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Chapter Text

People always seem to expect a grand story behind the friendship of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Something out of a fairy tale due to how unlikely their pairing seems. Probably because Lan Wangji has a tendency to keep most people away from himself, but the truth is much less complex than that. Wei Ying is merely persistent. Still, at this point Lan Wangji is incredibly grateful for that. He’s glad that Wei Ying hadn’t given up on him.

They’d met in a lecture their first year of university. Lan Wangji had first seen Wei Wuxian on a rainy day, when he had been delayed by a massive crowd on his way to class. He had elected to slip into the back to avoid causing a stir. Two seats down from him sat one of the most beautiful men he’d ever seen. Bright sparkling eyes and an ever-present smile. He introduced himself with a doodle on a ripped piece of paper with a weirdly elaborate doodle of a dragon in a lotus pond. Wangji suspected he had been working on that drawing before writing the note and left it there when he ripped the piece out of his notebook.

Now normal people would say “and the rest is history,” but in reality, Lan Wangji despised him for the first few weeks they knew each other. Wei Wuxian disagreed with him on everything, almost on principle. He was frustrating, unruly, and wild. Truly the type of person his uncle had warned him about when he sent him off to university.

But Wei Wuxian proved to be far more than that. He has a mind for mathematics like no other and can ramble technicalities of the field to a degree that even stumps Lan Wangji himself. And not to mention his highly respected abilities in his majors (two!) and beyond them.

Eventually, he won Lan Wangji’s begrudgingly given respect. And somehow, Lan Wangji had earned his from the first. Well enough for personal names, the names their mothers had given them and fate had taken away. That story is slow, but steady. A story that Wei Ying is far more likely to punctuate with anecdotes than he. But one day Lan Wangji realized that he wasn’t merely tolerating Wei Wuxian’s presence, but craving it.

And from then, for Lan Wangji, it was history.

“I just love seeing all the cute underclassmen, they’re so small and innocent!” Wei Ying stretches his long limbs as they walk around the campus. Lan Wangji shakes his head. Wei Ying’s endearing dramatics are a common sight when he’s in a good mood.

“The majority of them are only three years younger at most,” Wangji reminds him. Wei Ying scoffs at that.

“First years? They’re babies. Innocent,” he argues. “They haven’t truly seen the world and its cruelty until they down coffee mixed with energy drinks during finals week.”

Wangji winces at that. He had been terrified of Wei Ying going into cardiac arrest last year when Wei Ying had elected to drink four espresso shots mixed with an energy drink nightly. So much so that he’d been impulsive and hidden all of Wei Ying’s caffeine supply the following week. And enlisted his sister’s help. And proceeded to drag him away from coffee shops.

Seeing Wei Ying whine and pout was terrible for his heart. Partially because Wei Ying is adorable and partially because Lan Wangji would normally rather rip his own organs out than deny Wei Ying anything. But he had stayed strong precisely because he cares about Wei Ying’s health.

So he changes the subject.

“Irrelevant. You were complaining about the schedule?”

“Ugh. I have this super late Wednesday class,” Wei Ying groans. Distraction effective. But Lan Wangji perks up at that time.

That’s great, actually. It gives him an excuse to see Wei Ying. He loves those.

“I can drop you off and pick you up on those days.”

“No, no. You’re already so busy,” Wei Ying argues. “Don’t bother with that!”

“Let me make time for you.” Lan Wangji’s eyes bore into Wei Ying’s. “Think of it as a favor to me, then. What if it rains? Or when it snows?”

“I can take care of myself,” Wei Ying mumbles, deflated.

“With what? An umbrella? Are you trying to catch a cold?”

“You’re so snippy,” Wei Ying grumbles. “But if you’re really okay with it…”

“It’s on my way,” Lan Wangji assures him.

“Oh. Then I’ll be burdening you!”

“You’re not a burden,” Lan Wangji sighs. How often does he need to tell this lovable fool that?

It’s a problem, actually. Wei Ying asks for things jokingly all the time.

“Ahhh I wish someone would do this for me!”

“Hey Lan Zhan, wanna wash my hair? No, put that down, I’m kidding!”

“Would you bring me balloons, Lan Zhan?”

“Hahah! Yeah, Lan Zhan, wanna buy me a car?”

But he never actually means it. Lan Wangji has thought it might be his way of teasing people at first. But he knows by now that getting Wei Ying to accept gifts is pulling teeth. It frustrates him to no end.

There has to be a way to make Wei Wuxian see that he’s loved. To make him accept that their love for him— his love for him—exists.

Lan Wangji’s answer comes to him like a divine sign on a Friday night two weeks later.

Wei Ying, early into their acquaintance, demanded Lan Wangji watch movies with him weekly. At the time, Wangji had balked, refusing. Wei Ying had steadfastly ensured it happened anyway. Be it by hacking his phone, blasting the movie via speaker, or projecting it into his room. Wei Ying almost got arrested for that last one.

Eventually Wangji had given up and gone to Wei Ying’s dorm to spare himself the embarrassment. And to his own horror, found that he had fun.

So now it’s a ritual of theirs, a comfortable routine that he pushes everything aside for. No week during the school year is allowed to go without a movie night, barring finals. They change the night by the year, but Friday had worked best for the past two years.

“I’m thinking of a classic, tonight,” Wei Ying muses.

“How about The Princess Bride? If that’s… um… okay with you?” Wen Ning, a timid but kind student a year younger than them who Wei Ying had “adopted” (a phrase his much fiercer elder sister, the indomitable Wen Qing, loudly disapproved of and quietly encouraged) on sight, suggests with a glance at Wangji. Wangji inclines his head at the suggestion, waiting for Wei Ying’s response. Wen Ning is Wei Ying’s roommate this year, and is occasionally invited to movie nights. (Wangji doesn’t mind guests at their weekly movie nights. Nie Huisang, Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and his own brother have all dropped in for a movie night before. He is irrationally jealous that Wen Ning lives with Wei Wuxian, but he’s also aware that he’s so smitten with his best friend that if they lived together platonically he may combust. He suspects that Wen Ning can sense it. Both his jealousy and his feelings for Wei Ying.)

“Aha! A classic indeed! Do you like The Princess Bride, Lan Zhan?”

“I’ve never seen it,” Wangji confesses.

Wei Ying’s jaw drops and so does Wangji’s stomach. Oh no. Did he just embarrass himself somehow? But Wei Ying just beams at him.

“Okay, that means we need to see it now,” Wei Ying enthuses. “We get to expose you to one of the greatest cinematic masterpieces! This is a cultural icon! We get your first!”

Lan Wangji resolutely does not blush at that. Not at all.

“H- he’s right, though,” Wen Ning tells him. “This is a movie worth breaking out the good snacks for.”

The good snacks, as Wen Ning is referring to, is anything beyond the sad little bowl of popcorn that neither of them really touch during movies anyway. Wen Ning does occasionally. Sometimes it just means takeout.

“You, Wen Ning, are a friggin genius. Yes, The Princess Bride deserves to be watched with top-tier snacks. Let’s go raid the kitchen!”

The two roommates leap to their feet and Wangji follows them as they rush to their kitchen, his guest slippers padding on the floor. They’re specifically for him, with pristine blue rabbits that have yellow ribbons, and they allow him to fantasize, for a moment, that he and Wei Ying do live together. In holy matrimony. With two rabbits and a child. (He is, as Huisang had bemoaned the one time he told his love problems to him, a complete and utter sap. This title does not bother him in the slightest. Fortunately for Wangji, Huisang had also been completely inebriated when he had said this and didn’t remember a second of their conversation the next day.)

Wei Ying produces popcorn that’s covered in a bright, eye-searing red powder. Wangji dutifully fills a jug with water. Neither Wei Ying nor Wen Ning would remember to bring it with them.

“That looks absolutely lethal,” Wen Ning snickers at Wei Ying’s creation. Lan Wangji sighs. He’d tried that popcorn once, foolishly thinking that somehow Wei Ying’s excited face would give him the strength that popcorn would take. It did not. It very much did not.

“It is,” he assures the younger student. Wei Ying doesn’t acknowledge their commentary.

“Wait! While we’re talking snacks. Lan Zhan!”

“Yes?”

