Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prologue

Dean Winchester, a man who has a string of meaningless one-night stands in his past but desperately wants to be in a loving relationship. Sam and Dean were born and raised in Lawrence Kansas, together they run a small working cattle ranch in Montana. They moved to Montana when Dean was 18 with Bobby, Ellen and Jo when they opened a second salvage yard. They never spent much time in the surrounding towns, they preferred to stay out in the open land that the salvage yard and Bobby and Ellen’s house sat on. Dean lived with them and worked for Bobby until he was 23 and had saved up enough money to live out his dream. Sam, along with his new wife whom he met during his time at Stanford, joined him a few years later after he graduated with a marketing degree. Dean was able to purchase a 1000-acre piece of land near Livingston Montana.

Dean ran the animals, ordering, and business management side of the ranch while Sam, with his marketing degree, ran the IT/social media and website for the ranch. Sam helped Dean with the cattle as well. Their ranch sat at the bottom of rolling hills and a mountain range. It started out low on some flatter more open land, then continued up into the hills and mountains with forests and open grass lands. There is a stream that runs through the far end of the ranch as well, it is one of Deans favorite places. It made it perfect for grazing cattle and horses alike. It was 1000 acres of pure heaven to Dean. Plenty of room to go out and ride without being disturbed. And plenty of room for a family, the thing Dean wanted most in life but would never admit to it. They were able to build 2 separate houses on the property. A 3-bedroom house for Sam and Eileen, and one for Dean that was a 4-bedroom house with a large office and a big front porch. Dean would again never admit it, but he built the house with the hope of one day filling it with a partner that loved him and the sound of little feet running up and down the stairs. Soon after, they were able to build a small barn for the few horses Dean kept, and some pastures for the cattle and turn out.

Castiel Novak, a lonely, broken businessman from Manhattan New York. Castiel was tired of being in the same big city that has always seemed to cause his so much pain. On a whim he decides the best thing to do is to sell his downtown condo, quit his mundane, high paying job, and move to the middle of nowhere to seek refuge and a place to relax, to find himself. Looking to turn his life around and find a happiness he has never thought possible. Until a few hours after he arrives, a familiar, scruffy looking cowboy literally runs into him in an old, dark roadhouse; his life is forever changed.

Chapter 1
Owner of a Lonely Heart

It was a chilly September morning in the hills of Montana. Dean was up early checking on his small heard of cows from the back of Zeppelin, his black Quarter Horse.

"Damn, it’s not usually this cold just yet." He grumbled to his horse, zipping up his Carhart the rest of the way; the wind and cloud cover chilling him to the bone. "I'm glad you’re starting to get your winter coat in buddy," he said to Zeppelin, patting him on the neck.

As he finished checking the fencing for the main pasture, he thought about what he was going to do that night. It was Friday and his brother Sam had been pestering him all summer to actually go have a drink at the local bar, Harvell’s Roadhouse, instead of either working behind the bar with their surrogate mother, Ellen, or working on a blue 1983 Dodge pickup down at Singer Auto and Salvage, owned by their surrogate father Bobby Singer.

Dean arrived back at his house around 9am to his brother waiting on his front porch. "Heya Sammy!" He dismounted and went about untacking his horse.

"Hey Dean. How were the cows this morning?" Sam asked as he stood up, walking down the stairs and went to pet Zeppelin on the neck.

"They were good. We should be getting a couple calves come spring. The girls seem to have liked the new bull." Dean said walking to the barn about 50 yards from his house.

"Sooooo you coming with me and Eileen to the bar tonight? And I don’t mean as a bartender Dean." Sam admonished, walking next to him heading into the barn to try to convince his brother that he should take some time off.

"Ahhh come on Sam. You know I love being behind the bar, serving beer, and screwing with Jo till she threatens to fight me." Dean joked, a smug smile crossing his face as he made sure his horse had plenty of hay and water.

Jo was Ellen’s daughter from her first marriage before she married Bobby. She had grown up with the boys, they were the brothers she never wanted but did not know she needed. Sam rolled his eyes and leaned against the barn door frame, all too familiar with his brothers and Jo’s antics.

"Seriously dude, you need some time off! Take a fucking night off and come get drunk with your brother and sister-in-law. You know Ellen and Jo won’t mind you taking one night off from hogging the jukebox." Sam teased, try to take a different approach.

Dean shut the stall door and leaned against it. "Hey! Everyone loves my jukebox picks," Dean frowned, slightly offended.

"No one wants to listen to the greatest hits of mullet rock all night." Sam jabbed with a laugh.

Dean decided to ignore that comment and groaned. "Uuuugghhh! Fine, I'll meet y'all there around 7. I promised Benny I’d stop by and have dinner with him and Andrea at the restaurant."

Sam smiled and pushed off the door frame. “Great! I'll tell Eileen. I'm holding you to this Dean,” Sam pointed an accusing finger at his brother, “Don't bail on us, you deserve a night out. You have worked every day for the past 4 months without a breather." Dean could hear the concern in his brother’s voice, he couldn’t deny that he was starting to concern himself.

Dean's smile faded as he fidgeted with his horses’ halter, he turned to face Sam. "I know. I know, I'll be there.” He said as he watched Sam walk away towards the door.

“You better!” Sam yelled as he walked out of the barn. Dean started to feel that lonely feeling creeping up on him yet again. He looked down at the leather halter he was holding and sighed before hanging it up and going about the rest of the morning chores.

Dean was very happy that Sam was lucky enough to find someone who loved him for who he was at such a young age. He would never admit that he was a little jealous of the love they shared. Dean had a girlfriend in high school, Lisa that he loved very much but it just was not meant to be. They wanted different things and parted ways as friends before heading off on separate paths. Over the years he has had many different girlfriends and the occasional one-night stand but nothing very serious.

When Dean was 10 years old his mother, Mary Winchester, was in a fatal car accident. Mary was a great mother and Dean's biggest supporter. She loved her kids and husband with everything she had. In the year that followed Mary’s death, his father John Winchester turned to the bottle. John went from a loving husband and father to a useless drunk who could not hold down a job. Bobby and Ellen had been childhood friends of Mary's and they were concerned John was not properly caring for the boys. As they soon found out, Dean had taken on the responsibility of caring for a 6-year-old Sam and was also trying as hard as a 10-year-old could, to take care of a newly alcoholic and abusive father. Within 6 months Bobby and Ellen had full custody of Sam and Dean, although John could see them at any time. John was a mean drunk, and his rage was usually aimed at Dean. Even if it started towards Sam, Dean would always step in to protect his little brother. The boys had a good life with Bobby and Ellen. They were well loved and had 2 amazing parental figures out of them, but John was still in the picture.

One night when Dean was 16, John caught his flirting with one of guys on his baseball team. John screamed at Dean in a rage, called him names and told him he would never be a real man. He told him he would be alone for the rest of his life. At the time it reduced an already scared Dean to tears. That night, when Dean came home really upset, he told Bobby and Ellen everything. Bobby had gotten into a fight with John over his shitty parenting the next day. After the fight with Bobby, John would only ever make a passing comment here and there about his disapproval. Dean was scared and confused after that, but 2 weeks later a new girl moved to Lawrence. She was 1 year younger than Dean, her name was Charlie Bradbury, and they instantly became best friends. Dean found that he could talk to Charlie about anything, she was able to help Dean realize that it was ok to be different. Since Charlie was a lesbian Dean became her wingman at school parties, and they would hangout every day. After Dean had graduated high school, Bobby and Ellen moved the boys to Montana to get away from their father. By the time Dean was 20 his father had drank himself into oblivion and had died of liver failure. The boys were sad because after all, he was their father, but they also seemed to be relieved that their father was no longer suffering and able to be with their mother again. Besides, they still had the family that raised them, but most importantly, they had each other.

After John caught him with that boy and screamed at Dean as a teenager, he never considered having a boyfriend again. He knew he was Bisexual from confiding in Charlie, but he was afraid of what his father would think. So, he had a couple girlfriends and flirted with girls, but he was never content with the few relationships he had. By this point he resigned himself to the fact that he would be single for the rest of his life and be the fun uncle to Sam and Eileen's kids. He knew Ellen and Bobby did not care as long as he was happy, and he didn't think Sam would care either, but it just never came up. Little did Dean know that his whole life was about to turn upside down, in the best way possible.
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After Dean made sure the horses were all fed, watered and warm in their stalls, he went in to make himself some breakfast. While he was cooking his eggs, he called Ellen to let her know he would be at the bar for pleasure tonight instead of work. "Hey Ellen! How are you this morning?” The phone resting between his shoulder and side of his face as he poured some coffee into a cup.

"I'll be doing better once Bobby finishes fixing my truck and I can quit driving that damn minivan." Ellen said in a huff.

Dean chuckled as he could hear Bobby in the background grumbling something about a part taking longer to come in. He sat at his kitchen island to eat his breakfast. "Don't worry, it’s supposed to come in this morning, I'll help him fix it this afternoon. I just wanted to let you know that I finally gave into all Sam’s whining and agreed to have some drinks with him and Eileen tonight instead of working the bar if that’s ok."

"Of course, it is Dean! You need a break; you've been working nonstop for..."

"Yeah, yeah I know. I've been working for 4 months straight." Dean interrupted with a grumble as he sipped his coffee.

"That's right and your brother isn't wrong. Don't worry about tonight. Have some fun with Sam and Eileen, I'll get Bobby or Ash to help out." Ellen replied.

"Sounds good Ellen. See you tonight then. Tell Bobby I'll be at the shop in a few."

"I will, be safe. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye." After Dean hung up, he finished his breakfast and headed out the door. It was going to be a long night.

He got into his 1967 Chevy Impala, sliding into the driver’s seat of the familiar car. He looked at the passenger seat and found himself wishing he had someone riding shotgun next to him. He sat, just staring for a few seconds before he pushed the thought from his mind and cranked the engine.

The Impala roared to life "Hey Baby. Let's get to work." Dean breathed in the smell of the old leather seats of his beloved car, calming his nerves and started down his mile long driveway.

Chapter Text

As Dean pulled into Bobby's Salvage yard, he had Led Zeppelin blaring from the Impala speakers. He parked and walked towards the garage where he knew Bobby would be, working on a client’s 1971 Ford Pinto.

"Hey Bobby!" He calls out as he pulls his heavy Carhart off and put on his coveralls, shivering when the chilly air met his warm skin briefly. It was colder this September than it had been the last few years, but it was starting to warm up a bit.

"Hey Dean. That part came in for that 83 Dodge pickup you've been working on. I'm gonna need your help with Ellen's truck this morning before she decides to make me sleep on the couch. My worn out back can't take that." Bobby said rubbing his back and slamming the hood of the car closed. Dean guffawed at the remark.

"Aawww she wouldn't do that." Dean replied as he grabs his tool bag and the large box with his truck parts in it.

"Oh yes she would!" Bobby Exclaimed, "You don't live with us anymore, she's a lot meaner than she was when you boys were living here."

Dean continues to chuckle as he gets to work on his truck, remembering back to his teenage days when Ellen would threaten Bobby if there was something that needed to be fixed but he was putting it off. The sleeping on the couch threat always did the trick after the one time she kept her word on it.

"Ok then let’s get to work. Help me get this truck running then we will fix Ellen's."
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Dean and Bobby were able to fix Ellen’s truck before she needed to head out to the bar. Ellen and Bobby live in a house behind the salvage yard, so before she left, she made them some sandwiches for lunch.
"What time you are meeting your brother and Eileen tonight?" Ellen asked Dean while climbing in the cab of her truck.

"About 7. I'm fixing to go home to clean up and change before I go to Benny's. Been promising him and Andrea I'd come to the restaurant for dinner for a while." Dean was currently covered in grease from head to toe from working on his truck all day, he desperately wanted a shower first.

"Ok well you better hurry. It’s already 4pm." Ellen pointed to the clock on the garage wall.

"Shit! I didn't realize it was that late!" Dean exclaimed as he almost fell over trying to hurriedly take his greasy coveralls off.

Jo laughed at him as she rounded the corner and saw him struggling. "Lose track of time again?" She asked with a smug smile. Dean glared at her as he hopped on one foot, struggling to get his boot out of the leg of the coverall.

"Why don't you just get ready here? I'm sure you still have some clothes in your old room." Jo suggested, rolling her eyes as she got into the truck.

"Ellen, you think I still got something to wear here?" Dean asked her just to make sure Jo was not trying to trick him.

"Yeah honey, there's something hanging in the closet. I was putting a box up the other day and saw a black t-shirt, jeans and a blue and black flannel. There’s some extra men’s soap in the bathroom cabinet for you, so you don't have to use Jo's and smell like a flower." Ellen joked.

"Thanks. I'll see y'all tonight." Dean waved goodbye to them and turned to ask Bobby, "You coming to the bar tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Plus, I would like to keep my head on my shoulders for a little longer." Bobby chuckled. He would be helping tonight so that Dean could have a night off.

"Alright, see you soon." Dean snorted as he started to walk away. "By the way I’m taking the truck tonight to make sure it will run. Cool if I leave the Impala here for the night?"

"Yeah, that's fine!" Bobby confirmed as he closed the hood of the car he was working on.

Dean headed into the house and up the stairs to the room he and Sam shared many years ago. He opened the closet and sure enough there were the clothes Ellen had told him about. He grabbed them and went to the small main bathroom to shower. After he was done, he got dressed and went downstairs to warm up the truck. Thankfully, it started up right away. He had rebuilt this truck from the ground up for the last 6 months. He had been working on the fuel pump and fuel line for the last week and it seems to have paid off.
Now if it'll stay running for the rest of the night. Dean thought as he climbed in the cab and pulled out towards Benny's.
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Dinner with Benny and Andrea went well. It had been a few weeks since Dean had seen them, and this dinner was overdue. Dean had met Benny right after they moved to Montana, when he joined a local amateur baseball team. They quickly became friends when they would sit on the bench during games, Benny telling stories of his Cajun family back in Louisiana. He would often cook for Dean when he was trying to perfect a recipe (Dean often blamed the loss of his visible six pack to Benny's cooking). Benny always aspired to own his own restaurant, and with the help of Sam and Dean he was able to purchase property and open his restaurant. The Winchester's, Bobby, Ellen and Jo were very loyal friends and customers, frequenting the Cajun joint a couple times a week.
It was 6:45pm by the time Dean was on his way to the roadhouse, he was extremely full of the amazing meal Benny provided. He was unsure of how he was supposed to form a coherent thought let alone fill his stomach with alcohol. He had sent Sam a text letting him know he was on his way; it was quiet on the roads for a Friday night. This meant it was probably going to be a quiet night at the bar too. For this, Dean was grateful. It made him feel better about not working even though he knows they do not mind. The Roadhouse was not a place that many tourists visited, they mainly stayed in town and in the bars there, but the local crowd was always fun. Dean knew most of the people that came in regularly. There were, of course, the locals that only came in every now and then, but it was always pretty relaxed.

Dean is tapping the steering wheel of the old truck to the beat of some Bob Seger's Night Moves when he pulls into the parking lot of the Roadhouse. It is right at 7 and he parks next to Sam's Prius and heads inside.

"Haya Sammy!" Dean yells while shrugging out of his heavy coat. He hangs it on the coat rack and strides over to where he sees Sam and Eileen sitting in the booth in the back corner that they lovingly call the Family booth.

"Dean!" Sam says and stands up to greet his brother. Eileen squeezes past her husband to hug Dean hello. Once they all sit back down, Sam slides across a beer he ordered for him.

"How was dinner with Benny and Andrea?" Eileen signs and speaks.

Eileen was born deaf; she can read lips and she taught the whole family sign language. Sam picked up on it quickly and Dean knows enough to get his point across if she is unable to fully read what he is saying, although he is trying to improve. Lucky for Dean and Bobby, she was taught from a young age to speak while she signs. She was accepted into the family right away, Ellen, Jo, Bobby and Dean loving her immediately. She was sassy and independent, often having to remind Sam, (who could be overprotective) that she could handle herself. Dean was always amused by this. He loved his sister-in-law and he protected her as well, but she could pull her own weight on the ranch, and he was willing to bet he would have a hard time against her in a fight.

“It was good. Really, really good. Benny outdid himself again.” Dean answered, sighing heavily as he took a sip of the beer Sam had pushed towards him.

Dean had not realized how emotional he was about not having had a serious relationship until he spent a few hours with Benny and Andrea, and now spending the evening with Sam and Eileen. In his mind he saw a faceless figure sitting in the booth next to him, having a beer and laughing with his brother and Eileen. He absentmindedly looked at the empty seat next to him while he listened to Sam say something about a vet bill for one of the cows. It was not until Sam was snapping his fingers at Dean that he realized Sam had been saying his name in search of a response to what he had said. Dean shook his head to rid his mind of his thoughts.

“Are you ok, Dean?” Sam asked concernedly, eyebrows knitting together like they always did when he was worried.

“Yeah sorry, I’m fine. Just tired I guess.” Dean explained, looking up at Sam, plastering his best fake smile on his face. “What did you say about the vet bill?” He asked, wanting to keep the subject away from himself.

Sam was not stupid; he knew his brother better than Dean knew himself. He could tell something was bothering him. He just didn’t know what it was. “I said how much was the vet bill for Betsy. I need to add it onto the expense file for this year.” Sam said still looking concerned.

“Oh… it was 300 dollars. Doc gave some meds for her, so it was a little more than I thought.” Dean answered while picking at the label on his beer.

“Ok, I’ll add it on in the morning.” Sam said and looked down at Eileen for help.

“So, did you get that truck up and running yet?” Eileen asked Dean. At this question, he brightened up.

“Yeah actually!” He perked up with more enthusiasm. “I drove it tonight to make sure it’ll keep running before I get too excited.” Dean laughed.

“That’s great Dean.” Eileen said while simultaneously signing. He nodded and downed the last of his beer and went to stand up.

“Well, I think it’s time for some music, and some shots.” Dean slapped the table and winking as he walked over to the bar. Glad to be out from under the scrutiny of his brothers concerned gaze, he greeted some of the locals that came in often. When he made it to the bar, he took a seat.

“Hey Ellen!” Ellen turned around and smiled at Dean.

“Hey honey. What can I get for you?”

“Ummm, let me get 6 shots of whiskey and 3 more beers. And give me some quarters too.” Dean slid over a 1-dollar bill with his most charming smile.

“Oh god no, don’t do it mom.” Jo sarcastically remarked to Ellen when she came through the door to the left of the bar that led to the back room.

Dean and Ellen both rolled their eyes; Dean out of slight annoyance, and Ellen out of laughing at how they turn back into teenagers when they get together. His music picks were not that bad. At least it was not Sam’s lousy music.

“Don’t worry I won’t pick the same 5 songs as last night.” He laughed, grabbing the tray of beer and shots, and scooping up the quarters. He made his way back to the booth but stopped midway at the jukebox to pick the next song. He flipped through the country music section and picked Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn. He picked the tray back up and headed to the table.

“ All right I got more beer, and 6 shots. 2 for each of us.” He announced while settling back into his seat and handing out the drinks. Sam was looking at him with a confused look only Sam could give. Dean did a double take at his brother before asking, “What’s that look for?”

“What look?” Sam inquired innocently.

“That look. That’s, that’s ‘confused Sam’ look.” Dean gestured towards Sam while opening the beers and handing them out. Eileen stifled a laugh at her husbands’ expense and Sam snorted.

“I’m not confused… I’m…” Sam hesitated, “I’m curious why my living and breathing classic rock brother just put on an old country song.” Sam admitted while staring at Dean, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Come on Sammy, I wasn’t born under a friggin rock. I know there’s other good music out there. I just prefer classic rock to everything else mostly.” Dean said seriously.

“I’m just concerned about you Dean. For the last 4 months you’ve done nothing but work, make shitty jokes, drink and….” Sam hesitated, frustration seeping into his voice, he tried to figure out how to make words out of his thoughts that would not piss off his brother. “I haven’t seen you genuinely smile or heard you laugh in what seems like years.” He concluded with a concerned look, voice low now.

Deans never been good with his feelings; He knows it, Sam knows it… Anyone who is close to Dean knows how hard sharing his true feelings with someone is. He always thought he had to hide his emotions for his father. John made him feel like showing any sort of emotion was weak and cowardice. The only way John knew how to handle his feelings was to drown them in the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Something Dean tended to do when life go to be a little too much for him to handle. He did not much like that about himself, but he figured that if it was not hurting anyone but his liver, then to hell with it.

Now, Dean sat across from his brother and Eileen, both waiting for his response but all he could do was pick at the beer label and try to come up with a joke to mask the fact that this evening was becoming a little too much for his emotions to handle.

“What am I supposed to be doing other than work? Huh? Dress in drag and do the hula?” Dean snapped. “I don’t know what you want me to say Sam.” He took another sip from his beer and averted his eyes away from his brother.

Sam gave him his famous bitch face and Eileen laughed at his Lion King joke, laughing so hard she spit a little beer out.

“No, Dean! I want you to talk to me.” Sam’s voice grew louder as did the emotion behind his words. “Stop acting like everything is fine, like you aren’t moping around and avoiding situations where you have to be around us, Bobby and Ellen, and benny and Andrea an…...” Sam suddenly stopped his ranting at his brother, eyes wide in the new realization he just made.

Dean was shocked at his brothers’ sudden interest in his emotions. (Sam was always interested… Dean is just blind sometimes.) So, he sat there. Waiting and desperately hoping Sam did not just come to the realization that Dean was in fact, lonely.

Oh fuck. Dean thought, swallowing hard.

“Holy shit…” Sam whispered, falling back against the booth, a smug smile on his face. Dean downed both his 2 shots and one of Eileen’s.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, smacking his hand when he went for her other shot.

Dean sent her a “sorry” look, then turned his attention back to Sam.

“Your lonely.” Sam stated like he was telling him he won the lottery. “You’ve been different ever since you turned 30.” He concluded.

“No Samsquatch, that’s just your imagination.” Dean said flatly, rolling his eyes. He knew Sam now had his number; he was just trying to delay the heart to heart he knew was coming.

Sam smirked, ignoring the childish nickname his brother had just called him. “It all makes sense now.”

“What makes sense Einstein.” Dean asked exasperated. It was not really a question, just a way to delay the inevitable.

“The change in your music taste, you constantly working, trying to avoid being around happy couples…” Sam pointed an accusing finger at Dean and then the empty seat next to him. “The complete zone out while you stare at the seat next to you with a sad, far off look on your face. Forgetting to tell me about how much the vet was. I just can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” Sam finished a little winded.

Eileen nudged Dean’s foot under the table and nodded towards Sam, telling him it was time. The cat was out of the bag, it was time to talk.

Dean gave her a feeble smile, “Your right Sam. I have been different lately, and I am sorry if it’s been worrying you. I’m 30 years old, Sammy.” Dean said slowly, crossing his arms on the table and leaning on them, looking his brother dead in the eye. “I’m 30 years old and do you know how many long-term relationships I’ve had in that time? hm?... One…” Dean raised a finger up to get his point across.

“One relationship, with Lisa. Sure, there’s been a lot of one-night stands but… but that’s not a relationship.” Dean looked down at his hands fidgeting on the table as he felt the burn of tears behind his eyes.

“Ya know when I was 16, dad. He… He caught me flirting with Mike from my baseball team after a big game….” He looked down, running his fingers over his chin and through the thick beard that covered his face. He felt a tear fall as the memory of that night came flooding back into his mind after having buried them for so long. He wiped the tear away and continued.

“He screamed at me, shoved me against a wall and told me I was a piece of shit son, and I would never be a man. Never be happy and never find someone to love because no one would want me… He was drunk of course.” He took in a sharp breath at the painful memory that still plagued his mind.

Sam’s jaw dropped open, stunned at Dean’s confession. He had no idea this ever happened.

Dean sniffled and continued, “I shoved him off me and told him to fuck off. I went home and told Bobby and Ellen. That’s why both dad and Bobby had black eyes for a week after. They got into a fight when Bobby went to confront him about it. After that I still, for some stupid reason cared what dad thought and I went out with Lisa and all those other girls.” Dean took a deep breath and looked directly at Sam, “I realized after dad died, that a weight had sort of been lifted off my shoulders. like I could finally be myself…. But I got busy with working and getting the ranch up and running… And didn’t know that the hole I felt in my life was from not having someone that would ride shotgun in the Impala with me and listen to the same 5 albums over again… Ride down to check fences with me and have a beer with my favorite brother and his beautiful wife.” Dean gestured to Eileen with a tearful smile.

“Thank you, Dean.” She signed with an encouraging smile.

He took a sip of his beer then went on, “I’m scared Sammy. I’m scared that I missed the person I was supposed to be with. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t need my house to be as big as it is, but I built it with sharing it with another person in mind…. Fuck how did this night turn out like this? Me spilling my fucking guts like a 12-year-old.” Dean voice faltered. He downing the last of his beer.

Sam chuckled, and Eileen reached over to take Dean’s hand. Dean loved that not only was she his sister-in-law, but also his friend. “We will help you find someone. Your still young, maybe if you took a night off now and again, we could be able to find you a date. And I am really sorry that happened with dad. I had no idea. I just remember being told bobby got a black eye from throwing someone out of the bar and well, dad always had black eyes.” Sam shared apologetically.

Dean appreciated that his brother wanted to help him, that he accepted that Dean was Bisexual without his having to say it in so many words. It was the first time he had even considered breaching the subject of his sexuality with his brother; even though he knew Sam would except him without so much as maybe a smug ‘I knew it’ grin plastered on his face. He was sure Sam had figured him out years ago, so he never felt the urge to tell him.

“Thanks Sammy.” He mumbled.

Sam nodded his acceptance with a crooked smile. “Ok, well now that it’s settled that we are going to help find you a date, I think Eileen and I are going to head home. “Sam announced while standing and helping Eileen out of the booth.

“Awww party poopers!” Dean hollered, he was starting to feel tipsy. He decided he would stay and eat a little something and drink some water to sober up before heading home. And if that did not work, he would sleep on the couch upstairs in the apartment above the bar.

‘’It’s after 8 and we have to be up early.” Sam chuckled.

Dean stood up to hug his brother and Eileen. He didn’t realize it had gotten so late. “Be safe driving back. I’m going to stay here for a bit. Maybe arm wrestle Jo or something.” Dean quipped.
Sam smiled wryly, “Ok, don’t let Jo throw your shoulder out of place. I’m not getting out of bed to come pop it back in at 3 in the morning like I did last time.”

Dean threw his head back laughing at that drunken memory. That was a good night. “I won’t. See ya Sammy, Eileen.”

Dean waved as they left. He went over to the jukebox to pick another song, this time he picked Africa by Toto. When he turned around towards the bar, he was drunker than he thought, taking the turn a little faster and wider than he thought and slammed right into a hard body that fell to the ground.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” dean exclaimed. He reached down to help the man he knocked down up. When he pulled him up and locked eyes with him, his mouth fell agape. He was suddenly lost in eyes as blue as the sky and as deep as the ocean.

Chapter Text

Castiel Novak, he was lonely in his busy life in New York City, even though he was a very successful businessman. There was just something missing in his extremely routined life. His family owned a large law firm in downtown Manhattan. His absentee father, Chuck and his verbally abusive mother Naomi, ran the company with an iron fist. They wanted their 3 children to follow in their footsteps and become lawyers and work at the company. Out of their 3 boys, only 1; the oldest, Michael, wanted that life. The middle child, Gabriel, wanted nothing to do with the company. Gabriel was a very free spirit and never stayed in one place for very long. He spent a lot of time traveling. Castiel would join him on those trips on occasion. Once Castiel graduated high school and moved into his college dorm, he spent very little time with his family aside from Gabriel, whom he considered not just his brother but also his best friend.  Gabriel would often take up for Castiel when Michael would relentlessly pick on him. Michael was 12 years older than Castiel, so he was an easy target for him.

An outsider looking in would think that Castiel had everything he wanted. He had an executive position that paid well, he owned his own inner-city condo, and he owned an Audi R8 he only drove when going out of the city for an extended time. But no one would be able to see all the pain he went through as a child, and how lonely and broken he was. Because even though he was all those things, he trained himself to be content with it. That is until one-night he hit rock bottom and ended up drunk on Gabriel's doorstep. Gabriel suggested he take a break and go on vacation. Castiel decided he would take his brothers advise to the extreme and quit his job, sell his car and condo and move to the mountains in Montana. 1 month after he showed up at Gabriel's, his condo was sold and he sold his car, and now Gabriel is taking him to the airport to start his new life.

Castiel sat in the passenger seat of Gabriel's car on their way to LaGuardia airport. He absentmindedly bounced his leg and picked at his lips, an anxious habit he has had since he was a kid. The thought of starting a new life had him excited yet on the verge of throwing up his breakfast simultaneously.

"Dude, do you mind," Gabriel turned to Castiel, chuckling. "you're shaking the whole damn car bouncing your leg like that.”

Castiel looked up and realized they were at a red light; he noticed his brother was right. He huffed out a sigh, his cheeks turned a slight pink from embarrassment, "sorry, I didn't realize."

"Cassie, when I said take some time off to relax, I didn't mean sell everything, quit your job and move halfway across the country to some podunk town in... Where exactly are you going again?" Gabriel asked Castiel as he drove through the busy city streets.

Castiel turned to look out the window and watched as the city continued to move around him, completely oblivious to his absence. He watched the angry taxi drivers, the pedestrians shouting into their phones and families gathering at restaurants for a meal. He felt a pang of jealousy that left just as quickly as it arrived at the sight of happy families coexisting. He would never have something like that, he thought.

Castiel shook his head as if to clear those thoughts and rolled his eyes, " I told you, I'm moving to Livingston Montana. I don't exactly know where yet. I'll find a place once I’m there." Truth be told Castiel just wanted to leave the city that had caused him so much pain throughout his whole life.

 Gabriel looked at his brother with some concern and asked, "Out of all the places you could go, why specifically Livingston?"

Castiel turned away from the window, took a sip from his travel coffee cup before looking to his brother, "Do you remember that camp dad sent me to when I was 8 because he didn't want to deal with me being in the house over the summer?" Castiel took another sip and looked back out the window. In his mind he was reliving his time at camp. Gabriel nodded.

"Well, it was in Custer Gallatin National Forest, not far from Livingston. I had an incredible time and always wanted to go back, but dad never let me return. I haven’t been to the area since." He admitted, fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

Gabriel was in shocked at the admission, he was staring blankly at his brother, mouth slightly open. Cars started honking at him to go when the light turned green, and he had not noticed. "Oh fuck." He cursed under his breath and stepped on the gas, speeding down the busy New York Street.

"I never knew daddio sent you to camp." Gabriel shared, shock still clinging to his voice.

"That's because you were 18 and busy drinking and hitting on every girl you saw." Castiel remarked pointedly with a snort. He and Gabriel did not get close till he was about 10, then he took Castiel under his wing when he saw they were similar and hated what their parents had expected of them.

"I'm glad you got to have that experience little bro. Big pappa never sent me or MR. Perfect to any camps, so I'm happy you got to have at least 1 good childhood experience." Gabriel said with a smile. He really was genuinely happy his brother had a happy memory.

"It was great until dad pulled me out a week early without any warning....” Castiel paused. “I made a great friend while I was there, and I never got to tell him goodbye...... I never even got his last name to try to stay in touch." Castiel concluded sadly while looking at his lap, picking at the hangnail on his thumb. He had never told anyone this before and he couldn’t understand why he was admitting this all now. Was it the weight of what he was doing? Was it that it was Gabriel, his brother and best friend; the only confident Castiel truly had? Or was his past finally catching up to him and he just didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought? He didn’t care anymore if the people he worked with thought he had lost his mind for quitting his job, or what anyone thought for that matter. He was doing this for him, for his sanity.

 All Gabriel saw while looking at his brother was the scared, shy child he once was. Cas always put on a brave face but Gabriel could see right though it. He felt so bad for his brother who never really had any friends until he was in his senior year of high school. Even then, he kept to himself mostly. He was quiet and reserved, the result of his childhood treatment.

 "I'm so sorry Cassie.... I know your childhood was hard and you never really had any friends. I can't imagine how hard that was for you." Gabriel commented with real sincerity in his voice.

"Thank you, Gabriel. that means a lot." Castiel muttered, surprised by his usually goofy brothers’ sincerity.

"Yeah, yeah enough with the sappy feelings," Gabriel teased with a laugh. "At least shoot me a text when your plane lands. And maybe keep me posted so I know your alive and the wilderness didn’t claim you for itself."

 Castiel threw his head back with a roar of laughter. Come to think of it, he realized that was the first time he had laughed in he didn’t know how long. "Of course, I will.” He agreed.

 Once they arrived at the airport and Gabriel parked the car, he stepped out to wrap his brother in a warm embrace and promised to come visit once Castiel got settled. Castiel said his thanks, slung his bag over his shoulder, took a deep breath and headed into the terminal and towards his new life; unaware of the great things in store for him.  

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Castiel's plane arrived at Bozeman Yellowstone National Airport around noon. The cold September wind was blowing hard as he got into a cab. He asked to be taken to the nearest car dealership. While he was traveling to the dealership, he sent Gabriel a text letting him know that he had arrived safely. He had to get a car, so he did not have to rely on cabs while he was trying to get settled. He brought a duffle bag, and his computer bag with him. He sold most of his furniture before he left except for some wall décor, which was being shipped to him in the next few weeks along with the rest of his clothes and personal items. The cab dropped him off at a Toyota dealership in Bozeman. Castiel had saved up a good amount of money over the last 5 years that made it where he would be able to pay rent, take a whole month off and afford a car note. He came to this dealership intending to buy a small SUV, but he fell in love with a slightly used, black Toyota Tundra TRD Pro Off-road. He had always liked trucks, he figured since he was moving to the country he might as well embrace it and buy one.

By the time Castiel got done at the dealership it was about 4pm, he realized he had not eaten anything since 6 this morning. He could feel (and hear) his stomach protesting at the lack of nutrients. He found a small diner and grabbed himself a burger and fries. As he ate, he contemplated where he might want to live and what he might want to do for the next month he has off.

“I wonder what the housing market is like here. Castiel contemplated over a root beer float. I probably should have checked before I moved. Oh well.” He shrugged his shoulders and took another bite of his burger.

After he finished eating, he got in his new truck, and headed to Livingston. Livingston was the town he had decided to stay in and make his new life. It was small but not too small, and it was not far from Bozeman and a few other surrounding towns. Once he got to Livingston, he picked the Historic Murray Hotel and asked if there were any good bars around town. The front desk clerk told him about some tourist spots but when he stated that he was looking to find something where the locals go since he was moving there, the clerk told him about a Roadhouse called Harvelle's out on an old country road west of town. It was a bit of a drive, but it sounded promising. Castiel thanked the clerk and took his key card. After he got into his room and put his bags down, he took a second to change clothes before he left to go find this bar.

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It was about 7:30 by the time he pulled into the parking lot of the roadhouse, he parked his truck next to an old 80s pickup truck that he admired as he passed it. The Roadhouse was an old wooden 2 story building that looked like it had been there since the pioneer days. But Castiel thought it had some charm. It was by no means run down, just looked like it had seen a lot of things in its lifetime. When he stepped inside, the first thing he noticed was the smell, the relaxed atmosphere and that there was an old jukebox currently playing an old country song he recognized to be Neon Moon. It smelled of wood, leather and whiskey.

 ‘I could get used to this place’. He thought, smiling. Though this was completely out of his element, it was the first time he felt like he belonged somewhere.

Relaxing into the place, he shrugged off his coat and hug it on the rack by the door. He walked over to the bar and sat down. There was a nice older woman at the bar that greeted him warmly.

 “Hey there stranger, what can I get for you?” She asked with a warm smile. Castiel was not quite sure what to order, he had never been to a place like this.

“I’ll just have a beer please.” He returned her smile.  

The woman nodded, turned around and filled a pint glass up with the beer that was on tap. She turned around and sat the glass filled with the amber liquid in front of him. She introduced herself kindly.

 “I’m Ellen. I own this bar with my husband. I don’t recall seeing you around here before. You just passing through?”

Castiel took a sip of his beer and shook his head. “No, not passing through. I’m moving to the area. I’m staying in Livingston for the time being and wanted to find a quiet, local bar I could come to occasionally.”

Ellen nodded and explained, “Well you picked the right place. We are generally a pretty quiet bar and its mostly locals that come in. tourists tend to stay in the towns and travel the main roads. I’m sure you’ll feel fight at home in no time. My husband, daughter and sons all work the bar during the week so if you have any questions, you can always ask one of us. My oldest boy knows this country like the back of his hand. I’m sure you’ll see him around eventually.” Ellen smiled at him as she pulled out a shot glass, poured some whiskey in it, slid it over to him and continued, “Here, this is on the house as a welcome gift.”

“Thank you, it’s been a long day. I hope to meet your son, I’m horrible with directions in new places.” Castiel downed the shot.

“Can I get another shot please. “He asked, suddenly feeling alone.

Ellen handed him another then excused herself, going into the back room, leaving Castiel alone with his thoughts. He took the second shot and slowly drank his beer as he browsed houses and apartments around the general area on his phone. He really was tired of living in apartments and condos, though he was unsure if he wanted to buy a house considering he had no one to share it with. After a while he realized it was after 8:15 and thought he better leave before it gets too late. With a heavy sigh he finishes his beer and threw some money down on the bar top. He stands up, staring at his feet he takes a step and suddenly runs into what felt like a solid wall, completely knocking him on his ass. He sits there for a second a little dazed then sees a hand reach out and hears a deep voice exclaim,

“Shit! I’m sorry!”

Castiel took the outstretched hand and got pulled to his feet. When he looked up, he got lost in eyes as green and bright as the most beautiful forest. They stared at each other for a moment, hands still clasped as the other man’s mouth hung open. Castiel watched as the cowboy shook his head slightly and began to speak. Castiel couldn’t form a coherent thought, his brain full of nothing but radio static as he watched the mouth of the scruffy cowboy forming a sentence he would have to ask him to repeat.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 Somebody to Love

“Didn’t see you there…” Dean hesitated, unsure that the man staring at him had heard what he said. Dean got so lost staring into the ocean blue eyes of the man in front of him, there was something familiar about this man; but he couldn’t understand what it was. It was his turn to not realize that the man had started speaking to him. he still had an iron grip on his hand though.

“Oh uh,” Dean quickly let go of the man’s hand, shook his head to try to clear it and stammered, “I... I’m sorry I ran into you. What were you saying?” He asked with a small chuckle.

“Oh, I said thank you for helping me up. I’m Castiel.” Castiel introduced himself, while trying to stay composed. Those 2 shots seem to have gone to his head suddenly.

“No problem…” Dean mumbled, staring at the blue-eyed stranger, “I’m either drunker than I thought, or you just have really beautiful eyes.” Dean blurted out, immediately looking down at his feet as he felt a blush creep up his neck.

 Yep, definitely to drunk. He thought as he mentally smacked himself upside the head for saying something like that to a complete stranger. He tended to get a little too honest when he was drunk, and he has not been around anyone but his dog or his family while drunk in a long time.

Castiel grinned, a quiet snicker leaving his throat.

 “My name is Dean. Let me buy you a drink since I knocked you on your ass.” Dean offered while walking around the bar to grab 2 beers. Looks like he would be spending the night in the apartment above the bar after all.

“That would be great, thank you.” Castiel sat down in the seat he had been occupying for the last 45 minutes. “I take it you know the owner since you are helping yourself to the beer?” he asked, trying to clear up his confusion.

Dean nodded, “you could say that.” He set the beers down and walking back around to sit next to Castiel. “She’s my adoptive mother. I work here a couple days a week to help out.” Dean explained.

“Oh, you’re one of her sons! She was telling me that if I came in enough, I would eventually meet all her kids.” Castiel exclaimed while taking a sip of his beer. In his peripherals he could see Ellen coming out of the back room followed closely by a young woman with blonde hair. They were talking quietly before they got to a table with what Cas could only assume were locals they knew.

“Yeah, she likes to show us all off to the newcomers.” Dean chuckled while picking at the label on his beer. “Castiel, you said your name was?”

“Mhhm.” Castiel nodded.

“That’s an interesting name.” Dean paused, contemplating the man next to him, “I like it. Mind if I call you Cas?” he asked.

“No, I don’t mind. No one besides my brother ever gave me a nickname before. I like it though.” Cas approved, a smile turning up the corner of his mouth.

Dean nodded too, sipping his beer. Cas seemed to be easy to get along with. He knows he has never seen him before. Dean hopes he will see him again.

“So, are you just passing through?” He asked, “I don’t remember seeing you in here before.” Dean took another long sip of his beer, trying to sound conversational and not like he desperately hoped the answer was no.

“No actually. I’m in the process of moving here from New York.” Cas stated looking at the beer label with more curiosity than necessary.

Dean choked on his drink slightly in surprise. He was relieved to hear Cas was staying, but also curious why he would move all the way to the middle of nowhere from New York City.

 “Damn! That’s a long way to move.” He remarked, wiping the dribble of beer off his chin with the back of his hand, “Why are you moving?” Dean asked, then quickly added, “if you don’t mind me asking.” He did not want to come off as rude for asking a possibly personal question, but he found it so easy to talk to this man.

Cas looked back up at Dean, contemplating how to put his reason for moving into a short response without seeming insane. He wasn’t just going to come out to a complete stranger and say,

 ‘Well my parents are abusive, I had a horrible childhood, I’ve only had one serious relationship that was also abusive and my parents forced me to stay in it because they didn’t accept that I was gay. Even though I seemingly had everything and was wealthy by my own design, I lost my fucking marbles one night, got super drunk and took my brothers advise to go on a vacation to the extreme and decided to sell everything I owned, quit my job, and move out to BFE. Oh, also I have bad trust issues from my parents and past relationship, so I don’t trust anyone except for one of my brothers who also happens to be my best friend…’

No, he could not say that. He didn’t want Dean to think he was crazy. So instead, he took a deep breath, and looked Dean in the eyes.

 “I just wanted a change of scenery. I have lived in New York my whole life. It gets kind of stuffy there after a while.” He laughed to keep the conversation light, hoping that the panic he was feeling inside was not showing in his features.

Dean nodded, thinking there may be more behind that answer than Cas was letting on. He was not going to pry though, that was for another conversation… God he hoped there would be another conversation.  

“Oh, that’s awesome. Must be a nice change from such a big city.” Dean offered a charming smiling. “How long have you been in town for?” He inquired.

“Uuuhhhh…” Cas looked at his watch, “about 10 hours.”

Dean was surprised again at the answer; he would have thought Cas had been in town at least a week or two since he was in a bar. But he wasn’t one to judge.

 “Wow, not much time to do anything then.” Dean swallowed the last of his beer, Cas finishing his off as well.

Cas chuckled, “No, not much time but I’m a very productive person. After I landed, I went to a dealership and bought a truck, got some lunch and found a hotel to stay in for the time being. Then I came here. I looked at a few houses and apartments that might suit me while I was drinking my beer. Before I bumped into you that is.” Cas concluded with a wink.

 Why am I flirting with someone I just met 45 minutes ago? This isn’t like me…. Maybe it is the new me? Cas thought. The thought was kind of scary but exciting all the same. After everything he had been through, Cas was not a risk taker. But something about Dean made him feel relaxed and feel like there might be a life here for him after all.

Dean laughed and looked down at the bar, his face turning slightly pink. He tries to regain composure and looks back at Cas.

“Well… It was a pleasure bumping into you.” He returned the wink and continued, “I’m glad I knocked you over. I was having a pretty stressful night and it was nice getting to relax and just talk.”

Cas beamed at his newfound friend, “I couldn’t agree more.” They stared at each other for a long moment, both being content in the amiable silence before Cas’s phone started to vibrate on the bar. It was a text from Gabriel. Cas tore his eyes away from the lush forest he was staring into to look down at his phone.

He saw the time, sighed, and announced, “Sadly it is getting late. I think I should head back to the hotel before it gets much later.” A sad smile crossed Dean’s face, but he understood. It was about time he headed to bed too, he had an early morning calling his name.

“Yeah, I should get home too. You said you drove here, right?” Dean inquired.

Cas nodded, realizing he was going to have to take a cab home since he had to many drinks for it to be safe for him to drive.

“Let me call you a cab then. You can leave your car here and come pick it up in the morning.” Dean offered, pulling out his phone and dialing the cab number he had saved for emergencies.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Cas started but was cut off by Dean saying, “I insist. I know the owner of the cab company and I can get your cab fare for half the price you would pay if you called. Plus, I got you more drunk, so I owe you one.” Dean winked at Cas again, sending him an infectious smile and started to talk to the man on the phone.

When Dean ended the call, Cas was beaming. He wasn’t used to people treating him with so much kindness. “Thank you Dean. I appreciate that.” A fond smile crossed his face.

“Don’t mention it.” Dean paused as they both got up to walk towards the door, “I take care of my friends.” Dean concluded while watching Cas pull on a long, tan trench coat. Ugly as it was, it somehow suited him.

“Are we friends now?” Cas questioned, hope clear in his tone. Praying he was not getting all the wrong signals from Dean.

Dean shrugged, a dazzling smile on his lips. “I don’t see why not. I knocked you down, I bought you a drink… you’ve met my mother, so I think that qualifies us as new friends.”

Cas smiled softly, “Well… if we are going to be friends, shouldn’t we have each other’s numbers.” He handed his phone to Dean for him to put his number in it. Dean’s face hurt from how wide he was smiling as he put his number in Cas’s phone and sent himself a smiley face to his own phone.

“There, now you can text me if you ever get lost or need directions to the best taco stand in town.” He handed Cas his phone back.

“I’ll hold you to that taco place.” Cas chortled with a shy smile. They heard a honk and looked out the window to see that a cab had just pulled up.

 “Thanks again. My truck is the black Tundra out front. I’ll be by in the morning to pick it up.” Cas was flipping his phone around in his hands, reluctant to leave.

“Tundra huh? Nice truck. You got good taste.” Dean observed. “Just tell the driver to put the bill on my tab.”

“I will.” Cas agreed, then turned to push the door open. before getting all the way out he turned back and called, “Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean’s heart started to race a little. He liked the sound of Cas’s voice, gravelly and deep. He found it soothing in the crazy that had been this evening. “Goodnight, Cas….” Dean replied, saluting him with two fingers as Cas nodded and walked out the door. Dean turned around and almost ran straight into Jo.

“Excuse you.” Dean bantered, walking around Jo.

She laughed smugly and called, “I just wanted to tell you that mom, Bobby and I think he seems nice!”

Dean rolled his eyes and kept walking towards the stairs that lead to the small apartment above the bar.

“DON’T FUCK THIS UP DEAN! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!” Jo yelled as he started to climb the stairs.

Dean flipped her off before he was out of sight. When he got to the door he smiled when he heard her laugh. She may be annoying at times, but she wanted him to have the best. Dean unlocked the door and headed straight to the couch, plopping down before pushing his boots off. He pulled his phone out and opened the chat to Cas and typed:

    Dean:

Get home safely.

    Cas:

I will. Thank you.

With that Dean shut his phone off and rolled over. He still could not shake the feeling that he knew Cas, those deep blue eyes seemed so familiar; but for now, he pushed that to the back of his mind. That night, instead of having nightmares; he saw the mysterious blue-eyed man sitting at his kitchen island sharing breakfast with him. what an odd yet exhilarating dream.

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                                    POV: CAS

Cas sat in the cab on the way home staring at the text exchange Dean and he had. It was not much, but it gave him hope that maybe, there was someone out there that would love him for him. Even if he was just a friend. Cas wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for a relationship after the last one he had. He was scared.

When the cab pulled up Cas got out and thanked the driver. He headed up to his room. When he got in, he was so tired that he changed into a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt and did his nightly routine as quickly as possible before falling into bed. Cas did not normally dream but that night he was visited by his childhood best friend from camp. He was reliving one of their many walks together, when his friend turned to him and asked, “What do you want when you grow up?” in a voice deep and husky that was not his own but belonged to the man at the bar.

 In the Dream, Cas didn’t know how to answer. It was playing out exactly how it had that hot summer day. When his friend turned from where he was kicking a rock to face him again. He had the same forest green eyes as the man in the bar. His friend continued, seemingly unbothered by Castiel’s lack of response. “I think I want a family of my own one day. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Before Cas could answer, he suddenly awoke.

Chapter Text

BANG BANG BANG! Jo was knocking on the door to the apartment over the bar.

“Go away!” Dean yelled groggily, rolling onto his stomach, and pulling the couch pillow over his head. His head was pounding from his alcohol consumption last night. It had been a while since he had more than a few beers. Another BANG! Jo was yelling something from the other side of the door that his foggy brain could not decipher. After another loud bang, he finally lifted his head with a groan.

 “Alright! For fucks sake, I’m up!” He slowly sat up holding his head, the memories from the night before flooding back.

His mind was racing with the images of the man he met. He hadn’t realized it had been so long since he had laughed and smiled that much without it being forced. He ran a hand through his hair with a yawn.

“Dude, get up and call Sam! He’s been calling me and mom for the past hour.” Jo shouted.

 Dean could hear her start to walk down the wooden stairs, “alright, alright.” He grumbled towards the door.

 He picked his phone up, squinting to see the time. “Son of a bitch!” he cursed.

It was 10 past 8am and he was supposed to have met Sam at 7am at their barn to ride out to check the fencing in the back pasture. When he stood up, his head was spinning slightly, it took a second to regain his balance. he grabbed his boots and dialed Sam’s number. Sam answered on the second ring while he was still pulling on his cowboy boots.

“Dean! Where the hell have you been, I’ve called you like 20 times!” Sam shouted over the line.

“Dude… Bring it down a notch.” Dean groaned, making a sour face.

Sam snorted, “Drink too much after we left.” It was a rhetorical question. Sam already knew he had a late night from his conversations with Jo and Ellen this morning… Witch also means he knew Dean spent the rest of the night talking to Cas.

Dean started walking out the door to the apartment and sarcastically replied, “Yes, Sammy. That’s generally, what happens when I come to the bar for drinking purposes instead of working.”

“We’re talking about your night when you get here. And hurry up, I have the horses saddled and ready so we can go as soon as you get here.” Sam stated.

He really did not want to talk about last night. He did not think it was anything to talk about yet, considering nothing important happened. It’s not like he got a date or slept with the guy. They just switched phone numbers… and flirted a little… that’s no big deal... Right?

“Sam there is nothing to talk about, nothing happened.” Dean insisted.

He went into the kitchen behind the bar, to fill his travel coffee cup with some coffee. Ellen always had some made when she was there. He kissed Ellen on the cheek as he passed her in the doorway to the main bar area. She waved bye to him and mouthed ‘good luck’, knowing full well what was in store for him when he got to the ranch. He nodded to her and headed towards the door, he grabbed his coat and headed to his truck. He looked around the parking lot, trying to see if Cas’s Tundra was still there, but it was nowhere to be seen.

“Damn he gets up early.” Dean mumbled under his breath, eyebrows knitting together in slight disbelief.  

“What was that? Dean have you been listening to anything I’ve said?” Sam questioned his brother with a laugh.

“What? Oh, nothing. I… I was telling Ellen bye.” He half lied, hoping Sam did not catch what he had said. He climbed into his truck and started the engine, thankful that it still worked.

“I’m heading that way; I’ll see you in a bit.” He replied quickly and hung up before Sam could question him much more.

 He could hear him yelling something before the call ended but He did not care. He would deal with his brother’s questions later. He sighed heavily and leaned his head back against the headrest.

 It’s too early for this shit. Dean thought as he took a big sip of his coffee, letting the hot liquid relax his tense body. He took a deep breath, threw his phone into the seat next to him and turned on the radio to try and drown out his thoughts. Rock Of Ages started blaring through the old speakers as he pulled out of the gravel parking lot, heading towards the ranch.

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He pulled onto his mile long dirt driveway about 20 minutes after he left the bar. It was almost 9am when he parked in front of his house. He got out of the truck and started walking toward the barn when his dog came running out of the barn barking insistently at him.

“Hey Miracle! Hey buddy.” Dean smiled, leaning down to scratch behind the scruffy dog’s ears.

Miracle was a medium sized furry terrier mutt of some kind. He had found him dumped at an abandoned gas station in the middle of nowhere on a hot summer day three years ago. He picked him up and brought him home with him; Miracle had not left Dean’s side for very long since then. With no food, water or people around him when Dean found him, he thought it a miracle the dog was still alive; especially given his physical state. He was emaciated under an overgrown and matted coat. So, Dean called him Miracle; he loves to go with Dean when he rides out to check the cows or the fencing, and he sleeps in bed with him (even if Dean will not admit it, he loves it).

Sam comes walking out of the barn leading his and Deans horses, “Hey Dean. Here’s Zepp. And I fed Eileen’s horse as well since I was already feeding these 2.” Sam said while scratching his horses chin, Duke.

Duke was a grey dapple, Percheron/Quarter Horse cross who was 17 hands high. He was a big boy, but Sam needed a big horse being a 6ft 4in tall man. Dean’s horse, Zeppelin; was almost as tall at 16.2 hands. With Dean being 6ft 1in, Zeppelin fit him well. Sam was not the best rider; he was still learning since he did not start until they bought the ranch. He also did not ride as often as Dean. Dean had loved horses since he was a little kid when his mom took him to ride his first horse. She was an avid rider up until she died. It was something she and Dean did often all throughout his childhood. It was a way for him to be close to her again. He rides almost daily now that he owns his own horses and land.

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean took the reins from Sam and went about checking his cinch.

“Alright, let’s get going. I want to get back in time for lunch. Eileen is making lunch for us both.” Sam informed him with enthusiasm.

“Awesome. Missed breakfast so I’m already starving.” Dean rubbed his stomach with an approving smile. He’s grateful Sam hasn’t said anything about last night yet; although he knows it’s going to be brought up at some point.

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                               A few hours later

The ride to check the fencing went without incident or any questions from Sam; witch Dean found odd, but he was not about to complain. Now they were sitting on Sam and Eileen’s front porch finishing up their lunch. Today was not as cold as the previous day, it was about 60 degrees and sunny. They were finishing up some blueberry pie that Eileen had made from scratch, when Sam finally asked the question he had been wanting to ask all day.

“So, Dean. How was your night with the new stranger in town?” A smug smile on his face as he chewed the last bite of his pie.

Dean stopped mid chew with a mouth full of pie, unable to speak having been caught off guard. He looked up at his brother with surprise, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline. Sam and Eileen were both laughing hard at his expense.

“What?” Dean mumbled around the bite of pie that was too big for his mouth, a small piece of crust flying out. He had thought Sam had forgotten about their conversation this morning… apparently not. He thought. He put down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin, swallowing hard with a slight cough. He took a long sip of his sweet tea.

“Don’t act like you have no idea what I’m talking about.” Sam said smirking. He was not going to let him get out of this. Sam knows he hasn’t spent time with anyone outside of the family in a long time.

“I do know what you’re talking about, but there’s nothing to say about it.” He put emphasis on the do.

“That’s not what Ellen said when I skyped her this morning.” Eileen chipped in.

“Ellen wasn’t even at the counter while I was talking to him!” Dean defended, although he knows she was probably watching from somewhere else in the bar. Most likely through the hole in the door to the kitchen that never got fixed, or while talking to one of the many locals that were there.  

“Come on, just tell us what happened, and we will leave it alone.” Sam promised.

Dean considered this for a moment, then decided Sam’s puppy dog eyes seemed genuine enough. “Ok fine. After ya’ll left, I went to the jukebox, when I turned around and ran smack into him. I was a little more drunk than I thought I was.” He laughed, looking down, his cheeks starting to feel hot from the memory of getting caught in those ocean-blue eyes. Of course, he was not going to say that out loud.

“You did drink one of my shots plus yours.” Eileen reminded him.

“Hey, you were making me talk about my feelings which I hate so I needed it.” He let out a sigh and continued, “Anyway, I helped him up and offered him a beer since I had knocked him on his ass. So, we had a drink and talked. His name is Castiel, he’s from New York and he’s moving to Livingston. He’s staying in one of the hotels in town till he can find a permanent place.” Dean concluded.

“Damn, that’s a long move. Did he say why he was moving here from New York?” Sam asked.

“Said he just wanted a change of scenery. He had lived in NY his whole life and it was getting suffocating. He had just flown in same day.” He replied.

“that’s still a long move for just a change in scenery.” Eileen speculated as she signed. “Seems kind of odd to me.”

Dean sighed and continued, “well either way, I’m not complaining. We finished our drinks and I bought him a cab ride back to his hotel, we were both too drunk to drive. I told him he could leave his truck in the parking lot; that’s what I was talking to myself about before I hung up on you this morning Sam.” Dean gestured towards his brother.

“I knew it!” Sam yelled.

“Calm down sherlock, I wasn’t finished.” He said laughing, “He had already gotten his truck this morning before I woke up. Before he left last night, we exchanged numbers. That’s all that happened. See, nothing to exciting.” Dean concluded, signing some of the words he knew to make It easier for Eileen. He was relieved that the story was over.

“Yeah, that’s not nothing.” Sam snickered, “You exchanged phone numbers! And from what Jo said, there was a little flirting coming from both of you.” He wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

“And what if there was? It was just a little innocent flirting. Nothing to write home about.” Dean ran his fork through the pie filling left on the plate, not wanting to leave any of the amazing dessert behind. He set the plate on the side table next to his chair and went to stand up.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked.

“Getting away from your 20 questions game.” Dean replied sarcastically. He went to hug Eileen and thanked her for the great lunch, “Can you put that other pie in my fridge please.” He asked.

“of course.” Eileen said smiling. She always made an extra pie for him to take home and have all to himself.

Dean moved to hug Sam and whistled for Miracle to follow him. “I’ve gotta go switch the truck for the Impala, I miss seeing my baby sitting in front of my house.” Dean picked up Miracle. “Thought he might enjoy the ride.” He added while they walked down the steps of the porch towards his truck.

“Be careful. It’s supposed to rain later tonight.” Sam informed him, opening the door to the truck.

Dean set Miracle inside the cab and turned to Sam. “I will. I don’t think I’ll hang around today, probably just get Baby and come home.” He climbed into the truck and cranked the engine.

“Alright see you tonight then. Say hi to Bobby and Ellen.” Sam shouted over the old engine as he shut the door.

“I will. Bye Sammy.” Dean said through the open window as he started to turn the truck around, heading down the dirt drive.

Sam and Eileen’s house was about a mile further up the driveway than Dean’s. they love living on the land and being close, but they were glad for a little space, even if it was not much. He flipped the radio back on and Boston’s More Than a Feeling was playing. It was in that moment when he thought that maybe, just maybe, his and Cas’s interaction last night might turn into something if he really wanted it too. He made up his mind on the drive to Bobby’s that he was going to try to get to know the man who seemed to have a few secrets.

                                -----------------------------

Dean arrived at the salvage yard around 1:30pm. Bobby was exactly where he always was, working on a car in the garage. He parked the truck where it could be left and not be in the way and went to talk to Bobby. Miracle bounded over to him, barking loudly to announce their arrival.

“Hey Bobby!” Dean yelled over the Lynyrd Skynyrd playing over the garage radio.

“Hey Dean. Miracle.” Bobby greeted them both and reached down to scratch the bouncing pup on the head. “What brings you two here this afternoon?”

“Came to drop the truck off and pick up my baby. Visit with you and Ellen if she is here.” Dean leaned against a car on the opposite side of the garage, ankles crossed and his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, she’s in the house. She has something for Eileen she was going to take to the ranch later tonight but since you are here could you take it to her? I don’t want her driving in the rain tonight. It’s supposed to start pouring around 4.” Bobby explained, wiping his hands on an old towel. He walked to the minifridge to offer Dean a beer.

Dean took it and nodded his head in thanks. “Sure, no problem. I’ll head in and see what she’s got for me.” With that he called Miracle to his side, and they walked to the house.

Dean opened the front door and called out, “Ellen! You in here?”

“In the kitchen honey!” she replied. Dean wiped his boots off on the mat and walked into the kitchen, Miracle close at his heels.

“Hey, Bobby said you got something for me to take to Eileen?” He asked her while taking a seat at the small table to drink his beer.

“Yes, just some old family photos from when you and Sam were kids. She asked me to find some for her after their wedding last year.” Ellen said going into the den to grab a box off the end table. She came back into the kitchen and set it in front of Dean, taking the seat opposite him to look at the photos.

“Oh wow, I haven’t seen some of these in ages.” Dean exclaimed enthusiastically. Picking up a handful of old pictures, he began to flip through them.

 “Oh…. I’ve never seen this one.” His eyes went wide as he turned one of the photos towards Ellen. It was a picture of a naked Dean when he was around 2 years old, running around the yard with a water hose chasing John. The huge, open mouthed smile across his chubby baby cheeks were a sure sign that he was screaming in happiness.  

Ellen looked up to see the picture and burst out laughing, “oh I forgot about that picture.” She smiled, “Your momma took that picture when you were about 2 years old, she knew you were playing with your dad when she heard you screaming. She looked out the window and saw that you had grabbed the water hose and were chasing John with it. She ran to grab the camera and snapped a couple pictures; this was the best one.” Ellen said fondly.

Dean smiled as he listened to Ellen recount the story. He loved hearing stories from his childhood before it went to shit. Before his mother’s death… Before alcohol turned his father into a drunk and a monster…

“I love that… but why the hell am I naked?” Dean chuckled.

“Oh honey, you and your brother ran around that backyard with nothing on all the time in the summer. It’s what little boys do.” Ellen laughed and started sifting through the pictures again. “I know there’s one of Sam in the bathtub somewhere in here. Every parent has those pictures.” She concluded with a laugh.

“Remind me never to do that if I have kids.” Dean joked.

“You will though, I promise that. It’s part of the fun of parenting. Making memories and taking embarrassing pictures of your kids that you can show to their future wife.” Ellen paused and looked up, “Or husband.” She concluded with an innocent grin.

Dean stopped shuffling through the pictures in his hand and looked at her, “ugh.” He threw his head back in annoyance, “Not you too. Sam and Eileen already made me retell what happened last night.” He complained.

“Sweetie, I don’t need you to retell it… I saw it firsthand.” Ellen admitted, “That man was smitten with you right from the moment he made eye contact.”

 Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, “how the… How do you know that?”

“Well, you stared at each other for almost a minute without saying anything and then were both flustered. I may be getting old, but I know sparks when I see them. Plus, I saw ya’ll exchange phone numbers.” She concluded.

Dean swallowed hard, his throat feeling dry. He took a long pull from his beer.

“That obvious huh?” he asked, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

“Definitely. I know ya’ll didn’t talk for long and you just met but maybe you should try to get to know him. He seems nice.” She went back to sifting through the photos. “You could use someone else to hang out with other than your brother.” She added as nonchalantly as possible.

“I’ve got friends, Ellen.” He defended, even though he knew she was right. “I’ve got Charlie, and Benny, Ash and even Garth.”

“Yes, but Charlie lives in another state, Garth is busy with his business, Bess and the kids, Ash is… well Ash. And Benny is up to his eyeballs in customers at the restaurant. It would be good to have a new friend. You never know where things might go. We just want you to be happy Dean. I haven’t seen you smile and laugh like you did while talking to him in years.” Ellen reached over to take his hand, she smiled softly at him.

Dean sighed. “I know Ellen. I appreciate that. I’m going to try to get to know him and see what happens. Honestly, I am lonely. I want a relationship; it’s just been a long time….” He paused for a moment, “But I have finally accepted who I am and that my family loves me no matter what or who I love. So, I think I’m ready to give it another try.” He concluded with a smile.

“That’s good Dean. I’m happy for you. We all love you so much.”

“I know, I love you all too, annoying as you can be I still do.” He laughed, “Alright let’s finish looking at the embarrassing childhood photos I didn’t know you had.” He said rubbing his hands together and digging through the box of pictures.

                                ----------------------------

The storm was coming off the mountains, claps of loud thunder and flashes of lightning strikes lighting up the Montana sky by the time Dean decided to head home; it was already sprinkling when he finally pulled into his driveway. He drove straight to Sam and Eileen’s house to drop off the box. When he got there, he saw that Sam was not there; it was just Eileen. Him and Miracle made it into the house right before the rain was coming down like a monsoon. When Dean asked where his brother was, she said he had gone into town to run a few errands. Dean offered to sit and go through some of the pictures with her and tell some stories that Ellen had told him a few hours ago. It had continued to pour as the thunder got impossibly louder. With Miracle curled around his feet, him and Eileen were laughing at a prom picture of Sam’s when a rain-soaked Sam burst through the front door and into the kitchen.

He looked very disheveled, shaggy hair soaked and hanging in his face, and he seemed to be hiding something in his jacket pocket?

Dean and Eileen both looked at each other in confusion, then dean decided to ask, “Whoa dude, what happened to you?”

Sam smiled the infamous smile with a small, nervous laugh that Dean knew meant he was hiding something and not very well. It seemed that Eileen had picked up on this when she asked him why he was soaking wet.

“whatcha hiding there Sammy?” He asked his brother, mischief behind his eyes and words. He figured Sam had bought a present for Eileen that he did not want her to see. Boy was he wrong.

Sam laughed and shook out his hair. “Well, I guess the cats out of the bag now.”

“Sam there is no cat in the bag when you come in looking like you just went swimming in the fucking lake.” Dean sarcastically remarked, wiping the water off his face from where Sam shook his head.

“I was driving down the highway when I saw something move in the tall grass to the side of the road. I pulled over to see what it was, and this is what I found.” He pulled a just as soaked, shaking little tan puppy from his pull over hoodie pocket. The poor thing was covered in mud.

Eileen immediately jumped up to go see the puppy, “Oh Sam, poor baby! I’m so glad you stopped.” She took the puppy from him. “There weren’t any more were there?” she asked and signed, clearly concerned.  

“No, I looked around the area, that’s why I’m so wet.” Sam motioned up and down his body. “Looks like someone just dumped him there.”

By this time Dean had stood up to come see the cute puppy. “Brother you sure have a knack for finding lost animals.” He scratched the puppy on the head. Sam was notorious throughout his whole life for finding lost or homeless animals and bringing them home. That is how they ended up with a momma cat and 9 kittens when Sam was 12. 3 homeless puppies that had been dumped at the salvage yard when he was 15, and countless more animals that he had rescued and rehomed. Dean also brought home the occasional puppy or kitten, but animals had a way of finding Sam.

“Can we keep him, Sam?” Eileen asked, doing her best to mimic her husband’s famous pleading puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, Miracle could use a friend. He can show the little guy the ranch life ropes.” He answered, handing his wife the puppy and pulled off his soaked hoodie.

 Eileen smiled and headed to take the puppy to the sink to get all the mud off.

Dean turned to his brother and quipped, “well you have fun with that Ellie May Clampett. I’m going to take my dog home and get some dinner. Night Sammy. Night Eileen!”

Eileen turned to wave goodbye to him before turning back to tend to the ball of fluff in the sink.

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s nickname for him and said, “night, come see the pup tomorrow when he’s all cleaned up.”

“I will and call the vet in the morning. Get an appointment for him to get checked out. Make sure he’s not sick.”

“Of course, we will.”

Dean and Miracle hopped into the Impala to make the short trip to their house, the rain having subsided to a drizzle now. Once inside he fed himself and his trusty companion and went to brush his teeth. It had been another long day, but tomorrow was Sunday, the only day he allowed himself too truly have off. He got into bed thinking of what he might do tomorrow after he feeds the horses. Cas had not left his mind all day, thoughts of the man continuously at the forefront of his mind no matter what he was doing or who he was talking to. So, he took it as a sign to take the initiative and text Cas in the morning to see if he wanted to go get a drink or something. If he was being honest with himself, he was both excited and scared. He hadn’t had a real relationship since high school. what if he somehow messed it up before he had a chance to even ask him on a date? What if he was reading this all wrong? No, he was not going to think like that. He is a Winchester, and he can do this. Once he made up his mind, he plugged his phone in and turned over to sleep, Miracle curled up at his feet. Once again, instead of the hellish nightmares that usually plagued his sleeping mind; he saw Cas in his dreams, this time riding shotgun in the Impala, a brilliant smile on his lips as the wind blew through his unruly hair. Dean could get used to these dreams.

Chapter Text

The morning after Castiel met Dean at the bar, he awoke suddenly to blinding sunlight shining onto his face. He was laying on his side facing the window, the open curtains letting sunlight pour through. He blinked a few times, groaned, and turned to face the other direction, throwing an extra pillow over his face in the process. About a minute went by before he suddenly bolted upright. Wiping a hand down his face he yawned and stretched. What time is it? He wondered. He grabbed his cell phone off the nightstand to check the time, it was 7 am.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled in confusion.

He never slept past about 6:30, even when he was sick, stayed up too late or drank too much the night before. No matter what he did, he just could not manage to sleep late. He liked that he was an early riser but sometimes he wished he could sleep in, even just a little. Additionally he was not the type of person to dream on a regular basis. Sure, he would have the odd dream here and there but never about anyone he knew; and certainly, never such a vivid dream. He had dreamt of forest green eyes and a childhood friend he thought he would never see again. Cas shook his head trying to clear it.

 That’s weird. Must be the move messing with my sleep cycle and dreams. He thought.

He threw his phone on the bed and stood up to get ready for the day. He went about showering, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed when he remembered that he had left his truck at the bar last night. Once his shoes were on, he grabbed his phone and called the cab service that Dean had called the night before and got a cab ride back to the bar.

He arrived at the bar just 5 minutes shy of 8 am, he paid the cab driver and walked towards his truck. He noticed that the old Dodge truck he had admired the night before was still parked next to him. He figured that if that truck was still there it must have been Dean’s. Glad to see that Dean did not drive home last night, he climbs into his truck and pulled out of the parking lot to go find himself some breakfast and plan out the rest of his day.

                            -------------------------------------

Cas decided to head to Bozeman after picking his truck up. There, he found a dinner to get some breakfast and use the Wi-Fi to find a more permanent place of residency. The more he looked the more he thought that renting a place for the first year would probably be a good idea. Since he was taking a month off from work, finding a job was not really his top priority yet. He had only been in town for roughly a day but so far, he had really enjoyed his time here, (maybe that had something to do with a certain scruffy, green-eyed stranger).

 Cas was staring off into space when he realized the waiter had brought over his check and was trying to talk to him. He apologized and paid his bill. When he got to the privacy of his truck, he decided to call a few apartment complexes. He spent majority of the morning looking at different apartments and condos in Bozeman and a few other surrounding small towns. He was not particularly happy with any of them; not that they were not nice places, he just felt like he moved out here for a change and renting an apartment or condo would not feel much different from living in New York.

By the time he noticed his stomach start to growl, it was 1:30. He found a place to have some lunch and was back at trying to find somewhere to live (that was not an apartment) by 2:30pm. He called a few rental agencies and found that renting a house would be more expensive than an apartment, which he figured would be the case. Since he did not know what he would be doing for work yet, he didn’t feel he could commit to a contract on something he might not be able to afford in the long run. He was starting to feel stressed and that is not why he moved here. He moved here to get away from all the stress he was under, his job, NY in general and his parents and brother; he was not about to get stressed out on his second day here.

He figured that it was probably best to give the house hunting a rest for the day and start fresh on Monday. It was 4pm. Was it too late to go to a bar?

Yes, it’s too early to start drinking. He thought, sighing heavily.

 Maybe he should go for a drive and take in the sights of his new home state. So that is exactly what he did. He stopped to fill his truck with gas and then took off down a winding two lane backroad. The scenery was gorgeous, he passed through flatter areas filled with grass for endless miles. He could see mountains in the distance covered by the clouds of a storm brewing. At one point he found himself driving on a road with a roaring river running right next to it. Cas had never seen anything like it. A little while later he was driving on a road with forest covered, rolling hills and snowcapped mountains on either side of him, the longer he drove the more he fell in love with this place… The more he started to feel like he belonged here and made the right decision.

                            -----------------------------------------

It was starting to get late and clouds with thunder and lightning were starting to roll off the mountains into town. He made his way back into Livingston, heading back to his hotel room when he saw something that brought his mind to a screeching halt. He was sitting at a red light bobbing his head to whatever country music was playing on the radio (he had no idea who it was, but it sounded old, and he knew he enjoyed it) when a shiny old black muscle car passed through the light in front of him. He stared at it as it passed by, mouth agape; only to snap out of his daze when a car started honking for him to move. He looked up and saw that the light had turned green. He quickly turned towards the same direction the old car had been going but it was nowhere in sight. The only other time he had ever seen a 1967 Chevy Impala, was when he was 8 years old at camp drop off in Yellowstone Park when the friend he had made was being dropped off by his father. But there was no way that could be him… right? No, definitely not. The friend he had made so many years ago said he was from Kansas, not Montana.

Sadly, Cas only had the first name and home state of his camp best friend. It was at that point when he was pulling into the hotel that he realized the boy at camp and the man he met last night shared the same first name. Dean. Once parked he sat in his truck for a moment, having a small panic attack.

There’s no way that could be him, right? No Castiel your being stupid, that boy was from Kansas what are the chances he would move all the way to Montana? and that was his father’s car, why would he have that? He frantically thought, trying to calm himself down enough to get out of the truck.

 Besides, Dean is a pretty popular name. And people seem to drive older cars up here, so maybe they are popular because they can be better preserved. He tried to focus on the dashboard.

He was trying to reason with his racing mind, sure he had thought it was familiar when he heard it but at the time, he didn’t think anything of it. It was probably nothing, he should just go about the rest of his day and the rest of his life. When he finally pulled himself from the truck it had started to rain, he ran inside the hotel room and took his wet jacket off. He went into the small bathroom and splashed his face with cold water to try to relax and bring himself out of his panic attack. He came out of the bathroom and picked his phone off the bed to dial Gabriel’s number.

Gabriel answered on the second ring, “Hey little bro, what’s shaking?” he greeted Castiel.

Cas sighed and sat on the chair in the corner of the room, putting his head into one hand. “Gabe, do you think there is at all a possibility that someone from somewhere in Kansas would move to the same town I moved to all the way in Montana?” He was not planning on asking his brother this question, but it just came out in a rush when he opened his mouth.

Too late now. He mused.

“Well, hello to you too.” Gabriel chuckled. “I wouldn’t think it would be likely… But it’s a small world Cassie. Why are you asking?” Then realization struck Gabriel and Cas heard a slight intake of breath over the line. Gabe added, “Wait… Is that where that friend you made at camp was from?”

“Yes. It is. I saw a 1967 Chevy Impala today… same model, same color as his father’s car that he dropped him off in. And… And I met someone with the same first name as him…” Cas came clean.

“Well, is his name a popular name? did you get his last name? it could be the same person. Small chance but maybe.”

“His name was Dean and the man I had a beer with last night’s name was Dean also. But no, I never got the kids last name at camp, and I didn’t get his last name last night.” Cas rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Honestly, little bro that car is kind of rare, but the name Dean is not so rare. It really is too bad you don’t have a last name. But don’t you think he would have recognized your name? it’s not like your name is in the top 100 names to name your kid.” Gabe scoffed, “Hell I’m pretty sure it’s not even in the top 10,000 names.” He laughed trying to pull his brother out of the panic attack he knew he was having.

“No, he wouldn’t have recognized my name because I went by my middle name at camp. I hated my first name, so I told him my name was James.” Cas admitted sadly.

“Oh, that complicates things. Do you think you will see him again?”

“I don’t know… We traded numbers after having a drink together…” He paused, unsure if he wanted to share this with his brother just yet. “He sent a text after I left the bar. I like him and I would like to get to know him regardless of him being the same person or not.” Cas concluded, real hope behind his words.

“Oooo Cassie having a drink, and exchanging numbers with a stranger on his first night in town? My little bro doesn’t waste any time!” Mischief laced Gabriel’s words.

Cas rolled his eyes but could not help but laugh at his big brother. “It isn’t like that. I did not go into the bar specifically to meet anyone. He literally ran into me and knocked me on my ass.” He laughed at himself while thinking about the ridiculous incident.

“Sometimes fate likes to literally knock you on your ass!” Gabe exclaimed, laughing harder. “I genuinely hope you can figure this out. Please keep me updated, also let me know when I can come for a visit, I can’t wait to meet this guy.”

“I will, but you are not allowed to meet him until I figure this out. And that’s only if this goes anywhere. I’ll talk to you later Gabe, goodnight.”

“Ugh, fine, night Cassie. Try to get some sleep.”

“I will. Bye.” Cas hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand, letting out a long breath.

It was getting late and raining hard outside. He was mentally drained and did not feel like leaving his room again. He got up and pulled his computer out, deciding he was going to stay in, order a pizza, watch a movie, and relax. Once the pizza was ordered he dug through his computer bag to find the small CD case with the couple of movies he owned and flipped through them. He settled on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. While he was waiting on his dinner to arrive, he changed into some old sweatpants with a hole in the crotch and a t shirt. Once his meat lovers pizza got there, he settled on the bed to watch his movie and enjoy not having anything pressing to do. It was hard for him to concentrate on the movie, but he tried his best. When the movie was over, he saw that it was still raining outside, though only a drizzle now. It wasn’t too late, but he decided he should probably hit the hay a little earlier tonight. He flipped the light off and rolled over, trying to convince himself to not overthink his situation and fall asleep.

It was 2am before sleep finally claimed him.

Chapter Text

POV DEAN

The next morning Dean woke up early, ready to start his day. It was Sunday so the only thing he had to do was feed the horses and Miracle. First, he got himself some breakfast and fed Miracle, then he got dressed, pulled on his boots and a light jacket, and headed into the barn. He was greeted by a chorus of whinnies from the 3 horses. He said hello to each one, rubbing their faces then went about getting their individual feeds ready. It was a sunny day after the storm last night so he would be turning them out in the ten-acre pasture him and Sam had fenced in behind the barn. He went about doing his daily barn chores while the horses ate with Miracle at his heels the whole time. After he let the horses out, he decided to walk up to Sam and Eileen’s house to see how the new puppy was doing. It was a gorgeous day for a walk.

“Hey Sammy!” Dean called, opening the front door and stepping into the small foyer, the living room was directly to the left and the kitchen to the right. The brothers had an understanding that if any of them came to the others house and the door was unlocked, they could come on in; if the door was locked, either come back later or knock. Deans’ door was never locked, and for the most part the only time Sam’s door was locked was after they went to bed or when no one was at the ranch. Even in those times, they all had keys to the others houses. Ellen and Bobby also had keys for emergencies as well.

“Hey Dean!” Eileen came down the hallway from across the living room holding the little tan puppy.

“Hey, Where’s Sam? And how’s the little ball of fluff this morning.” He smiled, meeting her in front of the couch and scratching the puppy on the head.

“He’s in the shower. He should be out soon. And the puppy is doing great so far. I’m taking him to the vet at 11.” Eileen said looking at the puppy fondly.

“That’s good.” Dean laughed as the little puppy tries to chew on his fingers.

At that moment Sam comes out of the hallway and into the living room, a towel slung low around his hips.

“Oh, hey Dean. Come to say hi to the puppy?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge.

Dean and Eileen followed him into the kitchen, Dean leaned against the door frame while Eileen set the puppy down to eat his breakfast.

“Yeah, but I also came to say I’ll probably be gone all day. So can Miracle hangout with ya’ll?” Dean asked, not making eye contact with anyone but Miracle who was sat at his feet, staring up at him expectantly.

Sam turned from the fridge holding the protein shake he made last night, he had a quizzical look on his face. This is the look Dean was afraid he would get. Sam glanced at Eileen then closed the fridge and turned back to his brother, “Of course, that’s fine Dean. I was planning on staying home while Eileen took the puppy to the vet so Miracle can hang out with me. Where are you going?”

Dean was fiddling with his thumbs, he took a deep breath and look at his brother, “I was thinking about seeing if Cas wanted to get lunch or something.” He blurted out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that?” Sam teased, a wry smile playing across his face. Eileen was leaning against the counter, hand covering her mouth in an attempt to not laugh at them.

“I said I was going to see if Cas wanted to get lunch or something!” Dean barked in annoyance. “Ya know, for someone who graduated college and is super smart you sure are annoying as hell!”

Sam was laughing while sipping on is shake, “I’m sorry, it’s just… You make it so easy.” He was trying not to laugh but he just couldn’t help it as he sat down at the table. “And you already gave him a nickname. Moving fast already.”

Eileen came up behind Sam and lightly smacked him on the back of the head. “Be nice to your brother, he deserves this.”

“Ouch!” Sam yelped in surprise, rubbing the back of his head. He hadn’t expected that when she walked behind him.

Now it was Dean that was laughing at his brother’s expense, head thrown back as laughter erupted from deep within his chest. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Eileen! You deserved that, Sammy.” He stated, pointing a finger at the younger Winchester.

“Anyway, it’s just lunch. I haven’t even asked him yet so it might not happen…” He paused for a moment, “But I really hope it does.” He added quietly, rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous habit.

“I’m sure he’ll say yes. He’s new in town and probably doesn’t know anyone…” Sam trailed off then finished, “It would probably be nice for him to see a familiar face, even if you only met once.” He was trying to give his big brother some confidence.

“Yeah well… I hope you’re right.” Dean stood there for a second before adding, “I’m going to go ahead and leave Miracle here and head home to shower before I head out.” He bent down to scratch behind the dog’s ear before telling him to be a good boy.

“that’s fine.” Sam and Eileen said in unison.

“Have a good time!” Eileen said waving as Dean turned to leave.

“Bye Dean!” Sam called. Dean said his goodbye as he walked out the door. Once on the patio he stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, glad for the fresh air that filled his lungs. He proceeded home. Once there he sat on the swing on his front porch and dialed Castiel’s number, it was 9:30 am.

He should be awake by now. Dean hoped. He would hate to have woken him up.

Cas answered on the second ring with a raspy “Hello Dean.”

Dean’s heart and stomach were currently in his throat. He swallowed hard and stammered out, “Hey Cas.”

“What do I owe the pleasure of your call this beautiful morning?” Cas asked on the line, a smile clear in his voice.

“I... Uhh, I… Well, I was…” Dean took a deep breath and began again. “I was wondering if you would wanted to have lunch with me today? Just hang out. I... I could show you some sights, we could make a day of it.” Dean tried to play it cool. There was a pause, Dean’s heart was hammering in his chest. Then the reply came.

“I would love that. what time did you want to meet and where?” Cas asked, somehow Dean knew there was a smile on the other man’s face.

Dean grinned triumphantly at the answer, his stomach flipping a little “G-great Cas. Why don’t you meet me at the roadhouse at 11:30? I can cook you lunch. I make a mean burger and fries.”

“That sounds wonderful, I will see you then. Should I bring anything?” Cas questioned, ever the gentleman.

“Nope, just a hungry stomach, I will supply the rest.” Dean said enthusiastically.

“Sounds great, see you then!”

“Great! Bye Cas.”

“Goodbye Dean.” And the line went dead.

Dean leaned back in the swing and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He went inside to shower and see if he had everything he needed to take to the roadhouse for the burgers. The only thing he needed were buns, which he knew Ellen would have. he packed everything into the Impala and called Ellen to let her know he was heading to the bar and would be using the kitchen. She was usually there on Sunday balancing the books or restocking, even though they were closed on Sundays. The last thing he did before he left was grab the blueberry pie Eileen had made him. He had not had a chance to eat any yet and he figured he should share it with Cas. Once he made sure he had everything he needed he climbed into the Impala and put in one of his old cassette tapes. It was a Led Zeppelin tape and Ramble On came blaring through the speakers as he headed down his dirt driveway, a hopeful smile playing across his face and excitement burning under his skin.

                       ------------------------------------------------------------

POV CAS

Cas hung up the phone, Heart pounding in his chest so hard he could hear it in his ears. He sat down on the bed and took a couple deep breaths.

Was this a date? Was this just a friendly lunch? He thought, many scenario’s racing through his mind. He liked this man; he didn’t know if he was ready for a boyfriend though. He had never had one before. His last relationship he stayed in because of his parents. That made him think he might want to be single for the rest of his life. He didn’t want to stay with someone he did not love, but he wasn’t sure what the people around him would think if he officially came out as gay. He wasn’t necessarily in the closet; he just wasn’t very open about it after his parent’s reaction. But he also believed his brother when Gabe said that it did not matter what people thought, as long as he was happy. If he was being honest with himself, he did not think he knew what his true happiness looked like. He could never remember a time when he was truly happy.

He sat on his bed for a moment before pulling himself up and deciding to take a shower, hoping the hot water would calm his nerves. Once out, he brushed his teeth for a second time and got dressed. He had on a pair of dark jeans, a black Elton John album T-shirt and a dark blue and white plaid flannel. He never wore flannels when he lived in NY, but he was also rarely out of a suit with how much he worked. He pulled on his old lace up boots and grabbed his jacket before heading out the door.

Chapter Text

POV DEAN

When Dean got to the bar, he went straight to work preparing the burgers and homemade fries. About 30 minutes into his prep, Ellen came in through the back door hauling in some beer. Dean was elbow deep in dropping hand cut fries into a deep fryer and greeted her. “Hey Ellen!”

“Hey baby! Don’t mind me, I’ll be in the office doing some paperwork and Bobby will be doing some work outside. We won’t be in your hair.” She said pushing the door to the big cooler open with her foot and set the beer down. She walked over and looked at everything he was preparing.

“Wow, you’re pulling out all the stops.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to have a nice meal that wasn’t prepared by a big sweaty guy at the local diner.” Dean chuckled, amused by his own joke. He pulled the last of the fries out of the oil and turned on the grill for the burgers.

“I’m making a burger and fries for you and Bobby too. I’ll get y’all’s done first and bring them to you.”

“I’ll let Bobby know we don’t have to fend for ourselves for lunch. Thanks sweetie.”

“No problem.” He replied while forming burger patties. He was nervous but cooking was helping to keep his mind busy. While the burgers were on the grill, he cut up some lettuce and tomatoes, not knowing what Cas would want on his, he also made his secret sauce. If there was one thing he learned from his dad, it was how to make a good burger and how to make this sauce. Anyone that tried it loved it. He pulled off the last 2 patties when it was 11:20am, he knew Ellen and Bobby would want the works, so he made theirs and brought them to them along with 2 beers. He pulled the ketchup and mayo out of the fridge and put the 2 plates and the bowls with all the toppings onto the tray he had. Cas would be arriving any minute and he needed to wash up.

                            ---------------------------------------------

POV CASTIEL

The drive to the bar seemed like it too hours when in reality, it only took Cas about 20 minutes to get there. He pulled into the gravel parking lot and his heart leapt into his throat. There in the parking lot was the 1967 Chevy Impala he saw the day before. He parked next to it as panic started to set in.

There was no way this was happening. He thought, starting to feel a little lightheaded. He thumped his head against the steering wheel a few times, trying to regain composure.

How was he supposed to walk in there and have lunch with someone he had not seen in over 20 years? And not just that, he didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to Camp Dean…... Cas sat in his truck for a moment, mind wondering back to the day he got yanked out of camp one week early.

Timestamp: August 29^th, 1987

It was a beautiful morning, Castiel woke up to the sound of birds singing outside the small, old log cabin that he had shared with one other boy during his time at this camp. His name was Dean and they hit it off right away. They had been paired together to share a cabin and had not spent one minute apart since. Castiel had never had a best friend, well, he did not really have friends at school. His mother kept him in so many activities and expected him to take extra classes that he had no time to mingle. Not that he minded, he was quiet, shy, and kept to himself. Most kids also made fun of his first name. When he came to this camp, he decided he was not going to be picked on for being the kid with the weird name, so anyone that asked, he said his name was James. That was his middle name and the name he gave to Dean when introduced. The only friend he thought he ever needed were the bees in the back garden of the oversized, suffocating, and immaculately clean house he lived in… that was until he met this boy.

Dean was fun, adventurous, and outgoing. He was the polar opposite of Castiel and made it his mission to try to pull him out of his shell before camp was over. It didn’t take long for Dean to accomplish this mission, just 2 weeks passed before Castiel was following Dean everywhere without question, trusting him completely. They would sneak out of their cabin at night to go night swimming or climb to the top of their cabin and watch the stars for hours on end. Before coming to this camp, Castiel had begged his father not to send him. He had just finished an overpacked school year and he felt overwhelmed and like he needed a break. Little did he know that this was exactly what he needed. He was having the time of his life and so happy that he was sent here instead of the intensified piano classes and summer school they usually put him in. Everything was perfect and Castiel was planning on getting Dean’s last name and address so they could stay in contact. Until they were in the cafeteria, fixing to have breakfast when one of the volunteer’s walked up to them and told Cas to go to the main office. Dean had offered to come with him, but Cas told him to stay and eat, they had probably just found the bracelet that he had lost.

When Cas got to the office, he was surprised to see his father sitting in a chair waiting for him. Fear and panic buried its way deep inside Castiel’s chest as he stared wide eyed and apprehensive at his father. He informed Cas that he was here to pick him up and they were late for their flight out. Cas begged for him to have a few minutes to gather his things and tell his friend goodbye, but his father had already gone to the cabin and packed all his stuff.

“Ok, please let me go tell my friend goodbye!” Castiel begged his father, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“NO! we are already late for the flight; we don’t have time for you to tell your stupid little friend goodbye.” Chuck had said coldly to his son. There was an intense yet pained look that Castiel had never seen on his father’s face. His father rarely was at home, rarely made decisions for the boys and rarely put his foot down with his wife. Castiel had seen his parents fight, it was downright cruel the way his mother treated him and the kids, but Castiel didn’t know any better. His father always went along with whatever she wanted and was usually gone before Castiel got up the next morning.

Castiel was crying now, tears streaming down his face as his father grabbed him by his arm and drug him to the waiting cab.

“WAIT! PLEASE!” Castiel screamed, pulling, and causing his father’s grip to tighten on his arm.

“STOP IT CASTIEL! YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS AND I WILL NOT TOLARATE IT!” His father screamed at him, pulling him in the direction of the waiting car.

“PLEASE! I… I. I HAVE TO TELL HIM... TELL HIM GOODBYE!” Cas cried between body wrenching sobs as he tripped over his feet, trying to keep up with his father.

Chuck opened the door to the cab and shoved his screaming son in, turned around and glared at the camp counselor standing nearby, arms crossed and shaking their head in disapproval.

“Mind your own goddamn business!” he snapped at the young man and climbed into the cab. Cutting off the sound of Castiel’s pleading cries.

Once the door to the cab had shut Cas knew he would never see his best friend again because of the way he acted. His father confirmed this when he told him that he would never be coming back since he threw such a tantrum and supposedly made him look like a bad father. Castiel wanted to tell him that he hated him and that he was a bad father. But he knew that would not get him anywhere but being grounded for the rest of the year. He cried the whole way home, the cab ride was full of body shaking sobs and short breaths, the plane ride full of silent tears. He knew if he caused any more of a scene, this would end even worse once they got home.

When they pulled up to the big, gated house, Cas climbed out of the car and ran straight to his room, tears still streaming down his face. He locked himself in his room for the next week and a half until school started, his mother having nothing for him to do since he wasn’t even supposed to be home. He stayed out of the way and avoided her as much as possible. He cried the whole time while reliving what he knew would be the happiest 3 months of his life. He could only hope that Dean may find the bracelet that he had dropped and would not forget about him, because he knew he would never forget the boy who became his one and only best friend.

                       --------------------------------------------------

Now, September 20^th, 2009

Castiel blinked rapidly as a tear ran down his face, a slight smile started for form on his lips. If this wasn’t a coincidence, then he was about to have lunch with the boy he thought he would never see again, over 22 years later. A rush of excitement and hope ran through his body. He made up his mind that he was going to find out where this Dean was from, that was a perfectly normal question for someone wanting to get to know another person. He wiped his face and turned the truck off. He got out, locked it, and walked towards the front door hoping it was unlocked.

He pushed it open and walked inside, it smelled amazing in the bar. He looked up and saw Dean setting a tray full of fries, burgers and all the fixings down on a corner table.

“Hey Cas! Perfect timing! Food just got done.” Dean greeted him with a dazzling smile and a gesture for him to slide into the booth.

“Hello Dean. It looks and smells amazing!” he complimented as he sat down, taking in all the food that Dean had prepared.

Dean slid into the seat across from him, looked at everything and rubbed his hands together in excitement. “Ok so I wasn’t sure what you would want on your burger, so I did it a ‘build your own burger’ style. There’s lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mayo, pickles. Oh, and my homemade secret sauce, great on both burgers and fries.” He smiled up at Cas and handed him a plate with a patty and a perfectly grilled bun.

“Thank you, this looks great! I think I will take a little bit of everything. Did you make everything from scratch?” Cas asked, filling his plate with fries, and starting to build his burger, topping it with the secret sauce.

“I did actually. Ellen grows tomatoes out back so those are from her little garden, I made the fries myself and everything else is locally bought from the farmer’s market. We never buy groceries from big box stores. This beef is from one of my cows.” Dean explained, taking a bite of his burger.

“Wow, That great.” Cas said takin his first bite and moaning from the burst of flavor. “This is amazing, this is the best burger I’ve ever had! That sauce is perfect. What’s in it?”

“Ah that’s an old family secret recipe, so I’m not allowed to tell you. Only Winchesters know the recipe.” Dean joked, dipping a couple fries into the secret sauce on his plate.

“That’s fair.” Cas laughed, “You said this meat was from one of your cows, so you own some land I imagine?”

“Yeah, I lived and worked for Bobby and Ellen for several years trying to save up enough money for me to buy some land and start a cattle ranch. Once my brother graduated, he put some of his savings into it as well, and we were able to buy a bigger piece of property because of him.”

“Sounds like you have a good relationship with your brother. How much land do you own?”

Dean reached down into the cooler he stored in the seat behind their booth and pulled 2 beers out, popping the tops and handing one to Cas. “Yeah, I love working with my little brother, I practically raised him.” He paused then continued, “we have 1,000 acres. It’s a nice piece of land but there is another 9,000 surrounding it that I would love to buy one day. Even if its little by little.”

