Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the day had been quite eventful for xisuma. admin duties combined with visiting friends and personal projects had kept him occupied all day. he had gotten his starter house all completed, which was a really good early start to the season! he was proud of it. he had planned what else to do with his little area as well, coming up with some good ideas that he’d definitely have to plan out more. however, now it was time to head home before it got too dark and dangerous out here.

he had visited a nearby-ish friend that he hadn’t seen in some time for some iron that would come in handy for his next project. he smiles and thanks his friends before making his way home. he frowns when thunder roared above, realising he should probably hurry back so he isn’t caught up in the rain.

rain fell as xisuma makes his way back to his base, trekking through the woods. he wished he would have waited until the next morning rather than the middle of the day to come out here, but it would be alright. lesson definitely learned, though.

it had begun to rain harder as xisuma grew closer to home. he smiles at the thought of resting by the fire place with a good book and some tea and just being cozy… oh, the good things he had to look forward to. being all wet was uncomfortable, but the rain wasn’t.. too bad. it had been awhile since he’d played in the rain, anyways.

okay, maybe he’s just trying to find the light in the situation like he always does. it’s better than being all down about things and looking at it negatively. he likes being more on the positive side of things. he’s much happier that way and he finds it’s easier to enjoy the little things in life.

xisuma was nearing home and he smiles a bit more. all this journeying and being wet has made him quite hungry.. he’ll have to eat once he’s home, too. he was really looking forward to that tea—

he pauses in his tracks.

the rain continues to fall, taking up most of his senses. the thunder grew closer and louder, it seeming to only rain harder.

he heard it again. past the sound of the rain hitting the leaves of the trees and the forest floor—he heard it. it… sounded like a wounded animal. it could very well be, he was in the middle of the woods, after all. he takes a few steps forwards before furrowing his brows. they were definitely noises of discomfort, though not quite crying. but, where were they coming from?

after more searching, xisuma got his answer. huddled up under a tree in attempt to escape the cold rain was—not an animal, but a boy younger than himself. he had wings that wrapped around him, probably for warmth and dryness against the cold of the rain.

it was a young avian, lost in the rain and possibly hurt. xisuma checks the server, because, well, who is this? how.. now how was this posible? he looks back to the avian with narrowed eyes. he was just.. so young. surely he wasn’t behind this.. right?

remaining wary, xisuma takes a few steps closer. this caught the boy’s attention, big eyes staring back up at him. he shifts to stand, wincing though he tries to hide whatever pain he was in.

the rain only continues to fall harder. the thunder was much closer now, practically overhead. the young avian had slid back down the tree, not taking his gaze off xisuma. he huddles closer back as far as he could get when he stalked closer, before puffing up his wings in attempt to appear bigger than he was. it seemed to work, as the man had stopped. he tries to huddle back further, though he was as far against the tree as he could possibly be. he keeps his wings puffed up, wanting to remain bigger.

the rain muffled the taller man’s voice as he handed over something. it made the young one flinch, and he was hesitant to accept the bread. he did after a few moments, because he was extremely hungry.. he took a bite of the bread after a moment of studying it and looking back up, proceeding to gobble it down afterwards. he shifts after, frowning as he watches the bread man begin to walk away.

“wait!” he’d call out, attempting to stand. he falls back against the tree with a wince before trying again, using his wings to help keep his balance. he clutches his side in pain as he attempts to make his way forwards, though he didn’t get too far. he collapses against the cold, wet ground, calling out again against the loud rain. he curls up there, it not being long before everything fell black.

xisuma smiles gently as he offers the young avian some bread, figuring he might be hungry. he expected the hesitance in him accepting it, though he smiles when he did and began to eat. he debated leaving, but.. what if he wasn’t lost? what if he was? surely he could get back to his base and grab a warm blanket or even an umbrella for the kid before he got down sick? every little bit could help, after all!

he moves to quickly leave, wanting to hurry so he could get back before he was gone. though he pauses in his tracks, hearing the faintest voice call out against the loud rain around them. he quickly makes his way back, frowning when seeing him collapsed against the ground. he frowns and makes his way forwards because, he definitely wasn’t leaving him out here all alone—especially not unconscious. he could help him find his way home in the morning when the storm was clear, but right now getting him out of the rain was his first priority, and his second was seeing what was wrong because oh no he was out cold.

xisuma carries the avian back to his base, exhaling once he was finally home. granted, they were both drenched, but at least now it was dry and warm. he makes his way around his home, grabbing a towel to dry his hair and face before frowning and doing the same to the young one now resting on the sofa. he steps closer to inspect what could have made him pass out, and he frowns as he’d found the culprit. his side was bleeding with the wound that could only come from pulling out an arrow. xisuma is quick to retrieve the first aid kit and get him cleaned up and stop that bleeding.

once the bleeding stops he proceeds to clean up the mess. he exhales, softly dabbing the boy’s face dry before wrapping a warm blanket around him. he just really hoped he woke up..

xisuma sat on the sofa for a couple hours before he had began to hear small noises. he looks down to notice the boy had began to wake. he offers a gentle smile, scooting back just a bit to give him space as he expected him to freak out.

the boy shivers and looks around, blinking sleepily. he hugs the blanket further around himself when realising it was there, nuzzling into the warmth. though the comfortableness didn’t last long as he noticed xisuma sitting beside him. he was quick to try and stand, wincing and biting his lip to mask his pain, staying on the sofa. he looks around the base, frowning as he was no longer in the rain and forest, but rather a cozy home. where is he? and who is that and why are they so intent on helping him??

“who are you?” he asks, backing away from xisuma and pulling the blanket around to his front so he could once again puff up his wings. xisuma just offers a gentle smile, lifting his hands up to assure he meant no harm.

“my name is xisuma. i own this place.” he spoke. the boy just hugs the blanket closer, bringing his knees close as well. he didn’t try to appear more relaxed, though he almost felt more calm knowing he was with the owner. but what if he was a bad owner? what if this server was scary? he just narrows his eyes, continuing to shiver into the blanket though he attempts to hide it.

“why am i here? where.. where is here?” he questions. xisuma just leans back into the sofa, appearing calm. usually if he’d appear calm the other would calm down as well, seeing as he was clearly still tense. he didn’t blame him, though. he was lost and probably scared, and now in the home of some stranger. he had every right to be afraid—not to mention he was younger.

“hermitcraft? this here is my home, though.” he looks around the room. “i’m not sure how you got here. it’s quite odd that i found you.. and that i don’t know who you are.” he looks over. “can you tell me your name?”

“.. it’s grian,” the boy spoke after a moment, eyes still narrowed in distrust. xisuma just nods.

“well it’s nice to meet you, grian. how’s your side doing?”

his side? how did he know about his side? “it.. hurts.” he frowns and exhales. “it’s not bleeding anymore,” he sniffles and shivers. he flinched when xisuma had stood, curling into the sofa as he watches him intently.

xisuma moves around the room for a moment before he’d knelt in front of the fireplace. he got a fire started, rubbing his hands together and humming. he stands afterwards. “it’s warm over here, i see you’re still cold from the rain.” he offers. grian just stares at him.

“i don’t trust you.” he spoke, voice wobbly, though he stands anyways. he kept his distance as he sits in front of the fireplace. a small smile appears on his face at the warmth, scooting closer.

“don’t get too close. it’ll hurt if you do,” xisuma spoke, his smile never fading. grian wondered why he seemed so happy. he doesn’t respond, just looks back to the warm fire and stays huddled close. he allows his wings to relax before shaking the water out. most of it went to the floor below them, though some drops made it into the fire making it hiss, though it barely killed the flames. grian smiles at the sound.

“can you tell me where you live? i’ll take you home once the storm breaks and in the morning when it’s safer.” xisuma spoke. he didn’t let his smile fade, already knowing he didn’t have a home here. he didn’t know how he’d found it here, but he’s here now. grian fell silent, frowning. he shakes his head, pulling his wings closer and not speaking. xisuma watches him. “do you.. not know where you live?”

“i don’t.. live anywhere.” grian mutters after a moment, almost ashamed or afraid to admit it. xisuma just watches him. it really was a mystery… maybe he knew how he got here?

“really now?” he asks. grian just nods. “do you know how you got into the forest?”

“i.. just got there.” grian shrugs. xisuma thought quietly. he was younger, after all. what could spark his memory? maybe he just didn’t know how to word something? “i… fell through a… big spirally thingy. and i lived in the woods for awhile. and then the skeleton hit me.. they usually don’t see me in the trees but.. i guess i wasn’t careful,” he spoke as he plays with his fingers, frowning.

xisuma listens to his words. he fell through a spirally thingy? could he have come from the nether? he really didn’t spark xisuma as something from the nether, though. he wasn’t hostile and he looked rather human… well, aside from being an avian. even then he didn’t look like some nether avian, either—his wings were too colourful, something of the overworld. “do you remember anything before the spirally thingy?” he questions after a moment. grian shook his head.

“no.. just…” he shifts, glancing from his hands to the fire as if attempting to find the right words. “they were like me. with wings,” he flutters his wings as if xisuma wouldn’t know. he hugs them close again after. “but…” he shrugs again. xisuma only nods.

“hey, that’s okay.” he offers his comforting smile and sits beside him in front of the fire, though he kept his distance. “maybe you’ll like it here! everybody’s quite nice,” he nods. grian just remains silent. he didn’t know about anything here. everything seemed.. foreign. not what he’s used to. not who he’s used to… who was he used to? what was he used to? he didn’t know and it almost terrified him. he wanted to cry but he wouldn’t cry in front of this man.

a soft yawn makes its way out of grian and he hugs his knees closer. xisuma takes notice, chuckling softly. “sleepy?” he questions. grian shakes his head despite the yawn. “really now?” xisuma smiles and hums before shifting to stand. he makes his way around the room, collecting a pillow and a blanket. “the fire is warm. it’s really warm to sleep next to, as well. just be careful not to get too close.” he sits the pillow down beside grian before offering the blanket. he accepts it.

“not tired,” he retorts despite another yawn. xisuma just smiles.

“well alright. but, i’ll leave the fire going just for you.” he spoke before making his way around his base, returning with a bowl with a few snacks. “here’s this if you get hungry,” he offers with a smile before making his way out of the room.

grian hugs himself after before glancing at the bowl of snacks. well.. how should he trust it? he narrows his eyes in debate. the man—xisuma, he’d called himself?—could have let him bleed out and just die. he didn’t have to come back. but he didn’t. he could have just let him starve, he could have poisoned the bread earlier. he could have thrown him into the fire.

but he didn’t.

he sniffles as he felt tears fill his eyes and fall. he quickly wipes them away and grabs the snacks, eating every last vegetable and fruit from the bowl. he exhales after, shifting to lie down, yawning, tired after a long day and now after having his tummy full.

pulling the blanket up over himself and resting his head onto the pillow, grian lies by the fire. he’d always hated feeling alone. it scared him and made him think of death. he was afraid of death. he didn’t want to die again. more tears made their way down his face as he exhales and yawns. the fire was warm and quite cozy; it made him tired. he didn’t cry long as he was asleep in no time.

xisuma exhales once back in his bedroom. where was this boy from? it didn’t make any sense.. a spirally thingy? xisuma just assumed he’d meant a portal of sorts. an end portal and nether portals are the only ones he’d known of. the nether didn’t seem right due to that kind of environment not really being suited for an avian. and end portals weren’t spirally at all. not only that, but after searching the code xisuma had found nothing on this grian character. it made no sense to him.

hopefully he could figure something out. hopefully he’d find something that made sense. he was just a child, after all. whatever had happened, he was sure it wasn’t his fault. he wasn’t exactly sure who’s fault it was, or what had even happened. he was confused more than anything.

well, he’d just hoped grian let him care for him, especially until his side was healed. he didn’t like anybody being in pain, especially not on his server; he wouldn’t allow it. he’d made sure grian was warm and not hungry before actually preparing for bed. everything would be okay. maybe even somebody else could figure out what happened, doc knew about some technical stuff like that. cub did, too. he’s sure somebody has an answer.

xisuma was quick to fall asleep, a long and quite stressful day making him sleepy. he told himself everything would be okay, because he was sure of it. he would be sure grian felt comfortable and safe. he would make sure nothing bad happened to him, his server was a safe place and he made sure of it.

everything would be okay. xisuma always made sure of that.

Chapter Text

the next morning was bright and warm. golden sunlight made its way in through the window, effectively waking xisuma, even if slow. he stretches his arms above his head with a smile, happy to get the day started. he shifts out of bed, moving about the bedroom to get ready. he makes his way to the kitchen to start breakfast, humming softly to himself.

once he had gotten the eggs and bacon started, he peeks into the living room. in there rested grian, making xisuma smile. he had added an extra egg and some bacon for him, hoping he was hungry—knowing he’d probably been hungry. seeing as he didn’t have a home who knew how often he’d gotten food before now. it really made xisuma worry, but he was happy that he wouldn’t have to worry now. now, he was safe.

he heard shifting in the other room not long after, smiling softly to himself. he checks on the eggs before making his way into the living room. he watches as the other wakes, sending a soft smile his way. “well good morning there,” he greets. grian just shifts more, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. he yawns.

“hi,” he spoke quietly, glancing around. oh.. that’s right. he’s here. well, at least it smelled nice. he looks away in embarrassment when he felt and heard his stomach rumble. xisuma smiles.

“hungry? i’ve got some breakfast going, it’ll be done quite soon.” he offers. grian just shook his head, hugging the blanket around himself. xisuma frowns at this, though he makes his way back into the kitchen anyways. he places the eggs onto two separate plates, though he lets the bacon cook longer. he heads back to the other room.

“you sure you’re not hungry?” he offers, sitting onto the sofa, still keeping his distance. grian kept his gaze down.

“you don’t have to cook for me. i’ll.. figure it out.” he spoke after a moment, voice quiet. xisuma just frowns.

“why? i’ve made extra and i’m perfectly willing to share,” he’s smiling once again, mostly hoping it will become contagious and he’ll make grian smile, too.

“because. i’ve.. had to get food myself for this long, anyways. i don’t want to be a bother.” grian stands, though he winces. he tries desperately to hide it and fails.

“well, just know you don’t have to. i’ve got you some eggs and bacon ready,” he continues to smile. “how’s your side feeling?” he stands himself, leaning against the sofa. he really hoped grian would just take advantage of his hospitality. from what he understands he deserves it.

“better.. thank you for helping me. you didn’t have to.” grian stayed standing, though he still felt weak. xisuma’s smile falters a bit at his words.

“well i couldn’t just leave you out there in the rain. you’d passed out.” he tilts his head. “why would i do that?” grian didn’t have an answer to this. he just shrugs. xisuma nods and looks around in thought. he smiles once again. “well, breakfast is ready. please, come get some if you’re feeling like it. it’ll help your side, too.” he nods before making his way back into the kitchen to retrieve the bacon from the stove, as it was ready. he’d hate to have it burn and waste.

he sets the table afterwards, placing a plate diagonal from his own for grian. he grabs the newspaper and sits, opening it up to the shopping district news to read as he enjoys his breakfast. he tries not to make it seem like he’s listening or paying attention, hearing as grian had made his way into the room after a bit. he smiles, taking a bite of his own eggs as he continues reading the paper.

grian glances at xisuma, moving one more chair down away from him. he’d grabbed his fork and immediately began eating. and, wow, this was soo so much better than what he had to eat from the forest! he quickly downs his breakfast, barely taking time to breathe. he smiles once he was finished, leaning back in his chair. okay.. maybe taking the food xisuma offered wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

xisuma continues to eat, reading through the paper. he’d glanced over at grian after a moment, smiling softly. “good?” he asks. grian just glances away, nodding. “still hungry?” xisuma offers. grian nods again after a moment. xisuma happily stands to make another egg and some more bacon for grian, smiling happily over at the other. “would you like anything to drink?”

“yes, please..” grian spoke quietly. xisuma nods with a smile and gets right onto it. he offers some juice which grian happily accepts, sipping most of it down. “thank you..” he spoke quietly.

“no problem. really, i like helping.” xisuma replies with a smile. he grabs the paper and continues reading, though he’s checking over on grian every now and then. once the extra eggs and bacon were done, xisuma refills grian’s plate, placing it back down in front of him. grian smiles and thanks him once again, immediately beginning to eat.

xisuma thought it was sad, almost. he ate like he hadn’t had a proper meal in so long, which, honestly was probably the case. well definitely not anymore. he would give him all of the meals and care and love he knew he needed. which, he wished he could give him a hug but he probably shouldn’t. not yet, anyways.

xisuma gets himself some juice as well before sitting back into his own chair with the paper. he’d finished his breakfast a bit ago, just continuing to read as grian finished his. he places the paper down after a moment, smiling softly over at grian. “anything else i could do to help you?” he asks with a smile. grian looks away.

“well… i guess a shower could be nice..” he spoke quietly, as if almost afraid to ask about the concept. though, xisuma happily smiles and nods.

“of course,” he shifts to stand and grian stands afterwards, following him, still keeping his distance. xisuma didn’t mind. he knew he would get more comfortable around him with time. he led him into the bathroom, handing him a dry towel. “just yell my name if you need anything, alright?” he spoke with a smile. grian nods.

“thank you,” he accepts the towel into his arms, hugging it. xisuma smiles and nods, exiting the bathroom and closing the door. he exhales softly, smiling and making his way back downstairs to clean up from breakfast. he washes the dishes and cleans up the table before shifting about to make his usual cup of tea. he didn’t get to enjoy it last night, anyways. not that he was complaining. he’s happy he got to save grian.

grabbing his favourite book, xisuma had settled at the table and began reading. he smiles as he got lost back into the pages. it had been a moment, after all.

he got a few more pages in before a knocking on the door had interrupted him. he smiles as he had visitors—it didn’t happen too often, but when it did he was always delighted to see the hermits.

“oh—doc!” xisuma greets with a smile. “do come in! i’ve been meaning to speak with you, anyhow.” he steps aside so doc could make his way in, closing the door behind him.

“yeah?” he smiles as he glances around. “it smells good in here,” he spoke with a laugh. xisuma laughs with him and smiles.

“oh, yeah—i just had breakfast.” he smiles.

“yeah,” doc nods and glances around. he looks back to xisuma. “you had to speak with me?” he lifts a curious eyebrow. xisuma smiles.

“yeah,” he nods. “so.. you’re technical. i just have a question—just out of curiosity.” he began, looking around the room as well. “so, as you know, the server is private and everything. it isn’t.. possible for someone to like… break in? or end up here on accident, right?”

“oh, uh.. just.. technically speaking?” doc looks at him curiously. this.. sounded like a little more aimed question than just curiosity.

“yeah. just—technically speaking.” he nods. “it isn’t. it—can’t be—right?”

“it.. shouldn’t be.” doc nods. “the server is—private. nobody should end up here on accident, i wouldn’t think. there’s not.. any other ways. to my knowledge.” he nods. xisuma nods along.

“okay, good.” he exhales. well… he’s just more confused now. it didn’t make sense…

“is there.. anything we should worry about?“ doc tilts his head.

“worry? no, not at all!” xisuma smiles. “nothing to worry about at all. just simply curious.” it had happened with evil ex before…. maybe it was a situation like that? xisuma was confused, and he didn’t know. well, he was for sure grian wasn’t a threat. and he could ban him if anything were to happen, but.. he wasn’t a threat.

how is he even meant to ban someone who technically isn’t even there? it didn’t make sense to him, his code, just… wasn’t enlisted. it was confusing stuff, but xisuma was sure he’d figure out something.

“well! anyways, i came to ask about some redstone.” doc spoke up after a moment. xisuma smiles.

“oh—of course!” he nods and happily leads doc to his storage room to assist with the things he’d need.

grian closes his eyes as the water ran down his face. at least it was warm and relaxing.. he wished he could have it against his wings as well, but he didn’t want to make a bigger mess than he already would. plus, he would have trouble drying them and there’s no way he wanted xisuma to touch them. not that he’d hurt him, but.. he didn’t know him. even if he had gave him food and a place to sleep—he’s just being nice. he probably wants him out of his home sooner rather than later. why would he want him to stay? he eats his food and uses up his water. and he didn’t know him.

grian sighs and runs his hands up through his wet hair before looking at his side. it turned the water a little red with the amount it bled while he was in here, but it wasn’t a lot. whatever xisuma did had worked.

well, he couldn’t have him bleeding all over his sofa! of course he’d patched the wound! he wouldn’t.. he couldn’t have him.. messing up his place.

grian found himself on the floor sobbing before the shower had ended. he cries as he lies curled up, hugging himself and wrapping his wings around himself—yeah, the thing he didn’t want to do but he couldn’t help it. his wings always made him feel secure.. it was kind of like a hug. he wished he could get a hug…

after a bit grian stands and shuts the water off, not wanting to waste anymore. he grabs the towel to dry off his face and dry out his hair, standing in the shower as he shakes out his wings so little went to the floor—in theory. he still ended up making a little bit of a mess but he’d clean it up.

grian gets dressed before sighing and trying his best to dry out his wings. he really didn’t want xisuma to touch them. he didn’t want anybody to touch them. he sits onto the bathroom floor with a sigh, frowning quietly. pulling a wing into his lap he tries his best at picking out some of the twigs and leaves that made their way in from last night. he’d always had things stuck in there from the forest and they really irritated them. they mostly fell out as he flew more, though, but.. well, he couldn’t fly with wet wings! that and he didn’t think he could get off the ground at the moment—he could almost barely stand.

he had gotten stuff from his wings the best he could, sighing and frowning at what he couldn’t reach. once he deemed them dry enough to not be messy, he makes his way out of the bathroom. he goes to the kitchen and frowns when xisuma wasn’t there. he.. was somewhere, he’s sure!

he checks the living room and then the bedroom, feeling his heart rate start to pick up when he wasn’t there, either. he.. he’s somewhere! he moves about the house and tilts his head curiously at a staircase. oh! he must just be downstairs! of course! of course he is!

grian makes his way down the stairs, his smile growing as he ascends. he smiles before immediately pausing, his smile dropping and wings immediately puffing up. who is that..?

xisuma had a friend over, but.. grian was sure he’d seen that man in his nightmares! hoping and praying he hadn’t seen him, he quickly makes his way back up the stairs as quietly as possible. he panicked as he looks around before running back to the bathroom, closing himself in. he slides down the door and hugs his knees close. he just wanted xisuma.. which was weird, really. he felt like he could hug him when seeing he’s just downstairs and didn’t leave him forever! but.. he’d rather not meet the other man. he was sure he was nice if xisuma likes him, but..

grian hugs his knees closer and waits patiently. he’d rather just wait patiently. he buries his face into his knees and closes his eyes as he softly exhales. everything would be just fine.. he’d be back soon.. he hugs his wings around himself and keeps his eyes closed, it not being long before everything had faded out and he fell asleep right there.

grian gasps and jumps when there was a knocking on the door. he immediately stands and opens it, throwing his arms around xisuma and hugging him tightly. “oh—!” he’d taken him by quite surprise, too! xisuma just smiles and gently wraps his arms back around him. grian buries his face further into xisuma’s stomach, keeping his eyes closed tight as he hugs onto him. “how was the shower?” xisuma had spoken up. though, with doc over he was sure he’d been done for quite some time now. he also didn’t mention the fact that he was literally hugging him, just smiling happily at the fact and returning it. he knew he’d get used to him eventually.

“good,” grian replies quietly, his voice hushed. xisuma just replies with a soft hum, bringing a hand up to stroke through his hair. grian smiles widely at that, leaning up into the hand. he liked that. he also found out that he really really likes hugs.

“that’s good,” xisuma kept him close in his arms. he knew he really needed it, and he hadn’t tried to pull away just yet, so he figured he was fine. he smiles and gets a closer look at his wings as well. he was glad they didn’t seem injured at all, just damp from the shower. he really should try and find out more about grian. he was an avian, he was pretty sure. plus, xisuma really liked research so it would be a good thing to learn about his new friend.

“anything you’d like to do today?” he spoke, watching him quietly. the question seemed to take him by surprise, and he just shrugs. xisuma nods as well. “maybe go outside?” it might be a stretch as he might see new people, but he trusted the hermits! everybody was nice and they might not even question xisuma about him.

the thought of going outside made grian happy, his wings fluttering at the thought of seeing the sun and feeling it’s rays against his wings and maybe getting to fly again! he nods at the thought. “yeah,” he smiles.

“alright, perfect!” xisuma smiles softly. he gives his hair another ruffle before softly stepping back from the hug. grian gave him another squeeze before letting go, smiling. he likes hugs.

xisuma had made his way about his base before smiling at grian. “ready to go?” grian nods and follows xisuma out the door. he was a little nervous about being out of the forest where people could actually see him, but he was sure he’d be just fine if he stayed close to xisuma! he wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

xisuma makes his way to the library, looking down to make sure grian was by his side every now and again. once they had made it to the library, he smiles as he greets pearl. “good morning, pearl.” he greets.

“xisuma! good morning,” pearl smiles sweetly. she glances down to grian, her eyebrows immediately lifting curiously. who..? she looks back to xisuma. “i see you’ve got a friend!”

“oh, yeah.” xisuma smiles and looks down at grian who moves to hide behind him. he smiles back at pearl. “quite shy,” he smiles before brushing it off. “i am quite curious, have you got any books on avians?” he watches pearl curiosity, trying to keep his voice low.

“oh! we, might?” pearl smiles and moves about to search between shelves, going to a certain section. she hums as she searches, smiling when finding a couple books. “right here we do!” she smiles up at xisuma.

“oh! thank you,” the admin smiles and immediately starts searching. he grabs one of the books and opens it up, lifting his eyebrows. okay, this seemed promising. he looks down to check on grian, frowning a bit when noticing he’d left his side. “don’t go too far,” he spoke up, knowing he probably wouldn’t. he looks back down to the book with a smile. ‘ the wonders of avians: a complete guide. ’ wonders? he was interested. maybe this had something to do with how grian had ended up here in the first place?

grian listened as xisuma had talked with his friend, staying close by. he looks up at him as he looks at his books, but grian wanted to look for something on his own. he makes his way around the shelf, pausing when hearing xisuma’s voice. he definitely wouldn’t go too far without xisuma. he almost felt afraid leaving his side but.. boy was he curious.

he made his way around the library, looking at different books. he didn’t know what he was interested in, really. he did like reading, but he’d never had a certain genre he liked. at least he didn’t think he did. he had eventually made his way up to the counter, pausing when seeing the lady from before. he took a step back, wings immediately fluffing up in defense. pearl just smiles down at him.

“hi there! i haven’t seen you around before,” she’d spoken, her smile sweet. well.. she seemed nice.

“hi,” grian glances behind him. okay, xisuma was right there. he wasn’t far away. he looks back up to the girl.

“what’s your name?“ she leans against the counter, her smile never faltering.

“.. grian,” he was a bit hesitant to tell her his name, but he knew she was probably another friend of xisuma’s. they seemed close.

“grian! it’s nice to meet you, i’m pearl.” she—pearl—smiles. grian smiles back. she seemed nice enough.. grian looks back to make sure xisuma was still there, and he was. he looks back to pearl. “you must be new here! i haven’t seen you around before,”

“i’m… new,” grian nods. new.. ish. he’d been hidden for a while, but he wasn’t exactly sure how long. but it was cool to get to actually talk to a hermit he’d seen around the forest.. maybe a couple of times.

“well, welcome! if you ever need help with anything, let me know! i’m always happy to help,” she smiles. grian just returns it and nods.

“i see you’ve met pearl,” grian turns when hearing xisuma speak. he smiles and nods. “that’s good,” he smiles before looking back at pearl.

“did you find what you needed?” she smiles. xisuma nods.

“i did! thank you, i really am glad you had one.” he nods. “it’ll be really helpful.” he smiles sweetly. pearl returns it.

“i’m glad!” she claps.

“me too.” xisuma smiles. “well, i best be on my way. thank you, again, pearl.” he nods before waving at pearl. grian looks at pearl and waves as well, liking how her smile grew upon saying goodbye to him. he liked pearl.

grian follows xisuma out of the library, sticking close by as if he could be snatched up at any moment. “did you find anything you liked?” xisuma had spoken up after a moment. grian just shrugs.

“i dunno,” he replies. “i’d like to read, but.. i don’t know what i like.”

“well, how about i lend you one of my favourite books?” xisuma smiles. grian smiles and nods. he liked that idea. he knew if it was xisuma’s favourite it had to be really good.

they had arrived back home not long after and grian sits onto the sofa. he glances around, thinking about what could be fun. he was quite bored. and hungry. xisuma rests his book onto the table before moving to the living room. he leans against the wall, smiling at grian. “bored?” he questions. grian only nods. xisuma smiles. “well, how would you like to meet another one of my friends?” he figured he should slowly start to introduce grian to the other hermits. he wasn’t really meant to keep him a secret, after all. especially if he was to be a new member. grian smiles, nodding and liking the idea. he paused after.

“it’s.. not the scary guy from earlier.. is it?” he frowns. he didn’t like that guy.. he felt like if he made the wrong move he’d.. grian would rather not think about it.

“oh, so you saw doc, huh?” xisuma hums and continues to smile. “we won’t visit him, then, don’t you worry.” he smiles sweetly. “i have another friend i think you’d get along with just fine.”

Chapter Text

behaviour.

avians tend to stay in flocks (see section flocks) rather than alone. they will go out during the day and return to the home “nest” at night. they don’t usually tend to stay alone for more than hours at a time, usually staying close by flock members. young avians imprint on their parent (most commonly being the mother) or a close member if said parent(s) are absent. if no parents are around, then it is possible for avians to imprint on other persons to make up for the lack of family. separation anxiety is common for young avians who have imprinted on their mother or other persons. if a flock is absent, younger avians aren’t likely to live long due to lack of food, home, and self defense and due to avians thriving off of each other rather than being alone. they tend to be quite skittish around new people and not as trusting at first, but once used to a person, they are bound to be more affectionate and get along easily with others once nerves are set aside.

xisuma smiles at how happy grian seemed to meet another hermit. he was glad he seemed more excited than anxious, worried he’d get too nervous and back out. that wasn’t the case though, and xisuma was glad grian seemed quite happy to meet new people.

he had led him to his friend’s base, glancing around. he hums to himself; he should be here… “oh my—!” xisuma gasps as scar suddenly appears upside down in front of him, limbs being tangled up in vines which was the only thing holding him up.

“why hello there,” he spoke after a moment, breaking down into giggles after. xisuma smiles happily.

“hello, scar,” he greets. grian had hid behind xisuma when scar was suddenly in front of them, though he peeks around him to watch the strange boy before him. he was close to grian’s age, and he seemed to be some kind of.. elf? he had pointy ears and a sweet smile, his eyes a bright emerald green.

“any specific reasons you’re upside down?” xisuma chuckles with a sweet smile. scar just giggles and goes to shift and stand before he gasps, the vines he had found himself tangled up in breaking. he yelps as he falls to the ground, grian gasping along with him and leaning forwards to see if he was alright because—that seemed like a hard fall—

“i’m alright!” scar, as xisuma had called him, had spoke, shifting to stand. he smiles before gasping when he’d spotted grian. “oooh, new hermit?” he smiles happily at xisuma. the admin just nods.

“yep! thought i should introduce him to you,” he smiles. scar claps with a smile.

“oooh exciting!” scar smiles before he makes eye contact with grian, making his wings fluff up a bit. he stays close to xisuma, knowing he was safe with him. “hello! i’m scar,” he introduces himself with a smile. grian just stares at him. “what’s your name?” he’d spoken up after a moment, seeming patient, his smile never faltering.

“.. grian,” grian spoke after a moment, eyeing the elf. he seemed nice…

“grian? oooh!” scar giggles and grian noticed he’d seemed very happy. “i like your name!” he smiles at the new hermit. grian offers a small smile in return, though he still remained hidden.

“he’s quite shy at first,” xisuma had spoke with a soft hum. he turns to look back at grian with a smile. “he’s quite talkative though once he’s gotten used to you.” he smiles. grian just stares at scar, watching him quietly. his gaze then focuses on the scenery behind him, his eyes widening.

“like what you see?” scar questions with a smile, clasping his hands together.

“it’s pretty..” grian spoke up after a moment, feathers slowly lying flat like usual as grian found himself relaxing.

“why thank you! i did build it myself,” scar hums at the compliment. grian looks at him before looking forwards once more. it was very lush, the garden quite the scenery to look at.

“i really like it,” he spoke as his smile grew. scar smiles even more.

“would you like a tour?” he offers, eyebrows lifting. grian thought for a moment before nodding with a smile. “come on! i’ll show you around,” scar spoke before beginning his way down the path. grian was hesitant, though he follows behind scar, glancing back to look at xisuma.

“i’ll be close by! don’t you worry,” he spoke with a smile. grian still seemed hesitant, glancing at scar before nodding. xisuma wouldn’t just leave. he wouldn’t just abandon him—he would be right there!

scar smiles as he led grian down the path, glancing behind himself as the avian trailed behind him slightly, almost as if keeping his distance. he just smiles sweetly. “over here is the fountain. i always like throwing diamonds in and making a wish,” he smiles over at grian as he led him close. grian was immediately interested in the fountain, making his way beside scar to look at it.

“it’s so pretty,” he found himself complimenting again, his smile growing. scar smiles happily.

“why thank you! it’s a design i came up with myself! though i did take some inspiration from impulse, i must admit.” grian didn’t know who that was, but he didn’t really care at the moment. he just watches the water flow down from the central column of the fountain. oh to be able to have a bath in there, give his wings a nice wash. he could definitely yearn.

“and over here is the garden,” scar led grian further down the path, smiling. grian smiles as he takes in all of the colourful flowers, the tall ones and the shrubs being his favourite. he really liked how they lined the outside of the flower bed, as well as being littered about the pathway. it really was something, and grian liked the vibes of the place as well. he felt himself able to relax, following scar down the path once more.

“here’s the swing i made, too.” he smiles happily down at grian. “it’s really cozy to just come out here and sit.” he nods. “oh!” he led grian to a little clearing. “here’s where i like to lie at night and watch the stars!”

“i like stars,” grian found himself speaking. the little clearing was cozy as well, flowers here and there and the grass soft and vibrant. the whole place was very nice and well put together; it was beautiful.

“i do too! i like watching the clouds during the day as well, but sometimes the sun gets in the way.” scar chuckles, moving to sit on the swing. grian hesitates, but he sits beside him, though he still kept his distance. “we should watch the stars together sometime! do you know the constellations?” scar spoke up, smiling over at grian. the avian smiles.

“i know a few,” he looks around, watching the wind blow about the taller grass, the water of the fountain providing a relaxing background noise. it really was peaceful here, he did have to admit.

“we should try and find them,” scar smiles. “i can never find the little dipper,”

“it’s towards the north,” grian replies, playing with his fingers mindlessly. scar smiles happily over at him.

“yeah! maybe i should use my compass!” he nods. “that would be fun.” he hums happily. ooooh he couldn’t wait to spend more time with his new friend! he really liked grian.

grian thought to himself. he had grown used to scar, he thinks. he seemed fun and he definitely had good taste, he must admit. plus, he really liked his builds! he was talented.

“we could probably read more about constellations and write down all of the ones we find!” scar nods. he looks over at grian after. “i keep a journal that i like to write that kind of stuff in, though most of it is quite random.” he giggles softly. grian smiles. “journalling is fun, too.” scar nods and looks forwards. he watches the fountain quietly. “i like watching the moon, too! i like to write down which phase is what day,” he smiles. “or night, rather.” he giggles.

grian just nods along to his words, smiling and playing with his fingers. he wished he was good at communicating, he felt bad not really giving scar any responses. though, the elf didn’t seem to mind too much. he just continues to smile and talk to grian, smiling more at all of the little responses he did receive. he understood how grian felt, and he was sure he’d get used to him soon! especially if they hung out more often, which he definitely looked forward to!

“i draw sometimes, too. i’ve drawn a few of the constellations i’ve found,” scar had continued. “i like to draw different flowers and trees as well.” he nods. he smiles over at grian. “do you draw?”

grian felt his heart flutter at the question. he thought about it. he’d like to draw. he never really had a journal, though.

“i.. don’t have journals,” he replies quietly. “i’d like to, though!” he spoke. scar just nods to his response with a smile before abruptly standing.

“wait right here! i’ll be back,” he smiles before he’s running off. grian frowns at that, though he plays with his fingers and waits patiently for him to return. when he did he had his arms behind his back, a wide smile on his face. “close your eyes,” he spoke. grian immediately frowns. why? why would he want his eyes closed? “go on!” he’s giggling, though, as if it isn’t a big deal. grian furrows his brows and is hesitant, but he closes his eyes. “now hold out your hands.” scar spoke after. grian closes his eyes tighter, doing so.

scar smiles happily and grian felt a light weight in his hands. he closes his fingers around the object, opening his eyes when scar said that he could. grian looks down at his hands—there rested a journal that had a pen attached, having a little spot for it on the side of the cover. said cover was covered with a galaxy print, covered in stars and even a few planets. grian felt his heart clench; he looks up at scar. “you don’t—“

“nope! don’t say i don’t have to!” scar just giggles. “please accept it.” he then offers a sweet smile, watching him. grian meets his gaze, a smile covering his own face. scar sits back beside him, looking down at the journal in his hands. “you said you didn’t have a journal—now you do!” he smiles sweetly.

“i.. thank you,” grian felt his eyebrows furrow. he couldn’t cry. he—everybody was so nice. from scar giving him a journal, to xisuma helping him and giving him a home.

grian immediately begins to frown. scar tilts his head curiously. “grian? are you okay?” he questions. grian just looks up, eyes beginning to search the area frantically.

“i— where did he go?” he asks as he stands up off the swing. scar follows him, offering a reassuring smile.

“xisuma? he’s waiting just outside the garden! don’t you worry.” he places a soft hand to his shoulder, though grian had flinched away. he almost spoke, though he bit his tongue. he just tries to see if he could see him, worry clenching in his chest when he was still out of sight. he tries to even out his breathing, not liking being away from xisuma this long, though he didn’t want to panic over something so—small.

he just nods along to scar’s words, looking down at the journal in his hands. “thank you,” he’d spoken after a moment. scar smiles happily.

“of course! we should journal together sometime! we can watch the stars and draw the constellations,” scar was speaking, smiling happily as he thought about spending time with his new friend. grian just nods along to what he was saying. scar tilts his head and smiles. “would you feel better if we went to see him? he’s just right outside!” he offers. grian nods, exhaling.

“yeah,” he spoke before he’s making his way towards the entrance of the garden. scar’s following him with a smile. grian smiles when xisuma had came into view, though he freezes as horror strikes him, wings immediately puffing up in defense, trying to seem bigger, though he also prays he hadn’t seen him…

“grian?” scar questions with a frown, head tilting curiously. grian just shakes his head, taking a step back and quickly running down the path. scar frowns and follows after him. “grian! what’s wrong?” he asks as he follows grian behind a large tree off at the end of the garden. grian shakes his head, sitting and pulling his knees close. scar sits in front of him with a smile.

“it’s him again..” grian frowns, his eyebrows furrowed. scar frowns a bit, thinking quietly to himself before meeting grian’s gaze.

“you mean doc?” he watches him. grian just nods, eyes downcast.

“he was over the other day..” grian mutters, hugging his knees closer. scar just nods, biting his lip in thought. “i don’t like him.”

“yeah.. i understand why doc scares you—he’s scared me before, too! but he’s nice,” scar nods with a reassuring smile. “would you like to meet him? it might help—“

“no.” grian immediately shakes his head. “are you crazy?” he meets scar’s gaze. scar just grins.

“i mean, you did see me fall on my face earlier as a first impression,” he teases. this causes a smile to cross grian’s face, making scar smile even more.

“i don’t like him,” grian huffs after, though he seemed more relaxed now. well, at least a little. he did like scar. he was nice and funny. “i don’t like xisuma talking to him.” he spoke up after a moment, looking down at the journal he now held in his lap, shifting to sit cross legged. scar hums in thought.

“i understand.. they’re good friends, though. xisuma is good friends with everybody.” he smiles sweetly at grian. he just shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed. why was he even talking about his emotions to scar? maybe because he listens. and he knew everybody. he just looks away, wanting to stay hidden away from the scary man.

“do you wanna draw something together?” scar had spoken up after a moment, gesturing to the journal in grian’s hands, and mostly wanting to change the subject. drawing had always helped scar feel better when he was sad—it could help grian, too! grian thought quietly before nodding, allowing scar to take the journal and open it to a random page towards the front. he smiles and retrieves a pen from his pocket, smiling sweetly at grian.

grian watches scar quietly. what was he meant to draw? he looks around the garden and just looks down, watching scar quietly. he plays with the pen between his fingers as he watches him draw, head tilting curiously.

“i’ve always wanted to have a little pond here,” he spoke, the smile never leaving his face. grian watches him, a smile of his own growing. scar hums as he drew, smiling. “i think it would look nice… on the opposite side of the fountain and maybe.. beside the tree?“ he taps his pen in thought before smiling up at grian. “any ideas?”

“um..” grian felt a bit caught off guard, though he looks down and thinks quietly. he continues playing with the pen, biting his lip. “yeah,” he spoke as he adjusted the journal so he could have a better angle to sketch out the pathway, adding the pond near the garden. he drew little bushes and small boulders near it, glancing up at scar after.

“oooh!” scar smiles happily. “yeah!” he nods and bites his lip. “rocks around the pond would look really good,” he nods. grian smiles. “maybe..”

“if the pond is a bit bigger you could have a bridge.. and maybe a well? i think it could also be cool to decorate.. like an above part of the bridge,” he bites his lip. “well… maybe not,” he drew out the bridge before moving to a second spot on the page to draw a concept for the bridge with posts going up the top, drawing some leaves and bushes along the top that went across to the other side. scar smiles happily at his art, nodding along.

“yes!” he smiles happily. “ooooh!! i can’t decide now,” he taps his pen against his chin. grian smiles and passes the journal over to scar who draws in the rocks next to the pond, followed by little fences around the edge next to the bridge. he bit his lip, humming to himself.

“i like it,” grian spoke up, seeing how scar debated. scar grins at grian.

“a-may-zin,” he giggles, smiling happily, which grian smiles as well.

it didn’t seem like long before the sun had begun to set, and grian almost felt upset when hearing xisuma call for his name—only because that meant he had to leave scar and go home. though, he was quite hungry. he wanted dinner.

scar and grian make their way up the path, grian smiling happily at xisuma, feeling completely relaxed now that he was back and the scary man was gone.

“what have you got there?” xisuma smiles as he looks between the two, glad that grian had grown comfortable around scar.

“a journal—scar gave it to me, and we drew together.” grian spoke with a smile. scar nods.

“uhhuh!” he hums happily. xisuma chuckles.

“well, i’m glad you two got along,” he smiles. “as i knew you would.”

“yep! grian is quite the builder himself, too! he has lots of good ideas.” scar smiles. grian felt his face grow warm at the words, huffing. xisuma just smiles.

“i’m definitely sure of that,” he smiles sweetly between the two boys before his gaze lands on grian. “are you ready to head home?”

“yeah, i’m hungry.” he nods. scar smiles at grian.

“thank you for drawing with me!”

“thank you for the journal.” grian smiles. scar returns it before he waves.

“i’ll see you later, grian!” he spoke before he had turned and disappeared down the path. grian smiles and moves next to xisuma, following him as he began to walk back home.

“i like scar,” grian spoke with a smile. xisuma smiles down at him.

“i knew you would,” he responds. grian looks down at the journal his hands, following close beside xisuma.

once they had arrived home grian makes his way inside and sits onto the sofa. he kicks off his shoes before leaning back, watching as xisuma moves around the room before going into the kitchen to start dinner. grian looks down at the journal and opens the cover, flipping to the page that the two had drawn on. grian liked how both of their styles went together, blending beautifully. he looks over the garden idea, smiling at it and almost hoping scar went with his idea. he didn’t expect it, though. they were just drawing, after all.

it was a bit before dinner was ready, though grian was in the dining room once it was served. he had began to eat quickly, smiling happily at the taste of the cooked vegetables, his wings fluttering mindlessly. he looks around the room as he ate, noticing different little details. he looks at xisuma when he’d spoken. “so you like scar?“ he spoke. grian smiles and nods.

“i do,” he replies before taking another bite. xisuma smiles.

“good. i’m glad you’ve made a friend.” he watches grian who nods.

“he was nice and i like his garden.” he looks down at his plate quietly. xisuma watches him with a smile.

“his garden is quite lovely,” he nods in agreement. grian nods as well. “would you like to see him again tomorrow?” he questions. grian began to smile more.

“yeah,” he plays with his fork quietly in his fingers. he’d like to hang out with scar again, maybe draw some more!

“good! i’m glad you’d like to. i have some things i need to give some attention to.” xisuma smiles. grian begins to frown with his words.

“you’re.. not going to stay?” he questions after a moment. xisuma just smiles softly at him.

“you’ll be alright with scar, won’t you?” he watches him quietly. grian just looks down. yeah, he probably would, but.. he didn’t want him to leave! especially with..

“.. are you going to be with doc?” he spoke up again. xisuma’s smile falters a bit, though he just tilts his head.

“aw, come on now, he’s not that scary.” he chuckles softly. grian just huffs, his wings fluttering lightly.

“yes he is..” he frowns, suddenly not feeling hungry. he places his fork down, playing with his fingers quietly. xisuma frowns at this, shifting to reach out a hand and softly hold one of grian’s. grian instinctively wants to pull away, though he doesn’t. he likes the touch, xisuma always making him feel safe.

“grian,” xisuma spoke after a moment, watching him quietly.

“i don’t like him,” grian admits after a moment, wings sinking lightly. xisuma just tilts his head the opposite way.

“i’m sure you would if you got to know him—“

“no. no, i don’t want to meet him!” grian shakes his head and closes his eyes tight. xisuma frowns and stands to move and sit in the chair beside grian’s.

“okay.. you don’t have to meet him.” he assures, rubbing his arm softly. grian wouldn’t allow himself to cry. he just nods and exhales shakily. “you just worry about your day with scar tomorrow, alright?” he smiles sweetly. grian just nods, his eyes remaining closed. “let’s finish dinner, okay?” he smiles, grabbing his plate to move it to his new spot. grian nods and picks up his fork again, though he stares down at his plate. he began to eat after a moment—he was still quite hungry and he doesn’t like being hungry.

the rest of dinner went by and grian had yawned once he was full. he liked being full. he rubs his face and stands when xisuma did, moving about to hand him his plate as he collects the dishes. grian moves to sit onto the sofa, looking down at his hands quietly.

“would you like the fireplace again?” xisuma had spoke after a moment, to which grian agrees. he watches as xisuma gets the fire going before he moves to sit in front of the fireplace quietly. he’s handed the pillow and blanket once again, and grian quietly hugs them close. “if you need anything, just call my name, alright?” he smiles sweetly. grian returns it and nods. “goodnight, grian.”

“goodnight,” grian watches as he had left the room, frowning after. he rests the pillow down and shifts quietly, resting his head onto it. he lies there for a moment before grabbing the journal and sitting up a bit. he shifts so he could draw the fire, just a little sketch to hopefully make himself tired. he just places the journal aside after a bit, curling up once again afterwards.

grian always hated being alone. the sound of the fire was relaxing though, it alone almost lulling him to sleep. though something wasn’t right.

he didn’t like being away from xisuma.

he curls up and shifts and turns, feeling as if he’s unable to get comfortable. he didn’t want to cry—he always hated crying. he didn’t like being away from xisuma, and he especially didn’t like xisuma being near the scary man.

grian shifts after a few moments, staring down at the fire. he hated leaving its warmth but it would be worth it. he quietly makes his way down the hall, wings fluttering quietly behind himself. he peers into xisuma’s bedroom, frowning when finding him awake, reading his new book. he exhales and hides behind the wall, beginning to pace a bit. he slides down the wall after a few moments, hugging his knees close.

this was fine. xisuma was just in the other room. he was right there! he wouldn’t go anywhere—he couldn’t go far.

it wasn’t long before grian was falling asleep right there outside xisuma’s bedroom. everything had fallen dark before he was suddenly jerked out of his sleep with a light gasp.

everything was now dark, making grian’s heart rate pick up. he didn’t like the dark. he’d always had the light of the moon or more recently the fireplace he’d slept beside. he really didn’t like the dark.

shifting up to his feet, grian attempts to see through the darkness. in xisuma’s room he saw him fast asleep in bed. grian was quick to silently make his way into the room.

what if he woke him up? he’d feel really bad.. though, he was just glad he was here. yawning, grian carefully makes his way onto the bed. it dipped lightly with his weight, grian glancing at xisuma to make sure he hadn’t woken him up. seeing as he was still asleep, grian shifts to curl closer into him, his eyes falling closed. xisuma was warm, making grian smile. he was right here.. grian wasn’t alone anymore when xisuma was right here.

he curls close into him, yawning and resting his head against the pillow. his wings flutter quietly, shifting to wrap around himself. it wasn’t long before he was falling asleep, feeling xisuma’s gentle, protective arms wrap around him and hug him close.

grian felt safe. he felt safe from the dark and the scary man. he knew with xisuma by his side, nothing bad could ever happen to him. he felt safe in the hug, knowing nothing would ever hurt him as long as xisuma was around.

