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with brilliant sunlight on my back, you smiled

Summary:

The sun is just starting to rise when Shenhe breaks the rhythmic sound of their footsteps against the dirt road, her steady but inquisitive tone cutting through the relative silence.

"What is the Chasm like?" Shenhe cocks her head, trailing along the road after Yelan like an obedient puppy, and not for the first time since their introduction, Yelan finds herself wondering how this was the woman who had saved all of Liyue Harbor.

or, Yelan and Shenhe in the Chasm together, and so on and so forth.

Notes:

*writes nearly 16k words for a character who's getting released in 3 days*

this is fine!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It is raining outside when Ningguang summons her to the Jade Chamber.

We can hold off until the rain stops if you would prefer, is what the note Ganyu had handed to her had said, but Yelan steps out from the Yanshang Teahouse into the rain regardless. She knows that the suggestion had been a mere formality— after years of working with Ningguang, there is no possible way the Tianquan actually believes she would wait.

The Plaustrite platforms that elevate her to the Chamber are slick with rain, but she pays no mind. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be a pirate to be familiar with open water. The blue glass orb that dangles at her side is more than proof of this.

She knows that Ningguang would expect her promptly, anyway. Rain or shine, Yelan always shows up when asked— it is what has kept her in the good graces of many in the Harbor, Ningguang included. Perhaps out of anyone in Teyvat, it is the Tianquan that knows her best, regardless, as meaningless as that information is.

The Hydro archer smiles wryly to herself, stepping into the grand halls of the Jade Chamber. Her heels clack against the pristine floor, the sound reverberating through the warmly lit hallways, making her way towards the lavish office she knows the Tianquan would be waiting for her in.

It was a useless thought to think that Lady Ningguang could ever be hers, anyway— utterly useless. The worst of the worst, she is well aware. Unable to do anything without the guise of a shadow, hidden in plain sight. Meanwhile, Lady Ningguang is bright like the sun with its watchful eye cast over all of Liyue, a north star for a certain seafaring captain.

Yelan is a fool nonetheless, falls nonetheless, keeps her head held high nonetheless.

"Yelan," a crooning voice calls, a siren at sea.

"You called for me, Lady Ningguang?"

And when she allows herself into Ningguang's office space, the white-haired woman greeting her with a smile of secrets, Yelan expertly calms her thudding heart to the sound of thunder outside, rain beating down on the roof, a drumbeat to keep time to.

"You're earlier than expected," Ningguang notes, languidly rising from her desk.

"So I'm right on time," Yelan replies in kind, traditional smirk practiced to perfection. She flicks out a Hydro lifeline thread behind her, wrapping itself around the door handle and snapping it shut with a click. "I was intrigued by the proposal you mentioned in your letter."

"And you were right to be. This is an Orb of the Blue Depths." With a graceful flick of her wrist, Ningguang underhands the small, strange gem. Yelan snatches it from mid-air with practiced fingers, only to hold it up and appraise it beneath the Jade Chamber's ceiling lights. "As of right now, there are eight more of them waiting to be recovered in the Chasm."

"Blue Depths?" Yelan echoes. Contrary to its name, the tiny gem is a dark, foggy purple— it makes her uneasy, for some reason. She chooses not to voice this. "Doesn't look very blue to me. So, you're asking me to retrieve the rest of these for you?"

"That, I am."

"This doesn't seem like your usual line of work for me." Not that she's complaining. Still, she plasters a smirk to her face, hooded green eyes teasing. "Is that favorite captain of yours too busy to humor you? Or will you finally admit that my services are better?"

Rolling her eyes, Ningguang shakes her head with a disbelieving laugh.

"What you and Beidou have against each other is completely beyond my scope of comprehension. But if I am to be blunt," the Tianquan leans forward, propping her cheek up on an elbow. Her red eyes meet Yelan's with a quirk of her lips. "I do not think a sea-faring captain would do very well underground, no?"

Well, that's certainly fair.

"What a shame." Yelan keeps her tone dry, maintaining the nonchalant upturn of her smile. "Maybe she'd get claustrophobia. That would be a sight."

"And you have already ventured into the Chasm many times." Ignoring Yelan's prior remark and reclining back in her chair, Ningguang hums. "I hold your abilities in the highest regard. If I am to be frank, I want to know what lies at the end of this trail of gemstones, and I also want a more thorough documentation of the Chasm's layout. I don't know anyone more qualified for this undertaking than you."

Yelan tilts her head to the side, smiles sweetly at the woman who would never understand her affections.

"I appreciate it, Lady."

"I also trust your ability to lead your new companion."

"My— what?" Surprised, Yelan looks up.

"Yes, I would like for—"

"Lady Tianquan!" There's a knock at the door. "Miss Shenhe has arrived!"

"Wonderful. Send her in."

Shenhe. The woman who saved Liyue Harbor from the Beisht attack?

Yelan raises an eyebrow.

"You wish for me to bring Miss Shenhe?"

Ningguang smiles. "Yes. No one is more, ah… adept at traversing mountainous and rocky terrain."

"That was terrible, Lady Ningguang." Yelan clicks her tongue. "And I know you are aware that I work better alone." You know that I am not weak.

"I believe that I am the most aware of your abilities of anyone else in this nation," the Tianquan replies smoothly. Her eyes are like wine— Yelan could easily get drunk in them. It's a gamble to sneak a peek, but Yelan finds herself taking the risk every single time. "I know you seek danger, but the Chasm has only proven to be more dangerous than we ever anticipated, especially with the Abyss Order's interference. Shenhe is a skilled combatant. She will keep up with you, Yelan."

Wordlessly, Yelan nods.

"Please," Ningguang adds, softer now. Ah, how unfair. Her eyes are gentler, and she looks at Yelan as if she could actually care. Over Yelan's shoulder, the doors to the office begin to open, and she hears a telltale click of heels. "Please, rely on her. There is no need for you to shoulder the brunt of this task alone. And if it comes down to it, know that your life is worth more to me than any trail of treasures."

And as the door opens, a third person steps into the room. Yelan smiles placatingly, steels her heart, and pretends that her Tianquan's worries delve any deeper than the roots of an overseer's concern for a favored employee.

"As you wish, Lady Ningguang."

--

In her youth, there was an unfurnished room in her house.

Yelan remembers this quite clearly: stealing away from lessons, bare feet lightly padding against the sun-warmed floor, careful not to let her parents know where she had snuck off to. She would bring books, small snacks, some string to play games for one, but nothing that would stay— no one who would stay.

The room remained empty.

And perhaps it was because the room held nothing notable in it, but there was something about the rhythmic drumming of the rain on the roof that had drawn Yelan in as a child, hiding away in this hollowed, barren room to watch the thunder roll over Liyue.

"Does the Electro Archon command the lightning to strike?" She recalls asking her father this one night. 

She had joined him in the tea room during the midst of one particularly vicious storm, having watched lightning soar down from the sky into the harbor. Most certainly, were anyone to check in the morning, they would find a single fishing boat in ruins.

"It is impossible to say for sure unless you ask her yourself," her father had replied. He was a practical man, bent on teaching her practical things— how to get the cheapest bread for the best quality, how to get along with your coworkers, how to find fortune in unpredictable places. "Perhaps it was intentional. Perhaps lightning strikes by chance. Placing your assumption on either is already a coin toss."

"A gamble," Yelan had surmised. She'd reached into her pocket, feeling for the precious six-sided die he had gifted her for her birthday. "I've heard that lightning never strikes the same place twice."

"That is a myth." The older man shook his head. "I've seen it with my own eyes. I bet if you pay attention, you will see it too. There is always some uncertainty with these things."

"If it strikes where that boat was again," Yelan had mused, "nothing will come of it. It's already broken."

"Maybe so," her father responded. "But our certainty is this: there will still be a tomorrow in Liyue Harbor, even with one less boat."

And so a young Yelan had reflected on this in the eye of the storm, from within the empty room of her family's house— the house that would later become her own, once her parents retired to Qingce Village.

This will pass. This will pass.

--

The first thing Yelan notices are her eyes— Shenhe's eyes are unlike any she's ever seen before, never settling on a single color, yet all at once; the calm after the storm.

The second thing she notices is the seeming lack of emotion.

"You called for me, Lady Ningguang?" Shenhe asks. Her gaze is gentle despite the neutral line of her lips. She carries herself impeccably, ever so much like the adepti she was raised by. Her hair is the color of snow.

Yelan takes it all in and wonders how she's never encountered Shenhe around Liyue Harbor before.

"This is Yelan," Ningguang introduces, seeming to lose all embellishment when conversing with Shenhe. Still, her tone takes on something warm— not teasing, not amusement, but genuine warmth. "She is another trusted companion of mine. Remember the gemstone I showed you over lunch last week? I wish for you to accompany Yelan to the Chasm to seek out the remaining eight."

Short, simple, to the point. Yelan takes note of this— perhaps this is how to best communicate. She can do that.

Shenhe nods curtly, as if Ningguang had just asked her to fetch some water instead. "Alright."

"That's it?" Yelan asks suddenly, speaking for the first time since Shenhe had arrived. "You're not going to ask what's in it for you?"

Shenhe blinks, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"Lady Ningguang is a friend. Why would I not help?"

Yelan barks out a laugh, shaking her head as she turns to a Ningguang who stifles a smirk behind her hand.

"Lady Ningguang," she tuts, wagging her pointer finger, like she herself is not the type to decide her days based on the roll of dice. "Don't tell me you've been taking advantage of this poor young woman."

"Of course not," Ningguang admonishes with a chuckle. "Shenhe is a treasured collaborator of mine. She always gets compensated," she turns her sharp gaze to the blankly staring white-haired woman, "whether she wants to be compensated or not."

"It's not necessary." Shenhe shrugs. "But Lady Ningguang was insistent, and Yun Jin tells me that I will never know when I will need extra Mora."

"Do you always go along with what others tell you?" Yelan doesn't know what prompts the question. This type of grilling isn't her typical style, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tinge of amusement flicker across Ningguang's face. It's unfairly attractive. Yelan focuses on the white-haired woman in front of her instead.

"Within reason," Shenhe replies, surprisingly smooth. "I trust Lady Ningguang, and I trust Yun Jin. I trust Lumine, and Ganyu, and I also trust Captain Beidou."