Cas nearly choked on his beer when he hears how much land Dean owned. “that’s a lot of land. Would you get more cattle if you had more land?”

“If we had that extra land, we could easily double if not triple our current herd. But I’m in no hurry to do that. I would like to keep it just me and my brother Sam handling the business without having to hire outside people to help.”

“That makes sense. Coming from someone who was a CEO at a large company in NY, don’t hire people unless absolutely necessary.” Cas laughed shaking his head. He knew what it was like to be a boss with people working for you and found the idea of being your own boss with no one counting on you to sound like a very pleasant thing.

Cas took a deep breath and asked the question he knew would have an impact on this whole friendship. “Where are you originally from Dean?” heart pounding in his chest, he waited for a reply.

“I was born and raised in Lawrence Kansas, when I was 18 Bobby and Ellen moved us all out here to open another Salvage and body shop.” Dean replied with pride in his voice.

There it was. All the confirmation Cas needed. Cas had turned pale white and did not realize he was holding his breath until a few seconds of silence passed, Dean breaking it with a concerned look and a question.

“You ok, Cas?”

“Yes, sorry just got a little dizzy. Haven’t been sleeping great on that old hotel mattress.” Cas lied, hoping Dean wouldn’t see right through him.

Dean brushed it off with a shrug. “I understand that. I gotta have my memory foam mattress.”

Cas decided since he made it this far, he may as well try to dig a little bit deeper. “Why did you move to Montana? If - If you don’t mind me asking.” This time he was more prepared for the answer he received.

“I went to this camp up in Yellowstone Park when I was a kid. I went for several years in a row, and when Bobby and Ellen came to pick me up one year, they fell in love with the scenery. Plus, I told them I was planning on moving here when I was 18 so they figured what better time to make the move.” Dean paused sadness taking over his face for a brief second, “It was the first trip I took my baby on. That Impala outside, that was my old man’s car. I got it when I was 18, after my old man lost his license from drunk driving.”

The last piece of the puzzle fell into place. Cas was 100 percent sure this was the same person. Everything else lined up, age, name, home state, even the old car. The problem was, he wasn’t sure he should say anything about being best friends at camp. He didn’t want Dean to think he was some psychopath stalker or think that he was making fun of him. It was just an insane coincidence. He decided not to say anything about it now, he would address that problem later.

“I’m sorry about your father. Though it seems like it worked out for all of you. Ellen and Bobby seem like good people.” Cas replied, trying to bring himself back into the conversation, be in the current moment, and get to know the man that Dean had become.

“Yeah, they are good people.” A smile playing across Dean’s face as he took the last, too big bite of his burger. He was done talking about himself, he wanted to know as much as possible about the man across from him. “Enough about me, what about you? What really brought you here?” He raised an eyebrow at Cas playfully.

Cas figured he might as well come clean and tell the truth if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with him. He took a deep breath and took a drink of his beer, “Well if you want to know the real reason I came all the way here…” He paused, trying to figure out the best way to put this.

Oh, fuck it! He thought, then continued, “I had an extremely abusive childhood. My parents wanted me to grow up and live a certain life, and when I did not conform to what they wanted and expressed interest in something other than being a lawyer in my first year of college, they cut me off financially. If it weren’t for my older brother Gabriel, I would not have made it through college and become the person I am today.” He paused, thinking fondly of the brother he already missed. “He’s actually the reason I moved here. I got really depressed and decided to try to drown my emotions with alcohol and ended up waisted on his doorstep at 3am. he told me I should take a vacation. Instead, I took what he told me to the extreme and quit my job, sold everything, and moved here.”

His words flowed freely, remembering how easy it had been for him to talk to Dean as a child. It seemed he still had the same effect on Cas that he did when they were kids. It felt amazing to be getting all this off his chest to someone other than Gabriel. He popped a couple fries in his mouth and gauged Dean’s reaction.

“Wow, your parents sound like dicks. Glad you still had your brother. I gotta say though, that was a pretty dramatic way to handle a breakdown.” Dean laughed, trying to lighten the mood so Cas would not feel anxious about talking about it. “What made you pick here of all places though?” He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“I came here once when I was a kid. It was the best time in my life. So, I thought what better place to get a fresh start.” Cas trailed off finishing the last of his fries and beer. He hoped his answer didn’t give too much away.

It was Deans turn to have an odd look on his face. He could not place it, but he had a feeling he had heard a similar story about shitty parents from the best friend he made at camp when he was a kid…. But there was no way this could be that man.

Naaa, a lot of kids had shitty parents. Dean reasoned.

But now he had the sudden urge to dig out that old bracelet he had saved from camp. His friend had left it behind when he left suddenly, and Dean never saw him again. He wondered where it could be at.

A wave of sadness washed over him as he thought about losing the best friend he had ever had as a kid. He shoved the memories and thoughts to the back of his mind and smiled at Cas. “Well, you picked the best place to start fresh that’s for sure.” He stood up and started to load all the empty bowls and plates onto the tray.

“I’m going to take all this to the kitchen, then do you want to go see some of the sights? I know a beautiful lake we could go to.” He offered enthusiastically.

Castiel’s face lit up with a wide smile, “yes, that sounds great! I haven’t really seen any of the sights yet.”

“Perfect, give me two minutes.” Dean said and ducked through the door to the kitchen.

Cas leaned back in the booth and let out the breath he had been holding. Dean came back out of the kitchen and walked towards the door, “You ready?” he asked Cas, spinning his keys around his index finger.

“I’m coming.” Cas answered getting out of the booth and following Dean to the Impala. Dean cranked the key and the 327 V-8 Big Block engine roared to life. Dean turned to Cas with a smile and a laugh, “HAHA! Listen to her purr!”

Cas burst out laughing, head thrown back in a full body laugh that Dean knew was going to be in his top five favorite sounds.

 “She sounds beautiful.” Cas complimented.

“This is my baby Cas, one day you may be lucky enough to drive it.” Dean gave Cas a wink and cheeky smile. Cas’s face felt hot, a light pink creeping up his neck and he looked forward out windshield, “Where are we going?” He asked.

“The Cottonwood Creek Trailhead. It’s a little bit of a hike to get to the lake I’m thinking of but if you’re up for it, it sure is worth it.” Dean shared, a playful yet challenging look on his face.

“I’m up for anything as long as the view is as good as looking at you.” Cas winked, he thought that if Dean was going to flirt with him a little, he might as well flirt back.

“HO HO! This is gonna be fun!” Dean exclaimed, throwing his head back and laughing.

Cas was laughing with Dean, then he glanced down and the cassette that was partially sticking out of the tape player caught his eye. He was curious what Dean was listening to this morning and reached to push it in before Dean could stop him. Turns out it was the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing, Hungry Eyes started blaring through the speakers as they drove. Cas roared with shoulder shaking laughter, the kind that produces tears of joy.

Dean turned 6 shades of red, then turned to Cas and declared, “Hey! It’s a Swayze movie! Swayze always gets a pass!” he was starting to laugh now too.

“I wholeheartedly agree!” Cas said, starting to sing along with the song. Dean found himself having a hard time keeping his eyes on the road. He loved watching Cas sing along to all the songs that came on. He loved watching his reaction to each song and how his demeanor changed with the mood of different songs. He found himself wishing this drive and day would never end. It was the best day he had had in a very long time, and he found Cas extremely easy to be around. Before he knew it, the drive to the trailhead was over and so was Castiel’s karaoke performance he was enjoying so much.

Dean parked the car at the trailhead; they both got out, stretching from the 45-minute drive. Dean opened the backseat door and grabbed 2 leather jackets, throwing one to Cas.

“Ya might want to wear that. It’s September and there’s snow up there, even in the dead of summer.”

“Oh, thank you.” Cas pulled on the leather jacket, it smelled of whiskey and what he figured was Dean’s cologne, and of course, leather. It was intoxicating.

“All right let’s get going. We got a few miles of walking ahead of us.” Dean smiled at Cas, turning and heading towards the trail path.

“You seem to know a lot about this, did you do a lot of hiking and camping as a kid?” Cas asked as they started down the dirt and rock path, he wanted to know more about the things Dean liked to do.

“When I was little, my dad would take me fishing and we would camp by the lakes and rivers we fished in.” Dean trailed off for a moment, then scooted over for Cas to join walking next to him instead of slightly behind him. “After my mom died, I went a long time without doing anything like that. then Ellen and Bobby got custody of us, and Bobby started taking me and Sammy hiking, camping, and fishing again.” Dean was looking everywhere but at Cas as they walked, clearly effected by the subject but trying his best to hide how his past still affected him.

Cas wanted to try to comfort him in some way, so he tried his best, “Like I said before, you are very lucky to have had good people like Ellen and Bobby in your lives.”

“Bobby never had any kids, so he really took us in like his own, along with Jo too. Not that he didn’t love us before that, he was there when both me and Sam were born…. But he actually had sons that were legally his afterword’s. They adopted us shortly after getting custody.”

“That was very generous of them to open up their home to y’all like that. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Bobby yet, but I really enjoyed talking with Ellen the other night.”

Dean let out a snort, “Oh you’ll meet the old grouch soon enough. If he calls you an Idgit, you know you’ve made it in his book.” Dean playfully clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder. The touch felt like electricity to Cas, even through the jacket. Was he that touch starved? Or was it just Dean having that effect on him? He was not sure.

“Alright enough of me being a Debbie downer.” Dean paused, hand still resting on Cas’s shoulder as they walked. “Take a look at the view!” He gestured with his free hand to the beautiful mountain scenery in front of him. Tall peaks with newly fallen snow on them, towering trees, and tall grass.

“It’s beautiful.” Cas whispered, the view taking away his breath as they walked up the incline. He had been so drawn into their conversation moments ago that he failed to realize they were already one mile away from the trailhead, completely surrounded by nature in every direction.

They continued the next few miles to the lake Dean wanted to show him, talking about mundane topics such as favorite foods and movies, along with ‘who shot first?’ Han Solo or Greedo. Lucky for Cas, he agreed with Dean, Han shot first.

They made it to the lake, walking out of a clearing that opened up to a beautiful lake that was surrounded by tall pine trees and towering snow-capped mountain peaks. The water was like glass and Castiel found himself to be speechless. He was standing there, at the edge of the clearing with his mouth agape. Dean walked up with a huge grin on his face and took his hand, pulling him towards the lake. The touch made Deans heart start to race as electricity and adrenaline rushed through his body. He had been with a lot of women and a few men before, but no one ever had this effect on him. If he was honest with himself, it was exhilarating to feel so completely content and at ease with another person.

He loved watching the way Cas’s face lit up when he saw the stunning lake, like a child would look on Christmas Day. It was when Cas turned to him with a beaming smile and their eyes locked that a feeling of Déjà vu washed over him. And just like that, in his mind’s eye, he was back at camp when he was 8 years old, sitting on the roof of their cabin with piercing blue eyes staring back at him. That’s when he knew…. He came back to reality when he heard Cas say his name for the third time.

“Are you ok Dean? You looked like you just saw a ghost.” Castiel asked him, concern filled his voice. Dean blinked and looked down for a moment, “Yeah sorry. I’m fine… just lost in thought.”

That’s when he realized he was still holding Cas’s hand. He let go and shook his head, trying to clear it. Cas nodded, seeming to accept Dean’s feeble excuse, and walked a bit further down the shore and pointed across the lake; asking, “I see people camping over there. Have you ever camped out here?”

“Yeah, I have actually, just not in a really long time.” Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and walked up behind Cas. “Before I had my own land, I would come up here all the time. It was like a sanctuary for me…” He paused, chewing on his bottom lip before he continued. “I’ve never brought anyone up here before.”

Cas slowly turned to look at Dean, a shy smile playing across his lips. “It’s an honor to be the first.” Cas winked at him, chuckling at the shade of pink Dean’s cheeks were turning.

They spent a little while longer by the lake, Dean telling Cas stories of fish he had caught and the animals he had seen drinking from the clear water. Cas loved listening to the way Dean told stories. He put so much heart, emotion, and passion behind any story he told. Soon they headed back down the mountain. By the time they got to the car, the sun was starting to set, casting colors of deep reds, oranges, pinks, and purples across the blue Montana skies.

“Wow, I didn’t realize it was getting that late.” Dean said, climbing into the front seat.

“Me either, although I don’t think I will ever get used to the sunsets here. They truly are beautiful.” Cas commented, gazing out the window as Dean drove.

“They are definitely one of a kind.” Dean replied while digging through his cassette collection, pulling out a Lynyrd Skynyrd tape and popping it in. Simple Man flooded through the speakers as they drove back towards town.

                           -------------------------------------

Almost an hour later they were pulling back into the Roadhouse parking lot, Dean parked the Impala next to Cas’s truck. It was about 8pm and both Cas and Dean were tired from their long hike. They pulled themselves from the car, Dean leaning on the roof, fiddling with his keys, and laughing while he watched Cas stretch and grumble as he popped his back. He was tired but he was used to the trek, he often went hiking or on long trail rides through his property or herding cattle for hours on end. But Cas… Cas wasn’t used to this, he felt like his legs might fall off.

“I think it may take a month for my legs to recover after that.” Cas chortled and leaned against the roof as well, looking Dean in the eyes, “Thank you for today. I haven’t had this much fun since I was a child.” He smiled fondly.

“Anytime. I had a great day too. Best day I’ve had in a while.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, enjoying the comfortable silence they could’ve stayed in for hours, before Castiel gave in. “Well, I guess I should get going. I’m going to need some Advil and a hot shower.” He started to walk around the Impala and over to his truck.

There were many things that went through Dean’s brain at the thought of Cas and a hot shower, but he decided to keep his mouth shut this time. Instead, he walked over to the driver’s door of the truck and opened it for Cas. Cas thanked him one last time, climbed in and turned the engine over. He rolled his window down and said one final goodbye to Dean before pulling out. Dean watched him go with a feeling of hope and happiness he had not felt in years.

He got back in the Impala and headed home. Anxious to see Miracle and get a shower himself. He sent Sam a text asking for him to take Miracle back to his house, he was tired and not in the mood for another game of 20 questions with his brother. Luckily when he got home, Miracle was waiting on the front porch and Sam was nowhere to be seen. He greeted his pup with a bunch of head scratches and a hug, then headed inside to shower. When he was finally done and in his comfy sweatpants, he went to the fridge to get a piece of pie, only to find that the pie was not there. He cursed under his breath but then remembered he had taken it with him to share with Cas but had forgotten about it. He mentally slapped himself and drug his body to bed. Once there, he picked his phone up and shot Cas a text, hoping he was still awake.

Dean:            

Hey Cas, Sam’s wife made a pie and I forgot to bring it out for us to have at lunch today.

It was a cheesier way to start a conversation but it’s what his tired brain had.

A few minutes went by before his phone buzzed with a new message.

Cas:

That’s unfortunate. I love pie.

Dean smiled at the reply, then he got an idea.

Dean:

Well then, I guess you’ll just have to come to the bar tomorrow to get a piece. 😉

Yes… Yes, he just sent that, but he was a little sleep deprived and feeling goofy.

Cas:

Looks like I will. 😉 I’ll see you tomorrow.

Dean:

Goodnight Cas.

Cas:

Goodnight, Dean.

Dean smiled as he locked his phone and set it on the nightstand. He patted the bed for Miracle to come cuddle with him, then he flipped the lamp off and closed his eyes. For once in his life, he knew when he slept that night that there would be no nightmares. He was happy with his day.

                             ----------------------------------------

POV CAS

Cas had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his phone ping. He quickly dressed in a t shirt and sweats and climbed into bed. He picked his phone up, happy to see the texts from Dean.

The text exchange was brief, but when he sent the last one, he found himself happier than he had been in a long time. Today had been a great day, he didn’t have many friends back in New York; especially ones he actually spent time with except for his brother. Things seemed like they were starting to look up for him. Yes, he was currently jobless and living in a hotel, but he had somehow reunited with the person he thought he lost so long ago. There were still things he was going to have to come clean to Dean about but that was for another day. Right now, Cas could fall asleep, content for the first time since he was 8 years old.

Chapter Text

Don’t Look Back

The next evening, after Dean and Sam had finished working on the ranch, they headed down to the roadhouse for a family dinner with Bobby and Ellen. Dean of course, had invited Cas to come have a piece of pie and dinner with him. Before Cas had arrived, Sam spent a considerable amount of time teasing his big brother about how this Castiel must be special if he wants to share his pie with him because he cannot remember a time when Dean ever willingly shared his pie. Sam’s persistent teasing ended with Dean putting him in a headlock and telling Sam that just because Sam was the size of sasquatch did not mean Dean couldn’t take him. This earned them both a smack on the back of the head from Ellen as she scolded them both. Eileen was observing the whole situation from a corner booth with Jo, taking bets on who would win.

Bobby had grilled some steaks for them, and Ellen had made some roasted potatoes and green beans. Cas arrived just in time to be introduced to everyone before they sat down for dinner. Cas was polite as ever and everyone noticed how Dean and Cas could not seem to keep their eyes off each other and were both smiling the whole time. The whole family instantly took a liking to Cas much like they did with Eileen. Ellen of course welcomed him back with open arms and Bobby called him Son and Idjit in the same sentence, making it clear he approved of him. Jo bonded with him over the fact that they were both the youngest of their respective families. She told him that just between them, even though her and the boys sometimes fight like cats and dogs, they are still her brothers, and she would kill for them both. Cas took that as a subtle warning that she would kill him if he hurt Dean, even platonically. And Eileen took to him like she had known him her whole life. He enjoyed conversations with her, he was eager to learn sign language and found the few things she was able to teach him very easy to learn. She promised to give him more lessons if he stuck around.

Cas felt like part of the family with the Winchester/Singer clan, even in his own family, he never felt loved or wanted. He never felt like he belonged with his family, hell he did not think you could call what he had a family, it was more like a prison. But even in the extremely short amount of time he knew these people, he felt welcomed, liked, and even loved.

Ever since that day Dean and Cas rarely spent a day apart save for the occasional day where Dean was too busy working late at the ranch; on those days they would text throughout the day and end it with a phone call. They would meet most nights for dinner and drinks at the roadhouse, Sam and Eileen joining them a few days a week. But mostly it was just Cas and Dean, talking about their days and anything and everything that came into their minds. Cas had thoroughly enjoyed the time he had been spending with Dean and was very happy with his move here.

But here he was, a little over a month after he moved, and he was still jobless and technically homeless. He needed to find a job and a place to live, not only was his back killing him from the rickety old hotel mattress, but his funds were dwindling. He still had a lot of money, in truth he could pay rent and not work for another 4 months if he wanted to, but that’s not the way Cas did things. He was a businessman at heart and an ex-CEO. He knew how to handle his money and he was not very pleased with himself.

So, the last week in October, he went job hunting. He had interview upon interview for a multitude of different jobs. He found that every job he had interviewed for wanted him to be in management or in corporate because of his education and his job references. But he came out here to start living and enjoying his life instead of just going through the motions and being in a constant state of stress. That’s what he had fallen into in NY, and he was determined not to do that here. When he was in college, he had spent some of his free time bartending to make money to pay Gabriel back for his tuition, he applied at multiple bars, but they all turned him down because he was overqualified and wanted him to manage, just like all other jobs.

Now, the day before Halloween, he sat at the bar of the roadhouse with his third shot of whiskey in hand, fiddling with a piece of paper he had written an address on. He was looking like a lost puppy, and it pulled at Ellen’s heartstrings as she watched him from across the bar. She had taken him in like another son and he definitely considered her more of a mother figure than his own mother. There was no denying that he had become part of the family and he wouldn’t change a single thing. She walked over to him, intent on finding out what was the cause of his despair.

“Alright, spill it.” She gently demanded, leaning against the counter across from him.

Cas was staring down at the paper when he looked up, running a hand through his dark hair, he had a week-old beard growing and he was starting to look disheveled. Not that he cared, he kind of liked the effect it had on Dean. He couldn’t stop staring at Cas for most of the time they spent together lately.

“Spill what Ellen?” he asked, knowing damn well what she meant. He looked tired and stressed.

“You can’t fool me with that Cas. Don’t pretend like you haven’t spent the last 20 minutes you’ve been sitting here not staring at that piece of paper. Not to mention you look stressed and exhausted.” She took the paper from his hand to read it. “What is this address for?” she continued.

Cas sighed, knowing he was not getting out of this one. “It’s the address to a management building of a company that wants me to be the new CEO.” He looked up at Ellen with tired eyes and threw back his shot of whiskey.

“Why do you have this? That’s not the kind of job you wanted, I thought you moved out here to get away from the corporate humbug.” Ellen turning to get 2 beers from the fridge below to bar. She handed one to him, waiting for him to answer.

He nodded his thanks and took a drink of the cold amber liquid.

“I did, I don’t want that kind of job but every interview I go on they tell me I’m overqualified and to either apply to corporate or that they won’t hire me.” He ran a hand down his tired face and continued, “I even applied at a few bars because I bartended in college and loved it… But even they won’t hire me…. They all say the same thing, they feel like they would be holding someone with my education and experience back.”

“Well Cas, I don’t think you should take a job at corporate if that’s what you moved out here to avoid.” Ellen paused, searching Cas’s face for any sign that he wanted to go back to corporate. She found none to her delight.

“I know but what am I supposed to do? I have to find a job Ellen.” Cas said exasperated, he dropped his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

“I think I know someone who would hire you regardless of your education or past job.” A smile in her voice.

“Who?” He inquired curiously, slowly raising his head form his hands to meet her gaze. He did not expect her to say what she said next.

“Me and Bobby.” She proposed with a warm smile.

Cas let out a breath and a weak snort. “That’s funny. I don’t expect you to offer me a job just because I don’t want to work in the area of my education.” He looked down at the label on his beer and started to pick at it.

“I’m being completely serious sweetie.” She insisted.

Cas looked up to meet her eyes, “You can’t be serious. I don’t expect handouts just because you’re my friend who happens to own this bar.”

“Oh, I’m dead serious.” Ellen straightened up. “And it’s no handout. I’ve been wanting to hire another bartender, but no one has come in with the experience I’m looking for. Except for you.” She concluded, smiling at him.

“Ellen you only just found out I had experience not even 5 minutes ago.” Cas said dismissively, taking another drink of his beer.

“Would you believe it if I told you I was thinking of hiring you before I found out, even if it was just temporarily. Until you found something else you wanted to do.” She suggested, trying her hardest to convince him that she was very serious.

Cas looked at her for a moment, trying to decipher if she was serious or just trying to be nice. Then he concluded that Ellen was not the type of person to do something she did not totally want to do. At that, a smile started to creep onto his lips.

He shook his head and accepted her offer. “Ok, I’ll take the job. But only if you treat me like an employee and not just like your poor friend that can’t get a job.” Cas wanted to be treated like a normal employee, he didn’t want to be pitied upon.

“Anything you want Cas. Now, throw that paper away and get behind this bar. It’s going to be a doozy with tomorrow being Halloween and you need to know your way around the bar more than you already do.” She winked knowingly at him, and his face turned pink.

He did not think she knew that Dean had been showing him where everything was and letting him help him on nights he worked. Cas could always be found where Dean was and vis versa for the last month.

“I’m not blind honey, I know what happens in my bar.” She laughed.

Cas deflated a little. “I’m sorry, Dean asked me to help him one night and it just kind of turned into him teaching me after I told him I missed my bartending day.” Cas apologized shyly, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s not a problem Cas, Dean was the one that suggested I hire you since you were such a natural at it.” She waved the unnecessary apology off.

Cas walked around the bar and put a hand on her shoulder, “Thank you, I really appreciate this.”

“Your welcome Cas.” She pulled him down into a tight hug.

He went about the rest of the day helping Ellen with whatever she needed and relearning how to tend a bar. It did not take him long to catch on considering Dean had already been teaching him for the last month.

That evening Dean came bursting in with Sam at his side. The minute he spotted Cas behind the bar, talking to one of the regulars that came in, a dish towel thrown over his shoulder; he had forgotten how to breath. Cas looked so at ease and comfortable behind a bar, serving drinks and making small talk. Not to mention he looked insanely hot in one of Dean’s old flannels he had given him; and with that stubble that was growing on his face.

Dean was shaken from his thoughts when Sam clapped a hand on his back and whispered, “Bring your head out of the gutter, quit staring and go say hello to your Boyfriend.” Then burst out laughing at his own joke.

Dean shot him his best bitchface and smacked his brother on the back of the head saying, “Shut up, he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.” His face was growing hot, and he felt the funny feeling rise in his stomach as he thought about the possibility of Cas maybe one day, becoming his boyfriend. But so far nothing but a great friendship that Dean was very grateful for had come out of it.

“Not yet he’s not.” Sam teased, dodging another swing from Dean.

“Bitch!” Dean yelled as Sam started to walk away towards where Eileen and Jo were sitting.

“Jerk!” Sam yelled back.

Dean took a deep breath and walked over to the bar where Cas was standing.

“Well, well, well! Looks like Ellen took my advice!” He said smiling at his best friend.

Cas smiled shyly and looked down, grabbed a beer from the fridge and handed it to Dean, “Yes, it took her a while to convince me but I’m glad she did. I haven’t had this much fun at a job since I was bartending in college.”  

“Good to see your enjoying yourself. You’re a real natural behind the bar.” Dean took a drink of his beer and winking at Cas.

Cas chuckled and glanced down towel he was holding, fiddling with the tag. “So I’ve been told. Ellen wanted me to get comfortable behind the bar so I could work tomorrow. She said Halloween gets pretty busy around here.” He looked up and met Dean’s gaze.

“That’s a good idea, but don’t worry, I’ll be working with you so you can dump the crazy customers on me.” Dean laughed then continued, “It does get busy but that’s due to the Halloween karaoke party we throw here. All the regulars are here, and all our friends come over so you will be meeting some more people tomorrow.” Cas can see a playful and excited gleam in Deans eyes.

“I did not realize we were throwing a party for Halloween.” Cas said conversationally as he wiped down the counter.

“Yeah, the party doesn’t really start till after 11 though.”

“What makes you say that?” Cas asked, tilting his head and squinting in that adorable way Dean loves.

Dean stood up straighter and said enthusiastically, “We close at 11 so after everyone but us and our friends leave, we all get drunk and hold our own karaoke competition!”

“That sounds like a lot of fun. I look forward to meeting your friends.” Cas smiled at the thought of getting to know more of the friends that Dean considered family.

“Benny and Andrea are coming and my best friend from high school, Charlie, is coming too.” Dean paused, “I haven’t seen Charlie in a few months, I think you will like her. She’s always a good time to be around.” He took another sip of his beer.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet them. Now do you want some dinner? Bobby made some fajitas and I saved some for you and me.” Cas offered, turning on his heels before Dean could answer and ducking through the kitchen door. He popped back out just as quickly as he had left. He carried a tray full of beef fajita meat, all the fixings and tortillas. He set it down in front of where Dean was standing and pulled another beer from the fridge for himself.

“This looks great Cas, thanks!” Dean beamed. He took the seat he was standing next to and grabbed a plate from the tray. Cas smiled at him as they both started to make their own plates.  

They ate and made small talk, talking about Dean’s day on the ranch and what had happened to Cas that day. Dean felt truly grateful to Ellen for helping Cas out, she winked and nodded at him as she passed behind Cas. A few hours later Dean was helping Cas close up the bar.

Once done, Dean came around the counter and handed Cas a key to the bar. “Here. Your gonna need this since you officially work here now.”

An affectionate smile spread across Castiel’s face. “Thank you, Dean… For everything.” Cas hoped Dean understood the weight of his words.

Dean knew that Cas’s gratitude was for more than the job, it was for being there for him, getting to know him and his family and allowing him to be his friend. Dean hoped his response communicated how much he cherished Cas as a person and a friend… His best friend…

“Anything for you Cas.” He said quietly, staring into the depths of Cas’s eyes. A soft smile began to form on Castiel’s lips. They were standing close, only a few inches apart like they always did, and Cas found himself leaning forward when he saw Dean’s eyes glance down at his lips. They were standing behind the bar and the sound of the mini fridge grumbling in old age pulled him out of the trance like state Dean’s eyes put him in. Cas smiled shyly and broke the eye contact, taking a step back.

“Well, I better get going. Goodnight, Dean.” Cas reached out and squeezed Dean bicep, letting his hand linger for longer than necessary. Dean swallowed hard and nodded, trying to clear his head before he followed Cas out the front door and locked it. they got in their respective cars and head for their own homes. they both felt the spark between them that night, but for now, they were content with just spending time in each other’s presence.

Chapter Text

Juke Box Hero

It was the morning of Halloween and Cas woke with a start, his alarm blaring in the background. He never used to have to set an alarm, he would naturally wake between 6-6:30 am, but ever since he has been spending time with Dean, he found himself sleeping sounder and later than he ever has. He turned the alarm off and stretched his aching back.

I have got to find somewhere to live. He thought grumpily, his back couldn’t take much more of this horrible, ancient spring mattress.

He got up and got dressed, brushing his teeth and showering quickly, he was expected at the bar at 9am to start helping stock and decorate for the party tonight. He was excited to meet more of Deans friends, he had heard so much about Benny and Andrea, and he was anxious to meet Deans high school best friend as well.

He arrived at the bar right on time, the Impala already parked alongside Sam’s Prius, (Cas still couldn’t figure that one out) he parked on the other side of the Impala. When he walked in, he was greeted by a chorus of hellos from Sam, Jo, Ellen and Bobby. Sam was standing next to the ladder Jo was on, handing her spooky decorations and Bobby and Ellen were restocking the bar.

“Where’s Dean? I saw the Impala parked outside.” Cas asked, grabbing a life size fake skeleton to place in the corner. He was trying to sound nonchalant. Everyone saw right through his efforts.

“He’s in the kitchen finishing up breakfast.” Bobby answered.

Now that he thought about it, the smell of bacon was filling his lungs. He shrugged and said, “Oh, great… I’m starving.”

Right on cue, Dean came bursting through the door singing the theme song to The Nightmare Before Christmas while carrying a tray that was practically overflowing with bacon, eggs, toast, biscuits, and gravy. As soon as he saw Cas, a broad smile spread across his face as he set the tray on the bar counter.

“Hey Cas! Just in time for breakfast!” He said proudly. Cas watched as Dean laid everything out on the counter.

“Hello Dean. It looks great.” He complimented as he came over smiling admirably at Dean, then he dug in, starvation taking over his mind. Dean watched him as he got food and started conversation with his family, he loved seeing how easy Cas fell into step with his everyone.

They all grabbed some food then Ellen put them to work for different tasks. Before they knew it, it was lunch time. Ellen went in the back to make some sandwiches while they put the finishing touches on the bar decorations. The bar was covered in black and orange streamers, some of those mechanical ghosts, and skeletons were hanging from the ceiling and sitting in corners, cauldrons were full of candy for anyone to take, and there were small pumpkins sitting at every table and a couple lined the bar with faces carved in them and a candle in each one. There were also string lights hanging on the ceiling for the lighting for the night instead of the house lights. Now Cas and Dean were sat in a corner booth, finishing their lunch and admiring the work they had completed when Dean asked with a mouthful of Sliced beef sandwich, “So, what’re you dressing up as tonight Cas?”

Cas froze mid bite, sandwich halfway to his mouth and looked at Dean. He had not been planning on dressing up, it had not even crossed his mind.

“I was not planning on dressing up tonight.” he decided honesty was the best policy. Continuing to finish his sandwich and coke.

“You aren’t serious? Are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Cas asked, confusion flooding his face.  

Dean had an even more confused look on his face as he stared at Cas dumbfounded. "Uhhhh, because it's freaking Halloween man. When it's Halloween, you dress up, eat so much candy it makes you sick and drink weird pumpkin flavored drinks because why the hell not."

All Cas could do was stare at Dean. He didn’t understand what the big deal was, that was probably because he had never celebrated Halloween. His mother would not let them. Well come to think of it she never let them have any fun. Even their birthdays were never children's birthdays. They were full of fancy parties and custom-tailored suits. And presents, you could forget toys. They were only allowed to have books, clothing or get money put into a fund for their education once they reached the ripe old age of 5. 

After a few seconds of Dean staring at him expectantly, Cas figured out that he never told Dean this. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked back at his friend to explain. 

"Dean, you have to remember that my childhood was a far cry from normal. My mother was extremely strict, and we really were never allowed to have fun. We were not allowed to celebrate Halloween because that fell into the "fun" category." Cas said sadly, putting air quotes around the word fun. Dean was listening intensely with his mouth hanging open in disbelief.  

"Birthdays were a dreaded affair for me and my brothers because they revolved around my parents and it was just another excuse for a fancy party to show off the "Novak prodigies", not for us. We were required to wear suits and never got any toys or games, only books or clothing." Cas paused remembering back to his childhood and how horrible he was starting to realize his mother was. He always knew she was a horrible excuse for a mother, but he had never realized how much he had missed out on as a kid because he never dwelled on his past. Until now. Until his best friend was inviting him to have fun and enjoy life like he never had before.

Cas went on, finding it easy to let out all that he didn’t know was pent up inside him. "Once we were 5 all fun stopped and the toys were replaced by books and hours upon hours of schooling, extracurriculars and extra tutors. We literally woke up, went to school, had our extra activities that mother chose, came home to a tutor, ate dinner, and went to bed. We were never home in the summer; it was either summer school or a camp my mother chose. Especially after I actually had fun at a camp my father picked when I was 8." Castiel's eyes went wide at his accidental admission, he quickly looked down. He almost let the cat out of the bag. He hoped Dean did not notice. 

When Cas glanced up again Dean's mouth was still agape. So, he just looked at him and waited for a reply.

Dean was trying to process everything Cas had just said. His brain couldn’t comprehend parents like that. His parents were the polar opposite when him and Sam were kids. They had a room full of toys, John and Mary threw them amazing birthday parties, and Halloween was always made extra fun with dressing up and staying up late to watch movies. His heart ached for his best friend… And in that moment, Dean made a promise to himself to help Cas experience everything his mother robbed him of as a child, starting with Halloween. 

"Holy fuck your childhood was screwed up." Dean paused, "I'm really sorry you ever had to go through that." 

Castiel didn’t want to be pitied for anything and he opened his mouth to say as much when Dean raised a hand to signal that he was not finished.

"I know you don't want pity. And that's not what this is… I actually am excited to have the privilege to help you experience everything your parents failed to let you have or do." A playful smile crept onto Dean's face, "so you know what that means. You and I are going down to the costume shop, and we are getting you a costume and you are going to celebrate Halloween the right way!" Dean said triumphantly.

"Aren't all the costumes going to be taken? It is the day of Halloween." Cas asked, even though excitement flooded through him. 

"Egh, there's bound to be something for you. Let's go!" Dean stood up and picked up their plates, taking them to the kitchen where he told Ellen they would be back soon. Dean grabbed his coat and keys then grabbed Cas by the arm and practically dragged him out of the bar, both men laughing as they went. 

20 minutes later they were walking into the costume store, Dean with a determined look on his face, set out for the right aisle, Cas followed close behind looking rather unsure. 

Once they found the right aisle Dean's face fell a little. It was mostly barren. Cas on the other hand expected as much. He looked over at Dean.

 “Not much here to pick from. Looks like all the men's costumes are sold out." He observed. 

Dean reached down and picked up a scandalous women’s costume and flipped it around to show Cas, "you could be a sexy doctor." Dean said with a snicker and a half-suppressed smirk. 

Cas snorted, "Is that a fantasy or kink of yours Dean?" 

Dean's face froze in shock, that was not what he was expecting Cas to say.

"I've seen you turn Dr. Sexy MD off very quickly when you realized you weren't alone in the bar." Cas winked at him and threw his head back in laughter.

He didn’t know anyone ever caught him; because he did have a Doctor fantasy, and a cowboy one too.

Oh, Jesus did Cas see me turn off Brokeback Mountain the other day too? No no no no, better not ask, that was a whole other can of worms he was not ready to deal with. Dean swallowed hard, he stuttered and fell over his words in embarrassment.

"I… You see…. I…." He took a deep breath, "It's a guilty pleasure ok." he confessed quickly.

His face was beat red. That just made Cas laugh even harder, he was doubled over holding his stomach when Dean finally joined in the laughter. He couldn't help it; Cas's laugh was contagious and intoxicating. 

After the laughter subsided, Dean picked up a pair what looked to be black angel wings and held them up to Cas.

"You could be an angel. I mean they are black instead of white. A fallen angel!" Dean suggested.

You could be my Angel. No stop it Dean! you’re in public dammit. He berated himself, trying to stop his mind from going in the direction it was headed. 

Cas looked the wings up and down and took them from him. They were nice looking; they did not look cheaply made. You could see the care that was taken to place each feather, in fact they looked like real feathers, each wing was 3 feet long and flowing.

"That could work." Cas agreed.

 I'll be your Angel… Cas what the fuck! Stop thinking about that now of all times. First accidentally learning Dean's kinks and now this. Cas’s internal monologue was constantly betraying him when it came to Dean.

 I know he has a cowboy fantasy from the other day when he turned Brokeback Mountain off and now a Doctor fantasy, but now possibly this? Ok stop, I cannot handle all this at once. He pulled himself from his thoughts when Dean snapped a finger in front of his face. 

"Hey sunshine, you in there?" Dean asked with a concerned smile, waving a hand in front of his face. "Whatcha thinking about?"

Cas blinked rapidly, "Oh just…. Remembered I have something that might go with this in my suitcase."

"Dude we gotta get you a place to live so you can quit taking Advil every day and living out a suitcase." 

Cas sighed, wishing it were that easy. "I know. Come on let's go." 

They took the wings to the checkout counter where the girl told them that someone custom ordered them then decided they did not want them. That explains why they looked so well made. 

They decided to swing by the hotel for Cas to grab the change of clothes for his costume then were off to the bar. Once there it was only about an hour until they opened, so Dean and Cas went into the upstairs apartment where Sam and Eileen were already getting ready, to get themselves changed. Dean needed Eileen's help with the expensive prosthetic teeth he bought for his costume. It was a roomy 1-bedroom apartment, you walked right into the living room from the door. It was a very spacious room with an old couch and ancient TV on the wall to the left. To the right was a small dining room and a small kitchen. There were no walls separating the living room from the kitchen or dining room, it was all open. Then directly across from the entry door was the door to the bedroom. It was a decent size, and it had an ensuite bathroom. Ellen and Bobby fixed it up for if the boys and Jo ever needed it, so it was not brand new and shiny, but it also wasn't old and decrepit. It was homey and felt comfortable. 

Eileen pulled Dean into the bathroom to sit on the toilet so she could apply his teeth while Cas changed in the bedroom. He changed into a white button down with dark blue slacks and a suit jacket with a blue tie. He had a tan trench coat laying across the old bed he intended to wear as well. He had it for years. It was old, worn, and comfortable. 

Dean came out of the bathroom with his vampire teeth in, fake blood and fake cuts littered his face and his short beard. He also had changed into a pair of old ripped jeans and a grey Henley that was ripped to look like claw marks. "What the hell are you supposed to be? " Cas asked, amused by the sight in front of him. 

"What do you think I am?" Dean asked excitedly. He held his arms out and turned a circle.

"I have no idea. You look like a mix between a vampire and werewolf." Cas was trying not to laugh now, putting a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter.  

"Say it with me… A werepire!" Dean announced enthusiastically.

" He came up with that himself!" Sam yelled from the other room. 

This made both Dean and Cas burst out laughing. 

"So, what's with the suit? Aren't you supposed to be an angel?" Dean asked, eyeing Cas up and down. He subconsciously licked his lips. 

Cas felt his face heat up but ignored it and answered, "Yes, I am an angel, but I thought this would be more appropriate than just a t shirt and jeans."

"Ah, I see…. Like a…" Dean paused, trying to think of the right phrase. "Like a Holy Accountant!" He finished, laughing at his own joke. 

Cas ducked his head to start tying his tie and chuckled, "Yes like a Holy Accountant." 

"Here, let me help you." Dean stepped over and took the tie in his hands and started to tie it. 

Cas's breath hitched at Dean’s proximity. He had to look to the side to keep his mind from wondering where it should not be.

Dean also did not realize the effect that being only a few inches from Cas's face would have on him. He had to focus all his concentration on the tie he was working on, unaware Cas was having to do the same thing.

Right when he was done, Eileen walked in the room from the bathroom and said, "We better get down there. The party starts in a few minutes."

Cas and Dean turned to her simultaneously, both nodding in agreement. They stepped away from each other and Dean walked out into the living room while Cas put on his suit jacket and pulled on his wings. 

They all walked down the stairs and into the main bar area. Sam was dressed as Robin Hood and Eileen was Maid Marian, Ellen and Bobby were a pirate couple and Jo was an Archer. 

There were already a few people in the bar, some of the regulars who were enjoying the drinks and the scary movies Jo had put on the TV in the corner. The first few hours went as expected. Sam was manning the karaoke machine, Dean and Cas were working the bar, Jo was serving, and Ellen and Bobby were in the back cooking. They only served more complex things on special occasions; otherwise, it was chips and a dip of choice, cold cut sandwich and chips or fries. They were mainly a bar and they didn’t advertise that they served food, you had to be in the know.

It was only a few minutes until closing time when the last customer said goodbye and left for the night. A short girl with fiery red hair bounced into the bar dressed as Princess Zelda and yelled, "What's up bitches!"

"Charlie!" Dean thundered, jumping over the bar top to go hug his friend. 

"It's been to long my dude!" She shrieked as Dean picked her up, wrapping her in a tight bear hug and spinning her around. 

He set her back down and asked, "how have you been?"

"Good! Busy working but what else is new." Then she lowered her voice, "Are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?"

"Ugh! You've been talking to Sam again haven't you." He grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't say that out loud either! He's not my boyfriend."

"That's not what Sam says. Said you spend practically every waking minute together." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Sam's a fucking man-child. Don't listen to him."

it was true though. He thought. They had spent as much time together as possible with Dean's work schedule. 

"Eileen said the same thing…. And Ellen… and Jo and-" She was cut off by Dean's hand flying to cover her mouth. 

"Sssshhhhhhh. Ok, ok, ok I get it! Everyone knows I have a thing for Cas." He paused, turning to look at Cas as the other man wiped down the counter.

"I wonder if Cas knows." He mumbled more to himself than anything. Then he felt her shove his hand off her mouth.

"Dude. Get your head out of your ass! According to practically everyone in your family, you both have it bad for each other but neither one of you has the balls to admit it." She stated, looking at Dean like she expected him to make some sarcastic remark.

Instead, he said, "that's not it Charlie…. I like him, like I really really like him but I…." He fumbled for the right words, then let out an exasperated chuckle, "It's not that, I'm almost one hundred percent sure that he's the kid I told you about from camp when I was 8." He whispered.

"Holy mother of… are you serious?"

"Everything lines up." He nodded.

"Well… Well... Well, why haven't you told him I mean this is great right yo…" she was cut off by Dean's hand again, stopping her mid-sentence. 

"I haven't said anything because I don't want to ruin the great friendship I have with him." Dean admitted, sighing.

"Dean, Dean, Dean." She shook her head then smacked him on the back of his head. "Grow a pair man! Now I'm going to go introduce myself to the…" she paused trying to figure out what Cas was dressed as. "Angel?" She asked. 

Dean nodded, still rubbing the back of his head where she smacked him. "He's a Holy Accountant." He chuckled. 

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked over to the bar. 

Cas looked up and smiled when he saw them walking over. He had hoped that Dean did not notice that he saw their entire interaction. He found the whole exchange rather hilarious.

"Hey! I'm Charlie! Dean's better half, his wing woman." She introduced herself to Cas and pulled him into a tight hug he was not expecting. 

It took him a second to grasp what was happening then he squeezed her tightly and replied, "I'm Cas. Currently a Holy Accountant from what Dean keeps calling me."

He shot a look at Dean who shrugged and said, “It’s fitting.”

Cas could tell he was going to like Charlie.

They had great conversation for another 10 minutes when Benny and Andrea came through the door. Dean went to hug each of them then pull them over to introduce them to Cas.

"I see you took my advice on costume choice." Dean quipped, looking Benny’s costume up and down. 

"The costume store was empty, so I had to go with what we had left over from last year." Benny grumbled.

Cas tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes. He was trying to figure out what Benny was dressed as when Dean gave him the answer.

 "A vampirate!" He said triumphantly and Cas burst out laughing. 

Sam and Eileen came over to join in the conversation while Ellen and Bobby brought out more drinks and some chips and queso. They spent the next hour talking and drinking. They all did multiple lines of whiskey shots and by 12am most of them were tipsy, except for Dean and Cas. They had already had a few drinks by the time everyone got there, so they were pretty drunk and feeling good. That's when the karaoke started.

They all took turns jamming out to old classic rock songs, there was the classic Juke Box Hero, Eye of The Tiger (sung by Dean and was quite the performance), Cherry Pie, We Will Rock You and Bohemian Rhapsody. Then Eileen and Sam sang Final Countdown, Benny and Andrea sang House of The Rising Sun, Ellen and Jo sang Footloose, Dean and Charlie sang The Bitch Is Back, and finally Dean and Sam sang Wanted Dead or Alive. But Cas had yet to sing at all and Dean was determined to get him on the makeshift stage. 

Dean stood up wobbling slightly and pulled Cas out of his chair by the arm. Dean drug him to where they had a platform placed, Cas grumbling his frustrations but laughing none the less. Dean pointed to Sam to put something on for them to sing, little did he know what Sam had in mind. 

They were stood on the stage; each had a microphone in hand when the first cords to Hungry Eyes played through the speakers. Cas started laughing and Dean scowls at his little brother who ignored him and took his seat by Eileen. 

Ah fuck it! Dean thinks. He turns to Cas and picks up the first part of the first verse: 

I've been meaning to tell you

I've got this feeling that won't subside

I look at you and I fantasize

He nods along to the music as Cas shyly picks up the rest of the verse, turning a dark shade of pink as he sang: 

Your mine tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

With a big smile on his face Dean walks the 2 steps over to Cas and throws his arm around his neck, they both turn towards everyone and sing as loud as they can the chorus: 

With these, hungry eyes

One look at you and I can’t disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

There was whooping and hollering from everyone as they parted and turned towards each other again, this time it was Cas who picked up the first part of the verse, looking Dean straight in the eyes and gesturing towards him: 

I want to hold you so hear me out

I wanna show you what loves all about

Dean was so drawn in by Cas singing those words, he was starting to forget they had an audience. He took a step towards Cas to finish the verse; never losing eye contact: 

Darlin' tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

He winked at Cas as they both started the Chorus again, staring into the depths of each other’s eyes; everyone else seemed to fade away:

With these, hungry eyes

Now did I take you by surprise

I need you to see, this love was meant to be

They sang the chorus two more times, not looking anywhere but at one another, not realizing that they had almost completely closed the gap between them. As the last of the music started to dwindle out, they came back to reality when everyone started clapping and yelling. After what felt like an eternity, they broke eye contact and turned to take a bow, needing to hold onto one another for balance. They climbed off the platform and took their respective seats. 

Charlie leaned over to Dean and whispered into his ear, "Well if anyone here didn't know you had a thing for each other, they definitely do now. "

Dean turned beat red but in his happy drunken state, all he could do was smile and nod in agreement. He was happy with what had just happened on stage even if it was liquid courage induced. Cas seemed to be happy about it as well since the huge smile on his face had yet to fade. 

A little over an hour or more had passed and it was now 3 am. Everyone except for Ellen and Bobby were completely wasted. At one point they all tried to fit on the platform and do a line dance resulting in Charlie falling off and everyone busting up laughing. It was then that Ellen decided to give last call and tell everyone to go up to the apartment and go sleep it off. Jo still lived with Ellen and Bobby, so she stumbled to Bobby's old truck to go home while Sam, Eileen, Benny, Andrea, Charlie, Cas and Dean all stumbled upstairs. It took longer than it should have to climb the steps, but they were all in a very clumsy state. Benny fell onto the couch before anyone could protest, Andrea falling on top of him. Sam stumbled his way to the closet to get the blow-up mattress out for him and Eileen, and Charlie fell into the oversized chair next to the couch and immediately passed out. 

That left Cas and Dean with the only option left… the full size bed in the bedroom. 

"Looks like you and mmmwwwaa got lucky with the real bed Cas." Dean slurred, directing a wobblier Cas into the bedroom.

Cas was trying to take off his trench coat when he somehow got stuck and ended up falling on the floor in a fit of laughter. Dean joined him trying to help him out of his coat while trying not to laugh to loudly, but only ended up on the floor next to him. Finally, they freed Cas from the trench coat, and both stood up, Dean kicked off his boots and pulled off his belt before plopping into bed. Cas yanked his shoes, tie and suit jacket off and fell almost on top of Dean. It was a small bed for two grown, over 6 ft tall men. 

They were both laughing still while trying to get on separate sides of the bed. Once finally there, Dean pulled the blanket up over them, "at least unbutton the top two buttons of your shirt." Dean slurred, pointing to Cas's neck. "You'll be more comfortable." 

He had his eyes closed at this point. Cas undid the top two buttons before saying, “that’s better. Just a warning, I might push you off the bed by accident." 

Dean laughed and replied,” Just a warning, I'm a natural cuddler, but I get reeaalllly cuddly when drunk…. Did I just admit that? Fuck!" He covered his face with his hand for a second. 

Cas started laughing again, "noted. Thank you for today." 

Dean’s eyes flew open at Cas’s thanks. Right away he was swimming in the depths of his blues eyes, they were mere inches apart. "You’re welcome. I'm glad you had a good time."

Cas smiled dreamily and tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, "goodnight, Dean." 

Dean's breath caught in his throat, he wanted to say something. Something that let Cas know he felt more for him. But even drunk he knew he needed to do it sober. So instead, he simply replied, “Night Cas." Closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. Cas not far behind him, drifting into the deepest sleep he’s ever had.

Chapter Text

Your My Best Friend

The next morning Dean woke up on his back, squinting in the sun, he groaned and placed a hand on his head. His head was pounding from the night before. After a few seconds he realized there was a weight laying across his chest. Confused he rubbed his eyes and looked down; All he saw there was a snoring Castiel. Cas’s head was resting on Dean’s chest under his chin, his hair tickling Dean’s nose, left arm draped over Dean’s middle with their legs twisted together.

“Damn I thought I was cuddly.” He mumbled, chuckling. He looked at the watch on his hands and swore to himself. It was 11 am. He pushed on Cas’s shoulder trying to wake him up.

Cas groaned and squeezed Dean tighter. Dean laughed and said, “Cas.” He pushed on his shoulder again, “Cas, wake up.”

Cas wiggled, rubbing his face into Dean’s chest then suddenly stopping as the scent of Dean’s cologne on his shirt assaulted his nose. Cas slowly looked up at him.

“Good morning, Dean.” He seemed to have realized that he was laying on top of him because he shot up with wide eyes.

“Mornin Cas. You ok buddy?” Dean asked concernedly. He was trying hard not to laugh at how cute he thought Cas looked in that moment. Compared to his normal clean, and sleek appearance; his hair was standing straight up, white dress shirt wrinkled and bunched up at the bottom.

He looked at Dean, trying to gather his thoughts, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I was… was laying on top of you.” He shifted, trying to ignore the subtle bulge in his pants from the morning.

“It’s no problem, Cas.” Dean assured him, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

Cas swallowed hard and looked away for a second. He ran a hand down his face and shook his head; that caused him to realize he had a terrible headache. He winced.

“What time is it?” he asked Dean.

“It’s 11.”

“Holy shit.” Cas exclaimed, “I have never slept this late in my entire life. I usually wake up at 6 or 6:30 regardless of what I did the night before.” Cas chuckled. He had honestly never felt more rested, even though he didn’t go to sleep until after 3am.

Dean was still laying on his back, his right arm resting behind his head. “I may have punched you if you woke up at 6 after the night we had.” Dean chuckled, Cas laughing with him; Dean couldn’t help but feel like Cas’s smile lit up the room.

“Well, we should probably head downstairs. I need some bacon and a Bloody Mary.” Dean pushed up and off the bed.

Everyone else was already in the main bar area when Cas and Dean came down. Cas was met by Ellen handing him a cup of coffee and some Advil, she then handed Dean his Bloody Mary and a cup of coffee. They slid into the family booth that everyone was sitting at. They were sitting side by side, next to Charlie and Jo, Sam, Eileen, Benny and Andrea sat across from them, and Ellen had 2 chairs pulled up for her and Bobby.  

“Morning guys, late start. How did ya’ll sleep on that old mattress?” Sam questioned with a devilish smile while taking a sip of coffee.

Everyone at the table started to laugh, except for Jo who had been mid sip of her drink and spit it out all over the table in front of her.

“What?” She choked out.

This caused everyone to laugh even harder. Dean and Cas were both turning a dark shade of red, Dean was chuckling in embarrassment and Cas was hiding behind his coffee, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Hey now, that was the only option left for us. Benny and Andrea had the couch, Charlie had the chair and Sam and Eileen took the blowup mattress. The bed was all that was left.” Dean informed them, trying to brush it off with a logical answer. But underneath, he enjoyed sleeping in the same bed as Cas. He hadn’t slept with anyone in a lot longer than he would like to admit, but this was different. It was comforting and he slept better than he had in many, many years.

“where’s the bacon?” Dean barked, trying to change the subject away from the fact of him and Cas sharing a bed last night. Cas was grateful for Dean’s subject change.

“Bobby’s finishing up, he should be out in a second.” Ellen said.

Right on cue, Bobby came through the door with a tray full of bacon, pancakes, and eggs. He set the tray down in the middle of the table along with a caddy full of butter, different types of jelly and syrup.

“Dig in everyone.” Bobby said taking his seat.

 They all piled plates full of everything in sight, and 30 minutes later everything was gone, all the while having great conversation with great people. Cas was enjoying spending time with Deans friends, he liked them, especially Charlie. He could see how close Dean and she were by how they acted and their body language. Cas noticed how special she was to him by how he had his arm slung around her shoulders and she was leaning into him. Dean had told Cas that they became instant best friends when they met. He had said how people always assumed they were together by how they would hang on each other; but in reality, they were a comfort to one another. Charlie had lost her parents in a car accident and Dean had lost his mother, so they clung to one another to make it through the hard times. No matter how long they spent separated, it was always like they had not been a day apart. One of Castiel’s favorite things about Dean was how hard he loved and cared for his friends and family.

“I think we are going to head out. Gotta open up the restaurant early in the morning for breakfast and we have to do some stocking.” Benny had announced, pulling Andrea to stand with him. Everyone stood and said their goodbye, Cas saying how nice it was to meet them. Benny told him he was welcome at the restaurant anytime; any friend of Dean’s was a friend of theirs. Cas thanked him and said he would stop by soon.

After they left Dean turned to Charlie, “How long you stayin for shortstop?” He questioned.

“I took the week off, figured if I was making the 4-hour trip from Idaho Falls I might as well stay a while.”

“Oh great!” Dean exclaimed excitedly, clapping his hands together. “You can stay at my house, and we can do some exploring like we used to do in high school.”

“OK but I’m not getting on that 4wheeler again, not after what happened last time.” She said pointing an accusing finger at Dean.

“Hey, Annabelle was just wanting to be friends and get her some hay before everyone else.” Dean defended.

“I’m pretty sure she wanted to eat me but it’s fine.” Charlie laughed nervously. Dean waved a dismissive hand towards her then stopped with a dawning look on his face. “I have an idea. Why don’t we all go camping this week?” He looked expectantly to the group standing around him.

“That’s a great idea! We haven’t been camping in a long time.” Sam said, Eileen was nodding in agreement.

“That sounds great!” Charlie said excitedly, turning to Cas and adding, “Me and Dean used to go exploring the woods in Kansas when we were teenagers. It was always a blast!” Cas nodded in acknowledgement.

“We had a lot of fun back then….” Dean paused, reminiscing. “And now we are old and boring.” He snorted.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Charlie agreed.

“I’ve never been camping. I wouldn’t know the first thing about it, but I would love to learn.” Cas spoke up at this point. They all turned to look at him with disbelief etched on all their faces.

Dean was the first to speak up, “Well then that settles it. We have to go now. Can’t have our Holy Accountant not knowing how to camp now can we!” Dean slapped Cas on the back. Cas smiled at him shyly.

“Dean I just realized we can’t all go.” Sam said sadly.

“And whys that Sammy?”

“Who’s going to take care of the horses and the cows?” Sam inquired.

Dean’s face fell a little, then Ellen walked up out of nowhere and said, “Me and Bobby will. Ya’ll go have some fun. God knows you boys haven’t had a fun trip since you bought the ranch.”

A smile split across Dean’s face, he walked the three feet over to her and kissed her on the cheek, “Thanks Ellen. We really appreciate it! We will only be gone overnight.”

“No problem boys.” She smiled at them and asked, “When are y’all going?”

Dean looked around the room, Charlie, Sam, and Eileen all shrugged, and Cas held his hands up, leaving the decision up to them. He was just a passenger on this adventure.

“Why don’t we leave first thing in the morning? That way we can have plenty of time to get packed up.” Dean suggested. A chorus of agreements came from everyone.

“I’ll leave you a note in the feed room with all the instructions for the horses and the cattle. I’ll be taking Miracle, of course. And Sam are y’all talking Thor?” Dean asked, looking over to where Sam and Eileen were stood, Sam’s arm slung over his wife’s shoulder. Eileen had named the little puppy Sam had brought home Thor because he found him in a storm and thought it was fitting. Sam and Dean had both agreed she was right.

Sam looked down at his wife who said and signed, “Yes, he needs to get some more manners and experience away from home.”

“Awesome, then it’ll just be the horses and cows.” Dean confirmed.

“that’s fine. Bobby can handle the cows and I’ll take care of the horses.” Ellen said.  

“Perfect.” Sam said. “We should probably go home and get all our stuff ready and feed the horses.” He looked at Eileen and she nodded. They said their goodbyes and left. That’s when Dean turned to Cas and said, “OK, we need to go to the sporting goods store and get you some essentials.”

“You’re the expert.”

“Damn straight.” Dean laughed and winked at him.

Charlie cleared her throat and chimed in, “I need to come with because I was not prepared to go camping. So, I need to get some things.”

“I have a tent that sleeps 10. I don’t know why I have it, but you and Cas can sleep in it with me. 2 less tents to set up, more fun to be had!” Dean declared much to Castiel’s amusement.

“Let’s get going then! Y’all can just leave your cars here and ride with me. Cas we can swing by the hotel, and you can grab your stuff. We will be leaving early so you can just stay the night at my house.” He added.

“Are you sure Dean? I don’t want to impose, I...” Cas was cut off by Dean, “It’s no trouble, I have plenty of room trust me. Now let’s go!”

“Umm Dean.” Cas said.

“Ugh, what Cas?”

“Have you looked in the mirror this morning?”

Dean stopped and looked suspiciously at Cas. “No, we got up and came straight...” before he finished his sentence he looked down at his cloths and realized that he still had on his costume that was cover in tears and fake blood, and his face probably still had fake blood and cuts all over it.

Realization washed over his face as he looked up. “I still have fake blood and cuts all over my face, don’t I?”

“You do.” Cas nodded.

“Give me 10 minutes.” He said, turning and barreling up the stairs to take a quick shower to wash away all the makeup.

Charlie and Cas chuckled quietly at their friend, both walking over to the bar to sit and talk to Ellen.

“Cas have you found a place live yet?” Ellen questioned him, handing them both a soda.

Cas sighed at shook his head, “No…. not yet. I don’t want to rent an apartment, but I don’t need to buy a bunch of land and that seems to be my only options right now.”

“Well, me and Bobby were thinking that since you spend majority of your time here and now you work here… We wanted to offer the upstairs apartment to you.” 

Shock flooded Castiel’s face as his jaw dropped. That was not the direction he thought Ellen was taking this conversation. He had thought that she was merely curious.

“You can stay there for free,” she held up a hand when Cas opened his mouth to protest. “Or you can pay for the utility’s if you insist on paying anything.”

“Ellen, you have already done so much for me. I can’t ask you to offer me housing as well as a job.”

“You aren’t asking, we are offering it. It does not have to be permanent, but it would be better than that old hotel for long term.” She concluded.

Charlie chimed in now, “You should do it Cas. Deans told me how that hotel mattress has been hell on your back.”

Cas stayed quiet for a moment, at a loss for words at how nice Ellen has always been to him. She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. “Grab all your stuff and check out of that hotel today when you swing by. It can stay at Deans until you get back from camping. I know you don’t have much.”

That is when Dean thudded down the stairs, jumping down the last 3 steps, “Cas taking you up on the offer to move in upstairs?” he asked cheerily, coming up behind Cas and resting a hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him.

“Did you put them up to this too?” Cas asked craning his neck to narrow his eyes at his best friend.

“Not this time. This was all their idea.” He gestured to Ellen. “They just asked me if I thought it was a good idea and I told them yes.”

“OK.” Cas said turning back to Ellen. “I appreciate this more than you will ever know. Please give my thanks to Bobby.” After breakfast Bobby and Jo went back to the salvage yard.

“I will. Now go have some fun on your first camping trip.” She said, shooing them away.

Cas smiled and they all headed out to the Impala, Dean was driving, Cas was shotgun, and Charlie was sitting in the backseat. They drove to Bozeman to the nearest camping store. Dean parked the Impala and they headed inside. He led them to where the camping equipment was. Cas was very glad that he had Dean with him because he got overwhelmed by the vast choices and number of things on the shelves. Dean helped him choose a warm sleeping bag, an insulated mug, camping pad so he wasn’t laying on sticks and tree roots, a fishing rod and a starter tackle box. Charlie had to get her a sleeping bag and bed roll as well. They paid for their things and stopped at a small diner to get a late lunch.

After they ate, they went to Cas’s hotel for him to grab his bags and check out of the room. Charlie waited in the car while Dean accompanied Cas, they packed up his room quickly and got him checked out. Once done there, they got back on the road to go to the ranch. By the time they arrived it was about 5 o’clock. Dean parked the Impala and went around to the trunk to grab Castiel and Charlie’s bags.

Cas got out of the car and slowly looked around, taking in the beautiful scenery. He saw the barn and the horses grazing in the distance with the sprawling land of grass and tall pine trees and hills in the distance. To the right of the barn, some two hundred yards away, the land started to climb and woodsy, turning into rolling hills. The wood and stone barn was clearly newer but made to look old. Cas then turned towards the house and his jaw dropped at the sight before him. Dean’s house was a two-story cabin style, wood, and stone home. It boasted a giant front porch that spanned the whole front and right side of the house. From where he stood, he could see that there was a swing and a few chairs around what looked to be a firepit built into the porch. It was beautiful and like nothing Cas had ever seen before.

“I know, I know… She’s beautiful ain’t she.” Dean said, voice full of pride as he looked up at his home.

“Built her myself. Me, Sam, Bobby and Benny. My design and built with my own hand. One of the greatest feelings is to live in something you put so much blood, sweat, tears and love into.”

It seemed to Cas like Dean was going to explode with pride at the home he had built, and understandably so.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous Dean.” Cas beamed, still in a state of shock.

“Wait till you see the inside!” He said excitedly and they all walked to the house. Once Dean had the door unlocked, they were met by a bouncing ball of fur.

“Hey buddy! Charlie, you know Miracle. Cas, this is my dog Miracle.” Dean set the bags down and rubbed the happy dog on the head.

“Hey Miracle!” Charlie greeted the dog with a scratch behind the ear.

“Hello Miracle.” Cas greeted the pup. Cas had very little experience with animals of any kind. Although he loved them and always wanted to have a dog.

“He’s adorable. I always wanted a dog, but mother would never allow it. Then I was working to much when I was living on my own and I did not want to leave an animal home alone all day.” Cas said sadly while scratching under the dog’s chin. “Maybe I’ll get me a pet now that I have more free time.” He concluded, feeling more chipper at the thought of finally making a lifelong dream come true.

“You should Cas. It’s awesome.” Dean agreed, then turned and pointed towards the rest of his house. “Welcome to my home. Would you like the tour?”

Cas looked up from Miracle to be met with the stunning visual that was Dean’s home.

“Wow.” He said looking around. “Yes, I would love the tour.”

Dean took everyone’s coats and threw them into the closet by the front door then stepped into the main part of the house. The entryway doubled as a mud room and opened into an open floorplan layout. The wood floors throughout the house were reclaimed oak, stained a beautiful dark color that had some black, dark browns and reds in it. About 10 feet inside the entry, on the right side was a staircase leading to the upper level of the house. Right off the entryway and to the left was the dining room with a large handmade oak table with bench seating. It opened the kitchen. A little further inside and to the left was the kitchen, it was open concept, so it was very large. It had a large island with a dark stained butcher’s block countertop inlayed with a second sink in the middle and four seats lining the back of it. Behind that was another row of upper and lower cabinets with the same dark stained butchers block counter tops, the main sink in the middle and dishwasher next to it. The cabinets were a dark almost black shade of grey. At the left end of the kitchen towards the front of the house against a wall was a big French door fridge. The opposite end opened into the oversized living room at the back of the house.

The living room had 20-foot ceilings and floor to ceiling windows on the far left and right walls. The right windows overlooking the horse pasture and the vast landscape. The left windows saw acres of woods. On the back wall there was a beautiful stone fireplace with a big flat screen TV over it. There was a couch that faced the TV, a love seat to the left of the couch facing the windows and an old, worn-out leather recliner that looked slightly out of place next to the newer furniture, on the right side of the couch. In the middle was a blue, black, and grey abstract rug with a dark wood coffee table that Dean had built himself.

Behind the stairs there were 2 rooms, one was the downstairs full bathroom, the other was Dean’s office. Upstairs there were 4 large bedrooms, the master and 3 spare rooms; along with the master suite bathroom and another bathroom in one of the bedrooms, there was another in the hall for his guests. Attached to his room was a balcony that had 2 wood chairs and a wood table between them along with a hot tub in a corner. It was overlooking his horses, he loved sitting out there and watching them graze. It always brought him peace for a moment. Like Dean had admitted to Sam and Eileen in the bar that night, he built this house with the hope of sharing it with someone and eventually… a family of his own.

Dean strode into the kitchen with Cas and Charlie close behind him. “This is the kitchen. Like I said, I designed everything myself and installed it as well.” He gestured to the kitchen in general.

“The craftsmanship is amazing.” Cas complimented, running his hand over the butcher’s block island, looking at every little detail. Dean’s personal touches could be seen and picked out throughout the home.

Dean beamed at him and moved on to the living room.

“The living room obviously.” Dean chuckled at his bad sarcasm. “This is where I spend the most time when I’m home.”

“I think the old recliner really pulls the room together.” Castiel said dryly, throwing a sarcastic and cheeky grin at Dean.

Dean was pleasantly surprised by Cas’s sarcasm, his mouth hung open for a moment before he burst out laughing.

He threw his head back with a deep, full body laugh. Wiping the tears of laughter away from his eyes he said, “Cas I didn’t think you knew what sarcasm was let alone how to use it!”

Charlie was doubled over from laughing at both of them and Cas was chuckling, very proud that he was able to bring Dean some joy. After the laughter subsided Dean continued with the tour. He showed Cas the upstairs and showed him the room he would be staying in, sure to avoid his bedroom. Charlie followed behind even though she knew where everything was, this was like a second home to her.

By the time they were done with the house tour and had gotten settled, it was almost 7. Dean offered to heat up some leftover pasta he had in his fridge. After they ate, they decided to change into their PJ’s and watch a movie. Charlie grabbed a blanket for each of them from the closet directly under the stairs, Cas made a big bowl of popcorn and Dean mixed a few drinks for them. With Miracle snoring away in the old recliner (where he usually slept when downstairs) Charlie plopped onto the love seat, purposely stretching out to take up the whole thing. This caused the only seat available to be next to Dean on the big couch. Once comfortable they decided on Young Frankenstein. Dean had turned most of the lights off, the room was lit mostly from the soft glow of the fireplace.

Charlie had her own small bowl of popcorn, Cas and Dean were sharing the bigger bowl. Dean insisted on holding the bowl, making it where Cas had to take the seat right next to him. At first Cas felt like he might be intruding on Dean’s personal space, but when it came to Cas, Dean never seemed to mind. 45 minutes into the movie, Charlie had fallen asleep, hand in the empty popcorn bowl, snoring softly.

They quietly laughed at the sight she was. When the movie ended, they decided they weren’t tired and put on Dirty Dancing because as Dean put it when Cas asked him if it was his favorite movie, “It’s a Swayze movie. Swayze always gets a pass.”

Cas had to stifle his laughter in the blanket so he would not wake Charlie. He loved that Dean loved a good chick flick as much as he did; even though Dean would rarely admit it. Not long into the movie, Dean had his legs resting over Cas’s lap, head pillowed on a cushion against the armrest. Cas had stiffened at first but soon relaxed into the weight of Dean’s legs draped over him. It was grounding and he wished he could stay that way forever. That night Cas realized just how touch starved he felt.

Dean had always felt the need to be close to Cas, an apparently obvious thing from what his family said. He tried to be subtle at first, but he soon let his guard down and decided that he could touch and lean into Cas as long as Cas was ok with it. He would never do anything to make Cas feel uncomfortable. When they first started spending time together, Dean had flung an arm around Cas’s shoulder and asked if it was ok. Cas of course, being the honest person he was, told him that it was fine, and he would tell him if something wasn’t ok; that it was human nature to want to touch and be close to those you cared about. Dean had laughed and turned fifty shades of red, but it put his mind at ease.

They had been getting closer over those short few weeks and were always within earshot of one another or closer, and Cas was becoming more physical with Dean as well. A hand on Dean’s shoulder, sitting or standing closer than necessary. Cas seemed to be just as drawn to Dean as Dean was to him.

Now, with his legs comfortably across Cas’s lap, Cas’s arms resting on Dean’s legs; Dean couldn’t help but smile when he felt Cas absentmindedly rub his thumb over the side of his leg. Dean didn’t know how he got so lucky to have run into Cas, but he was going to enjoy it for as long as possible.

they were both tired, but they were enjoying each other’s company so much that neither wanted to go to bed. This caused them both to end up falling asleep; Cas was the first to fall asleep. His head fell back against the couch cushions then he started to slide towards Dean. After a few minutes of listening to him snore uncomfortably, Dean gently pulled him down to rest on top of him. Cas was unbothered by this and simply settled down into Dean’s chest with a content sigh. He didn’t have the heart to move, so he placed a gentle kiss atop Cas’s head and pulled the blanket up to cover them both.

 “Night Angel.” Dean whispered, extremely happy with how his evening was ending. He slowly drifted to sleep himself; an arm wrapped around Castiel’s waist, Dirty Dancing continuing to play in the background.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Bad Case of Loving You

Sunday, June 21^st, 1987

Cas was standing at the edge of the lake, water lapping at his feet; Dean was waist deep trying to coax him in. “Dean, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Come on Jimmy, everyone has to learn sometimes.” Dean coaxed, splashing the water around him.

“I’ve never swam before. The deepest water I’ve ever been in was my bath water.” Cas shuddered, crossing his arms, his heart was beating hard in his chest.

“Your parents seriously never taught you to swim?” Dean questioned, his heart breaking even more with the knowledge that his best friend’s parents made him miss out on so many things he considered normal and thought everyone did.

“No, I was not kidding when I said I had never swum before. I’ve never even been around any type of open water.”

“Well, we are going to fix that. now come on in. you’ll be fine. It’s never too late to learn something new.” Dean determined. “Don’t make me come out and get you.” He joked, although completely serious. He was trying to lighten the mood.

“Fine. Only if you’re sure I’ll be fine.” Cas gives in nervously, but he trusts Dean. He knows he wouldn’t ask him to do something he didn’t think Cas could do.

“I promise Jimmy… You’ll be safe with me.” Dean said sincerely.

That gave Cas all the confidence he needed. He smiled at Dean and walked into the water. When he was waist deep next to him, Dean began to show him what to do. He showed him how to float on his back if he started to feel tired, he showed him how to tread water and finally, how to swim freestyle and breaststroke.

Cas was a natural in the water and Dean told him as much. He was so glad he allowed his friend to teach him, he loved every minute of it. From that moment on they spend every day of camp either down at the lake or in the pool, relaxing and playing games. Just enjoying each other’s company.

Now, November 1^st, 2009.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! A loud beeping sound broke into Castiel’s dreaming mind and he stirred. He started to move his head and groaned a little in annoyance, when he realized he was laying on something that was not a bed. It felt firm and lumpy and there was a weight resting around his waist. The beeping continued and he felt what he was laying on shift under him and the beeping stopped. He still had not registered what he was laying on until he heard the rhythm of a heartbeat in his right ear. His eyes shot open when he heard Deans deep gravely morning voice speak up.

 “Cas… Cas wake up. We gotta get ready to leave for the camping trip.”

He quickly sat up and looked down at Dean who was stretching and smiling up at him.

“Oh my god Dean. I’m so sorry I fell asleep on you again.”

“It’s no problem, Cas… I actually slept better the last 2 nights than I have in a while.” Dean smiled shyly and sat up, untangling him and Cas from the blanket.

Cas’s face turned a bright pink and he chuckled awkwardly, not wanting to admit that the last 2 night’s sleep was the best he’s had his entire life.

They both stood up and stretched, Cas looked out the window and realized it was still dark.

“What time is it?” he asked Dean.

“It’s 4am. We need an early start to get there with enough time to actually have some fun.” Dean said with a happy gleam in his eyes.

Cas couldn’t help but grin back at him. He turned to go into the kitchen and startled when he saw Charlie sitting at the island sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Oh Charlie… You scared me.” Cas clutched his chest, breathing heavily.

Dean let out a laugh at Castiel’s expense and patted him on the shoulder as he walked past him into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. Yawning as he went, Cas watched for a moment, frozen where he stood. He noticed every little thing about Dean, in a way he had with no one else. Even with his past relationship. He loved the way morning Dean looked; short hair disheveled, pointing in every direction. He watched as Dean grabbed 2 cups from the cabinet and poured coffee in them, all while yawning and scratching his left hip.

Cas snickered, then realized he was still standing in front of the couch. He quickly walked over to stand next to Charlie as she was hiding her laughter behind her cup. She had clearly been sitting there for a while and had seen the position they had been in before the alarm went off. This seemed to not have bothered Dean in any way, Cas on the other hand was not sure how he felt about this. In his mind he was still in the closet for the most part, especially with strangers. Though he had told Dean and the rest of the family about it. Dean had told him that he was bisexual in the same conversation, sparking slight hope inside Castiel that there might be a chance for them if he can pull his own insecurities out of his mind.

Dean knew exactly how Cas liked his coffee, plain black coffee except for the occasional sugar on a special day. He handed the cup to Cas who thanked him and downed half of it and then excused himself to go upstairs to shower. Dean was still staring towards the stairs Cas had bolted up when Charlie broke through his thoughts.

“Soooo…. Another night with Cas asleep on you?” she questioned with a raise of her eyebrows.

Dean choked on his coffee, not expecting her to say the remark even though it didn’t surprise him.

“Yeah… He fell asleep before I did and I didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so I let him fall asleep on me.” He paused and took another sip of his coffee, “I slept better the last 2 nights then I have in longer than I would like to admit…. I’m lonely Charlie, and… And having him here has been the best month in a long fucking time.” He fiddled with a string

“Wow Dean. I didn’t realize you were so unhappy. Every time I talked to you, you seemed fine.”

Dean chuckled a little and looked down, “I’m a good actor, I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.”

“I’m sorry you felt that way, but I am glad you are happy now… You are happy, aren’t you?” She asked quietly.

Dean looked up with red eyes and a beaming smile. He hadn’t realized how unhappy and lonely he was until he had spent every day for the past month with Cas and woken up next to him 2 days in a row.

 “I am… I am happy. Even if this stays platonic, I think I could stay happy with that. I honestly don’t know if I could ever bring myself to tell him how I feel… I can’t lose him again Charlie.” He sighed; this was too much for him first thing in the morning at 4am. If he was honest with himself, it felt good to tell Charlie how he felt about Cas. He had felt like he might burst when he figured out who Cas really was, but he wasn’t sure how to even address this with him; so, telling Charlie was a relief.

Charlie was a little in shock, she didn’t intend to pull this information from him, she was merely teasing him about it.

“You will tell him… I know you will, in your own time. And it will be perfect.” She promised.

“Thanks, we will see.” He downed the rest of his coffee, “Well we should get going. Sam and Eileen will be here in 30 minutes.” He set his cup down in the sink.

“OK but first…” Charlie said pulling out her phone and showed him 6 pictures, 2 from the night before when they were singing; one they hand their arms slung over each other’s shoulders, singing their hearts out; the other they were standing only inches apart staring into the other’s eyes. Then there was a picture of them sitting next to each other, both laughing. Dean had his head thrown back and Cas was leaning towards him, infectious laughing smile on his face. Another had Cas wrapped around Dean with his head on his chest, both sound asleep the morning after Halloween. And the last was from only minutes prior; Dean passed out on the couch with Cas laying on top of him, Dean’s arm holding him securely.

Dean audibly gasped and said, “These are great! Please send those to me.”

“I will.” She typed on her phone for a second then Dean’s phone went off a few times with the pictures coming through.

“Thanks, now we better hustle.” He heard the water shut off from Cas’s shower. They both headed upstairs to get ready for the trip.

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About 20 minutes later Sam and Eileen came through the front door, Sam yelled, “Hello! We brought breakfast!”

At that they heard thudding down the stairs and Dean came barreling down in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, hair soaking wet.

“Thank god I’m fucking starving.” Dean walked over to the kitchen island where Eileen had set down a paper bag. She swatted his hand away when he tried to reach in the bag and Dean made a wounded puppy face before laughing. He went around the counter to fill his coffee cup back up.

“I made sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits for everyone.” Eileen told him.

“Thanks. I know everyone will really appreciate it.” Dean replied and signed, eagerly waiting for her to unpack the biscuits.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Cas could be heard coming down the stairs. They were in deep conversation, laughing and smiling. Cas had an open bottle of water in his hand and was looking at Charlie while they talked. Cas took a drink of water as he turned to face the others and did an accidental spit take the minute his eyes landed on Dean’s towel clad body. He coughed as Charlie patted his back, water dripping from his mouth onto the floor.

“Sorry… water went down the wrong way.” He said between coughs. His cheeks were turning red form embarrassment while Dean tried to hide a smirk behind his mug. Everyone knew why he really choked but no one was going to say anything, except for Sam who just chuckled quietly and shook his head.

“Anyway, Dean these are for you specifically.” Eileen broke the piercing silence, pushing 2 foil wrapped biscuits towards him. “These have sausage and bacon in them.”

“Yeessssssss.” Dean drawled, pulling them open as quicky as possible.

                        -----------------------------------------------

After they ate, Dean headed upstairs to get dressed while the others packed their things in the Impala and Eileen’s Rav4. The only reason they would be taking 2 cars is because they have the dogs with them.

While they were loading stuff up, Sam walked up behind Cas. “Dean a little too much for you this morning.” He teased, shooting him a wink, and laughed when Cas quickly turned around, almost dropping the tent bag he was carrying and replied, “What?”

“Come on man. It was pretty obvious this morning when you saw Dean shirtless and did a spit take that you are attracted to him. Although I’m pretty sure everyone already knew that after y’alls little duet the other night.”

Cas sighed and threw the tent in the trunk, he turned back to face Sam and asked, “That obvious huh?”

“Painfully.” Sam laughed again and patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to him. But you should know that he likes you Cas… He likes you a lot, but he’s scared.”

Cas was surprised at Sam’s words. He was expecting more teasing from the younger Winchester. But instead, he learned something about Dean he did not know. He closed the trunk and leaned against it, crossing his arms to try to keep warm. It was a cold morning, about 35 degrees.

“Why would he be scared? He seems to be openly Bisexual and very openly flirts with me.” Cas stated. He was a little confused. He couldn’t understand what Dean had to fear, he seemed so self-assured.

“You gotta understand that Dean hasn’t had a real, steady relationship since he was in high school. that was 12 years ago. It’s all been meaningless one-night stands, someone to blow some steam off with or hookups with a friend with benefits friend. To my knowledge, he hasn’t committed to anyone since high school.”

“Why do you think he hasn’t been committed to someone?”

“Honestly…” Sam paused, collecting his words. He wanted to be careful with how he dropped this.

“I think he’s still stuck on a boy he met at camp when he was 8. Obviously, he was too young to know what it was but… He was never able to get over losing the best friend he ever had without being able to say goodbye.” Sam could tell right away that what he had said struck a chord with Cas because his mouth was hanging open, surprise written all over his face. So, Sam added, “I’m sure he’ll come around though. Maybe drop a hint or 2.” He slapped Cas on the shoulder and strode to the house before Cas could answer, a smirk breaking across his face as he left Cas standing there with this new information.

Cas stood there, mouth still agape and dumbstruck. Did Sam know who he was? And if he did, how could he? He had never met Cas before…. Unless Dean had told his brother that he thought Cas might be the boy from camp. He decided he would have to confront Sam about this, it would be better to run this by Sam before he brought it up to Dean to see if Sam thought it would be a good idea to speak to him about it. By the time he had gathered his thoughts everyone was coming out the door and Dean was locking up.

Cas met them at the bottom of the front porch, Dean calling, “Cas, did you get everything you needed?”

They all started walking to the cars, Miracle trotting at Dean’s heels. “Yes, the last thing I put in the car was my bag.” Cas replied, opening the front passenger door to the Impala and climbing in. Charlie slid in the backseat with Miracle and Dean took his place in the driver’s seat.

“Here we go! This is going to be great.” Dean said, smiling as he turned the car around and headed down the driveway, Sam, Eileen, and their puppy Thor following them in Eileen’s car. Cas had to take a couple of steadying breaths to calm his nerves. He needed to get his shit together, and fast.

Chapter Text

Feels Like Today

They stopped at the local grocery store to get some burger buns, a couple bags of chips and some snacks. Dean was planning on making burgers for lunch after they get there and then frying some fish that they would catch. He had some lunch meat he packed in case they were unsuccessful with the fishing, but he always caught big fish in the area he was planning to take everyone too.

The lake was about an hour in the opposite direction of the way they went when Dean took Cas to his favorite spot. The spot where he had never taken anyone before. They pulled into the lake area just before 6am. They paid for entry into the area then headed down to the lake. It wasn’t the lake that everyone usually camped at, it was more secluded. In fact, it was so secluded they had to park the cars and hike into the lake. Luckily, they would only be there for one night, so they didn’t have much to carry. Dean was in the front, leading the way; he was carrying the big tent and a bag with some firewood. Cas was following behind him carrying the bags with the food and his sleeping bag and bedroll, Charlie had her things and Sam was carrying their tent and blow-up mattress while Eileen had all the blankets for everyone.

“Oh wow.” Cas said in wonderment as they walked into the clearing by the lake. “This is beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.” Dean agreed, setting down the things he was carrying. “I like coming out here. Everyone stays by the main lake when they camp then hike into this lake for the day. Then they go back so this lake is never crowded.”

“Dean refuses to stay in the main campsites like a normal person.” Sam teased. “It’s because he thinks he’s a mountain man and doesn’t need to camp in a designated campsite.”

“Hey, I like my privacy. Besides, when you camp you do it for the beauty not the electricity.” Dean explained.

“There’s nothing wrong with having electricity while camping, it’s a convenience.” Sam defended, mostly just to annoy his older brother. Charlie was rolling her eyes as she put her stuff down and Cas was trying not to laugh. Eileen cut Dean off as he opened his mouth to respond to his little brothers annoying ideas.

“Alright you two. Agree to disagree. I would like to eat eventually, and this could go on for a while.” She said pulling out their tent to start setting it up.

Laughter broke out amongst them. They all knew that the brothers could argue about something for hours, even though Dean would probably end up winning.

“Cas can you pull out the tent and help me set it up?” Dean asked him.

“Of course.” Cas grabbed the bag and dumped out the tent. He was determined to figure this out with little to no help even though he had never set one up before. After a few minutes Dean had his side of the tent up and Cas was still struggling to figure out how to get the polls in without the others falling out. When Dean was done, he chuckled and walked over to a frustrated Cas and gently took the polls from him.

“Here Cas, let me show you how to do it. Never set a tent up before huh?” He asked giving Cas a reassuring smile.

Cas sighed in frustration. “No. I’ve never been proper camping… I only ever stayed in a cabin once when I was a kid.”

“Well, it’s never too late to learn!” Dean started to show Cas how to put a tent up and make sure it won’t blow away if some wind comes up. It didn’t take long. They were immersed in their own world, Dean explaining how to set the tent up and inching closer into the others personal space. They were enjoying one anthers company so much that they seemed to forget they weren’t alone. Sam, Eileen, and Charlie had already gotten everything else set up. They had been quietly observing the interaction from a short distance away.

Sam leaned down to Charlie who was quietly snickering to herself and asked, “Do you think they even remember that we are here with them?”

“Probably not.” Charlie said, smiling and looking over to her best friend who was currently drowning in the blue eyes of Cas who had said something to make him laugh really hard. They were both oblivious to the fact that the others were there, but Sam, Eileen and Charlie didn’t care. They were all just glad to see Dean as happy as he was.

“Do you think either one of them will ever get their heads out of their ass’s and realize they belong together.” Eileen signed and spoke.

“Hopefully.” Sam and Charlie replied in unison.

“I made a comment about Dean not being over the boy he met at camp when he was 8.” Sam confessed. Eileen smacked him on the arm and Charlie gasped. Eileen had told him not to say anything, so her response was valid.

“Sam, I told you not to say anything!” Eileen mostly signed but also said quietly so Dean and Cas could not hear her.

“Well, they aren’t going to do anything about it anytime soon, so I was helping it move along quicker.” Sam defended. At this point Dean and Cas were walking the short distance between their tent and Sam’s tent.

“OK. What should we do first?” Dean addressed the group.

it was about 8 am and still quite cold outside, luckily it was bright and sunny.

“I think I would like to learn how to fish.” Cas spoke up first. It was one of the many things in life he had never done but always wanted too. He looked down a little shyly and continued, “I’ve uh…. Never been fishing before.”

Once again, this broke Dean’s heart. Once again, he felt pain and anger for the treatment of his best friend. And once again, he wanted to punch his parents right in their faces.

First, he looked a little sadly at Cas, but he quickly changed his expression before Cas would notice and agreed.

“Sounds great to me!” he clapped Cas on the shoulder and looked at him. “It’s never too late to learn something.” Dean pulled his hand back and walked over to where they had put down the fishing gear.

Cas was taken aback by the seemingly innocent comment. He stared for a moment before shaking his head slightly and following Dean. He had remembered a moment when they were at camp and Dean had said that exact thing to convince Cas to get into the water so he could teach him to swim. In that moment he was reminded of how lucky he was to finally be reunited with Dean, and that he should take this as a sign that he needs to tell him the truth. All he can do is hope that what Sam said this morning is true, and hope that he doesn’t freak out that Cas didn’t tell him who he was sooner. But that was a conversation for another day. Right now, he was finally going to learn how to fish.

                       -----------------------------------------------------

For the remainder of the morning Dean taught Cas to fish; how to bait a hook, what bait was best to use and when, how to cast and how to use a cast net. The only thing he hasn’t been able to teach him yet was how to reel in a fish. They had no luck through the morning hours, and around 11 they decided to give up for now since everyone was starving. Dean started the fire while he put Cas in charge of prepping the burger patties. They worked very well together; Cas followed every instruction that Dean gave him while prepping everything. Cas was pulling apart the lettuce leaves and cutting the tomatoes while Dean finished up the last burger, placing cheese on top of it to get nice and melty. Once the burgers were done, they all sat down around the fire and ate, all of them having the first beer of the day.

After they ate, they decided to throw around the football that Sam had brought. That turned into a wrestling match between Sam and Dean; ending after Sam had to tap out of the headlock Dean had him in, everyone around them laughing. After working up a sweat throwing the football and playing a short game of touch football; Cas and Dean went back to fishing, hoping their luck would change.

After about half an hour of nothing happening again, Cas’s pole got pulled hard.

Charlie, Sam and Eileen were sitting on the logs around the firepit playing cards when they heard the commotion from about 40 feet away, where Cas and Dean were sitting down by the water’s edge.

Cas looked up in surprise from where he was sitting in the extra fold up camping chair Dean let him borrow. Dean shot out of the chair next to him and ran the 5 feet to where the poles were sitting in their in-ground holders Dean had brought. “Cas! Come on!” Dean yelled as he grabbed the pole.

Cas pushed out of the chair and ran over to Dean. He handed Cas the pole and stood to the side, putting his hand over Cas’s right hand that was holding the reel to show him how to not let the fish break the line. After a few seconds Cas seemed to have the hang of it and Dean let go and started cheering him on. It was a decent sized fish that put up a good fight. After a few minutes of fighting it, Cas finally had it pulled onto shore. He held it up while Dean took a picture of him holding the first fish he had ever caught.

Dean felt so much pride for Cas, and Cas could see it written all over his face. Cas couldn’t keep the smile off his face for the rest of the day as they caught more fish and Dean taught him how to clean and fillet them. They had plenty for everyone, Dean battered and fried the fish; they ate chips with it and drank a few more beers. They had great conversation and played a few hands of poker. As it started to get dark, Dean noticed that some clouds were rolling in.  

“Hey Sammy?” Dean called as he finished off his 4^th beer and looked up at the cloudy sky.

“Yeah Dean?” Sam said through his laughter from a bad joke Cas had told.

“Did you check the weather yesterday by any chance?”

This caught Sam’s attention as a low rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance. Dean having never taken his eyes off the sky as he studied the clouds.

“Oh shit…” Sam cursed and looked around the group.

That’s when Cas burst out laughing. He had drunk 4 beers and had opened the bottle of whiskey Dean had brought for them. He had already consumed several shots by this point. Dean was sitting beside him and chuckled quietly while reaching over and taking the bottle of whiskey from him.

“I think that’s enough of that for now.” Dean grabbed the bottle and took a sip of it.

“Hey! I was drinking that.” Cas slurred his words, looking up at Dean with a pronounced frown.

“I think you need to share buddy.” Dean took another sip and handed it over to Charlie. They passed the bottle around for a while, telling stories and bad jokes. The night stayed lighthearted as the rumble of thunder came closer and it started to lightning and sprinkle. By this time, it was around 11 pm.

“I think it’s time for bed. It’s starting to rain.” Charlie said.

“Yeah, that might be a good idea. Don’t want to get wet in this cold air.” Dean agreed, they all stood up, and said their goodnights. Dean had to help Cas to the tent since he drank more than everyone else did and was having trouble standing up on his own. They wobbled their way to inside the tent, Charlie following behind them. The tent was large and roomy even with their things scattered throughout it. Charlie had her stuff in the right corner so she could have a little privacy if needed even though she had spent many nights in the same tent as Dean to save space. Dean was ever the gentleman and always tried to give her privacy even if she said she didn’t need it. Cas and Dean had their things on the left side of the tent.

Charlie flopped onto her bedroll and pulled her hood up over her head after she wiggled into her sleeping bag. It was too cold to sleep without their warm boots on so when Dean helped Cas into his sleeping bag, he struggled a little to get him into it. They were both laughing by the time Cas was tucked into his bag, Dean threw a blanket over the top of him and said goodnight. He flipped on the small space heater and climbed into his own bag and bedroll just as the rain started to pound on the tent.

Good thing I brought that heater. Dean mentally patted himself on the back as settled down. Miracle curled up on top of Dean’s feet with a huff.

 The rain was bound to make ice on the tent which would make it colder that it normally would be. About 2 minutes after Dean closed his eyes, he heard soft snores coming from the direction of where Cas was laying towards his feet. He sat up slightly to see Cas laying on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes. He chuckled a little and laid back down, eager to get to sleep so morning would come faster, and he could see Cas again. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of thunder, rain and Cas’s snoring.

                           ------------------------------------------------  

What seemed like not long after Dean fell asleep, he was awoken by the sound of the tent zipper. He was a light sleeper so anything would usually wake him up. He pulled back his sleeve and looked at his watch. It was 3am. He looked over at Charlie who was still fast asleep, which only left one other person to be the culprit. He looked down and saw that Cas had left his sleeping bag and was nowhere to be seen. He had gone out of the tent and left the flap open slightly.

 What could he be doing awake so late? Dean wondered as he got up, deciding he was going to check on Cas to make sure he was ok.

He quietly walked over to the tent entrance and peeked out, Miracle had gotten up from where he had been sleeping and followed him. Dean heard him get up and told him to stay in the tent. In the distance sitting on a fallen tree by the lakes edge, sat a Cas shaped figure. Puzzled, Dean walked out of the tent and slowly approached him. As he got closer, he saw that Cas had the bottle of whiskey in his hand and was looking up to the sky that was now clear and shinning with stars. When he was only a few feet away he could hear short sniffles and shallow breaths coming from Cas.

What the hell? Dean thought, now determined to figure out why Cas would be so upset.

“Cas.” Dean said cautiously so not to startle him. “You ok man?”

“Oh, Dean.” Cas started, glancing at Dean behind him then wiping his eyes and nose with the back of his sleeve. “I’m fine.” He mumbled, voice breaking at the end.

Dean walked over and sat down next to him, “You don’t sound fine… Talk to me.” He said calmly even though he was very concerned for his friend. He had no idea what could’ve made Cas so upset.

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was just a dream.” He said taking another drink of the whiskey.

“If there’s nothing to talk about then why are you awake at 3am, sitting on a log in the cold and drinking whiskey.” Dean asked, gently taking the bottle away from Cas and looking at the amount he had drank. The bottle was half empty, he had drunk at least a couple shots worth in the few minutes he had been out here.

“It was just a bad dream.” Cas repeated quietly. Insistently. Like he was trying to convince himself it wasn’t real even though it was. He wiped at his eyes again.

Dean sighed sadly and scooted closer. His hip was up against Cas’s, and he put his arm around his shoulder to try to comfort his friend.

“I know a lot about bad dreams. Do you want to tell me about it? Sometimes that helps.”