Chapter Text

wings.

an avian’s wings are what make them who they are. like bird wings, they are divided into remiges, the primary and secondary feathers specialised for flight, and smaller covert feathers that cover the quills which smooth air flow over the wing. there are generally 9-12 primary feathers; they cannot fly without them. the secondary feathers provide lift and stabilisation. the scapular feathers are the feathers that transition from the wing to the body (the base); they tend to be the most sensitive.

an avians wings often depict certain emotions; communication through their wing language (which is similar to body language) is very common. for example, fluffed up feathers indicate playfulness, happiness and excitement, arousal, and self defense—such as when attempting to appear bigger to intimidate possible threats. lower falling wings indicate sadness, shame, and embarrassment. wings will often flutter when happy and/or pleased, and some wing language can sometimes be subtle and missed completely.

it is important for avians to keep their wings clean. unkempt wings are usually uncomfortable, and can affect both mental and physical health. preening between once and twice per week is most common. lack of avian wing preening is often a sign of depression, though most tend to skip a preening session due to the difficultly to reach the whole wing without assistance. without a helping hand, wing cleaning can go undone and can lead to mood swings and depression that can be serious.

everything was dark. it felt heavy, grian’s lungs feeling tight. he felt like no matter how hard he struggled he didn’t move a muscle, no matter how loud he called for xisuma he was as quiet as could be. the last thing he seen was the scary man coming towards him before he’s breaking into sobs, the bright light of the morning finally shining through.

xisuma had woken up to shifting beside him. he yawns and stretches, sitting up. he frowns softly at grian, immediately shifting closer to softly begin shaking him awake. “grian,” he calls softly, attempting to lull him out of the nightmare. grian continues shifting about, little whimpers leaving his throat, eyebrows furrowed and eyes closing tight. xisuma shakes him a bit harder before he’s breaking down into sobs, finally having woken up.

xisuma is quick to pull grian into a close hug, softly rubbing his back and keeping him close. grian curls in, hiding his face into his shoulder. he hugs tight onto xisuma, crying. “hey, come on, you’re alright.” xisuma calms softly, hugging him more and continuing the soft back rubs. grian continues to cry, breathing uneven as he panicked lightly. he calmed with the back rubs, though, soon just breaking down into sobs. “come on, don’t cry. breathe,”

xisuma continues to attempt to calm him, taking in deep breaths himself in hopes that grian would sync  with his breathing. it had slowly begun working after a moment, grian crying softly as he inhales and exhales shakily. “there you go; see, you’re alright. everything’s okay,” xisuma strokes a soft hand up through his hair, voice remaining gentle and making grian relax further. he sniffles and hugs xisuma tighter, face remaining hidden in his shoulder.

“wanna talk about it?” xisuma spoke softly, continuing to stroke his hair and hug grian close. grian shook his head immediately. of course not! he would be so upset that he’s afraid of his friends.. grian felt more sobs wreck his body, hugging tighter onto xisuma. he just kept grian close, continuing to hold him. “it’s alright, come on. you don’t have to talk about it,” he rests his head softly onto grian’s, hugging him.

grian sniffles, eyebrows furrowed. he hated being so afraid but he couldn’t help it! especially since knowing xisuma likes him, he has to be friendly! he just.. couldn’t let him know he was having nightmares about him! he’d be so upset… the last thing grian ever wanted was for xisuma to be upset with him.

“you hungry? would a breakfast help?” he heard him offer. he was quite hungry.. he just sniffles and nods, though he made no attempts to move. he didn’t want to leave xisuma’s side, not wanting to be away from him or out of his safe arms for even a moment. xisuma just continues smiling gently, knowing it would one day be contagious. plus, smiling was positive. remaining positive in bad situations was always best.

giving grian a gentle squeeze, xisuma shifts to stand. he smiles sweetly down at him, ruffling his hair softly before making his way out of the room and to the kitchen. grian had followed close behind, sitting at the table quietly. he watches xisuma move about the room as he prepared breakfast.

once he felt calmed down from the nightmare, grian stands and goes to the living room. he kneels next to the fire place, grabbing his journal before sitting. he opens it up to a new page, thinking to himself before beginning to draw.

once breakfast was ready xisuma had called grian to the kitchen. he stands and takes his journal with him, sitting at the table. he continues his drawing as xisuma sets his plate down before letting it close as he began to eat.

“what have you got there?” xisuma smiles sweetly as he takes a bite of his own toast. grian looks up and smiles.

“the journal scar gave me,” he replies, opening it back up and turning the pages to the drawing he’d started a bit ago. “here’s what i did just now,” he spoke, turning the book and pushing it towards xisuma. the admin looks over it, smiling.

“oh! why, you can really draw, can’t you?“ he smiles up at grian. he just smiles, wings fluttering happily behind him. he turns the page back one.

“here’s what me and scar did yesterday, too!” he spoke, smiling happily up at xisuma who nods, eyebrows lifting.

“well i’m quite impressed with the both of you,” he smiles. “you really are talented, grian. you should try to build with scar sometime,”

“i’d like to,” grian lets the journal close once more as he began to eat his toast.

“you should today. are you still up to seeing him?” xisuma continues to eat. grian smiles happily and nods.

“yep!!” he takes a happy bite out of his toast. he really liked his new elf friend.

“good,” xisuma hums. “i’m glad you’re still interested.”

“are you still going to..” grian trails off. after that nightmare, he didn’t even want to speak of him. xisuma just chuckles.

“mhmm, we’re working on a project together.” he replies, keeping his voice gentle. grian just kept his gaze downcast. “grian,” xisuma softly reaches over to pat his hand. “i want you to just worry about your day with scar, alright?” he smiles sweetly. grian just huffs, wings pressing flat against his back.

“i..” he goes to speak but just falls silent.

“don’t you worry about me, alright?”

“you telling me not to worry makes me feel like something bad is going to happen..” grian mutters, feeling his appetite suddenly leave. xisuma just chuckles softly at his concerns.

“what do you feel like could happen?” he watches grian, taking another bite of his toast.

“i don’t want him to hurt you..” grian furrows his brows. it felt stupid admitting, but he couldn’t help be worried, if not afraid. xisuma just keeps smiling, giving grian’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“grian. please listen to me. doc is a really good friend of mine, okay? and even if he did try to do something—which wouldn’t ever happen—he knows who would win.” he lifts a brow. “doc is strong, but he knows he really doesn’t stand a chance.” grian listened, though he continues to frown. he nods at his words and slowly takes another bite of his toast. xisuma pats his hand before letting go to grab his glass and sip his juice. “nothing at all to worry about.”

“.. scar said doc is nice,” grian spoke up after a moment, sniffling. xisuma smiles sweetly.

“see? nothing at all to worry about! he’s very chill and laid-back. not scary at all,” grian looks at his journal and continues to eat. he still didn’t like him.

breakfast continued on in a comfortable silence, though it was broken by xisuma after a moment. “can i ask you something?” he spoke. grian nods, sipping his own juice. “was your nightmare about doc?” he watches grian quietly, taking a bite of bacon. grian’s gaze drops and he fell silent. he was going to be so upset and angry with him! he felt tears fill his eyes, though he quickly blinks them away. he didn’t want xisuma upset with him—he never wanted him upset with him!

“why are you crying?” xisuma had questioned, softly reaching over to give his hand a squeeze once again. grian just shakes his head.

“i’m not.” he sniffles and continues eating. xisuma just drops the subject for now, continuing to rub his arm before retrieving his hand. grian immediately missed the touch, though he continues eating as well.

once breakfast was finished, xisuma had stood and grian stands as well, handing his plate over. he sits back at the table and grabs his journal, continuing to draw as xisuma cleaned up from breakfast. he looks up when feeling a hand in his hair, smiling happily up at him and leaning into it. “would you like a shower before we go?” he questions. grian contemplates, wings fluttering lightly as he thought. he just shakes his head, deciding he could just shower when they got home.

“i want to go see scar,” he replies. xisuma nods and moves about his base.

“alright, let’s go.” he smiles over at him. grabbing his journal, grian quickly stands and follows xisuma out the door. he smiles happily as they walk, staying close by xisuma. when they got to scar’s base, grian smiles happily, practically vibrating with excitement. xisuma chuckles at him and waits patiently for scar.

it had been a few moments before scar appeared, though grian is quickly tugged to the side so he isn’t hit with a falling minecart. his wings fluff up immediately as he grips onto xisuma’s arm, though he relaxes when seeing scar in said minecart. his smile grows. “why hello there,” scar had spoken. grian grins.

“hello, scar.” xisuma chuckles. “always a creative way to say hello,”

“always—and you know what, it makes it fun.” he spoke as he stood and turns towards the two. he smiles happily. “grian! you’ve come back,”

“i have,” grian smiles. scar smiles at him before looking back to xisuma.

“well, i’ll leave you two to it.” xisuma smiles and looks at grian. “no worrying from you,” he’d spoke, voice soft. grian’s wings just twitch, a soft huff escaping him. he couldn’t help it..

“yeah! oh, grian—we’re going to have so much fun!!” scar claps, giggling. grian smiles happily before looking to xisuma. he steps closer and hugs him tightly, nuzzling against him, wings fluttering softly behind him. the admin smiles down at him, a soft hum escaping him.

“i’ll be back just before sundown,” he’d spoken, stroking one hand through his hair. grian nods against him quietly, arms tightening around him, almost refusing to let go. he didn’t like the thought of being away from xisuma for long, but he’d be having fun with scar! he wouldn’t think about it too much—it would be fun! he slowly began to let go and xisuma smiles sweetly down at him. “i’ll see you boys later!” he waves before he’s off.

grian felt his wings flutter, frowning as an anxious feeling immediately twists in his chest as he watches him walk away. he was almost tempted to go and follow him, though he felt a hand on his shoulder. he looks over and smiles at scar.

“come on! i have so much planned for us today,” he giggles as he claps. he grabs grian’s hand softly before he’s leading him into his base. grian looks down at their hands before following him, finding it odd that he didn’t mind the contact. it was nice.

he smiles as he walks with scar, watching as he’d let go and began to bounce around his base. grian smiles happily at him. “oh! what should we do first?? we could build or have a picnic or draw some more— you’ve probably just had breakfast so you probably aren’t too hungry— we could build? OH!” scar gasps and lands in front of grian making him jump, not expecting it. his smile only grew. “we could build the bridge we drew yesterday!” he smiles and claps. “oh that would be so great!!” scar had so much energy and grian had quickly grown to love it.

“yeah!“ he looks down to his journal and turns to the page. scar moves over to look over the page before leaving to another room. grian follows. multiple chests open and grian just watches curiously.

“here’s just a collection of things i think we might use,” scar was speaking as he searches. grian smiles as he watches him, glancing down at the journal. he looks over the drawing before closing it. scar smiles happily once he’s done, grabbing the new box and heading back out of the room. grian follows.

they’re heading out to the garden and scar hums quietly to himself. “now.. where to add the pond…” he bit his lip in thought. “i like your idea of having it behind the tree…” he spoke before humming more. grian just nods and continues looking around, wanting to contribute.

“maybe.. have a bridge lead to a second part of your garden.. and add the pond in after?” he spoke his thoughts out loud, still looking around the area for what could be best. scar nods quietly to him.

“yeah, you’re right… maybe we should build the bridge first. it’s a lot easier to redo a bridge than it is a whole pond!” he giggles.

and that’s what they did. scar had began to build the bridge beside the flower garden, grian pitching in and helping a bit—getting a lot of compliments from scar. they had added another part to the flower garden across the bridge before digging out below it for the pond. around it grian added the rocks as scar had worked on the garden, the two working together quite well.

“there we are!” scar smiles happily and claps. he took a step back to look at their work, grian standing beside him.

“i like how it turned out,” grian nods. scar smiles happily.

“yeah! you’re so good at building, grian— have you built before?” he looks over. grian just shrugs with a smile.

“not.. a lot, but i’ve wanted to.”

“well, we should definitely build more together sometime! i like your style,” he smiles happily. grian felt his face grow warm, wings fluttering happily. scar smiles widely at the reaction he’d gotten. he hums.

“can you fly?” he asks. grian lifts a curious eyebrow at how random the question was and how.. interesting, as well.

“yeah, of course i can.” he replies with a smile. scar grins.

“we should fly together sometime.” he nods. grian tilts his head.

“you can fly? are you magic?” he questions. scar giggles softly.

“not yet! i will be soon,” he hums. this made grian even more confused. “here—follow me. i’ll show you!” he smiles as he made his way back into his base. grian follows. inside was an armour stand with a full set of armour, though instead of a chestplate there was.. something else. “it’s called elytra! it can let anyone soar and fly, rockets help shoot us off!” he smiles over at grian. “you don’t need one, though—“ he moves to actually give grian’s wings a proper look. they were really pretty, actually…

“can i see them?” he asks. grian was curious, though he just nods and smiles as he stretches out his wings. scar gasps quietly, smiling happily. “oh, they’re so—“

“don’t touch them.” grian immediately spoke before falling silent. he’d immediately began to worry he’d upset scar, though the other just retracts his hand and smiles.

“sorry… they’re so pretty!” scar was once again marvelling over how absolutely breathtaking his wings were. grian smiles.

“thank you.. we’re not done growing yet! they’ll be much bigger when i’m older,” he grins, fluttering his wings quietly. scar smiles even more.

“and they’re already so pretty!” he claps. “you’re such a wonder, grian. i really adore you,” he spoke before immediately hopping around his base once again. “oooh— we should have a picnic!” he claps and turns to grian. the avian nods and smiles.

“yeah!” a picnic with scar would be really fun! especially if it was in his garden. which it was; scar had collected some snacks and a blanket that he’d lied out in the little flat area beside the flowers. he smiles sweetly, sitting on the picnic blanket. grian sits across from him. he watches as scar had lied out the snacks he had on the blanket, smiling widely.

“what should we build next?” scar was speaking. he hands an apple over to grian. he accepts it with a smile.

“um.. i dunno!” he smiles. he watches as scar retrieves something else from the picnic basket; a journal of his own. he flips through the pages as he hums, smiling and handing it over to grian. he accepts it and looks it over.

“maybe one of these? they’re just little things i’ve always wanted to build and never got around to doing,” he shrugs as he bites into his own apple. grian smiles at all of the little drawings.

“they’re all so nice,” he smiles. scar giggles.

“aw, thank you! you’re gonna make me blush,” he grins. grian giggles at him. he really liked scar.

“there’s a lot of trees,” he’d spoken. scar just giggles.

“i mean,” he points to his pointed ears. grian just grins. “tree elf,”

“yeah,” grian looks back down to the pages with a smile. scar hums in thought.

“maybe we could build something together—like, obviously we’ll build it together—b-but, take something that you like and something i like and combine them! that could be fun!” he suggests. grian listens to his words and nods. he smiles.

“yeah!” he nods in agreement. scar claps.

“great! so.. what do you like?” he looks at grian expectantly. grian had fallen silent with the question. he.. didn’t really know what he liked. he frowns a bit and looks down at the picnic blanket.

“uhm..” he mutters as he thought.

“here—don’t worry! we’ll figure something out.” scar smiles reassuringly. “we can do that one later! we’ll brainstorm!” grian just smiles once again, nodding. scar smiles more.

“we could build one of your trees together,” grian spoke, looking back down at the journal.

“yeah!” scar smiles. grian returns it. “we should build a village together,” he hums. “i’ve always wanted to build an elven village.” grian smiles as well. “that’s more larger scale, though—but we will do it one day!”

“yeah,” the picnic had continued on until sundown, which was maybe a half hour longer. grian had watched as the sun began to set, beginning to grow worried. he should be here by now.. he tries not to think about anything bad. he was just fine! he- probably just lost track of time! yeah! especially if he’s indoors, that’s easy to do!

“grian?” scar had spoken, poking his shoulder. grian blinks and hums, looking over as he had spaced out.

“oh.. hi,” he replies with a soft smile. scar giggles.

“hello there,” he grins back. “the sun is starting to go down,” he’d began. grian just frowns once more.

“i know,” he shifts and began to pick at his fingers. scar tilts his head.

“yeah! if xisuma takes any longer we might get to watch the stars!” he smiles. grian just stares at him. how was he always so positive? maybe grian was just too negative. he just smiles.

“yeah. stars.” he nods in agreement, looking away.

“i like the sunset. i like watching all the colours blend together and the reds and yellows—oh they’re so pretty!” scar was saying, though grian couldn’t concentrate. he fidgets as he watches the sun sink lower. maybe he should go and try and find him? but where would he be? there was no guarantee he was at his base. he just hugs his knees closer before sitting cross legged—he felt like he couldn’t get comfortable. he frowns when scar had noticed. “are you alright?” he asks softly, tilting his head quietly. grian just nods, eyes closing.

“yeah—“ he bit his lip. “i’m fine.”

“is it cause xisuma is a slow poke?” scar smiles, poking his cheek playfully as he attempts to make grian feel better. grian smiles lightly and nods. “hmm, well, he’ll be back soon! promise,” scar assures. “he wouldn’t just leave you. plus, he’s always wrapped up in some project! he even forgets to eat sometimes! he’s a derp,”

“i know..” grian sighs. “i just can’t help—feeling like this.” grian sighs and picks at his fingers, continuing to fidget anxiously.

“anxious?” scar frowns a bit. grian just shrugs and nods before shrugging again. scar nods. “i understand how that can feel.” he bites his lip before smiling. “but he’ll be back soon!” he tries to assure grian, wanting to help yet not sure if anything but xisuma being here would actually help. “here—wanna read about the stars with me?” grian just nods, nearly missing scar saying that he’ll be back before he’s alone. he draws his knees closer, resisting the urge to cry. at least with scar here he’s not completely alone. he buries his face into his knees and waits for scar to return.

he does quite soon, sitting back beside grian. he frowns a bit when he notices how withdrawn he’d seemed, softly patting his arm. “grian?” he spoke softly. grian sits up and offers a mostly forced smile.

“stars?” he spoke up, trying to change the subject.

“yeah!” scar smiles widely and opens the book, flipping through the pages before turning to one about constellations. grian listens to him read, though he doesn’t take in a word he says. he just hugs his knees close, shifting about and picking at his fingers—a bad habit he’d picked up.

it didn’t feel like long when grian had heard his name, immediately jumping up and running out of the garden. scar just giggles at him, grabbing the book and running after him. grian is quick to hug onto xisuma tight, melting against him and clinging close. “sorry for my tardiness,” xisuma had spoke with a chuckle, hugging grian back. he smiles at scar. “thank you for keeping him company,”

“of course!” scar smiles happily and nods. grian had hugged tighter onto xisuma before slowly letting go. he’d then noticed someone standing next to him, wings twitching.

“right. this is keralis,” xisuma introduces. grian glances back at scar when he’d heard a snicker, smiling upon seeing his friend’s grin. xisuma just narrows his eyes at scar, though he’d pushed the reaction aside. “ready to go? i have to start dinner, though it is quite late.”

“it’s okay if you wanna go home! we can watch the stars when you’re feeling more up for it,” scar had spoken up with a sweet smile. xisuma lifts his eyebrows.

“oh—would you like to tonight?” he’d questioned. “i still have to start dinner—i could come get you when it’s ready.” he smiles. grian thought quietly. he.. thinks he’d be okay now that he’d gotten to see him. he just smiles at scar before looking up at xisuma.

“i’ll stay tonight.” he smiles happily, smiling more at scar’s happy response of him clapping and bouncing.

“alright then! i’ll come get you when dinners ready.” xisuma smiles, chuckling when grian had once again hugged him. he smiles and returns it, hugging him close before letting go. “see you in a bit,” xisuma smiles, ruffling grian’s hair before humming when he’d slowly let go. grian watches quietly as xisuma walks away, glancing at the other man—keralis.

“yay!” scar laughs and claps happily. “oh i’m so glad we get to tonight!” he grabs grian’s hand and leads him back into the garden and to  the little clearing in which scar happily lies back in the soft grass. grian’s wings twitch before he lies back as well, staring up at the night sky, it slowly continuing to grow darker and darker and more stars becoming visible. grian glances over at scar, smiling lightly as he’d held the book above his face, reading. he looks back up.

“the big dipper isn’t a constellation?” scar gasps quietly from beside him. grian thought quietly to himself. he glances over to try and see the pages of the book, though he just looks back up at the sky as he couldn’t see. just watching the stars was fun and relaxing in itself, even if he had no idea what he was even looking for.

“so.. if we find the north star, we find ursa minor… the little bear,” scar bit his lip, looking from the book and up into the sky. he hums quietly to himself before looking back to the pages. “oooh.. cassiopeia should be even easier to find,” he’d spoken once again.

“why’s that?” grian questions quietly.

“because! it makes an ‘m,’” he looks up at the sky. “or a ‘w,’” he adds. grian bit his lip.

“are we looking north?” he asks. scar smiles and nods.

“yep!” he smiles happily over at grian. he lies the book on his chest and stares up at the sky, humming quietly to himself. grian does the same.

“could i see that book?” grian looks over. scar nods, a happy “mhmm!” escaping as he hands it over. grian smiles and accepts it, looking at the pages and the pictures shown, so he’d at least have some idea of what he was looking for.

looking back up at the night sky, a yawn escapes grian. nighttime made him tired. being this relaxed with the faint sound of the water in the fountain made it even more relaxing—though he couldn’t fall asleep. mostly because that’s rude, and second because he really was hungry and xisuma wasn’t here.

“there it is!” scar had spoken happily from beside him. grian looks up to where scar had pointed. “do you see it?” he smiles over at grian. searching the sky, grian lifts an eyebrow.

“which one?” he questions because, no, he just seen a lot of stars.

“the little dipper!” scar spoke, his hand dropping back down. grian narrows his eyes before beginning to smile.

“i think?” he smiles in the direction where scar had pointed.

“so that means…” things had fallen silent for a moment, scar searching overhead before grinning. “past the north star… the ‘m.’” scar smiles. grian smiles as well after a moment.

“i see it,” he spoke, and, hey! he found constellations! he smiles happily. scar claps, cheering before picking the book back up. he hums as he reads, smiling happily.

“this is fun! i like the stars,” he’d spoken after a moment, resting the book back onto his chest. grian smiles, staring up into the night sky. he felt relaxed. the night air was cool, the sky was pretty, and the fountain was relaxing. it was truly peaceful.

“me too.”

the smell of pork chops filled the room, xisuma humming lightly to himself. once they were settled to where they could just cook, he moved back to sit at the table. he exhales, looking at keralis.

“so.. grian?” he questions. xisuma nods.

“yeah,” he pushes the book he’d gotten from the library across the table, opened up to a certain page. he watches quietly as keralis read through it, biting his lip. “i’m sure he’s imprinted on me.”

“yeah, it’d seem so.” keralis looks back up from the book. “from what i’ve heard and what this says, they don’t usually tend to be… clingy.”

“yeah,” xisuma plays with his fingers quietly. “it’s not.. a bad thing. i’m just glad he’s safe. and—i still don’t even know how he got here. i can’t find his code.”

“oh,” keralis frowns. “you don’t think.. others.. could get in, right..?” he could see how that’s an issue. xisuma shakes his head.

“no—no, there’s nothing to worry about. i’m still looking into it. he has to have code somewhere.“ he closes his eyes. “i just… don’t want anybody to worry. i know he isn’t an issue, but if he got in, i don’t…”

“i’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, sheshwham,” keralis reaches over to softly pat his hand. xisuma nods and sighs softly.

“i know… i’m just thinking too much, is all.” he smiles softly. keralis nods.

“yeah,” he smiles gently. “don’t worry so much.” he looks back down to the book, skimming it quietly. “i could tell he was wary when he saw me,”

“yeah,” xisuma nods. “he also really doesn’t like doc.”

“oh.. well, i can see why if he’s never met him, him being so young.”

“he’s.. only seen him, and he has an irrational fear of him. i’m trying to figure out how to help him overcome it.”

“we could.. somehow show him he isn’t as scary as he seems?”

“of course, but how? he hates the idea of meeting him or being in his sights at all, and it’s so bad he’s having nightmares.” xisuma frowns worriedly.

“i’m sure we’ll figure something out.” keralis nods, squeezing his hand reassuringly. xisuma sighs.

“i hope so.” he smiles softly. keralis returns it.

“i know so.” 

“just.. with the project me and doc’s working on. grian doesn’t like when i’m around him.” xisuma stares down at the table.

“cause he’s afraid?” keralis looks back up to meet his gaze. xisuma chuckles lightly.

“he’s.. afraid he’ll try and hurt me.” he glances around the room, finding the bookshelf particular interesting at that specific moment. “i’ve told him that doc wouldn’t try knowing he wouldn’t stand a chance—and that we’re friends.”

“did that work?”

“it.. i dunno. i don’t know if it really assured him or not.” xisuma leans back, reading all of the titles of his books that he’d read more than once. “he’s still young. i think it’s just.. that, and the imprinting might not have helped?” he meets keralis’ gaze. “i don’t know if.. he’s had family before… that something happened to.” he kept his voice quiet as if they weren’t the only ones home. keralis frowns.

“has.. he shown any signs of that?”

“he doesn’t seem like he even remembers. he just- mentioned waking up in the forest and being there for a couple days before i found him injured.” he closes his eyes. “like the book title says: he really is a wonder.”

“avians are.. interesting as they are.” keralis had spoke. “i don’t know much about them, but i know they’re quite the being.” he taps his fingers lightly against the table. “used to be valuable, too.” xisuma glances up.

“valuable?” he watches his friend.

“yeah.” keralis frowns. “your book might say something about it.. but… they used to be traded.. something about their wings,” he shrugs. xisuma felt his heart hurt. he looks down at the book, beginning to flip through it, searching the pages. “i don’t think anything like that happens anymore, though. especially not around here.” he assures, sensing xisuma’s discomfort with the knowledge.

“you think.. anything like that happened with his parents?.” xisuma frowns, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“i doubt it—this happened too long ago.” he assures, shaking his head. “like—the 1940s or something. and even then—he would remember something so.. awful.” it was terrible. even if it didn’t happen to his parents, xisuma still really felt for just his species as a whole. he’d never known something so.. awful happened to them.

“i would hate for something to happen to him,” xisuma frowns. his server was a safe place—it and his hermits. he knew nobody here would ever do anything to hurt anyone. he just.. was attached.

he was definitely attached.

“nobody would ever hurt him,” keralis assures, shaking his head. xisuma nods.

“i know… i just..” he sighs. “look at me already being an overprotective parent.” he chuckles. keralis smiles.

“nothing wrong with that,” he watches xisuma for a moment before glancing back down to the book. xisuma stands after a bit longer, checking on the status of dinner. he smiles as it was nearing ready.

“i think i’m gonna go get him now—dinners almost ready.” he spoke. keralis nods, standing. xisuma smiles. “you’re more than welcome to stay,” he spoke. keralis smiles.

“i think i might, thank you.”

“oh no problem,” xisuma smiles sweetly before leading him back to scar’s base. he hums softly, making his way into the garden with a smile. “grian?” he calls, waiting patiently. he smiles when he sees grian running up to him, wings fluttering happily. he laughs softly when he’s hugged tight, hugging him back. “hi there,” he chuckles softly.

“hi,” grian responds quietly, hugging tighter onto xisuma. scar giggles softly behind him, smiling happily.

“ready for dinner?” he questions. grian smiles more, nodding.

“yeah—i’m really hungry.” he replies. xisuma smiles sweetly.

“good.” grian turns to scar with a smile, waving.

“bye,” he spoke, gasping when he’s suddenly hugged. he instinctively wants to push scar away—though he doesn’t. his wings twitch lightly, hugging scar back after a moment.

“bye!” scar spoke, hugging grian close before letting go. “thanks for watching the stars with me! we’ll have to do it again sometime!” he spoke before leaning in closer, voice lowered. “i heard there’s supposed to be a meteor shower sometime this week…” he grins. grian returns it.

“well then—looks like we’ll have plans.” he smiles happily. scar claps and jumps before smiling at xisuma, grinning as keralis was still here.

“bye!” he waves before running off, giggling happily. grian watches as he leaves before turning back to xisuma. he smiles. xisuma chuckles at him.

“i see you’ve gotten quite used to scar,” he spoke before beginning to head home.

“yeah! i really like him.” he nods with a smile. xisuma smiles.

“good. i like him too,” he nods. grian smiles as they walk home, standing on the other side of xisuma and remaining wary of keralis.  once they arrived back to xisuma’s base, they head inside. grian sits at the table, looking over when keralis sat across from him. his wings twitch lightly before he smiles when a plate is set down in front of him. he immediately begins to eat. “hungry?” xisuma chuckles softly, serving keralis as well before sitting himself. grian just nods, humming, mouth full. xisuma chuckles.

“this is really good,” keralis had spoken, making xisuma smile.

“why—thank you,” he replies with a chuckle. he then smiles at grian. “did you watch the stars with scar?”

“yeah! we found a couple constellations,” he replies after swallowing, wings fluttering lightly. keralis hums.

“i like finding constellations, too.” he smiles. grian looks at him, smiling back softly before looking down. xisuma chuckles before speaking.

“grian,” he spoke to get his attention. he hums lightly before glancing up. “when was the last time you cleaned your wings?” he asks. grian just looks down again.

“when i showered,” he replies quietly. xisuma tilts his head, continuing to eat.

“you should clean them again,” he spoke. grian’s wings twitch quietly and he just shrugs. he didn’t mention the fact that he couldn’t get them all—how embarrassing! he didn’t know why he had to bring it up while they had a guest… he hated the fact that he couldn’t even clean his wings efficiently.. though he wouldn’t mind if xisuma helped. he trusts him. “if you ever need help, let me know.”

xisuma remembers reading about how it’s important for their health to keep their wings cleaned. he also knew it could be difficult to do so—especially for young who don’t have parents to help. that’s where xisuma knew he came in.

grian doesn’t reply, he just nods.  he continues to eat quietly, enjoying dinner. he finished not long after, opening the journal up quietly. “what have you got there?” xisuma spoke with a smile. grian smiles at him happily.

“me and scar watched the stars and drew the constellations we found,” he replies, pushing the journal over so he could look.

“that’s really cool,” xisuma replies with a smile.

“you did a good job,” keralis had spoken. grian smiles, playing with his fingers quietly, wings fluttering at the compliment.

“thank you,” he looks back down to the journal with a smile. he really did like how well he did. he liked watching stars with scar and was excited to do it again.

after dinner grian had rested his journal onto the floor in front of the fire place before he’s led to the bathroom. he accepts the towel xisuma gave him, thanking him before closing the door to start his shower.

he washes his hair before huffing in debate—he wanted his wings wet but wasn’t sure about drying them.. yeah, xisuma could help.. he did trust him, after all. he smiles as he turns and flutters his wings under the water, humming happily. it always felt so nice—well, aside from them needing cleaned quite badly. maybe xisuma could help with that, too.

after a bit in the shower he shakes what water from his wings he can before he’s drying off and getting dressed. he dries out his hair before glancing back at his wings. he dries them the best he can on his own before hesitating, calling out xisuma’s name after a few moments.

“grian?” xisuma spoke softly as he knocks.

“you can come in,” grian spoke, taking a step back. he smiles and leans into xisuma when he’d entered the room and closed the door, hugging onto him. despite it being only about twenty minutes, he still missed him..

“are you alright?” xisuma questioned as he strokes a hand through his damp hair.

“yeah, but… could you help me with my wings?.” he asks quietly.

“of course,” xisuma smiles sweetly. grian smiles happily and slowly lets go of him before turning away.

“just!—p-please be careful.. they’re really sensitive,” he spoke quickly before he could touch him, handing him the towel after.

“of course,” xisuma spoke before gently reaching out with the towel and beginning to dry his wings. grian closes his eyes, chewing on his lip mindlessly as he did so. once both of them were dry, xisuma had spoke up. “need help cleaning them?”

“i..” grian frowns quietly, wings twitching. he felt so uncomfortable now that he’d actually mentioned it. he just nods quietly, glancing away.

“don’t worry, i’ll be careful.” xisuma places the towel to the side before delicately beginning to adjust feathers and remove things from his wings. grian found himself immediately begin to relax because—he’d only just started and he already began to feel so much better.

xisuma continues removing leaves and twigs from between feathers as well as fixing ones that were in off directions. he frowns when a few fell out, softly setting them to the side and continuing. grian’s wings continue to flutter happily as he continues, soft trills escaping him and making xisuma chuckle.

he moves on to the other wing once the first was finished, smiling as grian smiles more. he continues to help preen, setting down more feathers that had fallen out. “you need to do this more often,” he’d spoken softly.

“it’s difficult to get the back,” grian replies.

“i know, i’m here now. i can help,”

“.. thank you.” grian smiles happily.

xisuma had finished after a bit, softly stroking over the feathers. grian closes his eyes tight at that, wings twitching more. he turns back to face him, hugging onto him tight. “thank you so much.. i feel a lot better,” he admits quietly. xisuma smiles, hugging him back.

“anytime. it’s why i’m here,” he hugs him closer before softly letting go. grian makes his way into the other room, seeming happier overall. xisuma smiles happily at that, absolutely loving that he could help.

grian sits in front of the fireplace and opens his journal. xisuma smiles and sits back beside keralis. “sorry about that, i’m back now.”

“oh, no worries.” keralis returns the smile. “so.. there’s a new movie that came out… if it isn’t too late, we could watch it.” he smiles. xisuma returns it and nods.

“yeah!” he agrees. he turns the tv on before finding the new movie with a smile. he stands to turn off the lights as well as start a fire for grian before he’s sitting back beside keralis and starting the movie.

grian lies on his stomach as he draws, wings fluttering lightly behind him. he draws different types of trees he thought scar might like before drawing his own garden, if he ever got to build one. after he was satisfied with his last drawing, he closes his journal and rests his head onto his arms. he was fast asleep in no time.

this didn’t surprise xisuma much, especially with it being so late. he chuckles softly at him as he relaxes back into the couch with a hum, turning to watch the movie quietly. keralis remains sat beside him,  gaze focused on the tv screen.

after a moment xisuma had turned to grab the blanket off the back of the sofa, shifting to unfold it and cover himself up. he glances over at keralis who smiles and accepts some of the blanket as well, shifting to sit closer so sharing it would be a bit easier.

a soft sigh escapes the admin as his own eyes fall closed. the couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but it was warm and not too bad. he had fallen asleep to the background noise of the movie and the warmth of keralis by his side, feeling comfortable and quite at peace.

Chapter Text

maturity.

as avians age it is typical for them to wonder away from their flock, doing more of their own thing the older they get; however, flocks don’t usually disband with age, lasting until death. it’s not uncommon for them to go through a heat-like stage during puberty which typically lasts about a week. because they’re also human, they aren’t like birds in the sense in which they would try and find a mate; though it probably wouldn’t be uncommon for them to do so in a close friend. like some birds, they may use their wings to try and impress a love interest, fluffing up their feathers and doing extra preening to make them look even more beautiful.

their wings tend to need extra care as they age, as they will grow as they do and become much more larger and vibrant—definitely something to take pride in. longer preening sessions are typical, spending more time in making sure they are how they should be. they may also go through growing pains which can affect flying, which makes those much needed preening sessions more difficult as the wing is more sensitive. it can especially be more difficult if they have a helping hand, tending to not want the contact; along with avians being skittish in nature, sometimes caution is taken with such a sensitive place even with those they trust most. 

grian had woken and immediately noticed the absence of xisuma by his side. he shifts and yawns, rubbing his face before looking to see xisuma alone, sleeping on the sofa. he stands and makes his way over, lying next to him and curling close. he smiles as he snuggles in and closes his eyes to continue sleeping, almost immediately beginning to drift off into a comfortable sleep.

“mm.. good morning,” xisuma had spoken with a yawn as he woke, effectively waking grian as well. he furrows his brows and buries his face further into him, still quite tired. xisuma just chuckles at this, stroking a soft hand through his hair before gently shifting to stand up. grian frowns when he leaves, curling up into himself with a sleepy pout.

it wasn’t long before a pleasant smell filled grian’s senses. he shifts to sit up, glancing into the kitchen to watch as xisuma prepared breakfast. rubbing at his eyes sleepily, he makes his way into the dining room to sit and wait. he rests his head onto his hands, eyes closing as he threatens to fall back asleep. maybe he could have stayed on the sofa but he really thought sitting at the table would help him to wake up, though to no avail.

“wakey wakey,” he’d heard xisuma. he just furrows his brows and lifts his head. “you’re quite tired this morning, aren’t you?” he chuckles. grian just nods, frowning. “hungry, at least?” xisuma places a plate in front of him, the smell of the biscuits and bacon immediately filling his senses. he exhales and begins to eat because, yeah, he was at least hungry. xisuma chuckles at him, sitting in his usual spot to eat as well.

breakfast began quietly, the two eating in a comfortable silence. xisuma spoke up after a moment. “what have you got planned with scar today?” he questions with a smile. grian just ate in silence. he shrugs. xisuma hums softly. “nothing at all?” he ate his own breakfast. grian only shrugs again. xisuma chuckles and grins. “so are you planning on hanging with me and doc today?”

“no.” grian finally spoke, wings twitching. he felt bad about not liking doc, but… it wasn’t like it was with keralis. plus.. he guessed xisuma didn’t seem too upset by it. the admin chuckles. “i want to fly with scar,” he spoke up again after a moment. he remembers scar mentioning flying and he’d like to go at some point now that he knew scar could fly. he wasn’t sure if he’d even be up for it today, but he could at least hope. though, xisuma wasn’t sure how much he liked the idea.

“grian.. i think there’s something you should know about scar.” xisuma spoke, watching him quietly. grian glances up, a hand coming up to his mouth to stifle a yawn. “he’s.. how do i put this—very accident prone.” he taps his fork against his plate quietly. grian furrows his brows.

“do you mind if i go?” grian asks. he wouldn’t want xisuma upset or to worry too much.. plus, it’s not like he’d be able to stand it very long away from him, anyways.

“of course i don’t. i just.. want you two to be careful, okay?” he meets his gaze. grian just smiles.

“we will.” he continues to eat, suddenly quite awake and excited at the idea of getting to fly again. he hadn’t flown in quite some time and just the thought of the freedom and wind through his hair and feathers—oh he couldn’t wait!

xisuma however, was quite worried. yeah, scar would just die and respawn.

but his code was also enlisted in the server. grian’s wasn’t.

he ate in silence, unable to stop his mind from thinking the worst possible things. he didn’t know what he would do if he lost grian… he obviously didn’t want to think that far ahead—he never wanted to think that far ahead.

not eating all of his breakfast that morning, xisuma stood earlier than usual to begin washing up. grian finished up a bit afterwards, standing and handing xisuma his plate. he smiles when he’s pulled into a close hug, happily hugging back onto him.

“grian.. please promise me you’ll be careful.” he spoke. grian just hugs onto him tightly, nuzzling closer.

“of course!” he smiles. “i’m a good flyer.” he grins up at xisuma. though, he doesn’t return the playful smile.

“i really am serious, grian. please promise me you’ll be careful.”

“i will be.” grian replies after a moment, realising xisuma seemed quite worried. he just hugs onto him tightly, eyes falling close. clinging onto him in silence, he didn’t seem intent on letting go anytime soon. his wings flutter happily as he hugs him and nuzzles closer. 

xisuma held him close before he lets go after a moment, grian smiling and letting go, too. “ready to go see scar?” he offers a smile, though it felt forced. something just… didn’t feel right. grian, however, just smiles happily and nods.

“yep!” he turns to retrieve his journal before he’s smiling and following xisuma out of the base. grian smiles as he walks—oh he really couldn’t wait to fly! and having scar by his side would be even more fun! his smile grows as they near scar’s base.

“grian!” scar greets with a happy smile. grian returns it.

“scar,” he greets, the two breaking down into giggles after. xisuma just stares at him. he almost wanted to tell him not to go. almost wanted to tell him flying was off limits—especially if he wasn’t there to make sure he stayed safe.

but he didn’t. he felt like he didn’t have the right to take away grian’s freedom. he had the right to go out and fly anytime he wanted to—he wasn’t his parent. he wasn’t his father who could forbid him out of fear.

he hated that he couldn’t push the dread out of his stomach. he felt.. not good. something about this just didn’t feel right and he couldn’t get his mind off it. yeah, he trusted scar—but accidents happen, especially with the elf. and he didn’t know what he would ever do if something happened to grian—because he was almost for sure he wouldn’t respawn—couldn’t respawn.

xisuma blinks, coming back to reality when he’s hugged by grian. he immediately returns it, hugging the avian close. “i’ll be okay,” grian’s voice was soft, promising xisuma something that was out of his control. though, he definitely would try his best. he was really good at flying! he’d be perfectly fine, he was for sure xisuma had no reason to worry. the admin only nods. grian smiles before slowly letting go. xisuma looks at scar afterwards.

“scar, if you two go out flying today, just—promise me that no matter what, you make sure grian gets home safe.” he spoke, voice stern. he’d never used such a serious tone with the boy but right now he felt it was needed. scar just smiles happily and nods.

“of course!” he smiles at grian afterwards who returns it.

“i’ll see you later,” grian smiles up at him, clinging onto him once more. xisuma hugs him back.

“i’ll see you later.” he replies, hoping that was a promise. he slowly let go and he watches grian and scar run into his base. he always hated the awful feeling of dread—especially when it came to grian.

grian giggles as he runs after scar, following him to the room from before. he watches as he pulls on the—elytra, he’d called it—strapping himself in. he grins happily at grian. “are you ready?” he smiles. grian nods.

“i’ve never been so ready,” his wings flutter behind himself. scar smiles at them before grabbing onto grian’s hand and leading him out of the room after grabbing some fireworks.

“i like to go up to the roof and blast off!” he smiles behind himself at grian. the avian nods.

“okay,” he smiles.

“okay, on the count of three! one… two…” scar counts before gasping when grian was suddenly off in a puff of feathers. he began to giggle before jumping and setting off a firework, flying out after him.

grian smiles happily as he flies, laughing softly. he hums happily at the wind flowing through his hair and feathers, his smile growing. scar flies up beside him, waving. he admires his wings, smiling happily at them. they were so beautiful as he flew… he felt like he could stare at them all day.

grian flies high before dipping downwards, giggling happily. he spins in the air and stretches out his wings, smiling widely. he loved flying. it was his absolute favourite thing to do. he loved feeling free and it just—it was exhilarating.

the scenery passes below the two, different biomes blending together beautifully. grian didn’t want to go too far out, but he figured they’d be okay and that scar knew the way back. he had to. he smiles as he looks up at scar, his smile growing when meeting his gaze. “i love flying!” grian had spoke. scar smiles more.

“me too!” he smiles happily at him before looking forwards again so he could watch where he was going. he absolutely loved grian’s wings; they were so so much prettier when he was flying! he liked them a lot—grian really was such a wonder, in the best way possible.

the two flew together for a bit before grian gasps. he flies in his spot for a moment, his smile growing. “snow!” he smiles happily over at scar who flew around him, unable to fly in one spot with the elytra.

“yeah!” he smiles happily before making his way towards the ground. grian smiles and flies down with him, landing in the snow. he smiles more, holding out his hands and smiling at the snowflakes that landed in his palms. “have you seen snow before?” scar steps up beside him.

“no but i’ve heard of it,” grian smiles at scar. he looks around the biome, finding the snowy taiga beautiful. his smile widens. he liked snow. 

“this is one of my favourite biomes,” scar spoke, humming happily. he began to tread through the snow, his smile growing.

“it’s so pretty here.. and relaxing.” grian smiles over at scar before beginning to follow him.

“it is,” scar nods before suddenly turning towards grian. he gasps when he throws a snowball at him, giggling madly. “gotcha!”

“scar—!” grian began to laugh, smiling happily. he leans down to scoop some snow up himself, throwing it back at scar with a laugh. “got you!” he smiles happily. it continued like that, the two throwing snowballs at each other and laughing. he smiles happily, enjoying the snowball fight. he gasps when scar had ran away from him, grinning and running after him. “get back here!” he shouts with a wide smile.

“oooh!” he hears from scar in front of him, lifting his eyebrows and making his way closer. he smiles when the trees had ended, the ground turning to ice afterwards. he smiles. “ice!” scar giggles and grins back at grian. “you know how to ice skate?”

“no,” grian shakes his head though he steps closer. scar giggles and grabs his hand.

“don’t fall!” he spoke as he steps onto the ice and pulls grian along with him. he just nods before his grip tightens on his hand at the slickness underneath his feet. “i’ve got you,” scar smiles sweetly before he began to slide. grian holds tighter onto him before beginning to laugh. the ice was slick enough that the two slid across easily. “it’s even more fun with boats!” scar was saying with a giggle. grian giggles with him, holding onto his hand tight.

“watch out!” grian had spoken at the little gaps in the ice. scar smiles and continues skating.

“i know!” he skilfully avoids them, skating around each one. grian smiles even more, continuing to giggle madly. he was still wobbly, though he had gotten used to the slippery ice under his feet. he grips tighter onto his hand and tries to skate beside him rather than being pulled. scar notices and smiles back at him, turning to grab both of his hands. he pulls him with a giggle, turning so they had spun a few times. grian laughs more, grip tight on his hands. scar grins and spins more before letting go.

grian had immediately tried to grab onto scar again, subtle panic twisting in his chest as he tries to keep his balance. scar just smiles sweetly at him, backing up a little. “come here,” he spoke, wanting grian to try and skate himself. he definitely tries, making an attempt at moving his feet like scar had done, though he hadn’t gotten far. his wings twitch in dismay as he couldn’t do it like him, his feet slipping underneath him.

scar just smiles sweetly and quickly makes his way closer to catch him before he could fall, softly grabbing grian’s hands once again. “here—like this,” he spoke with a smile. “don’t lock your knees, keep them kinda bent. kick off with one foot,” he spoke as he does so, letting go of grian after so he could do the same. he attempts it, his smile growing as he almost got it. “yeah! like that,” he smiles sweetly and does it again with the opposite foot. grian tries to as well, laughing as he’d got it. a shiver ran through his body from the cold as it slowly started to get to him and he slowly makes his way closer to scar.

the elf giggles happily and grabs onto grian’s hands once again, beginning to skate. grian smiles and watches scar’s feet and trying to mimic how he does it, smiling as he came close to having it. scar turns to skate backwards, holding grian’s hand and leading him. he grins as he spins them a couple times, watching grian happily. he meets his gaze and grins as he lets go to spin grian himself, laughing at the little gasp he’d let out.

once he faced him again he grabs his hand once more before beginning to skate again. grian follows him, smiling happily. he tried to skate beside him more, it helping so scar wasn’t just pulling him. he smiles happily and continues to laugh.

he had soon began trying to stop, grian smiling as he knew he’d be able to help. expanding out his wings, grian smiles as they slide to a stop much quicker. scar smiles widely as well, squeezing his hand softly before he’d let go. “that was fun!”

“it was!” grian agrees with a wide smile. “but now i’m cold,” he giggles. and he was safe! just as he’d promised xisuma. he told him he had nothing to worry about! he was quite proud, and he had a fun time with scar!

the two tense when hearing a light cracking sound, quickly realising it was coming from beneath them. grian swallows and looks up to meet scar’s gaze. he offers a reassuring smile. “grian..”

“scar..” grian looks at him, voice wobbly.

“hey hey, don’t worry. ready to fly?” scar smiles. grian nods. “okay—on the count of three. one,” the cracking continues, and grian looks down.

“two,”

“scar, can’t we just—“

“three!”

it all happened at once, grian gasping as the ice had suddenly broke through.

“scar!“ grian cries out before he’s falling into the icy cold waters below.

“grian!” scar spoke before quickly closing his mouth so he didn’t drown. he tries to swim towards grian, help him back onto the ice and out of the water, something, anything so he didn’t die. he didn’t care what happened to himself as long as grian was okay.

grian tries desperately to get to the surface, though one thing he couldn’t do was swim. using his wings in attempt to get himself upwards, grian felt himself growing colder. he tries to find scar, tries to find the surface, though it seemed too far away. he felt the lack of oxygen getting to him, limbs becoming more numb and difficult to move. he tries to find scar, though he could no longer feel his body, muscles attempting to move yet to no avail, everything so numb he wasn’t even sure if he was actually moving.

scar continues trying to find grian or the surface. he gasps for air once he’s past the water, immediately beginning to look downwards for grian. he shivers violently, the cold quickly getting to him. he wasn’t important. it was important grian was okay and safe. he continues trying to find him underneath the ice and in the water, gasping when he finally had him in his sights. he jumps back into the icy cold water without second thought, continuing to push through for grian.

he swims downwards, eyebrows furrowed and limbs completely numb. movement was difficult and holding his breath anymore became impossible.

scar always hated dying, and he especially hated drowning. he hated the after affects of it, feeling like he couldn’t get enough oxygen and always feeling the water in his lungs even though there was none there. the water filling his lungs was uncomfortable, especially with it being icy.

he shivers violently, fingers just barely brushing against grian. he tries to grab onto him, tries desperately to get him up to the surface. everything was numb. he felt his vision going blurry, movement just consisting of twitches now. he got grian up half way before everything had slipped away, fading to black.

>goodtimewithscar drowned.

Chapter Text

flocks.

avians tend to stay in flocks rather than alone. flocks are the group in which avians call family and home. an avian’s flock usually consists of close family and relatives, though if immediate family is absent then it’s not uncommon for them to call close ones their flock. this is important due to the level of trust and the bond which flocks hold with one another, trust being a big deal when it comes to avians. being away from their flock for extended periods of time could lead to anxiety, though it’s different than being away from those they have imprinted on. 

everything was dark. it wasn’t cold anymore; it wasn’t—anything. grian wasn’t even sure if he existed for a moment before he saw it.

the light had nearly blinded him, his eyes quickly closing. though, he squints them open, trying to see past the white, wanting to know. where was he? where was scar?

suddenly, he saw them. they were like him, one with wings and the other just a normal human, he’d thought. who were they? it was familiar. the feeling in his chest was familiar. he’d seen them before—he knew them. where were they? wh.. who were they..?

just like that, they began to fade. he cries out to them, reaching out as best he could as he tries desperately to get closer. who are they??

then, he’s cold again. shivers wreck his body as he coughs and sputters, coughing up the water from his lungs. he doesn’t open his eyes. he just curls into the warmth that was someone—after a moment he recognised the scent as xisuma. he clings on for dear life, never wanting to let go, never wanting to be away from him for even a second…

xisuma smiles happily as the machine had worked. “yes!” doc exclaims in excitement, a wide smile on his face.

“i’m so—it worked!” xisuma laughs happily with a smile. doc nods.

“i’m really glad—i wasn’t for sure if that’s how you even do that,” doc was laughing. he grins. xisuma nods.

“i know, i—“ xisuma lifts an eyebrow once he’s interrupted with a ping.

“what’s that?” doc glances over curiously.

“it’s.. a death message. i changed my comms to where those have a different ping.” xisuma spoke before looking down. he tenses, his happy expression immediately falling.

oh no…

“you can do that? you’ll have to show me how,” doc is smiling before frowning, noticing xisuma’s expression. “x?”

