Chapter Text
I pull at a thread on my sweatshirt, leaning back against my headboard. The room feels packed with bodies and laughter. It’s Thursday, the night before the big game so that means we just had to hang out and we just had to hang out at my house. I sit next to Jay and the loud sound of Mario Party is blaring from the TV across my bed.
“You guys really think we’re gonna make playoffs?” Kasen asks, glancing over to Jay with a grin. “Listen, I’m not trying to be optimistic… but we’re up against Harrison High School and they haven’t made it in, like, twelve years.”
I can feel the energy in the air shift and Jay leans back against my bed frame, now uncomfortable. Unusually uncomfortable.
“Yeah, but they’ve got a new pitcher this year.” Jay replies, shrugging. “Coach says he’s the real deal. We can’t go in thinking we’ve got it in the bag.”
“Sounds like something Hannah would say.” Carter says, not looking up from his phone.
I can feel the tension sink in deeper. Hannah. Jay’s girlfriend. I glance to everyone besides Jay and can tell we’re all thinking the same thing. They don’t like her, and neither do I. But Jay… he just smiles.
“She’s right though.” he responds, ignoring the sudden tension in the room. “If we underestimate them, we’re fucked.”
"I guess. But if she tells me to stop 'manifesting failure' one more time, I swear to god..." Kasen responds with a grin.
We all laugh but I find myself forcing it.
"You good, Gray?" Jay asks.
I nod. I don't know, Hannah just gets under my skin in a way I can't describe, not one that the others can relate to. Sure, Hannah is practically a walking stereotype. A pretty cheerleader with straight A's but she's just so demeaning. Jay can do better and it pisses me off he doesn't even try.
"So what's your guys' plan for tomorrow?" Skylar asks, sitting across from me on my bed brushing her long blonde hair out of her face. "You guys gonna kick some ass or what?"
"Obviously they are." Nora replies. "If Grayson doesn't choke, that is."
I roll my eyes at her, giggling a little bit but Kasen is quick to jump to the joke, as usual.
"Beckham? Choke? Never. He's good as long as he doesn't trip over his own two feet, y'know." he says, punching my shoulder.
"Okay, that literally only happened once." I mutter, with everyone bursting into laughter once again.
"Quit messing with my bestie." Cassidy chimes in, sitting next to me on my bed.
Nora moves from my desk and joins us on my bed, all of us sat in a circle.
"Well... how are you guys feeling about tomorrow? Any nerves?" she asks, looking to Carter, Jay, and I.
"Well my dad's gonna be there so it'll be... something." Jay replies.
"At least he can't yell at you from the stands." Skylar responds.
"Oh, you'd be surprised." Jay sighs.
The room goes silent, everyone knowing full well what he means. My heart aches for him. His dad is just so... so strict. Any mention of him just causes Jay to shut down.
Before anyone can respond, Jay looks at his phone and jumps up when he sees the time.
"Oh shit, I told my cousin with his hitting tonight. Little league championship or something." he says, standing up and grabbing all of his things from the bed.
"Championship? Isn't he, like, seven?" Carter asks, chuckling.
"Not according to my aunt. You'd think it was the major leagues with that woman." he replies, rolling his eyes and laughing.
"Alright. See you tomorrow, Jay." I say.
"Bye Grayson." he says, looking to me with a warm smile before looking to the rest of our group. "Bye everyone."
And with that, he walks out of the room. The room immediately feels way emptier without him but I don't say anything about it.
"How bad is his dad at your guys' games?" Cassidy asks.
"Well... Coach was about ready to get him removed last time." Kasen replies.
Nora sighs.
"That's just so screwed up. It's just baseball." she says.
"Not to him." I shrug.
"Well we just have one more year. Then it's graduation and he never has to talk to his dad again." Skylar says.
"One more year for you guys. I only have two more months!" Kasen responds, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, I still have two years. I'm gonna be all alone." Skylar says angrily.
"Not our fault you're practically a child." Nora says, grinning.
"Girl, just cause you skipped a grade doesn't make you older." Skylar replies, rolling her eyes.
"To me it does." Nora responds.
We all laugh a little. Skylar and Nora are always bickering but they still somehow manage to be best friends.
Suddenly, my door opens and our eyes dart to the room. It's my mom.
"Mom! I told you to knock when my friends are over." I shout.
She rolls her eyes and is holding a laundry basket.