“I guess it won’t hurt.” Cas slurred and leaned into Dean. The whiskey he’d consumed starting to hit him, mixing with the alcohol from earlier that evening and prompting him to share his dream with his friend. Something he probably would’ve avoided if he was sober.

Dean waited patiently for Cas to start, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s a recurring dream that I have every few months, usually ending in me getting wasted after I wake up in a cold sweat.” It was then that Dean noticed Cas was trembling. He pulled Cas closer to him as he continued, “It’s an actual event that happened in my childhood. I guess you can’t really call it a “bad” dream; but to me it is.” He sniffled again as new tears ran down his face, making him colder in the night air. Still, he kept his eyes hidden from Dean. Dean looked down at Cas as his heart shattered into a million pieces.

“I was 8 years old; I had just come back from my father ripping me from camp. The best summer of my life. It was the first semester of school, and they got my report card. Every subject I was taking I had made an A+, except for one. It was my math class. That night at dinner my mother held the report card and read it out loud to everyone at the table, my father and my brothers. She told me how disappointed she was that I would get such a horrible grade and that it was unacceptable in this family. She always compared me to my oldest brother Michael and the perfect grades he would get in school. Even though Gabe was wild he still managed to get perfect grades to keep them quiet. She told me I must have had too much fun at that camp and decided that was the reason for my failures. Reminding me again that I would never go back. They didn’t realize that the drop in that grade was due to depression.” His shoulders slumped.

Once again fresh tears stung at his eye. Dean reached over and wiped them away then turned Cas to look at him.

“You know I would love to punch your parents in their fucking faces. But sadly, I don’t think I will ever get that chance.” Dean said, trying to cheer Cas up a bit. He felt anger for his friend, and he wanted to do whatever he could to take away Cas’s pain.

Cas chuckled a little at Deans comment, then continued. “They have never once said they were proud of me or congratulated me for anything I ever accomplished. It was always ‘you could do better’ or ‘we don’t approve of what you want regardless of your happiness’. That’s why I pretty much cut them off in college… I just wish they could be proud of and accept the son they have.”

“I know Cas, I’m sorry your childhood was so shitty. I wish I could go back in time and do something about it… but all I can do now is tell you that your parents don’t deserve you and don’t know what they are missing not having you in their lives. Because you are awesome. Your smart, your funny, your sweet, your…” Dean stopped himself before he said what he really wanted to say, this was not the time for that. “you’re the best friend I ever had. I’m glad you moved here, and I hope you know that you are appreciated and loved here with this family of misfits.” Dean said, honestly.

Cas wiped a hand down his face. “Thank you, Dean. I appreciate that. Usually when I have this dream, I just grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and drown my sorrows in it alone. It was nice to have your company.”

“Any time Cas. Anytime you need to talk about anything, let me know. I’ll always be here for you. That's what family is for, to always have your back… no matter what.” Dean consoled him with an affectionate smile. Cas was shaking even worse than he was a few minutes before.

“Come on.” Dean stood and pulled Cas to his feet. “We need to get you out of this cold air and near the heater in the tent.

“OK.” Cas whispered weakly, voice shaking from the cold. They walked back to the tent; Dean still had his arm wrapped around Cas’s shoulders.

He led him into the tent then suggested, “Why don’t you come lay with me. You will get warmer quicker, and you need to get warm so you don’t get sick.”

Cas was too drunk, tired and cold to put up any type of reason for him not to sleep with Dean again. He nodded and crawled into Deans oversized 2 person sleeping bag, Dean crawling in behind him. They situated themselves comfortably and Cas instantly started to warm up; exhaustion overtaking him as his eyes drooped shut.

“Night Cas.” Dean said, moving a strand of hair out of his face.

Cas hummed and replied, “Night Dean.”

Dean smiled and wrapped his arms around him, content to be sleeping next to him once again.

Chapter Text

Hooked On A Feeling

Normally when Dean camps he is the first one to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, going around to everyone else’s tent and waking them up by yelling ‘Rise and shine!’… But not today. Today he was still passed out at 8am with Cas wrapped around him. This morning, they would wake up to the sound of birds chirping and wind rustling the treetops…. And Sam blaring Reveille from his phone speaker into their tent and cackling at the look on Dean’s startled face.

“What the fuck Sam!” Dean yelled, raising his head up and glaring at his little brother.

Cas on the other hand, was a hard sleeper. All he did was groan and push himself further into Dean.

Sam continued to laugh as he closed the tent door and yelled, “Get up. Eileen made breakfast.”

Dean shook his head at his brother’s antics. I guess he got me back for all the times I woke him up at 4am. Dean chuckled and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he propped himself up on his left elbow and nudged Cas.

 “Cas. Cas wake up.”

“Uuugghhh. 5 more minutes.” Cas grumbled, eyes still closed, gently slapping the side of Dean’s face.

Dean smiled and moved his hand off his face. “Come on man, don’t you want breakfast.”

“But I’m so warm. It’s too cold out there.” Cas said groggily. Clearly, he was still a little intoxicated from the events of last night.  Dean had played it cool the last few mornings when Cas would wake up with a look of slight panic on his face from falling asleep on him. That’s how he knew Cas must still be feeling the effects of the whiskey because he wasn’t panicking yet.

Dean unzipped the sleeping bag and threw it back. Cas groaned but proceeded to sit up, rubbing his eyes with his fists. He looked over at Dean and that’s when his eyes widened a little, the memory of last night flooding back to him.

“Oh, Dean I’m so sorry about last night, I never meant for you to find me like that.” Cas apologized.

Dean stood up and offered a hand for Cas to take with a kind smile. “It’s no problem. Like I told you last night. I’ll always be there for you… No matter what.”

Cas smiled and took his hand, Dean pulled him up and they walked out of the tent into the bright sun with everyone else.  This is when Cas realized he had a pounding headache. There was a chorus of good mornings when Cas sat down on one of the logs placed around the firepit. Right after he sat down Dean handed him a cup of coffee and 2 Advil.

“This’ll help.” Dean said, then turned to Eileen to take 2 foil wrapped breakfast tacos from her, he handed one to Cas then sat down next to him.

“So, what are we doing today before we leave?” Sam asked.

“There’s a trail that’s a couple miles long that we could hike. It’s gorgeous.” Dean said behind a mouthful of taco.

“That sounds like fun! I haven’t been on a hike in a long time.” Charlie said excitedly.

Everyone else agreed on going hiking, then coming back to eat some sandwiches for lunch and packing up to head home.

Miracle went on hikes with Dean regularly and was used to riding out in the pastures with him, but Sam and Eileen’s puppy Thor had never been on a hike. It was quite a challenge, all he wanted to do was stop every few feet to sniff at whatever he found. Dean commented that at least he had good leash manners and just wanted to smell everything. they all enjoyed the hike; it was warmer than the day before and sunny, so they were able to take off their heavier jackets.

They got back to the campsite around 11:30. Dean made lunch and then they packed up their things. they made the walk back to the cars and loaded up. Cas was exhausted, he hadn’t expended that much energy in a very long time and all he wanted to do was sleep. They climbed in the cars and headed back home. Charlie was passed out in the backseat within 5 minutes with Miracle laying over her legs. Cas was sitting in the front seat making conversation about if Dean could help him fix a few things in the apartment over the bar he was going to move in.  They were about 30 minutes from the ranch when Cas started yawning and nodding off a bit.

Dean looked over when he heard a low thud and a groan from the seat next to him.  Cas was rubbing the right side of his head that had smacked the window.

Dean chuckled and asked, “You ok Cas?”

“Yes. I’m just tired from last night.”

“I bet. Well, you don’t have to move into the apartment today if you’re too tired. I don’t mind you staying another night in my guest room.” Dean glancing over and make eye contact with him for a split second.

“If you wouldn’t mind, that sounds great.” Cas was very grateful for the generosity of his friend.

They smiled softly at each other for a second then settled into a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride home.

                                                     -----------------------------------------------------------

Once they got back to the ranch Cas went to take a nap while Charlie and Dean decided what to have for dinner and what they would do for the next few days she was here.  A few hours later, Dean had grilled up 3 steaks and Charlie made some mashed potatoes and some green beans. Dean went and woke Cas up to come down and eat. They sat on the front porch around the lit firepit, eating their dinner and enjoying conversation about all the places Dean and Charlie had gone over the years. It was lighthearted and that’s just how Cas hoped it stayed for the night. Around 10pm they decided to go to bed. Once Cas was in the confines of his borrowed room, he looked at his phone for the first time in almost 2 days. He had 4 missed calls from Gabriel and about 20 texts from him as well. Knowing his brother would still be awake, Cas dialed his number.

Gabriel answered on the second ring, “Well, well, well, he lives.” Gabe said sarcastically.

Cas rolled his eyes at his brothers’ ridiculousness. “Of course, I’m alive Gabe. I’ve been on a camping trip in the mountains. Cell reception is bad up there.”

“You… Camping. Wow that’s…. yeah, I can’t picture you camping.” Mock-disbelief dripping from his words.

 “You can’t picture me camping because mother never let me do anything I ever wanted to do. Camping and fishing being high on that list.” Cas grunted while trying to change into his pajama’s, phone resting between his cheek and one shoulder.

“Well good for you little bro. Glad you’re getting to do the things you always wanted to do.” All teasing gone from his voice; Gabriel was happy for his little brother.

“Thank you, Gabriel. Now what did you want when you called me so many times.” Cas asked, climbing under the warm covers of the bed.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m coming out to visit over Thanksgiving.”

“Gabe why are you choosing a holiday to come out?” Cas pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated.  His heartrate rising with the stress that he would be there during a holiday, and they would be spending majority of their time with the Winchester-Harvelle clan. Gabe can be honest enough as it is without alcohol coming into play as well. He was afraid his older brother might say something to Dean and ruin the whole thing. But… There was no escaping it and Cas knew it; once Gabriel got something in his head he wanted to do, he almost always went through with it.

Cas sighed in defeat. “That’ll be fine Gabe. I expect you on your best behavior around Dean and his family though.”

Gabriel huffed in mock surprise. “Castiel I’m hurt you would think I would say or do anything to jeopardize your chances with Dean.”

“We both know how you get when you’re drunk.” Cas retorted.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong. I promise I won’t say anything to lover boy…”

“And?” Cas asked, waiting for what he really wanted to hear. He could feel his brother rolling his eyes through the phone.

“And… I promise I won’t drink an ungodly amount of alcohol and reveal your feelings to him either… Speaking of your feelings, have you found out anymore or said anything to him?” Gabe asked, genuinely curious.

“I think Sam knows who I am.” Cas said quietly.

“What makes you think that?”

“Sam said that Dean was still hung up over his best friend he never got to say goodbye to in camp when he was 8. He said he didn’t think he knew what it was when he was a kid, but it still affects him to this day.” Cas said quickly and quietly. Hoping you could not hear through the walls.

“Oh wow. That’s pretty big. Don’t you think you should say something to him?”

“I will, just… Just not right now.” Cas ran a hand down his face. He knew he needed to do it; he just didn’t know how.

“A word of advice from your older brother. Don’t waste time waiting for the right time… because there is no right time. All you have is the time allotted to you and you never know when that clock is going to run out. Don’t leave this world with regrets Cas.” Gabriel told him, emotion clear in his voice.

Cas didn’t know what to say to his brother. He was not used to this side of Gabe.

“Wow Gabe that was beautiful. I’ll keep that in mind. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow so I’m going to go to sleep now. Thanks for the advice. Goodnight.”

“You’re welcome. Night Cassie.” Gabe said.

Cas hung up and set the phone on the nightstand. He had gotten used to sleeping with the warmth of Dean pressed against him. It took him a while, but he finally fell asleep to the cold sheets against his skin, the bed seeming too large without Dean in it and the words his brother said replaying in his head.

Chapter Text

I Can’t Hold Back

The next day Dean and Charlie helped Cas move into the apartment above the bar. Cas was finally able to get some of the art, decorations, and kitchen things he had in storage out and use them again. They made a target run to get Cas some new bedding and some pillows and he decided he wanted to buy a new TV while he was there. They made one other stop at Home Depot for Dean to replace the old, worn-out showerhead with a new one. After they got done, Dean and Charlie hung out at the bar while Cas was working.

The rest of the week Charlie was there they relaxed a lot. Charlie would tag along with Dean while he was working on the ranch, they went to have dinner at Benny’s restaurant one night but for the most part they always ended up back at the roadhouse. They would have late night snacks and watch movies in the apartment with Cas after he closed up the bar.  

Cas loved his little apartment. He loved that it was cozy, he loved that it was over the bar, and he loved that the man he was falling more deeply in love with everyday could always be found either in the bar working alongside him, or after close, sitting on his couch watching a movie with him. November was flying by, and Cas became increasingly anxious about the arrival of Thanksgiving and his brother.

Dean just could not help it; everyday he found himself not wanting to leave Castiel’s side and everyday he found himself falling more in love with him. He knows he needs to bring up the fact that he knows who Cas is. But even after 2 months of them spending almost every day together; he still didn’t know how to do it.  Sam kept refusing to help him, he would always tell him he was on his own with this one.

                                                        --------------------------------------------------

Wed Nov 25^th, 2009. Present, the day before Thanksgiving.

Cas had told Dean about his brother coming to visit over Thanksgiving and Dean said he couldn’t wait to meet him. Now it was the night before Thanksgiving; Dean was busy prepping the turkey to be fried tomorrow and he was baking a few pies at the ranch. It was 8pm and Cas was driving to the airport to pick up Gabriel; he was still extremely anxious about the whole thing. He just hoped everything would go well tomorrow.

Gabe climbed into Cas’s truck after throwing his suitcase in the back seat. “Wow Cassie, nice ride.”

“Thank you, Gabriel.” Cas said as he pulled the truck onto the highway that would take him back to the roadhouse.

“You seem tense. What’s wrong?” Gabe asked.

“I’m fine… I’m just nervous about you meeting everyone.”

“Cas I already said I was going to be on my best behavior.” Gabe looked at Cas, trying to decipher his expression.

“I really hope you mean that.” Cas turned to meet his brothers eyes for a moment before looking back at the road.

“What do I have to do to prove it to you.” Gabe asked, slightly hurt that Cas was not believing him.

Cas sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I just like the set up that I have here, and I don’t want anything to mess it up.”

“I swear, if the big man upstairs was sitting right here, I will not fuck this up for you.” Gabriel said seriously. “You have my word.”

“Ok, I believe you. But if you do or say anything t….” Cas started but was cut off by Gabriel laughing.

“Cas everything is going to be fine. Stop worrying.”

“Fine. Are you hungry?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I am actually.”

“There’s some extra fajita meat at the Roadhouse that Dean made. I can heat it up when we get there.”

“That’ll work!” Gabe exclaimed, excited to try some of Deans cooking he’s heard so much about.

They made it back to the roadhouse and Cas fixed his brother some leftovers. After they talked about what they had been up to the last couple months and had a few beers, they decided to go to bed. Cas had an early morning he was anxious about and just wanted to crawl into his bed.

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Thursday Nov 26^th, 2009.  Thanksgiving Day

The next morning Cas woke up early as usual, his inner alarm clock not allowing him to sleep late without Dean. He had not accidentally slept in the same bed as Dean since the camping trip and he missed it more than he cared to admit. He got up and got a shower, trying to let the hot water relax his tense muscles. Once finished he pulled on a pair of jeans, an old Led Zeppelin T-Shirt Dean let him have and a light blue flannel (also Deans). He went into the living room and punched Gabriel in the stomach to wake him up, Gabe gasping and cursing his brother for the rude awakening. He then proceeded to make some coffee and breakfast. they sat in the living room and ate their breakfast while watching the morning parade in New York. When Cas went to college, he would go to the parade every year since his parents never let him go or watch it. His phone pinged with a text from Dean.

Dean:
Happy Thanksgiving Cas!
Can’t wait to meet Gabe and for you to try my pie!

Cas:
happy Thanksgiving! Can’t wait to try your pies!
See you at 5 😊

Dean:
See you then! 😉

Cas was smiling widely, Gabriel noticed right away.

“Text from lover boy.” Gabe asked cheekily.

Cas turned a couple shades of red. “Shut up Gabe.”

Gabriel laughed a heartily at his brother’s expense.

“I’ve got to go prepare the mashed potatoes.” Cas said, standing and striding into the kitchen to piddle around until it was actually time to cook the potatoes.

                                                            ----------------------------------------------

                                                                              POV: DEAN

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The timer on the oven was going off for the third time and Dean was struggling to keep the towel around his waist as he barreled down his stairs, dripping water everywhere in his rush to go take his pie’s out.

“ALRIGHT I’M COMING! Son of a bitch!” he bellowed as he almost slipped on the last step of the stairs.

He had heard the time just as he turned the water off. Not wanting to burn the pies, he didn’t even bother to dry off. He opened the oven, and his blueberry, apple and cherry pies were perfectly cooked. He pulled them out and put them on the counter to cool. He ran back upstairs to finish getting ready.

It was about 3pm and Dean was wrapping up his pies and the turkey to cook once he gets to the roadhouse. He told Miracle goodbye and loaded up the Impala, waving to Sam and Eileen as they passed him. He got into the Impala and started down his gravel driveway, blaring Cherry Pie by Warrant.

                                                    __________________________________

It had been soggy snowing since right after the camping trip; the kind of snow that turns brown and gross, a mix of rain, sleet, and snow. Usually, they have already had a big snowstorm that leaves at least 6 inches of packed snow, but not this year. This year they had only had a little over an inch of snow over the last month, there was a storm coming in late tonight that was supposed to produce a foot of snow. Dean had made sure this morning that the cows were fine in the pasture and the horses were warm in their stalls with plenty of food and water.

Dean pulled into the parking lot and brought his pies in, setting them down on the bar top and kissing Ellen on the cheek before going back out to the Impala to get the turkey.

“I gotta get this turkey going before it starts raining. It’s already thundering out there.” Dean grumbled to Ellen who was in the middle of making a broccoli, rice, and cheese casserole. Before Dean could get the turkey out the back door, he saw what Ellen was making and stopped suddenly.

“Ooooo, that’s one of my favorites!”

“I know.” Ellen laughed, “Was the only way your momma could ever get you to eat a vegetable.”

“Oh, I remember.” Dean yelled as he walked out the back door.

“Hey Bobby!” Dean called. Bobby had gotten the fryer set up for him.

“Dean.” Bobby greeted him, bringing the beer in his hand to his mouth and taking a sip of it.

“it’s fucking cold out here.” Dean observed, setting the tray with the turkey on the small table next to the barbeque pit.

“Yeah, I know. Here.” Bobby handed him a beer he had waiting for him.

“Drinking already?”  Dean chuckled, taking the beer, and opening it.

“Gotta get in the holiday mood before Ellen makes me sleep on the couch. Apparently, I’ve been too grumpy lately.”

Dean snorted. “Well, you are a grumpy old man. Even worse when you and Rufus get in the same room.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Right on cue, Cas came out the back door carrying a box with a green bow on it and handed it to Dean.

“Hey Cas. I think you got the wrong holiday man. It’s Thanksgiving not Christmas.” Dean said, taking the box from his friend.

“I know but… I thought you could use it since you’re the main chef for today and…. Since you love to cook.” Cas replied, looking down shyly.

Dean smiled at him then tore into the wrapping. When he got it open, he pulled out a chef’s hat and apron. He through his head back and let out a full body laugh. The apron said, ‘Kiss the Cook with an arrow pointing down towards the crotch, and a hat that said, ‘Cook Naked’.

“Cas this is great!” Dean beamed while still trying to stop laughing. He pulled on the hat and apron right away and pulled Cas into a tight hug. They pulled away, looking into the other’s eyes for a little too long; Dean’s hand still resting on Castiel’s shoulders. Bobby cleared his throat, and they broke eye contact; a little embarrassed.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean said after a second.

“No problem. I couldn’t pass it up when I saw it.” Cas said.

“So, is your brother here yet?” Dean asked, taking another drink from his beer.

“Yes, he got here last night. I picked him up from the airport.”

“Awesome. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“I’ll go see if he’s ready to come down and meet everyone. “Cas turned around and headed back inside the bar.

Dean stared after Cas as he walked inside the bar, then turned around to get back to what he was doing; a smile playing on his face the whole time. He would wear this hat and apron with pride.

                                                      ------------------------------------------------------

About 15 minutes later Cas and Gabriel come down the stairs; they are greeted by Sam, Eileen, Ellen, and Charlie. Charlie had come back up to spend Thanksgiving with them like she did every year, she would be back on Christmas as well.  

“Everyone! This is my brother Gabriel. Gabriel, this is Sam, Eileen, Charlie, Ellen.” Cas said pointing to each person as he introduced them. “Bobby, Jo, and Dean are out back frying the turkey.”

Gabriel was met with a warm welcome from everyone. A few minutes later Dean, Bobby and Jo came through the back door.

“You must be Cas’s brother. Pleasure to meet you, I’m Dean.” Dean said reaching out to shake Gabriel’s hand.

“That’s me. Nice meet you too Deano.” Gabriel joked.

“Wow a nick name already. I like it.” Dean laughed. “This is mine and Sam’s sister, Jo and that’s Bobby.” Dean pointed out the others.

Dean walked around behind the bar and continued, “How about we start this party off right! Thanksgiving shot!”

There was chatter of agreement from everyone as they gathered around the bar; Cas came around the bar to help Dean set the shots. He grabbed some glasses while Dean grabbed the whiskey. After Cas set up all the glasses Dean filled them up, he picked one up and nodded for everyone else to do the same.

“Before we kick off this Thanksgiving dinner there is something I would like to say.” Dean smiled, looking around at his family he loved so very much, and how it had grown in the last couple months.

“I just wanted to say how grateful I am for everyone in this room. I love each and every one of you, even though some of you can annoy the shit out of me.” He joked looking at Sam and Jo as everyone laughed. “You all might not be blood related to me, some of you I’ve known since the day I was born, others I’ve only just met. But… in the words of a wise old grouch…” he glanced over at Bobby. “Family don’t end in blood. True family is there for you, through the good and the bad. They love you unconditionally and they accept you.” He glanced at Cas who was smiling widely at him. “And I love my found family. You don’t have to be blood to be family. And I love this family of misfits so damn much.” He paused for a moment. “So, here’s to old family… and new family!” he concluded raising his glad and shooting back his shot. There was a chorus of agreements as everyone followed his lead and took their shots.

He looked over at Cas and quietly said, “Can I talk to you privately?”

“Of course, Dean.” Cas agreed. He was a little concerned, after the speech he had no idea what Dean would need to talk to him privately about.

Dean walked into the back room where the kitchen was and outside through the back door. Cas followed him after seeing that his brother was in deep conversation with Sam.

“Dean is something wrong?” Cas asked concernedly.

Dean had taken off the apron and hat and set them on the little table. He was looking down nervously and then he met Castiel’s eyes and the world around them seemed to fade away. Dean had been nervous about bringing this up to him, but he didn’t know when else would be a better time. He stared at Cas for a second, mouth opening and closing with silent words that would not escape his mouth.

“Dean?” Cas questioned quietly. His stomach was in his throat and his heart was pounding. Dean didn’t look mad so what could be so hard for him to say.

Dean stopped and took a deep breath then began, “Cas there is something I need to tell you. And I want you to know that I’m not mad. I’m… I’m thrilled actually. Have been for a while.”

Cas was confused and was sure it was written all over his face. Then it hit him…. Dean knew who he was. This is not what he was expecting this conversation to be about. All Cas could do was nod his head in acknowledgment. His heart was pounding in his chest as he listened to Dean continue.

“I… I know who you are Cas. I know that we met when we were 8 at a camp in Yellowstone. You…. You were so shy, and I made it my mission when I got paired up to bunk with you, to bring you out of your shell.” He paused, trying to read Cas’s face. “I can’t tell you how excited and happy I was to find out that after 22 years… I finally was reunited with my best friend….” His eyes were starting to burn with tears as he saw Cas’s eyes brim red. A soft, affectionate smile spread over Dean’s face as he waited for Cas to gather his thoughts.

Finally...Cas found his voice and stuttered, “You… You aren’t upset that I never told you who I was?”

Dean took a step closer and put his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “No man!” Dean shook his head then met Cas’s gaze. Then continued.

“I was distraught when the councilor came and told me your dad picked you up and wouldn’t let you come say goodbye. Cas I was so upset I went home the next day. And frankly, I never got over losing my best friend so suddenly. I went back every year for the next few years hoping for you to be there… But you never were. I blamed myself for a long time that I didn’t go with you. I could’ve said goodbye if I did but none of that matters now. Because somehow, we were brought back together by chance. And I couldn’t be more grateful for it.”

Dean closed the distance between them and pulled Cas into a tight bear hug. “Fuck I missed you so much Cas.” He whispered.

“I missed you too Dean... Every day.” This was all Cas could think to say, he was in shock. He wasn’t prepared to have this conversation today of all days. He squeezed Dean tighter.

When they finally broke apart, they were smiling like crazy at each other. “I want you to know that I’m happy you’re here. Your apart of this family now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Dean reassured him. God he was so in love with Cas. But he couldn’t tell him that yet, now wasn’t the right time.

“Thank you. Finding you again after all these years saved me. I don’t know where I would be without you.” Cas said honestly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was sooner… I figured out who you were pretty quickly, but I just didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t want you to be mad at me that I didn’t tell you sooner.” Cas admitted, looking down. It was normally hard for him to be so open, but this was Dean, and he could tell him anything.

“Hey.” Dean gently lifted Cas’s chin to look at him. “It’s alright. I figured it out quickly too, but I did the same thing. I was too afraid to bring it up because I was afraid that I would lose you again. and I couldn’t do that.”

“So, we’re both idiots.” Cas stated with a chuckle.

Dean let his hand drop from Castiel’s face, both missing the small point of contact. He snorted and agreed, “Yeah I guess we are.”  

Dean wasn’t sure what to say next. He had figured that Cas had forgotten about him, but thankfully he had not.

“Cas, I think we have saved each other.” He smiled softly at him. Cas’s face seemed to light up as he nodded in agreement. “I think so Dean.”

Dean took a step back and grabbed the apron and hat and put them on.

“Help me with this turkey.” He said, pulling on the heat resistant gloves and lifting the turkey out of the fryer. Cas held the high sided pan for him to put it in.

It was cooked perfectly. Cas held the door open for him as he carried the bird inside. Cas helped Ellen finish the bread and fruit salad while Dean got to know Gabe. They all gathered around 2 tables pushed together as Dean carved the turkey. Once everyone had a full plate Dean decided it would be the perfect time to tell everyone who Cas was.

 Sam smiled widely and stood up to hug them both. He knew it was a hard conversation for both, but he played that off as just being happy the two friends had been reunited. Gabriel sent Cas a knowing look that Cas just smiled at. He was genuinely happy.

Dinner was very nice, different conversations tangling with each other. Gabriel seemed to fit in just fine with everyone and just like he promised, he was on his best behavior. Now there was only 2 more steps for them to take: 1- pull their heads out of their ass’s. And 2- one of them needed to admit they were in love with the other.

                                                      -------------------------------------------------------

Thanksgiving ended with everyone at Dean’s house, all of them were sitting in his living room watching a football game with a drink in their hand; conversation flowing freely between everyone. Gabriel and Sam had hit it off and Cas seemed to finally be able to relax. Cas and Dean were sitting next to each other on the big sofa with Charlie on the end next to Cas. Eileen, Ellen and Jo had taken over the kitchen island, Bobby was sitting in the armchair arguing about the football game with Gabriel and Sam who were standing next to the big chair.  Dean and Charlie were talking about what they wanted to eat for Christmas dinner and Cas was looking around at everyone, taking in all the love in the room that he had never felt with his blood family.

That’s when Dean leaned over and whispered in his ear, startling him a little. “You ok Cas?”

Cas looked over at him, surprised to find himself as close to his face as he was. “Yeah, I’m great. Just taking it all in.” he said swallowing hard.

“Having a good Thanksgiving?”

“The best. Thank you again Dean.” Cas said.

Dean was fixing to say something else when he was interrupted by Gabriel bounding over to them and yelling, “We should go to a club tomorrow!”

Cas audibly rolled his eyes. “Gabe you go to clubs all the time in New York and LA. Why do you want to go to one here?” He asked slightly annoyed.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I never get to go with my baby bro. plus Dean seems like he would be a good time in any party setting.”

“Damn straight.” Dean chimed in. “But what you’re going to find in the way of “clubs” out here is honky tonk dance bars. If you want anything close to an actual club your gonna have to drive a little farther away”

“Ppssshhh. I don’t mind driving farther away.” Gabe waved a hand dismissively.

“You mean you don’t mind making me drive you far away in order for you to go to party at some club and then ditch me for some random chick you met.” Cas said bitterly, throwing a glare at his brother.

“That was a long time ago, and you had fun to remember.” Gabriel said defensively. He couldn’t deny that the incident Cas was referring to didn’t happen.

Cas scoffed, feeling more annoyed as the memory came into his mind. “That’s what you think.”

Gabe dismissed him with another wave of his hand. He turned his attention towards Dean. “What do you say Deano?” he asked excitedly.

Dean shrugged, “I know a place not far from here that is both a country dance bar and a normal dance night club. They alternate songs between country line dancing and classic rock songs.  I’ve been there a few times. It’s actually pretty fun.”

If he was being honest with himself, he was dying to get Cas on the dance floor. He loved to have a few drinks and just cut loose. But no one outside of his family needed to know that.

“Ok fine. But you’re not allowed to ditch us this time. I’ll leave your ass there.” Cas said pointing an accusing finger at his brother.

“Noted… then it’s settled! You three,” Gabe said pointing between Cas, Charlie, and Dean. “Me, Sam and Eileen are going tomorrow night.” He stood up and walked back over to where Sam was now standing next to Eileen.

Little did Cas and Dean know that Gabriel and Sam had come up with a plan to go out and try to get them to get comfortable with each other; hoping something would happen on the dance floor.

                                                       ---------------------------------------------

Friday, Nov 27^th 2009

“Cas will you please quit pacing. You’re going to burn a whole into the floor.” Gabriel said from where he was sitting on the couch watching tv. Cas was pacing behind him between the kitchen and living room. It was the next evening, and they were waiting for Dean to get to the roadhouse so they could go to the night club. Cas had been so nervous that he got ready 3 hours early and had been pacing back and forth for the last hour.

“I’m sorry Gabriel but I can’t help it. I know this was just some ploy of yours to try to get me drunk and tell Dean how I feel. You said you would behave yourself, but you still managed to fuck that up.” Cas fumed irritably, running a hand down his face and trying to take a few deep breaths.

“Dude you are reading way too much into this. That’s not what I’m trying to do at all.” Gabe lied. He stood up and walked over to Cas. “I just want to take my little brother and his friends out and have a good time. Tonight, is completely on me.” He said slapping Cas’s shoulder.

Cas rolled his eyes, unsure of whether he should believe him. He was fixing to say as much when he heard Dean’s voice call from the stair well and the apartment door opened. “Hey! Y’all ready to head out?” He asked.

“Let’s go!” Gabe said walking down the stairs.

Dean could see that Cas seemed frustrated, so he asked, “Everything ok?”

“Yes, just my annoying brother is all.” Cas replied while walking out of the apartment.

“I can understand that.” Dean said chuckling.

They all came downstairs and piled into the Impala, Sam and Eileen would be meeting them at the club.

When they pulled into the parking lot about 30 minutes later, Gabriel said in a confused tone, “I though you said this was a night club?” By the look of the place, it didn’t look much different from the roadhouse from the outside; it was a bigger though, probably twice the size.

“Well, I may have exaggerated a little. It’s more of a dance hall. They mostly play country music like I said, but classic rock and the occasional pop song gets played. They are one of the only pride friendly dance halls around here. There’s a wide variety of people that come in. I know the owner really well.” Dean explained.

Gabriel shrugged and said, “Well this should be fun!” and hopped out of the car. Dean turned and smiled to Cas.

Cas felt even more nervous than ever as he climbed out of the car and followed Dean, Charlie and Gabriel into the bar.

“Sam and Eileen said they would meet us inside… Ah there they are.” Dean said when they walked inside; his eyes searching the crowd until he spotted his brother and Eileen standing at the bar in the back of the big room.

The dance floor was in the middle with a mix of tall and short tables around the sides of the room. Stayin Alive by the Bee Gees was playing loudly over the big speakers.  It was rustic looking yet modern, with reclaimed wood walls and the bar had black granite tops. The lights were dimmed but you could still see perfectly fine; it was still early, and Dean knew that on Fridays after 10pm they turned most of the lights off, turned on the colored lights and start playing dance music loudly.

“Hey!” Dean said as they walked up to Sam and Eileen.

“Hey guys!” They said together, standing to greet everyone.

“Is Donna here tonight?” Dean asked Sam.

“Yeah, she went in the back for something, but I told her you were on your way.” Sam said.

“Awesome. Your gonna love Donna.” Dean turned to Cas as he spoke.

Cas nodded and smiled nervously. He felt extremely out of his element. The last time he was at a dance club he sat at the table the whole time, drinking, and waiting for Gabriel who ended up ditching him.

They decided to move to a big table in a corner of the building that had a great view of the dance floor. Cas was sitting against the wall with Charlie on one side and Eileen on the other; Sam was next to Eileen and Dean next to Charlie with Gabriel across from him. They talked and had a few drinks, then a short, chipper looking woman with blonde hair came over with a tray full of shots and nachos. Dean and Sam greeted her loudly as she set the tray down.

“Heyya everybody!” She greeted them brightly in a strong Minnesota accent while she hugged Dean and Sam and said hello to Eileen and Charlie.

“Good to see you all! Dean is this the friend you were telling me about the other day?” She asked him with a huge smile.

“Yeah, this is Cas, and this is his brother Gabriel.” He said pointing to the men.

“Hello.” Cas said with a smile and shook her hand.

“Hi.” Gabriel shook her hand as well.

“Good to meetcha! Well, these shots are on me, and each of you have 2 free beers waiting for you at the bar.” Donna said. Everyone thanked her and she took a shot with them. She then dismissed herself to go tend to the bar.

After a few shots and beers, Dean hands Cas his keys and tells him that he doesn’t trust just anyone with his car, but he knows he’s going to be too drunk to drive home. Cas quit drinking after that, at the time he was just feeling a little relaxed; he had only had the one shot that Donna brought over and the 2 free beers.

He decided he should let loose for once in his life without the influence of alcohol; he was with his best friend, and they really were having a great time. They were laughing talking about everything under the sun. no one had gotten up to dance until Dean heard Boot Scootin’ Boogie start playing; that’s when his eyes got wide, and he pulled Charlie to her feet and dragged her to the dance floor, Sam and Eileen followed behind them. Cas and Gabe watched as they danced the line dance and then stayed out for a few more songs. At one point Dean had switched with Sam and was dancing with Eileen while Charlie danced with Sam to a fast-paced country song. Cas could not stop smiling as he watches his best friend have so much fun. He had no idea Dean could dance. After a while they all came back to the table out of breath and thirsty. They all ordered a couple more rounds of beers except for Sam who, like Cas, had to stick to water or soda now because he was driving.

In the few minutes that they had been sitting at the table Dean had downed 2 more beers, he was all smiles and laughter as he joked with everyone; he also kept looking over at Cas with something behind his eyes that Cas could not decipher. A song came on that Cas recognized as Dancing Queen by Abba, and Dean immediately stood up and walked around Charlie to stand in front of Cas; a look of determination on his face, he said, “Cas you haven’t danced all night! Come on!” he stuck his hand out for him to take.

Cas laughed and shook his head. “I can’t dance Dean.”

Dean snorted and said, “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll teach you.” He flashed a brilliant and playful smile down at him; hand still outstretched.

Cas looked at Charlie who nodded and smiled at him reassuringly.

“Come on Cas.” Dean urged again, then added, “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” He smiled mischievously, knowing Cas would get his reference.

Cas laughed as the memory of them falling asleep to dirty dancing came into his mind’s eye. He grabbed Dean’s hand and he heaved him up. Dean proceeded to drag Cas onto the Dance floor.

Dean stopped them in the middle of the dance floor and started to do a goofy dance, hands held chest height as he wiggled his body to the music. Cas laughed at him and said again, “I told you I can’t dance.” He was swaying back and forth awkwardly.

Without a word, Dean grabbed his hand again and spun him around and then grabbed him into the standard couple’s dance position, spinning Cas occasionally.

“See you can dance.” Dean complimented.

 Cas rolled his eyes at his comment. They were both all smiles, Dean’s eyes were locked onto Castiel’s and some invisible barrier between them began to crumble little by little. The more they danced the closer their bodies came together.

Soon that song ended, and Cherry Pie started to play loudly over the speakers. At this time Dean and Cas were so lost in each other’s eyes that they forgot where they were. The dance floor was pretty crowded so it wasn’t like they were the only ones on it, but this would normally make Cas incredibly uncomfortable. But with Dean holding onto him tight and solid, all he could do was loose himself in the moment. It was getting late, and with the song that was playing everyone on the dance floor looked like that scene from Dirty Dancing when Baby carried the watermelon; Dean and Cas were no exception.

Their faces were a fraction of an inch from one another and suddenly Dean turned Cas around and pulled him close, Castiel’s breath flew out of his lungs. His back now pressed up against Dean; they started grinding on each other. One of Deans hands had traveled down to the front of Cas’s left hip and held him tightly to him; fingers digging into the soft skin of his hip bones. The other wrapping around his waist, hand splayed over his stomach, keeping him close. Cas absentmindedly tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck. Dean leaned down and place a light kiss to the side of Castiel’s neck. Cas was lost in the feeling of euphoria he was experiencing. His mouth fell open as he panted, a quiet moan escaped him just loud enough for Dean to hear; he tilted his head, exposing more of his neck to Dean. Dean saw this as the invitation that Cas meant it to be and immediately dived back down to suck hard at the nape of Cas’s neck, grinding his hips harder into his ass. Cas’s body reacted right on cue; his left hand rested over Dean’s on his hip; their fingers intertwining. He reached behind him and grabbed onto Dean’s hip with his right hand pulling him harder against his ass as they grinded and swayed to the music.

While all this was going on, everyone else at the table watched on in shock. They were far from being the only couple groping each other while dancing, the group just didn’t think it would escalate that quickly.

Charlie about spit out her beer when she looked over at them after Sam nudged her hard in the side. Donna came over to the table with a big smile on her face, walked up to Sam and said, “You owe me 100 bucks.” He frowned and pulled out his wallet, handing her a one-hundred-dollar bill. Eileen smacked Sam on the shoulder, signed and said, “You made a bet with Donna about if they would do something tonight?!”

“Ouch! And yes, because I thought she would lose, and I would be up 100 bucks.” He signed and said defensively. “I am happy something finally did happen though. About damn time.”

“Do you think this’ll last or do you think this is a just while they are drunk thing?” Gabe asked the group.

“Cas isn’t drunk though, only Dean is. So, this isn’t just a drunk thing for Cas. This is more for him.” Eileen observed.

“I don’t think Dean is as drunk as he is letting on.” Sam pointed out.

“Hopefully. They both deserve to be happy, and they are happiest when they are with each other.” Charlie said. Sam, Gabe, and Eileen all agreed.

Cas was soaking in every ounce of affection Dean was giving him; for the first time in his life and since he had moved, he was letting himself relax and be at the mercy of someone else, someone he trusted, someone he loved. Dean had kissed and sucked his way up and down both sides of Castiel’s neck multiple times by the time the song ended, and the DJ announced they would be slowing it down for all the lovers out there. (Probably not the best idea with how most couples were dancing already.) Cas could feel the slight bulge pushing against his ass and he reveled in the feeling of it. Nevertheless, the music changed into Everything I Do by Bryan Adams. As the song started Dean gently turned Cas to face him again. Cas looked into Dean’s forest green eyes as the song continued. His skin was on fire wherever Deans hands roamed.

Dean felt like he was drowning in the blue depths of Cas’s eyes; he could see that he was breathing just as heavy as he was. Dean was not as drunk as everyone probably thought he was. Yes, he was drunk but he knew what he was doing and knew he would remember this night for the rest of his life. The liquid courage did help with the situation though. He also knew that Cas wasn’t drunk at all and was completely ok with this in the moment and that brought him so much happiness.

Then his brain registered what song was playing and he was overcome with emotion for the man only about an inch from his face. This was Cas, he would do anything for Cas, he would be anything for Cas. To Dean, whatever Cas wanted Cas could have.

Cas had slotted a leg between Dean legs in an effort to be as close as possible to him. Dean had his left hand resting on Cas’s hip, right above his ass; his right hand was intertwined with Cas’s left hand as they swayed to the slow rhythm of the love song. They had not taken their eyes off each other the whole time they had been out here, and now Cas saw a spark in Dean’s eyes.

Before he could question it, Dean let go of his left hand and moved his own hand slowly to rest on the side of Cas’s face where his jaw meets his neck. Cas leaning into his touch immediately. Something inside Cas snapped as his heart started racing and everything inside him seemed to scream YES. He decided to listen to his instincts and not ask questions as Dean started to lean forward. There were a million thoughts running through Cas’s mind but the only one he listened too was the one telling him to move forward as well. And suddenly, Dean’s lips were softly pushing against Castiel’s in their first kiss. The initial kiss was quick and chaste, their lips parting after only a few seconds; until Cas heard the low, throaty moan that escaped Dean’s lips.

The next second Cas had closed the very miniscule space between them and slammed his mouth against Deans. At first Dean was taken by surprise but it didn’t take him long to catch up with him, his brain all but short circuiting. Their mouths moving in sync with one another. They kissed rough and long, Cas’s hand finding its way into the back of Dean’s short hair, he tugged at it; causing another groan to emanate from deep within Dean’s chest. Dean’s tongue rubbed at Cas’s lips begging for entrance. When Cas finally opened his mouth for him, Dean ran his tongue seductively along Cas’s as he reached a hand down to squeeze his ass. Cas moaned into the kiss, their hands slowly roaming over each other’s bodies.

They continued to make out until the song started to end, and the front of their pants felt significantly tighter. They broke apart and stared at each other for a long moment, lost in each other’s company and the feeling of being held; something both had been starved of for a very long time.

Dean smiled down at Cas and said, “I think we better go home. The room is starting to spin, although I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or the fact that you’re a good kisser.”

Cas turned red, looked down for a second and chuckled. “I think it’s definitely the alcohol. Come on, let’s get you home.”

Cas turned them to walk back towards the table, Dean had his arm slung over his shoulder and Cas had his arm around his waist. Cas was slightly worried that his brother and friends had seen them but from the look of the table when they approached, it didn’t seem like anyone noticed.

Thank God. Cas thought. Not that he would be ashamed of it, he just didn’t want to have to deal with the teasing at the moment.

“Are y’all ready to go home? The room is starting to spin.” Dean asked.

Everyone agreed and did their best to keep the pair of them from knowing that they saw everything that happened on the dance floor. “Yeah, let’s go. Gabe took care of the tab.” Sam said.

“Thanks Gabe. Your awesome.” Dean said stumbling a little as Cas tried to help him put his coat on. Cas pulled on his trench coat and proceeded to help Dean out to the car. They said their goodbyes to Sam and Eileen, and all piled into the Impala. Charlie and Gabriel in the backseat while Dean sat in the front passenger seat flipping through his cassette tape collection. Cas climbed in the driver’s seat and turned the key, the engine roaring to life.

“What are you looking for?” He asked Dean in an amused tone.

Dean glanced up momentarily from his searching to give Cas a sly grin then looked back down. “AHA!” He exclaimed pulling out an old, worn-out tape that he shoved in the cassette player. His favorite song came blaring though the speakers, Led Zeppelin Ramble On.

Cas shook his head and laughed as Dean began to sing as loudly as possible while they headed home.

Dean was sure everyone in the car thought he was close to blackout drunk with how he was acting, but the truth was, he was just extremely happy with how the night has gone so far.

They got back to the ranch around 1:30am, Cas parked the Impala, and everyone got out; exhausted from the great time they had had.

“It’s too late for you and Gabe to go back to the roadhouse, y’all can just stay here for the night.” Dean said as he yawned and opened the front door to his house.

“I don’t want to imp-” Cas had started to argue as they walked into the house but was cut off by Dean saying, “Cas I’ve told you, your family; my house is your house. In fact, here.” He walked over to the hall closet, stumbling slightly, and reached into the top shelf. He pulled down a key and handed it to Cas. “You now have a key to my house. Use it whenever you like. My house, is your house.” He placed the key in Cas’s hand and closed his fingers around it.

“OK Dean.” Cas managed to say.

He was very surprised that Dean had just given him a key to his house. They both walked into the kitchen where Charlie and Gabe were standing. Gabe had found Dean’s stash of liquor and was pouring 4 shot glasses full of whiskey.

“One last shot for the night!” Gabe announced, raising his glass in a toast. Everyone else picked theirs up and did the same. “here’s to new friends, and an amazing, and eventful night out. Dean, you’ve got some incredible dance moves.” Gabe concluded with a wink. Dean laughed and Cas about choked on his shot.

Dean was patting Cas on the back as he coughed, “You ok there?”

“Yeah, just went down the wrong way.” Cas lied. Had they seen them? Maybe he was talking about when Dean was dancing with Charlie. That seemed to be what Dean thought he was talking about from his reaction.

“OK time to hit the hay.” Gabe said.

“You can take the other spare room I use upstairs. I’ll take the couch.” Cas offered. There currently wasn’t a bed in the 4^th bedroom, Dean was using it as a storage/work out space that rarely got used.

“Thanks, little bro. night.” Gabe saluted Cas as he ran up the stair.

“Night boys.” Charlie said as she kissed Dean and then Cas on the cheek and ran upstairs to the room she always stayed in.

Dean started to walk over to the stairs then stopped as he stumbled a little, turning back to Cas he hesitated, “Cass buddy… I think I’m gonna need some help up these stairs.”

Cas affectionately rolled his eyes and walked over to him. “Come on let’s go.”

He helped get him up the stairs and into his room where Dean proceeded to plop onto his bed face first. Cas had never been in Dean’s room before. It was an oversized master suit, the back wall that had the bed against it was black shiplap, the other walls were a dark grey. The right wall was nothing but floor to ceiling windows with a glass door that opened onto a patio Cas had no idea ever existed. Sheer black curtains hung to the side of the windows. There were large dark stained wooden beams across the ceiling. The bedframe was a beautiful dark stained wood with 2 matching minimalistic night stands on either side of the bed. one had a lamp on it with an alarm clock, the other was empty except for a book that sat on it. There was a dresser against the wall that had the bedroom door on it that matched the nightstands. There was an oversized dog bed at the foot of the bed that Miracle was already curled up in. Cas was looking all around the room in awe. It was a beautiful, and well-designed room. The bathroom was off to the left and from what Cas could see through the cracked door, it was also an oversized bathroom.

Cas leaned down and started to pull Dean’s boots off.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean slurred. He turned over and started to undo his belt and pants. Cas’s eyes widened when Dean stopped and inquired, “Can you grab a pair of sweats from the top drawer?”

“What? Oh... yes.” He turned and pulled out the first pair he found and handed them to him. Dean took them with a nod of his head, then stood up, dropped his jeans and fumbled out of them, then pulled the sweats on. He clumsily pulled off his flannel and dropped it on the floor with his jeans, leaving him in his black t-shirt as he fell back against the bed.

“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas said turning to leave when he was stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist.

“Cas…” Dean called softly.

Cas turned around and met his eyes. He saw an expression he could not decipher. It was searching, and a deep want could be seen in Dean’s green eyes. but there was something more there, was it, dare Cas think, love?

“Cas, stay.” Dean pleaded in a husky whisper; barely audible. He tugged a little at Cas’s wrist. Eyes searching Cas’s face for any sign that he was reading the night wrong.

“Dean, I...” Cas began to stay but Dean interrupted him.

“Please Cas… Just stay…”

Cas studied his face for a moment then nodded.

Dean smiled widely, “You can borrow a pair of my sweats if you want.”

Cas nodded and pulled out another pair of sweat and changing into them. When he turned around Dean was under the covers on his side; he took a deep breath and climbed in next to him.

“Cas?” Dean questioned.

Cas turned on his side to face him. “Yes Dean.”

“Is this, ok?”

Everything in Castiel’s mind came to a screeching halt, and the only thought that came to mind was how happy he currently was. And in that moment an incredible peace washed over him. he sighed contentedly. “It’s great Dean. I’m great.” He assured with a smile.

“Good. Thanks for coming tonight. I had a great time.” Dean grinned and threw his arm over his waist and pulling him closer.

“I had an amazing time. Thank you for the dance.” Cas winked Mischievously. They were face to face, knee to knee, only inches apart. Cas rested his hand on Dean’s chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart under his hand.

Dean chuckled, “Told you you could dance.” He squeezed Cas tighter.

Cas snickered. “Only with you.”

A broad smile and deep blush spread over Dean’s face. Then he leaned forward and kissed Cas on the forehead. “Night Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

That was the night Castiel started to let his guard down, falling deeper in love with the man that seemed to just get him. Accept him and love him without question. He was in deep, but could he bring himself to let Dean completely in and allow him to heal what he thought was broken?

Chapter Text

In My Life

The next morning arrived bright and sunny, the sun bouncing off the fresh layer of snow on the ground. Castiel’s mind was groggy as he squeezed his eyes shut harder from the light beaming through the tall windows. He groaned and rolled over, reaching for the other side of the bed expecting to find Dean’s hard body; instead, all he found was a cold empty bed. His eyes shot open as he sat up. He looked around the room, but it was empty. Panic started to rise in his chest, then his brain registered the sound of a running shower.

 Oh, that makes sense. He thought, trying to slow his racing heart. He looked down at the watch on his hand; it was 10:30am.

Dean had woken up around 9am to the sound of soft snores in his ear. Cas had wrapped himself around him like an octopus, his chest pushed up against Dean’s back, legs intertwined, and his arm wrapped snuggly around his waist. He chuckled quietly and laid there for a few minutes, savoring the feeling of pure happiness he was experiencing. After a moment he decided to get up. He slowly and gently wiggled out of Cas’s grip, he sat up on the edge of the bed, yawning and stretching. While he stretched, he got a whiff of his underarm and made a face.

Oofffhh. Definitely need a shower. He thought. He walks into his bathroom and turns on the shower. He got in and let the hot water wash away the night before.  

Cas stands up and starts to stretch when he hears the shower turn off. A few seconds later a towel clad Dean comes walking out of the bathroom, hair sticking up in every direction. “Oh, mornin Cas.”

Cas swallows hard and says, “Morning Dean.” Desperately trying not to ogle Dean’s towel clad body.

Dean smiles at him as he grabs some clothes out of a drawer and goes back into the bathroom. Cas decides to busy himself by staring out the big window at the beautiful scenery.

“Beautiful isn’t it.” Dean remarks from directly behind him. He had not noticed or heard Dean walk up behind him. It startled him, just enough for his heart to be beating a little faster; although he wasn’t sure if it was from him getting startled or from Dean’s proximity to him. Probably both.

“It is. I had no idea you had a patio up here.”

“It’s my little piece of heaven. It overlooks the horse pastures if you can’t tell.”

“I see that. I would like to go out there when it’s not covered in snow.” Cas said.

Dean chuckled. “That’s the best time to go out there. You haven’t seen it at night yet. I have string lights everywhere and the best part is under that tarp.” Dean pointed in the far corner.

Cas turned to look where he was pointing and saw a large square object sitting there. “Is that a hot tub?”

“You bet your ass it is.” Dean said pridefully. “Next time you come over; you will have to try it out.” He whispered, hot breath puffing against Cas’s ear as he spoke.

Cas’s breath caught in his chest. When he turned around, Dean was walking towards the bedroom door and gave him a wink. “Come on, smells like Charlie started breakfast.”

Cas stood there for a second with his mouth hanging open; when his brain finally caught up with what was happening, he followed Dean out the door and down the stairs.

They came into the kitchen where Gabriel was sitting at the island drinking a cup of coffee and talking to Charlie who was mixing a bowl of what looked to be pancake batter.

“Morning guys!” Charlie said cheerily as Dean came over and kissed her on the cheek, taking the bowl from her and finishing up breakfast.

“Morning Deano. Cas.” Gabriel greeted. Cas thought he seemed to be acting a little funny this morning, no comments about his and Dean’s sleeping arrangement last night. Something was off. Cas decided to ignore this for the moment and grabbed 2 coffee cups from the cabinet and filled them up, handing one to Dean as he flipped the pancakes.

Cas took a few sips of his coffee then started looking around the island for his phone; not seeing it anywhere he decided to ask, “Has anyone seen my phone?”

Charlie was the one to answer his question. “It was sitting here this morning, I plugged it in for you. Its over on the table next to the couch.”

“Thank you, Charlie.” Cas said, walking over and unplugging it. He turned it on and saw that he had 6 missed calls from his brother Michael. He stared at it and mumbled, “What the hell.”

“Cas you, ok?” Dean had stopped whisking the eggs when he heard Cas’s confused tone.

“Yeah, I- I just have a bunch of missed calls from my brother Michael.” Cas said as he walked back into the kitchen, still staring down at his phone.  

“The one you haven’t talked to in years?” Dean questioned with a confused look.

“Yes…. Gabe do you know any reason he would be trying to call me?” Cas asked his brother who was trying to hide behind his coffee cup.

“No, no idea why he would be calling.” Gabe tried and failed to sound innocent.   

Cas glared at Gabe for a moment before saying, “Well, I guess I’ll go call him back.”

He walked up the stairs and into the room he usually stayed in. He takes a deep breath and hits the call button. It rings a few times and then his brother is answering. A voice he hadn’t heard in many years.

“Hello?” Michael says through the phone.

“Hello Michael. It’s been a long time.” Cas says calmly even though his insides are in knots.

“Yes Castiel. It has been too long. How are you? Gabriel told me you moved out of NY.” Michael said conversationally, like it hadn’t been years since they’ve spoken. Even the last time they spoke, they weren’t on friendly terms.

Cas was confused by this whole interaction; he couldn’t understand why his brother was reaching out to him now.

“I’m doing fine. And yes, I moved to Montana, I was tired of the big city.” Cas answered mechanically.

“I think that’s great. You always hated the city.”

This seemed to have pushed Cas over his limit. To him, Michael never gave a shit about him. He tormented him his entire childhood, and never tried to keep in contact or take up for him in his early adult life against his parents the way Gabriel had. So, what was all this bullshit about.

“Don’t act like you know me or have any interest in knowing me, Michael.” His voice was raising now. “You haven’t ever cared to get to know me my entire life. So why are you reaching out now?” Cas said angerly.

Michael sighed audibly on the other end of the phone and said, “I’m sorry Castiel… I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were kids, and I’m sorry for never trying to connect or get to know you when you were an adult. I know I’ve been a shitty brother; I won’t deny that… But something is happening in my life that I would like my little brother to be a part of.” Michael sounded sincere.

This confession from Michael softened Cas a bit. He ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath. “I appreciate your honesty Michael, but what could have happened that has made you want to reconnect with me?”  

“I’m getting married, and I would like both of my brothers to be there.”

 This was the last thing Cas had expected for his brother to say. And his curiosity peeked.

“Oh. Well, that’s wonderful. Is it the same girl you brought home to the last Christmas that I was home for?” Cas asked genuinely curious. He had remembered liking her, she was sweet.

Michael laughed at this because that was 8 years ago and it seemed ridiculous to not be married after 8 years, considering they could more than afford it. “Yes, same girl. Anna. You both got along well from what I remember.”

“Finally decided to make an honest woman of her huh.” Cas sighed, giving in. If Michael was willing to make an effort to get to know him then Cas was willing to do the same. “Alright, I’ll come back for the wedding. When is it?”

“Well see here’s the thing. It’s sooner than you would think it is.” Michael said sounding kind of nervous.

“Ok, when is it? 6 months from now instead of the standard one year?” Cas chuckled. What was the big deal?

“No… Not exactly.”

“Well, when is it Michael, why are you being so mysterious about it?” Cas asked, a little frustrated.

“It’s in three weeks….” Michael said quickly.

“I think I misheard you. Did you say three weeks?” Cas was sure he had misheard him.

“Yes, three weeks from now. The wedding is at 5pm on December 19^th. We had to have it quickly because Anna is pregnant. She wanted to have the wedding before the baby got here and before she was showing too much.” Michael admitted. There was joy in his words when he said his fiancé was expecting.

This was a complete shock to Cas. This was absolutely the last reason he thought they would be rushing the wedding.

“Anna’s pregnant?” he asked in disbelief. He never expected Michael to want kids but then again, he didn’t really know who his brother was as an adult.

“Yes, I can tell you that it wasn’t planned. But I’ve never been more excited for something in my entire life.” Cas could tell that Michael was telling the truth by the tone of his voice. His brother was a lawyer and a damn good one. There was never a soft tone in his voice, until he was talking about his future child.

“Congratulations Michael. I’m really excited for you. I will be at the wedding, but I will have to leave the next day. I have plans for Christmas with my best friend back here at home.” He made a point to call Montana home.

“Thank you. And that sounds fine! I’ll tell Anna you will be coming. She will be excited to see you again. We are having a rehearsal and dinner afterwards the night before. Would you be able to make it for that?” Michael said sounding hopeful.

” Yeah, I’ll be there for that. I’ll get there on Thursday if I can, so I won’t be late for the rehearsal.”

“Sounds great. Let me know if you need anything. Goodbye Castiel.”

“I will. Tell Anna hello. Goodbye Michael.” Cas said and hung up the phone.

He stood up and walked back down the stairs. Everyone was sitting at the island eating, except for Dean who was standing on the kitchen side of it eating his breakfast. He looked up when Cas was walking towards them. He picked up the second plate next to him and handed it to him.

 “How did it go?” He asked.

“Fine. It was weird to talk to him again after so long.”

“What did he want?” Dean asked curiously.

“Nothing special. I’ll tell you about it later.” Cas said taking a bite of pancake. “This is delicious Dean.” He said, trying to change the subject while staring daggers at his brother who was looking anywhere but at him.

Breakfast continued without incident, after they ate and cleaned the kitchen Dean drove them back to the roadhouse so Cas could get his truck and take Gabriel to the airport. Cas was still nervous about what happened at the club the night before, but no one had said anything about it. Cas decided that either Dean did not remember what happened or it simply did not bother him that they made out with each other in a very public setting. He told himself not to worry about it if Dean wasn’t acting any different than normal, and he was not going to talk about it unless Dean brought it up.

The thing was, Dean did remember; he remembered everything. And he was acting different towards Cas but not in a bad way; he was more attentive to Cas and more in Cas’s personal space than he normally would be (if that was possible). Cas really did not mind this change; he wrote it off as a subconscious thing his best friend was doing.

After they got to the roadhouse Cas had a quick shower then came down the stairs, ready to take his brother to the airport. Dean bid them goodbye; told Gabriel not to be a stranger and told Cas to be careful. He would be spending the rest of the day with Charlie until the evening when they would all meet at the bar for dinner.

Now Cas was driving his brother to the airport; Gabe had been unusually quiet. Cas was sure he was hiding something from him, and he was hell bent on finding out what and why.

“So, you talk to Michael now?” Cas asked as he drove, trying to sound conversational.

“Yeah, I’ve been talking to him for about a year now. He reached out to me when mom and dad decided to step down and let him run the company.” Gabriel answered.

“They what?” Cas asked in disbelief. He never thought his parents would ever step away from the company. Especially his mother. He always said that they would die in their offices downtown.  

“Well, as much as you can imagine them stepping down. Dad is on the board as an advisor and plays golf all day. I’ve never seen the man so happy. But mom couldn’t completely step away; she is back to being a lawyer and taking high profile cases while Michael now is the big wig. He runs the company and owns most of it. He’s a different person now that he isn’t under moms’ thumb anymore.” Gabriel blurted out in one breath. Clearly, he had been wanting to tell Cas this for a while.

“That’s good, I guess. Since you have been talking to Michael for about a year now; when were you going to tell me about the wedding they had been planning for the last 3 months? And that Anna was pregnant!?” Cas accused, his voice rising in anger towards the end.

Gabriel sighed, “It wasn’t my news to tell. Besides, Michael asked me not to say anything about it to you. He didn’t think you would agree to come if he told you any sooner than a few weeks away.”

“Oh so you listen to Michael now!”

“No, that’s not…” Gabe let out a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not exactly it. It was actually my idea not to tell you until now.”

“What? Why?”

“Michael wanted to tell you right after he found out Anna was pregnant. He was so excited. But it was right after you moved, and you seemed so happy after moving here that I didn’t want anything to bring you back to NY until I thought you were completely settled here. I was just trying to protect my little brother.” Gabriel admitted.

Cas deflated. Gabriel has never done anything in the last 12 years to purposefully hurt him. He had taken him in when he needed a friend the most. “I appreciate you trying to protect me, but I am an adult, I can make my own decisions. But what’s done is done. Can I stay with you when I come down for the wedding? I won’t be there long, I have plans for Christmas with my family here.”

“I’ll treat you like an adult from now on. And yes, you can stay with me.” Gabriel paused for a second and then continued, “Since you’re such an adult and I can’t keep things from you; I should probably tell you that our whole table last night saw you and Dean making out on the dance floor.”

Cas had been taking a sip of his water when Gabe said this, causing him to choke on it. Once the coughing fit died down, he asked, “Are you serious?”

“Very broski. Sam actually lost a bet to Donna over it, and Charlie choked on her beer when Sam pointed y’all out.”

Cas was 50 shades of red at that moment and stammering over an explanation. “Damn it Gabriel!” He started to say angerly.  

“If it makes you feel any better, everyone including myself thinks you both belong together. It’s painfully obvious you are both head over heels for each other. Remember what I said, don’t waste time thinking about it. Just do something about it.” Gabriel said as they were pulling up to the airport drop off. “Oh, and by the way, Dean wasn’t nearly as drunk as you think he was. I’m positive he remembers everything.”

Cas was in shock with his mouth hanging open, unable to speak. He just stared at Gabe as he got and said with a wink, “Good luck lover boy!”

The whole drive back to the bar Cas thought about what he should do. He concluded that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at the moment, and he wasn’t sure he ever would be. His last relationship was as fucked up as they come, and he didn’t want to ruin the friendship he had with Dean. He wasn’t willing to put that in jeopardy or hurt Dean. He couldn’t bear the thought of being the person to cause his best friend any kind of pain. So, he would be silent. He was not going to say anything or make any moves until he thought he was ready. It wasn’t that Cas was a coward; he used to be a well-respected CEO of a large company. He had a backbone, and he could stand up for himself; he’s had people call him a ruthless asshole to his face before. But this wasn’t business; this was Dean. He thought that Dean deserved someone else. But for Dean; there was no one else.

He parked his truck alongside the Impala and walked inside. He saw Dean and Charlie sitting in the family booth with Jo laughing about something. Cas’s heart leapt in his chest with excitement and love for his best friend. The panic attack he had been having the entire drive back melted away instantly after seeing him. Ok maybe he was being stupid. Maybe the universe knew what he needed more than he did. And in that moment, he agreed with himself to just see where things went; not force anything to happen but maybe not run away if something did happen. That would be the challenging part; the not running away.

He walked over to where they were sitting and was greeted happily by everyone there. “Cas why don’t you sit down, dinner will be done in a few minutes.” Dean grinned, patting the seat next to him.

“I will but can I talk to you privately for a second?” He asked.

“Sure buddy. Let’s go up the apartment since Ellen is in the kitchen.” Dean suggested. He got up and lead them up the stairs to Cas’s apartment. Cas unlocked the door and they walked in; he went to grab them a beer from his fridge and came to sit down next to Dean.

He handed him a beer as Dean asked, “What’s on your mind Cas?”

“I wanted to talk to you about my brother calling me this morning.”

“Ok, what’s up?” Dean took a sip of his beer.

Cas took a deep breath and began, “He was calling to tell me that he is getting married to his longtime girlfriend.”

“That’s great. But why do you seem stressed about it?” Dean asked, sensing there was something Cas was keeping to himself.

“Well, he called because he wants me to come back for the wedding. I said I would be there, but the problem is I don’t know if I should go or not.” Cas sighed heavily. “It’s not like we were best friends growing up. he was 12 years older than me and tormented me my entire childhood. Then when I was an adult, he always had to one up me to my parents and never took an interest in trying to get to know me. So why should I go back. what if it’s just a ploy to get me to come back?” Cas ended a little out of breath from the anxiety he was starting to feel creep back into his system.

Dean reached out and put his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “OK, ok, just hold on there. Slow down and take a breath because you are starting to hyperventilate.” Cas looked at Dean and breathed with him slowly.

“When is the wedding?” Dean asked when it seemed like Cas had calmed down a bit.

“It’s in three weeks.”

“Oh, wow that’s really fast.”

“Anna is pregnant so that’s why the wedding is so soon. Michael said he couldn’t be happier about it, and he wants both his brothers there with him.”

“That’s awesome that you are going to be an uncle. I can’t wait for Sam and Eileen to have a kid.” Dean said fondly. “If you are looking for my opinion, I think you should go.”

Cas looked up; shock written all over his face as Dean continued. “Your brother who you never really had a relationship with wants you to come to his wedding and clearly wants you to be a part of his child’s life. I know how he was with you, but people do change, and it seems like he has. This does not mean you have to move back or that you need to start interacting with your parents again. But if you can get a relationship back with both your brothers; then that’s all the family you will ever need. You don’t need your parents to be a family with your brothers. Plus, you have us here. It’s only for a few days and you’ll be back here for Christmas.” Dean finished with a smile.

 On the outside Dean looked happy and encouraging; but on the inside he was terrified that this might actually take Cas back to New York and away from him for good. But he was not going to let Cas know his fear. He knew Cas needed his brothers; just like he needed his brother.

“OK Dean. I’ll go. I hope I can make amends with him. It really would be nice to have a relationship with both of them. I would like to see my future niece or nephew too. I’ll only be gone for a few days. I’ll be back a couple days before Christmas.” Cas said, starting to feel excited about being an uncle.

“You better be. I need my Christmas movie watching buddy with me on Christmas eve.” Dean joked.

“Come on. Let’s go back down and get some dinner. Ellen is making spaghetti.” Dean offered a hand to help Cas up. he took it and Dean pulled him to his feet. He smiled at him as they walked back downstairs.

“Sounds great. I’m starving.” Cas realized he hadn’t eaten since that morning.  

They got back to the table just as Ellen was setting down the big bowl of spaghetti. They slid back into the booth next to Charlie as Ellen and Bobby sat down next to Jo. They talked and laughed over the course of dinner. At one point, Cas was looking around at his found family and a warm feeling washed over him. This state, this town, this bar, and this family was his home. Time seemed to slow down as he took it all in. Dean had his head thrown back in laughter at his own corny joke while everyone else either rolled their eyes or shook their head, trying hard to hold in their own laughter. This is where he belonged; with the people he loved and who loved him. Dean looked over at him and smiled fondly behind an oversized, chipmunked bite of pasta. There was no place he would rather be. This was his home…

Chapter Text

I Want to Break Free

The next three weeks went by quickly. Charlie had left the day after Gabriel with the promise that she would seem them all over Christmas. Cas was busy working in the bar and Dean was busy making sure his cows were ok through the winter storm they had the week after Thanksgiving. When he bought his ticket to New York, Dean put on a smile and told him he was going to have a great time, even though his insides were in knots. Even with their busy schedules, they still managed the spend every evening together. Every night that Cas worked Dean would come have dinner with him at the bar then they would go up to Cas’s apartment and watch a Christmas movie. On Castiel’s two days off, he would spend his day either helping Dean work on cars at the auto shop or helping him care for the cows and horses.

 In the evenings they would curl up on Dean’s couch and watch more movies. One night while Dean was at the roadhouse for dinner, he helped Cas hang Christmas lights all around the bar. In return, Cas helped Dean hang his own on his house.  About two weeks before Christmas, Dean pulled his old truck out of the auto shop to follow Cas to the nearest Christmas tree lot. There they bought Ellen a tree for the bar, Cas a small tree for his apartment and Dean bought a 14-foot tree for his house. He didn’t usually get one so big and he would have to buy more lights and ornaments, but he wanted it to feel like Christmas in his home for Cas.

They had grown comfortable in their new routine, neither one mentioning New York, neither one mentioning what happened on the dance floor, neither one willing to bring anything up that might mean talking about their feelings because it was easier than jeopardizing the wonderful friendship that they had (like that could happen) … It was also the fact that both of them told themselves they would wait and see what happens. Neither one making a move, or realizing they were both waiting on the other. So, at present they were at a stalemate.

The closer the trip got the more Castiel’s stomach twisted into knots. Even though Michael did not say whether his parents would be at the wedding or not, he knew they would be. He knew he would have to at least see them face to face if not interact with them for the first time since he was 22. That was the last time he had come home for Christmas, the last time he saw his parents or Michael. It ended with him being bruised and having a black eye from his ex-girlfriend after he broke up with her. Cas was tired of the torment, the physical and emotional harm she caused him, and he finally ended it. He was a gentleman; he had never laid a hand on her no matter how many times she slapped or punched him. He was tired of his parents still running part of his life and that was the last tie he had to them.

He was not sure how he was supposed to act around his parents if they even acknowledged that he was even there. He was still worried that it was part of a ploy to get him to come back home; even though Gabriel had told him multiple times that it was strictly a wedding, and he would never agree to anything like that. It made Cas feel a little better, but he still had his doubts. At least Gabe would be there. Cas just wished Dean could be there as well.

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Now it was 4:30am on the morning of Friday the 18^th of December. He was unable to get a flight on Thursday like he had though because of the holidays, this seat was a cancelation. His flight was at 7am. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala next to Dean who insisted on driving him. Dean needed to see Cas as much as possible before he left so there was no way he would let him drive himself. Cas had spent the night on Dean’s couch, watching reruns of the newest season of The Office. Dean had gotten him into it over the last few weeks. They binged the first 4 seasons and the few episodes of season 5 he had missed in one weekend so they could watch new episodes together. They watched every new episode together without fail. They also started the new series by the same creators called Parks and Recreation; Cas having fallen in love with the workplace sitcoms. He was too nervous to sleep, while Dean had passed out; sprawled out on the couch next to him around 10pm.

Cas was staring out the passenger window of the Impala, doing the usual things he did out of nervous habit; chewing on his lip and bouncing his knee to the rhythm of the music that flowed through the car as they drove. He was so lost in thought he honestly had no idea what was playing. Suddenly he felt a hand rest gently on his bouncing knee and he looked over, surprised.

Dean was looking at him with concern plastered on his face as they sat at a red light only a few minutes away from the airport. “Cas you ok buddy?”

“Yes, just nervous. If my parents are there this will be the first time in 8 years that I will see them.” Cas let out an exhausted breath.

Dean’s heart broke for his friend, he wished he could go with him, but it was hard enough getting a ticket so close to Christmas for Cas alone. “I’m sorry you’re probably going to see them. But I want you to know that I’m really proud of you for going. Even though it’s going to be hard, I think this will be good for you.”

Cas looked at Dean with a small grateful smile on his face. “Thank you, Dean. It means a lot.”

 I wish you were going with me. Cas thought as he said his thanks.

As Dean pulled the Impala into the drop off zone and threw baby into park, he turned to Cas and said, “It’s only for a few days. You’ll be back day after tomorrow.”

Cas looked down at his hands as his heart pounded even louder in his ears. “I know, this will be the first time I’ve left since I moved here.”

“Hey.” Dean purposefully moved in a way to catch Cas’s eyes so he would look at him. He stared into those ocean eyes for a moment, trying to gauge what was behind them. “Listen, you need anything; doesn’t matter day or night, you call me. Something happens I want to know, ok?” he offered Cas a soft smile.

Cas could see in his face that Dean meant what he said, he could see the sincerity, and the worry that Dean was trying to hide. “I will. Thank you again- for everything.”

“You better go before you miss your flight.” Dean murmured, trying to hide the emotion that was building inside him. Though it was true, if Cas didn’t go now, he would miss his flight.

Cas nodded, got out and grabbed his duffle bag that was at his feet. “Goodbye Dean.”

Those two simple words were like a knife in Dean’s heart.

“I’ll see you Sunday! Have a safe flight!” He called after Cas through the window. Cas waved back, turned, and walked into the terminal. He could not bring himself to say goodbye, it sounded to permanent. He also knew that if he were to have gotten out of the car to hug Cas, he would’ve never let go. As he watched Cas walk away, the knife in his heart seemed to twist as a single tear rolled down his face. He quickly wiped it away and pulled Baby out onto the road that led to the highway. He had cows he needed to tend too.

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POV: Cas

Cas got through security just fine; since it was so early in the morning there weren’t many people there. He was used to traveling though; he had gone on many vacations with Gabriel over the past 12 years, although he still had no idea how his brother could afford all the vacations and the condo that he owned in Manhattan near central park. The first thing he did after getting through security was grab a coffee and a shitty breakfast sandwich he barely touched. He downed his cup of coffee in just a few minutes while he waited for them to start boarding the plane. While he sat there waiting, his thoughts were with Dean and how much he would miss him. He knew it wasn’t a long time, but it was going to be hard nonetheless.

Finally, they started boarding. Once he was on the plane, he took out his phone and sent 2 texts; one to Gabriel to let him know he was boarding on time and what time they were supposed to land. And one to Dean to let him know he was fixing to take off. Cas’s flight was 4 hours, and not long into it he was glad he had bought 2 movies on his phone to watch to keep his mind off everything. his stomach had been in knots the last few days, and nothing had really changed since he left.

The flight was boring and long, they landed without incident in a snow cover New York. The snow reminded Cas of Montana, of Dean. He turned his phone on as soon as they landed. He was met by 3 texts; one from Gabriel telling his where he would meet him to pick him up, one from Michael saying he couldn’t wait to see him that night at the rehearsal, and one from Dean; telling him to have a good flight and that he misses him already. He replied to all three as he got off the plane and walked to the agreed upon meeting spot.

The cold wind that rushed into Castiel’s face was a rude reminder that he was in NY. Not that it wasn’t cold and windy in Montana too but there was just something different about it. It felt harsher and more unforgiving than it did in the mountains with the dry mountain air mixing with the moist air from the snowstorm. It was also so loud in the city compared to the Winchester Ranch or even the Roadhouse. Cas had a feeling that he wouldn’t be getting much sleep while he was here.

 It only took Cas a second of scanning the crowd before he found his extremely short brother, waving and yelling at him. He strode towards him and was met with a hug; he really was happy to see him again, annoying as he could be.

“Hey little bro, how was your flight?” Gabriel asked as they got into the waiting cab.

Glad to be in the warm car Cas replied, “It was fine. Nothing to report.”

“Oh, someone is a sourpuss today.” Gabriel said in a teasing tone.

Cas rolled his eyes as he gave his brother his best bitch face. He was tired, stressed and in no mood to deal with Gabriel’s shit.

“I’m not a sourpuss, I haven’t slept all night and just got off an early morning 4-hour flight. I’m tired Gabriel.” Cas turned to rest his head against the window of the cab, watching the busy city fly by as they drove; reminding him of how much he hated it here.

“Ok, ok.” Gabe threw his hands up in surrender. He knew the real reason that Cass was being so short with him was because he was coming back to the one place he hated, without the person he trusted the most by his side. The only person capable of shielding him from the memories that used to haunt him. Dean.

“Are you hungry? The rehearsal isn’t until 6 and we won’t eat dinner until our reservations at 8.” Gabriel asked him.

 He knew Cass hadn’t eaten hardly anything the last few days from the texts he had gotten from Dean the day before, asking him to try to get him to eat even a little something while he was there.

Cass didn’t feel like eating, his stomach still twisting but he knew he needed to, or he was probably going to be sick at some point.

“Sure. I’ll grab something from that pizza place near your condo.” He said kindlier than he had been speaking before.

He knew his brother was just concerned for him and did not deserve to be on the receiving end of Castiel’s frustrations. Cass sighed and focused his attention out the window at the passing buildings as Gabriel told the cab driver the new destination.

The cab dropped them off a few blocks from Gabriel’s condo where the pizza place was. They got some lunch and ate as they walked the few short blocks to the condo. It was cold and looked like it was going to start snowing again so they hurried on their way. This was the first proper meal Cas had eaten in the last few days, the only thing he loved about the city was the pizza. Somehow as he ate, he found himself thinking of Dean and how much he would love this pizza. They finally made it to Gabriel’s building and up to his condo. He unlocked the door, and they went inside, Cas heading straight into the spare room he always used and directly into the shower. He hadn’t realized having been in his trench coat all day that he was extremely sweaty from stress.

Once Cas was out of the shower he got dressed and headed back into the living room to look for his brother and figure out the plan for the rest of the day. He came into the living room and plopped onto the couch next to Gabriel. Gabriel had owned this condo for several years now and Cas was surprised at how long he had stayed in one place. It was the last condo at the top of the building, you could see the entirety of Central Park from the main wall of nothing but floor to ceiling windows. The living room, dining room and kitchen were one big, oversized room. When you came in from the entryway the kitchen was on the right with a large island. The dining room was on the far left where a big table was scattered with what Cas presumed were papers for whatever job he did. And the sunken living room was in the middle. The 4 bedrooms and attached bathrooms were down a hall to the left.

“So, what is the plan for today?” Cas asked while absentmindedly scratching the short, dark beard on his face.

“Well, like I said earlier. The rehearsal isn’t until 6 and then dinner at 8 so we are free men until then.” Gabriel informed him without looking up from the laptop he was frantically typing on.

Cas shook his head slowly as he watched his brother type at what looked to be lightspeed. “Gabe are you ever going to tell me what you do for work?”

“Probably not little bro.” Gabe smirked at Cas briefly.

Cas rolled eyes and picked up the tv remote that sat on the coffee table. Turning it on, he flipped to the familiar channel that played The Office. He watched the episodes that were on until it was time to get ready for the rehearsal, all the while thinking about Dean and how much he already missed him.

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The next 2 hours Cas halfheartedly watched tv and played on his phone while Gabriel worked. When it got closer to 6, he got up to go get dressed. Gabriel had informed him that the restaurant they would be going to would be an upscale place and he should wear something appropriate. After Cas quit his job, he sold all his suits so all he had left was a pair of slacks, a black button-down shirt and a black sports jacket. Since that is what he would be wearing to the wedding the next day he opted for a pair of dark wash jeans with the button down and jacket along with his dark brown boots. He knew he was going to be out of place with the rest of the family; especially tomorrow, with no suit and sporting a short beard but he really couldn’t give two shakes of a rat’s ass as Dean would put it.  

He came out into the living room where Gabriel was waiting for him.

“Wow Cassie you look nice.” Gabriel whistled. “I thought you would’ve shaved though. You know how mother hates facial hair.” Gabriel said this as his way of trying to see if his little brother was going to be able to hold his own against their mother. Gabe himself was sporting a goatee but his mother knew she had no influence over him and had given up when he was a teenager.

Cas stopped at the hall closet to grab his trench coat then turned to Gabe. “I know. But mother does not control me anymore and if I want a beard, I will have a beard. If she has anything to say about it, in the words of the eldest Winchester; she can kiss my ass.”

Gabriel snorted, glad to see his little brother wouldn’t be taking any of their mothers shit this visit.

“Good for you Cas. I’m proud of you. The old Cas cared to much what other people thought.” Gabriel clapped his hand on his brothers’ shoulder and smiled approvingly at him before heading out the door.

They went down to the street and got a cab to where the wedding venue would be for the rehearsal. Once they stood outside the building, Cas found that his heart was racing, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know if he could do this.

 As Gabriel started to walk up the stone steps Cas caught his arm and said, “Give me a second. I – I need to – to make a quick phone call.”

He turned on his heels and hurried down the street without waiting for a reply; pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dean’s number without thinking too much about it. The only thing running through his mind was that he needed to hear Dean’s voice.

It only rang twice before the deep, gruff voice that Cas knew would calm him instantly, came though the phone.

” Cas? What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be at the rehearsal?”  Dean’s voice sounded a little panicked.

Cas let out an immediate sigh of relieve as a calm feeling washed over him. “Yeah, yeah, we just got here but…” He trailed off, not wanting to admit he was having a panic attack.

“But what? Are you ok?” Dean sounded calm, though Cas knew that by the waver of his own voice, his best friend knew something was off.

“Yeah, I’m…” Cas trailed off again. Dean waiting patiently for him to continue. “No, I’m not fine Dean.”

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Cas took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes, “I don’t think I can do this… See my family after so long. I’m not the person I used to be, and I know I’m nothing like what they wanted me to be.”

“Your right Cas, you’re not the same person you used to be. But that’s a good thing. You’re not conforming to what they wanted you to be. You’re your own person and you have changed even in the last few months.”  Dean paused for a moment and Cas listened intensely, slowly gaining his confidence back from the words Dean spoke.

“Gabe told me over Thanksgiving how proud he was of you for finally leaving and not looking back. I know going back for this is hard, but you can do this. Now you turn around, take a deep breath, go in that building and show everyone in it what a badass you have become and that no one will ever control you again.” Dean finished.

Cas found himself standing a little taller and seeming to have found some confidence. “Thank you, Dean I needed that. I don’t know what about this city turns me into a fucking wimp.”

Dean let out a quiet laugh on the other end of the phone, “You’re not a wimp Cas. You have every right to be nervous. But don’t let them get under your skin.”

“I will try. Thank you again.” Cas smiled to himself, now feeling more at ease.

“Good. Call me if you need anything. And try to have a good time. I gotta go put this horse up. been out moving the cows all day with Sam.”

“Ok, I will. Stay warm. Goodbye Dean.” Cas waited for Dean’s reply before he hung up the phone. He felt a little better as he turned and walked back to where Gabriel was standing.

“Everything ok?” Gabe asked.

“Yes, just had to make a call.” Cas replied nonchalantly. Gabe just shrugged, well aware of what was happening and who Cas called.

 They walked into the venue, it was a beautiful old church, it fit Michael and Anna’s taste well. Cas was surprised by some of the décor that had already been set out and even more surprised to walk into the main room and find Anna with a wedding planner by her side giving out directions and not his mother. In fact, his mother was nowhere in sight. Anna was a petite woman with long dark red hair. She had an air about her that commanded the attention of the room she was in, yet she was always very sweet to him the few times he had met her. As soon as Anna saw Gabriel and Cas, she dropped what she was doing and came over to greet them. She threw her arms around Gabriel who welcomed her by lifting her off the ground in a big hug. (She was a few inches shorter than his own short stature so he could easily pick her up.)

She turned to Cas and smiled, “Castiel. It’s been a long time. I’m so glad you could make it.” She wrapped him in a tight hug that took him by surprise. He hugged her back and smiled nervously down at her as he replied, “Yes, it’s been too long. Thank you for inviting me. And congratulations on the baby.”

Her eyes lit up as he mentioned her future child. “Thank you! Michael and I are very excited.” She paused for a moment. “Castiel, I want to thank you for answering Michael’s call and coming up here. You don’t know how much it means to him to have both his brother’s here for the wedding. The last year has been very hard on him, what with taking over the law firm and distancing himself from your mother. It hasn’t been easy for him.” She said with a sad smile.

This news came as a shock to Cas. He never thought Michael would distance himself from their mother; he was always the favorite child that could do no wrong. He was sure the shock of the news could be seen all over his face by what Anna said next.

“That’s why you will notice that Naomi is not here right now, and I am making decisions for my own wedding. She will be joining us for dinner and then at the wedding tomorrow, but she was not welcome here tonight.”

“You... You got Michael to distance himself from mother?” he stammered.

“Yes. I’ve been working on him for years, trying to convince him that she was poisoning his relationship with everyone in his life, including me. Last year we had a fight, he went to her house seeking council and when she dismissed our relationship and insulted me to him; he told her off and stormed out. A few weeks later she drunkenly told him how she really felt about a lot of things and the horrible ways she treated you and that was the last straw for him. He was done being the good little soldier. That’s when he reached out to Gabriel, and they started talking and spending time together. He got the law firm in his name not long after and things have been much better. Especially after finding out, we were pregnant.” She concluded with a vibrant smile while rubbing a hand over the almost unnoticeable small baby bump.

“Wow, Anna. I don’t know what to say. That was a lot to take in… but I’m glad he has finally taken the steps to remove her from his life. he will be better for it.” Cas smiled, his mind reeling from all the new information that was just thrown at him.

He had not noticed that Gabriel seemed to have disappeared. Looking around he saw him walking back towards them, laughing with his arm thrown around Michael’s waist and their father a few steps behind them.

What is he doing here if mom isn’t welcome tonight? Cas wondered. He was starting to feel overwhelmed, but he just kept thinking about what Dean had told him. He could do this.

They stopped in front of him and Anna, Michael looked up at Cas with a fond smile and said, “Hey little brother.” And then wrapped him in a tight bear hug.  This was even more surprising than when Anna hugged him. When Michael pulled away, he wiped away the tear that fell from his eye.

This broke Cas’s heart. He had no idea his big brother was capable of this emotion. He really had changed, and Cas was so happy to see that. He grinned at his brother as relieve flooded him. “Hello Michael. It’s good to see you.”

Cas then turned to his father who looked to be much happier that he normally was. He was a short man compared to two of his sons, standing the same as Gabriel, 5ft 8in. He had short styled brown hair that was starting to grey and a short beard of the same color. He smiled at his kids as they welcomed each other back into their lives.

Cas turned to his father, Chuck and said, “Father. I’m surprised to see you here without mother.”

Chuck laughed awkwardly and put his arm around his son as they all started to walk to the front of the church to start the rehearsal.

“We have a lot to talk about.” Chuck squeezed Cas’s shoulder

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The whole rehearsal Cas felt as if he was in the twilight zone. He had been hugged by Michael and his father more in the last 2 hours than he had his entire life, he honestly thought he was dreaming. He was going to need a stiff drink if this night got any weirder. As weird as it sounded, Cas could tell there was something that none of them were telling him yet considering his father had a beard now, and everyone that knew his mother knew how much she despised facial hair and never allowed Chuck to have it.

Once they got everything arranged the way Anna wanted it, they left for the restaurant. Cas could see how much Michael loved Anna by the way he looked at her and doted on her. He was so happy for him, but it also made him miss Dean; it was making him consider what might happen if he opened up to Dean the way he wished he could.

 It was a fancy Italian restaurant that Cas knew well. He was thankful for that; he didn’t feel so out of place. A few minutes after they all sat down, Chuck ordered a bottle of celebratory wine for the table while they waited for their mother to get there. She made an entrance as everyone knew she would; bursting over to the table with her oversized bag, fur coat, and obnoxiously loud voice as she complained about the staff and how they had not waited for her. To Castiel’s surprise everyone at the table ignored her jabs at them. She greeted everyone at the table but only nodded towards Cas. He was grateful for her barely acknowledging him. The evening proceeded how Cas expected it to once his mother arrived. Insults were thrown at everyone except for Anna and that made Cas wonder what she could’ve said to Naomi to get her to be less rude to her. They were on dessert by the time Naomi said her first sentence to him.

“Castiel. How nice of you to finally join your family during a celebration. How long has it been since you abandoned your family for no reason?” she hissed, laughing an obnoxious laugh, eyeing him as if daring him to disrespect her.

Cas took a deep breath and proceeded to try to ignore her, pushing his dessert around his plate. But she continued when he did not respond to her first attempt. It seemed that she didn’t care if she ruined her eldest son’s rehearsal dinner.

“I mean it’s been almost a decade... You look horrible, with that awful beard and what kind of clothes are you even wearing. I was so disappointed when I heard that you quit your good job and moved out to the middle of nowhere with those uneducated hillbillies.” She provoked, staring daggers at him as she sipped her fourth glass of wine.

She was trying to start something with him like she used to, but she had no idea how much he had changed since their last fight that ended with Cas cutting them off for good.

Cas found himself laughing, an empty, slightly terrifying laugh as he fiddled with the napkin sitting in front of him. He hadn’t even noticed he was laughing until everyone at the table was looking at him; his mother looked like flames were about to come out of her ears. Everyone looked at him with bated breath, having the memory of what happened last time in their heads. Anna who was sitting to the left of him, met his eyes, put her had on his forearm and nodded; silently giving him to ok to tell his mother off like he had thought about doing for the last 8 years.

“No Naomi, see I wasn’t the one that abandoned my family.” He fumed in a voice so calm and steady it even surprised him. he met her eyes, staring at her with defiance as this newfound confidence filled him. His mother looked confused as he called her by her name.

He leaned towards her, resting his elbows in the table, never breaking eye contact. “I wasn’t the one to degrade and punish an 8-year-old for having a good time at camp. I wasn’t the one to threaten to disown me if I didn’t become a lawyer.” His voice stayed calm and level; something that slightly scared him.

“I wasn’t the one to force me to stay in an abusive relationship because you threatened me for telling you that I was gay. I’m not the one who told me that I would never find love and I was to stay in the closet because I was going to embarrass you and you wouldn’t have a child that was gay. That wasn’t me. That was you.” His voice raised only a little towards the end. He took a deep breath and downed the last of the beer he held.

“So, see it wasn’t me that abandoned my family… It was you that forced me out. You that abandoned me.” He finished with a feeling of pride and a sense of freedom flooding through him.

 Cas stood up and was going to excuse himself as his mother finally raged, voice loud and ear piercing, “I was trying to save you from yourself! Save you from the embarrassment of not being accepted! You will never find someone to love you if you continue down this path Castiel!” She spat.

This brought Cas to a halt as he turned back around to face his mother one last time.

“See that’s where you are wrong. I have found love. I have found love in the old friend you ripped me away from many years ago. He loves me and treats me better than anyone ever has.” He slammed a fist down on the table and pointed a finger at her as he continued.

“So, screw you and your sad, pathetic life, because all you have left is yourself. And you weren’t trying to save me, you were just embarrassed to have a gay son. I’ve made peace with my life and my past. I have a man that loves me and great friends. What do you have?” he brought his hand to his chin in a thinking motion then snarled, “Oh wait. You have nothing. I hope your pride keeps you warm at night.”

He turned and walked away, a proud smile playing across his face as he finally told his mother what he really thought. Everyone at the table was smiling and talking about how proud they were of Castiel, Gabriel was in a fit of laughter from the astonished look on his mother’s face as he got up to follow his brother out of the restaurant. Cas grabbed his coat and paid his, Michael and Anna’s bill. He walked out of the restaurant with Gabriel’s arm slung over his shoulder as they started down the busy New York Street.

“I’m so fucking proud of you Cassie! That was amazing!” Gabriel hollered and began to laugh again.

Cas smiled over at his brother and flung his arm around his neck, laughing with him. He felt so alive, and he couldn’t wait to tell Dean what he had done. Cas was free of her hold over him… He was finally free.

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POV: Dean

Dean got back to the ranch after dropping Cas off at the airport and immediately got sucked into the crazy life that is ranch work. He hadn’t watched the weather in the last 2 days and Sam had just informed him of a big storm that would be blowing through in the middle of the night. They would have to move the cows from one pasture to another with more tree shelter. They quickly saddled up the horses and went out to find the cows. It took them majority of the day to get the herd situated. The cows were in rare form and very stubborn; not to mention the broken fence that had to be mended in 2 different places because one of the cows decided to scratch herself on it. They had to have Eileen bring them the wood to fix the fence. The boys were cold and hungry having had no time to stop and eat lunch.

Dean was freezing by the time they got back down to the barn, he had just gotten off his horse when his phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and saw that it was Cas. Worry overtook him as he answered the call.

He’s supposed to be at the rehearsal. He thought.

The call went better than Dean had expected it to. His heart broke for Cas, he wished he could be there for his friend during this encounter with his family. He gave him his best words of wisdom and advise, hoping this would build Cas’s confidence. By the end of the call Cas seemed much calmer and Dean told him to call if he needed anything else.  Dean hung up the phone with the hopes that his pep talk worked, he wouldn’t know till Cas got back unless something went wrong later.

Sam came around the corner as Dean was pocketing his phone, lost in his own head. He had been thinking about Cas all day, probably why they had so much trouble with the cows.

“Hey, everything ok?” Sam asked a little out of breath from the cold.

“What?... Oh, yeah. Everything is fine.” Dean said absentmindedly as he went about unsaddling his horse.

“Was that Cas?”

“Yeah, he just needed a pep talk is all.” Dean pulled the saddle off of Zeppelin and took it to the tack room, trying to avoid his brothers further questioning.

“Trouble with his family already?” Sam asked, following Dean into the tack room.

“No, he had just gotten there and… And he didn’t know if he could do it; face them after so long.” He paused while he turned to walk back over to his horse to put him in his stall. “I told him that he’s a different person than he was years ago and that it was a good thing. Told him not to let them get under his skin and show them what a badass he is.” Dean felt pride for his friend rise up in his chest.

Sam had already put his horse up and was leaning against Zeppelin’s stall when he said. “Wow Dean. That actually sounds like a really good pep talk. Do you think it worked?”

“I sure as hell hope so. He deserves to be free of the hold they seem to have over him. I don’t think he can be as happy as he should be until he’s given them a piece of his mind.”

“Well, I hope it worked for his sake.” Sam agreed, surprised that Dean had shared so much with him. He was planning on talking to him about his relationship with Cas either tonight or tomorrow.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean replied shutting the stall door.

He didn’t know why he just shared as much as he just did with Sam. It wasn’t like him, especially with no alcohol in his system. That reminded him, he could use a stiff drink to warm him up.

“Come on, let’s get to the roadhouse and see what Ellen is cooking tonight.” Dean said hoping the subject would stay changed. He was still sorting through things in his head about Cas and he did not want to talk about them on an empty stomach.

“OK. I’ll go grab a shower and Eileen. We will meet you there.” Sam pulled his jacket up around his neck and walked out into the cold over to his car.