Ah, that name. It appears that Beidou even had her beat in meeting Shenhe. The thought almost makes Yelan want to laugh.

"I see. That's quite the powerful circle you've got there."

"Will I also be able to trust you?" Shenhe questions.

"I suppose you'll be finding out soon enough." Hands on her hips, back straight. She's slightly shorter than Shenhe but what she lacks in stature, Yelan will just have to make up for in confidence. Her grin is wicked, befitting of her emerald green eyes. "I hope you can keep up, Miss Shenhe."

Shenhe's luminous gaze glimmers at the challenge.

"Likewise, Miss Yelan."

--

"You want to know about Shenhe?" Xiangling's considerate smile breaks into a light giggle as she sets down Yelan's meal for the night. She looks over her shoulder to where Hu Tao kicks her legs from up on a stool manning the Wanmin Restaurant’s counter for whatever reason. "She's pretty great, don't you think?"

"Oh, yes!" Hu Tao enthuses, the Wangsheng director clapping her hands happily. "She thought my songs were rather strange at first, but she asked me to sing for her the other day, and guess what? I caught her humming to herself as she was heading to the Heyu Teahouse earlier!"

"Heyu Teahouse?" Yelan picks up her chopsticks. "Ah, that's right. She's friends with Yun Jin."

"They're like two peas in a pod now." Xiangling giggles again. "Last week Yun Jin brought Shenhe here so she could 'learn to savor Liyue food'."

Behind her, Guoba rolls out of the kitchen, bumping against Yelan's chair. The small panda chirps happily when the blue-haired woman stoops to pat him.

"Is Shenhe still not completely used to the city?"

"No." Xiangling shakes her head. "But she's getting there! She still resides in Jueyun Karst, but every week she's been staying around the Harbor longer!"

Yelan picks at her meal, idly noticing how Xiangling has added extra chilies this time. "She calls Jueyun Karst home?"

"I… wouldn't say that." Xiangling's brow furrows.

"I think mortals fascinate her," Hu Tao comments, songlike in her lilt. Her flower-like eyes sparkle in amusement beyond her years. "I can only imagine what it's like to live as a mortal amongst Adepti for the formative years of life. It's only a matter of time before she finds a reason to stay here near-permanently."

Yelan nods slowly. That makes sense.

Then, she pauses, produces a coin from her pocket, flicks it. Tails. Alright, then.

She speaks up.

"Not to sound rude, but why are you here, Director Hu Tao?"

"Why, I'm bringing Xiangling fermented plum blossoms, of course!" Leaping off her stool, Hu Tao cheers and races over to tackle Xiangling into a backhug. Hu Tao pouts. "I've been so busy at the parlor that I haven't seen my Xiangling in so long. I thought I’d stay and help out!"

"You could've dropped off the flowers and left!" Xiangling complains, but her words carry no weight. She squirms around in Hu Tao's arms, her eyes growing impossibly soft. "You're such a nuisance."

"There you go again, saying things I know you don't mean!" Hu Tao grins. "That's okay. This is how we are. We both know that I'm your nuisance!"

Yelan chuckles to herself, perfectly fine with being forgotten in the moment. She looks back down to her food, content with giving the girls some privacy, and begins to eat.

--

They set out early the next morning, convening at the southern bridge of the Harbor and beginning the journey to the mines. The sun is just starting to rise when Shenhe breaks the rhythmic sound of their footsteps against the dirt road, her steady but inquisitive tone cutting through the relative silence.

"What is the Chasm like?" Shenhe cocks her head, trailing along the road after Yelan like an obedient puppy, and not for the first time since their introduction, Yelan finds herself wondering how this was the woman who had saved all of Liyue Harbor.

Somehow, surprisingly, Yelan quickly finds that Shenhe's casual talk is not an unwelcome change.

Busy with the specialized tasks Ningguang had assigned her during the Jade Chamber's relaunch, Yelan had not been present during the battle against Beisht. She almost regrets it, given how many had spoken of Shenhe's role in saving the Harbor from drowning amidst the waves— it almost sounded fun. Ningguang, herself, had even seemed impressed by the white-haired woman's showcase, and that was a feat in itself; Ningguang isn't influenced very easily.

And so, while Yelan hasn't had the time to be as thorough as she'd like in her research, she does know some things. Like—

"You're friends with Lumine, right?" Yelan spares Shenhe a quick glance over her shoulder before facing front once more. "Hasn't she told you anything?"

"We didn't have much time to catch up." Shenhe shrugs, although subtle mirth twinkles in her uniquely iridescent eyes. "But I was told that you saved her life before."

"I suppose that we are equal in that regard," Yelan concedes.

Though they continue to converse, their strides never falter. It's refreshing, actually— having someone be able to match her footsteps. Oftentimes, her coworkers at the Ministry complain behind her back about how she walks too fast. Meanwhile, Shenhe seems to fall into place beside her effortlessly, never lagging behind, never out of breath.

"I apologize if this is rude," Shenhe voices eventually, "but you never did answer my question."

"Ah."

At that, Yelan finds herself halting in place— just a brief pause in their journey. She toes the ground, notes how the landscape gets rockier as they get closer and closer to the Chasm.

How to best describe the depths…

"Think of the mountains," Yelan finally says, crossing her arms. "You know how they keep extending upwards, towards the sky?"

"Yes."

"Imagine that, but reverse. Sheer cliffs and high drops. Creatures that have learned to thrive in the darkness. The Chasm extends down, endlessly down. Further than any mortal should ever go."

"But," Shenhe peers at Yelan curiously, "we are not regular mortals."

Yelan laughs at that and raises one shoulder to offer a shrug.

"Thank the Archons that we are not." She beckons for Shenhe to hurry along. She can see the Millelith guards stationed by the Chasm gates not far in the distance. "Let's not waste any more time now. We're almost there— best say your goodbyes to the beloved sun while you can, darling."

And as it turns out, there's not much of a sun to say goodbye to.

By the time they reach the gaping hole at the center of the Chasm's surface, the sky has clouded over. When they shuffle onto the meager pulley elevator and begin the descent downwards, it's already started to rain.

Down, down, down, they descend into the Chasm. It's a slow pace, and Yelan almost wants to unfurl her glider and simply leap down there herself. Judging from the way Shenhe continues shifting in place, she suspects the other woman probably wants to do the same.

Yelan reaches out and brushes a hand down Shenhe's arm.

"I think Shenhe and I can take it from here," she announces to the exploration team member manning the elevator. "We can glide the rest of the way."

She receives his nod of approval and steps to the edge of the platform, meets the sight of the silent thank you that Shenhe sends her way.

Think nothing of it.

"Ready?" Yelan asks aloud.

"Of course," is Shenhe's reply.

And with that, they step over the edge and plunge into darkness.

--

"What's on your mind?"

"Hm? Oh." Craning her head up, Shenhe's small frown is evident as she stares up at the large hole they'd glided down from. "Nothing much."

Yelan pauses in her fiddling with the Limestone Adjuvant, the device lighting up within her careful hands and illuminating their path. Mentally, she makes a note to report to Jinwu of the Chasm's exploration team— her device seemed to be working spectacularly.

"I don't believe that for a second."

"Ah." Shenhe shrugs. "I suppose it just occurred to me that there's no rain down here."

"No sunlight either, for that matter," is Yelan's nonchalant response. "Just a nighttime with no sky, no end."

"I am not sure I like it. But you— you are not bothered by this." Shenhe phrases this like an observation.

"Why would I need to be?" Yelan's smile turns wry. "Work in the dark, work in the day. Either way, my actions must go unnoticed."

"That's not true," Shenhe says, and the conviction in her words is enough for Yelan to stop in her tracks, narrowing her eyes as she turns on her heel to stare at the adepti-blessed woman's thoughtful expression. "You are well-liked. You have many acquaintances. People enter and exit your teahouse all the time, especially at night. I see you leaving to go on that fancy boat that's always docked in the harbor. You have many threads of connections."

In response, Yelan's smile widens to something sharp and dangerous.

"Someone's been spying on me."

"Not spying." Shenhe shakes her head. "You are the one who is everywhere. How could I not see you?"

"Oh?" Were Yelan a more honest person, perhaps she'd properly voice her surprise. Instead, a smirk settles comfortably, and she clicks her tongue, continuing to walk down the mineshaft with her hands on her hips. "I guess I really am just that eye-catching."

"You caught my eye, Miss Yelan," Shenhe calls after her, lightly jogging to keep up before matching Yelan's stride once more.

And Yelan halts, Shenhe immediately stopping in turn as the other woman's sharp green gaze rakes up and down her figure. The Hydro archer isn't blind— Shenhe looks like a goddess among mortals, her tight bodysuit leaving little to the imagination. She steps carefully yet steadily through the mineshafts, her arms relaxed at her sides, completely at a match for Yelan's own brisk, casual steps.

How she had missed Shenhe spotting her all over Liyue Harbor, Yelan has no idea.

"Is there something wrong?" Shenhe asks.

Yelan shakes her head, breathing out a slight chuckle of disbelief.

"Nothing. But please— just 'Yelan' is perfectly fine."

--

Yelan comes to the conclusion that it's just inherently built into Shenhe to chase after evildoers after the other woman's polearm pierces through the shield of an Abyss mage and she scales an entire cliff to chase after its retreating form.

It's quite the spectacle, Yelan must admit.

"I don't know if you're stupid or just that confident," she says, chuckling as Shenhe easily leaps down from the high ledge, her grace floaty and dreamlike, a crane who doesn't belong in this dark place yet adapts nonetheless.

Shenhe shrugs. "Either way, it gets the job done."

The blue-haired woman hums in response, hands on her hips.

"To think there are Abyss mages down here too, huh? I wonder if they're already used to the dark."

"Quite frankly," Shenhe says, whisking away her polearm into a shimmer of fading light, "I don't care. The fact that they are willing to come to these shadowy places and die for the cause should be frightening enough— whoever placed such conviction in them must be powerful."

Yelan peers at her through the glow of the Lumenspar.

"It should be frightening, but you aren't afraid."

"I don't feel much at all, honestly." Shenhe tugs at the red ropes securely fastened around her shoulders. "These make sure of that."

The Hydro archer smiles sardonically. "Can I get myself a pair?"

"You wish to be unfeeling?"

It would certainly be helpful. She doesn't say that, though, opting to lie instead.