“i-i have to go,” xisuma quickly pockets his comms before he’s pulling his elytra from his inventory and quickly strapping it on with trembling fingers. he had to get to grian.

“what’s wrong?” doc follows him up the stairs.

“i have to go, i’m sorry it’s so sudden.” he had to get to grian.

“hey.. no worries,” doc follows him out of his base, taking time to strap his own elytra on. “do you need assistance?”

“i—you can come if you want.” xisuma looks at him with furrowed brows, replying in a hurry before he’s taking off towards scar’s base. he enters and makes his way to his bed, frowning when he’d seen scar wasn’t there.

“xisuma,” he turns when hearing his name, turning to see scar.

“what happened?” xisuma questions him. he wasn’t particularly happy with him but he had to keep calm—raising his voice wouldn’t help. it would make things worse and a lot more stressful, and none of them needed that right now. he’d never raised his voice at anybody, especially the younger ones like scar or mumbo. he couldn’t do that—he couldn’t yell at anyone, that’s just not how he handles things. it has to be handled with kindness and a good heart. that’s how it’s made clear he has good intentions.

“i-i’m so sorry.. we have to h-hurry,” scar spoke, visibly shivering—after affects of death, maybe? he straps on his extra elytra with shaking fingers before heading out. he shoots off and xisuma and doc follow close behind. it soon became quite clear why scar seemed so cold—definitely after affects of dying in the icy cold water of the frozen ocean where he must have drowned.

dread immediately filled his stomach. grian.. the only reason he wasn’t panicking was the lack of death messages. but then again.. would a death message even pop up for grian?. xisuma follows scar down and onto the ice. “b-be careful.. it might break more,” scar spoke, exhaling shakily and continuing to shiver. “i don’t.. don’t think he can swim,” he mutters before he quickly spots him. “there,” he spoke when he’d spotted him, pointing out.

“scar—“

xisuma is surprised to see doc quickly pull off his coat and push it into his hands before diving into the icy waters. he bites his lip hard and waits patiently. he would be down sick—but a sick doc would be so so much better than.. grian not here anymore.

the next few moments were tense, everything silent. xisuma glances over to scar, frowning before looking back to the water when doc had broke the surface, grian in his arms. xisuma is quick to grab onto doc’s arm and help him out of the water. he kneels onto the ice and settles grian down, frowning.

xisuma is quick to drop down next to grian, immediately reaching up for his helmet. doc stops him.

“you know you can’t breath oxygen,” he spoke. xisuma looks up at him, gaze desperate.

“i don’t care.” he shakes his head. doc copies the action.

“i’ve got him—i know how,” he spoke. xisuma just stares down at grian before nodding. doc was quick to lean down and begin, holding grian’s nose as he breathes air back into his lungs, taking time to help pump the water from his chest. xisuma felt the tears well up as he continues with no response—but he had to be okay. he had to be—his body was still here! could.. no. no, he’s fine. he’s okay.

it took a moment, but grian was quick to sit up and begin coughing up the water. he takes in shaky exhales as he leans to the side to throw most of the water up back into the ocean. he lies back down after, coughing and shivering.

“here,” xisuma spoke softly as he wraps doc’s coat around grian and pulls him into his own warm arms, being careful of his wings. he hugs him close, being quick to check for his pulse. it was weak, but thankfully still there. he quickly grabs his rockets and is immediately shooting off to get home.

“i-i’m s.. so sorry..” grian is speaking, though all he could do now was mutter, voice wrecked from the cold. xisuma frowns down at him, shooting off another rocket to go faster.

“no, no apologies.. i’m so glad you’re okay,” he spoke softly, hugging him closer. grian just clings closer into xisuma, continuing to shiver violently, small whimpers escaping. his grip on him was weak, face buried into his chest as he attempts to get closer.

once home, xisuma lands and immediately brings grian inside. he carries him into the bedroom, softly rubbing his back. “here,” he rests grian in bed. he whimpers at the loss of the warmth of xisuma against him. “come on, let’s get your pyjamas on.” he spoke softly, knowing it was important to get him out of the freezing wet clothes as soon as possible. grian shook his head in protest, being too cold to move. he doesn’t fight against xisuma though as he’s peeling off the wet clothes and replacing them with his dry pyjamas before covering him up with the blankets.

grian curls into the warmth of the blankets, continuing to shiver. xisuma turns on the heated blanket before sitting back onto the bed. “i-it’s cold..” grian sniffles, shifting to curl up against xisuma. the admin frowns and strokes a soft hand through his damp hair, it being mostly dry from the flight.

“can i dry your wings?” he asks softly. after a moment of trying to comprehend the words, grian nods. xisuma goes to stand before chuckling when grian just curls closer. he smiles when scar and doc enter the room after a moment, doc leaving and coming back with a towel. xisuma accepts it before shifting to begin gently drying his wings.

grian just closes his eyes, curling in on himself. his wings twitch as they’re touched before curling in against him once they’re dryish to help keep the warmth. he looks up and shifts to curl back into xisuma. he was warm… xisuma was always warm and comfy and safe.. “i’m sorry,” grian spoke up after a moment, sniffling. xisuma frowns and continues stroking a soft hand through his hair.

“what for?” he questions. their voices remain quiet. grian didn’t respond for a moment.

“not.. being careful enough..” he mutters, hugging closer onto xisuma and burying his face into him, tears falling. xisuma only hugs him closer.

“you’re alive—that’s all i care about.” he replies, hugging him. after a moment scar walks over, blanket hugged around his shoulders. “you’ve got visitors,” xisuma spoke gently with a smile. grian looks up and smiles weakly at scar.

“hey!” scar smiles sweetly at him, still shivering.

“h-hi,” he replies, arm wrapping around xisuma quietly as he rests his head.

“we should fly together again sometime! just.. maybe not go ice skating for a while,” he glances away, though he still continues to smile. grian nods.

“yeah.. i still had fun,” he smiles up at him. scar meets his gaze and returns it.

“i’m glad! how do you feel?” he keeps the blanket around his shoulders, still shivering. he knew he would be really cold for a while—after affects suck.

“cold..” grian smiles softly. scar nods.

“me too, but.. that’s only because i died,” he laughs softly. “after affects of death aren’t fun!”

“i’m sorry,” grian frowns, looking down.

“what for?” scar tilts his head. “you did nothing wrong!” he reaches out to softly pat his arm. “it was a scary situation in itself.” he smiles reassuringly. “we’re both okay and that’s what matters. i’ll just be cold for a while,” he giggles softly. grian smiles. “i’m going to head home but i’ll see you tomorrow! get some rest,” he smiles as he leans down and hugs grian, waving after. “bye!” he spoke before making his way out of the room.

“see you later, scar. thank you so much,” xisuma spoke. scar nods before he’s gone. xisuma chuckles and smiles back down at grian. grian shifts quietly, curling closer into xisuma before tensing, feathers immediately starting to rise. xisuma just chuckles as grian had finally noticed doc. he looks up and waves him over.

grian tries to back away, though xisuma just hugs him close. “grian,” he spoke softly. grian just shook his head, eyes closing tight as he hides his face, wings fluffed up. xisuma chuckles and smiles up at doc. “thank you again.” he spoke.

“of course,” doc smiles before looking down at grian. “is he.. alright?”

“he will be,” xisuma strokes a soft hand through his hair. he chuckles. “he’s just.. skittish.”

“around new people?” doc lifts an eyebrow. xisuma hums in thought.

“.. more or less,” he exhales. “and a lot around you.”

“me?” doc chuckles. xisuma smiles.

“yeah,” xisuma figured he’d talk to him about it later. he just keeps grian close, softly rubbing his back. “i thought i should introduce him to you,” doc just smiles and steps closer, though grian kept his eyes closed, refusing to open them. xisuma just smiles softly, glancing up at doc. “he’s.. not usually like this around other people. afraid,”

“well.. all i know is avians don’t tend to be.. affectionate...” he studies how grian stays huddled close to xisuma. “.. unless he’s imprinted on you?”

“he’s definitely imprinted on me.” xisuma chuckles softly with a smile. “he’s quite sweet, he is. he’s just…. intimidated.” he spoke. the silence lasted for a few moments.

“ohh,” doc nods. “i suppose i can see why,” he chuckles. xisuma nods and hugs grian closer.

“yeah,” he smiles at doc. “no hard feelings, of course.”

“not at all. he is quite young,” he nods. xisuma just nods, continuing to softly stroke grian’s hair. the avian just remains silent, eyes closed and feathers remaining puffed up. xisuma chuckles. he hums and looks down at him.

“can you at least look at me?” he smiles. grian’s wings twitch as he shakes his head. xisuma just smiles and lifts an eyebrow. “can i tell you my favourite thing about doc then?” he continues. again, grian shakes his head. xisuma laughs softly. “i’m going to anyways.” he hums, grinning. doc just leans back against the wall, watching the two curiously, arms crossed over his chest. “my favourite thing about doc is how he saved your life today.”

this made grian look up a little, meeting xisuma’s gaze. “it’s true,” xisuma hums. “you wouldn’t have come out of that water alive if doc hadn’t jumped in to save you,” he spoke softly. grian just frowns. did he really..? why? he didn’t even know him! why would he potentially risk his life for him? he glances at doc before looking back to xisuma. his wings twitch once more.

xisuma remembers reading about wing language, so he keeps an eye on them. mostly because grian wasn’t communicating at all—his wings were his next best option to know how he felt about the situation. he just smiles sweetly, it growing as he noticed grian’s feathers slowly beginning to smooth down from being puffed up.

maybe.. maybe xisuma was right…. maybe doc really wasn’t scary at all.. xisuma would know—even scar said he was nice! they definitely wouldn’t lie to him. and if they would—what was the benefit? there was none. there was no reason to lie about it. no reason to tell grian he was nice if he wasn’t. especially if they cared and didn’t want him hurt, which he was a thousand percent of. he’s sure they’d already have him hurt if they ever wanted that for him. they were too nice and they cared too much about him—he was for sure of it.

eyes closing, his wings twitch before he forces himself to look at doc. maybe.. maybe he wasn’t that scary… okay, he kind of was—but he was nice! he was on his side, surely that’s good! he’d rather the scary man be on his side than not…

“thank you,” he spoke after a moment, playing with his fingers quietly. doc just smiles at him.

“of course.” doc responds. “heard you mean a lot to xisuma,” he spoke before getting a look from said admin. he chuckles. “not that i would ever let anyone drown,” he smiles. grian just nods before sinking back into xisuma, his wings fluttering. he—he felt so proud of himself! he hides his grin as he felt accomplished—he was so brave. he’d have to tell scar all about it!

“thank you again, doc. i really can’t thank you enough for helping him,” xisuma spoke. doc just nods.

“anytime, man. i wouldn’t want him hurt.” doc smiles before moving to retrieve his coat.

“sorry uh.. about that.” xisuma chuckles. doc just laughs with him.

“no worries, it’ll dry.” he hums before smiling at grian. “you get rest. and stay warm,” he spoke to him. grian’s wings flutter as he nods, glancing up at doc and watching as he waves and leaves. he buries his face back into xisuma, hugging closer into him.

xisuma smiles and waves at doc before looking down to grian. “see?” he spoke softly. “nothing at all to be afraid of,” grian just nods along to his words, yawning and snuggling closer. he still shivers lightly and keeps the blankets around him as well as staying close into the warmth of xisuma, though he was mostly warm. “do you feel alright?” he asks, watching him closely. he’d never been this silent.. it almost worried him, though he tries his best to assure himself he was just quiet because doc was here and that it was nothing. grian just nods, his eyes falling close. “you’re just quiet,” xisuma frowns a bit and strokes a soft hand against the feathers of his wing. it twitches.

“i’m okay.. just tired,” grian had spoken up. xisuma only nods.

“okay.. are you hungry? i’ll go start dinner,” he continues softly petting his wing. grian only shakes his head, though he nods after a moment. xisuma chuckles. “alright, you rest while i prepare dinner, okay?” he looks at him. grian just frowns and nods, shifting to hug onto him tighter and rest his head against him, clearly not wanting him to leave. xisuma just brings his hand up to ruffle his hair before shifting to stand. grian curls up, burying his face into the pillow and hugging the blankets around himself. “i’ll be back, don’t you worry.” xisuma smiles before he’s leaving the room.

grian sniffles quietly as xisuma and his warmth had left. he curls up tighter, shifting to pull the blankets closer and over his wings so they’d get warm, too. he yawns and, once he felt at least a little warm again, he was quick to pass out and fall into a deep sleep.

xisuma prepares dinner fairly quickly, putting together some sandwiches and fruits. he set the table before making his way back to the bedroom to retrieve his avian. he was asleep, as xisuma had figured, looking peaceful as ever. a soft smile crosses his face as he studies him. it had been an interesting past few days with him, but xisuma had really grown to having him around. he knew scar did, too.

he’d never gotten attached this quickly, he almost found it odd how he’d grown accustomed to fixing extra dinner for grian, keeping him safe, allowing him to sleep with him… he was never really a people person, usually preferring to stick to himself—despite being the admin—but.. he found he really liked having grian around. he wouldn’t ask for it to be any other way and he really was glad he saved him that night.

making his way to beside the bed, he sits onto the edge. he smiles at grian, watching him sleep for a moment before reaching out to rub his arm softly. “hey, time for dinner.” he spoke, softly shaking his arm. he waits a few moments before shaking him again. “grian? come on, time to wake up.” he strokes a gentle hand through his hair, tilting his head. he furrows his brows when he’d still gotten no response. “grian,” xisuma shifts to lean over and shake him.

it was then when grian had finally begun to wake, eyebrows furrowing as a quiet whimper left his throat. “oh, you scared me..” xisuma breathes as he softly pats his arm. “come on now, dinner’s ready.” he watches him, frowning when he’d shook his head in response, though he wasn’t surprised as he was shivering. he’s probably still cold. “aren’t you hungry?”

“tired..” grian mutters, shifting quietly. he glances around before moving to stretch out his limbs, curling back up after. he flutters his wings as well, burying his face into the pillow.

“you can sleep after, alright?” xisuma continues stroking his hair. “come get food now.” he stands and waits for grian to move to do the same. the avian just curls up further, though, wings fluttering lightly behind him, though they lied against the bed other than that. xisuma just thinks quietly before making his decision. he leaves the room and grabs grian’s plate, returning after a few moments. he sits beside him on the bed before reaching down to pat his arm once more.

“up you go,” he spoke softly, shaking him more. grian just furrows his brows, though he shifts to sit up, realising he isn’t going to get much more rest until he eats. “do you feel alright?” xisuma questions as he watches him. grian just nods, reaching out to grab the sandwich. he eats quietly. xisuma nods and leans back, watching as he ate, glad he’d gotten him up.

eating all of the sandwich and the fruits as well, grian quietly leans against xisuma. the admin sets the plate aside before wrapping his arms around grian in a hug, drawing him closer. “wanna go back to sleep?” he asks softly. sniffling, grian nods, not hesitating to shift and lie back down, snuggling up to xisuma. he pets a hand through his hair, frowning a bit. he was quite worried.. he’d never seen him act this way. maybe the cold had made him sick? it was definitely possible.

it wasn’t long before grian was out, fast asleep curled into xisuma. the admin exhales softly before shifting to carefully stand. he gets ready for bed, crawling in beside grian afterwards. he looks over at him, watching as he slept. he strokes a soft hand through his hair before turning out the light and settling back in. he closes his eyes after a yawn, it not being long before he was out as well.

xisuma is awoken by a knocking on the door. furrowing his brows and wondering who that could be at this hour, he looks over to grian. he smiles upon seeing he was still asleep and not awoken by the knocking as well, knowing he very much needed rest. he shifts to stand after a moment, carefully pulling himself from grian’s arms before making his way to the door.

“hello?” he spoke upon opening it.

“x!” scar smiles happily up at him. xisuma, however, felt like he forced a smile.

“scar. what.. are you doing here this late?” he questions.

“oh! i uh—know it’s late,” the elf laughs a bit. “i was hoping grian was able to watch the stars with me! i heard we’d be able to see a few shooting stars!” he smiles excitedly up at xisuma. the admin just watches him.

“oh.. well, grian isn’t feeling the best right now. he’s also asleep,” he spoke. he wasn’t going to be rude with him—he wasn’t rude with anybody—but he wasn’t about to let grian go out feeling like he was. especially not with scar.

“oh.. is he sick?” scar frowns. he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty.. he tried so so hard, he never meant for him to..

“yes, he is.” xisuma couldn’t help it. today was too close. what if they got there too late? what if grian had already despawned and wouldn’t come back?

he didn’t want to think about it.

“you should get some rest too, scar. it’s quite late,” he spoke. scar just smiles softly and nods.

“i can try,” he smiles up at him. “tell grian i said hi and i’ll see him tomorrow!”

“sure thing.” xisuma waves at scar before closing the door.

he hated it. he hated acting like.. an overprotective father. he wasn’t grian’s dad—he couldn’t just.. tell him he can’t do something if he wants to do it!

xisuma felt stressed. he sighs and makes his way back to the bedroom with a frown. he watches grian sleep, exhaling softly. he really needs to figure out how to get grian’s code enlisted. maybe there’s books on it? he almost doubted it, but.. maybe he’s overthinking. maybe he’s just..

overthinking.

maybe he just needs to think about it with a not stressed mind and over some tea. everything would be okay. it always was. xisuma was always sure of it.

Chapter Text

xisuma didn’t get to sleep the best that night, his mind racing into the early hours of the morning. he’d eventually been able to doze off, sleeping somewhat peaceful.

he didn’t get up as early as he’d hoped, missing the sunrise but that was okay. he patiently waits for the tea to get done as he flips through his book about avians. he’d learned a lot about them so far, and stuff he had even noticed about grian, too. it was definitely interesting and he was happy to be able to get to learn more about him and know these things.

he smiles when the tea was finally ready, immediately settling down at the table. he sips his tea and smiles—that’s some good stuff right there. he turns his attention to admin duties after. he knew there was a way to find grian’s code. there had to be—he was in the server. he was actually here—able to interact with the world and it’s players. it’s weird how his code just.. seemed nonexistent.

he searched all of the files, some he’d never touched before or ones he’s only looked at once. he searches whitelist, everything as it should be. he knew grian wouldn’t be there, seeing as he wasn’t a player. but.. what was he?

maybe he glitched into the server? maybe that would be possible.. he’d just never seen anything like this before and it was all very odd. he doubted there being an outside reason for this. it wasn’t possible due to whitelist.

maybe… maybe that was the answer! maybe toggling whitelist could help get grian on it? maybe, just maybe…

xisuma exhales when hearing a knock on the door. he debated not answering it, but he didn’t think he could to that. he just stands and moves over, opening the door. “oh, keralis. what a surprise,” he smiles warmly.

“hey x,” keralis waves. xisuma steps aside so he could enter. “how have things been?”

“quite uh.. well, we could talk about it over breakfast?” xisuma smiles more. keralis just nods in agreement with a sweet smile.

“that would be really nice.”

grian shifts awake the next morning, yawning softly. he immediately began to shiver, frowning when he noticed the absence of xisuma by his side. he shivers and curls up, coughing softly. he felt terrible. he tried to go back to sleep but his head throbbed too much. he whimpers and shifts to curl underneath the blankets completely, eyebrows furrowed.

it didn’t seem like too much longer when xisuma had entered the room, smiling softly. “grian, ready for breakfast?” he spoke as he softly pats his arm. grian only shook his head; food was the last thing he wanted right now. though, xisuma just chuckles and moves to rub his back. “come on, it’ll help you feel better,” he insists softly.

“not hungry..” grian spoke quietly before coughing. this made xisuma frown as he softly pulls back the blankets.

“grian.. are you feeling alright?” he frowns, noticing he seemed worse than last night, forehead warmer than it should be when he checked. grian just nods, though it was obvious he wasn’t being the most truthful. xisuma just sits next to him and strokes a soft hand through his hair. “you’re really warm,” he watches him quietly.

“m.. alright,” grian mutters, though he coughs more. he sighs and frowns. “might be a little sick but.. ‘m fine..” he mutters softly. xisuma just nods, continuing to pet his hair softly.

“how about you get more rest, alright?” he spoke before grabbing the medicine from the bedside table. “here, these will help.” he hands him a glass of water as well, helping him to sit up. grian just furrows his brows before swallowing the meds with the water. he hands the glass back over before scooting closer to xisuma, his eyes falling close. the admin just smiles and hugs him softly, exhaling.

grian was asleep in a few moments, curled close into xisuma. he continues stroking his hair softly before shifting carefully, helping to lie grian down so he could continue to rest. he doesn’t even stir from his sleep as he does so. xisuma rests the blanket back over him, tucking him in before making his way back to the kitchen.

“he’s still not feeling well. i gave him some meds that should help.” xisuma spoke as he sits at the table, sighing softly.

“i’m sure they will,” keralis smiles reassuringly.

“yeah.. me too.” xisuma sighs and sips his tea, exhaling as he closes his eyes. keralis watches him closely.

“what’s on your mind, shashwhamm? you seem bothered,” he frowns softly. xisuma glances up, looking around the room after.

“i just… a lot,” he laughs softly. “you know, sometimes i think i worry too much, but then i really think and i feel like.. maybe i’m not wrong to be too worried..?”

“what’s worrying you? we’ll start there.” keralis takes a sip of his own tea. xisuma really did have good taste; the mint tea was actually really good—not that he ever doubted him.

“well… grian and scar went flying yesterday. apparently they went ice skating—which is fine! but.. scar died and grian almost did.. we had to get him out of the ice cold water and bring him back,” he frowns. “i just worry that.. what would have happened if we got there a few seconds too late?“ he meets keralis’ gaze. he just nods and listens, biting his lip lightly.

“i know it’s easy to think about that, but try not to ponder too hard. grian is okay now, right?” his voice remained gentle, never trying to seem judgemental.

“yeah,” he exhales. “maybe a little sick, but alive.”

“alive is what matters.” keralis smiles sweetly.

“it is,” xisuma nods. “but.. i don’t want him to be too careless. i don’t.. and here’s the issue—“ he sighs and closes his eyes. “i don’t think he’ll respawn if something were to actually happen..” he felt keralis’s hand in his and he gives it a soft squeeze, tightening his grip.

“i’m sure he won’t be careless,” he watches him. “does.. he know he can’t respawn? how are you sure?”

“he doesn’t know.. and he isn’t enlisted as a player. i can’t find his code,” he sighs. keralis nods quietly.

“i don’t know much about that.. is it because of the whitelist?”

“you know, i’ve thought about it. and i really don’t know. i just.. have worries about turning it off for even a moment.” he laughs softly. “if i can just find his code i can add him,” he frowns.

“i don’t understand,” keralis returns the soft squeeze of his hand from earlier.

“we all have code that’s enlisted us as players. he just… isn’t there. it’s so odd because he can interact with the world and players just fine, but—he just isn’t in the server code anywhere.“ xisuma sighs. “it’s just odd,” he thinks quietly. “i’ve thought about the possibility that he’s.. a glitch, maybe? he mentioned a portal before he ended up in the forest? is it even possible to glitch in?”

“it could be,” keralis thought quietly to himself. “i don’t.. really know anything about that stuff, but if he’s here i’m sure he has to have code somewhere. it doesn’t make sense for him not to.” he softly pats his hand. xisuma nods.

“you’re right, i know.” he exhales. “it’s impossible to be here without code somewhere.” he nods. “i just.. i’m worried something will happen and he’ll be gone forever..” he mutters.

“i’m sure he’ll be just fine,” keralis offers a soft smile. “is it cause he hangs with scar..?”

“yeah,” he sighs. “i.. i don’t know. i feel bad, and like i don’t have the right to tell him he can’t do something and to just.. forbid him out of worry and fear something will happen.” he sighs. “i just.. scar can be so careless sometimes, and i worry that he doesn’t really know grian can’t just.. come back.” he swallows hard at the thought.

“maybe you should tell him?”

“i’ve thought about it.” xisuma closes his eyes. “maybe i should.. maybe it’s not safe not to. but… grian really likes scar, they’re good friends and i want them to be friends. but it’s.. gahh,” he laughs a bit, shaking his head. “maybe i worry for no reason,”

“well, not no reason.” keralis watches him. “it’s a valid worry to have. but i think making them aware might help.” xisuma nods softly to his words. he’s right.. he’s right.

“well, i kind of hinted at it by asking scar to promise he got grian home safe,” he looks down. “i don’t know if he put two and two together, but..” he shrugs. he looks up when hearing a knock to the door. he meets keralis’ gaze before standing. “speaking of scar…” he sighs. keralis stands as well, moving over to him.

“tell him now,” he spoke, placing a soft hand to his back. xisuma just smiles softly at him and nods. now was a good time. he moves to the door and opens it up, smiling down at scar.

“good morning, scar.” he spoke. scar just grins up at him.

“why good morning x, keralis.” he glances over at the other, his smile only growing before he looks back to xisuma. “is grian around?” he peeks in behind the two.

“he is, scar. he just still might be asleep,” xisuma spoke as he steps aside to let him in. he smiles and enters, looking around and admiring xisuma’s base. he turns back to the admin. “just.. there’s something i need to tell you.”

“yes?” 

“about grian,” xisuma began, looking to the side. 

“oh?” he watches him.

“he..” the admin sighs. “scar, you really do have to be careful when out with grian. he… he isn’t just a new hermit.” he frowns and sighs. “there’s a reason i had you promise you got grian home safe.” he watches the elf’s expression. “he can’t die. if he does.. there’s a good chance he won’t respawn.”

“i..” scar frowns. his heart drops. he… “why?” he looks up at xisuma. “can’t you just—make it so he can?”

“i.. i’m working on it. i really am.” he sighs. “look, he will be okay. you just have to be careful, alright? i’m not saying you two can’t fly together or even ice skate—but please, please make sure he’s never in a situation he could get hurt.”

scar felt like he could cry. he was so reckless and careless—he’d have to be so so much more careful with grian. maybe watching the stars and building was a better activity for the two after all..

“i understand,” scar nods with a frown. xisuma smiles and places a soft hand to his shoulder.

“you don’t have to be upset, alright? i just.. knew i should mention it. we both know how.. accident prone you can be.” he offers a soft smile. scar just smiles as well.

“yeah..” he looks away.

“i have to tell grian too,” xisuma sighs softly. scar just smiles softly at him.

“can i see him?” xisuma smiles sweetly at him.

“of course,” he leads him back to the bedroom, softly pushing the door open. he smiles at grian as he was awake, walking closer. grian looks over, quickly drying his eyes and face, hugging tightly onto xisuma when he’d sat. the admin frowns when realising he’d been crying, hugging him back.

“how are you feeling?” he asks softly, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead, noticing he’d cooled off a little.

“a little better,” grian replies, head resting softly against xisuma, eyes closed. he leans up into the hand in his hair with a smile. xisuma just chuckles softly.

“you’ve got visitors,” he smiles over at scar who makes his way over.

“grian!” scar smiles happily.

“scar,” grian smiles back.

“how do you feel?” grian shrugs.

“still not well, but.. better than yesterday.” he spoke, playing with his fingers quietly. xisuma smiles sweetly at the two and stands.

“i’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. come get breakfast when you’re ready.” he smiles before ruffling grian’s hair and making his way out of the room. scar smiles at grian, leaning in closer.

“are you hungry at all?” he smiles. grian shrugs.

“food is kinda the last thing i wanna think about right now,” he looks down at his hands. scar just smiles softly.

“that’s okay,” he glances around the room before smiling. “you’ll be better in no time! we can build and watch the stars again soon.” he nods, for sure. “i’m still kinda cold from dying,” he spoke, looking down at his own hands. grian smiles softly.

“i’m sorry.. i never learned to swim..” he tries to not frown. he felt awful..

“hey, no worries! i’m just glad we can respawn!” scar’s smiling before it fades. well.. he can respawn… 

“yeah,” grian smiles. “if something was to happen i’d just respawn,” he nods. why wouldn’t he? scar does!

“uh.. yeah..” scar looks away, feeling the guilt return. it definitely would have been his fault if grian didn’t come out of there alive.. he was the one that insisted they go ice skating. it was his fault.. he hugs his knees closer in silence. he didn’t know what he would do with himself if he lost grian and it was his fault…

“what’s wrong?” grian asks, noticing how down scar seemed. the elf just smiles.

“oh—nothing at all! i uh—just don’t like you being all sick,” he glances away. he hated lying, but what was he supposed to say? he was almost sure xisuma hadn’t told him and he felt like it was something that he should tell him. he sighs softly. “i’m just glad you’re okay.. i felt really bad.”

“yeah, just sick.” grian smiles. “why wouldn’t i be?” he watches him curiously. scar shrugs.

“i dunno.. hey! we should build something together when you’re feeling better!” scar smiles, changing the subject. grian just smiles and nods.

“yeah,” he agrees.

“have you drawn anymore?” scar asks once he notices the journal on the bedside table. grian looks over at it and grabs it, smiling softly.

“a little,” he shrugs, handing it over so scar could look at his recent drawings.

“oooh—these are so cool!” scar gasps as he looks over the drawings. “i like them a lot! you’d be such a good builder, grian.” he smiles happily at grian. the avian just shrugs quietly.

“maybe,” he looks down to his drawings.

“not maybe! definitely!” scar huffs. “i’ve seen you build and you do really good! genuinely,” he smiles sweetly. grian just plays with his fingers and returns the smile, his wings fluttering softly.

“well.. thank you.”

“of course!” scar grins before glancing at his wings, looking back down at the journal after. “we should draw together too,” he spoke with a smile. “that was fun,”

“yeah,” grian agrees. “i like how our styles blend,”

“yeah!” scar smiles happily. “hey, do you think you should try and eat something?” he spoke after his stomach growled. grian just shrugs.

“i.. could try,” he didn’t feel as sick as earlier. he was sure that medicine definitely helped.

“awesome!” scar smiles and shifts to stand. grian does the same, furrowing his brows lightly. as soon as he stood everything went fuzzy. he quickly sits back onto the bed, swaying lightly and closing his eyes, nearly missing scar’s worried words.  “are you okay?”

“i’m fine.. just got kinda dizzy,” grian responds before standing once again. the room spun lightly before it had came to a stop. he smiles softly at scar before following him into the kitchen.

“.. so maybe that’s how?” xisuma’s voice had came into hearing, and scar pauses. grian frowns.

“wh—“ he went to ask why scar had stopped, though the elf just covers his mouth. grian frowns, not wanting to listen in to the conversation, especially if it was personal.

“it could be,” keralis was speaking next.

“it.. still doesn’t make much sense.” xisuma sighs. “i just want to worry about finding his code first. i just.. worry something will happen and it’ll be too late…”

“you can’t think like that, shashwhamm. we’ll figure it out.” keralis smiles softly at xisuma, patting his hand. “if you worry then you’ll stress. grian’s safe—nobody would ever hurt him.”

“it’s not that anybody would hurt him. it’s.. more or less something will happen. accidents happen, and they’re nobody’s fault—it just makes me paranoid.” xisuma laughs softly at his own worries.

“accidents do happen, but i’m sure there’s different things we can do to prevent them.” keralis smiles reassuringly. xisuma sighs softly and nods.

“you’re right.” he nods. there was definitely ways of preventing something bad from happening, but what could he do? “i just.. feel like i don’t have the right to tell him he can’t do something.” he shrugs.

“i know you’ll feel bad about it, but it’s better than something happening to him. plus, i’m sure he’d understand if it’s for the better.”

“yeah.. i’m sure he would.” xisuma smiles before tensing when hearing a noise. he stands and narrows his eyes. “is someone there?” he spoke up, voice louder than during his previous conversation. scar enters the room holding grian’s hand, smiling at the two.

“yeah! we’re just coming in for some breakfast.” he spoke.

“how long have you been there?” xisuma looks between the two.

“oh—we uh.. would really like some breakfast.” scar just avoids the question, making his way into the kitchen. grian follows, though he moved to xisuma first to hug onto him. the admin just wraps his arms around grian softly.

“were you listening to us?” xisuma asks him quietly. the avian just silently nods in response after a moment, arms tightening around him. the admin sighs softly. he supposed he couldn’t be too upset—he’d have to find out eventually. “are you feeling better?” he questions, pressing the back of his hand softly against his forehead. grian nods.

“a little,” his wings flutter quietly as he smiles, not moving. xisuma chuckles.

“hungry?”

“i wanna try and eat something,” grian nods. xisuma strokes a soft hand through his hair before nodding. when grian didn’t make any attempts to move away from xisuma he just chuckles and hugs him closer before letting go. grian slowly let go as well, moving to sit at the table. he glances at keralis before quickly looking away, watching as scar took a seat next to him and immediately began eating. grian looks away.

“here we are,” xisuma sets a plate in front of grian before sitting beside him. grian just frowns a bit, though he picks up his fork and tries to eat. it tasted weird due to the sickness, but it wasn’t too bad. he ate quietly, trying not to eat too much. “you can get some too, if you’re hungry.” xisuma smiles over at keralis who just nods and stands. 

“any plans today, grian?” xisuma spoke, looking over to him. grian had stayed fairly silent, wings twitching quietly. xisuma studies him. this was the second time he’d fallen all.. silent like this. maybe it was just because he was sick. though, it almost worried him.. he worried a lot recently—maybe he really was being silly with all this worrying, after all.

“we might build more,” scar had spoken up after a moment with a smile. grian nods in silence, continuing to eat. xisuma hums softly.

“your garden?” he questions him. scar smiles and shrugs.

“maybe! we might make something else, too.” he shrugs, continuing to eat happily. xisuma hums and nods before looking down when feeling a weight against his shoulder. he smiles softly at grian, stroking a soft hand through his hair. he presses the back of his hand against his forehead once more; he wasn’t as warm as earlier, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t feeling bad. he continues stroking his hair softly before continuing to eat.

“see! he seems down,” scar giggles and pats grian’s arm softly. grian just offers a light smile before closing his eyes, leaning against xisuma’s arm. his mind felt fuzzy, throat tight and stomach too full. he’d really tried not to eat too much, but at least now he could sleep through the uncomfortableness of being sick. and that’s what he did. eyes closed and relaxed into xisuma, it wasn’t long before he was falling into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

history.

avians can be seen in greek mythology and folklore. before they became as rare and pretty much extinct, an ancient race of avians called the watchers existed. it was rumoured they had organisations that took avians showing no signs of watcher magic and harvested their wings, which contain healing properties; being taken from their families and “disposed of.” their families were also usually never heard from again. avians were very valuable due to this.

while there is no actual evidence that this had happened, it had been speculation for years due to several disappearances and the rise of immortality devices called totems of undying. avians are now rare and quite the wonder to behold. the watchers disappeared long ago and so did the experiments, leaving very little avians behind—if any.

grian shifts awake in bed. he yawns and rubs his eyes, sniffling quietly. shifting to sit up, he flutters his wings and whimpers. they felt terrible.. he wished he could just clean them already—it’s such a hassle. he shifts to stand, not liking the absence of xisuma. he exits the bedroom, rubbing his head. he was just glad he didn’t feel too sick anymore. he liked not being sick.

making his way down the hall, he pauses upon seeing doc. his wings twitch and he watches him closely as he makes his way further into the room, feathers starting to rise. he goes to xisuma and hugs him tight, hiding his face.

“and he’s awake!” xisuma chuckles softly with a smile. he strokes a soft hand up through his hair, free arm around him. “how do you feel?”

“better,” grian replies, response muffled by xisuma. the admin chuckles.

“good,” he hugs him softly before letting go. “hungry? i’m just about to start dinner.” he hums.

“how long did i sleep?” grian looks up at him. xisuma smiles.

“all day,” he chuckles. “it’s time for dinner,” he continues petting his hair softly. grian just closes his eyes and rests his head against him.

“can i shower before dinner?” he asks.

“of course.” he gives grian another soft squeeze before he’s pulling away. he leads grian back to the bathrooms who follows close behind, refusing to look at doc. he felt kinda bad for not.. he did save his life, after all. he didn’t let the guilt get to him this time, he just wanted a relaxing bath and to forget about it.

“here we are,” xisuma hands grian a towel.

“could you run a bath..?” he asks as he accepts the towel and hugs it.

“of course,” xisuma smiles sweetly. he moves over to turn the water on, humming as he makes sure it’s the right temperature. grian hugs onto the towel before leaning into xisuma silently. the admin chuckles and lets the water run. “just call my name if you need anything, as always.” he smiles, ruffling his hair softly. grian nods and watches as he leaves, frowning once he did. he sighs and closes the door, undressing and getting into the warm water. he smiles at the warmth, just glad it wasn’t the freezing cold water he’d last felt.

grian closes his eyes as he settles into the warmth of the bath, smiling happily. he unfolds his wings and allows them to get wet too, enjoying the warmth on them. he’d have to struggle to dry them later, but he also had to clean them. he’d get xisuma to help, he was sure he wouldn’t mind—he never usually did.

grian hugs his knees close, enjoying the warmth of the water. it really was better, being all cold recently. he closes his eyes and exhales softly, enjoying the water against his wings as well.

he stayed in the bath until the water had gone cold. he huffs at it and stands, deciding to get dressed before it was too cold. he lets the water out before turning on the shower to actually get clean. he hums under the warm water and washes up before getting his hair. shaking out the water, he shuts the shower off and grabs a towel to dry before getting dressed.

grian sighs softly, sitting in front of the door. he tries his best to dry out his wings, though he’s unable to get most of them as usual. he just hugs his knees close. he’d really hate to bug xisuma, especially knowing he had company.. he could just wait until doc left. he’d be fine until then….

though, crying on the bathroom floor wasn’t really what he had in mind. he hugs his knees close, burying his face there. he hated feeling like a bother to xisuma.. he knew he wouldn’t mind, he just felt bad interrupting him. he was probably really busy.. he was always busy when doc was around, so he just waited until he came to check on him.

it wasn’t long until then. he quickly dries his eyes and shifts to stand, sniffling as he opens the door. “how are you doing?” xisuma spoke before frowning. “are you alright?” he closes the door. grian just nods, hugging onto him and closing his eyes.

“i’m fine..” he hugs him tighter.

“do you want to talk about why you’ve been crying?” xisuma’s voice was soft, keeping grian close. the avian just shrugs.

“i need help with my wings,” he spoke. he didn’t mention the fact that he didn’t want to disturb him.

“oh,” the admin furrows his brows. “well that’s why i’m here to help.” he smiles sweetly. grian just sniffles and nods, rubbing at his eyes more. “please don’t cry,” xisuma kneels down to properly pull grian into a hug. grian smiles and clings onto him, eyes closing as he buries his face into his neck.

“thank you,” his wings flutter lightly behind him before twitching. they desperately needed cleaned.

“well of course,” he smiles. he ruffles his hair before slowly letting go, grian doing the same. he grabs the towel and grian turns so he can dry the places grian had missed. grian smiles and flutters his wings after, stretching them out to their full length before giving a few flaps, eliciting a gasp from xisuma. he smiles.

grian yawns and closes his eyes as he’d began to clean them, removing things that didn’t belong and fixing feathers that were in the wrong directions. grian smiles at the feeling, relaxing into his gentle, caring hands.

“i want to go flying with scar again,” he’d spoke up after a moment, eyes closed. xisuma continues to fix feathers, glancing at grian. he looks back down to his wings.

“just be careful when you go,” he spoke, removing twigs and leaves that didn’t belong. grian’s wings flutter.

“i will,” he spoke. “i’ll be okay! and if anything, i’ll just respawn!” he grins. he hated when xisuma worried—he had nothing to worry about! though, xisuma didn’t seem happier with that reminder. he sighs.

“grian..” xisuma bites his lip. how was he meant to tell him? grian just glances back at him, frowning and turning to hug him. xisuma hugs him back tight, holding him close. “you won’t respawn..” he mutters. grian frowns, feeling his wings twitch. he.. what?

“i won’t?” he questions quietly.

“no, not—not yet.” xisuma softly hugs him closer. grian just stares at the wall behind him. it.. didn’t make sense! scar could respawn.. why wouldn’t he? he just softly nuzzles closer into xisuma, wings drooping quietly. “i’ll fix it. you’ll be able to respawn and—and there’ll be nothing to worry about.” xisuma spoke, eyes closed tight, his eyebrows furrowed. grian nods quietly, hugging onto him tighter. “i would explain but i don’t know if you’ll understand as it’s complicated technical stuff.. so for now just.. just be careful.. it won’t be like this forever. you’ll be able to respawn soon.”

“okay..” grian frowns, hugging tighter onto xisuma. he’d be just fine.. xisuma would fix it! he knew he would. he made everything better! then he would be able to respawn and.. and he’ll be okay! “i know you can fix it,” he softly wraps his wings around the both of them, adding an extra layer to the hug. xisuma smiles.

“of course i can, it’ll just take time.” he hugs grian close, resting his head onto his and closing his eyes.

“xisuma?..”

“hm?”

“.. i love you,”

he pauses with the words, though his smile grew and he hugs grian closer. he moves one hand up into his hair, grian’s wings fluttering more as he nuzzles closer into him.

“i love you too, grian.”

the hug had lasted a while before xisuma had finished helping grian preen. he makes his way back into the kitchen, grian following close behind. he smiles at him before he’d sat, watching as xisuma continues to move around the kitchen. he’d realised doc was gone as he looks around.

“did doc leave?.” he asks quietly. xisuma glances over with a hum.

“he’s downstairs,” he spoke before grinning. “why? do you miss him?”

“no.” grian frowns, not really finding it funny, his wings twitching. he wasn’t upset, of course. he just… he huffs quietly and looks down at his hands.

“well then,” grian jumps and looks up when he’d heard doc speak. he frowns and looks down.

“don’t worry, i missed you.” xisuma jokes with a smile.

“good to know someone did.” doc grins as he makes his way to the table, sitting. grian frowns and looks away, not liking him being this close. he remained wary, feathers starting to rise. he watches as he’d picked up the paper, looking through it. he frowns.

once dinner was officially ready xisuma had served grian, ruffling his hair softly before also setting a plate down in front of doc. “why thank you,” he spoke, glancing up at the admin.

“oh, it’s the least i could do.” xisuma sits beside grian with his own plate. grian stares down at his food before beginning to eat after a moment. “after all you’ve done for me,”

“well, it’s my pleasure.” he smiles. he glances at grian who kept his gaze down, eating quietly. he hums. “how was your day?” he asks him. grian just tenses when he’d realised he was talking to him. he shrugs.

“fine.” he replies. xisuma just glances between the two with a smile.

“he’s still rather.. timid.” he’d spoke.

“he seems terrified.” doc hums. xisuma lifts a curious eyebrow, looking at grian. which, yeah, he kind of did. he reaches over to softly pat his arm, making him jump.

“are you okay?” he asks softly, watching him. grian just nods in silence, continuing to eat. xisuma rubs his arm before returning back to his own food. doc laughs softly.

“i’m sorry, he’s just—great.” he hums. “i like him a lot.” he spoke before taking a bite. xisuma smiles softly.

“he is,” he nods in agreement. grian just glances up at doc before scooting closer to xisuma, plate now abandoned. “are you feeling better?” xisuma questions, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead. grian just nods. “good,”

“did the water make him sick?” doc spoke up, though his voice was different. he.. sounded like he cared?. grian’s wings twitch.

“yeah.. i was worried for a bit there, he seemed quite sick.” xisuma nods quietly, softly stroking a hand through grian’s hair.

“well i’m glad he’s back to feeling well,” doc smiles sweetly. grian just watches him quietly, hugging onto xisuma’s arm. why does he go from making weird jokes and being scary to.. so kind?? grian didn’t get it, but.. at least he was still nice, he supposed.. better than him trying to.. eat him or something. did he think he owed him for bringing him back? grian really hoped not—what was he meant to do?

after dinner doc had stood and went to the door. xisuma smiles and follows him, grian by his side and hugging onto him. “well, i best be on my way.” doc smiles at the two. grian just hugs onto xisuma, tightening his grip and sinking further against him when doc had kneeled down to be eye level with him. “you take care, alright?”

grian nods as if it’s a threat.

doc just smiles and nods with him, shifting to stand. xisuma smiles and looks from grian to doc. “thank you again,” he smiles.

“no problem,” doc just chuckles and smiles between the two. “i’ll see you around!”

“yep!” xisuma waves before looking down at grian. “grian?” he spoke softly, lifting a curious eyebrow and stroking a soft hand through his hair. grian just kept his face hidden, hugging tighter onto him. the admin just smiles and rubs his back softly.

he let go after a moment, giving him a soft smile before he makes his way around to clean up from dinner. grian watches him for a moment before he turns and moves to grab his journal. he sits and opens it to a new page, beginning to draw quietly.

it was a bit later before he leans into xisuma when he’s sat on the sofa next to him. he smiles. “what are you drawing?” he asks with a smile. grian looks down at his work.

“what i remember seeing when i went flying with scar,” grian responds. he’d drawn the snowy taiga, adding the tall spruce trees, keeping the snowy parts white and shading the rest.

“you really are good at drawing, grian.” xisuma spoke with a smile. grian returns it.

“thank you,” he rests his head onto his shoulder and closes his eyes.

“ready for bed?” he questions. grian just sniffles and nods, though he made no attempts to move. xisuma smiles and gives him a soft hug before pulling away. “come on, then.” he smiles and makes his way upstairs. grian follows close behind.

upon entering the room grian sits onto the bed quietly, eyes downcast. he looks out the window after a moment, smiling when he’d seen the moon. a full moon tonight! he’d have to ask scar if he noticed it. he watches the stars quietly from inside—though, he thinks he prefers being in scar’s garden.

grian is brought out of his daze when he felt the bed dip. he turns and immediately snuggles up to xisuma, wings fluttering happily. the admin chuckles and strokes a soft hand up through his hair. he stares down at him, watching as he continues shifting before settling back against him, face buried into his shoulder. he smiles. “you know, i think you really should get to know doc.” he spoke. grian just shook his head at the proposition. “why not?” grian remains silent. yeah, he had an answer, but.. how was he supposed to tell him? that and the fact that he saved his life didn’t make it any easier.

“i’ll be there with you, you know.” xisuma looks down at grian with a sleepy gaze, bringing a hand up to softly stroke over his feathers. grian just buries his face further into him. the admin exhales softly. he wasn’t upset of course, he understood. but.. he just knew there had to be something to help him get over his fear. just what?

“would it help if scar comes too?” he questions. grian thought about it. scar also said doc was nice.. he even saved his life! why couldn’t he just… gah why did he have to be so scary?

grian shrugs in response. he just snuggles closer into him. “we’ll try something tomorrow, alright?” xisuma spoke after a moment, continuing to softly stroke a hand through his hair. “doc is really cool. and smart,” he smiles. “i think you’ll like his inventions, and him, if you could get past your silly fears.” he hums as he continues stroking a soft hand through his hair. grian’s wings flutter at the soft hand in his hair though he huffs at his words, though he doesn’t disagree. it was silly.

“you shouldn’t worry anymore tonight, alright?”  xisuma spoke softly and grian nods in agreement. he really shouldn’t. well, he could try not to. he just stays snuggled up into him, wings fluttering happily before resting against his back.

“goodnight..” he spoke up, wrapping an arm around him to hug him closer. the admin smiles and strokes his hair softly. xisuma smiles and rubs his back, closing his own eyes to sleep.

“rest well, grian.”

“.. i love you.”

“i love you too.”

the next morning, grian had woken up before xisuma. he furrows his brows as he rubs his eyes and yawns, looking around. he yawns and stretches, shifting to stand. he makes his way out of the room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. he does his business before gazing into the mirror, staring at himself. he stretches his wings out quietly, gazing at them. they looked bigger, and he felt like they had began to hurt. they felt sore despite the fact he hadn’t flown in a bit. maybe he should fly again soon, they probably just miss working.

making his way out of the bathroom, grian goes back to the bedroom. he snuggles back into xisuma, head resting onto his chest. he stares at the wall, thinking quietly.

he really didn’t want to be anywhere near doc. he felt bad because he kinda did save his life and xisuma was right, but… he couldn’t help it..

grian always hated crying over stupid things like this. it was so dumb—xisuma would be right there with him! he wouldn’t leave him alone with doc. even though he trusted him, and he saved his life, and everybody agreed that he was nice. he couldn’t help it…

grian was quick to dry his eyes and face as xisuma shifted awake. he yawns and smiles at grian, softly rubbing his back.

“good morning,” he rubs his eyes after with a yawn.

“good morning..” grian replies quietly, eyes downcast.

“another nightmare?” xisuma frowns as he’d noticed how down he seemed. he sits up and yawns, looking over to him. grian just shrugs, falling silent. the admin hums softly before shifting to get up out of bed and get ready for the day. grian did the same. “what sounds good for breakfast?” xisuma smiles over at the avian, watching him quietly. again, grian just shrugs, eyes downcast.

“anything is okay,” he spoke quietly. and it was. he wasn’t hungry, anyways. xisuma just nods and goes with it, making his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. grian follows, taking his journal with him. he sits at the table and draws quietly, waiting for breakfast to be ready. he rests his head onto his arms after a moment, frowning to himself.

xisuma hums when hearing a knock on the door. grian felt himself tense, looking up and glancing at xisuma. the admin just chuckles and ruffles his hair before going to the door.

“scar—good morning,”

“good morning x!” scar smiles widely. grian is quick to get out of his chair upon hearing his voice and run to the door, immediately pulling scar into a tight hug. the elf giggles and hugs him back happily. “grian! hi!” he squeezes him softly.

“hi,” grian spoke before quickly pulling away, his wings twitching. scar grins.

“are you joining us for breakfast?” xisuma questions, moving back into the kitchen. scar closes the door behind himself and makes his way in that direction.

“yeah!” he smiles happily and sits at the table. grian sits back in his spot and scar moves to sit beside him, smiling widely. “oooh! are you drawing?”

“yeah,” grian looks down to his journal with a soft smile. scar smiles more.

“they’re so cool!” he smiles. “i like them so far,”

“thank you,” grian smiles over at him before looking down. he falls silent.