Dean leaned on the stall door for a moment, fiddling with the leather halter in his hands. He was thinking about Cas and how much he already missed him. He needed to get some food and drinks into his system. He checked all 3 horses before heading up to his house. Even though it was very cold outside, he was sweating like a hooker at church. He couldn’t wait to get in the warm shower. He walked inside his house and shrugged off his big coat, hung his scarf and cowboy hat on the rack and kicked off his cowboy boots as Miracle spun circles around his feet. He reached down and ruffled the dog’s fur and threw a treat from the jar that sat in the coat closet. He walked into kitchen to grab some beef jerky for a snack before running upstairs to shower. The hot shower felt nice on his cold skin, relaxing his tired muscles as he let it wash over him. He tried to think of anything but Cas, but he just couldn’t shake his friend from his mind. It wasn’t the sexy kind of thoughts either, it was the concerned that something was going to happen tonight with his family kind of thoughts. he sighed and tried to think about what Ellen might be making for dinner while he scrubbed himself clean.

He got out and got dressed in some dry clothes; came downstairs and fed Miracle dinner, telling him he would be back late. He left the dog door open in case he needed to let himself out while Dean was gone. Miracle was a good dog and never ran off, tending to stay in the house when Dean wasn’t home. He threw on his other winter coat that wasn’t covered in melted snow and walked out towards the Impala. He cranked the engine and turned the heater on full blast. He was glad he fixed the heater over the summer after it went out in the spring. He turned Baby around and headed down the driveway. He flipped the radio on, Led Zeppelin’s All My Love came through the Impala’s speakers. Dean loved Led Zeppelin; they were his favorite band, but he couldn’t take hearing the love ballad now. He reached down into the cassette box on the floor and pulled out the first tape he found. It was Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody blared through the speakers as he sang along with the song.

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Dean arrived at the roadhouse before Sam and Eileen. He parked Baby around back next to Castiel’s truck. Seeing the truck brought a frown to his face as he was reminded, he would not be greeted by Cas’s warm smile and his gravelly voice saying ‘Hello Dean’ when he walks inside. He tried to push the image to the back of his mind as he got out of the Impala and walked in the backdoor. Ellen was there at the sink washing a few dishes.

“Hey Ellen.” Dean said sounding a little more down than he meant too.

He kissed her on the cheek as she said, “Hey honey. Dinners almost ready. Take those plates out to the table for me will ya?”

“Sure. Smells good.” He complimented as he took his coat off and hung it up, then he grabbed the plates and walked into the main bar room. Bobby was behind the bar serving some drinks to a few regular customers and Jo was taking the order of a trucker that came through every now and then. The bar was empty for a Friday night, but it made sense with the storm that was supposed to come through.

“Hey Bobby!” Dean called while walking over to the family table to set the plates down. He turned back around and went behind the bar to get a couple beers for everyone. Since the storm was coming in tonight, he wasn’t planning on staying late and getting drunk, he would probably leave after dinner.

“Hey Dean. Cas get off ok this morning?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, his flight was on time. Hopefully that storm tonight doesn’t affect his flight home on Sunday.” Dean put the beers on a serving tray to take to the table.

“Should be over and done with by then.” Bobby replied. Dean took the drinks to their table as Sam and Eileen came through the front door and Ellen came out with a big tray of lasagna. They all sat down in the booth; Ellen, Sam and Eileen on one side with Dean, Jo and Bobby across from them. It felt strange without Cas there, it was not something Dean ever wanted to get used too. Dean was pinned in the corner; he didn’t know it at the time, but he would soon come to regret sliding in first.

Small talk was made while everyone served themselves some lasagna and bread; eventually the conversation turned to Dean and Sam’s chaotic day on the ranch, but that only lasted halfway through dinner. Eventually, Sam looked up at Dean and asked the one thing he didn’t want to talk about with anyone at this table – Ever…

“So, dean, when are you going to get your head out of your ass and do something about what happened at the club the other night?”

Dean stopped mid chew, bread halfway to his mouth as he looked up at Sam in shock. He saw Eileen reach up and smack him in the back of the head and sign something to him he couldn’t make out. Sam was waving her off and waiting for a response as he raised his eyebrows at his brother.

Dean looked around at the others who all seemed to be confused. Clearly no one else other than Sam and Eileen knew about him making out with Cas. He had figured the whole table had seen them that night but to him it really wasn’t that big a deal. He decided to try to play it off though, he really didn’t want to talk about it with his entire family during dinner.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Samuel.” Dean deflected in a joking tone while taking a sip of his beer.

Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled as Jo said, “Wait… What happened at the club?” She looked between Sam, Eileen, and Dean. Dean just stared down at his plate and started shoveling food in his mouth,

Eileen whispered, “Oh boy.” As Sam prodded, “Care to share Dean?”

Dean sighed and put down his fork and the piece of bread he was holding; his appetite seemed to have vanished. “No, Sam not really.” He snapped.

He was trying to stay calm although he was pissed at his little brother for being such a little shit. He knew why he was doing it though; he knew that without putting it out there on the table, Dean would probably never do anything about it until it was too late. Not that he didn’t want to do something about it, but he had no idea how to initiate the conversation. He also thought that if Cas wanted something with him, he would’ve already said something after what happened between them. He had decided to wait and give Cas as much time as he needed to process what had happened. He would wait and see what came of it.

“Dammit boys! Would one of you care to get your head out of your ass’s long enough to tell us what the hell you’re talking about!” Bobby yelled seeming fed up with the game the brothers were playing.

Dean held back a small chuckle; he hadn’t heard Bobby yell at them like that in a while; he kind of missed it.

“Fine.” Dean stated coldly, downing the last of his beer for some courage. “I pulled Cas out on the Dance floor with me while we were at Donna’s club. I was slightly intoxicated but I…” He paused, smiling at the memory. “I remember everything… We had so much fun, dancing, and then it all happened so fast. I kissed him… And then we made out for a while and I’m sure everyone at the table saw.” He gestured towards Sam and Eileen. Sam had a stunned smile on his face, he had honestly thought Dean wouldn’t tell them the truth. It felt good to get it off his chest though, he hadn’t talked about it with anyone.

“Wow. I really didn’t think either one of you would ever make a move.” Jo commented. Dean gave her a smirk.

“Have you talked to him about it, or has he said anything to you about it since?” Ellen asked, ever the concerned but firm mother.

“No, neither one of us has said anything about it.”

“Well why the hell not?” Bobby barked irritably.

Dean was confused at Bobby’s sudden interest in his relationship with Cas; he looked at Sam in confusion, Sam just shrugged slightly.

“Because I initiated the kiss. I wanted to give him some space to think. He’s been through a lot when it comes to relationships. So, the balls in his court.” Dean shrugged.

“Dean I don’t think he’s going to initiate anything. And not because he doesn’t care about you but because he has been hurt before. I don’t think he’s going to take that risk with your friendship.” Sam said.

“Yeah but…” Dean started but was quickly cut off when Bobby slammed his fist down on the table; calling all attention to him as he pointed at Dean. Dean stared in disbelief. He didn’t know why Bobby was getting so upset.

“Now you listen to me idjit and you listen good…” This caught Dean’s attention as he straightened up in his seat. There was an emotion in Bobby’s voice Dean couldn’t read as he continued, “You need to pull your head out your ass and tell Cas how you feel! I am so sick of watching you two dumbass’s stare longingly into each other’s eyes for ridiculous amounts of time. If you can’t see that that boy loves you something fierce – then you must be dumber than I thought. If you don’t tell him how you feel I’m going to stick my boot so far up your ass. Life’s too short to waist it waiting on the other to make a move; by the time you realize that… It’s too late.” Bobby finished a little red faced.

Dean was staring at his surrogate father in shock. Ellen broke the silence when she teased her husband, “Awww the old grouch does have a heart. I knew I married you for a reason.” She looked at him lovingly.

“Ew.” Jo joked.

Sam and Eileen were stifling laughter, they just weren’t expecting Jo to make that comment. They were all waiting for Dean to respond.

“OK Bobby. You- you make a good point.” Dean ducked his head.  “I’m 30… The last few years have been lonely to say the least.” Dean suddenly found his hand very interesting as he looked down at it. “I finally have Cas back… and I’m not going to let him get away. I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

Bobby reaches around Jo and squeezes Dean’s shoulder and smiles at him. “Good. Now how bout we finish this dinner your mother prepared for us.”

They all continued dinner without further talk about Dean relationship status. They had a few more beers and Dean helped behind the bar for a few hours before heading home to beat the arrival of the snowstorm. The wind was already picking up as he drove. He was glad he had his truck already at the ranch in case he couldn’t drive in the Impala. He pulled up just as light snow started to fall. He went to the barn to check on the horses. He gave extra hay and made sure they had plenty of water and that their blankets were on properly. After he was finished, he went inside his house. He was greeted by a happy dog as he walked inside. He took off his boots and coat and ran upstairs to change into his sweats. He came back down and popped some popcorn and made himself a Hot Toddy to warm himself from the cold winter night air. He plopped on the couch and saw he had a text from Cas.

It simply read:

Cas:

Goodnight, Dean. 😉

The text was from 2 hours ago. He was aware of the 2-hour time difference so even though it was 10pm in Montana, it was midnight in NY. he smiled at the winking face Cas had added at the end of his text. Everything must have gone ok if he had nothing to report. He knew Cas probably wouldn’t see it until morning, but he still sent:

Dean:

Night Cas. 😉

He set his phone down next to him and started flipping through the channels. Miracle jumped up on the couch next to him, eventually he settled on the Christmas movie channel, It’s a Wonderful Life was on. He ate his popcorn and drank his drink; listening to the sound of the fire he started crackle behind the movie playing. Eventually he fell asleep, Miracle’s head in his lap and his thoughts with Cas and the possibilities that lie before them.

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POV: Cas

Cas was laying in his bed; it was midnight, and he was staring up at the ceiling. His mind was racing from everything that had happened that night. After him and Gabriel had left the restaurant, they got a cab and went back to the condo. They had a few drinks, Gabriel toasting Cas finally telling his mother off. He had sent a text to Michael apologizing for ruining the night. Michael had told him that he had not ruined the night, in fact the whole event made them make a decision they had been sitting on for a while; they had decided to un-invite Naomi to the wedding. They had told her that her behavior and treatment of Castiel was unacceptable. This all made Cas feel like his brother actually did care about him and that it wasn’t just a front. He was surprised by how this whole visit was going but he was excited to have both of his brothers by his side. He still had to talk to his father but that was for another day.

He was tapping his fingers together trying to will sleep to come when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. He picked it up and to his surprise; there was a text from Dean. A smile came across his face as he read Dean’s reply. He set the phone down as a calmness washed over him. He flipped on the tv and found the Christmas movie channel, on it was It’s a Wonderful Life. he thought about Dean and how they had been watching Christmas movies together for the last few weeks. He rolled on his side and watched the movie, sleep eventually finding him as his mind was with Dean and what he might have done today.

Chapter Text

All Out of Love

POV: Dean

Cas was straddling Dean’s lap, rutting his ass down against Dean’s aching cock and leaving open mouthed kisses all along his jaw, making his way up to suck on the sensitive skin behind his ear.

“Mmm Cas.” Dean groaned, head falling back against the back of the sofa.

Then for a reason Dean did not understand, Cas suddenly started licking his face like a dog. “Cas what’r you doin?” Cas didn’t answer him, just licked his face again.

“... Cas?” Dean asked confused.

Slowly reality started to come into focus as his confusion and the dream he did not want to wake up from was rudely replaced by Miracle standing on his lap and licking his face to wake him up. Dean started to laugh as he rubbed the dog’s neck.

“OK Miracle. Good boy, I’m up.”

 Miracle jumped off his lap with a bark and ran towards the stairs and the doggy door. Dean slowly stretched and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes; blinking he looked around and massaged the side of his neck. He picked his phone up to check the time and was surprised to see a text from Cas.

Cas:

Good morning, Dean. 😊

It was 7am Dean’s time so it was about 9am in NY, the text was sent only a few minutes ago. Dean smiled and typed a quick reply.

Dean:

Morning Cas. How was the rehearsal last night?

He pocketed his phone and got up to go change his clothes to start the day. He came back downstairs and pulled on his boots and heavy jacket; he had to tend to the horses before he did anything else. Before he walked out the door, he ran over to the coffee pot and turned it on; his cup already under it. It had snowed quite a bit last night, but it didn’t seem like as much as they thought it would be. That was a good thing. He went about his barn chores, filling water, feeding the horses and mucking out the stalls. Once he was finished, he closed the barn door and pulled his phone out of his pocket as he walked back to his house. He had a text from Cas.

Cas:

The rehearsal went well. It was kind of strange and I have much to tell you.
Dinner was another story. I have much to tell you about that as well.
How has everything been?

Dean hoped nothing bad had happened at the dinner, he had a concerned frown on his face as he set his phone down on the shelf in the entry closet to hang his coat up and take off his boots. He picked it back up and typed while he walked into the kitchen.

Dean:

Glad it went well. Can’t wait to hear about everything. It was chaotic yesterday with the cows, but we managed. The storm didn’t drop as many inches of snow so that’s a plus. Nothing to report other than that.

Dean set his phone on the Island as he grabbed a pan from a cabinet to make himself some breakfast. He prepared himself a bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast burrito and made Miracle some eggs as well. After he ate his phone buzzed on the counter next to him while he was doing the dishes.

Cas:

That’s good about the snow. I’m sorry the cows were trouble. A little nervous about tonight. Hope nothing goes wrong. We are getting ready to leave to help Michael. I’ll talk to you later. 😊

‘Man, he loves those smiley faces.’ Dean thought as he chuckled and typed his reply.

Dean:

Try to have a good time. Call if you need anything. Talk later. 😉

Cas:

I will. Thank you.

He enjoyed this conversation with Cas, only he wished he was here with him. He finished cleaning his kitchen and decided to see what Sam and Eileen were doing. He had some errands to run in a little bit and he was going to see if Sam wanted to tag along. Normally Cas would but Cas wasn’t there. He hooked up the small flatbed trailer he had parked on the other side of the barn to his truck and drove up to their house.

Eileen wasn’t there when Dean walked into the house, Sam informed him she was out doing some Christmas shopping and he would gladly go to town with Dean. They loaded up into the truck; Miracle curling up between him and Sam. Miracle always went with Dean to make a feed run. They drove to the feed store and loaded up the bed of the truck with bags of horse feed and cow feed, then they loaded down the flatbed with hay and alfalfa hay. Once tying it down was done they headed back to the ranch. Making the feed run wasn’t difficult, it was the unloading that they both dreaded, especially in the winter.

They were done around 1pm and they were starving. They texted Eileen to see if she wanted to meet them for lunch. They both went to their respectful homes to change out of there dirty work clothes before they got in the Impala to head to the mall in Bozeman where Eileen was doing her shopping. After they ate lunch at the food court, Dean decided he needed to do a little shopping himself. Sam ended up going off with Eileen while Dean went about his own shopping. He only had one person on his list to shop for and that was Castiel.

Finally, he settled on a set of crystal whiskey glasses and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue for his present with the family. He wanted to get him something else though, something that symbolized that he was home and how much he meant to Dean. As he walked through the mall, he passed a jewelry story. Something in the glass case caught his eye; he turned back to investigate the display case that was facing the walkway. In the case sat a black Tungsten ring with a green inlay strip in the middle with a black design that looked to be gears laid over the green. It was beautiful. Dean got the attention of an employee and asked to see it. The lady brought it out and handed it to him. The green reminded him of his own eye color and how one night, when Cas was drunk, he told Dean how much he loved the color of his eyes.

 Dean felt his cheeks start to heat up at the memory; he was staring at the ring and hadn’t noticed the clerk was asking him what size he would need it in. He brought himself out of his daze quickly and politely asked her to repeat the question. She just smiled and asked again. He wasn’t sure what Cas’s ring size was, but he knew it couldn’t be much smaller than his own. They figured out his size and went down one size from that.

The woman informed him that the ring was engravable, but if he didn’t know what to engrave it with yet, he could bring it back and they would still do it for free. He had no idea what to put in it yet so he said he would bring it back. She placed it in a small, black velvet box and put it in a bag, he paid her the 200 dollars and left the store with a huge grin spreading from ear to ear as he walked back out to his car. He had no explanation for why he just bought a wedding ring, all he knew was he saw it and it just felt like the right thing to do. After what Bobby had said the night before, he didn’t plan on wasting anymore time. He knew what he wanted, now it was time to do something about it.

                                           --------------------------------------------------------------

POV: Cas

Cas was awake before his alarm went off with thoughts of missing Dean clouding his mind. He was staring at the ceiling when his alarm finally went off at 6am. Dawn was starting to break out the wall of windows that lined the left side of the room overlooking the city. He decided he was going to get up and go on a run around Central Park, the way he used to do every morning before he would go to work. He got up and got dressed in a pair of long winter running tights, running shorts, a long-sleeved thermal shirt, a running jacket, a pair of gloves and a beanie, along with his running shoes. He walked into the kitchen to set a timer for the coffee pot to start shortly after he would return. From the look of the living room, scattered with more papers; Gabriel had done some more work late into the night. He shook his head and grabbed the spare key from behind the cookie jar that sat on the counter. He turned the front door alarm off and left the house, locking the door behind him. As he got on the elevator, he pulled out his iPod and stuck his headphones in his ears. He turned on his old running playlist while he walked out of the building and across the street.

He found himself thinking of Dean again as he walked into Central Park; he hadn’t listened to this playlist since before he had left, he just couldn’t get into it. He stopped to do some stretching before he started his run and decided to switch to some classic rock. He started his run at a brisk pace to the guitar rift of Back in Black, much like he used too. He had expected to be somewhat out of shape, but the hikes Dean had been taking him on seemed to be keeping him in shape. He was winded a little quicker than he used to be but not to the extent he expected. The longer he ran, the longer he realized how depressed he was when he lived here. The depression was already setting in, even though he had only been here for 24 hours and would be going home the next day. He just had so much damn baggage here. So many memories and not the good kind. As he ran, he pushed himself harder and harder, sucking in deep breaths of the cold winter air. It burned his lungs. At present he welcomed the pain, glad for its company as it reminded him that it was a good thing he left, and he should never come back.

He was aware that he probably should have waited until the sun was fully up to take a run through Central Park, but he was used to NY, and he figured it was too cold to be mugging any runners that early in the morning. He needed to clear his head and going on a run was the best way he knew how to do that in the city. He ran 3.5 miles before walking back to the apartment building.  His run lasted about 30 minutes, he went into the complex gym to do some stretches and grab a Gatorade from the vending machine. By the time he was done it was about 7:45am. He went back upstairs to the apartment. Letting himself in, he saw that the coffee pot had about 10 minutes left. Just enough time for him to get a shower.

He went back into his room and took a hot shower. He hoped that his run wouldn’t make him sick since he pushed himself so hard; but it felt good, it grounded him to the reality that this place was poison. Normally Dean was the one to keep him grounded… But he wasn’t here. He got out and got dressed, hair standing in every direction possible. He went back into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee, making sure to keep some warm for when his brother would wake up. He decided he would make them some breakfast. Cas wasn’t much of a cook, but he could make a few things; and one of those things was breakfast. He wasn’t no Dean Winchester when it came to cooking anything, but it was edible. He made some bacon, eggs and toasted 2 bagels for him and Gabriel. By the time the food was done, Gabriel came shuffling in the kitchen looking like he hadn’t slept all night.

“You look like roadkill.” Cas stated sarcastically while he plated their breakfast and poured his brother a cup of coffee.

“Love you too Cassie.” Gabriel said in a huff, punctuated with a wide yawn.

Cas chuckled at his brother’s bad mood as he set his plate and cup in front of him.

“Thanks, little bro.”

“You’re welcome. Long night last night?”  Cas asked as he picked his phone up. He had not texted Dean yet because he did not want to wake him at 4am. Not that Dean wasn’t sometimes up then but he didn’t want to disturb him that early. He sent him a quick good morning text. Even if he didn’t hear his voice, he needed some communication between them. Some form of grounding to the earth, some form of a reminder that this was no longer his home; something his run could not give him.

“Yeah.” Gabe paused as he took another big bite of his food. “Deadlines I’m behind on that need to be met. You know, stupid bullshit.”

“I remember those days. I’m very glad I don’t have to deal with them anymore.”

Gabriel nodded in agreement as he shoveled food into his mouth. Cas took his plate into his room as his phone vibrated with a message from Dean. He smiled as he sat at the small desk and opened his laptop. He spent his morning texting Dean and looking up plants that could withstand the harsh environment that was Montana. He wanted to take up gardening when spring came.

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A few hours before the wedding started Gabriel and Cas made their way down to the venue to have lunch and get ready with Michael and their father. The wedding party was small, consisting of only the groom, bride, maid of honor and best man. Since Gabriel would be officiating the wedding, it was Cas who was the best man. They sat in the room that was the designated groom’s room to get ready in. They had a light lunch and had a toast to the groom with Michael’s favorite whiskey. They were already dressed and just waiting the extra few minutes before the wedding when a few of Michael’s friends came in to wish him good luck. Gabriel was looking over what they wanted him to say and the vows they would recite so he would be prepared; this left Cas feeling a little awkward as he sat down in the only place left to sit, next to his father.

“Castiel, could we talk for a moment?” His father asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Cas sighed, glancing down at his hands in his lap, then nodded.

“Sure.” He kept his eyes cast down as his father spoke.

“I… I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” Chuck paused, waiting to see what kind of reaction this would bring.

At that Cas look up at his father. Face full of shock. “What?” Was all he could manage to say.

“I’m sorry…. For everything. Your childhood was- well it wasn’t easy and now that I look back, it was abusive, and I was blind to that at the time. I’m sorry for the part I played in it and I’m sorry for never stepping in when your mother would take it too far.” Chuck paused sighing and sounding as if he regretted everything he had ever done in his life. “I guess Gabriel made up for that when he started to step in.”

Cas had no idea what to say to him. All he could do was stare at his father, dumbfounded.

“Dad, I don’t know what to say.” That was the first time in his entire life that he ever called his father the casual name of ‘Dad’. It had always been father and when he lived under his parent’s roof, before he moved out, it was “yes sir and no sir”. A rule his mother made to keep him as she put it, “in line”. Now that Cas thought about it, it wasn’t his father who had ever enforced that rule; in fact, his father had never enforced any rules. It was always Naomi.

Chuck let out a quiet chuckle and smiled at his son. “You know that’s the first time you’ve called me dad and not father.”

Cas’s lip turned up slightly at the corner, a slight smile; a small laugh escaping his lips. “I accept your apology. I think it will still take me a while to get used to you being nice to me though.”

Chuck nodded his head in agreement. “I would expect nothing less. I’m just grateful you forgave me. I honestly did not expect you too after everything I’ve done. My main point I’m trying to make is that me and your mother are getting a divorce. And… I would like to have a relationship with my son again.” Chuck finished, his eyes red, rimmed with tears and full of hope as he waited for Castiel’s response.

Cas is surprised that his parents are getting a divorce, it’s not something he ever thought would happen. But then again, he never thought he would be having a civil conversation with his father, let alone be forgiving him for his childhood.

Cas leaned forward, what he was going to say next and the reaction it received would be the deciding factor on if he would try to mend his relationship with his father.

Cas took a deep breath. “I’m trying to move forward in my life, and if you’re changing and are truly sorry, then I will forgive you. I don’t think I will ever have any type of relationship with mother though, that ship has sailed. I just have one question though. Do you accept me for who I am? Because that is something that will never change.”

“I don’t think you should ever see your mother again. She is toxic and I finally see it. And of course, I accept that your gay. That is something me and your mother argued about constantly. I just always gave into her.” Chuck reached out and squeezed his son’s shoulder reassuringly. “I have no problem with it; in fact, is what you said last night true? Did you really find someone?” chuck asked, a hopeful smile playing across his face.

Cas thought back to what he had said the night before as bright, forest green eyes and the beaming smile that belonged to the best friend he ever had appeared in his mind’s eye. At this, he smiled. “Yeah dad, I think I have.”

“I’m happy for you son. I hope it all goes well, and if I could give you any piece of advice; once you find someone that loves you for you and treats you right, don’t let them go. Don’t waste any time because you only get so much and before you know it, your life is passing you by.” Chuck said with a hint of sadness and regret in his voice.

They both stood up, chuck walked over and gave Cas a hug. Cas didn’t know how to respond so the only thing he did was say his thanks with a smile. They still had a lot to talk about, but this was a good start to rebuilding a very broken father/son relationship.

At that moment they were told the wedding was fixing to start. They all filed out of the room and into the entry right outside the chapel. Gabriel went in and Michael followed. Cas was introduced to the maid of honor right before they walked down the aisle. Once he was standing next to Michael the doors swung open again to reveal Anna and her father. Anna was in a beautiful strapless ball gown with a sweetheart neckline; it was fully satin with a beaded belt that sat high on her waist. Everyone thought she looked gorgeous.

The wedding went off without a hitch and with Gabriel only cracking one joke during the ceremony. It was short and sweet with not nearly as many guests as Castiel thought there was going to be. It was mainly family and close friends with only a few big-name investors for the Novak Law Firm. There were tables scattered around the edges of the room and a small dance floor in the middle. The decorations were very elegant; white and light pink accented by simple greenery. Cas, Gabriel and Chuck all wore boutonnieres with a light pink rose while Michael wore a white rose that matched Anna’s bouquet. They all sat at a long table on the back wall of the reception hall eating the dinner that was catered, there was also an open bar witch Cas had already visited 3 times to refill his wine glass. The fourth time Cas visited the bar he ordered one of the four drinks that Anna and Michael had picked. Each had picked 2, Michael had picked a Four Horseman and Whiskey Sour. Anna had picked a Cosmopolitan and a Mojito.

Now he was sitting with his second Four Horseman, and he was starting to feel it. He wasn’t quite drunk, but he was definitely tipsy. This whole wedding had left him thinking of nothing but Dean and his feelings for him. He was thinking about what Gabriel has told him and now what his father had said. He really felt like he needed to get his head out of his ass, but the thing was, he still wasn’t convinced he should risk their friendship. Plus, he was terrified he would fuck it up. He was sitting between Michael and Gabriel with Anna on Michaels right and Chuck to Gabriel’s left. Gabriel stood and asked Anna to dance with him, Cas figured he should do so as well after they were done.

Michael leaned over and said, “Hey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“What’s that Michael?” Cas asked not bothering to look at his brother as he played with the rim of his glass.

“I want you to move back to NYC.”

The shock that was coursing through Castiel’s body was evident to Michael by the blank look on Castiel’s face, also by the lack of words coming out of Cas’s open mouth. So, Michael continued.

 “I want my future child to know who his uncles are. Since mother is such a shitty person, she will be having nothing to do with our baby. Dad is so different since he has been separated from mother; he can’t wait to be a grandfather. And Gabriel is excited as well.” Michael paused, trying to read Castiel’s expression. “I just want the kid to be around great people and you are one of them. I want my brother to be a part of this family again and my kid to know who his uncle Castiel is.” Michael finished and waited for Cas to reply.

“Michael… I’m very flattered, and I would love nothing more than to be able to be a part of your child’s life and a part of this family again, but…” Cas said after he was able to process what Michael had said.

“But what?” Michael asked quietly.

Cas took a deep breath to try to slow his heart rate. His thoughts immediately went to Dean and the life he had made for himself in Montana. He was so happy, happier than he had ever been.

“I can’t move back.” Cas said gently.

Michael’s face fell a little, though he continued to listen to Cas.

“I have made a life for myself in Montana… I’m for once happy, happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I would love to get to be a part of your new family, but I also can’t leave everything that I love in Montana. This city… it’s not good for me. I’m very glad to be here for the wedding but this city is already trying to pull me back to that dark place I was before I left, and I can’t go back there.” A small smile played across Castiel’s face. “I have found a family and friends that I love in Montana, and for the sake of my own health, I can’t come back.”

A sad smile played across Michael’s face as he took in what Cas had said. “I completely understand Castiel. But I must ask, did you mean what you said last night? Have you really found someone?” He asked with a hint of excitement in his voice.

“I think so Michael. Dean, we have a profound bond. And… I love him. I am happiest when I’m with him. Being away from him now has been, painful. I can’t leave him.” Cas shook his head slightly.

“I’m genuinely happy for you. I have never cared that you were gay, that was all mother and only mother.” Michael clapped a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I would love to spend some holidays and switch coming for visits. I want you to come to Montana after the baby is born. Maybe for next thanksgiving or Christmas.” Cas offered, relieved that his brother still wants to continue repairing the family even if Cas is in another state.

Michael smiled widely at Cas, “We will definitely come for a visit. Anna would love to see Montana.”

Cas was smiling back, opening his mouth to respond when Anna and Gabriel came running back to the table. Cas stood up and asked to dance with her next.

The reception continued until around 11pm, everyone getting drunk and dancing and just having a great time. everyone said their congratulations and goodbyes to the bride and groom as they got into a limo to go to their honeymoon. Cas and Gabriel said goodbye to their father as they left the venue. They grabbed a slice of pizza as they walked home, Cas always got the munchies when drunk. They got back to the condo and decided to hit the hay. Cas went into his room and plopped down on the bed. He had a great time at the wedding, but Dean was never far from his thoughts. he pulled his phone out after he changed clothes and sent Dean a text. It was a little after midnight in NY so he knew Dean would still be awake with the 2-hour time difference.

Cas:

Goodnight, Dean. I will be happy to be back home tomorrow.

Cas got under the blanket’s and flipped the tv on. As he flipped through the channels his phone buzzed.

Dean:

Night Cas. Can’t wait to have you home.

This brought Castiel’s heart to a stop. he couldn’t wait to get home and he was happy to hear that Dean seemed to have missed him.

Cas:

I can’t wait to be home.

He set his alarm on his phone and attempted to get some sleep before his long flight tomorrow.

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POV: Dean

Dean had taken his presents back to his house. He wrapped Cas’s whiskey glasses and whiskey in some bright wrapping paper that he had picked up from the store. After he was done with that, he ran up the stairs and put the ring in the back of his sock drawer. He shook his head at how cliche the hiding spot was but that was the best spot he could think of. He came back downstairs and decided to make himself some dinner before he went to the roadhouse. He made tacos and looked around his empty house while he ate, he wished Cas was there. He went to check on the horses before he left.

He arrived at the roadhouse around 7pm, he walked in the bar to find Bobby behind the counter. He was sad to walk in and not have Cas’s greeting again. Cas once again found his way into Dean’s mind, though he hadn’t really ever left his mind since he flew out to NY. He walked over to the bar and sat down.

“Hey Bobby.” Dean greeted more solemnly than he meant to be.

“What’s got you looking like someone drank all your booze?” Bobby asked as he handed him a cold beer.

“I don’t sound that bad.” Dean retorted after taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, but you look like hell.”

Just missing Cas is all.” Dean admitted, hoping Bobby would leave it at that.

Bobby just shook his head and moved to serve the new customer that sat down at the end of the bar. The roadhouse was pretty packed tonight, there were only a few seats open. Dean was four beers deep and slowly sinking further into his sadness the more he drank and the more he thought about Cas. He missed him but the more he drank, the more he questioned if Cas would really come home. He knew he was being stupid, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Cas’s family would force him to move back. Just when he thought he couldn’t doubt the situation more, the juke box starts playing All Out of Love by Air Supply.

“That’s just fucking perfect.” He mumbled to himself. Right then Sam clapped a hand down on his shoulder, startling him as he sat down next to him, Eileen sat on the other side of Sam.

“Hey!” Sam’s smile slowly turned into a frown as he registered the look of despair on Dean’s face and the amount of beer bottles that sat in front of him. “Who stole your cheeseburger?”

Dean laughed internally at Sam’s bad play on words, but he just rolled his eyes and emptied the beer bottle in his hand.

“Nice try Sammy.” Dean said dryly. He got up and went around the bar to grab a few more beers for him, Sam and Eileen.

“Come on Dean. What’s bothering you?” Eileen asked.

Dean set the beers down and said with a sarcastic smirk, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Fine don’t tell us. But don’t come running to us either when you need help with Cas!” Sam yelled, obviously annoyed.

Dean was taken aback by Sam’s spot-on assumption that this is all about Cas. Not that Sam was wrong, he hit the nail on the head.

Dean downed the whole new beer he had just opened and popped the cap on another before sighing and saying, “Fine. You nailed it. It is about Cas.”

“Did something happen?” Eileen asked concernedly.

“No, nothing happened its just…” Dean paused trying to gather his thoughts in his beer drowned brain. “What if he decides to stay in New York? What if he decides to leave me? I… I can’t handle that. I can’t lose him again.” He said this quietly. Shock played across Deans face at the realization of what he just admitted too. If he was sober, he never would have said it. (Not that ignoring your emotions was a good thing and he knew he shouldn’t.)

Sam and Eileen exchanged worried looks before Sam asked, “Dean what gave you the idea Cas would want to stay in NY? you know he hates it there.”

“I know but… But what if this was part of a ploy his mother planned to get him back?” Dean said exasperated. If he’s going to admit to one thing he might as well go all out. He knows he’s drunk and emotional, but he just doesn’t care.

“It’s not Dean. Cas is so happy here. Plus, he’s kind of in love with you.” Sam reassured; Eileen nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I did something that might be kind of stupid.” Dean wasn’t thinking straight, he would never have told Sam and Eileen this while sober.

“What did you do” Eileen asked.

“I bought Cas a wedding ring.” Dean blurted before he could stop himself. “I saw it in the window, and I… I just couldn’t leave without it.”

“Wow.” Sam and Eileen both said in unison. “That’s not stupid. You love him. And when the time is right you will know.” Eileen said as she signed, her words comforting to Dean.

“Just don’t jump into it too fast. But I’m happy for you Dean. I hope ya’ll can get to a place where proposing is a possibility.” Sam said smiling.

“Thanks guys.” Dean smiled and looked at his watch. It was 10pm. Well, he was too drunk to drive, and he felt exhausted.

He finished his 6^th beer and announced, “It’s been a pleasure spilling my insecurities with you both, but I think I should probably get some sleep.”  He started to walk around the bar and towards the stairs to Cas’s apartment.

“Dean you can’t drive. Where are you going?” Sam asked concernedly.

“Relax Samsquatch I’m going up to Cas’s apartment. Sleep it off on his couch.” He said as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He could almost hear the eye roll Sam sent his way.

“Night Dean!” Sam and Eileen both yelled towards him.

Dean just waved at them as he slowly swayed up the stairs. He unlocked the door and walked inside; it was decorated in everything Cas had left. It looked and felt like Cas to Dean. He was going to sleep on the couch but figured Cas wouldn’t mind if he slept in his bed; it wasn’t like they hadn’t shared a bed before. He pulled his boots off and stripped down to his underwear and his black t-shirt and crawled into bed. he reached down to take his phone out of his pants pocket to see a text from Cas. He spent the next few minutes in a short exchange with him. Cas’s answer calmed his mind, he really couldn’t wait to have his best friend back. he set his phone on the nightstand and pulled the blanket up around him. It smelled of Castiel’s cologne and everything that just smelled like Cas. It was a welcome comfort to his tired mind as he slowly slipped into a restless sleep.

Chapter Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

 POV: Dean

Dean woke with a start from the pounding on the door to Castiel’s apartment. He shot up and wiped the drool from the side of his mouth, he stood up and stumbled to the door calling out as he went, “Alright, alright! I’m coming! Don’t gotta break the fucking door down!”

He flung the door open to find a scowling Ellen on the other side.

“You couldn’t pick up your phone!” she scolded him and stepped inside.

“Good morning to you too Ellen. I fell asleep drunk and didn’t plug my phone in. it must be dead.” Dean said, still trying to wake up.

“Sam’s been trying to call you all morning. One of the cows broke the fence in the back pasture and a couple of them got out into the land behind you. He needs your help.” Ellen said impatiently.

“Son of a bitch! Not again.” Dean said running back into the bedroom to pull on his jeans, boots and flannel. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand, it was not dead, but it was muted somehow. He had 10 missed calls and multiple texts from Sam and Eileen both. It was 8am, later than he normally slept; he could thank the light hangover for that. When he came back into the main room of the apartment, Ellen was nowhere to be seen. Dean checked his pockets for his wallet and keys and ran out the door and down the stairs. He reached the bottom and started to walk towards the front door when he heard Ellen call him form the kitchen. He slid to a stop and turned to see what she needed. She came through the door with a travel coffee cup and a brown paper bag.

“There’s hot coffee and a sausage biscuit. I know you’ll be out there fixing that fence all afternoon.” Ellen said, handing the cup and bag to Dean.

“Thanks Ellen you’re a the best.” He smiled, taking the cup and bag and heading towards the door. He stopped abruptly at the door and turned to say. “Shit. Cas’s flight will be here at noon. I don’t know that I’ll be done fixing the fence by then. Do you think Bobby could go pick Cas up from the airport?”

“Of course. Don’t worry about it. Just let me know by 11 if you will be done or not so I can send the old grouch.”

“I will! Thanks again!” Dean called as he ran out the door.

He slid into the Impala quickly and turned over the engine, Baby roared to life. He sent Sam a text telling him he was on his way. He had a text from Cas from a little while ago telling him he was on his way to the airport. While at a red light he sent Cas a text back telling him about the problem at the ranch and he was going to try his best to be there but if he couldn’t that Bobby would pick him up. his heart ached after he hadn’t received a text back from him; glancing down at the clock on the Impala’s dash Dean realized that Cas was already on the plane and wouldn’t get the message until he had landed in Bozeman. He hoped Cas wouldn’t be mad at him.

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POV: Cas

Cas’ alarm went off around 6am but he was already awake, staring out the big windows watching the snow come down in soft flurries. Cas reaches over and turned his alarm off. He sits up and stretches. He’s exhausted, he hadn’t slept but for about an hour last night. He had a bad hangover and all he wanted to do was get on that plane and see his best friend. He didn’t have too much time before he would need to head to the airport. He got up and took a shower, hoping the hot steam would alleviate his pounding head. It didn’t do much to take away the headache, although his head felt clearer than it had earlier this morning. He got dressed in an AC/DC shirt he had accidentally taken from Dean a few months ago, a pair of dark jeans, he threw a black and grey flannel over that along with his favorite pair of dark brown boots. He brushed his teeth and packed up all his stuff. He had time for some coffee and a quick breakfast before they would need to leave.

He walked down the hall and into the kitchen to find Gabriel already pouring the coffee and handing him a breakfast bagel from his favorite bagel shop down the street.

“Thank you, Gabriel.” Cas said as he sat down at the breakfast bar.

“No problem.” Gabriel took in the dark circles under Castiel’s eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping a lot since you’ve been here, have you?”

Cas took a sip of the hot coffee and sighed heavily. “No, I haven’t. It’s been…. Difficult, being here again.”

“You mean it’s been difficult being without Dean.” Gabriel corrected with a sly grin as he ate his bagel.

Cas rolled his eyes and ignored his brother. “Whatever you say Gabe.”

He put the last piece of his bagel in his mouth and tried to change the subject. he looked down at his watch, it had stopped yet again.

I really need to invest in a new watch. Cas told himself again as he grabbed his phone to check the time.

“We need to leave in a few minutes.”

“Yeah, no problem. Just let me get my shoes on.” Gabriel said draining his coffee cup and walking towards the hall closet.  

Cas drank the last of his coffee and finished his bagel before getting up to go into his room to grab his duffle bag and his computer bag. He came back out and pulled on his coat and followed Gabriel out the door. He sent Dean a message while they were in the elevator letting him know he was on his way to the airport. They went down into the garage in silence; an odd thing to experience for Cas since Gabriel is never silent for very long. Once they were in the car and pulling out of the garage onto the busy NY streets, Cas was the one to break the silence.

“Ok Gabriel, what’s wrong?”

“Not a damn thing Cassie.” Gabriel said sarcastically.

Cas found himself rolling his eyes yet again at his brothers’ ridiculousness. “You haven’t said a word since we were eating breakfast, it must be hard for you to be this silent for this long. Having said that, there must be something wrong.”

“I’m fine I just hope that what you told Dad and Michael is true. You need to grow a pair and tell Dean how you feel!” Gabriel barked.

“I can’t.” Cas said quietly, refusing to look over at his brother. He stares out the window.

“Why? Why not Cas!” Gabriel yelled, looking at his brother as they sat at a red light. Castiel bit his bottom lip out of the nervous habit he has and stayed silent, hoping that would make Gabriel drop the subject. it did not, it only made Gabriel angrier.

“Oh, so now you’re going to ignore me!?” He said pointedly.

 Cas continued to be silent as he stared out the window, fists balled up in his lap.

“Cas you can’t fucking ignore this forever! Your being ridiculous! I just don’t get it; you obviously have feelings for him. You even confirmed it to everyone while you were here! Jus….” Gabriel was cut off by Castiel’s loud, shaky voice as he yelled back at his brother, slamming his fist against the center console of the car as he said, “I Can’t Gabriel! It’s not that fucking simple!”

“How is it not that simple!? I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s like electricity between you two! Just man up and say something!” Gabriel fumed, ready to go toe to toe with his little brother. He was upset that to him, Cas was just being stupid and stubborn.

This time Castiel did not yell, instead tears flowed down his face against his will. He had tried, he really had tried to convince himself last night that he could tell Dean how he felt, but his anxiety and self-deprecation got the better of him. He spoke once more, voice trembling and full of emotion. “I can’t do it. I can’t put our- our friendship at stake. I can’t get into another relationship.”

Hearing this broke Gabriel’s heart. Cas never really talked about the relationship he was in for several years because of their mother. The only thing Gabe ever knew was that he never wanted to be in it, that the girl abused him and that he had never been in another one since.

“Look I know your relationship with Hannah was abusive…” Gabriel paused when the mention of Castiel’s ex made him flinch; he took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t know what happened, and if you never want to visit that again then that’s fine. But this is Dean we are talking about. He would never do anything to hurt you and you know that.”

“It’s… It’s not that.” He said looking down and fidgeting with is hands in his lap.

“Then what is it because frankly I’m confused as hell.”

“I know Dean has feelings for me. I’ve been told by his brother himself… It’s not him, it’s me.” Cas finally looked up at his brother who was looking back and forth between the road and Castiel, a confused look on his face. “The thi – things Hanna did to me… Said to me… I’m so fucked up from it Gabriel. I would do something to mess it up if we ever got into a relationship. I know I would screw something up and I’m too scared to lose him when he inevitably realizes how fucked up I am.”

They were getting close to the airport, so Gabriel knew he had to make this as quick as possible while Cas was still trapped in the car with him.

“Cas I honestly don’t think there is anything you could do that would make Dean leave you. I mean I’ve seen it with my own eyes. You two make googly eyes at each other all the damn time. And what about that kiss at the club huh?”

 Cas blushed a deep red at the mention of the night that replays through his mind… Constantly… On a loop. “He was drunk, and it was stupid of me.”

“You know damn well he wasn’t as drunk as he let on, and you can’t honestly tell me that you regret it.”

“No, no I don’t regret it. It was… Amazing. But he’s my best friend. I can’t lose my best friend.” Cas sniffled, wiping the residual tears from his face as he tried to pull himself together.

“You know your best friend can also be your soul mate too, right?” Gabriel said as he pulled them into the passenger drop off terminal. This seemed to have struck a chord in Castiel’s heart, his face brightened a little. “It’s happened before Cassie. I’ve seen it.”

“I know, but I don’t know that I can do it.”

“I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t ready for…. But it’s been a long time Cas. I think you are ready, your just too scared to take the chance. I think if you quit listening to your mind and started listening to your heart, you would find that you are just being stupid. Just think about it ok.”

“OK, I will think about it. You do make a good point. It’s been a very long time since Hanna.”

“I know I do. Now go get on that plane and go see your man.” Gabe smacked Cas on the shoulder.

“He’s not my man yet.” Cas deflected as he grabbed his bags and got out of the car. Gabe came around to wrap his little brother in the biggest hug. Cas took comfort in his brother, hugging tightly back.

“Go get’em tiger.” Gabe encouraged as he pulled back with a sarcastic grin.

Cas rolled his eyes, “Goodbye Gabriel.”

Gabe waved at him as he walked through the door. Cas made it through security and down to his gate in no time; the whole way he was distracted by thoughts of Dean. He kept checking his phone, wondering why he hadn’t received a text back from him. He checked his phone once more after he was sitting in his seat on the plane for a message from Dean, but there wasn’t one. He was not mad; he was getting increasingly worried. But he rationalized that maybe he was just sleeping or didn’t have service out in the back pasture. He sighed and turned his phone on airplane mode before pulling out his iPod and putting in his headphones. This was going to be a long flight.

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POV: Dean

Dean arrived at the ranch to find Eileen waiting for him in front of the barn with his horse already tacked up and ready to go. He parks Baby and pulls on his working gloves as he climbs out. He checks his phone one more time before making sure it’s turned up, then shoves it in his pocket as he walks towards Eileen.

“Hey, thanks for getting Zeppelin saddled up.” Dean smiled as he took the reins and went about making sure his cinch was tight enough.

“No problem. Sam’s waiting by the fence trying to keep more of the cows from escaping.” Eileen informed him.

“Ok, I’ll try to get there fast, the cows don’t seem to respect him.” Dean said and signed with a laugh.

Eileen laughed in agreement. “I know. Let me know if you need anything or any help.”

“We will. Thanks again.” Dean said as mounted up and turned around, trotting off in the direction of the back pasture. He waved at Eileen before he asked Zeppelin for more speed, breaking out into a gallop through the snow. He followed Sam’s horses’ tracks all the way out.  

A short while later he spotted the herd and Sam. Sam greeted him as he rode up, “Hey jackass! I’ve been trying to call you all morning.”

“Yeah, I know, sorry. My phone got muted somehow and I overslept.” Dean said apologetically, walking Zeppelin up to stand next to Sam.

“Well anyways, 4 cows got out. They are about 100 yards that way.” Sam pointed towards the cows to Dean’s right.

Dean looked to see if he could tell which cows they were. Sure enough, it was one of the biggest younger ones that Dean lovingly referred to as Bertha, along with three younger ones.

“Goddamn it Bertha.” Dean cursed under his breath and shook his head.

He had raised this cow from birth, and she had been a pain in his ass all her life. she was 2 now and she had broken into the feed room and hay barn more times than he could count; and was always the one to go through the fence when things got to quiet. He hated her but he loved her. She was his favorite cow, and he couldn’t wait to see the babies she produced when he started to breed her next season.

Sam barked out a laugh and said, “I spent 5 minutes yelling at her. She stared at me the whole time then went back to nosing through the snow.”

“Of course, she did… OK. I’ll go get them.” He untied his rope from the saddle and held it in his hand; he wasn’t planning on roping anyone if they all minded their manners. He rode towards them while Sam mounted his horse and prepared to block the way so they couldn’t go anywhere but through the hole in the fence. Thankfully, they all ran through the fence just fine at the whistle and yells of Dean behind them.

They go about trying to fix the fence while a couple of the more curious or affectionate cows try to come nose around to see what they are doing. Dean keeps checking his phone and looking at the time, finally it is almost 11 and they are nowhere near done. Dean knows he’s going to have to send Bobby to pick Cas up and he feels shitty for it. He calls Ellen and lets her know, then shoots Cas another text confirming that it will be Bobby who picks him up and that he is very sorry. He hopes Cas won’t be mad when he sees him tonight, though he knows that thought is stupid. Cas knows Dean’s job and knows that the farm life is unpredictable. Eileen rides out and brings them a couple sandwiches and some hot coffee to warm them both up.

A little past 12 is when Dean’s phone buzzes with the sound of an incoming text. He stops what he is doing and frantically pulls the phone out of his pocket. It’s a message from Cas; it says that he just landed, and he completely understands that the situation was out of Deans control, and he will see him tonight at the roadhouse for dinner. Dean smiles down at his phone and types a quick reply then gets back to work on the fence with new urgency.

When they are finally done, Dean feels exhausted. They move the cows up to the pasture that is closer to Dean’s house. After they are done with that, he goes about getting the horses settled back into their stalls with water and hay with Sam’s help. Even though it is snowing and freezing outside, Dean still feels sweaty and disgusting. He tells Sam he will see him later that night and heads inside his house to get warm and clean. Dean is greeted like usual by a bouncing Miracle who waits expectantly for head scratches. Dean greets him with a laugh and scratches behind his ears before heading upstairs to take a shower.

After he is clean, he goes about starting to make the present for Castiel that is special and personal, a mixtape. 2 to be exact, one with his top Led Zeppelin songs and another full of songs that remind him of Castiel. After doing this for a few hours he looks at his watch and sees that it’s time for him to head to the roadhouse.

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POV: Cas

The plane ride was long and boring yet again. As soon as the plane lands Cas turns his phone back on and see’s 2 texts from Dean. This eases his mind some, especially when he reads them. He is sad that Dean won’t be able to pick him up, though he fully understands the circumstances. He is also almost 100% sure he knows what cow broke the fence and this makes him laugh. He gets his bag and exits the plane. A few minutes into his walk towards the passenger pick up area, he receives a call from Bobby to let him know where he is. He finds Bobby with no problem and greets him happily. They talk about mundane things that happened while Cas was gone, and Bobby asks how the wedding was. Cas answers truthfully but does not go into detail.

They arrive at the roadhouse just in time for Ellen to have lunch ready for him. He had missed her home cooking and he told her as much while he ate the chicken pot pie she had made for lunch. Cas was tired so he went up to his apartment to take a nap before Dean got there. When he went up the stairs and went to put the key in, he realized that the door was already unlocked. He shrugged it off and figured either Dean or Ellen needed something out of the closet that held a few things for the bar. When he went into his room, he saw that his bed was completely askew. At first, he was confused, he had made the bed before he left. Then he was laughing out loud when he laid down and the strong scent of Dean’s cologne assaulted his nose. He turned onto his stomach and buried his nose into his pillow, breathing in deeply. The scent calmed him, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

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POV: Switch

Dean arrived at the bar ready and excited to see Cas. He practically ran through the front door. Ellen was behind the bar, Bobby somewhere in the kitchen, Jo was serving some locals and Sam and Eileen were already sitting in the family booth talking to each other and drinking some beer. He stood in the doorway, eyes scanning the room for Cas, but he was nowhere to be seen.  He frowned a little as he hung his Carhart up and walked over to the bar to talk to Ellen.

“Before you even ask, he’s tired and went up to his apartment to take a nap.” Ellen explained to him before he could even ask.

“Oh, ok. I’m sure he’s exhausted.” Dean’s face fell slightly as he took the beer Ellen handed him.

“Don’t worry, he said he would be down for dinner.” She explained while trying to hide a knowing smirk.

Dean nodded and gave her a weak smile as he walked over to the booth where Sam and Eileen were sitting. He was a little disappointed that he would have to wait to see Cas, but he would just have to distract himself until Cas woke up. He sat down and started up conversation with them while he waited for Cas.

Cas woke with a start when his phone buzzed in his hand under his head. He blinked rapidly and tried to regain his thoughts. he looked at the time on the phone and…

“Fuck.” He groaned and ran a hand down his face.

It was past the time he should have woken up. dinner was only in 5 minutes and Dean was most likely already here waiting for him. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went into his bathroom to brush his teeth. Once he was done, he felt more awake and realized he was quite hungry. He straightened his flannel and went to walk down the stairs.

He descended the stairs and found Dean’s eyes immediately. Dean was sitting with Sam and Eileen, and they had been laughing about something. They locked eyes as Dean stood up. Cas moved towards the table with energy in his steps. Dean met him in the middle, urgency carried his feet towards him. They stopped with only about a foot between them and just stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity. They were unaware of the audience they had acquired; people in booths were looking as well as their whole family. All holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen next. Slowly a wide smile crept onto Dean’s face and Cas couldn’t help but mimic him. A laugh burst forth from Dean’s chest as he reached forward and closed the gap between them; pulling Cas in for the tightest bear hug Cas had ever felt. He wrapped his arms around Dean and reveled in the feeling of holding him.

When they pulled back Dean raked his thumb across Cas’s cheek, making him flush. “It’s good to have you back Cas.” Dean beamed. “Welcome home buddy.”

All Cas could do was smile broadly and say, “I’m glad to be home.”

Everyone else came in to greet Cas and welcome him home, all hugging him and telling him how much they missed him. It was nice and Cas was so glad that his found family had missed him, but all he found himself caring about was being back in the close vicinity of Dean and never wanting to leave it again. This was going to be hard.

Everyone was interested in hearing about the wedding and how NY was, including Dean. Cas told them a lot but left out the parts that were only for Dean’s ears or too private to bring up in such a public setting. They had a great time and they seemed to have fallen easily back into the same thing they were doing before Cas left. Dean was just as affectionate as he ever was if not more; sitting next to Cas in the booth, leaning in close him to speak to him, and throwing his arm around his shoulders after they were done with dinner. The atmosphere around them seemed to have shifted, though not in a bad way. After they ate and talked and drank for a good long while, Cas started to yawn. Dean noticed immediately and suggested that they go up to the apartment and pick up their movie nights where they left off.

So that’s exactly what they did. They went upstairs with a bowl of popcorn and a few more beers and settled on the couch under a blanket next to each other like they did before Cas left. Soon after the movie started, they had fallen asleep. Cas was sitting up at the end of the couch with Dean sprawled out across the couch, his head in Cas’s lap. Dean had fallen asleep first, Cas carding his fingers through Dean’s hair after he heard him start to snore. Cas fell asleep not long after Dean did, relaxed and happy to be home.

                                                   ------------------------------------------------------

 The next 4 days leading up to Christmas went by quickly; Cas started working behind the bar the day after he got back and he had gone shopping to find presents for everyone, including Dean. He got him a bottle of his favorite whiskey that he noticed was getting low the last time he was at his house. Dean had been busy with the cows and dealing with trying find an Angus Hereford bull to either buy or lease for breeding season. They spent every night at the roadhouse, eating dinner and drinking with the family even while Cas was on his shifts. They would go up to Cas’s apartment every night and watch a Christmas movie just like they did before Cas had gone to NY. They had planned on Cas going over to Dean’s house after dinner with the family at the roadhouse on Christmas Eve. They are going to pop some popcorn, drink some sort of hot whiskey drink because its fucking cold outside, and watch classic Christmas movies while they sit on the couch with a fire crackling in the background.

On the second night after Cas’s return, while he and Dean were sitting on the couch watching a movie, he told Dean all about what happened with his mother and how his brother and father seemed to really be trying to make an effort. What he failed to mention was that he practically told his father and Michael that he was in love with Dean. Which wasn’t a lie, but he wasn’t ready to tell that to Dean’s face. He was still considering what Gabriel said, although every time he thought about it, he started to have a panic attack.  

                                          -------------------------------------------------------------------

Now it was Christmas Eve and the whole family was sitting at the roadhouse eating a great dinner that Dean had prepared. He made homemade beef stew as requested by Castiel. It was one of his favorite things Dean cooked. They were all talking and laughing while they ate and drank. Jokes were exchanged and stories of Christmas’s through the years were told. Embarrassing stories about Dean and Sam also made the rounds like usual. On one side sat, Sam, Eileen, and Jo, while on the other sat Dean, Cas, Ellen and Bobby. Sam was on the outside of the booth, directly across from Dean; Sam and Eileen were whispering between themselves, and Sam was sending Dean suspicious looks while they were having a couple beers after dinner. Cas noticed these odd looks but kept his mouth shut about it. He couldn’t figure out what Sam was trying to tell Dean, but his facial expressions were beginning to make Cas choke back small laughs.

As the night wore on, the few locals started to trickle out, leaving it just the family. Dean, after being sick and tired of getting looks from Sam and Eileen, decided it was time for him to grow a pair and pull Cas aside to tell him what he feels. He had planned on telling Cas how he felt tonight at the ranch, but he hadn’t figured out the best way to do it. Everyone was up and mingling amongst each other; Ellen, Jo, and Eileen were all talking in the booth, Sam and Bobby were at the bar talking about something legal with the salvage yard, and Dean was waiting for Cas to come back from the bathroom.

When he sees Cas exit the bathroom, Dean straightens himself up and takes a couple deep breaths, heart pounding in his chest. He hopes this would go well, but he is also aware that Cas hasn’t been in a relationship in 10 years, and he knows the very good reason for that. His hands were shaking but he tried to shove his nerves away as he threw on his best charming smile and walked over to Cas, 2 fresh beers in hand.

“Hey Cas.” Dean said handing Cas one of the beers. Cas took it with a grin and a thank you.

“Can I talk to you pr – privately for a minute?” Dean stumbled over his words. Smooth start dumbass. He mentally smacked himself.

This question was met by a confused look from Cas. He heard Dean stumble over his words, and it made him a little nervous about the conversation to come, though he agreed to listen.

“Of course, Dean.”

Dean let out a shaky breath and smiled as he led Cas into the kitchen. It wasn’t the ideal spot for this, but he was about to burst with affection for his best friend and he needed it out in the open.

Once they were in the confines of the kitchen, Dean set his beer on the counter, turning to look at Cas. Cas wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but his heart was starting to pick up speed from the mixed look of affection, excitement and nerves playing across Dean’s face.

“Cas, I have something I need to say.” Dean started, moving a little closer to Cas.

“OK, I’m listening.” Cas swallowed hard.

Dean took another deep breath then continued. “Cas, when I found out you were the best friend I lost at camp all those years ago… I can’t tell you the amount of joy it gave me. You were the same person that became my best friend, the same person that I spent every minute with while I was there….” Dean took another deep breath, locked eyes with Cas and refused to look away. This was it. “The same person that – that I fell for when I was 8 years old. Obviously, I had no idea what it was then, but looking back now I know what that feeling was.” Dean was smiling, his eyes were stinging a little, but he refused to cry, not yet.

Cas was stunned; standing there frozen to the spot he stood in. His brain had come to a complete halt when Dean said he fell for him. This wasn’t quite the direction he thought this conversation was going in.

“Dean I….”  

“Please let me finish.” Dean interrupted gently, almost a whispered plea. Cas nodded, though he was now trembling and felt like he wanted to run but couldn’t seem to make his legs move.

“I thought I lost you forever when you just disappeared that day. I didn’t think I would see you again, but here you are. And I need you to know that….” Dean felt like he might suffocate, he took another deep breath before saying the three words he’s been wanting to say since the minute he figured out who Cas was.

“Cas, I love you.” Dean’s smile radiated love as he looked at Cas and took another step towards him, now a mere two feet away. “And I would like to try to see where this thing with us would go because there is definitely something there for me on your end, I know it.” Dean finished quickly and hopefully.

Cas’s mind didn’t know what direction to go, he didn’t know whether to run or to jump in Deans arms and never let him go. But then his brain started to function like it always did… The way he hated for it to function. He started to doubt everything, and he started to get scared. The memories of the blame his ex-girlfriend put on him and then the therapist that told him none of what she did to him was his fault came rushing back to him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Dean’s beautiful face, he knew everything he should say; everything he really wanted to say but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let Dean get into something he thought he would come to regret and in Castiel’s mind, Dean being with him was something that Dean would eventually regret. So, he did the only thing he could think to do to protect his best friend.

Lie and run.

Dean waited patiently but expectantly.

“Dean I can’t let you do this.” Cas started quietly, looking down, unwilling to watch the disappointment mar Dean’s beautiful face.

“Why not?” Dean’s face had immediately fallen as he quickly inquired.

Cas forced himself to meet Dean’s eyes. He hated the disappointment and sadness he saw there, and he felt tears well up in his own eyes. He panicked.

“I can’t risk our friendship. And I can’t get into another relationship. I’m poison Dean, and… And I’m not going to let you get into something you will regret once you figure out how fucked up I am from my past. I can’t lose you permanently – not again.” His chest felt tight, it was becoming hard to breath. Dean’s mouth hung agape in shock.

“I’m scared Dean. I’m scared of fucking something up and I can’t stand the thought of hurting you. I couldn’t handle that. I’m sorry.” Cas choked on the last word, eyes stinging and his lip beginning to quiver.

He turned and bolted to the door into the main bar room. He had had his keys, phone and wallet already in his pocket from a gas station run he made earlier that day. He ran past everyone, not even stopping to grab his coat. He ran out the front door and into the freezing night air as he heard everyone calling after him, including Dean. He willed his legs to continue carrying him to his truck. He felt numb as ran through the snow and got into his truck as quickly as possible, peeling out of the parking lot as his tires slipped on the melted snow and ice on the street. He didn’t know where he was going, he just knew he needed to get away before he told Dean how he really felt and ruined everything.

The longer he drove the more his rational brain began to kick it. The more he cried. The more he thought that what he had just done, was a mistake.

                                                    ------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean had run after Cas when the shock of Castiel’s words wore off and he was able to move his limbs. He ran through the door Cas had gone through, yelling after him but he was too late. Cas was already through the front door. Dean ran through the front door just in time to see him peeling out of the parking lot; tires sliding and scaring the shit out of him. He did not want to make things worse by following him, Cas was to upset to be driving anyways. Instead, he went back into the bar and sat down at the counter. Everyone came over to ask questions about what the hell had just happened, but Dean didn’t have any answers to give them. He himself had no idea what happened. He had no idea Cas would react like that. He thought it would be more because they were two men, not that he thought so low of himself. Dean was utterly confused. But he would forgive Cas because he couldn’t lose him again. He would be whatever Cas needed in order to keep his friendship, regardless of his own feelings.

Eileen seemed to be the only one who truly understood, she came around the counter and poured him out a shot of whiskey, giving him a sad smile as she rubbed his hand that rested on the counter. He smiled back and signed his thanks as he took the shot. He waited there for almost an hour, trying to call and text Cas, hoping he would pick up.

He did not.

Finally, he gave up waiting for Cas to come back. everyone was still talking and trying to have a good time while Ellen stood at the bar with him; a comfort he didn’t realize he needed at that moment. He hugged Ellen goodbye and waved to everyone else while he grabbed his coat. Sam gave him a sad but warm smile and told him to keep his chin up, Cas may come around. Dean wasn’t sure. Silent tears fell the whole drive back home. He would wait for Cas, as long as it took him. He would wait. He wanted to tell him as much, but Cas got to scared. Dean just hoped he was ok. He got home to an empty driveway and felt a pang of sadness; he had hoped Cas would be there waiting for him. Instead, he hurried inside at the sound of rolling thunder and the sight of lightning.

He stopped to look at the sky and frowned. It was Christmas Eve, and he was supposed to be spending it with Cas. Them cuddled up on the couch watching a movie and eating popcorn like they had planned; the curtains open on the floor to ceiling windows that lined the walls so that they could watch the storm with a fire crackling in the background. He opens the front door to find Miracle waiting for him. He smiled a sad smile and squatted down to pet and hug the pup. He buried his face into the soft fur, letting the dog bring him comfort. He dragged himself up his stairs to his room to change into an old and tattered Led Zeppelin t-shirt and his hot dog sweatpants. He came back downstairs to find Miracle laying in front of the front door; something he never did.

“He’s not coming tonight buddy… honestly, I don’t know if he’ll ever be back. I can’t think about that cause I don’t think I could handle losing someone else that I love. Not again.” He said leaning against the counter and looking at the dog. The first part to Miracle, the second a mumble more to himself.

He pulled a beer out of the fridge and plopped onto the couch, computer on his lap; he turned on the TV. A few minutes into the newest episode of the office, he heard a quiet knock on his door. It was 11 o’clock.

Must be Sammy. He thought. Thinking something was wrong with the cows or a horse, he got up and flung the front door open without a second thought. There on his front porch, illuminated by the light flowing out the door; was a soaking wet Castiel.

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While driving with no destination in mind is when Cas realized that it wasn’t just another relationship, this was Dean. The man he had been in love with since he was 8 years old, the man who welcomed him back with open arms, the man who’s been by his side no matter what for the past 3 months. The tears started flowing freely then as he drove down the dark and winding roads; a smile started to spread across his face. He had to see Dean. He had to apologize and pray to God he would forgive him for being such a damn idiot.

By this time, he had been driving for 30 minutes. It was Christmas eve and not much was open but a lone gas station. He went in to grab a bottle of water to try to bring his blood pressure down and calm his nerves. He got back in the truck and drove straight to the ranch.

That is where we find him now, pacing up and down in front of the house in the pouring sleet and snow that started about halfway there.

When he pulled into the ranch and saw the Impala right in front of Dean’s house, he parked his truck behind the barn where it could not be seen in case he got cold feet and decided to bail. He paced the stretch of driveway in front of the house for almost an hour. He was trying to compose his thoughts and figure out what he was going to say to Dean. After all, he was the one that told Dean he was too afraid, that he couldn’t do another relationship because he was afraid of fucking it up and couldn’t stand to hurt Dean in any way. What he didn’t realize until about 20 minutes ago, was that he had hurt Dean by saying he couldn’t be with him, and he scared him by how abruptly he left. Before Dean could say anything in response, Cas had run out of the bar and hopped in his truck, tearing out of the parking lot.

He had to make it right.

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Cas was soaked to the bone and freezing by the time he got up the courage to even set foot on the porch. Once there, he took a couple deep breaths and told himself he could do this. Dean deserved to be happy, and Cas was finally accepting the fact that he deserved the same. Slowly he reached out and knocked on the door.

No going back now. He thought.

A few seconds later Dean threw the door open, when he met Cas’s eyes, they were full of shock and confusion. His mouth hung open as he stepped onto the porch leaving the door open behind him.

“Cas… Cas what the fuck! Why… Why are you soaking wet and what are you doing here? Please come in.” Dean rushed, slightly panicked at the sight in front of him. It was a cold night, much too cold to be soaking wet in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans; he was afraid Cas would catch pneumonia.

“Dean please…” Cas said quietly, holding up a hand to stop his friend’s panic. “Let me say what I came here to say.”

“Yeah sure, Cas.” Dean agreed, trying to hide his worry. He swallowed hard and prepared to listen to what his best friend had to say.  

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I freaked out. I’m sorry I didn’t wait for an answer. I’m sorry I overreacted. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.” Cas started, at first looking down then meeting Dean’s eyes with a renewed happiness that filled his chest.

“Y – Ya know ever since I met you, even way back when we were kids; you changed me….” Cas admitted, a broken sob left his throat, but a huge smile lit his face.

 Dean wasn’t sure where this was going but listened intently, shivering lightly in the cold winter wind.

Cas continued, “I don’t even think I would be where I am without you. Hell… I don’t even know if I would be alive….”

 This made Dean flinch, he couldn’t stand the thought of a world without Cas in it. But he was here now so Dean tried to shove it to the far corner of his mind while he continued to listen.

Cas stared into Deans eyes, feeling himself gain more confidence the longer he stared. “If I didn’t have those memories to go back to throughout my childhood, I don’t know where I would be. Anytime I was scared, or mad, or upset, or being abused in any way…. I thought of you.” He took a step forward, leaving only a few feet between them.

“I thought of how you made a room brighter just by walking into it… How being in your presence was exhilarating and the best summer of my life.” Tears were brimming in both men’s eyes as they stood staring at each other, a small smile played across Cas’s face. “I thought of you every single day, even up until the day we met again in the bar 22 years later… I never forgot you. You changed me and you got me through all the bad, and your memory was there through all the good; wishing I could share it with you.” Cas paused, swallowing down a choked sob. 

“And when I figured out that the man I was so mesmerized by in the bar was the same man I knew as a child… I was terrified and excited. I couldn’t believe that fate would be so good to me. When we started spending time together, I cherished every moment. Holding on to every look and touch. And when you told me knew who I was over Thanksgiving…. I was so scared you were going to reject me. But instead, you hugged me and told me how much you missed me. I couldn’t believe it was happening. And now tonight, you admitted how you felt about me. Knowing you felt the same as I did…” He paused, sniffling. “It scared the shit out of me. I don’t want to fuck up what we have in any way. I’ve only been in one relationship Dean, and it was fucking horrible. You are a good man, and you deserve better… But I’m hoping you’ll look past my flaws…” Cas took a small step forward, closing the distance between them. “And accept my apology, because I too… Have been in love with you since we were kids.” Cas was crying now, voice shaking, tears streaming down his face.

Dean took a step closer and placed a hand on his shoulder, a broad and affectionate smile playing across his face. “Cas, I forgive you even though there is nothing to forgive… You had a horrible childhood and horrible relationship experience. I don’t expect this to be easy… I know it might be hard and we will have to jump some hurdles, but we are more than capable of doing that. I haven’t been the same since that summer. I also have thought of you daily since then, hoping you were ok. And… And if you would’ve waited for me to reply to you being scared, you would’ve heard that I don’t care… Cas I will wait for you, as long as it takes… I would do anything for you, I would wait a lifetime – all for you… Because you are it for me… there is no one else…” Dean dropped his hand and shrugged his shoulders. “Never has been and there never will be… it’s always been you.”

Dean did not realize he was slowly inching forward until Cas was smiling and closing the last few inches between them. Cas reached up and grabbed both sides of his face, pulling Dean down into a deep kiss charged with emotion.

Chapter Text

Night Moves

Dean instantly leaned into the kiss, sucking in a deep breath through his nose, grabbing Cas’s hip with one hand and pushing his other into the hair at the back of Cas’s head; pulling him close. He kissed him fiercely, pulling at his bottom lip and running his tongue along it, begging for entrance. Cas opened up to him immediately and it was fucking glorious, Dean’s heart hammering in his chest. He pulled Cas back, stepping inside his house, never breaking their intense kiss. Cas kicked the door shut behind him. Dean pushed the soaking wet flannel off Cas, letting it fall to the ground. They broke the kiss only for a moment, long enough to rip each other’s shirts from their bodies, letting them fall, forgotten on the floor.

Their hands roamed each other’s torso’s as they resumed their heated kiss. Dean pulls Cas into him, one hand stroking down his back to grab a handful of his ass. It felt so good to finally touch Cas the way he had been wanting to for months but couldn’t. He didn’t think this was how his night was going to go after Cas ran out of the Roadhouse, but here he is. And damn is he so happy he’s here.

Cas let out a deep moan at the squeeze of Dean’s hand on his ass, his own hands running up Dean’s built chest. Dean walked them back towards the stairs, they broke apart, Dean grabbing Cas’s hand and pulling him up the stairs. When they made it to the top, Cas grabbed Dean’s face and kissed him soundly. Cas’s hands flew to the hem of Dean’s sweats, running his fingers along the front of them before reaching further down to start palming Dean’s cock through his pants. Dean let out a gasp that broke their kiss as his head fell back. He moaned at the touch he had been waiting so long to feel.

Cas continued to run his hand along the outline of Dean’s hardening cock as he backed him down the hall and into Dean’s room. When the back of Dean’s knees hit the bed, Cas pushed him down and climbed on top of him, kissing him deeply. Cas had taken control and Dean had no problem letting him take the reins and do as he pleased with him. They kissed passionately, hot and heavy; tongues battling for dominance before Cas slowly started to nip along Dean’s jaw and down his neck. When he came to the junction where Dean’s neck met his collar bone, Cas bit down and sucked hard, sure to leave a dark bruise to remind Dean of this night.

“Ah Cas.” Dean groaned, loving the feeling of Cas marking him as his own.

His hands were squeezing Cas’s hips as he rutted up against him, his hard cock twitched against Castiel’s thigh in anticipation. This prompted a deep throaty moan out of Cas. he started to grind his own clothed cock down into Dean’s crotch, that’s when Dean made a decision.

“To many clothes.” Dean growled, reaching down and unbuckling Castiel’s belt and jeans while he took the opportunity to suck kisses down Cas’s throat. Cas moaned.

Dean pushed lightly on Cas’s hips prompting him to stand. When he did, Dean sat up and yanked his jeans off while Cas made quick work of Deans sweats, pleased to find he was going commando underneath. Once off, Cas latched himself back onto Dean, pushing him back into the bed and straddling his lap.

Dean’s brain seemed to malfunction as Cas started to grind down into his lap, their cocks rubbing together with just enough friction to make Dean’s eyes roll back and his mouth hang open in a silent moan.

“Cas…” Dean panted, trying to pull his mind back online.

 Cas hummed into his neck as he started to suck on the sweet spot just below Dean’s ear. This made thinking very hard for Dean and he felt Cas smirk against his neck when he did not continue his sentence right away.

That bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. Dean thought before saying, “F – fuck me Cas.” Cas pulled back and looked into Dean’s eyes, an unspoken question behind his them.

“Please… Fuck me. I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I Wanna feel you.” Dean whimpered, breathing heavily. He was trying to convey every emotion he felt for Cas into those words. Cas smiled and nodded.

“Ok, where is the lube and do we need condoms? I’m clean, haven’t been with anyone in a couple years.” Cas said honestly as he sat up and moved off Dean and to the side of the bed.

Dean’s eyes went wide and his brain partially short circuited again at the idea of having Cas inside him with no barriers. Dean had always been careful with the handful of one night stands he’d had; he either knew them or used a condom, but this was different... this was Cas.

”E – everything is in that drawer.” He pointing to the nightstand to the left. “And we don’t need condoms necessarily. I’m clean too, been a long ass time. Honestly the condoms might be expired.” Dean chuckled.

Cas’s face lit up with a huge smile and a slight chuckle before he reached over and opened the draw; he knew he wanted this with Dean. Inside he found the lube he was looking for and then something caught his eye. Also inside the drawer was a few dildos and to Castiel’s surprise, a pair of pink satin and lace panties that sat balled up in the corner. In his mind Cas laughed, not wanting to ruin what was happening now. He grabbed the lube and closed to drawer, though he stowed the panty information into a corner of his mind for later. He came back over and settled himself between Dean’s legs, running one hand down his inner thigh as he watched Dean lazily stroke his hard cock. He pushed Dean’s hand away and Dean raised an eyebrow but did not question him.

Cas set the lube next to him as he sunk down onto his elbows, pushing Dean’s legs to the side and spreading his ass cheeks. He delved his tongue down to lick a stripe over Dean’s hole, pulling a long moan from his chest. This spurred Cas on; he dove in, lapping and pushing his tongue inside Dean. He worked Dean open with his tongue before slowly pushing one figure inside, causing Dean to moan wantonly, pushing his ass against the glorious intrusion.

“Oh… Fuck Cas…” Dean’s words sent a shot of electricity through Castiel. He pulled back to look up at Dean as he inserted a second finger, slowly moving in and out. He met Dean’s eyes and saw the fire burning behind them, pupils blown with lust. Cas’s dick was hanging heavy between his legs, throbbing and leaking precum against his thigh. The need to be inside Dean was strong, but he needed him to be ready.

Cas scissored his fingers and when he met no resistance he inserted a third finger, pulling another filthy moan from the back of Dean’s throat. Dean had thrown his head back, his eyes rolling back into his head as his back arcing off the bed in ecstasy when Cas took the opportunity to lean down and take his length into his mouth, sucking the pre-cum from the tip and taking him in as far as he could. He felt Dean’s whole-body shudder as his hips bucked up, pushing his cock further down Cas’s throat. Cas moaned around his cock while he pumped his fingers inside him. Dean couldn’t believe how good this was feeling, having Castiel take his time with him and thoroughly prepare him was mind-blowing. He couldn’t take the teasing anymore though, he needed to feel Cas buried deep inside him.

“Please…. Cas… please, need you inside me. Now.” He begged.

He didn’t have to tell Cas twice, he pulled off Dean’s cock with a pop and took his fingers out of his ass; Dean whining a little at the loss of contact. Cas poured lube on his cock, lightly rubbing the tip of his cock against Dean’s hole.

Dean was panting and groaning, feeling like he might burst if Cas didn’t get inside him soon. “Shit…. Fuck me Cas.” He gasped.

No condom was new to Cas and from what he gathered it was also new to Dean. He was nervous until he heard Dean begging for him. This was different… this was Dean. All he needed was Dean’s words before he grabbed Dean’s leg and spread them apart, then slowly started to push inside him. When the head of Castiel’s cock breached the initial wall of muscle, Dean’s head fell onto his pillow and his eyes snapped shut as he gripped the sheets for purchase, breath catching in his throat. Once Cas was fully seated with his hips against Dean’s thighs, his mind was completely offline. He loved the feeling of Cas filling him up.

Cas stopped once he was all the way in, a long gravely moan fell from his lips as he watched Dean throw his head back in pleasure. He was waiting for Dean’s body to adjust to the feeling. Dean opened his eyes to look at Cas, mouth ajar as he nodded for him to move. Cas slowly started to pull out and then push back in, creating a steady, slow rhythm. Castiel dropped Dean’s legs and fell forward, planting a hand on either side of Dean’s head as he moved. Dean bucked his hips to meet every one of Castiel’s steady thrusts. Dean ran his hands up Cas’s back and into his messy hair, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

Cas picked up speed as they moaned into each other’s mouth’s, hips snapping, the sound of skin on skin being the only sound in the room aside from their desperate moans.

 A new feeling began to rise in Dean’s chest; he’d had plenty of sex before, but he was slowly beginning to realize from looking into Cas’s deep blue eyes that this was so much more than just sex. Yes, they had already established that they loved each other but this just solidified that feeling. They weren’t just fucking; they were making love, and it was so much better than a casual roll in the hay. He knew down to his core that Cas was it for him; he had experienced this, and he was never going back. He could see in Castiel’s glassy eyes that he seemed to be coming to the same revelation. He wrapped one arm around Cas’s waist and brought his other hand to cup the side of Cas’s head; pulling him down so that Cas’s forehead rested against his as they moved, perfectly in sync.

“I love you Cas.” Dean whispered breathily, staring into Cas’s eyes. Dean had never made love before, he never felt that connection with anyone; but he knew that’s what was happening between him and Cas now and he reveled in that knowledge.  

Cas melted at the sound of those 4 words falling from Dean’s lips. He was in the middle of realizing that he would never be able to quit Dean after this… They weren’t even done yet, and he already craved every inch of the green-eyed man. His thrusts sped up as he let out a groan and panted, Dean’s legs coming up and locking around his waist; changing the angle and making Cas go deeper.

“Love you… so… fucking much.” Cas panted out. Dean met him with every thrust and Cas felt that familiar warmth pooling in his lower belly; he was getting close.

Dean’s cock sat aching and neglected between their bodies. He felt Cas shudder slightly and he could tell he was getting close by the way his kisses had gotten sloppier and less precise. The thought of Cas cumming inside him made that warm feeling in his chest return. Almost like Cas read his mind, he reached down and took Dean’s leaking cock in his hand and started to stroke it to the rhythm of their thrusts.

Their breathing and thrusts became more sporadic the closer they both got. Finally, Dean felt like he was going to burst into flames as he looked at Cas and stuttered, “Cas…. I’m gonna…” Before he could finish his sentence, never taking his eyes off Castiel’s face. His whole body began to shake, and he was clenching down around Cas’s cock as he came, hot spurts of cum landing on Cas’s hand and Dean’s chest. He felt Cas’s orgasm hit him at the same time; feeling his cock pulse and shoot hot ropes of cum deep inside him.

Cas’s eyes never left Dean’s face as he watched him fall over the edge; Dean clenching around his cock immediately pushed him over the edge and he spilled into Dean’s tight ass for the first time with a cry of, “Dean!” His eyes slamming shut as he rode out his orgasm.

 Once Cas started to come down from his high, he gently pulled out and flopped onto the bed next to Dean. Both out of breath, they kissed lazily.

Dean smiled at him and tapped him lightly on the chest. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Cas nodded as he watched Dean get up and go into the adjoining bathroom. He heard the water turn on and a few minutes later Dean came out of the bathroom with a warm washcloth and cleaned Cas up. He threw the washcloth into the hamper in the corner of the bedroom and climbed back in bed next to Cas, pulling the covers over them. They laid on their sides facing each other, hands still roaming each other’s bodies aimlessly and legs tangled together; exploring every inch of smooth skin they could find. Dean leaned the inch or so in and kissed Cas with as much emotion as he could put into it. When they pulled back Cas was looking at him with that goofy grin of his.

“What?” Dean asked, biting his lip to keep the huge smile from forming.  

“Nothing just…” Cas paused then decided fuck it. “Is that what it’s like?... Making love.”

Dean couldn’t stop the huge grin that overtook his face as he answered, “Yeah babe… I think it is.”

Cas smiled widely and pulled him in for a heated kiss, the smooth glide of his tongue over Dean’s driving him crazy. When they pulled back, breathless, Dean said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  

With that they curled into one another and fell into a deep sleep to the sound of rolling thunder in the background.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21

Keep On Loving You

The next morning brought bright sun light through the floor to ceiling windows. It was Christmas morning and Dean had the best Christmas present he had ever gotten sleeping on top of him. He woke with the sun shining in his eyes, memory of the night before crashing down around him. He smiled as his mind registered the weight of legs and arms that had him in a vice grip.

Did Cas turn into an octopus overnight? Dean thought to himself as he tried to turn over in Cas’s arms so he could face him. Sometime in the night he had turned to face the wall of windows and Cas had latched himself onto his back. Cas groaned and squeezed tighter in his sleep as Dean tried to turn over, “Cas… Cas I just want to turn over.” Dean struggled to say as he was squeezed tighter.

Once he was finally able to wiggle around and face Cas, he put his hand on the side of his face and gently stroked his cheek with his thumb. Cas slowly started to stir, humming at Deans touch. Cas blinked and was met with a fond smile on Dean’s face.

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas mumbled, voice gravelly and full of sleep. He smiled at Dean and leaned in to kiss him gently.

When they pulled apart, Dean greeted him, “Mornin sunshine… Merry Christmas Cas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Cas pecked Dean’s lips once more before looking at his watch, which of course had stopped yet again.

He sighed and asked, “What time is it?”

Dean took note that Castiel’s watch quit working again like it had multiple times the last month. He knows how much Cas likes his watch.

Maybe I’ll give him my watch… He always compliments it. He thought to himself.

He looked at his watch and answered, “It’s almost 9. We should get up and take a shower before I have to start cooking Christmas dinner.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Cas rolled his eyes even though he felt his adrenaline surge at the thought of showering with Dean. It was something he has fantasized about though he would not admit it just yet. He knew that the family would be here soon, and they needed to get a move on. Sam had taken care of the horses this morning since Dean was going to be cooking for most of the day.

“I have a feeling if we showered together right now, we would be in there until everyone got here. Might be best to clean up separately and shower together, perhaps tonight?” Cas suggested, a slight sadness to his tone.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I intend on exploring every part of you later though.” Dean nipped at Cas’s lip. Cas laughed lightly and turned on his back to stretch. Dean pushed himself up off the bed and stretched while looking at the fresh snow that covered his patio. Dean’s firm ass caught Cas’s attention as he propped himself up on an elbow and admired the view that was currently on display. Dean turned around and smirked at Cas as he asked. “Enjoying the view?” He smirked.

“Yes, but I’m afraid if I look any longer, I won’t get out of this bed.” Cas bit his bottom lip before turning away to roll out of the bed himself.

“I’ll go shower in the spare bathroom and meet you downstairs.” Cas said as he came up behind Dean, grabbing a handful of his ass then slapping it hard. Dean let out a surprised yelp that he would never admit came out of him. Cas walked away with a smirk on his face. They were both feeling very happy.

15 minutes later Dean was showered and downstairs with a towel wrapped low around his hips; he whistled as he started to cook breakfast for them both. He was mixing up the pancake batter after he put some bacon in the oven (he didn’t usually cook bacon like that, but he was a little short on time.) when Cas came down the stairs, clad in only a towel as well. Cas had realized he didn’t have anything to wear and would need to borrow something of Dean’s. the towel hung loose and low on his hips, and Dean had to pull his eyes away after he found himself staring.

Cas came around the counter and asked, “What’s for breakfast?”

Dean’s brain was partially shut down and he thought he might be drooling a little; he tried to pull together a coherent thought, but he only stumbled over his words as he said, “Umm. P – pancakes, bacon and – and eggs.”

Cas noticed Dean was having a hard time considering his eyes were large and roaming quickly over Cas’s body, unsure where to stop. Cas bit his bottom lip to try to keep himself from laughing but that apparently sent Dean into orbit. Dean dropped the bowl of batter on the counter and slammed his body into Cas’s, his hands landing on the sides of his face to crash their mouths together in a passionate kiss. Dean walked Cas down to a clean spot on the kitchen island then he ripped the towel off Castiel’s body as he pushed him to sit on the counter, his cock already half hard. Cas didn’t hesitate to part his legs to allow Dean to step between them. Cas reached down and dropped Dean’s towel in one quick motion, letting it fall to the floor; his already hard cock resting against his belly. They never once broke their kiss.

Dean had his hands on Castiel’s hips, squeezing lightly as he ran one hand up and down his side. Cas had his hand threaded through Dean’s hair as they continued to make out, when they heard a familiar voice yell out, startling them both.

“Oh Jesus Christ! Wh - what the fuck! And on the counter too!?”

They broke apart quickly as Cas practically fell off the counter and Dean stumbled backwards clutching his chest in a show of dramatics. Dean’s heart was hammering in his chest, both from making out with Cas and his brother’s sudden appearance. Dean quickly grabbed the towel that Cas was holding out for him; all he needed was for his brother to witness the raging boner he currently had. They were both panting, their faces were a deep shade of red when they looked up to see Sam standing by the stairs with his hands thrown over his eyes; the bag he was apparently carrying had been dropped on the floor and some potatoes were rolling around.

“Damn it, Sam! Learn how to fucking knock!” Dean yelled at his little brother while he secured the towel around his waist and moved closer to the counter to hide the bulge that was still evident; Cas grabbing the other towel and doing the same thing only he looked like he was about to pass out. Dean gave him a look that he hoped conveyed an apology for his brother and reassurance.

Dean wasn’t sure how Cas was wanting to go about this; when he would want to tell everyone since he was so gun-shy about the whole relationship thing. He didn’t want to pressure him in any way, and he was more than willing to do whatever made Cas feel the most comfortable. Then Cas’s hand rested on Dean’s left shoulder, knowing Cas was trying to keep himself from running away; Dean covered it with his own hand and ran his thumb along it, hoping it helped.

Cas felt like he was about to pass out, this was not how he thought this morning was going to go. He grabbed onto Dean’s shoulder to ground him and keep himself from running up those stairs, when Dean put his hand over his; he knew he could face anything.

“What do you mean knock! The door was unlocked, that’s been our rule for a long ass time Dean! If the door is unlocked, you can come in otherwise knock! Plus, Cas’s truck is nowhere to be seen so I thought I would just drop off the potatoes you forgot to get from Eileen last night.” Sam shouted quickly. He still had his hand covering his eyes and both Dean and Cas had to stop themselves from laughing when they looked at one another.

“Sam, take your hands off your eyes.” Dean insisted with more humor in his voice than he meant for there to be.

“Nope, I’m good. I need to bleach my eyes when I get home.” Sam retorted, still holding his hand over his eyes like a child. Dean shook his head.

“Dude for real. Quit acting like you’ve never seen someone make out and take your hands off your eyes. We are both covered now.” Dean insisted, slightly annoyed at his brother’s childishness. Cas had to stifle his laughter in his other hand.

“Fine.” Sam agreed, slowly removing his hands from his face. He refused to make eye contact as he bent down and picked up the rogue potatoes, then he walked over to the island and set the bag down.

“Well… I am glad to see you two seemed to have gotten your heads out your ass’s. But on the counter!? Really!?” Sam made a revolted face as he eyed the counter in disgust where Cas had been sitting only minutes ago.

“Shut up Sammy.” Dean looked over to Cas and saw the plea in his eyes that he was not ready to let everyone know about them. Hell, they didn’t even know about them. They just knew they were in love. Madly, in love.

Dean turned back to his brother who was looking at the counter with a look like he might throw up at any moment. When Dean spoke, Sam looked up to meet his gaze.

“Look sasquatch, we really want to keep this between us for now.” Dean gestured between him and Cas, who had his chin resting on the hand that rested on Dean’s shoulder; he was looking down at a blob of pancake batter on the counter. “It’s new and we would like to have a chance to figure everything out and discuss it before everyone butts in.” Dean finished, proud of himself for how he’s handling it. “And you might want to start knocking when you come over.” Dean smirked. Cas chuckled beside him but still stayed silent.

“Ok first, gross. Second…” Sam paused, looking between them with a huge, knowing grin on his face. “I’m so fucking happy for both of you. Really like, this is amazing. I won’t say anything to anyone, but you know I have to tell Eileen.” Sam turned on the puppy dog eyes, knowing it would work on them both.

Dean went to protest but as he opened his mouth, Cas spoke for the first time beside him. “That’s fine Sam. If you tell her to not tell anyone else; it would be greatly appreciated. And thank you. I’m glad I finally pulled my head out of my ass as well.” He looked at Dean with a fond smile. Dean blushed as Cas continued, “As for my truck, it’s behind the barn. I hid it in case I got cold feet about coming here last night.”

“I’ll tell her. She will be thrilled! Anyways, I’ll let y’all get back to it. Just be dressed when everyone comes over this afternoon. No one wants to see your junk Dean.” Sam said pointedly before adding, “Merry Christmas! Try not to break everything!” as he walked out the door.

Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, wiping a hand down his face then turning to wrap his arms around Castiel’s waist. Cas came willingly as he kissed his lips, a small, gentle smile across his face. “Thank you, Dean.”

“For what?”

“For asking Sam not to say anything yet. I want to take things slow and keep it to ourselves for a little while. Not long, just for a little bit. I’m still scared, and I just need it to be us.” Cas said, finding his words fell without hesitation when he was in Dean’s arms. He loved it. He loved Dean.

“I love you Dean.” He concluded, looking into Dean’s eyes. All he found there was love, acceptance and a little mischief.

“No problem sweetheart. I knew you wouldn’t want the whole family making a big deal out of it when it was so new. When you’re ready, we will tell everyone. Until then we will try to act normal, and I will try not to jump your bones every 5 seconds.” Dean chuckled, then added, “And I love you too, Cas.”

He placed a sweet slow kiss on Cas’s lips, pulling a soft, contented sigh from him.

“Can I borrow some of your clothes? All I have are my still soaking wet clothes from last night.” Cas asked when they broke their kiss. Dean had picked the clothes up from in front of the front door when he first came down the stairs.

“Yeah, no problem. Grab whatever you want out of my closet. And hey, are you sure you’re ok with Eileen knowing?” Dean asked, concern laced in his voice.

Cas smiled softly, “Yes, Eileen is my friend, and we talk often. She has been good to me since I came crashing into your life. Plus, I knew she would find out either way and I know she won’t say anything.”

“Ok good. Just making sure. I’m glad you feel so at home with everyone…. This is your family Cas. It always will be.” Dean reassured him.

“I know.” Cas pecked him on the lips and smacked his ass again, “Now finish breakfast, I’m starving!” He winked at Dean as he turned to head up the stairs to find something to wear. He heard Dean start to whistle again as he mixed the batter, bringing a smile to his face.

This was the start of the rest of his life.

                                                         -------------------------------------------  

Dean finished breakfast while Cas went up to his room to grab some clothes. In Dean’s closet he found one of his favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirts that Dean had; it was worn and soft. He went to the dresser and opened the drawer he knew held his sweatpants and grabbed a pair of grey sweats; they were old, thin and soft. He had decided he would go commando until his clothes were done washing. Dean’s floors were all wood and they could get cold in the winter months, he opened the sock drawer to find it almost empty (Dean had a bad habit of not putting his socks away). Cas shook his head and grabbed a pair that were near the back. They had burgers on them, Cas chuckle. As he pulled them out, something fell to the ground at Castiel’s feet with a light thud. He took a step back and looked down at his feet to find a small, black, velvet box. he tilted his head to the side in confusion and bent down to pick it up.

Cas slowly walked over to the end of the bed and sat down.

Why is there a ring box in the drawer? Cas contemplated as he flipped it over in his hand.

This couldn’t be for me… Is it for me? Cas’s heart started to race as this thought crept into his mind. Had Dean bought him a ring? Or was this from something in the past? No, it couldn’t be from the past; Dean had told him he hadn’t had a serious relationship since high school.

Should I open it? Cas contemplated it, lost in his thoughts and confusion when Dean’s voice ripped him out of his mind.

“Cas! Breakfast is ready!” Dean yelled from downstairs.

Cas jumped and fumbled with the box, almost dropping it.

“Coming!” He yelled towards the door as he quickly decided it was none of his business and put the ring box back, throwing a pair of socks over it to make sure it didn’t look like he had found it. He did not open it; he was not the type of person to snoop and that was not how he wanted to start out this relationship with Dean. If Dean wanted him to know about it, he would tell him. Cas shut the drawer and pulled on the pair of socks; willing himself as he walked out the door and down the hall to act normal and like he hadn’t found that box. he pushed it to the farthest corner of his mind as he took the stairs two at a time, coming to the bottom of the steps and jumping down.

Dean looked up at the sound of feet hitting the floor to see Cas walking towards him; clad in one of his t-shirts and a pair of grey sweats. Dean’s eyes swept down Cas’s body, stopping at the outline of Cas’s cock as he walked towards him. Dean knew those sweats; he was always careful where he wore them because they were old and thin, always leaving nothing to the imagination. Dean swallowed hard as he tore his eyes away from Cas’s crotch and up to his face, willing his brain to come back online. Dean remembered he was still in a towel and that he should probably go change; he would need to start cooking after he ate and cleaned up the dishes. He handed a plate to Cas, when something caught his eye. He looked down and noticed the socks Cas wore, were his.

 Panic rose in Dean’s chest as he remembered the ring box that was sitting in the back of his sock drawer. He assessed the situation as quickly as he possibly could without making it obvious that he was having an internal panic attack.

If Cas grabbed a pair of socks out of my drawer, did he see the box? Dean thought.

Cas seemed fine and like nothing had happened when he took his plate with a kiss to Dean’s lips and a thank you as he walked around the island to sit at the counter. Dean had to go check. He told Cas he was going to go put some clothes on and headed towards the stairs. Once up the first 2 steps he took them 2 at a time while trying to keep his towel around his waist. He ran straight to his dresser and yanked the drawer open; he found it mostly empty except for 3 pairs of socks, one of which was covering the little black box in the right corner, exactly where he left it. He took a deep breath and sank to the floor.