"If you're doing something you don't want me seeing, there's a lock for a reason dumbass." she replies, making all of my friends laugh. "I just came to grab your undies."
I glare at her and I can see how much she's enjoying messing with me.
"You're not funny." I respond.
"Your friends seem to disagree." she says, smirking.
"You're hilarious, Mrs. Burnham." Cassidy says, calling out to her.
"Stop encouraging her!" I say, whacking Cassidy on the arm.
"It's the truth." Kasen adds.
Mom chuckles as she takes the clothes from my laundry basket.
"I'll leave you kids to it. Just remember, it's getting late. I know you have the big game tomorrow but you have school too." she says.
"I know, I know." I say.
She shuts the door and my friends and I continue chatting. Eventually, we get back to our game of Mario Party and goof off until, one-by-one, everyone gathers their things and heads home and I'm met with an unsettling silence, one that I'm not really used to.
I'm not sure why I'm so nervous for tomorrow so suddenly but my head is spinning. The big game, making Jay's dad upset... disappointing Jay. Eventually I lean back on my bed and close my eyes and, slowly, I drift to sleep.
I wake up to my alarm blaring. 6AM. Groaning, I shut it off and drag myself out of bed. I put my baseball uniform and make sure I have everything in my bag for the game. Once I'm done, I throw my regular clothes on. There's a heavy weight in my chest and I'm not entirely sure what it's from. I just push it aside and continue getting ready before heading to the kitchen.
Mom's already up, flipping pancakes. My favorite part about game days is Mom always goes all out for breakfast. Milo and Grant, my older brothers, are sprawled out on the couch in the living room watching some stupid morning cartoon and Dad is sitting at the table, scrolling through his phone.
"Morning, honey." Mom says, without looking up. "Pancakes?"
"Are they chocolate chip?" I ask, excitedly.
"Of course." she says. "I know what my boys like."
I set my bag down on one of the kitchen chairs and Dad finally glances up from his phone, looking to me.
"Big game today. You excited?" he asks me.
"Yeah." I say, struggling to sound casual.
"Don't screw it up. We won't claim you as our son if you do." he replies, grinning.
"Yeah, yeah." I roll my eyes.
"We're not kidding." Milo says from the living room.
"Your little brother status will be revoked." Grant adds.
"I'll try." I say, wanting the conversation to end. They're all joking, and on a normal day, I would joke with them but I'm just too nervous and I don't wanna talk about it.
"Remember your first day in little league?" Dad asks.
"Yeah, how could I forget?" I chuckle. "I think I missed every single pitch."
"Don't forget the part where you ran to the wrong base." Grant calls, making Milo almost spit out his granola bar.
"Don't you two have college to be at or something?" I ask, annoyed but still laughing.
"Nope. Unfortunately for you, it's our spring break." Milo says.
"Feels like it's been spring break for weeks." I respond.
"Well you're stuck with us until Sunday so you better enjoy it." Milo says.
I roll my eyes.
Mom gives my Dad and I pancakes and the three of us sit down at the dining table. Eventually, I finish and put my plate in the sink before slinging my backpack over my shoulder once again.
"Alright, I think I'm gonna head out." I say, my nerves catching up to me once again.
"Okay, honey. Don't worry about today, we're proud of you no matter what." Mom says.
"Thanks, Mom." I say, giving her a hug.
"We'll try to be quiet from the stands." Dad says. "But if you hit a home run, you'll be hearing me screaming from the stands."
"No, I don't want to be hearing any screaming from the stands." I say, grinning.
"No promises." Dad laughs. "Bye buddy, love you. Good luck!"
"Good luck Grayson!" Milo and Grant yell.
"Bye, honey. Love you and good luck." Mom says, walking me to the door.
"Love you guys too." I say, walking out the door.
With that, I walk to my car and get ready to drive to school.
I pull into the parking lot and begin heading to the main entrance when I hear loud footsteps coming up to me.
"Hey, Gray!" Jay says, unusually cheerful.
"Oh, hey Jay." I say, smiling. Suddenly, all the nerves have dissipated just seeing him. "You seem... happy."
"Yeah. I just... I'm just pumped for the game." he says.
"You didn't seem like you were last night." I respond.
"Yeah. I guess the excitement just finally sunk in." he says.
I can tell he's hiding something but I don't feel like prying right now. He's excited and that's all that matters.
"I think the others are waiting for us in the library." I say, nodding toward the building.