“what do you want to do today?” scar asks, watching grian quietly. grian shrugs and looks down.

“i think xisuma had plans,” he spoke quietly.

“you’re welcome to tag along, scar.” xisuma had spoke up, offering him a sweet smile. scar returns it.

“i’ll join!” he smiles at him before looking back at grian. “hey, we could watch the stars again tonight! maybe even have a sleepover,” he smiles happily. grian smiles and nods at the offer. that would be really fun, and it could get his mind off of..

“i’m sure xisuma wouldn’t mind you staying here,” he’d spoke. scar watches him for a moment, not expecting the response.

“oh,” he nods. “well, i was expecting you to come over to my base,” he smiles. grian thought quietly before nodding with a smile.

“okay,” he agrees. though.. he still wasn’t sure about it. he always slept with xisuma by his side.. he wasn’t sure how he felt about not having him there.

“here we are,” xisuma spoke as breakfast is placed down in front of them. scar smiles happily and thanks him before digging in. grian stares down at his plate. “everything alright?” xisuma questions once he’s sat, looking over at grian. the avian just nods quietly.

why was he like this? first he ruins xisuma’s plans because he doesn’t like doc and now he ruins scar’s plans because he wasn’t sure if he could psychically stand to be away from xisuma for a night.. he couldn’t help it, but he felt awful. he forces himself to pick up his fork. xisuma would question why he wasn’t eating. it’s not like he could tell him!

grian begins to eat quietly. he kept his gaze downcast, getting down as much as he could. he rests his fork down after, sipping his juice before he waits. the others would be done soon. he felt like he barely touched his plate.

“you barely touched your food, grian.” xisuma points out. grian shrugs. “everything alright?”

“yeah,” grian replies quietly. he would be fine. he just.. he had to power through it. he couldn’t let them know. “just not too hungry,”

xisuma hums at the reply. he glances at scar before continuing his own breakfast. grian just grabs his journal and quietly continues to draw. scar was right, it really was good to help him relax.

after breakfast had ended grian stands and hands his plate over to xisuma, scar doing the same. the elf smiles over at grian, peeking at his journal. “ooh!” he admires his drawings. grian just smiles softly. “we’ll have so much fun at our sleepover!” scar claps! “we can build and play games and stay up late and watch the stars and the sunrise—oh i’m excited!” scar spoke happily, grinning. grian forces a smile.

he’d hate to ruin his happiness.. he was so excited about it. he looks back to his journal quietly. “it’ll be fun,” he spoke, trying not to seem so sad. he couldn’t know.

“it’ll be very fun!” scar smiles happily and leans into grian, watching him draw quietly.

“you two ready to go?” xisuma had spoke up with a smile.

“yes!” scar grins happily. “i can’t wait to see what doc’s come up with this time!” he giggles. he looks over to grian and pats his arm. “are you still afraid of him?” he asks softly. grian’s gaze drops and he frowns. scar pulls him into a hug. “it’s okay! me and x will be with you! and, i think you’ll really like his inventions. they’re awesome!” he pulls back and smiles happily. grian just nods and forces a smile. scar just smiles and holds his hand quietly, closing his fingers around grian’s when he didn’t let go. he smiles happily.

xisuma just smiles softly at them, ruffling grian’s hair before moving to the door. they began on their way to doc’s base, grian feeling more tense the closer they got, feathers fluffed up. he kept a tight hold on scar’s hand, not letting go for anything. he looks up when they’d stopped, gaping up at the large structure before him.

“what is that?.” he questions.

“doc’s base!” scar smiles widely over at grian.

“did he build this?” grian looks over to scar before admiring the build once more.

“i did.”

grian gasps and jumps, immediately hiding behind xisuma. the admin chuckles before glancing at doc, exhaling softly.

“good to see you, doc.” he spoke. “do you recall our conversation from the other day?”

“i do,” doc hums and glances around. he smiles at scar after a moment. “how have you been? your hair has gotten so long,”

“it has!” scar grins. doc returns it. he then looks at grian who remained hidden, face buried against xisuma and wings fluffed up.

“and how’s grian?” he spoke, watching the avian quietly. grian grips tighter onto xisuma before peeking up at doc, attempting to hide further.

“good.” he replies quietly, wings twitching. doc smiles when seeing them, admiring them quietly.

“that’s good,” he smiles before looking at xisuma. grian just frowns, wings twitching more. he looks over when feeling a tap to his shoulder, looking up and meeting scar’s gaze. the elf smiles sweetly and holds out his hand, smiling when grian accepts it. he gives his hand a soft squeeze before beginning to follow xisuma and doc.

“so i was hoping to show grian what we’ve been working on,” xisuma spoke up. doc grins and turns to meet the avian’s gaze.

“interested in redstone, are you?”

grian just nods. he had no idea what redstone was.

doc smiles and leads them to another room. “it is quite new,” he spoke, opening the door. it was a farming room, it seemed. grian looks around, smiling. it was cool.. and huge. the first thing that caught his gaze was the large machine to the side.

the second thing was the dark haired boy who turns to face them, hands covered in red powder. “hey x, scar,” he greets them with a smile, reaching up to wipe away sweat and managing to get the red powder all over his face in the process. “oh goodness me,” he laughs.

“good evening, mumbo.” xisuma greets with a smile.

“mumbo!” scar waves with a wide smile. grian felt his hand tighten around the elf’s as he—mumbo?—makes his way closer.

“we got a new hermit?” he questions as he studies grian. the avian felt his wings twitch as he met his gaze—his eyes were so pretty—

“yep,” xisuma spoke up. “he’s been staying with me.” he smiles.

“neat,” mumbo smiles before looking back to grian, seemingly patient with the fact that he hadn’t said a word and he’d just been staring at him—maybe he’s shy. “your wings are really cool. are you an avian?”

grian stares at him before blinking and nodding, grip tightening on scar’s hand. he felt his face heat up and he quickly looks away. the large machine in the corner caught his attention after.

“wh-what’s it do?” he asks.

“why don’t i show you?” doc walks back over with a grin. grian nods.

Chapter Text

“you sure you’ll be alright without me?” xisuma spoke, pulling grian into a close hug. grian just hugs onto him tight.

“of course he will!” scar giggles. “we’ll have so much fun he won’t even think about it!” he smiles widely. though xisuma knew different; he wasn’t sure if scar was aware of the imprint and how avians could be, especially younger ones. he just keeps him close and sighs.

“don’t be afraid to come home if anything happens, alright?” he looks at him. grian nods, hugging xisuma tighter. “scar, keep your communicator with you please.”

“will do,” scar smiles. xisuma looks back down at grian and exhales softly.

“please be careful,” he spoke.

“i will,” grian replies quietly, still having refused to let go. xisuma rubs his back and softly hugs him tighter before slowly letting go. grian let go a few moments later, frowning.

“you have a good time with scar, alright?” the admin smiles sweetly at him. “i’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

“okay,” grian plays with his fingers. xisuma smiles and softly ruffles his hair before smiling at scar, turning to leave afterwards. keralis follows him. grian just watches as xisuma had continued walking away, slowly disappearing from sight, his wings drooping. he always felt anxious when xisuma left. he knew he would come back, but part of him felt like.. what if he didn’t?

it was silly, of course. of course he would come back! why wouldn’t he?

grian just looks at scar. “what should we do first?”

xisuma sighs and walks home from scar’s base. keralis just smiles softly at him, attempting to keep the energy positive. “he’ll be alright,” he spoke up after a moment.

“i know he’ll be alright.. physically,” he exhales softly. “i just.. know he’ll worry.” he looks down. “i don’t know how long he can stand to be away,”

“i’m sure he’ll come home if he misses you too much,” 

“yeah..” he stares at the ground before looking up. “i’m sure he will, but.. i still worry.” he frowns a bit.

“what’s worrying you?”

“i don’t.. i don’t know,” he sighs. “i know i shouldn’t worry too much but i just know how he can be when he’s away too long.. especially at night.”

“because of the imprint?”

“yeah..” xisuma looks up and continues walking home. he never liked worrying, hating how his thoughts would take darker turns when he did. grian would be okay! he was with scar. he’d be fine.

at least he hoped.

they arrive back to his base and xisuma makes his way inside, sitting onto the sofa. he sighs softly, eyes closing. he couldn’t worry.. 

he looks over when keralis had sat next to him, softly smiling before looking away. “any movie suggestions?”

“hmmm.. yeah,” keralis smiles and accepts the remote when it’s handed to him. he flips through movies before settling on one. xisuma just chuckles at him and settles back into the couch.

“again?” he glances over at him with a fond smile.

“if you decide what you wanna watch be my guest to change it.” keralis grins back. xisuma just laughs softly and looks back to the tv. the movie starts and he rolls his eyes playfully.

“it’s not like you’ve seen this a thousand times or anything,” he teases.

“so? just because i can recite the script word for word doesn’t mean i can’t still enjoy the movie.” he giggles. xisuma just laughs softly and looks back to the tv screen with a smile.

“and they call me a derp,”

“you are a derp,” keralis giggles before he shifts, standing to close the curtains and dim the lights. he sits back beside xisuma and hums happily. the admin just smiles, shaking his head softly. he watches the intro to the movie in comfortable silence.

grian smiles as he stares up at the clouds, thinking quietly to himself.

“ooh! do you see that one? it looks like a wolf!” scar spoke with a grin, pointing up into the sky. grian looks about the different clouds before smiling.

“it does,” he agrees. he plays with his fingers quietly. his wings felt uncomfortable again.. he frowns to himself. he’d just have to wait until tomorrow to preen.. there’s no way he was letting scar touch his wings. not that he’d ever do anything to hurt them, but.. he didn’t want scar touching them. only xisuma was allowed to.

“that one looks like a bear!” scar spoke, interrupting grian’s thoughts. he just lifts an eyebrow before snickering.

“yeah? well this one over here looks like a cloud,” he spoke, looking over at scar. the elf just huffs at him and sits up.

“grian, are you taking the cloud gazing seriously?”

“yeah- of course!” grian sits up as well with a smile. scar just laughs and shakes his head.

“you’re not!” he giggles. “i can’t believe you’d do this,” he hums before looking back up at the sky. he watches as the puffy clouds move across the expanse of blue, travelling slowly. he hums. “what should we do now?” he spoke, glancing at grian after a moment.

“i dunno,” grian spoke, looking down. he stares at the grass, running a hand over the soft blades.

“hmm.. we could go flying again!” scar gasps, reaching over to playfully smack grian’s shoulder. grian smiles.

“i’d like that a lot.” he agrees.

“well come on then! it’s still daylight!” scar jumps up happily before reaching a hand down to grian. he looks up and accepts it, allowing scar to pull him up to his feet. he lets go after, smiling and following the elf into his base. scar smiles as he hurriedly straps on his elytra, practically bouncing with excitement. “oh!“ he gasps and turns to grian. “we should get mumbo to come too!” he claps and grabs grian’s hand, pulling him back out of his base.

“what—“ grian gasps as he’s pulled out of the room. well.. he supposed he couldn’t complain about meeting someone new.. everyone seemed so nice, anyways. he was sure mumbo was nice, too.

they arrive to where he assumed was mumbo’s base, watching as he knocks. grian moves to stand more behind scar, watching as the door had opened. “oh—scar, what a surprise!” mumbo smiles. scar smiles back happily.

“mumbo!! are you busy right now?” he questions him before giggling. “it doesn’t matter if you are—come flying with us!” he grins. mumbo just watches scar curiously, because wow did he have a lot of energy. he just smiles.

“i’m not busy,” he laughs softly.

“good—let’s go! get your elytra,” scar smiles widely. he hadn’t hung out with mumbo in so long—ooo he was excited!

“okay okay—i’m doing it,” mumbo laughs as he heads inside his base to retrieve the elytra. scar turns to grian.

“you’ll like mumbo.” he grins before turning back to mumbo when he’d returned, still strapping on his elytra.

“so—i never caught your name yesterday,” he spoke as he came back, looking at grian. the avian just stares back—his eyes were just indescribably pretty..

“grian,” he replies.

“pleasure to meet you, grian.” mumbo smiles sweetly back at him. grian felt his wings twitch, staring up at mumbo. he got lost in his eyes, jumping when scar had spoke.

“come on!” he giggles, grabbing onto grian’s hand. “let’s get going!” he grins before grabbing his rockets and suddenly taking off. grian follows close behind and mumbo shoots off after the two.

grian smiles happily at the wind blowing through his hair, humming as he closes his eyes. not smart while he was flying, of course, but he opens them when he’d heard scar speak.

“i like flying!” he smiles widely. grian smiles back.

“me too!” he replies. he glances back at mumbo, feeling his heart in his chest. he glances at scar and continues to follow him. mumbo had followed close behind the two, though he felt unable to take his gaze off grian’s wings. they were so beautiful.. grian had stretched them wide as he soared, glancing behind him at mumbo to see if he was staring. he didn’t know why he felt like he had to impress him. why did he care about his opinion on his wings? he didn’t know, but he did know he wanted him to like them.

scar smiles and lands in the tops of a large tree after a moment. grian had landed next to him, and mumbo after—though, not so gracefully. scar began to laugh. “grian—you should give mumbo flying lessons!” he grins. mumbo just huffs, feeling his face heat up. grian glances at mumbo before quickly looking away because—well, he can’t say he’d be opposed.

scar smiles happily forwards, admiring the view. they had stopped right at the beginning of a jungle. the trees were tall and bamboo grew everywhere; it was beautiful. grian had never seen anything quite like it.

“i like the jungle,” he spoke. “it’s pretty,” he hums as he glances at grian. the avian just nods.

“it is,” he spoke. he smiles before glancing over when he’d heard chirping, his wings twitching upon seeing the colourful parrot. scar gasps.

“grian—it’s just like you!” he giggles. grian smiles as he watches it quietly, his wings twitching. it’s feathers were the same colours as his own; reds, blues, and yellows painting it’s body and wings. grian liked it.

he looks over when scar had spoke, smiling. “let’s keep flying,” he spoke. grian nods and doesn’t waste a moment getting up into the air, smiling happily. scar hums and looks at mumbo. “he’s great,” he grins before shooting off a rocket.

“yeah… he is,” mumbo hums and watches as grian flew around the area. he smiles and shoots off a rocket of his own, flying off after scar.

grian smiles happily as he enjoyed his time in the air, wings stretched out and enjoying the wind. he hums and stares down at the scenery below. he loved flying. he felt so free.. he loved it.

he gasps as a sharp pain suddenly shot up his wing and through his shoulder. he winces and immediately makes his way to the nearest ground. he stumbles on his feet before he hunches over, eyes closed tight.

“grian?” he heard after a moment. “are you alright?”

“i’m fine..” he mutters, though the pain hadn’t stopped—and it hurt.

“you sure, mate?” mumbo had spoke after, frowning. he wouldn’t say he was very smart; he could work his way around a little bit of redstone but he was sure grian definitely didn’t look fine.

“yeah,” grian spoke. what was he to say? there wasn’t much that could be done.. he would just worry the two. he frowns and glances back at his wings. they looked fine.. it didn’t make sense why they just—hurt. they’d never hurt like that before. he flutters them lightly, wincing when it hadn’t really helped. he exhales slowly. “i’m fine.. we can keep going,” he replies.

“grian.. are you sure?” scar places a soft hand to his shoulder. grian just nods.

“yeah,” he offers a soft smile before taking off again. he couldn’t tell them. it’s not like there was much that could be done about it, anyways.

grian flaps his wings and winces, the pain not having went away. he sniffles, tears flying off his face as he flew. he’d be fine. he was sure of it. even if his wings felt like they could fall off, he would be fine.

exhaling softly, he dries his face and continues flying. he was sure the other two were nearby—he just wanted to fly. he was glad to get out in the sky and give his wings a good stretch. even if it suddenly hurt a lot, it still felt nice. the wind almost felt like a massage that helped to keep them relaxed a bit, though he wasn’t sure how long he could stay in the air.

he lands again on the outskirts of the jungle, exhaling softly. scar lands beside him, and mumbo stumbles on his feet after that. “flying is fun,” scar smiles at grian. he tilts his head lightly. “you sure you’re alright?”

“yeah.. i’m fine,” grian forces a smile. he wasn’t really, though, but he couldn’t appear weak in front of mumbo. he wouldn’t let that happen.

he looks up when the sky had grown darker, smiling at the storm clouds that gathered above them. “we.. should probably head back.” mumbo spoke up. grian just grins.

“i can’t fly in the rain.” he smiles happily. he looks back up to the sky and awaits the shower, waiting impatiently. he absolutely loved the rain. it felt super nice against his wings and hair and he loved it.

it had all broke loose at once, the rain beginning to pour down. though, it was a bit heavier than grian had expected. “the jungle has heavier rains,” scar spoke, stepping closer to grian. the avian just turns to face him. he almost hesitated, knowing he’d be embarrassed by feeling like he was wrong.

“it’s fine..” he turns away and closes his eyes. he was already soaked by that point, hair falling wetly across his forehead and tickling his eyes. he just smiles, though. it was still nice. he turns back to scar. “do you not like being in the rain?”

“no, i do.” he smiles reassuringly. “i just don’t want any of us to get sick, is all. especially you—you just got over being sick.”

“yeah, it wasn’t fun.” grian just chuckles. he smiles and stretches his wings out and flutters them. “i just like the rain.” he hums happily. he shakes them out after a bit, beginning to get heavy with the water. he smiles and keeps them spread, not liking when they were against his back while he was wet.

“being sick is never fun,” mumbo had spoke up. scar gives him a smile before looking back to grian. the avian felt his wings twitch and he looks away. he admires the jungle quietly, looking about how the vines climbed up the trees beautifully and tangled amongst the leaves.

“we can leave if you want,” he spoke before frowning. “i just can’t fly.” he bit his lip. what was he meant to do? the sun was starting to set and it was getting late.. now he couldn’t fly home and it was all his fault… he felt awful.

though, scar just smiles sweetly at him. “i can carry you! it’s no problem!” he watches him. grian looks at him.

“i really don’t want to be a bother,” he forces a smile. scar shakes his head.

“don’t say that! you’d never bother me.” he smiles sweetly before looking over at mumbo. “you should spend the night with us! it’d be fun to have all of us—we could all watch the stars!” he claps. mumbo smiles at him.

“i’d love to but i got a lot going on tomorrow. i could probably watch the stars for a bit but i can’t stay all night,” he chuckles. scar just smiles.

“all good! another time,” he grins. he looks back to grian, who was facing away from them. scar smiles and admires his wings that he kept spread out, collecting water. he glances at mumbo, seeing that he’d also taken to admiring them.

grian stares off into the distance, thinking quietly. he looks up and watches as the moon climbed up the sky, the stars following and beginning to appear as well though mostly hidden by the dark clouds. he smiles. he turns to scar and mumbo after, unable to stop the smile as he noticed mumbo was staring at his wings. they flutter before he shakes the water out once again. “i’m ready to go whenever.” he smiles. scar returns it widely, while mumbo looks everywhere but grian before meeting his gaze.

grian just nods. scar smiles and prepares his rockets in one hand before opening his arms with a laugh. grian just bites his lip. “can you even carry me? i don’t—“ he spoke before gasping when he’s lifted up off the ground. scar giggles as he held him, arms under his knees and around his back under his wings, being careful to not get too close.

“you’re light!“ he smiles sweetly. grian just giggles and wraps his arms around his neck tight for extra security. scar giggles and looks at mumbo. “ready?” he grins. mumbo just lifts a curious eyebrow.

“yeah, but.. are you sure you can use your rockets? is this safe?” he spoke, a bit unsure about the situation. scar just smiles.

“yeah!” he smiles happily before he’s jumping and taking off. mumbo just furrows his brows a bit in worry before taking off behind him. he keeps a close eye on the two, making sure scar could fly safely.

scar and grian were laughing happily, gripping onto each other tight. “scar—please be careful!” grian was speaking between laughs.

“stop kicking your feet!” scar laughs with him, smiling widely. he grins. “your hair is ticking my face!”

“i can’t help it!” grian laughs with him. he hugs onto him tight, arms wrapped around his neck as he clings close. he looks at the ground below, his stomach twisting nervously as he didn’t really have control—scar did.

man, the blind trust he put into him with how much he died.

>goodtimewithscar experienced kinetic energy.

and yeah. grian gasps and isn’t able to speak fast enough, hiding his face in scar’s shoulder as he crashes, dissolving right before he could do anything else. he then began to panic, gravity taking over. everything felt like it fell into slow motion, grian trying desperately to catch the wind on his wings, though they were still too wet to be of any help. he felt hopeless, falling. tears filled his eyes. xisuma would be so upset—xisuma would be heartbroken. he was always worried grian wouldn’t come home one day. he never meant for it to be this soon…

he gasps as he’s suddenly not falling, landing into warm arms. he looks up with wide eyes to see mumbo, who is shooting off another rocket. “i’ve got you,” he spoke. grian quickly dries his eyes and hugs tight onto him. he never expected to be this close to mumbo when they had just met yesterday, but.. well, he supposed he couldn’t complain. it was almost like a hug, and at least he wasn’t touching his wings.

“scar’s home, he’ll be okay.” mumbo had spoken, as if to assure grian he’d be fine. he respawned. he had that gift.

grian just nods quietly against him, having fallen silent. he couldn’t respawn. what if mumbo hadn’t come with them? what if he wasn’t here? he just hugs closer onto him. he felt almost more wreckless than scar, having to be saved twice. nothing wrong with that, of course, but… he almost felt bad. he thought he might feel worse for xisuma.

with a couple more rockets fired off they had arrived to scar’s base. mumbo lands, stumbling more than usual with the weight of grian in his arms. grian had clung tight onto him, stretching out his wings to try and catch them. though, that didn’t seem to help.

the two fell to the ground, and grian couldn’t help but laugh. it was so silly— he pauses and looks up at mumbo, feeling his wings twitch against his back. he felt himself already getting lost in his eyes.. the other seeming to pause as well before immediately blinking out of the daze and moving to stand up off him.

“i’m so sorry—i’m not good at landing anyways, and with—i just—“ mumbo huffs and holds out a hand for grian, face red. the avian just grins and accepts the hand, allowing him to help pull him up.

“it’s okay,” he quickly let go before looking away. his wings flutter quietly and he plays with his fingers. “we should check on scar.” he spoke after a moment, remembering what was happening. he makes his way into scar’s home, frowning when seeing the elf, holding his head.

“oh.. hey,” scar smiles weakly. grian returns it.

“hey.. how do you feel?” he frowns softly after.

“hurts..” scar frowns back, sighing. “i’m sorry,” he spoke. grian shook his head.

“it’s okay,” he smiles. “it’s just a good thing mumbo was there,”

“why’s that?” scar watches him curiously.

“my wings were too wet, i couldn’t fly.” he replies, playing with his fingers quietly. he didn’t mention the fact that they still hurt a lot. it took scar a moment, rubbing his head with furrowed brows before he began to smile. he looks to mumbo.

“aw, thank you!” he smiles happily at him. mumbo nods.

“of course,” he chuckles softly.

“i had to message in chat that you were there so we wouldn’t have to deal with an angry xisuma,” scar chuckles as he moves about to sit, still holding his head. mumbo just watches him curiously.

“what? why would he be angry?” he questions. scar looks up and watches him, glancing to grian before looking back to mumbo. “you’re old enough to do what you want,” he watches him. “right?” grian just watches mumbo before shrugging.

“i mean.. i guess.” he smiles. mumbo chuckles.

“i can—i’m thirteen. so is scar,” he glances over at the elf.

“yeah!” he gives a happy nod. grian just smiles.

“i’ll be thirteen soon,” he plays with his fingers quietly. scar smiles.

“well, regardless of his age, it’s because x is an overprotective dad,” he grins. “well… because uh… cause.. grian, you know…” he trails off, knowing he’d have to say it because, no, mumbo didn’t know. “he won’t respawn.”

“what? why’s that?” mumbo questions. that was strange—everybody here could respawn, why wouldn’t grian?

“it’s.. weird technical stuff.” scar shrugs. “something about code.. hey! still up to watch the stars?” he smiles happily.

“scar.. as much as i’d like to stay, you should probably lie down..” mumbo watches scar worriedly. he did hit his head hard enough to literally die—those after affects definitely weren’t fun. and scar knew that, just nodding in defeat.

“alright.. but promise you’ll come back tomorrow! we can hang more,”

“alright.. i’ll come back to hang once i’m free,” mumbo chuckles softly. scar smiles happily.

“yay!” he shifts to stand with a wince. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i think i need to lie down.” he frowns. mumbo just nods and chuckles when he had stepped closer, pulling the elf into a tense hug. scar smiles happily. “see you tomorrow!”

“yep,” mumbo smiles and pulls from the hug, turning to grian after. he waved. “see you,”

“bye,” grian replies quietly, watching him. he watches as he left, his wings twitching. he found it odd how he almost didn’t want him to go.. though, he did have to admit he was quite tired.

“are you tired?” scar spoke as if he’d read his mind. grian nods in response, yawning as if to prove himself. scar just smiles softly. “we can go to bed, we’ll hang more tomorrow!” scar giggles. grian just nods quietly. he follows scar to the bedroom before sitting onto the bed quietly, pulling his knees closer. he thought to himself as scar had prepared for bed, crawling in beside him afterwards. “grian?”

the avian glances over, frowning. he just shifts to lie down and curl up. scar frowns worriedly, lying back as well and rubbing his head. “are you just tired?” he spoke softly, eyes closed. grian shrugs, closing his eyes to hopefully stop the tears. though, they hadn’t gone unnoticed. scar shifts to sit up and look at him. “grian?” he questions softly. grian just curls up tighter.

“i miss xisuma..” he picks at his fingers nervously, curling up tighter. he felt.. unsecure. he knew scar wouldn’t ever hurt him and it wasn’t like that—he just.. always felt safe with xisuma and with him not here, he…

“oh..” scar bit his lip before smiling. “it’ll be okay! we’ll see him first thing in the morning, remember?” he softly pats his arm. grian had leaned into the touch before curling up more when he’d pulled away. he felt alone without him.. he hated feeling alone, especially at night.

grian felt everything fall more when scar had turned out the lights. he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling his chest get tight. he grips onto his own hands, feeling the tears fall as breathing became difficult.

“grian?” scar frowns and softly moves to rub grian’s arm. “are you okay?”

“no..” grian chokes out, sitting up. he let out a shaky sob as he tries to intake air, it being difficult to breathe, breaths uneven as he fell closer to panic.

“hey.. it’s okay,” scar frowns and sits up as well, softly moving a hand to rub his back, avoiding his wings. grian immediately leans into the touch, moving to curl closer into scar. the elf smiles softly, moving to wrap both arms around him in a hug. “everything’s okay.. breathe,” he spoke softly, rubbing his shoulder. grian kept his eyes closed as he shifts to cling onto scar, burying his face into him. his scent was obviously different, but he supposed it was okay..

grian tried to stop himself, though he’s unable to as he begins to cry into his shoulder. scar kept him close, hugging him as he rubs his shoulder. “everything’s okay,” his voice remained calm, softly resting his head onto grian’s. the avian remained close, clinging onto him and refusing to let go for even a second as he cries.

scar moves to slowly lie back, pulling grian with him. grian cries quietly into him, though he had slowly began to calm, his breathing more even. he sniffles and furrows his brows, eyes closed

crying had always made grian tired. he rests his head against scar’s chest, keeping his eyes closed. he sniffles and dries the tears that tickled his face as they fell. he hugs scar tighter, clinging closer and shifting so he could rest his wings. scar stares up into the darkness, keeping his arms around him. he brings one hand up to softly stroke through his hair, unable to help himself from smiling more when grian had leaned up into his hand.

scar stares down at grian through the darkness, continuing to softly pet his hair. he kept his other hand on his back before hesitating. he moves so he could softly rest his hand against his wing, his smile beginning to grow. it twitches beneath his touch, though grian hadn’t said anything. he softly strokes the feathers, delicately petting his wings.

grian sniffles. his wings twitch when he felt scar touch them. he almost wanted to tell him not to. to pull away and be upset that he hadn’t asked for permission. though he didn’t—he was much too tired to do so, too drained from crying. and, it almost felt nice due to the pain they had felt lately, scar’s hands being as delicate as they were, treating them like the most expensive thing ever. that and he didn’t want to be alone. he hated being alone, especially at night.

he closes his eyes to sleep, yawning. he leans up into the hand in his hair once more, falling closer to sleep each moment. more tears filled his eyes and he sniffles, curling up closer into scar and clinging close, silently crying himself into a deep sleep. scar smiles and softly ruffles his hair, humming quietly. he closes his eyes and yawns, feeling close to sleep himself. it wasn’t long until he’d passed out as well, fingers buried into his wings.

xisuma laughs softly at the movie, smiling. he glances over when he’d felt a soft weight on his shoulder, smiling when seeing keralis had fallen asleep. he chuckles and looks back to the movie, not minding and not wanting to wake him. 

he tenses when hearing a ping, immediately reaching for his comms. death message… he looks at it and immediately stands, waking keralis in the process.

“shashwamm..” he spoke sleepily, stretching and yawning before looking up at him.

“i’m sorry— i have to go,” xisuma immediately spoke, quickly shifting about his base in hurried preparation. he looks back to his comms before he’d left though, slowly exhaling at the message sent by scar afterwards. he sighs and lightly shakes his head, slowly moving to sit back onto the sofa.

“is everything alright?” keralis questions, rubbing an eye.

“i.. yeah.. mumbo is with him.” xisuma sighs and leans back into the soft cushions, eyes closing.

“you’re worrying again,” keralis spoke, frowning quietly. the admin just frowns.

“i know.. i can’t help but worry when scar dies. i never know..” he trails off.

“i know,” keralis spoke softly. “he’s okay,”

“he is,” xisuma closes his eyes. “i can’t help.. not trusting scar when it comes to him dying. i never know where grian is, or if he’s safe if scar is at risk…”

“i know,” keralis yawns and sleepily rests his head back against his shoulder,  closing his eyes. “he’ll be okay… wanna continue the movie?” he glances up at him. xisuma just nods, gaze on the tv screen mindlessly. he hated worrying. he hated the little trust he had when scar dies—if he wasn’t safe, how could he guarantee grian was?

he should just pay attention to the movie…  which kind of worked. he zones in and out as the movie continues. “it gets better every time i watch it,” keralis had spoke as he yawns and stretches, laughing softly as he brings xisuma back out of his head. 

“yeah,” xisuma smiles. he looks down at his hands before shifting to stand. “i- uh.. gonna start dinner,” he spoke, almost looking for an excuse to leave. maybe he needed to be alone. though, keralis stands and softly grabs his hand.

“why don’t i cook dinner tonight?” he smiles. “just for us. grian is with scar, right?”

“yeah.. you don’t have to,” xisuma gives his hand a soft squeeze. keralis returns it.

“i want to.” he replies with a sweet smile. xisuma just returns it and nods softly. “if you insist. i’ll make the tea.”

xisuma gets the tea going before sitting at the table. he grabs his book and opens it up, sighing softly. he flips through the pages to one of the last sections, leaning back in his chair as he reads. avians were really interesting… there was so much xisuma had no idea about and never would have guessed on.

he sips his tea as he reads, humming softly to himself. he looks up when keralis had sat, smiling softly at him. “it’ll be ready soon,” he had spoke. xisuma smiles and nods.

“great,” he watches him, looking back down to the book after. keralis watches him before looking down to the table, eyes finding the cover of the book he read next.

“is it interesting?” keralis spoke after a moment. he almost didn’t, not wanting to interrupt his reading. though, xisuma just smiles softly up at him.

“it is. i think it’s cool and important to learn about grian’s species. i think it’ll be helpful,” he looks back down to the pages. “it’ll help me to properly make sure he’s healthy, too.”

“his wings?” keralis questions.

“yeah, that and other things he’ll go through as he ages.” he hums and looks over the words on the page, only taking in a few. “there’s just things that’s important to look for as he’s maturing, you know? like, growing pains in the wings and other things that’ll probably be uncomfortable. i just want him to know he’s not dying when he starts going through these things,” he chuckles softly. keralis just smiles at him.

“you’re really good to him,” he spoke. he smiles when xisuma meets his gaze, studying him.

“i definitely try,” he replies after a moment.

“you succeed,” keralis nods. “he really likes you.. you take good care of him—and everyone, really.” he smiles. “i just thought you needed to hear that. you don’t hear it often,”

“i don’t but.. it’s one of those things that i just kinda know is true, you know?” xisuma smiles.

“i know, but you should still hear it more often. i just thought it would be good to hear.”

“it is—and it means a lot. thank you,” he smiles up at him, smiling more when a timer went off, watching keralis stand.

“hungry?” he smiles sweetly at him, moving to the stove. xisuma just smiles. keralis was too kind. making dinner tonight and telling him nice things—keralis was too kind.

he chuckles and thanks him when a plate is sat down in front of him, smiling up at him. “take care of yourself,” keralis smiles sweetly. xisuma just chuckles, going to speak before keralis gave him a look. “i notice. other people may not, but i do.” he spoke softly. xisuma just looks down and thanks him for the food. keralis sits back into his spot and grabs his own fork. “you’re welcome,” he smiles sweetly.

the silence lasted a bit while they ate before xisuma had spoke up. “it’s weird having dinner without grian,” he spoke. he didn’t like it. it almost felt lonely.. aside from keralis being here. keralis just smiles softly. he found it sweet how attached he got to grian. he knew he’d make a good parental figure. he was always so caring and selfless, always putting those he cared most before himself. that’s what he loved most about xisuma, though he wished he’d also look after himself, too.

“you’ll see him again tomorrow,” he smiles at him. the admin nods.

“i know,” he sips his tea. “i just hope he’s doing okay.” he sighs softly. “he.. doesn’t usually do good when he’s away from me too long.”

“it’s not long enough for him to die,” keralis chuckles. “he’ll be okay,”

“yeah…. he’ll be back tomorrow,” xisuma smiles, almost as if to remind himself. keralis smiles back.

“yeah! he’s having a lot of fun with scar, i bet. he’ll be happy to see you,” he keeps the energy positive, something he knew xisuma appreciated and often did himself. there was no point in being upset about everything—he always found the light in every situation. he loved that about xisuma.

“are you leaving after dinner?” xisuma had spoken up after a moment, glancing up to meet his gaze. keralis watches him quietly.

“do you want me to?” he spoke. xisuma just chuckles and looks down.

“well..” he sips his tea. “i wouldn’t mind for some company.” he spoke, not looking up. keralis felt his smile grow and he hums.

“i don’t have anything going on,” he nods, taking another bite of his food. xisuma looks up and smiles. keralis returns it.

dinner had went on in comfortable silence, the two sharing thoughts every now and then. xisuma stood to clean up from dinner, though keralis had his own plate, refusing to let the admin do it alone. he just chuckles, liking the assistance. keralis was too kind.

the two cleaned up together, sharing kind smiles and glances. they had made it to the living room afterwards, settling onto the sofa. “down for a couple episodes before bed?” keralis spoke. xisuma smiles.

“yeah,” he agrees. he turned the show on and keralis dimmed the lights. he settles back beside xisuma after. the admin smiles and starts the show.

a few episodes they watched as planned, though xisuma had dozed off in the middle of it. keralis looks over when he noticed, his smile growing. he chuckles and watches him quietly before softly sighing and looking back to the tv.

the credits begin to roll up the screen and xisuma shifts. he sits up and stretches, yawning as he spoke. “what did i miss?” he hums softly before shifting to stand. “you can sleep in my room if you’ll like, i’ll take the sofa,” he spoke. keralis just rises with him.

“no—don’t worry, shashwammy. i’ll take the sofa.” he smiles sweetly. though, xisuma just refuses.

“nope, you’re my guest. it’s only fair if—“

“how about we both take the bed?” keralis spoke. xisuma blinks, though he just shrugs. why not?

“only if you’re okay with that. i don’t kick in my sleep,” he chuckles.

“good, neither do i.” keralis smiles happily. xisuma returns it before making his way back to his bedroom. he shifts about the room as he prepares for bed, yawning and settling under the blankets. keralis had joined him after a moment.

“would you like some pyjamas?” xisuma looks over. the other just shrugs and smiles.

“sure,”

“it’ll be more comfy,” xisuma stands to retrieve an extra set of pyjamas. he hands them over before settling back into bed. he looks down at his communicator quietly, looking through past messages and checking for new ones. grian seemed safe—good. he sighs and sets the communicator aside once he felt the bed dip, shifting to turn out the light.

settling under the blankets, he stares up at the ceiling through the dark. he felt keralis shifting beside him, thinking quietly.

“you awake, shashwammy?” he heard him whisper into the dark. xisuma just nods before speaking.

“yeah,” he responds. he plays with his fingers quietly.

“are you worrying?”

“.. yeah.” he exhales, closing his eyes. they open again when he felt a soft arm wrap around him.

“you don’t have to worry.. i’d say he’s asleep by now,” his voice was gentle and reassuring. xisuma smiles.

“i’m sure too..” he sighs. “i worry a lot at night. it’s irrational, though. there’s nothing to worry about..” he frowns. there wasn’t anything to worry about, yet his head was still full. he sighs.

“anything you want to talk about?” keralis questions softly, voice remaining quiet. xisuma bit his lip.

“it’s.. nothing to worry about,” he spoke after a moment. 

“okay.. just know i’m always here for you, alright?” he felt keralis softly pat his arm. xisuma lets his eyes finally fall close, exhaling quietly. 

“thank you,” he responds, though the lack of response let him know keralis had already fallen asleep. he should too. though, it wasn’t exactly easy.  he let his mind race until he was eventually falling asleep, closing his eyes. everything became cloudy with sleep, and he was slowly falling off into a hazy dream.

Chapter Text

everything was dark. grian felt like he was nowhere, felt like he was nothing. it didn’t make any sense…crying out was tempting, though that’s when he saw them. it was them again—the avian and the human. they were familiar. grian didn’t know them, he didn’t think. had they met? had he been with them before?

grian tries searching for answers. he found nothing, having nowhere to look, nothing to search. he tries desperately to get to them, though once again, that’s when he’s suddenly pulled from the void, ripped back into reality, watching as they fade away…

grian gasps and quickly sits up, immediately breaking down. “it’s okay..” scar frowns, already awake as he hugs him, trying to calm him down. “i’ve got you..” he calms, rubbing his back. grian cries into his chest, body trembling. why does he have such weird dreams? it didn’t make sense! who were they? were they important? this was the second time he’d dreamt about them, certainly they had meaning…

he clings to scar as he sobs, no longer from the oddity and terrifying familiarity of the strangers—xisuma wasn’t here. he was gone. grian didn’t like being away from him for a moment, especially when he woke up like this.. not only that but he felt awful. his wings and his stomach—he wanted to go home.

scar frowns and rocks softly with grian, hugging him closer. “hey.. it’s okay, breathe.. you’re okay,” he spoke softly, frowning. “it’s okay! xisuma is on his way,” he assures, softly rubbing his back and stroking his hair, anything to hopefully help. though, grian just clung onto scar and cried, refusing to let go, to be alone..

it wasn’t long before scar had heard a knock on the door. he smiles sweetly at grian and softly shifts. “there he is!” he spoke with a smile. grian shifts and stands and scar does so as well, grabbing grian’s hand to lead him downstairs. once the door is open grian is immediately clinging onto xisuma and hugging him tight, crying more against him.

“oh grian..” xisuma softly hugs him, keeping him close and rubbing his back. he looks to scar. “what happened?”

“he just woke up crying..” scar frowns. “i assumed because he missed you,”

“i’m here,” xisuma assures, smiling softly down at him. poor thing.. he continues rubbing his back. “you’re alright—hey, no more crying, come on.” he strokes a hand through his hair, looking down at him, voice remaining gentle. grian coughs softly, face buried into him. xisuma furrows his brows and pats his back. “you’re alright,” he shifts to kneel down and properly hug grian close. the avian clings closer, burying his face into his shoulder. xisuma smiles and stands, arms hooking under grian’s legs to lift him and hold him to his chest.

“thank you for looking after him, scar. i hope you two had fun,” he smiles. scar nods, smiling.

“we did!” he looks at grian worriedly. “is he okay?.”

“he will be, don’t worry.” xisuma nods, hugging grian close. he hiccups and sniffles, face hidden and arms around xisuma tight, hands tight in his clothes as he clings close, no plans of letting go anytime soon. “we’ll see you in a bit scar,” xisuma smiles to the elf before turning to leave.

“okay.. bye grian!” scar smiles softly at grian once xisuma had turned. the avian waves quietly, curling closer into xisuma and sniffling. he hides his face and stares at scar as he’s carried away, wings twitching.

grian nuzzles against his shoulder once scar was out of sight, closing his eyes. he sniffles and hugs him more, wings fluttering quietly as he relaxed. xisuma smiles and watches them, softly hugging grian closer. “are you still crying?” he asks softly. he waits for a reply before lifting an eyebrow, glancing back to see his eyes closed, having fallen fast asleep. the admin chuckles and smiles, keeping him close as he continues walking.

once home xisuma carries grian inside and to the bedroom. he sits onto the bed and pulls the blankets back, leaning down to rest grian against the pillows. he gently unhooks his fingers from his clothes where he’d held on, smiling. he covers him up, stroking a soft hand through his hair. “i’m going to make breakfast, alright? i’ll be just downstairs,” he spoke softly, though he knew grian was asleep. he ruffles his hair before standing and making his way out of the room.

once in the kitchen he sighs and moves about to prepare breakfast. he gets the eggs started, staring down at them as they fried. he really did worry about grian sometimes.. especially when he seemed as upset as he did. it broke his heart. though, he just assumed it was because he had been gone for so long, the imprint and everything. it made sense.

he turns to look into the living room when hearing shuffling about, watching as keralis stood. “did you fall back asleep?” he asks with a smile. the latter just shrugs, yawning.

“maybe,” he makes his way into the kitchen and sits, watching xisuma cook quietly. “how’s grian?” he spoke after a moment.

“he’s.. asleep now. but he was crying when i got there,” xisuma spoke with a frown. “i worry about him,”

“i’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.. he just missed you is all,” keralis smiles softly. xisuma just shrugs and nods.

“yeah,” he sighs and closes his eyes. he continues preparing breakfast, plating the eggs as he went. “he didn’t act like he got too much sleep last night.”

“he probably stayed up late with scar,” keralis spoke with a reassuring smile. xisuma thought for a moment before nodding.

“yeah.. yeah, i’m sure.” he nods. that’s all! he slept well, he just—stayed up late. he’s used to going to bed early. that’s all.

once breakfast was ready he sets the table before smiling at keralis. “i’m going to go wake him, see if he’s hungry.” he spoke as he makes his way to the bedroom. he softly opens the door, peeking in. he frowns upon seeing grian. he looks up when xisuma had entered the room, pupils more dilated than usual. he’d taken the blankets and pillows and piled and wrapped them around the spot he lied, staring up at xisuma. he rested his wings against the blankets, stretched out not like he’d normally have them.

xisuma steps closer. “grian, you feeling alright?” he spoke. grian just nods quietly, curling up tighter and shifting more. “are you hungry?” xisuma stands in front of the bed and frowns. this couldn’t be good.

“a little,” grian replies, wings fluttering lightly. he could eat. he felt like he was starving, actually.

“come on, then. breakfast is ready.” xisuma smiles sweetly, reaching out to softly ruffle his hair. grian immediately leans up into the contact, eyes closing as his wings flutter happily. he shifts from his little comfy spot he’d made on the bed before frowning and curling back up, resting his wings back out like he’d previously had them. xisuma looks back at him curiously and grian just shakes his head. “what’s wrong?” he frowns and steps closer, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“i.. f-feel weird, and.. my wings hurt.” grian replies, voice shaky. xisuma just softly pats his hair, watching as grian immediately leaned into the contact before shifting out of his makeshift nest to cuddle up against him. xisuma pulls him into a soft hug, being careful of his wings, and softly rubs his back.

“do you feel sick?” xisuma prompts, though he was sure he knew what was wrong now. if the nest hadn’t given it away, the way he felt surely had. grian just shakes his head before shrugging, frowning more. he closes his eyes and clings onto xisuma, burying his face into his shoulder.

“i don’t feel okay.” he spoke after a moment.

“will eating help?” xisuma continues to softly rub his back. grian sniffles and shrugs, keeping close to xisuma. “okay, well i’ll go get your plate, alright? at least try to eat some,” he smiles reassuringly. grian just nods and shifts to lie back in the pile of blankets, shifting to curl back up and stare at the door, wings resting back out like they previously had. “i’ll be right back,” xisuma smiles sweetly before leaving the room. grian just nods, a soft whimper escaping. he just hoped this ended soon.. whatever it was. he didn’t like it.

xisuma makes his way into the kitchen with a frown. “is everything alright?” keralis had spoken, looking up at him. the admin shrugs.

“uh.. yeah, it’s fine. grian’s just.. would rather have breakfast in bed, is all.” he spoke, avoiding keralis’ gaze as he grabs grian’s plate and makes his way back to the bedroom. he enters the room, softly closing the door behind himself.

grian glances back up at xisuma, the smell of the breakfast actually seeming to help a little. he hoped the food would help his sickness to go away. he felt his wings flutter when xisuma had sat back beside the blanket pile, shifting to rest his head into his lap instead of on a nearby pillow. “could you sit up to eat?” xisuma asks softly, watching grian quietly. the avian just felt his wings twitch, shaking his head after a moment. the admin chuckles. “you’ll have to,” he smiles softly as he pets his hair. grian leans up into the hand happily.

he shifts quietly, pulling his knees close to his chest and accepting the plate of food, leaning close into xisuma. he began to eat quietly, eyes closing at the taste, wings fluttering. xisuma was such a good cook. the food was always so good. he rests his head onto his shoulder quietly as he ate, refusing to move away for even a moment. he was so glad xisuma was here.. he didn’t like being alone right now. the physical contact helped in an odd way—he didn’t really understand it.

grian was finished with his breakfast after a bit, yawning softly. he leans closer and pushes his now empty plate away, nuzzling back against his arm softly. xisuma smiles and sets the plate aside, hugging grian close. “feel better?” he questions, softly stroking his hair.

“a little,” grian mutters, eyes closed. “i still feel weird.. i don’t want to be alone.” he adds, curling closer into xisuma, if that was even possible. the admin chuckles softly.

“i can stay for a bit,” he smiles, ruffling his hair more. he watches as grian shifts more to lie down, curling up like he had before and resting his head onto xisuma’s lap rather than on the pillows. he stretches his wings back out, feeling them twitch before relaxing more, keeping them spread out. “do they hurt at all?” xisuma spoke after a moment. grian frowns and nods, eyes closing.

“can you help?” grian spoke after a moment.

“clean them?” xisuma looks down at him, softly stroking his hair. grian sniffles and nods, eyes closed.

“just.. be careful. they hurt and they’re.. sensitive..” he spoke as he relaxes back against him. xisuma smiles and shifts to get easier access to his wings, softly beginning to fix feathers. grian closes his eyes tight, burying his face further against xisuma.

“aren’t they always though?” he tests.

“yeah. but.. m-more so today..” grian frowns. he closes his eyes tight. he didn’t understand.. not only were his wings way more sensitive than usual but he just didn’t feel well overall. maybe he was getting sick again…

“why’s that?” xisuma watches grian, seeing that he seemed quite oblivious. the avian shrugs in response. he tightens his hands as he felt xisuma’s fingers continue about his wings, exhaling slowly and shakily. xisuma almost worried, though he knew why grian was feeling the way he was. he just continues to clean his wings quietly. they flutter and twitch as he does so, grian letting out a comfortable hum every now and then.

grian stayed curled up, enjoying the hands moving about his wings. he rubs his face and shifts to get more comfortable, lying happily against xisuma. once his eyes fell closed he didn’t stop sleep from creeping up on him, allowing himself to fall to it, almost being quick to pass out.

xisuma softly exhales, staying with grian for a bit. he continues to softly preen his wings, making sure they were thoroughly cleaned. stroking a soft hand against the feathers, he slowly shifts to stand, careful not to wake him, before smiling. he gently brushed hair from his forehead before making his way out of the room, closing the door behind himself.

keralis looks up once he’s back in the kitchen, watching him. xisuma sits back at the table across from him, beginning to eat his own meal. “well?” he glances up when keralis spoke. he just watches him for a moment before looking back down.

“he’s fine,” he spoke. “just.. avian things. he’s fine, though.” he adds before continuing to eat. keralis lifts a curious eyebrow though he doesn’t question it as it could be personal.

“as long as he’s okay,” he offers a soft smile. xisuma nods.

“he is. he’s just… he’s okay.” he sighs and continues to eat quietly. it did worry him, but.. well, he was a growing avian—it happens. he just knew it would probably be a long week…

after breakfast, xisuma moves to clean up with the help of keralis. he smiles softly at him and thanks him for the help, finishing up the dishes. “i really do appreciate it,” he nods.

“it’s no problem,” keralis smiles. he grabs a towel and dries the last plate. he steps closer to xisuma who stood by the cabinet where the plates go, his smile growing. the admin glances over, smiling softly at him. “i should check on grian,” he says, though before he could move he hears a noise, both of their heads turning towards the doorway. “grian,” xisuma spoke, quickly stepping forwards. “what are you doing out of bed?” he spoke softly. grian just stares at the two, glancing between them. he felt his wings twitch and he steps closer to xisuma, burying his face against him, pressing close. the admin smiles and wraps his arms around him in a hug.

“are you feeling alright?” he asks softly, rubbing his back, being careful of his wings. “should you be resting?”

“didn’t want to be alone,” grian sniffles softly, clinging close. xisuma chuckles and hugs him.

“you don’t have to be alone,” xisuma frowns a bit, hugging him closer. the last thing he wanted was for grian to feel alone during this. the avian just nods quietly.

“.. is scar coming over?” he asks after a moment. xisuma frowns.

“no.” he says before clearing his throat. “uh— he um.. might. visit.” he exhales and closes his eyes. “i let him know you were too sick to hang out today.” he brings a hand up to softly stroke through his hair. grian smiles and happily leans up into it, wings fluttering.