"No, but I rather like being tied up."

The joke flies over Shenhe's head, and they carry on.

--

There is a popular game amongst the children in Liyue: fan sheng, the turning rope. Its origins are debated— some insist it was formed by the children of Liyue, but other nations beg to differ. This has never mattered to Yelan— she'd simply found string to be fascinating.

There is a partner version— "Cat's Cradle," is the popular name from Mondstadt, she's heard.

Yelan has never known this version. Instead, her childhood was spent twisting looped threads across her fingers in ways the other street children did not know, amazing figures forming in the string at her fingertips— teacups, ladders, cat's whiskers.

She would twist and loop, her thumbs move rhythmically, mechanically, up over one string, down under another— twisting and looping, hooking her string across each digit with practiced ease until it would be too tangled to be twisted any further.

She'd hold what resembled an unintelligible mess of knots up to the other children playing by the docks.

"Watch me pull on the string," she'd once commanded them confidently, like a magician performing a street trick.

And her single finger would tug on the thread, awe sprawling across her playmates' faces when the tangled yarn would magically unravel itself.

"See?" A young Yelan would boast, childish but proud nonetheless. "I can untie any knot!"

That had been a lie. The trick only would work after twisting your thread, hooking it in a special way, after all— not that the other children had known, at the time.

But she was the only one who had known of a fan sheng to play solitary, so they had been impressed nonetheless.

Teacups, ladders, cat's whiskers.

--

Retrieving the first Orb of the Blue Depths is easy enough— the lance-wielding Shadowy Husk possessing the tiny sphere is no match for Shenhe's polearm, nor Yelan's bow.

Aqua Simulacra sings in her grasp as she flanks their foe, lifelines flinging from Yelan's fingertips to entrap the dark knight as Shenhe easily coordinates with jabs from the other side. It's a short-lived challenge, but even as the Husk dissipates into nothingness beside them, the newly-acquired Orb being passed between their hands, Yelan finds her blood rushing from the adrenaline.

She allows herself to briefly smile – a genuine one – Shenhe's way. The other woman makes a noise of acknowledgment, but the simple action is enough to have Yelan grinning, even as she summons their map to her hands to assess their next target.

The Chasm is enormous, after all, and beyond their task to retrieve the Orbs, Yelan was tasked with writing reports of any changes to the landscape she noticed. It would easily take them over a week to achieve all their goals.

"Apparently, there's an Oozing Concretion beside our next target," Shenhe comments, peering at the notes Lumine had left them under the light of the Lumenstone Adjuvant.

"Well, that's a problem. We should backtrack to see if Jinwu can upgrade our Adjuvant. It's getting late, so we should probably be resting for the night anyway." Yelan clicks her tongue disapprovingly, flicking their map with a finger. Then, fully registering Shenhe's words, she scrunches her nose in distaste. "Also, never call any of those black sludge growths an Oozing Concretion ever again."

"But that's what Lumine called them."

"I don't care what Lumine called them." Yelan shudders. "Black sludge, dark mud, tumorous growths— anything is better than Oozing Concretion."

"But is that not what they are?"

"Shenhe."

Exasperated, Yelan whips her head up from the map around to glare at the other woman, only to find Shenhe already smiling smugly in her direction.

This woman…!

"That's a new expression on your face," Yelan comments snidely, dry as a Sumeru desert. "I will admit, I didn't take you as the type to fuck around with others."

Although her smile doesn't physically grow, the look in Shenhe's eyes brightens.

"I try not to make a habit of it."

"Oh, yes, that makes me feel so much better."

Pointedly ignoring her, Shenhe hums and turns in the direction of the exploration camp.

"Shall we head back now?"

"You're insufferable, darling."

--

After dropping their Lumenstone off with Jinwu, they settle in for the night, pitching their tent and setting up their cots in parallel before lying down to rest.

Most nights will become like this, staring at the tarp ceiling, conversation floating in and out unhurriedly, like a lazy stream, until either one of them drifts asleep first. 

Tonight, it is like this:

"The first time I went camping, I was with my father," Yelan says, in the mood to converse, and Shenhe is an attentive listener. She is good at talking, and even better at getting others to talk to her. But for once, her conversation partner is actually just that— a real partner, and not someone to pry information from, not someone who seems to view her from a strict business perspective. There's just something about Shenhe that makes her want to speak. "I asked him if we could poke holes through the top of the tent so we could see the stars."

Shenhe glances at her in mild amusement.

"That does not seem very practical."

"That's what my father said." Yelan snorts. "He asked me what we'd do if it rained. I didn't have an answer for that."

"He sounds like a wonderful father, though."

"He's a good man."

"Once, when I was a child, my father took me to the mountains and left me in a cave," Shenhe says offhandedly, her arms pillowed behind her head. "He left me there to die."

Immediately, Yelan shoots up into a sitting position and stares, flabbergasted, at the nonchalant woman lying on the cot beside her.

"You were what?"

"I was to be a sacrifice to an evil god." The adepti-blessed woman keeps her gaze upturned to the tarp ceiling, as though if she stared hard enough, she could see the stars beyond. "He thought that by sacrificing me, an evil child, he could bring my mother back." Shenhe's smile turns sardonic, yet another new expression. "Upon reflection, can I truly blame him? I had brought nothing but misfortune."

Yelan raises an eyebrow. "I know of the Divine Damsel of Devastation, and I have seen Yun Jin's appended version. Never once did it mention how the daughter was sacrificed."

"Yes." Shenhe nods. "I specifically asked her not to change it."

"Why?"

"Because I liked that more ideal, hopeful version better." Shenhe smiles sardonically. "I wanted to be the heroic figure from the opera instead of the coward I actually was."

"But then you saved Liyue Harbor, darling. Sometimes, life is just poetic." Yelan joins her in staring upwards. It has been cloudy recently. Vaguely, she wonders if the weather has improved at all. "Have you ever celebrated that? Well, no matter. I know crowds aren't your thing, but you're free to come to the Yanshang Teahouse whenever."

"Maybe I'll take you up on that. I'd like to think I've come a bit farther than the little girl trapped in that cave, desperate to survive."

"Honestly," the blue-haired woman says, summoning one of her Hydro dice to dance along her fingertip. She watches it spin once, twice, thrice, before settling on the face with two dots, "now that I'm aware of your history with caves, I'm surprised you agreed to come to the Chasm. Ningguang would've understood if you'd refused."

"She would have," Shenhe agrees. She closes her eyes. "But I did not need to. There's no need to fear the Chasm. I'm far stronger now, and I'm not alone."

Yelan simply watches her, leaning on her side.

"For someone so sure that they don't understand humans, you certainly are more reasonable than one." Yelan twists onto her back, closing her eyes as well. "But perhaps that's exactly why."

The only response she receives is the quiet rise and fall of Shenhe's restful breathing.

And Yelan notices, belatedly, as her eyelids blanket themselves over the cavern walls, that their tent smells distinctly of rainwater.

--

That night, much as she has on many other nights, Yelan dreams of playing chess with Ningguang. It's a scene she's seen before, both in reality and during restless nights, and it never fails to mess with her head— real memories and her imagination mingling together in confusing ways.

"Well, another loss for me." Yelan sighs in this dream, resigned as she watches her pieces be swept to the side, but she fights back a smile at the way this Ningguang's eyes glimmer triumphantly. "Who could've possibly foreseen this outcome?"

"Are you sure you're not just going easy on me?" Dream Ningguang asks teasingly, and Yelan hums a swift melody she'd heard at one of Yun Jin's performances.

"Of course not, Lady. You're just three steps ahead like usual."

Her loss had been genuine— she would never lie around Ningguang, couldn't even if she wanted to, but how can she complain about losing when the Tianquan looked so good while winning?

"Not always true," Ningguang remarks, reminiscent, almost distracted. "There were times when I found myself completely off guard."

Even in her dreams, Ningguang often gets a faraway look in her eyes, and Yelan sucks in a breath, knowing that the Ningguang in front of her is no longer with her.

Even in her dreams.

Where has she gone? Who is to say? The last Yelan had heard, a certain captain had docked on the shores of Inazuma, a ronin in tow. Ah, that is reality. Always the troublemaker, that one. Sometimes, Yelan wonders if she'd been louder, if she had made more noise, would she be able to hold Lady Ningguang's attention for longer?

"Yelan?"

Yelan blinks out of her reverie, her mind a mess of what is memory and what is dream, and Ningguang smiles gently, then, back from her tiny vacation.

"You played well, Yelan."

Ah, a dream. Isn't it?

And Yelan laughs, ragged and breathless and dragging a hand through her hair.

"Thank you. But maybe we can play cards next time. Or perhaps something with dice."

--

The next few days pass by swimmingly. More Orbs of Blue Depths are retrieved, plucked from their Husks by Shenhe before getting passed over securely to Yelan. They take their time traversing the dangerous territory, because despite the ease with which Shenhe carries herself, and the confidence Yelan holds in her own thrill-seeking abilities, you can never be too careful.

The Chasm is a gamble of its own, with paths intertwined and mingling with each other before veering off into highs and lows that are hard to keep track of. The map that Lumine's exploration team friend had provided is helpful, but more with general layout and less with actual elevation. Sometimes, paths drop or walls have to be scaled. It's a tangled mess, and Yelan wishes she could pull on one end of it like a thread, watch it unravel before her fingertips.

"We appear to be in the general area," Shenhe comments, bright eyes taking in their surroundings before her mouth tugs into a slight frown. Over the past few days, Shenhe's keen observation skills had sharpened amongst the rock formations, "but whether we plunge deeper into the depths or aim for the other side of this gorge is unclear."

"The trend of confusing terrain continues." Yelan makes a tsk ing noise with her tongue. "Hold the Adjuvant above me, darling? Perfect. I couldn't read the map properly with just one hand."

"You call me that a lot, recently," Shenhe comments offhandedly. Hovering over Yelan's shoulder, she moves the Lumenstone Adjuvant a bit to the left, noticing a pesky shadow hovering over one particularly important part of the map. "What does it mean?"

"Hm? You mean 'darling'?"

"Yes, that one."

Having successfully mapped the safest route through the Nameless Ruins, Yelan rolls up the map, thanking Shenhe with a pat on the shoulder. The slightly taller woman obediently steps back as Yelan allows the map to whisk away into light.