We walk in silence for a moment, the chilling April air lingering in the air. As we draw closer to the library, we chat about the game and our strategies and even though Jay isn't nervous about the game anymore, I still can't help but feel a weird sense of dread for it. A feeling I don't usually have.
Finally, we make it to the library and walk up to the rest of our friends. As usual, Kasen and Carter are goofing around while Cassidy and Skylar chat, with Nora occasionally taking her nose out of her book and making a quick comment.
"Hey nerds." Jay says, taking a seat next to Kasen.
"Well, well, well if it isn't the dynamic duo." Kasen grins at us.
"Decided to finally show up, huh?" Carter adds.
Jay rolls his eyes. "We're literally on time."
Cassidy glances to the clock on the wall. "Yeah, barely." she says, smirking.
I sit down next to her, ignoring the pit in my stomach. It's just nerves... right?
"Okay, seriously, do you always have to be reading?" Skylar asks, looking to Nora.
"It's a good book." Nora says, rolling her eyes.
"Okay but you can read your book anytime. You can't hang out with us all the time." she replies.
"Thank God." Nora says, chuckling.
"You're such a bitch." Skylar says, with all three of them laughing.
"Are you guys harassing Nora again?" Jay asks.
"No, that's just Skylar." Cassidy responds.
"Per usual." I respond.
"Tell me about it." Nora says, rolling her eyes dramatically.
"So what's the game plan for today?" Kasen asks, half-serious, half-joking. "Do we actually have a chance or are we all just here for moral support at this point?"
"Well, I'm here for the snacks." Carter snorts.
"Great. Glad to know you've got your priorities straight." Jay says, shaking his head.
"Someone's gotta keep things light." Kasen chimes in.
Before we continue talking, I spot three people walking in our direction. It's Hannah, of course, and her stupid entourage. She has that stupid confident stride she usually has, her head held high like she owns the damn place. Behind her is Maya and Kelci.
Cassidy notices them first and looks to Skylar and I, the three of us exchanging a subtle look between each other.
FInally, Hannah reaches our table.
"Hey, baby." Hannah says.
"Hey, babe. Hey, Maya. hey, Kelci." Jay says, smiling.
"Mind if we join in?" Hannah asks, already taking a seat at our table.
I can see Cassidy's annoyance on her face. She doesn't really bother to hide it. I can see Nora has instantly gone back to reading and Carter, Kasen, and Skylar have gone silent, which is completely abnormal for them. I instinctively straighten up in my seat.
"Hey guys." Maya says. It's obvious she's only sitting with us out of obligation.
"Hi." Kelci says, not looking up from her phone as she's forced to sit in between Maya and Nora.
"I'm guessing you four are planning strategies?" Hannah asks, setting her bag on the floor next to her.
"Oh, yeah. Y'know, just... talking about the game." Jay says.
I watch and see Hannah reach out and take Jay's hand on the table and the fingers lock. I force myself to look away but I find it kinda hard to.
"Oh, then don't mind us." Hannah says, smiling at Jay before turning to the rest of us, her smile instantly feeling forced. "You guys just... do your thing."
"We were, actually." Cassidy says, bluntly but with a very fake smile.
Hannah returns the fake smile to her.
"Great." Hannah responds. "Just wanted to check in on Jay before his big game."
I see Skylar shift awkwardly in her seat, not sure if she should speak or not. Kasen and Carter exchange a knowing glance.
"So," Hannah continues, looking back to Jay. "you're feeling ready for today?"
"Yeah, definitely." Jay says, his shoulders tensing.
"Good. I don't want you to mess up and embarrass yourself." she says.
I find myself raising an eyebrow at her statement without trying to and she notices it instantly.
"What?" she asks.
I force myself to make my face return to a neutral expression.
"Nothing." I say quickly.
Jay looks to me for a moment and I return his gaze. I want to just tell Hannah off. None of us want her here. Except for Jay, I guess... and that's enough for her.
"We've got this. Jay does too." I say to her.
"I know." she replies, looking to me.
There's an awkward silence for a moment before Nora finally closes her book and grabs her backpack from the floor.
"Well, um... I think class is about to start so I'm gonna head out." she says, standing up.
Everyone immediately takes the way out and we all leave, leaving just Jay, Hannah, Maya, and Kelci.
As I walk out the library, Cassidy walks next to me.
"Jesus, I can't stand her." Cass says.
"Yeah, tell me about it." I say, rolling my eyes. "I think you were pretty subtle though."
