Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The test tube swirled in the perfect colour combination. Black to red to blue. The experiment had been a success. This was long overdue and partially my fault for not using the correct slime condensate specifically from pesky dendro slimes. I was still internally celebrating my triumph when the lab shook violently before the door was rudely barged through and destroyed in the process.

The test tube lurched out of my hand, smashing and leaking the contents in the process. Well there goes all my hard work. Its not everyday my lab is intercepted this way. I steeled myself for whomever would grace my presence although i had a pretty good idea of who it might be.

My knives had already been summoned. Held tight in my hand and sizzling with Electro energy. They were certainly later than I anticipated but once again my theory has proved correct. Its a shame this time I was hoping it wouldn't.

A single figure strolled in, completely ignoring the mess he had made of my lab.

"Now now, Doc. No need to have such a look on your face. Lets talk it out before we get heavy with the weapons yes?" Spoke the uncommon voice.

No other man would be able to find this lab and no other man would do what he would do to get his hands on my creation. There was no talking to be done. This was out of the question.

"You mean like how you politely asked to be allowed in? Right, of course! Please, by all means, talk away," I spat.

I was stalling. It was obvious to anyone. Truth be told, whilst I knew how to handle myself in combat, this man was a Fatui Harbinger. I didn't stand a chance especially because my expertise lay in science and numbers. He probably knew this just as well as I did. A smirk formed on his face but only half of it was visible due to his choice to wear such an irregular mask. The mask only covered half of his face, leaving an opening for one side of his mouth and his red eyes that gleamed like rubies. He was enjoying himself. Its about time I reigned on his parade with bad news.

"Hand it over Doc. You know what i'm here for. We can do this the easy way, and no one gets hurt. I know your smart, so be smart about it."

The smirk had dropped from his face in an instant. Disgust tainted his features and his playful demeanor had long since disappeared. So he liked to toy with people? I wasnt sure if that was the case just yet but his actions and mannerisms were all over the place. He would be a tough one to predict.

"I can't do that I'm afraid Dottore. To hand over an originally crafted field tiller core to the Fatui could lead to disaster and I'm not sure I'd like to be the cause of that. Unfortunately we might have to do this the hard way."

He sighed, exasperated. Shutting his eyes tightly for a second to rid himself of the oncoming headache, he flicked his fingers once.

The shadows warped and a handful of Fatui Agents slipped through, surrounding me in my own lab. That wasn't the worst part. Andreas was with them. Not exactly with them, more like held against his will with them. He looked beat up, cuts and bruises decorated his skin and red rimmed eyes suggested the type of pain he'd experienced. Evidently he was tortured into giving them the location of this place, after all he was supposed to be my trusty assistant. I suppose giving him a holiday might not have been the best idea.

Dottore motioned for the Agent to bring Andreas forward. My grip on the double knives tightened. I had absolutely no idea what I would do. Andreas did in fact know where I hid the field tiller core I'd created myself whilst trying to recreate Khaenrian technology. But if they knew that, they wouldnt have bothered asking me. Which means he held his tongue. My heart beat a little faster at the thought of it.

"You two are well acquainted with each other, no? How about this then Doc, you tell me where i can find the core, and little Andreas here runs free. Hm?" suggested Dottore mussing up Andreas' hair.

Andreas shut his eyes tight at the fear of being hurt any more. My heart constricted. Once his eyes were open, I was looking into his eyes. A silent conversation passed between us as he nodded with a small sense of pride. A past memory between the two of us flashed before me.

"Dr L/N, as long as I am working on this project, I want you to know that if anything were to compromise it, I would lay down my life for it without a second thought," he had said out of the blue on the day we had gathered all the ingredients needed.

Back in the present, I understood what the nod signified. I made no show of responding, only turning to face the monstrous Harbinger.

"Oh? What an unexpected turn of events..." He smiled, showcasing a set of sharp teeth. "Do it."

A blade was slashed against his neck, and I suppose i should be thankful it was painless and quick. We were never close, we knew where our priorities lied. Our lives were dedicated to our occupations and whilst I knew he did have a family I never cared to ask to which he seemed completely fine with. Now that he was gone, I was the only one left. Which means they would have a hell of a time trying to get the answers out of me.

"Your turn!" Dottore smiled at me.

My Electro vision fizzled as the Agents made their move towards me. At this point, my care for the state of the lab was little to nothing. If i got out of this predicament alive I'd have to relocate anyway.

I teleported from place to place, appearing behind and above the Agents. None anticipated my skill in combat and one by one they crumpled to the ground from the shock I sent them that paralysed their neurones temporarily.

My final target stood at the door, looking perplexed by my sudden burst of power.

"Useless idiots! All of you!" He yelled at the bodies littered around the lab. He groaned before laying his eyes upon me. "You're more interesting than i first anticipated. These worthless bastards have never once exceeded my expectations of them being utter disappointments."

"You didn't really expect me to just hand it over to you, did you? I mean, you can't even come in person. Are you truly so cowardly?"

He faltered. He tensed. His eyes slowly bore into mine as he lulled over what i just said.

"Excuse me?" His tone was venomously low. An edge of bloodlust was present.

Despite his threatening tone, I couldnt be stopped.

"You are nothing but a clone of the original. That says a lot about the prime Dottore."

"And how, pray tell, did you come to that conclusion?" He asked. His emotions were completely concealed.

"You are not breathing, your chest not moving. Not to mention the line on your neck that displays the assembled parts of your body."

He smirked. "Not many can discern the original from the clone. Even my own colleagues can't tell if it's truly me. You have now given me no choice."

I tensed. My fighting stance was back in motion. I pushed my legs to move as fast as possible. I could not give him a second of advantage. I had been exhausted already from the previous situation. He made no moves. This should've been unusual however my thoughts were trained only to escape this lab. Just as I came within centimetres of him, the sound of clinking metal echoed around me.

It happened too fast. A chain. It slithered out from his sleeves and moved like a snake. It lurched for my feet first, wrapping around tightly till I could feel the shape of the chains grooving into my leg. My legs were out of action so i resorted to using my knives. My vision would only conduct on the cold metal and hurt me back.

Just as my hands prepared to throw the knives, they were stilled by a strong force. The knives tumbled out of my grip as that familiar cold metal squeezed my wrists with the strong force. I cried out. My limbs were completely constricted and I was trapped.

The last thing i felt was a chain cozy up around my throat, and the last thing I saw was Dottore barking out a laugh at my "pathetic" escape attempt. My body was thrown back where my head slammed into the back wall. Hard. I hoped that wasn't a crack I heard but by then I'd blacked out.

...

My eyes fluttered open with fatigue and achiness. I couldn't piece together a single coherent thought and whilst I felt my eyes were open, I saw nothing but black cloaking my vision. My mind was splitting in two as if universes were colliding and bombs were going off up there.

Muffled sounds could be heard. Machinery, clinking of glass, rattle of chains, a voice. Chains. What about chains? Why did that voice sound familiar? The only thing I was truly able to conclude was that I was concussed. Brilliant. Even whilst in a state of complete blindness, my medical mind was still turning cogs.

The sound of clicking in front of me brought me crashing back into reality.

"Open your damn eyes. You do not get the luxury of sleeping for two days straight when you're a hostage. I havent slept for 10 days, have some respect," spoke a voice I decided I very much disliked.

I was half tempted to keep my eyes shut but my curiousity would truly kill me one day.

I groaned as even the smallest movement sent needles and knives into my brain. My eyes were finally able to open and I blinked to adjust to the lighting. It was relatively dark aside from a blue glow emitting from all around me.

I felt a presence shift in front of me. My eyes leveled with what I assumed was a face but I honestly couldn't determine a mushroom from a face in the state I was in.

"Hi there. Nice of you to finally join me. I hope you enjoyed a good nights sleep, yes?" Said the voice. So it really was a face I was looking at.

"Oh it was splendid, thank you."

A hand slammed down on the armrest of the chair I now realised I was completely constrained against. The notion really shocked me back into the present. With my senses slowly coming back to me, I strained to see who my captor was. My memories recalled The Doctor, Dottore however this man did not match the appearance of the clone I encountered. Was it possible that the clone was from a different time of his life? The man in front of me had the same strange shade of blue hair. It was longer. The mask was different, made it impossible to even discern whether or not he was human or robot. It completely covered his eyes and nose and pointed downwards sharply, only leaving the lower third of his face visible. Sharing a resemblance with Fatui Agent masks, I concluded it was most likely the original Dottore himself.

He was taller, his shoulders wider, arms better built however his white suit still remained relatively the same with only a few adjustments.

"For a hostage, you're awfully cocky arent you darling?" He hissed.

"I have been told I have no filter. However do not mistake this as an apology for anything I say." I hissed back.

Dottore crouched down in front of me, running a hand down his face.

"Why on earth do people refuse to do nothing but disappoint?! Even my own clone. Did you know my orders were explicitly to retrieve the core from you, steal all your notes and dispose of you? What did this deranged idiot do?" He yelled pointing to what appeared to be a jumble of body parts on the table. "He brings you here! To my own lab where I now have to deal with you personally!"

He paused before continuing again with his rambling. "No. No you know what? This has nothing to do with him. He's me and I am genius. This was your doing! Why did you provoke him? What on earth could you have possibly said that made him think it would be a good idea to do the exact opposite of what I asked? You see, this is why i cant trust anyone but myself."

This was honestly quite hilarious to watch. Of course it was quite mortifying that he'd completely disassembled the clone for going against orders but it was as if he was arguing with himself about himself. They did say he had a screw or three loose.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I asked.

He groaned. "What did you say to him?"

"Are you not able to check his memory disc yourself?" I asked confused.

He seemed surprised by my suggestion for unknown reasons. "I no longer want to associate myself with that brainless clone."

"Ok... Well i told him that he couldnt have expected me to hand over the core when he couldnt even come in person. By "he" i was referring to you, if you are indeed the prime Dottore. I might've also called you a coward to which he didnt find very amusing. One thing led to another and here we are." I explained briefly.

He was silent for a moment. It was killing me that I couldnt see his face with that ridiculous mask on. Analysing behaviour and mannerisms was a skill I tended to depend on when interacting with others. I'd picked it up from days as a spy working for the Ministry of Civil Affairs. Whilst I do not know his purpose for wearing this mask, it was certainly working in his favour because I couldnt clock a single thought that was going on in his mind.

After some time, he spoke. "You were able to distinguish that he was a clone?"

"He was surprised too. He said that made me interesting which I presume is why he brought me to you. You are the prime Dottore, correct?"

Once again, a brief silence flitted by. Completely ignoring my question he scurried off somewhere and appeared once again with a pen and notebook in hand.

"Tell me how."

I frowned in confusion. "How what?"

"How you recognized him as a clone!" He responded in frustration. I couldn't understand why he wanted to know that but these clones seemed to mean an awful lot to him. It occured to me that perhaps he would want some pointers that could help improve their performance.

"Uh well I noticed his chest wasn't moving, and he wasn't breathing in any identifiable way. Also their was a line on the side of the neck which was partially visible that indicated where his parts were assembled and connected at. Furthermore, the elemental lense in his iris was visible when light reflected off it at certain angles."

He scribbled multiple things down before taking a step back to study me.

"Maybe he was on to something after all," Dottore muttered under his breath.

Once again he darted out of sight for some time as I remained seated and strapped tightly to the harsh wooden chair. I tried to conjure up some Electro energy but felt nothing. My eyes looked all over for the vision but it was useless.

"Looking for your little trinket? You can forget it. Its mine to study now," he called from somewhere behind me.

"If you want to study it, I'd suggest avoiding doing anything akin to damaging it as the results are less than pleasant," I responded back.

He was back in front of me in an instant. He seemed to move particularly fast all thanks to his long legs and strong build.

"And you know this how?"

"I'm a scientist. The first thing that popped into my head when I received it was to test it out. I was rewarded with a first degree burn on my arms and hands," I deadpanned.

"Fascinating" he muttered under his breath. It appears my experiences with it didnt deter him whatsoever.

"So are you going to let me go anytime soon or...?" I asked once he'd disappeared again. It seemed like his mind was moving at incredible speeds that he almost couldnt keep up with his own thoughts. He was a little bit like me in that sense. After all we were both specialists in the same field. I was curious to know how far his talents reached however.

"Oh. The core. Right. Thats what I'd forgotten. No absolutely not, you're not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. Well not until you give me the core that is. If you don't.... I have a dozen or so methods of convincing you just off the top of my head." He sneered at me as he came back into sight.

He pulled a chair from nearby and took a seat opposite me.

"Your choice." He shrugged.

I pursed my lips in thought. I still didn't know what they needed it for but I could come up with many theories and none of them ended well. If there was truly no way out of here then maybe I really would have to cooperate. And to do that, I needed to understand their motives, objectives. It was proving quite difficult to understand them however with Dottores features hidden from sight.

He was strangely patient as I took my time considering my options. He only faced me, I could not tell where he truly was looking.

"Tell me why you want it. If the reason is something I might be interested in taking part in, I would even teach you and explain to you exactly how i did it," is what I finally decided to say.

The small smile that graced his lips fell.

"Those are Fatui secrets. You are terribly bold demanding something like that of a Harbinger." At this he stood and strolled calmly towards me, chains slowly slithering out of his sleeves as it once did before. "It appears you have forgotten your place, dear girl. Now you will either show me where it is and also show me how to make it or I'll pick you apart and shove you inside an artificial body where your mind is wired to answer my every command. Tell me, what is your choice?"

He was standing directly above me at this point. His jaw tensed out of anger of being demanded things and of the patience he had to expend for my sake.

I stared back blankly. The key here was to show absolutely no fear, no emotion. Betray no feeling and they will not have the upper hand. Miss Yelan had taught me this long ago and I've lived everyday abiding by this. My breathing was at risk of visibly speeding up however I put all my effort into remaining completely unshaken.

"Amazing. I've never once seen this behaviour pattern before," he spoke astounded. Immediately he was distracted and once again off to grab a notebook and pen, jotting things down. "I've never witnessed a reaction like this before. How fascinating."

"If you can answer all my questions and go through my assessment I will tell you why we need the core and you will then show me how you did it. How does that sound?" He compromised.

Well it sounded too good to be true, that's for sure. Either his questions were something only a genius could answer or the assessment included something like dissection. I was seriously trapped. I only had one advantage here and that was that i was currently the only person in Teyvat (as far as he's learned) that was capable of creating a Field Tiller core that worked on Khaenrian energy out of nothing. Besides, if his explanation did not satisfy me, I could always figure a way out of here. I only needed more time.

"Alright. I agree to those terms."

"Excellent!" He beamed.

That immediately unnerved me but I could only go along with it.

What surprised me next was how he began to undo the constraints tying me to the chair.

"Try anything and you wont even reach the door before you are made up of 36 separate pieces. Got it, doc?" He whispered in my ear as he undid the remaining ties.

My heart was ripping through my chest at the sudden murderous aura around him. I only nodded silently because I certainly believed him.

Once I felt free enough to stand, I hastily thought that the previous events had left me completely unharmed. I soon learned this was not the case when my vision blackened, my breath cut short and my knees buckling.

"Woah now, what do you think you are? Invincible? Dont be stupid, you haven't healed from the beating you took," leered Dottore.

His arms held me by the waist holding me up effortlessly as my legs struggled to remain standing. I blinked slowly, wincing at the returning headache. Only now had I realised the bandage wrapped around my head. My breathing returned to normal after a short while as Dottore tried to pull me back into the seat.

I pushed away from his arms, shivering at the touch of him.

"I appreciate your help but please do not touch me. I'm fine now. Where were we?" 

"Careful with that tone, girl. We made a deal but that doesn't mean I wont simply dispose of you at any time. I'm very capable of cracking the trick to the core alone but we are simply too pressed for time," he warned. "Now come along."

Hesitantly, I followed behind him. My eyes scanned the surroundings only to find I was even more curious. This was a scientist's heaven. My face was probably expressing admiration and awe. I gorged on the sight of jars upon jars of ingredients ranging from Elemental residue of every element to the unusual hillichurl masks. Shelves of old scrolls and manuscripts lined up by each other, bookcases of the oldest cures and concoctions, it was completely bewildering.

"You like what you see? You could work here if you do what I say." He spoke in a tempting tone. I was slowly beginning to be persuaded which was not a good sign but the things I could research in here were beyond even this world. The machinery and equipment was of the newest and most efficient level. Gathering data would be as easy as breathing. Dottore was really making this a whole lot harder to reject this life.

We reached a strange looking glass cylinder. It could fit a large human and seemed to have X ray scanners fitted in. I'd almost forgotten he wasn't just a mad scientist, but also a doctor. That would explain the bandage on my head, despite its sloppy appliance. He probably wasnt too bothered about the fact I was bleeding out and heavily concussed. The headache was still pouding, chipping away at my mind. I'd have to get some painkillers soon or i might just pass out for another two days.

"We will begin with the interrogation. I will ask questions, you answer with no trouble. Are you capable of doing that darling? Or do i have to bring in the electric chair?" Asked Dottore with a petty smile.

It really was hard talking to him when I had no visuals on his eyes. As scary as they were with their blood red glare, it would help a whole lot.

"How will you know if im telling the truth?" I ask.

"I can't know for sure but im certainly confident in my analysis of character and mannerisms. I would use the truth serum we are developing but the last girl who tried it had her blood turn into acid and melt her from the inside out. It was such a horrible inconvenience to get cleaned up, and the smell! My goodness. Wouldn't want that to happen again. Unless of course, you're up for a being our guinea pig for the next batch?"

"I'll pass."

"Thats what I thought. Now don't speak unless spoken to."

The only solid thing I could determine about his character was that he was always in a state of perpetual confusion. Not exactly confusion, but I believe something might have happened that led to his personality being quite spontaneous and continuously changing. Mood swings were quite common as I'd picked up on, sometimes in a playful mood other times threatening and dominant. As much as I disliked this man, he was undeniably an interesting character that I found myself wanting to know more about. It unnerved me how picking him apart and analysing him was something i was actually interested in.

Dottore spun around to face me, clipboard and pen in hand. He began walking around me slowly as he proceeded to ask his questions.

"How old are you?" was the first question asked. Quite an easy one i thought.

"23."

He stopped abruptly. Rewinded back till he was in front of me again. There was a very noticeable height difference between us, so much so that i had to crane my neck up to look at him. The top of my head reached his collarbone at best. I couldn't read what he was thinking but my age appeared to surprise him or confuse him.
Once he'd recovered, Dottore was back to walking around me. He asked basic questions concerning my height, weight, birth year. It was almost as if he was creating a fact file about me.

"How did you get your vision?"

I pursed my lips. This wasn't a story I was a fan of. I didn't tell it often, and I certainly wasnt prepared to tell it a mad man who was rumoured to have turned many living people into robotic creations.

I sighed. "I was dispatched on a mission from when I worked as a spy for a particular Ministry. The objective was to trail a gang of treasure hoarders causing trouble on the border of the region and once I had intercepted them, they revealed that they had a hostage with them. A little girl. She was gagged and tied up and they warned me if I'd gotten any closer they would throw her off the edge of the cliff. Below was a raging sea and jagged rocks. Essentially she would be skewed like a chicken mushroom skewer. I was torn to be honest. I wanted to save her but the odds were against me. This wasn't exactly part of the job description. I was never supposed to have to choose between her life or mine. But throughout the majority of my life, I've had a strong dedication to my occupation, no matter what it was. Therefore, I was determined to see this through. I was going into this, accepting that I was going to die but a young girl under ten years old would live to see the rest of her life."

I paused, looking up. He was listening intently. Dottore motioned with his hand for me to continue.

"I caused a distraction by throwing some smoke bombs and when they were disoriented, I lunged forward shoving the girl inland and taking the treasure hoarders down with me. I'm not sure what happened after that, I couldn't seem to be able to explain what I saw or felt. I remember falling off the cliff, almost in slow motion believe it or not. It felt like a near death experience. Just as I was nearing the jagged rocks, a lightning bolt lit up the sky and I felt a surge of energy. Something solid had begun to form in my hand and I was teleported back to land where I appeared right beside the crying girl. I scared the living day light out of her and she passed out but she was safe. And so was I apparently. The vision was in my hand glowing and sending fizzling electricity into the air around it. Thats how I got my vision." I shrugged.

He considered this before speaking.

"Were you happy to receive one?" Asked Dottore.

This caught me off guard. I couldnt conceal the surprise this time but I recovered insantly. I'd realised I'd never really thought about it that deeply.

"Im not sure. People often wish they recieve visions because it means they were chosen by the gods, or some other nonsense like that. I wasn't an adventurer or a traveller of any sort. My job did require me to have good combat skills but I never wished for a vision. Truth be told… I was kind of ok with dying then. I was dying to save her life and whilst I still had so much I wanted to do, I still didn't feel like I'd lost anything. I had no reaction to receiving a vision. I thought maybe I could test a little bit and you already how that went but aside from that, it has never been a big part of me. Only for protection."

Dottore remained silent and continued to write things down. I thought he'd forgotten I was there after a while because he was muttering to himself and he hadn't even asked a question.

"You worked as a spy. Is that why you have little to no emotional reaction to anything?"

I've got to admit, I was a little taken aback by the fact that he basically just called me emotionless. I did feel. I felt a lot. And the reason I felt a lot was because I always trapped it inside. I bottled it up so much that I just feel a jumble of different emotions inside me tearing apart at each other, clawing to reach the parts of me that will let go and let me feel. I've never allowed that to happen however, so it soon became hard for me to distinguish what I was actually feeling. I can't really remember what different emotions are actually supposed to feel like anymore. And eventually it stopped affecting me to the point where I forget that in order to function most efficiently I do have to take care of my mental health. I just havent gotten round to it yet. I would never ever say this out loud however, so I merely settled with:

"Yes."

I hoped my swirling thoughts couldnt be visible through my eyes. Eyes can tell you a whole lot about a person which explains why I couldn't understand this strange man no matter how hard I tried. I really wanted to rip that infernal mask off his face and get a good look at him. Perhaps I'd ask him what purpose it served when he was in one of his good moods.

"Well that's it for the interrogation. You answered well. Now pleases step into this case where we will begin the examination." He ordered as he headed in the direction of the control panel. The control panel which had a whole lot more buttons than I felt was necessary.

I hesitated. He stopped his trip to the panel to turn back at me

"Nervous are we?" Dottore chuckled. "The most this machine can do is make you dizzy. These buttons are for other - more dangerous - gadgets."

I didnt believe a word that came out of his mouth however it was get in that thing or be turned into minced meat. He grinned at me and what I really began to hate was how only his smile could be visible from the mask. I was starting to wonder if that intentional because it was intimidating.

Dottores POV

She was starting to freak me out. First of all, I dont actually know her name, the number of files I view in a day means that irrelevant facts like this one tend to get forgotten. I wont bother asking because she'll die soon anyway. Unless… This is strange for me. I've never once doubted my decision to kill someone but it appears to be happening at this very moment.

This woman is so intriguing and I'm struggling to keep my curiousity at bay. I want to pick her apart, open her up and take out that supposedly big brain of hers. Unravel it and find out exactly what shes thinking because her eyes are blanker than a sheet of paper and she talks like a dead fish. I said before how confident I am in my character analysis but she seems to be humbling my skill.

Women have always been strange creatures to me. They look weird and talk weird and act weird and care about weird things. Any woman I've had to deal with before has followed the precise and accurate behaviour pattern I've studied from them before. The occasional change is usually when they break and cant think straight anymore.

This girl. She's like nothing I've seen before. Her behaviour is so off the charts, I genuinely had to take a moment to comprehend her actions. Huge anomalies like herself tend to stump scientists. She hasn't flinched or cried or whimpered or screamed once. Not a single one of my threats has brought out even an ounce of life from her. From her story of how she got her vision, I concluded that she doesnt care for life and is probably mentally unstable as she was fine with plummeting to her death. Personally I admire that about her, but objectively speaking as a doctor that is irregular.

I've only seen flashes of emotion. Anger, surprise, perhaps irritation. It's driving me nuts. I hoped my questions would stir something in her but she is so persistent. She even admitted her emotionless demeanor came from her days as a so called spy. I dont know how that fits into her background because she has shown knowledge of scientific ability.

When she told me she'd successfully distinguished between a clone and myself I didnt believe her. The reason I asked her was to check for myself and ensure to make adjustments to newer models. What astonished me the most was she was absolutely correct about everything she said.

Model D56.001 really did have incorrections that could reveal his true nature. How she noticed them, I will never know. Perhaps she's wearing contact lenses with enhanced visuals because it took me a good minute or so to actually see the elemental lense in the clone. Not to mention, the parts sectioning. It was impossibly thin and unnoticeable. She cant be human. Shes a strange strange women and shes starting to frighten me because I made sure to test her DNA. Results showed she is truly 100% human and any files about her from the regions she's lived in reveal she has a high IQ. That can't just be it though.

She doesnt fear me whatsoever. Fear is how I work. My soldiers follow me because they are terrified of what I can do to them yet she sits there absorbing my threats as if they were simply abyssal radiation. She almost looked bored! Can you believe her?!

I need to crack her. Thats the conclusion I've come to. She beat me to the Field Tiller Core and it was humiliating. No one beats me and gets away with it. Is this not suggesting that she might be… smarter than me? Im a genius! The Tsaritsa chose me for a reason. I know underneath her cold stare, she's writhing with ugly emotions and thoughts and she isn't half intelligent as she appears to be. It is likely she has been able to engineer serums or contraptions that have given her the ability to see more than the human eye. This X ray will reveal it all.

I vow that she will not leave this place until I've gotten what I want from her and until I have cracked her. I will know what shes thinking and I will find out how she did it.

I will break her.

Chapter Text

The X ray scan went smoothly, no dizziness as Dottore suggested might happen. It was a strange contraption but I loved the way technology was improving specifically in this field. Dottore scolded me more than once for moving around too much as I tried to study the mechanism.

It appears I was correct. I was indeed concussed however relatively unharmed. The common bruise and scratch was nothing. Dottore had a habit of simply strolling off at his leasure, leaving me unsure where to stand or what to do. I’d decided it was worth holding off on the escape plan until he told me his motives, especially after I’d gone to all the trouble of following his orders.

He was back in an instant behind me. “Drink this. It’ll help with the concussion and any fatigue you might be feeling. I refuse to allow you to pass out and get another peaceful night's sleep.”

A test tube was dangled in front of my face. He truly was enormous compared to me, nothing like the clone I’d fought earlier. I wonder how old he was when that clone was his real self. My attention however, was currently on the contents in the test tube he handed me. I could never trust anything he said or gave to me therefore I had to test it.

Sniffing the test tube, I smelt: mint, crystalline cyst dust, naku weed and zaytun peach. Smelled safe enough, many of these ingredients are often used in calming medicines but I was still suspicious.

“Naku weed AND Zaytun peach? Are you trying to drug me Dottore?” I asked skeptically.

“Drugging you is a more malicious way to describe it. They have numbing properties, you won’t feel a thing. Oh and that’ll be Lord Dottore to you, girl.”

He was off again mumbling to himself and scribbling in his notebook. A less explosive reaction to my disrespect this time… Interesting. I was curious to know how he ended up like this. This is often the result of years of solitude or some form of torture. I didn’t want to assume because it was likely he was born with a screw loose. It was entertaining to watch.

I tipped a little bit of the content onto the nearby table to test whether or not it had acidic or corrosive properties. No reaction. I supposed it was safe enough to drink. I’d never seen this specific mixture before so I’d be sure to make a mental note of its affects.

“I’m wounded you trust me so little,” he feigned a hurt voice whilst covering his heart mockingly.

“I’ve done everything you asked for Lord Dottore. Please see through your side of the deal.”

He sighed before dropping everything in his hands and motioning to me to follow him. He was confident enough to walk with his back to me completely unguarded. Well, I had no idea where those chains would come from so I suppose he was protected all the time.

Dottore led me through another wooden door. The room behind it was simply furnished with a large window overlooking what appeared to be the largest garden maze I’d ever seen. Snow plummeted down from the heavens, coating the garden in powdered sugar. A water fountain just about visible in the centre of the maze was frozen in time, the edges of the water curving in sharp points. It was nice to know we were still in Snezhnaya. The only place with a garden as extravagant as this one would be the Zapolyarny Palace.

I hadn’t realized he had stopped walking until I bumped into his back which was harder than I thought it would be. He turned back slowly, scoffed and proceeded to sit in one of two chairs at a small table. A chess board lay vacant on the table until the Harbinger opened it up and gestured for me to sit.

“You know how to play chess?” He asked.

I nodded and took my seat where the pieces on the board were white. Both the black and white pieces were translucent, as if they were crafted from icicles into crystallized pawns and rooks. We began playing in silence until he determined it was time to speak.

“Do you know why I questioned you about your vision and your personal details?”

“I just assumed you were gathering a fact file on me,” I responded whilst knocking off a pawn of his.

“Hm that’s part of it, yes. The other reason is that I wanted to know whether or not requirements had to be met in order to receive a vision. The physical assessment was to ensure your body hadn’t been tampered with or affected by the vision. I have been researching this for years now and whilst many answers I’ve received have had some resemblance to one another, there was no definite pattern which as you should already know very well being a scientist yourself, is completely inconvenient.”

He seemed different as he spoke and played. It was as if all his many sides had combined into one and he was fully focused on the subject at hand. It was a nice change, it almost cleared the air. So was this how he acted in serious times?

I nodded slowly. “Where is this going Doctor?”

Knocking off another pawn of mine, he tilted his head down to face me. “What is the definition of vision?”

I frowned at this odd question. The cogs in my braining were quickly working to compile theories, to predict where he was going with this conversation. “A vision. The act of seeing something with the eye…”

Dottore was quiet. He was leaving me to think it over. And suddenly it clicked. It was probably evident in my eyes as at my point of realisation, his focus was back on the chess board.

I was stunned. He was suggesting that the visions, granted by the gods, are actually a method of spying? But who was doing the spying? The archons themselves or the higher powers?

"This is…” I started unable to think of a word to describe what I’d just learned.

“Crazy? To anyone else, maybe. But if you are truly as intelligent as you are known to be then you would understand that this theory is quite plausible.”

“Do you have proof?” I asked as we neared the ending of the game.

“As of now, not yet. But that is not our main focus. I needed you to establish or acknowledge the idea that we are constantly surrounded by Vision holders who are essentially supplying information to the Heavenly Principles involuntarily. Another reason why I have confiscated your vision,” said Dottore as he won the chess game.

The Heavenly Principles? Was that not related to Celestia? My own research was focused on the Abyss and non elemental related subjects which is why I was able to identify faults in Dottores clone fairly easily.

“Think of it like a game of chess,” he piped up. “You are Celestia and I am the Fatui led by Her Majesty. I won, however…”

As he trailed off, the pieces magically began to reset themselves to their original places. We were back to square one. I was struggling to understand what he was trying to insinuate.

“In this game of war, not even a mere pawn can be spared. On this chessboard, checkmate is not where the game ends. It goes deeper than that. And that is where your little discovery comes into place. Your research focuses heavily on the Abyss, correct?” Dottore questioned as he leaned back and crossed his arms.

“Correct. Are you going to tell me what you need it for?”

“All in due time. However you must know that the Abyss is the remnants of the human civilization of Khaenriah,” to which I nodded. “Our plan is to use their technology, that was once destroyed and buried by Celestia, to revolt and tear down the chains they have trapping us to this world. Khaenriah’s technology was thriving and efficient and relied on nothing but their own human minds. Her Highness will lead the Fatui into battle and alongside us will be an army of soldiers and weapons all powered by Khaenrian technology. That way we can ensure we will not be sabotaged by the manipulation of the elements.”

“But is the Cryo Archon not a pawn for Celestia herself? Should she not be on their side and work to eliminate any powers that will oppose them? After all her power was granted by Celestia.”

“She has her reasons. We are her servants and our trust lies only in her. Only she can lead us to a free world. Now that you understand what is at stake here, I am going to offer you an opportunity,” stated Dottore. “You are… different to how I predicted you would be. Your characteristics and demeanor, your intelligence as much as it pains me to say it, are all things that make you fit to be a Fatui. It is not my decision to make but what I am offering you is a position to work alongside me and engineer an army worthy of fighting along side us. You would be allowed access to everything in this lab and you would be paid handsomely. All you need to keep in mind is that you will be answering to me and only me. You have… about 2 minutes and 18 seconds to decide.”

Well that was awfully specific. Not to mention no where near enough time to comprehend everything he just unloaded on me. It was extremely tempting and it disgusted me that all this time I was being used by my own vision rather than the opposite way around. There was still so much to know but I assumed I would learn the rest if I accepted this position.

“And if I reject your offer, what then?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

He laughed. “Well you die of course! I thought you were smart Doc, how about you use that brain of yours hm?”

And he was back to his confusing self. It was strange though. As crazy and threatening as he was, I was sort of starting to like him. Alright, “like” is a strong word. Perhaps, tolerate him. Dottore was lively and scary and murderous and smart and humorous all at once. I liked the way he knew when to be serious and his method of explaining things was unique. It would definitely be interesting to work with him even if he would threaten me with a death sentence if I so much as breathed within 5 feet of him. This would allow me to expand my knowledge of Teyvat and I’d have all these resources to make use of. To be honest, it was a no brainer and despite how huge and daunting this project would be, I felt a rush of excitement at the thought of being part of this. My mind was made up.

“Times up!” He shouted, snapping his pocket watch shut and leaning forward to hear my reply. A twisted grin was plastered on his mouth.

“I accept,” I responded with a shrug.

“Excellent. You will not be getting your vision back ever so you can forget that. Now all we have to do is get you properly assigned as a Fatui. Come along, little assistant.”

“Uh hold up. Assistant? I thought we’d be working alongside each other. How come you failed to mention this earlier?” I asked jumping into his way as he was about to leave the room.

Dottore chuckled darkly and leaned forward until masked face was inches from mine.

“You silly, silly girl. You think I would let you run around here freely and do what you want with the place?” He clamped two hands down on my shoulders and shoved me backwards. “All you are going to do my girl, is do whatever I say. And we both know what’ll happen if you back out now. So follow quickly.”

Dottore swifted past me without a care in the world. Me on the other hand was stunned to the spot. It wasn’t that I was entirely against being an assistant, I just felt that this now put me in a more vulnerable spot. My theory was that he would use me for whatever he needed from me and dispose of me. If that was truly the case then I’d have to start planning my escape right now. I was open to sharing my knowledge of the Field Tiller core as a way of contributing to this possible revolt but I also needed to consider my own safety. My plan of action was to do as I’m told until I believe the time is right to flee.

Once this thought process was cleared, something still didn’t make sense to me. I caught up with Dottore as he scribbled a small note and pushed it through a tube that disappeared into the ceiling. A messaging system.

“There’s something I don’t understand, Dottore. From what I’ve gathered, you have no reason to be loyal to the queen. You have no real motivations to pursue this objective and revolt against the Higher powers. Unless you do and you haven’t revealed it to me yet.”

He stood to his full height, the white suit he wore taking the shape of his shoulders and arms. I could not tell if I’d angered him or not and his mouth remained in a tight line.

“Did you forget the part where you answer to me and not the other way round? My motives are purely to take down Celestia and then I will be free to experiment and create to my heart's content. So don’t question me again and I want you to remain as silent and invisible as possible until your new garments arrive, do you understand?” He turned his back to me, and stalked off with a long scroll in his hand.

None of that cleared my suspicions of him but my mind was so muddled about the current situation that all I could do was follow his orders and allow myself a moment to reconcile.

That’s what would have happened if my mouth didn’t move faster than my brain. Within seconds I was following him and watched as he listed down ingredients that were running low.

“What new garments are you referring to?” I asked as I moved to his right and studied the contents of the glass jars.

Dottore flinched a little. It appears I’d scared him with my sudden appearance. His gloved hands clenched the paper tighter as he turned his head at me.

“I’m sewing that mouth shut when we get back. No more questions. I need quiet.”

I sighed before nodding. A knock came from the door of the glowing lab. From this corner, the entire room was visible. It really was a beautiful sight. The room was fairly dim and the blue glow added to the atmosphere. Glass jars, test tubes, beakers were strewn on tables and shelves. One wall was lined with medical equipment and another lined with mechanical tools. Another door was visible that appeared to lead to a storage room. There were still other doors yet to be explored. I was actually excited.

Whilst Dottore was off answering the door I turned to view the jar that had just caught my attention. The heart of what appeared to be a human was floating in a strange liquid. However on closer inspection, a small label that read “Mitachurl Heart” led to a small gasp leaving my lips. This was… incredible!

“Oi your stuff is here. Go get changed,” he had said as he walked towards me. “What are you gasping at, geez…”

Tapping the jar, I turned to him with excitement.

“How did you do this?! I’ve never ever been able to preserve an organ from an Abyssal enemy for longer than 10 seconds before they disintegrate. This is an insane discovery,” I spoke eagerly.

He tensed a little before clearing his throat. “Uh… Well it’s mainly just a jar of hilichurl blood along with some other preserving ingredients. You just have to make sure the heart is extracted and contained within those 10 seconds.”

“Interesting…” I muttered under my breath, deep in thought. “I’d already tried the hilichurl blood method but I suppose I never transferred it in fast enough… Probably because the mitachurls I dissected on the battle field were already dead. I’ll have to try it again sometime.”

“Yes, yes, another time. Now hurry up and put these on. We have some important people to see. We can’t be anymore late,” said Dottore as he shoved a stack of clothes into my chest.

I glanced down at my own appearance and grimaced at the droplets of blood that had seeped from my (now healed?) head wound and onto my white lab coat. It appears Dottore’s strange medicinal concoction had done its job without drugging me. Interesting.

I hurriedly changed in the chess room and glanced at myself in reflection of the frosted window. The attire was fairly familiar from the Fatui agents I’d seen and fought over the years. This one seemed more regal. The jacket had a large hood lined with fur and it was completely black aside from intricate icy patterns in the color of blue and icy grey. It flowed nicely with fur lined cuffs and wide sleeves. The jacket reached just about my knees. A simple white blouse with frills at the collar and black skin tight trousers were also provided. All that was left was the knee high boots - also lined with fur - decorated with crisscrossed laces on the front and a medium high heel. It looked good. No mask was provided unlike the all the other Fatui agents.

Together, Dottore and I made our way up the stairs outside of the lab’s door. It appeared the room was on the lowest floor and even having another basement level. Lots of exploring to do for later.

We walked in silence down the hallway to the left of the lab and it only just hit me how much colder it felt in here.

“So why are we going to see the Tsari-“

My sentence was cut short as my back hit the wall and the air left my lungs. Dottore towered over me and I could almost feel the glare from behind his mask. His hands were wrapped around my throat but not tight enough to choke, only to hold me in place.

“Invoke her name… And she hears all. You will never. Ever. Refer to her by her name. Understood?” He whispered in my ear. I could hear him breathing hard as it seemed I’d used up all of his patience.

His abrupt action had shocked me but the most I could react with was a tensed jaw and a struggle in breathing. I only nodded silently. He remained standing there, holding me hostage for a moment longer. Although it wasn’t visible to me, I could feel his eyes studying me. I couldn’t hold back the glare I sent in his direction. A smirk rose on his lips as he traced a thumb along the line of my jaw before stepping back.

Simultaneously, Dottore pulled me away from the wall by my wrists, a smile still painted on the lower half of his face. He dusted off my shoulders, then his own hands and proceeded to walk ahead as if nothing had ever happened.

That was very strange. My mind was still catching up with what had just occurred when I had to jog to join Dottore’s side. I had no idea saying the Archon’s true name would allow them to hear the reason for it being spoken. Why Dottore reacted so badly to it is something I would have to learn later.

The journey up the palace was awkward and long. I knew the palace was a large place but their had to be a quicker way than walking up so many staircases.

“Can we just…” I said catching my breath at the top of the 6th staircase we’d climbed. “Can we just stop for a second? If it wasn’t already obvious I’m very unfit and I didn’t think this was part of the job. If I’d known I might’ve settled for a good execution you know?”

“There’s only 9 more left. If we stop now our efficiency levels will drop and you will be more likely to ask for more rests. Might I remind you I have 10 days of sleep to catch up on after this. Five minute break then we do the other 9 staircases all at once. Got it, girl?” He responded impatiently.

“You don’t even know my name, do you?” I asked.

“Pfft why would I? Assistant 53 works just fine. It’s only a matter of time before you disappoint me and I’m on the search for 54th.”

My jaw dropped. “52 other assistants before me? You must be completely insufferable.” I was pushing it here, directly insulting him. Time to test his reaction.

Dottore showed no signs of anger or irritation. He only crossed his arms and leaned on the wall opposite the bannister I stood next to.

“You misunderstand. They all became my experiments after they failed to please me and died in the process. They were the insufferable ones. Krupp lasted the longest but I can’t seem to remember where I left him.”

They all… died? All of them became his experiments? How reassuring. I certainly wasn’t have second thoughts now. I’ll need some time alone later to explore the palace and draw up some maps of the exits.

A brief moment flitted by. The sound of flickering flames on the walls and wind wailing outside filled the silence.

“My name is Y/N L/N by the way,” I remembered to tell him. “You know, to add to the fact file. Plus it would look a little weird if you didn’t know your own assistants name in front of the queen.”

He gave no response or reaction. That mask was going to make our conversations awfully awkward. He only checked his pocket watch every thirty seconds or so and played with the rings on his fingers.

“So why do you wear a mask?” I decided to ask.

He froze. Stopping his fiddling with his fingers, his head tilted up to look at me from opposite the corridor. “I think you would rather not know. Why do you ask?”

I expected him to react violently but he was quiet and curious. The question was asked with no tone but he did seem intrigued. I liked this personality he was displaying. I wondered if there was a way to make him maintain a mood all the time.

I shrugged at his question. “I just find it a bit hard to talk to someone when I can’t see their face. It makes it difficult to understand what you're thinking or when you want to be left alone. I apologize for asking too many questions or annoying you. I just… this situation is just weird. There’s so little I don’t know and my mind works fast. The questions have been piling upon each other in my head and I’ve been told I talk a lot so apologies for that in advance too. I’ll try to be an efficient and reliable assistant. I hope we can work well together, Doctor.”

“That’s lovely, yes. Unfortunately I stopped listening 30 seconds ago and you have ten seconds of rest left before we begin our ascent once more.”

A small smile touched my lips at his response. In my head, I imagined he might’ve felt a bit embarrassed at my mini speech.

We continued to ascend the staircase and by the time we were at the top, the temperature had dropped even further. I pulled my coat tight against me and slipped the leather gloves that were in my pocket on.

Before turning a corner, Dottore stopped abruptly and turned around to me. “I have asked for an audience with Her Majesty to introduce you as my assistant and a new member of the Fatui. If my predictions are correct, you will be enrolled as a Lieutenant or a General because you will work by my side. This is a huge honor so you will be completely respectful, don’t speak unless spoken to and don’t even think of embarrassing me. She has been expecting me to prove myself and improve my ‘teamwork’ skills for sometime now. Can’t imagine why but her orders are absolute. Is that all clear?”

“Yes.”

“‘Yes, my Lord.’”

“Sorry. Yes my Lord.”

“Ah this is utterly hopeless,” he sighed under his breathe.

So he wants to impress the Tsaritsa. He clearly does have respect for her and wants her approval. I wasn’t expecting that from him but he continues to surprise me.

As we turned the corner, a maid brought forward a large white coat and placed it around Dottore’s shoulders as he marched towards the biggest, most glamourous door made of ice and crystals. He adjusted it over his shoulders and whilst before he looked intimidating, now he really looked like the 4th Harbinger.

I hadn’t realised I’d stopped to stare until he looked back at me from ahead. His mouth twisted into a grimace as he gestured for me to follow quickly. Immediately I was at his side looking up at him awaiting whatever would transpire next.

Chapter Text

I was nervous. Never before had I met an archon and this one specifically was infamous for her heartless and cold nature. I took Dottore’s words of advice very seriously and intended to keep my head down the entire time.

We stood at the door and the light streaming in from the other side refracted through the door leaving diamond patterns on the floor. The doors opened with a creak and someone nearby announced the arrival of the Harbinger by my side. He strolled in confidently, me shortly following. This room’s temperature was obviously below zero and a monstrous aura came from the glassy throne I’d briefly glanced up at on the way in. Keeping all of Yelan’s tips in mind, my expression was empty, my heart was calm and my posture was confident and straight. I was careful not to look over confident.

Once we were in front of the Queen of Snezhnaya, Dottore and I kneeled in front of her with our heads bowed. Court etiquette was one thing I knew how to do at least.

“You may rise.”

Her voice. It was everywhere and nowhere. As if it was only in my head but bouncing off the walls at the same time. Royal attendants stood around the room and near the throne. Guards held spears of ice and all eyes were trained on us. Remain calm Y/N. Breathe.

As we stood, she spoke again. “You rarely come to see me of your own volition, Dottore. Announce your reason for calling this audience.”

I had yet to actually look at her and take in her appearance. The moment I did I wished I was wearing a mask like every other Fatui in here. Her hair was silver and shimmery like snow falling under the moonlight. Her eyes grey and cold; looking into them alone sent a shiver down my spine. She was looking directly at me. I’m not sure if studying the Tsaritsa’s appearance was against the law but I couldn’t help it. I’d heard rumors about her beauty so I’m certainly not surprised she’s drop dead gorgeous but she was also quite terrifying.

“I have brought with me today Dr Y/N L/N, the only person we know to date who has created an original Field Tiller core and completely replicated Khaenrian technology. With your permission and blessing, I would like to request taking on Dr L/N as an official Fatui researcher who will work along side me to begin work on building an arsenal of Abyssal weapons.”

The room was silent after this. Several attendants and royal advisors turned to one another, muttering and whispering as they stared at me, sizing me up. My eyes remained trained forward.

“This is unusual for you Doctor. Your many previous assistants were never properly enrolled as Fatui. What makes this one here so special?” echoed her wise voice.

“Putting aside her discoveries and experience in her field, she is talented in concealing her motives and emotions - which is precisely the type of person useful for interrogating. Furthermore, she isn’t easily manipulated. Her only faults are her sharp tongue and enormous curiousity,” he added pointedly looking at me.

I grimaced, hoping this wouldn’t lead to my dismissal.

“Hm. Are you forgetting the time you indirectly insulted me with your sharp tongue Dottore?” she jabbed at him.

All was quiet. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at him with slightly wide eyes. His shoulders were tense but his lower face remained unchanged. No one knew what was about to happen. Was she scolding him?

“I merely jest,” she said without so much as breaking a smile.

I could almost feel the room exhale in relief. Dottore’s shoulders visibly relaxed and a small smile curved on his lips. His lips which I had just realised were a very pretty shape. Curse me and my constantly distracted mind. Not the time Y/N, really not the time.

“Perhaps it’s time you get a taste of your own medicine Doctor,” she directed at Dottore. The Tsaritsa then turned to me, her silver locks shifting like shimmery satin. “You. Come closer.”

Shit. She’s talking to me. I took a deep breath and made my way forward until I was standing within two meters of her. She studied me intently as I held a stoic expression, concealing all fear and anxiety deep inside me.

“Give me your hand.”

I pursed my lips before putting my hand in hers. Her eyes were still trained on me however she flipped my hand until my palm faced upwards. Placing her own hand on mine I felt cold seep into my veins. Was this a punishment? I had no clue what was going on. Usually I would have come up with a theory to explain her actions but my mind was extremely occupied with worrying for my life.

Glancing down after she removed her hand, my eyes registered the brightly glowing lines in the shape of tree roots or veins spreading over my palm and up and down my fingers. The archon tilted her head as she followed the lines with her eyes almost as if she were reading. Palm reading? It was certainly a possibility. My theory was proven correct when she spoke again. I could feel the curious eyes around me aching to get a look.

“You come from Fontaine originally.” She stated not waiting for a reply. “A lonely child whose knowledge was her only friend. An orphan. Interesting… A liyuen spy at one point; electro vision wielder; scientist and doctor; and only 23 years old. My, my, what achievements you have acquired. She might just give you a run for you money Doctor.”

At that she looked up at him. It was almost as if she could see right through his mask, her eyes were so deep and calculating like a never ending snow blizzard. Her eyes looked amused at whatever reaction Dottore had shown before her focus was back on me.

“I see a bright future for you in the Fatui and-“ suddenly elements of surprise were visible on her face. The muttering and whispering around us had begun again.

The queen did a double take as she read my palm again and this time when she looked up she stared at Dottore then me. And this happened again. Now everyone in the room was visibly confused and intrigued. Me however, was terrified at what she had just discovered in my future. Evidently Dottore had something to do with this. She did nothing to ease my worries when her icy cold expression cracked as the corners of her lips curved into a small smile. It appears this expression was completely unnatural for her because I swear I heard a gasp or two from somewhere behind me.

“What a turn of events. How unexpected. Well I have no choice now it seems. Bring the sword,” she stated.

Oh. Shit. She could at least tell me what I’ve done before executing me in front of the entire royal court. This might be the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me. Honestly, she’d be doing my a favor. But… what about all the research I still have to do? Damn it. I don’t want to die just yet.

A soldier brought forward an opened wooden case holding a sword truly only worthy of the gods. It was crystal clear with the Fatui symbol etched into the pommel of the sword and a ruby as red as Dottore’s eyes taunted me with its sparkles and glimmers. Once her hand was wrapped around the hilt it glowed white. I gulped.

“Don’t look so afraid, child. The only time I killed someone with it was because they didn’t deserve a knighthood by myself. Now, kneel before your queen.”

Knighthood? I visibly exhaled and knelt to one knee. Alright, that might be the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me. Mistaking a knighthood for an execution. Sometimes I wondered if I truly was as smart as I was supposed to be.

“Y/N L/N. Do you pledge to serve me as your master, your queen, your god?”

“I do.”

“Do you pledge to use all of your vast knowledge and abilities to serve only the Fatui for our greatest cause?”

“I do.”

“Do you pledge that once your death is upon you, it will be a sacrifice for your country, your people and your god?”

“I do.”

“Then I hereby award you with a knighthood and the title of General Y/N L/N, Fatui Researcher and Second-in-command to the 4th Fatui Harbinger, Il Dottore.” She sealed the deal by tapping the sword on both my shoulders.“Rise.”

I stood. Another soldier stepped forward holding yet another open wooden box, much smaller in size. The Tsaritsa reached in pulling out a black Fatui mask almost identical to Dottores; however this one covered the entire face.

“Blue seems to suit you well, does it not?” She asked. Her hands covered the mask and revealed wisps of blue that reminded me of butterfly wings. I wasn’t sure whether or not to reply to her question, she continued nonetheless. “You will wear this mask as a sign of your loyalties to the Fatui and your queen. It is to be worn all the time.”

She gestured with her hand for me to lean closer. Once I did, she placed the mask on my face and it miraculously held its place. I’m not sure what type of magic or science this was but it was pretty cool. I was definitely going to test it later.

“You are dismissed. And Dottore?” She called as we headed for the exit.

“Yes, Your Highness?” He turned.

“I hope you will prove me wrong this time. Don’t let me down.”

A brief pause flitted by before he nodded and swiftly left the room pulling his caped jacket along behind him. I quickly followed suit, struggling to keep up with his long strides. The entire situation had seemed to go his way but I couldn’t shake the feeling he was mad.

The maid from before quickly removed the white fur cloak from his shoulders and scurried off quickly. People in our way jumped back in fear and that’s when I knew something was wrong.

Once we’d turned the corner, I was able to make out the angry mutters under his breath.

“Second in command, my ass. Silly girl has been here one day and already the queens all over her. ‘She might give you a run for your money, Doctor.’ Ha! She can certainly try! She won’t last three weeks here, that’s for sure.”

Oh. He was jealous. How cute. His grumbling continued all the way down and he was so distracted he hadn’t noticed how far behind I’d fallen. This journey was certainly less demanding than our ascent yet I was still utterly exhausted. Half way down i was forced to remove the mask due to the difficulty in breathing it had caused me. Despite the fact it covered the entire face, wearing it was as if nothing covered my eyes at all.

I was starting to sweat and my limbs ached. Looks like I’d need another 2 days of sleep. I only hoped I wouldn’t be called to the queen's throne room too often.

Once I’d finally reached the floor where the lab resided, I’d long lost Dottore. It only just occurred to me that I wasn’t made aware of where I’d be staying. Wonderful. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse.

As I neared the short staircase leading to the basement lab, I witnessed Dottore yelling at two people before storming down the stairs out of sight. Right on cue, the two figures glanced up and acknowledged my presence. A tall ginger man and a short grayish brown hair girl carried by what appeared to be a robotic man glanced at each other before stalking towards me. Only harbingers carried that tremendous aura. I steeled myself and prepared for the worst.

“Hi there comrade! You must be the newly appointed Second in Command to Dottore. I’m Tartaglia, No.11 of the Fatui Harbingers. When they told me we had a new general acquainted with the Doctor, I wasn’t expecting you to be so cute. Call me Childe,” spoke the ginger very enthusiastically. So news travelled fast around here huh?

Evidently not all harbingers were as difficult as Dottore. His eyes told a completely different story however. Completely devoid of life and light. There’s a story behind that.

I took his extended hand and shook it. “Dr Y/N L/N at your service my Lord. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope I can be of service to you.”

“No need to be so formal. We seem to be similar in age so just call me by name. Although it might be best to remain formal when discussing important matters later. I’m nothing like the Doctor so no need to worry-“

He was cut off mid sentence when the young girl shoved her way forward. Both her hands wrapped around my own tightly and a hungry look in her eyes stared at me.

“Tartaglia needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. Apologies.”

“Hey!”

She broke eye contact to glare at him as he raised two hands in surrender.

“I am Sandrone. And you are utterly splendid! Do you think you would be up for some… tests? Oh i'd love to show you my lab!”

“I, uh…”

Childe detached her hands from mine and spun me around, leading me back out of the corridor and away from the lab.

“Maybe some other time, Sandrone. We should get her settled in and actually allow her to feel like she wants to stay here before you and the others scare her away.”

Sandrone scowled at him before being carried off in the opposite direction.

“Never. Ever. Go anywhere with Sandrone. You’ll end up tied to puppet strings and controlled by a remote. I’ve seen that look in her eyes. She’ll likely be back and try to lure you away to her own lab,” warned Childe.

He smiled down at me as I gulped. These people were beyond insane.

“Her own lab? What’s her occupation?”

“Well, she’s a scientist of her own however her work involves automations more than actual research therefore you could think of her more as an engineer. Whilst Dottore tends to keep his lust for test subjects more on the down low to catch them when they least expect it, she makes it completely obvious.”

“… I see.”

“Sorry, I’m not trying to scare you!” He laughed. “I’m sure you’ll be just fine.”

How reassuring. Wait a second, where was he taking me?

“Uh, where are we going, Childe?” I asked cautiously.

“Don’t look so nervous, I’m not taking you to a cliff to murder you! The Tsaritsa thought it would be a good idea for someone close to your age - and actually sane haha - to show you your quarters and your schedule,” he explained. Unlike Dottore he wasn't afraid to invoke the name of the archon.

“Oh I see. And um how many floors do we have to climb to get there?”

He chuckled. “Well it’s in a separate building to the palace. Generals and Lieutenants get the best accommodations right after the Harbingers. We stay in the palace. Your quarters are in the building connected to the palace and is on the same level as this one. This is all to make your job as easy as possible. You are the future of the Fatui after all. You and Dottore as well as our other researchers are sure to be the final push to lead our nation to victory!” He spoke passionately.

What I’ve gathered from him so far was that his young age is likely to be what makes him have such a lively and talkative personality. He cares a lot about Snezhnaya and I've heard the 11th is the Fatuis weapon. His sole purpose is to eliminate. Childe seemed fairly friendly though.

“Speaking of Dottore… He seemed really mad? Was he really mad?” I asked.

“Oh yes. Definitely. He's a little sensitive when it comes to competition for his position or his intelligence. And his first reaction is to be angry. You might want to let him cool off for a bit and try not to annoy him for the next couple of days. I heard some nasty threats coming from him when he stormed off into his lab.”

I winced. Well there goes any chance of having a civil relationship with him. I hoped he wouldn’t take it out too hardly on me.

My mind was still worrying about whatever it was the Tsaritsa saw. What on earth could have possibly happened between Dottore and I that would surprise the Tsaritsa so much? The only thing I could come up with was him killing me. The archon had given me a higher rank than I was expecting too. This made me feel less anxious about my position. I was more than just an assistant now and if the queen really had taken a liking to me then killing me would upset her.

Once we'd reached the accommodation building, I was led to my room which happened to be the first door. Everything i would need including toiletries, extra clothing, paper and pen and towels would be inside. Childe left swiftly leaving me to explore my new home.

It was definitely a generous room. Bigger than I anticipated and a window displayed another side of the palace gardens. A grey fur rug was placed in the middle of the room and only now had I picked up on the Fatui's love for fur pieces. The bed was large. Definitely too big for one person. Four wooden, carved posters rose to the ceiling and the bed was tidied neatly with many cushions provided. It was very luxurious.

A desk was fitted against the wall beneath the windows giving me a nice view and a vanity was on the wall opposite the bed. I had been informed that there was an ensuite bathroom, various clothing in my wardrobe, and a schedule on the desk. Food would be brought to the room upon request.