“but i feel fine enough to hang,” grian glances up at him. “we don’t have to leave here,” xisuma notes how his pupils were still dilated, being more clingy than usual as well.

“not until you don’t feel weird anymore,” he spoke, continuing to pet his hair. he supposed he should tell him what it meant later. grian just pouts though he nods, pressing his face back into xisuma.

“i miss him.” he closes his eyes. the admin hugs him more.

“i know. you’ll see him again soon, don’t worry.” he softly assures, sighing. grian felt his wings flutter more as he stays close to xisuma, not daring move. he liked hugs, especially right now. his arms felt nice against his skin and hair, he didn’t want him to leave. “do you mind waiting in the living room while we finish cleaning up from dinner?” he spoke, stroking a soft hand through his hair. grian shakes his head, wings twitching. xisuma chuckles and kneels down to properly hug grian, the avian’s smile growing wide as he hugs back, clinging close. “come on now,” xisuma hums, smiling. he hugs him close.

“fine,” grian huffs, though he’s smiling as he stays close. his wings twitch more as he pulls away, immediately wanting to lean back into the contact. though he doesn’t, making his way to the living room instead. xisuma sighs softly before looking back to keralis. without speaking a word, he offers a soft smile before he moves back around the kitchen to clean up. keralis just smiles at him and moves to do the same.

grian had sat in his usual spot in front of the fireplace, bringing his wing into his lap. he’s quick to start preening, wincing more at how they were more sensitive than usual. he didn’t understand why he’d felt this way lately.. maybe just because he’s growing. yeah! they get sensitive when they grow. they’d be really big and pretty once he’s grown! then mumbo would really like them. he didn’t understand why he cared so much about mumbo’s opinion. it confused him.

“grian?” xisuma had spoken after a bit, taking a seat next to him. grian glances over before scooting closer, burying his face into his shoulder before returning to his wing. “do you feel alright?” xisuma questions, watching him quietly. he expected the excessive preening.

“‘m fine.” grian responds, focus mainly on his wings. they would look so good when he was done.

“you sure?” xisuma tilts his head. he narrows his eyes when he had gotten a nod in response. he just hums. “would you like help?” this made grian hesitate. his wings twitch and he just nods, scooting closer to xisuma.

“p-please be careful.. they’re still sensitive,” he spoke, playing with his fingers nervously. xisuma lifts a brow and begins to gently fix feathers. grian frowns and closes his eyes tight. he hoped he wasn’t sick too long, he missed scar and mumbo.

xisuma watches grian, seeing that he seemed quite oblivious. he knew he should explain it soon, it was probably important for him to know—he was the one going through it, after all. grian tightens his hands as he felt xisuma’s fingers continue about his wings, exhaling slowly. he jumps up when hearing a knock on the door, wings twitching quietly. xisuma softly pats grian’s shoulder. “i’ll be right back,” he spoke before going to the door. grian frowns at the lack of contact to his wings, shifting to curl up and keep them stretched out like before, waiting rather impatiently for him to get back.

“hey x!” scar greets with a wide smile. grian is quick to immediately jump up and run to the door upon hearing the elf’s voice, tackling scar in a close hug. “oh—hi!” he smiles happily and hugs him back.

“hi,” grian mutters back quietly, nuzzling against his shoulder. he felt his feathers ruffle up, fluttering as he takes in the elf’s scent.

“oooh! your wings are fluffy today!” scar smiles widely. grian felt them flutter.

“do you like them?” he asks quietly, trying to make them appear bigger and prettier. if only he’d gotten done preening.. scar just smiles more.

“i do!” he smiles sweetly.

“you can touch them if you want,” grian spoke, finally pulling away from the hug. scar just smiles before looking over when xisuma had stepped up.

“i don’t think you should.” he spoke, eyeing scar. the elf just smiles before looking at grian. he supposed it made sense—he was never allowed to touch them before. why was grian suddenly okay with it? the avian frowns and forces a smile at scar.

“i’ll be back,” he spoke before leaving the room. he wanted out. he wanted xisuma and to not be alone.. he supposed there was a reason he didn’t want him seeing scar right now.. he’d just have to trust him, even if it didn’t make much sense to him now. he trusts xisuma…

scar lifts an eyebrow and looks at xisuma. “is he feeling okay?” he asks. the admin just exhales.

“of course. just.. avian things.” he spoke—and that’s all he’d say on the matter. “scar—grian isn’t able to hang out today.” he looks at him. “or any day at all this week.”

“i.. why?” scar’s expression fell into a frown.

“because.” xisuma stares him down. “it’ll make sense when you’re older.” he sighs and glances away. “he’s just not feeling well, is all. it just means he’s growing.”

“well… okay i guess.” scar frowns and sighs. “tell him i said to get better soon,” he forces a smile before turning to leave. xisuma frowns and closes the door, sighing. how is he meant to explain that? he wasn’t even sure if scar would understand. maybe he would. either way, it was personal to grian and he wouldn’t want him upset.

he makes his way back to the bedroom where he expected grian to be, carefully opening the door. “grian?” he enters and closes the door behind himself. “i’m sorry,”

“it’s okay,” grian spoke, staring up at him. his wings twitch.

“i don’t.. know how to explain it in a way you’ll understand.” xisuma steps closer and sits next to the pile of blankets. grian immediately shifts to rest his head against him.

“it’s okay,” he closes his eyes. he was just happy xisuma was here now. he didn’t want to be alone.

“it just means you’re getting older. it’s a good thing,”  xisuma began. “i told scar you’d be better in about a week, because that’s usually how long this’ll last.”

“how long what will last?” grian glances up at him, wings fluttering quietly. xisuma just shifts to reach out and continue helping him preen from earlier.

“you growing.” he watches grian quietly. the avian just nods, not questioning further as he melts into the blankets as he continues to help clean his wings. he liked them being clean, they were uncomfortable when they weren’t.

“‘suma?” grian had spoke after a moment, voice small. the admin looks down, taking note of how small and innocent he seemed in that moment. it almost hurt his heart that he was growing and would probably have his own base next season. he was happy for him, but at the same time he almost didn’t want to let go.

“hm?”

“i love you..” grian kept his eyes closed, nuzzling softly against him as he stays close. xisuma almost wanted to cry, though he doesn’t. he pets a soft hand against his feathers.

“i love you too, grian.”

the week had gone by like that day had. grian stayed in bed for most of it, though he came out for dinner most nights. xisuma stayed with him most hours he was awake, not liking how he hated being alone. he didn’t want to put him through that; he wasn’t sure what he felt, but he wanted to be there to help him every moment in any way he could.

it had taken pretty much that week for grian to feel better. he’d realised he wasn’t “sick” anymore when he’d woken up and his wings felt okay. he smiles happily and jumps up before xisuma was even awake, fluttering his wings. he felt like he could go flying! the pain last week was terrible, he was glad it was over. he waited for xisuma to wake up, lying next to him and staying close.

xisuma had began stirring at his usual wake up time, surprised to find grian awake. he smiles softly at him. “good morning there,” he spoke.

“good morning,” grian smiles. “i feel a lot better,” he shifts to snuggle close into him, his wings fluttering. xisuma smiles.

“i’m really glad,” he strokes a soft hand up through his hair. grian happily leans into it. “hungry?” he chuckles. grian’s smile widens and he nods, shifting to stand. he’d followed xisuma to the kitchen, sitting at the table while he prepared breakfast. he grabs his journal and smiles as he began to draw. he draws some clouds quietly, adding in a rainbow. he began to draw a pond that turned into one similar to scar’s. he missed scar. hopefully he’d get to see him today!

he continued to draw until breakfast was ready, xisuma serving him with a smile. grian happily began to eat, wings fluttering. he smiles when xisuma joined him at the table, continuing to eat. “can i see scar today?” he asks, practically vibrating with excitement. xisuma just chuckles at him.

“if you feel good enough to,”

“i do!” grian immediately replies with a wide smile.

“alright,” xisuma eats quietly. “i don’t see why not,”

“my growing pains are gone, i feel a lot better.” grian spoke as he ate. xisuma nods, watching him.

“that’s good,” he glances at his communicator quietly, humming to himself. he taps his fingers against the table. “grian,”

“hm?” grian glances up, staring at him as he takes another bite of the waffles. he hums happily at the taste.

“i’m going to be busy today,” he spoke, glancing down at his plate. “do you think you’ll be alright with scar all day?”

“all day?” grian felt his wings twitch.

“you haven’t seen him in a week,” xisuma chuckles. “i have plans-“

“with who?”

“it’s really important to me,” xisuma watches him. “you can have another sleepover with scar, can’t you?”

“i missed you too much last time..” grian frowns and looks down.

“grian,” xisuma smiles and reaches over to softly rub his arm. “i’m sure you won’t even notice, you’ll be having too much fun with scar.”

“i noticed last time,” grian glances up. he shifts his hand to hold onto xisuma’s arm.

“grian,” the admin smiles reassuringly. “it’s something i’ve been putting off for a while now… it’s important it gets finished,” he lifts an eyebrow. grian stares at him before pausing. he felt his wings twitch and he looks down, continuing to eat as he fell silent. “grian?” he didn’t say anything, continuing to eat quietly.  he was glad he would get to work he was putting off but.. he felt his smile fade. he didn’t want to lose him.. he had heard about him being super busy and often times disappearing… what if he just left one day? he kept his gaze down. “grian, what’s wrong?” the avian shakes his head. he couldn’t tell him how he felt.. he would be so upset. he just shakes his head and finishes eating quietly, almost forcing the food down with the sudden loss of his appetite.

xisuma just exhales and finishes his own breakfast. he watches as grian draws once he’d finished, smiling at his art. he really was talented, he loved the things he created.

he stands once he’s finished with his own breakfast, moving about to clean up. he glances at grian every now and then, watching as he continued to draw quietly. he just smiles and makes his way over, softly stroking his hair. grian is unable to stop the smile, leaning up into his hand. “ready to go see scar?” he asks with a smile. grian felt his wings twitch.  “grian,”

“it’s fine. i can go,” grian stands, wings drooping. xisuma frowns and moves to stand in front of grian, holding onto his arms. he kneels down to his level.

“grian.” he spoke, voice stern. the avian immediately felt his gaze fall, tears filling his eyes. xisuma furrows his brows and pulls him close. “come here—never say that. ever.” he felt tears of his own fill his eyes. grian sniffles and immediately leans close, hugging onto him tight. xisuma blinks away his own tears, hugging grian. “it isn’t like that and it never will be like that. never ever think that way.”

“okay..” grian replies, voice shaky. xisuma hugs him closer, resting his head into his hair.

“grian,” xisuma hugs him close, exhaling. he felt his grip tighten on him and he returns it. “i’m here and i’m always going to be here. nothing will ever change that. not a single thing.”

“okay..” grian felt the tears fall and he hugs him tighter.

“you’re never losing me, grian. i promise.” he rocks with him, rubbing his back and sniffling. grian hugs back tight, bottom lip trembling.

“i love you..”

“i love you too. i always will.”

grian stayed close to xisuma on the way to scar’s base. he hugs him immediately once they’re outside, almost refusing to let go. xisuma chuckles and rubs his back. “grian, look at me please.” he spoke as he kneeled down. grian looks up at him, drying his eyes quietly. “you have fun with scar, okay?” he softly rubs his shoulder. grian just nods. “don’t you worry about anything else.” he smiles sweetly. grian sniffles and nods more.

“grian!” the two turn when scar shouts at them, waving happily. xisuma smiles reassuringly at grian before he stands. the elf is pulling him into a tight hug, which he softly returns. “i missed you!!” scar giggles, lifting grian up off his feet as he hugs him. the avian began to smile and giggle as he’s lifted, hugging onto scar tighter.

“i missed you too!” he smiles. his wings flutter once he’s back on the ground. he turns back to xisuma after and frowns a bit, his wings twitching.

“i’ll be back first thing in the morning, alright?” he assures, opening his arms. grian immediately runs into them, hugging onto him tight. xisuma smiles and softly strokes his hair.

“first thing?” grian glances up at him. he smiles down at him warmly.

“first thing.” he nods. grian smiles and hugs him back tighter, hiding his face. the hug breaks after a moment and scar smiles, waving as he’d walked away.

“bye!” he calls with a giggle. grian just frowns as he watches him walk off, his wings drooping. he always hated watching him walk away, even if he had complete confidence he was coming back.. he looks over when feeling a soft hand against his shoulder, smiling and giggling as scar’s pulling him into another hug. “i missed you!” the elf laughs as he hugs grian close. he just smiles and hugs scar back before looking back to where xisuma had gone. he frowns again.

“i missed you too,” he replies quietly. scar just smiles happily.

“hey—we should build today! i had a really great idea while you were sick—a few, actually!” he giggles and grabs his hand, softly turning. grian smiles at him before looking back towards the path one last time before following scar quietly. “so i was thinking we could build a tree and a treehouse! the perfect place to tell secrets,” he giggles. grian began to smile. he actually liked that idea.

“i like that idea,” he nods. scar claps happily.

“yay! it’ll be fun!” scar happily grabs onto grian’s hand and pulls him along. grian can’t help but smile, wings rising back from where they drooped and fluttering happily. he’d missed this.

scar leads him into the room with all of the chests, humming to himself. “let’s see… we should use.. oak and spruce! we can blend them,” he grabs the logs before some leaves as well. grian watches him quietly. “and some birch for the treehouse maybe… hmm,” he shrugs. “i’ll bring it just in case.” he chuckles before smiling at grian. “ready!” he smiles widely before making his way outside and to the garden. grian follows.

“so.. i was thinking it could be like.. to the side of the garden, like in the back corner but not hidden of course. we could overlook the whole garden in the treehouse.” he smiles happily. grian nods along.

“i like that idea.” he spoke. “we could have it over to this side since the other side is kinda.. blocked off by the lake.” he gestures to the left side.

“ooo,” scar smiles more.

“you know? so that way it won’t look hidden behind the lake,” he shrugs.

“yeah!” scar claps. “okay, so i have this tree design i’d really like to use!” he spoke as he pulls out his journal to turn to the page with the tree sketches. “this one.” he grins. grian smiles.

“that’s my favourite one.” he smiles happily. scar claps.

“yay!“ he giggles and bounces happily. “we could have it done by sundown if we start now! it’d be really cool—“ he gasps. “we should have our sleepover in the treehouse!!”

“yeah!” grian smiles widely and nods. scar claps and sets the portable chest down.

“a- mayz -in.” he grins. “so.. which wood type should we start with?”

it had taken almost that amount of time. the sun had began to set as the two had finished the leaves. “there! we got the tree done at least.” scar smiles as he steps back to admire the build. grian nods.

“i like it,” he admires it with a smile. he really liked how they’d made scar’s drawing come to life.

“me too!” scar smiles happily over at him. “so— do you have a treehouse design? it’s okay if not!” he smiles. grian thought before holding out his hands.

“journal?” he smiles. scar giggles and claps, handing the journal over. grian had sat down in the grass so he could comfortably began the sketch. he drew the first thing that came to his mind when he thought of a treehouse before he remodelled some parts to better fit with the tree design they had. he thinks quietly to himself.

“i like it!” scar gasps as he sits down beside grian. the avian smiles.

“thank you,” he felt his wings flutter.

“hmm….. maybe,” scar bit his lip in thought before gently grabbing onto his hand and accepting the pen. he draws below grian’s drawing, sketching out his own modified version of the treehouse. grian smiles.

“that’s better, i like that one.” he nods happily. scar smiles widely.

“good, cause i do too.” he smiles at grian. the avian returns it before glancing away. “so.. should we build it out of..”

“oak with a birch roof?” grian glances over at him. scar hums in thought. he smiles.

“we’ll try a few things and see what looks best.” he nods before shifting to stand. grian agrees before doing the same.

after a few attempts, the treehouse had finally been completed. the moon was high in the sky, stars sprinkled about the dark expanse. “i love it.” scar marvels over the tree and treehouse they had created. his favourite part was how they did it together.

“me too! it turned out really good.” he smiles happily. scar nods.

“uhhuh!” he claps. “let’s go in! we can decorate the inside too!” he smiles happily before moving to the tree to begin climbing. grian giggles and jumps up, taking off in the sky. he flew about for a moment before swooping into the treehouse, landing gracefully in the middle of the floor. scar giggles and enters after a moment, crawling in and sitting on the floor with him.

“okay,” he places the portable box down on the floor. “i have some lanterns and carpet, and a little cooler for snacks.” he grins. grian smiles happily and nods. they’d taken some time to decorate the inside, lying carpet down and adding some lanterns, adding a couple on the outside of the treehouse as well, on the little porch that had been made. grian smiles happily at it. he loved it.

“all done!” scar claps. “i’m so happy!” he grins and smiles at grian. “thank you so much for building it with me! it means so much, and i had a ton of fun!” he smiles happily at the avian. grian smiles back.

“yeah! i had fun too,” he nods. scar smiles and watches him before gasping.

“hey! we should tell secrets,” he giggles, grinning mischievously. grian just snickers.

“okay. you go first.” he lifts his eyebrows. scar gasps.

“ooh! okay,” he scoots closer to where his and grian’s knees touch. he leans in close.

“i think mumbo has a secret crush,” he giggles before clapping.

“what?” grian laughs softly.

“he does!” scar laughs more. “he definitely does!”

“on who?” grian lifts an eyebrow. scar gasps and shakes his head.

“sworn to secrecy!” he laughs harder. grian just laughs—mostly at how funny scar found the whole thing—and lifts his eyebrows.

“scar, are you just gossiping?”

“no! oh no no, of course not!” scar laughs more. “i would never.” he grins. grian just rolls his eyes.

“okay—mumbo has a crush, sure.” he chuckles. “what else have you got?”

“hmm..” scar begins to smirk. “i know who else has a crush~” grian lifts an eyebrow.

“uh, who?”

“xisuma.” he nods. “oh yes—i’ve seen things.”

“what have you seen.?” grian felt his wings twitch. scar just laughs and the avian lifts an eyebrow, though he chuckles. he didn’t believe a word scar said, but he played along. 

“just—things!” scar waves his hands and shakes his head. “doesn’t matter! point is—he probably has a date. i know it for sure!” he giggles. 

“how do you know?” grian lifts an eyebrow. 

“i just do!” scar laughs. he grins. “okay! what about you—secrets!” he playfully smacks his arm and scoots closer, grinning at him expectantly. grian blinks.

“oh, uh..” grian glances away. secrets… well.. “i.. i guess while we’re on the topic…” he frowns. “i… don’t know how i feel about ‘suma always being busy..” he felt his wings droop once more. scar tilts his head curiously.

“what do you mean?”

“i—feel so selfish.” grian sighs. “but.. i feel bad, but…” he closes his eyes. “i guess i’m just afraid of losing him..”

“losing him..” scar thinks quietly, trying to piece it together. “by being busy?” he watches him. grian nods after a moment. scar just smiles. “oh no—grian! it isn’t like that at all!” he reaches out to softly hold his hands. “i know he can get busy and lost in work… but he wouldn’t ever just disappear!” 

“.. he won’t?.” grian looks up.

“of course not!!” scar claps before giving his hands another reassuring squeeze, holding them. “why would he?” 

“i just.. don’t want to lose ‘suma..” he frowns again.

“what? how would you lose him?” scar tilts his head softly.

“he.. he’ll always be busy.. and not have time for me..” he frowns. “it’s-“

“it’s not selfish!” scar shakes his head. “it’s okay to feel that way,” he nods and keeps his reassuring smile. “i promise. and he would never stop loving you. you’re always gonna be his number one!” he nods. “you’d never lose him, especially not like that.” he nods. grian began to smile.

“i won’t?.” he meets his gaze.

“of course not!” scar opens his arms and grian happily accepts the hug. “i know xisuma can get really lost in work and disappear sometimes and lose track of time and neglect himself.. but he loves you tons. nothing could tear you apart, especially not his work. he is a busy admin, but he will always have time for you.” he giggles. he hugs him close before letting go. “silly,” he grins as he pokes grian’s nose. the avian smiles. “come on—we should get rest. it got super late,” he huffs. grian just nods.

“yeah,” he yawns and looks down. scar shifts about, leaning over to turn out the lantern and pull up the blankets he’d brought. he glances at grian, frowning lightly before smiling.

“miss him again?” he asks with a soft smile. with a frown, grian nods. scar just chuckles and opens his arms, smiling sweetly. grian stares at him for a moment before smiling. he crawls closer and snuggles up to him quickly, eyes closing. scar hugs onto him softly, humming and staring down at him through the dark. “don’t worry, you’ll see him first thing in the morning.” he assures quietly, reaching up to softly stroke his hair. grian felt his eyes close and he nods quietly against his chest, reaching up to dry the tears that came to his eyes. “promise.” scar closes his eyes and smiles, his other hand moving to run a delicate hand against the feathers of grian’s wings. he felt them twitch and he smiles more. he pets them as he fell asleep, loving the softness that was grian.

the next morning grian had woken early like the previous morning. the sun had just began its ascent, bringing the light of the morning with it. he smiles before he looks away because—well, the sun was bright.

he yawns and rubs his eyes, looking over at scar. he watches the elf sleep for a moment before he looks away, reaching for the journal. flipping through the pages, he smiles as he doodles scar a little grian, letting him know he’d gone home early, so he wouldn’t worry. he smiles after, giving the sleeping scar one last glance before he’s taking off.

he doesn’t fly long, landing in the woods. he remembers it here. he almost felt.. wrong being here alone. he remembers when xisuma had first approached him, given him food. he smiles at the thought—he was so glad he did.

he walks quietly, humming softly and enjoying the fresh, early morning air. he loved it. it was a different type of relaxation he hadn’t felt in a long time.

he pauses. he.. surely he hadn’t imagined it. he glances around to find the source of the twig snapping. yeah, he was in the woods—it was probably just a wolf or something, nothing to worry about. he keeps walking.

the sound of the wind through the leaves was relaxing. grian smiles as it had continued, the smell of the morning air fresh. he smiles.

he pauses again. something.. didn’t feel right. grian looks around, frowning when not seeing anybody. he felt his wings twitch, ready to fly off. he’d have to stay wary…

grian gasps as he felt hands suddenly on him. he began to struggle violently, a hand clasping over his mouth and around his midsection, holding down his arms. closing his eyes tight, he immediately began thrashing around, trying desperately to get free. his cries were muffled against the hand, any pleas being silenced. he then got an idea.

grian suddenly stretches out his wings, the force enough to knock the person off him. without looking back, he immediately takes off, flying out of there.

his heart racing, he makes his way into the first base he came across. hands shaking, he closes the door and stands in front of it, shakily panting, trying to catch his breath from the quick getaway. he tenses when hearing footsteps, looking up. he’d realised he had no idea who’s base he’d even landed in…

he found out quickly. coming down the stairs was doc, axe in hand. grian felt his wings immediately fluff up in self defence, feeling himself grow more nervous and feeling sick. what was he meant to do? xisuma wasn’t here to protect him— he- he—

“grian?” doc spoke, lowering the axe. grian just stares at him, realising he hadn’t said a word. doc takes another step closer, furrowing his brows. “who hurt you?”

his voice wasn’t friendly, though he knew the anger wasn’t directed at him in any way. he felt the tears finally fall, just staring up at doc in shocked silence.

what just happened?

Chapter Text

the sunlight of a new day shown through the window. it had hit doc’s face after a moment, making him wince awake. he yawns and stretches, glancing over when feeling movement to his side. his smile grew upon seeing ren, chuckling at him. though, he was surprised the other wasn’t up by now; he was usually the early bird. then again, yesterday was busy. for a lot of them.

“good morning,” ren mutters, still half asleep. doc chuckles, smiling softly at him.

“sleep well?” he smiles.

“still tired,” he mumbles, eyes remaining closed. doc chuckles.

“mm, well, it’s time to get up.” he reaches up to lightly scratch behind his ear before sitting up. he smiles at the pout ren had gave in response, though he hums as his tail had continued wagging. he sits up as well.

doc moves about the room as he got ready for the day. he had plans with mumbo, teaching him some redstone. kid seemed excited to learn.

he glances at ren who was now fully awake as he had heard the door downstairs close. frowning, doc moves and grabs his axe, making his way downstairs. who would be here this early? and surely they would knock…

he makes his way down the stairs and into the living room, pausing upon seeing who it was. “grian?” he questions curiously. something wasn’t right. something definitely wasn’t right. grian would never be here at his base.

he has seen grian scared before, sure. the avian was afraid of him, for goodness sake. but that look in his eyes, now accompanied by tears? something had happened, and he was terrified.

“who hurt you?” doc felt his grip tighten on his axe. he was angry. not at grian, of course, but for the poor soul that dare lay a hand on the avian and now had to go through doc. grian remained seemingly speechless, just staring up at him.

“oh no—come here,” ren spoke as he steps closer, opening his arms. grian flinches away, studying ren. who was he?? he’d never seen him before—though he wasn’t as scary as doc.. his expression held all levels of concern, ears laid back slightly.

“what happened?” doc questions once more. grian sniffles, body fully trembling. he blinks, swallowing.

“i-i… i was.. g-going home after a… sleepover with scar…” words seemed incredibly difficult, the right ones lost deep in the expanse of his mind, mostly filled with the shock and fear of what he had just gone through. doc felt his eyebrows furrow, feeling for him. “a-and… i-i..” grian continues to tremble, more tears falling as he had officially begin to cry. “they… they tried taking me..” he broke down, now not minding the gentle hug he’s pulled in to by the new person. he just cries, hugging himself tight and squeezing his eyes shut.

doc just watches him. who would do such a thing?? nobody he could think of would ever try to just.. take him! unless it was some sort of prank? axe in hand, he makes his way over to the window to gaze out quietly. he looks back to grian. “there’s nobody outside,” he spoke.

grian felt his heart sink. he moves to look outside too, frowning when he hadn’t seen anybody. yeah, he was glad they were gone and honestly didn’t expect them to be out here at somebody’s base where anybody could see, but… did he not believe him..? surely he believed him! “th-they were in the woods.. it happened in the woods,” he looks back at him.

“you poor thing,” doc glances over as ren steps back up, softly pulling grian into another hug. he didn’t mind it at the time—he was shaken up and didn’t want to be alone. he wanted xisuma..

“let’s get you to xisuma, alright?” doc looks at him, watching as he nods. he offers a soft smile and nods as well. grian just hugs himself, continuing to tremble. he wanted xisuma..

he followed doc and ren out of his base and down the woods path. grian glances around, feeling more tears fall. he didn’t want to be alone in the woods ever again.. he stays close to doc, holding onto his coat—something he never imagined he would do—but right now he was the safest thing at that moment. they arrive to xisuma’s base and doc knocks, waiting for a response. it was a few moments before the door opened to xisuma.

“good morning, doc.” he spoke with a smile.

“hey, good morning.” doc spoke quietly. “i know it’s early, but uh.. we found something that belongs to you.” he spoke before stepping aside. grian immediately lets go of doc’s coat and runs forward to cling onto xisuma. the admin frowns deeply and furrows his brows, noticing how shooken up he’d seemed—wings fluffed up, face streaked with tears, and body shaking violently. he’d never seen him so afraid.. he hugs him closer, looking up at doc.

“what happened?” he asks, frowning deeply. whoever did this… who would do this?

“.. we should talk.” doc sighs, looking down at grian with a frown.

xisuma had invited doc and ren in for tea, deciding he would start breakfast after. grian had sat on the other side of the sofa next to xisuma, clinging close as he kept his face hidden. he kept himself mostly covered up with his wings, not having done that since he was lost in the forest. it felt safe..

“so uh..” doc began, biting his lip. “he’d come into our base this morning, early.” he began. “he said.. someone tried to take him. in the forest,” he glances at xisuma. the admin just stares at him, nodding slowly at his words. he continues to softly stroke grian’s hair, frowning at how he continued to tremble and stay close. whatever happened really shook him up..

“take him?” he questions. “like..”

“yeah.. like kidnapping, i’d assume.”

“doc.. it makes no sense. nobody on the server would do such a thing.” he frowns. grian felt his heart drop, more tears falling. did xisuma really not believe him..?

“i know, it’s odd. i can’t think of anybody i know who would do this.” he meets his gaze. “but whenever i find out who did…” he clenched a fist before he shifts to stand afterwards, sighing. “well—i suppose i should be on my way. me leaving might help him relax.” he glances at ren and offers a soft smile before looking back to xisuma. “i’ll see you around,”

“yeah—thank you,” the admin nods.

“of course,” doc nods and leads ren out of his base.

“grian,” xisuma spoke softly once the two were gone, stroking a hand through his hair. grian just shakes his head and breaks down into tears. xisuma frowns and hugs him close. “i’m sorry..”

“you d-don’t believe me.. d-do you?..” grian mutters out between cries, eyes closing tighter. xisuma frowns more.

“of course i believe you. you wouldn’t be this affected if it didn’t happen.” he hugs him closer. he watches as grian shifts to sit up more and lean into xisuma so he could properly be hugged. he happily returns it, arms protective around him. “i just.. don’t know who would do such a thing. no one comes to mind,” he strokes his hair softly. grian just continues to cry, refusing to move from xisuma’s arms. he hugs him closer. “you’re okay.. you’re safe now, i promise.”

“i-i’m sorry i didn’t see who it was..” grian spoke quietly, sniffling. xisuma shakes his head.

“no, no. never apologise. there’s nothing for you to be sorry for, okay?” he hugs him closer. “there’s no reason for you to be sorry. i’m just so glad you’re okay…” he frowns and hugs him closer. something really bad could have happened.. he might have to have a server wide meeting after all.

“i don’t want anybody to know..” grian spoke up after a moment. xisuma rubs his back.

“some people might have to find out, i have to figure out who did it.” his voice was gentle as he kept him close. “no one will think of you any different, i promise. it’ll be okay,” he rests his head against grian’s. “now, are you hungry?” he asks softly, pulling back to smile at him. grian just sniffles and dries his eyes with a frown, nodding quietly after a moment. xisuma smiles and gives him a soft hug before pulling away. grian hugs his knees when xisuma had stood, staring down at the floor quietly as he prepares breakfast.

he felt alone. he hated feeling alone; he hadn’t felt this way since he was in the forest crying in the rain, shot in the side by that skeleton. he felt more tears fall down his face as he closes his eyes, hugging his knees close. he’d never felt so alone with xisuma here… he knew he said he believed him, but… he couldn’t help thinking he didn’t.. he knew everybody on the server, of course he knew nobody would do that. but.. he just hides his face as more tears fall.

after a bit xisuma was coming back into the room, softly ruffling grian’s hair. “breakfast is ready,” he smiles. grian just stays put for a moment before shifting to stand. he makes his way to the kitchen and sits in his spot, staring down at his plate. his wings drooped, and xisuma knew it was bad if that happened. “grian?” he sits as well, watching the avian with furrowed brows. he just kept his gaze down.

“hm?.” he hums quietly, not bothering to look up.

“what’s wrong?” xisuma questions. he sips his tea. grian just shakes his head. how was he meant to explain it..? “talk to me please,” xisuma spoke, reaching out to softly rub his hand. grian just shrugs, sniffling. he’d be upset if he didn’t speak.. what should he say? he felt everything falling faster, his eyes falling close.

“i…” he bites his lip hard, soon tasting something metallic. “i’m just not hungry.”

“grian,” xisuma bit his lip and softly continues to rub his arm. “i’m always going to be here for you. you can always talk to me, okay?”

“i know..” grian mutters. he stares down at the plate of food before looking to the side. food almost made his stomach more upset.

“please talk to me if it’s upsetting you this much,” xisuma spoke up. grian just sniffles and plays with his fingers quietly.

“i don’t know what to say.” grian closes his eyes tight. it almost stressed him. how was he supposed to talk about it when he didn’t know what he felt? this morning terrified him—someone tried to take him! what did they want him for? why would they do that? he couldn’t imagine never seeing xisuma or scar again. and honestly he still wasn’t even sure if xisuma believed him despite him saying he did. it upset him more. “i’m just tired.”

“if it’s about this morning—“

“i don’t want to talk about it.” grian spoke before shifting to stand. xisuma frowns as he watches him walk away, furrowing his brows. he sighs and looks down, sipping his tea quietly after a moment.

grian made his way back to the bedroom, closing the door. he squeezes his eyes shut, his chest feeling tight. he moves to the bed and curls up, shifting to wrap his wings around himself. he felt safe that way… he began to cry, curling up tighter. he hated this.. he hated it so much. what was he meant to tell him? there wasn’t anything he could tell him—he already knew what happened. what was he meant to do about it? everyone was xisuma’s friend!

grian cries harder, feeling his whole body tremble. why didn’t he just stay at scar’s… why did he have to go out alone? he never should have went out alone…

he felt like he wasn’t safe anywhere. he felt like he was being watched, still felt the hands on him. why did they want him? why would they do such a thing.. who would do such a thing?? xisuma trusted everybody on the server! they all seemed so nice…

grian coughs between cries, feeling his breaths become short as his chest aches. oxygen felt difficult to suck down, sitting up as he coughs and heaves, falling into a panic. his vision blurred with tears, body trembling hard. he wished he was away… he wished—

he’s pulled into strong, protective arms that he knew were xisuma’s. he immediately leaned close, taking in quick, shallow breaths. “breathe, come on. you’re okay, i promise.” the admin’s voice was gentle as he spoke, keeping grian close. he takes in deep breaths himself, grian slowly having caught on. he smiles softly. “there you go—you’re okay. i’ve got you, you’re safe. i promise,” he hugs him, rubbing his back.

grian leans close and falls silent other than soft sniffles. he dries his eyes with shaking hands, clinging onto xisuma. “i’ve got you,” xisuma spoke, bringing a hand up to softly stroke his hair. “you can always talk to me when you’re ready… i’ll be here when you’re ready, i’ll always listen.” he assures, softly hugging him closer. grian just nods quietly, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to talk about it for awhile, mostly because he couldn’t find the words and he was almost too shocked. he just wanted to forget it happened… he didn’t want to think about it or ever talk about it—he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that it happened.

“okay..” he spoke anyways, head softly resting against xisuma. he dries his face more, closing his eyes and exhaling shakily. the soft back rubs continue, hugging him close to hopefully help relax him. it did, grian calming down a significant amount.  he stays close, wings drooped while not wrapped around himself.

xisuma rests his head softly onto grian’s. “we can go back to breakfast whenever you’re ready,” he spoke softly. grian sniffles and just nods, though he didn’t feel hungry at all. he didn’t want to eat. he never wanted to eat.

“we can go back..” he spoke after a moment though, not wanting to keep xisuma away from breakfast for too long. he already felt bad enough that he had to deal with what grian was going through.. the admin nods softly, giving him a gentle squeeze before shifting to stand. grian sniffles and stands too, grabbing onto his arm and holding tight. he never wanted to let go.

xisuma smiles reassuringly to him before leading him back to the dining room. he sits and watches as grian sits beside him rather than his usual spot across. xisuma reaches out to grab grian’s plate and pull it over to him, softly petting his hair after. he then began to eat, glancing to grian every now and then.

grian remained silent, eyes downcast. he leans close to xisuma, afraid to be away from him for even a second. he hated this.. he felt bad, afraid he would annoy him by being too clingy. was he annoying..?

he picked up his fork after a moment, realising xisuma had noticed he wasn’t eating. he took a few bites, eyes closing at the taste and feeling like he grew more hungry with it. he began to quickly eat, suddenly feeling like he was starving, like he couldn’t get the food down fast enough.

breakfast went by silently, xisuma keeping a close eye on grian. he spoke up after a moment. “want to see scar today?” he asks softly. grian just nods quietly after a moment. he places his fork down once he’d finished eating, surprised that he’d ate it all, before resting quietly against his shoulder. he closes his eyes. the admin smiles.

“i’m sorry,” grian spoke after a moment.

“what for?” xisuma looks down at him curiously.

“.. for being clingy..” he replies, voice small. xisuma frowns.

“you’ve picked up a bad habit and i want you to work on getting rid of it right now.” he spoke softly, sipping his tea.

“what habit?.”

“apologising for no reason. feeling like you have to be sorry for little things and things that aren’t true.” he reaches up to softly ruffles his hair. grian just frowns and rests his head against his shoulder.

“i’m sorry,” he closes his eyes. xisuma just hugs him.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry.” he smiles gently. “now, would you like to go see scar?” he pulls back. grian smiles softly and nods, looking away and leaning back into xisuma. he didn’t want to be away. xisuma smiles reassuringly before standing to gather up the dishes from breakfast. he decided he would clean later. he smiles at grian. “let’s go,” he chuckles when the avian had hugged onto his arm, exiting his base and making his way towards scar’s.

grian thought quietly to himself. he didn’t want scar to find out. he just figured it would be better to keep that to himself, why would he bring it up anyways? he would have the same reaction as doc and xisuma—it didn’t matter.

once they had arrived grian immediately hugs onto xisuma. the admin chuckles and waits patiently for scar, humming softly. “is he home?” grian asks quietly.

“he should be,” xisuma looks about his base before smiling when he saw scar.

“grian!” the elf waves happily as he made his way closer. grian tightens his arms around xisuma before letting go and leaning close. he smiles softly.

“hi,” he plays with his fingers quietly. scar smiles at xisuma before looking back to grian.

“hey! we should hang out with mumbo today! he’s been practising with redstone and it would be cool to check it out! he’s really talented,” he grins. grian just smiles and nods before turning to xisuma.

“you two have fun, alright? i’ll be quite busy today,” he smiles. grian felt his wings twitch, though he just hugs him again and doesn’t say anything. xisuma smiles and tightens his arms around him before slowly letting go. grian does the same.

“bye x! and we will!” scar giggles and waves as he walks away. he smiles before turning to grian. ” hey! we should go see if mumbo is free!” he smiles. grian just smiles and nods.

“okay,” he nods. scar claps before grabbing grian’s hand and leading him off. grian follows quietly, walking beside him.

“doc’s been teaching him some redstone—it’s really cool!” scar spoke with a smile. grian listens in—he still had absolutely no idea what redstone was but he just went along with it. “he’s good at it so far, and he’s just started!”

grian pauses when they got to the woods. scar walks in nonchalantly, humming. he slows when he realised grian was no longer beside him, turning to look back. “grian? you coming?” he asks. grian just swallows, feeling the dread return. he just nods and slowly walks in, being quick to grab tight onto scar’s hand. the elf just smiles sweetly and leads him down the path.

grian is unable to help his gaze from shifting around, feeling his feathers fluff up as he felt like anything could happen at any given second. scar’s mindless singing filled the air, the elf’s happy demeanour never fading. grian looks around, looking behind them as he tightens his grip on scar’s hand. this got his attention and he glances over. “grian? are you okay?” he asks curiously, frowning a bit at how paranoid he seemed. grian just nods.

“i don’t want to be in the woods.” he spoke as he continues to walk, wanting to just be out. scar just nods and continues walking as well.

as they had passed the last bit of trees, grian felt himself relax. he exhales, letting out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. he looks around and continues to follow scar quietly. “and we’re out,” scar smiles sweetly at grian before continuing to lead him to where mumbo was. they arrive to doc’s base and grian felt his wings twitch, but honestly he would admit he’d rather be here than the woods alone again.

“oh mumbooo!” scar calls out and giggles, smiling widely. grian just smiles at him and waits patiently for mumbo, looking around. he did have to admit doc’s base was pretty cool. he looks over when he had heard more voices, watching as doc, mumbo, and the new hermit—ren—made their way over.

“hey scar,” mumbo waves before waving at grian as well with a smile.

“hi,” grian replies quietly before looking over when doc had spoken.

“you feeling better, grian?”

grian felt himself tense. he just nods.

“what happened?” scar asks with a frown. grian just shakes his head, glancing at doc before looking away.

“nothing happened.” he replies. scar didn’t believe him, because, well, he was acting weird! but why would he lie? maybe he didn’t want to talk about it. maybe it was embarrassing—maybe they could have a laugh about it in the tree house! it was for secrets, after all. so he just smiles and nods.

“okay then!” he looks to mumbo after. “wanna hang with me and grian? you could show us some of what you learned!” he smiles excitedly. mumbo smiles.

“yeah! i can hang for a bit,” he nods in agreement.

“yay!” scar claps and smiles happily at grian. “come on—“ he grabs his hand before grabbing mumbo’s as well. mumbo just laughs and follows the two with a smile. scar had too much energy. he loved it.

they make their way back to scar’s base, the elf walking cheerfully. he smiles back at the two. “oh we’re going to have so much fun!” he claps. “mumbo! you should show us what you’ve learned about redstone.” he grins.

“oh— well sure,” mumbo smiles. scar claps happily. “though it’s not much,”

“yay! i’ve always been so interested in it—i’m sure grian has, too!“ he smiles. grian felt his face grow warm when their gazes landed on him, because, well—he had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. but, they didn’t have to know that. he nods.

“yeah,” he smiles. scar smiles happily and makes his way about his base. “hmm…. i dunno! build me something.”

“well… alright,” mumbo shrugs and gets to work.

it was simple, really. just a piston door he had learned how to do—beginners stuff. grian was amazed, though. he had never seen something so.. awesome.

“so, yeah. uh, that’s all i’ve learned to actually make so far. i know most of the components and what they do, though.” he smiles. scar grins.

“wow.. that’s awesome.” he nods. “redstone is so interesting.” grian nods along in agreement.

“but cool,” he spoke up. scar nods along with a hum.

“it is.. hey mumbo! you should come see the tree and treehouse me and grian built!” scar claps. “but you can’t go in yet. it’s for secrets,” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“secrets?” mumbo chuckles.

“yep.” scar smirks. “so if you ever have anything to share… like uh, any.. love interests perhaps?” his grin grows. grian rolls his eyes and smiles—yeah, he was for sure scar was making that up.

“uh—i think i’m good,” mumbo laughs softly.

okay, now grian was for sure scar was just making stuff up.

“okay, okay.” scar sighs and smiles. “but if you ever change your mind! you know where to come to tell me.” he nods before smiling more. “come on! come see it,” he smiles as he makes his way out to the garden. grian and mumbo follow.

grian smiles as they come upon the tree they had built. it really was beautiful—he was so proud of it. he loved how they’d made scar’s drawing come to life. it was amazing.

“wow,” mumbo thought so, too.

“my favourite part is how we based it off scar’s drawing.” grian spoke up. mumbo glances at him before looking back to the tree. he nods.

“you guys did a good job,” he smiles.

“we really made the drawing come to life,” grian smiles as well.

“aww, you’re gonna make me blush.” scar giggles. mumbo just chuckles. “you should see the inside—but at another time! for secrets.” he grins.

“secrets, right.” mumbo laughs softly. “oh, scar. uhm…” he spoke up, biting his lip.

“hm?” scar looks over and studies him. grian lifts a curious eyebrow at the two.

“i’m quite hungry. aren’t you?” mumbo questions. scar seemed to ponder before he gasps.

“oh! i am, actually.” he smiles and nods before looking to grian. “we have to go! but uh—we can hang out again later!” he smiles and waves.

“what?” grian frowns and steps closer as the two turned to leave.

“oh! don’t worry,” scar smiles reassuringly. “just.. it’s—we’re going to go grab something to eat.” he nods.

“oh—can i come?” grian watches him. he felt like he already knew the answer.

“it’s—actually something me and mumbo have had planned. i-i’ll see you later!” scar waves, the two seemingly in a hurry. grian just watches as they rush to walk away, his wings drooping. what.. was that? he then felt his heart rate pick up. he was alone. he didn’t want to be alone. he didn’t want—

quickly making the decision, grian flies up into the air and decides he should just fly back home. he frowns. why couldn’t he get food with them? he did have to admit he was also kind of hungry.. he just frowns and flies home, sighing. he.. supposed he would hang with scar later…

flying over the forest and back to xisuma’s, grian lands outside. he dries his eyes before making his way inside.

“—and i’m afraid that it will get worse.” he heard keralis speaking, though at the moment he didn’t really care.

“it won’t, though.” he heard xisuma speak next. “it isn’t like— grian??”

grian pays no mind to them, just making his way past the two at the dining room table and back to the bedroom. the admin frowns. “i’ll be right back,” he smiles to keralis, who nods in understanding, before making his way to the bedroom, following grian.

“grian? are you alright?” he questions.

“i’m fine.” grian spoke as he curls up in bed. he stares down at the blankets, refusing to cry. he wouldn’t..

“you sure?” xisuma sits beside him, watching him quietly. “you seem upset.” upset was an understatement, grian thought. he felt.. abandoned. scar and mumbo just—left him! with little to no explanation—it hurt…

“i’m fine.” he closes his eyes and shifts to get more comfortable, covering himself up more with his wings. “i’m sorry i interrupted you and keralis.. i won’t listen in.” he pulls a pillow over his head as if to prove his point.

“you didn’t interrupt anything.” xisuma replies gently. “i’m here to listen, you know that.” he changes the subject. grian just shrugs.

“i’m fine,” he mutters, almost inaudible due to the pillow also muffling his words. xisuma just frowns and reaches out to softly rub his shoulder.

“the more you say that the more i feel like you’re not fine.” he watches him, voice laced with worry. grian just shakes his head, tears hidden by the pillow.

“i really am—it doesn’t matter.” he exhales. no, he didn’t want to be alone, but—he wanted to hang out with scar and mumbo…

“what happened to scar? weren’t you two hanging out?” xisuma questions. grian sniffles.

“he went with mumbo.” he closes his eyes and tries to hold back sobs. “to get food. not like i’m hungry too, or anything. not like i’d want to go with my friends..” he shakes his head. “it’s selfish. they’re allowed to hang out without me if they want.” he shifts to curl up tighter.

“oh, grian..” xisuma frowns as he came to realisation.

“i don’t want to talk about it.” grian sniffles, more tears falling. he kept his eyes closed. xisuma exhales softly; how was he meant to explain it? no one knew but him and scar, and it was meant to stay that way.

“okay. just know they love you, and.. they have their own things they do together. okay?” he rubs his shoulder. “you can’t be upset with them.”

“i’m not.”

“you are,” xisuma frowns, voice remaining gentle. “you wouldn’t be crying if you weren’t.”

“i’m..”

“you’re allowed to be upset. just.. you can’t be angry with them. it isn’t.. like they don’t want you there. it’s.. difficult.” he sighs and softly pulls the pillow from grian’s face. “come here,” he opens his arms. grian shifts to snuggle up to him, drying his face and eyes. “come on. no more crying from you,” he smiles gently. grian hugs onto xisuma, his wings fluttering when feeling a hand go through his hair. he smiles. “now—you said you were hungry?”

“no. i don’t want to interrupt you and keralis..” grian frowns. he felt bad.. they were clearly having an important conversation and he had just… messed it up.

“it’s okay. keralis likes you, you know.” xisuma chuckles softly. grian felt his wings twitch. 

“i think i’ll take a nap,” he spoke quietly. he wanted xisuma and keralis to finish their conversation. he felt bad and he knew xisuma wouldn’t admit that he’d interrupted them.. he just hugs xisuma more. “i’ll eat when i wake up,”

“alright then. you better,” xisuma hugs him close. “eating is important,” he ruffles his hair. grian’s wings flutter.

“i know,” he smiles. the admin chuckles before softly hugging him close, grian returning it happily. he stands after a moment, smiling sweetly to the avian before exiting the room. grian just sighs and hugs his knees close.

he wondered what mumbo’s secret was.

“i’m back,” xisuma smiles as he sits back across from keralis. 

“no worries, shashwammy.” he smiles sweetly back at him. “is he doing alright?” 

“he is. he’s just… he’s alright.” he sighs softly. “he’s worried cause scar and mumbo.. had plans.” he kept his voice quiet before shrugging. “he’ll be alright though.”

“oh,” keralis nods. “understandable,”

“yeah,” xisuma stares down at his hands in silence. he really worried about grian sometimes. just.. what was he meant to tell him? he didn’t know, but he did know he would have to have a talk with scar about it. he probably didn’t consider how it would make grian feel. he would make things better. he always tried his best. making sure all his hermits got along. just, add that to the long list of things to get done… 

“what are you thinking about?” keralis spoke softly. xisuma looks up and smiles lightly. 

“just.. about how busy i’ve been.” he exhales. “i feel like this week has been packed with things to get done.” 

“admin stuff?” keralis tilts his head.

“yeah.. a lot of stuff.” xisuma just forces a light chuckle. keralis tilts his head. 

“as long as you are taking care of yourself.” keralis smiles. xisuma nods.

“i.. am,” he looks back down at his hands. “i-“ 

“i notice.” keralis interrupts him lightly. they have kind of had this conversation before, though it never went all the way in depth. maybe he needed to finally talk it out with him. “i know.. you like keeping things to yourself, shashwamm. but at some point, you have to let people in sometimes.” 

xisuma fell silent before he speaks after a moment, not looking up. “i know.” 

“you have people who care.. who want to listen and help.” keralis bites his lip lightly before reaching out to quietly pat his hand. “i know you help people, and you’re.. that’s why you’re here, as admin. but.. it’s okay for the helper to also get help.. you know?” 

“i know.” xisuma kept his gaze down. keralis just frowns, softly squeezing his hands. 

“and i know you aren’t used to breaks.. a lot of the time. but it’s good to.. take time to refresh. and let your body and mind heal. you can’t.. overwork yourself.” 

“i know, but-“ 

“just because that’s what you’re used to doesn’t mean it’s okay.” keralis shakes his head lightly. he then exhales. “just.. i don’t know. i just want to make sure you’re okay… we would like to keep our admin. and i know grian would like to keep his dad.” he gives his hand a soft squeeze. “just think about what i’ve said.. all us hermits care about you. a lot.” he pats his hands softly before exhaling. xisuma had just nodded along to his words, finally moving to return the soft squeeze to his hands. 

“thank you. it means a lot.” he offers a small smile. he felt his heart flutter at his kind words, not knowing how to feel but knowing the words meant a lot. it felt good to hear…

“i’m glad,” keralis smiles softly. “we all care a ton about you. we hate that anything bad happens behind the scenes,” 

“i know..” xisuma just exhales. keralis just gives his hands another gentle squeeze. 