"Really?" Cass asks me.
"No." I say, giggling.
"Good." she says, also giggling.
We walk through the halls and eventually depart, heading to our respective classrooms. One of my favorite parts about gameday is that we get to leave early, especially since the game is in New York City, about an hour and a half bus ride so we get to leave at about 12:00PM.
Regardless, my nerves have returned and I just can't shake off this feeling. Why won't it go away?
Finally, the day drags on and 12PM finally arrives. All of the baseball boys are dismissed from their class and we meet at the main entrance of the school. I'm one of the first to arrive and I'm stopped by the captain of the baseball team, Blake. Probably one of the most annoying guys on the team.
"Hey, Burnham. Don't screw up today." Blake says.
"I don't plan on it." I reply.
Blake scoffs.
"Yeah, well, we've got a lot riding on you today. Coach does especially. Don't choke like you did last season." he says, giving me a condescending smirk.
What a fucking tool.
"Last season was a fluke." I respond, my tone neutral. "It won't happen again."
Blake chuckles and I shift the bag on my shoulder.
"Hey, I'm just messing with you, man." he says, slapping me on the shoulder a little too hard. "But seriously, don't screw up."
Suddenly, Jay walks up to us.
"Everything okay?" Jay asks, glaring at Blake.
"Yeah, yeah everything's fine. Right?" Blake asks, looking to me.
"Yep." I say.
Blake smiles at me and nods.
"Just talking strategy. I'll get out of your hair." Blake says, walking off.
Jay takes his spot and stands across from me.
"What was his deal? Was he giving you a hard time?" Jay asks.
"Same old, same old." I say. "This is the last baseball season where we have to deal with him at least."
"Well if he makes another comment to you, it'll be me he has to deal with." Jay says, looking over to Blake and glaring at him.
I can't help but smile at Jay.
"I can handle it." I say.
"I know, but..." Jay trails.
Suddenly, Coach enters the area.
"Alright, kids. It's time for the big game. Head to the locker room and change into your uniform then we'll board the bus." he commands.
With that, everyone scatters to the locker room, putting our green uniform reading "Cleveland High Titans" on and make our way to the bus. I take a seat next to Jay, with Carter and Kasen sitting across from us.
I sit in silence for a moment, still thinking about Blake's comments. I don't wanna disappoint anyone like I did last year.
Jay nudges me with his elbow. "Hey, don't let Blake get to you." Jay says, as if he was reading my mind. "You're one of the best players on the team."
"Thank you." I reply, looking out the window. "It means a lot."
We sit in silence for a moment as the bus finally starts up.
"Jay... why are you actually suddenly so excited for this game?" I ask, finally deciding to bring it up from earlier.
He looks to me for a moment, realizing I can read his mind just as well as he can read mine. He thinks for a moment before finally responding.
"Well... okay, this is gonna sound terrible." he says, chuckling nervously.
"I'm sure it won't be the worst thing I've heard you say." I say, smiling.
"Yeah, yeah. Alright, my dad was feeling really sick this morning. Like... really sick. Like sick enough to where there's no way he'll be getting out of bed." he says.
"Oh. So he won't be at the game?" I ask.
"I doubt it with how he looked this morning." he says.
"Well... is he gonna be okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine. I'm just... y'know, I'm just happy i don't have to stress about his reaction today." Jay says, smiling.
I smile back. Not gonna lie, this takes a lot of weight off my shoulders too, but I would never tell Jay that.
"I get it." I respond.
Carter leans over from his seat, with a wide grin on his face. "Yo, Gray. Are you ready to smash those bitches at Harrison?"
We joke around on the bus, finally heading toward the city. There's so much laughter and togetherness on the bus, I forget about Blake and the nerves from today for just a moment.
After a while, we finally pull up to New York City. We drive through the bustling streets, to a more suburban area of New York City. driving past rows of nice houses until we finally arrive a huge high school with a massive baseball field next to it.
The bus comes to a stop and Coach Garcia leads us all to the dugout. We all file in and adjust our hats and uniforms. The field is big and... very intimidating. I look over and can see the Harrison High Hawks, looking back at us. We can do this.
I take a sip of my water and set it on the bench before noticing Jay, standing a few feet away, staring at the stands. He looks like he's seen a ghost.
"Jay... are you okay?" I ask, walking up to him.
Jay hesitates for a second, taking a deep breath before speaking.