“I bought all this stuff for our next movie night, I can’t believe I almost forgot about it!” Wei Ying pushes aside a bunch of bowls in the cabinet to reveal a hidden stash of green tea flavored snacks. It has everything. Wangji spots chocolates, cookies, even a bag of what he thinks are potato chips.

“Wen Ning also likes green tea flavor, the cute traditional sweetheart he is,” Wei Ying whispers conspiratorially. “So does Qing jie! So I hid it here.”

“Wait, seriously?” Wen Ning blinks. “You don’t even like green tea flavor. When did you buy this much?”

“I’ll never tell,” Wei Ying singsongs. “Do you like it Lan Zhan?”

Like every time he finds Wei Ying putting a little piece of him in his home, Wangji loves it. His chest burns with how much he loves it. Wei Ying loudly proclaims affection to everyone, but it’s when he makes space for Wangji in his life and space that Wangji knows that he is important to him. And maybe that doesn’t mean the same thing that Wangji feels for him, but it is a kind of love.

“Thank you,” is what he elects to say instead.

“I’m glad you like it,” Wei Ying smiles softly. It’s a gentler, more vulnerable smile. It’s like a twinkling star, or a gently rising sun. Lan Wangji wants to kiss that smile.

He does no such thing.

“Okay, movie time,” Wei Ying cheers. “This is gonna be great!”

They settle into Wei Ying’s black couch that can be described by no better word than “squishy” and Wei Ying grabs the remote. He’s so excited that he’s practically vibrating.

“Okay! Everyone ready?”

Wei Ying is so cute that Wangji’s chest physically hurts.

They start the movie and Wangji withholds his judgements. But he has to appreciate the “story within a story” element.

As he watches the girl order around the servant, he notices a certain look on his face. One that would befit such a tale. Wangji is familiar with such feelings. That farm boy is head over heels for her.

Wen Ning has to excuse himself to take a call from his sister, so they pause the movie.

“Like it so far?” Wei Ying asks, carding his fingers in Wangji’s hair. He leans into the touch.

“I’ll withhold judgment on the movie as a whole. It’s an odd pastime, though, ordering someone around.”

Wei Ying throws his head back and laughs.

“Really, but would you do that for me if I ordered you around? Book boy, fetch me a snack!”

Lan Wangji knows Wei Ying doesn’t actually mean that. Or realize what he’s implying. Still, he entertains the thought of standing up to get him one because he’d asked for it. But Wei Ying just waggles his bright red fingers at him with a grin.

“Don’t worry, I’m all set in that area.”

Wen Ning returns with a quiet apology and they resume the movie. But as Wangji watches the characters a slightly irrational idea begins to form in his mind.

A silent confession, underlying every repeated phrase.

Buttercup clearly understands it. So why wouldn’t someone as brilliant and talented as Wei Ying?

Chapter Text

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon when Wei Wuxian drags himself out of bed. He’d spent all of yesterday plowing through assignments. His teachers are absolutely brutal.

“Ahaha! Hey Lan Zhan! Good morning!”

Lan Zhan glances at his watch. It’s a custom one that Wei Wuxian had bought for his birthday last year. He very pointedly examines it. Drama king.

“Afternoon,” he amends. “Ugh, I was working for hours yesterday! I so want a coffee!”

Lan Zhan’s eyes light up.

“As you wish,” he says, turning sharply on his heel and into the nearest coffee shop. Wei Wuxian blinks. What?

Lan Zhan reappears with a coffee cup in hand. It’s one of the iced sugar concoctions that he prefers a thousand times to plain, bitter coffee. (Listen, when you’re working, it’s one thing. But as a preference? Nah.) He’s looking at it like it pains him to have to see it. It probably does, knowing Lan Zhan. But he tolerates it for Wei Wuxian. What a darling.

“No way,” Wei Wuxian chokes. “Did I, like, forget my own birthday or something? Lan Zhan, you’re an angel!”

Lan Zhan looks away at that, ears pink. It’s actually kind of cute, that he blushes there.

“Hey. That means you need to come out and let me treat you to coffee,” Wei Wuxian says, nudging his friend.

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan says with an air that implies he’ll be stealing the check or sliding the cashier his card before Wei Wuxian can. Ugh.

“You shouldn’t get to make something so servile sound so smug! That’s illegal!”

Lan Zhan smirks. (It’s the tiniest thing, and Wei Wuxian can only recognize it because of the radiating smugness of that tilted eyebrow.)

“As you wish.”

Damn it.

Wei Wuxian can’t help it. He laughs.

“Aiyah! And nobody believes me when I tell them that you’re funny. I guess you liked it then? Wen Ning will be so excited to hear that.”

Wen Ning probably really will. His shy roommate is oddly extra-shy around Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian’s guess is that A-Ning probably intimidated because Lan Zhan looks so cold. Maybe not cold as much as intense?

Wei Wuxian can see past it so he figures that with enough exposure Wen Ning will too, eventually. Lan Zhan’s kind and funny, and not enough people appreciate that. And Wen Ning is a kind soul as well, with an unexpected efficient streak that Lan Zhan would appreciate. So he hopes they’ll befriend each other outside of being friends with him.

He takes a sip of the drink Lan Zhan gifted him and gasps with delight.

“Lan Zhan! It’s perfect!”

He thinks the whole joke will let up after that. He had noticed the repeated phrase the other day. They meet up between their classes on Monday because Lan Zhan likes to work on his long term assignments then and Wei Wuxian loves playing study buddy to him. (What? So few of his friends can keep up with him, and Lan Zhan entertains his rambling tangents… at least for a little while.)

On their way to the library, he spots a few kids around a pen with fluffy brown rabbits.

“Lan Zhan! Look!” Wei Wuxian grabs his best friend’s arm. “Bunnies!”

Wei Wuxian knows for a fact that Lan Zhan loves bunnies. It’s excellent for picking out gifts. Wei Wuxian likes the fluffy creatures mainly because Lan Zhan does, but he always appreciates a cute pile of fluff in his lap. (Excluding, of course, the demonic beasts that he won’t name.)

Lan Zhan looks over to where Wei Wuxian is pointing and smiles slightly. It’s the tiniest thing, but it’s there. Ahaha, what if he had a few? Lan Zhan would probably constantly be smiling. All Wei Wuxian would need to do is hand him a rabbit.

“Mm, wouldn’t that be cute? I want bunnies,” Wei Wuxian absently comments, watching the rabbits in the pen bask in sunlight. They’d be so much fun to pet with Lan Zhan!

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan rumbles beside him.

Wei Wuxian blinks. Again? It’s been two days since they’ve seen the movie, and Lan Zhan has never committed to a bit. So unless he’s corrupted him and unleashed a monster, this is Lan Zhan’s attempt at getting some sort of response.

“Ah, you keep using those words. I do not think it means what you think it means,” he tries.

Lan Zhan just looks at him, the frustrating handsome creature that he is, and smiles. He picks up his phone and walks in the other direction, too fast for Wei Wuxian to follow.

“What?! Hey! Lan Zhan?!”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t see him until he returns and drags him to a reservation at a rabbit cafe. And just piles him with bunnies. He’s buried in a fuzzy grave. But he’s too confused to care.

Seriously. What the fuck?!

The problem is, it keeps going. Is Lan Zhan mad about something but being petty? No, that wouldn’t make sense, this is too damn nice for someone who’s upset at him. But whatever it is, it still keeps catching him way off guard. Like when his laptop crashes while they’re studying in the library.

“Oh fuck me,” Wei Wuxian hisses, glaring at his computer.

“A… as you— you… as you wish,” Lan Zhan stutters, knocking over the matcha latte that Wei Wuxian had surprised him with to pay him back for the coffee. (It had worked. Bring the drink and Lan Zhan can’t pay! Muahaha!) Wei Wuxian gapes at him and finds that Lan Zhan’s ears are so red they’re almost purple. Wei Wuxian’s brain fries. Did Lan Zhan think— did he— Lan Zhan—

“What? No! Not like that!”

“As you wish.”

Was it just him or did Lan Zhan sound almost… disappointed?

