Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jade wakes up staring at her ceiling.

She knows it’s her ceiling. The one in her room. Her room. The room she grew up in, lived in, worked in, for the first 13 years of her life. She knows it’s her room because it has cute little glow-in-the-dark squiddle stickers she distinctly remembers putting up on the canopy on her 12th birthday, with flower pots hung from the rafters, filled with petunias and morning glory and some other flower she can’t be assed to figure out the name of. She’s spent more time here than she knows how to quantify, had been the one to decorate and desecrate every inch of it.

That’s the thing. It shouldn’t be her room. Her room had blown up when she was 13.

Most of the earth had.

Slowly, she moves to sit up. Her body does well to fight against her, head spinning in disagreement and entire body burning and sore. The air feels electric. Heavy. It’s the sort of heavy that comes when a storm haunts the coast. Her house had always been safe from them, built to stand far worse despite its shape. 

“Bec?” She calls out, looking around. Then, again, softer this time, “Becquerel?”

And. There’s nothing. No tell-tale flash of electricity, no iron to her tongue. There’s no warmth to her side. The cotton of her bed feels cold and clean, and the air remains as heavy as it started. Not that he’d always came when called, but he knew when it was important to. She liked to think now would be important.

She reaches up to touch her hair, and finds an ear there instead.

Okay. Doggy-eared still. So no Bec. She’s alone. The silence feels like white noise, popping in her ears.

She reaches over to grab her lunchtop, mindlessless touching around her bed for it. She finds it where she normally kept it; tucked away carefully beside her head.

Like nothing had changed. Like the world was in order. She gives a small groan as the room around her lights up in a series of colorful holographs, the light of it burning her eyes and worsening her already painful headache. 

“Fuck,” She whispers, and reaches up to block her eyes with her hand.

There’s already a new message board, a memo opened, sent to her by Dave.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

TG: good morning sleeping beauty
TG: its morning for you right?
TG: probably like
TG: 3 pm or something totally reasonable like that
TG: actually ill cut the shit i know exactly what time it is where you are
TG: id say damn girl you dont normally sleep in like this but thats a pile of fat fucking bullshit and we both know it
TG: if anything this is like cutting back to the classics
TG: me pestering you
TG: you sound asleep dancing with sugar plum fairies and chess pieces
TG: shit hopefully in your bed but who knows
TG: look im gonna be quick
TG: things are getting a little fucking weird state-side
TG: dunno what it’s like over in guam but
TG: 
TG: click the banner
TG: join the memo
TG: k thx xoxo

Chapter Text

turntechGodhead [TG] AT 14:53 opened memo on board karkat’s shipping chart^2

gardenGnostic [GG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

TG: despite the fact that he woke up bleeding all over our floor like a badly done saw victim he refuses to go to the hospital
TG: made me stand there and help stitch him back up
TG: like don’t worry lil davie check it i can stab myself with a needle thirty times in a row don’t call an ambulance on my ass
TG: then he went and took something and immediately passed out on the futon
TG: didn’t even bother turning it into a bed
TG: his leg are like hanging off of it
TG: i dont even know what he fucking took mind you
TG: its probably just a shit ton of ibuprofen and acetaminphen but for all i fucking know he shot up on some combination of lsd and heroin and passed out
TG: and im not gonna fucking ask
TG: keep my brain knowledge sacred and pure thank you very fucking much just like one of those born again virgins
TG: so that when the houston goddamn police come around like what does your brother take i can be like fuck if i know dude was a dj they take all kinda weird shit
TG: anyway i think he might be dead again
TG: does anyone know how to get blood out of clothing
EB: ew
TG: yeah ‘ew’ is about the right word id use for that thank you egbert very cool
EB: its gross!
TT: To answer your question, hydrogen peroxide and cold water should take care of the worst of it.
TG: yeah that?
TG: that was me fucking with you
TG: i know how to get blood out of clothing rose what do i look like some dude that didn’t live with trolls for 3 years?
TT: One might even argue it had nothing to do with the trolls.
TG: hey look jades here we should talk about that instead
TT: Subtle.
GG: hey guys!!!
GG: please excuse what im about to say because i just woke up and everything is very loud and confusing!!
GG: but what the fuck!
TG: nah thats an apt way of putting that
TG: see jade was always the smart one lets stick with this line of thought
TG: what the fuck
TT: What the fuck indeed.
EB: at least the main group is here!
EB: hi jade!
GG: hi john!
GG: what the FUCK
EB: i don’t know i woke up like 30 minutes ago and it’s just been one thing after the other
EB: like my dads here again!!! but he was hurt really badly!
EB: i dont think he wants me to worry about it but it was really bad when he woke up
EB: i dont get nauseous easily anymore but theres a lot of blood
EB: like
EB: a lot of blood in our kitchen right now
EB: and its just kinda like
EB: ew…
TT: Similarly, my mother is here.
TT: Similarly, she is underplaying the extent of her injury.
TT: But I’m not dumb.
TT: We’re not dumb. We’ve seen far worse.
TT: I suppose, in a way, that is a comfort in itself. We’ve seen worse. She’s experienced worse. She will be fine, for the foreseeable future, but I…
TT: My mothers alive.
TG: yeah
TG: fuck
EB: nice memo name and banner btw
EB: im glad someone thought to do this because i totally would have been trying to message all three of you at the same time
EB: that would have just made the whole thing more confusing and drawn out
EB: honestly im more surprised you still have that drawing
EB: i think i accidentally deleted it two years into our trip
EB: i always kinda regretted that so i’m glad someone has it still
TG: ah hahahaha
TG: yeah dude are you kidding?
TG: it’s been my ishades wall paper and screensaver for three years and running
TG: A dude for either lenses
TG: karkat HATES it
TG: the dave and jade are my background and john and rose are my homescreen btw
TG: had to keep the pairings together yknow how it is
TT: Your dedication to the bit is truly admirable.
TG: yeah i know
TG: jade when we see karkat again expect at least one marriage proposal
TG: im talking flowers and a ring and getting on one knee alright
TG: if youre feeling it we can go full ceremony up here
TG: well be up on the mantle rose as our officiant
TT: I don’t believe I agreed to this.
TG: you gotta go along with it for me alright
TT: Alright.
TG: anyway well be up on the stand and shell be like “does anyone object to this marriage? speak now or forever hold your peace.”
TG: and john will leap up like OBJECTION!
EB: i also don’t think I agreed to this
TG: no
TG: fuck look john
TG: listen
TG: you've got to promise me something
EB: yeah?
TG: were never going to let Karkat live that stupid fucking grid down
TG: were going to be like 25 and on our death beds, more wrinkly then a goddamn raisin, more machine then person
TG: and we're going to turn and look at Karkat and go
TG: remember the time you said id fuck jade
TG: matrimonially
EB: well obviously
TG: exactly
TG: now go along with the bit for me
EB: okay yeah, no this has to haunt him to his grave
EB: to be fair i never said i wouldn’t do it just that i hadn’t agreed to it yet
TG: so you’ll do it?
EB: obviously! x2!!
EB: ruined weddings are TOP tier prankster gambit material
TG: yes.
EB: hell yes?
TG: hell fucking yes
EB: hell mother fucking yes!
TT: You still haven’t asked Jade if she’ll do it.
TG: nah she will
GG: yeah ill probably go along with it >:D
TG: yes
TG: yes
TG: god DAMN i missed you guys
TG: the moment karkat gets online I'm adding him to this chat
TG: terezi too actually but only if she doesnt bring vriska
TG: kanaya can come too I guess
TT: ....
TG: what?
TG: like only if you want her to obviously im not about to overstep or anything
TG: but she’d totally get a kick out of this
TG: source: dude trust me
TT: It’s not that.
TG: btw jade no offense to you ofc like we got the joke going but you’re still a total bombshell like at least a solid 10/10 but fucking with karkat takes top priority on this
TG: wait
TG: fuck
TG: I didnt have to clarify that did i
EB: oh my god
EB: dude
GG: you didnt no
GG: but im glad nothing has changed
TG: never mind ignore that
TG: cause like
TT: Hm.
TG: goddamn it
TT: Hold on, I'm deciding something...
EB: yeah?
TT: Yeah.
TT: .... Okay. Yes.
TT: I was deciding if it would be funnier to let Strider continue to dig his grave, which we are all in an unspoken immediate agreement that he would have done.
EB: yeah
GG: of course absolutely
TG: hey
TT: But no this is, in fact, a funnier course of action.
TT: So Jade, you are in fact a 10/10. A "complete bombshell" even.
EB: STOP
GG: oh!
GG: thanks but like more sincerely Rose!
GG: hehe
TG: what?
TG: wait why does rose get the sincere thanks
TG: that's not fair
GG: I like her more than you >:(
TT: This is factually untrue, but it's the thought that counts. Thank you Jade.
EB: would you guys PLEASE stop flirting with my SISTER in front of me
TT: Would you rather we flirt with you, John?
TG: what?
TG: what is this we shit hold up
TG: im not fucking flirting with John
TG: That would break like 80 bro code rules
TG: im a lot of things but i am not a breaker of the bro code
EB: THANK you dave
TT: That didn’t stop you when we were 13, but sure. Let us go with that.
EB: what?
TG: No.
TG: Stop.
TG: Look at my words Rose. This is how serious I am.
TG: Full capitalization, full punctuation.
TG: No bullshit. All Warning.
GG: you really did spend too much time with karkat, wow
GG: sorry that message just reeked of his influence
GG: NO. STOP. LOOK AT MY WORDS ROSE THIS IS HOW SERIOUS I AM. BLUH BLUH ):< B
TG: god dammit
TG: like
TG: you have no fucking idea
TT: They entertained each other like two cats we picked up from the pound for the sole purpose of entertaining each other, yes.
TT: But fine.
TT: John, do you want me to flirt with you?
TT: We can make Karkat’s shipping chart come true.
TT: Have that whispered by the outer gods.
TT: Spread across the whole of paradox space.
TT: John Egbert.
TT: You have beautiful eyes.
EB: oh no
EB: oh my god no no no no no
EB: jade make her stop.
GG: im entirely unbothered
GG: its honestly funnier to watch her mess with you
EB: no
EB: i stopped them from flirting with you! return the favor!
GG: but I didn't mind :(
GG: It’s funny when they flirt with me.
TT: Yes. And It’s funny to flirt with John.
TT: We simply come full circle.
TG: aren't you like a lesbian
TG: or something like that
TT: Well. Yes. Or something like that, I suppose.
TT: But you know what they say. Five dollars is five dollars, and the emotional equivalent of five dollars is bringing John Egbert to tears over even thought of touching a woman friends bosom
EB: you're a lesbian?!
GG: what a startling and unexpected development!!
EB: YEAH WHAT
GG: hehe x2 combo
EB: wait a minute
EB: you're also fucking with me aren't you
GG: yeah a little
GG: sorry john
GG: it was kind of obvious though
TT: Were we?
GG: you and kanaya?
TT: Yes.
GG: yeah on the platform
TT: Ah. Yeah.
EB: well soooooooorry I wasn't looking at them!
EB: I was looking at the giant door
EB: The giant glowing magical fucking door!
EB: That we then walked through!! To a new-old universe.
EB: Not questioning one of my good friends sexuality
EB: dave help me out here
TG: nah
TG: kinda taking a major l here dude
EB: agh!
EB: did everyone know but me?!
TG: well your first clue was that she was goth and from new york
EB: okay
EB: wait
EB: ugh
EB: god i hate when you make a good point
TG: which is all the time
EB: rolling my eyes at you
TT: We truly do have a lot of catching up to do.
TG: fucking great reunion
TG: were nailing this guys
GG: GO TEAM!!!
EB: oh my god
TG: where the fuck is Karkat anyway
TG: i guess this is probably the most sleep he's gotten in months but like come on don't leave a guy hanging
TT: uh.
TT: Dave?
TT: Perhaps it’s time we talk. I’m going to dm you.
TG: you don’t have to announce that y’know
TG: like you can just do that
TG: letting the harleybert duo know your all up in my business
TG: all
TT: Will you actually read me messages now or would you prefer Freudian analysis on whatever long winded and time consuming ramble you’re about to type before you do it?
TG: yeah sure
TG: the messages i guess
EB: so uh
EB: rose and kanaya huh
GG: yeah i thought it was super cute!
EB: a little weird but yeah
GG: weird because of the alien thing or weird because of the lesbian thing
EB: you know what were not going to talk about?
EB: that
EB: that right there jade thats what were not talking about
EB: but honestly good for her!
EB: to be honest the idea of dating rose was always really intimidating and kind of daunting so im glad i don’t have to do that
GG: i mean you never had to do that john!
GG: karkat was just being stupid
GG: you know how he could get sometimes
EB: yeah but you dated dave sprite for a while in the other timeline so i always just kinda assumed id have to fulfill the other end of the prophecy
EB: you know?
GG: yeah i… think i remember him mentioning that?
GG: or whatever part of him was in davepetasprite!
GG: and if I think really hard about it i feel like i might be able to get bits and pieces of that!
GG: its still really weird to think about though
EB: oh
EB: right i uh
EB: forgot about that
EB: sorry
GG: its not your fault john:(
GG: im just glad youre okay

- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum!-

TT: Fuck.
TT: Well there he goes.
EB: what?
EB: what's going on?
TT: I have informed him of the high probability that we.
TT: Uh.
TT: He has to consider the possibility that we may not get in contact with the trolls again.
TT: But I am not known to be the most sympathetic, and I am more than a little upset myself on the matter.
TT: So I may have butchered that conversation entirely.
EB: what????
EB: no we totally will!
EB: We have to be able to, right?
TT: The chances of us not being able to contact them are.. non-zero
TT: It's something I considered the moment I woke up.
TT: I attempted to contact Kanaya, of course. First thing I did. I’m hoping for the best but.
TT: The message didn’t go through.
TT: And I do not think Dave is dumb. I would rather confront him about this now then a month down the line.
TT: It needed to be said.
EB: uh
EB: fuck
EB: now that you mention it my messages to roxy aren't going through either
EB: like at all
TT: You… have her pesterchum?
EB: yeah it's a long story
EB: but its weird
EB: i still have her chumhandle but it says she doesn’t exist when i message her
TT: Well fuck.
GG: rose are you okay?
TT: I have had better days.
TT: There are more important things to focus on
GG: I don't really know if that's true though!
GG: you’re allowed to be upset about that
GG: This can wait, if you need it to.
GG: We know we’re okay, and it’s possible that the others might pop online if we wait.
GG: and all of our worrying will be for nothing!
GG: besides, if im being honest my head really, really hurts right now
GG: and dave obviously isnt going to be online for a while
TT: …
TT: I.
TT: May need to take you up on that offer.
TT: This was a nice momentary distraction, but if I can be very honest with you in a way that I am normally not as comfortable with.
TT: I am angry.
TT: And I am upset.
TT: And that is going to get in the way of how I’m thinking.
TT: The last time this happened turned out well for no one.
GG: I remember it VERY clearly! Yes!
TT: So I suppose that you're correct.
TT: This can wait.
TT: Thank you Jade.
TT: I'm going to go for a bit myself. I will message you in the future.
TT: My mother may need my assistance, even beyond that. I asked her to sleep, but she is stubborn.
EB: yeah
EB: im going to go check on dad
EB: and the uh
EB: the kitchen
GG: john?
EB: im okay!
EB: i should go clean it though
EB: for his sake
EB: im not going to make him clean that :/
GG: Right…
TT: … Before I go, however. Can I ask you something, Jade?
GG: yeah! Of course anything
TT: Is your grandfather alive?
GG: what?
TT: My mother, John’s father, and Dave’s brother are all alive, albeit far worse off than when they entered the game.
TT: However, John’s Nanna remains dead.
EB: yeah her ashes are gone and dads kiiiiiiiind of flipping out about it!
EB: but you know! Rose put it best!!
EB: we have WAY more important things to focus on
GG: uh
GG: i can certainly go look!

Pulling herself out of bed is like drenching herself in cold water.

It’s a shock to her system, mostly. One moment, she’s in bed. A little bit sore, a little confused. But the world around her makes sense, and there’s no fight to it. 

Pulling herself up requires pressing her hand to the edge of her bedframe, and steading herself in a way she’s unused to. She shuffles through her sylladex, letting the first computer she has access to filter out of it and onto her. It seems she still has her lunchmuffs, something that brushes awkwardly against the back of her ears (something that does NOT help her head, thank you very much!) but buzzes to life with the memo and works well enough for her purposes.

Then she bolts. Normally she takes the transportalizer, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Her atrium? Good as new, the flowers still in full bloom. The big game room has as many trophy’s as it normally does, and knights room remains filled with suits of armor. There’s the room full of mummies and the stupid blue beauties.

It’s all as it was before. Including the Typheus minion blocking the bottom floor transportalizer. (Fuck, didn’t John get rid of this one?) 

She peers into the Grand Foyer. It's as dark and cold as it always is.

She stares up at her Grandpa.

And he stares back, glass eyes baring down at her 

GG: hes still in the grand foyer
GG: yeah
TT: Hm…
TT: Well that’s one theory confirmed, then.
TT: Next order of business.
GG: Rose you said you’d go rest!
GG: And check on your mom :(
TT: No this is fast.
TT: And important.
TT: Do either of you feel any different?
EB: what?
EB: like what?
TT: As in… it doesn’t feel as though anything’s changed, does it?
TT: I woke up in my room.
TT: However I also woke up in my godtier clothing.
TT: Yet when I attempt to access my future sight, it’s all rather blurry.
EB: oh
EB: dur
EB: yeah i still have my god tier clothing too!
EB: let me try and do the windy thing!
TT: In your house? John.
EB: oh
EB: good point
GG: i can make that really easy!
GG: i still have bec’s ears on my head
GG: and he didn’t come when called :(
GG: not that he generally did he sort of came and went as he pleased
GG: but i feel like if he was still around he would come especially after all of that
TT: That… does make it easier.
TT: Can you resize anything? Teleport?
GG: uhhhhh

Jade steps back from her grandfather.

She attempts things in Rose’s order. 

The thing about godtier powers is that they had always sort of just come second nature to her. Like the reward for being stabbed through the heart and draped onto the stone mantel was immediate and intimate knowledge of her aspect. She knows it's not just her, and she knows further that it wasn't just dying that did it for them.

They were created for this life, afterall. The game was a series of dominos, and their destiny was greatness. She was created to manipulate the ends of space, to know and understand each atom as intimately as she understood herself. So, when she pauses. When she hesitates, staring at one of those elegant globes her grandfather had kept, it sort of freaks her out. Not immediately. But there's a wall there, something she can feel pressing against the back of her mind.

She takes a different approach. Raises her hand, and attempts to call the globe to her.

It... sort of works. She watches the way that the globe flickers in and out of reality. It's a truly perplexing feeling. A pendulum twitching inside and outside of time-space. She knows where it's supposed to be, and where she wants it to go, but there's pins and needles in her fingers, and an ache in her head. A ringing to her ears, as the world fights her on her order.

She stops. 

GG: I can float
GG: And I can maybe sort of resize some of this junk if you give me time to figure it out
GG: teleporting is inconclusive
GG: It’s like trying to pull teeth!!
GG: let me get back to you on that
TT: Yes. And if there's an update on my end I will do the same.
TT: John?
EB: I am attempting the windy thing.
EB: Conclusion?
EB: busted
TT: Damn.
EB: do you really think we won’t talk to them again?
EB: the trolls and our ecto buddies?
TT: Yes.
TT: I hope, more than anything, that I am not right.
TT: The universe has time to prove me wrong. As I’ve mentioned, my foresight into the future is acting up. This is an assumption. A very cruel, ugly assumption.
TT: But this game has proven time and time again that its sole purpose is to make a joke of our lives. I am assuming the worst, as that is the only hand it has consistently dealt us.
TT: I hope.
TT: That I am beyond fucking wrong.

– tentacleTherapist [TT] has left the memo! –
- turntechGodhead [TG] has left the memo!-

EB: … ouch
GG: you should go check on your dad, john
EB: yeah i am
EB: there’s not much i can really do though, he already called 911
EB: were going to the hospital so…
EB: im just glad he’s alive
EB: hey are you going to be okay?
GG: huh?
EB: you know
EB: on hell murder island
GG: i honestly didnt think about that
EB: oh
GG: ill be fine
GG: i survived the first 13 years of my life here, didn’t i?
EB: if you're sure
EB: if you need anything though, be sure to message us!
EB: well figure something out
GG: yeah of course
GG: and john?
EB: yeah?
GG: its nice talking to you again
EB: aw. you too jade.

– ectoBiologist [EB] has left the memo! –
– gardenGnostic [GG] has left the memo! –

Chapter Text

The first week is, on all accounts, quiet. For all of them.

Jade spends a while sleeping. She thinks anyone would, in her shoes. 

She doesn’t actually remember the last time she slept in her childhood bed. She’d mostly avoided the planets, after John’s had explored. Had spent her time on that golden ship, mapping out halls and counting by seconds. Nannasprite had been so kind, trying to offer her the occasional conversation. And really, she had tried to keep herself busy. But eventually exhaustion had become a normality, and she’d taken to wondering what everyone else was doing on a rock a universe away. 

She still wondered how that went. She’d only gotten bits and pieces on that platform. Dave had smiled and Karkat had rolled his eyes, and they’d each promised to tell her about it in the new world.

She doesn’t think it’s a good idea to bring it up now. So she doesn’t. Instead, Jade plays quiet tunes on her bass and records them for Dave, and he messages her back not even 12 hours later, 3 in the morning, with a remix of whatever she sent. And for a moment it’s almost like being 11 again, because they both refuse to mention whatever memories they may or may not have of being dead. Except Dave doesn’t punctuate them with rambles, and she carefully does not punctuate her’s with hearts or smileys, and she doesn’t mention she notices his silence and if he notices her hesitance he’s polite enough to offer her the same hand.

When cabin fever begins to take hold of her (and how quickly it does, the items in her home adding to the sense of claustrophobia and looming) she takes to exploring her island again.

Not that she doesn’t know it inside and out. The island isn’t that big, not really, and she’d spent most of her childhood chasing frogs and admiring lily-pads and finding the small bits of life her grandfather had yet to kill. She remembers letting little beetles creep about in her hands, trying to catch tadpoles in her cupped hands and chasing the small fish that gathered about the shores. 

She doesn’t do that, the first day. She likes to think herself a bit more mature than that! But she does swim. Strips herself of her clothes and sits on the lilypads and watches the way the water pulls her legs when she sits on the edge of them. She runs across what of the fields she can and clambers up the decimated ruins - Ones that once held purpose and still stand strong, and eats her lunch at the top of them. And she doesn’t have to, technically, because she can just as easily fly to them (And she did always so dearly love flying on the golden planet) but Bec isn’t here to stop her anymore, and really, the point isn’t to fly.

(She does break, eventually. Humors herself with a shiny green beetle she finds hanging onto a leaf, lets it clamber across her fingers.)

She skims her knee’s down by the ocean while looking for seashells. She’s carefully collecting them in the skirt of her godtier outfit, one hand holding it out to create a pocket of the excess fabric. She’s in knee high water, shoes are placed off in the grass, and stockings are folded neatly inside of them, and she trips on the jagged rocks that surround the small tide pools that the little sea critters tend to hide in. She watches the way blood clouds the water and dyes the sea foam, then follows down the cracks in her flesh when she stands. The salt water stings her wounds and cleans her skin, and the broken rocks proceed to cut into her feet, even with how carefully she pulls herself up.

She finds that all of her wounds heal over by the next day, the only proof of her tragedy being the shell’s she’d managed to save from the tides.

The plane deliveries her a small carton of food and supplies on Friday, at exactly 12:00 on the dot, just as it always has. She takes stock of the food, frowns at the steaks, mumbles to herself about the fertilizer. She makes note of the way the world seems to have turned without them. Her garden was as alive as it was on the day she’d left, closet has her clothing from the game, the clothing she’d made when she grew out of her earlier clothing over the three years (Though, she’d truthfully just taken to resizing what she’d own, feeling the way the universe pulled at their seams and atoms bent under her command.)

But it also has a few pieces she doesn’t remember. Some fit to a body she no longer owns, some just the right size. She doesn’t know what to make of that. She tries to practice on the smaller pieces. A cute squiddles shirt, a blue skirt she doesn’t remember that ends at her knees. She tries to pull them apart as she used to, and her nerves burn and hands shake and she grits her teeth as the world fights her on her commands. Her hands stick to the position, and the clothing stick to their size, and she grits her teeth as she’s rewarded with a headache for her troubles.

At the start of the second week, a storm rolls in. 

It’s not the rainy season, if her glance at the calendar is anything to go by. And rain has never been of particular note to her. Her grandpa, if nothing else, knew how to build a home that would survive.

Still. She can’t help the anxious feeling that comes over her at the sight of it. She’s unsure of where it comes from. She’s never been scared of storms. Liked the rain, really. Used to go play in it for as long as she could, bouncing around in puddles and muddying her skirts, before Bec would come and find her and force her back into her room. Or before she’d fall asleep, crashed into a puddle, and wake up in her bed.

But she feels the electricity in the air. She feels the way the wind shakes her windows. The sort of humidity that rested against her skin, like she was swimming through it, and air that was as tangible as it was heavy. She closes the windows of her atrium and makes sure they’re locked, paces and floats and shivers when she sees lightning. 

And it frustrates her. She’s seen worse. Has felt the way fire burns her skin and blades pierce her chest. She’s seen the bodies of her friends, of Dave, collapse into the snow and stain the ground red with his blood. She’s been worse. She doesn’t remember the timeline John came from, not entirely. But she remembers the anger and spite, tastes it on the back of her tongue like a bad memory.  So why the storm is what spikes her nerves where nothing else does, she’s unsure. 

Maybe it’s Bec. She never thought Bec scared of anything, growing up. He was a smart dog. Maybe he was scared of storms. She wouldn’t have known.