"Yeah... yeah. Um, it's just... my dad decided to show up anyway." he says, his voice shaky.
I follow his gaze up to the stands and I spot Mr. Brennan instantly. He's sticking out like a sore thumb. At first glance, he looks like any other parent in the crowd but as I look closer, I can see something's very wrong. His olive skin is now a sickly pale, like he just crawled out of bed. His dark brown hair, which is normally neatly combed back, is a mess, sticking up in random spots. His eyes... they're disturbingly bloodshot. They look almost vacant.
"Um... is he alright?" I ask, not able to peel my eyes off of him.
"I don't know. I thought for sure he wasn't coming today." Jay replies.
I look next to Mr. Brennan and see his wife, sitting beside him with a distressed look on her face. I can see her talking to him but he doesn't seem to have any reaction.
"Bro, he looks so out of it, it'll be like he's not even here." I say, trying to keep my voice light. I place a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.
Jay forces a shaky laugh but I can tell he's still stressed. "Yeah. I guess."
"Just don't think too much about it, okay?" I say. He nods but I can tell it's half-hearted.
Finally, Coach enters the dugout, clapping his hands to get our attention.
"Alright, team. Focus up." he says, his voice sharp. "Harrington, you're up first."
Blake smiles, grabbing his bat and walking to the batter's box. I watch him settle into his stance. The pitcher winds up and throws the pitch and it's fast. Better than any pitch I've ever seen and it's only the first one. Blake swings, but misses. He takes a step back, readjusting his stance. The second pitch comes in fast, and Blake manages to hit it with his ball, the ball flying just short of the outfield fence. It's a double. I watch him sprint to first base, then to second. The team and the audience let out of a cheer and I can't help but feel a flicker of relief. It's going alright so far.
Coach calls the next batter, a sophomore named Ramirez, who hits a grounder to the shortstop. Blake makes it to third base, and I hear Coach call my name.
"Burnham, you're up!" Coach shouts, and I feel my heart suddenly start pounding. I can't screw this up.
As I walk to the batter's box and I look through the stands. I don't see my parents and my brothers yet. They must've just gotten caught up in something.
I get to my spot and adjust the metal bat in my hand. I just have to hit the ball... and not get a foul, of course. I make eye contact with the pitcher and he gives me a ruthless grin, as if he can sense my fear, only making me more nervous. I can't blow it, I can't blow it, I can't blow it.
The first pitch flies past me without even realizing it. Shit, I didn't even swing my bat. I can hear sounds coming from the audience but I ignore them. I've got this.
This time, I watch the pitcher wind up the ball and I swing my bat... only for it to go past me again. Goddammit. I adjust my position and for a quick second, I look to Jay in the dugout.
We make eye contact for a split second and he nods to me. That gives me everything I need. I look back to the pitcher, who's already winding up the next pitch. I get ready to swing my bat and...
Crack!
I don't even look to where it goes, all I can hear is the announcer as I'm sprinting to first base.
"HOME RUN!" the announcer calls.
The crowd is roaring and I'm sprinting as fast as my legs can carry me.
I did it.
As I reach third base, I see Blake and the other guy on my team have stopped dead in their tracks. Confused I look to them, only to see them staring at the stands. That's when instead of the audience roaring in joy, I hear absolute terror coming from the stands, specifically one scream. The most blood-curling scream I've ever heard and my eyes follow their gaze, my blood running cold.
Jay's dad is hunched over his face, his mouth latched onto her face, ripping pieces of her skin off like a wild animal. Blood is flying everywhere and the audience members have already started running or are staring in shock. The panic is spreading like wildfire and the whole baseball field erupts into chaos.
My head snaps over to the dugout and see most of the baseball boys are already sprinting out.
"To the bus, to the bus!" I hear Coach screaming from the opposite side.
I see Jay staring at the stands, his eyes wide. My legs are running over to him before I know it.
"JAY!" I shout.
I finally reach the dugout and I put my hand on his shoulder and he finally looks away from the stands and into my eyes.
"Jay, we have to go! Now!" I shout again, but he doesn't move. He's still staring at me and it looks like he's in shock.
Finally, I grab his arm and tug at it hard, breaking him out of his trance.
"Jay, we have to get out of here!" I yell.
I hear Carter and Kasen run up behind me.
"We need to go the buses!" Kasen says.
I look to Jay for a split second. This can't be real. This can't be happening.
But it is.
And everything is about to change.