He shakes his head and goes back to dealing with his computer. After he sets it to rights again, he considers the matter of Lan Zhan. Even replying to something as ridiculous as that…

It must be a prank, then. Fine! Two can play this game.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!” He calls out quietly. His friend looks up and raises an eyebrow. A silent question.

“I want a sword.”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan doesn’t miss a beat. Damn. Then he’ll have to make it a little wilder. Something downright stupid. Earn a “ridiculous!” like the old days.

“I want it to be engraved with ‘whatever.’”

But Lan Zhan just does that huff-chuckle thing of his. The one that means he’s genuinely amused. When he looks at Wei Wuxian like that, something in his brain labels it “sexy.”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan breathes. And for a second, Wei Wuxian thinks he forgets how to.

Writing emails to teachers is a special kind of hell. It’s like writing a letter but you can expect a response so quickly that the anxiety of “did I just piss off my grade overlord” never really goes away.

Auntie Yu had drilled a format for emailing teachers into him and Jiang Cheng back when they were in high school. But still, it makes him slightly nervous to hit send. Which is dumb because Wei Wuxian does things even if it makes him nervous. But this one thing, asking for things in a legitimate manner? Nope. Heart attacks.

But he needs an answer. So here he sits. Agonizing over this email. Does it sound snippy? Does it make him look stupid? He groans, tilting his head back. Then his eyes land on a familiar figure.

Oh!

“Lan Zhan? Can you do me a favor please?” Wei Wuxian asks his friend. “I keep staring at this email and I can’t tell if it looks okay. Can you…”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan pats his head and leans over his shoulder to inspect the email. He reaches over to fix a grammar error and Wei Wuxian’s nose is full of Lan Zhan’s smell. He smells like his sandalwood body lotion, the jasmine tea he likes to drink, and something uniquely Lan Zhan that brings Wei Wuxian a strange comfort. He likes it when they’re physically close like this. They don’t do it often because he doesn’t think Lan Zhan likes being touched too much, but Wei Wuxian really, really does.

“So it’s good to go?”

Lan Zhan nods, not moving his head from right next to Wei Wuxian’s. From here, he can count Lan Zhan’s long lashes and see his own reflection in Lan Zhan’s glittering eyes.

He turns and hits send, the anxiety behind his email suddenly gone. A smile forms on his face.

“I should ask you to double check these for me more often,” Wei Wuxian laughs. Lan Zhan doesn’t move.

“As you wish,” he says slowly. It feels like there’s something behind those words that he can’t quite grasp.

“I’ll do it for you too, if you want. You don’t ask for enough from me. But still, you’re really the best, Lan Zhan,” he beams. Lan Zhan just pats his head again and heads off to find a book. But the slope of his shoulders as he walks makes Wei Wuxian frown.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

In his hands is a sword in a black scabbard. It has a gorgeous red tassel and on the bottom of the shining pale blade are two characters. Suí Biàn. Whatever.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian breathes. “This is ridiculously expensive. What— how— why— Lan Zhan! How can I accept this?!”

Lan Zhan’s eyes are boring into him, silently speaking. I said “as you wish,” and here it is. 

“So you’re the one my brother commissioned this for?” Lan Xichen asks brightly. “I was quite surprised when he asked me where to find someone who could engrave a sword. So I simply had to follow him when he presented it.”

“Xiongzhang,” Lan Zhan hisses, flushing pink in the ears. It’s vaguely distracting for some reason.

“I think that’s the first new word from you that I’ve heard for days,” Wei Wuxian grumbles. “I know that I’m trained in the sword but I don’t need a real one!”

Jiang Cheng had been interested in sword fighting after one too many dramas. So of course that meant that Wei Wuxian joined him in learning. When they graduated high school, he had pooled money with jiejie to buy him a decorative sword. Jiang Cheng had cried and subsequently pretended he didn’t. But still, Wei Wuxian never expected to own one himself.

“Wangji has one, himself. The elders of our family were quite insistent on us learning martial arts. Have you two sparred?”

Wei Wuxian snorts.

“A few times. With cardboard tubes ,” he says. Distinctly not swords! Lan Xichen’s jaw drops. Then his eyes light up.

“I see,” he says cryptically. “I see.”

He’s getting distracted. This is insane! Absurd!

“Lan Zhan… it’s beautiful. How can I accept this?!”

“It would be a waste of his money if you don’t,” Lan Xichen points out. “He’d just throw it away if you don’t take it. It’s engraved and can’t be returned now.”

That makes the fight in Wei Wuxian shrivel a bit. New plan: buy something expensive for Lan Zhan in return.

“This is a lot, Lan Zhan,” he murmurs. “You have to promise me you’ll accept something from me, too. I— thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Lan Zhan pats his head, running fingers through Wei Wuxian’s hair.

Lan Xichen’s eyes glitter with unrestrained glee in the background.

Wei Wuxian feels his hair stand on end.

So the minute he gets back to his apartment he calls Wen Qing and Nie Huisang over.

“Guys, I need to buy something special for Lan Zhan. Something really special,” he explains. His friends look at him over their coffees and frown.

“What, did he propose to you?” Nie Huisang waves his hand airily. “Just get some fancy lingerie and-“

“What? No, this is serious,” Wei Wuxian interrupts. “I may have fucked up. Majorly.”

His friends’ eyes widen in comical unison.

“Okay, spill,” Wen Qing orders.

“So Lan Zhan’s been doing this weird prank where he responds to everything I say with “as you wish” and—“ Wei Wuxian pulls out the sword— “he bought me a fucking personalized engraved sword.”

“Holy shit,” Wen Qing gasps. “That’s… that’s the real deal. Lan Wangji… he bought you something that expensive for a joke?!”

“Okay, that’s kind of insane. I’m impressed,” Nie Huisang taps the sword with his expensive fan. “I didn’t know he had the guts to do something like this after all this time. So you’re gonna buy something for him now?”

“Yeah. But I don’t know what.” Wei Wuxian buried his face in his hands with a groan. “Lan Zhan’s always liked personal gifts over expensive ones! Things he can use.”

“Then buy him a new guqin or something, dumbass,” Wen Qing yawns. “Expensive and personal. Maybe get it engraved on the side or something.”

“Wen Qing, you’re a genius,” Wei Wuxian sobs with relief. “What would I do without you two?”

“Die,” Nie Huisang chirps, patting Wei Wuxian’s back. He groans.

“Probably.”

Chapter Text

Wangji scowls at the dish he’s scrubbing, venting his frustration into his poor sponge.

Why isn’t it working? Wei Ying is brilliant. A bona fide genius. He’s so good at art and poetry that the professors of the arts departments hate engineering for having him. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed.

Is he being intentionally oblivious? Is Lan Zhan’s love for him making him so uncomfortable that he refuses to address it lest he ruin the current state of their relationship?

No. Wei Ying wouldn’t do that. He’s candid to a worrisome degree. He’d try to help Wangji somehow get over him and end up making Wangji fall even deeper in love with him.

Perhaps Wei Ying needs a nudge.

And once again, as though the heavens themselves are helping him, Wangji finds one at the grocery store the next day. Dressed in jeans and a light purple sweater stands the person who might just Wei Ying’s favorite person in the world. (This is the one person that he would never compete for the role with. She’s a mother and a sister and everything to Wei Ying that Xiongzhang and uncle are to Wangji.)

“Oh. Good morning Lan Wangji,” Jiang Yanli greets him. He bows slightly.

“Good morning.”

She smiles, the picture of innocence.

“So. Are you dating my brother yet?”

Lan Zhan drops the cucumber he’s holding.

“That’s a no, then.”

“I… cannot seem to make my feelings clear to him,” Wangji confesses.

“You. Me. Tea. You’re telling me everything,” she declares.

It’s right then that Lan Wangji is reminded of who her mother is. He obeys without question.

“Okay, okay. Let me get this perfectly clear.” She places her teacup on the table with a gentle click. “You don’t have the courage to outright tell him, so you’re doing what a fictional character did in a movie he introduced you to? What are you doing, exactly?”

“How familiar are you with The Princess Bride?”

Jiang Yanli blinks, and then she giggles. And those giggles become full blown chortles. By the time she sobers, several people are staring.

“Ah. So you’re responding to everything he says with “as you wish,” and following through with it,” she surmises. “And despite the fact that you watched the movie next to each other, my brother still hasn’t gotten the hint?”

