arm from me, uncaring, and with one firm, practised throw, the arm sailed overhead, landing somewhere far off in the distant trees.

"Oh," I clasped my hands together, "Good. Very efficient… Um."

I looked up at him, hair clinging to his face as the water droplets fell from his face.

Jasper indicated to Emmett to go on, then began to speak, "Clara-"

Before he could finish, I threw my arms around him, cheek wet as I clung to his wet-clothed chest. "Once you've… Once you're done, will you come and see me. I think we should talk."

I felt a hand come up to cradle my head and another snake around my back, grip tightening.

"Yes." He whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry." He said, brows furrowed in worry.

I shook my head, "'Nothing to be sorry for." I reassured. "You've saved me twice now. If anything I should be sorry for constantly being in danger."

"Well, you do have a knack for getting in trouble." He teased gently and smiled warmly. I returned it, glad to hear part of his normal self come to the surface.

"Jasper…" I was worried now, glancing back to the tree line, the monster no longer in view. "Don't… lose yourself okay? You're better than him. You're not that."

He cupped my cheek, tender, self-conscious eyes flickering across my face. "...I know."

With effort, I pulled myself from his hold, "Be safe."

"You too."

"Of course, I'll be with Alice." As I said her name, she appeared at my side, her presence a comfort to my shivering form.

Then he was gone, and the world was quiet.

I rubbed my arms, "Let's get out of here." I mumbled, each throb in my body becoming harder to ignore.

"Just a minute," Alice said patiently, eyes glancing around as though waiting for something.

I furrowed my brows, only now noticing that something was a bit off with her.

"Alice-?" I began to question, only to be cut off by blonde hair whipping into my face, hands grasping my arms, "Ah!" I let out a yell.

Rosalie studied my body for any injuries, eyes falling onto my blood-stained clothes. She took a subtle breath to hold, and forced herself to look up at me. She looked a lot more flustered than I had seen her before.

"I'm okay," I patted her arm, raising an eyebrow, "Are you okay?" I asked.

She huffed, mouth twisting as though unsure of what to say. Taking a step back she crossed her arms, toeing the dirt beneath her feet, "You got blood on my shirt."

I breathed out a laugh, "I'll buy you a new one."

She gave me a small warm smile which said, glad to see you're alive. "Buy me two"

Carlisle soon joined us, checking over my injuries, and ensuring his daughters were okay. The way the others kept glancing over in the direction Emmett and Jasper had left indicated to me that things seemed to have gone as we planned.

Rosalie was hissing about Victoria, who had managed to escape her. She had been too quick, having a strange ability to find the best exit and disappear. Not really a problem I wanted to think about right now. Carlisle interrupted her to reassure me that both my mom and Bella were safe, no one had gone near them apart from Edward and Esme, though Bella did get a scolding from Charlie for staying out so late. Nice to hear of some normality.

I felt as though I was in a dream, the last couple of hours blurring into one as my body protested from my continued consciousness. Seeing this, once they returned me back to my house I was firmly instructed to get a lot of sleep by Carlisle, and I wasn't going to protest. I would go to the Cullen's the next day and deal with the fallout then. It was after midnight when I arrived back home, and my mother was fast asleep thankfully.

All I wanted was to cuddle into my pillows.

…And Jasper.

I couldn't help but worry, but tried to remember the confidence in his stride and push the negative thoughts from my head.

Besides, he was with Emmett, that big tree trunk.

It was with these thoughts as I hugged a pillow to my chest that I began to cry.

I couldn't help it, no longer able to keep it in.

The events of the day took hold of me and the reality came crashing down.

Fuck, I almost died. Everyone could have died.

What scared me more than the hunter out to kill me, was the implications it brought with it. If that's what one vampire can do, what about others? What else was out there lurking in the shadows? It felt as though the worst was yet to be revealed and I wasn't sure whether I was ready to know.

And What was happening to me? Am I broken? Everything felt so jumbled.

The bed dipped as I quietly sobbed into my blankets, and before Jasper even pulled me into his arms, I knew it was him, his presence nearby becoming second nature to me.

I clutched him, face buried into his side, and we sat like that until all of my tears had dried up.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Eight- I Have Confidence

With each step I am more certain

Everything will turn out fine

I have confidence

The world can all be mine

They'll have to agree

I have confidence in me

I Have Confidence, The Sound of Music

When the door to my bedroom opened, I jumped awake, flailing in my bed sheets, heart pumping loudly in my ears.

I squinted against the light.

"Clara?" It was my mom's voice, laced with surprising concern.

I blinked, then rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself. I felt so disorientated like I couldn't figure out what was real and what was not. I looked down beside me, the vague imprint of another body was still present on my bed sheets. Where has he gone?

"Honey, are you okay?" my mom walked further into the room, taking a seat beside me on the bed, "You're sweating."

I wiped the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand, "I think I had too many blankets last night just."

"What happened to your hand?" she grasped it gently, looking over the scabs which littered the surface.

A confirmation of the previous night's events.

I forced myself not to cringe and shudder as the memories hit me.

I laughed lightly, "I fell over last night. Typical." I took my hand back and cradled it in my lap

My mom tutted, "Clara! You need to be more careful."

"I know, I know."

"At least your cold seems to have cleared up. What did you end up doing last night anyway? You got home very late."