"I suppose it's a term of endearment," Yelan considers, one shoulder rising in a mild shrug.

After mingling around with a certain type of crowd in the Yanshang Teahouse for so long, charming patron after patron for information, such words had lost all meaning— sweetheart, honey, cutie, at some point, they'd all begun to blend together.

And yet—

"'Darling' just fits you, don't you think?" Yelan chuckles, reaching forward to sweep Shenhe's braid over her shoulder. "Because you're such a darling to be around."

"Is it normal to call others by terms of endearment?" Shenhe questions.

"I think it depends on who you are," Yelan replies.

In her best efforts to fit in with the crowd she desired to infiltrate, she'd observed their actions and mimicked their phrases. Somewhere along the way, it must've happened— the coy nature of the glamorous women who had intimidated a younger, more naive Yelan had somehow seeped its way into her bloodstream. Now, the shadier nightlife of Liyue Harbor is ingrained within her— bright lights, the smell of secondhand opium swirling in her lungs, and webs of deceit that only she can unravel.

"What about me?" Shenhe asks, casual and at ease. "Can I call you by a term of endearment too?"

Yelan simply winks and opts to pretend like the sudden leap in her chest is because they stand near another one of the Chasm’s high cliffs.

"You can call me whatever you want, Shenhe. All I ask is that you choose carefully."

--

"So what do you propose these things actually do?" Shenhe wonders aloud. Calamity Queller in one hand and Orb of the Blue Depths in the other, she scrutinizes their latest acquired precious object incredulously. "They're rather dull, I must say. And more purple than blue."

"That's what I said," Yelan says with a chuckle. She steps closer to Shenhe, the length of her bare arm brushing against the fabric of Shenhe's stylized garb. "Supposedly, collecting them will unlock some treasure, but apparently that's only Lumine's hypothesis. Ningguang's allegedly been conducting research since we've been down here."

"I see." Shenhe sounds impressed. "She is very ambitious."

"We have been too."

"That, we have."

"How about we head back to the surface tomorrow?" Yelan suggests, gingerly pocketing the orb with the rest of the collection. "If we leave in the morning, we should be able to make it back to the Harbor by nightfall. We've been down here for a whole week now, and while I personally don't mind the darkness, the lack of sunlight is getting to even me. We can go to the Glowing Narrows once we return."

"A bit of a break might do us some good," Shenhe agrees, nodding. "Perhaps you can report to Lady Ningguang while we are surface-side as well."

Yelan pauses. "Me?"

"You hold a special favor for her, do you not?" Shenhe stares at her expectantly, her comment spoken so nonchalantly that Yelan could've mistaken it for an offhand remark about the nonexistent Chasm weather. Her expression betrays nothing else. "I figured you would want to see her as soon as possible."

"What will you do?" Yelan finds herself asking, wanting to avoid the topic for even a second longer. "We can afford to spend a day or two."

Shenhe offers her shoulder in a shrug. It's a stilted motion, not quite offset by the crane-like woman's typical grace, and were Yelan more straightforward of a person, maybe she would have remarked on it.

"Probably I will get something to eat. Maybe I will go see Yun Jin, or see if Lumine is in the area. Maybe I will check in with Cloud Retainer. I will have more than enough time. Perhaps I could borrow your dice to help me decide."

It's strange, very strange— Shenhe's words, and her own. At some point in the past week, she'd grown used to that fickle word, 'we'. They would both make their way down to the Nameless Ruins, they would both begin the hike back to the exploration camp, and they would both help pitch the tent. It’s the longest she’s ever spent with a collaborator, and certainly one-on-one with anybody.

For once, she doesn’t hate it.

(She rather likes it. She’ll be the last to admit that, though.)

I wouldn’t mind eating with you first, is what Yelan almost says before the words die on her tongue, because for some reason, a simple sentence feels like a bigger admission than she was anticipating.

So she lies instead, because it is convenient.

"It'll be good if I go to Ningguang first."

(She’s not running from this, just setting it off. Yelan is a thrill-seeker, and she refuses to give in to such minute things as feelings.)

(But she’s so fucked.)

--

For the second time as of recently, it is raining when Yelan ascends to the Jade Chamber; storming, even. She’d said a temporary goodbye to Shenhe, promising to meet with the other woman in two days' time before they’d venture back to the Chasm, their second home by now. It hadn’t been a particularly scenic goodbye— lightning crashes down in the distance, most likely striking down in the Guili Plains, and Yelan has to wonder just what is happening over in Inazuma for the sky to be like this.

Ningguang's secretaries are talking amongst themselves by the entrance— Yelan catches them mentioning the Chasm, and she strains her ears to listen in as she passes by. The words Ruin Serpent and adventurers needed stand out the most, and she takes those key phrases and stores them away for later.

There is a boom of thunder, the clap of something ominous, and Yelan instinctively tightens her grip on the dice in her pocket. She gets the feeling that the rain is not a good sign.

Her assumption soon proves itself right.

"You came to the Jade Chamber in a storm?" Beidou's grin is nothing short of shit-eating. "You wanted to see me so badly?"

Yelan nearly stiffens at the sight, suddenly more acutely aware of the water that clings to her skin. It's only due to her practiced facade that she manages to save face, unwilling to clue the captain in on her sudden unease.

She's seen Beidou plenty of times before. She's never been phased by the captain, and on a good day, maybe they even get along. And there’s a special kind of awful feeling that sinks into the dark pit of her stomach, deeper than the yawning Chasm itself, to see Beidou, perched casually on the corner of Ningguang’s desk, perfectly dry as she stands, alone, covered head to toe in water.

It’s not Beidou’s presence that sets off her censor for unease, as surprising for her to admit that as that is— what’s even more jarring is the simple feeling of just how alone she is. Yelan’s traveled all over Teyvat, but nothing has felt this foreign. Lightning strikes outside, but the realization that she’s grown too used to Shenhe’s easy, casual presence somehow hits home even harder. She’s held her cards so close to her chest, kept a firm grip on her emotions, walls of lies but somehow this single woman wearing honesty like the red ropes looped around her shoulders has bypassed every single extra measure.

Companionship isn’t bad, but surely dependency is, right?

“Yelan?” Ningguang’s voice cuts through her thoughts, concerned. “Are you alright?”

It takes Yelan a moment to realize that she’d never responded to Beidou’s quip.

“Just itching to relay my findings,” she breathes, eyes roaming over how Ningguang leans into Beidou’s touch, the pirate woman casually stroking the Tianquan’s hair, and there’s a good chance that the captain herself doesn’t even realize it. Yelan sighs. Ouch. Alright, maybe that does still hurt a bit. “But I see that I arrived at a bad time. I shall take my leave.”

And maybe find Shenhe, too.

Idly, she tosses a dice high into the air, watching it spin about before landing on a five. Sucking in a breath, Yelan makes her decision.

Meanwhile Ningguang, in all her regal garb and clearly tired after a long day of meetings and just keeping Liyue afloat, still has it in her to look hesitant.

“Yelan, wait, you came all this way—”

“I insist.” Yelan's resulting chuckle is small and exhausted, but genuine enough nonetheless. There’s too much on her mind for this conversation. “This was a bad call on my part. Please, carry on.”

“No, wait—”

“Babe,” Beidou interjects, and Yelan just barely represses a wince. It's a low blow, even for the captain. “Why don’t you tell Yelan what we were talking about?”

Ningguang shoots her lover a stern look. "Beidou, that's too much—"

"You need that Ruin Serpent dead, right?" Yelan cuts in before Ningguang can say anymore. At the other woman's surprised expression, she plasters her signature smirk to her lips, turning to show herself to the exit. "I heard your secretaries talking about it on the way in. Don't worry your pretty little mind. I'll handle it."

--

(Yelan ends up looking all over Liyue Harbor. She doesn’t end up finding Shenhe. She gives up the search by midnight when she passes the Heyu Teahouse and hears Yun Jin's light laughter echoing out to the street.)

--

The door to the Yanshang Teahouse swings open, and Yelan doesn't look up, stares into the honeyed-brown of her whiskey instead.

"We're closed."

"You told me I was welcome here whenever. Or was I mistaken?" 

Heeled footwear clicks across the wooden floor, stopping at the bar in the corner where Yelan blearily peers up in her addled stupor. Immediately, the drunk woman softens.

"No, you weren't. You're always welcome here, Shenhe."

Shenhe's touch is gentle, and Yelan does not know what to do.

"Too much is no good for you, darling," Shenhe murmurs, a calloused yet gentle hand brushing her own, feather-light. A thumb swiping over the back of Yelan's ungloved hand, Yelan stares into iridescence, far too bright and intelligent for this late at night, but Shenhe's rough hands are terribly, terribly gentle and she feels herself burn under the other woman's gaze.

Her grip on her whiskey loosens. Shenhe takes the time to grab the half-full glass, sets it down somewhere that Yelan can't see. She doesn't even bother trying to find it— all she can see is Shenhe.

"You took my drink," Yelan mumbles.

"I did." Shenhe nods. "Thank you."

An incredulous raise of her eyebrow. "What for?"

"For letting me take your drink." Tilting her head as if confused about why Yelan would ask, Shenhe says such things as if it were obvious. "For humoring me."

Yelan shrugs. "You said too much was bad for me."

At that, a small, amused smile quirks at the corner of Shenhe's mouth. "Somehow, I do not think I'm the first to ask you to put down your glass."

"You are not."

Yelan still recalls her nights spent with Ningguang, drinking in the Jade Chamber. As much as Ningguang enjoys her drinks, the Tianquan would glare disapprovingly as she'd pour her own glass of wine, fully intending on drowning all mortal desires. Red wine lapping at the edges of clear glass, a pool of crimson at the tips of her fingers, staining her lips as something she cannot grasp sits across the table—

"You're the first success story, though," Yelan continues, intent on distracting herself from her thoughts now that she can no longer forcibly shove them down the drain along with her sanity.  "I will admit to that."

"Ah, I'm honored."

"You should be."

"Would I find success in helping you back to your place, too?"

Were Yelan in a better state of mind, she would have replied with something flirty, maybe witty. It's not every day a beautiful woman offers to help me. She would smile wickedly. Take me to bed while you're at it?

She doesn't do that.

"If you insist on helping yourself to my mess," Yelan replies instead, reaching for Shenhe in a manner she knows she'll find pathetic upon reflection in the morning. "Then please, be my guest."