“That’s… correct,” Wangji mumbles. She just sighs. She suddenly looks so tired.

“I bought him a sword,” Wangji adds. Jiang Yanli stares at him.

“You bought him a sword?!”

“He said he wanted one. He may have been joking, but I was not when I answered,” Wangji insists. “If “as you wish” means “I love you,” then I will deliver because what I said was true.”

“That’s… really sweet, actually. Okay. You know what? I’m joining you,” Jiang Yanli decides. Wangji blinks.

“Pardon?”

“I’m joining you. I want to see where this goes. You went with Westley, so I’ll take Inigo Montoya!” She says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “My brother is a very smart man, but when it comes to romance he’s a tad… slow. This may take an extra push.”

“Oh.” Wangji blinks. “Then, thank you.”

“Of course.” Jiang Yanli takes a slow sip of her tea, eyes half-lidded. “I’m only helping because I know you care very deeply about my brother. I’m sure you know—“ the clack when she sets her drink on the table sends shivers down Wangji’s spine— “that my approval can change. I won’t condone you hurting him.”

Wangji doesn’t protest. He nods. Jiang Yanli has always intimidated him; for all her softness, she radiates a certain power and dignity that makes him listen when she speaks.

“Good, I’m glad that it’s someone like you who wants to love him. A-Xian has so much love to give,” she laughs. “And honestly, I don’t think he’d want to be confessed to any other way than something he can tell stories about.”

“Wei Ying… really is so good,” Wangji sighs. It’s so good to talk about him. To say out loud that Wei Ying is one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.

“Oh, go on, extol his virtues,” she laughs with a wave of her hand. She leans on her fist, expectant, with an amused tilt to her lips.

Wangji happily accepts.

“He’s kind, and persistent—I’ve never met anyone who could match his tenacity. Brilliant to the point that I’m in awe of him. And… please don’t tell him I said this, but he actually is very funny.”

“And beautiful?”

“The word is inadequate. Wei Ying is stunning. If I didn’t know him, I wouldn’t believe someone that bright exists.”

Jiang Yanli laughs so hard she cries. Which… fair. He’s not even offended.

“I’ve been told I’m a sap,” he offers.

“That person hit the nail on the head,” she giggles. “I hope this works out for you two, really.”

“Lan Zhan! Can I borrow you for a moment?”

“As you wish,” Wangji says. Wei Ying’s face lights up and for a moment, a tiny, delusional moment, Wangji thinks he understands. He’s saying it, and somehow it’s so freeing to say out loud. I love you.

“Okay. So I’m really, really sorry about the sword. I was joking at the time but you got me something so beautiful,” Wei Ying rambles. Wangji blinks. He’d known that Wei Ying was joking, but Wangji had been making a statement.

He follows Wei Ying into his apartment, where a long black box rests on the coffee table.

“Open it,” Wei Ying croaks nervously. Wangji holds his hand, lacing their fingers, and squeezes it tight. Wei Ying looks up at him with a shaky smile.

What is this? Wangji steps forward, hand still laced with Wei Ying’s. He (unfortunately) takes his hand from Wei Ying’s to remove the top of the box. And he gasps.

Inside the box is a masterpiece of shining wood. It’s a guqin. A really, really gorgeous one. It gleams in the light, a brown so dark it’s nearly black. Instead of the clouds like the guqin he’d used since childhood, the side is engraved with elegant cranes. Wangji remembers Wei Ying telling him that they reminded him of him.

Wangji, brain addled by the gift, wraps Wei Ying in a hug. His body is warm and fits into the curve of Wangji’s own and he smells of coffee and warm spices. Wei Ying smiles at him from where their faces are centimeters apart.

“Thank you,” Wangji breathes, forgetting everything for a moment. This… this gorgeous piece. For him. Wei Ying had hand selected this for him. Wangji runs his finger over the smooth wood and finds that he’s smiling. Wide with awe the way he so rarely does. “It’s beautiful. I love it.” I love you.

“I’m glad,” Wei Ying says. “I’ve missed your voice, you know. Someday… maybe I can break out my dizi and we can do a duet?”

“As you wish,” Wangji says. I love you. He’d love nothing more. Wei Ying sighs, resting his face against Wangji’s chest and setting his heart ablaze.

“You are so damn lucky you’re cute.”

Wangji chokes on air, Wei Ying doesn’t realize why and panics. Predictable. When Wangji calms down, Wei Ying pouts at him.

“Seriously, what if I started doing that to you? Just said “as you wish” to you all the time?”

And Wangji… doesn’t know the answer to that. What would it mean to him to hear Wei Ying say that he loves him? But what would it mean to him if that euphoric sound is tinged with the fact that there’s no possible way he would mean it?

Wangji swallows hard.

“As you wish,” he says. I love you. Please, please love me too.

“As you wish,” Wei Ying echoes. And Wangji kind of wants to cry. But Wei Ying is smiling at him and Wangji’s heart is so confused.

His heart stays confused as Wei Ying beams at him from across the quad and runs over.

“I’ve got you a drink! Walk with me,” Wei Ying holds out a hand.

“As you wish,” Wangji dutifully answers. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Hah. I’ve learned my lesson with that one. Need to be careful or I’ll take advantage of you,” Wei Ying shakes head with rueful amusement.

A deeply hidden, shameful part of himself dearly wishes to tell Wei Ying to do exactly that. To take advantage of him and use him until there’s nothing left. Wangji instead just hums softly, lacing his hand with Wei Ying’s.

“I kinda like that this is a thing now,” Wei Ying laughs softly, leaning his head into Wangji’s arm in a way that makes Wangji’s heartbeat accelerate. “Um… is it okay if it stays a thing?”

“As you wish.” You’re the best.

“Oh, right,” Wei Ying chuckles with a bitter edge to it. “Then… you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable, right?”

Wei Ying is so kind. So good.

“As you wish.” You’re so wonderful that I think I’m going to scream, sometimes.

“It’s a promise then,” Wei Ying grins roguishly. “I’ll hold you to that. Here, take this!”

It’s a hot ginger tea. Perfect for the cooling weather.

“Drink it all, I’ll be mad if you catch a cold,” Wei Ying instructs. He’s grinning, though.

“As you wish,” Wangji agrees. I love you, fancy you, whatever you.

“So, some advantages to this system, eh?”

Of course Wei Ying would figure out how to use the way that Wangji is speaking to him now for his own devices and immediately choose to use it to take care of him. Of course.

Wei Ying is a delight to take walks with. He’s eager to tell Wangji anecdotes from his classes or point out the people he recognizes. It’s a familiar dynamic, Wangji letting Wei Ying fill his silence and Wei Ying understanding that Wangji just wants to hear him speak.

Wei Ying tells Wangji about the two kids who were fighting over the same front seat in a class for the past few weeks and suddenly started dating. Professor Song has a new cat and a suspiciously expensive new ring on his finger. Wei Ying tells Wangji that he finally figured out that strangely difficult problem on this week’s set for math. Oh, the person across the lawn with the pink glittery crop top and space buns? That’s Mianmian, and apparently the herbal pouches she sells are not, in fact, weed, but are legitimate herbal scent blends and one of the students in Wei Ying’s class made the mistake of paying for one without checking and tried to bully her into giving him money for it and she knocked him out and called campus security. The student got in trouble with the school for attempting to buy illegal drugs and for trying to harass Mianmian. Mianmian isn’t her real name, apparently, but she wouldn’t tell Wei Ying what it actually is. Ah! And that girl in grey doing a strange dance over there? That’s A-Yan from nutritional sciences and half of the art history department is solidly convinced that she’s either possessed by an ancient deity who is sick of their incorrect conclusions about history or a vampire who saw it happen.

Wangji occasionally wonders what Wei Ying would tell someone he’s on a walk with about Wangji if he were to point him out to them.

Sometimes Wei Ying just points out interesting little details that Wangji hadn’t noticed. Like the blue mossy plants growing in that cracked brick were crawling their way up a wall now. Or the flowers in the bed over there are blooming. There’s a tiny rusty gear stuck to that wall. And Wangji just loves to hear that chatter, filled with Wei Ying’s complete and unflinching zest for life. He doesn’t even realize that they’ve made their way to the halfway point between their next two class buildings until Wei Ying pats his shoulder with a blinding smile.