“good, i’m glad you’ve listened..” he says before smiling more. “come on. let’s start dinner,” he says before standing. xisuma stands too. 

they cooked dinner together, xisuma preparing the pork chops while keralis got the vegetables ready. xisuma made more tea as well, humming to himself as it got ready. he inhales softly before glancing back to keralis. he smiles. “dinner’s ready!” keralis says after a bit, xisuma watching as he began to serve plates. 

”i’ll go fetch grian.” the admin spoke, turning and heading down the hall. 

grian slowly blinks awake, rubbing his eyes as the smell of pork chops and vegetables fill his senses. he sniffles and sits up, rubbing his eyes. he always hated crying himself to sleep.. he felt awful afterwards. he sighs and yawns, shifting to sit up,  hugging his knees close as he thought. 

he looks up when noticing the door open, standing and immediately hugging close to xisuma. the admin chuckles and hugs him back. “hungry? dinner’s ready,” he spoke. grian smiles at the hand stroking up through his hair. he nods.

he let go after a moment to follow xisuma to the dining room. he sits beside xisuma, feeling his wings twitch. he wanted to be beside him.. he smiles at the hand in his hair before he began to eat. he glances up when he saw keralis wave at him, quietly waving back. he glances at xisuma when he’d spoke.

“did you have a good nap?” he asks, smiling at him. grian nods quietly, rubbing his eye. he still felt not fully awake. he knew he would be awake soon.

“it was okay,” he replies. he didn’t mention the crying. he didn’t want xisuma to worry. he leans into him quietly, closing his eyes. the admin chuckles and smiles, glancing across the table at keralis. he looks away after a moment.

“i’m glad it was good,” he softly strokes his hair. he then hums softly. “me and keralis are having a movie night tonight. would you like to join us?” he smiles. grian smiles and nods. he finished his food before leaning back into xisuma and closing his eyes. he felt like he’d probably fall asleep quickly during the movie.

once dinner was officially over grian leaves to the living room. he sits while xisuma and keralis cleaned up from dinner. he grabs his journal and began to draw quietly, pulling his knees close. he didn’t really care what movie they watched, he just wanted to spend time with xisuma before bed, despite feeling like he’d fall asleep soon.

he closes his journal after a few sketches, resting his head back with a frown. he smiles though when feeling the couch dip, immediately moving to snuggle up against xisuma. the admin chuckles before looking to the other side of him as keralis sat. grian felt his wings twitch, having none of it.

he shifts and moves to sit in between the two, snuggling back against xisuma. he hugs onto his arm quietly, resting his head. the admin laughs and smiles down at him, softly stroking a hand through his hair. he smiles over at keralis after, handing him the remote. “you choose,” he smiles at him.

grian yawns and closes his eyes, resting comfortably against xisuma. he flinched as he felt keralis shift, pulling his wings closer to his body. he hugs onto xisuma’s arm quietly, yawning and comfortable. the movie in the background served for some white noise, it being enough to lull grian into a comfortable sleep.

Chapter Text

the light of morning shines through the window, casting shadows. xisuma was the first to wake, stretching his arms above his head and shifting to lie more comfortably as he woke. keralis had woke up not long after, xisuma looking over and lifting his eyebrows, smiling at the sight.

grian had rested between them, hugging close onto keralis like he usually did with xisuma. the admin smiles and looks to keralis, pointing at the avian. keralis’ smile grew. xisuma reaches out to softly ruffle grian’s hair, pulling his hand back when he saw his wings start to move. he didn’t want to wake him.

“look at him,” keralis smiles, voice quiet, looking down at grian once more. he had never imagined he would have him close like this—the avian was skittish as anything, only really cuddling up like that to xisuma and just seemingly very picky about who he has physical contact with in general. he smiles; he liked it.

“he had a long day yesterday,” xisuma spoke up, keeping his voice low, still husky with sleep. he looks back down and watches as grian slept, smiling more. he adored him.

grian had suddenly woke, the voices around him now fading in. he furrows his brows and curls closer into who he assumed was xisuma, happily hugging onto him. he hugs him closer when he felt him shift, clinging onto him and shifting to wrap his wings around them, not ready to get up and definitely not ready to have xisuma leave.

“he’ll freak out if he wakes and i’m not here,” he heard him speaking, the words muffled and incoherent to his half asleep brain. grian yawns. he keeps his eyes closed and rests his head, though he still tries to stay awake.

“understandable,” he heard keralis speaking after. he felt his wings twitching, curling closer into xisuma and hiding his face further into his shoulder and under his wing.

“i’ll go and start breakfast now,” he heard him speak once more, though he wasn’t sure if he had imagined it or not, still not being fully awake and having stayed cuddled into him. though, as he woke up more, he realised what had happened. realising the scent was not in fact xisuma’s, grian shifts quietly, feeling his wings twitch. he frowns and backs away from where he had been curled into keralis, frowning. he rubs his eyes and looks around, realising that, yeah, he hadn’t imagined anything.

“he’s just in the kitchen preparing breakfast,” keralis had spoke with a sweet smile, shifting to sit up himself. grian just watches him, nodding before standing and making his way out of the room. he yawns as he makes his way to the kitchen, immediately finding xisuma and hugging onto him. he closes his eyes, yawning softly, wings fluttering.

“oh—why, good morning grian,” he chuckles. grian hugs onto him tighter. “hungry?” he smiles at the hand in his hair, wings fluttering more as he nods. he nuzzles against him, leaning up into the hand in his hair before he let go. he moves to sit at the table, playing with his fingers as he waits patiently. he moves to grab his journal, smiling as he began to draw.

he doesn’t glance up when noticing keralis entering the room, moving about before sitting across from him. he continues drawing quietly, his wings twitching. he looks over his drawing and frowns quietly to himself. he wanted to see scar today, but.. did scar want to see him? he seemed so.. hurried to leave yesterday, so apt to hang out with just mumbo.

his wings droop quietly as he thought. he rests his head against his hand as he mindlessly doodles flowers, continuing to think to himself. he supposed he was always afraid of scar not wanting to be his friend—but why wouldn’t he? they seemed fine the day before! he just… didn’t know, and it upset him.

there was soon a plate set down in front of him, causing him to back away from the table from where he was previously leaned over. he closes his journal and grabs his fork, though he hadn’t made any attempts to eat. he leans into xisuma when he sat beside him, quietly beginning to cut into the waffles, almost just to have something to do.

“you alright?” xisuma spoke, bringing a hand up to stroke his hair. grian just nods quietly. he had already bothered him being a mess yesterday—maybe he would just give him time alone with his work today, whether or not he hung with scar. he’s sure he would find something to do… he began to eat quietly, eyes staying downcast. he hated feeling so sad…

he felt like he had barely touched his food that morning, only taking a few bites. he hugs onto xisuma as he cleaned up, not liking being alone when he was sad. “you ready to go see scar?” xisuma spoke with a smile afterwards, turning to properly hug grian and stroke his hair softly. grian just nods quietly, head resting onto him. the admin smiles and hugs him closer before letting go. he moves about his base before they’re off.

walking alongside xisuma, grian follows him to scar’s base. he and keralis talked as they walked, grian just listening in and staying silent. when they had arrived to scar’s base grian hugs xisuma, clinging close. “bye,” he spoke softly.

“you have a good day,” xisuma smiles sweetly down at him. grian just nods and hugs him closer before slowly letting go. he turns and heads into scar’s base quietly, looking around. he’s usually out by now.. he checked the bedroom, making sure he wasn’t still asleep. he went out to the garden after, looking around before smiling. he makes his way to the treehouse, pausing upon seeing two people in there instead of just scar.

the voices were quiet, though he recognised the voice currently speaking as scar. not wanting to intrude, he decides to make himself known. “scar? you up there?” he calls. the voices immediately pause and scar pops his head out, peering down at grian. he smiles widely, pushing hair behind his pointed ears.

“grian! hi!” he waves with a smile, turning to immediately begin climbing down. grian takes a step back before smiling, happily returning the tight hug he’s pulled into. “i was just—me and mumbo—you know, the treehouse is for secrets, after all!” he pulls away and holds onto his shoulders, meeting his gaze. “you didn’t hear anything, did you?”

grian felt like it was a threat. he just shakes his head. “no, it was too quiet.” he spoke. which it was; he probably wouldn’t be able to listen in if he wanted to. scar smiles.

“okay good!” he giggles. “just wanna make sure mumbo’s secrets stay—well, secret!”

“tell scar he’s full of it, grian.” mumbo spoke as he climbs down, smiling. grian just giggles at them. though, he couldn’t push away the curiosity. he wanted to know what they were talking about.. he was their friend, after all. though, he doesn’t push on. if they wanted him to know they would tell him. he didn’t want to intrude. even then, though, he couldn’t help feeling a little upset and left out. he was just so curious...

“anyways! we should all do something today!” scar smiles happily.

“yeah! just what?” mumbo looks over at him.

“hmm.. i dunno—we could go exploring?” scar smiles between the two. mumbo nods in agreement.

“yeah! there’s lots to see—i’m sure there’s still people grian hasn’t met yet,” he glances over to the avian. he nods quietly.

“yay! exploring it is then!” scar smiles happily and claps, grin wide as he got to spend the day with his favourite people.

“bye mumbo!” scar waves happily as mumbo had turned to leave, now back at scar’s base. he waves back with a smile before walking away. scar turns back to grian, grinning. “okay, before you go home we need to go to the treehouse.” he spoke with a smile before grabbing his hand and leading him on. grian smiles and follows. he was going to know! he smiles in excitement; he wouldn’t just take him to the treehouse for no reason!

scar climbs up and settles in his usual spot before smiling and watching as grian follows. he smiles happily and scoots closer to where their knees touched. “so…” he grins.

“yeah?” grian smiles. he couldn’t wait to know what mumbo’s secret was.

“okay, so i didn’t bring you up here for no reason.” he nods. “so… do you have a crush?”

… what?

okay, not what he was expecting.

“uh.. i’m… not really,” he shrugs. he didn’t mention his.. odd.. ‘feelings’ for mumbo. though, it was probably different.

yeah.

“you sure?” scar began to grin. “i see the way you look at mumbo, grian.” the avian felt his face suddenly get hot and scar began to laugh and clap. “you do! oh—you totally do!”

“i do not—!” grian spoke, reaching out to cover scar’s mouth.

“you do~!” scar sings and giggles and grabs grian’s hands, pulling them down between them and holding them there. “so. you have a crush on mumbo.”

“no. i do not,” grian holds his gaze. why did this matter? well, he supposed that would be a pretty big secret, a crush…

plus, it’s not like mumbo would feel the same if he did. 

and it’s not like he could even date right now, anyways. he wasn’t an adult like xisuma. 

and he didn’t feel like mumbo was the type to have crushes.. he didn’t act like that kind of thing was on his mind at all.

and—

“so.. you don’t?”

“.. i don’t.” grian spoke after a moment.

“grian, you do know the penalty for lying in the treehouse of secrets, right?” scar quirks an eyebrow. grian blinks.

“what?”

“everybody knows that, grian!“ scar huffs. “you could get yourself banned. it’s for secrets, not—gossip.” he giggles.

“okay fine,” two could play that game. “so is that mumbo’s secret? him having a crush?”

“grian!” scar gasps—he was being so dramatic about all of this, grian thought. it made him happy. “i can’t give away other people’s secrets.” he crosses his arms.

“what—but you were talking about keralis and xisuma the other day!”

“that’s different!” scar began to laugh madly, waving his hands and shaking his head. he claps. “it’s different. mumbo’s secrets are—different.. because he told me!” he nods. “oh yes. he told me—and i can’t give away that information! tip top secrets, it is!”

“but—“ grian frowns. “why can’t i know?”

“know what?” scar lifts a curious eyebrow.

“what you two were talking about earlier. and how you just.. left the other day.” he felt his wings twitch. he watches as scar glances away nervously, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

“oh.. you’re still upset about that, huh?”

“yes, i am.” grian frowns. “i.. wanted to go with you guys..”

“grian.. it’s…” scar sighs. “it’s—was something we had planned. and-the timing was just bad. me and mumbo.. he..” grian could tell he was having a hard time coming up with an excuse.

“scar.. are you and mumbo..?” he trails off, staring at the elf with wide eyes. he.. supposed it would make sense if he and mumbo had a thing. though, scar just watches grian curiously before he gasps, eyes wide.

“us?? no! oh—no, grian! you misunderstand!” he began to laugh. “no!” he smiles and shakes his head. “grian—you’re great.” he grins. “and you’re such a great friend. we would always love to hang out with you, okay? yesterday was just.. like i said, bad timing.” he nods. “nothing more.” he reaches out to softly squeeze his hands. “it’s not like we didn’t want you there or anything! it was more of.. a ‘you couldn’t be there’ kind of thing.. you know?”

“no, i don’t know.” grian sighs and looks down. “i guess i can understand, though.” he glances at their hands quietly. scar smiles.

“i just don’t want you upset. is there anything we can do to make it up to you?” he watches him worriedly. he’d hate for this to come between them. he despised conflict—tree elves weren’t about that at all! grian glances up and stares back.

“yeah. just.. don’t leave me again. it… after what happened the other day, i just…” he spoke, the words leaving before he could stop them, tensing once they were out. oh no.

“what happened the other day?” scar tilts his head curiously. grian looks up before shifting.

“nothing. nothing happened—i’m tired.” he slipped. he messed up—scar wouldn’t want him to be with them now!

“grian, wait! the treehouse is for secrets, remember?” scar reaches out to grab his arm. “hey!” he smiles.

“i have to go!“ grian kept his back turned towards scar, not wanting him to see the tears that he desperately tried to blink away. scar frowns.

“grian—you can trust me with your secrets—that’s what the whole treehouse is for,” he spoke, voice turning more gentle. “it’s build upon trust! you can trust me, right?” scar softly rubs a thumb against the wrist he held, watching as grian relaxed a bit, though he still seemed upset. he watches as he shifts back to sit, scar sitting back in his spot across from him, scooting closer. he offers a gentle smile, reaching out to softly hold his hands. grian looks down.

“.. you promise you’ll still want to be my friend?.”

“grian, nothing would ever make me not want to be your friend.” scar frowns. he watches him, his heart hurting at how upset he seemed. “what happened?.” he asks gently.

“i…” grian sniffles, trying not to cry. he hated crying in front of anybody. “it was the other morning.. after our sleepover… i was walking home.. a-and i went through the woods..” he closes his eyes tight as he looked back on the terrible memories, hating having to relive them over. he was so scared, he felt so terrified and alone—

the gentle squeeze of scar’s hands brought him back to the present. he sniffles softly. “and.. i.. they tried taking me…” he spoke the final part quietly, almost hating to admit it. scar frowns, eyebrows furrowed.

“they.. taking you?” he softly rubs his hands, squeezing them reassuringly. grian just nods.

“i-i flew away, but.. i should have seen who it was. i..” he closes his eyes and lets out a shaky exhale.

“grian—no,” scar gently reaches up, hand delicate against his face as he tilts his head up to meet his gaze. grian watches him, feeling himself relax against the gentle hand, leaning into the safety that was scar. “don’t say that. i’m glad you’re okay—everybody is. you shouldn’t apologise for not seeing who it was. that’s—not a good thing to go through, nobody blames you at all.” he leans closer to softly press his forehead against grian’s as he assures him, pulling him into a close hug after. “nobody blames you at all. we blame who would ever try to do such a thing.”

“you.. believe me?.” grian sniffles and rests against his shoulder. he allows his eyes to fall close. scar frowns.

“of course i do,” he hugs him closer. “did somebody not?”

“no, i just..” he sniffles and shakes his head, falling silent.

“you can trust me with your thoughts,” scar assures, rubbing his back softly, being careful of his wings. grian frowns and closes his eyes tight.

“xisuma.. i just… feel like he doesn’t believe me. he.. knows everybody on the server—all who he trusts and he’s friends with, and-and he knows nobody would ever..” he trails off. “but… somebody did. somebody could have snuck in.. like i got here without a trace.” he hugs scar closer. the elf lifts a curious eyebrow and pulls from the hug. grian does as well.

“what do you mean?” scar watches him curiously.

“it’s confusing, but.. the reason i can’t respawn. because xisuma can’t find my code anywhere.” he plays with his fingers. “i just.. wonder if it’s possible for someone else to come in undetected.”

“well.. how did you do it?” scar tilts his head curiously. this was so interesting! juicy secrets, for sure.

“i didn’t. well, not on purpose.” grian glances away. “i just.. woke up in the forest. i tried to stay hidden and was for a few days, until i got hurt and xisuma found me.”

“do you remember anything from before you got here?” scar looks at him, interested, eyebrows lifted. grian looks away. “grian?”

“i..” he closes his eyes. “i haven’t even told xisuma this,” he plays with his fingers quietly. scar nods enthusiastically for him to continue, smiling. “i keep… having these weird dreams. it.. it’s complicated, but… i’m in the void, i think.. it’s dark and i can’t breathe. but then—i see them. they’re… well, one’s like me. and the other isn’t.” scar’s eyes widen.

“do you think it’s.. your parents?” he keeps his voice hushed as if it’s forbidden.

“i don’t know. i.. think it’s possible.” he shrugs. “it.. doesn’t make sense though. how can’t i remember anything before coming here?” he meets scar’s gaze. the elf watches him closely.

“i don’t know,” he just smiles. “i’m really glad you trust me with your secrets, grian. i’m glad you can be open and talk to somebody about things like this. it’s not healthy to just hold things in.”

grian just nods with a smile, accepting the hug. though.. he felt.. insecure all of a sudden.

scar wouldn’t ever betray him, would he?

scar was super nice and a good friend, of course he wouldn’t! why would he ever question that? he was just nervous about actually telling someone something he’s kept to himself forever. like he said, he hasn’t even told xisuma about it.

“do you ever miss your old life?” scar spoke quietly into the hug. grian just keeps his eyes closed.

“what’s to miss? i don’t remember any of it,” he shrugs quietly. “i.. guess the idea of my real parents is.. something.”

“yeah.. but xisuma is a good dad. he cares and loves everybody,”

“yeah.” grian smiles. he.. guessed he kinda was like his dad. he loved xisuma. “he’s.. he is.” he’d never actually admitted that xisuma was like his dad—he never actually really thought about it, having a dad. maybe it was mostly because he felt like it might make him uncomfortable, not knowing how xisuma felt about that kind of thing. he stays close, eyes closed. “don’t you have parents?” he asks. scar shrugs.

“of course i do.” he smiles. “i just haven’t seen them since i came here. we visit in between seasons,” he hums. grian just nods. he didn’t really know what that meant. “i write letters to them during the season cause i miss them a lot.” he closes his eyes. grian shifts to rest against him more comfortably.

“.. what’s being with your parents like?” he felt like this was new. he had xisuma and he loved him a lot, but.. he felt like being with his actual parents would be different. scar just smiles.

“i dunno,” he giggles. “it’s… i don’t know.” he shrugs and smiles. “it’s good. it’s.. well, i feel safe and protected and happy. and warm.” he hums. grian just listens in; he felt all of those things with xisuma. he smiles. “i always get so excited to see them after a long season here. this is my second one,” he grins. “oh, last season i got so homesick. i thought i was gonna quit at times, not being able to see them and hear their nice words and feel their warm hugs when i got stressed. but i didn’t. i’m glad i got to at least communicate through the letters,” he nods. “when i feel really down, i look at them and read them again. sometimes they keep me going,” he softly hugs grian closer. the avian smiles.

“i feel that way around xisuma,” he spoke up. “he’s always there when i need him.. always being protective and—safe.” he closes his eyes and plays with the fabric of scar’s robes mindlessly. “after.. the other day.. he helped me to not be panicky.” he exhales. “it was scary.. but he was there for me.”

“of course he would be. he loves you,” scar smiles. “he loves you a lot, grian. there’s nothing you could do that would make any of us dislike you or anything. that’s a promise i can make for everyone.” he nods. grian smiles. he believes him. that, he did believe.

“he’s always making me breakfast and giving me hugs and helping with my wings,” he smiles softly and closes his eyes. scar smiles as well. “i guess.. it doesn’t really matter if i meet my real parents or not. xisuma is just as good.” he nods. “i love him.” he curls closer into scar, beginning to frown as he knew he had been away from him for too long. he felt tears fill his eyes and he blinks them away, shakily exhaling as he stifles a sob. 

“grian?” scar pulls back and frowns, softly reaching out to wipe his face dry. “it’s okay,”

“i wanna see him.” grian sniffles and reaches up to continue drying his eyes, more tears falling. “i want ‘suma..” he definitely didn’t like how panicky he felt when going long times away from xisuma. he didn’t understand why he felt that way. he let out a soft, shaky cry and scar rubs his shoulder.

“okay—let’s go see him!” he smiles reassuringly. “i’ll walk you home. it’s late, anyways.”

“but.. if you walk me home then there’s nobody to walk you home..” grian let out another soft cry. he was stressed. he was away from xisuma—and he was stressed and he missed him, and—

“hey, come here.. everything’s gonna be okay! everything’s okay,” scar pulls him into another close hug and grian clings close, continuing to cry and let out shaky breaths, burying his face into his shoulder. “i can walk home by myself—i promise i’ll be safe.” he nods.

“that’s not something you can promise..” grian cries.

“well..” he did have to admit he was right. “i’ll be sure to message xisuma when i’m home to let you know!” he nods and smiles. “home, safe and sound. not a scratch on me. i promise.” he pulls back to softly meet his gaze. “and us tree elves always keep our promises. always.” he nods and softly rubs his shoulder, voice serious before he’s hugging him close again. grian just sniffles and nods quietly against him, drying his eyes.

“okay.. i trust you,” he nods before pulling back. scar smiles.

“good!” he rubs his arm softly before shifting to stand and make his way down the ladder, out of the treehouse. grian follows. he sniffles and dries his eyes, yawning. crying always made him tired. he holds onto scar’s arm as they began walking, leaning into him quietly. he liked being with scar. he made him feel happy and safe.. though, it was a different kind than with xisuma. he didn’t understand, but he liked it nonetheless.

the lights were dim, the tv screen flickering with the show that played. keralis rests on the sofa next to xisuma, resting comfortably. he felt like he could almost fall asleep with the dim lights and show playing. he kept watching the show he’d already seen, about to let himself fall accustomed to the sleep that threatened to take him.

a particular surprised gasp from the admin beside him had pulled him back into reality, making him smile. he watched as the credits began to roll, laughing at xisuma’s words. “no. no—there’s no way it ends like that!” he looks over at keralis as he’d began to laugh.

“no, because you’re lucky. the new season just came out,” he grins over at him.

“well—let’s get on with it!” xisuma smiles happily. and frankly keralis was the lucky one; oooh if he introduced him to a show with that ending… keralis was lucky. he shifts to get more comfy, smiling as the first episode of the new season is starting. it felt good to be able to relax.. it had been so busy lately, with multiple projects going on at once and admin duties and meeting with people… it was very overwhelming and being able to just relax and enjoy the show with keralis and no other worries was really good right now.  well, until it hit him.

“grian!“ xisuma quickly shifts to get up, keralis frowning and looking over. “oh i completely lost track of time…” the admin frowns worriedly. he can’t believe he did that… grian was already worried about the possibility that he’d be forgotten, or-or—oh no!

“shashwammy, relax.“ keralis stands and softly rubs his shoulder, meeting his gaze. “he’s okay, i promise. we’ll go get him, he’ll understand you got busy.” he smiles reassuringly. and, yeah, while he was right—he didn’t understand. he didn’t know how grian had felt about—him being all busy. and despite him not even busy with other things and just taking time to breathe and not be overhwelmed… oh, he felt awful.

though, he just nods and heads out of his base. he makes his way to scar’s, hoping they had also lost track of time. though, that didn’t seem to be the case as they had ran into each other.

grian immediately lets go of scar and runs to xisuma as soon as he had seen him, burying his face into him and clinging close. scar chuckles at him as he steps closer, grinning. he loved how they were so attached—it was the sweetest thing and honestly reminded scar of himself. well, when he was younger. and he was mostly like that with his mum. he giggles at the thought of xisuma being like grian’s mum.

grian hugs tighter onto xisuma, his wings fluttering happily as he’s reunited in his arms once more. xisuma rubs his back, allowing grian to relax into him further, refusing to let go anytime soon. he.. decided he wouldn’t mention him losing track of time. grian seemed okay—just his usual clingy self that the admin adored so much.

“ready to go?” he spoke with a smile. grian nods, hugging him tighter.

“bye scar,” he spoke, turning to wave. scar smiles and waves.

“bye!” he smiles happily before turning to leave. grian just hugs xisuma tight.

“let’s get home, i still have to make dinner yet.” xisuma spoke with a smile, hugging grian close. the avian nods and slowly lets go, though he smiles as he hugs onto the admin’s arm, remaining close as they make their way home.

Chapter Text

grian pants as he runs through the forest, eyes wide in panic. he heard the footsteps following behind him, unforgiving against the cold ground. grian felt tears pour down his face, dodging branches hanging in the way. he gasps though when he failed to notice the root below his feet, falling face-first into the ground. he tries to stand, though to no avail, everything feeling dizzy.

he tenses when he’s grabbed, hands holding onto him tight. he tries to get away, tries crying out though his voice was long gone, only the tiniest of whimpers escaping. he tries desperately to get out, to get away.

then he’s home. he’s safe. he rests against xisuma, feeling his heart rate going down to a normal pace as he relaxes into the safety that was the admin. he was okay…

suddenly he felt hands in his wings. they weren’t their normal gentle and caring touch from xisuma like they always were; no, they were harsh, ripping at his feathers. he cries and tries to squirm away, shaking his head, begging for it to stop. xisuma would never hurt him! he’d never be so uncaring and rough with his wings! he’d never—

grian gasps awake, immediately breaking into tears, curling up and shaking violently. he pulls his wings close, panicking as he sits up and looks over them. they ached dully, bringing one delicately into his shaking hands.

“grian?” grian immediately backs away from xisuma, shaking his head. his feathers fluff up in defense, eyes closing tight. he couldn’t look at him. couldn’t see the hurt in his eyes.. the admin pauses. he had.. never done that.. not to him… not since the woods. he felt his heart sink as grian stares at him before returning to his wings, looking over them as if checking for injury. “are you okay?” xisuma spoke, taking a step closer.

grian didn’t respond. too worried about his wings, he continues checking over them. they seemed okay.. his feathers were okay.. he sniffles and dries his eyes, exhaling shakily. he wanted xisuma.. but…

no, no.. no—he would never. he wouldn’t ever hurt him. it was just some stupid nightmare…

hesitantly, grian crawls closer and buries his face into xisuma’s chest. the admin’s arms immediately go around him, hugging him close. “come here.. you’re safe, i promise.” he’s immediately speaking. grian moves his arms to hug onto him after a moment, breaking down. xisuma frowns and furrows his brows, rocking with him softly. “i’ve got you…”

grian continues to cry, eyes closed tight. why? why would he ever have a nightmare like that?? he grips onto xisuma tighter, sobbing more. he began to cough after, pulling back a bit to get more air.

“hey, hey come on—calm down, it’s okay. breathe,” xisuma spoke softly, patting his back. grian coughs before whimpering and shifting to curl close once more. he exhales shakily, hugging onto him tight. why would he ever have such a dream…

he hugs onto xisuma tighter, sitting with him until he was calm enough to move. he shifts and rubs his eyes, pulling away. “grian?” xisuma frowns, noticing how off he acted.

“i’m going to go see scar.” grian spoke as he got out of bed and headed out of the room. with furrowed brows, the admin follows.

“grian—without breakfast?”

“i’m not hungry.” grian spoke before the door had closed and he was gone. staring at the door, he almost missed the gentle hand on his shoulder.

“shashwamm.. what happened?”

“i… he… left.”

tears running down his face, grian closes his eyes tight. he didn’t want to be with xisuma right now… he wanted to be alone. for now—he knew he would start missing xisuma soon and would go back, but right now he just… wanted to be alone.

avoiding the forest completely, grian makes his way around it. he didn’t care if he got lost—someone would find him and bring him home. plus, he could always just fly.

tears filling his eyes and falling once more, grian does that anyways, worrying—what if the person wasn’t nice? he’s already…  he takes off into the air, sniffling and drying his face as he flies to scar’s base. he didn’t care if he was home. he lands in front of the treehouse before climbing up. sniffling, he curls up on the floorboards, breaking down into more sobs. why.. why was his brain like this? why would he have such a terrible nightmare? he trusted xisuma! he wouldn’t ever do something to hurt him. never.

he continues to cry before hearing the sounds of someone speaking. he falls silent and quickly dries his eyes before curling up more, softly exhaling.

“so—i dunno, that’s why i—grian??” scar was speaking before noticing him, quickly moving closer. “are you okay?” he frowns and grian leans close into the elf once he’s in his arms.

“no.. not really,” grian replies, voice raspy from crying, drying his eyes.

“do you wanna talk about it?” scar prompts with a frown, hugging him closer. grian just sniffles. “we are in the treehouse, after all.”

“i can leave if you want,” he heard mumbo speak up. grian just sighs and rests against scar quietly. after a moment of getting no response, scar spoke again.

“you can talk whenever you’re ready, i’m here for you and so is mumbo.” he offers a smile. grian just sniffles and nods, drying his eyes once more.

“i.. had a really bad nightmare..” grian began. “it.. wasn’t like any that i’ve had before.. it..” he felt more tears fill his eyes. he sniffles. scar frowns and rubs his back.

“i’m here to listen,” scar assures as he kept grian close in his arms.

“it.. started in the forest.. like when i… and then.. i was home. and xisuma..” he broke down once more, crying and burying his face into scar’s shoulder. the elf frowns worriedly down at him, hugging him closer.

“shhh.. i’m here,”

“he… he helps me preen my wings sometimes, but.. in the dream he.. didn’t… it was worse…” he sobs. “xisuma wouldn’t ever hurt me and i know.. but…” he shakes his head and cries. “i left this morning and i feel even worse but i needed a moment, i felt like i had to be away, i—“ he shakes his head more and closes his eyes tight. scar frowns worriedly.

“hey! it’s okay—come on, breathe.” scar spoke softly as he felt grian’s breaths becoming uneven. “there’s nothing to be ashamed of! it happens—nightmares happen.” he rests his head onto grian’s. “xisuma wouldn’t hurt a fly! and he especially wouldn’t hurt a grian,” scar closes his eyes as he keeps him close. “he cares way too much about you. he got mad at me because i wasn’t careful enough—he’d never intentionally hurt you or anyone. he loves you way too much.”

“i know…” grian replies softly once he’s finished speaking, softly hiccuping. he hugs onto scar tighter. “what if he doesn’t want to see me because of how i just.. left this morning?.”

“nonsense!” scar smiles reassuringly. “he’d want to know you’re okay,” he softly strokes a delicate hand through his hair. “he’ll be so happy when you come back, he will!” he nods. grian felt more tears fill his eyes, quietly falling. he felt awful…

“can.. can you tell him?.” he spoke up again after a moment.

“tell him what?” scar looks down curiously.

“about my nightmare..” grian looks away, ashamed, wings drooping. though, scar just offers more assuring smiles.

“yeah! if that’s what you’d want,” he nods softly, continuing the back rubs. grian just nods—he didn’t think he would be able to tell him something like that..

“thank you..” he sniffles and hugs onto scar tighter. what would he ever do without him…

“you don’t need to thank me, grian. i’m always here for you. so is mumbo and xisuma and keralis,” he kept him close. though, grian had doubts. he just frowns and hugs scar closer, not saying anything else.

“what do you mean he’s gone?” keralis frowns softly, rubbing xisuma’s shoulder.

“he… woke up.. i assumed he had a nightmare… but… he’s never just—left.” xisuma looks over at keralis, the tears finally falling. keralis frowns more at the tears and reaches up, delicately holding onto the sides of his helmet.

xisuma hated that.

he grabs onto keralis’ hands, forcing himself to calm down. he didn’t want to do anything irrational… he pulls his hands down, giving them a soft squeeze as he looks away.

“shashwhammy.. here—let’s sit,” keralis furrows his brows, softly leading the admin to the sofa, sitting. xisuma joins him. “talk to me—what happened.”

“he just—left. i think he had a nightmare, he woke up crying, then he…” xisuma frowns more before meeting keralis’ gaze. “you don’t.. think he’d have nightmares about me… do you?.”

“i.. don’t know why he would,” he frowns. he thought quietly. that wouldn’t make sense. “he’s only ever had nightmares about doc, that you mentioned.”

“i know..” xisuma’s voice cracks, becoming shaky. he closes his eyes tight, more tears falling. keralis frowns, softly keep a hold of his hand. he appreciated it, returning the quiet hand squeeze. he is just…  used to dealing with things alone, working himself past what he could barely handle to keep his mind busy, and then letting it out in the darkness of the night. but, he did appreciate the help; keralis taking time to listen to him and comfort him.. 

“i’m sure he’ll be back soon.. he won’t last long times away from you anyways,” he knew the words were meant to help, but they only made him worry more. 

“do.. do you think he only stays because of the imprint?.”

“shashwamm.. no, i don’t think that at all. it isn’t like that at all.”

“how can you be so sure?”

“i..” keralis bites his lip. “it just doesn’t make sense.”

“young avians don’t tend to get attached to people whom they haven’t imprinted on.” xisuma exhales.

“did he imprint on scar, too?” keralis watches him. oh.. well… he supposed he had a point.. xisuma just softly exhales. “come on—i think you need some tea.” keralis shifts to stand, bringing xisuma up with him. the admin just glances away, though he closes his eyes once he’s in his arms. he relaxes into the hug, wrapping his arms back around keralis and hugging him closer. he sighs softly. “you’re okay. grian’s okay. everybody’s gonna be okay.” keralis assures with a smile. “that’s one thing you’ve always made sure of.”

he knew the words were meant to help. “what.. what if i mess up? what if i ruin things by trying to fix it..”

“xisuma,” keralis softly pulls away, looking up to meet his gaze. “we trust you. you make mistakes—and that’s okay; nobody is perfect. there’s nothing you could do that would make anybody not have faith in you. you’ve always made things right. you’ve always made sure everybody is safe and happy, and we all know that. there’s nothing that could happen that would make anybody not believe in you.” he pulls him back into the close hug, xisuma returning it tight. keralis rests his head onto his shoulder, eyes closed. xisuma let’s his eyes fall closed as well, relaxing. he hugs keralis closer, not planning on letting go anytime soon. though, he does as keralis pulls away, looking up to offer a sweet smile.

“now—how about that tea?”

xisuma sits at the dining room table as keralis insisted he make the tea. he kept his eyes closed as he thought quietly. he hated feeling like this. so hopeless.. so…

“tea’s ready,” keralis smiles sweetly as he sets  the mug in front of xisuma, sitting across from him with his own. he watches the admin quietly, smiling. “what are you thinking about, shashwammy?”

“what if.. he doesn’t come back?.” xisuma spoke as he frowns. keralis shakes his head.

“that wouldn’t happen. he was just shaken up this morning—he loves you tons, he would always come back.” he nods. xisuma just closes his eyes. “what makes you think he wouldn’t come back?”

“i don’t know.. i just—he seemed so afraid this morning… of me…” he looks away, tears threatening his eyes once more. keralis shakes his head.

“he might have been stuck in the nightmare still when he woke,” he spoke. “he trusts you—it’s different than a nightmare about doc who he’s been afraid of.” he nods. “he knows you’d never hurt him. he knows that and nothing would ever change his opinion or trust for you.”

“but—“

“not even a nightmare.” keralis shakes his head. “you’re—it might be a little weird to think about—but you’re technically like his dad.. he’s imprinted on you, and that’s how it’s gonna stay.” he smiles. xisuma glances back down. “you don’t have to worry about losing him, i promise.”

“.. i know,” he sighs softly.

“i’m sure he’s gone to scar’s, he helped him calm down from that awful nightmare, and he’s back in reality. and he’ll come knocking on the door at any moment.” keralis nods and sips his own tea. xisuma watches him before doing the same with a soft sigh. he wanted grian now…

as if someone out there was listening to his thoughts, there was a knock on the door. he immediately rises to his feet, keralis following suit. he makes his way to the door and opens it, smiling when he’s immediately hugged by grian. “grian! welcome back,” he hugs him back, tightening his arms around him. 

“i’m sorry,” grian quickly spoke, tightening his grip.

“no, please don’t apologise,”

“i’m so sorry..” grian felt the tears fall, clinging close to xisuma. the admin just shakes his head.

“i forgive you, don’t worry.” he smiles and rubs his back. he looks at scar and smiles softly. “thank you..”

“yeah!” scar nods with a sweet smile. xisuma kneels down to wrap secure arms around grian before standing, lifting him up. a giggle escapes the avian, happily nuzzling into him and clinging close. he likes being lifted. scar lets himself in, taking a seat onto the sofa. xisuma just watches him, though he closes the door and makes his way to sit beside him. “so.. i have a message to you. from.. someone.” scar spoke.

“oh?” xisuma lifts a curious brow. grian frowns and hides his face, hugging tighter onto xisuma.

“can i say now or should i wait?” scar whispers up to grian. the avian just shakes his head. scar just nods. “uh—it’s not from grian by the way!” he grins up at the way xisuma was looking at him. “nope!” he stands. “oh—tea?” he says as he makes his way into the kitchen. xisuma just chuckles at the elf before looking to grian.

“i’m so glad you’ve come back..” he spoke softly, hugging him close.

“why wouldn’t i?” grian looks at him, hugging him tighter.

“because of how upset you seemed this morning,” xisuma hugs him. grian just rests his head.

“i was just..” he shakes his head. “i’d always come back to you.. always.” he hugs xisuma tighter, not wanting to let go.

“always?”

“always.” grian nods, smiling as his wings flutter. he rests his head back against xisuma’s shoulder with a soft yawn. he hugs him closer before shifting to stand. “could you run a bath?” he asks. xisuma just smiles.

“of course,” he ruffles his hair before standing and making his way down the hall. grian follows close behind with a smile. once in the bathroom, grian hugs onto the towel xisuma hands him before watching him quietly. he leans into him as the tub fills, closing his eyes.

“i’m sorry i left this morning..” he spoke, frowning. xisuma turns and grian immediately hugs onto him.

“you have nothing to be sorry for,” he spoke as he rubs his back.

“but i do..” he frowns. “i..”

“.. is it about your nightmare?” he watches as he nods after a moment. “that’s not your fault, either.” he hugs him closer. grian just sniffles and nods, frowning quietly.

“okay..” he closes his eyes and smiles at the hand running through his hair. he pulls back after a moment when xisuma moves to shut the water off, yawning quietly. he smiles. “thank you,”

“of course,” xisuma ruffles his hair once more. “just call my name if you need anything, alright?”

“okay,” grian smiles before watching him leave. he felt his wings droop once the door closed, though he proceeds to get undressed and into the bath. he smiles at the warm water, wings fluttering. he liked baths a lot.

xisuma made his way to the bedroom. he had to be alone, to think things out.. had to relax. he never liked being stressed. he had to do something that made him happy. what made him happy? farming.. tea, reading, grian…

he sighs shakily and takes deep breaths. he’d hate to accidentally snap at someone.. when he gets stressed he always hides so he doesn’t. he is always terrified of getting to the point he snaps, then nobody would trust him.. always hides his emotions so nobody knew, he knew he wouldn’t say anything he didn’t mean, and maybe that was the scary part. not that he thought of anybody in a bad way—he closes his eyes and sighs.

why would grian ever have a nightmare about him? it didn’t make sense… he just really hoped it didn’t ruin their relationship. he really hoped grian still trusted him.. he didn’t know what he would do if he quit trusting him. he didn’t think he could handle it.

after a while longer to compose himself he stands and makes his way back to the dining room, sitting at the table across from keralis. scar glances up with a grin. “so.. the message?” xisuma lifts a curious eyebrow. scar gasps.

“oh! yeah! though, it’s not a happy one,” he begins to frown as he sips his tea. and, wow okay—that’s really good tea.

“what happened, scar? i know you know,” xisuma spoke, getting right to it. scar just looks down.

“he.. had a really bad nightmare,” he sighs. “about.. you,” he looks up to meet xisuma’s gaze.

“me?.” the admin frowns, his heart sinking. why would…

“he was mostly upset because it was you and because he trusts you—and he still does! but..” he shrugs. “he was just really shaken up about it earlier, is all.” he nods and sips his tea more.

“why would he..” xisuma trails off, staring down at his tea in silence.

“i’m sure it was just a bad nightmare! nothings changed,” scar smiles. xisuma just nods quietly to himself. he couldn’t help but still worry.. why would he ever have a nightmare of him hurting him?. he would never do such a thing… he couldn’t even imagine himself raising his voice at grian, let alone…

“shashwamm,” keralis reaches over to softly pat his hand. xisuma frowns more. “it has nothing to do with the imprint,”

“imprint?” scar looks up curiously.

“it’s.. like how baby animals imprint on their mothers.” keralis spoke with a soft sigh. “avians do too, but he’s imprinted on xisuma because, as we assume, he doesn’t have his mother.”

“oh..” scar frowns and bites his lip. the thought of grian not having his mother made him upset. he didn’t know what he would ever do without his own mother. he looks back to xisuma. “well, it explains him not liking going long without seeing you—but regardless, he still loves you!” he smiles.

“exactly,” keralis gives xisuma’s hand a squeeze. “the imprint has no say in how much he loves you.”

“imprint?”

the three’s heads turn towards the door where grian stood, wet towel in his hands and curious gaze meeting theirs.

Chapter Text

“imprint?”

the three’s heads turn towards the door where grian stood, wet towel in his hands and curious gaze meeting theirs. xisuma felt his whole body pause. why did it matter whether or not grian knew about the imprint? he mostly felt like he wouldn’t understand. would he be upset he hadn’t told him sooner? he just offers a sweet smile and opens his arms, grian hesitating a moment before making his way closer. he leans into xisuma, his smile growing when he had grabbed the towel and continued to dry his hair.

“the imprint,” he began, giving grian a soft gaze. “it’s… for avians, it’s like an attachment. to.. a parent,” he spoke, giving grian a look. the avian felt his wings twitch, looking down. “why do you seem sad?” he spoke, softly combing the damp hair back from his face.

“i.. don’t know,” he shrugs. “i’m not upset about it,” he steps closer to rest against xisuma happily. “.. are you?.” he asks hesitantly. xisuma felt his eyes widen a bit, shaking his head.

“no! no, of course not.” he hugs him closer. “maybe i should have mentioned it sooner, i just—didn’t think you’d understand.” he sighs softly. grian just shrugs. he was kind of glad to understand the attachment he had to xisuma, but.. it did make him worry. he worried he didn’t want it.. he couldn’t help it but.. was xisuma okay with it? was he upset he had an uncontrollable attachment to him despite saying he’s okay with it?

a little too late to wonder that now, he supposed.

“i’m sorry,” he spoke after a moment. xisuma frowns and shakes his head.

“we’ve talked about that,” he spoke gently. “getting rid of bad habits,” he smiles. grian was unable to stop his own smile from forming, leaning closer into xisuma. he hated feeling like he should be sorry for it. he knew xisuma understood.. he hoped. he seemed like he did, letting him know he didn’t have to be so sorry. he didn’t know what he would do without xisuma.

“do you need help with your wings?” his voice interrupts his thoughts. grian frowns and shakes his head, hiding his face further.

“they’re fine.” he hated lying. he always hated lying to xisuma, but he really didn’t want anybody to touch his wings right now. not after.. he felt the protective arms around him tighten, softly rubbing his back. xisuma rests his head onto grian’s. he felt like it was a lie, but he didn’t press—especially after the nightmare he had. he would hate to make him more upset about it than he was and possibly uncomfortable around him.

“okay, just let me know if you need help.” he spoke, not pressing any further, just softly hugging him close. “are you hungry?” he asks, looking down at him. grian nods after a moment, moving to actually sit in the chair beside xisuma’s. he looks at scar as the admin prepares breakfast, returning the wave and smiling, his wings fluttering happily behind him. scar grins and moves to sit in the chair beside grian’s.

“hey! we should do something today. i dunno what though!” he smiles at him. grian plays with his fingers quietly, though he nods with a smile.

“yeah,” he meets scar’s gaze before looking away. he thought quietly to himself. “what should we do?” he spoke to fill the silence. 

“we’ll come up with something!” scar was speaking with a smile, nodding. “i’m sure of it. we always do!” he giggles. “even if we just end up sitting and drawing the whole time,” he smiles. he watches grian with a soft smile. he seemed really interested in the table.. he wondered what he was thinking about. he waits for breakfast patiently, glancing around the room.

grian thought to himself, looking up when feeling a light touch to his arm, smiling as he watches scar draw. he sits beside him in content, watching him quietly with a smile.

he always liked watching scar draw. he was very articulate with his lines, hands skilled as he sketched. he felt his wings twitch as he shifts to rest his head against scar’s shoulder, continuing to watch him. he could watch scar draw all day, honestly.

“tired?” xisuma chuckles as he moves over, setting a plate of waffles and eggs in front of grian and scar. the avian just lifts his head from scar’s shoulder, shrugging.

“a little,” he spoke before digging in. he felt so hungry.

“thank you!” scar spoke before beginning to eat as well. man could xisuma cook. he needs to come over more often!

the admin and keralis join them at the table after a moment, sitting across from the two. grian felt his wings twitch, though he just continues to eat.

he wanted to be beside xisuma.

though, he pushes his instincts away. xisuma was allowed to sit wherever he wanted. he didn’t always have to be beside grian. if he wanted to sit with keralis he could. he just.. he always eats breakfast beside him.

“what do you two have planned today?” xisuma spoke up. grian remained silent, continuing to eat. he almost didn’t want to leave.. he wanted to be with xisuma. he almost felt like the nightmare drove him closer—though without touching his wings—just almost to further prove he would never hurt him.

“we’ll probably draw and hang out today,” scar spoke with a shrug before shoving his mouth full of another large bite of waffles. xisuma nods. he decided he wouldn’t mention the treehouse. the treehouse was for secrets, and hey—maybe it was also meant to stay a secret itself. “mumbo might hang with us, too.“ he nods.

“that’ll be fun.” xisuma smiles softly, looking to grian after. he noticed how he slowly ate, keeping his gaze mostly downcast. he wondered what was on his mind.. he seemed bothered. he just reached over and gives his hand a gentle squeeze, assuming it was due to his worries over the nightmare. oh how he wanted to hug him and not let go… he didn’t know how to help, honestly. something had to.

time, probably. either way, he would be there for him and help in any way possible. whatever would help, he would do. especially for grian.

breakfast continued on in a similar fashion, grian and scar talking amongst themselves and keralis sharing gazes with xisuma, the two speaking up every so often. once the meal had ended xisuma stands to collect the dishes, moving to the kitchen to get them done up.

scar stands and smiles sweetly at grian, looking to xisuma after. “we’re gonna head out now!” he smiles. the admin returns the smile.

“you two be safe,” he spoke. he smiles as grian makes his way over and into his arms, clinging onto him tight.

“i’ll see you later,” he spoke, burying himself against the admin.

“i’ll see you later,” he chuckles as he runs a soft hand up through his hair. grian smiles and hugs him tighter.

“i love you,” he closes his eyes. xisuma felt his smile grow.

“i love you too, grian.” he hums before slowly letting go. grian smiles and hugs him more before letting go as well, moving over to scar with a smile.

“we’ll see you later!” he smiles happily with a wave, grabbing onto grian’s hand afterwards and making their way out the door, the two falling into giggles. 

“oooh! i like that one!” scar gasps, smiling widely down at grian’s drawing.

“thank you, i spent the most time on it.” he smiles up at the elf. he giggles.

“i can tell! it’s awesome,” he nods before retrieving his own journal. “i’ve drawn more trees,” he giggles. “well, and more inspiration for my garden—but mostly trees.” he grins.

“i like them,” grian smiles. scar returns it.

“thanks! i always try to make each and every one different but that doesn’t always work,” he smiles and looks back down at his own journal. grian does as well, admiring the art.

“yeah, but i like them anyways. they look the same, but—“ he points out different spots where the branches move out in different directions and how the leaves had different textures. “there’s still little differences. every tree is unique,” he looks up. scar watches him, his smile growing.

“you’re right, grian.” he smiles more. he hums and looks back over his art before closing his journal. “what else should we do?” he smiles. “we can build if you want! we can watch the clouds or something though if you’d like to just relax today,” he shrugs and lies back in the soft grass. grian smiles and does the same. gazing up into the sky, he allows his eyes to fall close as he yawns softly. he opens them back after a brief moment, looking up at the clouds.

scar hums to himself, looking at the clouds with a smile. he gasps softly and points to one in particular. “i like that one!” he giggles. grian attempts to follow his finger, smiling.

“yeah,” he nods. he stares up and watches the clouds mindlessly, letting his mind start to roam. he plays with his fingers quietly. he missed xisuma. they haven’t even been gone that long.. grian worried. though, he did tell himself he would try to push away the imprint and his instincts the best he could. xisuma would probably be happier that way, right?

grian looks over when hearing a noise, beginning to smile as he sees scar having fallen asleep. he just laughs softly and looks back up to the clouds, exhaling softly.

he felt bad. he couldn’t help it, of course.. he knew xisuma understood which is probably why he was so okay with it, but still. he felt bad. he knew it was because he was an avian; scar wasn’t like that with his parents and so far mumbo wasn’t either.. not that he knew.

he lets his eyes fall closed. would xisuma be happier if he didn’t come back home? he did have keralis. he would be way too kind to tell him off. to tell him that he didn’t like the imprint, or that he didn’t even want to take him in in the first place—that he kind of had to or else he would have himself letting a child die alone in the forest on his conscious for the rest of his life.

grian sniffles, sighing. he tries to think back to all of the kind things scar had said about him and xisuma, how the admin really did love him and it wasn’t just because he was, well, the admin. that he took him in because he truly did care, not just because he felt like he would be seen as something different if he didn’t, or like it was his job.

he lets out a shaky exhale . he hated feeling this way. why did he feel this way? he shifts to sit up, glancing over at scar. he watches him sleep. he didn’t want to wake him. 

he gasps and quickly dries his eyes and face, turning to face the source of the footsteps in the soft grass.

