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Chapter Text

Sirius Black thought he knew what love was. He knew it was finding comfort in another person’s company. He knew it entailed patience and empathy. He knew it had to do with warmth and closeness and he knew this all because of James Potter and Lily Evans. Sirius had never witnessed a love quite like James and Lily’s.  

James was the outlandish one and Lily the sensible one. They each brought something new to the table. They were both so different yet they made sense. They got together after James had matured and Lily had softened. Their love blossomed most peculiarly and Sirius adored it. He actually idolised it.  

Sirius was always searching for his ‘Lily’. He wanted someone to ground him. But with every new budding relationship, he was faced with the harsh reality that no one could compete with the phenomenon that was the romance of James and Lily.

Maybe that’s why he took it so hard when they broke the news that one Friday evening. James’ parents, Fleamont and Euphemia, were set to watch their grandchild, Harry. Sirius was thrilled that the couple insisted on dinner at this newly opened wine bar. He googled the menu before arrival. His meal of choice was seared scallops with brown butter and a lemony pan sauce. He was ecstatic that evening. 

But the look on his friends’ faces worried him up a storm once they sat across from him. His smile faltered, “What’s going on? You two look awful.”

“Sirius…” James’ tone of voice seemed so unfamiliar. It was shaky and choked up.  

“I don’t like the way you just said my name. What is it? Did I do something?”

Lily shook her head instantaneously, “Of course not!”

“Then why do you look like that?”

“Sirius, you know we love you dearly, right?”

“What the—You sound like parents about to announce to their child they’re getting a divorce.” He let out a forced chuckle. And that’s when he knew. Sirius Black could read James Potter like a book. He saw the look on his face and knew. That’s when his entire world came crashing down. All that he ever knew was wrong.  

That was eighteen months before this particular moment. Sirius stood outside James’ house with a perfectly wrapped gift. He watched the wind blow the dinosaur garland hanging from the freshly polished awning. The front door was unlocked so Sirius let himself in. The house smelled of eucalyptus air fresheners and a clump of several edible scents.  

Sirius was rarely late to events that a Potter hosted. He usually helped with setting up and decorations but James had let him know the night before that, that was unnecessary. He said that his parents, Lily, and Mary would take care of that. Of course, Mary would help. Mary Macdonald was Lily’s girlfriend. She met her a month after the divorce announcement and they have been happy together ever since. Mary was lovely. Sirius liked Mary. But recently it felt like they were trying to push Mary into the picture and Sirius out. He didn’t feel like he was needed anymore.  

When Sirius told Marlene about this, she told him, “Sirius, we’re all grown up now. They have their lives and you have yours. They’re co-parenting, they need to do these things. They need to form a healthy relationship together and sometimes that’s easier when it’s just the people involved in the mix. They love you. James and Lily will always love you. You just need to give them space to grow together on this new journey they’re taking. Love, you can’t hold James’ hand through everything. He needs to learn to do things on his own.” He knew she was right. Marlene McKinnon was always right. He liked that about her. Because lately Sirius had everything wrong and she guided him on the right path.  

There was a loud noise heard coming from the kitchen. Sirius rushed over to find the source of the noise and there was James Potter. He looked to be in search of a pan. 

“Oi! Keep it down, would ya?” Sirius teased.  

James’ frowning face softened. He looked worn out and the party had only started half an hour before. “Pads, hey. Sorry. Harry wants a toastie. You give him all sorts of options in the world and he wants a damn toastie. Shit, let me get that.”  

He retrieved the gift from his hands and swiftly threw it onto a table near the backdoor stacked with presents. Sirius noticed the sweat stains on the ivory t-shirt James wore. It had ‘Harry’s Dad’ written across the back with a tall dinosaur drawing holding a little dinosaur’s hand. 

“James, you know how Lily feels about you buying into his act.”

“I just want to make him happy.” 

“You can make him happy without catering to it.”

“Yes but—” 

“Prongs, what’s up? What’s wrong?”

Jame let out a grumble and took a seat on a stool at the kitchen island. He slid his dark frames off his face and set them to the side. He took the opportunity to bury his face in the palms of his hands. Sirius found himself behind the other man, his hands rubbed up and down his back. James eased into the touch.  

James and Sirius had history. The truth lay within the deep chambers of Sirius’ mind. Before Lily, James used to swear up and down that Sirius was the love of his life. He promised a future for them, but of course, they were only the hushed whispers of a fifteen-year-old. Neither of them knew what they were promising. They were young and naïve and thought that the only way to keep a hold of someone was by loving them so intimately. Sirius held that love for James for a very long time after. But James and Sirius romantically weren't healthy. They couldn’t function on their own. They were too codependent. They couldn’t grow. James seemed to attach his roots to people a lot. He forgot to be his own person. 