But then Shenhe's hand trails upwards, and Yelan freezes. A cool, calming palm presses itself against her cheek; the refreshing pull of sinking into the ocean on a humid day. Briefly, Yelan's addled mind wonders if Shenhe remains cool due to her Cryo Vision, or if Shenhe received her Cryo Vision because of her cool demeanor— but then Shenhe's thumb moves, brushing over Yelan's bottom lip with the weight of clouds, and she is set alight once more, burning up the oxygen around them, her lungs forgetting how to function.

"What mess?" Shenhe asks quietly. The feeling of her hand grounds Yelan back to the earth and sears against her skin despite being cool to the touch. "I don't see anything like that."

Eyes shifting with the shadows, Yelan stares at an inconspicuous spot on the wall, past Shenhe's head.

"Maybe you're just not looking hard enough."

"Perhaps that is the case." Shenhe tips her head, curious eyes blinking slowly. A small smile flutters across her lips, amusement sneaking its way into iridescence. "Then I'll simply have to try harder. Until then, however, I think we should get you to bed."

"Mmm… Upstairs."

"Hm?"

"There's a spare bedroom upstairs." Leaning forward, Yelan's head lolls against Shenhe's shoulder. "For times like this, when I can't make it home."

Or when I need to hide.

But she might as well be naked under Shenhe's calm, earnest gaze. The luminescence is all-consuming, a siren song, refreshing rainwater, and Yelan closes her eyes and willingly drowns in it for the first time.

"I will bring you, then," Shenhe says softly.

"Stay with me?"

"Do you want me to?"

Even in her drunken state, Yelan hesitates. What does she want? She's not used to being asked.

"...I think I do."

"Then I will stay."

--

And so Shenhe does.

"Please let me know if I accidentally hurt you," Shenhe says, helping Yelan out of her usual outfit and into the spare sleepwear she kept in a nearby drawer. "I am still not quite sure how to be gentle."

Yelan pointedly looks away as Shenhe begins to change her own clothes, her face rapidly heating up to a boil.

"Lies," she utters out, hating how she falls apart in front of this woman. "Complete lies."

Shenhe laughs quietly. “Whatever you say. You act much cuter when you’re drunk, Yelan.”

The special intelligence agent wisely pretends not to have heard that.

“Where were you earlier?” She asks instead, watching Shenhe climb into the bed next to her. The sheets pool around her waist, shifting like ripples of water, and Shenhe’s hair, now unbound from its usual braid, spills over. “I looked for you around the Harbor, but you were nowhere to be found.”

“I was meeting with Yun Jin,” Shenhe replies. She rests her head on one pillow, patting the other for Yelan to join her in lying down. “I’ve been thinking about getting a place of residence for myself here in Liyue Harbor.”

That gets Yelan’s attention. She settles next to Shenhe and pulls up the covers to their shoulders.

“You want to stay?”

Shenhe hums, thoughtful. She props herself up on an elbow, regarding Yelan with a gentle gaze. “I have come to realize that Jueyun Karst is a place of residence, but I don’t truly have any place of my own, if that makes sense. The domain belongs to Cloud Retainer, and while I don’t mind the journey, the more friends I make here, the closer I want to be to the Harbor.”

Yelan inhales slowly, then closes her eyes and turns onto her side.

“That makes sense.”

They lapse into silence, the pattering of rain on the teahouse roof the only noise reverberating throughout the room. It’s a soothing sound— it reminds Yelan of all those nights in her childhood, spent falling asleep to the sound of storms. Throwing caution to the wind, she twists once again, facing away from the white-haired woman.

"With all the rain we're getting, there might be a flood," Shenhe finally murmurs. If she's at all bothered by Yelan's unusually prone figure, pressing into her side, she says nothing of the matter.

"Who cares?" Yelan mumbles in reply. She reaches behind her and tugs Shenhe's arm to drape over her waist. She doesn't open her eyes, but she can sense the smile that pulls at the other woman's lips nonetheless. "You'll be there to freeze it over. You would save us again, right, darling?"

A warm breath ghosts over the back of the blue-haired woman's neck, and Shenhe makes a contemplative noise as her arms tighten just enough around her waist. The scent of rainwater engulfs Yelan, cool and refreshing, so wonderfully mortal and grounding.

"This nation may end up being my demise one of these days,” Shenhe jokes.

"Nonsense," Yelan mumbles, sleep weighing heavy on her eyelids. "You survived an evil god. You've defeated a sea monster. You put up with me every day. You can do anything."

And as she sleeps into a deep slumber, Shenhe's final words of the night ring through the cloudy haze of her dreams—

"You were never a bother. You couldn't be even if you tried. Regardless, your wish is my command, Yelan."

--

A day later and they’re back in the Chasm, plunging down to the Glowing Narrows and it almost feels like a relief— a return to form, something tangible to grasp with the familiarity of their initial goal to work towards.

If Yelan were to be honest, the Glowing Narrows are her favorite part of the Chasm. With its bioluminescent lights, the hauntingly large mushroom at the center of it all that looms like a weeping willow, and the general tranquility of the calm streams that flow through, it somehow feels like the closest thing to open air in the entire mining system.

“It’s like Jueyun Karst,” Shenhe had murmured, always one to quietly take everything in.

“But more glowy,” Yelan had supplied, and Shenhe had laughed.

“Yes, but more glowy.”

And so naturally enough, of course there would be a Shadowy Husk nearby, prime for combat potential.

Whipping her bow out at blinding speed, Yelan summons a Hydro lifeline. The Husk lunging towards her, she quickly flicks out her hand, her threads wrapping around its giant lance before she dashes, extending the lifeline to wrap around its body.

All at once, she zips away, leaving nothing but a Hydro explosion in her wake, and the Husk groans as it stumbles to the ground.

Mentally cheering, Yelan looks over her shoulder only to find a gobsmacked Shenhe, the slightly taller woman staring right at her in a trance-like state.

And oh, it must be a crime to feel so satisfied.

"It's rude to stare, darling." Flashing a sharp grin in Shenhe's direction, Yelan takes the momentary stun to leap backward, out of range of the Shadowy Husk. "Would you allow me the pleasure of helping?"

Immediately, Shenhe snaps out of her reverie. Her grip tightens on Calamity Queller.

"Apologies. I will get to work at once."

--

"You fought well."

"What?" Startled out of her post-battle thoughts by the sudden comment, Yelan twists on her heel, schooling her features into something neutral to not give her surprise away. "Did you say something?"

Shenhe nods. "You fought well. All the times before this, too, I was thinking the same. I don't think I've ever seen anyone fight with a bow like that, ever." She pauses. "I would have imagined you'd received praise like this before, but judging by your reaction…"

Her words taper off, the other woman unsure where to go from here. Instead, her gaze fixates on the dissipating body of the final Shadowy Husk behind them.

"Ah." Yelan's hands open and close at her sides. It seems that neither of them know what to say anymore. She settles on a curt nod of her head. "I appreciate it. Despite how we’ve been traveling together for over a week now, I'm often alone on these missions, so I guess you could say I'm still a bit unused to hearing evaluations from others."

"That wasn't an evaluation," Shenhe says before correcting her. "It was praise."

"Is that so?" Yelan bites back a smirk, humored by the white-haired woman's words. Languidly, she twirls one Hydro lifeline around her index finger. "Then, by all means, do go on. I've always had a thing for praise."

Shenhe blinks.

"Is this what Yun Jin calls a ‘fetish’?"

She's cut off by Yelan's resulting laughter, and a wide, wide grin splits across the blue-haired woman's face. Her green eyes glimmer, shimmering in the light of the Lumenspar like a cat with a new toy.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" Yelan laughs again, reaching up to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. Then she winks, coy and teasing. "Perhaps you'll find out one day."

Meanwhile, Shenhe continues to stare, entranced.

"Your laughter is very beautiful."

Imperceptibly, Yelan exhales a breathless laugh, on the brink of something dangerously delicate.

"Thank you, Shenhe."

--

That night, they decide to set up camp near the Serpent’s Cave, full intentions of slaying the serpentine creature come morning.

"I will be honest," Shenhe declares as she drives in the final stake of their tent. A few feet away, Yelan deftly ties down one corner of the tarp. "As far as I was aware, I thought that you would be the one doing the tying."

As much as it embarrasses her to admit, it takes a moment for Yelan to get it— she tips her head back to laugh when it clicks.

"Say, do you know fan sheng, Shenhe?"

At the other woman's nod, Yelan summons a lifeline to her fingertips, tying a knot between the ends and letting instinct take over— teacup, ladder, cat's whiskers.

"Perhaps I was meant to do the tying, after all," she continues, twisting the thread around her index. "Seems fun."

Shenhe smiles. "Perhaps you were."

"And even when I was a child, I could untie any knot. So maybe it would be boring if I was the one being tied."

"Any knot?" Shenhe questions.

Yelan nods solemnly. "Any."

"That seems unlikely."

"We could find out together, if you want." Yelan smirks as they move away from the tent to sit around the firepit. "And don't play innocent— I won't trust you now that I know you understood my joke from earlier."

"But would that be fun for me?" Shenhe tilts her head, her expression the picture-perfect definition of virtuous purity. "I'm already tied up, and in red ropes, too."

“Oh, you’re absolutely awful!” Yelan laughs.

Shenhe’s small, triumphant smile speaks more than any of Liyue’s binding legal codices ever could.

“Between you, Beidou, and Ningguang, I believe I have learned from the best.”

“You make us sound like bad influences, darling,” the archer simply drawls in return.

But then Shenhe’s lips are turning to a small frown, her brow furrowing as she suddenly remembers  something.

"Speaking of Ningguang, I wasn't able to ask you before," because you were drunk, "but how did your meeting go?"

It takes Yelan a moment to answer, but when she does, she finds her shoulders hunching in, laughably self-conscious all of a sudden. “Honestly, it wasn’t much of a meeting. I was maybe at the Jade Chamber for five minutes before I decided to try to find you instead. But it’s fine— Captain Beidou was present, so I wasn’t very welcome there at that moment.”

"Oh."

Graciously, Shenhe says nothing more, clearly not wanting to press the subject further. She’s quiet for a moment, and Yelan shoots her friend a tired smile through the flickering fire before turning her gaze back to the way its sparks crackle up, up, up.