"Oh, I was… uh… playing baseball with the Cullen's and Bella. Guess the time just got away from us."

"Well, that sounds like fun. It's nice that Bella was there too, I heard from Charlie that she and Edward…"

I smiled, "Yes mother, they are a thing."

She tried her best to suppress a smile, "They'll be so cute."

"Nauseating one might say."

"Oh shush you," she hit me lightly on the arm. "You're just jealous. When are you going to get back out there anyway? There are some cute guys in Forks, you know."

I tried not to grin, "Hadn't noticed."

"Mhmm," she looked at me suspiciously but didn't enquire further, "listen I have to go to work but you'll be here for dinner won't you?"

"What day is it again?"

"Monday."

"Shit, no. I'm supposed to be doing the evening shift tonight."

"What time do you finish?"

I rubbed a hand over my face, "Uh, Eight O'Clock I think."

"I'll just wait for you then."

"Don't be silly." I started, but she shook her head, smiling.

"I want to… I feel like we haven't got to sit down and enjoy dinner together in a while. Just the two of us." She gently pushed strands of hair away from my face.

I bit my lip, then threw my arms around her, clutching her tightly and blinking back my tears.

"Oh!" She was taken aback but returned the gesture. "Are you sure you're okay?" She laughed, "You're a bit out of it this morning."

"Yeah…" I tightened my grip, "I think I just had a bad dream…"

I desperately wanted to spill my guts to my mom, to tell her everything that had happened, that I was so close to no longer breathing and how scared I was. I wanted her to hold me and tell me it would all be okay.

But I can't.

"Awh sweetheart. It was just a dream, don't worry." She rubbed my back, soothing my worries.

"Yeah… yeah, I think dinner together sounds good." I blinked away any remaining tears, then pulled back smiling. "How about I stop and get us a pizza."

"Perfect." She cupped my cheek, beaming.

Her phone buzzed then and she swore, "Okay I really have to go now." She stood, "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'll send you a text later when I'm on my way home."

Once my mom left, closing the door gently behind her, I threw myself back into the blankets, blowing out a breath. My eyebrows furrowed as my side throbbed, another reminder of reality.

Once again rubbing a hand over my face, I checked the time and decided that I could have another quick sleep, not ready to face the world just yet.

I woke much more relaxed the second time and was met with a pleasing image.

Jasper's back was to me as he hovered over my desk, his figure blocking my view from whatever he was doing.

I pushed myself up, catching his attention. I smiled softly when his golden eyes met mine, and then climbed out of bed.

"Where did you go?" I asked, making my way to him.

Jasper turned to me fully, eyes scanning my body, "When your mom woke up, I thought it was best if I gave you some space, just until she had left. Apart from that, I was here all night."

I wrapped my arms around his middle, "I'm glad."

I think it was necessary for both of us, that the first night after such events left us both feeling vulnerable and scared, and there was a comfort to be gained by simply being in each other's presence.

"Sorry for getting tears all over your T-shirt by the way."

"It's okay. Because it's you, I'll be forgiving"

I smirked, "People are going to start accusing you of special treatment you know."

"And they'd be right."

I raised an eyebrow and indicated behind him, "What are you doing anyway?"

My eyebrows rose in amusement as I took in the bashful way he avoided my eyes, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

"What's got you all shy, cowboy? It's not like you." I teased, laughing at the way he scowled in response.

"I… was trying to think of a way to- I know how much you enjoy those hot drinks-"

"You mean coffee?"

"Yes." He said shortly making a frustrated noise, "but I couldn't figure out how to do it."

I watched him expectantly, and with a roll of his eyes, he reached behind him and held out a mug to me.

I looked down at it, "I don't think coffee is supposed to be white, Jasper."

"I know that!" He hissed, and I smothered a laugh behind my hand. I took the mug from him before he could protest, and took a cautious sip.

Warmth flooded me, "It's warm milk."

"Yes…" He eyed me suspiciously, "I remember your mom made it for you when you were sick."

I beamed, "Thank you, it's just what I needed… and despite the fact that it couldn't be easier to just heat up some milk, I'm sure it took a lot of effort, so I'm proud of you."

He grinned wolfishly, and I squealed as he scooped me up into his arms, careful not to spill a drop from the mug in my hand.

"Ma'am if I didn't know any better, I would say you were making fun of me." He walked me back over to the bed.

"Who? Me? Never!" I curled into his lap as we sat against the headboard.

I took a thoughtful sip, clutching my mug as a comfort. "So yesterday. That all happened didn't it? I didn't just have a really vivid nightmare?"

"Yes." His answer was short, tense, and clearly waiting for me to continue, one of his hands ghosting over my injured side, the coolness from his skin comforting.

I sunk deeper into his hold. "It all seems to blur into one, so many things happening so quickly. Feels like life was on double speed."

Jasper shook his head, "Not for me. Waiting for you to wake up… felt like a lifetime."

I frowned, wrapping an arm around his, trying to comfort him, and he accepted it.

"Are you… okay?" He asked, caution in his voice.

"I will be… it's just a lot to get my head around. But I'm alive, and so is everyone I care about, so I'm trying to think of that." I whispered the next part, "He's really gone, isn't he."