Sirius knew that this may have been the case at that very moment. James valued Lily Evans so much. Her opinion outdid everyone else. This was the first party for Harry he was able to plan entirely on his own and be the one to instruct Lily on what to do. He couldn’t mess this up, is what he told Sirius months prior. James always held himself to impossible standards. James couldn’t seem to grasp that he can’t be everything for everyone all at once. 

“He’s so fit.” That caught Sirius a bit off guard. He could’ve sworn the conversation had just been on toasties. 

“What was that, mate?” 

“He’s so goddamn fit!” James grumbled. 

“Who’re we talking about?” Sirius let go of James for a moment to take up the stool next to him. 

“Remus.”

“Umm, who?”

“Remus!”

“Is this a game of guess who? Prongs, I have no idea who the hell that is.”

James groaned and forced himself to look up and turn toward Sirius, “Remember the dad of the classmate Harry gets along with? The one I dated a couple months back.” 

“The hot dad! Yes. Yes. How could I forget the infamous man who you tried so hard to get into’s pants?” 

“Yep. The same guy who dumped my sorry ass. Well, he’s here and looking as hot as ever.” 

“Don’t you see him all the time? The amount of times I have had to watch Harry so you parents can go have a pint is mad.”

“Yes. But it’s different. He’s different with his kid. The being an amazing dad part makes it all worse.  And the fact that he wants to set me up with his mate.  Like who’s going to tell him that I’m still insanely into him?”

“Maybe his friend is just as fit. But I do agree. Good dad is a hot quality.” Sirius shrugged. He reached over to grab a crisp from a bowl in the middle of the counter. James nudged him and he brought it closer for the both of them to share. 

“Am I a good dad?” There was something in James’ eyes, Sirius knew he wasn’t joking. 

“The best.” Sirius leaned over to plant a kiss on James’ dark curls. “Now come on. You need to tell Harry he’s not getting his toastie and he’ll have to deal with the fucking feast that’s already laid out.”

Sirius didn’t know what he was expecting from this ‘fit dad’ James went on and on about. James had a track record for being into rather attractive people. He rests his case with himself as an example. But he still couldn’t help but picture a middle-aged, mediocre-looking man. He could imagine the horrid receding hairline and all. But oh, was he so wrong. 

“Padfoot, this is Remus, Remus this is my best mate, Sirius.” 

“This is the infamous best mate, now is it? Well, hello, Sirius, James never shuts up about you.” The most gorgeous man offered up his hand to Sirius. He had dark skin, his face accented with a few jagged scars, which somehow added to the alluring appeal. His fucking curls. Sirius never needed someone more in his life. He wanted to devour him whole. He wanted to kiss every inch of him, starting with his beautiful face.

“How do you do?” Sirius choked out as he grasped the man’s hand. Were calluses ever this sexy? 

“Lovely, you—Shit, Teddy! Woah there kid! Here, let me help you.” He backtracked a few steps to the kids’ table. A group of loud children sat there, all fingerpainting. Remus grabbed a wipe from the middle of the table and helped a child clean off his hands. The kid had the tightest light brown ringlets that bounced as he tried to wiggle away from the wet wipe. “Teddy, behave.” 

“Teddy, behave.” A small voice mimicked from across the table. It was Harry of course. His small glasses slid down the bridge of his nose. He was intensely focused on the red blob he created in front of him. 

“Haz, don’t cause trouble over there.” Sirius smiled and found himself at the little one’s side. Harry’s eyes brightened as he looked up. 

“Padfoot!” He went to lunge forward but Sirius stopped him. 

“You are absolutely not hugging me with that mess all over you.”

“But Pads!”

“No. Stay put and finish your creation.” Sirius feigned a stern look. “I’m gonna go find your mum, but I’ll check up on you in a little bit. Sounds good?” 

Harry nodded and drew his attention back to the red paint. Lily Evans wore a similar shirt to James but it read ‘Harry’s mum’ instead. She sat at a table far across the yard with Mary at her side and she chatted with Hestia Jones and her wife, Alecto Carrow. Lily had the biggest grin on her face. She hadn’t even noticed when Sirius came up behind her until he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.  

“If it isn’t Evans in the flesh.” She lets out a shriek and turned to swat him in the gut. She drew herself to her feet and engulfed him in a hug. 

“Hello, Sirius.” Hestia politely nodded to him over Lily’s shoulder. Sirius didn’t know the woman very well. He remembered her from school, years ago. Lily always liked her. Sirius never had the urge to get to know any of Lily’s friends. He wasn’t too sure why, but he preferred to keep Lily to himself. He’d much rather have her intertwined with his friend group. 