“Ah, I have to go! Enjoy your classes, yeah?”

“As you wish.” Please, please be mine.

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian opens the door. And he’s greeted by the beautiful smiling face of someone very precious to him.

“Jiejie!”

“I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” Jiejie greets. She’s holding a small pot in her hands. Wei Wuxian’s stomach growls at the sight. That pot right there holds a bit of heaven.

“No? Jiejie, it’s great to see you but what are you talking about? Look, no new fingers,” Wei Wuxian laughs, holding up his hands. “Here, hand that to me. Come in, come in!”

“You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. Then he grins.

“You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die. What’s with all the quotes these days?” Jiejie smiles wanly.

“Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum it up,” she says, voice curling with a fake accent. Crawling horror begins to fill Wei Wuxian’s chest. Is this a very bizarre nightmare? Are the people he cares about possessed?

“Are you… okay, Jiejie?”

“Slow going?” She looks so amused that Wei Wuxian feels like crying. Why are they messing with him like this? This is some sort of prank of hers and he’s missing the punch line here.

“What are you even saying?!”

She just shakes her head, puts the soup pot on the stove, kisses his cheek, and leaves.

Wei Wuxian stares into the steaming soup and sighs. Why is she visiting, making him the best soup ever for, and then doing the same thing that Lan Zhan’s doing to him?

That night, Wei Wuxian stumbles into Jiang Cheng’s apartment. It seems Huisang is out, thank goodness. He loves his friend dearly but he always plays dumb when Wei Wuxian has a crisis that doesn’t involve shopping or clothes.

Jiang Cheng stares at him.

“Wha- how did you get here?! I haven’t given you a key yet!”

Aw. He said “yet.”

“I stole your key and copied it that time we got drunk last week—“

“What the fuck, Wei Wuxian!”

“Listen! Listen! I need your help! I’m having a crisis!”

And that catches Jiang Cheng’s attention. He pretends it doesn’t, valiantly snorting and looking away, but he’s tensed. What a tsundere.

“What,” Jiang Cheng demands. “Tell me you damn fool.”

“Jie and Lan Zhan keep on quoting The Princess Bride at me!” Wei Wuxian wails so horribly that Jiang Cheng looks taken aback. “And Lan Zhan isn’t even changing what he’s saying! “As you wish, as you wish!” And he’s following through on it too! I have a sword, now. What am I gonna do with a sword?!”

Jiang Cheng pauses, face growing thoughtful. Then he smirks, and leans in. Which means he has to have an answer and thinks Wei Wuxian’s stupid not to have noticed! Bless him! Bless him! Wei Wuxian promises not to bother him at 4 am for a month!

“Inconceivable,” Jiang Cheng purrs into his ear.

Wei Wuxian screams and runs.

He doesn’t sleep that well and can’t bring himself to drink coffee because it keeps reminding him of Lan Zhan. So he pays the price for that.

“Watch out!” Wei Wuxian really wishes that he’d seen the frisbee before it hit him. Especially because it’s windy and he’s holding papers. They’re pages of a mathematical proof that he’d been working on for class and forgot to stuff into his bag. He sure fuckin wishes he did now.

“Shit— my paper!” He starts to run after it, but another figure that’s closer to where they’re headed catches it before it can fly too far. And falls backwards into a pile of leaves.

Wei Wuxian runs over to the pile and grins.

“Oh, Lan Zhan, you’re a blessing,” he breathes.

Lan Zhan just reaches his arm out, papers fisted in his hand. Wei Wuxian laughs and takes it, reaching out his other hand to help him up.

“Thanks, Lan Zhan. Really, you just saved my shapely ass there.”

Lan Zhan snorts, taking Wei Wuxian’s hand. Which, okay, rude. But Wei Wuxian will give him a pass right now.

“Let me fix your hair for you, at least.”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan sighs. Wei Wuxian grins.

Heh. It’s true that there are some unexpected benefits to this new arrangement. Especially this one. Wei Wuxian picks the leaves and twigs out of Lan Zhan’s hair. His eyes draw over to Lan Zhan’s ears. His friend is looking at him with so much trust on his face that something in Wei Wuxian’s chest tightens. Something about this moment feels… off. But in a really good way. Almost involuntarily, he runs a finger down the edge of Lan Zhan’s ear. It’s soft, and warm to the touch.

Wei Wuxian marvels at the way it flushes pink under his finger. It’s actually kinda…

“Cute,” he murmurs.

Lan Zhan makes a little noise under him, almost a whimper, and Wei Wuxian shakes his head vigorously. What the fuck was that? He hurriedly finishes taking out the debris from Lan Zhan’s hair. Why is his stomach fluttering like this? Why is his heart skipping beats like that? So suddenly?

Fuck.

Please, don’t mean what he thinks it does.

“Huisang, I think I have a serious problem,” Wei Wuxian groans, staring at his friend’s ceiling. “And you’re probably going to make so much fun of me for it.”

“Okay? And? Either tell me or don’t,” Huisang hums from his bed where he’s reading a comic. “But don’t tease me with it.”

“So what does it mean if I think I might be starting to like Lan Zhan in ways I shouldn’t?”

Huisang’s phone falls to the floor with a clatter. He’s staring at Wei Wuxian, eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Oh. Oh. Hell fucking yeah! Did you finally realize it?”

Wei Wuxian gapes at him, mortified.

“Finally? What do you mean by that?!”

“Oh please. Have you seen the way you talk about him? There is a platonic way to talk about a guy friend and a very not platonic way to talk about a guy friend. You know where you’ve fallen lately,” Huisang raises an incredibly unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re not stupid.”

“Well. Huh. Shit.” Wei Wuxian blinks. Huisang picks up his phone.

“Hm.”

Is Huisang not appreciating what a crisis this is?!

“Look, I can’t be attracted to him! We’re friends!”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little attraction. Besides—“ Huisang waves his phone— “what would change between you two if you acted on it?”

“That’s such a cliche question. You’re better than this.”

“People ask it for a reason, Xianxian,” Huisang hums, swiping at his phone. And being entirely unhelpful. Why did Wei Wuxian come to this guy again?

“Sangsang, please, I’m serious,” Wei Wuxian begs. His friend scoffs.

“Look, you two have been friends for years. I’m pretty sure half of campus is already convinced you’re dating,” Huisang snorts. “You clearly like each other a lot, and if that like crosses over the platonic border, then stop being platonic and go make out or something. It’s a simple solution to a simple problem.”

“I’m sorry, half of campus thinks what?!”

“You heard me. Look, if you like Lan Wangji, what would you even do about it?”

Wei Wuxian frowns. Huisang is skipping a vital step here. Like, uh, Lan Zhan liking him back?

“Nothing! Because he doesn’t feel that way about me!”

“Idiot,” Huisang snaps. “Fine, let’s pretend that’s even remotely true, then why do you even care?”

Wei Wuxian stops short. Huh. If he just assumes that it’s purely physical attraction and doesn’t actually think about it, then he won’t agonize over having a crush on Lan Zhan and getting over it. And even if it does turn out to be a crush, he can just ignore it! Genius.

“That’s a totally zen way of thinking about it,” he says slowly. “Not a bad idea at all.”

“Wait— no—“

“No, no! You’re right, A-Sang! If I don’t even consider it a possibility, surely I won’t drive myself insane wondering about it!”

Huisang looks strangely like he’s about to cry.

“Isn’t attempting the impossible your whole shtick?”

“Shut up. This will definitely work.”

“Guanyin help me, this is your own stupidity at work here and I refuse to let you blame me for this shit later,” Huisang sighs, massaging his temples. “You’re a headache on steroids. Now, get your dense ass over here and tell me which one of these shoes I should buy. I don’t want two sets of the same shoe in different colors but I just can’t choose between green and grey.”

“As you wish,” Wei Wuxian jokes, getting to his feet.

“Oh gross. Keep that shit between you and Wangji-xiong. Now hurry up!”

“Hey Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng strides up to him. “Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?”

“Ugh. A-Cheng please—“

“Morons,” Jiang Cheng grins wickedly. “No but actually, is Lan Wangji still keeping up with the Westley act?”