I felt the anger flare within Jasper, and his arms tensed, but his voice was cool and collected, "Yes. And he won't ever come back."

I nodded, dark happiness flooding me knowing he was gone. I didn't even want to say his name.

"Clara," Jasper started, hesitation clear in his voice, "I want you to know, that if you want to end this…" I turned to look at him properly as he continued, "if last night made you rethink wanting to associate with us, then I won't hold you back. You can… be free."

"Free?" Free of the Cullen's? Is that what he means? I hadn't thought about it, the confusing back and forth of whether my continued friendship with this unique family was good for me or not. I set my mug on my bedside table.

I scanned his face, devoid of any hints as to what he was thinking, "Is that what you want?"

He looked confused then, "That- No, I mean… You almost died Clara, you saw me at my worst. I wouldn't resent you for running far away from me. I just want you to know you have that choice."

I smiled at him sadly, "You have that choice too you know. This whole thing we have going on, it's not exactly easy for you or your family, as evident from the mess of yesterday. I don't want you to be in pain."

Jasper didn't seem to know what to say, perhaps he too hadn't thought about the fact that he too could end things here and now.

Which gave me a strange hope. Perhaps he doesn't want to.

"...Well anyway," I started, a small smile forming on my face, "If you want to know what I want, it's to stay how things are, to see where things go."

"Why?" He seemed like he couldn't believe that I wanted to be with him.

"Because I love you, silly."

Now that stunned him.

He stared at me, not saying anything, not moving.

I bit the inside of my cheek, a blush rising as the embarrassment flooded my body.

Maybe I jumped the gun…

"You know, you don't have to say it back or-"

He grasped my face in his hands and pulled me in for a deep kiss, pouring all the fear, desperation and relief of the events which had changed us, into one fierce action.

When he pulled back, both of us breathing heavily, he leaned his forehead against mine, and I swallowed hard.

"I love you more than anything. And that terrifies me." I could feel his fingers shaking against my skin, and I brought a hand up to cup his against my cheek. "Part of me feels as though I should let you go, would be kinder in the long run, but I don't want to."

"Then don't" I smiled, "I don't want you to either."

A moment.

Then finally, as though allowing himself to accept what was, Jasper grinned pushing me down beneath him, his hair falling into his face.

I giggled.

"This goes against everything, a human and a vampire. It goes against nature." He said.

"I've never been one to follow the rules."

"We're crazy."

"Maybe..." I bit my lip, "...Maybe that's why we're perfect for each other?

And he kissed me again. And again and again, each touch and smile and laugh like rays of sunshine, pushing the bad memories from my mind, leaving behind only hope and love.

A feeling of invincibility that screamed, whatever happens, we can get through it.

Together.

"Alice you can let go now," I said, cheek to cheek with my friend, who had been hugging me for the last five minutes, rambling on and on about how happy she was to see me, how happy she was that I was okay.

At least she seemed a bit more like herself.

"Just one more minute."

We sat in her bedroom, Alice insisting on some of me and her time.

There were only five of us in the house currently; Me, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme.

The others had continued the facade, going to school, not even hinting to the little sleepy town that anything horrible had happened. Though I didn't say it out loud, I was happy with fewer people around, it was quite exhausting repeating that you were okay over and over.

Once Alice finally pulled back, she was smiling, but I could sense something else was lingering behind that happy expression.

"Alice…" I looked at her with concern, "Please tell me what's wrong. You have that same look you had last night…"

She frowned and looked away. "I was just really scared for you, that's all."

My eyes narrowed, cogs turning in my mind. She sighed and before I could even speak she said, "I know what you're going to ask."

"Oh. Well, that's good, because I don't."

She gave a slight smile and then clasped her hands in her lap. "I heard what he said. At the lake I mean."

I tilted my head, trying to think back to what she was referring to. I threw a hand to my mouth, "Oh Alice, I'm sorry! I meant to say something-"

"Shush. You had more important things to be worrying about."

I bit my lip, unsure of how to approach the revelation of Alice's history. "Do you think he was telling the truth?"

She shrugged, "I don't know." She huffed in frustration, "I've never been more annoyed about not remembering anything. And what he said, where I was…"

I watched the emotions flicker over her face, unable to keep the sad look off of my own.

"I'm sorry…" I grabbed her hand, "Does it feel better to know? Or?"

"I'm not sure. Yes and no… I had accepted the fact I would never know, and to learn like this. It's hard to know what to feel."

I put my arm around her, pulling her into my side, "Hey, you don't need to deal with it now. The number of tragic events I'm pushing to the back of my mind right now is many, and I plan on ignoring them until I'm ready. Give yourself time to figure things out, then you can decide what to do, yeah? And we'll all be here when you are."

She beamed, "I knew you'd make me feel better."

"You knew, as in I'm just that wonderful to be around, or you knew." I raised an eyebrow.

She grinned, "Both." She rested her head on my shoulder, "When did you get so old and wise?"

"Parental death and broken relationships will do that to a girl." I smirked, "And someone needs to be the sensible one around here."

"Oh yes, you're definitely the sensible one, Miss 'let's break into houses.'

"That was one time!"

"Carlisle, could I speak to you for a minute." I lingered outside of his office, awaiting his approval to cross the threshold.

Carlisle nodded, "Of course, I wanted to look over your wounds before I left for the hospital.."