“I haven’t seen you in over a week! Were you ill? Your arms don’t look broken which is surprising because I know you wouldn’t just leave me hanging. With no response to my last text.” Lily stared at him with a knowing look and a scrunched nose. 

“You see, Lils, I had this thing and like that thing distracted me which led to another thing and I have just been overwhelmed with things!” 

“Oh, I’m sure you have. For fucks sake, you know better than to do that. I was worried sick. I had to send James dozens of worried voicemails.”  

“Who even leaves voicemails anymore?” 

“That’s beside the point!” She was right. Sirius knew he was at fault. You see, Sirius had a very good reason for his absence. He just didn’t want to get out of bed. He didn’t want to fucking move. He would rather eat all his meals under the covers and talk to absolutely no one. James came over, though. James made him not want to be tucked away. Everyone else irritated him.  

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just had work shit to deal with.”

“Yeah, I get it. I just wish you wouldn’t worry me like that! Whatever. It’s alright. How about you go get something to eat inside? All the food is laid out in the dining room. Have at it!” 

Sirius wouldn’t say dads did it for him exactly. Not at all. But there was something about a man who loved so tenderly and preciously as a dad did. He’s guilty of looking at James longingly, while he played with Harry. And of course, there was the occasional good father spotted in public that made him feel a few things. But at that moment, when he walked into the dining room only to see Remus Lupin looking down at his son and pointing to the various food options, he could say dads did it for him. 

“I can cut that in half and we can share, if you’d like.” Remus offered.  

Teddy nodded his head. He watched the two communicate for a minute or so before he headed to make his plate.  

“Hi!” Sirius sent a little wave to Teddy after he eyed the man. He watched the little one shuffle to conceal himself behind Remus. 

“Teddy, don’t be shy. He’s just being polite.” Remus said as he reached over to pluck some sausage rolls on his dish.

“Are you enjoying the party? I know I am with all the dinosaur decorations.” And that’s when Teddy lit up. A wide grin grew across his face and Sirius knew he chose the right topic to proceed with. 

“I love dino-saur-s!” It took him a minute to get the lengthy word out. 

“Is that so? Do you have a favourite?” Sirius raised an eyebrow and scooped a spoonful of rice.

“My favourite is the Sauroposeidon. They’re one of the tallest kinds! That’s why I like them. It’s because they’re tall just like my da. And Da is my favourite so the Sauroposeidon is my favourite!”

That was a lot for a kid who wouldn’t talk a minute ago. “Wow. That’s a long word. I couldn’t even imagine trying to pronounce that.” 

Remus let out a breathy laugh, “It took him a while to be able to say that. A whole lot of youtube videos later, and look at him!” 

“Oh I bet. Well, Teddy, is it? My favourite is the T-Rex.”

“Boring.” Teddy scrunched his nose and focused his attention on his father.

“Be polite, child.”

Sirius watched him roll his eyes and he whispered as if Remus wasn’t able to hear him, “He’s only saying that because you’re here. He always calls me that when adults are around.” 

“You’re very aware, for as young as you are.”

“My teachers tell me I’m very promising.” Teddy nodded his head in agreement with his statement. “I’m the most gifted compared to everyone else, is what they say.”

“Teddy! You can’t say that!” Remus groaned. 

“What? They really told me that!”

“Oh I believe you.” Sirius smiled. That was when a loud clattering of boots came through the front door. With the groaning and hurried steps, he knew exactly who it was. “Wormtail, is that you? In the dining room!”

Peter Pettigrew came in with an armful of presents. He was known to spoil Harry, even more so than Sirius sometimes. Sirius called out directions on where to put the gifts and waited a moment before Peter clambered into the dining room.

“Jesus! Pete, how much did you spend on the kid?”

“Less than I would’ve liked.” He frowned and eyed the father-son duo. “Hi I’m Peter, nice to meet you!”

“Remus Lupin. Pleasure is all mine.” Remus moved away from the food, hands full. 

“I like your shirt,” Teddy commented on the apricot-hued material with an assortment of dinosaur skeletons printed on the front.

“Thank you. It’s one of Harry’s favourites of mine.”

“He has good taste,” The kid swung his head around to peer up at Remus. “Can we go now Da? I want to eat with everyone.”

“Of course,” Remus glanced over at Peter. “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other, later.”

Peter and Sirius stood in silence until they heard the backdoor shut. Peter’s eyes bulged and his jaw hung open, “He’s fucking fit!”

“I know!”

“That’s the dad James dated?”

“It seems so.”

“No wonder that idiot was in a tizzy over that whole situation. I would be too if someone who looked like that, dumped me.” Peter huffed and scratched the back of his neck. 