She still takes to the darkness of her room, despite that, wrapping herself up with a blanket she’d forgotten she’d owned until rather recently and popping on her headset. 

gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

GG: you remember when we were like 12 and we would all get together periodically and stream movies over your really, really shitty wifi? And how good sburbs wifi signal ended up being and maybe even still is?
GG: welllllll
GG: i was wondering if you had any movies lined up? :D
GG: hopefully within the immediate future and by future i mean next hour or so?
GG: please :)
EB: oh!!
EB: oh thank god
EB: everyone has been so moody since we got back, i was totally bracing myself for more bad news.
GG: that bad? :/
EB: you have no idea. :|
EB: actually you probably do.
GG: i mean….
GG: i don’t think it’s entirely unprecedented?
GG: it hurts loosing people you love
GG: and it’s harder to brush off now that were not waiting for something
GG: i mean obviously were hoping for the other pin to drop but i don’t know if
GG: you know
EB: i
EB: know yeah.
GG: … right
GG: sorry :( i guess i am in a bit of a mood myself.
GG: hence
GG: movies.
EB: AH
EB: YES.
EB: yes
EB: Okay that i can do
EB: now, Jade Harley, we have two whole options!
EB: option one; as it turns out, a TON of new movies came out over the last three years.
EB: can you believe it’s been three whole years??!
EB: on our way home from the hospital dad stopped by a red box and we got a TON of movies to watch together
EB: hes sleeping right now though so obviously were not doing that now
EB: but im sure he wouldnt be offended if we spared one or two
EB: and if they’re any good ill just rewatch them
GG: and if theyre bad?
EB: ill… probably still rewatch them just more begrudgingly
GG: lol
EB: we picked up like? One or two claymation movies you might like? That seems up your alley
EB: whatshisface
EB: TIM BURTON the legend how could I forget
GG: for shame
EB: for shame!
GG: and option two?
EB: we go back to the classics and marathon them, obviously.
EB: we’re talking face off
EB: were talking little monsters
EB: we are talking ferris buellers day off!!!!
GG: oooo.
GG: yes, all classics (according to johns very specific list of classics)
EB: hey
GG: i don’t think ive ever actually seen the last one
EB: it’s been a while since ive seen it! we NEGLECTED to get it on video before playing the game (how dare we) so i didn’t have access to it in the game :(
EB: maybe its good the earth did the whole respawn thing
EB: we lost so many movies to the astroid tragedy of 2009
GG: paying my respects as we speak
EB: hahaha
EB: BUT THEY’RE ALL BACK thats the important thing!
EB: we also have access to the breakfast club which is a classic but if you ask me is a little overrated.
EB: like its alright but there are just better movies you could watch
EB: its just a bunch of stuff happening :/
GG: i…. think thats what most movies are john
EB: huh?
GG: a bunch of stuff happening
EB: you know what i mean
GG: sure
GG: hm…
GG: you were meaning to show me conair at some point?
EB: what?
EB: dude that movie blows.
GG: … what?
EB: yeah we went over this
EB: it was an entire thing i think?
EB: we watched it together and i realized it was kinda a really bad fucking movie?
EB: then dave sprite was a bitch and faked one of my dads stern fatherly notes!
EB: and i went to scream in my driveway
EB: i still sort of want to scream in my driveway 10/10 stress relief jade
GG: haha?
EB: but i dont want to relive this
EB: man why did you bring that up?
EB: oh my god wait
EB: oh no
EB: no no
EB: this was from the other timeline wasnt it
EB: we didn’t have this conversation did we
GG: we didnt
GG: you were mostly uh
GG: dead i think
EB: DAMMIT
GG: but thats really sad john
EB: listen
EB: ah shit
GG: its really okay!! I think this is going to happen a lot
GG: I just wish I was able to be a bit more… helpful.
EB: you are helpful!
EB: youre here and not evil and dog possessed or dead
GG: i can say the same for you?
EB: AGH
GG: do you even still have those powers?
GG: like can you just be anywhere you want to be?
EB: can we like
EB: move on?
GG: you know?
GG: yeah
GG: please
EB: …. which brings us back to the last point
EB: new movie or old movie.
GG: ooooooooor!!!!
EB: were not watching fucking squiddles
GG: :(
EB: go talk to rose if that what you want to do
GG: :(
EB: no
EB: i will not be swayed by your frowns jade!
EB: that show is so weird!!! I swear everytime I watch it I get nightmares.
GG: it’s a kids cartoon john.
EB: there’s something wrong with it i just know it.
GG: okay okay then
GG: so, obviously we’re watching little monsters
EB: obviously.
GG: let me go ahead and grab my lunch top
GG: i want the big screen for this : D
EB: cool okay!
EB: ill figure out if 2012 offers us any NEW and INTERESTING ways to stream movie and videos
GG: hehe

Jade pulls her headphones off and stares at the window.

The light is a dim grey-blue. Rain has already begun to patters against it, little droplets making webs out of water on her window. She focuses on the sound of it.

She closes her eyes and lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and braces herself for the thunder to come.

Chapter Text

Dave updates Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff to pass the time.

It’s an ugly ass update, but in the way Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff tends to be. Bright red background that sort of hurts her eyes to look at for too long, too many jpg artifacts to actually see the comic sans, and she thinks she sees a mashing of orange and yellow somewhere in there. It looks like a rehashing of their group chat banner, recolored and abused and with a few more old panels copy pasted and distorted beyond recognition. She stares at it for a while, trying to decipher the joke out of it (She doesn’t know is there is one), and her mouse hovers over the comic long enough for the alt text to surprise her.

Terezi would have fuckin’ loved this shit, dog.

She sends him a screenshot of her favorite panel, only after adding a few jpg artifacts to worsen the quality. She also adds a pair of dog ears to Jeff in bright green ink.

She thinks he appreciates the effort.

    Jade, on the other hand, works on her garden to pass the time.

She thumbs out stones that dig into her calloused fingers, works without gloves and lets the worst of the weeds sting her. Dirt gets under her nails and dirties her hands like dried blood, dark and messy and a little too intrusive for the way her nails now curl and chip. She thinks of the way it stuck between her fingers, how red had painted her fingers and stuck against her lips and iron tasted on her tongue

She considers, immediately decides against, asking Rose to send her some nail polish to hide the sight. That night, she dreams of the smell of a smoking gun and snow stained red.

She scrolls through her old furry forums, catching up on people she vaguely remembers but never truly actually committed to caring all that much about. She, afterall, had people to love. Had a destiny to fulfill. Had a fate larger than life that was etched in the clouds against a golden planet.

She gets a twitter, and quickly decides not to use it.

She gets bored. Takes the time to fuss with some of the projects she’d apparently left behind on her work station table. She doesn’t put much time or heart into it. She makes a blanket fort using the posters of her bed, mostly to block out the sun, and sleeps in until 2 pm. She opens her window to let the spring breeze in. She sorts through the sea shells she found and considers making something of them.

She works on her garden.

– tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 03:36 A.M. –

TT: Hello Jade.
TT: I must admit, what I am about to do is selfish.
TT: The idea of approaching Strider on the matter is giving me sincere and uncontrollable heart palpitations. While he would normally be the one I find myself clambering for the judgement and ridicule of, I sincerely do not have the headspace to approach him through several layers of irony. Nor do I have the sense of mind to best him in ritualistic banter, nor hide my issues behind a facade of cynical arrogance and smug sarcasm.
TT: And while I trust it will not be taken lightly when I say I’d trust Jonathan Egbert with my life, I also do not believe this is a topic he is emotionally prepared to confront. Let alone mature enough to handle in a reasonable manner. I think he may sincerely have a meltdown, if anything else is added to his plate.
TT: Which is not to say you are my final choice, by any stretch of the means. I simply wish to paint a picture as to the severity of the matter I am bringing to you. I am looking for a sincere, heart felt conversation, in which I find myself to be uncharacteristically vulnerable in the DM's of a fellow friend.
TT: You have always been the most welcoming in these topics.
TT: Which one, perhaps more schooled in the fine and conflicting art of the cool and suave may consider ironic. Given you were raised by a dog.
TT: Admittedly, I am unused to being the one that needs to approach. You always did seem to just.. Know when you needed to talk to us.
TT: Even now, in my attempt to approach you about it, I find that I am defaulting to poetics rather than just “Getting to the goddamn point.”
TT: So I ask, with only the most sincere and heartfelt of vulnerabilities.
TT: Can you keep a secret?
TT: Perhaps one that must be held from our mutual beloved friend group?
GG: uh
GG: hi rose!
GG: i guess that depends
GG: what… is this about, exactly?
GG: because this sounds really serious and if it's about the game i dont know if it is something we should keep from john and dave
TT: It is serious.
TT: It is not about the game.
TT: It is entirely personal.
TT: It is as much a confessional as it is accountability.
TT: An entirely selfish request made out of desperation, and exhaustion.
GG: whats up?
TT: …
TT: Please give me a moment.
GG: i can do that!
GG: If it helps ill look away
TT: That may help, somehow.

Jade does, in fact, look away.

She busies herself with the stars. She’s out in the fields of her island gazing up at them when Rose messages her, attempting to pluck out constellations from the sky. She knows, perhaps too inanely, where each will be. It’s too early in the year for her to find Cancer, but she thinks Dave would be able to, and she makes note to tell him such. She settles for Leo, which twinkles just within her grasp. She can find Aquarius year round, but she really does not want to, and just to humor herself she finds the big dipper.

The stars reflect down onto the ocean beneath her island. It’s late spring, and the sky is clear. She considers moving some of her garden outside, to make the island look a little less dead. Maybe the morning glory would grow well out here. 

TT: I am going to trust you have actually looked away, though I would not blame you if you didn’t. It’s something of a silly request on my part, is it not?
TT: Very well.
TT: I have spent the better part of the last two weeks in various stages of tipsy, drunk, hungover, or a violent and uncomfortable mix of the three. Between myself and my mother, we have managed to go through roughly half her liquor stock in that timespan.
TT: Even now, I am horrible, undeniably hungover.
TT: To paint an even clearer picture for you, though not too grotesque, I am currently on my bathroom floor, my stomach contents thankfully emptier than they began.
TT: In my hubris, I had assumed that between her injury and her own intoxication that she would not notice, and I am messaging you because she has, in fact, noticed last night that her alcohol has disappeared faster than it could have possibly been consumed by her alone. Particularly given the amount of time she has spent either sleeping or on pain medication.
TT: Earlier this week, I stared down the bottles, despite knowing my prior propensity. I drank.
TT: Likewise, yesterday, I did the same. Despite knowing my mothers suspicions, and taking heed of her notice.
TT: I have stared down at the waterfall that runs outside my house and contemplated pouring the entirety of the rest of our store down it, and then breaking the bottles off our wall in the christening of a new era. Not unlike entering the game, I suppose.
TT: Alas.
TT: I love her dearly. That I will not deny. Certainly not after everything we have been through.
TT: But my mother remains as much a slave to her demons as I am mine. I imagine it would simply be replaced within the week.
TT: It is frustrating. I did not even fall to the sins of alcoholism in this timeline.
TT: I didn’t.
TT: I almost did. But I was better than that, this time around.
TT: Due to everyone but myself.
TT: But for as blurry as my future sight is, the past in many of my timelines remains clear.
TT: And anytime I am met with tragedy, intoxication remains to be my best fucking friend.
TT: The devil resides in all of us, I suppose.
TT: Admittedly, I have messaged you in an interim period
TT: After I am done puking my guts out, I will take a long shower. After which, I will attempt to take a long nap.
TT: It is my hope that, in messaging you, it throws some amount of strength into my self control. Peer pressure has never been a particularly strong motivator, as I succumb to my own egotism and vices.
TT: But…
TT: God fucking dammit. I don’t know anymore.
TT: Anything is better than nothing.
GG: oh
TT: Oh is an appropriate reaction to that confessional, I suppose.
GG: sorry
GG: I guess its not what i expected to hear
GG: let alone from you
GG: and im not really all that sure what to say
TT: There’s not much to say about it.
TT: And I admit that it is, perhaps, somewhat intrusive of me to approach you about this. Even beyond the fact it's been 3 years since we've had anything close to an emotional conversation, I do not believe we were ever particularly close.
TT: But at the same time, I suppose that is what makes you so much more approachable, on the matter.
TT: There's no judgement in my failures, and I do not believe I have failed any of your expectations. You're free to tell me if this is all a result of my own audacity.
GG: what?
TT: I... apologize. I am getting ahead of myself.
GG: no!! rose, you're fine
GG: im admittedly just a little lost!
GG: you dont think were close?
TT: Ah. Fuck.
TT: Yes, I'm seeing how that could have been rude.
TT: That was a bad choice in words.
GG: maybe :/
TT: I'm sorry.
TT: That is sincere.
GG: i believe you
TT: Okay

TT: Still. It's undeniable, is it not?
TT: With the precontext that I do consider you a dear friend, you were not the first one i would turn to for company let alone comfort.
TT: Rather.
TT: No. I do think you were always the best of us at comforting, rivaled only by John himself.
TT: And even I will not deny his insensitivities.
TT: But if you want an honest answer.
TT: If I’m to continue to allow my vulnerabilities to be fueled by my bile.
TT: You intimidated me, somewhat, when we were younger.
TT: I thought you could see the future. I was never quite sure what to do with that. It irritated me greatly.
GG: well
GG: i may not be someone schooled in the fine and conflicting art of the cool and suave, but rose
GG: i think that might be a little ironic!
TT: Truly.
GG: i… think I understand though
GG: i mean looking back on it i didn’t exactly make myself approachable, did i?
TT: You life was one extenuating circumstance after the next. I’ll try not to hold it against you.
GG: I guess.
TT: Now. This may be bold of me to point out.
TT: But is that resent I see on your tone?
GG: no its not!
GG: its just :/
GG: fuck. what else was i supposed to do?