I walked in and we stood in a comfortable silence as I lifted my top slightly and he peeled back my bandages, cleaning my wound.

I cringed slightly, the area still tender.

"Is it still painful?"

"I wouldn't say painful, but it's still sensitive to touch.

"Hmm…" Carlisle was gentle in his work, "Just as your other wounds, it's healing well, and fast. If I was to take a guess, another week or so, and it should be good as new." He smiled softly, rebandaging me up.

"I suppose that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I said, tilting my head, "Something's happening to me, and I can't even begin to understand how or why."

Carlisle's smile turned rueful, "Neither can I. What we do know is something happened when you were attacked, something that was awoken within you." He looked thoughtful, "There has been no history of such a thing within your family?"

I shook my head, "No, not as far as I'm aware. If it had, surely my father wouldn't have died."

Carlisle gave me a sad look. "I think it would be best for me to do some tests, to try and feel out what exactly it is that has changed in your makeup."

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm on board with that."

"However," He continued, "I think you should give yourself a break for a while, yes? You've been through a lot, take some time to rest and be normal. Recover. And then, when you're ready…"

My mouth twisted, "Once we start, it's going to change everything isn't it?"

"Perhaps," He smiled reassuringly, "The power is in your hands, Clara. Whatever we learn, whatever it is, it's for you to decide what to do with. No one else."

I returned his smile, less frightened at the prospect of the unknown.

"The other vampire, the woman. Is she…" I trailed off, uncomfortable talking about my would-be killers.

"Gone. Alice says she has no intention of coming back, she knows she's outmatched, and with her mate gone, there's nothing for her here but anger. She'll stay away." He gave me a reassuring look, "Alice will keep an eye on things though. If she comes anywhere near Forks, we'll be ready."

I ran a hand through my hair, "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble."

He held up a hand, "Don't apologise, You're family now. And we look after family."

I had to blink back more tears. And then I hugged him.

He was shocked and so was I, but I couldn't help the overwhelming gratitude that wracked through me. This man kept me alive, helps protect me, say's I was family and is willing to assist me in solving the mystery of my healing wounds.

How is someone filled with so much good?

"You're a really good person Carlilse." I sniffed.

"I'm not so sure about that… but thank you." He looked sad, and it was a look that was familiar to me.

I saw it every time the Cullens recounted their tragic past.

"If you would," I started, "I would like to hear about your life one day. I feel as though I don't know much about you personally. But I would like to."

He smiled, genuine and warm, "Of course. "

It was Esme that drove me to work that afternoon. Once I assured Carlise that something normal was just what I needed right now, he gave me the go-ahead to work, ensuring I took painkillers and hydrated thoroughly before leaving the house.

Jasper was like an inpatient dog lingering around me, watching for any sign I was in fact not okay.

It was only after Alice made fun of him and I laughed at her teasing that he scowled, and sat huffing arms crossed on the sofa as I got ready to leave. He had been the one who wanted to drive me to work, but when Esme asked with that sweet smile, he just couldn't say no. Even if he really really wanted to.

Poor thing.

I shook my head, smiling fondly. Before I left the room, I made sure to lean down and give him a soft kiss on the cheek as a goodbye, "I'll see you later yeah?" I wiggled my brows.

He reached out to grab me, grinning wolfishly, but Alice was quicker and swept me away laughing.

"I hope you don't mind me driving you." Esme said, "I wouldn't usually steal you away from my Jasper like that, but I wanted to speak with you about something."

I snickered, "Don't worry about it," I reassured her, "It's really quite funny seeing him huff so much."

Esme shook her head amused, "Honestly, what am I going to do with them?"

I smiled and then asked, "What is it you wanted to speak with me about?" Then my stomach dropped and my face fell into a frown, "If you're about to be really angry with me about getting your family into such a bad situation yesterday, I wouldn't blame you… Please don't hate me-"

"Oh my goodness Clara!" She let out a shocked laugh, shaking her head wildly, "Of course not, how could you think such a thing? No, we look after our own and you're no exception."

"Oh."

Esme smiled softly, "What I was going to ask you… well of course you don;t have to, perhaps you don't even want to, which of course would be okay…"

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

She blew out a breath, "Obviously a lot has happened and you probably don't want any more upheaval, but I just wanted you to know that if you ever decided you were ready for a change, I would love for you to work with me permanently."

"Eh?" I sat up straight. Did I just get a job offer?

"Oh I would have said to you from the beginning, but I didn't know whether you would even enjoy my kind of work. You're really very good, you're very talented you know." She gave me a warm look, "You'd get paid very well of course, though I know money isn't everything. Don't be afraid to say no by the way. I won't be offended-"

"Are you kidding?" I said, excited surprise clear in my tone, "Of course, I'd love that! I mean I'll be incredibly terrified of messing up at like all times, but that's what I have you for!"

"Oh, wonderful! How exciting! We'll have to get you your own little space to work, and new equipment."

"You don't have to do that," I protested, but Esme waved me away.

"Oh hush, just say yes."

I grinned, unable to help it, "Yes… and thank you."

I hadn't felt so full of energy as I bounced into the shop that afternoon.

"What's got you so happy?" Addy grumbled from behind the till.