Sirius had a double-take. On the column of Peter’s neck was a dark love bite. It was clear as day. There was no denying it. But how? Peter updated Sirius on everything having to do with his love life.

“Who gave you that?”

“What?” Peter shot a confused look.

“That thing on your neck, Pete.” 

It took a moment for it to register before he slapped his hand over the section. “I—uhh—b-burnt myself on my curling iron.”

“You don’t own a curling iron.”

“On Marlene’s?”

“She moved out of the flat weeks ago.”

“Yours?” He bit the inside of his cheek.

“Now, at what point of time would you have ever been near my curling wand?” Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and gave a deadpanned look.

“You see, I actually bought one myself.”

“And we’re back to it being yours. Great!”

“Oh my goodness, your plate looks lovely! How about I grab myself something and we go outside where everyone else is and never talk about this again?” 

“You’re deflecting again. What would Marlene say?”

“What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.”

The rest of the party ran smoothly. Sirius didn’t crumble when Remus’ hand brushed against his as they each helped hand out slices of cake and utensils. Those hands would for sure be the death of him. A few of the parents stayed late. Sirius couldn’t seem to recall their names. And the children all tired themselves out. He found them passed out on the sofa upstairs when he went to say goodbye to Harry. Sirius let them be and simply planted a kiss on Harry’s head.  

He heard steps drawing near and he waited until they stopped in the doorway. Remus was there. He shook his head at the sight of Teddy asleep, his head resting on Harry’s shoulder.

“Of course he falls asleep when I need to carry all this shit out.” Remus gestured to the pile of objects stacked near the front door. He had supplied various decorations and warming trays for the party. 

“How about you carry him, and I’ll carry all that shit out.”

“You don’t have to—”

Sirius put his hand out as a sign of protest, “Just let me. We’re both leaving, I’m not going out of my way or anything.” 

So the two of them walk out together. Sirius nearly melts at the sight of a sleeping Teddy in Remus’ arms. Involved fathers were hot, he wouldn’t deny it. He piled everything into the boot of the car.  

“Thank you for that.” Remus sighed as he shut the car door after strapping Teddy in.  

“It’s cool.” Sirius shrugged his shoulders. He felt a loose strand of his tucked-back hair stick to the back of his neck and the feeling made him squirm. 

“Well, either way, thank you. It was nice meeting you Sirius.” Remus extended his lovely hand once again.  

“Same here.”

When Sirius crossed the street and unlocked his car door, Remus called out, “You’re nothing like I imagined.”

Sirius glanced back, “What do you mean?”

“I was expecting a motorcycle.”

“Those aren’t the easiest with car seats, Remus.” He barked and forced himself inside.  

Sirius Black knew two things. He knew why James Potter couldn’t get Harry’s classmate’s dad out of his mind. And he also knew that there was no way he could either.  

Chapter Text

“Click the button.”

“No.”

“It’s not even that hard, just click the button.”

“No.”

“You’ve put in less effort at football practice, just click the damn button.”

“We should’ve won our last game.”

“What are you even—Oh yeah, football. I agree with that but it is the first year you keep score so I mean—Wait! Don’t get me sidetracked. Harry, just call him.”

“N-O.”

“And he knows how to spell!”

“Stop it.”

“Haz, call him. It’ll be quick and simple.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You called Uncle Pete just fine.”

“Pads lied.”

“How did Pads lie?”

“He promised he would see me later and he didn’t.”

“It was a busy day. You can’t blame him for getting caught up in everything. You know he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. He loves you. I mean did you see that present? He clearly loves you if he got you that!”

“I guess so…”

“So let’s call him, thank him, and get going. Sound good?”

“Fine.”

The negotiating between father and son had gone on for nearly half an hour. James and Harry had spent their afternoon writing out ‘Thank you' notes. And he made Harry call a few special people, like his grandparents and extended family. The last call was supposed to be the easiest. Harry always loves to call Sirius, and they could even talk for hours. Sirius is the only one who can keep the kid entertained for that long. 

After the phone call went through, Harry forgot about the grudge and all was well. Well, that was until Harry decided to be a judgemental brat.

“That colour is yuck!”

James bit back a groan, “Thanks for the input.”

James Potter was a people pleaser. He loves to see people nodding with confirmation. He loves the rush in his chest before he gets a positive reaction from people. As a child, his father always teased him over his constant need to look at his mother for approval. 

So it was no surprise that he reluctantly accepted Remus’ blind date offer just to see that gorgeous grin on the man’s face. He had agreed weeks ago, and he didn’t even realise that the date was set up for the day after Harry’s party. But here he was. 

