Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For the three years that Jude and Connor had been out as a couple, Jude had taken a lot of shit. Name-calling, teasing, spitballs, shoves, gestures, a lot of terrible things from homophobic assholes who took advantage of the fact that Jude would never tell his boyfriend what they had done. It was clear to Jude what would happen if Connor ever knew. Violence. Jude's least favorite thing would take over their lives. Connor wasn't exactly an expert at managing his anger, especially when it came to Jude. The last thing he wanted to happen was Connor to get suspended—or worse—because of something some stupid kid said. Everything changed when the abuse got more physical.

Connor had an early dismissal from school that day, a dentist appointment. It wasn't like Jude had ever really felt unsafe without Connor by his side before. He was really just caught off guard when Sam and his buddies surrounded him when he was walking home after school. "Hey faggot," Sam was all up in his face. The jerkoff and his cronies were closing in. Jude had only expected them to tease him a bit and then call it a day after calling him a cock-sucker a couple times. But what happened next was more than he had bargained for. Long story short, the fight ended with Jude on the ground, lip bloody, eye black, side bruised, spirits broken. And he only got a couple sarcastic comments in before the kicking and punching started. The only thing really running through his mind while getting the shit kicked out of him was, how the fuck he was gonna hide all this from Connor.

Jude stared at himself in the mirror that night. Examining his wounds intensely, cleaning his face over and over again as if he could wash the black eye away just as well as he had cleaned up the blood. It was a good thing that his moms were out of town. At this point, all of his siblings had moved out and he was pretty much alone in the house this week. As much as he wanted his boyfriend to comfort him after such a shit day, Jude knew what was best. And besides, he had taken much worse from previous foster parents, foster siblings and the like. He was strong. He could do this. All he needed was some concealer. So he borrowed a tube of Stef's liquid concealer and a bit of powder and got to work trying to hide the damage. If he could figure it out that night it would be so much easier in the morning.

•••

The next morning was stressful for Jude. The makeup looked okay but he wanted to hide it better. Everything he tried looked too suspicious. He was shaking. Horrified. This was the worst it had ever been. Time to go to school. Time to see Connor.

This is why he didn't want their relationship to be public in the first place. It seemed like the more stuff people knew about Jude, the more prepared they were to torment him. And yeah, of course it wasn't fun to be kept a secret, but it was even less fun to see judgemental looks on people's faces every time he was within 3 feet of his boyfriend. All of it could have been avoided if Connor hadn't insisted on advertising their relationship to the whole school. What's done is done, though. Now all Jude could do was deal with the problem at hand.

"Hey Jude," Connor smiled. He was always ecstatic when he saw Jude, except this time something was off about his usually smiling, joyful boyfriend. "Hey Con," Jude was looking down, trying his best to hide his beaten face. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep up this charade for long. But he still forced a happy expression.

Connor gently lifted Jude's chin but his boyfriend quickly turned away from him. "Jude. Look at me," Connor definitely knew something was up, Jude wasn't himself. He was hiding something and Connor knew it too. The shorter boy looked up but only briefly. In the split second that Jude looked directly at him, Connor saw it. He saw the purplish blue behind concealer that was just a shade too light for Jude's perfect complexion. And judging by Jude's cut lip, this was no accident. He licked his thumb and wiped a bit of the makeup away as Jude winced softly. That was fast, Jude thought.

"Who did this to you," Connor whispered. He was on the verge of tears, knowing all too well the hell that Jude had lived throughout his childhood. His anger bubbled over as Jude shook his head silently. "Who the fuck did this to you?!" He was shouting now. Jude cringed. Connor had tears rolling down his face by the time he pulled his boyfriend into a hug. His fists clenched. "Baby, are you okay? Who did this to you? You gotta tell me, baby. Tell me who hurt you. They'll never fucking touch you again, I promise, baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to stop it, Jude," He rambled into the ear of the boy who dreaded what might happen next.

Jude was heartbroken, not for himself but for Connor who he could tell was in far more pain emotionally than Jude felt physically. He knew Connor too well and it was obvious to Jude that the shame of "letting" his boyfriend get beaten up was taking Connor over. He took a step away from Connor's comforting embrace. "It's nothing, really it doesn't even hurt. No big deal. Just boys being boys, y'know?" Jude said nonchalantly, rubbing Connor's arms in an attempt to calm him. Maybe if he brushed it off Connor would too. Not that he really believed that the notoriously short-tempered boy would actually let it go, but it was worth a shot.

"It is a big deal, Jude. You have to tell me who did this. I'll go crazy trying to figure it out. I'll just go nuts. You have to tell me so I can make sure they never do this again. I won't let them near you," Connor said through clenched teeth. Jude looked down again, contemplating whether or not he should stop torturing the boy and just tell him. Maybe he could convince Connor to leave them alone. To not let this all escalate. He decided finally to tell him. "Sam," he whispered reluctantly, "Sam, Logan, and Jeff." The worst part of all this was that these were all people that Connor saw almost every day at baseball practice. You could almost feel the betrayal just by looking at Connor's face. He was a mixture of furious, broken-hearted, sad, and vengeful. The rage-filled silence was broken by the morning bell. Connor said monotonously, "See you after class. I love you." And Jude knew. Bad things were about to happen. Very bad things.