"Well Addy, since you asked, let me tell you. This just so happens to be my last day in this, mother fuckin' Godforsaken place."

"WHAT?"

It took a lot of convincing to reassure Addy that I was referring only to our little shop and not the whole of Forks. Whilst I scrambled to comfort a near-crying Addy, it was weirdly warming to know that if I just up and left, she would miss me.

Once convinced, she sniffed and said, "I'm not crying because of you, I just had a lot of onion for my lunch, I think some got in my eye."

She had no qualms about hiding her jealousy of me finding an actual job that I enjoy, but celebrated by cracking open two tubs of ice cream and eating until our stomachs hurt.

We talked nonsense for the majority of the shift, and I listened like a giggling school girl as she discussed Aaron and Grace's budding relationship. We also promised to plan another night out very soon. (I'd have to stall till I no longer had a gash on my side).

I could barely keep my buzzing excitement concealed as I entered the house, arm primed with pepperoni pizza.

My mom had already got the sofa decked to the nines with pillows and blankets, slippered feet curled up beneath her, "Hey you," She smiled, "You look in a much better mood than this morning."

"How could you tell?" I grinned, throwing my shoes off and joining her.

"Work was good then?" She questioned.

"Oh yes. Particularly because I resigned today to officially work full time for Esme."

"Oh my god!" She sat up straight eyebrows disappearing into her hairline, "Stop!"

I squealed, "I swear! She asked me today, I couldn't believe it."

My mom clapped excitedly and then hugged me fiercely. "Oh Clara, that's amazing! I knew you'd be an artist one day. Even if it is through a different route than I'd have imagined."

"Well, life certainly hasn't gone as I would have expected here in little ol' Forks. Not that I'm complaining." I pressed my hands to my face, "God, Mom. I really feel like I'm figuring things out, you know? Like I've finally got direction. I'm really happy."

My mom took a deep breath, emotions welling behind her eyes, "Oh sweetheart," She sniffed, "Your dad would be so proud. And more than anything, he would be happy just knowing you were happy. And I'm the same. I'm always going to support you, no matter what. You know that right?"

I nodded, wiping my own tears away, and we laughed at our silly emotions.

After a few more tearful declarations of mother-daughter love, we got comfy, pizza between us, watching 'The Sound of Music'.

It was as Maria was skipping down the road singing about the confidence that my mom piped up, "Oh, by the way, Bella came over looking for you earlier."

Shit. Bella!

Honestly, there are too many people I have to ensure are okay in this place.

"She looked quite worried," My mom frowned, "Though she was okay once I told her you were just at work. She asked if you could call her when you got home."

"Ah, I just left earlier than her yesterday, I was really tired. She's maybe just checking how I am." I pushed past the conversation, putting it on my mental list of things to do before the night was out.

It was only after we had finished our movie and were tidying up that I noticed Bella pacing to and fro past her bedroom window.

"Hey, I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay." Mom smiled, continuing what she was doing.

I exited the house into the cool night air, arms crossed across my chest. Stepping down and closer to the road separating our houses, I raised a hand waving, trying to get her attention.

It took a few minutes before I managed to break her from her thoughts, brown hair whipping across her face as she rushed to the window, confirming it was in fact me she was seeing.

I smiled.

Moments later she had rushed down the stairs and out the door, hesitating as she approached me.

"Hi." I said, as she stopped, "You okay there kid?"

Her lip trembled and she threw her arms around me, giving me a fierce hug.

I returned it, and that's how we stood for a while, not saying anything, but we didn't need to. The gesture spoke for itself.

You're here and safe. And that's all I need right now.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-Nine- Before We Get Much Older

The exodus is here

The happy ones are near

Let's get together

Before we get much older.

Baba O'Riley, The Who

"Stay still!" I hissed at Bella, whose nose was scrunched up in annoyance.

"I hate this!" She said in reply.

"Yes, you've mentioned it once or twice." I rolled my eyes.

"Why am I even here?" She demanded as I continued to apply eyeshadow with extreme concentration, shifting on my seat.

"Now, now Bella," Alice tutted, eyes firmly on the dresses before her, trying to decide which to choose., "All will be revealed soon."

I snickered at the unsatisfied look on Bella's face.

If I had been whisked away one day, to be made over for a secret occasion, I would love it.

Bella, not so much.

She was very opposed to the notion of prom, so of course, we all conspired to make sure she went. Even Edward was going along with it.

"Done," I said, leaning back to admire my work.

"Here," Alice shooed Bella into the bathroom to change into the beautiful blue dress she had decided on.

"Good choice." I approved, snickering at Bella stomping away, giving us both deathly looks.

It had been a strange couple of weeks.

My would-be killers occasionally haunted my dreams, the events of that night lingering in my mind, but I was doing my best to move forward, thankful that I had a good mix of human and supernatural company to keep me on the right track.

My wounds had healed up well, leaving almost no remnant behind that they were there at all.

Esme insisted on me taking my time easing into my new job despite my protests, insisting that she didn't want me to pull a stitch. I was unsure of how I could do that when sitting down with a pencil in my hand, but it was hard to argue with Esme who had been watching me like I was a delicate vase about to break.

After hearing of my successful career change, my friends (the human ones) insisted on a night to celebrate, so of course, so I wouldn't feel left out, I picked the night everyone else would be a way to prom.