The quiet was very much appreciated. I had so much to think about tonight. I only hoped tomorrow would be a little better.

~~~

Dottores POV:

I need sleep. If one more person approaches me asking about the insufferable girl, I would blow the place up. Whose brilliant idea was it to bring her here? Oh that’s right, my idiotic clone who I’d already had the pleasure of disassembling. Perhaps I’d put him back together again only to drown him in an acid bath.

I had no idea what to do. Something was definitely wrong with me. At first I blamed it on the stress but I’ve never felt anger to this level before. I could only admit to myself that I was jealous. I mean, I’ve been the Tsaritsa’s loyal servants for years now and Y/N strolls in after 2 days of being held captive only to wrap everyone around her little finger. That’s not even the worst part. I can’t get it out of my head. I can’t get… Her out of my head.

No matter what I do, I only receive the blandest reaction from her. She’s the type of test subject I would have a whale of time dissecting and studying. Earlier when she nearly spoke the Tsaritsa’s name, it was my first time studying her up close. Everything about her would make the perfect robot assistant. However at the same time, I wanted her alive. I’ve never been so confused in my life. My mind is conflicted and whilst usually I could come up with a solution immediately I was going in circles about this girl.

An idea. Yes. It’s genius. Perfect! I’ll force her to work so hard over the next couple of days until she finally snaps. I need to see it for myself. I need to see what she’s capable of and how she thinks and what she feels. I need to see the fire in her eyes. How exciting. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this curious about an experiment.

Tomorrow we will head to her old lab. I will go in person in hopes of finding something that will give me a peek inside her head. A diary or log perhaps. That way we can still complete our main objective whilst I continue with my research on her. Thanks to the Tsaritsa’s palm reading today I already have a few new things to add to the fact file I was compiling on her.

I didn’t understand Y/N at all. The moment I thought I understood her person, she breaks another layer of character and I’m proven wrong again. Today when she apologized to me. She apologized! It was sincere and gentle. The only way I could respond was to dismiss it entirely. Honestly the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. All my previous assistants could hardly compile a coherent sentence in my presence yet she speaks to me as if I’m just another person. It was out of the ordinary but I found myself… Well, tolerating it I suppose. I didn’t hate it. This is new for me. I need to write this down.

I scrambled for the file I’d left on the desk near the shelves we stood beside earlier in the day. A memory of Y/N’s excited demeanor when she found the Mitichurl heart sprung up in my mind. That was a new expression I hadn’t seen from her yet. She didn’t smile or make any obvious changes in expression but her eyes were gleaming with curiosity. I was stunned for a second when she’d asked me how I’d done it. She was so bold and intrigued. She even complimented the discovery. I couldn’t help but feel a bit happy at the gesture.

As I said, I need sleep. With all the recent occurrences, I wouldn’t get much however. I’ve never seen the Tsaritsa react like that in all my years here. It frightened me a little. Especially at the fact that something she saw included me in it. I’d need my sleeping pills tonight.

Chapter Text

The next morning I was dressed early and making my way to the lab. I decided I wouldn’t let Dottore push me around especially after he went out of his way to hold me hostage and introduce me as his assistant to the Queen and court. If he was angry and jealous, that was his problem.

It turns out my schedule was pretty simple. I had specified work hours and I’d have to submit reports of our progress. The timetable indicated important dates in the year and the names of important people in the Fatui including the Harbingers, the finance department and the healers.

Apparently there were only around a dozen or so Generals in this building but it didn’t matter much to me as making friends was the bottom of my priorities. 

The weather was calm and settled and the sun was out; a nice change to the constant snowing of the last couple of days. It felt as if the weather had uplifted the mood in the palace and as I walked through the corridors with my new mask and uniform, Agents and maids nodded their respect to me. 

Unfortunately my hopes for a good, efficient work day came crashing down the moment I stepped through the door of the lab. 

“You are LATE!” yelled Dottore as he appeared through the door of a room I hadn’t identified yet. In his hand was his precious pocket watch that snapped loudly as he marched towards me.

“Actually I’m early according to my schedule.”

Dottore raised his hand and gripped the air in frustration before he relaxed, ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms. “First rule of working here. I decide your work hours, not that useless sheet of nonsense. Are we clear, darling?”

“No.”

His body went rigid. “No?”

“No, we are not clear. I was brought here against my will and forced to work for you with the only other option being becoming a disgusting experiment and dying. I am a human being who requires the necessary basic essential needs to live and function efficiently therefore I will arrive here and leave here at the times of which my schedule dictates,” I stated firmly. This man needed to be put in his place if he expected my help at all.

“But-“

I raised a hand to stop him and continue myself. “Threaten me all you like Dottore but Her Highness expects us to work together to produce only the finest results. She’s expecting great things from you, and I will help you achieve that as long as you treat me in the way I should be treated. I mean this in the most respectful way possible. Please be considerate of how dire the situation is at the moment.”

His jaw hung open in shock. I concluded that this was the very first time anyone had ever spoken to him in this way. It took him a good minute to recover. He took a step back, rubbing his jaw in what appeared to be confusion. 

So I waited. My predictions were that he would resort to anger and scolding but only time could tell. Eventually he threw his hands up in defeat as if he’d lost to a silent battle in his head.

“May I speak now?” He asked in a low, unidentifiable tone.

“Please, go ahead.”

“I don’t know who you think you are love, but no one has ever spoken to me in such a blatantly blunt and senseless way,” he took slow steps forward till our chests were centimeters apart and his masked face was tilted down, inches from mine. Right now, I was immensely grateful for the mask I wore. I tried to maintain steady breathing. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt seeing as you clearly do not know how to show your superiors respect. I’ll also grant you the work hours you schedule details because your boldness and courage is… admirable. However, if you step out of line or even attempt to go against my orders, not even the goddamn queen could stop my wrath.”

My jaw tensed as I felt his murderous intent.

“Do you have any more demands or are we done here?” He asked, preparing to turn away.

“Actually…” I started.

“Enlighten me.”

“I’d appreciate it if you referred to me by my actual name rather than pet name. Is that possible?” 

“No. Now follow me, we are leaving.” He stated simply.

I suppose I deserved that.

He grabbed his white suit jacket and slipped a few things to the inner pockets before heading for the door to which I stood in the way of.

“What are you doing? Move.” 

“Where are we going?” I asked firmly.

He sighed. “To your old lab! Exciting, yes? Now stop wasting time. Our carriage should be waiting already.”

I allowed him to get through and followed behind him as he led the way to the exit. “But why are we going there?”

“To retrieve the core, love. Keep up.”

“Don’t you think your clone would’ve found it if it was in my lab?” I said.

He stopped walking. “You mean it’s not in your lab?”

“No, of course not. What do you take me for? An idiot?"

"Well, yes. I thought that was obvious," he said looking down at me with a smile. 

I would've laughed but I'm petty and refuse to give him the pleasure of hearing such a delightful sound. 

Instead I face palmed. "Ok you know what, we need to go to my lab anyway. I need to retrieve my notes and journal. Also there are some key materials needed for this that I have stored down there. We can get the core after. I don't suppose it's possible that we could go riding instead of in a carriage?"

We resumed our pace towards the exit. "Why on earth would we do that?"

"Well I think it'll be faster and there's not that much to carry. We could be back here by noon. Is that not a better arrangement?" I asked hopefully.

The truth is, this was the most perfect thing that could've happened today. If we went riding I could establish a path out of the palace and find out where the horses are kept. That way if I wanted to escape, I would know which direction to head in to reach my lab, gather my things and flee the nation. Not to mention the fact that I really didn't want to be cooped up in a carriage with this man alone. 

“I suppose you're right. It’s been a while since I last went riding. Now that I think about it, when was the last time? Hm… Ah yes! The other harbingers and I were out hunting in the woods chasing down traitors. Good times, good times.” He mumbled.

What on earth… I cannot understand these people. 

I made a mental note of all the turns we took and slowly developed a map in my mind. This would be extremely useful for the map I would draw up later. Once we were out, a strong gust of wind billowed in our direction. The mask protected my face from the cold but I still felt the chill in my bones despite the sun being out. A carriage had already been prepared for us by a pale shaky boy who flinched at the sight of us. Ah wait till he finds out he arranged everything for nothing. Poor boy.

“You there. Get rid of this carriage immediately and get us two of your finest horses. Be quick about it or I’ll have you strapped to my surgical table for dissection.”

I couldn’t help glaring at Dottore through my mask because this man could not converse without slipping in an unnecessary threat. The shaky man whimpered before yelling orders to the helpers nearby and scurrying off to retrieve our horses. 

“I can feel you glaring~” spoke Dottore with his head still facing forward. 

“Did you really have to traumatize that boy? Would it kill you to ask for something nicely?” 

“No but it might kill you if you keep talking,” he said. 

He took that better than I thought he would. We were making progress, good. 

“So, how do you plan on escaping? Going North or West?” He asked rocking back on his heels as we waited for the horses.

It hadn’t exactly registered to me what he’d said until he faced me with a little “Hm?”

My blood ran cold. Colder than it already was, that is. There’s no way I could’ve made it that obvious. I mean I wasn’t even planning to do it now anyway so how could he have known. 

“Aw cat got your tongue, darling?” He purred. “Did you think I was completely thick? Nobody goes out riding in this weather.”

A twisted sneer appeared on his lips as he chuckled at my foolishness.

“If you knew what I was planning, why didn’t you just reject my suggestion of riding?” I asked genuinely curious.

“I was hoping you would try it, then I could hunt you down like a lost bunny in the woods. Just like the old times,” he said wistfully. 

I gulped. Don’t show fear. This is what he wants. Stay confident Y/N.

“So are we still going riding?” I asked like the fool I am.

Dottore found that hilarious. He laughed heartily, even clutching his stomach. For an absolute maniac, his laugh was weirdly attractive. At the time I hadn’t realised the way my heart fluttered a little at the sound. 

“Oh you're cute, you are. Yes we are still going riding but only because I know you won’t try anything idiotic now,” he said pointedly looking at me. “Also… I’m feeling a little energized today.”

God this man was so confusing. Hot and cold. Everything he does is so unpredictable and confusing. I can’t wrap my head around it. This seemed like what a good mood looks like and earlier today after our mini argument, his reaction was still way more contained than I anticipated. I suppose I got lucky. If he wasn’t in such a good mood, I worry what the outcome would have been.

Right on cue, the terrified boy brought forward two of the most elegant stallions I’d ever seen. One was chocolate brown with luscious black locks, and the other was pristine white like a freshly ironed shirt. The brown stallion neighed, trotting towards me. It felt like I was chosen.

“Hello there,” I whispered, running my hand over its neck. It was so big. I wondered how on earth I’d even get on without struggling. “Excuse me? What’s the name of this stallion?”

The stable boy was paralyzed to the spot looking utterly terrified that I’d acknowledged him. I raised an eyebrow at him before he cleared his throat and opened his mouth to reply.

“Why is this important? We don’t have all day Y/N.” Dottore rudely interrupted.

“No but we have enough time. Let the boy speak,” I answered. 

The stable boy's jaw dropped open at our interaction. Once again, I raised an eyebrow at him and gestured for him to continue. 

“H-his name is Bruno, Ma’am,” the stable boy stuttered.

“Bruno. Hm. It suits you,” I spoke to the horse. “Well then shall we get going Sir?”

Dottore was watching me with his arms crossed. I hate that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking but I hoped my mask concealed my own thoughts just as well.

“Yes… We shall.” He responded, sounding distracted. 

The both of us made our way round to the saddle however whilst he got on with ease, I could only stand there and try to understand how anyone expected me to get on to this horse when the saddle was almost at the same level as my chest.

"What's the issue now?! We have to go!" Yelled Dottore from his place on the horse. 

"Well uh…" I said embarrassingly. "I cant reach."

"I can go fetch a stool for you if you'd like ma'am," piped up the stable boy.

Dottore groaned and hopped off his saddle. "No you won't. We. Don't. Have. Time."

The stable boy took a shaky step back as Dottore came up behind me. His hands found their way around my waist and lifted me up till I was able to easily put one leg over and sit comfortably on the saddle. The feel of his hands lingered on my body in a way I was unsure of how to feel.

"Sorted. You are forbidden to speak for the next 30 minutes as punishment for delaying our departure," Dottore said as he got back on his horse. 

I don't think he realised what he had just done and how that action might be mistaken for something completely different. I glanced at the stable boy whose mouth was back in an 'O' shape. I internally face palmed. This would be the talk of the palace by the time we got back and I was dreading it. 

Without any heads up, Dottore led the horse forward, leaving me behind in a flurry of kicked up snow.  I needed to pay attention to the surroundings whilst making it as discreet as possible. Quickly, I caught up to Dottore until we were galloping side by side through the dirt path of the enormous, snow covered forest. 

Honestly? Despite all that had happened, I felt freer than ever. I’d learnt to ride in my childhood in Fontaine and had always been fond of it. But this? It was like a scene out of a fairy tail. I felt like a runaway princess. I couldn’t help removing the mask from my face and feeling the air rush past me, cooling my skin. Rays of sunlight peeked through the trees creating a beautiful scene before us. I’d completely forgotten about mapping the path because the feeling this gave me couldn’t be ignored. I felt a smile rise on my lips as I inhaled the smell of fresh grass. 

Only now had I remembered the man who rode by my side, I hoped to god he didn’t catch that smile.

~~~

Dottore’s POV:

She smiled. I don’t know what came over me at that moment but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I caught movement in the corner of my eye earlier only to see she’d removed the mask and for the first time since we’d met, I felt like I was seeing her. The girl I was trying to see from the beginning. Underneath the expressionless mask. I was starting to regret ever being curious about her because now every time I closed my eyes, I saw the smile that graced those lips and the way the corner of her eyes crinkled. The way her eyes glittered as they did when she’d asked me about the heart in the lab. 

What is wrong with me?! Why is any of this important? All I wanted to understand was why she had her own behavior pattern and why manipulating her fear was impossible! I only wanted to figure her out and how to control her. So why do I feel like this? I could’ve sworn I felt my heart constrict for a second. Good god! She hadn’t poisoned me, had she? I’d have to check this out later. I’m certainly too young to have any major heart problems. 

Focus on the objective at hand Dottore. You can record this all later. Right now, I needed to get my hands on that core and see for myself if she’s all talk or not. We were nearing the opening that signified the end of the forest. Beyond that was the frozen Heart Lake. Her lab was situated in a secluded area north of the lake, near the abandoned church. It was an awfully remote location; completely hidden from plain sight and not another living person for miles. It made me wonder why she surrounded herself with solitude. Even the Tsaritsa had said something about her being ‘a lonely child.’ An orphan too… interesting. I’d have to do a background check on her. I wonder if she pushed people away for the same reason I did…

Gah! Quit getting distracted, Dottore. We have more important things to worry about. 

Here it was. The exit of the forest. As the sunlight expanded on our way out, I couldn’t help glancing over at her. I’m not sure why this was my first thought but I found myself completely unregretful in doing so because I witnessed beautiful awe appear on her pretty face.

~~~

Y/N’s POV:

Holy shit. What I was seeing right now was dazzling. You’d think I hadn’t been living here for 4 years now. I really needed to get outside more because this made me feel all sorts. Alluring, untouched snow carpeted the ground around a frozen lake in the shape of a heart. Bruno slowed down as we trotted down the hill, allowing me to take in the sight. The sun had been blanketed by the clouds but it only added to the scene. Hills upon hills rolled over in pure white and a deep forest which I now recognized as the Green Thorn Grove sat in peace behind the view. 

Green Thorn Grove was the forest that led to the abandoned church I used as a landmark to locate my underground lab. I had no idea how close it would be to the palace. I’d picked the location specifically because of its distance from people. That way I could experiment to my heart's content without worrying about the safety of nearby civilians. 

As we neared the entrance to the grove, I leaned forward to catch my reflection in the lake. What caught my attention instead were the dark clouds gathering in the sky, likely preparing to snow us in. I pointed to the sky after glancing to my left at Dottore who only nodded as he motioned to speed up. We galloped deep into the forest as our surroundings darkened. 

Chapter Text

The trees were thicker, blocking out any sunlight. Dottore suggested we slow down and stay close. He seemed to know which direction to go so I didn’t object. I studied our surroundings cautiously. Despite how close it was to my lab, I’d avoided coming through here at all costs. 

There were many mysteries surrounding this forest. It wasn’t called the Green Thorn Grove for nothing. They say that the abandoned church was burned down long ago and all survived but one little girl who supposedly haunts the forest, controlling the thorny vines and bushes. People rarely came out of this forest sane. The darkness and the eerie quiet was the perfect mix to throw someone into a living nightmare. Suddenly I was glad Dottore was close. Not that I believed the stories of course.

“This is as far as I know. The maps of this area are very outdated. Your turn to be useful. Lead the way,” ordered Dottore. The church was obscured by moss and overgrown vines. Much of it was charred and broken down… So it really has burned to the ground. 

I knew the direction from this point on. My lab was directly north east of the church. We set off slowly at first, but quickly picked up the pace as the atmosphere grew colder and darker. About half way along, I felt the first rain drop. My hood was up in an instant because one thing about Snezhnaya was that snow fell often but rain fell hard. It didn’t matter how thick the trees were. 

The rain came down in sheets. Dottore was soaked within seconds and I wasn’t afraid to admit that if I looked in his direction, the murderous glare he was sending from beneath his mask was enough to make me curl up in a ball and die. 

“You are going to die for this Y/N. We both know this wouldn’t have happened if you had just listened to me and hurried up.” 

I could hardly hear him over the sound of the rain. A bolt of thunder flashed, lighting up the dim forest. I couldn’t help but flinch a little at the familiar sound. All I could think about was the moment I was supposed to be tumbling to my death. The smell of the rain was so familiar. My throat constricted as I blinked hard to make myself forget. Thankfully the darkness concealed my expression. If Dottore knew what scared me then he no doubt would use it against me. I could not afford that. 

Eventually, we reached our destination. The lab was essentially a bunker and as the Fatui had so rudely blown their way in, the trap door detached from its hinges and was lying on the floor some distance away. Luckily the bushes concealing the entrance had protected it from the rain. 

“It’s down here. Let’s hope the rain hasn't gotten in yet,” I said.

Leaving the stallions outside, we descended the staircase splattered with drying raindrops. It was a relief to see no flooding had occurred. That relief dissipated upon laying my eyes on the state of the lab. This room was my pride and joy. Many of my most successful feats happened in here. My eyes couldn’t help but wander to the bloodied spot on the floor where I so vividly remember the death of my subordinate. He would forever remain in my memory as the most reliable and trustworthy assistant. May he Rest In Peace. 

Another smudge of blood caught my eye on the back wall. Ah… That would be my own blood. I looked away, not wanting to relive the memory.

The rest of the lab was no better. Smashed test tubes, overturned tables, broken tools. It was painful to look at. At least they had the decency to remove all the bodies left in the aftermath of the fight. 

“So this is your place huh? Smells funny,” said Dottore with a sniff. 

“Yeah well someone died in here no thanks to you.”

I walked to the back room where the door had also been blown off. It seems even after I went unconscious they continued to search the lab for anything useful. I picked up a towel from the room I used as my locker of sorts. Extra clothes, towels and a sink with toiletries in the cupboard above it were still intact. Sighing, I left the room in a low mood. 

As I made my way back into the main room, Dottore was standing in a far corner studying something in his hand. Walking over to him, I tapped his shoulder and handed him the towel in silence. I peaked around his arm to see what he’d been looking at only to widen my eyes and snatch it right out of his hand.

“I didn’t know you were arrested Y/N,” he smirked evilly. “Naughty girl.”

“Stop snooping through my things please. There are more important subjects at hand.” I was kind of touchy about this subject but of course he didn’t get the message. 

“So what was it for? There’s no way it was something small if you got a permanent mark on your criminal record. Let me see~” he said, snatching it out of my hand and raising it much too high for me to reach.

“Dottore, it’s really not that big of a deal. Can we please focus?” 

“‘Arrest warrant for Y/N L/N… Blah, blah, blah. Ah ha! Here it is. Illegal experimentation without an issued license? Ugh boring,” decided Dottore. 

I’m glad he thought so because it made the front pages of the Fontaine newspapers. Luckily, they didn’t go into detail about how bad the damage was… They literally exiled me from the region because of it. Especially after many complaints against me. Not my brightest moment, I’ll admit. 

He dried his hair and clothes with the towel but it could only do so much. I was hoping he might take off the mask for whatever reason but it was to no avail. Dottore continued to snoop around as the sound of rain hammered down from above. 

“You can just take a seat… Uh somewhere. There’s not much left in one piece. I’ll gather my stuff and we can get out of here,” I spoke as I opened the safe in the wall. 

“No. We wait for the rain to stop. That’s what we’ll do. Don’t forget your place, doll.”

Again with the pet names. I thought we were progressing after he’d used my name before! Whatever. He clearly had absolutely no idea how to talk to women. Nor did he have any respect for them either. 

My journals containing essential notes and observations were packed into the satchel on my shoulder. All I needed now were the materials. Just as I was about to shut the safe, something caught my eye in the back. Dottore was calling me from behind however I was too distracted by the awfully familiar yet forgotten notes I pulled out from the safe. 

The first page was a messy drawing of a vision with detailed labels around it. My electro vision specifically. For the life of me, I couldn’t seem to remember what purpose this served until I flipped over to the next page. By now Dottore was standing right behind me.

“Don’t you ignore me now Y/N. Huh? What are you looking at?” Asked Dottore as he leaned over my shoulder to get a closer look.

His face was right there. So close. His chest was merely centimeters away from my back. Suddenly I froze. Whenever he got near, I always felt unsettled. Like perhaps he might wip out a knife out of his sleeve and stab me with it.

 I could smell the mint and lemon on him. It was so fresh and I realised he was probably the type that actually looked after himself and his appearance. Well. That was debatable seeing as one, he’d admitted to not sleeping for ten days so I can imagine what his eye bags look like and two he wears a mask 24/7 which could suggest he’s purposefully trying to hide his face. Maybe he was mortifyingly ugly.

I turned to look down at the notes in my hand and suddenly it all came back to me. The night I burned my arms and hands after the experiments on my vision. These notes detailed what went down and what the procedure was. 

“I was trying to find a way to harness energy from the elemental energy of my Electro vision. That’s when it reacted explosively and burned me. Even the notes are singed in the edges. After that, I put the idea away because it sort of traumatized me…” I trailed off. 

“Let me see them,” ordered Dottore, sounding distracted. He took the notes from my hand and it felt as if his brain was churning the information, turning it over and coming up with ideas.

He made sounds of acknowledgment as he flipped through page after page. I only watched in silence.

“This… Has potential. As much as I hate to admit, this idea has never occurred to me before. Then again, I’ve never liked to associate or bring myself near such ridiculous devices. We could always test this with a delusion instead. Perhaps it’ll have a better outcome. Not to mention that it’ll be safer in my lab than here,” he mumbled. It seemed as if he were talking to himself, completely forgetting my presence here but Dottore looked up at me awaiting a reply. “Well? Do you want to try it?”

I was still processing the fact that he had just asked for my opinion and acknowledged one of my experiments. All in the same 5 minutes. I couldn’t believe this. If he could actually test this with me, I could get a genius’s input and we could truly make it work. For a long time I’d admired Dottore’s feats after hearing about his work in Sumeru and then later as a Harbinger. In no way did I approve of his lack of care for human life but I didn’t necessarily have to like him to look up to his smarts. 

“Uh yes I would like to try it if possible,” I answered quickly. 

“Pack it up then. What’s left to take?”

“All I need is Void liquid residue, noctilucous jade, magical crystal residue, and crystal cores,” I answered listing them off on my fingers. 

“Alright forget the last three, we’ve got all that. What is void liquid residue? I don’t believe I’ve heard of it before.” Dottore replied.

“Oh yes I’d expected you hadn’t. It comes from the Abyss after all. That was the final piece to the puzzle. It rejuvenated the core and reset it, until it worked like brand new.”

Dottore was mute. I didn’t know what on earth was going on in that brain of his but it seemed to be turning cogs. 

“And how did you get this material?” He finally asked.

“Well I retrieved it myself on an expedition down there with a colleague of mine when I worked as a spy,” I said with a shrug.

“You. Went down to the Abyss. In person? All to get this liquid residue you speak of?” Questioned Dottore.

I didn’t quite understand why he was struggling to comprehend this. “Yes, I went in person. And no I didn’t go specifically to retrieve the residue. That was only a bonus. I didn’t even know it would work until much later when I began my proper research into Khaenrian technology. I’d saved a large jar of it and once I’d read up about the history of the nation, I decided it was worth a shot to infuse a chaos core with it and some other materials to provide energy,” I explained.

“So the trick to it was a jar of sludge from the Abyss? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” he yelled. More at himself than me. Dottore stormed off muttering under his breath. That was until he came right back and asked to see the residue. His breathing was heavy with anger. I didn’t really see what his issue was. No one could have known, especially if they’d never been to the Abyss before. Besides, his research as far as I was aware never began in the Abyss. An article I’d read about him said his objective was to create a person with the abilities to rival a god. 

I led him to a wall on one side of the room. To anyone else it would look like a wall however on the other side was a storage room filled with materials, concoctions and creations. It appears that the Dottore clone hadn’t discovered it. Pulling out the key wrapped around my neck, I dropped to the ground and shuffled to the tiny keyhole in the bottom right corner of the wall. The wall puffed with steam before opening the heavy doors that were made of reinforced steel and pressurized shut. 

We quickly made haste and walked through the rows and rows of shelves of materials varying from butterfly wings to shimmering nectar. The back wall was our destination as a custom safe I’d designed held the rarer materials I needed to keep safe. 

A translucent blue wall that flickered like a hologram was the barrier between us and the jar. 

“What is this?” Asked Dottore, bringing his hand up to the blue screen.

“Don’t touch it!” I gasped, grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him back. “You touch it with your bare hands and not even your bones would be intact. It’s a force field created with lumenspar energy. Very unstable and dangerous which is precisely why I used it to protect these materials.”

“Lumenspar? The stuff from the Chasm? Interesting. How are you supposed to deactivate it?”

“You don’t.” I said simply. Only now had I realised my hands still held his. I’d never let go of something faster in my life. Luckily I wasn’t the type to get embarrassed about such things and he didn’t seem to notice. 

I slipped my glove off of my right hand and typed in a passcode to the small wall safe containing the key to bypassing the lumenspar wall. A glowing white bracelet. Something Yelan had shown me. Slipping the bracelet on, I poked my hand through the wall with ease and the bracelet turned a brilliant blue, the color of lumenspar. It protected whatever it touched from the effects and allowed me to retrieve the jar safely. 

I handed the jar to Dottore who had watched me carefully the entire time.

“And you designed this mechanism?” He asked out of the blue.

“I did. Impressed, are we?” I joked.

“Keep spouting nonsense, and I’ll trap you here and take the jar with me.”

That shut me up. 

"I don't suppose I could get one of these?" He asked smiling at me sheepishly.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Dream on."

He chuckled and I couldn't help but find him adorable in that moment.

Dottore held up the jar to the light. It generally just looked like a bit of sludge but once you look at it for long enough, that’s when the magic takes place. I could tell immediately when he saw it as he looked back down at me with pursed lips. What he was probably seeing was constellations of stars sparkling at him from the dark. That’s what made it catch my eye when I was down there. I couldn’t resist taking some.

“How much of this did you need to restart the core?” He asked quickly.

“Only a drop surprisingly. The jar is almost full, we should be able to make quite a lot from it. Are you well stocked on chaos cores?”

“Yes. Yes we are. We need to get back right now. This can’t wait. What you’ve found, is well… Incredible. You might’ve just set us up for victory, darling. We need to start right away. You need to show me exactly what you did and how you did it,” he spoke fast and excitedly. 

“Hold your horses, Dottore. We still need to go get the core I’d already made. Lord Childe told me Lady Sandrone worked with automations. If we give her the core, she can link it up with a Ruin Guard and test its abilities. Wouldn’t that be wiser? That way we could adjust some things in the proportions of materials.”

“Right. Yes. We’ll do that. It’s been a long time since we’ve made this much progress in such a short amount of time. If Signora succeeds in retrieving the Anemo Archons gnosis, the Fatui will be unstoppable. Knowing the queen, she’ll likely host a ball in celebration. Can you imagine the possibilities? All the praise too! Celestia will have no idea what hit them…” he chuckled darkly. Dottore seemed so excited.

I wanted to be too but I couldn’t help feeling nervous. At this point, he no longer had any use for me. He would get the core from me and leg it. My life’s work would be claimed by another and I’ll be disposed of, left to die completely anonymously without leaving a single memory of myself behind. I suppose that was supposed to happen all along and I could try to escape before they got rid of me but at this point it all seemed like too much work.

“Oi, what are you looking so glum for? You should be happy your work is being recognized. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got promoted. What’s the matter with you, hm?” He snapped.

“Nothing. You're right. I am happy. I guess I might be catching something from the cold weather. Let’s get going then shall we?”

Dottore put down the jar on the nearby shelf and crossed his arms. He faced me and contemplated something. 

“You think I’m gonna steal this and get rid of you, don’t you?”

I couldn’t mask my surprise. He read my mind. I hadn’t even said anything that could’ve indicated it. What was I expecting? Dottore’s the smartest in Teyvat as far as I was concerned.

“Can you blame me for thinking that way? Its happened before. People tend to underestimate and undermine females in this field. They think we are silly and less capable.” I sighed. “You're a Harbinger, Dottore. You basically rule Teyvat with all the power and people you control. Me? I’m replaceable. So if you're going to get rid of me, I'd rather you get it over and done with."

~~~

Dottore's POV:

There it is again. That strange heartache I felt from earlier. It felt more uncomfortable this time however. I honestly didn't know what to say to her because once upon a time this was my plan. That was right before the Tsaritsa thought it was a good idea to use her as my test to prove myself. If I killed her now, I would never hear the end of it from the queen. 

But it wasn't just that anymore. Since the moment we stepped into here, Y/N had proven herself to me. I was skeptical of her achievements before but after seeing her energy experiment notes and her custom designed lumenspar wall, I was feeling maybe just a little bit impressed. Not to mention the fact that she had been to the Abyss and come out completely unscathed. 

She was starting to have some value in my eyes. I wanted to see what more she was capable of and I realised now that this was more than just wanting to understand what makes her different from anyone else I'd encountered. I mean, no one had ever stood up to me the way she did this morning. I had to admit, it was cute watching her demand things from me. It felt wrong to deny her of them after the boldness she'd displayed. If she were anyone else, they'd have been disemboweled long ago.

Y/N is no longer my hostage. She's my Second-in-command which means she represents me. After sleeping on it, I felt like this wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. If she could keep up with me, then I might've met my match. No one has ever been able to rival my talent yet she has created things that had never even occurred to me before. 

Weirdly enough, i didn't like this look of hopelessness on her. I much preferred her curious eyes and the way she had a concentrated face when thinking about something important.

I could only ignore what was in front of me for so long. Maybe I could give her a chance. However, she'd have to prove herself even more if she wanted to gain my approval which is where my schemes will begin. I want to see how far I can push her, to see the limits to her potential. This was going to be fun.

And so my only response to her worries was a laugh. 

"I might have a reputation for having no regard for human life but I'm not thick. As much as I'd like to get rid of you and your time wasting tendencies, the queen has recognised you as an asset to the Fatui. Do you understand why I can't just throw you to the curb now?" 

~~~

Y/N's POV:

So I was right about me becoming less disposable after the Tsaritsa's recognition of me. That certainly eased my worries and I sensed no ill intentions from Dottore at the moment. 

He picked up the jar and handed it to me, stalking off ahead and readying to leave. On his way past me he said:

"Besides, we still have to test your energy experiment, don't we Doc?" 

My heart beat increased at the gesture because he was essentially suggesting that aside from the facts that he had to keep me alive, he also sort of wanted to. Was this character development I was seeing? I couldn't help the small smile rising on my lips as I hurried after him. 

The jar and all my notes were packed and ready to go in the satchel. The rain had slowly begun to move away from the area and the forestry outside looked brighter. 

As we headed to the door, my eye caught on two blades lying disposed in the corner. My double blades. 

Kneeling down to pick them up, I studied them for any damage. They were chipped and blunt now. Mostly unusable and the once metallic black finish was now dull and scratched. 

"Leave them. You can design new ones later; our materials are more durable. Besides those look like they were bought from a toy shop, can't imagine why you'd picked them," commented Dottore. 

And he was back to his normal snarky self. Shouldn't have expected anything less. Once he'd left me alone in the room, I glanced around one final time. 

It really was a shame to leave behind something that had become so comfortable and homely for me. I've never felt like anywhere could be called home because I was always moving from place to place, sometimes not of my own volition. 

This bunker was bought and renovated by me with the money I'd earned as a spy for the Ministry of Civil Affairs. It was special because of the fact that I built it up from scratch and learned a lot about the world from in here. I wished it could've been different but if it were, then much of what I've learned recently about Teyvat and visions would be non-existent. This was the only way. 

The lights were switched off by myself on the way out and the heavy metal door was closed as much as it could be with the damage. 

"Let's go Y/N."

I nodded, skipped up the stairs and walked over to Bruno. Here we go again. 

"Uh… Dottore? Can I get some help over here please?" I asked, turning around.

He sighed before getting off his own horse and making his way to me. Movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. A buzzing insect glowing red was approaching Dottore and my eyes widened as I recognised the creature. 

I gasped. "Dottore watch out!"

"Ow… What the fuck was that?" He asked as he rubbed the side of his neck. It was too late and we both knew it. Dottore spotted the red insect escaping the scene and turned to me with a tight jaw. "Shit."

He had been bitten by none other than the Scarlett Nightmare. A flying insect with many similarities to a firefly the only difference being it glowed a bloody red and stung like a bitch. The affects of the sting? Unconsciousness and reliving a vivid nightmare where pain could really be felt however it was all imagined. 

I guess we won't be getting back by noon after all. 

Chapter Text

"Shit, shit, shit , SHIT!" yelled Dottore as he held his head in his hands. 

I ran towards him hoping I could keep him conscious till we could find somewhere to sit him down.

"Dottore you know what that was right? You're gonna pass out soon so let's move to that tree over there. Come on," I said, pulling his arm forward with me. 

He was starting to sway and he wasn't responding. I threw his arm over my shoulder and put my arm around his waist to steady him but his weight and height was proving difficult for me to handle. We just about made it to the tree when his breathing started to sound laboured and his legs collapsed beneath him. 

"Fantastic. I get to drag you across the grass to the tree now. Don't kill me, please," I muttered under my breath as I looped my arms under his and pulled him till his back was leaning on the tree and he was in a sitting position. 

Now what to do. Come on Y/N, you are a doctor originally. Think of a solution. That's easier said than done seeing as there isn't a known cure with immediate effects for a Scarlet Nightmare. Wait a second…

"I'm so sorry Dottore, once again please don't kill me."

Unbuttoning his white jacket, I searched through its pockets. I remembered he'd thrown a few things in here before leaving. Perhaps there was something useful. 

Dottore groaned in pain as his head tilted back and his hands balled into fists. His teeth were clenched and jaw was tense. What nightmare could possibly have brought him such agony? I read somewhere that some nightmares are often disturbing memories relived. I never liked seeing anyone in pain even if it was someone as cruel as Dottore. I needed to help him and fast. 

My hand wrapped around a brown leather patch that was rolled up. The sound of liquid sloshing and glass tinkling against one another came from inside. My heart skipped a beat at the progression. Of course he would bring antidotes! I had to hand it to him. Dottore was a careful and well thought out man. 

Immediately I untied the strings holding it together to reveal a set of syringes containing different colors of liquids. Some changed color in the light and others were filled only half way. There was no way you could distinguish between these unless you were the ones who made them. 

“I take it all back, Dottore. You’re an absolute idiot. Do better.”

My nerves were getting the better of me and my hands were shaking. Please remain calm, brain. This is the one time I need you to focus. I hadn’t really used my medical knowledge for years now. I sort of left it behind to pursue what really interested me and the stuff I learned about medicine was all to better my understanding of wild materials and their properties. 

Glancing up, beads of sweat ran down Dottore’s throat and he was breathing hard. Do I take his mask off to help him breathe better? I’m so conflicted! Ok, one thing at a time. The mask stays on unless he personally takes it off. Now focus on the syringes. 

The most effective antidote to the poison from the sting is… Damn it. I forgot. 

‘This situation cannot possibly get any worse’ is what I thought but the sky said ‘oh it can’ and then it was pouring down. Again. I quickly took my jacket off and put it over Dottore’s shoulders, pulling the hood up in the process. There was no use for both of us getting a cold, besides he’d already been through it once. 

My body covered the leather patch as I began eliminating the antidotes with deductive reasoning. The black, half full liquid was for paralysis and the almost clear one was an anaesthetic. That much I knew. Which only left three more. One yellow, one purple, and one blue. Taking the three out, I decided to test a drop of each on my hand. I’d deal with the consequences later. 

The blue liquid froze over in a circle in the palm of my hand and the purple felt like acid on my skin to which I bit my lip to keep in a scream. I was soaked from head to toe now and freezing. Dottore was still suffering through a nightmare and only one syringe remained. The yellow one.

I let a small droplet fall onto the patch of red skin from the purple liquid test. The yellow liquid evaporated over it, cooling the redness and eliminating any itching. Yes! This was it. This was the Chamomile Formula. A general antidote for wild stings and poisons which meant that the purple liquid was an acid based violet grass poison. Honestly, this guy needs to learn how to trust because the amount of dangerous serums he had in his pocket alone was enough to have anyone running in the opposite direction. 

I wasted no time lifting the syringe to a prominent vein in the side of his neck. Carefully, I held the side of his head to keep him still and injected the liquid, not wasting a single drop. I hated using syringes which was another reason I chose science over medicine but this was important. Not life or death important, but I wanted him to be alright. 

Gradually his breathing slowed and the tension in his shoulders eased. The rain was still falling on us hard but my only worries were that he wakes up soon. I sat patiently by his side and rubbed my arms to create some warmth.

He began to stir a little until he jolted awake, breathing fast. Dottore’s hands on instinct grabbed the front of my shirt pulling me forward as if I were an enemy he needed to strangle. The movement surprised me but it was only natural that his first instinct after witnessing something traumatic was to react violently to the first thing he saw upon waking up. He seemed angry as a muscle in his jaw ticked. 

Slowly and cautiously, I wrapped my hands around his and loosed his grip on my shirt which by now was soaked and likely translucent. Luckily I chose to wear a tank top beneath it due to the cold. 

“Dottore. It’s only me. You were stung by a Scarlet Nightmare and went unconscious. Whatever you saw just now wasn’t real in any way,” I said in an even tone over the rain. 

I pushed his hands into his lap as his jaw relaxed but his mouth turned down in a frown. 

“What the fuck? What…” he started.

Abruptly, he stood up still swaying a little. My jacket fell off his shoulders and onto the ground as he ran a hand through his hair. It seemed he was really shaken. 

Next, he did something I had not anticipated. He ripped the mask off his face and walked into the rain, running a hand down his face. My heart dropped and my legs felt weak after I’d stood up to help him. 

Remember how I said he was hiding a mortifyingly ugly face with eye bags bigger than my satchel? I was so wrong. Wronger than I’ve ever been. Because the man standing before me, with a face now dripping with rain drops and hair slowly getting soaked, was beyond gorgeous.

A scar in the shape of an ‘X’ was displayed over his nose and cheeks but it only enhanced his beauty. If he were a painting, I’d buy it. The contrast between the dark forest and his gleaming red eyes was electrifying. Suddenly, everything that had just happened moments ago was forgotten and my mind was blank. Any cold or discomfort I felt was forgotten because all I was thinking about was him.

Get a damn grip Y/N. The man was clearly processing some trauma. It was not the time to be admiring the way his soaking white shirt was clinging to the muscles on his chest and stomach. 

Yeah, this isn’t working. 

I had no idea whether to say or do something and knowing him, I don’t think he’d like it if I tried to comfort him or ask him to talk about it. So I ripped my eyes away from where he stood and bent down to pick up my jacket and the leather patch holding the syringes.

I walked over to him, holding out the rolled up leather patch. My teeth were chattering, my fingers were numb and I was exhausted. These past few days had been very demanding for me physically, especially after I spent the majority of my time in the lab for the last 4 years, occasionally taking a short walk every other day or so.

Dottore looked down at me. His eyes were red around the edges and glossy as if tears had pooled in his eyes. I saw all sorts of emotions in his marble like irises but for the sake of his pride, I showed no pity or empathy for him. My expression was cold as ever. He took the leather patch from my hand, not breaking eye contact in the process.

He cleared his throat. “How long was I out?”

“Not long. Around 11 minutes or so. Has the antidote helped?”

Dottore swallowed, took a deep breath and nodded. 

“I don’t want to stay here any longer. We are going back to the palace. The core can wait. Are your things still intact?” He asked.

It wasn’t hard to notice the way his hands shook slightly and the way his wary eyes seemed wild and distracted. Dottore’s shoulders were tense and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. I wish I could comfort him but I don’t think he would appreciate it in the way others would. Still, it was nice seeing a vulnerable side to him and he was comfortable enough to let me see it even if he didn’t exactly want to.

“Everything’s intact. We’d better get going now. It seems the weather is only going to get worse from here on out,” I replied, walking over to Bruno.

Dottore followed close behind and once we reached the brown stallion, he lifted me up by the waist with ease as he did before. This time however, he made no show of moving. His hand rested lightly on my hip as he searched my eyes. He stood close enough that I could see the droplets of water caught on his long lashes. Beneath the X scar, were light freckles I’d failed to notice earlier. 

“You're soaked,” he said quietly.

“Now we’re even,” I replied back. 

Dottore was silent. He looked confused and I could see pain in his eyes. Pain and curious questions. To be truthful, I loved the way he looked without the mask; I hoped he never put it on again. I don’t know what this feeling was but I genuinely couldn’t keep my eyes off him. A mental note was made to record this new feeling down later. 

“I don’t do favors so I’m going to say something I’ve never said to anyone out of my own free will. Thank you,” spoke Dottore. 

I smiled gently. “Understood.”

His eyes widened a little bit before he looked away swiftly and cleared his throat. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll-“

“Kill me? I know.” I said as I took his hand in mine and patted it with an amused look on my face. 

“Tch, at least pretend to be scared,” he grumbled before pulling the mask back on and walking over to his horse.

The ride back was quiet but oh so tranquil. The rain had darkened the atmosphere making the hills and forests grey in a weird way. It would’ve looked gloomy but I remembered a painting I’d seen in a museum in Fontaine that depicted imagery similar to this. I’d need a hot bath and a good book to read by the fireplace to relax from today's exhausting affairs. 

Chapter Text

Dottore’s POV:

Well that was humiliating. Never again will I let that woman decide how we travel. If we’d taken carriage, I would’ve been protected. I wouldn’t have had to live through that again… 

A shiver ran down my spine as the memories of my childhood flashed like thunder behind my eyelids. My hands were still shaking, I was still shaken. And Y/N had seen it all. Like I said, utterly humiliating. I expected her to mock me or pity me but all I got was that empty expression after she’d handed me the leather patch - which she had stolen, might I add. I suppose I was grateful. Heck I even thanked her, voluntarily. She didn’t know how lucky she was that I didn’t just slit her throat and leave her corpse drowning in the rain.

We were currently riding back to the palace, galloping through the forest’s dirt path. My mind was clouded and confused. I was completely conflicted about my… feelings. Feelings were something I left behind a long time ago because they disgust me and take up too much space in my body. I need that space to come up with schemes and theories so it was a necessary sacrifice and it’s done me so well so far. But now they were surfacing again. 

Remnants of the nightmare had left their mark on me. My head hurt from the reminder and my jaw ached from clenching my teeth too hard. Not to mention the ever repeating image of Y/N’s smile. That one wasn’t my fault. I know for a fact she tampered with the Chamomile formula. How she could even identify the differences between my own customized concoctions was a mystery to me. Just like she herself was a mystery. 

Upon waking up, I grabbed her aggressively. My heart ached in a strange way at the reminder of the moment. Was this what people called guilt? I didn’t like it at all. I made a mental note to research how to delete it from my system. 

Y/N rode quietly beside me, her breath coming out in puffs of steam in contrast to the cold air. The look of her soaked to the bone and shaking in the cold gave me an uncomfortable feeling. She’d lent me her jacket to protect me from the rain. Was she crazy? I couldn’t understand her for the life of me. It almost seemed like she wanted to help me. That was obviously untrue because nobody could want to help me. 

I didn’t want to take my mask off in my waking but my mind was hurting and the sounds and smells were driving me crazy. I needed to clear my head and the rain helped soothe my burning eyes. I knew she was staring. I hated it. People hid their children from me even when my mask was on, I can’t imagine the reaction they’d have upon seeing me without it. 

The Devil’s eyes. That’s what they called them. The people of my hometown whispered and pointed at me like I was the living carnation of the devil with my ‘terrorizing eyes and maniacal smile’. People couldn’t even look at me unless I was wearing a mask. I couldn’t bring myself to see her reaction. The scar didn’t make it any better. I knew she disliked me just like everyone else but for some reason, it felt important that her impression of me didn’t burn to the ground completely.

The utter bewilderment that hit me when Y/N looked me in the eye unafraid was massive. She even had the audacity to smile at me. I’m convinced she’s an otherworldly creature because I can’t find a single explanation to explain her perplexing behavior. In one morning, she held my hand twice and smiled in my presence twice. She’s bloody insane. 

I’ve decided that I absolutely hate her. I hate her for looking at me so gently, I hate her for touching me so obliviously and causing me to think about it until my head hurts, I hate her for not fearing me and I hate her for being in my head and driving me nuts. Despite all these many reasons I hated her, my eyes still wandered over to her as she rode across from me. Why did she always look so serene?

~~~

Y/N’s POV:

The moment we stepped into the palace, I sneezed. 

Every person within hearing distance paused their conversation to stare at us. I sighed. How awkward. 

“What. Are you all looking at?! Get back to work now you useless fools!” Yelled Dottore.

Never before had I seen so many people scramble like ants to get out of the main landing of the first floor. Papers were dropped, terrified gasps were sounded and squeaky shoes skittered across the marble floor. 

I suppose I didn’t blame them for staring. We looked ridiculous. Dottore and I were both shivering, our hair sticking to our heads and mud stains decorating our uniforms. I’m sure it looked hilarious to any passers by but I’m not sure if the people here shared my sense of humour. Well, everyone except the man coming down the grand staircase who burst into laughter at the sight of us. I heard Dottore groan in annoyance at the sight of the navy haired man. 

His hat was enormous yet it carried a swaying veil behind it and every step he took was accompanied by the sound of a tinkling bell. A large electro symbol on his chest signified where his outfit might have come from.

“Cut the shit Balladeer. I’ve got things to do. Don’t you have a puppet show to perform in or something?” Snapped Dottore. 

I don’t quite know what Dottore meant by that but it meant an awful lot to the man whose name I now knew as the Balladeer. The fabled sixth whose temper and personality was known across Snezhnaya for being completely insufferable. His amused expression fell so quickly I almost questioned if he had laughed at all.

“Things to do? What, you mean like holding open doors and kissing up to your new assistant?” Replied the Inazuman in a nasty tone. 

“Congratulations, sixth. You’ve just booked yourself an appointment for disassembly,” said Dottore as his chains revealed themselves. He was closing the space between the two of them fast and I saw the Balladeer ready his catalyst.

“Right well, you two gentlemen have fun. I’ll be taking the materials back to the lab, my lord. Good afternoon,” I said, excusing myself as fast as possible. I did not want to be caught in the middle of this. 

My feet carried me right till the entrance to the first corridor before the yelling behind me had subsided and a flash of purple blinded me momentarily.

“And where do you think you’re going? I haven’t had a chance to properly introduce myself,” sneered the Balladeer, who now stood directly in front of me. “I’m the Balladeer. Number 6 of the Fatui Harbingers. Delighted to meet you, General Y/N. Gosh I’ve heard so much about you in the past day alone. Please, call me Scaramouche.”

He held out his hand for me to shake but the look on his face gave me shivers. Scaramouche was definitely the type of person to electrocute you when shaking your hand. So, I only nodded in acknowledgment. 

“Doctor Y/N L/N at your service, my Lord. I hope I can be of service to you but at the moment I’m in a hurry to deliver some things. If you’ll excuse me,” I spoke, bowing a little before walking around him. 

“She really does talk like a robot! I didn’t believe them when they told me she had the emotional range of a dead fish,” he laughed. 

What a rude man. At least say it when I’m not so close by. I had no idea those were the rumors about me. I mean, my practiced poker face was meant to betray no emotion but I think a dead fish was a bit of an exaggeration. 

I was much further down the corridor and I could still hear them arguing. Of course the Harbingers didn’t get along. What was I expecting? 

Once I’d reached the lab, I dropped off the satchel and left a note detailing that I would be back the following day after I’d cleaned up and had the chance to rest. I hoped that was an acceptable request. Dottore certainly needed his own rest. How does someone even go 10 days without sleep? 

Upon arriving at the accommodation lodge, a few other men and women walking and standing around in the lobby watched as I made my way to my lodgings. They were dressed similar to me and I once again found myself grateful for putting the mask on before entering the building. They snickered and whispered loud enough that I could make out the phrase ‘what a suck up’ as I walked by. 

How embarrassing for them. Were they truly such underachievers that seeing someone actually do their job properly was viewed as being a ‘suck up’? I knew jealousy when I saw it and I would give them a piece of my mind in a cool and memorable way later but only after that hot bath.

My room was immaculately quiet. Simply perfection. I thought all the surprises were over today but as soon as I stepped in, a tinkling sound caught my attention. A white letter rested on my desk and hovering above it was a Fatui symbol made out of ice that was rotating slowly. It looked like it was notifying me of the presence of the letter. How did it even get there?

Along the way to the desk, I dropped my clothes off on the floor and threw the blanket lying on the armchair around my shoulders. It did little to warm my limbs. 

The letter had no recipient name on it but the royal wax stamp was displayed on the front. My fingers reached out to touch the Fatui symbol and upon impact, it shattered into sparkling dust. Slowly my name penned itself into the envelope in intricate cursive writing.

I concluded that the letter was from the High Court or possibly even the Tsaritsa herself. My hands impatiently gripped the letter and opened it delicately. The letter read:

Dear General,

You have been personally invited by Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa to attend the celebration of Her long reign as the royal monarch of our beloved nation, Snezhnaya. 

The theme of this year's celebration is a Masquerade Ball and will take place in the Ammil Manor House. Transport will be provided for you and all invited persons are obliged to attend unless a valid reason is presented to Her Highness. 

This year’s guests of honor include: 

Il Dottore, No.4 Of The Fatui Harbinger

General Y/N L/N, Fatui Researcher

La Signora, No.8 Of The Fatui Harbinger

General Layla Ahmed, Second-In-Command of 8th

Pantalone, No.9 Of The Fatui Harbingers

General Ilya Petrov, Second-In-Command of 9th

Guests of Honour will be awarded medals for their contributions to the Fatui by the Tsaritsa. 

The ball will begin on the 10th hour of the afternoon two weeks after the opening of this letter. The High Court and Her Majesty, the Cryo Archon look forward to celebrating such momentous achievements. 

~~~

I reread it multiple times in order to understand what was written. I was a guest of honour? For what reason? There’s no way… Could the queen have already found out about our successful trip in retrieving the residue? That has to be it. Both Dottore and my names were there which meant that she already considered us successful in our plans to create Field Tiller cores. We would be awarded medals too? This was all happening so fast. This might be the first time I’d gain recognition and acknowledgment for my discoveries in this department. My heart swelled with pride; this was such a grand honour. I hate to say it but this wouldn’t be possible without Dottore. You know what? That isn’t entirely true. I should receive the most credit for beginning the journey myself. Gosh I make myself so proud sometimes.

As happy as I was, a twinge of sadness stabbed at my heart. It wasn’t always enough to make only myself proud. The truth is I had no one else to make proud and prove myself too. If my parents were ever present, I’d like to think they would have been beaming with pride. Sometimes I imagined myself being lifted into the air by my father after I’d successfully completed my first experiment. Of course it was all false memories. Mirages in my mind that I’d created as a child to fill the empty hole in my heart. 

I bit my lip as my throat constricted and my eyes burned with unshed tears. I wish it could’ve been different. I wish you were their mother and father. In fact, I wish I knew who you were at all or if you’re still alive out there. Since the day I was born my only motivation was to achieve my life’s goal of cracking every mystery that intrigued me and finding a solution for it. A personal goal can only take you so far. I learnt that the hard way when for days after I’d successfully created something extraordinary, there was not a stir of excitement or satisfaction in my heart. In the end, it all came down to the same question. What was the point? 

Inhaling and exhaling calmly, I put the letter down and left my intrusive thoughts on the desk as I prepared a bath for myself. After that I would sleep.

And so I did just that. The bath was like oil to creaky door hinges; my muscles had never felt so relaxed. My eyelids were heavy with fatigue as I snuggled under the covers with only the sound of crackling fire wood in the background. 

It would’ve been the best couple of hours of sleep in my life if I wasn’t so rudely interrupted by knocking at my door. It didn’t take a genius to guess who it was. I contemplated ignoring him and staying in the comfort of the little burrow I’d cocooned myself in but that man was persistent with the knocking. 

I got up, still very much half asleep and opened the door. “What do you want, Dottore?”

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and at this moment in time, I didn’t care how rough and sleep worn I looked. Dottore was ruining what now appeared to be my evening. How long had I been sleeping for? And why was it so hard to breathe? Don’t tell me the cold had already developed. Ugh…

He still hadn’t responded. He was kind of just standing there in my doorway making me look shorter than I was just because he was just about 6’3 and taking up the entire space in front of me. 

“Hello?” I called.

~~~

Dottore’s POV:

This was a mistake. I need to leave. Now. 

The gnawing feeling of regret had clawed its way up my throat and suddenly I couldn’t speak. She was asleep. And I’d just disturbed that sleep. And she sort of looked pissed. That wasn’t the issue at hand however.

It was the fact that she was dressed in nothing but a tank top and loose, baggy trousers. Her lips were swollen and her eyes were hooded from fatigue. My breath hitched in my throat and I don’t know why. Why did Y/N have such a weird impact on my breathing? This is terribly concerning. 

What scared me even more was that the concern vanished immediately when my eyes wandered down to her lips. Thank the Tsaritsa for this mask otherwise I don’t know how I would have explained myself. Her lips looked so soft, her eyes looked devastatingly magnetic and the casual clothing looked way too easy to take off.

Uh… This is new. I cannot believe I just thought that way about my nauseatingly annoying assistant. I could never face anyone again if they found out that Y/N had successfully seduced me by being a pain in the ass. There was absolutely something wrong with me and I would for sure be in denial about my feelings for her till the day I died. 

Hold on… Feelings for her? No. Absolutely not. This is preposterous. There is no way in hell, I had actually developed ‘romantic’ feelings for her. I’ve really, truly lost sight of myself. Get a damn grip Dottore. She’s just a woman. She doesn’t even reach your chin and you’re getting all worked up over her in an outfit that isn’t her uniform. 

It’s not just the outfit though. It’s her voice. Is this what she sounded like every morning? Even with her messy, still damp hair and sharp tongue, I still found her so attractive. That’s enough thinking now Dottore. Shut it off.

I cleared my throat. “What I want is for you to explain to me why you decided to take the rest of the day off without even notifying me in person. You think I have the time to read this note when I still have a million other things to deal with today. Get your ass down to the lab within ten minutes or I’ll make you work overtime. Are we clear, love?”

Good. I sounded completely normal and not as if my internal systems were completely malfunctioning with images of Y/N floating around. 

~~~

Y/N’s POV:

Honestly, I barely heard what he said. Dottore looked super blurry and his voice was muffled. He was holding the note I’d written him earlier, however it was now crumpled. So he definitely didn’t take me abandoning my duties for the day very well. I heard something about ‘ass’ and ‘ten minutes’ but my brain was working at 3mph and so my reaction was to just stare at him completely perplexed.

“Oi where are you looking? I’m over here,” Dottore said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. He sounded a little clearer now. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Uh…No. Anyways, thanks for visiting. Come again soon!” I said shutting the door. 

I think something was wrong with me. It was getting increasingly hard to breathe and my legs were feeling very jelly-like. Blinking no longer stopped my vision from blurring. 

I vaguely remember the door not shutting fully before my knees buckled from beneath me and my sight went black. 

Chapter Text

My head was splitting. The pain was beyond words and it genuinely felt as if someone was shaking my head around and throwing things right at my forehead. I groaned and stretched my aching muscles. My hands massaging my head did little to ease the discomfort. 

“Hey, stop doing that. You're going to rub off the soothing oil,” said a voice awfully close to me. 

I tried to open my eyes but not before hissing in pain at the bright light. I’m sure it wasn’t bright, but it bloody well hurt. My hands that were working uselessly to massage the agony away, were pulled away by someone else’s hands. Strange. I don’t recall having a roommate. 

My nose was so blocked up, breathing in was essentially just sniffing. Slowly, I opened my eyes in short cracks before the light was bearable. It appeared the source of brightness came from the lamp on my bedside. A figure slowly came into focus in front of me. 

“Hello there,” I spoke with evident exhaustion.

“Do you know who I am?” The male voice asked. 

“Why? Have you forgotten?” I asked back with an amused smile.

He sighed. “Answer the damn question.”

“Yes, Dottore. I know who you are. My turn now. Why are you in my room and sitting on the edge of my bed?”

“That would be because you thought it would be a good idea to collapse at the most inconvenient time to which I had to catch you before your head slammed into the coffee table. It appears you’ve got a fever after today's events. Your immune system is pathetic,” stated Dottore. 

“You’re pathetic,” I giggled before turning over in my bed. 

I’d successfully shocked him into silence before he easily recovered. “You’re clearly not in your right mind. Actually, never mind. This is totally something you would say even if you weren’t high on medication.”

I turned back over in my bed to face him from my lying down position.

“You drugged me?” I asked, sounding weirdly hurt. I wasn’t at all but I definitely felt loopy. Someone had rewired my brain and now I was seeing colors and shapes and my mouth was moving faster than my brain could comprehend.

“It was necessary darling. This way you’ll recover faster. You gave me the hardest time trying to get the medication into your system so I had to inject it in. Do you feel any pain anywhere?”

I thought about that question long and hard. Probably much longer than I should’ve because Dottore was checking to see if I was still awake. 

“Um I can’t really feel anything at all. What about the million things you said you have to do?” I asked, still very much struggling to focus the many silhouettes of him into one solid image. 

“They can wait,” he responded quietly.

“Hey stop moving so much, it’s making my head hurt. One Dottore is enough. Too many and there won’t be enough space for my brilliant mind,” I mumbled as I reached out to hold his face. Once I did, he slowly merged with his other selves until I could clearly see him. “There. Much better.”

I hadn’t realised at the time how my action just now had caused Dottore to blush a little in the low light. He pulled my hands away from the bottom half of his uncovered face before placing them gently back onto the blanket. 

“Get some sleep, love. I want you to be in the lab by 10am sharp. Understood?” He asked gently.

“Mhm,” I replied as I slowly fell back into a deep slumber. 

~~~

So I lied. I was late. Only by 15 minutes or so and once I was in there with my freshly washed uniform and mask secured on, I steeled myself for a scolding. A scolding I didn’t receive because Dottore was nowhere to be seen. 

“Good morning!” I yelled to announce my arrival.

“Yes it would be a good morning for you, wouldn’t it Y/N?” Said Dottore. 

He was right behind me. And he sounded pissed. I turned around to come face to face with his chest. Tilting my head up, I noticed his clenched jaw. 

“I don’t suppose you can give me a pass for being sick?” I asked meekly. 

“Strange, you don’t seem very sick to me.” He stated, as he pressed the back of his hand to my forehead and proceeded to check the pulse on the side of my neck. 

My heartbeat weirdly picked up when his fingers brushed my neck. I felt a pink flush rise up my neck and hoped my mask did well to cover up the reddening in my cheeks. I swear the fever was gone when I woke up, so why was my body reacting like this? The feeling felt similar to when I saw Dottore without the mask for the first time.

“Well that would be thanks to you Doctor. I appreciate what you did for me yesterday and I sincerely apologize for being late. I will be a model assistant today as to show my gratitude and make up for my tardiness. Would that please you sir?” I asked in a professional tone. 

“Stop talking like that. You’re creeping me out,” he grumbled as he swifted past me. “We have much to get done today. Follow me.”

I removed the mask and left it tied on the side of my head before following after him. The early hours of the day were spent with me teaching Dottore how to make the rejuvenating oil for the chaos core. Once we were done with that, it was 3 in the afternoon and the hour was upon us. To be honest, the time had flown by without me noticing. 

Part of me had really enjoyed showing Dottore the procedure because when it came to science he listened and did everything I told him to do. He was in his serious stance and not a single mood swing was witnessed. This particular fact had made the process all the more enjoyable and working alongside him was incredibly insightful as he suggested things to improve the mixture along the way and ensured to write them down when I approved them.

Now was the moment of truth. The chaos core was held by a clamp and Dottore gripped a pipette containing the oil. 

“Ok all you have to do now is add the entire volume of the oil drop by drop into the centre. Careful not to spill any. Ready?” I asked anxiously. Whilst I was completely sure we did the procedure correctly, I still felt nervous. 

He nodded and proceeded to add the oil. I waited for the reaction I’d noticed the first couple of times I’d tried it but… Nothing happened. I frowned. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I knew exactly what I did, the entire procedure was done without mistakes. 

“I don’t understand. What’s wrong with it?” I muttered under my breath as I came closer to it.

“You tell me Doc. If this was all a hoax, you are so in for it,” threatened Dottore in a low tone. 

“It is not a hoax.” I said firmly, sending him a glare. I was sort of hurt he had so little faith in me.

I walked over to his side and reached for the pipette in his hands. All the oil had definitely been used so what was the issue? I bit my lip and tried to recall the exact memory of what I did the first time. An idea popped into my head and it might’ve looked stupid to Dottore but it would work. I picked up the chaos core and shook it around a bit. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He demanded.

As soon as he’d asked, the runes and grooves on the chaos core lit up, slowly blue light ran all over the core. Dottore swore under his breath as he pulled off his mask to get a better look. I smiled up at him as I tapped the centerpiece of the core causing it to spin rapidly. 

The runes projected out all around us leaving replicated images of the symbols on the walls around us. 

“You actually did it…” he breathed out exasperatedly as he looked me in the eye with a gleam of excitement.

The core hovered over my hands, no longer needed to be held by myself. I let go and pushed it forward till it bobbed up and down slowly. 

“Amazing, isn’t it?” I said, glancing back at Dottore. But he wasn’t looking at the core. His eyes hadn’t left mine since a few moments ago and now he was frowning at me. “What’s wrong?”

It was making me nervous the way he looked so confused at me. 

“What is up with your eyes?” He whispered, taking my chin in his hands and tilting my head up. Dottore brought his face closer to mine until we were inches apart.

“W-what are you talking about?” I asked, getting a little bit scared. 

As the core powered down by itself, Dottore glanced from the core to me and back. I searched his eyes for an answer but he only looked more confused. 