“oh—hey grian,” mumbo waves with a smile.

“hi,” grian shifts to stand.

“did scar fall asleep?” mumbo began to laugh. grian smiles, wings fluttering as he gazes down at the sleeping elf. 

“yeah, he did.” he looks down at scar. “we were watching the clouds,” mumbo nods with a soft hum.

“well i need him awake,” he chuckles before walking closer. “scar,” he whisper-yells, grinning as he jabs his foot into the elf’s side. grian smiles. “wake up—“ he spoke before kneeling down. “you’re getting pranked if you aren’t up in ten seconds!” he pokes scar’s face, successfully pulling him from his dreams.

“wha.. oh! mumbo!” scar rubs his face with a yawn, sitting up. “did—did i fall asleep?” he laughs softly.

“yea, you did.” grian smiles. scar looks from him back to mumbo.

“oh—wow,” he shifts to stand and smiles at mumbo. “mumbo! are you here to build with us?” he smiles. mumbo just chuckles.

“i mean..” he shrugs. “i’m here to talk to you about something important.” he lifts an eyebrow. scar, still seemingly half asleep, rubs his eyes before he gasps with the sudden realisation.

“oh, well then we should go to the treehouse immediately!” he grins. he smiles over at grian. “we won’t be long, promise!” he gives him a soft pat to the shoulder before turning with mumbo. grian watches them walk away, his wings twitching before drooping. this.. was the second time… why did they keep doing this?

grian just sighs and turns. he supposed he shouldn’t be upset. he had secrets too, but… he hated feeling this way.

grian moves quietly, going to the fountain and watching the water. he moves to sit on the other side of it after a moment, settling down against the bricks. he hated being alone.. at least it was day, and at least scar’s garden was safe.

sighing, grian pulls one of his wings into his lap. he supposed he should at least try to get them a little cleaner. especially now that mumbo was here.

xisuma hums happily as he settles onto the sofa. keralis sits down beside him with a smile. “that took longer than usual,” he huffs, sipping his tea.

“yeah,” keralis nods with a smile. “that’s okay, though.” he nods. xisuma copies the action.

“yeah,” he smiles. he glances over to keralis before looking away with a bit of a laugh. “we should find something to do,” he shifts to sit up and glances around. keralis lifts a curious eyebrow.

“well, i think you should relax.” he chuckles. “you’re always doing something, being so busy lately. why do you think i got you into that show?” he tilts his head. “it got you off your feet for at least a little bit,”

“and i did,” xisuma looks over. “and now i really should get back to work.” he frowns a bit. “i have so much to do, and i still haven’t found grian’s code. i really shouldn’t wait to do it either—anything could happen.”

“do you have any ideas?” 

“no—i feel like i’ve tried everything but clearly i haven’t if his code still isn’t there,” he bit his lip.

“don’t stress,”

“how can i not?” xisuma sighs and looks away. “it..”

“it’ll come to you,” keralis smiles sweetly. “it will. and grian is careful—he knows about it now, so we don’t have to worry too much.”

“yes, but he also nearly got taken. i still haven’t found who’s responsible for that.”

“come on,” keralis just grins and stands, xisuma’s gaze following him curiously.

“what?” he lifts an eyebrow.

“come with me. i’m going to help you not stress so much,” he holds out a hand. xisuma just narrows his eyes, though he smiles and accepts his hand anyways.

“okay,” he watches keralis curiously. he follows him back to the bedroom with a sweet smile. “how are you going to do that?”

“easy,” keralis smiles at him. “help you relax,” he lets his hand go. “first—take off the armour shashwammy. you act like anybody is gonna just.. bust in and attack you,” he laughs softly. “you’re home, at your base. you can let your guard down at least a little.”

“keralis, i really don’t think—“

“it will help,” he nods. “if you’re comfortable then you can relax easier.” he chuckles. he watches the admin curiously, smiling when he had finally caved.

“i just don’t think it’ll help.” he spoke, though he wanted to give keralis the benefit of the doubt. he was just trying to help, after all. he begins removing the individual armour plates, before getting to the segmented under-armour below. he was left in the black sweatpants and gray shirt, glancing up at keralis. “happy?” he lifts an eyebrow. 

“very.” he giggles. “come on—tea helps you relax more, doesn’t it?” he smiles sweetly at him.

“yeah,” xisuma replies, deciding he should go along with it. he did.. kinda feel better already, after all, despite feeling vulnerable without his armour.

he follows keralis back to the kitchen where he got xisuma some more tea. he accepts it, happily drinking more with a soft exhale. he follows him to the sofa, sitting down quietly beside him.

“feeling better?” keralis looks over. xisuma just nods.

“yeah.. i actually do,” he smiles softly before looking over at keralis. “i still don’t know why you did all this,” he shrugs.

“because—i care about my shashwammy, of course!” he smiles. “is there anything else you could think of?” he watches him. xisuma just stares down at the floor and shrugs. he’s already done so much that he hasn’t in a while, let alone around someone.

“not really,” he shrugs. keralis just nods. 

“that’s okay. i’m glad you’ve done this much,” he smiles sweetly at him. “like really. you should take time to relax more often. settle with one of your books and just.. dress more comfortably.” keralis spoke as he watches him. he hated seeing him all stressed all the time; it was rare he got to see the admin like this. he knew it would help, though, and he would make sure he got him to take care of himself. 

“now, you’re all comfortable and can relax.” he smiles up at him before grinning. “i’ve got the perfect movie i think you’ll like a lot.” he says, grabbing the remote.

“scar—i really can’t thank you enough,” mumbo spoke, smiling. he felt so much better! he couldn’t ask for a better friend than scar, really. like, iskall would never do this much for him!

“no problem,” scar smiles weakly as he drinks more water. he should probably get a snack, too.

“though, i just.. can’t help but feel.. guilty,” mumbo furrows his brows. the worst part was probably how.. weak scar seemed after.

“oh—no! don’t worry about that!” the elf chuckles. “i’ve helped you, that’s all i care about.” he spoke as he yawns. “we uh.. should probably get grian,”

“yeah.. can you walk alright?” mumbo looks over as he shifts to stand. scar just nods, furrowing his brows before shifting to his feet. he sways upon standing, him and mumbo reaching for each other just as quick before he could hit the floor. he exhales softly, offering a smile.

“i’m fine.. don’t you worry,” he nods.

“i.. well, i am, but grian also might.” mumbo frowns. “you didn’t tell him, did you?”

“no, that’s your secret.” scar chuckles. “the treehouse is for secrets, but i can’t give away others secrets—only my own.”

“yeah, but.. won’t he worry?”

“maybe.. i know what to tell him.” scar nods. after making sure he had his balance and everything was less blurry, he let go of mumbo’s arm to venture around in search for the avian. “grian?” he calls out, frowning. “where could he have.. oh!” he smiles as he steadily makes his way to the fountain. “oh grian! hey, what—are you okay?”

grian sat on the bricks cross legged, wrist deep into his twitching wings. his expression held one of pain, hands red with what scar assumed was blood. he jumps upon hearing their words, exhaling softly. he glances over and quickly looks away. “‘m fine,” he mutters in response.

“grian—you’re bleeding,” scar frowns worriedly as he kneels beside him. grian shakes his head and scoots back.

“don’t touch them. i’m fine,” he spoke. though, he knew he wasn’t. it hurt so bad. his wings were sensitive as they came, the bleeding from that stick didn’t help at all, and now his hands were covered in blood and oh this wasn’t good..

though, looking up grian noticed both scar and mumbo didn’t look too good, either. “are you two okay?”

“yes.” mumbo answers immediately, tearing his gaze away from grian’s red hands and his beautiful wings. “i have to go. catch you later.” he spoke before turning to leave. grian frowns and sighs, looking up at scar.

“don’t worry! he just.. gets- queazy at the sight of blood.. what happened? you’re hurt,” scar steers the conversation away quickly. grian just looks down and sighs.

“i’m fine. i just.. tried to clean my wings.. quickly before you two got back. because i knew you would worry.”

“grian.. i would worry because i know you have trouble, and.. i understand because of your nightmare—“

“it doesn’t matter,” grian spoke, removing his hands from his wings to wipe the blood against his pants. he winces and sighs.

“yes it does. come on—we need to get to xisuma.” scar shifts to stand. he frowns when feeling grian’s grip on his arm.

“scar—please.. it’s fine—look, the bleeding will stop soon—please don’t bug him. i’ve probably already annoyed him enough..” he looks away.

“what? you could never annoy him!” scar offers a reassuring smile. “he likes making sure you’re okay! he cares too much not to,” he grabs grian’s hands and gives them a gentle squeeze. “i promise you nothing you ever do could annoy him.”

“but..” grian looks down. “i.. i imprinted on him.. surely that has to be annoying. i’m needy and clingy and i..” he closes his eyes as he trials off.

“grian, hey—no,” scar frowns and properly sits down to scoot closer. he gently cradles grian’s face between his palms so he meets his gaze, offering a smile when he looks up. “never say that. okay?” he rubs delicate thumbs against his cheek bones. “you’ve done nothing wrong.” he slowly shakes his head. “yeah, you imprinted on him—but that’s nothing you can control! it’s natural. you didn’t even know what it was and xisuma has no issue with that! he’s just fine being your dad,”

“but.. what if he just pretends?.” grian frowns.

“grian, i’ve known xisuma for a long time. he’s not like that,” he watches grian closely. “he’d never pretend to care about somebody, that’s not how he is. he’s a very caring admin and just a lovely person overall.” he leans closer to rest his forehead against grian’s. “just like you.” he smiles.

“how can you be so sure i don’t.. annoy him?. especially with all his work—he hardly gets anything done cause i’m..”

“oh grian!” scar chuckles. “don’t think like that,” he scoots closer. “please don’t think like that. i know you feel like.. you take time away that he could be working, but really—it’s…” he sighs softly. “it’s not like that at all. he cares about you and would always find time for you,” he softly rubs his face with his thumb, touch remaining delicate. “just.. please don’t be upset,” he sighs softly before smiling. “come on. hug,” he smiles sweetly. grian smiles and leans closer, arms wrapping around scar happily. scar smiles and hugs the avian close, rubbing his back and nuzzling him softly.

“thank you scar,” grian lets his eyes fall close. scar smiles and hugs him closer.

“of course!” scar smiles happily and softly hugs grian closer. he glances at his wings, frowning softly at the blood. “but.. we really should get xisuma to look at your wing.. it’s not looking too good,”

“it.. really hurts,” grian frowns and leans closer into scar. the elf hugs him tighter before pulling away.

“come on,” he shifts to stand, holding a hand out to him. grian hesitates, though he accepts it and allows scar to pull him up to stand. scar smiles sweetly at him and gives his hand a soft squeeze before leading him back to xisuma’s base. grian follows beside him, eyes downcast. he hated not being able to push bad thoughts away.. surely there was something that would work. though, he just decides it would fix itself. maybe spending more time with him would help.

scar knocks onto the door once they’re there, waiting patiently. grian shifts on his feet before scar sighs softly, grinning at grian. “they’re probably busy,” he spoke before opening the door and letting himself in.

“we should probably wait..” grian frowns, the guilty feeling returning once again.

“hmm, we would if you weren’t hurt. come on—this is too important.” he spoke as he led him forwards. 

in there xisuma and keralis sat, administrative panels open. grian was confused but scar just looks over them before smiling at grian. “admin stuff,” he whispers to grian before looking around. he moves to the door and opens it back before closing it a little louder to get their attention.

xisuma looks over at the two, closing the windows before standing. “grian,“ he greets with a sweet smile.

“hi,” grian replies, wings twitching. he moves closer to hug onto xisuma, slowly tightening his grip as he relaxes into him.

“grian, how are—what happened to your wing??” xisuma immediately begins to frown worriedly. grian frowns, wings twitching. he droops them on purpose so they were hopefully out of xisuma’s reach. though, probably not due to xisuma being much taller. the thought comforted him nonetheless.

“don’t touch them,” he spoke, sniffling softly. he sighs. “i.. was trying to clean them and.. it… didn’t turn out too good,” he frowns and pulls away. xisuma frowns and nods.

“come on,” he spoke softly before smiling at keralis. “i’ll be back,”

“of course,” he nods in understanding. xisuma returns it before leading grian back to the bathroom. he closes the door and grian takes another step back. xisuma just watches him before grabbing the first aid kit.

“sit,” he spoke. grian just shakes his head, frowning. “come on,” xisuma took a step closer. grian takes a step back, closing his eyes tight.

“no,” he spoke. xisuma just watches him.

“do you not trust me?”

the question lingers for a few moments.

“.. of course i do.” grian finally spoke up. xisuma just opens his arms, grian only hesitating for a moment before stepping closer to cling onto him.

“you know i’d never hurt you.” xisuma spoke gently.

“.. i know,” grian replies, voice wobbly.

“come on—i’ve got you.” the admin assures, rubbing his back softly, avoiding his wings. grian  shoves his face closer into xisuma. the admin smiles. “do you trust me?” he asks again. grian nods silently against him, arms tightening around him. “do you want scar to help?” he asks. grian felt his wings twitch, though he just nods again after a moment. “okay,” xisuma strokes a soft hand up through his hair, smiling as his wings flutter before twitching. he had to get to that immediately.

after calling in scar and keralis, grian felt his feathers start to rise. “come here,” scar smiles gently. “you trust us, right?” he tilts his head. grian just sniffles and nods. he felt small. he takes a step forwards into scar’s arms, almost flinching when feeling scar hug him close. he hugs his arms to his sides and grian felt his heart rate start to pick up. “grian—please relax. it’s just a hug!” he smiles softly, nuzzling into the avian’s hair.

xisuma waited a few moments before he began, wanting grian to relax more. he would hate for him to freak out too bad. 

“s-scar..” grian shifts quietly, furrowing his brows when he felt the arms around him tighten.

“you’re okay,” scar spoke softly before giving xisuma a look. “we’re here to help you! we’d never do anything to hurt you, grian.”

“i-i.. i don’t want to be held.” grian felt his eyes tear up. he didn’t like this hug.

“it’s just a hug,” scar spoke, voice quiet and gentle. though, grian just whimpers quietly and shakes his head.

“please let go,” grian tries to shift away once more, wings twitching when the arms once again tighten.

“xisuma,” scar spoke softly, looking up. the admin just nods and steps closer, softly reaching out to grab onto his wing. grian immediately flinches, trying to pull away.

“no! no no no, please don’t touch them, please—please let go,” he felt the tears finally fall, breaths quickening. he didn’t like this hug.

“grian, i’ve got you. you’re okay,” xisuma spoke softly, moving a hand to ruffle his hair in hopes it would help. he moves to his wing after, delicately beginning to spread the feathers to find the injury. though, grian just shakes his head.

tears falling and everything becoming dark, grian felt lost. he felt the trees of the forest slowly taking shape around him, his breathing quick and uneven, heart rate fast and eyes squeezed shut. he shakes his head and attempts to speak, though he could only breath heavily and babble incoherent words. only one thing would work.

he began to flap his wings as hard as he could in hopes of knocking the enemies away. he tries calling out for xisuma, crying and struggling against the stranger’s strong arms. he cries harder, shaking violently. it seemed like no matter how loud he cried he only became more quiet. he wanted xisuma. he wanted to go home…

“x?” scar frowns up at the admin worriedly, keeping grian in the tight hug.

“i think he’s panicking,” xisuma spoke before glancing to keralis. he steps closer and delicately reaches out to hold onto his other wing so xisuma could look at the injury without accidentally harming him. “i need you to hold this one—be careful.” xisuma glances over at him. he just nods and stands between his wings, the space tight. he grabs onto the other and holds it as still as possible so xisuma could continue searching for what was wrong.

“hold it as still as possible,” xisuma spoke as he finally reached over to the first aid kit to grab supplies. every touch made grian flinch, continuing to shake his head and breathe heavy, shallow breaths, his body trembling. he continued to speak out incoherent pleas, and honestly xisuma wasn’t even sure if he knew what he was saying. they were mostly mutters that none of them could make out, stuck in his panic. they absolutely hated seeing him like this..

xisuma cleans up the blood as much as possible before applying pressure to the wound to hopefully stop the bleeding. it didn’t take much to stop it, though, it just being a small gash from the stick that happened to bleed a lot. his wings were the most sensitive, after all, so naturally it would be much more painful. he cleaned the area he could as well, removing what twigs and leaves he could find. then, on the count of three, they all released him at the same time and took a step back to give him air.

grian takes in deep breaths, continuing to panic. though, he finally breaks down into sobs upon being released, sinking to the floor and curling up, knees hugged close. he sobs, calling out for xisuma, words finally understandable. the admin was there immediately, softly hugging grian close.

“i’m here, i’m here. i promise grian—don’t you worry. no more crying,” he assures, hugging him close. grian cries and clings onto him, hiding his face as he shakes. xisuma frowns and rests his head onto grian’s, eyebrows furrowed.

scar glances to keralis who softly nods, the two shifting out of the room to give grian and xisuma some room and alone time. grian grips onto xisuma tight, syncing his breathing with xisuma’s after a bit. his harsh cries died down to soft whimpers, curling up into xisuma’s lap and staying close, refusing to move for even a moment. his breaths remained shaky, though they were much calmer than before. xisuma continues rocking with him, hugging him close.

“i’m so sorry, grian… i’m so so sorry..” he’s speaking. yes, he had helped him, but he felt like he terrified him while doing so… grian just sniffles and shakes his head, curling closer.

“it’s not your fault.. it.. they tried taking me..” grian mutters, shaking his head and clinging xisuma closer. the admin frowns.

“grian?” he looks down curiously. “they.. you… you’re safe,” he sighs softly. he strokes a gentle hand up through his hair, staring down at him with a frown. grian just sniffles and relaxes more, nuzzling happily into the admin, wings fluttering.

“i love you, ‘suma..” he mutters softly, staying close.

“.. i love you too, grian.” xisuma replies after a moment, staring down at him, watching as he was for sure he had just fallen asleep. he sighs softly, hugging him close.

this was worse than he thought.

Chapter Text

“happy birthday, grian!“ a beautiful woman with long, brown hair and gorgeous hazel eyes meeting grian’s own. his smile was wide, looking happily down at the cake, decorated with blue and white icing and ‘happy birthday grian’ in pretty writing, resting on the table in front of him. he bounces with excitement, grinning even more.

“you’ve gotten so old!” a man appears on the other side of him, brown hair styled back, darker brown eyes meeting grian’s gaze. the avian smiles even more.

“make a wish!” the woman claps. grian smiles and closes his eyes, makes a wish, then blows out the candles.

“what did you wish for?” the man spoke again, though his voice glitches, going from normal to deeper and more robotic and back. grian frowns a bit before looking from the cake back up to him.

“that.. that we’d all be together forever!” grian began to smile again, nodding. “that you’ll always be my parents and we’ll always be happy and safe.”

suddenly the whole mood changed, the room darker. “grian. you know better.” the woman now appears in front of him, her eyes dark and hollow, glaring down at him, scolding him in an angry voice.

“what?.” grian frowns immediately.

“you know what happens when you tell somebody your wish.” the man appeared next to him, now beginning to smirk, own voice deep and angry, though something more sinister bubbled beneath.

“i..” grian looks down to the cake, now black and red, the middle ripped out and blood all over. he looks back up to the two in front of him, tears falling. “i’m sorry—“

“what for?” everything was back to normal. it’s like he was in a completely different spot, everything suddenly flicking back to the way it was before. like it never happened. he shakily exhales, watching as the woman moved beside him. “grian? are you alright, dear?” she questions with a worried expression. grian just nods, sniffling and drying his eyes.

“i’m.. fine,” he swallows and looks back to the cake, it returned to its blue and white icing. he looks back up.

“okay, well.. ready for some cake?” they’re all smiling again. though, something still didn’t feel right…

“get down!” the scream was sudden, the woman being tackled to the floor.

“what’s happening??” the woman, who was now suddenly xisuma, screams, looking up at the intruders with horror.

“‘suma!” grian jumps up, eyes wide.

“grian— hide! ” the man hisses.

“what—!” grian gasps as he’s suddenly shoved down to the table, the air knocked from his lungs. “xisuma!” he cries out, trying desperately to get away and get over to him. “let me go!” he sobs as he watches through a blurry gaze as the man—now looking a lot like keralis—fought with the intruders, two others attempting to carry xisuma away. he sobs more, gasping when he felt something hard hit against his head—

grian gasps awake, pulling his knees close as he breaks down into sobs. it wasn’t long before he was in strong, protective arms, hugging him close and xisuma’s gentle, comforting voice surrounding him. “i’m here, you’re okay. breathe,” he soothes, hugging grian and rubbing his back. grian continues to cry, gripping onto xisuma for dear life. the admin kept him close, bringing a hand up into his hair. grian calms a bit more, hugging tighter onto xisuma.

“you’re alright,” he soothes, hugging grian and continuing to rub his back softly. he strokes through his hair, knowing that’s helped him recently. grian did start to calm at that, snuggling closer into the admin with a still-tired yawn, hugging close as he began to fall the rest of the way back asleep as he was half awake, the sobs mostly calmed as he succumbed to the sleep. the admin chuckles, rubbing his back before shifting to softly lie him back, pulling the blankets up around him and tucking him in once more.

with a soft sigh, xisuma made his way back to the living room. he sits beside keralis with a yawn. “he’s okay.. another nightmare i assume,” he sighs softly. “i don’t know what’s causing them or how to help,” he frowns. keralis watches him with a frown of his own. 

“i think.. i just..” he sighs. “i think it might be due to trauma..” he spoke gently, biting his lip. xisuma frowns and looks up.

“what.. do you mean?” he watches him curiously.

“well, think about it… he’s been weird about his wings, he’s more jumpy.. a lot more clingy to you. and it’s ever since the incident in the woods,” he frowns. xisuma felt his heart drop.

… he was right.

“you’re right… what do i do?” he looks up with a frown.

“well.. you just.. have to be there for him, shashwammy.” he shrugs. “there isn’t a whole lot you really can do. just be there for him, let him know he’s not alone. and make sure he doesn’t feel.. ashamed of what happened, or blame himself.”

“he knows i’m there,” xisuma looks down.

“let him be sure,” keralis squeezes his hand. “he loves you tons, he can’t help how he feels right now. he went through something really bad, and at a young age—it’s just important you’re there.” xisuma looks down, nodding quietly.

“you’re right,” he sighs. “i just.. hope he hasn’t felt too alone..”

“i’m sure he hasn’t felt alone around you.”

“i should have been there..” xisuma closes his eyes.

“shashwammy, no,” keralis frowns worriedly. “you can’t think like that. it wasn’t your fault in any way. it’s important you’re there now.” he looks up when he stands, biting his lip.

“you’re right. i’ll be back,” he spoke before leaving to the bedroom. he almost felt weird about leaving him alone. as if he would be taken again—it almost made him afraid.

he peeks in to see grian still asleep. he just smiles softly and walks closer, sitting onto the bed. he watches him quietly, sighing. “i’m sorry..” he moves to stroke a delicate hand through his hair. “i hope you can forgive me..”

he watches as grian began to stir, sniffling and rubbing his eyes. he smiles when he notices xisuma, happily shifting to curl closer. he yawns, rubbing his face as he relaxes completely against him, wings relaxing against his back after stretching them out. they twitch in discomfort, grian furrowing his brows and burrowing himself closer into xisuma. they really needed cleaned..

“another nightmare?” xisuma asks softly. grian just frowns and snuggles closer.

“.. yeah,” he sighs and rests against him.

“wanna talk about it?” xisuma continues to softly stroke his hair. after a moment grian shrugs, clinging closer to him.

“well… i.. always have the same nightmare on my birthday..” he sighs.

“it’s your birthday?” xisuma lifts his brows. grian just looks down, shrugging.

“no.” he spoke after a moment, voice hushed, wings now pressed flat against his back. xisuma frowns.

“did you just lie?” he lifts an eyebrow. grian just sinks closer into him.

“i’m sorry,” he mutters quietly after a moment.

“don’t lie again, okay?” xisuma strokes his hair softly. “it’s okay, just.. don’t do it again.” he kept his voice gentle. grian nods and sniffles.

“i’m sorry..” 

“no—don’t be,” xisuma offers a soft smile. “you don’t have to talk about the nightmare if you don’t want,” he rubs his back. “it’s your birthday?” he questions after a moment.

“.. yeah,” grian sighs. “but it doesn’t matter. i got older—that’s all it means.” he leans closer into xisuma, eyes closed.

“i think it matters,” the admin smiles softly, keeping him close. “we always celebrate birthdays here.” he rubs his back softly.

“you don’t have to celebrate mine,” grian frowns.

“why not? i think it’s important we celebrate your birthday, grian.”

“i don’t think it is. you don’t have to tell anyone it’s my birthday either.”

“it’s your birthday??” the two turn to look to the door to see a gaping scar. he smiles widely after, making his way over. grian sighs. “happy birthday, grian!” he giggles and hugs onto him tight.

“thanks,” grian just returns the hug before letting go, curling back into xisuma after.

“oh this is so exiting!!” scar claps happily. “we’ll have so much fun today—you’ll have so much fun today!” he giggles and crawls onto the bed beside grian. “what should we do first?” he watches grian with a smile. though, the avian’s felt half forced.

“i don’t know,” he shrugs. 

“hmm.. well that’s okay! we’ll figure it out. we can draw or build or watch the clouds—we can invite mumbo over as well!” he claps and gasps. “you should invite all of your friends!”

“all of my friends are here besides mumbo,” grian just smiles at him. did he consider mumbo his friend? he thinks so. did.. mumbo consider him his friend?

he hopes so.

“that’s okay! it can be a small party! a little get together.” he grins. though, grian shakes his head.

“no parties.” he spoke with a frown. “we.. can all just hang out, but.. no parties.” he glances away. he knew they probably wouldn’t understand but he couldn’t help it.

“okay,” scar just smiles reassuringly. wow, grian seemed really insistent on no parties.. maybe he was just nervous about being around so many people! he could understand that. “i understand.” he pats his arm softly. “it’ll just be a little get together with us.. so you can spend your birthday with all your friends.” he nods with a sweet smile. grian just returns it quietly.

“okay,” he closes his eyes with a soft exhale. xisuma just smiles at the two.

“keralis is preparing breakfast,” he spoke up, watching grian quietly. “can i check on your wing?”

grian suddenly felt uncomfortable, the pain now there. he just frowns and closes his eyes tight.

“i-i guess..” he was still wary about letting anyone touch his wings, them being sensitive and personal as they were. though, he trusts xisuma…

he jumps when he’s first touched, softly exhaling. he swallows and sits, tense, though scar spoke up with a smile.

“hey! look what i drew yesterday,” he’s smiling widely as he shows grian his journal, something to hopefully distract him from xisuma moving about his wings. he felt them twitching, twisting his hands into the blankets below.

“i like them.” he chokes out, looking at the drawings. he loved scar’s art.

xisuma just smiles at the two before returning his attention back to his wing. scar was too sweet. he delicately spreads the feathers apart where he knew the injury lied, smiling softly upon seeing it was healing itself well. he hums and fixes the feathers after, glancing at grian. “mind if i clean them?” he asks.

grian swallows. he was fine. xisuma would never hurt him. he’s fine.

“.. yeah.” he spoke, almost hesitantly before looking back down to scar’s distraction.

“here’s the tree i wanna build next. and see—this is a pathway design i really like and wanna use somewhere! i don’t know where yet, though.” he was speaking, hoping to distract grian. which it worked—he relaxes into xisuma’s gentle, caring hands, smiling at the feeling of preening. he will feel so much better once they were cleaned. he was seeing mumbo again, too, so he was happy to have them clean and beautiful before mumbo could see them next. then he would really be impressed.

not.. that impressing mumbo mattered. he still didn’t understand, but he just pushes the confusing feelings down.

“i like them,” he replies. scar smiles happily.

“i’m glad! we could do it together,” he nods. grian smiles and nods as well.

“it’ll be fun,” he nods.

“yeah!” scar looks from grian back down to the journal. “so… i was thinking me, you and mumbo could hang for your birthday! we don’t have to have a party if you don’t want—but i think we should all still be together.” he nods with a smile. grian plays with his fingers a bit nervously, wings twitching against xisuma’s hands. he.. supposed that would be fine; he’d like it, even, being with everyone he cared about. as long as there wasn’t a cake or party or presents or wishes—he would feel safe.

“okay,” he nods. “i’d like to see mumbo.” he smiles.

“yay!” scar smiles back happily and claps.

“b-but only after my wings are clean.” he spoke, glancing down at his hands once the words were out. scar began to grin, grian’s face growing hotter when he saw. scar giggles, earning a curious glance from xisuma. the elf just clears his throat and glances away.

“uhm.. yeah, after that.” he nods. he still grins, watching grian. there was a reason grian got so flustered when mumbo was mentioned. but why? it made him wonder…

xisuma continued to clean up grian’s wings, making sure the feathers were in the right directions and that there wasn’t anything buried in between. he checks on the wound once more, softly stroking the feathers down on the opposite wing after, smiling at the twitch. they were so pretty, and soft. he liked grian’s wings. he knew scar did, too. and keralis—everyone who had seen them did. and it wasn’t any wonder—they’re so mesmerising! they’re colourful and growing well, too, he must admit. they have gotten bigger since he had first found him. he wondered how big they would get.

“all finished,” xisuma spoke after a moment with a chuckle. grian smiles and sits up from where he had been leaning into the touch. he almost missed it—it was nice.

“thank you,” he smiles at him before standing with scar.

“come on! let’s eat then invite mumbo over! oooh!!” scar gasps and squeals. “we can all spend the night!! if that’s okay with xisuma at least—it’ll be so fun!” scar claps before looking up at the admin. “is that okay? can me and mumbo stay the night?” he asks, bouncing with excitement. the admin just chuckles and nods with a smile.

“of course, scar. i don’t mind,” he smiles sweetly. scar laughs and claps, tackling grian into a tight hug.

“yay!! yay yay yay!” he closes his eyes happily as he hugs onto the avian before grinning. “come on—let’s go eat then get mumbo.” he nods. grian smiles widely and nods as well. he actually felt excited for his birthday, he had to admit. he couldn’t wait to spend the day with everyone and have the sleepover with scar—and mumbo. he felt his wings flutter at the thought.

following scar to the dining room, grian sits and scar quickly sits beside him, leaning in close. “hey!” he smiles and grabs onto his arm softly. “it’ll be so fun! i’m excited,” he grins. grian smiles back.

“me too,”

“man! you’re an adult now—“ scar gasps. really? he was? grian lifts an eyebrow.

“i am?”

“yeah! you’re thirteen, right?” scar giggles. grian nods before looking over when hearing a chuckle from xisuma.

“scar—you’re silly,” he hums before moving to help keralis to set the table. scar just grins up at him before looking back to grian.

“why thank you,” he hums. grian just smiles before beginning to eat.

“happy birthday, grian.” keralis spoke as he sat. he smiles. grian returns it, taking a bite.

“thank you,” he glances down.

“so you’re an adult now, according to scar?”

“according to scar,” grian repeats with a grin.

“thirteen, right?” scar whispers to him. grian just nods quietly, taking another bite.

“you’re as old as me! well, until my birthday.” he giggles before taking a big bite of waffles. grian smiles and takes another bite of his own. xisuma chuckles and sits beside keralis, smiling at grian. grian felt his wings twitch, glancing at the door. he felt dread from the dream pool in his stomach, beginning to frown. he just continues eating quietly. he wanted to be beside xisuma..

he just continues to eat quietly, glancing over whenever scar would speak and nodding to his words. after breakfast, grian hands his plate to xisuma before him and scar set out to retrieve mumbo.

“he should be in his base. or maybe at doc’s.” scar spoke as he walks. grian felt his wings twitch. what if doc found out about his birthday? what if he wanted to come to the party—not a party? well.. he did save him—more than once—he supposed he could come… plus, ren was nice. he shouldn’t be so afraid of doc, but he still couldn’t help it.  

grian tenses once they’re at the forest. he pauses and stands at the tree line, staring off into the trees. scar notices and looks back, frowning. “grian?” he steps closer, offering a gentle smile. “hey, it’s okay. come on,” he spoke, glancing at his wings and watching as they began to fluff up. though scar liked when they were fluffy, he knew it wasn’t for a good reason. “hey—we can go around! it’ll take longer but if it makes you feel better,”

“yes.” grian replies immediately, letting out a shaky breath and not taking his gaze off the woods, as if someone would appear at any moment, making themselves known. scar smiles gently and softly reaches out, grabbing onto grian’s hand.

“come on,” his voice was gentle as he smiles and leads him away from the trees and to the path a little ways away. grian grips tight onto scar’s hand, not letting go for anything. scar was safe.. he was safe with scar. nobody would try to take him if he was here with him.

once at mumbo’s base, scar grins as he lets himself in. “mumboooo! come out come out wherever you are!” he sings, smiling widely.

“scar?” they hear a voice somewhere about the base, and scar giggles.

“and grian!” he calls, grinning over at grian before continuing to search for mumbo.

“downstairs,” he had spoke again. grian follows scar down the steps, lifting a curious eyebrow. scar lifts his eyebrows, smiling.

“ooo! what have you built?” he smiles.

“oh,” mumbo turns to face the two and smiles. “just practising some redstone,” he looks between the two. grian felt his wings twitch.

“woah! what’s it do?” scar smiles as he studies the contraption. “i’m guessing for potions?” he chuckles once he notices the brewing stand.

“it’s an automatic potion brewer, because, why not?” mumbo chuckles before smiling. “look,” he checks certain things that grian had no idea were. “it also refills itself,” he grins. “okay—so first you make sure this chest is filled with water bottles and these hoppers are filled with the ingredients you need for whatever potion stays in this chest. it’ll automatically start and will keep making the potion until this chest is full. it’s really cool,” mumbo turns back to the two with a smile. both of their faces were blank, though scar just smiles happily after.

“awesome!” he claps. grian just watches them curiously. he had.. no idea what any of what mumbo just said was, but reguardless—he was impressed and he wanted in. “anyways—we came here because it’s grian’s birthday! and we wanted you to come over to celebrate.” scar nods with a wide smile.

“oh— happy birthday mate!” mumbo smiles sweetly at grian.

“thank you,” the avian replies with a smile, feeling himself become flustered, his wings fluttering. oh no—oh boy— he glances away, tries to think of anything other than mumbo just having wished him a happy birthday—

“we’re having a get together at xisuma’s—the strictly-not-a-party for grian!” scar bounces happily.

“sounds great! i’m in,” mumbo grins.

“yay!” scar claps. “so far it’s just me, you, keralis and of course xisuma and grian.” he nods and smiles. 

“sounds great—it’ll be fun!” mumbo smiles. he loved the idea of getting to spend the day with scar and grian—they didn’t get much time to just hang out and he would like that.

“yay— come on!” scar smiles and happily makes his way up the stairs. grian glances at mumbo before turning and making his way up the stairs as well, feeling his wings fluff up. mumbo would definitely see them—he hoped he liked them… who wouldn’t? especially if they’re fluffy. everyone likes when they’re fluffy.

grian smiles at scar before the three made their way back to xisuma’s. scar sings to himself as they walk, grinning. they made it to the path and he began to walk it before mumbo spoke up. “why are we going the long way, scar?”

“oh,” scar glances at grian before shrugging. “cause it’s.. the scenic route,”

“wouldn’t the forest be more scenic?” mumbo lifts a curious brow.

“no.” scar replies immediately, continuing to walk. grian looks down and frowns. he felt bad.. he would hate to keep mumbo from going the way he wants just because he’s.. being selfish. he stops in his tracks, causing scar and mumbo to look back at him.

“we.. we can go through the woods if you want,” he glances at mumbo.

“grian,” scar steps closer, frowning softly, voice gentle. mumbo just lifts a curious brow, though he doesn’t question.

“i don’t mind either way,” he smiles. grian just looks away.

“uh—it’ll be quicker if we don’t stand around!” scar spoke with a smile, trying to keep the mood light. he continues to walk the path, grian and mumbo following after. grian frowns as he walks behind scar. he felt his feathers start to rise, unable to stop his gaze from drifting to the trees.

as they walk he feels his breathing start to get off track, becoming uneven. he trails behind scar and mumbo, their conversation fading away as he felt himself falling.

it was suddenly dark, the woods around him barely lit by the rising sun. his eyes shoot wide open, beginning to look around. how..? where? why was he here? he didn’t want to be here!

tears immediately began to pour down his face as a whimper escapes his throat.

“grian,” a faint voice speaks, grian turning around, becoming more frantic. who is that? what do they want? they’re—they’re coming for him!

he tries to run, though, he can’t move his feet. they stay glued to the spot and he lets out a cry. he wanted to go home! where was scar and mumbo—why is he here?!

grian gasps when feeling harsh hands grab him, his eyes closing tight as he screams.

“no!”  he cries out and falls to the ground.

“grian!” scar is suddenly in front of him, grian clinging onto him for dear life. they kneel on the ground of the path, grian shaking as he holds onto scar and breaks down against him. “hey, it’s okay—you’re okay!” he rubs his back and hugs him close, eyebrows furrowed worriedly. oh, poor grian…

grian sobs against his chest and clings to his robes. oh no… why.. what was that?. he just relaxes into the back rubs, sobs eventually dying into small whimpers and sniffles. he keeps his face hidden, trying to sync onto scar’s breathing. he doesn’t do it like xisuma.. he.. he wants xisuma…

more tears stream down his face as he pulls away, breaths shaky. “grian? are you okay?” scar questions with a worried frown. the avian just avoids his gaze.

“i want xisuma..” he mutters.

“we’re almost there!” the elf offers a sweet smile. “i promise—he’ll be right there once we’re back. come on,” he smiles and offers his hand, grian grabbing onto it. he walks beside scar on the side of the path farthest from the woods. he sniffles, forcing his gaze to stay forwards. scar and mumbo continued their conversation, assuming grian didn’t want to talk about it and definitely not about to press him.

once back to xisuma’s, grian is immediately making his way inside and into the admin’s arms. “oh—grian,” xisuma smiles sweetly down at the avian, unaware of the whole thing. scar just offers a smile, though it seemed half true.

“we’ll talk later,” he spoke quietly. xisuma just watches him curiously before glancing down to grian. he held him closer, softly stroking a hand up through his hair. grian sniffles, burying his face further into him, wings twitching. he was safe.. xisuma was here and he was safe…

grian had calmed down after a bit, staying leaned into xisuma, eyes closed comfortably. he flinched lightly and looks over when feeling a tap to his shoulder, sinking closer into the admin and looking over. his wings flutter upon seeing scar, the elf smiling widely in return.

“hey! i just showed mumbo my drawings and stuff—we could go outside and hang out! anything you wanna do; it is your birthday, after all!” he smiles happily. grian just nods, though he doesn’t make any attempts to move away from where he clings to xisuma.

“okay, but.. you’re better at coming up with things to do,” he watches him. scar just grins.

“well it’s a good thing i’ve got ideas.” he nods happily. “come on! we’re gonna head out,” he smiles sweetly before moving over to mumbo who is handing scar’s journal back to him. grian watches the two and exhales before he is pulling back from xisuma after a moment. the admin offers a smile, ruffling his hair. grian smiles at that, wings fluttering.

“you have fun, okay? me and keralis will be right here preparing food,” he smiles. grian just nods with a smile before turning to head over to scar and mumbo.

“grian’s ready!” scar smiles sweetly down at him before grinning back at mumbo. “come on,” he giggles before leading them outside.

“sooo, what’s the plan?” mumbo glances between the two. scar just grins.

“i dunno… i was thinking we could just go on an adventure? would you like that grian?” he turns towards the avian with a smile. grian just nods along. yeah, an adventure. he was brave. scar claps and smiles. “yay! does flying sound good? i hope flying sounds good!” he spoke as he retrieves his elytra from his inventory. when he glances at grian, he giggles. the avian just grins back, wings outstretched. he took note of mumbo’s expression when he seen them, his smile growing.

“i was born ready to fly,” he smiles at scar. the elf grins.

“good.” he looks over at mumbo after. “you?”

“yep,” mumbo spoke as he straps on his own elytra, gaze downcast as he tries to keep himself from looking at grian’s wings. he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by staring but man were they just… wow.

“good… catch me if you can!!” scar spoke between giggles before he’s hurriedly shooting off a firework and taking off. he laughs madly, grian smirking as he takes off after the elf.

grian hums happily as he flies, smiling widely at the wind through his feathers and hair. he absolutely loved flying. he noticed mumbo behind him, feeling his face grow warmer. he smiles happily and chases after scar. scar gasps when he notices grian getting closer, shooting off a few more rockets to go faster. grian just smirks, glancing behind himself to see if mumbo was watching before he takes off at full speed.

he caught up to scar quickly, swooping down and suddenly flying up right in front of him.

“grian!” scar gasps, laughing and immediately changing directions. grian giggles and continues flying after him. he gasps when feeling something hit against his arm, his smile widening as he saw mumbo.

“got you!” he laughs.

“not you too!” grian smiles happily and flies after mumbo as well.

their game of tag went on, grian smiling happily as he tags onto scar before him and mumbo fly away from the elf. scar was mostly it, but—at least there weren’t any deaths!

grian lands in a clearing after a moment, smiling happily. he looks up and watches as scar lands and mumbo stumbles once he hits the ground. he grins.

“grian will still give you flying lessons, if you want!” scar teases with a grin.

“oh hush,” mumbo huffs, though he glances away. grian just watches him, beginning to smile himself.

“i’m not opposed, you don’t have to be ashamed.” he grins. scar giggles at grian’s reply. the avian just snickers. he felt his wings flutter at the response from mumbo, him rolling his eyes though his smile gave away his true feelings.

“we should head back. i’m hungry!” scar spoke up. grian nods.

“me too,” he spoke. he felt like he was starving.

he watches as scar shoots off with a firework, glancing over at mumbo before taking off himself. he felt his smile grow as he flew away; he liked making eye contact with mumbo. he felt his face grow warm, huffing quietly to himself. he really hoped his wings looked nice enough today.. maybe he should have spent extra time preening..

grian playfully chases after scar as they fly, the two giggling about. they’re back at xisuma’s quite soon, landing out front. he smiles and runs a hand up through his ruffled hair, disheveled from the wind of the flight. he glances at scar before making eye contact with mumbo once again.

heading back inside, grian smiles at the sweet smell filling the air. he looks at xisuma, immediately walking over to hug him tight.

“grian!” the admin greets.

“hi,” grian spoke quietly, nuzzling against him happily. he chuckles. “what’s that smell?“ grian asks as he pulls away, hands still holding onto xisuma’s clothes. he wore something different today, not his usual armour and stuff. he liked it, keralis’ influence. unless he changed in a bad way. then he would be upset. he didn’t want xisuma to change.

“you mean the cupcakes for your birthday? or the special meal i’ve prepared you?” xisuma smiles sweetly down at him, stroking a hand through his hair. grian felt his wings twitch, though xisuma spoke up first. “no, it’s not a party. i just still want to do nice things for you for your birthday,” he smiles. grian returns it.

“okay,” he leans closer into him for another hug before he’s pulling back and moving to scar with a smile.

“we should watch a movie while we eat!“ he smiles. grian just nods in agreement. he hadn’t seen many movies, he would like to watch more. “i really wanna introduce you to my favourite movie, grian.” scar smiles happily. the avian nods in response with a smile; if it was scar’s favourite, it had to be good.

grian settles onto the sofa between scar and mumbo, looking at the screen and watching quietly as scar found the movie. he then smiles happily. “oh grian you’ll love it. it’s so beautiful—such a lovely story of fantasy and romance and—oh i think you’ll like it a lot.” he smiles over at him. grian just felt his wings twitch; it.. definitely sounded interesting.

once the food was ready and served they settled back onto the sofa and the movie started. grian watched the intro quietly, lifting a curious brow. this.. would be interesting.

“i don’t think this is how it happens at all,” grian spoke quietly between a bite of cupcake.

“yeah, not realistic.” mumbo spoke up as well with a grin. grian glances over and meets his gaze. he quickly looks away.

“shh.. of course it’s realistic!” scar grins over at him.

“it’s… no,” grian laughs. the elf just elbows him with a smile.

“just keep watching.”

“no way,” grian frowns, his wings twitching. scar just grins. “why would he do that?”

“there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation,” scar spoke up.

“there’s no reasonable explanation for saying something like that,” grian frowns.

“just keep watching!” scar once again just grins. mumbo smiles and rolls his eyes at the two.

“no way!” grian smiles happily, wings fluttering. he shifts his position to sit cross legged, leaning in slightly. scar grins at him and looks back to the tv.

“i told you,” he hums.

“i still don’t think what he said was okay but.. man he really did redeem himself.” grian smiles.

“he does! and sometimes things are like that.” scar shrugs. grian just huffs, wings twitching as he looks back to the movie.

the movie continued on and grian kept watching with interest. and, okay, scar wasn’t wrong about this movie being good. he pulls his knees close as he kept watching, picking at his fingers quietly. his mouth fell agape and he felt tears tickle at his eyes as the movie came to its close. he sniffles and hugs his knees closer. scar just smirks upon seeing his reaction, smiling. grian quickly blinks his tears away, face turning red as he realised scar and mumbo had noticed his reaction. the two just chuckle and exchange a glance.

it was just so sweet and wholesome… grian couldn’t help but tear up a little! he had never seen something like this.

“soooo.. what did you think?” scar spoke as he stands and stretches, gazing down at grian with a wide smile. the avian just smiles and stands.

“it was good!” he nods. “though i still don’t think what he said was right.”

“yeah.. kinda crappy. but maybe a ‘doing the wrong thing for the right cause’ type of deal?”

“maybe.. and why didn’t she tell him? miscommunication isn’t.. good.”

“yeah, they could have talked it through and helped a lot.” scar nods and laughs. “but it’s all good in the end! that’s what matters.” he nods. he then looks at mumbo and grins. “sooo what do you think?” he asks, shifting up onto the balls of his feet with his hands behind his back. mumbo just chuckles.

“eh, it was alright.” he shrugs. scar huffs.

“just alright?” he pouts.

“yeah,” he laughs. “i liked it. it’s a good movie,” he shrugs. “just… not my preference.” he hums. scar nods in understanding. he understood that. romcoms weren’t everyone’s thing.

grian smiles at xisuma as he waves at him, turning to hug onto the admin with a smile, wings fluttering softly. “you should let me clean them tonight,” the admin spoke up, stroking a soft hand up through his hair. grian smiles and nods, leaning closer into him.

“okay,” he agrees. he lets go after a moment, smiling at scar who leads him back to the living room. he sits in the floor with him and mumbo, watching as he pulls out his journal.

grian looks up when xisuma and keralis sat onto the sofa behind them, turning on another movie. he smiles before focusing his attention back to scar and mumbo and their conversation. grian stood after a moment, returning with another cupcake. he glances at mumbo, realising he hadn’t really ate anything. he offers a smile. “there’s more cupcakes if you’d like one,” he spoke. mumbo glances over and returns the smile.

“oh—thank you, b-but i don’t uh.. really go for sweets.” he shrugs. grian just nods and looks back down to scar’s journal where he drew. who didn’t like cupcakes, or sweets as a whole for that matter? he ate his cupcake quietly, focusing on not dropping the snack. he listens to the movie xisuma and keralis watched in the background as he watches scar’s precise hands as he guides his pen across the paper. he smiles.

he places the cupcake wrapper into the bin beside the sofa before tucking his hands between his crossed legs. he thought quietly to himself before his thoughts are interrupted. 

“scar,” he glances up when mumbo had spoke, his gaze following the tree elf’s.

“yes?” he spoke with a smile before looking back down.

“we forgot.. to do the thing.” mumbo replies. scar drew for a few more moments before gasping.

“you’re right!” he closes his journal and looks to grian with a smile. “we forgot to do something! it’ll just take a few moments—has to be finished today! project!” he spoke as he shifts to stand.

“oh.. okay,” grian bit his lip. he understood. they.. had their things they do together. he watches as scar and mumbo left the room and exited the door. he looks down, feeling his wings droop. why did that always make him upset?

“grian,” he listens to xisuma’s voice, frowning and shifting quietly to stand. he crawls onto the sofa and lies across the admin’s lap silently. “grian, what’s wrong?” he strokes a soft hand through his hair.

“nothings wrong..” grian mutters, though, he didn’t feel that way. he just… felt like something wasn’t right. why does scar and mumbo always leave together? and without him! why did it have to be so… secret…

“you can talk to me,” xisuma spoke up, his voice breaking grian from his thoughts. he was glad.

“just tired. and my wings need cleaned.” he spoke as he shifts to stretch one out as if an offering. it always helped distract and relax him. xisuma smiles.

“well you know i’m always happy to help,” he chuckles and began. grian stares down at the floor, resting his head against his sweater-covered hands. he hated feeling so upset. maybe he really should talk to xisuma about it. he always helped him to not be upset about little things.

but later, though. keralis was here.

he lets his eyes fall close as xisuma’s fingers move delicately between each of the feathers, removing little unwanted things and fixing them as he went along. preening was always nice. it felt nice and it got his mind off bad things.

he felt his wing twitch when xisuma neared the spot he had hurt the other day, shifting to melt closer into the admin. “sorry,” he apologises quietly as he continues more carefully, though he was always careful. grian just smiles—he loved how gentle xisuma always was. his dreams were always stupid; xisuma would never hurt him. he believed that wholeheartedly.

he kept his wing stretched out for xisuma as he felt his eyes starting to get heavy. he’s felt more tired recently. then again he did go flying today, he’s always tired after flying.

he thought about earlier as they flew, how they’d chased after each other. he smiles at the memory, smiling at how he had chased after mumbo, the other laughing with them. he felt his face get warm as he thought about his smile, at the way his eyes would smile along. he liked the way his hair always seemed perfect even as it blew about violently in the wind. the thought about his laugh, how it was one of the nicest things he think he has ever heard. it felt addicting, like he could never get enough. he wanted to make him laugh and smile. he wanted to be the reason he always had a smile on his face.

he likes mumbo. he likes mumbo a lot…

“is he asleep?” keralis whispers with a smile, glancing down at grian. xisuma looks down and just chuckles.