Jade pulls herself up. She paces. She fumbles with the ends of her sleeves and stares at the screen.

GG: I waited my entire life to play that game
GG: i have more memories being on prospit then I have of my grandpa, because i spent most of my childhood asleep.
GG: I couldn't tell you guys about it, but that was fine. Because it was exciting!!
GG: everything was purpose built for us. things take time to fall into place, but eventually everything does. so i guess i never really minded too much, waiting for it.
GG: And then the game started and it was great! I got to see Dave, and John. I didn't get to see you but. I mean maybe it was for the best, considering.
TT: Considering.
GG: considering
TT: Yes.
GG: but daves bro died, your mom died, and John's dad died
GG: And then John died. And I was back to being alone. And it's selfish, because so many awful things happened.
GG: but i think the best day of my fucking life was playing that stupid fucking game
GG: so
GG: i don't know what to do from here
GG: ive never considered that there might be a here to get to
GG: it feels pointless to be here.
TT: ...
TT: I do not think that is selfish.
TT: I think that's fucking tragic.
GG: is it?
TT: Yes.
GG: oh
GG: i didn't know we were going to die
GG: if it means anything
TT: Monkey's paw continues to curl, sburb makes fools of us all.
TT: Try not to feel bad about it.
TT: Do you want my honest opinion?
GG: Yeah.
TT: Have you considered leaving the Pacific?
GG: it's crossed my mind
GG: i dont know how i would
GG: or where i would even go
TT: It may be worth considering further.
GG: maybe
TT: Hm.
TT: It's late for you, isn't it?
TT: And far too early for me.
TT: Let's talk about this later. I believe the shower calls for me. It's song is a cruel and unusual temptress.
GG: yeah
GG: i probably should try and get some sleep
TT: I'll be joining you shortly.
GG: OH
GG: rose before you go!
GG: Do you want to do a roleplay with me?
GG: not right now, of course. but later!!
TT: What?
GG: do you want to do a furry roleplay with me!
GG: when you wake up from your nap!!!
TT: These are three too many exclamation marks for my hangover, Jade.
TT: However, I will give you points for getting a laugh out of me, particularly in these trying times.
GG: im serious though!!
GG: i have been revisiting some old forums recently and looking at the characters I made when I was younger
GG: theyre kind of embarrassing actually
GG: i think i need to redesign them
GG: and you know
GG: normally i would ask dave to roleplay with me but he always wants to do it with a layer of irony and doesn’t put a lot of energy into it
GG: which is fine for when me and him doing it but not what i want to do right now!!
GG: john thinks the whole thing is silly and thinks all furries roleplays are weird sexual things :/
GG: and i trust your writing
GG: so you should roleplay with me
GG: they can be wizards
GG: i want to make wizard furries rose :)
TT: …
TT: I do still quite enjoy wizards.
GG: Even though you might be considered one?
TT: Seers are not wizards Jade.
TT: That is like calling a warlock a wizard. Completely different classifications of magic users.
TT: If anything the class of Mage would be considered closer to what a wizard is.
TT: We should play DND together, at some point, actually. We did it on the meteor to pass the time once and it went rather poorly.
TT: Terezi truly did her best for us.
GG: i take it it didn't go well?
TT: I'll leave your imagination to decide.
GG: hehe
GG: oh
GG: and Rose?
TT: Hm?
GG: i think were close
GG: so if you ever want to talk about this i really wouldnt mind!
GG: just for the future i guess
TT: … Right.
TT: Hm.
TT: Of course.
TT: Sleep well, Jade. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
GG: You too <3.

Chapter Text

It’s maybe 5 weeks when she manages to get something other than herself to float again.

Because sitting in her garden and staring down at the dirt and plants is beginning to make her head spin round on itself like a top, and there’s only so many trips down to the lagoon she can make before the weight of her inefficiency begins to play heavy on her mind. 

It’s a small thing. Just her squiddle, sitting opposite of her at the end of the bed. Lifting it causes her skin to burn with pins and needles, tracking up her arms and hitting just against her elbows. It causes the joints in her fingers to go stiff, then numbs her hands to the point she can’t feel them, accompanied by tremors and a thin, cold sweat. Her hair sticks to the back of her neck, and metal takes her tongue, and she doesn’t remember how to breath, despite knowing she needs to.

But she grins so wide that it hurts her mouth, and laughs so hard that the squiddle she's levitating falls on her face, and if there’s this ugly pinching sensation in her head for the rest of the day she does well to ignore it in her celebration.

She talks to Rose. They start their silly furry roleplay. She makes a wolf wizard because wolves remain to be super cool even after you’ve ended the world twice (she knows this because Dave agrees with her) and Rose makes a cat wizard because Rose likes cats more than she likes wizards. Jade makes her wolf black and green and Rose argues with her that wolves can’t be green and she argues back that “ GG: Well obviously not, but she’s a wizard wolf! She can be any color she wants to be." and that’s the end of that conversation. She does little doodles of their characters in the margins of the notes she’s gathering on her godtier powers when her hands aren’t aching, and links Rose to character creators on deviantart when they are. She struggles to find a name for her character. Rose does not.

Rose gets drunk four times that week rather than seven, and assures Jade that it’s an immediate improvement. Jade has no choice but to believe her. She acts a bit silly when she’s drunk, and Jade knows this because Rose calls her one night on skype and tries to ramble about whatever wikipedia article she read through on dream analysis, and Jade only understands half of it because Rose is too busy laughing over her words.

Jade worries.

She looks into flights to New York, and flips through her grandfather's assets, still as considerable as they were before she played the game. She remembers that, technically, she’s probably not a United States citizen. Thinks twice about it, realizes that she might not even have paperwork, and has never so much as seen a birth certificate. She doesn’t know how she’d get off her island. So she closes the flightlist, and does not tell Rose about it.

John's dad makes him go back to highschool around the time she figures out how to make multiple squiddles float around the room, as per reported in their group memo. 

EB: i guess it’s only like
EB: a few more weeks of school
EB: at least for this year?
EB: it kind of really sucks though
EB: what do i even talk to people about??
EB: hey guys do you want to hear about our ghost alien friends because i *totally* have a lot to say about my ghost alien friends
TT: I think you’ll figure it out eventually. You manage to make friends with the oddest of people, with the ease of a jock from one of your 80’s coming of age movies.
TT: Simply tell them about the sports, John.
EB: I don’t know about the sports rose!!!!!!!! i know about the vriska!
TG: nah man you cant lead in with vriska
TG: thats your first mistake never lead in with vriska
TG: you just have to tell them about the football or whatever
TG: the sports
TG: ay can we start capitalizing it like one of those pretentious words that demands your attention?
TG: like yknow how normal people capitalize Knight of Time or whatever
TG: Like that but with sports
TT: A proper noun?
TG: sure that thing
TG: like
TG: The Sports.
TT: The Sports.
GG: The Sports.
EB: The Sports!
EB: dammit you got me
GG: :) <3
EB: ugh
EB: but seriously what if i accidentally like eat a reeses cup at school or something and go into anaphylactic shock and end up god tier reviving in front of everyone
EB: do you think anaphylactic shock counts as a just death?
TT: How does one…. accidentally eat a reese's?
EB: listen. its surprisingly easy to do
TG: did godtiering not fix that
TG: are you a god with a peanut allergy?
TG: man thats so fucking funny
EB: dude
EB: shut the fuck up

John doesn’t seem entirely happy about it. But even beyond the fact that she’s never actually been to a highschool and can’t entirely empathize with the concept, she’s honestly not all that sure about how to approach him on these things anymore. She may have forgotten how. So she doesn’t try.

She dozes more than she sleeps, because she dreams in red rather than gold.

– turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 04:15 A.M.--
TG: jade
TG: i have got to introduce you to something incredible
TG: are you around?
TG: youre probably not around
TG: lord knows what youre doing on hell murder island but thats fine
TG: probably sleeping which is cool for you
TG: so I went out to get myself five guys
TG: important note for girls that grew up in guam and don't know: five guys is a burger place
TG: it is in fact *the* burger place
TG: I didnt in fact go looking for 5 random dudes out in the streets of houston texas
TG: can you imagine that?
TG: dave strider approaching randos on the streets of houston
TG: men and woman alike struck awe by his presence
TG: I bet I could take them
TG: the five guys
TG: uh
TG: in a fight
TG: in a fight okay?
TG: i swear to fucking god i met johns hot mom and got like 5x worse with doing that
TG: goddamn it
TG: no were not talking about the shit i say were immediately moving on okay
TG: anyway I went to get five guys because bro didn't get food and he's too drugged up to give a shit (yeah i know. *still* drugged out to oblivion. i think hes just using the wound thing as an excuse at this point) so he just threw me his card and told me to just buy whatever and like FUCK yeah I'm just gonna go get five guys
TG: that shits a luxury brand of greasy burgers
TG: the gucci of delicious shitty meat
TG: gucci is luxury right?
TG: like people throw that shit around like it means something and i dont think ive ever even seen a gucci
TG: that shit is mythic
TG: right anyway five guys the burger place and not the five random guys straight outta houston
TG: they had this fucking MACHINE
TG: And it just
TG: jade it's like the alchemiter of goddamn coke machines
TG: it's called a freestyle machine it’s the fucking fountain of youth but for coke
TG: jade
TG: actually do you even know what a coke machine is?
TG: like i know you grew up on an island in fuck all nowhere but tell me you know what a coke is
TG: you got like
TG: movies and shit
TG: and the beautiful world wide internet whos graces i will never take for granted again
TG: fuck i need to update my blog hold on
TG: anyway yeah you probably know what a coke machine is egdork subjects us to enough shitty 80’s movies to make up for your lack of socialization im sure of it
TG: but in case you dont know its like this machine
TG: that creates coke
TG: now that im talking out of my ass im realize i dont actually know the complexities about how a coke machine works either
TG: like do they just mix cokes like a trolls gooey slimy bucket slurry?
TG: no forget i said that line in particular
TG: fucking disgusting
GG: okay first of all you really have to stop making the guam joke its getting old fast :/
GG: second of all
GG: how... do you even know about that?
TG: goddamn it
TG: of course you come back now
GG: honestly i was here the whole time
GG: its just been a while since ive had a dave strider stream of consciousness hand delivered right into my dms!!
GG: it was a nice treat with my dinner
TG: aw fuck
TG: duped AND betrayed by jade goddamn harley of all people
GG: that was a compliment :/
GG: i like your stream of consciousness i think its silly
GG: besides, i think someones immediately avoiding my question mr!
TG: nah
TG: no avoidance necessary
TG: im chill as hell
TG: knowledge of the intricacies of weird alien mating rituals was just bestowed upon me via three years of living with them
TG: gonna animal planet documentary that shit right up
GG: :)
TG: get rid of that goddamn smiley and whatever dumb shit implications it brings right now
GG: :(
TG: aw fuck sad harley
TG: nah i change my mind you can bring her back around
TG: without the implications though
GG: :D !!!!!!
TG: yes just like that that right there is what i want
TG: seriously though the freestyle machine
TG: it doesn’t have any apple flavorings so obviously its not the most superior thing in the world
TG: but i made this weird cherry orange drink and it kinda tasted bomb as fuck
TG: and i was sitting there looking at it and thinking about our conversation from earlier this week
TG: first of all im never going to be able to take john to a five guys and thats depressing asf
GG: wait, why not??
TG: peanuts everywhere jade
TG: it’s almost like youve never been to a five guys wow
GG: right the super deadly peanut allergy hes going to accidentally activate in the middle of his school
GG: (rolling my eyes at him, hehe)
TG: yeah that thing hes absolutely going to do
TG: wait holy shit
TG: back that up
TG: why did you phrase it like that
GG: huh?
GG: like what?
TG: “activate his peanut allergy” holy shit
TG: like a robot?????
TG: like he’s a goddamn robot?
TG: are allergies like robots?
TG: you just activate them in the school hall to get out of class
GG: dave you had a second thing you wanted to say!!!
TG: shit right
TG: anyway second thing
TG: i have a new SBHJ comic idea i want to vet by you
TG: consider: Sweet Bro makes “spornks”
TG: SPORTS for TOOLS!
TG: and idk ill make some funny art with it
GG: wait
GG: hold on
GG: i have a concern about the continuity of your sbhj lore
GG: i think this might cause some inconsistencies
TG: what?
TG: no we cant have that
TG: gotta keep that shit locked tight
TG: keep the lore smoother than a babies butt
TG: thats a saying, right?
GG: yeah its something like that
TG: cool
TG: say more
GG: its already been established in strip #6 that sweet bro and hella jeff like sports
GG: so then why would they make SPORNKS
TG: for the irony of it obviously
GG: i had completely forgotten about the irony factor
GG: shame on me!
GG: WEW
GG: okay concern dissuaded!
TG: yeah thats why im creating your vetting obviously
GG: yeah this is funny then
GG: spornks
TG: yes
TG: fuck yes okay
TG: okay give me 15 minutes ill be right back
TG: get ready for a vip sbhj experience
GG: actually!
GG: dave wait since youre here
GG: i had something i wanted to ask you
TG: yeah?
TG: whats up
TG: ...
TG: uh
TG: earth to harley?
TG: can't just say shit and then disappear for 10 minutes
GG: don't be dramatic its been more like two
TG: i can feel the awkward energies just dripping through the text
TG: it's probably the radiation actually
TG: do you think you'll give us radiation poisoning eventually?
TG: that would suck
GG: honestly with how much uranium i had sitting around growing up it is a miracle i didnt get cancer!
GG: maybe bec had something to do with it?
GG: im not sure though :(
TG: well thats uncharacteristically morbid shit you just said there
TG: but hey you could be the elephants foot of weird god shit and wed still vibe no biggie
TG: seriously are you okay over there?
TG: it's not like you to go all
TG: tangential afk
GG: im fine
GG: i was just wondering if youve tried to time travel since getting out of the game
GG: but then i realized there was no smooth way to bring that up, haha
GG: so...
TG: thats it?
TG: shit you had me thinking someone died
TG: nah
GG: really?
TG: sometimes when I sneeze i think i skip ahead a few seconds
TG: does that count?
GG: not really
TG: then nah
TG: wasn't really big on the time travel thing even when we were in the game
TG: let alone now
TG: idk times all kinds of weird now
GG: is it?
TG: sort of?
TG: feels different
TG: kinda hard to explain if youre not a time guy though
TG: like
TG: temporal mechanics get all jostled around and shit and now its fucking with my head
TG: so im just trying not to think about it let alone do it
TG: besides
TG: if i fuck something up theres no easy way to get rid of dead daves
TG: i guess its better to be safe then sorry
GG: uh
TG: shit
TG: my turn to be the morbid one I guess
TG: dont know why I said that to you
GG: no it's fine
GG: you arent wrong...
GG: there were too many dead daves laying around the medium for my liking thats for sure!!
TG: agreed
GG: i think you left before we started talking about it but its kinda the same for everyone else?
GG: i don't know about space feeling different but its not really listening to me like it should
GG: its annoying
GG: i guess i was just hoping youd figured something out
GG: you always picked up on this stuff really fast
TG: i think youll figure it out
TG: probably sooner rather than later
TG: youre giving me like way too much credit here harley
TG: not that i dont appreciate the good dick stroking but i didnt exactly "figure out" my time travel shit so much as i stumbled ass first into a pot of onions and got my dumbass killed more times then either of us could count on our hands
TG: you figured out your space stuff immediately though so
GG: yeah but
GG: it was so easy back then
TG: like it was instinctual...
GG: yeah...
TG: yeah
TG: hows the dogtier side of things?
GG: huh?
TG: like we destroyed the green sun right?
TG: i think i remember something about that
TG: some kinda black hole
TG: do you still have access to those powers or what
GG: uh
GG: now that you mention it
GG: i... do? but the same way i have access to my space powers
GG: which is basically none at all
GG: and waaaay less omnipotence
GG: and waaaaaaaaay less energy :(
TG: yeah i can tell
GG: rude!
TG: nah not trying to be
TG: just an observation chill out
GG: hehe
GG: but yeah i can kinda make things flicker to me but not really
GG: im working on it
TG: guess thats more then ive been doing
TG: way too busy watching bro mope around the apartment to even consider that shit
TG: not much time to consider the time travel shit when you've got a grown ass man pissy he didnt stay dead and rotting
TG: at least i think thats his issue?
TG: we dont exactly
TG: yknow
TG: we don't talk outside the required bro-to-bro "what take out am i ordering" and "hey can i take the shitty swords out of the fridge yet" communications
GG: hm
TG: hm?
GG: yeah
GG: hm....
GG: so this is tangential but
GG: youve been... really hard on him recently
GG: your bro i mean
GG: did he say something to you when he got back?
TG: uh
TG: not really?
TG: like i said we dont fucking talk about things
TG: so its not really like that i think
GG: ???
TG: its kinda like
TG: i dunno
TG: i guess its just a bit harder to deal with his aloof puppet mind games then it used to be
TG: even when hes mildly fatally wounded
TG: its more the puppets then the mind games if im being entirely honest like
TG: yeah okay the shitty saw knock off mindgames?
TG: whatever
TG: dave strider can take care of himself for that no biggy
TG: but the puppets
TG: the fucking puppets jade i thought i never had to see those things again
TG: honestly im just considering throwing all those shitty things out and dealing with the repercussions whenever hes feeling well enough to dish it out
TG: ask forgiveness not permission whatever whatever
TG: or at least destroying the cameras
TG: those things also sketch me out ngl
GG: huh
TG: what now
GG: i just remembered something from the golden ship thats all
TG: well dont leave me hanging here
GG: well i wasn't going to say anything!!! it was a little depressing!!
TG: tough titties you gotta tell me things
TG: reason: im cool as fuck you think im sexy and i deserve to know things
GG: ugh
GG: no you're impossible and silly!!!
TG: no dont break my heart like this
TG: you think im cool
TG: tell me you think im cool
GG: .... yeah
GG: i do :)
TG: sunglasses
GG: did you seriously just type the words sunglasses to me????
TG: nah i text to speech them
TG: completely different
TG: now look at whos avoiding things
TG: come on harley ill send you a whole ass boondollar for your thoughts
GG: okay FINE
TG: yes
TG: i win
GG: so before davesprite died (yes died you dumb butt!!! thats the depressing part!!) he said something similar
TG: woah
TG: dude died?
GG: did I not tell you about that?
TG: no?
GG: yeah
GG: i... really dont want to think about it right now though
TG: thats cool
TG: just surprised is all
GG: anyway it was about all the dolls and cameras in the apartment
GG: we actually made plans to go toss them out into the lava on lohac with john but we never got around to doing that and they kind of just ended up sitting there (so sorry?? that might be my fault.)
GG: and I thought it was a little weird at the time but i guess this is just like? A universal dave consistency
TG: okay so
TG: dont apologize for that seriously
TG: and yeah we both got a braincell around the same time about the puppet thing
GG: i dont know he was pretty adamant about it
GG: like he kept mumbling about "that damn puppets laughter" and cursing under his breath the entire time we were in his apartment
GG: your apartment i guess?
GG: and you already mumble a lot to yourself
TG: counts for both
GG: right...
TG: man not to give him credit for things but he was right for that one
TG: cal was goddamn deranged
TG: when i tell you im **SO** glad that thing didnt come back with us you have got to believe me about it
GG: I do!!
GG: youre using asterisks and everything!!
GG: i didnt know you knew how to do that
TG: learned a lot of things on the meteor
GG: im learning many things about dave strider today!
GG: i guess its just a little sad
GG: i always thought your brother was pretty cool so its a little sad to hear you talk so much like that about him
TG: yeah i did too
TG: think he was cool i mean
TG: but idk
TG: you never had to live with him and i guess not living with him made me realize how much living with him sucks
GG: at least you have him back?
TG: i fucking guess you could consider that a good thing
GG: im... sorry?
TG: why?
GG: you just seem like youre getting a little frustrated over this
GG: thats all
TG: nah
TG: its cool
GG: :/
TG: hey do you want to just go back to talking about sbhj?
TG: that was like
TG: way cooler of a topic
TG: then this
GG: :/ :/ :/
TG: dont give me that look
GG: well
GG: if you dont want to talk about it we dont have to
GG: actually yeah
GG: lets just talk about sbhj
GG: ooooor
GG: oh oh OR!!
GG: if you want i can tell you about the furry roleplay im doing with rose!
TG: youre cheating on me with rose?
GG: without hesitation!
TG: cold
TG: actually more importantly
TG: you've been speaking to rose?
TG: shit
TG: im glad someone is
TG: shes been so flighty and broady recently that i thought she disappeared
TG: honestly its more likely shes just avoiding me or something idk
GG: what?
GG: why would she do that?
TG: beats me
TG: i even offered to let her analyze my dreams and she completely ghosted me
TG: it was a good one too it had troll dick in it
TG: it was like i was practically laying out the lalonde bait and she managed to avoid all the snares
TG: destroyed them with her weird and strange magics
TG: saw through them
GG: are these really bad puns?
TG: no
TG: would i do that?
GG: you wouldnt like the answer i have to that
TG: probably not
TG: anyway not to use you to play a shitty game of telephone but can you just? idk tell her to message me or something
TG: god
TG: wait let me figure out how to word that with three more layers of irony thats so goddamn embarrassing
TG: you dont have to do that ill figure something out
GG: aw
GG: no i think its cute that youre concerned about her!!
TG: ugh
TG: god
TG: no no no
TG: this is a hell of my own immediate making
GG: oh you big baby!! who do you think youre fooling
TG: myself
TG: mostly
GG: :o
TG: look just
TG: put a pin in that
TG: tell me about your furry roleplays
GG: !!!
GG: okay so were doing a wizard roleplay
TG: boring
TG: needs 90% more penis
GG: shut up its my turn to talk!!!!!
TG: alright then

They don't get much done, in the end. But generally they don't, so it's nothing particularly new.

Still... Jade can't help the concern that twists in her gut for it all. But that feeling isn't anything new. It haunts her, follows in her shadow and traces her steps.

She'll learn to live with it, just as she has everything else.

Chapter Text

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 04:07 A.M.!
GG: alright
GG: get the first error prompt out of the way for me

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:10 A.M.

GG: great!
GG: anyway i have an issue i need help with :/
GG: rather
GG: hm
GG: i guess something i need to work through with you
GG: so humor me okay
GG: actually
GG: maybe i should have started that with this
GG: i have been doing a lot of thinking
GG: i mean i did that a lot when i was on the ship
GG: i think the only thing i ever did when i was on the ship was think a lot
GG: i never wanted to be left alone with my own thoughts for that long ever again it is so horrible
GG: but i am somehow doing it a lot more here
GG: being left to my own thoughts
GG: ugh

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:15 A.M.

GG: we only knew eachother for a day didn't we?
GG: it was a really really long day
GG: but!!!
GG: it was a day!!
GG: And rose said something to me the other day i have been thinking a lot about
GG: that it is easier to talk to people you do not know as well
GG: right?
GG: and despite everything you were not
GG: completely iiiiirrational?
GG: no you were always pretty irrational even at your best
GG: it is what made you so funny to talk to! :)
GG: and frustrating
GG: mostly frustrating actually
GG: but you did have good judgment and dave really seems to trust you now
GG: and i really think i need that right now :/

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:20 A.M.

GG: i am really really tired
GG: i thought that getting my friends back would help but it feels like there is something wrong
GG: not even with them just
GG: with the way the world turns?
GG: i do not know how else to describe it
GG: and dave has mentioned that time feels wrong to him
GG: i trust his judgement on that
GG: space does not feel right either
GG: does that make sense?
GG: so i was thinking earlier
GG: you told me once a very long time ago that you gave our universe cancer
GG: and i think

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:25 A.M.

GG: would that stretch into our reward?
GG: cancer is genetic isnt it?
GG: maybe thats whats wrong
GG: maybe its down to the code of our universe
GG: we were never meant to have a prize and despite everything we did to break the game it came back around to screw us over in the end
GG: and that seems reasonable enough
GG: but then i find myself thinking maybe that
GG: no
GG: i cant put that blame on you
GG: and you should never have put that blame on yourself!!!
GG: we all kind of fucked up our game
GG: didn’t we
GG: besides

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:30 A.M.

GG: we are still godtier are we not?
GG: if the reward was truly busted it would... probably take that away entirely?
GG: i do not know though! sburb has done stranger things!!!!!!
GG: but that brings us back around to the universe being wrong
GG: the main problem right now is that the scope of my information is incredibly limited!!
GG: john is busy with school and i
GG: do not know how to talk to him these days
GG: dave does not want to talk about time travel!
GG: he acts like he is humoring me but it is obvious to anyone with eyes that the topic makes him uncomfortable
GG: and rose seems so upset recently i would not even know where to begin to talk to her about this

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:35 A.M.

GG: though i do think she would be more willing to talk about it then dave is
GG: she always seemed to know a lot about the innerworkings of the game
GG: i wonder if you ever told her more then you told me
GG: about messing up the genetic sequence of bilious slick?
GG: probably not
GG: you two did not seem to be very close
GG: but maybe kanaya talked to her about it...?
GG: i do not actually know if kanaya ever contemplated that to the degree you seemed to!
GG: maybe i should talk to her about it
GG: rose
GG: not kanaya
GG: i wish i could talk to kanaya about it

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:40 A.M.