Cas must not have seen it. You should move it dumbass. He told himself. He stood back up and threw his towel over on the bed. he reached in another drawer to pull out one of his favorite pairs of underwear; they had a growling bear on the front and a snowy landscape on the ass. He then grabbed the little box and took it with him into his closet; there he hid it in a box that held some of the things that were his mothers. No one ever got into that box except for him so he knew Cas would never see it there.

“Keep this safe for me mom… I know you would love him.” He whispered as he looked at one of the pictures of him and his mother from when he was a kid. He smiled a sad smile and closed the box. He grabbed an AC/DC t-shirt and a pair of jeans and pulled them on. Then he headed back downstairs. He grabbed his plate and saw that Cas had made some coffee while he was changing. He filled 2 mugs and sat down next to Cas.

They spent the remainder of their time eating, talking about simple things like the weather and what they were having for dinner. They agreed that they needed to talk and figure some things out, but they wouldn’t have time before everyone got there. While Dean started to prepare the pies for tonight, Cas was going to go back to the bar and grab the presents he had for everyone at his apartment. This would give Dean plenty of time to wrap his watch which he decided he was going to give to Cas since he loved it so much. He knew it was kind of odd to give someone a used watch, but this was his favorite watch and he wanted Cas to have a piece of him with him all the time.

They cleaned the kitchen together, Dean washing while Cas dried; all Dean could think about was later that night when he would get to have Cas all to himself again. Once Cas left, Dean took his watch off and placed it in a Christmas bag and put it in the closet with the cassette tapes he made Cas as well. He went back downstairs to start baking the pies that he was making for that night. He was making blueberry, apple and pecan pies. He turned on some music and got started.

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Cas got to the roadhouse and found it empty; Ellen had given him a key to the bar since his apartment was inside. He went upstairs and grabbed the duffle bag out of the top of his closet. He packed enough clothes for a few days and grabbed the presents that sat under the small Christmas tree he had in his living room. While he was there, he got ‘Merry Christmas’ texts from Gabriel, Michael and surprisingly, one from his father. He replied to them quickly before heading out the door. He locked the door and went downstairs and back to his truck. He drove back to the ranch, the whole time he was tapping his hand on the steering wheel as he listened to the local country station. Country music had grown on him since he had moved there and started spending time with Dean. He learned he loved old country music artists like Garth Brooks, George Strait and Marty Robbins.

He pulled into the ranch and parked next to the Impala. When he got out of the truck, he could hear the feint sound of music coming from the house. He chuckled and grabbed all the items from his backseat. He walked up the porch and opened the front door, greeted by Miracle and the sound of a familiar Garth Brooks song playing over Deans large stereo system. He walked into the kitchen to find Dean dancing around, swaying his hips and holding a spatula as a microphone.  Dean’s back was to him as he set the presents on the counter and struggled to contain his laughter. There was no way he was going to interrupt this. In fact, Cas pulled out his phone and took a video that was only a few seconds long then pocketed it again. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold in his laughter when Dean finally turned around to face him towards the end of the song.

Dean was almost done making the pies; the blueberry and apple were done and cooling, he was fixing to put the pecan in the oven. He had been listening to his country music playlist on his iPod when a song he couldn’t help but dance to came on. He was holding the spatula he had just washed when he started to sing along to Garth Brooks the Fever. He was having himself a great time; he was happy it was Christmas (one of his favorite holidays), and he had Cas back with him in a way he couldn’t believe. So yes, he was dancing in the middle of his kitchen because no one was there to witness it. Or so he thought. The song was nearing its end when he turned around and jumped, coming face to face with a laughing Castiel.

Dean’s face turned a bright red as he brought his dancing to a sudden halt. Cas burst out laughing, wiping a tear away from his eye as he tried to collect himself.

“Nice of you to announce yourself.” Dean grumbled, trying to sound bitter but his voice betrayed him. “Can’t a man dance in his own kitchen without being judged. Come on!” He added as he threw the spatula in the sink.

He wasn’t mad at all, just slightly embarrassed. This made Cas laugh even harder, doubling over and holding his stomach. The sound of Castiel’s laughter was music to Dean’s ears and he couldn’t help but join in; at first trying to hold it back but then letting himself enjoy this moment with Cas. Dean walked around the counter over to Cas, placed both hands on either side of his face and gently pulled him in for a slow kiss. It wasn’t rushed or sexual; it was sweet and loving and it made Cas get butterflies in his stomach.

When they broke the kiss Dean said, “Welcome home Cas.”

Home. Was this Castiel’s home now? Cas wasn’t sure what to make of it, so he just smiled as Dean pulled away and walked back over to put his pie in the oven.

For Dean, this was Castiel’s home now… In a way, it always had been. He had spent more time here with Dean than he did in his own apartment. Cas had a room he always stayed in, and he even kept a toothbrush and soap in the spare bathroom. This was something they would have to discuss along with everything else.

Cas took all the presents over to the tree in the corner of the living room and put them under it; when he came back over to the kitchen Dean nodded towards Cas’s duffle bag.

“You can put that in my room if you want… If it’s ok with you, I see no reason for you to stay in the spare room.”

Dean seemed a little nervous to say this and Cas took note of that. It was a reminder to Cas that this was just as scary for Dean as it was for himself. But this also made Castiel’s heart soar with love.

“Yes, that’s perfectly fine with me.” Cas said with the biggest grin on his face.

He wasn’t sure where his place was since they hadn’t talked yet. Sure, they had slept together last night and made out this morning and Dean seemed to want to keep up a comfortable intimacy with him; but there hadn’t been any defining words of what this was. Even though they hadn’t had a chance to put a label to what they were, Dean’s actions made him realize that the doubts he was feeling were meaningless and that his place indeed was with Dean. He loved Cas after all, and Cas was noticing more and more as the day wore on how much Dean showed his love for him through his actions. It seemed so obvious now, how had he ever doubted it?

“Great.” Dean happily agreed, turning back to his cooking as Cas took his bag up the stairs and into Dean’s room.

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Cas helped Dean with the cooking as much as he could; he kept the dishes clean and was the taste tester when needed. They were both in a comfortable, domestic rhythm neither one of them ever knew was possible and it felt damn good. It came easy to them, and it felt like they had been together for years. By the time the pies were cooled, the potatoes made, and the roast pulled out of the oven; Dean was covered in all sorts of flour and food, not to mention he was sweating up a storm from the heat the oven and stove was putting off. Cas was busy washing the last of the dishes Dean had used when he excused himself to go wash up and change clothes, the family would start to show up in about 30 minutes.

Dean took a quick shower and trimmed his beard; it was getting long, and he knew Ellen would want pictures. If he was honest with himself, he really wanted some photos with him and Cas, especially now. As he came out of the bathroom and into his room, he smiled at the now open duffle bag sitting on his bed. It was a wonderful reminder that Cas was his to have and to hold now. He pulled on one of his nicer pairs of jeans (they had 2 small tears in them when he bought them, but Sam said it was trendy) his favorite grey short sleeved Henley and a pair of dark brown boots. He grabbed his spare watch that sat on the nightstand; it was an all-black, heavy duty military watch. It was better suited for the work he did than the other one. He really did like it and was planning on wearing it in place of the one he was giving Castiel.

He came back downstairs to Cas no longer in the thin grey sweats and Led Zeppelin shirt; he was now wearing a grey t-shirt with a black button down over it and a pair of dark jeans and the boots he always wore. Dean’s mouth went dry as he sucked in a sharp breath. He didn’t realize how effected he was by Cas until he didn’t have to hide it or tell himself he needed to act ‘normal’. Cas was standing at the kitchen island looking at something on his phone when he noticed Dean standing there. Cas looked up and smiled at him as his eyes wondered over Dean’s body. Dean felt like he was glued to the floor as Cas slowly came around the counter, phone forgotten. Dean couldn’t Decipher the look in Castiel’s eyes; he walked toward him like a predator stalking their pray. He stopped about 1 foot from Dean and spoke.

“That shirt fits you very well Dean… You look….” Cas reached out and ran his hand slowly down Dean’s chest. Dean’s breath caught as he stared wide eyed at Cas. Cas lifted an eyebrow and leaned closer to Dean’s face. Dean could feel Cas’s warm breath on his lips as he spoke. “Sexy. You should wear it more often.”

Dean felt like he was about to combust, his brain was no longer registering anything around him except for Castiel. Cas smirked and planted a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips then stepped away and yelled, “Come in!”

Dean’s brain struggled to come back online as he registered Charlie bounding through the door. Before Dean could do anything, Cas pulled him by the arm around the other side of the counter and whispered in his ear, “You might want to get rid of that.” as he glanced down at Dean’s crotch.

Dean followed his gaze, mouth slightly ajar and saw the slight bulge in his pants. Reality suddenly hit his brain as he struggled to adjust himself without being too obvious while Charlie was going on about traffic while she put her presents under the tree.

When did Cas become such a tease? Dean thought to himself as he tried to make his face normal. Cas was smirking over at him as he talked to Charlie. Finally, when she was finished setting her presents down, she came running over and jumped into Deans arms. He caught her and squeezed her tightly. She then threw her arms around Castiel’s neck as she said how much she missed them both.

A few minutes later Sam and Eileen came through the door with Thor running in behind them to tackle Miracle. They hugged Charlie and Eileen winked at Cas and Dean; Cas turned a shade of red and went into the kitchen to grab everyone a beer. Dean quietly laughing at his embarrassment as he watched him go.

Dean was in the kitchen with Eileen, setting out the casseroles she had brought while Cas was talking to Charlie and Sam. The room was already loud with laughter when Ellen, Bobby and Jo walked in, arms full of food and presents.

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Dinner went by quickly with laughter and jokes being told around the table. Dean had looked around the table after they finished eating and were having a few drinks; he realized how lucky he was to have a family that loved him and accepted him. The same family that already accepted Cas with open arms when he was just Dean’s best friend… He was still Dean’s best friends but now he was something more. He knew they would be excited for them when they did find out. Only two people know other than him and Cas and he found it hard to keep his hands off Cas. Cas was sitting next to Dean; they were sitting so close that their thighs were touching. Across from them sat Sam and Eileen, Charlie Sat next to Dean and Jo sat next to Eileen with Ellen and Bobby on either end of the table.

Dean poured glasses of whiskey for everyone while they all went to sit in the living room. Bobby and Ellen sat on the love seat, Jo, Charlie, Eileen and Sam squeezing onto the larger couch, playfully shoving one another to make more room. that left only one other piece of furniture free, the old leather chair. Dean rolled his eyes as Sam gave him a wink and a devilish smile. The hardest part about keeping this between themselves, was going to be that everyone was still going to be putting them in compromising situations. They all tried to push them together, but their family was horrible at hiding the fact that they were all trying to be matchmakers, and they can’t react like they would usually. This – was one of those situations.

Dean brought over a tray that had all the glasses of whiskey and a decanter on it and set it on the coffee table. Everyone grabbed a glass while Dean and Cas stood there awkwardly, neither of them wanting to leave the other with the only seating option being the floor. If Dean and Cas would’ve been in this situation only a few days ago the answer would’ve been simple; they would’ve shared the chair with Dean making a smartass joke. But that was a dangerous game to play now that they were aloud to touch each other the way they always wanted too.

“Sit down boys so we can get this train rolling.” Bobby said, taking a sip from his glass.

Dean met Cas’s eyes, then he suddenly knew how to get at least partially out of the awkwardness.

“I’ll be Santa!” Dean yelled, running over to the hall closet and grabbing a Santa hat out of it.

Everyone laughed and Cas took this as a hint for him to sit in the chair. Dean ran over to the tree and grabbed the first present and handed it out; he did this until all the presents had been passed around. He had been handing his presents absentmindedly to Castiel who had been putting them next to the chair on the floor. When all the presents were handed out, Dean walked over to Cas and shrugged his shoulders. He patted Cas on the knee and sat on the floor in between his legs, resting one arm over one of Cas’s legs.

This is fine. You’ve done this before. No one will suspect a thing. Dean told himself.

And he seemed to be right, no one batted an eye at the more intimate way they were sitting. He didn’t care if everyone knew but he wanted nothing more than to respect Castiel’s wishes. He knew this was fine when Cas did not tense, but instead, rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Ellen had put Jo in charge of taking photos of everyone during the present opening and Dean was going to make sure she took plenty of him and Cas under the excuse that this was his first proper Christmas… His first Christmas with them; a family that loved him.

They all took turns opening their presents while Jo snapped the pictures. Dean and Sam gave each other the usual gag gifts, Charlie bought Dean a pair of underwear he thought were hilarious; they had cactus on them and said, ‘Don’t Be a Prick’. Ellen and Bobby gave Dean a new toolbox he so desperately needed. He’d been using the same one for 15 years and it was his fathers before him. Eileen gave Dean a gift certificate to the local tack store, knowing Dean would have a field day in there. Cas received his first cowboy hat from Ellen and Bobby and his first pair of cowboy boots from Sam and Eileen. He loved it and was ecstatic to find out it was all Dean’s idea. Dean had realized the day before Christmas Eve that they were missing something with the hat and boots; Dean ran back to the western store and purchased a dark leather belt and silver belt buckle with an Elk on it, underneath the Elk in small writing it read ‘Montana’. It wasn’t oversized, Dean tried it on to make sure; he thought Cas would love it.

When Cas opened the box with the belt in it, his smile was contagious. He ran his finger over it and looked down at Dean.

“Thank you, Dean. I love it.” He said, wishing he could kiss him but settling for squeezing his shoulder.

“Your welcome sunshine. Can’t have you continue to come to the ranch and not dress like a proper cowboy.” Dean winked and smiled softly. Dean loved old western movies and cowboys. He couldn’t wait to see Cas in his cowboy hat, boots and belt.

He handed Cas a large, heavy box and said this was also from him. Cas opened it to find a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue and a set of 6 crystal whiskey glasses. They were beautiful and Cas said as much when he thanked Dean again, feeling his heart burst with love. Cas felt kind of bad that the only thing he had gotten Dean was a replacement bottle of his favorite whiskey, even though it was an expensive bottle. But Dean seemed to have everything, and Cas had always been horrible at gift giving. He hoped Dean understood. Cas promised himself he would make it up to him on his birthday.

The last present to be opened was the present to Dean from Cas. Dean tore open the wrapping paper and gently pulled out the bottle. A smile spread across his face as he looked up at Cas and spoke.

“Cas, I don’t know what to say. Thanks man.” This was something Dean bought himself, it was not a cheap whiskey by any means, he made it last as long as possible every time he got a new bottle. It meant a lot to him that Cas would buy what was to Dean, an extravagant gift. He needed his family to leave his house so he could properly show Castiel how appreciative he was.

“You’re welcome. I noticed you were getting low and thought you would like it.” Cas ducked his head shyly.

They both seemed to be doing everything in their power not to be all over each other. They settled for longing stares, but they felt the need to be touching. After presents were opened, they all resumed drinking and talking. More and more stories got passed around and the longer the night wore on the more Dean and Cas were letting their guard down. Dean went from on the floor to sitting partially on Castiel’s side as he gave the excuse that his hips couldn’t sit on the hard floor anymore. But this gave Cas the advantage of having one hand hidden by Dean’s back; he took advantage of this and was stroking his hand gently up and down Dean’s spine. Dean enjoyed the touch, leaning into it and trying to keep his hands to himself.

Slowly the family started to leave; Ellen, Bobby and Jo left first, then Sam and Eileen went home about an hour later after playing a little poker. Charlie was the only one left and she was staying at Dean’s. Dean forgot this minor detail after waking up in Cas’s arms and didn’t know how this was going to work.

Luckily, around 10pm Charlie said she was tired from all the driving she had done that day.

“Night bitches!” She Called after she hugged them both and went upstairs to bed.

It wasn’t too late and now seemed like as good a time as any to talk. “Cas, do you want to go sit on the porch by the fire pit and talk?” Dean asked hopefully.

“Yes. That sounds nice.” Cas agreed, liking the idea of being able to touch Dean freely again.

“Ok, I got to get something then I’ll meet you out there.” Dean said as he ran up the stairs.

Cas wasn’t sure what Dean would need to get but he just shrugged and headed into the kitchen to make them something warm to drink while outside. He was almost done making hot apple cider with a shot of whiskey in it when Dean came walking down the stairs with 2 small Christmas bags. Having already opened the present from Dean with the family, Cas was slightly confused. He tilted his head to the side and said, “What’s that Dean?”

Dean walked over, eyes cast to the ground as he spoke, setting the bags on the counter. “I uhhh – I made you something that I thought you would like. A little, ‘this is your home and I want to show you how much I want you here present’. I wanted to give it to you privately.” He looked up at Cas with love behind his eyes, though he seemed guarded like he didn’t know how Cas would respond to this gesture.

“That’s very sweet Dean. Thank you.” Cas beamed as he reached out and took one of the bags. He took the paper out and pulled out 2 cassette tapes; one read in Dean’s writing ‘Deans Top 13 Zepp Traxx’, the other read ‘Songs That Remind Me of You’. Cas’s mouth fell open, he was shocked that Dean would take the time to do something like this for him; but then he remembered that’s what people do for the people that they love.

“Dean – this is amazing… thank you so much.” Cas grinned, looking up and seeing the hopeful look in Dean’s eyes.

“Open this one.” Dean said, pushing the smaller bag towards Cas.

He took the bag and reached inside, pulling out a watch he recognized immediately to be Dean’s watch. He stared at it in confusion, running his thumb over the face of it. It had a dark leather band that was worn, showing how well used and loved it had been, and a black face with electric blue hour markers and minute and second hands.

Cas looked up at Dean and said, “I – I can’t take this Dean. This is your favorite watch…”

Dean’s lip quirked up at the corner, he knew that would be Castiel’s initial reaction.

“Cas… That’s why I want you to have it…” He moved around the counter and took the watch from Cas’s hand. He took off the broken watch that was on Castiel’s wrist and replaced it with his. “I want you to have it because it was mine… I want you to have a piece of me with you, always. And what better way, than to wear my favorite watch.” Dean concluded with a soft smile.

“Thank you, Dean. This means more to me than you will ever know. But I don’t have anything special to give to you in return.” Cas bit his bottom lip. At that point he noticed the black watch that was on Dean’s wrist. He had never seen it before, but he liked it, it fit Dean very well.

Dean shook his head, “You gave me the most special and awesome present anyone has ever given me last night. I don’t need anything else other than you.”

Cas didn’t know what to say to that; no one had ever said anything like that to him before. The back of his eyes started to burn as he stood there staring wide eyed at Dean.

Dean must have notice what his words meant to Cas because he nodded towards the front porch and said, “Let’s go sit on the patio.” He grabbed the 2 cups and leading the way outside.

Dean set the 2 mugs down on the side table next to the outdoor couch then turned on the gas firepit. They sat down and faced each other, a blanket thrown across their laps.

“What are we doing Dean?” Cas spoke first. His tone was confused, not mean sounding just, confused.

“I don’t know Cas. What do you want to do?” Dean asked. He knew what he wanted but he needed Cas to make decisions since he was the one who was so scared. He wasn’t about to push him away by forcing him into anything.

“I’m still scared. When I think about it… but – when I’m with you, everything comes so naturally, and I feel so confident.” Cas paused, seeming to try to figure out his feelings.

Dean took this as an opportunity to say what he needed to say. “Cas, I love you. and I know what I want.”

Cas perked up, Dean’s words bringing him out of his head and into this moment. Dean continued, “But I don’t want to pressure you into anything. This needs to be your decision. I want to be with you. I’ll do whatever you want, however long you want to keep this between you and me; I will do it. Just…. Go out with me. Be my boyfriend. What do ya say Cas?”

Cas was silent for a moment as he took in Dean’s words. Then a wide smile played across his face as he said, “All I want is to be with you, you aren’t pressuring me into anything. I can’t be without you; I’ve done it and it’s horrible. It will take some getting used to after not being with someone in so long but yes, I want to give it a shot… If soulmates are real, then you are mine. I love you Dean.” He leaned the few feet into Dean’s face and kissed him gently. When he pulled back, he could see the relief and joy on Dean’s face.

“Loving you is the only thing I want to do.” Dean said, trying to hold back a smirk.

“Did you really just sort of quote an REO Speedwagon song?” Cas gave a little chuckle.

“Yes, but it’s true.” Dean said leaning in and bringing his face mere centimeters from Cas’s. He felt Cas’s breath hitch.

Yeah, my turn to be the tease. Dean thought, as he placed one hand on the side of Cas’s face and the other reached out to turn off the switch for the firepit. He held Cas there for a moment, searching his wide eyes, feeling his heart pick up speed beneath his palm on his neck.

“Race you to the shower.” Dean whispered against his lips and gave him a light, barely there kiss. Then he bolted up and ran towards the door.

Cas was so lost in Dean’s gaze that his brain hadn’t registered what he had said until a few seconds after Dean shot up and was already through the door. Cas jumped up and ran through the door yelling, “Asshole!” as he ran up the stairs chuckling and trying to be as quiet as possible when he ran past the room Charlie was staying in. He ran into Dean’s room, but it was empty. Then he was tackled onto the bed and strong arms were wrapping around him. They both laughed as quietly as possible. They laid there for a few minutes, just staring at one another until Dean spoke. “So how long are you wanting to keep this between you and me?”

Cas contemplated for a moment then realized that he was probably being stupid about the whole thing, but he still wanted to share this with just Dean for a little bit.

“Not too long. I don’t necessarily want to keep it a secret, like if they find out they find out, but I just want to enjoy just you and me knowing for right now. If that makes any sense.”

“That makes sense. If the moment arises and the timing feels right, we will tell them… Or if we are caught in the act again then we will tell them.” Dean said behind a laugh.

Cas laughed with him and agreed, “Yes that will be fine. Now, how about that shower we were wanting to take?” Cas raised an eyebrow as Dean’s eyes went wide, he nodded quickly as he stood up, pulling Cas with him.

Dean slammed their bodies together, kissing Cas hard. He pushed the button down off Castiel’s arms then his hands flew to the hem of his shirt, grabbing and yanking it over his head. Cas’s reached down and ripped Dean’s shirt off him, hands immediately running up Dean’s chest. They broke apart, breathing heavily as Dean took Cas’s hand and pulled him towards the bathroom. Cas had never been in the master bathroom.

The dark wood floors continued into the room; they had been weather sealed to keep water from warping them. the walls were a light grey with the wall to the right covered in antique dark wood that looked like it came from an old barn. The large double vanity sat against that wall; the wood matched the dark wood of the wall with a large mirror spanning from one sink to the other. The counter was black quarts and had 2 inlayed sinks on either side. At the end of the oversized bathroom stood a standalone oversized tub. It was deep and looked like you could fit a couple people in it. Behind it was a short wall of windows with opened curtains that started white at the top and slowly turned to a dark grey at the bottom. To the left stood the largest shower Cas had ever seen. It was made of all glass with iron inlays in squares. It had 2 waterfall showerheads in the tall ceiling and 2 more showerheads on the back wall. The back wall was black stone with a short built-in bench against it.

Cas barely had time to take in the beautiful bathroom before Dean was on him again, nipping at his neck and pulling him towards the shower. Cas started to strip the rest of the way while Dean reached in and turned on the shower, then rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Cas was the first to step under the hot spray of water, letting it run down his body; Dean followed shortly after. Dean came up behind Cas, hands caressing his sides as he kissed and sucked down the side of his neck. Cas let out a moan and reached his left hand up to rest on the side of Dean’s head. Dean took a step forward and came flush against Cas, grinding his hardening cock against Castiel’s ass.

Cas loved the feeling of Dean behind him, feeling his cock rub against his ass was almost enough to send him over the edge. He was breathing rapidly when Dean suddenly turned him around and grabbed on to his erection, pushing him up against the wall. Cas’s breath caught at Dean’s touch; a low groan escaped his lips. Dean started to pump Cas’s cock slowly, dragging out each stroke while he mapped out Castiel’s neck with his mouth. Dean’s mouth left a trail of hot kisses over Castiel’s collar bone, down his chest and over his stomach. He knelt down in front of Cas, licking his lips and looking up at him as he took his cock in his mouth.

Cas stared down at Dean, eyes wide and pupils blown in pleasure as he threaded his fingers into Dean’s short hair and moaned; head falling against the stone wall.

Dean’s hands snaked around to grab handfuls of Castiel’s ass, holding his hips in place as he sucked his cock slowly, pulling almost all the way off before taking him in to the back of his throat. Dean moaned around Cas’s cock which caused his hips to snap forward slightly, shoving his dick a little farther down Dean’s throat. After a few minutes Cas was shaking, and Dean pulled off with a pop; standing up and bringing Cas in for a kiss. He sensually pulled Cas’s bottom lip between his teeth and whispered in his ear, “Let’s get out of here. I have plans for that ass.”

Dean slapped Cas’s ass as he said this. Cas seemed to melt in Dean’s grip, all body shakes and deep moans. He could do nothing but nod and obey.

Dean reached around him and turned the shower off, then grabbed 2 towels: handing one to Cas.

Cas felt like his brain was complete mush. He didn’t know up from down or right from left currently, and he loved it. He felt drunk on Dean. He couldn’t remember a time when he felt this relaxed and free. He dried himself off out of habit, when he was done Dean had wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and kissing him gently as he walked him back to the bed. Dean slowly lowered him down onto his back, never breaking their kiss. Dean pulled away and placed a finger lightly to Cas’s lips. Cas opened his mouth eagerly, taking Dean’s finger in and wetting it. Dean pulled it away and reached down between their bodies, finding Cas’s hole and slowly pushing in.

Cas let his head fall back as he moans and whispered, “Oh yes, Dean.”

It was Dean’s turn to make love to Cas, he was going to show him just how much he loved him tonight. Dean loved to watch Cas react to the things he was doing to him, it was beautiful. He had never wanted to watch someone’s reactions like he did with Cas. He slowly pumped his finger in and out before adding a second. It slid in with ease and Dean leaned down and bit Cas gently on the nape of his neck.

“I’m going to show you how much I love you Cas… Ready to see what this house is made of?” Dean murmured into Cas’s neck as he pulled his fingers out.

Cas groaned and begged, “Want you so bad Dean. Please.”

Dean reached over and grabbed the lube off the nightstand, pouring some in his hand and rubbing it along his shaft; he threw it to the side and ran his hands down the inside of Cas’s thighs and over his hips; squeezing lightly as he lined himself up and started to push inside him. Dean looked up and locked eyes with Cas.

Cas stared into Dean’s eyes, only closing his when Dean bottomed out. Dean let out a loud moan as he rested his hips against Cas’s, letting him get used to the length of him. A few seconds passed before Cas looked at Dean and gave a slight nod, prompting Dean to start slowly dragging his cock out and pushing back in. Dean has never felt anything like this; it was amazing, sexy and emotional. He was determined to show Cas how much he meant to him.

Dean got into a steady rhythm as he pushed into Cas, every thrust deeper than the last. Dean leaned down and placed his hand on the side of Castiel’s face and the other hand squeezed his thigh as he kissed him fiercely, all teeth and tongue. Things went from slow and sensual to passionate and fast very quickly; the headboard knocking into the wall with the force of Dean’s thrusts. Cas laced his arms around Dean’s back and pull him tight to him as he met his thrusts.

Cas planted his feet on the bed and flipped them; Dean whining a little at the loss of Castiel’s vice grip he had on his cock only to let out the loudest guttural moan as Cas climbed over his legs and impaled himself on Dean’s dick. Dean let out a strained yell as Cas rode his cock hard and fast; Cas groaning in pleasure as Dean met his every move. They had lost the brain capacity to realize how loud they were being but neither seemed to care.

Their thrusts started to get sloppier along with their kisses. Cas broke their kiss and sat up straight, slamming down onto Dean’s cock. Dean was enjoying the view when he decided to take Cas’s abandoned cock in his hand, stroking it in time with their thrusts. Cas sucked in a sharp breath as he looked down at Dean and said, “Yes! Just like that.” His mouth hung open and eyes snapping closed in sheer pleasure. Cas could feel the fire brewing in his stomach as his balls tightened; the sure sign he was about to cum.

That familiar feeling welled up in Dean’s stomach as his cock became impossibly hard; letting him know he was close. he could tell Cas was close and that seemed to stir something inside him.

“That’s it Cas. Cum on my Cock.” Dean grunted as he removed his hand from Cas’s dick and placed both hands on his hips; helping hold him steady as he thrust deeper inside him. The face Cas made sent Dean over the edge; he felt his balls tighten and his cock began to pulse, shooting his load deep inside Cas with a loud, guttural moan. Dean’s words and the feeling of his cock inside him start to pulse pushed Cas over the edge. He came untouched with a raspy moan, painting Dean’s stomach and chest with hot ropes of cum as they rode out their orgasms simultaneously.

Cumming at the same time was something neither one of them had ever experienced and they were both on cloud nine; unable to explain the experience. Cas collapsed on top of Dean, both breathing heavily as they reveled in the feeling of their release.

“That was… Fucking awesome.” Dean panted between deep breaths with a chuckle. Cas picked his head up from his chest to look Dean in the eyes.

“It was. I don’t know how to describe it. I’ve never experienced anything like that.” Cas ran a hand lovingly through Dean’s hair.

“Yeah, me too…. We should clean up before I pass out though.” They both laughed as Cas rolled off him and stood up. they went into the bathroom and got back in the shower. they scrubbed each other clean with Dean’s bodywash. Cas loved the way Dean smelled; he smelled of leather, musk and sandalwood coming from his bodywash or cologne, mixing with a scent that Cas could only describe as just Dean. Once they were done, they dried off and fell into bed; cuddling up around each other.

“Night Cas.” Dean mumbled as he closed his eyes and snuggled into Cas’s neck.

 Cas placed a kiss into Dean’s hair and said, “Goodnight, Dean. I love you.”

“I love ya sweetheart.” Dean replied before they both drifted off to sleep mere seconds later; ecstatic to finally be together.

Chapter Text

Shameless

The morning after Christmas Cas had nowhere to be. He didn’t have to be at the roadhouse until 6 that night for his shift. After they woke up, they went downstairs and had some coffee with Charlie. If she suspected anything, she hid it well. Charlie was leaving that afternoon then she would be back for New Year’s Eve. When they were done with their coffee, Cas followed Dean out to the barn to help him feed the horses and check on the cattle. Cas had never been around horses or cattle before moving here, he loved them both and he was eager to learn as much as possible. He was hoping that in the spring, after the snow had mostly melted, Dean could teach him to ride. After they were done with the barn chores, Cas had pinned Dean against the wall and kissed him for the first time since they woke up. With Charlie in the house, they couldn’t touch the way they both desperately craved too, except for in the privacy of Dean’s bedroom.

That night they all went to the roadhouse for Castiel’s shift. Dean helped behind the bar so he could be as close to Cas as possible without making it too obvious. (They really thought they were hiding it well) Charlie, Sam, Eileen, Ellen, Bobby and Jo were not stupid and they had eyes. Anyone around them could tell that the dynamic and energy between the two of them had changed; even if they weren’t quite sure what exactly was going on.

As the week wore on, getting closer to New Year’s Eve, it became increasingly difficult for Cas and Dean to keep their hands to themselves and not act like they weren’t completely in love with one another. When Charlie left, they were sad to see her go but also glad to have Dean’s house all to themselves again. Cas had to work at the bar and Dean still had to tend to the ranch and put in his hours at Bobby’s garage; forcing them to be separated for several hours at a time. they found the time they were apart to be increasingly difficult to get through now that they officially had each other.

When Dean would show up at the Roadhouse for dinner in the evenings, they would make some excuse (Dean was sure Ellen had figured it out) to go into the storeroom alone so that they could make out for a few minutes. Cas was always a little flustered when he returned to work and caught Ellen and Bobby trying to stifle laughter when he came back out. When his shift was over, the bar closed and cleaned; they would either go up to Castiel’s apartment with the cover of ‘movie night’, or head to Dean’s house under the same cover. They would always end up falling into bed early, movie forgotten, making love late into the night, intent on showing the other how much they loved them.

Now it was New Year’s Eve and Cas was on his way to the airport to pick up Gabriel; he was flying in to spend the holiday and the long weekend with them. New Year’s Eve was a Thursday and Ellen had said they would be closing the bar Friday through Sunday to spend time with family and recover from the inevitable hangover everyone would have. He picked Gabriel up from the busy airport and they stopped to get some lunch in a dinner in Bozeman.

They talked about the weather, how Michael, Anna and their father were and the lawsuit that their mother had tried to file against their father for the company. Cas was surprised to find out that the company was supposed to be divided equally between the three brothers when their father retired, and Naomi wasn’t to have one penny of profit from it. Apparently, Naomi was under the impression that the company was 50/50 in hers and Chuck’s name… Their father was smarter than they all thought. The Case was still on going so everything was being uncovered in pieces. He learned that Michael wanted to have it wrapped up as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t have to speak to their mother again.

Now, they were heading back to the bar so Gabriel could rest, and Cas could get to work. The bar was open today but would be closing at 10pm so the family could visit, drink and watch the ball drop in NY. Gabriel was rambling on about something that Cas wasn’t paying any attention too. He was lost in his own thoughts, considering how to bring up that him and Dean were officially a couple but only Sam and Eileen knew besides Gabe once he told him. Him and Dean had discussed it before he went to pick Gabe up and they decided that it was only fair that Gabe got to know since Sam knew.

Cas figured this was as good a time as any. He was nervous, not because he thought Gabe would react badly; he knew that was going to be the polar opposite. He was nervous that his brother might accidentally say something to the rest of the family, even in a joking manor and everyone would know without him being fully ready. He knew it was ridiculous, but it was a fear.

He took a deep, measured breath and said, “Gabriel, I have something to tell you.”

Gabe stopped his rambling and looked over to Cas who was staring out the front windshield as he drove down the lonely Montana backroads.

“What’s up Cassie?” Gabe asked even though he was sure he knew what Cas was about to tell him.

Cas hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Dean and I are-“ He was cut off by his brother excitedly questioning, “Are you finally boning the eldest Winchester?!”

Cas rolled his eyes as his cheeks flared a bright red. “No… Well- yes. But its more than that.” Cas stumbled but finished quickly.

“It’s about damn time little brother! So do tell! I’ve been waiting for this for almost 4 months, I need answers! Come on, details! Details!” Gabriel begged.

“No, it’s not casual. We are in a relationship now and it’s been great.” Cas said, hoping it was enough detail for his brother.

“Well, that’s great Cas. I’m really happy for you. How did everyone else take it?”

And there was the question he knew his brother would ask that would make this harder. Cas didn’t think Gabe would understand why they wanted to keep it between the two of them and frankly, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep from saying or doing something that would let everyone know. In the back of Castiel’s mind he knew everyone already knows, but he likes to pretend that isn’t the case.

“We- we haven’t told everyone yet.” He quietly admitted.

Gabe looks over at Cas quickly, a look of shock playing across his face. “What? Why the hell not? I mean it was obvious before you got together that you were attracted to one another what with all the eye fucking. I can’t imagine what it’s like now.” Gabe gave a small huff of a laugh. Cas glared at his brother for a moment for his crude remark, though he knew he and Dean did do a lot of “eye fucking” as Gabriel put it.

“If you must know, it’s so new that we just wanted it to be us for a while. Without everyone knowing and making a big deal of things. I’m still scared of the whole situation but having it like this is helping. So please Gabriel, I’m begging you, please don’t say anything to anyone while you are here. Sam and Eileen know but they only found out because Sam walked in on me and Dean making out in the kitchen.”  Cas begged, feeling turn hot once again.

“Heyo my brother getting laid!” Gabe cheered in a singsong voice.

“You’re a child Gabriel.” Cas said a little annoyed.

“Yeah, I know. But seriously, I won’t say anything. Scouts honor.” Gabe gave him a little salute.

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle at his brother’s childishness.

“Gabe you were never a scout… But thank you.”

Gabriel gives a small chuckle, and they continue the trip to the roadhouse talking about mundane things and what was going to happen that evening.

                                              ------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day went by in a whirlwind of beer and loud customers for Cas, and snow, horse and cow shit for Dean. Cas was happy when he saw his friends and family start to trickle in through the front door. He had been manning the bar, Jo was serving the tables and Ellen was in the kitchen keeping the snacks for the customers flowing. They worked as a well-oiled machine, but it was still exhausting. Benny and Andrea were the first to show up, taking a seat at the bar to talk to Cas and wait for everyone else. A few minutes later Charlie came barreling in the door, running around the counter to jump into Cas’s arms. He caught her easily, even with a pint glass still held in his hand from getting Benny a second beer. She hugged Jo then went into the kitchen to see if Ellen needed any help prepping for the family dinner. Cas kept glancing at the clock on the wall, it was getting closer to 7:30 and Dean should be getting there any minute.

Cas was in a conversation with Benny and Andrea, Gabe had come down and was talking loudly to Charlie. Cas looked up at the commotion coming through the front door to find Sam, Eileen and Dean talking and hanging their coats up. Dean looked towards him, and they locked eyes. Cas smiled back to him when Dean sent him a cheeky smile and wink. Cas feels like his knees are about to give out at the sight of what his boyfriend was wearing, but he tries to remain normal. He knows that Dean is aware of his love for that specific flannel and his long bowlegs in ripped jeans and he seems to be taking full advantage of it. When Dean comes around the counter to greet him, he isn’t sure what he is going to do. Cas stands his ground and hopes no one can hear how loudly his heart is beating in his chest as Dean raises his thumb to swipe down Cas’s cheek. Cas tries his hardest not to lean into the touch, but he gives into the urge slightly.

                                                 ----------------------------------------------------------

POV: DEAN

Dean was trying his hardest to get all the things done he needed for the day so he wouldn’t be late to dinner. But if he was late, so were Sam and Eileen since Sam was out working with Dean. Eileen was up at her house cooking some sides for dinner while Sam was out helping Dean doctor a few cows and checking on the few pregnant ones he had. Luckily, they got everything done and the horses fed and comfortable for the night before they needed to head to the bar. Dean was pleasantly surprised when he had enough time to take a shower.

 While he showered, his thoughts were consumed by Castiel, he was happy and singing his heart out while he washed his short hair until something jolted him back to reality and he froze; eyes wide as he stared down at his feet in thought.

“What am I supposed to do at midnight?” He mumbled, a little panicked.

They hadn’t had the time or even thought about what they would do at midnight when everyone who had a partner would kiss. He knew Cas wouldn’t want to kiss in front of everyone and that thought made him kind of sad. It was their first New Years together and he wouldn’t be able to kiss his boyfriend. He finished washing up and made peace with the fact that it would have to wait until next year. The thought of the year ahead with Cas as his boyfriend made him smile; he was determined to spend eternity with Cas. Giving a deep sigh he pulled himself from under the hot, relaxing spray of water and got dressed.

Dean put on a dark blueish grey t-shirt, a dark red, white and blue flannel that was one of Cas’s favorites, and a pair of old, faded and ripped jeans he knew would drive Cas wild; along with the pair of dark brown boots he always wore when he didn’t have his cowboy boots on. He put a little gel in his hair and sprayed cologne on his neck and chest. He smiled and laughed to himself, he knew what he was doing and if he couldn’t kiss his boyfriend on New Year’s Eve, then he planned on torturing him. It was all in good fun, but he knew Cas would catch on quickly and give him that look he found so sexy.

He threw on his jacket and walked out the door.  

                                         -------------------------------------------------------------------------

POV: SWITCH

Dean was pulling into the bar parking lot right as Eileen and Sam were getting out of their car. Dean was all smiles as he walked up to them and threw his arms around each of them as they walked across the parking lot. They walked into the bar find the rest of their friends already crowded around the bar, drinking and laughing as they talked. Dean had been so busy over the last few months he had only seen Benny a handful of times and it had been a while since the last time. Dean hung his coat up and walked over to them, locking eyes with a beaming Cas and sending him a smile and a wink as he brought his hand down on Benny’s shoulder.

“Hey man!” Dean exclaimed as Benny turned around to pull him into a tight hug. He then went to hug Andrea, Charlie, Gabriel and clapped Bobby on the shoulder. He waved at Jo as she passed with a tray full of drinks on their way to a table and walked around the bar to greet Cas. Cas turned towards him; it was evident that it was hard for them both to not launch into each other’s arms. Instead, Dean reached out and swiping his thumb down the side of Cas’s face, causing a shiver to run down Cas’s spine as he tried to control himself.

“Hey Cas.” Dean said quietly with a fond smile. It was obvious he was having a hard time controlling himself as well.

“Hello Dean.” Cas responded, voice cracking a little. “Dean could you help me in the kitchen for a minute?”

“Sure.” Dean nodded. His heart picked up a little, knowing what was in store for the next 5 minutes. They excused themselves from their friends and hurried into the kitchen. Ellen was standing at the sink rinsing some dishes when she spotted them.

“Hey boys.” She called, turning back towards her task to hide the smile on her face.

“Hey Ellen!” Dean waved to her as he followed Cas quickly out the back door.

Once out with the door firmly shut, Cas rounded on Dean, grabbing him by the collar of his flannel and pushing him up against the side of the building, slamming his lips against Dean’s in a heated kiss. When they broke apart, they were both panting, Cas leaned his forehead against Deans as dean’s hands found purchase on Cas’s hips.

“Damn Cas, last person who looked at me like that… I got laid.” Dean quipped with a cocky smile and a raised eyebrow as he nipped at Cas’s bottom lip. Cas glared back but the slight smile on his lips gave away his true feelings. They both knew the last time Dean got laid (last night) was with Cas.

“Don’t tempt me Dean.” Cas growled low in the back of his throat.

Dean loved this side of Cas. Cas was a very gentle person, but Dean was quickly learning that Cas had a dominant side in the bedroom, and he was loving every minute of it. Especially if he could bring it out through teasing like this outside of the bedroom. Cas was getting more comfortable with their relationship and Dean was glad to be part of the reason for this development. It was making Cas more confident in his everyday life as well; something Cas wasn’t sure if he would ever get back. Cas placed a soft kiss on Deans lips before he let go of his shirt and took a few steps back. They both shivered as the cold winter air making itself known as gust blew through the breezeway between the back of the Roadhouse and the shed behind it.

“We should probably head back inside before anyone gets suspicious.” Cas suggested.

“I think we’re a little past suspicion sweetheart.” Dean said breathily.

Cas’s cheeks started to heat at the thought of everyone in the bar knowing they came out there to make out. “I – I know, but I can pretend like it isn’t.” Cas was rubbing the back of his neck.

Dean just chuckled and reached up to move Cas’s hand away from his neck, bringing it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. This pulls a fond smile from Cas as Dean lets his hand go and they head inside. Luckily, Ellen was just finishing up tossing the pork roasts Dean and Bobby had smoked the night before in BBQ sauce. They came through the door and immediately asked if they could help her. Using this as a cover to go back out to the main bar room without having as many knowing looks from Gabriel, Sam and Eileen. Dean carried out the tray that held the meat and buns for the pulled pork sandwiches, while Cas carried out the tray full of fries and the bowl of salad, Ellen followed behind them with the condiments in hand.

No one seemed to have cared that Dean and Cas had snuck away since they came out hauling food. Everyone was starving and they all dug in as Cas grabbed everyone the drinks they preferred.

The early part of the evening went by quickly as the bar started to wind down and customers were slowly leaving. Cas was wiping down the counter when he felt a hand slide over his side and come to rest on his stomach as a warm body pressed against his back and a short, scratchy beard tickled his neck. Cas leaned into the touch without thinking then stiffened, his hand on the counter pausing. His eyes shoot over to the family booth where everyone was sitting and talking. He relaxed a little as he saw that everyone seems to be too immersed in their conversations to notice what they were doing. He feels the rumble of Dean chuckling quietly against his neck as he places a soft kiss over his pulse point.

“It’s ok Cas. They are all too busy to notice.” Dean says as he lays another kiss to the sensitive spot behind Cas’s ear.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Cas sighed, glancing at the table nervously.

 He was starting to feel like it didn’t matter if everyone found out. It was getting too hard to hide the way he feels and watch the way he acts around Dean, and he knew Dean was having a hard time with it as well.

 Dean took a step back and turned Cas towards him, lifting Cas’s chin to look up at him with his forefinger.

“Whenever your ready sweetheart.” Dean whispered and looked over at the table then a quick look around the empty bar before he placed a quick kiss to Cas’s lips. Dean smiled at him and turned to refill his beer.

Over the next 2 hours they all nursed beers while they caught up on what was going on in everyone’s lives, talking about the mundane things and laughing at the funny things that life sometimes threw your way. They all had a few beers, but no one was drunk yet; that would come after the New Year’s ball dropped and the real party started. Now it was about 5 minutes until the ball dropped. Cas and Dean were behind the counter getting tequila shots ready for everyone to take after the ball dropped. They had been having a great time, enjoying the company of their family and friends around them. Dean felt bad that he hadn’t told Charlie about him and Cas but from the wink she had given him at one point when he was staring at Cas, told him she already knew.

 Cas poured the shots and Dean lined them up on the bar top. Charlie handed them both some of the goofy party favors she had brought. She handed Dean a headband that said, ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’ on it in silver and Cas grabbed a headband with stars and the new year ‘2010’ on it in rainbow colors. They laughed at each other lightly then the air turned slightly awkward as the weight of the situation fell around them. They weren’t sure how they were supposed to act when the ball dropped while the three other couples would share a kiss.

They were all crowded around the corner of the bar; Sam and Eileen stood off to the left side, Sam with his arm around her shoulders. Jo was leaning against the end of the bar, Gabriel was sitting in the stool at the end of the bar nursing a beer, Charlie was sitting in the chair next to him bouncing in her seat, Benny and Andrea were in the seats next to her and Bobby and Ellen were standing behind them with their arms wrapped around the others waist. Cas and Dean were still on the serving side of the bar, shifting awkwardly with just a breath of air between.

There was one minute left in 2009 as the New Year’s ball started to drop faster. They risked one more glance at one another, now both facing the tv mounted on the wall, uncertainty written on both their faces before they were counting down the last five seconds with everyone. At the three second mark Dean laced his fingers with Castiel’s and gave a shy smile, no one could see their hands from below the bar counter.

“TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone chorused together.

They were all smiling and toasting their beers as the couples kissed their respective partners. Dean and Cas had both toasted with everyone, all smiles as they looked around at their family. Their eyes came to rest on one another’s faces, Dean was looking at Cas with a fond smile. Cas swallowed hard as the feeling of pure joy and love washed over him.

Suddenly, Cas found himself murmuring, “Fuck it.” Before he launched forward, grabbing the side of Dean face and slamming their bodies together for a passionate kiss.

Dean’s eyes went wide before he settled into the kiss, not caring who was watching as he opened his mouth to let Cas in, the taste of beer on his tongue as he explored the mouth he so desperately wanted to claim as his own. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Behind them they could hear the whoops and hollers of everyone.

Gabriel was whistling loudly, Bobby grumbled “About Damn time idjits.” Jo, Ellen, Andrea and Eileen were all cheering, Sam yelled, “Fucking finally!”, while Benny just chuckled, smiled and shook his head knowingly.

When they finally pulled back, they stared at one another for a long moment just smiling like idiots, Dean’s arms still around Cas’s waist, Cas’s hands still on the side of Dean’s face.

They leaned their foreheads together, still oblivious to everyone around them. “I guess the cats out of the bag now huh?” Dean said with a chuckle.

Cas smiled and nodded. “Guess so love.”

“Time to face the hyenas.” Dean joked under his breath, then both turned to face their family.  

“Well, even if everyone already knew… we are finally officially together.” Cas announced with a smile while still holding one of Dean’s hand. He felt like his face was on fire from what he had just done in front of everyone, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. Dean was smiling ear to ear while squeezing his hand, a silent gesture to ground and reassure Cas.

Everyone came in to give them hugs and congratulations. Ellen saying how proud of them she is and that she loves them, Bobby telling them it was about time they pulled their heads out of their ass’s with a tight hug for both of them; Charlie giving them a big hug with a few stray tears, Jo said that she was glad she didn’t have to watch them look longingly at each other constantly anymore, Benny and Andrea gave them a hug and congratulations, Sam and Eileen saying they were glad it was finally out of the bag and they were happy for them, and Gabriel saying how happy he was for them and told them to try not to break too much furniture. They thanked everyone and made no promises to not make out in front of everyone at any point since everyone now knew. Everyone groaned good naturedly and they all had a laugh.

After the moment died down, they all took their New Year’s shots and Ellen poured out celebratory drinks for everyone when they decided to play some karaoke to get the party started. Dean had a hard time trying to keep his hands to himself and he could see the struggle Cas was going through as well. They really didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable but after a few drinks they decided ‘fuck it’, they could run a loving hand down the others back and give little innocent kisses without much grumbling from anyone.

A little over an hour later, some good and some bad covers of iconic songs from everyone there, and way too many drinks for Cas, he finally got up his nerve to go sing by himself in front of everyone.

Everybody had a good buzz going on, Benny and Andrea had bailed not long after the ball dropped having to go back home since they weren’t staying the night. So that left the only extra people to be Gabriel and Charlie. After having some solo performances done by everyone but Bobby, they started having duets. Sam and Dean sang We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel and could hardly get through the song from laughing so hard. Gabriel and Charlie even did a duet together, singing Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crew. Jo and Charlie sang Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Dean and Charlie sang Uptown Girl. After Dean sat back down next to Cas at the bar, he gave him a peck on the cheek and ran a hand down the other side of his face. This seemed to be all the courage Cas needed (along with the alcohol flowing through his veins) to pick himself up and walk over to the mic for the first time. He flipped through the songs on the small monitor until he found what he was looking for. He wasn’t drunk enough to not remember anything, (he wanted to remember this) just drunker than he normally gets; it was enough for him to get on stage to sing a song to Dean in front of the whole family and his brother. God knows Gabriel will never let him live this one down.

The first cords of Garth Brooks Shameless played through the speakers and Dean’s face visibly reddened; he knew what was coming. Cas took the mic off the stand and took a small step around it as he looked down at his feet, singing the first lines.

                                             Well, I’m shameless when it comes to loving you
                                                             I’ll do anything you want me to
                                                                     I’ll do anything at all

He looked up and locked eyes with Dean, gaining courage and feeling glad he decided to show Dean how he feels through this song.

Dean felt the smile creep up on his face the second Cas said the first word. This was one of his favorite Garth songs and he was excited that Cas chose this song to sing to him; because it was quite obvious by the look in Castiel’s eyes that he had forgotten about the other people in the room watching this performance go down.

                                                And I’m standing here for all the world to see
                                                          Oh, baby that’s what’s left of me
                                                                Don’t have very far to fall

Cas took a step closer to Dean, still leaving plenty of room between them; he gestured to the room as he said these lines of the verse.

                                                     You know now I’m not a man who’s ever been
                                                        Insecure about the world I’ve been living in
                                                             I don’t break easy; I have my pride
                                                                 But if you need to be satisfied
                                                                               I’m shameless

They smiled shyly at each other, Dean fidgeting in his seat with the need to touch and be closer to his boyfriend.

                                                            Well, honey I don’t have a prayer
                                                           every time I see you standing there
                                                                  I go down upon my knees
                                                                         And I’m changing
                                                              I swore I’d never compromise
                                                        Oh, but you convinced me otherwise
                                                                  I’ll do anything you need

Cas took another step, this time looking back down at his feet because these next lines were true for him. He walked away from his family, he never let anyone hold him down once he had the choice and he walked away from a lavish lifestyle to find actual peace and happiness. But he was unable, no matter how hard he tried, he could not walk away from Dean. He needed him like he need air to breathe and water to drink. The craving for Dean was like a never-ending thirst and he loved it now that he could have it. He looked back up to meet Deans eyes quickly so he could see the truth in them.

                                                        You see in all my life I’ve never found
                                                what I couldn’t resist, what I couldn’t turn down
                                                   I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
                                                              But I can’t walk away from you

Cas pointed at Dean and smiled shyly.

                                       I have never let anything have this much control over me
                                                    I’ve worked too hard to call my life my own
                                         And I’ve made myself a world, and its worked so perfectly
                                                           But it sure wont now, I can’t refuse
                                                             I’ve never had so much to lose
                                                                     Oh, I’m shameless!

Cas sang his heart out, putting emphasis on the last 3 words. He swayed to the music as the guitar solo flowed through the speakers. He was really into it and the feelings he’s had for Dean were crashing down around him now that they are not only out in the open with Dean, but also everyone else knowing and accepting them. He feels happy and free and like he is on top of the world. He decides to throw any nerves he had going into this the rest of the way out the window as he closes the few feet between him and Dean; Dean standing to meet him with the biggest grin on his face as he whoops and cheers Cas on as Cas belts out the rest of the song.

                                                You know it should be easy for a man who’s strong
                                                     To say he’s sorry or admit when he’s wrong
                                                       I never lost anything I ever missed
                                               But I’ve never been in love like thiiiisssssss

Cas drawled out the last word and threw his head back, then stood up straight and grabbed Dean’s hand, lacing their fingers together while he sang.

                                                        It’s out of my hands, I’m shameless
                                                             I don’t have the power now
                                                                I don’t want it anyhow
                                                                    So I gotta let it go
                                                                   oh, I’m shameless
                                                            Shameless as a man can be
                                                      You could make a total fool of me
                                                             I just wanted you to know
                                                                  Oh, I’m shameless
                                                              I’m down on my knees
                                                                       Shameless

With the last chords of the song playing, Cas pulled Dean in by the wrist and wrapped his arm around his waist, planting a heated kiss on his smiling lips. Dean chuckled as he opened his mouth to Cas’s begging tongue, tasting whiskey as he let him explore. Cas let out a small moan as Dean’s hands came to rest, one on his ass and one on the side of his neck, pulling them flush together. Behind them they could hear everyone cheering Cas’s performance along with Gabe and Sam yelling for them to get a room. Cas broke their kiss and rested his forehead against Dean’s, trying hard to catch his breath.

“I think that’s what we will do.” Cas looked over and smirked sarcastically to Sam and Gabriel, then sending Dean a cheeky wink. Cas set the mic down on the bar next to Dean.

Dean swallowed hard and let out a shaking breath. His plan with his clothes and cologne had worked and once again, he knew what was coming and he couldn’t wait for it to happen. He let Cas lead him towards the stairs as they thanked Ellen for dinner and everyone for the congratulations again. As they ascended the stairs whistles and comments such as “Don’t break the bed!” and “Keep it down!” Came from several people jokingly. They knew everyone knew what they were going up to Cas’s apartment to do but they couldn’t bring themselves to care. They were so happy to finally be together.

They fumbled through the door and tripped towards the bedroom in a jumble of roaming hands, sensual kisses and flinging clothes. They fell into bed in a state of pure bliss, and they intended to stay there for the rest of the night and into the morning.

Chapter Text

My Next Thirty Years

POV: CAS

The next month went by relatively fast; Cas worked the bar; Dean worked the ranch and at Bobby’s Salvage yard when he had the time. They were finding it more and more difficult to find time together, especially with several of Dean’s cows ready to pop out a baby any minute. Cas was picking up more shifts at the bar under the pretense that Ellen needed the help, and he needed the extra money. Cas could see that Dean was suspicious when he told him, it was hard for him to lie to Dean; everyone knew it, so Ellen stepped in saying they needed the help with Jo now going back to school after Christmas break. In reality Cas was saving up money to buy Dean something that he had wanted for a long time, something he had talked about getting since they met. Cas had spent the last month trying to find a Texas Longhorn cow. Dean’s birthday was January 24^th and Cas had intended on surprising him. Everyone knew about the surprise and with some help from Sam, Cas found the perfect Longhorn.

She was from Texas and had been rescued from an abusive situation. Dean was big into rescue when it came to getting any animal as pets, so this sounded perfect. When Sam brought him the pictures of her before and after rescue, he couldn’t believe what he was looking at. Cas called about her and was able to get her story; A local rescue got a call about cattle on a small lot with no water or food standing in nothing but mud. When the rescue arrived, the condition of the cattle was worse than they had expected. They were all covered in mud and extremely emaciated. This particular heifer had a baby she was trying to care for, and she was aggressive towards anyone that came near her or her baby. She and her baby were to last the be taken from the property and they had to sedate her to get her into the trailer. Once she was at the rescue with her baby and had food and water; she came around to her caregivers and realized they weren’t going to hurt her. They cleaned her up and gave her all the medical care she and her calf needed.

That had been 2 years ago and now that she was fat, happy, and her calf had gone to a good home, it was her turn. She had turned into a lover of humans and often thought she was a large dog. Cas thought she would fit in perfectly with Dean’s herd considering all his heifers thought they were giant lap dogs. It took some convincing and someone had to come out to Dean’s ranch to make sure it was suitable, but Cas finally was able to get them to agree that they would be a more than satisfactory home for her. With the help of Sam and Eileen distracting Dean, Cas was able to have the rescue representative come out to check out the pastures and barn without having to create a cover. The rescue had grown attached to her, so her adoption fee was quite high, but Cas was able to pay it with no problem. It was the transport truck he was having to save for. They would be here the morning of Dean’s birthday; thankfully that was a Sunday so they would be at the ranch lazily hanging around the house.

Now it was Saturday the 23^rd, the day before Dean’s birthday and Cas was getting the final preparations ready with Ellen for the party that night. He had talked to the transport truck hauling the longhorn and they would be getting into the ranch about 11am the next day. It was going to be perfect, and Cas couldn’t wait for it. The best part was that Dean didn’t suspect a thing.

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POV: DEAN

Dean was falling deeper and deeper in love with Cas as the next month unfolded, his birthday was just around the corner, the next day to be exact and he had just realized that he had no idea when Cas’s own birthday was. He knew they were the same age, but he had no idea what day or month it was. Somehow it never seemed to have come up. He had decided that he was going to find out so he could celebrate Cas in the same way Cas was fixing to celebrate him.

Dean was a little suspicious of why Cas had picked up more shifts at the bar, he hadn’t completely believed what he had told him because Cas couldn’t lie to him for shit; but he figure it had something to do with his birthday, so he left it alone. It was making it harder for them to see each other though, Cas still technically lived at the bar but spent as much time as possible at Dean’s house. The way Dean saw it, there was no reason for Cas to keep the apartment when he was already rarely there. Even when Cas would work late nights at the bar, if he wasn’t too tired, he would still make the drive to the ranch to sleep with Dean. Cas would come in and crawl into bed at 2am after a long night and curl himself around his snoring boyfriend. Dean would have to get up at the ass crack of dawn the next day, though he loved waking up to Cas latched onto him. Dean would slowly get out of bed before the sun rose and kiss Cas on the forehead before he when to start his workday. Between their opposite schedules, they hardly ever got to see each other during the day unless Dean drove to the roadhouse for lunch or Cas brought lunch out to him. The only time they got to spend together was Saturday evening and Sundays. Even then, the cows and horses still needed to be tended too.

Dean saw no reason for Cas to keep coming back to the bar apartment when they already spent so much time at the ranch. He didn’t know if it would be too soon, but he was planning on asking Cas to move in with him officially. He would understand if Cas thought it was to soon and he would respect that, but he really hoped he would say yes. Dean was tired of not spending every night with Cas and he was tired of not waking up with him in his bed every morning. He just wanted to have all of Cas all the time. He had never wanted his birthday to be over as soon as possible so that Cas would hopefully go back to working a more normal schedule. He had no idea what Cas had up his sleeve and no one in the family would talk when he asked them all about it, so he was left with his mind to sift through the possibilities. He was throwing himself into his work hoping to keep his mind off it until that night when they would have his party.

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POV: CAS

“Ellen! – Ellen!” Cas called from where he was standing on top of the bar trying to hang a banner that read ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAN!’ on it.

Ellen came through the kitchen door, “What’s up Cas?”

“Was that the bakery on the phone?” Cas asked as he placed the last piece of tape and jumped off the counter.

“Yeah, they said the pie is done and the cake will be done in about an hour. You should have plenty of time to pick them up before the party.” She said with a smile.

She knew how hard Cas had worked on this party and how much he was looking forward to showing Dean how much everyone appreciated him.

“Ok great. Can you and Jo handle the rest of the set up while I run out and grab the painting?” Cas asked, wanting to make sure he didn’t need to hang around and finish up.

“We got it darlin. You go grab the cake, pie and that picture and we will take care of everything else here.” Ellen smiled, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Cas looked at her with a fond smile and then pulled her into a tight hug. She had been more of a mother to him in the short few months he had known her than his own mother or anyone else had ever been. She genuinely loved him as one of her own.

“I’ll be back soon.” He said as he pulled away and grabbed his jacket off a high-top table next to the bar. He headed out to his truck with a huge smile on his face.

He drove the short distance to the local artists house that he had hired. Garth Fitzgerald had a good reputation as an amazing realistic painter, the best in the state for that matter. Cas had his doubts until he saw his work firsthand and he hired him immediately.

In the beginning of winter, when there were a few feet of snow on the ground, Cas often found himself out in the pastures while Dean worked or on the weekends when he would come over, taking pictures of the horses, cattle and any other animal that would pose for him. He had an old camera his father gifted him when he was a teenager and his favorite animal to photograph was Dean’s horse Zeppelin. Anytime the horse saw Cas with the camera he would pose, ears pricked forward, nostrils blown, eyes wide and inviting. Cas had several favorites, but one stood out to him that he was having painted.

It was on a cold, snowy day; Dean was sitting atop Zeppelin looking out over his cattle. You could see the air coming out of Dean’s mouth as he smiled subconsciously at the job that he loved so much. He had on his leather jacket and his cowboy hat; Zeppelin was pawing at the ground and snorting, his long main blowing in the cold wind and his long forelock falling over his eyes. Dean had no idea Cas had taken the photo; it was beautiful, and Cas couldn’t wait to pick up the painting of it. He knew Garth would make it look stunning. There was one more surprise that Cas was picking up for Dean, but he would have to give it to him in private….

 Two weeks prior to Dean’s birthday, on a day when Dean was at the garage all day working with Bobby; Cas had a photographer come out and take boudoir photos of him with Zeppelin and the Impala. He wasn’t planning on using the Impala as well, but Dean had taken his truck to the shop to do some work on it by chance. Cas had gotten a photo book with around 30 different photos of different poses with Zeppelin and the car, he had one particular photo blown up and put on a piece of canvas the same size as the painting Cas was getting. He was planning on playing a little prank on Dean. Cas smiled to himself as he thought about the reaction he would get out of him.

Once he had collected the painting and paid Garth, he headed to the photo studio that had taken the boudoir photos to grab the canvas and photobook. After that he ran to Dean’s favorite bakery to grab the cake and apple pie for the party. He ran by the local grocery store and grabbed some wrapping paper to wrap the painting and photo. He wrapped the photo first and set it in the backseat of his truck, then he wrapped the painting. He was parked in front of the bar; it was almost time for the party. He grabbed the cake, pie and wrapped painting and went inside. Inside, the bar had a blue tablecloth over it with all of Dean’s favorite snacks. Ellen met him at the door and took the pie from him to put in the fridge for Dean to take home later. It was getting close to 7 and Dean would be here soon. Cas ran up to his apartment to shower and change.

 Ever since Cas moved to Montana, he had decided to grow some facial hair. He felt like it was getting a little long so he decided to trim it up so he would look presentable when he took birthday pictures with Dean.

He and Dean both liked his beard, so he didn’t shave, he just cleaned it up a little into long stubble. Once showered, he pulled on a pair of jeans, a soft forest green shirt and a leather jacket along with his boots. He tried to tame his wild sex hair (as Dean called it), but not much was able to be done. He brushed his teeth one last time. With a look at his watch, he saw it was 6:30. Just enough time for him to make sure everything was perfect for the party before Dean got there. He was walking towards the door when it was flung open. The first thing he saw was Dean with a scarf covering his eyes and Sam behind him, guiding him in the room as Dean grumbled and cursed as he tripped over his own feet.  

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POV: SWITCH

Dean ended up throwing himself so far into working on a clients 65 Ford Mustang with some Styx playing loud in the background that he didn’t hear Bobby come walking up behind him.

“Dean.” Bobby said then, “Dean!” he called louder. Still no response came from Dean, he was still singing and moving his head to the music. “HEY IDGIT!” Bobby practically screamed this time, knowing he would be herd over the music.

 Dean started, slamming his head into the hood as he jumped about a foot off the ground. Bobby just chuckled as he took a pull of his beer.

Dean rolled his eyes and ran his hand over the sensitive spot where he hit his head, checking for blood. “Goddamn it Bobby! Warn a guy!”

“I did, you didn’t hear me.” Bobby deadpanned, still laughing.

Dean was still grimacing as he wiped his hands of grease on the towel in his pocket and closed the hood.

“What’s up Bobby?”

“Why don’t you look at that fancy watch of yours and you tell me.” Bobby pointed towards Deans watch.

Dean had a constipated look on his face when he lifted his watch to his eyes.

“Son of a bitch! I’m going to be late for my own fucking party!” Dean cursed when he realized it was half an hour past when he needed to leave the salvage yard. He started pulling off his coveralls, tripping and almost falling flat on his ass as Bobby rolling his eyes and continued to laugh as he turns to walk away.

Once he got those damn coveralls off, he washed as much grease off his hands as he could get, then pulled his jacket on and headed to the roadhouse. He knew he had something decent to wear in Cas’s apartment. He had always stored extra clothes there even before Cas moved in since he used to find himself falling asleep drunk on the couch so often. He sprinted to the Impala and headed towards the bar.

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Dean pulled in to find Sam unloading some things from Eileen’s car; everyone seemed too already be there. He parked and started to walk towards the door when Sam came running over to step right in his path, blocking the door.

“Woah, woah, woah! You aren’t supposed to be here yet.” Sam said holding up a hand in front of him to stop Dean from walking.

“Move it Samsquatch! Lost track of time and I need to go shower.” Dean barked gruffly.

Sam gave him his typical bitchface but ignored the usual nickname as he tried to get his brother to listen to him. “Dean you can’t go in there. Cas has worked really hard to make this party special and he wants to make sure everything is perfect before you see it.”

“Well, I need to shower so I’ll just look at my feet while I walk to the stairs.” Dean said in a hurried voice, this was wasting time.

“No…” Sam paused for a minute, thinking. “Hold on!” he exclaimed before running back to Eileen’s car. Dean rolled his eyes as he waited for Sam to come back. Sam dug through the car for a moment before pulling a red scarf out and walking back over to him with a triumphant smile on his face.

Really…  Is all Dean could think. The only reason he was going to go with any of this was because he knew Cas had worked hard on everything and he wanted to make him happy. “You know I could just cover my eyes with my hand and feel my way to the stairs.”

Sam laughed and thrust the scarf towards Dean, “I don’t trust you not to peak. Now put it on and I’ll help you get up the stairs. I think Cas is still up there getting ready himself.”

“Ugh, fine.” Dean grumbled, taking the scarf and wrapping it around his face. “Ok, lead the way. If you make me run into anything on purpose, I’ll kill you myself.” Dean was pointing where he thought Sam was still standing but Sam was already behind him. Dean jumped when he rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Jesus! How the fuck are you so quiet for being such a moose.” Dean barked indignantly.

Sam just laughed and stated, “Years of practice playing paintball with you.”

Dean snorted, knowing it was true. They played paintball throughout their childhood and teen years and now, no one would play paintball with them anymore because both were deadly quiet and always won.

Sam started to steer him through the door and towards the steps, they started to ascend the steps when Dean began to complain that he could take the scarf off. Sam pushed him up the steps, saying he had to wait till he was safely in the apartment. Dean busted through the door in his haste to get the scarf off, tripping over his own feet as he went.

                                     _________________________________________________

“Dean!” Cas yelped in surprise; shock written on his face as Dean lowered the scarf.

“Heyya sweetheart!” Dean said beaming at his boyfriend.

“What are you doing here so early?” Cas asked as he walked over to him and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

Dean handed the scarf back to Sam then turned back to Cas, “I lost track of time at the garage and didn’t have time to go home to shower. I didn’t want to be late, so I came to shower here. Don’t worry I didn’t see anything. Sam made me wear this so there was no chance of me peaking.” Dean chuckled lightly.

 Sam had disappeared through the door after he took the scarf back, closing it behind him.

“Go shower so you aren’t late for your own party. I must go make sure everything is ready. Don’t come down until exactly 7.” Cas said, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Dean threw his hands up in mock defense and chuckling. “You can count on me Cas.”

“Good boy.” Cas said quietly as he patted Dean’s cheek gently, giving him a cocky grin and a wink as he left the apartment.

A shiver ran down Dean’s spine as Cas’s words went straight to his dick. He had to shake his head to pull himself from the fantasy his mind was creating. There would be plenty of time for that later. He focused his mind on showering and getting ready.

After he showered, he cleaned up his short beard knowing pictures would be taken, then he opened the closet to see what he had left here. Luckily there actually were clothes of his here. He pulled on a white Henley and a greyish green button down over It, a pair of dark jeans and his boots. He went back into the bathroom to brush his teeth and throw some gel in his hair, styling it the usual way. He looked down at his watch to find that it was exactly 7pm. He smiled and turned on his heels, heading for the door to go down to the bar. He couldn’t wait to see what Cas had up his sleeve.

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 “I’m coming down!” Dean yelled as he stomped down the stairs.

When he got to the bottom, he was met by all his friends and family and a chorus of, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” and cheering.

It stopped him dead in his tracks when he reached the bottom. He hadn’t expected this. At first there was shock, then, slowly a wide smile played across his face. He couldn’t believe that Cas had pulled this off. All of his friends and family were there. Of course, there were Sam, Eileen, Ellen, Bobby, and Jo, but Cas was also able to get Charlie, Benny, Andrea and even Donna was there. Right as he was starting to take a step to greet everyone that was there for him, someone tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to see who it was, a feeling of pure shock and then immediate joy washed over him.

He was sure it was evident on his face as he exclaimed, “Jody!?”

He lifted the short, smiling, middle aged woman into his arms and spun her around. He set her down as she lifted a hand to his face.

“It’s been too long Dean.” She said with a fond smile.

“Hell yeah it has! How- what- what are you doing here?” Dean asked, still smiling widely.

Jody was the sheriff who was on his and Sam’s case when Ellen and Bobby were trying to get custody of them. She had been doing check-ins with John and the boys before that. She had taken interest in them after a bar owner who knew John Winchester called the sheriff's office to report that he had been staying at the bar all night and leaving the boy’s home. She had gotten into many fights with John and arrested him once when he came home drunk after she dropped by the house to make sure he was where he was supposed to be. When John had come home, and she told him that she was going to report him as part of her job. He swung at her, and she arrested him. That was the night that Bobby and Ellen learned how bad it was. She was the only person Dean would talk to for 6 months after that. She helped them through the whole ordeal and kept in touch with them all since then. she, along with Ellen, was like another mother to them both, coming to birthday parties and graduations.

“Your sweet boyfriend here got my number from Ellen, and we spent several hours talking. He invited me to come to your birthday party. He even paid for my flight, wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She explained looking over at Cas. Cas smiled shyly and looked down at his feet for a second. She leaned in close to Dean and whispered, “You got a good one there kid. I like him… Don’t fuck it up.” She said teasingly.

“Yeah, he’s… He’s great isn’t he. And I’m really glad you’re here. Means a lot.” Dean beamed.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now go enjoy this party Cas put on for you!” She said as she pushed him in the direction of everyone else and into Cas’s waiting arms.

Cas caught him and Dean leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Thank you, Cas. this is awesome.”

“Of course, Dean. I would do anything for you.” They smile at each other for a moment before Dean went around to greet the rest of his guests. He took a shot with Benny and Charlie, and he greeted Donna with a bear hug. She told him how happy she was that he and Cas were finally together. She also thanked him for the extra hundred dollars she won from Sam that night in the club. Dean threw his head back in laughter as Sam flipped him off jokingly.

 The night was going well, the drinks were flowing, music was playing from the jukebox, and the food was great. All of Dean’s favorite snacks were there on the bar; chips and queso, bacon, fried pickles, and fries to name a few. After about an hour of good conversation and good food, Cas brought out the cake. It was a replica of the Impala and Dean absolutely loved it. They sang happy birthday and Dean blew out the big 3 1 candles on it. Cas took a picture of Dean with the cake before they cut into it. He told him he had an apple pie for him to take home all to himself. A few minutes before Dean was supposed to open his presents, Cas came up behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist while the other hand was holding his beer and rested his chin on his shoulder. Dean leaned into him as he talked with Jody and Donna. Cas waited for them to finish their conversation before he whispered in his ear that he had something in his truck he wanted to show him.

They snuck away from everyone and went out to the parking lot where Castiel’s truck was at. He opened the back passenger door and pulled out the large, wrapped photo and handed it to Dean. Dean took it with a smile and started to unwrap it. Once he pulled the paper off and revealed the photo, his mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide as he stared down at it. Cas just smiled wickedly and chuckled at his reaction. it was Castiel’s favorite photo from the boudoir shoot. He was laying across the hood of the Impala, staring off in the distance, one hand supported his weight on the hood, the other hand settled close to his crotch; he was clad only in his tightest black underwear, his favorite blue tie and his trench coat.

Dean sucked in a deep breath that caught in his throat. He couldn’t stop staring down at the photo of the person he loved sitting on the car he adored. His brain had short circuited, and he couldn’t think straight, until Cas’s laughter pulled him from his thoughts. It was then that he realized his jeans were beginning to feel a little tighter. He finally pulled his gaze to look at Cas who was smiling widely at him.

“Cas… When did – how did…?” Dean started but was unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Two weeks ago, when you went to work at the garage, I had a boudoir photographer come take the pictures. I was only going to use Zeppelin but when you left the Impala, I decided to use it as well. Here.” Cas explained, handing Dean the photobook full of all the other pictures. “You can look at these later. They are the rest of the pictures. That one was just one of my favorites. Your horse loves to pose for the camera too by the way.” Cas said as he took the canvas from Dean’s hands and put it back in his truck.

“Wow Cas. I don’t know what to say other than I fucking love it.” Dean pulled Cas in for a passionate kiss to show him his thanks.

“Your welcome Dean. I’m glad you like it.” Cas smiled as they pulled apart.

“I’m hanging that up as soon as we get home.” Dean gave him a cheeky smirk. “That way I can see it when I wake up every morning.”

Cas rolled his eyes playfully as joy consumed his heart. “We should get back before everyone misses us.” Cas took Dean’s hand in his.

They head back inside the bar, no one seemed to have cared that they snuck away for a moment. The night continued until it was time for Dean to open the few presents that were brought. He opened the gift from Charlie to find another pair of his favorite brand of underwear; this time they had a tiger face on them with trees as the background. They all had a laugh from that one. Sam gifted him a weekend of his choosing when he and Eileen would take care of the horses and cattle and Dean and Cas could do whatever they pleased without interruption. Jody brought him a bottle of fancy whiskey, and Ellen and Bobby gave him a new leather wallet to replace the one that was falling apart. On the right corner of the wallet were his initials, D.W. engraved into the leather. Finally, came the last present. Dean swallowed hard as he realized it was from Cas and was the same size and shape of the picture Cas had given him in the parking lot. Dean chuckled nervously as he tried to delay opening it.

Cas leaned down and whispered in his ear in a deep, commanding voice he knew Dean wouldn’t disobey, “Open it Dean.”

It sent a shiver down Dean’s spine as he took a deep breath and proceeded to tear the paper. He was shocked to find that it wasn’t a photo at all, but rather a painting. A painting of him on his horse with snow coming down around them, you could see the breath coming from both Dean’s smiling mouth and Zeppelin’s nostrils as he pawed the snow-covered ground. He looked up to see Cas handing him a standard sized picture. He took it and saw that it was the same picture as the painting. He looked up, searching Cas’s face for answers as his mouth hung open in pleasant surprise.

Cas answered him without Dean having to ask a single question, as the painting was taken from him and passed around the crowd.

“I took that picture a little over a month ago, one day when I was out taking pictures of the trees and other animals. I took it right when I arrived, before you realized I had gotten there. I found an artist not long after who was willing to paint it for me.” Cas revealed with a shrug and shy smile.

“Cas….” Dean found his words caught in his throat at the emotions that were threatening to spill over. All he could do was stand and pull Cas into the tightest hug he had ever given anyone. He had no words that could describe how much a present like that meant to him; he simply whispered, “Thank you.” and buried his face deep in Cas’s neck as he felt one single tear fall from his eye.

“I love you Dean… more than you will ever know.” Cas said, voice low and emotion filled. Dean could hear the weight, the love and emotion the words carried for him.

They stayed like that for a while longer before Dean felt composed enough to face everyone again. They continue to drink and snack on the food that was out until about 11 pm. Slowly, everyone started to head home, wishing Dean another happy birthday as they went. Finally, the only person left that wasn’t immediate family was left. Jody was staying in Castiel’s apartment since he would be at Dean’s for the next 2 days. She bid them goodnight before heading up to the apartment. Dean and Cas helped Ellen, Bobby and Jo clean up while Sam and Eileen did the dishes. It wasn’t long before they were all heading home for the night. Cas and Dean bid the others goodbye as they grabbed the blown-up photo from Cas’s truck and loaded up into the Impala.

They made it back to the ranch and were greeted by a bouncing Miracle as usual. The first thing Dean did was find the perfect spot in the living room for the painting of him and Zeppelin. Once he was happy with the placement, they headed upstairs to the master bedroom. there was an empty spot on the wall above the dresser that Dean hadn’t figured out what to put there yet, it would be the perfect spot. After Cas helped him hang it, Dean thanked him again. It was 12:30am by the time they finally fell into bed, all wondering hands and whispered words as they made love late into the night, only to fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms; happy, sated and exhausted from pleasure.

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Cas awoke only a few hours after their love making session ended. He wanted to make Dean breakfast so they would be done eating by the time the Longhorn arrived. He stretched, kissed Dean on the forehead and used the bathroom and brushed his teeth before he headed downstairs; Miracle hot on his heals. He rummaged through the fridge until he found what he was looking for. Deciding to make breakfast tacos, Cas got to work. A few minutes later, there was bacon sizzling in a pan and hashbrowns cooking in another pan. Cas let Miracle out and turned on some music over the speaker in the kitchen. An array of queen songs flowed through the speakers as Cas danced and cooked.

Dean stirred and groaned as the smell of cooking bacon assaulted his nose. He rolled on his back, reaching above his head to stretch his constantly sore muscles. When he cracked an eye open he was met with the sight of that boudoir photo hanging over the dresser. He lets out a half laugh half groan.  He stood up and sifted through the clothes on the ground from the last few nights, searching for a pair of old sweats. Once he found them, he pulled them on and went into the bathroom.  It was going to be a great day to have a birthday. Other than going out to feed and check the horses and cattle, him and Cas had nothing pressing to do. As Dean walked out of the bedroom and into the hall, he could hear music coming from downstairs. He smiled to himself, picking up his pace as he came down the stairs. He was glad Cas felt comfortable in his home, especially with the question he was going to ask him over dinner tonight lingering in the back of his mind.

The scene Dean walked into the kitchen to find made the feeling in his chest grow more than it already had over the past month, Cas was singing and swaying his hips to the music in a pair of grey sweats that were clearly Dean’s by the way they clung slightly to tight to Cas’s thick thighs. This made Dean’s mouth water as he walked over to him. Cas looked up and greeted Dean with a smile, turning around before he was able to get to him and grabbing something off the opposite counter. When he turned back around, he handed Dean a cup of coffee in his favorite mug that said ‘IN THIS HOUSE, WE LOVE COCK’ with a rooster in the middle and the letters around it. It was a horrible joke, but it made Dean laugh because, well, it was true.  

Dean took the mug with a smile and a firm smack to Castiel’s ass. Cas chuckled and leaned into kiss him after Dean took his first sip of what he so fondly called ‘his lifeline’, ‘the very thing that runs through his veins instead of blood’, or ‘the elixir of life’. He was dramatic when it came to his coffee. Dean leaned against Cas’s back as he cooked, turning into a giant purring cat. Once Cas was done cooking, they filled their plates and sat down at the island.

“Happy birthday Dean.” Cas said around a mouthful of breakfast taco.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean smiled at him as he took the first bite, then asked, “Hey, I realized the other day that out of everything we’ve talked about, I don’t know when your birthday is.”

Cas stopped chewing and considered Dean for a second, then answered, “I thought we had discussed it before.”

“Nope. So, when is it? I mean, I know you’re the same age as me, but I don’t know what day or month you were born on.” Dean took a sip of his coffee as he waited for Cas to answer him.

“September 18^th, 1979.”

Cas let a small smile cross his face as he watched Dean try to do mental math with a constipated look on his face. Cas thought he looked adorable and couldn’t resist the urge to tease his boyfriend.

“Don’t think too hard and give yourself an aneurism.” Cas joked with a chuckle.

Dean glared at him for a second before a quiet laugh escaped his lips and his cheeks reddened as he said, “Mental math was never my strong suit.”

“What were you thinking about?” Cas asked, placing his hand on Dean’s thigh. Cas did this often when they were sitting next to each other.

 Dean was a very physical and tactile person already with Cas; small touches here and there, sitting slightly to close so their hips were touching, making excuses to help behind the bar so he could be within arm's reach of Cas and so he could brush up against Cas when he passed him…. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to Cas’s touch, to being able to openly touch or be touched in the way he’s longed to for so long.

It makes his breath hitch in his throat before he gathers himself and says, “Wasn’t that the day you arrived here? the day I literally knocked you on your ass?”

The memory brought a full body laugh from Cas’s chest as he threw his head back in laughter. He thought about that night occasionally, it always brought a smile to his face. “Yes, yes it was my birthday when I ran into you.”

Dean grinned at him as he questioned, “Why did you move on your birthday? Didn’t you want to celebrate it?” Dean put the last bite of taco in his mouth and picked up his cup of fresh orange juice.

Cas sighed before answering, “Birthdays were never something I looked forward too. Like I’ve said before, they were never about us. They were just another social affair for my mother to show off.”

Dean’s face fell a little at the sadness he felt for Cas. “Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Did you do anything before you left though? I mean, it was your 30^th birthday. That’s kinda big.”

Cas just shrugged. “Me, Gabriel and an old friend, Balthazar went out the night before I left. We had a nice dinner and some drinks but that’s about it.”

“That’s kinda sad. Did anyone tell you happy birthday?” Dean asked, his heart breaking a little more.

“Besides my brother and friend, my father sent me a text and a card with a check like he had every year since I cut ties. I guess it was his way of trying to hold onto me without my mother finding out. But nothing from my mother if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Damn that’s cold of her. Don’t worry Cas. This year, we are celebrating you properly!” Dean said triumphantly.

Cas shook his head and laughed a shyly. He knew there was going to be no way around it so he might as well prepare himself now. “Thank you, Dean.” Was all he said before finishing his taco and downing the last of his coffee.

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They spent the remainder of the morning doing the dishes then heading out tend to the horses and cattle. It went by quickly with both working efficiently. Cas had been helping Dean for so long that he had each horse’s feed and supplement routine down to a T. With that said, Dean was mucking out the stalls while Cas fed the horses their feed and hay, then he started loading the hay onto the 4wheeler they used to haul hay out to the pasture for the cows. Once Dean was done, he helped Cas load the last of the hay bales before they got onto the 4wheeler and went to feed the cows. Cas kept looking down at his watch, wanting to make sure they wouldn’t be taken by surprise when the truck pulled up.

They were back at the barn, putting away the 4wheeler when Cas got a call from the driver. He was letting him know he was pulling into the driveway. Cas thanked him and hung up.

“Who was that?” Dean asked distractedly.

“Oh, wrong number.” Cas took a step closer to Dean and turned him to face him. This way, Dean’s back was to the driveway so he wouldn’t see the truck coming.

“What’s up Cas?” Dean had a concerned look on his face. Cas decided to give him a reassuring smile. He hadn’t thought this far ahead and now that they were here in this moment and the truck was almost there; he wasn’t sure what to say.

He took a deep breath and started, “Dean. Um – I… well, I….” at that moment the truck rounded the corner, making itself known with the crunch of gravel under the tires, the rumble of the engine and the metal of the trailer clanking with every pothole in the driveway. Dean noticed the sound and turned to see the truck and trailer coming.

He turned back to Cas, a confused look on his face as he said obliviously, “Huh, they must be lost.”

Cas took this opportunity to say, “No, it’s in the right place.” He laughed a little.

Dean eye Cas suspiciously for a moment. “Ok Cas, spill it because I’m lost.  Did Sam buy some weird animal or something?”

Cas smirked, “No. You have one more birthday present from me.” Cas gestured to the trailer coming to a stop about 20 yards from them.

“What did you do Cas?” Dean asks, though he could see the excitement now on Dean’s face.

“Why don’t you go find out.” Cas turned him around and gave him a light push towards the front of the truck where the driver was coming around to greet them.

“Dean Winchester?” The man asked with a polite smile.

“That’s me.” Dean shook the man’s hand.

“Sign here.” the man said, handing papers and a pen to Dean.

“What am I signing for?” Dean asked even though he fully trusted Cas and was already signing the papers.

Cas stood a few feet behind Dean with the biggest grin on his face, waiting for him to finish.

“That top one is ownership papers, and the last one is the receiving slip. Let’s the rescue know you received the animal.” The man answered.

Dean finished signing and handed the papers back to the man. He took them then handed him a manila envelope. Cas knew these to contain all the information on the longhorn, registration papers and what not, along with a copy of the ownership papers he just signed.

Dean took it and the man spoke before leading the way to the back of the trailer, “I have strict instructions to only say.” The man paused before he opened the trailer door. “Happy birthday Mr. Winchester.”

And then the trailer door opened, and Dean’s jaw dropped in shock. Cas was very grateful to the driver for going along with what he had asked him to say the day before when they spoke.

Cas stood close to Dean with a hand at the small of him back, he leaned in and whispered, “Happy birthday Dean.”

“Cas what – How did?” Dean was stammering between looking at the longhorn in the trailer and Cas.

“Don’t just stand there, go get her out and show her around her new home!” Cas gave Dean a little shove again towards the trailer.

Dean walked in the trailer and opened the divider gate, untying her and leading her out. She knew exactly how to maneuver her large horns to get out of the trailer. She was huge, bigger than Cas had expected; she was black and white and reminded Dean of cookies and cream ice cream. Once out of the trailer, she nuzzled and pushed her head against Dean’s side; he instantly fell in love with her, scratching her head and smiling like crazy.

They walked around for a while after the truck left, Dean was showing her around, talking to her and showing her pasture she would eventually go into. They ended up taking her into the barn and putting her into the oversized foaling stall Dean had built in case he ever had a pregnant mare and for his pregnant cows if he needed it. Dean gave her hay and everything she needed.

They headed inside where, once they had rid themselves of their boots and jackets; Dean crowded Cas against the front door and kissed him fiercely, trying to put all his emotions into the kiss to show how much he appreciated Cas. They ended up in Dean’s room, stripping one another of their clothes as they fell into the bed, Dean determined to worship Cas with his mouth in an effort to show much he is loved.

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Dinner time rolled around, Cas insisting on cooking since it was Dean’s birthday. After some insisting from Cas, Dean finally relented, plopping himself on a barstool at the island so he could talk to Cas while he cooked. This was the first time Cas cooked an actual meal for Dean that wasn’t breakfast. He was nervous but confident in the meal he was making. He made chicken fettuccine Alfredo; something he often made for himself when he was in NY, and he knew Dean liked it. He finished up the bread and plated their dinner, pouring them each a glass of wine that went well with the meal. Dean wasn’t big on wine, but he was willing to try anything Cas gave him, and he found he genuinely liked this wine.

As they ate, the conversation flowed naturally like it always had; talk of the ranch and bets on when Sam and Eileen might have a kid was the main conversation. When they were finished, they did the dishes together while listening to some music, Dean bumping his hip into Cas’s occasionally, causing a laugh to burst forth from his chest. They then went to the barn to tend to the horses and check on the longhorn again. after that they come back inside and changed into some sweats, Cas grabbed a couple beers and pops some popcorn while Dean starts the fire and flips through their movie options. Dean settles on the first Lord of the Rings, Cas coming over with the popcorn and beer and settles down between Dean’s legs as Dean is stretched out across the couch.

They are about halfway through the movie when Dean decides that this is the best time to ask Cas to move in with him. He loves that they tend to fall into this same rhythm every time they stay together, and Dean doesn’t want to spend another night apart, not doing exactly what they are currently doing.

Dean takes a deep breath to try to slow his racing heart as he says, “Hey Cas, I got something I want to ask you.”

Cas shifts so the that he is sitting up and able to look Dean in the eyes. He smiles warmly and says, “What’s on your mind Dean?”

“I know what I’m about to ask you might be too soon for you, and that’s ok.”

“Dean.” Cas interrupted but Dean shoved on. “If you need time to think about it that’s fine too.”

Dean.” Cas said a little louder.

Still Dean pressed on, not hearing Cas through his slight panic.

“I just don’t want to rush you or push you into anything and…”

“Dean!” Cas said just under a yell, placing his hand on Dean’s left shoulder.

Dean finally stopped his panicked rambling and sucked in a breath he didn’t realize he needed.

Cas smiled softly and said, “Take a breath and say whatever you want to ask me. I promise there will be no bad reaction.” Cas had an idea of what Dean might want to ask him and frankly he thought he would never ask. He was tired of not spending all his evenings with Dean, but he wasn’t sure if Dean would be ready yet. Now he knows he is, and he just can’t wait for it to be official. He loves Dean and this is just the next step in solidifying that love. Even if it is a little terrifying.

Dean let out a breathy laugh and finally asked, “Cas will you move in with me? I don’t want to spend another night apart not doing exactly what we are doing now.” Dean held his breath as he waited for an answer.

“Of course, I’ll move in with you. Honestly, I’m tired of not being with you every night as well and would love to share a home with you.” Cas had the biggest smile play across his face, the kind that makes his nose crinkle and his eyes squinty. Dean thinks its adorable and audibly lets out the breath he was holding.

Looking down and shaking his head to try to rid his mind of the doubt that was forming there; Dean chuckled and said, “That’s… That’s fucking awesome Cas.”

He let relief flood him as Cas climbed up his body, forcing him to slide down the length of the couch as Cas kissed him. What started out as innocent kisses soon turned into more heated kisses; all tongue, teeth and desperation as Cas nipped at Dean’s bottom lip and ran his hands under Dean’s shirt, pushing it up and over his head. A moment later Dean rid Cas of his own t-shirt and was running his hands down his back to grasp a handful of his ass, pulling a guttural moan from Cas. not long after, they found their way up the stairs and into Dean’s, now their bedroom where they made love for the second time that day. They ended up falling asleep afterwards, wrapped around one another and feeling like they were flying. It was a good birthday indeed.

Chapter Text

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Valentines’ day was exactly 3 weeks from Dean’s birthday. That was the weekend Dean decided he wanted to take Sam and Eileen up on their offer to tend to the horses and cows so that he and Cas could have a whole weekend to themselves. Bobby and Jo were going to cover for Cas on Saturday night, so he could have the whole weekend off. They had figured out the plan only a few days after Dean’s birthday, over dinner at the roadhouse; the anticipation was high, and they were both excited. Between trying to get Cas moved into Dean’s house and two of the heifers going into labor over those 3 weeks, they didn’t have much intimate time together, even though they were now under the same roof; too exhausted to do more than eat. Shower and kiss each other good night before sleep overtook their tired bodies.

Dean had to spend a few nights sleeping in the barn with one of the cows when she went into labor early. Cas was glad it was over a weekend since he was always off on Sundays because he stayed awake almost all night with Dean the night the heifer went into labor. It was a long labor filled with Dean having to check her, call the vet multiple times and finally, around 3am, they both were helping her deliver her calf. They smiled tiredly at each other as the calf stood up and took its first steps, walking over to nurse from its mother. It was a cold and windy night, so Dean was planning on staying the rest of the night with the pair to make sure the calf was going to be ok. Cas felt so much pride in watching Dean in his element; Cas was genuinely starting to feel like this was where he belonged. He loved everything about the life he was living; from the people he got the chance to talk to while he worked at the bar, to helping Dean with the cows and horses.

When they told Ellen that Cas would be moving in with Dean, she had nothing but kind words and love for them both. One night while Cas was working, Dean came in to hang out with him and help if he needed it. During a conversation with one of the regulars, Cas accidentally called the cattle their cattle when he was asked about the calf that was born early. Dean was filling another patron’s beer next to him, and Cas half expected Dean to correct him, but instead he found Dean looking at him with a fond smile as he also chimed in about their new calf. For the rest of the night, when Dean got asked about the cows or horses or anything to do with the ranch, he would answer with a wide grin and call it their cattle, horses or ranch; always glancing over at Cas as he said it. This was how Cas knew he didn’t fuck up and was happy to see that Dean wasn’t upset.

 Later that night when Cas apologized, all Dean said was, “We are a team now Cas. what’s mine is yours and I will gladly share everything I own and every piece of myself with you.”

This of course led to Cas pushing Dean against the wall of now their bedroom and having his way with him.

Dean always enjoyed it.

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They finally made it to Saturday the 13^th. They slept in for a change, (if you can call 8am sleeping in) they had a lazy morning consisting of slow, languid kisses, then getting up and getting dressed. They made their way down to the kitchen where they ate a quick breakfast before they pulled on their coats and headed out to the Impala. The ground was still snow covered and you could see the clouds coming off the mountains in the distance. Cas loved watching the beautiful scenery pass by as Dean drove, their fingers intertwined as they listened to Led Zeppelin flow from the speakers. They were heading out to a farmers’ market in a small town about an hour away. Dean had been there several times with Sam and Eileen, and he had found some things he liked to get there though he wished it was closer so he could go every weekend. He thought he might be visiting more often by how excited Cas seemed to be.

“Do you think they will have a local honey stand? I would love to get some that wasn’t from a big corporation.” Cas asked as Dean drove, they only had a few more minutes of driving left.

“I’m sure. They have all kinds of produce, organic and locally sourced things there.” Dean answered with a squeeze to Cas’s hand.