“yeah,” he hums and continues to clean his wings as he listens to the movie he has already seen. his hands remained gentle in his wings, delicate around the feathers. he adored how grian trusted him with this, something as personal and important as touching his wings, let alone preening. it meant everything.

about half way through the movie the door opens and xisuma heard scar and mumbo’s voices. he didn’t bother glancing up from the colourful feathers in his lap, glancing at grian once the two had entered the room laughing.

“aww—is he asleep?” scar gasps, glancing from grian up to the admin.

“yes,” he replies with a smile. scar just giggles and moves to sit in his original spot on the floor. mumbo follows suit. “did you get plenty to eat?” xisuma spoke up. both scar and mumbo nod. “you feel alright?” he glances at scar. the elf just smiles and nods.

“yeah, i do. i got more food,” he nods.

“good.” xisuma focuses his attention back to grian’s wings. he delicately began to push the stretched one back to its folded position, moving slowly and gently. he grabbed onto the other and softly stretched it out, glancing to grian’s face. the avian shifts lightly though he doesn’t wake, continuing to sleep as he stays in xisuma’s lap, letting out a quiet, sleepy noise. the admin smiles and continues on to the next wing.

xisuma continues to listen to the movie and scar’s and mumbo’s quiet voices as he continues about the feathers. he looks up when hearing a knock on the door, grian jumping as well. “hey, hey—you’re alright,” xisuma soothes a hand through his hair. grian frowns and curls back into the admin, eyebrows furrowed. xisuma frowns. “you’re okay,” he assures, feeling how his heart raced from being snapped out of his dreams. and probably another nightmare, he assumed.

grian felt his heart hammer in his chest, trying his best to control his breathing. they were here for him.. they would take xisuma away to who knows where and—

he glances up as keralis stood, his feathers rising. he felt xisuma attempt to pet them back down, though they just remained fluffed up. he sits up and glances at the door, feeling everything close in. he could save xisuma. he would protect him. he—

“oh, hey doc. ren,” keralis greets with a smile. well… grian supposed that’s better than…

“keralis,” doc smiles. grian just felt his wings twitch, shifting to lie back down comfortably in xisuma’s lap. he buries his face into his leg in silence, eyes closed tight. ugh.

“a little birdie told us it’s the little birdie’s birthday,” he heard the new voice—ren—speak. he felt his wings twitch; he didn’t like that.

“yep,” xisuma confirms with a smile back at the two.

“thought we’d come wish him a happy birthday!” doc spoke up. grian supposed doc was more tolerable once he got to know him. everyone was right about him being nice. he’s still scary though..

“thank you,” he spoke up quietly, offering a smile. he didn’t want to feel rude to them—they were being nice and he did appreciate it. he shifts to rub his face with a yawn. he glances at scar and mumbo and offers a smile. he was glad they were back. he liked them being here.

“now the party can start!” ren spoke up with a wide smile. grian just frowns and closes his eyes tight. he didn’t want to be mean. they.. they could have a party if they wanted.

it was just a stupid nightmare, anyways.

the party consisted of xisuma, keralis, ren, and doc meeting in the dining room and grian, mumbo, and scar remaining in the living room. scar continued to draw, smiling and allowing grian to add some things. he allows mumbo to, as well, though he insisted he wasn’t much of a drawer. or builder. grian knew that; he knew he preferred redstone, or whatever it was called.

grian liked it, though.

he picks at his fingers quietly as he thought to himself. was there something about him he didn’t like? well… yeah.

even though he didn’t know why it bothered him.

“i could teach you some things,” scar was speaking, talking about how mumbo insisted he wasn’t much of a builder.

“well… i don’t mind, really. but.. not really my thing.” he shrugs.

“what is your thing?” grian spoke more to himself, tensing when realising he had said it out loud. 

“well,” mumbo began before grian had time to apologise, not taking the question in a bad way. “i like redstone a lot, it’s really interesting to learn about and i want to get better.” he smiles. “and i like farming and technical stuff rather than.. making things look pretty. i can’t do that well,” he shrugs.

“oh, nonsense!” scar smiles. “grian, you should see his builds. i think they’re cool!” he looks from mumbo to grian.

“nah—i really think i’m just not good at it.”

“come on, don’t think like that!” scar smiles. “i think your builds are good and that’s that.” he huffs playfully, grinning. “i’m sure grian could show you some stuff, too.”

“oh—“ grian looks up once his name is said.

“i’m..” mumbo just rolls his eyes playfully with his own smile. “sure. when and where?” he chuckles. grian just smiles lightly and looks down to scar’s drawing. 

“it’s not like i could really teach you much, anyways.” grian replies out loud to his thoughts. scar gasps and looks over to him.

“grian—i like your builds, and your style!” he smiles happily with a nod. “you can build really well, you know how to make things look good despite you saying you’ve never built before.” he giggles.

“i haven’t. i just.. have seen a lot of builds,” grian shrugs. “i just know what to do, i guess.”

“that’s good, though!” scar smiles and nods. “i still think we should help mumbo out—that way he can be even cooler!” he grins. grian felt his face get warm because, yeah, he thought mumbo was really cool… “that way he can do redstone and build! the whole package!” the elf giggles. mumbo just laughs along.

scar had put on a random show while the day continued on into night, the sun sinking. doc and ren had left, grian saying goodbye and thanking them once again because, yeah, he did appreciate it a lot. he just wonders who told them…

xisuma had made a fire for the three as well as provided plenty of blankets for them. though, he was sure grian would end up in his bed before the morning.

“if there’s anything else i could do for you boys, let me know.” xisuma smiles sweetly.

“thank you, x!” scar smiles happily.

“yes, thank you.” mumbo replies. xisuma just nods with a smile before heading back to the bedroom, keralis following. grian shifts about the blankets, unfolding them and lying them out as he listened to scar and mumbo.

“i bet they’re gonna hold hands,” scar spoke with a grin. mumbo just laughs at him. “and cuddle!” scar continues with a giggle. grian just listened in quietly.

“probably,” mumbo replies, though he wasn’t all too sure. scar just liked romance too much. watched too many romcoms. just because they slept in the same room didn’t mean they had a thing. he was sleeping in the same room as grian and scar and it meant nothing other than them just being good friends. “i think you just watch too many romcoms.” he spoke with a playful eye roll.

“hey—what’s that supposed to mean?” scar huffs.

“it means you have no idea what you’re talking about.” mumbo grins.

“what—yes i do!” scar leans in, watching him. “i’ve seen it! so has grian!” he points to the avian. mumbo looks over and grian pauses.

“so is it true? or is scar just full of it?” he asks with a smile. grian knew it was all in good fun, even though they were right.

“uh… yeah,” grian hands a blanket over to mumbo to pass to scar.

“see told you!” scar spoke quickly with a laugh, accepting the blanket.

“they hold hands?” mumbo lifts an eyebrow. grian just glances away.

“why wouldn’t they?”

“why would they?” mumbo laughs.

“because they’re in love!” scar chimes in. grian just laughs softly, though he felt weird talking about xisuma’s relationship with keralis.

“why does it matter?” grian looks over.

“because you have two dads and should share,” scar grins. mumbo just hums and nods.

“yeah. i agree,” he chuckles. grian just smiles and pulls his own blanket over his lap.

“okay,” he shrugs. scar and mumbo just laugh as they all get comfortable. grian shifts after a moment to turn out the light before settling back beside mumbo. he kept his space, feeling his face get hot when he got too close to him. why did he have to make him feel so weird? 

he listened to scar and mumbo’s quiet voices beneath the sounds of the show. he glances to the tv screen and watches it quietly. a few episodes in and he found that it wasn’t all that bad.

grian continues watching the show, glancing over when both scar and mumbo had fallen asleep. he rubs his eyes and sits up, his gaze landing on mumbo after a moment. he watched him sleep quietly, staring at him. it felt peaceful. his face glows against the light of the fire, making him look even prettier. he felt a blush creep across his face as he thinks, slowly leaning in closer.

he stares at him in silence, hesitating before finally reaching out. his fingers brush just against the wave of mumbo’s hair, a smile finding itself forming on grian’s face. it was soft. his touch was careful as to not wake him, smiling as he pets his hair.

he quickly retrieves his hand when he noticed mumbo’s face twitch in the slightest, quickly standing and nearly falling back. he stretched his wings, though they weren’t the most useful when falling backwards. careful not to wake either of the two, he makes his way down the hall.

he stalks into the bedroom, peeking in through the darkness. xisuma and keralis were also asleep, and grian felt his wings twitch. he makes his way closer, standing beside the bed. 

crawling in between the two and not caring in the moment if he woke them, he smiles as he snuggles up between them. his wings flutter happily as he curls close into xisuma, humming sleepily. he closes his eyes to sleep after a yawn, reaching up to rub his eyes.

“mm.. rest well, grian.” he heard a soft voice speak, though it wasn’t xisuma. he hid his face further into the admin, unable to help the smile from forming as he felt a gentle hand run up through his hair. his wings flutter happily before he shifts so they were resting over keralis rather than pressed uncomfortably between the two. he.. supposed keralis wasn’t too bad. plus, he really liked cuddles. as long as he didn’t touch his wings he didn’t care—he was too tired to.

he smiles as he felt the hand once in his hair wrap around him and hug him closer. he yawns, staying snuggled up between the two, grabbing onto xisuma’s hand to wrap around himself. he nuzzles him softly, yawning and finally resting his head to sleep, falling into a comfortable dream.

Chapter Text

the sun had slowly rose, lighting everything in its path. xisuma was the first to wake as usual, stretching his arms as he yawns. he shifts quietly, letting out a confused hum at the gentle hand on his back. his eyebrows lift, though he smiles when he heard keralis speak. “shashwammy—you’re awake,” he smiles. xisuma hums.

“i am,” he yawns. he shifts to get up once again, though the hand against his back pushes down once more, keeping him in place. he just smiles curiously, wondering what keralis had planned. he moves to cross his arms, head resting down against them.

“good,” keralis smiles and the admin hums as the massage began. his eyes fall closed, relaxing more under his hands. “so tense just after waking up… tell me, shashwamm—i just thought of this after my dream—it was quite strange.” he spoke as he stares down at the admin, smiling as he relaxes underneath his hands. how was he so tense after just waking up? did he wake up and immediately think he was going to work? not while keralis was here!

“yes?” xisuma remained relaxed, feeling as if he could fall back asleep.

“so… the uh.. ‘evil xisuma’…” he began, though he almost felt hesitant. he presses harder against the once again tense muscles of xisuma’s back upon hearing the name, frowning a bit. though, he just offers a smile.

“what about him..?” xisuma spoke up, voice starting off small.

“just a thought i had—what if grian made it onto the server the same way he did?” keralis watches his reaction curiously—his eyes opening, gaze shifting about the pattern on the blankets, eyebrows creasing slightly. he could tell he was in deep thought.

“he.. had some exploits. though.. grian’s just a kid. how could he possibly..” he trails off, almost as if just thinking out loud. keralis hums in thought, continuing to move about his back, hoping the massage would continue to relax him. it did; xisuma shifts slightly before his eyes fall closed, once again relaxing underneath the comforting (and quite nice) hands of keralis.

“not he. but.. maybe with some help..?” keralis thinks quietly. “maybe against his will, even.” he hums quietly. xisuma shrugs lightly, keralis’ hands almost having his shoulders pinned down as the massage continues. it was quite nice, he must admit. probably the only thing keeping him semi relaxed at this moment.

“so you.. think evil x might be behind it?” xisuma spoke up after a silence. keralis tilts his head the other way, hands travelling lower.

“well.. not quite. i just know how he got into the server somehow, and it made me think of how the same thing happened with grian.”

“you think it’s connected?” xisuma frowns. he hoped evil x didn’t have any connections to grian. he.. didn’t know how he would feel about that. he frowns more when he remembers the book, how it mentioned the darker history of avians.

“it could be, but i doubt it. we haven’t seen any of evil x,”

“he also somehow got himself registered as a player,” xisuma reminds. keralis nods and offers a hum in reply.

“that’s also true,” keralis continues the massage, smiling as he got all the places he knew needed the most attention, grinning at certain reactions he pulled from the admin.

“i dunno,” he spoke up again, head turning to face the other direction as he shifts slightly, though he makes no moves to get up. “i just… want grian to be recognised by the server and enlist him as a player,” he sighs. “i’m afraid something is going to happen and…” it upset him, really. he didn’t understand.. how did evil x do it? he just.. broke in and then somehow got himself registered as a player without xisuma even knowing? what could he have possibly exploited, and why couldn’t xisuma figure out what it was?

“don’t worry too much, shashwammy. we’ll figure it out,” keralis spoke up once he noticed how tense xisuma remained. he continues the massage, softly applying more pressure to hopefully help more. xisuma just nods quietly. he really hoped so. then he had a dangerous thought.

“do.. you think evil x could help us.?“

keralis’ hands pause momentally before they continue.

“are.. you sure that’s something you want to consider?” he spoke carefully.

“i mean.. think about it.. evil x found himself on the server somehow. he was undetected at first, too.” xisuma began. “then he just… is a player? his and grian’s cases are quite similar. i just… don’t want to consider the fact that… i don’t know.” he sighs. keralis just moves his hands upwards to softly rub at his shoulders.

“i understand,” he bit his lip before continuing. “do.. you want to confront him about it?”

“frankly i don’t want him knowing about grian in general.” xisuma frowns. if there was anyone he didn’t want to know about grian it would be him. he didn’t even want to think of the terrible things he would consider without even realising how.. bad they were. evil x was interesting for sure. he knew it wasn’t his fault, but… still. not something he ever wanted to consider.

his job was to keep grian safe, and he would do that at any cost.

“i don’t even know where we’d find evil x. haven’t seen him yet this season. kinda.. hoping to not, too.” his eyes fall close once more. he softly exhales, almost able to fall asleep if his thoughts weren’t plaguing his mind. plus, it was time to get up anyways. he had to start breakfast soon.

“i understand why,” keralis smiles gently. “he’s.. i’m not a fan of the evil xisuma,” he continues to massage at the muscles, smiling as he had gotten him to remain mostly relaxed.

“yeah.” xisuma shifts quietly. “plus.. i feel like grian wouldn’t be too fond of him.”

“seeing how he’s attached to you, yeah.” keralis lifts an eyebrow.

“yeah. i feel like he wouldn’t understand.”

“where did he go, anyways? he came in here last night,” keralis notices the avian’s absence. xisuma frowns and shifts, finally able to sit up. he offers keralis a smile before he makes his way to the living room. in there grian rested on the couch, journal open and underneath his head as he rested, pen in hand. the admin smiles; he must have fallen asleep drawing. 

making his way closer, he softly strokes a hand through his hair. he pulls back when he began shifting, not wanting him awake before breakfast. he smiles at keralis before he moves to start making food, wanting it to be ready by time he did wake. he smiles as keralis joins him, helping to prepare breakfast.

he fries the eggs and gets the bacon ready, glancing over when hearing a quiet noise. he smiles upon seeing grian awake, walking closer. “wakey wakey,” he chuckles. grian smiles.

“hi,” he yawns sleepily, rubbing his eyes. his wings twitch at the hand now in them, though he didn’t mind since it was xisuma.

“sleep well?” the admin smiles at him.

“yeah,” grian yawns once more.

“that’s good,” xisuma turns to glance at keralis before looking back to grian. “ready for breakfast?” he smiles at the nod, watching as grian stood and chuckling when he grabbed onto his hand. he followed xisuma to the kitchen, glancing up at keralis quietly, his wings twitching. he made his way closer, softly wrapping his arms around him in a quiet hug. a quiet, surprised gasp left both xisuma and keralis in unison, chuckling and exchanging happy smiles.

“why good morning,” he spoke, handing the plate to xisuma to take to the table while he pulls grian into a gentle hug. the avian goes to quickly squirm away, though he allows himself to melt into the hug after a moment. he supposed keralis did give good hugs… “i missed your face!” keralis smiles happily down at him.

“hi,” he replies quietly, yawning again and hugging onto him quietly. keralis chuckles, smiling because, well—grian was hugging him! this was really big for him—for both of them. he’s good to avoid his wings, knowing how he felt about it. he just rubs his back softly. he would have to give him a massage later, then he would surely like him more.

“you two are sweet,” xisuma smiles at them. keralis just smiles happily up at him as if it’s the greatest thing that could happen to him, hugging grian close. it might just be. 

grian was hugging him!

grian just kept his eyes closed, letting out a quiet yawn. xisuma chuckles before moving over to softly ruffle his hair. “right then, ready for breakfast?” he asks with a smile. grian just nods before letting go of keralis and moving to sit at the table. he heard shuffling behind him and turns to see scar sitting up, yawning. he woke up just in time. grian smiles and waves scar over, the elf returning the smile before waking mumbo as well. he heads over after.

“grian! good morning,” he smiles as he sits beside him. the avian just smiles.

“hi,” he rubs his face sleepily before watching as xisuma sits a plate down in front of the two. they immediately begin to eat. he glances over to mumbo when he’s taking a seat beside him at the corner, exchanging a glance with scar. grian just drops his gaze, expecting them to leave again.

but they don’t. instead, scar speaks up.

“grian—we should build more today. mumbo can add something cool, too!” he spoke with a smile, glancing between the two. mumbo shrugs and smiles.

“yeah—i don’t know too much but we could try.” he agrees. scar claps in excitement.

“yay!” he smiles as he continues to eat. grian smiles and does so as well, looking down quietly as he thought. like why scar and mumbo seemed so weird around each other while grian was here. and why they’re really good at hiding it.

and why mumbo wasn’t eating breakfast, too.

should he say something? he felt like he shouldn’t, he felt weird bringing it up, like it wasn’t any of his business. like it was only scar’s business, even though xisuma also knew. maybe he could ask him again.

maybe he should just realise that it isn’t any of his business and drop the subject.

he couldn’t help being so curious!

after breakfast, scar babbles excitedly as they prepare to head to scar’s base—or anywhere to build, really. grian smiles and half listens to what he’s saying, just nodding with him. once they’re ready, grian gives xisuma a tight hug and waves quietly to keralis before he’s being pulled out the door by scar, mumbo following close behind.

xisuma chuckles before he’s standing and collecting the dishes. he smiles to keralis before moving to the sink to start the dishes. “they’re sweet; i’m glad they’re all getting along.” keralis spoke up, finishing up his food before he’s shifting to stand.

“me too. i knew they would,” xisuma smiles and glances over to him. he accepts the plates before beginning to clean them.

“yeah,” he nods, glancing down at the water quietly. xisuma thinks quietly to himself as he heard keralis shuffling about behind him. he just… wished he had answers. he wouldn’t not be stressed about it—it’s another day that’s going by without him knowing how to get grian to be able to respawn—it definitely made him stressed.

he exhales quietly as he finished up the dishes, drying his hands before moving about his base.

“shashwammy,” he turns when he felt a gentle hand against his shoulder, glancing away as he knew what was coming. “where are you going?” he questions. xisuma just remained silent; what was he meant to say? frankly he just wanted to go for a walk, but he knew he would also be looking for someone he doesn’t even want to see without meaning to.

“for a walk. to clear my head, ya know?“ he spoke as he turns to face him. keralis just bit his lip before exhaling.

“i don’t think i can allow you to.” he shakes his head as he steps in front of him.

“what?” xisuma lifts a brow. he knew exactly what was going to be said next.

“i can’t allow you to do that, shashwammy.” he rubs his shoulder quietly before softly grabbing onto his arm. “i’ll do it, if it makes you feel better.” he frowns. “you’ve become.. almost obsessed.”

“how can i not be?” xisuma sighs softly. “if something happens—“

“he knows to be careful.”

“what if he’s too careful?” xisuma meets his gaze. “i can’t—“

“and you won’t.” keralis grabs onto his hand and leads him to the sofa. “we’ll figure it out—if i have to i’ll see what i can find out. plus, we haven’t even seen him this season. i’m not even convinced he’s here or can come back.”

“he’ll come back if he can..” xisuma mutters as he sits. keralis sits beside him. a ping went off as if on cue, and xisuma glances down to see the message. as if summoned, the greeting message was clear.

>EvilXisuma joined the game.

“i think i’m gonna go.” mumbo spoke up. grian felt a frown crawl onto his face, not understanding anything about the situation. why would that have made him upset?

“mumbo-“ scar spoke, though the latter was walking away before he could get another word in. scar just rubs his forehead with a sigh. grian looks up from where he watched mumbo walk away.

“scar?”

“i don’t want to talk about it.” scar spoke before turning. though, grian wasn’t going to settle with that. he follows scar, softly reaching out to grab onto his arm.

“wanna go to the treehouse?” he asks. scar just stops in his tracks and exhales, closing his eyes. it almost took everything he had not to snap at grian. he would never do that. he could never raise his voice at anyone—he didn’t have it in him. he was meant to love and treat every situation and person with kindness and patience.

“yeah.” he spoke before making his way there. grian frowns and follows. once they’re at the treehouse scar climbs up quietly and slumps up against the wall. grian climbs up and settles in his usual spot before shifting to sit beside scar. he scoots close, softly resting his head onto his shoulder.

“scar?” he asks softly after a moment, not wanting to upset him further but also knowing that holding things in wasn’t healthy. he did it a lot and it never made him any happier—he always felt better after talking to scar or xisuma.

he felt his heart immediately hurt at the telltale sign of him crying, the sniffles not going unnoticed. grian immediately shifts to look up at him, eyes widening. he has never seen scar cry. “scar..”

“don’t..” scar immediately spoke, eyes closing as he turns his head to face away. grian fell silent, though he couldn’t stop himself from still trying to comfort him. he rests his head onto his shoulder and scoots closer to where their thighs touch. he softly reaches out to rub his arm before moving to hold his hand instead.

“i’m sorry,” he spoke, though he knew he didn’t have anything to be sorry for. he just.. felt bad for scar crying. he has always managed to be positive and find the light in every situation. it was so odd to see him so upset to the point where he was crying. he had never seen him so upset and it hurt him.

“you have nothing to be sorry for, grian.” scar reaches up to dry his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh.

“i’m still sorry.” grian nuzzles his shoulder quietly, smiling when he had managed to make scar smile as well. the elf shifts after a moment, pulling grian into a close hug.

“what would i ever do without you?” he spoke before he frowns, burying his face into his shoulder.

“good thing i’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” grian spoke with a soft smile, hugging him back tight. he strokes his hair mindlessly, liking how long it’s gotten since they had first met.

“it was really insensitive.” scar mutters and grian softly tightens his hug.

“he didn’t know..” he spoke quietly. scar sighs and for a second grian felt afraid he had messed up by trying to not be against either of his friends. though, scar just softly hugs him closer.

“i know. it makes it worse..” he sniffles.

“i know..” grian keeps him close, rubbing his back like scar had always done to comfort him. it was odd, it now being the other way around as he held scar. he frowns when scar had reached between them to dry at his eyes.

“i hate arguing.. i’m almost glad he walked away..” he sighs. “tree elves are meant to be peaceful. not…” he trails off. grian just continues to softly rub his back.

“i’m sure he’ll understand..” grian spoke quietly. it was difficult when he hardly knew what had happened. “you’re always peaceful and loving and kind…”

“it’s not an easy thing to go through..” scar let out another shaky sob, hugging grian closer. he hides in his shoulder as he cries, gripping onto his sweater. grian frowns deeply, hugging scar tighter in return. he hated seeing him like this.. he never imagined seeing scar so torn up.. it pained him. “i’m not meant to argue with my best friend.. i’m not meant to be upset about..” he gets cut off by another sob. pushing his face closer into grian. the avian just nods quietly.

“he’s your best friend.. he’ll come around..” he spoke up after deciding what would be the right thing to say next. those words felt okay.

“i know, but that’s not the point.. the point is he’s upset because of me. i did something to upset him when that’s not what i’m about at all,” he lets out a shaky exhale. grian just continues the back rubs, keeping scar close. he was glad he was calming down at least a little..

“you should talk it out later,” he spoke. scar just sniffles, his eyes closing tight.

“i know.” he mutters. he hated the thought of mumbo never wanting to see him again. especially the fact that scar was.. “i have to talk to him.” he sighs. he shifts to pull his knees close and manage to stay hugging onto grian tight. the avian just lets him, not minding if that’s what would help. his back would be hurting later with the positioning—and him being shorter didn’t help—but he didn’t care as long as scar was happy in the end.

“you don’t.. have to tell me, but… why did it make him so upset?.” grian tries his luck. though, scar just shook his head.

“i would tell you but it’s his business..” he mutters. “i don’t want him any more upset with me than he already is…” grian expected that much of an answer. though, he just hugs onto him and keeps him close. he nods in response before speaking.

“he’ll talk it out with you. he’s your best friend. he won’t be mad forever.” he nuzzles into his shoulder once again. scar just sniffles and nods, burying his face silently into his hair.

“i hope so… i really don’t want to lose him..” he sighs. he knew mumbo couldn’t afford to lose him, either. not that that’s something he could talk to grian about.

“i know so,” grian smiles gently, continuing to hug him. “he cares about you a lot. i’m sure he won’t be upset about it forever.”

“i know,” scar sighs, eyes closing. he kept grian close, softly hugging onto him. “do you think i’m a good friend?.” he spoke quietly after a moment.

“yes,” grian spoke immediately, gently tightening his arms around him. “we all make mistakes.. mistakes don’t make us terrible people. it’s just good we learn from them—which i know you both will,” he nuzzles closer into scar. things happen sometimes—that didn’t determine whether or not scar was a bad friend or even a bad person. he was a beautiful soul who has such a lovely heart—he knew he never meant any harm. he knew mumbo knew that, too.

“thank you..” scar responds softly, hugging grian closer. he moves a hand to slightly rest against the softness of his feathers, though he doesn’t try to pet them.

he couldn’t afford another friend being upset with him over something personal.

xisuma frowns, feeling dread grip at his chest. “keralis..”

“relax, shashwammy,” keralis spoke, moving to softly hold onto his hand.

“keralis, what—“

“no, first you’re going to relax.” keralis gave him a look, softly rubbing his hand. “you have authority around here. nothing he can say or do would ever change that.”

“i know.” xisuma exhales.

“are you afraid of him?” keralis asks. he himself definitely wasn’t a fan, but that was for other reasons. xisuma shakes his head.

“i’m afraid for grian,” he admits quietly. “he knows more than i do about—“

“i know,” keralis soothes. “everything is going to be just fine. he’s smarter than to mess with the things you love again.”

“but—“

“no,” keralis gently shakes his head, not breaking eye contact. “no worrying,” he scoots closer to pull him into a soft hug. xisuma sighs, eyes closing. keralis was right. he has nothing to be afraid of. he might have changed, even. he just…

he had to hope.

he just knows how evil x works: he finds something xisuma loves and threatens it if he doesn’t get his way. he’s always been childish; why is he so childish? why is that the thing that he’s found works on him? he knows he cares way too much about his server and it’s players—he really wanted grian in his sights right know. he knew scar definitely wouldn’t be able to protect him against evil x, him being the peacemaker he is and everything. not that he would ever want anyone hurt—not even evil x—gah!

“i have to find him. he’s somewhere on the server—we have to find him.” he spoke, eyes closed. keralis just softly nods, rubbing his back.

“if that’s what you want to do. but please—be in the right mindset.” he gently squeezes him in the hug before pulling away and meeting his gaze. he began to smile, rubbing his shoulder. he smiles sweetly before standing. “come on. let’s go find that little troublemaker.”

Chapter Text

it was odd. grian hadn’t ever really hung out with mumbo without scar—though he would like to, he did have to admit. they were friends, too. scar and mumbo hung out without grian, a lot might he add.

he makes his way to his base, nervousness bubbling up the closer he got. he swallows before letting himself in, glancing around. he began to smile. he liked it. and he says he can’t build! he thought it looked lovely here, inside and out. he may be more confident with redstone, but he still really could build, whether he believed it or not.

“mumbo?” he calls out, biting his lip.

“grian?” mumbo lifts a curious brow, though he offers a sweet smile. “what’s up?”

grian felt his wings twitch nervously, though he just smiles back. “i uh.. just.. kinda wanted to talk to you,” he spoke, playing with his fingers quietly. mumbo offers a sweet smile.

“yeah, sure. i just finished my item sorter.” he agrees.

“item sorter?” grian lifts a curious brow. might.. as well bond with mumbo while he’s here. why not? they were friends—he’s allowed to talk to him! don’t ask so many questions!

“yeah—come check it out. i’m actually quite proud of it.” mumbo smiles and heads back to the room he came from. grian smiles and follows him. he looks at all of the chests that lined the walls, smiling softly. “see—back here,” he spoke as he removed a couple blocks to expose some things. grian guessed that was the redstone. his eyebrows went up, smiling.

“what’s it do?” he asks. item sorter… probably sorts items.. duh!  grian felt his face get warm.

“so—i put any items into this chest here, and they get sorted into the correct chest. that’s what all the hoppers are for,” he smiles at grian. the avian just returns it and nods along, though he didn’t understand it one bit.

“that’s really cool,”

“it is. that way i can just, throw stuff from my inventory into this chest and let the sorter do it’s thing! it’s really handy if i’m in a hurry or something,” he shrugs. “that way i don’t have to open chest after chest to put things away. it’s just easier,” he hums. grian nods.

“that’s really cool.” he said again before he felt his face grow warmer. he already said that! “i uh—it does seem really handy.” he nods before quickly looking away. gah why was he so nervous? and awkward…

“yeah,” mumbo just offers a sweet smile, not judging him one bit. he could understand—he and grian never really.. spoke a lot. he liked him though—he was a good person. grian returns the smile. “so! uh—you wanted to talk to me?“ mumbo lifts a curious eyebrow.

“oh! yeah,” grian nods and looks around, anywhere but mumbo’s gaze. “uh.. it’s… about scar, about yesterday.” he began. mumbo just shifts his weight, biting his lip.

“right.” he glances away as well. he replaces the blocks he removed to show off the redstone, looking back to grian afterwards. “what about it?”

“i just…” grian swallows. “i don’t like you two being in disagreement. i know scar doesn’t either.”

“yeah.” mumbo pauses. “i don’t either,” he sighs. “i just… i dunno. i’m not angry with him, he’s my friend. i’m just kind of upset.” grian nods even though he doesn’t know what had upset him, just that scar had said the wrong thing. “we’ll talk it out. just.. i need time.” he shrugs and crosses his arms. “i don’t like being upset with scar—or anyone, really. and i know he never meant any harm.” he spoke before sighing softly. “i’ll come around later tonight and talk things out.”

“great.” grian smiles, finally glancing up to meet his gaze. mumbo nods, watching grian quietly. he really did wonder, now that that was on his mind, what grian…

maybe he shouldn’t complete that thought. he wouldn’t do that. xisuma probably wouldn’t be too happy about it. well, neither would grian, probably, either.

“yeah.” he nods. “just need a little time, is all. just—.. let scar know he’s my friend. he means a lot to me, but.. i need a little more time to collect my thoughts.” he nods. grian nods too, shifting on his feet and taking a step back.

“will do,” he smiles. “i’ll see you later.” he spoke.

“yeah,” mumbo nods. he watches as grian turns to leave, glancing at his wings. they were really pretty, he did have to admit. he liked them a lot.

the sun was close to setting, though mumbo had only just now gotten to the treehouse. he wasn’t too excited to see scar in that particular moment, and being interrupted from his redstone didn’t help. not that he felt like he was any good at it. his new project was a complicated one; comparators were confusing. he’ll have to get doc to explain them again.

he stands next to the large tree, arms crossing over his chest. he lets out a sigh after a moment. he knew he couldn’t stay upset forever. scar was his best friend! he meant the world to him, and.. talking things out was good. “scar? you up there?” he calls out after a moment.

“yeah!” he heard the reply, though.. he’s never heard scar seem so.. sad before. goodness what has he done? guilt immediately filled him and he closes his eyes. not that he ever regretted coming here, but now he was really glad he did.

“i’m coming up,” he spoke, beginning to ascend the ladder after a moment. he climbs to the top and peeks into the treehouse, climbing in after. “hey,” he spoke, shifting to climb in and sit in the spot he usually sits.

“mind giving us a moment?” scar spoke to grian, who pulls away from their hug. he gives mumbo a smile before he’s leaving the treehouse. he should have known he would be asked to leave—it was personal anyways. though he did hear a few things as he left, their quiet conversation starting almost immediately: “do you feel like i’m using you?” and “i’m glad i’m here to help.” in other words, he was just as confused as ever.

why would mumbo use scar? and what for? they were best friends—maybe that’s why they disagreed on something? he supposed that’s why he got upset.. grian makes his way to the fountain and doesn’t hesitate as he’s climbing into the little pool of water and standing under the stream. oh—it was just as lovely as he had imagined! he smiles as he stretched out his wings, letting the gentle water pour down against them. he shakes them out once before allowing the water to continue to pour onto him.

it either helped to get things out or it made them stick in more, there was never an in between.

he waits patiently for scar and mumbo to finish talking, though it seemed like they were taking awhile.. it was starting to get dark. though, scar’s garden was lit up efficiently to keep things away, so that was good. he didn’t like being alone, especially in the dark.

glancing back to the treehouse, he pulls a quiet wing into his lap. he began to clean what he could as he waits; though, the water didn’t help. he didn’t mind. he was just glad he finally got to be in scar’s fountain. hopefully he wouldn’t mind.

he spreads apart his feathers, biting his lip as he checks out the spot that once had the gash. goodness, how wasn’t he careful enough? maybe he was just stressed. preening is stressful. going without preening was also stressful.

he continues moving about his wings, them twitching as he does so. though, he lets his wing go upon hearing voices and footsteps, turning and smiling when he saw scar and mumbo approaching.

“grian—are you in my fountain?” scar began to laugh, smiling happily. grian just glances away with a grin as he climbs out, huffing.

“maybe.” he spoke. scar just giggles and smiles happily at him, watching as he shook water from his wings. they were so pretty, even when slicked with water. the beautiful colours seemed more vibrant, popping out against his soaked red sweater. grian looked good.

“now you’re all soaked!” he giggles and hums. “me and mumbo are friends again—he can’t get rid of me that easily!” he grins, hugging onto mumbo. the latter just chuckles, though he tenses at the contact. grian took silent note of that—it was interesting.

“not that i’d ever want to.” he glances at scar before looking to grian. “hopefully you don’t get sick being in the night air soaked,” he spoke, watching him. grian just shrugs.

“worth it.” he grins back. mumbo just laughs and hums.

“yeah probably,” grian felt his face get warm at the interaction, though he redirects his attention to the now fading sunset, it being almost gone by that point. he smiles. “the sunsets are always so pretty,” he spoke up.

“they are,” scar responds.

“especially in your garden,” grian adds. scar gasps and looks at grian, bringing his hands to his face.

“aww—you’re gonna make me blush,” he smiles happily. grian and mumbo just laugh at him, smiling.

“it’s getting dark.. xisuma will wonder where i am,” he spoke, grabbing onto scar’s sleeve quietly. the elf just smiles sweetly at him.

“don’t worry! we’ll head back—if we can we can watch the stars tonight!” he claps. grian smiles and nods.

“yeah!” he agrees. “i uh.. just should get into dry clothes,” he plays with his fingers quietly, though he doesn’t miss the fond smile on mumbo’s face.

oh— oh no! he’s— oh no!

“yeah—let’s go.” he can’t wipe the stupid smile off his face as he turns to head home. scar giggles—probably having caught on, he’s good at that stuff—and follows grian. mumbo tags along, probably confused as ever.

they walk along the path wrapping around the forest, grian smiling at the conversation with scar and mumbo. though, he can’t help the dread that starts to consume him. he’s quick to grab onto scar’s hand, the elf catching on and giving him a reassuring squeeze. he continues the conversation like nothing’s happened, knowing that’s what would probably help grian. the contact also helped. nothing could get him if he stays attached to scar.

once they’re back to xisuma’s base, grian smiles as he opens the door. though.. something isn’t right. he immediately began to frown, looking back to scar.

“don’t worry! he’s probably out finishing a project. he’s always busy and losing track of time.” he assures with a smile. mumbo nods in agreement.

“yeah..” grian spoke, though he can’t stop himself from beginning to worry. where could he be? should they go to him or wait for him to come back? would he come back? what if he got hurt or didn’t come back??

“grian?” scar grabs his arm, interrupting his thoughts. “here—you should get out of the wet clothes, you’ll feel better.” he offers a gentle smile. grian just nods. he was right. that’s what xisuma would say, too. xisuma was always right.

he heads back to the bedroom and searches for a dry sweater and trousers, getting dressed out of the wet clothes. he places them into the hamper before making his way back to the living room. he glances at scar and mumbo who sit on the sofa, though he can’t stop himself from pacing. “grian?” scar grabs onto his sleeve.

“what?” grian glances at him, as if having no idea what scar’s referring to.

“don’t stress! he’s been late before—he’ll be here.” scar nods assuringly. grian nods after, though he just continues to pace before forcing himself to sit onto the sofa next to scar. he looks down at his hands, unable to stop himself from nervously picking at them. he felt his eyes start to well up with tears, not liking being away from him this long. he grabs onto scar’s hand quietly, listening to his and mumbo’s chat. he’s been gone all day, and now he’s not here.. he.. what if.. he…

grian immediately jumps up to his feet—and nearly falling—when the door opens. keralis offers a gentle smile as he’s entering, though.. something wasn’t right. why wasn’t xisuma there with him??

“he should be at spawn, right?” xisuma spoke as he walks with keralis.

“yeah, i haven’t seen him yet this season for him to be anywhere else.” he’s nodding in agreement. he has to keep his cool so hopefully that would also keep xisuma relaxed; he was never a fan of evil xisuma. he almost hopes they don’t find him. he offers a gentle smile as they walk. “just remember how you do things—believe the best in people. see the light in every situation,” he smiles.

“i know,” xisuma bites his lip.

“even when it comes to evil x,” keralis reminds. xisuma sometimes had a habit of being a little.. harsh when it came to him. he knew he never meant to, but with him always threatening the server sometimes things slip out and he’s felt terrible and apologised. that’s not how xisuma does things and everyone knew that—especially evil x. that’s why it’s so easy for him to get to the admin: he knows exactly how he works.

once they’re coming up to spawn xisuma felt his heart begin to race upon seeing the silhouette. he couldn’t believe it… it was him! he.. couldn’t help but feel excited to see him—or was that just the nervousness talking?

taking a deep breath and leaning into the gentle touch of keralis that didn’t last nearly as long as he had hoped, he approaches.

“well—if it isn’t evil xisuma,” he greets. the figure turns to face the two, smiling.

“well! xisuma!” evil x greets with open arms.

literally. he was a fan of hugs.

“what a pleasant surprise!”

“of course,” xisuma gives a nod. he didn’t realise how tense he was until the felt the gentle hand on his back, helping him to relax. goodness, what would he do without keralis here? “what brings you here to hermitcraft?”

“oh! you know… i missed seeing all of this loveliness.” ex glances around at the surrounding buildings. they were quite nice. man, he wished he could build nearly as good as the hermits.

though, being lazy was much more fun.

“and you.”

“me?” xisuma lifts an eyebrow.

“yes you.” ex hums as he takes a step closer. xisuma doesn’t let his demeanour falter.

“ah, why me?” he smiles. ex just chuckles.

“because you’re you!” he stops in front of him, meeting his gaze.

“hah, well i guess i am me!” xisuma smiles and nods. he was right about that.

keralis didn’t know how much of this he could take—xisuma having a conversation with xisuma was definitely interesting. 

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages.” ex studies him. xisuma just nods.

“yeah, it’s uh.. since the last time you tried to destroy my server.”

“ohhh, about that!” ex rubs the back of his neck. “that uh—wasn’t me!”

“what?” xisuma can’t stop the laugh. “of course that was you.”

“right—“ ex glances away. he’ll definitely trick him one day. one day, he’ll forget who’s who. they’re practically the same person! well.. he supposed their voices were kinda different. their eyes were, too.

and xisuma was too nice. but he could change that…

“so is that why you’ve come back? to destroy the server—to try to, anyways.” xisuma chuckles.

“ah! no! of course not!” ex just laughs softly. “of course not. i don’t come to destroy anything. i’m simply here… to become the richest hermit.” he grins. and something about that grin sent chills down xisuma’s spine. he felt himself tense up again, though the soft rub of keralis to his back reminded him he was there. he swallows.

“you wanna be rich?” he lifts an eyebrow. “that’s all? no terror? no flames?”

“why no- not at all!” ex waved a dismissive hand. “there’s only one thing people want nowadays—with all their little shops and profits.” he narrows his eyes. “there’s only one thing people truly want.”

“and that is?”

“hah!” ex slaps his shoulder and jumps back. “you won’t take my ideas! oh no!” he grins. “i will be the richest hermit one day. my idea is foolproof, xisuma. just you watch.” he grins. “there’s only one thing i need before i can get started, however…”

“and that is?” xisuma swallows once more.

“tsk tsk tsk,” ex slowly shakes his head. “do you think i’m not smart?”

“what?”

“you heard me.”

everything seemed to change. the air felt heavier, everything becoming more tense. xisuma just blinks.

“i—“

“i hope not. you know i know things, dear xisuma.” ex doesn’t break eye contact, and xisuma knows he can’t, either. he knew he was right. sometimes he could be much derpier than him, but he wasn’t stupid. especially not with how easily he could get into his mind. he was different, but he was definitely incredibly smart, as well.

“well. good luck with your.. goals.” he spoke up. ex lifts an eyebrow. “but i best be on my way.”

“you’re leaving?”

“yes. just had to come find you. make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” xisuma quirks an eyebrow of his own. ex just laughs.

“trouble! me?“

“yes you. you invented trouble.”

“i did!” ex is smiling.

did he even see the issues with this? with anything he does?

“i’m well aware.” xisuma exhales and offers a smile.

“of course!“ ex hums. “however… i’ve missed you far too much. you can’t leave just yet!”

“i must.” xisuma watches him. “i have things to attend to.” he noticed how dark it’s gotten. he didn’t think they had been here this long.. he had to get home, he didn’t want grian to worry.

“but you shouldn’t leave yet.” ex sang, and xisuma frowns. it felt like a threat. he glances back to keralis who offers a gentle smile, continuing to rub his back softly. he turns to leave, and xisuma watches as he walks away. he turns back to ex, swallowing. “now the fun can begin.” ex grins once keralis is out of sight.

grian immediately heads over to keralis, hugging him tight. “where’s xisuma?” he spoke, feathers starting to rise. he should be here. he should be here with keralis—why would he be back but xisuma not?

though, keralis just offers a gentle smile. “he’ll be home in no time,” he hugs grian gently. “are you hungry? he’s requested i start dinner.”

“no,” grian replies, burying himself as close to keralis as he could. he didn’t want food. he wanted xisuma.. he wanted xisuma here with him right now. he felt his breathing beginning to go uneven, his eyes squeezing shut. it felt difficult to breathe—

“grian,” keralis spoke gently, pulling grian back enough to softly hold onto his face. grian sniffles, gazing up at him quietly. he felt his body shaking as he tried not to panic, always feeling this way when away from xisuma too long. he wanted xisuma.. “focus on my voice,” keralis began, softly holding grian’s face. the avian sniffles, gazing up at him and not breaking eye contact. feeling like he couldn’t look away… “look into my eyes. xisuma will be home soon, sweet face. you won’t worry or be afraid, okay?”

“.. okay,” grian replies quietly after a moment, feeling himself start to relax. what.. was happening?

“good,” keralis strokes a delicate thumb against his cheek before pulling him into a close hug. grian just sniffles and hugs onto him tight, body more relaxed and breathing evening out, syncing with keralis’. keralis smiles and glances at scar and mumbo, the two just staring at him. how did he do that?? grian’s always panicky when away from xisuma for long periods of time, his separation anxiety was always bad! and now he’s just—okay? after a few words from keralis?

scar never understood keralis. he was always odd—in a good way, though.

“i’m going to start dinner now,” keralis spoke, softly rubbing his back. grian just nods against him, eyes closed.

“okay,” he yawns, eyebrows furrowing. did xisuma know about this? was keralis magic? he was confused but boy was he ready for a good nap. he felt.. oddly tired. 

“good.” keralis gives him another gentle squeeze before pulling away. grian watches quietly as he heads to the kitchen before glancing back to scar and mumbo. he moves to the sofa and sits, eyebrows furrowed lightly.

“hey!” scar whispers as he slides closer to grian. “that was crazy!” he gasps but smiles. “though i’m glad you’re not too upset! how did he do that?”

“i don’t know,” grian looks at him. he thought about what had just happened, how he just… did as keralis said. oddly, he wasn’t afraid or too worried anymore. he didn’t understand, but… maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

“hah! you’re terrible at chess!” evil ex grins and stands triumphantly.

“that means i won,” xisuma lifts a curious brow.

“preposterous!” ex slams his fist against the table and sits once again. “i demand a rematch!”

“a rematch sounds lovely, though i really need to head out.” xisuma stands.

“no! i won’t lose—“

“you just did. and i have important matters to attend to.” xisuma resets the game pieces. ex just sighs and stands as well.

“fine, if you must. but i demand to see you tomorrow. we also have important matters to attend.” he grins. xisuma just lifts a brow though he nods.

“as you wish.” he agrees. ex just crosses his arms and watches as xisuma prepares to leave. he frowns once he’s gone, fidgeting with a bishop between his fingers and staring at the door as if xisuma would come back and change his mind at any second.

xisuma hurries as he makes his way home, thunder roaring above. great. he just sighs and smiles as his base comes into view. boy was he glad to be back. grian probably was, too. he exhales and opens the door, making his way inside. he heard a little gasp before he’s tackled into a tight hug. he chuckles and wraps his arms around grian, hugging him close. “hello,” he spoke, watching him and stroking a soft hand through his hair.

“where were you?” grian spoke quietly with a frown, hugging him tighter.

“you know, admin duties and meetings.” xisuma responds, continuing to pet his hair, knowing he liked it and it helped him relax. though, he expected him to be crying right now—he always was. he’s so.. undeniably calm.

“with who?” grian felt his wings twitch. he supposed he was okay with doc now—but he was still scary.

“someone you’ve yet to meet,” xisuma replies and smiles gently. he never plans on introducing them, either. “have you had dinner already?”

“yes, but he didn’t eat.” keralis steps up and smiles. xisuma just hugs grian more, expecting that. he never usually eats when he’s worried.

“you can eat now that i’m here, right,” xisuma spoke as he looks from keralis to grian, smiling. the avian just sniffles and nods, though he makes no attempts to let go. he didn’t want to be away from him ever again…

xisuma just chuckles and leans down, arms wrapping around grian’s waist before he stands back up, lifting him. grian smiles widely and giggles, hugging onto xisuma around his neck and clinging closer. he yawns and buries his face into his neck, eyes closing, his wings fluttering before instinctively stretching out lightly, prepared just in case.

he smiles as he’s carried, clinging closer to him. he closes his eyes and rests against his shoulder, though he glances up when xisuma sits. grian moves to sit in the chair beside him like usual, folding his wings back and looking down at the plate of food sat in front of him.

his wings twitch when keralis joins them at the table, avoiding eye contact. he didn’t like what happened earlier and he was almost afraid it would happen again. though.. it kinda did help… he wasn’t sure what to think.

“so.. what did you and keralis get up to while i was out?” xisuma spoke up, glancing between the two.

“oh, uh, you know…” keralis trails off.

“no, i.. don’t think i do.” xisuma offers a smile. grian felt his wings twitch. he’s really telling on him? keralis just gives the admin a look and shrugs. grian looks down. he.. almost felt bad. he just continues to eat quietly. he wished scar didn’t leave.. he always managed to make him smile when he felt stressed. he always helps.

he just continues eating dinner quietly, eyes downcast. he listened as keralis and xisuma spoke, some stuff he didn’t understand and other times he wasn’t paying attention, lost in his own mind.

by time he had finished eating, the sun was already gone. grian sits in the living room, drawing quietly. xisuma joins him on the sofa after cleaning up the kitchen, grian smiling and leaning into him quietly. keralis joins them after, smiling to xisuma. he turns on their show to watch for now, having plans for later when grian was asleep.

it wasn’t long before grian was out in xisuma’s lap, cuddled close as he slept. his wings stretched out lightly against his back, making it easy for xisuma to mindlessly preen at them, knowing grian always felt better in the morning when he did. he listens to the show as he removes the pesky things from between his feathers, also taking time to check on the now healed gash from that branch a bit ago. good to see it was better now and that it healed quite quickly.

once that episode ended he smiles, shifting to lightly wrap his arms around grian, careful not to wake him, before he stands. he hugs the avian close as he carries him to the bedroom and settles him into bed. he strokes a soft hand through his hair before tucking him in, careful of his wings, smiling sweetly down at him. he watched as he continued to sleep, smiling before making his way back to the dining room, closing the door lightly, though leaving it open just a bit so it wasn’t completely dark.

xisuma smiles as keralis had already began preparing the tea, making his way over to sit. keralis places a cup in front of the admin before sitting himself, glancing up at him. he offers a smile. “so.. how did it go with ex?” he began. xisuma just exhales and sips his tea. he really needs that right now.

“i think as good as it can,” he shrugs and looks down. keralis tilts his head lightly, though xisuma spoke again before he could. “not bad. he’s just… you know,”

“i do know,” he nods.

“i don’t know what we’re going to do with him. he just.. says he has a big plan and then it all goes to chaos.”

“i know,” keralis frowns softly, before offering a gentle smile. “you’ll figure it out. you always do when it comes to him.”

“i know. i just… i dunno.”

“it’s just important you don’t stress,”

“i know,”

“you always approach things with an open mind—you’ll get it.” he smiles and reaches out to softly pat his hand. xisuma just exhales and nods, closing his eyes once more.

“i know.. thank you.” he smiles. keralis nods before biting his lip.

“i uh..” he glances away. “so.. you know how grian isn’t always.. the happiest when away from you for long periods of time?” he begins, meeting the admin’s gaze to watch him nod. he looks away again after. “well… i think i may have upset him.” he frowns.