“He’s right here,” Wei Wuxian points out. “But yeah, he is.”

“A-Jie filled me in. If the idiot doesn’t figure it out soon, tell it to him directly, would you?” Jiang Cheng says, aiming a glare at Lan Zhan’s that’s fiercer than usual. “I don’t think you need me to tell you what I’ll do to you if you fuck this up.”

Lan Zhan nods curtly and Jiang Cheng pats his shoulder.

“Good talk.”

Then he just turns and leaves. Wei Wuxian stares at his retreating back, utterly confused.

“Aiyah! Lan Zhan, you don’t need to worry, okay?”

Lan Zhan just smiles at him.

“As you wish,” he says lightly. So that’s a no. Okay then.

Wei Wuxian startles at the mental translation. Fuck. Is this going to be their version of “I am Groot,” and if so, does that make him Rocket? Actually, that would probably be pretty cool. Rocket is an actual icon. Rogue genius trash panda. It almost fits! Emphasis on almost.

Wait! No! Not now. He’s getting totally distracted.

“Anyway, Lan Zhan, let me tell you about those two kids who kept fighting over that seat. They broke up! I was so hoping for enemies to lovers, here. It was such a dramatic thing, I’ll tell you all about it!”

Sometimes this new normal is harder to reconcile with than it is at other times. Like right now, when they’re scrolling through their phones next to each other on the couch. Before Lan Zhan had decided that his vocabulary would consist of three words, they’d stop and show each other social media posts that they’d thought the other would appreciate. And sometimes that was it, but sometimes it would lead to them talking for hours. It was a moment like that one that had led to their first cardboard tube sword fight, or the one that led Lan Zhan to show him his guqin with the tiny scuff on the cloud engravings. It was a moment like that one that has led him to telling Lan Zhan that he’d changed his name when he was adopted after years in the foster system, for Lan Zhan to tell him that his name had been changed as well.

“Hey Lan Zhan, ever think you’ll go to the beach with me?”

“As you wish.”

This time, it’s not so. It’s not the same, and Wei Wuxian wants to cry. He doesn’t, of course, because that’s not a thing that he does. But he wants to, right now. Even a noncommittal hum would be better than this, because at least that’s the Lan Zhan that Wei Wuxian knows.

Not a second of consideration. Any input for the same damn output. Wei Wuxian wants to scream and get angry, but he can’t. Because he knows that there has to be a reason for this. Lan Zhan never does things on a whim like that. And he knows that it has to be impossible if he’s this serious about it. Lan Zhan is precious to him, he really is. Wei Wuxian refuses for one of the closest people to him in his life to feel that he isn’t special to Wei Wuxian.

But it kind of hurts.

“Ah. I see.”

Whatever message Lan Zhan is trying to tell him, it is a bit lonely without the voice of his best friend. They sit side by side on the couch for a few minutes, neither of them so much as breathing too loudly.

“Lan Zhan, someday… can we go back to talking like we normally do?” Wei Wuxian says quietly. “I kind of miss you.”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan intones, looking over at Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian stares right back.

For some reason, their gazes hold for a moment too long.

Chapter Text

Something is wrong.

Something is terribly wrong.

Wei Ying looks sad. He’s trying to hide it, and to anyone who doesn’t love him, maybe it would be invisible. But to those who do, it is evident it the extra bright smile, the bouncing joy with no cause. Wei Ying hides his sadness with joy whether or not it exists, and when there is no reason for it, it is clear that there is no joy at all.

His eyes search the campus mall for his friend. Where is Wei Ying? He’d texted and said that he wanted to meet here at—

Crash!

Bang!

Mreeeow!

“I’m okay!”

Wangji startles, whipping around to the source of the sound. That’s Wei Ying’s voice. And then there’s a… car alarm? And a loud snap.

Wangji heads towards the noises until his eyes land on the face he’d been searching for. Wei Ying is laughing, a mark of soot on his cheek. Wangji wants to wipe it off, but he doesn’t move.

“I can not believe you just did that,” Jiang Cheng laughs, tugging Wei Ying’s hand. Wei Ying cackles.

“I can! I totally can!”

And he’s smiling at Jiang Cheng in a way that’s genuine and Wangji hates himself deeply for feeling jealous. He loathes it.

Wangji shakes his head.

Stupid. He’s so stupid. Why is he even so upset?

He reaches out a hand to wave and then stops himself. It’s a jerky, obviously an aborted motion, but enough of a wave that he’s caught his best friend’s eye. Wei Ying laughs and waves back, big and cheerful. But the sound is odd. Sharp in the way that broken things are.

Jiang Cheng shoots his brother a look. Then one to Wangji, who shakes his head. He doesn’t know what’s wrong either. Jiang Cheng scowls at him and drags his brother away with nary a word.

Not that he needs to. Wei Ying accepts it, more docile than Wangji is used to seeing him.

He’s worried.

He spies Wei Ying working in the library and it’s second nature to join him. Wei Ying looks up and smiles briefly before going immediately back to his work. His mouth is set in a line and his gaze is focused so intently on the book that Wangji is irrationally jealous of it.

He wants to burn under that steady gaze too.

It’s not like Wei Ying hasn’t looked at him like that before, but never for long. Certainly never for long enough that Wangji’s had his fill of that utterly bewitching mien.

Seeing Wei Ying in his element is so wonderful. He’s so smart and when he finds something that actually challenges him, he’s one of the hardest workers that Wangji has ever met. Wangji watches his eyes jump from the book to the page open on his laptop to the notebook open next to it. The fluid way he moves as he writes enchants Wangji in ways he cannot find words to properly explain.

Based on the book, it seems to be something for the art history class that Wei Ying is taking this semester. Wei Ying isn’t fond of history lessons and memorization, Wangji knows, but he does love art history.

Wei Ying is the type of person who has an ability to make any interest infectious. Anything he speaks about with enough passion seems so enthralling that Wangji can’t help but be hypnotized by it. It’s the reason his search history has several pages on old animation, etymology, and… denim of all things. What can he say? Wei Ying is always able to speak about niche subjects with such fascination that it stays with Wangji. Sometimes for even longer than it does with Wei Ying. It’s just another one of those idiosyncrasies that makes him so endearing.

Wangji stops and taps a pen on a minor sign error that Wei Ying left.

“Oh, thanks, Lan Zhan,” he turns and beams at him. “Come, there’s a seat next to me. You don’t need to stand. Sit, sit!”

“As you wish,” Wangji murmurs . I want to swallow you whole, breathe you in, drink you down. I want to hold you in the palms of my hands like the precious wonder you are. His head spins with how much he loves Wei Ying. Wei Ying, who looks up at him so pretty and innocent that something deeply shameful in Wangji hungers like some sort of wild animal.

He shakes himself from his thoughts and sits next to Wei Ying. He has assignments to work on too, so he should probably just get to them now.

Wei Ying works, humming as he reaches conclusions doing… whatever it is that this is. It’s a delighted sound so Wangji will assume it’s an indicator of success. Halfway through working on his psychology essay, he stops completely and just starts watching Wei Ying. He seems at peace right now. Like whatever was wrong is suddenly gone.

Wangji hopes that this is the case. Wei Ying hasn’t confided in him and while he’d normally push a bit out of concern, it’s blatantly clear that Wei Ying doesn’t want to discuss it.

They stay like this until Wei Ying leaves for a class, bidding Wangji a distracted farewell.

Wangji stares at the spot he’d left.

He craves Wei Ying’s presence, even in the seconds after it slips away from him. Wangji has discovered in recent years that when it comes to this, he’s insatiable.

Wangji sets the guqin on his lap, running reverent fingers over the glossy wood. He has not played very much on Wei Ying’s gift to him, too afraid to do a single thing with a chance of breaking it.

He plucks at the strings, enjoying the rich sound. There’s open sheet music in front of him, but he’s not particularly paying attention to it. Rather, he repeatedly pulls on the same string. It wobbles with a heavy duang.

Wangji does recognize that he’s sulking. He doesn’t particularly care.

Most of his would-be peaceful solitude is cut into by questions about Wei Ying.