“You need to do that again,” he said distractedly as he stalked off to retrieve another pipette and core. Once he was back, he spoke again. “This time, you add the oil.”

He shoved the tools into my hand and clamped the new chaos core into the stand. 

“I don’t understand Dottore. What’s going on? What did you see?” I asked, sounding slightly unnerved. 

“I need to test it again. Now do it.”

If it were dangerous, he would’ve sounded more alarmed. I was curious to know what he’d seen in my eyes. Exhaling shakily, I began the process of dripping the oil however this time it didn’t need shaking. It simply worked on its own; the familiar blue glow illuminated the room. I looked up at Dottore whose eyes were wide and puzzled. 

“Dottore what is it? Tell me,” I demanded. 

“I- I don’t know what it is. Your eyes are glowing Y/N. And there’s a star in each of your pupils. It only appeared when you started up the core the first time however it faded quickly. But this time… You did the procedure and now the stars are more prominent. Wait for the core to power down, I need to see the change.”

What on earth? I was so confused and very alarmed. Stars in my pupils? What did that mean? And why did it only happen when I was starting up the core? I bit my lip nervously as the core powered down. The glow in my eyes did too apparently as Dottore shook his head in bewilderment. 

“What does it mean?” I whispered. 

“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” he replied quietly. “But I think there’s someone else who might.”

A scowl had settled onto his face as he rubbed his jaw with an emotion I couldn’t comprehend.

“Am I gonna die?” I asked.

He glanced up quickly, registered my distressed expression and laughed. “No, of course not! Well actually I don’t know that for sure but it’s highly unlikely. Ha look at your face! I guess I know how to freak you out now.”

My expression dropped till I was glaring at him. I rolled my eyes before asking: “Who’s the person that might know what that was all about?”

His face turned sour again. “Pierro.”

That was a name I recognised. Most in Snezhnaya would know that name for he was the first of the Harbingers and the strongest. He rarely showed himself in public but was terrifyingly anonymous. I'd never once seen him in person and little was known about him. 

"I have some theories about this but I need confirmation from Pierro. Let's hope he's in a good mood. Grab your jacket," he ordered. 

I didnt hesitate as I threw my jacket on, replaced my mask over my face and left the lab swiftly alongside Dottore. We made our way up to the third floor of the palace which was the location of all the Harbingers offices, including Dottores which I had yet to see him actually enter. Honestly I questioned if even had to eat at this point seeing as he never left the lab. How he had such a nice physique from being cooped up down there was a mystery to me. 

We turned a corner to a corridor with only one door at the end of it. Dottore checked around us suspiciously before heading to the door.  He seemed a little nervous which didn't ease my worries. My mind was already coming up with the most ridiculous, terrifying ideas of what this was about. It obviously had something to do with the rejuvinating oil. Didn't that mean this could be linked to the Void Liquid Residue? To the Abyss?

Dottore straightened his jacket and knocked. "Wait out here for the moment," he whispered.

I nodded as a voice came from the other side of the door gesturing for Dottore to enter. I swallowed anxiously. 

On his way in, he placed a hand on my shoulder briefly which i recognised as his way of reassuring me. That was new. I suppose I sort of needed that.

The door slammed shut as I paced back and forth trying to make out a single sound from inside. After some time, the door reopened and Dottore gestured with his head for me to come in. Should i be this nervous?

Inside, the room was cold and stale. A wooden desk and shelves with books and medals lined the walls. A massive window from floor to ceiling displayed the snowy lands behind the palace. Quite a view. 

My attention was immediately on the man who walked around his desk towards me. He was tall, taller than Dottore. A mask covered half his face and I almost gasped at the sight of his visible eye. A star. The Khaenrian star. There's no way the star Dottore saw in my pupils was the same one. That's ridiculous. 

"Ah… So this is the General I've heard so much about. I am The Jester, Pierro. Pleasure to meet you," spoke Pierro. His voice was deep and strong and wise. It was mystifing and I could see the knowledge and experience in the way he walked. 

Pierro extended his hand to me to which I reached forward to shake. When our skin came in contact, I felt a hot spark that sent a twinge of pain up my veins. 

I hissed and retracted my hand, studying my palm for any damage. I nervously looked up to view his reaction.

"Did you see it?" Asked Dottore, facing Pierro. 

"I did. Leave us Dottore," he stated. 

It appears that touching Pierro had sparked the reaction in my eyes. 

"But-" started Dottore however he was swiftly silenced by one look from Pierro. He marched out with a huff leaving the two of us alone. 

Pierro gestured to the seat and I obliged, sitting down quietly. Why did the situation feel so intimidating? I held a straight face and looked him in the eye unafraid. I wanted answers and i wanted them now.

"Y/N L/N," he started. "I should've recognised the name long ago. L/N."

"With all due respect my Lord, I don't like being kept in the dark and evidently you know something. Could you tell me what is going on and how you recognise my surname please? I’m looking for answers and you are the only person who can give them to me apparently."

He sighed before placing his hands in front of me. "Dr L/N was a famous researcher working for the royal family of Khaenriah. Just as you are now, funnily enough. He is your ancestor and perished with the rest of the civilisation after the cataclysm. His children, however, that is a different story. You are proof of that."

I don't understand. This made absolutely no sense. 

"What are you insinuating?"

"I'm sure you've figured it out by now, General. You have Khaenrian blood in your veins, and this comes from your parents who were descendants of Dr L/N. This star you see in my eye symbolizes my origin and yours too," stated Pierro. 

"I'm an orphan. I've never once met my parents and throughout my life, this strange change in my eyes has never occurred before. You're being extremely brief my Lord. Please explain further," I demanded. I knew I was pushing the boundaries but this was so new and it was scaring me and I was so confused. He had just told me I'm a descendant of the extinct nation I'd been studying for years now. 

Pierro narrowed his eyes at me, studying me before walking over to retrieve a book. 

"I once worked for the Royal Family so I was acquainted with your very great grandfather. This book is something I was able to save after the cataclysm and I believe it can help you understand your ancestry much better," he pushed the book forward towards me. "My theory is that the strength of the Khaenrian blood in your body has been weakened significantly from generation to generation. It is still present however and only shows itself when you come into contact with things that came from the nation originally."

I nodded slowly, agreeing with this theory. So far, that is precisely what had happened to date. It was so much to process and I knew I wouldn't get much sleep tonight, thinking about it. 

"Listen to me Dr Y/N. We are only a handful of people in such a vast world. Celestia thought they could put us away for good but humanity isn't so easily defeated. That being said, there are people in our present world that wish to act as servants to Celestia. Word of this will get out soon and once it does, you will have to keep an eagle eye over your shoulder at all times. Trust no one because anyone could be hiding a dagger up their sleeve," warned Pierro. 

I frowned. "There are more survivors?"

"Indeed. I have yet to meet another from the original generation but I have come across many like you. You are an example of how our homeland has remained as alive as ever in this world."

"You said there are people out there who want us dead," I initiated slowly. 

"That is correct. From this day forth, your life will always be in danger. I cannot guarantee your life but your current place will surely keep you safe for as long as possible. The Tsaritsa will be notified of this new development. You will be protected in this stronghold and you can continue your research alongside The Doctor without any worries. Do you understand?"

Getting up from my seat, I knelt to one knee and placed my hand on my heart. My head was bowed in respect as I responded:

"Yes, my Lord. Thank you for your time."

He nodded and prepared to leave the room through a door on the side however he paused for just a beat longer.

"Eavesdrop again, Dottore, and I'll confiscate your lab." His voice boomed around the office. 

I stepped out to see Dottore leaning on the nearby wall, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance at being discovered,

"So you heard all that?" I asked, picking at a loose thread in the spine of the rugged book Pierro had given me. 

"... I did."

I nodded and motioned for him to lead the way back. Without another word, he pulled his mask back over his face and strolled quietly by my side. As we reached the flashy two way staircase, I turned to face Dottore. 

"Which way is the library?" I asked. I had yet to actually visit the palace library I'd heard so much about. 

"You wont find anything useful, love. I've looked through most of the books. There's nothing useful that you don't already know about Khaenriah," he replied.

"It doesn't matter. I need a quiet space to think. Please take me there," I said feeling dejected.

He nodded slowly before leading me up the stairs till we reached the fifth floor. Something was different about this level. Only one set of wide double doors was available to use. The palace was built in a way that half of it was made up of a sky scraping tower where the Tsaritsa's throne room rested on the final floor, and the other half was hidden out of view, behind the tower. This part was where we had now entered and it was structured in a rectangle rather than the ovular shape of the tower.

Dottore pushed open the door. My eyes were wide and bewildered. The rumours did this place no justice because it was vast and regal and so full with books. At the centre of the library was an enormous tree that grew healthily and shaded the tables and chairs beneath it. A glass dome of iridescent crystal allowed light to pass in and illuminate the gigantic room. I couldn't see where it ended. We currently stood on a balcony of sorts that looked over all the many bookshelves and two staircases on each side led down to the main floor. I never wanted to leave this place. 

Hurriedly, I skipped down the steps and brushed my fingers on the spines of all the books that I strolled past. Labels stuck to the sides of the book cases labeled by the decade of publication and the genre with a few other more specific tags beneath it to allow easier searching. 

"Do you want me to show you the section on Khaenriah?" He asked from behind me. 

"No. Not yet. I'm going to flick through this book Pierro gave me then we can get back to the core. We should take it to Sandrone; she can assemble a Ruin Guard for us and we can test it in the arena. I only need a little time to reconcile and let it sink in. Wouldn't wanna waste any more time, right?" I attempted a joke but it hardly felt amusing. 

I don't know what was wrong with me but this new discovery about myself was really bothering me. It completely dampened the mood. 

"It's alright, you know. We do have time. Besides, I can always take the core myself and save you the trouble of dealing with Sandrone," he replied quietly, fiddling with a button on his leather gloves. 

Considerate Dottore. Huh. I never thought I'd see the day. I can imagine he'd be trying to avoid eye contact underneath the mask and i couldn't help but relax a little at the gesture. 

"Really Dottore, it's fine. I want to see it in action myself. Your welcome to stay if you like but i'm sure you have things to do in the meantime. I wont be longer than an hour," I promised. 

He nodded slowly before taking his leave. 

Now for this book. To be honest, I was still in shock. It hadn’t sunk in yet that I was actually a descendant of the extinct civilization that now lied in ruin with the new name of the Abyss. Technically speaking, I’d gone back to my homeland without even knowing. Perhaps that's why I left the Abyss completely unscathed. 

I sat down on the nearest table and chair, hesitating to open the book. The cover was made of black leather and a single golden star was stamped on the front. Before opening it, I held my head in my hands as I tried to figure out what was bothering me so much. 

This feeling began after Dottore had spotted the star in my eyes during the experiment. I started feeling a weird heart sinking feeling and only now did it hit me what my subconscious mind had been chanting in the background. 

I was a fraud. 

My discovery of how to create the Field Tiller core was most likely completely a fluke. I thought this way because if you think about it, only I could’ve been able to make it work with my Khaenrian blood. Hence, it had nothing to do with my own mind and ideas. It wouldn’t even be far-fetched to think that I could’ve just thrown in the most random ingredients into the oil and it still would’ve worked. The thought left a fissure in my heart. I was a complete fraud. 

Who's to say all my other discoveries were not just the product of my DNA making me skip the entire process and use my stupid Khaenrian blood to fix it all? What if I didn’t even think for myself? This might sound ridiculous but in the state I was in, all my intrusive thoughts were starting to take over. This is why I always shoved things down and left them never to be thought of again. I was self-destructing. 

Usually, when I was researching a project, ideas and theories came to me just like that but now I was starting to feel skeptical. Maybe it wasn’t me who was thinking. Maybe the traces in my blood had taken over and done all the thinking for me. 

I shook my head from side to side to empty it out of my thoughts. The book was all that was important now. This would give me answers. No need to let my mind aimlessly go astray. I exhaled and carefully pulled the cover open.

Empty. The pages were all empty. This was so unamusing. I hoped Pierro wasn’t just playing a joke on me because at this point, I might just cry. 

I ran my fingers over the crisp, off white pages. Usually blank pages like these had hidden messages in them or disappearing ink. I don’t think any normal way of revealing the ink would work… No, that was too easy. What if blood was the trick? Maybe the DNA would trigger something in the book, allowing it to reveal the contents. Or maybe this wasn’t even me thinking and just memories of my past ancestors surfacing and intruding my brain. Be quiet brain. I’m getting a headache. 

Quickly, I swiped out the blade hidden in my boot and pricked the tip of my finger with the sharp point. Saying a silent prayer in my head, I let a few drops fall onto the sheets of paper. At first nothing happened and I had half a mind to throw the book into the nearest fireplace. However, it saved itself at the last moment. 

The pages, one by one, illustrated words and diagrams painted themselves in. They looked handwritten, almost like a journal. I flipped back to the front page and ran my fingers over the name inscribed in the inside cover. 

Oscar L/N, Khaenrian Researcher.

Oscar. So that was his name. Interesting… I wondered what was in here. I wondered why this was something Pierro had in his possession. Perhaps he was good friends with Oscar? I’d have to ask him another time. 

After flicking through the first few pages, I realised this was a log. Oscar had been recording ideas and experiments in this book; just like I recorded mine… An uncomfortable feeling settled in my stomach. Was I really only like this because of him? Am I even my own person anymore?

I slammed the book shut and laid my head on the table with a groan. 

“Was the book not to your liking?” Came an unfamiliar voice from my right. 

I sat up immediately and turned to identify the person. The short man was just standing there holding a stack of books in his hand. He had elvish ears and a long nose. A strange hat sat atop his graying hair but gentle eyes stared back at me from behind a set of thick glasses. 

“Not exactly,” I replied back. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced before. I am General Y/N L/N, Fatui researcher. Pleasure to meet you sir.”

I stood up from my seat and bowed. 

“Ah Dottore’s new companion! Yes, I’ve heard about you from around the palace. You’ve caused quite the buzz,” he spoke with a gleam in his eyes. I was unsure what that was all about. “I am Pulcinella. No.5 of the Fatui Harbingers. You are just as polite and confident as they said you’d be.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Who said I’d be that way?” 

He laughed heartily. “Little Childe, Sandrone and Scaramouche. Dottore too, although I don’t think he meant it as a compliment… Anyway, it’s nice to finally meet you. Your companion seems to have returned so I will take my leave. I look forward to seeing more of you Y/N.”

He smiled enthusiastically before disappearing behind a bookshelf. Like, literally just disappearing. He talked like a happy father and the other Harbingers seemed comfortable talking to him which struck me as strange, especially as none of them seemed to get along . Pulcinella was a fairly nice man but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to all the Harbingers I’d met. Each of them had suffered in some way to reach such a high position of power. 

I turned to see Dottore descending the stairs and heading in my direction. My stomach turned over for some reason. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought that he might find out I might be a completely fake person and nothing I’ve ever achieved was done with my own mind. What would he think of me then? Usually I couldn’t care less what people thought of me because I always knew that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted to. I only ever had to do things for myself because it’s always just been me for as long as I remembered. Now I wasn’t so sure… And I didn’t want Dottore’s impression of me to be completely ruined. He already disliked me enough.

“Your done, right? I handed the core over to Sandrone after I left . The Ruin Guard will be ready to test by the time we get there apparently. Tartaglia has volunteered to be the target practice. Let’s go,” explained Dottore. 

I nodded and followed suit, still feeling conflicted and muddled about who I was. I decided to forget that for the moment and focus on the testing of our first real Ruin Guard. The excitement I felt was enough to distract me from my own thoughts. Despite the fact that I’d made the core, I had never actually tried to test it through the use of a weapon or anything. So this would be an entirely new experience for me. 

~~~

We arrived at the training arena that was on the underground floor of the palace. I’d never been here before but my calendar had stated that annual duels would take place here. It was a large space with high seats for spectating and VIP boxes probably for the Harbingers and the Tsaritsa. 

The Ruin Guard was walking around in circles on the sandy flooring of the battle grounds and Childe and Sandrone appeared to be arguing about something when we walked in. 

“Give the remote back Tartaglia! Stop making it walk in circles, you’ll make its parts get stiff with sand!” whined Sandrone as she grabbed Childe’s shoulder. 

“You’ve got a life sized robot toy and you're not going to play around with it? Ugh boring. Teucer would love this,” said Childe as he relinquished his hold on the remote.

The Ruin Guard came to an abrupt stop and simply made whirring sounds in the centre of the grounds. 

“Ah, you're here comrade!” He waved at me with a smile. “Oh and Dottore is here too.”

I could almost see the eye roll beneath Dottore’s mask. Evidently, they didn’t get along very well.

“Oh Y/N! Your back!” Giggled Sandrone. 

She gave me the creeps. Her eyes betrayed her greedy expression as a twisted smile creeped onto her face. I simply nodded politely and shuffled a little closer to Dottore. One maniacal, mad scientist was enough for me thank you very much. 

“Let’s get right into it. Sandrone, pilot the Ruid Guard and test it’s attacking features. Tartaglia, just stand still and take the pain. Got it?” Said Dottore as he pulled out a notebook and pen.

“Now hang on a second, I thought I was going to actually fight this thing?” Asked Childe with confusion. 

“Nonsense! You’re the target. I was over the moon when you offered to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the progression of our research Tartaglia. It really made the process a whole lot easier,” smiled Dottore with fake gratitude.

Childe frowned with even more confusion, clearly not understanding the situation he’d signed himself up for. I decided to lend him a hand and get him out of this mess. 

“Actually, my Lord… I think having Tartaglia battle the Ruin Guard might allow us to come up with new ideas on how to better its strength. We can note down adjustments and attachments we think might improve its battle power. What do you think?” I suggested.

He turned down to look at me before sighing in annoyance. 

“Go on then,” he mumbled. 

Childe winked at me and took off to find a decent position on the battlefield. He gave a thumbs up to Sandrone who glanced at us for the ok to begin. 

“Don’t hold back now, Sandrone. Make it fun,” yelled Childe. 

“Be careful what you wish for,” I heard her whisper cruelly under her breath with a smirk. 

Well that was concerning. I hope we won't be burying a dead body tonight. 

Dottore and I stood on the edge of the arena rather than in the spectator seats in order to get a closer view. 

Immediately, the Ruin Guard turned its body around, its missiles readying to launch. Childe attempted to shoot an arrow of hydro into the missile launcher however a blue force field made of small hexagons flickered and shielded the Ruin Guard. That was a completely new feature I’d never seen before and it was incredibly useful. It now had its own protection.

“Write that down,” I said, tapping Dottore’s arm.

He scribbled down many observations we’d seen during the battle such as the increased speed of the bot and the higher jump it had taken in an attempt to stomp on Childe. He looked like he was having the time of his life and so far he’d only managed to graze the bot’s wooden exterior. Sandrone really hadn’t gone easy on him. She was smiling with a cocky expression as if she knew he’d never be able to win this match. 

“I suppose it’s time I take this a little more seriously,” laughed Childe as his bow turned into a hydro double ended polearm. 

His combat abilities and stamina were off the charts. I’d never seen strength like this except from Adepti. It really was interesting to watch. The battle was moving fast and neither side was letting up. The Ruin Guard had shown all sorts of improvements in comparison to a replica without an original core. It was incredible what we had been able to achieve.

Eventually, the pair of them had begun to edge closer to us. I wasn’t sure if this was very safe, especially as I began to see flashes of purple electro coming from a delusion attached to Childe’s attire. Sandrone looked very concentrated on beating Childe to the pulp with her remote controlled Ruin Guard. 

Immediately, Childe parried a punch from the bot, sending a gust of wind billowing in our direction, especially as we were so close to the battle. Sand was kicked up in the process and I was just about to turn my face away from it when Dottore’s hand slipped into mine and pulled me behind him. He didn’t seem fazed at all by the mini sandstorm but I was certainly in a state of genuine surprise at his actions. Dottore had just protected me. 

He was still watching the battle before us and he was spinning the pen between his fingers. It was almost as if he’d done it without noticing. I shuffled a little sideways until his body still protected me from anymore sand but the battle was easily visible. I ended up standing extremely close to his back with my head poking out from behind his arm. Dottore tensed a little at the close proximity but after glancing down at me in acknowledgment, his focus was back on the duel. 

“Hurry up and beat it Tartaglia. I know you're just messing around,” snapped Dottore over the sound of mechanical movement and clashing of weapons. 

Childe smirked before creating an enormous water whale that crashed down onto the bot, making it momentarily stunned. He then switched entirely to electro and teleported from angle to angle, stabbing the Ruin Guard with his blazing purple blade. 

His final move had led him to appear directly in front of us. Childe smirked, bowed and the Ruin Guard crumpled to the ground. 

“Ugh, insufferable child,” complained Sandrone. Clearly, she was vexed after losing. 

“What did you think Doc?” Asked Childe. The question was aimed at me out of the two doctors here and Dottore seemed much too busy scribbling observations down to answer to Childe. 

“You are a very talented fighter, Tartaglia,” I complimented. “This was extremely helpful to us, we’ve gotten many pointers thanks to you. I trust that was fun enough for you?”

Childe reached for my hand and brought his lips to my knuckles. “Oh absolutely.”

Just as he was about to place a kiss on the back of my hand, my wrist was pulled away from his grasp by Dottore. 

“Don’t you dare touch her, Tartaglia. I can’t have your filthy germs contaminating my lab,” Dottore spat. “You’ve done your job, now get out of my sight. You too, Sandrone. You’re going to be seeing a lot more of us soon as we adjust the design of the bot.”

“Yes, yes, I’m leaving. I can’t stand being around the two of you,” she rolled her eyes. “Not you though, my little puppet. Oh! Did I say puppet? Haha… I meant nothing by it Y/N. I look forward to showing you my puppet collection however.”

She sneered at me before the automation holding her up, carried her away. I shivered. No way would I go anywhere near her puppet collection. I wouldn’t be surprised if she already had a case ready for me in there.

“I suppose I’ll see you later then Comrade. Don’t be afraid to come over for a chat sometime, yeah?” He winked. Childe glanced between Dottore and I with a questioning look before letting it slip and strolling out. 

“Annoying kid,” muttered Dottore under his breath. 

I walked over to the collapsed Ruin Guard and tried to survey the damage. Not much was actually done to the bot’s body but Childe managed to fry the circuits inside as a small wisp of smoke trailer out.

“How’s the damage?” Asked Dottore, making his way over to me. 

“Little was done to the exterior. It’s durable but I’m thinking we should use a material other than wood. It’s definitely outdated and way too flammable. Not to mention the water will cause much damage to the inside and outside,” I thought out loud. “I want to check the state of the core. Do you think you could open the panel?”

He nodded and knelt down to pull the panel off but his leather gloves alongside the wet surface was giving him a hard time. Dottore slipped off the gloves and successfully pulled the piece of wood off to reveal the circuit and various pieces inside. I spotted the core but something didn’t look right about it. The runes were glowing piping hot red around the edges and that’s when the alarm bells were ringing in my head. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even get a word out to warn him that it would be dangerously hot before his hands wrapped around it. I winced at the hissing that sounded when his hands made contact with it. 

“Son of a bitch!” Cursed Dottore, dropping the core before clenching his hands shut. 

“Are you ok?” I asked frantically.

He held up one finger to silence me as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. His throat bobbed as he swallowed and he bit his lip to try and distract himself from the burns. I hated the way my stomach fluttered at the sight of him because he was obviously in pain but he sort of looked really good in the midst of it too. Why did this situation feel so familiar…?

“No. I’m not fucking ok. This is all because that ginger idiot fried the circuits!” he yelled. “My hands are in fucking pain so take the damn notebook and pen and follow me back to the lab. I don’t want to hear a peep out of you, Y/N.”

I grimaced because technically I was the one who asked him to pick it up but hey, at least we knew that the core wouldn’t work if it was damaged by an electro-charged reaction. 

On the way back to the lab, I caught a glimpse of the state his hands were in. His palms were bright pink and the edges were red. Good, it wasn’t anything worse than a first degree burn but I did know how much they hurt. The next thing I picked up on were the jagged scars over his knuckles and hands. It seemed like he was scarred in many places and it upset me to think that he had to deal with all of them. I suppose him being a doctor made it less inconvenient.

Once we’d walked all the way to the lab, I pushed open the door for him and quickly grabbed him a seat. 

“Sit, please. I’ll grab a cool cloth and some ointment and help you apply it. It was me who asked you to touch and for that I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Don’t be stupid, I can do it myself,” he grumbled, pulling off his mask and throwing it on the desk nearby. 

“No. Please let me repay the favor for you treating me when I had a fever. It’s only fair,” I compromised firmly.

“Do whatever you like,” responded Dottore with an eye roll as he took a seat.

I returned quickly with two cloths and a bucket of water. I pulled my own chair forwards till I sat opposite him. The silence was deafening and I wanted to say something but he didn’t seem in a very talkative mood so I just focused on applying the treatment. Dottore was busy staring down at his hands, his ruby red eyes seemed somewhere distant. 

Pulling his left hand forward first, I pushed his sleeve up a little before pressing the soaked cloth into the injury. I did the same for his other hand before getting up to make a treatment for his skin. This was an easy one and an ointment for burns was probably the first thing we learned to make when I shadowed a doctor in Fontaine. It was done within 15 minutes and when I returned Dottore’s head was tilted back and staring at the ceiling. He turned to acknowledge me as I sat down opposite him and removed the cloths. The redness had gone down ever so slightly and he looked to be in less discomfort. 

“I’m bored. Tell me something.” He said out of the blue as I put the cloths away and pulled his right hand towards my thigh to rest on. 

“Umm what do you want to know?” I asked. I had started applying the ointment onto his skin, gently spreading it over to ensure I didn’t hurt him 

He shrugged and I glanced up to study his expression. He looked tired. His eyes were half closed, his eyelids hooded. I wondered if he ever slept or if he was in here all the time. He was always later than me to leave and earlier than me to arrive. I’d never once seen him eat and I wondered if he was even human. Dottore was dedicated to his job and I was seeing myself in him because before the Fatui, I was just like him. 

“So… We are guests of honour at the ball happening in a fortnight. It seems Her Highness has already found out about our successful endeavors,” I said as I focused on the task before me. 

“Mm. She has spies everywhere, it’s only natural she’d find out before we had the chance to report it to her. She’ll likely call us up for an update on our progress soon.”

I nodded and we lapsed back into silence. It wasn’t really an awkward silence. We weren’t friends so not having anything to say to each other wasn’t unusual, besides I did want to get this task finished soon. I was just about done with Dottore’s right hand when I felt his eyes on me. Flicking my gaze up, our eyes met and his stare burned into mine. I felt my cheeks heat and that odd flutter in my stomach. Tearing my eyes from his, I swiftly finished the job on his left hand before bandaging both hands up. I was still so strongly aware of his eyes watching my every move. I hoped he couldn’t tell what effect he was having on me. 

Chapter Text

It had been two weeks since I found out I was a Khaenrian descendant. It had also been two weeks since I slept a full night. Every time I got into bed, I would question everything about myself and I was having a serious identity crisis. The masquerade ball was tomorrow and I looked rough and exhausted. 

The past two weeks had flown by and whilst nothing extraordinary happened, it still felt as if significant events took place. Dottore and I had been adding and adjusting all sorts of things to the Ruin Guard after testing it in the arena and we’d been sending these updates to Sandrone for days now as she worked to produce the new automation. A couple days after the first testing, the Tsaritsa called us in for an update just as Dottore had predicted. 

“Well? How far have you progressed?” She asked in her regal voice. 

“The Ruin Guard worked successfully and appeared to have new original features compared to cheap replicas of the bot. It will definitely be useful in the final battle and we are thinking of using the technology to develop new weapons, with your blessing of course.” Stated Dottore. 

“Adequate. You have my blessing to proceed with your plans. I trust you will both be in attendance at the ball in two weeks?” Responded the Queen.

We nodded because everyone in this room knew she wouldn’t accept No for an answer. Bit of a silly question really. 

“You are dismissed, Dottore.General L/N, stay behind.”

Dottore left the room without another word as everyone lapsed into silence. What did she need me for? This felt like a teacher asking a student to remain behind for detention or a beating. I wasn’t in trouble was I?

“Come closer, child,” she ordered.

I stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to her throne as her piercing crystalline eyes bore into mine. Not a thing could be determined from those eyes. 

“Tell me, what do you think of Il Dottore after working with him?” Asked the archon. 

Was she asking me because she was testing him? What was the right course of action here? Do I tell the truth or make him look good in front of her?

“And don’t even dream of trying to hoax me into believing he’s a saint and a wonderful superior. I’ve known this man for many years, that being said, you will tell me the truth. What do you think of him?” She asked firmly. 

Well there’s my answer I guess. I didn’t realize how much I had to think about this question because at the start of this all he was my kidnapper and he’s threatened me with death more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. On the other hand, Dottore has been much more tolerable recently and he was the perfect lab partner. Ignoring his many faults, I’d learned to like him when he wasn't being a prick. Not to mention the strange flutters in my stomach… I would never mention those to anyone however. 

“Dottore is tolerable. His dedication to his work and his expertise in the field makes him an excellent superior and I’ve learnt much from the past couple of days of working by his side. If you ignore his short temper and threatening nature, he is a reasonable man who I certainly look up to. It wouldn’t even be far-fetched that sometimes he can be considerate and polite,” I ended up saying. 

Once I finished, I heard gasps and whispers around me. I dared to glance around to see people looking confused and surprised. My eyes were back on the queen and even she had a glimmer of intrigue in her expression.

“Considerate and polite, you say? Reasonable?” She laughed. She actually laughed. Her voice echoed around the room delicately, sending shivers down my spine. The many other soldiers and attendants had a similar reaction to me. “That man is many things, but reasonable is not one of them. Listen to me child, Dottore has never spoken to any of his assistants or subordinates in a polite tone and he has never once been described in the way you have described him. I do believe your words however. Do what you will with that information.”

I was puzzled by her words. What did she mean by that?

“Pierro informed me about the new developments you’d learned about your heritage. How have you taken to learning this about yourself?” Questioned the Tsaritsa. 

Thank you for asking, Your Majesty. Will my eye bags give you any idea of how well I’m fairing? If not then I’ll just tell you simply. Absolutely shit. 

Everytime, I’m in the lab all I can think about is how completely unreal everything about me is and everytime Dottore calls my name, I flinch at the thought that he might call me out for not being the genius I thought I was, but actually just someone whose great-great-great-great-great- grandfather was a mastermind and his genes are all that have made me able to do what I’ve done. Maybe I’ve never even done one thing with my own head. I’m worried one day I won’t be able to answer a question because all the knowledge doesn’t belong to me. It’s just there because a relative knew about it 500 years ago. My blood gave me the ability to use Khaenrian technology, who's to say it doesn’t store memories and knowledge and carry it down through each generation. 

“I feel no different,” is what I chose to say. No need to burden the Queen with my worries. 

She cocked her head to the side with a contemplating expression. “Hm. I see. If that’s the case, then I look forward to awarding your medal in two weeks time. Dismissed.”

I exhaled quietly. Thankfully she didn’t push me for anything more than that. I left the room swiftly and took my time walking back to the lab. Dottore walked in step with me after I turned the corner as he’d waited for me. 

“She asked you about me didn’t she?” He said.

“She did.”

“And what did you tell her?” 

I smiled under my mask. I’d been doing that a lot more frequently around Dottore and I realised how comfortable I was with being expressive when my mask wasn’t on. 

“I told her how incompetent you are and that you insult her behind her back. She looked pretty mad,” I joked, the smile evident in my voice.

“Hilarious. I guess you're not telling me anything, huh?"

"Nope," I sighed. 

Once we reached the stairs, i mentally prepared for myself the agony I'd experience on the way down. With the lack of sleep, my energy levels had significantly depleted. Sometimes, I was even too distracted to eat. This was becoming a common occurrence. 

Another development that had taken place was the fact that Dottore and I had ended up spending our lunch breaks together in the chess room. It all started when neither of us could be bothered to head out to the cafeteria for food so we ordered it to the lab and ate in silence opposite each other. This happened the next day and the next and since then its become routine. 

After a couple of days we even played chess and checkers. Sometimes when I won too many times, Dottore would get irritated and challenge me to a game of cards instead. Slowly everything became a competition between us. It was quite fun actually. If you had told me 2 weeks ago that I'd actually enjoy my time working for the Fatui alongside the fourth harbinger, I certainly wouldn't have believed you. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not he was enjoying it as much as I was but Dottore had began to take his mask off more frequently when it was just us two in the lab. 

We handed the procedure over to the other Fatui researchers for them to continue to produce the cores and begin the work of manufacturing an army. That being said, the both of us had much more time on our hands to freely experiment and come up with new weapon ideas. We’d even managed to create a replacement for my own weapons. Rather than dual blades, I chose to switch to using guns. Two sleek silver pistols with engraved designs in them were now my protectors.

One significant memory of mine was the day where we sat over lunch, discussing our plans for the armoury we were developing. Dottore sat opposite me with his chin resting on his hand as I detailed a new idea about a variation of the Ruin Guard. About halfway through, and he hadn’t said a word.

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’ve fallen asleep and I’m just talking to myself,” I said. 

“I’m awake, I’m awake,” he replied with a sigh as he removed his mask to prove to me his eyes were open. 

“Ok then…” I said as I continued where I left off. 

As I babbled on about the attachments and attack sequence I was thinking of, Dottore never took his eyes off me. I was worried I’d bored him to death but he only held my eyes with a look of admiration in his gaze. The corners of his lips were tipped up in a small smile, he almost looked amused. 

“Hey, what’s so funny?” I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Nothing at all,” he replied with a now full fledged smile. “Please continue, this is most intriguing.”

A gentle expression I’d never seen in his eyes before settled. The small smile was still present and it suddenly hit me that this might’ve been what Dottore looked like when he was relaxed. It was a sight for sore eyes. Suddenly I felt a little nervous and I could no longer hold eye contact with him. A warm flush creeped up my neck.

~~~

Dottore’s POV:

She was so animated when she talked. Especially when it was something she was passionate or excited about. She spoke quickly almost as if a new idea was generating every other second and she needed to say it before it disappeared from her memory. It was adorable and I found myself completely hooked on her words. Once she’d realised I was actually listening, she looked even happier and I felt that ever so irritating skip of the heart beat that had become so frequent around her. After that however, she seemed to avoid my gaze. What was that about?

I’d become more comfortable around her from before and I noticed she did too. She smiled at me, she laughed, and she even looked at me with a happy expression when my mask was off. In conclusion, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I’d even dreamt about Y/N a few times in the past couple days and when I woke up I wanted to drown myself because that was a whole new level of weird. 

So the newly acknowledged romantic feelings for her was one thing but no one ever said dreaming about the person was a part of the package. It was honestly exhausting fighting with myself about how I felt about her so I just accepted it. Y/N completely enticed me and I didn’t even find it that bad because she made it happen by rivaling me and going against me and standing out to me. She was capable of keeping up with me and sometimes when I started off an idea, she was able to finish it with her own creative thoughts.

All of that was a week ago and we were now sitting in the chess room with our lunch the day before the ball. She seemed fairly happy about being a guest of honour but today she had hardly said a word. 

She wasn’t sleeping. I noticed. I didn’t say anything however because I didn’t know how to bring it up or talk to her about it. I wasn’t even sure if she wanted to. Y/N looked tired and her actions were sluggish. Her reactions were slow and half hearted. It had been like this for a couple of days now and whilst before I knew she wasn’t sleeping well, it was really starting to show now. She was picking at her food with a fork but she was somewhere else completely. Her eyes were distant and distracted. 

I hated it. Seeing her look so drained was making me feel uncomfortable especially in the chest area of my body. How her struggles were causing an impact on me was a mystery. I had no idea how these feelings worked and despite how annoying they could be, I was curious to understand them better. Y/N blinked the tiredness out of her eyes and that was when I snapped.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been so out of it these past couple of days and it’s affecting our productivity. I’ve had to call your name twice many times today to get you to respond. Tell me what’s wrong,” I demanded. I probably should’ve been a bit more considerate but that would be out of character for me. 

Her eyes flitted up slowly and I saw alarm in her eyes. She looked nervous about something.

“Nothings wrong Dottore, I’ve just been having trouble sleeping. It’s probably because we’ve been so busy and I’ve been thinking about it all too much,” she responded eventually.

“No. This started after the day you spoke to Pierro. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong whether you like it or not; I can’t have you underperforming in here. It could be dangerous if your low energy levels result in slow reaction time. What happens if you’re stood next to dangerous machinery or substances? So tell me,” I said firmly. 

She frowned a little and I saw sadness in her eyes. She bit her lip nervously before putting down the fork and exhaling. What is it that was bothering her?

~~~

Y/N’s POV:

This is it. He’s forcing me to tell him. Honestly he’d acted so normal and unbothered that I was sure he hadn’t noticed. I mean why would Dottore of all people care what was going on outside of the workplace? It was nerve racking trying to come up with the words to explain to him what was going on. But once I started, I couldn’t stop and that was all due to the fact that when you bottle things up, the moment you open the lid up just a crack, everything gushes out over. 

“I haven’t been able to think straight since I found out who my ancestors were and I’m having a major existential crisis about my identity and everything I’ve ever done leading up to this moment. Every time I shut my eyes, my head just goes on and on about how I am a complete phony and all my achievements were done by the fact that my DNA comes from a genius man who worked in the most ahead of its time civilization. When I think I’ve come up with an explanation for it, I just lapse back into the cycle and it’s driving me crazy,” I said as my voice wobbled a bit. “I mean take the core as an example, even if you were the one who found the liquid residue before me and figured out how to make it, it still wouldn’t have worked because you can’t activate it. So what if me finding it first wasn’t a coincidence and it’s just stored memories in the traces of my blood that led me to do it? What if everything I think and do in this lab is not me at all? Who am I anymore? I am so conflicted and sleep and food have become so unbearable because I worry now that even my actions and characteristics are all due to my ancestors. How do I know if it’s me or not? God, my mind is so foggy and clouded and I feel like I can’t even see straight.”

My rant had completely just toppled out of my mouth and I hadn’t realised how saying it out loud had caused my eyes to tear up and my throat to constrict. Even my hands were shaking a little. I’d just said it all to Dottore of all people. I couldn’t bare to look up because he was probably agreeing with everything I said and preparing to throw me out for being an idiotic, unintelligent person. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked gently.

I’ve never looked up so fast. My eyes widened at the puzzled expression on his face but the oh so tender look in his eyes. 

“Y/N, if there’s anything I’ve learnt in the past two weeks, it’s that I severely underestimated you. I don’t usually admit these things out loud but you’ve proven yourself to me and for that you have gained my respect which is why I feel obliged to tell you this,” started Dottore. “If it were someone else’s mind leading you to do the things you do, I certainly would’ve noticed. You are the only person who has brought these feats upon yourself and you know how I know that? Because throughout your life you’ve never known about your heritage which means that you’d never even acknowledged that side of yourself ever before. This leads me to believe that it couldn’t have been in control of you if you didn’t even allow the thought of it to enter your head. You are you, and only you. Stop endangering your health over it.”

His words were so bewildering to me I could only sit there and try to process it. Because, strictly speaking, he was basically right. I really had never thought of it before speaking to Pierro and I chose out of my own free will to study the Abyss. It really was just a happy coincidence that I happened to be from there. And only distantly too. Suddenly, my heart felt lighter and a weight on my shoulders had been lifted. 

“Were you worried I’d believe that nonsense and think you werea fraud?” He asked cocking his head to the side to catch my gaze. 

I looked away and responded quietly. “I didn’t want you to think I was anything less than what you already thought of me Dottore. I sort of had the idea that you thought I was just a means to an end and that I wasn’t even half as capable as I thought I was.”

“I suppose I might’ve accidentally given you that impression but I really wouldn’t have kept you by my side for this long if I hadn’t thought you weren’t capable. Even the queen believed you could rival me. Have you really spent all the this time just beating yourself up about it?”

“I mean kind of,” I whispered. I quickly wiped away a tear that rolled down my cheek. Crying in front of him too? I never cry. I haven’t cried since my childhood and that was because of something stupid. No one has ever asked me to tell them what I was going through because I wasn’t close enough to anyone. All my life it’s just been me, myself and I. This meant an awful lot to me and letting a tear slip in front of him didn’t feel as bad as I thought it would be. 

Dottore left the room and came back with a tissue and a small jar of white pills. He squatted down by my seat till his eyes were level with mine. Dottore handed me the tissue to which I quickly wiped the small runaway tears. He took me hand and placed the jar in my hand. 

“Sleeping pills. Take one before bed for the next couple of days so you can get back into your normal sleep schedule,” he said quietly. Before he stood up, he added: “Next time, if something is bothering you, don’t just be an idiot and bottle it up. You tell me and I’ll yell some sense in you, ok love?”

I smiled and nodded, after which he stood up and headed towards the door. How he could bring a smile to my face so easily was a miracle. My heartbeat quickened at the gesture. Dottore was actually volunteering to hear out my worries and he’d even gone as far as giving me sleeping pills. Surely this wasn’t the same guy as day one?

“And just so we’re clear, darling. Even if you’ve proven yourself to be capable of keeping up with me, I’m still the better scientist. Don’t you forget,” he smirked, looking back at me. Replanting the mask over his face he exited the room adding one more thing. “Take the rest of the day off and catch up on some sleep Y/N. I’ve got some errands to run.”

And so I did precisely that. One sleeping pill swallowed and I slept all the way till noon the next day. Ignoring the fact that I still had two weeks worth of sleep to catch up on, I felt so well rested. Today was the day of the ball and so all work was halted in preparation for it. The palace was buzzing with excitement and the feeling was rubbing off on me. Tonight I would be acknowledged for my feats in front of many important people. To think I’d come so far. Amazing. 

There was just one problem. I had nothing to wear. It seems this one detail had slipped my mind but then again I was extremely occupied questioning my existence. After I’d ordered and eaten my lunch, my plan was to go in search of someone who could provide me with something decent to wear but apparently it was not needed. 

Late in the afternoon, someone knocked on my door. At first, I thought it might be Dottore and I am a little ashamed at the way my heart deflated to see it wasn’t. A lady stood in front of me holding a box wrapped in glacier blue ribbons. 

“Afternoon General Y/N L/N. I come with a gift from Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa. She has asked that you wear this to the ball this evening. Enjoy,” she stated before handing me the box and walking off without hearing my reply. 

Why did it feel like she was giving me special treatment? Ok so I discovered the secret that would allow her to build an indestructible army but surely this was going overboard. I suppose I wasn’t complaining but I was certainly suspicious. I knew I was extraordinary but was this really necessary? I hope people didn’t start suspecting the Queen had chosen me as her star pupil. 

Once inside my room, I opened the package carefully and gasped aloud. This dress was beyond mesmerizing. It was long and left a short train behind it when I picked it up. 

It was a gorgeous blood red colour with a slit at the left leg. The bodice and waist were decorated in black diamonds and crescent shapes hung around the waist by chains. A V neckline plunged dangerously low and the sleeves were slightly puffy until the elbows where they changed into tight fitted sleeves. The back was completely open and most of the edges of the dress were lined with floral black lace.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was extravagant and sexy and was my exact size. The Tsaritsa had possibly the most incredible fashion sense in the nation. I couldn’t wait any longer as I glanced at the remaining content.

A pair of matching red heels lay comfortably at the bottom of the box. The heel was gold and branched upwards with leaves. Two smaller black boxes were left. The first contained a black masquerade mask that didn’t do much masking. It looked as if it were only lace but the material was sturdy and held its shape. Red stitching and small gems sparkled on it when held in the light. 

The second and final box contained jewelry. A gold ear cuff that wrapped around the ear like a thorny vine finished at the bottom of the lobe with a red rose. A necklace as tight as a choker glimmered and tempted me as it showcased the red teardrop ruby at the center. The finishing piece was a bracelet that connected to a chain that connected to a ring and each connection was linked with a red ruby. Red was obviously the theme she was going for. 

I have never gotten dressed so fast. By the time I was entirely dressed and looking glamorous, the sun had set and the lights around the palace were lit. I was starting to feel nervous jitters but it wasn’t like I could just not show up. As I was putting the box away, a piece of paper at the bottom caught my eye. How had I not seen this earlier? 

Once opened, it read:

You may only arrive in this dress if you take the hand offered to you. 

1. T. 

~~~

The ‘T’ was obviously the Tsaritsa signing off but what on earth did she mean by ‘the hand offered to you’? Hm… When was a hand offered during a ball? I suppose when you were being aided out of a carriage or… A request to dance. Is that what she meant? Accept the offer to dance? But who would ask me? She just had to make it a riddle, didn’t she? I might be smart but it only went as far as science. If I was wrong about this, I really hoped she wouldn’t just send me out of the venue. 

There was nothing left to do but head down to the exit and await my carriage. Once I’d arrived there, the place was swarming with other important looking figures all in fancy masks and elegant outfits. I suppose a masquerade ball was a smart theme with the way the Fatui were fond of masks.

Names were being called out by the drivers of each carriage. I strained my ears to catch my own name over the bustle and ruckus around me. Ah ha! There it is! The furthest carriage to the right.

“General Y/N L/N?” Asked the masked man as I approached the vehicle. 

I nodded as he opened the door and lent me a hand to get in. Heels were not usually my go to footwear so I only hoped I wouldn’t stumble and trip anytime tonight. 

The moment I was inside and could identify the passengers I was sharing with, I felt a nauseating wave of tension in here. 

Dottore sat on one side in a rich, dark navy, suit jacket that fell just past his waist, complimenting his light blue hair nicely. Metal clasps with chains held the jacket close like buttons and underneath a regal waistcoat hugged his strong physique. His hands were gloveless and a ring here and there decorated his scarred fingers. The infamous blue syringe looking earring on his right ear had been replaced by a dangling chain earring with a pointed arrow at the end. The look was completed with black trousers and boots as well as a black mask that was fitted to cover one half of his face and stopping just below his right eye, leaving the lower half and left side of his face completely uncovered. It reminded me of the phantom of the opera but much less scary looking. He made it work so well.

To conclude, he looked mouth wateringly beautiful and it was a struggle taking my eyes off him, especially with the way his crossed arms highlighted the strength in his biceps and the darkness illuminated his eyes. 

The only available seat was the one next to him to which I quietly sat down and nodded at him briefly in acknowledgment. Stay calm, Y/N. Be cool. Don’t let it show that you were just itching to rip the mask off and see him in his full beauty. He did a once over of me and I anxiously waited as his eyes connected with mine. His gaze was heated and seemed to blaze but his only response was to turn away from me and out the window. 

The tension I’d sensed earlier seemed to be between the Doctor beside me and the other gorgeous man sat opposite us. I’d never met him before but I’d seen him from a distance once on my way to the lab. His posture and expression screamed Harbinger. 

Whilst before I’d seen him wear glasses and walk around in the white Harbinger uniform, he was now dressed in an expensive looking suit embossed with diamond shapes and the collar of the long jacket he wore was studded with blue gems and lined in gold. His long black hair was lying over his shoulder and in his hand was a walking stick, at the top of it was a clear crystal ball that seemed to change colour whenever you looked away. In short, these men knew how to dress. 

“You must be General Y/N L/N. Delighted to meet you,” said the third man with a heavy Snezhnayan accent. He held out his gloved hand for me to shake. “I am General Ilya Petrov. I look forward to receiving an award alongside you tonight.”

Ilya smiled enthusiastically and his blue eyes glittered with genuine excitement. It was almost like he was a ray of sunshine and the two men beside us were glaring storms and lightning at each other. 

I shook his hand without returning the smile. My instinct to hide my expression took over. 

“The pleasure is all mine. If I’m not mistaken, that makes you Lord Pantalone. Correct?” I asked boldly as I turned to the black haired man.

For the first time tonight he acknowledged me, greeting me with a close eyed smile that seemed way more intimidating than I would’ve liked. 

“Indeed. As observative as ever General. You’ve been the talk of the palace recently, apologies for not introducing myself earlier,” said Pantalone as he took my hand and kissed it rather than shaking it. It was a surprise to say the least but I betrayed no such emotion. 

“Nonsense, you need not feel burdened to introduce yourself to someone such as I. I’m honored to know that you already recognize me. Congratulations on the award tonight. Both you and General Ilya,” I spoke politely. 

Pantalone raised an eyebrow, seeming almost impressed. He glanced over at Dottore briefly before nodding a smile at me and turning to the window on his side of the carriage. Our carriage came to a start as we made our way to the Ammil manor house.

Chapter Text

The ride to the manor house was awkward and quiet. Poor Ilya tried his best to make friendly conversation but the two Harbingers across from us appeared to have an unspoken rule that one must not speak but glare with the intensity to split a mountain in half. 

So I resorted to watching out the window as we drove through a snow haven. The carriage was strangely warm despite the heavy fall of snow outside. We drove past cities and villages in the distance and their warm orange lighting gave the evening a cosy feel. As i said before, going outside wasn't something very frequent for me but now i'm realising how much i truly missed out on here.

The carriage ran over a bump in the road causing it to shake and my body involuntarily ended up leaning right up against Dottore. He looked pissed so I shuffled away as fast as I could but there was only so much space. 

~~~

Dottore's POV:

Our legs are touching and she's right there. Her arm and chest are pressed right by my side, at the rate my heart is going it wouldn't be far fetched to say it'll stop before we get there.

The only thing I could do was glare at her because it was my natural instinct to threaten death upon people that got too close. Pantalone knew that all too well so if i were to make a joke about it like i was just about to, he definitely would've been suspicious. 

She looked so beautiful tonight. Heavenly. I hardly had enough time to actually take in the entire view before it got too suspicious but god i wanted to hold her and keep her all to myself. Nobody else should have the pleasure of seeing her dressed so spectacularly. My fingers were just itching to wrap around her waist and pull her close. 

This look was so different to her usual attire I almost didn't recognise her. Her hair was done up in a way I'd never seen before and her lips were painted rouge like poppies and roses. It was getting harder to breathe in here the further we went. Geez how much longer?

The insufferable man sitting opposite me with his ridiculous smile and his ridiculous wealth, god he was just asking for a dissection. We've never liked each other. He couldn't bear it that the Tsaritsa favoured me over him because he lost the jacket he was supposed to gift her. Ha! How pathetic. It's even worse for him because nobody likes me which means if the Tsaritsa likes me more than him, that is saying a lot. 

My eyes strayed back to Y/N. She watched the view outside as we drove through the white hills and fields. Her eyes glittered behind the mask as if she'd never seen the outside world before. It was the exact look she had when we went riding a few weeks ago. We'd only been working together for such a short time and yet all I could think about was her. One day, I would tell her to accompany me on errands and we'll go riding through all these places on the way. I couldn't get enough of that happiness in her gaze. 

Ok. What is happening to me? Wanting to bring someone else happiness because it makes me happy? That one is completely new. This crush thing was so strange. I've never experienced anything like it. Not even the library had anything on the feelings and symptoms that are accompanied with having a crush on someone. Maybe I should write my own book to aid the poor souls that have to experience this terrifying experience.

Finally, the manor house was coming into view. I felt Y/N shift beside me to get a better view and the way her expression relaxed from the blank stare was so cute. Even she couldn't hide the extravagance of the Ammil Manor House. Whilst I did hate balls and social gatherings, this place was made for royalty and no one else. 

~~~

Y/N's POV:

There is no way you could call THAT a manor house. This was just another palace and it was nestled in between two high snow blanketed hills, almost like it was snuggled into a valley. A long queue of carriages winded out of the archway entrance and their soft glow illuminated the many trees that hid this dirt path from view. Everything about this place gave me the impression that it was supposed to be a secret, hidden castle in the mountains. Probably for protection but it was still so magnificent. Soldiers lined the sides of the roads and each held an oil lamp in one hand and a glacial spear in the other. These were the Tsaritsa's royal guard. Not that she really needed them of course, she was the almighty archon. 

"Have you ever been here before General?" Asked Ilya across from me.

"No I haven't. I only joined the Fatui around 3 weeks ago, so naturally I wouldn't have had the honour to be invited to such a place," I responded. 

"It is truly mesmerising, no? After all, I did aid in the funding and decorating of the manor house," added Pantalone. 

"You did? Incredible. You truly have a good eye, my Lord," I complimented. I felt Dottore roll his eyes beside me to which I had to battle to conceal a smile. The way Dottore found everyone ridiculous and irritating was hilarious to me. 

Pantalone smirked handsomely at me to which I glanced away quickly. I hoped my compliment didn't come off as anything more than just a compliment. I really didn't know how to converse with my superiors and that was evident from the way me and Dottore talked much of the time. 

The wait to reach the entrance was agonising as i was just itching to see the inside of this palace. Despite the dark atmosphere of the evening, turrets were visible from the top of the palace and my theories were that this might've been someone's castle once upon a time. 

Eventually after a tiring wait, we were through and the carriage circled around a water fountain frozen into ice till we reached the red carpeted stairs leading up to the grand double door entrance. The men exited the carriage first and upon stepping out, Dottore extended his hand to me. 

"Oh? I didn't take you as a gentleman, Dottore," I joked. 

"Just come on," he said with an eye roll. 

I smirked before taking his hand and carefully stepping down. He pulled me closer until his arm was linked with mine and he led me towards the doors. Many others were partnered up in the same way but I still couldn't keep the questioning look out of my eyes as I stared at him. My heart was beating erratically at the close proximity and I was secretly extremely happy to be the one on Dottore's arm. 

"Quit staring, this is just polite etiquette. I already have a bad enough reputation as it is, if they found out I was a rude gentleman, heaven forbid the world might come crashing down," he grumbled.

"I didn't think you cared much about your reputation," I said as we were greeted with a bow by a royal attendant. 

"I don't. But Pierro and Her Majesty said that we still need to uphold a decent enough image. Especially in Snezhnayan society. There are all sorts of people here tonight, not just Fatui. Business men and women, members of various Ministries around Teyvat and people the queen wants to keep close by. Basically, don't embarrass me tonight," he finished. 

“Me? Embarrass you? I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said with a little sarcasm.He gave me a warning glance in response.

I had no idea how many people would be here. A set of double golden staircases with blazing red carpets led up to another beautiful door that was wide open. The sound of chatter and clinking of glasses could be heard from out here. 

Suddenly I felt anxious. Social gatherings were not something I attended often and the last ball I'd been to was in Liyue when I was tasked with trailing a guest there. I was taught all the dances and was trained to look as normal as possible in order to blend in so I did know enough. But the thought of being stood in front of all of these people for the award ceremony had me exhaling a shaky breath. 

"Not getting cold feet are you?" Asked Dottore with a sneer. 

"No. I'm just not a fan of social gatherings. I guess I was just excited to be acknowledged properly for my achievements," I said, biting my lip and glancing around warily. 

"Chill out, love. You have a tendency to overthink things dont you? It's not half as scary as you think it is," he whispered close to my ear as we stood behind another queue of people on the stairs. 

A shiver ran down my spine as I felt him so close to me. I turned and our faces were inches apart. This seemed to be happening quite often recently and it was making me flustered. My eyes subconsciously flitted down to his lips and I cursed myself for making it so obvious. Dottore looked so fantastic tonight, it only highlighted the beauty of his face. His lips especially, with the soft Cupid’s bow and light pink tint. I couldn’t look away fast enough. Moments like these have been replaying in my mind over the past couple of days. I hadn't realised how much he was on my mind. 

I exhaled and nodded a little at his words. He narrowed his eyes at me before we continued up the stairs until we reached the doors. He didn’t seem convinced that my worries had disappeared. The man and lady in front of us gave their names to the herald to which he announced their arrival. 

You mean, everyone would be staring at us when we walked in? Spectacular. 

Dottore needed no introduction when we stepped up and apparently neither did I. 

"Presenting guests of honour: Il Dottore, No.4 of the Fatui Harbinger and General Y/N L/N, Second-in-command to the fourth," he said out loud. 

My expression was cold as steel and I could feel Dottore stand up to his full height making him all the more intimidating. Hundreds of masked faces turned to look at us one by one as I exhaled my worries and held my head high. Their eyes widened with a mix of fear and awe. It only lasted a moment before Dottore led me down another set of stairs taking us down to the level of the other guests. 

This celebration hall was beyond anything I could describe. Chandeliers twinkled and glimmered on the ceiling and windows in the shape of archways ran along the left and right walls. The ceiling above us was a large clear dome just like the one in the palace library but this one was made to showcase the boldly bright moon in the sky. It was all so bewitching, and there were already so many guests present. 

An orchestra played glass instruments in one corner and servants in their own masks walked around carrying trays of wine glasses. There was no end to the extravagance of it all. I glanced out the nearby window to view a steep valley and a river of ice down below. The moon reflected on all the shiny surfaces below, illuminating the environment in a white glow. 

In the centre of the hall, people had already begun dancing to the music. The celebrations were well under way.

I glanced up at Dottore to view his reaction of the place but he was already looking at me with adoration and a cute smile. 

"It's almost as if you’ve never been outside before," he chuckled. 

"Oh hush. Can you blame me for staring? I've never seen anything like it," I responded.

A nearby group of people gawked at me with terror in their eyes at the way I'd just spoken to Dottore. I hurriedly pulled him forward and out of their view before someone dropped a glass out of pure shock. 

Grabbing a wine glass from a nearby servant, I continued to admire the interior of the place. We walked till we reached the end of the hall and a wide balcony was open to view the entire valley outside. Breaking off Dottore's arm, I hurried to the balcony to look over the view. 

My eyes widened and I couldn't contain the gasp that escaped my lips. "Holy shit."

Mountains upon mountains soared to the skies and small villages clung to the snowy expanse before me with little orange lights. That wasn't even the best part. My eyes flitted up to the night sky to witness an entire galaxy of stars sprinkled in the moonlight. A beautiful gradient of astral blue created a hypnotic backdrop effect. The bluish colour created a glowing fog over the mountains. 

"There'll be a meteor shower tonight," said Dottore, joining my side with his own glass of wine. His eyes ran over the view with a hint of admiration. The reflection of the stars in his eyes made him look all the more attractive.

“Are the queens balls always this enchanting?” I asked him.

“Enchanting? Well, I suppose so. She has an eye for pretty things,” replied Dottore with a knowing gleam in his eye. He smiled down at me before gesturing to head back inside. What was that all about? Sometimes it felt like a huge secret was being hidden from me with the way all these Harbingers had reacted to meeting me. 

Once we were back inside, a Fatui pyro agent appeared by Dottore’s side and whispered something to him. Dottore scowled immediately before glaring the agent away.

“I’ve been summoned by Pierro. Harbinger duties. Enjoy the night darling,” he said before walking off into the crowd. Dottore joined the other Harbingers stood near the centre and it was impossible not to notice the way they all stood out. 

Their clothes put the rest of the guests to shame. La Signora wore the most eye-catching and seductive dress with feathers and fur and an alluring mask. All the female Harbingers were dressed to impress whereas as the males were dressed to terrify. They were the boot and the guests were the ants. The guests mingling nearby couldn’t help but stare in awe but also shuffle a little further away. These were the most feared people in Teyvat after all. I couldn’t help but feel proud of Dottore being among them. 

Out of nowhere, a fanfare began playing from the top of the stairs. The guests fell into silence as a wave of chilly air breezed through the hall. She was here. 

“Announcing the arrival of the royal monarch, Queen of Snezhnaya, the Tsaritsa!” Yelled the Herald.

The moment she stepped forward, the guests clapped and cheered. I clapped respectfully and watched as she stepped forward with the epitome of elegance. 

Her silver blue hair fell in gorgeous curls down her back. She was the only one not wearing a mask and it was the most perfect decision because her piercing grey eyes were decorated with swirls of white eyeliner and her lips glistened with an iridescent shine. A sharp diamond tiara sat atop her head and the off shoulder, tight fitted white dress gushed a silky cape from the shoulders down, leaving a trail behind as she walked. The dress hugged her figure till it jutted out past the knees. The tips of her fingers were covered by gauntlet looking claws in silver patterns. Nobody in this room could top this look. 

“You are all present here today to celebrate my reign as your Queen. Enjoy the celebrations and dance to your hearts content, my subjects,” spoke the Tsaritsa.

“Long live the queen!” Yelled the crowds of people. 

Her expression didn’t shift yet I could feel the air cool as if she were satisfied. She walked down the stairs until she came to a stop where a line of eleven harbingers all knelt to one knee before her. 