“When am I going to mum’s house?” Harry sighed. He was dying to see Lily. He hadn’t seen much of her that week, with long hours at the hospital. It was fortunate that she was able to make it to the party. But James knew it was all worth it. Lily was rounding up her final weeks before officially moving to a local practice. Everything was ready, and every parent wanted London’s in-hot-demand Nurse Practitioner. 

James remembered when he was ever so lucky enough to score Lily Evans. He felt like he was forever indebted to her. In reality, James thought he was never enough to be with her. But that was something he was working out in therapy.

“In a moment. I just need to change my outfit you’re so disgusted by, and then we can leave.”

“Wear red. Everyone likes you in red.”

He felt a tug at his heartstrings but ignored it to go and change. He stumbled into the bathroom after, toying mousse into his hair and hoping for the best. He already forced in a pair of contacts before getting ready. James hurried into Harry’s room and retrieved his bag stuffed with various essentials that he and Lily passed back and forth with each trip. 

When he went to get Harry from the sitting room, the kid looked him up and down, threw two thumbs up and said, “Looking good, pops.” James squinted his eyes in confusion to which Harry replied, “Heard it in one of Uncle Pete’s shows.”

James huffed, “Of course you did.” Eventually, they were in the car, packed tight with new toys Harry just had to bring with him. Lily didn’t live far away at all. About a quarter drive. Harry swung his feet along to the radio in his car seat, and James watched via the front mirror.

“Did you pick where you want to go eat tonight? You know Mum said it was your turn to pick since it’s your birthday.”

“It’s not my birthday until next week.”

“Yes, but she won’t get to see you because of work.”

“I can’t wait til that’s over.”

“Harry…”

“What? I’m happy no more hospital.”

“Yes, yes, I know. Me too.” James agreed and pulled in front of Lily’s house. Lily had been waiting outside for them. She smiled at the car as James parked. 

James rushed to get out of the car. He was at Harry’s door and was quickly going about things.

“Woah there. Breathe.” Lily walked up beside him and gently touched his back. 

“I think he’s nervous.” Harry commented from his car seat.

“Great observation.” Lily laughed and looked at James. “It’ll be alright. The date is going to go just fine. If you hate the guy, just send me a text, I’ll make up an excuse and you can join the three of us on our Barbie movie marathon.” 

“I love Princess and the Pauper.” James whimpered and Lily laughed again before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Now come on. Let the kid out.”

James helped Harry out of the car. He reached over the backseat to grab the bag and handed it to Lily, who immediately strapped it over her arm. 

“I’m gonna be fine, right?” James asked after Harry had said goodbye and ran inside. 

“What did I tell you when you went on that date with Remus?”

“He’s hot?”

“The other thing.”

“That I’m perfect the way I am and if the other person doesn’t see it, that’s their loss and not mine.”

Lily nodded softly and looked up at him, “James, you are so loved. I know it’s hard for you to see the good in yourself, but you are the best person I know. You’re my best friend. You have the most beautiful heart and you deserve love. I know you really liked Remus and I know this blind date is breaking your heart at the moment, but it’s broadening your horizons. Now, go! Have fun. I love you and if you need anything, I’m here.”

After that, James started his hesitant car ride to the restaurant. Remus had set up the whole thing. Dinner reservations included. He assured James all he had to do was show up. James wasn’t exactly sure why Remus pushed this thing so hard, but he just went along with it. As the GPS directed him on his route, he clicked the button on his steering wheel.

“Call Peter.”

After a few rings, the call was picked up by a breathless Peter Pettigrew, “What’s up?”

James quirked an eyebrow, his head tilted a bit, “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

A muffled ‘yes’ was heard in the background, but Peter loudly proclaimed, “No! Not at all!”

“Okay…”

“Seriously, Prongs. It’s all good. What is it?”

“Tell me I shouldn’t just skip out on this date and go home and eat a tub of ice cream while watching cheesy rom-coms.”

“Skip out on—Oh my god! I forgot the date was today. I didn’t even realise.”

“Yep. So tell me I shouldn’t. Stop me from turning this car around.”

“Don’t turn that car around.”

“But I really want to.”

“What would Lily Evans say?” Peter paused, “Well, what did she say?”

“That this is good for me and I need to give it a try and all that.”

“And she probably assured you that you’re loved and you deserve love and all that shit.”

“Familiar with the conversation?”

“She called me for two weeks straight after my breakup with Benjy to tell me that I deserve the world and I’ll find the right fit for me one day. But it just wasn’t the right time.”

“But you weren’t even invested in the guy.”

“But you know Lily and her support!”

“True,” James switched on his turn signal. “Pete?”

“James?” You could hear his smile.

“I’m scared.”

“James, it’s a blind date. You never have to see this guy again.”