What is it that could explain this sudden back and forth of genuine upset and contentment? Last time he had seen Wei Ying like this the two of them had ended up on a road trip that involved a giant tortoise, spelunking, five pieces of an antique but broken metal amulet, a very buff custom Barbie torso, and a fog machine that released hallucinogenic powder in the haze. His uncle had been livid and his brother had been delighted.

Wangji wonders if this time he will be able to go on an adventure with Wei Ying again someday. It was during that spelunking trip, chasing after the fifth piece of the metal amulet that had been stolen by said very large tortoise, that he had realized that he was fully in love with Wei Ying, after all.

They had been panting and sweaty, having wrestled the metal that now sported a large dent from the tortoise’s mouth, and Wei Ying had smiled up and said “I’m glad I’m able to do this with you,” and Wangji’s soul had been set ablaze.

He’s been burning ever since.

Why is he still doing this? It’s clearly not working. Wei Ying won’t respond to it. Wangji doesn’t know if he can keep baring his heart like this, hidden behind a veil but still so easily pierced. But once the words made their way out of his mouth, he can’t stop the flood. The dam has broken. The dam has broken and Wangji can’t seem to stop. This is him dancing on the seam of courage and cowardice. His head is bowed by the weight of his own fear as he balances on the razor-edge of predictable safety.

He puts the guqin away. He can’t bear to look at it right now.

When Wei Ying reserves lab time to make sure his assignments are all clear— a meticulous aspect of him that he doesn’t show to many people, preferring to maintain a “lazy genius” image— Wangji likes to join him. It’s quiet time to admire Wei Ying at work, and Wei Ying always enjoys another presence beside him. Wangji takes it as a point of pride that Wei Ying especially appreciates his.

Today, he’s a few minutes late to join him. By the time he rounds the corner, he hears voices.

“Oh ho, lookie here.” The snide and unmistakable pitch of Wen Chao’s voice startles Wangji into moving faster. “It’s little orphan Wei!”

“Wen Chao! Back from suspension, I see.” Wei Ying’s voice is filled with obviously fake cheer to the point of condescension. Wangji is close enough to see Wen Chao’s sneer from where the man is standing in the lab doorway, backed by Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu. The PhD student looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, to be honest, but Wang Lingjiao’s smirk is so nasty that it makes up for it.

“And whose fault is that, huh?”

“I’m assuming… yours?”

Wangji is finally close enough to see Wei Ying’s face, but he can’t get through the door with the trio blocking the way. So he’s just awkwardly standing in the middle of the hall. Wonderful.

“Hm. Don’t see your little pet Lan here. Where is that stone-face?”

Wei Ying’s face flashes with something that Wangji can’t recognize on sight and doesn’t last long enough for him to try to. But… stone-face? Wangji isn’t impressed.

“Lan Zhan isn’t my pet. He’s my friend, not that you’d know what that looks like,” Wei Ying snarls, faux-cheer dropped.

“Oh please, everyone can see the way he follows you and agrees to do everything you say. Do you let him fuck you in exchange?” Wen Chao’s leer is utterly vile and Wangji resists the urge to break his jaw. He could do it. He could do it so easily. Why not… just do it?

Wei Ying just smirks disdainfully and Wangji knows that he has it covered. In fact, he’d probably be offended if he were to step in now.

“Looking into my life? That’s fan behavior,” Wei Ying mocks, lips tugging into a cruel smirk that has no right to be as attractive as it is. “What brings you out to come find me? I can give you an autograph if you ask nicely.”

Wen Chao saunters in with the air of someone who thinks that nothing can stop him. A foolish confidence. One that Wangji will take a deep pleasure in crushing someday.

In fact, how about right now?

He strides up to the classroom and without even a pretense of politeness, gets involved.

“You’re in my way.”

“And so the pet arrives!” Wen Chao claps with disgusting glee. “Ready to go wag your tail at your master?“

Wangji looks around and sees no cameras. Good.

He punches Wen Chao in the face. Wen Chao crumples to the floor like the windbag he is.

“You fucking creep! Come on Chaochao, let’s get out of here,” Wang Lingjiao whines, clearly covering that she’s intimidated. Wangji flexes his fingers and makes another fist.

Wen Zhuliu meets his eyes and Wangji catches a spark of amusement. Still, he does nothing but haul Wen Chao to his feet and get him out of there. Wang Lingjiao follows, fussing over him.

Wangji didn’t even punch him that hard.

Wei Ying looks up at him with something almost… nervous in his gaze. It draws Wangji from his thoughts. He rests a hand on his friend’s shoulder, a silent question after his well-being and reassurance.

Wei Ying lifts a hand tentatively to touch Wangji’s own.

“Hey Lan Zhan… can you… can you hug me?”

It’s such a strange question for Wei Ying to ask. But Wangji doesn’t question it.

“As you wish.” I’ve ripped my heart out of my chest, from behind the safety of my walls, and placed it in your hands.

Wei Ying’s head falls to rest on Wangji’s chest. They don’t move, just stand there breathing, hearts pounding against each other.

Wei Ying looks up, head tilting upwards so their eyes meet. His gaze is electric with something Wangji cannot name, but he can’t help but stare back into it. There’s a swirling darkness in Wei Ying’s eyes that captivates him.

Wangji wraps his arms around Wei Ying’s body, which is so warm against his. Wei Ying’s eyes don’t leave his.

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying’s face falls. “Maybe… maybe you should…”

Wangji awaits Wei Ying’s wish. He’s devoted with some reckless ardor that burns beneath his skin.

“As you wish.” I’ve given you my heart. It’s yours to keep or destroy. Do with me as you please.

“Maybe you should let me go, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says. Wangji releases him, head spinning with the weight of his confusion. Something is wrong and Wei Ying won’t tell him what it is. He grabs his things and darts out of the room before the words are fully out of Wangji’s mouth.

“As you wish.” I love you.

Chapter Text

There is, naturally, a backstory to the moment that Wei Wuxian is forced to acknowledge his own feelings. As there always is when Wei Wuxian is forced to confront his own stupidity.

Huisang had invited them to a movie at his place and Wei Wuxian won’t admit it, but he’s relieved. Being alone with Lan Zhan doesn’t quite feel the same. His world’s been solidly thrown on its side lately and he doesn’t really want to pretend.

They’d watched a romance movie that he couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to. Wen Ning had left with Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng had demanded Lan Zhan walk him home. Not that Lan Zhan wouldn’t have done it anyway, given the look he gave Jiang Cheng at the suggestion.

Which is what leads them to this. Haloed in the pale light of the street lamp, Lan Zhan stops and turns to face him.

Wei Wuxian can’t help it. He stares.

Shadows drawn by the artificial light dance on his face and wind gently brushes the strands of Lan Zhan’s hair from his face. Oh, it’s terrible in how it makes him look both dangerous and alluring.

A siren, Wei Wuxian thinks, mouth suddenly dry.

Marble skin on a face built of smooth but sharp lines. All-consuming eyes that glitter almost-gold in a way that captures a room. Wei Wuxian wants to run his fingers over that skin. To rub his thumb against Lan Zhan’s cheek and rest his fingertips on his eyelids. To lace their fingers and lock their hands together. To kiss those lips that are peony pink and rest that head against his shoulder. He wants a million things and all of them with Lan Zhan.

Against his will, without any warning, Wei Wuxian swallows hard.

Something like hunger rests in his chest. A maddening desire for more. And he doesn’t know what it actually is that he craves more of. But he knows he shouldn’t be feeling it. This must be attraction. Natural when you’re in the presence of someone so lovely as Lan Zhan is. But surely it’s just that.

Besides, he told himself he wasn’t going to think about it. If there’s no avenue, why check for a street sign? Something like that between them feels so out of the realm of possible that it’s not worth wondering if he does have feelings for Lan Zhan.

“Isn’t attempting the impossible your whole shtick?”

Shut the fuck up, mental Huisang.

Why is it that he, a grown adult, can’t seem to tell if his heart is beating in his throat because Lan Zhan is sexy or if it’s because Wei Wuxian wants to hold his hand?

The thought stops him in his tracks. Because he knows exactly which of the two had been the reason just now. Because he’s always wanted to come up to Lan Zhan and hold his hand as they walk in the light of street lamps. But now? Now it’s not just that. It’s both.