GG: oh my god shut UP
GG: errorcode THIS ping failure THAT shove your errorcode 532 up my ASS
GG: we are trying to have a private fucking conversation here and you are giving me a huge fucking headache!!!
GG: me with
GG: myself
GG: oh
GG: oh god now im becoming like you
GG: i can never let dave know about this
GG: though if you got online right now you totally could tell him for me
GG: it would be really funny i promise!!
GG: ....
GG: ugh
GG: yeah i did not actually think that would work
GG: i should probably just turn developer-mode off of my pesterchum app at this rate huh
GG: maybe if i fuss with the settings a bit more...
GG: hm :/
GG: honestly im a little scared if i mess with it anymore its going to disconnect me from the terminal again
GG: maybe i can find a way to get rid of the error code though....
GG: or at least space them out further
GG: i will mess with it after my headache goes away!

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Server time: 04:45 A.M.

GG: hold on i am actually going to get something to eat
GG: maybe that will help

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:50 A.M.

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 04:55 A.M.

Administrator Note: Error Code 532. User could not be found in the system!
Error Details: pingfailure_SERVER_DOWN: The target server failed to respond. Please try re-authenticating and reconnect to server.
Error timed out: 05:00 A.M.

GG: wait
GG: wait wait wait okay shut up
GG: maybe its not about genetics *at all*
GG: so
GG: okay fuck
GG: starting from the top
GG: the universe is a *frog*
GG: and this isn't technically our universe!!
GG: if we came out of the game and were spat right back out to where we started would this not make it your universe
GG: maybe the frog... doesn't... respect us?
GG: i do not know if that is a thing a universe can do!
GG: but we are not in paradox space anymore
GG: the rules of paradox space were fundamentally different to that of our universe
GG: maybe our powers dont translate well or maybe
GG: maybe we are just not respected by the frog!!
GG: that actually sounds crazy
GG: but you know what?
GG: okay
GG: i can work with this
GG: i am going to go try and talk to rose about it
GG: eventually
GG: i think i should probably sleep first though huh
GG: and finish eating before i do that
GG: :) YES okay
GG: thank you for your help karkat <3
GG: talk to you when i talk to you

gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 05:04 A.M.!

Chapter Text

Before the season finally begins to cool, Jade is met with a final dog day.

Too hot to wander down to the lagoon, too muggy to get anything done, she lays with hair braided back, stripped right down to her underwear. The window propped open and lights turned off, and through It’s doing very little in the way of dissuading the heat the only thing worse than this is the idea of the air in the room going still. Like a bad soup.

Island living, she thinks to herself with an eyeroll.

She’s taken one of the box-fans from the atrium and hooked it up a few feet from her bed. In the same time-frame, she's strung up the shells she found with some of the iron wire she normally works into her grandpa’s machines and has hung them by the window like a windchime. The breeze, as it should, dutifully catches onto them. The shadow it casts across the floor looks like dancing.

It's too quiet in her room, and she doesn't know how to fix it.

gardenGnostic [GG] Started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:56!

GG: Do you think it is a boy frog or a girl frog?
TT: I’m… sorry?
GG: our universe
GG: er
GG: the one were living in i mean
GG: is it a boy frog or a girl fog
TT: I do not believe that the universe frog particularly cares one way or the other about abstract and societal constructs such as gender, but.
TT: I will humor you.
TT: Girl frog.
GG: why?
TT: eventually will bare fruit to a new universe
GG: male frogs can do that too
TT: What?
GG: yeah it is actually very interesting!
GG: Many frog species can go through a process known as “sex reversal” where it changes the sex of the frog and its this huge debate on whether or not it is natural or a result of chemicals and pollutants in the water
GG: but a lot of frogs are also inherent intersex by nature too
GG: it happens a lot with fish and reptiles too
TT: Huh.
TT: I suppose another point to our universe simply not caring about the abstract socio-cultural phenomena known as gender.
TT: I still vote female.
GG: oh?
TT: Just a feeling, I suppose.
TT: Like how ships are often women.
TT: Then again, I suppose a singular they could suffice for our universe.
TT: Though I must admit to my curiosity. Where exactly did this line of thinking come from?
GG: oh!
GG: i keep calling our universe an “it” in my head but that seems rather rude!
GG: if the universe is a frog it probably deserves a proper gender
TT: Hm.
TT: I suppose.
GG: ive been trying to change how im looking at the universe
GG: with paradox space being a factor and all that
GG: i wonder if it’s affecting us

It’s when daylight breaks for red-gold hues that she actually manages to convince Rose to call with her, because Rose is reasonable like that. It's a welcome reprieve from the white noise of the fan. And though she's taken to playing the beats Dave has sent her most recently, it's too artificial. Does little to help the way her skin crawls and nerves twist at the looming, ugly nothing her room otherwise offers.

Rose's voice, on the other hand, is a smooth, careful thing. It carries more of her emotion then Jade thinks she'd like, all thought and care and wonder twisted behind the inherent danger of her tone.

Jade wishes it was more familiar than it actually was.

“Hungover?” Jade asks, keeping her voice as tamed as possible. Because she doesn’t judge Rose for it. Does not think she could bring herself to. But she also knows enough about Rose to know that she’d take any amount of concern or hesitation as judgment.

“Hm. Somehow, despite lacking in any reasonable social sense or courtesy you still manage to mask your concern in such a way that it humors me,” She says, after a moment's pause. She hears a small huff of laughter from the other end of the line, and a cracking of a can, “No. I am not hung over today. And I will have you know, I’ve the grim and lowly soda known as ginger ale in my hand rather than an alcoholic beverage. Company in the form of carbonation, rather then poison. I am being what some may consider very mature and responsible, Miss Harley,” Her voice lowers to a coy coo, and Jade thinks she can imagine the look Rose is giving the camera. It’s a little goofy, honestly.

Jade nods even though Rose can’t see it.

“So,” Rose says, “What is it you could possibly want to talk to me about that couldn’t be done over pesterchum?”

“Well Rose,” Jade clicks her pen, and holds her notebook against her legs, “I want to talk about the game.”

Rose immediately falls silent. 

“Okay,” She says, when that skin crawling has just begun to return. Her tone has taken a different inflection, more serious, less fun. Jade doesn't know how she feels about that, “I suppose it is about time one of us talk to eachother about it. Though I would appreciate a bit more warning next time, before being cornered on call about it.”

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn't consider that,” Jade says, and it’s a slow musing of an agreement, “I’ve tried to talk to Dave, but. You know.”

“His passivity in the face of confrontation has always been and remains to be his downfall," Rose mutters, unimpressed.

“And John is-” She attempts to search for the words she’s looking for, but finds that they don’t come. She almost wishes Rose wasn’t as patient as she was. If she was talking to Dave, the silence would be enough to get under his skin, and he would search it for anything to talk about. But Rose doesn’t offer her the same reprieve, and Jade is forced to settle on, “We had two very different experiences, and he’s very good at reminding me of that.”

“Hm,” Rose’s hum is thick, and heavy, and it’s the sort of sound that tells Jade she’s needled a bit of information from her that Jade probably doesn’t want her to have. So Jade turns it around.

“You know, he… seems to be under the impression you’re avoiding him,” Jade says, and places her pen down.

“John?” Rose seems surprised, but Jade isn’t sure how much of it is show, and how much of it is sincere, “We just played minecraft together yesterday. I never knew him to be so clingy.”

“No!” Jade frowns, “Dave, Rose. Strider.”

“Oh,” She laughs. It isn’t a positive sound and pointedly, she hears Rose’s nails click against the table. “That would, perhaps, be because I’ve been working rather hard to avoid him.”

“Wait, what? I told him you weren’t,” Jade sits up a bit straighter.

“An appropriate assumption on your end, I suppose. But I am,” Rose gives a long, thoughtful hum. Like this isn’t something she’d already thought of herself. For this brief moment, Jade can see the connection between them, as Rose’s words trail into a mutter that strains the microphone (and in turn, her ears.)

“Okay. That’s silly. But okay. Why?”

“Besides the obvious-” 

“Right…”

They fall into silence save for the soft Click click click of nails on aluminum. 

“Well. If you want an honest answer,” Rose says it with the tone of blank, idle thought, all contemplative and introspective in a way Jade has become dangerously familiar with, “I do not know how I’m going to deal with him.”

“You think dealing with Dave is hard?” She says, sounding genuinely bemused on that thought. She’s always thought him pretty easy to talk to. He does most of the talking himself, if you let him.

Rose laughs again. Just under her breath, “Well. No. Perhaps that was not… the best way of phrasing that. I can deal with Dave just fine,” Rose makes a sound that Jade does not think she could mimic if she could, something between thoughtful and annoyed, “Picture it like this. To say that I spent most of the 3-year journey with Kanaya would be an understatement. I spent the entirety of the three years with Kanaya.”

“Okay.” Jade says, because she doesn’t understand.

“I don’t remember the last conversation I had with him in private, in person or otherwise,” She says, slowly and creeping, “You know. For fun, for pleasure. It feels like it would be rather cruel, to spend three years dancing around someone who I once considered my close friend, and only come crawling back when my girlfriend- Well.” She feels the strained smile that comes with that, as if that’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“That sounds like an excuse,” Jade says, and it comes out bleaker than intended, “He’s worried about you,”

“Of course he is. He’s Strider. And if he’s that worried, he can bite my ass and actually approach me on the matter, rather than treating whatever issue he assumes me to have as a ticking timebomb two moments from exploding,” There’s a small thunk on Roses end of the computer, her head hitting the desk, Jade realizes. And then, a moment later, a soft “ Shit- ” and the sound of soft hurry, “Hold on- I seem to have spilt my soda.”

Jade laughs soft enough that she hopes Rose doesn’t hear, “You know, he was telling me something the other day-”

“Yeah?” Rose says, and she sounds a great distance from her microphone, “He says a lot of things. You’ll have to clarify.”

“Well I was going to -” Jade huffs, “Apparently Five Guys has something called a coke freestyle machine?”

Rose pauses. Jade can practically hear her narrow her eyes, “First- What? Second - Jade. This is fairly important.”

“Okay," She puts on her own serious tone.

“Coke as a brand, or coke as a descriptor?” 

“Uh,” She frowns, and immediately takes to google, “A… Descriptor?” 

“Oh god damn it Strider,” Rose mumbles, “It’s soda. I might even accept pop. I just know that smug douchebag is calling it that to piss me off-.”

“Wait!” Jade corrects, as google corrects her, “Brand thing. It’s literally called the coca-cola freestyle machine,” and then, after a moments pause, “Rose. What?”

“It’s- Regional differences. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s an argument we’ve been in since Faygo was re-introduced to the meteor,” Rose waves it off.

“Aliens have Faygo?”

“And created Betty Crocker,” Rose tuts, “You are behind.”

“Oh. Yeah. No, I knew that. About Betty Crocker. Jake was trying to tell me about it before- You know. But I think he was mildly concussed.”

Rose snorts, “What?”

“It’s a long story,” She reaches up to touch her nose, which she thinks should be more crooked than it is, and winces as she remembers the dogs, “I might have been mildly concussed, actually.”

Rose hums. She does that, when she doesn’t have anything to add. Jade hears her crush the can she was drinking, and even further, hears it hit something that might be a trashcan, but is probably actually a wall.

“Well,” Rose says, “You wanted to talk about the game. Did he ever tell you how he ended up coming with me? Strider. On our infamous suicide mission.”

“I cannot say that he has!”

“Hm,” Rose leans back in her seat, “We were arguing about our mission. He wanted to take The Tumor out to what we thought would be the green sun. Alone,” Rose makes a point of deepening her voice as she says The Tumor. At least she’s having fun with it, “And I wanted to do the same.”

“So you-”

“Let me finish the story Jade,” Her voice is curt, and sharp, and Jade feels her ears flick down.

“Okay.”

“So I knocked him out with a ball of yarn and attempted to leave on my lonesome,” Rose finishes. Jade chokes on air.

“You what? ”

“I knocked him out with a ball of yarn and attempted to leave on my lonesome. Honestly Jade, do try to keep up,” Rose chuckles, “It was my mission, and I was not going to let him steal that from me.”

This time, the small, “Hm.” Jade gives is a little judgmental. Her gaze flickers up from the hologram she has for a screen, right up to the stars on her ceiling. Rose takes it as her cue to continue. 

“Unfortunately, the moon I was driving passed through a dreambubble. He happened to be in the very dreambubble I passed through- this was before we started encountering the worst of the ghosts, I believe. We spoke. He decided I wasn’t going to die alone. I wanted him to stay with you, and make sure things went over smoothly here. I’m still somewhat upset, that he-” 

“You like being in control of things a lot, Rose,” Jade says, interrupting her. 

“Oh. I very much do. Consider it a fatal flaw. Literally, in this case.” Rose chuckles, but it’s strained. Then sighs, “He shouldn’t have come.”

“It worked out in the end, didn’t it?” Jade prompts, gently.

“For us, yes. This does not change that he’s a stubborn douchebag, and he shouldn’t have come,” Rose says, like this isn’t three year old news at this point.