"Don't worry about it, Shenhe."

"Alright. Then, may I talk about something else?"

"You never have to ask. Not with me."

"Ah, that's right." With a heave of her shoulders, Shenhe makes a contemplative noise as she summons a Cryo talisman to her hand, staring at it reverently. "Do you remember when I told you of my red ropes, and how they keep me from feeling much of anything?"

"Of course." It's hard to forget anything Shenhe says— her voice has always been soothing to listen to.

"That wasn't the entire truth. It's just what I tell people when I don't want to go entirely into depth. You see," Shenhe smiles, her talisman fading, and she folds her hands, staring into the flames, "Yun Jin has this theory, and the more time I spend with her and the people I care about, the more I think it's true."

"Oh?"

"She thinks that I am able to feel strong emotions, just as any other human can." Shenhe clicks her tongue, a mirror of Yelan's own habit. "But she thinks that my emotions manifest in ways that I am unaccustomed to. And instead of learning to confront these emotions, I told myself that these red ropes, which were given to me solely to curb my violent tendencies, had actually robbed me of all feeling."

Frowning, Yelan crushes the urge to step to the other side of their fire, instead opting to mimic Shenhe's posture— she folds her hands, feeling herself hunch just a bit more.

"So, in reality…?"

"I do believe that I experience emotion just as any other mortal does." Shenhe nods decidedly. This was her truth. "If anything, the ropes might mute what I am feeling, but they never robbed me entirely. Instead, my time spent as 'unfeeling' were actually years spent neglecting myself. Because it was easier. Because… because it was safer. I had already been abandoned once. The younger, more frightened Shenhe didn't know what she would do if she grew attached, only to be abandoned again. And… she was scared— scared of becoming hateful and desperate as her father had."

Shenhe closes her eyes.

"I have learned that it is good to be selfish sometimes, but never did I want to become that selfish." Shenhe pauses. "It is because of this that I understand why he ended things the way he did."

"Oh. Wow." Nervously, Yelan laughs, swallows. She's unused to this feeling— Shenhe's iridescent eyes that were typically so gentle seem to prick at her here. She gets the feeling that Shenhe could always see through her. "That's probably the most I've ever heard you speak."

"And this is the most uneasy I've ever seen you act." Shenhe tilts her head, mouth quirking up. "It appears today is another day for firsts."

"You're terrible," Yelan states, which Shenhe looks immensely pleased about. "So, what you mentioned just now, that was…?"

"Food for thought," the other woman quips.

"I'd prefer not to do much thinking at the moment," Yelan replies drily. "We're going to fight a giant metal snake in the morning."

"Then save it for later," is the gentle response she receives. Shenhe picks up a stick and pokes the fire. "It'll be there even after we destroy the giant metal snake."

--

It is hard to sleep that night. The rumbling of the Ruin Serpent in the distance, with its metal body churning through the earth, keeps Yelan awake for longer than she'd like to admit. Beside her, Shenhe tosses and turns but otherwise says nothing, most likely out of consideration for the already restless woman lying parallel to her.

When they wake hours later, the tent is put away in quiet trepidation. The Ruin Serpent hasn't come any closer, but it's as if Yelan can feel the rumbling earth beneath her feet with more clarity. The lighthearted atmosphere from last night had gone— even Shenhe, who looks danger in the eye with a dangerously neutral gaze of her own, seems to be tense with anticipation.

Yelan has seen this thing before— hell, she had saved Lumine from it not too long ago. But that had been from a distance, and the serpent had been weaker. Now it burrows through the ground with a new vengeance, and as they approach the cavern it calls home, Yelan can feel it, like it's anticipating them, like it remembers her.

"What would happen if I died here?" Yelan wonders aloud, eyeing the dust cloud ahead.

"To the Ruin Serpent?"

"To the Ruin Serpent."

"I suppose I would get angry. And then I would kill it."

"By yourself?"

"I would manage if it was for you."

"If that's the case," Yelan cocks her head, expression uninterested but a certain ache in her chest, "then what would you do if I walked away right now?"

"Would I ever see you again?"

"No."

"This is very specific."

Yelan shrugs. "Answer it."

"Then I would kill the Ruin Serpent for you," Shenhe says simply. "And life would go on."

"And life would go on," Yelan echoes, even though the words settle uncomfortably on her tongue. She can't afford to think about that right now.

Instead, she takes a deep breath, her fingers smoothing over the indented faces of her dice, and sends a short, mental prayer that this risk is the right one to take.

--

Yelan has seen her life flash before her eyes before— it comes with the territory. She's a thrill-seeker, she asks Ningguang for the dangerous quests, and she requests to be relocated to terrifying places like the Chasm. She's faced demons and monsters, the most prolific of the Fatui, and the horrors of the Abyss.

But in this very moment, as she cradles Shenhe's prone body, hunched over and shielding the white-haired woman from the new carcass of disjointed gears and metal, Yelan has never hated anything as fiercely as this wretched Ruined Serpent.

The damned piece of machinery had definitely remembered her, and it had sprung from the earth to target Yelan specifically on more than one occasion.

It had been her fault. She was too slow, and Shenhe was not— her companion had taken the full brunt of a hit from the serpentine's tail, thrown against a nearby stalagmite where Shenhe had crumpled to the floor.

Yelan had seen red, and the Ruin Serpent was dead within minutes, at the mercy of Yelan's web of lifelines. With one problem down, the second had swiftly presented itself: the deep wound in Shenhe's torso would not stop bleeding.

"Shit," Yelan curses, her hands stained red. Even with emergency gauze and a makeshift larger bandage she'd made, the fabric ripped from the tarp of their tent and frantically repurposed, the flow from the gash refuses to be halted. She conjures more lifelines, binding the fabric tighter to Shenhe's waist in Hydro. "Fuck. This will have to do until we get back, so—"

"Yelan," Shenhe interrupts, her breathing ragged, and Yelan is torn between telling the injured woman to rest, and begging her to keep her eyes open. "Yelan, it's okay."

"No, it's not," Yelan retorts harshly. This isn't how it should be, this isn't it at all. She is the one who has prepared herself for death in lonely places, not Shenhe. Never Shenhe, who has fought so hard to survive, who has come too far to reach her end in a terrible place like this. "You've just discovered humanity again, you— you're going to move to Liyue Harbor."

"Please tell Cloud Retainer that—" Shenhe groans, her head lolling into the crook of Yelan's neck. "Leave me and tell her I'm sorry. And tell her," she breaks into a cough, "Tell her that she was right, about me, and my mortality. Lady Ningguang, too— she was—"

Her voice breaks into another cough.

"Bullshit." Yelan's mouth presses into a hard, determined line, her jaw clenching hard. "You can tell them yourself."

"Yelan…"

"There's no sky down here." Cradling Shenhe close, Yelan takes a shaky breath and rises to her feet. She will bring them out of the Chasm even if it will kill her. A cycle of life and death be damned, if she needs to defy fate, then so be it. "At the very least, you deserve to die under the clouds your master called home."

That's a lie. I'm sorry. I've told you many lies. Please don't die. Not here. You've escaped death in a dark place like this before, so, please—

"There is no rain here either." Shenhe smiles as if there isn't a gaping hole in her side. "I can see you clearly, Yelan. I have always seen you."

A shudder wracks through the blue-haired woman's body.

"I know you have," she whispers, and Shenhe's head lolls against her shoulder again. Heaving a deep breath, Yelan squares her shoulders, already calculating the shortest route back to the surface. "My poker face has never been as good as yours. I must be an open book to you."

"Not an open book," Shenhe corrects with a weak smile. "Just a new favorite to read."

"You're the worst."

"I am aware."

"There's no sky down here," Yelan repeats, already calculating the shortest path back to the damned rickety elevator.

"There will still be a tomorrow, with or without me."

"Shut up," Yelan snarls. "Not for me, there won't."

There's a storm in her arms and in her heart. It aches and aches, a miasma in her chest each step forward she takes, but Shenhe is dying, the terrible scent of copper mixing with rain, and she only has her own recklessness to blame so she hoists Shenhe's tired body higher and continues to put one foot forward in front of the other.

This will pass, this must pass.

--

They're saved by a miracle.

"Shit, we were too late!" The Yuheng's loud voice echoes through the cavern, and Yelan startles to look up at the sudden sound, two hasty pairs of feet racing over stone. "Mona, hurry!"

"Right behind you!"

"Lady Keqing?" Yelan says in shock, and in her arms, Shenhe groans but says nothing. "You—"

"How are Shenhe's injuries?" Keqing demands, skidding to a halt in front of the injured duo. Behind her, there's a young woman Yelan only vaguely recognizes— Mona Megistus, an astrologist from Mondstadt, and from Yelan's brief prior research, someone close to the Yuheng.

"She's bleeding out," Yelan says hastily, her voice low. She collapses to her knees, carefully cradling Shenhe in her embrace and she gestures frantically to the makeshift bandage, secured around Shenhe's torso with a lifeline. "I did my best, but I'm no healer, and I—" She chokes, overcome with a sudden feeling of dread in the presence of others. "Please, if there's any way you could help her more than me, I—"

"Shhh." It's Mona who steps forward, smiling comfortingly. "This won't be her end, it's alright."

"If Mona says so, then it must be the case," Keqing adds, resting a hand on Yelan's shoulder before turning to her partner. "Mona, can you transport us back to the Harbor?"

"Of course, I can." The astrologist nods, her hands already hovering over Shenhe. Then she halts in place and looks curiously at Yelan. "Anywhere in mind that you'd like me to aim for? I might not be able to match a specific location, but I can bring you to the general area."

"The Yanshang Teahouse," Yelan quickly supplies.

Mona nods dutifully, then shoots a fondly exasperated look at a worried, pacing Keqing's way.

"Keqing?"

"Huh? Yes?" Keqing halts in place.

"Stand still," Mona scolds. "You don't want me to accidentally leave you here, do you?"

"Ah. Sorry." Keqing smiles sheepishly. “You know how I get.”

The exchange is so natural, so practiced, like the two of them have had this exact conversation hundreds of times. Yelan closes her eyes, remembers how just an hour ago, she was having similar banter with the woman passed out against her.

It's been a while since a gamble has gone this bad.