“Harbingers,” she only said with a nod of acknowledgment. “Rise.”

All in unison they stood and surrounded her. It was almost as if she were the mother of the family or the favorite auntie at a reunion. I never realised how close they all were with her. Evidently they respected her a lot. After a brief conversation they parted to allow her to step forward.

“My subjects, please gather for the award ceremony. The festivities will continue afterwards,” her voice boomed around the hall.

A female servant appeared behind me and whispered to me to follow her. I ended up standing just across from the queen and right beside the other Generals listed on the invitation card. Ilya stood beside me as well as a girl in a beautiful emerald green dress who I presumed was General Layla Ahmed, Signora’s second in command. 

“Isn’t this exciting?” Whispered Layla to the both of us. “I can’t believe the Queen herself has acknowledged our efforts.”

She looked fairly young and was beaming in a way that made her eyes crinkle happily beneath the mask. I smiled back and agreed with her as the guests hushed down and the Tsaritsa stood with her hands clasped in front of her. 

“Tonight, our guests of honour will be awarded a medal of achievement to acknowledge their mighty efforts to the Fatui and my cause. These people have brought us one step closer to our goal and will be burned in our memories as heroes,” she motioned with her hand for a nearby attendant to hand bring forward a box. “Il Dottore. General Y/N L/N. Come forth.” 

I could hear my heart hammering against my chest as Dottore appeared by my side with cool expression. His eyes met mine and he nodded a little as we both stepped forward, side by side. Going down to one knee, we bowed our heads before her. 

“Il Dottore and Y/N L/N. You have worked tirelessly to engineer an army capable of destroying our world many times over and for that I have acknowledged your efforts and contributions. Take these medals of honour as a sign of my gratitude,” she said firmly. 

First, the archon approached Dottore and pinned a medal to his jacket. She leaned forward and whispered something into his ear to which he couldn’t conceal the genuine surprise in his face. His eyes were wide as his jaw tensed and he glanced at her with searching eyes. She only stared back with a strong intensity before a hint of amusement settled in her gaze. It happened so fast that I almost thought I imagined it but Dottore glanced at me quickly and back to the Queen before him. What on earth had she said to him?

The Tsaritsa swiftly moved towards me and her expression seemed to soften just the tiniest bit. What did she see in me that made her act like this? This had all begun after she read my palm. I couldn’t understand what the reason for it was. 

She pinned the medal above my chest and captured me with her gaze. 

“You wore the dress. Now you must keep up your end of the bargain, child,” she whispered. 

I studied her expression and that same amusement etched her features. I smiled with narrowed eyes before nodding and bowing my head once more. We retreated to allow the next pair their place in the spotlight. Honestly it was such a relief getting that out of the way. 

Once we were back in the sidelines and out of the way, I looked up to see Dottore looking extremely conflicted. His eyes were narrowed and studying the Queen with a perplexed expression.

“What did she say? You look kind of disturbed,” I joked.

“Huh? Oh… Uh nothing,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. He blushed, actually blushed at me and it was the single most adorable thing I’ve seen him do. 

The award ceremony went by fairly quickly and soon the celebrations were back in full swing. The chatter through the hall slowly returned to a higher volume and the dances had begun. 

I’d ended up in a circle of Generals and Lieutenants who I’d never met before. They all conversed happily and discussed their recent affairs. I sipped some white wine and tried to remain present and actually listen but socializing wasn’t my forté. I’d much prefer being left alone and so I excused myself from the group and weaved in and out of crowds till I found myself standing at the edge of the circle where couples danced joyously. They looked like they were having so much fun and whilst I was enjoying myself to a certain extent I couldn’t get comfortable. 

Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see the familiar ginger hair of a familiar 11th Harbinger. 

“Childe. To what do I owe the pleasure?” I spoke. 

“You're always so formal, Y/N. Relax! You should enjoy yourself tonight, because you won’t be getting a day off anytime soon,” he chuckled. “Loosen up, your shoulders are all tense. Tonight is your night, you’re a guest of honour!”

Childe gripped my shoulders and ran his hands up my arms to ‘loosen me up’. I raised an eyebrow at him as he chuckled. Suddenly I felt a chill run down my spine, as if someone was staring daggers in our direction. Glancing around, my eyes met with a pair of familiar red eyes from across the room. He stood in all his glory with a glass in his hand amidst a group of other Harbingers. He didn’t seem to be listening to the conversation however because he was too busy staring over the glass he was sipping at the way Childe had his hands on my arms. Childe followed my line of sight.

His eyes were trained on Childe with a burning intensity in his gaze. 

“Oh no. Looks like I’ve upset a certain someone,” whispered Childe as he leaned closer to me with a smirk. “You know… He’s been looking at you for quite sometime now.”

“Has he really?” I asked skeptically. 

“Uh yes Y/N, he has. I’m surprised you didn’t notice earlier. People have actually been quite curious as to what the relationship between you two is like. Talk of your report about him to the Tsaritsa sort of became the gossip of the palace,” replied the Harbinger with his own interest. 

“Ugh people are much too absorbed in rumors around here. I said what I said and I meant it. There’s nothing more to it,” I stated, stepping away from Childe’s grip. 

He cocked his head sideways with a gleam in his eyes. “So it isn’t true that you two eat lunch together and are basically never apart during the day?”

I could still feel Dottore’s hawk eyes watching us and it was slightly distracting. What Childe had just said only just got processed. 

“I- uh well no that is true but I’m supposed to be around him to do my job. And he can be quite enjoyable company during our lunch breaks,” I said quickly looking over at where he was standing. Dottore was gone. He was no longer across the hall and I couldn’t seem to locate him. 

Childe smirked knowingly before glancing at something behind me. His eyes widened a little bit before he said: “Lovely chat, Y/N. I think it’s time I take my leave.”

He bowed his head with a smile and stalked off faster than I would’ve liked. 

“I’m going to kill that ginger,” said a voice behind me. I jumped at the familiar sound. Turning around, I was met with an angry looking Dottore who was still glaring at Childe’s retreating figure. 

I laughed. “It seems you're enjoying the night then?”

The thought that Dottore had been looking at me from a distance for some time now gave me butterflies all over. My mind was entirely too distracted by him. I’d never had someone invade my thoughts in the way he did.

“Oh yes, I’m having the time of my life,” he deadpanned with a bored expression.

“Hmm, why don’t you try your hand at dancing?” I suggested.

At this he remained quiet. He watched me with a curious expression that made my skin tingle. I didn’t really like the idea of him dancing with someone else but I did want him to have fun.

“I might. But only if it’s you who dances with me,” responded Dottore in an almost question like tone. 

I was stunned to the spot. My eyes widened. Dottore offered his hand to me with a hesitant expression in his face. I glanced down at his hand. Was this what she meant? ‘Take the hand offered to you.’ Instinctively, I glanced over to where the Tsaritsa stood and my heart dropped to see she was already watching us with a keen gaze. There was my answer. I couldn’t exactly say no to him and truthfully I really didn’t want to. The idea of dancing with him was so exciting.

I exhaled and slipped my hand into his. I could see the relief and happiness in his eyes which in turn made me all the more happy. 

“You do know how to dance though, right?” I asked with a skeptical smile.

“Already doubting me, Y/N. I’m hurt,” he said with feigned pain. We walked to the circle as the recent dance just finished. Taking our places opposite each other, I could hear the audible gasps and whispers of people nearby. Suddenly I felt self conscious. Was it really ok for just a general to dance with a Harbinger?

Dottore reached forward and tilted my head up to look at him by the chin. “Try not to look so glum that you're dancing with me, love.”

At that I smiled. “How could I not if I know that once I tread on your toes, it’ll be off to the surgical table for dissection?”

His eyes glittered with amusement as I curtsied and he bowed. The other couples around us did the same, but I could tell people were staring. Even the Tsaritsa was watching with eyes of a hawk. 

We closed the distance between us and my stomach did a backflip when his hand gripped my waist strongly and his other hand held my own up. I couldn’t stop the blush from heating my cheeks. Internally, I was giggling and squealing like a little girl who just became a princess. 

I gathered the courage to look up at him as the music started. Dottore’s gaze was burning with intensity and it was hypnotic. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. This heated look he was staring at me with had my heart stopping every other beat. We swayed to the music, following the steps exactly. He took control and kept me in perfect unison with him. 

“As you can see, I’m a master at dancing. Try and keep up with me darling,” he said in a quiet tone that only I could hear.

“Why don’t you try to keep up with me?” I smirked as he spun me around. I decided to give the people a show seeing as they were already talking. 

There was enough space around us that I could change up the steps and pull Dottore with me. His bare hands wrapped around me and rested on my exposed back, sending a shiver down my spine. I placed my own hand on his shoulder and the other was held in his hand. This time, I used all the space to twirl us around and he let go of my hand so I could spin out and come back into my arms. 

I laughed at the fun of it, who knew dancing could be so fun. He was smiling down at me and his fingers on my back were sending electric shocks through me, energizing me. His eyes ran over the length of my body until his heated gaze was back on mine.

Dottore leaned down till his mouth was beside my ear.

“Red looks good on you,” he whispered. 

My heartbeat was all over the place. He thought I looked good? I inhaled sharply at the electrifying tension between us.

Once he pulled back, he left little space between us. Dottore’s eyes flickered down to my mouth and I couldn’t fight the instinct to lick my lips. His attention on me was driving me crazy. He swallowed as his eyes darkened. The smallest push and our lips would’ve met and yet i was unsure if now was the right time. Our breaths mixed as we slowly inched closer to one another. 

Just as I brought my lips closer to his, the music stopped. My eyes widened at the way we’d completely lost ourselves in the moment. His did too as we both took a step back from each other. My cheeks burned at the thought that we almost kissed in front of the entire of Snezhnayan high society and the literal queen. 

Despite this fact, I still felt immensely disappointed because if it weren’t for the awkward abrupt stop of the music I would have kissed him regardless of the audience present. I knew they were all whispering and staring at us in shock. 

Dottore looked just as disappointed as I did which made me feel all nervous again. To make up for it, he lifted my hand to his lips and placed a kiss on my knuckles, never breaking eye contact.

It was nice to see him bow down to me. As he should. This would only make up for half of the shit he put me through at the start of our meeting. I smirked at him with a flirtatious gaze to which he smiled back with an even more seductive expression. What on earth did this mean though? Were my feeling for him actually reciprocated? Did he actually like me in the romantic sense? Ugh this was so confusing. I mean, you wouldn’t get that close to someone if you didn’t feel something more, right?

He didn’t let go of my hand. Instead he pulled me with him through the crowd until the short man I’d met in the library stopped us. In the meantime, people pointed and I heard my name and his be uttered under their breaths. 

“Ah Dottore! And General Y/N! I insist that you join us in our group over there. I’m sure you have yet to meet the other Harbingers,” said Pulcinella.

Dottore pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to eliminate the vexed manner of which his face was turned. He exhaled before smiling a fake smile at Pulcinella.

“Why ever not?” He said with false excitement.

Pulcinella knew exactly what he was doing and he smiled with false naivety as he led the way to his group.

“The night will likely be ruined now. I suppose we made the most of it,” said Dottore in a hushed tone as we followed Pulcinella. He’d linked his arms with mine rather than holding my hand which might’ve led to some misunderstandings.

He seemed so calm after what just happened and yet I was still on fire and my thoughts were going at 100mphs. I could still feel the way his fingers had grazed my bare skin and the way he smelt like fresh lemons and mint. I wondered what he was thinking about all that. I studied him a little bit and caught the briefest hint of a blush on his cheeks. 

“Come now, you can’t mean that about your colleagues. ,” I said.

As we walked, I ever so briefly caught small movement out of the corner of my eye. Almost like a black shadow appeared and disappeared just as fast. I stopped walking to glance around me, feeling a little unnerved. 

“Something wrong, love?” Asked Dottore as he grabbed another wine glass.

“No. Just thought I saw something,” I said distractedly. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Let’s keep going.”

I knew so little of the events that would follow after the strike of midnight. 

Chapter Text

Dottore was right. There was a meteor shower. It happened shortly after the dance and the dome perfectly showcased the entire scene for the guests. Oohs and aahs could be heard from all around the room and many scrambled to get outside and onto the balcony for the best view. It was truly a sight to behold but it was over quite quickly and soon everyone was back into their little groups, chattering away. The orchestra continued to play music and whilst before it was slow and classical, now they were playing jazzy music. The mood of the room was immediately uplifted. 

I was currently stood in between Dottore and Pulcinella. The rest of the group with us was made up of Pierro, Arlecchino, Scaramouche and Columbina. All of these people had officially introduced themselves to me and it felt weird that they all felt the need to make themselves known to me. Arlecchino was incredibly polite and Columbina's conversation skills were great as she ensured everyone was included in the talk. Scaramouche was hardly paying attention as he swirled the wine in his glass around and looked bored as ever. 

Eventually even the Tsaritsa joined us. 

"Thoughts on the evening?" She asked as she approached. 

We all bowed respectfully and one by one, the Harbingers complimented the theme choice and congratulated her on her long reign. 

"Y/N, how have you found the ball so far?" Asked the Tsaritsa.

She was sort of putting me on the spot, especially as I felt out of place here with all the high ranking Fatui members. She seemed quite happy that her Harbingers were enjoying themselves and they all watched me in anticipation, awaiting my answer. 

As I opened my mouth to reply, something flashed in the sky and exploded in pink and purple. Fireworks. All the guests turned to watch the show that had unexpectedly begun. People laughed and pointed at the various colours and designs. 

"Strange. The fireworks weren't supposed to be until much later," muttered the Tsaritsa, with a frown.

Some of the Harbingers glanced warily at each other. What was going on? The Harbingers in front of me that had a view of the stairs all shifted their gaze to the entrance. I turned to see a handful of soldiers streaming in and weaving through the crowds in our direction. 

Something is wrong. I glanced up at Dottore with a frown as he registered the strange tension in the air and the sudden appearance of the royal guard. The Tsaritsa stiffened and the air around us grew chilly. A Fatui Pyro Agent appeared out of the ground beside Pierro and whispered something in his ear. Simultaneously, the royal guards reported something to the Tsaritsa in hushed tones. 

Pierros eyes widened with alarm. His eyes flickered to the Queen who showed a similar reaction. Then, their eyes were on me. 

"Dottore. Take the General and leave immediately. There's no time to explain. You need to get to safety," ordered Pierro. 

The Tsaritsa nodded and whispered something back to the guards.

"Harbingers, ready your weapons. A multitude of soldiers were found unconscious around the manor house. The situation has been compromised. We will go about this calmly and discreetly," said the Tsaritsa. "I will have the guests evacuate and you will work to contain the situation-"

An explosion sounded outside. The chandeliers shook and clashing of weapons echoed around from beyond the doors. 

"Dottore, you need to leave now! Take the back exit and go!" Yelled Pierro over the worried screams of the guests. 

I was so confused and anxious. What was happening? How did this have anything to do with me? There was no time to get a word out before Dottore took my hand and pulled me through the crowds. We heard the smashing of glass nearby and more rattling that led to the candle lights flickering. 

"What's happening?" I asked as we neared the stairs. 

Guests had already begun to panic and some were pushing their way through to the stairs. 

"I think they're here to kill you and Pierro. Did he mention that there would be attempts on your life after you spoke? Attacks like these can't be executed without a higher power at work, the Tsaritsa wouldn't let it happen. Which means, you're in significant danger. Just a theory though," spoke Dottore as we reached the top of the stairs. 

Just a theory? I could be assassinated at any moment and he was throwing around this idea but it was just a theory? Splendid!

An explosion went off at the main entrance and the Fatui Agents working to protect it were sent flying back. A fire was blazing at the door and was slowly inching its way up through the carpet on the staircase. The attackers still weren't visible. Dottore cursed under his breath and led me to the right where a dark corridor was visible. Just as we were almost out of direct danger, something flew over our heads and in between us at high speeds. Daggers. Lodged into the walls. We'd barely escaped them at all.

"Shit. We have to hurry, come on."

We ran through the corridor which seemed to display artefacts in glass cases and art on the walls. Once we'd turned the corner, black shadows trailed closely behind us. The heels I wore only slowed me down but we were still running at a fairly good speed. 

Instantly, two figures came leaping out of the walls and were dressed as Fatui Pyro Agents. But their masks were gone and underneath was just black. They were completely faceless shadows. Was this how they infiltrated the manor?

Instinctively, I summoned the guns into my hands and shot the oncoming enemies in the forehead. 

"Behind you, Y/N!" Warned Dottore. 

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention as I spun on my heels to face the intruder behind me. I pressed the gun to its chest and pulled the trigger. 

My heart was beating fast with fear and when I glanced up at the face of the shadow, a white eerie smile had warped its face. It whispered something to me before I felt it. 

"You should have gone for the head," it had said. 

"Y/N, let's go! There'll be more coming. The exit is right there," yelled Dottore. "We don't have time to fight them!"

I watched the shadow man crumple to the ground and wither away before my hand went to my stomach. Blood. Pain. Red stained dagger on the floor. 

"...Y/N? What's the matter?" Asked Dottore.

The adrenaline could only do so much to dull the pain. I turned slowly as my breathing became laboured and my vision fuzzied around the edge. 

Dottore paled, his eyes wide with terror. 

"You were right. Red does look good on me," I joked, almost laughing yet it twisted into a sad groan of pain.

My hand was pressed to my abdomen and suddenly I could hardly feel my legs. I knew I was swaying dangerously and Dottore was in front of me saying something I couldn't hear. Ah the nostalgia. Seems like only yesterday he was nursing me back from a fever.

I blinked and my face was in his hands. 

"Keep your eyes open, love. You're going to be fine. I need you to stay awake for as long as possible. Can you do that?" He asked brushing stray hairs away from my face and picking me up in his arms. 

The movement caused me to clench my teeth in discomfort. I was panting now and I could tell I'd lost a lot of blood. The wound was assaulting my brain with pain and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. My eyes filled with tears, the agony of it all becoming so overwhelming.

Dottore called my name a couple of times but I was struggling to form a coherent sentence. 

"I'm… Awake. I'm awake," I croaked. "God this hurts so fucking much."

"I know, I know. Please hold on. I'll fix it all soon. Please just stay with me," his voice said desperately.

I was swimming between the lines of consciousness and unconsciousness now. All I could see was black and the sounds were fading. It felt strangely calm now. The stab wound in my stomach was still throbbing with torment but I felt like I was floating in a black abyss. And it was so quiet. I found myself bathing in the peacefulness. I could vaguely hear sounds in the back of my mind but nothing could pull me out of this state anymore. I knew I was stuck here. I don't know for how long but I hoped I'd be able to open my eyes once more. 

Chapter Text

I don’t know how long I was floating in the darkness. It felt as if I was slowly slipping away and my mind was fading. Some time later, the black walls that contained me stirred with colour. It was a small change at first until I felt my eyes were able to open and I felt the air rush into my lungs with ease. I thought floating in that abyss was good and that it was calm and painless but the moment the oxygen had intruded my body, I felt how suffocating it was in that place in my head. 

My eyelids were heavy and opened ever so slightly, allowing natural light to fill my vision. I was staring up at the ceiling of an unfamiliar room and my brain was so empty I thought I was actually dead. A sound tugged me back into reality. The shuffling of feet ahead of me had me lifting my head till I could attach a name to the sound. 

He was walking back and forth, running a hand through his blue locks and his eyes were bloodshot and tired. The poor man looked distraught with worry and once I was able to get my thoughts going, his name popped into my head. Dottore. The person I was happiest to see alive and kicking. But of course he would be alive, why wouldn’t he be? What was I forgetting? 

My eyes curiously gazed around to see I was in a completely new room. It was obviously someone’s bedroom but not mine. This one was large and furnished and fit for only the most important people. So, Dottore’s room huh? Which means… I was currently laying in his bed. 

My eyes flitted down to see I was out of the dress and wearing a crisp white shirt much too big for me. I felt a bandage was wrapped around my stomach and the skin there felt sensitive to everything. I inhaled much too quickly causing a sharp stab at my stomach. I winced. The pain slowly had the memories rushing in like a bountiful waterfall.

I nearly died. A shadowy creature I couldn’t identify had stabbed me after the ball and now I was here. Alive. Probably thanks to Dottore. 

“Hi,” I said simply. 

It seems I’d scared the poor man out of his skin as he jumped at the sound of my voice. Dottore turned to me ever so slowly before rushing to my side with worry creasing his eyes. His hair was a mess from running his hand through it so much but he still looked as beautiful as ever. Despite my condition, I couldn’t stop my eyes from trailing down to the unbuttoned shirt and joggers he wore. Oh my. How scandalous.

I tried to sit up, grimacing a little at the rustiness I felt in my limbs. Dottore helped me up and placed a cushion behind my back as I waited for him to say something. 

“You absolute imbecile!” He yelled. 

I don’t know what else I was expecting to be perfectly honest. He wasn’t one to say hello or how are you.

“Yes, I missed you too darling,” I replied with a sad smile. 

Dottore exhaled and ran a hand over his face before his expression twisted into pain and hurt. 

“Why would you do something like that?” He whispered with a heart wrenching sharp edge to his voice. Dottore was truly terrified. 

“I would’ve protected you. Why did you throw yourself into the battle like that?! You were losing so much blood and your heart stopped at one point and I didn’t know what to fucking do Y/N! This is all my fault. I haven’t been able to stand still and I was so fucking scared you wouldn’t wake up-“

After all the physical pain I endured, it was now the hurt in my heart at hearing his strained voice. I’d never seen him like this ever and his hands were shaking. My throat tightened at the sight of him.

The only thing I could do was lean forward to the best of my ability, and pull him into my arms. His face was nuzzled into my neck as I stroked his hair tenderly. He had cute little curls at the base of neck that I fiddled with as he wrapped his arms lightly around my waist. 

“None of that matters anymore. I’m here now and I’m awake and I’m alive and it’s all thanks to you Dottore. If you say that any of this was your fault one more time, I will personally burn your lab to cinders. Is that clear?” I whispered. It was me doing the threatening this time. Oh how the tables have turned. 

I felt his lips smile against my neck and my heart fluttered at the thought that I’d made him grin. We stayed there for a few more minutes, me holding him dearly. I pulled back to check the expression he wore and his eyes looked less burdened. My hands were still wrapped around his neck and my fingers still played with the little hairs at the back of his neck. 

I smiled at him softly. God, he was so beautiful and if I knew what love felt like at all, I would’ve been sure that I was head over heels for this man. Golden sunlight streamed into the room from the many windows and the glow around him was nothing compared to his handsome features. 

“Don’t ever do that again. Please,” his voice cracked as he cupped my cheek. His thumb ran comforting circles over my skin. 

My breath caught in my throat which was probably dangerous with how close I was to death recently but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore because Dottore closed the space between us and his lips were on mine and he was kissing me. He was all the oxygen I needed. His lips were just as soft as I predicted they’d be and he kissed me so gently with so much depth that my mind went blank. 

All the words in the dictionary couldn’t accurately describe the way I felt in this moment. His hand shifted till it was at the back of my head and tangled in my hair. I never wanted to move on from this moment. 

We broke apart for air but if kissing him meant dying from lack of oxygen then I would gladly do it again and again. Dottore leaned forward again and placed a soft kiss on my bottom lip, then my top lip, and then the tip of my nose. My heart was soaring. 

He pressed his forehead against mine and shut his eyes, inhaling a deep breath. 

“I wanted to kiss you so badly when we danced,” he whispered. 

A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttered in my stomach. 

“You should’ve,” I whispered back. 

Dottore smiled and opened his eyes. He stared into my eyes and for once in my life, I let him see all of me through them. All my vulnerabilities, all my happiness, sadness, loneliness. I felt my eyes tear up because the lid was open. All the times I shut it all down tightly were unimportant now because it flowed out with no barrier. Nothing could stop the tears. 

I didn’t know why I was crying. I think the most of it was joy of being alive and being here with him, but a small part of it was loneliness. No one had ever touched me like he did or cared about me like he did. He was so special and I hated myself for not acknowledging it earlier. I was in denial for such a long time because I just couldn’t understand what I was feeling. He was unraveling me piece by piece.

“No, don’t cry my love. Shh,” he said as he pulled me into his lap carefully and held my head against his chest. I placed my hand over his heart to make sure he was really here. “I know it was scary but I’m here now. I’ll never let it happen again, ok?”

“It’s not that. I’m just so happy,” I admitted with a teary laugh. “Thank you Dottore. For everything.”

“Now hang on, why does it sound like you're saying goodbye,” he said anxiously, pulling back to see my face. 

“Oh I’m not going anywhere,” I said with a flirtatious smirk. “This bed is much too big for just you alone, don’t you think?”

The anxiety on his face washed away and was replaced with a hearty laugh. I loved it when he laughed. Especially when he was wasn’t wearing a mask because his whole face was basking in a bewitching happiness. 

“Oh darling, you can stay for as long as you like,” he whispered against my lips. 

He leaned in to kiss me but I placed a hand over his lips. “First, explain how I miraculously got out of the dress and into your shirt.”

It had only just occurred to me that I wore absolutely nothing but my underwear underneath the large shirt. 

“Ah… Well, it was that or leave you in a blood stained dress with a trendy rip right through the middle of it. Besides, I like you in my clothes the most,” explained Dottore with a heated gaze as his eyes looked me up and down. 

My eyes widened and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. I hid my face in his neck as he chuckled and ran a gentle hand over my hair. 

“As much as I’d like to keep you in my arms, you need rest Y/N. Lots of it. I stitched up the wound but a healer is coming later to try and fix the internal tissue properly,” he explained quietly. 

“Are you going to stay?” I asked. 

“I can’t, darling. Lots of stuff happened over the past two days. The Harbingers have been called for a meeting today with the Tsaritsa to discuss the security breach,” said Dottore as twirled a piece of my hair around his finger. 

I gasped, having completely forgotten the enormity of the situation. “Was anyone hurt?”

“Apart from you? No. Personally I think that’s unfair; I have a half a mind to go hurt a lot of people because of this,” he said angrily. 

Ah, there’s the Dottore I knew so well. I was glad he was still very much himself. 

“I’ll be back later, alright? The healer should arrive in the afternoon and if they’re late, you tell me so I can request for them to come to the graveyard instead,” said Dottore happily. 

I chuckled and nodded. He grabbed my chin and pulled me in for a deep kiss and when he pulled away he couldn’t help but lean back in again for a final peck. He didn’t seem to want to leave and he certainly wasn’t dressed to go anywhere. 

“Dottore. Go. I’ll be right here when you get back,” I said firmly. 

Dottore sighed before reluctantly laying me back down and walking over to his wardrobe. I am not even half ashamed to say that I watched him get out of his clothes with strong curiosity. The way his back muscles tensed and shifted as he pulled on a fresh shirt had me blushing way too hard. Don’t even get me started on his chest and arms. And his legs! 

He glanced over his shoulder as he pulled his white suit jacket on and I quickly pretended to cover my eyes. 

“I wasn’t looking, I swear,” I laughed. 

“Oh, it’s nothing you won’t be seeing in the near future,” he flirted. 

My jaw dropped. Was he always like this? I really wish I’d acknowledged my feelings for him much earlier because this? This is heaven. But wait a second…

“Uh Dottore? So I’ve been asleep for two days now, right? That means people know I’m in here,” I said. 

“It’s much too late to keep the rumors at bay now. I’m sorry,” he sighed. 

“No need to apologize, people were already talking as it is,” I said, picking at my nail. 

“You don’t… mind, though? Do you?” Asked Dottore.

“Not really. I was more worried about you. I mean you’re a well known figure with a lot of authority around here; I guess I was just worried that you might be annoyed that everyone knew what was between us,” I explained.

“To be perfectly honest love, we did make it quite obvious at the ball,” he said 

“Wait but what about the other Harbingers? And the Tsaritsa? Oh god… this is so embarrassing,” I whined into my hands.

“Actually, the Tsaritsa has known for a long time. It turns out the reason she acted so surprised after she read your palm was because she saw this coming,” he said gesturing to the air between us. “When she awarded me the medal, she told me ‘You better ask her to dance’ in a really threatening way which freaked me out as you had already noticed at the time. And the majority of the Harbingers had sort of predicted it themselves, the snaky bastards. If they give you any trouble at all, I’ll tear them to pieces.”

Oh. So, we were completely obvious to everyone except each other. How awkward. But there was still one thing I wanted to know for sure. 

“Dottore? This might sound weird but can you tell me how you feel about me just straight up? I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I just want to make sure everything between us is clear. I just don’t want to misunderstand,” I said a little nervously. 

“Aw don’t make me say it out loud, Y/N,” Dottore replied with a blush. 

“Please?” I pleaded. 

He sighed before walking over to me whilst buttoning up his jacket. Sitting down beside me, he took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“I have very strong romantic feelings for you and I have had them probably since the day you arrived here. I had absolutely no idea what I was feeling at the time and they left me very disturbed but the more you opened up to me, the more I wanted to know you and be around you and touch you. You’re on my mind 24/7 and it actually gets very inconvenient sometimes because I do need to be thinking about other stuff when it’s important. Is that clear enough for you?” Demanded Dottore.

“I- Yes, very. Thank you. I can confirm that I feel the exact same way but it just took me a little longer to realize because I was really stressed about lots of other things,” I admitted.

“That’s wonderful to know. Never put me in such an embarrassing position ever again please,” he smiled and patted my cheek. 

I laughed and Dottore’s eyes softened with adoration. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” I said, glancing away with a blush. 

“I love it when you laugh,” he whispered, taking my chin between his fingers and turning my face back to his. His eyes were so tender and kind, I was completely hypnotized. Unfortunately it had to be me to bring reality crashing back down because he had a meeting to get to. 

“That’s nice. Now go to the damn meeting,” I said, raising an eyebrow. 

“After all that and you’re still pushing me away? You wound me,” he gasped, turning away dramatically. I glared at him. “Alright, alright, I'm going geez.”

We said our goodbyes and eventually he left me alone in his room to reconcile and go over everything that had happened. 

~~~

Dottore’s POV:

So, I’m fucked.

We kissed and now it’s on replay in my mind and I’ve already walked in the wrong direction three times because I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. This is even worse than before. Before, I thought she hated me and had no hope of her actually feeling the same way but now she does and all I want to do is hole myself up in my room with her forever. 

Her lips are so soft and the way she looks at me is driving me crazy. How does she expect me to leave her side after she’s done this to me?

“Woah there, Dottore. Where are you going? The meeting is in here,” said Tartaglia, snapping me out of my trance. “Uh woah, you look terrible.”

“Shut your mouth, Ajax. Get inside,” I snapped at him.

“You’re crankier than usual today. Something happen?” He asked curiously. He looked into my eyes for about half a second before his eyes widened and he rushed inside the meeting room. 

“Ha ha! It happened people. Hand over the cash,” yelled the ginger. 

The Harbingers glanced at me one by one before Columbina and Sandrone groaned and pulled out a bag of coins, dumping it in his hand. Scaramouche soon followed and even Capatino passed him some money. 

“What. The fuck. Is going on here?” I demanded in a tone so low you could almost see the murderous intent radiating off me. 

Tartaglia turned around ever so slowly with a worried expression on his face.

“Childe made a bet that you and General Y/N would end up together before the end of the month. We thought it would take longer than that but he won I guess,” shrugged Columbina. 

“Oh he did, did he?” I turned my glare back to the 11th. I stalked towards him, my chains appearing out of anger. Grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him close, I whispered a threat. “If you come near her or even look in her direction ever again, I will pick you apart limb by limb and use your body parts as fire fuel. You know what? Don’t even say her name either.”

Childe’s eyes were wide with fear and the other Harbingers were stiff with tension. 

“That goes for the rest of you too. Leave her alone, got it?” I shouted. 

“Chill. We don’t care about your pathetic love life Dottore,” groaned Scaramouche. “Honestly, I wonder how you even got the girl to like you at all. I mean, your love language is probably sending jars of eyeballs to your partner. I wouldn’t be surprised if she loved that. She seems just as crazy as you do.”

I sent daggers at him with my eyes to which he held up his arms in a mocking surrender. 

“Everyone, be seated please.” Pierro had just entered and took his place around the circular table. The Tsaritsa strolled in as calm and swift as the breeze. Immediately I avoided any eye contact with her because she’d know immediately and make the situation even worse than it already was. 

We were all seated when she opened her mouth to speak. She paused, reconsidered and turned to Childe. 

“Well? Did you win?” She asked. 

I groaned out loud and ran a hand over my face. Some chuckled around me as Childe admitted to winning whilst glancing at me anxiously.

“Saw it coming before all of you did. Hand over the money Ajax,” said the Tsaritsa. All eyes were wide and jaws were dropped at her demands. Childe whined a little before pushing the bags of coins towards her. She smiled ever so slightly at me before gesturing to her attendants to take the money away. “Dottore managed to find himself a partner before all of you did, I don’t know what you’re teasing him about.”

“She’s right, you know,” added Pierro with a raised eyebrow. 

“Ha! How is it possible that even I managed to meet someone and all of you lot are still pathetically alone?” I laughed cruelly. 

“Why did you have to encourage him, Pierro?” Asked Arlecchino with a sigh. 

The meeting went by quickly after that, as everyone was eager to do their part in the search for the mysterious attackers that invaded the ball. Our goal was to rebel against Celestia and these creatures were obviously controlled by something close to that floating island. Therefore, it made sense that the Harbingers wanted them eliminated. The Tsaritsa had told me to remain on the sidelines for this one and wait for Y/N to recover as she had a special assignment for us later. She wouldn’t reveal a thing about it however. 

On my way back, I felt a weird sense of relief and genuine happiness. That was rare. Happiness wasn’t in my emotional vocabulary until Y/N. I hoped the healer had come by already. 

~~~

Y/N’s POV:

This was so awkward. I was sitting here in my underwear and a shirt that was obviously not mine whilst a lady with a hydro vision healed my stomach. She was nervous coming in because she was scared Dottore would chop her toes off if she even looked at him. These people really had the worst impression of him. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him to communicate with people here. 

“I really appreciate you doing this, miss. But how much longer? I’m starting to get pins and needles,” I said calmly. 

“A-almost done my lady,” she stuttered. 

“My lady? You only have to refer to me as Doctor or General. Why’d you call me ‘my lady’? I asked with confusion.

Her eyes widened with alarm as if I’d just told her i planted a bomb in her pocket. “My apologies! I just thought… that because of your relationship with Lord Dottore that that made you a lady…”

Like I said, it was awkward. “Nonsense. General will do just fine.”

I’d completely forgotten that I acted very differently with people other than Dottore. He’d made me so comfortable around him that I let my emotions show effortlessly but when talking with others I maintained a cold demeanor which was probably what was scaring this girl so much. I attempted a small smile to ease her worries but it felt wrong on my lips. Regardless, she relaxed a little bit. 

“And we’re done! Please refrain from performing any extreme or sudden movements to ensure your stitches remain intact, after all I only healed the internal tissue back to its original state,” she explained kindly. 

“Thank you very much,” I said as the door opened and Dottore strolled in. 

I heard the healer whimper a little and leave ever so quickly. She scurried out like a little ant only leaving a moment to bow quietly towards Dottore. He regarded her with little interest to which she couldn’t be more relieved.

“How’s the wound?” Asked Dottore as he peeled off his jacket and dressed into more comfortable clothes. 

“It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt so much but it feels really uncomfortable. I’ll live,” I reported. “By the way, could I bother you to get me some clothes? The look of mortification on that healer girl's face when she saw me in your clothes was a little off putting.”

“It’s no problem,” he responded before coming to sit by my side on the bed. 

“You know, once upon a time you would’ve yelled at me to know my place for asking you to do something for me,” I smiled at the memory. 

“Would you prefer I still do that?” He asked as he pulled me gently by the waist until I was straddling him. 

“No. Definitely not,” I laughed. 

I leaned forward until my arms were wrapped around his stomach and my head lay on his chest. I loved touching him and being close to him. He was the only person in the world to me.

“Are you tired?” He murmured into my hair. 

“Mhm,” I replied sleepily. 

He shifted until I was laying on my side and snug in his arms. Falling asleep had never been so easy. 

Chapter Text

It had been 2 week since the incident at the ball and with help from Dottore's medicinal concoctions, my wound healed perfectly leaving only a scar. It didn't bother me all that much however, because it signified an important development in my life. 

Dottore and I kept our relationship completely private and continued to live on as if everything were the way it was before. That's how it looked to the palace anyway. In the safety of our own space, we found comfort in each others touch.

Today the Tsaritsa had called us up for an important request. 

"The next time we have nothing else to do, I'm going to design a lift for this damn place. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Queen's throne room at the highest point of the palace? Surely this is bad for my still healing body! Tell me there's another way to get up there," I whined as we approached the stairs. 

"You're going to engineer a mechanical lift with what qualifications? Stop whining about it and suck it up. I've been climbing up these stairs for years," snapped Dottore.

As you can see, we were very much still the same duo who were always never in agreement. 

"Ugh, have a heart," I muttered under my breath. 

"I'll just take yours," he said seductively with a smile. 

"Shut up," I replied with a chuckle as I attached my mask.

"Only for today, we can use a short distance portal. Your body still won't be prepared to take on so much pressure, we shouldn't push it," he compromised.

I stopped walking abruptly. 

"You mean to tell me. That we could've used this portal thing every other time BUT WE DIDN'T?" I spat through gritted teeth. 

"Calm down, Y/N, the portal was still in development before. I was actually going to suggest using it when you were new here because the first prototypes sent the testers into the middle of the ocean and I wanted to see where it might send you," he chuckled. 

"You are so cruel," I huffed as he pulled out a ring looking device. 

Dottore threw it forward. A cloudy, stormy looking portal opened in front of us and if you looked hard enough you could make out the entrance to the throne room on the other side. 

"Ladies first," Dottore said, extending his hand to aid me. 

"I think not," I said before pushing him forward with me shortly after. 

I expected some nausea from the idea I had of traveling through portals but it was a smooth ride. We did however scare the guards at the door who lifted their spears at us upon our arrival.

“Put those down you fools,” snapped Dottore. 

They flinched before looking at each other and allowing us passage into the room.

“Announcing Il Dottore and General Y/N L/N,” bellowed the soldier. 

The way the room hushed and the whispering began would never not be exceedingly uncomfortable. Gossip in this palace was a major issue.

The both of us knelt to one knee and bowed our heads as we awaited for the Tsaritsa’s acknowledgment.

“Rise,” she said simply. “You both know why you’re here, yes? I have a special mission that I believe only the two of you can complete. You have more than proved your abilities to me so I’m entrusting this task to you.”

Dottore and I glanced at each other curiously.

“Before I explain what I’ve called you here for, I must ask that you promise to keep this between only the two of you. This is a big project that must not be compromised. Furthermore, I’d like your word that you won’t get… distracted, by each other perhaps, along the way. Can I trust you to do this?” Asked the archon.

I grimaced at the embarrassing wording. Essentially, she was saying that we could only take on this project if we promised not to fool around with each other. Respectfully, kill me now. 

I could feel Dottore tense a little at the awkwardness but we both pledged our promise to follow her orders.

“Adequate. Well then, allow me to explain. After you successfully engineered an army for me, I witnessed the length of which you two are able to go. I believe I can push that limit. And in order to test this hypothesis, I am asking you to create me a weapon,” she paused. “This weapon must be worthy of only a god and will seal our victory against divinity. It must have the power to move mountains and control the sun. It must be extravagant, nothing the world has ever seen and it must be perfect. This weapon should have the power to split the oceans in two and bring the dead to life. And so as your Queen, I ask you to accept this challenge because I know for certain that you are more than capable.”

The room was dead silent. I was still trying to catch up with what she asked us to do. Because what? 

“Well?” Her voice boomed. 

Suddenly, Dottore and I found ourselves bowing and muttering “As you wish, Your Highness.” What other choice did we have? The archon clearly wasn’t joking. 

Once we were dismissed, we walked away from the throne room till we reached a corner and turned. The both of us stopped still in our tracks. I glanced up at him slowly as he did the same. 

“You know that’s-“ I started.

“Impossible? Yes. I know,” he finished. 

An awkward silence fell over us. 

“What are we going to do?” I said.

“The only thing we can do,” responded Dottore. “If we can’t make it, we are going to have to find it.”

My eyes widened. He was joking, right?

“You can’t be serious. We both know nothing like that actually exists. She’s asking the impossible from us! The most we can do is give her a wooden club that she can use to clobber the Sustainer,” I whispered.

He sighed, removed his mask and rubbed his eyes. Dottore looked tired and zapped of energy. I wasn’t really sure why that was because he usually looked fine but today… Something wasn’t right. 

“Hey… Is everything ok?” I murmured as I held his face in my hands.

“Everything’s fine. Really. Sometimes, the pressure of sharing part of my soul with clones just… dries me out,” he whispered back as his dull red eyes avoided my gaze. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. His arms slid around my waist reflexively. Dottore seemed to relax a little in my arms. 

“Why don’t you release them for now? You don’t really need them at the moment, do you?” I asked, playing with his hair. 

“It’s not that simple-“ he started, only pausing as we heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

Quickly, we separated from each other and his mask was back on in an instant. This had been happening a lot over the past week as we tried to hide from the public eye. As inconvenient as it was, it was actually very fun. A strange thrill came with sneaking around and passing each other flitting looks that can’t be interpreted by other people. 

When the maid walked by she only saw two colleagues walking side by side with a good 5ft gap between them. She curtsied out of respect, completely unsuspecting. Whenever things like this happened, we usually ended up laughing at each other after someone had walked by. Today, Dottore didn’t seem to have the energy. He even looked paler than usual and my heart hurt at the sight of him. All I wanted to do was reach out and cradle him in my arms till he was all better. 

“So what’s our first move?” I asked. 

“Library, of course,” Dottore responded. “We can search through the weapons guide and research anything with the potential to meet the ridiculous requirements of this damn weapon.”

I nodded and we arrived at the library ten minutes later.

Everytime I came here, I couldn’t get over the overwhelmingly beautiful architecture and design. Once again, not a soul resided inside. 

“I don’t suppose you know where to find the weapons archive in here,” I asked. 

“I was hoping you did,” he admitted. 

“Tell me you're joking. We’re going to be here for hours,” I groaned. 

At that, Dottore slipped his hand into mine and pulled me to him until we were chest to chest. 

“I don’t know, that sounds like a pretty neat arrangement,” whispered Dottore beside my ear. 

I could never get used to this side of him. My body reacted similarly every time, flustered and hypnotized by him. I loved it when he was like this. Physical touch was something I hadn't received much of growing up yet he was slowly filling up the gaping hole in my heart with his seductive eyes and tender touch. 

I pulled off his mask and mine before giving him a small peck. There was no time to get distracted at the moment. We had more than enough time for this later. Still, i pocketed his mask so his face would be visible to me all the time. Pulling out of his arms, I dragged him behind me past the many bookshelves. 

"Aw is that it?" He complained.

I chuckled. "We made a promise, Dottore. The faster we can get this done, the more time we'll have to ourselves, ok? Lets find this weapon archive."

Dottore caught up to me quickly and laced our fingers together with a nod. The action made my stomach do a flip and suddenly I felt motivated to find this weapon. After walking for what seemed like hours, we reached the actual end of the library where the weapons archive was oh so conveniently located. I'd be having a polite word with whoever designed the the library to be this way. The trip to this section was ever so pleasant. Dottore and I talked about things unrelated to work and I felt relaxed and happy. It seemed to ease some of the tension in his shoulders and jaw. The redness in his eyes was still present but his expression was lighter, less burdened. I was relieved.

"You look through the books on the left, I'll look on the right. Grab anything that might be useful and we'll take a handful of books to look through on the desks over there. This is probably the most efficient method. Lets go," I said.

We began our search. Spines of all colours, shapes and size of books in various languages and fonts and depth extended as far as the eye could see. Back in this corner, the books were coated in dust, just moving past them sent a small waft of particles into the air. I decided to just go with whatever book I felt looked the most eye catching or informative rather than taking every one out to read the blurb and flick through. 

Half an hour in and I was already bored to death. 

"Tell me why we agreed to do this shit?" I asked out loud. 

"Well that would be because if we didn't we probably would have received a harsh punishment for going against the crown or something of the sort," said Dottore as he rounded the corner, coming back into my aisle. 

I sighed. "Found anything?"

"Nothing extraordinary. The majority of the books here detail legendary weapons that have only ever been mentioned in tales and myths. And the minority that do discuss real weapons are all average at best. To conclude, our efforts have been fruitless and we may as well go find the executioner to schedule a good old royal hanging," responded Dottore.

He came up behind me to study the books on the higher shelves I couldn't reach. I sighed again and leaned back against his hard chest. Tilting my head up, I watched his eyes flit from spine to spine and the muscles in his jaw tense with every movement. Pretty. What a good angle. 

His ruby red eyes snapped down to meet my gaze and it was so hard not to see the evident exhaustion in his face. Dottore's arms wrapped around my waist and he angled his head down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. 

"Dottore, lets head back for now ok? You need sleep," I whispered against his lips. 

"No need, Y/N. I told you, this isn't out of the ordinary. Its the price I have to pay for the power I control. Don't worry yourself about it, hm?" He whispered back. 

An ugly, knawing feeling chewed and chipped at my gut. As much as I trusted what he said, the lack of energy in him was stressing me out. I hated seeing him so zapped and restless. He'd slept well over the past week; I would know seeing as I basically moved into his chambers. I really hoped it wasn't any deeper than what he said it was. 

I turned around to face him and brought his face down to mine, cupping his cheeks tenderly. A cute little blush had coloured the tip of his ears but he was as confident as ever as he moved his lips against mine. His hand slid tightly around my waist and before I knew it, my back was against the book shelf. My fingers were tangled in his hair and the kiss soon turned from slow and meaningful to quick and passionate. His tongue slipped past my lips and explored what was beyond them. My mind was blank and all I could allow myself to think of was the vivid feeling of his hands sliding down from my waist to around my thighs. As he lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, we broke apart to catch our breaths. I could still taste the familiar mint from him on my lips. Suddenly I felt a little shy. 

"What if we get caught?" I grinned mischievously.

"Nothing a little deadly poison can't fix," Dottore muttered before his arms were around my waist holding me ever so close and his mouth was back on mine. 

I smiled against his lips and in return a groan sounded from his throat. A sound that made my insides do backflips and my heart battering against my chest. His lips trailed down, leaving fluttery kisses along my jaw and down my neck. One hand cupped my cheek before tilting my head up, allowing Dottore to leave traces of lips down my throat. I couldn't stifle the quite moan that left my mouth. 

My mind was in shambles and his touch was driving me crazy. I shivered as the hand that gripped my waist slid beneath my shirt and up my back. The feel of his bare hands on my skin was riveting. He unexpectedly bit down on on the side of my neck causing me to squeak in surprise. He chuckled darkly at my reaction as his eyes connected with mine, glowing with desire. That would certainly leave a mark later. 

Missing the feeling of his soft lips, he met me half way and we were back in rhythm. Just as I was undoing the buttons of his shirt, the euphoric moment was uninterrupted by a calling voice not so far away. 

"Hey Dottore? General Y/N? Are you guys there?" Someone yelled.

Dottore and I pulled apart to stare at each other in alarm. We were breathing heavily and the danger of being caught any second was immense. I couldn't help but find it absolutely hilarious. I shut my eyes and bit my lip to stifle the laugh building in my throat. Dottore appeared to find it just as amusing as I did but well to keep it bottled. He slowly set me down, ensuring we didn't make any obvious sounds. 

"Hellooo? Anyone there?" Called the voice I now recognised as Childe's. 

That did it. The laugh fell past my lips but it only lasted a second before Dottore's hand gratefully covered my mouth. He was struggling himself to hold in his own laughter but he managed to put a finger to his lip to signify that I remain silent. I nodded after recovering and took a deep breath. 

"You guys aren't making out somewhere here are you?" Yelled Childe shamelessly. 

My jaw dropped open. Dottore rolled his eyes before I witnessed a scheme settle in his eyes. He glanced down at me quickly before pointing to the left where we could slip away from the slowly advancing Harbinger. I nodded, cautiously looking around the corner of the book shelf to scout out whether the coast was clear. 

Taking Dottore's hand in mine, we prepared to slip away quietly when something caught my eye. A book. But this one was different. A feeling in my gut almost hypnotised me to reach out for it. The book was velvet green with a title embossed in gold that read "The Gods Arsenal" and it was directly on the lowest shelf at the end. Dottore tugged at my arm to get me moving and a question was visible on his face with narrowed eyes. 

Hastily, I grabbed the book and we took off. It was probably just as useless as the others but it wouldn't hurt to try. And besides, at least something would come out of our trip to here. 

As we walked further and further, Childe's voice faded into oblivion, leaving him alone in the depth of the library. Upon nearing the exit, Dottore and I had naively believed we'd escaped the ginger boy but we couldn't be more wrong. 

"There you are!" Childe beamed as he stepped out from behind a book case. That reminded me of the time the short Harbinger (who I now knew was Pulcinella) disappeared behind a bookshelf without a trace.

Dottore groaned, obviously feeling vexed with the Harbinger's presence. I wiped my expression clean and eyed the 11th with little regard. 

"It's good to see the two of you too! I was sent by the Queen to check up on your progress because nobody had seen you for hours and she worried you might have eloped since she last you," said Childe. "Nice to know your still with us General Y/N. If he threatens to take you away, you let me know alright?"

"Your concern is appreciated, Lord Tartaglia. If that is all, then we'll be taking our leave. We have a new project to work on that needs our immediate attention," I responded with a bow. 

"Wait, what are you going to tell Her Majesty?" Asked Dottore suspiciously.

"That you're working efficiently of course," he smirked, eyeing our linked hands. 

Dottore's expression twisted into the darkest, most mortifyingly murderous expression I'd ever witnessed. Childe's eyes widened before he stumbled a little whilst taking a step back. His hands were up in front of him protectively.

"Really. In- In fact I'll tell her I haven't even seen you. Better?" He stuttered with a smile that faltered.

"Hm. Adequate," responded Dottore before sweeping past him, me swiftly behind him. 

Once we were out, Dottore slowed down in consideration for my much shorter legs. His long strides were often tiring to keep up with.

"That meddling kid, one day I'll strap him to a surgical table and pluck out his teeth followed by snipping off his tongue," murmured Dottore. 

"He's cute," I shrugged, earning me a glare from Dottore with a hint of jealousy. "I'm just saying, he seems like such a mischievous little boy. He's only a few years younger than me. I thought you Harbingers would treat him like a little brother but none of you seem to get along."

"There is nothing "cute" about that blabbermouth who can't keep his nose out of people's business. Not to mention his beyond irritating thirst for a fight 24/7," he rolled his eyes. 

"Is there a reason for the dullness in his eyes?" I asked curiously. 

"He fell into the Abyss when he was younger and it caused some psychological damage that led to him losing a part of himself back there. He surfaced with a new found power and large strength but it was at the cost of losing some of his humanity. They let me study him for a little bit but he was severely unresponsive and it bored me to death. One thing led to another and he was appointed as the 11th," shrugged Dottore.

That was unexpected. I can't imagine what goes on in Childe's head. Did that mean that the persona we see of him was just a facade or did he regain his personality after some form of therapy? Maybe I'd ask him some day if I ever got the chance. 

Unfortunately at the moment, we had much more pressing matters to discuss. 

"What have you got there?" Dottore nodded towards the green book in my hand. 

I lifted it to reveal the cover and cursive title. It glinted in the light and the yellowing pages hinted at its old age. 

"'The God's Arsenal'... I pray it isn't just a fictional tale or pure nonsense. This might be our only lead at the moment," he sighed. 

I nodded in agreement as I flicked through the pages for some confirmation that it wasn't just a story. My curiosity peaked as weapons of all sorts of shapes and sizes listing many powers beneath them flickered by. The question was were they still in existence and was what the Tsaritsa had asked from us inside these pages?

We made our way to the lab which had become our second home at this point. Stepping into the familiar blue hued room with the lingering smell of chemicals and sterilised equipment put me in a good mood. 

"You look through the book for now, love. It's not wise to push your body with too much work today. In the meantime, I want to experiment a little bit with your vision and some delusions. Would you be alright with that?" He asked holding my elbow as he led me to the messy table at the centre of the lab. 

"Please be careful. I have already warned you how explosive it reacts to things. Promise you wont do anything stupid," I raised my eyebrows at him, sitting down at the desk. 

"Depends on what your definition of stupid is really," he said, dipping his hand into my pocket to retrieve his mask. 

"You know what? Just don't set the building on fire. That'll be enough," I rolled my eyes. 

He stalked off with a new objective as I turned my attention to the book. I touched my lips subconsciously at the memory of what had happened moments before it caught my eye. Rubbing my eyes and lightly slapping my cheeks, my mind was cleared and all my focus was on the subject at hand. I could recall the memory of it all later. 

Page by page, I was engulfed in the details this book held. Every weapon was unique and looked so badass, I was just itching to create something just like them. Furthermore, each weapon had information regarding the status of its location and condition at the bottom in small print. My heart sank slowly as I noticed the majority were either lost or destroyed. Many of these weapons were used in the Archon War by various gods which indicated why the book was named the way it was. 

I wondered if anything the Tsaritsa had ever used was here. How old was this book that it could include such detail about weapons dating back to almost 1000 years ago? A few were even crafted in Khaenriah. This book was a treasure. 

Time flew by yet I was enthralled by the contents. I could hear concerning explosions and crashes in the background; I couldn't help but grimace at every sound. Eventually, Dottore emerged from the testing room with singed sleeves, black scuff marks on the shirt beneath jacket he'd shedded, and a line of black dirt on his cheek. In his hands, was a used fire extinguisher and a towel slung over his shoulder. 

He was so adorable. I knew I'd fallen for him in the past week. I'd been pushing down my feelings for him before the ball but it was evident my body was attracted to him. It simply took my mind too long to catch up. Now, ordinary things I see remind me of him and I get excited at the thought of waking up to talk to him and see him. The idea of capturing the smiles and kisses and touches that were only for me and pocketing them away safely made me giddy inside. When he looked at me, I felt special and seen and wanted. Dottore was the full package that I had never thought would replace the empty warehouse of emotions inside of me. The thought that one day he might leave me terrified me beyond anything else because I'd just got him. I wasn't ready to let go yet.  

"What the bloody hell have you been doing in there?" I laughed. 

"Doesn't matter," he said too quickly. "Have you found anything?"

Dottore threw the fire extinguisher into the testing room carelessly before coming over to sit opposite me. I watched him suspiciously but didn't press further into the matter.

"Nothing as of yet, but there still much left to read. Unfortunately the weapons I've come across so far are not available for us at the present time. They all seem to have godly like power however," I explained.

Reaching for the towel on his shoulder, I cleaned off the streak of black on his cheek with an amused expression. Dottore sighed with exhaustion before using his arm to rest his face on top of it.

"What's this one?" He asked, pointing at the weapon on the next page that I'd yet to view. 

"'The Silverwing Staff,'" I read aloud. "It says that its capable of opening dimensional space rifts and manipulating constellations that summon astral creatures to aid the user. 'Only a man with will power stronger than the pull of gravity can wield its might.' Sounds like something perfect for the Queen, don't you think?"

The diagram showed a staff made of two intertwining gold sticks that branched apart at the top to hold a stormy silver orb that floated in the middle. Two wings made of a greyish crystal were drawn on either side of the head of the staff and a beam coming off the top of it pointed at a crack in the page. It looked like a crack in the page but after running my hand over it, it was simply an illusive diagram. 

"Where does it come from?" Dottore asked leaning forward.

"It says this weapon was originally supposed to be a gift to the original Cryo Archon from the lower gods as a sign of returning the love she spread through the land. Despite recieving the gift, she never made use of it in the Archon War and along the way it went missing. Supposedly stolen by someone during the war yet it went unnoticed for years as everyone was preoccupied with fighting for their lives. So it really is befitting for a Cryo Archon. Shame she never used it..." I trailed off as my gaze scanned the small print.

My eyes widened. I gasped out loud. Reaching for Dottore's hand, I gripped it tightly and met his eyes. 

"What is it?" He asked with a frown. 

"Dottore. This weapon isn't lost or broken. Its still intact! This is it! We've found it!" I shrieked. 

Dottore's brows shot up in surprise. "Where is it??"

"It was recovered from a temple in Sumeru and was held in a museum there for centuries. Apparently it was stolen by mercenaries during the Cataclysm 500 years ago as they took the opportunity when the Archon wasn't looking. After that the weapon was bought and sold on the black market multiple times until the last buyer never sold it again..." I read. "That hardly matters though. All we need to do is find out who the current owner is and nab the weapon. Simple, right?"

I looked up to confirm Dottore's thoughts but he averted his gaze and rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Dottore. What did you do?" I deadpanned.

"Hey! What makes you think I did something?" He said feeling accused. 

"Your face betrays it all. Tell me what you did," I demanded with a raised brow. 

"I... Might have... Set fire to a preciously preserved forest in Sumeru as an act of revenge for being expelled from the academy... Therefore, making me a wanted man with dozens of bounties on my head and an arrest warrant issued by the archon and the head sages themselves..."

I could only stare at him. I could hardly comprehend was he'd just said and I was already shaking my head with disappointment. 

"How long ago was this?" I asked weakly. I pray it was too long ago that they might have forgotten. 

"Um... A few months ago..." He responded.

Ah shit. 

"Dottore..." I said in an obviously irritated tone.

"Y/N, come on. Anyone would have done the same thing if they were in my position! I was wrongly expelled. They are just way too sensitive. Ethical guidelines went out of fashion long ago," he attempted to justify his actions. 

I ran a hand over my face, stopping to cover my mouth and contemplate what the fuck we were supposed to do now. 

"Dottore. Ethical guidelines are not a piece of clothing to go out of fashion. And no, no one else would have set fire to a whole ancient forest to spite the sages for their 'poor decision' making as I assume you view it as. You are the craziest man I have ever met," I said, suddenly feeling a laugh bubble up in my throat. 

Dottore looked a little guilty and ran a nervous hand through his hair, unsure what to say.

"You know what? Its fine! We only need one person to retrieve the weapon. I'll go by myself and take a squad of Fatui guards. Sound good? Good!" I smiled, still trying to wrap my head around the massive offense he executed against the nation of Sumeru. 

"No. Absolutely not Y/N. No way am I letting you go alone all the way out there. Not while those black figures still haven't been identified. Your life is still constantly in imminent danger. This palace is the only place you will be safe. I refuse to let you jepordise your life for a stick that can create unicorns out of stars," stood Dottore abruptly. His voice was firm and his jaw was tense. 

"I understand where you're coming from, but I don't trust anyone else to go. Besides, the archon entrusted us with this mission, not anyone else. Its supposed to be strictly secret. It has to be me. You can't go if everyone will be on the look out for you! You can't exactly blend into the crowd with that blue hair of yours," I explained, throwing my hands up in defeat. 

Dottore looked away. A familiar expression that indicated he was scheming appeared on his face. Something flashed in his eyes. 

"No Dottore. No. Whatever it is your thinking, its not a good idea. Anything that involves you going to Sumeru will end badly."

"Hear me out. Please?" 

Their was a rough hint of desperation in his voice and I hated how fast I folded to his demands. 

"Here's the plan. You and I will go to Sumeru in disguise as mercenaries. There's a number of reasons why this will work. First off, we won't be trailed by a Fatui squad for protection so we'll seem less suspicious. Secondly, mercenaries from Sumeru dress in garments that cover their faces and hair so we will blend in effortlessly. Furthermore, in the unlikely chance we get caught, the authorities can't do anything too bad for risk of compromising their relations with the Fatui and the queen who are both infamous in Teyvat for being ruthless and powerful. They're wise enough not to take such a huge risk so the most they'll do is create some sort of blockade or ask for compensation or just ban me from the nation. The consequences won't be that grave. Besides, if its all for the weapon Her Majesty wants, I'm sure she'll turn a blind eye! We just need to get in and out. Its basically fool proof," he said all in one breath. 

He waited with bated breath for a response from me. I could only stare at him with a hugely skeptical expression and raised eyebrows.

"There are way too many holes in this plan. I don't think its worth the risk..." I admitted. 