Jade clicks her pen. It’s an annoying sound, that sits oddly in her ears, “Well I still think you should talk to him,” Jade says.

“... I know,” And then there’s this shift in Roses tone. Careful and calculated and dripping with an attempt at detachment thats not quite working out for her. Jade does well not to mention it, even if she notices it. She thinks Rose would do the same for her, “I will.”

“Eventually?” Jade asks.

“Eventually,” Rose agrees. And while Jade isn’t quite sure if she believes her, Rose decides to turn their conversation elsewhere, “However. For now, we’ve gotten horribly off topic. Have we not? I’m sure stupid boys and their neurotic whims is not the actual reason you’ve messaged me.”

"Oh!” She absolutely would have forgotten. But she scrambles to grab her notebook with the same ease and care that she has before. And she clicks her pen. And she stares down at it. She thinks of dna, of the way frogs croak in the lagoon and the way items feel when her hand closes around them, "Honestly," She says, and leans back in her seat for a final time, "It's not actually all that important. Lets... keep talking about this."

"Ah. You have so tactfully avoided my swerve. Whatever will I do about it?"

Jade doesn't get much done that night. The humidity continues to stick, and the fan continues to run. But the nerves stop crawling under her skin, and she thinks, just maybe, that she might know a little more about Rose.

Chapter Text

The first time she manages to get the universe to listen to her, it lashes out. 

It goes like this.

She’s standing in a field of grass. It’s near the end of the season, and the grass has begun to hit her hips and tickle against her elbows. Water pools and swamps in puddles, and she takes care to avoid stepping in them. She does not know which ones are safe for play, and which lay host to the frogs from the lagoon. Their eggs too small to step around, and bodies too camouflage to catch.

She lingers on the edge of it all. 

She’s pulled out one of her grandfathers globes. A massive thing, bigger than she is, mounted in gold and polished dark oak. There’s already a pinching in her forehead when she turns to face it, as she’s had to pull it outside with her gifts rather than her strength. But she’s not quite bleeding yet, and when she breathes in stardust tickles her nostrils. Metallic, like gunpowder and smoke.

“Okay,” She says, “We’re going to try this again Miss Frog. I’m going to start, and you’re going to listen.”

Jade lifts her hands to the globe. 

Her island is not silent. Not normally. Even where nature has mostly been wiped clean, there’s noise everywhere. Her ears are fine turned to picking it up these days. There’s the sound of the wind as it catches onto the grass, ends of the leaves dancing against their song. There’s the sound of the shore, lapping against the sand and shaping the earth. And then there’s the distant croaking, frogs splashing into the water of the lagoon. 

She thinks if she concentrates, she might be able to say how many are nearby.

But now it is quiet, and it is still. 

At first, it’s the same as it always is. It’s a locked strain on her muscles, her arms seizing up as tension takes to her shoulders. It’s this- This mental block she can’t push herself around. It balls in her throat and makes it something tough to swallow. There’s this building pressure in her head where the pinching had started, malleable and thick, and she-

Stops. Huffs. Her eyes burn something fierce, like tears are threatening to escape. She reaches up to wipe at her nose, and it stains her sleeve red.

Normally this is where she’d pull back. Reconsider her approach. But she does not know what there is left to reconsider.

When she raises her hand this time, something different takes to the air.

A shapeless density, of sorts. It’s heavy on her arms.

For a moment, it’s familiar. It’s the way the universe pushes with her. There’s a flow and ebb that comes with working around atoms. She’d taken to it immediately, in the game. There’d been no fight, no question of her place. She shaped the world around her as she’d liked.

And then she’s trying to push her fingers around the strings that make up the universe. Like forcing a needle to pierce through iron. Her focus shifts. Rooted originally in the earth, it’s slammed back into space, awareness on the feeling of the mass rather then the look. She turns her hands forward, orders the strings of the universe to obey her.

And then the hair on her arms springs up. Everything about the situation screams danger, like a snake in the grass she didn’t realize was there. There’s hot poison running through her veins. Her palms itch, easy to ignore at first, but quickly overpowers. The world around her falls mute to tinnitus, heavy ringing in her ears.

Foolishly, she pushes forward. She hears the whispers of the universe demand she back, and she refuses to give. Manipulation of space is woven into her blood, a birthright she refuses to lose. She’s fighting against the pull of the universe, attempting to pick apart the threads of the atom.

She demands that it bends.

And the air snaps to life.

Like a rubber band she didn’t know was being pulled, it lashes out at her in a singular release. Searing pain that runs itself through her nerves. Jade hears the bones in her hands break in a series of chilling, crunches and pops before she feels it, really, and then feels the broken bones before she sees it. Her mind momentarily goes loopy, as her first thought is not panic. It’s- Well, it’s that she imagines this is what dipping her hand into a black hole would feel like. Pressure, pressure, pain, a burn, then a chill, and then nothing. 

When she tilts her head down to look, blood drips onto the ground beneath her, as her nose continues to bleed. 

It all catches up to her. Fogginess shatters to clarity.

Jade curls in on herself. 

She screams.

==

She sleeps off the worst of the pain.

Really, it’s all she can do. She drags her legs up onto her bed and curls in on herself until she can hide her face in her skirt, mindful of the position of her arms when she does. She cries. Somewhat because it hurts, but it’s mostly frustrated, angry tears. She doesn't vomit, but her stomach is doing this ugly twisting and curling thing that makes her think twice about standing. She falls asleep.

By the time she wakes up her arms have swollen two sizes. It’s this brilliant, angry shade of purple that webs across her skin, a spiderweb of veins and blood that has clotted under her skin.

She switches to her godtier outfit, as the sleeves are loose enough to accommodate for the swell, and switches her headset for the easy hands off computing solution.

John isn’t online when she wakes up, but Dave and Rose are. This makes sense. A reasonable hour for her is generally unreasonable for them, and to her knowledge both Dave and Rose had successfully completed the incredible feat of making a human sleep schedule entirely nocturnal since they were 13. Her eyes hesitate on Rose's name, before she suddenly pivots to Dave's instead. He was always better at casual comfort, even without realizing it.

Still. Dave is hard to sell on the calling thing, because he’s stubborn and unreasonable and can be kind of a dumbass.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began messaging turntechGodhead [TG] at 03:30 P.M.–

GG: Do you want to call?
TG: what?
TG: do we do that?
GG: what?
TG: call?
GG: I don't see why we can't!
TG: pesterchum doesnt have a call option
GG: download skype
TG: what?
TG: *hell* no im not putting that virus on my computer
GG: dave dont be a dumbass
GG: rose downloaded skype for me so you should too :(
TG: oh no
TG: hell no youre not pitting rose against me for this
TG: im not being a dumbass jade its a fucking virus
GG: its not a virus
TG: it opens without you clicking on it on start up
TG: its a fucking virus
TG: or at least a cia tracking software I don't need them in my business
TG: you know they want to put a stop to these comics but i will not be silenced
GG: holy shit dave just download it and make an account!!!!!
GG: my name is the same there as it is on pesterchum
GG: i even have a cute little icon!!
GG: to match my dog one!!!!!
TG: im not fucking downloading skype

Within five minutes, she has a friend request from Dave.

“So, any particular reason you made me download this virus onto my personal goddamn computer,”

“Skype isn’t a virus, Dave-”

“Might as well be.”

“We’re not going to keep doing this,” She puts a stop to it before they can go on, “I’m not feeling all that great,” She admits, and omits some details, “I don’t feel like typing properly right now, and my lunchtop headphones are making me nauseous,” 

And, perhaps maybe, she has decided her island is too quiet tonight. 

She omits that as well.

Her reasoning does give Dave pause, as for what feels like the longest time there’s annoying white-noise cracking from his microphone. Then he sighs, a show of playful annoyance, and his voice softens a tone or two, “I guess it’s not technically a virus, if you want to get all gross and technical with it. Unless you mean a virus by the way of biological engineering. In which you’re gaslit by crazy island girls into downloading it on your super cool ishades. Then like, yeah sure it’s totally a fuckin’ virus,”

Despite herself, Jade finds herself smiling. She closes her eyes, and rests her arms carefully across her chest. 

“You’re sick?” Dave asks, punctuating all that, “Didn’t think we could get sick anymore. Actually- Didn’t think you got illnesses and stuff on your island.”

“We can get sick, Dave. You didn’t get sick on the meteor?” 

“Ya’ll did on the ship?”

“Well…” She stalls. Most of it was self inflicted, in a way, but… “Yeah, once or twice. But today I- I just hurt myself while moving some stuff in my house today and I’m waiting for it to heal. I think it should fix itself up overnight? You know, godtier superhealing,” She attempts to move her fingers, and frowns when they don’t respond, “But right now it really just kind of hurts.”

She hears a sharp breath of air leave Dave. It’s not a sigh, but it is something like it, “Man. You have got to be more careful out there.”

“Yeah,” She says, just to get him to move on. Then, deciding that's not enough, continues with, "Do you want to watch Spirited Away with me?" 

Dave pauses. Like the immediate jump in topic takes him by surprise. But he humors her.

"Jade I'm gonna keep it real with you. I spent the last three years watchin' the same, like shitty 150 romcom movies. That sounds like a lot of fuckin movies, but that is not, in fact, a lot of fuckin movies for a 3 year trip. If you asked me to watch squiddles-"

Immediate excitement, "Oh, don’t tempt me!" Goddamn she wants to rewatch squiddles. She loves squiddles so much.

"Don't ask me to watch squiddles, I'm not fucking watching squiddles" he reconsiders his words, and his accent goes thick for a moment, "If John asked me to watch conair-"

"He doesn't like Conair anymore, apparently!"

"What? Dweeb got a taste in movies over the last three years?"

"I know , also don’t be a dick,” She chews on the inside of her cheek, “Also I think he still likes the same movies he did before, it’s literally just Conair for some reason.”

"Fine, my point is so long as it's not another goddamn rom-com I'll fuckin’ watch it."

She pauses, “Wait,” Again. For dramatic effect, “Do you not know what Spirited Away is, Dave?”

“Not a clue in the world, Jade.”

“Have you not seen any Studio Ghibli films?” 

“I dunno. They did the one that did the movie about the- fuckin’ uh. Little fish girl, right? Came out a few years ago?”

“Oh, Ponyo!”

“Gesundheit,” He leans back. She hears that chair creek again as he does it, “Okay. How do we do this?”

Jade doesn’t need to walk him through to process of setting up a livestream, because Dave is, despite how he might act, incredibly smart. She just links him to the software her and John have been using for their movie nights, and he downloads it without complaint.

It goes well for the first part of the movie. Her and Dave settle into a comfortable silence. He streams, because she does not feel like opening up her lunchtop to do so, and she’s content with watching it in the small window a small distance from her head.

Her arms really, really fucking hurt. 

She laughs. Rolls over to look at her screen

"God," she says, and it's quiet, "This fucking sucks."

“What?" Dave snorts, his attention rather obviously still divided on the movie, “Didn’t think this was a hate watch. You love this corny anime shit.”

"No, no- Spirited away is- I like spirited away!" Jade says, trying to put more enthusiasm into her voice then she feels, "It’s more like- THIS ."

"You just said this louder, helpin' me understand jack all and get all shit,”

"This reward. What we got for winning the game. It sucks.”

The movie continues to play. Jade isn’t counting the seconds waiting for his response. Honestly, isn’t even expecting one. But eventually, a scene or two later, he says, "Y’know something, Harley? I think I might agree."

“Yeah..?”

“Yeah.” Then, quieter, he says, “I don’t know why it brought bro back but I couldn’t even fuckin’ message Terezi n’ Karkat, let alone seem ‘em”

She sits up. Her hands drop limply from her chest and land directly in her lap, “You’re really not happy to have him back? Like at all?”

“He’s-” Dave hesitates, and when he's not talking over text he is so much easier to read. His voice practically dies in his throat as he realizes what he's said. She can practically hear the conflict in his voice, some mix of exhaustion and hesitation. His voice takes a tone thats a bit weaker then it had been a minute beforehand, “I mean. No. Yeah? We talked about this- It's not that... Fucking christ. I would really just rather have batshit troll girls that make games out of court drama mindfucks. And Karkat. That's a quantifiable fuckin' fact, for sure.”

Her voice comes out quiet, “Dave-”

“I didn’t want to have this conversation with you,” Dave says, immediately, interrupting her. Her eyebrows raise high on her head at that.

“Oh,” She says, and then, “Alright.”

The movie plays in the background. They’re at this scene that she knows is supposed to be emotionally charged, but the noise of it is sort of goes into one ear and out the other, and her eyes blur when she looks at the screen. She blinks, forcing them to refocus.

“....” Dave sighs, which she expected. He doesn’t know how to stop talking, which she likes about him, “It was a long three years,” He mumbles, “Lots’a time to consider- you know. Things.”

“I know. Things.”

“Like- you know. Relationships. To at the time deceased guardians.”

“Right,” She says, and its something patient and slow.

“I don’t-” Dave stumbles over himself.