“Yes I will! From what I’ve heard this is Remus’ best friend. He’ll be around for a while.”

“Then Lily can just go and you stay home whenever Remus invites you to things!”

“You’re not funny.” James spotted his destination. There was an open spot near the front of the place and he pulled in and parked the car. He let his head fall to the headrest.

“James Potter, stop being a fucking baby. Go in there, have a good time. Don’t drink though, you’re driving home. Actually, drink! And call me and I’ll come get you. Probably will get Marlene to come and drive your car back,” He sighed. “You need to loosen up. You need to live. Just have fun! When was the last time you had fun?”

“Yesterday was quite—”

“No. Absolutely not. When was the last time you had fun outside of being a parent?” James didn’t respond to that. Because he genuinely could not recall the last time that had been the case. “Exactly. Now, I’m going to end this call before you start babbling on about how parenting is the most fun job a person can have and all that bullshit that I don’t give two fucks about.”

“Thanks Pete. I really needed to hear that.”

“I know you did. And I know none of that processed and I’m going to have to remind you a billion more times but that’s alright. Goodbye James.”

“Bye Pete.” 

James took a few deep breaths before unbuckling his seatbelt and grabbing his wallet from the passenger seat. He made his way into the place, and the hostess greeted him before showing him to a reserved area in the back. It was on the back patio. The lighting was just right, and a low hum of music was buzzing through James’ body.

He took a seat at the round table with a cream tablecloth. His leg immediately began jittering as soon as he was in the chair. He could do this. James was smart and funny, at times. This date would go well. Even if it didn’t work out between the two of them. All would be well. 

James Potter genuinely believed that to be true until he heard the hissing coming from the doorway connecting the area he was in with the restaurant, “No fucking way.”

He turned to face the body of who James could only assume was his blind date, “There’s no way.”

James’ leg went wild. The tapping accelerated. There left two questions in the air. Why is the universe punishing him? And how the hell did Remus Lupin know Sirius’ estranged brother?

Chapter Text

James Potter disliked Regulus Black. From the moment they met. He didn’t like the way he treated Sirius. Or the way he huffed at every little thing he disagreed with. He didn’t like the way he pronounced his vowels. Or even the shade of his eyes. James Potter hated everything Regulus Black stood for. 

The hatred began years before. James and Sirius were fifteen, Regulus fourteen. James had caught glimpses of Regulus throughout their time at Hogwarts, but Sirius was very secretive with his brother. Everything the pair did was meant to be concealed. They rarely conversed anywhere outside of dark corridors.  

The summer after James Potter and Sirius Black started dating, James saw more Regulus Black than he had ever expected. Every date was accompanied by Regulus. Every evening stroll. James hated it. Regulus would grumble every time James held Sirius’ hand. He would walk between the couple every chance he got. He did everything he could to keep Sirius as far away from James as possible.

James Potter and Sirius Black were stuck like glue. They could never get enough of each other which was the entire issue since Regulus Black had had enough of James. James would beg Sirius to leave Regulus behind for an afternoon, but Sirius refused. He would not leave Regulus alone in that house with no protection in sight. Sirius would never stray from his brother’s side. Until he did. Until he had to.  

Regulus Black could be expressive and selfish and cruel. He was everything James loved about Sirius, yet the traits within the younger boy drove James up a wall.

“You’re Sirius’ annoying friend from school.”

“You’re Sirius’ bitchy little brother.”

Now, this was quite the turn of events. Never in his life had James thought he would ever see Regulus Black again. James had honestly been glad to rid him of Sirius’ life, and therefore, his own. But there he was, in front of him wearing a white button-up and black slacks. He did look good, James couldn’t deny it, only because objectively Regulus was attractive. God, stop staring , he cursed at himself.  

Regulus huffed out a hot breath and mechanically manoeuvred his way into the seat across from James, “Now how the fuck did this happen?”

James was wondering the same thing. How did the lovely breath of fresh air, Remus Lupin, know the embodiment of hell on earth? Remus was warm and kind. He was loving and nurturing. He was the type of father James wanted to be, and the sort of lover you would always long for. And his alleged best friend was a stone-cold bitch, for lack of better words.

“You know Remus?”

“He’s the one who set this up, isn’t he?” Regulus was taking the defensive route. 

“Glad to see you’re as lovely as ever.” James feigned a smile and glanced back to the now empty doorway. He needed someone to show up with alcohol right about now.  

“This has to be some sick joke. Where are the cameras? Back to your old habits? A bit old for pranking, wouldn’t you say?” His tone of voice was sharp. It matched his facial structure. His cheekbones to be exact. Regulus had exquisite cheekbones. James needed to get out of there before he noticed another exquisite feature. 