"Y/N, we weren't given a deadline. We have more than enough time to send out spies to retrieve all the information we need and create a solid, detailed plan. I'm a genius, something as easy as stealing a fairy wand is childs play. You're thinking about it too much!" 

I bit my lip and considered it. There was a solid chance it could work but we'd have to find out who the owner is and guard rotations and so much more. It would need lots of research. After that we'd have to prepare for the trip; I'm still not fully healed from the events of the ball. That means that we'd have to take lots of time to prepare in advance but we can't be sure if the weapon can be so easily retrieved.

I sighed in defeat. "Ok. We'll do all the research and find out as much as we can about this godforsaken weapon. Then and only then will we decide where to go from there. I'm not in the right state for a trip like this just yet remember? We need to take time to prepare. How does that sound?"

"Perfect. That's just what I wanted to hear. In the meantime, we'll inform the Tsaritsa of this new development to ensure we've made progress and have set our sights on a potential weapon," he said with a hint of excitement.

Dottore really seemed motivated to do this. It was very different from how it was this morning when we believed Her Majesty was asking the impossible. Now, despite the exhaustion edging his features, his eyes were brighter and more energised. I loved seeing him like this. I felt warmth blossom in my heart at the sight of him. As reluctant as I was to allow him to come, the feeling was overshadowed by his eagerness to execute this plan. I had a bad feeling about this trip but what other choice did we have?

Chapter Text

"The reports in."

I looked up from my work space where a small light bulb pulsed every other second, connected to a makeshift power source of an electro delusion and my vision. The hypothesis I'd come up with years ago had finally been properly tested and in its earliest stages was already showing good progress. It was out of my thoughts immediately as Dottore joined me at the desk with a thick file. 

"What have we got?" I asked nervously.

This entire file of information on the staff had taken a good three weeks to come, giving me enough time to heal and spend some time in the gym to train my body back to its usual form. It would be necessary if we ended up running for our lives from the authorities. Dottore spent the last three weeks pestering me about coming along even after I'd firmly spoken that only after we received the report would I decide but along the way I seemed to have agreed to shut him up. Funny how he was the one begging me as if I had authority over him. I didn't mention it to him but secretly I liked feeling like I had the power of decision making. In addition, it made me feel like he really valued my thoughts and consent.

Dottore flicked through the pages, his red eyes scanning the inky letters swiftly. His eyes widened before he began following the words and rereading. 

"This is... Perfect! The staff is being auctioned off at an underground auction for antiques. Some historians said that the interest in the weapon had died down severely because nobody could get it to work and it was believed to be unusable ha! The estimates for the value of the weapon are fairly low. The bank would lend us any sum we need anyway," explained Dottore. "Damn it, I was really hoping we could cause a bit of trouble by stealing the staff to piss off the authorities for their idiotic-"

Alright, thats enough from you Dottore. 

"Now we won't need to worry about having to steal it and getting out unscathed. We just need to bid for it. I suppose it could work out after all," I nodded.

Dottore rolled his eyes but I caught relief in his features. It was obvious a weight had been lifted off his shoulders knowing he could be around to protect me if I was targeted again. 

Unfortunately, despite the fact that all the Harbingers and Generals were ordered to keep an eye out for the assailants at the ball, not a single report came back with good news. They couldn't be located or traced at all. The Tsaritsa had concluded that they may have come from the Abyss and were just rampant spirits but I found it hard to believe. It felt like she knew something but I was warned not to press on the matter.

I saw it with my own eyes and it didn't spur the feeling of the crushed civilisation. Nothing in the library held any information about black spirit like creatures that withered away when injured. It was scary, always being reminded that they could still be out there watching me with their beady eyes and warped smiles.

This particular night, after Dottore and I had studied every last note of the report from our spies stationed in Sumeru, we turned in early. We received the rotations of guards surrounding the perimeter of the owners home and the traps and maps of the location. The date and time of the auction was included and potential investors or bidders who had a keen eye for the weapon were listed along with their net worth and bank details. 

All previous owners had been mentioned as well as the state of the weapon - which was described as worn but completely intact. A stolen report from researchers at the academy stated that the weapon radiated high levels of energy that were much too strong for the average human to control. Because of this, the staff was kept in a thick and protective case. The reason why the archon and the academy hadn't sought out to retrieve it after the many times it was stolen and sold is because the weapon itself is supposed to be owned by the Cryo Archon and was wrongly taken years ago. If the Tsaritsa were to learn of this, I can imagine the type of wrath she'd unleash upon the sages and Lesser Lord Kusanali. It was best that they avoided any implications with it, after all they had their opportunity to study it and lock it away; they didn't exactly need it for anything more. This was all to be thought about later however. 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I felt an uneasy restlessness in my bones. My mind couldn't fall asleep and Dottore seemed to sense my struggle. 

He reached out, pulling me over to him till my head was on his bare chest and my arms were around his waist. 

"Can't sleep, hm?" He whispered it tenderly.

"Yeah. I think I'm still subconsciously sorting through the info we learned today about the staff. Maybe I'll take a sleeping pill," I contemplated.

"Ugh nobody willingly takes those things. Here me out as your doctor, avoid overusing them ok?" He murmured into my hair. 

I chuckled into his neck. Dottore's company was something I never knew I needed. He was a friend as well as a lover and the loneliness that always painted my life was lifted by his side. It hadn't even registered to me how much the lack of human interaction I had before him had hindered me. I truly hoped my company had the same affect on him because the idea of him feeling disconnected or alone had my heart aching. 

I really wanted to tell him. The exhaustion my body felt combined with the serenity of the moment almost had me blurting out the three words. Deep down, I was terrified. Over the past few weeks of getting to know Dottore, I knew something like 'I love you' would freak him out. How was he supposed to respond to something like that if he'd never had the chance to understand it properly? I predicted that if I told him he would either: not believe me or distance himself. I wasn't prepared for either of these outcomes but at the same time I wanted him to know how deeply I felt for him. I needed him to know his existence had saved me and relit the flame inside me. For someone who had also never known love like others did, I'd never felt so sure in my life that this was the way I felt about him. If I were given one wish right at this moment, it would be to spend the rest of my life with him in peace. 

And despite all of these thoughts that zipped through my mind in the present moment, all I said was:

"Whatever you say Doc."

His response was to place a kiss on my forehead and rub circles on my shoulder. It was soothing. It was perfect. No way could I ruin this moment. And with all these whirring thoughts flashing by like a speeding train plus Dottore's calming touch, I fell into a slumber. 

I dreamed of dark flames licking at my skin and conscious smoke weaving in through my nose and mouth, squeezing the air out of my throat. And then I saw it. That ever so familiar face. The face that haunted me so often after the night of the ball. With its jeering, twisted smile and its pearly white eyes crying onyx tears as it shook me by the throat viciously. Needles and daggers penetrated my skin giving me a jolt of pain from every direction. 

"You... Are... Mine... To... Take..."

I vaguely remember crying and begging for help, glancing in every direction, blinking so hard trying to see something other than the miserable face that had nearly ended me. It was all pointless. Night terrors they'd called them. Only happened a few times a week but when they did, I'd find myself being clutched in Dottore's arms where he'd shifted to a sitting position, panting and clawing for a drop of oxygen. 

"I'm here, darling. You're safe, breathe. Breathe, ok?" His voice was calm and calling. 

With my head against his heart, I matched my breaths to the beat in his chest. Moments went by. My hands shook lightly as they remained wrapped tightly around Dottore's neck. 

I never knew how to react after the terrors. Was I supposed to cry? Laugh? Sit there and think about them till the wires in my brain fried and the screws came unloose? I tended to be quiet and unresponsive for a little while after waking up but today I was so exhausted and tired of being wrenched into a living hell where the exit was blocked off only to be told it was all a mirage in my mind and nothing I felt or saw was real. The energy expended into battling the images was too high. It was draining me. 

So I cried. Something in me just cracked. The old, ragged rope I used to hold myself together ripped so harshly that it all just fell out of me. A bit like the time where my identity crisis had overwhelmed to the point that I was starting to hallucinate from lack of sleep.

"Oh my girl... Don't cry. Please. I hate seeing you like this," whispered Dottore weakly. 

"I'm- I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking in the process.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cant protect you from the stuff you see in your head and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you back at the ball. I'll find a way to fix it. Please, just bare with me," he said, holding my face and wiping away the escaping tears. 

"Its not your fault. What you've done for me up to this point is more than enough. Everything you do is enough. I'm just so tired of the cycle of feeling the same fear every night only to wake up to exhaustion from battling unreal foes," I sniffled. 

Dottore pulled me into a tight hug to which I couldn't be more grateful for. I felt so horrendously guilty. He was being forced to wake up to console me and look after me so frequently recently and I can't imagine how much it was taking from him. It only forced more tears out. Usually I struggled to cry but suddenly things were just stacking on top of each other so inconveniently that the tears wouldn't stop. 

Why did I even agree to stay in his room? He doesn't deserve this. He shouldn't have to wake up to deal with someone else's problems. It wasn't fair; Dottore already had enough shit to deal with as it is. Sharing his soul essence with his clones drained him all the time and dealing with his crazy colleagues and the queen all the time must have taken so much out of him. Yet here he was, taking time out of his day to look out for me. 

"Dottore, I'm going to move back into my room ok? I don't want to wake you up anymore," I informed him. It hurt me to say it because waking up to see him every morning was the highlight of my day. This was necessary however. 

"What are you talking about? Where is this coming from? I don't care about the waking up in the middle of the night Y/N! Don't be ridiculous. I just want you to be ok and if that means being here to hold you when you need someone, then I'll do it without a second thought. Besides, I've never slept so well as I have when you're here." He pulled back to see my face and brushed a few more tears away. The expression on his face was upset and confused. 

"This isn't fair on you! You already have way too much on your plate, I dont want to add to it... You need to sleep. I'm not a child that can't look after myself," I responded. My eyes averted his gaze as I bit my lip with guilt. 

His eyes softened; they glowed like crystals in the low light. His fingers reached out to trace my lips. A small laugh left his own. That sound. It was like a melody to my ears. If I could bottle it up and keep it locked in my heart till the end of my days, I would.

"You could never be a burden to me, my love. If it were up to me, I'd lock us in here and never let you leave. I'll be here to tend to your wounds and wipe your tears any time you need. You made the decision to somehow reciprocate my feelings and now you're stuck with me for eternity. Don't even think about trying to escape me," he smirked.

My heart thawed and the tears that fell were suddenly out of love and happiness and content. Hearing him say those words was more than enough to lift the strain I felt throughout my body. He was everything to me. Dottore didn't seem to mind the idea of spending an eternity with me and I hoped the smile that broke on my face paired with the hint of pure adoration in my eyes would tell him every one of my thoughts. I'd have to find a way to bully away these night terrors. Dottore will get a good, full nights sleep whether he liked it or not. 

He kissed me softly, his fingers gripping my chin lightly almost as if he worried I would break and wither away in his hands. Upon getting back into a position to sleep, I held Dottore's hand beneath the sheets and traced the hard lines of his face as he watched me with a sleepy expression. The look in his eyes made my skin tingle. My fingers ran over the X scar on his face and counted every little freckle I could find. The shape of his lips was burned into my memory and the brush of his lashes was light like air. He was so beautiful. It was safe to say I was bewitched by him.

He'd fallen asleep under my touch. I placed a small peck on his forehead before twirling my finger around a small piece of his hair lightly. The strange blue colour of it has always been something I was curious about but his locks were soft and cared for. 

"I love you," I whispered so quietly. One day I'd tell him. That was a promise. I just hoped it would all work out in the end. 

Chapter Text

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT."

I winced. He's been at it for ten minutes now.

"Where is that arrogant imbecile you call your fucking boss? Tell that pussy to get his blind ass out of hiding and face his superior," growled Dottore. 

We were currently at the Northland Bank's main headquarters. Our original plan was to come here and ask for a cheque of a large sum we could use to bid at the auction but alas our request was rejected. No reason was given but Dottore immediately believed it was because Pantalone was trying to spite him. So here we were, arguing with the clerk at the front desk who was trembling and on the verge of tears. I'd tried to calm Dottore down but the rivalry between him and the ninth harbinger seemed to blow his fuse. 

His behaviour wasn't at all out of the ordinary. He pretty much spoke to anyone that looked at him strangely in this way but we really weren't getting anywhere. 

"I-I'm sorry my L-Lord. Lord Pantalone is r-refusing to see anyone at the m-moment." 

Dottore slammed his down on the desk in frustration causing the clerk to burst into tears. The entire scene was all too comical and whilst i did pity the poor man, it was terribly hard not to laugh. 

Instead, I decided now was my time to step in. 

"My Lord? Can we talk over there for just a moment please?" I sweetened my tone and lightly brushed my fingers against his forearm to which he exhaled and nodded. His jaw worked endlessly.

Once we were out of ear shot, I glanced around to ensure no one was watching. To my dismay, every Agent in the room was gaping at the pair of us. Someone even dropped a pen. It seems my small touch didn't go unnoticed and whilst some spectators were horrified others were curious. Just this one time, I decided to take a leaf out of Dottore's book.

"What are you all looking at?! Scram!" They all visibly flinched at my loud voice and snapped back into movement. 

Dottore's jaw had gone slack and whilst his face was covered, I could practically see the expression of pride in his eyes. 

"Do that more often," he said. 

"And you stop verbally assaulting that poor man! Can't we just ask for a lower sum of money? I'm sure the loan will be accepted and we can be on our way."

"Absolutely not. I'm not leaving till that useless imbecile comes down here and hands me the money. He's doing this on purpose. I refuse to back down," stated Dottore firmly. 

I groaned. Sometimes he really was impossible to deal with. 

"Just go back to the palace Y/N, I'll deal with this shit. You can go retrieve the long distance teleporting portal from Research Lab #3 and get changed. That way when I come back, we'll be ready to go shortly. How does that sound?" 

"Or how about you take your leave and I deal with the situation here. It's clear Lord Pantalone is being difficult, maybe I could reason with him. Don't waste anymore of your time here Dottore. It'll be more efficient this way. Off you go," I replied, holding his elbow and leading him out the front door. 

"I do not want you to talk to him," spat out Dottore as he stopped us abruptly. "If he gets anywhere near you, I'll turn his internal organs inside out."

"I'm sure you will. Farewell," I said quickly before shoving him out quickly and making my way back inside. 

Many had just witnessed that ordeal but it was too late to care. This Pantalone fellow was starting to piss me off.

"Hello. I'd like to apologize for Lord Dottore's aggressive approach earlier. Do you want a tissue?" I asked the clerk as he flinched away with a runny nose. Pulling out a tissue from a pack in my pocket, I held it out to him. 

He nabbed it quickly before shuffling further back behind his desk. Wouldn't be surprised if the resignation letter peaking out from beneath the paperwork on his desk was going to be sent in today. 

"Might I ask for an audience with Lord Pantalone?" 

"I told y-you. He isn't seeing anyone right n-now," forced out the clerk.

"I see. Thank you," I nodded before walking right past his desk and upstairs in the direction of Pantalone's office. 

"Where are you going General??" The clerk asked in a frantic way. 

"No need to concern yourself. Return to your duties," I ordered. Sometimes I forget that I hold quite a lot of authority as a General and second in command. 

Without waiting for a response, I marched up the stairs and headed straight towards the door at the end of the corridor with the title 'Head Office' above it. What was I going to say? Not a clue. I just needed that money and right now both Dottore and Pantalone were being beyond immature that it was getting in the way of important matters. 

I knocked once, not waiting for an answer before opening the door. I'd surely be punished for something like this later but I'm sure I could wiggle my way out of it. After all, I was an extremely valuable asset to the Fatui. 

"What is the meaning of this- Huh? General Y/N? For what reason do you barge into my office at such a time?" Pantalone asked as if he didn't know. His tone was light but an edge to it confirmed he knew my purpose of visiting. Not to mention the innocent smile he always wore that basically projected a halo above his head. 

"I apologize for my rude interruptions my Lord," I added a bow out of respect. "I believe you are aware Lord Dottore and I requested a large sum of money for private reasons we cannot disclose as of yet. We were quite confused as to why it was rejected so I was hoping for a short explanation."

His jaw tensed a little bit as he put down the feathery pen in his hand and intertwined his bejewelled fingers. The man screamed crazy rich and the way he carried himself was that of a noble man. I'd heard his expertise were in no way combat related and his position as a Harbinger was due to his ingenius talent as a business man. Pantalone was the man at the top of the mountain of money the Fatui owned and if you wronged him in any way you can be sure your bank account will be left with cobwebs and dust the very next morning. 

"Unfortunately I cannot grant such a large sum of money without good reason. I understand that you can't disclose the reason for the loan but I have to think about what's best for the economy of Snezhnaya and the cash flow within the Fatui. Surely you can understand, yes?" His tone hardly concealed the mocking intentions in his voice. Two can play at that game.

"I see. That makes perfect sense, I apologize for disturbing your work my Lord. I'm sure the Tsaritsa will also be understanding as to why Lord Dottore and I couldn't meet her demands," I said, feigning a sad tone. 

At the mention of the Queen, he stiffened. The smile dipped from his face for a moment before it was plastered back on even brighter than before. 

"Might I inquire what Her Majesty has to do with this?" 

For a Harbinger, you sure fell for that trick pretty easily, didn't you? I suppose he was desperate to get back in her good books after the incidents from before. 

"Hm? Oh, well as I said before it is a private matter. A private matter coming straight from the Queen, I mean. As you said, we need to put the nation's economy above anything else however. She will surely agree with you," I went on. 

Pantalone thought it through for a moment or two before standing up lavishly and making his way towards me. I tensed a little, anxious that he might do something.

"Nonsense! If Her Highness wills it, then the cheque is all yours. We can't disappoint her now, can we?" A dazzling smile invented to seduce and persuade graced his features.

The large black, fur lined coat he wore swayed hypnotically as he walked to a nearby shelf and retrieved a slip of paper. If it was this easy to convince him, I'd have done this an hour ago before we were passed on from secretary to secretary and eventually the pitiful clerk. Maybe it was worth writing down what each Harbinger's weakness was. It would be useful if something like this were to come up again; Dottore isn't exactly known for being a lovable ray of sunshine. 

"You're too kind my Lord. Your presence in the Fatui is a blessing from the archons, truly. I can't imagine how grateful Her Highness is that she has you on her side," I complimented sweetly. I knew exactly how much the Tsaritsa was upset with Pantalone.

I sensed a little bit of animosity and irritation from him as his back were to me whilst he scribbled down the sum of one hundred million mora. I think Dottore asked for that price particularly to throw a spanner in Pantalone's works because the staff would never reach that price at the auction. The smile on Pantalone's lips as he handed me the slip of paper was forced and much less enthusiastic. He deliberately brushed my fingers with his gloved hands and placed a hand on my back as he led me out of his office. I shivered at his touch. I'm sure he hoped Dottore was watching but I'd anticipated something like this and sent him away. 

"You flatter me. I do hope your mission goes well Miss. Give Dottore my kindest regards," spoke Pantalone with false kindness. 

I bowed and raced out of the bank as fast as I could. As attractive as Pantalone was, his personality seemed quite rotten. People who hid their true intentions and feelings behind masks of smiles and pretty words were my least favourite. Pantalone watched me with an eagle eye as I exited the building. The way his smile fell harshly didn't go unnoticed by me. 

Upon returning to the palace, I headed up to Dottore's chambers first to get changed into the mercenary disguise I'd requested. We were going go depart for Sumeru today as the auction would be held throughout the night. I suggested we remain at the auction for the entirety of its duration just in case some other priceless artifact appeared that we could try to bid for. 

Dottore was nowhere to be found in his rooms so I swiftly dressed and awaited his arrival. My disguise was made to look like the Eremites that were scattered throughout Sumeru's desert land. 

A red cloth covered my eyes and thigh high sheer socks with leather thigh straps covered my legs. Brown ankle boots with a short heel were included and terribly short white skirt with a red wrap was tied around my waist. My accessories included black leather gloves with sharp metal finger armour that looked like fantastical claws.  The sleeves were pretty and flowy with intricate blue and gold patterns. A short cape coming off one shoulder flowed behind me.

I tucked two short daggers into my boots for good measure and slipped my hand gun into the strap on my thigh. 

As I checked my reflection in the mirror, the door flew open and Dottore strolled in. 

"If one more goddamn idiot approaches me today-" he muttered angrily under his breath. He looked up only just noticing my presence as his eyes trailed down my body, taking in the new look. "Your... Back..."

"Yep. And I got the cheque too," I said pointing to the slip of paper on the desk. 

Dottore seemed completely uncaring for the money as he was too busy eyeing me up. The way his gaze lingered on certain areas of my body had me averting my eyes embarrassingly. His own eyes were dark with desire. 

"Stop gawking. Go get changed," I rolled my eyes. 

Completely ignoring me, Dottore strode over to me and lifted the red blindfold with one hand on my waist. 

"The Fatui uniform doesn't do you any justice," he said. 

I laughed. "Thank you darling. I do look quite spectacular, no?"

"Always," flirted Dottore before kissing my cheek and grabbing his own disguise laid out on the bed. 

In the midst of him changing, I busied myself with packing things into small pouches that could easily be attached to our outfits. 

"Did you get the portal device?" I asked over my shoulder. 

"After a shit ton of hassle? Yes. Apparently there was a fault in the one they prepared for us earlier and it took way too long for them to fix it up. Why do they need a dozen unintelligent fools to act as researchers if they have us?" He continued to grumble about how everyone in the palace was utterly useless. It was cute watching him rant about his day. It made our relationship seem so much more normal and intimate. 

It was hard being in a romantic relationship when you're consumed with your job. We were managing quite well but it was definitely a big change for the both of us, especially due to the fact that before we'd met our lives were solely dedicated to our occupations. The lives of others were insignificant to us and all that mattered was a successful experiment or a theory proven right. So being suddenly hit with the want to protect and cherish another person out of nowhere was confusing for us. We talked about it early on in our relationship and we laughed at each other's reaction to realising we liked each other. 

He told me: "I made myself believe what I was feeling was hatred towards you. Of course that lasted about 5 minutes because it was becoming severely obvious that I hardly despised you at all. Eventually I just forced myself to face the facts but I intended to find a 'cure' for this feeling immediately. I think it was after we came back from visiting your lab that it started to dawn on me how much I liked you. I hoped if I didn't do anything about it, the feeling would go away. On the surface, I was telling myself that I didn't need to tell you because there was no way you would feel the same and I didn't exactly want you to feel the same. But deep down, I sort of knew that I wanted you to tell me you liked me back. I think thats what everyone feels but this was so new to me that the idea of it sort of terrified me. What would I do after that? I suppose it worked out perfectly for the both of us, eh?"

The memory of it had me smiling to myself. 

"Done. Ready to go?" I turned to see Dottore dressed in the most badass outfit I've ever seen him wear. 

Of course, nothing could beat his masquerade ball outfit but this... This was up there. 

He wore a matching red blindfold and a turban looking cloth wrapped around his head that did much to cover his eye-catching blue hair. It could only cover so much but it would do.  A black cloth covered the bottom half of his face and a grey scarf was wrapped loosely around his neck. My eyes were painfully drawn to the sheer black fabric that hugged his abs and strong chest. I couldn't wrap my head around the leather harness around his upper body and the baggy navy bottoms tucked into knee high brown boots. Two sturdy guards sat atop his broad shoulders his forearm were covered in matching armour. I was shamelessly drinking in his gorgeous figure. 

"You're drooling," he said with the sound of a smile. I hated how concealed his face was because it reminded me of the early days after i was taken hostage here and put under his watch but alas, it was necessary if we didn't want to get caught. 

Ignoring his comment, I noticed two long bendy swords on his back. "Do you even know how to use those?"

"No but its part of an Eremite Sunfrost's attire so I'll just have to hope no one asks for a duel or some other ridiculous farce," he responded.

I nodded and reached to the desk where the golden ring i vaguely recognised was waiting to be used. It looked like the one we used to reach the the Queen's throne room a couple of weeks back but this one had carvings of ancient words on the rim and it was bigger, heavier. 

I handed it to Dottore who spoke the name of the location and threw the ring. It exploded in a puff of smoke before a storm of clouds roiled and bubbled before us into the shape of a big portal. On the other side, a magnificent view of a huge desert and a city nestled in the sand appeared before us.

We glanced at each other, giving a nod before stepping through. The journey through this one was worlds apart from the short distance teleporter and going through felt like I'd actually walked the distance from here to Sumeru. Upon coming out on the other side, I was swaying and almost fell before I'd even registered what was happening. Dottore's hand clutched my waist pulling me upright against him. 

"This one makes you feel a little more woozy, forgot to mention that," he admitted.

"How come you seem fine?" I stepped away from him as his hand on me was much too distracting. 

"You forget that I've lived a long life where in which I've had to experience much more nauseating situations," Dottore replied, staring out into the distance.

"Come to think of it, how old are you really?" 

"Alright, lets get going. The city isn't far and we'll find the black market right beneath it so the trek there shouldn't be too bad," he ignored my question.

"Hey Dottore, I asked-"

"Come on, love."

Was he actually centuries old? I know that he can literally transfer his soul to a whole new body and keep living but is that really what he did? I could've sworn he was little embarrassed to admit that he was terribly old. How cute. 

I let the matter go and walked by Dottore's side through the grainy, orange sand. Only now had I felt the suffocating high temperature and humidity in the air. No wonder these outfits were thin and revealing. It was necessary if they wanted a chance to survive in this atmosphere. 

Upon looking around me, the breath caught in my throat. The sun was sinking into the dip between two high sand dunes where an oasis nestled between them, reflecting orange light over the water. The city below the high mountain of sand we currently stood on was bustling with life even as the day neared an end. Stalls of fruits, vegetables, fish, fabrics and every other item you could think of were lined up one by one beneath many canopies that shielded the market from the scorching sun. 

People yelled prices and music played vaguely from various areas down below. Women and men danced beautifully with the elegance of a royal swan. The smell of exotic foods, herbs, spices and oud wafted up to us. The city turned a mesmerising amber hue as the sun fell into its short slumber and the view blazed with flickering candles and lamps throughout the streets. 

It seemed more alive at night than during day and I loved it. I'd never come to Sumeru despite having lived in its neighbouring nation of Liyue for years. Immediately i regretted it. 

The happiness I saw on people's faces below as they danced and chattered and sold and bought was infectious. Suddenly it hit me that things like this had never appealed to me before. I'd never noticed them or cared to think about them but now... I felt a weird sense of softness settle in me. Almost as if I was witnessing life for the first time. The people down there were living. Really living. The smiles on their faces couldn't be faked. It was really a stunning scene.

"Hey, we need to hurry. The auction is in a couple of hours. Are you ok?"

I hadn't realised I'd stopped walking to stare. I nodded quickly, offering a small smile before joining Dottore as we made our way down. 

It was a relief seeing others dressed like we were around the area. We would be totally inconspicuous now. The moment we walked through the arched enterance of the city, everything was amplified ten fold. 

The sounds of children giggling and running after each other sounded in the air. Men and women sat around large round tables eating an assortment of foods and puffing smoke out of  a slim pipe that I read was called a hookah or a shisha. The food looked delectable and their fashion was out of this world. Colours and gold accessories and jewelry and long outfits were everywhere. Seeing such a different culture and fashion to Snezhnaya was a nice change. It felt so homely here. 

We continued to walk through the long winding streets filled with vendors and restaurants. It seemed this area was the heart of the city. 

Out of nowhere, a man approached me with a kind smile and excited words. 

"Young lady! Take a look at our latest bracelets and rings, highest quality and top of the fashion trends at the moment! These particular bracelets would look splendid on you!"

I couldn't help it. Breaking away from Dottore's side, I gorged on the sight of snake inspired rings and earrings as well as a nose stud in the most eye catching ruby red. Necklaces of gold chains and dangling crescents were glittering on the display beautifully. 

I felt Dottore's hand rest on my lower back as he pulled me closer to him. 

"I'm sorry, I keep getting distracted. Its all so spectacular," I whispered to him with a small laugh. I really wanted to stay longer but we couldn't jepordise the mission. Preparing to move away, Dottore stayed firm in his place.

"Its ok, we have a little time," he whispered into my ear quietly. 

My eyes flitted up at him with excitement dancing on my features. I smiled gratefully, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it lightly.

The vendor watching us, had spotted the perfect opportunity to sell his newest product.

"Take a look at this new matching ring set, perfect for a couple like the two of you! See this beautiful gem? These are sold nowhere else but here at a very good price, might I add," he smiled eagerly.

He was obviously lying, the jewels were fake but I had to admit the ring set was pretty. Something else entirely caught my eye however. 

I picked it up immediately, and studied it. It was a chain necklace with a small charm on the bottom. The charm appeared to be a crystal ball like the ones fortune tellers owned and it was being clutched by what looked like silver claws. When lifting it up to the light, something could be seen in the crystal ball.

"What is in this?" I turned to the vendor with my question.

"You have a good eye my lady! This crystal ball will show you the path to whoever owns the second piece however it comes at a hefty price. Possibly our most expensive set..."

"Can i see the second piece?" 

"Of course! Of course!" He dipped beneath the table and pulled out a box where a ring was encased. It matched the necklace perfectly, the only difference being that crystal ball was much smaller. 

"Am I allowed to test it?" I couldn't be sure if it worked or not and I'd be lying if i said i wasn't interested.  

"Whatever the lady wants," nodded the vendor enthusiastically.

Taking the ring from the old man, i slipped it on and handed the necklace to Dottore. Squinting to concentrate on the orb on the ring, it swirled slowly with fog before showing an image of the market we currently stood in. So the catch was that it only showed the vague location, not the exact point of the other holder. It was probably encoded with a map of Teyvat using the magic of the leylines. 

"Do you like it?" Dottore stood in front of me blocking the view of the vendor. He said it quietly, his face so close I could feel the warmth of his body radiating around me. 

"I do," I admitted. 

"How much?" Dottore abruptly turned to ask the vendor. 

"700,000 mora, good sir!"

"Bloody hell. 700k for a little sparkly ball? Really?" He grumbled under his breath. With an exasperated sigh, he said: "I'll take the pair."

"Excellent choice sir! You are a fine gentleman. I'm sure you make your woman very happy," beamed the vendor. He simply forgot to add 'you made me very happy too' on the end of it.

I can't believe Dottore really just handed over a small cheque all for the purpose of buying a set of jewelry I found pretty. It felt so nice; I felt an overwhelming feeling of content. What did I do to deserve such treatment? I needed to repay Dottore for everything he'd done for me. I just had to. 

The vendors eyes were practically gawking at the slip of paper that he'd almost forgot we were still there. I decided to take the ring where as Dottore took the necklace, clasping it around his neck and tucking it beneath the scarf. We were moments away from leaving before the vendor called after us one more time.

"Wait just a moment please!" 

I stiffened. What else did he need from us? He hadn't recognised Dottore had he? Turning slowly, I studied his expression and gave him a small questioning expression. 

"Yes?"

"I don't wish to keep you any longer but unfortunately I am obliged by the law to ask. Have you see this man at all?" The vendor lifted a worn piece of paper with the words 'WANTED'  in black bold ink at the top. 

It didn't take many guesses to know who the drawing below would be of. A hand drawn image in ink of Dottore glaring forward was displayed along with his name and the reward for his capture. A large sum of 2 million mora. Dottore looked fairly intimidating in the picture; I'm not even sure how they'd managed to catch such an accurate display of his regular glare. Luckily, it was colourless meaning he wouldn't be recognised by the colour of his hair or eyes. 

I studied the image and pretended to think about it by cocking my head to the side. 

"I don't believe I have. Have you?" My head turned up to ask the criminal in question.

"No." The Harbinger hardly even tried to cover up the irritated tone in his voice. 

The grimace that surfaced on my face was quickly hidden before I smiled apologetically at the vendor who nodded solemnly. 

As we parted from the vendors shop, we weaved through the thick crowds of people. I looked up and witnessed an array of colourful lanterns hung from ropes across balconies and tops of brownish buildings. People smiled and waved down from above to family members and friends. 

My eyes scanned the area and I immediately regretted it. My stomach dropped at the sight of wanted posters lining the walls of multiple criminals, but the majority were Dottore. How he'd got himself into the mess was beyond me. Suddenly I felt a hand grip my forearm and dragging me into a nearby alleyway quickly. Looking up, I exhaled in relief to see it was only Dottore but his mannerisms were anxious and quick. 

Looking back, I caught the sight of a dozen or so soldiers asking surrounding people about the man in their wanted poster. They continued to request that masked people walking by reveal their faces to confirm they weren't disguised criminals as my boss was here. My heart was in my throat when one particular soldier made eye contact with me.

We rushed out of view into a narrow alleyway as dark as the night sky. A cat screeched at us before bounding away as we slipped further into the path. 

"I didn't think we'd have to deal with them so early on. In fact, I believed they stopped sending out soldiers to search for me in person but it appears I was wrong," he huffed. 

His hand shifted to slip into mine before we heard footsteps shortly behind us. Dottore cursed and I bit down on my lip nervously. My free hand shot down to grip the gun at my thigh as we took several twists and turns until we were engulfed into a dark section of the city where no life lived. Not a soul passed by and the area was unlit. 

"Shit. Are we lost?" I glanced behind us warily. The sound of footsteps had retreated. 

"No... This is exactly where we need to be! The enterance to the underground black market should be around that corner. How convenient," murmured Dottore quietly. 

For some reason, this area screamed dodgy. Despite the fact that no one was around, I still felt like we were being watched. The beat of my heart quickened as I thought about the chance that maybe those black spirits from my nightmares were around. I instinctively shuffled closer to Dottore. He didn't say anything but it felt like he could sense my anxiousness. His thumb wove soothing circles over my hand as I held on tighter to his. I secretly thanked him for not asking about the matter. It wasn't the time to scare myself for no reason. 

We approached the corner where Dottore stopped us and cautiously peeked around. The sound of hushed voices and clinking lanterns echoed from the other side. 

"When we go round this corner, we need to act natural but confident ok? Like we're supposed to be here. Are you going to be alright?" His whispers were ever so quiet. 

"Of course. Don't worry about me, Dottore. We get in and out. It'll go smoothly. Let's go," I said surely. 

Exhaling out the anxiousness, I steeled myself and wiped any emotion from my face. From this point on, I'm an Eremite coming to bid for items at an illegal underground auction. 

Chapter Text

"It always creeped me out when you did that thing with your face," said Dottore.

"What thing?" 

"Where your face just falls and you look at everyone like they're insignificant ants in the grand scheme of life. You used to look at me that way when we first met you know and I found it hard to know anything you were thinking," he explained.

"Oh," I laughed. "It sort of became a reflex after working as a spy. A colleague of mine taught me never to betray my emotions at any cost and ever since I just put up a wall to protect myself all the time. If you couldn't tell what I was thinking then it works efficiently."

Dottore nodded with understanding before gesturing to ready myself to turn the corner. We stood tall, my hand resting on the gun at my side. Together, we rounded the building and approached a house at the end where two men dressed in full black mercenary outfits guarded the enterance to what appeared to be just a simple house. They tensed at noticing us, taking an intimidating step forward.

Dottore pulled something out of his sleeve and waved it in their direction to which the two guards peeked at each other before shrugging. The slip of paper Dottore held was a ticket of sort that we purposefully forged to allow us a quick enterance into the illegal market which I presumed was akin to an underground city beneath this house. 

The Harbinger handed the ticket over allowing the first guard to verify it. The second guard studied us before losing interest and leaning back to flick a coin up and down. 

"Welcome. Take the basement stairs down; a torch will be readily lit for you," stated the guard boredly before allowing us through. 

That was easy enough.

We nodded and made our way through the house which was completely furnished with beautiful decor that resembled a real home. A complete lie of course. This house was just a cover up for the many illegal and illicit activities taking place out of sight. 

The basement steps were steep and dark. Once the door to them was opened, loud sounds echoed around from beneath and bounced around the walls wildly. The torch was waiting for us as promised and we wasted no time descending the steps. 

I could hardly see in front of me, occasionally stumbling on a chipped stone step or tripping from missing an entire step. Dottore held my arm cautiously to avoid any fatal falls. 

After what felt like forever, we reached the bottom of the steps and the torch was no longer necessary. It was true. There really was a whole alternative city down here and whilst the sounds and smells were similar, the view was certainly different. The people here were dressed entirely different; most were decked out in razor sharp, blood curdling weapons including axes, scimitars, scythes and I even saw a chainsaw at one point. They all had permanent scowls on their faces and many were masked while others were dressed in skimpy clothing. Scars, tattoos, piercings and bandages were common. 

We passed by multiple brothels and drug dealers. The scent of alcohol and metallic blood intoxicated the air, making me grimace. People eyed us as we walked past but no one approached thankfully. It seems our disguises were working in our favour. On more than one occasion, Eremites littered around the area nodded at us, acknowledging us as their people. This was basically a breeding ground for mercenaries and spies.

The auction was supposedly going to be held in an arena location down here where among weapons and artifacts, slaves would also be sold. The people down here were not afraid to participate in unethical activities. That had nothing to do with me however, so I chose not to think about it. There was no time for feeling sympathy for the peasants being sold like cattle down here. 

"Stay close," whispered Dottore as he kept me within arms reach. 

We passed by many weapon stores and I was terribly intrigued by the various mechanics of the strangest looking weapons I've ever seen. I was itching to tinker with them and study them but that would be for another time. 

A loud sound captured the attention of the criminals and mercenaries around us. Turning around, we traced the yells and shouts to a group of people ahead. They seemed to be surrounding two people who were fighting, dueling most likely. A flash of silver whipped across one opponent and they were paralysed to the spot. Their eyes bulged out of their sockets before blood sprayed from a thick cut at their throat. The now lifeless body crumpled to the ground, spasming violently before coming to a slow stop. 

"Oi get out of the way ya fuckers! You've stained the windows of my shop, scram!" A middle aged man covered in tattoos had appeared in the doorway of a shop that appeared to sell... Was that a severed arm? And a box of human nails? This place was crazy. 

The group of people shuffled away, laughing arrogantly. Someone stayed behind to drag the corpse away as the shop keeper continued to yell profanities behind them.

"I don't suppose Snezhnaya's black market is anything like this?" I whispered the question to Dottore. 

I could see his jaw working and his fists clench and unclench. 

"Probably worse," he admitted. "Don't talk to anyone or get near them alright? This is dangerous territory; I don't want you to get hurt."

"Have you been here before?"

"Yes but truth be told, I don't even know if we are going in the right direction. I know someone down here however, if I can spot her, she might be willing to give us some directions," he replied.

"Might?" I was skeptical.

"Yes... I'm not so sure anyone I know will be willing to help me after what I did," he laughed guiltily. 

"Fantastic."

Suddenly, a hand latched onto my forearm and yanked me backwards. 

Alarm bells were ringing but it happened so fast I hardly had time to even register what was occuring. A big burly man who reeked of alcohol and puffed smoke from a cigar in between his lips had pulled me towards him and now had a hand on my waist. His face was oily and his hazel eyes looked hungry. I visibly shivered at his rotten touch.

"Why don't you come play with us, pretty lady?" 

"Get off me, prick," I spat. 

I struggled in his grip and gagged at the stench of his breath. He blew smoke in my face causing me to wheeze and rendering me temporarily defenseless. My hand subconsciously reached for the gun at my thigh but the man was faster. He ripped my hand away and clamped down on my wrist. Hard. I bit down on my cheek to keep the scream climbing up my throat from escaping. 

Where was Dottore? Surely he would have noticed my absence from his side by now. It was up to me to escape at the moment. I tried glancing behind me but it was to no avail as the wretched man laughed loudly and gripped my face harshly in his hands. 

"There's no where to go, pet. I've got a nice warm bed for ya waiting upstairs. Lets go," he chuckled grimly. I fought hard against his grip but those muscles weren't for show. He had an iron grip on me. Was I really trapped? We were moving towards the door of another brothel where seductive giggles and scandalous whispers sounded from inside.

Just as I prepared to summon the twin hand gun that was hidden out of sight, the man stilled. I heard the sound of him moan as I glanced up in confusion only to see a gaping hole in his forehead and a chain tipped with an arrow slithering out. My eyes widened with fear only to be followed by my heart leaping out of my chest as I recognised the weapon unique to only one particular Harbinger. 

The man's grip loosened on me and scattered gasps around us filled the quiet. Further sharp arrows connected to chains penetrated vital points of the man's body. Heart, throat, abdomen. A small groan left his grotesque mouth before his legs collapsed beneath him. I dodged out of the way, letting him fall with a loud thud to the ground. 

Dottore stood tall in front of me, the blindfold that covered his eyes now lifted. His eyes were ablaze with raw rage and murderous intent. They seemed to glow, almost as if his pupils were real rubies rather than human eyes. Pulling the sharp saber from of his back, he swung precisely. The man's head rolled away from his body. 

"Fucking pig," said Dottore through gritted teeth. "Don't touch what isn't yours, filthy bastard."

His eyes flickered up to me and the rage melted away. I saw concern and hurt flash in them before he pulled the blindfold back down and slipped his hand into mine, pulling me into a nearby alleyway. 

"Are you ok? I'm sorry, one second you were there and then you weren't. The area was busy and I didn't notice and when I tried to look around I couldn't find you. I'm so sorry-"

"Dottore, please. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm absolutely fine thanks to you. I'm indebted to you, again," I sighed lifting his blindfold and holding his face with a reassuring smile. 

Once again, he'd saved my life and endangered his. I hated it. It seemed as if he was always the one doing the protecting and the guilt that poisoned my insides was agonising. How could I possibly repay him for everything he'd done for me? Dottore deserved someone who could do just as much for him and yet here I was being utterly useless... I cursed myself for not working harder to better my combat abilities. 

His eyes were frantic with worry and anger still lingered within them. Dottore checked my body for injuries; he stilled at the sight of the bruises on my wrist. 

"This was a fucking mistake. Why did we even come here? God, I knew something like this would happen!" His voice was fuming and loud.

This was all my fault. Even though, I'd stayed by his side I still attracted trouble. If he didn't calm down, he'd probably do something rash. The mission could be compromised. Killing the man just now had already revealed Dottore's weapon. It was only a matter of time before someone put the pieces together and we'd be running for our lives even before the auction began. 

An intrusive train of thought whistled by in my head. 

He doesn't need you.

You're just a hindrance.

Leave while you still can before he gets hurt.

You're going to ruin everything.

This is why I chose to abandon the emotional side of myself. Since opening up to Dottore, the lid I kept on my feelings had slowly become uncapped and now I was starting to feel. Too much. Way too much. This wasn't the time and these ridiculous thoughts were going to drag me down. If I let this continue, everything would go wrong. 

But there was some truth in those words, no? I am a hindrance. My feelings for Dottore and his for me were putting a dangerous wedge in our work. We'd never make it out alive if we cared about each other even in the slightest. I cursed at myself. This wasn't supposed to happen. 

"Dottore. Lets split up. We can cover more ground and search for the arena. With the use of the orbs on your necklace and my ring, we can track each others locations and meet up if one of us finds the auction before the other. We are running out of time," I said firmly.

His eyes widened and looked confused. 

"Are you crazy? You just got jumped by someone like that and you want to split up?! Whose to say that won't happen again? I can't let you go around here when your in constant danger."

I knew he would be stubborn about this. I just had to be more stubborn.

"No Dottore. We can't do this. As long as we are together, we can't get a single thing done. Deep down you know this. We have a job to do and anything else is unimportant at the moment. We promised the Queen that we wouldn't be distracted by one another and so we need to follow through with that promise. Listen to the voice of reason inside of you, this is for the best. Once we get this infernal weapon, we can get out of here. Just forgot about whatever is between us at the moment and focus on the task at hand. Lets do it right," I said firmly. Putting some space between the two of us, I crossed my arms awaiting his response.

I didn't want to say it so harshly and the way Dottore winced a little at my words had me regretting it immediately. He knew I was right. We were a distraction to one another and splitting up would be the best option. 

"It's not that simple Y/N," he sighed, running a hand down his face. "Even if we split up, I'll still worry about you. Perhaps even more. Its not like how it was before, I can't just switch off everything and be the Harbinger I once was. Not whilst your here with me at least. It wouldn't be an issue if I'd just gone alone. Now... God this is so frustrating! I can't think straight."

"This is exactly why I said you shouldn't have come! Why couldn't you just let me get the staff alone? I would've had an entire guard of Agents to protect me but you couldn't accept that," I groaned. 

"How could i?! Those fools couldn't protect a damn baby from a pair of scissors! You nearly died a couple of weeks ago at one of the most heavily guarded events ever; you think I could just let you venture into here with a bunch of unintelligent dimwits who barely qualify as Fatui?" He shouted it this time. 

"Please keep your voice down Dottore," I hissed. "Your not understanding what I'm saying at all! Our relationship has put us at a huge disadvantage. You need to forget what you feel for me for the time being. Think of me as the girl you kidnapped on day one who you couldn't give two shits about. Stop trying to protect me and look out for me Dottore! I can look after myself! Please stop making this so hard," I pleaded. 

He flinched. The guilt inside me expanded until all I was breathing was regret and sadness. Why did I word it that way? Dottore didn't know any better. I was so grateful for his care and concern but if we didn't do it this way, then we could never do this right. 

My heart sank as I watched the emotion drain from his face. His eyes dulled as he shook his head in frustration. Averting his gaze, Dottore sighed.

"Why can't you understand that it kills me to remember the way I treated you and regarded you when I 'didnt give two shits' about you? I don't want to go back to that. I don't think I could even bring myself to see you in that way," he shook his head in confusion. 

He was making this so hard to say. After everything, I was basically asking him to throw away his feelings and it could be misunderstood that I was telling him his feelings were unimportant to me. That wasn't the case at all but Dottore had never been in a situation like this before. How could he understand that?

"Its just for the time being. If this continues, we won't make it in time. Dottore, I am in no way dismissing the way you feel. I'm only asking you to forget about me and focus on our objective. If you're constantly worrying for my safety - which I am eternally grateful for and completely reciprocate that concern by the way - our mission will be compromised. We can't afford that. We only have one chance at this. Work with me here," I said trying to reason with him. I prayed the message got through. 

He was processing my words when he seemed to give up. Dottore flung his hands up in defeat and I watched as the emotion melted away from his features. The lines on his face turned harsh and suddenly he resembled the terrifying, crazed doctor everyone knew so well as Il Dottore. 

"Fine. Go. Find that stupid arena your own way, and I will too. Try not to get hurt along the way, because this time I won't be here to save your ass like usual. Good luck," he said in a drab tone. 

Dottore was lashing out, out of anger and hurt. It was completely justified and so I didn't put it against him but that didn't mean it hurt any less. I loved him. I wanted to be around him all the time. I wanted him to be safe and happy and healthy. This was the only way we could get through this. I just hoped we could come out of this even stronger. If not, then... I've made a massive mistake. 

"Ok. Please be careful," I whispered. 

His eyes betrayed him for a second. I saw the regret in them but it washed away insantly and he walked off, leaving me clutching my bruised wrist in the dark of the alleyway. 

This was our first real argument outside of work. We often argued over logical things that could be proven wrong or right but even then, we made that into a game by tallying up who won each time. It was never anything like this. This hurt. It left an ugly taste in my mouth and my gut was screaming at me saying 'This is a bad idea'. On the other hand my head was supporting this, telling me 'You did the right thing' and 'He's better off this way'. 

I hated this. I wish my real feelings had never surfaced and I almost wished me and Dottore had never met. Before him, I was driven by the want to succeed and crack every scientific mystery that existed. I had no one to make proud or show off my achievements to. It was all for myself because if I didn't do it for myself then I was closer to a drifting spirit than a human. I would have been empty and sucked dry of life. It worked well for me for the longest time. People stayed away just how I wanted them to and I was left to fiddle with dangerous chemicals and play with explosives in my lab to my hearts content. No one understood me. That was until Dottore came along. 

I once heard that we are born into this world with a half a soul and the other half was somewhere else, waiting to be found. The ever so popular term "soulmate" was usually used as a label. I didn't believe in that nonsense but whilst some believed they'd found the other half of their soul, I found the other half of my brain in Dottore. And I think he did with me too. I just wasn't expecting it to come with additional feelings that I'd never found myself capable of feeling before. 

I definitely didn't regret my actions up until now with Dottore, but I had no idea what to do with these buckets of overwhelming emotions that were controlling me like a puppet on a string. Get a fucking grip Y/N. There's no time for this. 

Slapping my cheeks lightly, I gutted out any irrelevant and distracting emotions. They would be left in this alleyway along with the remnants of our argument. 

Despite the lack of warmth and presence that was missing from beside me, I steeled myself and stepped out of the dark. Dottore was already long gone amidst the crowds and so I began my trek through the streets, searching for any sign of the auction or a large arena. 

Every so often I checked the orb on my ring but apparently Dottore wasn't having much luck either. Rounding the corner of yet another street, I was beginning to think this was just a huge joke and the city was actually a maze. My eyes were caught on another duel happening ahead, but they were especially drawn to a powerful looking woman with a mechanical arm. She had ears resembling that of an animal and her face was intimidating and ruthless. Her blonde streaked, black hair flowed behind her as she launched an attack with a large claymore, ending the duel. The opponent hadn't died but merely whimpered and scrambled away, heavily injured.

"Haha, as expected of Dehya! Another win. You rule this quarter of the market," grinned a kid who looked to be in his teens. 

I was surprised to find a kid so young here but he looked like he was in good hands. This Dehya lady had kind, protective eyes upon looking at the boy. She smiled with a wink before turning to take a seat at a nearby table. Something about her intrigued me.

Not a single person in the market had shown the caring characteristics this woman showed. Maybe she'd be willing to help. I decided to take a seat at the table perpendicular to hers, ordering a glass of water. Glancing side ways, I tried my best to get a good look at her and the kid. 

"Can I help ya with anything, lady?" 

Slowly, I turned my head to Dehya who regarded me with a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk. 

"Depends. Are you willing to help me?" 

"Hm... If you can win a game against my buddy here, then I'll lend ya a hand." She nodded towards the little boy opposite her. His skin was dark and he had shaggy black hair and childish brown eyes. Definitely under 16. Should be an easy game. 

I shrugged and took the seat opposite the boy. 

"Whats your name kid?"

"Hussam. You should know, I'm the best at board games around here. Haven't lost for months. My longest stream yet!What do I call you?" He looked excited. A mischievous kid. 

"Y/N. You should know I'm not too bad at board games either. What we playing?" I was careful to keep my tone neutral and expression guarded. Dehya was studying me intently out of the corner of my eye.

"Whatever you'd like. I'll probably still win," shrugged Hussam. 

"How about chess?" 

"As you wish," he grinned. Turning to the nearby waiter, he asked for a board and soon enough the game was ready. 

I checked the time, only 45 minutes to go. I'd need to finish this quickly. As we played, Dehya grilled me with question after question to which I answered briefly or responded with a question of my own. 

"I don't think I've seen you around here before. What brings you down here?" 

"Needed some resources and heard there was some sort of auction tonight. Thats actually what I was hoping you might help me with. Directions to the arena," I explained. 

"I see. It is quite a popular event. I could take you there if you meet the requirements-"

"Checkmate."

Dehya looked down quickly and then up at Hussam whose shoulders slumped. 

"Good game Hussam," I said extending my hand out to shake. "Now, Miss Dehya, please lead the way."

"You know you just knocked the No.1 chess player of the market off his top spot right? Our Hussam is the best of the best. There's only one other person who was able to do that and he's a madman. Who the heck are you?" She seemed genuinely surprised and pleasantly friendly.

"I play this game almost everyday against a crazy genius. I've had my fair share of losses but so has he. Practice makes almost perfect I suppose," I shrugged. Getting up from my place and handing a few coins to the waiter, I gestured to Dehya to follow me.

"I'll be back shortly Hussam. Keep an eye out for those sketchy guys from earlier yeah?" Dehya stood up, ruffling Hussam's already messed hair. 

He nodded eagerly before bounding inside the cafe.

"Quite young isn't he? What brings him down here?" I shouldn't press but I wanted to make small conversation to appear more open with Dehya. 

"The kid was born down here and had to deal with loads of shit growing up. I found him scrounging for food in the alleyway beside my cafe and took him in. Ever since, he makes a profit by playing games against customers and delivering food. He's a great kid, feel bad for him though," she sighed sadly. 

I nodded as she gestured to turn the corner and the sound of cheering and chanting became audible. 

"Just straight ahead... Hold up- Is that-" she gasped as she spotted someone straight ahead. "I'd recognise that blue hair anywhere."

Her expression soured as she stormed ahead to the only person who could possibly spur that reaction out of anyone. Dottore was already here apparently. Almost as if he could sense the irritation from Dehya, he turned around and tensed. I followed closely behind Dehya but he'd already spotted me. He stood against a wall nearby the arena, likely waiting for me so we could enter with the second forged enterance ticket. 

"You son of a bitch, why are you here? How dare you set foot in our land after what you did?" Dehya whisper shouted at him, poking a mean finger at his chest. 

So this was the woman he was hoping to get directions from earlier. I suppose I beat him to it. Although from the way she reacted, I highly doubt she would have said a word to him. 

"Ugh. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, especially you. You seem to be forgetting who you're talking to Dehya. Show some respect or I'll cut that beastly tongue out," sneered Dottore. 

I sighed before turning to Dehya. "Thank you for giving me directions. I think its best you leave before we cause a scene."

"Hold on. You know this guy?!"

"Yes. This is the crazy genius I play chess with everyday," I sighed again. "People are starting to stare Dehya, please don't attract anymore attention to us. Once we get what we need, we won't be back again. That's a promise. Can you turn a blind eye just this once?"

She blinked once at me, turned to Dottore, and blinked again.

"Stop gawking like a dog. Go back to your little cafe Dehya, this business doesn't concern you," Dottore said. I could almost see the eye roll.

"No, hold on just a second. You, play chess every day voluntarily with this lady here. And you lose too, yet she's still very much human and not a gross robotic mess. How is this even possible? Have you finally turned a new leaf and put a lid on your crazy experiments?" She seemed bewildered.

"Nonsense. I could never and to prove it to you, I'll have you know that if you keep talking, your next, so piss off."

"This is crazy! Congratulations Y/N! I didn't think it was possible for someone to actually keep him under wraps," she laughed. 

"Can't you hear me? Fuck. Off."

"Whats the worst thing you've done to him and gotten away with?" She asked this with stars in her eyes. 

"Hey!-"

"Both of you. Please. You're giving me a headache," I groaned. "I mean, how do you even know each other?"

Dehya's face fell before she glared at Dottore and told me the story of how they met. 

"He was down here buying illegal chemicals and body parts for whatever disgusting creation he was making at the time. Some people were causing a ruckus outside of the cafe and blocking the path entirely. Hussam and some other waiters had to get involved and soon a fight broke out. It was getting completely out of hand and this man here," she pointed at Dottore. "He just so happened to be trying to get through the blocked path so he thought it was a good idea to just shoot them all out of the way. It caused an even bigger scene but Hussam and my staff were saved so when the nearby security came to sort it out, I covered for Dottore as a way of thanking him. Naturally, his egotistical ass just rolled his eyes, tutted at me and strolled off in the middle of the interrogation with the security guard. After that, every so often he'd come by to beat Hussam at chess and checkers but then we heard about his reputation at the academy, followed by his expulsion and the arrest warrant. At the time, we weren't aware of who he was and what he did. And now I regret anything I'd ever done for him."

She pointedly scowled at him before turning her back to him and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you for putting him in his place. Your welcome to come here any time and tell us all about his losses," she smiled happily. "Just this once, I'll pretend I didn't see you. Only for you Miss Y/N. If I see him again, he'll be behind bars before he could have the chance to threaten me with death."

"Thank you Dehya. We'll be out of your hair now, tell Hussam I'll be back one day for a rematch," I gave her a small smile. 

She nodded, saluted to me and walked off but not before giving the middle finger to Dottore who instinctively tried to attack her. I placed one hand on his chest and pushed him back against the wall. 

"These are the consequences of your actions. Deal with it," I said firmly. 

I couldn't tell at all what he was thinking but he glanced down at my hand still pressed against his chest. I cleared my throat and stepped back, hoping the blush creeping up my neck wasn't obvious. I sensed a smirk shift beneath the black mask covering his lips but it was gone in an instant. 

"You didn't tell her that we're together?" Dottore asked the question quietly with an obvious tone of curiousity.

"Why would I? Right now, we are just work colleagues, remember? Lets go inside," I said changing the subject immediately. 

I didn't want to bring it up again but we were so close now. The weapon was basically in our reach. The way Dottore's shoulders sagged a little at my words had me turning away. If I stayed in that spot any longer, I might've just apologized and apologized and thrown my arms around him, never letting go. I might've accidentally told him that I love him and that everything I said earlier was out of the interest of the mission and not at all what I really wanted. But alas, the awkward rift between us widened as well as the cracks in my heart. 

We walked in silence to the enterance where a similar set of guards from the enterance above ground stood. 

"Halt. We require all weapons to be disposed of before entry into the arena. Place your weapons in this box here and hand your ticket to my colleague for verification," said the biggest guard sternly. 

Shit. This was quite inconvenient. Whilst I could still summon my twin guns at will, having the extra daggers and gadgets gave me a sense of security. Reluctantly we dropped our weapons into the box as the guard verified the ticket and wrapped a paper band with our number on our wrists. 

I noticed Dottore didn't dispose of his chains which was a relief. At least we would be extra protected.

Try not to get hurt along the way, because this time I won't be here to save your ass like usual

A dagger through the heart. Thats right. He had no reason to really protect me now. As far as he was concerned, I was disposable and completely replaceable. He could let me die just like that. And I'd told him, I was capable of protecting myself. That was true but it was evident from before that I still struggled. I didn't want Dottore to obsess over protecting me but I did want us to have each other's backs even as simple work partners. The chances of that happening were low with the way he treated me when we first met.

Dispelling the thought from my head, we were escorted into the venue. The cheering was getting louder and soon after taking a path through a long corridor we came out into what looked like a stadium. Much smaller but a boxing match was taking place at the centre. The arena went deeper into the ground than the rest of the underground city and so the spectator seats descended downwards like stairs. We were informed the boxing match was entertainment building up to the auction.

Many spectators wore masks that concealed their faces. Smart, if they didn't want to have any trouble with other bidders. Luckily our disguises covered us up well too.

Immediately, I could tell how uncomfortable Dottore was. The loud chanting and the suffocating crowds was certainly something to make a vein pop up in his forehead. His jaw was clenched beneath the black fabric and his hands were fisted. He looked like he was itching to grab the nearest man and strangle him to death. Subconsciously, I reached out to hold his hand before pulling back instantly. Curse this stupid situation. 

The room was dreadfully loud and humid. I watched the two opponents fight below before one was flung right out of the ring, hitting the wall with a thud. Ouch. Boos and jeers sounded and the moment flashed by before it was all over. I'd lost interest immediately and sat down, terribly bored. The next short game had begun, the last before the auction began apparently.

"Isn't the auction supposed to start already? Do you have the program with you?" Dottore sat down beside me. 

Flicking open the leaflet I was handed, I scanned the contents for the weapon in question. It was #34 on a list of 50 items. 

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered. "We're going to be here for a while. Take a nap if you like, I'll wake you up when the time comes."

"You think I can nap in a room as bloody loud as this? You overestimate me, love," he barked out a vicious laugh. 

I sighed and tried to get a little bit of shut eyes myself. I got myself a good five minutes of ground shaking yells in my ear and a dozen stomps on my feet.

The man sitting on my left was obviously drunk and high. He reeked of alcohol and wailed about, stepping on my toes and knocking into me multiple times. My anger was building up much faster than I liked to admit. 

Tapping his shoulder, he glanced down at me with a dazed and distracted expression. I sent a punch right into the centre of his face, knocking him clean out. His body crumpled to the ground yet no one batted an eye. Spitting on him, I muttered: "Asshole."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Dottore staring at me. 

"What?" 

"Uhm, nothing," he said turning away. His masked face did little to hide his pink tipped ears and the light blush at his cheekbones. 

What was that about? 

I slumped into my chair, bored to death. This had to be over soon, right? Usually I would have started up a conversation with Dottore but that was out of the question now. It would be too weird, and he would put me on the spot for acting too friendly when we'd just agreed to keep this relationship strictly work related. The worst part is, it would likely continue even after we got back. 