But there's no time to let the thought get to her head— before she knows it, a sphere of water is rising around the four of them, Mona's starry water sweeping them out of the Chasm and back to the bustling city they'd all found reasons to call home.

--

Yelan can’t find it in herself to relax— not even hours later, when Shenhe is safely in Yanshang Teahouse, tucked under the covers and a world away from the harm of the Chasm. Even as she profusely thanks Baizhu and his little zombie assistant, Qiqi, for saving her partner, she still can’t bring herself to sit still. 

Sitting downstairs from the room Shenhe had inadvertently taken over, Yelan’s leg bounces incessantly. She sits at one of the high chairs at the bar next to Keqing, who had stuck around to ensure that everything went smoothly, and the Yuheng doesn’t even try to hide her wary glances over at the stressed woman.

“I’m not going to have to confiscate all the alcohol to keep you from doing something stupid, am I?”

Yelan looks away and pretends to not have entertained the thought. “The sun’s still high in the sky. Who do you take me for?”

Her leg continues to bounce.

Keqing raises an eyebrow. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor.”

Yelan’s resulting laugh is devoid of humor. “Shenhe nearly died because of me.”

“But she didn’t,” Keqing replies.

“Also because of you,” Mona adds, striding into the room from upstairs. After Baizhu and Qiqi had left, not even fifteen minutes prior, the astrologist had kicked everyone out of Shenhe’s room. The last Yelan had seen, she’d gotten a glimpse of a few Hydro wards being summoned. “It was crude, but your method of slowing her bleeding worked wonders. Your quick thinking saved her life."

Letting out a staggering breath that she hadn’t realized she had been holding, Yelan’s shoulders finally sag, the weight of that metal snake finally relieving itself off her back.

“Good,” she breathes, burning beneath Keqing and Mona’s kindness. “That’s good.”

It’s with great interest that Mona continues to scrutinize Yelan. To her side, Keqing stifles a light laugh but otherwise says nothing, simply letting the astrologist do as she wishes.

Then, Mona nods. “Shenhe will live. You can trust me on that. I foresaw it in the stars and everything. You, however, should wait here until Baizhu returns in half an hour before you do anything. You look a little worse for wear— no offense.”

Yelan chuckles. “None taken.”

And it’s true— her lip is split, there’s a minor gash on her forehead, her entire body might as well be bruised, and Shenhe’s blood still mats the length of one forearm. She’d been operating on sheer adrenaline for the past few hours. It’s the worst she’s looked in years and she absolutely could not care less, not now, not any time soon.

Instead, she rises from her seat. “I’m going to see Shenhe now.”

“Then we’ll see ourselves out.” Keqing nods, her arm already linked through Mona’s. Still, the Yuheng smiles comfortingly. “You did well, Yelan. Even if things didn’t go as planned.”

"Don't praise me." Yelan shakes her head. "I hate praise."

"Really?" Mona giggles mischievously. She tugs at the brim of her hat, expertly hiding her eyes as her lips curve in good humor. "Just now, actually, Shenhe told me that you've always had a thing for it."

"That little traitor."

Mona's harmonious laughter is the last thing Yelan hears, and with that, the two twin-tailed girls take their leave.

--

When she enters, Shenhe is awake, staring out the open window at the bright, sunny sky above. Her expression is serene, and were Yelan to take in the scene at face value, she wouldn't have even known of Shenhe's injury.

"The sun is shining and I am stuck in here," Shenhe says, twisting in place to smile over at Yelan. "You will have to enjoy it for me, just for a little while."

"I'll carry you outside as soon as you're able to sit up," Yelan says, her throat dry. "We can sit on the roof."

"Will you teach me cat's cradle?" Shenhe asks.

"I'll teach you anything you want," Yelan replies instantaneously. "Just say the word. I can even teach you poker. You'll be the best player in all of Teyvat."

Shenhe smiles tiredly. She reaches up, palms Yelan's cheek and despite Liyue's summer heat pooling in from outside, the blue-haired woman shudders. Shenhe has always been cool to the touch, and there's something soothing about knowing that she's back to her normal body temperature— it hadn't been right, holding a feverish and suffering Shenhe.

And then Yelan feels selfish— even now, she keeps finding ways to take comfort in Shenhe, selfishly, without giving anything in return.

Ah, what an awful person I am.

"May I tell you something, Yelan?"

Yelan closes her eyes. She knows what is coming. "Say it, you insufferable woman."

"I think I'm in love with you." Shenhe pauses, then nods once, resolute. "Yes, that feels right. I am in love with you."

And Yelan is awful. She is awful because she has known, has seen the way Shenhe had started looking at her; has been bracing herself for impact. She is awful because she recognized Shenhe's feelings before Shenhe could even do so herself, and did absolutely nothing to prevent it.

There are many risks one should take in life, but someone like Shenhe does not deserve to settle for someone awful like her. And so, with one hand encased around the dice in her pocket, she feels the grooves of its numbers, six sides of fate, and continues to lie— it's a foolish thought, but maybe if she is terrible enough, Shenhe will see the truth.

"I hate you." Yelan opens her eyes and it's another lie. It carries no weight. "You're terrible. The worst."

"I know." Shenhe smiles, her eyes slowly drooping shut, no doubt from exhaustion. "You've already told me. That's alright, though. You don't need to be mine."

"You're the worst, darling," Yelan repeats.

"I know," Shenhe says again, and her small but honest smile never falters. "Please tell Ningguang that I say hello."

"What, you're not going to stop me from leaving before the doctor returns?" Yelan chuckles but the sound is hollow. She feels the yawning gap between her lungs grow wider, most probably rivaling the endlessness of the Chasm itself by now. On the bed, even all battered up, Shenhe continues to be as beautiful as ever. "You really are a terrible person."

Shenhe laughs then, and it sounds musical despite her hoarse voice. "You are just as known for testing fate as I am for being brash. Who is there to stop us?"

--

"Yelan!" Ningguang's worried shout echoes through the Jade Chamber, and Yelan grins tiredly as she leans against a nearby wall, exhaustion deep in her lungs but adrenaline keeping her awake.

"Don't worry," Yelan says in a blasé fashion, pushing herself up as Ningguang hurries over with wide, frantic eyes. Beidou is on her heels, worry creased on her forehead. "I'm just bruised and a bit tired. I'll live another day." She grins at Beidou. "Unfortunately."

Beidou opens her mouth to retort.

"Don't say anything to that," Ningguang snaps, and Beidou's jaw closes shut immediately. The white-haired woman grumbles under her breath, tugging Yelan towards her and steering the archer to her office. "Honestly! If you two dare start picking fights right now, you'll both be sent to Bubu Pharmacy to be forced to eat bitter herbs."

"Shenhe says they're not so bad," Yelan comments. "I could probably—"

Halting in her fussing, Ningguang shoots her a sharp, warning glare, and Yelan quickly closes her mouth and joins Beidou in looking thoroughly reprimanded.

"Honestly! If you had just stayed and listened you would've heard me say that I was sending reinforcements down to help you with the serpent," the Tianquan grumbles. “None of that ‘I work better alone,’ nonsense, because I know you’ve grown used to Shenhe.”

Yelan swallows, her mouth suddenly dry. “It’s because she was with me that she got hurt to begin with.”

The response she receives is an incredulous look from her old friend. 

“Yelan, I know you,” Ningguang says, low and quiet. “You go on and on about life and death, how it’s a cycle. You talk about risk-taking, but only when you are the only one involved. You’re scared of hurting others. You’re afraid of loss, and you’d rather direct all danger to yourself than put someone else through that. Now, given Shenhe’s history, are you saying you wouldn’t throw yourself in harm’s way if she had been in your position?”

Yelan is silent for a moment.

“That’s unfair,” she finally says, a pitying smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. “You’re unfair, Lady.”

Ningguang rolls her eyes, but the action is affectionate and familiar.

“And you’re still a fool. Stay here, I’m leaving to get my catalyst and some towels to get the blood off.”

“Catalyst?” Yelan’s brow furrows. Still, she doesn’t get up from her chair, opting to sink into its comfy cushioning further instead. “Since when were you a healer?”

“I’m not.” Ningguang huffs, waving her off at the threshold of her office. “You’ll still need to see a real physician. But after a few too many colleagues started returning home with grave injuries more frequently than I’d like, I made sure to invest in a Prototype Amber.”

As she leaves the room, Yelan wordlessly shoots a questioning glance in Beidou’s direction. The pirate captain immediately averts her gaze defensively.

“Hey, don’t look at me when you’re all banged up like that,” Beidou grunts. Then she pauses. “But for the record, Keqing is the real walking disaster.”

Yelan smirks. “Sure.”

And then they lapse into a silence so thick, Beidou’s claymore would even struggle to slice it. She’s never quite sure what to say around Beidou— they’re not enemies, nor truly rivals. Ningguang likes to joke that they’re at each other’s necks, but in reality, it’s more that they’re prodding, like children filling up water balloons, poking and irritating to see when it would pop.

“Ning scolded me after our last talk,” Beidou says, finally breaking the hushed air. Yelan glances over at her in surprise, and is even more shocked to see an apology in the captain’s single, deep ruby eye. “Said I went too far, and I agree."

“Beidou,” Yelan sighs, “it’s fine.”

“Is it, though?”

A shrug. “I never said anything about having feelings for Ningguang, you just had eyes. It’s not like I was particularly subtle.”

“Still.” Beidou shifts in place in her own seat, frustrated. “Wasn’t right of me. Ningguang said you never would have told her. I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that.”

"Ningguang is right as always." Bobbing her from left to right, Yelan smirks sardonically before dragging a hand through her hair. She's grateful she keeps it short now— no doubt it would have been a tangled mess had her hair been any longer. "I never did plan on telling her."

"I used to think that was cowardly." Beidou twiddles her thumbs. "I still think it's cowardly. But I also think you were trying to be realistic."

“We knew each other from before her Qixing days.” Idly, the archer summons a coin to her hand, tossing it up and down. “After all this time, nothing had changed. And then you came along, and I knew it was a losing battle that I didn’t have the energy to fight.”

“And here I thought you were Teyvat’s biggest gambler.”

“Part of being a gambler is to know when to hold your cards.” Yelan smiles with something mysterious. Her shoulders feel lighter. She sits a little straighter. “You can’t lose fights you don’t begin.”

“Or you could gain nothing,” Beidou replies.