“This may be the first prank I’m not involved in…” Their waiter showed up after that. They each ordered a beverage and spent the next several minutes deciding on dinner. This restaurant was nice . The kind of restaurant James’ parents would like. They had finer taste than most. 

“How do you know Remus?” Regulus asked nonchalantly while his eyes skimmed James’ face for an answer. The colour was less insufferable than James had remembered. Sometimes he believed his memory was distorted. Especially that time of his life. A time when he was filled with so much love and anger. Both those feelings led to the Black family in some way.

“Oh come on, you know.” James brought his glass of sparkling cider to his lips and took a gulp. 

Regulus threw him a look of confusion, “Know what?”

“You know…” James’ dark brows furrowed and the shake of his head gave Regulus the impression he should most definitely know more than he does.

“What are you getting at?”  

“You know, Remus and I’s history.”

By then Regulus had adjusted in his seat, “Your what now?”

“Our history. We dated, of course.”

Regulus look mortified. His mouth hung open and his eyes looked panicked. He was in complete shock, “You two fucking dated? You’ve not only dated my brother but you’ve also dated my best friend?”

“Yes…Didn’t he tell you that he was setting you up with an ex?”

“Obviously not!” Regulus’ breaths were harsh and heavy. He did not like this fact.

James continued, “We dated a couple months back.”

“I need details, Potter. Was it actual dating or just a date or two? Did you two do anything—Wait, don’t answer that! Wait, actually do.”

This was a bit overwhelming for James but he quickly obliged, “Umm—We went out for a few months. We had at least ten dates before calling it quits. We slept together numerous times.”

Regulus threw his head back with a groan, “I’m going to be ill.”

“How do you think I feel? I slept with my best friend’s brother’s best friend!”

The comment caught Regulus off guard. His eyes opened, “You’re still in contact with Sirius?”

James remembered the day Sirius had shown up at his house. Since their breakup, they hadn’t spoken in months. They swore they would stay friends. They swore nothing between them would change. But it was just an empty promise made by two dumb teenage boys. So when his ex-boyfriend showed up at his door one rainy summer night, it left him flabbergasted. Sirius had discussed little of what happened that drove him out of that house outside of a therapist’s office but what he did speak of, never involved Regulus. 

“Of course.” James didn’t mean for it to come off as defensive but it did. The words slipped out and left a lingering distaste in his mouth. 

“And how was I to know? The last time I had heard you two had broken up and weren’t speaking. So of course I didn’t know.”

James gave a simple nod, “Well, now you do.”

Curiosity killed the cat is what Euphemia Potter always used to tell her son. “Mind your business James, it’s not your place to know.” She would repeat that over and over, yet it never stuck.

James was curious. He just had to know. You can’t blame him for being curious. It’s second nature, “So you didn’t know where he went after he left?”

James watched the realization wash over the other man’s face. His plump lower lip jutted out and his hollow cheeks sunk farther in, “He went to you.”

“He went to me.” James nodded in confirmation. He was surprised. He always assumed Sirius had made it clear where he was leaving to. Maybe he didn’t know as much as he thought.

“You were not even a possibility on my list.”  

“Sometimes I feel like I was the only possibility.”

“Looking back, definitely. Him going anywhere else would seem foolish.”

Their waiter showed up with their meals after that.  James had ordered a filet.  It was meaty and tender and Regulus grimaced at the sight of it.  Regulus had gone for the tofu tomato pasta.  James hated that.  He hated that Regulus called it by its official name so easily and how he of course opted for pasta of all choices.  James wanted to be a pasta guy.  He wanted to order different types while out to eat.  He wanted to know the names of the various noodles and their perfected sauces.  He wanted to know which wine to drink with it, which Regulus knew to order a glass of the most expensive red wine the staff could find.  

James hated that he was a steak guy.  He hated how he grew up ordering filet mignon at every restaurant his parents took him to.  He hated how he took after his father and knew exactly when the meat wasn’t cooked to his liking.  He hated that he wasn’t more like his mother.  But what he hated most certainly was that Lily had been the pasta type.  His dad used to joke that James had found his perfect match.  They were the next generation of Effie and Monty.  They had it all.  And then they didn’t.  James had been left with a broken heart, years lost, and no taste for pasta in sight.

“So you have a kid?”  James looked up from cutting his food and he wasn’t sure how Regulus could have connected that to him.  “Remus told me he was setting me up with a dad from Teddy’s school.” 

“You know Teddy?”

“No.  I don’t know my best friend’s kid.  Where could you have ever gotten that wild idea?”  Regulus picked at his dinner.

“I just didn’t take you for the type.”  James shrugged his shoulders and let his eyes fall to the steak. He tried to play his demeanour off as collected. 