It felt very strange knowing that my boyfriend was going to prom without me.

It felt very strange to say I had a boyfriend.

I needed to make sure I didn't drink too much tonight, because oh boy, I did not need to end up saying something stupid.

I swung around on my chair, "Come on Isabella, let's see."

Bella huffed, coming back into the room, "Don't call me that."

I sat back grinning, "Well look at you! How pretty."

Alice squealed, clapping, "Oh, it's perfect!" She rushed toward Bella, fixing this and that, beaming despite Bella's dark look.

"God Bella, smile why don't you." I grinned, swinging in my chair, "It's going to be a magical night."

Bella was looking over her outfit in the mirror as Alice fixed stray hairs that fell from the bun I had styled earlier. While she was distracted, I slipped my phone from my pocket and took a few quick shots of Bella's finished look, knowing she would never pose for me if her life depended on it.

I sent them to my mother, ensuring she would show them to Charlie, who had been the one to give me the mission, and I obliged, wanting to give him his proud dad moment.

"Okay!" Alice declared, "Ready to go!"

I stood from my seat, opening the door and bowing like a butler, "After you ma'am."

Bella scowled, "I hate you."

"Love you too."

"Hurry up!" Alice said, "Edward is waiting!"

"Edward?" Ah, so that got her attention. "Where is he?"

"Downstairs," That moved Bella out the door, Alice and I shared a look as we followed after her, walking slower than usual to give the two love birds a moment.

By the time we made it to the top of the stairs, Edward and Bella stood below us, gushing over each other.

I mimicked vomiting, and Edward sent me a wicked grin.

"Go on then," I shooed them on. When Bella's back was turned, I mouthed to Edward 'TAKE PICTURES'. I couldn't tell if the shake of his head was an agreement or not.

"Have fun!" Alice beamed, before hurrying back to her room, presumably to throw on her own outfit.

Once the couple was gone, I made my way down to the garage where the others were waiting.

"You know," I started, taking them and all their flawless attractiveness in, "I didn't know it was a vampire past time to constantly attend prom."

"You're just jealous because you can't come," Rosalie said, touching up her lipstick in the car window.

"I deny that assessment."

Jasper cuddled me to his side, "Is she wrong though?"

"God Jaz, whose side are you on?" I asked offended

"You should be jealous," Emmett grinned, "you're going to miss out on our dancing. It's pretty immense."

I pouted, irritated that I would miss out on the opportunity to see both Emmett and Jasper dance. I huffed, "Whatever. You all enjoy your silly high school dance, I'll go out with the real adults and have a brilliant drunken time."

"Don't worry," Rose rolled her eyes, turning to me amused, "the last time you were drunk has been imprinted in my brain."

"Good to hear I'm so unforgettable."

"Uh-huh."

Jasper leaned in close to my ear and whispered with a smirk, "I hope you'll not have too much of a good time without me."

I shivered at the breath on my neck, "I'm sure I'll be sobbing into my drink by the end of the night with how much I'll be missing you. Maybe I'll crash the local prom just so I could whisk you away and have you all to myself," I bit my lip, trying to smother a grin.

"Ugh!" We both turned to see the absolute disgust on Rose's face, and Emmett's eyebrows wiggling suggestively. "Alice!" Rose snapped, "hurry up!"

"Calm down," Alice appeared, "I'm here aren't I?"

"Well don't you all just look annoyingly amazing," I snapped a few photos with Rosalie's camera at her insistence.

I sighed dramatically, giving Jasper a quick kiss on the cheek, "Stay safe kids, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That's quite a big area to work with, considering the shit you get up to."

"Shut up Emmett."

It was strange spending an evening without Jasper. We had very rarely been separated for long since that night, my jumpy nature and nightmares keeping me awake at times, and his fear of letting me out of his sight outweighing his usually sensible thought process.

It was good though I think, a good step toward normality.

Still totally ignoring the whole, 'I have super healing' thing. But one thing at a time.

"Thank you." I chirped grinning, taking my drink from the bar and moving back to the high table our party was situated at.

I sat down on one of the stools, taking a sip, "What'd I miss?"

Joe and Addy turned to me. Addy spoke up, "Joseph was just telling me about a lady he met on a night out in Port Angeles."

"Oh?" I leaned forward eagerly, "A lady you say? Was she pretty?" I asked teasing.

Joe shook his head, blushing and bashful, "Yes, she was pretty."

Addy and I oohed, enjoying the embarrassment clear on Joe's face.

"And things went well? You gonna see her again?" I asked.

Joe took a mouthful of his beer, "Well… I hope so. She said, 'see you soon.'"

"...And?" I asked leaning forward.

"Oh!" Addy laughed, "That's the best bit! He didn't even get her name or her number! But it's obviously meant to be."

"Shut up!" Joe hissed. "Let me pretend I have some small chance with a beautiful woman." He pouted into his beer. "Besides, you've no more luck with women than me." He titled the bottle toward Addy who scowled.

"I resent that. I'm just not desperate for a woman's love like you."

"God you two, stop the pissing contest," Aaron said from across the table, arm thrown over Grace's shoulders, "you're both desperate, it seeps off you like woman repellant."

"Shut up Aaron!"

"Keep out of this!"