“I hope so. I would like to have some bees of my own one day… Maybe a garden as well. Grow our own fruit, vegetables and flowers.” Cas sounded far off as he spoke, like it was a dream he had always had but never thought would come true.

A long time ago Dean made it his personal mission to give Cas everything he wanted that was humanly possible; this was now one of those things.

“Oh yeah?”

“mmhhmmm.” Cas nodded, “I wouldn’t mind having some chickens too. I know you get fresh eggs from a neighbor farmer, but I would like to have some of our own walking around the barn.” Cas finished with a look over to Dean.

He was silently wondering if he crossed a boundary with talk of adding more to the ranch and even modifying it. Although he knew deep down that Dean wouldn’t mind; and of course, Dean took away his worry by saying with a laugh, “We can get some chickens. Wouldn’t mind having more of my food come from my own land.”

Somehow Dean always knew when Cas needed his reassurance and never failed to dish it out. He loved listening to Cas’s ideas on what they could do at the ranch next or his thoughts on changes they could make for the better. It was Castiel’s home now too and Dean was determined to make sure that his once quiet and agreeable boyfriend now made his opinions heard. They were a team now after all.

 They pulled into the market and Dean parked along the street with the other cars. It was on a snow-covered grass lot at the edge of town; the town may be small, but the farmers’ market was huge. Venders were everywhere, along with a few rides and games for the kids that came with their parents. Cas loved it the minute he saw it. They got out of the Impala and started to walk through the different vender’s hand in hand. Dean didn’t care that they were holding hands in a public place like this, but he could feel the tension coursing through Cas; his palms were sweaty, and he felt rigid in the way he walked. They had both been so busy since they officially got together on Christmas that they hadn’t had a chance to go anywhere or do anything. Dates were always at the roadhouse or the ranch, so this was the first time they had been out in public as a couple.

“It’s ok Cas, it’s 2010 not the 1950s. besides,” Dean put his hand on the small of Cas’s back and guided him towards a stand that read ‘FRESH, LOCAL HONEY’. “If anyone says anything to two very large, very tall men who happen to be holding hands because they are in love… Well, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them to stick it where the sun don’t shine.” Dean leaned in to peck him on the cheek.

Cas chuckled, knowing that what Dean had said was extremely true. If anyone said anything rude to them Dean would tell them to shove it. This made Cas relax a little; he needed to stop overthinking this and just enjoy his time with his boyfriend.

Cas stayed at the honey stand for a good 20 minutes before Dean had to drag him away; he was learning all he could about honey, bees and the honey making process. Cas bought 2 bottles of honey for his coffee, tea and some homemade honey soap. They continued with their shopping, picking up an array of produce, (some of which Dean scrunched his nose up to, getting a laugh from Cas) and picking up three dozen eggs: some for them, Sam and Eileen and Ellen and Bobby as well. After a while Cas seemed to have relaxed as Dean always kept a reassuring hand on him; whether it be holding hands, a hand on the small of his back, a hand on his hip or even each having a hand in each other’s hip pockets as they walked through the venders. No one said a thing, both men grateful no one chose to ruin their day.

By the time they were done and heading back to the Impala, it was lunch time. They stopped at a diner to grab a quick lunch before heading by the roadhouse to drop off the eggs for Ellen, then they headed back to the ranch to enjoy a quiet evening.

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For dinner that night Dean roasted a chicken in the oven and made mashed potatoes and roasted carrots and broccoli from the potatoes and veggies they bought at the farmers’ market. Cas helped as much as Dean would let him, cutting the broccoli, carrots and potatoes up. it wasn’t that Dean didn’t want Cas in the kitchen, he just enjoyed cooking for the man he loved. They had fun as they cooked, listening to music and laughing at the goofy dances Dean would do every now and then.

The meal was great as usual, they ate by fire on the front porch with Cas having himself a glass of wine and Dean having his typical beer. Dean was starting to get nervous the later it got. He had a surprise for Cas, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to react to it.

After they talked for a while, they went inside and Dean excused himself while Cas put the rest of dinner in the fridge, saying he would meet him in their room as soon as he was done. Dean knew he didn’t have long as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. he got into their room and went straight to the drawer of the nightstand on his side of the bed; he pulled out the pair of pink satin and lace panties. He took them into the bathroom and put them into a drawer of the vanity that was never used, stowing them for after their shower. He laid out some towels and lit a few candles in the bathroom and bedroom, enough to let a soft, romantic glow fall over the two rooms.

A few minutes later Dean could hear Cas coming up the stairs, he ran from the bathroom into the bedroom just in time to see Cas’s eyes go wide as he takes in the glow of the room.

“Hey Cas.” Dean said nervously with a shy smile.

Cas’s face lights up in a wide smile as he took in the room and his handsome boyfriend, both bathed in the soft candlelight. “Hello Dean. So, this is where all the candles in the house ended up.”

Dean chuckled lightly, “Yeah, I had to buy a few more for the bathroom but I wanted it to be romantic.”

Cas walked over to where Dean seemed to be glued to the floor. Dean reached out and brought Cas in by his hips, pulling him flush against his body and kissing him with everything he had. Cas moaned into the kiss as Dean’s tongue drug across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. Cas parted his lips, letting Dean expertly explore his mouth the way Cas loved. Cas’s hands came up, one to run through his hair, the other to grab at Deans ass, pulling a guttural groan from deep in Dean’s chest. That sound always made Castiel’s dominate side come out, and Dean loved when his dominate side came out. Cas roughly grabbed Dean’s ass again as he deepened the kiss even further, tongues fighting for dominance as they kissed. He pushed Dean against the wall by the bathroom door as his mouth wondered down his neck, leaving a trial of wet kisses and love bites. Dean was loving every second of this, but he didn’t want Cas to end it before it even got started.

Dean was already rock hard inside his thin sweats, and he could feel Cas grinding his thick cock against his thigh as well. Cas was still sucking kisses against Dean’s neck that were sure to leave dark marks when he finally whispered through the haze of arousal, “Cas…”

“Hhmm?” Cas answered, continuing his assault on Dean’s neck and clavicle.

“Easy there tiger.” Dean pushed lightly against his chest, breathless.

 Cas takes a step back, breathing heavily as he grabs the front of Dean’s shirt and hauls him into the bathroom. They undress quickly, while the water for the shower warms up. Once in the shower, they waste little time with their normal shower routine. Normally, they would both wash their hair and then they would take turns washing away the day from one another’s bodies. But not tonight… Tonight their shower is full of soft, intimate touches, and long, passionate kisses. Finally, when neither one can take anymore foreplay, Cas turns the water off and steps out of the shower. quickly toweling off just enough to not soak the sheets. He grabs Dean’s wrist and hauls him into him, kissing him and walking them back towards the bed.

When the back of Dean’s knee’s hit the bed, Cas gently shoves him down as he climbs on top of him, latching back onto his neck.

“Hold on Cas…” Dean mumbled between groans, “I got something I want to show you before we take this any further.”

Cas pulls back and looks at Dean, head tilted slightly with confusion written on his face. “Ok.” He says a little out of breath.

Dean smiles gently, places a quick kiss to his lips and gets up, heading back into the bathroom. Cas stays sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for his lover to return.

Dean opened the drawer where he had stowed the panties and pulled them out. He found his heart was racing as he looked at them. He hadn’t worn them in a long time, and never in front of anyone but himself. He hoped Cas would like them. Cas hadn’t said anything about them even though Dean knew there was no way he hadn’t seen them in the nightstand with how many times he has gotten into that drawer. Dean pulls them on, enjoying the soft drag of satin against his hard cock. He got them as properly placed as possible; they couldn’t contain his dick when he was fully hard like this, so the head poked out the top of the panties. He enjoyed the feeling of the lace part of the thong as it rubbed against his tight hole while he walked back into the bedroom.

As soon as Cas’s eyes landed on Dean, his breath caught in his throat and his dick began to throb with the need to be inside him.

 “Holy fuck.” Cas whispers as his mouth goes dry and he tries to swallow.

He reaches out, beckoning Dean to come closer. Dean takes long steps that carry him into Cas’s waiting arms. When he reaches him, Cas’s hands immediately wonder down to caress the silky fabric that was barely containing Dean’s large dick. Dean moaned at the touch and ran his hand through Cas’s thick hair. Cas brought his mouth to ghost over Dean’s dick before he licked a hot strip up the length of him, still covered by the fabric. Dean’s hand gripped tighter at his hair.

 “You look amazing Dean.” Cas told him as he stood up to turn Dean around and push him onto the bed.

He climbed on top of him, kissing him fiercely as he pushed his own cock against Dean’s, feeling the drag of the fabric between them was almost too much for either of them to handle. Cas pulled back and settled himself between Dean’s parted legs, reaching his hand up and running his forefinger over Dean’s lips. Dean opens his mouth, taking in 2 of Cas’s thick fingers, swirling his tongue around them and sucking on them. once they were wet, Cas pulled them out; with his other hand he pulled the thong to the side and rubbed along Dean’s waiting hole.

Dean let out a needy moan as he pleaded, “More Cas… Please…”

With that, Cas slowly sank one finger all the way to the hilt, pulling a deep groan from Dean. He works that finger for a minute then slowly adds the second, stretching Dean open. Cas loved watching Dean’s face as he slowly took him apart, it was an amazing sight to him. Cas leaned down as he moved his fingers in and out of Dean to grab one of his nipples with his teeth. This elicited a hiss from Dean as he tugged, sucked and lapped his tongue around the sensitive bud. A few minutes later he had three fingers in easily and Dean was a writhing mess beneath him, panting and desperately grasping at the sheets.

“Cas… Cas please… Can’t take it anymore.” Dean begs, out of breath and panting.

Cas nods and pulls out his fingers, reaching for the lube sitting on the nightstand. He pours some onto his dick and lines himself up with Dean’s entrance, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Dean’s lips as he pushed into him, never looking anywhere but Dean’s face as he takes in the look of sheer pleasure. Cas starts out slow, pulling almost all the way out, then slowly sinking back in until his thighs are pressed against Dean’s ass. Dean loves the feeling of the slow drag, but he thinks that if Cas doesn’t move faster soon, he might explode.

“Faster Cas… please move faster.” Dean stuttered, digging his fingers into Cas’s thighs.

Cas stopped when just the tip of his cock was still in Dean and whispered, “You want more Dean? Want me to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk in the morning?” He snapped his hips forward, a rush of pleasure pulsing through them both at the movement.

“Oh god Cas!” Dean shouted in pleasure, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

Cas kept up a bruising pace until he started to feel the familiar heat flare to life in his stomach; he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

Dean felt Cas’s hips faulter from the pace he was keeping up, the thought of what was to come had his balls tightening. He reached a hand between them to stroke his neglected and leaking cock. Cas leaned down to suck at the spot on his neck he knew drove Dean crazy. With a deep groan and Dean’s legs coming tight around Cas’s hips to hold him deeper, Dean came between them. Cas was not far behind him, the minute he felt Dean clench down around him was all it took for him to be shooting his load deep inside Dean. They ride out their highs together, moving as one; moaning in sync and breathing each other’s air.

Cas collapsed on top of him, both breathing heavily and reveling in the afterglow of their orgasms.

Dean stroked a hand lazily up and down Cas’s back while he pulls his softening cock out about a minute later. He lays down beside Dean and whispers as he kisses the side of his neck, “That gets better every time… I love you.”

Dean hums in delight. “I love you too Cas. That was awesome. But I think we need another shower.” He gestures to the mess on his stomach and leaking out of his ass.

“I will never turn down a chance to shower with you love.” Cas tells him, turning over to stand up, he reaches out his hand to help Dean up.

Dean stands up on shaking legs and takes a wobbly step then says, “I think you accomplished your mission.”

“What mission?” Cas asked, confused.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to walk in the morning.” Dean gives him a sly grin as he smacks him on the ass. Cas just laughs as he shakes his head and follows him into the shower for the second time that night, where they run loving and exploratory hands over each other’s bodies; never tiring of the feeling of the other under their hands.

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That next morning was Valentine’s Day, Cas woke to the smell of bacon and the feint sound of music flowing into the open door of the bedroom. a smile crossed Cas’s face as he heard what he thought to be Dean belting out along to the song. He got up and pulled on a pair of sweats then headed into the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth. Once the morning necessities were done, he headed down the hall and down the stairs where he came face to face with a dancing and singing Dean as he flipped the pancakes on the stove. Cas walked over and settled a hand on Dean’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. Dean turned and grabbed his waist and started to dance with him as he serenaded him as Seaside Rendezvous by Queen played through the speakers. Cas joined in on the singing as they swayed in the kitchen until the song ended and Dean needed to flip the pancakes and bacon.

 When the song ended Cas pulled away from him and started the coffee pot while commenting, “That song makes me want to go to the beach again. I haven’t been in…. God it’s been years now that I think of it.” Cas felt kind of sad that he hadn’t taken the time to go to a place he loved so much more often. He loved it mainly because anything involving water reminded him of Dean since he taught him to swim in a lake at camp.

“Would you believe me if I told you that I’ve never been to a beach.” Dean tells him as he places two mountains of pancakes and bacon on 2 plates for them.

“No…” Cas says gravely and stops mid pour of orange juice.

Dean turns to look concernedly at him at the sound of his voice.

“No… You really have never been to a beach? Ever?” Cas asked, turning his full attention to him as Dean let out a small laugh.

“Yeah never. We always stuck to lakes and rivers. Never really went to either coast even when in a coastal state.” Dean handed Cas his plate and pouring 2 cups of coffee along with the 2 cups of orange juice.

They sit down to eat when Cas adds, “So you’re telling me that the same Dean Winchester who forced me into that lake at camp and taught me how to swim, is the same Dean Winchester who is sitting in front of me now, saying he’s never been to a beach?” Cas was teasing him, and Dean knew it. He loved the banter they had together.

“One and the same.” Dean said, smiling around a huge bite of pancake. “But I would love to go. I always have, I just never got the chance too. Sam had a very set route every time we took road trips when we were younger and they only ever consisted of lakes, rivers and trails we could hike.”

An idea suddenly popped into Castiel’s head, before he could overthink it, he looked up at Dean and said, “Why don’t we take a trip to the coast this summer? It would be a lot of fun and I would get to share one of my favorite things with you.”

Dean’s face lit up at Cas’s suggestion. The idea of taking a road trip with Cas was an exciting prospect. “Yeah, Cas that would be great! I would love to go on a road trip with you. I’m sure we could get help with the ranch while we are gone. We can ask during dinner at the bar if anyone would be willing to help during the summer.”

Cas couldn’t help but feel giddy inside from Dean’s choice of the word we… He still couldn’t believe that Dean thought of ranch things as joint things for them. It made Cas’s heart flutter in his chest as he looked at Dean with the fondest smile on his face. “I’ve never been on a road trip. I would love nothing more than to share my first road trip with you Dean.”

Now it was Dean’s turn to look incredulously at Cas, “You’ve never been on a road trip?”

“Nope. If we went anywhere, mother always insisted on flying… now that I think of it, my parents had a fight over my dad wanting to drive and my mom wanting to fly. She thought it was more sophisticated than road trips.” Cas shakes his head chuckles, thinking how foolish his mother is.

Dean scoffs and says, “Well she couldn’t be more wrong. Road trips are the best. Staying in sleezy motels and eating junk food while enjoying each other’s company. Plus, you couldn’t pay me to get me on a plane.”

“So I’ve heard. Sam has told me about that time he tried to get you on a plane.” Cas says with a laugh around his last bite of pancake.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I embarrassed the shit out of him.” Dean ducked his head as he felt embarrassment color his cheeks.

Cas laughed at the memory of the story Sam had told him a few months ago while they were at the bar.  

 They finished eating then decided what they were going to do for the rest of the day. They hadn’t had this much time to themselves the whole time they had been together, and they weren’t quite sure what to do with it. They settled on playing a game of clue.

An hour into the game and Dean was so certain that he had won, he said who he thought did it, in what room and with what weapon; but it was the who he had wrong. A grumbled “Son of a bitch.” Was uttered and then Cas did the same, opening the envelope and revealing that he had won had Dean throwing him the bird. Cas laughed and called him a sore loser to which Dean challenged him to a rematch. Dean finally beat Cas on their third game after he spent a solid 10 minutes trying to decide between Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet. Cas just laughed at him as he stood up and did a little victory dance.

After they were done playing, it was lunch time, Cas went into the kitchen and made some sandwiches with the leftover chicken and potatoes. They ate on the couch as they watched a couple episodes of the Office and talk about the upcoming week. They clean up from lunch and decide to continue their binge of Lord of the Rings for the rest of the day. For dinner they decided to order a pizza so they could continue to spend time cuddled up on the couch. By the time the pizza arrived, they were both a couple beers in and feeling good. They ate the pizza and bread sticks while they finished the last Lord of the Rings movie, putting away a couple more beers each, neither one was drunk just buzzing. It was around 9pm when Dean made a suggestion that Cas couldn’t pass up.

Dean looked down at Cas who was snuggled up under his arm on the couch and said, “Hey, I’ve got an idea.”

“What’s that?” Cas looked up at him.

“Wanna go skinny dippin?” Dean whispered and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s the middle of winter Dean.” Cas says with a furrowed brow and a chuckle. “And you don’t have a pool.”

“Don’t need a pool. Also, it doesn’t matter what time of year it is when it’s a hot tub you’ll be skinny dipping in.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

“Oh, I forgot you had a hot tub.” Cas said excitedly.

Dean laughed at the obvious enthusiasm in Castiel’s voice.

“Come on, let’s go.” He stood up and pulled Cas along with him. They went up the stairs and into their bedroom. they stripped down and Dean grabbed 2 towels from the bathroom.

“Isn’t the balcony going to be cold?” Cas asked right when Dean went to open the sliding glass door.

Dean paused, smiled and said, “The balcony floor can be heated, and the hot tub has been heating up for the last hour so we shouldn’t be cold.”

“That makes sense.” Cas said before taking a towel from Dean and wrapping it around him. Cas had never been on this balcony, it always seemed like Dean’s own personal space and Cas never wanted to intrude on that without an invitation.

Dean opened the door to the large deck and stepped out, the lights that were strung around the railing and up around the edge of the wood patio cover. It was a soft light that bounced off the snow that was on the railing. Dean walked over to the hot tub and pulled back the cover, setting his towel on the chair next to it. Steam rose from the bubbling water, it looked warm and inviting.

“You comin or what?” Dean asked with a warm smile.

 Cas was standing a few feet away, staring at him. He thought Dean looked gorgeous in the soft light. Cas shook his head and gave Dean a soft smile, walking over to the stairs and climbing in after he dropped his towel, Dean climbed in after him. The water was the perfect temperature, and the jets were going, giving Cas a back massage when he settled in the seat across from Dean. They stayed like that for a while, just relaxing and enjoying the comfortable silence that had fallen between them. They had been playing footsie for a while when Dean went to get up.

“I’m gonna go get a drink. You want something?” Dean asked as he dried off and wrapped the towel around him.

“Whatever you’re getting for yourself is fine.” Cas answered then leaned back and closed his eyes.

Dean nodded then walked back into the house, he went down to the kitchen to grab them both a beer. He had 2 beers in hand and was walking back towards the stairs when his cowboy hat that was hanging on the hat stand by the front door caught his eye. He smirked to himself as an idea crossed his mind. He walked over and grabbed it off the stand and put it on his head; this hat was old and comfortable, and it looked great on him. It was a gift from Ellen and Bobby, he had lost count of how many years he’d had it. He ran back up the stairs and into their room, he got to the door and slid it open quietly. Cas’s back was to him so he couldn’t see him return. He closed the door and walked over to Cas; he tried to hide his smirk when he reached him and saw that Cas’s eyes were still closed. Dean cleared his throat in an effort to make himself known.

“Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart.” Dean said, voice coming out raspier than he intended.

Cas’s eyes opened and then went wide as he took in the sight before him; Dean standing there with a black towel tied low and loose around his hips, and a fucking cowboy hat on his head. In Cas’s mind, he thought he must have fallen asleep and drowned in the hot tub because there was no way he could be so lucky as to have Dean Winchester standing before him in nothing but a cowboy hat. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and Dean chuckled at him before handing him one of the beers. Cas took it automatically, eyes never leaving Dean’s body as he let the towel fall to the floor where he stood. Now Cas shifted a little as his cock tried to come to life.

Well, this is a kink I didn’t know I had. Cas thought to himself as his mouth hung open.

Dean climbed back into the hot tub, popping his beer open and trying to hide his smile behind it as he took a drink and stared at Cas. He knew full well what he was doing.

“See something you like?” Dean smirked.

“Y – Yeah, just a little.” Cas stuttered, his mouth going dry with the fantasies swirling around in his mind.

“Wanna come over here and see what this cowboy can do?” Dean asked with a wink and cheeky smile.

“Fuck yes.” Cas whispered, launching himself across the hot tub and into Dean’s waiting arms, beer forgotten.

He grabbed Dean’s face with both hands as he slammed their mouths together in a heated kiss. Dean’s hands came up to wrap around Cas as he settled in his lap. Cas noticed Dean’s dick standing at a full attention against his own cock and he moaned when he felt them rub against each other. Dean tilted his head and tugged on Cas’s bottom lip, asking for entrance. Cas opened for him, and their tongues slid together in the most sinful way. One of Dean’s hands trailed down to grab at Cas’s ass pulling another needy moan from him. They pulled back and Dean reached further down to Cas’s hole, that was when he discovered a little surprise.

Dean looked up at Cas and said, “When did you put that in?” He pushed a little on the plug that was in Cas’s ass.

“I stowed it in the downstairs bathroom and put it in when I went to the bathroom right before the movie ended.” Cas shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Dean let out a low groan, “I knew I loved you for a reason.” He latched onto Cas’s neck and sucked dark marks, claiming him for everyone to see.

“What do you say we move this to the bed?” Cas suggested.

“After you sweetheart.”

They kissed once more before both exiting the hot tub, wrapping towels around themselves and heading inside their bedroom. they fell into bed where Dean moved the plug around before pulling it out, pulling filthy moans from Cas. He was glad that Cas was already prepared; normally he loved taking Cas apart slowly but tonight he just wanted to get his cock in him and make love all night. Cas ended up flipping them, pushing Dean up the bed where he was in a sitting position; his big cock leaking and heavy against his stomach. Dean still had the cowboy hat on as Cas lubed his dick for him and then positioned himself over him. Dean’s cockhead pressing lightly against his waiting hole.

Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean slow and lightly before taking his hat off his head and placing it on his own and saying, “You know what they say Dean, save a horse, ride a cowboy.”

 He said the last words with the crooked smile Dean loved, then sunk all the way down until he was sitting flush against Dean’s lap. They both threw their heads back as desire and pleasure coursed through them both. Cas started to move, and Dean’s hands found purchase on his hips and thighs as he started to ride him. They made love like this multiple times that night, slowly taking one another apart with loving hands and loving words until they fell asleep wrapped around each other, satisfied and exhausted.

It was the best Valentine’s Day either one of them had ever had.

Chapter Text

All the Roads We Have to Walk are Winding

The rest of February passed in a blur of endless teasing from Sam and Jo about the dark hickey’s lining Castiel’s and Dean’s necks for the rest of the month from Valentine’s Day weekend. Dean would laugh and smack Cas on the ass with a proud smile playing across his face. Once Cas got over the initial embarrassment, he too felt pride in the fact that everyone could see that Dean was his, even if the thought that it was slightly animalistic did cross his mind; he couldn’t bring himself to care. Cas’s schedule had long since gone back to a normal 5 days a week, he always had Sundays off since the bar was closed, Wednesday was usually the lull in the week, so he had Wednesdays off too. Through march and April Cas would spend his off days helping Dean around the ranch; they had built a system and they ran like a well-oiled machine these days.

On Sundays Sam had full responsibility of the cows and horses so Dean could have a whole day with Cas, that usually included trips to the farmers market or the grocery store and then relaxing the rest of the day, or they would just be lazy if it had been a long week and they needed the down time. On Wednesdays Cas help Dean with the cows; since it was spring the pregnant cows were dropping their babies left and right, Dean was having a hard time keeping up. Dean loved to work with Cas, he was very thorough and wanted to learn everything possible to help Dean. They quickly learned that the workday on Wednesdays ended earlier than normal since Dean had an extra set of hands. He was seriously considering seeing if Cas was willing to quit the bar and work with him full time, but then he would walk in the bar in the evenings and see how much fun Cas was having and he couldn’t bring himself to ask him to quit doing something he loved.

Cas and Eileen had always been quite close, but they started getting closer over March and April as well. They would go get lunch and hang out at least once a week while the bar was close and the boys were working; she liked to call them The Winchester’s Better Half Dates, and Cas loved the time he spent with her as she had quickly become his best friend next to Dean. Dean and Sam would smile and chuckle when those two would come walking into the bar, Eileen with her arm laced through Cas’s, carrying their bags from a shopping trip. Sam and Dean were both glad to see that Eileen had another friend, she liked to keep to her family, enjoying how much time she got to spend with them. It was good for Cas to have a friend outside of Dean, someone he could gossip about Dean to, and they would talk for hours. She had started teaching Cas sign language so he could more easily communicate with her after about a week of him first moving here and now he knew more than Dean and almost as much as Sam (Sam was of course fluent in sign language).

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Present day, May 2^nd, 2010

Today was Sam’s birthday, May 2^nd, the current time was about 4pm. It was a Sunday which found Cas, Dean, Ellen and Jo at the bar setting up for the party they were throwing Sam that night. Dean had been at the bar since the ass crack of dawn, smoking 6 racks of ribs. Cas met him there at a more reasonable hour to bringing him some much-needed coffee and a breakfast sandwich. Dean had just pulled the ribs off the smoker while Cas helped Ellen make the mashed potatoes, kale and baby spinach salad that Sam loved so much. Cas was distracted, he had received a call from his brother Michael that morning saying that Anna was having some contractions, but they were still far apart. Michael told Cas that he wanted him there as soon as he could, Cas agreed and said he would talk to Dean. Michael wanted to meet Dean and told him to bring him with him, much to Castiel’s surprise. When he got to the bar, he told Dean about the call with his brother. Cas knowing full well that Dean refused to fly, initially told him that it was fine for Dean to drive and himself to fly; they could just meet each other there.

But Dean wasn’t having that. Here is how that conversation actually played out….

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May 2^nd, 8 am.

“Dean?” Cas called as he opened the back door to the Roadhouse in search of his boyfriend. He had some coffee, a breakfast sandwich and some news to share with him.

“Over here!” Dean called over to him.

He was standing at the smoker checking the temp of the ribs, he threw Cas a wide smile as he walked over. It was still cold outside, but it was warmer than it had been since Cas arrived. There was still some grey, sludgy snow on the ground, Cas missed the pillowy snow that was around during the height of winter. Dean was wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt, a charcoal grey hoodie with his leather jacket over that and a baseball hat. Cas thought he looked damn fine for someone who got up at Ass o’clock in the morning to smoke some ribs. Cas walked over to him, trying to disguise his obvious ogling but failing miserably.

Dean noticed his staring and commented, “I know… I look smokin.” He looked at Cas expectantly with that goofy grin and raised eyebrow he always had when he made a bad pun or dad joke.

Cas tried not to laugh as he said, “See you think your funny…”

Dean cut him off, “Bitch I’m hilarious.” He wrapped an arm around Cas’s neck and laid a big kiss on his lips.

When they pulled apart, Cas smiled, shrugging, “You can be.”

“ppffff.” Dean joked, shoving at Cas’s shoulder and laughing.

“Here I brought you this.” Cas held up the bag and cup of hot coffee from Dean’s favorite donut shop.

“Ah! You are an angel.” Dean took it happily and placed another chaste kiss to Cas’s lips.

“Yeah, I know.” Cas said smugly as he pulled up another lawn chair next to Dean’s.

Dean plopped in the chair next to him saying, “Getting cocky aren’t we.”

Cas just laughed along with Dean and nodded in agreement. They were both aware that since they had gotten together Cas had become surer of himself, joking more and being sarcastic. Dean was proud that he seemed to be rubbing off on him (Pun intended).

“Michael called before I left the house this morning.” Cas started, he wasn’t nervous to tell Dean about the call, he was dreading having to suggest they travel separately and just being apart for a few days.

“Oh yeah? What’d he want?” Dean asked around a bite of his sandwich. Dean knew it was getting close to Anna’s due date, he had a conversation with Gabriel the week before and he had mentioned it. That’s what Dean figured the call was going to be about.

“Anna is having contractions. Michael said they are still far apart but…” Cas trailed off, staring down at the coffee in his hand and running his finger around the rim of the cup absentmindedly.

Dean turned to look at Cas when he stopped speaking. “But what sweetheart?”

Cas took a deep breath then turned to meet Dean’s eyes, bright green staring back at him, reassuring and loving, “He said he wants me there as soon as possible. That was news to me, I didn’t think he would want me there until they were home and settled.”

“That’s a good thing Cas. This is a big moment in his life, and he wants to share it with you. He’s making an effort and that is enormous.” Dean assured him, placing a grounding hand on Cas’s knee.

“I know. But he said I would need to be there in the next two days. I would have to fly, and you would have to drive an…” Cas was starting to go into panic mode, but something caught Dean’s attention and he needed to stop Cas’s panic.

“Woah, woah, woah Cas just slow down. Your brother wants me to tag along with you to meet the baby?” Dean asked in a tone that sounded like he wasn’t sure he heard Cas right. He had assumed that Cas would go by himself for a few days and Dean would be left with his right hand as his nightly companion.

Cas looked at him with a puzzled expression, “Of course you would come with me Dean. He knows we are dating, and my family is eager to meet you. which is something I never thought I would say.” Cas gave a little chuckle at the situation he never would have thought he would find himself in.

“Strangely I am looking forward to meeting them as long as they continue to treat you with respect.” Dean really wanted to meet Michael and he hoped he could get a different opinion on Cas’s father than what he already had.

Cas smiled fondly, he didn’t need Michael or his father’s approval of Dean, but he knew without a doubt that they would love him.

“They seem to be so far. The only person I hope you never have to meet is my mother. I don’t ever see a need for you to meet her considering the current relationship between us and her.”

Dean sighed, “Yeah, I don’t think she would like anything I have to say to her. They aren’t very nice things.” Dean had never hated someone so much in his entire life. Especially someone he had never met.

He felt bad for Cas to have his mother alive and well but for her to be a horrible person. Dean would give anything to have his mother back in his life. he got lost in the thought of how much his mother would’ve taken Cas under her wing the minute she met him; much like Ellen had done. He smiled at being lucky enough to have a surrogate mother of sorts in Ellen; she loved him like a son, and he loved her like a mother. When he was a kid and went to live with them, he and Sam often found themselves calling her Momma, just like Jo would. Ellen never corrected them, just smiled knowing that Mary would want them to have another mother figure in their lives that loved them as much as she had. He hadn’t called Ellen that in a long time but every now and then, when he was really emotional; it would slip out, she always smiled.

Cas chuckled at Dean’s remark about what he had to say to him mother, then continued, “Anyway, like I was saying; I figured that I could fly out in the morning, and you can drive up and meet me there in a few days. If you are able to get away that is.”

“Let me talk to Sam but I don’t see it being a problem. All the cows had their calves so it should be fairly calm for a while.” Dean paused, considering the fact that he would have to be without Cas for a few days and that just didn’t sit well with him. He would much rather face his fear of flying over having to spend several nights without his human octopus wrapped around him.

“Cas, I don’t want to go without you for that long.” Dean added, glancing seriously at him.

“I don’t see how we could get there before Anna has the baby if we drive. I’m not going to ask you to fly since you hate it so much.” Cas said matter-of-factly.

Dean swallowed hard, he wanted to share this special event with Cas, not get there after it was over. He would swallow his fear and take this flight with Cas, he was going to need to drink a hell of a lot of alcohol on the plane to get through it.

Dean took Cas’s hand and looked him in the eyes, “I want to Cas. I want to be there for you during this special time. You only become a first-time uncle once.” Dean winked. He knew when the time came, and Sam and Eileen had a baby, that he would want Cas there with him as well.

“You can’t be serious? Dean it’s not like you just don’t like to fly, you have a fear of flying and---.” Cas began to prepare for an argument but was interrupted by Dean again.

“And I can deal with the fear. I will need to get drunk but I’m not a child and I’ve made up my mind. I know what I’ve said about flying before, but this is different. I’ll be fine I promise.” Dean was rubbing his thumb in circles over Cas’s knuckles in a soothing gesture.

Cas smiled widely but still seemed weary. “Ok. But if we get to the airport and you need to leave, we can go. Promise me you will tell me if you can’t do it.”

“I promise. Now…” Dean smiled and pulled out his phone, “Let’s take a look at flights.”

Cas grinned as he scooted his chair as close to Dean’s as he could get it, resting his head against Dean’s as they booked a flight.

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May 2^nd, 4pm. Present time.

They had spent the remainder of the morning looking at flights, they were discussing whether they should take a morning flight or an afternoon flight for the next day when Cas’s phone had rung again. it had been Michael and he was calling to tell them that Anna had an appointment that morning and she was dilated 2 centimeters. The doctor had said she could have the baby sooner, so they decided to call Sam to get the ok to book a flight for that evening. Luckily, they were able to find one and Sam was more than happy to tend to the ranch for a few days. It was a late flight, the last flight of the night, they wouldn’t be getting into New York until almost 3am but Dean assured Cas that it was more than fine. Their flight was at 9pm, plenty of time to have Sam’s party and get to the airport. Cas had gone back to the ranch to pack 2 suitcases for them both around 11am, returning soon after to finish helping with the party.

Cas was just finishing beating the mashed potatoes when Dean came bursting in with trays full of the ribs he had been smoking all day yelling, “HOT RIBS!” as he set the trays on the counter.

It was almost time for Sam and Eileen to get there.

Eileen had a surprise for Sam that she had told Cas about during their last lunch date earlier in the week. He couldn’t wait to see everyone’s face when she gave it to Sam. She had asked Cas to do something for her and he was excited to help. He made sure the cupcake that he picked up for her was hidden in the back of the fridge before he picked up the bowl of potatoes and the salad and headed into the main bar. He set everything down on the tables they had pulled together since there were so many of them; Benny and Andrea had come as well. They all ate dinner and exchanged embarrassing or funny stories they had of Sam; it was a birthday tradition after all. Ellen and Dean seemed to have the most and they enjoyed the red color that flooded Sam’s face when particularly embarrassing stories got told.

When Sam complimented the salad and potatoes that was Cas’s cue, “Thank you Sam. I used baby potatoes and baby spinach.” Cas said this with a smile as he punctuated the word baby.

Sam looked at him a little confused but didn’t comment on it. No one else seemed to notice their little exchange except for Eileen who was trying to stifle her laughter behind her water glass.

Dean leaned over and quietly asked, “Hey, why isn’t Eileen having a drink with us?”

 Cas expected Dean to ask this, so he had an answer prepared, “It’s a diet thing, I think. She was telling me something about a diet she wanted to try to make her ass bigger for Sam.” He whispered back.

Cas knew if he went down a more vulgar road that included Sam and Eileen’s butt, it would end Dean’s curiosity. To this Dean scrunched up his nose, he thought of Eileen as a sister and in no way wanted to hear about her ass. Cas smiled to himself at knowing his boyfriend so well. No one else seemed to notice her lack of alcohol consumption thankfully.

When they finished dinner, Cas followed Eileen into the kitchen to grab the cake they had for Sam, she brought it out and set it in front of him while Cas held the special cupcake behind his back. she lit the candles, and they sang happy birthday. After Sam blew out the candles Eileen kissed him and set a small package in his lap. He looked surprised; Eileen had told Cas he would be, they usually gave their presents in private. Sam tentatively unwrapped the box and pulled out the paper that was on top. At this point Cas reached over and grabbed Dean’s hand with his free one and squeezed it. Dean had no clue what was fixing to happen, and it showed by the confused look he was giving Cas, though he squeezed his hand back.

Sam pulled out the first thing, it was a t-shirt that read: I LIKE BIG BUMPS AND I CANNOT LIE.

Sam laughed a little, his brain not quite registering the meaning on the shirt and said, “That’s cute.” as he put it down and went to pull out the next thing. Dean and Cas were standing right behind him and had a full view of what it said. Dean was taking a drink of his beer when he read it and proceeded to choke on it as it dribbled down his chin. Cas was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing because clearly Dean had gotten it right away and Sam had not.

“I’m good!” Dean choked out when everyone looked at him.

They all shrugged as Sam went to pull out the next thing. Cas could feel Dean practically vibrating with excitement next to him, but he was determined not to say anything until Sam’s moose brain kicked in. The next thing was a coffee mug that read: PROMOTED TO DAD: EST NOV 2010.

Once again Cas and Dean were the only ones to see it along with Sam and after staring at it for a few seconds, Sam seemed to realize what it had said because his face went from excitement to realization and pure shock, back to excitement in about 2 seconds.

Sam looked up at Eileen and exclaimed and signed, “Really?”

Eileen vigorously shook her head yes as Sam jumped to his feet and wrapped her in a tight hug. No one else knew what was happening as Dean started to whoop and holler As Sam yelled, “Holy shit! I’m going to be a dad!”

That’s when the whole bar erupted in fit of excitement as Dean let Cas’s hand go and wrapped his brother up in a bone crushing bear hug. Once Dean was done with Sam, he hugged Eileen, picking her up and spinning her around. Cas came in and one handedly hugged them both with congratulations being said. When Cas looked at Dean he was smiling like the sun and wiping a few stray tears from his eyes. Cas knew how much this was affecting Dean, considering what they had talked about one night a few months ago when Dean had one to many drinks to give a shit what came out of his mouth. Cas knew he was feeling both pure joy to be an uncle, but also sadness. Dean didn’t think he would ever have kids with how hard it was for gay couples, so he was ecstatic to be an uncle; he thought that was as close as he would get, but he didn’t know that Cas fully intended to make Dean a father one day. One way or another, Cas was determined to have a family with the man he loved.

Cas was still holding the cupcake behind his back when the excitement started to settle down; Eileen came over to him and pulled something out of her pocket as they stepped close together so no one could see what they were doing. When she turned around, she was holding the cupcake; it had half pink and half blue icing on it with a laminated sonogram photo sitting in the middle. Looking at it everyone seemed to be tearing up including Cas. It was a very special announcement to be a part of and Cas was so happy to have been able to help Eileen with it.

Eileen grabbed 2 more bags and handed each out to Cas and Dean, both were looking at her slightly confused before she signed for them to open them. They both did so, Dean pulling out a blue coffee cup that read: WORLDS GREATEST UNCLE: EST NOV 2010.

And Cas pulled out a green mug that read: PROMOTED TO COOL UNCLE: EST 2010.

Dean lit up and was clearly trying to hold back his emotions when he thanked Eileen and hugged her again, sniffling slightly. Cas was over the moon that they thought of him as an uncle when he was only Dean’s boyfriend. Looked like he would have to start taking them seriously when they say he’s part of the family. Dean pulled Cas close and kissed him slow and light. He looked into Cas’s blue eyes and felt as if he was drowning with happiness.

 “Love you Cas.” he said shakily. He meant every word of it every time he spoke those three words. Though he really wanted to say: I wish we could have our own family. But he wasn’t about to bring the party down, this was a celebration after all, of a life being lived and another life being brought into the world, and no matter how much pain he might’ve felt, in that moment; he was happy.

“I love you too Dean.” Cas could see that there was something behind Dean’s words and Cas thought he knew what it was by the way Dean was looking at him. Cas had his own meaning hidden behind his simple reply, a determination, and unwavering love and loyalty, and he hoped Dean could see it.

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A few hours later found Dean and Cas pulling into the airport parking lot in Dean’s old truck (there was no way the Impala was staying in a parking garage for several days thank you very much).

“God, I still can’t believe it. I’m gonna be an uncle. And Sam! Sammy’s gonna be a dad. Holy shit.” Dean said still smiling and in disbelief as he parked the truck in the mostly empty garage.

“I’m very happy for them. They will be good parents.” Cas said as he opened the door to exit the truck; going around and pulling his suitcase from the bed of the truck as Dean did the same.

“And you knew you jackass!” Dean joked and shoved at Cas’s shoulder good-naturedly, humor in his voice.

Cas laughed as they started to walk towards the entrance to the airport. “I only knew for a short time. She wanted my help with surprising everyone and that included you.” Cas took Dean’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly as they walked through the automatic doors.

Cas being used to flying led them over to the check in counter; that’s when Dean’s panic seemed to have set in. Cas could hear him breathing heavily next to him while he talked to the lady at the counter and received their tickets. After he thanked her and turned around, he pulled Dean to the side, the color had drained form Dean’s face as he stared at the security clearance area they would soon be going through.

 “Dean?” Cas asked patiently. No response, his eyes were darting back and forth between the short lines of people.

“Dean?” Cas asked again, a little sterner, still no answer as all the color seemed to fade from his face, leaving Dean’s normally slightly pink cheeks a ghostly white. Cas reached up and grabbed Dean’s jaw, turning him to face him and pulling him out of his trance.

“Dean! Look at me love.” Cas demanded in a voice usually reserved for the bedroom and it finally seemed to have broken through Dean’s panic when he locked eyes with Cas. Dean refused to look anywhere but directly in Cas’s eyes, finding a calmness there that brought him out of the hazy panic his mind had sunken into.

***

Dean felt like he was drowning in the shallow breaths he was taking. He knew Cas had pulled him away from the check in counter but all he could do was stare at the security lines and listen to himself breathe shallowly as the panic slowly pushed him further and further under the imaginary water his mind had told him he was sinking into. He faintly heard Cas call his name, but he couldn’t pull himself from this panic and the feeling of not being able to breathe properly; it had never been this bad before. Finally, he was pulled from the tight grasp of his racing thoughts as he felt a strong, familiar hand grab his jaw and a voice filled with deep gravel penetrate his brain, bringing him to stare into the deep ocean that was Castiel’s blue eyes. There, Dean found immediate calm from the storm that was taking over his mind and body. He couldn’t take his eyes off him, he knew if he did, he would go back to drowning again.

Dean swallowed hard as he waited for Cas to speak.

“It’s ok Dean. Take some deep breaths. Breathe with me love.” Cas spoke quietly as he started to make Dean breathe with him, hoping it would help. he didn’t want to push Dean, but he really wanted to take this trip with him. They stood there for a few minutes, Dean’s eyes eventually closing and resting his forehead against Cas’s as they breathed together.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean finally was able to find his voice, though it was rough and shaky. He leaned back and looked at Cas.

“The color is coming back into your face. You were hyperventilating and starting to have a panic attack. Are you sure your, ok? Do we need to leave?” Cas asked concernedly.

“No, I think I’ll be fine once we get through security, and I can get a couple drinks in my system. I may end up drunk before we even board the plane.” Dean tried to force a chuckle, but it only came out as a strained breath.

“We will get you as many drinks as you need once we get through. Now let’s go. The sooner we get through the sooner you can get drunk.” Cas winked at him, trying to lighten the mood. “Just keep your eyes on me ok.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dean agreed, following Cas over to wait in the shortest line.

Dean fumbled his way through the security check, trying to crack bad jokes at the guard only to get a blank stare back. Cas heard Dean mutter something about not having a sense of humor and he couldn’t help but laugh quietly at the thought that Dean was using humor as a calming tactic. Once they had their shoes back on and were wheeling their baggage along behind them, Cas noticed that Dean seemed to be a little calmer. Dean had looked at a map of the airport an found the closest bar to their terminal, he strode with purpose towards it, Cas trailing behind him.

This is going to be an interesting flight. Cas thought to himself as Dean claimed he needed several shots of whiskey before boarding even started. They got to the bar and ordered a few drinks, they had about 45 minutes to kill before boarding.

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By the time their flight was boarding, Dean was several shots in and starting to relax a little, but the announcement that first class would be boarding in a few minutes had Dean on edge once more. There were only a few people ahead of them in line, so they get on the plane quickly, finding their first-class seats, they put their bags away in the overhead compartment and sat down. Dean had the window seat and Cas took the isle. Cas found himself thankful that first class was only two seats wide instead of three.

 Dean was bouncing his knee and gripping the arm rests, Cas looked down and said, “Dean we haven’t even started taxiing yet.”

“I know. Just preparing to launch into space.” Dean grimaced nervously.

Cas chuckled and took his poor boyfriend’s hand. “I don’t think we will be going quite that high.”

“Close enough.” Dean looked at him incredulously and squeezed Cas’s hand with a death grip.

At that moment the flight attendant was walking by when Dean practically yelled, “Excuse me!” He winced at the loudness of his own voice. He didn’t want to be a troublesome passenger, but he needed a drink and he needed it now.

“Yes sir?” the attendant said politely.

“I need a drink as soon as possible. Now preferably.” Dean blurted out, trying to flash her his most charming smile, but it came out looking more pained and forced than anything.

“He has a phobia of flying.” Cas informed her calmly. Dean frowned but nodded nonetheless.

The attendant gave him a sympathetic smile and said, “I can offer you a bottle of water, but the drink will have to wait until we are in flight. I will come to you first when I am able to take orders.”

“That would be much appreciated, thank you.” Cas smiled as Dean just nodded resignedly. The attendant came back a few minutes later with two bottles of water for them and said they would depart the gate in a few minutes.  

Dean chugged his whole bottle of water then grabbed Cas’s when they started to pick up speed down the runway a few minutes later.

“You’re going to need to pee every 5 minutes if you drink anymore water on top of the alcohol you’re going to consume.” Cas commented.

He himself hated to use airplane restrooms so he knew Dean would hate it just as much. Plus, it will be harder in the inevitable inebriated state Dean was soon to be in.

Dean had thrown the empty bottle at his feet and grabbed onto Cas’s hand again, pushing himself into his seat and quietly started to hum a tune that sounded familiar.

Cas cocked his head and squinted a little, trying to place what Dean was humming. “Are you – are you humming Metallica?”

“It calms me down.” Dean shot back through gritted teeth.

Cas sighed and smiled. He felt bad for Dean and didn’t want him to think he was making fun of him, but he found him extremely adorable at that moment. “Whatever you say love.”

Dean threw him a dirty look as he continued trying to comfort himself with as much of Cas’s help as he could get.

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20 minutes after they reached altitude found Dean having to make his way to the restroom in the first-class cabin. He was off balance just from not being used to flying and he hated every minute of the bathroom experience. He took his seat right as the attendant came back to him like she promised to take his drink order first. He ordered a double whiskey and just a few minutes later he had downed it and asked for another; she complied but informed him that if he kept up the current pace, he would be reaching the serving limit quickly and she wouldn’t be able to give him any more drinks, reminding him it was over a 5-hour flight, and he had time. Dean of course was polite to her but grumbled after she left.  She didn’t need to know about the other shots Dean already had prior to boarding.

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3 hours into the flight found Cas’s head and eyes dropping, he was exhausted, and he couldn’t imagine how tired Dean had to be considering he will have been up for almost 24 hours by the time they would land. Gabriel was picking them up from the airport, it was hard to find a cab that late and not the safest thing to do in the middle of the night, so Gabe had volunteered. He would pick them up and they would go back to his condo and that’s where they would be staying. Somehow, Dean was still wide awake. He had downloaded a few movies onto his phone before they left so he had one headphone in and Cas had the other as they watched Back to the Future. Dean had reached the limit and was bumming drinks off Cas now. He wasn’t blackout drunk but was really drunk, drunk enough to have a mean hangover in the morning; but Cas didn’t mind because he finally was relaxed.  Cas had gotten a beer and was letting Dean drink a little of it but told him that it had to stay on his tray so the attendant would continue to serve them. Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder and closed his eyes in the darkness of the plane, only lit by the light from the phone in Dean’s hands.

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Dean was relieved when they were finally on the ground. Cas stretched and rubbed at his sore right hand as they taxied over to the terminal, Dean had gripped it so tightly when they were descending that he thought he was going to break it. It was raining in NY so that wasn’t helping Dean’s anxiety. When they finally stood up to grab their bags, Dean found that he was extremely wobbly and fell back into his seat. With this idea in his head, he stood up using Cas and the seat in front of him for leverage. Cas pulled down their bags and Dean grabbed onto his as he also grabbed Cas’s shoulder for support as to not fall forward. They exited the plane with Cas slightly dragging Dean out the door when he started to slur a thank you to the flight attendants who were stifling laughter as Cas nodded at them. Cas knew this was going to happen, so he was prepared to have to help Dean hold himself up.

They walked through the door and into the actual LaGuardia Airport as Dean slurred, “Everything is spinning Cas.” he plopped into a nearby seat as Cas pulled his phone out to turn it back on so he could see where Gabriel was waiting for them.

“Honestly Dean, I didn’t think you could get drunk anymore. Thought it was more like taking a vitamin for you.” Cas quipped with a laugh as he responded to Gabriel’s text.

Dean gave him his best bitch face and scoffed. “Well, I can’t deny that.”

“Come on, Gabriel is waiting in the passenger pickup.” Cas stored his phone in his pocket and turned to help Dean up. Dean took his offered hand, glad to have Cas there to steady him. They slowly made their way over to the passenger pickup area, thankful that the airport was mostly empty. Cas was thankful that once they were outside at the passenger pickup area, Gabriel wasn’t parked far from the door.

Gabriel got out of his car when he saw them coming, “Deano! And my favorite brother! How was the flight?”

Cas has his arm around Dean’s waist and Dean’s arm over his shoulders to keep him from wondering away (Dean couldn’t walk in a straight line to save his life). Cas rolled his eyes, and a bright smile plays across Dean’s face when he sees Gabe.

“Gabe! What’s shaking knomeo!” Dean yelled a little too loudly as he launched himself off of Cas and into Gabe, knocking him into the front of his car and almost on his ass (Dean was a giant compared to Gabriel).

Gabe rights himself and huffs out a laugh, “How much has this one had to drink?! Jesus!”

Cas was already loading the bags into the trunk while Dean accidentally attempted to smother Gabe with his hug. Dean unlatched himself from Gabe but left an arm thrown over his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall.

“Dean has a fear of flying but insisted on coming with me, so he had to get drunk to deal with it.” Cas closed the trunk and took his wobbly boyfriend off his brother. With the flight over and Dean’s body finally relaxed with no adrenaline in it, the alcohol seemed to be hitting him harder with the lack of sleep as well.

They climbed into the car; Cas pushed Dean into the backseat of the black 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz, where he sprawled out as much as his large frame allowed him, across the backseat, using his arm as a pillow, The bright red leather of the seats was cool against his skin, it reminded him of Baby. Cas was already seated as Gabe sat in the driver’s seat and closed the door.

Suddenly, Dean shot up from his laying position and said, “You never told me you had a classic car Gabe. No wonder you commented on Baby the first time you saw her.”

Gabe chuckled and rubbed the dash of the car, “Yeah, I restored her myself much like you did your Impala.”

“This was the first thing Gabe bought after moving out. He needed a car and the broken-down piece of shit that she once was, was cheaper than a newer car.” Cas explained as the engine rumbled, and they pulled out of the airport and onto the freeway.

“She ran for a year with no problem other than having trouble starting before I needed to do any major repairs on her. Then I slowly rebuilt her over those next 3 years. Good chunks of the time she was out of commission, but it was well worth it.” Gabe said with pride in his voice.

“I’ll say. She’s beautiful Gabe. Good job buddy.” Dean patted Gabe’s shoulder then laid back down, sticking his nose in the leather and breathing in the heavenly smell only genuine leather seats had; the smell his Baby had. He missed his car already. He chuckled to himself that he missed his car more than his family at that moment.

“I always thought you kind of looked like a pimp driving this thing around.” Cas interjected after the conversation had seemed to be over. This brought a laugh from Gabe and sent Dean into a fit of “giggles” as Cas called them, for the rest of the drive. (It was true though, Gabe looked like a pimp, a very short pimp.)

The drive at that time of night took only about 15 minutes to get to Gabe’s condo from the airport. As soon as Gabe pulled into the parking garage and into his spot at the top floor, Cas was having to wake Dean up. They didn’t even bother to get their bags out of the trunk as they were so tired. Cas helped Dean to the elevator and held him up as he seemed to be falling asleep on his shoulder. They practically fell through the door to Gabe’s condo, stomping and swaying their way down the hall as they both called out, “goodnight, Gabe!”

Dean added slurring more now from no sleep than the alcohol, “I’ll compli- comp- complimenent your shmancy place in the mornin.”

Gabe just laughed and shook his head as he yelled out his goodnight.

They stumbled through the door to the bedroom, both exhausted. Cas threw Dean down onto the bed and began to help him strip of his clothes. Once Dean was down to just his boxers, Cas stripped down to his as well. He crawled under the covers as Dean struggled to get to the bathroom to pee.

Cas was laying on his back as he heard a yelp and a crash from the bathroom, then came “I’M GOOD!”

Cas covered his face with his hands as his body started to shake from laughter. There was another bang and then a thump before a flush and the sound of Dean dragging his feet across the carpet and over to the bed. He crawled under the blanket and practically threw himself over Cas, twisting and tangling their limbs together in impossible ways. Finally with a goodnight kiss, they both fell asleep with Dean drooling into the crook of Cas’s neck and Cas snoring his head off.

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Only a few hours later Cas is being woken up by Gabriel, letting him know that Michael called, and they were at the hospital, but Anna wasn’t far along so to sleep a while longer and grab some breakfast then head up there. Cas grunted his acknowledgement and rolled over to burry himself in Dean’s warmth. 9am rolled around and Cas started to stir. He stretched and pulled himself out from under the human heater that was Dean. Dean grunts and grumbles but slowly opens his eyes.

“Good god close the curtains.” Dean grumbles, barely audible from turning over to bury his face in the sheets until Cas could close the curtains on the floor to ceiling windows.

Cas felt bad for Dean and immediately ran over and closed the blackout curtains Gabe had installed. A muffled thank you came from Dean and Cas chuckled as he walked over to him, placing a kiss on the back of his head and walking into the bathroom. Dean heard the shower turn on and slowly pulled himself up, knowing he would feel better after a shower. They showered in mostly silence, Cas taking over after Dean had to step out and throw up. Cas washed his hair; massaging the shampoo in as Dean sat on the shower floor. Then he helped him up and washed his body, it was all a lot less sexy than Dean would’ve liked but he was grateful Cas was there and helped him because he was loved. They got out and dried off, that was when they realized that they left their bags in Gabe’s trunk.

Dean shrugged his shoulders and wrapped the towel around his waist, Cas following suit and trailing him down the hall and into the living room.

Gabriel was in the kitchen, and they could smell bacon and eggs cooking. Dean takes a deep breath and follows his nose to the full coffee pot, where he got 2 mugs down and poured him and Cas some coffee. Gabe said his good mornings as he plated their breakfasts. When Dean turned around Cas held out 2 Advil for him to take. Dean nodded his thanks before he took them with his steaming black coffee.

“I went and grabbed your bags out of the car this morning. They are on the couch.” Gabe said, handing Dean and Cas their respective plates.

“Thank you, Gabriel.” Cas said, taking the plate and setting it down before he walked over and grabbed their bags, taking them into their room.

A few minutes later Dean wondered into their room and they both put on their clothes; Dean a black t-shirt with a maroon button down over it, a pair of jeans and his logger boots. Cas wore a grey long-sleeved shirt that hugged him in all the right places, a pair of the dark blue jeans that hugged his thighs in a way that drove Dean crazy and a pair of black pull-on boots. Cas knew what he was doing to Dean, he knew he looked good. He loved to watch Dean practically foam at the mouth all day. They went back out into the living room and ate their breakfast with Gabriel. When they were cleaning up Cas got a Call from Michael saying nothing had changed and they could take their time. Gabe decided to go ahead and go to the hospital and Cas said he wanted to take Dean into central park for a walk then they would head over. They went their separate ways when the elevator doors opened.

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They strolled through the park, walking past the Zoo, Cas promising to take him there when he saw Dean’s excitement. Cas then showed him the Balto statue, then continued to the Hallett Nature Sanctuary where they walked one of the trails. They laughed and talked and just enjoyed the company of one another when they finally decided it was time for lunch. Cas called Michael and he said for them to bring everyone something. Cas had suggested asking what Anna would want; she wanted their favorite Italian restaurant not far from Central Park. Cas and Dean grabbed a cab after Cas called in the order, when they pulled up, Cas got out and went in to get it. It looked fancy from the outside and kind of intimidating to Dean. He didn’t like fancy, fancy meant snobby in his experience. But he was going to try to relax, this was New York, and everyone went to fancy restaurants. Dean forgot all about the fanciness of the place when Cas came back, and the smell of garlic bread assaulted his nose.

They arrived at the hospital a few minutes later, Dean helped Cas carry the bags of food into the building, they used the directory and found the labor and delivery ward on the 7^th floor. They took the elevator up and found the nurses desk where Cas asked the nurse where Anna Novak was. The nurse smiled at them and pointed them down the hall to room 723. Cas smiled at Dean and placed a hand on his shoulder when they reached the door.

“Are you ready?” Cas asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Dean tried to give a smile.

Even if they didn’t need Cas’s family’s approval, it was still nerve wracking to meet them after hearing the way they all used to treat him, especially on such a special occasion. Dean was more nervous that all the progress Cas’s family Had made would come to a screeching halt when they actually met him. That is the last thing Dean wanted to happen.

“They will love you. Plus, it’s not like we need their approval.” Cas winked at him. “I love you regardless of what they think.”

Dean didn’t realize how relieved he would feel when Cas said that. He nodded and said, “Love you too Cas.”

With that Cas knocked on the door once, then pushed it open when a familiar female voice said for them to come in. Cas led the way into the room. They came around a curtain and saw a bed in the middle of the large room with a petite redhead sitting up in it, alone in the big space. There was nothing but the sound of beeping from one monitor and a whooshing heartbeat sound from the monitor connected to Anna’s stomach. Dean had never been in a delivery room before and was amazed by all the gadgets seeming to be connected to Anna.

“Hello Anna.” Cas said brightly with a smile. She smiled widely back, looking between him and Dean.

“Castiel! I’m so glad you could make it!” She beamed, then gestured for him to come over to her. Cas took the bag from Dean and set it on the small table next to the couch that lined the wall then walked over to her and gave her the best hug he could at the awkward position. He kissed her on the cheek then turned and grabbed Dean’s hand, pulling him over to the bedside.

“Anna, this is my boyfriend, Dean Winchester.” Cas said with pride in his voice, smiling at Dean then back at Anna.

“Dean, it is so nice to finally meet you.” She reached towards him, he leaned down to give her a small hug.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Dean said, smiling and feeling his body relax at her gentle nature.

“Where is Michael? And how are you doing?” Cas asked, taking a seat on the couch against the wall, Dean sitting next to him. Dean let his arm rest along the back of the couch, just touching Cas’s shoulders and neck, knees resting against each other. They always had some form of physical contact with each other, especially when seated.

“Michael, Chuck and Gabe went to get me some ice and juice. Sadly, I can’t eat after getting the epidural so the food will have to wait. But I’m doing good. Better since the epidural, contractions were getting intense after having them for so long with no medication.” Anna said as she ran a hand over her large belly.

Now that they both got a chance to look at Anna, they could see the dark circles under her eyes, she looked exhausted, and she was just getting started.

“I’m glad you’re more comfortable now. How much longer do you think it will be?” Cas asked.

Anna blew out a deep breath and explained, “Well, my water broke about thirty minutes ago and I’m dilatated 7 centimeters so hopefully not too much longer.” She rubbed a hand over her large bump, a look of love and longing to finally meet the baby crossed her face. It reminded Dean of the way his mother used to look at him and Sam. Dean had shed a few tears in the privacy of the Roadhouse bathroom after Eileen’s pregnancy announcement; he desperately wished his mother was there to meet her first grandchild. Dean could faintly hear Cas and Anna talking when the door to the room opened again and 3 men walked in, one of which was Gabriel.

“Castiel!” Michael exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across his face as he strode purposefully towards them, Cas standing to meet him with Dean standing a few seconds later. It was clear that Cas hadn’t expected a hug with such force from his older brother when the audible sound of breath quickly leaving Cas’s lungs could be heard after his brother slammed into him. Michael held onto Cas for dear life for a long while before finally patting him on the back and letting him go.

“Hello Michael. It’s good to see you again.” Cas said before the short, bearded older man who Dean could only assume was Chuck Novak, stepped up next to Michael.  Dean chuckled to himself when he notices that all of Chuck’s sons were taller than him, even Gabriel who was the shortest and closest to his father’s height was still taller by a hair.

“This must be Dean?” Michael asked, looking over at Dean and giving him a small smile. It seemed clear that they had been estranged for a long time by the care that Michael was treating the situation with.

Dean stepped forward after that and when Cas looked at him, he had been reserved with Anna; she seemed lovely, but now it was time to show who he truly was, and that was not someone to be trifled with and someone who loved fiercely.

Dean stood up straighter, bringing himself to his full 6ft 1in height before shooting Michael his most charming smile and reaching out his hand, “That’s me. Dean Winchester, Cas’s boyfriend.”

It came out as more of a challenge, but Dean relaxed when Michael smiled and took his hand, shaking it firmly then pulling him into one of those quick one-handed bro hugs. Dean knew Michael seemed genuine after that.

“Great to finally meet you. We’ve all heard nothing but wonderful things about you.” Michael announced.

“Cas has a way of seeing the best in me.” Dean couldn’t help but bragged a little.

Michael chuckled lightly before saying, “I see you’ve already met my wife, Anna.” Michael walked over to her and handed her a bottle of juice and a cup of ice, running a loving hand through her hair and kissing her gently afterwards.

Dean smiled at the loving gesture then turned to Cas.

Cas had a look of pure shock on his face. Never in his entire life had he seen his brother show any type of affection towards someone he was dating. It was obvious by Anna’s current situation that they were intimate, but it was completely out of the ordinary to see his brother show true love towards someone.

“Ya ok there Cas?” Dean quietly asked him.

Chuck and Gabriel laughed next to Dean, startling him somewhat. They both turned to look at Chuck and Gabe questioningly.

“Castiel has never seen Michael be affectionate towards anyone he ever dated, including Anna. Physical affection wasn’t something that my ex-wife encouraged, and Anna had to show him it was ok to be loving towards someone. Her loving nature has rubbed off on me and Gabriel after so many years in our family.” Chuck started, then reached out his hand towards Dean.

Dean took it and shook it, probably a little harder than necessary. “Chuck Novak, the boy’s father and soon to be grandpa.” He reached into the plastic bag he was holding and pulled out a baseball hat that said ‘WORLDS BEST GRANDPA’ in bold lettering and then pulled out a little stuffed brown bear that had on a t-shirt with the letter W on it. Anna’s face lit up as she took the toy.

“Dean Winchester. Cas’s boyfriend.” Dean introduced himself, looking Chuck in the eye. Daring him to make a nasty remark.

“It’s nice to meet you Dean.” The air around them was tense, Dean knew what kind of father Chuck had been when Cas was a kid, and you could tell by the protective stance Dean had taken in front of Cas that he knew. It was obvious Chuck could tell this because he continued, first glancing at the floor then meeting Dean’s eye again. “I know what you’ve probably heard about me…”

“Dad I –.” Cas started but was interrupted by Chuck.

“No Castiel, he needs to hear this.” Chuck held up a hand. “It’s obvious he is protective of you and I’m grateful for that. But Dean, you should know that I’m not the same person now that I was back then. There is no real excuse for my behavior, and I regret it deeply, Castiel knows this. But the reason I will give you was the influence and pressure my ex-wife had on me. She is a horrible person and I’m glad to say that I finally grew a pair and left her…. I only wish I would’ve done it sooner, when the kids were younger; especially Castiel. He got the brunt of it.” Chuck sounded genuine and the look on his face told Dean he deeply regretted much in his life.

“Thanks for being honest Chuck. But you know that this isn’t some phase.” Dean gestured between himself and Cas. “Cas is gay. He always has been, and we are serious about each other.” Dean reached for Castiel’s hand laced their fingers together, then continued, “Even if society isn’t ready for us to be able to get married or whatever, we genuinely love each other. I hope that doesn’t change the way you feel about your son because I know firsthand what it’s like to have a father that was disappointed in you.” Dean let out a deep breath, Cas looked at him with surprise plastered across his face.

He didn’t know that about Dean’s father and it didn’t seem like Dean meant for that to slip out. He made a mental note to learn more about Dean’s parents and childhood; he realized in that moment that he didn’t really know anything about what happened to Dean in the years between camp and when they finally reunited. He’d only heard the stories offered to him and they were mostly funny and in good humor.

“I was never the one with the problem about Castiel being gay. I knew before he did, I think. But his mother had other ideas. She is blind and ignorant.” Chuck sighed, “I love my sons, all three of them no matter who they choose to love.” Chuck finished, looking over Dean’s shoulder and straight at Cas, giving him a gentle smile.

Cas’s eyes were burning as he felt tears prick at the back of his eyes.

“Thank you, dad.” Cas said as he came around Dean and brought his father into a tight hug. All Dean could do was look on with a smile on his face, he could see that years of pain were being forgiven and forgotten and he was happy to witness it.

“Wow and I thought labor was going to be intense.” Anna broke the tension in the room with some humor.

The whole room had erupted with laughter when Anna said this from her bed as Cas and Chuck wiped the tears from their eyes.

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After the initial confrontation was over, they all ate together, Chuck telling embarrassing stories from when Cas was little and Dean answering questions about the ranch and his family. Dean was beginning to like the Novak family and he was glad to see them treating Cas right.

Anna’s labor began to progress slowly and after about 2 hours she asked to be alone with Michael. Dean, Cas, Chuck and Gabe all went out to the waiting room to entertain themselves. After another 2 hours of playing different card games, Michael told them they could leave but not to go too far. They went out on the streets and found a hot dog stand so Dean could try his first New York hot dog, after that they walked around and showed him some of the buildings and a few of the sights near the hospital. Around dinnertime Cas got a text from Michael telling them it would still be a while and to go ahead and go to dinner.

They chose a nice steakhouse and had a great dinner, all enjoying each other’s company. Dean got a huge steak with mashed potatoes and green beans while Cas got pork chops with mac and cheese and broccoli, everyone enjoying some whiskey or beer with dinner.  For dessert, they had a huge piece of chocolate cake they all shared. By this time, it was about 9pm. Cas called Michael as they stepped onto the streets and started to walk in the general direction of the hospital. He informed them that Anna was doing well but labor was getting intense and wearing her out. They hoped she would be pushing before midnight, or they would have to do a cesarean. Cas informed everyone of this, and they headed back to the hospital.

When they got back, they ducked into her room to say hello and good luck before they headed back to the waiting room. Chuck and Gabe were talking about something to do with the Novak Law Firm, so Dean and Cas decided to play cards again.

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Cas was sitting next to Dean with his head resting on his shoulder, closing his eyes to rest a while. They hadn’t heard anything from Michael in over an hour and they were all getting worried. Cas had talked to a nurse, and they said that Anna was pushing so that was a good thing, but that was an hour ago. Dean looked at his watch and saw that it was 5 after midnight, officially May 4^th. Not two seconds after that, Michael came bursting through the double doors that separated the waiting room from the delivery rooms, dressed in a gown with two little feet prints on his chest, somewhat out of breath with a huge smile plastered across his face. They were the only people in the waiting room and all of their heads snapped up at the abrupt noise in the still silence.

“It’s a boy!” Michael declared excitedly.

Everyone stood up and congratulated him, taking turns hugging or slapping him on the back. he told them the details of the baby and that they named him William.

“Will you all come back in the morning to see the baby? Anna had a hard birth, and she is exhausted.” Michael asked.

They agreed. “Tell her congratulations and we will see her in the morning.” Castiel said for them all, chuck, Gabriel and Dean nodding in agreement.

“I will.” Michael beamed before turning and heading back through the double doors.

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When they got back to Gabriel’s, Dean, Cas and Gabe all had a celebratory shot of whiskey, toasting to the newest Novak.

“Can’t believe we have a nephew.” Cas said in disbelief.

“It’s crazy.” Gabe agreed.

“Hey, have you told Gabe the good news?” Dean asked, looking over at Cas.

“No, I have not. I thought that should be something you shared, not me. He’s your brother.” Cas replied, running a loving hand down Dean’s back.

“Yeah, but they are your family too Cas. you could’ve shared it.” Dean said sincerely.

Gabe had been looking back and forth between the two of them confusedly and finally said, “Will one of you please let me in on what is happening right now!”

They both looked up having forgotten that Gabriel was across from them while they talked. then Dean looked at Cas with a bright smile; Cas nodded towards Gabe and Dean said excitedly, “I’m gonna be an uncle! Eileen’s pregnant!” he threw his arm in the air with a whoop.

“That’s great Deano! I’m happy for them and you both.” Gabe came in and hugged them tightly. They spent the next 20 minutes talking about life and what it was going to be like watching these kids grow up. Cas registered the sadness behind Dean’s lively smiles and his heart broke. He had never seen a man want kids so badly but think it was so out of reach.

They finished their conversation and headed to bed. when they crawled into bed and got situated, Cas felt Dean gravitate more to him than normal. He felt like Dean was holding onto him as if he was going to disappear and Cas found himself pulling Dean in closer; practically on top of him, carding his hand through his short hair and whispering ‘I love you’s’ until he heard his soft snoring. That night, Cas dreamed of little green eyed, sandy brown-haired kids running around the ranch.

And he smiled.

Chapter Text

Take Me Home, Country Roads 

 The next morning Dean was thankful he didn’t have a hangover. It was May 4^th, and they were going to go to the hospital to see Anna and the baby, then Cas was going to take Dean to see some sights. They would be here for two more days before they would head back to Montana. With a glance at the clock on the nightstand, Dean saw it was 7am. Dean rolled over and wrapped his arms around Cas, pushing his growing erection into the crease of Cas’s ass. Cas moaned and pushed into him. Dean nuzzled into Cas’s neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses from the nape of his neck and up behind his ear. The arm around Cas’s stomach moved up to roll a sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger, eliciting another moan and snap of Cas’s hip backward.  

Dean chuckled against his ear and continued his assault on his neck; letting his hand trail down Cas’s chest and over his stomach, pushing under his boxers to gently grip Cas’s cock. He stroked it slowly before Cas turned towards him and claimed his mouth in a passionate kiss. Dean’s hand came up to cup his face. They kiss like this for a while, languid and loving. Cas rolled his hips into Dean’s, gasping as his cock brushed against Dean’s hard length. Cas pushed his boxers down to mid-thigh and then pushed Dean’s down as far as he could get them. Dean put his hand in front of Cas’s mouth, and he darted his tongue out to lick a strip up it. Dean then reached down between their bodies and wrapped his hand around both of their cocks, swiping his thumb over both slits, gathering the precum there to aid in the slide of his hand.  

Cas rolled his hips, fucking up into Dean’s hand. Dean loved the feeling of Cas’s cock on his, he loved watching the way Cas came undone; the way his mouth hung open in a silent scream. Dean’s breathing sped up as he watched pleasure course through his lover. They were both breathing heavily as Dean jerked them faster, their breaths mingling as the fire built in both their cores.

Dean could see that Cas was close as he moaned loudly, “Fuck… Dean… Gonna cum…” Cas gasped out. 

Dean’s eyes widened with excitement, “Cum for me Cas… Wanna watch you cum.” 

With that, Cas squeezed his eyes shut as white-hot pleasure flooded his body, his release spilling all over Dean’s hand and both their cocks.  The feel of Cas’s release was slick on Dean’s cock, and it pushed him over the edge just seconds after Cas; he came with a guttural groan.  

They lay there for a few minutes, reveling in the post orgasmic high and trying to catch their breaths. 

“We should get up and shower. I have a couple places I want to show you.” Cas kissed the tip of Dean’s nose and rolled off the bed and headed into the bathroom, Dean not far behind him; only pausing for a moment to admire Castiel’s ass.  

                                               ------------------------------------------------------------- 

When they got done showering, they got dressed and went to see if Gabriel had made breakfast. When they got to the kitchen, they found that Gabriel was already gone. They ate quick breakfast of cereal and they left to head to the hospital to meet the baby. 

They arrived at the hospital and found Anna’s recovery room on the 8^th floor. When they approached the door, they could hear the baby crying and two very familiar voices to Cas, seemed to be arguing. Dean raised his eyebrow in question, Cas just shrugged and opened the door. They walked in the room to find Gabriel holding his screaming nephew, Michael trying to tell him how to hold him, and Anna and Chuck trying to stifle their laughter as they watch the brothers bicker over the best way to calm the crying baby.  

“No Gabe, you need to hold him on his side.” Michael said trying to get him to maneuver the baby. 

“I think I know how to hold a baby Michael, I used to hold Cas when he was a baby.” Gabe dismissed him.  

“Actually, Gabe almost dropped Castiel a few times.” Chuck said with a laugh.  

“Thanks a lot dad!” Gabe said defensively. 

“Hey, whoa! What’s the problem gentleman? Can’t get the little man to stop crying?” Dean asked, stepping all the way into the room, Cas right behind him with a hand on the small of his back, chuckling at his brother’s tiff.  

“Correct Dean-o.” Gabe said over the baby’s wails.  

“Let me see him.” Dean said, holding his hands out for the baby. They all looked at him questioningly. 

“What? I’ve held a baby before. Give’em here.”  Dean gestured for Gabe to hand him the baby again.

Michael shrugged and Gabe held William towards Dean. He took him gently and situated him in the crook of his arm and started to bounce slowly; looking down at the baby and smiling as he talked softly. After a few seconds, the baby stopped crying, settling down and making soft noises.  

“That’s it little man. Take a breather.” Dean said still looking down and bouncing the baby. 

When he looked back up, all eyes were on him. Everyone was looking at him like he had 3 heads except for Cas, who was looking at him like he hung the moon. Cas moved behind him, resting one hand on the small of his back and one hand one the back of the baby’s head, rubbing gently as he looked at the now sleeping baby.  

“Wanna hold your nephew Cas?” Dean asked. 

“Yes.” Dean turned into him and gently settled William into Castiel’s arms.  Cas couldn’t believe that he was holding his nephew.

 “He’s beautiful Anna.” Cas said looking at her with a smile. She had tears in her eyes.  

“Thank you.” She said, then, “How did you know what to do Dean? You were so good with him.”  

“I always wanted to hold my little brother after he was born, then I practically raised him, so I know a few tricks.” Dean said shyly.  

“It shows. You will make a great father someday.” She complimented.

Dean’s face fell at that, then he quickly schooled his expression, throwing a small smile at her and saying, “I think I’ll have to stick to fun uncle.”

 Anna just nodded, letting the conversation go at that. Cas, knowing Dean as well as he did, had been watching him and caught the wave of emotion that quickly played across Dean’s face in a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moment. Cas knew now was not the time to draw attention to Dean, so he held his tongue and had to resist the urge to wrap him in his arms. He loved seeing Dean hold his nephew, it made Cas long to see him hold their future children. 

Dean stayed quiet for the rest of their visit, lost in his own head thinking about the family he wanted so desperately to have with Cas. surrogacy was expensive and adoption was extremely hard for gay couples; especially 2 men. He would have to be happy to watch Sam and Eileen’s kids grow up and spoil them as if they were his own. Dean only hoped Cas would be ok with that…  

                                                 ----------------------------------------------------------- 

They visited for an hour and then decided to head out so Cas could show Dean around. They stopped for lunch and got real NY style pizza, then went to Time Square to see the Flat Iron building. They went to Grand Central Station, the Empire State building and Cas took Dean to the Central Park Zoo. Dean was ecstatic to see all the animals. While in Central Park they took a carriage ride; Dean making conversation with the drivers that were waiting for customers about everything horses and the ranch. They ended that night with a romantic, candlelight dinner at a small, quiet restaurant.   

The next two days were spent seeing more of the sights. They visited Anna and the baby once more before they left the hospital, wanting to give them time to get settled at home. Cas and Dean promised to come visit again. they saw the Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, and went to the Statue of Liberty, then had dinner with Chuck and Gabriel. They were supposed to leave the next day, but Cas hadn’t bought the tickets yet. He had called Sam and asked him how it was going on the farm and if they could take care of things for a few more days; he wanted to make it a road trip back to Montana.

Once Cas got the OK from Sam and Ellen, he called a car rental place and reserved a car for the trip home. They were in their room after dinner with Chuck and Gabe, Cas was already sitting in bed reading a book he picked up when they went to one of Cas’s favorite bookstores. 

Dean walked out of the bathroom, freshly showered and teeth brushed, he crawled into bed next to him.

“Did you get the tickets home yet?”  Dean asked.

Cas marked his place and set the book on the nightstand, sliding down the bed and further into the covers as he spoke, “No, actually I thought we could drive back. I already talked to Sam and Ellen; they said the extra few days it would take to get back would be no problem. They have it covered.” 

Dean sighed in relief, “Thank god, I really didn’t want to get on another plane.” He chuckled.  

“I didn’t want to put you through that again if it was avoidable.” Cas smiled. 

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Dean joked. Cas laughed and shoved his shoulder.  

“We pick up the car after breakfast, Gabe can drop us off.” Cas finished. 

“Please tell me you didn’t get a fucking Prius or anything like that because if you did, you will be driving home by yourself.”  

Cas laughed heartily and said, “No Dean. I did request a truck though. Thought you would enjoy driving that instead of a Prius on a back road.”  

Dean smiled at how well Cas knew him. If he couldn’t drive his baby, he wanted something with power behind it.

“Dear god I love you.” Dean reached forward and crashed his lips against Cas’s. Cas laughing against Dean’s soft lips.

 What started out soft and playful, quickly turned messy and heated, their hands wondering all over the others body only to end with Cas diving down between Dean’s legs. He spread his cheeks and started to lap at Dean’s tight hole, moaning as he pushed his tongue against him, knowing it would drive Dean crazy. Cas licked and sucked until Dean was a writhing mess above him; legs shaking as pleasure coursed through him. When Cas slipped one slick finger inside him and continued his assault, Dean came with a loud groan all over his chest. Cas pushed up on his hands and started to crawl up Dean’s body, licking up Dean’s release as he went. Dean let out another soft moan as he watched Cas look at him like he wanted to devour him. When Cas reached Dean, he kissed him hard, shoving his tongue in his mouth knowing Dean could taste his own release on his tongue. They both moaned and Dean grasped Cas’s shoulder and hip, flipping him to land on his back.  

Dean intended on repaying Cas’s efforts. He took Cas’s cock in his hand as he stroked him lazily. Cas watched in anticipation as Dean leaned down and took one of his sensitive nipples into his mouth, rolling the bud between his teeth, biting and sucking. Cas sucked in a quick breath and let out a needy moan. Dean pulled off and smiled.  

“I’m gonna make you feel so good Cas.” Dean whispered.

All Cas could do was nod his head. Dean dipped his tongue into Cas’s slit, lapping at the precum there, groaning when the taste of Cas hit his tongue. Cas’s mind completely went offline the minute Dean took Cas’s head into his mouth, running his tongue over it teasingly. Dean licked from base to tip of Cas’s cock and then without warning, took him fully to the hilt down his throat, rubbing up and down with his tongue in time with moving his head. This caused Cas to cry out in pleasure, cock twitching in Dean’s mouth. Cas was glad that Gabriel’s room was on the other side of the house in that moment. Dean was an expert, Cas always enjoyed watching Dean suck his dick because he could easily take him all the way down his throat; and Dean loved to do it. Witnessing the way he could tear Cas apart with his mouth was extremely hot.  

It didn’t take long for Cas to reach climax. Cas’s hand flew to Dean’s hair, gripping it tightly as his hips bucked up into Dean’s throat. Dean relaxed his throat and moaned, knowing it would send Cas over the edge. Cas scraped Dean’s scalp with his blunt nails as he stiffened and let out a deep moan; his vision going white as his cock throbbed and he shot hot ropes of cum down Dean’s throat. Dean greedily swallowed every drop of Cas’s salty release, loving the way Cas held his head. He pulled off Cas’s slowly softening cock with a pop as Cas lay limp, trying to catch his breath.  

“Holy fuck Dean.” Cas mumbled when he could finally speak again.  

Dean smirked and winked at Cas. “I know, I’m awesome.” He leaned down and kissed him softly, then reached over and turned the light off.  

“And somehow it gets better every time” Cas said still out of breath.  

Dean chuckled and joked, “aww shucks Cas, you’re making me blush.”

“Oh, shut up.” They both laughed, always finding it easy to joke with one another. He kissed Dean once more before they situated themselves and fell asleep.  

                                                          ----------------------------------------------- 

“Did you have fun last night?” Gabe asked with a wink and a raised eyebrow when Cas and Dean walked into the kitchen the next morning. Dean threw his head back with a laugh and walked over to the coffee pot, Cas’s eyes went wide, and his face turned 50 shades of pink.  

“How did you hear anything? Your room is on the other side of the condo.” Cas defended.  

Gabe plated the eggs, bacon and toast and handed a plate to Cas.

“I had some work to do last night so I was in the living room. I ended up putting on headphones after a minute or so.” Gabe was chuckling at his brother’s embarrassment and Dean was still laughing behind him.

Dean came around and set one coffee cup next to Cas who was standing at the end of the counter, Cas yelped when Dean took him by surprise when he smacked him hard on the ass. Cas tried to hide behind his coffee for the rest of the meal as Dean and Gabe talked about Cars.   

                                                                 ------------------------------------------- 

Gabe pulled up to the car rental place right outside of Manhattan, parking in one of the visitor spots. They got out and Dean grabbed their bags from the trunk while Cas went in to sign the papers for the rental.  

“Well Gabe, always a pleasure to be graced with your presence.” Dean said with a smile. 

“Likewise, Dean-o.” Gabe joked back, then his expression turned more serious, and he patted Dean’s shoulder, “You take care of my baby brother.” 

“I will. I may regret telling you this later…” Dean chuckled, knowing this was going to give Gabe some blackmail. “But I really do love him…. So fucking much.” 

“I know you do…. And boy is he head over heels for you.” Gabe tried to lighten the heavy mood that had settled over them with the more lighthearted comment. “I’ve never seen him as happy as he is with you. And just so you know, he wants a family with you… He’s always been the family type. On the night he had his breakdown, he told me he hoped he would find someone who loved him for who he was, and they would start a family.” Gabe paused trying to gage the shocked expression on Dean’s face.

“I know it won’t be easy for you… But when Cas puts his mind to something there is usually no stopping him.” Gabe laughed. 

Dean chuckled, and his gaze fell to his feet before he looked back up. “Yeah, considering he uprooted his entire life for his own health is pretty determined.”   

Gabe nodded in agreement. “Y’all looked good holding a baby. I agree with Anna, I think you will both make great fathers one day.” Gabe said genuinely. 

Dean tried to give him a smile, but it was halfhearted. He didn’t know how to respond to something like that and if he was honest with himself, he kind of felt like crying from getting that compliment for the second time in as many days. He was about to say thank you when Cas thankfully walked up and saved him from having to stumble through a response. If Cas noticed the slight tension in Dean, he didn’t mention it and Dean was glad for that.  

“Gabe stop threatening Dean.” Cas said, figuring his brother would be giving Dean some sort of ‘hurt my brother and I will kill you’ speech. Cas could see something was being said by how tense Dean was standing when he walked up, he wasn’t sure what was going on, but he didn’t want to put him on the spot. He would ask when they were alone if it seemed necessary.

Cas stepped towards his brother and pulled him into a warm hug. “Thank you for putting us up at your place. We had a wonderful time.”

“No problem little brother. Hope you can come back soon.” Gabe said happily.

“We will. Gotta come see that nephew before he’s 30.” Dean joked.

They all laughed and said a final goodbye as an employee of the rental place pulled a blue, 4 door Chevy Silverado up to the curb next to them. Gabe waved at them as he pulled out of the parking lot. They loaded up the bags into the backseat. Dean got in the driver’s seat and Cas in the passengers, and they pulled out of the lot, ready to head back home to the ranch.

                                                      --------------------------------------------------

They started to drive west and shortly after leaving they decided to take a small detour and go to Scranton, the home of their favorite TV show The Office. They drove through the town then ate lunch at Cooper’s seafood, then had a beer at Poor Richards pub. They had a lot of fun on their little detour and were glad they decided to do it.

They got back in the truck and drove until they got tired; almost 9 hours. It was 10:30pm by the time they rolled into Cincinnati Ohio. Dean stopped at the first decent hotel he saw, exhaustion taking him over as he pulled into the parking lot. Dean went inside to get a room while Cas pulled out their bags, meeting him in the sleek looking lobby a few minutes later.

Dean turned from the desk and walked over to where Cas was sitting in the lobby. Dean had been too tired to notice that he pulled into one of the fancier hotels in the city until the clerk at the desk gave him his total for one night. He choked on air for a moment before handing over his credit card, he was too tired to get back in the truck to find a cheaper place and it wasn’t like he was hurting for money. Dean couldn’t help it, he was a frugal man.

Cas stood as Dean came into earshot, he could see the sour expression on Dean’s face as he put his card back into his wallet, all the while cursing under his breath. Dean stopped in front of Cas and finally took in his surroundings. The lobby was all glass and black and white with a small water fountain in the middle with the guest seating.

“What’s wrong Dean?” Cas was trying to hold back his chuckle at Dean’s obvious look of realization of how fancy the place actually was.

“I wasn’t paying any attention and didn’t realize we were staying at the fuckin Ritz.” Dean said pinching the bridge of his nose. Once again reminded of not liking fancy things and somehow, he was the one to pick the expensive hotel.

Cas let his laughter out, tilting his head back as he settled a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I don’t think the bill was quite that expensive.”

“Close enough.” Dean said indignantly. “Come on, let’s go. I just hope the bed is at least slightly comfortable with the price I just paid.”

Dean held out one of the key cards to Cas, he took it and intertwined their fingers as they both grabbed their bags and headed for the elevators. Dean grumbled the entire way to the elevator and the whole ride up to the 5^th floor.

Cas rolled his eyes as he slid the card into the receiver then turned the handle when the light flashed green.

“Dean stop grumbling and just enjoy the luxury for once.” Cas flung the door open and stepped through.

He had stayed in this hotel chain before, so he knew what was to be expected and he wasn’t disappointed. Dean’s jaw dropped at the sight of the room; the parking lot had been almost full, and they did tell him they only had luxury suites left but this was more that he could’ve ever expected. He followed Cas into the room, before turning and hanging the ‘DO NOT DISTURB' sign on the outside handle before shutting and locking the door.

He stepped further into the room to see that it was like a small apartment. There was a tiny kitchenette with a sink, toaster and microwave, a small living room with a couch, coffee table and tv, then in the corner sat a small desk and chair with a lamp on it. He walked in and down the short hallway to find Cas in the bedroom, face down into what looked to be a very soft king size bed. The room was dimly lit, an array of blues, light tans and white made up the color scheme of the room and matched well with the dark wood floors. Floor to ceiling windows looked out over the large city, light from the buildings flowing in through the open curtains.

Dean walked over and plopped on top of Cas, forcing a muffled grunt and air to rush from his lungs.

 “Warn a guy.” Cas choked out.

Dean laughed and buried his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck. Cas hummed in approval then laughed when his stomach made itself know. They had gotten so caught up in talking about places they wanted to visit that they forgot to stop for dinner; exhaustion taking over their minds.

“We forgot to get dinner.” Dean mumbled.

“No shit Sherlock.” Cas quipped back.

Dean smiled and a hearty laughed escaped him. “Come on Watson, let’s order a pizza. This is a big city, I’m sure there is something open.”

20 minutes later there was a knock on the door and the delivery man stood there with the pizza they had ordered. They ate in mostly silence, then they stripped down and crawled under the cool sheets. The bed alone made Dean glad he accidentally chose this place; it was almost as nice as his bed at the ranch. They curled around each other and drifted off to sleep.

                                                    ----------------------------------------------------------

Dean woke with a start when his alarm blared on the nightstand next to the bed. “Ooff.” He grunted as Castiel’s elbow connected with his stomach.

 “Ugh, turn it off. M’sleepin.” Cas grumbled.

Dean chuckled as he turned the alarm off. stretched and turned over to cuddle up to Cas. “And I thought I was grumpy in the morning.”

“You are like a grumpy bear in the morning, I am a normal person that has grown to not like mornings because of my job.” Cas stated, a little more awake now. He had his arms wrapped around Dean.

“Cas… That was a really long answer for it being so early.” Dean teased him.

“Shut up, Dean.” Cas said putting his hand over Dean’s face. Dean snorted and poked Cas in the side, eliciting a yelp and playful smack on his shoulder.

A short time later they had both showered and packed their stuff back up. They got something from the complimentary breakfast the hotel offered and check out. They hit the road, planning on making it Sioux Falls South Dakota and spending the night there before making the final leg of the trip home the next day. This day was uneventful, it consisted of jamming out to music, stopping for lunch, eating and talking about all the snacks they liked. Dean took offense and was thoroughly grossed out that Cas liked salt and vinegar flavored chips. Dean was a food and snack lover but put his foot down at salt and vinegar chips.

The drive took around twelve hours and they made it into Sioux Falls at 7:30pm. Cas was having a craving for Chilis so that is where they ate dinner. Dean complained only halfheartedly, stating that there was a perfectly good diner across the street. Cas just rolled his eyes and pulled Dean through the door of the Chilis by his shirt collar. After they ate they found a decent hotel, (Not nearly as nice as the one in Cincinnati but it would do) they found they were exhausted, so they showered and fell into bed early; around 9:30 and both passed out.

The next day started the same as the last, they woke early, showered and got ready to leave. This time they found a small diner in town and got breakfast there. If they had their timing correct, they would roll into town at about 8pm. What they were both regretting was that they drove themselves to the airport and Dean’s truck was still in the parking garage. They would have to drive past the ranch and into Bozeman to get the truck and drop off the rental before they would be able to get home. fortunately, they were dropping the rental off at the airport car rental place so at least they wouldn’t have to go far to drop it off.

Cas was quieter today and Dean took notice. He didn’t say anything to him about it yet, he thought maybe he was just tired, but he just seemed to be deep in thought. They had both enjoyed the others company and there was no tension between them, Dean just thought Cas seemed a little off.

Dean was right, Cas was deep in thought. He was realizing how many questions he had for Dean; what happened to his mother, how his father died and what he did after he got back from camp that year. Dean had told him that he went back to the camp for a few years after, but he never talked about anything else. Dean knew so much about him, and he felt he knew nothing about Dean’s real life during their time apart; only the good or funny stories that got told. They were only a few hours from home when Dean broke through Castiel’s thoughts.

“Something on your mind sweetheart?”

Cas looked over at Dean, trying to gauge if this was the right time to bring this up. Dean had a soft smile on his face as he glanced from the road to Cas and back again.

Cas took a breath and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure can sunshine.” Cas loved when Dean called him nicknames like that, it made his mind settle a little.

“Can you tell me about your childhood?” Cas asked cautiously.

Dean seemed to stiffen a little but said softly, “You’ve heard a lot of stories about my childhood already.” He was deflecting and Cas knew it. He would have to be more specific.

“Yes, but those have been all funny or cute stories.”

“Not the one when I had to drive Sammy to the ER on my handlebars when he broke his arm.”

Cas chuckled, “That was a sweet story about an older brother being a hero to his little brother.” Cas insisted.

Dean blushed a little at the praise from him. “Ok fine. But what else is there to know?” Dean asked, not chancing a glance at Cas. he knew what Cas was fishing for. He would tell him if he truly wanted to know but he preferred to leave those dark days in his past.

“You’re going to make me drag it out of you aren’t you.” Cas huffed.

Dean took in a few deep breaths and glanced at Cas quickly. Cas could see the emotion in his eyes.

“You’re going to have to ask me specifically. I won’t revisit it willingly.” Dean remarked, voice slightly pained though not unkind.

Cas reached over and laced their fingers together and lightly squeezed. “Dean you know everything about me… The good and the bad. I know it’s hard, but I don’t know anything about your childhood except for the good. I need to know what happened so I can be there for you if I ever need to be. I love you and I want to know everything.”

Dean looked at Cas for a beat, he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter before he smiled gently, knowing Cas was right and he did want him to know everything.

Cas continued, “I won’t push you, but I need to know Dean. I know your parents aren’t here anymore, but I don’t know what happened to them. If we are going to be together and make this work, I need to know everything. I promise nothing will change the way I see you or my feelings for you.”

“Ok Cas. I agree with you. But can you give me some time to gather my thoughts. It’s a lot I have to bring up. You gotta understand that I’ve buried it for so long… I’m just going to need some time. but I promise I will tell you whatever you want to know.” Dean squeezed his hand back.

“Of course, Dean. Take all the time you need. You have been there for me through everything since I moved here, and I just want the opportunity to do the same for you.”

Dean was grateful that Cas understood. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to share his past with him, it was that he had pushed it so far down he needed some time to find everything so he could answer all of Cas’s questions.

“I love you Cas.” Was all he could find himself able to say.

“I love you too Dean.”

And just like that Cas turned the radio up and the tense moment had passed as John Denver’s Take Me Home Country Roads played through the speakers. Dean rolled down the windows as they sang, loud and laughing as they drove home through the mountains.

                                                        ----------------------------------------------------

They pulled into the airport car rental building and dropped off the truck. It was a short walk to the parking garage and then they rode the elevator to where Dean’s truck was parked. Dean was happy to be in his old Dodge and said as much as they pulled out onto the highway. The 45-minute drive from Bozeman to the ranch seemed to drag on slowly. Dean had called Sam when they were about five minutes from the ranch to bring Miracle down to his house; he had been staying with Sam and Eileen while they were gone. Dean couldn’t wait to see his dog and his horse and all his other animals. He planned on checking on everyone he could before he went to bed that night even thought it would be late.

By the time Dean parked his truck in front of their house it was after 9:30pm. They were exhausted. Cas was thankful that Ellen said he could have the day after they got back off to rest before coming back to work. The next day was Monday and Cas always worked Mondays. They got out of the truck, and both stretched. Cas was grabbing their bags out of the backseat as they heard the jingle of dog tags in the distance. Dean turned to look up the road to see Sam walking down the dirt driveway that led from his house to Dean’s; two little shadows could be seen running in front of him.