He bites a curse between his teeth and Lan Zhan looks over at him, alarmed.

But Wei Wuxian doesn’t say a word. Instead, he simply smiles and offers Lan Zhan his hand.

And Lan Zhan takes it.

Just like that, something in his chest burns.

Never let it be said that idiocy is sustainable. Wei Wuxian is very bad at ignoring his feelings once he’s been made aware of them. His mental Huisang is laughing at him right now and Wei Wuxian probably deserves it.

In hindsight, it’s obvious. The way their little domesticities feel so right that something in his chest sings when they carve out spaces for each other in their lives. The way that he had laid eyes on Lan Zhan four years ago and known, somehow, that this man would be very important to him for a long time.

And before, had anyone asked him if he loved Lan Zhan. His answer would have been yes.

How do you know if you’re in love with someone you already do love?

It’s harder than it looks, apparently.

And now, as Huisang’s zen advice has given, he does the mature thing and completely ignores all of this.

After all, this is what Wei Wuxian wants, not Lan Zhan. This is one-sided and therefore can’t go anywhere. Lan Zhan sees Wei Wuxian as Wei Ying, the first person who fought everything to be his friend. Can he really take that away from him?

Lan Zhan is looking over at him, eyes furrowed cutely in confusion. Wei Wuxian smiles softly and reaches out a hand to smooth the minuscule wrinkle between Lan Zhan’s eyebrows.

“You know, I can only recognize this after so long with you,” he laughs. It’s true, though. A testament to their closeness. “But really, don’t frown like that. I like seeing you happy.”

“As you wish.” Lan Zhan tilts his head like there’s something he wants to say but won’t. Wei Wuxian’s smile trembles on his face, but he keeps it there.

“Good. Please be happy, Lan Zhan.”

“Mn. As you wish.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t think about it. Like he said he would.

He does! Really! Just… very unsuccessfully.

Sleepless nights are spent staring at his ceiling in the dark and wishing Lan Zhan was lying next to him. Wondering what it would be like if they were lovers. Dreaming of what a world like that would look like. Sometimes they’re fit so well around each other in the waking hours that it feels like a scene in his fantasies and he struggles to breathe with the new weight of knowing.

But he’s fine. This is fine. He can hold this in his heart and keep it to himself. He knows that someday he’ll have to strangle these feelings, but it’s so hard to will himself to.

Like now, when they’re just existing in the same space. He’s doing work at Lan Zhan’s because Lan Zhan dragged him out of the library and wordlessly plied him with water. The funny thing is that this isn’t even new. But there they are, doing homework on his couch.

Well. Until this.

“Corrupted file. Shit,” Wei Wuxian hisses, staring at his ruined work and running a hand through his hair. He knows that he’s going to need to redo this entire thing. It’s lucky he already knows what he needs to do.

A hand tentatively squeezes on his shoulder. Wei Wuxian looks up to find that Lan Zhan’s eyes are boring into his own, curved just slightly the way they do when he’s concerned. It’s his silent way of asking if Wei Wuxian is okay. And Wei Wuxian knows it, the way he knows Lan Zhan intimately, like a river that can weave around the twists and turns of a mountain range. From his spot deep in the valleys of Lan Zhan, how can this be anything but love?

Wei Wuxian wants to cry. The urge builds in his throat and he swallows around it. Suddenly his ruined project is so far from his mind that it may as well be on another planet.

Just once… he’ll fall into this indulgence once. To be held by Lan Zhan and feel all of what he feels. Before he has to say goodbye to those feelings. Before that day comes, he can have this.

Well. Never let it be said that Wei Wuxian makes good decisions when it comes to himself.

“Hey Lan Zhan.” The words are hard to force out of his mouth. “Can you… can you hold me?”

The words feel like a goodbye, somehow.

“As you wish.” Lan Zhan’s voice is hot against the shell of his ear as strong arms wrap around his waist.

There’s probably a list of poets who have written about every sensation there is, how his heart burns, how electricity buzzes under his skin, how his stomach floods with butterflies, but Wei Wuxian only has one conclusion. It’s addictive, this feeling. A smile crawls onto his face before he can stop it.

Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Zhan’s hands that meet at his front and raises a hand to touch the ivory fingers before he stops himself with a jerk.

He hates this. He hates knowing he has these feelings for Lan Zhan. Because now that he’s looked, he can’t look away.

And the worst part? Lan Zhan isn’t even talking to him normally these days!

He can’t take it, seesawing wildly between this exhilarating tenderness and with Lan Zhan being frustrating to the point that Wei Wuxian wants to scream.

And right now? When Lan Zhan holds him with a gentle firmness that makes his heart do astonishing things in his chest? Wei Wuxian resists the urge to shriek with frustration. With himself or with his best friend, he doesn’t even know anymore. He looks over his shoulder to meet Lan Zhan’s eyes.

Neither of them say a word.

He turns back to look at his laptop on the table. It’s so small from where he’s sitting on Lan Zhan’s couch. He can feel Lan Zhan’s chin rest on his shoulder and then he’s distracted again. Would it be too much to run his fingers through Lan Zhan’s hair?

It feels so soft against his cheek and Wei Wuxian’s hand rises before he can even think about it and comes to rest in it.

“Your hair is so soft, Lan Zhan,” he says when Lan Zhan raises a slightly confused eyebrow. It’s only then that he realizes that their lips are centimeters from each other’s.

Wei Wuxian suddenly wonders what’s actually stopping him from just losing his mind and kissing him.

“You should let me pet it all the time,” he rambles. Lan Zhan’s eyes flick to Wei Wuxian’s lips in what feels like slow motion. Wei Wuxian can’t look away.

“As you wish.”

Oh look, the irritation is back. But it’s buried in something that feels too fond for him to truly be upset.

“Thanks, Lan Zhan. I have to get back to work, though.”

Lan Zhan lets him go and Wei Wuxian doesn’t even bother thinking too much about the way he suddenly feels so cold.

He honestly didn’t expect this to happen this week. All of what’s been happening, he thought it wouldn’t. But like clockwork, Lan Zhan is at his door. He’s holding a bottle of tea for them to share and his eyes are soft in the way his face is when he’s happy. When he’s happy to see Wei Wuxian, just to be together.

So how can he refuse him?

And that leads them to this. Wei Wuxian looks at the movies in his recently watched and back at Lan Zhan. And Lan Zhan is gazing at him, waiting for him to say something, to realize something.

The seconds tick by, painful in their slow drag.

“You’re trying to say something to me,” Wei Wuxian says. “And it has to do with that movie.”

It’s not anything he hasn’t figured out, of course. But why can’t Lan Zhan just tell him? What is he so afraid of saying that he won’t say what he means? Is it a truth too painful to put into words and make it more real? A message that he’s scared of seeing the aftermath of?

Lan Zhan doesn’t speak. He hasn’t said anything other than those three words. And Wei Wuxian knows it means something and he’s desperate to know what that something is.

“Watch the movie again with me. Just us.”

“As you wish,” Lan Zhan whispers. His voice sends electricity down Wei Wuxian’s spine.

Wei Wuxian starts the movie again. He watches every time Westley says “as you wish,” searching for something, anything, that could tell him why Lan Zhan is—

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “as you wish,” what he meant was “I love you.”

And it hits him. It hits him like a truck, or a waterfall, or anything with enough impact to make him freeze. He turns to face Lan Zhan, who is poised to flee, ears cherry red. Before he can, Wei Wuxian grabs his wrist.

“This is it, then,” he breathes. “Three words and I’ll know what you want from me.”

“As you wish.”

I love you.

Wei Wuxian grabs the front of Lan Zhan’s shirt and kisses him. He kisses hungrily, but the best part is that Lan Zhan kisses back and matches his hunger.

They’ll need to talk about this, after. What this means for them.

But all Wei Wuxian wants right now is for Lan Zhan to feel this assurance. To know that this is mutual. Lan Zhan has always communicated more through action than word and right now Wei Wuxian is speaking his language.

When they finally come up for air, chests heaving against each other, Wei Wuxian tucks his head into the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck.

“You’re adorable, but that was annoying. Please just tell me next time.”

“As you wish.”

Wei Wuxian snorts.

“Love you too.”