I spent the next ten minutes reading the names and descriptions of the other items. Some were labelled as mystery items that had high value. Interesting... Maybe we could bag some cool gadget or wacky weapon.

Eventually, many people started streaming out. Clearly some were only here to watch the boxing match and someone came by to drag the drunk mans sleeping body away. Good riddance. 

The lights dimmed in the arena and once the ring below was cleared a platform was placed and a man approached the microphone.

"Evening, bidders! Tonight we have a fantastic set of antique items all lined up for you including some mystery items we are sure will catch your eye. Prepare your wallets and your paddles as tonight you won't be able to restrain yourselves. We will begin with item #1. A collectors item known as the Gilded Scale. This rare item comes directly from the legendary ancient Earth dragon, Azhdaha. The enormous overlord of geovishaps is a formidable opponent and once battled by the Geo Archon's side. We begin the bid at the starting price of 100,000 mora. Any takers?"

He lost me at "collectors item". We have a dozen of those in our lab, they're hardly worth 10,000 mora. Evidently much of this auction is a scam. I only hoped the staff was the real deal. 

"Hey, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back shortly," I whispered to Dottore. 

He hesitated before only nodding and allowing me to pass through. 

I walked back through the long corridors till I spotted the bathroom. After doing my business, I washed my hands and prepared to leave when a conversation on the other side of the door had me pausing at the handle. 

"Has he been sighted yet?" This was the first voice. 

"No one has reported seeing him yet. How are you so sure he'll be here?" Another person added on. 

"His spies have been all over Sumeru gathering information, he's bound to be here. He was followed in here earlier too. We've got eyes everywhere, he surely won't escape our sights."

"Hm. If you say so. We need to hurry however. The residents here have yet to notice we've infiltrated the city. As soon as they get a tip that we are down here, they are sure to ring the alarms. We can't take them all on, you are aware of this."

My eyes widened. There could only be one person they were talking about. Who else would they risk so much to capture? Their voices became quieter as they moved away from the door. Silently and smoothly, I slipped out of the bathroom and followed after them. I ensured to keep some distance between us and was grateful for the empty corridors. 

"As soon as he's spotted, strike immediately. He must be taken down."

"Understood, sir. We are in constant communication via the Akasha system. Nothing will get past us."

The Akasha system. That strange green symbol over their ears. I'd read that the previous dendro archon had created this system in order to pass around knowledge with ease. It was smart and terribly convenient. I had to get back immediately and warn Dottore. These men came from the authorities. He was in imminent danger. Just as I prepared to knock them out, the man on the left gasped.

"Confirming that Il Dottore has indeed been located?"

They stopped in their tracks. Fear struck through my body. We haven't even had the chance to bid for the weapon. This had to be a mistake. 

"Its been confirmed. Execute the order."

Dottore's POV:

Surely it didn't take this long to do your business and get back. I knew hardly anything about women but what could she possibly be doing in there that was taken this long? I was starting to fidget in my seat.

No. It didn't matter. She said so herself, I need to let it go. As far as I'm concerned, she could be dead and it didn't matter. 

The memory of her putting distance between us and telling me to forget about what was between us flashed in my mind making me shiver. 

Our relationship has put us at a huge disadvantage

What was this ugly feeling? That single sentence had set it off. It felt like I was always on the verge of throwing up and I was so confused as to what she meant. I understood where she was coming from but why did it... hurt so much? This feeling was so unfamiliar and I disliked it immediately. 

I suppose I should've seen it coming. Why would someone like me ever have the privilege of a pleasant relationship with someone else after everything I'd done? She didn't deserve this. She needed someone who was truly human and kind and thoughtful. Someone who could give her all that she deserved.

I was none of those things. Every person in my life had told me themselves. I was a grotesque monster that found joy in mashing up body parts and pulling peoples insides apart. I couldn't help it; for years this had been my life. Who knows how long its been? 

I can't imagine what she thought of me now and the idea that she put a wedge between us in order to distance us because of me gave me heart burn. The empty seat beside me felt all too cold and unfamiliar.

I needed her. It hadn't occurred to me how much I relied on Y/N as a person. She'd become something of a lifeline for me. It was unhealthy and I knew from the start it would somehow go wrong but I couldn't help it. 

The way she touched me, looked at me, spoke to me was addictive. Either Y/N truly cared for me with every bone in her body or she was the actress of the century. Nobody had ever shown affection to me the way she does. It was unexpected yet so fulfilling and satisfactory. I only wished I could return all her gestures. She'd done so much for me, I felt constantly indebted to her. 

When she wasn't with me, it became a reflex to reminisce memories we'd made not too long ago. We'd only had such a short time together, I wanted more. I needed more time. There was so much I had to say to her and do with her.

It felt like she was my other half almost. I couldn't imagine doing experiments without her input anymore. Our little competitions, the chess games in our lunch breaks, the finishing each others sentences and adding onto theories. If she couldn't be my lover then I'd settle to keep her by my side as a lab partner even if it meant she hated me till the end of her days. 

The height of my feelings for her was worrying. I'd never thought about another human as much as I have with her. It did genuinely terrify me but at the same time, it proved all those people wrong. They told me I could never feel, that I was cold blooded and inhuman. Yet here I was, feeling so strongly for someone that even their short break to the bathroom had me feeling lonely. 

She hadn't spoken to me properly since we came inside. I wanted to say something but if she ignored me, I would severely regret it. Watching her finally snap at the drunk man beside her was priceless. It was a struggle concealing the laugh at the time but seeing her stand up for herself was always one of my favourite things. She was adapting my mannerisms. It felt like I'd left a mark on the world through her. It reminded me of the time at the bank when she yelled at everyone. The thought made me smile to myself. 

If I died right now, there would still be one more person in this world with a good memory of me. Y/N had my heart and soul in the palm of her hand. The idea of her throwing it away or breaking it hurt more than I'd like to admit but if it was her, I'd let her do it any day. 

I hoped by the time we got back, she wouldn't be so upset at me. The tone of her words earlier seemed angry and disconnected. It worried me. I wanted so badly to pull into my arms when she arrived but seeing Dehya with her had completely rotted my mood. 

That insufferable woman. I'd be damned if I let Y/N meet her again. I can only imagine what type of lies Dehya would feed Y/N to try and get her to leave me. But maybe... Maybe she would be better off without me... 

She didn't need someone like me holding her back. Y/N could probably replace me as the head researcher in the Fatui. It was her who took the initiative of setting our path straight and focusing on the mission. She could control herself, she was more than capable. I was just a hindrance to her. 

I think she knew all of this though. If she did then, it only made me feel guiltier. Y/N was choosing to be by my side, out of her own free will. No one in their right mind chose to be seen as my colleague. I loved that woman to bits.

Uh. Hold on a second. Love? Where had that come from? Who even knows the meaning of the word? But maybe this word didn't have a set meaning. The thought that I loved her came so naturally. Is that what it means to love someone? 

God this was like an itch I couldn't scratch. After everything Y/N had said to me, I still couldn't get her out of my head. She was crazy if she thought i would actually be able to see her as anything but mine. 

Where on earth was she? By now, 10 items had sold and the auctioneer was announcing the thirteenth item. 

I scanned the perimeter cautiously. No suspicious activity. No one seemed to be spying or creeping around. It was almost too quiet. A feeling settled in my stomach. It was a feeling akin to realising you lost your wallet or left your dagger behind. 

But, what if this was exactly what Y/N was talking about? What if this overthinking is exactly what I needed to stop and she was perfectly fine? 

I had to respect her wishes and follow through with promise. Remaining in my seat, I pushed any thought of her out of my mind and watched the auction continue smoothly.

Chapter Text

Dottores Pov:

Pulling out the necklace from beneath my scarf, I studied the view intently. I saw a vague image of a grey corridor that looked like the ones we'd used to enter the arena. She was fine, on her way back. That was a relief. I guess she was just taking her time so she wouldn't need to sit here with me for so long. 

"And for our next item... We have-" 

BANG! BANG!

Every person in the room visibly jolted at the roaring sound that was unmistakably gun shots. 

Y/N. 

No one else in here would have been able to sneak in guns. What the heck was happening out there? I thought she was taking her time for other reasons, not because she was in the midst of a brawl with someone. Useless necklace.

The bidders were growing more panicked. Some glanced around warily, others stood up abruptly to leave and a handful unsheathed their weapons out of instinct.

"Uh... Ladies, gentleman we will be taking a short intervention to investigate-"

He didn't get to finish. Security guards around the edges of the arena were on the move and weapons had appeared in their hands. Sirens thundered and red engulfed the already dim room. The people around me were frantic, getting up from the seats and pushing past one another with panicked screams and impatient yells 

What was going on? I needed to find Y/N immediately. We hadn't even had a chance to bid for the weapon, of course it ended up this way! If Y/N had been injured at all...

No. That wasn't important. If she was the cause of the gun shots then she was protecting herself. She wouldn't do something so out of the ordinary to attract attention, especially with the delicate situation of being disguised. If Y/N had indeed been protecting herself then the attackers must have been someone she couldn't leave alive. Who... 

A light refraction. In the corner of my eye. The sound of a shot. My gaze flashed up to the ceiling suspiciously. Someone was up there, was that a... Sniper? 

Within a split second, a muffled shot was fired directly in my direction. Dodging swiftly, I was out of my seat just as fast and slipped within the crowds weaving out of the venue. Amateur. It would take more than that to get me. 

But wait... He was aiming for me? That meant that... Shit. We've been spotted. The alarm, the earlier gun shots, of course! It made complete sense. But that meant that the authorities had infiltrated the market. My eyes flicked up worriedly at the sniper who was slipping away out of the ceiling platform. The only thing that caught my eye was the green leaf symbol hovering over their ear.

The Akasha system. These people were from the Academy. Which means that the alarm roaring in my ears so irritably was sounded due to the authorities discovering the market. Y/N must have shot someone from the same squad to alert the security of the venue and have the alarm warn the residents. But more so... To warn me. 

But, it didn't make sense. First off, how had they tracked us to here? Secondly, they had never shown any intent to kill me. All the wanted posters asked for me alive. Furthermore, would they really risk their lives to come down here into dangerous territory all to have me arrested?

I turned back to the seat I once sat in as my eyes caught on the sight of the shot that was fired at me. It wasn't a bullet... It was a tranquiliser dart! They still wanted me alive but if they were planning to knock me out here, that meant that there was more of them amidst the crowds. Shit. 

I need to get out of here. But what about the Silverwing Staff? Ugh... That was our whole purpose of coming. The whole reason me and Y/N fought and split up was so that we could get that ridiculous stick and leave as fast as possible. Of course nothing went as planned! 

When I get my hands on whoever put us into this situation in the first place, I am going to incinerate their eyeballs and feed them their own fingers. Never again am I going out in person for a mission. I would have sent a clone but I didn't trust one enough to really protect Y/N as well as I could.

What do I do? If she sounded the alarm and caught the attention of the security then she succeeded in letting me know that I was in danger. Naturally her next course of action would be to leave the area and try to meet me outside where we were out of direct danger. That's what sensible Y/N would have done but I knew her better than that. One look through the orb on my necklace confirmed my suspicions. 

Instantly, I was pushing through the crowds and out of the door. The grey corridors now bathed in red light were hectic with people running back and forth. Strange doors had been opened and dark paths were available for people to leave through. In fact they were being encouraged to leave quickly without a fuss through them. Surely this was a little overboard, no?

It was almost as if, they were evacuating due to a bigger threat...

Y/N's POV earlier:

Two shots were fired. One bullet for each of the soldier's heads coming straight from the guns in my hand. The sound reverberated violently throughout corridors, surely heard by the bidders and every other hearing person within the arena. 

It didn't take long for the security to come rushing down to trace the sound back to me and the two bleeding bodies on the floor. What else could I do? They ordered a hit against Dottore and for all I know he could be lying dead by now. I didn't make it in time before they confirmed the order but if these two were the heads of the operation then taking them out might throw the rest of the team off. 

"You there! What is the meaning of this? Arrest her!"

A handful of security guards dressed in black, pooled into the corridor as they examined the body and approached me with handcuffs. 

"Hear me out! These two are soldiers directly from the Academy. I heard them talking that they have a whole squad down here and they're planning to take out multiple bidders in the arena," I lied. 

Twisting the truth a little wouldn't hurt. If they were told Dottore was down here, they'd likely hand him in themselves for the cash reward. I needed them to believe multiple people were in danger and that the market was compromised. 

By now the security guards approaching me had slowed and turned to the large man from the entrance earlier. 

"It's true sir, they are making use of the Akasha system and have the Academy's symbol on their sleeves. There are likely more of them," coaxed the man analysing the bodies.

The head man studied me before his eyes flitted down to the guns in my hand. His jaw worked with tension before he made his decision.

"Move the bodies. You three alert the guards around the venue and arrest anyone suspicious or dressed in the same way these two are," he said, nodding to the corpses beneath him. 

I exhaled in relief that they believed me but it was short lived. 

"You. We explicitly said no weapons. You're under arrest for violating the rules. Hold her in the passageway beside the storage room," he ordered. "I'll deal with you later."

Shit. This wasn't part of the plan. I'd basically just done half their job for them and now they were taking me away? Where did he say? The passageway near the storage room... If this storage room was where they held all the auction items, I might have just put myself in the perfect situation to grab the staff and escape. But why a passageway and not a cell? Perhaps they used these paths to smuggle in their products. 

The sound of the gun shots must have already alerted most people in here and the security was probably leading people out. I had full faith in Dottore that he couldn't be taken down by simple snipers. He was a Harbinger. His experience was beyond anything of a normal person, surely he'd be ok. I just needed to achieve our main objective and meet him on the outside. 

"Hamza? Sound the alarm," said the head guard grimly. 

The remaining men around us, including the two holding my arms roughly and clasping metal handcuffs around my wrists, stiffened. 

"But sir-"

"No. You know the rules. If the authorities learn of this place and intercept, we sound the alarm and evacuate."

They glanced at one another warily before the Hamza fellow sprinted off to sound this alarm. Why did they look so afraid? Evacuating the market couldn't be that anxiety inducing. 

"Move lady," said the man on my right, sternly. 

They shoved me forward just as the alarm bells blared and the white lights around us warped into red. The lights flashed and flickered harshly and soon the atmosphere was hectic. 

As they dragged me through the long corridors, all sorts of people rushed past including spectators, bidders and security. Orders were shouted every so often and people were escorted out. As we descended further underground, I witnessed guards typing codes into number pads that opened up secret exits leading to dark pathways. Was that one of the passage ways? 

The path was fairly straightforward as the drab, grey corridors were rigid in their paths. It was obvious when we neared the storage room. We passed by a big set of double doors that opened up to the arena's ring where the auctioneer stood. People were still filing out frantically however Dottore wasn't among them. Good. He must have gotten out. It was a relief to know that for once he hadn't been stubborn and stayed behind for me. This was how it was supposed to be. 

The familiar icky feeling in my gut was back and my heart felt as if it were being crushed in someones palm. Please let everything work out. This bad feeling in my stomach wasn't going away and I often trusted my gut. Right now it was telling me something bad was going to happen.

"Hey! Keep moving, we need to hurry," shoved the guard against me. 

I kept my eyes peeled for the storage room as we turned the corner and a black passage way was visible in front of us. Scanning my surroundings, I caught a small flash of light reflecting off a surface from a crack in a nearby door. Something shiny was behind that door... Could it be the storage room?

Only one way to find out I suppose. Summoning the guns back into my hand, I angled my cuffed hands till they pointed at the sides of each of the guards. Shooting them both simultaneously, the men contorted away from me with a groan whilst clutching the sides of their stomach. 

"How did you... We took the guns away-" His voice failed him as he collapsed to the ground, the colour from his face slowly draining just like the blood from his wound. 

I felt a little bad, they were only doing their job but there was no other option. I was so close to retrieving what we came for; after this was all over I'd be taking a nice long vacation. Who knew working as a Fatui Researcher would involve going out on missions in disguise and sneaking about? 

I bit my lip anxiously as I pointed my gun to the chains holding my hands tight. Please don't miss...! 

BANG! 

The shock of the bullet and the recoil sent my cuffed hands apart and broke the chain. My wrists were red and bruising but it was unimportant. Stepping over the unconscious bodies beneath me, I pushed through the door I presumed was the storage room. 

As I entered and confirmed I was in the right place, another door at the opposite side of the room flew open. My guns were up and loaded, ready to take down whoever had just entered. The person in the door was certainly not who I was expecting. 

"Dottore?!" I gasped, dropping my guns from their position pointing at his head. 

"Wha- Y/N?! What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing! You were supposed to leave-"

I was cut off when a voice sounded over the ridiculously loud alarm. It seemed to be coming from various speakers around the arena. 

"Attention residents. Please evacuate the city immediately via the emergency exit passage ways located around major points in the market. The exits have been marked by black dendro symbols, we urge you to evacuate in an orderly fashion. The self destruct sequence has been initiated. 3 minutes from now, the market will be cleared along with any remaining civilians."

The words hardly registered to me. My eyes were wide, my heart pounding against my chest. It dawned on me why the security guards seemed so worried after the alarm was sounded. The place would be wiped out and everything left inside with it. My hands were shaking, our surroundings began to rumble as a countdown was being called over the loud speakers. 

"Shit. We need to get the staff and go. That's why you're here right? Come on Y/N, we don't have time to be standing around! Let's look around, hurry," said Dottore who seemed oddly calm.

Of course he was calm, this was likely completely normal in his very eventful and dangerous life as a Harbinger. Me? I was freaking out. I could only nod, completely distracted before I spun around in my spot trying to locate the staff that hardly seemed worth the hassle anymore. 

My shoulders were gripped roughly.

"Y/N. Get a grip. We have enough time to find the weapon and leave through the passage ways. Please try and remain calm," he said giving me a little shake. 

"Right. Right, yes. I'm ok," I nodded. 

I internally slapped myself for once again being a hindrance and slowing us down. We parted and searched the room tirelessly as the clock ticked and the voice overhead announced we have two minutes remaining. There were tons of items, all in various cases and boxes. It was a struggle to search through them at high speeds but this staff was unique in its appearance. It didn't take longer than a minute to locate it.

"Here! I found it!"

Dottore turned and joined my side, examining the staff before nodding the ok. I exhaled shakily as we turned to leave through the door and head to the passage way with the case holding the weapon in hand. 

"We have him in our sights. His accomplice too, calling all units to the ground floor, storage room."

I froze. My line of sight was met with an academy soldier standing in the door way blocking our path and speaking into the Akasha communicator. More soldiers followed up behind him and swarmed into the room, encircling us. We were trapped with less than one minute left to spare before the entire place was blown up. 

My entire body was tense with fear as my hand subconsciously latched onto Dottore's. He gripped my hand even harder. The sound of my speeding heartbeat echoed throughout my body giving me a headache and nausea. No wonder my gut was telling me something would go wrong. It was almost laughable how wrong this entire mission had gone. 

Here we were back to back, surrounded by soldiers coming straight from the authorities who were ordered to infiltrate an illegal underground site used to perform unlawful activities with the objective of capturing Dottore, the biggest wanted criminal in the nation and now his accomplice too, which happened to be me. Not to mention the fact that we were essentially defenseless with no available exit as the countdown above us reminded us every second that we were about to be blown to smithereens along with this underground area. 

All for what? A worn magic wand that we weren't even sure would work? I think it's about time I retire, don't you?

"You've got nowhere to go Il Dottore."

"Yes, I can see that dipshit," Dottore rolled his eyes. Even during such a life threatening situation, he still couldn't seem to read the room.

"You have two options. Surrender and we take you and your partner in with no hassle or we do this the hard way and tranq you. Make your decision," shouted the lead soldier over the ruckuss of the alarm and the countdown. 

30 seconds to go...

I was sweating all over. We were about to die or be arrested. And even if we were arrested, we'd likely still die. What was this ridiculous situation? How could this possibly get any worse?

"Dottore... What the fuck are we supposed to do?" I whispered it frantically to him with my back still against his. 

Dottore's body was stiff with tension but his breathing was steady. I watched him intently as he sighed, his shoulders sagging as he raised his arms above his head. He nudged me to do the same as I gaped at him for choosing the option I certainly hadn't anticipated him to choose. 

"Take your blindfolds off slowly, both of you," ordered one soldier who pointed a spear at us threateningly. 

We followed through with his demands. It was quite convenient that he'd asked us to do so as it allowed me to understand what the fuck Dottore was thinking right now. 

I glanced up at him inconspicuously and saw the hint of a plan in his eyes. he appeared sure and confident in whatever was about to go down as the countdown ticked from 30 seconds. But a hint of anxiety and sadness shadowed his features. It worried me.

"Identities confirmed," said the soldier into the communicator. "Don't take another step. Bilal, get the girl first." 

"I am so sorry, love. I didn't want to have to do it this way. I tried to do what you wanted and pretend I didn't care, but you were asking the impossible of me. Don't be too mad please. I love you," whispered Dottore. 

I stared at him in confusion. The red lights whirring around us framed his face and reflected over the sharp curves of his features. His eyes were pained and distraught. He looked tired and spent, almost as if he was giving up and the sight of it was like venom acidifying my insides. Suddenly, all I saw was him and every memory we'd made flashed by subconsciously.

The time we danced at the ball and nearly kissed.

The time we went riding to my lab and the sense of freedom and serenity that paired the moment.

All those times he saved my life.

The day he looked after me when I had a fever.

The lunch breaks of chess and cards.

That time he watched me happily blurt out my ideas with a look of comfort and adoration on his face.

Why was this happening? What does this mean? Why am I seeing this all now? Stop looking at me like your never going to see me again Dottore. You're scaring me…

The next few moments happened impossibly fast, his words hadn't even processed. Dottore pulled a portal ring out of his sleeve and threw it behind us. The soldiers advanced with shouts and threatening spears but I couldn't begin to care about them after what Dottore had just said. Why had he said such a thing? Why did it sound like a final goodbye?

It sort of happened in slow motion. 15 seconds to go till the self destruction sequence was completed and I felt a hand shove me through the portal. The case holding the staff had ended up in my palm somehow, and upon coming out on the other side of the portal, the last thing I witnessed was a tranquiliser dart piercing Dottore's neck. His eyes were a flurry of pain and hurt upon looking at me for the last time. His eyelids shut heavily and he fell to the floor. 

"NO!" I scrambled to jump back through, to reach out and shake him awake. I needed to hold him and beg him to tell me what was going on and why he'd said that. Why did he tell me he loved me? Why did he look so sad? Why?

The portal shut as my fingers grazed the edges. He disappeared. They all did. He was still down there, unconscious with a squad of over 15 soldiers who had come to arrest him in a building that would explode within the next 10 seconds. 

I couldn't comprehend anything. It felt warm around me yet it was still dark. The case was clutched in my left hand but I was sitting on a soft grainy surface. Sand. The view of the upper city I once found so spectacular and enchanting twisted into an ugly, hateful place I could no longer bear. The food in my stomach sloshed around making me want to vomit and my vision blurred sickeningly.

5...4...3...2...1...

I heard it from here. It was too dark to see but the houses above the ground rocked and crumbled. Cracks and crevices crawled up the walls and over the roads. Then it was all engulfed in dust. The ground shook violently as an entire underground city was blown up in the soil. Screams and cries scattered around below me, people ran like little ants. I felt the vibrations in my bones and at the tip of my hairs. Everything seemed slow. I looked around me with a blank expression and an even blanker mind. 

What just happened? 

Why did he do that?

Why? Why? Why? Why? 

What do I do now?

Where do I go?

The quiet that followed the explosion was haunting. I couldn't bring myself to feel an ounce of anything for the series of events that had just slapped me across the face were all too much to bare. 

I was all alone. 

Not a soul was around on this high sand dune where I was nestled snugly in the orange sand. 

I was here, in the safety of the desert yet Dottore was... 

What was he? Was he dead? Alive? Kidnapped? Just... Gone?

Loneliness possessed my soul and body. Every cell in my being froze over with an ice so prickly and cold, it could freeze the world over two times. My heart beat with a pulse, lacking a life. The mission was complete. But at what cost? 

Suddenly my brain felt as if it had been rewired. It was no longer programmed to feel or care or think. It was over. I felt the processes inside me shut down and restart. 

He can't be dead. He's not dead. There's no way. He's the fourth Fatui Harbinger. He's the mad doctor, the crazy genius scientist. He was... Mine. Dottore had just disappeared with my heart in his hand. And now it was gone with him. Come back to me.

Why would he do that to me? Why did you leave me? How could he? How dare you? Did he expect I would just accept this result? Did he think I would just let it go and forget him?

I felt it inside me. A small light inside of me that tickled a wire to my brain telling me "Go find him Y/N" and "He's out there somewhere". 

Dottore is alive. And I will burn the world to ash and hell if thats what it takes to find him. Every person that gets in my way will meet a cruel end by my hands and that is a cold promise. Kill them all. From this day on, I will not allow a single person to stand against me. I'm coming to find you Dottore so until then, wait for me patiently. 

Chapter Text

I didn't go back to look for him in the rubble. He wouldn't be there, I knew he wouldn't. And if he was... Well then I did myself a favour. 

I left Sumeru immediately after finding a Fatui camp and ordering them to aid me back to the palace via the portal rings they were all provided with. Everyone had been given them after the first successful tests a few weeks ago but Dottore and I had used both of ours unfortunately. 

Upon returning to the palace, I was approached by multiple people who spewed nonsense that went into one ear and came out the other. Ignoring them entirely, I breezed through the handful of Agents asking about the whereabouts of Dottore. Even hearing his name gave me a splitting headache. 

Ever since the moment he'd pushed me through and left me behind, even imagining his face hurt. My body was numb, tired and bruised yet sleep and rest was the last thing on my mind. I'd compiled a long list of things I'd work on the moment I got back here and they'd all be put into action right after I went to see the Tsaritsa. 

"I'm requesting an audience with the Tsaritsa. It's an emergency," I said firmly to the royal attendant who was trailing after me with questions. 

Their eyes widened at my cold tone before nodding and skittering off to inform the Archon who likely already knew about my return with the weapon. I forced myself up the staircase, eliminating all the fleeting memories that clung to the fabric of my clothes of me and Dottore's treks up to the throne room. Every single thing in this infernal place had lingering traces of him, I could almost imagine the lemony scent of him as I walked up. My expression was steely and my jaw ached from being clenched so hard. The anger within me was akin to a wooden house on fire. The tiniest inconveniences would only fuel my rage. 

Once I reached the throne room, I hardly waited for the herald to finish announcing my arrival. I was through the door, determined to rid myself of this staff and forget about the previous day's events. The moment I was done here, I'd be out of everyone's sight and in the training room for hours. This clinging vexation within me had to be unleashed on something after all. 

"You're Majesty," I bowed. My impatience was through the roof. I hoped this would go quickly for the sake of my sanity. 

"Rise Y/N. Your hasty return was most unexpected but I believe you have something for me," boomed the Tsaritsa's voice. 

"Indeed. I apologize sincerely for requesting an audience at such a short notice," I mumbled. My apology was about as sincere as Dottore when he spoke to his subordinates. "The Silverwing Staff has been returned to its rightful owner and I present to you, a weapon capable of creating spacial rifts and astral creatures from the stars in the sky. It may not be exactly what you asked for, Your Highness, but with a few adjustments and tests, we will be able to increase its strength and unleash its full potential with your blessing."

I laid out the case before me and opened it lavishly, to showcase the golden sceptre clutching a grey, stormy orb in its centre. It looked alive and swirled with images and constellations. Back in the storage room, it had looked almost zapped of its power but it appeared to react excitedly to being in the presence of the cryo archon. 

"We?" The Tsaritsa uttered only one word with skeptical curiousity. Who knew a one worded question could send such a hurtful shock through my body? Beneath the Fatui mask, I closed my eyes tight and exhaled shakily before replying. 

"I presume you ask about the whereabouts of Lord Dottore. I believe you might have already been informed but during the mission, my Lord and I ran into some inconvenient trouble which led to me having to leave the scene without him. His location is yet to be known therefore it's safe to say his status is missing in action," I forced out. 

To actually acknowledge it and say it out loud was agony. My voice remained steady and neutral but beneath the mask I was close to tears. All I could see in front of me were his eyes. His eyes that stared at mine with such suffering and labour. I bit the inside of my cheek and wrenched the image out of my sight. 

"I have indeed been informed. A most unexpected turn of events indeed," muttered the Tsaritsa as she studied me intently. She didn't elaborate further. "Bring me the weapon."

I brought forward the case and kneeled before her. Her delicate hands clutched the staff slowly and she shut her eyes allowing a steady flow of power to enter the weapon. I watched as the orb began to spin faster and the wing shaped crystals at the sides glowed with an icy spirit. 

It worked. It really worked. And yet, I only felt worse. A nauseating, hollow feeling overtook my body. I felt light headed and exhausted. If I stayed here any longer, I might just collapse at the queen's feet. This weapon was the reason I was in this predicament. If I could tear that green book I found in the library to miniscule shreds, I certainly would. The memory of Dottore all dirtied after experimenting with my vision and joining me at the desk to read the contents of the book flitted in my mind. Would my brain please stop doing that? Why did everything have to link back to him? Why would he tell me he loved me before abandoning me...? 

The way he said it, hoarsely and quietly, like it pained him to say it. It repeated like a music record in my head over and over again. 

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou

"General?"

"Huh? My apologies Your Majesty, it appears my train of thought carried me away. Could I ask you to repeat yourself?" I grimaced as I realised I was starting to forget myself. Not good.

"Hm, you seem heavily distracted General," contemplated the Tsaritsa. I bowed my head guiltily. "I merely asked that you step back in order for me to test the Silverwing Staff. Unless you would like to be the target practice?"

Please, by all means Your Majesty. You'd be doing me a favour. 

I didn't say this of course. I settled for just a nod and shuffled away till I was out of direct danger. 

She watched me carefully before standing up royally. Her wispy, crystalline sleeves and cape floated up as if a breeze had blown past her. She was a living fairy. The princess of the stories every child wanted to be, the magical heroine that lit up the night sky with her beauty and courage. Despite all this, the Tsaritsa's eyes were like roughly chipped silver gemstones. One look could freeze you over. 

Raising the staff in her hand slowly, she shut her eyes and pointed it forwards with a small hand gesture. The attendants in the room gasped as something appeared to flicker in and out of existence before us. The concentration on the Archon's face increased as the image grew stronger. Suddenly a fox with fur whiter than snow and eyes weaved from galaxies bounded up and down around the room. It flickered like a mirage or a projection and the edges of its body were made of connecting stars, signifying its resemblance to a constellation in the night sky. It skipped over our heads and ran around the room leaving a trail of star dust and sparkles behind. The fox, which was the size of an average man, came to a stop before the Queen. It howled once before kneeling, acknowledging her as its master. She stared down at the animal with an unwavering gaze before nodding at it once, acknowledging it back. The beastly creature appeared satisfied with this response and twirled once before fading away. 

All eyes were on me with bewilderment. I hated it. They viewed me now as some sort of saviour or successful servant and it disgusted me. My partner, my boss had been captured and potentially blown to bits in the process of retrieving this godforsaken weapon. The Tsaritsa seemed to sense the scowl beneath my mask that was aimed at all the gawking attendants. 

"You have done well General Y/N. It really is a shame about what happened to Dottore..." Her tone was drab and bored. I despised her in that moment. She regarded his life and position as if it were nothing but an old toy she no longer found interest in. 

"If that is all Your Majesty, I will excuse myself from your presence in order to deal with the consequences of the mission. Until next time," I bowed without waiting for a response. I stalked towards the exit when I felt her chilly gaze pierce the back of my head. 

"Where, do you think you're going General?" Her voice was paralysing. 

Yet, I couldn't bring myself to feel fear. I only felt burning rage. Rage so piping hot, the icy temperature of her penetrating gaze seemed to melt upon seeing my state. 

I turned briefly, unfreezing myself from the spot.

"I'm going to find my boss."

I made myself proud with the way my voice echoed with power and unwavering courage. My tone held a harsh edge, sharper than knives. It seemed to surprise her too; she could hardly conceal the way her brows raised with surprise. I watched her narrow her eyes at me before nodding and turning her back to me. It felt as if she were telling me this was for me to sort on my own. She was cutting off her help and leaving the responsibility of finding him on my shoulders. The shoulders that were already bearing the crushing weight of a million burdening thoughts and memories. 

I stormed out of the room with visible determination. I stopped for no one, as people smartly moved out of the way letting me pass. My next destination was the training room. Aching with overflowing emotions, my hands were just itching to release the pent up energy and anger. 

I'd avoided Dottore's room and headed to mine instead to change and make my way to the training grounds. The first thing I reached for was the pistols on the wall decorated with guns of every class. It was a sight to behold but I'd have more than enough time to get acquainted with them all as I planned how I'd get Dottore back. 

Walking over to the first booth where a target was placed further ahead, I aimed for the centre and shot. I pulled the trigger over and over and over until sweat dripped from my face and my arms were shaking from the recoil. I'd blown multiple holes right through the head of the target as my ragged breaths showcased the full efforts I exerted to violate the target. I imagined my target was all the people who had wronged me, pissed me off, hurt me. Dottore was among the list for being an absolute idiot. I'd give him a good earful when I found him. 

And I would find him. I promised myself that no matter what happened, I would spend every free second of my day to search for him. I needed him. I missed him already and as the tears welled up in my eyes again, I reached for a cartridge of bullets to reload the gun. 

"Bloody hell, you're still not done?" 

I whipped around and pointed my gun directly in the face of the 6th Harbinger, the Balladeer. He smirked at my action before pushing the gun down and crossing his arms. 

"You know I could have you executed for pointing that at me?" He raised an eyebrow arrogantly. 

I had half a mind to slam the barrel of the gun into his porcelain perfect face, but my anger and resentment was spent as well as my energy. I was still huffing out heavy breaths. I averted my gaze and wiped at the sweat gathering above my lip. 

"I know you just lost your 'lover' but was it worth bruising your hands like that? All for Dottore too... Seriously, never has anyone cared about that man like you have. Its strange," commented Scaramouche, cocking his head to the side. "You've been at it for hours now, you know?"

I glanced down at my hands and grimaced at the sight of them. They were cut, bruised and the adrenaline that drowned out the pain was fading. My hands shook and my eyelids were heavy. The floor was littered with hundreds of bullets yet I still couldn't seem to get myself to leave. 

"With all due respect, Lord Scaramouche, what I do in my spare time doesn't concern you. I am free to train till I drop dead and you shouldn't care because we are not associated in any way. Furthermore, please refrain from bad mouthing my superior," I gritted out through laboured breaths. 

His brows shot up at my sharp retort, obviously surprised I was capable of speaking to him in that way. 

"Hmm... If you spoke to Dottore in that way, I'm not surprised he fell for you. Nobody has the guts to talk to a Harbinger that way. Either you don't value your life or your completely reckless. You know what? I'll lend you my help," he decided. 

My gaze flickered up to his. He seemed curious to see my reaction but no hint of amusement or deception lay in his features. 

"Help? With what?" 

"Finding your Harbinger, of course. Everyone in the palace knows what you said to the Tsaritsa upon your return. So, I've decided, I'll help you."

I frowned. "And why would you do that? You have nothing to gain."

Scaramouche shifted a little uncomfortably, a scowl forming on his face before it disappeared and he chose what to say. 

"I am... Indebted to Dottore, you could say. Once upon a time, he helped me bring out my real power and I hate owing favours. Now would be the time to repay him for it I suppose," he shrugged. 

I'd have to look through Dottore's notes later about Scaramouche but the idea of seeing things he'd left his mark on had my heart aching with sorrow. 

"So you believe he's alive too?"

"Pfft, is that even a question? Dottore literally can't die. He's been shifting his life essence from body to body for decades. Possibly, centuries. Even if the body he's in dies, he's programmed his clone bodies to magnetise and attract his soul into their cores so he can keep living. Dottore's real original body has likely long since decayed and died," explained Scaramouche.

I was vaguely aware of most of this information but the concept was so wild and crazy, it was hard to believe something like that was even possible. How long and how much effort and time had he put into trying to come up with this mechanism? No wonder, he always had mind crushing fatigue and exhaustion. It wouldn't even be a far stretch to say he might have been in pain a lot of the time. Oh, Dottore... 

"I see... Well then, I suppose your help would be appreciated, Lord Scaramouche. I'll be making use of Dottore's office as a base of operations after I've taken my rest. You may come over whenever you have the free time or have something to share with me."

I nodded respectfully before leaving the gun behind and passing by the Harbinger swiftly. 

"It wont be easy, you know?" He called from behind me as I paused near the exit. "When Dottore doesn't want to be found, he will make it impossible to catch him."

When Dottore doesn't want to be found.

That single phrase stood out to me. I wanted to ask, to understand what he could possibly mean by that but I had too much on my mind. I left the comment in the air, not leaving a reply and stalked off. 

My legs took me back to Dottore's quarters subconsciously. It was hard trying to shift them of course but they were determined. Within minutes, I was stood outside the door, my hand hovering over the handle with bated breath.

Opening the door, my heart sank pathetically at the sight of the empty room. He was still here in spirit, but the ghostly silence and light breeze that remained in the air was sickening. I missed him. So bad. It had hardly been a day since I last saw him but the memory of him saying goodbye for good had made it feel like it had been an eternity. 

My eyes latched onto the mask lying vacant on the bed we shared every night. His mask. The one I loved taking off to see those devilish red eyes and the full shape of his face. I walked over to it and clutched into my hands. Something itchy and uncomfortable caught in my throat as I felt tears well up in my eyes. 

Even his clothes were still here, lying in the exact position he'd left him in. I was half convinced he might stroll in any second now and question why I looked like someone had just killed my cat. Yet, the door remained shut and unmoving. The room remained stale and empty, completely devoid of the sound of his voice, his laughter. Boy did I miss those after work rants.

Without getting out of my clothes, I climbed beneath the sheets and allowed myself one minute of sadness. I let the tears flow as the familiar smell of lemon and mint lingered on the pillow case. The one minute turned into an hour of replaying the moment I last saw him over and over again. Why would he do something like that? Why was he so reckless? 

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou

I wanted to be the first one to say it. If he were here now, he would've chalked it up as another win for him for beating me to it. Technically I'd already said it, he was just too deep in a peaceful slumber to recall it. One point for me, Dottore.

A small part of me felt relentlessly uneasy. It was the part of me that I resented beyond words. The corner of my mind where the thoughts were ravenous and ran loose like pack of rabid dogs. 

He's dead you idiot.

Give up, he's never coming back.

He doesn't want to be found~

He did this for a reason. To get away from you.

SHUT UP. 

Battling and battling the meaningless words in my head, I fell asleep in the cold, empty sheets. 

I woke up the next morning with a jolt. The dream I'd had was so real, he was almost here. Almost. If I'd kept my eyes shut for just a moment longer, then maybe he'd be lying here beside me, running his finger up and down my nose the way he liked to when we were too lazy to get up. I'd watch him, completely hypnotised as he stared at me back just as hooked. 

I was rigid in my sitting position in the bed. My training clothes were creased and uncomfortable, my hair was wild and mussed, and my body hollow. So hollow, you could stick a sword through me and it would feel like poking a cloud. 

Lazily, I got up and reluctantly changed into my Fatui uniform. I folded and put away anything resembling Dottore in the room and headed straight to his office amongst the other Harbinger's studies. People whispered and muttered as I walked by. I was tempted to shoot every single one of them but I restrained myself for the sake of saving time. 

My mind seemed to resort to the idea of killing anything that inconvenienced me even slightly, lately. It wasn't unwelcome. This feeling within me hardened my bones and coated my heart in steel. I felt unbreakable, powerful. As Dottore's second in command, if he were to be unavailable, I would be the next person to approach in his stead. That therefore meant that I was temporarily in charge of his position as the 4th Fatui Harbinger. This particular reason is what led me to his office where I sat in the chair comfortably and flicked through the diary of dates on the desk. 

All irrelevant, except for one date that caught my eye. There was nothing significant about the particular day, it was the event below it that intrigued me. 

'Riding date with Y/N?' it read. 

Beneath it, he listed locations we would visit on horse back as we attended to errands. Some were small villages where debt needed collecting and others were large fields and vast forests that needed no reason to visit but for the gorgeous view. Snezhnaya was full of them.

He knew I'd enjoyed riding with him to the lab. He planned a day for us to enjoy it together whilst simultaneously getting work done. And it was supposed to happen the day after tomorrow... 

I slammed the diary shut. If I stared any longer, I would have breached the point of insanity. I had work to do. I needed to find that Doctor, and soon. For I was more than afraid of what he was experiencing right now.

Dottore's POV:

I haven't felt pain like this in a long time. 

It was a mix of mental and physical pain. Possibly spiritual too. I wouldn't know, everywhere was hurting really.

My job as a researcher meant my life was mostly out of direct danger but I suppose every once in a while, small cut here or little bruise there was normal. Nothing like this. This was agony. But what was this? What led up to this moment?

I don't know why I did what I did. It felt like instinct. Never once in my life did I choose to sacrifice something for someone else. Yet here I was, sacrificing my entire life for Y/N.

Ah Y/N... I imagined she might hate me by now. I remember now. The portal, the self destruct sequence and the explosion. She looked like she was in major shock. I only prayed she wasn't psychology affected by any of these events. The anxiousness she felt when the voice blared above us in the speakers looked paralysing. She was really scared. The last moment I saw her, she was trying to reach me again. No, I don't like that. It still hurts to think about that one. 

My body ached and there was not a drop of energy left within me. Was I dead? Is this what it felt like to die? I can't see anything, feel anything, hear anything. God, this is so pathetic. I can almost see the reactions of the other Harbingers. It pissed me off to no end at the idea of me dying before them. 

I can't die. I'm Il Dottore. I've done and seen things people can't even begin to imagine. Those fools will never be half of what I amount to. Besides, I can always ditch this body. I just needed to understand what my situation was. 

It took a long time for things to start appearing. Maybe it wasn't long at all, but the black void I seemed to be trapped inside was beginning to make me crazy. All I can understand from this is that my body is still not conscious. I can tell that much, but my brain was still moving slowly. 

I don't really remember being crushed underneath an exploding city but then again I was tranquilized with ten seconds to spare. 

Was that a... Sound? Chains. It sounded like chains rattling against one other. Could they be my chains? No, I could sense their presence was missing. 

Wait, I can feel things now. It's cold. But my body feels like it's burning up and the surface I'm against is hard and rough. I can hear shouting now. So loud. How do I turn it off? My ears are ringing. Stop it. 

"Is... Awake... Then... Him.."

Broken sentences. My senses haven't fully recovered. How inconvenient. Obviously I'm still alive but at this point, I'm not sure if that's a good thing. 

I can feel the presence of my body now. I'm in a sitting position. The cold I felt and the chains I heard are strained against me. Ah... So we made it out of the underground city then. I'm currently captured by Academy soldiers. I was still suspicious about them however. Something about the way they talked and the way they went about kidnapping me was off. It didn't match my idea of the academy. Furthermore, they'd never do something as rash as infiltrate the black market. 

CRACK

Ouch. I felt that all too well. A fist to my stomach. I think I'm breathing hard now, wheezing a little bit. I'm sweating a lot too. Everything feels dirty. I think I'm going to throw up. I feel like I've lost my mind. Why is everything slow and hard to compute? I haven't lost my intelligence have I? If so, then please end me now. 

Ouch. That was a slap to my face this time. I think I can feel blood coming from my nose. My cheek is burning. I miss Y/N. Why is it so cold here? I feel disgusting. I want her back.

"Hey! Wake up dickhead!" 

My hair is being pulled now. Why so loud? Don't touch me. Disgusting animals. I feel like worms are wriggling on my skin. 

"Oi! Stop being a fucking pain."

Definitely not Academy soldiers. 

I groaned out loud. My voice still works I suppose. My eyelids were heavy and groggy. I feel achy and spent of energy and life. 

Wait. I can't feel a connection. No. No. NO. This can't be happening. The link between my soul and my clones has been cut. What the fuck did they do to me? 

My eyes, they need to open. Good, a small crack. I can see the floor. A pair of feet, more behind them. Loud sounds echoing. Another punch to the stomach. Eyes wide awake now. 

I see them. Not soldiers, bandits. Eremites are among them and what looked like criminals were present too. They were grinning arrogantly, all staring at me. How dare you look at me like that you bastards? When I get loose of these restraints, you won't be able to tell your head from your ass apart. 

"Haha! The Doctors awake. Had a good nights sleep did ya? Well yer in for a world of pain now buddy," he laughed. 

Grotesque sound. He really had no idea who he was talking to did he? Who does he think he is?

"Aren't ya gonna say somethin?" 

A different voice this time. Should I say something? What do I say? 

"Where... Am I?" It came out hoarse and weak. How embarrassing.

Another set of laughs sounded. 

"Your in prison, mate. Well, our prison anyway. You're pretty little woman alerted the alarm thinking we were the actual authorities haha. I guess the disguises worked well huh? Now your in the hands of us criminals and your our new plaything. I've always wanted to break a Harbinger," he sneered at me. 

Missing teeth, scars all over, metal leg. Never seen him before but he was amongst the squad that kidnapped me. What did he say about Y/N? 

"Don't talk about her you prick," I said spitting right at him. My voice was still weak but recovering. I battled against the restraints only to grimace in pain. The clothes on the upper half of my body were gone and the chains were pinching my skin.

"Or what? You gonna yell empty threats till your voice runs out?" He said it mockingly. A pocket knife was flicked out in his hand. 

He approached me with the knife waving about dangerously close to my eyes. 

"Now these," he started as he studied my eyes intently. "These, would sell for a high price. What do you think fellas?!"

The men behind cheered, some women were visible amongst them too. I was really trapped. Not to mention the energy I lacked to move. The most I could do is thrash against the restraints and glare at the wretched man before me. 

"Who wants to play with the Harbinger?" Another round of cheers. "I'll let you lot have fun with him for a bit. Don't you dare damage him permanently, are we clear? I need him in pristine condition for when I decide what I wanna do with him. In the meantime, have fun~"

He winked at me as he slid into the crowd out of sight. People trailed out but a handful remained behind with weapons in hand and metal knuckles readied. 

A hand grabbed at my hair, yanking my head back till I was staring directly at another man. 

"How does it feel now Harbinger? You've got nowhere to go and you're about to get beat to the pulp. Got anything to say before I break your ability to speak?" He watched me with a look of pure insanity in his wide eyes. 

Suddenly, I realised something. Something so spectacular and exciting and treacherous that a think a screw popped loose in my head. 

I laughed. I laughed right in his face until my stomach began to ache and tears filled my eyes. 

"What the fuck are you doing, you freak? Shut your ass up," said the man clenching my head back. 

"Aw you have no idea do you?" 

The man in front of me who only moments ago believed himself the one in control, frowned. If he thought he was insane, then I was deranged. I knew something they didn't. 

"What are you talking about bastard?" 

I chuckled darkly before smiling a crazy smile. Fear installed? Check. The people around me shifted nervously. It didn't matter that I was strapped to a chair with no power in me left. The fact that I was a Harbinger alone was all I needed to manipulate their minds. I was already infamous for being borderline insane. I just needed to amplify that. But that wasn't just what I found so funny.

"You poor, poor souls. You've just set yourself up for a world of pain. You can't even comprehend what's going to happen to you when the time comes," I said happily. 

"He's bluffing! What's he gonna do in that state? Ha!" Others agreed. 

"Huh? What am I going to do? Oh no. No, no, no. Not me, silly! Its what Y/N is going to do when she finds you," and suddenly I was laughing all over again. 

It was much less funny to them and it probably wasn't funny to me at all but I was so high off adrenaline and insanity that I couldn't stop myself. Because it was true. I saw it in her eyes. I saw it in the last fleeting seconds when our gazes collided and the seed was sown. She's going to be a monster. She's going to be a figure of terror. I know what I saw. It was almost as if I witnessed the whole future align and I couldn't wait. 

I didn't want her heart to twist and blacken until she lost her humanity but this was necessary. For too long she remained at the sidelines and took punches, verbal or physical. That blank stare she always tried to maintain around people to protect herself would fall. Y/N knew what she needed to do now and she was smart. So smart that there is no way she'd believe I was dead. 

"The moment you decided to find me, you signed yourself up for a living hell. There's no escape now, my friends. She won't let you be. Y/N will destroy you in the palm of her hand and you won't even realise whats happening because you'll be too busy begging for mercy, looking over your shoulder every second of every day until you drive yourself to madness. Good luck. You'll need it."

That was all I got to say before something big and hard slammed into my head, knocking me unconscious. 

I'll be waiting for you patiently, Y/N. 

Chapter Text

2 month later

"Updates?" 

The Agent flinched. "N-no news, ma'am."

I clenched the pen in my hand tighter. 

"Get out of my sight," I sighed. 

The agent raced out of the office which I'd been occupying for the past two months. It was a royal mess. Maps, reports and paperwork littered the desk and the floor nearby. 

He was nowhere to be found. An entire two month of sending out spies, hiring mercenaries and bounty hunters, and all came back with the same result. Dottore couldn't be located. He'd basically dropped off the face of the earth. 

One month in, and a funeral was held. A funeral I didn't attend because I refused to believe it. His white ceremonial robes were gifted to me after the funeral yet I felt nothing. I remembered the first time we'd gone to visit the Tsaritsa so that he would enroll me in as Fatui; he wore this robe. I pushed the memory away. 

Throughout the past weeks, people began to pity me. They would say that I was going through a 'depressive episode' and this was my way of coping with the grief of losing him. The palace residents couldn't seem to understand my attachment to the Fatui Harbinger but they were irrelevant to me. Mere disposable pawns in a bigger game. They couldn't even begin to reach the height of my achievements. Useless, every single one of them.

I left the office and started towards the training room that had become my second home. My fists clenched and unclenched tightly as I forced myself to keep my breathing in check. I was seething with rage almost all the time and it was blatantly obvious with the way passers by scrambled to move out of my way. It had been like this ever since I got back.

My whole being had changed entirely since returning. Once upon a time, I was the quiet assistant of a Harbinger who had picked up a few victories here and there but now... Well, I could hardly be recognised. 

My reputation had soured to that of a rotten apple. Everyone I talked to received short tempered and stern treatment. The blood on my hands and the corpses under my name had reached a mortifying height. Throughout the month, any and every person that had seen or even heard of Dottore in Sumeru was taken in for questioning by me. They never came out of the interrogation room. 

My underlings were growing tired of cleaning up the bodies and soon I'd slowly became the 4th Fatui Harbinger's replacement. It was almost as if he'd never left after I'd taken over his office.

The Tsaritsa had never called for me again and I was never asked to fulfill any duties in the lab after returning from Sumeru.

Nobody seemed to oppose my stepping up to the position. On more than one occasion, I was ordered to join the Harbingers for their meetings. It was terribly dull and I certainly had better things to do but I couldn't exactly skip it. I kept all of Dottore's affairs and appointments in check and the two months dragged by with no progress. 

Night after night, I checked the orb on my ring for any change, any shift from the cloudy grey view. It was to no avail. Dottore was either dead or no longer in possession of the matching piece of the jewellery. 

I spent tireless hours in the training room and the arena practicing my fighting abilities. It took me back to the days when I was a spy, where I honed my talents at sneaking around and strengthening my combat. 

I was skilled with the bow thanks to help from Tartaglia who would agree to spar with me every so often. My eye for aiming was among the best within the Fatui sniper ranks and so I made use of it by making myself familiar with all the guns in our arsenal. Along the way, I'd picked up many new scars from the spars with the 11th Harbinger but they were meaningless to me. Everything was. 

My mask never came off; nobody had seen my face for weeks. Beneath it hid an exhausted girl who had evidently lost weight and a part of her self along the way. The dark circles under my eyes made my gaze look dry and empty. My mood fluctuated constantly as everyone had picked up on but avoided commenting about. I'd gained the habit of biting my lip and picking at the skin so much that they were constantly bleeding and cut. 

I'd completely fallen apart. 

I know how much I'd spiralled out of control. My body could hardly take anymore training due to the little hours of sleep and small portions of food I'd consume in day. My mind was constantly trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, coming up with theory after theory of where he might be. It was all I thought about. Along with the memories and moments Dottore and I shared. 

Even those began to fade. It hurt to try to remember particular moments in our past only for them to be vague and lost. I missed him. I missed him so much it hurt. 

As unhealthy as my life had become, I'd grown as a person. Nobody felt confident enough to approach me or talk to me for fear they would die at my hands. It shouldn't have felt so good but people stopped bothering me. I could think and work in peace, only occasionally having to ask for updates from people I'd appointed to work for me. The air of confidence I carried along with my new paired strengths was a warning sign to those that wanted to wrong me. I'd become the reason rooms fell silent upon my entry.

The weight I'd lost was replaced with muscle along with emotional weight that trailed behind me like a metal ball chained to my ankle. Even the Harbingers stopped commenting things about me or Dottore to my face. Whenever we passed one another, some ignored me whilst others nodded in respect. They really had begun to respect me in comparison to how they once viewed me as the stupid girl that had fallen for the Doctor. 

Scaramouche had kept his promise, occasionally coming in to report to me things that none of the spies I'd sent out could retrieve. A rumour or a sighting, sometimes even a suspicious location that might hold some answers. Ultimately, it was all to no avail. 

It was strange to me. He was supposed to have been kidnapped by the authorities however his wanted posters were still littered across the nation and my spies had informed me that he was still being searched for, especially after the charade in the black market. It became a huge news headline. We weren't explicitly mentioned but it was hinted that multiple factions including traces of the Fatui were discovered among the rubble. 

So, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't the Academy that had taken Dottore from me. It was a different group of people. And when I found them, I would unleash wrath and torture like no other upon them. The gallons of blood lust that were stored up inside of me were screaming at me to be released. That is precisely why I was back at the palace's training facility.

I ditched the guns today and resorted to assaulting a punching bag hanging from the ceiling. Who knows how long I spent in there? All my aching sorrows and pathetic grieving emotions were tipped out when I was in here. This one room was designated to higher authority only and was often empty, meaning I could be free to show vulnerability. 

Nobody understood what I was feeling. I was constantly battling the intrusive thoughts telling me he was dead and I was ashamed to admit that I was slowly inching towards believing it. Most people thought I was overreacting, that I was blowing it way out of proportion and that Dottore and I had only been together for over a month. 

What they didn't understand is that his touch and his company had become a lifeline. Tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered waking up by his side and laughing with him when no one was looking. In such a short time, Dottore had made up for all the lack of love and affection in my life. I knew depending on him so much would end in heart break as I was experiencing now, but I couldn't help it. I was drunk on the feeling of being wanted and being seen for who I was. It made me feel alive. And that feeling was addicting. 

Now... I was here, punching a leather bag as if it were his chest. 

Why did you do that?

Why did you leave me?

Please... Just come back...

I hit the punching bag so hard my knuckles began to bleed. But I couldn't stop. The pain was welcome. I felt as if I deserved it for everything I'd done up to this point. It was nice feeling something other than grief and sorrow.

"Y/N, what are you doing?? Your hands are battered," said someone as they clamped a hand down onto my shoulder. 

Instinctively, I sent an elbow into their stomach and kicked their legs out from beneath them within seconds. 

Tartaglia lay on the floor beneath me with wide eyes filled with concern. 

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you..." He lifted his hands up in surrender as he watched me intently. 

I sighed stepping back and keeping my gaze away from my hands that were dripping blood from various cuts. I'd gathered a whole collection of scars on them that joined the burns from my vision years ago. It no longer mattered to me. 

"Y/N, why are you doing this to yourself? Do you think Dottore would be pleased to see what you've done?" He asked with genuine worry but the single mention of Dottore had my anger levels spiking. 

"Don't pretend like you know what he would've been pleased with. Don't even mention him in my presence. Nothing I do should concern you Tartaglia. I know what I'm doing and I know my limits, so just leave me alone," I hissed. 

Storming past him, I reached for the snipers commonly used by Pyro Gunslingers and headed for the target booths. Tartaglia followed in silence as if he still had more to say but was waiting for me to calm down.

"Didn't you hear me? I said, leave me alone. What more do you have to say to me? Spit it out."

"Its obvious to anyone that you've let yourself go. This isn't you. You're letting your anger and grief consume you and control you. Its putting your life in danger! Not to mention the fact that-"

BANG.

I successfully hit the moving target right in the centre. Tartaglia's words were unimportant. He didn't know me. Sure, he was a useful training partner and his worry for me was appreciated but I didn't need encouraging and poetic words. I needed the man I loved to return with my heart. Because as long as it wasn't with me, then no one could get through to me. 

Scaramouche had questioned my methods and my health before too. He didn't show half as much concern but he still tried to convince me to slow down and look around me. 

"So you're just going to ignore me, huh?"

Another bullseye. And another. And another. Bullet shells tinkled upon impact with the floor.

"What's the matter with you? How could one person who you knew for such a short amount of time lead you to fall into this pit of misery? If you could just see yourself from my point of view, you would realise how important it is for you to stop. He's gone, Y/N. Don't you think one of his clones would have stirred by now? Don't you think you would have gotten at least a snag of fabric that indicated he'd made it out of the explosion alive? Your digging yourself deeper and deeper into an endless hole-"

"SHUT UP," I snapped. 

Grabbing the collar of Tartaglia's shirt and dropping the sniper in my hand, I summoned my own personal pistol into my hand and pointed it beneath his chin. 

"You cannot even begin to understand me Tartaglia. Let me give you a little example of what I feel. Imagine you're little Teucer. You and him are playing around, having fun, building snowmen and having snowball fights. You turn your back for a second and he disappears. Where's he gone? You know he was there moments ago, right? He's probably just hiding. And so you look. You search and search and search and you know he's just playing a game with you but why can't you find him?" As I spoke I waved the gun around near his head and watched as the colour drained from his face. "Weeks go by, little Teucer doesn't seem to come out. And then one day, BAM."

I shot a bullet into the ceiling for impact. 

"Oh look! Teucers back! But he's not Teucer anymore. Because his heart isn't beating anymore and his eyes are glazed over and skin is grey and sucked dry of life. Because his laughs don't exist anymore, his comforting and warm company doesn't exist anymore-"

"STOP," yelled Tartaglia as he shoved me away from him. "Just... Stop."

His voice broke as he ran a hand down his face and averted my gaze. His eyes were wide with panic, his fingers shook lightly. 

"Don't ever let Teucer's name pass your lips again. Do you hear me?!" Tartaglia pushed past me, shoving hard against my shoulder. "Your disgusting Y/N. I can't fault you for becoming a heartless murderer, but your damn crazy. Don't come near me again."

"I hope you know what it feels like now. Dottore was as important to me as your family is to you. How would you feel if I told you they were all dead? You wouldn't take it so well either," I said calmly.

He never responded. His fisted hands and tense demeanor carried him out of the room; any remnants of concern for me torn down and burnt to ash. 

I didn't mean to hurt him like that. It was his fault. He started it. I made it crystal clear that I wanted to be left alone and that he shouldn't interfere. It was a real shame that I probably just lost a good ally. 

That did it for the day. I left the training room in a haste, eager to get out of such a humid atmosphere. On my way back I reached a staircase, where I paused when my eyes landed on the door to the lab at the end of the corridor. 

I hadn't gone back in there for the longest time. It carried too many burdening memories. I would never leave if I entered now but something compelled me. I felt as if I had to go in there. Dottore and I had spent so much time in there together and after everything that happened this evening, I wanted to reminisce. 

I trudged towards the entrance and pushed through the door. The lights had been switched off, giving the room an ominous vibe. Only my electro vision glowed in the box Dottore had left it in, the lid open. 

I sighed. There was nothing left in here that would lighten my mood. Just as I turned to leave, my ears picked up on the tiniest, inconspicuous sound. I almost thought I hadn't heard it but pausing at the door, it sounded again. The noise was somewhat similar to a clicking.

Summoning a pistol into my hand, I sneaked through the lab following the source of the sound. Was someone in here? This place was explicitly for Dottore and me only. No one should be coming in here without permission. The idea that someone had broken in, pissed me off. I gritted my teeth and stopped at a door in the lab, I never thought to enter. 