“But I gained Shenhe,” Yelan raises. “Even if I didn’t realize it, it just took some patience.”

“Well. You seem to have got me there.”

Yelan just laughs. It’s like the undoing of a thread, looped together like cat’s cradle. A seemingly impossible knot, unraveled at the seams of a single tug, more effortless and painless than she ever could have imagined. She thinks of the Chasm, and the rain, and the winding streams of Jueyun Karst, and red ropes wrapped around broad shoulders.

"I was always jealous of you," Beidou admits, low and gruff. Tired. "I thought I was her sole exception. I hated how I found out that I wasn't. You were an entire part of Ningguang’s past that I had no part of, and that made me frustrated."

Yelan shrugs, because she's tired of keeping up her pretenses too. "Lady Ningguang was never mine to have. Anyone in Liyue could tell you that. She's only ever had eyes for you, captain." She inhales, imagining the scent of rainwater. "And that's alright. That's more than alright."

“You seem to have found someone else to be alright with.”

“Truthfully, I want to be back with Shenhe more than anything right now.”

“Why’d you choose to come here, then?” Beidou asks, curious. “It could have waited.”

“I guess because I needed some sort of closure.” Yelan leans her head back, letting it bump against the hard wall. "And maybe a reminder that Shenhe's not going to disappear once this quest is over. The sooner I deliver these orbs to Ningguang, the sooner whatever I have will become real."

"But hasn't it always been real?"

Yelan clicks her tongue, but there's a warm fondness budding in her chest, blooming in a rough place like the Qingxins of the Guyun Stone Forest. "I suppose so. But with the way she acts sometimes, I'm not entirely convinced Shenhe isn't some made-up delirious daydream."

It’s Beidou’s turn to laugh. “Sometimes, I question the exact same thing.”

When Ningguang returns, Prototype Amber in hand, Yelan finds herself unexpectedly obedient. She lets Ningguang mill about her like a concerned, buzzing bee, and she rolls her eyes in time with Beidou when the Tianquan begins yet another tirade about how no one in the Harbor seems to have any concept of self-preservation.

(“You were ready to toss your second Jade Chamber at Beisht, Ning.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Beidou.”

“Yes, love.”)

And—

(“You’ve really changed, Captain.”

“Shut it, Yelan.”)

By the time Yelan rises from her chair, her hair now properly brushed and skin devoid of blood, the sun has already begun its descent across the sky. "The hospitality is appreciated, but I must be going now. I have a few choice words to say to Shenhe."

Ningguang only shakes her head, smirking as she holds out her hand. “Don’t break down in front of her.”

Yelan scoffs as she passes over all eight other Orbs of the Blue Depths. “Who do you think I am?”

--

The dying sunlight is warm on her back as she makes her way through Liyue Harbor’s bustling streets. Vendors mill about, entirely unaware of what had gone down in the Chasm, just mere hours ago. It feels surreal. She passes the Heyu Teahouse, hears Yun Jin singing, thinks about Shenhe, and contemplates visiting one of Yun Jin’s shows alongside the white-haired woman.

But then for a moment, something Shenhe had said back in the Chasm trickles to the forefront of her mind. Her prior good mood suddenly souring, as she approaches the front steps of Yanshang Teahouse, it continues to worm around in her brain, incessant and annoying and it makes her stomach churn in ways that no close encounter with the Fatui Harbingers ever has.

She takes out her dice, rolling it with the flick of her wrist.

Six— a high number. She should really be more honest with herself.

Yelan takes a moment, thinking this nagging notion through, and what she finds is a hateful, uncertain, and foreign feeling.

And as she pushes open the door, making her way up the stairs, Yelan vows to squash it.

--

"What have you done to me?" Yelan demands, striding into Shenhe's room with new vigor, and there's only the mildest flicker of surprise in the white-haired woman's eyes before it gets overwritten with amusement.

"What do you mean?" Shenhe tilts her head, repressing a twitch of her lips as Yelan tosses her white fur coat to some far corner.

"Ever since I met you, my head has been doing things." Her words come out almost angrily, and Yelan is absolutely furious at how much she wants to take Shenhe by the hand and drag her out into the sunlight outside. "I keep overthinking every time we speak. Suddenly, I’ve started feeling insecure. I hate it."

"What is it that you keep thinking of?"

With all the patience in the world, Shenhe stretches out a hand. It trembles where she holds it midair, and Yelan sucks in a breath but does not hesitate to rip off her gloves and take Shenhe's hand within her own.

"Before, you said that if I left you, your life would go on," Yelan says, growing quiet. The air is still, and she imagines an arrow piercing through, Calamity Queller slicing past all pretenses. "But you said you were in love with me."

Shenhe nods, steady like the mountains. "I did."

"Then, could you really move on, just like that?"

Yelan's eyes narrow where they bear a searing hole onto the wooden floor beneath them. It's shit, she thinks, to feel this damn insecure. This isn't who she is, and yet Shenhe has made her into this person— slowly, gently, with the careful hands of a sculptor, molding her into someone softer at the edges, wishing to fit against Shenhe's own feather-light hold.

But then, Shenhe is laughing. And the sound is bright, like the sunshine outside, the perfect weather drifting across Liyue Harbor on birdsong; a single, white cloud dancing atop the breeze; a crane soaring high over the mountaintops.

"Yelan." Shenhe chuckles, and maybe Yelan's heart stops because in all her time mingling with the brightest lights Liyue has to offer, it's the first time she's heard something like this, something so beautiful. "Yelan, all I ask is that you listen to me, since we often say things to each other that we don't mean—it's just who we are. But right now, I am being serious."

She pulls Yelan closer, kind eyes softening as Yelan clambers onto the bed like a child, awkwardly positioning herself next to Shenhe in a way that doesn't harm the other woman's injuries. There is exhaustion rooted deep in her bones, weighing down on her mortal frame, but the mattress is soft and Shenhe is scooching to give her ample space, and— Shenhe looks like a god in this place, lying in a pool of sunlight streaming in from the window.

But then Yelan is swallowing, always caught off guard when meeting Shenhe's honest and open gaze.

"I lied," Shenhe says simply, her endearing, small smile turning a shade shy. Her hands tug insistently at Yelan's wrists. "I thought you had eyes only for somebody else, so I believed that it would be in your best interest to… not have to take my attachments into consideration. But I lied, Yelan. Now that I know what it's like to walk with you, I do not know what I would do if you were to leave me, so please— Please continue to stay by my side." Shenhe smiles broadly. “And know that I would do anything for you.”

“Anything?” Suddenly flushing, Yelan ducks her head. "Then… Call me that again."

The other woman raises a questioning eyebrow, that unfairly attractive subtle amusement twinkling within luminous orbs like starlight.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"You're terrible."

"You realize I learned this all from you, yes?"

Yelan falls silent.

Then—

"That night, when I was drunk. You called me something as you took away my drink. Say it again."

"Ah. Yes, I do recall now."

Shenhe's smile blooms softer than a flower, quiet yet wonderful like the first snow, blessing the ground with something sacred from the heavens. Yelan watches the curve of her lips like a sinner in prayer, starving for her own form of retribution— she craves her.

This— this is a gamble worth dying for, and Yelan is ready to bet her life.

"Darling," Shenhe calls, and Yelan's resulting laugh is choked on something like a sob. Nevertheless, her white-haired crane breathes with the expansion of the universe, covered in a soft, powdery snow, and Yelan presses forward towards it all— feels the fresh scent of rainwater enter her lungs and call itself home.

There is no need to hide.

"Darling," Shenhe calls again, and she has taken that word, plucking it from the casino floors of the Yanshang Teahouse and claiming it as her own, something softer and more earnest, a crane taking flight; gentle, gentle, gentle. "Kiss me."

And so, Yelan does.

If she were a writer, she would equate it to a plunge into the dark and finding something beautiful at the bottom, at the root, of it all. Were she more of the sentimental type, she would look back on this kiss much, much later, and say that it probably felt like dipping into a cool river on a summer’s day, burning beneath the sun. And if she were someone more eloquent in general, maybe she would even go as far as to say the earth beneath her turned on its core, the Leylines realigning to right itself at just the right spot for only the two of them.

But Yelan is not a writer, nor is she very sentimental, nor very eloquent.

Instead, she lives in the moment and realizes that all that matters is this— Shenhe’s mouth pressed against hers, the lengths of their bodies lining up, the cool linens beneath them, and Yelan winding her arms around Shenhe’s neck.

(One day, she will roll a dice and decide to write a novel about this, because she’s spontaneous like that.

Right now, what Shenhe says is this—)

“That was very nice,” Shenhe says when they pull apart, her face the most flustered it's ever been, and Yelan laughs, loud and clear.

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“I will need to be in the Harbor more often.” Shenhe looks stumped for words, and it’s adorable to watch her fumble. “So— so we can do that more often,” she finishes lamely, but her iridescent eyes brighten when Yelan hums and traces nimble fingers over her waist.

"I'm a bit lonely here," Yelan admits, because right now is the time for honesty. "I know it comes with the job, but sometimes, it's hard."

"It doesn't have to be. I'll follow you," Shenhe says, quiet and steady, unchanging as Jueyun Karst. "I followed you into the depths of the Chasm. I'll follow you to the ends of the world. Or I'll wait for you to return home. Whichever you'd prefer, really. You don't have to be alone."

"There's an empty room in my house," Yelan says, her face buried in Shenhe's neck. “My actual house. Not this spare bedroom above the teahouse. I know how much you want a space of your own, but—”

“Yelan,” Shenhe says, smiling. “The fact that you’re there would make it all the better.”

And Yelan doesn't say any more, figures that she doesn't need to— she simply smothers a smile against the crook of Shenhe’s neck. She’s careful of the other woman’s injuries, already thinking up ways to trick Shenhe into staying in bed for the next few days and not reopen her wounds. And there are some new things to consider too: they must furnish Shenhe's new room, for starters, and they'll have to learn to live with one another, but after traveling through the Chasm together, how hard can it be?

And once that’s all been dealt with, well—

This storm, too, shall come to pass.

 

End.

Notes:

thank you so much for reading!! oh god I cannot wait for yelan to get released in a few days so I can finally pull for her haha good luck to everyone, and thank you again!!

i'm on twitter @pyresque if you wanna chat Genshin or other video games, and here’s the carrd lol

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