Dean smiled widely, squatted down and yelled, “Miracle! Come here boy!” with a whistle at the end, arms wide open.

The dog picked up pace, bounding towards him and jumping into Dean’s waiting arms, knocking him on his ass. Sam’s dog Thor was trailing behind, running as fast as his short legs could carry him. Dean hugged Miracle and gave him all the scratches as he stood up with him in his arms. Cas smiled as he set their bags on the ground, shutting the truck door and coming over to greet the excited dog. In the time Cas had moved here, he had developed a love for this dog. He had always liked animals, but this dog was special. He made Dean happy, and Cas loved to watch them when Dean would be out riding and Miracle would be running next to him, helping with the cattle. Cas found himself attached to the dog and he missed him terribly while they were away. Cas scratched behind his ear as Sam and his growing pup made it to them.

“Good to have y’all back!” Sam said, wrapping Cas in a hug before he turned to his brother who had put Miracle down and gave him a bear hug.

“Good to be back.” Dean smiled.

“I’m very glad to be back. It was nice to see my family and the new baby but I’m glad to be home again.” Cas said, rubbing small circles on Dean’s lower back. Dean loved the way Cas referred to the ranch as home.

“It was nice to see all the sights but glad to be back. We are fucking wiped though.” Dean chuckled.

Sam shook his head in understanding and laughed.

“I swear that dog looks weirder every day.” Dean said, looking down at Thor who was now playing with Miracle.

“Yeah, he’s a weird one.” Sam laughed

“How is Eileen?” Cas beat Dean to the question.

“She’s doing ok… The last week has been really rough on her, morning sickness that has lasted all day, but she seems to be feeling a little better this evening. Hoping it was only a temporary thing.” Sam said blowing out a breath.

Dean looked at him sympathetically. He knew it was always hard for Sam to watch anyone he loved be sick, especially Eileen.

“That’s rough, tell her we hope she feels better. I’ll make her my homemade chicken soup she loves so much tomorrow.” Dean offered.

“I will. Thanks Dean, she will appreciate that.” Sam smiled a relieved smile.

“I’ll come check on her in the morning as well. I missed her. Tell her to drink some Gatorade and eat some saltines when she feels sick. I had a friend with the same problem a few years ago when she was pregnant and that always helped.” Cas added. He hated to think his friend didn’t feel well.

“I will, thanks Cas. Well, you guys look like you could sleep for a week, so I’ll let y’all go. Night guys.”

“Night Sam!” They said in unison with a wave as he walked away. Sam called for Thor to follow him as he walked back up the road.

Dean turned to Cas and shook his head while laughing. “That dog is just as awkward as Sam is.”

“You aren’t wrong.” Cas laughed. “Come on, lets get inside.”

They grabbed their bags and went inside the house. Dean flipped on some lights as Cas took their bags upstairs. Dean fed Miracle and made Cas a cup of his favorite tea with honey in it while he was up there. When Cas came back into the kitchen, he took the cup from Dean’s hands and smiled softly, thanking him.

“I’m going to go check on the horses and the longhorn while you drink your tea. Meet you in the bedroom?” Dean asked.

“Of course, Dean.” Cas said over his mug, just taking in the feeling of being back in his home.

Dean gave him a warm smile before he opened the door and heading out to the barn.

Cas took a few more sips of his tea before he pulled a cold bottle of water from the fridge for Dean and went upstairs to their room; Miracle hot on his heals. When he entered their room, he set the water bottle on Dean’s nightstand and his tea on his while Miracle curled up on the foot on their bed for the night. Cas went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and strip off his clothing. Once that was done, he came back out and threw the comforter back, crawling under the blankets and resting on the soft sheets, sinking into the memory foam of the expensive mattress. He missed their bed. He picked up his book from the nightstand and read while he waited for Dean.

***

Dean went to the barn and switched on the barn lights. The three horses in the barn stuck their heads out of their stall doors and nickered at him. He greeted each one with pets and a couple treats before he went to the fenced off acre that held Daphne, the longhorn Cas got him for his birthday. He had named her after Daphne from Scooby doo. She lowed at him when she saw him open the gate. She came up to him and gently rubbed her face on his chest. He gave her an apple he took from the barn then shut the gate, making sure it was locked and headed back to the house, it was too dark outside for him to see the rest of the cattle so it would have to wait until morning.

Dean walked back into the house and locked the door behind him. He kicked his boots off in the closet by the front door and ran up the stairs; his memory foam mattress was calling his name and he couldn’t wait to be in it. He walked through their bedroom door, shutting it behind him. He smiled to himself as he saw Cas completely engrossed in the book he was reading, Miracle sprawled out between his legs; head resting on one of Cas’s legs. Dean went into the bathroom and took a quick shower like he always did after a long drive, then he got out and brushed his teeth before he walked out into the bedroom and crawled under the covers. He melted into the memory foam, glad to finally be back in their bed. He hummed in appreciation as he pulled the blanket up around his neck and closed his eyes.

“Glad to be back in your bed?” Cas asked with a laugh. He set his book on the nightstand and slid down the bed so he was face to face with Dean.

“Fuck I missed it.” Dean smiled and reached out a hand to run his thumb across Cas’s cheek. He leaned in and kissed him soft and slow.

They separated and Dean said, “Night Babe.”

“Goodnight love.” Cas reached over and flipped the light off before he curled up on Dean’s side, head resting against his chest. They slept hard, happy to be back home.

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The next week went by like normal, neither one of them brought up the previous conversation about Dean’s childhood. Cas knew Dean would tell him when he was ready, so he gave him space. It seemed obvious to Cas that Dean was thinking about it; he would catch Dean starring off into the distance, lost in his own head. Cas went over to see Eileen the morning after they got back while Sam and Dean were working the ranch. He missed her and he filled her in on everything that happened in New York. Dean and Sam came back for lunch and Cas helped Eileen make some sandwiches for them. Her morning sickness did seem to be getting better, they were all thankful for that.

That first day after they got back was hell at the ranch. The cattle were perfect angels while Dean was gone and now, they were acting like the spawn of Satan. Half the heard was on the land that butted up against the back of Dean’s property because they decided to break down the fence the night he got back, his prize bull that was normally pretty sweet for a bull was acting like he wanted to kill anyone who came near the pen, and one of his cows pushed her baby away so now he had a bottle baby.

This baby was born while Dean was gone, and Sam had said everything went smoothly and they seemed to be fine. It was after lunch that he saw the mother pushing and kicking at the calf, not allowing her to nurse. The mother was one of his homebred cows and this was her first baby. Sometimes first-time mothers don’t know what to do with their baby’s, so Dean spent the better half of the next two hours trying to help them bond. This had only happened in his heard one other time, and he considered himself lucky.

Dean knew there might be something wrong with the calf since the mother refused to accept her. It was unusual since Black Baldy’s were known for being exceptional mothers. He brought her into the barn to further assess her and to call their vet. Upon looking at her closer he could see that she was smaller than she should be and hadn’t put on much weight; a sign she wasn’t getting much or being allowed to nurse when she needed too. Dean shook his head and called the vet. He was going to take a look at the mother as well to make sure she wasn’t sick and to see if she was still producing milk. Right when he got off the phone with the vet, Cas walked in with a handful of carrots for the three horses.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said with a smile as he stopped in the barn isle. He registered the stressed look on Dean’s face and asked, “Everything alright?”

Dean was rubbing the back of his neck; his mouth opens with a response when the little black calf answered for him with a long low. Cas raised an eyebrow as he stepped around Dean to look into the birthing stall, eyes landing on the bouncing and bleating calf. She didn’t look like the rest of Dean’s Black Baldy heard, they all had mostly white faces, but this baby was solid black save for a quarter sized white dot in the middle of her face. It was comical looking, and Cas couldn’t help but smile and chuckle.

Knowing Dean only ever had the cows in the barn when one was giving birth if need be, he asked, “Why is there a calf in the barn? Where is the mother?”

“The cow is a first-time momma and she decided she didn’t want her baby anymore. So, this little lady is going to be a bottle baby. I was fixing to go make her a bottle, she should weigh more than she does right now. Vets on his way out to take a look at her and the mother.” Dean explained while leaning against the stall door next to Cas.

Cas had a saddened look on his face. He loved all animals and felt bad for the little calf. “Poor baby. What caused the mother to do that?”

Dean sighed, “Many things can cause it. The fact that this was her first calf could be it, the little thing doesn’t look like she’s been able to nurse a lot. It could be there is something medically wrong with her also. She seems perfectly fine except that she is too small for her age. That’s why the vet is coming out. He will make sure she is healthy, and he’ll check momma out too.”

The little calf came to the stall door and looked up at the two men standing over the door. She then started to playfully bounce in a circle while mooing loudly.

They both laughed, “That makes sense. You are a wonderful rancher Dean.”

Dean blushed, “Thanks Cas.”

“Can you teach me how to feed her? I want to help with her.” Cas asked hopefully.

“Of course! Come on, I’ll show you how to make a bottle while we wait for the vet.”

Dean showed Cas where he kept the bottles and the formula in the feed room, he instructed him on how to mix it and that the calf will need a couple bottles a day but thankfully, no late-night feedings. Dean let Cas mix the bottle and then showed him how to feed her. Dean was grinning from ear to ear at the way Cas was smiling as he talked to the calf while she drank the bottle. He watched as Cas talked lovingly to her, rubbing her head and calling her a cutie. Dean felt as if his chest was going to burst with the adoration and love he felt for the man before him.

The vet got there shortly after they finished feeding the calf who was now attached at the hip to Cas.

Dean was laughing as the vet was walking up, “I think she thinks you’re her mother Cas.” Dean was now doubled over with laughter as the calf put herself between Cas’s legs and rubbed her head on one leg.

Cas didn’t know what to do but he knew he was head over heels for the little baby cow. He reached down and scratched her head.

“What’s so funny Winchester?” The vet, a man named Crowley asked in a thick Scottish accent as he came to stand next to Dean. Fergus Crowley was a short stocky man with a dark five o’clock shadow. He had on his signature black apparel, black boots, black slacks and a black button down. Dean never could figure out why he wore what he did in the business he was in.

Dean attempted to stop laughing as he straightened up. “Hey Crowley.”

Crowley looked into the stall and said, “I assume mother hen here is your boyfriend.” Crowley stepped into the stall to shake Castiel’s hand.

Cas laughed as he tried to push the calf away so he could shake the man’s hand. “Yes, I’m Castiel. It’s nice to meet you.”

“The names Crowley. Local vet extraordinaire.” Crowley quipped.

“Yes, your very good, can we get the diagnosis without the dramatics.” Dean joked sarcastically.

“Can I get you without the flannel? I think not.” Crowley rolled his eyes then smiled.

Dean and Crowley had known each other for years; he was their vet for any animal that Sam brought home once they moved to Montana and had been the vet for the ranch since Dean bought the first cow, they considered one another friends and Crowley was a snarky bastard.

“Alright. Let’s have a look.” Crowley said as he set the bag he was carrying down in front of the stall.

When the calf became interested in the new man, Cas managed to slip out of the stall. He was observing what the vet was doing and the exchange of questions and answers about what was going on between Dean and Crowley. Cas heard a rustling and turned to look down the shed row and out the large, open barn doors. He expected to see Miracle coming to see what was happening, but what met his line of sight was the complete opposite. Castiel’s eyes went wide and his breath hitched as he saw what looked to be a giant, solid black wolf with piercing blue eyes slowly stalking down the isle.

“…Dean…” Cas said tentatively, resting a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Cas knew there were wolves in Montana, but no normal wolf would waltz right into a busy barn… right?

Dean immediately looked up from his conversation with Crowley. He saw that the color had drained out of Cas’s face and a look of pure fear was left behind.

“Cas? What’s wrong?” Dean asked, quickly noting that his eyes never left a particular stop down the isle.

Cas couldn’t seem to do anything but stare at the large animal, his body frozen in fear. Luckily Dean seemed to get the message and followed Castiel’s gaze.

When Dean looked down the isle, he saw the giant wolf like creature. He chuckled and squatted down. “Come here girl!”

Cas couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Dean what’re yo…” This was the moment he thought Dean had lost it. He backed up a step as this giant animal picked up pace and barreled into Dean’s arms, licking his face.

Dean scratched her all over then stood up. Cas looked on in shock, just now noticing the red, spiked collar and tags around her neck.

“It’s ok Cas. She’s Crowley’s. Her name is Juliet.” Dean insisted then stood as she ran into the stall to greet her owner.

“What the fuck is that thing!?” Cas exclaimed, seeming to find his voice.

Dean continued to laugh.

“It’s not funny Dean. She scared the shit out of me.” Cas said, no real anger behind his words. He clutched his chest as he willed his racing heart to slow down.

“I’m sorry Cas. There’s nothing to be afraid of though. Once she gets to know you, she’s a big sweetheart.” Dean said sympathetically.

Cas was no longer afraid of her, now more curious. He had never seen a wolf up close before.

“How did he come to own her?” Cas asked Dean as he looked into the stall, watching Juliet crouch down on the shavings behind her owner.

“Someone dumped her and her two siblings at Crowley’s clinic in town when they still didn’t have their eyes open. Her two siblings went to a local wolf rehab and release group a few towns over, but Juliet stayed with Crowley because she was very sick. Poor thing was sick for months, just one illness right after the other. At one point Crowley thought he would have to euthanize her, but she pulled through.” Dean explained, then pointed to the way she had her back to her owner and was keeping an eye on everything. “See that?”

“Yeah. Why is she laying like that?” Cas asked curiously.

“She’s protecting him. She’s watching his back while he works. She does this every time. She’s trained to keep angry cattle momma’s from attacking Crowley while he’s working on their baby.”

“She always comes with him?”

Dean nodded. “She’s been making vet calls since her eyes were open. He wanted to expose her to everything, plus she hated being in a kennel at the clinic.” Dean laughed, remembering the first time she tore up her kennel.

Crowley cut in at that moment, removing his gloves and closing his bag. “She’s a little bugger but she’s mine. I had cameras so I caught the person who dumped the pups. Come to find out she’s a Wolf Husky mix… Not something to be trifled with and while she was sick, I made sure she was exposed to everything so she wouldn’t be aggressive. After being so sick though and with humans constantly she became impossible to release. She would’ve died. So, me being a vet and her thinking I was her alpha already, I adopted her. Fortunately, she’s the best dog I’ve ever owned and has zero traits of aggression in her.”

Crowley said something to her in a language Castiel didn’t recognize. She immediately came to his side.

“That’s amazing. And very kind of you to take her in.” Cas said, he truly thought that was an amazing story and you could see the bond the two of them had.

The vet went out to the small pen to check on the mother cow. He concluded that her milk supply had dried up after birth and that most likely was why she pushed the calf away. He assured them that both would be fine. The calf would stay in the warm barn at night and during the day until she got a little bigger, then she could go out into a pen for a few hours during the day. Dean always shut the barn doors at night but now he would have to make sure that happened.

                                                          ------------------------------------------------

It was almost a week since Cas asked Dean to tell him about his childhood. They had a decent week considering all the problems at the ranch, but they enjoyed getting to catch up with the family at the roadhouse every night. Cas went back to work on Tuesday, and it was a busy, late week for him. Today was Saturday, he had gotten off early after dinner with the family and went home with Dean. He had become the calf’s fulltime caretaker. Cas decided to name her Dot because of the small white dot on her forehead. Dean chuckled when he told him the name but quickly changed his tone when Ellen smacked the back of his head (They were at the roadhouse at the time.) He wasn’t really making fun of Cas and Cas seemed to know that when he laughed heartily at his scolding.

After they ate with the family, they closed the bar early and went home. Cas had just finished feeding Dot her evening bottle when Dean came into the barn. He leaned against the stall door before opening it and stepping in. He knew Cas’s routine with the baby, he would sit with her until she fell asleep on his lap then he would escape to the house. So, he settled down against one of the walls, stretching his legs out in front of him and taking a deep breath. Cas settled against the wall across from him, the little calf came and curled up as close as she could get to Cas and then laid her head on his lap; he ran his hand down her neck and shoulder in a comforting manner. Dean smiled again, the same way he did the first night he caught them like this, only Cas had fallen asleep as well. He had snapped a picture and that was currently his home screen on his phone.

“I… I think I’m ready to talk now…” Dean said quietly, trailing off.

Cas looked up in surprise. He hadn’t expected this conversation to happen tonight.

“Whatever questions you have… hit me.” Dean continued.

“Oh… Ok. Ummm. Well, I don’t know any other way to ask this and please know that you can always answer me later if you don’t think you can now.” Cas started but Dean interrupted with, “Cas… I’m a grown ass man. I’ll be fine. Shoot.”

“OK… How… How did you mother pass Dean? What was she like?” Cas asked nervously. He really cared and wanted to know but he didn’t want to make Dean uncomfortable in any way.

“She was…” Dean had a far off look on his face before he came back to Castiel. “She was the sweetest, most supportive mom. She loved me, Sam and our dad fiercely. She was always at our events cheering us on and made us tomato and rice soup when we were sick…. She sang Hey Jude to me every night to help me sleep or comfort me. It was her favorite Beatles song…”  A sad smile crossed Dean’s face as the happy memories came flooding back. This was going to be harder than he thought. Cas remained quiet, letting Dean continue at his own pace.

“Then the car accident happened. I was ten. She was coming home late from helping a friend. She was hit by a drunk driver… She died instantly.” Dean didn’t realize his eyes were burning and a tear had slipped down his face, until the salty taste of it touched his lips.

“Dean… I’m so sorry…” Cas didn’t feel pity for the man, only sadness that he lost his mother at such an early age.

“After the accident, my dad turned to the bottle. Looking back now, the dad we knew and loved died in that car crash too, replaced by a cruel shell of the man he once was.” Dean sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “It was a shock to me and Sam. My dad was a great father when my mom was alive. He played baseball with me and took me and Sam fishing. His love for my mom was strong and the man we knew all but disappeared that day. He went from a loving father to a cruel man who couldn’t give a damn about his boys.”

Cas was genuinely shocked. He had no idea how Dean’s mother had died or what his father did after the fact. He saw that the calf was asleep, so he slipped out from under her and scooted over to Dean, wrapping an arm around him, and wiping away a tear. “I really don’t know what to say. I’m sorry I made you dredge all that back up. It clearly is hard for you.”

Dean smiled weakly, “It’s ok Cas. I haven’t revisited it in a while, and you were right. You need to know. Any other questions?”

“If your sure your ok to continue to talk yes, I have a few more.” Cas said.

“I’m good, I promise. What else you wanna know?” Dean turned to face Cas who was now fully sitting beside him. Cas took his hand and started to rub loving circles over his knuckles.

“I know Ellen and Bobby raise you and Sam… how long did you stay with your father before you moved in with them?” Cas asked gently.

“My dad couldn’t hold down a job. He was constantly drunk. Kind of ironic that he turned into a drunk since it was a drunk driver who killed mom. Luckily, he rarely drove because he was too drunk to even walk. Sam was only six when this happened, so I took care of Sam. I also took the brunt of dad’s rage outbursts. I never wanted him to direct it towards Sam, so I always stepped in.” Dean absentmindedly clutched his wrist with one hand, memories of the old bruises John caused coming to the forefront of his mind. Cas continued to listen intently.

“I didn’t know what to do other than to try my best to take care of Sam and dad. When my grades started dropping, the school noticed and started trying to get ahold of my dad. And when a bar owner called the sheriff to tell her John hadn’t been coming home to us, that’s when Jody started doing drop-ins. The night Bobby and Ellen stepped in was the night Jody stopped by and dad wasn’t home. She stayed at the house with me and Sammy for over two hours before he stumbled in drunk and she confronted him, he swung at her. She arrested him on the spot for child abandonment and assaulting an officer. She personally took on the case of Ellen and Bobby getting custody of us. They ended up legally adopting us but kept our last name.” Dean finished.

“I had no idea they legally adopted you. although that makes sense. Seems like the less control your father had over you and Sam, the better.” Cas said, still tracing circles on Dean’s hand.

“That was the idea. He spent a little time in jail, and when he got out he got to see us but had no authority over us. Anyways, long story short; I didn’t talk for several months and when I did it was only to Jody. She went through everything with us, so she became part of the family. My dad finally drank himself into oblivion and died of liver failure when I was 20 years old. Even though it was sad to see him go, we were glad to finally see him free of his suffering and know that he was with mom again.” Dean looked at Cas then gave him a soft kiss, needing the loving touch after such an emotional story.

“Thank you for telling me all that Dean. I’m sorry you lost your mother so soon. It truly is tragic. And I’m sorry your father turned so horrible. But you did good with the hand you were delt. You took care of Sam and have built an amazing life for yourself.” Cas said softly.

“Thanks Cas. Did you have any other questions?” Dean asked.

“One more… did you ever go back to the camp after we met?” Cas asked. He wished he could’ve returned but was curious if Dean would’ve been there if he had.

“I did. The following two years actually, both hoping you were there. My last trip was right before my mom’s accident. It happened a month after I got back. I didn’t go back after that.” Dean had a sad look on his face as he continued, “When I got home the year you left, I told my mom all about you. I told her that I loved you and missed you. She encouraged me to go back the next year and the next to see if you would be there. See you were all I talked about for two years with her… She would’ve loved you. And she would’ve been happy that we are together now.” Dean ducked his head shyly.

Cas was shocked that Dean told his mother about him, let alone that he loved him. “I think I loved you back then too Dean. But we had no idea what it was. I’m glad you had your mom to talk too. And I think she knows we are together… And that you are happy.”

“I am happy Cas.” Dean assured him, leaning into his space and pressing their foreheads together. “So, fucking happy.”

Cas smiled, “Me too love.” Dean leaned in and kissed him, slow and passionate.

Eventually Cas found himself on his back in the shavings with Dean pressed against him.

“We should probably move this inside.” Cas suggested in a husky voice.

“Yeah, yeah your right.” Dean agreed, slightly out of breath.

Before Cas knew it, he was being pulled to his feet. Dean tugging him out of the stall and out of the barn. Once the barn doors were shut, they rushed to the house. They burst through the door and stumbled up the stairs, all while trying to get the others clothes off the quickest. When they finally fell into bed, they made love, long and slow, late into the night.

Chapter Text

Seaside Rendezvous

The next two months went by relatively fast; Cas worked at the bar and had talked Dean into getting some chickens. They spent the better half of an entire weekend building a chicken coop that would be able to withstand the harsh Montana winters. Once it was built, Cas practically dragged Dean to the feed store to buy the baby chicks. Dean couldn’t wipe the grin off his face while he watched Cas pick out the four little chicks. Cas spent several hours making sure they had everything they needed, and he would check on them multiple times a day. When Cas wasn’t working, he spent his time helping Dean and Sam build a new hay barn and fencing off another section of land behind Dean’s house for an arena. Dean wanted to make it a covered and lit arena so he could ride whenever he wanted without weather restrictions; it wouldn’t be the same as a free ride down the fence line, but it would do. Especially for training. Dean also started giving Cas riding lessons (no not the sexy kind).

The first lesson went something like this: JULY 2010

Cas walked into the barn like any other day, to give the three always eager horses their carrots; when he found Dean doing something he’s never seen him do before. Cas stopped in the doorway and cocked his head to the side. He had seen Dean clean out the horse’s hooves more times than he could count but this was a new one. Dean was holding what looked to be a giant nail file and he was filing one of Zeppelins hooves.

Cas took a few steps closer as he continued to watch him. “Dean? What the hell are you doing?”

Dean finished the hoof, gently dropping it on the ground and standing up straight to look at Cas with a smile. “Hey Cas. have you never seen me do this?” Dean had sweat beading on his forehead and Cas had to pull his mind from the gutter.

“No, I think I would’ve remembered you giving a horse a manicure.” Cas gestured to the file in Dean’s hand.

Dean laughed and said, “I guess you could call it a manicure. I’m trimming his feet and then I’ll put his shoes back on him.”

“Oh, that makes sense. It’s much like our own fingernails?” Cas asked, genuinely curious.

“Exactly. Zeppelin here is sensitive on his front hooves, so he has shoes to help him be more comfortable. I’m actually almost done, just this last hoof.”

“Don’t mind me, I just came for my daily carrot sharing.” Cas explained.

At that moment, Zeppelin turned his head to look at Cas and nickered at him. They both laughed as Cas walked up to the horse and gave him his carrot. Dean resumed his work, taking the new shoe and nailing it to the hoof. He was done by the time Cas got back from giving the other two carrots to the other two horses.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Cas asked, referring to the shoeing Dean was just doing.

“I went to farrier school after I graduated high school. I would trim and shoe horses on the weekends and when I needed extra money before I got the ranch. Now I do our horses. It’s a good skill to have when you own your own ranch and have multiple horses.” Dean explained.

“Always so resourceful. I love that you do so much for your animals.” Cas had a proud smile on his face that made Dean duck his head with a blush on his cheeks.

“Thanks Cas. Hey I was thinking… Since Eileen can’t ride her horse for a while, would you be willing to ride her, so she stays in shape?”

“Dean you know I don’t know how to ride a horse.” Cas said surprised.

“I know but I could teach you. You can’t really live on a ranch and not know how to ride a horse now can you.” It wasn’t a question; it was more of a statement.

“You have a good point there.”

“Besides…” Dean continued as he walked around Cas, then smacked him on the ass, “Gonna have to break in those boots and jeans you love so much.” He shot him a wink as he untied Zeppelin and took him over to the crossties.

Cas laughed and rolled his eyes. “Ok. When is my first lesson?”

“Right now. Go get Sadie and bring her over to the other crosstie. You know how to saddle up so your already halfway to being a cowboy.” Dean joked as he walked to the tack room to grab his saddle.

The eye roll Cas gave Dean was almost audible and Dean knew he was getting one. Cas walked up to Sadie’s stall and grabbed her halter off the hanger. He greeted her and put it on, leading her out of the stall and into the crossties. Sadie was a big, sweet, 15’2 hand, bay Quarter Horse mare. She was about 8 years old, and Dean had trained her himself. He rescued her off a slaughter truck when she was 3. She was untouched and scared but with Dean’s gentle training method, he quickly gained her trust. Anyone could ride her, Dean made sure of that when he was training her. She had seen everything and anything anyone could throw at her, and she always took it like a champ. She was great for beginners and fun for the more experienced rider.

Cas brushed and saddled her like a pro, Dean no longer felt the need to check behind him, he had been helping saddle the horses for a couple months.

“Ok, let’s go.” Dean said and Cas nodded.

They led the horses out of the barn and Dean held the reins as Cas put his foot in the stirrup as per Dean’s instructions. He heaved himself up and into the saddle, both hands on the horn as he got his other foot into the stirrup.  

“Relax. She’ll take good care of you.” Dean chuckled at Castiel’s noticeable nerves.

At that, Cas nodded and tried to let his shoulders relax. He reached down and grabbed the reins, looking at Dean for more direction.

“Ok, so she’s well trained so she’s sensitive. All you have to do is lay the reins over either side of her neck to go left and right and lightly pull back to stop. Give her a light squeeze with your legs to start walking, cluck to her for a trot and kiss to her for a lope. Don’t worry about those last two, we will probably just walk for today. Keep your heels out of her side unless you want her to go faster.” Dean explained.

Cas felt a little lost but nodded and said, “Sounds easy enough. One hand or two?”

“Only one hand. And try not to yank on her mouth.” Dean mounted his horse and turned to Cas. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Cas smiled nervously.

Dean grinned and turned his horse towards the gate leading to the main back pasture. Cas gave a small tap with his heels and Sadie started to follow Zeppelin. Dean opened the gate to let Cas through, closing it behind him. they rode down the fence line, Cas getting more comfortable with every step and every encouraging word from Dean.

“You’re a natural Cas. Wanna pick it up a little?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded and they picked up a trot. It took Cas a minute to get used to the new rhythm but once he got the hang of it, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Dean was so happy to see Cas having a good time. They cut through a patch of trees before they came to a clearing and a clear stream. They slowed back down to a walk, walking side by side along the stream.

“This place is beautiful.” Cas said.

“It is. This stream is my favorite spot on the ranch. It’s just so peaceful.” Dean replied, looking around at everything that he loved. His land, his horse… and Cas.

“I can see why.” Cas smiled at him.

They followed the stream for a while longer before turning and heading back to the ranch. A few acres away from the barn Cas challenged Dean to a race.

“You sure your up for that? It’s only your first ride.” Dean asked.

“What? Is Dean Winchester afraid of getting his ass kicked?” Cas teased.

Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh. “Dean Winchester isn’t afraid of anything.”

“So, it’s a race?” Cas raised a challenging eyebrow.

“Against my better judgement, yes. Last one to the gate is naked first!” Dean joked.

Cas laughed heartily and with a kick and kiss to Sadie, they were off! Dean didn’t expect Cas to try to take off at a full gallop, so he was trailing behind. Luckily, Zeppelin was a leader and he wanted to be in the front. It didn’t take much pressure from Dean for him to pick up his pace.

Cas couldn’t believe the free feeling of galloping through a pasture. Time seemed to slow to him as he focused on the sound of the horse beneath him breathing heavily as she tore through the pasture. Cas leaned forward to let her have her head.

“Doing good Cas!” Dean called as Zeppelin came charging up beside them. They were neck and neck when the gate came into view. Cas started to pull Sadie back, but Zeppelin was still charging forward. Cas was confused, he thought Dean was going to run into the gate.

“Dean?” Cas called. Then, as Cas pulled into a trot, he saw Dean sit deep in his seat and he and Zeppelin came to a sliding stop only a few feet from the gate. Cas came up to him smiling.

“Show off!” Cas yelled and Dean laughed at him. “That was exhilarating.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. Come on, let’s get these horses cooled off.” Dean responded.

They took the horses to the barn and untacked then rinsed them down and put them in the grazing paddock with Sam’s horse Duke.

Cas held his end of their race bet up and was indeed, the first one naked when they got back to the house.

                                                               ------------------------------------------

AUGUST 2010, present

“Cas you almost ready!?” Dean called from the kitchen where he was sipping his coffee.

“I’m coming!” Cas yelled from somewhere on the second floor.

 It was entirely too early to be awake even for Dean who was used to getting up at the ass crack of dawn. Cas came down the stairs yawning and scratching his head. He was fully dressed and carrying two duffle bags over his shoulders.

“Hey now! Don’t start that shit.” Dean barked, a moment later a yawn overtaking him. “Damn it!” He cursed.

Cas was confused at first then chuckled when Dean yawned right after he did. “I’m sorry Dean, I’m just not used to being up this early.”

“You and me both.” Dean took another sip of his coffee and handed a cup to Cas. “How did I let you talk me into this?”

Cas took the cup with a grateful smile and chuckled. “You get up early every morning. How is this different?”

“I get up at 5am, not fucking 3am.” Dean grumbled.

“You will thank me when we get there.” Cas drained his mug and rinsed it out in the sink, Dean doing the same a moment later.

It was the beginning of August and Cas had convinced Dean to go to a beach on the west coast for a vacation. They would stop halfway there, somewhere in Oregon that night and then make the rest of the trip the next day. They had no set destination for that night. They would make their way up the coast the next day and into Manzanita Oregon where they would be staying in a beach house owned by one of Castiel’s old co-workers named Balthazar. Castiel still talked to him and considered him a close friend. When Balthazar called Cas the month before, Cas had asked him if he still had the beach house. He did and immediately insisted they use it for a few days.

Dean did one more walk through the house, making sure lights were turned off and any candles Cas had bought were not lit. When he came back down the stairs, Cas was turning the light off in the kitchen, Miracle bouncing excitedly at his side.

“Did you pack the leash for Miracle with his food?” Cas asked as he met Dean in the entryway.

“Yeah, it’s in the bag with the toys. That and the bag of food are already in the trunk.” Dean informed him.

“Then let’s go.”

They left the light in the entryway on, and each grabbed a duffle bag and headed out the door. Miracle ran down the steps and over to the Impala to wait for them to get to the car. They threw their bags in the trunk, Dean let Miracle into the backseat, and they slid into the front seat. They headed down the driveway and onto the road.

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They drove for a couple hours, in no rush to get to their destination, before they stopped for brunch at a small diner. They ate outside next to the car so Miracle wouldn’t be by himself.

When Dean shared his fries with the dog, Cas jokingly grumbled, “And to think, you never share your fries with me, but you will with miracle.”  

Dean just laughed and stole a fry from Cas’s bag to which Cas gave him his best bitch face.

They drove for a while longer, winding their way through the mountains of Idaho, stopping in a National Forest to see the sights and let Miracle get some energy out. When Dean announced he was starving, Cas pointed out that they ate three hours ago. Dean blew him off and insisted he was ready for lunch. Cas rolled his eyes; he would never admit that he was hungry again too. Dean soon found a taco truck in a small town they were passing through.

They rolled into the town they were staying the night in around 5pm. They found a hotel that had the rooms on the outside of the building so they could sneak Miracle inside. Dean refused to pay a pet deposit because Miracle wouldn’t be alone and wouldn’t mess anything up. Cas just rolled his eyes and ran the dog inside the room before anyone could see. That night they ordered a pizza and accidently fell asleep early. They passed out while watching a movie they rented on the hotel tv. With that being said, they accidently slept in the next morning, neither one setting an alarm before they started the movie.

Dean woke to Miracle licking his face. It was only after he realized that it wasn’t Cas kissing him that he sat up quickly and grabbing his phone to see the time.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean groaned.

It was 10:30am and they had to be checked out by 11am. Dean cursed under his breath before shaking Cas awake. They quickly got dressed and packed up before Dean went down to check them out while Cas threw the bags in the trunk and got Miracle ready for the next half of their trip. They took the long way to their destination. Dean wanted to drive along the coast, so they drove down to the coastal town of Newport Oregon; it was a little over two hours south of where the house they were staying at was in Manzanita Oregon.

The Oregon coast was beautiful. Since they got up so late, by the time they got to the coast the sun was starting to set. So, for the two-hour drive from Newport to Manzanita, they got to watch the sun set. It was beautiful and they stopped a few times along the way.

They made it to the beach house just after dark so they couldn’t see much. Dean punched in the code and the large iron gate swung open. The driveway was lit by ground lights around its entire perimeter and up the walkway to the house as well.

“Jesus what does this guy do?” Dean asked as he pulled through the gate and parked by the front door. The house was impressively large, Cas had only seen pictures of it that Balthazar had showed him.

“He owns multiple businesses and invests his money smartly. He also has a house in Mexico and one over in London where he grew up.” Cas explained.

“Wow. Where did you meet him again?” Dean asked as they got out and grabbed their bags, Miracle jumping out of the car and following them.

“A Christmas party at the company I worked for in New York. He was a partner in the company, so he came around a lot.” Cas found the key under the rock by the door and unlocked it. They stepped in and Cas flipped on the light switch. The entryway was large and inviting with cream-colored walls and dark wood floors.

“Woah.” Dean said in surprise, looking around and taking in the crystal chandelier hanging in the foyer.

They walked down the hallway that opened into a large kitchen. The spacious living room was further into the house, to the left and down another hall was a few bedrooms and the master bedroom. behind the living room and down some stairs was another bedroom and a game room. There was a glass wall with a door that opened out to the backyard and a huge patio. There was an oval shaped pool with a water fall that overlooked the beach and ocean. The backyard was lit beautifully but they couldn’t see the beach since night had fallen. Cas had taken the bags in the master bedroom while Dean walked down the stairs and out into the backyard.

Dean walked over to the pool and stuck his hand in. to his surprise, it wasn’t cold, it was fairly warm. He concluded that it must be heated. That’s when Cas came out the door.

“How’s the water feel?” Cas asked stepping up beside him.

“I expected it to be cold but it’s actually warm.” Dean explained as he stood up.

“Balthazar said it was heated at night. It’s automatic so we don’t have to worry about turning it on and off.” Cas wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist and turned him into him, kissing him softly. When he pulled back Dean had a wicked grin on his face.

“What’s that look for?” Cas asked.

“Wanna go skinny dipping?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and gave Cas his most charming smile.

Cas chuckled and pushed Dean’s flannel off his shoulders. Once they had both stripped their clothes, Dean pointed out to the darkness and said, “Hey look at that!”

“What?” Cas stupidly looked where Dean was pointing, and Dean shoved him in the pool.

Cas fell in with a yelp as he hit the water. He popped up and shook his head, wiping a hand down his face. He smiled and laughed with Dean who was standing at the edge of the pool, doubled over in laughter. Dean didn’t see Cas swim the few feet over to him, he reached up and grabbed Dean’s arm, yanking him into the pool headfirst. Dean yelled as he toppled in. He resurfaced quickly, still laughing he swam over to Cas and tried to push him under. This turned into a wrestling match which ended with Dean crowding Cas against the poolside and kissing him fiercely. They stayed in there for a while, lazily making out before getting each other off on the side of the pool.

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The next day was rainy, so they stayed in and ordered the Chinese place Balthazar had recommended and watched movies all day before venturing out and going to a seafood restaurant on the beach. The day after that, they woke to sunshine streaming through the curtains. They were staying for two more days, and it was supposed to be sunny and warm until they left. They planned on spending their remaining time on the beach.

“Cas! Grab some of those beach towels in the closet!” Dean yelled from the kitchen. He had his old cooler open and sitting on the counter.

“Ok Dean!” Cas called from somewhere down the hall.

Dean had just put some ice and a twelve pack of beer into the cooler, now he was finishing up the sandwiches he was making. They had stopped in the town to get some groceries last night after dinner. Cas came in with the towels and sunscreen, he was dressed in a pair of blue swim trunks that hugged his thighs and he was shirtless. Dean looked up and did a double take as the coffee he just took a sip of dribbled down his chin.

Cas stopped short, setting the towels on the counter and smirking, “Something wrong Dean?” Cas knew exactly what Dean’s staggered expression was for.

Dean hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing Cas in a swimsuit yet, they had been too busy to go swimming all summer. You would think that seeing Cas completely naked would be better, but for Dean there was just something about Cas in swim trunks. Dean had on a white and blue striped tank top and a pair of black swim trunks. Cas was enjoying the view his boyfriend had on display as well, he loved Dean in shorts of any kind. It was a rare thing considering what Dean did for a living.

“Jesus Cas, it should be illegal for you to look that good in those trunks.” Dean said wiping his chin.

Cas laughed, “It probably is somewhere.” He joked. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Dean put the sandwiches on top in the cooler and closed it. He grabbed the cooler and a plastic bag filled with chips and some other snacks, while Cas grabbed the beach bag that he had put the towels, sunscreen and a big blanket into.

They walked out to the Impala and threw everything in the trunk. Dean let Miracle in the backseat, and they climbed in the front. The house had a private drive that went down to the beach. It wasn’t necessarily a private beach, but the house was the only one around for several miles in both directions. Tourists and locals alike tended to stay to the beaches that were more city central and well know. Dean drove down the narrow stone drive down to the beach. Luckily, the sand was well compacted, so the Impala had no problem driving on it. Dean parked and they all exited the car. There were stairs that led from the beach up to the backyard, and at the bottom of those stairs was a small shed. Balthazar had told Cas that there were some floaties and a few surf boards if they had any interest in that. Cas was an avid surfer, he learned as soon as he got out of his parents’ house. Being around the water reminded him of Dean, he went surfing every weekend during the summer until he got too busy at work.

Dean grabbed the cooler and the snack bag while Cas grabbed the tote with the blanket and towels. They walked towards the water a ways until they found a good spot. Dean set everything down and pulled out a tennis ball for Miracle. He showed it to the dog then threw it down the beach. The excited dog ran after it and brought it back to Dean. Cas looked down the beach in both directions, sighing in contentment as he saw that there wasn’t a soul in sight. They spread out the blanket and kicked off their flip flops and both plopped down, enjoying the breeze coming off the ocean.

“Dean, you should put some sunscreen on, your legs are blindingly white.” Cas chuckled and threw the sunscreen at Dean. He couldn’t help but laugh at how white the ranchers’ legs were, though he was genuinely concerned.

“Hey fuck you!” Dean caught the bottle, chuckling and shoved Cas’s shoulder with his other hand. “I don’t burn.”  

“Your legs are as white as the snow; you will burn, and I don’t want you hurting. I don’t want anything to hinder my plans for later.” Cas said with a wink.

He had decided to try another tactic. And it seemed to be working if the look on Dean’s face was any clue. Dean’s eyes went wide at Cas’s suggestive smirk, and he quickly popped the cap of the sunscreen and lathered himself up; Cas got his back for him and then he helped Cas apply some to himself.

They settled down on the blanket and Dean threw on his sunglasses as he folded his arms behind his head and leaned back. He had taken his shirt off and was planning on getting as much of a tan on the rest of his body as he could. He currently was sporting a dark tan on the upper half of his body. It was quite the contrast to the white of his legs that hadn’t seen any sun all summer. Dean tended to take his shirt off when he was working on the ranch in the hot Montana sun…. Cas always enjoyed those days.

Cas tended to wear shorts more often, so he had a more even gold tone to his skin from working alongside Dean.

Minutes turn to a few hours and before they know it Cas is shaking Dean awake so they can eat lunch. The sun was hidden behind some clouds for the time being. It hadn’t been as bright as it was supposed to be with clouds coming in off the ocean, casting shadows along the beach. They ate and joked around with one another, taking turns throwing the tennis ball for Miracle.

Another hour passes, Dean laying on his stomach with his eyes closed, Miracle napping at his side when Cas got up and walked over to the shed by the stairs. Dean looks up in curiosity but didn’t say anything as he enjoyed watching Cas’s dump truck ass walk away from him. He shifts and turns slightly as his dick takes interest. He tries to think of other non-sexy things because he plans on staying on this beach for a while longer and there will be plenty of time later to satisfy little Dean’s urges.

Cas disappears into the small shed, coming out moments later holding a…. Surfboard? This peaked Dean’s interest, and he lifted his head to watch Cas walk towards him. When Cas reaches him, he sits up.

“Since when do you know how to surf sweetheart?” Dean asked.

Cas set the surfboard down to inspect it before he took it out for a spin. “I started surfing after I left my parents’ house. It was just another way of not forgetting you.” Cas smiled at Dean. “Like I said before, being in or around any type of water always reminded me of you.”

“Aww Cas you’re making me blush.” Dean joked. Cas laughed and picked the board back up.  

“I haven’t been surfing in several years though… I hope I don’t make a complete fool of myself.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Like riding a bike right!”

“Hopefully.” Cas didn’t sound convinced. With a wave to Dean, he walked towards the water.

Dean watched him as he ran into the cool surf and flopped onto the board and paddled out to the deeper water. The waves weren’t huge, and Cas was glad for that. He sat on the board and waited for a decent wave to come by. He could see Dean and Miracle watching him from the shore. He saw a wave coming in and started paddling. It wasn’t big but it was enough to push the board and for him to stand and ride it out. He was all smiles and laughs as the wave pushed him onto the sand; glad he didn’t fall and bust it. Dean cheered from their spot further up the beach.

They stayed on the beach all day, Cas going out when the waves looked good, throwing the football Dean brought back and forth and playing in the surf with Miracle. Eventually they got hungry, and Miracle needed a bath. He was completely soaked, and his fur had an extreme amount of sand caked into it. He looked brown instead of the creamy tan color he really was, but he had a blast playing with Dean and Cas. They left the Impala on the beach, knowing they would come back down to watch the sunset after they gave Miracle a much-needed bath.

They got to the top of the stairs and walked over to where there was a water hose on the side of the house. Cas turned it on, and Miracle attempted to run away but Dean was quick, catching him around the chest and picking him up with a grunt.

“Oh no you don’t. You’re disgusting.” Dean laughed.

 He set the protesting dog on the ground and squatted down, keeping a hand on him so he wouldn’t run away. Cas handed Dean the hose and disappeared through the back door. Cas came back a moment later and handed him a bottle of dog shampoo. Dean had rinsed off as much of the sand off Miracle as he could without soap.

 “Thanks. Where did you find this?” He asked as he poured a liberal amount all over the dog and began scrubbing. Cas squatted down and started to help as Miracle turned to lick him in the face in protest of the bath. (The dog loved the water but despised baths like most animals do.)

“Balthazar has a Mastiff that goes everywhere with him and loves the play in the ocean from the stories he’s told me.” Cas explained.

Dean laughs as he reaches for the hose. “I can only imagine the drool that accompanies him.”

“Yes… The amount of drool is quite the sight.” Cas physically shivers and has a look of horror on his face which only makes Dean laugh that much harder; he doesn’t see the clue that Miracle is about to shake. He shakes and soaks them both down with soapy water. They continued to rinse Miracle until Dean looked over to Cas; he had an idea. It was a brilliant idea, but he knew he would pay for it later…. Worth it. Dean thought to himself before he turned the hose onto Cas and sprayed him directly in the face.

Cas sputtered and spit water out of his mouth before he ran a hand down his face, wiping away the water dripping from his hair. Dean was trying to hold back his smile but instead had a mischievous look on his face.  

“Oh, you’re going to regret that Mr. Winchester.” Cas smirked.

Dean burst out laughing, getting up and running in the opposite direction before turning around and spraying the water at Cas. Cas dodged it and tackled Dean to the ground, wrestling the hose out of his hand and turning it on him. They were laughing hysterically, and Miracle was barking excitedly next to them before they finally called a truce. They finished Miracle’s bath and then dried off and went inside the house to order food, it was getting late, and they were both starving. by the time their Chinese food got there, the sun was setting. They had taken a shower and changed into some sweats and t-shirts. Miracle was fast asleep on the large dog bed that sat in the living room close to the fire burning in the fireplace. They decided to grab a blanket and take their food down to the beach where the Impala was and watch the sunset over the ocean from the hood of the car.

Dean packed a few beers in the green cooler, and he grabbed the blanket while Cas grabbed the bags of food. They situated themselves on the hood of the car, both under the blanket to protect from the chill of the evening breeze with their food in front of them and beer in the cooler on the ground. They ate in a comfortable silence for a while before Cas finally spoke.

“Dean, why do you only raise and sell cattle?”

“What do you mean Cas?” Dean asked around a bite of kung pao chicken.

Cas shoved some Lo Mein noodles in his mouth and explained, “You love horses. You’ve trained several but you only raise cattle. Why don’t you breed and train your own horses as well?”

Dean considered Cas for a moment before taking a sip of his beer and saying, “I would love to breed and train horses but when we were first starting out, it was easier to get into the cattle business. Cattle are cheaper than horses with good bloodlines. And stud fees are fucking crazy.”

“That makes sense, and it was smart. But why don’t you start breeding now? Even if it’s just a small business, it could be doable with some of the income you get now. You are The Dean Winchester of Winchester Cattle Co. You are well known in that industry and do very well.” Cas took another bite of his food, trying to hide the fact that he had been doing some digging and talking with Sam. But of course, Dean saw right through him.

Dean chuckled quietly, “You’ve been talking to Sam and Eileen haven’t you.”

“Fine, you caught me. I also did some of my own digging as well.” Cas admitted.

“Oh really?” Dean was curious now.

“Uhuh… The internet says you have some of the best cattle bloodlines in the state and entire west. You’ve sold prize cattle even all the way down to Texas.”

“Wow you really have done your research.” Dean wasn’t really shocked; just surprised Cas had taken such an interest in his business. He was glad he was interested, and he was willing to share anything Cas wanted to know with him.

“I’m a businessman Dean. Plus, you’ve shown me the books yourself and practically everyone in town knows you.” Cas said casually.

“You have a point there. I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it, but it would take a lot of money and blood, sweat and tears.” Dean explained.

“What would you need to get started?” Cas asked. See Cas had a plan, but he was going to need to know what Dean needed to do to get a breeding business off the ground without making it seem like he had a plan. Easier said than done. Cas thought to himself.

Dean eyed him questioningly behind his beer for a moment. He’s got something up his sleeve I know it.

“Well, for starters I need to build another barn for brood mares. If I wanted my own stud, I would need a small separate barn for them. I think I would make all the stalls in the brood mare barn birthing stalls in case mares went into labor at the same time. build a round pen for training near the new arena. And I would need to fence off a few acres for grazing for the stallion.” Dean stopped himself.

there really was no good reason he hadn’t done any of what he just said. He wanted to do it; he had the money to do it, but he would have to hire ranch hands. Having both a cattle business and horse breeding and training would be impossible for just him and Sam to do, even with Castiel’s help when he’s available. What kept Dean from doing it was the fact that he didn’t trust many people with his animals, and he refused to hire anyone who didn’t meet his qualifications or love animals as much as he did.

“That sounds doable. Between you, me, Sam and occasional help from Bobby and Benny we would be able to build the barns in no time. and the fencing is pretty easy.” Cas paused, all too aware of the real reason behind Dean’s reluctance.

“But you would have to hire ranch hands to help with the cattle and everyday chores.” He said quickly before Dean could stop him.

Dean opened his mouth to protest but Cas cut him off. “Dean I know you are protective of your animals, but you can’t do everything on your own. It would be physically impossible even with Sam and my occasional help.”

Dean let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, I know. I just want people who are competent with animals and that I know I can trust.”

“I know and we can cross that bridge when we get to it. Just think about it ok?” Cas said, resting a hand on the side of Dean’s face and running his thumb down it softly.

Dean leaned into the touch and smiled. He knew when he’d been beat. “Yeah, ok Sweetheart.”

“Good.” Cas returned his smile and went back to his meal, looking out over the ocean. The sun had almost sunk down behind the line of sight. Cas felt triumphant in his small quest to get Dean to consider hiring help, so he let himself forget about the ranch and his and Dean’s families plan and just enjoyed the company he was in.

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The sun had set about two hours ago and they were still laid out on the hood of the Impala. It was pitch black and the stars shone bright above them. It reminded them both of their home on the ranch where the night was lit not by city lights but by the soft glow of the moon and stars. More stars than Cas had ever seen in his whole life. They would do exactly what they were currently doing on clear nights back on the ranch. Sit on the hood of the Impala or in the bed of Dean’s old truck and watch the stars. It was peaceful. This house and beach were far enough away from any city that you had a beautiful view of the sky, though not as bright as back home but it would do.

They were laying back with the blanket wrapped around them, listening to the sound of the ocean waves hitting the shore and watching the sky. Not one single person had disturbed them on this beach the entire day, and they were both enjoying the privacy that brought.

That’s when Dean moved to get off the hood and dig the keys out of his pocket.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas sat up. He wasn’t ready to go back to the house yet and he missed Dean’s body heat pressed against him.

“You’ll see!” Dean grinned and opened the driver’s door, reaching in and turning the ignition until it clicked once, turning on just the headlights and A/C.

The Impala’s headlights illuminated the waves in front of them. Dean shut the door and came back to stand next to Cas, both looking out at the water they could now see. Cas was sitting on the edge of the hood in the middle with Dean leaning on his left thigh next to him. they watched the water for a few minutes before Dean turned to Cas. He gently pushed Cas’s knees apart and stepped into the void space between them to face him. Cas turned his face up to look at Dean, his hands sliding under his shirt and against the soft skin of his hips, pulling his closer. Dean chuckled lightly and reach up with one hand to cup Cas’s neck, running his thumb over his Adams apple. He leaned down and kissed him.

The kiss started out soft and chaste until the fire burning under Dean’s skin became too much. He ran his tongue along Cas’s bottom lip and lightly bit down. Cas immediately opened his mouth, granting him access with a low moan. Dean playfully flicked his tongue against Cas’s, but Cas had other plans. He pushed his way into Dean’s mouth, all business and eager to taste his lover. Both their hands started to roam. Cas reached around and placed his hands on Dean’s ass, squeezing and pulling him impossibly closer. A deep groan came from Dean’s chest when Cas squeezed, it made the animal inside Dean come alive. With a guttural growl, Dean ended their heated kiss and latched onto Cas’s neck, sucking hard on the sensitive spot that drove Cas crazy. His hands reached down to Cas’s hips and roughly pulled him further down the Impala’s hood, leaning into him so that his body is draped over Cas’s as they make out and explore one another’s necks with their mouths.

Dean moved his hips against Cas’s crotch, feeling Cas’s hard cock push into his stomach. He pushed Cas’s shirt up under his arms to expose his chest. He leaned down and took in one of Cas’s nipples, rolling the hard bud around then gently biting down. Something Cas loved about Dean was that no matter how rough they got, Dean always managed to take a few minutes to slow down and worship his body. That’s the only phrase he can think of. Dean doesn’t let Cas do anything for a few minutes no matter who is on top. Cas enjoys this, loves the way Dean looks at him as he draws out the pleasure and builds it up. By the time Dean has kissed and claimed every inch of Cas’s torso, he’s always a writhing, whimpering mess beneath him and Cas loves it.

Dean does exactly that, he went from bruising kisses and rough wondering hands to gentle caresses and soft kisses. Dean lets that heat simmer just under Cas’s skin while he makes his way down his stomach, licking, kissing and leaving behind love bits sure to bruise in his wake. Then all at once, he yanks down Cas’s sweatpants and takes his cock all the way to the hilt; ripping a loud moan and a “Fuck!” from Cas’s throat.

Dean smirks around Cas’s cock, knowing exactly what he was doing to the man under him. Cas gripped at the blanket under him, panting heavily. Dean ran his hand down Cas’s inner thigh and down towards his ass. He had every intention of tearing Cas apart until he was begging for Dean to be inside him; but when he reached Cas’s waiting hole, he found a surprise.

Dean paused in sucking Cas’s cock, pulling off with a POP, he grasped at the silicone loop protruding from Cas’s ass. He looked up and saw that Cas had propped one arm under his head and was already looking down at him. Cas started to chuckle, and the crooked smile Dean loved so much pulled at the corner of his mouth.

“And what the fuck is this?” Dean asked in a teasing tone, his own smile playing across his face.

Cas sat up on his elbows, bringing him now face to face with Dean. He reached up and ran a hand lovingly down the side of Dean’s face.

“I told you I had plans for later.” Cas said smirking.

Dean closed the space between them and kisses him. “Well, I sure as hell ain’t complaining. Just means I get to be in my favorite place sooner.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and grinned.

Cas laughed and said, “It’s about time. I’ve had these in for a while and it’s been a challenge not to, as you would say, ‘jump your bones’.”

Dean threw his head back with a laugh and said, “The wait is over sweetheart.”

He winked at Cas and dove back down to suck the head of his cock into his mouth. His hand had never left the loop, toying with it during the entire conversation they had. He tugged slightly on the anal bead loop and was rewarded with a low moan. Dean was more than ready, he only teased Cas for a moment before slowly pulling the beads out. Cas let out a needy moan as he watched Dean pull the bottle of lube from his pocket and pop the cap, pouring a generous amount onto his hand before pushing his pants down to free his aching cock.

He stroked his thick cock a few times then he lined himself up and slowly pushed inside. Cas let his head fall against the hood and squeezed his eyes closed as pleasure shot through him, moaning filthily. He would never get tired of feeling Dean’s thick cock sink inside him. Dean stopped once he was fully seated, letting Cas get used to his length. Dean grabbed both of Cas’s legs behind his knees and gently tugged. Cas let him guide his legs up, resting his feet on the edge of the hood. The new angle made them both moan as Dean’s cock pushed deeper inside him.

“m- move please.” Cas said breathily.

Dean did as he was told, slowly pulling back out and pushing back in; a slow and torturous rhythm. He planned on making Cas beg like he had done to him so many times. Dean ran his hand up Cas’s thighs, squeezing his ass cheeks when he got to them. Cas was starting to get impatient, he started pushing against Dean, meeting every one of his slow thrusts.

“Cas, so fucking good… Feels so good…” Dean panted, leaning down and kissing the moan from Cas’s mouth.

“Dean… M- more… I… Fuck I need more. F-faster.” Cas begged.

Dean pulled back so he was just barely inside Cas, only pushing the tip in and out teasingly. “What do you want Cas?” Dean had leaned down and whispered in Cas’s ear as he pinched and teased one of his nipples. Cas gasped and whimpered.

“Tell me what you want.” Dean demanded through gritted teeth. There was something specific he wanted to hear, and he wasn’t going to give anything to Cas until he said it.

Cas’s pupils were blown, he was writhing beneath him, trying to get the friction he desperately needed.

“Fuck me Dean!” Cas gritted out, needing Dean to move.

“There it is.” Dean breathed out as he slammed into him, setting a fast, relentless pace.

They were all hands wondering and teasing, both kissing one another fiercely. Dean dragging his tongue up Cas’s throat to his jaw, nipping along the way. It didn’t take too long for them to be moaning loudly, Dean could feel the familiar heat building in his belly, threatening to spill over soon. He could see by the way Cas moaned and mumbled nonsense that he was close too. Dean suddenly picked up one of Cas’s legs and threw it over his shoulder, changing the angle so he was hitting Cas’s prostate with every hard thrust.

“Oh fuck!” Cas cried out. “I-- I’m gonna cum.” Cas managed to get out before his body tensed and he came untouched, shooting hot strings of cum onto his stomach.

Seeing Cas cum pushed Dean over the edge, feeling his ass squeeze his cock with every pulse of cum shooting from his cock. They came almost simultaneously, Dean with a guttural moan, painting Cas’s insides with his hot load.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean fell on top of Cas where they both were trying to come down from their highs. Dean finally let his cock slide out of Cas. They were exhausted.

Cas was running a loving hand down Dean’s back as Dean had his head pressed to his chest, listening to the sound of his slowing heartbeat.

“Dean that was…” Cas started, “Fucking mind blowing.” Dean finished, lifting his head to kiss Cas softly.

Cas chuckled and agreed, “My thoughts exactly. Although I think I need another shower now.”

Dean sat up; he had forgotten about the cum that was now dried out on both their bellies. Dean made a disgusted face and pulled Cas by the hand to stand up. they gathered their stuff and loaded it up in the Impala.

Halfway up the drive Cas said, “We need to do that again.” He winked at Dean.

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” Dean gave him his most charming smile and wiggled his eyebrow at him suggestively. They both smiled and laughed, fingers intertwined as Dean parked the car.

 They headed inside for their shower. Yep, the next two days are gonna be great. Dean thought to himself as he watched Cas walk down the hall, stripping himself of his clothes as he went.

Chapter Text

Fishing in the Dark

The last two days they spent at the Oregon coast were fantastic, filled with the salty water of the ocean, an amazing and heated swimming pool and the best sex Dean had ever had. The drive back to Montana was long but they had a good time. They laughed and reminisced about childhood trips each had taken; some good and some bad. When they made it back to the ranch, the next day, Dean’s mind was whirling with the possibilities of expanding his business with Cas at his side.

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POV: DEAN

SEP 17, 2010:

 The day before Cas’s birthday, while Cas had gone to the Roadhouse, Dean had locked himself in his office after ranch chores were done. He went over the ranches financial book’s half a dozen times before he realized that he really did have the money to build both a stallion barn and the brood mare barn. He didn’t care about money all that much, he wasn’t in this business to make a fortune, he just loved his animals and wanted to be able to afford what he had. His mouth hung open as he stared at his laptop screen. He never over bought at the feed store, he shod his own horses, and luckily his cattle were rarely sick or injured. He hadn’t realized that between that and the good year he had at the sales last year, he had a hefty balance in the ranches bank account.

He smiled to himself, then he opened a new tab in his browser, opening the website for the car dealership in Bozeman.

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POV: CAS

The morning before Cas’s birthday, he got up with Dean and helped him do the morning chores. After they were finished, he kissed Dean goodbye as he was leaving to head to the Roadhouse. Dean was acting a little strange, he seemed distracted. So, Cas asked Dean what he was going to do today to which Dean told him he just needed to run some numbers. When Dean went into his office and closed the door with a huge cup of coffee in hand, Cas knew he’d be in there a while. Cas just shrugged and left the house; he knew he would hear about whatever was on Dean’s mind later that night. He stole the keys to Dean’s old pickup he loved to steal instead of his set for his Tundra and headed out the door.

Sam was meeting Cas at the bar around lunch time, they had some business to talk about. Cas got to the bar and was greeted by Ellen as he walked in the back door and hung up his jacket.

“Morning Cas!” she called over from the kitchen in the back of the bar.

“Morning Ellen! Is Dean planning anything extravagant for my birthday?” He asked knowing full well that Ellen wouldn’t tell him even if she knew something, but it was worth a shot.

“Not that I know of. Just dinner tomorrow with this crazy crew.” She said while setting a box on the counter.

“Huh. Dean was acting strange this morning and seemed like he was trying to hide something.” Cas explained.

“I’ve got some stocking I need some help with so you can tell me all about it.” Ellen said as she handed him a box of booze and he followed her out to the main bar room.

Cas told her all about how Dean seemed a little nervous but excited and how he went into his office to “run some numbers”. He always loved talking with Ellen. Before he knew it, Sam and Eileen were walking through the door with a large takeout bag from their favorite diner in town.

They sat down and passed out the food, when they were finally all situated and digging in, Sam began. “So, I went over the books. And I’m sure that’s what Dean is doing in his office today from what you said. He should find the same thing I did. That there is nothing stopping him from immediately drawing up plans and buying materials to start building. Dean has two separate accounts; one for the ranch and a personal one.”

“Yes, I’ve seen both and we all know Dean is a penny pincher so I’m sure it comes as no surprise that both accounts are bountiful.” Cas paused to chew his turkey club before continuing. “I know money isn’t the issue, he told me himself.”

Sam had a look of confusion on his face. Eileen and Ellen were quietly having a conversation through sign language next to them. They were in on the plan but with Eileen being 7 months pregnant, they had baby shower things to talk about as well.

“Well, if money isn’t the issue, then why is he being so hesitant?” Sam asked between bites of his salad.

“Sam, you know your brother is stubborn and only trusts us with his animals.” Cas sighed dramatically.  

Eileen cut in at that moment, saying and signing, “That’s why he won’t start building? Because he won’t hire ranch hands?”

Cas nodded yes since he had just taken a to big bite of his sandwich. Sam was chuckling quietly while Ellen and Eileen rolled their eyes. Cas could almost feel each person’s exasperation with the rancher he loved radiating off them. Cas felt the same way.

“How do we fix this?” Ellen asked.

“I think that will take more convincing, but I don’t see any reason to not start building.” Cas said.

There was an all-around agreement and then they changed the subject to Cas’s birthday the next day and the upcoming baby shower for Eileen. They had a plan for Dean and were confident it would work.

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POV: DEAN

Dean had spent fifteen minutes looking for the keys to his old pickup truck. He looked around the kitchen, the living room, his office and even the upstairs before he went outside because he thought that they might be in the Impala somehow, when he saw that Cas’s shiny black Tundra was still parked next to the Impala and the old Dodge truck was no longer next to the barn where he left it the night before. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the quirk of a smile that pulled at the corner of his mouth. Cas rarely drove his own truck anymore. If he wasn’t with Dean and Dean hadn’t gotten to the old truck keys first, he was taking it to the Roadhouse for a shift or any errands he had to run. Dean turned and went back into the house; Miracle greeted him excitedly at the door.

“Hey buddy.” Dean grabbed the keys to Cas’s tundra and squatted down to scratch behind the dogs’ ears. “You wanna go for a ride in the big truck?”

Miracle barked his approval. The dog loved car rides, but he especially enjoyed Cas’s truck. They figured it was because there was so much room to move around and because the dog loved to go mudding in it. Dean introduced Cas to mudding since his truck had tires that were perfect for it. The truck was currently covered in mud from top to bottom from the night before when they visited the mudding track in the next town over.

Dean stood and headed out the door, Miracle ran straight to the truck and sat down to wait for Dean. Dean opened the door and let him in before climbing in himself. He had a feed run to make but before he did that, he was stopping by the car wash to clean off all the caked-on mud.

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It took Dean an hour to scrub off all that mud and a ridiculous number of quarters to pay for it; but Cas’s gratitude was enough for Dean. (If you catch his drift 😉) Dean was texting Gabriel about Castiel      ’s birthday the following day while the kid at the feed store threw in bag after bag of feed into the bed of the truck. Dean was surprising Cas with flying his whole family down for his birthday the following day. Sam was picking up Gabriel and Chuck from the airport early the next morning and Dean was picking up Michael, Anna and the baby in the early afternoon. Dean and Bobby had cleaned up the apartment above the bar for Michael, Anna and the baby so they wouldn’t be disturbed by the shenanigans that might happen drunkenly at the ranch, and Gabriel and chuck would be staying in two of the guest rooms at Dean and Cas’s house. Ellen was closing the bar for Cas’s birthday, so he had the whole weekend off. He had lunch plans with Eileen so Dean was going to be able to make a clean get away to the airport with a small lie and Cas would never notice.

Dean sent off his reply to Gabriel and a confirmation text about the flight arrival to Michael before shoving his phone in his pocket and thanking the kid for loading the feed. He climbed in the truck and headed back down the road towards the ranch. He listened to the iPod Cas had blue toothed to the truck on his way back; he hated to admit it but he kinda liked this truck. That’s when he got a brilliant idea. He knew what he was going to give Cas for his birthday, but he needed to visit the nearby craft store first.

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POV: CAS

Cas busied himself with working behind the bar, wiping down the bar top, pouring drinks for customers, talking to regulars and restocking when needed. He was more lost in thought than normal while he worked, and he didn’t hear the call of his name.

“Castiel!” Ellen called loudly.

 He abruptly turned around and apologized, “I’m sorry Ellen, I was lost in my thoughts.” He gave her a weak smile.

“You ok honey?” she asked, setting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He nodded and swallowed hard before saying, “I’m fine. I just haven’t spent a birthday without Gabriel in over ten years and it’s been a while since I’ve seen him. He may be a pain in my ass, but he believed in me when no one did and… I guess I just miss my brother.” He ducked his head, looking down at his feet and wringing the cup towel in his hands.

Ellen was rubbing comforting circles on his back when she said, “Oh sweetie, I know how it is. I don’t think Sam and Dean have ever spent a birthday apart and I doubt they ever will. Why don’t you go ahead and head home early, it’s slow and tomorrow is your birthday. Give Gabe a call on your way home, you know he’ll still be wake.”

She took the cup towel out of his hand and shoved him towards the back door. “I will, thanks Ellen!” Cas called as he headed out the door and to the back where he parked the old Dodge truck.

He grabbed his light coat off the rack by the back door and called, “Night Bobby!” To Bobby who was in the office doing God knows what. Cas heard a grunted reply and smiled to himself before he opened the door and went to the truck. When he got in the truck and cranked it, he checked his phone. He had a few texts from Dean, teasing him about taking his truck and making him have to drive the Tundra and what would be for dinner, a text from Eileen about lunch the next day, an article from Sam that looked to be on Bee keeping and a text from Gabriel. He smiled to himself as a warm feeling spread through him. He may not be spending his birthday with his brother and getting hammered like he usually did, but he was surrounded by people that loved him; his found family, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything in the whole world. He replied to a few before dropping his phone in the cup holder and turning the radio on, a familiar country song played through the speakers as he turned the truck for home.

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POV: SWITCH

Ellen had told Dean she was sending Cas home early and had sent him a text when he left. He had a nice romantic dinner waiting for Cas since he would be surrounded by the whole family tomorrow. There was a chill in the air tonight, typical for a mid-September night in Montana; but it wasn’t anything that the firepit on the porch couldn’t fix. Dean had turned it on when Ellen said Cas was on his way home. Sam had helped Dean with the evening chores around the ranch so he would have time to cook his dinner, that’s when Dean started to realize that even now, with just the cattle business, they could use another set of hands to help out. Until Cas came along, he hadn’t realized how much he worked and buried himself in it.

Now he wished he had even just a little more time to spend with Cas. He knew trying to start a new business along with having the cattle company was going to be even more time consuming, but he was hoping Cas would consider coming on to work alongside him full time. This dinner was about his birthday, but he also had that question up his sleeve. He was nervous, but he knew Cas would agree. He already spent his free time away from the Roadhouse, working with Dean.

Dean set down the two beers next to their plates of food when he heard the rumble of the old pickup coming up the drive. The lights on the porch were off except for the string lights Dean had hung last summer, the only other light was coming from the firepit next to the fold out table he had set up. Dean came to stand at the top of the steps, leaning on the rail to wait for Cas to come up.

When the house came into view, Cas could see Dean standing at the top of the steps, the main porch lights were off, only the string lights and what Cas thought to be the firepit lit the large porch. He parked the truck next to the Impala and got out, smiling to Dean as he walked towards him. halfway to the house Miracle ran down the steps to greet him. Cas rubbed behind his ears before continuing to walk to the house; Miracle running up the steps and through the dog door. Dean laughed along with Cas as the watched the dog disappear.

“Hey sweetheart.” Dean smiled as Cas reached him. he pushed off the rail and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in for a slow kiss.

“Hello Dean.” Cas pulled back and his eyes were drawn away from Dean and towards the table and chairs set up next to the firepit. “What’s all this?”

They walked over to the table, Cas taking it all in; the fire in the background, table set up with a candle in the middle and two plates of one of Cas’s favorite meals Dean makes, steak, mashed potatoes and roasted mixed veggies with two beers. Along with the string lights creating a soft glow on the porch.

What did I do to deserve this man? Cas thought to himself as he turned to Dean with a huge smile on his face.

Dean was grinning shyly, “Just a little something since we will be having dinner with the family tomorrow night.”  He wrapped an arm around Cas’s middle and gently pushed him over to the chair he had pulled out for him.

“Thank you. this looks amazing.” Cas said as he took his seat, Dean taking the one across from him. Cas cut into his steak and groaned at the burst of flavor that hit his tongue. Dean smiled happily and took a bite of his own steak.

“So, I have something to tell you.” Dean started. He was excited and knew Cas would be happy, but Dean didn’t know how Cas was going to feel about him asking him to quit the bar and work full time beside himself.

“What’s that?” Cas asked around a bite of his food. (Dean was becoming a bad influence on Castiel’s table manners.)

“I ran the numbers…” Dean paused, waiting for Cas to look up. When he did, he continued. Cas stopped mid fork to mouth to look at Dean. He hadn’t expected his little plan to work so quickly. He waited for Dean to finish speaking. “And I found that we have the money to start building. I actually didn’t realize how much money we had; it’s been a very good year.”

“Dean that’s wonderful. What would you want to start on first?”

Dean took a sip of his beer then spoke, “I think I want to build the bunkhouse first, that way during the winter whoever I hire will be able to stay during a snowstorm and not have to drive up.”

“That would be nice. The brood mare barn would be next?”

“Probably. We need to hire some people in the next month so we can have some hands to help with the building. I’m going to buy a few fleet trucks, so they aren’t having to take the pickup or their own cars on ranch errands.” Dean explains.

“That’s smart. I don’t think you would need more than maybe two trucks. Start with that and add more down the road if need be.” Cas suggested with a smile.

Dean was pleased that Cas was happy and seemed interested, it made the task of asking his next question easier, but he didn’t know how he would feel if Cas rejected the offer. Dean loves when Cas has the time to work by his side, whether it’s building a hay barn, mending fences or tending to the cows and horses. Cas is always ready and willing to work and learn and he takes genuine interest in everything the ranch currently has going on.

Dean smiles fondly back and says, “That’s what I was thinking.”

They finish their meal with talk of Eileen’s due date approaching and work at the bar. Dean takes it as a good sign when Cas doesn’t have much to report on from the bar and instead turns the conversation back to the ranch and the upcoming projects.

When Dean stands to take their plates, Cas tries to help but Dean lays a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder and tells him to relax, he will be right back. Cas does so reluctantly, instead taking a seat on the more comfortable outdoor couch, a little closer to the fire and waits for Dean to return. Dean comes back a moment later with two glasses and Cas’s favorite bottle of Johnny Walker Blue in hand. He sits down and hands a full glass to Cas and then pours one for himself. Dean sets the bottle down on the side table and leans back into the couch, putting an arm around Cas’s shoulders as he leans into his side. They stay like this, in a comfortable silence for a while before Dean gets up the courage to ask the burning question. Dean went to open his mouth to start his sentence but was beaten by Cas.

“This was nice. Thank you.” Cas said with a content sigh.

“No problem, babe.” Dean gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I called Gabe on my way home.”

“Oh yeah. How was the little trickster?” Dean joked.

Cas chuckled.

“He’s fine. Ellen sent me home early because I was distracted. I haven’t spent a birthday without my brother in longer than I can remember, and I found myself missing him tonight.” Cas confessed. This news wasn’t new to Dean, Cas had mentioned how he missed Gabe, that’s why he was flying them all out for his birthday; but he wasn’t ready to give up the act just yet.

“Yeah, she told me when she called to tell me you were on your way home. We can go visit Gabe soon, or he can come out here. Maybe over Christmas or something.” Dean tried to keep his tone even and interested so to not give anything away. Cas didn’t seem to notice he was hiding anything.

Cas nodded against Dean’s shoulder and agreed, “That would be fun.”

A few more moments of silence passed before Dean thought he could try again with his question. He had already talked to Ellen, and she said they would be fine at the bar with help when they could like Dean already did.

Dean took a deep breath and with new confidence started, “Cas, can I ask you a question?”

Cas lifted his head from where it rested on Dean’s shoulder to look at him. “Of course.”

“Would you like to work side by side with me? Full time?” Dean rushed his words, finding himself excited to get the question out.

Cas had a look of shock on his face. He hadn’t expected that to be the question Dean would ask him. Sure, he liked working at the bar, but it wasn’t what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He loves every opportunity he got to work beside Dean. He loved every second spent working with him. He wanted nothing more than to work solely with Dean, but up until now he wasn’t sure if that’s what Dean would want. The ranch was Dean’s for many years before Cas came back into the picture. But clearly, he did.

Cas’s mind seemed to start working the minute he realized he had taken too long to answer when he saw Dean’s face start to fall. Cas quickly smiled, saying, “Dean I would love nothing more than to work on this ranch beside you. Truth is, I’ve wanted it for a long time but wasn’t sure how you felt about it.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. The hard part was over, Cas wanted to work with him. he cracked a crooked smile at Cas, “That’s great, really. Sounds like we were both under the wrong impression.” Dean chuckled.

“Apparently.” Cas agreed with a snort of laughter.

“We are a team Cas. We’re just better together. I love having you here and I want to spend more time with you. This is the only way I know how to do that.” Dean ducked his head as he continued, “I uhh, I actually already talked to Ellen, she was excited for you and said they would be fine if we just helped out when we could. She uhh, doesn’t expect you back as a worker after tonight.”

“We do work well together don’t we. I’m glad the bar will be fine but is she sure it’s fine for me to just quit like that?” Cas asked concernedly.

“Yeah, we’ve been planning this since you and I got back from vacation when I first ran it by her.”

“What would I mainly be doing?” Cas was curious what his part in all this would entail.

“You’re a businessman so I would like you help with the bookkeeping and budgeting; especially once I’m up to my eyeballs with the brood mares. But really anything that needs to be done or anything you want to do.” Dean pauses. He really wants Cas to feel like this is his business as well, so he adds, “I trust you completely. For now, you can help us build and work up plans, you can help hire ranch hands and anything else I would normally do. This is your business now too.”

Cas’s heart was swelling with love and pride for the man before him. He was in awe of the trust and love Dean was putting into him. Cas will gladly do whatever Dean needs him to do. He can’t believe the last year he has had. Tomorrow will mark one year since he came to Livingston and literally ran into Dean.

“Thank you love. I truly don’t know what to say other than, thank you and I love you so damn much.” Cas said, his eyes stinging with the threat of tears wanting to spill over.

“I love you too Cas.” Dean then leaned in and kissed him softly. When he pulled back, he added, “No more chick flick moments, let’s do evening rounds then go watch a movie.”

“I’m not watching Die Hard again.” Cas declared.

“Come on, it’s a classic!” Dean defended. Cas gave him a look that said he was completely serious.

“We watched it for the 4^th time this week last night.”

“Fine. But I’m not watching The Devil Wears Prada again.” Dean pointed an accusing finger at Cas.

Cas nodded in agreement with a laugh. They got up to go make sure everything was locked and all the animals were where they were supposed to be. Cas started towards the steps when Dean put a hand on his shoulder and said, “One second.”

He opened the front door and disappeared inside, returning a moment later with a shotgun in hand. They headed down the stairs as Cas eyed the gun in confusion. “Dean, why are you bringing your shotgun? You’ve never brought it before.”

“This afternoon when I was unloading feed, I heard some coyotes howling. It’s odd to hear them in the day and we generally don’t hear them that close to the house or barn.” Dean paused as they reached the barn and slid the door open to check the horses.

Cas realized at that moment that he hadn’t been paying attention to the howling currently going on out in the distance. It was faint, but they were there. He listened intensely to what Dean was saying, knowing they may have to make some changes if this was going down the path he thought it might be.

“I decided to ride out after I heard them. of course, I took the gun with me. I didn’t see any, but I found a rabbit carcass in the east pasture that was too close to home for me. It’s getting colder and they are hungry and getting brave. They’ve been getting closer every winter, but this is the first time I’ve found evidence of them crossing the fence line.” Dean explained.

Cas was locking the feed room as Dean double checked the stall doors when Cas replied, “So what is our best plan of action then? The horses are secure at night, the chickens are in their coop so that just leaves the cows."

They exited the barn and slid the door shut behind them and started towards the coop to make sure the hens were settled and locked away for the night. “I was thinking of getting a livestock guardian dog. The cows can handle themselves pretty well out in the big pasture, but the dog would keep the coyotes from coming up to the house and getting in the barn or coop. coyotes are smart and they will figure out how to get into a chicken coop if they are hungry enough. It would also help keep us safe when we ride out either together or alone. I’ve been fortunate not to need one until now, but it looks like that’s something I’m going to have to get and soon.”

They finished at the coop and walked towards the house, “I think that would be a good investment. It would be nice to have some piece of mind when we aren’t here. Would you like me to start looking into it?” Cas asked, his tone turning into the one he used to use during meetings when he was a CEO. Dean smiled proudly, glad that Cas felt comfortable enough to take the initiative on this. Dean placed a hand on Cas’s waist as they walked up the steps to the house, “That would be great sweetheart.”

They went inside the house and went through their nightly routine. Dean went through the first floor of the house and turned off lights and locked the doggie door while Cas gave Miracle his dinner. They went upstairs and took a long shower together, something that rarely happened since Cas was usually working at the bar on an opposite schedule as Dean; they both hoped it would happen more now that Cas would be on the same schedule. Miracle was curled up at the foot of the bed, Cas was sitting against the headboard reading his book and Dean was trying not to draw attention to his phone. He was texting Gabriel and Michael in a group chat about the next day. Once he had the finished his texting, he plugged his phone in and set it on the nightstand.

He turned to Cas and said, “You still having lunch with Eileen tomorrow?”

Cas marked his place in the book he was reading and placed it on the nightstand. He scooted down the bed and turned towards Dean, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer, his hand rubbing loving circles on his back. “Yes, we are going over to Benny’s so I will be gone a while.”

Dean had tangled his legs with Cas’s and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. “That’s good. Benny said they were excited to see you on your birthday. I have some errands to run out of town, so I’ll be gone a few hours in the afternoon anyways.”

“Sounds like perfect timing then.” They shared a long kiss before Cas turned his light off and sleep overtook them both.

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POV: DEAN

Sat Sep 18, 2010:
5:30 a.m.

Dean had set an alarm for half an hour earlier than usual for a Saturday, he was thankful that when it went off and he rolled out of bed, Cas hadn’t seemed to notice and continued his snoring. Dean went into their now shared closet and rummaged through his side of it. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a black Queen t-shirt before a box on the top shelf caught his eye. He pulled it down and opened it up. It was the box that was filled with pictures of his mother and pictures of them all as a family, some of her jewelry like her favorite necklace his dad took him to buy her for Mother’s Day one year, a bracelet that had his and Sam’s names engraved on it and her wedding ring. The only other thing in the box sat in the same place he put it ten months ago, a small velvet box that held the ring that he impulsively bought for Cas last Christmas. He pulled it out and opened the box, staring down at the Tungsten ring. He smiled to himself and closed the small box, setting it back down where it had sat for so long and closed the bigger box, placing it back on the shelf.

I can’t wait to put that ring on his finger. He thought with a smile as he walked out of the closet and made his way down the stairs, a pair of socks in hand.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he grabbed his Stetson cowboy hat and jacket off the rack and his boots out of the coat closet. Once he was prepared to go outside, he went out and grabbed the gigantic red bow from the trunk of the Impala where he had hidden it the previous day. Cas had parked in a perfect spot; you couldn’t see the front of the old truck from the house, but it was still visible. Once he had the bow secured, he went back into the house, shedding his jacket and cowboy hat and walking into the kitchen. He pulled some bacon, eggs and cheese out of the fridge, setting them on the counter before he dug around for his waffle maker. He turned on his iPod in hopes that the music would slowly wake Cas up. If not, the smell of bacon would, it always did. Dean danced around the kitchen as he cooked and sang along to the Elton John song that played through the speakers.

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POV: CAS

 “Dean stop licking me, s’gross.” Cas rolled onto his stomach, eyes still closed from sleep when he felt paws step onto his back and a wet tongue dip into his ear.

He jolted upright with a “Ahh” and was met by Miracle climbing back into his lap, begging for attention. Cas rubbed his belly with one hand and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with the other. He glanced out the windows and saw that the sun wasn’t quite up yet. He took a deep breath, and his sleep fogged brain registered the smell of cooking bacon and the feint sound of music coming from downstairs. He sat for a moment longer, taking in his surroundings and reminiscing on how much his life had changed in just one year. Before he moved to Montana and started working at the bar, he was unable to sleep past 6:30am no matter how hard he tried or what he did the night before. Now though, he found he slept soundly and had a hard time getting up early, not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed he shared with the man he loved.

“C’mon, let’s go see what your dad is cooking on this fine morning.” Cas said to Miracle, giving him a little nudge to jump off the bed.

Miracle launched himself off the bed and ran out the door, Cas chuckled to himself as he heard him barrel down the stairs. He got up, stretched and went in the bathroom to piss and brush his teeth before he headed down the stairs himself.

The further down the hall he went the louder Dean’s singing, and the sizzle of bacon became. When he reached the bottom of the stairs a wide smile played across his face as he saw Dean dancing and singing enthusiastically into his favorite spatula, belting out the last few words of Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl. When Dean looked up to see Cas walking towards him, he returns his smile and starts flipping the bacon in the pan.

 “Mornin sunshine!” Dean yells over the music playing, the song having now changed to The Eagles Hotel California.

“Good morning love.” Cas said as he came around the island to kiss his boyfriend.

“Happy birthday sweetheart.” Dean smiled at Cas and handed him a cup of coffee fixed to perfection.

“Mmmm yeeesss. Thank you.” Cas took the cup eagerly and walked back around the island to sit in one of the barstools.  

Dean pulled the bacon out of the pan right as the timer for the last waffle went off. He made Cas a plate full of 2 waffles, some bacon and eggs with cheese and slid it across the counter towards him. He fixed himself his own plate before grabbing his coffee and going to sit next to Cas at the bar.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Cas said, “This is amazing Dean, thank you.” around a big bite of waffle.

“I’m glad you like it.” Dean runs his last bite of waffle through the pool of maple syrup on his plate and shoves it in his mouth.

Dean stood to clear the plates, Cas handing him his while he finished off his coffee. Dean took the plates over to the sink while saying, “So I was thinking. Since we’re both going to be using the office, we should get another desk and rearrange it. You never know when we would both need to use it at the same time.”

“I don’t want you to have to change your office just for me. I can sit at the bar or dining table if I needed too.” Cas objected.

He didn’t want Dean to feel the need to rearrange his office just because he would be working with him. He would use the office when Dean didn’t need it or go in the dining room on his laptop when Dean needed his office.

Dean turned to look at him, “Cas for the last time, this is your house and now your business too, not just mine. Your part of this family and like it or not, you deserve to feel comfortable here. Besides, that office is huge. Putting another desk in there isn’t going to be a problem.”

Cas smiled weakly and fiddled with the handle of his favorite coffee cup. His eyes dipped down and then he looked back up at Dean. “Thank you. I truly do feel comfortable here. I just didn’t want you to feel the need to rearrange your office on my account.”

“It’s our office now. You will be spending more time in it than I will anyway.” Dean grinned and walked around the counter to wrap his arms around Cas’s shoulders, planting a kiss on top of his head.

“You have a point there. I’ll go into Bozeman on Monday to look for a desk.” Cas says as he leans into Dean’s touch.

 “Sounds good.” Dean backed up so Cas could turn to face him. “Go get dressed so we can get morning chores done before your lunch date with Eileen. I also have something I want to show you outside.” Dean winked at him as he backed towards the front door to pull his boots on.

Cas eyed him suspiciously as he went but he didn’t question him. He knew Dean had a surprise for him, Dean couldn’t keep secrets from him; his eyes would dance with excitement right before the big secret was revealed. He just had no clue what it could be. Cas nodded and walked up the stairs to change.

When he came back down, Dean was waiting for him with his coat and hat in hand. Cas sat down on the bench in the entryway and pulled on his now well-worn cowboy boot and took the jacket from Dean; pulling it on over his black t-shirt and blue and white flannel he stole from Dean’s side of the closet. He took the cowboy hat from Dean and placed it snuggly on his head and smiled at him. Dean leaned in and kissed him softly before Cas turned around and headed out the door, Dean pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he admired Cas’s ass in his favorite pair of ass and thigh tight jeans.

When they got out onto the patio Cas began to walk down the steps but was stopped when a strong hand wrapped around his bicep, bringing him to a stop. Cas turned around and raised an eyebrow at Dean expectantly.

Dean was silent as he reached into his jacket pocket and produced a bandana.

“What’s that for?” Cas asked.

Dean folded it long ways until it was about two inches wide and said, “Close your eyes.” with a wicked grin.

“Dean – I…” Cas started to protest but was cut off by Dean rolling his eyes and shoving the bandana over his eyes and tying it around the back of his head. Cas just laughed at the situation he was currently in. This being one of the many reasons he loved Dean; he loves a good surprise. Dean takes Cas’s hand in one of his while his other arm slips around his waist, and he leads him down the steps and over to the front of the old Dodge pickup.

Dean steps around to stand in front of Cas for a minute and waves a hand in front of his face. “Can’t see anything Can you?” he asks for good measure.

“Dean,” Cas deadpanned, “Don’t ask stupid questions.” Cas’s mouth quirked up slightly in the corner, trying to force away the smile that was trying to show itself. Dean laughed heartily and put one hand on his shoulder as he went to stand behind him once again. He grabbed the back of the bandana and lifted, pulling it from Cas’s face.

When Cas felt Dean take the bandana off, he opened his eyes. He couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t quite sure what was happening. His mouth fell open with a question on the tip of his tongue, but nothing escaped his lips. He took in the sight of Dean’s old truck sitting right where he parked it the night before, only now there was a giant red bow tied to the hood. Cas turned around; mouth still agape to see Dean silently chuckling with a wide grin on his face.

“Have I rendered you speechless?” Dean teased.

“I – A little. What is this?” Cas asked, gesturing towards the truck.

“What does it look like sweetheart?”

“It looks like your truck has a big red bow on it… Like it’s a present, but that can’t be right. You love this truck.” Dean could hear the hope in Cas’s voice that he seemed to be trying to rein in. That’s when he knew this was the perfect present.

“Correction – your truck. Happy birthday Cas.” Dean placed a kiss to Cas’s temple as he stared at the truck.

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.” Dean joked but meant it, placing the keys to the truck in Cas’s hand.

“Thank you love. But what are you going to drive for ranch errands? Plus, you love this truck.” Cas was concerned now, and Dean could sense his hesitation. He wanted to stop him before he tried to not accept it.

“I’ll do what I’ve been doing the last few months every time you took the truck. I’ll take your Tundra. I’ll still take it out sometimes and I still have work I want to do on it but it’s obvious you love to drive it so, it’s yours.” Dean had wrapped his arms around Cas when he turned towards him. there was moisture building in Cas’s eyes that he tried to blink away.

“I love you Dean Winchester.” Cas raised a hand to Dean’s face and ran his thumb along his cheek.

Dean leaned into the touch, “Love you too Cas.”

Dean kissed him for a moment before walking him backwards till he hit the front of the truck. They made out for a long while before the horses could be heard stomping against the stall doors and the cows started to low. They both pulled away, breathless and laughing. They went about the rest of the morning doing their chores until it was time for Cas to go to lunch with Eileen. As soon as Dean saw Cas drive past their house with Eileen in the passenger seat, he ran outside and hopped in Baby to head to the airport.

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 Dean got a text on his way to the airport from Sam, letting him know he picked up Chuck and Gabriel, and Dean picked Michael, Anna and the baby up without any problems. Dean was driving the Tundra and Michael had commented on how nice the truck was, Dean just laughed and said that he didn’t pick it out, Cas did. It was clear in Michael’s reaction to Dean’s answer that he realized just how little he knew about his own brother. From what Dean could tell, he seemed eager to amend that. Anna was pleasant as always and Dean was glad they knew how to install the car seat into the truck because Dean had no idea how those contraptions worked. He dropped them off at the Roadhouse and introduced them to Bobby and Ellen before he headed back to the house.

Cas enjoyed his lunch with Eileen, they had good conversation and good food. Eileen was about a month away from having her baby and Cas was helping her put together the final touches on the small baby shower they were having. Cas had found that he loved to decorate after he bought his first condo; it had needed a little love and he ended up turning a dated condo into a modern home. He had sold it 2 years after he bought it for twice the original price he purchased it for. With that in mind, he had offered to help Eileen decorate and paint the baby’s room along with the occasional help from Dean since he designed and built his own home, and it was beautiful. Poor Sam was quite clueless when it came to interior design, so he left everything to them, only there to help move furniture or compliment on how great everything looked.

When Cas got back to the house, he found Dean working on some of the plans for the brood mare barn and the bunkhouse. They went over some things and Cas started his search for a livestock guardian dog as well. Unbeknownst to Dean, Cas was also planning to look into getting a dog to help Dean herd the cattle. They had many conversations about growing the herd and it would be a good asset to have. Of course, Dean would argue that he already has Miracle, and Miracle does go out with Dean almost every day, but he has no idea how to keep a herd in line or help move them. He’s a great dog, but he loves running around and playing, his main job is loving Dean and that is just fine.

After a while they got up to go do evening chores early so they could head to the Roadhouse for Cas’s party. Charlie had texted him to tell him she would be there on time, and he was excited to see her. He and Charlie had grown close, she came up to the ranch at least once a month and Dean was enjoying seeing his best friend become best friends with his boyfriend. Cas cleaned stalls while Dean prepped and dumped feed and hay to the three horses who acted like they hadn’t eaten in months (they got fed twice a day plus turn out thank you very much).

With the chickens fed and locked in their coop along with the horses and cows being tended too, they finally loaded up into the Impala and headed out to the Roadhouse.

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Thanks to the fact that Dean and Sam picked up Cas’s family, there were no unfamiliar cars in the Roadhouse parking lot. Dean parked the car and was doing everything in his power to keep the huge smile that was threatening to play across his face at bay. Apparently, he wasn’t doing a very good job because as they exited the car and walked hand in hand towards the front door, Cas looked at him and said, “Dean, what are you trying to hide from me?”

“Nothing!” Dean defended, shrugging one shoulder and looking down at the ground.

Cas was trying to hold back a smile by biting his bottom lip to little effect, “You’re a bad liar Dean Winchester.” Cas pointed a finger at him accusingly.

Dean chanced a look at Cas, hoping his face wouldn’t give away more than he apparently had already had. When he tipped his head towards Cas, he saw the hint of a smile he was trying to hide.

“Am not!” he tried to protest. “Ok fine, only to you sometimes.” He defended as he leaned in and placed a kiss on Cas’s cheek. They smiled at each other as Dean opened the door to the bar for him with a huge grin on his face.

 Cas didn’t know what Dean had up his sleeve, he kept his eyes on Dean as he opened the door and stepped through, only to be slapped in the face with a chorus of “Happy Birthday!” from inside the building.

Cas was standing frozen in the threshold of the door, his mouth hanging open in shock. He felt Dean nudge him inside and he took a mindless step towards the familiar, smiling faces he didn’t think he would get to see for a few more months. When his brain finally caught up with his feet, they carried him quicker towards the crowd of his family and friends standing at the bar. The first person he caught eyes with and rushed towards was Gabriel. They slammed into one another in a tight hug. Dean watched on with a satisfied grin on his face as he watched Cas reunite with his family.

“You’re here! I Can’t believe your all here!” Cas exclaimed when he pulled back and held Gabriel at arm’s length.

“Hey Cassie.” Gabe greeted with a smile.

Cas proceeded to hug Anna and Michael and then his father. He turned to Dean who was lingering a few feet behind him. “Thank you, my love.” He placed a loving hand on the side of Dean’s face and pulled him into a soft kiss.

“Anything for you sweetheart.” Dean grinned.

They stared lovingly into each other’s eyes for a beat too long when red hair bounced into their peripheral vision and a familiar voice called out, “Hey bitches, the best friend doesn’t get a hug? What am I, chopped liver?” Charlie joked.

Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh and Cas blushed a little as he chuckled and turned to his best friend, “It is so good to see you, Charlie.” Cas wrapped his arms around her and picked her up.

Everyone else went to greet and wish Cas a happy birthday. Cas was sad that his nephew was napping upstairs, but Anna assured him that he could hold him as much as he wanted when he woke up.

Over the next two hours they ate the trays of lasagna and bread that Ellen and Eileen had made, they played a few hands of poker before they started a heated game of monopoly. Cas was currently winning against Dean, Sam, Charlie, Gabe, Chuck, Michael and Bobby while Ellen was perched behind Bobby trying to “help” him, much to his dismay. Anna was talking with Eileen about the nursery Cas and Dean helped remodel while both occasionally throwing encouragement and suggestions to their losing husbands. Cas said his luck was coming from the bundle that was currently asleep in his arms. His nephew adored him, and Dean was only losing the game because he couldn’t take his eyes off Cas.