Chapter Text

Connor watched to make sure Jude got into his first period class safely. Was this what it was going to be like from then on? Could Connor no longer relax knowing that Jude would be okay? He wondered if he would ever feel like Jude was safe when he wasn't by his side. No. Connor would fix this, one way or another. He would make things right. Then the thought crossed his mind that this may not have been the first time that the boys he previously considered to be his friends had done this. That this may not have been the first time his precious Jude had tried to hide something horrible from him. And he got even angrier. But another thought came to him that relaxed him for a moment. True, it may not have been the first time, but he was gonna make damn sure that it was the last time. Never again would he let anyone hurt that perfect boy with the beautiful soul. He would do anything for that boy. For the boy that he loves.

Connor reached his first period just before class started. His face was blank, but his mind was racing. And all the pent-up rage was making him jitter. He was shaking violently, his fists clenched tightly. Connor had the urge to do something he hadn't done in a long while. He had an overwhelming desire to punch something—or someone for that matter. His face turned blazing red and stung like his hands did after hitting a baseball with no batting gloves.

"Connor? Are you alright?" His teacher was practically shouting by what Connor estimated to be about the fifth time she said it. It wasn't that he didn't hear her the first four times but frankly, he didn't care. Besides, it was just background noise. Upstaged almost entirely by his scrambled thoughts.

It was decidedly best that he answer her to avoid drawing more attention to himself. "Huh? Yeah I'm fine. Can I...um...can I just get some water?" He asked trying desperately to be excused so he could get his emotions in check long enough to make it through the day.

"Of course."

In the bathroom, was where Connor started hyperventilating. He tried to expel the numerous images his brain had conjured up. Images of Jude taking blows to the face, of bleeding. Images of Jude, helpless. Images that broke his heart. The tears came again and this time Connor couldn't contain them. He started to break down sobbing in the bathroom stall which only caused the anger to escalate. "Shut up shut up shut up shut up." Connor pounded his fists against his head trying to stop the uncontrollable bawling, to no avail. He finally relieved his urge to bash something, leaving a substantial crack in the side of the stall. Six minutes, he counted, he sat there and furiously sobbed for six minutes. In the seventh minute, Connor stood up with that same blank expression from earlier, wiped his eyes, and walked back to class. Those six heart-wrenching minutes were not wasted. Connor wouldn't confront Sam, Jeff, and Logan all half-assed and chicken-shit. No, he was gonna teach them a lesson that they and anyone else who even thought about trying to hurt Jude would never forget.

•••

The lunch bell rang. Connor calmly packed his backpack and walked out of class. He cracked his knuckles, preparing himself for what was to come. Instead of going to find Jude to sit with him as usual, he walked towards the volleyball court which is where he knew Sam and the others ate lunch daily. As soon as he caught sight of them, nothing was off the table. His rage controlled every fiber of his being, just as he was controlled by love when he looked into Jude's eyes. This wasn't about love though. This was about hate. About the chain of hate that was forming. Sam hated Jude, so Connor hated Sam. But all of this hate came from Connor loving Jude and Connor couldn't fathom how so much hate could come from so much love. Connor couldn't even begin to comprehend why people couldn't just leave Jude's and his happiness alone so they could go and find their own. Connor just didn't understand. The only thing he could accept right now was how fucking much he wanted to beat the prejudice and bitterness out of them.

Connor approached the unsuspecting boys with speed, his face purple with fury. Sam's eyes widened in terror when Connor grabbed him by the shirt collar and said, "If you think you can fuck with my boyfriend and get away with it—" Connor was cut off by his own fist landing on Sam's face with a crack. "—then you've got another thing coming, asshole." Sam was practically clawing at Connor, trying to escape his grasp. Logan and Jeff were long gone by this point, they ran away soon after the first punch. "DON'T. YOU. EVER. FUCKING. TOUCH. JUDE. AGAIN." Each word was separated by the harsh sound of knuckle on cheek. Sam's face was bloody, he was crying. Connor looked at the damage he had done and then up at Jude who was yelling at him to stop, his face soaked with tears. Everything was hazy. Connor felt like he was in a nightmare as he glanced back down at Sam's bloody face and pictured Jude's there instead. Would the chain of hate come full circle? Could Jude ever hate Connor for what he had done? The boy with the bloody knuckles did the only thing he could think to do. He hugged his boyfriend and told him how much he loved him before getting yanked away by a couple nearby teachers who happened to stumble across the commotion.

Jude was speechless.

Connor was gone.

An ambulance was called.

All of this because Jude wasn't good enough at makeup.