“Dave, if you don’t want to talk about this with me you don’t have to,” She says, “I’m not hurt that you-”

“But who else am I gonna talk to it about?” He asks, blankly, “John?? Please. Keeps my head above water but thats not- I don't think he gets it. Don't really think you do either but- Rose? We barely just got to talkin’ again I’m not dropping my fuckin’ braddy issues onto her. Actually she would eat that shit up and we both know it. No. I am not talking to fucking Rose about Bro.”

“Your-” She chokes on her laughter, “No, no go back. What did you just call that?” 

Dave is quiet. He’s so quiet. And then she hears him sink into his seat, “Nnnno,” Dave says, and its in a long, drawn out, pained moan, “No, no, no, Jade why did I say that.”

She stares at the screen, “That's not even a word,” She says, She hears a thunking on the other side of the screen, hard and thick, and she laughs a bit harder, “Dave, whatever you’re doing stop doing it!”

“No. I am going to put myself into a coma and it’s gonna be fuckin’ great-” And then a particularly hard thunk, “ Shit , ow. You know he's like, right out there right? He sleeps one room away. He can hear the dumb shit I say if I'm not careful. Still got camera's everywhere. Like - Ow, okay, that one...” He trails off, but the thumping sound stops.

“Did you just hurt yourself?”

“No,” he says it a little too fast. She snorts again.

"You can probably tempt her into your dm's with them," She says, "Rose, I mean. Like mouse bait!"

"It would be like chum in the goddamn rose water," Dave snorts, and makes a clicking sound with his tongue, "Pspsps, here girl. Come get your weekly dose of Stridian fruedian analysis. Since you didn't get enough of it in the three goddamn years we were traveling together on a hell rock. Come on, we can talk about Dirk and the way my dumbass dumped everything onto him within minutes of meeting him- Fuck. I miss him. Can you miss someone you knew for a day? I hope he's doin' okay. See, this is what I'm fucking talking about. Why couldn't we keep Dirk? I would have taken good care of him."

"Take care of him? Like a dog?"

"Yes exactly like that. Here boy. Come get your doritos served cold. That's basically what being with the trolls were like, human from the future can't be much different."

She giggles, "Hey Dave? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I... Man, I don't even know at this point. I kinda started panicking around the time I brought Bro up."

Her eyes turn away from the movie. She watches that windchime again, instead, as it plays in the background.

“I understand though,” She says, all airy and thoughtful, “I had three years alone to think about- I don’t know. A lot of things. Three years puts a lot of things into perspective. I don't know what conclusion you came to, but it... I mean. If you want to. Yeah," Man, maybe Rose was right. Talking to Dave about these things was harder then talking to her.

There’s another lull. She watches the main character hug the dragon, as they fly through the sky. She’s reminded, quietly, of the way John looks when he’s flying with his godtier outfit on. 

And then, Dave's cursor pauses the movie. It's so abrupt, that she jumps with the click.

"Wait. You were alone?" He asks, sounding truly bemused, as the ramifications seem to hit him upside the head, "For like. All three years?'

“Well. Yeah," She turns her attention up to her ceiling, "John died. So did Davesprite,"

“I- knew that,” If her ears don’t deceive her, Dave seems startled, “I didn’t think about. Y’know. The implications.”

“The implications?”

“The implications," He repeats, heavier this time, “Like- Like they died? At the beginning of the journey?”

“Yes, Dave. They died at the start of our trip. That’s what I said,” And now it’s Jade's turn to almost say “I don’t want to talk about this with you.” because she sort of kind of doesn’t. 

"You never said it was at the start."

It’s quiet. She hears his fingers tap next to his mic, hard on the wood of the desk. She kind of wishes he’d play the movie, if he was going to go deep in thought like this. The silence feels deafening, and only succeeds in reminding her of the pulsating pain she feels near the ends of her arm.

She hears something on his end, but it's so quiet the mic barely picks it up. She squints, "Dave," she says, "You're mumbling. I can't understand you."

"That's so fucked up Jade," he says, and she hears him get up and out of his chair. She thinks he might be pacing. 

“Well. Yeah.”

“And you were just. Alone? That's so- All three years? Alone?"

She needs to do damage control before Dave Strider has an anxiety attack on her behalf, "Not entirely . I had Nanna," She considers it, and adds, "And Jaspers. And all of the consorts!"

"That ain't the fuckin same." He says, scoffs a bit, "No wonder you're so-"

"So what?” In a tone that just begs him to choose his next words carefully. And he does. Whatever tone he’d taken before dies on his tongue, and she just feels those shades looking at her.  

"Quiet. You're so much more quiet then you used to be. It's real sad."

That gives her pause. She blinks, and furrows her brows, “I’m not that quiet."

“Jade, for like the first three weeks we got back we communicated almost entirely through music and planetary vibrations. I don't know about you but I figured that was pretty goddamn quiet."

“I kind of figured-” Jade slowly lets herself lay back in bed again, carefully shifting her arms to her side. She stares up at the hologram, "I thought that was because of you."

“... Oh. What?" Dave says, and his seat squeaks as he settles back into it.

"Yeah. Oh."

He doesn’t play the movie. They’re left sitting in silence together. Jade heavily considers rolling over and hanging up the call, but the idea of trying to fuss with it while feeling like gives her more of a headache then she’d already had. So she does.

It gives Dave the chance to speak again. Dave sighs loud enough that that the microphone not only picks up on it, but it sort of hurts her ears to focus on.

"When I was," he thinks hard about what he’s saying, and she knows this because his sentence sort of. Lingers a bit? It lingers when he thinks. She doesn’t know where he picked up that habit, "When I was 14. Like a year into the trip, right? ‘rezi and I got into this big fight. I think it was about Vriska? It was normally about Vriska. Vriska was constantly this whole mindfuck thing with her. I never really got it. Like I understand that quadrant thing but I don’t get it. Fuckin’ skeeves me out. Far as I was concerned she should have just, stopped talking to her, but no she couldn't,” He sighs, and it's heavy and exhausted.

“Dave,” She says, to keep him on track. She doesn’t think they’re that hard to understand, but she doesn’t say as much.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we got into this fight and- y’know, there was only so many people to hang around with on the meteor. Who the fuck was I going to hang out with?? I had Rose but she was so- y'know, in L word with Kanaya?"

"Love?"

“Ugh, no. Lesbians,” Dave groans, “And don’t get me wrong, Kanaya was cool and all. Like she was totally chill. Had a chain saw. Made Rose real happy, it was kinda fuckin’ weird seein’ her so- like that. So no complaints. But- God they were just constantly up eachothers ass Jade. Made me feel like a third wheel around ‘em. You had to make an appointment to get with Rose for the longest goddamn time because sexy vampires take priority- Actually. yeah no that checks out. I could probably be seduced away from y'all by a sexy vampire lady with big tits. Well, Kanaya’s tits were pretty small, but like, so were most of the other troll girls. Don’t think they served the same purpose as ours? Probably produce poison instead of milk, that sounds par for the course for alternian culture.”

“Dave,” She says, just so calmly, just as much to keep him on track. But this time she is smiling something careful, “We can talk about tits later? You were hitting me with one of your sick anecdotes.”

“Ah, fuck. Sorry. Right. So, Terezi and I got into this huge fight, and Rose was off duty. And I wasn’t ‘bout to hang out with Vriska, especially ‘cause she was hanging with Terezi. And so for a while it was just me and the mayor. I don’t remember if you ever met him, but he was like. He was fuckin’ great. Just this little guy that wanted to build his town out of cans or whatever. Some toy story shit, you got a friend in me, only me is the mayor. Universal constant, like frogs,” She can practically hear him smiling, something that causes her ear to twitch. And his next words are muffled, probably into his hands, "Man it wasn't the same."

“What?”

“Hangin’ out with the Mayor instead of Terezi,” Still muffled, but she understands it this time, “It was so goddamn lonely, Jade. Like again- he’s fuckin’ cool. He’s great. Man I miss the lil guy. But-” He stumbles over his words, and his tone momentarily takes on an odd sort of frantic speed, which is funny because he immediately cuts himself off, like whatever he was about to say was too much for either himself, or this conversation, "Eventually Karkat started hangin' around. He mostly just bitched me out a lot and forced me to watch his shitty romcoms but. It helped. He was probably pretty lonely too, I think he- Like? He spent a lot of time talkin’ to his future and past self. Er- More like, bitchin’ himself out, honestly? Like. Look dude, I know we got all the time in the world on this shit rock but you don’t need to platform your self-loathing in public goddamn memo’s-”

“He did that in the game too,” Jade says, interrupting him, “With me.”

“Did he?” Dave doesn’t sound surprised by that, though, “I didn’t pay attention to him in game, to be honest. Was kinda preoccupied with all mad troll ladies up in my business.”

“Yeah,” She nods, despite knowing its to herself, “All the time. We had to stop talking in memo’s because his future self would just come in and start bitching his past self out and it was so annoying .”

Dave snorts, "Wait. Yeah, fuck, I think I remember that. Didn't he start hitting on you?” He mutters, obviously humored, “Holy shit. That's so fucking funny. God, e's really crunching real irony points for that one. Okay- Fuck, putting that train back on the rails. Listen, Jade, okay. He had this weird- clown, buddy? Yeah that guy. They were in that diamond quadrant. Stopped hanging out with him, or whatever," Dave gives a long, drawn-in breath, "Oh my god. You don't even know about the clown."

"No Dave. I don't know about the clown.”

“That’s just- so good for you. That’s so fuckin’ good for your mental health Jade. I know about the clown, and you know what? I’m worse off for it. The clown sucks.”

She snort-giggles. Her arms ache.

“Anyway. They were all diamonds and then he wasn’t diamonds with Karkat, and they stopped hanging out. I guess everything just worked out around the same time. But it was a really long month. With just me and the mayor.” Jade doesn’t say anything again, but only because Dave seems to have lit up more than he has in months, even when talking about old drama from an era long gone, "I think Karkat felt bad for me. He didn’t have to do that. Like- alright, hangin’ out with Terezi and Vriska was just constantly this whole, awkward thing, for the same reason hangin’ out with Rose and Kanaya were. But they were both his friends. For whatever goddamn reason. Nah- Okay it’s hard not to get along with Karkat. But he didn’t have to to that,” Dave admits, “Hang out with me. Do you know how much time I spent sittin’ in a corner. Throwin’ down sick beats on my own. And don’t get me wrong, those beats were fire. I thought I was really pissin’ him off anytime he passed by, but like. Y’know.”

She smiles, “I can imagine,” She says, and thinks of the amount of rambling he still does in her dms. Dave is great.

And then he’s quiet again, and she feels the change in the air. Like a switch being flipped, sudden and charged. 

"I was only alone for like. A month and it fucked with me. I wasn’t even actually alone Jade, I was just- Stubborn. Fuckin’ stupid. Can't fuckin imagine what three years alone- God. That sucks Jade. That so, just fuckin’ sucks. Fuck that game. Played a shitty game got a shitty prize."    

Jade blinks at the screen. When she does, she blinks tears from her eyes as well. What..? 

"We made up eventually," Dave says, when Jade has spent enough time not saying anything that he's sufficiently decided she has nothing to add, “Terezi and I. I don't even remember what we were arguing about, honestly. Like obviously it was Vriska but I don’t know what about Vriksa. And trust me Jade," He lower his voice for dramatic effect, "She never got over fuckin' Vriska. It sucked. She sucked sometimes. Actually thinkin’ on it? Most of the trolls kinda fuckin’ sucked. I- Like Karkat was great but even he kind of fuckin’ sucked.”

“Trust me Dave,” She closes her eyes, and thinks of all the dumb stupid messages she’s sent to him recently, “I know Karkat kind of sucks. He would not crawl out of my ass during the game at all .”

“But he also wasn’t. Horrible?”

“I also know that,” She nods, approvingly.

Dave laughs. It’s breathy, and under his breath, “Yeah,” He says, “Man, I really want to talk to them again.”

“Me too,” Jade turns to look at the screen.

Their conversation ends. When enough time has passed that both of them have decided the conversation is over, Dave wordlessly presses play on the movie again. They watch it through to the end without incident. 

"Hey," Dave says, when the credits of the movie roll, “You’re alone over there now, right? Pacific goddamn wherever.”

"Kinda. I have you guys to talk to now."

“Yeah but like. That ain’t the same either,” Dave goes quiet, mumbles something she can’t understand which culminates to, “Do you want to- Yknow. Be less alone? 'Cause we're not 13 anymore. I mean, I don't know how much different 16 is to 13, but we can probably- I guess work something out?”

“I don’t want to think about it right now,” She says, and goes back to staring at the ceiling.

“Okay,” Dave say, “Alright. We don’t gotta.”

“....” 

“....” She turns her head to the skype chat window, hovering only a foot from her face. Like Dave can see it, “I’m working on it,” She says.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Alright. Cool. Fuckin’ incredible, okay,” Dave trails off into another series of mumbles. She puts a halt to that one.

“Do you want to watch another movie with me?” She asks, “We can watch Ponyo.”

“Shit. We sure the fuck can.”

They end up watching Ponyo and Howls Moving Castle. Because Dave is just that good of a friend, sometimes.