“The type?  To what?  Have a best friend with a kid?  It’s not like I have to raise the child.  He’s not mine.”

“Okay maybe my logic isn’t the best.”

“Clearly.”  Regulus rolled his eyes. 

James set his silverware down and dared to look Regulus in the eyes,  “Can we just keep things civil?  We’re at a nice restaurant, having a nice meal being — paid for by our nice friend.  We don’t have to like each other but don’t turn this kind thing Remus did into something nasty.”

A smirk grew on Regulus’ face and James’ stomach dropped,  “You still like him.”

“What?”

“You still have feelings for Remus.”

“What?  No!”

“That’s why you agreed to this date.  You knew it would make him happy.”

“You’re so wrong—”

Regulus was amused by the fact.  He had a grin across his face and he leaned in with every word,  “But I’m not.  I’m right.  And you’re a complete idiot.” 

“That was rude.”

“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re screwed.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, but I won’t.  Because this is just brilliant!  James Potter, rejected and bid off.”  

Whatever confidence James could have possibly had within him, was gone.  He sunk into himself.  Regulus had the upper hand.  

“You’re being cruel.”

“And did I ever claim I wasn’t?  Let me make something very clear to you, James.  Remus wanted me to hit it off with you.  He wanted me to like you.  He hoped I would find you lovely and charming.  Because he isn’t interested in you in that way.  You aren’t going to change that.  When Remus Lupin makes up his mind, there’s no going back.  This situation doesn’t end happily for you.” 

The sad truth of it all was that James had known this. He didn’t expect Remus to suddenly want to try again. He knew that was only a dream scenario. James didn’t expect much from this date. He knew it would make Remus happy, and he had hoped Remus’ friend was nice. Nice enough to get along with, at least. James Potter didn’t expect anything from anyone. He didn’t feel like anyone owed him. He just did things to make those he cared about happy. And this was one of those instances. He wanted to make a person very special to him happy. And James agreeing to it had made Remus happy. That’s all James needed.

“How do you know Remus?”

“No.”

“No?”

Regulus had his wine glass in his hand, “We’re not going to do this whole small talk thing.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’d rather not.”

“But what are we going to tell Remus then? About this date.”

“ We aren’t going to tell him anything. I’m going to tell him that the guy he set me up with was sweet but just not my type. I’ll say that he had the right intentions but it wasn’t a right fit. I’m far too into pretty guys for this thing to work out.”

James’ nose scrunched up, “Hey! I am pretty!”

“Didn’t you used to have glasses?”

“What?”

“You used to wear those round glasses all the time. What happened to those?”

“Oh, I didn’t think you would remember,” James awkwardly laughed. Well, it was more of a heavy breath. “I still wear glasses, I just have contacts in.”

“Got it.”

James Potter has always hated Regulus Black. He hated him past, present, and future. There would never be a time when he didn’t hate him. This was all true. But it still didn’t explain why, an hour later, Regulus was pinned against the wall of some building a couple of streets down. And that deep hatred most certainly didn’t explain why James was licking into his mouth.  

Maybe it was a slow couple of months. Maybe James was lonely and frustrated and just needed another body. It didn’t explain why Regulus was all for this development. But truth be told, James couldn’t have cared less at the moment. Because the contact made from Regulus’ hand to James’ bicep did a number of things to him that he refused to stop.  

James couldn’t get enough of Regulus’ mouth as they morphed together with each groan. James pushed harder against him while Regulus stood there and accepted it. James Potter may have hated Regulus Black, but he loved that man’s mouth. Definitely runs in the family , James smirked to himself. And that’s when his reality came crashing down. Sirius.  

How could he be so foolish? How could he be so reckless? This was going to kill Sirius. Or Sirius was going to kill him. Either reality wasn’t pretty. The kissing slowed, and Regulus pulled away. He looked at James with his permanent scowl.  

“You’re thinking of my brother, aren’t you?”

“How can I not? You’re his carbon copy.”

“We don’t look that similar!”

“Well…”

Regulus forced James away from him. He crossed his arms over his chest, “He can never know about this.”

“Agreed.” They both said their goodbyes after that. And James gave Regulus his number. And Regulus attempted to protest, but that didn’t go so well because suddenly they were in Regulus’ car and they made out for another half an hour. And soon enough, James suggested they meet again, and Regulus somehow agreed, and that drove James to be even more confused.

The entire night had been an absolute shock. Nothing that happened that night could have been predicted. Not in a million lifetimes. But their date wasn’t even the most surprising part, in James’ opinion. It was what Regulus Black called out to him as James slowly retreated to his vehicle.  

“I’d scrap the contacts if I were you. Glasses suit you much better!”