Dottore had told me it was a storage room of old things and it was dusty so it was best to avoid. Why would a sound becoming from inside? Maybe it was a rat?

I exhaled, before shoving the door open and pointing my gun up protectively. 

I sucked in a breath. What was this place? This isn't a storage room... This is... 

My eyes scanned my surroundings as the clicking and whirring noise continued to sound in the spacious room. 

I couldn't believe my eyes. Multiple tubular vessels containing bodies in a blue liquid lined the walls in rows. Every body resembled Dottore. These were... His clones. Every single one of them. They all had their eyes shut and floated unconsciously in the strange liquid. Walking past each one, I stopped to study the faces.

Suddenly my mood soured at his familiar face. Most of them seemed to be unfinished and unused in perfect condition. The odd one or two looked damaged or hurt. 

My eyes snapped to a desk at the end of the room where the clicking sound was coming from. Approaching it slowly, I narrowed my eyes at the contents on the table. It was disassembled body parts of a very old looking clone. 

Wait a minute... This was the exact clone that came to retrieve the Field Tiller core on that day I'd first met Dottore. I remembered seeing these disconnected parts in the lab but he appeared to have moved them here. 

Why would he lie about what this room held? Did he not want me to see his other clones? 

The jumble of parts in front of me seemed to be the source of the noise but more specifically the head. 

I tapped it cautiously and nearly jumped out of my skin when its eyes that were wide open and dull, flashed to meet my gaze. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to see a detached robot head - which technically shouldn't be working - look at you like that? My heart was beating erratically as we stared at one another. It continued to click away. 

Why did it sound so strange? The clicking seemed to be... Intentional. It felt like a message. A message... Could it be? 

What had Scaramouche said? 

"He's programmed his clone bodies to magnetise and attract his soul into their cores."

Was it possible that this was Dottore trying to enter this body? But then again, wouldn't he be trying to enter one of the newer models in those capsules? Or perhaps... He could only reach this one because it was out in the open and already used. The others didn't seem to be in working order. 

Click. Pause. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Pause. 

It was a sequence. It was a message. Dottore was trying to send a message. Could it be... Morse code?

For the first time in two months, I felt sure of this. And I felt something stir inside me at the new development. Hope mixed with a little anxiousness.

Scanning the desk, I searched for a piece of paper and pen. Immediately, I was scribbling down the sequence that clicked and paused over and over again. 

After a while of listening to make sure I hadn't missed anything, the head seemed to slow down the whirring within it and soon the eyes rolled back to their original position, losing any light in them. The clicking came to a halt.

What did that mean? Was the connection lost? Was he unconscious? Why would it turn off? Unless maybe, the reason it had looked at me was to confirm I'd heard the message. Once it's job was done, it switched off as programmed. How long had it been ticking off for? Was Dottore still alive or was this preprogrammed from the moment he disappeared. It had been two months after all...

It didn't matter. My objective was to find him. Dead or alive. I'd give him a real funeral if he were dead but if he were alive, well I'd make him wish he were dead for everything he put me through. Right after apologising for our argument before everything went down in the arena, of course. 

It still bugged me that I never got the chance to tell him that I didn't want us to be distant in that way. I only wanted us to be safe and finish the mission.

I left the lab swiftly and ran to the office where I could decipher the code. The remaining palace goers dodged out of the way as I hastily made my way up the stairs and around corners. This is the biggest lead I've gotten so far. It came directly from Dottore and that meant that he was definitely alive after the explosion. That was the only way the clone could have relayed this message. If he survived that, then he was likely still alive. 

Once I was in my office, I tried to decode the clicks with morse code. 

As the evening went by, my heart began to sink because all I came out with was a jumble of words. It was nonsense. Why would Dottore send something like this? At first I thought it might have been a pneumonic for something but that was a much too vast option to bargain with. 

Stepping back from the piece of paper, I shut my eyes and racked my brain for anything. All I could think of was to count the number of clicks between each pause and write them down. I'd worked with only letters so far, perhaps it was numerical instead. 

The result was a set of numbers separated by periods in between. The longer pauses I assumed were the gaps separating the numbers and soon everything fit into place. It was if I'd been slapped in the face with the answer. 

Coordinates.

They were coordinates. Dottore had sent me a set of coordinates to a direct location. His location. My eyes were wide and my breathing picked up. Had I really just cracked it?

I could hardly stop myself from rushing to find a map of Teyvat and locating him when Scaramouche stormed in through the door ever so rudely. 

"They said you were sprinting down hallways to get here. What did you find?" He seemed a little out of breath and suddenly it occurred to me that maybe he wanted to find Dottore as much as I did. 

After grilling him for answers about his past and what Dottore had done to him, he told me how he was half a step away from being a God and Dottore had succeeded in unsealing the power that was shut away from him. Scaramouche tried to pretend as if he couldn't care less about Dottore, but it seemed to me as if he idolised him a little bit. I even noticed they had similar mannerisms. It gave me the impression that Scaramouche had picked them up from spending so much time in Dottore's lab. 

"Next time, knock before you enter. And yes, I did find something. Coordinates. Sent directly by Dottore. He's alive and I know exactly where he is now," I said triumphantly. Behind the mask, I was grinning for the first time in two months. The smile was evident in my voice.  

"What do you mean sent by him directly?" Scaramouche joined my side to study the map. 

"It's hard to explain but he managed to relay it through one of his broken clones in the lab. I think they've done something to him that might have stopped him from being able to switch to another body. I mean, he would've been able to just ditch his old body if that wasn't the case," I explained. 

Scaramouche nodded before tapping the point where the coordinates were pointing to. I glanced down, curious as to where they were holding him. Maybe it would give us an idea of who had taken him but what we saw was even stranger. 

"That's the middle of the desert," I deadpanned. 

"Uh, yes. It appears so," replied Scaramouche with confusion. 

"I don't understand. How could he be there? The people I sent to search Sumeru had eyes everywhere. They would've seen him," I frowned. Suddenly an idea popped into my head. "Maybe... Maybe it's below the surface! Just like the underground city where the black market was. It would be the perfect hideout. Not to mention that Sumeru was filled to the brim with abandoned temples and ruins below ground. No wonder none of the spies could even catch a whiff of him!"

I was growing more excited by the second. He was in my reach. I was so close. Soon, I could be with him again. 

But... We'd be back here. We'd be here answering to the Tsaritsa's every order. Whose to say history won't repeat itself? How many more times do I have to separated from him? If we returned here, then we'd only be forced further apart due to our work. 

An idea sprang up in my head that might sort this issue but I pushed it to the back of my mind. One thing at a time Y/N. Let's find him first. 

"So what do you want to do now?" 

I smiled deviously. If anyone were to see the curve of madness on my face, they'd run in the opposite direction. Now that I had Dottore's location, I could do whatever I wanted with the people holding him hostage. 

Whatever. I. Wanted. 

A million ideas and plans and schemes formed in my brain. This was going to be exceptionally fun. 

"General? Why do I feel tremendous blood lust coming from you?" Scaramouche took a step back.

"That is because many, many people are going to die soon," I sighed contently. 

Stabbing a dagger into the area I'd be visiting in the near future, I stepped back with a murderous glare.

"Time to play hide and seek."

Chapter Text

"Have as many Fatui Pyro Agents and spies be stationed at this exact location. They are to monitor the area every hour of the day for the next week. Anyone that attempts to enter or leave must be brought straight to me. Inform them all to remain 100 meters away from the location and ensure they are invisible for the entirety of their rotations. We cannot risk being caught, it'll be over before it's begun."

I was currently debriefing my secretary and other subordinates of my plan. They nodded quickly and scrambled to make notes as I spewed order after order. 

My night was spent wide awake coming up with various plans and backup plans. As much as I wanted to break down the doors and rescue Dottore, there were too many unknown variables. One of which was the question of whether or not he was really still alive. This thought continued to linger in the back of my mind like a dangerous shadow. 

And yet, my plans were solid. I was determined. This silly farce has gone on for long enough. Dottore has been away from me for far too long and I'd be damned if I never saw him again. At this point, even a dead body would suffice. 

...That was a joke. Please, no dead body. I beg. 

This morning, I was beyond exhausted but the idea that I might be seeing those dazzling red eyes and that sharp smile was enough to energise me. Something I had failed to mention to my subordinates was that I would be joining the spies later on in the week to observe this prison where Dottore is supposedly being held in. 

This was a separate part of my plan that I chose not to reveal to anyone, along with many more schemes I have prepared for what would come after the rescue mission... 

One thing I was sure of was that soon, I'd be back in disguise and searching through whatever was beneath the sands of that desert. Yes. I was going to break in and see for myself what I'd have to burn to cinders later on. I needed every miniscule detail that I could get because this was more than just a rescue mission. 

It was revenge. 

Scaramouche stood in the corner, crossed arms over his chest and narrowed eyes staring at me. I knew he was trying to interpret my full intentions but he would certainly struggle. I merely pretended as if he didn't exist and continued to hand out orders until one by one, everyone had been assigned a job to do and my plan was slowly being implemented. 

"So are you going to tell me what you're hiding? You didn't really think I'd believe your only plan is to watch them and bring Dottore back, did you?" Scaramouche eyed me with knowing, navy eyes. 

"That's funny, I could say the same to you."

I turned to face him with just as much suspicion. It was obvious to me from the past few weeks of working with him that he had his own hidden agenda along with a good source that seemed to provide him with valuable information. I was more than just suspicious but I'd postponed that thought process for another time as I was much too preoccupied with finding that madman. Nevertheless, I was sure he was hiding something. A little voice in the back of my head was telling me there was more beneath the surface and from my many years as a spy, I knew he was up to something sketchy. 

Scaramouche betrayed no emotion, no visible reaction. I almost started to doubt my analysis of his character. Almost. He watched me intently before sighing and glancing away with a shrug. 

Got him. 

This was his version of telling me 'I won't pry, if you won't'. He was definitely hiding something. I wanted to know; my curiosity often got the better of me. For once however, I let it go. He was putting in time to aid my search so I felt obliged to leave the matter untouched.

"I'm heading to the lab for a little bit. Thank you for your help thus far, my Lord. I don't think your services are needed anymore," I stated coldly. 

He raised a brow but only nodded and left the room swiftly. As much as I did appreciate his help, Scaramouche was in no way obliged to stay by my side or remain loyal to my plans. He was often known for being two faced and back stabbing. The stories I'd heard had made it particularly hard to trust anything he said and this was precisely why I needed him out of the way. If he were to learn of what I really intended to do, my entire plan would be jeopardised along with my future. I couldn't be sure he wouldn't go running to the Tsaritsa seeing as he was supposedly loyal to her.

That is where I believed something was off. I had a gut feeling Scaramouche was intending to stab the Tsaritsa in the back and flee. He often maintained an air of arrogance and confidence but after reading the files Dottore had on him, I knew what he was really like. I had a strong theory that he would betray the Fatui in the future for his own personal interests. 

However, that wasn't for me to divulge in. After all, it might be me taking the same path in the near future. 

After heading to the lab, my first destination was Dottore's clone room. I strolled past the many bodies that floated serenely in the glowing blue liquid. What I was doing wasn't just for the pleasure of seeing his face, but because I needed to deduce which one Dottore would transfer to when he came back. There's no way they'd left him unscathed so I wanted to prepare a new body for him in advance in the hopes that he wouldn't have to suffer anymore than necessary.

That one looks decent. It was almost fully developed and the panel below the showed the status of its health. I genuinely wondered how he'd made these with beating hearts and bleeding skin. It was a little unnerving however, the little details hardly bothered me in the grand scheme of things. I decided to choose Clone D122.0034. It was essentially ready to be inhabited, all it needed was some configuration to allow a soul to enter it. Shouldn't be too difficult. 

I snooped around a little more afterwards in hopes of finding something useful and was surprised to come across an entire cupboard of jars. Jars filled with deadly poison tablets, explosive marbles, black hole orbs, and voice changing tablets. It was almost as if I was fated to find this. All of these would come in handy when I popped down to visit Dottore in his cell! Thank you Doctor.

I pocketed a dozen of each into small pouches and returned back to the main lab. The rest of my afternoon was spent creating a gadget that would keep me in check if I were to ever get out of control. I'd been planning to make this for a few days but now it was necessary. If I let my anger get the best of me, it would all be for nothing.

That is why I crafted a ring that would slice a deep cut across the finger it is worn on when my heart rate or blood pressure rapidly increase. The purpose of it was to use the pain created to distract me from any homicidal tendencies that might surface upon getting heated in an argument or something of the sort. I didn't want to have to inflict pain on myself but my anger was another unstable factor that I had to be able to control. 

Today, I decided to give myself a well earned break and so I turned in early. It was strange to me how I'd dreamed of nothing. I woke up having slept a good 12 hours and I'd never felt so rejuvenated in my life. It really dawned on me how much I was putting pressure on my body to work. I even allowed myself a further hour of lying in bed to gather my thoughts and set my mind straight. 

My eyes flickered over to the spot Dottore once used to occupy. I felt the nimbling pain everywhere at how empty the space was beside me. It reminded me of how we argued in that alleyway and he left me with that ever so familiar cold feeling beside me. I still felt nauseating guilt at the fact that I never apologized for my words. We parted with a distant rift between us. The thought had me looking away with burning eyes before I cast it out of my mind and prepared myself for the day.

Upon arriving at my office, I was informed that a man had been captured from the location and my heart had never beat so fast in my life. I was brimming with anticipation at what information he'd feed me. 

"Take me to him," I ordered my secretary.

We were led down the interrogation room where a chubby man with a black beard and nervous eyes was tied against a chair. His eyes warily flashed around as he tried to understand his situation. Perfect. He was afraid. They were making this all too easy for me. 

I walked in abruptly, causing him to jump and spin his head around quickly.

"Whose there? Who are you people? Tell me what I've done and I'll make it up to you! I can give you whatever you want!" His voice wobbled as he tried to view his captor. 

"Whatever I want?" 

His eyes widened. "Yes. Anything, just name it. All I ask is you let me go without a hassle. Good deal, no?"

"Oh, yes. That sounds like a perfect arrangement," I said with the hint of a smile in my voice.

Taking the seat opposite him, I crossed one leg over the other and allowed him to study me. 

"F-fatui?" His voice was weak and laced with terror. 

"That's right! I'm so happy you recognised us. Might I know your name, good sir?" My voice dripped with false kindness. 

He relaxed a little but his eyes were evidently stricken with mortification.

"Jacob Becker," he responded with a nervous swallow. 

"Mr Becker. I apologize for the aggressive way you were brought in but we only have a few questions for you, and you can be on your way. Would that be alright?" 

Jacobs' eyes looked from left to right before he licked his lips and nodded quickly. 

"Fantastic. First question, heads or tails?" A coin appeared between my fingers. 

"W- what?" 

"I said, heads or tails Mr Becker," I repeated. 

"Um... Heads? I suppose," Jacobs voice broke halfway through. 

It was evident he was terrified. Just how I wanted him to be. 

Flicking the coin up into the air, I caught it and slammed it down onto the back of my hand. I paused for suspense before lifting my hand and revealing that it was... 

"Tails. What a shame," I said with mocking pity. 

Within seconds a gun was summoned into my hand and a bullet was shot through his foot. 

Jacob yelled out in pain and thrashed against his restraints as his face turned red and tears pooled into his eyes. Blood began to seep from the wound in his foot. He was distraught as he attempted to push himself further away from me with a fear stricken gaze. 

"Stop playing games! What do you want from me?!" His voice was frantic and hoarse. 

I sighed. "I want information Mr Becker. Tell me, what is your job down in that underground facility you exited yesterday?"

His eyes were as wide as saucers. His lips began to tremble as he glanced around in hopes to escape somehow.

"Would you prefer we play heads or tails again Mr Becker? I told you, if you give me what I want, I'll let you go. So speak. Don't make me shoot your other foot too," I warned him, draining any emotion from my voice. 

"I just go there from time to time to see friends! I don't have anything to do with what goes on there. Please... Please don't hurt me," he was wailing now. 

"What goes on there? Please elaborate," I said, ignoring his cries for mercy. 

"It's another black market of sorts b-but much smaller than the original in the city. T-this one is mainly used as a prison and accomodation for c-criminals and wanted people. I told you what you wanted to know! Let me go!" His cries turned to anger and frustration. Jacob continued to thrash against the restraints but it was to no avail.

"You say that you have nothing to do with what goes on down there yet an ID card found in your pocket suggests you work as a prison guard. Are you lying to me Mr Becker?" 

Truth be told, I knew everything about this man before I'd even stepped in. His file was handed to me in advance where I learned he originally came from Mondstat but fell into deep debt. Eventually he fled to Sumeru where he heard this underground facility would take people like him in if they worked under the head management. I was still yet to understand further what they really did down there but Jacob had given us a starting point. 

He paled, turning a nauseating colour of white as he realised I'd caught him in a lie. 

"Please. I haven't done anything wrong! I just stand outside and keep watch. They don't give me a choice! If I don't do what they say they'll throw me into the prison grounds where the prisoners will tear me apart. I just wanted to escape the debt collectors..." He was crying heavily. 

It was quite a pathetic show but he was giving me everything that I needed to know. I was never planning to kill him just yet anyway, I only needed to know a few more things. 

"I told you, Mr Becker. I won't kill you if you just answer my questions. If you stop crying and work with me, you'll be out of here in no time! Can you do that?" I was growing more and more angry with his childish behaviour but for the sake of the ring I was wearing, I exhaled and extended my patience. 

Jacob sniffled before blinking at me with surprise. He nodded quickly at the idea that I'd let him out alive. 

"Splendid. Now. Tell me who you are holding prisoner," I demanded.

"W-well I'm just a guard so I don't get information like that. I stand outside and make sure only the right people come in and out," he said quietly. 

I bit my lip out of frustration before clenching my fists and changing my approach. 

"I'm going to be straight with you Mr Becker. As you've already established, I come from the Fatui and therefore it would make sense that I'm asking these questions for a reason," I stated. "Il Dottore. Does that name ring a bell?"

His eyes flicked up to mine ever so fast and the fear in them was like nothing I'd ever seen. I sensed tears welling up in his eyes once again. 

"I know him! I know that one! He's that Harbinger they made a big fuss over," Jacob spoke quickly.

My heart rate picked up. So he really was there! Dottore was being held right in that location just as he'd informed me. I've never felt so motivated. 

"Yes. The Harbinger. Tell me everything you know about what they've done to him," I responded with a slight hungry edge to my tone. 

"I don't know much but I do know he is worth a lot of money. That's why the boss was very happy to have him in our cells. He was really heavily guarded because he gave us a lot of trouble. Some rumours spoke that he was even madder than people said he was."

My heart swelled with pride and a smile broke out on my face for the first time in weeks at the thought that he had given them trouble. Of course he wouldn't just sit around and let them do what they wanted with him. But what was it Jacob said? Madder? I can't imagine how much the guards had to deal with when guarding him. The thought made me laugh quietly. 

"He's still being held in that prison, yes?" 

"T-thats right. Potential buyers come by every so often to view our prisoners and he was put at a hefty price so no one has chosen to take him off our hands just yet," spluttered Jacob. "So... Are you trying to get him back?"

I stood up angrily at his boldness. "I'm the one asking questions Mr Becker, not you. You've done your part and so I will hold up my end of the deal. You can leave this room alive."

He flinched and averted his gaze despite not being able to see what was beneath my mask. Jacob had really given me valuable information. 

A plan had already devised itself in my head and suddenly I felt like taking a trip to the desert. I watched Jacob intently before speaking once more. 

"A final question. How do I get in?"

"You can't get in unless you request to enter as a guest or if you own an ID card that allows you free entry in and out of the facility. Just like my card," he said quickly.

How inconvenient. I didn't want to have to announce my arrival to them so openly but I suppose it was my only option. Besides now I would be allowed in without having to sneak about. 

"How do I request for a guest pass?"

"There's a guild in the city. If you head there, they'll send a letter and you should receive a reply the next day. The boss accepts anyone, if they're interested in buying a prisoner."

Oh? Jacob thought I wanted to buy Dottore back? Interesting... He had just given me all the information I needed. I knew precisely what I needed to do now. My plan was to pretend to be a potential buyer and use the guest pass to map out what was in the facility. I could also ask to see Dottore and check that he's alright as well as inform him of my plans to get him out of there somehow. It would be difficult, but not impossible.

"Thank you, Mr Becker. You are free to go now. In fact… I'll escort you back myself," I said with a smile. 

He breathed the largest sigh of relief and I watched as his muscles visibly relaxed. His foot was still bleeding and his face was still stained with tears. I ordered a few healers to bandage up his foot but leave the wound unhealed and soon a portal was opened for us that lead directly to the desert. 

I needed to see for myself how people went about entering the underground area. Furthermore, I still had a few things left to say to Jacob. 

Once we were stood on the sands of high sand dune in the scorching heat of he desert, I motioned for the two agents to undo Jacob's restraints without letting him go. 

"Mr Becker? I need you to promise me you will not speak of our conversation earlier. Can you do that?"

"Of course, of course. Anything you say," he muttered quickly. 

Jacob was sweating with the pain of the bullet wound and his eyes were distracted and wary. It would take a little mouse to scare him into unconsciousness. Poor man. Its a shame he was the first one to be caught. 

"Well then, this is farewell Mr Becker. Thank you for your time."

The agents released him as he glanced around in surprise before bowing multiple times as he limped away. He thanked us over and over again but I could only roll my eyes. The moment his back was turned, I witnessed the switch in his emotions. He was angry. His lips moved as he whispered beneath his breath curses and profanities. 

I waited as Jacob turned into a moving dot in the distance before pulling out a sniper rifle to watch him through the scope. Upon reaching the exact coordinates of the facility, he picked up a big rock on the floor and placed his ID card onto a panel hidden in the sand. Soon, a whirring sound could be heard from the distance and I watched as the grains of sand blew away to reveal a platform that soon rose out of the ground as a lift. 

The doors creaked open as Jacob looked around him a few times more. He wouldn't be able to see the thirty five invisible agents I had stationed around the perimeter. 

Once the doors had opened, two men on the other side with scimitars on their back, verified Jacob's ID card before motioning for him to enter. He limped in slowly but unfortunately for him, a promise meant as much to me as his life. That is to say it meant nothing to me at all. 

I pulled the trigger and the bullet aimed at the back of his head ripped through his brain, splattering blood and fluid all over the two guards and the walls of the lifts. 

I didn't wait to see their reactions. After all, this was just the beginning of what they were yet to see. Without another word, I motioned for the two agents that had escorted Jacob with me to follow behind as we left through another portal. I'd receive a report later from my spies of their reactions to my assault against them. 

I hope they are prepared for the worst. Because, I will become their worst nightmare.

~~~

I sent in a request to the guild under a false identity before I'd allowed Jacob to return to the facility. That way, they wouldn't grow so suspicious of me. How would they react if one of their people had their head blown to bits, only to receive a happy request to enter the facility? By sending it before, it could be passed off as a coincidence. At the same time, I needed them to be wary. I wanted them to tear themselves apart as they searched for the perpetrator. I needed them to know that they were now in imminent danger and it won't stop anytime soon. 

After my attack on Jacob, nobody left the facility for a week. It was terribly inconvenient as it meant that I would have to wait even longer to be able to see Dottore but a letter returned detailing the acceptance of my guest pass request. 

Once the week was over, it seemed their ban on exiting and entering the facility was lifted and soon a new toy was captured for me to play with. A few others who had attempted to enter rather than exit the underground city were also being held in interrogation rooms and were being tortured for information. 

This one with me didn't do much talking because once he was in, he was strapped to a surgical table and his tongue was cut off. I proceeded to stitch his lips together as he thrashed violently against the leather straps. 

"I told you that if you didn't behave, I'd do your eyelids next, didn't I? Why couldn't you have just been a good boy? Hm?"

His eyes were wide and bulging out of their sockets at my words. He remained like that as I prepared a new needle and thread until his body froze and he didn't move another muscle. It appears I'd broken him.

 He stared at the ceiling endlessly as I stitched his left eye closed. Tears streamed constantly down his face and his nails scraped against the table harshly as he endured the pain of it. Once I was done with both eyes, I had his fingers removed one by one. He jolted at every chop of the knife but soon lost consciousness. 

I didn't want to have to do it this way but they brought it upon themselves. They made me mad, so I was only repaying the favour. I hope Dottore won't be upset with me. I did this for him after all. 

DottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottoreDottore

I dropped the knife. I stepped back. I looked at the blood now seeping from the cut on my finger where the ring had ripped through the skin. Shit. The blade retracted and prepared itself for the next time it would need to shock me back into reality.

 What's gotten into me? What's wrong with me? What happened? When did it go wrong? 

I miss you Dottore. Please make me whole again. Please come back. Please be ok. 

Setting the knife aside, and clearing up the bloodied mess I made, I bandaged up the cut on my finger and requested a pair of agents to come hold this man somewhere out of my sight. I would have him delivered back to the facility when I was visiting to view their reactions in person. 

I really needed to clear my head after today's burdening events. My body and mind needed to be prepared for tomorrow as the first real step of my plan would be put into action. I was to visit the facility with a guest pass in disguise as a rich, anonymous business woman. I'd be entering alone so I needed all the energy in me to protect myself in case something went wrong but I also needed to ensure I had my wits about me. Venturing in there alone as a rich lady would no doubt cause some unwanted attention. 

I intended to dress in a way that concealed all my features. That is why I arrived at Dottore's rooms to find a box of the clothes and accessories I'd ordered ready for tomorrow. 

Pulling out the contents of the box, I laid my eyes on a red, short t-shirt dress that came with a braided leather belt. The sleeves were wide and flowed till the elbows where a black turtleneck undershirt would continue to cover the arms. A thick fur cover was provided that would lay regally on the left shoulder and a gold ornament twinkled from its place clasped at the bottom of the piece. Red fabric trousers would be worn beneath the skirt and tucked into knee high brown leather boots. Leather thigh straps were also included as requested by me to hold daggers and pouches. The belt had two long pieces of brown fabric coming down from the centre front and back as if it were a second skirt that swayed between the legs of the wearer. 

It was perfect for a disguised rich lady. They wouldn't suspect a thing. The extra accessories included a white mask with red patterns and a cape with a fur hood. In addition, golden bangles and necklaces were added to complete the look.

Who knew getting in disguise could be so fun?

Suddenly it felt like the news that Dottore was alive and possibly waiting for me had brought out the human in me. I was feeling more like myself, especially with the way little smiles had forced their way onto my face so naturally. It felt good to be slowly returning to normal. All that was missing was the Doctor himself. And I'd be seeing him tomorrow.

Tomorrow. After 2 months. Would he recognise me even with the disguise? Why am I so nervous? 

I just hope you're in relatively good health Dottore. I'm coming for you.

Chapter Text

Almost as if the weather could sense the coming events of the day, a wild wind howled and swirled the sands into scraping walls and tornados. The desert was rabid. 

Luckily the mask protected me but my insides were feeling just as restless as the atmosphere. I was nervous but angry. For two whole months, I searched tirelessly for this facility to find my Harbinger and now here I was, approaching the stone that would give me access inside. 

Everything was set. I made sure to inform the spies nearby that I would be entering in disguise and that once I appeared in the lift after my visit, they would deliver the stitched, fingerless man to the doorway of the lift. I would pretend to be mortified and offended by the grotesque sight of him and it would hopefully eliminate any suspicions of me being the perpetrator. That way, I'd be allowed access back in again easily if I so wished to storm the place down. 

Once I was in, I would meet up with the head manager of the prison underground who called himself Bones. A bit of a corny name but it had my blood boiling at the thought of it. That wretched man was holding Dottore in a cell like a caged animal and he would receive the worst of my wrath. That's a promise. 

My guest pass was scanned on the panel in the floor and a rumbling sound beneath me notified me that the lift was nearly here. I subconsciously reached out to touch the daggers at my thigh then check that my pistols would still easily appear in my hand when summoned. The weapons and the pouches of various dangerous materials were certainly comforting for me. I only hoped I wouldn't be asked to remove them upon entering. 

The cold metal of the ring beneath the gloves I wore was also comforting to me. As long as I remained calm and collected, everything would sort itself out. 

The lift had arrived. As the gated metal doors screeched open, I laid eyes on two burly soldiers; the same ones that were present when Jacob met his end. They eyed me up and down before glancing at one another with a gleam in their eyes. I know that look. If they believed they could lay a single finger on me they'd be riddled with bullets before we've even reached the underground level. 

I handed them my guest pass to verify before they nodded and took a step back to make space for me. Once I was in the lift, I ensured I was facing them with my arms crossed and my daggers shining in the low flickering light. This should be warning enough for them. Or they were welcome to test me and the shotgun attached to the leather harness on my back. 

The lift was old, smelly and badly in need of maintenance. On more than one occasion, I stumbled from left to right as it shook and staggered on the way down. Evidently this facility was much less prestigious than the other underground black market. 

I breathed a sigh of relief that the soldiers had kept their distance however their hungry eyes were more than uncomfortable. Once the doors were open and we reached our destination, I shoved through the both of them and made my way out of the suffocating atmosphere. Their quiet snickers didn't go unnoticed. 

The moment I was out of the elevator, I almost regretted it. The stench was ungodly and the sight of sweaty men stalking about had me gagging. What type of place was this? I'd never laid eyes on such an unhygienic place. I can't imagine what Dottore's home for the past 2 months looked like. The thought of it had my stomach roiling. 

"Ah! I don't suppose you are the anticipated Lady Fleur?" 

Lady Fleur was the alias I decided to use. Not exactly very unique but I'd met a Lady Fleur in Fontaine at a theatre performance. Lovely lady. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I borrowed her title for a bit. 

I turned to attach a name to the voice that was dripping with hints of thievery and shadows of betray. A man with missing teeth and an array of scars, strolled over to me with a shining metal leg. 

Bones. 

Who else could it be? I disliked him immediately and the sudden urge to yank the rest of his teeth out was undeniably strong. For the sake of the ring taunting my finger, I settled for an angered exhale and a small nod. 

"That is correct. I presume you are Bones? If possible, could we skip the pleasantries and head straight to the prison? I'm quite eager to find me some new play things," I responded with a hint of rich in my tone. 

Bones's eyes glimmered at the prospect of making money. He didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and lead the way. I struggled to inhale air as we walked. This underground city was awfully different to the one that now stood in ruin. 

The lights were dimmer, casting a green glow over the dirtied walls and narrow streets. The majority of people here were men and the odd woman worked as a maid or barista. We walked past various clashes between criminals and drinking duels between bandits. Many stopped to gawk at us as we weaved through the streets.

"Take the mask of lady! Let's see that pretty face!" One drunk man began to yell. 

"Yeah! Someone get me the mask, I wanna keep it as a souvenir," laughed another. 

My jaw was beginning to ache from clenching so hard. Their perverted words were pissing me off to no end. 

"Mr Bones? Could you ask your... Companions, to ease off yelling impolite suggestions at me? I tend to get aggressive when made uncomfortable. For the sake of keeping things civil, please silence them," I requested. 

Bones chuckled. "Shut your asses up, bastards. The Lady looks like she might cut your balls off in your sleep."

Well, that's certainly not how I would put it, but he summed it up nicely. 

The men around us laughed heartily before returning back to their entertainment. We made our way to the prison in peace.

I knew immediately when we'd arrived. The prison was the only remotely appealing thing in this entire area. The front door was guarded by two men holding thick, metal scimitars just as the two in the lift. I turned briefly to notice they were tailing us quietly in the distance since we left the lift. 

The soldiers parted for us at the door. Bones motioned for me to enter with a grim smile.

"Ladies first," he mumbled. 

I could practically see the mora symbols in his eyes. He was just waiting for the opportunity to sell off the prisoners he held in here.

The moment I was in, the shouting began. The racket was unbearable as hands gripped metal bars and bashed against walls. 

"Take us away from here!!"

"Please pick me!"

"I'll do anything!"

Wails and cries from every corner echoed around the room. How many people were trapped down here? Were they treated so badly that they were begging to be sold like animals?

Immediately my dislike for Bones had turned into resentment. My hands balled into fists yet I crossed my arms to hide my anger.

"QUIET. ALL OF YOU," bellowed Bones. 

The silence that followed was deafening. Sobs and weeps soon sounded as we walked past endless prison cells filled with bony, bleeding people who could hardly be considered living beings anymore. My stomach dropped at the sight of them. There's no way Dottore was like this now too. Right?

I kept my eyes peeled for a flash of blue curls or the glitter of red eyes, even an X scar across the face. He was nowhere to be found.

"Anyone caught your eye yet, lady?"

"Hmm... Not really. I don't suppose you have anyone more... Special? I heard some rumours that you keep some very expensive prisoners. I have mora to spare so I don't just want any old peasant," I spoke as a rich woman would. 

Bones seemed even more excited at my words. 

"Oh yes, absolutely. We could only offer the best to you! Allow me to lead the way. We recently got our hands on none other than a Fatui Harbinger. Does that sound like something that would interest you?" 

My heart pounded against my chest. He's close. So close. 

"A harbinger, you say? Fascinating... I'd like to take a look at them please," I decided. My voice remained neutral and borderline uninterested. 

"Wonderful! Follow me," he limped ahead. 

The nerves that had tickled my stomach were scratching at my insides now. What would I see when I laid eyes on him? Please don't let him be a sack of bones like the rest of the prisoners here. 

"Might I ask what sort of treatment these people recieve? Sometimes, the little playthings I buy tend to break easily once they are in their new home," I forced out. 

Talking about people in such a way didn't sit right with me however I needed to know what it is that made the prisoners so distraught. We neared a corner and turned it, yet Dottore still hadn't made it in my line of sight. 

"Ah, I see why that might be a problem," snickered Bones. "Well, we tend to discipline them on their arrival. The usual beating, you know? They're like rabid animals when they come here so we just need to show them whose in charge. We feed them every day and allow them time to stretch in the prison grounds nearby twice a week. Any more than that and we'd be spoiling them."

I was growing sick of his revolting laugh and that sickening smile. He was lying through his teeth. These people weren't fed every day. At best, they were given an apple and a shot of water every two days. They were more than just beaten. Scars decorated their lifeless skin. The prisoners were both men and women. Their begging and crying had begun to pick up again as we reached the end of another long path of cells. 

"He's just around here," commented Bones. 

I exhaled nervously as we turned the corner and a cell visibly different to the others appeared in front of us. This one was bigger and rather than metal bars, a flickering, white screen which was transparent once you stood closer is what separated the man behind them from us. The entire cell was white and much cleaner than the others. A single figure was sat on the floor with his back leaning on the wall.

I felt my heart stop at the sight of him. My legs slowed and my hands itched to clutch the fabric at my chest as my lungs struggled to breath. 

He was there. Right in front of me. But it wasn't the same Dottore that I knew.

This Dottore was wearing an eye patch on his left eye and blood stained that area of his face. His upper body (which was devoid of clothing) was marred with scars and still healing cuts. He was paler, thinner. The fat of his body had become so little that his muscles were even more noticeable. His cheeks were hollow and his bone structure was even more visible. 

The red eyes that once burned with passion for science and sparkled at the sight of me, were tired and bloodshot. His hair was matted and his curls were deflated. A chain collar was wrapped around his neck, leaving red irritated skin beneath it.

Suddenly, I was wrenched back to the moment he fell before me. To the moment we last saw each other and the hurt that creased his eyes. The moment where I was sat in the sand for hours trying to turn back time. 

My lips trembled. My fingers shook. My legs threatened to buckle beneath me. My eyes burned with the desire to shed so many more tears. 

Bones turned back to check my reaction. "Quite a looker, isn't he?"

My chest heaved up and down as I forced a small nod but the truth was that I wanted nothing more than to stick my hand down Bones's throat and rip his spine out of his body. How dare he act so careless after what he'd done to my man?

Why isn't he looking up? Why had Dottore not acknowledged that we were here?

I steadied my breathing with all my will power and smoothed out my clothes to give my hands something else to do. 

"Why isn't he looking at us? Can he not see us?" My voice was as steady as it could be. A slight edge to it couldn't be concealed however. 

"Don't be afraid, Lady Fleur. He's a dangerous person but behind this screen, he can't see or hear us. You can come closer to view him," said Bones, who thought he was being considerate.

Oh the things I'd do to wrap my hand around your heart and shred it up like a frail piece of paper, Bones. Just you wait. You're going to wish I killed you now rather than later. 

I settled with just an understanding nod and shuffled closer to the white screen until my masked face was inches away from it. It was a battle trying not to reach out for him. I wanted to call his name, scream it so loud that he'd have no choice but to hear it through this wall. Once again, we were separated.

He's looking at me.

I felt my body go rigid. My eyes widened, my lungs froze. He was looking right at me. Well, in my general direction. I had no idea if this was a pure coincidence or if he could really sense me but the feeling of meeting his gaze brought a whole stack of memories crashing down on me. 

"Are you sure he can't see us?" 

"Absolutely. He seems to be able to sense when buyers come by so don't be unnerved if he looks in your direction. He can't do anything at all to us from in there," explained Bones. "He certainly tried at the beginning but he only earned a blood pair of knuckles."

Dottore's gaze fell away from mine and all the warmth he wrapped me up in disappeared in an instant. The blood in my veins froze over just as fast. He picked at a loose thread in his trousers with boredom.

I studied the cell he was in. My eyes caught on tally marks near him that appeared to be drawn in blood. He was counting the days he'd spent here. It might as well have been my blood with the way it hurt like a knife wound. He was still wearing those navy baggy trousers from his Eremite disguise. I remembered how much I loved the look of them on him.

"You're drooling," he had said. 

I laughed at that, and tried to change the subject by asking about the swords on his back. Then we departed for Sumeru and it all fell to ruin. 

My legs nearly failed me at the sight of the necklace still clasped around his neck. The orb was smashed, completely devoid of the stormy clouds it once housed. Dottore had had it this entire time; it was only broken. 

I subconsciously touched the orb on my own ring and bit my lip out of frustration. Why did it have to be him that had to suffer? 

"Could I ask what happened to his eye? It seems a shame he only has one left," I managed to say. 

"Ah. You see, a buyer came by and found the price attached to him much too expensive so rather, he settled with buying the Harbinger's eye for half the price instead. He seemed adamant on taking it so I reluctantly allowed it. It is true, he would've been the perfect item if he had the other eye. I don't suppose that is a deal breaker for you?" Bones sounded a little anxious.

His anxiousness was not wasted because the blade of my ring that ripped the skin of my second middle finger was bleeding inside my glove. A muscle was ticking in my jaw at the fact that I just learned Dottore's eye was removed and sold. The murderous intent and blood lust that blazed around me was too much to conceal.

"Oh. Not at all. One eye is fine too," I responded bluntly. I hoped I didn't sound too enraged.

My lip was cracked and bleeding too now. How was it fair that I was the one having to deal with the pain when this already dead man in my eyes was happily grinning like he'd just made a fortune?

"What's the price tag on him?" 

"He's priced at 10 million mora, ma'am," he informed me. 

Only 10 million? Pathetic. This imbecile clearly didn't know a work of art if it were staring at him right in the face. 

"I see... Could you tell me a little bit about him?" The question was forced out of my throat. 

"Of course!" Bones seemed to take this as a sign that I was interested in buying. "He's the 4th Fatui Harbinger, Il Dottore. When he arrived we had sedated him but he recovered very quickly from it and killed a few of our guards with his hands alone. You must already know what his occupation is, especially if you've spent some time in Sumeru. He is currently a wanted man for multiple crimes that I won't bore you with. Something you might like to know is that he is a little bit on the deranged side. He's definitely calmed down since we disciplined him but during his first few days here, he would laugh in our faces like a clown and warn us of all sorts of things. The rumours of his insanity didn't do him justice, I'm afraid."

Bones chuckled and shook his head but I could see the gleam in his eyes when he looked at Dottore. It was as if Dottore was a treasure chest full of gold to Bones. But something Bones had said intrigued me.

"Warned you? About what?"

"Ah, just pure nonsense really. He wouldn't stop going on about someone called Y/N. He said she would ruin us or something along those lines but it's been two months, and this Y/N girl still hasn't shown," he snickered.

Actually, she's standing right in front of you, prick. And she is going to ruin you. Anything deranged Dottore told you, was nothing but the truth. You will be descended into hell once I'm done with you Bones. Your name will truly reflect yourself one day. 

"What a crazy little man," I laughed fakely. "Is there anything you deduced about his personality or what he does during his free time?"

I wanted to juice out every little drop of information I could get about Dottore's life for the past two months. 

"Well, he's got a sharp tongue on him that's for sure. He never seems to run out of threats. Dottore is also very aggressive and we had to severely up our security since he came here. We use a serum on him every couple of days to snuff out any power within his body. We know what that he's terribly strong so we simply took extra measures. Despite this fact, he has never actually attempted to escape so I suppose you won't have to worry about that if you were to take him off our hands. He is particularly smart and has never gone a day without doing some form of exercise. Usually, he's doing push ups when he's got nothing else to do," shrugged Bones. 

He never tried to escape?

'When Dottore doesn't want to be found'

Is that what Scaramouche meant? But why would he not want to leave this wretched place? I'd have to ask him when he was out of here, I suppose. It was nice to know that he took care of his body to the best of his ability. Dottore still looked terribly exhausted and I did in fact notice a point on his neck where a needle seems to have been stuck in, multiple times. 

Is it possible that the serum were injecting him with was blocking off the connection from him to his clones? There were so many questions I had, I just hoped Bones wouldn't start suspecting me. He was surprisingly patient. I knew it was all because he wanted the 10 million mora but it was advantageous for me. 

"I apologize for asking so many questions. I only need to ensure he's in good condition before I choose to buy him. Might I know what his health is like? Does he get sick very often? How well does he eat?" I knew I was pushing it but I couldn't help myself. Bones seemed to be understanding of my question.

"Oh, not at all Lady Fleur. It's natural you'd only want the best. In regards to his health, he has lots of stamina and sleeps at least 6 hours a night despite all the trouble he gives us. He's never gotten sick to date and he often demands for more food than we can afford to give," laughed Bones. 

I chuckled lightly but it hurt my throat to force it out. The ring had sliced at my finger multiple times already and I felt the stinging stickiness of the wound inside my glove. It was growing more uncomfortable by the second. 

"I see. Thank you for answering my questions. I don't suppose I could get a few minutes to chat to him alone, could I? I think he might like to become acquainted with his new owner soon, don't you?" I sweetened my voice and patted the pouch of coins at my waist. 

Bones could hardly refuse me. "I think that's a great idea. We'll go ready a room for you. Please wait here with my guard."

Bones scrambled off to yell orders as I turned to acknowledge the soldier standing close by. 

Movement in Dottore's cell diverted my attention right back to the Harbinger. He was walking back and forth in the blindingly white cell, his eyes seemed distracted. My shoulders sagged at the limp in his walk and the way the chain collar was stopping him from walking further than 10 feet. 

I wrenched my gaze away from him for fear I might just cry at the sight of him. Instead, I waited patiently for Bones to return.

I didn't have to wait long. Unfortunately, I was taken to the room first and so I couldn't watch them switch off the white screen however I was sure it wouldn't be that complicated. 

The nerves within me were rising once again because this time he'd really know I'm here. Would he recognise me? I don't know if I wanted him to. If he did, then it would make it easier to talk to him but if he didn't then my cover wouldn't be potentially be blown. 

I was fiddling with the orb ring when the door was shoved open. I heard the yelling before I saw him. 

"I don't want to see another fucking person today! Get your filthy hands off me before I chew off the arteries in your throat with my bare teeth you twat!" 

That was certainly a new one I had yet to hear. The sound of it was like a melody to my ears. I'd never once forgotten the way his voice sounded but I missed his laugh and his grumbling rants ever so much. Hearing it now, I couldn't stop the smile breaking out on my face beneath the mask.

He was shoved through the door by two guards who grasped his arms roughly enough that it left red marks on his skin. My anger was soaring once again but the moment he laid eyes on me, everything was meaningless. 

He stopped struggling against the guards as they pushed him into the chair opposite mine and tied his hands behind it. Dottore was frowning and his eyes were staring at me strangely. He cocked his head to the side as he studied me. The anxiety building up inside me was achingly uncomfortable. My heart was beating at lightning speed.

"Hi," I said simply.

His eyes widened. The clouds that fogged his gaze seemed to clear at my voice. Behind the mask, I was smiling like an idiot. That is exactly what I said after the attack at the masquerade ball when I woke up in his bed. 

The guards had left, leaving us in silence. I glanced around the room and cursed internally at the blacked out window that was obviously used to watch us during the conversation. I wasn't sure if they could hear us but either way, I never intended to say anything that would compromise my position. 

Dottore didn't respond. Instead, he inhaled slowly and leaned back into his chair. 

"Giving me the silent treatment, are we? That's understandable. I asked to meet you in advance so we could become acquainted before I take you home with me," I said with the sound of a smile in my voice. 

Placing my intertwined hands in front of me on the table, I watched Dottore's eyes flicker down to the orb ring on my finger. His jaw was impossibly tense, as were his shoulders. 

"My name is Lady Fleur. I was told you would be aggressive and loud but I suppose I should be grateful you're keeping it to a minimum around me. Do you have anything to say to me?"

"Take your money and shove it up your ass, bitch."

"Oh my. You're a funny one, aren't you?" I giggled quietly. "I've certainly taken a liking to you."

"Can't say the same, love. Respectfully, fuck off."

I could see the amusement dancing in his eyes and the slight upturn of those pretty lips of his. He'd definitely recognised me and right now, he was toying with me. Dottore was trying to help me keep my disguise working but the endearment he used to refer to me was making me warm all over. It brought back too many memories. Of course the insult that came with it made me want to slap him twice as hard as I already intended to.

"Hm. You certainly have a sharp tongue. Nothing a little discipline can't fix. Tell me, how would you like to leave this place and join me in my manor house? I should have a check ready in a week's time so you should prepare yourself for departure," I said slowly. 

The look in his eyes told me he understood immediately. 

"Don't bother. You'd only be wasting your money, lady. It's your loss, not mine," he shrugged. 

The action made him wince a little to which my heart constricted. I ached to clutch his face and hold him close.

"Money won't be an issue. I only want you," I said. "Besides, I'd get my hands on you one way or another. Whether it be money or clashing with weapons, to have a Harbinger in my collection is a dream I'm willing to risk it all for. Do you understand?"

His expression turned solemn. A hint of gratitude and relief settled in his eyes and I was half a second away from launching myself at him, when the door opened abruptly. 

"Is everything alright so far Lady Fleur? You seemed to be taking a while so I got worried," said Bones, who was obviously lying. His eyes flashed to Dottore suspiciously. "You're being awfully quiet, Doctor. Have you taken a liking to the lady?"

"Don't be fucking ridiculous. If it weren't for my restraints, I would have gouged her eyeballs out with my bare hands by now. Besides, she looks much too weak to put up a fight. She wouldn't stand a chance against Y/N," replied Dottore, glancing at me. 

I bit back a laugh and decided to play along. 

"Ugh, how rude. What is with you and this Y/N nonsense? I almost thought Bones was joking when he told me you were wailing about this girl. I must admit Bones, he looked so much better when that wretched mouth of his wasn't moving," I stood up, faking anger. 

"I'm positive he won't cause so much trouble once you've gotten used to one another!  Please, I urge you to reconsider Lady Fleur," replied Bones desperately.

"Hmph. I suppose I could just cut out his tongue later," I said walking over to Dottore. 

I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to be near him. I needed to feel that he was real and here. 

Grabbing his face in what appeared to be a rough manner but was much too tender, I tilted it towards the light as he eyed me carefully. He couldn't see a thing with the mask in the way, so I did him the favour of taking it off. Because beneath the mask, I wore a black cover that concealed all of my face except my eyes. 

I gazed into his eyes praying no one could see the gentleness that overtook them upon looking at him. I watched as his throat bobbed and his breath caught in his throat for just a moment. His gaze was heated and bore into mine so deeply it almost felt like he could read my thoughts. 

I was ever so grateful that my back was to Bones in that moment. 

"I can tell what that buyer was thinking when he purchased an eye from this bastard. Perhaps, I should take it out and add it to my own collection once he is a part of my assets," I hummed as I pretended to study his face. 

"Would it be correct for me to assume that you would like to purchase him?" Bones's eyes glowed greedily.

"Yes. You assume correctly," I responded as I traced the line of Dottore's jaw delicately. 

His chest halted in its breathing movement as he averted his gaze and attempted to rip away from my grip. It seems my touch was proving too much for him in the moment. I allowed him to do so before turning to Bones with an obvious smile in my now visible eyes.

"As I told the Harbinger before you entered, I'll have the sum of 10 million mora ready by next week in the form of a check. I hope that is acceptable and that I can collect him from here this time next week?" 

Bones was glowing. His gummy smile was revolting as he grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically.

"We await your return, my Lady. In the meantime we will prepare him for the sale. Would it perhaps be easier to give you a permanent ID card so that you may come in person to finalise some details throughout the week? Maybe you would even be interested in purchasing some of the other items we offer?"

You're playing into my hands like an idiot Bones. I never anticipated you might suggest to give me a permanent ID of your own volition especially after what happened so recently with Jacob, but here we are I suppose.

"I think that would be the most convenient way to go, yes," I replied coolly.

"Wonderful! Well then, I'll be back in just a moment with your things," he nodded excitedly before exiting the room. 

Turning back to Dottore, I leaned down to his ear and toyed with his necklace.

"I am going to kill you when we get you out of here," I whispered sweetly. 

His eyes flitted up to mine guiltily before he whispered: "I know."

As I pushed myself away from him, I inconspicuously slipped a small folded square of paper into the waistband of his bottoms. He maintained a straight face as he watched me step away but I could see the desire in his eyes. Dottore looked pained but he soon painted over the expression with his common scowl. He averted his gaze as I placed the mask back over my face and mentally ticked off the steps of my plan.

The piece of paper I'd handed to him detailed the instructions he would follow next week when I stormed the facility and turned it upside down. It was written in old Snezhnayan, a language I knew he would understand. At the end, I made sure to add 'Eat this once read' to get rid of any evidence but what were the chances Dottore would actually eat paper? 

The only thing left of my plan was to scare them with the body after I leave and I will continue to send these as warnings to them. Bones will never pass up on a chance to make money and from the few we interrogated, he seemed to be the man on top of everything around here. Therefore, it was unlikely that he would ask me to postpone the payment due to a few dead bodies appearing. I was counting on this fact and even if he did stray from my plan, I would still own the ID card hence allowing me to enter whenever I wished. 

Getting the ID card was never something I considered in my plan so now I could freely send as many dead bodies as I wished to freak them out. By the end of the week, they would be looking over their shoulders in fear for their life. I wanted to feel unimaginable terror at the sight of the gruesome bodies that were once their comrades 

Bones appeared in the doorway once again, this time waving an envelope at me which I presumed contained the paperwork and the ID card. 

"I hope you've said your temporary goodbyes. Come along, Lady Fleur. I'll escort you out," grinned Bones smugly.

The first thing I'd remove when the time comes would be Bones's bottom jaw. That way, he won't be able to show that grim smile to my face ever again.

I couldn't risk a glance behind me at Dottore for fear that someone was really watching from the black out window. It hurt that I couldn't say goodbye to him properly and somewhere in my heart, I feared I would be separated from him for even longer. The remnants of a sob climbed their way up my throat but I shoved them down hard enough that they wouldn't return for a long while.

Now, my mind was set. I was entirely dedicated to going through with my plan because the rewards would be fruitful. Me and Dottore would be together once more and I would never let him be apart from me again.

As we passed by the prison cells that had sniffling voices and stifled cries bouncing on the walls, my eyes latched onto a desk at the end of the corridor we were approaching. An idea popped into my head.

Once we were near enough to the desk, I pretended to trip and grip the table to steady myself. It gave me a small margin to throw a poison tablet into the coffee mug before I straightened myself and apologized for stumbling to Bones. 

He didn't think anything of it and the prisoners were too busy wallowing in their own misery to notice I'd slipped in a tablet that once dissolved in a liquid and consumed would cause the pH of the person's internal organs to become so acidic that it would melt them from the inside out. I'd tested out these tablets on one of the men we'd grabbed from the facility in the past week. It wasn't a pretty sight. 

The advantage of using this was that it took at least two days for the poison to start working therefore eliminating me as a suspect because I couldn't have been in here in the next two days to have some acidify their insides. 

By doing this, the person would die from within the facility and that should cause Bones to become suspicious of his own people. I hoped it would work out in my favour.

We walked back to the elevator and this time I paid close attention to the twists and turns we took. Along the way I chucked a few more poison tablets into glasses of beer when no one was looking. When anyone got too close, I slipped a blackhole marble into their pockets. These would crack one day after leaving the jar and would swallow up the first thing they touch. In this case, it would be the handful of men that so unfortunately stumbled in my way. It's pitiful how easy they made it for me.

Bones decided to take the lift with me along with the two guards who had ridden with me on my way in. 

Any second now… 

The elevator came to a halt and as the doors opened, something fell in front of us with a loud thud. 

The action - that I ordered, might I add - had caused me to let out a little scream of fright. I thought they would have left the body at the door, not drop it like a package. It had really shaken me.

Bones had a similar reaction but chose to curse loudly instead of scream like I did. He put a protective hand in front of me before signalling to the guards to check up on the body. 

They kicked it nervously before shaking their heads. "It's Carlos, sir. He left after the lockdown to get some funds but he never came back."

I'd never bothered to learn the name of this fellow but if Bones only needed the name Carlos to recognise him then clearly I'd done a good job of taking out someone close to Bones.

Bones suspiciously shuffled towards the body, me following close behind. "How did this happen?"

"Goodness me, what a horrific sight. What is the meaning of this, Bones?" My voice was edged with disgust and offense.

"I- Apologies, my Lady. This is most unusual. We experienced something similar last week and went into lock down but it appears we are still being targeted. I'll have to look into it but I assure you, you are not in any danger. We will proceed with our plans for next week as usual. Is that ok?" Bones was still grimacing at the bloodied stitches on the face of the body before us. 

That's my handiwork Bones. It's you who should be afraid of the danger. 

"Hm. Alright… I'll leave this matter to you Bones. Till next time," I nodded my head at him and stepped around the body warily.

"We await your return, Lady Fleur," he said, placing a hand over his heart.

You mean, you await the 10 million mora you won't be receiving? 

I am certainly anticipating the events of next week just as much as you are. Bid farewell to a good night's sleep Bones. 

Chapter Text

The week went by agonisingly slowly and I almost regretted not blowing up the facility on my first visit. I resorted to letting my anger out on the many poor souls that happened to leave the underground city and were captured as ordered. Getting a little creative, I made all sorts of terrifying corpses and sent them right back to where they came from everyday. 

Some were bodies with limbs so warped and twisted you would have to angle your head in a particular way to recognise their once human form. Other times, I broke their minds before implanting bombs in their heads that would explode upon returning back to the elevator in the desert. 

Despite all the many bodies and the blood that marked my hands as a murderer, they never went back into lock down. It was strange to me. I wanted to know what Bones was thinking but at the same time it was irrelevant. I was only doing my part of the plan.

My spies reported that the number of people trying to leave the facility permanently was increasing as they tried to escape the madness going on down there. The plan was working effectively. By sending in mauled, atrocities that were once their comrades along with the blackhole marbles swallowing people up, I created the perfect mix of a nightmare come true down there. Don't even get me started on the melted bodies that would have already appeared after drinking my poison tablets. 

Morally speaking, it was wrong to torture them physically and mentally but morals had lost their meaning long ago when I became a scientist. Sometimes you need to sacrifice a part of yourself to get what you want. I was alright with that fact. Besides, I was way past asking for forgiveness now. 

I'm a bad person. I know that. I've never tried to be good because I just don't care. People's opinions of me don't matter because I've never had permanent figures in my life that have gained value in my eyes. My opinion of myself is something I don't like to think about because I know that it's not very nice. As far as I was concerned, the only opinion I remotely cared about was Dottore's. I'm not sure what he'd think of my methods but it's known that he has little regard for human life so I hardly doubt he'll shed a tear over it.

I only want this nightmare to be over. And the only way to achieve that is by becoming the worst. I can do that. I'm willing to do it. Dottore means too much for me to let go and whilst some may find my actions extreme, I think I'm doing what's right. Besides, those people down there were treating the prisoners like homeless animals. I'd be doing the world a favour by eliminating them. 

The day of my planned attack was slowly approaching and so I ensured to spend the entire week working tirelessly to prepare all that I would need. My subordinates were debriefed on the full plan and all the major details were taken care of. 

All I would be doing is entering the building beneath the ground, killing the two guards in the elevator and sending it back up for reinforcements to enter and blow the place up. In the meantime, I would head to the prison - killing anyone that gets in my way - and help Dottore out but not without putting Bones through hell and back. Once Dottore was out of his cell, we would take a portal back to his clone room where I could help him transfer his soul to the clone prepared for him. 

I'd specifically concocted an anti-serum for the one they were using on him to get rid of his strength internally. After some research, I figured out what they were using on him and even got some information from a seller of the serum about the ingredients. That way, the anti-serum would directly counter the one they used and hopefully allow Dottore to easily conjure up the strength to switch bodies. 

The plan was fairly simple and it was to happen the day after tomorrow. I was severely anxious however I spent my free time in the training room with some new guns I'd ordered in. One of which I specifically requested from Sandrone who happily obliged with excitement. She'd called this gun an assault rifle because it could be set for automatic fire, meaning that it would shoot continuously with little effort. 

The gun was terrifying. The strength of the bullets was lowered in comparison to a shotgun or sniper however the speed and rate of shooting was heart stopping. It would make eliminating stray targets way too easy and with a few attachments, the recoil could be stabilised and the sound could be muffled. 

I was almost unstoppable with these weapons. It felt a little like cheating but it hardly mattered to me. I only needed to get my revenge and retrieve Dottore. The minor details were unimportant. 

People all over the palace had learned of my plan and soon the pressure was on to succeed. Harbingers that walked by would look me up and down before wishing me good luck. It was a strange sentiment and did little to ease my nerves but I suppose I was grateful. Nobody was standing in my way and it made it all the more easier to prepare without a hassle. 

I prayed Dottore had read the note I slipped to him and would follow the plan meticulously. If he slipped up, it would all be for nothing. We needed to finish this once and for all. 

I am tired. I am just exhausted. I just want it all to go away, leaving Dottore and I to be together in peace. To achieve that future, I will do whatever it takes. The short experience of being with him had made me happier than I've ever been and the fact that I could still have my science and experimenting along with it made it twice as good. 

And so, everything was set and ready for the day of the 'sale'. I took the next day or so to mentally prepare myself, making sure I had eaten a full meal and slept over ten hours. I was ready for this. This day was long overdue. 

I woke up with a heart of steel and a fist of iron. Nothing will remain down there. 

My first step was getting into my new battle suit. A full black bodysuit with layered metal shoulder panels. It was covered in leather straps from the chest downwards and the thigh high boots resembled knight armour. It was perfect from head to toe. The red scarf wrapped around my neck that flowed behind me like a cape and the black mask that wrapped around my throat, stopping to cover only the bottom half of my face would surely be memorable for the many that would die today. 

The assault rifle was attached to my back and on the various leather straps, I ensured to have an abundance of bullets. Daggers were tucked into other straps nicely and I pulled off my blade ring to complete the fit. There was no need to bottle up my anger anymore. 

I stormed through the corridors to the designated gathering point on the first floor of the palace, specifically the main landing. People flinched at the sight of me and hurried in the opposite direction. Most knew about what I intended to do today and anyone that got in my way would meet a measly end. 

Upon arriving at the top of the stairs, I ran my gaze over the landing to view the people I'd gathered. Dozens of Fatui Pyro Agents, Electro Cicin Mages and Mirror Maidens awaited my orders below me. They all glanced up to acknowledge my arrival and kneeled to one knee with a hand on their hearts. I felt the power of it all surging through my veins. Right now, they viewed me as the 4th Fatui Harbinger's replacement. I wonder how Dottore would react to that. 

Making my way down, I uttered one word. 

"Rise."

Simultaneously, everyone stood and waited with bated breath to hear my orders. 

"You all know why we are gathered here today. Our 4th Harbinger was taken from us and for too long we have searched to bring him back. Now that we know where to look, all the efforts we have put into gathering information will be used efficiently as we bring down the perpetrators of this treacherous crime against the Fatui. You have been briefed on your objectives, so carry them out as if it were your last day on Teyvat, soldiers. Do I have your pledge that you will fight with honour by my side?" My voice ricocheted off the crystalline walls with a temperature so low the Tsaritsa would have been proud. 

"Yes Ma'am!" Their promise to me was reassuring. 

It may be true that much of the Fatui's army isn't terrifically strong but their sense of duty and loyalty is stronger than any you'll find. This is what the nation of Snezhnaya is about. So, although I cannot rely on them to have my back the entire way, I know they'll do their job to the best of their abilities. That's all I needed. After all, I'll be the one doing the most damage. 

"Good. Ready the portals and begin your departure. Maintain a good distance until you receive the signal. Dismissed."

They turned and the lieutenants of each squad threw the portal rings, allowing them to enter the target location. They would remain on the outskirts of the coordinates until the elevator came back up for them. 

I was patting my pocket to check for the ID card when someone tapped my shoulder. Turning around, I was met with dull, navy eyes. My own eyes widened a little at the unexpected visitor. 

"Lord Tartaglia. I wasn't expecting to see you today," was all I could think to say. 

He watched me intently with a cold glare before averting his gaze and sighing. "Well, I wanted to wish you good luck, I suppose. Evidently, you won't need it after that speech... I guess I also wanted to... Apologize."

"Apologize? Whatever way you think you have wronged me, you haven't my Lord. I need no apology from you. Your gesture of good luck is all I require. Thank you," I responded. 

"No. I told you that Dottore was dead and that you should give up. If you had listened to me, this wouldn't be happening today. You wouldn't be standing here with such a strong presence ordering a small army to entrust their honour to you. I'm sorry for the insensitive words I said to you," he huffed. 

I pursed my lips before shaking my head. "I won't accept your apology Childe. The fact still remains, you have nothing to apologize for. Everything you said came from a good place and that's all that matters. It is me who should be apologising. What I said was horrible and senseless. I can't exaggerate how much I regret what I said and for that, I will always be available should you ever need my help."

I bowed to him with a hand on my heart and hoped he would at least acknowledge my apology. I didn't need him to forgive me or accept the apology. I only needed him to know how sorry I am. 

"General, what are you doing?! Don't be silly! Please stand up," said Childe anxiously. He sighed before speaking again. "Look, we were both in the wrong. I'll accept your apology if you accept mine."

Standing up straight, I studied him with surprise. 

"Well if that's what you want then alright. I accept your apology," I nodded. 

"Great! Likewise," he smiled. The gesture had my nerves settle just a little bit. "By the way, you look totally badass right now. I don't suppose you might like some extra help from me? To be honest, I'm feeling a little restless today."

"I appreciate it Childe, but I want to be the one to finish this. I will surely invite you along if I ever choose to terrorise another building again," I smiled beneath the mask, making my eyes crease. 

His eyes softened. "This is the Y/N I remember. I guess the Doctor really did make a good impression on you. I'm happy for you Y/N. Go get that madman back."

A full fledged smile broke on my face and a small laugh left my lips. It felt good to be more like myself. This conversation with Childe was something I never thought would be necessary. I always planned to apologize, it just so happens to have taken place at a very convenient time. Nodding to him with gratitude, I turned and prepared my own portal ring as the last squad exited the landing. 

I chucked the ring into the air before it fizzled and exploded into a swirling, circular storm. Clenching my fists and straightening my spine, I walked through with my held high. 

Today, the desert had chosen to be a steaming oven and the sand was baking. Us humans were merely the toppings. We wouldn't be out here for much longer but it was certainly uncomfortable. Especially in a skin tight black bodysuit. 

Motioning with my hands, I signalled to everyone to take their positions as I marched through the sands till I reached the rock. I swallowed. My heart was lurching out of my chest but soon, I would be free of these shackles holding me down. Dottore would be too. 

With this thought in mind, I lifted the rock and scanned my new ID card. As planned, I signalled to my reinforcements to stand by. The sound of rattling and rumbling come from below my feet. The lift was on its way. The vibrations it caused hardly eased my nerves however, I was entirely confident in this mission. We would come out on top. 

Once more, I raised a hand to motion for the first small squad to join behind me. They remained invisible as the doors began to pull themselves open and the two familiar guards took in my attire as I stepped forward. 

Not leaving a single second to spare, I pulled the trigger allowing two bullets to rip through their foreheads. They had hardly a miniscule opportunity to even move before their bodies were sprawled on the floor and their brains lay in a gruesome mess all over the elevator. 

Wiping the suppressor and the barrel of the gun on my thigh, I ordered for the handful of agents to move the bodies. They swiftly removed their invisibility and proceeded to drag the bodies out, giving them enough space to ride the elevator with me. Once we were ready to descend, I gestured to the remaining squads to approach the elevator and wait for us to send it back up. They moved like shadows in the night or sand storms in the desert. It was nice to see them work efficiently. Dottore may have exaggerated when he complained about them being useless fools. 

As the doors came to a screeching close, we stood in silence beneath the flickering light in the lift. The familiar sound of entertained yelling and the waft of a sour smell grew stronger as the seconds went by. Soon, we reached a wobbly halt. 

Clenching my fists and exhaling out any anxiety in my system, I extended my hand out for the agent on my left to hand me the small explosives. They were clutched tightly in my hand as we watched the doors wrench open. Bones wasn't waiting for me this time. It was a pair of guards holding axes. 

Their eyes blared with panic at the sight of me and my subordinates. Once again, I left no margin for them to attack as I blew bullets into their heads and hearts. Despite the suppressor muffling the sound, the sight of a woman dressed in black with dozens of weapons strapped to her body as well a squad of Fatui Agents behind her is simply something you can't miss. 

"What the fuck did you just do?!"

"Hey! Get them!"

Well, you can certainly try. 

I smirked as multiple men around us began approaching with large weapons or smashed glass. I wouldn't waste my time on such weak opponents of course, so I merely chucked a few explosives to my right and acid orbs to my left. Cries of pain and explosions sounded around us. It was music to my ears. 

My explosives had successfully taken out a handful of men who now lay unmoving on the floor nearby. A fire had started at the pub opposite the lift we just exited and the faces of criminals on my left were melting off due to the acid.

"You know your orders, agents. Go. Wreak havoc as you wish," I stated. 

They nodded and swiftly sprinted in various directions, slicing at the throats of oncoming bandits and lighting fires in the surrounding stores. Already it was looking just as how I imagined it. 

"I've got you know little bitch," growled an Eremite. 

He was sprinting towards me at full speed with a dozen men following close behind. 

Time to test this rifle on real targets. I hope this gun won't let me down, Sandrone.

I moved faster than ever as I wrenched the gun from my back and aimed. The assault rifle I'd been practicing with for the past week had never done such a good job before. Bullet shells littered the floor as I riddled oncoming enemies with bullets in every direction. 

I laughed at their pathetic attempts to attack me but it was short lived as I witnessed a set of thick skinned, muscle decked soldiers storm their way towards me. 

I'd hardly moved away from the elevator yet and they were already coming at me like an army. The soldiers paired with the many still standing criminals rushed in my direction. It didn't deter me however because the sound of the lift stopping at this floor had just reached my ears and a new squad of Electro Cicin Mages laughed cruelly, sending their little buzzing creatures at anyone attempting to take me down. 

"They'll be many more coming soon. Keep sending the elevator up and remain stationed around here to ensure the next squad are protected upon their arrival. Im going to retrieve the Doctor," I stated coldly. 

They nodded as I reattached the rifle to my back and summoned my pistols back into my hands. I ran right at the soldiers advancing towards me. Many of them had begun to break off formation as they battled the Cicin Mages and invisible Agents however the few that had their eyes trained on me, looked enraged. Unfortunately for them, their anger couldn't even amount to a third of mine. 

Any emotions and useless thoughts were banished from my mind as I switched into full offensive mode. My eyes were like scopes and my fingers pulled the trigger countless times, never missing a single target. Bodies continued to crumple to the ground as I dodged flying daggers and arrows. 

Whilst I knew all the training I had done for the past two months was useful, I never ever thought it could put me at such a high level. I was passing through these enemies as if they were harmless flowers in a field. My legs have never carried me so fast, my mind has never been so focused and sharp. Any cuts or bruises that somehow found their way onto my body were completely painless as I skidded below huge claymores and leaped out of the line of arrows. 

Soon, I was nearing the prison and all that could be heard was the sound of explosions and screams. As I rounded another corner, a fist collided with my stomach sending me stumbling back and gasping for air. 

The level of anger I felt heightened as I faced a man twice as tall as I, who appeared to be protecting me from someone. Clenching my teeth and standing up straight, I forced my breathing back into a steady pattern. My head cocked to the side as I viewed the wretched coward that stood behind the guard. 

Of course it was Bones. 

In that moment, I couldn't help but laugh. The action caused the muscles in my stomach to ache but it was irrelevant compared to the glowing delight I felt within me. 

"Bones! I am simply overjoyed you decided to meet me halfway. I don't suppose Dottore's ready to be collected? Lady Fleur won't be coming," I spat. 

Bones's eyes widened at the sight of me. Once his gaze met mine, it clicked instantly. He recognised me as the supposed buyer of Dottore however this time, the greed that once stained his eyes was replaced with pure fright. 

"So you were that Y/N after all huh? I guess the Doctor wasn't half as deranged as we thought he was. You won't be able to get further than this bitch. Jacques is the Grim Reaper of the Pyro nation. You'll never leave here alive," said Bones with evident fear in his voice. 

"You know, I hoped you might make it a little hard for me. That way, once I get my hands on you, it would feel even better to see the way the life drains from your eyes. Listen to me Bones, all those bodies I gifted to you are nothing in comparison to what I'll do to you once I'm finished here. It is you who will never leave this place alive, my friend. Send a whole battalion of warriors if you so wish. As far as your concerned, I am a debt collector sent by Death himself," my voice was an incarnation of hellfire. 

Bones whimpered before taking a step back and yelling at his personal guard to attack. Glancing behind his shoulder, I registered the army of soldiers heading over from the prison. 

The sight of dead bodies and blood splattered over the walls was satisfactory. My agents worked to lower the number of the approaching army as I set my sights on the so called Grim Reaper before me. 

He was enormous. His arms were bulging with muscle and his face was scowling angrily. I steeled myself and prepared to shoot with the pistols in my hands but he was fast. Faster than I anticipated for a man of his size. Jacques had wacked my hands out of the way, sending the pistols flying out of my grip. My fingers pulsed with pain and suddenly the pistols refused to appear back into my hands. 

Glancing up, I dodged hastily as he prepared to slam another meaty hand into my face. Slipping a few daggers between my fingers, I launched myself at the guard and attempted to slice at his throat however it was to no avail. His towering height gave him an almighty advantage and the moment I was inches from his neck, his fist collided with my ribs. 

My back hit the nearby wall as I spat blood from my mouth and wiped at the trickling red from my nose. I saw stars in my vision and standing up sent a nauseating pang of pain through my legs but the adrenaline pushed me forward. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the sight of my agents loosing their battles. Soldiers advanced towards us as I sprinted towards Jacques. He prepared himself to counter however I knew better. Dropping to the floor, I skidded past his feet and sliced deep gashes into his legs. 

The rifle on my back was back into my hands, as I pulled the trigger with my sights set on his heart. Unfortunately, the bleeding knife wounds in his shins hardly dettered him. His hand wrapped around the sleek black metal of my rifle and wrenched it out of my grip. 

He threw it at the nearby wall and clutched my throat with ease. A grim smile rose on his face as I heard Bones bark out a laugh behind him. A line of soldiers were now standing protectively in front of him. 

"Little bitch, don't think you can cut me and get away with it. You want the Doctor? I'll send you both to hell," Jacques gritted out. 

"Don't kill her just yet, idiot. I want a chance to break her just like how she did with my buddies," smirked Bones. 

Jacques squeezed at my throat threateningly making my vision go black. Of course, I don't intend to die anytime soon. If I can just reach the acid orb in the pouch at my hip. 

Jacques laughed before turning us around and throwing me at Bones's feet. My vision cleared slowly and I prepared to reach for the remaining daggers attached to my body however I was intercepted. Two soldiers gripped my arms tightly as the ground shook with more explosions. Bones stumbled a little, but the smirk on his face never faltered. The guards at my sides dug their hands into my arms and wrenched them behind my back.

"What was it that Dottore had said? Something about Y/N being able to take us all down? Evidently, you're useless, lady. And you were so confident in yourself too! Haha, a disappointment as expected," laughed Bones. 

He approached me with a pocket knife flicked out. I focused my blurry vision on him as he stalked towards me, waving the knife about and spewing some nonsense I wasn't listening to. I knew I wouldn't die here. My gut told me so. And I believed it. Because there was still one trick left up my sleeve. 

"How dare you kill my men and mutilate their bodies as if they were objects on display in a freak show? Do you know how inconvenient it was to clean up the melted flesh of the men that had somehow managed to acidify themselves from the inside out?" Bones was right in front of me, breathing heavily with blood shot eyes. 

As I struggled against the grip of the soldiers holding me, I laughed in his face like a maniac. 

"I had such fun when I was destroying your little friends. You brought this upon yourself Bones. Did you think the Fatui would just let you take a Harbinger with no consequences? You must be completed stupid haha! If you think you've won right now, you are the deranged one," I said spitting in his face. 

He retorted back in disgust with an enraged expression on his face. The soldiers holding me sent a fist into my stomach and shoved me down to my knees. 

"Hold her as still as possible. This is going to hurt Y/N," Bones said in a low tone. 

I made sure to make as much fuss and trouble for the soldiers as possible. The guards standing before Bones merely snickered at my pathetic attempts to escape. The smell of coppery blood and burning bodies snuck into my nose. 

"Get off me! I'm going to mash your body to pieces Bones!" My voice was hoarse and bold.

"Are you now? Did you hear that boys?" He laughed grossly. "What do you think you could possibly do in your position, Y/N?"

I exhaled and gathered every ounce of my will power and strength. 

"I'll break you."

Suddenly everything moved in slow motion. I felt my senses heighten strangely as Bones lifted the knife up high and brought it down to my eye. His hand never made it unfortunately. 

It happened too fast. Speed of light fast. I felt it so strongly in my veins. My hidden wild card. 

The electricity charged my blood and sent bolts of energy through my neurones. The power that surged in me was enormous. So huge that moments before the knife sliced through my left eye, my body turned into pure electro energy and teleported me out of their strong grip. 

The shock I left behind me sent the soldiers bounding back and Bones toppling over. My electro vision had appeared in a flash of purple at my waist as I teleported from corner to corner, bouncing off the walls to slice through throats and cut off heads. 

Bones's hand had been ripped off his wrist and toppled to the floor, still clutching the knife. He was paralysed to the spot. To me, they moved liked sloths. My view at the moment was all too fast for them to keep up with as the speed that my electro vision pushed my with was too far ahead of them. My eyes glowed as I watched the soldiers clutch at their wounds gushing with blood. 

Bones glanced in every direction trying to comprehend what on earth was taking place at this very second but it was useless. Because I was ahead of them all by seconds. Every member of his little army was assaulted by a flash of purple and soon limitless bodies littered the dirty path beneath us. 

Jacques was panicked as he warily looked around. A pair of swords had ended up in both his hands as he prepared himself for an attack. However, nothing came. I disappeared completely out of sight, leaving the scene utterly silent. The only noise that could be heard was Bones's frantic orders to protect him and Jacques's pants of anger as he held the swords in front of him and his master protectively.

"Bones~" I taunted. 

My voice was everywhere but nowhere. I knew I was running late to retrieving Dottore but I couldn't help myself. I wanted Bones to experience the agony he put me through in the past two months. He needed to bleed in the way I did, in the way Dottore did.

"Show yourself, bitch," yelled Jacques. 

"Do you really want that Grim Reaper? Are you prepared to face my wrath?" My voice was whispered in his ear before I once again teleported out of sight. 

He whipped around impossibly fast but was faced with nothing but dust and air. His eyes were wild and scanned his surroundings like an eagle. 

"Do something Jacques! She's just a stupid woman! We shouldn't even be standing here. She should be dead!" Bones was angry and shaking. 

He clutched his handless arm tightly as blood splashed the floor beneath them. His skin was ashen pale and his complexion looked awfully sickening. I needed him awake and conscious when I began my mind prickling torture. To speed things up, I appeared in front of them.

Jacques wasted no time charging at me with a battle cry that made me cringe. I stood still as a statue with a smug smile. It only angered him further as he closed the distance between us. 

I sighed boredly before pulling back my hands in a way that imitated the actions of shooting an arrow. A lavish, purple bow made of electro materialised in my hands and buzzed with pure electro energy. Similarly, a purple arrow also created itself in my grip. The arrow seemed to billow purple sparks and stars. Letting go, the arrow zipped through the air with the sound of an earth shattering lightning bolt. 

It ripped directly through Jacques's chest, leaving a gaping hole where his heart and lungs once pulsed. The ragged edges of his rib bones were visible as well as the blood that flooded out dangerously. His eyes were wide as he glanced down at the damage I'd done. I could see Bones on the other side of the hole. He didn't waste a second when he turned his back to me and sprinted as fast as his metal leg could take him. 

Having already forgotten Jacques, I strolled past him calmly as his swords clanged upon impact with the ground. The quietest groan of pain left his lips before he thudded lifelessly to the floor. How dull. I truly hoped he would put up a better fight. The damage he'd done to my rib and fingers irritated me to no end and I would've liked to return the gesture but I think the choice I chose to follow worked well too. 

Bones was still running like a silly little man when I appeared in front of him. My hand wrapped around his throat. He wriggled like a worm in my vice like grip. He spewed pathetic begs and wails for mercy but my vision was drenched in red and my mind screamed: 

KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL

"I warned you," I whispered.

His eyes streamed tears that couldn't seem to end and his hand still dribbled with crimson liquid. The sight of his bone sticking out of the amputated limb would have been nauseating for some but it didn't hinder me.

"P-please... Please... I'm- I'm sorry... I don't want to die.... Don't..."

"You're voice makes me gag. Nothing you say will change your fate," I decided. 

I'd wasted enough time here as it is and so I made the decision to finish it all. Whilst I would have loved to torture him till his eyes popped out, Dottore was waiting for me.

I laced my hand with electro and stuck it through his chest. He made an 'umph' sound as my hand penetrated the skin, the bones, the tissue and wrapped around the round shape of his heart. Pulling back, I wrenched the organ he didn't deserve to own from his body and stood rigid as the blood spurted everywhere around us. His face was dripping with his own blood as his eyes glazed over and his body went limp in my grip. 

I knew he deserved a much slower, painful death however the sound of explosions were dwindling and not a single living soul remained around us. Everyone had been slaughtered and a fire was spreading rapidly around me. Black smoke began to mist the atmosphere as I threw the corpse at the wall, letting the blood paint it like an abstract piece of art. 

I exhaled. Not a drop of energy or anger was left within me. Everything inside of me was spent just as how I intended it to be and now all that was left was finding him.

I wiped the revolting blood of my enemies off my face and stepped over their bloodied bodies. 

My sights were set on the prison. I decided to expend the little energy I had left to jog my way there and was greeted with  a black charred metal door. The sound of panicked screams coming from the other side was giving me a headache. 

I whistled once and immediately three Pyro Agents zipped around the corner and appeared behind me. 

"Unlock the prisoner's cells and lead them out through a portal. Leave them be after that," I ordered weakly. 

The Agents got to work instantly, sliding past me like shadows and working to unlock the metal bars. 

I passed the prisoners, ignoring them entirely and forcing one foot in front of the other. Nearly there. 

"Ah... I'm spent," I muttered underneath my breath.

Please Dottore. Tell me you understood the plan.

Turning the corner, he was there. In all his beautiful glory, Dottore was pacing back and forth in the prison cell.

The sight of him had me running as fast as my legs could carry me. I rounded the cage and found a control panel. With the last couple of daggers still clinging onto my thighs, I stabbed at the panel and a large spark flashed before the screen flickered away. 

With one final exhale, I wasted no time racing towards Dottore and throwing my arms around him until we toppled over and fell to the floor together. 

"You fucking idiot," I whispered weakly. 

He chuckled into my hair as he always used to and the gesture gave me a second heart beat. It was almost as if he'd never left. Almost

"I missed you too, darling."

I started laughing. I laughed so hard, tears fell from my eyes and my stomach hurt like no other pain I've ever experienced. 

"I love you too, Dottore. Now that I've said it, you're not allowed to leave me ever again. Ok?" 

He pulled back to see my face, and I noticed they'd cleaned him up. His hair was washed - still lacking the soft curls but clean - and his skin was no longer dirtied with blood and filth. His face was was set in an expression of bewilderment with eyes that couldn't believe the words I'd just spoken. 

"You... Love me?" His voice was weak and quiet. 

"Tch, of course I do," I mumbled into his shoulder. 

He pulled me back into a tight hug and placed soft kisses into my hair. I felt as if I was falling apart in his arms. I didn't want to move. 

"We have so much to catch up on. You need to tell me everything, ok?" His mumbles were quiet and I could tell his eyes were shut as he stroked the back of my head. 

"Yes, I agree. But first we need to-"

Dottore's body tensed and before I could understand what was happening, he shifted quickly till we swapped places and his entire body was covering mine. His eyes were wild and scared but that wasn't what I was focused on. A small groan of pain left his lips as I stared at the sword now sticking through his chest. 

What?

The sword was pulled out. Dottore's body collapsed forward. Onto me. He's on me. He's bleeding. There's a hole in his chest. He's hugging me. His breathing is shallow. 

Why? What's happening? How did this happen? 

My eyes flickered up to the severely injured soldier who now stood above us. The sword he clutched in his hand was dripping with Dottore's blood and he was swaying dangerously as red stained his left abdomen. 

He fell. The sword clattered to the floor. The man stopped moving. 

"Y/N... F-focus, please. Remember the plan? We need to... We need to get back," forced out Dottore who was visibly convulsing as crimson dribbled down his chest. 

It's happening again. Why is it happening again? Why does everyone want to take him away from him?

"Y/N! Please!" With the last of his strength, he shook me lightly.

It might as well have been my chest that were stabbed for in that moment I was just as frozen as the day he shoved me through the portal and left me behind.

No. Don't let it repeat. We have a chance now Y/N. Open the damn portal and save him. 

I was jerked back into reality and immediately sprung into action. My mind remained blank as I forced myself to move. 

The first thing I need to do is use the anti serum. I rifled through my pockets as Dottore coughed blood and panted with agony. Looking away, my hand wrapped around the syringe and I instantly injected the contents into Dottore's neck who was holding onto me for dear life. His arms were wrapped around beneath my arms and his blood was transferring to my suit.

"Good girl. It's nearly over now, love. Please, hurry," his voice broke towards the end.

I almost didn't hear him with the roaring arguments of intrusive thoughts in my head. I merely nodded and threw the portal ring behind us. The view of the clone storage room appeared along with the tiniest glimmer of hope. 

"D-dottore? Can you... Can you walk with my help?" The effort I put in to forcing my tongue to move was enormous. 

"Mhm. Just... Just help me stand," he spoke through gritted teeth. 

His hand was pressed rigidly against his wound, the knuckles on his scarred hand were deathly white. 

The sight of it had my lips trembling and tears flowed from my eyes freely. I helped him up as we trudged through the portal as fast as we could with his injured state. 

It dawned on me. Dottore was dying. He was dying right beside me and we were so close to the clone body that his life was virtually in my hands but something in my gut was adding piles of weight onto my shoulders. 

As we neared the body lying on the floor nearby, Dottore collapsed. 

"No. No no no no. Please, Dottore. Come on, you need to keep your eyes open," I said to him as I worked to pull his clone towards us.

He wasn't responding. Why isn't he talking? 

"Dottore?" I choked out through a full fledged sob.

I fell to my knees beside his body that breathed so shallowly he was almost not breathing at all. 

My hands reached out to check his pulse however his own hand grabbed mine. The heart in my chest pounded so loud I could hear it in my ears.

"Stay with me, please. You just... You just need to transfer your soul to this body Dottore. The anti-serum. It worked. It worked right?" My hands shook as he held them tightly.

"It worked," he nodded, opening his eyes a crack.

"Then- then why... Why haven't you switched to that body? Dottore?"

He shook his head the tiniest bit before exhaling with a grimace. 

My eyes widened at the sight of the pool of blood I now sat in. The blood that had come from his body. The blood that had drained so much from him that his skin was pale and his lips were turning blue. It set my lungs on fire to see his dazzling eyes still stare at me with such a bright spark.

"I can't anymore, Y/N. There's no strength left. These... These past two months took it all out of me," he wheezed out. 

I tried to form words as he reached up to cup my cheek. He finger ran over my lip for what weirdly felt like the last time but I could only watch him with a confused stare. The tears had almost entirely obscured my vision.

"You said you loved me right? Good. That's... That's all I need. You shouldn't have said that to me Y/N because... Because now I know that if I die, you will keep going with a memory of me. I've left my mark on the world through you. Now I have no reason to stick around," he whispered. 

I shook my head at his words. There's no way. There is no fucking way he was saying what I think he was saying. After all of that? I can't let him slip through my fingers. He's right here. 

So why can't I save him? Is this my punishment? Do I deserve this? Is this a way of telling me that I never deserved him so they're taking him away from me?

"Please. Don't do this to me. Don't leave me! I need you, Dottore. Please," I sobbed. "You can't... You can't go. You said that I was stuck with you for eternity. So why are you leaving me?"

I laid my head on his chest and cried. If I thought I'd shed all the tears possible, I was sorely mistaken because I'd never felt such agonising pain in my life. It felt as if someone had stuck a piping hot iron rod right into my heart. 

At the same time, I vaguely recalled the sound of the door to the room bursting open; however, I couldn't bring myself to care about anything else. Someone called my name from behind but my eyes were trained on the tired face before me and my ears were strained to hear the words Dottore was trying to convey.

Despite all this, Dottore only smiled with the energy he had left and whispered one final thing that destroyed whatever life that was left in me.

"I never thought I deserved to be loved in the way you loved me, Y/N. I thought you'd broken me but I think you fixed me. Thank you for fixing me," his voice trailed off quietly as the hand that tenderly stroked my hair went limp.

I was paralysed. His eyes were staring at mine but he wasn't behind them. There was nothing behind them. Glancing over at the clone, that lay virtually three feet away, I felt like my life had just been stepped on and crushed. 

It was over. Finally. It was all over. 

Chapter Text

A second funeral was held for the 4th Fatui Harbinger, Il Dottore. It happened the day after the events in Sumeru however Y/N refused to attend once more. 

News about the tragic end to the mission had spread through the palace like wild fire and whilst everyone wanted to see the affects of the events on Y/N, she was nowhere to be found. 

The last time she was spotted was when the Balladeer had found her drenched in blood, holding onto the Doctor's dead body for dear life. The Harbinger were unsure of what to do however Y/N informed him of the true death of Dottore shortly after. 

She asked to be left alone as she worked to clear out the clone room and erase any lingering traces of the 4th. The Balladeer obliged however she was never seen again.

Later that day, Y/N was reported to have left the palace after taking a stallion from the stables. Strangely enough, as the evening took over, the stallion returned in a fright but no rider was seen accompanying it. 

Many rumours spread about saying Y/N had ended her life in the forests after losing her lover however the Harbingers believed otherwise. 

Particularly the Balladeer and Tartaglia. 

Tartaglia returned to his rooms after hearing the news of Dottore's passing to find a letter and a small package on his doorstep. Immediately, he suspected who the sender might be but he proceeded to open the letter hastily and read the contents.