I laughed into my drink, sharing an amused look with Grace.

I smiled fondly at the couple across from me, the happiness radiating off of them naturally, actions showing their love, no words needed.

I wondered then if that's what Jasper and I were like. We were like shy teenagers when we whispered the words to each other, but made up for it in our touch.

I blushed, glad the dim lights and alcohol hid it from the others.

"Clear the table!" Kate sang as she approached with a tray. My stomach churned as I took in the shots which sat atop it.

"Oh god."

Remember to drink lots of water Clara.

We each took our shot in hand, and clinked them together.

"To Clara!" Kate announced, "To bigger and better things, girl. Congrats on your future."

We all cheered to that, and I was almost thankful for the burn in my throat as the alcohol went down.

It gave me an excuse for the tears that threatened to fall, Kate's words meaning more to me than she would know.

My future was something I almost lost, and here and now, surrounded by my friends, music and a lively atmosphere surrounding us, I was thankful I had it all to look forward to.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

The rest of the night was full of dancing and laughter, and when I got home that night, warm-cheeked and tipsy, Jasper was waiting for me with that handsome amused smile that sent butterflies straight to my stomach. He laughed as I told him how lucky I was to have him, to know him, the words came easier with a bit of liquid courage.

The nightmares stayed away that night in the arms of the man I was in love with.

It was the next day when my hangover was rife within my body, bowl clutched to my chest and hair like a bird's nest that our parents decided to sit us down.

Bella sat beside me on our sofa and my mom and Charlie sat across from us, a nervous buzz about them.

"Oh Christ," I mumbled, pulling my hood up over my head, "I'm too ill for this."

"Are they..?" Bella murmured and leaned toward me.

"Yep."

She groaned.

"So, girls." My mom started, looking briefly at Charlie, who looked very content to let Sally do all the talking, "We just wanted to let you know that Charlie and I have officially decided to… well… date!" My mom beamed, grabbing Charlie's hand.

I sunk lower into the sofa and Bella hid behind her hands, cheeks red.

Charlie looked very awkward indeed, it was almost amusing.

"Yes, mother." I rolled my eyes, "We know."

"What do you mean you know?" Charlie asked.

"God dad, you were so obvious!" Bella spluttered, "We knew ages ago. You both go on dates all the time!" Our parents looked so oblivious to these facts. Bella gagged, "I can't believe I just said my dad goes on dates."

I offered the bowl to her, "Bucket?"

She laughed, shaking her head.

I rolled my eyes, "Listen, we're very happy for you both. It's very sweet and we've bonded over our single-parent families. It's been very obvious you two have the hots for each other-"

"Dude-!"

Ignoring Bella, I continued, "And Bella and I already talked about the fact that we're both good with it. Go be happy you crazy kids. Now can we wrap this up? Because I'm pretty sure I can feel last night's Vodka rising as we speak and I really don't think that's something you all want to see."

"You're so gross sometimes." Bella wrinkled her nose, eyebrow raised in amusement.

"I know, it's a gift," I drawled.

Another reason I wanted this to hurry up was so I could cuddle back up to my Vampire boyfriend who awaited me up the stairs.

I kept that bit to myself though.

"Well… Great." Charlie put his hands on his hips, relieved that he didn't need to talk about such an awkward subject for much longer, "Good talk."

I sent him a thumbs up, and my mom shook her head at me, but the smile told me she couldn't be annoyed.

"Okay, cool. Bella, Charlie." I nodded, standing up, "See you lot later."

"Hold on!" My mom stopped me, and I fell back into my seat, "I have a little surprised for you."

Her eager smile had me curious, "Yes?"

"Well… Your birthday is coming up soon and we wanted to have a little party, and invite, well everyone."

"Nice! That sounds great!" I smiled. I had forgotten it would soon be July and I'd be twenty-four. Crazy how different life was for me compared to a year ago.

"Yes.. well," My mom was practically buzzing with excitement, "A certain someone has recently come back home, and that certain someone said she'll be coming to Forks for your birthday."

I looked at her for a minute cogs turning in my head. Then I gasped.

"No way!" I sat up, "Auntie Rachel is back!"

She nodded enthusiastically, and I bounced in my seat.

Bella and Charlie shared a confused shoulder shrug, but I was too excited to notice.

Oh my God.

I hadn't seen my Auntie Rachel for years. She used to visit when I was staying with my other aunt in Alberta, but that was rare as she was always on the go and travelling.

She was the youngest of my dad's siblings, with my dad, Richard, being the oldest, then there was his sister Natalie, who was the one I lived with during the time my high school years.

I love my aunt Nat, but Rachel was always secretly my favourite. Maybe that was because Nat had to mother me, whilst Rachel would appear, telling me exciting stories and watching horror movies together, before rushing off for more adventuring. I know my dad's death hit her hard, and it seemed like she wanted to get away from it all, pretend it wasn't happening.

The elusiveness of her lifestyle was intoxicating. Perhaps if things hadn't been so good here in Forks I would have followed suit. But that younger me that wanted to escape reality was gone, and I was finally content. Had a purpose.

Still… I couldn't help my excitement at seeing Auntie Rachel again. God only knows what she's been up to during all these years...