Cas was so at ease holding his nephew, it came so natural to him and that warmed Dean’s heart while simultaneously breaking it. Once again, the thought of them having to settle for just being fun uncles crossed Dean’s mind, and he had to blink back the tears that were threatening to make an appearance. No one seemed to notice except for Cas of course. He gave Dean a sympathetic look as Dean tried to school his expression and focus on the game he was about to lose. A little later and Cas had delivered the fatal blow and beaten everyone.

Ellen went into the back to bring out the two pies Dean made for Cas: one blueberry and one apple. Dean place candles in the apple pie while Cas gently handed over his sleeping nephew to Anna. Cas rested a hand on Dean’s arm to stop him from lighting the candles and asked everyone to pick up their drinks; he had something he wanted to say.

“I just wanted to say that this last year since I made the decision to move to this small town has been a rollercoaster of different emotions.” He paused, looking down at the whiskey in his hand then back up to his family.

He smiled. “So many amazing things both terrifying and exhilarating have happened. Somehow fate has been good to me and reunited me with the love of my life that I lost years ago and thought I would never get back.” He looked to Dean beside him with a smile. “And in turn, I’ve received the most amazing, accepting and loving found family I could ever ask for. I never would’ve imagined that moving here would cause me to get my brother and father back, I will forever be grateful to have ya’ll back in my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love every single one of you and I am so glad to have met you all.”

He turned to Dean once more and took his hand. “And you Dean, I cannot begin to tell you how happy and thankful I am to have literally ran into you one year ago tonight. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so glad to have you back in my life and for good. I was lost and down a dark path when I moved here, and you saved me. Thank you. I love you.”

Cas ended his speech with tears welling in his eyes as he looked out at his family who said in unison, “To Cas!”

Dean pulled Cas in by his hand, a little moisture welling in his eyes and slammed their mouths together. Dean had no idea how much Cas felt like Dean had saved him and he just wanted to hold him for a moment, so that’s what he did. With the whoops and hollers of his friends and family along with Gabe telling them to get a room.

They pulled back and laughed in their own little bubble for a moment before Dean said, “Alright lover boy, no more chick flick moments. I love you too.” And lit the candles. They all sang happy birthday to Cas and he didn’t think he had ever felt happier. Little did he know that Dean had one more thing up his sleeve that would make them both very happy. (Pun intended.)

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“What else could you possibly have planned this late at night?” Cas questioned Dean quietly as he drove. Him, Dean, Gabriel and Chuck were piled into the Impala heading back to the ranch for the night after the party. The birthday party had winded down around 10:30pm, not long after they had cut and ate the delicious pies Dean made.

“You’ll see.” Was all Dean said, flashing his most charming smile. Cas rolled his eyes and looked out the window at the full moon and clear night sky.

They pulled up to the house and all stepped out of the car. Charlie was spending the night with Jo for some “quality girl time” as she called it, so it was just Chuck and Gabe staying at the ranch. Gabe having been to the ranch before, smiled and couldn’t wait to see the changes Cas had been telling him about over the last few months. Chuck though had never been. In fact, he had never been anywhere close to a working ranch let alone stay at one. His mouth fell open when he stepped out of the car and looked up at the beautiful house in front of him, lit up by the many porch lights and string lights Dean had installed.

Chuck’s mouth was hanging open as he stared up at the large house. Dean chuckled under his breath, used to the awed reaction that most people had when they first saw the large ranch home.

“Gabe.” Dean addressed.

Gabe turned to look at him. “Yeah Dean-o?”

“I trust you know your way around our house enough to show Chuck his sleeping arrangements and the bathroom in the hall and anything else he might need?” Dean had already talked to Gabriel about this; he had somewhere to take Cas so Gabe would be showing Chuck to his room.

“You got it. You two don’t have too much fun.” Gabe winked at Cas.

Cas looked on slightly confused with a furrowed brow. He looked at Dean, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head like he always did when he was trying to figure something out. Dean thought it was adorable. Chuck was laughing quietly and waved his goodbye as he followed Gabe towards the house.

“Goodnight!” he called.

“Come on sunshine.” Dean was leaning against the top of the Impala, his gaze fixed on Cas. He tipped his head in the direction of the barn and pushed off the car. Cas followed closely behind.

They reached the barn and Dean pushed the door open, flipping on the light as horses greeted them. He walked over to the feed room and grabbed a basket and the couple thick blankets from inside the door then turned back around and headed back outside the barn.

“Flip the light off and shut the door will ya?” He asked Cas.

Cas did as Dean asked, still with a confused look on his face. “Dean, what’s in the basket and what else do you have planned this late at night?”

They were walking towards the trucks now as Dean smiled to himself and said, “It’s not that late babe. It’s only…” He glanced at his watch, “11:04pm.”

Cas rolled his eyes.

They reached the old Dodge pickup and Dean opened the passenger door for Cas before walking around and climbing in the driver’s side. Dean set the basket in the back seat and checked to make sure the shot gun was hanging in the gun rack across the back window. He cranked the truck as Cas gave him a questioning look, he sent a wink and a confident smile to Cas as he threw the truck in gear and headed towards the back field.

They drove in silence for a few minutes, Cas letting Dean enjoy having his little secret without him pestering him about where they could be going even though it was driving him crazy not to.

Dean finally broke the silence as the stream that ran through the property came in to view. “I planned on doing this on horseback but with the coyote thing that happened I thought this would be safer.”

“I’m sure it will be just as enjoyable.”

“Damn straight.” Dean winked.

He reached the spot where there was a clump of trees by the stream and parked the truck. Cas had figured out what Dean was planning when the stream came into view, the bright moonlight bouncing off the surface. They got out of the truck and Dean grabbed the basket and the blankets before meeting Cas at the tailgate. Cas lower it for Dean and then he helped him spread the 2 of the 3 large, fluffy blankets across the truck bed.

“What’s the third one for?” Cas asked, hopping up to sit on the tailgate.

Dean had folded it so it looked like a body pillow then climbed in the bed and laid it out where their heads would be. “Makeshift pillow.”

“Ah.”

“Hand me the basket and get your ass up here.” Dean commanded as he sat down and patted the spot next to him.

Cas chuckled and grabbed the basket then went to sit down next to Dean. he set the basket down in front of them. Dean pulled the cup towel off the top of the basket to reveal two beers sitting between two ice packs and a bottle of whiskey. He pulled out the two beers and set the basket at their feet, handing a beer to Cas. Cas took it with a smile and scooted closer to his boyfriend.

******

Dean got lucky; it was a beautiful, clear night. The moon was huge and bright, the stars were bountiful and seemed to dance across the sky. They had finished their beers about an hour ago and they were sharing the bottle of whiskey. Dean was laying on his back, one arm above his head the other slung around Cas’s shoulders. Cas was laying with his head tucked into the crook of Dean’s neck, his right hand resting across his chest. They were watching the stars and playing games of who can find the weirdest shape in the sky when a shooting star flew by.

“Oh wow. I’ve never seen a shooting star!” Cas exclaimed excitedly.

Dean turned to look at Cas, a goofy grin filled with love played across his face. “Make a wish sunshine.”

Cas smiled at him then looked back up to the sky. I wish to give you the family you deserve. Cas thought to himself.

Between a very pregnant Eileen who he couldn’t help but dote on anytime he was around her, and Anna with little William, Dean’s soft, nurturing side came out. Between him and Sam Eileen never had to lift a finger to do anything, they were both always right there. Not that she didn’t appreciate it, but she was a very independent woman. She had told Cas that was why she enjoyed their lunches together; he wasn’t about to let her do anything strenuous, but he knew she could get her own glass of water. All that night Cas could find Dean holding or making a funny face at little four-month-old William. It warmed Cas’s heart but he could also see pain flash behind Dean’s eyes every now and then; the idea of possibly never having a family clearly still in the forefront of his mind.

Dean made a silent wish of his own on that star, the wish to build a family with Cas. but when Cas turned to him and asked, “What did you wish for?”

Dean lied. “A good calf season.” It was a bad lie, and he knew it. He could tell by the look Cas gave him that he knew he was lying, and he knew what he really wanted, but Cas didn’t seem like he was going to push for an explanation.

 Instead, Cas offered his own wish, “I wished to have more nights like these.” He smiled gently at Dean.

Cas said it so genuinely that Dean never would’ve known that it too was a lie. Not that it wasn’t true, Cas did want as many nights like this as possible, but it wasn’t something he needed to wish upon a star for. Dean seemed to believe him, so he said nothing more when Dean hummed in agreement.

The thoughts were put out of both their minds when the hand Cas had resting on Dean’s chest started to wonder. Cas was just going to do some light teasing, unbeknownst to him, Dean had a plan. When Cas’s hand started to slowly migrate south, Dean turned to face Cas. Dean grabbed his hip roughly and pulled him flush against him, rolling his hips into him. Cas could already feel Dean’s arousal push against his inner thigh as he kisses him, biting down on Dean’s lip and tugging. They made out for a while, all rough teeth and tongue while grinding their growing erections into one another.

It wasn’t as cold as the night before, so when Dean made a move to pop Cas’s belt, Cas eagerly pushed up and helped Dean rid him of his clothes.

Dean was kissing his way down Cas’s chest when Cas tugged on the back of his flannel, “to many layers.”

Dean chuckled and shucked off his flannel before pulling his t-shirt over his head and undoing his pants, kicking off both jeans and his cowboy boots at the same time. He had forgone boxers when he changed this afternoon in preparation for this moment.

“Hmmm, that’s better.” Cas said.

Dean resumed his worshiping of Cas’s body, sucking marks and licking his way from Cas’s neck down to his hips and right next to where his aching cock was ready and waiting for any attention Dean was willing to give it.

“Cas, I wanna try something, but it’s gonna require some… positioning.” Dean tried to explain though his arousal filled brain.

Cas chuckled, “I’m always in the mood for an experiment.” He raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Dean’s smiled widened as he pulled Cas to sit up so he could switch places with him. Cas looked a little confused as Dean laid down and told him to straddle his chest backwards. Cas did as he was told, once mounted he figure out what Dean had in mind. He had never done it in this position, but he was eager to see what Dean had up his sleeve. He hovered over Dean’s chest and waited for further instructions. Dean reached up and grabbed Cas’s hips, gently pulling him to bring his ass closer to his face.

Cas got the message at once, leaning down and taking Dean’s leaking cock in his mouth, moaning around it when the precum hit his tongue as he inched back just a little more for Dean. Dean moaned and bit his lip at the sensation that went through him when Cas sucked his cock all the way down to the hilt. Once he regained control, he placed his hands on Cas’s ass cheeks and spread them apart, then dove into his tight hole with his tongue, lapping and sucking and doing just about anything to pull the sounds he loved the most from the man he loved the most. He reveled in those sounds and the feeling of Cas’s rock-hard cock leaking onto his stomach.

Ten minutes later found Dean 3 fingers deep in Cas while he sucked his cock into his mouth. The last few minutes since Dean had worked a third finger in and was hitting Cas’s prostate with every thrust had Cas a writhing mess above him, unable to do anything but close his eyes and lose himself in the feeling of Dean’s fingers filling him so perfectly. Cas groaned deep and loud as Dean quickened his pace and sucked his cock sloppy and hard.

Before Cas knew it, his orgasm hit him like a freight train. He came down Dean’s throat with a deep guttural groan and Dean’s name falling from his lips like a prayer, “De-Dean! Dean, o- oh Dean. Fuck!”

Dean swallowed every hot rope of cum Cas shot down his throat and milked him for everything he had. He let Cas’s cock fall from his mouth and slowly removed his fingers as Cas lay panting on top of him. he slapped his ass and gently pushed him off. His cock ached and the tip was an angry dark pink and leaking from being neglected for the last few minutes. Dean was wiping a hand down his face when Cas had gotten his second wind. Dean yelped at the sudden feeling of Cas’s warm, wet mouth around his cock. It was almost too much to handle. He fisted handfuls of the blanket under him with both hands as he looked down at Cas with an, “Oh fuck!”

Cas just grinned around his dick, loving the way he was able to tear Dean apart. It didn’t take long, and Dean doesn’t remember ever being that vocal during any sexual act ever. But tonight, felt different. Dean always felt emotionally attached to Cas, but tonight his emotions ran even higher as the sole object of his affection looked him directly in the eye while he moaned around his cock, sending vibrations and a shiver up his spine.

“Sonofabitch Cas.” Dean panted as his mouth fell open. He felt that familiar fire simmering under his skin and in his belly. His hips jerked upwards, shoving his cock deeper down Cas’s throat, but Cas’s firm grasp was on his hips in a second, pinning him in place. Dean loved when Cas manhandled him and that’s all it took for him to tip over the glorious edge.

“I’m gonna- oh fuck!” Dean came hard down Cas’s throat with a moan and grabbed onto Cas’s hair with one hand, riding out his high as Cas did the same thing to Dean that he had done to him; milking him for everything he had until his hips stuttered from overstimulation. Dean was trying to catch his breath as Cas wiped his mouth on the edge of the blanket then crawled up to lay against his side. They kissed passionately; an emotion Dean knew well thrumming through his veins like fire.

“I love you so goddamn much.” Dean whispered against Cas’s lips with a little too much emotion behind it.

Cas sat up on one elbow with a slightly concerned look on his face. “Are you alright love?”

“Yeah- yeah I’m good. I just love you.” Dean smiled, trying to regulate his voice and the overwhelming feeling of love he felt for this man.

Cas didn’t look convinced but was satisfied with his answer. Today was an emotional day for them both; it was after all, the day they were reunited.

“I love you too Dean.” Cas beamed, laying his head back on Dean’s chest.

They laid there watching the stars with the blanket pulled up around them until they both started to doze off. When Dean looked at his watch, he was surprised to find that it was two in the morning. They lazily got dressed and got back into the truck. When they got back to the house Dean parked in the usual spot next to the barn and they made their way inside, opening the door quietly and heading up to bed. when they opened the door to their room, they found miracle already laying at the foot of their bed. Dean chuckled and pulled Cas towards the bathroom where they showered quickly, though still running loving hands and lips over the others body as they washed the evidence of their “roll in the hay” way from their bodies. When they got out and dried off, neither one was willing to put on a pair of boxers.

They brushed their teeth and crawled into bed, Cas wrapping himself around Dean and whispering, “Thank you for everything.”

“Anything for you sweetheart. Happy birthday angel.” Dean kissed the top of Cas’s unruly hair and Cas hummed in contentment, nestling into Dean’s neck and breathing in the scent of the man he has grown so fond of. It wasn’t long before sleep overtook them both.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29

The River

Chuck and Gabriel stayed for an entire week while Anna, Michael and the baby left on Monday morning so Michael could get back to the law firm. Michael said he had somethings to discuss with Cas and in a few weeks, he would be calling him. Cas had no idea what his big brother was talking about but when he asked what it was about, Michael had said he couldn’t tell him just yet. Cas decided to shrug it off and continue enjoying the time he had with his father and Gabriel.

They spent the week taking Chuck and Gabriel on hikes and showing them the scenery along with sharing their plans for the ranch and showing them all the animals. By the time they had to leave, Chuck had fallen in love with Miracle and said he wanted to get a companion that could go running with him in the city when he got back. It was a good week; a fun week and Cas enjoyed every second of it.

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October 2010

The next month leading up to Halloween found Cas and Dean on a car lot in Bozeman buying two work trucks for the ranch. It had been an interesting venture for the pair. They went to the Chevy dealership in town and were looking at trucks when something caught Cas’s attention. Sitting in the back of the lot was an old, completely rusted, and broken-down 1952 Chevy 3100 truck. Dean was looking over a new 2011 Silverado 3500 with the salesman that had helped them pick out the 2011 Silverado 1500 twenty minutes ago. Cas had elbowed Dean and pointed out the truck. Dean’s jaw had dropped, and he said that it made him sad to see a once beautiful classic car rotting in the back of the lot. Cas loved that Dean had gifted him the classic Dodge truck for his birthday, but he still felt a little guilty.

They managed to leave the dealership the new owners of two brand new trucks for the ranch and while Dean was dealing with the payments, Cas had excused himself and found a salesman of his own to inquire about the old truck in the back of the lot. He learned that it had been owned by an elderly couple who had bought the truck when they got married and owned since then. The man, a veteran, was old and tired; not having the energy to drive for the last few years and being unable to work on the truck to keep it looking and running its best. It had sat outside the man’s sons house the last few years.

When the old man had sadly passed, his son towed in the old truck and took what he could get for it. The story broke Castiel’s heart and he couldn’t bear to leave the car lot without the truck. The salesman took him out to take a better look at it; the outside was severely rusted to the point you were unable to tell what color it once was, the engine was shot, and numerous other things were broken and rotted through, including all four old whitewall tires were flat and rotten. But when Cas opened the driver’s door he was transported to a different era. The inside was immaculate, clearly the old man had loved and taken care of this truck. The dark burgundy color of the leather seats only had a light layer of dust on them and there wasn’t a scratch on them. the dashboard was a beautiful matte black with chrome trim. If Cas wasn’t already in love with it from its origin story, he immediately fell in love with the potential it had to be that again. All it needed was a little love from Dean.

Cas and the salesman made quick work of the sale, everyone there seeming to be happy to see it going to such a good home where it would be rebuilt. Cas paid the four thousand dollars for it and arranged for it to be dropped off at Bobby’s Salvage yard the following day. By the time Dean found Cas again he was pretending to look at a new Tahoe. With Sam having dropped them off, they each got in a truck and headed for the ranch.

The next day Cas went to Bobby’s to meet the delivery truck. When Bobby saw the decrepit condition the truck was in, he said Cas was crazy for buying it, but when Cas told him it was a project for him and Dean to work on together bobby seemed to change his tune. Bobby helped Cas get it under a carport behind the shop and threw a tarp over it. Cas had decided to give it to Dean as a Christmas present and knew Bobby would help keep it a secret if Dean came poking around the shop before Christmas like he used to before they started building on the ranch.

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Halloween 2010

Even though Dean loved Halloween, it was a more casual affair than normal this year. Charlie, Benny and Andrea all came to the roadhouse like usual, but Dean and Cas were exhausted from trying to build the bunkhouse all by themselves. Benny was busier than normal at his restaurant, so he was only able to help out a handful of times. Sam was now out for the count since Eileen’s doctor put her on bedrest for the remaining month of her pregnancy, and Bobby helped as much as he could between the Salvage yard and the Roadhouse.  

Eileen was a small woman, only 5ft2in and next to Sam’s 6ft 4in stature she looked tiny. Anytime the four of them went anywhere, it always looked like Eileen had 3 bodyguards with them towering over her what with her husband’s height, Dean’s 6ft 2in height and his muscular build and Cas being 6ft tall with a naturally broad build. Eileen’s doctor had said that the baby was bigger than normal, (thanks to Sam’s moose stature.) but she was still on schedule, that was why she needed to take it easy. It was difficult for her to slow down though; she was used to being the extra set of hands on the ranch and she could put in a full day’s work. Dean loved when she would come out to help and he missed it. Now if she wanted to get out of the house she would come sit on Dean’s porch and watch him and Castiel work.

  So, this Halloween was simple, with Dean reusing his Han Solo costume.

“Han Solo again this year Cher?” Benny commented teasingly.

Dean flipped him off and took a long pull from his beer. “Too tired to find a new costume. Next year I’ll be back.”

Benny nodded and chuckled before turning to Cas, “And what are you supposed to be feather?” he asked, using the nickname that seemed to have adopted Cas after his Holy Accountant costume last year.

Cas still dressed in his working ranch attire, left his Stetson on and deadpanned, “I’m an overworked space cowboy.” Benny and everyone in the bar within earshot burst out laughing.  

Dean threw his arm around Cas’s shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. Dean loved his Space Cowboy, even more so when everyone mistook his sarcasm for humor, Dean always got it. It was an early night for the duo, they went home around 10pm and passed out in their bed.

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November 2010

After Halloween, at the beginning of November was Eileen’s baby shower. Since Sam and Eileen had all the furniture and big items they would need, it was more of just a party to celebrate the soon to be mother and father than a required gift giving shower. Of course, everyone that came brought a gift. The gifts consisted of Dean and Cas bringing 6 cases of diapers and wipes along with some adorable onesies Cas had picked out at Target along with a custom onesie that Said, “Winchester Ranch” on the front and “Ranch Hand in Training” on the back.

Charlie brought towels and bath stuff, Ellen and Bobby got them a custom-made blanket that said “Little Winchester” on it and some sleepers, Jo pitched in with some more diapers, Benny and Andrea brought more onesies and a few toys. Dean surprised Sam and flew Jody in for the occasion, and Donna, their friend that owned the club came bearing gifts of her own. And even Gabriel sent a baby care package from New York filled with infant toys and onesie.

The last thing Eileen made Sam do was trade in his Prius for something more functional for a family. She said he needed something to drive while he was alone with the baby, and she refused to drive the Prius. They went to the dealership and brought home a new white 2011 Chevy Tahoe. Needless to say, they were ready for whenever this baby arrived.

Eileen’s due date was November 27^th, she went to the doctor the day before Thanksgiving, and the doctor said everything looked good. The doctor thought she might go a few days past her due date but that was fine. They were just planning on enjoying thanksgiving with the family and trying to relax before the baby got here.

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November 25^th, 2010

8am. Thanksgiving Day

Dean came in the door, stomping the snow off his boots and shaking off his Stetson and coat. Thankfully it wasn’t a blizzard out there, but there was a significant amount of snow already on the ground when it started to snow again at 5am. He was coming in from tend to all the animals. Cas had put out an ad for a ranch hand but so far no one that wasn’t just passing through had called. Cas was in the kitchen preparing the turkey to go into the oven. They were hosting Thanksgiving this year so that Eileen didn’t have to go far; in fact, she was currently sitting at a barstool talking to Cas. The Thanksgiving Day parade was starting in an hour, so Cas had the tv on and turned to the correct station. After going to it every year as an adult, he wanted to watch it while they cooked.

Dean walked over and kissed Eileen on the cheek, “Hey Eileen.”

Then he walked around the island and brought Cas in for a long kiss and a, “Hey tiger.”

He pulled away and smacked Cas on the ass as he went to pull the bag of potatoes out of the pantry. Cas rolled his eyes affectionately at one of the many nicknames Dean had for him and continued his conversation with Eileen. Around 9am Sam came into the house followed by their dog Thor who was covered in snow from the walk between the two houses. Thor shook the snow off then ran over to where Miracle was napping and proceeded to jump directly on top of his head. Everyone laughed as they watched them start to play.

“Sammy!” Dean called from where he was basting the turkey in the oven.

“Hey guys.” Sam set down the two casseroles he made on the counter and kissed Eileen then went to hang his coat up.

a little while later Dean was mashing the potatoes and bopping is head along to some boy band singing in the parade on the tv that he’d never heard of. Sam tried to make fun of him for it to which Dean came around the counter and put him in a head lock.

“Say it!” Dean shouted, keeping his arm around his brother’s neck while he squirmed, trying his damnedest to get out of the headlock. Cas and Eileen looked on, both shaking their heads at the brother’s antics.

“Ok, knock it off you two.” Cas said in mock exasperation.

“Say it!” Dean shouted again, louder this time.

“OK! OK! You win!” Sam finally yelled.

Dean immediately let go, both stood up panting slightly. They smiled and laughed at each other.

“You’re still a bitch.” Dean joked before going back to his potatoes.  

“You’re still a jerk.” Sam sat down next to Eileen and put his arm around her.

Dean snorted and said, “I’m not the one who secretly listens to Celine Dion.”

“Dean!” Sam yell. Cas and Eileen doing their best to stifle their laughter. “I told you not to tell anyone that.” Sam admonished.

Cas and Eileen both burst out laughing and Dean was chuckling and shaking his head.

“What’s so funny?” Sam was confused now.

Eileen couldn’t seem to get her laughter under control, so Cas said, “Sam, everyone knows you have a love for Celine Dion. You sang a couple of her songs when you got hammered at karaoke night.”

Sam turned tomato red and stuttered, mouth agape. “Fuck.” He said quietly.

Laughter erupted again as Dean turned the tv off and turned his iPod on, Taylor Swifts You Belong with Me playing through the speakers.

“It’s ok Sammy. We all have our secret artists we like.” Dean put the potato masher down and grabbed Cas’s hand, pulling him to dance with him as he started singing along with the song.

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1:36pm Thanksgiving Day 2010

They were having Thanksgiving lunch at noon this year. Everyone showed up a little before then and once Dean had the football game on the tv they all dug into the turkey, potatoes, dressing, two casseroles, rolls, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce, and Dean’s famous pies. Now they were all sitting around the tv, stuffed to the brim, and watching the game. Sam was sitting on one end of the couch with Eileen’s head in his lap, Cas was sitting on the other end, her feet in his lap while Dean was sitting on the floor in between Cas’s legs. Ellen and bobby were curled up on the love seat and Jo had taken over the big leather chair with Miracle in her lap. Charlie didn’t make it this year; she was currently heading to some techy computer convention for her job that was taking place that weekend in southern California.

They had all been quiet for the last 30 minutes or so, with Eileen dozing and everyone else emersed in the game. They were all startled when Eileen suddenly bolted upright with an “Oh!” and clutching her belly.

Every eye turned to her, Dean and Cas ready to jump at any moment, Sam was the least fazed by this. He gently rubbed circles on her back as she breathed through whatever pain was happening to her.

Once it subsided, she shook her head, signing and saying, “It’s ok. Just some tightness and hard kicks.”    

“That happened a lot last night. That’s why she’s so tired.” Sam offered.

   “What did the doctor say about it?” Ellen provided Dean’s question before he could ask it himself.

“They said she would experience Braxton Hicks contractions. But it wasn’t anything to worry about unless they started being regular and close together, then they were real contractions.” Sam said.

Everyone nodded in acknowledgment and Eileen went to stand up. “I think I’m going to go upstairs and lay down for a while.” She smiled at everyone.

“Go lay on our bed! it’s the most comfortable one.” Dean said and signed what he could to her. She nodded and waved in their general direction before ascending the stairs.

“Is she really ok?” Jo asked concernedly.

“Yeah. She would tell us if she wasn’t.”  Sam reassured everyone. They all left it at that for the next two hours, until Eileen came back downstairs.

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3:45pm Thanksgiving Day 2010

The first football game had ended, and they were waiting for the next to start, all chattering about different things while either eating another helping of food or more dessert. Eileen came down the stairs, a strange tightness low in her belly and the baby was kicking like crazy. Miracle had gone upstairs with her and was currently walking as close as possible to her, whining quietly, and nudging her leg. She leaned down and rubbed his head but that didn’t make him any less insistent on whatever he was trying to tell her.

“There she is!” Dean called from where he was laying in Cas’s lap on the couch eating a piece of apple pie.

“How are you feeling babe?” Sam asked and signed, turning to look at her.

She smiled at him and signed “OK.” Then said, “Pie.”

“Ah. You want me to get it?” Sam signed and spoke.

“I’ve got it.” She said already at the counter.

She got herself a piece of apple pie and started to walk to the couch. Everyone was watching the tv again when they heard what sounded like water splashing onto the floor and then a trickling sound.

Dean had a fork full of pie halfway to his mouth when he and Cas turned to look at Sam with a confused expression. Understanding seemed to hit everyone at the same time; they all turned to look in the direction they knew Eileen was coming from, only to see her standing in a large puddle of water, her leggings completely soaked, mouth agape. She looked up and met everyone’s concerned gaze before the pain hit her and everything began to move in slow motion for everyone.

Sam, Dean and Cas were the first to jump up at the look of pain on Eileen’s face after a moment of shock. Sam got to her first with Dean and Cas hot on his heels, Bobby, Ellen and Jo were next. She had a hand wrapped around her belly and Sam had wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Sam was talking to her when Dean asked, “What needs to happen? Are you in labor?”

Eileen stood up straight as the contraction started to subside for a moment.

“Yeah, she is.” Sam said.

“What do you need from us?” Cas asked.

“Dean can you drive us to the hospital? Cas can you go to our house and grab our bags? They are in the closet in the entryway.”

“Of course.” Dean and Cas said simultaneously.

Everyone sprang into action, Ellen and Sam were helping Eileen to the door when Jo came up and draped her coat around her shoulders. Cas ran to the front door, grabbing his coat and keys and running out the front door to hop in the Tundra to go grab their bags. (It had winter tires on it.) Dean had run off to find his wallet and throw his coat on, Sam throwing him his keys to his Tahoe a moment later. Bobby was holding the front door open for them when they had to stop right before it so that another contraction could pass before they were able to walk to the Tahoe parked right in front of the house. Dean jumped in the front seat and cranked the engine. They got Eileen in the backseat, Sam sliding in after her.

“We will follow you!” Bobby yelled as they walked over to Ellen’s old pickup.

Dean nodded and backed up so he could turn to head down the driveway. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw Cas’s tundra right behind him, Cas gave him a flash of the lights, letting him know he’d follow behind. Sam was helping Eileen breath through her contractions while Dean’s mind raced. He was going to be an uncle. And he was excited.

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10:57pm Thanksgiving Day 2010

The whole family was crammed into the delivery floor waiting room. Everyone was quiet, Ellen and Bobby were sitting next to each other, Bobby was fidgeting with his wedding band, Ellen talking quietly to Jo who had her head resting on her mother’s shoulder. Cas was sitting in a chair across the small room, watching Dean pace back and forth with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. He had tried to get Dean to sit down but he was too nervous. When they had arrived, the nurse had immediately put Eileen in a room. She was 6cm dilated and moving fast. They gave her a little something to take the edge off since the contractions were coming hard and fast. They had all been allowed to be in the room up until about 10 minutes ago when she had reached 10cm and they were prepping her to push. Dean had been pacing since they came in here.

“Boy sit down before you burn a hole in the floor.” Bobby said gruffly, though no real malice was in his voice, only nerves.

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous is all.” Dean plopped down in the hard chair next to Cas. Cas reached over and laced his fingers with Dean’s and squeezed.

“She’ll be fine. They said everything looks great.” Cas offered softly.

“I know. But she’s like a sister to me and I worry.” Dean pulled Cas’s hand up to his mouth and kissed his knuckles, leaving his hand resting against his mouth. It calmed him down as he looked into the eyes of the man he loved.

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12:15am, Friday November 26^th, 2010

Dean stayed sitting down but his knee was bouncing like crazy, and he hadn’t let go of Cas’s hand for what felt like hours. “It’s been a long time. Do you think something is wrong?” He asked.

“Sometimes delivery is a long time of pushing. I pushed for almost an hour with Jo.” Ellen said, trying to put his mind at ease. It did help, Dean nodded and was going to ask another question when the double doors burst open, Sam coming through with a hospital gown over his clothes. They all stood up, waiting expectantly for Sam to say something.

A huge smile played across his face as he announced, “He’s here! It’s a boy! I have a son!” a look of pure joy and shock plastered across his face as a tear fell from his eye. Dean ran forward with a matching look on his face and wrapped his brother in a huge bear hug.

“Congratulations Sammy.” Dean said sincerely.

Sam held on tightly as happy tears fell down his face. “Thanks Dean… For everything.” Dean squeezed his eyes shut, knowing how much weight that thank you held. He was thanking Dean for making him into the man he was.

 Finally, they broke apart and everyone else got a chance to hug and congratulate him. Cas came to stand next to Dean while Ellen was tearfully talking to Sam. Cas slid his hand into Dean’s, leaning in a whispering, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah. Just…” Dean trailed off. Visibly swallowing before looking down at his shoes and saying, “I just wish our mom was here for this.”

Cas smiled sadly, squeezing his hand and saying, “She is.” He placed a hand over Dean’s heart and finished, “She’s right here.”

Dean looked up into Cas’s understanding face as he let the tears finally fall and choked back a sob, drawing in a shaky breath. Dean nodded and wiped his face, trying desperately to compose himself. He took in another shaky breath and said to Sam, “When do we get to meet him?”

Sam turned to him then addressed everyone, “It was a really long delivery and Eileen is exhausted. So, if you can all come back tomorrow morning and meet him, that would be great.”

There was a chorus of agreements before another round of goodbye hugs and congratulations before Sam headed back through the double doors and they all made their way out to the parking lot.

The drive home was quiet, Cas drove while Dean had entangled their hands in his tight grip but stayed silent the entire ride home. Cas didn’t interrupt whatever Dean was thinking about, he knew he needed to be quiet and in his head for the time being and that was ok.

When they got back to the ranch, they still had to tend to all the animals. They went about it as quickly as possible, though they still didn’t fall into bed with Miracle and Sam’s dog Thor at the foot of their bed until almost 2:30 in the morning.

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A more reasonable hour on Friday, November 26^th, 2010

They woke up tired and later than normal, only a few hours after going to sleep. Dean seemed in better spirits and seemed excited as he joked with Cas while they did their morning chores. Now they were heading to the hospital, greasy bags of burgers and fries from their favorite diner in tow for lunch. They made their way into the hospital and up to Eileen’s recovery room. Dean reached out and knocked on the large wooden door. He pushed the door open after Sam told them to come in from the other side. They walked quietly into the room incase Eileen or the baby were asleep. Neither were, Eileen was sitting up in the hospital bed holding the baby.

“Hey guys!” Eileen said brightly with a smile.

“Hey.” Sam said sounding tired. He looked it too.

“Eileen, you look gorgeous as always.” Dean said walking over and kissing her forehead. He turned to Sam with a sarcastic smile and said, “Sammy, you look like hammered shit.” He laughed and pulled his brother in for a tight hug.

Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled, he expected his brother to comment on his currently dwindling appearance. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep last night.” Sam pulled back and looked down shyly.

Cas was signing quietly to Eileen as he sat on the side of the bed. Dean smiled when he turned to look at the two close friends. Cas turned his attention to Sam and asked, “Did the baby keep you up all night?”

Eileen laughed and Sam shook his head. “No, actually he slept really good and didn’t cry much overnight.”

“Then why do you look like roadkill?” Dean asked, knowing his brother was hiding something.

“I uhh, kept checking to make sure he was still breathing all night.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

Dean and Cas chuckled while Eileen was smiling widely. “I slept great. Woke up every 2-3 hours to feed and change him and fell back asleep. Every time I woke up Sam was either checking on him or startling awake hearing me move around.” She spoke and signed with the one hand that wasn’t holding her child.

“Awwww.” Dean and Cas quipped at the same time.

“Dean. Would you like to hold your nephew?” Eileen asked as she gathered the bundle in her arms.

“Yeah.” Was all he could say.

He suddenly found it hard to swallow now that he could see the newborn clearly. Dean leaned down and scooped him up as Eileen held him out. The baby started making cooing noises and Dean gently rocked and shooshed him. Cas came up behind Dean and laid one hand on his shoulder and one on his hip, resting his chin on his shoulder and peering down at the baby. Dean smiled and tried to hold back his emotions.

“What’s his name?” He asked without looking up, afraid his eyes might betray him, and the tears would spill over.

“Robert… Robert Dean Winchester.” Sam said quietly, knowing the effect the name would have on his brother.

Dean looked up at Sam, a look of shock on his face. He quickly looked back down at his nephew, trying desperately to keep the emotions flooding through him at bay. “That’s perfect Sammy.”

“Robert after Bobby?” Cas asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah. It made Bobby cry when we told him. him, Ellen, and Jo were here about thirty minutes before you got here.”

“Well, I’ll-be-damned. The old coot does have a heart.” Dean joked, still not looking away from the baby who had his little fingers wrapped around one of Dean’s. there was a slight shake in his voice.

Cas’s heart broke for him, knowing Dean deflected any emotion with sarcasm or humor. He could see Sam and Eileen both knew this was affecting Dean, Cas just wasn’t sure they knew to what degree.

Dean turned to Cas and asked, “Cas you wanna hold him?”

“I would love too.” Cas smiles as Dean tucked the baby into his arms.

“He looks just like you Sam.” Dean said, still peering over at the baby now in Cas’s arms.

“I think he has Eileen’s nose.” Cas chimed in as he let the baby grab ahold of his finger.

“Everyone has said that. I agree.” Sam said with a smile towards Eileen.

Dean seemed to have a handle on his composure for the time being. They stayed and ate their lunch with the new parents, the boys taking turns holding little Robert so Eileen could eat her burger and fries in peace. Dean had seemed normal for the most part while they were at the hospital, but the ride home was unusually quiet. Dean seemed distant and distracted. Cas made up his mind he was going to make sure that he was ok when they got home.

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POV: DEAN

They pulled up to the house and got out of the truck. It had stopped snowing that morning thankfully, so they would work on the bunkhouse this afternoon.

“I’m going to go check on the horses. I’ll meet you at the bunkhouse.” Dean said flatly before walking towards the barn with his head hung.

He really did want to check on the horses but only for the comfort that their soft nickers and warm muzzles brought him. He pulled open the big door and stepped inside, greeted by the sound of the three horses. Dean made a beeline for Zeppelin’s stall, unlocking it and stepping inside, resting his head against the horse’s forehead, just as the flood gate for all the pent-up emotions he was feeling at the hospital burst forth.

It was not anger, ok maybe it was a little bit of anger but that was solely towards the drunk driver that took his mother from him and Sam; it was mostly sadness. Sadness that his mother wasn’t here to meet her first grandchild, sadness that in a way, the drunk driver also took their father from them. Sadness that the world couldn’t yet see that love was love no matter who it was for. Sadness that he wouldn’t be able to have a mini-Cas running around the ranch. Sadness that he felt a pang of jealousy that his brother got to enjoy fatherhood and he never would. As the tears silently fell from the tip of his nose onto the black forelock of his horse, Dean reminded himself that he had made peace with being the fun uncle (he was lying to himself). He already had so much love for that squishy little baby, and he was ready to start spoiling him.

He sniffled and wiped at his eyes when he heard the barn door creak open a little more and the voice he loved the most call out, “Dean? Are you in here?”

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POV: Switch

It wasn’t odd for Dean to check on the horses in the middle of the day, especially in the winter. What Cas found odd was the tone of his voice. Cas went into the house; he was greeted by Miracle and Thor before he walked into the office to check on his emails. He walked over to his desk (he found a handmade dark walnut, live edge desk with a piece of glass down the middle a few weeks ago.) flipping open his computer and pulling up his email. It only took him a minute to check on the delivery date for the materials coming for the barns in the new year. Once he confirmed the date, he closed his computer and headed back out the front door. Cas looked towards the bunkhouse, expecting to see Dean already working on it but he was nowhere to be seen. Cas had a feeling Dean was still in the barn, letting out whatever emotions he had been holding back in the comfort of his horse’s mane. Sure enough, the barn door was still open, (Dean always closed it) and Zeppelin’s stall door was ajar.

Not wanting to startle him, Cas called out, “Dean? Are you in here?”

That’s when he heard the sniffle and shuffling of shavings on the stall floor.

“Yeah!” another sniffle coming from Zeppelin’s stall. “I’m right here.” Dean came out wiping his eyes on the back of his Carhart jacket sleeve.

Cas looked concerned as he walked towards Dean, reaching out to pull him into a bone crushing hug. “Are you ok?” Cas asked as Dean’s arms came to rest on his hips.

Dean shook his head yes, saying, “Yeah, I’m good. Just a lot of emotions I didn’t know I would have.”

“In a way, I understand.” Cas let go of Dean with a squeeze of his shoulder. Dean gave a sad smile, knowing that in his own way, Cas did understand. His mother might not be dead, but she was a royal bitch that would never be a part of their lives. And Dean figured Cas knew he would also have to make peace with the role of fun uncle as well. He once again hoped that would be enough for Cas.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas asked gently.

Dean took a step to the side and scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’ve made my peace with being the fun uncle… I’m – more than happy for Sam, hell I’m fucking thrilled. I can’t wait to spoil that baby…” Dean trailed off, looking down at the ground for a moment and rubbing the back of his neck.

Cas stayed quiet, listening intently. It’s not often Dean spoke his mind freely. Cas could see the pain on his face as he tried to keep himself in check.

“I want to be a father…” Dean whispered, chin quivering slightly. “I want the chance to do it right, do it better than my father did with us. I helped raise Sam and I think I did a damn good job of it. But that’s not the same.” Dean looked at Cas with a sad smile and continued, “But I’ve made my peace with not having kids. I know I could, but I only want to have kids with one person and that one person is you. I know it’s not a possibility for us and that’s ok… But it doesn’t mean I can’t be pissed about it.”

Dean’s sadness was replaced by love and a little bit of anger. Cas had only ever heard him open up like this of his own free will and without the influence of alcohol once before. Frankly he was stunned.

Cas took a few steps towards Dean until he was standing directly in front of him, tilting his head to pull Dean’s gaze back up to him. Once he had his eyes again Cas said, “Dean I want you to be a father. I think you did an amazing job helping with Sam and I have no doubt you would make an amazing father. You have every right to be angry that the road to fatherhood is near impossible for you than compared to Sam. And I want to do everything in my power to help you be a dad one day.”

Dean scoffed, “Cas the government won’t even let me marry you, the love of my life… Why would they help us have a baby.” He said this so sadly that Cas's heart broke even more.

“The world is changing… It may be slow and take a while, but one day-I believe one day we will be legally married with our own little family running around the ranch.” Cas said this with such conviction that Dean wanted so badly to believe he was right.

“Good luck getting them to change their minds Cas. By the time that happens we will probably be 80.” Dean stated, sounding tired.

“Regardless of what happens in the world; weather it changes or not, I love you.” Cas said sincerely.

“I know. I just hope you don’t get tired of not having a family.” Dean ducked his head.

Cas reached out to gently pull Dean’s face up to look at him, he left his hand on the side of his face, his thumb rubbing calming circles against Dean’s skin. Dean leaned into it, reveling in the comfort it brought him.

“You are all the family I need.”

Dean went to interrupt him, but Cas stopped him. “Before you try to cut me off, I know what you mean. But it’s true. And I’m happy being the fun uncle. Like you, I’ve made peace with it. It also doesn’t matter if we are legally married or not. I’m just happy to spend the rest of my life with you.” Cas smiled softly at Dean as one last tear fell from his face.

 Dean took a deep breath in and out, he sniffled and wiped his eyes before saying. “I guess we better get ready to spend every penny we have spoiling our nephews.” He chuckled.

Cas laughed along with him then leaned in the place a kiss on his lips. Dean’s hands came up to grab ahold of his hips. Cas deepened the kiss when he felt Dean’s grip tighten like he was trying not to fall from a cliff and Cas was the rope. Cas was trying to convey everything he needed Dean to know in that one kiss.

Dean felt every emotion Cas wanted him to feel, he knew what Cas said wasn’t a lie and it made his mind settle.

Everything will work out.  Dean thought to himself. When they pulled back, the sadness was gone from Dean’s eyes, replaced by love and longing.

“Come on Casanova, we’ve got work to do.” Cas stepped out of Dean’s grip and headed towards the door.

Dean sighed and grunted in protest before following Cas out of the barn door. They worked the rest of the day on the bunkhouse, they were almost done; they just needed to install appliances, paint, and finish the second bathroom. They added on a second bathroom last minute and it was still just the studs, being the only room that wasn’t completely finished except for paint and furniture.

They joked around and enjoyed working together until it started to get dark. They finished the chores with the animals and left to take dinner to Sam and Eileen at the hospital. Cas was nervous to see how Dean handled going to the hospital again, but everything seemed fine. Dean reassured him he was fine by the squeeze of a hand. They held their nephew again and Cas was happy to see that the sadness seemed to have left Dean’s eyes for the time being. They both knew it would return, but for now they were both truly happy to exist as they were, the fun uncles. That was a role they could happily fulfill. Cas still fully intended to find a way to make Dean a father, but for right now he was content to see him happy once again.

That night after they got home, they showered and watched a movie. When they went to bed, Cas fell asleep almost instantly like he usually did. Dean on the other hand tossed and turned for a good two hours. He hadn’t done this since before he started spending time with Cas. He had snuck downstairs to get a drink of water and when he came back, he picked up his phone to see that he had a message from Sam. There were a couple pictures attached to the text that read:

Sam: Thanks for being the great brother that you are. I hope to be as good a father as you were to me when I saw a kid. I know that couldn’t have been easy, but I wouldn’t be the man I am now without the help of my big brother. Here are some pictures me and Eileen got, thought you would like them. You and Cas will be great fathers one day. 😉 love you brother.

The pictures attached consisted of one of Dean holding Robert for the first time, looking down at him with the sappiest smile on his face while the baby held onto his finger. Another was Cas standing behind his looking down at Robert over Dean’s shoulder. The last one was Cas sitting on the small couch in the room holding the baby while Dean was pressed up against him, an arm slung across his shoulders looking at Cas while Cas looked down at Robert and smiled. That one was Dean’s favorite. It warmed his heart as he smiled at his phone. He looked over at Cas who was still asleep next to him, and he chuckled quietly at how Cas was laying; completely sprawled out with an arm slung over his eyes and his mouth open, quietly snoring. As Dean looked at the love of his life and then back at the photos, he began to feel like he might be able to have a complete family with him, it would just take time and it would be a hard road.

Dean typed out a reply to his brother.

Dean: I appreciate that, Sammy. Watching you turn into the man you have has been great. You know I’m not good with words but I’m so proud of you. I know mom would be too. Thanks for the pictures, they are great. I’ll show Cas in the morning.

Dean set the picture of Cas holding the baby as his background on his phone then locked it and set it on the nightstand. He turned over and pulled Cas against his chest. Cas hummed in his sleep and turned into Dean’s arms. It didn’t take long for Dean to drift off to sleep after that. That night he dreamed of the man he loved playing with little blue eyed, messy dark-haired kids around the ranch.

Chapter Text

City Grown Willow

 A few days after Eileen had the baby, they were able to come home. Dean had spent all weekend making two weeks’ worth of meals for Sam and Eileen to freeze and pop in the oven for lunch and dinner. He was exhausted but happy he could help. Cas helped as much as he could in the kitchen but mostly just did the dishes for Dean. After a few days of being home, friends started to come see the new bundle of joy. Dean flew Jody in again, Benny and Andrea come over for dinner one night, Donna came for lunch and Charlie Came up, deciding to stay for a whole week to help finish the bunkhouse. It was nice to have another set of hands to help and they were able to finish it by the second week in December.

A week before Christmas, the lumber for the brood mare barn and some fencing materials got delivered before a big snowstorm hit. The first day after the initial four feet of snow fell, Dean saddled up Zeppelin and ponied Sadie into Livingston to get diapers while Cas had the tractor out plowing the driveway.  Dean was glad the snowing subsided and that for the most part, all the main roads once he left his two-mile-long driveway were plowed. Some of the roads had ice on them so the ride was still slow, not wanting to take a chance on one of his horses slipping and falling. He had made this trip many times before; riding the 15 miles into town after a snowstorm before he was able to properly plow the driveway. After several years of doing this and during the summer, riding into town just for the fun of it; Dean had a few shortcuts he had found that made the trip shorter.

Dean was quick to shop for everything Sam and Eileen asked for and grabbed a few things for him and Cas. He placed it all into the insulated pack saddle he had on Sadie and set off for the ranch. The trip there and back took several hours and by the time he got to the entrance of his driveway, Cas had just finished plowing. He followed the tractor up the driveway and dropped off their things with Cas while he rode the extra mile up to Sam and Eileen’s house. He unpacked it and was grateful for the hot cup of coffee Eileen had waiting for him. He said hello to his 3-week-old nephew and drank his coffee quickly before heading back out to take the horses down to the barn to get warm. Cas was already at the barn waiting for him.

Dean dismounted Zeppelin and handed Cas Sadie’s reins. They proceeded to untack the horses. “Nice job plowing the driveway Cas.”

Cas pulled off the pack saddle and set it on the ground before walking Sadie into her stall. “It was boring but somehow a satisfying task.”

Dean laughed as he set Zeppelin’s saddle next to the pack saddle and walked him into his own stall.

They were each doing mundane chores in the barn when Dean felt a presence, looking up from where he was sitting on the ground, coming face to face with one of his cows.

“Cas!” Dean yelled while the cow blew her hot breath in his face.

“Yeah?!” Cas called from somewhere in the feed room where he was making feed buckets for later that night.

“We’ve got a cow situation out here!” Dean exclaimed while not breaking eye contact with the heifer.

He knew she wouldn’t hurt him; she was young and just looking for food and knew who fed her. He didn’t want to startle her and make it harder than it had to be to get her back to the pasture. She was smaller so he was pretty sure it was Mabelle; one of the calves from last year. She was one of the more determined and curious cows he had, she often escaped without leaving a hint to how she got out. Dean’s lost count of how many times he’s found her on the front porch at the ass crack of dawn waiting to be fed.

“What do you mean a cow situ-.” Cas came out of the feed room and stopped short at the sight of Dean and the cow having a face off.

Dean held up a hand when Cas started to walk closer. Cas paused, waiting for instruction.

“Grab one of the ropes from the tack room.” Dean instructed as the cow quietly mooed at him and took a step forward. Cas walked into the tack room to grab the rope. Dean stood up slowly and reached out to rub her head. She leaned into him and started to rub her head on his jeans. He chuckled as Cas came back with the rope and handed it to him.

“Thanks. I hope this works, I don’t really want to pull Zeppelin out just to get her back to the pasture.” Dean sighed, slowly slipping the rope over her head. She hadn’t noticed it just yet, too distracted from nibbling on the bottom of Dean’s jeans.

“Hopefully. Damn it Mabelle, where do you keep escaping from?” Cas asked as he reached down to rub her head.

“I wish I knew.” Dean mumbled. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Cas grumbled, getting behind her and preparing to have to push her.

“Come on girl.” Dean tugged on the rope that he tied into a makeshift halter and took a step towards the door. Maybelle immediately sat back and started trying to back up, bouncing and almost knocking Cas on his ass, grunting as her very large ass came in contact rather forcibly with his stomach.

“Come on Maybelle, don’t be like that.” Dean gritted through his teeth, holding tight to the rope so she wouldn’t get away.

It was at that moment that a deep laugh could be heard from the direction of the barn doors.

“Looks like you boys could use a hand.” A deep, unfamiliar voice bellowed.

Dean and Cas both turned towards the door to see who their visitor was; the cow having stopped struggling to eat a small pile of hay next to Sadie’s stall.

The man leaning against the barn door jamb was a tall, older man; probably in his fifties but seemed to be in good shape. He had shoulder length salt and pepper hair and a greying beard. He wore work clothes; a pair of well-worn jeans, dirty boots, a button down and a large Carhart over it. He was putting a pair of work gloves into the coat pocket as he stood there.

Dean and Cas looked at each other in confusion, Cas shrugged, and they turned back to the man. Dean dropped the rope and straightened up to his full height as he walked over to the stranger.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you on my property uninvited?” Dean questioned gruffly. He was in protect his property mode. He didn’t like when people just waltzed onto his land without his consent.

“Dean.” Cas scolded lightly. He didn’t want Dean to not be defensive, but he thought he could take it down a notch. 

The stranger held up his hands in defense, “Easy there cowpoke. I came here wanting to see if you still needed a ranch hand. From the looks of what I walked into; it looks like you do.” He took the flyer out of his pocket and read from it, “Ranch hand wanted: experienced and strong person willing to work in all weather conditions and long hours. Must be capable of hard labor and have a knowledge of horses and cow’s minimum. Construction, feeding of all farm animals, mucking stalls, mending fences and anything that might need to be done. Must have a horse or be willing to ride one. Room and board available if needed. Please call Dean Winchester or Castiel Novak at the numbers below if interested. Serious inquires only.”

“Ok, it says call, not trespass on my property. So why didn’t you just call.” Dean asked still defensive.

“I don’t have a phone currently. The owner of the diner in town gave me directions here.”

“Mrs. Tran?” Cas questioned.

“Yes, that was her name. Kind woman, small in stature but kind of scary.” The stranger chuckled.

This seemed to strike a good chord with Dean as he smirked, “Yeah, she’s sweet but definitely don’t get on her bad side.” Dean stepped closer and extended his arm in an invitation to shake hands. “I’ve known the Tran family for a long time. They are good people and if they sent you my way then they must like you. I’m Dean and this is Cas.” Dean gestured to Cas after they shook hands. Cas reached out and shook the man’s hand as well.

“Timothy Cain. Everyone just calls me Cain. I think I could be a good fit for your ranch.” The stranger introduced himself.

Maybelle chose that moment to come investigate the new person in the barn by sniffing his boots.  “Help us get this cow in her pasture then you can tell us a little about yourself and your experience.” Cas suggested.

“We can go up to the house and warm up and have a drink afterwards.” Dean commented.

“Sounds good.” Cain agreed.

-------------------------------------------

After they got Maybelle back to the pasture, (easier said than done, even with three people.) They were sitting around the fire pit on the front porch drinking whiskey.

“So, tell us a little about yourself. What brought you here?” Dean questioned as he leaned back into the bench seat.

“I grew up in Missouri on my family’s ranch. My father was a rancher as was my grandfather before him. When I was 18 my father passed and the ranch was in debt, we had to sell everything. I moved on to work at other ranches before I found one that I stayed at for 20 years. That was the ranch I met my wife at. It was her father’s ranch, and I came to work as a ranch hand. I rode every day and took care of the horses as well as helped with the cows and general upkeep with the ranch. anything you can throw at me I can guarantee I’ve done before.” Cain said with confidence.

“Sounds like you are qualified, of course we will do a two-week trial run to make sure it’s a good fit. Are you looking for short term or long-term work?” Dean asked, taking a sip of his whiskey.  

“Long term. I came up north about two years ago and fell in love with the mountains. I’m looking for something permanent that I can retire from in twenty years or so.”

“You mentioned you had a wife. Do you have a place of residence, or will you need board?” Cas asked leaning forward, his professional side coming out.

Cain looked down at his glass and swirled the amber liquid around before taking the rest like a shot then leveling his gaze with Dean and Cas who sat opposite him. “That’s a long and tragic story…  15 years ago, my wife was taken from me. She was- in the wrong place at the wrong time and…” He trailed off, taking a breath before continuing. “The men that killed her are thankfully behind bars. But her father didn’t care for me and blamed me for her death. I left after that. The last 15 years I’ve been drifting from small town to small town, taking odd job after odd job. I came to Montana to find some peace in these mountains and a place to settle down. If it all works out, I’m willing to stay on for as long as you have the ranch and I’m physically able to work.”

“My sympathies for your late wife. I can’t imagine losing the one I love.” Dean chanced a glance at Cas. Cas smiled gently, wishing at that moment that he could reach out and squeeze Dean’s hand reassuringly, but he needed to keep the mood professional.

“Thank you. To answer your other question, yes, I will need board if you have it.” Cain said.

“That’s no problem. You will be the first to stay in the newly constructed bunkhouse. It has three bedrooms each with their own bathroom and walk-in closet, a communal living room and kitchen as well. If this works out as well as we hope, and you do end up staying with us for the long haul we can talk about maybe adding an upstairs that would be completely private and yours if you wanted.” Dean suggested.

“That is very generous, thank you. I’m sure the bunkhouse will be sufficient for now. I’m a simple man with not many possessions.” Cain said.

“Well then, let me go draw up the paperwork and Dean will show you to the bunkhouse. I will also have a couple keys for you as well. Any errands you do for the ranch can be done in one of the ranch trucks. The keys will be hanging in the bunkhouse, and we have another set in the main house.” Cas said as he stood to go inside the house.

 Dean and Cain stood as well, Dean motioned for Cain to follow him, “Come on. I’ll give you a tour of the place. You can have the rest of the day to get settled and tomorrow starts bright and early.”

They walked down the steps as Cain nodded his acknowledgement as Dean continued, “Cas and I own the ranch as well as my brother who handles more of the techy side of things. Cas does orders and managing and anything else that needs to be done including chores. This isn’t like a normal job; we are both your bosses, but we also will be working alongside you doing the same amount of work if not more. You will be treated as an equal and your opinion matters and will be taken into consideration if you have any suggestions or concerns regarding the ranch. We want you to feel comfortable here so let us know if there is anything we can do.”

“That’s much appreciated. I think I’m going to enjoy my time here. ya’ll seem like good people. I have a good understanding of horses so if you ever need some help when the breeding and train side get up and running, don’t hesitate to ask. They have always been my favorite part of the ranch life.” Cain commented as they walked back into the barn.

“I’ll keep that in mind when the time comes. You can ride Sam’s horse for now until you can get one. We will pay for it of course but it will be yours. Find one you like, and we can go look at it.”

Cain nodded, “sounds good.”

Then Dean started the tour of the barn, feed room and tack room. He showed him the hay barn where extra hay was stored, the chicken coop and smaller pastures for the cows and horses before heading over to the bunkhouse and giving him a tour of that. Dean told him where he could park his truck and said that in his free time, he was more than welcome to use the garden area next to the bunkhouse Cas had insisted on putting there. Once the tour was over, they headed back to the house to fill out the paperwork. Dean had a good feeling about this and was relieved to finally have an extra set of hands around the ranch.

                                                   -----------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                      POV: DEAN

December 24^th, 2010

9am.

Dean had just finished helping Cain feed all the animals while Cas was calling in the feed order at the feed store for Cain to pick up that afternoon. Dean could hear Cas talking to the feed store from the entryway and he quietly ran up the stairs and into their room. Tonight was the night, he was going to propose to Cas. He had everything set up. It all fell into place when Sam and Eileen said they wanted to spend Christmas eve just them and then do Christmas with the family on Christmas day. Dean didn’t want to give anything away about his surprise tonight, so he was keeping dinner simple yet special. He went into the closet and pulled down the box where he had the ring. He opened it up and sifted through the photos of his mom, he picked one of them up and looked at it.

“Tonight’s the night mom. God, I wish you were here for this. You would love him.” He put the photo back and took the velvet box out, closing the big box and putting it back on the shelf. He opened the ring box and looked at it with a smile. He took a deep breath and put it in his pocket. “It’s game time.”

                                                       ---------------------------------------------------

POV: CAS

December 24^th, 2010

7:28pm.

Cas was pulling into the driveway to the ranch, he was coming back from picking up some beer from the roadhouse that Ellen was giving them. (An excuse Dean came up with for Cas to leave the house for an hour). He thought it a bit odd that Dean didn’t want to spend Christmas eve with Bobby and Ellen even though his brother and Eileen would be spending it with their new little family. Dean had told him he wanted a night alone with him and with everything that has been going on lately, that was just fine with Cas.

Tonight was also their first anniversary but they agreed they didn’t want to do anything over the top. With that said, Cas didn’t suspect a thing. He just knew they were going to have a quiet dinner to celebrate. He pulled up to the house, parked the old pickup truck and walked towards the house. He and Dean were both sad that they had been so busy with everything going on that they didn't have time to put up Christmas lights on the house this year. At least they took the time to get a tree. Nothing seemed off until he got to the front door and paused. He could hear soft Christmas music coming from inside; something Dean never listened to of his own accord.

                                                 --------------------------------------------------------------

 POV: SWITCH

Dean was lighting the candle in the middle of the table when he heard the front door creak open.

“Hey Cas! Dinners ready.” Dean yelled.

He had set the table and lowered the lights; it wasn’t over the top where it would make Cas suspicious though. Thankfully, Dean does this about once a month as a ‘stay home date’ and they both enjoy it. They are usually so tired that the thought of having to go out to dinner and interact with strangers is not high on their list of a good time. Cain had offered to do evening check for the animals tonight so they wouldn’t have to interrupt their Christmas Eve to do it. (They hadn’t yet told Cain that they were a couple, but they figured that he had probably put two and two together and figured it out for himself.)

 Cas came into the dining room as he took in the wonderful smells that engulfed the house. On the table set for two, sat two plates full of steak, scalloped potatoes, corn on the cob and a small salad that they both know Dean wouldn’t touch (Cas said they should eat healthier). The candle in the middle and the fact that they were eating at the large dinner table instead of the bar in the kitchen were the only things that could’ve possibly given away anything. But Dean figured he could get away with it considering it was Christmas eve and their anniversary.

“Smells delicious.” Cas complimented, walking over to Dean and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Happy anniversary Sweetheart.” Dean said with a bright smile. He pulled the chair in front of him out for Cas and Cas took his seat.

“Happy anniversary. You look very nice. Should I go change?” Cas asked.

Cas was by no means underdressed; he had on an AC/DC t-shirt with a black denim jacket over it and his favorite pair of jeans. Dean had on a plain grey t-shirt and a light wash denim button down opened over it with a pair of black jeans.

Dean just chuckled as he set a beer in front of Cas and took his seat.

“No, you look great.” He winked and took a long pull from his beer. Cas smiled at him as they both started to dig into their dinner.

                                                ------------------------------------------------------------

This dinner date was one of their best yet. They laughed and talked and just enjoyed each other’s company. They didn’t feel rushed to finish their meal so they could get to bed for a busy day the next morning like they had been the last few months, they had forgotten what it was like to just exist in the others presence. It wasn’t that they didn’t love working together, because they did. Nights like this were few and far between and they hadn’t been able to relax like this in a long time, it felt wonderful. Dean knew his moment was coming, yet he didn’t find himself to be nervous; he was excited.

they had moved into the living room where the 14ft Christmas tree they bought two weeks ago was glowing in the corner. The two gifts that they bought each other were now sitting on the coffee table instead of under the tree with the other gifts. There was a fire crackling in the background and the new playlist Dean had created was playing quietly in the background. The lights were low, the room being mostly lit by the huge tree and fireplace. They were cuddled up on the sofa, each having a glass of whiskey in hand; it was very romantic. Miracle was sitting in Dean’s old chair chewing on the toy they gave him for Christmas.

“Ready to open the presents we weren’t supposed to open tonight?” Cas teased, lifting his head from where it had been resting on Dean’s shoulder.

“Hey, these are just gag gifts, not the real deal so it doesn’t count.” Dean defended.

Cas smirked and chuckled, “I guess that’s true.” He sat up and reached for the gifts, handing the one he bought for Dean to him, then grabbing the one Dean bought for him. The boxes were identical in size and shape but were wrapped in different colored paper.  

They both tore into the paper at the same time and popped the tape off the top of the boxes. When they pulled out the contents of the box, they both had a look of confusion on their faces before they looked at what the other was holding and burst out laughing.

“Guess we both had the same idea.” Dean said as he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes.

They were both holding the same white coffee cup, it had an outline of Dwight Schrute from the Office on it, and it said ‘FACT: You are the Best Uncle’.

“You know you spend a lot of time with someone when you purchase the same gift for each other.” Cas said between gasps of laughter.

“I think it fits.”

“I’m going to print our names on them.” Cas said, taking the mug from Dean and setting both on the coffee table.

Dean chuckled, “Sounds good babe.”

They sat back into the couch, Cas leaning into Dean’s side, Dean’s arm slung around his shoulder; they drank their whiskey in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Dean’s mind was running ninety miles an hour, the ring box felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket and the excitement of the remaining present for Cas that was under the tree was at the forefront of his thoughts. It was all shifting through his mind when Cas spoke up.

“Dean you’re thinking too loudly.” Cas raised his head off Dean’s shoulder as Dean took a deep breath and gave him a crooked smile.

“Sorry, got lost in my head.” Dean apologized, then downing the last of his whiskey. Now’s as good a time as any. He thought. Butterflies of excitement and slight nervousness fluttered in his stomach for the first time that day.

“Is everything ok?” Cas asked with genuine concern.

Dean shifted up and turned towards Cas. “Yeah, everything is fine…” he trailed off. He rubbed his hand along his pocket, over the box and then leveled his gaze with Cas.

“Dean, what’s going on?” Cas looked skeptical and guarded. Dean knew he needed to right whatever wayward thoughts were running through Cas’s mind.

“Nothing bad Cas I promise. I just have something I need to tell you.” Dean smiled gently.

Cas seemed to relax a little but still had his guard up. Dean knew why and couldn’t wait to change the fear into joy.

“Ok, I’m listening.” Cas said, trying to regulate his breathing once more.

Dean swallowed hard then took one of Cas’s hands in his. “I’ve waited too long to tell you everything you mean to me Cas.”

That changed Castiel’s expression immediately. He didn’t know what he had expected to hear but it wasn’t that. He had no idea where this was going though. So, he listened. He nodded his head in acknowledgment.

“You- you are everything to me. To have you back in my life has been awesome and an honor.” Dean smiled fondly. “I’ve enjoyed having you work the ranch with me, I’ve loved waking up to you every morning, I love all the ways you have changed me for the better. I love that you are best friends with my best friend, I love that you get along so well with my family, I love your love for bee’s and fresh foods, I love your love for all of our animals...” At that moment Dean dropped down to the ground onto one knee.

Cas’s eye’s widened, is he doing what I think he’s doing? Cas thought.  

“I know I’m not good with talking about my feelings, I’m not the greatest with words but I’m trying.” Dean reached into his pocket and produced the small velvet box. He held it in front of him where Cas could see it. Cas’s mouth fell open and his eyes started to water, finding himself unable to speak.

“Castiel James Novak, will you do me the honor of doing all those things with me, every day, for the rest of our lives? Because I need you, and I love you. let’s face it, we’re just better together. Will you marry me?” Dean opened the box to reveal the Tungsten ring.

Cas choked back a sob and nodded vigorously before finally saying “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” and launched himself into Dean’s arms, wrapping his arms around his neck. Dean let out a relieved breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. When they broke apart Dean was grinning from ear to ear as he pulled the ring out of the box and placed it on Cas’s finger.

“Dean it’s amazing. I love it.” Cas said in awe as he admired the beautiful ring.

“I’m glad.” Dean said beaming. Cas placed a hand on either side of Dean’s face and pulled him in for a long passionate kiss, trying to convey every emotion and the amount of love he felt for him in the kiss.

It didn’t take long for that kiss to turn more heated, Dean lightly bit Cas’s bottom lip, asking for entrance to which Cas obeyed. Between teeth, tongue, and roaming hands it didn’t take long for Dean to have Cas flat on his back on the couch. They clumsily pulled off their layers until they were both shirtless; only willing to leave the others mouth for a second to rid the other of an article of clothing. They rutted their clothed cocks against one another, searching for the friction they both desperately needed.

Dean trailed hot, wet kisses down Cas’s neck and chest before he sat up and popped Cas’s belt as quickly as he could. Once Dean had his pants undone, he reached in and freed Cas’s aching cock. Cas groaned in pleasure the minute Dean touched him. Dean leaned down and took him in his mouth while he slid his pants down and off, throwing them and his boxers somewhere behind the couch. Cas gasped when Dean moved his mouth up and down his hard length slowly, taking him deep.

“Oh fuck.” Cas moaned as he reached down to grab at Dean’s hair. Dean’s hair and beard were slightly longer than normal, and Cas was loving it.

Dean hummed his delight and looked up at Cas through his lashes. He circled his tongue around the underside of his cockhead and took him deep one more time before he pulled off and removed his own pants and boxers. Once Dean threw them behind the couch to join Cas’s, he fell on top of him, catching himself with his hands on either side of Cas’s head. He leaned down and kissed Cas deeply, trying to convey everything he was feeling and anything he missed in his speech to him within that one kiss. Cas’s hand came up to cup the back of his head, tugging on his hair and pulling him closer. Dean starts to roll his hips, rubbing his cock against Cas’s.

“Mmm, Cas.” Dean said quietly, looking into Cas’s eyes as he reached between their bodies and grasped both their cocks in his hand, stroking slowly. Cas groaned and bucked his hips up.

“Mmm, faster, more Dean.” Cas moaned out. Normally Dean would take his time and tease Cas when he gets a little bossy, but he was in no mood for that. He moved his hand faster, gripping both their cocks a little tighter while he also rolled his hips.

“Fuck babe.” Dean whispered, mouth agape.

One of Cas’s hands came up to grab Dean’s bicep, the other reached down his own chest and pinched a nipple, gently twisting it and letting out a pleasureful whimper. That seemed to push Dean over the edge, he kept the fast pace with his hand as he came with a guttural groan, thick ropes of hot cum splattering onto Cas’s stomach.

Cas followed behind him, loving the sight of Dean cumming on top of him, his mouth hanging open and his face glowing from the firelight.

“Oh fuck!” Cas closed his eyes and gasped as his hot cum joined Dean’s on his stomach. They stared into each other’s eyes, only inches apart, breathing the same air as they caught their breath. Dean leaned down and captured Cas’s lips in a sweet, passionate kiss. Cas’s hand came to rest on Dean’s neck and his other ran lovingly along his back.

When they broke apart Dean said, “M’gonna go grab a washcloth.”

Cas just nodded, still coming down from his high. Dean got up and went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under some warm water.

Cas was examining the ring on his finger, falling more in love with it and the man it tied him to the longer he stared at it. Dean walked up to him with the washcloth and cleaned his stomach before tossing it in the general direction of the kitchen. He reached a hand out towards Cas. Cas took it and Dean pulled him up, grabbing the blanket that stayed on the couch and a couple couch pillows. He threw them onto the floor a couple of feet away from the fireplace. They laid down on the rug and covered with the oversized blanket. They cuddled in the quiet crackle of the fire next to them, the soft sounds of Miracle snoring from the chair relaxing them further.

Cas had his eyes closed and his head resting on Dean’s chest when Dean spoke up. “I know we can’t legally get married yet… But – maybe your right. Maybe, the world will change one day.” Dean said quietly into Castiel’s hair.

Cas lifted his head to look at Dean, and Dean looked down with a small smile.

“I think it will. Until then I’m happy to call you, my fiancé.” Cas grinned. That made Dean’s heart pick up speed. He had a fiancé. He couldn’t believe it. He held Cas a little tighter that night as they dozed by the dying fire, content in their life and each other, both feeling on top of the world.

                                                        ------------------------------------------------

Christmas Day 2010

Dean’s alarm on his phone was blaring from the coffee table, he groaned under the weight of Cas asleep on top of him. He shoved at Cas’s shoulder gently.

“Cas, wake up. Ya killin me.” He said groggily while rubbing a hand down his face. Cas grumbled something incoherently and rolled off Dean and onto the floor with an audible thud. Dean chuckled and tried to sit up. His body stopped him halfway there.

 “Oh shit.” Dean groaned as he tried to stretch his tense muscles in his back. Cas reached up lazily to try and help rub Dean’s back, but it wasn’t helping any considering it felt more like he was petting Dean’s back.

Dean laughed and said, “Nice try sleeping beauty. Get up.” He smacked Cas’s blanket clad ass. Cas yelped and lifted his head to crack an eye open at his new fiancé.

“That was rude. Also, I think my back is broke.” He dropped his face into the pillow.

“Yeah, we are never sleeping on the floor again.”

“Agreed.” Cas mumbled from the pillow.

Dean chuckled and stood up, knees, hips and back cracking all the way until he was upright. Dean leans over and turns his alarm off, it was 6am. normally, he would go tend to the animals around 5am on a holiday so he would be free most of the day, but Cain offered to tend to them this morning since he didn’t have any family in the area. Upon learning that, Dean offered for Cain to join them for Christmas dinner. They would be short one person this year since Charlie was spending Christmas meeting her girlfriend’s family.

Cas finally stood and stretched then they both picked up their clothing from the night before and headed upstairs. Dean found a pair of sweats and threw them on before brushing his teeth.

“I’m gonna go start some breakfast.” He said as Cas turned the shower on.

“Ok. I’m going to shower.” they kissed quickly before Dean headed out the door and towards the stairs.

15 minutes later Dean was flipping bacon and mixing batter for pancakes while listening to some Led Zeppelin when Cas came down the stairs with a towel wrapped low around his waist, hair dripping water down his face. Dean did a double take and had to make a conscious effort to not drool all over his countertops. “Damn I got a fine ass fiancé.”

Cas was rooting around the fridge and came up with a pitcher of fresh orange juice in hand. “Yes, my ass is very nice isn’t it.” Cas said smugly then took a sip from the pitcher.

Dean let out a laugh then stepped over to pull Cas close to him. he took the pitcher and set it on the counter by the sink before kissing Cas fiercely. He turned Cas towards the island and then in one swift motion, lifted him onto the counter, the towel popping open and pooling on either side of his hips.

“Mmm, someone’s frisky.” Cas hummed in delight.

“What do you expect when you walk in here with a towel falling off those mouthwatering hips.” Dean said as he lavished Cas’s neck with hot kisses.

They were so busy making out and with the music playing in the background they failed to hear the knock on the front door. What’s even worse is they failed to hear the door creak open, and Cain come in. It was only until they heard him clear his throat and speak up, “I hate to interrupt but I could use some help.”

They both froze, Dean leaned around Cas and flipped the towel up to cover his ass. Cas’s head dropped to Dean’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“Apparently this is becoming a Christmas tradition.” Dean joked as Cas hopped off the counter and took the towel that Dean was shielding him with, they both turned red faced towards their employee. Cain was smirking and trying hard to hide a laugh. “I knocked but no one answered, and I heard music, so I came in.” Cain explained.

“It’s no problem. We apologize. What did you need help with?” Cas said all business now.

“No need to apologize, this is your home after all. So, you two are a thing?” Cain asked, no malice to his voice, just curiosity.

Cas opened his mouth to respond but Dean beat him to it, tensing next to him and saying harshly, “Yes, we are engaged. Got a problem with that?” It wasn’t a question; it was a challenge. A challenge of ‘say something off color and I’ll put you on your ass’.

Cain chuckled, “No not at all. I’ve had many friends that were gay or bi. Doesn’t bother me. I figured as much; I just wasn’t completely positive.”

“Ok good. What was the problem?” Dean relaxed, sounding more like his usual self.

“A fence post fell during the wind last night. I fixed it but I need some help wrangling the couple cows that got out.”

“Fuck.” Dean cursed. “Let me change and I’ll come help you.” Dean headed off towards the stairs.

“I’ll finish breakfast.” Cas called after him. Dean yelled his acknowledgment.

“Would you like some coffee?” Cas offered Cain.

“Won’t ever turn down coffee.” Cain said walking towards the island.

They chatted while they waited for Dean, Cas flipping the bacon and put some hashbrowns going. Once Dean and Cain were outside, Cas ran upstairs to put some clothes on.

                                                      ----------------------------------------------------------

That afternoon while Dean and Cas were finishing wrapping a few gifts for Robert, Cas’s phone rings.

“Who is it?” Dean asked curiously as he placed the last piece of tape on the present he was wrapping.

“It’s Michael.” Cas swiped his thumb across the screen and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” He didn’t mean for it to come out sounding like a question, but he still wasn’t used to having his older brother or his father calling him.

“Hey Castiel! Merry Christmas to you and Dean.” Michael said, voice cheerful on the other side of the line.

“Merry Christmas to you, Anna and William. Did you need something?” Cas asked, taking a seat at the kitchen island and setting the phone on the counter, putting it on speaker so Dean could hear as well.

“I did actually. I wanted to tell you that the lawsuit with mother came to a close finally. She is getting enough money to live out the rest of her life, but the company will stay the way dad intended it to be.” Michael sounded relieved. Castiel knew Michael had been fighting a hard battle to keep the company from falling to his mother completely.

“That’s great. But you need to know that I’m not coming back to New York. My life is here with Dean and I –.” He was cut off by Michael interrupting.

“Castiel, Cas!” There was laughter to Michael’s voice as he tried to calm his brother. “I don’t expect you to come back. you have a family in Montana and I’m happy for you. I just called to tell you that it was over. Dad is retired but is going to be on the advisory board. Gabriel is doing managing and the business side of things while I’m the head lawyer. And you have a place with us as well.”

Cas looked at Dean somewhat confused. Dean just shrugged. “How do I have a place when I’m not there?”

“I sent you a detailed email containing everything you need to know. There is a document attached to it that you need to sign. The company will be split equally between the three of us, I just need you to sign it. Oh, and check your bank account, but you might want to be sitting down when you do that.” Michael chuckled.

“Can’t you just tell me what it says?” Cas asked.

“Nope. Have a good Christmas! Say hi to everyone.” Michael said.

“We will. Thanks Michael.” Then both Dean and Cas said their goodbyes and he hung up.

Cas let out a long breath and stood up. “I guess I should go check my email and my bank account.”

“I think so. Bring out my laptop when you come back. I need a recipe.” Dean asked as he walked over to the tree to put the presents they wrapped under it.

“Got it.” Cas called as he walked into their shared office. He sat in his chair and opened his laptop. He opened his email to find the one from Michael.

It read as follows:

Dear Castiel.

I am writing this letter to tell you that the law firm is now split between the three of us (You, me, and Gabriel). Mother will have no say in the company whatsoever. Her name is nowhere in the company anymore and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Dad will be on the board of directors and will be present in the twice-yearly board meetings. As I have already told you over the phone what me and Gabriel will be doing, I hope you will agree to be a part of this company as a silent partner. I respect the life you live and the family you have with Dean in Montana, and I couldn’t be happier for you. I only ask that you attend the two board meetings a year. This will allow you to make a substantial amount of money without much effort on your part. If for any reason you want to do more for the firm, you will be allowed to do so. Any major decisions in the firm will be decided solely by you, me, and Gabriel as the owners. I hope you accept this amazing opportunity. You deserve it after everything this family has put you through your whole life.
                                                                                                                                your brother, Michael.

P.S.

Please sign the attached document and take a look at your bank account. Don’t spend the settlement money all in one place!

Cas laughed under his breath at the playful side he never knew his eldest brother had. He opened the document, read over it, and signed it, sending it back to his brother. He knew that when he opened his bank account, he was going to be a richer man, but he honestly was unprepared for how rich a man. He about fell out of his chair when he saw that his account was several hundred thousand dollars richer. Once he picked his jaw up off the floor, he closed his laptop and picked up Dean’s from his desk. He felt a little weak in the knees as he walked into the kitchen. Apparently, his shock was evident on his face, because when Dean looked up with a smile it quickly fell away, replaced by a look of pure concern.

“Cas are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Dean took the computer from his hands and set it on the counter then guided Cas into a bar stool.

“Yeah. My bank account. I never imagined…” He trailed off. Dean opened his laptop and went to the bank website and logged into Cas’s account.

“Son of a bitch.” He mumbled under his breath as he saw the ungodly balance. “Is – Is this for real? Why is there so much money in your account?”

Cas looked at the computer screen, not sure he believed the number he saw but it never changed.

$1,157,273.

He was one million dollars richer.

Cas shook his head, trying to clear it. “It’s the settlement money. Money that my mother had been keeping from me since I turned eighteen. Also, probably some money from becoming an official partner in the firm.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “A partner? How does that work if you’re here?” Cas could hear the disappointment in his voice, and he needed to make sure Dean knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Before you get carried away, I’m only a silent partner. The firm is split equally between me, Michael, and Gabriel. I am mainly a silent partner and only have to attend board meetings twice a year. I can easily do that while enjoying the life you and I have built here.” Cas stood up and stepped in front of Dean.

Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He won’t admit it but yes, he did panic and think Cas was going to leave him, but he was wrong. He knew he was wrong, Cas loved him, and nothing would change that.

Cas placed a gentle hand on the side of Dean’s face. “I’m not going anywhere. At least not without you. my home is here on this ranch.”

“I know, my mind just got away from me for a second.” Dean smiled then placed a kiss on Cas’s lips. “Alright enough of the chick flick moment. You had something you wanted to show me?”

Cas grinned widely and said, “I do. We have to go to the Salvage Yard though.”

“What? Why?” Dean was confused again.

“You’ll see” Cas said with a wicked grin. Dean shook his head and chucked, then followed Cas towards the front door.

                                                                ----------------------------------------

Dean pulled Baby into a spot near the garage at the Savage Yard. They got out and waved to Bobby who was sitting on his front porch working on God knows what.

“Ok Cas what could possibly be here that you want to show me?” Dean asked as he followed him.

Cas said nothing as he led him into a far corner of the yard where an oversized carport sat. Under it were two cars, the shell of a 1977 Pontiac Trans AM that Dean bought for a couple hundred dollars last month after he spontaneously rewatched Smokey and the Bandit for the millionth time. Next to it was the truck Cas bought under a cover.

“Cas there is nothing here that I haven’t seen before.” Dean protested.

Cas smiled smugly. “Have you seen what’s under that cover?” Cas asked knowing full well he hadn’t.

Dean stumbled with his words, “I – Well no but Bobby said it was just a piece of junk that someone sold him for parts.”

Cas chuckled and held up a finger, “That’s not entirely true.”

Dean just looked at him, completely lost as to what was going on.

Cas tried to hide his smile, “Pull the cover off.” He instructed.

Dean gave him a skeptical look then walked over and yanked the cover off. His eyes widened when he saw the truck underneath.

“Is this…” Dean trailed off.

Cas nodded, a bright and playful smile playing across his face. “Yes. That’s the truck I pointed out to you a couple weeks ago when we bought the work trucks. It’s a 1952 chevy. I thought we could restore it together. It has a sad story but when you look in the cab, it’s like your pulled into another era. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Dean was looking the truck over while Cas talked, running a hand along its fender, and peering inside. “Holy shit.” He started. “You want to restore it? With me?” He asked in slight disbelief.

“Yes. This is your Christmas present. A way for us to spend time doing something you love to do while I learn something I’ve always wanted to learn. How to work on cars.”

A beaming and affectionate smile spread across Dean’s face as he stepped towards Cas and wrapped him in a tight hug. “This is perfect.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Cas said sincerely.

“I love it. We can come out after the new year and make a list of things we will need.”

“Sounds great. Now we better get back so we can start cooking.” Cas suggested.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They walked back to the Impala hand in hand and Cas told Dean the story of the truck on their way back to the ranch. It broke Dean’s heart, but he was so happy to have the opportunity to restore it to its former glory.

                                                       -------------------------------------------------

Dean made his usual blueberry, apple, and pecan pies along with a beef roast for dinner with the family. They wanted it to be an easy affair, something they could enjoy while focusing on spending time with one another. Ellen, Bobby and Jo brought rolls and cheesy bacon roasted potatoes while Sam and Eileen brought broccoli and cheese casserole, and since Cain had accepted the invite, he brought some homemade dressing. They were currently all stuffed to the brim from dinner and dessert, and now they were sitting at the dining table playing Blackjack and drinking whiskey. Dean had been holding little Robert who they had started calling Robbie, for the last two hours and Cas had finally convinced him to give him a turn.

It was still hard for Dean to see Cas hold their nephew, he always ended up picturing him holding their own kids. Only now Dean was hopeful; so instead of it hurting, he replaced that feeling with hope. Dean beat Sam again, winning another hundred dollars from his brother.

“Don’t fuck with the master Sammy!” Dean had cheered. Sam just rolled his eyes and threw his brother another one-hundred-dollar bill from his wallet.

“Why don’t we open presents now.” Ellen announced.

They all gathered in the living room while Dean and Cas grabbed the presents from under the tree and passed them out. Cain had stayed for the few games they played but excused himself before they went to start the gift swapping. They were mainly joke gifts with all real gifts being the ones that were bought for little Robbie. Dean and Cas bought him a bunch of toys for when he was crawling.

When Sam opened the gift from Dean, he burst out laughing and asked, “Why did you get me twister?”

Everyone started laughing and Dean answered, “You are like a lanky moose puppy that doesn’t know how long his limbs are and I thought it would be hilarious.” Dean shrugged.

“Moose puppy?” Sam questioned, then shook his head and said, “We are so playing this later.”

They finished opening presents with Ellen and Bobby giving Dean a new bottle of his favorite whiskey and Cas getting a pair of fancy boots since he only had the one pair he wore every day to work in. Finally, there was only one present left; it was a manila envelope with the words TO: Cas, From: Dean written in Dean’s handwriting on the front. While Dean was explaining what Cas had gotten him for Christmas, Eileen who was sitting next to Cas feeding Robbie, leaned over, and got Castiel’s attention then signed, “I saw the ring on your finger. Are ya’ll engaged?”

Cas couldn’t help but smile brightly and sign back, “Yes, Dean proposed last night. I don’t know when he wants to announce it though.”

As if on cue Dean stands and says, “Cas and I have an announcement to make.”

Apparently now. Cas thought, chuckling to himself.

Cas hadn’t realized that while he conversed with Eileen, Dean had refilled everyone’s whiskey and they were all waiting to hear what Dean had to say.

Cas stood and laced his fingers with Dean’s. Dean smiled at him then looked at their family. “Last night was one of the best nights of my life.”

“Oh god what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.” Sam said jokingly scrunching up his nose.

Dean laughed then pointed to the couch where Sam was sitting and says with a smirk, “What happens on the couch stays on the couch Sammy.”  

Sam made a disgusted face, and everyone erupted with laughter.

“For real though, last night was awesome. We had a great dinner and I asked Cas something I’ve wanted to ask him for a long time.” Dean looked to Cas and lifted their intertwined hands to show the ring on Cas’s finger. “I asked this devastatingly handsome man to marry me!” he announced loudly with a huge smile.

The room erupted in applause and cheers, everyone standing to congratulate them. once they all got their congratulations out Dean held up his glass, everyone following suit. “Thank you everyone, it means a lot. I would like to propose a toast. To Cas! Thanks for putting up with my ass. I don’t know why you want to marry me.”

Cas smirked and added, “It’s because of your ass that I put up with you.” There was a groan from Sam and whoops from Eileen and Jo. Dean just chuckled knowing it was true.

“To Cas and Dean!” everyone said before they all threw back their shots.

“Now for the last present.” Dean said, grabbing the manila folder off the coffee table. “Merry Christmas sweetheart.” Dean winked at him as he handed him the folder.

Cas took it with a smile and opened it, pulling out the papers, he began to read. His smile slowly turned into a look of shock as he read.

“Dean… I – What... Is this?” Cas looked at Dean as he stumbled though his words.

Dean nodded, “You’re reading them right. Those are ownership papers.” Dean produced a pen out of his hip pocket and held it out to Cas. “Once you sign those papers you become the legal co-owner of Winchester Ranch and Cattle Co. You and me Cas, 50/50.”

Cas looked down at the paper and without hesitation, signed on the dotted line with shaking hands. “What about Sam?” He asked, looking over at the younger Winchester.

Sam shrugged and with an approving smile said, “I’ll do what I’ve always done. Marketing, the website, and social media and helping out when you need it.”

Dean nodded along with Sam and then smiled fondly at Cas and took the papers he had signed. Cas launched himself into Dean’s arms, “Thank you Dean. This means so much to me.”

When they broke apart Bobby spoke up, “Glad you two finally got your heads out of your asses. Idjits.” He said gruffly with a grin.

Once the so-called chick flick moment was over, they went back to playing some games until about 11pm. When everyone had left, Dean put on a song that Cas loved but didn’t realize Dean knew. Dean walked over to him in the middle of the living room, the soft glow from the Christmas tree and the fire in the fireplace creating the perfect setting. He grabbed ahold of Cas and brought him into his chest, and they started to slow dance as the first words of Oasis’s Wonderwall came though the speakers.

After a second, Dean started to softly sing along to the song in Cas’s ear. “I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.”

Cas dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder, enjoying the feeling of the rumble of his deep voice as he continued to sing.

“Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you’re my wonderwall.”

they stayed like that for a while, Dean singing the next few slow ballads to Cas. This was one of the many things Cas loved about his man from the mountains; he might never willingly admit to doing this, but he still did it and Cas loved it.

                                              --------------------------------------------------------

The next week went by like any other week. It consisted of one cow in particular escaping several times with no evidence of where she got out.  Materials were delivered and plans drawn up for the garage Dean had always wanted to add to the house. It would be detached and off to the left side of the house in the large space of empty land between the house and the dirt driveway that continued up to Sam and Eileen’s house. It would be a space to park the Impala and for them to work on the Chevy Cas gave Dean for Christmas. The day before New Year’s Eve they moved the old truck to the ranch and parked it next to the barn. They were busy and needless to say, they were ready for New Years and the party it surely would bring.  

                                                             -------------------------------------------------

Friday, December 31^st, 2010

New Year’s Eve

Dean and Cas were sitting at the bar have a conversation with Ellen when small hands covered Dean’s eyes and a familiar, cheery voice yelled, “Guess who!”

Dean, knowing exactly who it was but being the jokester that he was, asked, “Sam? Benny? Cas?”

“I’m sitting right next to you.” Cas interjected with a snort of laughter.

“No dumbass, it’s me.” Charlie quipped, removing her hands from his face.

“Hey, it’s the sister I never wanted!” Dean said sarcastically before standing and picking her up into a tight hug.

When he set her down, she turned to Cas. “Hey Cas! Congratulations!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he hugged her tightly.

It was good to see Charlie, they missed her over Christmas. They had called her on Christmas day to tell her that they were engaged indefinitely, and she was extremely excited for them. She pulled away and said excitedly, “Let me see the ring!” as she bounced on her feet.

Cas held out his hand and she examined the ring. “Cas, I love it. So detailed and it definitely reminds me of someone’s eyes.” She winked at him.

“That’s my favorite part of it.” Cas mumbled shyly.

Dean set his hand on Cas’s shoulder, “Sam got the karaoke machine going. Ya’ll ready to get your asses kicked!”

He handed Charlie a beer as they stood and walked over to the corner of the Roadhouse where the karaoke machine was set up. Cas had to down a few shots before he had the courage to get up there and sing by himself.

The night proceeded how everyone expected it to. The alcohol was flowing, and the karaoke was blaring, everyone had a great time. Even Cain came out to join in the festivities. Cas and Charlie sang Bohemian Rhapsody and had everyone singing along (including Cain and Bobby). Sam and Eileen sang Rocketman, Benny and Dean sang a drunken but somehow still amazing version of Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire, not once did they miss a lyric. Cas got up there by himself after his 5^th shot of whiskey and sang a slightly off-key version of Stayin’ Alive at Dean’s request.

Cas picked the song that Dean and Sam sang, Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll with Dean doing his best impression of Tom Cruise from Risky Business, which got a long round of applause. Eventually Dean and Cas got to sing together with Charlie picking their song. She picked Queen’s Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy. They did not disappoint during their performance of the song; with Cas being drunk and his nerves gone, he let a slightly less drunk Dean dance and spin him around the “stage” as they sang the song. There were more renditions of other songs by the rest of the family including a performance by Jo and Charlie; some were showstoppers, others were slightly embarrassing, but it was all in good fun. The final performance before midnight was Dean and Charlie singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Two minutes to midnight, everyone had a drink in hand and were crowding around the end of the bar watching the tv that was showing the ball drop in New York.

“5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” everyone chorused and then all kissed their significant others.

When Dean and Cas broke apart, they leaned their foreheads together and stared into the other eyes.

“Happy New Year Cas.” Dean whispered.

Cas smiled affectionately, a warmth spreading through his body as he felt happiness like never before. “Happy New Year Dean.”

                                                         ----------------------------------------------------

Saturday January 1^st, 2011

New Year’s Day began with everyone hungover. Cas being one of the more hungover ones, Dean wasn’t too bad. Currently everyone was hanging out at the ranch, Dean had made a pork roast and cornbread, Sam and Eileen brought the black-eyed peas and cabbage, and Ellen and Bobby brought greens and baked mac and cheese.

It was midafternoon, and everyone had loaded up their plates and taken a seat at the large dining table. Jo and Charlie were chatting animatedly, Ellen was holding a sleeping Robbie so Eileen could eat her lunch, and Cain joined them as well. He was talking ranch things with Bobby and Sam, while Dean and Cas were the last to fill their plates.

“Dean, why do you only have one black-eyed pea, one piece of cabbage and the smallest amount of greens on your plate?” Cas asked with a puzzled look. Cas ate the traditional New Year’s food almost every year and he enjoyed it.

Dean opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Sam’s laughter. “Because he hates healthy things.”

Dean glared at Sam and exclaimed, “I can’t live on rabbit food, I’m a warrior!”

“You’re a rancher Dean.” Cas joked.

“Same thing when you own asshole cows!” Dean insisted.

Cas and Sam chuckled as they made their way to the table. Conversation around the table was lighthearted and fun with New Year’s Resolutions past and present being exchanged. Miracle was hiding under the table hoping for someone to drop some food for him. They were halfway through lunch when there was a knock on the front door. The whole table went silent, Dean and Cas looked at one another.

“Are we expecting anyone else?” Cas asked Dean.

“Not that I know of. I’ll see who it is.” Dean wiped his mouth with his napkin and walked towards the door. When he opened the door there stood a short, middle-aged woman wearing a pantsuit with short blonde hair.

She gave Dean a friendly smile and said, “Hello. Are you Mr. Dean Winchester?”

Dean was confused, he had no memory of ever meeting this woman, so why did she know his name.

“I am. Is there something I can help you with?” He asked cautiously.

“My name is Eleanor Visyak. I’m sorry to bother you on a holiday but we’ve been trying to find a way of contacting you for the last week. I’m with Child Protective Services.” She spoke softly, trying to gauge his reaction.

Well now Dean was really confused, why would CPS be knocking on his door?

“I think you might have the wrong guy; I don’t have a kid.” Dean was trying to calm his racing heart.

“This might come as a shock to you, but I have someone I would like you to meet.” Eleanor looked down; Dean followed her gaze to see a small little girl he hadn’t noticed standing behind her. She couldn’t have been more than four years old, and she was peaking around Eleanor and looking up at Dean shyly.

“This is your daughter, Emma.” Eleanor concluded gently, looking at Dean, once again, gauging his reaction.

Dean opened and closed his mouth multiple times, trying to speak but nothing was coming out. He felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest. He wasn’t sure he heard the woman right and he wanted to ask for clarification but when he looked back down at the little girl his heart stopped; it was like looking into a mirror. She had the same sandy blonde hair he had as a child and his same striking green eyes.

Before he could regain control of his brain and make his mouth work properly, Cas came up behind him.

“Dean who is… it.” Cas stammered as he got a look at the woman and child standing on the porch. Eleanor smiled warmly at Cas and repeated what she had already told Dean.

“My name is Eleanor Visyak, and this is Emma, Mr. Winchester’s daughter.”

Cas’s mouth fell open, he fumbled for words, unsure of what he just heard before going with, “Come again?”

                                                                                                                                                          To Be Continued…