~~~

Dear Childe,

Before you decide to burn this letter to cinders after having guessed who the sender is, I'd like to make one last request. Please read what I have to say.

Unfortunately, what I would like to tell you cannot be detailed on this single page and I don't have much time left to write it all out anyway. Therefore, I will attempt to summarise. 

I am sorry. I apologize with every bone in my body for the horrible words I so indecently spoke to your face. You were right. Everything you said was entirely true and I was too blinded by rage to see for myself what I'd let myself become. I couldn't grasp the idea that Dottore might not be with us anymore with the way he left me such a new sense of life in me.

I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I'm sorry I was such a rubbish friend. I hope you can give me the benefit of the doubt seeing as I've never really had a friend before. It will never justify my actions but I hope it might explain why I reacted in the way I did.

If I chose to stick around, I would have liked to spend some more time sparring with you and perhaps spend a little more time together so that we could really build a good friendship. Once again, I'm running out of time. Hence, I'll choose to end this letter on a light note. Thank you for all your kind gestures and joyous company. 

I could never expect you to forgive me but I do hope that you might like to give your little brother the small gift I attached with this letter. 

Kind regards, General Y/N L/N.

~~~

Childe worked to unwrap the small package only to find a miniature toy Ruin Guard with a remote control. 

He realised that the letter was written before they'd decided to accept each other's apologies just that morning. 

His heart saddened for her yet he was immensely grateful for the considerate gift she left behind as a way of rebuilding the bridges they'd burned. 

The Balladeer on the other hand couldn't shake the feeling of suspicion towards Y/N. He believed his theories of where she might have gone to be true when he laid eyes on the small square note that awaited him in his office.

~~~

Your help was invaluable. Good luck retrieving the Electro Gnosis, Scaramouche. Your secret is safe if you choose to protect mine. Farewell.

~~~

He laughed grimly at the note before promising himself to seek her out one day and ask how she'd managed to do it

Two days later, a meeting was called by the Tsaritsa, ordering all remaining 10 Harbingers up to her throne room.

She studied the Harbingers intently yet her thoughts were entirely concealed. In her hand was the Silverwing Staff that had sparked the chain reaction of these events. 

"I presume you have all been informed of the recent events regarding Il Dottore. How have you chosen to move forward?" Her voice echoed largely around the room.

"We have held a second funeral for the Doctor and a squad of spies were ordered to search the nation for any signs of General Y/N L/N," replied Arlecchino. 

"A second funeral? I can only imagine the type of face he'd make when he learns that two funerals were held in his honour," muttered the Tsaritsa with an eye roll. 

"We believe that the General has fled the nation, Your Majesty. What do you suppose we should do?" It was Pulcinella who spoke this time.

The archon thought about it deeply before releasing a sigh of frost in front of her.

"Call off the search. Don't bother looking for her at the moment," she decided. 

The royal attendants muttered and whispered in confusion. The Harbingers eyed each other with questions. 

"In no way do I wish to question you orders, Your Highness. But don't you think the General's sudden departure could be considered a sign of betrayal to the Fatui? Should we not work to catch her and discipline her accordingly?" Pantalone was indeed questioning the Tsaritsa's orders. A bold move on his part. 

The Tsaritsa sighed. "There's no point looking for her right now. Just leave them be. They'll be back one day."

Suddenly the room fell silent. Everyone was frozen with the wording of the previously spoken sentence. 

"They?!" Columbina glanced from left to right with visible confusion.

"What do you mean 'leave them be'?" Tartaglia spoke suddenly. 

"Your Majesty... Are you suggesting that-"

"Of course that's what I'm suggesting," she rolled her eyes again. "Did you really think that miserable man would die so easily? Ha! He would rather apologize to Pantalone than allow himself to die."

She laughed at the apparently ridiculous idea that everyone believed Dottore had died. 

Nobody could even begin to understand what was going on. The attendants particularly, were shaken to the core. 

"How is that possible? He had completely bled out. He was definitely dead," muttered Scaramouche.

"How did she do it?" Pierro spoke for the first time. 

Suddenly the room fell into silence once again. If the wise Pierro had believed it to be true, then how could anyone else question his judgement. 

The realisation dawned in everyone's minds. They'd been hoaxed. Even the Harbinger's had fell for it.

Not the Tsaritsa however. She only smiled to herself as she replied: "Well, she is supposed to be a genius."

At that, the Harbingers shook their heads in bewilderment at the sudden revelation. General Y/N had really pulled the wool over their eyes. She had planned this all along. This was the outcome she was hoping to achieve and not a single person (aside from the queen of course) had anticipated such a move.

"That doesn't explain the dead body, Your Majesty. I was there in person to see it. Dottore was definitely dead," countered Scaramouche.

"No. You only saw what she wanted you to see. And surprisingly, you fell right into her trap," finished the Tsaritsa with an amused expression.

The Harbingers were ordered to keep this information hidden and the story that General Y/N L/N had ended her life in the forests was passed around as the true ending to this tragic tale. 

Only the woman pulling the strings, Y/N herself, knew what really went down towards the ending of this story.

Chapter Text

He'd just whispered his last words as I looked over at the clone body nearby. 

It's over. Finally. It's over.

"Y/N?"

Good. Someone's here. 

Turning around slowly, I painted the most shocked and hurting face I could possibly make. The tear stains and the blood would certainly work in my favour. 

Scaramouche was the one standing behind me. Even better. Who knew it would be a Harbinger themselves that would have come to us? I predicted someone from my subordinates would come check for us down here after agents reported back that Dottore was retrieved. In fact I was counting on it. I certainly wasn't expecting to be Scaramouche.

"Is he..." Scaramouche trailed off with an unsure look on his face.

"H-he's dead," I whispered.

Perfect tears rolled down my face in coordinated lines making the scene all too tragic. 

"But- why can't he just change to that body? Wasn't that the plan?" 

I swallowed thickly and stared at my hands that were dripping with Dottore's blood.

"It didn't work. He was too... He was too weak," I let out another choked sob. 

Scaramouche's eyes widened a little bit as he stared at the body so obviously empty. It was more like a used shell now.

"I'm... I'm sorry for your loss," he averted his gaze.

I stared back at the scarred face of the once inhabited body of Dottore. The eye patch he wore still angered me to see, yet he was still just as beautiful with one eye. Luckily, it would all be fixed. Everything went to plan after all. Of course some particular parts weren't accounted for but I genuinely never anticipated that my plan would work to this level.

"Can I be left alone please?" My voice was broken and grieving.

Scaramouche watched me intently before sighing and nodding. It seems he wanted to say more but he was unsure. 

"I think I'm going to clear out this room of... His clones. C-can you call someone to take away this body please?" I made sure my voice depicted pain and gut wrenching hurt. 

"Right. I'll go get someone. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I hesitated for emphasis. "Yes. I want to do this myself."

"As you wish. I'll be back with someone soon," he responded before leaving with the veil of his hat swishing prettily behind him.

Minutes later, a few agents appeared in the doorway and began to remove the bloodied and empty body of Dottore. They left swiftly leaving Scaramouche and I once again alone in the silence.

"Um... Do you want some help carrying the bodies out?" He seemed conflicted on whether or not to offer his aid.

Standing up from my place in the pool of red, I clenched my fists and exhaled quietly. 

"No, thank you," I mumbled quietly. "It's... it's my job as his assistant to complete this final order. This is what he would've wanted."

Scaramouche never replied and simply chose to place a comforting hand on my shoulder before turning to leave.

Once he was out, I glanced behind me through the door to ensure no one was around. I pulled out a tissue from my pocket and wiped down the lingering tears and blood. At the same time, I poked a finger into the clone's body beside me. The one Dottore was meant to transfer to. 

"You can stop pretending now," I said out loud. 

I waited for a couple of seconds before, my favourite red eyes cracked open just the smallest bit to look at me.

I stared back with an unwavering gaze before his hands reached out to grab me hastily and wrap around my waist, dragging me down to his place on the floor. 

I laughed into his chest and felt him smile against my head. He placed a small kiss there and whispered in my ear.

"You little genius."

I chuckled again and pushed back to see his face. Smiling down at him, I helped him sit up and watched him quietly before he spoke again. 

"So it worked, huh?"

I nodded slowly. "It did."

He reached out to cup my cheek however I grabbed his hand and slapped him right across the face. Dottore's new, uninjured face sat in an expression of shock. He lifted a hand to touch the cheek I'd just hit before he glanced at me with amusement and a hint of guilt.

"If you think you can pull something like that again, you bastard, you've got another thing coming. What was that?! That wasn't part of the plan!" I shoved against his shoulder before he sighed and looked me in the eye.

"I couldn't just let him stab you. Besides, it sort of gave us a shortcut and now it makes the story more believable. It worked out in our favour," he shrugged nonchalantly.

I shook my head at him with hurt. "Dottore... You really scared me for a second. Why would you say those things? I thought that... I thought that it wasn't just an act."

Averting my gaze, I bit my lip and fiddled with the orb on my ring.

Dottore gripped my chin and turned me to face him, he ran a finger over my cut and bruised lip before he smiled. 

"Everything I said was true, love. The part where I was dying may not have been but if I was, then those are the words I would say," he whispered to me. "You put on quite a performance yourself, you know? I never knew you could force tears like that."

"What makes you think they weren't real?" I narrowed my eyes at him with a glare. 

His eyes widened before guilt washed over them and he reached over to pull my head into his chest. How I've missed touching him and being close to him. It felt as if I were alive once more and I screamed with joy internally at the fact that it all worked out.

"I missed you so much," I said as tears began to escape once more. 

"Shh. I know, I know. I did too. Not a day went by when I wasn't dreaming of you beside me Y/N," he mumbled into my hair. 

His fingers drew circles at the back of my neck and the gesture reminded me of all the other times he comforted me in the same way. It only made me cry harder. He was finally back with me and the journey was mortifyingly difficult but it was worth it. He's safe now and soon we are going to leave. 

I was eternally grateful he'd followed the plan I left him. His part in it was essential. As I said before, I had many schemes plotted for what I would do after retrieving Dottore. One of which was taking him and I away from the Fatui so that we could live together without the dangerous line of work constantly threatening our lives.

The slip of paper I'd given him on my visit detailed everything he needed to know. 

~~~

This is the plan. One week from now, me and my reinforcements will come and break into the facility to retrieve you. We'll destroy everything along the way but none of that is important to your part of the plan. 

You are going to die, Dottore. That's your role. Once I find you, I will inject an antiserum into you that will reverse the properties of the serum they have been using on you. I deduced that it was the thing blocking off the connection between you and your clones so once I fix it, you will need to begin the process of switching to the clone I prepared for you in your so called 'storage room'. 

The antiserum will cause the heart of the body you are currently inhabiting to stop as if it died via heart attack. This will be the cause for your death and once you switch to the new body, you will not move an inch or show any signs of inhabiting it till I signal to you that it's ok to move. 

We need to put on a performance, Dottore. They need to believe that you died through and through. Make it dramatic and tragic. Make it so memorable that if someone were to come down to see the show - and I assure you, they will - they'll have no choice but to believe that the mission ended in catastrophe.

Once you've successfully transferred to the new body, we will leave. We are leaving the palace, the Fatui, Snezhnaya entirely. I hope that's ok with you. I'll explain everything later. 

At the moment, make sure you save all your strength, eat well, and sleep long hours. If this is to work, we need to trick the entire palace. So let's act like our lives depend on it Dottore. Because, at this point, they really do. I look forward to the day we reunite. 

~~~

So the plan was for Dottore's heart to stop due to the antiserum however he decided to be reckless and get stabbed through the chest. He was right, of course. This was much more believable and would certainly ensure that his death was considered the truth.

It didn't hurt any less. Dottore trailed off the path of the plan and it scared the living daylight out of me. I don't know what I would have done if he really hadn't made it. The antiserum I made specifically had properties inside it that would detach all of Dottore's connections to the body he was inhabiting so technically it would have made it even easier for him to switch to another body but the tears I shed were real.

I cried for all of the nights that I slept alone and reminded myself of the path I'd taken that had led to this. It was my fault if you think about it. It all started after we argued in that alleyway. It was me who brought this entire situation upon us so of course, it was up to me to put it right. 

And now, Dottore and I would leave this place before anyone would realise that he was alive.

I purposefully told Scaramouche that I wanted to clear out the room of clones so that he would think I binned all of Dottore's bodies in here. That way, they wouldn't notice that the one that was holding me tightly at the moment was missing. 

There was still a few more details I needed to work through but in the present time, I couldn't bring myself to leave his arms. I clutched him ever so tightly and my throat constricted at the familiar scent of lemon and mint on him. I shut my eyes tightly and held onto him for dear life. 

"So you love me, huh?" 

"You're still not over that?" I rolled my eyes. 

"Of course I'm not over it. It doesn't make any sense and I don't think I deserve it after everything we've been through," he sighed. 

"I'll take it back if you keep saying that," I warned with narrow eyes.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry," he chuckled. 

"You have a shit ton of grovelling and begging for forgiveness to do for ditching me like that Dottore. I simply cannot wait," I smirked evilly.

Dottore's eyes took on a curious gaze as he watched me with his head cocked to the side.

"What is it?" I frowned at the strange expression on his face.

"You seem... Different," he decided with a proud smile.

"Different? How?"

"I can see it in your eyes and the strength in your arms. You're stronger and colder and smarter. It looks beautiful on you," he whispered as he brushed a stray hair behind my ear.

My stomach did a back flip just as it used to whenever he said things like that. That ever so heated gaze he would watch me with never failed to make my heart beat a million miles an hour.

Dottore leaned down and pressed his lips gently to mine. The feeling of kissing him was a feeling I'd forgotten and the glowing light in my heart would blind an ordinary person. He kissed me deeply. Every touch of his lips was as if he were telling me tiny secrets and sweet nothings. I smiled against his lips to which he pulled back to see. His eyes took on a tender look as he ran a thumb over my cheek. 

"As much as I want to stay here Dottore, we still have to get out of here. Also, I'm drenched in your blood and its grossing me out so let's get moving, yeah?" 

He laughed. It was an ethereal melody that I reached out and pocketed before it could be forgotten. Dottore nodded before lifting me off of him, allowing me to dust off my clothes and place my hands on my hips as I surveyed the many bodies I'd have to chuck out.

I could feel Dottore's eyes running up and down my body to which I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Can you wear that all the time please?" His eyes were shameless in the way they were checking me out.

"Oh sure. With the rips and blood and a bit of brain juice on it too? I think it adds nicely to the look," I said sarcastically. 

"Come to think of it, what on earth did you do down there? And your vision... I wasn't expecting you to use it," he studied the purple ornament hanging on my waist.

"Ah, we have a LOT to catch up on. All in due time," I shrugged. "For now, I'll get working to throw out the clones. You still need time to adjust to the new body right? Just go hide somewhere whilst I sort everything out. If anyone were to enter, we can't have you being discovered."

He nodded as I helped him up to stand. We walked till we reached a small bookshelf. Dottore pulled back a book and a doorway appeared behind the shelves, allowing him to hide out in here for the time being. 

As I turned to leave, he pulled me back by the waist and held my face in his hands.

"We're free now, Y/N. Let's live," he said to me with determination.

I nodded at him with the same feeling. "Yes. Let's."

As we parted temporarily, I got to work unplugging the various cases housing the clones. One by one, I dragged each body out and threw a blackhole marble onto each one, allowing them to disappear into nonexistence. Handy things, these marbles were. 

It hurt a little to get rid of the uncompleted bodies of Dottore but I knew it was necessary. We needed to erase any traces of him and get out of here soon. I knew nobody would clock on that we'd hoaxed them so soon but Scaramouche might have some suspicions. Dottore and I's performance was perfectly executed therefore I think it was safe to say they wouldn't notice until a few days had passed. 

Once all the bodies were disposed of, I pulled the bag of notes and essential ingredients I'd packed much earlier and left it beside the book shelf to be collected later once we made our departure. 

Now, a few more steps to go before Dottore and I could live our lives together in peace. My body was aching and stinging with various cuts but the single thought that Dottore and I would be living in a house together like real people had me forgetting any lingering pain. Already, ideas and plans for the future settled into my exhausted mind. All the things we would do once we were out of here excited me beyond words. 

I wriggled out of the black bodysuit and wiped any blood off my body quickly with the bowl of warm water and the cloth I'd prepared. In the chess room, I made sure to hide a palace maid uniform that I would switch into to move around the palace inconspicuously as I worked to tie up any loose ends of my plan.

There was no time to clean up the cuts on my body so I persevered through the pain and clenched my jaw when any fabric skittered across the sensitive skin. It will be over soon. We'll be out of here. It's close. I can feel it.

And I could. I could really feel it. For the first time in my twenty three years, not a single drop of bad feeling was left within me. It was almost as if Fate had told me herself that our future was promised to work out entirely. I'd never felt so light and weightless in my life. All the burdens of the past two months fell off my shoulders just like that. 

I can breathe. Finally.

Without letting a single second go to waste, I snatched the few things I'd prepared before exiting the lab quickly. Nobody appeared to be around here despite the news that Dottore had passed away but the moment I turned the corner, I witnessed a huge commotion. Crowds of agents and royal attendants and maids all gathered in the main landing of the first floor where hours ago I ordered an army to follow my lead.

As I weaved through the crowds in my disguise, I caught the sound of my name and Dottore's be uttered on many people's lips. A small smirk creeped onto my lips at the reaction I'd sparked. 

"The fourth is dead?! After everything General Y/N did to get him back... I wonder how she's coping," whispered one person.

"It's been two months. Of course he was dead. That General wasted so much time sending out troops to search for the Harbinger," tutted someone else.

The various reactions to the news were entertaining to hear but I couldn't stick around for long. 

I forced my legs forward, taking me to the floor dedicated to the Harbinger's rooms. My destination this time wasn't Dottore's however. I passed by his room quickly, not wanting to get distracted and only slowed to a stop once I stood in front of a particular ginger Harbinger's room.

I knew we had 'made up' this morning but I still wanted to leave this for Childe. He deserved a much better gesture of apology but this was the best I could do at the moment. The letter and small package I'd hidden beneath my skirts was left on his doorstep. I moved away from the scene immediately, not wanting to be caught lingering in front of his room.

On the way back, I couldn't help slowing as I neared Dottore's room once more. My hand that wasn't in control of itself, reached out and pushed the door open for me. Getting inside, I closed the door behind me and leaned on it as I ran my gaze over the room I'd spent months in.

Memories played themselves out like scenes caught on tape. It was so vivid, I almost thought it was real. The sight of Dottore and I laying side by side on the mattress after one of my night terrors; the time we'd stood out on the balcony on a snowy day to laugh about how we believed the weather reflected the Tsaritsa's mood; the time I let Dottore brush my hair on the vanity over there. 

I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply. Never did I once believe that I'd carry such beautiful moments in my head and heart. For the majority of my life, meeting someone like Dottore was never part of my agenda. I sighed before switching out of the maid outfit and into my normal Fatui attire. 

Before leaving, I tidied the sheets and left the room as if it were never used. I knew if I turned back to see the remnants of our lives still clinging to the messy wardrobe where we hung our clothes or the bedside where the book we would read together at night was, I'd never be able to leave. And so I left without another glance. We would have a chance to experience better moments in the near future. 

I kept to the shadows and waited for people to pass by as I snuck through corridors and up sets of stairs. I'm sure Dottore would be happy to know that I now had the stamina and strength to climb up the many staircases without any breaks. The memory of our first time climbing them together flashed like a thunder bolt behind my eyes. Beneath the mask, I smiled at the time when we had only just met and had yet to understand what we meant to each other.

Once I reached the third floor, I ran towards none other than Scaramouche's office. It took less than a second to slip in, leave a small note on his desk and slip out. 

Everything I needed to do up here was done. I pulled out a portal ring from the pocket in my jacket and threw it in front of me. This was the short distance one as I only needed to head to the stables. 

Now was my time to finish this. Y/N L/N will never be seen again. 

Stepping through the portal, I thanked the stars that I was in the right place. The smell of horses and hay wafted around me. Not a very pleasant smell but if I wanted people to believe that something had befallen me, I needed to make a show of escaping on a horse to spark some rumours and make sure that they knew I'd left the palace. 

Passing by the many tended horses, I stopped in my tracks at the sight of a familiar chocolate brown stallion.

"Bruno!" Upon hearing my whisper shout, his head turned in my direction. 

He neighed and stuck his head out as he watched my approach. I stroked his mane and opened the small gate for him to leave his little room. Hastily, I attached the saddle to his back as he gratefully munched on the apple I'd picked up from the front of the stables. 

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

Without giving the stable boy at the entrance a single ounce of my attention, I jumped up onto the stool and slung my leg over the saddle. With a harsh tug of the reins, Bruno bolted out of the stables accordingly, with me on his back.

"Oi get back here!!" The stable boy attempted to run after us but stopped short as we exited the palace grounds in a flurry through the howling winds and falling snow.

I recalled the memory of the day Dottore and I had ridden side by side. I never did ask him what it was that he saw when the Scarlett Nightmare had bitten him, but that conversation was for another day. The feeling of freedom overtook my body. 

The cold, biting winds refreshed my skin as I rode deeper and deeper into the forest I loved so much the first time we'd gone through here. Once I believed I was deep enough, I motioned with the reins for Bruno to slow down.

I jumped off the saddle with a little stumble, hissing at the pain it caused me in the ribs. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to worry about any injuries as I wrapped my arm around Bruno's neck lovingly.

He neighed and tried to bite at my hair to which I laughed at before I exhaled and took a step back.

"Thank you, Bruno. You have served me like the mighty stallion you are. May your future journeys and adventures be rewarding for your courageous behaviour," I said with a smile.

Talking to a horse. Really Y/N? Ah, well, people already think I'm insane. 

Turning my back to him, the horse watched me as I pulled out another portal ring and threw it in front of me. At the sound of the explosion of the ring, Bruno freaked out, just as I had planned, and he bolted in the opposite direction. He would return to the palace alone, making everyone believe that the mysterious rider who'd stolen a horse was none other than General Y/N L/N. Maybe they'll come up with some ridiculous rumour as to what happened to me but all they needed to believe was that I was gone.

I stepped through the portal, and ended up back in Dottore's lab. I raced to reach the bookcase and pulled open the hidden door behind.

Dottore was sitting in an armchair reading a book with a bored expression. Upon seeing me in the doorway, his eyes lit up with joy. The scene made my heart flutter.

"Your back! Have you done everything you needed to do?" 

"Yes. It's all done. We are ready to leave now. Do you have the strength to walk?" I joined him at his side and helped him up.

"I'll be alright. Do you… do you mind if I take a quick look around before we go?" He averted his gaze with a small blush on his cheeks.

I grinned. "I could never let you leave this place without having said a proper goodbye."

He smiled gratefully at me as we trudged out of the small secret room, his arm over my shoulder and mine wrapped around his waist for support.

I picked up the bag with our things in it and threw it over my shoulder as we headed towards the door that led us to the main lab. Once we reached it, Dottore came to an abrupt stop.

He sighed and ran his gaze over the place he knew so well as his home.

"This room has been my workplace for years. So much was achieved in here," he laughed.

I gripped his hand that rested on my shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. His gaze dropped down as he smiled to himself.

I ran my own eyes over the place because I too had made many progressions in here. I felt myself choke up a little bit at the sight of the blueish lab that we spent hours in together.

"That's where we first met properly and you interrogated me whilst I was tied to the chair," I chuckled as I pointed to the empty space where we sat opposite each other once upon a time.

He grimaced a little before squeezing my hand back.

"Over there is the table where we successfully created the Field Tiller core," he pointed at a messy desk covered in tools and papers.

"Also where I found out I was a Khaenrian descendant and proceeded to spiral into madness," I winced with a small chuckle.

Dottore laughed and clutched me closer to his side.

"Man, I'm going to miss this place. As much as I resent the people here, this lab was the only thing that kept me going. In fact I wouldn't even be alive, if it weren't for the things I'd done in this room," he explained.

"You know I have my own lab where we are going too right?" 

He looked at me in surprise. "Really? Well that's great, I suppose. It's a shame it won't have all the advanced technology we have in here."

"That's ok, we can always refurbish and upgrade the stuff I have in there," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Uh, Y/N, you know this stuff costs millions of mora right?" He glanced at me skeptically.

"Oh, did I never mention that I'm quite wealthy?" I frowned as I looked up at him with my question.

His brows shot up in surprise. "You are?"

"Well, yes. I sold many of my inventions such as medicinal treatments and dangerous poisons. Not to mention, working as a spy. Gets you a good sum of money, not gonna lie," I responded.

"I feel like I hardly know you at all now. Is there anything else you want to tell me about yourself that I don't already know?" He laughed with a proud look on his face.

"We'll have more than enough time to catch up on everything when we leave here. Are you ready to go?" I glanced up at him nervously, worried he might change his mind.

"Of course. I've been ready for a long time, I think," he said seriously.

My nerves fell away instantly at the sure expression on his face. 

Picking up the final long distance portal ring, I exhaled happily before chucking it in front of us and allowing it to storm away before it showed a house on the other side. 

We looked at each once more before nodding and walking through with our breaths held. Upon coming out on the other side, the portal warped to a close and we turned to face our new home.

The house I once inhabited when I lived as a spy in Liyue was sitting vacant in front of us. It was a small house with two floors and was completely alone beside a river. The reason I'd chosen it was for its quiet and solitary atmosphere. It was hidden deep within the mountains of Liyue and had a wonderful view of Mt. Aocang. For me, it was the definition of home. Beneath it was a basement that housed my lab. Even as I worked as a spy, I couldn't depart with my love for experimenting.

"Welcome home," I said as we neared the door.

"Is this your house?" Dottore glanced around at the sunlit scenery around us.

"Yep. I lived here for quite some time when I worked for the Ministry of Civil Affairs in Liyue. It has everything we need. The lab I promised you is in the basement," I smiled.

He grinned back at me with excitement as I pushed through the door and helped him onto the leather couch in the living room.

"Do you… Like it?" I was a little anxious at his reaction. 

"Don't look so nervous, Y/N. Of course I like it. We can do anything we want here and no one's gonna bother us ever again. It's perfect. It really is perfect," he said, setting his sights on me.

I slumped beside him on the couch, dumping the bag onto the floor. My head was leaned onto his shoulder as I shut my eyes for a moment.

"Well that was exhausting," I mumbled.

"You're really hurt from the fight, aren't you?" His voice was nervous and worried.

"Not really. Cracked rib, bruising, cut here and there. It's fine, really. It's nothing in comparison to what you had to experience," I said, slipping my hand into his.

He kissed my forehead and ran a thumb over the hand he held. 

"I think we both need some sleep, don't you?" 

"Ughh. I can't be bothered to walk upstairs," I grumbled with my eyes still shut.

Dottore shifted until he was laying down on the coach with me tucked into his side. His hand was wrapped around my shoulder as he ran a hand up and down my spine.

"Sleep, Y/N. You earned it," he whispered.

I exhaled contently and was already floating on light air as sleep took over my mind.

The smell of lemon from Dottore mixed with the sound of birds tweeting in the distance as well as the warm orange light bathing the room whilst the sun set was heavenly. Dottore was right. 

It really is perfect.

3 months later.

"Y/N… Get up, already. I can't feel my arm," I heard Dottore grumble.

"No. Let me sleep," I mumbled into his chest.

He sighed. The sound of his heartbeat against my ear every morning was something I'd gotten used to but it never ceased to make me immensely satisfied. My eyes were struggling to remain closed with the way the room was lit up with the morning sunlight.

I rolled off Dottore's arm and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling.

"Nevermind, come back here," said Dottore as he pulled me over to him till I was on my side and facing him.

His hand slipped beneath my shirt and ran over the skin of my back and stomach. 

"Good morning," I smirked

He narrowed his eyes at me before rolling them and chuckling quietly.

"I can't never get used to this," he muttered quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, just… Everything. We live in a house together just like normal couples do. We have a lab where we can still pursue our careers and we can do it together at the same time. We even have a cat! Not my idea, but Luna is tolerable. It's crazy. How is this even real?" He laughed to himself and turned his gaze back to mine.

I grinned happily at his bewilderment to how things turned out.

"It's strange, isn't it? I never thought I'd ever be in a situation like this. Having a partner was just such a strange concept to me. But here we are, I suppose," I shrugged with a chuckle.

Dottore laughed the laugh I could never get enough of as he pulled me into a hug and played with my hair.

"I love you," he whispered.

"As do I," I whispered back.

"No, you don't," he joked.

"I'll stop loving you if you want me to," I suggested.

"We both know that won't be possible," he said smugly.

"Shut up," I said, pulling out of the hug to kiss him.

He kissed me back happily before I broke it off abruptly.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too."

We stared at each other, waiting for the other to get out first.

"Go on, then," we said at the same time.

Narrowing our eyes at each other, we glared daggers.

"If I recall correctly, it's your turn to make breakfast Y/N," said Dottore.

"If I recall correctly, you said you would make breakfast for the rest of the week as a way of apologising for setting fire to the lab," I frowned.

I was still salty about that. The mess was catastrophic.

Dottore averted his gaze guiltily before sighing and dragging himself out of bed. I loved that we shared a room and lived in the same house and ate the same home cooked food and took walks past the river every day together. I was no longer doing life. I was living it.

I never knew that this was the way it was supposed to be. For so long, the world I saw was grey and dull and only my experiments would spark the smallest colour in my vision. Now, I watched in awe as the days passed with colour so vivid and moments so special that I could write books upon books of all the new feelings I felt after experiencing this. 

I soon joined Dottore downstairs after we'd washed up and agreed to work together to make breakfast. 

Luna, our little black cat that we'd chosen to take in after she wandered around our house frequently, rubbed herself between our legs as we cooked. It was adorable watching Dottore trying to make friends with her when she first started living with us. Luna took a liking to him immediately and one day, upon coming back from retrieving some resources, I found Luna sat in his lap as he napped on the couch. It was the single most adorable thing I'd ever seen. 

After we'd munched on breakfast at the dining table, we lounged on the couch in the heat of the day. Switching from living in a snowy Snezhnaya to a relatively sunny Liyue was surprisingly hard to adjust to. Today, on this hot summer's day we played a game of chess just like the old days.

"Quite nostalgic, isn't it?" Dottore looked up from the board after making his move. 

"Mhm," I responded, distracted by the choice of moves I could make.

A brief period of silence.

"Are you happy, Y/N?" 

My eyes flickered up in surprise at the strange question. The question wasn't asked in a concerned way, but more of in a curious way. His eyes were gentle and a small smile touched his pretty lips.

"Is that even a question? I've never been so happy in my life, Dottore," I said, taking his hand from across the coffee table.

His expression turned smug and his eyes danced with desire as he rounded the table and joined me on my couch. His hands found their way into my hair and his lips touched mine. 

His tongue slipped past my lips and stroked mine. A groan left his throat as he pulled me down till I was laying on my back, him on top of me.

His hands travelled over my skin, leaving a trail of blushes and warmth behind. His lips parted mine and travelled along my jaw, down my throat. My own hands slipped beneath his shirt and touched the lines of his muscles as he pulled the shirt off. 

My eyes travelled up and down his bare skin, that still somehow remained scarred. I'd asked him about it earlier and he told me that sometimes, in the process of switching bodies, the traces of his scars would transfer with his soul because they were significant parts of his memories. I didn't quite understand it but I also didn't mind that they transferred. I liked to think his scars were a part of him that signified particular parts of his life. They made him even more beautiful in my eyes. 

"If you keep looking at me like that, I won't be able to hold back, you know?" His eyes were hooded and watching me with burning desire. His chest heaved up and down. 

"Then don't," I shrugged with a challenging smile.

Luna decided to excuse herself from the room after that.

~~~

Our days were spent quietly and peacefully and never once were we pursued by the Fatui. I knew by now that they likely would have worked it out and it was strange to me that they hadn't searched for us at all but I didn't care to jinx it by thinking about it too much. 

After coming home one day from tending to the vegetables in our garden, I stopped in the doorway of our home.

My eyes glanced over at the two Fatui masks we'd perched up on the wall like a piece of decoration. A small smile rose on my lips at the days we spent cooped up in that palace, experimenting, researching, learning. Despite how hard it was to live as normal people in there, we definitely made memories and experienced all sorts of new feelings. It was an important part of our journey.

"Y/N! Come quick, Luna's found a friend," yelled Dottore from outside.

I laughed. "Coming!"

My eyes latched onto the box containing the vision I once used to eliminate those people in Sumeru. I turned my back to it as a way of putting all of it behind me.

It's over now. It was a rollercoaster. It was wild. But everything worked itself out in the end. 

Turning around to see Dottore crouched beside Luna and another kitty, I smiled with a sense of wholeness. The sun shone over them and it played out like a scene from a fairy tale.

Thank you for fixing me, Dottore.