Jasper's fingers ran over my healed side as we talked over the previous night's events, a very light scar was all that was left. I giggled through my mother and Charlie's awkward announcement and the return of my Aunt. His fingers continued their movement as we lulled into a comfortable silence.

It was then that I remembered something.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask…" I twisted my mouth as he watched me curiously.

"Yes?"

"Well, it's just something that… Well… Why did James refer to you as the scarred one?"

I knew the name and the reminder would cause Jasper to tense up, but I wanted to know, the curiosity killing me.

The silence that followed made me nervous and I began to backtrack, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…"

"No." He said, sitting up and back, watching me carefully, "It isn't that. I just… I don't want to frighten you."

"What do you mean?" I shook my head.

"I told you before that I had been a part of an army of sorts."

"The Vampire one?"

"Yes." He took a hold of my hand lightly, "Well, as with most fighting in a war, I ended up with scars. It can be difficult for humans to make out.

He reached over, and turned on the lamp by my bedside, adjusting it so it would shine in our direction.

Taking my hand again, he flipped his hand so his palm was facing up, and slid my fingers down his arms.

"Do you see them?"

I looked closely, narrowing my eyes. It took me a moment, but there right on the top of the perfect marble skin, were teeth marks. And not just one set, but many. They seemed to litter the landscape of his arm. And they were only the ones I could make out.

I could feel his burning gaze on my face, waiting for me to say something.

I looked up at him, my fingers not leaving their place on his skin.

My distressed look must have worried him, his eyes shining with sadness, a shame. "They're ugly I know. A constant reminder of what I was. I'm sorry-"

He watched surprised as I brought his arm up and kissed over the scar gently. Then on another… and another and another, hoping the action would say what I felt.

Seeing the stunned look, I decided to make it clearer.

Smiling softly, I reached a hand up and pushed the hair back from Jasper's face, "If you think some scars, would make me think you were any less beautiful, then you are a silly, silly man."

A moment. Then he shook his head, suppressing a pleased grin. The air around us filled with warmth, his happiness and relief, radiated throughout the room.

"Besides…" I teased, "We're almost matching," I tapped my measly single mark.

He shook his head, "You're impossible."

"Impossibly charming?"

"Uh-huh." He flicked a piece of my bird's nest hair.

I grinned, settling back into Jasper's hold, my fingers automatically brushing over the area of his hidden history.

"You know," Jasper mused, "There's no way Alice hasn't caught wind of your birthday party. She's going to be knee-deep in the planning, you do realise that."

I cringed, "Yeah I gathered that would probably happen. My mom seems to like her anyway, I'm sure they'll get on like a house on fire."

"Alice tends to have that effect on people."

I hummed, "Do you think Rose will come."

Jasper titled his head, "Yeah. She wouldn't pass up an opportunity to dress up and show off." He lifted one side of his mouth, "...Oh and I suppose she likes you too."

"Jeez, thanks," I said dryly. Biting my lip, I couldn't suppress a laugh.

"What?"

"Just thinking about everyone in the one house together. My family, your family, Charlie and Bella, my friends… It is going to be so chaotic."

Jasper groaned, burying his face in my neck, "Sounds like one too many social interactions."

"Oh shush," I patted his cheek lovingly, "All you have to do is stand there and look pretty. Let Alice do all the talking."

I squeaked as Jasper pushed me backwards beneath him, "But I'm going to have to pretend we're just friends. Barely friends really."

"Oh, how tragic! However, will we cope for one night!" I put a hand to my forehead dramatically, giggling as he poked my sides.

"I don't think I will." He brought his face closer to mine, "...unless I get a lot of love beforehand."

"It's like two months away!"

"So close! We best get started then." He grinned wolfishly, leaned down and captured my lips in his, my hands coming up to cup his face, more than happy to engage in his needs.

Forks had so many little secrets hidden in plain sight, guarded and perfect quiet little place, so undisturbed.

What Forks wasn't expecting was for Clara Miller to come crashing onto the scene to shake things up.

And I had no doubt if the last few months were anything to go by, that this was only the beginning.

The next big event to deal with was my twenty-fourth birthday party. It will be a night to remember I'm sure.

Bring it on.

THE END

Chapter Text

Hey everyone! So, it's finally finished! It's been a few years in the making, but we made it. This is the first story I've ever completed, and while I know it's not perfect, I'm super happy with it. I've had so much fun writing about Clara, Jasper, Alice and everyone else! The reception has been amazing and I honestly never expected so many people to follow along with the story!

Initially, I had planned on 30 Chapters, but it just felt right to end it here one chapter early rather than drag it out. All the threads I wanted to tie up were done, and little seeds for the next story have been planted and set up.

Of course, Clara will be back with the next instalment, covering New Moon and I am very excited to get the story started.

As well as the sequel to Van Helsing Who? I have been planning a Harry Potter fanfiction which will be a Sirius Black/OC story. So if that interests you, keep an eye out for that!

I'm going to take a little break so I can finish plotting out both stories properly which will hopefully help me keep to a relatively quick upload schedule. I'm also going to try and go back and fix up any mistakes in the chapters of VHW? in between it all.

Thank you so much to everyone who has joined me throughout this journey, whether you've been here since the beginning or more recently. I hope you have all enjoyed reading about Clara and I look forward to sharing more stories with you soon!

Have a good one!

-ANapSG